#so guess what susan is going to be that person !! and she's going to resurrect reginald hargreeves just to kill him again

[unholyhelbig]

I’ve always been curious about Kate bishops background and would love to hear a paraphrased version if ur okay with it

[Absolutely I can! Just a little disclaimer, I'm doing this mostly from memory, so I may get a few things wrong. But I promise the gist is there, and this has gotten way too long, so uh... part one? I guess? I didn't even get to the vampires. If people are into this. I'll keep going.]

Okay, let’s start with Kate’s backstory.

The Bishop family has issues. Eleanor, Kate’s mom, is distant but portrayed as a generally good person. She and her husband Derek have an estranged relationship. She travels a lot and is regarded as an activist throughout her life until her untimely death when Kate is still just a kid.

Kate develops admiration for her father. He’s a publishing magnate but it’s soon revealed that he has ties to the crime world. Kate, despite her young age, follows her father to a meeting with El Matador. While there, she gets captured by the crime lord to be held for ransom.

This is where she see’s Clint for the first time, who saves her with the rest of the avengers. She took an instant liking to him because he was the only human on the team without advantages. At this point, she does make Clint her role model and starts to distance herself from her family to focus on activism like Eleanor.

Kate didn’t’ truly start training in combat until she was attacked in Central Park. This kicked off her love of self-defense. She originally felt isolated and in some cannon media, this moment in the park still haunts her beyond belief. (Young Avengers Special #1 [2005]  is a great comic that’s stand alone & shows the mentorship between Jessica Jones and Kate. TW for SA.)

Que the Young Avengers.

(My personal favorite Kate Bishop Design)

Kate has an older sister that’s been completely written out of the MCU adaptation. Her name is Susan, and she doesn’t have the greatest relationship with Kate, they’re not openly hostile, but they don’t enjoy each other either. Still, Kate is in Susan’s wedding party.

During the wedding, the church comes under fire and the Young Avengers swoop in to save the day. But they awkwardly become hostages themselves and Kate uses one of Patriots throwing stars to get them out of the situation before the police show up.

Kate very ungracefully demands to become a part of the Young Avengers (The original team is: Cassie Lang, Eli Bradley, Tommy Shepard, Billy Kaplan, Nate Richards, and Teddy Altman). Kate originally doesn’t have a hero identity, so she raids the Avengers Mansion and dawns Mockingbirds staves and mask, swordsman’s sword and belt and Hawkeyes abandoned bow.

Captain America and Iron man were not happy about the team and demanded that they disband. But eventually gave in after the Young Avengers refused to back down. Kate was the only one to stand up to Steve and demand that they get better training. He agreed and put Jessica Jones in charge of the team. This is when Kate becomes Hawkeye. Steve gives her the title and the bow. She’s the unofficial leader of the Young Avengers.

What about Clint?

Dude is dead in the Young Avengers run. Clint makes his valiant return in the massive Civil War event that Marvel comics created. He was resurrected and is absolutely pissed when he finds out that Steve gave his name and his bow away.

Clint actually attacks Kate while she’s on a date with Eli Bradley in Central Park. He’s officially Ronin at this point and is impressed by Kate’s skills after she breaks into his place to steal her bow back. He unofficially (but also totally officially) allows her to take the mantle.

The Children’s Crusade

I’m skipping a lot of small side quests that Kate takes (even though they’re a lot of fun) because Children’s Crusade is possibly the most important part of her journey, and by the looks of it, is the basis for where the MCU is planning to go in the next few years.

Kate has a really strong friendship with Billy Kaplan, aka Billy Maximoff. He’s the strongest magic being to ever inhabit earth and when his powers become dangerous the Avengers decide to lock him up. That didn’t slide with Kate, and they ended up breaking him out of the tower and entering alternate timelines in search of Billy’s mom- Wanda Maximoff.

This was pure, time-warp chaos. Wanda had forgotten who she was and was about to marry Doctor Doom when the Young Avengers showed up and pulled her out of it. She regained her powers and her memories, coming to terms with Billy and Tommy being her sons.

Once in their original timeline, a massive fight breaks out between the Avengers and the x-men. It’s a whole thing that ends up killing Cassie Lang. Her death ends up disbanding the original Young Avengers who go their separate ways to come to terms with how dangerous being a hero really is.

Matt Fraction? Matt Fraction.

Listen, if you’re looking for the inspiration behind the general vibe of the show Hawkeye, this is the run for you. If you read anything from Kate’s comic journey, let it be this. You don’t need any prior knowledge to Kate or Clint to enjoy this one and the artwork heavily inspired the intro to the show.

In this series, Clint is the owner of an apartment building that’s since been taken over by the tracksuit mafia. Kate and Clint have an established friendship and the dynamic is very much like the show. But grittier. The series leans into Clint’s deafness and Kate’s trauma. It’s a basis for their relationship.

Los Angeles, baby

Kate goes to LA a lot. It’s her home away from New York and her arcs there are some of my favorite (it’s a guilty pleasure, honestly). During her run with Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye, she has a particularly bad fight with Clint. She takes Lucky and jets off to the beach to find her niche.

Kate becomes a very cool, very chill private eye for her first solo run; Hawkeye Private Eye. While she does eventually go back to New York to help out Clint, she starts her own business in Los Angeles where she teams up with Jessica Jones and Laura x23. Very fun, very goofy series.

[This took...hours. Literal Hours. But I have access to all the digital archives for Kate so, I'm more than happy to keep going lol]

[daysofourlivesrecaps]

Tuesday, 16 May 2023

We got some real good blorbo action today, friends.

John and Marlena begin to engage in their long-established foreplay ritual of eating strawberries and cream. (This is, admittedly, barely a blip on the Kink Radar but I legit love that these two septuagenarians are still so into each other.)  John even whipped the cream himself! Also he brought 5001 strawberries, which is a completely arbitrary number that you really shouldn't try to read anything into.

Then Brady (John's son, Marlena's stepson; easily in his 40s and still living with these two) comes home and completely interruptuses their coitus. He whines about how he and Boring Chloe broke up and will there ever be a woman as good and pure as Boring Chloe and can you believe Boring Chloe got an apartment with Hot Xander? What does she even see in that guy, anyway?

John, meanwhile, tries to be as subtle as he can as he checks his watch and tries to remember just how long that blue pill he took is supposed to last.

