#so i could sort that out by rewatching
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early seasons spn homophobia is actually so crazy because they literally do not look gay. hamfisted gay jokes when the characters look straight as hell. "you look the type" they literally don't. is the thing
#spn#there just truly was something in the waters of 2005-2008 in general. everybody just ITCHING to make gay jokes#even if there was really no actual foundational set up for it.#i'm rewatching himym right now which is. well it's many things but it IS interesting. to see#and there are SO many gay jokes that like. don't even make sense???? they're so forced.#like why are y'all so desperate to mention gayness even when it doesn't even suit the situation to make that joke.....#like you didn't need to do all that. you didn't need to even mention it. but you went out of your way to make a little gay joke#wish i could write some sort of thesis on the flirtation society had with gayness in 2005-2008 like. omg i don't even KNOW how to sum it up#obsession with gayness but still have to put on the front of it being Not Desirable but still can't help but mention it at every opportunit#like kids pulling on each other's hair and calling each other names in an effort to get attention#but that was mainstream society + culture @ the concept of being gay
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There's 2 categories of regression headcanons
You fully believe this character is or could be a regressor/cg/flip/something. There's bits in canon that you can point to and say that's why and there's reasons why they would specificially regress or be a caregiver! A headcanon or heartcanon.
For sillies. Feasibly, you could write ANY character to be part of the community! You don't actually think it would fit but you're either imagining it because you're fond of the character and there's just something about it or you're going through all the characters in your head an applying babification to them. I call these "regressorland headcanons" where you prioritise the regression over being true to canon.
Both are great Both are entertaining! But gosh it can be hard to get yourself to answer "do I actually think this would fit or am I just doing this for the sake of it/doing what i think could possibly apply"
#Alexithymia has to be playing a part in this#babbling#im thinking about my downton hcs and i have one biiig brain dump which i might revise or format or neaten when i have the brain space and#rewatch a bit#but some of these characters its like.#i dont think youre a regressor or a caregiver. its out of character. but i totally know what type youd be if you were#cough mary cough#maybe i could make a big post for all the ones i actually believe then invite people to send asks about certain characters that they want t#hear about#maybe i could do a big list? like everyones names and what i think their role would be or a “i could see it but i dont think so”#and then.... add links? to individual character posts as i went down the list?#i originally planed to do one big sort of file but im not sure what the best way to format this is#agere headcanons#agere fandom#petre fandom#petre headcanons
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Oh boy the papers I could write just about the line “Dean, does it bother you how well you fit in here?”
There is so much nuance to Dean’s character in that one line
#I mean#the way Sam perceives him#in the early seasons#the way Dean seeks out#any sort of movie-style life#because he find comfort in media#and in pretending he has any other life except hunting#the way it showcases deans ability to manipulate social systems#like prisons or the police#the way it shows how smart he is#how adaptable he is#there is just so much#i could go on#forvever#spn#supernatural#spn rewatch#turnip talks#dean winchester#sam winchester#folsom prison blues
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funny how this fic started off as an "unserious" idea (not cracky, more so i didn't take it that seriously, it was basically so i could rotate certain characters from my head into a google doc), i didn't expect to care abt it as much as i do now like i have a basic chapter layout for half of the set chapter count, specific scenes prewritten, a planning doc with around five pages thus far, the basics (title, summary, etc), random scenes for it spinning around in my head, and a bit of chapter one and three pages of chapter four written 😭
and i started properly thinking stuff for and working on this fic like...two days ago
it was not supposed to be This Serious hfjkdhf
