#so he was a father when he started adventuring

[clockworkdragonffxiv]

This for me extends to a lot of how I run animals/magical beasts as a GM. Most animals will not pick a fight if they think they'll get hurt unless they're desperate, defending their young, backed into a corner, or rabid. Now some animals are incredibly aggressive but rarely fight to the death and will often retreat in the face of intimidation or just plain superior numbers.

I remember a story my father told me: when he was in grad school he was doing scientific research in the Florida Keys on the local fish (there are benefits to being a marine biologist, and stories like this are one of them), and his dive buddy had gone in the water first... and found himself within twenty feet of a rather large Great Hammerhead shark. Being alone in the water with a 4-meter shark that is known to sometimes become aggressive is not a great place to be, especially when it's decided that you're interesting and is now angling closer. Which is when my dad hit the water, completely oblivious to the shark. Despite it being easily twice the size of two grown human it took off like a bat out of hell and left them alone because two things half it's size are just enough that in a fight, it might be able to easily dispatch one but that would leave it open to being jumped by it's pal.

Animals hate fighting groups. They hate fair fights. Even the biggest apex predators like grizzly bears and orcas never fight fair. For a lone predator to take on a group of humans is extremely irregular and means it's probably either rabid or it's got cubs nearby, it's maddened by starvation or injury, or the humans have blundered into it.

So usually in my games with animals - both mundane and magical - often you can cow them or drive them off with intimidation, loud noises and fire. They might try and pick off a lone adventurer if they think there's no one else around, and might stalk them for a while, but if more show up they'll start threat posturing and backing away unless they're backed into a corner at which point they'll berserk because the most direct way out is through your ribcage.

Smarter animals that've become embolded and hunt in packs might try their luck against small groups of humans if they think they've got overwhelming numbers, but that usually means they've advanced to overruning entire farmhouses. More often it means there's something bizarre going on, possibly magical or supernatural, that's got them riled up.

The exception to all of this is any species of pig. Be it wild boar, warthog, or some cute little oinker, those fuckers will fight to the death and will accept mortal wounds just to get close enough to gut you.

Putting all tabletop players into a college level ethics class and forcing them to turn in a paper on moral philosophy before buying a new book

[magical-girl-coral]

I can't stop thinking about the wrong kids. Here's how I think they all ended up like that:

Ragh- murdered Fabian while under the effect of the nightmare forest. Fabian took out his eye before going down, and Ragh claimed the Hangman just as Fabian called him after killing Johnny Spell. He took Fabian's eyepatch so that fear would never control him again.

Aelwyn - couldn't save Adaine in time and watched in horror as their father killed her. She then killed him and got attacked by a charmed Tracker, which turned her into a werewolf. She failed the constitution check on purpose to embrace her monstrosity fully. She has to use Adaine's sword to focus better whenever a full moon occurs.

Zelda - went berserk from grief after watching Gorgug get murdered in the forest and became reckless during battles afterward, losing her arm in the process. She impulsively broke up with her old adventuring party after they called her out and started studying artificer classes to get a piece of Gorgug back to her life.

Ayda - sacrificed herself to stop the nightmare king after she saw Fig dies. She is immediately reborn as an infant and was raised on the tales of the tragic love story between her former self and some rock star. She got sick and tired of constantly being compared to the previous Ayda, so she picked up bard classes and dressed like a punk, unknowingly taking after her other mom instead.

Tracker - after snapping out of her hypnosis when the nightmare king was done, she became disgusted with her actions and vowed to never allow her feral instincts to take over again. She abandoned her goddess and worshipped Helio instead, knowing how well his followers were at being controlled. The silver bracelets were her idea.

Zayn - when he heard about none of the bad kids returning from the nightmare forest, Zayn felt as though he had lost the last connection to the world of the living with all of his friends being dead. He trained himself to become a phantom rogue, fully embracing his undead life and refusing to connect to any living again. He still tries to find their ghosts when no one is looking.

[queer-ragnelle]

can you tell us more about gingalain? he seems intriguing but i don't know much about him

I sure can! Here are the texts that center his story.

Le Bel Inconnu (French)

Gilglois (French)

Wigalois: Knight of Fortune’s Wheel by Wirnt von Grafenberg (German)

Carduino (Italian)

Sir Libeaus Desconus (Middle English)

Vidvilt (Yiddish)

His name differs depending on the text (as shown with the titles) but in Le Bel Iconnu [The Fair Unknown] his baptismal name is revealed to be Guinglain; varied spellings of that name appear in other texts so, I'll adjust my spelling accordingly.

Anyway the gist of his origin [most of the time] is that Gawain meets and falls in love with a mysterious woman but has to leave her to return to his duties at King Arthur’s court, only to discover he can no longer return to his lady/wife who lives in an impenetrable Otherworldy bubble. Years go by and their child grows up. The child eventually leaves home in search of his father. He ends up at King Arthur’s court but remains anonymous, so Arthur dubs him “The Fair Unknown,” for he’s handsome and skilled at arms. He goes on adventures with ladies, fighting giants and dragons, eventually revealing to Gawain that he's his son by the fairy/Otherworld lady.

"Guinglain’s" coat of arms in French Le Bel Iconnu is a lion...

In German Wigalois it’s a golden wheel of fortune...

In Middle English Sir Libeaus Desconus it's a griffin...

But when you google the character by name, Guingalain or Gingalain, it's this shield which pops up:

Now it's a pretty badass shield, but where does it come from? It doesn't appear in The Manuscripts and Patronage of Jacques d’Armagnac, where Gawain and his brothers first got their coats of arms. Evidentially this image comes from Le Blason des Armoiries by Jérôme de Bara, published in 1604, from which many knights received their coats of arms including Sagramore, Kay, and Bedivere.

Gawain's son appears in the supporting cast of many other texts. He's called "Gyngolyn" at the end of The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle.

And "Gangalayne" shows up again in Le Morte d’Arthur alongside his father, Gawayne, half brothers, Florence and Louel, and uncles, Agrauayne, Gaherys, Mordred, and Gareth.