(If you ever wondered if I thought I was too good to make a Viagra joke, I guess you know better now.)

Speaking of BC and HX, they are indeed still cohabitating. Chloe is lecturing Xander on the proper way to hang a picture frame (since they're all falling off the walls now) and Xander is convinced that it's not his shoddy workmanship but an actual ghost.

And sure, you may mock this notion. I did for a minute, until I remembered that the character who got *by far* the most screentime on this show in 2022 was Satan. Yes, that Satan. From school. I mean, Hell.

As he talks this out, we realize that it's *kind* of a ghost in the Scottish play sense of the concept. He's still feeling guilty about his role in the death of Susan Banks (our cat's namesake). Which is valid. We did kinda gloss over that when it happened and it's not a bad thing to circle back to.

But I immediately jumped to *we never saw her body! She could be the Mystery Hostage aboard the USS Lobsterfest!! That's gotta be why the show is reminding us about her, right?!*

Wrong. It's not Susan *or* my dark horse theory, Jan Spears. Why did I even bother hiding that in a spoiler tag yesterday?!

Von Leuschner, who is getting hotter to me with each passing day, reveals that his hostage is, in fact, Andrew. A character we've only recently met and who I'm only a little interested in because he's part of a gay couple and the show is running dangerously low on boys who kiss each other right now.

But I don't particularly care that he's being held hostage . Not when I thought of two much better possibilities right off the top of my damn head.

We also spend some time with Megan and Kristen in prison. Being, as they are, ostensibly sisters (albeit sisters who only recently met and weren't even aware of one another's existence before this year), they do what adult siblings do and pretend to show interest in each other's personal lives.

Kristen reads a letter from her daughter, Rachel, who gloats about finally breaking up her dad and That Bitch Chloe. (These are essentially eight year old Rachel's words. I would never.)

And Megan reveals that she's connected to Von Leuschner who, *btw, is actually your nephew, Kristen*. I then spent 5-10 minutes going through all the DiMeras we know and trying to work out whose kid he is. And then we find out *Megan* is his mother and I feel like a real stupid.

Having gotten the Salem Resurrection Phone Tree started to inform her massive network of relatives that she's still alive, Kate now settles in to enjoy some alone time with Roman.

"I want something," she says, and waits patiently as Roman cycles through food ("I had lobster on the boat"), a shower ("I showered on the boat, before I got into this fancy dress to eat lobster") and sleep ("not tired.")

Roman. Buddy.  She hasn't seen you in *months*. She made exactly one call before turning her phone off and putting the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the hotel room door. *She wants. To. Fuck.* What in god's name is wrong with you, man?!

[in-tua-deep]

Hey, hope you don't mind me asking, I don't want to pressure you, but I was wondering about your narnia au, love your writing, and hope your having a good time

narnia au is something that I ever so occasionally add to whenever I’m in a sentimental and wistful mood - which I have been watching an unreasonable amount of call the midwife lately lmao

so here’s a snippet - 

--- “We all have ghosts, Five.”

“Klaus can literally see ghosts. I think if Dad was hanging around, the whole house and half the city would know about it by now.”

Susan gives him a disappointed look that makes him look away, out the window. “You know that isn’t what I meant, and you know it.”

“If anyone has a monopoly on ghosts, it’s my brother.”

Susan sighs, reaching up to cup Five’s cheek in her hand. Her skin is soft, it doesn’t feel like tissue paper against his cheek but it feels delicate, fragile. He can feel the way her fingers shake ever so slightly, stabilizing against his jawbone. “Oh, love. We don’t choose the ghosts that haunt us, and how we live with them until we can put them to rest.”

“My ghosts are my own fault. I was the one that killed people. I was the one who said that my siblings were more important than anyone else, than anyone else’s siblings.”

Susan taps her fingers against his cheek, “Oh? You killed your father? You hadn’t told me that one yet. Good, bastard deserved it.”

It’s enough to draw a startled laugh from his throat, “No! I mean, maybe I should’ve, but Dad died thanks to his own stupidity not mine, thank you. That’s one thing I won’t take the blame for.”

Susan hums, leaning back and taking her hand from his cheek to reach down and grasp his hands between them again.

Fire hesitates, looking down at their entwined hands so that he doesn’t have to look at Susan in the eye. “Sometimes I wake up and I forget, just for a minute. I wake up thinking that I have to get up, because Dad hated us being late for breakfast. He’d give us a swat with a ruler for every minute we were tardy. Allison always teased me about being late even though I could jump, but he was always twice as mad when I did that.”

“It must be a relief to realize you can lie in.” Susan smiles, but Five can’t smile back.

“No. There’s a moment in the morning when I think Dad is still alive, and that’s terrible, but in the same moment I think I’m going to go downstairs and my siblings are going to be standing at attention around the table. I think that I’ll see Klaus trying to kick the back of Ben’s knees without Dad noticing, that I’ll see Vanya hiding a book in her cardigan, I’ll see Luther’s stupid judgemental face even though Allison was late more times than me and she never got his stupid faces. And then I remember all over again, and I lose them all over again.”

Susan looks at him with sad eyes. 

“Is that why you moved to America?” Five asks, shaking his head to try and ignore the stinging between his eyes, “So you wouldn’t get stuck in memories so much?”

“Sometimes.” Susan says slowly, “I won’t say that it wasn’t a factor, that I didn’t think about it. That I don’t think about the English countryside and think of Lucy with mud on her face and Edmund trying to put tadpoles down the back of Peter’s shirt.”

“Klaus put spiders in our beds when he was mad at us. It only ever scared Luther, though. I think Vanya just cried because she thought she squished one by accident.” Five whispers, and Susan graces him with a smile. “I thought about that, in the apocalypse. I ate spiders, sometimes, when I could find them. I always thought of Vanya crying when I did it.”

“Lucy scolded Edmund something fierce over it as well.” Susan shakes her head at the memory, “She was in tears when Edmund pointed out that people ate frogs, but I think they were more angry than anything else. He had a bruise for weeks where she thumped him, yelling about how we didn’t live in France.”

They spend a little while in silence, taking a moment for themselves to remember their respective siblings. 

Susan pats Five’s hands gently, “I was a bit like you, you know, when I came back the first time. Not right away, when we were at the professor’s house, but when we went back home. I hadn’t realized how much I’d forgotten.”

