#so far one of the guys i’m talking to has a similar sense of humour as mine and we have sort of similar stories of how we ended up

[the-sn0wy-0wl]

.

[cafedanslanuit]

♡   —   pairing: eren x reader

♡   —   tags/warnings: mentions of cheating and alcohol. side aruani and yumihisu. honestly just a feel-good fic, with humour and fluff <3

♡   —   a/n:  honestly, this is the most “romantic comedy” fic i’ve ever written and i love it <3 shout out to @ofoceansandtombstones​ that beta read this one mwah thank u

♡   —   masterlist

There was an ill taste in your mouth that wouldn’t go away, no matter how many drinks you had. And you already had more than a few. From your spot on the table, you could see your friends dancing and having the time of their lives. You really wished you could join them. Nevertheless, you had wasted all your energy forcing a smile and clapping along during the ceremony. Once you had arrived at the hotel reception with the rest of the guests, you had slid a bill to a kind waitress and told her to keep the drinks coming. 

Ymir and Historia were dancing in front of you. Stoic, sour-faced Ymir couldn’t help but smile as her sweet girlfriend twirled and giggled, her cheeks red and eyes just the tiniest bit unfocused. Next to them, Sasha, Jean and Connie were owning the dance floor, moving in sync to the happy music. A grin formed on your face as you saw Connie lifting Sasha up and her almost falling to the floor. Jean was holding his stomach as he laughed loudly.

On a nearby table, Mikasa looked over at them, a small smile on his lips. She was sitting next to her girlfriend, who was holding her hand as they watched their friends dance. You saw her girlfriend leaning over to her and whispering something in her ear, to which she chuckled. It was so strange -and so beautiful- to see Mikasa laugh that it took you aback. And apparently, also the girl she was with, because her lips slightly parted as she watched her in awe.

“How’s the party animal doing?”

You looked up and saw Eren staring down at you with a funny expression. He was wearing black dress pants and a white shirt. The first two buttons were undone, and he was carrying his suit jacket over his shoulder and a beer on his other hand.

“Someone’s gotta keep an eye out for everyone,” you replied with a shrug. Eren scoffed and took the seat next to you on the empty table, leaving his jacket on the nearest chair.

“I mean, I know attending your ex’s wedding isn’t bound to be a good time, but you’d think you would try to put on a happy face.”

You rolled your eyes. “Hey, at least I’m here.”

“After Mikasa tried her best to convince you during a whole week,” he said. You turned your head to Eren, eyes wide open. “What? Of course she told me.”

“That little… That’s it, I’m going to tell her girlfriend about that one time Mikasa got drunk with us,” you muttered angrily, standing up. Eren was quicker and pulled you back to your seat.

“You and Armin broke up a year ago. Why are you so upset he’s moving on?”

Before you could answer, the music stopped and the dance floor erupted in applause. Eren and you watched as Armin and Annie walked in between their guests, greeting everyone as they made their way to the bride and groom table, covered with a pearl cloth and decorated with the finest flowers. Every detail screamed elegance and you knew Armin had been the one to decide most of it. It had his taste written in every napkin and strategically placed flower.

Armin’s smile was almost too big for his face and if you had to guess, those small red marks on the external corner of his eyes meant he had been crying just a few minutes ago. You rolled your eyes. So sentimental. On the other hand, Annie’s smile was far less noticeable, but for someone who always repressed her public displays of emotions as much, that little smile must have felt heavenly to her new husband.

Husband. You took a big gulp of your drink.

“I’m telling you this because I care for you,” Eren said, redirecting your attention to him. “You’re looking like a petty ex.”

“Rather be petty than a cheater,” you shrugged, finishing your drink. You gestured to the waitress and she immediately walked to you, handing you a full glass. Thanking her, you wasted no time in taking a sip.

Eren’s eyebrows were deeply furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Armin never told you why we broke up, right?”

Eren scooted his chair closer to you and you bit back a laugh.

“He said you just weren’t good together,” he said, trying to remember his friend’s words. “And you said something similar when I asked you back then. Where does this ‘cheating’ thing come from?”

You let out a long sigh. “Maybe it wasn’t cheating. Not by definition, at least. But when your boyfriend starts dating someone else a week after you broke up a two-year-long relationship and he gets engaged four months later… you draw your own conclusions,” you explained, taking another sip of your drink and making a grimace. “Fuck, this one’s strong.”

After not getting a response from Eren for a long moment, you finally turned to look for his emerald eyes. You could almost see the numbers flying around his mind, trying to make sense of everything you had just told him. It was endearing.

“Wait, no-- wait,” Eren gestured at you with his hand. He stopped himself again and took a sip of his beer. “The first time Armin told me about Annie was in February. I remember it clearly. We were shopping for Mikasa’s birthday gift and then he went to pick something for Annie. And you guys broke up around Halloween, that’s the time I found you crying-- in Jean's backyard during our costume party.”

“We had a big fight at that party. We hadn’t broken up,” you clarified with a smirk. “He broke up with me after Mikasa’s birthday party. The same party he convinced me not to attend.”

Eren’s face dropped once all the pieces clicked together. He turned his body to look at the bride and groom table, where Armin and Annie were taking a sip of their champagne glasses and talking to each other enthusiastically, while the rest of their guests kept dancing.

“That son of a bitch,” he breathed out. You burst out laughing at his reaction. “No, I mean it! I really thought you had broken up during that Halloween party! You didn’t upload any more photos together, I don’t even remember even seeing you together--”

“I told you, we were fighting and… not in the mood for photos or public dates. Most of those months were spent at his apartment, fighting over really, really stupid things or just not texting each other for days,” you explained. “Honestly, when he broke up with me he made the decision I was too afraid to take. He was right, we weren’t good for each other anymore. But... fuck,” you chuckled icily. “I wish he would have broken up with me before getting with Annie.”

Eren listened in silence, his eyes still on his friend. You gave him time as you kept drinking, your gaze drifting to your friends again. You really wished you could have the energy to join them and forget Armin and Annie. It was true you didn’t love him anymore, yet seeing them together only made you remember how you had been fooled by someone you thought loved you the most.

You had had many dates ever since, but no one ever stuck. It was fun, getting someone’s attention for a couple of weeks, but then you couldn’t help but ghost them, putting up shitty excuses like wanting to focus on yourself and not having enough time to spare with them. You had lost so many amazing opportunities with both boys and girls that a couple of months ago you had decided to stop dating at all. It was lonely for sure, but at least you didn’t find yourself feeling guilty for not being able to open yourself up emotionally for someone else.

“Want to get back at him?”

You turned to Eren so fast you almost hurt your neck.

“What?”

“I have an idea. Just play along,” he explained, standing up.

“Eren, hey, what are you--”

“Everybody! If you could give me a minute please!”

You watched horrified as your friends started turning to you and Eren, confused at the commotion. Eren kept waving his hand, gathering more and more people’s attention, Armin and Annie included. He even gestured to the DJ to lower the music and she complied. In a few seconds, all the guests of the party were looking at you, who was still sitting down with a confused expression, a drink in your hand. Once he deemed enough people were looking at him, you saw him fumbling with his hands nervously.

“Eren,” you called for him again in a whisper, but all he did was take the drink you had in your hands and put it on the table.

“Sorry for interrupting, I know a lot of you were having a lot of fun dancing. But all I’m asking is one minute of your time. I hope that’s okay with you guys,” he grinned back to the bride and groom table, where they were as confused as all the guests around. “I have something really important to say.”

“Eren, no, you can’t tell them about--”

“No, no, give me a moment,” he hushed you again. The DJ walked to both of you and handed an inalambric microphone to Eren.

You didn’t like how devilish his smile turned.

“Great, thanks, this is much better,” he told the DJ, who just kindly smiled at him. “Anyway, I don’t want to take much of the bride and groom’s time, so I’ll try to be concise. The thing is…” he said, turning to face you. “I love you.”

Your mouth flew open as you heard multiple gasps coming from the guests. Yet, you couldn’t bother with looking anywhere but Eren’s eyes. What was he doing? Since when did he have feelings for you? If he wanted to say something, he could have easily said something a few minutes ago, when--

Just play along.

Oh.

Your questioning glare turned into a big smile and you noticed Eren softly nodding at you.

“You already know how much I love you. Honestly, I never get tired of telling you so. And hiding our love from our friends has probably been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Sorry about that, Mikasa,” he said, gesturing to the woman.

You could imagine your friend’s dumbfounded face, but you knew better than to turn and check for yourself. You knew you wouldn’t be able to hold in your laughter.

“So I’m here in front of all our friends and some other guests I don’t know to ask a simple question.”

In a swift movement, Eren got down on one knee. Your hand flew to cover your mouth, trying your best to hide any trace of laughing on your face. The flash of the cameras startled you for a moment, but that only meant Eren’s plan was working. The excited murmurs and squeals only fueled Eren, as he pulled up a ring and showed it to you. You immediately recognized it as one of the rings he had been wearing a few moments ago. 

“Would you marry me?”

A huge, honest grin made its way to your face and you nodded quickly. You grabbed the microphone Eren was holding and spoke right into it.

“Yes, I’ll marry you!”

You hadn’t listened to a crowd erupting in applause and cheers as loud as the guests at Armin’s wedding when Eren slid his ring on your finger. Once again, the flash of the cameras were right into the both of you as you leaped into his arms. He stood up while holding your body close to him, even giving you a small spin and you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

When he finally put you down, the music resumed and all your friends began running to the both of you.

“You’re fucking crazy,” you whispered to Eren, holding his face between your hands. He laughed.

“Kinda ruined the reception, huh?”

“When the fuck did this happen?” Jean inquired as soon as he reached you.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell us?” Sasha whined, with a small pout. “But congratulations!” she quickly followed, hugging you tightly. As you hugged her back, you felt someone taking the hand that was now wearing Eren’s ring.

“This is one of your rings,” she noted, shooting Eren a dirty glance. He lifted his hands in surrender.

“Hey, I didn’t plan this! But I will get her a prettier one soon,” he said, winking at you. You laughed and shook your head.

“Nah, I like this one,” you replied. You shared a knowing grin and soon it was Connie’s turn to hug you.

While you were hugging your friend back, you saw in the corner of your eye Armin getting up from the table and starting to walk to both of you. Your smile immediately vanished from your face and once Eren caught it and followed your eye trail, he understood the reason why. You heard him mutter a curse before he pulled you from Connie’s embrace.

“Well, we’d love to stay, but my fiancée and I want some time alone.”

“C’mon, you haven’t told us yet how you got together!” Sasha complained.

“Next time, we promise,” you hurriedly assured her.

Eren picked his suit jacket from the table and before Armin could reach your group, you quickly walked away, exiting the hotel. Eren whistled to a taxi and you jumped inside, telling the man behind the wheel to drive. Loud laughter filled the vehicle as soon as it began moving.

“How-- how did you even have this idea?” you asked him, holding your stomach as you laughed. “Dude, Armin looked so upset, we totally stole his thunder.”

“That was the plan,” Eren shrugged, a winning smirk on his lips. “Knowing the gang, everybody’s going to be talking about us and the engagement for the rest of the party.”

“Remind me to never have you as an enemy,” you chuckled, leaning back on the car seat. Letting out a long sigh, you took off Eren’s ring and handed it to him.

He shook his head. “Nah, keep it. As a souvenir of today,” he winked.

“Thank you,” you smiled. You put the ring on your thumb this time, since it was too big for your ring finger anyway. “You didn’t have to do this at all, and yet--”

“It’s okay,” he assured you.

“No, really. It’s just-- I’ve been having a tough time since the breakup,” you admitted. “To have you doing this for me means a lot. Makes me feel someone really cares for me. I never said anything to anyone back then because Annie is also a part of the group and I thought…”

Eren leaned his head towards you.

“You thought…?”

“I thought you would pick her too. It’s stupid, I know,” you shrugged, turning your head to Eren. “But Armin had just broken up with me and a week later he was already in public with Annie. Back then, I thought everyone knew we had just broken up and if no one had said anything was because they didn’t care. So I just… stopped hanging out with all of you as much as I did before.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” he muttered.

“You did?”

Eren nodded. “That’s why I asked Mikasa to pressure you into coming to the wedding. I hadn’t seen you in a while.”

“You could have just asked me to hang out, you know,” you teased him. Eren chuckled, pushing some of his loose hairs behind his ear.

“I think we know by now I don’t take the conventional route.”

“Yeah, all of the guests know that too,” you quipped, making both of you laugh.

This time, when the laughter came to an end, you realized how close your faces were. Your noses were almost brushing as you both were lying your heads on the back of the car seat. You looked into Eren’s emerald eyes and noticed he wasn’t looking away from yours either. Was it the alcohol that made his cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink? If it was, then you could say the warmth crawling up your face was its fault too. It had to be the alcohol, or else, you would have to also ponder about the reason your heart was beating out of your chest at having your friend so close to you. He was handsome, he had always been and you knew this. But why were you losing all your composure just now?

A brief look at Eren's lips gave your thoughts away and, in less than two seconds, he was pressing his lips against yours.

For a spur-of-the-moment kiss, as you thought this one was, it was rather soft. Eren kissed you as if he thought you were the most expensive and fragile thing he had ever seen. But of course, this was just a product of the adrenaline and the fact that -as far as you knew- he hadn’t been dating anyone as well, right?

Your small theory crashed and burnt when you felt his hand softly cradling the side of your face. No. This wasn’t an adrenaline kiss, neither one that you gave without a thought. Maybe it had been unprompted and maybe you hadn’t seen it coming, but it sure as hell seemed he did. Eren’s lips gilded against your with ease, revealing a soft tenderness you didn’t know he possessed. You kissed him back, matching his rhythm as you softly pressed your hand against his chest.

Eren pulled away from you softly, and if his longing eyes were any indicator, a bit reluctantly.

“Hi,” he breathed out, making you grin widely.

“Hi,” you replied. You gently caressed his cheek with the knuckles of the hand that was previously resting on his chest. Eren took it and kissed your palm, making your heart flutter.

“Sorry to interrupt kids, but where are we heading?”

The voice of the taxi driver startled you, making you pull away from Eren. He chuckled at your reaction and then looked back at the man.

“Take us to that pizza place near the central park. Gotta have a celebratory dinner with my fiancée,” he said cheekily, taking your hand into his. You squeezed his hand back, his ring digging a little on your skin.

“So young and engaged already? Congrats!” the driver said, turning left and heading towards the direction Eren had given him.

“Thank you!” you smiled brightly at Eren while he took your joint hands to his mouth and placed a kiss on your knuckles.

A part of you knew you weren’t taking that ring off anytime soon.

[s1st3r]

Soo... how would the Bad Batch react to a S/O that has a very snarky/dry sense of humor? Just always cracking jokes and finding humor in everything? (Love ur content btw <3)

Thank you for your request!!! And THANK YOU IM GLAD U LIKEY!!!!

Ok I have seen this but knew it would take me hours to write so I was waiting for the write moment! (get it? write = right? teehee) talk about a terribly dry sense of humour my goodness.

How Would The Bad Batch React to a Snarky/Witty/Dry Sense of Humour Significant Other (s/o)

Factz: Not even kidding, I feel like the boys would kill for a hella sassy partner in crime.

Hunter

Oh my gosh they are literally best friends!!! They speak in a very similar style to each other.

Hunter expects a little bit of snark from Cross, sarcasm from Echo, and quips from Tech, but when his s/o just dishes his dry humour right back at him the first time they meet, he's like "Why was that so... hot???"

So from then on, most of the dialogue exchanged between the two of them are like super sassy comments and witty replies, until it unintentionally gradually morphs into really heavy flirting. They get so into teasing each other, the whole batch can feel the tension in the air.

Of course both are oblivious of this for the longest time.

But when eventually they do figure it out and get together, the whole batch sigh in relief thinking "finally this intense pining is over"... But it actually just gets worse?

So now during missions, the two of you verbally dance around each other like you're in some comeback war.

In the middle of a serious mission:

Hunter: "I need you here now!"

S/O: "wow wow Hunter. babe. cool your jets. i know we haven't really done it in a while but we're in the middle of a mission and-"

Hunter: "As much as I love how you think mesh'la, I think you're misreading the situation."

His s/o also keeps ruining his *tough guy* persona. During briefs, his s/o keeps making him crack his skillfully honed poker face.

The teasing through dry humour is just a really fun and goofy way to connect to each other and is their common ground of affection.

Tech

We all know Tech is a witty boi, and man do we love him for it!

Tech finds his s/o's attitude quite entertaining.

He does like it when they use their snarkiness to defend him from people that give him a hard time, but he like his s/o's humour best when it's just the two of them having fun.

I feel like Tech would find it 10x funnier if his s/o was also really smart and able to understand his technical language, because they just pass these really witty/funny quips back and forth to each other that are actually hilarious but no one understands. It's like their own hidden language.

Now we've seen Tech smile and m a y b e chuckle a little before?? But so far, we've yet to see Tech actually laugh and I headcanon that Tech snorts when he laughs. (Has anybody seen the live action TMNT?? Kinda like how Donnie laughs in those). So ohmiGOSH it's so WhOlEsOmE when his s/o makes Tech laugh!! He's so CUTE!

The rest of the batch will be out getting supplies while Echo works of the exterior hull of the ship and Tech and his s/o fix up the systems inside.

Tech laying under a panel: "Hm, this wire seems to be adhered to a far less efficient arrangement." Tech's s/o wordlessly shuffles over from their panel to analyse the problem. Their shoulders touch as they lie side by side.

S/o: "Mm, I think you're right, but see here? It looks like it's been manually transfigured. Probably by Echo in one of our many quick fixes. It looks like he's done it so he can easily access and program the flight module."

Tech: "I'm going to rewire it to-"

S/o: "To that one right?" His s/o says, suppressing a smile as they point to clearly the wrong wiring. Tech's eyes narrow and his brow furrows.

Tech: "Of course not! That would compromise the-" He catches a glimpse of his s/o's cheeky grin, "oh you're joking." His s/o bursts out laughing and he can't help the smile that stretches over his face as he shakes his head.

