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shinestarhwaa · 7 months

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ILLICIT AFFAIRS || CHO MIYEON

This piece broke me, apologies x

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Miyeon x Fem reader

Word Count: 5.6K

Tags/Warnings: Closeted lesbians, Forbidden Love, High society/Bridgerton inspired, 1800s, Princess!Miyeon, Aged down Miyeon (you and her are both 18 years old), unprotected sex, virginity loss, make outs, fingering, cunnilingus, squirting, scissoring, overstimulation, grinding/humping, emotional damage, heartbreak

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630 @stardragongalaxy @bro-atz @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisg00dgirl @wh0re4yunsangho

ENJOY!

February 10th, 1815

You couldn't help but look at her all night. It was as if the entire world paused and only she, she was moving. In fact, she was moving right into your heart and you swore you could literally feel it swell in your chest.

She was absolutely magnificent in her gown, hair pinned up and a beautiful, shining crown in her hair. The jewelry she wore must cost millions and she truly did look like a million dollars, as they say. If only she'd look at you, right? And if only you were a man of royalty because how else would you ever be with her?

Yes, you were lucky enough to be born in the high society class, in a family that was wealthy, but the smile you wore everyday is fake. Your mother and father didn't marry out of love and they couldn't stand each other, always fighting. Honestly, you were used to it and you could definitely handle it, but that doesn't mean it hasn't had a negative effect on you and your sisters.

All five of them were different from you, they're more to the standard. Alice, Idylia, Florence and Genevieve were all married now to their husbands and the eldest two even had children. Florence and Genevieve both got married last season and your mother now forced you to find a husband this year's season.

You hated it, the way things were arranged in the society, but you couldn't possibly break the rules that have been the standard for so long. But you really do not want to fit into the society's standard, you are too emancipated according to your family and most important of all; you'd have to marry a man while all you can think about is princess Miyeon.

Princess Miyeon and her beautiful hair, her slim body, deer eyes and her elegant manners. You were a little clumsier than that, and you didn't truly mind but somehow you wished you were more elegant and calculated so maybe she'd like you. But you had to get those thoughts out of your head, you told yourself, nothing could ever happen. You are a woman and she's the royal princess, she's the heir, she's to be queen one day. She'll probably be excited to have a king by her side to rule the country with.

But fuck, you wanted her. You had met her long ago and spoke to her a few times because you played together as kids when the adults held their party's or fancy balls if you will. As you and Miyeon turned older she got more reserved, held back and protected by her family. She looked sad though, she must want to be more free.

Suddenly you looked eyes with her and you swore your heart stopped. She flashed you a smile and walked up to you. "Y/N, it is lovely to see you again, it has been a long time, hasn't it?" She said. You bowed to her and smiled kindly. "Princess Miyeon, your grace, I'm glad to see you again too, it has been years indeed."

"The ball is kinda boring, is it not?" She giggled. You smiled, recognizing the mischief she had in her eyes when she was still an innocent child. When the world hadn't caused her pain yet. "It sure is a quiet one," you nodded.

"Do you wanna go for a walk? Let's sneak out," she grinned. It truly was just like old times again. The two of you slipped away from the stunning ballroom and ran through the halls. Your heels were clicking on the floor and your giggles and laughs were echoing throughout the halls.

Miyeon stopped running and entered the balcony, taking a deep breath as she leans on the cold white stone. "Your grace, isn't it too cold to be outside? It is still winter and I do not want you to catch a cold," you said worriedly, stepping onto the balcony with her.

She grinned and sighed. "It does not matter, Y/N. I'm just glad I finally can breathe again. I love the fresh air and I hate staying inside all day, drinking tea with my mother. Ever since my father died she's been so..."

Miyeon stopped talking and sighed. Your heart sank, remembering the terrible news from last year when it was announced the queen's husband; king Theodore had fallen sick and passed away in his sleep.

"It has been hard on her, and now she's making it even harder for me because she's pushing me to get married and have children so there'll be more heirs."

Princess Miyeon is the only child of Queen Isabella and the late king Theodore, as they hadn't spend much time together in their younger years due to wars and battles. Queen Isabella raised her on her own while also ruling the country. You had felt bad for Miyeon, it must be a tough and lonely life for her. Maybe, just maybe, you could spend more time with her, as a friend?

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

April 29th 1815

Time passed and you and Miyeon had actually gotten closer to her as a friend. The queen was glad Miyeon had a lady of great class that Miyeon could trust so she elected you to be the princess' court. You'd spend a lot of time with her, the queen told you, and to be honest you couldn't be happier.

In public you were very professional but behind closed doors you joked and played around like every normal 18-year old girl. You drank tea together and discussed all the drama and gossip going around and you shared wisdom with one another, reading books together.

Today Miyeon was feeling particularly mischievous and she took you with her to one of the big libraries in the palace. You were checking out the books when all of a sudden her voice called out to you.

''Y/N, What do you know about the marital act?''

You froze and looked at her. ''The marital act? You mean the wedding night... occurrence?'' ''Yeah, do you know what that is?'' You sat on the couch next to her and looked at the book she held in her hands. ''I don't know much about that, actually, my family has never told me about it except for my sister Florence. She told me there's a thing that married people do and that's how children are made.''

Miyeon nodded and opened the dusty book. It revealed texts about the marital act with pictures and details of male and female anatomy. ''That's what a naked man looks like? That is the...'' ''That's the penis,'' you said, nodding. ''It looks strange,'' Miyeon comments. You nodd and sigh. ''I agree, I'm not really... attracted to it. Or the man,'' you say. You mentally slap yourself for basically confirming your sexuality but Miyeon seems to skip over it.

''I have never seen it before. I have only seen myself naked.''

You felt like your skin was on fire, why did she have to talk about her being naked? As if you hadn't imagined that enough already. ''Are women's bodies different?'' she asks. You grin and play with your bracelet nervously. ''You're a curious one, for sure. Well, me and my sisters' bodies are all different... Some of them are taller, some have bigger breasts, some of them have bigger buttocks or thighs...''

''And the... crotch area? Is that the same?'' Your cheeks were bright red about now. ''T-The crotch area? You mean the... the vulva. I haven't seen my sisters', that is a little... inappropriate.'' Miyeon nodds, understanding that it's a more private matter. ''Sometimes I think about what it would be like to touch another woman's body. I wonder if it's different,'' she confesses.

You can feel your pussy clench around nothing, and you were most definitely aroused now. It was only because of Florence - who is definitely your favourite sister - that you learned about what arousal is and what you can do about it, what you can to do yourself. Even though you don't understand the entire concept of these so called 'sexual' acts and feelings, your instinct is to touch yourself between your legs and now you definitely feel the desire to do the same to her.

Fuck.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

May 11th, 1815

It has been about two weeks since your feelings for the crown princess started to develop into something more. You felt such affection and fondness while looking at her. You wanted to kiss her lips and carress her, and also undress her and lay naked with her, desiring to feel pleasure with her. You secretly stole the book from the library and in the back there were several drawings that were vague and nearly crossed out, but you could see well enough that the drawings and texts were about sex between women.

You had never seen, heard or read anything like this but you could not stop. At every waking moment you wanted to look at the drawings again, imagining princess Miyeon and yourself and at night you touched yourself. You did it all night long, dreaming about her and her body. You thought you might be delusional because you felt like she might be experiencing the same things. Did she not say she wanted to touch another woman?

When you showed up in her room you felt some sense of guilt, because you felt like it was the most horrible thing in the world to do. But her sweet and kind smile and her beautiful feminity made you forget that guilt. She seeked more touch than before, giving you hugs, holding onto your arm and hand and she even gave you a kiss on the cheek when you left her last Tuesday night.

Miyeon's welcome was warm as always and you sat in her room without any guards, just hanging out as two normal girls, not caring about your statusses. Once again Miyeon started to talk about the sexbook and you hold back a frustrated groan. You just nodd along and listen to her rants as she keeps on talking and babbling about it.

''So I don't know if I would ever have sex again if I had a child. Sex with a man doesn't interest me much. Would it not be easier to be with a woman? Know how the body works? It seems like... like a good time,'' she finally says, leaving you with your mouth wide open. What did she just say?

''You feel that too?'' you breathed out. ''I do... Maybe all women feel like that. I think women are prettier, more delicate.'' You literally could not breathe at this point, your core aching for her. ''Have you ever kissed anyone, your grace?'' Miyeon shook her head. ''No, but I have read about it and I saw other people doing it.'' ''Ah, I understand,'' You nodded.

''Would you like to kiss me, Y/N?'' She swiftly and suddenly said. You gasped a little as Miyeon scooched closer to you, her leg brushing up against yours. ''I... I would like that, princess,'' you nodded. Miyeon rested her soft and dainty hand on your cheek, carressing your face ever so gently. You leaned in and pressed your lips on hers, pecking her softly before pulling back. A fire broke out in your body, it was burning with passion as you stared into her eyes. Miyeon licked her lips and closed the space between you, pulling you close and putting your lips together again.

Her head tilted to the right as your lips moved together. It felt so nice and smooth and you felt the desire to deepen the kiss more. You pulled her even closer and felt her torso against yours, the sensation of your chests coming together sent a lightning bolt straight to your core. Her hands ran through your hair now, as yours ran over her back and hips. The material of her expensive dress felt so nice in your hand you wanted to keep touching it but you desired to feel her skin even more.

Your hands now slid from her back to her buttocks and you grabbed it, pinching and squeezing it. She whimpered softly, lips parted against yours. The princess slid her tongue in your mouth, slowly gliding it against your own and tasting each other's saliva. You felt so warm, like you'd combust. To your disappointment she pulled away from you after a few minutes, panting softly.

How were the two of you ever gonna move on from this?

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

May 20th, 1815

Apparently, you did not have to move on from it, because it kept happening. Miyeon kept kissing you from morning 'til late at night, in her room, hallways and secret places. Your hands, lips and tongues were all over each others ever since the first time. You're in the library once again and you lifted her on the dark wooden table in the center of the room. Your tongue glides over her neck and she throws her head back, moaning out softly.

Miyeon tugs down the top of her dress so that her breasts pop out. You curse underneath your breath and pepper kisses from her neck and collarbones down to her chest. Your hands reach up to her breasts and fondle them gently, watching her face closely. You kiss them and then close your lips around her left nipple, licking and sucking on it. She mewls and squirms underneath your touch and instinctively widens her legs.

''Y-Y/N,'' she moaned softly. The princess takes your dominant hand in hers and brings it underneath her dress, to her crotch. Your hand grazes the fabric of her underwear and it's so wet, so goddamn wet.

''You're so aroused, aren't you, my princess?'' You teased as you rubbed over her clothed crotch. ''Y-Yes, my lady, my Y/N, I'm so hot right now, please, I have read so many texts about this and I want it, I want it, please, I know you can make me feel good, please, God, I want it!'' she begged.

A smirk played on your lips and you pushed the bombastic skirt of her dress up and pulled her underwear down, revealing her glistening wet cunt. You looked at it up close, admiring how it's similar and yet a little different than your own. But it was wet in the exact same slick way yours got when you thought about the princess.

''I'm going to touch you now,'' you announced, spreading her legs wider. Your fingers slid through her folds, collecting her juices before pushing one finger inside her. ''Relax,'' you ordered her as you felt her body tense up. She nodded and watched you pump your finger in and out of her pussy slowly.

When you noticed her body relaxing you moved it faster and harder, opening her up before adding a second finger. You scissor your fingers inside her and curl them just right so it hits all the sweet spots inside her. You take off her panties and stuff them in her own mouth to keep her quiet. Her pussy clenches around your fingers and you decide to use your other hand to play with her clit. This is one of those times where you're thankful for having perfect co-ordination between your hands.

The princess is squeeling, whimpering and squirming as you move your fingers faster and put pressure on her clit. Her body tenses again and you know she's close to orgasming. You keep going and rub her clit even faster. ''That's it, princess, you're gonna come for me now, you'll come like the perfect princess you are,'' you breathed out, surprised at your own vulgar talk.

In a matter of seconds Miyeon came undone, coming and squirting so hard on your fingers, arousal seeping out of her pussy. She drenches herself and you in her juices and you ride out her orgasm before retracting your fingers from her wet hole.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

May 23rd, 1815

The Queen threw another party in her gigantic ballroom for the debutants and other ladies to find a suitor and both you and Miyeon were expectant to look for one tonight, but you sneaked off again. This time she brought you to a room full of artworks that were just collecting dust, meaning barely anyone came here in the past weeks, if not months.

She crashed her lips on yours again, sinking into your embrace and feeling your warm body against hers. You pulled away minutes later and panted, wiping the lipgloss from your cheek. "Princess, should we be doing this here?"

"Y/N, my dearest I keep thinking about you. About your hand between my legs, and your lips on my breasts, but that is not all. I think about your kind and beautiful face, your beautiful laugh and your golden heart. I think... I think I might have fallen in love with you, my dear."

You gasped softly, stunned at the sudden confession from the heir. "But princess, do you not know this is impossible? You need to find a suitor to be your king, you have to focus on ruling the country. It is... definitely not possible for us to be anything," you muttered.

Her eyes became glassy, welling up with tears, but as she learned she held them in. "But Y/N, I love you," she whispered. Her hand carressed your cheek softly, her fingers grazing your jaw. "Our love isn't impossible, I know you want me too."

