#so expect me to edit this like 5 more times until i get fed up with it lol

[dendroaspis-viridis]

Study Break

Emmrich has a bad habit of overworking, something Katareth is all too eager to help him break.

Rating: E (18+) (this is just smut, y'all)

AO3

It was technically a rest day for the Mourn Watchers, though they both insisted on waking up with everyone else to get an early start on their work. After seeing the others off, the couple migrated to Katareth’s study, finding it to be the quietest space in the Lighthouse. Manfred was organizing manuscripts in Emmrich’s den, and Gustav, Kat’s skeletal horse, was occupied exploring the grounds surrounding their base with Assan, leaving her cozy office empty.

The coffee table was covered in all manner of annotated books, hastily-scrawled notes, and a pot of tea that had long since cooled. They’d been collaborating on a paper regarding the Veil’s current instability and its effects on summoned spirits for several hours, evidenced by the cramp the qunari was massaging out of her neck.

Leaning back in her armchair, she looked over to her long-time coworker turned lover with a fond smirk. Their relationship was a relatively recent thing, only coming about a few months ago following a rather embarrassing incident for all involved (and a particularly meddlesome dwarf), but she found them to be some of the most fulfilling months of her life. They continued to maintain the friendship they’d cultivated for the past two decades, though now there was an added romantic zeal that Katareth found exhilarating.

She’d engaged in strictly physical encounters with people here and there to relieve stress, though her overwhelmingly timid nature had her ushering people out the door as soon as each of their needs had been met. Emmrich was her first real relationship since she’d joined the Mortalitasi, and the first one she’d ever had where she didn’t feel like the object of someone’s fetish. He’d been ceaselessly patient with her thus far as she navigated the novel waters of domesticity including communicating feelings, non-sexual intimacy, and the most foreign concept of all: sharing the same bed with someone after sex.

She watched as he sighed, rubbing his eyes as he collected his teacup.

Stifling a yawn, Kat suggested, “Why don’t we take a break? We’ve been at this since seven.” A glance to the clock on the wall informed her that it was well past midday – at least back in Thedas. Time seemed to pass differently in the Fade. “I think we’ve earned it?”

Taking a sip and grimacing at the unpleasant chill, he smoothed down his moustache as he returned the cup to its saucer, eyes scouring the table for a specific scrap of parchment. “Mmm, I don’t know… We’ve barely touched on the spirits’ increasingly volatile behaviors.”

As much as Kat loved him, the necromancer had a self-destructive habit of eschewing basic care like food or rest when he was focused on a project, something she’d been gently trying to help him break over the years.

A devilish thought popped into Katareth’s head. Oh. That might work…

Mulling it over as her partner found the paper he’d been searching for and read it for what must’ve been the fifteenth time that morning, she rose to put her idea into action.

“Then let me convince you.” Kat stepped around the table, stopping at Emmrich’s knees before crawling onto his lap, straddling his thighs, and perching her hands on the back of the loveseat behind him, effectively trapping the human under her. With his view of their workspace now obstructed, Emmrich had no choice but to look up, meeting her salacious gaze.

He gave a surprised little “Oh!” when she seated herself, followed by a lower “Oh…” when he understood the explicit nature of her suggestion. A conspiratorial grin deepened the creases that framed his face.

Setting the parchment aside, he ran his hands along her thighs before untucking her shirt. Katareth jolted slightly when she felt cold fingers graze along the small of her back, circling the little dimples that sat just under her belt. The reaper crowded him further by leaning down to pepper his face with kisses. His cheeks, his jawline, his temples, everywhere except where Emmrich wanted her most.

Giving her hips a gentle grind, Kat purred into his ear when she felt his muscles tense under her and carefully-manicured nails dug into her waist, “Now, consider us in much the same position on my bed. No distractions, no clothes. Just the two of us... what do you think?”

He took a steadying breath before responding, “Truth be told, I’m finding thinking quite difficult right now.” The measured grind of her hips over his stirring member combined with the delicate licks and kisses she was placing just under his ear left his mind with little room to consider her proposal. “Though I concede that a break would be nice…”

Pulling back to meet him with a smolder, she teased, “I’m glad you could see reason.”

Kat dismounted, extending a hand to help pull him up into an embrace. She unbuttoned his waistcoat and high-collared shirt, shucking both and draping them across the back of the loveseat. He mirrored her actions, slipping the buttons of her tailored blouse through eyelets and unlacing her brassiere. The qunari took Emmrich’s hands in hers, pulling the smaller Watcher towards the doorframe of her bedroom with a wink.

The pair made it just inside the doorway when Katareth pinned the necromancer to the wall, capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

It was an absolute cacophony of sensations for Emmrich. The cool brick scratching against his back was in direct opposition to his lover’s plush, warm breasts pressing against his chest. And while they exchanged panted breaths, Katareth lifted him, guiding his legs to wrap around her waist. From his new vantage point, Emmrich could only watch as Kat leaned in to ravage the elegant column of his neck.

Taking his Adam’s apple between her teeth, sharp canines scraped across the delicate skin, leaving red streaks in their wake. Katareth reveled in the throaty moan of her name she felt rumble up through his neck, littering it with more nips and sucks.

Delicate hands came up behind her to fumble with the leather strip holding her hair in a loose bun. Untying it and discarding the leather at her feet, Emmrich ran his fingers through her snowy hair before taking a handful in a gentle fist, guiding her lips back up to his.

With their mouths occupied, Kat tightened her grip on his thighs to carry him over to her bed, setting the elder Watcher down gently on evergreen sheets before removing the rest of her clothes, prompting him to do the same.

Now fully nude, she ushered Emmrich towards the center of her bed. “Scoot back, I’ll need some room.”

When he complied, Katareth began her ascent, crawling up him like a predator on the prowl, and he was her all too willing prey. She stopped at his thighs, folding her legs under her so her pelvis rested just past his knees, gold eyes on his still semi-flaccid penis.

“S-Sorry, I- ah!” His attempted apology was cut off when she wrapped her warm hands around his cock. Kat held the pliant shaft in one hand, and eased his foreskin back with the other to thumb a shimmery bead of precum across his flushed head.

“Do I look like I mind?” She husked, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to his lips. She slowly flicked her wrist, smirking at the full body shudder that worked through him as she swallowed down his whine.

One of his hands grasped onto a grey thigh, the other cupping the back of Katareth’s head to hold her there, playing with the wispy hairs at her nape. His eyes were screwed shut, focusing on the sensation of her calloused hands gliding up and down, twisting along his cock.

