#so get ready for this blog to become REALLY active with personal art
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So after much procrastination :coughtwoyearscough: I've finally managed to upload all the dnd art I've made since I started playing and it's... a lot.
Uh.
So this blog is about to become a LOT more active and it's primarily original sketches just as a warning. I'm so excited to finally share them with yall! tbh I've just been procrastinating this long because it felt like a lot of work and it is but it took this long to have the energy and headspace to do it so YEAH anyways
:3 I hope you fall in love with my oc blorbos with me ~<3
#Decided my dnd doodles are going here because I'm logged in on this account more#tbh I should probably go ahead and remerge the furry account back to a side blog#because honestly the reason only like <10% of my art gets put online is because it feels like such a hassle???#and really the only reason its even like that NOW is personal insecurity/anxiety anyways#so get ready for this blog to become REALLY active with personal art#at least until the queue runs out hahaaaaaa#EC speaks#There's still going to be the sporadic fanart because I can't NOT draw my boy#but Kalor (our campaign) has eaten a good half of my brain and if I don't draw my oc I will die so
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OMG. Hiiii. I love Tom Riddle and Theodore Nott. So I am totally going to ask you if you are comfortable to write either Professor Tom or a Professor Theo x fem reader fic with smut. Feel free to ignore this but I really struggle to find Professor Tom fics and Idk how to write them 😅
Professor Tom Riddle x f!reader
Warnings: strong language, toxic behaviour, manipulation, SMUT reader is a student in the beginning (still over 18!), reader becomes a little bit unhinged towards the middle (who wouldn't after meeting TR?) 18+MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Author's Note: Wow, this took me ages to post! I was having a break from this blog due to my exams, but I promise I will be more active from now on. Also, this is actually my first smut! (Idk how to write them either, so I do hope you like it.) I tried to build some plot into it, so it is not just filthy p*rn, haha. Thank you so much for your request! <3
There are moments that change your life. Moments when you realise you will never be the same and your whole existence is divided into two parts - before this, and after this.
For you, this moment was meeting Tom Riddle.
The memories of that rainy day when your gazes crossed for the first time continue to haunt your thoughts almost every second of your existence. And no matter how hard you try to forget, they become more and more vivid. Sometimes you wonder if you are actually reliving it or if it is just a fruit of your imagination.
The rain was so cold that day, that your whole body was shivering under your soaking clothes. You were running across the courtyard, trying to get inside as soon as possible. Both of your hands were clutching your bag on top of your head, trying to prevent the water from getting into your eyes. You were almost at the door when your body collided with someone, and you lost your balance falling into a muddy puddle.
You looked up, ready to give a piece of your mind to whoever made you end up like this, but your words got stuck in your throat the moment your gaze crossed his.
Eyes as dark as the night. Skin as pale as the moonlight. Hair falling in elegant curls on top of the most beautiful face you have ever seen. He silently offered you his hand, before he took off his jacket and wrap it around your trembling figure.
"Are you alright?", he asked. His voice was smooth like honey, yet deep. You couldn't do anything else other than slowly nod before your cheeks turned a light shade of red. He offered you a small smirk, before guiding you inside the castle. No words were exchanged between you after that.
Looking back, you are sure that this was the moment that changed your life.
You didn't know who he was at first. He looked so young, that it was natural to assume he was your age. You have not seen him before, so he must be a transfer student, just like you were a year ago. "He did not wear a robe, so he must not been sorted yet", you said to your friends later that day and they just shook their heads. No one has heard of any transferring students this year, yet here you were claiming you have seen in the flesh the man of your dreams.
And you were almost convinced you were dreaming a few days later when you found yourself sitting in the back of the class, while he was neatly writing his name on the black board.
Professor Riddle.
"As your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, I would like to establish a few ground rules right now", his voice was calm but dominant, "Always come prepared. I do not tolerate lazy students. No talking during class. No questions during lessons. If there is anything you do not understand, you can either conduct your own research in the library or visit one of my additional sessions every third Friday of the month."
Unlike you, the majority of the students have already heard of Tom and some even knew him personally, as he graduated just a few years ago. They carefully listened to all his rules, noting everything they should do to stay on his good side. No matter the house, the respect and fear felt towards Tom was felt by all students. You would lie if you said that this did not include you.
Yet in two weeks time during his first Friday session, you found yourself leaning over your notebook, while Tom was calmly explaining the lesson material to you. You were nodding your head, not paying even a little bit of attention to what he was saying. All you could focus on was the sound of his voice and the tingles that covered your whole body every time he lifted his eyes to your face, checking if were actually following.
"I am curious, miss, for the real purpose of your visit today", he said once you started packing your bag. You immediately froze in place, cold sweat forming on the back of your neck. Your trembling hands closed your bag before you turned to him with a tight-lipped smile.
"I am not sure I understand what you mean, professor."
He offered you a small smile, before grabbing his coat and briefcase and making his way towards you. Stopping just a step away from you, he lifted his hands toward your neck, making you gulp. You stood still, expecting him to wrap his hand around your throat, while his eyes burned into yours. His long fingers inched closer and closer to your skin, before wrapping around your tie and adjusting it so it could be centred.
"I am a patient and understanding man, miss", he said, his hand resting on the piece of cloth for a few more seconds, before moving away, "But I am no fool."
And you knew his words to be true. Because if there was a fool here, that was you. You knew it was wrong to pursue the foolish feelings that started to blossom in your chest. Despite the age difference being only a few years, falling for a professor was never a good idea. But how could you stop yourself when every time his eyes laid upon you there was a feeling of longing behind them? The small touches on your arms, every time he tried to explain to you the parts of the textbook you claimed "not to understand", the way his lips curved in a small smirk every time you volunteered to help during demonstrations in class, the way his gaze darkened that time he saw your friend's arms wrapped around your shoulders during dinner...
He may have thought he was subtle, but you knew there was some part of him that desired you as much as you did.
"What do you think of me, professor?", you asked one day, while sitting on the desk, arranging papers. As you were the only student who showed any interest in DADA sessions outside the scheduled classes, Tom moved the Friday meetings to his private office. They also started to happen every week, rather than once per month. And often, you were helping him with work, rather the other way around. "Why?", his gaze lifted from the papers he was grading, eyebrows furrowing in suspicion. He laid his pen down, crossing his arms in front of his chest and resting his body back on his chair. You sat next to him on a smaller wooden chair, but your hands did not stop arranging the graded exams, and neither did your focus move from them.
"I am...", you took a deep breath, thinking how to phrase your explanation, "Curious, I guess."
Tom watched you with interest, noting the way that your voice trembled in the beginning. Looking up at your face, his eyes trailed every single one of your features, before stopping at your lips.
"You are a good student", he finally said, his tone flat. Your shoulders immediately slumped and you let out a quiet "Oh.", your fingers now pressing the tower of papers on its sides to make sure it is stable. The silence between you grew longer as you tried your best to hide the disappointment you felt from his answer. Tom, on the other hand, was still staring at your face, trying to read your emotions based on your pursed lips and furrowed brows.
"All finished. I think it is better if I go", you finally said, unable to sit in his presence anymore. You stood up, ready to grab your bag from the floor, when cold fingers wrapped themselves around your wrist halting you in place. Tom stood up from his chair, moving behind you. Laying his free hand on the side of your waist, he leaned towards you, nose just a few inches from your hair. He took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of your perfume, and let out a low groan.
"What I really think...", he murmured, the fingers on your waist digging into your flesh, "is not something I shall voice out loud. The thoughts that flood my mind every time I see you are too..."
Your breath hitched.
"Too?"
"Sinful", you felt his breath on the back of your ear and your body involuntarily shivered. Before you could think of an answer, his hands left your body and he took a step back. You turned around, eager to close the distance again, but were stopped by him grabbing your shoulder and gently pushing you away.
"Do not", he warned, "do not make this harder for both of us."
"But I-"
"I think it is best if you leave."
You gulped. And the first time your eyes did not cast down in shame - instead you held his gaze, your expression hardening.
"You cannot do this to me", your voice trembled, "Toying with my feelings , then pushing me away."
He raised his brow and his hand fell from your shoulder. You stood in place, not making any attempts to get closer.
"I did not do such thing", his voice sounded low and dark, his eyes suddenly turning colder, "In fact, I am telling you now... Whatever hope you hold in your heart about anything happening between us, you should kill it now."
"But you said-"
"I know what I said", he interrupted you impatiently, "And I mean it. But whatever affection I have towards you does not change the fact you are my student."
Your fingers wrapped around the edge of your skirt and you clenched your jaw, moving your gaze towards the door. The rational part of your brain was telling you to just grab your bag and dash through the door. The other part, the one led by your heart, was screaming at you to stay and confront him. It did not take you long to decide which one to listen to.
"Why does it matter?", you snapped, "I am an adult already. And you are only a few years older. It is not illegal or anything!"
Tom let out an annoyed sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, before running his fingers through his dark curls. He turned around and walked around the desk, before slamming his hands on the hard surface.
"Merlin, you just do not understand!", his voice was full with irritation, "I can not lose my job. I can not lose everything I have worked for!"
"We can hide it", you protested, gluing yourself to his side and gripping his bicep, "Only for a few months! Only till I graduate!"
The man tore your hands away from his arm, cupping them in his palms instead. He tilted his head, searching your eyes, which were now starting to form tears of stress and frustration.
His face suddenly relaxed. The air between you felt lighter and a new spark of hope started to burn inside of you. His finger made its way to your cheek and wiped one of the tears that started to trail down your skin.
"Is it not curious, how weak love makes a man?", his finger trailed down to your jaw, before cupping it, "And no spell in this world is strong enough to save a man that has already fallen."
Your head instinctively leaned towards his hand and you closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of warmth of his skin on yours. If you could only freeze time, you would stay in this moment forever.
"I don't want to be saved", you murmured and despite not being able to see him, you could feel the small smile that grazed his lips once you said it. You freed your hands from his and wrapped them around his torso, burying your head in his chest. It took a few seconds for him to embrace your body, resting his chin on the top of your head.
And if you could only see the satisfied smirk and cold gaze on Tom's face, you would have known how true his words are. There is no spell in this world that could save you not that you have already fallen...
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You can't say exactly when the dream had turned into a nightmare.
Private sessions became everyday afternoon meetings, where you talked about different random topics. Tom never opened up about his past, even his Hogwarts years. On the other hand, he was a good listener and without you realising it, he managed to unravel your whole family history just within a week.
His silent nature did not bother you, however. You finally had someone who listened to you. You slowly started to detach from your friends, excusing your unnatural behaviour on all the extra academic work you were taking. They were worried, but every time they tried to voice their concerns, you rolled your eyes, before running to Tom to tell him about their words. "They are just jealous of you, my dear, " he would always chuckle, gently stroking your cheek, "because you found what they would keep searching for a long, long time."
Soon, he was the only person you really trusted. And he claimed he felt the same.
This is why he couldn't ask anyone else to sneak into the Headmaster's office and get the little leather diary in one of his desk drawers. This is also why you had to find a way to get the books he was interested in from the restricted section without getting caught. This is also why you had to lure the naive fifth-year Hufflepuff into the Chamber of Secrets and leave her there.
There was simply no one else whom he trusted to do these tasks. And you gladly completed each of his requests without question, doing everything in your power to keep him happy.
But soon this was not enough. And once you graduated all the promises he made to you broke into thousand little pieces, which were discarded into thin air.
"I don't need you anymore", his cold voice said, his eyes glued to the papers in front of him, "You can leave. Make sure you close the door."
Without sparing you even a glance, he grabbed the pile of papers and left for class, leaving you to gather your thoughts and pieces of your heart by yourself.
What did you do wrong? Why did he change so suddenly? Was it all a lie?
These questions continued to poison your mind for the next few years, while you tried to rebuild yourself. You did not realise how dependent you were on him, till you were left on your own. The weight of all the unsaid feelings within you was forcing you onto your knees, making you unable to get up and continue with your life.
And this is how two years after your graduation you found your way back to Hogwarts. The place where it all began...