"But the situation is impossible, in years you'll be the queen and you cannot... you cannot be a queen without a king and children. And even if you were, you couldn't be a queen who loved another woman. It's scandalous!"

"If I'm the queen can't I just... change the rules?" "You know damn well that you can't, Miyeon, you'll be a queen and not God" you spat. "Well fuck God, to hell with God!" You gasped and palmed her mouth. "Do not shout these things princess, please, we'll get caught and you'll get in a blasphemy scandal."

She took a deep breath and took your hands in hers. "I only want to be by your side. Can we do at least that?"

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

June 4th, 1815

You just came back to the palace from a long walk with the princess, which was more of a date because you felt like you were out with your lover. You talked about the world and about happy things while you held hands and laughed. Now you brought her back to her room and before the staff got to say anything Miyeon told them that you would be helping her get a bath and get ready for bed. You bowed to the staff and send them off, then closing the doors to Miyeon's room.

She pushed you up against them immediately. The gold ornaments on the door was gold on your chest but the hands gripping your buttocks firmly set you on fire once again. "Finally we are all alone," she whimpered in your ear as she pressed herself against you. You felt her breasts on your back and you wanted to turn around but her grip was surprisingly strong this time.

The princess grinded her crotch against your behind while her hands traveled up to your chest, pulling your dress down so your breasts sprung free. That's when she spun you around and fondled your breasts, kneeding them and massaging them just the way you like it. "Y/N, you drive me crazy, these... these beautiful breasts of yours, I wanna hold them all day long and I wanna touch you while I drown in your eyes," she sighs, kissing your breasts and lapping her tongue at your nipples.

"Why don't you drown between my legs instead?" You moaned softly, smirking slightly. You helped yourself and the princess out of your dresses and underwear, seeing each other completely naked for the very first time. Miyeon pulled you to the bed and you laid down on it together, embracing one another. "You're a beautiful woman, Y/N," she says with a smile, caressing your hip gently. "As are you, your grace." She laid you against her soft pillows and spread your legs wide. "I can not wait to taste you, my dear," she breathed out. "Then don't wait, please, do it, now." She nodds and licked a stripe up your wet pussy, tasting your arousal and smirking.

Her tongue glides along your folds, licking you up and again, and again until she tries to push it into your hole. You mewl and quickly cover your mouth with your right hand, stifling yourself as much as you could. After a few minutes of her tongue pumping and licking your inner walls she pulls out and finds your sensitive clit instead.

You cry out and grab the sheets tightly with your fists and moan at the sensation. It's one thing rubbing your clit with your own fingers but having the most beautiful woman on earth licking and sucking on it was something else. It didn't take Miyeon long to make you come undone on her tongue, lapping up your arousal as your body squirms.

When you gain your breath again you pull her on top of you, feeling her breasts on yours and rubbing them together slightly as you make out with her again. You notice yourself becoming impatient and wanting more so you flip yourselves over, getting on top of the princess. She looks at you with her big and beautiful brown eyes, patiently waiting with hunger in her eyes, curious as to what you're planning to do now.

You spread her legs and lift the right one up, letting it rest on your shoulder. She gasps as you align your sexes together, arousals colliding as you do so. "God, baby, Y/N, what are you doing to me?" She moaned. "I'm going to make love to you, princess, and I can do this sweetly, but I could also fuck you, fuck you hard," you grunted as you slowly rubbed your pussy on hers. "God, that sounds so good, please, that's what I want, Y/N, please do it hard and make me cum again," she begged. "Say no more, my princess," you nodded.

You started to rub your crotch on hers quicker, aligning your clits together and sparking a fire between your bodies. Both of your whimpers, moans and pleads were slowly becoming louder and louder, no longer thinking about keeping things quiet.

"Yes, yes, Y/N, that's so good, that feels amazing, my love, please do it harder, oh! O-oh that's good, yes! Please!"

Miyeon was a loud one, squeeling and moaning, nearly screaming as you quite literally rocked her world. The headboard of the bed was banging against the wall as you kept riding and grinding on her at a fast pace. The tension between you two was growing and both of you were getting close. You held each other as tight as you could while grinding together and quickly you both came, arousal dripping out of you and moans becoming a beautiful set of sinful harmonies.

When you stopped and laid down next to her, Miyeon still hadn't had enough, spreading your legs and putting her pussy on yours once again. She was still so sensitive from her previous orgasm, as were you, so it didn't take long before she started moving quicker and harder, moaning loudly. She threw her head back, her hair coming undone and falling onto her shoulders in lucious shiny curls.

Miyeon presses her lips onto yours as she keeps rocking into you, moaning into your mouth as she comes again in a matter of minutes, squirting on your pussy. "Fuck, fuck, princess!" You moaned against her lips. You flipped her over again, laying her down. The princess' head is laying over the edge of the bed and you set yourself back in the familiar position, grinding on her pussy, her pelvis, her thigh, you rubbed your pussy everywhere, chasing your own high.

"Yes, Y/N, Fuck! Use me! Rub it on me baby, rub it on me, use my body and make yourself come, give it to me, come for me!" You screamed loud and came, shuddering and shaking and falling on top of the princess. The two of you laid there for a while, sweaty and panting.

After a while you stood up and helped the princess up, carrying her to the bathtub. You drew the bath and helped her get in, massaging her skin and scrubbing her while pressing soft kisses on her lips. "I wish we could do that all day long," she sighed. "Me too," you nodded, washing her hair. "I love you, Y/N, You're my dearest love." You sighed but smiled and kissed her. It hurt you when she said those things, because you were realistic enough to know this was gonna end badly and you'd end up in pain. So you didn't ever say it back. But she knew.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

June 15th 1815

''Miyeon, my dearest,'' Queen Isabella said, ''I have found you a suitor! He will be attending the ball next Saturday. You will have to look your absolute best, yes?''

You swallowed thickly, looking down at the teacup in your lap. You tried hard to stay calm, and not to scream 'No! Don't take her from me just yet!' but you knew there was no use. If it's the Queen's orders Miyeon would have to obey her wishes. Miyeon nodded and cleared her throat. ''Yes mother... May I ask what he looks like? What his name is? Where he is from? Because... I would rather marry out of love but if I cannot then I will at least have to know who I marry, right?''

''That is not important. He is a good man, he is from France and we shall hold the wedding soon, after the two of you meet.''

Miyeon nodded, but she stayed quiet the entire time. When the Queen had left and you asked for a private conversation she bursted out in tears. ''Y/N,'' she cried, ''I do not want to marry that French prince, I wanna stay by your side!'' ''My princess, I will be on your side, except our situation will be different. You understand that what has been happening can not happen again.'' She sighed and brushed some hair out of her face and dried her cheeks. ''Not until after the wedding. I can still do whatever I want right now.''

The sovereign pulled you close in her arms and kissed your lips and then your neck. Her hands slid over the material of your dress and she pulled the skirt up, grazing your soft thighs. ''Oh, princess,'' you sighed out when her hand slid into your underwear, cupping your sex. She rubbed your folds as she kissed and sucked on your neck. ''Miyeon, oh God,'' you moaned when she entered you with two fingers. You wanted to stop her, tell her it would only hurt more if the two of you would continue this illicit affair, but you could not stop her. The power of her love and her being was too strong for you, and so you let her.

Her slender fingers pumped in and out of your pussy, making you wetter and moan her name into her mouth as she kisses you. It did not take long for you to come undone on her fingers, falling into her embrace.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

June 18th, 1815

Watching the love of your life meet her future husband was killing you inside. What was worse than that is the fact he was making her laugh and he was touching her hand. The hand that only belonged to you, the hand that fucked you just a few hours ago. Louis, was the guys name and you found him a snob, an arrogant man. Why was she laughing at everything he said?

You knew you tended to overthink certain situations but the way she looked at him showed you she was fond of him and you could not watch it any longer. You took a glass of champagne and drank the entire thing in a matter of seconds before exiting the ballroom. You sat in the hallway, where staff walked around but did not give a damn about how you fell to your knees and cried out. You were losing your love and nobody gave a damn.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

June 19th, 1815

''He's not too bad, luckily,'' Miyeon sighed after she told you about her fiancé. ''Not too bad? You were drooling all over him,'' you scoffed. ''Y/N, please, if I had a choice you know it would be you, not him. I'm just saying I'm glad he's not a total... twat.'' ''He is a twat, he is stealing you from me. You might end up with someone but what about me? I will not be living in a golden palace and I will not be having anyone's children and-''

''Y/N, for one moment, will you think about me?'' ''ALL, I think about, is you princess. You are my thoughts, you are my life, you are it.'' ''You have said yourself that this would hurt and it would not work out even before I did, why are you suddenly verbally attacking me? You knew this was going to happen.''

''So that means I cannot have feelings about this? That means I cannot hate him and feel outraged that he will kiss you and hold you while I rot away in my parents house?'' ''Y/N, please, I will be heartbroken too if I can never hold you again but you knew it was coming. This is not new information. I might be with you but I am still your princess!''

You swallowed your pride and looked down, nodding and taking a deep breath. ''Yes, your grace, princess.'' The tone in your voice was enough for Miyeon to know you drew a line. ''Come on, Y/N, do not do this, we still have a little while,'' she says, trying to take your hand but you step away and bow for her. ''I will not let you cheat on your fiancé, my princess, I shall head home now.'' You bowed once again and left princess Miyeon alone, in tears.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

June 21st, 1815

You were a weak woman, because only days later you were back in bed with Miyeon. Her body felt warm and delicate against your own skin. ''Princess,'' you called out softly. ''Do not speak, Y/N, do not say anything to... to stop this moment.'' You nodd and close the gap between your lips. They move together as you get on top of the beauty. You spread her bare legs and put your crotch on hers. The contact feels so good you throw your head back as you roll your hips forward. You bite back a moan as you bit your lips, breathing picking up as you grind your clit on hers.

''Y/N, Dear, please move faster, please make me finish on your beautiful cunt!'' she pleaded, holding your hips tight. ''Yes darling, my princess I'll make you come again, that is my duty.''

Your hands moved to her naked chest, fondling her breasts as you fucked yourself on her crotch, chasing your on relief. Miyeon was moaning over and over again, nails clawing in the soft flesh of your buttocks. ''Do it harder, harder!'' she screamed. ''Oh my God, oh my God!'' she squeeled when you did her just right. She moved her body along with yours and came hard, eyes rolling back to her brain. The sight of her coming for you made you come as well. You rode out your highs before getting off her but keeping her legs spread.

Miyeon whimpered when she felt two of your fingers dip into her core and she clenched around them. ''Y/N, please, t-too sensitive!'' she cried, but you did not care, you wanted to leave a memory and make her orgasm over and over again. Her arousal was seeping out of her cunt as you moved your fingers inside her quickly. Miyeon's breathing was picking up and with just a few more thrusts she squirted over your hand, coating you in her slick. Without giving her a chance to gain her breath again you kept going, determined.

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

June 26th, 1815

The wedding bells were loud, too loud actually for you. It was incredibly hard to hold back the thick tears welling up in your eyes as you watched Miyeon walk out with her prince, her husband. It made you feel nauseous, you wanted to throw up and run away, cry, scream and disappear, knowing you have now lost her to someone else.

You bow to her and congratulate her as she walks by, and when she gets into the carriage you run away. You do not even know where you are running to but you are running, running far away from the church. You end up in the field you once sat in with her and you fell to your knees, not caring your dress would get dirty. You laid in the grass and looked up to the sky while tears fell from your eyes, rolling down your cheek. You missed her dearly, already, and this was only day one. From now on there would be a lifetime without her. Without anyone ever knowing she was once yours.

And that's the thing about illicit affairs And clandestine meetings and longing stares It's born from just one single glance But it dies, and it dies, and it dies A million little times

#kpop #shinestarhwaa #gidle #g idle #smut #miyeon #cho miyeon #miyeon x reader

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bgwlsmahf25 · 7 months

Text

Reassurance

Pairing: Natasha x fem! reader; Wanda x fem! reader (platonic)

Genre: hurt/ comfort

Summary: Natasha finds you upset and reassures you that she’s not going anywhere

Warnings: upset! reader; tears; angst

Word count: 483

a/n: still getting used to making my fanfics public but loving writing them! let me know if you have any requests (characters I write for are in my masterlist). I don’t write smut

“Hey y/n, haven’t seen you – hey, are you okay?” Wanda crouched down beside you, her face showing concern.

You nodded, head buried in between your arms. You felt your bed shift slightly as Wanda sat down next to you, her hand running softly over your back. “What’s wrong detka?” she asked gently.

“I’m fine, Wands,” you murmured. “Can you go, I want to be alone.”

Wanda kept running her hand over your back and then removed it. “Sure.” You could hear the hesitation in her voice and knew she didn’t want to leave you. “Shall I get Natasha?”

“No, I’ll go find her later.”

Wanda pressed a kiss to the top of your head and then left, the door clicking shut behind her. Pulling your head out of your arms, you wiped at the fresh tears on your cheeks. You hated being mean to Wanda when she had been nothing but kind to you, but you didn’t need anyone to see you so upset, especially not Natasha. Unfortunately, you knew Wanda too well and suspected that Natasha would be making an appearance very shortly.

You were right. Minutes later, there was a knock on the door. When you didn’t answer, the knock came again and then the door slowly opened, revealing your girlfriend’s worried face. Natasha saw your tears and the slump of your shoulders and came over to you, the door swinging shut behind her. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine, Natty,” you whispered, wiping furiously at the tears on your cheeks. “Wanda didn’t need to get you.”