Sometimes he keeps the title "The Fair Unknown" even after his relation to Gawain is known, as in the 2nd Perceval Continuation.

Some texts develop him into a fully fledged character beyond his origins, such as in the Prose Tristan, where "Giglain" fights Tristan and then reports back to a grieving Isolde that Tristan still lives.

And in the Post-Vulgate, "Guinglain" guards a bridge and challenges any who try to pass, including Galahad, Arthur the Less, and Palamedes.

He also appears in some retellings.

The best example is Gillian Bradshaw's trilogy. He's called "Gwyn" and his parents are Gwalchmai and Elidan. Their romance covers book 1, Hawk of May, then Gwyn is discovered in book 2, Kingdom of Summer, and his paternity revealed to Gwalchmai on Elidan's deathbed in book 3, In Winter's Shadow. These books are fine, but so slow, and started the trend of replacing Lancelot with Bedwyr to keep it more "historical/Welsh," meanwhile Agravain is still a character and Medraut is a bastard of incest and all the Orkney bros are actually Irish. So what was the point of that? I'd rather Lancelot had been there, particularly because Gwyn's death occurs when Bedwyr comes to rescue Gwenhwyfar from her fate and Bedwyr kills him, unarmed, to get her. So it follows the French storyline anyway. I do adore how much everyone loves Gwyn. Afterwards, Cei is acting as lawyer to work out Bedwyr's story against Medraut's, and they have this exchange:

Gwyn was everybody's baby boy. Then Cei describes the extent of Gwalchmai's grief, including having the horse he gifted Gwyn slain and burning all his belongings.

Cei likens it to the grief felt at Agravain's passing. So this is good food for Gawain and family enjoyers, but as I said, not a huge fan of Bedwyr/Lancelot hybrid as Gwyn's murderer.

In Persia Woolley's third book, Guinevere The Legend in Autumn, introduces the character. But she's so unpleasant about her characters of color...

Yeahhhhh. Long story short, Ragnelle is a fey nomad that lives among the animals she herds. She was unable to be made "civilized" and left court, evidentially sending her son "Gingalin" to be fostered by Bertilack, then given to Gawain after his Green Knight quest. There's so much unnecessary emphasis on their skin-tone coupled with the way their culture's framed it's just. Ick. I hate it.

In Howard Pyle's fourth book The Story of the Grail and the Passing of Arthur, "Gingaline" is mentioned in the line up of knights who join Agravaine and Mordred in the ambush of Launcelot and Guinevere. Ironically, he isn't mentioned as Gawaine's son, but his half brothers, Florence and Lovel, are.

Since Ragnelle and Gromer Somer Joure are both present in Pyle's series, I'm going to assume "Gingaline" is Gawaine's son. I know it, in my heart.

Lastly, in The Green Knight (2021) movie, Gawain has an unnamed son who dies in battle. He's Guinglain. To me. If I squint.

So what do I recommend reading? Of the Medieval stuff, the French story Le Bel Iconnu is the origin, so it's a great place to start. The English Sir Libeaus Desconus is short and sweet, with a really great scene of his kinsmen, Gawain, Agravaine, and Ywain, plus friends Lancelot and Perceval, arming him. Yiddish Vidvilt is also fun, it resembles the German Wigalois the most, which is my favorite.

And that's everything I got. As you can see there's a lot of Gawain's son in Medieval stories and not very many in modern ones. I love him! Let's includes him in more stories, shall we? :^)

[autumnmobile12]

Ambush Simulation scenario where Fuyumi and Shouto both get sick. Because if they get sick, between Touya being immunocompromised and Natsuo not living at home, Endeavor has to be the one to deal with them.

Touya: *calling from Compress' house* I don't know what to tell you, Dad. You can either make food, order food, or text Natsuo. Your call.

Endeavor: Interesting how your sister is so diligent in taking care of you during your illnesses, and yet--

Touya: Don't you fuckin' gaslight me into coming home. You know damn well if I catch whatever those two have, it might just kill me. Unless that's the goal.

Endeavor: Don't be dramatic. It's just a cold.

Touya: Yeah...the last time I had 'just a cold,' I ended up in the ER two days later with bronchitis. I won the health crisis bingo card that week.

Endeavor: Oh really, what else was on this bingo card of yours?

Touya: Bronchitis, influenza, pneumonia--

Endeavor: That doesn't start with an N.

Touya: --pneumonia, gangrene, and a nasty oropharynx infection.

Endeavor: When the hell did you have gangrene?

Touya: Turns out, that's why I needed my gallbladder removed when I was ten and you totally forgot about that, didn't you? Hey, you think the freaks who put me back together gave me a new one?

Endeavor: Goodbye, Touya.

...

The further adventures that show Touya didn't need to become a villain to torment his father. He just needed to be a pain in the ass and enjoy the fireworks. I picture him gleefully kicking his heels through that entire convo.

[renegadetulisrp]

All this flirty banter was doing her no good. Truly. It was one thing to have inexplicable feelings for a colleague, it is another to have one for your friend's brother. Sage shook her head at his seemingly rhetorical question and she rolled her eyes. "One day it's going to bite you back in your ass, Theo." That much she had already warned him countless of times. Not that he had shown any care - she doesn't expect it from him either.

"Seven children?" Sage echoed back, surprise washed over her like a cold bucket of water. She might have been good friends with Aven, his twin, as well but she never knew that fact. "I have so many questions but at the same time I do not want to pry." The Wolfram twins had never been one to talk about their personal lives, especially their childhood. Sage shot him an ever-grateful look when he handed her a glass of champagne. She chuckled at his mocking words, unable to bring herself to mirror them. "Salud!"

At the other side of the manor, Sage's uncles were already gaggling around the grand piano, raising their voices as they argued which song they should be singing. Sage glanced over at them, snickering at their antics. "I think..." she started, pointing at them, "That's our cue to sneak off." The mischievous glint in her blue hues made a comeback and Sage tugged on his arm to guide him away from the crowd. "Honestly all this talk about babies makes me want to down the whole liquor cupboard. Aaand...The best ones are in my father's study." Sage grinned, almost salacious. "Ready for another adventure in the manor, Mr. Wolfram?" Her feet were already in motion, retreating into another dimly lit hallway. "I know we had much to drink but wait till you actually taste a Macallan whiskey. You'd wish you'd never leave this house, I promise you."

