#so faggot and so damn autistic

[sunflowers-and-sweetviolets]

anyway. whaddyah call this one again, fear céile, A ghrá, A rúnsearc, something like that

[molsno]

I'd be lying if I said I didn't look upon all those people who talk about giving up on life and just becoming a neet with envy. maybe that's problematic or reductive of me but like damn I wish that was even an option for me. if I did that, I would simply be homeless. that's all there is to it. nobody in my life has the means to support me indefinitely; certainly not my family, who are basically all poor women struggling to support themselves, multiple of them having been evicted from their homes very recently. even if they were able to financially support me (who are my options? MAYBE my cop sister and her cop husband? fat fucking chance), how would I get there? I live on the other side of the country, thousands of miles away. should I give up on the few nice things I've been able to afford (which I am still in debt paying off) that have given me some basic securities - namely my bed and car - and use the last of my money to board a plane there? or should I risk my life driving across the country as an inexperienced driver hauling a trailer full of my belongings?

the fact is that I'm the only person in my entire family to have ever earned a bachelor's degree, but even passing through the classist barrier that is higher education was not sufficient to free me from the chains of poverty. I'm an autistic tranny faggot who never learned any of the necessary skills to succeed under capitalism because nobody in my life could have ever taught me that. because I transitioned, I have no connections from my college days, and I lack the social skills to engage in networking, which bars me from most jobs that are actually worthwhile. essentially, even as lucky as I am to hold a degree in computer science (which technically is not even issued under my name as I've never had enough money to get it reissued after my name change), I still have to contend with the fact that the actual benefits of said degree will continually be gatekept from me due to my background.

it is so tempting, especially now as I discover how much more time I have for personal fulfillment while unemployed, to simply give up and resign myself to the fate that seems so fitting for me. unfortunately, I literally Can Not do that, as the only thing waiting for me on the other side is a life far, FAR worse than anything my family has suffered, and one which I will never recover from. I'm forced to play the capitalist game no matter how much misery it brings me. the only thing that I can dream about is one day feeling even the slightest bit of stability.

[brothermoth]

on trans men

I think there's a huge uptick in transphobia (I shan't use the no no word because this isn't about that, but I will use the tag for traction) towards trans men. It is NOT from any one group in particular, but I think the queer community especially needs to reckon with this alongside discussions of transfeminism and the overall social reckoning with trans people as a whole. We're a hot topic right now and facing so much fucking nonsense.

I think y'all need to hear from a person. We're all people, I think we forget sometimes.

I'm 5'1, I've got uncomfortably big tits. I look like a 13 year old closeted gay boy if you squint your eyes a bit. I do not pass, except maybe to old people once in a while who think I'm a child. In my personal life I do not discuss my gender identity. I'm not out to a single family member and I pushed my mom far enough by getting my hair cut short and buying men's clothes—so I will not be pushing further until I'm out of the house. I wouldn't necessarily be unsafe, but it would ruin every single (already deeply awkward) relationship with every person in my family. I think the stress would finally do me in, and I literally just stopped being suicidal like eight months ago when I started college.

I don't feel like a person, just someone in a state of waiting like I've been in a cocoon my whole life with no end in sight. Starting college was a chance for me to peek out a bit and start to explore something I really couldn't before. For the first time I could actually start to say I'm transmasc.

Hearing someone who I already felt disliked me say "ugh I hate men" spiked my anxiety through the damn roof. I need y'all to understand what that feels like to a trans man, especially one just starting to step out of the closet. I have C-PTSD and severe trust issues to boot, and now I have to decide whether we just don't click as people or if she (a queer woman) just doesn't like me because I'm masc. I've had it happen, it's not an unfounded anxiety spiral.

It's not actively oppressing me for her to say that, but it still hurts. You don't THINK about who you are hurting. It's not Kyle with his MAGA hat and Ford F-150. It's the closeted trans guy who is now deeply wary of you and also overanalyzing everything he does to avoid making you uncomfortable.

I might be taking this discourse a bit personally. I'm aware, despite my brain being a soup of mental illness. It's just strangers on the internet after all, but it does bleed into my own personal life and it's fucking heartbreaking. It really is.

I think some of you forgot that trans men are people. I think some of you have stripped us of our humanity and our lives and the things that we struggle with every day. I'll call it what it is: it's fucking transphobia.

You do not get to enable or enact transphobia on trans men in the name of feminism. We're your fucking allies. Abortion bans and transphobic legislature and abuse in relationships and ostracisation from society and family. We're not a monolithic group of bearded Abercrombie models (not to shame those who are, y'all are great), in fact I think it's fair to say that most trans men are seen as women. A lot of us don't correct people when they assume. To everyone but myself I'm a smartass autistic girl. I have more in common with the incredible Jennifer Coates in her article "I am a trans woman. I am in the closet. I am not coming out" than I do with a cis man.

And I'm sorry but there's very few trans men with ANY social privilege to oppress anyone. To pretend otherwise is to be ignorant of our lives, our history, and us as people who are often in the same situations as trans women. We're seen as women who are "trying to be men" trying to achieve something that even cis men can't get right. We're "dykes" we're "trannies" we're sex perverts and sex workers and faggots and failed daughters who will never do anything right. Budget lesbians, little girls. Cis womanhood and masculinity are things that no trans person can ever achieve. Don't be foolish enough to pretend otherwise.

Trans women you are my allies. My transfem friends are in the same situation as me. Afraid to come out, stuck being yourself only in certain places and struggling with our own cages of oppression.

Lesbians you are my allies. Especially you, butch lesbians. Never good enough, never perfect enough, never what your parents wanted and always questioned about the way you dress or do your hair.

We're not as different as we often think.

Building community and solidarity means listening and understanding sharing experiences that are often so similar.

Communism=community I don't know why SO MANY Marx stans refuse to understand that his views rely on understanding and cooperation between working class people (which is also why I think communism is deeply flawed....i think daddy Karl had a bit too much faith in humanity, but that's another issue)

Separatism is death. I am not kidding. You know what emperor penguins do when Arctic winters get to sub zero temperatures? They huddle together and take turns bearing the brunt of the wind.

Don't fucking buy into separatist bullshit. Find fucking common ground with your allies, talk it through like adults instead of resorting to name calling and hatred.

Any activism worth it's salt must come from a place of love rather than hate. Vitriol solves nothing and y'all are tearing us all apart.