“She didn’t need to, but I’m glad she did.” Natasha sat down next to you, pulling you towards her into a one-armed hug. “What’s going on?” When there was still silence, Natty turned to look at you, raising a brow slightly. “Y/n… Please. Talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled into her shoulder.

“Sorry about what, baby?”

“I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you,” you said, looking at her with tear-stained cheeks. “I’m too damaged, I’ve been through a lot and you – you deserve someone better,” your voice broke at the thought of Natasha leaving you and fresh tears started.

“Y/n, baby, how could I ever deserve anyone but you?” Natasha took your hands in hers. “I love you, sweetheart. You’re way better than me, trust me, I have a lot more mistakes in my past – mistakes I cannot undo,” she admitted, showing a slightly more vulnerable side. “We’ve both been through a lot, everyone in the compound has. But it’s you that I want at the end of the day, okay?”

You sniffled and nodded, leaning your head on her shoulder. Natasha wrapped her arms around you, planting a soft kiss to the top of your head. You closed your eyes, breathing in her scent and feeling your body calm down.

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you too, baby,” she replied.

#fanfiction #fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha alianovna romanova

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jaegeraether · 10 months

Text

Sunsets and footballers (Part 16)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (16)

Masterlist (other parts here)

Lucy was paying when she heard the yelling. Usually, she wouldn’t think much of it, but in that moment, her body reacted instinctively as her head whipped around. She couldn’t see outside but at the distinctive smashing of glass, she ran before she knew she was. Her knee complained as she negotiated the corner of the restaurant to the front door at pace, and the cold night hit her hard, but not harder than the sight of her girlfriend, limp in the front seat of her car, covered in glass and… blood. Lucy was shoved backwards as three girls took off up the street, but Lucy couldn’t give a fuck, she was at YFN’s door in a heartbeat, grabbing at the handle. The door was locked, fuck. She was starting to panic out of pure fear for her little Australian splattered in blood, tears welling in her eyes. She reached her hand through the broken glass, earning herself a few scrapes but not caring. She pulled the lock and almost wrenched the door off its fucking hinges.

“No! No - little one.. fuck….fuck!”

Her head was tilted, almost resting on her shoulder, and the blood. It was everywhere. She spotted the brick on the driver’s seat and her stomach dropped.

“No - please no…” She was crying as her hand found the far side of her head, hoping her spine wasn’t damaged. YFN shifted, lifting her head a little and Lucy let herself breathe the smallest sigh of relief. No neck injury. She gently lifted her head. The brick had left a gash just above her eyebrow, though the impact area had been slightly larger. Lucy ripped off her shirt and pressed it to the wound, trying to stop the blood running like a river down her face. Lucy was covered in blood and was shaking, terrified.

“Please wake up… please.. I’m so sorry. I…”

As if she’d heard the words, YFN groaned, her lips trembling as she slowly became conscious again. Her eyes fluttered open for a second and shut immediately, squeezing tight from the pain.

“L….Luce…”

“Right here. I’m right here, I’m so sorry my love. This is all my fault. I’m sorry-” Her voice broke. “Please stay awake. Please.”

“I f..feel sick. It hurts.”

“I know, my love. Stay strong for me, please. We’ll be at the hospital soon.”

A crowd had gathered around but they were all useless, standing back and taking photos rather than helping. Especially when they realised it was Lucy Bronze.

“I’m going to get you to the hospital. Little one, do you think you can hold this to your head for a second?”

She helped to lift YFN’s trembling hand to the shirt on her head and ran around to the driver’s side, throwing the brick in the back seat and jumping in. She placed her hand over YFN’s, pressing it down and pushing her head into the seat. She whimpered.

“Sorry… sorry my love, we need to keep your head up. We need to keep the pressure on. Stay awake for me please..” She tried to sound calm under pressure but everything she said was rushed with fear. She’s just glad her neck wasn’t broken.

Lucy sped towards the hospital, not giving a fuck about traffic or lights or laws. She picked up the little Australian who’d stolen her heart and again, ignoring the pain throbbing through her knee, she carried her into the Emergency Department, shouting.

Several hours, scans and stitches later, they were in a private room. YFN was unconscious. They’d made her stay awake for several hours during the questions from staff and police, treatments and for monitoring purposes afterwards, but now she was sleeping softly, a bandage covering the stitches across the top of her left eyebrow. Lucy couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t stop her thoughts. Her eyes drifted over YFN. Here she was, the woman who’d dropped into her life out of absolutely nowhere. She’d had no idea who Lucy was. No idea about football. Nothing beyond that big, kind and caring heart of hers that always wanted the best for the people around her, regardless of herself. She’d seen Lucy at her best, and her worst, and loved her through all of it. But better than that, she’d understood her through all of it. Lucy would be lying to herself if she hadn’t thought about ending it, purely for YFN’s own sake. But that was just a flicker of an option she knew she’d never have the strength to do. The baggage that came with Lucy was significant, and she knew that, but she could never have expected something as dramatic as this. God, she loved the woman. She loved her. And she hadn’t even had a chance to tell her yet. She wanted to go to sleep next to her and wake next to her every day. She wanted to travel with her, experience new things, new foods, new movies… anything. Anything. With her. And no, they hadn’t known each other long at all, but Lucy knew. She’d been around. She understood. This was it, this was her home, her future. She’d accomplished a lot in life, football having been the most important thing to her, but she knew she’d drop it in a heartbeat for her. The tears fell silently as she thought about YFN and all she’d been through. She struggled to comprehend how she was single, and so closed off from letting people into her life. But she’d let Lucy in, and Lucy took that seriously. She wasn’t going anywhere.

Lucy had sent a few messages to her lawyers; they were going to press charges. She’d also messaged Jordan, knowing that she needed to tell her before she saw the photos online. Jordan had lost her mind, wanting to come back, but Lucy had said no. YFN wouldn’t want that. She wouldn’t want to inconvenience her and her training, and they both knew it. Jordan agreed eventually, offering to tell Katie and Caitlin, though she also wouldn’t be getting much sleep that night.

The photos leaked quickly with Lucy receiving multiple texts and phone calls. She ignored almost all of them except her family, Sarina, Alexia and her Barca coach. She even ignored Keira.

Her body uncontrollably shook with another wave of sadness, and she tilted her cheek into YFN’s palm. Her thumb stroked her cheek.

“Luce..?”

Lucy’s head whipped up. “You shouldn’t be awake…”

Her eyes were sleepy, and her brow furrowed in pain as she saw Lucy’s red eyes. “Come here.” She whispered. Lucy opened her mouth to argue but YFN wasn’t having any of it. “You need to sleep, and I need you. Come here.”

Lucy made her way carefully into the bed next to her, sliding under the covers. Her bicep pillowed itself under YFN’s neck and wrapped around her collarbones, while the other pulled her gently back into her. Her lips kissed her sun-kissed hair, and her cheek rested itself gently on her temple.

“Sleep please…” She mumbled as she drifted off to sleep again, much more comfortable and warm than she was before. Lucy slept.

Her head was pounding when she woke. Lucy was already awake, of course, pacing on her phone, talking in hushed whispers to not wake her up. She spotted her and ended the call, immediately by her side. YFN had some water, and painkillers, with the doctor coming in to explain the damage. They were concerned about the impact to her brain, though the results from their scans thus-far had been positive. They wanted to keep her in for another night to assess her. The main thing she craved was a shower and clean clothes, and she told Lucy the same. She’d said that clean clothes were on the way, and seemed a little like she was omitting some details, but YFN was in too much pain to care.

Lucy helped her out of the bed and to their shower. She undressed her with care and showered with her, making sure she was never too far away in case she stumbled or needed her. It was exactly what YFN needed. She needed Lucy right there; she needed to feel her and know she wasn’t going anywhere. Lucy’s hands glided over her in the shower, soaping her up and massaging her tight neck and shoulders after sleeping in a hospital bed. YFN groaned at the feel, turning around to face a tired looking Lucy. Lucy’s green eyes met hers a little blurry as she realised that she must have taken her contacts out and didn’t have her glasses.

“I can hear you thinking from here..”

“Lots to think about.” Lucy murmured.

YFN felt her stomach drop a little, worry seeping in. “Please don’t leave me..”

Lucy was startled by this, and then she understood where it was coming from. “I’m too selfish to ever do that, even if it is what’s best for you.”

Lucy admitting weakness was a rarity, but it just proved to YFN that Lucy was just as self-aware as she was. She breathed an obvious sigh of relief. “What now?”

“Now… we have clean clothes coming-”

“-and glasses I hope.”

Lucy chuckled. “And glasses. Firstly, I want us to leave this fucking city as soon as you’re discharged tomorrow. My lawyers are working on pressing charges. I’m unsure about the rest. I was supposed to leave for Barca in 3 days, and I need to cancel my session today, so I have a few phone calls to make.”

YFN kissed her jaw, her lips brushing up to her ear and back. Lucy shuddered. “I’m really happy to be leaving the city, I’m excited for Manchester and Birmingham and your family, and Dory. As for the charges…” Lucy gave her a look that said it wasn’t an option, but she was already in agreement. “…I’m fully on board. We need to talk lawyer costs though.” Lucy shook her head, but she continued. “But Luce, you’re not cancelling your flight to Barca. And you’re not cancelling your session today. I know its hard because of how fresh this is… but this is your career, and I will not accept you pushing that aside. We’ll still have our third date. You’ll still get me settled in with Dory.. and I’m safe in the hospital. I need to know that these… maniacs… haven’t affected our lives because they don’t get that. They can smash my head open with a brick-” Lucy winced, “-but they’re not taking anything else from us. They’re not affecting your career. They’re not getting me deported. And they’re definitely not ruining what we have..” To be honest, they were even closer than they would have been without all of the drama happening.

Lucy wasn’t keen on the idea, but she knew there was no arguing. If YFN was safe, and they were okay, then she was right, the stalkers didn't get to take anything else from them.

They finished up in the shower and dried off when a knock came at the door. Lucy lifted YFN up, leaving her sitting safely on the sink before exiting in a towel to get the door. YFN heard murmurs and then Lucy was back with a bag of clothes. They got dressed and YFN found Lucy’s glasses, putting them on her gently. She could see Lucy’s eyes coming into full focus again as she placed them on her. A smile crossed her face, followed by a little wince at the sight of the swelling around the bandage. Lucy took her head incredibly gently between her hands and kissed her eyebrow near the wound. Lucia Roberta ‘Tough’ Bronze. In reality, she’d been the most gentle human when it came to YFN.

They exited the room to see Leah sitting in one of the chairs, patiently waiting. YFN couldn’t help the confusion, but Lucy was quick to explain. “Leah’s still off with her ACL, and she lives in town. She called when she saw the photos, and Leah being Leah, offered to help.”

“We definitely appreciate it… thanks Leah.” She gave a genuine smile to the England Captain, feeling a little wobbly.

“You’re welcome, and I don’t want to intrude.. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” She stood looked a little awkward, her hands going to her back pockets, and then out to her front pockets.

“You’re not intruding at all, I think Lucy is headed off soon..” She looked at Lucy who frowned at that. “So I appreciate any company I can get.”

Leah relaxed a little and wandered over to the bed as YFN climbed back in, sitting up. “I heard you’re in here overnight?”

“One more night.” Lucy replied for her. “She’s still dizzy and sick, and a little foggy.” She turned to YFN, fluffing the pillow up behind her back. “I need you to eat today, please. Plenty of water also. Let the nurse know if you feel like you’re getting worse. I’m just a call away.”

YFN nodded, leaning forward to accept the kiss she planted on her forehead before her lips trailed down and found her lips gently. “Anything goes wrong. You. Call.”

YFN smiled at her persistence, her dimple on full display. Lucy admired her a little longer before she gave Leah a look that demanded she also do the same. Leah nodded and Lucy left, albeit unwillingly.

“I understand if you can’t stay.. I just wanted Lucy to feel a bit better about leaving me here after…” She gestured to her head.

Leah smiled and YFN could see what Jordan meant when she’d spoken about her falling for her smile. Leah was adorable.

“I’m happy to stay a while, it keeps my brain from going all sorts of funny places while I’m not training.”

YFN gestured to the bottom of the bed and Leah joined her, crossing one leg, keeping her other extended.

“You’re not training at all?”

“Off and on. I’m allowed two days a week at the minute. The rest is cardio and gym work to keep myself fit.”

“You must be dying to get back out there.”

“Yeah, it’s very difficult to be honest. I miss it so, so much. I’m dying to get back out there with the girls.”

YFN and Leah chatted for a while, getting more comfortable with each other. From their conversation, YFN realised that Leah was quietly intelligent, incredibly kind, and humble. She could see clearly why she was the Captain of the England squad. They spoke about her knee, her career, her Captaincy, as well as YFN’s life in Australia, her motivations and even her relationship with Lucy. Leah had known Lucy for a long time, and even though she was Jordan’s best friend and had no doubt seen Lucy at her worst during the years, she was a big advocate of hers. This surprised YFN as she was Keira’s best friend, and they had been together for several years. Though, Leah’s willingness to advocate so loyally for Lucy made her feel like Keira must have been fine with their relationship.

