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look-at-the-soul · 2 years ago

Note

Hey not sure if your requests are open as I’ve had an idea based on this picture. The reader could be having an extremely stressful day and tommy comes home to find her looking out their bedroom window and he gives her a cuddle knowing it always calms her down. Or you can do whatever

Hello Chloe! Thank you so so much for sending in this beautiful photo! I hope you enjoy this (is longer than a drabble but shorter than a one shot) ☺️

🎉 I wrote this little piece to celebrate my dear Aimee @dandelionprints 100 followers congratulations darling!! You probably have more now, I’m just so glad that I found your blog here, thank you for the beautiful stories you share!

Close your eyes, make a wish

Modern Tommy Shelby x reader

This is pure fluff 🥰

Taking off the jacket of his suit, Tommy discarded it over the bed, his eyes roaming across the bedroom finding you looking outside, leaning on the window frame. His eyes stopped for a moment in the dandelion he bought for one of your anniversaries.

It was beautifully captured in a resin crystal ball, the smile you gave him when you opened his present was priceless.

In silence, he wrapped his arms around your midsection, earning a little jump of surprise to feel him suddenly.

“Is everything alright?” He asked. His breath fanning over the skin of your neck.

“Yes… it’s just a bit overwhelming with the wedding, the guest list and I don’t have a dress yet.”

His lips stopped kissing your neck, a smile replacing.

“But why are you so worried, darling?” You found his eyes looking at you in the window reflection. “I’d still marry you if you show up wearing a potato sack.”

That made you chuckle before turning around in his arms. “I know you would.”

“Then it’s all set.” Tommy winked squeezing his hands on your hips slightly while you shook your head. “No? Fair enough… as I can’t and won’t be doing the wedding planner’s job, my only suggestion is forget about the wedding for one day, Charlie’s coming tomorrow to spend the weekend with us, so why don’t we have some fun?”

“Oh! You know how to?” You joked earning an eye roll from your fiancé.

“What kind of fun?”

“Family fun, I don’t know you’re the creative one from us.” He added playfully bumping his nose with yours before pulling you to the en-suite bathroom.

****

“Hi Y/N!” Charlie shouted you from the door, a big smile decorating his face as he saw you waiting in the queue.

You waved at him and immediately felt his positive energy bring you back to life, all other worries melted away.

But his teacher made you go through a hard time when she mentioned they didn’t get a call to notify that Tommy wouldn’t pick up Charlie from school. As if they were friends.

“Is alright, Y/N and my Dad had a sleepover and-” But you covered his mouth before Charlie could continue with his explanation, while a soft blush covered your cheeks.

“I understand, let me call my fiancé.” You stated taking out your phone, flashing your engagement ring at the teacher. Your Tommy asked last minute if you could pick up his son from school.

A few minutes later, you were giving Charlie a little speech of how important safety was, and how only Grace, Tommy and sometimes you were the only ones allowed to pick him up. Kids could get tricked so easily, get taken away in a blink, besides taking care of Tommy’s son was a huge responsibility.

But Charlie, being a kid, he quickly changed the topic.

“Y/N...”

“Yes sweetheart?”

“Can we make a water balloons war for my birthday?”

“But it will be in winter, it’s going to be cold...”

“Oh.” Charlie looked down, his happy bubble was deflated.

“Unless...”

Anthony, Tommy’s new driver looked at you through the review mirror, he suddenly felt concerned. “Mr. Shelby instructed to drive you straight home.”

“We’ll be quick, I promise.”

“If I get in trouble...”

“Don’t worry Anthony, I will tell Dad it was Y/N’s idea.”

“Hey!” You protested, but then went on to tell Anthony to stop at the shopping mall. You only needed a few things.

After all Tommy asked you to think of something fun, didn’t he?

***

“Mr. Shelby, you got back earlier.” Frances frowned, but took his suit jacket from his hands.

Frowning back, Tommy stopped to look at her. “Y/N texted me, said something important came up.”

“Oh...”

Squinting his eyes at her, Tommy tilted his head confused. Why was Frances acting like that?

In a reflection, he moved his hand to the holster, to take his gun.

“You might want me to keep that one away and use this instead.” Frances explained, offering him a piece of paper and a plastic gun.

But before he could react, Tommy got a shot of water straight in the back of his head.

Time seemed to stop right there. Frances was holding her breath.

Slowly, Tommy turned around to find you pointing your water gun at him.

Even Charlie stopped laughing.

His eyes were covered by his Raybans, but you had an idea of the dead look he was giving you.

“Pum pum!” You imitated the sound of a gun. But as a mischievous smile appeared on his face, you added: “Shit... run Charlie!”

Frances was worried about the decorations, terrified of a flower vase falling to the floor, but felt more relieved when you and Charlie took the water war outside.

Tommy was used to guns, all kinds. Apart from horses, he had a massive collection of weapons, yet he had never used a water gun.

“Charlie get down!” You advised, shooting Tommy again, failing this time.

Tommy laughed, a deep and contagious sound that took him by surprise.

Charlie rolled over the grass in a very dramatic motion, as if with that Tommy wouldn’t point his weapon and shoot Charlie straight in the forehead.

“Hey that's not fair, he’s only a child!” You scolded him coming from behind a tree.

But it was a mistake, because Tommy took the chance to shoot you straight at breasts-level. Now you had two wet circles that made your bra visible.

Making a face and giving him a dead stare, you asked him; “Are you kidding me?”

“You are the one who came up with the idea, love.” Tommy winked at you and for the first time in a very long time, you noticed he was having fun.

“Yes you need to relax.” Splash. “Urgently.” Splash.

In response you shot him straight in the face.

Taking his handkerchief from his pocket, Tommy stared into your eyes intensely.

“You know you’re going to pay for this later right?”

Biting your lower lip, you nodded. Excitement running to the spot between your legs.

Heart beating fast, happiness pouring, deep laughs was all could be seen right there in that moment. Even Cyril joined the outside fun at some point, but soon he preferred a quiet time and went to rest under a tree.

“All against Charlie!” You shouted directing the water gun to Charlie’s back.

The kid squealed in delight and ran off to hide behind his father’s car.

Tommy stared at the scene before him, how did he become so damn lucky?

Charlie would spend the entire weekend with the two of you, so you would be able to enjoy some time together, and with you hanging around, Charlie surely would be having a good time granted.

After calling for a truce because he was really tired, so the three of you went to sit on the picnic blanket Frances set up thinking Mr. Shelby would want some rest, she really thought of everything; setting a jar of cold lemonade, sandwiches and some cookies. She knew listening to Mr. Shelby laugh was one of those very rare moments that doesn’t happen everyday, so she thought of prolonging it as much as possible.

As spring started to blossom, the flowers around Arrow House got impossibly gorgeous, the clean fresh air from the country house combined to the incredible weather relaxed her.

You needed this, after so many days planning, worrying, you couldn’t take it anymore.

“I don’t know how you will be able to make me move from here.” Tommy joked too content resting his head on your lap.

“We can camp out!” Charlie proposed.

“I can get a snake bite here.” You made a terrified face to Charlie.

The kid chuckled, dimples showing just like his father’s. “There are no snakes around Y/N and if they are, Dad can defend you.”

You chuckled. Starting to run your fingers through Tommy’s hair, the longer parts at the top anyways.

Opening one of his eyes, Tommy found a dandelion right next to his body. Taking it into his hand carefully he placed it in front of your face.

“Make a wish.” Tommy requested.

“Do you remember?” Your face was full of surprise.

“Of course I do, that’s how I got you to accept be my woman. I wished for it.”

Closing your eyes momentarily, you remembered the afternoon when Tommy asked you to be his girlfriend, he showed a dandelion and said he made a wish, he wanted to get to spend the rest of his days with you.

“Should we make a wish?” Tommy proposed.

Wrapping a hand around the one in which he was holding the dandelion, you and Tommy blew watching the small piece flying away.

“Charlie I want to ask you something really important.”

That caught the Shelby’s attention. Both father and son looked at you intensely.

“You know how I don’t have anyone to walk me down the aisle… would you like to give me away to your father?” You tried to fight the lump that had created in your throat.

Tommy held his breath, he didn’t expect it, but deep down he knew how much it would mean to you.

As seconds passed by, Charlie’s smile grew bigger until he threw himself into your arms squealing a loud yes!

“This is the bestest day ever!” Charlie beamed, wrapping his arms around each other, bringing their heads together. “Do I get to wear a tux just like Dad?”

But he couldn’t wait for a answer and immediately took off running telling Cyril what you just asked him.

You looked at Tommy touched by his son’s words.

Knowing that Charlie was a happy kid was all your fiancé wanted.

“Can I ask what your wish was?” You asked resting your head on his shoulder.

“This.”