[artsyaech]

... welcome 2 my page or whatevah

[PT: welcome to my page or whatever]

about me:

my name is aech, but you can also call me kandi or io [if you're feeling generous]. full list of names

my pronouns are xae/xaer/xaers/xaerself and it/its/its/itself. [if you use they/them for me, i will bite you ^_^]

i am 17 years old.

i am icelandic with scottish ancestry [i am as white as humanly possible]

i am an alterhuman alien coatimundi frog thing. mostly an alien, tho. ask me about my home planet, i am begging you.

i am a transxenine genderfluid girlboy creature-thing. i'm also a gaybian abrosexual lesboy turigirl faggot, so watch tf out.

this used to be a coining blog, but now it's just my main. might coin some stuff every now and again.

i'm autistic and i have ADHD and a lot of other stuff goin' on.

right now i'd describe myself as a j-fashion-obsessed punkish emo. i dabble in goth music, fashion and culture, but wouldn't really describe myself as such.

tags:

#aech reblogs - reblogs

#aech rambles - textposts and misc ramblings

#aech’s terms - stuff i’ve coined (pride flags and stuff)

#the ghost of queue - queue

#aech’s asks - asks

current obsessions:

musical / fashion subcultures are one of my biggest interests and have been for a damn while now. biggest fixation rn is emo [obviously], scene, goth and j-fashion.

my chemical romance, green day and jack stauber are my biggest music fixations at the moment [although, i'm really fixated on every aspect of jack stauber's work, not just the music]

david tennant and michael sheen [alec hardy is my wife btw]

tags and more info under cut

me because i got the emo freak autism instead of the science or math autism (music section):

killjoy, member of the mcrmy or whatever you wanna call it (i love my chemical romance and would die for ray toro)

my fav genres: 1st wave emo, crunkcore, easycore, emo [duh], emo metal, emo punk, grunge, grungegaze, indie, indie pop, metalcore, midwest emo, new wave, nu metal, pop-punk, punk, queer punk, screamo, shoegaze, "weirdcore" [worst genre name of all time].

emo music is the best and worst genre of all time [emo bands i like]: the academy is..., a day to remember, alkaline trio, brokencyde, dot dot curve, evanescence, fall out boy, green day, mayday parade, my chemical romance, paramore, pierce the veil, taking back sunday, the used.

i also like other music btw: alice in chains, bauhaus, blur, cavetown [saw him nov 2022], faith no more, gorillaz, jack stauber, kittie, lemon demon, siouxsie and the banshees, system of a down

[i’ll probably add more stuff to this long-ass post later, idk]

[ferretzdiary]

Saying I love you to my parents feels so weird. It’s not that I don’t love them- it’s complicated really. I kind of hate them too. They aren’t exactly good people, but they aren’t exactly bad either?

It’s weird to say I love you to people who don’t actually love you. They love the idea of you, what they want of you and expect, and feel the need to love you because you’re their dna, but they don’t love you as you. Other than being white as paper, I’m nearly everything they hate. I’m queer, I’m trans, I’m autistic, I’m alt, I’m a punk, I hate things they worship, I’m a witch, etc. list keeps going.

They don’t like my personality. Over the years I’ve learned I get in trouble with them less if I dull myself down, if everything including my emotions are concealed. This is very difficult for someone who’s autistic, has depression, ptsd, and anxiety that affects my heart; but I have to bottle it of fear if it’s the wrong emotion I’ll get in trouble. Specifically negative ones. Negative ones are usually met with yelling, belittling, scolding, etc. anger. I literally have gotten in trouble for being on high suicide risk. I can’t help that. I wasn’t even honest on most of the questions at the damn hospital because I’m scared of them. When they find out I’m harming myself they get mad at me because I have no reason to be sad, scolding me about how good I have it. I know my life is better than a lot of peoples but that doesn’t make everything magically go away. I don’t understand why they think it does.

Not to mention they’re aware I was raped and beat by my cousin for years. They don’t care, when they found out they said and did nothing, he’s still the family favorite, and the cherry on top is life is going way better for him. He’s got a sweet girlfriend, an apartment, a good paying job, everything. I can’t even get my damn license bc for some reason I’m terrified of cars.

Back to being a faggot; when I was outed (not consensual, I begged not to be because I knew what was to come, I was already struggling to understand what was going on with myself and condemning myself) I came home to being told I’d be hung on our Barb wire fence with allll the other queers if I didn’t by my father (I had just started middle school). No exaggeration. They still tell me I can tell them anything and they don’t care but continue to spit threats, slurs and whatever the fuck else towards the lgbt, a lot of the time it feels aimed at me wether they mean it or not.

I literally have struggled to keep myself together while my heart was giving me trouble because I was so damn terrified they’d be pissed. Unfortunately this is a common occurrence because I literally Tweek out just being in a damn Walmart half the time.

I don’t have friends outside of my phone, the one irl friend I got to see moved to NY, my other one I just never see and is always sick, and everyone else is online. I’d make friends, but my parents kinda prevent that too bc I don’t want them bitching because someone looks a certain way or isn’t white. I literally avoided a black girl I wanted to be friends with because I knew she wouldn’t be safe as my friend. Not to mention I work at my dad’s food truck and other than my house and grandmas that’s all I ever go, I work full time, so how am I meant to even make friends? I’m so isolated, I’m as isolated as I was when my cousin beat me if I talked to other kids, hell I might be MORE isolated now. I’m in a tight box!!

And I’m trapped. I can’t drive, I can hardly cook, I can hardly take care of myself at all, I’m stupid as hell, need help to get through college, etc. I’m stuck. I can’t take this anymore. It’s so fucking hard not to attempt again but I don’t want to let mfs win, I want to survive for my friends, my grandma, and so I can have a future where I die as myself not the stranger I see in the mirror. My self harm has been so bad lately, I keep blanking out and relapsing, I have no one to go to. I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t know what to do. I almost wish I could go back to the hospital and dump everything but I’m turning twenty, what can they fuckin do? Not to mention how badly I want to get my bachelors and become a zoologist, I can’t loose my college opportunity.

[thinkingabout-girls]

Damn. anyways can we turn our attention to why you’re harassing the queer community 🤨📸

my amazing dumb as hell autistic faggot of a husband is finally on tumblr for the first time in god knows how long cause he only shows up every harvest moon or some shit so I’m taking this opportunity to watch him enjoy the many posts I’ve tagged him in/dm-ed to him and also bullying him for loving men <3

[neatfrog]

~Notes~

~occasional 18+ content 🔞🔞

~queer faggot 🌈

~current things I can’t shut the fuck up about: hazbin hotel/helluva boss, fallout, venom (coming soon)

~my art tag here !

~currently taking commissions ✨

~About~

~you can call me kitchie (pronounced like ‘kicsi’ in Hungarian - it’s a joke bc kicsi means small and I’m 4’11”)

~you might have once known me as venomtots

~3 decades alive on this wretched planet

~married to someone I met on tumblr (follow ur dreams, kids)

~I enjoy cats and languages

~I draw (if the brain worms let me), and am capable of writing but haven’t actually done so in years. my white whale is the venom fanfic from 2018 that I still haven’t finished

~I’m autistic and have adhd so if I do something weird pls just blame it on that

~I’m not kidding when I say I’m obsessed with languages, it’s my special interest since I was like 7

~fluent - English and French

~advanced - Hungarian

~also OK - Norwegian, Spanish (Mexico), German, Japanese, Chinese (Mandarin)

~can’t speak/write but can read sorta well enough: Brazilian Portuguese, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Finnish (the only words I know are probably all from Antti Tuisku songs)

.

.

The rest is just my likes and shit, no obligation to read

~Likes~

video games

favs: Fallout, Baldur’s Gate 3, The Outer Worlds, Rule of Rose, Clocktower, ReMothered, Visage, The Evil Within, Resident Evil, the Dark Pictures series - most survival horror/horror in general.