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The wooden clock on the wall was ticking dangerously close to midnight when Tom finally got to his office. The teacher's gathering has been prolonged unnecessarily due to Dumbledore's ramblings and him finding problems where there are none. The amount of control the young professor has exercised to endure this long meeting has left him completely drained of energy, but he knew he still had to do some research about the Founders' Relics. After so many years he was finally getting close to achieving his goal and he was ready to sacrifice as many nights of sleep as necessary.
He knew something was not right the moment he opened the door. The lights were still off and everything seemed to be in the exact place he left it... but there was just the faintest sound of someone breathing which made him immediately reach for his wand.
"Ah, look who finally came", your giggle reached his ears before he saw you turning on his chair, fingers moving towards the small lamp on his desk, "Terribly rude of you to make me wait this long."
Tom's lips pressed into a thin line and his grip around his wand tightened. He traced his eyes over the visible parts of your body, noting the little changes that had occurred since he last saw you.
Your hair, which was usually neatly combed and put in a bun, was now in a messy braid, the front pieces framing your face. Your lips, which usually curved in a shy smile, were now forming an arrogant, almost sinister smirk. Your eyes, which have always looked up to him full of admiration, were now staring down at him with a glint of insanity.
"Get out", he commanded, striding towards you with his wand pointed towards your head.
Your raised your eyebrows and your mouth shaped an "o" in a mock horror, before you reached for your own wand, pointing it back at him.
"Now that is not a way to welcome your ex-lover, is it?", your eyes squint.
Tom scoffed at your words, stopping at the edge of his desk, before his expression hardened.
"You were never my lover", he stated, his head tilting to the side, "And I thought I was extremely clear when I said last time I saw you that you are not welcome here."
You hummed, eyes moving to the ceiling. Still holding your wand towards him, you relaxed further into his chair, lifting your legs onto his desk. With a curious gaze, you followed the stone patterns of the walls around the room, while scrunching your face in disgust.
"3 years, Tom", you finally said, landing your attention back on him, "3 years you have been here and your office is as bland as it was when you first came here. It brings my mood down, you know? It's so grey!"
"You can leave then", Tom hissed through his teeth, making a few more steps till he stayed right in front of you. The tip of his wand rested under your chin and he pulled it upwards, making you look up, "I am giving you exactly a minute to leave, before I take your life."
A loud giggle left your lips and you pressed your neck further into his wand.
"How generous!"
"45 seconds."
You gently put your own wand back into your pocket, not moving your eyes from his. Tilting your head, your mouth formed a wide smile.
"Okay."
His brows shot in confusion, his jaw clenching. You could see his on the wand became tighter, his knuckles almost white.
"Okay?"
"Do it", you shrug your shoulders, "My ghost will be eager to see how are you going to explain why your new assistant went missing after coming to your office to drop a list of all the students that are going to be in your... our class this year."
Before you know it, his free hand flew to your face and gripped your face. His fingers dig into your jaw, lifting it dangerously close to his face.
"My assistant?", he let out a dry chuckle, "Good try, dear. And a terrible way to waste that minute I gave you."
With lips already starting to form the words of the deadliest spell, his fingers dug deeper into your face, before his eyes landed on the sparkling object in your palms. The unforgivable words quickly died in his throat and he withdrew his wand, stumbling back. Eyes full of anger met yours, who in contrast were sparkling with playfulness.
"How did you get that?", he demanded, reaching towards the object, but you pulled it back, before laying it on your head. Putting your elbows on his desk, you fluttered your eyelashes, smiling brightly.
"Do you think it suits me?"
"Stop playing around."
"You are such a bore", you rolled your eyes, "I went on a holiday to Albania. And I found this gorgeous, gorgeous diadem, which turned out to be Rowena Ravenclaw's. What are the chances?"
Tom seemed unamused by your story, instead twitching his jaw. His eyes stayed glued to the diadem on your head, the reflection of the sapphire on it sparkling in his cold eyes.
"How did you know where it was?", his gaze moved towards you, his hand putting his wand back in his coat. His tall form moved towards you again, this time taking a seat on the empty surface of the desk in front of you. With a smile, you took the diadem out of your head, twirling it between your fingers.
"You don't think you were the only one who managed to charm the famous Helena Ravenclaw, do you?", you raised your eyebrow, moving your tongue across your top lip, "You underestimate the power of women's empathy and love for gossip, Tom."
He let out an airy laugh, running a hand through his thick curls. After two years, he hasn't changed anything about his appearance. His face, his haircut, and even the suits he wore were the exact same ones he already wore when you were a student. You would lie if you said you didn't enjoy it - that meant that the Tom you loved was still somewhere inside of him. Your Tom.
"I'm impressed", he finally said, moving his hands towards his knee and locking his fingers around it. His face dropped into a serious expression once again, "Give it to me."
You tilted your head, pursing your lips. Your eyes moved to the diadem, before landing back on him.
"Oh, I can't do that, Tom", you rested your palm on your chest, looking up at him with doe eyes, "He would be very disappointed if I don't bring it back to him."
Tom took a deep breath, his upper lip twitching.
"He?", he pressed his tongue to the side of his cheek, "Who is "he"?"
You twirled in his chair, pressing the diadem closer to your chest.
"My Lord, of course", you let out a giggle, resting your cheek on your shoulder and closing your eyes. You still managed to see the way Tom's body tensed, however.
"He sent his regards to you", you smiled, standing up, "If you hadn't left me that day, he wouldn't have met me and subsequently learned all about making horcruxes."
The man's eyes immediately darkened and his hand flew towards your wrist, stilling you in place.
"Name."
"Huh?"
"Tell me his name", Tom hissed, his nostrils flaring. You stepped closer to him, noses almost brushing.
"And why would I do that?", you raised your brows, your voice turning into a mocking laugh, "Do you think I would betray him... for you?"
The sudden feeling of his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you forward made you almost lose your balance and you grabbed his shoulder in reflex to keep you from falling on top of him. Nesting his head in the curve between your neck and shoulder, Tom pressed his lips next to your ear before muttering:
"You, my dear, are a liar", his teeth grazed the end of your earlobe, "And a very bad one."
Your whole body froze and you tried to push yourself away from him, but his arms were holding you firmly in place. Suddenly all the confidence you have displayed in his presence so far melted under the warmth of his touch, and you were left only with the hope you could still lie your way out of this situation.
"I am not lying", you protested with a quickening breath.
Tom lifted his head from your shoulder and rested his forehead on yours instead. His eyes stared deep into your own and his warm breath on your face made your whole body involuntarily tremble.
"I have already told you I am not a fool", one of his hands slid from your waist towards your arm and then hand, where you were still clutching the diadem. His fingers wrapped around it and pulled it out of your grasp with ease. Without looking at it, he placed it on the desk behind his back, before his hand found its way to the top of your head.
"I know you better than you know yourself, my dear", he muttered, his hand gently stroking your hair, "And I know there is no room in your heart for anyone but me. You would not be here otherwise."
He pulled back enough to be able to take a better look at your face. His gaze fell from your half-lidded eyes to your parted lips.
"You are mine. Always were, always will be."
A loud whine escaped your throat before it was swallowed by Tom's mouth on yours. His plump lips were chapped, a result of hours of his teeth sinking into them, trying to hold back all the snarky remarks he had for his fellow colleagues. The rough feeling made your knees buckle and you closed your eyes, relaxing fully in his arms.
Without breaking the kiss, he turned you around and with a swift move of his hand, pushed the diadem and a few books out of the way, before laying you on the cold surface. Your hands found their way into his hair, tugging the soft curls.
A low growl left his lips and he lifted his lips from yours, a trail of saliva connecting them, before it was broken by his fingers cupping your chin.
"This is what you wanted, is it not?", his voice was suddenly deeper and darker, "For me to take you on the same desk I once you graded you."
His words made a loud moan to escape you and your back arched up, seeking nothing more than to be close to him. With a low chuckle, he pressed his palm between your breasts, pushing you flat on the furniture beneath you. You opened your mouth to complain but were quickly silenced once he pushed his index and middle fingers in your mouth, almost making you choke. Fixating your gaze on his, you closed your lips around them and started to suck, making sure to flatten your tongue in the process.
The image before your eyes was something you had dreamt of countless times before - Tom, with his messy curls and parted lips, panting while the fingers of his free hand were skilfully unbuttoning his vest. You did not waste any time in helping him, focusing on shakingly unbuttoning his belt.
"So impatient", he clicked his tongue, withdrawing his fingers from your mouth, so could remove his shirt. Once his torso was in full view, you did not hesitate even a second before you lifted yourself in a sitting position and attached your lips to his neck. Nibbling and sucking the smooth skin, you started to nibble and suck your way down to his chest. His head fell back and he closed his eyes, his muscles relaxing under you.
Tom Riddle may not be a man who was capable of love, but he was a man after all. And it would be a lie to say he has never thought of you in a more... erotic way. You have always been so obedient and good, doing everything for him without any hesitation. He has always found that incredibly attractive, but not enough for him to act on his desires.
Now, however, the sight of you has ignited some primal urges within him that he never felt before. Maybe it was the few drinks he had consumed prior at the gathering or maybe it was the idea of the the crazy lengths you were willing to go in order to get back to him...
Tom Riddle would probably never know the reason for him giving up control for the first time in his life. To you, nonetheless.
His mind came back to reality when he felt you pushing him on his chair and nestling yourself between his legs. Looking up at him, you tugged his pants and boxers down, letting his erection free. You let your index finger gently caress the length of it, making it twitch. A small giggle left your lips before you repeated the gesture.
"Stop teasing me", the man groaned, and his palm rested behind your head in order to push you towards his member, but you swiftly moved to the side dodging it. You squinted your eyes, moving your hands to his thighs and digging your nails into them.
"You", the word was hissed through your teeth, "are in no position to order me around."
Tom scoffed and was about to argue when your mouth unexpectedly wrapped around the head of his penis, twirling your tongue around it. He let out a choked gasp and he tried to put his hand on your head again before you smacked it away. Swallowing his pride, he rested both of his arms on the side of his chair, bucking his hip forward.
Carefully watching his reaction you wrapped your hand around him, slowly moving it down and back up again, following the movement of your mouth. The feeling of him filling your mouth was causing some saliva to start dripping your chin, but rather than pulling away, you pushed him further into your mouth till your nose was buried in his dark pubic hair. The feeling of his swollen head hitting the back of your throat made you gag, causing Tom to groan in pleasure.
"Fuck this", he muttered, before grabbing you by your hair and pulling your head up, before pressing it down again. His hips buckled in harmony with your head, making sure you were taking all of him. His dick was now coated in your saliva, making it glisten in the dim light. You closed your eyes, the lack of oxygen making them sting. The rapid pace with which he was moving was making it hard for you to breathe through your nose and you tried giving him a warning slap on his leg, which he purposefully ignored. Instead, he moved his other hand towards your chin and held your head still, while he continued to thrust his hips up and down. Sloppy wet noises filled his office, being interrupted only by his heavy breathing.
Your thighs clenched together in a weak attempt to relieve the burning ache between your legs. The way he was using your mouth to satisfy himself was making your underwear damp, yet you knew better than to touch yourself yet. After so many sleepless nights during which you tried to relieve yourself, imagining how would it feel to taste him, you wanted to focus all your attention only on him.
Feeling he was close, Tom finally pulled your head back and examined your face. Both saliva and tears were smeared all over your chin and your cheeks were flushed in rosy colour.
"What a pretty sight you are, my dear", he smiles, wiping some of it with his thumb. You licked your lips, getting up on your feet.
"And you are such a smooth talker", your face leaner just inches from his, "I wonder if you are as good with the action as you are with words."
Taking this as a challenge, he stood up and pushed you back onto the desk, before lifting your skirt. His fingers hooked under the elastic bands of your panties and with one tug they snapped, leaving you completely exposed in front of him.
Tom gulped, burning the image of your waiting arousal into his mind. His fingers made their way towards your slit, gathering the wetness before easily sliding his middle finger in. You moaned at the contact, fluttering your eyes closed. He pumped his fingers a few times, his eyes carefully observing your facial expression before he slid it out. You whined at the loss of contact, opening your eyelids only to find him smirking down at you.