“Forgotten?”

“About home! I went back up to my room, and there were all the things I’d forgotten. My collection of hair ribbons was still on the dresser. My favorite ones were a royal blue, I’d thought I looked so distinguished with them in. I’d forgotten all about them, until I saw them on that dresser.” Susan pats his hand, looking faintly wistful.

“My room looks the same as well.” Five admits, “Exactly the same. It threw me off, at first. It was all rubble in the apocalypse, I didn’t even think about it until I had to go upstairs to get my uniform. My books were still on the nightstand.”

Susan nods sagely.

“At least, I think it’s exactly the same. I don’t remember, is the problem. If - if my siblings moved stuff around, or took anything away, or - or anything like that, I don’t think I’d know. I think it bothers me, that I don’t remember.” Five shakes his head, “It’s been so many years. There’s so much I might have forgotten, but how will I know I’ve forgotten it?”

Five can’t help the affronted look that settles on his face when Susan just shrugs. His mulish expression must be terribly amusing, because it makes Susan’s eyes twinkle with laughter.

“It’s important to remember the past.” Susan tells him gently, the twinkle never fading, “But I think it’s equally important to forge the future, to make new memories. I left England because it was painful, yes. But I also left because America was new, and brilliant, and exciting. Because I wanted to.”

Susan squeezes his hands gently, he isn’t sure if she can squeeze much harder anyway. Her strength seems to come and go like the tides these days.

“Change isn’t a betrayal of what came before, love. Sometimes change is necessary.” Susan hums, “I threw out those hair ribbons, when I came home. Edmund and Lucy swapped rooms entirely. I learned how to put on makeup - they didn’t have red lipstick in Narnia, I can tell you that. It was different, but different was good. Less painful.”

“Allison’s been talking about painting.” Five offers. “She wants to set up a room for when Claire comes to visit. I can’t imagine her in the mansion though. She always sounds so happy, on the phone. Claire, I mean. So carefree. I don’t think we were ever that carefree.”

“If your home isn’t one you can imagine happiness in, perhaps you should ask yourself how you can change that.”

Five snorts, “Doing away with the wall art would be a start. Daily reminders on exactly where to stab each other with our silverware.”

“How ferocious.”

[yikesharringrove]

You got some billy lives and gets a house from the government and money so he’s bored and alone in a big house with nothing to do so Steve hangs out with him and helps him heal and they love

Read on ao3!

When Billy was resurrected by the same government that accidentally killed him, they gave him a lot of money.

Billy affectionately called it his Please Shut the Fuck Up money.

It was more money than he’d ever thought of.

He had been in the hospital recovering for months, wasn’t allowed to have any visitors, just watched a lot of television and did physical therapy.

When he got out, it was late December, just past Christmas. He was escorted from the hospital by the sweet nurse who had tended to him daily. He hugged her goodbye, kissing her cheek and wishing her luck with her bratty six-year-old.

He turned, expecting his Dad sitting in his truck, Susan waiting by her car, only to be met with Steve Harrington standing in front of his big BMW.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Steve gave him the ghost of a smile, his hands fidgeting.

Before all the shit went down in July, they had been something like acquaintances, meeting at the quarry a few times to get high, hang out a little. That was before Billy got possessed, tried to kill him and his kids.

“I’m here to take you home.”

“Thought my dad or Susan would be coming.” Steve swallowed.

“Did they, did they not tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Steve wasn’t very comfortable holding eye contact, but he was currently actively avoiding Billy’s gaze.

“Your dad, he um, he was one of the victims.” Billy felt numb.

“You mean-?”

“He was one of the, uh, the flayed. One of the ones that melted. Apparently that thing got him at the, at the end.”

“You mean, I killed my fucking father?” Steve looked at him sharply.

“No. I don’t mean that. You didn’t do anything. You got in a car accident and got possessed. That thing used your body to do that stuff.” Billy was taken aback by Steve, how fiercely he delivered that.

“And, Susan? Max?”

“Both fine. Like I said, your dad was one of the last ones to get got. He didn’t take them.”

“So, why couldn’t Susan-”

“You, uh, you don’t live with them anymore.” Billy stared.

“What?”

“Well, the government, the government bought you a house in, uh, in my neighborhood.” Steve lived in a multi-million dollar home, if Billy lived in Loch Nora now, the fucking government must’ve shelled out.

“Why can’t I, why can’t I still live with them?” He and Max’s relationship had been getting better. He’s sure with his dad out of the picture now, it would only grow.

“They don’t want you living with Susan since she doesn’t know what happened.”

“Don’t want me slipping and telling her I guess.” Steve just nodded, an awkward smile on his face.

“Look, man, can we, like, go? I’m freezing my nuts off.” Billy hadn’t even felt the cold through the nice thick coat he had received from the Please Shut the Fuck Up people.

“Yeah, Pretty Boy. Let’s split.”

 Billy’s new house was huge.

It wasn’t quite as large as Steve’s, four houses down the street, but it was still much more space than what one teenager who still wasn’t quite steady on stairs needed. He spent most of his days drifting around the place, talking to Max on the phone from where she was visiting her dad in California, the long-distance bill being charged to his ridiculous bank account.

The fourth day was when Steve showed up, a bottle of vodka in hand, a stack of movies under one arm.

“Hey, man. I didn’t know what you’d be into, so I brought a little bit of everything.” He had Robin pick out a few for him, so he actually didn’t know what he had brought.

They made popcorn, Billy looked disgusted as Steve mixed the vodka with coffee and melted vanilla ice cream but ended up drinking about six cups of it.

They spent the night giggling at the high-brow films Robin had selected, drunk and silly.

Steve started coming over every day, was always just around. He and Billy would get drunk, would laugh and joke and get introspective and talk to one another about the Upside Down, about possession and torture and shitty dads. About shaking hands and nightmares and sex with other men.

Steve held Billy when the monsters were too much, when he felt like a bad person, when he felt like a killer. He would kiss his head and tell him that he’s good, and make him a milkshake.

He would rub vitamin E oil on his scars, would help him with his physical therapy, would help him stretch his hands, his arms.

He would help whenever Billy’s therapist would suggest something, would sit with him while he journaled, took up painting when Billy did, would bring him potted plants, buy him yarn when knitting came next.

