#so he could no longer so easily put aside feelings for him for the sake of others

[breadmecoshy]

So, we have a MC with obvious suicidal tendencies, who finds himself in terrible circumstances, a ML who is desperate and has lost everything, who is depressed for most of the book, sounds like fun reading for the evening

The main characters of the novel "How to survive as a villain", Yan Heqing, and Xiao Yuan in the body of the Emperor of the North and in their own body

I'm reading this story for the second time, and for the second time I'm crying on the best arches

[neptune-scythe]

ok no longer rendered speechless from Confessions

the thoughts have cooked, and it's the way they made the very conscious choice to include Buck in Eddie's moment of joy, and not just because Buck is fundamentally rooted in every aspect of Eddie's life, especially the good parts

but it's the way they gave Buck a negative experience in that moment.

an experience Eddie could have so easily broken his moment for, to give everything to Buck in that moment and push aside his own needs and desires and existence

but he didn't

he just

welcomed Buck into his moment.

LIKE Y'ALL

Ok ok

the moment of joy, taking just a few minutes to just do something for the fuck of it because it makes him happy is obviously an amazing step that would be enough right there

BUT THEY TOOK IT A STEP FARTHER

they said

not only is Mr. Eddie Diaz taking a moment for joy, he's keeping that moment of joy when he could drop it for the sake of being there for his friend. But instead he's just letting his friend into his moment of joy, he's acknowledging that the two can coexist, both feelings, both experiences ... that there's as much space for him as there is for everyone else in his life

and that's just huge I think

like the episode starts with him saying "I put my desires before his needs" and implying that there is no space in the world for Eddie Diaz and his feelings/desires/needs, and they end the episode with Eddie allowing himself to experience a moment of joy purely for himself WHILE ALSO making space for someone else and being exactly what he needed just by physically being there and existing

because his desires and other peoples desires can be equally important

his needs and other people's needs can be equally important

and someone else said something about how neither of them have to do anything to support each other or provide any kind of service to be valuable

all they have to do is just exist and that is good enough for the other

(I cannot remember who made that post but that shit has been in my mind rent free every since so shout out to whoever that was)

and its just literally that

but also the fact that they make space for each other to exist however they are in that moment

they can be on the complete opposites of the emotional spectrum and sit together in silence and that is good enough

it's more than enough

it's everything

it's all they need

IT'S INSANE

IT'S SO FREAKING INSANE

like imma be so fr right now

I do not believe in love

I don't think there's any scenario where love is eternal and fulfilling and reliable and worth anything

and there is not a single ship or romantic partnership or queerplatonic partnership or friendship or any other kind of relationship that I can't think of a billion ways it would end tragically

except for Buddie

genuinely I cannot think of a single scenario where they would ever stop loving each other or supporting each other or being the most important person to the other

they are just so fundamentally perfect for each other, so engrained in each other's lives by choice

I honestly have no fucking clue what love is, but I think its whatever they have

and low-key if they never become romantic that is a o k with me because that perfect impenetrable bond they have will still be there and that is good enough for me

they're insane

they're perfect

they're so special and unique

no one is doing it like them

nobody ever

I still don't believe that that kind of thing exists in the real world but I will continue to loose my shit over it

[shadybiotics]

PT2 | MAUGA & VENTURE × READER headcanons

[ PT1 HERE ] writing some more for them cus i cant get enough of their dynamic

Mauga wouldnt mind sharing you, polyamory was nothing new to him and he knew better than anyone about the need of exploring ones options and the fun that can bring. Plus, whats better than one lover?

Venture on the other hand... was not so keen on the idea. Not at all actually. They werent so much the possessive type and felt quite secure about their relationship with you, but what really irked them was that it had to be him out of all people.

Not only was Mauga full of himself but he also had no respect or consideration for anything other than materialistic goods and shiny things, or at least thats how Sloane viewed him.

If you had some fun with Mauga, Venture would know. Not because you bragged about it but because the sneaky bastard would leave hickeys only others could notice. Some behind your ear or the back of your neck, something you could, and often did, very easily miss.

If him and Venture had yet another argument prior, he would no longer bother trying to hide his markings. Instead, he would make sure they were as dark and as many as possible and would then leave the problem of covering them to you. He knew that Sloane would know it was him and that only irritated the archeologist further.

Forget about Mauga, what irritated Venture the most was how he pulled these little stunts and played these games at your expense.

But Venture was no better. Venture tried being the bigger person but they just couldnt. They were both childish in that sense.

So Venture played along. And when you spent the night with them instead, they'd make sure to leave something for the eyes too. Something for theirs and Maugas eyes only. Little bruises and marks along your chest, ribs or thighs, something they knew only Mauga would have to see sooner or later. Venture would then coax you to mark them as well in easy to spot places; neck, jaw. Hoping for that to be a silent but strong enough 'fuck you' to Mauga. They would even strain their neck and keep their chin high to make sure he would notice.

Even tho they disliked eachother they knew how to act civil and put aside their bickering when they wanted to. Sometimes, all three of you needed a break, some time to relax, so you would go out to a bar. Sometimes it would be a club, depending on the mood.

Mauga would keep ordering you a round of shots or some fun sounding cocktails, or whatever you picked out when he offered to get you something. It was cute at first, issue was he didnt know when to stop. Or he didnt want to stop.

With one large arm around your shoulders, he would pass you drink after drink.

Whatever you picked he ordered for himself too. There being a very obvious difference in mass, he wouldnt feel a difference while you felt the alcohols effect very quickly. But Mauga didn't see a problem. You were all here to let loose, no?

Venture would juggle between nonalcoholic beverages and some light booze while they cautiously watched you drink, unsure of Maugas intentions. With each passing glass they saw you get more bubbly, more chatty and more touchy... with everyone.

For the sake of your own dignity, they told themself, Venture would keep you close to them so you wouldnt wander off getting touchy feely with some stranger, or even worse, Mauga.

They'd keep you close as they held you by your waist. At this point you were practically wasted, your eyes could barely stay open, so you were both sat. Venture was sure you wouldn't be able to stand if you tried to. Your hands still feeling grabby held tightly onto and squeezed their arm as you leaned heavily into their body.

Mauga, enjoying himself like nothing, would try and snatch you away for a dance, feeling only slightly tipsy now, but Venture would quickly swat his pesky hands away letting you rest unbothered some more.

[juvenillia]

~ Death of Peace of Mind ~ 04: bonding

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!reader

photo credits go to very talented @ave661

a/n: Welcome back, todays chapter is a bit longer because it's a lot happening. I know it's still a Simon centred fic, but I want to have a whole plot with everyone in it. Let me know what you think, reblogs are highly appreciated

CW/TW: trauma, canon violence, torture, ptsd, guilt,

wordcount: 4k

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The night wasn't long, not like you could get a long rest anyways. It was quite early when you got up, put your basic fit on, and went off for today’s mission. It was the premiere with your new team. You weren't the first one arriving at the preparation room. Ghost was already here, putting his gear on. You eyed him from top to bottom. "Morning.", you said calm while getting your gear on. The man only nodded the slightest, acknowledging your presence. You wouldn't say you felt uncomfortable in a room alone with him, but the bare thought that he could easily tear you apart if he pleased was unsettling. Especially when you believed that he still must be mad about yesterday.

Indeed, Ghost was pissed, but not about the fact that you won this round. He respected you for your performance, but he was angry at himself. Angry that he let you push him that far. Angry that he wasn't really able to read you during the sparring. Angry that he was blinded from the situation and still angry the way that you treated his Seargent. Simon would never approve it for anyone to hear, but he loved Johnny, his easy and cocky side always entertaining Ghost. And watching how hard the Scot tried to befriend you, and you literally shoved him out of your way, that made Simon furious. Yes, he still thought you should be treated with caution. Yes, he would rather have stayed in their earlier constellation. Yes, Simon himself shouldn't care about it, and of course, Simon would prefer you not to get too close to them because he didn't trust you. But his teammate found quite a liking in you, no matter the reason, and Simon would not watch how you hurt his feelings. You were a threat, and you would stay that.

"Good morning.", Gaz was the next one to enter the dressing room. Both of you greeted him more or less silently. Soap trailing in just behind him, "Mornin." You could feel your heart slowly sink when he immediately turned away from you, moving to Ghost's side. It was what you expected and what was totally relatable, plus it was for the best of both of your sake. You turned your full attention to your gear, getting ready in time. Shoving all those ongoing troubles aside. Your hands lingered a moment onto a hard shell completely stained in black before you pushed it into a pocket of your vest.

Price entered the room. "Good morning 141.", he stated softly, already in full gear. "Morning, sir.", all of you answered. He looked pleasant around his crew. "Any questions before we head out?" - "Negative, sir!" So, you took off for your place of destination. Your mind was running over the plan again while sitting in the helicopter.

The mission should be an easy operation. There was a former military base that was used by the Russians some years ago. It was completely empty, but a reliable informant gave away that there were suspicious movements tracked down. The theoretical empty base suddenly got electric power. Your informant did observe the base for a few weeks straight. Nobody got in, and nobody went out, but the pure fact that the base got power again could gain your team the possibility to gather some important intel from the leftovers of the computer servers. Still, you needed to be careful. You never knew what you would expect for reality when entering an enemy base.

Gaz and Soap chatted gladly away over the comms. Gathering them a few comments from your captain. The Scot seated next to his Lieutenant and Gaz next to the Captain in the cockpit. Ghost was silent as always. He traded his skull balaclava for a black one with a divided skull sewn onto the material. Soap explained you a bit about his 'style' during your morning rounds. Your eyes lingered onto him, taking his whole figure in. His whole appearance ignited some high interest within you. After what you already learned, you weren't so different from each other. His eyes were distant, nearly blank. You supposed that he was also running through the whole process for today. You would trade your liver to get even a glimpse of an insight into his mind. As your thoughts roamed about the man in front of you, you simply caught yourself staring at him a bit too long, and just then, his eyes darted back to you, and your glances met.

Your looks were blunt, not knowing what the other could even think. You tilted your head away, not wanting to have this intense eye contact with him. This indeed made you feel uneasy.

It seems like it, that he could so easily turn his emotions off, if he even had them at all. You weren't so sure about that. He managed that with an ease while you tried to afford it so hardly. Your mind faded away to a time long gone forgotten, a time where you could easily switch it off. A time when you were a different soldier. Even a different person. Do you really wanted to go back there? Back then it was a downward spiral, and it took you so much effort to get out of it. Do you really wanted to waste all of his effort and turn again?

"Arriving in five.", you heard Gaz' voice through your earpiece. It stopped your thoughts from rambling and let you decide quickly that you couldn't show any weakness today. Especially not on the first mission, no matter how easy it was supposed to be. You needed to prove yourself. Your eyes trailed back to the stoic figure in front of you. You'd need to prove yourself to him because otherwise, this collaboration wouldn't work out.

"Sorry, Droplet...", you whispered to yourself before your hand found the pocket of your vest and fished for the cold and hard material. You pulled out a face shell made of diligent woven carbonate fibres. You set it in place and let the clasp close behind your head. You closed your eyes and breathed in the familiar scent, the air flowing through the mask into your nostrils. It covered the lower half of your face. Ending shortly above your nose. Both men across from you watched you without any further reaction. At least, that's what you thought.

The helicopter landed, and you went out to find the base. Carefully getting closer to the area just to see that it seemed to be really abandoned. "We need a way to get in.", Ghost stated while getting closer to what looked like a side entry. Gaz and Soap did examine the heavy metal door. "We could blow it up.", Soap stated while taking a closer look at the door. "Shouldn't be too difficult." - "Negative.", Ghost stated bluntly while keeping an eye out around. Soap looked a bit disappointed. The man just loved explosions too much. Especially when he was the person to carry it out. You walked along the wall that melted into the ground, pointing out that the base would be mostly underground. Your eyes scanned upwards and caught a little rusty plate.

"Captain.", you didn't yell but your voice was clear for Price to hear. He turned his head towards you and you also caught the attention from the Lieutenant and Soap. Gaz still invested with the gate. "Would you mind lending me a hand, sir?", you asked pointing your index finger up to your find. Price nodded and walked up next to you. You handed him your rifle before he bended his knees to make himself a bit smaller and holding out his hand. With no effort at all you took it and climbed onto his shoulders. Now high enough to reach for the plate, you took one of the smaller knifes out of the holster on your thigh to screw it open. Handing your Captain the plate down. Afterwards you reached to the new obtained edge to pull yourself up. Price helped you to reach it even easier. You pulled yourself into the ventilation shaft and made your way into the base.

"Skadi, you have ten minutes.", you heard Price's voice over the comms while crawling through the tight canal. "See you in seven.", you answered quickly.

Being small had quite some benefits. You could hide better, and you could reach places men like them could never fit in. Something you used to your advantage very often. Price went back to the gate where the other men waited and looked at him, just a few minutes passed before the gate clicked and a rusty squeak could be heard. You pushed the door open and was greeted with a pleasant look from your captain who handed you your rifle back. All of you headed in. To fulfill the operation quicker you decided to split up. You went with Soap to the right, while Ghost and Gaz went to the left. Price stayed at the surveillance room you found to collect as much intel out of there as possible.

You frisked the base without any problems. Going through room for room, finding some untouched hard drives you gladly picked up. You checked on each other through the comms. Nothing suspicious. Just as you entered the fourth room, you heard a little clink. It was barely audible. You could've easily missed it, but you didn't. It alarmed something in your guts. Soap roamed through the room like he didn't notice it but you weren't able to push that bad feeling aside. "Stay alert, Soap.", you cleared your throat. "Aye.", he looked at you and instantly focused on his surroundings. "Lt. Status?", he asked through the radio, but there was no answer.

You moved closer to Soaps side, keeping your senses up. "Your status, Lt? Gaz?", your partner repeated. There were only crackles coming back through the comms. "Dia-diag!" [God damn], he breathed out. Another crack from the distant. You pressed your gloved index finger to your lips, signaling Soap to keep quiet. The two of you moved to each side of the door that lead to the next room. The door opened and you could hear voices, speaking Russian in a muffled tone that you couldn't barely make out what they were saying. As soon as the door opened it was closed again. They must've disturbed your communication, but the rather important question was, where did they come from?