"Do you really think you deserve me wasting time on your pleasure?"
"Fuck you!", you snapped, resulting in him grabbing your neck and squeezing so hard, an airy cough left your lips.
"Such a dirty mouth", he lifted your face up, his jaw clenching, "but such a weak mind. Look at the pathetic mess you are..."
Your lips parted to offer a snarky response, but your mind quickly went blank the moment he slid fully into you. Arching your back, your hands found their way around his shoulders, while his rested on both sides of your head.
Tom did not waste any time in developing a quick pace, which made you roll your eyes back. With each thrust the head of his cock was brushing against your cervix, making your whole vision white. His left hand moved towards one of your breasts, pinching and twisting the oversensitive nipple between his fingers. His other hand made his way to your pussy, where his thumb started to draw sloppy circles over your clit.
Never in your life have you felt such pleasure in your life. Of course, you had previous lovers during the past two years while trying to get Tom out of your mind, but nothing compared to this. Curling your toes, you lifted both of your legs and rested them on his shoulder.
Both of you groaned in unison when you felt him going even deeper than before. His upper body collapsed on top of yours, his lips immediately latching onto your other nipple. Still gripping his shoulders, you dragged your nails down his back, leaving angry red marks behind.
The knot in your stomach started to tighten and your moans became louder and louder. Moving your hips so you can meet Tom's thrusts, you looked at his face, only to find him staring back with eyes clouded with desire. His fingers were now working faster on your sensitive bud and you let out a shaky breath: "Tom, I...", you could not finish your sentence, your vocabulary suddenly consisting only of his name.
"Shhh", he whispered, his hand moving from your breast to your cheek. He gently stroked it with his thumb and suddenly you saw in front of you the same Tom that charmed you years ago, "I've got you."
His words were enough to cause the knot to snap and your whole body went rigid, squeezing and pulsating around him. A few harsh trusts and Tom suddenly tensed on top of you, as he painted your insides white. You both held onto each other, fingers digging into soft flesh, as you melted into your shared euphoria.
It was not romantic.
It was primal. Rough. Dirty.
It was everything you have imagined.
Finally relaxing on top of you, Tom buried his head in your shoulder, trying his best to calm his breathing down. You laid under him, crushed under his weight, yet enjoying every second of the contact he allowed you to have.
Against your better judgment, you lifted your hand and started to gently stroke his hair. Against his better judgment, he allowed you to and closed his eyes in the process.
Tired from the long day and your office activity, Tom lifted you in his arms, his now soft member slipping out of you and he sat back on his chair, adjusting the backrest so you can both take a more comfortable position.
You lifted yourself from his chest and raised your eyebrow, but bit back your tongue the moment your gaze crossed his stern one, warning you not to voice whatever you had in your mind. Letting out a small chuckle, you shook your head and laid it back down on his skin.
There was an urge burning inside of you to mock him about showing gentleness, but deep down you knew this was your only chance to enjoy it. So you closed your eyes and relaxed, finally being able to fall asleep without the haunting dreams of what could've been.
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The sunlight was painting the whole room in a beautiful gold colour and Tom let out a low groan when he felt it hitting his face. His hand made its way over his eyes, shielding them from the light, while his mind slowly started to become aware of his surroundings. The uncomfortable chair was making all of his muscles ache and he immediately regretted not gathering the energy last night to make his way back to his room. The chill air coming from the window has not helped too, especially when we was only partly covered and-
Tom's eyes shot open looking down at his body and finding his suit jacket thrown over his waist and private parts. You, however, were not to be found. Not on top of him, not on the desk, nowhere in the room.
He immediately stood up, grabbing his pants from the floor and furiously putting them on, while breathing heavily. His gaze fell on the stack of books he pushed from his desk last night and he immediately fell on his knees, scanning the floor around him.
"No, no, no", he hissed under his breath, pushing his hair out of his eyes, "That little serpent!"
Not only you have left, but you also have taken the diadem with you. No matter how much he searched for it, it was definitely not here.
You tricked him.
Getting up back to his feet, Tom kicked one of the books on the floor, before slamming his hands on his desk. His breathing was hard and he could feel his blood boiling in his veins. Suddenly, his attention was caught by a small parchment of paper placed next to his quill. Unfolding it, he could have sworn his heart stopped for a second.
"My dear Tom,
Thank you for our wonderful night together. I did not want to leave you so early, but I had to be out of the castle before everyone else woke up. To be truthful with you, I am not going to be your new assistant. But your already knew that, so I guess it is not shocking news. I sneaked it yesterday when all of the teachers were having a party (or what you call a gathering, ha!). Neither do I have a new lord. You already knew that as well.
Do not stress about the diadem, as it is safe with me - if there is one thing I learned from you is that I need to take good care of horcruxes once they are made. I know it was probably foolish of me to bring it to you last night, as it does hold a part of my soul, but I promise that from now on I will take better care of it.
Without doubt your paths shall cross again. Remember Tom: You are mine. Always were, always will be.
Love, y/n
P.S. - I hope you do not mind that I helped myself by getting your keys from your jacket and getting a shower in your room. Also, I think you need to follow your own advice and start putting your objects away. I found your diary resting on your bedside table, so I had to take it with me. Do not worry - I promise I will keep it safe...
for now."
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CC artwork: Nasan Hardcastle
#tom riddle#tom riddle imagine#slytherin imagine#tom riddle smut#professor tom riddle#professor tom riddle imagine#tom riddle x reader#professor tom riddle smut
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The Commander Says Goodbye
I’m not going to lie, I’m extremely anxious as i’m writing this, out of what these news could mean to a lot of people, and my heart feels heavy enough it could drop down my ribcage any minute from now and squish all my other organs. But I’ve been dancing around this topic for a long time now, and I think i’ve finally reached a point where i can’t ignore it anymore, for my own sake.
I hereby announce Commander Yes has come to an end.
As I’ve mentioned plenty of times before, here and to many other people, when I began this comic all the way back in 2018 I was in a really bad, really low place in my life in every sense of the word, and it was a spur-of-the moment decision to cheer myself up, because Path of Fire had just released and my enjoyment of the game had reached fever pitch and I had been playing Guild Wars 2 alone since as far as launch, and none of my other friends had ever really gotten into it. I guess I just, dunno, cried out into the big maelstrom of the community, one voice amidst millions, because i wanted SOMEBODY to look at what i did and revel in the nerdery with me.
And somehow the snowball began to roll and people wanted more and more of what I could do, and I was being actively reached out to, and, well, some time after that I landed my first ever job, I discovered a lot of things about myself, and I found myself in communities that welcomed me with open arms, and many of the people in there have since become among the best friends I could’ve possibly encountered, kindred souls who i’ve shared joys and sorrows for many years and who I can’t imagine living without anymore.
And all the while I kept making the comics, and with every entry posted every week I’d keep having people stopping to comment on them, and whether they were dumb jokes or personal takes on the story, they’d all share how much what I do kept hitting them in the kokoro, and to this day whenever I play anywhere in the game I still get people who recognize me and thank me for doing what I do. It was wonderful, it IS wonderful, and seeing that response motivated me to keep going, because what did still mattered to people, out there.
But I did always say I planned to keep doing these comics until I ran out of energy for them, and I think i’ve finally reached that point.
Because ever since I actually landed that job I’m exhausted and sleep-deprived every other day, so much so that I only have time to work on the comic on saturdays and sundays, and it gets harder and harder to just sit and draw, and at that point it was just more work, and while I still enjoy and play Guild Wars 2 a lot, it no longer consumes my time and attention like I’ve used to and i’ve been having fun with more personal projects, and honestly the direction the story is taking these days does not sit right with me and it’s hard to find inspiration in that, and this might be borderline selfish but every year I find people care less and less about the comics and it really takes a hit to you motivation when hardly anybody responds after you’ve spent a whole weekend trying to squeeze a five-page comic out.
And, well, I have been doing these for six years straight, and I think that’s a good run. I’m tired, and ready to move on, at long last. Let it be someone else’s turn.
But that’s the beautiful thing about this community, isn’t it? Even if I’m hanging up the hat, there are a whole lot of fantastic artists out there, as we speak, still cranking out works of art, deserving of all the attention they can get. And think of all the artists yet to come! For every story that ends, another story is just about to begin!
The world keeps on spinning, one way or another.
I’ll be closing my patreon shortly after this, but the reddit archives and tumblr blog shall remain for people to browse whenever they feel like (or until they both go in flames, i guess, what social media isn’t about to these days)
I still don’t think I ever was that much of a big deal, but all the same, to everyone who’s ever supported me and helped me be the person I am right now, to everyone who’s been there from the beginning, to all the devs of this game that has captured us for nearly a decade now, to all my fellow players and artists out there
Thank you.
See you out there, fellow commanders. Still the stars find their way.
#guild wars 2#guild wars 2 fan art#guild wars 2 fan submission#snargle gutslurper#commander yes#that's all folks#thank you for everything#keep loving yourselves okay? you're worth it#all of you#see you in the game :)
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hi sci!! i love your art!! i was wondering how you come up with and work out your plot for ask spiderpool and like where you want it to go? I like writing and drawing but i'm really bad at coming up with and sticking to a plot yk?
hi anon!! thank you!!!
nothing starts off fully formed, anon! plot is difficult - even with my fics, there's often very little in the way of plot - there's just a starting point, and then you write, and you write, and you keep writing, and you gain momentum and it eventually goes somewhere. it's constantly shifting and evolving, and it very rarely sticks to a plan.
when i started i didn't have very much of a plan other than "they're roommates. but it would be cool if they kissed at some point." and everything else kind of just followed after. their personalities and flaws and quirks just started accumulating with every ask i answered - and with every ask i answered, it started becoming clearer and clearer that they probably weren't going to kiss any time soon.
i think when i write, absolutely everything is dictated by character - and sometimes that's the enemy of plot. you might have it in your head "these characters need to go here." but wait a second. one of the characters really doesn't want to go here, and that's where you have to put in the work. plot alone is so dull without characters actively resisting - characters having faults they need to overcome to GET from a to b.
for me, the plot should exist to force the character to overcome their flaws. if the plot exists and isn't in any way tied to the character and their flaws then... god. this is why so many marvel movies and current comics really fall flat for me. i really don't care about how elaborate your plot is, and all the twists and whatever - if it isn't personal, and doesn't serve your character at all, there's - there's... what's the point?
when i started the blog, it kind of became really clear the things wade and peter needed to overcome before they can love each other - so. one. peter needs to overcome his biases and holier-than-thou attitude over wade. and wade? wade's practically a doormat, and needs to realise peter isn't some unshakeable beacon of perfection. not only that, but wade's possessive. he's greedy, and wants ownership over peter.
so what to do. what to do to fix all of that.
peter needs to screw up, betray wade's trust.
wade needs to see peter get ugly.
wade needs a moment to be truly unselfish.
to prove himself a hero.
i think maybe the best way to build out a plot is bare-bones. step one. where do you want the characters to get to. what's the end game? for that first era of ask-spiderpool, i wanted wade and peter to get together. as a couple. okay. claps hands together. what is stopping that from happening right now. and what can i throw at them to get them to overcome that.
right now on ask-spiderpool, now that they're together - the end game is adopting ellie. what's stopping them? trauma. so much trauma. i have so many scripts about ellie ready, but when i came back i was hit with the brick wall of "oh. oh god. wade needs so much therapy first. so much therapy."
so basically, all the plot is to the ends of getting wade and peter to figure their shit out before they can have the thing they want. and ouugh, they act against me all the time. sometimes to the point where i get writers block - and then i go for a run, or a swim, and my mind is hacking away at how to solve those issues.
i guess my advice is... first! what's your end goal. where do you want these characters to be? why aren't they there already? how can you forcibly push them there, kicking and screaming? there you go.
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Hero Worship, Terrible Artists And Thursday
Trigger warning; this blog/essay contains mentions of sexual violence, racism, ableism and homophobia. Please keep yourself safe.
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Recently, I've had a bit of a detachment phase going on.