By the end of the repairs, the batch come back to find you both practically rolling on the ground in snorting fits of laughter.

Their humour paired with their competence makes them super attractive to him.

Wrecker

Wrecker finds his s/o's dry humour the funniest thing in the galaxy. He is one of those blessings that will always laugh at your jokes.

Which is a relief cuz I have dry humour and almost no one ever laughs at my jokes rip.

I mean, you guys saw how he reacted in ep 1 when Omega DeStRoYeD those regs in the mess hall. He was so proud and supportive of her.

So yeah he's pretty much his s/o's hype man.

He loves that his s/o's humour means that they quite enjoy playful competition and games. So they're always playing random games together, even going so far as to arm wrestle (S/o: "But we both already know who's going to win... Me. Obviously.")

And sometimes he will let his s/o win, just because he thinks it's so cute when they start flexing their arms and boasting about how strong and amazing they are.

He knows they're joking. He knows they know he let them win. But even though they've never really beaten him, he still thinks they're strong and amazing.

There is always friendly banter between the two but what Wrecker loves the most is how easy his s/o makes things for him.

He's not a natural at romance, and often finds himself making mistakes or he might do something a little awkwardly. But instead of being mad, disappointed, or judgmental, his s/o just smiles or laughs it off and walks him through things.

He feels like he can always be himself around his s/o.

Crosshair

Again, it's canon and fanon that Cross is a bit of a grumpy pants so he obviously finds his s/o's wit irritating at first. Which his s/o finds annoying, so his s/o just does it more just to get under his skin.

Totally enemies to lovers trope. I see it no other way. FiGhT me.

His s/o would make jokes all the time but I see that one day, his s/o makes a dry joke and he gives them crap for it, and they've just had enough and so they absolutely *slam* him with snark, sass, and wit that cannot be rivalled by Crosshair himself. They get right up into his face; tension as thick as s o u p.

And then he just grabs their face and makes out with them.

His s/o's like "ok" and totally rolls with it.

The Bad Batch wonder why they don't fight as much anymore (not that they're complaining).

Now they both use their sass to bully the regs.

They kinda become this unbeatable pair of unrivalled attitude. Unlike Hunter and his s/o who use it to tease each other, while Cross and his s/o do that a little too, they mostly direct their humour and sarcasm outward. Cross's s/o is a little more good natured than him though and will pull him in when he goes a bit too far.

He generally finds his s/o's humour quite funny now (though he'll never admit it), and the fact that he smiles a little more doesn't go unnoticed by his brothers.

Echo

Ok while Hunter is master of the dry humour, Echo is KING of sarcasm.

Having said that, I feel like Echo would actually far more appreciate light humour over sass/snark/wit/etc.

I think after being through the crap he's been through, echo baby just needs a light hearted, positive beam of sunshine in his life and his s/o is it.

He loves that his s/o always has a way of making others laugh and smile, even on really hard missions and in rough times.

I think his s/o having a lighter humour also makes him feel safer. Like there's no chance of miscommunication whereby this s/o accidently hits a sensitive topic. His s/o sticks to surface level humour which makes it easy to digest.

They are also absolutely fantastic at telling funny stories which is a real treat when his s/o will retell stories about some of the missions the Bad Batch has done and they just execute the story perfectly.

Echo is in love with his s/o's laugh and thinks it's so cute when they giggle at their own jokes.

He'll never say it, but his s/o's humour sometimes reminds Echo of Fives and Cutup, which is a bit bittersweet for him.

They say that "a joyful heart is good medicine" and for Echo that couldn't be more true. His s/o's joyful heart and nature revive and heal him. He is so much happier because of them and will tell them so in between little kisses as his s/o giggles playfully at his gentle yet eager ministrations.

~ Sister

Tag list: @damerondala @imalovernotahater

@kaorikoizumi @xlittlemissydjx @in-the-crosshairs @dionysuskid21

@littlemisscare-all

[nagito-kissmaeda]

I don't know if I've Talked to you yet? But may i get Nagito with a Talentless! S/o who's a Degradee. So whenever He Gets angry and Talks about her because of her talent. She's attracted to it. But is able to hide it for a while. But one day she slips up ane admit she likes it to hajime and nagito happens to overhear it. (I'd love a Nsfw Fic) if your open.

ミ☆ Thanks for the request! This was very interesting for me to write because i dont usually make Komaeda so.......mean. It does get pretty filthy so i hope that’s okay ahah.  Word Count:  2882

Warnings: Fem reader, no pronouns, explicit sexual content, degradation, possessive behaviour

You’re not sure that Komaeda’s insults are having their desired effect.

Generally, the other students of class 77-B treat you perfectly well, even kindly. You’d braided Sonia’s hair for her once when it was windy and getting in her eyes, after that she seemed to take a liking to you and started inviting you to eat lunch with her in the main course building. At first you were very nervous, shaking as you lurked in the doorway, holding your bento box between your quivering hands. 

But then, “Good afternoon, everyone! I’d like you all to meet my new friend!” Sonia said brightly, and everything sort of fell into place.

Everything except Komaeda. 

Presently, he has you backed up against a wall, one hand pressed up beside your head. He’s quite a bit taller than you, and has to crane his head down when his lip curls up in disgust. You aren’t really sure what his problem is, but he finds a way to antagonise you almost every day. Like he’s trying to convince you to snap. It isn’t working, but it is doing something else.

“How much did your parents pay, huh?” He whispers, voice eerily delicate even as his eyes burn with vitriol, “How much did you sacrifice just so you could pretend to be worth something?”

Your mouth has gone dry. Your eyes flit around his face, trying too hard not to focus on the subtle movement of his lips. 

“Ah, are you too afraid to answer? Afraid of what I might think of you?” 

You are not afraid. 

Komaeda leans in closer, lips curling up in a snarl, “you mustn’t concern yourself with such things.“

You are something far worse than that.

“My opinion of you will remain less than dirt regardless of your answer.” 

You are aroused and a pathetic little moan breaks away from your mouth at the feeling of his breath on your face, at his closeness, and the way he leers down at you like you are nothing more than a nuisance to him. His tongue darts out of his mouth to wet his lower lip and you whine . 

He laughs, mistaking the sound for one of fear, “The only reason I don’t pull you from our classroom and lock the door behind you, is because Sonia seems to enjoy your company. I’m sure her little fancy will not last long.” He smiles, “so make the most of the honour while it lasts.”

Komaeda leans back from you, and it feels like you can finally catch your breath again. Trying your hardest to ignore the way your heart is racing and just how wet your panties are getting. He does not seem to notice, lips curling up in a smirk that makes your breath hitch as he turns on his heel.

He did not notice the effect he was having on you. Far too concerned with trying to get you away from the rest of his ultimate classmates before you have a chance to dirty them with your pathetic presence. After all, even he was above you and that was saying something. Komaeda leaves you quivering in the hallway and heads back through the open door of classroom 77-B, but the sound of running feet brings him pause. He closes the door most of the way, leaving it open enough that he can watch through the gap without you noticing. 

“Hey.” Hinata says breathlessly, coming to a stop where you are still leaning against the wall, “I saw Komaeda bothering you, are you alright?” 

Komaeda scoffs. Hinata is just as much a problem as you are, always hanging around Nanami-san like it’s his given right. 

“Huh?” You say, still noticeably shaking, “oh I’m fine.” 

Komaeda smirks. If asked, he would claim that he only harassed you for the good of his fellow classmates; he would not admit the exhiliarion he feels in the moments when he finally gets to be better than someone. When he has you up against a wall like that, when he talks down to you like that. He feels something in his gut. A twisting that feels almost euphoric. 

Hinata huffs and crosses his arms, “look, that guy's an asshole. I can see you shaking, did he threaten you or something?” 

“No! Not really? I’m just…..uh…..” Komaeda can see you twisting your hands with nerves, his brows draw together in confusion, “I think I…like it…” 

Hinata balks, “wait. What?” He hisses, and Komaeda is thinking something very similar.

“When he’s mean to me like that.” You breathe, chewing on your lower lip, “when he has me up against the wall I...feel...good…” 

“No. Stop. Please.” Hinata exclaims, waving his hands in front of his face, “look, we’ve got to get to class. I don’t want to hear anymore about this. Okay?” 

Komaeda’s breath is caught in his throat as he watches the both of you walking back down the hall. Horrified at the tightness in his crotch. He whirls around and leans back on the wall, cupping a hand over his mouth to hide his heavy breathing. 

Those little noises you were making, the way you were shaking beneath him. 

This had not been his intention. 

Though, he supposes he can entertain the idea. Just to see how you react. It might even be fun. 

*

A few days later, you are back in the mostly vacant classroom with Sonia and Ibuki, the latter is in the middle of painting the nails on your right hand. 

“I know you said you don't really like this colour, but it glows in the dark, so that makes up for it, rigggggght?” Ibuki says; her nailpolish skills are lacking so your fingers are a bit of a mess, but you’re having fun anyway. 

“I think i might scare myself tonight when i turn the lights off and my fingers start glowing.” you laugh, Sonia titters politely behind her hand, but her expression quickly changes. 

“Oh.” She says, looking over your shoulder, “Hello, Nagito.”

You freeze. Throat going dry. You are not prepared for another encounter with Komaeda. 

“Ah, Hello. It’s nice to see the both of you.” He says. It does not escape your notice that he purposefully didn't even acknowledge your presence. 

“Don’t get too close naggy-waggy.” Ibuki replies, tongue sticking out as she starts painting the nails on your other hand, “I must focus on my art!”

A shiver runs up your spine when you feel the warmth of another body behind you. Komaeda leans over your shoulder to look down at your nails as Ibuki paints them, you can feel his breath on the side of your neck, you can smell him. He smells really good, why does he have to smell so good?

“You’ve improved a lot since your last attempt, Mioda-san.” Komaeda says, you can practically feel the words on your skin.

Ibuki laughs, “Kaz was a very good sport when I spilled it all over his arms! Plus! He was glowing for three days straight and i actually think it looked pretty sick!!!” 

“You're very lucky to have someone as wonderful as Mioda-san do your nails.” Komaeda breathes, you turn your head just a little. His face is so close to yours, his lips quirked up in the corners just enough that you know he is mocking you. Then, as he finally begins to stand back up again, he whispers in your ear, “after all, you’re just a pathetic reserve course student, aren't you?”

You feel his lips brush against the shell of your ear, and you swear it can't be intentional, but a shudder runs through you so powerful that you accidentally bump the nailpolish out of Ibuki’s hand. 

You are too busy trying to help her and Sonia clean up the mess, to notice the way Komaeda looks back, hands in his pockets and smirking at how easy it was to rattle you.

Yes, he thinks. This will be fun. 

*

It continues like this for some time. Komaeda is always lingering close to you, whispering in your ear. He’s always loved watching you squirm, but now it feels like he is doing more often, more shamelessly. After weeks of what feels like almost endless torment, something finally snaps. 

You’re dashing down the hall at lunch, it’s a decent walk from the reserve course building to the main course, so you really have to put the leg work in if you want to spend any real time with Sonia before heading back over again. You round a corner and run headlong into Komaeda. The universe has a hilarious sense of humour.

“Ah.” He starts, cocking his hips to the side while staring down at you, “What rotten luck.”

You glare at him, “Rotten luck, indeed.” 

Komaeda laughs, “Is that so? I’m quite sure this is the highlight of your day.” You stiffen as he leans down by your ear, his long fingers coming to rest on your hip, “You do so enjoy it when I mock you, after all.” 

You feel his teeth on the side of your throat, not really biting, but pressing down just enough that you can feel them. You release a shaky moan, digging your nails into your palms.

“Just like a reserve course student to revel in my touch; in whatever form it comes.” His hand grips tighter, you can feel his nails pressing hard against your skin, “I could bite down so hard that you bleed, and you’d still moan, wouldn’t you?” 

You would. Oh god you would. Your legs are shaking, you can feel his warm breath in your ear and you’re becoming painfully aware that this is happening in the hallway. You swallow as your eyes dart open to the supply closet behind Komaeda. He grins saccharinely as he follows your eyes, grabbing you by the hand and tugging you down the hall. Before you have a chance to ask what is going on-

The door to the supply closet clicks shut, and you are suddenly very aware of your situation. It takes you eyes a moment to adjust to the dim light, but when they do, you can see the utter hunger in Komaeda’s eyes. You swallow.

“How...how long have you known?”

“Known what?” He asks, feigning innocence.

You huff, “don’t make me say it!” 

Komeda crosses his arms, “no, I seem to have forgotten. I’ll need you to remind me.” 

You avert your eyes, scowling down at the ground, “how long have you known, that your degradation turns me on?”

He grins, “Almost a month.”

Your head snaps back up in horror, “So you’ve been toying with me on purpose this whole time?” You scoff, “What am I saying, of course you have been.”

“You’re lucky that I pay attention to you at all.” He breathes, and your heart starts racing at the jangle of a belt buckle.

This can’t be happening.

“You should be worshipping me.” Komaeda purrs over the sound of a leather belt being tugged through its loops. Your legs are quivering.The snick of a button coming undone, the sound of a zipper, and the thump of your knees hitting the floor all happen within seconds of each other. 

Komaeda chokes on a laugh. “I thought I would have to ask you to kneel.” He pulls his cock out of his boxers, already half hard as a smirk crawls up the side of his face, “But it seems you already know your place.” 

His cock is very pretty. Pale and slim with a blush red tip that you can't help wanting to suck on. 

“Don’t worry.” Komaeda whispers, “I have very low expectations for someone as talentless as yourself. I’ll be impressed if you even manage to make me come.”

Arousal shudders through you at his words, leaning forward and giving the head of his cock a cursorly lick. His breath catches in his throat. Such a pretty sound, you want to hear it more. One of his hands curls into your hair as you open your mouth wide and take the whole head in, sucking gently before bobbing your mouth halfway down. 

“ Ah! ” Komaeda hisses, hips stuttering deeper into your throat, “What an honour for you... aha ...to have an ultimate’s cock in your mouth, what a privilege .” his words break off into a laugh, wheezy and breathless as you take him all the way down, tears prickling in your eyes as it becomes harder to breathe. His head thumps back against the wall of the closet, cock pumping harder and faster into your open mouth as his nails dig into your scalp. You can feel drool running down your chin and dripping down to the floor, keening and moaning around his cock as you lathe the underside of the head with your tongue. 

“Who...Who knew...that this would be your one use…” Komaeda stammers, hips twitching and rolling into your mouth over and over, “is this your talent? Aha! Is sucking cock your talent?”

You make a noise of affirmation, unable to form words as he keeps relentlessly fucking into you. One of your hands slips up under your skirt and into your panties. It isn't surprising how wet you are, moaning unabashedly as you circle your swollen clit with a finger. 

“Ah... Ah! Look at you!” Komaeda exclaims, voice high and breathy as he tries to hold back another moan, “Being used like this turns you on, doesn't it? I wonder if one of those reserve course boys could do this to you.” he laughs breathlessly, “I wonder if you would let one of those reserve course boys fuck your mouth in the supply closet.” he grins down at you, eyes wild and almost unhinged, “I dont think you would, would you? I think you only want me, isn't that right?”

“Yes…” you manage to slur around him, circling your clit faster and faster, “nghh...only...you”

Your assertion only spurs him on further, hiking on leg up over your shoulder and pressing the heel of shoe hard into the wall behind you, hips stuttering forward with no discernible rhythm. You moan deep in the back of your throat and curl your arm around his thigh, feeling the muscles flex below your fingers as fucks into your mouth with unbridled desparetion. For all his talk, he seems to find your blow job abilities pretty competent.

“Don’t... ahh! ...Don’t stop-“ he groans, teeth gritted together, sweat dripping down his brow, “I...I’m gonna…” 

You’re close too. Your fingers pressing hard on your clit, circling almost brutally as you take his cock further down your throat. You can’t help but peer up at him, lording over just how thoroughly ruined he looks. Usually so neat, so clean. He looks like a perfect mess and it makes you keen around him, hips grinding harder into your own hand as you get closer and closer.

“You’re mine...all mine” Komaeda rasps, twitching and moaning, “Your mouth is mine to fuck...no-no one else can— AHHH!” 

His head collides with the wooden wall so loudly that you’re almost worried it hurts, and then he comes hard down your throat. You aren’t far behind, knees shaking and shuddering under your weight as you come tumbling over the edge, absolutely soiling your panties. There’s a filthy mixture of cum and saliva dripping out from your mouth that you swallow as best you can with Komaeda’s softening cock still in your mouth. The foot he had up against the wall slowly drops, resting gently on your shoulder instead as he catches his breath. You can see his chest rising and falling, his eyes gently closed. He’s cute when he’s not being such an asshole. 

Finally, he pulls his hips back and his cock slips out of your mouth, there isn’t too much of a mess on that front, at least nothing you can’t wipe away with the back of your hand, but your panties are another story. You’re just going to pray that they dry off a little before you have to go back to class.

Komaeda slides his leg from your shoulder and leisurely starts tucking himself back into his pants. You aren’t really sure what you’re supposed to be doing, so you just sit on the floor and wait for him to finish.

He hums, reaching down and tilting your chin up with a finger, “maybe you aren’t entirely pathetic.” he surprises you when he leans down and slots his lips against yours, flicking his tongue into your mouth, “if I’m able to make time in my busy schedule, I could shove my cock somewhere else next time.” 

You moan audibly, nodding your head with probably a little too much gusto.

Komaeda grins, all teeth and gums, and says, “I look forward to it.”

So do you.

[procrastinatorproject]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Trek: Picard Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios Characters: Agnes Jurati, Cristóbal Rios Additional Tags: Meta, Developing Relationship, my take on Agnes and Cris's relationship, and why i think it works, Minor Character Death (Mentioned), Psychological Trauma

Title Inspired by @regionalpancake‘s glorious Downtime Drabble “You’re Light On Me”

A while ago, a friend confessed to me that they didn’t really understand what Agnes Jurati and Cris Rios see in each other. They felt the relationship seemed unmotivated and forced, and they didn’t really see why other people thought it worked.