The two of you made your way up to the next room, carefully investigated to get a hold of the situation. Still, hearing some cracks through your earpieces. Making already possibilities out what the others were going through at the moment. Hopefully, nobody was injured, but right now, you had to get a grip on the situation around you first. It didn't take you long to arrive in a warehouse likely surrounding. Scanning the room for threats and people. You could at least track seven lightly armed people. But what kept your focus the most was a box with an electronic device. You pointed it out to Soap. It was a jammer, the device that separated you from the rest of your team. You really didn't want to open the fire, but you needed to put the jammer down. Communication was the number one priority.

Taking the jammer down without even one of the seven soldiers realize was nearly impossible. So, you needed a plan for a distraction. Drawing their attention somewhere else also meant that there was a high chance of attracting even further armed enemies to run over the two of you. Not knowing how many people were running through this hallways was mostly dangerous. Especially when you didn’t know in what state the other two teams were entangled. Suddenly, and without a warning the sprinkler went down what alarmed the soldiers in the room. This was no coincidence. It couldn’t be. You took your chance, prowling along the stacked boxes to get closer to the jammer. Soap staying close behind and focused to cover you. Just in case.

One guy stayed close to the jammer, two others in his instant reach. If you would take him down, the other two were on you within seconds alerting the unknown numbers of enemies in the area. While making out the best possibility you could hear a nearly inaudible knock. You tilted your head and saw a skeleton glove just around one of the boxes across the room. A quick trace of relieve washed over your face before turning your eyes onto his fingers. He pointed out with his gloved fingers two, then five and another four. You could see him move forward and your brain went into autopilot. You signaled Soap to take care if the jammer. Before your feet started to move.

It was clear to say that you were a professional, but working in such a rhythm with a person you didn't know at all was another level. Ghost and you moved like an unit, taking out one after one while Soap took care of the jammer. You weren't even questioning one move, your brains did somehow bond and you moved as if you shared a braincell. You wear stealthy and silent. Anytime you took someone down, Ghost was already on the person that could've seen something. Taking cover of each other until no one in this room was able to breath out even one word in Russian anymore. You were already surprised that a behemoth of a man like him was that fast, but that he was also that stealthy. You could see now, why his callsign was Ghost, it only made sense. You worked perfectly in tandem. Then you noticed another crack in your comms and Price voice rung through the earpiece. "Anyone, copy??" - "Roger, sir.", Ghost answered calm and quick, and with that you were back in the game.

From now everything went on even faster. You infiltrated the space quicker than you thought. Gaz worked on another computer in the warehouse while Ghost, Soap and you took out the last poor souls walking through that place until you made your way back to rendezvous with Price and Gaz to back out again. As silently as you came you left the place, leaving no one behind and Price made sure to destroy every hint that could lead back to your team. Not sure what of intel you gathered, but when they protected it that way, it must be important.

All of you made it to the evac point without a scratch. Price looked at all of you proudly while taking off with the heli again. "Good job team.", he told through the mic, and everyone looked pleased. Even Ghost looked somehow relaxed. "I'm very proud of each of you. Couldn't think of a better start.", he kept going and you could feel yourself growing relaxed. A common warmth filling up your chest. You barely forget how much you liked this feeling. Mission accomplished, the adrenaline still pumping through the veins, and the feeling to helped making the world even the tiniest bit better. Clear to say that you missed it, but you're were back here and maybe this new team wasn't so bad at all. Maybe you could grow with it and find yourself a new place, but only maybe.

"Yer thinkn' what 'm thinkn'", Soaps voice echoed through your head and the next thing you could hear was a sigh by your Lieutenant. "Usual place?", Gaz asked, and you could literally hear his grin through the headphones. "Sure thing!", Price only answered. This could only mean there was another team bonding activity to come. As soon as you were back at the base everyone got their gear off, took a shower and you all met up in front of the base. Soap and Gaz greeted you with a bright smile, Ghost only standing next to them, wearing a casual black balaclava. The question of how many of these things he owned crossed your mind. You couldn't help yourself and smile slightly back at them. You traded your casual combat look to an even more casual look. Still wearing your boots, one pair of your favorite jeans, a long-sleeved turtleneck, and a leather jacket.

A car came to halt, and you could see Price in the driver’s seat waving you to get in. Ghost casually took the passenger seat while Gaz, Soap and you got into the back. Soap taking the middle seat and as polite as he was, he literally squeezed himself against Gaz to not invade your personal space.

Within a half an hour ride where you already listened into Gaz, Price, and Soap gladly small talking you arrived at a small pub. All of you made your way up and took a table in the very back corner of the local. Ordering the beverages, you did favor and gladly talked about everything under the sun. You didn't talk much, more like listening to anything they would give away and you enjoyed this. You couldn't think back to the last time you were out with a bunch of people and felt so at peace. Especially enjoying a few good drinks while surrounded by men without feeling the pressure of social standards. Maybe you simply worried too much. Maybe, just maybe you could relax and just let things happen. Just maybe you could grow to find a strangely comfort within the 141.

The ability to be more talkative raised with every additional drink flowing through your system and soon you found yourself highly enjoying to gladly chat away over the most random topics. Like the meals in the canteen, workout routines, things you might noticed today during the mission. Even mocking Soap while mimicking his Scottish accent. Everything felt at peace for once. Even Ghost seemed to enjoy this scenery. “Sooo…”, Gaz exclaimed expectantly “I’m really curious. How did the two of you met.”, his eyes switching from you and Price. You were seated next to each other. Soap and Gaz across from you and Ghost at the head of the table between Soap and Price. Soap pinched Gaz into his side. “Kyle…”, he breathed out, believing that this information would be classified. Price let out a chuckle clinging on his glass filled with coconut water. Your head tilted in the direction of the oldest man, and you just nodded. Your elbow placed on the table, so that your head could rest into your palm. “Remember when I told you about the Malmö incident?”, Price looked at the guys in front of him and they nodded. “Where you were imprisoned in Sweden?”, Soap asked curious.

“Imprisoned, tortured and isolated in a shithole.”, you corrected him. “Bloody hell…”, Gaz let out with his mouth wide open. Even Ghost eyes were lingering curios on your figure. “You were in this together?!”, Soap asked with a high-pitched voice, nearly knocking his glass of whiskey over. “Uh huh.”, you nodded, your head still in your palm. “It was quite a bonding occurrence.”, the man to your left stated. “Never thought that shared waterboarding sessions could bring you so close together.”, you nearly laughed out while taking a sip from your glass. “Better than any couple counselling.”, Price added with a genuine laugh. Of course, back then you had nothing to laugh about. Tied back-to-back with a stranger of another military unit you didn’t even know, for three weeks straight without any hope to make it out alive. Either of you could easily gave the other away, even with fake information to save their own ass, but you held together.

Not saying any words than useless shit talking. Sharing information that both of you are British, which tea you would prefer during cold nights, which of the royal family you’d rather like to meet. Beside the endless waterboarding sessions, bone breaking noises and sore limbs, you kept yourself sane talking. A bulletproof trust building with any further day you had to spend more in there. After you found a possibility so slip out, you needed each other to be even able to walk out of there. To your fortune it was also the day the enemy hq was invaded by your former team and you made it out alive. With many new scars, and traumatic nightmares but also with a new ally. Price didn’t even hesitated for you to drop in the hospital, he offered you right there a place in his team. An offer you declined while you were steadied by one of your teammates. But you traded numbers and promised to reach out to each other if there was somehow help needed. Promised to have each other’s back even after leaving that dark place.

Price didn’t explain what happened in every little detail but rounded down about some things. All of the men around clinging to his words, and you always added like a little comment or nodded silently along. “Without that woman, I wouldn’t have made it, and I’m really glad that were now able to fight alongside each other.”, he smiled proudly while putting a hand on your shoulder. “Oy, zip it.”, you smiled while your cheeks turned slightly rose. Praise was never a thing you were able to process. The waitress came to your table and brought you another round of drinks. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol in your system blinding you, but you could’ve sworn that even the eyes of the Ghost himself were relaxed and slightly creased, almost like a smile would grow behind that mask.  “To Skadi then!”, Gaz exhaled and raised his glass. “To the 141.”, you corrected him and raised your glass yourself. “Aye!”, Price and Soap joined in before you clinked all your glasses together.

“Can I ask you another thing, bonnie?”, Soap beamed at you with flushed cheeks and his drink still in his hand. You nodded towards him. “Why the mask?”, his eyes never leaving yours, but with his questions you could feel your face falter. The smile slowly washing from your face. “An old habit.”, was everything you said bluntly before drowning your drink. Soap immediately noticed the change in your manor and didn’t question it any further. “Maybe that should be the last round.”, it was one of the less things you heard your Lieutenant say for tge whole night in the pub. “Oh c’mon.”, Gaz tried to protest but Price also shook his hand. “No, no, our Lieutenant is right. It’s already late and there are some works ahead tomorrow. Waiting on your reports.”, Gaz and Soap sighed overly dramatic before heading outside. You trailed behind.

The drive back to the base was unusual silent. Soap and Gaz felt asleep on each other as soon as Price started the engine. You could only hear both men in the front from time to time talking about formal stuff. Your eyes were pinned onto the screen of your phone. You had opened a contact, a name you did read so often but not anymore for the last half year. Maybe you were too drunk, but maybe it was the right thing to do. You typed a message in, but before you could press send the vehicle came to a stop and you were back at the base. Ghost waking Soap and Gaz roughly up. You deleted the message and shoved your phone back into your pocket. That was a problem sober you should have to deal with and not the drunken one, who just wanted to fall asleep as fast as possible now, and that’s what you did. As soon as you touched your bed you were gone and for what felt like an eternity you had some proper rest.

taglist: open just lmk

@yyiikes @saffronimagines @originaldeerhottub @illuminwtesz

[bring-forth-your-justice]

Can I request a fem!reader comforting Atsushi when he's feeling lime a monster? Please???

This took a little longer to put up, mostly cuz I got sidetracked but better late than never-

Note: might need a little editing

TW// Just sad thoughts

word count: 900

Kindness was something only afforded to the well-off, those who had a future, and those who had a choice. 

Atsushi was neither.

A boy born alone was destined to die alone and lay beside souls akin to his. That was the only thing that he was granted at birth. At first he had no demands, no autonomy and no desire for it either. In a way he was content; in the sense that he felt such depths of despair that he knew there would never be anything better awaiting him. 

No matter how many tears he would shed while in that deplorable excuse for an orphanage, he only chose to blame himself for ever being born. He could never ask to receive a sliver of kindness, not as long as he was who he was;

a monster. 

Such thoughts left a mixture bittersweet tastes on his tongue, one in which he writhed in. When it settled in his mouth, refusing to leave, he took it as another punishment he deserved for being born.  

How someone could love something as pathetic as him was a joke that even the lowest of scums would have dying in a fit of laughter. 

No matter how long it had been since he left that damned orpahnage, regardless of how many people he had found who showed him love and kindness, regardless of intent, he could never push aside his resentment for himself. 

He was born a monster, not a boy. At least if he were, he would be afforded that tiny grace. Instead, Atsushi would be damned for his entire life for being born as something that brought ruin and danger.

Constantly did he run a race against himself. Not only was he his own victim, but the monster that desired only his blood. A never-ending cycle; stretching on until the day he stops regenerating his limbs and elongating his own suffering.

He never asked for an ability that would bring destruction to everything and everyone nearby, including himself. It was the reason he wasn’t afforded even human decency. It was why no one dared to glance in his direction, yet eyes would continue to haunt him, watching him intently with judgment and the desire to watch him perish.

Sometimes all he wanted was to scream into a void of nothing,

 “I never asked for this-!”

Again and again and again until his voice would give in and he would have nothing left of himself.

How long had it been since he grew to think of such horrid thoughts?

Did he ever love himself?

It was almost as if his memories were a barricade of what the world told him to remember. The torment, the suffering, the loathing. Lest he ever love himself or that beast that took respite inside him. Where were those memories of peace and comfort? He wasn’t sure they ever existed; but if they did, he so desperately wanted them back.

To change was all he could do now. It wasn’t too late was it?

Even if the world wanted him dead, he wanted to fight for a reason to exist. Even if he felt his thoughts slowly comply to the orders of the world, he would fight with himself for the sake of them, for her. 

They say that only fools are satisfied, and he was no fool to give in so easily, not yet at least. Not as long as he basked in her brilliant grace which bubbled his heart away from the disgruntled waves that came to wash him away.

“Your ability is a grace my love, a grace made to protect you in the world. A gift only granted to you because only you can make peace with it.”

Her words rang out, a symphony awaking him from a self-induced trance. Her embrace assuring him that he had not yet departed from this world yet, and neither would he have to. 

“You belong in this world, should you choose to believe it or not. Even if you deny its validity, know that you’ll always have a spot next to me.”

Was he awake?

How long had he been trapped inside his mind? 

It didn’t really matter, not when those thoughts were as fickle and fictitious as the painted shadows he cast on those he was scared to touch. Once again, he chose to flip the page, one darkened by his mind, and carry on. Swinging her hand from side to side, he walked beside her, the shadows that trailed after him all burnt up and dried somewhere far behind him, to a destination unknown. 

No matter how many times he fell to his thoughts, and his memories, and trapped himself in the depths of his mind, exactly where the beast could degrade his status as a person, she always found a way through that maze right to him.

In the end, he knew that one day both of them would rot away like fallen leaves, but regardless, all he desired was to live on frantically.

Shouldering their lives together, 

Living on,

Even if he was hated by life itself.

[lightlycareless]

Chapter 39 - thoughts.

Heya everyone! Back here with the latest chapter's notes :>! Sorry for taking a bit longer this time, I haven't been feeling quite well tbh (I'm a bit sick, and then I got that monthly visit wtf, and it's super hot again too!!! UGH)

There's nothing much to say outside of a few highlights here and there, and how I initially wanted to write one scene but didn't go with it in the end.