The qunari adjusted her grip on his stiffening member, interlacing her fingers to rub the battle-roughened pads of her thumbs along the underside of his cock, paying special attention to the sensitive spot just under his glans.

She worked him in earnest, enthralled in feeling the way his length slowly began to swell under her thorough touch.

“Please, Katareth... I want to feel you around me,” Emmrich panted, resting his forehead against hers.

“I am around you,” She reminded him coquettishly, tightening her grip on his stiff erection to emphasize her point.

“Maker,” he gasped. “You know what I mean... Your – your core – your heat…  don't make me be crass, please,” the necromancer begged, finally opening his eyes to look directly at her. He could be so sensual and articulate when he was taking the lead, but was endearingly bashful when it came to engaging in any kind of dirty talk.

Showing her lover mercy, she gave his length one last stroke before maneuvering herself to straddle his narrow pelvis. Pressing his shoulders, Kat followed his descent to drape herself over him, supporting the majority of her weight on a muscular forearm above his head.

“Ready?” Her free hand took hold of his cock, lining it up with her entrance.

“Yes, please…” Long fingers dug into the soft meat of the reaper's hips, encouraging her down.

Needing no further coaxing, Katareth eased herself down, sighing as his erection parted her glistening folds. Their collective groans of pleasure echoed off the stone walls of her bedroom when she fully sheathed him in her warmth, wiggling her hips slightly to better accommodate him.

“Kadan...” she whispered, cradling his face in a large hand and brushing her thumb along his cheek. When she gently rocked, Kat dipped her tongue between Emmrich's lips, savoring the faint flavor of tea.

Their lovemaking began tenderly, both Mourn Watchers leisurely tasting and touching each other, accented by the delicious squeeze of the qunari's velvety heat around her human lover on a lazy upstroke.

She hummed into his mouth when cool fingers ghosted along a pointed ear, running soft fingertips along the outer edge where it was most sensitive. When the necromancer pinched at the sharp tip, he wasn’t prepared for the surprised clenching of her core, meeting her hum with a gasp.

His other hand trailed up from her hips, feeling her pace pick up ever so slightly when he scratched across the well-muscled planes of her back from waist to nape. He repeated the motion several times, matching the timing of his reaper's thrusts and steadily working her up into a fervor under his ministrations.

Katareth pressed her body into him more firmly, the added stimulation of her pierced nipples dragging against his angular body drawing occasional sighs. She loved the intimacy of it all. Loved knowing the panted exhalations of her name were for her ears only, and that the thrusts and jerks Emmrich was fucking up into her greedy core were for their mutual ecstasy.

The hand that'd been stroking his face gripped at the bedsheets as her thrusts grew more vigorous, caging Emmrich under the larger Watcher. The soft tap tap tap of the headboard against the wall was easily drowned out by the pair’s blissful cries and the wet slap of Kat's hips coming down to meet Emmrich's as she picked up momentum.

Adjusting the angle of her hips, Kat wailed a stuttered ‘E-Emmrich!’ into the side of his neck when his erection stroked against a sweet spot. She lost herself to the exquisite drag of his cock within her sensitive core, her hot breaths puffing across his shoulder. The intensity of her thrusts increased still, and some barely-functioning corner of Emmrich's mind noted that the taps from before had grown to solid thumps with each snap of her hips.

“Em, I'm close – fuck, I’m so close…” she panted into his ear. Her rocking lost its rhythm, devolving into stuttered lurches as she neared her peak. The fevered pitch of her shuddered breaths rose as she nosed along his pulse point.

“So – hah – so am I,” Emmrich struggled to for coherent words, basking in the absolutely decadent grind of her plush walls around his throbbing cock. “Just a little more – just like that!” He encouraged, grabbing at her hips to help push and pull her along himself.

Grinding her clit down into his pubic bone was the last little bit of stimulation she needed, tumbling over the edge with a long, keening whine as she bit down into the taut muscle that connected his neck to shoulder, rocking her hips to draw out her euphoria.

Emmrich soon followed with a deep, guttural groan, unable to hold back when the powerful muscles of her core squeeze and pulse around his cock. Feeling the rush of his orgasm paint her inner walls, Katareth released his neck, capturing his lips in a frantic, sloppy kiss, riding him through the aftershocks.

As their ecstasy abated, Katareth’s hips eventually stilled. Catching her breath, she rolled off the human with a groan, stretching her legs and easing them to a more neutral position before turning to Emmrich. She ran her blunt nails through the grey, wiry hairs of his chest, watching it rise and fall as he, too, came down from his high.

“If this is your new method for getting me to take more breaks, I may have to start pulling all-nighters again…” he huffed breathlessly, meeting her exhausted gaze.

“Don’t you dare, Emmrich Volkarin.” She pressed a chaste kiss into his cheek, taunting, “I might not be so nice, next time…”

He brought a hand to his neck, gently prodding at the tender bruises she’d bit and sucked into him, giving her a playfully incredulous look. “Heart, if this was ‘nice’, I’m not entirely sure I’d survive ‘mean’ with my throat intact.”

“I can’t help that your neck’s just so biteable, now, can I?” The qunari defended bashfully. “Besides, you always wear those high-collared shirts, so it’s not as if anyone would see...”

Rolling to lay his head on her shoulder, Emmrich quietly laughed as he replied, “Thank the Maker for small mercies, I suppose…”

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Moving right along. Episode 5

Sad guy is sad and is hallucinating the weirdo.

wait what happened with the teacher and the voice that I assumed was the rival? did I miss something. Did they? oh well

Ok what was that? was that suppose to have come out of his mouth? Cause his mouth didn't move. not even a little. But it seems like what comes after is a continuation.

ok. weirdo apologized but that doesn't seem to help. this is some very weak conflict even by bl standards.

sad boys montage. And I'm not an expert but this song is really not doing it for me. it's not good. Seriously, not even the music? I am in pain.

The guy is sick. Of course weirdo found the guy's house and shows up. At least he brought food. And of course he just walks in.

Ok. I haven't mentioned until now but what is it with this lip tint? It was obviously put in post and it does not look good.

Obligatory messy eater moment. So of course he needs to be fed. And hugged. Did they just make up?

Rival in the house. And he also brought porridge. This isn't awkward at all.

Great moment for weirdo to confess and then run away. And it's the rival's turn. The guy is popular today.

oh the guy thinks he's bad luck for other people. that's sad.

He needs to choose. He chooses weirdo. Every pot or whatever it is.

