#so he doesn't wear them. and he doesn't leave his apartment except to hunt or go to work occasionally. (rayne is the austism/ocd vampire)

[stabbyfoxandrew]

you know what's funny is how i break Me into my ocs.

like i got a guy with backpain, one with depression, one with ocd, one with adhd. half of them are autistic and the other half are adhd

and i didn't like do that on purpose because i created them all before i even know what most of that was :'))

[vixen7243]

Mirror

When ever Price has a small meeting or chat in his office and the door is closed, everyone always gets confused by the full length mirror hanging on the back side of it. Wondering how he got it in and what the hell it's purpose would be, Price didn't seem like a vain man, and it's not like he doesn't wear anything outside of the 5-6 different shirts and 4-5 different pants. Even his own task force was confused by the mirror when they first saw it.... well all of them except for you. You knew very well why he had it, he showed you why he got it many, many ,many times. Smiling to yourself as Kyle and Johnny wonder if their captain actually sleeps in his office like they always joke about and where he could be hiding his bed. Sitting in the office with everyone, the two continued to ask Price about the mirror, all while he stole little glances at you, who in fact was biting your own lip to suppress the growing smirk as you stared at the mirror last nights escapades running through your mind.

Looking at John and the way his eyes darkened when you finally looked to him made you fully smile, knowing he was thinking about last night as well. The way he had you sitting on his desk, forcing you to look into the mirror as he played with you cunny, one hand slowly unbuttoning your blouse while he kissed a trail down your neck and suckling on the skin on your shoulder leaving hickys that no one will see. Smiling as your moved your hips to meet his fingers you focused on his fingers dipping into you. "Such a needy little sergeant. What would the others do if they knew how wet you get when being put on display? " Groaning you looked up to his dark eyes, drool slowly building at the corner or your lips. "Want them to sit here and watch as I break you apart, mirror giving the beautiful display that they will watch?" Huffing you looked at the mirror, god he was addicted to the thing, loved making you watch him ruin you. He had one in his room, put one in yours, which you had no clue at all how he got into your room to set it up but you excepted it when he fucked you stupid that night. God he even set one up on every room in your shared home, which no one knew about. How you two could secretly date behind your teams back without them knowing for a year and a half you couldn't figure out, considering Johnny always tried to hit on you and Kyle loved the hunt and getting you before anyone else or so he says. Simon, he's the watcher, you weren't sure if he suspected anything and if he was interested but you figured you would leave him be rather than accidently spilling the beans.

Glancing at said watcher, you froze, you knew under that baclava that he was smiling, his eyes were squinted and as he looked between you and the mirror then to John you knew, he some how knew. As you all were dismissed, John asked you to stay back, saying he needed to ask you some things on a form you turned in. Simon leaned towards you momentarily as he walk passed you, "If your that into mirrors visit my room tonight."

Eyes widening momentarily you watched as he walked out of the office, looking at you winking as he shut the door, your reflect looking right back at you. Spinning your head to John who walked around the desk and leaned against it arms crossed. "What a little tease sergeant."

---

Idk just word vomit and a need to get this at least started.🤷🏼‍♀️

[yanandreckless]

Rub A Dub Dub, Astartes in the tub 1/2

I am reposting part 1 of this since I managed to accidentally delete the post from my blog yesterday. Thank you again @sleepyfan-blog !

"Now, wait here. This is Prince's home after all, and I think you're scaring him, I need to take care of it."

Strix nods sharply, standing still next to the bedroom door, his back straight and his hands still behind it.

"Hey baby." I enter the bathroom sheepishly to find Prince curled up in the corner of the shower, his eyes wide.

"Don't worry, chubbykins, we just have a new buddy! Everything is just fine!" I crouch in front of the shower and Prince is sniffing the air with apparent distaste, curling up even more into himself.

"I know, he stinks a lot, doesn't he? Worse than you did when I found you in a food coma with half my pantry ripped apart." Prince chitters. Strix hisses from outside, seemingly offended that you're shit-talking him.

"We need to bathe him. He promised to play nice, so you have nothing to worry about, alright? Want me to take you back to your bed?" I outstretch my arms for Prince to crawl into my embrace and he's hesitant, his snout wrinkling as he sniffs the air. Eventually he does let me carry him and clings to me hard with his little paws. Strix is looking up at us as we pass him, shifting his weight from foot to foot anxiously and fiddling with the marten hide over his left shoulder, a small displeased whine escaping him. I set Prince down into his bed in the living room and head back for the bathroom. I don't see Strix at first but I then I hear this sound like ceramics against metal and I see him pacing about in the shower, leaving specks of dirt everywhere.

"Oh, good boy, you're already in the tub!" He stops his pacing and I roll up the sleeves of my sweater before opening a far right cabinet, the one that stores all the items that aren't used on a daily basis.

"Alright, here's unscented pet shampoo, here's a skunk deodorizer, here's a scrubbing brush and... maybe this loofah?" I pull out a new loofah from the packaging. Strix is looking at it curiously.

"I also do have some supplies to maintain Astartes armor but I suppose we need to clean it first. Can we even wash your armor? Does it rust?" Strix shakes his head sharply. Oh wow. Great news!

"Ok, then it can be scrubbed, I have this, that could work." I pull out a tub of cleaning paste. Strix is still remaining calm.

"However..." I say pensively: "I suspect your bad smell is not due to mud caked to your armor or anything. I suspect it's all the... jewelry you wear. And also I suspect the inside of your armor is... in need of a clean."

Strix stiffens, growls.

"Don't growl at me, you can't be adorning yourself with roadkill and-" Another snarl.

"Okay, okay, prey!" He nods in a "that's more like it" fashion.

"In either case, these are dead things that stink! And if you hunt and run around in that armor day after day and night after night, it stinks on the inside too!"

I give him some time to process my words and I can see the moment he finally sighs and relaxes his shoulders. He starts to unclasp the marten hide draped across his body. He's surprisingly careful with it and once it's off, he seems hesitant to put it anywhere. I outstretch my hand for it:

"Don't worry, we can keep it safe, but we will have to find a way to deodorize it." He relents and hands me his macabre stole. Various rodent and bird skulls, as well as insect carapaces, are next. I carefully hold them on my palm before I deposit them all in a soap box I emptied moments prior:

"Okay, we'll deal with that later. Can you start on your armor now?"

Strix is hesitant. He shifts his weight from foot to foot and huffs nervously. I had read that Astartes faces typically look pretty much like those of humans, with some notable exceptions where mutations are concerned. But Night Lords should look fairly human still, if overly pale.

"Come on, I'm sure you're an adorable boy." I coax him and he stomps his foot a little on the tub, turning away from me in a rush. He growls when I laugh:

"Now now, there's no need to be shy, come on." I didn't think the slight baby voice would work, but Strix sighs and reaches up.

[justabeewithapen]

:0 if you have ideas for a maskless hero drawing then i want to see it! but if not then what would the others reactions be if they see him without the mask(considering TLQ didnt know that it was a mask i think the others would have the same idea except for contrarian)?

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! I had these grand visions of drawing all of them, then that task was so daunting I kept pushing this back. I didn't draw everyone, but I did draw the most important one. Firstly, the list of people who knew Hero's helmet wasn't his face: Smitten - While a peaceful creature himself (unless righteous justice is needed) Smitten has seen the after-math of other employees from less kindly monsters. His first and only concern when seeing Hero was fixing that man's horrible haircut. No one knows how he learned to cut hair considering his head is a skull, but I don't think anyone is brave enough to ask. Cold - One of the less peaceful monsters, he's blown a few heads off employees before and has picked up on helmets because of how they shatter. He thinks they're more like some sort of artificial shell employees wear for protection like they do the nutcracker body, and they're not far off! Cold would mock Hero for willingly leaving his protective casing and then would be tackled by TLQ as he loads his shotgun Contrarian - Being a masked they obviously know how people work. If he ran into Hero without his helmet he wouldn't be too different. Assuming Hero lets them, they would be far more touchy-feely and grabby, and more of that 'blood' substance might leak from their face on instinct. They wouldn't convert him, but it would be more obvious the urge is there. Skeptic - While he can't see he has pieced together from the way Hero talks that he wears something over his face. Skeptic envisions it more like a carapace situation like bugs, physically apart of Hero and hiding the squishy undersides. If Hero allowed (he would but he would be very anxious) I think Skeptic would want to sniff and feel Hero's face with his own to get an idea of it. He would also probably suggest Hero get his hair preened by Cheated because he is very good at it. Stubborn - Stubborn has eaten a lot more employees than Hero would be comfortable knowing about. It doesn't make any difference to Stubborn, but he would make fun of Hero's "baby face" because he doesn't have any scars. Secondly, people who did not know the helmet came off: Broken - Broken is always very touchy-feely when interacting with Hero. Because his acid is so light Hero's suit is perfectly capable of resisting it for pretty long periods of time. The same does not apply to skin however. Broken would probably try and climb up Hero like it normally does, only to be startled out when Hero freaks out because their goop burns on skin. They would """"run"""" off to mope until Hero finds them to promise there aren't any hard feelings. Cheated - Like Stubborn he immediately comments on Hero's lack of scars. While startled to find out the helmet wasn't Hero's face, Cheated is pretty quick to accept that fact and move on. He would offer to preen Hero's hair and would actually be more comfortable around Hero. Having a face to read emotions off of makes him more comfortable, even though Hero normally has a very expressive voice. Hunted - Hunted already has fairly bad eyesight, so the only thing this changes for him is that it is slightly easier to separate Hero's head from the background of facilities. Normally Hunted stares at Hero's chest when they talk because his bright green suit is a good spot to focus on. The thought Hero also has an exoskeleton is easy to understand, but Hunted would be freaked out at the idea Hero is putting back on his old 'molts' instead of moving to new ones!! Do you want to be less protected squishy friend???? Opportunist - Similar to Hunted it is not hard for him to accept that Hero has an exoskeleton. He is less caught up on the removable aspect, but he is suddenly very interested in the helmet itself. There is no way he didn't try and steal it at least once... or twice. Paranoid - Very much freaked out and bothered that the helmet isn't his face. The first time Hero takes it off Paranoid has a breakdown trying to figure out why Hero is

[shootinwebs]

Headcanon: Alastor: Bad Wisdom

( Content Warnings: CSA, SA, child abuse, self-harm, cults, forced parenthood, cannibalism, child murder, domestic violence, Valentino & Angel Dust, generally really fucked up things )

So I have this headcanon that both Angel Dust and Alastor have survived sexual abuse/assault and are struggling to recover, but they both have very different ways of surviving (or lackthereof).

They both wear a persona, but Alastor's is much more different from his true self than Angel's. And Alastor's persona is to make himself less approachable, while Angel's is much the opposite.

Unlike Angel, who is actually genuine a lot of the time, most of Alastor is fake. His constant smile, his omnipotence, even his dialect and the way he talks. The difference between Alastor in his life and afterlife are contrasting enough, but the difference between afterlife Alastor and living Alastor before his radio career are night and day.

When Alastor was in his mid twenties and younger, he was meek, quiet, and gloomy, hanging on his mother's apron strings until she died. No one from his later successful life would've recognized him.

Both he and his mother were abused by his father. For Alastor, since infancy. He was fifteen when his father killed his mother.

He ran away from home. He was unhoused for a while, until he was taken in by a group of unrelated people living in a somewhat dilapidated home. At first, it was better than nothing. But the group soon started to reveal their cult-like behavior.

This would end up being, Alastor felt, an even worse abusive situation than with his father.

Alastor fathered a child through one instance of this abuse. He already knew what would happen to the child if she grew up in that house. So, soon after she was born, he took her and ran away, living in derelict buildings, abandoned cars, the woods. He named her Zuri. He had to steal to feed her (and himself).

He found and settled on the warmest, sturdiest, most sustainable shelter: an abandoned radio tower in the woods. When he had to leave Zuri there while he went to town for supplies, he could always find his way back to her by the height of the tower and its reflective red light casing at the top.

Alastor loved and cared for Zuri more than anything. She became his sole reason to live.

But when she was ten months old, the people from the house spotted Alastor in town getting supplies, and they followed him back to the radio tower.

They burst in all at once. They shot Zuri, tore her to pieces, and ate her.

And then, his only reason for living was revenge.

He hunted down each resident one by one, killed them, and ate them. But it didn't help. The absolute devastation of the murder of his daughter had him in a fugue state, caring for a rotting fawn carcass riddled with maggots, for weeks.

Every day, he would read the papers and listen to the radio to find every person in Louisiana who had caused harm to children, so he could murder and cannibalize them.

He partly was able to start his success in entertainment because of the money he stole from the people he killed. He needed the uniform of monetary prosperity to even be considered. He used the money to recreate his entire image. New wardrobe, new haircut. An apartment in the city. Movie tickets so he could learn how to imitate a celebrity voice. And finally, his own studio.

In life, he understood very well that the most reliable way to keep himself safe was to be powerful. So... money.

Alastor never recovered or learned how to cope. His mother was already long dead by the time he finally processed what he'd been through at the hands of his abusers. He had no one to confide in. He didn't know what to do except to "let time heal the wounds."

Alastor self-harms. Much less so in his afterlife, but he still has times when he feels completely helpless and doesn't know what else to do. This is where some of his scars are from, but most of them are from abuse by others.

Zestial, the only person Alastor has slept with more than once, has seen the scars. But he doesn't ask about them. They have a very trustworthy relationship (although it's almost exclusively sexual). Otherwise, he prefers to keep as much of his clothes on as possible when he sleeps with anyone (not just because of the scars but also as a personal preference).

There's always a high chance he'll lose his temper if someone does or says something that reminds him of the abuse. It's triggering. Even when it's so much as reminding him that he's capable of getting hurt (i.e. Husk reminding him that he's also under a contract).

Rosie has been one of few people who have touched Alastor at exactly the wrong time and lived.

He completely snapped at her and yelled, "Do not fucking touch me!!"

He never worked up the courage to apologize to her about it. She really wishes he would just talk to her. She knows he was abused, but he won't talk about it in a productive way.

Another incident was with Charlie.

Charlie said, "I'm so sorry about Angel's aggressive... invitations."

Alastor absolutely lost it, bursting into laughter in a particularly eerie way.

"You think that's aggressive!? Don't be stupid!!"

He laughed so hard that he had tears streaming down his face.

All Charlie could do was slowly back away and leave him alone, as much as she wanted to be helpful. It was very similar to when she tried to help Angel at Valentino's studio, when she just had to realize that something was completely out of control.

Alastor knows about Angel's contract with Valentino. He had already learned what Valentino was like because of Vox, before Alastor met Angel. Vox's collaboration with Valentino was a major reason why Alastor rejected Vox's offer for a spot with the Vees.

Alastor is the most powerful person Husk knows, so Husk went to him to ask if there was anything he could do about Angel's contract.

Alastor unexpectedly snapped at him, much like with Rosie. "No, there is nothing I can do! There is nothing I can do! Never ask me that again!"

Eventually, Alastor did open up to Angel about his own experiences with sexual violence. Knowing what was happening to Angel was when it finally dawned on him that he wasn't getting anywhere with his own mental strength.

But being on whomever's "leash" certainly isn't helpful to him in his recovery. The last thing he needs is to feel controlled by someone.

The person in charge of Alastor's deal knows about Zuri, and one way they torment Alastor is by keeping around empty cribs and children's toys, and whistling nursery rhymes. And this is only one part of the continuous psychological torture they use to keep him compliant.

He would never admit it, but Charlie is indeed like a daughter to him. He wasn't saying it just to mess with Lucifer. Charlie heals that wound about Zuri. Sometimes he even sees Zuri's face when he looks at Charlie.

[toku-explained]

Round 2: ID Core Hunt

New Generation Stars: As Orb is thinking of his oldest friend/enemy, Z approaches, with questions about the same, his old captain. Orb discusses aspects of his past with Juggler, and Z his time with Hebikura, but both are surprised when data from the future comes of Jugglus Juggler.

Geats: Neon shows Sara a list of the other participants, she is surprised to learn Ace is among them. She doesn't realise Keiwa already remembers. Keiwa is annoyed at Kekera for getting her involved, accepts she asked for it, but wants her to remain unaware of his involvement. Sueru announces the next DR round, across 3 days participants are to recover as many ID Cores as possible from the Jamato, the player who gathers the most Cores will be allowed to choose another player to eliminate, giving the opportunity to remove Buffa. Ziin doesn't want the DGP to go, but will support Ace anyway, giving him the Laser Raise Rifle again. Neon and Sara work together and find 3 around the area the Jama Garden was, Keiwa stalks them in stealth, and when Buffa attacks uses stealth to throw him off. Daichi finds a while horde. At the Salon, Daichi makes excuses and gives Sara a huge number, asking if she wins to eliminate Buffa, Keiwa uses a Tanuki statue to pretend to be Pochichi, Sara's supporter. Ace goes to Buffa in free time, Michinaga promises him he's next. On her way home, Sara feels someone following her before catching Keiwa, we can tell by the suit who was following her. Daichi points Sara and Neon to an area he claims hasn't been scouted yet, when tells Michinaga where they'll be. However, Ace goes to them, encouraging them not to be so trusting, and that his fight is with the DGP staff, not them. Michinaga goes to Daichi, finding his selfishness the worst. Tsumuri cannot understand why Sueru would do all this, he appears to tell her a Navigator's opinion is unneeded and that they will be cutting off this world regardless, before she is approached by two familiar faces. Buffa defeats Nadge-Sparrow, who swears revenge even as he destroys the Core enough to retire. Beroba and Kekera, watching, worry their planned fun is being ruined, but find a new avenue when Archimedel turns up alive, overpowering Buffa, whose new powers have no effect on Jamato, and claims the ID Core. Tsumuri is surprised by Niram and Hareruya, received by Sueru's authority, Niram tells them to prepare to leave this world as soon as the DR concludes.

Kingohger: Deathnarok seems happy despite everything, he and Kamejin are approached by a man in white robe wearing a spider mask, and discuss the next part of the legend, that after Legend King-Ohger is born, the 3 Greater Guardians will be raised to the sky, and the world turn upside down. Kaguragi has turned Gira's "body" over to Racles, the kings plan to have him reveal himself at the funeral and discredit Racles by summoning Legend King-Ohger in front of the crowd. The day of the funeral comes, but at the appropriate moment neither the pall bearers, nor Gira, can open the coffin, due to suddenly being wrapped in silk thread. The hooded man appears, implying to Racles he's with the Bugnarok, before stealing the coffin, and letting Gira out elsewhere, and suggesting to him that the Bugnarok aren't humanities true enemy. When the latest giant attacks Gira forms Legend King-Ohger to defeat it, but Legend King-Ohger is then blown apart by her offspring, allowing Deathnarok to grab the 3 Greater Guardians in a growth and raise them to the sky, Gira and the others helpless, except to Deathnarok's horror nothing happens, and the hooded man reveals he has used Deathnarok's action to grab all 3 Guardians' souls, which he places in the Genomix Shooter, which produces a key he uses the remove his mask, revealing himself as the seemingly human Jeremie Barastie, as the mask becomes a sword, he introduces himself as a storyteller, and blasts Deathnarok, still horrified at being tricked. The Kings are left confused afterwards, as Jeremie's narration reveals this is the story of 5 Kings, and of the man who will become King, himself.