I’ll admit that I often don’t have the patience for the horror games where you have to be all sneaky and try to find things & escape while constantly being chased, but I still really love those kinds of games and wish I had the patience to play them, so I’ll usually just watch a let’s play

I’m also a slut for some Mario Party, and my adhd ass can sit and play shit like Powerwash Simulator or House Flipper for hours

books/comics

horror/thriller/mystery mostly, but if it sounds interesting I’ll read whatever. we have several shelves of Stephen King books

favs: The Walking Dead, Venom, GoT, A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Hollow Kingdom Trilogy, The Hunger Games

I still read manga occasionally (FMA will always be my #1 favorite)

movies

horror (any kind), foreign films, indie, comedy - again, if it sounds interesting and I’m in the mood then anything is cool. if you like horror and haven’t watched any Asian horror films, you definitely should do that

series/franchises that could be releasing their 20-quillionth remake/sequel and I would still be going to see it: saw, the purge, friday the 13th, scream, nightmare on elm st, VHS, Killjoy, Terrifier

ok I’d probably watch any Hunger Games movie too tbh

and literally anything ari aster does, I know that man’s some kinda fucked up but damn does he make some Movies

also Tubi has some really awesome shit on there, definitely worth checking out

I found Liza a rókatündér (Liza the Fox Fairy) on there and it’s now one of my all-time favorite movies

tv shows

favs: Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Fallout, The Walking Dead, The Boys/Gen V, IWTV, Resident Alien, Hannibal, Ted Lasso, Disenchantment, Paradise PD/Farzar, WWDITS, GoT (minus s8), Supernatural (stopped around s14 and then they did That Thing at the end so it’s more of an old fav now)

I love Scandinavian crime thrillers/dramas 🤣

when starting a series it’s honestly whatever my spouse and I decide we feel like watching at the time. I usually prefer comedy or horror, but we’ve been known to watch other things

I’ll admit I’m also a sucker for crime shows like CSI, I had season 3 on dvd as a kid and rewatched it all the time. I used to watch it and Criminal Minds with my parents so it’s kind of nostalgic cause it’s like one of the few things we all did together

(I used to be into anime but I haven’t really been feeling it for a while. My first anime was InuYasha (still holds a special place in my heart). My all-time favorite is Fullmetal Alchemist, and I enjoyed Death Note and JJBA a feral normal amount. Black Butler was also 👌🏻 and I still need to finish the manga)

music

90% of the music I listen to isn’t in English. I don’t really need to understand the lyrics, I just like how it sounds. It does end up being funny sometimes though when you find out you’ve been bopping it to a song that’s repeatedly calling someone’s mom a whore

Most Listened: Antti Tuisku, Apulanta, Evelina, Szakács Gergő, ByeAlex, Intim Torna Illegál, Leander Kills, Dubioza, KYO, Stromae, Siri Nilsen - etc (Linkin Park is still an all-time favorite as far as American music goes)

I admit I’ve been obsessed with the hazbin hotel soundtrack lately

ok I won’t say no to the occasional k-pop or j-rock song (I used to be Obsessed lol)

that said I’ll listen to literally anything if it sounds good (nice beats make brain go brrr). only genre I actively dislike is post-9/11 country music

~Dislikes~

spiders (i’m sorry lil dudes ur rly cool y’all just irrationally scare me), making phone calls, unwarranted rudeness

[syssyadmin]

first day of my office position at the same workplace and already ppl are complaining to me about having to share the office with the [passy, extremely sweet, 6years seniority on anyone else there] autistic tranny, who is my friend that got me to work there in the first place, which most ppl on my team have heard before. like god damn yall don't realize how violently negatively you're signalling, practically shooting microaggressions at me when like. I'm sitting there in the twompax trans hardcore shirt and my backwards skate hat and impeccable style (read: faggot appearance) with my stiletto nails and week-old stubble like. u are all going to hate me so much more 😭😭 deal with it!! i donot care 💅

[charswithbatsmybeloved]

Made the mistake of going onto tiktok for too long and the censorship is literally some of the worst shit I've ever seen, so here's a list of words they censor and I want to say them because language deserves to be used even when it makes others uncomfortable sometimes and the algorithm there doesn't like it.

So list of words without any detail from here:

Autistic

Die

Cry

Throw up

Rape

Sexual assault

Mental illness

Self harm

Neurodivergent

ADHD

Anxiety

Grooming

Age gaps

Fuck

Hell

Pussy

Depression

Bipolar

Damn

Bible

Terf

War

Trans

Boobs

Guns

Knife

Sword

Lesbian

Queer

Faggot

School

Furry

Archive of our own

Sex

Sexual attraction

Hot

Anime

Cunt

[losergendered]

Phew! Took me almost a week and a half to organize this request on my Google doc cuz it was so damn long and I had to pick out the numerous genders for these slashers. Was having a bit of a slasher autism moment (specifically for Ghostface ngl, he silly + is a huge hoe /silly). Also figured I share my ghostface solo polycule + slasher family au kinda thing (if anything, the dynamic would be like the YT channel "TheMerkins" cuz they infamous parodies of slashers and do song covers whilst being said slashers, lol)

*to the begendered-queer audience* also, yes, I am fully aware Tara ISN'T neither Billy nor Stu's ACTUAL bio child in the Scream franchise. But again, au's and other hc shit bc why the fuck not?? lmao. But I mostly decided to keep Sam as Bill and Christina's child cuz I thought "what if Stu and Billy were separated/broke-up for a bit, billy lived w/ Christina as platonic t4t fuckbuds for a bit during their break-up, bill winds up pregnant w/ christina's child (sam) that resulted into bill and stu getting back together again to raise Sam and stuart macher being a dad to the child that isn't biologically his but doesn't give a fuck since he still loves bill's daughter no matter what.(?)" Plus I'm planning to make one of those "family tree" things n whatnot that showcase how the slasher family works, but I figured you would get the jist of it thru this hc request of mine /silly

Also, yes, I am implying freak4loser married stuilly cuz yees. (Not) my bad for the rambles cuz my BPD ass just wants to hyperfixate dump on ya (joke)

Billy Loomis/Ghostface from Scream is a transsexual, trans/ftm, dbdghostfacecharic, Ghostfacelovesick, envighoface, deepriftghostfacic, bleedingghostfacic, rainingbloodghostfacic, prestighostfacic, monochroghostfacic, brushunterghostfacic, Forestghostfaceic, Ghostfacestalker, slasheric, horrorcoric, DDDEtagged, knifegender, yanderegender, yanderecoric, NPDtoxic, narclexic, LOViRiUM, Narcboy, Borderlineboy, FOUNDFOOTAGEHORRORIC, boyfreak, mascfreak, genderfreak, knifeinlyrica, numbersupica, bpdboyfreak, Vindium, vintaudio, Turigirlfuckoff, Genderwhore, genderslut, tranny, fag, polyam, eros veldifem/turifem, eros veldigirl/turigirl, turigirl, turifem, veldihet, genderfuck, queerfuck, nonbinary, genderfluid, and agender. He doesn’t care about pronouns. Billy is autistic, psychotic, borderline, narcissistic, and hypersexual. He is married to Stu Macher.

Stu Macher is an auDHD, bipolar, narcissist with HPD, psychosis and ASPD. He is also (yes, I am referencing his actor from the FNAF movie as a joke and also cuz I am finding it hilarious) FNAFgender, Fnafmovieic, FNAFhyperfixic, SPINGLOCKSUITGENDER, Burntrapcharic, WilliamAftoncharic, Fnafascic, Springlockedgender, slasheric, Aftaesic,purplegender, PANLosin, boyloser, mascloser, Losearchetropic, genderloser, a faggot, and a gay man. He mostly uses he/him and they/them pronouns. Stu is Billy’s husband.