"Would I do that?" Theo would flirt shamelessly with a plant if he thought it would pay him any attention. The Wolfram twins had that in common. Neither of them had ever known any strangers; they could both talk to anyone, but they both got skittish around real feelings. To be fair, Aven's caution about relationships had been hard-learned, but Theo came by his naturally. Like his father before him, he wasn't around enough to actually be a real partner to someone. Unlike his father, he wouldn't pretend--to himself or anyone else--that it wasn't the case and hitch some poor, besotted girl to him anyway. Even after it was clear he was gone for good, his mother had never really gotten over it. Theo would rather be terminally alone than destroy someone like that.

It wasn't like he was completely unaffected though. True, the talk of their ever-growing family was probably the biggest bucket of cold water ever. He hadn't entertained the idea that there might be some truth in it even for a moment, and he didn't think Sage did either. That wasn't them. It was the quieter moments in between that was doing him in, while they both enjoyed this game they were playing, the warmth of her body at his side and the sound of her laugh, the glimmer of the lights on her hair, the way they built on each other effortlessly in conversation as if they really were together. Based on those things alone, he'd almost believe it himself for a moment.

He'd long ago put her in the Do Not Touch category, partly because he actually liked and respected her and partly because Aven had threatened vivisection if he ever did anything to hurt Sage. Just because he wouldn't act on it didn't mean he didn't notice though. "My parents had seven, can you imagine? I guess it was expected then." He grimaced. Having grown up in a large family like that where they had to fight for every scrap, Theo emphatically did not want one, and he'd made sure he couldn't reproduce, at least in the short-term. He hummed, a mischievous smirk tugging at his lips. "Well that part's true, but not for breeding purposes. I think we've both earned a drink." He snagged two glasses of champagne and passed one to her, lifting the other with a wink. "To our long and happy life together."

[mega-aulover]

Spreading Christmas Cheer

This is a story based off of the movie Elf as requested by @alliswell21​ It’s from “Jovie” i.e. Katniss’s POV, what she would have seen and fell in love with one Peeta ‘Buddy’ Mellark.

Rated T

Pt 1

I watch Peeta gently kiss the top of our first born’s head. Holly’s dark hair is braided into two plaits; her blue eyes closing softly. 

“And Papa Elf said, grandpa was on the naughty list…” his voice was soft.

Suddenly Holly’s eyes widen as she remembers something. Her blue eyes are laser focused on Peeta. “Papá, es verdad que mamá estaba en la  lista de los niños malos?”  

“Y quien te dijo esto?” I ask from the door. We never discuss my role in Peeta’s adventure, or the fact that I was on the naughty list. Ever. 

“Santa,” Holly says.

Ese gordo, Santa has loose lips. I think about teaching him about keeping secrets until it’s time to explain to our child about the past. But before I can say anything, Peeta gives me a look. He always knows when I’m having evil thoughts. I sigh, and redirect my thoughts, because Peeta made me believe in love, joy, and Christmas.    

“Your papa saved more than grandpa that Christmas. He saved me too.”

Holly’s eyes lit up like her father’s before the sleepiness creeps back into their depths.

“Now go to sleep so Santa can come down the chimney.”

"Night, mama, night papa," Holly whispers right before she drifts off to sleep. 

Together we walked out of our daughters bedroom. Peeta slides an arm around my shoulders. He dips down and nuzzles my cheek. He steers me to the living room. I drag my feet. Peeta is up to something.

"Okay, spill it, Mellark."

He gives me a wide eyed smile.

The hair at the back of my neck stands up straight. 

He's got that look, that please tell me a bedtime story stare, and not just any story. 

"No."

Peeta pauses and gives me a puppy dog look with a full lip pout.

"No."

"Come on, Sweetums, my li’l sugar plum," Peeta says in an excited whisper.

"No...no don't waggle your eyebrows at me, Peeta. Buddy. Mellark." I pronounce each one of his names.

Peeta’s grins so brightly; his eyes shine brighter than Christmas lights. His hat is slightly crooked as he hops and does that stupid little dance of his that makes me want to tear off his green tights. Yep, I said tights. My husband was raised as an elf, a six foot two, blond, wavy haired, giant with broad shoulders, washboard abs, and is genuinely sweet. Sweeter than eggnog.

He grabs me by the waist. "You know you wanna," he says in that sexy time voice of his that's reserved only for me. 

Canasto! 

I should clarify for everyone listening to my tale; you should know canasto isn’t a vulgar or bad word. It means basket. But I like the way it sounds in Spanish. So I say it with real vehemence. It’s like peaches in Spanish sounds like a curse word. Melocotón! Tu eres un Melocotón! Which translates into you’re a peach. 

I digress.

I let out a big sigh. There's no way I can say no to him and he knows it! Canasto!

"I love it when you tell the story of how we met from your point of view.“ 

"You’re an evil gremlin," I say with no heat in my voice. It's my personal nickname for him. As in the gremlins when they ate after midnight. However to be fair, if you see Peeta, he’s not scary at all, he’s more like a big teddy bear.  

Peeta laughs and my heart flip flops. Because he is anything but; he is so congenial.

Peeta puts his hands on my belly, my very big belly. It's baby number 2; actually it's baby number two and three. They are counted as one until they're born. I know what he's doing, the evil gremlin! He's trying to distract me because I'm due to give birth. I have mild pangs because I’m carrying twins and I’m nearing my due date.

He carries me and sits me on his lap. “Now start from the beginning.”

“From the candy cane forest?” I ask.

“No from your point of view,” his eyes dance gently as he rests me against his chest, rubbing my bulging belly.

“Okay,” I say quietly.

“Don’t forget to start with once upon a time,” Peeta insists, trying to contain his excitement.