#(this reminds me of how unserious i initially took picking petals but then it turned into All That lmaoo)#literally shoved some of my fav reboot rarepairs in this lmao#i think the reason why i havent made more progress with the chapter prewriting is bc college is kicking my ass i hardly get free time 😭#and also there arent any transcripts for s2 of the reboot :(#had to do psychology and mental health research for one of the characters for a hc and although i wanna incorporate it im hesitant#bc i dont wanna fuck it up somehow. but also im doing more research in case i think of another idea for them#i might go for it tho. we'll see. if i do its gonna further the angst bc some Baggage goes with it but stuff will wrap up too#so far whenever i think abt them i use that sort of lens anyway#so either i do it fully or aspects are implied via connective factors like environmental surroundings#either way it will involve that specific idea i have thought up to some degree#anyway im halfway thru s2 and taking notes for the fic while watching (i was planning on watching first then rewatching while outlining-#-buuut im too pumped lmao i see scenes and go 'oh imagine if i change it up a little in the fic' etc etc and then i just gotta jot it down)#the elimination order is tearing my hair out tho bc i love the cast but s2's elimination order was Not It i def gotta change that#ugh so much planning 😭 it was NOT this difficult with picking petals#(could be bc tdpi is my fav cast to write for)#sigh. lets see how it goes! and if I'll even publish this anytime soon lmao#kit writes#kit stuff#noahtally-famous#(....also dw ygs i know i rlly gotta finish agtsta's next chapter too-)
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shoutout to those nights where the brain says We Literally Cant Do Anything Even Though We Really Want To <3
#brain: we want to do something!#okay! awesome! lets-#brain: NO DO!! only want#cant scribble. cant write. cant read#and so i sit here alternating between staring at several different screens & also the wall#idk if its brain fog or what#it feels like im in waiting mode....#what am i waiting for!!! i would like to know!!!#absolutely unprompted#stg im gonna end up rewatching good omens while grinding for pier fish on acnh#angry at myself for not doing Literally Anything Else!!#i cant even think about my blorbos bc nothing coherent is going on upstairs#its just vague feelings and images and AUGGGH#i hate nights like this!! can i unsubscribe!!! can i opt out!!!#there are several Important Things i need to get done!! why cant i do them!!!#i wish i had some sort of large fruit i could split open and devour To Cope w this smhhhhh#at least then id be doin something...#for once i have the energy but i cant funnel it into anything. sigh
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the timeline
If you've ever wondered just what the hell I was doing with the fics I was putting out and this timeline I kept talking about, this is what I meant lol
It's actually got quite a few more characters listed out to the right but for the sake of relevancy and size I just kept the first few columns.
The notes are either specific key events or (italicized) published fics. I started making this into an actual timeline sheet just a bit before I dropped out of the fandom entirely so I haven't been able to flesh it out as much as I like, but now that I feel like getting back into stuff I'm sure it will populate pretty quickly lol
Color meanings (majorly as relevant to Techno and his pov):
Maroon - Living in the Nether
Soft Green - Traveling with Phil
Yellow - Living in Hypixel
Blue - SMPE and the Antarctic Empire
Neon Green - DSMP
Red - If an MCM was held that year; If the character participated in an MCM that year
Black - Character is not yet born or is dead
#it's very sparse still i did clean some stuff out just for my sake#also you can't see it here but i apologize anyway to any and all business bay enjoyers including myself#i could not make business bay tommy and dsmp tommy the same person following my vision for the timeline it just could not work#so they are technically different people but characterization wise they would be very reminiscent and at some point techno definitely looks#at him like “is this? is this the same guy?”#he thought he escaped him but no he's found his younger doppelganger#but yes planning on rewatching skyblock and smpe and pw again so i can actually sort out plot points and timelines some more#maybe encourage myself to write who knows#technoblade#my writing#ae boys au#timeline#also ik the potato war is very short but again timeline shenanigans and trying to make things fit logically for character ages#i think realms would have some degree of their own timescales that may not run fully parallel to every other one#especially as they are being run and fueled by different gods with different levels of power and experience#hypixel already has so much control over the death and well-being system in his realm why not time as well
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sometimes I think about how robin hood is canonically a true persona of akechi's and that means that some part of the detective prince act was true. does akechi even know that himself??? or does he believe he can only ever be the black mask???? does he even realize some part of him truly wanted to bring justice and not just hate fueled revenge???