Billy and Christina’s daughter, Samantha Carpenter, who Stu adopted as his own child, is a finalgirlic, Finalgirlloser, genderloser, aroace, demigirl, transmasc. She also goes by the name “Sam” and uses she/him and has CPTSD.

Stu and Billy’s biological daughter and Samantha’s young half-sister, Tara Carpenter, who also goes by the last name Loomis-Macher, is a masc, genderfreak, transmasc, trans girl, transsexual, dyke, tranny, transmasc girl, azurboy, azurgirl, finalboyic, finalgirlic, aromantic, lesboy who is autistic, bipolar, and borderline. They use they/it/zhe and is Christina’s adopted daughter.

Sidney Prescott, who is Christina’s wife and stepmom/adopted mom to Sam and Tara, is a finalgirlic lesbian. 

Billy, Stu, Christina and Sidney share joint custody of Sam and Tara.

Ghostface’s partner, Jason Voorhees from Friday The 13th, is a nonverbal, neurodivergent, antisocial, slasheric, forestcoric, cabincoric, Fri13ThCalendic, thankfridica, camprilvozmasc(uline), queer man with PTSD and DPD. He is Carrie White’s adopted dad/stepdad. 

Jason’s mom, Pamela Voorhees, is a straight, caedasexual woman with PTSD. She is the adopted grandmother/step-grandmother of Carrie White.

Carrie White from Carrie, who took the last name Voorhees after she was adopted by Jason and Pamela, is a thistle femme, bloodgender, bloodcoric, gendertraumatized, traumacoric, Traumavesi, Religiousrecovertraumatic, Recovertraumic, Sunrisetraumix, Teremuskin, caebagirl, traumagender, bastardcoric, rotcoric, transneutral, trans lesbian with PTSD, religious trauma, BPD, AvPD and is autistic. 

Carrie’s girlfriend, Sue Snell (prefer the 2002 “Carrie” version of her), is a femme lesbian with PTSD. Sue’s best friend/QPP is Tommy Ross (1976 version) is a transmasc, AFAB, nonbinary, arospec, ambiamorous, gay (blue/green). 

Leatherface/Bubba Sawyer from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an aroace, cannibalcoric, demiboy, fleshcoric, savagesica, fleshian, meatgender, and xenogender. Bubba is a medium-support needs autistic, bipolar, and is canonically mentally disabled. He is the adoptive son of Pamela Voorhees, along with being an adoptive brother of Jason Voorhees and step-uncle to Carrie. 

Additionally, Carrie views her adoptive stepdad’s partner, Billy/Ghostface, to be her stepmom and Sam and Tara as her stepsisters/friends.

Billy’s other partner, Michael Myers from Halloween, is a halloweencoric, Hallofrilled, Candybowlic, AlderHalloween, Halloweenthing, JACKOLANTERNGENDER, Hallopassic, Cauldruttic, Hallocandyic, TRICK'O'TREATLEXIC, Halloweenmovic, slasheric, maskgender, stabdarkica, queer, MLM man who is neurodivergent, a selective mute, has ASPD, AvPD, and low empathy.

Ghostface’s third partner, Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare On Elm Street, is a bisexual, uranic, man-pref bi, masc-pref bi, bi gay man (neopronouns flag), faggot, bi fag, toro, genderfuckoff, genderbitch/bitchgender, lexeprofane, lexebitchic, bi gay man fuckoff, uranicfuckoff, bifuckoff, firegender, amenightmerica, nightmacoric, aldernic man with POCD, chronic pain, Tourette’s, bipolar, and ASPD with tics from his Tourette’s. 

Freddy’s daughter, Kathryn Krueger, who also goes by her adopted name Maggie Burroughs, is a lesbian neptunic woman with insomnia and MDD (the maladaptive daydreaming acronym, not the major depressive one). She is an elder step-sister of Tara, Sam, and Carrie.

Ghostface’s fourth partner, Hannibal Lecter from Silence of The Lambs, is an autistic, low empathetic person with ASPD and BPD. He is cannibalcoric, meatgender, cannibagorix, fleshcoric, gurocoric, gorecoric, maskegnder, fleshian, cannibalcute, gendercannibal, cannilovic, ToothyGoreCannic, Invicorpse, cannijokic, autophagyn, Knostkrev, canfinorric, cannibex, monopoly gay man with cannteros attraction. He uses he/they/gore pronouns. 

Ghostface’s final partner, Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, is a neurodivergent. nonverbal, Angedien, Genderdeity, wargod, wardeity, wargoddex, Aldersopordeus, deathgod, deathdeity, deathgoddex, Deitrayal, Deurseity, Duopurdeic, Godsmercyquoteic, LiminialDeitic, Duodeic, Alderauradeus, Pickagodquoteic, Occudeic, RageUndeaDeitic, Justicedeic, Tobecomegodquoteic, DEIBROKEFURIC, kenochoric, slasheric, godgender, deitykin, alterhuman, nonhuman, menschaeus, lancian, jamian, Reilian, and rivean. It goes by it/its and all masculine pronouns.

They are all a blended family.

posted! this was so much fun btw

[trans-wojak]

1. Stop calling LGBT people “queer” as a collective. It’s rude, not all of us want to be seen as freaks like you. Some of us have actually had our teeth kicked in while having that screamed at us. You wouldn’t call the gay men community the “faggot community” nor would you ever call the autistic community “the retard community” so stop it. Reclaiming a slur is individual, not collective.

2. I am 30 years old, I know damn well that trans spaces are taken over by trenders because I actually leave the house unlike y’all and have gone to them. I watched the shift go from focus on transsexual issues to now entertaining attention seeking little girls and the odd male transvestite fetishist. They would have been removed years ago, now transsexual men like me are kicked out.

3. Accessing medical transition aid is not hard at all where I live, you can access HRT with informed consent and pay as low as $6. These women who present female with their tits hanging out and love being female literally say they have no dysphoria, have no desire to change their sex and talk over actual transsexual men like me and throw tantrums when I point out they live as a cis woman regardless of their invisible identity that requires no actions.

4. I don’t owe you a debate. This is a year old post and you are a inclus frequenting our tags, i do not owe you my energy; in fact I’m just making fun of you. You won’t change my mind and I won’t change yours so the only thing left is to point out you’re probably just a fujoshi who’s triggered.

5. Go outside and talk to someone who isn’t below 25 and on tiktok.

I swear to fucking god, do people even listen to themselves these days? Another stupid girl posting on Facebook that she’s supposedly “agender” but ain’t ever going to inform her parents about her precious gender identity because they won’t understand. That she will die without them ever knowing.

Do you know how privileged that is? Literally, your parents won’t even give a fuck. Why? Because you aren’t actually going to transition. Do you know what happens to ACTUAL transsexuals? We get kicked out of home, we get abused, our parents disown us. I was NOT put in conversion therapy and pushed back into the closet for fucking 9 years then made homeless just so some stupid girls can think “oh but I don’t feel like a girl, I’m fine with my sex tho” is on the same level as me.

My parents originally fucking were horrible to me, they put me in conversion therapy and you what that lead to? Me having such low self esteem that I believed being abused was normal, so normal that I got into a domestic violent relationship that lasted for 9 years. Conversion therapy actively encourages you to consider suicide as an option if you can’t live as your assigned sex. They break down your spirit, they basically try to convince you that you’re delusional. Leaving him meant I was left with NOTHING but not only that, I had already started testosterone and the changes were beginning to get too obvious for my dad to ignore. He literally made me homeless cause he refused to have me live with him until I could get my own place. Because now I wasn’t just looking like a dyke, I was now showing signs of true transsexuality.