“Once upon a time.”

“This is going to be good,” Peeta whispers.

“Are you going to let me tell the story?”

“Oh yea,” Peeta placed a kiss on my nose. “Go ahead.”

Closing my eyes I picture the year things changed. Because everything in my life was about others and never myself. I was always trying to be someone else, what everyone expected of me. 

It’s hard being a foster kid, and getting out of the system is kind of like getting out of jail. Suddenly you have all this freedom, but you’ve been conditioned to follow all of these rules, so when you are free, you do one of two things. You get in trouble, and try to get sent into an institution; some of us call it the iron college. Or you try to keep your nose clean and learn in the school of hard knocks. In my case, I kept my head above the water for my sister’s sake.  

"I love my family," I muttered underneath my breath. 

I muttered it again as my sister destroyed, no scratch that, mutilated Mariah Carey's "All I want for Christmas."  

Did I forget to mention that I love my family?   

I do. I love my family and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them, but at that moment I wanted to scratch my ears out with dull spoons.  

My perfect baby sister is a smoking hot blonde runway model and the muse for Karl Lagerfeld, but she has the worst singing voice known to man. You want to torture someone, hire my sister, and have her sing to the person you want to torture. Within 3 seconds flat, she can have even the most hardened of spies spilling their guts like a canary.

The one thing I could not stand beside my sister’s singing was Christmas. 

I loathed Christmas.

I was not ashamed to say it.  Every fiber of my body I hated Christmas!   If I had ever met the real Santa back then, he had better hoped that I was not holding my bow and arrow, because I would have shot him through the eye. Not that I believed in Santa then, but if I had known there was a real life Santa Claus, I'd have hunted him down, and burned the fat man's jolly red outfit. I would then gleefully take a joy ride in his sleigh into his workshop like Bill Murray did in Groundhog Day when he allowed the groundhog to drive him off the cliff into a fiery death.

At this point you are wondering why I hated Christmas so much.

There were many reasons why the holiday was so contemptible to me. One, my father died on Christmas day. Two, my mother checked out on us that same Christmas day. The next Christmas Eve was when my sister and I were separated into different foster homes.  It took me a few months to find my six-year-old baby sister. I had been sent to a foster family who used foster kids for slave labor, to have them wipe and clean their floors while the Mrs. of the family spent the whole day in luxurious spas and getting botox treatments, as if that was going to improve her mug. 

My baby sister was luckier. Primrose was placed in a foster home in the middle of suburbia with a 2 story house with a picket fence. A woman named Cecilia and her husband Ronald had never been able to have kids, and they doted on my sister. They brought her up to be the princess she always said she was. Honestly, they were rather shocked when my twelve-year-old cynical self rolled up into their home screaming for my baby sister, Primrose. Prim came running out of nowhere and latched herself onto my leg like an octopus. Best Spring ever, so I do love the Spring. 

But before you think we were reunited, we weren’t. The family that had Primrose never wanted me. And even if they did, we technically didn’t have the same last name. Primrose carried my mom’s last name while I carried my dad’s. My sister was Primrose Emmerson and I was Katniss Everdeen. Our parents had a silly agreement. They were also foster kids, so they decided that I would take dad's name and the next one born would take our mothers name. 

They didn't have a family, and her parents lived in a common law marriage. Their childish decision caused havoc.There was a mix up and we weren’t processed as sisters. Plus, I never stayed in the same foster home for long so even if they wanted me, they never knew where I was, but no matter where I was, I found a way to talk to Primrose, because as long as Prim was loved and cared for, my situation didn’t matter.

After our brief reunion, I had to go back to the family that I was placed in, and my sister stayed with her family. I didn’t stay with mine for very long; I became a statistic. A rolling number on someone’s computer screen. I was bounced around from one family to another in all sorts of seedy homes. 

So you can see why I'm so jaded. Every bad thing that ever happened to me, has happened on that freakin’ holiday. And there was one more reason I disliked that holly jolly holiday so immensely. For some reason, the universe hated me. 

No matter where I went, what city, what town within the state, I could guarantee you that it was a racket, a billion dollar racket to make parents crazy and buy things for their kids they didn’t need. For some reason, it pleased people to take my olive skin, dark hair, scowling self and put me into a sparkly Christmas cheer, “gag” pointy eared elf costume.

So with a week until Christmas, I was listening to my sister butcher, another holiday favorite song. Then Prim screeched. And I sighed in relief.

"Katniss," Prim said, coming out of the bathroom. “The water is cold!”

I looked heavenward. “The pipes. I forgot they’re working on the water main outside. They said there would be interruption to service.”

“Oh, you know I can get us a hotel room,” Prim said toweling dry her pale blonde locks. 

My studio apartment wasn’t what my sister was used to. She was a freaking couture runway model, six foot one, so slim nothing off the rack fit her. “I’m sorry Prim, I was so excited to see you.”

Prim smiled. “Look, I only have a few hours left. How about I treat you to lunch before I go back up to Connecticut to spend Christmas with Cecillia and Ron.” Prim smiled at me. “You know you’re more than welcome to come. They always ask about you.”

I loved my baby sister. She was amazing. And I was damned glad that the Hendersons were an amazing couple, but I knew the score. They didn’t know what to do with me. “As long as you don’t mind me wearing my elf costume.”

Primrose chuckled. “You make the cutest elf though.” She patted me on the head using a baby tone with me. Prim was taller than me by a foot. I was tiny, or as Prim said, compact size.

“I could still put you over my knee, little duck,” I growled. “Así que mira ver.”

My sister laughed and she delighted in taunting me. Prim no longer spoke Spanish, but she understood the language. “You're adorable when you’re angry, an angry little elf, aren’t you?”

“Primrose,” I said in Spanish. I rounded my ‘r’s’ when I said her name. 

“Awe, I don’t don’t get why you hate Christmas so much.” Primrose winked going to the screen divider to get dressed. My sister was used to dressing and undressing in front of dozens of people. I, on the other hand, was not so free with nudity. Primrose said I was a prude. If I hadn't told her to use the screen, she would have changed right in front of me. 