As always, I recommend you read the newest chapter first before continuing, also, no that great of a proofreading was done here 😅 but I hope you're still able to enjoy it!!

And without further ado, spoilers under the cut:

Things I wanted to show/clarify in this chapter: What really happened in Naoya’s mind when he was sick. Albeit a bit… rushed (or so that’s how I feel it went) I still think I managed to cover most of the things :>

So to everyone’s (or perhaps not lol) surprise, Naoya did remember most of the stuff that happened—Yep, even that promise.

Now, I was told that many would not take well the possibility of him denying it, so… I’m sorry to say that he had to act the fool lol. It’s pretty much true at this point that something did happen between his family and Y/N’s in order for that marriage to happen, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that Naoya would suddenly go back on his words and just act like it didn’t even happen in the first place.

What’s worse (or commendable I guess) is that he tried to distract Y/N by “bribing” her with pancakes… if only his transgression wasn’t as awful as it was.

The whole thing was very tense afterwards, however, because of this, I think he finally allowed himself to be a bit more open about his feelings, like, actually reflecting on his actions. But he’s not quite there yet, as you saw in this chapter. He gets that he messed up, sure, but he still believes that she’s overreacting, and sometimes, even blaming others.

As stated, he doesn’t really get all the fuzz about being close to one’s family, just his mom I guess (and we all know how that went), but outside of that he’s like “Ah, whatever. She’s supposed to be most of the time with my family anyways.”

But of course, after having a relatively happy interactions with Y/N and then back to square one, if not worse… well, something had to change.

That had to be the biggest advancement in his character. In the previous moments where Y/N has been shown to be suffering, unhappy, so on and so forth, Naoya couldn’t care any less; He wanted to be the most detached away from that situation and jump back in when she’s in a better mood—but now, he’s all about seeing her get better; helping her get better. He doesn’t like the sight of her being sick, unhappy.

He’d give her the whole world if she asked for it type-of-thing, even willing to push aside his differences with Naoaki for her sake.

Kind of lol. Naoya is still a very jealous man indeed. Also, not all of the flowers were from Naoaki, just a few here and there, most of them were from her staff instead and one other servant that heard of her predicament and wanted to wish her a quick recovery, but in his eyes, it doesn’t really matter: if there’s one flower that came from Naoaki, that’s all he cares about.

The second advancement would be his opening up. The way he had to seek Ranta for the first time in his life just to talk about his feelings is something that had the poor kid rightfully surprised. And he doesn’t even know about the nightmare yet 😊 Not that I remember writing it anyways lol. I don’t think it’s something Naoya (or anyone really) could easily put in words, the emotional burden must be OOF.

I wonder what kind of reaction Ranta would have to that nightmare? He would be petrified for sure.

The third advancement would be related to the second one, and it would be Naoya’s initiative when trying to “mend” his mistakes with Y/N. Like, he didn’t even call Ranta for suggestions on how to win her back or something, although he did get some persuasion on his part.

It was mostly Naoya just… speaking from the heart if you like. As if he wanted to do things that he thought would make her happy. He didn’t even question them, think of them as silly or anything, he just did them because he wanted to (if only he did the other thing!!!)

This part has to be the saddest one of the whole chapter. Naoya trying really hard to make amends with Y/N and her simply not having it.

The worst one yet would have to be how she rejected one of his absolute favorites, his manga.

I had to make it nasty, at least what I thought nasty, and for me that was using one of the most commonly associated words when describing people who like anime: weird.

It hurt Naoya for sure to hear those words coming out of her mouth, it’s one of those happenings that if traumatizing enough, would push him to never open up to anyone ever again. But all I gotta say is that I’m not done with that aspect of his just yet 😊 and who knows, maybe they’ll connect about it in the future. And with her own likings too.

The flowers were obviously another thing that hurt the most when writing, and I was actually planning on making them sunflowers instead of roses to have a bigger emotional significance, call it a “coincidence” to the fact that Hinata literally means sunflower and this just would’ve pissed of Y/N even more.

The scene was going to develop something like:

If Naoya wanted to make amends, he should’ve at least had the decency to not gift you flowers that remind you of your sister—the one he had strictly barren you from seeing in the first place.

But I went for roses because I thought it would be a bit worse, considering their romantic significance and whatnot 😊 That’s the whole reason why she reacted so… crudely—because honestly, who thinks it’s a good idea to profess your “love” for someone that essentially hates you? Naoya didn’t’ do much thinking on that one, eh?

Finally, but not least… the confrontation. This must be the first time Y/N has openly told Naoya of the things he’s done to her—and believe me, this… certainly affected him. He was crying in front of her, and that’s another thing I don’t think she’s ever seen him do!

Unfortunately, it’ll pass undetected to her. But next time, it won’t 😊

TLDR:

Naoya treated the same situations from the past with a different perspective, when he was previously dismissive, if not completely detached, now he’s nothing but involved. Seems like he’s slowly getting… somewhere.

Y/N needs accountability.

And that’s it for this chapters notes!!! They’re quite short because I think I mentioned all of the things I wanted to in the chapter :> And there’s still more to come next one…

Honestly all of this is pointing to the next chapter, to the one moment I’ve been dreaming of since I literally started plotting everything.  And I said before, I just hope everything comes out as expected!! Unfolds nicely!!!! If not :^)?

Anyways, these are just a few things that I consider relevant when writing the chapters, of course if there’s something else you’d like to know more about just let me know and I’ll try to do my best to answer!

As always, thank you so much for your support!!!! We’re finally approaching the sweet part of the story, I think hehe :> Can’t wait to show it!

Take care everyone, and hope to see you next update!

[konigenblobbity]

Paranormal Encounters [Part 2]

König x Poltergeist!OC

Warnings: Fluff, gaslighting, concerned Ghost, cuddling, slow burn multipart series

Summary: A few months have passed since Katya and König first met. The tension between them gone by now, and König can’t help but become more curious about who she is… well was. Just as it gets interesting, someone intrudes on their privacy.

A/n: For the sake of this story, König stays at the same base as the 141 team.

It’s been a few months now since Katya revealed herself to König. At the beginning it was tense between the two of them, he still had to get used to the idea that he doesn’t know where she was at any given time in his room. Feeling uncomfortable most days knowing his privacy was no longer his own.

When Katya did reveal herself, she would often scare König getting him to grab at his combat knife. Each time she’d apologize while he just sighed, putting the knife away.

Due to the amount of times this happened, König summoned her out one day to make a set of rules for the two of them.

-

Katya was sat on König’s bed, as he stood in front of her holding a piece of paper. He held a pen in the other. “If I’m going to allow you live- well… reside here. I made a set of rules you need to follow” she chuckled at the change of word choice but nodded. He then began to read from the contract.

“Rule 1: you will not steal any of my belongings, if you want to borrow one you need to ask first. Rule 2: when you are in the room, while I’m here, you have to be visible. Rule 3: if you take a nap on my bed, just make it again afterwards. Rule 4: Do NOT scare me ever. Intentionally. Rule 5: you cannot be anywhere near me during training or missions”

Once he was done he looked at her, she couldn’t help but giggle as she furrowed her brows teasingly. “I shouldn’t scare you? What, do you frighten easily or something?” He couldn’t help the blush that dusted his cheeks, of course she couldn’t see it due to his balaclava but he looked away nonetheless.

He cleared his throat. “Nevermind that. J-just sign it” he handed her the paper and pen, she took it with a smile, signing it before handing it back to him. Her hand grazed his and a shiver went through him at the coldest of her touch. “Good” he was curt before walking off and putting the contract away in a drawer.

-

Now, the two of them found a comfortable rhythm. She was no longer scaring him when she appeared and he has slowly opened up to her, greeting her when he sees her. They would even sometimes sit on the bed together talking about their day, König telling her about his missions.

It became a daily routine, he’d come back to find Katya on the bed, relaxing, or napping, or reading a book. They would then get comfortable, maybe enjoy a coffee together if König grabbed them from the common area, and just talk.

“I’m glad that it went well König” Katya smiles as she sips from her cup. König nods his head before randomly asking “How did you die?” Looking her in the eyes, compelling unwavering. She clears her throat and puts down the cup.

“U-uh well… I died on a mission” she says shrugging her shoulders. Those words immediately peaked his interest, he shifted so he was facing her directly, now invested in her story. “You… you used to be a soldier?” She shook her head and corrected him. “Lieutenant actually”

“Really?” She merely nods at his question. “Wow. What have you been doing these last 3 years then? Were you just… alone?” at this question Katya pauses for a moment. Debating how much to tell him. I mean, it’s not like he could tell anyone… plus she had no one else she trusted anymore aside from him. Even if she didn’t trust him endlessly.

“Well… actually. No. Call it a ghost task force” she chuckles, swirling her cup of coffee, watching the liquid swirl slowly. “Found me a week or so after I died, and since then I’d been a part of their team. That was until… I decided to leave. Even if they wouldn’t let me. I had to” her expression drops, recalling what became of her after she died.

His eyebrows furrowed at her words. “What do you mean? You had to? And why wouldn’t they let you?” He was only more curious and had so many questions but before she could answer them, there was a knock on the door, he looked at it, turning from Katya, watching it open slowly. In walks Ghost with a confused expression.

“Hey König… who are you talking to?” This question causes König to look back to where Katya was sitting, seeing that she vanished. “O-oh I was talking to…” König tried to think of an answer before looking back at the Lieutenant. “Myself” he decides to say but Ghost looks unconvinced, making it clear when he says “I heard another voice. A… female voice” König only shrugs. “Alright then… I’ll go” Ghost then begins to turn.

König’s eyes then shift to look behind Ghost, where he notices a hand phase in reaching towards the knife in his pocket. König stands up quickly as he shouts out “NO! Don’t do that!” Causing the hand to quickly phase away again. But also Ghost to turn back around in shock.

“W-What? Why?” Ghost stops dead in his tracks but König then awkward chuckles before saying “nothing! I thought I saw uh… I thought…” he couldn’t think of an excuse so he just settled on an awkward shrug causing Ghost to eye him up and down. “Get some rest. You had a tough mission today” and he then leaves the room.

König sighs before sitting back down on the bed. He notices Katya phase back so he can see her. She’s blushing and just floats in the air in front of him. He looks up at her shaking his head “You can’t do that, Ghost would’ve felt your presence in a heartbeat” making eye contact with her.

She floats down to stand in front of him. She shrugs with a cheeky smile simply saying “Even if he did, it’s not like he can hurt me” She had a point. But König looks at her unimpressed, she sighs and then nods, letting her smile drop slightly. “Alright. I won’t do it again. I just wanted to see his knife…” König looks at her, tilting his head.

“Why?” At his question Katya shrugs, floating back over to the bed. “It’s identical to the one I had. The serrated blade, leather handle, gold embellishments” She sits back down on the chair, crossing her legs and looking at her lap.

“When you’re a soldier so long, it’s the only thing you can really fidget with whenever you’re bored” Katya let’s out a soft chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. “I get it. It only feels like another limb to me now” König says in a soft voice, hoping to ease her discomfort. She looks up at him and smiles.

“I’m guessing it didn’t stay with you once you died?” He goes on to ask and she just shakes her head. “Only thing I kept was my body and the clothes I died in” he looks down at her clothing, noticing how it was regular clothes… not military gear. ‘She said she died on a mission…’ He furrowed his brows as he thought to himself, intending to ask her about it.

But as he looked back up at her face, he noticed her unease, recognizes her growing discomfort from talking about her past. He just nods his head and decides to save his other questions for another time. He watches her grab for her coffee before shifting on the chair, trying to get comfortable.

“How about we watch a movie hm?” He wants to remove the tension from the air, thinking a little down time was perfect for that. Katya looks at him before thinking for a moment, she then gives a smile “That sounds great” He nods and reaches for the remote for the tv in his room.

He notices her shift again and then pats at the open space on the bed. “It’s more comfortable” at that she just smiles and floats over to sit next to him. When he felt her cold presence, he scooted over slightly to give her more space. “What movie?” He asks her but she just shrugs, taking a sip from her drink.

“Anything released in the last 3 years? I haven’t really been able to keep up with any new movies” She spoke with a joking tone and he nods, after selecting a movie they sit an watch till they’re about a quarter of the way through.

The whole time he was debating whether to ask her for a favor… not wanting to make her uncomfortable with such an odd request. After a while he decides to simply do it, because what does he have to lose. He turns his head slightly, not enough to look at her but enough to signify he was talking to her.

“Hey Katya…” he begins to say and she looks at him, waiting for his next words. “Remember the day we first met?” He spoke quieter than usual, as if unsure whether he should even be asking this from her. She was taken aback but nods hesitantly.

“Could you… give me a massage? Like you did that day?” He paused for a moment, waiting nervously for her response. Katya smiled and nodded “Of course König, it’s the least I can do” before floating up into the air slightly, watching as König scoots forward on the bed giving her space behind him.

She floats behind him, moving higher up in the air, in order to be able to see the tv over his large figure. While he waited for her to position herself he shifted in his spot anxiously. Before she can begin, he suddenly asks “s-should I take off my gear?” A blush creeping up his neck, onec again not wanting to make her uncomfortable with the situation.

“No, that’s alright” she reassures him before placing her hands on his shoulders, phasing them through the gear to touch his bare shoulders. They’re cold, causing him to tremble slightly, but they feel soft and gentle against his skin. He relaxes under her touch. Her hands able to massage into his muscles expertly.

“Mmmmm…” König can’t help but groan out as he feels the tension in his body leave him, only making Katya more comfortable and confident in her efforts, digging her thumb into where she can feel a knot of tension. When she presses against it he can’t help but flinch lightly and groan out loudly.

“G-god… right there” he says softly making her smile. She continues to massage him, feeling him relax slowly. Even noticing how his eyes closed, completely entranced in the feeling of her touch. She was just glad that he felt comfortable enough to ask her for this. She wanted to help him… I mean, he was letting her stay in his room for free always checking in on her.