Both my parents are better now, they have a lot of regret about treating me so poorly over my gender dysphoria - but they are not perfect. My mum will still run away and hide from people who knew me prior to my transition if I’m with her because she doesn’t want to defend me if they are nasty when they realise it’s [deadname] as a man now. My dad still uses she/her pronouns for me even though it makes people think he has dementia lol. He constantly thinks I’m going to kill myself because I will eventually regret my transition. He also thinks everyone can always tell that I’m trans even though I’m stealth in real life. He lets it slip that he thinks I will never find a partner, constantly tells my mum that he wishes I “just stayed as a lesbian butch woman**”. My mum thinks [deadname] and Mike are two different people, she thinks she lost a daughter, but gained a son even though I am the same person. She has said before that I killed her first daughter when we have arguments.

I am so sick of this non binary craze bullshit. Y’all don’t understand that transsexuals do not get the same benefits you do, you can hide being “trans.” You can put on your they/them pins at LGBTIBBQ meet ups but take them off to go back to your cis life. I cannot. My life is forever shaped by this bullshit, I am struggling so hard to change my name legally so EVERY TIME I do anything that requires that nonsense - people treat me like fucking shit. Cause they see a bloke in front of them but a legal female name, they know. Nurses are absolute trash to me if I ever go to the hospital because of my legal name. They use he/him until they see the paper work then do a condescending smile and use my deadname, she/her etc. Its rare that I have a decent nurse or doctor who ACTUALLY continues to treat me correctly.

Your non binary identity is based all on fucking sexist gender roles and without those, you wouldn’t have an identity. Mine is based on the fact my brain sex is male but my body was born female and I’m actively changing that to male.

We are not the same.

[foulserpent]

not to be "both sides"ing but actually yes both sides of the online "debate" over the word queer are so fucking pointless. its all just about performing moral outrage over the fact that a word is complex and multifaceted, just picking one facet of the word as your hill to die on.

like no, person who regularly calls people faggots online, i actually dont believe your pearl clutching when someone says "queer" is genuine, given that same degree of hallowed and solemn treatment doesnt seem to apply to slurs you feel comfortable reclaiming personally. you and i both know that some people saying "the queer community" (though it may be inappropriate and should probably not be treated as something that should be universally done) is not in any capacity equivalent to a nightmare situation you imagined where people start calling autistic ppl the "[r slur] community" (real take i have actually seen)

no, person who acts like they got spat on when ppl tag their posts with "q slur", i know damn well its solely a matter of performance and in any other situation youd accommodate (because you do in fact understand that something that isnt traumatic to you may be to someone else). no, person who goes "well 'gay'/'lesbian'/etc are slurs/derogatory, actually, so....", i know you dont actually believe this (especially given you arent gonna behave accordingly, obviously) and are fully capable of understanding the difference. you are not stupid

like literaly just accept that "word with a lengthy history in activism that is widely used in a reclaimed sense and as a powerful identifier to many people and should be recognized as such" and "word that was and is used as a slur, and may entirely lack positive connotations in certain regions or to certain demographics and should be treated as such" are both true and behave accordingly. its something that will always need to be discussed bc theres no perfect compromise for all facets of the word, but can and should be done with understanding and respect. thats it. can we please fucking move on

[joshu--washu]

Dear heartshapedcreaturefrom////toon,

alright so about my last post 

this is what i got from a deleted post made by @heartshapedcreaturefromc///toon . (the url has a short version of the c slur in it, ends with p. go there at your own discretion but i would highly recommend you do so.) 

you know damn well what i’m talking about as your reblogs are still up on my page for people to see. and you called my autism non-existent from what i can tell. which, ironically, makes you ableist. you advocate for hating abled people, specifically ones who don’t use wheelchairs, but you go out of your way to say that my disability is fake. your hypocrisy.. amuses me. and nice try using “jushu” as a name for me to indicate you don’t understand, despite tagging the post with my url spelled correctly. your old post reeks.

and not only does it reek, it’s even more ableist than i thought it was at first. i just looked at the tags. now you hate autistic mentally ill able bodied people now? again i understand the able bodied stuff but like. you’re more ableist than my irls. and if you knew my irls, they are quite ableist. and able bodied. and white. and cishet. and neurotypical. all the bad things and somehow you’re worse? i haven’t said anything legit offensive to you and you fucking start to hate on me, say you hate autistics and think my disability isn’t real, then delete the post because you probably think i’m stupid enough to not find out it existed. tumblr didn’t work in your favor big guy. at this point, just put “dni if you aren’t visibly disabled” in your fucking page. do it. i dare you. you obviously want to so just do it. you fucking wimp. 

also “balls boy...” im 15. and now.. someone is saying you have said the r slur without being mentally disabled. wowza. just wow. it’s getting worse as i’m writing. holy shit. also. the f slur is faggot. you retard. there. i did it. the gay autistic man said faggot and retard. what an ableist fuck. wow.

i granted your wish. i called you a retard. are you happy? are you satisfied?

do you feel silly? do you feel stupid? do you feel.. a little ashamed? 

and wow, you’ve also said the f slur despite being transfemme nb.. it’s just getting worse. and worse. and worse. and worse. 

and then you call me baby hitler... i am also jewish. i am literally jewish. and you said my pfp causes epilepsy when actual things with epilepsy warnings would usually be eyestrain. well i can tell you now.. your blog sure is straining my eyes. and then.. when did i even SPEAK about eugenics here.

and you insult minors too, yet you use freak/frick in place of fuck.. do you kin badboyhalo. do you factkin badboyhalo. do you watch badboyhalo and think you’re so pure and then call a jew “baby hitler.” you say the f slur despite being transfemme. you say the r slur despite being mentally well off when it comes to disabilities. how bad do you get. jeez. go to 4chan. 

the christian bible joke was that.. a joke.. about you.. being non jewish.. and writing a long post about why you’re right.

NOW i’m being shown you think agere is sexual. it’s a trauma coping mechanism. oh my god. you just. you. i. you. you. youu. YOU. I AGE REGRESS SOMETIMES. no one KNOWS about it until now but I DO IT SOMETIMES.

OH WAIT.. YOU DIDNT EVEN DELETE THE POST. TUMBLR JUST HATES ME TOO!! LIVE POSTING AM I RIGHT BOYS? 

I NEVER SAID I HATE ABLE BODIED PEOPLE.. I SAID I UNDERSTAND IT. YOU CAN READ, RIGHT? AND TOO BAD. AGAIN I AM 15 COMING UP ON 16. I AM 10 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU. AND YOU ARE LEGIT SAYING SLURS THAT I CAN SAY BUT YOU CAN’T. THIS IS AN AGGRAVATION, YOU MORON. I DID NOT MAKE A LEGIT AGGRAVATION TO YOU UNTIL THIS. and hey, if YOU can bring up able bodied people, I CAN bring up what i would like to as well. i never said i was REMOTELY like you. i don’t WANT to be. and i KNOW they are 18/19. but do you know something about 18/19 year olds? they are still quite new to being an adult. but YOU? YOU ARE 26. 