I’ve seen this sentiment a few times since the show came out, and I’m not here to tell anyone they have to agree with the show-writers’ choices or like a relationship if it doesn’t work for them. But I recently reread the little essay I sent that friend in reply (after making sure they’d want to read it ;9 ), and I really liked it, so I thought I’d share it here.

When people say that the kiss between Agnes Jurati and Cristobal Rios at the end of Star Trek: Picard season 1 blindsided them, I understand where they're coming from. I think the showrunners could have done more to make the developing relationship between these characters truly obvious, but for me, it didn't feel like the mutual attraction between Cris and Agnes came completely out of nowhere. Let me explain.

One of the big things about Rios’s character I find striking is that he wants to be stoic and cynical and misanthropic, but he just... can't do it. He tries! He's short, he hides behind his books, and he pretends he doesn't care about politeness. But the only people he ever swears at are Raffi, a very good friend, and the holos (which are a whole other matter, because there is all this self-loathing tied up in Cris's relationship with them). Over the course of season 1, it's pretty clear that Rios is rather good at reading people, and he wants to do right by them. He defers to Picard pretty much immediately and Soji looks at him pleadingly once and he decides to put his ship at risk for her.

Rios doesn't want to like people, he just can't help himself. He wants to be annoyed by Agnes interrupting his reading, but I think he finds her quirkiness disarming and charming. It's already visible in the way he looks at her on the bridge, when they talk about paper books. And then they go to the holodeck to discuss Picard's detour to Vashti. Since Agnes is the audience stand-in, she asks a bunch of questions, and instead of being annoyed or short, Cris patiently explains everything to her (after offering her a seat). Later, when Cris asks Agnes what she thinks about his outfit for the Stardust City caper and she says he's killing it, there's a beat there. He seems almost a little taken aback, either by her sincerity, or maybe by realizing he values her opinion. It's yet another thing they connect over it. (Also robot boxing. That scene is adorable)

With regards to Agnes… I think partially, she's leaning into her natural humour and quirkiness to appear non-threatening and not give herself away, but I also have another read on her behaviour. (This may partially be me projecting WAY TOO HARD, or, to put it more generously, applying some lived experience to what we see of Agnes's character, so your take on this might be very different. But this is what I see.)

When Agnes and Cris talk before they go off to have sex, Agnes is making jokes and smiling. To me, that doesn’t read as fake or a ploy to manipulate Rios, it seems real. And then when he asks, really asks, how she's feeling, suddenly there is this chasm of pain right under the surface. For me, the idea that Agnes has this intense psychological trauma and is dealing with it by finding joy in little things, like watering the plants, and reading papers, and flirting with the hot captain by completely wrong-footing him with a comment about her dad... it feels very authentic. And I can see how this guy, who pretends to be all uncaring and edgy but is actually a big softie not very far under the surface, and who smiles at her jokes and takes the time to explain stuff to her and listens to her babble, that's a nice distraction from the horrible things happening in her mind. Not in the sense that she's manipulatively using him, but in the sense that this kind of human connection gives her moments of light and gives her reasons to keep going, even through so much pain.

After Agnes kills Maddox, she is deeply, deeply conflicted over what she's done. To the point where when they’re leaving the Artefact, she basically says "I don't care if the world ends if I don't kill Soji. Let it all burn. I just can't do this anymore". And then here is this man, who's kind and caring and, yes, hot, and at first it's "I just want to feel something, anything, and he's here, he's half-naked, he's gorgeous". And Rios isn't necessarily opposed to a no-strings-attached fling. Because he keeps telling himself he doesn't get attached and he hates people and he's only ferrying them around because they're paying him. So it's a distraction with a woman who is quirky and witty and pretty, but it won't mean anything, and that's okay.

And then Agnes changes her mind, because she realizes having sex with Rios will make things more complicated. Or maybe because she thinks Rios deserves better. Or that she shouldn't have sex to distract herself from horrible emotional pain because that's kinda unhealthy.

So she pulls back.

And Rios, instead of being annoyed at missing out or feeling like she led him on, or any number of things, asks her how she's feeling. In a way that makes it clear (at least to me) that he really cares about the answer. And for a moment, Agnes lets him see the true darkness inside her. Because she can pretend it's about Maddox dying, she can pretend it's just about being a lonely nerd. She doesn't have to tell him how bad it really is, but she lets herself feel all of the bad emotions for just a moment.

And then she kisses him again, maybe to shut herself up or to distract herself, or because she needs the connection. And he doesn't have any illusion about what it is they're doing. He knows she's trying to feel better, he essentially tells her he knows it's a way for her to deal with her devastation, and he's okay with it. Maybe because he knows what it's like to feel hollow and terrified and need something, anything to cling to.

And at this point, I think they're both still telling themselves that they don't actually care about each other. Cris because he doesn't want to care about anyone ever again so he won't get hurt. (Which, again, he fails miserably at, but I think that's how he wants to see himself and why he treats his holos with so much disdain that Emil tells Picard "He doesn't get any nicer", even though we see Rios being kind to all the people on board.) And Agnes doesn't really have the brain space to allow herself to fall for anyone. She's just taking little moments of light and human connection where she can get them. And they both decide to have sex as a one-night-stand, just to make Agnes feel better for the night, just because they're both lonely and in pain. No deeper meaning behind it.

And then the whole tracker debacle happens. It takes three days to get to Nepenthe and by the time Agnes goes into a coma, they're still a couple days away at least. She doesn't wake up until Picard is back on board, which means she's out for a long time. Even though we don’t see much of the medical drama, we can assume she was very much at death's door. So, now Rios is faced with once again losing someone he feels somewhat responsible for. Someone he has actually gotten close to. And I think that moment and the fear it causes him might make him start to realize how much he actually cares about her.

And then when Picard and Soji are on board, they all sit down together and figure out the big mystery at the heart of season 1. And here is another thing Cris and Agnes find out they have in common: Both of their lives and minds got destroyed by Oh's machinations. Cris went against everything he believed in when he covered up what Vandermeer had done. He didn't actively kill anyone, but he feels like Vandermeer's death is his fault. His belief in the fundamental goodness of Starfleet was shattered when they threatened to blow up his ship. For Agnes, this kind of shattering of a truth she had clung to comes when she realizes she wasn't acting on the directive of the Head of Starfleet Security in a black-ops mission sanctioned by one of the most important institutions of the Federation. Instead, she was nothing but a pawn, used by Oh for nefarious purposes that had nothing to do with the greater good. The exact circumstances of their traumas are different, but they were both caught up in the same catastrophe and cover-up and it has marked them in similar ways.

I think this is one of the reasons Rios doesn't blame Agnes for killing Maddox. If anything, he gets more protective of her, e.g. by trying to stop Sutra from forcing another mind-meld on Agnes. You can see this in a more subtle scene, too: when Cris says goodbye to Agnes at Coppelius station, he reaches out to touch her face, but then he hesitates and proceeds with extreme gentleness and care. To me, that reads like someone very, very aware of the other person's trauma and possible triggers (forced mind-meld) and caring deeply about making sure she feels safe and has something good to counterbalance the horrible memories.

And finally, we clearly jump quite a bit in time at the very end of season 1. When our motley crew sets out from Coppelius, the Synth Ban has been lifted. Just imagine the bureaucracy that must have taken! That’s not something that can be overturned in a day. Also, Raffi and Seven have had time to connect, so I imagine in that time, Cris and Agnes, too, will have slowly figured out whether they're compatible and whether this relationship is something they might, very carefully and gently, endeavour together.

Because they have a compatible kind of humour, because they understand what it's like to feel deeply broken but to keep going regardless, because she's witty and quirky and he's caring and kind and they went through a very specific hell together, and they might be able to hold each other's hands as they slowly make their ways towards healing.

I’m going to do a metatextual thing here and quote an absolutely gorgeous drabble by @regionalpancake that, to me, encapsulates one very important aspect of the relationship between Cris and Agnes.

     Your Light On Me  

You’d forgotten just how it felt. To feel like you. A stranger, Last seen aboard the Ibn Majid. Proud, red trimmed shoulders, Bright pips, a polished combadge. You signed aboard, And found A different man signed off. You’re old enough to know, She cannot fix you. You wouldn’t want her to. That’s between Pops and you. That’s your work to do, Not hers. But Agnes? Preciosa. Something in her, Shines a light. Reminds you who you are. You have to find, Your own way home. But god, It’s nice, At last, To find, A gentle soul, To hold the lamp.

 Chapter 74 of Downtime

That. Right there. A gentle soul to hold the lamp. I think for me, that's what the relationship between Cris and Agnes boils down to.

They are broken people in a broken world, but by the end of season 1, they have found that they can hold each other while they try to put themselves back together. And what starts out as a fun, distracting flirtation, then turns into "meaningless" sex to stop feeling lonely and sad, finally becomes the beginning of a relationship built on shared trauma, but more importantly on kindness and charm.

I have no idea whether these two can make it work long-term, but I am very much on board for what we've seen so far, and I hope this can help a bit in explaining why.

NB: After I finished writing this a few weeks back, I remembered that there was a fic that came to very similar conclusions. Upon reread, I realized it essentially hits the exact same points I do here and does so absolutely beautifully. So if you want a truly touching in-universe perspective on this relationship, go and read Love Comes Softly by Be_Right_Back (@smhalltheurlsaretaken, or listen to the Podfic recorded by Thimblerig. I cannot recommend this fic highly enough!      

[morwensteelsheen]

farawyn and borodred for the ship ask game thing?

thank you so much!! :)

okay i’ll start with borodred because for some unfathomable reason i actually got there first —

1. What made you ship it?

One of my favourite Types of ships is the Elder Statesmen Of War-type set-ups, where it’s less about people brought together through theatrical romantic gestures and more about the steadiness of people who are going through similar (immensely difficult) circumstances, who know that in their hearts they’re always going to put their duty to that cause first, but still seek out human comfort in other people who will understand what their priorities are and why.

I think there’s also a lot of similarities about the kind of helplessness they both face despite having this tremendous innate strength. Both of them still have to deal with family dynamics that are complex (made more complex by the war) and that can’t be fixed just by their own sheer will power; both of them die these utterly unnecessary deaths (not that death makes a ship but I think in this instance it actually points to the constant tragedy these guys face); and both of them are meant to be the principal figures of their families and people and are ultimately sidelined by the cruel mechanisations of war and the forward march of history or whatever wanky term there is for it — my apologies to ep thompson's ghost, dont haunt me bro.

Plus there’s obviously the interesting thread raised when Faramir starts bitching about Gondor and likens Gondor (and by very explicit extension, Boromir) to Rohan. That always made me go ‘Hmmmmmm, wonder what else Boromir liked about Rohan,’ lmao.

Anyways for me the ship is the equivalent of Star Wars’ Kanan and Hera or (my OTP to end all others) Luke and Wedge, just people getting by on love and duty and without big ol fancy romance.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

The fanon, I think, really makes it, as with so many other LOTR ships. battlefield manners, by themightypen is essentially the definitive take for me on them — these two guys who are just so fucking exhausted, man, but still overcome by defensive love for their families, even if their (foster-)siblings are naïve fools. That I just love, love, love. Plus I think they’re unique for their ability to pretty comfortable explore the relationship between Gondor & Rohan in advance of the Ring War without having to stray too far into AU, which I always appreciate.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really, tbh, except in that I don’t think Boromir is necessarily as laddy as people like to portray him. I’m happy to play into it in, say, my modern AUs because I think that’s a fun and sweet niche for him, but I am a bit 🤪 about Boromir as this kind of reckless, drunken playboy (not least because I think that’s a much funnier niche for Faramir to fill, at least when he’s younger). Chapter Four of Swaddledog’s Hearts and Minds gets my preferred Boromir characterisation absolutely spot on, I think.

And now, sigh, the ultimate OTP, Farawyn —

1. What made you ship it?

For starters, I think I am obsessed with Éowyn in a way I’ve never quite been obsessed with any other fictional character. I came to reading LOTR at this moment in my life where I was intensely frustrated about everything — trapped inside permanently (helplessly!) because of the pandemic, just starting a new political organisation that I truly believed in but that was still making me feel like shit, facing down an untenable about of work, and, fundamentally, really, really hating being a woman and what that means. And along comes Éowyn, who is bitter, who is cold, who is ANGRY, and who doesn’t perform joy or softness or gentleness just because people expect her to. She’s this seminal Woman Of War in so many ways, I think the kind of person a lot of us wish we could be. She’s got her emotional taps cut off at the source, she holds her head high and faces down unimaginable personal and political terrors, and at the end of it all still has this abiding love for her family that, I would argue, is almost unparalleled by anyone else in the book.

After all that, she gets this incredible moment of emotional catharsis (or what we expect to be emotional catharsis): “no living man am I!” She undertakes THE greatest martial act of the Ring War, and in that moment there’s this unbelievably sophisticated dialogue happening about gender (“Éowyn it was, and Dernhelm also”), and leadership (Merry finding his courage not because of the immediate scenario of the Witch-king, but because he’s spurred into it by Éowyn’s presence), and love and care.

And then we learn that no, actually, this glorious act of violence wasn’t the emotional catharsis we thought it would be. She gets to ride to war, she gets to throw herself headlong at death, and in the end that hopeless act of individualism isn’t really what does it for her. She’s still left desolate and despairing, and actually all of her problems haven’t gone away.

And then we need to rewind a bit, because along comes Faramir, who is gentle, and is kind, and does seem to believe in joy, but not because people expect it — actually it's made abundantly clear nobody expects it — but because it’s something quite innate to how he figures the world. And he’s a huge fucking nerd too. I have a lot of thoughts on Faramir’s flaws and why I find them endearing, which I won’t put here, but almost immediately you get this sense of a guy who’s quite melodramatic, good humoured, and very much not made to live in a time of war.

But he’s also clear-headed about war and what it requires (tactically, if not strategically, though that’s a post for another day), but who is kind of cynical and weary of it in his own unique way. And it’s a unique cynicism given his personal circumstances because he’s the second son of The great family of Gondor, he’s apparently — though with some big ol’ question marks hanging about the extent — very able to command some of the elite units in the realm, and what’s more than that, he’s got all these fantastical powers (the light mind reading to start, to say nothing of this apparently magical ability to command animals too. bruh.). By all accounts he should be this brazen hot mess, but he’s not. He’s desperate to claw his way out of this war-torn cage of expectation his people have for how a man should comport himself in time of war. Is it a little naïve? Sure. A little fussy? Absolutely. But does it point to that same desperation that Éowyn has? Yes! But also the practicality, like, neither of them are really enjoying the circumstances they live under, but good fucking god are they both able to Make It Work.

So finally we get to the Houses of Healing and what is the finest and most aggressively romantic writing of LOTR. Seriously, it’s so fucking much. It’s breathtaking. It reminds me quite viscerally of this fabulous quote from Les Mis:

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.

At some point I will devote more time to talking about the two reasons line, and the blissful Queen of Gondor speech, but I think to me that big, important line is: “And then her heart changed, or at least she understood it; and the winter passed, and the sun shone upon her.”

It’s not about Éowyn changing herself entirely (though, I think, it really does bear mentioning that she does change, and that’s every bit as important to understanding that scene as it is romantic), it’s about Éowyn coming to terms with how to live with herself as herself, and how to live in communion with someone else. She can’t just cut people out anymore, and she can’t just treat them as objects of infatuation as she did with Aragorn, she has to reckon with people as they are. And that’s sort of the moment where I knew I was about to plunge fully off the deep end with these two and never know a moments’ peace again, lmao.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Someone on here once called Farawyn a love letter to women and, by god, yes, exactly that. I love the capacity for emotional intimacy, that is beautiful in ways I can’t express. To me, though, my favourite thing is the promise of life they speak of. Not as in oh they shag loads and have babies (though not opposed to that, obviously), but in the sense that unlike Aragorn and Arwen, who are always going to be buried under/burdened with the crushing weight of history and tradition, Éowyn and Faramir are going out yonder those hills and they’re going to do some real cottagecore farming shit. Obviously with all the trappings of rank and nobility and whatnot, but they, unique to anybody else in the books, get to sow this new idea of what life should be. They are, outside of Aragorn, the single most powerful people in Gondor. Éowyn’s got the ear of a king, a steward (which is essentially a prime-ministerial deal here), and functionally her own prince (if the hobbits are to be believed when they refer to it as essentially hers). I suspect that, in life, there were remarkably few arguments she wasn’t winning, and that Ithilien probably trended towards the jumped up noble hippie camp Tolkien so desperately wanted Oxford to be (or, in other words — Cambridge, lol).

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Yeah, man, everybody stop treating Faramir like he’s a big fucking crybaby and Éowyn like she’s some kind of shrieking 2010-era tumblr girl.

One of the single most important lines defining Faramir’s character is when Denethor roasts his ass for always trying to appear noble and lordly, if you ignore every other piece of textual evidence we have about him, what part of that line makes you think Faramir’s some simpering daisy? And why would you want to link tremendous emotional intelligence and care with being too limp-wristed to function, lol??? Like I struggle loads with writing Faramir, because I have never once in my life tried to be noble or self-restrained, so find it hard to get into that mindset, but better, I think, to imagine him too closed off than to do this wilting flower song and dance lmao.

And stop making Éowyn out to be this over-emotional angst machine. She’s got problems, yes, and she’s sure as shit got a lot of angst, but at almost every point in the book where we’re overtly dealing with her emotions, she’s sublimating them into something else. One of the most serious times we see her cry is when she’s fighting with Aragorn about riding out, and after that moment she literally tries to kill herself. Those tears aren’t standard, man, that’s a real watershed (lol) moment for her. You have to read around what the text is saying to get a better feel why everybody’s constantly calling her cold and distant.

[misc-headcanons]

Hello! I’d like to request a bnha matchup (adult characters only please - heroes and villains are both fine), please. I’m a zoology student and I adore animals and nature. I’m quite studious, I’ve been told I’m intelligent, I’m sarcastic, snarky, honest, generous, irritable, and stubborn (especially as far as morals and beliefs go). I’m a big reader and a movie buff too. I’m quite eccentric and quirky, and I’m very nerdy. I adore science fiction, horror (one of my minor goals is to watch/read the most disturbing movies/books ever), and anime/manga. I like sarcastic, witty, dry, dark humour. Thank you very much! I hope this is enough to go on.