Ok this time weirdo asks for the kiss. This is improvement.

Episode 6 - oh it's the last one. let's get it over with.

flashback time. I literally just saw this.it's been 10 seconds.

Ok, that was a good kiss. And a long one for kbl.

We're back at the weirdly lit coffee shop. Oh wait I recognize this dude. Isn't he from a strongberry short? which one? I need to look this up later.

Ok. the guy got the job at the coffee shop.that cake looks good. is that cheesecake? it looks like it. like blueberry cheesecake. and now I want blueberries. preferably on top of cheesecake.

More kisses and the sound effects are back. also the silent comedy music. How much longer? wait is the weirdo also working there?

OMG. WHAT WAS THAT VOICE? THIS WAS THE CRINGE TO END ALL CRINGE. Ok, it turns out that they are both weirdos and they are perfect together. I'm sorry but this bit of dialogue needs to be shared.

the guy : today was tough huh? the weirdo: It's very different from when I was a costumer.

Was it? that's so weird. It's just going from one side of the counter to the other. I mean how different can it really be. 🤦‍♀️

Oh the kbl classic. Boy sleeps on table with one hand under his head and arm stretched.

Another good kiss. oh he was just helping his boyfriend but now he got the job.

Hug from behind my beloved.

They're missing an ingredient and one of them has to go get it. I'm having MODC flashbacks.

of course weirdo wouldn't let him go alone.

What's with the sudden tension, is that the rival? can't be.

AND THAT'S WHERE IT ENDS???? WTF? Is that it? ok, then...

Final thoughts

Strongberry we need to talk. I forgave that whole 20 minute short split in 3 parts. Mostly because those 20 minutes were at least well shot and well acted. And because we've been together for quite a few of these and there was a certain level of trust between us. I'm afraid going forward that will no longer be the case. Of course I'll keep my eyes open and if you decide to drop by I still wanna see you, but it's not the same. I have been burned too many times in this bl world and sadly I need to protect myself from future disappointment. So consider this an adjustment of expectations. I'm getting really good at these so don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I wish you well on all your future endeavours.

If anyone has made it through all that, I thank you. posting these made the whole experience a bit better. also I did not spellcheck or look over anything so sorry if there are mistakes. 💜💜💜

Edit: previous posts in the series if anyone is interested. E1 E2 E3&4

[asksoldieron]

SO-1: Here We Go Again!

If there's a lot of engagement on this, this post is liable to get real long, beware before you expand.

I'll edit in the real art once I make some!

Welcome to the Engagement Lounge, for This Seems Familiar (SO-1) an instalment! Short comments can go in the replies, but there's a 475 character limit. Longer ones will need a reblog. Remember to @asksoldieron if you're reblogging someone else's reblog, so I can see it too!

Woo. It's been a while since I posted this one now. As of this writing it's still lacking an illustration, but I went through and edited for continuity. I don't think this one changed much. (Mainly I needed to add the gumballs, and that's not until later. It's very important about the gumballs. Why? You'll see 😁.)

There may be a little quality loss here, but I'll need yet more distance to see it. The main thing is that I wanted to pen an opening that wouldn't be too confusing to new readers, or too boring to old ones. That's tough! And I don't have any beta readers who aren't already familiar with the story.

I should say, I didn't. And now I don't again! But earlier this year, I joined a group for autistic writers and... Ohhh-kaaaay. That was an experience I will not repeat.

I got fed up and finally cut ties when I found out they were affiliated with a local group that offers ABA for autism. You'll still find a lot of "favourable" articles about it on the internet, including from our "friends" at Autism Speaks! People just love it because it makes autistic kids stop acting autistic! Not "being," no, it just trains them not to act that way and inconvenience the rest of you. Often with punishments! Ha-ha, yeah. That's fine. This is fine. A disability is just like any other antisocial behaviour, you can just cut that shit out!

But I didn't know that about them, and I've been trying to make friends and connections. A group of autistic writers? And we don't have to meet in person? Sign me right up!

It was more a group for one particular autistic editor and her longsuffering friend, and the editor had all the inflexible dogmatism media tells you to expect from people like us. "I think everyone should stop masking because it's hard for me!" she said (I'm paraphrasing) once. "If we all just stop doing it, there won't be a problem!" Ha-ha. Yeah. They kill people like me when we don't behave up to a standard. Maybe not like her, because she's small, feminine and white, but people like me and my family.

That's the level of insight I was getting, but I stuck with it because I'm a people-pleaser!

We only had "time" for a couple pages of the first draft of this instalment (even though not many people were there and not all of them wanted to read words aloud, my god) and I got pressured into sharing first, having never been there before with no idea how I was meant to act. She proceeded to critique it as if it were a short story (not true) and as if that were all, or almost all, of it (clearly not true, I was sharing my screen at the time). I dunno if you wanna open it in another tab and look, but I began with Erik in the first draft. 1000 words into that is 1/5 of a standard instalment length and you've barely met him by the end.

I went back and added Miss Doubek (whom I was going to save for #6) at the beginning, so you could see the world through the eyes of someone a little less impaired. Because this writer group and editor convinced me y'all needed me to hold your hands a little tighter or you'd nope out.

"I don't understand what's happening" is like a kick in the groin to me. Growing up, I did not have a big enough vocabulary to express my big stories and big thoughts, so I heard that a lot. I still do sometimes! I'm overly specific and complex, especially when I'm upset, and I get aphasic and shut down. But, no, they didn't understand. The editor's poor friend was willing to hazard that there was obviously something wrong with Erik and she was beginning to suspect he was being held against his will - as one should. I solve that little mystery for you by the end. But I didn't get to read the end. I didn't even get to John coming home.

The editor told me (and, if I ever die of an aneurism, it will have been these words in my brain that killed me) "People don't say 'I know.'" That shut me right down. I was expected to keep talking and I probably did, but... Wha? Buh? I say "I know" all the time! One of my top ten ways to sort out my thoughts or rephrase and repeat what someone's trying to express so we're both on the same page. "I know [this], are you saying [that]?" But I removed it, and I don't think I put it back. (I think I ended up referencing the brain damage earlier instead, because I thought you needed to see a reason Erik might bit a little off, even if that's not the real one.) I'm still feeling self-conscious about using that phrase, in text and IRL!

By the grace of god, I didn't have a total meltdown and gut everything, but I wrote poorly and without joy for a long while. Trying to meet the standards of someone who had no idea what I was doing and didn't care to learn. She was an editor! I always wanted access to one of those!