As time passed she could feel König lean back towards her, she then slowly phased her body into the bed. Allowing his body to fall and rest again his bed. She massaged him a little bit more until she heard his soft snores and his heavy breathing.

At that, she floats out of the bed, turning off the movie, pulling the blanket over him, and then going to lie on the bed next to him. As she lies there, silently watching this behemoth of a man, who she’s sure has killed hundreds of people, sleep so peacefully… she couldn’t help but feel at peace.

As the seconds past she scooted closer and closer to him. Feeling the heat practically radiate off him, she suddenly felt very cold. Well… she always felt cold but right now she felt cold and alone.

“He won’t mind if I…” she thought and slowly shifted to lie right next to his body, carefully resting her hand on his chest and throwing a leg over his own. Trying her best not to wake him up and hoping her cold presence won’t do the same. She let out a soft breath as she was finally comfortable, before closing her eyes.

She can’t help but feel that she found a new home… glad she was able to escape her old one. “I think I’ve found my Token… it’s you König” If only the others could see her now.

[nettleshuttle]

the more i think about it, the more certain i am that dm’s bakura and malik are easily the best ygo antagonists/villains

malik has a huge importance plot-wise and can actually play the damn card game. the decks he uses, first slifer and then ra, are cleverly managed and both give the good guys quite the scare. the typical revenge-oriented villain trope does determine much of his motivation, but the interesting twist is how he actually strives for groundless payback after putting all the blame on the pharaoh — he needs revenge for revenge’s sake, something to give him purpose and keep him going, until he’s so into it that he can no longer tell the difference. his gravekeeper background and the trauma he suffered at young age both make a lot of sense, as does the way he acquired the rod. his family, ishizu and rishid, do a great job in complementing and completing his character. besides, he’s one of the few (only?) ygo villains that act fucked up (real evil, i give him that) and get plausible retribution arcs afterwards — a good wrap-up with realistic, justified pacing is what most of them lack (ekhem yuri, ekhem quattro).

bakura is the major villain of the whole dm (it would appear) — and i love the way he’s absent through a good half of the whole plot anyway. his character is introduced in pegasus’s island, then he plays his part at battle city and returns only for the final arc, showing some very nice long-term pacing (just the way the millennium eye shows up after a long time to serve its purpose). the ryo-dark bakura-zorc-thief king set up makes a surprising lot of sense and explains a good part of the plot. the “evil non-human destruction entity” part is a bit cheap, but i can let it slide because it’s rather congruous. bakura’s motivations are really my favorite — his issue with the pharaoh is a tragic conflict, making his drive both understandable and condemnable. his personality and emotions adds a lot to the mix (as does being near-immortal): he’s not very goal-oriented and likes to do what he pleases, which is perfectly reflected in the battle city duel against yugi. it’s a shame that he gets annihilated without at least a proper death scene, but i guess it is rather deserved. either way, he’s the only major villain in ygo that is so well-developed (or at all) and has so much in common with a human being, especially if we count ryo in. the fact that he sucks at the card game makes it even better for the chaotic-evil “do i look like i have a plan” character he is, though they could have let him play more than, like, three duels in total.

being two revenge seeking antags with very different motivations, backgrounds and priorities — as well as very different endings to their respective stories — they do a fantastic job with forming the main villain body in dm. the personality split thing also works vastly different for the two of them, adding to the interesting dynamic. when i say that battle city is the best duel monsters arc and that they carried the battle city arc, well, i mean it. their interactions, ship it or not, are a great thing in dm. besides, there’s a sense of completion in the ends they meet that doesn’t exclude the bitter-sweetness of an open ending and a feeling of making sense, of plausibility that many other ygo antags fail to reach, even complexity of character aside.

[canarymemories]

cavalleresco

chapter summary:

still, there’s something pleasant about this thought, that maybe he’ll one day meet those who would guard his back in battle and he would gladly return the favor.

that dreaming doesn’t quite prepare him for actually meeting those people.

knights is, in the most respectful way he can put it, a mess.

1 | 2 | 3 | 5 symphony masterpost

here on ao3

tsukasa is used to tradition.

he’s been raised within the structure of his family with the knowledge he’d one day be taking over as head. just knowing that fills him with a sense of pride from a young age, meaning he takes to his lessons seriously and does his best to act mature.

the suou family is a long line of rife military ancestry and ties, so tsukasa’s heard stories passed down through the generations before him many, many times. he learns young the concept of having people to watch his back. in part, the branch family exists for this very reason and he sees no reason to not trust kohaku with that task even when he grows to dislike the divide between them, set in place by ancient standards that no longer work in modern times.

of course, being as young as he is, he considers who else around him he could rely on. the only other person he sees often enough outside of his family is tori and the very thought of him being reliable enough to fill that role makes tsukasa’s nose scrunch up in disgust.

still, there’s something pleasant about this thought, that maybe he’ll one day meet those who would guard his back in battle and he would gladly return the favor.

that dreaming doesn’t quite prepare him for actually meeting those people.

knights is, in the most respectful way he can put it, a mess. of course, most of that clears up with time, but they’re dysfunctional at best some days. yet he finds a home among them, a family created by chance that he finds a sense of comfort in.

even so, once the task of running the theater is put onto his lap, tsukasa isn’t sure what to do. 

he’s more than honored to take the helm on this one, but he doesn’t even know where to start. it’s meant to be his job and his job alone, serving as his coming of age if all goes well. he knows there’ll be no penalty if he fails here, but the thought of failing here, of potentially letting down not only his family who would likely be somewhat understanding, but also eichi, keeps him on task.

sort of.

somehow what turned into a task that was assigned to him and only him begins to involve more people. first, anzu who he eagerly asked advice from as she’s clearly more than able to run events all on her own. then, sora joins in, more than happy to help where he can, and somewhere along the way, that turns into both of their units coming together for their sakes.

tsukasa knows it’s a little silly of him to not start with his seniors. as disjointed as they may be at times, knights has come together time and time again, so it should come as no surprise that they offer their assistance as easily as they do. (he just wishes he didn’t have to seiza for them to get their point across.)

and the live goes on without a hitch.

he’s far more used to his seniors taking center stage with ease given their individualistic nature, but seeing them allow himself and sora to take that position in their own coming of age of sorts makes tsukasa feel all the more like he made the right decision in telling them everything.

the satisfying buzz of a completed live thrums through him once they step off stage, a sheen of sweat making the fabric of his sleeves stick to his skin. he’s managed to slip to an undisturbed corner of backstage where he messages his parents about how the live went as the two of them were unable to attend due to other family duties.

part of him is glad they weren’t there among the audience. if leo being in the audience prior to judgment threw him off as much as it did, tsukasa can’t imagine what he’d do if his parents were out there watching his every move.

nevertheless, he brushes that aside once the message is sent off.

in its place, thoughts fill his head of how successful that had been, of how his family and eichi would surely be proud of him. of how he’d even managed to make a friend along the way. it’d definitely been a bit of chaos in bringing everything together tsukasa thinks.

a hand slaps against his back. it makes him jolt.

“suo!”

“ leader , must you greet me like that?” tsukasa says.

leo hums as if in thought. “you were good out there,” he replies.

it’s such a jump in topic that tsukasa doesn’t know what to say at first. “thank you. it would’ve been unsightly if my performance wasn’t up to par. you all did, ultimately, leave the stage to harukawa-kun and i.”

“about that,” leo starts. “since when’ve you and sora been friends?”

that… certainly is a good question. 

tsukasa is used to the rigidity of his teachings before yumenosaki, used to what he’s told, of learning being the priority at school rather than making friends, but it seems like he’s not the best at following that apparent rule. he’d been doing his best to stick to his studies without distractions, which is difficult as is when it comes to the nature of the academy, so he truly does wonder at what point they became friends.

he’s never been well versed when it came to other people, much less friends.

“recently,” he settles on. “i told him of my troubles and he was more than willing to help.”

leo studies him for a moment. the silence is oddly uncomfortable. “i’m glad you have a friend you can rely on, but your onii-chans are always there for you too, y’know?”

ignoring the rush of fondness that hits him — he’d found people to watch his back, hadn’t he? — at that comment, tsukasa says, “must you continue to bring that up? i already apologized for not telling you sooner, did i not?”

leo laughs. “you did, you did. i just wanted to remind you.”

there’s a pause between them once more, though this one is nowhere near as heavy as the first.

“ leader ,” tsukasa trails off. he isn’t unsure of how well the live had gone; he knows it was as close to perfect as it could’ve been. all those in attendance seemed more than pleased at what their entertainment had been. the planning had gone smoothly once it was more than just himself involved. but there’s still something in the back of his mind, yet he doesn’t know how to articulate it into words.

leo must sense that somehow as he says, “suo, you did well at leading us this time. y’know, soon enough, you might be leading us for good.”

it’s hardly the first time tsukasa’s heard something about him becoming king; ritsu had said something similar earlier that day. the thought of it is ridiculous, though. tsukasa is still a newbie when compared to arashi and ritsu. sure, he’s grown since he first joined, honed his skills, and even proved himself on stage just now, but the thought of him inheriting the throne sounds more like a joke than an eventual reality.

“you all sure do like to say that,” tsukasa replies, tone slightly exasperated. he wonders, not for the first time, if he’s missing something.

------------------

tsukasa finds a phone being pressed into his hands before leo is even sitting across from him.

he’s not too put off by this series of events as leo’d called him and told him about the song before he’d even come back from florence. leo said he wanted tsukasa to be prepared, though the several calls to tell him so seem a bit much. even so, tsukasa had welcomed the correspondence; it’s been too long since they’ve all been able to meet together.

“good afternoon, leo-san,” tsukasa greets seeing as leo hasn’t.

“hi, suo,” leo returns energetically, practically vibrating in his seat.

“you never told me what this song was written for.” there aren’t any lives with the five of them as far as tsukasa knows and he hasn’t asked leo for anything new.

leo hums, shifting where he sits. “consider it a congrats for being the new king.”

tsukasa’s eyes flick down to leo’s phone loosely wrapped in a pair of earbuds, then back up to leo. “it’s been months since coronation , leo-san,” he points out. “wasn’t that more of a celebration already of my becoming leader?” not to mention, leo’d written songs specifically for the occasion then too.

leo shrugs. “yeah, i guess, but this song didn’t come to me ‘till now, so… just listen to it already.”

knowing there’s no point in getting into a debate about it — it was written for him, after all — so tsukasa isn’t going to put up a fuss. it’s not as if leo goes around handing out songs to people for no good reason anymore, so tsukasa beings to unravel the earbuds.

“gimme one,” leo says, hand open.

as asked, tsukasa places one in leo’s hand and the other in his own ear. once they’re both situated, tsukasa finds that the song is already pulled up when he turns the phone screen on. 

“play it already, suo,” leo tells him with an eager little nod. tsukasa can feel the pull of it on the shared earbuds.

“calm down, leo-san,” tsukasa chastises only for leo to pout at him.

the song opens rather playfully, something that shows itself as positively being one of leo’s compositions. tsukasa knows he won’t be able to take in everything on just a single play through, so he does his best to listen as well as he can.

as the song continues, he can picture where the lyrics would reside, fitting easily into the melody leo’s created. tsukasa notices that this is a song that suits the five of them far better than only himself. that makes sense, he thinks, if it’s a gift to the new king.

it’s clear in some of their older songs that leo was at the middle of it all, so to present a song with the idea of tsukasa taking up the reigns seems more than fair. the thought fills tsukasa with a bit of excitement. he’s already proven himself to his seniors, so the chance to do the same for their fans would be just as fulfilling.

the song concludes quicker than tsukasa is expecting, but he chalks it up to his thoughts distracting him. it’s over four minutes, so it couldn’t be all that short.

“it’s for all of us?” he questions after a beat or two of silence from the earbud.

“mmhm! it’ll be a proper change from me being king to you since we don’t have anything like that yet.” leo pulls his phone from tsukasa’s hand to scrub through the song. the phone begins playing a random section where he stops and he begins humming along to it.

tsukasa simply nods to himself, hands left awkwardly empty until he curls them in. “that sounds adequate ,” he says once leo skips to another part. “though i think our fans are already used to the switch, don’t you think?”

leo’s face scrunches slightly as if in thought. “maybe, but too bad. take it anyway.”

“i wasn’t turning it down in the first place.”

leo ignores him. “i dunno what it’s like for you guys in school still, but sena should be free soon. or i think he will be at least.” he pauses briefly, fingers tapping out a rhythm on the table between them. “we can call everyone in and record it soon, how ‘bout that?”

he seems more excited about this than tsukasa himself is.

still, the five of them haven’t been able to meet up as of late, relegating their discussion to facetime calls as they get stuck between deadlines and needing to figure out the logistics of the many, many new members in the in school unit. all of that combined has made it difficult to form any kind of get together, even through screens, that isn’t horribly brief.

“that sounds rather nice,” he replies. there should be a reprieve coming up soon, a few break days worked into their schedule. it’s been a while since they’ve had the chance to record anything new, but with how much leo is looking forward to this — his enthusiasm infectious as always — tsukasa thinks it’ll go smoothly.

of course, that doesn’t account for actually learning the song and all of the things that come with a new composition, one that he doesn’t even think has lyrics as of yet. tsukasa looks forward to the opportunity nonetheless.

he holds his hand towards leo who gives him the phone back. the screen lights up once more, showing the song playing from where leo had last left it. “it has no title ?” tsukasa asks, the file name being a simple song for suo .

“i figured it’s your song, so you can pick.”

though a small task, the chance to choose a title on his own is a little daunting. tsukasa supposes part of the lyric writing will also fall on him, another task that weighs on him, though, if the others are also getting involved in this, it should be quick work.

tsukasa nods. “thank you, leo-san. i’ll do my best.”

leo smiles, bright and a little proud. “i know you will, suo,” he says, reaching across the table to ruffle tsukasa’s hair.