I match you with...Aizawa/Eraserhead!

Aizawa seems to attract all sorts of eccentric people, with Mic, Oboro, and Midnight being just three of them. Personally I don't think he views himself as that strange, and most of the time he's the "straight man" of the group that has a bunch of interesting and weird friends. When it comes to you however, he's attracted to your intelligence, your sense of humor (his is pretty similar: witty/dry/dark/sarcastic), and your dedication to studying in your respective field.

One thing he really values in someone is them being passionate about what they do and being hard-working, and he'd want to support you in your goals. Being a teacher and nighttime Hero eats into a lot of his spare time, and even if he doesn't mean to he'll usually nod off during movie nights together; he doesn't find the movies boring or anything--in fact, he actually gets a little disturbed or creeped out by them but doesn't let it show--he's just constantly tired, lol.

He'll bring home sci-fi books he thinks you'd like or remembers you mentioning, and one of the decorations on his desk at work is a sticker on his laptop of the "Don't Panic" sign/logo from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (and...yk, also your profile pic :P). He's in a lot of stressful situations so seeing it on his laptop a) reminds him of you and b) makes him feel a little less stressed.

You'd probably spend time with him and Eri, or maybe keep an eye on her while he's busy working. She loves hearing you talk about animals and Aizawa's heard her accidentally call the two of you by parental names like "Dad" or "Mommy". If you guys live together, he'd want to move your movie collection and more disturbing manga to a higher shelf where she can't reach; can't risk her wanting to watch a movie and suddenly she's watching "Death Bed: The Bed that Eats" or "Caligula", yk?

The one thing that causes problems in the relationship might be your stubbornness. He knows that having a significant other would make you a target if any Villains found out about you, so he'd want to keep you as far away from his Hero work as possible. Like he'll get wary if you go to UA to bring him something he left at home, and he can seem a little too protective of you (especially if you're a civilian without any combat training). But he's aware that stubbornness comes from a good place, so he tries to not let that worry gnaw away at him.

[halsteadshailey]

A little too much fun

——

Upstead, Mancel and Stellaride at Molly’s oneshot

——

Set sometime after last week’s eps (all of them are pre-established)

——

*slight language*

——

can also be read on ao3 and wattpad

——

“Are you coming?” Hailey called up the stairs to Jay who was taking an abnormally long time to grab his shoes.

The couple had moved in together just over a month into dating, anyone on the outside may think that they were moving too fast, but to them, they’d waited long enough. So over the past few weeks Jay had slowly been moving his things into Hailey’s apartment and now that they had finally sold his place, it was official.

“Yeah I’m ready, sorry” Jay replied as he came down the stairs.

“What took you so long?” his partner questioned.

“I couldn’t find my shoes” he said honestly “I guess I’m still getting used to living here”

“We’ll get used to it, I don’t plan on letting you leave anytime soon” Hailey responded with a light chuckle and placed a soft kiss on Jay’s lips.

“Oh, don’t worry, wouldn’t have it any other way” Jay said as he reached for Hailey’s hips to pull her closer and kissed her again.

After a moment they broke apart and Hailey checked her phone for the time.

“Come on, we gotta go, the others are probably already there” she stated as she laced her fingers between Jay’s and pulled them both through the door, locking it behind her.

—

Stella was just waking up from a nap when she got a message from Hailey.

‘Sorry we might be a little late, but we’re on our way, see you in a bit’

“Shit” the firefighter whispered under her breath as she nudged her sleeping boyfriend awake. “Kelly, we gotta get up, we said we’d meet Hailey and the others at Molly’s”

The pair had been on shift the previous day and got home from one of the longest nights of their life that morning. Call after call they couldn’t seem to catch a break so, naturally, when they got home they slept.

Luckily they had both already showered so all they needed to do was get changed and go, they also happened to live a lot closer to the bar than Jay and Hailey did so time was on their side.

Once they were both changed and Stella had put a little bit of make up on they were out the door and on their way, due to the location of their apartment, they would actually be on time.

—

Natalie and Crockett made it to Molly’s first out of the three couples but they weren’t there long before Stella and Kelly showed up, closely followed by Hailey and Jay.

Nat had told Crockett about Hailey’s invitation to meet her and the other first responders at Molly’s last week and at first he was hesitant, simply because he still felt like the new guy but he quickly accepted when Nat talked some sense into him saying something along the lines of ‘Well the best way to change that is to get out and spend time with your friends, otherwise everyone will see you as the new guy forever’. He knows that he’s not technically new anymore anyway, but because of the pandemic it had been hard to be social. This meant he had made few friends outside of the hospital and despite being there a whole year before the pandemic hit, back then he was actually the new guy meaning he was just trying to get settled and wasn’t too focussed on making friends.

The group of six however had grown fairly close after spending a few long nights at Molly’s together. Stella and Hailey had become friends very quickly after Hailey helped the firefighter out when she got a bad feeling on a call and together they found the abducted kids.

This naturally lead Kelly and Jay to spend some time with each other once the detectives’ relationship was out in the open. Natalie and Crockett seemed to fit perfectly into the group, Nat being good friends with the girls already and as for Crockett, he fell into conversation easily with Jay and Kelly, all three guys having a similar sense of humour and a shared love of sports.

This was the first night that they had actually planned that all six of them would spend together and it was an idea that Hailey and Nat had when the police officer brought a victim into Med.

“Hey guys, sorry we’re late” Hailey said as her and Jay made their way to the table where their friends were sitting.

“It’s all good, nice to see you guys” Crockett replied.

Jay smiled and offered to buy the first round.

The six of them sat together at the table for the better part of an hour, sharing stories, laughing, talking about anything but work. It was like a breath of fresh air that none of them knew they needed.

Eventually the guys split off from their partners as the game started and made their way to the bar to watch it on the TV.

The girls remained at the table, looking over at their boyfriends occasionally and not being able to help but smile.

“So how are you and Jay doing?” Stella asked Hailey “ya know, with living together and being out in the open and all”.

Jay and Hailey has revealed their relationship to their colleagues just a few weeks before they started to move Jay’s stuff in. They figured it was time to tell everyone (if they didn’t already know) and they knew there was no way they’d be able to hide it once they lived together anyway.

They went to Voight first, he told them he’d known for a while but as long as it wasn’t affecting how they worked, which it wasn’t, he didn’t plan on saying anything until they did. They signed all the HR forms that they needed to and Voight told them he was glad to see them both happy and that they deserved it after everything. The partners were very relieved and grateful towards their boss and how he reacted to this new level of their relationship.

Like Voight, the rest of the unit were very congratulatory towards the partners when they were told the news, and they all payed up when Kevin reminded them that he had guessed the closest therefore won the bet. The team had had a bet on when the detectives would get together since Jay got kidnapped and shot trying to help Angela, they knew it was only a matter of time until the detectives admitted their feelings that everyone else could see were there but seemingly they had no idea about.

“It’s going great” Hailey responded “living together has been really fun and our relationship has never been a problem at work” she finished with a smile and a quick glance at her boyfriend who was now on the edge of his seat which she assumed had everything to do with the game they were watching.

“How about you? How are you guys doing?” Hailey added referring to the slight mishap that Stella and Kelly had made it through.

“Yeah is that all over now?” the doctor at the table questioned.

“Yeah yeah, we’re doing fine. You know, Kelly’s Kelly and I wouldn’t change him for anyone, but sometimes he can be a real piece of work” Stella said.

“I hear that” Natalie responded receiving a laugh from her friends.

“And what about you Nat? How’s your hot surgeon boyfriend?” Stella asked in a teasing tone with a chuckle.

“Ahh he’s good” she replied with a smile “funniest guy i know” she added receiving an ‘aww’ from both Hailey and Stella.

The three girls carried on chatting, often gazing over at their boyfriends when they celebrated something in the game or when one of them said something causing the other two to laugh loud. All three were beyond happy right where they were in that moment.

About half an hour later the game was over and the guys made their way back over to the table.

“Hey guys, how was the game?” Nat asked no one in particular as her boyfriend took a seat next to her and she leant against his side.

“Great! We won” Kelly said as he placed his hand on Stella’s neck and sat down beside her.

“We could tell” she replied, referring to the loud cheers that came from the bar when the game finished.

Jay took a seat next to Hailey and put his arm over her shoulders with his hand hanging down by her side, the perfect place for her to play with his fingers. This was something she did very often when they were eating or drinking together, whether it was across the table or leant against his side it still sent a spark through his arm to his heart.

As it got later and later the bar started to empty and eventually the group decided to call it a night. They all grabbed their jackets off the back of their chairs and made their way outside once they’d thanked Herrman who had been serving them all night.

Once they were outside they all parted ways. Kelly had his arm around Stella as she was attempting to keep him steady since he’d maybe had one too many to drink. Seeing as she still felt pretty beat from their last shift she, on the other hand, hadn’t had much to drink so was still able to drive.

Differently, neither Natalie or Crockett had held back on the drinking since they were both coming off a week being on call and not being able to drink at all so after Nat and Hailey hugged goodbye, Crockett grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and helped her into the cab he’d called.

Hailey and Jay were also probably ok to drive but decided against it based on the fact that they didn’t actually live that far away and it would definitely be safer to walk.

It was a cold evening so Hailey was hugged closely into Jay’s side as they started walking, one of her hands in her pocket and one around his back, his in a similar way but due to their height difference his non-pocketed hand was over her shoulders not around her back.

—

‘Tonight was really fun, thanks for inviting us all Hailey’ Nat sent to the group chat with Hailey and Stella that they had made one evening for a reason they can’t remember as her and Crockett made it back into her apartment.

“Hey, thanks for making me go tonight, I really do love spending time with the guys” Crockett expressed to his girlfriend as he took his shoes off and hung up their jackets.

“Is it only the guys you wanted to spend time with?” Nat responded in a flirty tone.

Crockett smiled and decided to play along “Yeah, well, there is this one girl that I wanted to see”

“Oh yeah, who would that be?” Nat said as she looped her arms around his shoulders.

“She’s a doctor at Med actually” he continued the joke “brunette, really pretty, funny too” the surgeon continued as he placed his hands on Natalie’s hips.

“Hmm, she sounds great”

“Oh, she is”

And with that, the couple connected lips and he lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Their kiss deepening as they made their way into the bedroom.

—

Stella and Kelly’s arrival to their apartment was a different story. Stella parked her truck outside and they steadily made it up the stairs to their door. Keeping Kelly close to her side, she unlocked it and made her way straight towards their bedroom where she lay her already half-asleep boyfriend down.

She attempted to keep him awake long enough to get him changed but she very quickly gave in to just removing his shoes and his jacket then laying down next to him after getting herself changed and falling asleep too.

—

“Hails?” Jay called from their bed as he heard the shower turn off.

“What’s up?” his girlfriend responded as she walked out of the bathroom towel drying her hair.

“Your phone’s been going off, Nat and Stella saying thanks” he explained, handing her her phone.

“You reading my messages huh?” Hailey prodded playfully as she folded the towel up and put it down, climbing in to bed next to Jay and taking her phone from him.

He couldn’t think of anything witty to say in response so instead he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and pulled her close to him.

On their walk home they had both admitted that they weirdly weren’t that tired so Jay decided to find something for them to watch on TV while she checked her phone as they lay side by side, his arm behind her head and their legs tangled together under the bed sheets.

Hailey let out a quiet laugh as she opened the group chat and saw a picture of Kelly passed out in bed that Stella had sent followed by a message saying, ‘some of us maybe had too much fun’.

Her laugh caused Jay to turn to look at her phone too, the picture making him chuckle. “I’m honestly not sure how Kelly had so much more to drink than me or Crockett” he said, causing Hailey to laugh.

She put down her phone and hugged closer into Jay’s side, placing her head on his chest. He placed a kiss in her hair and they both turned their attention to the TV and fell asleep pretty quickly, clearly a little more tired than they had originally thought.

[possiblyimbiassed]

“E” as in Eurus, Enola and Estate

In June this year the Conan Doyle Estate Ltd filed a lawsuit against an impending Holmes adaptation movie on Netflix (article from RadioTimes here: X). 

Sherlock, Mycroft and Enola, starring Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin and Millie Bobby Brown.

This post about it by @tendergingergirl (X) seems to have gone largely unnoticed, but I think it deserves far more attention. In fact, it got me thinking “What’s all this actually about?” and looking a few things up.

My curiosity about the doings of this Estate began in December last year, before the release of BBC Dracula in January, when an interesting discussion initiated after an excellent meta by @yeah-oh-shit (X), who had made some investigations into previous copyright and public domain issues and lawsuits, which I had never known about before. 

And now it turns out that the Conan Doyle Estate Ltd (from here on I’ll call them ‘ACD Estate’) is suing the film makers, along with Nancy Springer, author of a book series based on characters from the Holmes universe called The Enola Holmes Mysteries (2006-2010), for copyright infringement. 

But I thought most of ACD’s Sherlock Holmes stories are now in public domain, including the Illustrious Client, the Sussex Vampire and the Three Garridebs, whose copyright under US law expired last year (2019)? Well, yes, but that’s still not all of them, and according to ACD Estate “for those of the stories whose copyright terms have ended, this action is brought within the three-year limitations period for infringement.”

More under the cut.

So, the ACD Estate’s copyright, they claim, still includes the following ten stories collected in The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes:

The Creeping Man (1923)

The Illustrious Client (1924) 

The Three Garridebs (1924) 

The Sussex Vampire (1924) 

The Retired Colourman (1926) 

The Lion’s Mane (1926)

The Three Gables (1926) 

The Blanched Soldier (1926) 

Shoscombe Old Place (1927) 

The Veiled Lodger (1927)

The whole lawsuit can be downloaded as a PDF file from this news article (X), and it’s quite an interesting read.

Claims about Sherlock Holmes’ emotions

So, since this is not the first lawsuit from the ACD Estate about adaptations, what’s their beef with the film makers this time? As far as I can see from their claims, this is about Sherlock Holmes’ emotions. 

This is how the ACD Estate reads Holmes’ character development in the lawsuit: “Conan Doyle made the surprising artistic decision to have his most famous character—known around the world as a brain without a heart—develop into a character with a heart. Holmes became warmer. He became capable of friendship. He could express emotion. He began to respect women. His relationship to Watson changed from that of a master and assistant to one of genuine friendship. Watson became more than just a tool for Holmes to use. He became a partner.” 

They even quote the famous passage in The Three Garridebs (3GAR, 1924) where Watson says: “It was worth a wound—it was worth many wounds—to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask.”

But all this progress, they claim, specifically happened within these ten still (allegedly) copyrighted stories, which Conan Doyle wrote after World War One, where he had the traumatic experience of losing both his son and his brother.

They claim that Holmes’ emotional development is still under their copyright (which I believe in practise means their power to decide whether to allow a film adaptation or not) and apart from the emotions issue, they also provide the following other examples of developments that are (supposedly) unique to these ten still copyrighted stories:

Holmes employs a knowledge of medicine in Watson’s absence

Holmes and Watson use modern technologies in detective work for the first time 

Watson marries a second time during his association with Holmes (BLAN)

Holmes changes into someone who has great interest in dogs

Sherlock’s “secret sister”

The Enola Holmes Mysteries got me interested, and now I’ve read the two first of six instalments in total. The series is about Sherlock’s and Mycroft’s younger sister Enola, a clever teenager whom the brothers – in particular Mycroft - want to send away to a boarding school after their mother has disappeared and abandoned her. But Enola hates the idea of being confined to a place where she will be forced to wear a corset and restricted to a certain (‘female’) behaviour at all times. She escapes to London, where she starts a secret private detective career specialising in investigations of missing persons. Enola must keep ahead of her brothers who are determined to capture and force her to conform to Victorian society’s expectations for young women. She skilfully uses different disguises, just like Sherlock, and she meets John Watson pretending to be someone else. With her cleverness she manages to outwit even Sherlock. She is good at drawing and uses her sketches in her work. She manages to communicate with her mother (and eventually also with Sherlock) by using ciphers.

All of this does seem to have certain similarities with how Eurus Holmes is described in S4, doesn’t it?

Eurus is, like Enola, the secret Holmes sister whom we never have heard of before.

In TFP Mycroft claims Eurus’ intellect was superior to both Sherlock’s and his own; she was “incandescent”.

We see little Eurus draw sketches of her family members (not very pleasant sketches when it comes to Sherlock, though).

Mycroft made sure Eurus was sent away to an isolated prison/institution (Sherrinford) at an early age.

Their parents seemed absent and not particularly interested in the whereabouts of their own daughter (they didn’t even know she was alive); they let Mycroft and ‘Uncle Rudy’ take care of things, so one could easily suspect she was abandoned.

Eurus seems to have escaped to London at her own leisure, while Mycroft thought she was incarcerated.

Eurus appears in London under three different disguises: “E” (flirting and texting with John), 

“Faith” (walking the streets of London with Sherlock) 

and John’s new therapist. 

Eurus makes riddles with codes for Sherlock to decipher (“The cipher was the song”).

So, one might wonder if the Eurus plot is – at least to some degree – inspired by Enola Holmes? On the other hand, while Eurus appears cold and calculating, Enola is compassionate and sensitive and makes mistakes because of emotional bias. Enola seems more similar to Eurus’ disguised personas than to the supposedly ‘real’ Eurus - the one who burned the family estate down and killed Victor Trevor. 

I still believe that Eurus only exists inside Sherlock’s head in BBC Sherlock, being a part of himself, but that’s for another discussion.

As for the Holmes siblings, it’s also interesting that on the ACD Estate’s website, where they have a collection of ’facts’ about ACD’s characters, they seem to have included BBC Sherlock’s Eurus as a valid sibling of Sherlock and Mycroft (scroll down to “Holmes facts” on this page: X), even though this character is nowhere to be found in canon. Please correct me if I’m wrong about this, but the only reference I can find to ”the East Wind” in ACD’s stories is in His Last Bow (LAST, 1917), where Holmes says that ”There’s an east wind coming, Watson”, and goes on to talk about a cold, bitter wind that is threatening England; most probably a reference to WWI, which was raging at the time of publication. No one with the name Eurus is ever mentioned, though. If Eurus had already been part of canon, why would Mofftiss have claimed her to be the big ”rug-pull” in TFP?