Yeah. This helped solidify my now-militant belief that 1) Traditional publishing is not for me and 2) Stuffing art into a tiny box will kill it, so 3) Maybe we should be a little more grateful that people share the things they love with us.

I am clueless. I have sinned. I have issued unsolicited criticism on the internet, with the best of intent. But I am gonna try like hell not to do it anymore. Y'all don't need to be ruin your week. Unless you say you want help (and I will take you seriously, even if you don't mean it, so be careful!) or you're hurting others, I will back off and accentuate the positive. Even if the best I can come up with in the moment is "You made a thing!" (Ha-ha, nonverbal blues.)

Wow, that came out kinda sad. But I'm OK now! Tired of website glitches, but loving the writing part. I'd rather write another instalment than do any of this other stuff I got on my plate, but that's not in the cards for a few more days...

[Back to the Site?]

[xipiti]

[EDITED TO ADD:]This post is about 2 cats who are named Jean and Jorts, cat tax HERE :

UPDATE is here

THE STORY We have two workplace cats in one area of our worksite. They add value to the worksite, we all love the cats and the worksite cat presence is not the issue. One of the cats (Jean) is a tortoiseshell cat we have had for years. The other cat (Jorts) is a large orange cat and a recent addition.

Jorts is just… kind of a simple guy. For example, Jorts can’t open a door even when it’s ajar— he shoves it whether he is going in or out, so often he closes the door he is trying to go through. This means he is often trapped inside the place he was trying to exit and meows until he is rescued.

My colleague Pam (not her real name) has been spending a lot of time trying to teach Jorts things. The doors thing is the main example — it’s a real issue because the cats are fed in a closet and Jorts keeps pushing the door closed. Jean can actually open all the other interior doors since they are a lever type knob, but she can’t open this particular door if she is trapped INSIDE the closet.

Tortie Jean is very nice to poor orange Jorts, and she is kept busy letting him out of rooms he has trapped himself in, so this seems easy to resolve. I put down a door stop.

Pam then said I was depriving Jorts of the “chance to learn” and kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series of special learning activities for Jorts, and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard of daily team tasks (I erased them). She thinks we need to teach him how to clean himself better and how to get out of minor barriers like when he gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. I love Jorts but he’s just dumb af and we can’t change that.

Don’t get me wrong— watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Jean got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door and Pam started getting really huffy. I made a gentle joke about “you can’t expect Jean’s tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts” which made Pam FURIOUS. She started crying and left the hallway, then sent an email to the group (including volunteers) and went home early.

In her email Pam said I was “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb” and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return. I don’t think it’s relevant but just in case, Pam is a white person in a mostly minority staff (and no she is not ginger/does not have red hair).

TL;DR: AITA for ‘enforcing an ethnic stereotype’ by joking that orange cats are often dumb?

The Update:

Original HERE

Thanks for responding to my query which had truly upset me. I work to have a good relationship with my team and the situation had gotten weird so gradually that I lost perspective.

I just met with HR, she had already met with Pam. HR was concerned about Pam’s comparing ethnic stereotypes with giving a cat a doorstop and they addressed that which went well. HR will follow up to make sure Pam understands. (The replies to my query were helpful to me for this discussion.)

HR also addressed Pam assigning other staff Jorts-related tutoring, as it is not appropriate for Pam to assign others work. This also went well.

We both think Pam had a hard time with the transition from volunteer to staff, and may have “new kid” sensitivity projected to Jorts. Pam got emotional about her perception that I favor Jean over Jorts and gave specific examples. Some of these things are fair. Jorts deserves respect as a member of our team.

There are 3 buildings in our workplace. Jean and Jorts are limited to one. HR told me there were 5 holdouts about vaccines, and restricting unvaccinated people from entering the building (to protect Jean and Jorts) was enough to win over 4 of them. That’s CRAZY, but great.

More importantly: the cats’ presence greatly enhances our work with our clients, and Jorts’ friendly nature has been so great. Both cats truly are doing important work. Truly Jorts deserves to be treated with respect.

We all deserve to be treated with dignity at work, so I will apologize to Jorts about some things that were insensitive or disrespectful.

a. Jean has a nice cat bed with her name on it, while Jorts has chosen an old boot tray in my office with a towel in it. Recently a visitor put wet boots in the boot tray and Pam saw Jorts sleeping on the wet boots. I bought a bed for Jorts today and a name tag has been ordered.

b. I will apologize to Jorts and remove the sign saying “DAYS SINCE JORTS HAD A TRASH CAN MISHAP: 0” Jorts likes to fish dirty paper cups out and he often falls into the bin or gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. (He is able to get out of the bin by tipping it over so it isn’t a safety issue.)

c. Jean’s “staff bio” has a photo of Jean, while Jorts’ bio has a photo of a sweet potato. I did not actually know either cat had a staff bio, but we will use a photo of Jorts instead of a sweet potato.

HR also suggested changing Pam’s duties so she is “in charge” of the cats. This I refused, the cats are my staff, not Pam’s. I think Pam was well-intended but actually not meeting the needs of either Jean or Jorts so they remain under my supervision. (Pam is also not to put cups on Jorts’ head or intentionally put him into frustrating situations given his unique needs.)

Lastly, and this made us both laugh so hard we can’t deal with it in person and will be said via email: Pam admits that she has been putting margarine on Jorts in an attempt to teach him to groom himself better. This may explain the diarrhea problem Jean developed (which required a vet visit).

Pam is NOT to apply margarine to any of her coworkers. Jean has shown she is willing to be in charge of helping Jorts stay clean. If this task becomes onerous for Jean, we can have a groomer help. I am crying laughing typing this.

added: I’m so glad this brought joy. Fan mail can be directed to jortsandjean @ gmail dot com.

or follow the Jorts and Jean joke account on twitter @JortsTheCat

[good4olivia]

homework and the truth

Edward Cullen x Reader 

Requested: Yes 

Summary: Edward tells his human best friend that he’s a vampire and after she’s okay with it, he confess his feelings for her. 

A/N: requests are open! i do headcanons too :) + i did a skim edit so they may be some mistakes 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to drink?” Y/N asked Edward while she was got herself a glass of water, “I never see you eat or drink anything, it’s kinda of weird.” She laughed. Her back was to him, while she was looking for a glass.

“I told you I’m on that special diet.” Edward chuckled.