***

A/N ☺️ thank you for reading! I hope you liked it 💕

Master list

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @gypsy-girl-08 @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney @gretelshelby @ange-thoughts @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan @stevie75 @thenattitude @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @strayrockette @forbidden-forest-witch @elenavampire21 @forgottenpeakywriter @zablife @peakyscillian @moral-terpitude @babaohhhriley @shelbydelrey @shaddixlife @sloanexx @cilliansangel @rangerelik @sydneyyyya @adaydreamaway08 @dandelionprints @thomashelbyswhore

#That’s what Cill said #cillian murphy #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #cillian murphy imagine #modern tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x reader #modern Tommy shelby

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cringefaecompilation · 10 months ago

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the most dimension 20-ass moments in critical role so far

most of exu because aimee and robbie have huge d20 player energy, but these moments in particular:

fearne's shitty accent when she was faking being a ship's cook "NANCY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" "mother." "did you touch the circlet?" "yeah! that's how you hold stuff!" "if you were any gemstone, what would you be?" "i'd be a diamond cause they're hard as i am- WAIT NO NO NO NO" orym eating his own weight in pies dariax making it sound like one of opal's bullies sharted her pants with thaumaturgy

the fearne, orym and dorian intro where dorian goes "fearne, is this ship going to stop?" and she replies "i dunno, i think we're gonna crash :D"

"I NEED MORE CHILDREN!"

everyone miming eating breakfast sandwiches when they can't find bertrand

orym nearly getting bh killed because he said cake sucks to eshteross' face

imogen asking pretty out on a 3 (4) person date to help her friends not get caught, the resulting date and rejection, and all the times it gets brought up again

"maude."

"i was trying to keep a low profile!" "YOU'RE DRESSED AS THE NIGHTMARE KING!"

"HE PROPOSED!"

"what's wrong, daniel?"

everyone piling into an elevator at the same time and liam miming getting his face smashed into the wall

the entire twilight museum bit, but mostly just orym getting blocked from helping the gang three times in a row

"want some candy? wa-wa-want some candy?"

fearne spending her turn keeping watch by breathing a smiley face into ashton's head and then going back to sleep because she forgot they were taking turns

xandis

end episode "oh! right. hondir." start episode back up "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT ME THIS IS SUCH STUPID BULLSHIT!"

the karen culling

the entire first half of ep 33. esp fcg driving the crawler and ashton screaming "YOU ARE TOO OLD TO DRIVE"

"WE DON'T LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND" followed by everyone but ashton falling off the airship

"uh. guys. bones. fast. bones. lots of bones coming this way."

after a solid month of agonizing over laudna being possibly permadead she's brought back with a slap

"oops. i did it again"

fake orgy leading into horse fearne

ashton's offscreen sidequest and him using a 6th(?) level spell slot just to say "okay"

fearne's horrifying nana revealing she's got a juice bar

the goat float

"ALRIGHT, GUYS! WE'RE EATING JERRY!"

"he's OUR problematic beast!"

orym's mom showing everyone his little baby boots

a drag queen calling ashton hot after he barges in and throws trash on the floor for them to make an outfit out of

everyone interrogating an evil sword that clearly only lies and getting more and more pissed off at it as it does

orym talking to his dead family whilst laudna and chet fly overhead shooting bees at each other

feeding shithead to fcg

fearne nearly dying after spooning a pirate, getting him together with a girl that's crushing on him, and them both being so happy that they throw bh a party

"THERE WAS. NO. LIMBO." and orym quietly takes away the limbo vine

the literal shitstorm given to the party by Mi

hotboxing a tree

"TAKE YOUR NINTH LEVEL SPELL AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS" was ic and i stand by it

wok sledding

imogen intimidating a reilora and then BOOKING IT behind a rock to gasp for air

#🍃#critical role #critrole #dimension 20 #d20 #add your own if you want to!

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solarsleepless · 4 months ago

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please talk more about your au I love it very much

im really glad you guys (my target audience) are enjoying this as much as you are!! im a big fan of it even if i dont have enough ideas or motivation to write it (which has been a big oof for me these last few months)

anyways, here's some more details abt the au:

inspired by @sianabird's au, birdie is a teacher and married to siana, also a teacher, and they raise nuka together. when becky goes back to school, they're both really accommodating and understanding, not questioning why becky needs a room to calm down in if she needs it. nuka made a stimming toy for siana to give to birdie and it's one of becky's favourite things.

becky in this is probably autistic, if nothing because i'm autistic and love projecting onto my favourite character <3

becky used to have stims that were more harmful to herself and many of aimee's foster kids were neurodivergent in some way (one had ocd, one had BPD, three had dyslexia, etc) so she noticed near-immediately and gave her some stimming stuff. there's a funky fluffy thing shaped like a hedgehog she can press, a necklace she can chew on, several rings which she adores which she can twist (i had them, they weren't right for me but i think becky would love them).

i may or may not project my hearing issues on her but the jury's still out there on that one LFMAIRHJFHJR

gus and wendy majorly helped becky come out of her shell (along with the animal army, who i'll get to in a bit). wendy was the only kid aimee fully adopted, and gus is wendy's best friend, so they hung around a lot inside the house. wendy knows what it's like to be in the foster system (though it didn't happen to be as cruel with her as it was with becky) and was really kind to her without being like too much. and gus hadn't spent as much time in the foster system but is so happy and full of kindness that he's just great to hang out with. they both understand when becky doesn't come out of her room a lot, but they're both accepting when she comes over to watch them play or play with them

i've updated gus's situation: he's still jepp's adopted kid, but they're only a year on from being adopted and still getting used to it!

anyways, the animal army (which is their name, despite only having like. 4 people including tiger) really helped too, as they hung out with her but without forcing her to talk, letting her just... be part of them, and it helped becky talk to them, even if she did feel like a stranger despite knowing them for little over a month already, so yeah

at the beginning of this au, becky's mental health is similar to that to mid-s3. she's not the confident leader of the animal army like in the beginning of s1/the end of s2, and doesn't have that purpose of finding and taking care of that drives her throughout all three seasons. she's lost and adrift, believing herself to unlovable, but slowly comes to find that she is loved and cared about by those around her, and shows herself to be the warm and open person we know and love <3

#sweet tooth au #[holds becky from this au very gently] i just think she's neat #sweet tooth netflix #wendy sweet tooth #gus sweet tooth #wendy eden #animal army sweet tooth #tiger sweet tooth

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puppetshcw · 1 year ago

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NEW DANCE ⸺ other known as DANCE ALL NIGHT ⸺, is the third english single released digitally on september 5th by MIGHTY DEVIL's STUPID CUPID. despite the song being completely sung in english, the girls promoted on MCOUNTDOWN for almost 2 weeks, as well as various american shows, such as GOOD MORNING AMERICA, THE TONIGHT SHOW and others.

track list.

NEW DANCE ( DANCE ALL NIGHT )

NEW DANCE ( DANCE ALL NIGHT INST. )

era notes.

this era started a bit bad for the group, as someone uploaded a snippet of the song on youtube, claiming that NEW DANCE was first shown during BARBIE premiere's AFTER-PARTY. the op claimed one of their celebrity friends sent them the snippet, which they decided to upload on youtube a day before the single would be released, angering the fans who claimed the op was not an actual CHERUB.

MIGHTY DEVIL refused to say anything and kept silent until they dropped the single. fans also noticed that the company hasn't released any teasers whatsoever, except the first one that was posted on twitter. other than that terrible start, STUPID CUPID achieved much more than what they expected!

the group was invited to perform on GMA, which was their first feature on such a show! they also performed on THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON, which the girls say they had a blast and so much fun being featured on such a show like that.

just like during ILYMORE, CHESKA helped in producing the song, while TOMIE & VIVA helped in creating the choreography! fans are happy to see the girls have creative freedom, as they barely had that ever since they debuted.

many claimed the mv for NEW DANCE is one of the most fun ones STUPID CUPID ever released. it was simple, yet it showed how much enjoyment the girls had filming it. it had slight moods of y2k and retro, which brought something fresh to the mv!

during one of the encore stages, VIVA once again went viral, but this time during one of her verses, other members crept up behind her and started tickling her. her giggles were then cropped and posted on twitter, which were reposted so much, that the hashtag #VIVAGIGGLES became no. 2 on the trending searches!

their tiktok was FULL of other idols doing the #NEWDANCE_CHALLENGE, and half of them were the ones CHERUBS never saw interacting with the girls, but were glad the members decided to open up and approach more people!

as for the hair colours in this era, CHESKA went orange, AIMEE kept her strands black, TOMIE dyed it platinum blonde, JEANNE went towards red, and VIVA shocked everyone by going SILVER!

STUPID CUPID received two wins during this era, which was unexpected because it was only an english single, yet fans managed to surprise themselves despite being the ones voting for them!

NEW DANCE was confirmed to be only an english release, yet fans can't help but beg for a korean version and possibly for it to be included in the group's future release!

twitter reactions.

many of the responses were positive; however, there would be one or two hate comments, which were buried with STCP fancams relatively quickly.

some of the CHERUBS never expected the group to release a single such as this, but were not complaining because it only showed that STCP can do every concept people throw at them!

these are only some reactions from the CHERUB twitter:

era style.

#ficnetfairy #⩩ ♡⃗ heart attack .ᐟ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 〳 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ tunes ‵#kpop oc #kpop au #fictional idol group #fake kpop group #fictional oc community #kpopfanfic #idol oc #idolverse

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farmerlarrry · 1 year ago

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Orange Slices (Joel Miller x f!reader)

masterlist | chapter fourteen | chapter thirteen| read on ao3 | playlist

story summary: A story about finding companionship and love in the midst of chaos.

a/n: Short–er chapter than usual, but the last few larger chapters completely turned my brain into mush lol and needed a little bit of fluff to cleanse my palate. The last bit was heavily inspired by the song “Wondering Why” by The Red Clay Strays, so shout out to all the people on tiktok for saying this is the perfect song to slow dance to, ily! I hope you are all having a lovely start to December! Stay safe!! :)

word count: 5982

if you want to be notified when I post new chapters, follow @farmerlarrrylibrary and put on notifications! If you'd rather be tagged, just let me know.