#☢️.txt#it drives me INSANE.#rewatched 2/2 last night and. i think its very interesting that when joker agrees to end maruki's false reality#despite his heartbreak over learning that akechi is probably dead that akechi drops the clipped tone he was using in 3rd sem#actually he has a clipped tone in general? even acting as the detective prince he always has a sort of strain#its REALLY good va on robbie's part to keep certain parts of his speaking patterns consistent while also doing a 180#i still cant get over how he somehow kept akechis insane 'i read philosophy books for fun' speaking pattern#while incorporating his deadpan humor and love of violence in 3rd sem. and making it all /fit/#but anyways that supports my opinion that SOME parts of the detective prince act were extremely real to his personality#sure his preferred thief outfit is the most cringe sentai villain cosplay you could ever imagine#but he does apparently just wear sweaters and leather gloves and nice scarves. by choice.#other supporting evidence is that he does genuinely enjoy jazz and has detailed thoughts on the music theory behind it#but i do think he'd deny it if someone directly pointed it out. hes so used to compartmentalizing everything#i did NOT mean to put a full meta in the tags i cannot stop
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It's the way that one of Crowley's last desperate attempts to convince Aziraphale not to go is to say: 'you can't leave this bookshop'. The same bookshop that Aziraphale said was 'ours', in the same way he said 'I thought we'd carved [this peaceful, fragile existence] out for ourselves'.
It's a place that belongs to them, for all the intrusions in this series from Heaven and Hell. A place where Crowley leaves his glasses on an ornamental horse, where the tangible trail of Aziraphale's existence is scattered among the shelves, where they sit and drink themselves silly. It's the epitome of the two of them being 'us'. And it's as if he's saying to Aziraphale look around, look at everything we've built, there are the books I saved for you in 1941, you said it was ours and how can it be ours if you're not here?
It has Aziraphale's name on the front and Crowley's comfort through the door and not even a fire stopped them from getting it back so how can Aziraphale just walk away?
And in that moment, Crowley doesn't have the courage to say exactly what he's thinking, not after feeling like his entire speech has been brushed over. So, it's you can't leave this bookshop, not you can't leave me.
#rewatched s2 and banging my head against a wall#the tragedy of it all fuck me#i tried to get out coherent thoughts and not just the blood-curdling screams rattling through my brain rn#although i still wanna know why crowley was living in his car#and if he's been doing that for four years??!!!#then again given the sort of mentor relationship he has with shax to begin with i'd guess it was probably pretty recent#anyway something something parallels of aziraphale saying ourselves part and then the we could have been us part#thoughts perhaps for the morning when my brain isn't so tired#good omens 2#good omens#good omens spoilers#lit talks
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the more I replay the game the more I firmly believe alex has cptsd and anxiety, steph has adhd, ryan has autism
#alex is canon ik#and steph having adhd is a pretty understandable headcanon#ryan having autism just seems... right? especially after rewatching alex and ryan's first meeting so many times#that man just has autism idk what else to say#his special interest is birds. when alex asks about it he's excited to share the cd but then realizes it's sort of weird to other people#and then he's a little ashamed#and idk i feel like that's an experience just about every autistic person has had#honestly I could even see steph as having bpd. she reminds me a lot of the people ik with bpd (in a very good way)#but just. alex and steph bonding over struggling with anger and lashing out and strong emotions??? PERFECT#ryan and alex bonding over feeling socially awkward and too scared in social situations? AMAZING!#i can see this in my head so fucking well#life is strange true colors
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Tag Game: Eight Shows to Get to Know Me
Tagged by @agent-p-94 Thanks for the tag! 🥰🥰
agent-p-94's post here
In order of nothing with added details no one asked for because I can't do anything without rambling on forever and I could talk about all these shows for literal hours (ask me to please, I'd love to):
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: My chaotic comfort show. Been watching for years and years and its always good for some stupid laughs at crazy insane horrible people doing the most whack ass shit imaginable. And like so many episodes so like endless watchability.
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency: Watched for the first time in Aug 2020 and while it isn't currently as severe a hyperfixation and obsession as it was when I first watched it, its leveled out to a more stable and steady love and appreciation and like come on, the fandom is great. Ya'll are the best.
In the Flesh: This show is beautiful and heartbreaking and has a permanent place in my heart. I end up rewatching it basically every year just because I just have to. It always makes me cry.
Dead Like Me/Pushing Daisies/Hannibal: I'm just going to combine all three of these Bryan Fuller masterpieces that were all cancelled too soon to be fair. All of them are special in their own way and I adore the unique comedy, the snappy and intelligent dialogue, the irreverent and unique takes on death, and the eccentric and wild characters. (I never finished Wonderfalls, the other main Bryan Fuller show, so its not on the list sorry lol).