“Right that one your foster doctor dad has you on.” Y/N said skeptically. She knew something was different about that family, there was just too many weird things to ignore but every time she tried asking Edward about it he’d brush her off and the mood would damper so she let it go.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Y/N asked as she sat next to Edward on the sofa.

“We have homework to do, love.” Edward would always call Y/N cute nicknames like that. At first he thought that she would find it weird but she never said anything. Edward couldn’t read her mind, something that frustrates him a lot especially considering he was basically in love with her but couldn’t make up his mind if she felt the same way or not. Sometimes he was positive she felt the same way but then she would talk about another boy at school and all the doubt came running back.

“Ugh, you’re always the voice of reason. But do we have to do it here? Can’t we go to the place you know in the woods? That pretty meadow?” Y/N asked. Edward had taken her there a few times on the weekend.

“It’s already 4, it takes an hour and a half to get there and it would be dark by that time. We can go on the weekend?” Times like these Edward wished he could tell his best friend that he was a vampire, it takes him 5 minutes to get the meadows when he’s running and he just wants to do what makes her happy but he’s too scared that she will want nothing to do him with anymore and he can’t stand the idea of loosing her.

“Yeah you’re right. Ugh okay, enough procasnating. Should we start with math? Get it over and done with?” She suggested. She liked having Edward over for study dates, it made it easier that had the same homework being in basically every class together (what she didn’t know, was that was no condience on Edwards part).

Of course, Edward knew everything the teacher taught, probably better than the teachers themselves and could do the homework within seconds but he dumbs it down to spend time with you and help you with your homework.

—

“I love doing homework with you, it’s only 5:30 and we’re already done!” Y/N exclaimed as she packed up her books, “Do you have to go home? Or can you hang out for a bit?’

“Of course.” Edward smiled, it always made him happy when Y/N wanted to spend time with him, especially cause he got self-conscious about taking up too much of her time.

They decided to put on a movie and within the few hours, Y/N had subconsciously moved closer and closer to Edward until her head was on his shoulder. They had never really been this close before and Edward could hear Y/N hearts racing. Edward knew his heart would’ve been the same if it wasn’t dead.

“It’s getting late, your parents are probably expecting you soon.” Y/N said, though she didn’t want him to leave.

“Can I tell you something? Before I go home?” Edward asked nervously. He had to tell her he was a vampire. Nothing really happened this evening but the little that did happen only made him want more.

“Yeah sure.” Y/N answered, she could sense the that something was wrong and she was worried. “Is everything okay?”

“I hope so. So you know how I’m on that diet and how I always text you back even if it’s 3am or how all my siblings and I look a lot alike even though we’re not related?” Edward started off, he could hear her heart racing and suddenly he wanted to back out. All anxieties about how she was going to react came flooding back to him.

It had been a moment or two and he hadn’t elaborated more, “Edward? Can you please just tell me what’s going on. I promise you can trust me, whatever it is I won’t run away and I won’t tell anyone.”

Even without his ability to read her mind, from the look in her eyes he could tell she meant what she said, “I’m a vampire Y/N.”

Y/N eyes tore away from Edward and she felt her stomach drop. Not in a million years would she guess this was Edward’s secret. She loved Edward, how could he be this monster? She stood up from the couch and took a few step backs, “The-The hikers that have gone missing, the supposed animal attacks? Was that you and your family?”

Edward stood up, which caused Y/N to take another few steps back. This was Edward’s worst fear, for Y/N too see him for what he was, a monster. “No love, I promise my family and I we are different from others of our kinds. We only drink the blood of animals, thats why were able to stay in one town for so long. Please, you have to believe me. I can’t lose you.”

“How can I believe you?” Y/N whispered. Part of her knew that Edward wouldn’t hurt her, they had been friends for months, he had plenty of chances to hurt her if that was his true intention.

“You would ask about my eyes, why they change colours. When they’re black, it means I haven’t hunted in a few weeks and when they turn back to topaz, it means I’ve hunted - on animals not humans. If I fed on a human, my eyes would red. Does that make sense?” He sounded so desperate, he knew he did but he hoped she could believe him.

“What about those missing hikers? Was it really just animals?” She asked, Good, this is good. This means she probably believe me. Edward thought.

“Those were nomads passing through, we made sure they’re not coming back I promise. I would never let them hurt you.” Edward realised after it was too late that his last sentence was a bit too intense but it didn’t seem to make her more anxious, possibly the opposite.

“Do you want me to leave?” Edward asked softly.

Y/N shook her head, she moved closer to Edward and wrapped her arms around him, “I guess this is also why you’re so cold.” She laughed.

“Yeah. So you’re okay with all this, you still want to be my friend?” Edward asked, needing the confirmation.

“I know that I freaked out a little at first but I really did mean it when I said you can trust me.” Y/N said.

Edward nodded, it was completely rational for her to be a bit freaked out but he was happy she came around. Realising that he just did the one thing he was most terrified of, he decided the other thing wasn’t as scary.

“There’s something else actually.” Edward started off,

“Don’t tell me Forks is also home to witches and werewolves.” Y/N joked.

Edward chuckled, “No, the witches at least,” Y/N eyes widen, “Another time love. But what I wanted to tell you was that I love you.”

“I love you too Edward, you know that-“

“No not like that, not like a friend. I love you as something more.” Edward told her.

Y/N didn’t say anything after a moment, Edward started to panic, “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way-“

“No! I mean, yes I do feel the same way. I love you, Edward. I just- I just didn’t think it would be possible for you to feel the same way about me. I mean I’m me and you’re you.” She confessed.

“If only you could see yourself the way I saw you.” He told her as he brushed some of her hair behind her ear.

“Are you going to kiss me now?” She smiled.

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. Kissing her was everything he ever thought it would be and he only broke up apart so he would have time to catch her breathe.

“I love kissing you.” Y/N gigged and leaned her head into his chest.

Edward pressed her further into his chest and kissed her forehead, “Can I stay over tonight?” He really didn’t want to think about going home right now, not after getting what he wanted ever since he first met her.

“Yeah. My mum usually goes straight to bed after her shift and she doesn’t wake up before I go to school.” Y/N explained to him.

Y/N got herself another glass of water, she was so happy knowing the real reason why Edward never drank or ate anything and especially that they were boyfriend and girlfriend now.

She loved seeing Edward laying in her bed, “You don’t sleep do you?”

“No, not ever.” He answered.

“Won’t you get bored all night?” She wondered.

“I’m never bored when I’m with you.” He confessed to her.

She climbed under the covers and turned on her TV, “Does this mean you’re my boyfriend?”

