#so i could sort that out by rewatching
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early seasons spn homophobia is actually so crazy because they literally do not look gay. hamfisted gay jokes when the characters look straight as hell. "you look the type" they literally don't. is the thing
#spn#there just truly was something in the waters of 2005-2008 in general. everybody just ITCHING to make gay jokes#even if there was really no actual foundational set up for it.#i'm rewatching himym right now which is. well it's many things but it IS interesting. to see#and there are SO many gay jokes that like. don't even make sense???? they're so forced.#like why are y'all so desperate to mention gayness even when it doesn't even suit the situation to make that joke.....#like you didn't need to do all that. you didn't need to even mention it. but you went out of your way to make a little gay joke#wish i could write some sort of thesis on the flirtation society had with gayness in 2005-2008 like. omg i don't even KNOW how to sum it up#obsession with gayness but still have to put on the front of it being Not Desirable but still can't help but mention it at every opportunit#like kids pulling on each other's hair and calling each other names in an effort to get attention#but that was mainstream society + culture @ the concept of being gay
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There's 2 categories of regression headcanons
You fully believe this character is or could be a regressor/cg/flip/something. There's bits in canon that you can point to and say that's why and there's reasons why they would specificially regress or be a caregiver! A headcanon or heartcanon.
For sillies. Feasibly, you could write ANY character to be part of the community! You don't actually think it would fit but you're either imagining it because you're fond of the character and there's just something about it or you're going through all the characters in your head an applying babification to them. I call these "regressorland headcanons" where you prioritise the regression over being true to canon.
Both are great Both are entertaining! But gosh it can be hard to get yourself to answer "do I actually think this would fit or am I just doing this for the sake of it/doing what i think could possibly apply"
#Alexithymia has to be playing a part in this#babbling#im thinking about my downton hcs and i have one biiig brain dump which i might revise or format or neaten when i have the brain space and#rewatch a bit#but some of these characters its like.#i dont think youre a regressor or a caregiver. its out of character. but i totally know what type youd be if you were#cough mary cough#maybe i could make a big post for all the ones i actually believe then invite people to send asks about certain characters that they want t#hear about#maybe i could do a big list? like everyones names and what i think their role would be or a “i could see it but i dont think so”#and then.... add links? to individual character posts as i went down the list?#i originally planed to do one big sort of file but im not sure what the best way to format this is#agere headcanons#agere fandom#petre fandom#petre headcanons
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Oh boy the papers I could write just about the line “Dean, does it bother you how well you fit in here?”
There is so much nuance to Dean’s character in that one line
#I mean#the way Sam perceives him#in the early seasons#the way Dean seeks out#any sort of movie-style life#because he find comfort in media#and in pretending he has any other life except hunting#the way it showcases deans ability to manipulate social systems#like prisons or the police#the way it shows how smart he is#how adaptable he is#there is just so much#i could go on#forvever#spn#supernatural#spn rewatch#turnip talks#dean winchester#sam winchester#folsom prison blues
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funny how this fic started off as an "unserious" idea (not cracky, more so i didn't take it that seriously, it was basically so i could rotate certain characters from my head into a google doc), i didn't expect to care abt it as much as i do now like i have a basic chapter layout for half of the set chapter count, specific scenes prewritten, a planning doc with around five pages thus far, the basics (title, summary, etc), random scenes for it spinning around in my head, and a bit of chapter one and three pages of chapter four written 😭
and i started properly thinking stuff for and working on this fic like...two days ago
it was not supposed to be This Serious hfjkdhf