I haven’t read the final part in the Enola Holmes series (X) yet, where allegedly Enola reconciles with her brothers (Sherlock in particular) and they end up respecting her independence and skills. But according to several reviews Sherlock softens up a bit in the end. In the parts I have read, the two adult brothers appear rather conservative, patronising and sexist towards their younger sister – indeed more condescending than I think Holmes view of women actually is described in ACD’s original stories (allegedly – we never see him treat women badly in practice, do we?). At any rate, I haven’t this far been able to find a single specific plot element from the ten (supposedly) still copyrighted stories in Springer’s work.

In their lawsuit, the ACD Estate claims that “The Springer novels make extensive infringing use of Conan Doyle’s transformation of Holmes from cold and critical to warm, respectful, and kind in his relationships. Springer places Enola Holmes at the center of the novels and has Holmes initially treat her coolly, then change to respond to her with warmth and kindness.”

So what they’re doing here is the same thing they’ve done before (and lost): they’re claiming they still own some intrinsic characteristics of Sherlock Holmes, even though most of the stories are already in public domain. 

Other lawsuits

A similar lawsuit towards Miramax (X) was made in 2015 for the film Mr Holmes, which had Ian McKellen as protagonist. But it ended in settlement before the defendants had responded to the accusations, which were similar to those regarding Enola Holmes about Holmes’ emotional life, but also had to do with the details of Holmes’ life as a retired man.

So, this is not the first time the copyright owners are interfering with content in Holmes adaptations. To complicate things further there seems to be two different estates claiming copyright for Doyle’s work. In 2010 there was some reporting that another estate had threatened Guy Richie’s Sherlock Holmes movies with disapproval after Robert Downey Junior had discussed Holmes possibly being gay on a TV show (X). According to Digital Spy, Andrea Plunket, who then represented the ‘Arthur Conan Doyle Literary Estate’, said: "I hope this is just an example of Mr Downey's black sense of humour. It would be drastic, but I would withdraw permission for more films to be made if they feel that is a theme they wish to bring out in the future. I am not hostile to homosexuals, but I am to anyone who is not true to the spirit of the books."

It’s very unclear which legal rights Andrea Plunket’s family (Andrea apparently died in 2016) actually has to represent ACD’s work, though. Andrea had been married to one of the copyright owners, and her family’s money had paid for the purchase of those rights, but after her divorce Andrea seems to have lost her part in the copyright, according to @mallamun on tumblr: (X). There’s also a lot of interesting things to read about these copyright issues in an article by Mattias Bodström from 2015: (X). However, there’s still a website from ‘Arthur Conan Doyle Literary Estate’ claiming ownership of the stories: X, and they have published a detailed account of their version of the matter (X).

The current case

I have no idea what the court will think about these new accusations against Netflix et al, but to me, if this isn’t farfetched, I don’t know what is. I think a good case could be made for most of these ‘unique’ elements listed above being expressed already before the Case Book. For example, in His Last Bow (LAST, 1917) they use a car, in The Dying Detective (DYIN, 1913) Holmes manages to fool Dr Watson that he’s very sick. When Watson declares his intent to marry for the first time already in The Sign of Four (SIGN, 1890), Holmes resorts to drugs. The dogs are all over the place since day one, and Holmes seems to appreciate them very much, not least Toby in SIGN.

And don’t get me started on the contradictions in Watson’s various discussions of whether Holmes has a heart. Holmes’ actions of helping people often contradicts the image of a cold, emotionless person. The Yellow Face (YELL, 1893) ends with Holmes being deeply repentant for being over-confident in his suspicion of a woman for adultery or maybe worse offences, when she was actually only trying to protect her little daughter from society’s racism.

In the Devil’s Foot (DEVI, 1910) there’s the following conversation (my bolding): “Upon my word, Watson!” said Holmes at last with an unsteady voice, “I owe you both my thanks and an apology. It was an unjustifiable experiment even for one’s self, and doubly so for a friend. I am really very sorry.” “You know,” I answered with some emotion, for I had never seen so much of Holmes’s heart before, “that it is my greatest joy and privilege to help you.”

Why on earth would it be a “surprising artistic decision” from ACD to develop Holmes into a little more caring and openly compassionate person as he grew older? Isn’t that the very classical character development of any literary hero’s journey and also a logical personal development for many people in the real world? It’s called ‘learning’ and ‘maturing’, as far as I know. To claim this is infringement of some unique idea is frankly ridiculous.

In short: They make a very literal, textual interpretation of the Holmes character, cherry-picking the parts that suit their interests, they claim there’s a clear story arc with very separate characteristics before and after WWI, and that they own the end of it. Thus, no adaptation with a progressive story arc regarding Holmes’ character would be permitted without their consent. Since apparently BBC Sherlock have ACD’s Estate’s license for their own franchise, this just makes me wonder how much trouble Mofftiss et al had with including things like Sherlock’s and John’s hug in TLD, or his emotional breakdown with the coffin after Eurus’ experiments on him in TFP.

Possible satirical meaning and small hints

Allow me to speculate a bit about the possible implications of BBC Sherlock in relation to the Estate. In a recent excellent meta by @raggedyblue, the ACD Estate as ‘Doyle’s bank’ is discussed, regarding the significance of the banker Sebastian Wilkes in The Blind Banker (X). Many interesting ideas are presented in this meta, I really recommend a read. This topic also initiated an interesting discussion about Doyle himself mirroring John in this post by @devoursjohnlock​ (X).

In an addition to that meta @shylockgnomes brings up John’s blog post about Tilly Briggs as another possible reference to the Estate (X). I totally agree with this; some time around the release of BBC Dracula this year, and our discussions about legal issues connected to both shows, I stumbled upon this particular ‘aborted’ blog post and came to realise its possible significance. It gave me the idea to change the title of my own blog to “Tilly Briggs Ship with Johnlock on it”, since I suspect that the blog post might be a clue about legal obstacles to a certain relationship. And that title is staying, at least until we know the true story (if ever). 

Canon contains some info about Matilda Briggs is in The Sussex Vampire, one of the late ACD stories that should be in public domain by now, since the copyright supposedly expired in December 2019. But, as shown above, the Estate now claims there’s a three-year lapse when they can still sue for infringement. Here’s the quote from SUSS (my bolding): “Matilda Briggs was not the name of a young woman, Watson,” said Holmes in a reminiscent voice. “It was a ship which is associated with the giant rat of Sumatra, a story for which the world is not yet prepared.” Sumatra, by the way, was Sherlock’s preferred destination in the TST tale of the merchant who met Death in Samarra. In Sherlock’s version, according to Mycroft, the merchant survived and became a pirate... ;-) 

John’s aborted blog post (X) is titled “Tilly Briggs Cruise of Terror”, which just might be yet another little jibe at the Estate. John says that “I had to take this post down for a while as the ship's owners are launching an appeal”. According to Jacob Sowersby (a Sherlock fan on the blog) and Mike Stamford, this was “mind-blowing stuff”:

So I can’t help thinking this sounds like a hint to us about the Estate and a certain ‘ship’ which is still partly in their (legal) power and control. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if the whole show - on the meta level - is partly meant as a satirical commentary on how Holmes’ and Watson’s characters, and therefore also their relationship, have been treated the last 100+ years by their ‘owners’. A treatment where I believe the hetero norm has always ruled, and where Andrea Plunket’s quote above indicates that homophobia regarding Holmes and Watson is still tied to legal obstacles.

Charles Augustus Magnussen also talks about ownership at the beginning of HLV (thanks for the quotes, Ariane DeVere): “Of course it isn’t blackmail. This is... ownership”. And later in the episode: “It’s all about knowledge. Everything is. Knowing is owning”. In fact, quite a bit of emphasis in HLV is put on Magnussen’s ‘ownership’ of characters people: “I’m a businessman, acquiring assets. You happen to be one of them!” Apparently - as this new lawsuit shows - it’s even possible to make money out of Holmes’ emotions.

@catwillowtree also pointed out, in another additional thread to @raggedyblue​’s meta, that Eurus’ burning down Musgrave Hall – the family estate - in TFP also seems like a reference to the ACD Estate. I would add to this, saying that the bomb that didn’t go off in TEH and the “patience grenade” that did go off in TFP might have to do with the same issue. What would happen if the ‘bomb’ of Johnlock would go off before the relevant stories are legally in public domain? Most probably another lawsuit from the Estate, which might become very expensive. 

Come to think of it, in TGG Greg Lestrade mentions an estate agent, when Sherlock receives a text message and a phone call on the pink phone from Moriarty: “What the hell are we supposed to make of that? An estate agent’s photo and the bloody Greenwich pips!” Well, if the Estate agent is somehow connected to the five pips, that fandom theory of the pips representing five series in the show comes to mind... For every pip in TGG there’s a victim covered in explosives; a huge bomb threatening to go off. (The third bomb did go off in TGG, but in S3 Sherlock found the ‘off-switch’ in time). If the fifth bomb is to explode in S5, I bet it won’t be until the relevant stories are safely in public domain. 2023?

More wild speculation while I’m at it: Maybe Sherlock and Ajay’s smashing of Thatcher busts in TST also ties in metaphorically to the same topic? The Thatcher era was not easy for LGBTQ people. There are several owners in TST whose Thatcher busts need to be smashed in order for Ajay’s lost memory stick to be recovered. AGRA is referred to as Ajay’s and Mary’s “family”. The memory stick contains personal information, ‘who you really are’. Could be read as if the info of who Sherlock Holmes really is can only be released once certain obstacles are overcome...

In another interesting meta from last year by @yeah-oh-shit​ (X), they mention the secret underground station at Sumatra road in TEH, where Howard Shilcott tells Sherlock and John that “They built the platforms, even the staircases, but it all got tied up in legal disputes, so they never built the station on the surface.” So maybe S5 is basically already written? It would make sense to me if the long hiatus we’re facing right now has a far more logical reason than the excuses Mofftiss have presented in interviews - the risk of legal disputes with the copyright owners.  

Tagging some more people who might be interested: @gosherlocked​ @ebaeschnbliah​ @sarahthecoat​ @sagestreet​ @thepersianslipper​

ETA: I have corrected some details about the copyright owners in this post; thanks @devoursjohnlock​ for pointing them out!

[bitchoftheclouds]

Songs that make me think of a relationship with the Obey Me! brothers (Part 1)

Hey guys! So these are just songs that make me imagine a relationship with each of the brothers. I came up with this concept AGES ago but I finally started working on it. I give like detailed lyric by lyric explanation of why I think so with specific lyrics from the songs. Written from a gn!reader perspective, even if the songs reference a specific gender. Hope you guys like it ♥ 

DISCLAIMER: this only includes SATAN, ASMO, LUCIFER AND MAMMON. Beel, Belphie and Levi I am still working on, so I will make a PART 2 some time later and add them too! I was really excited to post it so I figured I would just share the ones I have already finished so far :)

Songs/descriptions after the cut!

Satan: Take Me to Church by Hozier

This song just instantly struck me as a Satan/MC song when I was listening to it. It just sorta seems to me to be from Satan’s POV. It’s how he views MC as this beautiful person who’s charming, funny and all around heavenly to him. 

my lover’s got humour she’s the giggle at a funeral

This just refers to how Satan feels like MC has a way to make everything around them lively and to make him smile/laugh. There’s not much that can break through Satan’s shell or spark his interest. But when MC is around him, he feels like he can breathe, he can laugh.

knows everybody’s disapproval should have worshipped her sooner

This line to me seems like Satan sees himself as a monster but MC doesn’t see/care about any of that. MC doesn’t care what anyone thinks of their relationship. They don’t care about anyone’s whispering or judgement/disapproval. He says he should have “worshipped her sooner” because he feels as though it took him too long to appreciate MC. He saw all his brothers slowly falling for them but until MC worked to fight for his relationship with Lucifer, he never truly saw their spark. And now that he sees it, he wishes he had noticed them earlier.

if the heavens ever did speak she’s the last true mouth piece

Satan is a demon. He is wrath. He was literally born out of Lucifer’s anger. He does not understand the concept of Heaven. He knows it exists physically (his brothers were angels, and the Celestial Realm exists.) He was never an angel the way his brothers were. All he knows is his anger. But MC makes him have faith in Heaven. He believes a creature as beautiful as them, who is as selfless as them, and says the things that they do would surely be created by the Heavens. He sees her as the only true representation of Heaven and all that is pure to him.

the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you

This is sort of similar to the paragraph above. It’s just Satan talking about how he feels at peace when he is with MC. When he is alone with them, he feels like the weight of his wrath is lifted off his shoulders. He feels free. He doesn’t have to hide himself behind a mask. He can be himself when he is with her, without having to pretend as he does for the rest of the world.

take me to church i’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies

This is just his promise that he will worship MC to their entirety. He will love them, their body, their soul. 

i’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife

As I said before, he views himself as a monster. But with MC he feels like he can be open, be honest. He doesn’t have to hide the side of himself that scares him. He can tell MC his “sins”. He knows he can trust her with his heart, his truth.

offer me that deathless death

Satan views love as a “deathless death”. Because he views his love for MC as so strong it’s like a kind of death of his old self. He does not physically “die” but his love for MC is so strong that it’s killed him (in a beautiful way, not a harmful way.) 

good god, let me give you my life

he wants to give MC everything, his whole life, his existence. everything.

Asmo: I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys

@amsodeus @ireallyreallyloveasmo @asmodeusbby i hope my fellow asmo fans approve of this ♥

I just love this song for Asmo/MC. It seems to me from Asmo’s POV. He does not completely understand the concept of “love” that is so strong for another person. All he knows is that he wants to be MC’s, he wants to belong to them. He wants to be the only one who is MC’s.

i wanna be your Ford Cortina i will never rust

Here Asmo is trying to say that his love for them is everlasting. It could also be a reference to his beauty, cause it is Asmo. He wants to offer MC everything they could want in a partner. An endless, unconditional love. Asmo is scared, insecure about confessing his love to MC because he has never loved someone like this and is scared of being rejected. He tries to tell them “he will never rust”. He wants them to know that his beauty won’t ever fade. He is scared to be rejected so tries to use his beauty as another reason why MC should accept him, if his love is not enough. :(

if you like your coffee hot let me be your coffee pot

He wants to offer MC everything he has. It’s a metaphor, kinda like saying: “if MC likes coffee, I won’t just offer them a cup, but the whole ass pot”. He wants them to know he is willing to give his whole self to them. 

you call the shots, babe i just wanna be yours

He doesn’t mind having MC in charge. He is almost clueless with this kind of love. He wants MC to lead him, to teach him that he can be loved and how he can love them. He just wants to be theirs. Maybe in a NSFW sense it can also be like Asmo offering himself as a submissive. To serve MC in the bedroom. For them to call the shots, and him to give them anything they please.

secrets I have held in my heart are harder to hide than I thought maybe I just wanna be yours

Asmo’s insecurities are his secret. He always tries to act as though he loves himself and that everything is simply perfect in his life. But this is untrue. He always felt empty. Until he met MC. They changed something in him, in his heart. He has spent so long hiding how he feels, and MC sees right through him. Another reason he loves MC, cause they can always see through his walls. And LORD this man has built hella walls around his heart. HE JUST WANTS TO BE THEIRS. He doesn’t want to share with anyone else, including his brothers. He wants to be MC’s one and only.

i wanna be your setting lotion (wanna be) hold your hair in deep devotion (how deep?) at least as deep as the Pacific Ocean i wanna be yours

As I mentioned earlier, Asmo wants to offer his entire being to MC. Again emphasizing the point: he wants to be MC’s, he wants to belong to them. He will love them and attend to their needs with devotion as deep as the Pacific Ocean. His past as a player is irrelevant to him now. He wants to devote his entire life to MC and only MC. And he wants MC to feel the same for him as he does for them.

Lucifer: Halo by Beyoncé

I definitely see this mostly from Lucifer’s POV. It just seems to work so well for me. It’s Lucifer giving into his feelings for MC. His shell is being broken and no matter how hard he tries to write it off, he can’t anymore. He loves MC and they have touched a part of him that no one ever has before.

remember those walls I built? well, baby, they're tumblin' down and they didn't even put up a fight they didn't even make a sound

He has had walls built around his heart ever since the fall and losing Lillith. He is scared to open up his heart again. He is scared to feel that kind of a loss again. He fears that if he tries to love again, it will destroy him, so he deflects. He avoids his feelings. But ever since MC entered his life, they are beginning to break down. Slowly but surely. He didn’t even notice it at first. It was so sudden. MC caught him off guard. He would have never imagined the exchange student from the human world would even matter to him, let alone have this kind of an effect on him. The walls around his heart have stopped fighting. They are breaking down because MC is breaking through them with their love.

i found a way to let you in but I never really had a doubt standin' in the light of your halo i got my angel now

At first he was skeptical, afraid, un-trusting. But with time, he began to give into his feelings. MC switched something on in him that hadn’t been on in a long time. They made him desire to feel something again. To love. To be loved. He devoted his whole life to Diavolo so he could avoid his emotions and only care to serve him. But suddenly that wasn’t the only thing that mattered anymore. He doesn’t even feel surprised. A part of him saw this coming, even though it did catch him by surprise at the start. Something about MC always struck him as different. He sees them as his angel. Their light shines on him and forces him to open up. To be true to them and to himself. He is done hiding. He has MC now and all his worries seem to melt away.

it's like I've been awakened every rule I had you breakin' it's the risk that I'm takin' i ain't never gonna shut you out

Like I said before, MC brought back a part of him that had been gone for so long. That part has been “awakened” within him. He created a set of rules for himself so he can prevent getting hurt in love again. But ever since MC arrived, he feels himself breaking all those rules. For them. He is letting MC in. He can’t fight their influence. He knows it’s a risk but he no longer cares. All he can feel is his love for MC. He will no longer shut them out. He knows his heart is safe with them. He knows they love him the way that they love him. He no longer is afraid of them breaking his walls. If anything, he welcomes it now. He feels safe with them emotionally. Something he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

everywhere I'm lookin' now i'm surrounded by your embrace baby, I can see your halo you know you're my savin' grace

Everywhere he turns, he feels MC’s love. They have become his whole life. His reason to wake up in the morning. Their love keeps him going. He is surrounded by their essence. Their body, their soul, they whole being, it’s all that matters to him, all he ever sees. They are all he sees in a crowded room. He can see their “halo”. Their light, their positive influence on him, and even on his brothers. On his family. They are his “saving grace”. Saving him from himself. From his own fears. His own insecurities. Saving him from a life without love.

you're everything I need and more it's written all over your face baby, I can feel your halo pray it won't fade away

MC is all he needs. Even more. MC is his love, his life, his breath. He can see it on their face. They feel it too. Their love is pure, unconditional. They’re both hopelessly devoted to one another. They have opened their hearts to one another. He can feel their love, their influence. And for the first time since he fell, he feels himself praying. Praying that this never goes away. That he never loses MC. He wants this to last forever. It’s all he’s ever wanted.