The more she got to know her, the harder it was for her to understand why she would have left Jordan. They seemed like two pieces of a puzzle. She brought Jordan happiness and support; Jordan brought her peace and kindness. Eventually, of course, the topic shifted to Jordan. Leah admitted that she’d wanted to talk to YFN a while about it because she’d become so close to Jordan and was ‘healthily on the outside of the female football drama’.

YFN knew it took courage and trust to admit what she did, but she did it anyways. Leah had felt overwhelmed in the position she found herself in, being Captain of England, and seeing that her girlfriend was so upset being the last choice for both Arsenal, and England when she worked so hard. Leah felt like she was being torn apart as she was in the biased position of dating one of the players least used by the teams. She knew Jordan was a fantastic player. She had nothing but kindness to say about her as a person, and a player, but she felt like she was betraying Jordan by not sticking up for her with Sarina, and with Jonas. It was absolutely not her place to choose squads and she knew that, and she knew that Jordan knew that also. She’d said that Jordan tried to not show how upset it made her, she’d keep it to herself because she didn’t want any pressure on Leah. Leah knew that Jordan never expected her to be an exception, but it still didn’t stop the pain in her heart and the thoughts in her head being stuck in the middle.

Leah admittedly didn’t cry often, but she was crying as she spoke about Jordan.

“It was the biggest mistake of my life. I was so weak." She said as YFN handed her tissues. “I loved her. I… I love her.”

YFN knew that it must have taken a lot for Leah to admit this all to her, especially when they didn’t know each other well. She was pouring her heart out to her because YFN was currently the closest she could get to Jordan. She knew this and told Leah how much she appreciated how open she was being.

“I can’t…speak for Jordan. She’s her own person. But I can tell her your side, Leah. Maybe then she’ll be willing to listen and have a proper conversation with you. I think you two both need to be in a room to talk this out because regardless of what happens, I know that you were really good friends, and you shouldn’t lose that..”

Leah was appreciative, and YFN knew that the outcome was exactly what she’d hoped for. They spent a bit longer together, playing cards and such before Caitlin arrived with someone YFN had never met before, Kyra Cooney-Cross. They’d said that Katie was stuck in interviews and couldn’t make it until later. Leah greeted them and took her leave, needing to go for a suit fitting for an upcoming carpet event.

Kyra was a cute little Australian also, with the personality of a cheeky kid. Caitlin had apparently been trying to ‘keep her in check’.

“A brick?!” Kyra asked, shocked.

“Fucking unbelievable. This is bullshit. Are you takin’ them to court?” Caitlin asked as they were all sitting on the bed, playing Uno.

“Lucy’s pissed. She’s spoken to her lawyers and yep, they’re pressing charges. First problem is they need to actually ID the girls. They all have fake accounts and the fan photos they have with Lucy don't help when they don't know their names.”

“They’ll get ‘em for sure.” Kyra said, dropping a +4 on Caitlin who groaned. “But it’s so wrong, and so scary.”

“Have you had more fans and fanatics since moving to Arsenal?” YFN asked.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t even used to have a chant and now they’re yelling it every game which is so sick.”

“I think it all changed after the world cup, to be fair.” Caitlin chimed in. “Now it’s not just wanting to watch us as players but wanting to know our personal lives as well. I can’t even get a coffee without being papped or recognised.”

“Ah, no privacy..”

“Yep. I’m a football player, not a celebrity. It’s turnin’ more into how the men’s game is which isn’t great, but I guess it just shows how far the women’s game has grown over the past few years.”

YFN nodded, able to understand their situation just a little bit more after being the victim of some Lucy fanatics. Thinking of Lucy, she checked her phone. She had multiple messages from Jordan and Katie, as well as other players she’d met. She responded to Jordan, agreeing to the phone call once she’d finished training, and texted Katie back also. Then she answered Lucy’s check-up message with a quick selfie of the three of them. Kyra had apparently never met Lucy before and was a big fan, getting nervous at the idea that she may meet her if she hung around long enough.

“Lucy’s going to bring food, are you two hungry?”

Although they’d missed half a day of training, they were more than happy to accept any food Lucy would bring them.

As they started their fifth game, Katie arrived with a hug and joined in on the game after checking on YFN. At the end of their seventh game, Lucy arrived. Her eyes immediately found YFN, relaxing at the sight of her okay. And of course, she was carrying pizzas from the restaurant she and YFN had tried to get them from the night before. Hopeless romantic. The Arsenal girls eagerly took the boxes from her hands while YFN shook her head and grinned at Lucy’s thoughtfulness. She grabbed her face and pulled her in for a ‘Hello, I missed you’ kiss. Lucy tenderly kissed back, and then inspected her bandage and head. Her black eye had developed, but YFN gave her the good news from the doctor regarding her progress. Lucy said hi to the girls, clapping hands and they introduced her to Kyra who looked like a star struck kid. Lucy chuckled at that, agreeing to a selfie before she joined them on the bed. They all knew they shouldn’t be eating take-away during the season but as Katie had said with a mouthful of pizza, “We’re eatin’ this in support of our friend who recently won a battle with a brick so dig in, girls!”

The pizza was incredible and according to Lucy, completely free after the restaurant had seen what happened the night before. YFN couldn’t blame them. If she was serving Lucy Bronze, she’d also give her whatever she wanted for free. They ate pizza, laughed, bantered and YFN made sure to massage Lucy’s knee a bit after her session. Kyra asked Lucy an over-eager amount of questions, which kept Lucy well entertained as she began winning all of the Uno games.

At one point YFN took a selfie of them all, Lucy making a point by putting her arms around her in the photo while the Arsenal girls fake-strangled each other in the back. She sent it to Jordan along with a message to tell her that Leah had also visited. Then, just to spite her stalkers, and with permission, she posted the photo to social media and tagged them all.

The girls all went along with the public ‘fuck you’ and reposted to their stories, commenting on the original post.

KatieMcCabe: YFN 1 – Brick 0 *brick emoji*

JordanNobbs: *red heart emoji* love you chicken

CaitlinFoord: they build us aussies tough *bicep emoji*

KyraCooney-Cross: Lucy cheated in Uno

LeahWilliamson liked your post.

Ridley: I want names and addresses. Now. *angry emoji* *blue heart emoji*

LucyBronze: *red heart emoji x 3*

Jordan replied to her message then.

“Leah came to visit you?”

#lucy bronze #jordan nobbs #lucy bronze x reader #woso #engwnt #lionesses #lucy bronze imagine #womens football #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso soccer #caitlin foord #katie mccabe #leah williamson #kyra cooney cross

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shout-it-out13 · 2 months

Text

This fandom I swear

So I know I’m basically screaming into the void here but I have seen some seriously alarming tendencies of both parasocial behaviour and now downright infantalisation regarding Yoongi’s DUI incident

Now I’m a big fan of Yoongi, and I’m just as fond of the “lil meow meow” memes about him as anybody else, but it just doesn’t apply in this case.

Let me spell out the obvious (because then takes I’m seeing is downright worrying):

1. Min Yoongi is a 31 year old man. Not a baby or a teen, a whole ass adult, in his 30s. Thus him being of legal age, makes him as fully subject to the law, as any other legal adult of legal age (or even those of minor age, persecution of underage people is very much a thing, and even if he wasn’t an adult, he would still have received criminal punishment).

2. Him and the company appears to not have worded the translation properly, it was on a proper scooter, not on of those electrical scooters. And even if it was, it still probably would have counted, operating anything from a plane, car, boat, tractor, scooters etc counts as a DUI.

3. A DUI is a serious offense, no matter what the outcome is. It’s fortunate that this situation was so mild, nobody got hurt nor no personal damages, it still is a serious offense and should have be treated as such. Yes, we shouldn’t be treating this situation as if he hit and killed somebody, but he still could have, and this needs to be taken seriously.

Min Yoongi, a man in his 30s (a grown ass man of legal age, whom I’m seeing getting his criminal offense downplayed like nothing happened by those both of legal age and those not), committed a crime, as mild as the situation was, is a serious situation and for that break of the law, he deserves to be punished for it. And the fact that there are people treating like he did nothing wrong is just idiotic.

The amount of parasocial behaviour (friendly reminder, you will never truly know any idol, youtuber, celebrity, actor etc if you don’t personally know them (no meeting them multiple times and borderline stalking them and learning evrry single detail you can about them online doesn’t count) and infantilisation in this fandom is insane.

Stop putting people you look up to on such a high pedestal until the point where you think they can do nothing wrong (like some armys are doing right now, with a man in his 30s)

I love Yoongi, I still look up to him even after this, I’m glad that he wasn’t hurt and that this doesn’t hurt his military service. I hope he learns from this, faces whatever legal punishment they give him, and hope that he can regain his license again in the future.

I hope he, the company and most importantly the fandom, recognises how serious this situation is and stops going “poor little meow meow” or “I’m in love with a criminal” (no you don’t, nobody in the fandom knows who and how BTS are in their private lives (private lives whom they are fully entitled to keep hidden from overobsessive fangirls who thinks stalking people counts as knowing them. They’re people, not objects nor saints, please treat them as such) over a man who commuted a criminal offense, aka broke the law and now needs to face said punishment.

I know I have been repeating myself over and over, but with the amount of braindead takes seen in this fandom regarding theses legal grown men, is just painful.

#bts army #bts #min yoongi #bts suga #agust d #suga

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fortheloveofwonderland · 2 months

Text

Rusty | Chapter 22 | S.R

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N - I promise that despite what it seems, I am not turning this into an Ralvez fic no matter how much my brain tries to lead me in that direction. And despite how bleak things seem, I swear there will be a happy if not bitter sweet ending for Spencer and reader. This is really going off the deep end, huh?

Summary - Spencer struggles to tell the difference between reality and his imagination whilst trying to piece together what’s wrong with him. Luke receives a surprise visitor.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - strangers to friends to lovers | angst | smut minors DNI

Warnings - heavy mentions of past rape, blood, spontaneous urination, catheterisation, sedation, swearing, Spencer’s really losing it, some uncomfortable medical talk, talk of dissociative identity disorder (DID), respiratory distress.

WC - 6k

Chapter 22 - If Tomorrow Never Comes

“Oh cariño, am I glad to see you.”

For the next few minutes everything suddenly moved at rapid fire. One minute Luke was speaking, kissing Spencer’s dry knuckles and the next the man in the bed snapped and all hell broke loose.

Spencer snatched his hand away from Luke’s hold, recoiling at the use of his pet name. In an instant it wasn’t Luke Alvez, his former love standing next to him, it was his rapist.

They weren’t all that similar in looks but there were certainly similarities there, ones in which Spencer had never drawn on consciously, but subconsciously he must have seen it.

They were both of Latin American heritage, dark hair and eyes with caramel complexions. But Luke wasn’t as thick and wide as his tormentor, not quite as tall either. Luke wasn’t tattooed like him and Luke’s accent was from the Bronx while the other man had a thick Spanish timbre.

Really there wasn’t a need for him to equate the two, the similarities were so faint but they were there. And clearly he’d been pushing this thought beneath the surface all this time but now his subconscious had brought it to light there was no way to unsee it.

“Don’t call me that.” Spencer shook his head, his voice a hoarse whisper. “Don’t say that!”

He reached for whatever was covering his mouth, yanking the oxygen mask off of his face and scrabbling to sit upright.

“Spencer, you have to leave that on, you almost died, you can’t-” Luke reached forward but Spencer’s arms started thrashing wildly, smacking Luke away.

“Don’t touch me!” He screamed. “Why are you here? Why are you always here?”

“I don’t…I was worried about you cariño.”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” He yelled as loud as his ravaged lungs would allow, scratching at the IV in the crook of his arm.

Before Luke could stop the inevitable, Spencer had yanked the needle from his vein, a little trickle of blood following as he dislodged it.

“Spencer, you need to calm down, please?” Luke spoke softly but it didn’t work.

“No! I can’t calm down! You have to leave. Why are you here? Have you not done enough damage?” He was sobbing out of nowhere, trying to climb out of the bed but the catheter he was attached to kept him rooted in place with a tug at his crotch.

In a fit of rage he threw the sheet off of himself and not much caring about the lack of dignity in his desperation to get away from who he perceived to be the man who raped him, he forcibly removed the tube inserted in his bladder.

The pain that swelled in his genitals as he yanked the device was like nothing he had ever felt before and he collapsed on the floor with a sudden scream of agony.

Luke was hurriedly rounding the bed, jamming the button for a nurse before running to Spencer’s aid. He was crumpled on the floor, blood and urine leaking from his exposed penis and writhing and whining.

“Spencer, why did you do that?” Luke placed his hand on Spencer’s shoulder but in an instant, the younger man was shoving him away.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t look at me!” He fought to pull his hospital gown down to cover himself. “Please, please don’t make me do it again.”

“Do…do what?” Luke sat back on his haunches, the fear in Spencer’s eyes causing his stomach to turn.

“I’ll do anything, just please don’t rape me again.” He sobbed.

Spencer’s words floored Luke. He realised then that Spencer didn’t know who he was. He wasn’t seeing him as Luke, when he looked at him, he saw the man who had abused him.

Luke felt the tears welling in his own eyes as he stared at the cowering man on the floor, still bleeding and urinating uncontrollably and groaning in pain.

The door flew open a moment later and a nurse came rushing in. When she tried to help Spencer off the floor he started kicking and screaming in agitation.

He had to be sedated again and Luke watched horrified as he was injected against his will, screaming as loudly as his poor lungs could manage while flailing away from the nurse.

