#so i always push myself to make more
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Hi soup!
I absolutely love your art and style and literally check every hour to see if you’ve updated.
I’ve been trying to do some art myself and I’d like to know what procreate brushes you use and the steps you take when drawing as tips.
Kind regards Anon
(P.S I love your solangelo art the best :DD )
on procreate i most often use a custom amongus png brush and more recently the funny haha brush available for free on gumroad iirc
i am the most satisfied with my drawings when i do not think. its very rare state of mind but when i do not fixate on detail or accuracy it is very fun. recently ive been practicing with line of action website since i can both practice anatomy (since i mainly draw people) and refine my line confidence, line weight, and style within representational work. i have been fond of crayola markers recently because very bold colors and varying line thickness and no room for re-doing, its just getting thoughts onto paper
ive been in a rut with drawing fictional characters, since its constructing a face and body from nothing basically, more dependent on a particular art style convention rather than real-life observable features, and so figure and environment studies are a good treatment to either get out of that or to satisfy the urge to draw without the pressure of a bad creation
#i might just make an faq with the amongus brush imported#i think this is the third or fourth time someone has asked on tumblr#practice is so huge though#mediocre and frequent practice is better than extraordinary and rare practice#use up your sketchbook pages#make them look ugly#for me im proud of about 1/10 of all my drawings#so i always push myself to make more#im proud of like 50-70% of what i post on here#and what i post on here is like 20% of everything i draw#do what makes you happy#soup ask
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shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do#someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing#oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives#agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl#pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats#coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined#travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol#but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv#and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me#well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3
#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists#chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it#i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim#like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations#but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know#like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness#and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty#and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete#and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better#but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard#and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel#one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing#but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping#so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands#but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing#fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht#but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time#SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach#sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)
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Greetings from purgatory. I came back with some more art! @japeneselunchtimerush's headcanon about Bokushi wearing mismatched socks has been stuck in my head for ages so I decided to draw it (ft. baby Bokushi, of course). I also included the outfit from the official art of chibi Bokushi wearing mismatched shoes because it's so adorable. Bonus sketch under the cut!
[Art related to my fic, Accidental Siblings.]
#this was mainly an excuse to practice shading again but i got cute art out of it so everybody wins ig#i will make up any excuse to draw baby boku being cute and this is one of those instances#he just wants to be a little silly sometimes cut the kid some slack#anyway shoutout to aura for always knowing which buttons to push that will make me want to make cute baby boku art#you are singlehandedly ensuring i keep consistent with art practice#here's to more cute baby boku art in the future#okay now i need to go to bed fr#i was so immersed in drawing i stayed up way longer than i should have#don't ask me how many hours i have left before i need to wake up#i'll see myself out now#kuroko no basket#knb fanart#my art#knb fanfic#accidental siblings#bokushi
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Maybe something with Mousey being jealous of Hunter and Smoker for one reason or another? hehe
Day 7 - There might be a reason for that
Bonus:
#My art#Requestober#RespectAWoman#Hunter#Smoker#Mousey#Always love when my bonuses are just as if not more technically complex than the main lol#I mean I say that but it was more just tedious to move things between EPSAI2 and GIMP lol#Chibi heads bopping around and a bust-up are not as intensive! My poor hand haha ♪#So this is my first time drawing the ladies digitally huh?? Or at least this trio anyhow haha I'll draw the other two someday#Considering Mousey is my favourite of all of them and her dynamic with Charger was one of my driving loves <3#I also realized while drawing this that she (as a survivor) and Max have the same outfit so that's ♥#White button down and khakis are fairly standard I know let me live XO I love them!!!#Went with pre-infected here tho ♪ When Mousey's still focused on Smoker! Hehe yaay#She's so cute <3 Love that wonderful disaster <3 <3 And also the mains as well!!! Lol#They were actually a lot of fun to draw digitally haha ♪ Hair touching - kind of all over touching lol Hunter's just Like That#I did kinda forget about Hunter's camo pants so I leaned on my SAI textures - but I did the shines on her duct tape myself! Pleased :)#I was thinking at first of Hunter offering Smoker a soda but she pushes for Smoker to be healthy huh!#So I was thinking maybe a weird-flavoured sports drink or sugar-free lemonade or something lol#And the usual ribbing lol Mousey do you know what you're wishing for ♫#I had a moment while drafting where I was like ''Where was the one of Smoker playing Tetris?? :0''#I 100% completely totally remembered it in full colour - but no that was just my brain filling in the details lol it was a sketched comic!#Whenever I think of RespectAWoman that's just the style I see in my head so my mind's eye took it from there pft#I found it in the end ♥ Had to make reference to it! As it's one of my favourites :D
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There is something really beautiful about Simone Biles being regarded as the best gymnast in history, and her still falling/making mistakes/not qualifying for bars final/not placing first always.
#olympics spoilers#is this a thing i should be tagging idk odhgsodg#she's just universally recognized but she can still lose and lose with grace and i was never quite good at that as a gymnast IHDFOISG#rebeca andrade is amazing i am so happy for her#and simone has talked about how they push each other to be better but she is tired of competing with her etc#i may get really annoyed during olympic season bc everyone who knows me messaging me like ARE YOU WATCHING GYMNASTICS#as if i don't make it a huge part of my identity myself but i am obsessed w/ the olympics always have been and watch more than just that#but it happens every time and probs will forever#IDK tag rants no one cares about but it's just such an insane sport and i came first on beam in my last ever competition#i only had to beat like 3 people it was not intense at all difhosdg but it is so nice to see...that#olympics + humanity post here#anyway media leave simone alone give her peace let her be free#ooc.#tbd.