Mammon: Unconditionally by Katy Perry

This song worked so well for Mammon/MC according to me cause it’s all about accepting someone completely, flaws and all, because that’s just how much you love them.

all your insecurities all the dirty laundry never made me blink one time

I love this part for them specifically. Cause as we know Mammon is a really insecure dude even though he tries to hide it. His brothers always go at him and he’s always worried MC will leave him for one of his brothers, always saying that he’s her “first” and she should come to him before anyone else. And like the “dirty laundry” part is that, sometimes Mammon does questionable things like stealing his brother’s things to sell them off for money but MC doesn’t care. MC knows that’s who Mammon is and they love Mammon as he is. 

so come just as you are to me don't need apologies know that you are worthy 

MC does not want Mammon to hide behind his mask. He tries to act as though he does not care and is unaffected by all these strong feelings. MC wants him to come to them “just as he is”. MC wants to see the real Mammon. They want him to feel like he can be himself with them. MC does not want him to apologize for who he is. MC just wants him to know that they love him for who he is. MC wants them to know that he IS worthy. No matter what his brothers, or anyone else says. MC knows Mammon puts on a strong face but he is truly hurt by what his brothers say, and he might feel “worthless” or like he is “scum”. MC wants him to know this is bullshit. HE IS WORTHY.

acceptance is they key to be to be truly free will you do the same for me?

MC completely embraces Mammon as he is, and accepts him. Being in love with Mammon makes MC feel free. The last line could be MC asking if Mammon would do the same for them. Love them unconditionally the way that they love him. Mammon of course would love them unconditionally. He always has. MC is everything to him and he accepts all their quirks, and actually loves all of them. 

and there is no fear now let go and just be free cause i will love you unconditionally

These lines just appear to me to come from MC’s POV to Mammon. They tell him not to be afraid. There is no reason to be. They will never leave Mammon. They will always choose him. They will love him unconditionally. He does not have to constantly remind them that he is their first. Because they already know this. It is ingrained in their heart. Mammon IS their first. And that will never change. Mammon does not have to be afraid that anything between them will change. 

[detectivecarlosreyes]

In Case of Emergency (Ch 6/10)

Ao3 | 2.3/11.3k | Eventual Buddie | Status: Incomplete

Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 6:  late night texts can change everything Buck leaves Bobby and Athena's and comes up with a plan to get his job back, things change however when he gets a text from Eddie. Plot deviation from the lawsuit arc and set in 3x04: triggers //  some more follow through of the tsunami arc

Buck never thought he could feel so betrayed as he did after leaving dinner at Athena and Bobby’s. It was almost unfathomable to think that Bobby, the man who had taken time out of his free days to take him to rehab, was the same man who didn’t believe in him, didn’t believe he was ready.

He had survived a god-damn tsunami on blood thinners without any major injures and managed to rescue multiple people in the process for goodness sake. How could he not be ready after all that? And yet Bobby had just let him believe that it was the department that was keeping him from what he was meant to be doing. He just couldn’t believe it.

So, he drove around aimlessly after leaving dinner, deciding it best to remove himself from the situation to avoid saying something he would be unable to take back. His phone rang a few times intermittently, but he ignored it, assuming that it was Bobby or Athena asking him to hear them out.

He continued to stew instead as he traversed the roads, not yet ready to talk it out or let go of the hurt and frustration over Bobby’s revelation. He glanced briefly in the direction of his phone as it rang a fifth time, seeing Eddie’s name momentarily before the screen blacked out again. As he brought his gaze back to the road the glossy card of the ambulance chaser, Chase Mackey caught his eye sitting in the cup holder, reflecting yellow from the street lights.

Pulling into the curb of a random side street, he picked up the card, contemplative as he considered the words of the lawyer from earlier that day, thinking that maybe the man had the right idea after all, and, spurred on by the sense of injustice, resolved to visit the office in the morning.

It was as he set the card down that his phone lit up again, this time with a text highlighting the fact that he’d missed 2 calls from Bobby, 1 from Athena, and the two most recent ones being from Eddie, with the text appearing only minutes since his last call, stating something that made his heart squeeze knowing exactly what Eddie was referring.

Chris needs to see you. He had a bad one.

He knew exactly where he needed to be, anything else that was on his mind simply became unimportant.

** ** ** ** ** ** **

Eddie had thought that Christopher’s nightmares were getting better, slowly becoming few and far between as the weeks stretched on, putting time between Chris and the tsunami that plagued his dreams, causing him to cry out in terror over the memories that Eddie could only imagine.

It had been almost a week since his last one, lulling them both into a false sense of security of being able to sleep through the night. But the mind, especially one so young exposed to any kind of traumatic event, is never quite so predictable and thus woke the Diaz household when they least expected it.

It was in Christopher’s bed that he sat, squeezed onto the small bedframe with his son clinging to his shirt, tearfully asking for Buck, fearful that his dream was real, that he truly had lost his Buck to terrifying rushing waters.

Eddie held him tight and tried to convince him that Buck was safe and unharmed, sleeping in his apartment but that was not enough, Chris couldn’t be calmed until he saw the man who he had last seen fresh from his dream lost to the water.

With one arm holding his son to his chest, Eddie produced his phone with his other hand, tapping in Buck’s number that had become ingrained into his memory in recent times. The hour was late, but he knew that Buck slept with his ringer on just in case anyone needed his immediate attention, more so especially in the past few weeks.

It rang out.

Undeterred, he called again, and then when that one rang out as well, he sent a text with the simple statement; Chris needs to see you. He had a bad one.

This was something that had become common practice between the two of them in the time directly after the tsunami. It came to no surprise for either of them that Christopher had nightmares after everything that happened, asking for Buck in fear over what had become of him in their time apart.

As soon as Buck knew about them, he became insistent that Eddie call him regardless of the hour if he needed to. Realistically, Eddie knew that Chris seeing Buck was not just for his son’s sake. It was hard to miss the tired lines in his best friend’s face or the fact that his face brightened with relief the moment he saw Chris as if he himself had similar nights as his son.

Despite all that though, as time went on and the anxiety and nightmares lessened, so too did Buck’s physical presence, with them being able to calm the other with a phone call or video chat instead, so that’s how he assumed Buck would answer to the text, just another one of their calls. He certainly didn’t expect to hear the distant sound of keys rattling against the front door some few minutes later, the door opening and closing before the well-dressed form of Buck himself appeared in the doorway.

“Buck!” gasped Chris in surprise and relief, “You’re okay!”

“I sure am bud.” Buck’s eyes darted to Eddie’s for a second before they settled back onto Chris, “Are you okay? Been dreaming about that day again?”

Eddie felt Chris’s head brush against his shoulder as he shook his head at the first question and nod at the second, but all he could do was watch Buck as his face morphed into intense worry like so many times before for a brief second before it turned into one of soft reassurance as he moved to squat beside the bed.

“Hmm, that just won’t do. How about I make you a hot chocolate then we read something and see if you can get some more sleep for tonight.”

“No! don’t go!” cried out Chris as he reached for Buck.

Eddie exchanged a look with Buck before detangling himself from Chris’s grasp, “How about I make the hot chocolate, and Buck sits with you instead?” he offered.

Getting a positive response, Eddie slipped from his spot allowing room for Buck to take his place, and left for the kitchen, moving swiftly to fill a mug with the sweet warm drink. He returned only a few minutes later, hot chocolate in hand, to find the two of them quietly murmuring to each other.

He paused in the doorway for a moment watching the two of them together, seeing Buck say something that caused Christopher to giggle. It was moments like these that reminded him how lucky they were to have someone like Buck in their lives.

He hadn’t really noticed it at first, just how much Buck has become ingrained into their lives, but it had become much more pronounced in the period after Shannon’s passing, his presence becoming a staple in their chaotic world and filling a gap that Eddie had forgotten was there until Buck started occupying it.

Buck brought forth feelings, complicated and conflicting emotions that Eddie didn’t want to comprehend, knew that he shouldn’t try to comprehend, but now they were beginning to be impossible to set-aside more over these last few weeks than ever before, preoccupying his thoughts more often than not.

With a sigh, he tamped down on these thoughts, knowing there was no point in humouring his wishful thinking, and re-emerged into the room and carefully passed the cooling hot chocolate to Chris while Buck picked up the nearby book on his bedside table.

It was there that he read, the dulcet tones of his voice, quiet and soothing, causing Chris to slowly lose the fight with his drooping eyelids and eventually fall asleep against Buck’s side. Between the two of them, they settled Chris back under his bed sheets and pillow, moving in well-rehearsed synchronisation, having done something similar many times before.

As they relocated to the living room, Eddie took in Buck’s appearance, once again noting that he was still dressed, presumably from the dinner with Athena and Bobby that he’d mentioned earlier in the week. Now, however, he could tell that the man was carrying a heaviness in his shoulders that Eddie hadn’t seen since he’d been in his cast.

“Thanks for coming, I’m surprised you came over at this hour though, figured you’d just call.” He said instead, the question for the heaviness on the tip of his tongue.

Buck shrugged as he answered, “I was in the area.”

Eddie looked at the clock, “This late? Would’ve thought you’d be in bed by now surely, I certainly was.”

There was a pause as Buck took him in wearing his pajamas and then at the clock looking as though he hadn’t been aware of the time, “I should go, I don’t want to keep you up.”

“Buck, wait. If something is bothering you, why don’t you tell me.” He offered, gesturing towards the couch.

“I should let you sleep, it's late.”

“I’m not going to be able to until you tell me,” he insisted.

And so, with a sigh, Buck sat down and told him. Told him everything, including his plan of going to see a lawyer to get his job back.

“You didn’t know, did you? That it was only Bobby that was keeping me from coming back.” He asked after getting everything out.

“No, of course not, but Buck, this is the reason why we have a union, you don’t need to go to a lawyer. Why would you think that was the way to go?” he asked curiously, trying not to sound critical.

“I don’t know, just from the way Mackey was saying things. I thought it was going to be my only way to get back to my job and doing something that I know I’m good at, be back with the team, my family… back to you.” He ended softly before his eyes widened and he followed up in a rush, “Because it’s not the same just seeing you guys outside of work.”

Eddie barely heard the last part as he latched onto what Buck inadvertently let slip, feeling his heart flutter as he asked hesitantly, “Me? Why me specifically?”

“I- ah, I just miss working with you, being on your six like I’m supposed to be,” Buck answered evasively.

“Come on, Buck, you’re a terrible liar and you know it. What aren’t you telling me?” he pressed, needing to know for sure what Buck meant with that statement.

“Don’t make me say it Eds,” pleaded Buck quietly.  

“Why not?”

“I won’t be able to pretend it’s not a thing anymore if I do, and I don’t want things to change between us if I say it. Because things will inevitably change even if we say that they won’t.”

Having a sense of what Buck was trying to say without actually saying it, Eddie could feel a beacon of hope, that maybe the feelings that he has been trying to hide from himself and from the world might not be quite so one-sided as he thought.

He placed a gentle hand over Buck’s, “You can say it. I think I know what you’re trying not to say because I’ve been thinking about and trying not to say it too.”  

Eddie could see Buck’s resolve crumbling under the touch.

“I have feelings for you Eddie,” Buck eventually admitted whisper-quiet, unable to look at him.

“That’s what I was hoping you were going to say,” Eddie curled his fingers around Buck’s hand and squeezed gently, “I have feelings for you too Buck.”

Eddie kept his gaze steady on Buck, waiting for his shining eyes to shift back to his, and smiled softly as Buck opened his mouth in disbelief, “You’re not messing with me right now, are you?”

“I’m definitely not messing with you; it’s just taken me a while to believe that this is what I’ve been feeling. They all just got so complicated by Shannon and confusing with you being around as a friend but also filling a role as a partner outside of the workplace without meaning to, I didn’t want to say anything for the same reasons as you said, I didn’t want to jinx what we had.”

Buck tentatively laced their fingers together and they sit like that for what feels like hours as they take each other in, each wearing a soft smile as the reality of the conversation set in. Thoughts of their past moments together taking on a different meaning in this new light.

Eventually, though, Buck broke the silence with a yawn, reminding them both of the late hour, causing them both to stand up, the intimacy of the moment now broken.

“I should go,” Buck announced quietly, punctuating it with another yawn, sending Eddie to yawn reflexively in response.

“Promise you’ll come back in the morning?” He asked of Buck as he followed the man to the door.

“Knowing what I know now, I don’t think I’ll be able to stay away.”

“We can talk properly about going to the union…” Eddie added as Buck opened the door and turned back to face him, “… and we can talk more about this, about us too,”

“I’d like that,” Buck responded with soft eyes as he hesitated in the doorway for a moment before looking like he’d come to a decision and dipped down slightly to touch a featherlight kiss to his cheek, “I’ll see you later.”

Eddie stood there in partial shock as Buck left, hand brushing his cheek where those soft lips had just been, knowing that yes, this was real, and no he wasn’t just imagining it. This was just the beginning of something new and special and all he could think is just how right it felt.

[outrebanx]

Dragonfly - Chapter 3

JJ Maybank x female!reader

Summary: Y/N spends a day out on the boat with the pogues, getting into drinking games and competitions

Warnings: some swearing, dodgy grammar

Word count: 2.4k

Catch up: Chapters 1 - 2 - 

A/N: I feel like this is a little rushed but I was only free for a little bit this evening and I’m busy all of tomorrow cos it’s my sisters birthday and I wanted to get another chapter written before then - feedback is always appreciated :)

You had woken up relatively early today, you always do when you are anxious or excited about something happening that day - today that was meeting up with Kiara and her friends and going out on the water, and if her friends are as nice and cool as her, that could be considered an almost perfect day in your books. This also meant you were overthinking every little thing this morning, from what bikini you should wear to if you should put make up on and everything in between.

After changing outfits about 10 times, you finally decided on a yellow bikini, which showed off your figure really nicely and made your tan look even darker than it was, with some black shorts and a cropped white vest covering it. You then put on some small hoops, a silver anklet and before heading downstairs, you gripped the dragonfly charm of your necklace and did a silent prayer to your mum, saying hi and that you loved her.

After she had died, this had been part of your everyday morning routine and if you forgot because you were in a rush or just not thinking on that particular day, your whole day felt wrong and out of place, so you kept it up, a way of remembering her and keeping her close to you.

When you got downstairs, your dad had already left, leaving a note on the side saying he had gone out looking for some clients that he could do some plumbing for and to search for more materials for the house repairs. You grabbed a pop tart out of the cupboard and stepped outside to see what damage the hurricane last night had done. It didn’t look awful, there were a few fallen branches littering the outside space, all luckily not hitting any of the windows on the house, or your car for that matter. You then locked up, getting into your car and heading over to the Wreck to meet Kie.

She was waiting outside of the building when you got there, waving when she saw your jeep approach, you quickly parked it before going out to meet her.

“Hey,” you say as you got near her, “I didn’t know whether I should bring any food or drinks? If so I can always run back and get some.”

“No you don’t have to, don’t worry, but hey if the guys like you and this becomes a more common thing, there’s no harm in more drinks.” She laughed, putting you at ease.

“Okay, I’m fine with that,” you began walking down the dock after she grabbed the cooler at her feet, chatting about her friends and what they were like.

“Well they will all probably try and flirt with you, not only because you’re gorgeous,” you blushed at her compliment, “but also because I’m the main girl they hang out with and even though they still say those sort of things to me, I’m very used to them now so its boring them.”

She smiled at you, trying to reassure you, “But don’t worry they’re all really nice and they might have a few issues, but I mean, who doesn’t?”

You laughed, “very true.”

Just as you got to the end of the dock, a boat began approaching, you could just make out the faces of those onboard, one of them you didn’t know, but the other two were John B and JJ. Your stomach did flips when you noticed this, how had you managed to bump into them this many times without trying?

“Oh god,” you muttered under your breath, stepping back slightly, causing Kiara to look at you quizzically, not understanding what had caused you to react like this.  At least not until the boat pulled up to the dock and JJ called out to you.

“Hey Y/N, are you stalking us now or something?”

You took a breath before responding, plastering a smile on your face “Well I saw your pretty face once and I just did everything in my power to see it again even getting a job with Kie.”

He laughed at this, holding out his hand to help you onto the boat, “Well I’m glad you went to such lengths,” he leant down towards your ear, “especially because your face isn’t too bad either.”

You rolled your eyes, about to make another remark when Kie interrupted you, “wait you guys know each other?”

“Not really,” John B answered, smiling at you in greeting, which you happily returned before he faced Kie again, “we’ve just bumped into her a few times in the past couple of days, like we helped with her car yesterday and saw her surfing the day before.”

Kie just nodded before looking at you, you just shrugged, showing it was all down to coincidence, but you didn’t mind - this was an acceptable answer for her as she sat down, opening a beer.

The other guy then spoke up, “Well I haven’t met you yet, I’m Pope.”

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You smiled at him, accepting the beer he handed to you, and going to sit down next to Kie, JJ sat opposite with Pope, whilst John B was at the wheel, steering the boat.