And then he suddenly stilled, flopping back to the ground in a pool of blood and urine.

***

When he awoke from his sedation, Spencer was alone which after what had happened previously, was most certainly for the best.

His head was swimming from the vivid dreams and he couldn’t work out where he was or how he’d ended up here.

Is this just another dream? Is that all death is, a series of intense, wild dreams?

Gotta be dead. I drowned. I remember passing out, everything went black.

He thought it was over when he’d opened his eyes and all the bodies faded away, thought he was finally going to be allowed some peace.

But then his abuser found him again, he always found him only this time he’d restrained him. He tied him down to the bed so he couldn’t get away, spoke softly to him as though to lull him into a false sense of security.

He’s strapped me down, what the hell is going to do to me this time? Oh no he’s going to do worse than have me suck him off this time, isn’t he? No, no I can’t, I can’t let him have me in that way!

He’d clawed the mask off of his face and whatever the hell had been in the crook of his arm, he couldn’t make it out; he just needed it gone.

It was to his abject horror he found the man had inserted something into his penis as well.

Why use such flimsy restraints? It’s like he wanted me to get away. Maybe he wanted a chase? He’s gotten bored of just having you suck his dick, Reid, he needs to up the ante.

What the hell did he put inside of me? Was he trying to force an erection this time? He needs me to be hard so he can enjoy it?

He’d tried to comfort him. When he’d fallen to the ground that monster was actually trying to sooth him.

And who was that woman? Not Cat, not Diane. Are there more of them now? Oh god please, they’re enough on their own.

He started to register the mask on his face, something itching the crook of his arm again and…yes there was that thing in his groin again. First things first, his arm.

Rolling his head to the side he blinked several times as he tried to focus on what was on his arm. No, not on his arm. In his arm.

Must be Tobias, he’s drugging me, wants to make this easier on me. Whatever they plan on doing to me, he’s trying to help me forget. Maybe I should lean into it, alcohol was only doing so much. Dilaudid is better, dilaudid will make the pain go away.

But what is in my damn cock?

He tried to sit himself up but his lungs burned viciously at even the smallest movement. He tried to power through, pulling the sheet off of his body and rolling up the gown he wore.

What am I wearing? Is he dressing me up now? Wants to dress me like a woman before he fucks me? What is this guy into?

The tube exited the tip of his penis and seemed to trail down the side of the bed, Spencer followed it to a clear bag hanging on the metal rails beneath the mattress. The bag was almost entirely empty with a small amount of yellowish liquid in the bottom.

Is that urine? Is that my urine? What is this for? Why would he…fuck why does my stomach hurt?

He groaned behind the mask, falling back against the pillows. A pinching pain could be felt in his stomach and lower back. Each breath seemed to aggravate his lungs, it felt like someone was sitting on his chest with how hard it was to take a breath.

The mask…is that helping or hindering?

His shaky hand raised to the mask over his nose and mouth and he started trying to lift it but before he could, the door opened and Spencer froze his movements, looking wide eyed at the young woman who just entered the room.

She paused when she saw him looking back at him, both of them blinking at each other for a few moments before she smiled and continued towards him.

“Doctor Reid, I’m glad to see you’re awake.” She spoke in a chipper voice.

Doctor Reid? No one’s called me that in a long time.

“How are you feeling?” She looked between him and a machine which was beeping a little frantically. She adjusted a dial and it quietened a little. “Hmm, you seem a little agitated?”

Who are you? What do you want? How can you tell how I am from a machine that won’t stop beeping? Where am I and why do I have all of these…oh. Oh.

“I’m not…not d-dead?” His voice was so quiet and hoarse she could only just hear him.

“You most certainly are not dead.” She smiled softly at him. “You’re at Canyon Vista Medical. Why don’t I get your doctor and he can explain more okay?”

“Mmm’k.” Spencer nodded, his head cloudy. “Can I…w-water?”

“I’ll have the doctor bring you some.” She gently patted his arm before turning on her heels and exiting the room.

The beeping makes sense, that’s your heart. Mask is probably oxygen helping you breathe after you nearly drowned yourself you dumb fuck. The needle is an IV, not dilaudid, can’t deny I’m a little disappointed. And you’re attached to a catheter, you ripped it out you moron.

No wonder your stomach hurts you probably tore something, can’t urinate properly now and the pain is your bladder filling up with urine you can’t pass, you absolute goddamn fucking IMBECILE.

No, no, must still be a dream. I’m dead, I’m DEAD. I saw him, right here in this room. He was right there trying to touch me, calling me cariño, trying to get me to…if I were alive he couldn’t be here. He’s still in prison, can’t be here. Must be dead.

You drowned you jackass, you’ve fried you’re fucking brain to pieces. If you are alive your brain is no better than a goddamn potato at this point. You can’t trust your mind, can’t trust what you’re seeing.

You’ve really gone and done it this time, Reid.

The door opened again and a man around his age in a white coat stepped inside, hugging a clipboard to his chest and holding a plastic cup in his other hand.

He was tall and in shape with a dark complexion and shaved head, he oddly reminded Spencer of Morgan.

Must be dead, Derek isn’t a damn doctor. You’re losing it, you are fucking losing it.

“Hello Doctor Reid, my name is Doctor Ryan, I’m a neurologist. I was told you wanted some water?” He held the plastic cup towards Spencer.

Spencer reached for it, his hand trembling as he tried to clutch it. He brought it to his lips, or at least tried to, but hit the mask instead.

“Careful, you can take it off for a moment while you drink but you need to take slow sips. If you find it hard to breathe, please put the mask back on right away.” Doctor Ryan, who still looked suspiciously like Derek Morgan, told him softly.

Spencer nodded and cautiously lifted the mask before bringing the cup to his lips and taking a sip. Even the smallest drop of water felt glorious in his dry mouth.

“Do you understand where you are? What happened to you?”

Spencer took another sip, gasped for a breath before he remembered the mask and quickly fixed it back on his face before sucking in a deep lung full of oxygen.

“D-dead?” He croaked. “Am I?”

“No,” Doctor Ryan smiled sadly at him. “You’re in the hospital. We believe you fell asleep in the bathtub after consuming a lot of alcohol and fell beneath the water. You drowned.”

He thinks it was an accident. At least they aren’t going to cart you off to some psyche ward and have you on suicide watch.

Spencer wasn’t sure if the voice in his head was his own or if it belonged to one of the ghosts. His head was still blurry and he couldn’t decipher the voice. He supposed it didn’t really matter.

“Are you in any pain or discomfort?” Doctor Ryan spoke again.

“Hmm,” Spencer hummed. “Lungs sore.”

“That’s to be expected. We removed the fluid from your lungs and you were on a ventilator for a while. But your respiratory activity is still not where we would like it to be. You may also feel some pain in your chest from the CPR administered to you. Nothings broken but scans show some bruising on your sternum.” The doctor spoke and Spencer screwed his face up.

He was saying a lot of words and not all of them Spencer was able to comprehend. It felt like a thick veil was shrouded around his brain, not allowing all the information to pass through.

You’ve really scrambled your brain. You can’t make sense of any of this. How many brain cells did you kill off?

“I…okay.” He sighed, rubbing his eye with the hand not cradling the water cup.

“Are you experiencing any other discomfort?”

Spencer nodded.

“S-stomach. Back.”

“Hmm,” Doctor Ryan frowned, bending down to inspect the catheter bag and seeing it was almost empty. “You may have done some kind of damage when you removed your catheter. The nurse noted some swelling when she reinserted it. Can I take your temperature?”

“Hmm.” Spencer didn’t have the strength to fight it.

The doctor moved closer to Spencer’s bed, setting his clipboard down on the side table and retrieving an in-ear thermometer from his pocket. He removed the sterile cap with his gloved hand and leaned in towards Spencer, gently inserting the little tip in Spencer’s ear.

A moment later he was standing back and looking at the reading with a mildly concerned expression.

“It seems your temperature is a little high. My guess would be that you’ve torn or stretched your urethra in the removal of the catheter and this has led to either a urinary tract infection or urethritis which has narrowed the passage for urine to pass through. We’ll need to insert a suprapubic catheter through a hole in your abdomen to allow urine drainage. We’ll need to do this as soon as possible and under general anaesthetic. I’ll order an ultrasound so we can see more of what’s going on. It should be easily treatable with antibiotics as long as it's nothing more serious.” Doctor Ryan once again spoke too many words and Spencer struggled to keep up.

Ryan pressed the button to call a nurse in while he picked his clipboard back up and inspected it.

“I do need to ask you some questions, ascertain if you have any neurological deficits from the loss of oxygen. Would it be okay to start while we wait for the nurse to come to prep you or is the pain a little too much?”

“No.” Spencer sighed. “S-start.”

Let's just get it over with. Let’s find out how fucking crazy I am now.

“Okay, we’ll start easy. Can you tell me your name?”

“D-Doctor Reid.” He inhaled sharply behind the mask. “Doctor S-Spencer Reid. Spencer W-Walter Reid.”

“Okay, that’s good. Can you tell me your date of birth?”

Spencer’s eyebrows knitted together as he contemplated this one.

Come on genius, it's not hard. When were you born? You know this one. And if you don’t they are only going to get harder.

“O-October.” He closed his eyes briefly. “T-twelfth?”

“And what year were you born?” Doctor Ryan encouraged.

Goddamnit this shouldn’t be this hard. Think, think!

“N-nineteen…eighty.” He frowned. “No…eighty one?”

The information was all there, he was sure of it, he just struggled to bring it to mind.

“And where do you live?”

“B-Bandera.” He spoke but then, “wait no, Tombstone?”

“That’s it.” Doctor Ryan nodded.

The door opened then and Spencer was glad for the distraction of the nurse coming back in with a soft yet sad smile.

“I think we’ll continue this later, okay Doctor Reid? My main concern right now is getting your bladder drained and assessing any urethral damage if that’s okay with you?” Doctor Ryan asked him.

As if I have a choice?

“B-brain scram…scrab…scrambled?” Spencer wet his dry lip with his tongue.

“Clearly there are some memory blockages but that could be explained by the sedation you’ve been under. I’ll be back and we can speak more after your procedure, okay?”

“Hmm,” Spencer simply hummed, closing his eyes against a wave of tears.

***

Doctor Ryan explained to both you and Luke what he believed had happened in Spencer’s catheter removal and told you he was being taken for a short procedure to insert the suprapubic device to help him urinate.

If the issue was a blockage caused by a tear like he expected, medication would be able to treat it and he should be able to have the catheter removed in a few days if they were lucky.

What he didn’t say, what you and Luke read between the lines, was that if they weren’t lucky, he would most likely have to live with a permanent catheter. Neither of you said as much though.

Luke had given you the abridged version of what happened when Spencer woke up and freaked out before having to be sedated again.

He hadn’t told you that Spencer had confused him with his rapist because honestly he wasn’t sure he could say it out loud. It was one of the hardest moments of Luke’s life hearing Spencer scream those words at him.

“I’ll do anything, just please don’t rape me again.”

But it all came out on the phone to Emily like he knew it would. He filled her in on what happened, that Spencer was in surgery having his new catheter fitted through his stomach and then the rest just came flying out.

“Em it was so…fuck. He thought I was him, he thought I was one of those men that…he begged me not to…not to r…I can’t even say it. It’s worse than we thought, I think he’s too far gone. I think he’s lost to some kind of other world and I don’t know if we can get him back this time.

“It’s got to be DID, coming off his meds and the heavy drinking, it’s caused a fracture. The dissociative amnesia was one thing, but full blown dissociative identity disorder? Em, this is bad. This is really fucking bad.”

In typical Emily Prentiss style she managed to half talk Luke off of the edge he’d been threatening to jump over since he found Spencer in the tub.

That’s why she’s the Section Chief, she’s so good at these things. Wish she was here, god how I wish she was here.

“We’re still stuck on this case, I think it’s going to be a long one. But I can send Garcia out? If you need some kind of back up, even just some company?”

Honestly the thought of seeing Penelope, her splash of colour on this otherwise dreary and depressing situation filled him with a momentary joy. But of course he couldn’t have her here, she’d seen your photo, she’d know who you were.

“It’s okay, you need all hands on deck. I’m not alone anyway, Reid’s…friend is here.”

“Friend? You mean girlfriend?” There was a hint of amusement in her tone.

“Uh, actually I think they are more than that. I noticed she was wearing what looked to be an engagement ring.” His stomach turned the same way it did every time he looked at that ring on your hand.

“Oh wow,” Emily gasped. “That must be weird for you.”

Weird? That was certainly an understatement. Luke had been planning on proposing to Spencer since their third date. He’d even told Spencer that night he intended to marry him one day.

Even after everything that happened, even after they broke up and Spencer moved out to Texas, Luke still believed they would be able to work things out and that he would still one day get to marry the younger man.

Best laid plans, huh Alvez?

“I guess weird is one word for it.” He sighed. “I hate this Emily, I don’t think I know how not to be in love with him.”

“But he’s moved on. And I thought you had too?”

“I’m…trying I guess. Grant is incredible, really, but I guess he’s not Spencer.”

“No, he isn’t.” Emily agreed. “He’s far less complicated. He’s not struggling through a multitude of mental illnesses. He’s stable and he has his life together and the two of you could really have a future together Alvez, if you’re just willing to put Spencer behind you.”