“Hmm and you’re my girlfriend.” He said while pulling her closer to him.

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

———

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[ilovefandoms102]

Oh Boy....

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: In which you are John B’s sister and developing feelings for JJ 

Note: I am planning on making this a series. Let me know any ideas and feedback! I am mixing my story with the show! 

Part 2 

edited by author

=====================================

I was startled awake by the sound of my alarm.

5:30 am

I debated sleeping in a little bit, but knew Kie’s dad would for sure fire me for being late one more time this week. I drug myself out of bed looking over at the sleeping boy next to me.

JJ Maybank has been a constant in my life since I can remember. He’s my best friend. What he didn’t know is that I have been in love with him for almost as long as I have known him.

Despite his issues and faults, he was a good person. Everyone thought we were together by the way we flirted and basically acted like a couple, but JJ was always the first to deny anything going on. 

“Babe will you turn that thing off. Fuck.” muttered JJ.

I quickly turned my alarm off. Forgetting about it going off while I was so deep in thought. 

“Sorry J,” I mumbled while walking to the bathroom. 

I got to work on time, thanking my lucky stars Kie worked the same shift with me and drove us there. It was always busy at The Wreck no matter the time of day. Which is what kept me from thinking about anything and everything…especially my missing Father.

It’s been such a struggle for my brother and I to make it without him. I have had to pull multiple double shifts from Mr.C so that I could continue to pay our bills and keep us fed. Luckily, I was the favorite of Mr.C’s out of our friend group so he had no issue with me staying over after my shift was over. 

=====================================

It was around noon when I heard a voice that sounded a lot like my brother’s come in The Wreck. I looked around the corner and saw my brother John B, JJ, and Pope come in. They spotted me and waved me over.

“Hey guys, didn’t expect y’all until later. What’s up?” I asked.

“We need to tell you something you probably aren’t going to like” said Pope. The poor boy looked so scared I knew this had to be something serious.

“What did you do?” I asked giving my brother and JJ an accusatory look.

“Why you lookin’ at me?” JJ asked, cracking a smile making my heart stop.

“Because it’s usually you that talks poor Pope into doing something dumb Maybank” I said, rolling my eyes.

JJ just smiled at me , winking. This made my heart stop again, but I covered it by giving him what the group calls my ‘mom’ look.

“We may or may not have accidentally on purpose drowned Topper’s boat” Pope said with panic in his eyes.

I felt my own widen and my jaw dropping to the floor.

“YOU DID WHAT?!” I screamed, my brother clamped a hand over my mouth and dragged me with them near the bathrooms.

“What in the literal fuck is wrong with you all?! Are you wishing us dead? Because that is what we are going to be if he finds out!” I silently yelled, trying to not draw attention.

“In our defense, Topper and Rafe jumped Pope and we were on a bit of revenge high…we wanted to tell you if they come in to deny we had anything to do with it.” JJ said. 

“Baby, it’s going to be fine, there’s no way they will find out we did it.” he continued while putting a comforting arm around me. 

I looked at them, then stopped at my brother.

“Birdie, I can’t bail you out again. We don’t have the money.” I said, tears starting to well in my eyes.

I was worried about them getting caught because even if they hadn’t done it, the Kooks would still try to find a way to blame it on the Pogues. These boys meant the world to me and I hated when they got into it with Topper and Rafe. 

“You won’t have to sis, I promise everything will be ok.” my brother said taking you into a hug.

“You say that, but we know Topper is going to assume it was us.” I muttered.

I checked the clock, cursing under my breath.

“Look, I have to get back to work, just don’t forget to pick me up please. I don’t want to walk home I’m not in the mood to fight a Kook tonight.” I sighed, my eyes moving back to the hell that awaited.

=====================================

The rest of my shift was fairly painless, the highlight being that an elderly couple gave me a very generous tip that was going straight to my bill money to pay off some overdue bills. I waited outside for the guys to pick me up and saw none other than Rafe with his crew of Kooks outside.

“This is not happening,” I muttered to myself. 

“Hello little Pogue. Where’s your brother and your other worthless friends?” Rafe asked, his menacing smile giving me the creeps.

“You know what Rafe? How about you take you and your prissy school girl clique back to Figure 8.” I said sweetly.

My blood started boiling and I could feel my heart beating from anger and nerves. Rafe Cameron is a piece of work and has no respect for anyone but himself.

“Ouch, you wound me little Pogue,” Rafe laughed.

“Fuck off Rafe seriously. I don’t know where he is. Unlike you, I have to work for a living and I have not seen him or the others all day, so whatever it is you think you can get from me, it’s nonexistent.” I said, hoping this would deter them. But I knew better than to get my hopes up when it comes to the Kooks leaving a Pogue be.

“Grab her.” said Rafe.

He and his friends lunged for me. I went to run back into the building, but Kelce caught me by the waist. I kicked, scratched, punched, and did everything to try and get out of his hold. Rafe came to the other side of me to hold me with Kelce so Topper stood in front of me. I looked at him with pure hatred in my eyes.

“We know it was you filthy pogues that sunk my boat.” Topper sneered, getting up in my face trying to intimidate me.

“I don’t know anything about thatTopper! Let me the fuck go assholes” I screamed, trying my best to pull away from Kelce and Rafe.

“HEY!” someone shouted. We all turned to see JJ, Pope, Kie, and my brother running towards us.

“Get your fucking hands off her!” JJ yelled.

In the next instant, I was being pulled away by Kie while watching the boys break out into a brawl. I wanted to throw a few punches myself, but Kie holding on to me was the only thing keeping me back from jumping in with the guys.

“ Are you ok?” Kie asked me.

“Yeah I’m good, just a few scrapes” I said looking back towards the boys.

We shouted for them to stop for what felt like hours. When Rafe got JJ in a choke hold is when I lost it. I jerked myself from Kie and jumped on Rafe’s back. 

“Let go of him asshole!” I yelled. Kelce came and pulled me off of him, jerking out of his hold I ran around Rafe and stood in front of JJ.

“Stop it now Rafe!” I demanded, my finger poking his chest.

I could feel JJ’s hand curl around my waist, ready to pull me back if something happened. Rafe looked at me then to JJ and the rest of the group and told Kelce and Topper to get back on their bikes.

“This isn’t over Pogues’” Rafe scoffed before they all sped off.

===================================

Until next time! Let me know what you guys think!