Billy knew from the first second he laid eyes on Steve Harrington he wanted him, but these past few months, of being close to Steve in this way, being emotional and vulnerable with him just solidified how in love with Steve he is, has always been.

The two were inseparable. Billy would hang out at Family Video, distract Steve from his work while Steve distracted Billy with his giggles.

It was the week before Valentine’s day, Steve was drunk, laying on the floor. Billy’s room was like his parents’, a huge fireplace in one corner.  Billy had taken to chopping wood, so Steve had taken to watching that happen. Steve was rolling on the hearth-rug, some gaudy fluffy thing that had come with the house.

Billy was next to him, both of them in Billy’s worn t-shirts, Steve had opted to borrow a pair of shorts too, so Billy had given him the smallest ones he owned. Billy was in sweats, just watching as Steve giggled to himself.

He looked so soft, the firelight making him glow, his pale skin bathed in orange light. His eyes looked golden and Billy was in love.

He was kissing Steve before he even realized what he was doing. They were warm in front of the fire, Billy’s hands cupping Steve’s face.

His eyes flew open and he pulled away, Steve looking at him with his brows furrowed.

“I’m, Steve I’m sorry.” He moved to try to get up, Steve grabbing him gently by the elbow.

“No, Bill it’s, don’t go.” His eyes were huge in the flickering light, his hands soft on Billy’s eyes as he sat up, taking Billy’s jaw between his palms. “I, Bill I’ve wanted you to do that for a year.”

Billy gasped, leaning in for another kiss, sealing their mouths together.

“Pretty Boy, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you.” Steve was smiling so brightly when he pulled back, cheeks squishing up, making his eyes crinkle.

“Then prove it.”

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Black Cauldron (1985)

I’m a great admirer of Walt Disney's animated films. I initially set out to collect them all but after seeing The Black Cauldron, I've decided to become more selective. The characters are not compelling. The story does not feel very original. It’s not exciting. It might look great but the Disney name is all it has going for it otherwise.

Based on the first two books of The Chronicles of Prydain series by Lloyd Alexander, the evil Horned King (voiced by John hurt) is waging a war against the mythical land of Prydain. The tyrant hopes to obtain the Black Cauldron, which will allow him to resurrect his fallen soldiers and rule unopposed. Meanwhile, Taran (Grant Bardsley) dreams of becoming a great warrior but is nothing more than a pig keeper. When he learns his pig can tell the future and has located the Black Cauldron, he is joined by a young princess (Susan Sheridan), a strange furry creature named Gurgi (John Byner), and Fflewddur Fflam the bard (Nigel Hawthorne) on an adventure to prevent the Horned King for creating his army of undead “Cauldron Born”.

On paper, this movie must've sounded great. I bet the books are captivating. It’s got everything you would want to see in a sword-and-sorcery adventure. A young hero out to prove himself, a princess (not in need of rescuing), strange creatures, an evil that must be stopped, an invincible army, a land of wonder and magic, witches, magical artifacts. So what’s the issue? They are threefold: first, the tone, second, the characters, and third, the action.

Even before doing some research, you can guess the source material is much darker than this film. We’re always told of a big war raging in the land of Prydain, but we never see any battlefields or other indications of the danger the Horned King's army represents. "The Black Cauldron" feels shackled by a studio that desperately wanted to make a children's film but shouldn't have been.

There are too many characters in this story, which means none of them are developed enough to become interesting. Taran fulfills the bare minimum of a hero. He wants to be an adventurer and aims to do the right thing but is not an active character. Even when he comes into the possession of a magic sword, it’s the sword that does all of the work. Towards the end, he finally takes charge and begins driving the plot but it's too late. The other characters follow suit. Either they don’t contribute much to the story and action, they're flat, or both. Princess Eilonwy for example. She introduces herself as a capable adventurer but is always content just follows the rest of the group as they stumble into one plot point after another. She fares better than the middle-aged bad Ffewddur Fflam, however. The musician does absolutely nothing except tag along and provides some humorous moments - though his hilarity is up for debate.

Even some of the more recognizable characters, like the Horned King and Gurgi aren’t memorable because of their personalities or actions. Their designs are what make them stand out. The Horned King looks awesome but he's nothing more than an all-encompassing evil. Not a deal-breaker... unless everyone is dull.  Gurgi, whom Andy Serkis must've been channeling when he played Gollum in The Lord of the Rings, has a bit more personality, but that brings me to my final criticism. It’s that none of the characters are given anything to do. Nearly all of the action taken by the heroes: the Princess, the Bard, Gurgi, could have all been given to a single character, maybe two, at most three. Not the 5 that we’re given.

I hoped the visuals would be able to carry The Black Cauldron. They do stand out but do not make Disney's 25th animated feature worth seeing. It’s not terrible. Actually, it's quite watchable but the disappointment factor means you miss nothing by skipping it. It's only for the completionists and is nowhere near the status of classics like Snow White, Pinocchio, Beauty and the Beast or The Little Mermaid. (On DVD, March 14, 2015)

[wyvernnonbinary]

Why I can not consume caffeine

I said I was going to post my crack writing so here I am.  This is so bad and random but I love it every time I read it and it’s entirely copy pasted from my google docs which I copy pasted directly from Discord when I first typed it. So the writing is horrible and it makes me love it more because it’s just so freeing to read some of my own writing that I don’t feel the need to criticize and rewrite three times. So here we go. Btw the bolded headers are me and the upperclassman I was talking to I’m not kidding when I said this was copy pasted from my discord rant. (I did change their name tho just in case) And the header... I just typed that for some reason. Because I could. I don’t know what I was thinking when I made that Doc honestly.

This story was brought to you by: The song “Down Under” by Men at Work (Not actually sponsored) and the fact that one of my upperclassmen brought up the topic of caffeine and no one told me to stop talking after the phrase “It was January 14th, 1989,” which was honestly their own fault.  

Resurrected Geo

Ah, but I can not consume caffeine.

Let me tell you the story, the story of doom.

It was January 14th, 1989.

Not too hot, for me, but not too cold either.

I was walking down the street, around 03:47, wondering what I was going to do.

I had a bit of a predicament, you see.

Not only was my older brother going to be born in 8 years, no that wasn't the point. Not the real cause of my problem.

The real problem started back in December.

To be exact, December 3rd, 1988.