“Yeah, yeah I know.” He nodded. “Trust me when I say I want to have all that with Grant and I am trying. Things were great before I got that fucking phone call.”

“You’ll be okay, Alvez.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do.” Emily laughed. “I know you’ll be okay the same way I know Reid will be okay. You are both incredibly strong, stronger than either of you give yourself credit for. I know for a fact you will both make it through this. Spencer might have an uphill battle on his hands but it’s nothing he can’t handle. And you are going to be happy with Grant, more than happy. I know you believe Reid was the love of your life but he isn’t Luke. But Grant might be.”

“I hate it when you’re right.” Luke grumbled.

“No you don’t.” Emily laughed again. “Anyway I’ve got to get back. Keep me updated and keep your chin up okay?”

“I’ll try. Thanks, Em.” He hung up the phone and returned it to his pocket.

He padded back down the hall and found you in more or less the same position he’d left you in, slumped in the chair in the waiting room.

He sat back down next to you, eyes drawn back to the ring on your finger and he could no longer bite his tongue.

“He, uh…did he?” He nodded towards your hand.

You looked at him from your seclusion in your oversized hood and instinctively curled your fingers into your palm.

“Yeah.” You gnawed on your bottom lip. “But we all know I’m never actually going to be able to marry him.”

“I had a ring.” Luke confessed for the first time out loud.

You glared at him from inside your hood, eyes wide.

“You…you did?” You croaked.

“I was gonna propose to him but then he went to Mexico and got arrested. And after prison…there was never a good time. I still have it. It’s so dumb because it’s been years and I’m with-”

“Grant.”

“Exactly. I know I should get rid of it but I-”

“No, Grant.” You nodded your head behind Luke and Luke stiffened.

Slowly he turned to look over his shoulder at the man hovering in the entrance way of the waiting room. Grant looked slightly worse for wear, like he hadn’t slept, his clothes wrinkled just like his forehead. Luke jumped up and the two men took a few steps closer to one another.

“What are you…why are you…?” Luke’s voice cracked.

“I should have called, I’m sorry. I was just so worried about you and suddenly I was on a plane and now here I am.” Grant sighed. “I’m sorry.”

Luke continued to stare in disbelief at his boyfriend here in this Arizona hospital while his ex was in surgery and he was making friends with a fugitive. Nothing about this scenario was normal so really it shouldn’t be a surprise that Grant was here.

All of Luke’s emotions came flooding to the surface. He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed the other man until right now, how much he’d needed him. Emily’s words swam through his mind as his tears broke free.

“I know you believe Reid was the love of your life but he isn’t Luke. But Grant might be.”

“Oh my god, I am so glad you’re here.” Luke crumbled, collapsing into Grant’s arms as he started to sob.

Grant held him up, cradling him against his chest while his large hand rubbed up and down Luke’s spine. He made soft cooing sounds as Luke cried into his shirt.

“It’s okay, I’m here. Let it out, hon. I’m here.” Grant whispered into Luke’s matted hair, placing kisses on his crown.

Luke wrapped his arms around Grant’s waist, holding onto him for dear while you watched the two men with slight misty eyes. There was no doubt in your mind that these two cared for each other deeply, it was sweet but it made you a little wistful that you and Spencer wouldn’t have the kind of future the two of them could.

As soon as Spencer was out of the woods, Luke was going to have you arrested and you’d never see Spencer again. You didn’t have a future and your last remaining memories of him would be of him in hospital.

God you were going to miss him.

Luke continued to sob against Grant while Grant did his best to hold him up when his legs shook violently. The strong arms keeping him on his feet made Luke feel safe, he felt like he was home.

It never felt like this with Spencer. I loved him but it never felt like this. This is what I’ve been searching my whole life for. Ever since I was fifteen years old and coming out to ma. This is what I’ve always wanted. I love him, I really fucking love him.

Luke peeled himself away from Grant’s chest so he could meet his gaze. Despite his tears a faint hint of a smile ghosted his lips.

“I love you.” He blurted out for the very first time. “I know this isn’t exactly the time or place to be making confessions like that but I need you to know. I love you, I am in love with you.”

Grant smiled softly, bringing one hand to cup Luke’s cheek and brush his tears with the pad of his thumb.

“I love you too, dummy. I wouldn't have moved across the country for just anyone.” Grant drew him closer and placed a featherlight kiss on his lips.

Behind your hood you silently cried at the outpouring of emotions between the two men. You toyed with the engagement ring on your finger as your stomach churned.

Perhaps if you’d known what was waiting for you out there, if you’d known one day you would meet someone like Spencer and fall in love so profoundly, you wouldn’t have gone after Sayers.

If you’d known where your life would end up then maybe you wouldn’t have pulled that trigger. But because of that one stupid mistake, you and Spencer would never have a future, you barely had a past. It was only a matter of time before Luke took you in and your short yet torrid love story with Spencer would be over before it had a chance to begin.

Luke and Grant were just at the beginning of their tale, while your ending was currently being penned for you.

***

Hospital. Hospital. You are in the hospital. Not dead. Still alive. Hospital.

Spencer repeated this mantra after waking up with a pain in his stomach and remembering the surgery he was having to insert the suprapubic catheter.

Not dead. Not in limbo. Alive. Hospital.

But if that’s true, why are the ghosts here?

He couldn’t see them thank god but he could hear them. A violent cacophony of voices blared inside of his head as they all fought for attention.

Why are you here? If I’m really alive, why are you here?

“You know why, Spencie. You didn’t completely destroy that delicious brain.”

Fuck, have I had a schizophrenic break? Aren’t I too old to have my first break? Not unheard of, just rare. You always have been an overachiever.

“It’s not schizophrenia and you know it. You lived with it long enough, you know this isn’t what your mother had.”

What is it then? It certainly feels like it.

“Oh jeez, you really did fuck your brain cells didn’t you?”

He couldn’t comprehend which voice was saying what, his head was too foggy to discern the voices from each other.

“Just think about it, logically. You know what this is.”

Spencer inhaled sharply, trying to focus on the symptoms in order to ascertain a cause.

Disconnected from my surroundings. Foggy memory. Couldn’t even remember my date of birth at first. Uncertain in myself, in who I am. Multiple and distinct personalities fighting each other inside my brain. Dissociations. PTSD. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

DID. I’m suffering from dissociative identity disorder. Fuck, no, no not this too. It’s too much, its too fucking much.

He was spiralling, floating out into the ether. His vision grew fuzzy at the edges, his stomach coiled into thick knots.

The door swung open and he peered at Doctor Ryan through eyes that weren’t his own. Someone else was with him, a woman he had never seen before.

“How are you feeling, Spencer? You may feel a little discomfort from the insertion but that’s to be expected.” Doctor Ryan smiled at the man he had no idea wasn’t Spencer in that moment.

“Spencer’s gone away.” The slightly haggard, older voice spoke from Spencer’s mouth, words laced with frustration. “Couldn’t hack it. He never could. My son is so weak.”

Doctor Ryan and the woman exchanged a look and the woman took a step forward. In speaking to Luke and you they had understood the fear that Spencer may have succumbed to DID, which was why Ryan had invited Doctor Vikram, the hospital's head of psychiatric care, to assess Spencer.

“My name is Doctor Vikram but you can call me Dahlia. Can I ask what your name is?” The woman smiled appeasingly at the man who was not Spencer Reid.

“William. William Reid.”

“And you are Spencer’s father?” She jotted down some notes.

“For my sins.” The man in the bed rolled his eyes. And then in another voice “boys a goddamn sinner through and through.”

“And your name is?”

“Raphael.” The man spoke in a clipped tone.

“Okay, are you here to protect Spencer?”

“Protect him?” Raphael spoke through Spencer. “Why on earth would I want to do that? Thorn in my side that man. His daddy’s right, he’s a weakling.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I think Spencer is a little scared, probably overwhelmed. I think he is using you and Mister Reid to hide from us. But I would very much like to speak with him.” Dahlia stayed calm, it was her job after all.

She’d dealt with DID more than she cared to have, knew its workings and also knew how hard it was to diagnose. But Spencer was making it relatively easy. Whether or not this was just a passing phase or if it was permanent would be the hard part of the diagnosis.

With his reported alcohol intake and the quitting his medication, she was hopeful that this would just be temporary. The variables had added up and created a shift in his mind but with any luck once he was back on the right medication and not drinking so much the symptoms may ease off and potentially never come back. She hoped it was just a brief break from reality and that it wouldn’t last forever.

“With all due respect, Doc,” a sassy female voice left the man's lips now. “Spencie can’t handle it. Whatever you need to tell him, you’ll have to go through us, sweetie.”

Again Vikram and Ryan exchanged a look. The personalities were rapidly presenting, hurriedly flitting between. That was three distinctive voices now in a matter of minutes. And there was no way to truly know how many people lived inside of Spencer’s head.

“Spencer, I know you are in there and I need you to come out. Stop hiding behind these other personalities. You are safe, you are in the hospital. Whatever it is that you’re trying to hide from can’t hurt you here, I promise you that.” Doctor Vikram spoke slowly and calmly, daring to place her hand on Spencer’s bare arm.

His eyes flicked down to where she touched him. Her hand was cold, almost icy and it sent a shiver up his spine. His eyes fluttered closed and he suddenly went completely limp, muttering under his breath while he collapsed against the pillows.

“He’s too weak, not strong enough. He can’t handle it. We’re here to help.”

A moment or two later his eyes shot back open and he looked frantically between the two doctors at his bedside, one of whom was touching his arm. The heart monitor started to increase its rhythmic beeps and he breathed heavily into his oxygen mask.

His hand came to his chest, pressing against his bruised sternum and he groaned whilst trying to fight to catch his breath again.

“Fuck, why…hurts. S’hurts.” He panted, a look of pain lacing his features.

“Spencer, is that you?” Doctor Ryan stepped forward.

“Y-yes.” He nodded, still pressing against his chest.

“Where does it hurt?” He asked, raising his voice to be heard over the beeping and Spencer’s erratic breaths.

“C-chest. Chest h-hurts.”

Doctor Ryan whipped his stethoscope out of his lab coat pocket and hurriedly put it in his ears, holding the other end to Spencer’s chest while Spencer’s hand fell back to the bed. He moved it around a little, listening to Spencer’s uneven breath sounds.

“He’s in respiratory distress. We need to get him up to the ICU stat. Page Doctor Wells to meet us there.” Ryan barked at Vikram. “Spencer, you're going to be okay, I just need you to try and stay calm. We’re taking you to the ICU, we’re paging the on call pulmonologist but I believe she will recommend you go back on the ventilator. You have to try and stay calm until we can sedate you.”

Stay calm? You want me to fucking stay calm! Are you serious? My lungs feel like they’re going to explode! Fucking Christ just leave me here to die, wouldn’t it be easier? Fucking calm, how can I be calm?

Internally he was screaming but he made little more than a whimper out loud. Everything seemed to speed up and slow down all at once and his head was a ravaged mess of voices and emotions and he didn’t have the energy or the willpower to pick through them all.

There was a rush of light, was he moving? Were the walls moving? Something was moving.

People came and went from his vision while he tried to fight for a breath. His lungs were on fire. He felt like he was drowning all over again.

Somewhere in his mind Tobias tutted and shook his head at Spencer. Cat rolled her eyes and whispered something in Diane’s ear. Merva simply shook his head and his father muttered something about him not being strong enough.

His abuser loomed over them all, that wicked smile on his face as he reached out a calloused hand and brushed Spencer’s eyelids until his eyes were closed.

The pricking of a needle in the crook of his arm was the last thing he was conscious of before everything went dark and the ghosts came out to play.

@kalulakunundrum @katrina0-0 @bakugouswh0r3 @prettyboyandthefangirl @zooni92802 @babyspiderling @pleasantwitchgarden @djsjjsjsjsjsnsnsns @bringitonhomejohnb @chineray1234

#spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

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luvistqrzzz · 1 year

Text

August slipped away into a moment in time 'cause you were never mine

the summer i loved you — jake x f.reader wc — 3.3K

summary — where August was the month of new beginnings and first loves but mostly, heartbreak.

genre — friends to not lovers, second lead syndrome, angst, fluff, summer au, august inspired

warnings — sad ending, jake is a huge dee eye see kay (🤢🤢), profranity, heartbreak, not proofread

an — um guys haha def dont come at me for the ending 😊😊 but omg this had been in my drafts for a while now n im glad im able to release this in august ✌🏽😈 have fun reading pookies (1 fucking am rn imma die help)

ps — ☆ a visualizer cuz why tf am i extra ?!

August is a weird month. It seemed to rush by you like a dream and yet at the same time it felt like the last period of every Friday, not finishing fast enough. You'd prefer the former.

August reminded you of memories— pretty but mostly ugly ones or maybe when the hurt in your heart ran so deep, even the happy memories turned ugly, didn't they?

It was not a month you enjoyed, you didn't like summers, you didn't like feeling like new beginnings and first love.

August reminded you of it all... It reminded you of Jake.

It was 1st of August when you realized what those weird feelings were.

‘Y/N!’ You opened the door to the sound of your name, only to be met with a tired and almost teary eyed Jake. He looked up at you, mustering a small smile as you stood before him your mouth agape.

‘A-are you okay?!’ you asked, pulling him into your house.

‘Um. Not… really’, your friend replied, scratching his neck nervously. ‘It’s just… she kinda broke up with me.’

