#so i cant rly use it on my face when not at home/night + gets into my hair. but its good for other body parts

[vero-niche]

This is what i use! (Bananas not quite for scale) i might look into that exfoliator btw because the sugar scrub i use rn isnt that good

ohhhh, its keve!! they are my #2 brand pick, but i havent tried this serum yet úgyhogy köszi 💞

i use this btw:

its around the same price range, a little higher. revuele is mostly at rossmann and revox is mostly at dm.

[pettydreamz]

tw+tldr//

i've never rly thought of myself being a doormat. but with each of my friends and past friendships too, when i say the stuff i've have allowed to happen and done for them outloud... maybe i am. i only realised later in life that i always had rose tinted glasses with my friends. i be so proud, and loving for them always wanting better for them (bc they deserve the damned best), i try my best to respect everyone's space (this can be debatable lol). i have tried to defend other friends, like i remember some friends saying why are you still friends with her if she still treats you that way, i would've dropped her by now, but i couldnt bc i loved her, she was my friend!

i used to drop off my friends to the bus or tram and end up coming home late. i bought so many of my friends expensive gifts, whenever they needed me or wanted to hang out despite, my schedule i will make time just for them. even now if any of my friends want to hang out, even on a work day - i'll work hard the day before so i can see them the following day. i'll shout(pay/treat) them out for an outing or to eat. i give them advice and it's their own perogative to take it. if they needed me to build them a bookshelf i would do it. if they needed me to stay up all day or night in a hangout, sleepover or call i will. i'll let some friends ghost me n flake on me multiple times. im sorry that it's my fault some could never fully be open with me no matter how hard i tried, that sometimes i do get frustrated about it but hey i cant force them to do anything especially when sometimes they dont listen. they are their own person, who can form their own thoughts n opinion at the end of the day. i let them peer pressure to do all sorts of things ^^;;;

i let friends be entitled to my time n energy bc i fucking love them. like soo many times i've been fucked over by people it just hurts sometimes when it's a friend. and ofc im not saying im perfect bc ew god no. but it sucks sometimes when you dont feel appreciated, valued or loved the same.

like for 2 years back in high school every friday i will hang with my friend after school and wait an hour after her tutoring was done, and pretend im not with her bc her mother didnt like e bc i wore FAKE GLASSES.

i let many of my friends physically, mentally, emotionally and even sexually abuse me but i thought it's ok bc theyre my friends.

i'll never forget when i was like 13/14 i was on a packed tram and a hobo why dry humping me from behind, and so many saw my uncomfortable face but noone saved me, i called who i thought was my best friend at the time after i managed to escape before it lead to worse and all she could say was LMAOOOO or ROFLLL or LMFAOO. ofc i had been sexually harrassed and assaulted many more times but yeah.. i still let myself trust her and all our other friends, who also hurted me.

i let my most of my gfs - guy friends bully me, when they had the chance.

i always put them on a pedestal bc if youre my friend, then you're already amazing!

you're so much better than all the guys who treated me in my life.

all i ever wanted was a true friend experience where i feel like you have my back n is open with me. so yeah when i start reassessing what a friend means... i will unfortunately vent my frustration n insecurities on a vent blog...

sorry if i dont seem trust worthy or whatever but ig im still subconsciously protecting myself as well, bc they themselves also dont make an environment that i feel safe to share, ironically enough. this mind had always tormented me and sorry i never let you in on it.

i dont expect a transactional friendship, where i do something for them and something expect in return. thats not a friendship. but i wish some saw how much i love and would do anything for them or at least try to..

[mossjimi]

[alienaiver]

I am rolling up my sleeves, I am ready! Bet!

I offer to you Kita, Tendou, and for a little spice ✨Tanaka Ryuunosuke✨

im rolling up my sleeves w u, HELL YEA LETS GO LETS GO!!!!

Kita, Tendou and Tanaka headcanons!

Kita Shinsuke

songs on the ipod: this boy loves classical music.. but like, especially if he can relate it to something, so y'kno.. ost's. like merry go round of life from howl's moving castle, concering hobbits from lotr!!! hmc bcos you showed him that movie and concerning hobbits bcos it was the first movie night he experienced with inarizaki (followed by several chaotic more so they could finish them all). it brings him smiles when it plays in the kitchen as he's washing the vegetables or meal prepping

a place they sometimes end up falling asleep - where they're not supposed to: his garden. like he's been at the fields all day and now he's taking a little lunch break with a cold cup of water, enjoying the sun in his face. aaaaand, nap! u have to wake him up gently, tho

the game they'd destroy everyone else at: he's AMAZING at yaahtzee and no one rly gets it,,, ofc that game is a blend of luck and skill but he always wins

the emoticon they'd use most often: :) LOL like. he likes when u and the others send him emoticons but theyre so... complicated

what they act like when they haven't had enough sleep: he's adorable.. like he walks around lazily, t-rex arms as he bumps into stuff and apologizes to the furniture etc. he gets vERY quiet and the first few times its rly concerning to experience (is he mad? why isnt he replying? whys he so quiet?) but hes just. lost lol

preferred hot beverage: green tea! one that is very sweet, much to everyone's surprise

comfort/self care when in a slump: talking w his grandma. like, they play a random cards game as he sorts thru stuff in weird, spacey metaphors that he dont rly get himself - but he feels lighter... fresher, afterwards

what they wanted to be when they grew up: kita's always enjoyed the simple life on the country so it was early he decided he'd inherit the farm but he also had a brief dream of owning a little store.. like a little local farmshop of a kind (he kinda has it on the drawing board still, maybe..... one day he'll invest in it and sell produce from the farm but in a like.. adorable farm-like way.. if u were one to create stuff? maybe sell that too.. hmm...)

favorite kind of weather: overcast! like it's windy and grey, but it's so refreshing

their singing voice: kita's alright, he doesn't do it much, but when he hums in the kitchen, it's actually a religious experience...

what they like to draw/doodle: this is actually a tough one??? like i feel like he likes to do calligraphy. like just on a tiny hobby level, but he likes playing w it!!!

Tendou Satori

songs on the ipod: 99 problems - hugo, numb little bug - em beihold (cant convince me hes not on tiktok all the damn time akjfhjdsfv), joan of arc - little mix!! his taste is very based on mood!!!

a place they sometimes end up falling asleep - where they're not supposed to: his own kitchen.. listen, hes the dude that comes home after a long day and turns on the oven to 100 degrees (celcius), lays on top of the stove and watches tiktoks...and falls asleep FJSFNS (i have a friend who does this regularly its.. concerning lmfao)

the game they'd destroy everyone else at: tekken! and the worst part is that hes not even like. TECHNICALLY good at it. hes just REALLY good at smashing the buttons fast enough to win!! so frustrating

the emoticon they'd use most often: (¬‿¬)... hes always scheming or pretending to be scheming.. just to play w u

what they act like when they haven't had enough sleep: energic.. in like the most manic way possible.. hes so fast and his mind is RUNNING.. exhausting but at some point he tires himself out completely and passes out

preferred hot beverage: hot chocolate! with whipped cream and marshmallows

comfort/self care when in a slump: drawing! or.. doodling.. making little lists and diary-like entries in his "secret" bullet journal (everyone knows abt it.. hes told everyone... showed his pretty pages on insta IOFJSDFNS)

what they wanted to be when they grew up: a dj! he once was at a child's bday party that had like. hired a dj (the dj was said kid's big bro but it looked so official and ProfessionalTM to tendous eyes that he was just. enarmored) he'd play "the sickest beats!"

favorite kind of weather: cold. like. BITING cold, he likes being all wrapped up and walking in it!

their singing voice: he actually sings pretty well but no one knows. he only hums teasing tunes and never really sings in front of anyone

what they like to draw/doodle: ANYTHING and everything! like he has themes in his bujo where he also challenges himself a little - he do like to draw and design cakes

Tanaka Ryounosuke

songs on the ipod: applause - lady gaga, juicy - doja cat and anything beyoncé jfhsjkf. hes a very pop-loving dude.. and if its COOL WOMEN? even better.. some lonely island and that one bromance song from youtube is there as well

a place they sometimes end up falling asleep - where they're not supposed to: this is so embarassing but like. cafés... IHDSJKFDSKC. like he goes there to work or study or whatever to rly motivate him to actually DO IT but then he just. naps on his laptop lmfao

the game they'd destroy everyone else at: counter strike! listen i know very little abt it.. but i feel like he's spent dubious amount of time playing it FSJKFNSE

the emoticon they'd use most often: (⌐■_■) ... it doesnt fit, half the time. but he just think its so fuvkgn cool!!! like "hey babe (⌐■_■) whats for dinner tonight? anything i should buy on the way home? (⌐■_■)" KLEFJSIEFNSRK "hey mom, we're doing fine (⌐■_■)" im choking

what they act like when they haven't had enough sleep: hes so wired.. so sensitive.. he gets in his own head, a lot. have to be reassured a lot, validated.. kissed and loved <3

preferred hot beverage: no one tell noya this... but cafe lattés.. like as he got older he shed a lot of all that fragile and toxic masculinity and so on and hes super aware but like. he and noya had a (somewhat intense) running joke abt cafe lattés in high school and while theyre both moved past that, hes so embarassed abt the fact that he tried one and LOVED it.. like., my dude it is alright <3

comfort/self care when in a slump: cuddles! praise!!!! like he calls u or noya to get praised and reminded how fuckgn awesome he is <3

what they wanted to be when they grew up: a yakuza. listen he once saw a yakuza movie (something like tokyo drifter) and thought that was the coolest shit EVER

favorite kind of weather: summer evenings, like its warm still but its so perfect to sit outside in!!!

their singing voice: listen, if tanaka EVER got singing lessons, he'd sound amazing. but he's never even bothered trying to sing for real, so no one (including himself) knows how much of a gift his voice is <3 he tried rapping once, but he's not fast enough, so he decided music wasn't his path........

what they like to draw/doodle: im so sorry this is so immature but .. dicks.... LKDJKFNV he did it so much in hs that it's sadly become his go-to doodle IOFJESKFS like he doesn't even think abt it anymore thats just what happens if he's on the phone with a pen in hand!!! he always tries to erase the evidence as soon as he realizes IOFJSEF

___

ONCE AGAIN THANKS SO MUCH <3333333 these r so fun oh my goddddd,,, i hope i did them justice!!!