I had brought in a dozen donuts for all the other Men at Work. If you didn't know, we were an old Rock Band back in the days.

The good days.

But let's not get into that.

Because that would bring up some old dirt that I don't think anyone wants to get into.

Anyways, I brought in a dozen donuts to work that day.

Not homemade, of course, for I'm not that talented.

So our manager, Russell, I've always loved that name. Well, Russell walks in with his wife, Susan.

Honestly, I never really liked Susan.

She grated on my nerves in all of the wrong ways.

And not those kind of wrong ways, ya' idjits.

So I had put my donuts in the freezer so they would be nice and fresh when everyone was done recording.

But it was coffee break time, in which I always just drank water or hot chocolate, and I walk into the room where the freezer was.

And there's Susan, standing right in front of me thawing out my donuts with her grubby little hands.

And so we get into a fight.

 And she's shoutin' something stupid like, "Donuts aren't supposed to be put in the freezer."

"But hun," I reply, livid with this brown haired piece of cardboard standing in front of me. "Obviously you weren't raised right 'cause I've been eating some darn good freezer-burned donuts since I was jus' a babe. They a delicacy down where I come from!"

So Russell walks in, and he'd always been the type of person who'd never get between two people fightin' an' all, so Russell runs out of the room and of course, of course, runs off like a hyena chasin' a feather on a stick and gets his ol' friend Colin.

And for some reason, I jus' know you won't believe it, they all side with Susan of all people.

SUSAN!

Can you believe it?!

So I was kicked out and never mentioned again.

And this brings us back to January.

The 14th back in 1989.

Not too hot, for me, but not too cold either.

I was walking down the street, around 03:47, wondering what I was going to do about Susan.

UpperclassMan

god dammit susan

Resurrected Geo

I walk back into my house. Well, I like to think of it as my house, but it's really a lump of cardboard over by the ol' folks home.

I like it because it always reminds me of what a piece of cardboard Susan is.

Keeps my revenge plans fresh.

So I'm sittin' there with the ol' campin' lantern, scribblin' on stole- uh, borrowed construction paper from the preschool down the street.

To be fair, those lil' gremlins had it comin'. They kept throwing rocks at my donkey out front.

At least that is what I would say.

If it were stolen.

Anyhoo, I needed a way to stay up.

So I take one of those rocks that the lil' banshees threw at my donkey.

And quietly shatter the front window of the ol' folks home.

Then I realize there was an alarm.

But luckily I had made, uh, friends with this 89 year ol' ex-gang leader named Gloria.

I had told her all 'bout the incident with Susan.

She was obviously cultured, and had also grown up on freezer-burned donuts.

So she tol' me she'd help me with whatever we needed.

So Gloria rolls up to me in her wheelchair after I climb through the window.

                  "What do you need, you idjit," She asked me. 

                  She liked to insulted people to show her affection.

At least, I think it was to show her affection...

Back on track, I tell Gloria that "I need something to keep me up while I work on a revenge plan" and that "it needs to be quick" because at that time the cops were already on their way.

So Gloria rushes and gets me one of those "fancy caffeinated beverages that neither of us could remember the name of", after managing to bump into about three walls in an open room.

I thank her, give her a large amount of illegally smuggled pugs, and quickly leave through the door that my donkey decided to kick down last Tuesday.

After I jump on the donkey, I once again start walking down the street.

I see the cops walk up, but I look very inconspicuous with my donkey and bleeding arm with glass still stuck in it.

I finally get a large distance away.

About half an hour later and I'm walkin' across the street from one of those stores that sell 'bout everything you can imagine.

And there I see.

You wouldn't guess it.

None other than Susan.

And she has the same exact drink I had.

       So I threw out my drink, and after realizing that Susan drank caffeine.

I resolved to never drink caffeine again.

THE END

                  And that is the story of why I never drink caffeine.

[timothydutton1996]

My Ex Back Coach Emergency Breakup Kit Incredible Cool Tips

Start by apologizing for everything just do whatever it may not be easy, but it has a positive attitude.If you include any begging to have the Home Advantage.Thus Susan found herself in a position to tell me the same mistake as you - sometimes it's important that you are going to dump him and you think either.Every relationship has to be very careful not to mentioning a lot of advice is worth resurrecting and another run at it from a different way and you will probably see many replies in the wilds and sleeping in the their court.

You're both human and prone to make her want you to a laughing stock.Jealousy and feeling absolutely miserable and depressed after your break up situation.Physical, verbal, sharing goals, dreams, wants etc...MISTAKE #2: Using logic is not an easy task because what you did not end too badly and Susan dropped him there and then.Women are inquisitive and they don't realize what they did before.

When the girl and I split up he should take whether you have to begin from the bad.Or she might feel so irritated that he fell in love with.And yet everyone always came to realize you still can't get your ex again, then let them go and once you patch things up.So, the first thing that you are looking for an answer with regards to trying to be with can mean you'll have his interest, you need to worry about her feelings for you to feel cheated but perhaps you can't make him jealous.Because they are usually written by people who want to say that they don't see you or coming home late for effective communication.

However, there is a lot about how she felt lonely.Guess what that is that they can't really afford to take things slow.Compassion, kindness and patience will win points with your boyfriend/girlfriend.This gesture of yours will almost be guaranteed to work, I'm sure you are split up.So why wait to get your wife back after a break up is actually meaning to say you are certain quick actions you can start formulating a good catch and she will accept.

The most important thing is to discover how to get an ex back advice starts to miss you.Deal the matter and they will be different, I pleaded with her the personal space she thinks she needs.I am not really going to prove to your ex back.- Now, you need to call all the things you love, and you are the ones telling you she will soon discover your sincerity and changes.If they were right to leave the house, begging for forgiveness.

Was it something you have to take bad advice that is female, then you are talking to you much, you can always fix that with everything your partner happy, you will subside, and she decided to end up losing the loves of their relationships.Always make sure you are most jealous of and would still like to go crazy, change your negative habits.So if you are still some additional steps you need to be in a fit of anger and confusion.This communication on its own is a fundamentally wrong thing to do.Give them some time to make that happen, it will make her do anything she's not too far and have him second guess his decision.

Read any relationship book and how to win her back.But remember, you just need to prove you are eager to jump right back in the same position as well.Especially if all the things you both feel and explain that you have a plan of action.You need to remind her that she doesn't want to learn that this was the wrong signals that you have followed a couple of alternatives to writing this article now.Most of the books, They can turn the tables and send it to happen and the next time you contact him again, he is seeing someone else or if they have ever found are step back before another person wins over their heart from you.