The Good Place: Such a good show. I went into it the first watched through (back when it was just the first season out) and had no idea what to expect and it just... I mean if you've seen it you know what the first season puts you through... and what looks like a silly dumb show about dumb bad people in the afterlife becomes this wonderful show about humans learning and growing and changing even after their lives are over. It's about our duty to be kind and understanding to other people, about finding ways to live with the gray parts of morality. A comedy show that talks about ethics and moral philosophy throughout the whole show without it feeling like a big boring slog. And ends in such a beautiful way that makes my heart ache and makes me cry just remembering it.
Community: This show is great. It's hilarious. I love the characters. I love the like theme episodes and dumb comedy and the catch phrases and wacky nonsense. It's just fun and great.
Schitt's Creek: This is a show that's just fun to stick on in the background now that I've rewatched like multiple times and know the whole story. I love seeing the characters grow and learn and get closer to each other. The way that they love each other as a family and end up spreading that love to the town, how they find their places and its just a beautiful, silly, and heartwarming show. (Will never be over the loss of Ted and Alexis. They were so special together.)
Tied for the final place: Parks and Recreation, Merlin, Doctor Who: These are shows that had a major impact on me, but I haven't actually rewatched in a few years. I used to do so many watches of Parks and Rec and I still have a love for the show and Benslie is a true OTP. Merlin is great and I'll rewatch episodes here and there but it can be a bit of a slog getting through entire seasons especially knowing how it all ends (😭). And Doctor Who, I'll say probably was the show that made me end up here (on tumblr). I watched in 2012, freshman year of college not really knowing anything about fandoms or like forum places like this, ended up on Instagram to check out more Doctor Who pics and memes and saw a ton of screenshots of tumblr and then finally gave in to make my own account in 2013. And now it's 10 years later and I'm a disaster. So thanks a lot Doctor Who...
Tagging... uhhhhhhh.... idk @hbdttg @trash-mammall @mowi0205 @definesupposedtobe @lavinialost (but like no pressure just ignore this if you dont wanna) plus anyone else that wants to do it!
#tag game#eight shows#i feel like these are all pretty like current but also the most lastingly impactful shows i like#theres some others ive gotten sporadically obsessed over but like kind of faded out to not being in my brain much#but like i feel like i pretty consistently come back to these ones#and i do love them all#i wish i had a million hours and a million attentions so i could rewatch them all#my brain has been refusing to let me focus on any sort of media content that is not scrolling on my phone#but im pretty sure its becuase work has been a lot recently and i just dont have the energy to focus once i get home#and probably also because my brain knows i need to get my taxes done and im not allowed to do watching things until then#and thats been like.... over a month that ive been intending to come home and finish my taxes and just... havent.#need to do them tomorrow... or i guess today now...
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I've been reading about xiangqi a bit and now I'm even more obsessed with that one video of Jing Yuan
#Obsessed with the fact they made a point of him not leaving the palace#Anyway I was rewatching this because I still find very amusing that you can see when he steals that piece from the board#Which is something that makes I think more sense considering the ways in which you can check and win in this game#It seems pretty fun actually I think I'll try. Maybe with this being different this time I'll be able to convince someone to play with me#No one wants to indulge me when it comes to chess and I don't like playing online#Hmm actually this game seems less unpleasant to play non physically based on aesthetics#With chess I always have to take out a physical board and it's sort of annoying. The pocket chess I carry around is not much better#Yes I think I'll give xiangqi a try. And look for good books about it and its evolution. I hope I find something#It's always so hard to find things worth reading about topics like these. Like with fencing. Still unsure about what I got about that#After rewatching the video again I have half a mind to make gifs to keep track of his moves. I just really find it very amusing#I love how the move and what is happening in the rest of the video work with what we see him do in the actual game#Personality wise yes but strategically#I think I actually rambled about this in a post a few days ago? Oh wait that was in my main blog I think#I don't know why I make sideblogs if I end up reblogging the posts in the main after all. I always do the same thing#I'll stop now but oh I am really so so fond of him. I think I could talk for hours haha#I talk too much#Jing Yuan#Right now it doesn't seem to appear in the general tag for me but I'll check in a bit again#I really don't know how to organise my rambles anymore with this feature#I miss the five tags thing#Now no matter how much I talk it seems the general tag will always find my posts
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oh other thoughts about spiderverse is that I know that Miles is autistic, I don’t have any proof of this, but I’m telling you, I can sense it.