------------------

end notes: cavalleresco means chivalrous. i feel like it's an easy out to pick for him (especially when i was having trouble with both this chapter overall and finding a title), but i think it suits him just fine. after all, no one quite exemplifies the qualities of a knight, chivalry included, like tsukasa. that and with this chapter focusing on both before and after he became king, i thought that it was fitting even if it's not as reasoning heavy as the others

who wants to guess what song leo gave him klsgh also. shout out to everyone who saw me struggle w this chapter for like a cumulative week on priv, you guys are the real ones <33 i can't believe i'm almost done posting this already 😔 see u all tomorrow for leo's chapter

[chaosresolve]

✿ ♬ ☾

✿ : My muse and nature. (If they are an ‘outdoorsy type’, like the sound of bird’s singing, if they have never set foot in a forest, e.t.c.)

     Shadow loves nature. He feels he owes it to Maria to experience it & respect it -- and in his free time, when his phone becomes mysteriously unreachable, he's often chaos controlled himself & Rosemary to the middle of nowhere to see a sight that she told him about. Either from a geography book, somewhere she pointed at from the sky above, or just somewhere he thinks she would've liked. You could argue the enjoyment of it isn't for his own sake, sure, but it brings him a sense of closure and peace, and that's enough for him.

♬ : My muse and music. (What type of music they like listening to and in what context, what music they would never listen to, e.t.c.)

     Music isn't something he's terribly picky with, but that's mainly because he's unfamiliar with modern music as a whole (Taylor Swift aside. Thanks Amy!). Songs that are deeply familiar to him are rock & roll hits from the 50s, but he often struggles to listen to them. They make his heart ache for... Something. A memory slightly out of reach.

☾ : My muse and sleep. (How much they sleep, how much they wish to sleep, if there is something that never fails to put them to sleep, e.t.c.)

     Shadow is a terrible sleeper. Tossing & turning and easily disturbed with frequent nightmares to boot -- it's a blessing that he only needs a few hours on average. He will deny it until he's blue in the face, but having someone to sleep next to -- be it a person or his chao -- makes it so much easier for him, too.

     He tries to aim for at least 3-4 hours per night, though if he has to go longer without any, his maximum before he starts to struggle is around 3 days. After then he starts to lose the thread juuuust a little. The longer he stays awake, the more he has to sleep afterwards -- Rouge once saw him pass out for 18 hours straight after a mission. Zzzzzzz.

[mentalpolaroids]

Sounds of sleep

[gif creds @steverobin]

Steve Harrington x female!Henderson!Reader

Summary: Reader and Steve spend a Friday night “babysitting” and they all end up falling asleep in the living room, only, nobody can get any sleep because Steve is snoring incredibly loud... Except for reader, who's completely used to it 

Warnings: swearing, implied smut (but not really) 

“For fucks sake Dustin, you’re supposed to share the chips!”

“Can you not curse in front of my brother?” 

“You’re aware your brother curses more than I do, right?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes even knowing Steve was right. 

“Just don’t tell my mom that, she thinks he’s a saint.”

“Copy that.” 

It was Friday night, and after a lot of begging from Dustin, who insisted on having the party’s casual sleepover at his house that week, (y/n) was a spilled soda away from regretting not saying no to their mom. Ms. Henderson went to spend the night at a friend’s house and although she was okay with having her son’s friends over, she was paranoid about them being left alone, and the poor sweet woman didn’t have the heart to say no to Dustin’s innocent toothless smile so the only way to put her mind at ease was to ask her oldest child to stay home and take care of them. It wasn’t worth it trying to fight the woman on that, (y/n) was mad about having to cancel her plans with Robin and Nancy, a girls night they had been planning for so long because the three girls were always busy and their schedules very rarely conjugated with each other, but she had the next best thing to make her night less sufferable: Steve Harrington, her best friend and now apparently also Dustin’s best friend, a fact she was still trying to accept. 

Not that (y/n) despised how her little brother could so easily steal Steve’s attention from her, she honestly thought it was adorable to see the lady’s man show his soft spot for the kids, she was just still getting used to the fact she no longer could have him all to herself when he was over. But what enraged her the most, in a nice but painful way,  was how all of that just added to (y/n)’s growing romantic feelings for Steve. 

So, aside the chaos Dustin, Mike, Lucas and Will installed in the house while Max and El looked at them probably wondering how and why they were friends with them, (y/n) was happy to have Steve there with her and for getting to spend time with him, dismissing the fact she would end up sharing him after all. 

“Alright, guys, the snacks have to last all night, okay?” (y/n) tried her best to put authority in her voice but the only people who seemed to listen to her were Will, El and Max, “Dustin, you heard me?” 

“Yeah, I did, but you could’ve bought more chips, you know?” 

“Yeah, well, eight bags was the best I could do.”

“Steve bought ten last time.” Lucas pointed out, earning a non threatening death glare from (y/n). 

“(y/n)’s in charge this time so if you shitheads could please do as she says that would be great.” Steve intervened, even though he knew the boys appreciated the effort the older Henderson was putting into their movie night, he knew there was so much his best friend could take from their jokes and teasing before she snapped. He felt bad already for her for canceling her girls night, so he would do his best to make sure she had the best time possible. 

(y/n) thanked Steve, a ping of annoyance in her tone, and turned around to go get another bag of chips and prepare the popcorn bowls. The boy followed her to the kitchen to help her. 

“You okay?” he asked, studying her unreadable features.

Without looking at Steve, (y/n) answered, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I don’t know, maybe because you had to play babysitter on your only day off this week when you already had plans?” 

“You make it sound like it’s torture to look after my little brother.” she chuckled.

“I’m not saying that,” he squeezed her shoulders in comfort and he had to hold back a curse when he felt the built up tension in her muscles, “you were so excited to finally have some free time to be with your friends and fuck, you deserve to have fun and rest once in a while too, you know?” 

“And I get to rest tonight, we’re watching a movie.” 

“Okay, fine, whatever.” defeated, Steve���s hands kept moving over (y/n)’s shoulders and when he heard her groan, he moved his movements to the back of her neck, “I’m just saying, you don’t have to pretend you’re not tired as hell. I’m here, I can look after the kids for you, I do that pretty much everyday already, it’s no big deal.” he kissed the top of her head, “You can go rest.” 

(y/n) sighed. She knew he was right. She had been anticipating that night for so long and now she couldn’t have it. But what Steve didn’t know, and (y/n) wasn’t exactly planning on telling him that, was that his company, just him being there and, oh God, him touching her like that was almost as good, if not better, than her canceled plans. 

“You just want the popcorn all to yourself, admit it.” she joked, turning around and pinching his belly. Steve smiled and pinched her back.

“Yup, you got me.”

“Come on,” (y/n) grabbed the bag of chips with one hand and two cans of Coke with the other and waited for Steve to get the bowls of popcorn, “let’s crash their party.”

..

“Okay so,” Max started, removing the pillow from her head that she was using to cover her ears, “any volunteer to suffocate Steve with this pillow or can I go?” 

“He’s annoying even when he’s sleeping.” Mike added, rubbing his sleepy eyes. 

“How is (y/n) sleeping so peacefully?” Lucas pointed at the girl serving as a pillow to the owner of the loud snoring that, to everyone’s surprise, didn’t seem to be bothering (y/n) one bit. 

They had gotten their sleeping bags, pillows and a ridiculous amount of blankets (y/n) insisted were not necessary ready before starting the movies, agreeing that someone would probably end up falling asleep earlier and it was easier if they all just crashed together in the living room. (y/n) and Steve weren’t planning on going all the way to the end of the movie marathon so they took the couch, but apparently it ended up being way too comfortable, especially with how tired (y/n) was, because the pair were the first ones to get knocked out. And if there was any doubt if they were actually sleeping or not, Steve’s loud snores gave away the answer. 

“They sleep together all the time, she’s probably used to it.” Dustin explained with his eyes closed, almost as if he was forcing himself to fall asleep. Silence followed after what he said which led him to open one eye to see why everybody went quiet.

“I don’t remember Steve mentioning he and (y/n) were dating.” Max spoke, “I mean, I always expected to go deaf from hearing him talk about his girlfriend whenever he finally got one.”

“He already talks about her all the time though.” Will added and the others nodded in agreement. 

“Oh they’re not dating.” Dustin clarified, but he was well aware both his sister and his friend were dying to get together. Their pining over each other was noticeable to everyone, even the kids, except for the both of them, “Steve just sleeps over all the time and he sleeps in (y/n)’s room.” 

“And your mom lets him?” Mike asked, impressed that Ms. Henderson would allow a boy to stay over, and in the same room as her daughter, when he had witnessed his mom flip so many times when she suspected a male presence in Nancy’s room. And he couldn’t forget all the threats he received from Hopper everytime he went to see El. 

“(y/n) can be very persuasive, and my mom,” he kissed his fingers and pointed them to the roof, “bless her innocent soul, falls for it every time. And come on, we all know the effect this bastard”, he pointed at Steve, “somehow has on women and I guess my mom is no exception. Like I said, bless her innocent soul.” 

“I think they’re cute.” El commented, smiling in admiration as she looked at the way Steve had his head on (y/n)’s shoulder and cradled her arm like a plushie, and her head rested on top of his and her hand was resting on his tight. 

“It would be even cuter if Steve wasn’t shaking the roof with those pig noises.” Max complained and layed back down, this time using two pillows to cover her ears. 

“Just wake him up.” Lucas told Dustin, who immediately refused. 

“No way I’m risking my life waking him up.”

“Then wake up your sister and she’ll do it.” Mike suggested before letting out a long yawn. 

Dustin sighed and crawled to his sister. He shook her knee in an urgent way, as if desperate to end the torture that was Steve’s sleeping sounds. (y/n) stirred a bit and snuggled more against her best friend while letting out a lazy What?.

“Steve’s snoring.” 

“I know.” she replied, not bothering to open her eyes. 

“Wake him up!”

“Why?” 

“Because we want to sleep and we can’t!”

(y/n) groaned in annoyance and finally opened her eyes in a roll at her brother. 

She carefully lifted Steve’s head from her shoulder and pinched his cheek.

“Hey, idiot.” she called, “Wake up.” 

The boy groaned and, like (y/n) did earlier, the only movement he did was snuggle more into her. 

“Come on, let’s go to my room.” she patted his tight the best she could considering Steve was still holding onto her arm. 

He replied something along the lines of Fine, at least it was what (y/n) could make out from his muffled voice against her shoulder.  

The two got up, one a bit less tired than the other, and made their way to (y/n)’s room. 

“Goodnight children.” she said with her back turned to them, a tired Steve following her as he waved to the kids, more asleep than awake. 

As (y/n) closed the door to her room, she almost jumped at the sound of Steve plopping down on her bed, who groaned with the impact. 

“Hey, don’t be taking up the whole bed.” she complained with a smile on her face. 

“As if you wouldn’t totally sleep on top of me.” 

(y/n) wasn’t sure in what way he meant that, but she wouldn’t deny either option. Not out loud, of course, if there was something she refused to do around her best friend was build up his ego even more. And, of course, let him know that he did have an effect on her. The Steve Harrington effect. But what was so special about her situation was that she knew she got to see a side of him no other girl in Hawkins had, and there was a very specific type of charm Steve had reserved just for (y/n), because no other girl in that cursed town had the same effect on him that she had. They shared a mutual fixation for each other, and whether they acknowledged it or not, it was undeniable. 

“I think it’s the other way around, Harrington.”

“I won’t deny that.” Steve turned on his back and finally made some space over the sheets for (y/n) to lay down. But not that much, because he was serious about wanting her on top of him, and he made it known by opening and stretching his arms so she could crawl between them. 

(y/n) did so with no hesitation or remark, it wasn’t known if it was her sleepy brain or her tingling heart that made her lay down on his chest with such ease, like it was routine. Which it was. The sensation of Steve’s arms holding her tight, their chests pressed against one another with their breathing in sync, their legs getting more tangled the more time passed, the more they couldn’t get enough of the proximity that always felt too much even when not even a breeze could pass between their bodies. 

“Thank you for coming tonight.” (y/n) spoke after a few long minutes in silence. 

“You don’t ever have to thank me for coming to the rescue.” Steve readjusted himself a bit so he could turn on his side and face her, “And you sure don’t have to thank me for coming to hang out with you, that’s like, the best part of my days.” he smiled. 

“You’re so corny when you’re sleepy.” 

“Actually I’m corny all the time,” he kissed her forehead, “and it’s all your fault just so you know.”  

“Oh really now?” (y/n) chuckled, hiding her face in the confined space between his neck and shoulder. 

“Yeah, really.” Steve smiled widely at the way her breath tickled his skin and he couldn’t help but squeeze her body impossibly closer to his and he felt this urge to kiss her all over. So he started with moving his head down to kiss her on the cheek, then her jaw, neck, until he reached the collar of her sweater and moved back up to her temple, allowing his lips to linger there. For a second he second guessed if that was okay, if maybe he was crossing a line, but then (y/n)’s hand crawled up from between their bodies and held his jaw, her thumb caressing his cheekbone. Steve pressed his face closer to her touch, which led to his other cheek to press against hers and he felt a fiery chill in his chest when he realized how close their mouths were. 

They stayed like that for a minute, both waiting to see who would make the move first. (y/n) did, the only thing going through her mind being fuck it, I need him. But before she closed the only inch separating their lips, she met his gaze, confident but nervous enough to not want to ruin anything, so she asked the silent question and a tug at her waist and the way Steve’s dilated pupils stared back at her was the answer she needed.

The kiss started slowly, a testing of the waters, a reality check. Then Steve gently pushed (y/n) on her back and his hands started to explore her hips and waist under her sweater at the same time his tongue passed through their lips. At a bite of his bottom lip, (y/n) caressed his back as she lifted Steve’s shirt and a groan left his lips. Taking a much needed break from the kiss to remove the piece of clothing, the boy looked down at his best friend and did the same to her sweater. 

“Is this… okay? Like, should we be doing this?” he asked, his uncertain question not being a match to his actions. His lips attached to her collarbone and his hands crawling under her to reach her back making it hard for (y/n) to concentrate on what he was saying. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, I want to. Fuck, I want to, just…” Steve looked at her. 