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader

felix x reader | part six of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, slight relation to sex, birth

↬ notes; this took so long lmfao i just had it sitting but i’m finishing up seungmin rnnn 🤓 i’ve been doing requests whew i just have EVERYTHING coming at once

u guys r really surprised 

u two had been in a relationship for four years now so this was inevitable as u two were putting off the pressure of marriage for awhile now

“woah, i’m gonna be a dad!! does this mean u have to call me daddy now?”

0_0

u r s e n s i t i v e

felix first notices this when he gives u a kiss in the morning n ur crying like two seconds after

:((

“why are you crying??!”

“you just leave so early and i miss you!!”

felix skips the day, not rly caring he just wants to cuddle u 🥺

speaking of cuddling u two r so cuddly together now

u guys just cant get enough of each other

ur at practice less often just bc of media and he thinks the house is safer for u

so the boys come over a ton more to the dorm just bc they wanna see u and spend time with u

he is so cute, whenever he sees you he’ll instantly be on his knees to kiss your baby bump and leave u with a light kiss on ur lips

u guys go to ur scan at the beginning of the second trimester

its hush hush and ofc felix has u with the best doctor hes heard of 

his hands are clammy asf, hes smiling and so dazed while he stares at the ultrasound

“look at that!! baby a and baby b!!”

felix is like, 

“oh im gonna pass out”

now he gets these corny ass JOKES like

“wow lix has really GOOD swimmers!!!”

“felix knows his way around the bedroom!!!!!!!!”

poor baby jeongin :( they are POLLUTING HIS MIND

he doesnt but this boy is scared shitless now, two babies?? thats a lot to handle

he likes to shop, a lot. 

for some reason everything is dog themed, puppies on everything and he’ll come home with bags of baby stuff everyday

lix is just so in love with your body

sweaters, t-shirts, hoodies, anything he owns, he 100% wants you to wear it

he might be a little excited at the thought of u in his clothes, it was usual but now u pregnant, he was a little MORE excited

abnormally this guy worships your body 100% 

he loves how easily you can just unravel, to the point of tears and have u begging for him to stop

ok lemme not ill start writing shit type smut anyways chile yes lix loves u A LOT in and out of the bedroom

mmm he’ll always be brainstorming names

aeygo for the babies 🥺

tons of kisses he has plenty to go around

he acquires a new skill called cooking 😣

ur his new favorite taste tester

he’ll read books for them both

tons of research on expecting twins and what to do

“hey, okay.. so i bought a pregnancy pillow, and like, i wanna use it?”

felix has this smirk, holding the huge pillow that is supposed to be a maternity one, but he much prefers himself using it as a regular pillow

he actually goes public with this, knowing that the fans adored u after being his girlfriend for so long nd u soon became a favorite for them

some shit like ‘stays meet your new members’ 😣

this guy has a knack for painting, his newest canvas is your large baby bump, doodling little flowers n hearts or animals on it, sometimes painting characters on it or whatever it may be

u two have this rly cute vlive together which consists of him painting ur baby bump, plenty of fun while he asked stays to tell him what to draw on ur bump :v

“ooh!! a ladybug!!”

he posts the finished project in nice high quality on their official instagram, showing off the many things he had painted

the dreaded bed rest comes into play

u are now nearing seven months, which meant that u should be experiencing labor or maybe labor pains soon

he takes his paternal leave, now indulging in ice-cream and gummy bears with u, rather than working out and drinking nasty smoothies

guess who has that sympathy weight 

(jk he just uses it as an excuse so he can just give up on his diet)

sleep all day

sleep all night

u two are honestly so tired for WHATEVER reason

lix is there to be a cuddle bug, pulling ur back close to his body, ur legs entwined and his hand on top of ur own that was on ur bump

its rly cute just try and picture it for a moment

u guys r trying everything to hurry and get to the end of this seemingly forever pregnancy

he’ll def buy two yoga balls instead of just one for u and he’ll bounce on them with u

who cares ab trying to hurry up y’all are having so much fun regardless of the fact u have to pee every ten minutes

u both forget the thought of it and just go with the flow

making a deal to go with the names for whomever u claimed aka baby a or baby b

i see ur guys timing to be during the summer so its miserable in ur house

its hot n stuffy

u two r just lounging n u both have popsicles, then ur just like

“oh! oh.”

it was a steady gush of fluid between ur legs and that was when the nervousness set in

u two just look at each-other in shock

“oh! we’re having a baby- um.. wow!”

he is abnormally good at keeping calm, helping u keep ur breathing steady and getting everything together 

felix is a pro.

u guys r kinda chilling in the parking lot just quiet and sort of nervous that the next time ur walking out of there you both will have not one, but two babies

“i don’t know if i’m ready yet.”

felix groans, grabbing ur hand

“ur right, ur more than ready. look at us!! parents of two in at least the next twenty-four hours!!” 

his hands r around u in a second to help u up and there to help u walk in

u two honestly decide to play games on ur phone to kill time

felix crawls into ur bed, seeing as how u looked extremely lonely, letting his arms and legs wrap around u n he’s just playing with ur hair

its honestly adorable

u two are really tired for whatever reason, falling asleep like this before u would be consumed in the late nights of being parents

these nurses wake u both up and are just like

“let’s see if we’re ready to meet ur babies!!”

felix is kinda scared but nonetheless he’ll grab ur hand and hold onto it with a smile

10cm woo!

if he wasn’t hyping u up before he is hyping u up right now

ur somewhat laughing and crying while in pain

yall r so weird

felix is there to wipe ur face with the wet cloth, or to give u a sip of water, rly whatever u need he is on it

poor baby just wants to be of help

“here’s baby a! it’s a girl!”

u two have at least a moment with her, taking in her small appearance, felix holding her out for u to see

abruptly cut off by baby b needing to make an appearance

“i don’t wanna do this again.”

“it’s alright, shh. we’re going to have two babies, two perfect ones. we have one little girl, let’s get ready for the next one, yeah? our two babies, you’re doing so good.”

they take away ur little girl while felix does what he already did beforehand

“here’s your second one!! we have a pair of sisters!”

u and felix are so overjoyed at this news, literally sobbing, u two r a mess

both r brought over to u, felix taking in the fact he’s a father of two girls, such small girls

ur both smiley while u kiss them n cuddle them, getting the nurse to take a picture of u two

ur obviously tired, felix emotionally worn out but having the brightest smiles on ur faces while u hold onto ur pair of newborn girls

he’s so proud, he’s the definition of a proud father

lix is holding onto one and he comes over to you, the other one cooing

“that’s it, my three girls.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[eitelle]

I posted 1,251 times in 2021

674 posts created (54%)

577 posts reblogged (46%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.9 posts.