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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#gonna do a little throwback and vent a bit here lmao#I may have pushed myself a lil far by doing a couple impact scenes and then wandering thru a bunch of crowds to watch the fireworks 💀#felt incredible on sunday night had a bad panic attack last night and haven’t been right today I just feel so down and strange#idk if it’s cause we got to discussing trauma and mental illness or if I’m just a lil depressed but I’m in a very pre-medication headspace#and then I rly feel bad cause he walked me home so he was out later than me and then soon after he got home there was a shooting near where#we were. and he’s the one who gets nervous about being out at night I’m always flippant about it#n I feel stupid and careless keeping him out so late just making sure I was alright#idk idk. hoping this is all part of coming off all that adrenaline and I’ll be normal in a couple days#I didn’t anticipate it at all cause the pain was pretty light. but it was all insanely good so maybe it’s more about how high up you get lol#idk! advice welcome if you’ve had a similar experience hdjfjsj
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"Found out" set in kind of a made-up chapter where the girls are in trouble, or something.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i hate having a strong cinematic image in your mind for months..working hours on it..& at the end looking you have to be like “Sure. :/"#i'm especially unsatisfied with the beginning and the end and how i can't get eyebrows to work as i want#but i dont care any more... this is probably the comic that has given me the most trouble ever i just dont care#i barely even care whatsoever if anyone even sees this..Ugh..but at least i can move on to the next era now#i'm just annoyed i cant get out good enough my image of qifrey flinching bc he thinks oru will hit him but then he is not hit#i feel like sensei will do something along these lines. i want to see what she will do.#there are also other variations i have in my mind. i just want to know#i just don't want it to happen with qifrey on his deathbed or something. but it possibly will. I DONT EVEN KNOW.#i have another very cinematic image in my mind for something sort of along those lines which i will do soon. it never ends...#btw after this is probably my fics. yeah.... i think it has to be my fics. jasmine sort of goes along these lines#i need that space for dialogue. look - i'm a writer. this is HARD for me. so i am really glad i had the space and freedom of words#to process all the feelings. but i tried to get something out in a quick visual space too. <- me defending myself to myself at cai court#anyway going along the lines of 'Jasmine' - they talk this out and argue and cry and oru pushes the hat at him and tells him#why not just erase every memory i have of you then. That would be easier for us all wouldn't it?#they kiss and sob and kiss and lie outside in the flowers for many hours in that one. and then there's 'Deep End' where it turns out#way way way way more time and words is needed for this actually and that's upsetting for everyone.#the destruction of the hat is certainly another path to take. Can you make this work without that hat going up in flames?#something you have always had and have been clinging to will have to be destroyed. You have to lose something now. This is the crux qifrey#I CANT GET IT OUT IN ONE COMIC!!! I CANT DRAW IT OUT!!!! I NEEDED THOSE FICS!!!! PRAISE WORDS!!!! whatever im going to have dinner now
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deep breaths so hard they hurt
#which granted doesnt take much my chest muscles r permanently aching naturally#but esp so w the Horrors#i think trying and asking for help and explaining why things hurt makes things worse sometimes actully#it makes what happens hurt more because now Everyone Knows but they just dont care#its just been eating away at me since that day#i wish i hadnt pushed through#i wish i hadnt tried#i wish i had stayed silent like im supposed to#but i just keep going#i never shut up#i always make everything worse and i scold n beat myself up over it and promise ill stop but i cant actually do anything right#it always comes full circle
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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Hey yall I wanted to make a pinned for the situation happening right now! Would appreciate a read 💙 Written Nov 20, 2024.
ko-fi.com/A3333UNK
#cl#I feel like im always making these depending on my situation but it really does help so much when yall keep up with me and appreciate my ar#im really having more and more dreams happen and im trying to push myself to really just DO IT and not be too nervous to start more endevao#mine#self portrait#71498#top surgery#etsy artist#print artist#or im trying to be lol
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having one day off work and one day on work and the next day off work is doing fantastic things to my psyche
#my coworker and i discuss our ideal schedules sometimes#and we talk about it with customers a lot esp regulars like there is this one guy who is awesome#he is a respiratory therapist and a chain smoker he is like ''well i'm dying someday anyway'' but#today he came in like ''i have the next 12 days off'' because i think his schedule is super long hours for a few days with a bunch of days#off in between#and my coworker says his ideal work schedule is 7 days on 7 days off#i would prefer working short shifts more frequently BUT#i think alternating days on/off would be lowkey awesome for me even tho the days would have to be longer to make ends meet#if i could go to work every day like ''yay i have tomorrow off!!!'' it would be awesome#it doesn't bother me when i have a day off and i'm like ''ugh i have work tomorrow'' because i very rarely get consecutive days off anyway#if i can't have consecutive days off i would like more frequent days off... even if my work days are longer like at a certain point it#doesn't even matter to me anymore. i'm in work mode all day and then chill mode the next#i get so exhausted so easily lel having more breaks in between work would be awesome#i could not work long days for a week straight#also having a week off would probably be bad for me because i do enjoy the stimulation of going to work and working#maybe this is a character flaw but i lose myself if i have no work for too long#like 3 days off in a row is pushing it for me#i always fell apart and became depressed over breaks from school too#maybe if i was more of a socialite it would cure my problem. having something to do that isn't work or school#it might be enough to save me... but i also looove solitude#sometimes#when i first moved into this apartment i was spending so much time socializing and it was so fun but after a few months it got exhausting#and now i am becoming a bit reclusive again#balance...
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