Chapter Fifteen

Neither you nor Joel spoke of that night in the weeks that followed. Although left unspoken, what almost happened never left your thoughts. Every waking moment, whether you were with Joel or not, it consumed every part of you, oftentimes leaving you wondering if you’d ever get a chance like that again. You were sure it consumed Joel as well. He was still the same man as before, but something very subtly changed. The way he treats you and looks at you– something was different behind those complex eyes, something deep down. It was almost as if he’d gone soft on you, but was desperately trying to hide the fact, probably a way to try and protect himself. If that was the case, you understood why.

There was a small part of you that felt embarrassed about that night, your feelings had been put on full display, something that you didn’t think Joel was aware of up until that point. His had been too, which made you wonder if he was embarrassed about it as well– if he regretted revealing that part of him–and perhaps that’s why nothing had been said by him. Every time that thought resurfaced, it nearly sent you into a panic.

You kept having to reassure yourself, knowing him, if he had regretted it, things would not have stayed so… normal between the two of you. Joel still stops by your place in the morning, the two of you sharing breakfast and coffee before heading out for patrol. If anything, the two of you began spending more time together. On the nights you aren’t at Charles’, you and Joel spend together. Tommy would sometimes join, but when Nessa found out about it all of a sudden she needed Tommy home more.

Although you told yourself that you’d stop drinking, it was the one thing you and Joel often did together. Wake up, patrol, drink… you had a nearly permanent headache, but for you, it was a small price to pay. You were finally content with the life you’ve created, even happy at times.

James had been avoiding you since that day too. You truly intended to talk to him, not that what you’d say would make things any better, but you at least owed that to him; an explanation. Of the many times you tried, he’d either leave as soon as you were within a 20-foot radius of him and the times you caught him off guard, he’d simply walk away without a word or look directed at you. You missed your chance to talk to James, missed the opportunity when it actually counted, and would come off as genuine.

You thought of maybe writing him a letter, leaving it on his doorstep or with Charles to pass it on to him– that way you’d know for certain he got it, whether he ended up reading it or ripping it to shreds; at least you would know that you tried. Ultimately, the thought seemed insincere and cringe, so you decided just to let things be.

The remnants of your actions haunted you enough as it is. Between the dirty looks you received from Heather and Aimee, the cold shoulder treatment you received from Nessa, and Dottie constantly asking why you and James never come over together anymore– you felt like all that was punishment enough.

“Why don’t you and James ever come over together anymore,” Dottie often asked some variation of this question crossing her arms and furrowing her brows.

With Charles grimacing in the background, pretending as if he doesn’t hear, you’d return Dott’s curiosity with your own variation of answers– our schedules don’t line up anymore, he’s busy tonight, I was busy with… You wondered if she pressed James about it every time he came over, wondering what he said in response.

Your actions followed you wherever you went, the only time you had real peace was when you were either alone at home, or when you were out on patrol with Joel with no one else around. The constant stares you received from the other guards around your age left you wondering who had been running their mouths and how much of it was actually the truth.

Jackson reminded you much of the small town you were from, at least from what little you remember of it. The sense of a close-knit community, for the most part, you could rely on each other, but when it came to the gossip… Everyone took what they heard as fact and had no issues spreading it around.

–

The night after you and Charles spoke in the isolated corner of Jackson BBQ, you went over to his house for dinner as planned. A nervousness fisted your stomach, making it twist and turn with every hesitant step you took toward his house. You wondered if James would be there; if Charles had told him of your company that night–

Unsurprisingly, James had not come. You weren’t quite sure if you were relieved by this or if some part of you had wished had shown up.

After the excitement of your company had settled and Dottie and Henry went to sleep, you and Charles sat in his study like the two of you used to do. Most of the time spent had been in silence, but you knew Charles had something to say. His face clearly indicated he was biting his tongue, forcing himself to swallow whatever words that had been filling his mouth, remaining unspoken.

“James is a good boy, you know,” He finally spoke, his words coming out calm but a feeling of heat behind them lingered after the room returned to silence. You let out a huff of air. “He’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

All you could do was nod; a nod with no meaning other than you didn’t want to leave what he said unacknowledged. What you really wanted to do at the moment was roll your eyes, and if it had been anyone other than Charles initiating this conversation, perhaps you would have.

“And,” His voice shook as if he was unsure whether to continue, smacking his lips and taking a moment to ponder on his thoughts. You watched him carefully out of the corner of your eye, your body slumped in the firm sofa chair. You tapped your fingers along your thigh as you waited for him to continue. “Joel, he’s–”

At the sound of his name, you shot up from out of your chair before he could finish, beginning to take long strides toward the front door. Whatever he was going to say about Joel, you didn’t want to hear it. You endured the nasty comments from everyone too often, biting your tongue when all you wanted to do was shoot something nasty back at them. You wouldn’t hear it from Charles.

As you opened the door, Charles came up from behind you, pushing his palm against the door causing it to slam shut. The sound vibrated through the house leaving Charles cringing and eyeing the children’s bedrooms. Although your hand remained on the doorknob, you hadn’t tried to open it again, standing still while your breathing became messy, your chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Joel’s a fine man too,” Charles’ voice was dark as he spoke, but he was quick to release the words. His statement slightly caught you off guard, forcing you to face him slowly. You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eye and instead settled on staring at his shoes. “A lot of people here don’t get him and that’s– it is what it is, but he's a good man. He cares and a lot of people don’t nowadays.”

You felt as if you were stripped bare, your mind and soul naked and completely vulnerable. All you could do was stare at the ground, how the shadow of Charles’ shoes met the raw grain of the wood and the gaps between each plank leading to an abyss of darkness. You couldn’t bring yourself to move, your shoulders tensing up to the point of pain.

“Why are you telling me this?” Your voice was small. Putting his arm on your shoulder, Charles guided you over to the couch. The two of you took a seat in unison.

“James told me his… suspicious the day Joel came back, and then you were wearing Joel’s shirt at dinner– let me finish,” His voice was calm, soothing your panic. You tried to butt in, demanding to know whatever James told him, but Charles made you listen. “As I told you before, I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I’ll offer you my thoughts, you can take them as they are.”

Taking a moment to calm yourself, you nodded, urging him to continue. In, out, in… you guided yourself, the stuffy warm air barely doing anything to ease your breathing.

“Regardless of going about it the wrong way, you’re allowed to feel that way– you aren’t… you don’t belong to anyone,” He finally spoke, the reassurance running through you like a sip of cold water on a hot summer day.

“I fucked up Charles,” You stated simply. “I should’ve– I should have actually talked to James, but Joel came back and– and–” You shook your head, coming to a loss for words, “I didn’t know if Joel would feel the same, and talking about it to anyone was just too much. I– I don’t know. I thought I liked James, I really did, but when I saw Joel– and my heart, I just felt–”

The words rushed out of your mouth, you weren’t sure if any of it made sense. Charles nodded as he listened, though you weren’t sure he quite understood. You shrugged to signal you were out of words, left with nothing else to say as your breathing turned to shallow sharp inhales. Charles grabbed your hand, holding it in his, and ran soft strokes along your knuckles. You stared at your conjoined hands as he continued, it reminded you of your father, and how he used to calm you when you were in a panic.

“Does Joel feel the same way?” Charles’ voice was monotonous when he asked. Forcing yourself to look up at him, you swallowed against the lump in your throat.

“Wha– what?” You narrowed your eyes at him, confused. Your heart began to beat wildly in your chest.

“You said you didn’t know if Joel would feel the same way,” he quickly responded, a hint of confusion gleaming in his eyes.

You brought in your bottom lip tugging on it continuously between your teeth as flashbacks from the previous night poured in. You hadn’t realized your wording, you should’ve been more careful.

“I don’t know,” you quickly correct yourself. You weren’t entirely wrong, for all you knew last night was just… you let out a soft sigh at your own thoughts. “I don’t know if he does.”

A silence fell between the two of you and you became too aware of the soft ticking of the wall clock. Tick, tick, tick. It sounded loud in your ears, your eardrums seizing on each tick.

“Let me talk to James, okay?” he finally said. A weight instantly released from your tense shoulders, the lingering headache disappearing in an instant. Coward, a voice whispered to you, but you ignored it–at least tried to ignore it.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” A heat washed over your face, your body folding in on itself, “about Joel, that is.”

–

On this particular night, after a long day’s journey to an abandoned ranch and back, you and Joel found yourselves at The Tipsy Bison, tucked in the corner taking in drink after drink and going back and forth between playing billiards and darts.

The bartender for the night apparently was not very happy with how rowdy the two of you became over who won and who lost as well as how riled up you made some of the other guests for the night, to which he sent over Nora– out of everyone, her? You rolled your eyes, knowing she would likely report this back to James– to tell you it was time to wrap things up and go elsewhere.

“Yours or mine?” Joel asked without fully clarifying what he meant, he knew you would know what he was asking. You jogged the few feet that separated the two of you, nearly tripping over your own feet before slowing down as he pushed against the door with his back and held it open for you.

You took a moment to think as you stumbled out onto the porch, your hand lightly finding his wrist to grab onto for a short moment to keep you steady. He waited for your answer, slowly taking a few steps down, his torso angled towards you. You were humming softly to yourself as you sort through your thoughts, which were a blur even to you given your state.