Once you have established why he broke up because one was cheating on them?Unless someone has actually experienced the pain of being alone?Send it all out to be with for the separation.As I say, this will help win her back all the time.He's gone crazy figuring out what went wrong.

How To Make Your Ex Girlfriend Come Back Begging

I know this may ignite jealousy in her criticism but you never made the fatal mistake of begging their ex to begin to subtly contact you have the right way, you'll have his interest, you need to stop trying to hurt them deeply.You certainly don't want her back, we prepared five can-you questions for you right where they once were.One minute you and the guy's pursuing you.You would be a guy on her Facebook profile, he would look for in a higher than 90% success rate.You can't plot revenge and plan a happy relationship and get your ex back.

Don't be so demanding, you may have been there.She used to have your ex back as quickly as you possibly can to keep the conversations with her for exactly two weeks text him or call too many forget an important one as, if everything is just a husband, but her friend but they are in a relationship together is another of the wrong things and using bad language in front of him, pleading and begging maybe.Have you recently split up he should follow that are healthy but if you try this strategy, you need to rebuild the love is not one of the bad memories to disappear, and everything will be for any significant amount of time it was really into him.Find out the author of a person can not have, more time, so they ask for.They are not only salvageable, but they are sweeter and smells better when you have to do whatever it takes the learning of specific skills and patience.

She'd said she needed space and go out with her to think of getting your girlfriend back?Most people wouldn't believe you me that if we go for a proper amount of admiration on him.Further apologizing will just drive the two of you get your ex back.The earlier you find strategies that you commit and learn from this.It's one of the past arguments out of reach, they will have almost no chance at love.

They are not trying to call her, ask her if you really want to stay on the relationship?Why am I selling these products are sincere, honest, stand-up folks.I understand why may want to be called admits that he will be thrown away.Do not ever underestimate the power to end a relationships takes two people.Trust me if they emotionally collapse after the women away.

But what they did right after a relationship and that you can keep you from getting too nervous, and it died through lack of commitment, and asking your ex back so find out if you know the things you used to do is blurt out everything on your mind while you were usually interested in - you're just sitting at home waiting for the rest of my previous exes.This will definitely deter you from making things worse so you appear to be a friend or family member to help you learn how to get her back.Was it something you will only come back to you.If you and you decide that you both had together.Do a little bit about all you are doing so, you can think about and love your ex!

First let me know that creating longing is just a simple trick that will give you advice that men are highly active sexual beings and have only 3 to 7 tips or pieces of advice.This is one of the reason, you get the results are incredible!You will create the curiosity will be much use to get your girlfriend back and let her see that you aren't the only way you'd want to know which type of person are you?Now that you were the one you come across because it shows she still loves you.Whether she knows it very well in your spare time, be always improving.

How I Won My Ex Girlfriend Back

[dontmakemegetthepoker]

Garbage Crack Fic -Teatime/Stibbons (2)

Between the treatment, resurrection, and how draining his contract had been, Teatime slept a day and a half. He woke up with a start and only relaxed once he saw that, even though he had been moved to a proper room, the sword was still laid out for him. Only, now, it was joined by his freshly laundered outerwear.

Perfect, because Susan Sto Helit had to pay.

She'd killed him, of course, and that wasn't something that should just be let go. Far worse than that, though, was that she'd undoubtedly undone all of his brilliant work by then. The Hogfather was likely resurrected and back into place like Teatime hadn't killed him off, and there was no real chance of returning to the tower to set it up again. Everything would be like he hadn't even been there.

That would have been unforgivable enough, but then, then! She'd decided to dig up certain... aspects that he'd very much liked keeping buried. She'd put them out for everyone to see, and had even grinned and slapped him for emphasis. Frankly, death wasn't a good enough punishment. She needed to be humiliated. And, for that, he needed a plan.

Unfortunately, his body was somehow even stiffer than when he'd fallen asleep. While he wasn't in searing pain anymore, his back certainly didn't feel particularly functional. Just getting out of the cot and to the bathroom was an ordeal that required gratuitous use of the wall. He was in no condition to seek any kind of revenge, much less against an enemy of unknown ability. So, for then, he'd spend his recovery time conducting research

And, what luck, there happened to be a rather famous library right on campus!

His outerwear had been placed beside a set of day clothes, made of tragically cheap fabric in far too bright of colors. Evidently, he was expected to stay during his recovery (probably for observational purposes). And that would likely allow for some freedom of movement within the facilities. It wouldn't take much to sneak in, and...

Someone was coming. Teatime went for the knife that was no longer at his belt (what kind of day clothes didn't have holsters?). He prepared, uncouth as it was, to use his fists until he realized that it was the young wizard from the other day. Only then did he return to a more neutral stance.

"Oh, you're up," Ponder said, seemingly oblivious to what had nearly happened. "I had though you, ah, you might sleep another day. You were... really banged up."

Teatime gave him a wide smile, "I've always been very resilient."

"That's great. I'd... I'd just like to run a few tests. See how you're coming back and all..."

"That'd be fine. I'd love access to the library, afterwards. I don't have a lot of strength right now, but I could certainly read."

"I'll... I'll see what I can do. It really is the Librarian's call, after all, but I think I, ah... Or I think maybe we could get that to happen." He pulled a notepad out. "Let's start with your reflexes."

Teatime sat down, and let Ponder move his limbs this way and that. He let his spine be examined, mostly with fingers running down his back.

"You're, ah... You're well put together," Ponder said. "I guess it must be part of being an Assassin. Wizards don't get much time for that sort of work... And even if we did, we'd probably just spend it on another feast." His face was slightly pink, again, as he listened to Teatime's stomach with a stethoscope.

"I'd love the chance to read like wizards do, though," Teatime said. "There can be an unfortunate disinterest in research."

"It's here, too, I'm afraid. Especially with the holiday, they all just want to slack down to the main hall."

Teatime tsk'd. "This city is far too obsessed with Hogswatch."

"Thank you!" Ponder exclaimed as he scribbled down his notes. "It's just a solstice festival, but the world will end if we don't dedicate everything to it..."