Realising that your heroes aren't perfect is a very natural, and important, part of maturing; no matter how well put together somebody's image might be, no person is incapable of making a mistake, or doing something “problematic”. Notes app apologies seem to have become a staple of online culture, when a celebrity's old tweets resurface about some miscellaneous topic, and the swift hammer of chronically online twitter — oops, X — users falls down to determine whether this person is “good”.
Of course, when the topic is serious, concerning racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, sexual assault etc., I find that saying we should “cancel” these people shows the trivialisation of serious issues in online spaces. Though, I suppose the concept of an angry mob is something that’s been in our society for a long, long time, so it harkens back to our primal instincts of justice. That being said, you can't “cancel” anybody; rich people find their way back to the top and move on 99.9% of the time, and all we can do is watch. This is the hellscape of capitalism (late stage, if we’re going to be specific). And it is frustrating beyond all words, so we have giant campaigns to seek some kind of catharsis, hoping we can get this person beaten with virtual sticks. The internet is often a lawless place, so we create our own type of karma.
What helps us in our quests, naturally, is the fact that all information can now so easily be dropped into our laps. A quick google search is all you need to find out somebody’s achievements, and their greatest “flops”. Exposé articles and think pieces are ready for us to consume, mull over in silent discomfort, before at the end, there’s the unexplainable dread that we now have to come to a conclusion about all of this, by ourselves; there is no definitive authority on this subject, no great philosophical statement, because, as we are constantly reminded by the snot nosed critics, “art is subjective”. Suddenly, after being metaphorically waved off by the high brows, who declare us too unimaginative to understand the genius of Woody Allen, we now have to decide the morality of a piece of work, or person. We are inexplicably burdened by our love for art.
My mother once told me that “all knowledge is good knowledge”. I don’t really consider my knowing of Johnny Depp’s sexual abuse of his ex-wife to be particularly “good”. My knowledge becomes a dead weight. Clair Dederer, in her book ‘Monsters: What Do We Do With Great Art By Bad People?’ [2023], (which I took quite a few cues and good takeaways from), put it best: “Biography used to be something you sought out, yearned for, actively pursued. Now it falls on your head all day long.”
Because of this, I see that the backlash from fans against a public figure can be more vitriolic than most — these are the people who actively seek out those biographies, and delve deeply into them. Of course, you have the adamant defenders, but there's something oddly heartbreaking about the fury of an ex-fan, who found such value in somebody's work, perhaps deriving a piece of their soul from it, only for the creator to do something they find to be unforgivable.
The most recent of this phenomenon, and possibly the most impactful to me personally, I've found, is the case of Neil Gaiman fans, and how his countless sexual assaults have left much of his audience feeling deeply betrayed. I have seen countless fans, or perhaps ex-fans now, speaking about how his work inspired them, made them feel safe despite the world not wanting them — only to be told that, just like so many other rich, white men, Gaiman took advantage of his power, and inflicted unforgivable trauma on many young women. Discussions of death of the author are rife; separation of art from the artist begins (if it can begin).
Full clarity here — I was never a big fan of Gaiman, not to say that makes me better than anyone who was. I do label myself as a nerd, so perhaps not being very familiar with his works makes me a poser, but I was aware of his significance in comic book culture. He was one of those acclaimed figures that people would talk about online as though he were a modern day God, praising his writing, his activism, and all around “good vibes”. I read “Coraline” once, was vaguely impressed by it, and then moved on. That didn’t make the news of his crimes any less jarring to me; many people who I met through online spaces who were fans of his are absolutely heartbroken, and the backlash felt so personal, so devastated, that in a strange, twisted way, I am intrigued by it.
How can we be so emotionally invested in people we don’t know?
Trust is very rarely a two way street when it comes to the artist you like (though it can be possible). We truly don't know anyone through our screens, no matter how hard we could try to. The outpouring of grief over somebody you don't really know is both something irrational yet rational. You are mourning a person you've only seen a speck of; because artists do put a part of their soul into their work, and if you look for it, you can see it. People grasp that with both hands, find meaning in it, and use it to find strength in themselves. That is something vulnerable, intimate — if you choose to kill the author, after they commit some heinous crime, do you kill a piece of yourself?
What I'm trying to get at here, is that relationships between artists and their audiences are fraught; parasocial, if we're going to use that word (whole nother box of worms). Going back to my first statement, I have been going through a process of carefully detaching myself from the artists I enjoy, so I save myself at least a part of the humiliation and heartbreak in case something awful comes out about them. It's a self preservation tactic based on suspicion, that isn't new. And I am not immune to it. Nobody is.
With great effort, I’ve pulled myself away from Shirley Manson, from Chappell Roan, from Jarvis Cocker, from Anthony Green, from Paramore, from My Chemical Romance (efforts still ongoing here — MCR is a terribly easy band to get attached to). Now I attempt to see things objectively, so I don't have to feverishly hope and pray that none of the artists I love have sexually assaulted a child. I'm aware I sound horrifically cynical.
That being said, the band Thursday from New Jersey will always be perfect to me.
No, no — that's wrong. Hold on.
I know Thursday cannot be perfect, because I will always stand by the philosophy that nothing is perfect. Yet, I have the most trouble detaching myself from this band. It's a bit of a twisted cycle, I will go through phases of completely cutting away any personal strings I have to the artists, and yet inevitably I return.
Probably part of the draw is the golden retriever-like charisma of lead singer Geoff Rickly, who's very vocal on his Instagram stories, and is very open to talking with fans. I'm one of those fans, occasionally asking questions in direct messages, or sharing artwork, though I'm sure I'm incessantly irritating. I find Geoff oddly comforting, as a person I maybe could have been — musically gifted, friendly, and able to make good connections with people. Instead, I sit alone in my small room at university, having dropped most of my musical interests in favour of a law degree that I'm not entirely sure I want to do. And I know I'm young, in comparison, I still have (in my opinion far too much) time left; but the existential dread isn't easy to cope with. I have to make decisions that I feel I am wildly unequipped for, in a world that clearly does not want me. Geoff exudes a kind of warmth and openness, which makes me feel as though maybe I can be as content as him, eventually.
The rest of the band are active on social media, each bringing their own unique personalities. Tucker Rule, the drummer, is the most frequent poster, sharing almost every concert he does (which is a fucking lot, considering his position in LS Dunes as well), as well as a few sweet posts about his family. Stu Richardson, bassist and producer, is relatively quiet, but his few words count just as much as anybody else's, and his handprints are all over their new single's (White Bikes) slick production. I definitely found a sense of safety in the band, after I listened to a podcast between Geoff, Steve Pedulla and Norman Brannon, the two guitarists, and found that queer people in hardcore was, well, something that existed.
And the fandom provides warmth as well; a strange mix of older hardcore guys, and younger, mainly gay and/or trans fans, who create a space which is marginally more accepting than probably every other fandom I've ever been in. Then, just as I was furious about none of my favourite musicians speaking about Palestine, Sudan and the Congo, Geoff Rickly calls on stage almost every night for an end to the genocides in each of those countries, and rags on US imperialism.
It's glorious. It's all I've ever wanted in a band.
It's fucking scary.
Because now, what do I do if these people ever disappoint me? How should I proceed? Should I burn my baseball cap that I got from their website and paid extortionate shipping fees for? Should I toss my Thursday albums in the garbage? The CDs that Geoff so kindly signed, after following their concert in London during summer, I utterly blew my chance to meet him and had a panic induced meltdown in front of their tour bus?
(I still feel embarrassed about that.)
All that pain, all that grief, and hatred, and love — where does it go?
Fuck if I know.
Instead, I'd like to perhaps posit something new. Detaching from your heroes is good; but a full disconnect is usually impossible. Perhaps we should find new things to explore, new ways to fall in love, get heartbroken by, and move on from. This is just the human experience, to love and to lose, and to move onwards; not everybody in the world is going to disappoint you, despite what the cynics may argue. We are not naturally selfish and cruel. Not to bring politics into things, but those traits are normalised under capitalism.
At a point, you realise that the artist who has done something terrible is not one of a kind. They are one of many; sexual assault, in the case of Neil Gaiman, is something that occurs so often among rich, high status, powerful men, that it is normalised. Neil Gaiman seemingly did everything right, he was an ally to the queer community, he was a “feminist” by all accounts, and yet here we are. But I find that putting any more effort into someone like that, who wears the face of a good person, to be tiring and not something anyone should go through.
It will take time, but I feel as though a mild detachment is necessary, for yourself, and the artist, because you can have trust both ways, through a sense of mutual understanding. You don't realise you have something until it's gone, how fandoms mourn their favourite creators when those creators step away from fandom and social media entirely (and for good reason!) and leave us behind; like Alan Moore, Gerard Way or Ryan Ross. Their (public) biographies stop — we are no longer privy to their lives. And who are we to tell these people what they can do? Fame is a terrible thing, most of the time, yet it’s a tragedy that we keep having to learn, every time a young artist passes away.
Funny how it takes somebody dying for us to pull together.
So, I’m going to keep being annoying about Thursday, milk that youthful naivety, until I grow up a little more. I’m going to keep making my silly portraits of band members, because I know the day will come where I will have to put my paintbrush down, and permanently trade it in for a keyboard and court documents. With age, I expect that some things will not affect me as deeply as they do now, and I will understand my idols as I become closer to their age. I will learn to distance myself, with time — but I can still care. It is never a crime to care. Love is a burden I will gladly shoulder for a little while more.
I don’t want to wade into faux deep talk, and get in over my head, so I’ll wrap things up now.
Maybe I've been completely pretentious this entire ramble. Maybe all these words mean fuckall in the grand scheme of things, someone’s surely thinking “we have bigger things to worry about”, and I don’t disagree. So, I'll leave you with this: be kind to yourself, fall in love with new art. When the artists you love disappoint you deeply, scream “fuck you”, with righteous rage and sadness — cry and feel. Write that think piece. Burn a book if you want to.
But do not ever give up on yourself for trusting somebody. You still have love to give to those who better deserve it, and your love is worth so much more than you can ever imagine. Love is neither rational, nor logical, but it is real.
#thursday#new jersey hardcore#separating the art from the artist#blog#thoughts i guess#this ended up being far too personal#geoff rickly#i cannot tag this as philosophy thats pretentious#thursday band
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Stuart Semple's D.A.B.A & The Destruction of the Destroyed Work
Stuart Semple seems to be a subject I've covered a lot within my short time writing this blog. Mostly because of the gallery space he has in the town centre which I almost always write a review on and I get to pick out the pieces I really like as well as the pieces I did not like so much. That's art though. This piece is a bit different because it is actually about Stuart Semple and his recent and 'controversial' exhibition which was set to be open until the 25th in Soho.
The concept of D.A.B.A (Destroy All Bad Art) started with Semple destroying some of his older works, pieces he felt it was ready to get rid of, to perhaps even upcycle it into something different. The controversies began when he revealed this information, especially considering some of these works are worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. Most people can't seem to understand the idea of getting rid of something that is worth so much money and why would they? Why would someone destroy something of so much worth when they could sell it and never have to work another day in their life? In art world terms, that's boring. There simply isn't enough drama anymore to simply sell old works onto the next person so someone rich with an ugly home can hang it in the midst of their all marble multi million pound mansion in Beverly Hills.
Performance in art has always been very prominent and controversial, but I once again feel as though we have seen it all. We need to see something new, something so crazy that the next artist wants to come along and do more. We remember the banana piece taped to the wall selling for millions and then being consumed by another performance artist right? Nobody could fathom why 1. a banana was suddenly worth so much money and 2. why another artist would come along, destroy it and somehow make the original piece worth even more money.
But wait there's more. Not only was Semple destroying his own old artwork, he was also encouraging the public to come along and destroy pieces of art that they deemed to be bad. It could be anything, a terrible record, a book, anything. I want to see a whole piece which is hundreds of copies of Twilight all ripped up and created into some form of sculpture. Upon arrival at the gallery with your bad art, you could watch as Semple's gallery minions would destroy your item and reform it into something else. It was all focused around how watching someone destroy a piece of work started to become more interesting than the actual piece of art (or bad art) itself. While it is being destroyed some aspects of it is then crushed into the B.A.P (Bad Art Pigment). This was then accompanied with a room of paintings designed to look more like a traditional exhibition in retrospect.