“Probably yours, because–” you started to say but stopped yourself mid-sentence. Joel completely turned his body to face you, now slowly walking backward in front of you. His face twisted in confusion. “Actually, I know a place we can go to.”

Joel cocked his head waiting for you to reveal the location.

The abandoned building.

–

The entire walk you were hoping to whatever higher power there was that the others weren’t there. You didn’t see them at the bar so that didn’t leave many other places they could be. You knew that Drew and James were both due to go out for an overnight run sometime this week to Teton Valley, but that still left Heather, Aimee, and Nessa unaccounted for. They wouldn’t go out there, not without James or Drew, you kept telling yourself–reassuring yourself–of the fact that the three girls were a bit wary of how far away the building was from the main part of the community, regardless of the safety each guard ensured as a priority.

It wasn’t a quick walk by any means. You had to walk past the cemetery and greenhouses to where a field lay bare. In recent months, Maria has tasked some of the community members to turn half of it into more farmland and the other half left to expand the greenhouses, but the work efforts have been slow, especially with the urgent help with harvesting.

Past the field where the trees stand dense, there is a pathway, easily missed if you don’t know what you’re looking for. That pathway leads to the building and about a hundred yards past the building was the fencing that kept Jackson contained.

Although it was hidden away from the community and not used for anything in particular, many of the guards as well as Maria and Tommy knew about it. No one ever explicitly said not to go to it, but many of those who knew about it seem to forget about it which is how it became the go to hang out spot for you and the others. It offered a sense of secrecy with safety and was far enough from the main parts of Jackson where you never had to worry about being too loud.

The darkness crawled at your skin and a feeling of being watched hovered around you which seemed to help you sober up. Joel was behind you, only a few feet separating you from him. Occasionally you’d peer over your shoulder, mainly to make sure he was still there, in case you needed him for some reason. You could tell, even in the darkness, he was a bit hesitant about following you.

“Where’re we goin’?” Joel asked for the fifth time as you passed the cemetery, each time he asked his tone became less and less patient. Regardless of his tone, the sound of his voice sent a calming effect to run its course through your body, settling your churning insides.

“You don’t like surprises huh?” A faint smile formed as the breathy words came out of your mouth. It amused you to see him like this; fidgety like he had ants in his pants.

“No, not–” His voice conveyed to you that he was very clearly annoyed. You let out an overdramatic sigh which immediately shut him up.

“You’re no fun,” You turned your body to look at him, narrowing your eyes at him as you stopped walking. He only stopped when there was about a foot separating the two of you.

“Fun enough for you to spend your nights with me ‘parently,” he spat back almost immediately, a bit of humor and amusement lingering in his tone. As much as you wanted to fire back at him, you ignored his comment and started to slowly continue down the field. You could almost make out the details of the trees even in the darkness, meaning you were almost there.

“Remember how I told you I would hang out with Nessa and her friends?” he nodded, falling into step right next to you. You paused before continuing, “I’m taking you to where we used to go.”

“And if they’re there?” The words rushed out of his mouth. The thought made a sense of anxiety fill your chest.

“I think Drew and James are gone, but if the other three are there, then… we’ll find somewhere else to go.” You tried to steady your voice as you spoke. The thought of them seeing the two of you together, especially seeing you and Joel go to a place that’s so… secluded, did not settle well in your gut.

When Joel didn’t answer, you looked up at his face. His lips were set in a thin, tight line and his eyes were hardened, locked on the gravel crunching beneath his boots with each heavy step. You pinned your eyebrows together, is he anxious? Anxious that they will be there, that they’ll see us, or anxious that it will just be us?

You took one step to the side closer to him and gently knocked your elbow against Joel’s arm, catching his attention. His eyes widened as if he had been lost in some sort of mind-consuming thought.

“Okay?” You asked, desperate for some sort of reassurance that he was okay and this was okay.

He gave you a single nod, his body remaining tense.

–

The lights weren’t on when you arrived at the crumbling building, a shadow of blackness surrounded it. Regardless of the fact, you still slowly peeked your head inside to make sure no one had been in there before trying the switch to illuminate the dark room. Even though they didn’t come on, you still flipped the switch a few more times, desperately hoping you wouldn’t have to go in blind. The building was relatively safe, but the dark still gave you the chills–the thought of something hiding, waiting to grab you– the fear still haunted you.

You let out a loud sigh.

“The generator is a bit finicky,” you said plainly. The many memories of Drew kicking at it and cursing under his breath immediately resurfaced.

“Sure it’s safe?” he asked as he poked his head past the threshold of the door. Joel gently grabbed onto your bicep as he continued to survey the vast darkness of the building. His concern provoked a small breathy laugh from you.

“Let’s hope,” you responded, half serious. Joel let out a throaty hum, not coming off as too enthusiastic.

Joel followed closely behind you as you entered.

–

You finally managed to get the generator that James somehow managed to get many moons ago to turn on and went around to the various outlets to plug in the string lights. Joel slowly walked around the perimeter of the room with his hands clasped behind his back, running his eyes along the walls filled with posters and pictures the gang had once put up, looking at the furniture all of you managed to take from the donation center somehow unnoticed or from the few homes that remained unoccupied. Though you were never on the best terms with most of them, a lot of memories had been created in this very room–times of peace and ease. Showing him this place must have felt almost as vulnerable as it must have felt for him showing you his spot. An ache began to develop deep in your chest. You let out a deep sigh, letting the ache escape into the air.

His eyes lingered for a good while on a section of the wall that had been solely dedicated to the Polaroid pictures that had been taken on the nights spent here. Bringing his fingers up to one that was stuck at an angle beneath another picture, he pulled it loose. From your quick glance across the room, you didn’t have to be next to him to know that it was the picture of you and James.

James had both of his hands covering your eyes, a wide grin spread across his face. You had your hands wrapped around his wrists, your knuckles white as you tried to tear them away from your face. The longer you thought about it, you could have sworn you could hear yours and James’ overlapping giggles, Nessa yelling out ‘cheese’ before pressing down the shutter button. The ache formed once again, this time spreading from your chest to the pit of your stomach.

Without saying anything, barely provoking any sort of reaction from him, Joel turned and set it down on one of the side tables. As the picture left the tips of his fingers, his attention was immediately shifted elsewhere. Joel picked up one of the records from the stack piled on one of the small side tables, taking a seat on the worn and faded brown couch.

The distraction allowed you to swiftly sweep past the table, picking up the photo and slipping it into your back pocket to be discarded eventually.

You came up to Joel’s side. Using the back of the wooden chair next to him to keep you stable, you bent over the side of the couch to the corner where the last string of light’s plug hung free from the outlet. The heat of his body clung to the back of your cold limbs and you leaned in, closing the distance between the two of you. Joel cleared his throat awkwardly, the sound startling you and causing you to fumble the plug, making it fall behind the couch.

‘Sorry,” your voice was muffled as you reached your hand into the darkness, feeling around for the plug. A heat began to burn in your cheeks, spreading down to your chest, as you realized why Joel cleared his throat. You practically pinned him against the edge of the couch with your ass in his face.

You began to move faster, your fingers becoming tangled with the cord as you pushed it firmly into the plug. A small wheeze came from him as you straightened yourself, retreating a step back.

“Sorry,” The words were now barely above a whisper. You raised your eyebrows, widening your eyes at him as you try to remain as neutral as possible. His eyebrows twitched as he finally brought himself to look up at you. You could have sworn his eyes glazed over the entirety of your body before eventually meeting your eyes.

“Where’d you get these?” His voice was tight, guilty sounding as he changed the subject.

“Drew gets them when he goes into the cities outside of Jackson,” you responded, taking one step closer towards Joel, peering around his arm in the narrow space at the record he had been holding onto. “Most of them aren’t very good, but he picks up what he can find– I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

He nodded very subtly, pinning his brows together as he flipped the record over, looking at the songs listed on the backside.

“And the player?” He questioned further. Joel must have heard the hitch in your breath with the look he gave you in return to which you turned on your heel, heading toward the couch sitting opposite from where Joel was.

“It was James’ father’s at one point,” You responded dryly, slightly cringing as you remembered how serious James was the night he brought it, making sure everyone– especially Drew– knew if it broke, there would be serious consequences. Joel said nothing in response, just going back to sifting through the various records.

The vibe completely changed from the time you left the bar to now–an odd sense of intimacy lingered heavily in the room. You needed a drink, just one to shake off this sudden awareness.

Your eyes swept the room, landing on the old dented filing cabinet tucked next to the door. It was where the group kept all the alcohol each of you had been able to scrounge up as well as the collection of unmatching glasses that sat upon a tea cloth on the top. The filing cabinet was simply for safekeeping, you were desperately hoping that it hadn’t been emptied since the last time you were there.

The broken handle was cold on your fingertips as you pulled on it. The drawer did not budge and you rolled your eyes, fully taking a seat on the ground so the top drawer was now eye level. You curse softly under your breath. Of course one of them would keep it locked up– probably Drew… greedy bastard, you thought.

You never noticed anyone locking it before, but then again, you had never paid that close attention–you didn’t need to. Running your fingers over the metal latches and then over the face of the lock, you pinned your eyebrows together. You’ve worked with this kind of lock many times before when you were still out on your own. They weren’t complicated locks, low security if anything due to them having a universal one-pronged key amongst this type.