#I mean I have a little proof but I’d have to rewatch both movies to be sure#the biggest thing I’ve got is the shoulder touch tho#which you could go ‘oh he’s an awkward teenage boy around his crush’ and yeah. sure. okay.#but. there’s so much about it that make me go ooohh it’s the autism#it’s the nervousness about socializing sure but more specifically. more specifically.#it’s taking his uncle completely at his word that this is The Correct Response To The Social Cue.#it’s the practicing it. even as they’re joking about it and laughing. he IS practicing!!#(I’ve done that! recognizes the self through the miles morales…)#and even the scene with Gwen itself#the stumbling thru socializing. the feeling that you’re going in slow motion when he does it cause he’s gotta Get It Right#and the way he sort of does it out of nowhere. falling back on the script he’s prepared.#and the just. awkward silence that follows. because he did not figure out what comes next just The Social Cue#I’ve beeen there#this has been a deep reading of the shoulder touch miles has autism good night#spiderverse
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youtube
Stupidly I decided to watch this video just now.
Today would have been my Grandma's birthday, but we lost her last fall and then my Nanna in the winter.
I did not think that a commentary video on Rugrats would make me uncontrollably sob. But I blocked out how sad the Mother's Day episode was. And combining it with Grandma's birthday...
I've spent the last 10 minutes or so doubled over crying.
#i kind of knew some sort of emotional outbreak was incoming soon but i didn't know when#that time ended up being now#because the start of this week was emotional since a show i was working on ended#and for some reason that show ending just felt way more emotional than other shows i've done ending#so many people were crying. but i didn't cry.#we had had a performance on mother's day and our director had lost her mother recently#so she was upset that whole day and so was so much of the cast and crew. i still didn't cry.#while holding a crying friend at the closing party i told another friend that the emotions will hit me later.#i didn't know when but i knew it was going to. at some time.#both my grandmothers had passed while i was working on different productions with this group#and both times i came to the theater hours later and it had been emotionally healing to be there.#this was the first production i worked on after losing both of them so it felt a little weird.#(plus the color purple trailer came out and that book and musical makes me SOB and i refuse to watch the trailer)#(also add in Tina Turner's passing and her birth name being the same as my grandma's)#and basically all of those feelings and having these other theatre experiences mixed up with my losses#combining with it being my grandma's birthday AND i happened to be crocheting when i watched this video#which is a defining skill that Grandma taught me... i was SUCH a mess. i just could not stop crying.#i had mentioned backstage that i can't rewatch moana because i can't handle the storyline anymore.#and just now while in the middle of this emotional explosion i thought of moana and cried HARDER.#this is a good commentary but GOD i did not expect it to trigger all of this.#when i say doubled over i mean literally doubled over and shaking.#anyway. i think i feel better now. i think i needed this crying session.#in sims your sim can have an 'emotional bomb' quirk. they freak out uncontrollably for 30 seconds then they're fine.#i've never really hated that quirk because that is literally me.
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If you aren’t able to fast because of health issues, you can fast from something else other than food! Or have your food be as bland as possible and go without the nice flavors. The purpose is to abstain from something you take for granted and there’s several options for that if it’s something important to you and traditional fasting isn’t an option <3
tysm anon!!! i never really considered that but i think i'll give the spice suggestion a try <333
#* me.#* inbox.#* q: anonymous.#* and verily with hardship comes ease.#( * i normally have a bunch of seasoning in my food anyway so this year it would be defaulting to salt and garlic i suppose#| not that i hate garlic i like it i just don't normally have it by itself#| the experience of growing up in an afro-caribbean household sksksksk#| going to try to cut down on the cursing as well we'll see how that goes#| currently catching up on some scheduled rewatches in which people are... very hot so it is going to be an interesting time methinks#| and as someone living in that grey area between being what could be considered a convert/revert and then not quite#| depending on your standards#| it's been challenging navigating everything but i think i've come to a point where i'm becoming comfortable with it now#| God and i will sort ourselves out and whatever happens happens#| i don't talk about this much on my main but maybe that will change in the future. idk#| anyway ty again anon <333 )
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simultaneously like having a Danny!Q daydream verse and knowing the logistics would trip me up if I tried to put it to paper