“Did you know there are only three jobs an elf can have,” Prim said from over the screen. 

I sighed. Unlike me, Primrose loved Christmas. Hell, she even suggested that there might be a real Santa Claus. I told her the only people who look for ways to sneak into people’s houses are criminals. 

Prim continued her story about elves. “The type of elves that live in trees and make cookies, the types that make shoes, and the best type.”

“Let me guess, Christmas elves,” I said, rolling my eyes.

Prim grinned. She came around the screen wearing thigh high red boots, jeans and a camel tunic sweater that looked like cashmere. “Come on sis, let me treat you to breakfast so that you can go terrorize the children of Macy’s toy department.”

[nychthemeron-rants]

This man is already a father.

[vonnebenan]

"My father says you have been my friend. You came back for me." "You would have done the same for me."

oils on paper, A4

[razor0-0]

I love this so much you don't even know

inspired by the ‘your afternoon was already ruined’ post

Death Star Stormtroopers: “Freeze!”

Han: (panicking, trying to come up with a lie): Woah there don’t shoot, uh, you can’t shoot us because—because this guy is Darth Vader’s son! You don’t want to be responsible for shooting Darth Vader’s own flesh and bone do you?”

Luke: *glares incredulously*

Stormtroopers: “That is the dumbest thing—”

Leia: (done at this point, absolutely done with this rescue, better than Han at lying) “Exactly! Why would we tell you something so phenomenally insane if it weren’t true! Why do you think Darth Vader is so obsessed with finding Rebels, huh? Call him he’ll tell you!”

Luke: (also done, much better than Han at lying): “Or you could just shoot us; I’m sure my father, Darth Vader, inventor of the lightsaber, would be thrilled to meet the men who killed his son and his son’s friends.” *waves lightsaber arrogantly*

Stormtrooper 1: “Maybe we should call this in. I mean—he’s got a lightsaber, so that’s—that’s Vader stuff anyway.”

Stormtrooper 2: “are you kidding me right now?”

Leia: *shoots them while they’re distracted*

Han: “…We’re friends?”

//

Tarkin: “The rebels said what? You incompetent fool, how could you buy such an absurd stalling—”

Vader: “My…son…”

Tarkin:

Tarkin: Oh fuck THIS.

[hauntingblue]

Ennies Lobby 3.0. yes that's happening I have too much to yap about

Omg look at these freaks

Franky is so real.... look at him....

Omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I have teared up so many times just bc luffy smiles with meaning at some point. insane btw.

MY GOOOOOOOD!!!!!! AAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHH

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

The neutrality of it all....

I forgor about aokiji revealing that he was friends with Saul and that he was protecting her because of it... the "live life and prove to me that ohara is still alive"... damn reminds me of garp saying to ace that he would find out if it was wrong for him to be born. "I don't know if it was right or wrong for saul to let you live" yeah that's it. But anyways all this happened because aokiji was loyal to his friend and now we know that he didn't even kill him!! So why is he with blackbeard?? I can't shake it!!!

I can't do it.... I can't.....

Luffy and franky talking about how mich they like the ship while he's chasing his speedos bottomless through the city 😭😭 it's so sweet actually... Franky only has one pair of speedos... thats why he ran thru the city to get them I get it now

"If you don't mind being a little rough I'm wiling to help" robin you freaky girl. But truly that is one of many robin and luffy's autistic communication moments they just know. Also if robin stopped crushing his balls but everyone could see the hands being there that means that she was just holding them for a while while he wept. Normal things here.

Franky blaming himself all this time... 🥺🥺

And he just takes his trunks and walks to the ship without putting them on akdjaosnso alpha moment while saying a melancholic goodbye to your family... crazy

What.... what is he doing

Luffy's fake ass laughing and saying how usopp will do great on his own.... I am seeing you cold sweat

This shit has always been so funny to me.... luffy definitely suffers from nepotism

Usopp asking if they don't know he's sniper king skdbjs no, they (luffy) don't know akdjaons

Look at these wet little beasts omg. Matching icons akdhaksjks

DADAN MENTION????? IN THE ACE VS BLACKBEARD CHAPTER????? AAAAAAAAHHHHH

Face card and pose unmatched as of yet. Look at the evidence.

I am killing myself now. Goodbye.

But I'm already dead!! Yohohoho... Anyways water seven and enies lobby is done.... I am scared (thriller bark) of what is coming you have no idea. Also!! Luffy nearly dying after hia battle with lucci starts the domino effect of luffy being barely strong enough to save everyone until it climaxes in sabaody and then culminates in marineford which is crazy to me btw. Luffy's evolution until then is about how no matter how strong he is it would never be enough. Insane. I don't know what else to say. I love you robin and franky. ACE STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP. nvm it's too late already. AAAAAHHHHHH

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

just finished season 3 and i have. thoughts.

[waywardsalt]

i love having post ph ideas and no idea where on the timeline they go

[tempo-takoyaki]

From an anonymous freeform prompt for SVSSS Action, may I present to you... Delicious in the Abyss! A SVSSS x DunMeshi AU!

More info about the different characters (with some sketches) under the "read more" :

In Delicious in the Abyss, we follow various groups of adventurers as they explore the "abyss" a mysterious place filled with various fauna and monsters. No matter their race or age, most of them have the same goal: becoming the master of the abyss... However, some have a very different idea of how one should explore the abyss. Take for example a certain group led by an elf named Shen Yuan who desires one thing only... eat as many different monsters as possible!

Shen Yuan's party :

Shen Yuan: Elf, 87 y/o, Mage. His wish is to eat and study as many monsters as possible. He started exploring the abyss about twenty years ago, but had to stop abruptly after taking in Luo Binghe. On the surface, his studies seem to merely be for the sake of curiosity... But are they?

Luo Binghe: Tiefling, 63 y/o, Tank (and cook). Thrown into the abyss at the age of 38 (since tieflings are a long-lived race, it means he was about 14), he got stuck in the lowest levels for few years before Shen Yuan saved him. He regards him as his savior (and one true love) and would do anything for him... even if it means cooking the monsters (he hates it, he hates it so much).