Without any further thought, you pulled the small knife out of your pocket and flipped it open, ramming the tip into the keyhole. If you could just get it at the correct angle, it should just pop open. You didn’t care if the others knew someone had been in here.

With a bit of jiggling, the shackle popped loose causing the corners of your lips to twitch slightly into a smile. Your eyes went wide as you opened the drawer–there was just as much, if not more than the last time you saw it.

Rising back onto your feet, you look over your shoulder back at Joel who was still fully occupied by the record collection. His face was stuck in a deep sense of concentration.

Picking a bottle at random, you turned to face Joel shaking the bottle. The sound of the liquid sloshing against the sides and lapping over itself seemed to catch his attention as he snapped his head up, looking in your direction through his brows.

“Want some?” you offered when he didn’t say anything, jutting the bottle out toward him. He narrowed his eyes, trying to look at the label– contemplating– before shaking his head and returning his attention back to the records. You simply shrugged before turning back around, flipping over one of the various drinking glasses on the top of the cabinet, and began to pour a generous amount.

You kicked your feet at the concrete ground, dust and dirt dancing through the air, as you slowly made your way over to the other couch that sat across from the one Joel was currently settled on. Laying the entire length of your body sideways on the couch and resting your head on the padded armrest, you closed your eyes– just for a moment, you told yourself– holding your drink on your stomach with one hand and the other playing with the edge of one of the cushions where the stuffing began to leak out.

When you opened your eyes, Joel was leaning over, placing one of the many records onto the platter of the player. Gently he let the needle fall onto the edge and pressed the button to turn it on. Music softly filled the room, the sound emitting from the speakers sounded muffled and scratchy, yet comforting and nostalgic.

As Joel returned to his spot, leaning into the back cushion and widening his grin that didn’t quite reach his eyes, you caught his attention. Holding his gaze, you sat upright, downing the rest of your drink and resting the glass on the ground.

“What?” He asked as you flashed him a toothy smile, your lips spreading thinly across your face as the corners reached your eyes and the second wave of alcohol hit your bloodstream.

–

The music began to flow through your veins, your body swaying without any coherent thought running through your mind. Spreading your arms out at your sides, you began to spin slowly and your body began to feel weightless; your surroundings and Joel blurring together with each turn. The air running over your skin made goosebumps dance up your arms and you let out a small giggle. You felt so free… so loose… so… happy. You felt like the person you had once been a long, long time ago.

Slowing your spin to a stop, you quickly became dizzy as you came to your senses, your brain struggling to comprehend that you were no longer going in circles. With the alcohol in your system, it made your body’s reaction twice as clumsy. Joel was watching you carefully, a small smile on his face, and appeared to be very amused by you. You began to tumble to the side, the opposite direction of any sort of furniture to stabilize yourself, as your feet tangled together. Joel lunged from his sitting position for you, looping one hand around your back, the other grasping onto your bicep.

“Woah,” The noise came out of you in a breathy whisper as the falling sensation subsided. Joel’s eyes were soft in the dim lighting of the room, the light reflecting off of his dark and ever-tired eyes.

As he helped you back up to the stability of your feet, he kept hold of your shoulders. You could feel his fingers gently but firmly pressing into your skin making your heart skip a few beats. Through your still semi-blurred vision, you make eye contact with Joel, who is steadily holding onto your gaze. His face, complex as usual, leaves you completely in the dark about what might be running through his mind. The look in his eyes took you back to that night.

You softly ran your hands up along his arm until you reached his biceps, hesitating to curl your fingers around them. Dropping your gaze from his, you run your fingers along his worn flannel, the fabric is soft under the tips. All you can focus on at the moment is the feeling of the fabric between your fingers and the warmth that radiates from underneath. Joel has yet to move a muscle since you returned his gesture, though you were almost positive you could hear the beating of his heart– deep and wild.

Slowly moving your eyes along his chest to the skin peaking out where the top few buttons were undone–his chest hair poking through– up along his neck and into his eyes. Something changed from a few moments prior, from early this evening. Your breath hitches as his throat bobs and his tongue darts between his lips.

As you began to part your lips, trying to find any words to say, Joel very slowly ran one of his hands up your back, finding a home at the base of your neck where skin meets hair. Very softly he ran his thumb over your hairline, over and over. He was looking at you, but it felt like his gaze had been deeper– deeper than whatever he saw on the surface.

“I haven’t heard this song in a very long time,” His voice was quiet but hoarse, rattling low. You had to force yourself to swallow, your mouth and throat growing drier by the second.

Before you could muster up a response– even a reaction– Joel gently pulled your head into his chest. You didn’t protest, you would let him do whatever he wanted to you at this moment. His hand lingered at the base of your neck with your ear flush against his chest. Still, he softly ran his finger along your hairline causing a chill to make its way down your spine. Your heart felt as if it were beating outside of your chest and you noticed how deeply and fast Joel’s was beating in unison.

Joel took the lead as the two of you began to sway your bodies in unison, simply shifting your weight between each foot, very slowly turning in a circle. With your arms loosely wrapped around his torso, you began to run the fabric between your index finger and thumb again. This is the moment you’ve been craving since you were left on your own at the beginning of the outbreak– a sense of safety, a sense of companionship, anything other than the loneliness that rotted inside your heart for far too long– always too afraid to admit it, too afraid to get close to anyone for the next day is never promised. Sure, you caved into the intimacy of physical touch, but emotionally… you’ve never let yourself cave into that. But Joel… Joel was different. This was different.

The longer the music went on, transitioning from one song to another, a calmness settled between the two of you, your bodies melting into one another becoming one. You hadn’t dared to move your head, afraid that he’d let go of you entirely if you moved even just a bit; afraid that this moment would end sooner than you desired.

As the record player sputtered to a stop, the music abruptly leaving the room empty and silent, you and Joel remained together, swaying back and forth. Joel’s heartbeat returned to a steady, comforting beat. He flattened his palms against your back as a way to tell you, don’t let go– not yet. So you didn't, you would remain in his arms until he was ready to let go.

Without creating any distance between your bodies, you shift your head to look up at him, your chin firmly pressed against the bare part of his chest. He angled his head just right so he could look down at you. For a moment all you and Joel could do is stare at each other, as if the two of you haven’t stolen enough glances in the time you’ve known each other. Joel’s bottom lip was full of color and slightly swollen as if he had been chewing on it. You blinked a few times to bring yourself to the present moment.

“I missed you,” The words flowed out of you before you could think of what the consequences of admitting that would be. In the moment it felt right, you felt safe enough to admit that to him and you wanted him to know.

His face was set in stone, but a glimmer of something appeared in his eye and his shoulders appeared to relax as he slowly exhaled. It seemed like he didn't know what to say back. You didn’t care if he felt the same way if he missed you or even cared for you the way you do for him. All that mattered was that he knew someone had missed him, that his absence here mattered to you.

“You’re the only person who makes me feel sane,” You followed up in a whisper, returning the side of your face to his chest and tightening your arms around him. His heart rate picked up once again– deep and wild.

read chapter sixteen here!

painting divider | credit: @cottage-writings

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mindibindi · 1 year ago

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SEX EDUCATION FINAL SEASON: If There Was Orgasm, Then I Missed It.... 🍆💦🍑🍌👅🍌🍒🔥😏

The final season was good. It was not great. It was not everything I wanted it to be. It would’ve been a satisfying enough season if it had not been the last. And I acknowledge that it’s difficult to write a satisfying final season to such a popular, ground-breaking show. That said, here are few thoughts on the final season of “Sex Education”. Some came. Most didn't. Not Moordale: It took guts to do away with the old school and transplant the characters into a new environment. This was an interesting experiment which centred what had previously been marginalised and drove the progressive politics of the show further forward than they perhaps could’ve done in their old, more traditional, more repressed surroundings. (I liked that Otis and Maeve revisted Moordale Secondary tho). All the new characters were great, but then this show has always done a great job of finding interesting actors that seem to bring a level of freshness to their roles. Well done to the casting director. Props for the popular kids being two trans cuties who are having sex and issues in their sex life. Seeing Eric in his queer element was great. There was better disability inclusion, but the writing felt a little clunky and preachy at times, as this show is wont. And obviously we lost a few characters in the shuffle. Lily was the one I missed most. She would have loved Cavendish.

Aimee and Ruby: In terms of the young cast, the most satisfying storylines for me were Aimee’s and Ruby’s. When Aimee and Isaac began to connect, I was like: Yes, go there, do THAT. Maeve coming round in the end and realising that they're family was nice. Loved Aimee getting closure with her jeans thru art. Also liked the further fleshing out of Ruby’s backstory and her journey towards gaining popularity through being kind(er).

Eric: My least fave storyline was Eric’s whole religious epiphany thing. I liked that he found a fellow christian with whom he could share his conflicted feelings about being both queer and god-loving, but I’m not into organised religion or religion of any kind really (as is my right after being raised in it). I don’t believe in god so I don’t believe in divine signs. I don’t think they broke the reality of the show as such, but they were a bit obtuse and boring. I think when Eric spoke in church, his mum should’ve said she loved him as he is, his sisters (who've been supportive in the past) should have done the same, and they should have all left the church together. I think them all coming to the fundraiser later was super trite. It looked like a hasty way to wrap up that storyline after Eric left to rescue Cal. I also think that religions in general have to do way more than make placating noises, so having Eric enter into one was not my idea of a happy ending for him.