Metropolis: With Shuraomaru now jailed, Yabai Kamen is frustrated, and Shaberryman is worried about the quality of the remaining members. Gulf decides it's his turn. Hyakutoban is currently stationed by a construction site, and Akuta talks about the request to deal with him from Sakurada and Yoriki. Great 2 has just finished serving customers, and is sent to deliver pizza, only to find his bike being stolen by Yuz-Yuz, and Gallia snatches the pizza. Shiraishi and Akuta have just finished lunch when the criminals speed by, Akuta pursuing in the car, leaving Hyakutoban behind. Unable to find his brother, and fearing he was arrested, Gulf starts a rampage. Hyakutoban and Great 2, both chasing on foot, meet and are attacked by Gulf. Akuta has detained Gallia and Yuz-Yuz, and is calling it in, Mako and Kireko are passing, and seeing only the bike, worry Great 2 got himself arrested. They realise he isn't there, Mako recognising Gallia, but Akuta leaves the bike with them when he has to attend the battle. In his enraged state, Gulf is overpowering, but Hyakutoban finds resolve right as Great 2 decides to demonstrate what is means to be the successor to the Galaxy Greats, and school Hyakutoban in doing a proper introduction. Akuta arrives, and disengages Shiraishi's transformation, donning SP-110Px himself, even disengaging the SSA system when it restrains him. He holds Gulf himself, right until Gallia runs up and tells his brother he wasn't being arrested, calming him. With SP-110Px harming him, Akuta returns it to Shiraishi. Yuz-Yuz summons her robots, who fight Great 2 while Hyakutoban fights Gulf, fighting expertly with Akuta's guidance until a now enraged Gulf breaks the Wappa, but they take him down together. Yuz-Yuz asks why they keep arresting her teammates, she seems to understand but decides she hates Shiraishi and escapes again. After seeing the discussion between Shiraishi and Akuta, Great 2 returns to Pizza Cooc, finding Mako and Kireko have returned the bike, though MAKO then accidentally crashes it into some boxes.

[mangodelorean]

Bad and Crazy - Episode 03 recap/musings

[Can I just marry the opening titles already?]

A few seconds before The Big Kick, we freeze-frame and refresh our memory: Helmet Man has been Su Yeol the whole time. Unfreeze, and Su Yeol knocks down Assemblyman Do and gets in a few good slaps - even calling him a murderer - before Bong Pil hauls him off, which is enough to snap him out of it and realise just what the ever-loving fuck he's done. Aghast, he apologises profusely, then points at Helmet Man (i.e., nothing), and bolts in his direction with other cops giving chase. Quite frankly, it's the only reasonable way out of this.

A short distance away, he finds Helmet Man (who doesn't wear the helmet this entire episode, thank god), and doesn't waste any time cuffing him, to which Helmet Man retorts that, of course someone like Su Yeol should be locked up. Su Yeol demands to know who Helmet Man is and why he's doing this, but Helmet Man counters with just...laughing and picking his nose with his suddenly free hands. Su Yeol barely has any time to be disgusted, confused, and/or furious before he realises the cuffs are now on him instead, and makes another run for it when everyone else catches up to him.

Back at the scene of The Big Kick, Hui Gyeom gets a call. Meanwhile, Assemblyman Do is nursing his bruises with an ice pack in Bong Pil's office. The former asks the latter why Su Yeol turned on him, but Bong Pil is just as flummoxed. The Assemblyman tells him that, since the election just ended, things won't turn out well for either of them if whatever is going on ends poorly or is leaked to the press.

In the car park, Hui Gyeom finds Su Yeol lurking sheepishly behind a pillar, where she unlocks his cuffs and asks him why on earth he did that nonsense back there. Su Yeol explains about the necklace and its contents, but adds that he's lost it [I'll say] and blames it on Helmet Man ("that jerk") grabbing it and jumping in the river. But he's also thinking out loud about the realisation that Helmet Man is him ("No, I'm me"), and then switches between talking about cuffing Helmet Man and how the cuffs hurt his own wrists, the big dumb baby.

At this point, Hui Gyeom is rightfully furious - it's the key piece of evidence in Yu Na's murder, with implications on the investigation of (the slain cop) Min Su's death, and this feeble, lanky tube can't seem to figure out what he's talking about. She tries to reason with him - if he does't find that necklace, his career is toast.

The pair head over to his apartment, but they catch wind of the aforementioned pursuing cops in the hallway. When they leave, the two sneak inside, and use the torches on their phone to avoid detection. Er, unfortunately, that doesn't work, because it's only been, like, two seconds and the cops are still outside the building and CAN SEE EVERYTHING like a bloody Timelord-meme rave.

Upstairs, Hui Gyeom gets Su Yeol to open his safe, noting that the passcode is her birthday [Hmm]. Inside, they find Helmet Man's helmet! And... a pile of framed photos of Hui Gyeom and Su Yeol from when they were dating. Awks. Su Yeol does Confused Pikachu Face and tries to babble out an explanation, but the Su-Yeol-hunting cops have come back up. They search everywhere except the end closet, where the exes are doing 7 Minutes of Oh Shit I Hope They Don't Find Us but, luckily, the cops leave, thinking nobody's there. Once the coast is clear, the two emerge from the closet, with Su Yeol embarrassed to realise that he's been holding Hui Gyeom's hand. Heh.

At the bridge, Hui Gyeom lambasts Su Yeol's original plan to deep-six the necklace. He admits it: "I was going to pretend it wasn't my job and turn a blind eye to it. I didn't want that case to complicate my life!" Bit late, now. Hui Gyeom, in what's possibly the most apt character description of Su Yeol so far, declares, "That's more like you. You piece of trash." She asks him again why he kicked Assemblyman Do but, instead of an answer, he shuffles off down the riverbank, takes off half his upper clothes, and wades/wobbles into the water. It looks like it's cold and dirty, or maybe he's just being a bitch. Probably both. Hui Gyeom watches in disbelief/second-hand embarrassment as Su Yeol pratfalls gracelessly in the dark, then leaves his pathetic, soggy, algae-festooned arse to shiver as she drives off. Su Yeol doesn't even fight it, and instead, trudges over to plop down on a rock, lamenting that his life is over.

A miserable Su Yeol turns up at his mother's restaurant, where she makes him porridge. Aww. He picks at it tearfully while telling her not to worry in advance without disclosing what's wrong, and checks that the family debt is paid off. He's worried. She asks him what's wrong - did Dong Yeol cause trouble? - but he spots the necklace and, in floods of happy-tears, hugs Mama Ryu and says that everything is going to be ok. It's a sweet moment.

The next morning, Bong Pil nearly runs over Su Yeol, who's crouching in contrition outside of his garage. The latter shows the former the necklace footage, but it's too damaged and too dark to confirm 100% that it's Assemblyman Do or that it caught him in the act, and that if Do fobs this off as just a lookalike, then they'll have nothing. Bong Pil says that Do might very well end up President one day, and Su Yeol greases that wheel with yes, the future President murdered a woman, and if their team cracks the case, it'll be a huge career boon for them. He also throws in that Hui Gyeom/Narcotics is already on the case, and they shouldn't let them steal their thunder. Damn, he's really trying everything.

But Bong Pil isn't entirely convinced.

Su Yeol: I got the bait, hooked the needle, and threw the line. Then a big fish bit! And this catch... What if the others take the fish? You're sure it won't drive you mad?

Bong Pil: If you indeed caught a shark, it will bite the bait and sink the boat you're on. Don't you know that?

But Su Yeol persists that they only need to find whoever disposed of Yu Na's body, and from there, they'll be golden.

Cut to Bong Pil relaying this to the Commissioner, the two alone in the former's office. They both agree to let Su Yeol take on the case because a) It'll be accolades all around if he succeeds b) He'll take the fall if he fails. Oof.

At Detective Do's place, the Assemblyman hears of Su Yeol's possible suspension, but also the murder investigation. He then turns his anger to his cousin, who's just feeding his little fucking fishes, man. When the detective admits he can't find who disposed of Yu Na's body (i.e., the van owner he secretly bribed to leave the country), the Assemblyman takes a peek at the wee fishies (uh-oh), taps on the glass and calls one a murder (oh no), then says the same to the detective before beating him and violently dunking his head in the fish tank, sending a couple of the little swimmy bois out onto the floor. In an increasing bout of rage, the Assemblyman tells his cousin to keep a low profile or he'll kill them all, while the detective lies gasping for air, much like the goldfish flailing on the floor across from him. Yikes.

Elsewhere, Su Yeol takes the memory card from his dashcam (and ignores a call from Hui Gyeom). He shows the footage - of him jumping on his car again but this time on the bridge - to the dodgy doctor [He went back??] to prove that it wasn't a dream.

Doc: "So it turns out, this lunatic was you."

Ha. At this point, Su Yeol's fully on board with Helmet Man being a non-corporeal identity, and begs for help. The doctor asks if he has any childhood trauma, to which Su Yeol balks [Hmm] snaps that he's not there to write his autobiography, and asks if he's going to help him or not.

Treatment comes in the next scene by way of hypnosis, and we see Su Yeol experiencing a disjointed nightmare: He's a child, there's a slamming door, he's running away from something in what looks like a camp of multiple tents, he or someone else speeds away on a bicycle, then a final slam of the door from before. An unnverved Su Yeol wakes up with a start... to find the doctor snoring in the chair opposite. Ha.

He wakes him up, and the doc tells him he was actually resisting hypnosis. Su Yeol asks about the meaning of his nightmare, but the doc changes the subject to Helmet Man, asking if Su Yeol knows his name. Su Yeol is not impressed:

Su Yeol: Was I supposed to ask that jerk his name? "How do you do? What's your name?" Like that?

Doc: Please calm down. You see, alternate personalities want to be acknowledged, too.

Su Yeol says he can't believe he has to actually wait for Helmet Man to show up again, but the doc has a bit of advice: to avoid stress [Lmao], to which Su Yeol replies by yelling to which the doc, in turn, responds by yelling even louder for him to calm down (erm), which leads to more back-and-forth yelling. The doc storms off to his medicine stationery drawer and hands Su Yeol another unmarked bottle of pills, advising him to take one whenever he feels stressed. He sends Su Yeol off with a visualisation technique/mantra to try to avoid stress: "That jerk is a fake. I'm the real one, the one and only. He's not real!"

The face Su Yeol pulls in response is peak 2021 energy, but he reluctantly gives it a go anyway.

On his way home, while stuck in traffic, Helmet Man appears at Su Yeol's door like a terrifying pop-up, sweetly demanding to be let in. But Su Yeol isn't finding this a goer and immediately pops one of the sus pills and does the mantra from before. And it seems to work, because Helmet Man has fucked off, and Su Yeol's muppety "oooh!" face has been living in my head rent-free since last Friday.

But, shortly afterwards, when he pops out of his car to get petrol, Helmet Man is waiting for him in the passenger seat. Despite the other's protests, Su Yeol pops yet another pill [YOU'RE DRIVING, YOU SPOON!], does the mantra, and poof! Helmet Man's gone again. Cue another Su Yeol happy face, only this time way looser and sillier.

At home, Su Yeol, now a lucid assemblage of man-shaped noodles, stumbles into bed, moaning pleasantly about how nice everything feels [Well, no shit, you're high]. Too bad, because Helmet Man's shown up as the cuddly big spoon behind him. Su Yeol jumps out of bed and tries to repeat his Helmet-Man-ridding ritual, but Helmet Man, who hasn't vanished, mocks his pill-popping by saying he'll "die at this rate". He grabs Su Yeol and forces the entire bottle of pills in his mouth since it seems he wants to die, but Su Yeol manages to free himself and spit everything out. In a stupor, he struggles to stay upright and asks Helmet Man his name:

Su Yeol: You psycho... Hey you... What's your name?

Helmet Man: Me? [rolls seductively] Why do you ask?

Su Yeol: You little--! Your name... What is your name?

Helmet Man: [shyly] K.

Su Yeol: "Gay?"

And there went my coffee. K corrects him but, before Su Yeol can ruminate on how odd of a name this is, he belly-flops into bed and passes out. Aw, it's been a long day, pet.

Next morning, Hui Gyeom is banging, then kicking on the front door, before correctly guessing - to her dismay - that his door passcode is still her birthday. Su Yeol is still asleep even after she calls out to him, so she rouses him with a sound slap. Ha. She tells him that she's there because last night he begged her for help in tears, but he clearly doesn't remember (I think we can guess who texted her). He changes the subject to ask her how she got in, to which she replies that the code is her birthday, duh, and also why hasn't he changed it? He whines that he shouldn't have to, because it's his place, but she changes tack to tell him that she knows he found the necklace. He's not best pleased.

Hui Gyeom watches the footage through visible discomfort, and reveals (clearly quite reluctantly) to Su Yeol that the Min Su was trying to take down the Assemblyman. Hui Gyeom is about to go to the Assemblyman and let him have it, but Su Yeol (literally) holds her back and tells her she doesn't want to be in the same mess that he's in. She asks what he's going to do, but he dismisses her and says his team is on it, not hers, to which she responds by aiming a very large glass bottle at his head. He relents and agrees to work together. Ha.

Elsewhere, at Van Owner Man's hideout (not the premises from Episode 2), said Van Owner tells Detective Do on the phone that they're not leaving the country as previously agreed, and to stop calling. In rushes Su Jan (the foreign worker who scolded Su Yeol for being a rude dickhead), who says they're still looking for the mysterious helmetted man, but they're coming up empty.

But meanwhile, Su Yeol is outside Van Owner Man's premises, and steps in to survey the oily, deserted surroundings. He recalls the little fighty-fight he had with them, because you thirsty bastards want to see more of a primal-screaming, oiled-up, leather-clad LDW, but a light shoulder tap from Jae Seon (yay!) snaps him out of it. Su Yeol is still a bit sore from their last conversation:

Su Yeol: [pouting] You treated me like a piece of trash for not helping Gyeong Tae.

Jae Seon: When did I treat you like a piece of trash? [quieter] You're not that bad...

Su Yeol: What, then? Am I recyclable?

Ha. I love these two.

Amid slipping and sliding in the oil like a pair of drunken Charleston dancers, Jae Seon tells Su Yeol that Ma, the Van Owner, froze his phone and cards and went off-grid, and that he had a history of smuggling, illegal brokering, and corpse disposal. Su Yeol checks the closet where he found the necklace but, of course, it's cleaned out. He tells Jae Seon to follow up by finding out a list of relevant black market dealers.

At the hospital, Detective Do relieves two cops on guard duty outside a still-comatose Gyeong Tae's room. But before he can do more than just look at the boy, in pops Su Yeol, who reads guilt or fear on the other man's face. The two men trade barbs, and Su Yeol warns the detective to turn himself in and reveal who he's covering for because, even though the Assemblyman could get out of this, there's no way the detective ever could:

Su Yeol: Think wisely. Staying on a boat with a hole will only cost you your life.

Detective Do: What about the boat you're on? Is it safe? Let's see whose boat sinks first.

Back at Su Yeol's flat, there's a loud bang. But, fear not! It's Dong Yeol with a party popper to celebrate Su Yeol's birthday. Aww. But Little Brother is far from amused, and grumbles that it's good for Dong Yeol that he didn't still have his gun.

Cut to a very delicious-looking cake, candles burning atop it, and a proper feast laid out on Su Yeol's kitchen counter. Big Bro has made seaweed soup ("from scratch") for Su Yeol's birthday and is heckin excited about it. This is so impossibly sweet. Of course, Su Yeol responds with a sigh and grimace - "It's your birthday, not mine" - but Dong Yeol counters that it's both, and it's here we get the reveal that Mama Ryu adopted Su Yeol as a tween, and gave both boys the same birthday. Su Yeol starts in on the soup but deadpans confusion at the boiled egg yolk, and throws Dong Yeol out.

But, post-shower a short while later, Su Yeol glances at the cake and it takes him back to that first birthday with Dong Yeol and Mama Ryu: He's a kid, a little uncomfortable with the attention, the singing, all of it. Dong Yeol gets a gift but he immediately tells Su Yeol to ask Mama Ryu for the same thing - which she produces immediately, wrapped and all. Aww, these two Ryus.

Eyes brimming with tears but not falling, an adult Su Yeol recalls that, at that same birthday, he asked to call Mama Ryu Eomma/Mum:

Su Yeol: Can I call you Eomma, too?

Dong Yeol: [smiling] Yes, you can call her Eomma, too.

Mama Ryu: Yes! Of course you can. [gives him the gift] Here, this is for you. Now, call me Eomma. Go on.

[pause]

Su Yeol: [hesitates] Eomma...

Mama Ryu: [excited] Yes! My dear son. I have a younger son, now. [hugs him] Thank you for becoming a member of the family. Happy birthday.

[Excuse me while I get rid of these onions]

Then, in a rare moment of non-dickery, Su Yeol walks up to Dong Yeol, who's fallen asleep on his couch (in his cooking apron), and gently drapes a blanket over him. Oh, my heart.

Elsewhere, a woman in a car is reading conversational English phrases from a book. In Russian, her driver asks her why she's bothering. In Korean, she replies that if you know English, you can get anywhere. She asks about Assemblyman Do, and her driver replies that he "took the drug we sold him and got himself in trouble". They talk about how their drug stash was stolen by "rats", and the woman muses icily about putting out "some rat poison". Oh, she's gonna be scary.

At home the next morning, Su Yeol tells a yawning Dong Yeol to choof off home, but aha! The yawn was a fake! Big Bro switfly unveils a robot toy from behind his back - the same as the one that the two brothers both got in Su Yeol's tearful birthday flashback. Su Yeol is perplexed, but Dong Yeol reminds him that Little Bro had texted him that he'd kill him if he didn't get him one. Hee. We know what's coming: Su Yeol snatches Dong Yeol's phone and reads "his" texts to him:

Do you have my birthday gift ready?

The transforming robot!

Get me the newest model, or you're so dead

Ryu Dong Yeol!

Are you asleep?

You crazy jerk! Get up! Go get a transforming robot for me. Now!!

[Excuse me while I guffaw my intestines out]

While Su Yeol is pondering how much K could possibly know about him [Duh, he's you], Dong Yeol asks him what he's going to do with "the other stuff" - "the things that are at the store", "that came with "Mum's necklace". Hoo, boy.

Off they go to the restaurant, where a big crate of jewellery is hidden behind the counter, which triggers a recollection: leathery Su Yeol marching out of the Van Owner's oily premises, crate atop his shoulder with a deranged smile on his face in a post-brawl high. Su Yeol calls Jae Seon for the aforementioned list of black-market dealers, but it's not yet ready. Dong Yeol feigns ignorance of the entire concept before setting up a fake e-commerce site and schooling an astonished Su Yeol on the intricacies of the Dark Web. He's a pro, with the nickname "East Fire". Lmao. Su Yeol warns him this might not be safe, but Dong Yeol tells him not to worry, right before Su Yeol gets a call.

Supernintendo Dickhead's been called in to the Munyang District Prosecutor's Office, as part of the aftermath of The Big Kick, but the prosecutor himself is, like, a biscuit older than In Seon. His name is Nam Eun Seok, and he really doesn't give a shit about Su Yeol, probably Su Yeol's shirt is so unbuttoned he might as well just wear deep Vs going forward. Or because he's a prick. Su Yeol glances at Jae Seon's text that Eun Seok's supervisor trained with Assemblyman Do [so he's probably already fucked].

Su Yeol tries introducing himself with his trademark charm and pleasantries, but when Eun Seok bats them away with an "I know", Su Yeol passive-aggressively asks, through a Karenny smile, what year the prosecutor graduated. Eun Seok: "None of your business." Ha! Eun Seok brags about his qualifications, but laments that it's not enough to get him "a single blind date lined up" before segueing into a rather brusque, unflattering summary of Su Yeol's family, which causes Su Yeol's fake smile to drop.

Eun Seok dives right in, citing a list of people who've bribed Su Yeol in the past, states how he knows he laundered some of the money through other accounts, including Dong Yeol's, and that he's in deep do-do. Definitely a threat, but also, he DOESN'T HAVE A SINGLE BLIND DATE LINED UP, but sorry, he's not angry or anything, he just gets mood swings.