However 6 days ago, the show itself was targeted by an art protest. For once, it was not Just Stop Oil who are notoriously known for causing havoc in gallery spaces and attempting to ruin paintings worth millions. This unknown group however decided to throw Semple's pinkest pink paint over his own paintings in the space before supergluing themselves to the wall in the gallery space. Semple took to social media to say the fact these people are using his own paint means that this is an attack at him personally.
It seems the protestors took the entire show to a different level of misunderstanding due to the nature of them gluing themselves to the wall and then flip off the CCTV in the gallery space. It seems like a strange unprovoked attack to me especially considering that Semple had invited members of the public into his space to destroy items they deemed not worthy of being art just for new scale anti-art paintings to be destroyed with Semple's own materials. It seems like a lazy waste of money and an odd way to react to a show that is already so controversial. The protesters seemed to treat the show as if destroying these items were criminal and that the activities in the gallery should not be happening. But it is simply just a performance art piece that prides itself and incorporates itself to focus on the general public's view of art.
The girl in the white t-shirt has an all caps slogan reading SAVE ALL ART, but at what cost are they saving the art if they are destroying it all at the same time? Was it simply just a ploy to go against the performative structure of the work?
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this is very out of date as of Oct
I don't want to delete this blog but it needs to get a big change if I keep it.
The original facets who made this blog.. no longer exist. I don't know when it happened but before I realised they weren't there anymore. I felt them back apart of me. And I don't feel like anything of them was kept around.
It was painful and out of no where. I wasn't ready. There are some who used this still around but the main posters are not. I don't really know what to do. It hurts. Healing is one thing but healing alone is painful. I wanted so bad to get past the programming but..
Sorry to not know what to do for now. I'm glad for the friends they made. I hope we can become if we don't know each other or stay friends if we do too.
Until then. - E
☄️ Welcome, have a seat 🚀
welcome to the blog! It stands for sailing across dimensions and is my fandom; primarily shipping; space. I wanted a space where I could feel comfortable posting lower quality art, edits, and goof off with friends and finally decided to make that space for myself.
Always happy to do ask games, answer head canon questions, be told to draw silly doodles of joy, anything of the sort.
enjoy your time here in this shipper's paradise
If there's anything you want me to tag let me know!
☄️ Tags 🚀
#x post dia — posts made in house #x post art — art, edits, and similar made in house #x rb imagine — reblogged shipping images #x rp dia — general roleplaying tag from ask to posts — #x rp [name] — sub tags for each 'muse' played (will update as they come up) #x pal dia — tag for Palworld live blogging and whatever else #x stardew dia — tag for Stardew Valley live blogging #x acetorney dia — live blogging the Ace Attorney games! #x agame dia — ask game responses #tag — text
Sub Personal tags #what a beautiful image set ☺️ — 🧲🩻's aesthetic collection rbs
List of fandoms, ships, fictional others, and anything else important under the drop
☄️ Fandoms 🚀
Batman — The Animated Series & Gotham Knights (VG)
Castlevania — Animation
Lucifer
Constantine
Welcome Home
Nexomon
Ace Attorney
Name — Specifics
this list can fluctuate and will change at random. Anything of active interest should be here but don't fear asking about others. I might not be into it now but I might get into it because of you!
☄️ Ships 🚀
Bruce Wayne x Batman — Batman {Primarily in BTAS & Gotham Knights (VG) }
Bruce Wayne/Batman x Lucifer — Batman {Primarily Gotham Knights (VG) } / Lucifer
Constantine x Lucifer — Constantine / Lucifer
Dream of the Endless x Lucifer — ??? Comics
Dean Winchester x John Constantine — Supernatural / Hellblazer
Trevor Belmont x Dracula — Castlevania { Animation }
Slade Wilson x Nightwing — DC
Raven x Robin — Teen Titans
Name x Name — Source { extra deets }
Not all of my ships but similar to fandoms are the ones of my active interest at the moment. mostly here to help give people something to grab at for games and prompts
☄️ F/Os 🚀
Romantic { 🌌 } Familial — { 🌈 } Platonic — { 🌕 } Adversarial — { 🌩 }
{ 🌌 } Batman — Batman (BTAS & Gotham Knights)
{ 🌌 } Bruce Wayne — Batman (BTAS & Gotham Knights)
{ 🌌 } Trevor Belmont — Castlevania (Animation)
{ 🌌 } Wally Darling — Welcome Home
{ 🌌 } Keisuke Jin — Kamen Rider X
{ 🌌 } Slade Wilson — DC
{ 🌌 } Fenrir — Nexomon
{ 🌌 } Karl Heisenberg — Resident Evil Village
{ 🌌 🌈 } Ishtar — Vampire the Masquerade
{ 🌌 } Alphonse Frankenstein - Victoria's Electric Coffin
{ 🌈 } Lucifer — Lucifer
{ 🌈 } Metta — Nexomon
{ 🌈 } Ziegler — Nexomon
{ 🌕 } Oliver Queen — Arrow
{ 🌕 } Clark Kent — Superman (STAS & Gotham Knights)
{ 🌕 } Zetta — Nexomon
{ 🌩 } Sally Scarlet — Welcome Home
{ x } Name — Source
I don't mind sharing F/Os with others. Sometimes F/Os are actually more of a projection on a specific person I know; for lack of a better way to say it.
☄️ S/Is 🚀
Trainer Ebon — Pokémon — #x si ebon pkm Vampire Ebon — Vampire the Masquerade — #x si ebon vtm Trainer Dominic — Pokémon — #x si dominic pkm Vampire Dominic — Vampire the Masquerade — #x si dominic vtm Name — Source — #tag
☄️ Posters 🚀
• Bruce ━ 🌑💾 ���︎ AKA; Bruce Wayne, Masquerade • Bats ━ ☀️🦇 ↳︎ Batman • Ashley ━ 🍫☕ ↳︎ Ashley Williams, • Ebon ━ ☄️🗡️ ↳︎ Dean Winchester, Samuel • Aizen ━ 🪡🌌 ↳︎ Sōsuke Aizen, ✩︎━✩︎━✩︎━✩︎━✩︎ • Byeong-Ho ━ ☀️🪶 ↳︎ Sun • Name ━ 🧲🩻 ↳︎ Magnetism, Electricity ✩︎━✩︎━✩︎━✩︎━✩︎ • Name ━ ## ↳︎ Full name, other name, kintype names, etc • Name ━ ## ↳︎
MuC|N?#|Ot|Mpf
☄️ Else 🚀
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☄️ Active Ask Games 🚀
Send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss./ Link — Write a Kiss Title w/Link — Code to use in asks to show it's this one
#x post dia#divider by me#still need to fix this up but I think I got enough to use it so there's something
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Jackie Mczyne
since I never made one before cuz im bobo the fool
Name: Jackie Emanual Abdul Mczyne Pronouns: he/him they/them age: 25 forverer but 70 in total (30-7) Nationality: British-Tanzanian Species: Vampire (VTM) Clan: Ventrue Sect: Camarilla Location: Andover (primarily) and Swindon (secondary) Personality: egotistical anarchistic idiot Partner: @misericorsalvator Sire: @keeper-of-lions Notes: This man is a germaphobe and has a bit of OCD. Also can NOT handle physical toutch what so ever. If he was a bird he would be an impundulu
There are no specific rules for interacting with my blog! Just dont be focking racist cuz ill feed your kidneys to the dogs
THINGS ARENT TAGGED SO BE WARNED OF GORE BLOOD AND WHAT HAVE YA NOT you can of course ask me to tag certain things I will appologize because I may very well forget orz plz do remind me.
More rambles under the cut off
You've unlocked the extra rambles! congrats! Im so sorry as this may just be incomprehensible
first of all Hi! Im birdy, 24 years old, a black trans animator from the netherlands. I do da drawing and da makin of da gaymes. I stream on twitch you are always free to reach out to me here in DM's or else on discord The-Nerdy-Birdy#0918 <- JUST BE AWARE I was terrible social anxiety and I may be slow to respond THAT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU Im just silly :3 and have my moments. I promise ya tho I love to talk and ramble.
WITH THAT OUTTA THE WAY MY BOI OH HOW I LOVE HIM SO HE CAN SOMETIMES BE A BIT OF A BITCH AND I AM SORRY. HE CAN BE MEAN. ITS JUST A CHARACTER THOUGH BUT IF I EVER GO TOO FAR LET ME KNOW PLEASE I DONT WANNA HURT NOBODY
anyways, quick summary about jackie.
Jackie went through a lot in his living years! going through the 50s to the 80s as a black man in the uk certainly was something! He used to be a genuine sweet and caring kid and now he still cares but hes very jaded by the world. He used to be part of the british black panther party and he has many opinions bout stuff and politics! but he has quited down quite a bit after his embrace.
he has a bit of a shortfuse cuz folk keep threathening him and hurting him so he is quite defensive. sadly he does not have the brains to see yet that he himself also hurts people and he should be a bit nicer to folk sometimes!
He cares tons about his friends and those who he considers fam. he does not enjoy seeing folk get hurt but.... if push comes to shove he will always choose himself. hes all he has. and all he can rely on and nobody is worth destroying himself over. atleast he'd like to think that. he does however often finds himself choosing his friends over himself and he hates it.
EHHHH FASHION WISE. He basically runs a GIANT company called SALMON which both makes ready to wear as haute couture. he is not the sole designer of it al. but he is most well known. he is a bit of a control freak with his company (not much better outside it either) so he will pick up more work than he should resulting in him always stressing about something.
he has many other companies also and a whole buncha other lore PLEASE ASK ME BOUT ME BOI HE IS ALMOST 10 YEARS OLD AND HE MEANS A LOT TO ME.
EHHH IDK WAT ELSE TO ADD SO U GET SMALL FUN FACTS!
Jackie is terrified of moths his handwriting is actually a perfect typewriter font he is really good at math! unlike me! cant see shit without his glasses was part of the british black panther movement HIS FEEDING RESTRICTION IS FOR ME TO KNOW AND YOU TO FIGURE OUT TEEHEE He wishes to become prince someday fave color is salmon of course.
HAVE SOME MORE ART OF HIM ALSO
HIS COTERIE BTW HOW COULD I FORGET! He is actually from a still active chronicle! though I most things on dash arent like canon lol In order the characters are: Tommy Riley Jackie Ada and Chris. they all hate each other and they has an awful time together :)
#long post#ooc#because i litterally cannot stfu#cuz im silly :3 and I love my boi a lot#IM ALSO SORRY AS I DIDNT SPELL CHECK IT AND I HAVE SCATTERBRAIN SO THIS MAY NOT EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL#I AM LITTERALLY SO SORRY FOR ANYONE WHO DECIDES TO READ THIS
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The last thing we want to do is ask emotional labor if any of you, but damn I kinda just wanna ask something if it ain't too bad.
Now that I'm finally typing this I don't even know how to say it. It's been on my mind for months. Especially after the slime spam started.
The majority of us who are actively, like, wanting to interact with the world happen to have fictional or factual counterparts, so being wildly ourselves is always a awkward challenge in feeling allowed to say the least. I notice it a lot, we want to be able to joke and laugh and be proudly the clusterfuck we are. Make silly profiles, collect identities, and reblog ourselves and likes a lot but there's like this damn wall in the way.
Doesn't seem to mater we know it's a bullshit wall. Past experiences dealing with shit like the Yandere Bitch Club is hard to go back to innocent fun from even after all this time.
We keep making new blogs, we keep trying, but that wall won't go away.
How do your mindsets I guess work to be able to say fuck it and just have a blast and reblog and say each other by your names and not care? I wanna, and I know others do to, just wanna join you all in the fun and maybe become friends one day and just @ each other in things people like and send asks all the lot. It's all we ever wanted to get back to with people.
Yeah sorry. I really hope your jobs and your day goes like super good and you actually have a chill one.
- Hayakawa of DMX
Hey there Hayakawa!