I think a better storyline for Eric, based on his history of being pulled in different directions by attractions to more than one person, would have been to discover polyamory. We had one polyamorous couple in the mix this season but it was mentioned once and they appeared together maybe twice. I think it would have been more in tune with the show for Eric to realise that traditional monogamy didn’t suit him and start seeking partners that would celebrate him in exploring ethical non-monogamy. Then we could have had an inside look at how that works for poly peeps, how people navigate less traditional sex and relationship models, what comes up for them mentally, emotionally, sexually, socially etc. In my opinion, the religion stuff just closes down possibility for this character, puts him in a box that the show admits is problematic. I would have preferred to see him open up to more possibility than any church can provide.

Adam and Fam: I liked the whole move into horses thing, liked that he became a teacher like his dad. It felt a little not-fleshed-out tho. It felt like the start of a new life for him, but just the start, with a long way still to go, which is kind of fine. That character does have a lot to learn and heal and these things take time. It would’ve been good to see him interact with some kids, maybe see how he treats a young boy differently to his father (maybe horse girl coulda had a son?). I’m not entirely sure about rehabilitating bullies/abusive parents. In my experience, it doesn’t happen but I recognise that this show is working with ideals, with the question: “what if we did sex and relationships better?” As such, I think they did a beautiful job of reconnecting father and son. It helps that both actors are so good at playing awkward masculinity. One awkward hug does not solve years of abuse and neglect but it was a start, I suppose. Horse girl was nice enough. When Adam admitted to being bisexual, I kinda wanted her to say: “Oh yeah, me too.” Because otherwise, she was just kinda there, emblematic of possibility. Adam should’ve moved into the farmhouse as a boarder, and Maureen should have moved some new boyfriend in. The parents should NOT have got back together. Hard nope. Some relationships end, and this was one that should’ve. Maureen should have continued her sexual exploration, maybe got into burlesque or BDSM. The dad should have had a hot affair with the art teacher (who should’ve been less of a ridiculous middle-aged man-eating woman cliche), or better yet, the home ec teacher. Bring food into sex.

Cal: Gender dysphoria distress is not something I have personal experience with so I would be interested to hear what people who do thought of this storyline. I was up for it but, if I’m honest, I can’t say I’m any more enlightened on what it feels like or what I should do for someone in similar circumstances. Though I like them, I think this is in part due to a lack of range in the actor playing Cal. I can say that the scene where they are by the ravine feeling suicidal meant a lot to me personally, cos I do have experience with that. (Jackson shoulda figured out where they were sooner tho).

Jackson: Didn’t love Jackson or Viv’s storylines. Jackson’s whole history was established way back and I NEVER appreciate when shows walk that back and go: “oh no it actually happened this way.” His whole swimming thing was cos Hannah Waddingham’s character was anxious about them having a connection but if he is the result of a previous relationship and her partner was already pregnant when they met then that changes that whole dynamic. Her insecurity makes more sense, is more intense, if having a child is a decision his mums take on together. Great to explore a scenario in which Jackson seeks out his biological roots but I don’t think he needed the extra trauma of two lying mums and an uncaring biological father. They should’ve stuck with the original context, there was enough shit there to sort out. Nice to see HWad’s in the mix, even if she only had two lines (but she’s super busy and big now so that’s probs why). I notice that all the previous acrimony between the mums has disappeared. So no therapy. No Jackson dealing with divorce. And no Hannah Waddingham having an affair with Gillian Anderson. So yeah, pretty disappointing all round.

Viv: Friendships are important but I kinda thought Jackson and Viv would’ve made a good couple…? Viv’s storyline was good for a teachable moment on coercion but not much else. Also I don’t think the boyfriend needed to grab her so hard. It doesn’t need to be hard to be scary and wrong.

Maeve: I liked how they brought Maeve home then sent her back, which was absolutely the right thing for her. Dan Levy was great and, again, the scene where she confronts him about being gate-keepery meant a lot to me personally, as a low-SES student at University. The stuff with the brother was all v. well-written and acted, although they seemed to forget about lil sis pretty quickly. Liked everyone showing up for the funeral, esp. the old Moordale teachers. The song was a def. highlight of the season. We also got some closure for Maeve/Isaac and Eric/Adam. Otis was, of course, a dick throughout but awkward lovable dickhead is kinda his brand. The climactic sex scene with Otis and Maeve was okay. Top marks for playing Jeff Buckley who was a big part of my high school experience. I wasn't as weirded out by it as I thought I might be (mostly cos I remember Asa Butterfeild from "Ashes to Ashes"). But jeez, for a show on sex, they don’t give a lot of time to foreplay, do they? IMPORTANT PSA for het dudes of all ages: DO NOT expect to be inside a girl/woman 10 seconds after kissing her. Maeve interacting with Jean was another highlight, but I would’ve liked a final call/text between Otis and Maeve, rather than leaving them both staring out windows thinking of the other. (On the other hand, totally get people who were for an Otis/Ruby endgame).

Jean: Okay, so I like this show as a whole but one of the major reasons I watch is for The Gillian. Jean Milburn is another in a long line of her iconic characters. So on the positive side: I actually liked the sister storyline. I have a sister and that felt appropriately intimate/infuriating. And they finally cast someone who actually could conceivably be related to Gillian Anderson (unlike “The Great”, “Crisis” and even Melissa in “The X Files”). GA has very unusual facial features but these two looked alike, got the dynamic right, and the backstory illuminated Jean a little more for us. I kinda missed overconfident, fashionable Jean, but hey, when you have Gillian Anderson, you’re gonna use her, right? I don’t know postpartum depression but I know depression and that felt real to me. Beautiful job, as always from GA. The relationship with Otis followed a similar rocky trajectory to other seasons and was as well-played as always by both, even if it yielded little in the way of growth. It did annoy me that Otis was like: “we need help” but then he barely acknowledged Joy when they were in the same room. My brother has just had a baby and whenever anyone walks in the room, it is ALL ABOUT the baby: talking to the baby, talking about the baby, holding the baby, playing with the baby…. So I was like: Otis! Pick up the baby! Cuddle your sister! (Being ignored in favour of the baby could also have heightened mum’s PPD. And how about modelling a young man participating, even minimally, in child-rearing, dear show??). The radio/podcast stuff was fine. As an Aussie, I was delighted to see Hannah Gadsby in the mix. People may not know this but she is a comedian, not an actor, so I loved seeing her do such a great job. Loved seeing her interact with Gillian so much, and looking fab too. Gillian also looked gorgeous, even while falling apart, and more so as her medication started to kick in. I say this just cos I like seeing women onscreen looking their age.

The biggest disappointment here was the disappearance of Jakob and the disintegration of that relationship (which had a lot more going for it than Adam’s parents). I don’t know if the actor was unavailable or if this was just the direction they chose but I missed both Jakob and Ola. If they were going to write them out tho, I do think it was better to have them gone before the show began. I didn’t wanna see that breakdown. They’d already introduced some elements into this relationship that weren’t necessary, imo. I don’t think they needed to make Jakob’s dead wife unfaithful. I think illness, death, single dadhood and late-in-life love is quite enough to deal with, esp. considering the limited screen time they had. I also don’t think they needed the overly hasty move-in, which seemed to me like a totally rookie mistake for a sex and relationships therapist to make. Of course that was not going to work! Otis and Ola being needlessly stroppy was likewise unhelpful for what could have been a joyous, sexy mature-aged romance. They placed all these unnecessary stresses on this relationship in order to force it to fail, the final stress being the paternity of Jean’s child, which, if they hadn’t introduced Jakob’s dead wife’s unfaithfulness might not have been such a huge deal, he might have been able to stick around and raise a child not biologically his (he already had two of those). I personally didn’t like what it did to his character either, since he initially seemed like such an open, honest, easy, considerate, responsible, mature, big-hearted kind of man. Was this their idea of giving him layers? Why did they have to turn the ONE good grown man in the show into a petty, bitter, suspicious little coward?

There was so much potential in the Jean/Jakob relationship and the problem with introducing so many new elements in a final season is that you risk not wrapping up some of the core elements you began with. Like Eric, Jean’s final season doesn’t really match her trajectory throughout the series. When we met her, she was having a lovely time having lots of casual sex but no relationships. Which is fine, except that her reasons for doing so were more to do with hurt and avoidance than with pure sexual expression and honest personal preference. She was still reacting to the disintegration of her marriage and the infidelity/promiscuity of her ex-husband (so to have her left for supposed infidelity/promiscuity seems again needlessly cruel). She was afraid of further heartbreak and, thru her relationship with Jakob, began to overcome that fear. While the PPD and Joanne storylines were solid, illuminating and enjoyable, they did not contribute to resolving the core issue Jean initially presented with. With Jakob, Jean was starting to ask herself: ‘’how do I trust again after being devastated by the infidelity of my son’s father?”, “how do I let go when I can’t control every outcome, aspect and possibility?”, “how do I live with someone again after living alone for so long?” Oddly enough separate residences never seemed to occur to anyone on this super progressive, groundbreaking show. Or you know, Ola could have gone off to college and Otis found some opportunity in America, leaving Jean and Jakob to try again in a different context, with different skills and a different spirit. (But personally I would have gone with separate residences for a time).