Er. Anyway, he promises to investigate it "thoroughly" so he can get a promotion and get married, and advises Su Yeol to cooperate.

Elsewhere, Scary Cool Lady is tearing into some seafood in front of Assemblyman Do [nice callback to what he did to that poor fuckin fish], not making eye contact, not giving a shit about errant food particles or her messy hair. Oh, she's fuckin cool. The Assemblyman puts out feelers for help, but she throws back in his face something he'd said previously: that they should each just handle their own problems. The Assemblyman tosses her an envelope to "kill him" (it's not clear who yet), and makes to leave with a warning about her troubled, international past, but the door's not budging.

"I'm not done talking," she deadpans. She asks for a "delivery service" to mitigate their drug losses. Assemblyman Do laughs at her, asking if she's seriously going to risk just openly distributing drugs, to which she responds in Russian, "You don't think I can do it?" Her driver opens the door and calls him a "rat" in Russian. The Assemblyman tells him to "speak Korean". As he leaves, Scary Cool Lady remarks that, when she's in Korea, she's always "cold and hungry".

At Van Owner Man's hideout, the foreign workers find Dong Yeol's fake site but discover something in the photos that clearly names the pizza place's location. Dong Yeol, you dope.

On his way out, at night [How long did this take?], Su Yeol hears from Jae Seon over the phone that the prosecutor is going hard - combing through five years' of records of everything he's ever done, and probably more at this rate. He ignores a call from Dong Yeol only to answer the second one, seconds later, during which a sobbing Big Brother is begging for help: He's been kidnapped. And is upside down. Su Jan grabs the phone and Su Yeol recognises him as "that foreigner", and the former warns the latter to get there immediately while they're still "being nice". Van Owner asks to speak to Su Yeol but Su Jan's already hung up. Ha. The bad guys wander off to eat their takeaway, and a still-upside-down, still-weeping Dong Yeol begs to use the bathroom, but also wishes them well in enjoying their food. Hee.

Up creeps our intrepid Su Yeol, with all the stealth of a farting bear. He crawls back to his car to hide while grouching over the phone to Jae Seon, who's late, for getting in a fender bender. He tells Jae Seon to get back-up to move in with their lights and sirens off, because it's their last chance, that they have to do this "as quietly and as secretly as possible", and--

Oops. Su Jan's at the window and, almost immediately, Su Yeol is surrounded by the other workers who start smashing up what's left of his car. They yell at him to come out (which is probably what Su Yeol is hoping K will do), but Su Yeol manages to escape and runs into a nearby convenience store. Hiding behind a pile of boxes of "sweet potato shaped snacks", Su Yeol begs K to manifest. While he's waiting, he bottles one of the workers, then rams a full trolley into another and smacks him with a cooking pot. He topples an entire set of shelves onto two more, leaving Su Jan and three of the burliest members of the group left standing.

Su Yeol is swiftly hurled into a shelf of baby goods, but pivots with a... pack of diapers, warning the thugs that he "gets really scary" when he's angry. [Insert "no talk me i angy" kitten image] He tells them he's the cool helmet guy that smashed up their office, but Su Jan quite cleverly points out that, hey, if he's really that guy, then awesome, they can get rid of two dickheads for the price of one. To which Su Yeol responds: "How come your Korean is so good?" [I don't know, maybe because they're in fucking Korea, and this dude, an immigrant who achieved the Herculean task of mastering fluency in a foreign language in order to integrate to appease bigoted dickheads, should be congratulated for that, you fuckin twat badger?] Su Jan gets two of the thugs to down the shelf on him, and he's buried under a pile of sundries. Good.

Su Yeol wakes groggily to the sound of K nomming on potato chips, and the former whines at the latter for not showing up earlier [I'm getting Hulk in Thor: Ragnarok vibes]. K says he's embarrassed that Su Yeol can't fight. Su Yeol implores K to help, and he nods. Next thing we know, Su Yeol claws his way out from under the shelf by impressively and forcefully upending it (even though it's now empty, so, well... it's lighter), and he stands up, flexing his neck and shoulders in a very nonchalant, superhero, Imma-kick-your-ass way. And the thugs notice, because they look a tiny bit scared.

It's K's perspective now. He grabs two electric fly-swatters and beats up two thugs before trapping one's head in a giant mesh basket. He tries to punch the heaviest two but barely breaks skin, so he deftly ties up the pair with a garden hose and some nifty footwork. He pops into an aisle to grab a mini axe, but Su Jan knifes him in the back, asking him if he's "done playing". K stops another stab attempt with his hand before quipping, "No, I'm not. I want to play some more!". Both then scream at each other:

Su Jan: Don't laugh!

K: Don't tell me what to do!!

More screaming, but then it's Hui Gyeom to the rescue with a flying kick before she cuffs Van Owner Man. She asks Su Yeol if he's all right, to which he responds by snapping out of his K persona and crying about his mildly gnarly hand wound. She ties it with her handkerchief, and K pops back up behind Su Yeol, asking tenderly, "Is it her?"

Shortly after, the Van Man and his crew are arrested, and Hui Gyeom asks Su Yeol why he grabbed that knife, knowing he's a "chicken". But, before he can reply, she asks where Dong Yeol is. OOPS.

Cut to: poor Dong Yeol, still the wrong way up, with Hui Gyeom and Su Yeol rushing to help. Big Bro is suspended from a crane, so Hui Gyeom holds him steady while Su Yeol gets inside the vehicle. Like a fucking moron who will spend three whole minutes pulling a door that says "push" and then kicking it in anger, instead of pulling it down he starts the engine, lifts the crane UPWARDS, then finally brings it back down, but now poor Dong Yeol's wet himself. Su Yeol, probably not knowing what makes crotches wet, bends over and smells Dong Yeol's trousers before realising it's urine, then scolds his older brother for not being able to hold it in.

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Gyeong Tae's finger twitches.

At the station, Bong Pil and Su Yeol await Van Owner Man's testimony, confident they can go after both Do men once he names the detective. Bong Pil asks if he really can pull this off, but Su Yeol brags that he can ("You've seen me turn Norwegian mackerel into dried yellow corvina.") Bong Pil muses that it might actually be possible. I'm enjoying his Switzerland-like neutrality.

On the other side of the interrogation mirror, Su Yeol runs down Van Owner Man's list of possible charges to him, but cuts to the chase and asks who brought him Yu Na's body. Van Owner Man dodges the question, and Su Yeol calls his bluff, saying he'll add murder to the list. Van Owner Man relents, but before we hear what he says, we cut to Su Yeol bolting out of the building and telling Jae Seon, who's already in the car, to turn on the lights and siren.

Detective Do is packing a quick getaway bag, but in walks Scary Cool Lady and her driver. Well, now we know who she was asked to kill. That's cold, Assemblyman. Scary Cool Lady coos at the tanks's remaining fish as her driver forces Detective Do into a noose.

Cut to: Su Yeol and Jae Seon at the same place later, only to find the detective hanged. Oof. They're both called back to the office to find their team's files being ransacked and boxed by investigators. Amid the fracas, Su Yeol gets a call from a panicked Mama Ryu, audibly struggling with someone on the phone, who says that "some people are here to take my household account book and bankbooks".

Su Yeol goes to his mother's restaurant to find it completely ravaged: capsized buckets of noodles, food in piles on the floor, upturned trays and utensils everywhere. What an awful mess. Mama Ryu frantically asks Su Yeol what's going on as he scurries to clean up. Distraught, he tries to formulate a response. She says she can't get a hold of Dong Yeol and asks if things are OK. Su Yeol looks broken but white-lies, "Yes, of course." Man, this is heartbreaking. He gets an incoming call from Assemblyman Do.

At a club in what looks like a secret/private room, Su Yeol meets the Assemblyman, who's in a hot tub with Definitely Not His Wife. It's Debauchery City: barely-clothed people drunkenly shrieking and pawing at each other, and extravagant-looking food and drink platters against a sleazy soundtrack. Su Yeol catches a glimpse of someone who looks VERY underage. Yuck.

A minute later, on his knees, Su Yeol clasps a glass with both hands as Do pours something expensive-looking and likely a very hard liqueur. Su Yeol apologises and begs for forgiveness, asking to be "beaten to a pulp". Do laughs this off and asks his fellow revellers if he's the type of thug that would do that, to which they nervously respond no. Su Yeol hands over the necklace, saying it's probably too damaged to be admitted as evidence, that he should have known his place, and bows his head in penance, begging again and again for forgiveness, that he'll do anything for mercy.

Do muses that "everyone makes mistakes" as he pours more alcohol into Su Yeol's glass, which the latter holds again with both hands. He thanks Do and downs it, but Do drops the bomb that Su Yeol will be expected to leave the police force and work elsewhere. Do starts pouring again, wondering if Su Yeol would prefer a "big company". In horror, Su Yeol asks if he has to leave the police force, to which Do smiles menacingly, still pouring, then stares without a smile, not stopping pouring, his face twitching, the glass now overflowing, Su Yeol still bowing as the last dregs pour out of the bottle, which Do hurls onto the floor.

"Then, what? Were you planning to stay there?" he asks Su Yeol, who answers shakily, "No, sir. A big company..." he stammers in terror, "That'd be great. Thank you, sir." He turns his head (in the standard reverent way when drinking with elders) to painfully gulp down the entire tumbler in one go, stopping in the middle because it's clearly burning, paint-thinner strength, finishing with some of it sloshing down his shirt, whereupon he bows his head again as Do laughs at him. This is horrible to watch.

Do takes the necklace and says he has something in return: It's a video that he airs on the projection screen in front of everyone, and it's of Yu Na. It's her sweet birthday message to In Seon from the teddy bear toy, and, in this contrasted setting, where nobody else cares, where other people are bribed and threatened and wined and dined to not care, it's chilling. Do smiles at Su Yeol, who can't bear to watch but has to listen, tells him he can keep the video as a "retirement gift", and wipes his feet on Su Yeol's back. He exits with a girl, both laughing, but not before cruelly saying "My eyes well up with tears every time I watch that", leaving Su Yeol to hold back angry tears as he recalls his last conversation with In Seon.

In the bathroom, Su Yeol is violently throwing up (and probably not just from the rapid alcohol intake), sobbing, suffering. He splashes water on his face and looks at himself in the mirror, but can barely manage it for more than a few seconds. He looks broken, destroyed.

But, then, a phone call:

Su Yeol: Hello?

Caller: Senior Inspector Ryu, I need your help.

Su Yeol: Who are you?

Caller: It's me. O Gyeong Tae. I'm being chased. Please help me.

Su Yeol: O Gyeong Tae...?

And that's episode 3 down and, just... fuck me, that was intense. This plot is moving very quickly but it's taken some curveballs.

Now we know that Assemblyman Do isn't the Big Bad. It's Scary Awesome Russian-Korean Lady, and to say I'm intrigued by her is an understatement. Her quietly terrifying presence dominates every scene she's in.

More of the same for K, but his personality is coming out a bit more, and he's starting to feel like his own character rather than a punchline. Less of Gyeong Tae, who really needs a post-coma filling in on everything that's happened. If he already knows he's a murder suspect, how did he find out? The news?

Su Yeol continues to be a dickhead, but his scenes with Dong Yeol and Mama Ryu are throwing us some much-needed depth. I'm really rooting for this family unit because it's the real heart of the show.

Stray thoughts:

Su Yeol on his knees, then standing up, then bowing to apologise. I want this to be a party dance.

Between K's hand-washing etiquette and derisive nose-picking, I would never trust him to handle my phone. Or anything else I want clean.

Hui Gyeom calling him Su Yeol in anger, then Mr Ryu, then sunbae. Oh, that would pain me.

The boat-metaphor conversation between Su Yeol and Bom Pil was played serious in the highlights/trailers, but was set against the not-serious quirky background music in the actual episode.

English bits - Su Yeol: "OK" several times; K: "Open the door!"; Dong Yeol: "Don't worry"

The bicycle from the nightmare - could it be connected to K's identity as a biker?

Su Yeol looks like he's bloody chewing the tablets at the petrol station. I'm taking that as a reference to when he chewed the antidepressants in Goblin like a weirdo (which was something LDW ad-libbed and his tongue immediately regretted it)

K wears red a lot - the biker jacket, the robe, the jacket at the convenience store. The mesh basket he used as a weapon in the convenience store was red, too.

Why the hell would you use someone's birthday as a door code? Hui Gyeom doesn't seem like the type to have enemies but what if some rando who knew her birthday decided to break in? Twit.

Silly, high LDW is a delight. I love when any actor plays drunk/impaired and goes full-goof.

Way to wear all-white shoes while walking around a floor covered in black oil, dipshit.

Su Yeol tells Jae Seon that he scared him by sneaking up on him, but Jae Seon says that, no, he shouted his name for ages before walking up. So even if Su Yeol is just recalling events he did as K, he disassociates fully, to that level? Interesting.

This show really seems to like boat metaphors.

Stamping on your phone doesn't stop people from being able to call you, Van Man.

Su Yeol looks like such a football mum in the baggy suits and tees he wears.

Dong Yeol again with his impressive spreads! I bet that beautiful birthday cake was home-made, as well. Su Yeol, you're such an ungrateful wench.

Hui Gyeom's DOB: 25 Oct 1988; Su Yeol's DOB: 18 Apr 1987. I'm not really buying LDW as being that young but, I guess since they aged up Hui Gyeom from the actress's real age and aged LDW down, there's no icky age gap with the characters. (Still, a decade or so between the ML and FL actors' real ages has always irked me. Even in non-kdramas. Especially as FLs are invariably the younger ones.)

Both boys having the same birthday so the family could still afford to give both a birthday party. Aww.

I love Dong Yeol being able to use his (surprisingly sketchy, though it's been said he's been in trouble before) expertise to help Su Yeol while the latter tries (in his traditionally grumpy aloofness) to keep Dong Yeol safely out of things. And tsundere Su Yeol is sweet. He legit does care for his family.

Between Assemblyman Do and the prosecutor, this show is having some fun with People Who Are Much Smaller Than Lee Dong Wook Making Him Feel Small.

There's a lot going on about people who think they're in power but they're really just pawns - everyone from Su Yeol to both Do men.

Dong Yeol trying to soften his kidnapping situation by calling the foreign worker 'handsome' while crying is just so Dong Yeol and I love it.

I see the Midnight reference with that little axe.

Aww, Hui Gyeom and Su Yeol and their couples-matching flying kicks.

Where is Dong Yeol at the end of this episode? Please tell me he's safe and he's just buying new trousers.

Assemblyman Do telling his fellow partier to "turn up the volume" on Yu Na's birthday message video is just beyond fucked-p.

"Why so serious" - you're not the Joker, Assemblyman Do.

I definitely heard the full "ssibal/fuck" word from Su Yeol in the episode's final scene.

I guess Su Yeol wasn't in the mood to correct Gyeong Tae in that phone call for only calling him "Senior Inspector".

[headinthestaticsky]

Frozen Within the Night Wind: Jasper Hale x Fleur Swan, Chapter 11.

None of the characters in Twilight belong to me, all rights go to Stephenie Meyer.

Authors note:I was reading up on the Newborn Battle and saw that it took place in June... I get that snow storms can happen on mountains but why is everyone else wearing jackets in the battle haha.

"When the mako flies Up from the bottom in your eyes Then I know the twilight skies Are not so broken hearted."

Stylo by, Gorillaz

Today was the day, they would finally arrive ending the constant tension of the inevitable battle. We all stood tense in the field, the wolves were hiding so they weren't immediately sought after.

"Fleur, do you think you could track Riley? We need to know how close he is." Esme asked.

"On it... They aren't to far from here, it'll take them about... 2 minutes before they find us. They're falling for Bella's blood trap quite easily."

"That's good, we don't need them finding her." Carlisle said.

I felt someone grab my hand I turned and looked at them, Jasper was staring back at me.

"We're gonna be fine." He said. I turned my head due to the sound of rustling coming from the far side of the field. I looked back at him and smiled.

"I know we are."

I then saw the crowd coming toward us, they all were yelling. We then began to run toward them as soon as the got close enough both Jasper and I punched two of the vampires heads off. The rest of us had separated at that point as the new born vampires spread out. Two vampires came toward me both of them trying to take out my head. I dunk under them both easily and took out there legs, leaving them defenseless. I then took off both of there heads, another vampire snuck up behind my and grabbed me by the back of my neck, I grabbed both of there hands and flipped them over, crushing there head into the ground and shattering it.

I looked around me and saw Paul with two vampires on his back, I quickly made it toward him. Kicking two other vampires in the process and flipping over another one that was being chased by a wolf before making it to him. I ripped the first one off his body taking it's head clean off with it. Paul had gotten the other one off of him and looked at me quickly before running off again. I ran toward a tree and rock, suspecting someone to be hiding there. My theory proved to be correct, I saw a girl coming out of the little nook.

She looked about 15 years old and scared out of her mind. I stopped myself from attacking her and saw Carlisle and Esme next to me, we were unsure about her.

"Let's leave her here...I really don't think she'll try anything. She looks absolutely terrified." I said Esme and Carlisle nodded. I then ran back toward the fight. I was in the midst of a power struggle with one vampire, my arms, shoulders, sides of my neck, and cheeks began to crack from the pressure. It was unbearable, it was as if a thousand needles were stabbing each individual nerve rendering it useless. Suddenly the pressure was gone and angry amber eyes looked down at the vampire's dismembered body. I healed quickly thankfully and Jasper and I ran off together to defeat the remaining vampires left. They had all been taken out with ease with the exception of a few. Before we both could react a vampire bite Jasper right on the neck, trying to tear apart his skin. Jasper had let out a yell due to the pain and I quickly pushed him off of Jasper, stomping his head in. Emmett and Paul took out the last vampire. When we all dragged them to the middle of the field to burn them I noticed I never saw Riley.

"Hey... did any of you guys run into Riley?"

I saw uncertain faces on the Cullens, which gave me the answer.

I decided to track him, to see if he was still around. I saw him stalking up a mountain, Bella and Edward suddenly came into view.

"Riley... listen to me. Victoria is just using you to distract me. She knows I’ll kill you. In fact, she’ll be glad she didn’t have to deal with you anymore." Edward stated.

Bella looked terrified behind him. I saw Victoria come down a tree landing on a rock covered in snow.

"Don’t listen, Riley. I told you about their mind tricks." Victoria persuaded.

"I can read her mind. So I know what she thinks of you." Edward interjected.

"He's lying."

"She only created you and this army to avenge her true mate, James. That’s the only thing she cares about. Not you."

Riley turned his head to her, and an unsure look was on his pale, deadly face.

Victoria froze, her eyes slightly widened.

"There's only you, you know that!" She said.

Riley then began to walk toward Edward again, Both he and Bella backed up.

"Think about it. You’re from Forks, you know the area. That’s the only reason she chose you. She doesn’t love you."

"Riley, don’t let him do this to us. You know I love you."

Riley turned his head back to Edward a smirk was on his face.

"You're...dead."

I broke out of trance before a fight could break out.

"Guys...They're both with Edward and Bella..."

All of the Cullens's eyes widened with shock.

"Look I got a plan, Dean, you're the second-fastest in the family so you need to get that girl out of here take her back to the house... I have a feeling the Volturi are going to show up and I don't think they'll spare her. I am going to get as close to the fight as I can from the mountains and try to get Victoria to hallucinate again. We don't have any time to waste, MOVE IT!" I demanded before running toward the fight. I could hear Jasper in the distance as I kept running.

"That's my girl..."

As I ran it felt like I was having deja-vu, it reminded me of the ballet studio situation 2 years ago. That same mantra was going through my head. "Please...let me get there in time." No matter how cruel and unkind Bella could be...I couldn't stand the thought of her getting killed by the cold hands of revenge.