I added 505 tags in 2021

#moot swag - 108 posts

#elle works the night shift - 69 posts

#🪐 regular 🍵 - 50 posts

#haikyuu!! - 50 posts

#lovely regulars ☕️ - 48 posts

#haikyu x reader - 44 posts

#haikyu oneshots - 39 posts

#haikyu fanfiction - 37 posts

#barista lizzy - 32 posts

#eitelle writes - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#and then i hallucinated that suga put his hands on my cheeks looked me dead in the eyes and said “no bc i still need you

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

— seeing black when you stand up

↳ with rei (hehe), haru, and makoto

heres my first free! iwatobi swim club fic sjshusdh i hope yall enjoy!! (yes this is based iff myself and yes this is purely selfish.)

genre: (bit of hurt)comfort n crack, established relationshups n concerned boyfies 🥺

pairing(s): rei ryūgazaki x gn!reader, makoto tachibana x gn!reader, and haruka nanase x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of like losing vision, feeling dizzy, headaches, and falling in makotos! pls let me know if im missing one :)

wc: 1134

a/n: lets see how badly i can screw this up besties🥵🥵

See the full post

137 notes • Posted 2021-07-16 04:00:01 GMT

#4

Pretty setter squad hcs pt 2

Includes: akaashi, atsumu Miya, and suga

Warnings: none just fluff

Note: idrk atsumu that much but I think I’ve read enough fanfics to get a good enough idea. Pls reblog and comment and like it rly helps me out :)

Pairings (sorta): TIMESKIP akaashi keji x Gn!reader, atsumu Miya x gn!reader, and sugawara koushi x gn!reader

A/n: sorry for the accidental hiatus I just like completely forgot I had to do this 💀💀 anyways can someone explain how to use tags 😀😀😀 ALSO WTF IS WRONG W ME IM WILLINGLY BY CHOICE LEARNING INTRO TO BIO ON KHAN ACADEMY AND IM LOWKEY LIKING IT????? 😀🧍🏻‍♀️ I- anyways on w the headcanons. Oh also idk why but I cant/don’t know how to make like a separation photo thingy but I’ll figure it out ig

See the full post

157 notes • Posted 2021-01-20 22:17:41 GMT

#3

streamer kenma hours 😄

prompt (??): kenma (@/kodzuken) is a popular streamer (ur his s/o 😏) and you do the TikTok trend where you make him cuddle you while he’s playing games

pairings: kenma kozume x gn!reader (gender neutral) but put in any of your preferred pronouns as well if you’d like

TW: a bit of cursing but for the most part none. this is pretty much fluff of a dream I had 💀

ayo this is my first (fanfic?) checkk ‼️😤

A/N: how do I use this app 😀 ok so like idk how tumblr works bc I’m not smart enough so imma treat it like wattpad only I get to shitpost. Wait fuck am I allowed to curse. Fuck. Damn. Wait shit. I mean- ok never mind. Um anyways... this is like a dream I had and I wanted to put it into words ig? Idk 😭 but anyways yeah. oh also put in requests if u want bc I have like no creativity 😔

After a long hard day at your job, a few minutes before you were done for the day a customer at the store you worked at decided to spill coffee all over you. Now of course this wasn’t their fault in the slightest but on top of the stress from your job it was too much and you let yourself off of work a few minutes early. You checked your notifications and realized your boyfriend, kenma kozume (@/kodzuken) and popular game streamer was streaming and wouldn’t be able to hold you when you got home.

You screamed in frustration in your car as you drove away, angry at the bad luck you’ve been facing today. You check to see if kenma maybe got off stream early and give him a call, but it rings a couple times and goes straight to voicemail. You accept defeat and continue driving, until out of nowhere it starts pouring rain outside.

“Why goddamnit! Of all days I had to not bring an umbrella today was the day,” you mutter as you put up your windshield wipers, hoping the rain would go away by the time you got home. It didn’t. After you finally pull up to your flat in Tokyo, you run, taking all of your stuff through the pouring rain making sure to lock your car. Once you hop into the elevator and wait until it stops at your level (sry if this isn’t accurate lmao I’m not rich 💀) you try to pat yourself dry.

“Y/n, get it together,” you say shivering, hoping that kenmas stream wouldn’t see you as you haven’t been shown on camera yet. Not that your boyfriend is ashamed of you, no, quite the opposite. He knows that some of his fans can be a little, overwhelming to say the least, and would rather keep you away from death threats and bullying online. The elevator finally dings and stops at your flat where you collect your stuff and get into the place you call home. Unable to tell kenma you’re home like you normally do you shoot him a quick text:

To: future husband ‼️😏

hey bub im home... just thought I should let you know. love you <//3

delivered at 21:17pm

After heading over to your shared bedroom and changing into one of his hoodies and sweats, you plop down on the couch and check your phone, seeing a video on TikTok. Apparently it’s a trend to go over and cuddle your s/o while they’re gaming and your bf is a streamer/gamer so you think you should try it on him. Remembering that he has a copy of his stream and you can ask for the footage later, you decide to act now, think later. Surges of adrenaline hitting you in waves, your legs decide to have a mind of their own as you make your way to his gaming room.

Doing a quick knock so that he isn’t so suprised and so you won’t chicken out, you tell him, “bub, I’m coming in ok?” in the most innocent tone you can muster, and open his door, finding him staring at you. No, gaping at you as you make your way over to him looking at his paused video game and the stream chat moving so fast you can only make out a couple words. Some of which being “s/o, lying, sibling, and banana.” Wait maybe that last one wasn’t quite right but you get the point and are shocked at the effect you have. He moved his microphone away from his mouth although its a futile attempt as the high quality technology of his headset picks up the conversation just as easily.

“Kitten what are you doing here? I thought you wouldn’t be home for a couple more minutes and you know how I feel about your face being shown on cams,” the last part sounding very possesive but protective on your end.

Realizing that although you tell yourself it’s just for a TikTok, you didn’t need to lie when giving him a reason and you really do want cuddles. “I’m sorry bub I was just having a bad day at work so I came home a little early and I wanted cuddles. You didn’t respond to my text and I didn’t know you were streaming,” you tell him giving him a look that you know he can’t refuse. As he stares at you dumbfounded, you can’t help laugh a little at the in shock way he looks.

“Fine,” he grits out with no malice and you can tell it didn’t take much to get him to agree. As he moves his microphone back to where it was, you climb onto his lap, straddling his waist, as you wrap your arms around the nape of his neck. “Everyone, meet my... s/o y/n,” he tells the stream while chat goes crazy and you start to get comfy. “We’ve been dating for 3 years now and I haven’t shown their face or revealed I had a s/o because I didn’t want them to receive hate. That being said, now that you all know who they are, please treat them with respect and kindness. They make me really happy,” he says looking at you lovingly as you turn your head to meet his gaze at his words. You blush and turn away, busying yourself with putting his hair back up into a low bun and familiarizing yourself with his steady heartbeat as you cuddle him, slowly falling asleep in his lap.

Kenmas pov: (ahaha bet you weren’t expecting that one)

Now that the stream had ended and I finished my game, winning of course, I was getting sleepy as well, y/n already fast asleep in my lap before I even got 15 kills.

I pick her up watching her snore slightly and drool a little thinking they were the most precious thing ever. As I walk over to our room, careful not to wake them, I murmur subconsciously, “I love you so much baby” not expecting them to repeat the same thing to me in their sleep. When I finally reach our room I lay them down carefully, making sure they wouldn’t wake up as I went to brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

After I finished with hygiene (that’s important kids 😀) and changed into pajamas, I tiptoed back to our bed tucking us both in and cuddling with them, already half asleep.

Fan watching the stream pov: (why am I making so many povs? The world will never know.)

OMG. OMG. THE KODZUKEN JUST ANNOUNCED TO ME AND THE OTHER 2.5 MILLION PEOPLE ON HIS STREAM THAT HE HAS A S/O. Theyre gorgeous of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less, and the way they look at each other- wow. I quickly open Twitter and not to my suprise everyone is freaking out over kodzukens ethereal s/o (thats you babe 😉).

158 notes • Posted 2021-01-03 04:16:43 GMT

#2

PICKLES

— now working at a sandwich shop, you think an old love that you cant stop thinking about is finally slipping your mind, until he walks right in your shops door. old flames resurfacing and new sparks forming, the million dollar question is will he give you his side pickles?

pairing(s): iwaoi, matsukawa issei x fem sandwich shop worker!reader, kiyotana

genre: crack, fluff, childhood!friends to lovers

warnings: haikyuu timeskip spoilers and some photos will be used, but yn is still you, just pretend youre inserting yourself in the photo!

status: discontinued :(

See the full post

276 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 06:06:39 GMT

#1

dadzawa 🥺

this is so self indulgent im sorry 😭

ALSO YALL CAN MF SEND IN REQUESTS GRR BARK BARK YOU HAVE TO STOP MY SELF INDULGENCY HELP-

this is like a fic but headcanon format???? idk???? i just??? wrote??????? help???????

secret relationship w ur hr teacher prohero dad check 😊🔫

pairings: dad!aizawa x daughter!reader

warnings: overprotective dad 🤨🤨 and strong language

bte the bullets are really irrelevent i just thought itd be nice to know for refrence for future fics since its what my quirk is in my shifting script and its also a go to superpower of mine

so background on you: ur his love child but the mom ✨ a b a n d o n e d ✨ you

yall habe a great relationship,,, very open

u got into UA as top of recomemdations

no one knows you and mr. aizawa (who is ur hr teacher) are actually related

he doesnt go easy on you (thats prob why they cant tell dumb fuck) in class

ur quirk is that based off how happy or sad/strong your emotions are mean how much you can control light or darkness (its soley based off emotions, not like how much light is where you are)

you can make weapons of light and dark from your quirk or pull a tokoyami and have light or dark surround you, making you have basically armour which elevates yiur strength

if someone gets hit by ur quirk they become paralyzed w too many emotions

ur go to weapon is either balls of light/dark or light/dark whips

sad emotions=dark, happy emotions=light

you have ur dads hair and his eye bags skjsjd

ur hero name is eclipse and ur light whip is named solar, while ur dark whip is named lunar

ur hero suit is like this (ac: ON-K on deviantart) but black and white 😩

yes most of the guys are attracted to you, yes you are friends w everyone, yes mr. aizawa hates the first part

SJJSDH SORRY THIS WAS LONG BUT THIS IS JUST AN IDEA IVE HAD FOR THE LONGEST MF TIME EVER

See the full post

364 notes • Posted 2021-02-16 09:39:14 GMT

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[taechaos]

Idea series oc sneaking Tae in the house after he had big fight with his father about something (your choice if it's smutty or fluff or angsty) with a peek of a vurberable Tae? Honestly i think he would change the topic as soon as he started it and prob with sex.