“We can talk about it later.” (y/n) suggested, not too worried about the aftermath of what was about to happen. It was something both knew was going to happen sooner or later.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

“Just…” she pushed him a bit, indicating for him to lay down, “stay quiet, you don’t wanna wake up the kids again.”

(y/n) positioned herself on top of him, leaning down to go back to kissing him while her fingers followed the trail of hair from his chest to his stomach. 

“I’ll do my best.”

................................................................................

author’s note: So, this is my debut writing for Stranger Thing, so please go easy on me. I hope I did Steve Harrington justice, I haven’t written in a long time, this is my comeback (and with a new fandom) so this isn’t my best work but I had so much fun writing this and I hope you had fun reading it! Any feedback and (nice) constructive criticism is welcome 🥰

[unfoundhoney]

a sister’s sacrifice ; part three ↠

↠ platonic!c!sleepy bois inc x fem!reader , platonic!c!tubbo x fem!reader ; angst just angst

↠ masterlist

↠ part one ; part two ; part three ;

↠ @leafyturtle @basheverythingyesterday @terribletoothbat @bestioe @junoblad3 @machiebach @ok-honey

when considering the deaths of the people on the dream smp server, yours is the hardest

schlatt was detested by all when he’d died

few people still truly cared for wilbur when he met his end; the man he once was was long gone by then

but you

you never changed

you were a constant for so many & immovably kind to the rest

selfless, giving, caring

even when you just wanted an escape, you came to the aid of your brothers

you gave the ultimate sacrifice & paid the price

everyone mourns you

when the battle is won & dream locked away indefinitely

once everyone has come down from the high of freeing themselves from dream’s reign, the server goes into a state of grieving

there’s no denying your death

they all saw the message in chat

you’re dead

those that were close to you took it hard

niki was narrowly stopped from burning down the bakery you encouraged her to open and helped build

eret put her emotions into work on a memorial in their museum for you

even under the egg’s control, bad & ant put the eggpire aside for you

of course, those who took it the hardest is your family

when ghostbur learns of your death, he’s distraught

he doesn’t quite know how to handle the information

he protects your home & only allows people to enter when he supervises them

tommy took a while to move past his anger & deal with the fact that you’re gone

tubbo ran off to start snowchester

he chose to distract himself rather than truly process his emotions, even if you’d always done your best to break that habit of his

now that you’re not around, who’s to stop him from letting himself be numb to it all?

techno is another one of your family members who chose to barely acknowledge your passing

he became somehow more monotonous & emotionless

and phil

...

there’s no word for a parent who loses a child

wilbur was gone & of course it messed phil up to be the one to take will’s last life but by that point his son was gone

but you

you’d always been such a genuinely good person

phil did so little for you as a father

he was so absent

he never apologized to you for that

he never told you how much he loves & appreciates you & everything you’ve done to keep their family together when he couldn’t be bothered

it’s a few hours after he received the news from ranboo that all the guilt for everything he had ever put you through hit him

he broke down in his kitchen while trying to distract himself by organizing his cupboards

but all he could think about was you

you & your never ending kindness & compassion

he was never a father to you

yet you never hated him

why couldn’t you have hated him?

it would hurt less to lose you if you hated him; it’s what he deserves

he’s unworthy of your love

but he can only dwell so long on you

you are given a proper funeral

you’re buried by the seashore, somewhere between l’manberg and tommy’s abandoned vacation homes in an open field

the sever members plant so many flowers, your gravesite becomes a flower field

but soon, life goes on

it will only hurt for longer to draw out the mourning period

it would do no good for anyone

besides, you wouldn’t want the server to be sad for your sake

techno supposes it’s for the best that you died

he does his best to move on, filling his days with resource gathering and upgrading his tools, weapons, and armor while trying to think through his emotions logically

as much as he liked you

as much as everyone liked you, you were too good

you were the best of them

fate is not kind to heroes

“hello!”

technoblade is not an easy man to sneak up on, let alone scare

the greeting itself isn’t want startles him

it’s turning toward the voice to lock eyes with you

you who is dead

techno is not proud of the sound he made when he saw you but you of all people wouldn’t make fun of him for it

he just stares at you, slowly realizing what’s happened

you look desaturated, the color drained from your clothes

your skin is grey & almost translucent

you’re a ghost

“y/n.”

“hello! who are you?”

techno tells no on one of your ghost form

he even keeps the rest of the server a secret from you

he leads you to your old home & leaves you there w/ ghostbur

he hopes your and ghostbur’s combined amnesia will keep you out of harm’s way i.e. the rest of the server

he visits you occasionally but mostly leaves you be

you live happily with ghostbur for a while

he is very glad to have you back

his memory is nearly as bad as yours, so the story of the server & what happened to you when you were alive is only given to you in bits & pieces that are near impossible to fit together

it was only a matter of time before someone came to visit your house

“...y/n?”

it’s tubbo who finds you first

or he finds your ghost

(tubbo) y/n! oh my god! you’re a ghost! you’ve come back!

(you) hello! *whispers* ghostbur, who is this?

(ghostbur, whispering obviously) that’s tubbo, one of your other brothers i’ve told you about

(you, whispering) oh, right

(tubbo) how long have you- oh, this is incredible! i have to tell tommy! he’s been so sad since you died; he’ll be so glad to see you!

tubbo messages tommy, who is skeptical but reluctantly comes to your house anyway

but there you are

your ghost anyway

which is good enough, honestly

(tommy) y/n!

you catch him in a hug easily, even if you’ve never met him before

(tommy) you’re alive!

(you) no i’m not. i’m a ghost!

techno happens to check in on you when tubbo & tommy are there

bad news for technoblade: you’d told them about techno leading you here

meaning: tommy knows techno hid you from him & everyone else

needless to say, he is not too happy about that

(tommy) you hid her! you kept her away from us!

(techno) tommy, you have to understand-

(tommy) i don’t have to understand shit! you hid her from us! you lied to us!

(techno) tommy-

(tommy) you kept her from everyone! you’re selfish and you’re a liar and you’re horrible and-

(techno) i did it to protect her! she’s been hurt enough protecting others; it’s our turn to protect her. the only way we can do that is by leaving her alone

(tommy) she’s my sister

(techno) your sister is dead, tommy. for once in her life, let her have peace

tommy gives up on techno & goes to you instead

(tommy) y/n! y/n, we can bring you back. we can revive you. well, dream can revive you but he’s in prison so he has to do what we say so we can bring you back. we can be a family again. don’t you want to come back?

(you) ...no

that

...

that isn’t what tommy was expecting

(tommy) what?

(you) if alive y/n comes back, i won’t exist anymore. and i’ve only just got here. i don’t want to go yet

(tommy) don’t you understand how much y/n means to me? y/n has to come back. she has to. she’s so important. not just to me but to, um... tubbo as well! right, tubbo? don’t you want y/n back?

tommy looks to tubbo for some backup but the shorter boy looks away

(tubbo) i think we need to let y/n go, tommy

the betrayal that fills tommy’s chest is soon gone as he locks eyes with techno

tommy knows techno is right

you’re too much of a good person

you’re too willing to sacrifice yourself for others

even as a ghost your kindness is blinding

this server will only drain you of everything you have yet again

he will drain you of everything you are

he’s just tried to convince you to cease to exist to bring back the former version of yourself

(you) i’m sorry. it’s just- i’ve heard there are these really pretty blue flowers in the swamp biome that i haven’t got to see yet-

(tommy) no. it’s fine. i’m sorry. i-... i should go.

tommy leaves your house & tubbo goes with him

even if tubbo caught on a bit sooner to techno’s reasoning, he’s still concerned at his friend’s sudden change in character

(tubbo) tommy... are you alright?

(tommy) ...i really want her back

(tubbo) i do, too. but she’s gone

(tommy) she doesn’t have to be

tubbo can’t argue with that

(tommy) but... maybe it’s for the best

(tubbo) really?

(tommy) yeah.

(tubbo) but just earlier you were telling me about your plan to get the revive book from dream

(tommy) techno’s right, tubbo. all everyone- myself included- has ever done to y/n is take. and she’s given everything

(tubbo) because she loved us

(tommy) as much as she loved us and as much as we loved her... the only thing we’ve ever brought her is pain. i think now... now is her time to rest.

(tubbo) ...that’s very pog champ of you, big man

tommy had planned to visit dream as many times as it took to get the revive book location off of him so he could revive you, but now he’s accepted that he needs to move on

he needs to move on from you & dream & everything dream has put him through

he decides to pay one last visit to dream, put him behind him, & never look back

he’s ready to start a new chapter in his life, one without dream

and the first one without you

but then he’s locked in the prison

two weeks pass

nearing three weeks & tommy still isn’t allowed out of dream’s cell

he’s irritated and annoyed and most of all he’s scared

but he can’t let dream know he’s still afraid of him, that’s why he pisses dream off enough to the point of being beat to death

tommy begs him to stop

but then he’s gone

everything is dark

black

empty

nothing

is this what death is?

conscious in absolute nothingness?

tommy’s feet feel the ground beneath him

his senses come back to him

it’s still dark but he feels as though he can see again

where is he?

heaven?

no, probably hell

or maybe neither?

both...?

what the hell happened?

the first thing to break the silence is the voice tommy has known since he was an infant

the voice of the person who raised him

the voice of the person who has always been there for him

the voice of the person who he has finally let go of

your voice

saying one simple word

“tommy?”

[wizardofrozz]

Ignite the Stars (2)

Darth Vader x Sith!Reader, OCs

Word Count: ~3.8k

Warnings: light swearing, mention of violence, angst

<< Part 1 | Part 3 >> | Masterlist

The Executor was bland. All harsh metal edges, boring grays and whites, and dull blinking lights. You had hoped a Super Star Destroyer would be more impressive aside from its sheer size but so far, it bored you. Even the stupid chairs sucked. You shifted again, recrossing your ankles where they were propped up on the table in the meeting room, your boots leaving another scuff mark on the dark surface. Vader was lingering across the room, his arms crossed over his wide chest that you definitely weren’t taking notice of. 

         “Why are you here?” cut through the quiet room.

         “I thought it’d be fun,” you sassed without looking up from the datapad in your hands. Vader, unsurprisingly, said nothing, his gaze burning holes in your face and for some reason, you felt a little guilty. He was seemingly trying to make conversation so maybe this whole trip wouldn’t be miserable. You blew out a long breath and lifted your eyes over the top of the datapad. “The Emperor requested I come to Coruscant. I learned a long time ago that it hurts less if I do what I’m told.”

His head tilted in question and you had to chew on the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling at the almost cute gesture. For all the horror stories you’d heard about the menacing and ruthless monster that was Darth Vader, he seemed oddly subdued each time you’d encountered him. He continued to stare at you, his loud breathing setting a relaxing rhythm that you were coming to enjoy. 

         “I don’t think I need to explain what I mean,” you huffed, dropping your eyes to the report again.

         “No, you don’t.” Suddenly the conversation felt too raw, too deep and you needed it to end. Thankfully, Vader left it that and repositioned his arms, the weight of his eyes on you disappearing. His looming presence was like an itch you couldn’t scratch, wearing your patience thin until you couldn’t ignore him any longer.

         “For kriff’s sake, will you sit down. You’re making me uncomfortable,” you snapped, narrowing your eyes at the wall of metal and flesh. You felt the instant his eyes snapped back to your face, raising a challenging brow when he didn’t move. A deep rumbling sound arose from his chest that struck you as almost animalistic in nature but he complied, dropping aggressively into the chair opposite you. 

         “Must you put your feet on the table?” Vader grumbled, crossing his arms again.

         “Does it bother you?” you asked, tilting your head and blinking coyly.

         “Yes.”

         “Then, yes,” you snorted. Vader could’ve easily removed them physically or through the Force but he just stared at you, letting his frustration fester like an open wound. “So, what’s the plan, big guy?” Vader leaned back in his chair and if he could, you were sure he’d have let out a loud sigh. 

The halls of the Super Star Destroyer were filled with troopers and officers chattering quietly, only sparing you a few anxious glances. You could only bare Vader’s silent and imposing company for so long before you felt the need to do something, even if it was wandering the massive ship. One corridor led to another and eventually, you found yourself facing the room that could only be the trooper mess hall. This was probably the first time you’d seen so many Stormtroopers in one place that weren’t just stoic statues. You could feel eyes on you from every direction as you wandered through the trooper-cluttered room but no one made a move to stop you.

         “Need somethin’?” the young man behind the empty meal line asked. He seemed indifferent to your company, merely raising a brow when you continued to squint at him. 

         “Caf if you have it,” you replied hesitantly, stepping out of the way of a trooper too engrossed in a conversation to notice you. The worker gave you a stiff nod, fumbling with something out of your line of sight.

         “Haven’t seen you here before,” he noted, glancing up at you. 

         “I’m aiding V- Lord Vader on an assignment,” you huffed, crossing your arms.

         “Mm, sounds important,” he hummed without sparing you another glance. The man’s complete disinterest in your presence shouldn’t have bothered you so much but, at the same time, it was kinda…nice. So many times your presence was met with fear or anger and to be seen as nothing more than a person, an equal to the men and women surrounding you was a welcome change of pace.

         “What’s your name?” you found yourself wondering, your features softening slightly. 

         “You care?” he scoffed, shifting his eyes to you again. Were you really the first person to ask his name? You kept your features neutral but not without sparing a moment for a subtle eye roll before addressing him again. 

         “Yes.” He paused, lifting his head to meet your gaze as if it was so hard to believe that you wanted to know his name.

         “Dax,” he mumbled, reaching for a lid before handing you a cup. “I guess I’ll be seein’ you around more often.”

         “I supposed so,” you sighed, cradling the warm cup against your chest. “Thank you, Dax.” He offered you a silent nod but you caught the hint of a smile before you went back to dodging preoccupied troopers. 