Flashback: 4 years ago.

"THAT'S IT... I CAN'T STAND TO BE AROUND YOU TWO ANYMORE!" I yelled at Bella and Renee.

"OH GET OVER YOURSELF, YOU'RE THE ONE ALWAYS CAUSING TROUBLE AROUND HERE!" Renee yelled back.

"Causing trouble....CAUSING TROUBLE? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO THIS TIME?"

"YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG LADY! I HAVE RAISED YOU FOR 15 YEARS!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A GOOD MOTHER!"

"How dare you..."

"What did I do.... what do I always do? Want love? Reassurance? Someone I can trust? That's not "causing problems"... that's something a parent should give to their child. Oh sorry... both of their children!"

"Well...it's hard to give that to a child you just can't stand. You act just like your father..."

"You say that like it's an insult... my father is an intelligent, compassionate man, I'm glad you left him... I didn't want to see him get abused like me."

Bella just sat back and smirked, enjoying the chaos that was in front of her.

"If you love him so much why don't you go live with him."

"Fine... I will just buy the damn plane ticket and I swear I will never come back here again!"

"I will... Bella will finally be able to get away from your poisonous mind."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes before speaking again.

"Goodbye Renee, I'll see you at my wedding. I know you won't be able to resist showing up, you'll have so much fun at the open bar being the boozer you were meant to be. Your speech will probably be you upchucking on the stage. It'll be a hit with the guest."

Renee and Bella's eyes widened with shock. Renee decided to speak up.

"Like you'll ever get married... no sane person would want to be with a disgraceful woman such as you."

I ignored her, I stopped at Bella and looked at her.

"Isabella... get away from her, you'll end up just as toxic and abusive as she is." I then ran upstairs and started packing my bags... eager to leave.

Flashback: OVER

I ran up the mountain and saw a glimpse of the fight, Victoria and Riley held Edward by the arms and neck. Bella stood there paralyzed in fear. I prayed that this plan would work, I tried creating that image of James again but instead... my body changed turning into him. I stood there for a second shocked before making my way up to them. Victoria froze in fear, Riley looked at her in confusion, and Bella and Edward didn't know what to think.

"J-james... how... how are you here? She isn't here is she?" Victoria asked.

I prayed my voice would've changed along with my appearance before I spoke.

"Who? Fleur... no no no, she's too busy dealing with the army you created with... this pipsqueak. I said, my voice was not of my own.

She dropped Edward, which in return made Edward throw off Riley who was then dragged away by a wolf... it seemed to be Seth.

"VICTORIA!" "VICTORIA HELP!"

Seth pulled him down the slope, I could still hear him scream on the way down. Edward just observed us, pulling Bella behind him again.

"James... you have to understand I did this for us, I thought you were dead. Why didn't you come and find me?"

"I did find you...but then I saw what you were doing, whoring yourself out there after you came back from Texas... persuading that man by kissing him the same way you kissed me. You're disgusting!"

"James no... please don't do this."

"You should know...we began this by me hunting you... you've always been my prey. And now..."

My voice switched back to my own.

"I will take you out the same way I intended to from the beginning."

Her eyes widened but before she could escape I snapped her neck, ripping her head off a few seconds later.

"Whoa..." I heard Bella say meekly.

Edward handed me a lighter he was carrying, I lit it and threw it on her body, it busted into flames. I saw Seth carrying Riley back up, he too was dead. I threw him in the fire too, making sure both of them were taken out.

"Fleur... Carlisle said you could make hallucinations... but you completely morphed into James." Edward said in shock.

"T-that's the first time I have ever done that..."

Before either of us could say anything Edward gasped.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"Alice needs us to go...NOW!"

[enter-the-phantom]

2, 10, 15, 16 for your spn s/i!

Awww yusssss

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Bitch I got a whole damn episode.

Early on in the series, sometime in season 2, Dean gets it into his head that in order to find their dad and track down Azazel, they need expert help, and should seek out the Demon's Bane/God Slayer, a hunter folk hero revered for their talent with demons and gods. He's got this idea of some grizzled old man with a big shotgun and has no idea it's actually a tiny androgynous nerd with big glasses.

They track the Demon's Bane to a known hunter bar, and while they're in town discover a rash of murders that they believe to be supernatural in nature. My first appearance is at said bar, I stop by their table to laugh at their inquiries and tell them the God Slayer doesn't exist. My next appearance and actual introduction is when I save them from what they realize is a rampaging deity, and just when they realize that "oh shit, it's this little bitch???", cut to commercial.

Yes, there will be a fic one day.

10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

So many characters I could answer this with so I'll just do some of my favorites.

Crowley finds it funny and endearing, but then me and Crowley have a very odd, very humorous frenemy relationship. We may be on opposite sides of a holy war but I'm so polite and reverent to him that he just can't help but like this funny little human and their awkward angel lover.

The other angels (not including Gabe, of course) are indifferent or a little weirded out. After season 9, the angels, except for Metatron, actually really like me and allow me to lead/help them alongside Cas.

For the most part, it depends on my relationship with the character. No one is really opposed to our relationship, they just either find it strange or, in the case of our friends, ship it way too fucking hard.

15. how does your self insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

I'm a main character just as much as Sam and Dean because of fucking course I am, deal with it. I help to balance out their weirdly toxic and codependent relationship, give them someone else to focus on besides each other. I temper Dean's aggression and bolster Sam, and offer a perspective on hunting and the supernatural that makes for some really interesting discussions and plot lines.

What I'm saying is that I'm the long-lost answer to so many of that show's most basic problems and you can deal with it, ya dig

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

They wear a black cowboy hat that becomes an iconic symbol of their status within the world. For example, when they temporarily give up hunting and their legacy to live a simple life with Castiel after he becomes human, helping him cope in a new world he doesn't understand, they hang up their hat on the door of the bunker and leave it behind with the Winchesters after their argument. It's symbolic and sad and heartbreakingly bittersweet, and it's even worse when they're interrupted while making dinner for Cas at their little apartment by a call from Sam asking for their help stopping the angry goddess who's kidnapped Dean for being a horny idiot (remember that episode? 🙄) and they give Cas a kiss and sadly put it back on. They can't escape the life any more than any other hunter.

What I'm saying is that the yeehaw hat is great. Don't disrespect the yeehaw hat.

[sweetandsourfics]

“Romance” Novel

Billy Hargrove x Reader | NSFW

Summary:  Girls love trashy romance that was given fact. You were no exception. A romance novel in hand 24/7. Your undivided attention was given to these books and Billy hated it. He wanted your attention like he wanted no others before.  

Warnings: Explicit language, Smut

Author's note:  This is a better edited and written of the first “Romance” Novel. Please enjoy! Feedback and criticism is welcomed! My work is not to be reposted on any other site.  

While most girls lined up for Billy to fuck their pretty little brains out. The one girl who he wants to fuck senseless wasn’t paying him a piece of mind.

Your nose is often stuffed in romance novels. A book nerd but not like any book nerd he’s met before.

A book nerd like you hasn’t been portrayed in movies or TV shows.

Most show a shy girl that dresses like a librarian, with no social skills. However, you dressed like a Stevie Nicks.

Girls do love trashy romance stories that was given fact, but these books wear an obsession of yours.

Billy peeked into your locker one day and four of those books were stacked in the tin box. Later that day he saw two more tucked into your bag.

Why did you love these books so much?

Curiosity got the better of him. During the last class of the day.

A class he shared with you. Billy waited until you stepped away from your bag, giving him a perfect chance to pickpocket one of your many romance novels.

That’s how Billy found himself staring down the oil painted couple on the cover of ‘Hearts of Thunder’.

Flicking through the soppy words and declarations of love filled pages. He swears he's strained his eyes from rolling them every five seconds.

How does a smart girl like you end up so in love with these books?

Just when Billy was about to call it quits, a line certian scentance has his full attention.

Inked on the page in all it’s raunchy glory.

"He forced his fingers against her entrance, a breathy moan leaving her kiss swollen lips. “No one can make you feel the way I do.”

Oh…

"The sounds she made so sinful that it would make the devil blush. He thrust into her deep and forcefully. He bends her over. Their faces inches apart."

…Oh!

"Drawing him closer, her thighs tremble as her walls milk him. He doesn’t give her a break as he chases his own high."

Now Billy understands.

You little minx. Just how many of these “romance” novels are hiding sex within their pages?

He knows that you have to touch yourself. Imagining yourself at the mercy of the hero or villian. He isn't one to judge.

How he wishes for you to be at his mercy. A shivering mess under him.

Fuck, he’s getting hard just at the thought of you.

The next day after class, Billy hunts you down. He loiters at your locker.

Billy wonders if you even realised the book is gone.

A smirk tugs at the corner of his lips as he catches you slipping out of a classroom.

You notice him, and you raise a brow in question. Your voice is sceptical “Billy?“  

"Gorgeous.” He greets with a coy wink.

“Flirtatious as ever,” you say with a roll of your eyes. The bite in your words didn’t stop the subtle flush of colour settling over your cheeks.

Billy pushes off your locker allowing you acess. He sucks on his bottom lip, baby blues locked onto your plush behind. Loveing the way the denim hugs your ass.

“What do you want?” He doesn’t know if you’re asking or demanding.

“You dropped this yesterday.” he lies

Retrieving the stolen book out of his back pocket. Your glossed lips part. Eyes wide resembling those of a deer stuck in the headlights of a car. He likes that look on you.

Playing it off you quickly reach for the book but of course, things aren't that easy.

Billy snaps the book out of your reach. He stalks forward pushing you back with every step.

He leans in, his free hand pressing against the lockers. Caging you in. He doesn't miss the way your breath hitches.

He’s so close that one would think he’s going to kiss you. He wishes that he could just kiss you.

Instead, he turns his head, his breath fans your ear. Billy’s lips brush the shell of your ear. Sending a shiver down your spine. Body tensing under his.

Billy speaks in a lowly. “I didn’t know a sweet thing like you would be into something so…dirty.”

Your skin is on fire. Squeezing your thighs together the heat of desire pools between them.

You may read a lot of erotica, but nothing written on the pages can compare to the feel of a real human being.

Breathing shallow and quick. Thoughts racing through your mind, heart thumping like there is a hummingbird trapped within it's walls.

“Come on, Princess.” He purrs, “you need to let off some steam and I can help you with that.”

Billy bites at your earlobe causing you whimper. Shamelessly.

Would it be bad to give in?

Yes. You’ll end up at another notch on his belt.

No. If the rumours hold any truth then you will be in for a toe-curling time.

Your confidence returns like a tsunami. Drowning all your worries and insecurities.

“Billy,” you whisper softly.

His bright blue eyes bore int yours a lustful glaze over them.

Grabbing him by his denim jacket. You pull him into a hungry kiss.

He’s taken back by your kiss. He was't expecting you to be this bold.

Smirking against your lips, it doesn’t take long for him to kiss you back.

Pulling back you nip at his bottom lip. A smirk a dawns on both of your lips.

The kiss wasn’t like the ones with you’ve read about, there was no underlying feeling of love in it. It was pure desire and greedy.

Teeth and tongue. Messy.

“Woo me lover boy, and I’m all yours.”

                                           Billy wastes no time, he has you naked on the back seat of Camaro. He's between your legs.

His hot breath is a sensation that your books forget to describe. A feeling you have forgotten about youself.

Billy licks a stripe with his flattened tongue against your womanhood. Pulling a moan from your kiss bitten lips, pulling at his golden locks.

He groans and it hits your core, sending a violent shudder up your spine.

Your orgasm bites at your nerves. You never want him to leave from the that's between your legs.

Large hands massage your hips as Billy pulls you in. His lips close around your aching clit.

Billy pushes two fingers into your tight pussy. Curling his digits.

Wasn’t that the hottest thing you’ve ever witnessed.

“Fuck baby.” Billy groans his voice heavy with desire.

He looks up at you eyes smothered in lust blown pupils. He licks his lips, tasting you all over again.

Billy kisses his way up your body. He captures your lips in a hungry kiss. All you could taste is you on his tongue.

You had forgotten how good it feels to have another’s body weight above you. You should have gotten your head out of those book sooner.

Billy ravages your neck with hungry kisses, sucking on your sweet spot. “What do you want?”

“Fuck me.” You demand.

Billy lets out a disapproving growl. “Nicely.”

“Just fuck me Harg-” You cut yourself off with a sharp squeal. Billy had flips you over.

Face pressed against the leather seat. He lands a firm slap onto your ass. Then another and another.

Tears dance at the edge of your eyes. Your ass stings deliciously.

You've learnt something new about yourself.

You are more turned now than ever before.

You can feel yourself practically dripping with need.

“You.” you whimper, “please fuck me, Billy.”

Billy hovers over you, his breath fanning your face. Hand massaging the sensitive skin of your ass.

He whispers in your ear. “Tell me nicely. What do you need.”  

Billy sinks his teeth into the tender muscle between your shoulder and neck. Making you moan like the whore you are.

Billy didn’t need to be told twice. Harshly he lifts your hips and buries his cock within your warmth.

He doesnt give you time to adjust to his thickness. He thrusts into you, relentless and selfish.

The smell of sex overwhelms your senses. Your body burns with hunger. Begging for release.

Wiggling your hips. A plead for more.

Billy snakes an arm around to your front. A rough finger massages your clit.

Every nerve in your body sparks like a thousand volts had surged through your body. Tightening the coil in your stomach.

“Such a needy girl aren’t you.” Billy purrs, “my needy girl.”

Your books have never made you feel this good.

With a harsh thrust and tender touch, Billy had you coming and hard. Screaming his name.

Billy slowly works you through your climax before greedily chasing his own.

[caranfindel]

Episode recap/review: Walker 1.14

I didn't expect to recap 1.14 and yet here I am, still avoiding my unfinished Summergen fic. I'm actually writing this in real time, as I watch the episode. So for once I'm not pretending I don't know what happens. I literally don't know.

We begin with Cordell and Grandpa clearing up the crime scene. How much do I love Cordell saying "Daddy?" A lot. And not in that way, you perverts. It just really brings out the Texan.

Liam is in bed, recuperating. He gets a call (note that he calls himself William professionally, which is news to me, and I like it for whatever reason) from someone asking for a comment, which he starts to angrily refuse before Gramma Walker grabs his phone and hangs up. Gramma Walker going all Mama Bear for Liam is also interesting, and unexpected. But Liam says "I can take care of myself" and she says "No, you can't. None of you boys can." And then looks sadly out the window, where Cordell and Grandpa are taking down the crime scene tape. I just have to think "none" and not "both" means she's thinking of poor dead Hoyt, who she obviously loved like a son, if not more so. (More evidence for the Hoyt is her lovechild file? Maybe.)

Geri shows up, wearing an unnecessary cowboy hat and Hoyt's old jacket. She's bearing Hoyt's last will and testament, written on a bar coaster! Oh, my heart. And in case you can't read it:

If I get shivved in the shower or some old horse kicks me upside the head. For real Liam stamp it and everything - I leave everything to Geri/"Geraldine Broussard"/angle [sic] face sweet lips etc. So that plot I bought over in Tanglewood is for her and whatever I got in my pockets or elsewhere. See ya in the next life.

Angle face!

I'm not sure this would stand up in court, since he didn't even sign his last name, although it is witnessed by William Walker. Anyway, it's a moot point, because the land Hoyt intended to give Geraldine "Angle Face" Broussard is transferring to new owners, effective tomorrow. Which makes no sense. The deal fell apart because he died, and yet it's so soon after his death that the police tape is still up. New owners wouldn't be in the picture that quickly. Reverting to previous owners, because it was owner-financed? Sure. But not new owners. (Whatever, Caranfindel. Move it along.) She asks Cordell to go with her to gather his personal belongings. And to bring the kids. Hmmm, let's see how Stella can mess this up. (Tanglewood is 71 miles from Austin. Of course I looked it up.)

But first, Cordell has to sign paperwork to begin his leave of absence. So he didn't actually intend to quit. I mean, we all knew he'd be back, but I kind of thought he was, at the time, intending to quit for good. Does Connie the HR person have a big old crush on him? There is hand touching and deep, serious gazing.

Touch him, Connie. Touch him for those of us who cannot.

Micki is sitting right outside the conference room where he signs his papers but still acts surprised that he's in the building. Did she not smell the rosemary mint shampoo as he walked by? He thanks her for the flowers and apologizes for not calling her back. And then cancels their lunch plans so he can go off with Geri and the kids.

Someone said this on Tumblr, and I think it bears repeating here. It's interesting comparing Cordell's grief, over his wife and now his best friend, to Sam's grief. Cordell is clearly deeply affected, and is also clearly moving on. Sam is just unhinged.

Elsewhere. The gang stops for lunch and reminisces about Hoyt dressed as Santa, wearing assless chaps. Well. That's memorable. (Also, I know people who did the whole leaving horse manure and pretending it's reindeer poop thing. Some people are just a lot more into Santa than I was.) Trevor (Travis? Whatever) called Stella. She's apparently avoiding him. Probably a good call, sis. Maybe the only one you've made in 14 episodes. (To be fair, I didn't watch the first four.)

Micki shares tacos with her boyfriend, whose name I can never remember, having been stood up by Cordell. She tells him Cordell seemed "off," which is great now, Micki. Why didn't you pay more attention to that feeling last week? The BF thinks Micki herself might be off, because she misses her partner. And she calls him family. Captain What's His Face comes to talk to Trey (that's his name, dammit) and asks if he knows a guy who goes to the same physical therapist's office. Friends, when I've done PT, I don't even know people who go to my therapist, let alone just go to someone in the same office. But maybe folks in Austin are just friendlier than they are round these parts. Oh, wait. The guy is missing, and was last seen in a heated discussion with Trey? What's up with that, Trey?

Tanglewood. Cordell asks the nice lady (realtor? owner?) about Hoyt's "personal affects," and she says "they are probably out grazing." Because Hoyt's personal effects are four horses and a llama. Which Geri owns now. "Where am I going to board four horses and a llama?" she asks. Cordell is oddly befuddled (and adorably, cause y'all know how I feel about befuddled Jared), as if he didn't live on a ranch. With horses. The family business, remember? The kids are entranced. I would be too. It's a damn cute llama. One of the mares actually nursed the llama, so they're family. (Watch out for falling anvils.)

Micki's house. Trey says the "heated discussion" was the missing guy showing him a judo move. Captain asks Trey to ride along and help him investigate, and poor partnerless Micki asks if she can come with.

Tanglewood. Apparently Hoyt's personal affects also included gear for the four horses, because everyone is saddled up. Geri doesn't seem like an experienced rider - she keeps her hand on the pommel of the saddle, which I always heard was a rube move. (At least she's not clutching the saddle horn. No shade. It's hard not to. It's a perfect handle and it's just right there.) Cordell, of course, rides perfectly, as he does everything perfectly.

Everything except his job. And raising his kids. But do I care about those things? Not so much.

Geri thinks the llama looks unwell. What is she, a llama expert? A veterinarian? And what are they doing on this trail ride anyway - taking the herd back to the Walker ranch? It's 71 miles away! It's an hour and a half driving! How will they get the truck? Why didn't Cordell just say "let's go back to the ranch and get Daddy's cattle trailer?" WHY.

(No one cares. No one but you thinks about these things.)

Stella is on her phone, but it turns out she's (allegedly) re-reading Hoyt's last text, not chatting with friends. And then she says she was "responsible for everything." Oh, wait. We're going there? Stella is finally going to face the music? Cordell says it's not her fault, but they're interrupted by the llama, who apparently is in distress. Cordell wants to leave him at a random homestead. Permanently? Like, "excuse me, ma'am, but can you take this llama?" Or just while they get the horses home? I dunno.