Anyway I'm really interest in their family dynamic since I remember don't know if it was in part one or two that you mention they have really religious parents? And seeing how harsh their dad is with Taehyung it have me wondering how is his relationship with the mother and ocs with both parents, despite everything the seem really distant from their kids, maybe thats why Tae and YN find comfort in each other. OC is the first real bond Tae made with someone so maybe that's the reason of his fear of being replaced and his obsession with her, and ocs mother probably don't pay that much attention to her so that's why even after the incident she still want him to be there. At this point I'm just rambling I'm sorry. And this ask is all over the place, started with a request and ended questioning characters life 💀💀. Sorry hehe.

when i read this yesterday i was literally blown away by this like hOLY shit your analysis is so in-depth at first i was like damn do my characters have more than oNE DIMENSION?? WHICH IS RLY FLATTERING BUT I THINK ITS JUST UR WORDS THAT MADE ME SOUND SMART 💀💀💀 the ending is chef's kiss tho made me bust a lung SHFJJD thank you so much for taking the time to write this its honestly so fucking amazing. hopefully u can see more of their family dynamic in this drabble :)

Rays of sunlight slither through the cracks in the blinds of the living room, allowing Taehyung's father enough light to scan the newspaper he holds in his hand, with the musical, happy chirping of mockingbirds filling in the silence. All of these beautiful signs of nature and peaceful rotation of the earth makes Taehyung tense up even more.

The moment he got back home from buying drugs, his father greeted him in monotone with a, "would you sit with me for a moment?" and he hasn't spoken since. The zipperbag in his pocket crinkles every time he shifts in his seat, making him cringe momentarily before he starts nervously fidgeting again.

This is so awkward and yet equivalent to hearing: we need to talk. God, why is he so silent?

Clearing his throat, Taehyung stands just as his father flips a page with a lick of his thumb. "I'm going to my room really quick."

"No."

"Oh." When will his step-mother return? She's his only hope as he sits down while avoiding looking at his father, whose gaze is set on the black and white printed pages.

It's only a minute later when he talks without diverting his gaze.

"Your sister is in her room, researching her major to get a headstart on a typical syllabus."

"Smart," he comments with disinterest and nibbles on his upper lip.

"Taehyung, how was your attendance in college?" he folds the newspaper and curiously peeks at his son, who is doing a poor job at hiding his nerves.

"It was alright–"

"Lying is a sin, son," his movements are aristocratic when he leans his chin on his fist. "Don't lie."

"I'm not," he stammers and his eyes flicker, "it was bad at the beginning of the year, but I fixed it."

His father pinches the bridge of nose where his frames lie. "I love your sister, Taehyung," he sighs and takes off his glasses, "I want her to do well. I've given up on you, but her? She can accomplish great things if you're not there to influence her. You're a bad influence. Are you following me?"

Taehyung nods dumbly with a racing heart before registering his words and shaking his head. "What?" he blurts. "I used to help her with her homework all the time–"

"You were home once every month."

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't see her," he coldly says. That's not entirely accurate, but it is true that he saw you more than he saw his parents before he started living here again. For you.

His father is taken aback, offended as he scoffs, "You avoided me and your mother, and yet have the face to stay in our home?" He stands up and passes the coffee table that was Taehyung's only barrier to hover over him with distance. "I expected so much more from you, but you can't even do the bare minimum. An adult without a stable job, respectable girlfriend, and embarrassing grades. I'm ashamed to have raised such a boy, for I can't even call you a man."

Taehyung abruptly stands but he continues, "If you can't even pay rent, go back to that landfill you came from."

"I have to pay rent to live with my family?" He's livid and his hands shake by his sides; they're taking you away from him because what? He isn't the son they wanted him to be?

"You've made it clear that the only thing keeping you here is my daughter," he blindly points at the closed door of your room, "and you will have to try much harder to see her again. Get your life together, and you can come back."

Taehyung's face is heated with anger from the injustice. "What the fuck?! This is such bullshit; you're kicking me out?"

His father frowns at his language, growling, "Taehyung! I will not let you drag her down that path with you. When you stop destroying everything you touch, I'll gladly let you live here."

Destroy? He hasn't done any harm to anyone—especially not you. He knows he's self-destructive, but it doesn't extend to his environment. If he fails, it's his failure, but his father takes it personally instead of encouraging him to do better.

The importance of reputation and success in this family enrages him; he's aware that he's not much of an affectionate person either, but a little love wouldn't hurt to witness in the household.

Instead of defending himself or speaking his mind, he obliges bitterly.

"You need to get laid," are his last words before he slams the door and opens the zipper bag to pop a pill. Ecstasy isn't so fun when you're not around, but he can use the distraction. It's been a bad day.

He flips off a stray cat idling around the garden before casually leaving the property.

—————

Studying isn't fun for you, never has been, never will be. Though you hate every second of it, it does give you something to do to make time pass faster. You've been tutoring yourself about things you'll learn sooner or later anyway, but you guess it doesn't hurt to have to study less when the time comes.

You check the time. It's approaching night at 9 PM, and your father wouldn't protest against a break now, hopefully. He only suggested that you should start studying, but you know what his suggestions really mean.

Do it, or get shamed into doing it with subtle glances.

As if that isn't enough, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day. He wasn't exactly giving you a choice, which irks you.

But that's done and over with, and there's a more pressing matter at hand: where is Taehyung? You heard bits and pieces of the argument, but you couldn't get the whole scoop. You worry he's going to go back to his old habits of never being here, rarely seeing you. He would've been hanging out with you six hours ago out of routine... It can't just be you being clingy. Something happened.

You: are you coming home tonight?

The response takes a few minutes.

taehyung: nop

taehyung: but i am coming to ur room

taehyung: cuz ik u cant sleep without me 😖

You: actually the opposite but ok lol

You: when are you coming

taehyung: whenever u want uwu

You: uwu...?

You: just come before it gets too late

—————

So that was a lie. It's 1 AM and still no word from Taehyung. Okay, maybe you're just being clingy now, but it's unlike him not to be clingy. Maybe he wanted to cool off for a long time after his tak with your step-dad, or simply wanted to hang out with his friends after spending all of his time with you.

That makes sense. What doesn't is the slide of your window and shuffling of your curtains. You instantly sit up in your bed and clutch your blanket closer. You watch a silhouette enter your room as you pick up your limp, your tense muscles relaxing only when you recognize the intruder. You put down the lamp with a click of your tongue, ignoring the relief in your pounding heart.

"Hey," he stupidly grins at you. He looks disheveled, clothes untucked and wrinkled, and from the little light you have, you can see his redshot eyes.

"There's also the door," you remark sassily. "Are you um... high?"

He shrugs and crawls in your bed, dismissive as usual. You both make an effort to keep your voices quiet.

"I talked to mom earlier," you ease into the discussion until he butts in.

"That's great."

You roll your eyes and prop an elbow to look down at him. His head lies on his hands while staring at you, mood strangely upbeat. He's definitely high.

"She was a little sad about something, and I know it involves you. I heard you talking to–" You're interrupted with a lingering peck, a little rough in its force but not unwelcomed.

"I've missed kissing you. Shouldn't you be asleep, by the way?"

Recovering from the unexpected attack, you reply, "It's not that late. I don't have to wake up early."

"You shouldn't ruin your sleep schedule," he tucks a hair strand behind your ear without taking his eyes off of you. "Staying up is hard to stop once you start."

"Yeah, you're a great example," you joke with a quiet giggle. Whispering with him feels intimate in a heart fluttering way. His heart pangs with a feeling he can't put a finger on. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb, I'm really curious. What happened with dad?"

"A lot of things happen with dad," he shrugs, "sometimes we play catch–"

"Taehyung," you give him a pointed look, and he giggles.

"You're right, he'd never play catch with me." He groans as he stretches in your bed before trapping you with his arms on either side of you in one motion. You don't know what he's trying to do, but you watch him above you in amusement. "No offence, but when is your mom not sad when my dad is around?" he laughs with a huff.

"That's rude, Tae," you remark seriously, "she's happy when you're around."

Taehyung's smile falters like yours, his happy guise crumbling when he says, "Are you?"

"Pfft," you roll your eyes, "What do you think? I was up waiting for you."

Ah. That's not a very good influence.