You spent another few hours exploring your temporary home, making small talk with a few stray Commanders and even a Major General. It seems like every person on the ship was miserable and it made you wonder how the hell anyone got a damn thing done. Your roaming eventually led you to the corridor you’d be housed in for the foreseeable future but you hesitated at the end. The unmistakable figure stood outside your room, staring at the floor, completely ignoring the world around him and you took the opportunity to just observe him for a moment.

Stories floated through rundown cantinas about the Emperor’s fist. You’d find yourself laughing under your breath as you listened to the whispers about what was really under his suit and where he came from. You really only knew who was under the suit but all you had were the tall tales about what happened to him. The fact that he was human eliminated a lot of the stories you’d heard in passing and as you spent more time around him you picked up on things. For example, why didn’t he shift his weight if he was standing for extended periods of time?

You set a slow pace, taking your time closing the space between you and him and it wasn’t until halfway to your door that he moved. With his gaze still glued to the floor, Vader tilted his head slightly and you felt the shift in the Force a beat before his head snapped towards you, his posture straightening again. 

         “Is this gonna become a normal thing?” you asked with a smirk, leaning against the wall opposite him. Vader just looked at you, his head falling to the side again, and damnit, it wasn’t cute. “You know, menacingly looming outside my room so I wonder if you’re gonna break in and kill me.” Vader’s modulator made a faint crackling noise like there was feedback and your brows pinched together.

         “We are required for a meeting with the Grand Admiral,” was Vader’s response. He stepped away from the wall, hesitating long enough for you to fall into step with him. “And I do not loom.” 

         “Please, that’s all you do,” you snickered, glancing up at him. You nearly stumbled at the small yet sharp flicker of amusement that colored Vader’s Force signature and it was gone so fast you thought you imagined it. He stayed quiet for the remainder of the walk but it wasn’t awkward for once. 

The clicking of keys and his stable breathing hardly cloaked the rumble of the Executor’s engines, the endless tunnel of hyperspace swirling in the lenses of his helmet. They were closing in on their destination, a newly inducted planet on the edge of the Mid Rim that was struggling with a rebellion uprising. Vader glanced down at where you stood at his side, noting the glazed look in your eyes as you split your consciousness between the physical world and the Force. He thought about joining you but found that he was content to just observe you for now. 

You had changed into a black officer’s uniform at Vader’s request but not without frequently reminding him how much you hated it. He gave you another once over and despite your distaste for the uniform, it suited you, flattering your physic which was a thought he would be keeping to himself. The chatter on the bridge started to pick up as they neared the jump point and Vader turned his attention to the twisting space in front of him just as he felt you pull away from the Force. He rested his hands on the front of his belt, waiting for the jolt that came from dropping out of hyperspace.

         “How much talking will I have to do?” you asked, pulling Vader out of his mindless staring. 

         “I would prefer you kept it to a minimum,” Vader replied without looking at you. He waited for you to bristle and argue with him but instead, you let out a relieved sigh that drew his attention. 

         “Thank the Maker, I hate political jargon,” you mumbled, shifting your weight and crossing your arms. 

         “That is a feeling we share,” he confessed, watching the corner of your mouth twitch with a faint smile. 

         “No, you’re telling me you don’t like negotiating with nobility? I’d have never guessed,” you teased, your expression softening with your smile. Vader shouldn’t be so charmed by it but he found himself enjoying the sight of genuine pleasure on your face. It made you look less worn, dulling the shadow of years of suffering that was etched into your face. 

Vader gripped his belt tighter and clenched his jaw under his helmet. Enough of this foolish fascination. I am a Sith Lord, not a pathetic child. 

         “You will stay at my side at all times. You may be accompanying me on this operation but I am taking command.” You lifted your gaze to meet his, your eyes narrowing in defiance but after a long few seconds, you caved with a tight nod. Vader should’ve enjoyed the power he held over you, savoring the thought of you bending to his will but it pleased him for an entirely different reason.

This was you placing your trust in him. Something, if he was being honest, he hadn’t entirely earned. If Vader was in your position, he wasn’t sure he’d have done the same but for reasons that eluded him, you saw something worth trusting. 

Another part of you that he found strange. 

Giving someone your trust should’ve made you appear weak but Vader had a sinking feeling that if he wasn’t careful, you’d come out with the upper hand. Then it hit him like a runaway speeder. No, this wasn’t a sign of weakness, it was a powerplay. Would he be dense enough to fall for the trap you set? Vader was not one to participate in a back-and-forth game like this but oddly enough, the idea intrigued him.

No one ever saw his face so he paid no mind to any expressions be made but to his surprise, he took notice of the way one side of his mouth lifted in the faintest of smiles. Though you’d never know it, you’d accomplished a feat no other being had come close to in many years. 

         “I have yet to learn your name,” he found himself saying, pointing his mask toward the viewport again. 

         “You didn’t ask and it’s not something I give away freely,” you retorted with a shrug. Vader’s irritation started to grow again as you continued to beat around the bush; you were going to make him explicitly ask for it. The material of his belt squeaked as his fists clenched before he released it completely, drawing his arms under his cape again. 

         “What is your name?” he forced out. The sudden wave of uncertainty around your answer surprised him. Had you really not expected him to press you on it? 

         “(Y/N),” was barely a whisper but he heard it nonetheless. What was left of his biological body stiffened and he blinked slowly as he absorbed the information. That wasn’t the name of a Sith apprentice, an identity passed on from a Master. 

It was you, the person beneath all the hatred and pain. 

         “Keep it to yourself,” you growled, your usual sharp attitude back in place. You stared up at him with a hard, narrow-eyed look for a few more seconds before brushing past him. Vader turned enough to watch you storm across the bridge and he started to wonder if your trust was a powerplay after all. He secretly hoped it wasn’t. 

Life was agonizingly lonely when everything stayed sealed behind impenetrable walls and it appeared you knew that feeling just as well as he did.

It wasn’t the first time you’d seen them but the beautiful snow-capped mountains that broke up the long stretches of grasslands on the surface of the small moon stole your breath. The crisp, clean air was such an extreme contrast to the filtered, stale air of Courscant that taking a deep breath made your lungs sting faintly. Vader was still milling around inside the shuttle but you didn’t mind the few seconds of peace, a sensation that always hovered just out of reach. You let your eyes fall shut and drifted into the Force, letting out a long sigh. You could sense the ground under your feet and the thousands of species roaming the moon and for a beautiful second, the frigid grip of the darkside relented.

Vader’s presence was faint as he exited the shuttle, his emotions locked behind tight shields as he moved to stand at your side. You were almost reluctant to reel in your senses again but you didn’t have time to stop and smell the flowers. The chill returned to your core as you looked up at Vader, blinking away the heaviness in your mind. His posture stiffened, his stare searing into your eyes as he slowly, almost mindlessly, lifted a hand. Maybe it was your brief meditation or raw curiosity but you didn’t step away, lazily dragging your eyes around his angular mask. The feather-light touch of leather at the corner of your eye sent an involuntary shiver up your spine. The touch seemed to surprise him like he wasn’t aware that he was moving and his hand fell away, pinning you in place with his unseen gaze. 

An officer hurrying down the ramp called for him, shattering the quiet moment and you blinked, your brows furrowing. You didn’t watch Vader walk off but the ghost of his touch burned the corner of your eye. It would’ve made you laugh if someone ever told you Vader had the capacity to be gentle but it was becoming harder and harder to find the idea funny now. 

Especially when your stomach was still somersaulting from the intimacy of it. 

What the hell is happening to me?

Vader fell into the middle of the group, letting his Captain lead the way to the royal family’s home. You were walking somewhere off to the side a few paces ahead of him, engaged in a conversation with a Commander he couldn’t put a name to at the moment. When you turned your head to talk to the Stormtrooper at your side, he could see your eyes had shifted back towards gold again but they were muddled with the undertone of your natural eye color. 

Vader flexed his hand, his mind playing tricks on him because he couldn’t actually feel sensations through the prosthetic. The lingering warmth of your skin was an illusion that made his frustration spike. This seesawing of his views toward you needed to stop; you’re difficult, brash, and arrogant, all things that grate his nerves. Yet the more he thought about it, the less confident he felt about his conclusions. 

What made you different from him?

As the procession approached the royal home you dropped back a few steps, filling the empty spot at Vader’s side. He could feel your anger lingering around your shoulders, the dark emotion occasionally brushing against him only for it to be overlooked. Vader’s continued disregard of your ire towards him made it swell and grow more imposing but luckily they arrived at their destination. Troopers cleared a path leaving him to stand in front of the thin, terrified maid that answered the door. 

         “Lord Vader,” a booming voice called from somewhere out of sight. The man he assumed to be the king appeared behind the young girl, shooing her away silently before bowing, an action that made Vader want to roll his eyes. “Please, follow me. My General is anxious to begin strategizing.”

Vader chanced a look down at you and caught your eye only to clench his fist when you raised an expectant brow at him. He followed the veteran king through the corridors, acutely aware of your presence a few paces behind him. 

Finally, you arrived at your room. Hours and hours of briefing and planning made you want to claw your eyes out. Your skill set didn’t involve battle strategizing; during the war when you were sent onto the battlefield, you listened to the plan and acted. The plotting, revising, then replotting attacks made your head hurt, and all you wanted to collapse into bed but things were never that easy. 

Vader’s massive frame made the sitting room feel tiny and paired with your annoyance about the arrangements made it feel suffocating. 

         “You are being dramatic,” Vader rumbled, crossing his strong arms over his chest. The sound of your teeth grinding together only aggravated you more as you spit out a few unsavory insults in Huttese. “That was rude.”

         “Oh, shut up,” you huffed, walking into the room you’d claimed and shutting the door with a wave of your hand. It wasn’t quite fair to be angry with him when he, obviously, had no idea why but no one ever said you were reasonable. It only angered you more that you weren’t actually mad at Vader. His stunt outside the shuttle confused you more than anything.

You flopped onto the huge bed against the wall with a sigh, staring up at the intricately designed ceiling. You could make out the thump of Vader’s boots as he moved around in the small sitting room until his footsteps retreated into the other room opposite yours. There were a handful of other things you could be doing but frankly, you didn’t feel like it. So instead, you slid out of bed, barely containing the urge to throw the kriffing uniform over the balcony and tugging on the comfortable clothes you’d been longing for all day.

The sitting room was…pleasant. The walls were a soft neutral tone that complimented the slate flooring and delicate rugs. The two eggshell couches were accented with gold along the seams that matched the metallic end tables and a bar filled the corner near your room. It was pretty but what begged for your attention was the large doors that opened onto a balcony facing the mountains. The snowy peaks look even bright in the twin moonlight, twinkling like the stars overhead. 

His approach was as quiet as humanly possible for him but you didn’t acknowledge him. 

The gentle breeze lifted the end of his cape, the heavy fabric brushing against your leg and you were surprised to find that he was still wearing all his armor. You thought about bringing up what was bothering you earlier but you just didn’t have the energy to go at it with him. 

         “Pretty, isn’t it?” you asked instead, leaning into the railing. Vader made a quiet rumbling sound in response that you took as his agreement. You had to duck your head to hide your smile when the thought, he sounds like a loth cat purring drifted through your head. 

         “He is testing you.” The statement came out of left field and you just blinked up at the side of Vader’s head for a second, trying to get your thoughts in order. 

         “Who’s testing me for what?” you finally asked. Vader rested his huge hands on the railing, completely enveloping it but said nothing, continuing to stare out at the endless grasslands. 

         “He is interested to know if you could replace me.” 

         “Excuse me?” you choked out, turning to face him fully. His head tilted slightly as he looked down at you, his breathing suddenly sounding too loud in the quiet night. “Why?”

         “My Master does not like to be disappointed,” Vader replied, his mask and tight shields giving nothing away. “If I fail him, he will replace me.”

         “I don’t want that,” you whispered, shaking your head. Cold, all-consuming fear bled into the marrow of your bones, and your eyes glazed over. Flashes of bright blue light, burning flesh, and waves of pain flashed through your mind and you took an instinctive step back. If you thought Dooku was bad, the man that made him had to be even worse. 

Every muscle went rigid when a large hand closed around your arm, stopping your retreat.

         “(Y/N).” The deep rumbling voice snapped you back to the present and you blinked at the expressionless mask that was significantly closer than it was minutes before. It didn’t matter what you wanted because unless you ran and continued to run, you were stuck under the Emperor’s thumb. 

         “What choice do I have?” you asked softly, relaxing into Vader’s grip. 

         “The same one I have.”

Do as you’re told or face the consequences. 

The new information was too much, too overwhelming to handle after the day you had. Vader suddenly turned into a rival for a position you didn’t want. You wanted to stay far away from Sidious if possible but it was starting to look like that was a pipe dream. Whatever friendship that had been forming between you and Vader was null and void, it had to be unless you rolled over and gave up. Your head felt too heavy, a faint pulsing starting in your temple that would quickly form into a migraine. Without much thought, you dropped your head forward and it didn’t register that your forehead was resting on his chest until Vader tensed. You blinked a few times, your brain catching up with your body and you were ready to stumble away when a rigid hand lightly rested against the back of your head.

It was almost comical how bad Vader was at offering comfort but the gesture still brought a small smile to your face. Things would change come daybreak but until then you relished in the illusion that whatever had been growing between you and him wasn’t doomed from the start. 

Taglist: @the-official-memester @dokoni-mo @burn-bunny @guinea-pig16 @alisu-id @vanillacoffeeaddict @astra-1780 @yvette-ace​ @instantnoooodles​ 

[normaltothemax]

The longer the man is in there, the more uncomfortable Archie feels. It isn't that he's afraid of the other (aside from a healthy dose of respect for the fact that the man could probably easily rip him to shreds, should he choose to), it's that, well, people are complicated. Even more so when any sort of politics are involved. While that's wonderful, makes for an exciting and colourful world, and all that la-dee-dah crap, Archie doesn't quite get most people on the best and simplest of days.

The combination of an unknown Alpha werewolf, Archie having entered his territory uninvited, and the fact that this now technically makes him a representative of his own pack (bringing with it even more complications and expectations), is making for a truly horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

It isn't even noon.