#(this reminds me of how unserious i initially took picking petals but then it turned into All That lmaoo)#literally shoved some of my fav reboot rarepairs in this lmao#i think the reason why i havent made more progress with the chapter prewriting is bc college is kicking my ass i hardly get free time 😭#and also there arent any transcripts for s2 of the reboot :(#had to do psychology and mental health research for one of the characters for a hc and although i wanna incorporate it im hesitant#bc i dont wanna fuck it up somehow. but also im doing more research in case i think of another idea for them#i might go for it tho. we'll see. if i do its gonna further the angst bc some Baggage goes with it but stuff will wrap up too#so far whenever i think abt them i use that sort of lens anyway#so either i do it fully or aspects are implied via connective factors like environmental surroundings#either way it will involve that specific idea i have thought up to some degree#anyway im halfway thru s2 and taking notes for the fic while watching (i was planning on watching first then rewatching while outlining-#-buuut im too pumped lmao i see scenes and go 'oh imagine if i change it up a little in the fic' etc etc and then i just gotta jot it down)#the elimination order is tearing my hair out tho bc i love the cast but s2's elimination order was Not It i def gotta change that#ugh so much planning 😭 it was NOT this difficult with picking petals#(could be bc tdpi is my fav cast to write for)#sigh. lets see how it goes! and if I'll even publish this anytime soon lmao#kit writes#kit stuff#noahtally-famous#(....also dw ygs i know i rlly gotta finish agtsta's next chapter too-)
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rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses
#every time i rewatch an episode the points where it couldve been better poke me in the eye#maybe probably the exact same thing would happen with any other thing i would get this obsessed about#you stare at something long enough its flaws will become ever more apparent#you love something enough everything it could have been but IS NOT becomes ever more painful#i watched 13x5 tonight.........honestly what the fuck goes on#no these were my responses now 3 years and probably a dozen rewatches in:#1) what the fuck goes on#2) philosophically stilll utterly unintelligible to me i might be stupid#swarm and azures whole thing. like. everything they say about their Schemes is completely......incoherent. i dont understand it.am i stupid#3) feels like most agents in these plots are just doing busywork. but might be my inability to understand plot again#but like diane?? who is she what is she why is she#4) 13s message to yaz 'flux destroys universe so refugees coming take over earth your task' is.....like.....profoundly......wtf#and seemingly easily fixable: flux destroys universe refugees come to earth find a way to welcome them#get unit involved THAT way. right?#unit as the liaison between humanity and alienity. rebrand#but maybe that doesnt work with the snakeman plot idfk im stupid with plot#5) scenes between 13 and tecteun couldve been so much more. mastervoice: i have Notes. first and least: tecteun shouldve called her Child#damn now i want to do 13 era rewrite again#i really should do that one day i think it would be good for my skills#turn it into a good oldfashioned 13 ep series. still one story tho. but to deepen everything out a bit more#actually getting into all the stuff thats only sort of Touched upon#making swarm and azure not only make sense but also emotionally important and if possible even lore-wise interesting#more abt the division past. doesnt need to be shown in detail if the absence is the point. that doesnt mean there cant be more absence#swarm&azure lore + division lore + vinder&bel lore in separate pieces starting to show a horrible puzzle when put together#yaz and dan in 1900s for 3 full eps or so. time to breathe. more yaz&13 stuff. a lot more 13&yaz stuff#i think that might actually be the heart of it. maybe it should be the heart of it#leaning into that 13-tecteun parallel. the frustration and resentment. build up to the 'so why are you SO interested in him!' stuff#more of their life in the tardis just the two of them without buffer#i kinda want to play with like a lot more body language between them which the camera doesnt allow as we have it#like zoom the fuck out pls
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sometimes I think about how robin hood is canonically a true persona of akechi's and that means that some part of the detective prince act was true. does akechi even know that himself??? or does he believe he can only ever be the black mask???? does he even realize some part of him truly wanted to bring justice and not just hate fueled revenge???