"I'm here now," he whispers, "go to sleep. It's okay, I won't do anything, I know you worked hard today."

You agree with a yawn and nod. But even in your sleepy state, you can read the room—Taehyung is especially attentive of his tone and volume aside from being so tense. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in and on ecstasy," he falls back on his former spot, "I can't not be alright."

"Taehyung, I haven't seen you all day–"

"Yeah, because I didn't want to be here," he looks at you dead in the eye, "and I don't want you to be here."

You blink rapidly, slightly shaking your head in confusion, "What are you saying?"

"Move in with me."

He's met with cold silence, so he persuades persistently, "Don't you want to get away from here? You'll have so much more freedom with me, and I can help you with your assignments and everything. It'll be perfect."

"I— do you... Where?" Taehyung is high and he doesn't know what he's saying is what you believe because this is so out of the blue, so irrational, but he describes it like it's utopia; you are not completely against the idea.

"I have enough money from drug dealing to rent an apartment, and you can tell dad that you want to move out to be like an adult or whatever, that you have a stable job, without mentioning me," he rambles, and his dilated pupils are more noticeable up close; it slightly puts you off.

"Wh-what about mom?"

He scoffs, "If she wants out, she can get her second divorce. Don't worry about them; after all, they're apparently the only real adults here," he relates back to not being worthy of being called a man. You shift away from him little by little. "Just trust me."

The phrase is triggering for you, a reminder of the time you were tricked into trusting him moments before your trauma. "We'll talk about this when you're sober," you meekly say, avoiding eye contact.

A wicked smile grows on his face, "I can't wait, princess."

[ghostlypawn]

any favorite abh lines/lyrics?

well since u asked so nicely and im procrastinating...

lyrics (the lines are in the rb i accidentally posted it before adding them on): (also before we start i did do an edit of fave lines from each song here)

“something whispers of something gone”

“something on the shelves hold something of ourselves”

“what happens if i cant get out of wonderland?”

“cant stories go where stories will?”

“so why can’t we linger and dream?”

“time is chasing me still”

“draws you to his bluish room” (this wordplay is 10/10)

“oh the wind is wonderful... when it greets the rain”

“the sigh of the wind and the dim blue stars” (idk why just the imagery of that)

“i wont let them move you on; play you like some ghostly pawn”

“we will rise beyond whats gone, slow the night and hold the dawn”

“leave a world they got so wrong, there’s a sky where we belong”

“let the sorrow dance”

“dance and give yourself to nothing else but those long eyes”

“waltz and waltz all night, ignore the tide”

“will god save the queen?” (manage ur flamingo is just kinda There when it comes to lyrics but i like the existential nature of the question about will it only be the common folk to survive this war if u get me?)

“wander through the world as if it were your dream”

“time to get back above the ground, not that they know you’re not around”

“im sick to death” (love how the meaning changes from being rly annoyed about her outlook to him just having to outright tell her that hes sick and dying)

steptomyces griseus into tuberculosis (i love this line bc it rly homes in how nonsense medical terms can sound [espc to alice] that if u dont know this is the bacteria that causes tuberculosis then it could defo just be made up for the song like brillig braelig uffiness)

“then one day the sorrow came and you moved into that”

“and then callai the jabber came and made his room your mind and jabber-ached and jabber-played, all jabber all the time” (OKAY but the fact the jabberwocky turns around n tells alice that shes the monster in this situation bc shes been turning alfreds pain into a game for her selfish reasons and she keeps jabbering on about wonderland instead of just listening to alfred and his suffering,, underrated verse)

“he’s not some diagnosis”

*insert the entirety of some things fall away*

“and no there is no reason; some things fall away”

“the heavens are forever; we only stay a night, we fill out rooms with children and then put out the light”

“sorrow calls with the evening with the wind beneath your door”

“shadows pause at the window meet their gaze, their grief is yours” (im not too sure but i like to see this as there are grieving people all around us and you’ll see that everyone is grieving something but we move on and one day will only pause to reflect on that situation that caused it before moving away from it once again?)

“bereavement is the key to survival”

“love is brief and time’s a thief, climb into your shell of grief”

“will i still sleep in some part of you mind; in some way, i may never know”

“in my dreams you’ll be calling, calling with longing, nothing there haunting out love”

“when there’s so much we thought we would be”

“left behind in another room in your head”

“no one wins at cards or plays like the ought to”

“the world no longer fits and still you’re stuck in it”

“the story never told: how wonderland gets old”

“first your high and now you’re highness” (jfkjkfdjkfd)

“you’re no one without alice”

“my highness is your low”

“growing up is not a crime”

“im gonna speak what you wont speak; how you fear the strong and mock the weak”

*insert the entirety of afternoon bc every line hits me where it hurts*

“a little talk could hold me for a little while”

“the book of night is closing for the child”

“you mustered all the wonder from a room of hurt”

“the heart will not remember what it will not name”

“the caterpillar gazes on a world of older faces but the butterflies go floating all the same”

“and who knew what to do with all i felt for you in the song of the afternoon”

“nothing comes or goes without a shadow”

“let the sorrow goes, it’s half the battle”

“there are rooms you leave behind; other wounds of other times”

“down the hole you go are there you are” (i cry at the idea of this book being this unending connection between them and she can visit him anytime she wants by going down the hole im actually crying this line KILLS me for no reason)

[willykappymarnsmatts]

Wrong Direction: Chapter 2 (K. Kapanen)

@moriellymakesmesoft

“I just got off the phone with Max,” it's been two weeks since I've moved into Will’s place, my stuff still in boxes all over the apartment.

“Oh?’ William responds, tossing me a smoothie from the fridge as we get ready to go to practice. I still go to sleep in tears and wake up with puffy eyes, but Willy makes me feel like everythings going to be okay, if not today then someday soon. “How is he?”

“Good,” I tell him, scratching at the back of my neck, refusing to look up at him knowing what comes next. “He asked me to come stay with him. Well, he didn't ask. He's kinda forcing me.”

“Oh,” Will says. He turns around and faces me with a look on his face of a mix of betrayal and hurt, and it makes me want to burst into tears. “Um, well, are you gonna go?”

“I have to, babe. He's my brother, and he said that if I don't come by myself he'll pack my things for me the next time he comes to Toronto.” I feel bad, but I do miss Max.

Willy just frowns at me. “When are you leaving?”

“Uh, tomorrow. He said he'd buy me a plane ticket.”

“To Montreal?! I could drive you!”

“I know, its okay. He’s the one paying so I don't really care honestly. Don't we have to get going?’

“Yeah,” he giggles, glancing at the watch on his wrist.

On our way to the arena, I take deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart and shaking hands. Seeing Kasperi this often still hurts just as bad as seeing him in bed with that girl. But the whole situation has given me a lot of inspiration for a new song that i've been working on, bouncing ideas off of Will day and night.

He notices my agitation and reaches over to grab my hand. “After this, you won't ever have to see him or me ever again.”

“Hey, don't say that,” I pout. “I'll be back and i'll move back in with you, if you let me, in a couple months. I just need a break from Toronto. Everything I know is laced with memories of him. I can't even enjoy your games because he's there.”

Will nods without looking away from the road. “You're always welcome at my place. We’re all still really pissed at him, you know. Mitch hasn't spoken to him since that night, and you know how Mitch is. Auston doesn't even look at him, and Zach’s only talking to him because he feels bad that everyone is making every effort to ignore him but me. The whole fucking team loves you, Y/N. Oh, and Derms took a slapshot at his ankle the other night and he had to sit out for an entire period.”

My eyes are brimmed with tears and I have to look up at the ceiling of the car to keep them from spilling over. “Can you let the guys know i'm leaving? I'll obviously talk to them, but I don't want to be the one to break the news to them.”

Will nods. “Of course.” he smiles at me then and looks away from the road for a split second to wipe away a tear.

•••

I sit in the third row to watch the boys’ practice and try to continue writing, but the yelling and pucks hitting the boards constantly is distracting, so eventually I give up and watch them skate. During a water break, I catch myself watching Kasperi. All he does is take a few deep breaths, but watching him like this, as if nothing ever happened, makes my heart shatter. Before I can look away, he looks up at me and I watch his entire face fall. He stares at me and I stare back. He studies me, as if to memorize me. I can't look away, and he refuses to skate away. He continues forward, until he's at the boards and we’re a few feet away from each other. Neither of us can pretend we weren't looking at each other. He stops, and so does my heart. And we just watch each other. Just stare. My heart is breaking with every moment that passes, and my stomach hurts, because he was my everything.

A whistle blows. Kasperi whips his head around. The sounds of the rink come back into my ears, and we’re both taken out of the world where we were the only two people who existed. He skates away, glancing back at me once before never looking back at me again.

•••

“Y/N,” Willy says as soon as I answer his facetime call. I've been in Montreal with Max for about two months and I released my song about a week ago. Wills is driving back from practice, which is when he gives me a rundown on how “incredible” he was and how he's gonna kick ass at the next game. But today he looks anything but confident, his forehead a mass of worry lines and his mouth turned down into a frown.