#also it would get awkward because I’m not sure I could rewatch London spy#super enjoyed it but like. too sad to put myself through it when I know what’s coming?#also q and Danny having wildly different skill sets#altho conceivably Danny could acquire the skills in Alex’s honor#anyway in my daydream M hired him as a sort of ‘Jesus Christ will you stop getting up in our business’ ploy#probably with an ultimatum that it’s that or Disappear#and he goes fuck it and takes the job#my brain has him rooming with Francis as a mutual protection thing so he is EXTREMELY cagey about his job#however he buries all his records and deletes any files he can get away with relating to himself and Alex#he’s sure M’s got back-ups but it makes him feel better#then skyfall and he’s promoted and Mallory takes over and he’s so sure he’s about to get burned#surprise m did not keep back-ups partially for exactly this reason#eventually Mallory gets curious about the dead ends in the Danny-Alex files and sends a bored Bond out to track down current statuses#this is how bond finds out q’s been sleeping on his sofa with a gun since his promotion#q’s not immediately suspicious tho since he knows bond does this to other ppl too#and bond is wise enough/isn’t sure he has the right conclusion so he doesn’t tell q or Mallory he’s figured it out#idk where it goes from there really but yeah
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swapinverse posting again tell me why crash is like. a rebound for error after he totally fucked things up for swap in askerror. why am i writing these guys in vice.ser's lore to have error compare crash to swap ALL THE TIME and say he's lowkeyBETTER than the dumb berry,,,,, bro,,,,,, swap come get your mans the error version of cross is STEALING HIM. oh shit wait you're in the omega timeline living your best life while your ex friend is sulking over his guilt my bad king keep grinding ‼️
even in another multiverse cross remains the most perfect shippable man im afraid. i already got lowkey crink in this what's next crerror??? i havent made the muse twins meet crash yet but if they did it would be cream and crossmare (but better because melpomene's not a total cunt compared to nightmare)
#eye to eye was added to spotify my mtt xxtha song playlist is COMPLETE and you KNOW ive been listening non stop#next year's spotify wrapped is gonna have those 3 songs at the top TRUST idc if xxtha's not vocaloid we will be dethroning pepoyo for top#im grinding swapinverse through an amazing self reward system that involves eating sweet delicious soft amazing poundcake#this is what happens after you rewatch askerror people. you get filled with a great sense of error love#i have no idea if i'm writing error correctly this is just what im doing after watching askerror#and reading like. 5 different character analysises on tumblr after searching up error sans character analysis#error's so real though listen if i had to choose between error and horror as my realest most relateable characters it would be him#oh yeah i finished vice.ser's digital art 2!!!! yes!!!! now just need to write ref sheets 4 those that are not the mst.....#i dont think vice.ser is savable guys he's too far gone unfortunately#nobody can save him i fear.... his body his mind his self is too fucked up#unlike the mtt vice.ser can never get a happy ending sadly#because like. bros LITERAL ONLY PURPOSE now is to destroy the multiverse#and it's not like he could be convinced not to because he'll just reboot at any sort of major inconvenience to keep himself focused#and because his body is so abstracted and scattered that there's nothing he can do to stop the rebots but thats another thing#golly who knew that being an error and falling into the void would be TERRIBLE...... surely not me........#vice.ser's hivemind soul connecty dream thing for all the undertale continuation aus totally isnt inspired by hi3's part 1 finale noooo wha#dude steals classic varients. controls them to have access to soul. puts them in dream/reliving memory state depending on whats needed#bodies are now empty and funky so he's got a little army while also having the perfect performance stage#see creators! he has all these different aus that you like so much! he can make them play out any story you want!#can you just end it all now and stop creating and destroy everything since clearly manually destroying doesn't work??? PLEASE?????#this is his only purpose now bro can't even kill himself like error can because he's TOO DAMN MESSED UP!!!!!#what a tragic tragic soul. i love him he's so pathetic. grovel at my feet more creation. perhaps i'll cease my creating if you please me#listen if vice.ser just acted out every story i wanted to see of the mtt i would gladly stop creating#but unfortunately he's not real and the muse twins would just stop him anyways#have idea of twins going into the hivemind and having to break sanses out of the memories/dreams while trying not 2 get caught by vice.ser#how do siphon and crash fit into this??? idk crash goes up to vice.ser and is like dont do this pookie.....#and then they all live happily ever after in a poly. errorcrink real#tricule rant
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