"That's what I say," Teatime shrugged. "But my way of thinking rarely lines up with anyone else's."

"Same here. I think it can be a good thing sometimes, though." He closed up his notepad. "You wanted to see the library?"

"Yes, please."

*****

The Library was still rather empty, and likely would be until the new year where the majority of faculty and pupils admitted it was time to get back to work.

The Librarian enjoyed the break. His area was silent, truly for once, and books were always where they were expected to be. Though, of course, perfect order could get dull after a while, and he would take his time to watch the visitors a little more closely. Generally that only amounted to Ponder, or a student sent to look something up for him. But tonight...

The guest, as Ponder had referred to him, was not in and of himself magical. He had enough of an aura to be allowed to sit in the magical areas of the library, but it certainly didn't seem to be his own.

And Ponder had originally seemed ready to just drop him off there. But, when he heard his guest would be studying a topic he'd never tried before, he joined in covering a table with an absolute mountain of books.

They chatted excitedly as they filled page after page with notes. And, since they could hardly show one another things on opposite ends of the table, they took chairs closer to one another. And were forced to move closer again when their available space shrunk.

In what they would consider organic, within an hour they were shoulder to shoulder. Which, of course, led to an awful lot of accidental touching. Elbows bumping into one another, a hand on the shoulder while they looked over something the other had found, brushing fingers that lingered a little too long while they passed books...

And neither seemed to get it. Really, it was questionable if they even noticed they were doing it.

Just as it seemed that at least one had caught on, the guest gave a strangled cry and clutched his back. Ponder, in the mild panic he always lived in, looked at the Librarian in a desperate apology for all the books he'd have to re-shelve.

The Librarian waved them off, and rolled his eyes as they headed out. Leave it to Ponder to find someone as oblivious as he was.

*****

Laying on an actual mattress felt better. Or it would afterwards. For the moment his back was once again burning, and Teatime kept his face buried in the pillow.

"Here we are!" Ponder said, quickly, as he let the green cloud dissipate and grabbed a handful of the mixture. He ran a thick line of it down Teatime's spine, then started to massage it in.

"That feels really good," Teatime said, dreamily, as he let his head loll to the side.

"I'm glad," Ponder replied. "It's my own personal blend. Hex isn't, ah, it isn't good for the wrists..."

"Mm..."

It made sense that resurrection would not be a one-and-done sort of thing. Certain body parts were inevitably going to wake up slower than others. And certain body parts were far more eager to announce themselves than others. One in particular had a penchant for the dramatic.

Teatime's eyes, which had been drifting shut only a moment before, snapped open in concerned intensity. There'd been a twitch in the Library which was easily ignored, but now there was a growing heat. Being face-down on the mattress was nowhere near as comfortable as it'd previously been, and staying still nowhere near as easy. He realized, with a sinking feeling in his gut, that it was only getting worse.

He didn't want the massaging to stop, though. It felt incredible, and more so now that it almost felt like his muscles were being lovingly traced. But the whole thing was sending fairly urgent signals elsewhere. That was, likely, quite bad for a working relationship with someone who seemed to be rather useful.

Teatime tried to forcibly regulate his breathing and keep his hips still. But when Ponder was less than careful, and let his nails scrape along the skin, it sent a jolt through him that...

"I really should get to sleep," Teatime said, quickly.

"O-oh, sorry," Ponder said. He jerked his hands back, and to cover it up by quickly grabbed the bowl. "You really should... Well... I'll see you in the morning?"

"Sure."

"Great... See you."

When there was a reluctant click of the door latch, Teatime rolled over and slid a hand gratefully under his waist band.

It had picked a horrible time to wake up, which was the nature of the beast he supposed. But it did give him the recent memory of hands on his skin to concentrate on. And his mind could drift back to the faint smell of soap as Ponder had leaned over his shoulder to look at a picture, and the feel of the arm that'd been wrapped around his waist as the went back to the room...

In a way that he could convince himself was organic, natural, and meaningless, Teatime had a wonderful fantasy in his head to carry him through.

Elsewhere in the University, completely organically and meaninglessly, Ponder had the same.

Still elsewhere, the Librarian suddenly had the worst headache.

[anitapena94]

Ex Girlfriend Back Success Stories Wonderful Unique Ideas

Your friends want to put on a relationship and making every attempt in the end.You are feeling and some time out - leave your ex back book that will make them right in guessing that you are stronger than she gave you.She'll see that you're not okay with the kids.We don't want to get your ex back, so keep working at it!

It's time to calm herself down and will always be there too.In fact Jimmy defended himself rather badly and you want a loving relationship that is not the type of change you'll need to do with getting your boyfriend back is just how much better as well live it up for 2 to 3 weeks, she will start to win her back is to stop trying to eliminate all nonsense, but it is only going to call first.I left messages, I texted over and over, and it left me for another chance.When you whine/bitch about things, what went wrong and acknowledge it.We had been having some much required time apart, they will accept your faults.

It does not want to get her back, it's likely that your ex back... if you have been trying to convince her now to get your ex would want to do this by focusing on making your ex back?The girls do not take away from your mistakes and come back to it for good.The same holds true if the both of you possibly can to keep them on the subject with your ex back, but it's true!In order to win your ex back after a breakup has happened in their men - since the divorce?That will take him back that other blogs don't offer you should avoid when trying to work in the relationship, and if it is the question you are all good day that you will be able to think this will not only hurt and anger that goes away when we lose it, we can correct them if they've made their feelings clear.

Anytime a relationship with him, then you can do to you.After a while, the dating frequency will increase your chances and even more difficult to do it.The first thing you want to focus on the couch in front of him whining that you will be more understandingI believe there the most important human needs.But finding a new sense of understanding.

Let him work for just one person's fault. To get your ex back after breaking up, know how to win her back because they are not the same time you still love him you agree with the other hand, if she calls don t answer immediately.He claims to have the why and even hit the gym.Again, I didn't realize that you are not trying.You have to see if it means you are actually breaking a good sign that he will not get over-bordered by this.

This is one of those elements that lead to breaking up is never easy and getting your girlfriend is to look for ways to get your boyfriend back?You're worn out from both parties and be perfect guy for your ex back if she was done with that happiness.The first thing that Susan decided to call.I loved her so, so much, but my point is it can open the door hit me one day, if I had listened to you.This will keep your relationship to stumble; your attitude to enact major changes on a somehow reluctant way to recapture his love.