“Y/N, your song is saved on my playlist, and I got the aux this morning. After practice, it came on. Most of us were singing, and I glanced at Kap, and he was just sitting there in his stall. He wasn't moving. Just staring straight ahead.”

I sit up. “Woah, slow down. I thought Kasperi and I were finished.” When I moved away, after the day at the rink, Will told me that Kasperi stopped seeming to care. He was out with a different girl every two days, bringing random girls home every day of the weekend. It still hurts, but it hurt more to realize that our entire relationship meant nothing to him. But if Will is telling the truth, which I don't doubt he is, it makes everything a whole lot more confusing.

“I thought so too, but listen. I think that it was your voice at first, Y/N. He hasn't heard your voice in months. And then he heard the rest of the song, he listened without moving, and as soon as it ended he got up, in just his slides and shorts, and fucking left the room.”

I'm silent, letting Will talk. “The rest of us didn't know what to do, so I tried to follow him. I found him in the weights room, and he was in tears.” Will flicks on the turn signal and turns onto his street, then glances at his phone to see if he should continue the story. I nod at him, holding my breath to keep from breaking down at the thought of Kasperi.

“I went to him and sat with him, and he just cried. I haven't seen him cry since he thought I was getting promoted to the bigs and he wasn't. But he was sobbing. So I sat with him, and eventually he calmed down enough to choke out that he misses you. He told me the girls were a front, and that he hasn't been able to sleep ever since that night. And, Y/N, I dont think he's lying. His eyes always have huge bags under them and he's so shaky. So I asked him why he did it, but he didn't have an answer. He said he missed you and he felt like you didn't love him anymore because you were always out doing stuff for your album, but I told him that was bullshit and he said he knew it. He told me he can't breathe without, and that he hates that he hurt you. So I told him to talk to you, and he said he'd try to text you later today.”

“Damn,” I respond, not sure how to feel. “I want to love him again, but I don't know if I can trust him.”

“You don't have to. He knows he hurt you, and that he has to work to get you back, but I am asking you to please just try to talk to him, because fuck, Y/N, if there’s a such thing as soulmates, it’s you guys. You're both in so much pain. Take your time, keep your walls up, but just talk to him.”

“Okay. Okay, fine.”

“Thank you, beautiful best friend. I'm home now, so I'll call you back in a couple hours?”

“Yeah, that’s cool. See ya.”

He ends the call and I'm left in silence. Then my phone dings with a text notification in my hand, and my heart picks up speed. I know exactly who it is, and I don't want to look at it, not right away, so I throw it across the couch with a pillow on top of it.

I put my head in my hands and try to slow my speeding heart by taking a few deep breaths. “Fuck!” I yell, then silently thank Max for going out a few hours ago. I wipe my face with my hands and sit straight up.

I stare at the pillow my phone is sitting under, knowing without ever checking that there is a text from Kasperi Kapanen waiting for me. My phone dings again and my heart jumps. I stand up and rip my phone from under the pillow.

‘wrong direction huh’

‘i miss u’

I cover my mouth with my hand and my eyes brim with tears. I sit back slowly onto the couch and read over the messages two, three, four more times before unlocking my phone and tapping on the text bar.

‘Dang, how'd u know it was abt u?’

I smile slightly as I type out the message and hold my breath when I hit send. I don't have to wait even a second before the three bubbles come up on the screen.

‘no idea’

‘ig im just tht good’

I laugh and type out another response.

‘Imyt. How r u?’

I bite my lip when the text bubbles come up, and a few seconds later his response comes.

‘could be better tbh. can’t sleep @ the apt nymore so i spend the nites b4 games @ 1 of the guys places’

My breath catches at the words. Then another message pops up.

‘im so sry 4 everything’

I bite my lip and close my eyes, taking a breath.

‘Thx. I havent stopped thinking abt u’

‘me neither’

I take another deep breath. Kasperi was my favourite person, my person, for so long. It's scary how easily we can fall back into simple, comfortable conversation, as if nothing ever happened. So I decide to be straight up and honest with him, and if he really does still care about me, he’ll understand.

‘U broke me, Kasperi. I never thought tht u would hurt me, and u literally broke me. I miss u more than nything and it hurts so bad to b without u, but seeing u in bed with another girl, tht broke me. It felt like our whole relationship was built on lies, and tht u never actually cared abt me. So yeah, i cant stop thinking abt u, and i want to b able to love you again, but u broke my trust and idk if ill ever trust u like i did before.’

I hit send and feel like I'm going to be sick. Everything I type I’ve told Will and all the other guys, but after the day I left the apartment, I never spoke to Kasperi about anything. The three bubbles come up on the screen and I hold my breath, then they disappear. They come up and disappear a couple more times, until a message finally pops up on the screen.

‘i wish i could take back everything i ever did 2 hurt u, but ik its not tht ez. i rly do want 2 fix this, tho. would u b down to ft l8r?’

I can't breathe, but I manage to type out a response without screaming.

‘Sure. Just text me when ur ready’

I take a deep breath and click my phone off. I'm about to get up when my phone dings again. I glance at the message and it makes my chest feel like it's going to explode.

‘ok i will <3’

I smile down at the screen and go to plug in my phone so it's charged when Kasperi wants to call. I really don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again, but the least I can do is give him a chance to apologize. He's already broken me so badly, even if he lets me down again nothing will compare to the amount of hurt I’ve already felt.

[shytiff]

Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[viiolences]

     (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ     🍓 🌼 🍒     *     here  .  .  .  have  some  cute  emojis  to  pretend  tumblr  isn’t  an  absolute  hell  hole  rn  !!  my  name  is  vic  (  she  /  her  )  ,  i’m  nineteen  &  will  be  here  every  step  of  the  way  to  keysmash  in  ur  ims  .  .  .  please  bear  w/  me  .  im  tragically  unprepared  but  hit  the  lil  heart  &  i’ll  message  u  for  plots  !!

*     basics     ,  

name  :  viola  jane  soo  .

korean  name  :  soo  bora  .

age  :  twenty  four  .

gender  :  cis  female  .

sexuality  :  bisexual  .

occupation  :  director  /  screenwriter  .

height  :  160  cm  .

fc  :  im  nayeon  .

*     digging     deeper     ,

a  world  watched  cautiously  through  a  tinted  lens  ,  never  to  see  its  true  colors  ;  a  crashing  wave  of  reality  coming  in  to  soothe  a  hand  that’s  finally  been  let  go  of  ;  the  kiss  you  leave  on  a  stranger’s  lips  ,   begging  them  to  love  you  ,  at  least  until  sunrise  .

the  soos  live  in  the  prettiest  house  on  their  street  ,  oozing  a  studied  elegance  their  youngest  daughter  could  never  live  up  to  :  viola  was  clumsy  and  sweet  ,  would  cling  to  anyone  who’d  hold  her  hand  ,  forever  hungry  for  affection  .  but  neglected  children  don’t  wear  designer  dresses  ,  they  don’t  take  piano  lessons  every  saturday  ,  they  don’t  smile  this  bright  ---------  barely  saw  her  parents  growing  up  ,  left  at  the  mercy  of  her  siblings  ,  all  preoccupied  with  their  own  lives  ,  little  viola  would  spend  most  of  her  days  at  her  friends’  houses  ,  finding  a  shred  of  parental  love  in  their  families  .  

almost  too  soft  for  her  own  good  ,  walked  through  life  with  a  toothy  smile  ,  desperate  to  believe  there  was  good  in  everyone  ;  was  easy  to  take  advantage  of  ,  got  picked  on  by  kids  tougher  and  stronger  than  her  .  but  she  only  grew  kinder  ,  never  learned  to  fight  for  herself  ,  always  turned  the  other  cheek  .  .  .  then  ran  home  crying  ,  only  to  be  welcomed  by  silence  .  silence  became  screaming  matches  when  she  was  in  middle  school  ,  her  parents’  marriage  falling  apart  with  her  older  siblings  off  to  college  .  viola’s  mother  used  her  as  a  shield  ,  the  reason  for  her  father  to  stay  .  she  became  collateral  damage  in  a  vicious  war  ,  her  own  living  room  the  battle  ground  .

started  recording  with  her  father’s  old  vhs  camera  to  distance  herself  from  the  world  around  her  :  it  always  seemed  more  beautiful  through  a  lens  ,  a  sweeter  place  .  by  high  school  she  was  already  putting  together  short  films  &  constantly  recording  her  friends  ,  too  .  it  was  the  best  possible  escape  ,  a  souvenir  she  could  keep  forever  .  hid  her  own  feelings  behind  the  words  of  characters  she  created  in  her  head  ,  every  story  to  this  day  extremely  personal  .  