Our general advice in this situation, just speaking from personal experience, is to start smaller and get bigger and bigger interactions as time goes on! I know that sounds cheesy and Raphael is also saying that is cheesy, and I think Deulara is rolling their eyes, etc etc etc. but I don't think they can deny this is what helped us, either, ortherwise I would have gotten a more legitimate interjection by now. c:
So like, for us we started off with maybe reblogging random fanart of ourselves or if not ourselves but a fandom we're in or would like to be in. And then after that would hide stiff in the tags signing our names off. And after that we started signing off on our posts and comments weather we made them ourselves or if we're commenting on someone else's thing. We don't think most of us are quite ready to engage in fandom in the way of writing fic, doing our own fanart, or anything like that and many of us go at paces slower or faster than this too. For example:
I do not believe I have gotten to the point of signing my name off of my own comments for reblogs yet when I see Vanilla (World's End Club) fan art simply because I think it would be too weird for me and because I'm worried about potential anti-endogenics/ableists, for example, but both are technically easily taken care of with a block on the end of just one party.
There's a few of us who sign off with emoji or use emojis when talking or engaging with the online world for their sanity -- we're on laptop at the moment but to vaguely summarize the ones I remember -- (beach), (sailboat), (vampire), (shining star), and (blue circle) all stand for someone who uses the blog or did use the blog regularly in our system.
Someone in our system literally introduced themselves as [REDACTED] or [NAME REDACTED] until further notice. It's quite on the nose but can only be done a few times before it's difficult to track.
We also actively seek out blogs that are friendly to our existence and are loud about it and request content for fandoms we are in, weather we have an Xive or not for that thing, and sometimes we do it on anon and sometimes we do not. We implied this earlier but we also use the block button liberally and generally expect other individuals to do the same instead of throwing a hissyfit in our inbox or messages.
And while not all blogs tag (we do not currently tag, for example, although we do plan to start at some point in time and go through all of our posts accordingly) using the tags and post filers has still helped us a ton. We mirror the tags and post filters so if one does not catch something we wish to avoid, the other will.
And, as an additional tip, this is for desktop/laptop website only but we fell in love with Xkit the moment we started using it, Jade Leech 1.0 had become distressed about a particular post but we loved a specific blog otherwise, and the post in question was not technically "wrong" or "bad" in any way, it was just...dysphoria-inducing because of the headcanon. So we used Xkit to mute/block that post and that post only and now we have a dysphoria-free Jade Leech.
So a lot of it is space curation both mentally and literally, and part of it is just kind of snowballing your way into it, if that makes any sense! I'm hoping this helped and if you need any clarification then we can try our best to help with what we can.
~ Vanilla
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Start of Something New
Hi.
It's December 16th 2024. 3:39 AM. The world seems to be on some sort of cataclysmic downwards spiral, heading to some kind of disaster that will have us remembering these horrible moments we're living atm as the idyllic "before times." So, now seems like the perfect time to start something new, to take steps on my personal journey of growth and healing by putting myself out there. Or rather, further out into the digital world, a world I've been desperately terrified of since forever...in a time of international crises and turmoil — I have excellent timing.
But the "right" time was never going to happen. And as the years have ticked on and I've gotten older and older, I realized the only person that's been holding me back from the things I want in life is me. This is something I’ve been meaning to do for a long time, and I’m finally doing it! Taking this step of creating a dedicated tumblr to share my art, my thoughts, and a piece of myself in this space.
Now, don't go misunderstanding me here, I've been on tumblr for ages. But I've existed mostly as a kind of lurker for way longer than I would care to admit. Rather than, say, being an active participant. I kept meaning to do that and *this* for ages. Sometimes I would get really close but then panic and bail. I struggle a lot with fear around putting myself out there. Well, all the fear really. The fear of being seen, fear of not being seen, fear of making mistakes, and fear of losing control. Fear, fear, fear. Fear has had more control over my life than me for too long now and I'm sick and tired of it. It was unfortunate that I first encountered this site when I did. During the really awful days of tumblr, when it was really really toxic. It really helped the fear have a unbreakable titanium grip on me for decades.
Not that the internet has gotten less toxic since then, if anything it's gotten even more dangerous and hateful. Though the vibe on tumblr does seem to have become a lot more chill since then. I may be wrong about that, but I was here for the fountain chocolate parrot thing, so I'm pretty confident. The main thing that's led to *this* has just been exhaustion. The constant fear takes a toll, and constantly being terrified is fucking exhausting. and seeing how I've nearly died in complete silence a couple times now, I'm at the point now that I'm like, fuck it. If I keep waiting for this supposed "perfect" moment my anxious brain constantly says there is, at this rate, I'll be dead and gone before it ever happens.
So here's to saying fuck it, let's do this!
I intend to keep this blog as a place for me to share my art, thoughts, and writing — personal, fandom-related, my own work, or otherwise. I already have an instagram which I've been posting to every so often. I don't really get a lot of interaction over there. But that was kind of why I started with that account first, I liked that it felt like a literal ghost town. I have no idea what I'm doing in that space, so weirdly, it felt safer than others. But I'm ready to come back to my home turf now.
I hope some of what I do here will resonate with someone out there, but even if nothing I do here reaches anybody, I’ll be proud of myself for trying. For daring to exist.
If you’re reading this, thank you for being here.
Here’s to starting, even when it's scary — hell, even when it's downright terrifying.
To finish this post off, I've included a little doodle I did the day after the election. That was a dark day. But then I crossed paths with a dragonfly. It was a rare encounter so I took notice. I'm not a religious person by any stretch of the imagination, but I do care to notice little things like this, even if the skeptical grouch in my mind wants to huff and wheeze about it.
So, that night, when I was feeling sad and remembered seeing the dragonfly, I looked up what it's been thought to symbolize and needing to create something, anything, as a reminder that this darkness was only temporary, that life was still worth living, I drew this. I didn't have my drawing things or even a blank sheet of paper. Only a pad of lined paper and some crayola markers. Bud I'm so happy I still did. It may not be perfect, or particularly pretty or skilled, but it's mine. And that's all that counts.
#first post#my post#my blog#here's to new beginnings#the start of something new#yes - i am referring to high school musical with that#oh - if only my hater teenage self could see me now#she would be so mortified#i may be cringe but i am free#words to live by#another reference i desperately wanted to make in the body of this post but couldn't bring myself to#is that one with that bill (bad) guy#fuck it we'll do it live#fuuuuuuck#it kept sounding in my ear as i was writing that part#if it sounds like i nearly said that - its cause i did#anyways - so happy to be here#lets do this
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The Big Damn End of the Year Update from us- Five Points Games
This has been a busy year and marks the first time we’re writing one of these a little more than a month in advance rather than flow of consciousness at 4am solely on Discord. Not all of this is A Monster’s Tail related so if you’re just here for that: it’ll be posted up front so you don’t have to skim the rest. If you’re interested in what we’re doing outside A Monster’s Tail, and what we’ve been up to while editing and art has been underway…it’s been a lot! We hope you give it a read.
Before we get into all of that though. Some things of note.
As always, if you want more information, or to contact us, you can do so at our Bluesky, Tumblr, Discord server, or our soon to be launched Patreon which we’ll be discussing here shortly.
You can get to our Bluesky here - we’re climbing to 1k, so lets’ get us the rest of the way- https://bsky.app/profile/fivepointsgames.bsky.social
You can follow us on Tumblr here, we will be doing longer form updates here and linking them elsewhere in the new year - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fivepointsgames
There’s been a lot of highs for us as a company and a lot of lows and difficulty this year personally within the team, and the future’s not looking all that certain on a lot of fronts. You don’t come to us for political hot takes, you come to us for fun games in worlds that aren’t this one. Where everyone is equal, where their expressions of self are protected and valued, and where even if there is danger, it’s resolved through helping one another through the bad times to reach the good. Our commitments as spelled out by our Five Points have not changed. We’ve donated games, and time, to causes that we as a company believe in and that won’t change in the new year either. That isn’t what this post is about but given the state of the world, we felt it was important to say. No one can afford to be apolitical in this climate and while it’s not our primary mission, we hope to not only embody the progressive humanist policies we all hold but to help push those causes in the new year both through backing active donation campaigns and any other way we can as a company.
Following from the above, we’ve said this publicly on Twitter but we’re now making it official every other place we update. We will be suspending all updates on Twitter and will maintain our Twitter as an archive. Originally the plan only extended to not posting art due to AI skimming rule changes on the platform but there’s an old saying around these parts. When you let one Nazi into a bar, it becomes a Nazi bar. We will not be patrons at a Nazi bar.
It’s been an exhausting month, it is going to be an exhausting year, but here we go. This is the End of Year Wrap Up.
Content: The Juicy Stuff and What You Came For
A Monster’s Tail First
It’s been, content wise, a wildly productive year for us. Not all of that content is out and available but you’ll see here that we have a ton of stuff ready to go for 2025.
The kickstarter we ran for A Monster’s Tail got almost 14,000 dollars. We’re cross-posting this on several platforms so if you’re part of those who backed us, thank you so much! It’s our largest kickstarter to date and we’re really proud of what we’ve done, and touched you’ve come along this ride with us. We’ll get this front loaded so if you’re just here for A Monster’s Tail news, you don’t have to scroll to the bottom.
The Beta PDF is out to Backers and we will be working to get the full version out to everyone here in 2025 as well as the physical rewards to those who backed at that tier. We’re aiming for Summer of 2025 for the full release of the PDF and Fall/Winter for the Physical Book. With tariffs and whatnot, we’ll keep you posted on harder dates when we have them.
We have opened a store on DrivethruRPG and with that, we’ve gained access to Print On Demand. It is likely that several of our titles will be available with Print On Demand as early as this time next year, if not earlier for some things like Blasting Off Again. Which is a victory in and of itself. We’ve been hesitant to move into the physical book space because of global shipping prices and now especially with looming tariffs, but now that we’re there we’re hoping to expand.
As we’ve mentioned in other updates, December and January are really busy times for Sam and Kelly IRL, so they’ll be taking those months off to be with family and to relax as best they can in the busy times. Sam’s also recovering from COVID-19 and has been an absolute superstar on the other projects we had slated for the end of the year. Sam willl be working on Backer Trainers in the New Year and helping the Genmon pipeline so that should be moving faster. We will be sending out notices to everyone here soon, if Sam hasn’t already done so by the time this goes out. Kelly is also fairly close to done with Backer Genmon and should be contacting those people soon, if they haven’t already.
On the A Monster’s Tail front writing/non-art wise, Kyle’s been away long enough. Work on the Genmon Mystery Adventure supplement is mostly written and just needs some tweaks. He’s also working on a One Shot rules variant to run at conventions in the New Year, so be on the lookout. We will be sending that to all backers as well when it’s done.
The final bit for A Monster’s Tail has been an ongoing discussion on how we’re going to get the Sage and Lucre Regions finished. We want to deliver those to backers as well, but we sadly didn’t get them funded during the campaign. It’s always been our mission to find ways to get products out without the need to constantly come to Kickstarter and deal with all that stress. Kickstarter and/or Backerkit will likely be part of our business model as long as they’re viable, but we’ve been working to get another source. Kyle will be launching a company Patreon in the New Year in hopes to create a faster pipeline of content to all of you who like our stuff.
What this will look like is still in the works, we’ve talked about it a long time over this year. What we do know is that every month, Kyle will have some content to share that Patrons will get access to. This may be a swath of new Genmon, a look at a product that’s in the works, a chapter of Region lore and NPCs, or any number of other writings like Playbooks. Money earned will then go to art and final production, where all Patrons will get immediate access to the full content without additional need to pay. We’re eying 5 bucks a month flat to start, with no intent on raising that minimum buy in.
We’ve talked a lot about keeping A Monster’s Tail supported post-launch, and this is one of the ways we’ve thought of doing that. The Art
Other Stuff
A Monster’s Tail has been our main push for going on four years now, both in designing, playtesting, and finally getting it published and to print, but we’ve always worked on smaller projects between the bigger stuff. This year has seen both a few of those small projects bear fruit, but also a few larger projects that we’re hoping will turn into bigger things in 2025 and beyond. First, the small things
The Obligatory Fishing Minigame: Sometimes Kyle gets an idea stuck in his head and just has to see it through. This is The Obligatory Fishing Minigame’s origin story, or at least part of it. It’s well known in the Five Points “office’ that Kyle’s got a bugbear with fishing minigames in video games, which is where this satirical game comes from. You can play it solo, with friends, in any game you might want to add a fishing minigame, it’s dependable like that. Sam did an excellent job formatting the document and while it didn’t fit into the two page double spread we were aiming for, that’s not particularly as important in the end. As long as it’s readable and enjoyable, and Sam always knocks it out of the god damned park.