Shang Qinghua: Gnome, 87 y/o, Healer. Shen Yuan's oldest friend and the author of many infamous books. He stopped writing them about twenty years ago though, after he started to explore the abyss with Shen Yuan. He seems to be looking for something in the abyss, or rather: someone.

Liu Qingge: Tallman, 26 y/o, Swordsman. One of Shen Yuan's friends. He used to be part of the Cang Qiong guild but left it after a disagreement with one of his colleagues. Now he works for Shen Yuan with his younger sister, Liu Mingyan. "Uh? My goal? Get stronger. Mh."

Liu Mingyan: Tallman, 24 y/o, Swordswoman. Liu Qingge's younger sister, she accompanies him on each of his missions. She got an offer to work with Cang Qion mountain once but refused it once she learned her brother had left the guild. She's quiet but efficient, however, Shang Qinghua suspects that she might stick around for other reasons...

Cang Qiong Guild:

Yue Qingyuan: Tallman, 48 y/o, Tank. The leader of Cang Qiong, he's a respected individual amongst adventurers. However, he seems leniant on the vices of his vice-leader: Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu: Tallman, 40 y/o, Swordman. Vice-leader of Cang Qiong. He's the reason Cang Qiong is exclusively made of tallmen, as he has a strong distate for any other races, especially elves. The only exception to this rule is his adopted daughter: Ning Yingying, a dwarf. He's the one who abandoned Luo Binghe into the abyss after discovering his true nature.

Mu Qingfang: Tallman, 29 y/o, Healer. The group's medic.

Qi Qingqi: Tallman, 31 y/o, Swordswoman. She wanted to create a branch specifically for women in Cang Qiong Guild's but because of Shen Qingqiu's veto on recruiting other races she couldn't make it work.

Ming Fan: Tallman, 19 y/o, Mage. A cowardly young adventurer. He has a crush on Ning Yingying.

Ning Yingying: Dwarf, 51 y/o, Tank. Despite being older than him, she's Shen Qingqiu's adopted daughter whom he took in when she was merely 30 y/o. She likes her father a lot, however she can't forgive him for what he has done to Luo Binghe. (She'll leave Cang Qiong to join Shen Yuan's part at some point).

(Side note, Cang Qiong is still specialized in cultivation, hence why most of them look so young)

The Tieflings hideout:

Tieflings are a race that I made up for this AU specifically, inspired by D&D. They're inhabitant of the dungeon, tall and sturdy, with pointy ears akin to elves, horns of various shapes and tails. They can also use magic like elves, tallmen or gnomes, however their magic rely on its own set of rules.

Mobei-Jun: Tiefling, 92 y/o, King of the Northern tribe. Leader of one of the numerous tiefling tribes hidden in the abyss, he met Shang Qinghua twenty years ago in the abyss and has made him swear his loyalty to him since then. He has sensed change in the abyss since Luo Binghe's arrival, and decided to trust Shen Yuan's party to solve this issue... With the compensation of Shang Qinghua.

Sha Hualing: Half-ogre half-halfoot, 15 y/o, Princess of the Eastern tribe. Adopted daughter of the king of the eastern tribe, she's a bastard born from the forbidden union between an ogre and a half-foot and was abandoned into the abyss at birth. Of short stature, with a short life spawn, she makes up for it with her keen senses and her strength. She later on joins Shen Yuan's party.

The first Tieflings:

Tianlang-Jun: Tiefling, ??? y/o, Master of the Abyss. The master of the abyss, his powers are beyond anything imaginable. He claims to have eaten what has given him those powers and since then has known hunger beyond what any mortal could endure. He has once fell in love with a tallman woman by the name of Su Xiyan, but she has left the abyss years ago, and he doesn't know what her whereabouts are... The only thing he knows is that she's the only one capable of satisfying this hunger that eats him from the inside.

Zhuzhi-Lang: Beastman (snake), ??? y/o, Guardian of the abyss. Tasked by the Abyss' Master to protect its inhabitants, he'll kill anyone who gets in his ways indiscriminately at the exception of Shen Yuan, who saved him years ago when exploring the abyss for the first time. He only obeys the Abyss' Master orders, and because of that, has forced the Tieflings deeper and deeper into the abyss regardless of how they felt about it. As a chimera, he's more snake than the tiefling his soul has been mixed with.

Other groups:

Huan Hua's guild (the governor's guild): The one guild financed by the governor of the state in which the abyss is located. Its members are from various races. Despite the guild stating they're open to anyone, only those from a wealthy background can become a part of it.

Zhao Hua's guild: Specialized in magic. They have rounds to reanimate unlucky adventurers in the abyss.

Tian Yi's guild: Specialized in training new adventurers.

And that's it for now! What awaits them in the abyss? Many adventures and delicious cooking, that is, if Luo Binghe can handle it.

"Freed from the abyss at long last... Forced to cook the monsters with seasoning this time. I've been cursed there's no other way to explain it... Damn it, it's good though, I really am a great cook."

[bunnygirllover45]

— THE THRILL OF THE HUNT.

♱ TRIGGER WARNINGS: Johann literally hunts down the reader, Small outburst at the end, and a lot of bullshit talk about hunting because I like it, DEAD DOVE. No violence was used.

Synopsis: You escape from Johann, he has to track you down. WORD COUNT: 1.6k

Johann wasn't exactly the thrill-seeking kind. He always preferred a slow-paced life, not filled with many excitements or tragedies. He wasn’t an adventurous spirit or a fiery soul in search of greater meaning. In his head, the only thing he needed was you.

And maybe that’s why this exact moment made his blood boil with newfound rapture, he could swear for a moment his skin bumped at the feeling of his heart throbbing so quickly against his ribcage. The thrill of the hunt, like his father used to say, made mere men become beasts, some because it was vital for their survival, others because of the rush of power it gave them.