[tsukikento]

Empathetic Chapter 13

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader

Summary: After your mom, the number 1 hero in America, gets offered a teaching position at U.A., you two pack up your things and head to Musutafu, Japan to start a new life. Pressure for you in America was at an all-time high, and now you’re in Japan, where almost no one knows you, or your family’s past.

This tale starts on your first day of class where your new teacher decides the best way for you to fit in is to fight against the strongest person in your class: Bakugou Katsuki.

Warnings/Genre: This piece will feature some angst and reference to an abusive parent, if you are ever worried about other tw’s feel free to send me an ask and I will let you know. There will also be fluff, slight angst, pining, and slowburn.

A/N: I finished this weeks ago and then took forever to do my final edit! Which may suck, but I think the wait is worth it. I’m hoping to write much more in the new year! :) Please let me know what you think.

(masterlist)

It was another mundane and busy week until anything eventful occurred.

Although, there were still highlights to your week, particularly the lunch periods.

On Monday, you ate with Ashido, Kirishima, and the rest of that small group of friends you were becoming more acquainted with. News of Ashido and Kirishima’s relationship spread quickly as they sat together before class started and were giggling messes for much of the day. Therefore, the couple decided to sit next to each other during lunch instead of in the usual seating order. Because of the seating change, you were now positioned next to Bakugou who kept rather quiet except for the few times he nudged you to laugh at how idiotic the couple was being.

Tuesday was rather similar, except now Kaminari and Sero were pretending to be a couple in order to mock Ashido and Kirishima. They comically fed each other lunch, called each other disgustingly sweet pet names, and even pretended to kiss a few times. You, out of everyone there, found this the funniest. You could not help but laugh loudly at their antics while Ashido and Kirishima swayed between being upset, bashful, and laughing along. Bakugou had a small smile planted on his lips throughout the lunch, but did not bark out a laugh once.

On Wednesday, Ashido practically ruined your plans by telling you that she was eating with just Kirishima that day. You had been so excited to sit with Bakugou once more that you weren’t quite sure what to do. After some debate, you ended up sitting with the rest of the Class 1-A girls. They spent most of the lunch talking about school, which wasn’t horrible, but they were much less humorous than the ridiculous and rambunctious boys you had been sitting with.

On Thursday, you once again sat with the girls. However, Uraraka was missing today and was replaced by an Ashido who could not stop staring at Kirishima. Despite ogling him during lunch, she firmly believed in spending time with other people and taking things slow. This resulted in her promising one day for “just us girls!” As the two lovesick puppies continued to shift in their seats to get a look at the other.  You even found yourself preemptively looking towards the table of boys to catch Kirishima’s glances. It seemed Bakugou had the same idea because you made eye contact with him almost as much as Kirishima and Ashido had.

When Friday rolled around, you were fairly tired. School picked up quickly and you were still working on catching up from the weeks you missed. With little sleep, you trudged to the table with Ashido and Kirishima and allowed anyone but you to carry on a conversation. Luckily, that was easy for the group sitting with you.

Although you weren’t quite sure what was happening, you were fairly certain Ashido and Kaminari were rallying a humorous bit about Aizawa and another hero. Something about jokes? Or somebody with a lot of jokes?

However, the happy atmosphere changed quickly as Mineta approached you all with a sick smirk plastered on his face.

Despite Kaminari and Sero being friendly with Mineta in their first year, and not outright hating him now, they knew better than to welcome him with open arms to a table with two girls, the chivalrous Kirishima, and a short-tempered Bakugou. With this in mind, they stayed quiet as the purple-headed boy arrived at their table and gained everyone’s attention.

“Can we help you?” Kirishima asked politely. He cautiously wrapped his arm around Ashido, very aware that Mineta could be more vulgar than the average person.

“I just wanted to congratulate you on your relationship,” He began, surprising all of you.

Even you turned to look at him out of surprise. The action wasn’t too difficult because he was positioned between you and Bakugou who sat at the head of the table. You furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him begin to speak once more.

“I have to say I’m pretty jealous you get to tap that pink a—“

“Oh my god,” Ashido’s voice covered up his last word and you all looked at him in mal contempt and utter disgust.

Anger immediately flooded through your veins and you almost threw yourself away to distance yourself from Mineta as much as possible. Furthermore, despite your tired mind, you had been wanting to destress for hours, and you swiftly placed your hand on the short boy’s shoulder as you saw the opportunity arise. Although it pained you to even touch him, you craved to let your aggressions go much more than your craved distance.

You smirked as his emotions ran through you. With as much control as you could muster, you did not allow his perverse feelings overcome you and instead focused on his insecurities.

“Pretty big words from someone who wouldn’t even be a hero if it wasn’t for your grape-filled brain,” You said, letting your aggression take over your conscious. “I wouldn’t make comments like that knowing full well all of us here could kick your ass. You don’t even fit well into our class when your quirk is easily outdone by Sero and your smarts are far from the best in the class.” Every word your spoke spit the venom of a snake, but you couldn’t stop yourself from letting though go into the loud cafeteria.

“Holy shit,” You heard Kaminari chuckle out of pure surprise once you finished ridiculing Mineta.

You removed your hand from his shoulder and stared at him with a sickly evil smirk, practically begging the purple pile of garbage to try and retort to much too real claims.

“Scram,” A deep voice beside you spoke up.

You looked over to Bakugou and saw as much anger in his eyes as you were sure were in yours. However, you were quite sure yours were now being replaced with confusion.

Mineta fled with his theoretical tail between his legs. You didn’t have to remove your earbuds to know he was regretting ever coming to this table.

Good, you thought as you watched him leave.

Once he was a good distance away, you turned back to your groups of friends who stared at you in shock.

“Damn, L/N-san,” Sero commented, very purposefully using formal language around you.

“Your tongue is as sharp as Bakugou’s,” Kirishima added while Ashido ran around to give you a hug for defending her.

“Thank you,” She whispered in your ear, her tone happier than you would expect at this time.

You nervously chuckled and scratched the back of your head, not expecting them to be so accepting of your angry side. It really only ever come out during a fight or when someone was particularly pissing you off.

“Yeah,” Bakugou quietly added. You looked over to him as he continued to speak, “It was,” A pregnant pause filled the table, “Cool.” Despite him still looking dissatisfied with his choice of words, you didn’t push for him to clarify.

“Thanks,” You replied, a gentle smile stretched across your hot cheeks. His own cheeks tinged a hue of pink you saw rarely and you knew that this moment was special. You didn’t want to rush to conclusions because assumptions were never ideal, but you hoped Bakugou actually liked seeing your quick wit come out.