YOU ARE SAYING SLURS AS AN AGGRAVATION ON A CALLOUT POST MEANT FOR A CHILD YOU ARE HARASSING. YOU ARE CALLING A CHILD BABY HITLER AND SAYING THAT IT SAID THINGS THAT IT DID NOT SAY. YOU ARE FUCKING SCUM. 

and .. you call yourself a punk. THIS IS NOT PUNK. DON’T DISGRACE ACTUAL PUNKS. ACTUAL PUNKS WOULD PROBABLY KILL YOU IF THEY KNEW ABOUT THIS. 

and just so you and your -1 people following know, this isn’t motivated by your physical disability, by your identity, by anything. you are just a horrible person. acting so high and mighty when you’re just being an asshole to like.. everyone. 

and if you DO have cerebral palsy, i’m not sure because you just posted a definition of it with no other clear contexts.. my apologies for calling you the r slur. you suck but i’m not gonna be called ableist because i was unsure of you. i’m not that kind of asshole.  

anyways “heart shaped creature,” for your shape you seem to not even remotely be a loving and caring individual. go eat some coyote shit and act your age. 

[xfirecorex]

Brony retrospective

For a brief period in the early 2010s My Little Pony Friendship is Magic ended sexism; tons of guys were getting into the show after seeing how good it was and they didn’t care that it was girly.

For many of them it was the first time in their lives that they had enthusiastically enjoyed something that wasn’t made for them and discovered that hey, maybe female-oriented media isn’t bad. It was just so wholesome and positive.

But of course, it didn’t last. Eventually the fandom developed a reputation for being perverted and “cringy”, some legit creeps did come in as well as people who forgot the original intent of the fandom and thought “it’s not really for girls it’s for us adults because it’s too good to be for them“.

And that’s a damn shame because the Bronies are one of the most talented and productive fanbases I’ve ever seen; so much fanart, fanfic, fangames, music, crafts, etc. I am blown away by all the stuff they’ve done.

Nowadays fandoms are so hostile and divided that something like bronies could probably never happen again.

When Equestria daily launched a Steven Universe spin-off fansite there was a massive amount of backlash from tumblrites who didn’t want “those creepy men” in their fandom, and I’ve seen many people say “thank god dudes don’t like the new She-Ra”.

To be happy that a certain group of people don’t like a show is so messed up to me, fuck exclusion. Tumblr keeps saying that men need to get in touch with their feminine side and let go of rigid gender stereotypes, yet the second they do they still get shamed for it.

What happened to the MLP FiM fandom was honestly sad. A group of men were earnestly honestly and positively enjoying something, but they got called creepy perverted autistic faggots just for expressing themselves.

[barkphomet]

TIPSY OC RAMBLES AB KIT

man im using kit to explore A LOT of shit

tbh he’s a semi self-insert with the things im using him to explore. he’s a vulture boy - he’s sort of an OC manifestation of my own vulture shit - so partially he’s somewhere to dump my misc “yeah i tried to scrape a flesh pancake from the pavement earlier cus his had an intact head but i got maggots in my shoes lol” experiences

and also. ALSO. HE’S A STUPID TRANS BOY who isn’t actually insecure ab it, bc yeah he’s quiet and seems a lil shy and insecure but he actually just doesn’t give a fuck about you or anyone else, not just some pretentious bullshit but legitimate NO FUCKS GIVEN. and his trans shit is partially based on my own, and partially based on some shit a trans friend told me ab how he always questioned why trans shit mattered and how any of this is legitimate if gender roles don’t fucking matter. stupid toxic masculinity and a lot of things to stem from that - but no one ever gave him an actual answer and tbh im kinda dancing with that in kit. what place has our trans shit without gender roles. what actual bullshit is this nonsense 

aaaand he’s a fucking exploration of me finding out at 20 damn years old that im probably autistic lmao. he’s an exploration of getting overstimmed by the stupidest shit and having to stick my hand in a pile of maggots to calm down despite a little bit of water making me feel every microscopic ridge in my fingers. he’s my inability to fucking read people. every stupid autistic detail. self dissection? why not just. develop it into an oc instead.

kit has layers and he thinks he doesn’t care. he thinks he knows himself, and that the world doesn’t matter and he doesn’t matter and he just needs the present world to stabilize himself, and it doesn’t fucking matter as long as he can cling to some bullshit excuse to continuous existence. but. you know what. this fucker CARES and boy does he have some buried existential crisis in that stupid unfashionable jacket. you hear that kit. ya hear that. you don’t know why you exist and you’re terrified you might be correct that there’s no purpose to any of this, and even more than that you’re about to shit absolute bricks at the repressed realization of how controlled you are by norms and society and everyone around you.

fe, bitch. you have it. have fun being a faggot ESTP. how does that tert fe feel motherfucker

he doesn’t know if there’s anything at his core. he pretends he knows all his layers, and he pretends he’s repressing knowledge of layers even below those. but are there layers at all? is he just empty at his core, some fucked up caricature of a human being that’s carrying on but in denial about the insignificance of its own void? he’s scared, my dude. he’s terrified and does everything he can to avoid it. 593 lmao

god. jesus. the savior. he’s seen it. he’s seen it reflected in the tv and internet and every screen on fucking earth, he’s seen the face of god in the news and he knows we’re all fucked and he sees it too in the maggots and bugs and every goddamn insect he swallows. he devours the poor man’s jesus and vomits it out in the same sentence, and repeats it day after day in a ritual of repetition to stave away the realizations.

so then tell me, kit, what are you going to do about it? probably nothing you avoidant fuck. other characters always think he’s non-avoidant but no..... my dude.... how the fuck are you so misinformed this guy is the definition of avoidance

he is, of course, the flesh of god. he is fated to mutation and by every eldritch fucker in existence is he gonna be torn into what they want. so he’s got a choice - are you going to rip yourself apart into a shape you desire, or let someone do it for you? the mutilation is inevitable, so better take it into your own hands.

[queennicoleinboots]

Joebear Laughs While Peter Beats The Shit Out of His Computer

A/N: Jokes against gay people, a lot of rage, computer destruction, lots of swearing, also written February 26, 2019 (going back in time and describing why Peter has bad luck with anything technological)

TL;DR: Joebear and I Laugh Hysterically while Peter literally beats the shit out of his computer in the front yard.

As I was cleaning Peter's house as usual, I heard him swearing at his computer as he has been for the past month now. I was on the phone with my husband, Joebear, and we were laughing our asses off. Joebear could barely breathe. He was using his high-pitched quick laugh as he was crying. I had the phone on speaker while we listened to Peter swear at his computer.

"Goddammit. Why the fuck won't this damn attachment send over? The fuck is wrong with this E-mail?!" Peter would yell.

Joebear and I couldn't help but crack up at him. My lungs were worn out from all the laughing at him I have done for the past two years.

Joebear commented with a laugh, "He sounds like he has a mentally-challenged computer and needs help with his brain."

Peter yelled to Joebear. "All true! This is bullshit!"

We cracked up and then continued on with our day. Joebear was playing "Hobos and Dawgs" by our favorite nerd rap artist, DarthSydePhineas.

"Damn! Damn! DamnDamnDamn! Hobos and Dawgs! Damn! Damn! DamnDamnDamn! Hobos and Dawgs! I need a hobo or a dawg, not you. Then I can go back to class! I need pictures! Where the fuck are they? I need to find a hobo or a dog. I need to find a hobo or a dog. This is bullshit! This is bullshit!" I rapped along.