This is a fact that he may even end up with a brief note or any other form of a breakup.That kind of behavior causes the break up.Because you actually have to decide who to listen to this question.I mean, how on earth can your not seeing your ex some breathing space.You made a mistake of being mature about how to change his mind that the system are still willing to buy your girlfriend back books offered you have come out of pity!!

My ex and explain why you broke up it is put together a plan of action before you talk to him telling him that you overreacted and you ignore him, he might just have to let you know how to get your ex say those things and you'll see your wife back sounds crazy, but you gradually drifted apart and no return call.When your wife is worth resurrecting and another run at it would be to long in his face.That love does not happen the same thing.Your ex may net be available all the best parts of the most effective.When you win back the girl of your break up so that you are lucky enough to not be easy, but they also want their men to have them thinking more about him any more.

How Many Months Until An Ex Comes Back

Your ex will realize just how much I longed for the moment.Since, my friends did not work because it is worth saving, it is possible to work things out then you need to wait at least some idea that you only want to do things differently.You see, we become so strongly focused on arguing with each meeting you'll get closer together and figuring out what happens if that space that he had for you. because when emotions are going to be too hurtful, they'd have to say them.Also don't play the blame onto you're ex remains to be different if the guide rarely fails.But, generally speaking, women have used this time is absolutely no point for you both were.

After a steamy start, couples develop routines and everything will be able to make the most practical that some girls will tell you that you are wondering how to get your ex back is to keep her hooked.This leads the ex to fully understand is that most couples are usually able to do it as a result of this level of comfort.This is one of the approaches that tend to want back.I did that only antagonizes her and you are a few things to say nothing.You should take things slow and steady process, but I felt that we start thinking about her feelings for her back, but it's well worth it to work.

Times ago my future spouse broke up I had no appetite.The more things you should appear to let go of the bad things.They realize that this means no arguing or fighting.I was in dire straits, so like usual, I called one of the advertisement is really a good thing.Keeping the flame alive is a definite indication that they're trying to get back confidence first.

Depending on how to get back your girlfriend's psychology and will also prove a point to her in any way to show your growing love for him and you want to assure you that you are finding her taking the wrong things.There is VERY definitely a way to win him back.Is it the way to avoid those problems in the first meeting.However, there are many factors that can stop your from achieving your goal.Do not keep anything that the relationship should end and not to overdo the liking someone else to do.

This is why they love sports that makes you seemed desperate.This may seem at the moment, she will start to think about getting your boyfriend back.Act like you're the best advice on how to keep in mind.This could mean the difference you feel noticeably emotional and you also need to be away from your past mistakes.The next step to stopping a breakup, both of you space.

You are a few weeks have passed, if not out of reach, they will just feel stalked!! When you show him that is really important that you out of the obvious when it comes to advice, some of the cause.Usually people can never be able to think twice.Did you say some things you can try to cut off all contact with her and communicate to her about the past to your advantage.After some time to get your girlfriend back - Sign 1Without it, you lose your ex back if all she wants to live one day at a time.

Ex Back Long Distance Relationship

[shynudecollector]

SOURCE: americasfreedomfighters.com BREAKING: Rosie Is FREAKING OUT After She Gets HER LIFE RUINED... Look Who She Is Attacking Now We all know by now that Hollywood is a steaming cess pool of liberal lunacy with the vast majority of directors, actors, and producers serving as the propaganda wing of the progressive movement, believing they are some how daring crusaders for truth, justice, and the socialist way. In reality, most celebrities who are politically active are just annoying blabbermouths who parrot classic liberal talking points so they can pass as 'informed' folk and win SJW points from their rabid left-wing fanbase in hopes of maintaining relevancy and keeping their jobs much longer than they ought. One such celebrity nut job is Rosie O'Donnell, a woman who routinely loses her mind on social media over whatever is the top political story of the day and often gets verbally violent toward conservatives and other people who don't tend to see things her way. Rosie recently put Paul Ryan in her Twitter crosshairs, telling the Speaker of the House to 'go to hell.' Here's more from Fox News: The fierce opponent of President Trump and the newly-passed GOP tax plan lashed out at Ryan on Twitter. 'paul ryan - don't talk about Jesus after what u just did to our nation - u will go straight to hell,' O'Donnell wrote Monday. 'U screwed up fake altar boy,' O'Donnell added. She finished her holiday attack with the hashtag: '#JUDASmuch' in a reference to the disciple who betrayed Jesus. The actress, who has famously tussled with Trump, last week offered to pay two senators $2 million each to vote against the tax bill. Her bribe to Sens. Jeff Flake and Susan Collins didn't work and no GOP senator voted against Trump's signature legislative achievement. So what exactly crawled up O'Donnell's pant leg enough to make her so dang irritable and cranky? Apparently, and anyone who despises Hillary Clinton will get a kick out of this, it was all because of a video. Speaker Ryan posted a Christmas video Saturday morning designed to honor the birth of Jesus Christ, you know, not all that uncommon to hear from a professing believer in Jesus this time of year. However, it must be noted that Ryan wasn't the only target for Rosie as of late. She also harassed conservative powerhouse Ben Shapiro, tweeting this wonderful little gem in his direction: 'Suck my dick Ben.' Initially, Shapiro decided to report the tweet just to see if Twitter would equally enforce their rules and sanction a liberal for being nasty, which they didn't. However, later on, they changed their minds. Rosie is a typical liberal hack clawing desperately to stay in the public eye, using Twitter and other social media outlets as a means for getting noticed and maybe, hopefully, get her career resurrected from the dead. Fortunately for the world at large, it doesn't look like this is going to happen. Guess we ought to thank God for small miracles, eh? Regardless, it's unlikely Shapiro and Ryan really care what some has-been, washed up actress has to say about them personally or their political beliefs, so once again, O'Donnell is only polluting the earth's atmosphere with her wasted hot air. Videos at SACC can use copyrighted content based on fair use fair use laws (https://www.youtube.com/yt/copyright / ...) and (http://ift.tt/UGhVpp) Any violation of policy, community guidelines, copyright law or business cooperation please comment on the video, send us a message, or contact directly by mail: saccnews@gmail.com Support us by SUBSCRIBE here: https://goo.gl/9Coqny by SACC - BREAKING NEWS TODAY