August doesn't like this, because the llama and the horses are family. Geri distracts him by claiming Hoyt wanted him to have the jacket she's wearing, although I find this rather dubious, because why did she wait so long to mention it? Why is she wearing it herself? It's a lucky jacket he won from a tarot card reader and card hustler named The Mystifying Mehar, who was "infamous for getting out of trouble because of that jacket." Cordell then asks Geri to go off with the kids while he hangs back and tries to ditch the llama. Oh no, Cordell, don't do that. He's family!

Back at the ranch, Grandpa chases off some more journalists. He also ignores Gramma's concern about his cancer.

Trail ride. We skipped the whole bit where Cordell found someone willing to take in a goddamn llama, caught up with his kids, and told them what he did. They're mad that he wouldn't even try, and then Stella impulsively rides off, almost falling into a revine.

Team Sassyboots 2.0 questions the missing guy's wife. Turns out he left a note. Doesn't sound like he's as missing as they thought. He said he would "fix everything," i.e., their upcoming foreclosure. They check his workshop and find evidence that he was a military contractor, and apparently this means he should have no money problems whatsoever, because they don't understand how money works. His gun safe is empty, so they figure he's on some kind of "black ops" job. And if it's going to be complete by Monday, I assume it's something local, and not a military operation.

Walker Ranch. Someone who is Liam's "political opponent" comes to take care of him? And he's bringing barbeque? Is it poisoned? Gramma says Liam can't have barbecue because he's on bedrest, as if one had anything to do with the other. And... Grandpa wants to go mushroom hunting with her? Is that what the kids call it these days?

Trail ride. Cordell found someone to keep the horses. Temporarily? I'm still confused. Stella and Geri talk about Hoyt, and Stella asks about her forgiving him. Thinking about some forgiveness toward your own bad boy, Stella? She says "the two of you were always kind of like the dream to me," which is odd considering they were off-and-on, while her parents were very much on, and definitely seem more like couple goals. But okay. Stella confesses again that she is responsible, and Geri says "you let love in, maybe; that's your worse crime." I wonder if Stella blames herself for the fake truck crash that started the whole domino effect, or if she even realizes that's what happened. Obviously Geri wouldn't. Hmmm, I wonder what August thinks about all this?

Walker Ranch. Whoever this political opponent is, he must be a family friend, because he gave a toast at Cordell and Emily's rehearsal dinner. "Hey, when did your brother have such long hair," he asks, looking at a picture of the happy couple. Liam is growing facial hair again. I like it. Opponent suggests the spicy barbecue will put hair on Liam's chest and Liam tosses it aside and says "no, dammit, after I spent all that time waxing?" And Liam might drop out of whatever race he's in. I don't really care about that part. Let's talk more about Liam's chest.

I love that they can use actual Padalecki family photos as Cordell and Emily photos. No bad Photoshop needed!

Team Sassyboots 2.0. I don't really care about this missing guy either. Skipping it. You know, I understand this is meant to be an ensemble show, and Jared Padalecki and his stupid pretty face and long legs are not going to be in every scene. But Micki working a case with her boss and her boyfriend just bothers me and I don't want to be a part of it.

Trail ride. They're bedding down in the barn for the night? What the fuck? Where are they? Why didn't they just drive home? I'm so confused! Cordell and Geri talk about Hoyt some more. Cordell makes an awkward comment about "us together" and then amends it to mean all of us together, as in you and me and the kids camping right now, not, like, you and me together together, and then does a little eyebrow thing like whoo, good job, talked your way out of that one. NO, CORDELL, YOU ARE NOT AS SMOOTH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. Anyway. There's a lot of guilt about poor dead Hoyt. Cordell tells Geri her name is still on the Sidestep lease (lease? I thought they owned it?), as if being part owner of a bar is always going to be a good thing, with no liability at all. And they don't kiss, for which I am grateful. The horses are really acting up. I hope nothing's happening.

Cordell checks on the horses and apologizes to the mare for leaving the llama behind. He realizes he made the wrong choice. "You know what," he says. "Let's go fix this."

I adore him.

Walker Ranch. Grandpa and Gramma have been mushroom hunting and are now getting silly. Um, what kind of mushrooms did you two find? And then Grandpa says "tonight's about Hoyt," which I do not understand. "I saw the joy he gave you," Grandpa says. Yes, Grandpa, and do you not find that even a little bit fishy? And then he decides to build something.

Trail ride. Cordell went and retrieved his llama! He is precious. I love him so much. He has some pratfalls in the same ravine that almost caught Stella, and then his family shows up and rescues him. (Can I point out that his "a-ha-ha" laugh is the same one we heard when he opened his gift from Dean in "A Very Supernatural Christmas" and I'm not sure it appeared in any other episode?) August offers the Lucky Jacket to use as a llama harness to haul the little guy out of the ravine. Oh, and it turns out the llama is about to give birth.

And, while I'm skipping Team Sassyboots 2.0, it's hard to ignore that Micki is now in a UFC fight. That might have been an interesting story after all. Y'all can fill me in.

Walker Ranch. They're building a little stable. Because this big horse ranch doesn't have enough stables. Liam, who was bedridden to the point of not being able to eat barbeque yesterday, is now helping build. He gets a text from his former fiance, who wants to talk. And Grandpa has decided to treat his cancer. Happy endings all around!

Micki's house. She says she was passive-aggressive with Walker because she's afraid of losing him. I get it, sweetie. He's someone you don't want to lose.

Trail ride. August is carrying the newborn llama, wrapped in the Lucky Jacket. Geri wants to cut out before they get to the ranch. She's going to ride the bus home? Seriously? Isn't her car at the Walker Ranch? She and Cordell talk abou their unfinished business. Yeah, like the fact she was probably involved in your wife's murder? That unfinished business, Geraldine? Grandpa meets them before they get to the ranch and informs them he has a strict no-llama policy on the ranch. But luckily, he just built an alpaca stable. They’re alpacas, not llamas. So, Geri called him, but how did he know they were alpacas? Did she send pictures? I am so confused. Anyway. The new family goes into their new home. They name the baby alpaca Hoyt, of course.

Little Hoyt, guys, he's the sweetest thing.

Breakfast. Political Opponent gives Liam a contribution. Oh, I get it. They're running for the same office, and he thinks Liam will draw votes away from his other opponent. Shrewd. Stella calls Trevor and says she might need to leave the past behind. And you are the past, Trevor. Cordell sees a truck pull up and runs out to meet Micki. She apologizes for holding a grudge over him leaving. She tries to shake hands and he hugs her instead. She thinks they can just be friends now instead of partners, and he says they're not friends, they're family. And then she oohs and aahs over the alpacas, which she recognizes immediately as alpacas and not llamas, and also points out that little Hoyt is actually a girl. Oops. Awkward. Cordell is surprised she can just tell. "Most people can." Yeah, you are the worst rancher's son ever. Then Cordell sees the fence is carved with a memorial to Hoyt. Aw.

He is also the sweetest thing.

So. Less drama than last week. More warmth. A ridiculous B story that was as annoying as giving Cas his own plot. Will I still watch next week? Yeah, probably. I have questions. How did Grandpa know they were alpacas? Where is the baby daddy? Can Cordell and his rancher father really not tell the difference between a male and female alpaca? Why is Geri riding the bus home, when her car is at the Walker's? Why is she avoiding the Walker Ranch? Will August ever get his own plot again?

It's just a shame that this episode didn't have any shout-outs to Supernatural, like the last one did...

[the-awkward-outlaw]

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Could you please write furious Arthur headcanons? His s/o had been kidnapped by another gang ( your choice) and write him a ransom but he doesn't give them anything, except a killing spree. He's bloodthirsty.

Okay, I only wrote 13 pages and the second half I did while being extremely tired (my fault for having too much caffeine before going to sleep). I hope it isn’t total garbage. 

Warnings: swearing, torture, mentions of attempted rape, blood

Breathe

It’s early morning, the sun’s just risen and you’re kneeling next to the fire. You and Arthur found this place to camp last night while heading back to Shady Belle. It’s not too far from Clemens Point, the campsite the gang deserted a few weeks back thanks to the Pinkertons finding it. Arthur approached you a few days ago, stating he needed to get away from the swamps and that godforsaken city Saint Denis, so you went with him. 

You’re fairly certain Arthur’s sweet on you. Nothing conclusive, of course. It’s just a look here and there, a touch. The way he talks to you. The fact that you’re the only person he invites to come on these hunting trips. You know he has no qualms about going alone. He used to go out by himself for days on end, coming back with loads of pelts and herbs. That was when you first joined though. The past couple of months, he’s liked you to come along. 

You’re sweet on Arthur too. He’s a complicated man, capable of great measures of violence and gentleness. You’ve seen him be kind one second and become scary as hell the next. However, it was his gentleness and his devotion to the gang that first captured your attention. He’d move mountains for most of the gang members, particularly Dutch, Hosea and the other girls. You hope he’d do the same for you, and something tells you he would. Once you got to know him a little better, it didn’t take long for you to develop feelings for him. It was then that you also noticed how handsome he was and there were many nights you went to sleep pretending to be nestled in his arms. 

Arthur’s out now, probably hunting or gathering herbs. You like to sleep in later than he does, so you’re not worried. You straighten your shirt and run your fingers through your hair before pouring yourself a cup of coffee. Once you’re a little more awake, you’ll get your bow and go find him. 

The energy in the air shifts suddenly. Or perhaps it’s just the wind, but something feels wrong. You remember once in Big Valley being stalked by a cougar. This feeling is the same, but there are no large predators down this far south. Not that you know of, anyways. You look around the wide clearing and into the trees. There seems to be nothing. So why does it feel so strange?

Without warning, a lasso floats over your head and around your middle, binding your arms to your sides. The rope jerks, slamming you down onto the ground and you begin to panic. Three men, whooping and hollering, come running up. They’re wearing old soldiers’ uniforms. 

Breathe

“You sure she’s the one, Curtis? Part of that gang that took Shady Belle?” the one holding the rope that binds you says. 

A slightly fat man with a big white beard approaches you, grabbing your face hard and he peers at you. “She’s definitely with that gang. I seen her before. That big feller you with, he the gang leader?” he directs the question at you. 

Lemoyne Raiders. No question about it. You knew you hadn’t seen the last of them after Dutch robbed them of their hideout. 

“I ain’t runnin’ with no other feller,” you lie. “Just myself and my horse.” 

“Then how you explain the two bedrolls? You also got enough supplies to take care of two people.” 

You swallow. “I… I like to carry a lot of supplies. Sell them sometimes. You in the market?” 

The man grabs your collar and swiftly punches you, causing starts to blink in your vision. 

“Now tell the truth, girl!” the man hollers. 

You glare up at him and spit blood in his face. “I ain’t tellin’ you a damn thing.”

“Fine, but you ain’t gonna like the alternative.” The man flips you onto your back, binding your hands and feet together. The man named Curtis hollers again back at the other two. “Come on, boys. We’ll take her to our new place. Make her hungry.” 

“But what use is she gonna be to us?” the third man says. He has a rather stupid look to him and his eyes are too far apart. 

“Easy. That feller she’s runnin’ with. I doubt he’s gone far,” Curtis points out. “We’ll leave him a little note. Adam, you know how to write, you’ll make it up. Put down that we want Shady Belle back and $1000 with it. Either that, or we’ll send them a gift made out of this pretty lady’s skin.” 

The men chuckle darkly and you’re beginning to panic. You’re just about to scream for Arthur when Curtis kneels down, takes his pistol out, and slams the butt of it into your head, forcing you into a world of darkness. 

***************************************

Arthur makes his way back to the little make-shift camp. It’s nearly noon; he’s surprised you haven’t caught up with him yet. You’ve never slept in this late. Maybe you’re not feeling well. His horse’s saddlebags are bursting with herbs, Grimshaw will be happy at least. 

He hums softly to himself, excited that your face will be the first one he sees today. You have the brightest and warmest smile he’s ever seen. He’d pay an unimaginable amount to wake up to seeing that smile of yours everyday. He wants nothing more than to ask you out to dinner or some other date, but he’s terrified. No way could someone like you be interested in a dirty, violent outlaw like himself. 

He sees the pillar of smoke that marks your camp and his humming changes to whistling. Maybe today he’ll finally find the courage to ask you out. Unlikely. All you have to do is smile and his legs turn to jelly. Still, he loves your company. The way you point out the beauty of the world where all he once saw was the ugliness of it. Your face litters many of the pages in his journal. If only you knew how many. Probably a good thing you didn’t, he thought, otherwise you’d go running for the hills. 

He walks his horse slowly up the last small rise towards camp. When he sees it, he’s confused. You’re not there, but your horse is still tied to the small tree you hitched her to the previous night. Maybe you’ve gone to pick herbs not too far away or you’re fishing at the lake, which isn’t far either. However, when he gets closer and he sees the blood, he knows you’re in trouble. He hops off his horse and inspects the camp, looking for any clue to what happened. He finds the note. “Give us Shady Belle and $1000 or the girl dies. Deliver alone. LR.” 

His breathing becomes suddenly rapid and his hands begin to shake. He crumples the letter in his hand, the edges of his vision turning red. How dare those bastards touch a single hair on your head? He was angry when he learned young Jack had been kidnapped. It’s nothing compared to the seething hatred he feels now. He quickly throws down camp, grabs your horse and then gallops back to Shady Belle. Dutch will surely help him. 

**************************************

Breathe. 

You’re being dragged by the rope binding your feet. Your head aches and you crack your eyes open. An old, boarded-up house looms above you and you’re flanked by over half a dozen men, all in Confederate uniforms. The man dragging you stops and you look to your left and see the burned skeleton of a barn. 

“What the hell she doin’ here, Curtis?” a slightly fat, balding man demands. Based on his uniform, you’d guess he’s the boss of this group. 

“She’s with that gang who took Shady Belle. We left a note for her companion to give it back and an extra $1000, otherwise we’d send her back in a condition they ain’t gonna like.” 

“You damn fool, Curtis!” the man growls. “And when the entire gang comes up to get her, then what?” 

“We wrote her friend a note to come alone when deliverin’ the money. He ain’t gonna be a problem, Richard.” 

“He better not be. Still, I would enjoy seein’ at least one of those traitors who robbed us suffer. That was our goddamn home.” Richard looks to the house and then back to you. “Put her in the basement.” 

Breathe.

The man holding your feet begins dragging you again towards the house. You grunt loudly as he hauls you up the front steps and they scratch against your back. You start struggling, trying to grab onto anything that might give you an edge. Curtis, who’s walking behind you, grabs your hands and picks you up so now you’re being carried between the two men. 

They drop you in a room with a fireplace, a fire burning inside it. Richard enters the room, shooing most the other men out except for Curtis and the man still holding her feet. He orders them to strip you. You start fighting, but Richard and the other man pin you down as Curtis rips off your clothes, leaving you in your undergarments. 

“You wanna go further?” he asks Richard, a hungry look in his eyes that leaves you feeling cold. 

“Not yet. If they don’t show up with the money in a day or two, we’ll have some fun with her.”

Curtis looks disappointed, but he and the other man pick you up again and Richard opens up a door in the floor. They carry you down into a cellar. There are three pillars, chains attached to them. This house clearly used to keep slaves down here before the Civil War ended. 

The men drop you onto the stone ground and then Richard pulls out two pairs of handcuffs. He binds your hands together and then your feet. Then he forces you to your feet and stretches your arms up, attaching the chain holding your hands together to an old hook hanging from the rafters of the ceiling. It leaves you barely standing on your toes. 

“Get out of here, you two,” Richard says to the other men. Again, they look disappointed but they comply. Richard turns back to you. “Now, you’re gonna tell me about this little gang of yours.” 

“I ain’t tellin’ you nothin’,” you growl. 

He chuckles and takes out a knife. “Maybe not yet, but you will.” 

Breathe. 

*********************************************

Arthur stomps into camp, still in a fury. He goes to Dutch and explains your predicament. 

“We ain’t givin’ those animals money, Arthur,” Dutch says. 

“No of course we ain’t. But we need to find her. Gather the men, let’s go hunt her down before those bastards have a chance to hurt her.” 

Dutch stands up, glaring at Arthur. He’s never tried to boss Dutch around and he won’t accept it. “No, Arthur. I need them to do work and I know you’re sweet on Y/N, Arthur, but she ain’t exactly Jack.”

Arthur’s vision has remained red the entire time since he found your ransom note but it intensifies when he hears Dutch’s words. “What, because she ain’t a kid who represents the potentials of the future, she ain’t worth savin’?!” 

“Arthur, that ain’t what I’m saying,” Dutch says quickly. Although he knows Arthur’s loyalty would never waver, he knows exactly what Arthur’s capable of. “We’ll get her before she can talk, but I just need a little more time.” 

“She ain’t gonna talk, Dutch. She’s as loyal to you as any of us.” 

“I don’t know that, Arthur. She’s only been with us for a few months and who knows what they’ll do to her. You’d be surprised how quickly people break when subjected to torture.” 

Arthur clenches his fist and Dutch takes a step back. “I’m goin’ after her, Dutch, right now whether you like it or not. I’m gonna kill all them bastards. But if she’s dead, Dutch, I’m gonna tear everything-”

“Alright, Arthur,” Dutch says quickly, knowing how easily Arthur could hurt him if he really wanted to. “Take two men, go find her.” 

Arthur stomps out of the house, still furious that no one else cares about you as much as he does. He grabs Charles and John and rides back to where your camp was in order to track you down. 

*******************************************

Breathe. 

The inside of your upper left arm burns something terrible. At least the bleeding has stopped. Richard tried getting information out of you, kicking and slapping you when you refused. After two hours of attempted interrogation, he lost his temper and carved the word “traitor” into your arm. The pain was indescribable. He left you alone to hang from your wrists after that, clearly needing a break. 

It’s been at least half a day since you saw anyone. You’re thirsty and your wrists hurt like crazy from holding a good portion of your weight, the manacles digging into your skin. 

The cellar door at the top of the stairs opens again and Richard walks down. He’s alone but he’s already pulled out his knife. 

“You gonna talk, traitor?” he growls. 

“Fuck off, you piece of shit,” you spit back. 

He narrows his eyes and rubs his thumb across the blade. “You know, a few years ago, another gang came through here. Guess they wander a lot, don’t stick in one place for more than a few weeks. Called themselves the Skinners. I saw the things they did to the folk they caught. Even learned a thing or two. Trust me, girl, you wouldn’t like any of the ideas I got for you.”

He glares at you. Fear rips through your gut but you won’t give in so easily. Someone will come for you, you’re sure of it, and you’re more scared of what Dutch will do if you talk and he finds out. 

“Do your worst,” you say, a tear sliding down your cheek. 

Richard curls his lip and then slams his knife down into your thigh, making you scream. “Talk, girl,” he demands again. You quiet down, more tears falling. “Talk!” he hollers, twisting the knife which only makes you scream more. He twists, pulls and pushes the knife, trying to work anything out of you. Then, he yanks the knife out, blood spilling out of your thigh. 

“You’re gonna say somethin’! I don’t care how much you’ve whored yourself to those men, you’re gonna break.” 

You can do nothing but cry as your thigh bleeds freely. Richard reaches up and drags the tip of the knife from your neck to your collarbone, finally cutting into your chest. He draws a shallow line, making you scream again. 

Finally, Richard seems to have enough after cutting you in multiple places across your arms and legs. He huffs insults at you and then marches up the stairs. 

Breathe.

*********************************************

At the campsite, Charles picks up a trail of three horses, most likely your captors'. It’s an old trail but he manages to pick it up just fine. Arthur’s still furious and desperate to find you. 

John tries to encourage him. “We got Jack back, Arthur. We won’t have any problems finding her.” 