But he couldn’t quite understand it until now. For him, hunts weren’t that exciting. The game was always too easy to track down, the footsteps effortlessly concealed. The gun didn’t feel heavy enough. His breath didn’t quicken at the mere chance of letting his prey slip away; he’ll always find a way to reach them again, after all. Animals have their habits; they’re easy to decipher once you know their true nature.

This is the type of hunt he’s been craving for so long. Johann had to press a hand against his mouth to prevent a low chuckle from escaping. Oh, how right his father was. This was truly trilling to the core, the kind of thrill that made a foreign heat rise towards his head and seep into his very brain tissue.

Humans aren’t like animals, their behavior is a little more erratic, animals can be divided between highly intelligent beings and straight-up dumb ones, but humans? All of them had their quirks, you couldn’t easily guess how prepared someone could be under certain circumstances. “Isn’t that so fucking interesting?” 

Lowering himself to the ground Johann reached to touch the freshly shaped footstep that his precious prey left behind. If they’re leaving such a pretty trail behind they’re expecting me to find them, what a tease.

“You know what kind of animals roam these types of terrains?” His voice was loud enough to carry its sound through the extremely quiet, when the hunt begins, the forest goes quiet, no need to scream. “Bears, moose, sometimes even wolves. Had to detangle a lot of ‘em from traps before, not without properly securing they won’t be able to bite, ‘course.” 

His heavy boots made the rotten wood and debris scattered around the forest soil yield under their weight, no need to change onto more quiet shoes, his bunny wouldn’t be able to hear him coming, surely their heartbeat was the only thing resounding inside their ears. Reaching into his pocket he took out his watch, starting a countdown. “I’ll give you two minutes to gain distance, cover your tracks, you can try hiding if you want, but I wouldn’t recommend staying still, it makes you easier to spot.” 

“Once the two minutes are done I’ll begin searching, I'll make a bird calling each 45 seconds, and once three minutes pass by, I’ll stop making bird callings and hunt in earnest, ‘kay? Just want to make the game easier for you, it isn’t fun if I’m the one with the upper hand all the time even if this is my subject.” 

With a deep sigh, he crouched down again, his hands fidgeting inside his pocket until he found a cigarette, the last one actually. Grabbing his lighter he lit up the tip, taking a slow inhale before letting the smoke escape from his lips. 

His free hand reached to grab the gun he always had with him, it was an old friend of sorts, stuck by his side in all the worst situations, a lot of people meeting their death at the end of this same barrel. Maybe it should have your name, after all, people do name their guns sometimes.

The forest grew more eerily quiet, the sun setting down in the distance while Johann quietly awaited the starting gunshot of the race, he didn’t really need to put the time on his watch, he could already count the time down to the millisecond inside his head. “Forty-eight, forty-nine…” His gloved fingers tapped against his lips, hands tightly clad in leather gloves, perfect for the harsh Austrian winter. 

A part of him wished you didn’t even make the effort to run away, maybe finding you curled up against a rock or a tree just waiting for him to find you was more exciting than actually pursuing you, after all, that meant you truly gave up on the idea of leaving him behind—still, another part of his brain screamed for you to run, so he could find you and make sure you won’t try pulling up bullshit like this again.

Slowly he stood up, the watch making a low beeping sound before he began to walk, settling the gun back onto the strap around his thigh. Holding the cigarette in between his lips he began to prepare the clothes you were going to use once he caught you, after all, little you decided to escape both barefoot and barely dressed, the worst thing in this forest beside him was the cold. Holding the spare jacket he always brought with him inside his bag and a blanket he continued to walk nonchalantly, not even sparing a single stare in any direction that wasn’t just dead front and center. 

Johann's stare drifted onto the floor, a little disappointed that you didn’t take his recommendation into account, there, clear as day, were your pretty little marks for him to follow like a bloodhound. Johann even took the time to carefully make sure he didn’t accidentally step into any of them, not wanting to overshadow the loving tracks you left behind for him with his heavy boots.

He knew very well he was taking all of this too lightly, this was a high gamble where he could lose everything or gain all, but still the elated sense of happiness and bubbling excitement made him more self-confident, too sure you wouldn’t get away too far, and even if you did, he’d stay in the damn forest all the time necessary for you to realize you need to go back onto his loving arms.

Stopping dead in his tracks he turned around as he heard a small sound coming from behind a fallen stump, dead bark peeling off the tree’s corpse. There you are.

And there you were indeed, curled up in a ball, back pressing against the rough bark as you held your arms around your torso, bracing yourself from the harsh winter cold, from the shiver that ran down your shoulders towards your legs or the sight you so pathetically defenseless made him smile, a blush creeping up onto his features.

“You didn’t even run far enough to let me do any bird calls, are you that tired, baby?” He kneeled down in front of you, but as soon as you jolted up in surprise Johann’s hand shot to grab your wrist with unnerving quickness. His dark eyes bore into you, a small smile gracing his lips, but there was no emotion behind that expression of his. “That’s okay, next time I’ll give you some proper equipment, some shoes wouldn’t hurt.” 

His thumb caressed the skin of your wrist, while his other hand threw away the now almost half-smoked cigarette that Johann held in between his lips. Eventually he reached to grab your head in between them, rubbing your cheeks with such tenderness that it could be even soothing in a different situation. “There, you did good. Not good enough to grant you a reward, but you did have me a little scared back there.” His smile widened as he lied through his teeth. You frowned, tired, freezing cold and also breathless, but still with enough energy to try and pry his hand away from your wrist, it was useless, he was latched onto you like a handcuff. “Fuck yo—” Before you could even finish he reached to clasp his free hand onto your mouth, the sudden movement making you stumble backward, head pressing against the tree. “Fuckin’ language.” He whispered between his teeth, staring at you dead in the eyes. “You should be grateful I didn’t put a damn bullet in between those pretty eyes of yours. Runnin’ away from me like that? After all I did for you? I let you away from my sight for just a second and you go jolting away like a fucking rabbit.” 