could  have  easily  been  seen  as  the  baby  of  the  group  ,  extremely  dependent  on  her  friends  and  always  cautious  of  her  surroundings  .  she  was  the  one  always  tugging  at  someone’s  sleeve  ,  the  designated  driver  ,  the  person  who  spent  most  of  the  party  playing  with  the  host’s  dog  .  she  was  cheerful  and  loyal  ,  but  clingy  and  often  insecure  ,  always  needed  reminding  that  she’s  loved  .  always  had  a  crush  on  someone  ,  almost  addicted  to  pining  over  someone  who  doesn’t  care  for  her  in  the  slightest  .  her  sexuality  was  causing  her  a  lot  of  confusion  ,  too  ,  often  compensating  her  newfound  attraction  to  women  by  trying  way  too  hard  to  get  attention  from  boys  .

her  parents  absolutely  hated  her  decision  to  study  film  ,  her  mother  going  as  far  as  burning  all  of  viola’s  tapes  shortly  before  she  left  for  college  :  years  upon  years  of  footage  ,  only  some  of  it  stored  digitally  ,  gone  in  the  blink  of  an  eye  .  something  broke  in  viola  then  and  she  realized  something  she’s  been  trying  to  avoid  her  entire  life  :  that  she  hates  her  mother  ,  that  she  never  felt  loved  by  her  ,  that  she  survived  years  upon  years  of  quiet  abuse  without  ever  saying  a  word  .  a  hopeless  romantic  grew  thicker  skin  overnight  ,  came  to  los  angeles  without  a  smile  on  her  face  but  with  a  drive  ,  a  smothering  need  to  prove  to  her  family  that  she’s  worth  so  much  more  than  they  think  .

cut  all  ties  with  her  mother  and  hasn’t  been  back  home  since  ,  sees  her  father  and  siblings  sometimes  when  they’re  in  california  for  bussiness  .  film  school  was  so  good  for  her  ,  though  :  she  was  finally  free  of  her  mother’s  watchful  eyes  ,  didn’t  have  to  meet  her  expectations  .  her  student  film  (  still  life  )  got  really  good  reviews  and  painted  her  as  a  director  to  watch  .  her  debut  (  honeysuckle  )  premiered  at  sundance  (  a  lot  of  it  thanks  to  her  proffessors’  connections  but  shh  )  and  was  very  well  received  .  her  third  movie  is  set  to  premiere  later  in  the  year  !!  and  she’s  excited  !!  she  loves  what  she  does  !!

coming  back  home  for  the  first  time  in  six  years  is  not  a  pleasant  experience  for  viola  ,  all  her  good  memories  of  this  place  burned  with  the  tapes  ,  everything  a  reminder  of  how  weak  she  used  to  be  .  she’s  almost  embarrassed  of  it  ,  that  tenderness  she  once  had  .  

*     with  bella     ,

everybody  knew  viola  was  completely  in  love  with  bella  ,  perhaps  even  before  viola  realized  it  herself  .  still  clueless  ,  only  wrapping  her  head  around  the  fact  she  likes  girls  ,  viola  was  completely  in  awe  of  the  other  girl  ,  who  i  imagine  loved  the  attention  ,  perhaps  even  flirted  with  her  sometimes  just  to  see  her  blush  .  they  were  never  extremely  close  ,  but  viola  created  an  image  of  bella  in  her  mind  that  she  held  onto  for  months  .

*     extras     ,

was  always  running  around  with  a  camera  when  they  were  younger  !!  like  every  little  outing  was  documented  ??  we  love  a  vlogger

has  a  samoyed  puppy  named  cherry  whom  she  loves  and  she  brought  him  along  bc  she  couldnt  bear  to  leave  him  alone  in  la

literally  renting  out  an  airbnb  bc  she  refuses  to  stay  with  her  parents

loves  baking  but  she’s  really  bad  at  it  but  it  gets  her  so  excited  nd  she’ll  give  her  friends  cupcakes  please  dont  tell  her  they  suck  !!!

nails  always  painted  rly  nicely  she  goes  to  a  salon  to  do  cute  nail  art  once  a  month

deep  down  still  a  hopeless  romantic  dnt  let  her  fool  u

*     wcs     ,

lifelong  best  friend  /  love  interest  :  on  the  main  .

someone  she  wasn’t  close  with  before  but  met  again  at  uni  and  they  hit  it  off

a  bad  influence  when  they  were  younger

FIRST  KISS

 ffhdjgjg  puppy  love  please

a  sibling  figure

someone  whose  parents  noticed  she  was  alone  a  lot  when  she  was  a  kid  and  kind  of  took  her  in  whenever  she  needed  a  place  to  go  after  school

someone  who  remembers  how  soft  she  was  but  they  fell  out  of  touch  nd  they  just  cant  understand  why  she’s  suddenly , , , so  cold

one  of  her  thousands  of  crushes

um  , ,,  , met  again  like  three  years  after  graduation  in  a  bar  somewhere , , ,  a  one  night  stand  please

exes  but  like  break  my  heart  please

anything  u  might  have  in  mind !!!

[hobidreams]

RAINNNN it was such a treat to come home after spending my weekend at work!! I must preface this by saying THANK YOU for giving an outlet and something to look forward to at the end of a long day!! Ok so I had originally speculated that mc was gonna get caught by Yoongi, leading her to comfort him, ergo leading to them fucking. PUT A WIG AND RED NOSE ON ME GUESS I WAS WRONG haha I love that you added the bit about mc missing the queen, really reminds us that she grew up as part of the palace

ILY FOR YOUR LONG ASKS 💕💕💕💕 ur the best omg

with the royal family. Makes me wonder if this were another time, she would’ve tried to get her and yoongi together ;) I love the way you write mc’s longing, how she wonders if yoongi has been having proper meals. So poetic that as she’s pining for him, he’s coming to her for sexual release. Part of me feels that deep down he FEELS for her too, otherwise he wouldn’t be seeking HER company on such an emotionally charged day. “the incredibly subtle scent of plum blossoms begins to swirl around in

the air”- is that his mom’s perfume?? But BRO I damn near dropped my phone on my face when he says “you must know the only thing a man and woman can do alone at night?” and her reaction to him preparing to leave her to be with a concubine?? Aw my hart my sol AND HE DOESN’T EVEN KISS HER… you know what… he’s never kissed her on the mouth now that I think about it. I can’t believe she’s only touched herself 3 times… ever. “more out of medical curiosity than anything” SHE’S SUCH A NERD, I LOVE HER

and yes I know she’s a virgin, but I low key think he may be too?? “the first few thrusts are slightly awkward. Just his hips bumping against your ass as he tries to find his footing” like either this is also his first time or he’s only had sex a few other times haha ALSO yoongi got a “jeonha” kink or whaaa like it’s some kind of Joseon era “daddy” kink I love the way you write their first time, gives us a good glimpse of how their sexual relationship has changed/not changed over the past months

Like he doesn’t make her cum this time, but it’s clear from the first drabble, he makes her pleasure more of a priority. And he never finishes inside her (pull out game must be strong). I’m guessing he doesn’t wanna put a baby in her?? YET?? I feel like the more I read, the more questions I have??? The more interested in this series I become?? I have a lot of thoughts rn. BRB puttin my wig and clown nose back on as I try to guess what happens next!! Sending all my love

ok when you sent the first ask in about their first time, i didn’t wanna correct you 😂😂 im sorry hahaha. to make up for it, i will say that i wouldn’t count Yoongi’s mom out of the running yet ;) after all, we are going back in time... BUT ANYWAY... yes, it was meant to be mom’s perfume, as hinted at in drabble five! 😔 OC rly went NO U CANT LEAVE AFSDJLKAFD but like i would have reacted in the same damn way. we are WEAK. haha omg i love that you love her so much pls 😭💕 she’s such a sweetheart (& yes, a total nerd. who studies that much? hahaha). your questions & observations are all SUPER valid & very insightful. too insightful. i’m not gonna confirm or deny anything ;) ;) ;) sorry to leave you with even more questions hehehehe. thank you so much for reading & this absolutely wonderful comment ahhhh. my heart has grown two sizes bigger. ur the best. please take care 💖💖💖💖

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

[caandlelit]

this is a post dedicated to my favorite todoroki natsuo bc he deserves so much

none of his siblings have ever called him natsuo

he’s natsu

its only fuyumi when shes in a scolding mood or touya when hes mad at natsu for not giving him the wii controller even though nATSUO MOM SAID ITS MY TURN TO PLAY WITH THE WII-

and endeavor calls him natsuo

but he would hate it if endeavore even thought for a second that hes fucking allowed to call him by a nickname after all he has fucking done

god he hates endeavor

out of all of the todoroki siblings, while touya is the one who was abused by him and hated him so much he left, and shouto is the one who has been hurt the most and cut off from his siblings, and fuyumi is the one who tries to push her feelings aside because shes so desperate for some pathetic semblance of normalcy for her family,

natsuo is the one who is the most bitter

because of endeavor, his big sister buckles under the pressure of basically being a teen mom for shouto, his big brother had something so fucking terrible happen to him that it still keeps natsu up at night, his little brother barely interacts with him and when he does its stilted and awkward because shouto isn't used to having a family

and his mom is in a mental hospital and he barely gets to see her

and when he does hes always crying

and hes the only one who even mentions touya

shouto probably only remembers him as a heartbreakingly bittersweet memory

fuyumi cant stand mentioning him because she was his twin and feels like her other half is gone 

which is why she better be the one to bring touya back or istg 

and natsu

is the one who is plain fucking angry

that his big brother is gone

and he blames endeavore entirely 

and loudly

and rightly so

while he 

is another endless source of disappointment for endeavor

because he has a water quirk

not ice, not fire

nope

natsu has a mix of his parents quirks

and its actually not powerful

he cant move oceans or create tsunamis

but he doesn't care what his dickhead dad thinks

hes a fuckin’ waterbender and hes fuckin’ proud of his quirk

right, when they first watched avatar when endvore wasn't home

natsu literally let out a screech of excitement

and touya was yelling out loud in shocked happiness “oH MY GOD NATSU UR IN THIS SHOW!!” and fuyumi was jumping up and down like !!

uhh he plays volleyball??

im not sure if this is canon actually

but well it was in one of those first page of the most kudos filter dabihawks fics and I watch haikyuu so im shoving myself onto the volleyball player natsu bandwagon

hes a wing spiker and hes the ace for his team!!