He only grows tenser as the man approaches his table, eyes closing for a brief moment as he takes a breath and tries to collect himself. To avoid coming off as a complete basket case. Hint: it doesn't work all that well. It isn't until the man's standing at his table that Archie realizes he's just about crushing his cup. If he was to hold on any tighter, he'd no doubt get coffee all over the table. He has to force his grip to loosen, one finger at a time, before he clasps his hands on top of the table instead.

Despite not finding the joke all that funny, he gives a polite, if nervous, laugh. "Yes, I suppose they wouldn't." He clears his throat, resists the urge to bite down on his lip. Back straight. Don't slouch, Archibald. And for god's sake, pick your eyes up off the floor. His mother's disappointed voice has him fixing his posture (despite the urge to disappear remaining strong) and lifting his gaze. He still doesn't quite meet the other man's eyes.

"Yes, thank you, I'm just...thinking." Overthinking, as usual, but not much he can do about that now. He takes a breath, tries to put a bit of confidence in his voice. "Actually, I was wondering if you might have time for a quick, er, chat." He wets his lips, swallows, before gesturing to the bench across from him. "I won't take much of your time. Unless there's somewhere else you need to be, of course."

Please say there is.

Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, need coffee, where’s the coffee—

It’s ultimately the only thought currently going through his head, nearly knocking into some poor person as he stumbles through the door—with a quick apology to boot, of course. And maybe someone promising to bring him a little treat later for all his hard work? Honestly, Manuel really wasn’t paying much attention.

Already he was ordering his usual, having an idle chat with the barista just to tickle the brain into some functionality. The sharper stench of anxiety in the air isn’t something he’s not used to, but there was something enough different to make him look up and around. And… well… if that rather fancy looking guy was hoping to hide, he really didn’t seem like he was doing a good idea.

“¿Es nuevo?” A quick question for the barista again, though they seemed to only give Manuel a quick shrug before going back to his drink. So… that was probably a yes. Maybe. Well… there were probably a million worse places to hide out in, assuming that’s what he was doing, of course.

And—well, damn that itching urge just to check in because it’s already moving his feet as soon as he grabs his order. The closer he gets? Yeah, it seemed like he was looking at the right person. “Hey.”

A surprisingly gentle call just because the poor thing looks like he’s about halfway to shitting himself for some reason. “Don’t think they’re gonna appreciate cleaning up if you ruin that seat, y’know.” The joke? Could hardly be helped, though Manny’s quick to turn down to a polite yet questioning frown of concern. “You okay though…?”

Again, it seemed polite enough to check.

[tamaki-kisses]

notes: nervous virgin! tamaki , accidental boner , established relationship, embarrassment , blow job , fem! reader has tits & pussy

+

“tamaki?”

your voice comes out casual and unceremonious, a significant contrast to how the flutters dancing and flickering in your chest are making you feel. they’re accompanied by the heavy pounding of your heart. it’s impossible to disregard tamaki’s pulsating hardness pressing up against you, it’s what put the idea into your head, after all.

“hm?”

he’s securely clutching you from behind, like a koala bear hanging from a branch. his unsteady breath faintly tickles the back of your neck and the fine hairs coating it. you shiver involuntarily, agonizing over how you’re going to possibly word this. he’s obviously not going to bring attention to his little ‘issue’ and your own tingling heat between your legs makes it difficult to ignore. if anyone’s going to address it… it’s you.

you’re apprehensive and contemplating against his stiff radiating warmth before finally forcing the proposition out into the shared air between you both.

“you know, if you want…” the fluttering takes steep whoosh into your stomach. tamaki’s slender fingers continue to tap on your midsection with a false sense of composure. “i could give you a blowjob.”

a panicked gasp reaches your ear immediately and you’re not at all surprised when the hotness of his erection is pulled away from you. that inital reaction gets a wince out of you as you sit up on your side just in time to see tamaki scramble across your bed to lean against the wall. he soon covers his lap with a spare blanket and refuses to even glance in your direction. his long ears droop, a cherry redness reaching the tips.

“you don’t have to do that… i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean for that to happen… it’s just sometimes- i don’t know… having you so close to me is a lot- oh no, i sound like a pervert, i swear i’m not a pervert…”

his frantic rambling eventually trails off on its own and you give a chance to somewhat recover before responding. “it’s okay. really, i swear. it’s fine, i don’t think you’re a pervert. and i actually want to, you know, suck you off…”

that last part makes your face flush, your cheeks igniting fiercely, but you manage to keep your relaxed demeanor up for his sake.

“you want to.” tamaki repeats, slowly. his dark eyes dart back and forth like he’s watching an intense tennis match before his stare finally lands back on the bed. you can almost see the gears turning in his head. “i just don’t want to take advantage of you…”

the whisper honestly breaks your heart, a bit of sadness creeping in knowing that he worries about that. shaking your head gently, you crawl over to him and rub your thumb over his edged jawline. he jolts under your touch and continues to shift restlessly. you bring your other hand to his warm cheek. a deep sigh, maybe relief, leaves him, but his pretty eyes still refuse to meet yours.

“tamaki. look at me.” you smile lovingly, realizing that you could truly watch him for a lifetime. it’s like gazing at the night sky when he finally does look at you and gives you a view of his eyes up close. “i want to. i promise.”

a peaceful quiet falls over the two of you before he gently moves your hands away and leaves an affectionate kiss on your temple. your skin jumps at the captivating sensation of his tufts of hair brushing against you. “o-okay.”

you’re surprised as you watch him gradually remove the blanket that was once obscuring his crotch. he looks adorably shy, pink face scrunching up in a sulk when you can’t help but stare down at the large bulge straining against the thin fabric of his sweatpants. your clit pulses with excitement, but you shake yourself out of it and try to figure out how this is going to work.

“come over here,”

you laugh softly and slide down to the floor before patting the edge of the bed. tamaki awkwardly scooches across the comforter until he’s perched on the spot you directed. now that he’s close enough, you lift his shirt teasingly and trace your fingers over his firm stomach muscles with one hand and pinch under his knee with the other. he jostles from the purposeful tickling and says your name in the midst of a protesting chuckle. that’s something you’re confident with, but you take the leap and fiddle with the waistband of his pants.

tamaki gulps audibly and nods at you to continue, slightly lifting himself up. you’re able to pull them off swiftly, but your nerves only increase at the sight of his boxers. they’re the only barrier between you and his hard on and it’s a daunting thought. you leave a playful kiss on the softer part of his stomach, but know there’s really no use in stalling this any longer.

you finish stripping his lower half.

from above you, tamaki lets a low mewling whimper go and your already wobbly breath catches in your throat.

he’s big.

sure, you had expected that much from the clothed peeks you’d already gotten, but actually having his cock a few inches away from your face is a totally different story. you can’t tear your accidental stare away; he’s definitely not lacking in any aspects and there’s a single prominent vein running down the side. the head is brightly roseate and already leaking a generous amount of precum.

he doesn’t take your shameless gawking very well, whining your name again as he hides his pouting face in his palms. “d-don’t look at it like that…”

you giggle at how endearing that display is, a nice contrast to his admittedly intimidating cock. it’s when you lean up to leave a feathery kiss on his cheek that an idea to make him feel a little better pops into your head.

tamaki’s still hiding behind his hand as you easily shrug off your oversized pajama shirt and toss it aside. your breasts hang from your chest freely out in the open, nipples perky and interested. you try not to think too much about it as you crane upwards again to attack his ears this time.

he emits a stuttering gasp when your tongue begins to trace the pointed shell of one. you travel down and suckle at the lobe for a moment before whispering his name.

the results are as expected.

his hand falls away and his mouth goes almost slack, when he sees you, hungry eyes going over every inch of your halfway undressed figure. a single restrained squeak, something that makes your insides squeeze with adoration, leaves him.

“oh my god…” tamaki starts to squirm involuntarily, nearly reaching for his exposed cock before catching himself.

you grin sheepishly and almost ask him if he wants to touch them, but decide you don’t want him passed out on your bedroom floor. it’s a real shame though. you can feel your panties grow more damp at just the thought of him nervously toying with your tits with those pretty hands of his.

with anticipation reaching an almost painful boiling point, you move forward to take him in your hand. it’s clear you might’ve done so with too much vigor, or maybe just enough, when tamaki’s hips twist sharply and a loud treble moan makes itself known.

“ahhh-“ his eyes squeeze shut and a hand slaps over his mouth, muffling the light airy moans that soon follow the first.

you continue, head spinning as you have his hard cock in your grasp, and lean in to lick at the head. it’s an incredibly foreign taste and salty to a horrible degree, but you happily lap your tongue over his entire length. tamaki responds with more barely controlled thrusts and wispy groans.

jt’s aggressively overwhelming when you first slip your lips over his cock. the thick heat of it chokes you as you try to get used to the fullness. your jaw is quick to ache after just a few moments of opening your mouth as wide as possible in an attempt not to add teeth to the equation.

you’re not going to be able to fit all of him, but your hand, the one still at the base brushing up against his inky hair, isn’t out of the picture. tamaki keens so sweetly when you start to jerk him off in addition to slurping and sucking his soaking cock.

you’ve only just established some kind of rhythm when his hip movements become more erratic and gasps become shakier.

“m, close-” tamaki sputters out from between his fingers to your surprise. already? you take it as a sort of compliment and trek on.

the noise that’s created from you practically inhaling the tip of his cock makes your head spin with electrifying excitement. your bare thighs stick together with both sweat and slick and you allow your free hand to sneak over and grope at your clothed pussy.

you feel tamaki tense, another squeak pulled from the depths of his throat. “-move!”

even though the idea of swallowing entices you, his warning doesn’t go ignored and you slip off him with a resounding pop.

at just the right moment.

you look up to see tamaki reach his climax and are instead caught off guard as spurts of thick cum splash onto your flushed cheeks. a gasp leaves you while some of it splatters onto your bare chest. you still manage to catch him riding out the last of his orgasm; eyes pinched shut, pointed ears twitching along with his cock, and hand still acting as barrier against all of his lovely groans and cries.

in the second before tamaki gathers himself and inevitably panics at the sight of you, you’re still wishing you would’ve swallowed…

[cricketnationrise]

AHH CRICKET CONGRATS ON 200!!!

for the fest could you do Tater on June 30th 2016 at Jack and Bitty’s apartment?

Thank you so much, your writing is everything <3

Thank you! Your prompt plus a comment from @itsthekiks on the other Tater ficlet (Hotel Room, Mar. 1) sent me into companion piece mode. So if you think you recognize lines, you do and it's on purpose! I hope you like it 💜

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Jack's Apartment, Jun. 30, 2016

Although he’d woken up hours ago, Tater still hasn’t turned on a light. He wakes up before his alarm, stretches magnificently, and soaks up the pre-dawn stillness of Jack's apartment.

He watches, eyes unfocused, as the pink- and orange-tinted light moves lazily across the ceiling, heralding a new day.

When he finally looks at the clock, there’s still an hour until he even has to think about getting out of bed. He’s got PT at eleven, and then lunch at a new restaurant with B and Zimmboni. Tonight Bitty’s going to teach him how to make blueberry pie properly.

This summer has been good for Tater. Aside from the Cup win, he’s happier than he’s been in a while. He’s able to shake off his melancholy about his injury easily, focusing on one session at a time and feeling stronger every day and lunch on me today boys. But today, today is especially great. He’s well rested, the only sore muscles are a good sore from working out, he’s got a call with his parents scheduled for tomorrow, and time with Little B and Jack is always welcome.

With them, there’s no pressure to talk about hockey (unless Bitty is freaking out about being named Samwell’s captain again). Sure, he and Jack chat about their teammates’ vacations, and Thirdy texts him funny pictures of his daughter. But the cautious checking in on him from earlier this year is noticeably absent. 

Every local Cup Day is a party for the whole team. The rookies, the coaches, even the old guys who normally go to bed early. Even Jack “Too-Busy-Looking-At-My-Boyfriend-To-Drink” Zimmermann joins in the celebrations. Tater laughs louder and longer than anyone when Jack and his parents recreate the photos of Jack being put in the Cup as a baby.

Tater loves his team, is the thing, wants to be there for them as much as possible. Tater knows they love him too, that they want him whole and healthy – not for the team’s sake, but for his own. For them, he’s enough. Tater isn’t desperate to prove anything anymore, content to dig deeper for one more joke, one more hug, one more memory; buoyant that he gets these people in his life.

Watching Jack and Bitty in their apartment is like watching professional dancers. It’s a cliché, but they move around each other like they were born for it, like two halves of a whole, constantly aware of the other. If Tater wants for anything, it's for that feeling, to find his person. Wants to soak up the kind of love that proves even the worst cynics wrong, that makes people sit up and take notice. But he’ll happily bear witness to the kind of love that stories are written about in the meantime.

Summers like this don’t happen to everyone, he knows. Intellectually he accepts that he’s got more PT ahead of him, walking farther, lifting more, stretching just a little bit more— But something in his heart sings at the thought of being fully recovered from this injury. Tater prides himself on being dependable, cheerful, someone his team and his friends can rely on. He delivered on that and more during the play-offs – who’s to say his injury didn’t inspire his team to be that much better?

He blinks up at the suddenly bright ceiling, realizing he’s been grinning only when his cheeks start to hurt. He can just hear Zimmboni’s soft voice in the spaces between the garbled flood of Georgia-accented words from Little B through the wall. The smell of baking cinnamon rolls wafts through the air, bringing another smile to his face.

Tater is better than he was in March. There’s always someone to hang out with, to hug, to joke with, to just fucking talk to. Today’s going to be a good day. Today he’s got PT and lunch sitting outside with friends and a nap and learning to make pie and his leg feels strong and he slept well and it’s no effort at all to bring out a happy face. Twenty more minutes, he thinks, and closes his eyes, drifting into an easy sleep.

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if you follow me and want your own ficlet, details are here!

(anon prompts aren't guaranteed to be filled; if i do them at all it'll be at the end 💜)