#☢️.txt#it drives me INSANE.#rewatched 2/2 last night and. i think its very interesting that when joker agrees to end maruki's false reality#despite his heartbreak over learning that akechi is probably dead that akechi drops the clipped tone he was using in 3rd sem#actually he has a clipped tone in general? even acting as the detective prince he always has a sort of strain#its REALLY good va on robbie's part to keep certain parts of his speaking patterns consistent while also doing a 180#i still cant get over how he somehow kept akechis insane 'i read philosophy books for fun' speaking pattern#while incorporating his deadpan humor and love of violence in 3rd sem. and making it all /fit/#but anyways that supports my opinion that SOME parts of the detective prince act were extremely real to his personality#sure his preferred thief outfit is the most cringe sentai villain cosplay you could ever imagine#but he does apparently just wear sweaters and leather gloves and nice scarves. by choice.#other supporting evidence is that he does genuinely enjoy jazz and has detailed thoughts on the music theory behind it#but i do think he'd deny it if someone directly pointed it out. hes so used to compartmentalizing everything#i did NOT mean to put a full meta in the tags i cannot stop
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It's the way that one of Crowley's last desperate attempts to convince Aziraphale not to go is to say: 'you can't leave this bookshop'. The same bookshop that Aziraphale said was 'ours', in the same way he said 'I thought we'd carved [this peaceful, fragile existence] out for ourselves'.
It's a place that belongs to them, for all the intrusions in this series from Heaven and Hell. A place where Crowley leaves his glasses on an ornamental horse, where the tangible trail of Aziraphale's existence is scattered among the shelves, where they sit and drink themselves silly. It's the epitome of the two of them being 'us'. And it's as if he's saying to Aziraphale look around, look at everything we've built, there are the books I saved for you in 1941, you said it was ours and how can it be ours if you're not here?
It has Aziraphale's name on the front and Crowley's comfort through the door and not even a fire stopped them from getting it back so how can Aziraphale just walk away?
And in that moment, Crowley doesn't have the courage to say exactly what he's thinking, not after feeling like his entire speech has been brushed over. So, it's you can't leave this bookshop, not you can't leave me.
#rewatched s2 and banging my head against a wall#the tragedy of it all fuck me#i tried to get out coherent thoughts and not just the blood-curdling screams rattling through my brain rn#although i still wanna know why crowley was living in his car#and if he's been doing that for four years??!!!#then again given the sort of mentor relationship he has with shax to begin with i'd guess it was probably pretty recent#anyway something something parallels of aziraphale saying ourselves part and then the we could have been us part#thoughts perhaps for the morning when my brain isn't so tired#good omens 2#good omens#good omens spoilers#lit talks
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the more I replay the game the more I firmly believe alex has cptsd and anxiety, steph has adhd, ryan has autism
#alex is canon ik#and steph having adhd is a pretty understandable headcanon#ryan having autism just seems... right? especially after rewatching alex and ryan's first meeting so many times#that man just has autism idk what else to say#his special interest is birds. when alex asks about it he's excited to share the cd but then realizes it's sort of weird to other people#and then he's a little ashamed#and idk i feel like that's an experience just about every autistic person has had#honestly I could even see steph as having bpd. she reminds me a lot of the people ik with bpd (in a very good way)#but just. alex and steph bonding over struggling with anger and lashing out and strong emotions??? PERFECT#ryan and alex bonding over feeling socially awkward and too scared in social situations? AMAZING!#i can see this in my head so fucking well#life is strange true colors
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Tag Game: Eight Shows to Get to Know Me
Tagged by @agent-p-94 Thanks for the tag! 🥰🥰
agent-p-94's post here
In order of nothing with added details no one asked for because I can't do anything without rambling on forever and I could talk about all these shows for literal hours (ask me to please, I'd love to):
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: My chaotic comfort show. Been watching for years and years and its always good for some stupid laughs at crazy insane horrible people doing the most whack ass shit imaginable. And like so many episodes so like endless watchability.
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency: Watched for the first time in Aug 2020 and while it isn't currently as severe a hyperfixation and obsession as it was when I first watched it, its leveled out to a more stable and steady love and appreciation and like come on, the fandom is great. Ya'll are the best.
In the Flesh: This show is beautiful and heartbreaking and has a permanent place in my heart. I end up rewatching it basically every year just because I just have to. It always makes me cry.
Dead Like Me/Pushing Daisies/Hannibal: I'm just going to combine all three of these Bryan Fuller masterpieces that were all cancelled too soon to be fair. All of them are special in their own way and I adore the unique comedy, the snappy and intelligent dialogue, the irreverent and unique takes on death, and the eccentric and wild characters. (I never finished Wonderfalls, the other main Bryan Fuller show, so its not on the list sorry lol).