She. he didn’t even need to mention her name and yet you let the word pierce your heart, a little. Kang Eunji. Jake’s girlfriend, well, ex girlfriend.

It was her, always her. It wasn’t unusual for you to hear that they both had a fight but you never thought they'd break up. ‘What? Are you being for real?!’ You were shocked to say the least. Jake and Eunji were what people deemed to be the “power couple” at school. They wouldn’t break up, or could they?

He nodded and sat on the couch, ‘We were fighting over one of those petty matters again, she was angry why I was so busy. It was about soccer practice of course! And when I kind of lost it, she said we were over.’ His voice caught in his throat before he let out a small sob.

Your heart sank as you patted his back and pulled him close into an embrace, ‘Ssh, it’s okay’, you ran small circles on his, ignoring the butterflies set free in your stomach at the close contact.

You could never understand what went on in their relationship. This may have been the first time they broke up but it surely wasn’t the first time Jake came to your house on the verge of tears.

You hated seeing him this way, like a broken record.

‘What will I do now, Y/N?’ ‘You just broke up, it’s not the end of the world. Plus, you have the entire summer before you, right? We’ll figure a way out,’ You broke the hug, looking straight into his eyes, trying to reassure him.

But they all meant nothing. Getting reassured of a broken heart didn’t mend the damage, you knew better than him. Jake nodded nonetheless, wiping away the stray tears, ‘Goodness, I feel so dumb for just crying like this.’ ‘don’t be. You are allowed to feel your emotions.’

He gave a small smile in your direction and your heart skipped a beat.

‘So’, you turned towards the television, searching for a distraction. ‘You wanna binge watch something? Or maybe some Doraemon?’

Jake grinned, ‘I’d love that! What would I do without you, Y/N?’

You let out an almost sad chuckle, ‘I am the coolest best friend ain’t I?’ The word best friend left a bad taste in your mouth.

4th August was when Jake realized the bookstore was his safe place.

Clink! The door to the bookstore opened with a small chime. You looked up from your position at the counter only to find Jake walk into the shop.

He smiled before taking a seat beside you, much to your surprise. It wasn't unusual for him to drop by the store. But mostly he came for borrowing a book or having a quick chat with you.

But never like this.

'So, how are you doing?' You asked, turning towards where he sat, fidgeting with a pen. It was a slow lazy afternoon with barely any customers.

'Oh, uh, I'm fine. At least I'm trying to be. We had so many things planned and like, it feels weird. We were good for each other…' he kept on rambling about his latest break up.

You could feel your heart clench a litte. You understood why Jake was doing so but it didn't help. It didn't help that there were two broken hearts in the same room. It was always you and the second lead syndrome against the world.

Sometimes you really wondered what you had done to be stuck in the loophole of falling for a friend.

You had been friends with Jake since middle school, always finding yourself blush whenever he was around.

The first time you tried confessing to him during Valentine's Day in freshman year, your hand baked cake (which you had prepared for hours) got destroyed. You kind of gave up on him, treating him as a friend.

Well, that was until Eunji came along last year. Seeing Jake with her brought about a fresh wave of emotions you think your heart had forgotten.

It hadn't.

The bookstore was Jake's hideaway from the world. He loved everything about it. Loved how calming it was and the people who came in always greeted him with a smile. He was a quaint place, maybe mysterious in a sense that Jake didn't want to uncover the secrets it hid.

He liked how you let him sit there for the entirety of your shift. But mostly he loved the conversations.

Throughout the summer, Jake couldn't remember the number of times he found you sitting with him, flipping through some book as you both chatted away, be it in the lazy afternoon or under the evening sky, where the buzz of the grasshopper was the only thing he could hear. They felt weirdly intimate, like the secrets he used to keep as a kid. He almost wanted to gatekeep them.

'Sorry do I bore you here?' You asked one day. It was a question bothering you for a while.

Jake frowned, 'What? No. Of course not, Y/N. You could never bore me.' But you were unconvinced, 'No, like, who spends their summer sitting in a small little barely functioning bookstore except maybe be. You must have a lot of plans, right?'

'I wouldn't lie. I haven't ever spent such a quiet summer but turns out, I like a lot. Too much for my own sake. The bookstore isn't boring. Rather, it gives me a sense of escape from reality.' He gave you a reassuring smile.

'Also', Jake added as a second thought. 'You aren't boring Y/N. You just make it all loads better.'

Your phone went off with a sharp ring. Your alarm wasn’t set to ring today. Who could it be? You groaned as you sleepily grabbed it from the nightstand. Without even checking the name, you picked up the call, ‘Hello? Who?’ ‘It’s me Jake, you dummy!’ His excited voice came from the other side.

You yawned, ‘What do you want?’ you checked the time, ‘It’s literal fucking half past four.’ ‘More reason to wake up, right?!’

‘Shut up, I’m hanging up and-’ ‘No no! I really did plan a surprise. Get ready, please, just for today. Please’, he begged from the other side.

Now, you were definitely wide awake, upon hearing his voice. He had planned what…? ‘Okay but the surprise better be good.’ ‘Also! Keep your bicycle ready.’

‘There you are!’ Jake greeted you with a wide smile as you grumbled and walked down the road with your bike where he stood. ‘You don’t get to smile like that after pulling me up from sleep’, you muttered angrily.

But really who were you to complain? It was Jake and you couldn’t deny the fact that you were genuinely excited for what was coming. It was always an adventure when it came to him.

‘You won’t be disappointed, trust me’, he said, boarding his bike and motioning for you to do the same.

You breathed out a calming sigh, looking ahead at the empty road. Thanks to summer, the sun was already somewhere there on the horizon, spreading a fuzzy glow around you. Everything looked simpler, softer. In the light of the dawn, your thoughts felt less complicated, you almost felt it would be easy to sort out your feelings. Would it?

You turned to look at Jake, cycling in peace, a small grin on his face, ‘Told you! I sometimes go out on early morning rides, especially if I have a lot on my mind.’

‘So, why are you taking me then?’ ‘I don’t know. I just have a feeling you’ll like this place’, he shrugged. ‘Plus, I like spending time with you’, Jake added as an afterthought.’

A blush crept into your cheeks at his words. Stop over thinking you scolded yourself. But you couldn’t help the hope blossom in you. False hope.

‘Here we are’, Jake spread his arms wide, showing you the view. After half an hour of cycling through empty streets and quiet places, you found yourself on a small hill. It was pretty abandoned, the only sounds that reached your ears were the chirping of birds and the whistling of trees in the cool summer morning.

In front of you lay your town and the forests beyond it. Those familiar buildings looked all new when you saw them from top of a hill. It radiated calmth… and comfort.

Or was the latter because of the person beside you?

‘Thanks’, you spoke in a soft whisper but then you felt a hand tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your heart stopped as you turned towards Jake looking at you with a fond smile and slowly pulled you closer, resting his head on your shoulder.

You couldn't process what he was doing. Was it all intentional? No, it was the usual playful Jake you knew, right? But the usual playful Jake wasn't like this. He had pulled you into a hug several times but never like this.

Never so tender in his actions that it made you think otherwise.

'I like the view so much. I hope you do too. It's just… very special, I had never shown it to Eunji either. People ruin things', he sighed, looking ahead.

You scoffed as an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, 'So, I'm not a person?' 'No, you're Y/N. It's an entire special thing to be in itself.'

You didn't know what it meant anymore. The secret smiles, the small actions. You weren't oblivious, you saw it all but your face masked it behind the friendship.

But was it even friendship? You hoped it wasn't. You hoped you both had crossed the line of being "just friends".

It was the 20th of August when Jake liked mint chocolate ice cream.

He touched his cheek as a familiar warmth flooded in at the sight of you. What was happening to him? Ever since the day on the hill, he had been feeling weird. Be it when he visited the bookstore or when you both hung out during the day (or night).

The way your laugh sounded in his ears, when you smiled, he noticed the way his heart skipped a beat. But he loved the most when through the afternoons you talked. Just talk, nothing and everything.

Jake had never felt so connected to anyone. You both had always been friends but seeing a friends standing before him, two ice creams in hand shouldn't make Jake blush.

But it did.

'Hey Mr.Zoned out!' You snapped your fingers before him, pulling him away from his thoughts. You handed him his ice cream while joining him on the curb.

He made a disgusted face at the cone you were holding, 'Ugh. Mint chocolate.' You slapped his shoulder playfully, 'Yah! You are a person with zero taste.'

'Oh really? Lemme try it then', Jake replied, challenging you. He scooped a bit with the plastic spoon before closing his eyes and tasting it.

'Ew', he gagged. 'This tastes like fucking toothpaste', he wiped his mouth in disgust.

'Shut up, no need to be so over dramatic about it all', you chuckled and rolled your eyes.

Jake looked at you as you continued eating and looking at the street in front. It was almost 5 in the evening, the kids were out playing but their shouts were only distant noise because all he could hear was your voice. All he could see was you. You weren't bright like the background but in his eyes, you were glowing. The sun falling on your face, as if highlighting only you in his eyes.

Almost as if on instinct, his hand slowly reached out to your free one, his fingers finding yours and intertwining them together.

You stopped, your heart beating way too fast, you could almost feel the redness of your cheeks.

What was happening? What was Jake doing? Why was he doing this?

It felt wrong, you knew it. Your intuition could tell it. This was something you had waited forever to happen, but you knew this couldn't be.

Let go of his hand, Y/N. Let go let go let go let go… don't let go.

You didn't, too foolish and in love to walk away. And maybe that was the first mistake you had made.

The first rain of August came on the 25th.

Why was rain often associated with sadness? No, rain didn't mean sadness.

Because on that one day of August, you stood outside the bookstore looking at the dark clouds, the rain gave you hope.

You sighed, no wonder your mother kept on insisting you to take an umbrella. Now, there you were, standing in front of the closed shop.

But a bright yellow thing caught your eye, standing out in the dull gray background. You squinted your eyes as the figure came closer.

Jake.

Your stomach jumped. Had he come for you?

He ran through the rain, his bright smile evident as you stared at him in wonder.

'What?' He asked. You shook your head, 'You…?' 'I came for you. You always forget your umbrella.' He completed the sentence for you.

Your mouth formed an "O" but a soft smile spread across your lips.

'Here', he handed you the spare umbrella in hand and took hold of your wrist, pulling you into the rain.

You shrieked, 'At least let me open mine first.' He laughed at your sight, moving closer and holding his umbrella over you.

You noticed every single thing, the things you had noticed a hundred times before. But mostly you noticed his little actions.

The ones that made you fall for him all over again.

'Fuck, if I catch a cold, it'll be your fault, Sim Jake', you threatened the boy standing in front of your porch, grinning. You both had recklessly ran in the rain as a result the umbrellas had been pretty useless… but it was fun.

'Don't worry', he stepped forward, a certain fondness flickering in his eyes. 'I'll be there to bring you the meds.'

It happened in a fraction of a second, swiftly, Jake bent down and gave a sudden kiss on your cheek. It was soft as a feather, almost like it didn't happen.

But you felt it. You almost felt dizzy, her cheeks heating you. You brought your hands to where he had just kissed you. It had happened, hadn't it?

But before you could say anything, Jake turned around, his head hung low in embarrassment but his stomach full of butterflies and sprinted in the opposite direction.

Had he meant it?

As Jake walked his way back home, his head filled with thoughts of you, a sudden buzz of his phone. He took it out, expecting a text from you.

But no… It was someone else.

His heart dropped. A contact that hadn't been there since 1st of August.

Eunji.

"jake, im so sorry."

But what followed after that day was something you had always feared.

He ignored you. Every text, every call, no reply. Did he just get awkward? But even an awkward Jake wouldn't be this rude. Or was he angry with you? You didn't even do anything.

The next time you saw Jake, three days later, was when you went on a grocery run.

You could spot him anywhere. 'Jake! Wait', you called out to him. He didn't stop. 'Omg, stop being a shit head would you?! Stop fucking ignoring me!' You huffed, annoyed.

That's when you saw his figure slowly turn towards you. 'Sorry', he muttered. You ran a hand through your hair. sorry? That's all he had to say?

'Look, if it's about that day then forget it. You-you never kissed me.' 'What? Of course not, it isn't about that day', he replied.

You looked at him confusedly, 'Huh? Then why, Jake? I had tried calling and texting you so many times but you couldn't bother to reply to me.'Your voice slowly rose.

'I was busy catching up with Eunji okay?!' his tone matching yours.

There came that name. Her name. Did you hear it correctly? What was she doing in this conversation?

'E-eunji…?' you looked at him, at loss of words. 'I thought yo-you were over her?'

He gave you a look of disbelief, 'No. That day she sent me a text and I realised… I wasn't.'

Why did the crack in your heart deepen? Why was it always you who got hurt?

And you couldn't help but ask, knowing the answer would make you feel worse, 'What about us then, Jake?'

'Us? Y/N what are you talking about? We are friends, we always have been. There is no us.'

There, the final blow. 'Why did you make me feel so special then? All for nothing? You know how much I like you, so much that everytime we spent time together this summer, I got my hopes up. I was so foolish, because of you Sim fucking Jaeyun. And that day you kissed me, I thought, finally you'll realize but no. It's always her, isnt it?', you didn't scream but the crack in your voice said it all.

And Jake remained silent through it all. because he knew he deserved 'So, this summer meant nothing to you?' You sniffed, a single tear rolling down your cheek.