He couldn’t be more wrong, though. The men who captured you almost seemed to not know where they were going. The trail winds in several circles and sometimes even turns back to the way they’d come, almost like they were afraid of leaving a trail. 

The hunt lasts for hours and the sun begins to set. Charles tells Arthur to rest, but he refuses, stating you certainly don’t have that luxury. He won’t either, not until you’re safe. Charles and John decide not to argue. They know how Arthur feels about you, and how afraid he is of losing you. They agree to go on.

The trail heads further east towards the swamps and then, after hours of following, it turns west again, back towards Scarlett Meadows. Arthur’s even more furious. What the hell were those animals trying to do when they captured you? Charles asks for the note they’d left him, wondering if it could give any clues to where you are. Arthur says there’s nothing but hands him the note anyways. 

“LR,” Charles says. 

“Lemoyne Raiders,” John explains. “We drove them out of Shady Belle.”

Charles nods and his face is deep in thought. “Where would a gang that large go after losing their main hideout?” 

Arthur pulls out a map and inspects it. There’s few buildings that aren’t in a town or a city that are large enough to house a gang. Then he sees a place on the map in the direction the trail is leading. He recognizes it from when Uncle found a lead on a stage that was owned by Cornwall. They’d hid in the barn of the house and it got burned down. Shortly afterwards, he met the former owner, an ex slave catcher. He remembers the old cellar with chains on the pillars, ledgers of slaves and a slave’s old journal describing getting caught. 

“There, Compston’s Stead. My money’s on there.” 

John looks at the map and nods. “Seems big enough. Right in the middle of their territory.” 

“Let’s go,” Charles says, but Arthur’s already riding off. The group gallops through the night, the horses snort and sweat from being pushed so hard. They enter the woods right outside Comspton’s Stead and finally pull to a stop. It’s nearly dawn, the eastern horizon turning light. Arthur dismounts and pulls out his shotgun. 

“We need to come up with a plan,” John says. “What are we doin’, Arthur?” 

“Kill ‘em all,” Arthur says and then starts walking towards the house. Charles and John call for him, stating the obvious flaws in this idea, but Arthur ignores them. All he knows is they’ve undoubtedly tortured you and done God knows what else and he’s going to rip them all to shreds. 

He stops at the edge of the trees and, sure enough, there’s tents and wagons around the house and burnt barn. Hardly anyone’s awake, but two men are sitting around a campfire, sipping coffee. They’re clearly supposed to be on guard as they hold rifles, but they’re taking a break. Arthur aims his shotgun and fires, the slugs slamming into the chest of one of the men. The other hops up, only to be knocked back by another shot fired by Arthur. 

The other men start getting out of their tents, but they’re disoriented from being asleep. Some are still pulling their pants or hats on, wielding pistols or rifles. 

“Raiders!” Arthur screams, reloading his shotgun. “You’re dead, you sons of bitches! Where is she?” 

**********************************

You’re dozing, somehow able to get a bit of rest despite the immense pain flowing constantly throughout your body. There isn’t a part of you that doesn’t hurt, but you’re so tired you’re managing to fade out of consciousness to a point and sleep a little. That is until you hear the cellar door open. You look up and out the small window near the ceiling. The sky’s turning light. Richard walks down the stairs, his eyes dark and hungry. He closes the cellar door behind him.

Breathe. 

“You gonna talk, whore?” he growls. 

“Do your worst,” you say again, your voice no more than a soft grunt. You’re so thirsty and weak it’s all you can manage. 

“Oh I plan too. You are a pretty thing. Shame you’re makin’ me carve you up like this.” He stands in front of you and raises his hand, dragging a finger from your shoulder and all the way down your body. The way he touches you is the absolute worst torture and you suddenly realize what he’s thinking of doing. 

He grabs the top of your bloomers and begins to pull down. “Obviously knives ain’t workin’ on you. Maybe I can… squeeze your words out of you another way,” he whispers in your ear. You clench your legs together as hard as you can, but in your position you don’t have much power over what happens to you. 

Richard reaches a hand up to lift your chemise when a sudden explosion echoes outside. It’s coming from the woods. Richard steps away quickly and looks out the window. 

Another explosion and men begin shouting. You hear a man hollering a slew of insults. There’s anger in his voice, but it’s different than the anger in Richard’s voice. A kind of desperation lingers behind it. 

“Son of a bitch,” Richard growls. He pulls out his pistol and stands close to you. “Don’t worry, whore. He ain’t gettin’ to you.” 

Breathe. 

You want to cry out. You recognize those explosions well enough to know they’re coming from a shotgun. Someone has come for you. You have to believe it. 

“Help!” you try calling out, but your voice is so weak it’s hardly more than a whisper. 

“Shut up,” Richard grunts. You call out again and he slams the butt of his pistol in your face, cutting your cheek. 

The air outside echoes with more shots, more screaming. You don’t know how long it continues, but then it suddenly stops. Richard shuffles nervously, his thumb brushing against the hammer of his pistol. He stares up at the closed cellar door. You can see the sweat dripping down his face. 

The cellar door swings open, light streaming in and blinding you. Richard hesitates and then points his pistol at your head. 

“Come any closer, she dies,” he says. 

The person at the top of the stairs darts down them. You gasp when you see Arthur and he’s wielding a rusty old sword. He’s too fast for Richard and he swings the sword down and into Richard’s shoulder, burying it deep. Richard drops the pistol and falls to the ground, Arthur on top of him. 

Arthur pulls out his knife and slashes Richard’s throat, and he gurgles as the blood flows from his open neck. Arthur watches him for a second, his shirt speckled in Richard’s blood. Then he turns and looks at you, a fire raging in his eyes. 

Breathe.

“Ar-Arthur,” you groan. He gets up and grabs your wrists, unhooking them from the rafters. You sigh when your weight finally goes to your feet but you’re so weak you fall against Arthur. He grabs you and holds you tight, kneeling down so you don’t have to stand. He cradles your head against his chest, his other arm tight around your back. 

“I got ya, girl. You’re safe now,” he whispers, his voice gentle compared to the violence that he’d just committed. 

You take in a deep breath, his scent of pine and leather flooding your nostrils and then you begin to cry. You sob into his shirt and he just holds you, rubbing circles into your back. He releases you only for a moment to take out a lockpick and take the cuffs off your wrists. When your hands are free, you latch onto him as hard as you can. 

“You’re safe, darlin’. Ain’t nothin’ gonna hurt ya now.” 

He sighs, his arms folding tightly around you. You bury your head into the crook of his neck, wanting to shut out the world. You swear his lips brush your forehead. 

“Come on, sweetheart. We need to get you out of here.” 

He starts pulling away, but you latch onto him. You feel cold and you’re terrified from everything that’s happened. He’s warm and he represents safety, protection. 

“Easy, girl. I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Just need to get these off your feet.” 

He lays you down on your back as gently as he can and then unlocks the cuffs around your feet. He’s back near your head and he picks you up, cradling your head to his neck again as he carries you up the stairs. You’re blinded from having been down in that cellar for you don’t even know how long. He walks slowly as to not cause you more pain and your eyes adjust to the light. 

Curtis and the man who dragged you lie dead in the living room, their bodies resting in pools of blood. Outside, you’re blinded again but you have an easier time adjusting to the light. There’s more corpses. Charles and John are looting the bodies and camp for anything they can use. They straighten up when they see Arthur carrying you. 

“Is she…” Charles begins. 

“She’s alive,” Arthur says with a shaky voice. “She’s in bad shape though. We need to get her home.” 

Arthur calls his horse and, with John’s and Charles’s help, lifts you onto the horse, which is extremely painful on your leg. You grunt and gasp in pain and Arthur says words of encouragement. He climbs up behind you and wraps a protective arm around you, grabbing the reins in his other hand. He says nothing to the other two and pushes his horse into an easy canter towards camp. The pain is too much as it rips through your body in fresh waves and sends you into a relieving world of darkness. 

***********************

Arthur arrives back at camp, followed by Charles and John. You passed out within only a few moments of riding, to which he’s grateful for. It meant you would have to endure less pain. Once he stops his horse, John holds you up as he gets off his horse. John makes to slide you off, but Arthur pushes him away and pulls you into his arms. 

Grimshaw’s making a huge fuss, ordering people around to get medical supplies. Dutch walks over to him and is about to say something when Arthur snaps at him. “I don’t wanna hear about it right now, Dutch. She ain’t outta the woods yet.” 

Grimshaw tries to tell him to drop you off on your own bedroll, which is positioned by Karen’s and Mary-Beth’s on the ground, but Arthur says it would be best if you were on an elevated bed, somewhere secluded and warm. He hauls you up to his room and puts you onto his bed. Grimshaw abruptly shoves him out of the warm so she and the girls can change your clothes and begin working on you. 

Most of your cuts and wounds are okay and don’t require stitches, including the carved word on your arm. Your leg is a different situation. The wound is deep and jagged and it’s still bleeding, though not profusely. Grimshaw says the best option would be to cauterize it instead of risk it getting infected. Karen brings her a candle and some gunpowder. 

Arthur’s standing outside his door, pacing near it. He’s terrified to hear about your condition but prays he got to you in time. He’s still wearing his bloody clothes, but as he’s not allowed into his room to change, he doesn’t care. Dutch and Hosea are with him, telling him encouragements. They’re helping until he hears you scream. 

Dutch grabs Arthur as he tries barging through the door to get to you. Arthur’s fighting hard though, so Dutch calls Bill and Charles. It takes all three men to prevent Arthur from going into his room to see you. He yells at them to let him go and after a few moments, Grimshaw comes out, looking furious. 

“Mr. Morgan, she won’t ever be able to get some rest with you screeching this!”

“What the hell are you doin’ to her?” he demands. 

“Fixin’ her leg. Think she’ll be fine and she’s asleep again.” 

“Let me see her.” 

“No,” Grimshaw says. “We’re almost done. Now how about you make yourself useful and get some fresh clothes for her. Bring up some food and water for when she wakes up.” 

Arthur growls but he’s relieved to have something to do. The others let him go and he does what Grimshaw says. She snatches the clothes out of his hand and then slams the door in his face. 

“Come on, son,” Hosea says, patting Arthur on the back. “Let’s get you calmed down. That’s the best thing you can do for her right now. She couldn’t be in better hands.” 

Arthur nods and lets Hosea and Dutch lead him into the sitting room where Dutch keeps the donation box. They get him some whiskey and some food, encouraging him to eat. 

***********************************

You don’t know how long it’s been since Arthur saved you. The events leading up to it were terrifying and awful, but the feeling of his arms around you was one of the best things you’ve ever felt. You remember how his warmth seeped into you. 

Breathe.

You notice you’re mostly on your stomach and right side in an upright position. There’s an odd mixture of warm and cool throughout your body and you’re propped against something that's almost hot. You breathe in and smell pine and leather, just like Arthur smelled when he saved you. As you dip again into that memory, the pain of your body begins coming back to you. 

You stir a bit and something moves against your back, rubbing softly. That’s when you feel arms wrapped around you. Your eyes creak open and you look up to see Arthur staring down at you. He sighs as though in relief. 

“Hey, darlin’,” he says. “Thank God you’re awake.” 

Despite the pain, you smile a bit and open your mouth to say something, but your voice doesn’t want to work. 

“Take it easy, sweetheart,” he says. One of his arms unwinds around you, leaving you a little cold. Then he hands you a tin cup full of water and he helps you drink it slowly. When the water’s gone, you start to remember the things that happened to you. 

“Arthur, I… I didn’t say anything to them,” you say, a sob working its way up your chest. He folds his arms around you again. 

“I know, darlin’, I know. Don’t worry about that, okay? Those bastards who hurt you are all dead, they can’t do that again.” 

The shock of the last few days comes to you and you begin to shiver, despite the humidity and the heat from the swamps outside. Arthur grabs the blanket on the bed packed against the wall and drapes it over you. 

“You’re okay, darlin’. I got ya, ain’t gonna let you go.” His words flow over you and the sob finally reaches your throat. He rubs your back as you cry into his chest again. You can’t understand why those men did such horrible things to you. It’s not like you had any hand in taking the manor from them. 

“Why, Arthur?” you sob. “Why’d they do that?” 

He sighs and brushes his lips against your forehead. “I don’t know, honey. They were evil men. You did nothing wrong and you didn’t deserve it, okay? Don’t ask yourself ‘why me’.” 

You nod and nestle closer into him, your left hand clutching onto the collar of his shirt, noticing the bandage around your wrist. He’s wearing his blue shirt but removed his black scarf, leaving the top three buttons undone. He’s done this before and you always struggled to avert your eyes from his exposed chest. However, you press your cheek to his bare skin. The physical contact is soothing and calming. He places a soft kiss on your forehead.

That takes you by surprise. You open your eyes and look up at him. “Arthur?” 

“Sorry,” he says, blushing. “I just… I was terrified I wouldn’t get to ya in time. That mornin’ they took you, I um, I was going to ask you somethin’ but they got you before I could.” 

He’s terrified and surprised he’s even asking you in the first place. However, when you were kidnapped, he knew he wanted you in his daily life. He was in love with you, he couldn’t deny that. He pauses for a moment, pondering what to say. If you tell him you’ve no interest in being with him, that’s going to make things incredibly awkward. 

“Arthur?” you say gently, your fingers delicately brushing his chest. “What were you going to ask?” 

“I um,” he hesitates again. He can’t look you in the face, his cheeks burn hot. “I was gonna ask ya if… If I could take ya to dinner or see one of them silly plays in Saint Denise.” 

Is he really asking you out on a date? Your stomach skips. You’ve no idea how many times you imagined him saying this, but you never thought it’d actually happen. Maybe you’re suffering hallucinations stemming from your condition, but you don’t care. You smile up at him and cup his cheek. 

“Well, I would have said yes if you asked me then. My answer isn’t changing now.” 

His lips stretch into a wide grin and then suddenly, they’re on yours. They’re slightly chapped and dry, but they’re warm. His lips move softly against yours, parting them just slightly as his tongue flicks over your lips. Your hand moves into his hair, tangling into them. 

Before things can go further, he breaks away. “Thank ya, darlin’. I ain’t ever lettin’ you go, not unless you want me to.” 

You smile at him and lay your head on his chest. It feels like a miniature version of the sun has taken residence in your own chest, sending warmth to your limbs. You suddenly can’t wait to be in well enough condition to go out with Arthur, but for now, you’re happy to stay in the safety and heat of his arms. He draws soft patterns into your skin, sending you back into an easy slumber. 

[ask-blueeyedpops]

Character INFO

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This page will give you a brief introduction to all the characters in the AU so far. It should hopefully give you a good, quick look into the character’s personality, interests and bios. More characters will be added as the story progresses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack Shurley

Species: Human (Hunter)

Personality: Jack is an innocent teenager who’s very trusting (a bit too much at times; which gets him in trouble during hunts.) He wants the best for everybody and is a very determined and hard worker.

Likes/Dislikes: Jack likes classic rock but like his dad, also likes ABBA. His favourite song is “Unopened Windows” by Set It Off.

Bio: After his mother died, Cas had raised Jack on the road. His dad constantly tried to give him a normal life – school, friends, prom – but Jack refused to accept it. He’d seen what his dad could do and wanted to help; he wanted to make sure no one else had to grow up like he did, and so Cas (reluctantly) taught Jack how to hunt. As a result, Jack has little to no friends and his dating life is nonexistent.

Castiel Shurley (Cas)

Species: Human (Hunter)

Personality: Castiel can be overly-protective but he’s also a really selfless person. At first, he can be blunt and presents a cold exterior but in reality he has a big heart and tends to think about others more than himself.

Likes/Dislikes: Cas is a bit attached to his Chevrolet Impala, but he also likes cats, board games, Twister, the band ABBA and burgers.

Bio: Cas’ dad had left him at a young age. His eldest brothers (with the exception of Gabriel) raised both him and his brother Balthazar to be hunters so that they could all search for their dad together. As Cas grew older he became tired of the hunting life and later abandoned it all together to settle down with the love of his life and his wife; Kelly Kline. Cas’ elder brothers resented him for his choice, whereas Balthazar still remained loyal and supported his younger brother. Gabriel remained neutral on the subject; the two of them are on okay terms but they didn’t contact each other much after that. Some time after giving birth to Jack, Kelly suffered a horrible death, leaving Cas to raised Jack alone.

Raphael Shurley (Ralph/Ralfe)

Species: Human (Hunter)

Personality: Ralph is creative and can be competitive, but he is also quite shy when you first meet him.. He has a vivid imagination and is very skilful at coming up with plans and solutions to problems. Ralph can be emotionally distant at times and like his brothers, won’t talk about his feelings.

Likes/Dislikes: Ralph loves any sort of art medium; he loves to express his thoughts and emotions through his art. Ralph prefers doodling when he’s emotional because it’s the quickest way to get his feelings out and he doesn’t have to bottle them up like most of his brothers do.

Bio: Ralph was loyal to his father and loved him unconditionally. But once his father went missing, he was upset, and became more emotionally distant from everyone, deciding to side with Michael and Luci. He tagged along to help his 2 older brothers search, but eventually lost hope and accepted that he most likely won’t see his father again. He still continues to help them with, what he thinks, is their “pointless quest to find dad”. Ralph is the strategist in the group; he comes up with ideas/plans to find their dad despite having lost hope. In his spare time, when he’s not busy looking for their dad, he likes to put his skills in art to use and paints.

Dean (Squirrel)

Species: Angel (Fallen)

Personality: Dean’s emotions are all over the place due to his lack of experience with handling them. Nevertheless he’s pretty hopeful and can be very faithful towards the people he holds dearest to his heart.

Likes/Dislikes: There aren’t a lot of things that Dean likes but he did have a strong attachment to his wings. Cas’ impala later catches his eye too, but nobody’s noticed that yet… at least he doesn’t think so.

Bio: Angels are normally assigned humans to watch over - people to guide and protect. Usually angels are given troubled souls to steer back onto the right path and every angel is assigned a human to watch over (with the exception of Archangels). If an angel were to fail their duty as a guardian, they'd be punished severely by being stripped of their grace and being reborn as a human. Angels lack free will and are bound to their duties. Sam and Dean found it hard to accept this hard fact and wanted free will like humans did - to be able to make their own choices. They rebelled against heaven and fell down to Earth, with Dean possessing a vessel called Jensen Winchester and Sam possessing his brother, Jared Winchester. The two of them had disposed of the guardian angels watching over Jensen and Jared prior to their possession and later went on to change their names for safety. Their current aliases are ‘Dean’ and ‘Sam’. Their real identities are unknown.

Gabriel Shurley (Gabe)

Species: Human (Hunter)

Personality: Gabriel is reserved and lonely, he’s very reluctant to talk about his feelings. Despite this, he can be quite humorous once you get to know him and he enjoys a good prank.

Likes/Dislikes: Gabriel has a big sweet tooth and loves any type of sweets or pastries. He also enjoys watching meme/vine compilations in his spare time.

Bio: Once his dad had left them, Gabriel watched his family fall apart as his brothers turned against each other. Unlike his siblings, Gabriel refused to take a side and stood in the middle during the conflict. He doesn't side with Mike (like Luci and Ralph/Ralfe did) and he doesn't side with Cas (like Balthazar did). It's because of this reason that Gabriel remained neutral when he discovered that Cas didn't want to hunt anymore after he’d married Kelly. Due to his broken family, Gabriel had a very lonely childhood and thus grew up to be reserved and closed off from everyone. He usually hunts alone and fills his time by taking jobs.

Sam (Moose)

Species: Angel (Fallen)

Personality: Sam can be oblivious, especially to passionate or strong emotions, and this is mainly due to his lack of experience with those types of feelings. He’s smart and strategic, the thinks logically but he’s also sympathetic and soft. Sam has a heart that’s as good as gold and, in contrast to his brother, empathises easily with humans.