The Good Place: Such a good show. I went into it the first watched through (back when it was just the first season out) and had no idea what to expect and it just... I mean if you've seen it you know what the first season puts you through... and what looks like a silly dumb show about dumb bad people in the afterlife becomes this wonderful show about humans learning and growing and changing even after their lives are over. It's about our duty to be kind and understanding to other people, about finding ways to live with the gray parts of morality. A comedy show that talks about ethics and moral philosophy throughout the whole show without it feeling like a big boring slog. And ends in such a beautiful way that makes my heart ache and makes me cry just remembering it.
Community: This show is great. It's hilarious. I love the characters. I love the like theme episodes and dumb comedy and the catch phrases and wacky nonsense. It's just fun and great.
Schitt's Creek: This is a show that's just fun to stick on in the background now that I've rewatched like multiple times and know the whole story. I love seeing the characters grow and learn and get closer to each other. The way that they love each other as a family and end up spreading that love to the town, how they find their places and its just a beautiful, silly, and heartwarming show. (Will never be over the loss of Ted and Alexis. They were so special together.)
Tied for the final place: Parks and Recreation, Merlin, Doctor Who: These are shows that had a major impact on me, but I haven't actually rewatched in a few years. I used to do so many watches of Parks and Rec and I still have a love for the show and Benslie is a true OTP. Merlin is great and I'll rewatch episodes here and there but it can be a bit of a slog getting through entire seasons especially knowing how it all ends (😭). And Doctor Who, I'll say probably was the show that made me end up here (on tumblr). I watched in 2012, freshman year of college not really knowing anything about fandoms or like forum places like this, ended up on Instagram to check out more Doctor Who pics and memes and saw a ton of screenshots of tumblr and then finally gave in to make my own account in 2013. And now it's 10 years later and I'm a disaster. So thanks a lot Doctor Who...
Tagging... uhhhhhhh.... idk @hbdttg @trash-mammall @mowi0205 @definesupposedtobe @lavinialost (but like no pressure just ignore this if you dont wanna) plus anyone else that wants to do it!
#tag game#eight shows#i feel like these are all pretty like current but also the most lastingly impactful shows i like#theres some others ive gotten sporadically obsessed over but like kind of faded out to not being in my brain much#but like i feel like i pretty consistently come back to these ones#and i do love them all#i wish i had a million hours and a million attentions so i could rewatch them all#my brain has been refusing to let me focus on any sort of media content that is not scrolling on my phone#but im pretty sure its becuase work has been a lot recently and i just dont have the energy to focus once i get home#and probably also because my brain knows i need to get my taxes done and im not allowed to do watching things until then#and thats been like.... over a month that ive been intending to come home and finish my taxes and just... havent.#need to do them tomorrow... or i guess today now...
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I've been reading about xiangqi a bit and now I'm even more obsessed with that one video of Jing Yuan
#Obsessed with the fact they made a point of him not leaving the palace#Anyway I was rewatching this because I still find very amusing that you can see when he steals that piece from the board#Which is something that makes I think more sense considering the ways in which you can check and win in this game#It seems pretty fun actually I think I'll try. Maybe with this being different this time I'll be able to convince someone to play with me#No one wants to indulge me when it comes to chess and I don't like playing online#Hmm actually this game seems less unpleasant to play non physically based on aesthetics#With chess I always have to take out a physical board and it's sort of annoying. The pocket chess I carry around is not much better#Yes I think I'll give xiangqi a try. And look for good books about it and its evolution. I hope I find something#It's always so hard to find things worth reading about topics like these. Like with fencing. Still unsure about what I got about that#After rewatching the video again I have half a mind to make gifs to keep track of his moves. I just really find it very amusing#I love how the move and what is happening in the rest of the video work with what we see him do in the actual game#Personality wise yes but strategically#I think I actually rambled about this in a post a few days ago? Oh wait that was in my main blog I think#I don't know why I make sideblogs if I end up reblogging the posts in the main after all. I always do the same thing#I'll stop now but oh I am really so so fond of him. I think I could talk for hours haha#I talk too much#Jing Yuan#Right now it doesn't seem to appear in the general tag for me but I'll check in a bit again#I really don't know how to organise my rambles anymore with this feature#I miss the five tags thing#Now no matter how much I talk it seems the general tag will always find my posts
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oh other thoughts about spiderverse is that I know that Miles is autistic, I don’t have any proof of this, but I’m telling you, I can sense it.