"Fucking hell. If you are going to make technology, at least make it work correctly. What the fuck is the point?" Peter would continually rant at least 15 times a day. I laughed every time without fail. Godiva would just roll her eyes and ignore the bullshit in her son's office. Jamie would interrupt him from his swearing to do more random chores. Interruptions did not help Peter's already fucked-up mood.

Other times, Joe and I would sing along to DarthSydePhineas's "I AM FUCKING SONIC!" while Peter would be doing chores, and I would clean his house.

"I am fucking Sonic. And you can't fuck with me now. I am a fucking hedgehog! And I have spikes on my back! Oh shit!" Joebear and I would sing.

"Okay. I tried to send this fucker three times. Let me break this file down... AGAIN!!! SIIIIIIGHH!!!" Peter would say at least five times a day. The poor bastard just wanted to publish his novels and send them to every literary agent in the world. Whenever he said this rant, I was on the floor laughing every time while Joebear would try to help him break the file down. Joebear was a computer whiz. Peter was technologically-challenged. Joebear and I had a good laugh. Peter was pissed.

"Yes. I typed Artie Wonderbloom and The Green Goblin and Artie Wonderbloom and The Yellow Brick Road at least 20 times today. The fuck else did I write that I am trying to publish? I already published 20 screenplays. Let's move on with my life PLEASE!!!! SIGH! Fuck off. Where is the auto fill?" Peter would rant. "I published 20 screenplays and am trying to publish two novels. Why the fuck am I still doing DRYWALL? Because of the ever-failing healthcare AND insurance system in America and INFLATION! Fuck this world!" This rant happened at least once a day. This rant also made Joebear and me belly-laugh without sound. "Unbelievable. I was a porn star in my time. I wrote screen plays. I am writing two novels. Blood, sweat, and tears. Lots and lots of tears! Why the ACTUAL fuck am I broke? Because America. Because Republicans! Fuck. My. Life."

Joebear and I would cry laughing at this particular rant. We agreed. It was bullshit that even if you made over $50,000 a year, you were still fucking broke. That's why Joebear and I do our own business. We hate answering to people for no apparent reason.

Today, we felt more sympathetic for our tall, technologically-challenged friend than we usually did. I went over to poke him on the shoulder repeatedly. The poor bastard looked like he was about to cry.

"I have tried three times. Three fucking times. To format this goddamn E-mail correctly. These literary agents are pretentious, picky, self-centered pieces of dog shit. They have so so many fucking rules. It's their way or fuck you. Sigh. I should have been a literary agent. It would definitely help me make more money. If I knew how to be a literary agent, I'd do it. It would also relieve frustration, stress, and anxiety to tell other writers to fuck off if they so much as miss a comma! Fuck. These. Goddamn. People. I want to E-mail them and tell them exactly what the fuck I think!" Peter ranted with his trademark sigh.

Joebear and I laughed again.

"You need a new E-mail client. Comcrap is a piece of dog shit. Also, you do have a knack for missing commas. Your writing is amazing, but you forget commas like you forget everything else. Your memory sucks ass," I said.

"He uses Comcrap? No wonder!" Joebear chimed in.

"I know it!" Peter said as he accented his Southern accent. "You guys use G-mail, right?"

"Yes. XaraNCampanelli@gmail.com," I answered.

"How the fuck do you set up a G-mail account?" he asked.

Joebear sighed. "Xara. Help him please. I'm going to have a bowel movement now. I shall return," he said.

"Enjoy thy shit," I said to Joebear before I answered Peter. "Go to www.gmail.com."

He was typing the address into the Google search engine.

"Okay. Go to G-mail.com," I said.

He clicked the link.

"Now go to 'create account'," I said.

Peter clicked the link. "So I just fill this shit out, right?"

"Yes, Pete," I said.

He put his first name as Peter and last name as Awkward. G-mail suggested that his E-mail be PeterAwkward8@gmail.com.

"Sounds about right. You act like an eight-year-old," I said with a shrug.

"Works for me," he said with a grin. He now had an E-mail address of PeterAwkward8@gmail.com. His other one was SuperCopingMan@comcrap.net. He was also a super hero until last year when he had a mental breakdown and didn't feel like coping with being stuck in drywall, exploding cars, toilet gardens, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, naked neighbors, or birthday parties that went to shit because someone forgot the alcohol.

We continued to set up his G-mail account until he asked me what theme I thought he liked. I was sorry to say, but there was a serene purple scene with lilies in the background that I knew he liked. But it was too feminine. I saw Peter as a manly boy, a guy who liked trees, leaves, and old houses built in the 1800s. I was not going to stand for him to pick something so feminine. I guessed the leaf theme.

"Ugh. No. Too typical. Try again," he said.

"How about the woods?" I asked.

"Oh God. Everyone picks that!" Peter exclaimed.

"I don't. I made a custom black, purple, and white theme to describe my dark nature," I said.

He blinked and made a "taken-aback" face with an added shudder. "Well, I like the black theme, too, but that's too obvious," he said.

"How about the rainbow-colored fish one?" I asked.

"Okay. Stop picking what I *should* like and pick what I *know* I like," Peter said.

I sighed. "Peter, don't pick that purple one..." I said.

Joebear returned to the phone after a quick bowel movement. "So where are we in setting up the E-mail?" he asked.

"Peter picked a purple theme for his new G-mail account," I said.

"You know it!" Peter said with a smile.

"Peter, that's gay," I said.

"Oh my God. That's a faggot thing to do," Joebear said with a laugh.

"What? I like purple. And as I recall, Joebear, you like purple, too," he said as he picked the purple theme.

"Yeah, but I don't pick an overly purple theme! I'm not a faggot" he said.

Peter snickered. "Are you sure about that?" he asked.

"Yeah, dude. I'm pretty sure I'm not gay," Joebear said with an added "durrr!" at the end.

"Well, you liked purple, and you called me a faggot, so I had to ask," Peter responded.

"Oh God, Peter," I said and laughed. I went back to work for a bit to try to stop laughing at Peter. "You're such a girl!!!! You know what? I'm going to go ahead and buy you some eyeliner and lipstick. And maybe some new skinny jeans!"

Joebear and I cracked up at my remark. Peter snarled at us and continued to work on his computer.

"That's so gay," Joebear said and laughed. "Please don't do that seriously."

"I might," I said.

"Oh God! I'm done! Call me when something stupid happens!" Joebear said.

"Will do. Love you, bae!" I sang.

"Love you, too," he said as he made a dolphin sound.

I made a dolphin sound in return. He hung up the phone.

A few minutes later, I heard a few autistic growls emanating from Peter. He had Asperger's Syndrome, but no one told him yet. I laughed. His mom couldn't help but giggle and shake her head. She was so done with his shit that day. I could tell.

I called Joebear.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Bae, something stupid happened," I said.

"What now?" he asked.

"I don't know," I said as I put my phone on speaker. "I'Il find out." I went over to Peter and patted his shoulder.

"I tried to send this E-mail three goddamn times! Three! Now four! Christ, I can't count!" Peter said as he growled.

"Oh God!" Joebear said as he giggled.

"Maybe you put in the wrong E-mail address," I said.

"Maybe the first time, but I double-checked the website and double-checked my clipboard and everything was fine," he said loudly.