The Road is the Enemy: Made for National Game Design Month, The Road is the Enemy is a PbtA game in our ongoing pivot to statless narrative driven mechanics for rolls that emphasizes the Play to Find Out element of PbtA. Inspired by campfire tales, epics like Beowulf and the Iliad, The Road is the Enemy is about traveling Pilgrims looking to speak to their gods and petition them for aid, with no real likelihood they’ll ever survive. The stories created through play will change as new Pilgrims take to the Road, emulating oral storytelling and the telephone game. The Road is the Enemy also utilizes a Talking Stick mechanic to switch the GM role during play, allowing anyone to take the “Speaker” seat whenever they wish and allowing the previous Speaker a chance to play as a Pilgrim themselves.
This wasn’t actually a game Kyle had planned to make. Kyle kicked the idea around for a year and a half and struggled to find language to do it. Talking with Thomas, our development editor, and fellow mod and friend, Otaara, over at the PbtA Discord (which we highly recommend people joining) Kyle finally grew the legs of it. Otaara was also kind enough to copy edit the document for free, so another big thanks to them. Sam then pushed Kyle to enter National Game Design Month, and so he did. There was a promise to Sam we’d not do any game jams for this year to focus on A Monster’s Tail, but he was gracious enough to encourage Kyle to get involved.
Kyle isn’t entirely sure he’ll get involved next year, but we’ll see where we’re at as a company and where he’s at personally before making any final decisions. It is, after all, a year down the line.
Kyle personally hopes to see The Road is the Enemy get some legs. He’s very proud of it and if it stands on its own two feet there’s talk about taking it to Zinequest on Backerkit next year to get some money to add more art into it and maybe a print version. We’d personally like to see that, as we think the game is really damn solid and isn’t quite like anything on the market currently.
Outlaw Hearts: If there’s one game that’s sort of been a success story this year, outside A Monster’s Tail which as far as we’re concerned was a homerun and did much better than we anticipated considering how much we were asking for it, is Outlaw Hearts.
This is the flagship product in what we are hoping will be the future of our product launches for big projects. The goal has been to put out several playtest PDFS showcasing an idea, and seeing what people are interested in so we can throw our weight behind it. Outlaw Hearts is inspired by our love for an era of manga and anime that seems to have fallen out of favor with the modern state of the subculture. That being the late 90s and early 2000s anime and manga that spearheaded the normalization of manga and anime as a medium in the United States. Things that got popular on Toonami or were bungled by 4Kids dubbing. The biggest inspirations here are One Piece and Outlaw Star, two manga/anime that are dear to Kyle in particular. He never stops talking about One Piece and Oda’s narrative theory.
The playtest document is done but still needs some overview from Thomas and Kyle before it’s ready to be a PDF. Kyle has also spent a good portion working on content outside the scope of the Playtest document. Obviously it all needs actual playtesting, and we plan on doing that in the new year. If you’re interested in taking part in that, we’re looking for people. Sign ups on the Discord as usual. We’re unlikely to make an announcement on Kickstarter but keep an eye out everywhere else you follow us.
As We Cling Together: If there’s anything else that we could call a success story it’s As We Cling Together. It’s been a project on the back burner for a long time, it’s a name we’ve had in the files since The Worst Generation’s Kickstarter wrapped and it’s a concept that’s been in a state of constant revision, reassessment, and deliberation.
Initially conceived as our love letter to fantasy TTRPGs, Kyle’s been hard at work trying to justify why we need to do one in the first place. There’s a ton of fantasy games out there on the market so why another? The reason it’s been so long in the works is because Kyle didn’t want to put out something that was like anything out on the market. If we, he felt, were going to do a fantasy TTRPG it’d have to have its own voice. Kyle thinks he’s found that, and in the limited circles he’s shown it off it’s received a lot of interest both in its mechanics, its setting and lore, and its overall concepts.
As We Cling Together is not a heroic fantasy game, instead it seeks to answer what an Adventurer really is and how they affect the people around them. As We Cling Together is a game of community as much as it is about keeping caravans safe from bandits and dungeon delving. The inspirations are long, but a short list should hopefully convey the feel we’re aiming at.
The Octopath Traveler series,
Dungeon Meshi
Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom
The Tales Of series
Ōsama Ranking
Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End
As of writing this update, the Playtest document is well on its way to being finished and Kyle has a deadline of the 20th of December to get it into a place where it will be ready for the regular work audits he and Thomas do.
Looking Ahead
That’s a lot, and we appreciate you giving us your time reading it. We really meant it when we said it’s been an active year here. We hope the upcoming projects have piqued your interest, and consider that that’s just what we’ve done in 2025. We have lots of plans for 2025, not the least of which is more Masks: A New Generation content that we sadly didn’t have time to get published this year, and what we hope will be the next big tentpole thing we work on. We’re still holding it a little close to our chest outside our Discord but that’s all the more reason to stop on through and spend some time with us there. We can say though without any doubt that it’s going to be a blast. Kyle says that the research alone, and talking to Thomas and Sam, has been nostalgic and exciting.
We also plan on running more games on the Discord, and on the PbtA server, so if you’re interested in taking part in any of our games, come on by.
There’ll be more updates, and more games, and other things coming in 2025.
Thank you for your support, your patience, all the kind words, ratings on our products, reposts, and anything else you’ve done to help get the word out about our company and our games. We talk a lot about how important our community is, and we mean it. Thank you all for believing in our content, and ourselves. 2024 has been a long year and we can feel the weight of it now that it’s almost over more than ever but we are looking to the future and while it’s not as bright as we’d hoped on a lot of metrics, we are fully committed in making it just that bit brighter if we can.
Happy holidays and a happy new year from all of us at Five Points Games.
#five points games#indie ttrpg#pbta#ttrpg design#ttrpg art#a monster's tail#ttrpg dev#fakemon#pokemon art#pokemon#outlaw hearts
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Part III: The Living ❤️
So here I am putting that updated portrait back together.
And this time, I am reconciling with my past.
A lot of it was not my fault.
I was young, naive, and hurting.
I did not know my own strength to make it out alive.
Outer and inner.
The first piece to put the portrait back together is to live Authentically Autistic.
Take the mask off, throw it away from the face of the earth.
Moving to Los Angeles was significant. The breath of a fresh start and second chance awaited my arrival.
In a dream I had, the first happy emotions emerges from the hole in my heart. Joy. Excitement. Love. Acceptance
Then emerged new friends I hadn’t met yet. Some of whom I still care for and they return the same for me.
Best of all, a woman who would one day hopefully love me, not just for the outside looks and desire, but the inner gifts I can bring to a relationship.
I dreamt of happiness, and I fought for it.
I thought I was done fighting for happiness when I graduated high school. I made it out alive.
But as I learned these last few months, the fight’s never over.
Sure, I’m in a much better position now.
Sure, my career life, my romantic life, and my professional life is blossoming, like an endless amount of poppies sprouting in the mountains.
And I’m so thankful for that.
But my personal life is still not 100% back to where it once was yet.
However, it is a work in progress. As I always say, I am under construction.
When I moved to LA, I went to college and earned not one, but two degrees.
Performed my butt off on stage and also had a really active social life.
More social in 4 years than in my entire life, and most importantly, was accepted for being Autistic and different.
But that was only step 1 of finding my happiness again.
Step 2 was finding work and navigating life post school.
Finding my way upon the yellow brick road and being pulled down different paths.
Teaching young kids to find their passions, then working with adults to find their happiness in work, and now, helping neurodiverse adults land their dream careers.
Step 3 was launching this blog.
Beginning to untie my complicated past and pushing it out for the world to read and hear.
Knot after knot after knot, freeing me from years of self-doubt, hurt, sorrow, and isolation.
Talking about topics that I’ve never talked about and yet now mean value more than ever.
And now with Step 4, it’s simple.
Letting life do the driving.
Putting it into 4 wheel drive.
Starting a podcast and inviting others to share their Autistic journeys.
Becoming a supporting cast member on a 3 time Emmy winning Netflix show, which by the way, we have 4 nominations this year.
Rediscovering my passion for performing by joining a neurodiverse performing arts group in Hollywood.
Getting my first place together with the woman I love.
Seeing a therapist every week.
And working on myself to get better and back to the happier self people know me in real life.
I’m continuing to take each day at a time.
Some days are good.
Some days are the opposite.
And some, well, you know it’s in the middle.
But that’s life, and it’s beautiful.
My grandfather once said that life is not always straight. It has it’s zig-zags and its collision courses, but somehow, life always works itself out and keeps pressing on.
That truly is accurate.
I’m ready to heal again.
I’m ready to continue to fight for my deserved happiness again.
And as I finish putting that updated portrait back together, I find the last piece.
The piece that symbolizes the strength and the readiness to wake up and see another day.
The portrait is now back together, and it is Authentically Autistic this time.
It’s good enough for me. 💚
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5 Pro Tips to Supercharge Your Digital Marketing in 2024
Online marketing is how you connect with people using the internet to tell them about your products or services. In 2024, there are some really helpful strategies you can use to make your online marketing even better. Let’s explore five expert tips that can help you stand out and succeed in the digital world, especially if you’re taking the Digital Marketing Course at Web Trainings Academy.
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Share Videos: Videos are a powerful tool for online marketing because they can grab people’s attention and hold it longer than text or images. Plus, they allow you to show off your products or services in action, which can help convince people to buy from you. You don’t need fancy equipment to make videos — even a smartphone camera can produce high-quality videos. Try making short, engaging videos that highlight the benefits of your products or share helpful tips related to your industry.
Think About Voice Search: Voice search is becoming increasingly popular as more people use voice-activated devices like smart speakers and virtual assistants. To ensure that your business shows up in voice search results, you need to optimize your website and content for voice queries. This means using natural language keywords and phrases that people are likely to use when speaking instead of typing. You can also create FAQ pages or blog posts that answer common questions your audience might ask aloud.
Be Ready to Change: Online marketing is always evolving, so it’s important to stay flexible and adapt to new trends and technologies. Keep an eye on what’s happening in your industry and be willing to try new strategies if your current ones aren’t working. This might mean experimenting with different types of content, testing out new advertising platforms, or adjusting your targeting criteria. By staying open to change, you can keep your marketing efforts fresh and effective.
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Hey GB! My name’s Jose Velazquez, kinda active across the various platforms talking about OL:N&F (which I love and can’t wait for even a sliver more of the prologue!)
I’m 28 now and for most of my life I’ve had this desire of becoming a game designer. Unfortunately due to other held jobs and financial situations at the time, I really haven’t been able to make any headway into that role. Now I’m at the cusp of being able to return to school and pursue a game design degree, but I feel that even with that, it would still take years of alternative positions before I could even be an official game designer at some big company.
So I’ve changed focus from going to those crazy big companies and switched to having a heavy desire to be on a team similar to what you have! Something smaller, but everyone focused and with a passion. Games like Dwarf fortress, MUD games and of course Our Life have such complexity and passion and it shows.
So I guess the question is, since I’m ready to really focus and learn what I can, well I feel like I have the desire to create games and experiences but I don’t really know what I should learn. I know you’ve said to keep it slow in your projects, learn over time. But if I wanted to try to make games like OL or even work on the team one day. Do I learn Python and Ren’py, do I have to master art and animation. What kinds of knowledge and skills did you have when it was just yourself starting out. And what kinds of skills would be looked at if you all had an opening in the future!
Sorry for the whole novel here, just passionate about it and wanted to try to say what I mean. If you’ve read it all, thank you! 👍
Hi! I'm happy you've enjoyed OL: N&F. Truthfully, I had no skills when I started making VNs. I just wrote my first story and put it together by following the basic Renpy tutorials that were available. But I didn't need to be hired to do that. I did it on my own in my free time. I still don't have any skills that are exactly marketable. I doubt any game dev company would hire me for a meaningful role on their team so I'm not sure how great my advice would be, aha.