“So, Y/N,” Pope began saying after there had been silence for a few minutes, “they said they met you when you were surfing? Does that mean you’re good at it?”

Before you could answer, JJ spoke up from where he was now lying down, “Oh she’s really good, we saw her do a few tricks out there,” he looked over to you, “which was really hot by the way.”

Beside you Kie muttered “oh my god its only been 5 minutes.”

You tried not to laugh at her reaction and turned to Pope, ignoring JJ for now, “I’ve been surfing for most of my life so I guess that has made me pretty good at it, although there’s still plenty of tricks I can’t do. Do all of you surf then?”

“Yeah, living on island doesn’t make it easy to have other hobbies some of the time, so we all started surfing young as well.” John B said from the wheel.

You all made some small talk for a while, asking about where you’re from, how you’re finding life on the island so far, asking how they all knew each other and other stuff like that to fill the time until you reached your destination.

Eventually, John B stopped the boat, pulled off his shirt and without a word to anyone, jumped into the water. Everyone else took this as their cue to get undressed, you included, Kie and Pope jumping into the water before you had even got your shorts off.

You felt JJ’s eyes on your body once you were just in your bikini, you raised your eyebrows at him, “see anything you like?”

Instead of answering he just smirked at you before turning and jumping into the water where the others were waiting. Ignoring that interaction, and trying to put the thoughts of how good he looked with no shirt out of your head, you jumped in after him.

You had been in the middle of talking to Kie when JJ sent a huge splash of water into you,  getting into your mouth and eyes, causing you to swear as you coughed up the water you’d accidentally swallowed.

“You dick! You’re gonna regret that.” You say, laughing slightly as you sent a wave of water his way, too fast for him to dodge it completely.

After that it was an all out war, everyone trying to splash everyone else, laughter and swearing filling the air, you were happy, feeling like you had been friends with these guys a lot longer than half a day. Still wanting to get a more specific revenge on JJ for causing you to swallow water, you submerged yourself completely, quickly moving to where he was treading water, and grabbing his legs and pulling him under with you. He squirmed in shock before relaxing, you let go of his legs and moved towards the surface, laughing as you saw him trying to make an angry face unsuccessfully as he was smiling at your antics.

Wanting to get another drink, you made your way up the side of the boat, even if your ass was in full view to everyone, not that you minded that much, knowing it looked good and that it was a way of teasing JJ. There was something about him that you just couldn’t shake, obviously he was beyond attractive, but so were both John B and Pope, he just intrigued you, his sense of humour was similar to yours but you felt that was only the surface and you wanted to know more about him. Or you could just keep winding him up, which was fun as well.

As you sat there with your beer, the others began getting out of the water for a small break as well, Kie coming onto the boat first, smiling at you, happy that you seemed to fit in with this group really well.

You all sat there, drinking in a comfortable silence, when Pope announced he wanted to play a game or something similar.

“Does anyone have any ideas for what we could do?” Kie asked after everyone agreed to Pope’s idea.

“Uh there’s the usual - like truth or dare, never have I ever, some sort of competition…” John B listed off on his hand

“I’m up for anything, but not sure I want you guys to see how competitive I get when you still don’t know me that well.” You laughed, regretting saying anything when JJ looked up at you, a mischievous smile on his face.

He clapped his hands together, “competition it is then!”

You stuck your middle finger up at him in response, causing him to smirk, you looked away, not wanting to end up smiling at him when you were currently feigning anger at him.

“Okay,” John B started, “what kind of things should we compete in?”

“What about drinking? So like whoever can chug their beer the fastest.” JJ said, seeming confident that he could win, but he was yet to drink with you and you were almost certain you could win this.

“I’m up for that,” you say, then looking over at JJ, “I hope you’re ready to lose pretty boy.”

“Pretty boy?” He scoffed, “Can’t think of a better nickname? And trust me I won’t lose.”

“Thats your nickname until I find one more suited to you at least.”

You turned away from him to listen as Kie laid out the rules, drink as quickly as possible and turn the drink upside down over your head to prove you’ve finished it - she would be judging this one so she handed you all a new beer.

“Okay…go”

The four of you began chugging, the drink easily moving down your throat and you quickly finished, putting the empty bottle over your head, a small drop escaping onto your hair. You turned to see all 3 boys finishing after you, you cheered at your success before addressing JJ, “suck on that Maybank.”

“I would much rather you do the sucking.” He laughed as you playfully hit his arm, slightly shaking your head at him.

“Wow, Y/N,” Pope said, “I think you’re gonna fit in this group quite nicely, even if you can outdrink all of us.”

You smiled at him, not only because of your success, but also because of how he said you were part of the group, and you couldn’t deny you really wanted some great friendships when you moved here - and it looked like you might have found it.

“What else can we do then?” Kie asked.

John B responded, “what about who can do the best jump or dive off the boat?”

There was a groan from Pope at that suggestion, but the others seemed up for it, as you were now dried off from being in the water and you didn’t want to go back in just yet, so you offered to be the judge for this one.

“Afraid you could lose this one?” JJ teased

“No just want to give y’all a chance to win before you start resenting me for how amazing I am.”

He laughed, “whatever you say.”

John B was the first to jump, followed by Kie, then Pope, all trying to seem as impressive as possible, leaving just JJ to jump. Before you could say anything, JJ had picked you up, put you over his shoulder and jumped off the boat, ignoring your protests as you plunged into the water.

The others were laughing as you reemerged from the water, removing yourself mostly from JJ’s grip, ignoring that he still had his hand on your back.

“Well, after that stunt, I think Kie definitely wins.”

She let out a cheer from where she was treading water, the boys all looking at you as if you’d played favourites, but you just held out your hand in an attempt to stop their protests.

You all stayed like that for a little while, just in the water and chatting - from time to time doing another sort of challenge, which you kept winning much to your delight and everyone else’s dismay. Then the day began turning into evening, so you all got back onto the boat and began heading back.

You and Kie were the first to get dropped off, both climbing out of the boat after saying goodbyes to the boys and as they left she turned to you, “well seems like I’ll be seeing you loads with work and you now being part of the pogues.”

“That is alright isn’t it?”

She smiled at you, “Absolutely, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for another girl to come into this group, and you’ll certainly keep us all on our toes, especially JJ.” She smirked at you.

“Don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ve almost never seen JJ lost for words, but he didn’t seem to know what to say to you at times today, and hey by what I know about you, you two would certainly be cute together.”

You laughed, “Nah flirting is one thing, but a relationship isn’t really what I want at the minute, too much stuff to work out.”

She nodded, “Fair enough, anyway I’ll see you at work tomorrow?”

“Yep, see you then.” You say, getting into your car before driving away.

The whole way back, you were singing loudly to your music, happy and content after the day you had, and for the first time since your mum died, truly looking forward to tomorrow.

Taglist: @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @tangledinsparkles​ @k-k0129​ @jjsbxtch​ @outerbankslove​ @obx-beach​ @emerald-xcd​ @danicarosaline​ @belledutchess​ @teamnick​

[reversecreek]

struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.

* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage

nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>

(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah. 

(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3

(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3

(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands

(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.

things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.

SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.

PERSONALITY:

sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?

likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations

sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.

luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole

has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.

unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot..... 

loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.

(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.

dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.

sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3

chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.

nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)

they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.

came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.

honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.

[kittinoir]

Phantoms Ch. 6

“Ladybug said I was awesome.” Not entirely true, but Queen Bee never could stand silence. “She said that I’d made huge improvements.”

Koira didn’t even glance her way. “And?”

“And?” Queen Bee repeated as they arced around the Eiffel Tower. “And a compliment to me is a compliment to you. I thought you’d like to know.”

“Compliments from Ladybug are meaningless” Koira said as they began the second half of their patrol. 

Outrage boiled up in Queen Bee, for once on behalf of someone else. “Are you seriously saying you think you’re better than her?”

“I’m saying she thinks too much,” Koira said, coming to an abrupt stop on a slanted roof. “I’m saying this whole mess could have been avoided if she’d just asked for help. I’m saying Ladybug doesn’t like me, I don’t like her, and it’s fine. And I’m saying if you worried less about what Ladybug thought of you and more about what you wanted, you’d be even better.”

There was so much to unpack there, Queen Bee didn’t even know where to start. “What mess are you talking about?” Her heart beat painfully in her chest. There could only be one mess he could mean. She’d stupidly thought he of all people would never hold it against her. She’d thought they were the same.

But Koira just laughed, a bitter sound without any real humour. “There’d be no point in telling you.”

Queen Bee stomped her foot in frustration. “Why? You think I’m so enamoured with Ladybug I’ll just take her side? Or am I too stupid to understand?”

Finally, finally, Koira met her eyes. The usual disdain had vanished. In its place was…pity?

“You won’t be able to hold onto it,” he finally said as he began running again. “It’s a waste of time.”

Unease swirled through Queen Bee as she followed, but it was overwhelmed by hurt. He really did think she was stupid. He really did. 

“Why do you even bother with me, then,” she choked out. Damnit, she was not going to cry. Especially because Felix had hurt her feelings. As if she cared about what Adrien’s cranky cousin thought of her anyway. As if she cared what any of them thought! She was Chloe Bourgeois! She had beauty, style, grace! She was the real deal; Felix was just too blind to see it. And that was hardly her fault.

“Ugh,” Koira groaned, glancing back at her over his shoulder. “This is why I wanted to wash my hands of this whole thing. I work better alone.” But still, he stopped, dragging Queen Bee into the thing shadow of a chimney. 

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” he said, scowling. “But you won’t remember. The team is at a disadvantage because of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s choices. Everyone’s identity is one mistake away from being revealed.”

Even as he spoke, Queen Bee was having trouble remembering the words. She managed to hold onto them - barely. “Speaking from experience, your identity being known isn’t the problem. Hawk Moth had an advantage when the Miraculous were being dropped off, but now that we hold onto them full time - ”

“He can come and get them any time he wants,” Koira interrupted, starting off again. 

Queen Bee followed, at a loss. He wasn’t wrong. Hawk Moth had done that very thing to her when he’d targeted her parents. He’d known she’d do anything to save them. And it was her fault most of their team was now at the same disadvantage. But…

“What were they supposed to do?” Queen Bee said at last as she followed her partner through an alley. “What would you have done?”

She was close enough she could see him scowl. He was quiet so long she didn’t think he would answer, but then he spoke.

“It’s impossible to know.” He sped up. “I’ve never loved someone that much.”

Neither had she. She hadn’t even loved herself that much. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Queen Bee finally said. “It’s done. The only thing that matters is whether or not you trust them.”

Koira glanced back again, a half-smile on his face. “Not really,” he said, “And if you knew what I do, you wouldn’t either. But that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we have the same goals. That’s enough for me.”

Maybe it was her recent experiences with Ladybug, or the fact that she now knew who wore the earrings, but Queen Bee found herself agreeing with Koira. She trusted Ladybug and Chat Noir to do their best, but around each other…

Love was a weapon. Her parents had taught her that. It had only ever led to pain. 

Queen Bee was so engrossed in her warring thoughts that she nearly hit a weathervane, narrowly avoiding it only by throwing herself into a graceful arc over the obstruction.

“Where are we?” she demanded as she glanced around. “This isn’t our normal route.”

“No,” Koira agreed. “I thought it was time to do more than just damage control.”

Queen Bee scowled at her partner. “Meaning?”

“Why are we always cleaning up Hawk Moth’s messes?” Koira said as he led her down another street. “Why are we always being chased instead of chasing?”

“Like, a million reasons.” Trust was one thing, but questioning how things were done… it wasn’t perfect but it worked. “One, we don’t know anything about him. Two, he, like, never shows up in public. Three, we don’t know anything about him.”

“Don’t we?” Koira said, finally coming to a stop on the roof of a random building. “After all, Chat Noir thought he didn’t know anything about Ladybug until he had to find her.”

Queen Bee opened her mouth to argue, but the words died on her tongue as her heart beat once, then twice. A tone rang briefly in her ear, distracting her, until she abruptly refocused on Koira shaking his head, the last few seconds a hazy blur.

“We just think we don’t know anything about him,” Koira continued as though nothing had happened as he pulled a loose tile out. “Truth is, LB and Chat Noir have been so busy cleaning up they haven’t had time to do anything else. But now they have us.”

“Are you going to stop being cryptic or do I have to continue to pretend to be interested in whatever you’re rambling about?” Queen Bee snapped. 

Koira scowled, but leaned back to show her the map he’d pulled out from under the tile, marked with dozens of red dots. “Do you know how criminal profiling started?”

“Like…instagram accounts for bad guys?”

“Profiling.” Koira pointed to the map. “Where detectives and scientists would put together a profile on their bad guy based on the data of their crimes to help them catch them when they didn’t even have an eye-witness to go on. It started when investigators would mark where suspects carried out their crimes. More often than not, the crimes would take place in a radius around where the suspect did the deed. They didn’t like to go too far from home, but they didn’t like to be too close, either. Too obvious. Problem is, you’re left with a nice little target on your head that anyone can find if they just notice the pattern.”

Queen Bee frowned at the map. “But that doesn’t look like anything. There’s dots all over Paris.”

“But just Paris,” Koira said, splaying his gloved hand over the map. “So we know he’s probably in the city.”

“Puh-lease! He’s after the Miraculous, right? Which is where Ladybug and Chat Noir are. So he’s creating akumas here. That’s all that proves. After all, you’re not from here.”

“He has to be close,” Koira insisted. “The Miraculous have limits. He wouldn’t be able to feel negative emotions from too far away.”

“Not necessarily,” Queen Bee said, crouching closer to the map for a better look. “The horse miraculous and rabbit miraculous have no limits on distance, temporal or physical. He akumatized a villain in the United States just a few months ago.”

Koira huffed, running a hand through his hair. “This is why I bother with you.”

Queen Bee blinked over at him. “What?”

“You’re so combative.” He traced an invisible line from dot to dot. “You just love to be right.” His hand abruptly froze on the map as he looked over at her. “I see things more clearly with you.”

Queen Bee could feel every nerve in her body tingle as those green eyes bored into hers. So similar, but so different. Amber flecks instead of blue. But looking at Adrien had never made her feel like this, like every nerve in her body was on fire.

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re right,” she whispered. “He would want to be here, to get his hands on the Miraculous as soon as possible. Maybe not when everything first started, but now…”

“He’s appeared in the city,” Koira said, but his gaze didn’t stray from her face. “He saved Mayura when she was in danger. He wouldn’t have been fast enough if he’d been elsewhere.”

“So he’s here,” Queen Bee repeated, finally breaking his gaze to scour the map again, but no pattern revealed itself.

“Somewhere. We just have to flush him out.” Koira paused, tracing more invisible lines. “It might take some…bonding time.”

Queen Bee made a face. “Bonding time? With…?”

Koira barked a laugh as he caught her meaning. “God, no. I meant you with our fearless leader and me with my dear cousin. There’s a pattern here; we just need more details. I’m betting the wonder twins have just been too enamoured with one another to see it. But you and I can probably find it, or some clues, to start to form a picture.”

“Oh. Right.” She was definitely not stung that he didn’t want to hang out with her. She was just embarrassed to have jumped to conclusions. That was it. “Well, I must warn you, the Lady’s not my biggest fan. She might be suspicious.”

Koira glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Trust me: play your cards right and she’ll give you just about anything. I, on the other hand, have no such trump card. The cat will have his back up.”

But Queen Bee bit her lip. “Maybe it would be better to just tell them.” Striking out on her own, not trusting Ladybug had been what had caused all her problems in the first place. 

“Answer me this,” Koira said, turning to face her. “Do you honestly think they’ll let us do this if we say anything?”

No. No, they wouldn’t. They’d be afraid of the consequences. Queen Bee was afraid of the consequences. But she was beginning to be more afraid of what she already had to lose. A sense of urgency rose up in her, nudging at her in a way she couldn’t quite grasp. She breathed through the panic, letting it guide her to a conclusion.

“Once we find him,” Queen Bee said at last, “We tell them, before we do anything.” 

“Deal,” Koira said, reaching for his map. “I would have anyway. I’ve seen first-hand the consequences of taking Hawk Moth on without everyone on board. But until then, this stays between us.”

Queen Bee stood, arms crossed. “As if I’ll even remember what house this is after we leave,” she scoffed.

But she would. She’d memorized the house across the way and the name of the street. She might not get it on the first try, but if she had to, she could probably find it again. She was done, she decided. She was done letting Hawk Moth jerk her around. She was done having her life ruined over and over again because she was afraid. And she was done being on defense. 

And she wanted it, she realized. More than anything, she wanted Hawk Moth’s head on a platter. It had been months since he’d last manipulated her, but the wounds were still fresh, and stung more than she remembered. 

Queen Bee wanted her life back.

And Hawk Moth was going to damn well give it to her, even if she had to chase him through all of Paris to get it.