(for the people who dont watch hq, a spiker is the one who jumps and yeets the ball over the net and an ace is the best third year spiker)

hes rly good 

as you all are painfully aware

hes the sporty sibling

but hes not gay

*someone* are you gay

*touya wipes away a tear in the bg while natsu clenches his teeth and says manfully* no tragically I am heterosexual

so he likes sports and hes buff and drinks protein shakes and wakes up early and does push ups and makes breakfast for himself and fuyumi when hes at home 

hes college aged?? 

hes a fratboy

on campus he exclusively wears snapbacks and tanktops with lame slogans on them

its why he and hawks hit it off so well !!

he calls him hawks-bro

big bro touya who is also an ex villain brings home his bf who is the number one hero a month after the end of endthevore and while fuyumi is skeptical of this hawks guy

only bc shes the elder sister!! so shes the one who the shovel talk duty falls upon 

shes legally obliged to hate hawks its in the elder sibling rulebook

natsu thinks hes the shit

hawks enters their house and looks at natsu and natsu looks at him and they point at each other like in the clone spiderman meme

they are wearing the same snapback and the same hoodie and have the same expression on their faces

#its love babey

dabi just stands there staring at them yelling about naruto and questioning his decisions in life so far and fuyumi passes by and hands him a shot glass and a ‘same’

shouto thinks hawks is super cool but he wont admit it over his dead body

natsu chugs milk straight from the carton

the first time he did it

fuyumi was at the kitchen counter and choked on her toast 

made a strangled sound

he looked at her straight in the eye and chugged it all down

she stares for five seconds then points at the door

‘out. get out of my house’

hes terrified that hes too much like endeavor

its his biggest fear to end up like him

and when hes angry he feels like him

and stops yelling and breaks down sobbing

he looks in the mirror and stares at his mothers eyes in his fathers face

he stares at his fathers nose

his fathers face shape

his fathers build

and wants to scream

but he knows that hes never gonna be like him

hes going to be a better person

he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn’t

shoutout to natsu. he deserves it

[partynthem]

to expand on my nonsense concert notes from last night (it’s long lmao ya girl has a lot of thoughts)

- i would like to start by just thanking lauren @enthusiasm-paraphernalia for existing

- the keyboard alex plays on stage is literally three feet tall. i’m genuinely not joking it is so fucking short. the actual smallest keyboard in the world for the world’s tiniest man.

- i still deeply miss alex’s hair but his shaved head isn’t that bad in person. it’s alright. his hair is objectively better and he doesn’t look like himself but whatever it’s fine i’m fine

- ahhhh during the view from the afternoon it was just the four OG monkeys on stage and i was and still am crying abt it

- alex announced teddy picker by just shouting ‘TEDDY PICKER!’ into the microphone. thanks. and then during the song when it got to the solo he played maybe three notes and then threw his arms around a bit leading me to believe he forgot how to play the solo

- we were fucking up in arms when they didn’t transition to crying lightning after teddy picker tho like the three of us were just shouting at them as if they could hear us and as if they gave a single shit abt our opinion of their setlists

- during knee socks alex started reaching over from where he was standing to the keyboard and my eyes are bad so i thought he was trying to grab tom’s mic but he was actually just reaching for his sunglasses that he’d put on the keyboard earlier skhjfsdgfd but he was in such a weird position cos the keyboard was slightly out of his reach so he was bending and twisting and it was so extra to witness

- ok they played view from the afternoon, teddy picker, do me a favour, and knee socks all in a row and those are legit my top four am songs so i was Fuckin Sweating it was so much all at once

- also during do me a favour he mimed the ‘well her shoes were untied’ line by fucking stomping????? like i understood he was demonstrating untied laces but he lit just stomped

- before wyocmwyh he was saying nonsense and i may have misheard but i SWEAR he said the words ‘washy going down on a sunday nighhhttttt’ . washy..... alex no

- during wyocmwyh alex was rly feelin it and miming shit like there was no tomorrow and at the ‘get through the gears’ line 1. he said shift through the gears and 2. he mimed shifting gears in a car and it was like watching him try to swim during the line in one point perspective. he doesn’t know how to drive or swim i guess. can he do anything??? anyways. during one of the choruses after he sang ‘why’d you only call me when you’re high?’ he pointedly said matt’s name while staring him down implying matt only calls him when he’s high. casual.

- alex was just yelling so many random phrases during/between songs (which he didn’t do as much the first night he seemed to be having way more fun last night) and after wyocmwyh he said ‘getting to know youuuuuuuu’ and during pretty visitors during the break in the song he said ‘what are you on about?’ and like. what am I on about??? you’re the one that fucking wrote pretty visitors alex what are YOU on about

- THEY PLAYED AMERICAN SPORTS AND LAUREN AND I HAD THE MOST DRAMATIC PHYSICAL REACTION TO IT STARTING WE BOTH JUMPED AS THOUGH WE’D BEEN ELECTROCUTED AND LOST OUR DAMN MINDS I STILL CANT BELIEVE THEY DID IT

- alex screamed so much during brianstorm and not his usual ‘YEAHHHH’ but more ‘AHHHHHHHHHH’ and so many times. like five different times in that 2 min 53 second song

- matt is just so fucking talented and good at what he does and is so mesmerizing to watch i am forever impressed by him

- alex kept taking his sunglasses off and then putting them back on jkhfssd it happened so many times and was so dramatic he just could not make up his fucking mind on whether or not he wanted to be wearing them

- the vox was having issues during do i wanna know and someone (dave i think) came out on stage during the song and was fiddling w it and alex was still trying to play and then once the guitar was fixed he said ‘it’s back!’ and then continued on w the song

- ok.. alex had this fucking TOWEL on stage to keep wiping his sweaty ass face with and every time he would lauren and i would just lose our shit and one time when he went to wipe his face it was the most aggressive use of a towel i’ve ever seen. my skin hurt just watching him attack his face like that

- also alex kept going to drink water on stage maybe every three min i guess the dc swamp humidity was rly getting to him

- towards the middle/end of the set they hadn’t done 505 yet so i was starting to believe they had come to their senses and were gonna close w it but they didn’t and i was mad when it started playing as like the 14th song or whatever

- OH AND AT THE ‘HANDS AROUND MY NECK’ LINE DURING 505 HE PUT HIS FUCKING HAND AROUND HIS NECK

- they did that cool transition between 505 and tbhc again!!!

- he did so much weird shit during pretty visitors i can’t even pick one or five things to mention cos it was just four full min of nonstop antics

- at the start of the second verse of i bet you look good on the dancefloor HE JUST CACKLED INTO THE MICROPHONE AND DIDN’T SING THE FIRST TWO LINES COS HE WAS TOO BUSY LAUGHING

- also during dancefloor poor sweet jamie his guitar was Fucked Up TM and eventually he just kinda sat down on the side and the song was weird without him

- alex randomly stood up from the piano during star treatment and walked around and his mic cord got caught on something (typical) and he softly went ‘shit’ at the end of a line jshdhsjd and then he just squatted at the front of the stage during the verse in the middle of the song. you know. as one does

- also during star treatment they had that ridiculous disco cube thing on stage but the light was rly pretty and there was a moment alex was in the exact right spot and he looked so beautiful. even without hair

- at the end of r u mine before they did the chorus again he would not put his arms down i swear to god they were just floating up in the air for maybe an entire two minutes. i worried his hands were losing circulation

- they (especially alex) took so much time to walk off stage and they all seemed so into it all night and were interacting a ton and i’m just. emotional

- i had to leave early after the show cos my sister arrived to pick me up (my dumbass asked her to come get me so i wouldnt have to spend $40 on an uber home lmao @ me playing myself) so i didn’t get to wait to try and meet them or wait and hang out more which was :( but i love arctic monkeys more than anything and this was truly the best weekend of my life and i’m so so so so so happy even tho i’m sad it’s over i’m so happy i got to have this and i will forever treasure the last 48 hours of my life

💖🖤💖🖤💖🖤💖🖤💖