#I mean I have a little proof but I’d have to rewatch both movies to be sure#the biggest thing I’ve got is the shoulder touch tho#which you could go ‘oh he’s an awkward teenage boy around his crush’ and yeah. sure. okay.#but. there’s so much about it that make me go ooohh it’s the autism#it’s the nervousness about socializing sure but more specifically. more specifically.#it’s taking his uncle completely at his word that this is The Correct Response To The Social Cue.#it’s the practicing it. even as they’re joking about it and laughing. he IS practicing!!#(I’ve done that! recognizes the self through the miles morales…)#and even the scene with Gwen itself#the stumbling thru socializing. the feeling that you’re going in slow motion when he does it cause he’s gotta Get It Right#and the way he sort of does it out of nowhere. falling back on the script he’s prepared.#and the just. awkward silence that follows. because he did not figure out what comes next just The Social Cue#I’ve beeen there#this has been a deep reading of the shoulder touch miles has autism good night#spiderverse
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youtube
Stupidly I decided to watch this video just now.
Today would have been my Grandma's birthday, but we lost her last fall and then my Nanna in the winter.
I did not think that a commentary video on Rugrats would make me uncontrollably sob. But I blocked out how sad the Mother's Day episode was. And combining it with Grandma's birthday...
I've spent the last 10 minutes or so doubled over crying.
#i kind of knew some sort of emotional outbreak was incoming soon but i didn't know when#that time ended up being now#because the start of this week was emotional since a show i was working on ended#and for some reason that show ending just felt way more emotional than other shows i've done ending#so many people were crying. but i didn't cry.#we had had a performance on mother's day and our director had lost her mother recently#so she was upset that whole day and so was so much of the cast and crew. i still didn't cry.#while holding a crying friend at the closing party i told another friend that the emotions will hit me later.#i didn't know when but i knew it was going to. at some time.#both my grandmothers had passed while i was working on different productions with this group#and both times i came to the theater hours later and it had been emotionally healing to be there.#this was the first production i worked on after losing both of them so it felt a little weird.#(plus the color purple trailer came out and that book and musical makes me SOB and i refuse to watch the trailer)#(also add in Tina Turner's passing and her birth name being the same as my grandma's)#and basically all of those feelings and having these other theatre experiences mixed up with my losses#combining with it being my grandma's birthday AND i happened to be crocheting when i watched this video#which is a defining skill that Grandma taught me... i was SUCH a mess. i just could not stop crying.#i had mentioned backstage that i can't rewatch moana because i can't handle the storyline anymore.#and just now while in the middle of this emotional explosion i thought of moana and cried HARDER.#this is a good commentary but GOD i did not expect it to trigger all of this.#when i say doubled over i mean literally doubled over and shaking.#anyway. i think i feel better now. i think i needed this crying session.#in sims your sim can have an 'emotional bomb' quirk. they freak out uncontrollably for 30 seconds then they're fine.#i've never really hated that quirk because that is literally me.