But if you want to make specifically visual novels, yeah, learning Python/Renpy would be good. If you want to make any other kind of game, learning how to work with more mainstream engines would give you a lot more options.
If you like art/animations, you could try to learn that. But you don't have to know every part of a project to be on a team, and you could potentially hire someone to fill in the parts you can't do if you decide to start your own group. Start going for whatever element of games you're the most interested/adept at creating and expand your skills if you feel you can take it on.
For GB Patch, we hire a lot of different people with different talents. Writers, artists, musicians, programmers, VAs, etc. We don't require degrees or even having worked specifically on a game before. As long as the person can show they do what we need done well, we consider them for the position. That's not the same for every indie dev group, though.
You could try searching around online for open positions on game projects and see what requirements they have to get a wider view on what people are looking for.
Good luck! I really hope things go well for you.
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Not sure if this has circulated before, but here’s a link to Henry Jenkin’s reactions to 227, largely as responses to an interview he did with Sanlian Lifeweek magazine (三聯生活周刊), a publication modelled after TIME magazine and published under China Press Publishing group (中國出版集團), the largest and state-owned publisher in China. The magazine asked for Jenkin’s opinions on the fandom-related aspects of 227 back in March, 2020. Henry Jenkins, as many may already know, is among the most renowned scholars of (Western) fan culture ... if not the most renowned.
Personally, I find this article to be quite limited in perspective, because 227 had a significant non-fandom-oriented, sociopolitical component ~ and hence its scope, its chaos, its damage. IMO, 227 stopped being a fan war, stopped being about solos, cpfs, and even Gg the moment AO3 was shut down ~ the powerful Chinese state had intervened, and the incident necessarily became a political incident. That One Fic on AO3, the conflict between solos and cpfs about whether and where That Fic should exist was at most a lighter left at the scene of what would become the blaze; it wasn’t even responsible for igniting the first fire. Most i-turtles (i-fruits?) are probably aware too at this point: if fan wars are sufficient to start 227, then there wouldn’t have been a 227 ~ because 227 would have been every date of the year.
Fan culture is fundamentally transgressive, and what that means can only be defined in the context of the subculture’s “mainstream” sociopolitical and cultural environment. I therefore find the article’s attempt to transplant Western fan culture’s observations / theories / analysis / conclusions to the incident without explicitly comparing, addressing in depth the differences of the pre- and post-transplant environment to be ... prone to rejections (as organs are after transplantations!)—exclusion from being useful or valid. And this article was very short on such comparisons or address. Jenkins being a fandom expert aside (and he was careful about not treading outside his area of expertise), early “antis” of 227 presented themselves as crusaders for the freedom of speech and, by late March when this article was published, the heated debates surrounding the incident on Chinese social media had already led to embarrassment for multiple powerful state publications. It was probably a wise choice to not make another dive into the political aspects of the incident.
Being a new(-ish) turtle who joined the fandom a full half-year after 227, I’ve been backtracking, trying to really understand the incident, which remains very much beyond comprehension in many aspects. The discussions I’ve dug up that have most fascinated me have been those in non-fandom spaces, by non-fandomers / politics enthusiasts who barely knew who Gg was, who didn’t know That One Fic involved more than one idol and had zero knowledge about solos vs cpfs. In these discussions, “antis” are not referred to as “antis” because while the action of the so-called “227 coalition” was to kill Gg’s career, that wasn’t considered its ultimate goal ~ its ultimate goal was to warn whoever tried to clamp down the freedom of expression that their opposition was strong enough, populous to fight back and take away whatever, whoever those who attempted the clamp-down care the most about. In this case, “Gg fans”—I put this in quotes because eventually, no one would know who would lurk behind those pro-Gg Weibo IDs (and the anti-Gg ones as well)—were the perceived enemies of creative freedom. Gg, assumed to be the one, the symbol of what “GG fans” cared about the most, naturally became the target of the coalition.
Gg wasn’t special in that sense ~ and that was perhaps, the saddest thing I found about this incident as a Gg fan (without quotation marks); Gg could be any idol who achieved top fame at the moment, who had enough fans to make the point known. The coalition was therefore not “anti-Gg” in its ideological sense. It was anti the fan circle culture that had cemented Gg’s popularity, that had already been known to deal extremely poorly with dissent—complaints had been abound that c-ent was no longer fun for bystanders because the latter could issue no critique, not even doubt, about an idol without the fear of being reported, torn down by fans. The coalition eventually grew to include anti the many happenings, the many censorships and imprisonments in the past few years that had silenced the creative crowd in China, happenings people dared not speak about beyond a loud grumbling ...
The coalition tried to take down Gg, because they couldn’t take down the force that had shut down AO3, that was truly responsible for the silencing. They played the Hunger Games in the Weibo arena instead of challenging Who The Real Enemy Was, because some might not have given much thought about The Enemy; some might have thought the Enemy too invincible to be worth the effort; some might have got too carried away by their blood thirst, the cruel schadenfreude of shredding a beautiful, successful young man into pieces, and forgot why they were there in the first place ...
And that was only the political side of 227. 227 was also widely suspected to have a commercial component, which added another layer to the symbolism behind Gg the Idol ~ pretty much as soon as 227 happened, netizens investigated, tried to uncover the chain of capital behind Gg. With the scent of money was the memory of filth associated with it, in a country not exactly unknown for its corrupt business practices. Much like in The Book of Exodus in the Bible, the Idol is believed to be forged with gold; it is ungodly, tainted. Whether Gg the Person was identical to Gg the Idol, Gg the Symbol mattered to few. That Gg *was* a person seemed lost to many ...
I’ll have to dive into the non-fandom aspects of 227 with more rigour. As much as I'd love to leave 227 behind, every time I see Gg, I see its legacy on his face, in his smile, and perhaps, I’m not the only one ~ ADLAD cast him as Patient #5 because of 227′s effect on him. Put it another way, 227 is already modifying, writing Gg’s career trajectory ~ a trajectory that is undoubtedly under scrutiny by many who wish to duplicate his success but circumvent his pain. And every time I see a young idol—Gg, Dd, and anyone else—I wonder if the hurt of 227 can happen to them (again) because the crux of the incident has never been resolved; the oppression and silencing have remained strong as ever.
Anyway (sorry for the rant) ... what I found noteworthy about this article was the quotes the magazine highlighted in its published form (in Chinese), which weren’t highlighted by Jenkins on his own website. They reflected what the magazine would like to be the take-home messages of the interview. I’ve listed them below; all of which had Jenkins as the speaker:
[Pie Note: About Real Person Fiction (RPF) in Western fandoms]
“American fans often do have some shared norms about what is and is not appropriate to write, mostly having to do with protecting the privacy of other people in the star’s life. Writing about the star is seen as fair game; writing about their family members is not.”
---
[Pie Note: About GG being “cast” as a transgender woman in The One Fic that started the incident; gender in fandom]
“We write fan fiction as a form of speculation and exploration. For some people, it may be one of the few spaces in the culture where they can express who they are, what they are feeling, what they are desiring. And for others, it is a place of “what if” where they explore in fantasy things they would not necessarily desire in reality.”
---
[Pie Note: Whether GG should be held responsible for his fans’ behaviour]
“Under these circumstances, I would not hold a performer responsible for his fans’ behaviors but the performer is responsible for their own behavior and fans may respond negatively to performers who over-react to the existence of alternative fantasies and insult or hector their audiences.”
---
[Pie Note: About AO3 and why fans were so upset about its closure] “Keep in mind that AO3 is a particular kind of platform. Alongside Wikipedia, AO3 is one of the greatest accomplishments of participatory culture in the digital era.”
---
[Pie Note: About the “problematic” content on AO3]
“Among my findings were that fan fiction sites can be a valuable space for young people to acquire skills (and receive feedback) on their writing from more experienced writers who share these same passions ... That said, while teens have participated in fandom, a large part of those on AO3 are adults, engaging in adult conversations on adult topics.”
---
[Pie Note: About media text in the new media era]
“First, I would stress the proliferation of media texts at the current moment ... We have access to a much broader range of media content than ever before and in this context, fans play a constructive role in curating that content, helping some shows get greater visibility ... Second, these texts have become more malleable”
---
[Pie Note: About idols not producing “good” media texts]
“Rather, the question should be what are fans finding meaningful about these performers and the texts they generate. I start from the premise that human beings do not engage in meaningless activities. I may not immediately recognize why something is meaningful but my job as a scholar is to understand why cultural materials are meaningful to the people who cherish them.”
---
My understanding of this selection of quotes is this: this state publication (as others) was quite ready to forgive Gg, to put this incident behind. It could choose to not publish this interview; it could choose to leave out certain quotes, or not do the highlighting that cast both AO3 and Gg in a positive / innocent light. But it did all these things. This article furthers my impression that the state never intended 227 to blow up the way it did, and that it did—enough for stories about it to be found in non-China websites, and in English—was what I’m still trying to comprehend. 227 was, admittedly, how I was first introduced to Gg beyond Wei Wuxian. And as I got to know Gg, like Gg, my want to understand 227 only becomes stronger, perhaps because only through comprehension I feel I can find peace for the GG fan (again, without quotation marks) in me.
Maybe I should email Dr Jenkins and ask if he’s looking for a PhD candidate. 5 years of research and thinking ... maybe that’s what it’ll take.
I feel I’ve already started anyway.
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UPDATE AND RETURN ====
WELL HELLO TUMBLR! Its been quite a long while since I've been here hasn't it!
Yes I have returned to bring some updates and some cleaning. So if you are interested have a fun read but if not (basically I'm coming back to post again with new material!) Now here we go ♥
Where have you been?
Primarily Insta and Twitter. I started to lose interested in Tumblr for a long while due to lack of activity and an overall loss of interest in my own creations. As some of you may know in 2021 I was one of the co-founders of the Walten Files fanzine "The Fandom Tapes" and it helped me get back into the swing of things. I also felt that I didn't really have pieces to "present" to an audience with being in school and all. I imagine that there has been followers that have only followed me on tumblr and was slowly see myself become a reblog page XD. But things are about to change >:}
So, what's new?
I'm proud of say and announce that...I'M HAVING A COMIC!!! That's right, I know that I've been up and down with projects or long period works (*cough, cough* the beatles fans that are still in the audience, those are not forgotten *cough*). But I can say for certain that on November 5th, 2022 will mark the starting of my webcomic, "Hallow Souls".
What is Hallow Souls?
It's a slice of life turned drama adventure about three unlikely monsters that live together under one roof and progressively learn to respect and confront each others pasts. Follow Whistle the clown, Markus the vampire, and Terra the witch in their adventures through their town of Aspen Harbor and reinventing themselves in their alternate magical world.
It's intended for mature audiences due to sensitive topics as we go along the story.
For years I've been wanting to make a story of my own and that dream will soon come true! It will currently be hosted on the comic site Tapas, But I do intend to start hosting on an official website! Which leads me to...
Mortalilies!! Wait huh?
Mortalilies (mor-ta-lilies) is the future name for my personal website that will act as an umbrella hub for all my projects and act as a digital portfolio.
I've been setting up my socials to be ready for this goal and to get Hallow Souls off the ground.
Is there a way to get updated/support this project?
Yes! For you see on Tuesday, November 1st I will be launching my PATREON! Here I will be posting exclusive updates for Hallow Souls as well as other projects later down the line.
Of course I will still be bringing active updates to my own socials as well as this one ^V^! All comic updates will be posted on this blog.
I also have my new and improved carrd below for all my links and basic info.
That seems to be the biggest things to bring up so far. Now I gotta play catch up so I can get ready for launch. Thank you ever so for reading all the way through!
I hope to use this as revamping for this pillar in my art career. Tumblr was the first online presence that I had so I want to give it another shot and be more active for real this time ♥
Alright folks, you are awesome and till then.
Have a good rest of your morning, afternoon or evening -Tailsy
#tailsylennon#my art#returning to tumblr#long post#hallowsouls#hallowsoulscomic#mortalilies#webcomic
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