Likes/Dislikes: Sam loves books. Literature is one of his most favourite things that has been created by humanity – he marvels at all the creative stories and logical explanations that’s been created by human minds. For some odd reason, Sam loves WiFi and WiFi loves him back too because it seems to follow him everywhere. Sam’s also grown attached to one of Cas’ older brothers; Gabriel.

Bio: (Sam’s bio is the same as Dean’s.”)

Michael Shurley (Mike)

Species: Human (Hunter)

Personality: Mike is an honest and passionate man. He’s decisive and is usually the one to take charge in most situations. Out of all the brothers, he’s the most responsible.

Likes/Dislikes: Although Mike is responsible and usually takes charge, he hates the pressure and stress that comes with making all the decisions and making sure his brothers are safe and sound. Mike loves suits, he finds them attractive and sees a certain charm in them.

Bio: Mike is the oldest amongst the siblings and idolised his father greatly - despite his many mistakes. While he wasn't Chuck's favourite like Luci was, he still adored his father and was devastated when Chuck left them. He was very young and was forced to become a father, mother, and brother to his siblings. Although it's been years since Chuck disappeared, Mike is still hopeful and determined to track him down and bring him home to his family.

Kelly Shurley (deceased)

Species: Human

Personality: Kelly was a sweet and selfless woman. She was very caring and hopeful. She had a positive outlook in life and was always full of energy. She could be reckless and impulsive at times; she would often think with her heart rather than her mind and she could be very empathetic.

Likes/Dislikes: Kelly loved to play the piano, she wasn’t amazing at it but it brought her a lot of joy. She loved her husband and son a lot and would’ve done anything to protect them. Kelly hated assembling furniture though, it took so much effort and she’d end up frustrated and fed up.

Bio: Kelly was a hunter and was introduced to the hunting life at an early age by her parents. She was working a case when she ran into Castiel, and the two eventually clicked and grew closer as friends. Continuing to run jobs, she would often call Cas for help and vice versa until they became hunting partners; and later on, they would fall for each other and get married. Cas slowly stopped taking jobs, but Kelly still worked them like usual until she found out she was pregnant with Jack. It was after that that she finally abandoned the hunting life for her child's sake, and both Cas and her lived a relatively normal life from then on.

Lucifer Shurley (Luci)

Species: Human (Hunter)

Personality: Luci is narcissistic but also bottles up a lot of his feelings. He’s the most emotional one out of the Shurley brothers but refuses to talk about his feelings; he hides them behind sarcastic remarks and his some-what twisted humour.

Likes/Dislikes: Due to his narcissistic nature, It’s no surprise that Luci loves to be praised and given attention. He also adores his Gucci flip flops.

Bio: Luci is the second oldest out of all the siblings and was Chuck's favourite amongst them. He was praised and doted as a child, which expanded his ego to the size of Jupiter. Beneath his pride and sarcastic remarks, Luci still loves Chuck a lot, despite all the doubts he may have surrounding his father and whether or not they'll ever find him. Luci deals with the gritty and bloody things that they have to do to find their dad. While he, Mike, and Ralph/Ralfe were working a job, Luci stole some Gucci flip flops, and now he wears them everywhere. Some say they've become a part of his feet, because he almost never takes them off.

Balthazar Shurley

Species: Human (Hunter)

Personality: Balthazar is sarcastic and humorous. He’s very open and flamboyant but also caring. Balthazar idolises his little brother, Castiel, for stepping up against their older brothers and for choosing his own path. Balthazar cares for Cas a lot and is willing to help him out any way he can, but he often disregards his own health and well-being because of this.

Likes/Dislikes: Balthazar loves partying and dancing; he absolutely rocks the dance floor and enjoys going out and having fun. He loves having freedom and hates it when someone tries to restrict him.

Bio: As well as being the second youngest, Balthazar is also the most open out of all the brothers - he’s the most likely to talk about his feelings. Balthazar was too young to remember anything about Chuck and only grew up in the hunting life because of his brothers. As he grew older, he became neutral on the subject of their missing father. Of course, he’s still somewhat upset because of his father’s disappearance but doesn’t express or feel as hurt about it as his other brothers do. Throughout his life, Balthazar has always admired Castiel for his rebellious nature. Balthazar’s admiration only grew after Cas stood up to their brothers when they confronted him about his decision to drop out of the family business. Currently, Balthazar seems to idolise Cas and is willing to do anything to help his brother and take care of his well-being.

[worksofphiction]

prompt#2(inspired from pinof)dan really likes being a gross bf& picking phil up and carrying him places and pulling things out of his reach bcz of the few inches he has on him& basically being really cheesy& annoying p &making p blush& giggle but one day he doesn't realize that p had been in a vbad mood and keeps teasing him till he bursts into tears& when d apologizes& tried tocalm him p simply puts his arms up silently asking to be carried& d just picks him up n rocks him,sorrys n sleepycuddls

Phil Lester and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Read on Ao3

Summary: Phil has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and Dan makes it all better.Genre: Fluff, Hurt/ComfortWord Count: 3,398Reading Time: 00:12:33Disclaimer: Characters are works of fiction and no copyright infringement is intended. I do not own Dan or Phil and as far as I know, this never happened.

Dan Howell loved everything about his boyfriend. Absolutely everything. Phil was his perfect compliment and he wouldn’t trade his best friend, lover and second half for anybody in the world.

When Dan was getting to know Phil, he looked up to him. Both figuratively and literally. Phil used to have a couple inches on Dan and at the time it was perfect. They were the perfect height for those romantic kissing scenes that were in the movies, they fit together perfectly when snuggling in bed and they could hold hands with no strain on the other person. Ever since Dan went through his growth spurt at 20 however, he caught up to Phil. So much in fact, that he gained a couple inches and surpassed his boyfriend’s height. This was no problem. Now Dan would be the bigger spoon and when they kissed, Phil would angle his head up a little bit. It didn’t change their dynamic, it only made it better.

One of Dan’s favorite things about being taller than Phil was his ability to hold things just out of the other boy’s reach. This was a game that Dan liked to play a lot when they were lounging about. Dan would offer to grab something for Phil and then hold it above his head playfully, making Phil jump to grab it. Sometimes he would set things on the top shelf in their kitchen where Phil would have to ask Dan to lift him up to fetch whatever it was. Dan would always snicker behind Phil and right when Phil was about to grab the object, Dan would step back a couple steps and put it out of Phil’s reach once again. When he put Phil down after finally letting him grab the object, Phil would chase Dan down the hall with it, yelling about wanting to kill the younger boy.

But of course, he never did. Phil would just chase Dan to his room and they would collapse onto the bed together, giggling and heaving from their tiny bit of exercise. Dan would kiss Phil on the nose and tell him that he loved him, followed by a million more kisses on his cheeks. Phil would blush and turn his head to hide it, only causing Dan to squish his cheeks and kiss him sloppily on the mouth.

This was Dan’s favorite past time.

And things were perfect. They always had been.

That is until one afternoon. Dan was sitting in the lounge playing around on his phone and deleting apps that he didn’t use anymore when he saw the Pokemon Go app that had been collecting dust since his Farfetch’d quest. He chuckled a little as his thumb hovered over the little X in the corner that, if pressed, could delete the app and all its data in one go.

“Hey, Phil?!” Dan called, knowing that the other boy was just around the corner in the kitchen. Phil didn’t answer, so Dan used his voice and called louder. “Phil!”

“What what what?” Phil came in wearing two blackened oven gloves and a sour expression. Dan glanced at his flour covered self and shook his head, choosing to ignore the frazzled state his boyfriend was in.

“What are you doing today?” he asked casually as if Phil wasn’t smack dab in the middle of something.

“Um…well I was just about finished with my-”

“Great! Want to go on an adventure with me?” Dan interrupted, hearing just about finished and deciding that was enough. Phil answered with a skeptical look and he glanced back in the direction of the kitchen.

“Um…sure. What for?” Phil shifted on his feet.

“Well, Pokemon Go came out about a year ago now, right? I was just about to delete it but I was thinking we should give it one last horrah? You know…for old times sake?” Dan said all this in an enticing tone, so Phil wouldn’t be able to say no.

“You wanna film it?” Phil suggested, shrugging. That was all the confirmation Dan needed however and he quickly stood from his chair.

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He gave Phil a tiny kiss as he snatched on of Phil’s oven mitts.

“Hey!” Phil fought, running after Dan who was, as usual, holding it above Phil’s head. Phil jumped a couple times before being able to grab it, shoving it back on his arm and giving Dan a chuckle. Dan rewarded Phil with another kiss on the cheek as he ventured to his bedroom for something to wear. “Be ready in ten!”

“Can we make it 30?” Phil responded, his voice barely audible from where Dan was now.

“25!” Dan shouted as he locked himself in the bathroom to do his hair.

When Dan left his room so many minutes later, totally ready to go, he got a whiff of something super strong coming from the kitchen. He covered his nose with his sweater paw and grimaced.

“God, Phil. What is that smell?”

When Dan entered the lounge, he was greeted with Phil trying to tie his laces with a pout.

“I burned my cake.”

“You what?” Phil didn’t usually cook many sweets. Dan would know, the bought sweets were coming from their joint bank account. They were Phil’s weakness. Plus, neither of them could bake for shit.

“I was making a cake and it burned.” Dan noticed that Phil was having particular difficulty with his shoelaces, seeing as one was much much shorter than the other.

“Come on, Phil! We have to get going or we’ll lose daylight!” Dan tugged on his boyfriend’s arm, yanking him out the door. Phil sputtered a little but he eventually just tucked in close to Dan as they walked out of their apartment and into the real world. “I was thinking maybe we could get some dinner while we were out. What do you think?”

“Sure,” Phil answered, the idea seeming to spark interest in the other boy.

“What are you in the mood for then?” Dan asked, bumping his hand against Phil’s, this being the only way they could act close in public. It sucked sometimes not being out to everybody, but it was worth the privacy in their relationship.

“Maybe Chinese?” Phil suggested with a small smile on his lips. Dan knew that was his favorite. And he knew just the place to take him.

After walking a few blocks away from their place, Dan pulled out the camera and decided this would be a good place to start filming. He passed the camera to Phil and told him to start it up. This was a pretty common procedure and because the game was Dan’s idea, Phil would film him first.

“Dan…” Phil mumbled after messing with the buttons.

“Hm?” Dan was working on fixing his hair, not trying to look like a rat for the entire internet.

“The battery isn’t charged,” Phil said. “We didn’t charge it after the last time we used it.”

“What? Lemme see that.” Dan grabbed the recording device from Phil’s grasp and inspected the flashing light on the side. He sighed. “Fuck.”

“That’s okay. We don’t need to film today. We can just-”

“Weren’t you the last person to use it?” Dan turned to Phil, his eyes landing on a shocked expression painted on his boyfriend’s face.

“I mean, maybe…I don’t really reme-”

“Phil! You have to remember to charge it!” Dan whined as he bumped into Phil’s shoulder with his own. This happened every now and then, especially with their profession. Usually, they take it pretty light heartedly but Phil looked pretty guilty so Dan just dropped it and sighed, opening up his app and beginning to hunt for the little digital creatures without the audience. He might catch more without it anyway.

They were hunting for a few hours when Dan’s stomach started to growl. He consulted Phil and they decided that they should start heading for food. Luckily, they weren’t far from Phil’s favorite Chinese place and when they arrived, Phil reached for the door.

Except it didn’t open.

Because they were closed.

“What?!” Phil exclaimed, his whole body slumping. “They’re closed?”

“Aw man. I was looking forward to the dumplings as well!” Dan whined, a hefty sigh leaving his throat. He put his hands on his hips as he scoured the street for something else while Phil just stared painfully at the closed sign above his head. “Wanna do pizza instead?”

“I guess,” Phil responded, his voice quieter than anything now. Dan felt bad but there wasn’t much he could do about it now. He was hungry and they needed to eat something.

The pizza took thirty minutes to finally arrive to their table and in that time Dan had caught 15 Pokemon. Phil was clicking away on his phone with a bitter frown while Dan was mildly distracted. And once the pizza was placed in front of them, Dan excused himself to the bathroom to wash his hands without even noticing that the toppings were incorrect.

-

When Dan excused himself to the bathroom, Phil put his head in his hands. This had been the worst day that Phil Lester had had in a long time.

He woke up at 7:00am to an angry phone call from his brother, something about the website and a glitch in the system. He got up to take care of that and he stubbed his toe on the bathroom sink while he attempted to put his contacts in, but when he lost a contact in his eye, he decided to just go with glasses which were for some reason giving him a headache. He traveled into the living room where he messed around with some website settings to make his brother happy, ultimately curling up on the couch to catch a couple more ZZZ’s. When he woke up a couple hours later, all he wanted was some chocolate and luckily they had some chocolate cake hidden in the back of the pantry. Phil decided he would try to make it, however, he must have accidentally hit the oven’s temperature knob with his hip while he was mixing because it got way too hot and the entire thing burned in minutes. He stained his corgi shirt with chocolate batter and then while he was trying to tie his shoe, his lace snapped and he couldn’t get a proper loop. He just tucked the lace in which had fallen out thrice since, causing him to trip. Their camera battery was dead and it was probably his fault, his favorite Chinese place was closed, his brother sent him another angry email and now their pizza had come with the wrong ingredients and he couldn’t find the energy to care.

Obviously, none of this was Dan’s fault and he didn’t want to inconvenience the other boy with his own problems, so he had done his best to keep his mood neutral, but when Dan returned and didn’t even notice that the pizza hadn’t come with their specific toppings, Phil was just about ready to go back to bed.

“Hey, you okay?” Dan asked, probably at this point, picking up on Phil’s sour mood. He wasn’t doing much to hide it anymore, to be honest, and his frown was probably noticeable. That and he wasn’t even eating the pizza. “You have to eat, Philly.”

The endearing nickname was something Dan used to make him feel better on a day where maybe things were slightly off, but today was a lost cause. The nickname only irritated Phil because he wished it would work like it usually did.

“I’m not hungry,” he mumbled, giving his best attempt at a smile and Dan just shrugged, grabbing another slice.

“Hey, didn’t we order sausage on our pizza?” Dan asked, his mouth full of cheese and pepperoni. Now it was Phil’s turn to shrug, his eyes focusing on the waiter who was coming over with their bill.

It wasn’t long before they were en route to their place again. With only Dan eating, the pizza was boxed up rather early and now Phil was carrying it as Dan was catching another Pokemon.

All Phil could think about was getting home and ending the day. He wanted to climb into their bed and pass out, starting over the day and hoping it went better than this one. But of course, they still had a mile to walk and there was a group of girls screaming and coming right for them.

Great.

Just what he needed.

He put on his friendliest face and sighed when Dan kinda stepped away from him in an effort not to out them. Phil knew it was protocol, but he still felt a little sting. He wanted Dan near him, now more than ever.

“Hey guys!” Dan spoke, pulling them into a giant group hug.

“Oh my God! I can’t believe it’s actually Dan and Phil!” One girl exclaimed, her smile spreading and her nose poking into Phil’s rib cage.

“Yupp! That’s us!” Phil said, his eyes glancing over at Dan, wishing that Dan could read his mind and hurry this up.

“Do you guys want a photo?” Dan asked, gesturing to one of the girl’s cellular devices. They all nodded and handed Dan (who had the longest arms) the phone to take the picture.

For some God forsaken reason, the photo kept turning out blurry and it was forever before they were able to shake the girls that seemed to be freaking out a little. They kept asking why the pair was outside at all and Phil was in no mood to deal with it. He tried his hardest to seem kind, but it came off as being short and he actually received a glance from Dan because of it.

“Wow Phil, what, do you have to pee or something?” Dan commented on Phil’s shortness, prodding at Phil as he usually did. Phil said nothing and shook his head, Dan just laughing a little.

They finally walked through the front door of their apartment and Phil literally slumped. He kicked off his shoes and started for the bedroom.

“Hey, where are you going?” Dan asked, grabbing Phil’s arm.

“I’m really tired. I think I’m just gonna head to bed,” Phil was salty but he wasn’t going to take it out on his boyfriend. Dan did nothing wrong. It wasn’t his problem. Plus, if he brought up how terrible his day was, he would have to relive it. It was better off he didn’t talk about it. He tried his best to be calm and collected as Dan came closer.

“Not without a kiss you aren’t,” Dan threatened playfully, closing in and wrapping his arms around Phil’s slumped body. He went in for a kiss, like usual, and then without any warning, picked up the older boy and started shuffling towards the lounge.

“Dan!” Phil yelled, flailing a little, trying to process what on Earth his boyfriend was doing. “Dan, put me down!”

“Make me!” Dan giggled, picking up speed and going towards the sofa. He threw Phil onto the furniture and started to tickle him, Phil’s legs kicking and his arms trying to push Dan off.

“Dan! Please!” Phil couldn’t help but laugh, he was really ticklish, but this was not what he wanted. He appreciated the effort, Dan clearly picked up that something was wrong, but he had no idea how bad of a mood Phil was in.

Suddenly Phil was thinking about his whole day all over again and how he just wanted to sleep. He thought about his yelling brother, his failed cake, the restaurant he just wanted to eat at and now this? He couldn’t help but close his eyes and start to cry. His cheeks flushed and then tears were rolling down quickly, as he just gave up.

Dan wasn’t stupid. He looked up to see Phil’s smile and was greeted with tears that alarmed him immediately.

“Oh God, Phil! Did I hurt you? Oh my God, I’m sorry! What did I do?” Dan stopped and scooted back so that Phil had plenty of space, just in case Dan had hurt him in some way. Phil just shook his head and rolled over so that his face was inside the couch. His body racked with sobs, Dan sitting behind him with no clue what to do. “Phil?”

Dan reached forward and rubbed Phil’s back gently for a few minutes, saying nothing and Phil appreciated that. That was what he wanted. Silence and comfort.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. Did I do something wrong?” Dan said meekly, a guilty tone laced within his words. Phil knew he would blame himself and that’s not at all what Phil intended. He shook his head. “Well, then what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

Phil took his tear streaked face from the nook it was in and he took a deep breath. He looked into Dan’s eyes for a long time, taking comfort in the big brown orbs that had always soothed him. He glanced at his lap and then he sighed, doing something he had never done before. He raised his arms into the air and bit his lip.

-

Dan stared at Phil while he sniffled, noticing how blue Phil’s eyes got when he cried. Dan felt sorry and he wasn’t even sure what had happened. But then Phil was doing something he’d never seen the boy do before. He was lifting his arms up. Like a child did when they wanted to be carried.

“Phil?” Dan asked hesitantly while Phil just looked at him silently with his arms in the air.

Dan contemplated what to do. He was pretty sure Phil was asking to be picked up, but he didn’t want to screw up again and hurt his boyfriend who was already in an emotional state. Phil was staring at him with those big blue eyes and suddenly Dan couldn’t help himself. He stood up and walked over to his boyfriend, who seemed extra small right now, collecting him in his arms (who knew he was this strong) and carrying him to his bedroom. Phil didn’t fight in, only hummed gently into Dan’s chest when he made contact, sending butterflies to Dan’s stomach. Phil had never looked this vulnerable.

Dan placed him gently on the bed and looked down at the boy who suddenly looked the most tired Dan had ever seen him. Dan couldn’t remember if he had looked this way all day or if this was after the tears.

“Phil, want me to go to bed with you?” Dan offered, wanting to wipe away the sad in any way he could.

Phil just nodded, curling into himself on top of the duvet and Dan sighed happily, already excited to cuddle up around his boyfriend for the night.

He gently pulled the duvet from underneath Phil and shed both of their clothes, climbing into the bed and around his sulking boyfriend.