[lemonietrinket]

Muse’s Memories ||| Jae x Reader

Summary: You believe you have a crush on YoungK, Jae has a mega-crush on you. Moping ensues. Genre: Angst, humour, some fluff, happy ending Warning(s): Jae is melancholic and melodramatic, but that’s it Word Count: 2334 i lost 2k words are you kidding m-- Song(s): Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex AN: sorry it took a bit of time anon, i wrote a big chunk of it and then scrapped it entirely and started again, and then lost all of it to my laptop shutting down.  its been a long time coming so i hope it was worth the wait :((

~~~

The guitar strings were rough at Jae’s fingertips. They dug deep like thin strips of wrought iron, scraping at the skin as he ran them across the board, waiting for them to inspire him. Pressing his fingers by the frets hard enough to dent, he had been perched upon his stool, acoustic guitar in his embrace, for well over an hour.

A numb sigh fell from his lips and he curled in on himself, forehead knocking against the varnished body as his arm fell emptily away. His breath came out staggered, and at the first sign of the crumple of his lips, he straightened his back and stared into the bushes right outside the practice room window.

“I think I have a crush on Younghyun,” you had mused to him one afternoon, between sips of coffee and the chatter of the room. It had been at the beginning of term, when the sun was tinged with frost in the early mornings, sat inside the small milkshake place you always visited before your Wednesday classes, just the two of you. He avoided the place now whenever he could.

Despite the long weeks that had passed since then, the words caught up with him in the moments of silence, when he could hear how it was banished for others. Now, the suffocating quiet twisted at his throat, whilst next door came the sounds of cheers—friends discussing dream projects and futures they believed in, a young singer coming to the end of her solo practice to be received with astounded compliments from those at her side.

Hand heavy, he moved once again to strum a chord, to banish the silence and relieve himself of the thoughts that intruded. His fingers rose, then fell, and no sound followed. His fist hung lifeless at the guitar’s side.

The truth was, Jae he hadn’t gotten over you. Far from it.  Not when his roommate told him, not when he heard it from your very lips himself. Because there was no escaping it. No matter where he went, there were reminders of you. In the street corner player’s melody, in the loud stereo of the passing cars. When he tried to spend more time apart from the two of you, it was as if you were following him, and the only explanation he could procure was that you were waiting for Younghyun every time. If he was with him, then lo and behold there you were too. If it was just supposed to be you and Jae, he would arrive and find an extra chair already pulled up. It was as if the world wanted to rub salt in the wound.

And so there was no way for his eyes not to catch how whenever Younghyun turned up you smiled, how whenever he added a comment to his joke you laughed, just as freely as you did with him. Even though you confided in everything with him, he could only ever think of how much it must have paled in comparison to how Younghyun must make you feel. Of all the people you would have a crush on, it had to be his second best friend.

But you were his first, and so he sucked it up. He answered all the questions you wanted to know about him, gave the best advice he could, all the encouragement he could muster. It was the right thing to do after all, and he supposed that if he could’t make you happy, then at least the person he would next suggest would be able to instead.  

“He doesn’t like this place.”

“What? So what does he like then?”

“Bars, restaurants. Fancy ones, you know the sort. The old-timer lounge at the very top of the mall?” 

He couldn’t forget how your voice lilted into incredulous snickers. “What poor taste he has.”

“He’s more of a classic romantic,” Jae had defended, words flowing despite the cuts they seemed to embed in his tongue, “he’ll treat you well, Y/N.”

“You’re talking as if he’s already asked me out.”

He might as well have done.

Jae rubbed his temples roughly, wishing the ache would dissipate alongside the memories seemingly tacked to it. That was when the guitar slipped down his thighs, and disconnected from his body, he rushed to catch it. The wood felt too big in his hands, the edge pressing hard against the lines of his skin, but his mind was too busy caught up elsewhere to care. 

His finger had caught the E string, sending a quiet hum through the practice room, and straight to his heart. The weight lifted from his palms in that moment, as the image of you lifted the instrument into your lap. He could almost see you before him, sat upon the stool that he couldn’t remember pulling up, across from his knees. 

You were perched clear as day, clutching at his guitar. It was too big for you, your arm too short to embrace the wooden body snugly, and your grip was all wrong, pressing the frets too lightly and leaving the strings to squeak, but you didn’t care one bit. You were aglow; your grin was bright, your humming effortless, while your fingertips traced along the strings, as if greeting an old friend. You knew nothing of course, and it showed as you played around with the notes you could find from the stickers upon the fretboard. 

Your eyes had been alight in a playful awe at the sounds you made with literally no knowledge at all. It had been so similar yet so different to the amazement that you had given Younghyun when he mentioned he played the bass. 

Jae couldn’t help but wonder just how happy you would look strumming at the bass guitar. It was indulgent to a downward spiral but he couldn’t help it—the two pictures were barely separable anymore. Knowing his friend, he was so much more confident than he was. He would correct your grip, gently rest his chest to your back and raise his fingers to meet yours, gently entwine them so he could teach you how to strum, until you were truly making music, together...

It stung. Just like it did every other time he pictured it. Because he’d had some many more opportunities to do the same with you, but he hadn’t taken them. Just as he’d had all that time to confess, but didn’t. Whenever you asked if he was interested in anyone, he shrugged it off, biting in his nerves as best he could to change the subject. Just like how he did nothing but watch you play, with a stupid smile on his face, laughing when you did at the flat twang of an E string.

The guitar fell heavy in his palms once again, and he was reminded of the song left half finished that you had inspired. He’d started it in an effort to capture the memory, capture the sounds, to remove them from his head but to keep them safe. So he could reach a state of peace. But it hadn’t worked, and you stayed with him. It should have been no surprise really—how could he write about his muse to escape the problems that the muse had unfortunately caused.  It was as if the world was stopping him for some reason, one that he couldn’t discern, and so he was left at a loss for what to do. 

At that moment, the light of the room dimmed. 

Bringing his eyes back into focus from where they had sat staring unintelligibly at the wall, he blinked against the discomfort to find a silhouette in the window. Their head was low by the pane, curbed by no hood as their hand waved behind the specks of water upon the glass. You.

Barely comprehending what he was seeing, and still uneasily not trusting his senses much at all going by how out of reality he had been just moments before, his body moved surprisingly quickly of its own volition. Propping up his guitar at the side of the stool opposite, he ambled over to the window. 

With your hair wrung and bejewelled with droplets of rain, cheeks mottled with blush from the wind and a small and sweet smile upon your lips, he would have been at a loss for words for sure if he hadn’t been already. Nevertheless, he was beginning to ease back into the swing of reality, when your mouth parted in a way he was all too familiar with. Even though he couldn’t hear you, he knew you were calling his name.

Yanking the window open as far as it would go, he remained silent as the wind pierced through the open gap, pluming into the tepid warmth of the room behind.

“Hi, Jae,” you greeted. Your voice was unusually quiet, mottled by the rain, but regardless was music to his ears. 

“Y-Y/N, hey,” he cleared his throat, hoping you weren’t paying too much attention to how dry he sounded, “what are you doing out here, it’s cold, you should come inside—”

“You know I can’t open that old door,” you chuckled, eyes glancing off to where the entrance to the music block vaguely sat. “Anyway, I’m fine, don’t worry.”

He knew he should have pressed the matter further, but between the murk of his swirling thoughts, he could barely comprehend a thing, and so ended up running with the first piece of clarity they choked up. And this of course, true to character, came in the form of a memory. 

Peering at your empty fingers, tucked beneath the sleeves of an old jacket too thin to protect you from the weather, he began, “Hey... why aren’t you with Younghyun? Where are the flowers...? Like... you said, you were going to give him those flowers... to... turn the tables...”

The words poured off his tongue and he couldn’t stop them no matter how much he wished he could. However, what struck him more confused was the reaction that followed.

“I binned them.”

“What?!” he’d exclaimed, senses returning to his fingers in the face of the cold.

“I binned them,” you reiterated, “because the guy I should really give them to doesn’t like them.”

“But... Younghyun likes roses! I’m sure of it! And... and I’m sure he wouldn’t have an issue with receiving them for a change. Like, it would be—”

Your eyes failed to meet his, and instead appeared much more entranced with the way the rain spilled off the leaves of the bushes by your legs. You sighed, in preparation to take a deep breath, before answering, “He doesn’t like them because... one, allergies. And two, allergies.”

Jae’s head was a mess and with a strange sensation of pins and needles slowly spiralling up his hands that were pressed into the windowsill ledge, he ended up not responding, in an effort to finally decipher what had just unravelled before him.

Readjusting your fingers beneath your sweater paws, after the moments of silence, you drew your head up at last cautiously, dreading what you would find. It turned out that you had no reason to worry. The poor victim of your mistake was stood dumbfounded and dead still, plush lips agape while his dark eyes blinked rapidly at you,in the face of confusion and the wind. Had this been a more lighthearted matter you would have called him cute. 

You explained, in an attempt to help him to process the information before him. “I’m sorry I’m such an idiot, Jae,” you said, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you watched the light frown trickle onto his features, “I... I pavlov-ed myself. Please forgive me.” 

Still, he remained quiet the realisation sinking in. He had been wrong, so painstakingly, utterly wrong, and he was beginning to notice he didn’t care a single bit.

“I got my feelings mixed up and... well I was always happy around Younghyun, and always felt excited to see him so I just... figured it was him that made me excited,” you continued, “not that... I was actually excited to see you, and that he was usually a precursor to you... uh...”

Everything clicked into place for Jae, and with his reactions seemingly on a delay, he finally spoke up. “You... pavlov-ed... yourself?”

Meeting his gaze at last, you offered him a nervous and guilt-ridden smile. “Yeah.”

The wind whistled through the window, as the rain eased for a few seconds. And then came the burst of laughter. 

It began slow. First, the corners of his lips twitched, and subsequently upturned. A small disjointed flow of giggles followed, next chuckles, until, finally, Jae cackled.

The two of you erupted into sheer guffawing at the state the two of you had been in. Jae shoulder’s relaxed as he leant away from the window, while the cold seemed to leave your bones. You wiped at your eyes, whether it was rain that was clouding them or tears of happiness or relief you had no way of knowing. Instead you relished in the moment, and the sight of your actual crush in fits of laughter. He was too cute after all. Jae meanwhile couldn’t believe his ears, nor just how quickly the melancholy left his system. 

Some would argue that he should have been more annoyed, but there was no way that he could have been. Not at you, his muse. Besides, he had to take partial blame, all that distancing from you after picking his narrative and choosing to only listen to evidence that agreed with it left him appearing vacant and disinterested.

Still, it wasn’t like he would let you forget this, in all playful tones of teasing. This was in fact, a memory worth keeping.  As long as he forgot the moping that came before it, which he was sure he would be able to do. 

“Jae can I come inside now, it’s getting real cold out here.”

“Oh, yeah, of course, uh—sorry, hang on—”

~~~

an: i hate how melodramatic this is. and i dont like the ending, but having the fluffy kiss thing doesnt really fit the vibe imo. even though i hoped it would. i will give yall a window kiss thing at some point i promise. maybe the san x reader royalty au oooh now thats an idea

Masterlist

[totallypathet]

Episode Three

First of all...what the fuck was that challenge. And what the fuck was the logic to judging it?! I spent so much of this episode just being confused. I think it would have been so much better if they were allowed to come up with their own ideas and characters, instead of having this really narrow space to work in; that was bizarre to me. Like Just Jan could have done a really delusional, high energy character who was the worst singer in the world; that would have been funny! Instead they stuck them with these bizarre storylines that made no sense, and had very little humour in them. Idk whose choice that was but it was a choice. Anyway, let's get into the rundown!

1. Aiden Zhane

I am not living for Aiden at all. Her attitude in both episodes has let a lot to be desired for me. And also, that runway? What was that? I could buy that dress on Asos, glue some bows to it and have that look. The concept was cool, the bows falling on her? Cool idea. But if you're going to do that then you need to Do It, yknow? Like it would have been cool if she'd had a huge wig completely made of bows. Or if she'd had an umbrella and made it look like it was raining bows, or something, that could have been really cool! It could have been amazing and she took a really easy way out. Disappointing. And her performance was dull. She deserved to be in the bottom more than Nicky Doll.

The only thing I will say for Aiden in this episode is the way Brita and Redacted behaved towards her was really uncool. They did that whole "you didnt lead us at all", and then told her that they carried her? You know that if she had led them they would have totally thrown her under the bus and said "well we do this professionally and we wanted to do this, but she was the leader and she made us do that". It was totally a damned if you, damned if you don't; and that was really unfair.

2. Brita

Guys, I am Bored of Brita. I am over it, and I am underwhelmed. I haven't seen anything from her that I've enjoyed! Her looks have been dull, she's not that funny, and I dont like the way she behaves (like I said with Aiden). She wont be next to go home, but hopefully she wont be long.

3. Crystal Methyd

STOP TRYING TO CHANGE CRYSTAL METHYD! I'm so sick of them going "oh her makeup is always the same", when it has been different each time!! She has a style and a brand, but it's not the same face!! Aiden Zhane does the same fucking face, none of them have picked that out! Loads of queens come in and they only have one face! Not mentioning any names Silky Nutmeg Ganache and Roxxxy Andrews. They got away with it because they were beauty mugs and that's the type of drag this show is biased towards. Crystal Methyd is an artist, let her do herself! That runway look was ugly though. Having said all that. Her face was gorgeous, I loved her makeup, I just thought that look wasnt very her! It didn't suit her somehow, it wasn't right. But she tried really hard during the improv, and I think she did a passable job! She honestly should have been safe, fight me. I just really hope she doesn't change herself to please the judges bc she has such a great vision and point of view, and I don't want her to lose sight of how great she is.

4. Dahlia Sin

Dahlia, Dahlia, Dahlia. Speaking of being underwhelmed, am I right? I had such high hopes for Dahlia, but this week she just didn't pull anything out. I personally think the fruit sketch was really funny, but it would have been exactly the same if Dahlia hadn't been in the group. She was so focused on being ~sexy~ (which is tough in a broccoli costume), that she forgot about everything else. Plus her bows and buttons look was just...odd. from the neck up it had this very avant garde, couture feel, but the outfit itself just looked unfinished. And then to have this weird arse peekaboo thing? Really weird choice. She deserved to be in the bottom and, after that lip sync, she deserved to go home.

I have seen a lot of posts about Dahlia "storming out", and I genuinely don't understand what they're talking about? Like, okay, she didn't say anything before she walked off, does that really constitute storming off? If she'd walked off while Ru was still talking, or if she'd yelled/screamed/sworn, then sure, maybe - but from what I saw she was just upset and wanted to leave as fast as possible. Idk, also they haven't released Untucked on the UK Netflix, so maybe there was more I didnt see.

5. Gigi Goode

I live for Gigi so much. I mean come on! Her character in the improv was passed out half the time and still had presence! She's so funny, and she's not afraid to let loose and get ugly. I think she did a good job in the improv, especially for someone without all that much experience, and her look on the runway was incredible. Solid 8/10 for Gigi this week.

6. Heidi N Closet

Heidi was robbed. I bought everything Heidi was selling this week. I bought it, I didn't stream it, I didn't rent it from the Netflix, I bought it. She was so funny during the challenge; the flipper? She spat out? Iconic. She had me dying the whole time, her, Jackie Cox and Gigi Goode should have their own series, I'd watch the hell out of it. Then she came bouncing down the runway as glitter Pinnochio, and she told that story about when she was at school and I loved every second! Shes so charming, and loveable, and relatable, and Jaida Essence Hall must have been gagged when she was top 2. She was robbed, she should have won, and she should keep her name! That whole thing with "the mouth has to change shape and it's not satisfying to say"? Bullshit, utter bullshit bitch. Heidi N Closet 4lyf.

7. Jackie Cox

Jackie made me so happy this week! Their whole group was hilarious, but Jackie doing the bad ventriloquist act just sent me, I loved it. And she just seems like the sweetest person as well! Her runway look was gorgeous, I loved the reference, her makeup was absolutely stunning, Jackie Cox is seriously the whole package. Her and Heidi should have been top 2 together.

8. Jaida Essence Hall

Jaida came in looking like a pageant queen, but she seriously flexed her comedy muscles this week! Her "bad apple" was hilarious, and she really committed to it! She was a firm leader in the group, but she was a good team player in the scene, she let everyone else have their moment too, and it was a good performance! I was a little bit disappointed that her runway look was very very similar to her spring mini challenge look from last week, but it was still a good look, and honestly I probably wouldnt have noticed if it hadn't been one episode after the other. She has shown a lot of diversity already, I think she just set the bar so high last week that I was really expecting something incredible, and I got something that was "just" good instead. She's still one to beat at the moment!

9. Jan

Jan made me so proud this week!! She was really funny in the skit, she had so much energy and enthusiasm, I loved it! Her jokes were funny, she picked a solid character and played it well, and can we talk about the runway though??? I really expected her to come out in something cute, because her personality is so bubbly and instead she gave me horror high fashion, monster couture and she Sold. Every. Second. It was a total transformation from the challenge to the runway and that, at the heart of it, is what I love about drag; that transformation aspect is just art to me. For me, Jan has it all. She definitely should have been top 3 this week. I think she's served the best runways so far, and I cannot wait to see what she does next week.

10. Nicky Doll

Okay, you guys know I love Nicky Doll. This week was not a good week for her. I appreciate that improv must be so hard in your second language, but I think she suffered a little bit from Dahlia Syndrome: she was so focused on staying pretty that she didn't really deliver anything. I kind of wish her character had literally just been French and spoke no English - part of the joke could have been that language barrier and Crystal/Window not understanding a word she said and her getting more and more frustrated about it. That could have been really funny. Also, her runway look...I know where she was going with it, it was a cool concept, and it was executed okay, there was just something missing, you know? It felt a little bit rushed, and again there was this real focus on being ~pretty~. Maybe if she'd looked a little more Cinderella ish, like her makeup wasn't perfect, and her hair was tied up like she was actually sewing, it would have sold me a little more character. I'm not sure, everything was just a little off for me this week, but I still think she's fierce af, and we all stumble sometimes. I'm looking forward to seeing her get back on her feet next week!

11. Rock M Sakura

Rock M was picked last for the challenge, I could not believe it. She deserved better than that, I was shook. She definitely picked the right group though, she was really funny as the Orange! She looked like she was having fun, and that's what I love about Rock M, is that I have fun watching her have fun. Her jokes were great, she matched Jan's energy, and I think she did a good job. I loved her runway look as well, the Alice in Wonderland concept was great, and I love that she kept the dress pretty simple so that the focus was on her hair and makeup! Her makeup was gorgeous, and the detail of the buttons on her face was stunning! It was a great concept, well executed, this week was a great week for Rock M, and I'm going to be furious if she gets picked last again.

12. Widow Von Du

Widow is getting The Edit. The edit that queens of colour who are talented get, where they paint them as bitchy, or loud, or as stepping on the other girls' toes; so that the audience isn't too pussed off when they get eliminated. Widow is exceedingly talented, and funny, and filled with personality. She also serves looks and delivers incredible performances. I will not let this edit take that away from her. She did great this week. She delivered everything I ordered in the challenge and more, she completely transformed for the runway, and she sold me a great presentation. Widow is definitely one to beat.