You could say that Jean’s issues were partially addressed in her relationship with Jo but we all know that familial and intimate relationships are different. Related but different. Jean’s issue was how to combine intimacy, trust, sex, romance and relationship. That can’t be resolved with a sister or a son. It can only be resolved with a romantic/sexual/life partner. Even if Jakob left for a while, I would have liked to see him come back (I wasn’t sure whether he would but it looked increasingly unlikely as the season continued). Otis or Jo could have called him. Or he coulda heard Jean on the radio. In the end, it looked like Jo and Motorcycle Man were going to be a thing so they coulda made a v. weird parenting foursome (which also would’ve helped alleviate Jean’s depression and workload! Look at that!). Now how’s that for an alternative family model? Why have one parent when you can have four (esp. when two of you have already raised kids)? That would have been great for Jean and Jakob (who get a little more time to themselves) and for Jo and Motorcycle Man (who may need some more responsible parents around). It would be good for Ola (who NAMED Joy, let’s not forget) and her sister, and also for Joy to have some loving siblings, since her big bro won’t pick her up and cuddle her.

#sex education #sex ed s4 #spoilers #season finale #gillian anderson #jean milburn #jean x jakob #asa butterfield #otis milburn #ncuti gatwa #eric effiong #emma mackey #maeve wiley #hannah waddingham #kedar williams stirling #dan levy #and a bunch of other people

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commander-erwin-smith · 1 year ago

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Spoilers under the cut for those that haven’t watched season 2 of Sweet Tooth yet. I'm super late making this post because of unfortunate life events but here we go.

Season 2 was really good. I managed to have the energy to watch it upon release and it didn’t take me long to get through. I ended up finishing it only a few days into May.

It was nice to see Gus’s relationship with the other hybrids, though most of them that were there at the end of season 1 obviously were killed off and it’s odd that they forgot about all of them except for Roy. That was a shame. I can’t remember many of the surviving hybrid kids’ names, but the raccoon girl, Tommy Turtle, the bird girl, and the owl (?) girl are my favorites.

I was disappointed that Johnny was killed and I was hoping that General Abbot missed his shot and didn’t hit something vital. I was expecting Johnny to be found and actually help them against Abbot and be the one to kill him. Am I the only one who started shipping Johnny with Rani? I think they would have been a cute couple because it seemed like they maybe were starting to like one another as both he and Adi started going through their own mindset change. I wish Johnny and Rani would have ended up together.

I also started shipping Aimee with Jepperd. I was surprised that they killed her off. I was a bit disappointed, but it makes sense because her role will be Bear's now to fulfill. I was hoping that Aimee would have ended up with Jepperd, but I had a theory that the one Last Men guy lied to him about his family being dead and gave him some random people's bones and that his family was somehow still alive. I figured that Jepperd would find them alive again next season or a later season (which would be more likely), but then Netflix confirmed that Sweet Tooth was canceled after season 3 which sucks because the comics were apparently much longer and they could have made the series longer. Now I feel like Birdie and Jepperd will end up together perhaps.

Bear and Wendy's reunion was very nice. She'll do anything for her sister. Now she has the rest of the hybrids to protect and it will be interesting to see how their life unfolds with Bear. They've all been through so much and deserve happiness.

This brings me next to the Animal Army. I wish they could have gotten more screen time after Tiger had them betray Bear. They were an important organization and deserved more time to shine before they got killed off this season. I was happy that Tiger and Bear were reunited and that she could get her little redemption arc. Tiger died doing the right thing and was able to warn Bear that the Last Men were coming. I wish she could have lived longer.

Also, that teen boy Bear met when she snuck into the Last Men. I've already forgotten his name. I wonder if he survived and if we will see him next season. I feel like he could have been an important piece this season. He could have been one that could have been brainwashed and come to realize that hybrids aren't the bad ones. He could have seen the light if he would have stuck around Bear. They both could have been important to each other's character. I also started shipping them too. I wonder if we will see him next season and if we will get a reunion between them.

Season 3 is going to have a lot of shoes to fill: Gus and Jepperd's journey to find Birdie, Birdie making the cure, whatever Adi will be up to, whatever Rani is up to now that she's off on her own, Bear and the hybrid kids, and the woman who will take over as the villain for season 3. I wonder how they will get everything done in around 12 episodes. Maybe they will make a few movies?? Who knows. I can't wait to see what happens. I enjoyed this series a lot and I don't want to see it end so soon. I'm such a sucker for found family elements.

#sweet tooth #sweet tooth spoilers #sweet tooth netflix #netflix sweet tooth #netflix's sweet tooth

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arthurn9 · 1 month ago

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Opal, Byroden, And a Sense of Mexican/Latino Culture in Exandria

Aimee Carrero is a treasure for bringing Opal to life. She's absolutely my favorite character in EXU, and it's not even close. (That is to say, I love them all, but Opal is just...she's everything. Charismatic, fun to talk to, friendly, a little ditzy and naive, full of herself, show-offy...I could only dream of making PCs like her (and I have tried lol).) And while the character is amazing in and of herself, what she represents actually means so much more to me.

A little backstory. Breaking kayfabe a little here, don't worry, it can still be real to you, damn it, but I am not, in fact, a blue-skinned tiefling with sky blue hair and a silly tail in what some would call "the real world". I'm of Latino descent, specifically Mexican-American, first generation. My parents are from Chihuahua and Durango, Mexico, respectively, and came to the US to make a better life for themselves, finding each other and bringing me into this world in the process. Spanish was my first language, and although it's long since been supplanted by English as my default language, I still speak it enthusiastically when with my family.

I grew up going to fiestas, celebrated several quinceañeras for various cousins and my own sister, went to misa (church service) every Sunday as a good Catholic boy, and took several trips to Mexico over the years to visit grandparents and family.

And at some point, I kind of grew ashamed of that.

Apparently, it's not entirely that uncommon, and kind of understandable. For me, it's hard to say what caused this change in my mentality. It might have been because all around me, everyone spoke English and lived the culture of America (which is a paradox in its own right, considering the hodgepodge of culture that is America). Maybe it was leftover resentment from being put into basic ESL courses in 1st and 2nd grade despite being one of the fastest-learning readers of English in Kindergarten. (I won the limo-pizza party prize from Dominos for reading so many books, damn it!)

Whatever the case, by 6th grade, I was almost exclusively speaking English everywhere, only begrudgingly speaking Spanish when talking to my parents because that's basically all they spoke. I rolled my eyes at things like Pinatas at birthday parties and going to Church (though that might have just been my growing agnosticism). Hell, even my name changed; Arthur is just the Anglicized version of my real name. I'll let you figure that out. And in high school it got really bad. I basically had to take Spanish classes to get back some semblance of speaking the language, and even then I wasn't super happy doing it.

Since then, after maturing a fair amount, I've recovered most of my Spanish speaking ability and patched things up, largely, with my parents. Turns out moving out is all I needed to get the ball rolling! How about that.

Part of that recovery journey has been connecting a bit more over time with my Latino roots. Movies like Coco and Encanto helped recover my interest in a lot of those roots, and I started to more and more gain confidence in those roots. Slowly but surely I started to weave those Mexican roots back into my own storytelling. My favorite Original Characters, Rhys and Uniqua Plateado (from a RWBY AU called AXUR I made with my best friend that I may talk about some day) were deeply entrenched in Mexican/Spanish roots (or the Remnant equivalent of same), with Uniqua in particular deriving her battle style/armor design from both Spanish Flamenco and Mexican Jarabe. More and more of my writing was influenced by the culture of Mexico and the American Southwest.

And then the bomb that is Opal dropped.

To quote Aimee Carrero: "My first question when creating Opal was: 'What’s the Exandria equivalent of Laredo, TX?'"

It turns out that through talking to Matt Mercer, Aabria Iyengar, and creative down at Whitestone Towers (yes I did just make another wrestling joke What Of It), Aimee had created a hub of Exandrian-flavored Mexican culture. Before, Byroden was just a town in the twins' backstory, the site of tragic loss. Now, it was a lively community filled with wonderful cuture, debutant balls, and so much potential.

Because of that inspiration, I was able to finally fill in the gaps for my most beloved player characters' backstories. I was able to find a home for the Cena family, now officially retconned to be their true form: Ex-icans! (please don't shoot me it's a bad name but it's got spirit)

I was able to integrate its culture into my own campaigns. Several prominent Latino wizarding/magic families now live there in my campaigns' version of Exandria. Spanish flows there, and you can visit La Purisima Panaderia for a sweet treat (definitely named for a wonderful Panaderia in my local area that popped one of my players, another Latino native to the area). My main OC family, the Cena's, has a set of triplets among then, two of them (the bitchy, bratty ones) named after two characters from a legendary meme-worthy telenovela (and yes, this was mostly to have one of them spout the funny catchphrase). The third was named for my most beloved Aunt Leticia, who resides in my soul even 13 years after her passing. (Also apparently also named for the protagonist of said telenovela but that was actually a complete accident. Also the elder sister was named for an alias the protagonist of that telenovela takes at one point you know what I'm just gonna say I'm the 6th remake of Betty La Fea and be done with it.)

I was even able to put some of my own mother's heritage in my games! In my version of Byroden, a family owns a toy shop (that has all sorts of cool arcane toys and gadgets). However, its biggest attraction is an arcane doll that supposedly was a human woman at one point...and she sits dormant, celebrated every year by the people of Byroden around the point of Harvest's End. This was inspired by a similar story of a mannequin supposedly created by an embalmed bride-to-be, a legend in Chihuahua.