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If you aren’t able to fast because of health issues, you can fast from something else other than food! Or have your food be as bland as possible and go without the nice flavors. The purpose is to abstain from something you take for granted and there’s several options for that if it’s something important to you and traditional fasting isn’t an option <3
tysm anon!!! i never really considered that but i think i'll give the spice suggestion a try <333
#* me.#* inbox.#* q: anonymous.#* and verily with hardship comes ease.#( * i normally have a bunch of seasoning in my food anyway so this year it would be defaulting to salt and garlic i suppose#| not that i hate garlic i like it i just don't normally have it by itself#| the experience of growing up in an afro-caribbean household sksksksk#| going to try to cut down on the cursing as well we'll see how that goes#| currently catching up on some scheduled rewatches in which people are... very hot so it is going to be an interesting time methinks#| and as someone living in that grey area between being what could be considered a convert/revert and then not quite#| depending on your standards#| it's been challenging navigating everything but i think i've come to a point where i'm becoming comfortable with it now#| God and i will sort ourselves out and whatever happens happens#| i don't talk about this much on my main but maybe that will change in the future. idk#| anyway ty again anon <333 )
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simultaneously like having a Danny!Q daydream verse and knowing the logistics would trip me up if I tried to put it to paper
#also it would get awkward because I’m not sure I could rewatch London spy#super enjoyed it but like. too sad to put myself through it when I know what’s coming?#also q and Danny having wildly different skill sets#altho conceivably Danny could acquire the skills in Alex’s honor#anyway in my daydream M hired him as a sort of ‘Jesus Christ will you stop getting up in our business’ ploy#probably with an ultimatum that it’s that or Disappear#and he goes fuck it and takes the job#my brain has him rooming with Francis as a mutual protection thing so he is EXTREMELY cagey about his job#however he buries all his records and deletes any files he can get away with relating to himself and Alex#he’s sure M’s got back-ups but it makes him feel better#then skyfall and he’s promoted and Mallory takes over and he’s so sure he’s about to get burned#surprise m did not keep back-ups partially for exactly this reason#eventually Mallory gets curious about the dead ends in the Danny-Alex files and sends a bored Bond out to track down current statuses#this is how bond finds out q’s been sleeping on his sofa with a gun since his promotion#q’s not immediately suspicious tho since he knows bond does this to other ppl too#and bond is wise enough/isn’t sure he has the right conclusion so he doesn’t tell q or Mallory he’s figured it out#idk where it goes from there really but yeah
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Trying to make a post that doesn't sound like ''shut your ass tf up you heartless witless useless pos go sit in the corner and reflect'' but.. i turn mean every two sentences so maybe i'll try to make it in meme form.
#i rewatched Moonlight Chicken and you dont have to like it but you really make an ass out of yourselves#by showing you cant pick on and understand a very deliberate characters arc and inner struggle#i wish i could move on from this but it's become an inside joke of sort a very funny hahaha everyone laughed moment for the community#so i'm stuck with this hurt and resent 👍🏼#internalized homophobia declared joke of the century 🏆🎉 i hope a piano falls on you
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"what was it like having integrity for once" no jerry i. i don't think you have that.
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#the whirly dirly conspiracy. the pissmaster episode. when he tried to manipulate summer into giving him money in the purge episode.#listen i love jerry so much but dude you're NOT a moral paragon quit kidding yourself#rewatching this episode is honestly like yeah this sucked as much as it did the first watch#mainly because jerry and rick honestly are not that different? which is probably why they clash so much#honestly i think it'd be cool if they did another friendshine episode with summer and morty diving into their scrambled minds#and trying to sort out memories and personality traits manually#and when they inevitably get it wrong they have to face some preconceived notions they hold about their father and their granddad#and also this is when they learn about what happened on the whirly dirly#also since their brains are scrambled they have to figure out whose memories are whose and they take the place of whoever's memory it is#so there are two seperate plots running at once where summer's in one memory and morty's in another#and they both have an 'oh god i thought i was in rick/dad's memory but i was actually in dad/rick's memory!!!'#also memory rick is in there somewhere. idk who he'd play off better because on one hand#summer is very much like diane so memory rick (who doesn't remember diane because he's bp's idea of what rick was like as a 35 year old)#might play nicely off her? but on the other hand#a rick who so recently had diane killed would be SO interesting for morty to interact with#idk maybe in this version of events the garage (whose priority would be keeping rick alive) would shove all the brain matter into rick#and keep jerry alive as like. a courtesy. so summer and morty have to dive into the same head so memory rick could split between them#or maybe a fragmented version of memory rick exists in both heads! god a fragmented version of a memory from someone else's head. so fucked
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