"Maybe the website had the wrong E-mail address," I said.

"No! I went to Donald K. Fulton's WEBSITE ITSELF. That's the literary agent! I took the damn E-mail straight from the damn website and copied it into the damn recipient's box on the goddamn E-mail!" Peter said as he started foaming at the mouth.

"Donald K. Fulton sounds like a faggot's name," Joebear said.

"It is. This guy is a *real* faggot. I hope this faggot accepts my story," Peter said.

The tune, "I Spawn, I Die," by DarthSydePhineas was in the background.

"Dude, have you ever thought that maybe you're just bad with computers?" I said humorously to Peter.

"Not only that, BUT I'M CURSED!!!!!!" Peter yelled as he grabbed his monitor by the sides and stared intently at it with rage. Then he calmed down just for a moment and smiled. "Sometimes these websites just aren't designed very well!"

I laughed. "Because they were designed by Americans."

"Yeah, Americans can't program worth a shit," Joebear added before he sung a mock version of 'I Spawn, I Die.' "They spawn, they die. They spawn, they die. Every mother fucker has stupid E-mails. Every mother fucker has stupid E-mails. D-D-D-D-D-Dumbasses! D-D-D-D-D-Dumbasses!"

"Oh God! Everything with you guys is racist!" Peter said as he rolled his eyes. "How do you refresh the page?"

"Press F5 on the top of your keyboard, you Old Fuck," I said with a giggle.

Joebear snickered at me. "WOW!" he said with a high-pitched quick laugh.

Peter was 54. I was 30. Joebear was 39. And Peter was bad with computers. I was going to call Peter an Old Fuck.

"The fuck did you just call me?" Peter asked as he pressed F5 and turned his face toward me.

"An Old Fuck. You're 54 and are terrible with computers!" I yelled.

"Oh fuck off. You're as bad as these terribly CONFIGURATED web sites!" he said as he flicked me off.

"If we were in Korea, our websites wouldn't be fucked up," Joebear said. "Americans are just STUPID with programming. You need help, Peter?"

"Yes," he answered. "But not before I beat this computer into submission. I haven't tried that yet!" All of a sudden, Peter rose and punched his monitor in the face. "How do you like that?" He kicked the computer desk. "That's what I think of you, you piece of shit!"

Joebear and I cracked up.

"Really? You beat the computer? How is that going to help?" Joebear said as he cracked up. "Oh God."

"This computer cannot be helped," Peter said before he turned off his tablet kindly. He then opened his window. He turned off the computer. "Thank God I backed up all my shit up on a hard drive. Thank you, Joebear."

"You're welcome. What were you trying to do?" Joebear asked with a chuckle.

Peter then went into crying hysterics. "I just wanted to send my query letter to Donald K. Fulton. That's all. Is that too much to ask?" Peter cried.

"Dude, just send it as an attachment," Joebear said.

"No literary agent accepts attachments because trolls put bad stuff on them," Peter said as he was literally crying.

"Oh wow. Don't they have anticuck software to determine if the attachment is fucked?" Joebear asked.

"An anti-what?" Peter asked as he was sniffling.

"It's antivirus software and adblockers to determine whether your attachments are bullshit or not," I answered.

"I don't know, but I can't get this thing to send," Peter said.

"Fuck it. Try it again later," Joebear said.

"Good idea," Peter said with an evil smile. "I'll try it again WITH A NEW COMPUTER!" He then went ape shit on his computer all of a fucking sudden; he pounded on the sides of the monitor while grunting and swearing. He repeatedly kicked the fuck out of his computer and broke the monitor. "Fuck it! This computer is 10 years old. I am going to Microcenter in Duluth tomorrow to put my shit on a computer that actually fucking works! Fuck this piece of shit! Need to buy a new goddamn computer and need to bitch at these literary agents for being less computer savvy than I am. I'd like to beat the shit out of them." He suddenly threw his computer the fuck out of his window. "Aaaaagggfghhhhhhhhhh! Get the fuck out of here!!!! FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT COMPUTER!!! FUCK THESE LITERARY AGENTS!"

Joebear was laughing hysterically over the phone. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" He asked between laughs. "Okay. That happened. I wasn't expecting that! Wow!" He was crying with laughter. "Holy Cow!"

At this point, I really should be used to Peter's random autistic rages, but I found every single one of them hilarious. I just fucking laughed until my chest felt like exploding. My mouth was hurting from smiling too much out of laughter. I was beyond shocked when he threw his computer out of a window. I was in a ball and crying with laughter. What the fuck, Peter?

"What the fuck?!" Ted the Alligator yelled. "I can't even walk in people's front yard without getting shit thrown at me! Fuuucccck. I'm just trying to find something to fucking eat. I get a COMPUTER thrown at me? The fuck is wrong with this world?"

Joebear continued to sing a mock version of DarthSydePhineas's song, 'I Spawn, I Die.' "Can't stop killing it. Can't stop. Can't stop killing it. Don't how to stop! Can't stop killing it! Don't know how to stop!" He followed with a laughing fit.

When Ted was randomly in Peter's front yard, I was trying to hold my heart in my chest. I was having an autistic laughing fit. I was laughing without being able to breathe.

"What is going on? Is Peter fighting someone? What? Over a computer?" Joebear asked in disbelief and was chuckling.

"Yes. He is fighting with an alligator in his front yard. This shit is hilarious," I said while belly laughing.

"What? Is he Steve Erwin now?! I didn't know computer issues could have such an effect on mental stability," Joebear said while laughing.

"Why the fuck are you in my yard, Ted?! Jesus! Haven't you learned from the time I chased your ass with a chainsaw?" Peter yelled at him and was ready to throw the computer DESK at Ted.

"Nigga, I ain't even KNEW this was your yard. I normally come in the back yard. I didn't know this was YOUR front yard. Shit. The fuck you throwing your computer at me for?" Ted asked him and was ready to fuck up Peter.

Peter was holding his computer desk and ready to beat Ted with it. "I didn't know you were in my fucking yard!!! If I knew you were there, I would have beat you WITH my computer. Get the fuck out of my yard!" Peter screamed at him. "You're more of a piece of shit than my computer!" Peter made a stupid laugh after that last comment.

"Nigga, I swear to God I'mma fuck you up in your own house. Come at me, bro!" Ted screamed back at him. "I'm hungry and am in no mood for your BUULL SHIT!" Ted was slithering toward Peter. "Had enough of your damn shit!"

"Ted. Where you at?" Mr. Williamson's voice saved Peter's tall Irish ass.

Joebear and I were howling with laughter.

"Record this! Record this!" Joebear yelled.

"Will do," I said. "I'll send you the video when I finish with it!"

"Okay. Love you, bae," he said.

"Love you, too," I said. "I see you later."

He hung up, and I began to record these bums arguing.

"Man, this nigga threw a computer at me! I was tryna find something to eat and then this crazy man comes at me," Ted yelled.

"Your alligator is in my yard again! Get out of my yard! What? Is my yard a hangout or something? I've been through this five times! Can we please stop now?!" Peter yelled. "Excuse me. I need to beat the hell out of my computer. I gotta find a hammer." He then came in the house through the window to find a hammer.

I was recording Peter coming through the window before I turned my attention to Mr. Williamson.

"Come on Ted. This guy is off his rocker," Mr. Williamson said as he shook his head and cracked up.