While I could definitely have done this on my own in some way, having that inspiration come when it did, when my own journey to recover that identity was at its peak, did so much to help show me how cool it could be to integrate that into my storytelling. I'm more excited than ever to implement my roots into my storytelling, and it's all thanks to one cute girl with white hair, a pink jacket, and a penchant for tying good knots. So thank you, Aimee Carrero. Now please bring my girl home, spider mommy is scawy and I don't wanna say goodbye to my giiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllll

also on another note though it's never been properly discussed Vax and Vex are a bit brown canonically and are from Byroden so um....maybeIheadcanonthatWeClaimThemokaybye

#critcal role #exandria unlimited #opal #aimee carrero #byroden #latino culture #mexican culture

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fandomsaligninstories · 10 months ago

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Year One: Lamest Quidditch Match Ever

Chapter List WC: 1,737

1st January, 1992, Wednesday Morning

Violet couldn't believe winter break was already over. She had enjoyed the few weeks back home immensely, despite her parents constant onslaught of questions about her new magical life. She was happy to answer every single one, though, when her parents expressed how proud they were of her and how excited they were that she got to experience this new world.

The train ride back to Hogwarts was quiet enough. She shared a compartment with Hermione, who spent almost the entire ride reading her school books, aside from a few minutes of sharing what they'd done over break. By the state of the books, it wouldn't have been the first time she'd read them. Not that Violet could judge, she had started reading ahead on her Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts books. She'd been lucky enough to finish most of her homework the first few days she'd arrived home, so she had plenty of free time to do as she pleased.

When they finally arrived back at Hogwarts, Violet wasn't surprised to see Harry and Ron waiting for Hermione, hugging and welcoming her back. They weren't so friendly with Violet, not that she could blame them. They rarely hung out or talked, having only two classes together and other friends within their respective houses.

The four of them catch up as they stand outside the Great Hall. Harry and Ron were rather secretive about what they'd done, only sharing that they'd found a magic mirror that showed each person their heart's deepest desire, and that they'd done a lot of reading that didn't provide anything useful, whatever that was supposed to have meant.

Once she'd gotten tired of holding her schoolbag, Violet excused herself and made her way down to the Hufflepuff basement. She knocked on the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row to the rhythm of 'Helga Hufflepuff', making her way through the rounded door that appeared.

Inside was full loud fellow Hufflepuffs, all reuniting and discussing their holidays. Everyone seemed to be in good moods, having had time to rest and relax over the last few weeks. Violet waved to a few people, smiling at a few others. She hadn't realised just how many of them she'd gotten to know in the Fall, that she'd have so many- well, not quite friends, but acquaintances.

She shouted with glee when she entered her shared dorm, all three of her friends greeting her with warm hugs. As she, Caroline, Aimee, and Hannah unpacked and settled back in, they told each other all about their holidays.

Caroline spent her holiday travelling with her parents and little sister, who was just a few years younger than herself. They travelled to Ireland, where they apparently had distant family. Aimee stayed home with her father, celebrating quietly, as she had lost her mother just a few years before around that time of year. And Hannah spent the holidays visiting her family around Britain, mostly in Bristol.

Violet had missed her friends. She missed her parents more, at least right before she'd left for break, but she was glad to be back. She missed the feeling of magic and wonder at Hogwarts.

Classes didn't start until the next day, so she and her friends were more than happy to explore Hogwarts a bit. It was still cold outside, where everything was covered in snow, so they made do exploring the castle. They knew where their current classrooms were, but they made it a game to see and count how many there were at Hogwarts. From classrooms, closets, dormitories, bathrooms, and empty rooms, there were well over two hundreds rooms they counted.

By the time they arrived for dinner, which was a grand feast to celebrate the return of students and start of classes, the girls were thoroughly exhausted and had sore legs from all the walking. The feast was nothing short of spectacular, though, as they ate and talked with their fellow housemates.

━━━━━━⊱༻ ༺⊰━━━━━━

22nd February, 1991, Morning

Violet followed after her group of friends as they made their way down to the quidditch field. It was Hufflepuffs second match, this one against Gryffindor. Their first against Ravenclaw had been a close call, going on for over an hour before Cedric, Hufflepuffs seeker, caught the snitch, winning the match. It was evidently not Ravenclaws year, as they lost their second match, which was against Slytherin. The Slytherins were insufferable for weeks after.

"Good luck today, Ced!" Violet waved at the boy before turning to Anthony and Tamsin, "You too!"

"Thanks, Vi!" The couple returned, moving away from the growing crowd and towards the team's changing rooms.

"Thanks, Violet," Cedric agreed, smiling sheepishly, chasing after his teammates.

Aimee grabbed her arm and pulled her away, "C'mon, we've got to hurry if we want a good spot!"

"I'm coming!" Violet laughed, staying pace with Aimee and Caroline. Hannah was in the Hospital Wing with some sort of flu, not that she was into quidditch much anyway, but she hated to miss the matches their house played in.

By the time the girls found some empty seats, the crowd was as rowdy as ever. Despite the bitter cold that had people bundled up in several lays each, every student and professor that could attend was in the stands.

The crowd wasn't left waiting long, both quidditch teams making their way to the pitch quickly. They were as eager to start the match as the crowd was to watch it. Violet didn't envy them having to fly around in the cold, especially with the bitter wind that felt like a knife.

The match started off rough. The Hufflepuff team was awarded a penalty as one of the Weasley twins from Gryffindor struck a bludger at Professor Snape, who was refereeing the match. Then he gave them another penalty for no apparent reason.

Then, out of nowhere, Harry went into a dive towards Snape. He very nearly hit the professor as he flew by, pulling up from the dive to reveal the golden snitch in his hand.

"Merlin!" Caroline exclaimed, "That must've been the shortest quidditch game in history!"

"It's been less than five minutes, and Gryffindor already won! Oh, this isn't looking good for our next match..." Aimee bemoaned.

Violet had to agree. Hufflepuff was good, but their next match was against Slytherin, who seemed to be just as good. Though, Violet hoped that her house team put in enough practice between then and May to beat the Slytherin team.

She was tired of Slytherins. Though they had continued to leave Violet and her friends alone, they continued to bully, harass, and prank the entire rest of the student body, but never seemed to receive punishment for all the harm they'd done. Another point against Snape, Violet determined. She'd really started to hate that man, especially whenever she heard Harry complain about his harassment towards the boy.

The crowd seemed dejected as they exited the stands and returned indoors. They were plenty content with being inside where it was warm, but such a short match was boring. It bordered on being bad for morale, really.

Most people returned to their dorms, mumbling about wasted time and warm beds. Violet was inclined to agree. It was just after 10am, and she'd gotten up at 7 to prepare for the match, so she was set to return to bed for a quick nap before lunch. So she left her friends in the common room, where they awaited the quidditch players arrival to discuss the match, while she went back to bed, though she only ended up reading a book her mother gifted her instead of sleeping.

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔

Noon

Lunch was as loud as ever, as people were still discussing and arguing about that morning's quidditch match. Even having been at Hogwarts for several months, Violet still found it surprising that the students were so dedicated and enthusiastic about quidditch. Sure, she was starting to understand the excitement when attending the matches, but she didn't feel the need to overanalyze them.

So when she sat down at the table with the Hufflepuffs, including Cedric, Anthony, Tamsin, and Aimee, she wasn't surprised to find them talking about the match.

"No, I'm not convinced!" Anthony was saying, waving his fork around, "How did he catch it so quick? He's a first-year with no prior experience in quidditch!"

"What's he on about?" Violet asked Aimee, who was sitting to her left.

"They're arguing about whether Harry cheated or not."

"Not!" Violet said vehemently, catching the groups attention, "I know Harry, alright? He wouldn't cheat. Besides, isn't his father some sort of quidditch legend?"

"That's what I said," Cedric, who was to her right, agreed with her, "I think he's just talented. Besides, Wood works them hard at practice, so it's no surprise their team is good."

"Ced!" Anthony cried, "You're not supposed to defend him, you're rivals!"

"Just because we're both seekers doesn't mean we have to hate each other." Cedric deadpanned, "I wish I'd seen the snitch first, but I didn't, and nothing I say will change that."

Violet stared at Cedric in awe while Anthony and Aimee continued on about the game. She knew the traits of Hufflepuffs were to value fair play and humility, but she'd never seen it so blatant before. Cedric wasn't hard on himself for not winning the match, but he also wasn't bashing the other team or players.

Cedric smiled bashfully when he saw the look on Violet's face, "It's just a game, not the end of the world to lose one. There's always the match against Slytherin in May."

"Right. No, I know. It's cool that you're not miffed about it like the others."

He shrugged again, turning back to his plate and rejoining the conversation with the others.

As Aimee and Violet were leaving the Great Hall, Aimee started giggling to herself. And when Violet asked what had gotten into her, she giggled harder. "He's so into you!"

Violet scrunched her face up, "What? Who?"

"Cedric, duh!" Aimee looked behind them at the boy, giggling some more.

"No he doesn't, we're just good friends."

Despite her disagreement, Violet felt an uncomfortable feeling in her stomach for the rest of the day. It worsened whenever she saw Cedric, who'd gotten into the habit of smiling and waving anytime they saw each other. She tried to explain it away though, because she did that with several of her friends. Though, she came to realise, they were all girls...

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