'Nothing.' But you missed the flicker in his eyes. The flicker that said otherwise.

That it wasn't nothing, it was his eveything.

August 31st was when you lost it finally.

‘It was just a summer thing’, the words rang in your ear, loud and clear. They drowned the voices of all the chatter of classmates. ‘y/n? y/n? Are you okay?’ Lily asked beside you, furrowing her eyebrows in worry.

But you couldn’t respond to her, at that very moment, you thought you couldn’t do pretty much anything except look. Or rather stare at the sight unfolding before you. Before you knew it, the plastic cup fell from your hands, the beer splashing all over the floor and getting the attention of the people in the room, the attention of them.

In the haze, you met your eyes with his, the soft brown ones that you had fallen in love with, the one which enveloped you in warmth. But now they felt like they were hurting you, the annoyance in them.

A tear rolled down your cheek as you turned around. The room suddenly felt too small, the stares of the people felt accusing. You let go of Lily’s hand that gripped your wrist and ran in the opposite direction.

Did you hear footsteps behind you? Were they Jake’s? You hated to admit it but you wished they were. You wished that he was the one following you, the one who'd hold you back.

For once, prove it to you that you weren’t the second lead.

But he wasn’t there.

You found yourself rushing to the porch, the sounds fading out. But you could hear the blood pumping in your ears, the sound of your shallow breath that you had been holding for so long.

He wasn’t there. What did you even expect?

You were a summer thing for him… but he was your summer love.

permanent taglist open- send an ask- @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu @nhularin

nets- @en-web @k-films @enhanet @hyfenet

#enhypen imagines #jake imagines #— works !#enhypen x reader #enhypen angst #enhypen fanfiction #jake x reader #jake sim #enhypen jake #enhypen fanfics #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #jake fanfic #enha fics #enha jake #enhypen oneshots

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a-big-chicken-nerd · 7 months

Note

can we get more info on the movie ice emperor (i am sickly obsessed with the ice chapter and the ninjago movie. i will kill a man for more of the funny guy if needed)

WOOHOO OKAY im glad you asked i think about him constantly

first of all im open for ideas on what movie!neverrealm is like because im having a hard time coming up with anything but currently what ive sort of vaguely got is that its just more technologically advanced (not modern though) (like. mid to late 1800s-ish??)

vex is pretty much the same in personality except now hes british and is like a tired single parent

anyway ice emperor

hes not allowed to leave his throneroom and no one but vex is allowed inside the throneroom "for his safety" (its actually because hes so silly and un-royaltylike and vex worries no one will take the ice emperor seriously if they actually meet him)

he has a lot more energy than show!emperor and is constantly bored

internally watches his movie collections a LOT. from the outside it looks like hes just wandering around his throneroom and stopping to stare at nothing for about an hour, going over to a new spot and staring off again for another two hours

makes vex watch movies with him sometimes. ice emperors favorite movies are the star wars prequels, which vex also thought were cool at first but got sick of them after being forced to watch them like 45 different times throughout the years

makes tracks with ice around the throneroom to roll down on his heelies. vex will come in to a whole icy skatepark setup and the ice emperor will be like "crowd_cheering.mp3 VEX CHECK THIS OUT" and roll down a single ramp and immediately fall over and vex just has to clap and go "wow my lord that was so "sick""

vex HAS to hang out with ice emperor and try to keep him entertained or he will get bored & lonely and throw a fit and freeze everything in the castle

ice emperor is falling apart because he isnt made of titanium like show!emperor is, like whatever his outer layer is made of isnt handling the low temperatures and years of no maintenance very well at all. the armor and the mask is to hide all the damage . whether or not that makes him more or less creepy looking is up to personal opinion

he broke the Ten Billion Lumen Light in the throneroom on accident :[

and of course: BOREALL movie!boreal is a dragon but he acts like a big kitty. he is just lazy and doesnt listen to anyone except ice emperor and is usually lounging around on the castle roof.

will do what the ice emperor says but only takes the command as a suggestion. he gets distracted easily and takes shortcuts so he can be done and go back to napping

LOVES getting scritched behind the horns

uses the castle walls as a scratching post

he would LOVE the big laser pointer

the only time ice emperor can ever leave his throneroom is to go on the roof to tell boreal to do stuff (they always end up playing and hanging out for ages instead)

ice emperor makes big ice mice for boreal to chase around and catch

the ninja didnt have to kill boreal in this au. they saw this big wyvern displaying kitty behaviors and were like "oh yeah this is just like meowthra" and (very easily) distracted and befriended him. he got a lot of behind-the-horn scritches that day

im glad u guys seem to like movieverse emperor too because he just kind of kicked down the door of my brain one day and made himself at home and refuses to leave

#ninjago #the lego ninjago movie #ice emperor #vex #boreal #movieverse ice emperor

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athanasius-symposium-of-writings · 1 year

Note

Ongg your writing is 10/10!!!! Like I would die for you and everything you write!! Also, if it sparks you with creativity and you want to write it, could I request a little something for Astarion? I would love to have an ascended astarion react to tav trying to run away from him and getting caught in the act?

Aaaaaa thank you so much!!! ;3; glad you like it!!

Also loveee this idea!!

Rated: M

Taglist: @ghostinvenus

Warning: power imbalance

This was bound to happen, Astarion had always known one day his little love would try to escape. He doesn't understand why, given the world outside of paradise he has made Baldur's Gate into (from the shadows).

You should be grateful he found you before something horrible happened.

"Darling, now why would you do something so," The smile fades as he hisses out the final word, "Stupid?" His hand has a fierce hold on your neck, his nails digging into your skin, those red eyes full of anger and sadness.

You cannot react nor move, only endure as he tosses you to the floor of the abandoned cabin he found you in.

"Why!? If you wanted to go outside of Baldur's Gate I would have planned our vacation, darling. But instead, you run away!" You only are released from his mental command because he wants you to… Beg.

"You don't even see it," You stay on the floor sitting up holding your sore neck, "Becoming the monster you killed."

The roar of frustration makes you flinch, cowering in fear as he is ready to unleash; yet, you feel nothing. Though he never hurts, well, not without being during hurt sex; you fear him as you feared your master.

He once broke your ankle when you ran from him… Made sure it hurt and never healed properly…

Strangely being kidnapped by the Mind Flyers provided a tool to fix the damage.

"My love," You crawl back as he goes on his knees with both hands reaching out to what he treasures so dearly, "Treasure." The whimper, the fear, fuels his actions as he corners against a wall. "Eternity. We vowed to be together until the sun melts from the skies." His voice with a playful purr, his fingers dancing up a leg, "That is a vow you cannot run from— From me."

You close your eyes as you hear the whisper of his command.

Surrender.

"Let me in, (Name)." Closer, his warm twisted breath on your lips, "I know you want to go adventuring again. We will soon be patient."

When you gasp as his thoughts force themselves into your mind, slicing each mental barrier like a hot knife through butter, his lips claim yours.

Only gone for a few hours and feasts on you as if you were gone for weeks.

"Astarion."

"No, no, hush now, dear."

You obey.

He takes you, defiles you with his taint, binding you once more. Long ago it felt sacred to feed on one another, to share blood and flesh with one another. Now, his love— Or what he thinks is love— for you has turned to obsession and possession.

'I did not realize how long eternity is.'

#reader insert #fanfiction #anon ask #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate 3 fanfiction

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explosionkatsu · 2 years

Text

Getting back together

Bakugou x Reader

Okay, don't judge me. I’ve been reading a lot. Like a lot of Bakugou x readers here and maybe I wanna try. Haha! This is my first one-shot in here. Enjoy! 😘

“After defeating the villain. Dynamight was rushed to the hospital due to the severe damage the villain has caused him-”

It was raining and there you are sitting comfortably on your sofa.

Work was hectic and it stresses you out. Your boss has been giving you a huge amount of work and you couldn't help yourself but work overtime just to get things done quicker.

Being in your not-so-cozy apartment was all you can think of. Why? Because you don't feel like it. Not after what happened. You pushed to forget all the stuff that occurred but everywhere you go, it constantly reminded you of him.

It's almost 10 pm and you just got off from work, thinking if you could grab yourself something to eat before heading straight to your apartment. But your body was screaming exhaustion so you just decided to head home straight.

Home..

After the 15 mins trip, you finally reached your apartment and paid the driver. Once you entered your apartment, you locked the door behind you hearing a loud thud of thunder.

“Huh.. The forecast said it won't rain.. Weird.” You muttered before almost instantly heading to your sofa and lying down.

It's been 2 months since you and he last broke up and yet the ache was still there. Seeing him everywhere as well wasn't helping, making it difficult for you to get on.

You remembered him looking at you in despair when you told him you needed time. You remembered him telling you to not go when you were choking on your tears. You also remembered him embracing you so tight before you departed his apartment. And now, it's been 2 months ever since all that happened and here you are sulking over your own decision.

“Ah. How will I ever forget!” You cried out frustrated. “Maybe watching tv will work..” You mumbled.

Grabbing the remote, you clicked the power button before standing up and grabbing yourself a bottle of wine and a glass. As you went back to the sofa and place the bottle of wine on the coffee table, you were about to open the cap when you heard your ex-boyfriend’s hero name, making you look up to the television.

“After defeating the villain. Dynamight was rushed to the hospital due to the severe damage the villain has caused him-”

You weren't ready to see him on the stretcher all bloody and bruised up. The image of Katsuki on television made you dazed. You watched the medic pull Katsuki inside the ambulance before watching it take off in a rush to save the number 2 hero.

Without hesitating, you unconsciously snatch your work bag and fled your apartment fast forgetting to lock your apartment.

It was now raining and finally, a taxi pulled over.

“I’m glad you're awake bro,” Kirishima said sitting on the chair beside the hospital bed where Bakugou is on. “Why didn't you call us for backup? Bro, you could've died! That villain was powerful!” Kirishima added, worried about his friend.

“Tch. For like I care if the villain was powerful. I know I could handle him myself.” Bakugou grumbled looking out the window and watching the rain pour.

“Bro. If this is about Y/n-

“Dont fucking say her name! This has nothing to do with her!”

“Chill out, bro. I just noticed you've been working overtime lately. I'm just worried about you.” Kirishima looked at Bakugou worriedly. “After you and Y/n split up, you've been working nonstop.”

“This doesn't concern you, shitty hair,” Bakugou responded.

“Sigh. Alright, bro. I won't pry. But you know you can tell everything right?” Kirishima pressed on, trying to make Bakugou open his problems to him. He knows too well that this is how he’ll tell his problems to him. He respects his pal so much and even promised not to tell everyone about his troubles.

“I know,” Bakugou responded shortly.

A long silence was engulfing the room. Kirishima was waiting patiently for his friend to say something before getting up to grab himself a beverage from the vendo in the hospital canteen.

“I’ll get you water, I’ll grab us a drink,” Kirishima said. He was about to open the door when he heard his friend speak making him pause on his tracks.

“I just missed her.”

Kirishima sadly looks at his best friend who's undergoing heartbreak at the moment. He's well aware that Bakugou keeps himself occupied just to cover up the ache he is feeling which is not a useful thing.

Keeping his mouth shut, Kirishima open the room door greeted by a soaked Y/n who was about to knock.

“Y/n?” Kirishima said loudly, making Bakugou turn his head towards the door.

“K-kiri?! What’re you doing- Oh shit no. I shouldn't be asking that.” Y/n face palmed.

“Y/n! God! Look at you! You're soaked! Did you run all the way here!?” Kirishima asked frantically looking for a towel for Y/n to use.

“Yes. The taxi I was riding pulled over far from here so I had to run.” Y/n said panting. After catching her breath, she looked past Kirishima who was still looking for a dry towel to the man sitting on the bed.

“K-katsuki..” She mumbled tearing up.

Kirishima who heard this stopped and decided to give them space. “I’ll give you two some alone time. I’ll just buy us some drink,” he said pushing Y/n and closing the door behind him.

The atmosphere is thick. Y/n was still standing at the doorway while Bakugou turn his gaze on his lap.

Not used to this silence, Bakugou speaks out.

“Why the fuck are you soaked, huh? What kind of an idiot would run under this fucking rain.” Bakugou tched. Hearing no response from her, he added, “What? Are you just gonna stand there?”

He didn't know how much Y/n missed him. Just listening to him made her miss her more. Without asking for permission, Y/n darted her way to him and embraced him tightly, letting her tears out.

Bakugou was surprised. He was first surprised that she showed up, and now this? But he soon got over and embrace her in return, burying his face into her shoulder.

“What did you do?! Why are you so reckless!” Y/n cried out still embracing him.

He doesn't mind that his hospital gown is getting wet as long as she's the cause of it.

“You could've died! You idiot!”

“I’m sorry..” Bakugou mumbled.

“No. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm so sorry Katsuki.” After saying this, she pulled away and placed both her cold palm on his cheek as she look at him straight.

Bakugou on the other hand grabs her hand and leans his head against her palm. “Dumbass. Come’er.”

He placed both his hand on her shoulder and gently pulled her, placing his lips against her. His hand slowly made its way to her cheek, caressing it with his thumb, while Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck deepening the kiss.

Without them noticing, Kirishima watched them. Holding the knob and keeping the door slightly open while on his other hand was the drinks smiling to himself.

‘I’m glad..’ He thought

#bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki bakugō #bakugou katsuki #katsuki x you #bnha eijiro kirishima #bnha bakugo katsuki

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