“Would you like to tell me what’s wrong?” Dan suggested softly, letting his body heat soak into Phil’s usually cold body under their blankets. Phil nodded and wiggled his body to make himself comfortable against Dan.

“I had a very bad day,” Phil mumbled, his eyes shutting and his heart rate slowing.

Dan nuzzled into the back of Phil’s neck, the feeling of Phil’s skin was always comforting, even when he didn’t have any problems of his own. He hoped the same was true for Dan’s skin on Phil’s.

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart. I shouldn’t have dragged you out of the house.” Dan realized his mistake, going over the facial expressions Phil had made a few times that morning. Maybe he should have paid a little more attention or asked Phil for his opinion twice. “Can I do anything to help?”

Phil shook his head and just mumbled, “wanna sleep.”

“Alright.” Dan wrapped around his beloved even tighter, after reaching and turning out the light. He rocked Phil gently as they lied there for a while. Phil’s sniffles got less frequent and soon his breathing had slowed. “Sleep well, Philly.”

“I love you,” Phil said in the most quiet of voices. Dan would have squealed it was so cute, but Phil’s ear was right next to his mouth and that wouldn’t have been pleasant. He just kissed the other boy’s earlobe and whispered,

“I love you too.”

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.19: “Jack in the Box”

THEN: Eh, you know all this. Oh, wait, here's something interesting - a reminder that Naomi was overcome by the Empty slime. Which reminds me of my theory that Naomi and/or Duma might actually be the Empty Entity. Hmmm. Oh, and also, all the Jack stuff.

NOW: There's a bunch of hunters in the bunker, drining beer and looking at pictures of Mary and her stuff on the map table. Including the picture Sam burned. Well, I'm glad it wasn't the only copy. And whatever these rings and calipers are that are always on the map table, apparently they're permanent, because they weren't removed for this little memorial display. Also, John's journal is part of the display, and I know they gave it to Mary to read, but still, it's John's. This bothers me.

So, are these surviving AU hunters? If not, that means the Winchesters have opened the bunker up to every hunter they know (and revealed its location to everyone they know), which is... not what I would have done. TFW makes an entrance (why were they not in there with their guests) and Dean thanks them for coming and makes a little speech but I'm finding it real hard to concentrate on Dean right now because LOOK AT SAM'S SHIRT. LOOK AT IT. It's CLOSE-FITTING and it's NOT PLAID and whatever awful things this episode does (and my completely unspoiled prediction is that IT WILL DO AWFUL THINGS), we at least got this.

I strongly suspect this is actually Jared's shirt.

Dean informs the gathered that they missed the pyre, sorry. And he mentions that some of them fought Michael with her in the other world so they ARE AU hunters! Or at least some of them! Well, that's good to know. Sam doesn't have to feel personally responsible for killing everyone who came over, just a handful. Including the only one who had a name, and probably that guy who called him Chief (sob), but some of them remain. Anyway. Dean gives his eulogy (and Sam's not the only worth a second look in this scene, because Dean looks pretty amazing as well) and they drink beer and then an AXE FLIES IN OUT OF NOWHERE, SLOWLY AND AWKWARDLY SPIRALING INTO A HUNTER'S HEAD. People seem surprised, but it's the mild kind of surprise you'd get if he threw his beer at somebody, not if an axe suddenly appeared embedded in his head. The thrower of the axe walks in - it's New Bobby. WELL.

Title card! Bobby informs me that it was a hatchet, not an axe, and he wants it back. (Sidebar: It literally never occurred to me to think about the difference between a hatchet and an axe until earlier this week when I was listening to a murder podcast that specified someone was killed with one, not the other.) He also tell us that the "hunter" was actually a wraith "from a nest your mom and I busted up" and SEE, GUYS? This is why you don't invite people to the bunker. Now a bunch of wraiths probably know where it is. And we know the warding is a joke. Cas thinks Mary would have appreciated a monster at her memorial. I don't think Cas knows Mary very well but whatever.

Bobby asks Sam how he and "the other one" are doing, and we watch Dean pack up Mary's belongings (including John's journal? that's going away?) and Sam says he "seems to be doing okay" which is, of course, how they operate. No one asks how Bobby's doing, even though he had a relationship with Mary too (and over the course of her life probably spent as much time with her as Sam did, when you come right down to it), but Bobby says he's not into public displays of grief anyway, and Dean is probably the same (which is true, except for when it's very very not true).

Sam suggests they drink the scotch Ketch left (and I wonder if this means Ketch came for the memorial, and left some scotch, or if he's referring to a bottle from a previous season that somehow remained through all those events that really would have called for some serious scotch-drinking) and talk about Mom. Dean points out that they have been talking about Mom and stalks out and leaves Sam sad.

Sam and Bobby and Cas settle for beer instead, and Dean walks in just as Bobby asks "what exactly happened to her, cause I'm hearing, the kid." Oh, that's interesting that they wouldn't have given him the whole story. Or maybe it's not. Maybe it makes sense that they'd keep things vague, tell everyone she "died on a hunt." Dean needs a drink, but not in the bunker. Sam tells him they need to talk about Jack, and he says "we will" and quickly makes his escape. Bobby and Cas have this funny exchange.

I liked the kid. We fought together. But there's only way this ends.

Bobby's right. We have to find Jack and help him.

What?

Hee! Cas feels Jack might not realize what he did was wrong, and Bobby astutely points out that if he didn't realize it was wrong, that's kind of a big problem, because if Kelly's influence has been burned away, that means Lucifer is all that's left. Bobby means to hunt him down. "An unstoppable monster who don't know right from wrong gets put down." Um, Bobby, let's consider the unstoppable part of that declaration. (Also, should someone point out to Bobby that Jack accidentally killed someone even back when he did have a soul? Probably not.)

Cut to Jack, who is still? again? at an abandoned warehouse or factory or something. He's remembering what he did, and wishing his mother was there to tell him what to do. Oh, she's not here, but Hallucidad is. He tells Jack that the Winchesters don't care about him, he was just a pet and a weapon, and again, it hurts knowing that this is Jack's subconscious saying these things. Jack thinks he can explain and apologize, and if that's so, Jack, then why didn't you do that when they caught you raising Mary's not-corpse? No, says Hallucifer, they hate you.

Cut to Dean, sitting outside somewhere in the dark, crying.

This is not okay. I mean, it is, but it's not.

Heaven. (yawn.) Cas again tells Duma that he wants to see Naomi, and again she denies him. It turns out Naomi is in "a very small cell" because Heaven was invaded under her watch. I didn't think they had enough spare angels around to lock one up just because they don't think she's a good leader. She might be a great follower. (Yeah, probably not.) Cas tells her he needs help looking for Jack, who has burned through his soul and is no longer being protected by the Winchesters. Hmmm, she says, this is very useful information to have. Internally. Out loud, she tells Cas she'll see what she can do, which he of course takes as an offer to help. Oh, Cas.

Bunker. Sam's working at his computer when Dean comes back. Sam's wearing a different shirt. I don't know if that means it's the next day, or just that he changed out of his nice funeral shirt. He asks Dean how he's doing, but Dean ignores that and asks what Sam's doing.

Trying to find Jack. We've gotta find him before Bobby and his crew, because if they find him first -

He's gonna kill them all.

... I don't know.

Oh, Sam, you DO know. You are obviously concerned about Bobby et al killing Jack, not the other way around. And it breaks my heart. Sam also wants to talk about Mary and the fact that they don't have to rely on faith to know Mary's in Heaven, because they personally know Heaven and angels are real. Dicks, but real. He says Mary's in a great place, with John, because again we're forgetting or denying what we know about Heaven. Dean, the eternal ray of sunshine, points out that there wasn't enough of Mary left to bring back to life even if they wanted to.

Back to Jack, who has a surprise visitor. It's Duma! Oh, cool, she's helping Cas find him, just like she said she would! Ha ha ha nope. (Sidebar: How did Duma find him, and why doesn't Cas have the same ability? Discuss.) He remembers her from his trip to Heaven that one time he died. She tells him Mary's death wasn't his fault, and he deserves redemption after his mistake, because he has "a glorious destiny." She tells him Heaven has fallen apart since God left, and no one gives them the respect they deserve, but Jack, YOU can save Heaven and make the world better and wouldn't that make Sam and Dean happy? Their first stop on the Make The World Better Tour is to turn a famous God denier into a pillar of salt. Oh, irony. (Also, he's safe from ghosts now, so. Bonus?)

Bunker. Cas is telling the Winchesters that Heaven promised to "make every effort" to find Jack. Which 1) isn't exactly what we saw happening, unless you're naive enough to think "I'll see what I can do" means "I'll make every effort", and b) even if that is what Duma said, as Dean points out, "Oh, Heaven promised? Great, well we should take that to the bank." But Cas thinks Heaven has as much reason to want to find Jack as they do. Which is true. But doesn't mean they're going to turn him over to you, Cassie.

Coincidentally, Sam has just read about Professor Pillar of Salt. "Why does that sound familiar?" Dean asks. You know, I don't know the Bible very well. If a particular event didn't show up in "Jesus Christ Superstar" or "The Ten Commandments," I'm not likely to be familiar with it. And yet I know about Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt. And I've never been to Heaven or met an angel. So.

Cas explains the story and says no ordinary angel could turn a human into salt. Sam reads another story about a dishonest televangelist (yeah, I know, that's redundant) who had a crevice open in the ground under her and swallow her up, and again Dean's not familiar with the story, but this time I'm not either. But Cas knows it's from the book of Numbers. Allegedly, only Jack or Chuck himself could perform these acts.

Heaven. Duma tells Jack he's doing excellent work, and he can help bring Heaven back to its previous glory.

Sam and Dean will like that?

Words can't begin to express how Sam and Dean will feel.

Hee!

So let's talk about what's going on here. I appreciate that they're framing this as Jack trying to get back into Sam and Dean's good graces. In fact, I'm a little hopeful at this point. If Jack-who-is-being-used-by-Heaven is the Big Bad, doesn't that mean stopping the Big Bad could just mean they rescue him from Duma's manipulation? Maybe? (Yeah, I know. But a girl can dream.)

Anyway. Duma's next task for Jack is to create more angels. She tells him he can't make them out of thin air, but if a human is "predisposed" to it, he might be able to forge them into an angel. Oooooh, this opens up some chilling possibilities about who could be turned into an angel. But it turns out he's not going after anybody named Winchester. He's just sitting on the throne "where your grandfather received prayers" (and where your father sat) and listening to prayers. (Sidebar: Why hasn't Sam tried to communicate with Jack by praying to him? Discuss.)

For whatever reason, he hones in on one particular group of worshippers who are about to discuss the book of Samuel (hee!) with Pastor Ames. Jack zaps into the room, asks if they meant it when they said they wanted to go to Heaven, and shows them his wings. Sold! Pastor Ames missing that demonstration, so when he comes in and calls Jack a liar, Jack hits him with another Biblical curse: "he was eaten by worms and breathed his last." Pastor Ames falls to the ground with worms popping out of him everywhere, and Jack and his future angels disappear.

Hospital. Guys, look at the suits! Have they ever worn such narrow pants? What is going on here? Someone new in the wardrobe department?

Mama like.

Agents Kilmister, Clark, and Taylor (hee) are visiting bandaged-up Pastor Ames, who identifies a photo of Jack. They leave, and Cas recites the relevant verse and Sam says, surprised, "so you think this is another Bible thing?" AS IF THAT WASN'T WHY THEY'RE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, and as they leave, we see that Pastor Ames is not over his worm infestation after all.

Back at the bunker, Dean tells Sam that he didn't want it to come to this, but they have no choice. Come to what? What's behind the door in room 5B? It's the thing we all knew was coming - the box! (And if you didn't see it coming, the title of this episode clearly gave it away, which is why I consider titles of unaired episodes to be spoilers.) Sam, who is clearly not behind this plan in any way shape or form, points out that they don't have the ability to force Jack into the box, and he won't go in there of his own free will.

But he might. He might if he only has to stay in there long enough for us to finish the spell to fix his soul.

Spell? What spell? There is no spell.

*We* know that.

Oh, no, this is not good, and Sam already hates it.

... So, you want to lie to him.

No, I mean, I *want* Zeppelin to get back together. But what I *need*, what *we* need, is to stop Jack. Big difference. But here's the deal; we both gotta sign off on it. This might be our only shot, and if he even catches a whiff that this is a scam, he's off into the wind.

Exactly. Now, how do you think he's not gonna know something's up?

Because you're gonna be so damn sincere -

Me? Why me?

Because you've always been in his corner. You're his go-to guy. Sam, if you reach out, he'll come. If I do it, after what happened to Mom, I could lose him. I *will* lose him.

Oh no, no, no, Sam is SO not on board with this plan. Because the worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't work, and the second worst thing is that it does work. Dean is so calmly insistent, and Sam is so unhappy, and his FACE when Dean tells him HE will be sincere is just killing me, and no matter what I think about this episode or or this entire story arc, I love what the guys are doing with this scene.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm finding a silver lining here.

Sam sits down at the library table and begins praying to Jack, which doesn't answer my question of why they haven't already tried communicating with him that way. In fact, it makes me ask it harder. He tells him that they're family, and bad things happen in families but they want to get through it, they want to be like they were before. Jack hears Sam's prayer as he assembles his future angels. Meanwhile, Cas has barged his way into Heaven to rescue Jack, having figured out that Heaven has no mercy and angels do bad things, and Cas? How is this POSSIBLY news to you? Duma threatens to end Mary and John's happy little afterlife together (Is this confirmation that they really are sharing a Heaven, even though his name isn't on the door? Maybe. Do I accept it? Not necessarily) so Cas stabs her. Well. We're down to, what, ten angels now? He calls for Jack, but Jack's already gone, having just appeared in the bunker.

Jack tells Sam and Dean he's been working with Heaven, and "if it helps, I regret it... the accident."

Again, the guys do a beautiful job with this scene. Even if it's an awful, awful scene, they're acting the hell out of it. Sam is as anxious as he was when he was trapped in a cell with Jack the day he was born, the way his hands twitch when he gets up from the table and circles behind Dean, and then carefully places himself between Dean and Jack, and how he physically reacts when Jack steps closer, and they're both keeping their distance and moving so carefully, and then there's the way Dean is practically unblinking and is very obviously working SO HARD not to spontaneously combust, staying practically motionless and keeping his voice even, although anyone could tell he's absolutely BOILING under the surface from the look on his face and his tone of voice every time he says the accident. All of this is amazing.

But yeah, it is also an awful scene. Because Jack isn't guilty or apologetic at all. He's actually kind of smug about working with Heaven and making angels, and very condescending about regretting "the accident," and I just don't think he would be there. I think he would tell them how sorry he was, and that he tried to fix it, and basically everything he said to Hallucifer. He wouldn't say "I knew you'd understand" when they tell him they forgive him. His blind self-assurance would make sense if it came at the end of a 2- or 3-episode arc, where Duma had spent more than a day telling him how awesome he was. So while I love Sam and Dean in this scene, love them to pieces, Jack is just... ugh. Beyond OOC. Moving on. Dean tells Jack they're working on a way to fix his soul, and they want to keep him safe (from having another ACCIDENT) in the meanwhile. Sam oh-so-tentatively puts a hand on Jack's shoulder and dear GOD he is so afraid and I LOVE IT.

Again, quite a silver lining to this dark little raincloud.

They take him to the room with the magic box, which Dean claims is "actually pretty comfortable." Dean stays still and Sam fidgets and Jack says "okay" and climbs into the box. "How long before I can come out?" he asks. Sam is more and more fidgety as he says "not too long," and Dean is like stretched rubber band about to snap as he holds himself back from slamming the lid down. "Jack, we got this," Sam lies. "Okay," Jack says again, and he lies down and they didn't even put a pillow in the damn box, why does he think this is okay, why does he think they're working in his best interest if they didn't even give him a damn pillow? Dean shuts the lid and rushes to close the locks and Sam hates this, hates it so much.

Shhh. Don't even listen. Just turn the sound down and enjoy the pretty, pretty angst.

Alone in the box, Jack calls to the Winchesters, but they're already shutting the door to room 5B. They move to the kitchen to finish off Ketch's scotch and talk about the future.

So what do we do now? Just go on, with Jack locked up in there forever?

We have to.

I don't know if I can do that.

Dean ignores Sam's shaky voice and decides to talk about the scotch and sure, we all recognize this is Dean's way of coping. Pretend it's not happening, pretend it doesn't bother him. Because I have to think that, no matter how much he wants revenge against Jack, he understands that being locked in that box forever is still a horrible fate. (A fate Dean was willing to accept, but still.) Sam, meanwhile, needs to talk, just like he needed to talk about Mary.

You know, I never thought it would end like this, with Jack.

Sammy, we knew from the beginning it was a long shot with him.

Yeah. Yeah. But, long shots are kind of our thing.

So let's talk about Sam's guilt. His beautiful, beautiful guilt. Not only over tricking someone he loves into being locked up in a box forever, but for bringing Jack into their lives in the first place. And yet. Jack has always been unstoppable, hasn't he? So if Sam hadn't opened his humongous heart and taken him in, he would have been out there alone. No one teaching him how to use and control his powers, no one keeping him away from Lucifer. He would have been an unstoppable enemy instead of an unpredictable ally. Sam did the right thing, even though it ended bad. Because it was always going to end bad.

Have I mentioned that I could watch an entire episode that was just Dean drinking?

Back in room 5B, Jack's starting to panic, and still calling for Sam and Dean. They don't show up, but Hallucifer does (oh god, I want to see Sam find out he basically locked Jack in that box with Lucifer) and informs Jack he's been played.

In the kitchen, Cas arrives with the news that Duma has been manipulating Jack, and they really need to find him. The guys are all, oh, whoops, forgot to call you, he's here, locked in the box.

Jack gets glowy eyes and tries to break out of the box, but nothing happens.

Cas is horrified that the guys still plan to keep Jack in the box, even knowing his latest acts were due to being manipulated. Sam says "That's the problem. If he's that easily manipulated, he's too dangerous to be out of the box." Oh, no he doesn't. Instead, Dean says "He agreed to it." Yes, in much the same way Sam agreed to be Gadreel's vessel. You keep telling yourself that, Dean. In fact, Dean is trying to claim that deep down, Jack knows it's best. Oh, no, no you don't. Cas points out that Dean manipulated Jack as much as Duma did.

(Sidebar: I'm convinced that Sam would be able to forgive Jack. Because of his endless capacity for forgiveness, and because he sees himself as being in Jack's shoes at a different point in his life. Dean, on the other hand, would not. Because Dean is a normal human being when it comes to forgiveness, and because Dean puts loyalty to family above everything else.)

Box. Jack tries harder. Lucifer laughs. The box glows.

Kitchen. The arguing is interrupted by an earth-shattering kaboom. Things fall off shelves. The red emergency lights and klaxon come on. TFW leaps up and runs to room 5B. The room is a smoke-filled wreck and a figure with glowing gold eyes is walking out of the red-tinged smoke. "Jack," Sam gasps.

Duh duh duuuuuhhhh! Next week, Cas makes Dean write I knew a nephilim was more powerful than its angel parent but I assumed the box would be stronger than Jack anyway 100 times on the blackboard.

Okay, the bad happened, as we all figured it would. But let's talk about the good. Jack's not locked in the box forever. That's a relief - it would have been a very unsatisfactory conclusion. And the guys looked extraordinary. And there was so much emotion, both the tightly-controlled type, and the worn-on-his-sleeve type, and I love them both. Honestly, considering what happened in this one, and who wrote it, it was a lot better than I expected. A lot better than it could have been. (Will I go read your reactions now and see that every single one of you disagrees with me? Quite possibly.)

Next week is the next-to-last "Carry On Wayward Son."

Please help me stay unspoiled, thanks!