Taking a deep breath he lowered his head, slowly pushing his hand away from your mouth, his face leaning closer to you, the only warm feeling gracing your warm body being his hot breath against your face. “Sorry ‘bout that.” He pushed your lower lip with his thumb, pressing a soft kiss onto your flesh as some sick and twisted kind of apology.

“I won’t be as lenient next time, ‘kay? You know I care about you a lot, meine Liebe, don’t want you getting hurt.” He forced a smile, leaning his forehead against yours, but again his voice was masked by the thumping sound of your heart against your ears. “Let’s get you back to the car, I’ll get you all warmed up and cozy.” 

You just let him grab you, his hands effortlessly grabbing you and carrying you bridal style as both of you made your way back toward the car, you stole a few glances at Johann’s face, finding a small smile and that darn blush in his cheeks that showed how much he enjoyed himself, maybe a twisted part of him was truly pleased by all of this, even if it just started as a rebellious act of trying to escape from your part.

“Hear that? It’s a White-tailed eagle. Birds of prey, always hunted them with my father as a child.” Suddenly the forest wasn’t so quiet anymore, the hunt has ended.

[adultdisney]

THINKING ABOUT BEST FRIEND!LEON.

best friend!leon who’s been your best friend for as long as you could remember. he’s been at every birthday party and almost every family cookout.

best friend!leon who your mom secretly hopes you end up marrying.

best friend!leon who’s always been a bit of a goody two shoes. perfectly grades, clean record. every time you’d tease him about him about it he’d crossed his arms and frown.

best friend!leon who your grandma and aunties are very much fond of.

best friend!leon who always shares his things with you—his airpods, fries, hoodies—you name it.

best friend!leon who your father approves of.

best friend!leon who has a dislike for trouble and shenanigans, always seems to be pulled into your little mischievous ‘adventures’.

best friend!leon who seems to be…caught up in one of those ‘adventures’ as of right now.

“if you’re gonna move, move.” his voice is slightly muffled because his hands are on his face, hiding the fact that his eyes are damn near rolling into the back of his skull.

“what was that? i can’t hear you, lee.”

you hum happily as you lean forward and move them away from his face, revealing those gorgeous baby blues of his. his lips are slightly red and puffy from the intense makeout session you both had earlier prior to…this.

you look at him, flashing the sweetest most innocent smile as if you aren’t straddling his lap, all of his inches currently buried deep in you—taking a mental note of how flustered he is, purposely avoiding eye contact, skin semi clammy, chest heaving up and down…the poor boy is a wreck.

and you’re enjoying every second of it.

“i said,” he speaks slowly, voice a little raspy. “if you’re gonna move, move. you’re killing me here, sweetheart.”

sweetheart. he’s been calling you that for the longest of time-but every time he does, butterflies attack your stomach. it just…does something to you.

his eyes are back on you now, practically begging and pleading you to do something-anything.

you tilt your head and give him a fake confused look causing him to let out an annoyed scoff.

“seriously, just move already! what’s the whole point in even doing this, this is literally a torture tactic-why are you even doing this to me? it’s not fair and y—ahhhh—fuck!”

“you talk too much.” you roll your eyes as roll your hips, yours rocking into his as you perform a slow and steady circular motion and rhythm. your gaze falls upon leon, who’s eyes are squeezed shut as he hungrily grips the fat of your hips as you move. you place a teasing kiss on his cheek, getting a whiff of his cologne as you do; something icy and cool, mixed with the scent of his laundry detergent. a crisp clean smell that silently drove you crazy.

“keep going, please d-don’t stop! so good, sweetheart. sooo good.” whiny babbles and fucked out praises leave his wet lips as you continue to move against him but you can’t help but to suddenly get a little…sadistic idea.

your hips come to sudden halt earning an agitated groan from the boy in front of you. his eyes fly open, dark brows knitting together in annoyance. “you stopped. again. why?”

“seems like you were having a little too much fun,” you offer a simple shrug. “wanted to tease you a little more before i get you there.”

leon’s jaw clenches and you laugh—but it’s cut short when you suddenly feel his warm strong hand grab ahold of your waist and starts bouncing you up and down him.

“ah—leon!”

“you teased me enough,” he grunts keeping his eyes on you as you hold on to his shoulders, squeals and whines escaping your lips. “now it’s my fucking turn, sweetheart.”

[mimpinightmare]

✨✨✨YA YAAA! MORE SUPA STRIKAS FANDOM QUESTIONS!!!🙌✨✨✨

thank you @mimpinightmare for these questions!!! <3 everyone’s been doing them so honestly I’ve been feelin kind of left out😞

ANYWAY:

How did you enter this small, niche football fandom of ours??

my sister introduced me to it about a year ago! At first I was annoyed, but after enough episode replays, sadly, I was obsessed

Youngest memory you have of the show?? like I said, I’m pretty new to it and didn’t watch it growing up (I was a wild kratts kid). I do remember asking my sister what she was watching that summer evening, and I looked over her shoulder, and it was the first ep😭

Which character from Supa Strikas would you DIE FOR, and Why?

I LOVE COOL JOE!!! (and the matador guy ig) JOE IS SO TOO SILLY FOR THE REST OF THEM I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!! ><

honorable mentions: ms Altivo, eagle eye, inyo, and brenda

Out of all the coaches, which one do you wish to KNOCK some sense into them?

unpopular opinion, but literally Coach. HE LITERALLY CARES ABOUT SOCCER HMORE THAN HIS TEAM HALF THE TIME LIKE ITS ACTUALLY INSANE!! :((

Favorite episode of the show?? (you can list more than 1, if you want)

TOO MANY!!: living the el life, greetings in sunny ferituvia, fastest gloves in the west, spinner takes all, total replay, cool aid, fly hard, on klaus inspection, strika chord (basically s6)

Out of all the background characters from Supa Strikas, which one you wish to come back as a recurring character?

kat or the guy who pretended to be shakes dad in strika chord. They’re both so intresting and should have appeared more. (also eagle eye. even though he technically is recurring, he doesn’t get enough screen time💔 he’s so cool)

THANKS AGAIN!!💗