The bell rang, signaling that your session of lunch was coming to a close and you had 5 minutes to get to your next class. You grabbed your small dessert before tossing the rest of your lunch. While Bakugou, Ashido, and Kaminari departed in a separate direction for the class with your mom, you gingerly walked with Sero and Kirishima back to the 2-A classroom.

The two boys continued to compliment you as you walked into class on your impressive words.

“If it was anyone else, I would be nervous to say this,” Kirishima spoke, “But Mineta is so crude that he kind of deserves it. Especially considering what he was saying about Ashido.”

You smiled at Kirishima, who currently had pink spreading across his face. “I’m sure you would have stepped in if I hadn’t,” You added, knowing full well that Kirishima was very polite.

The conversation continued until you arrived at your class. Sero moved to his seat while you and Kirishima walked together to the back to sit in your seats one behind the other.

When Monday had come, Aizawa still hadn’t prepared anything for the class to do, but today he came prepared.

With a pop quiz.

Everyone in the class groaned as he insisted it would give you all a better chance than the other students on the next exam.

By the time you got out of class, you were sure Ashido, Kaminari, and Bakugou were still with your mom.

Despite knowing full well that you should head over to your mom’s house and feed your cat, you were also very tempted to sit in on the class. Or at least see Bakugou again.

You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach, something that had become more and more common, at the thought of seeing him. You felt like such a fool with your ridiculous crush, but you couldn’t help how excited you got at the idea of seeing him.

Additionally, today’s class was supposed to be her day with every year rather than just one. The large crowd would mean she wasn’t as intense and detailed. Finally, you decided to use a simple excuse of a question to have a reason to go and see your friends.

Primarily Bakugou, you admitted to yourself as you trekked the halls to the large gymnasium.

Despite his previous comments, Bakugou’s temperament towards your mother’s class had gone down by Monday when she was able to talk to him more one on one about manipulating his explosions and how it matched with her fire manipulation.

Having sat in on your own siblings' training sessions multiple times, you knew the speech about fire, or explosions in Bakugou’s case, not being able to provide nearly as much defense as offense.

Ashido had recanted to you that Bakugou spent most of the day trying to use his explosions to block attacks from whatever partner he was with instead of using his explosions to attack them.

You were glad they were getting along with each other, but you want for them to get along together also scared you to death.

Is me wanting them to get along too much? You questioned, trying to be conscious of how quickly your feelings were getting the best of you.

Reluctantly, you attempted to swallow your nerves and went to grab the door handle of the gym.

Since your mother would be talking to all her students as opposed to just one years’ worth, you knew you would have quite the audience as you opened the loud door to the gym. That could be positive and negative.

As you predicted, a plethora of eyes moved from your mother to look at you as you bashfully came in. They were currently sitting on the ground as your mother talked to them about who knows what.

Immediately your eyes found Bakugou’s sharp vermillion eyes. You felt your face flush as his piercing gaze stared back at your shamelessly. It was almost intense enough for you to look down and run out of the gym.

However, before you had a chance, your mother whipped around and smiled at you as she noticed herself lose everyone’s attention.

“Ah!” She cheerfully exclaimed as you tentatively approached her and stood in front of more than fifty students.

You couldn’t help but watch Bakugou as his eyes brazenly traveled up and down your body as you approached the group of students. The smirk on his lips was a bold reminder that he was much more confident than you.

“Everyone,” Your mom spoke and she turned to face the crowd, “This is my daughter, Y/N!”

Although you knew what type of situation you put yourself in, you still nervously waved at the class before leaning into your mom. “Sorry, I just needed to ask you something.”

“We’ll be right back,” She told the class. Gently, she grabbed your elbow and pulled you away so the students couldn’t hear you. “Yeah?” She asked.

Although you appreciated her moving you both out of earshot, you were intending to talk to her in English, which many of the students knew very little of considering it was your first language and most likely their second.

“I was just about to head over to feed Cody and remembered you being a little low on food on Wednesday. Do you want me to pick up more?” You asked.

“Oh, yes! That would be perfect!” She exclaimed, “Thank you for remembering.”

“Okay, cool, see you la—”

“Come talk to the class before you go!” Your mother excitedly said as she pulled you back to the students, clearly wanting to show off one of her 5 prodigies.

Although she was strict when it came to training and held standards for you that were much different from her siblings, you were still her pride and joy. She acted so childishly when not focused on work, and it almost felt like Ashido was the one dragging you to do something you didn’t want to do.

“Tell them about how I am as a teacher,” She said in Japanese so the class could understand.

You sighed before looking to the students and trying to find the best words. Although there were many people in the audience you knew, you only kept your eyes on Bakugou as you spoke. Having my mom as your teacher can help you so much, so pay attention, you thought to yourself before speaking. “She is a hard-ass. She knows your potential and knows you can do better than you think. She is kind to you, but when you slack off, she gets more serious than you will ever see. Take this class seriously.” You paused for a moment before adding. “My mom trained all four of my older siblings. She is the number 1 hero in America, and they are all in the top 20 and climbing. You are lucky to have her help.”

Your tone was serious, but your mother’s kind smile was what made the situation scariest. She didn’t even correct you or criticize her for calling her a hard-ass. Many students had shocked faces with only a few exceptions for the students you knew would take her seriously and use her skill before she left.

“Thank you so much for stopping by,” Your mother spoke before turning to only address you. “This class is almost done, but I have a meeting, so I won’t be home by the time you feed Cody.”

You promptly nodded before turning to leave. You were too nervous to spare a glance at your friends, but you heard Ashido and Kaminari say goodbye as you opened to gymnasium door.

You used the small walk to the local pet store and then to your mother’s house as an opportunity to be with yourself. You thought over your week and what you needed to do. From homework, you needed to catch up on, personal training, and your hero costume, your life was fairly busy.

Additionally, the back of your mind prodded you with questions about Bakugou.

Did it seem weird that you stopped by your mom’s class?

Is it obvious you like him more than others?

You shouldn’t even be thinking about romance when you have to focus on your career!!

You knew full well that you had leaps to take in order to be an excelling hero. You knew it was more important to force yourself to actually train and practice than to worry about little friendships and romances. However, you felt tired.

You tried to calm yourself down by reminding yourself that you just moved to a new country and started school in a whole new place.

This school is made to help me train and get better, at least I have that if I am not doing much extra outside of class.

By the time you arrived at your mom’s house and were done feeding Cody, your feet, and brain ached. You spent the next half an hour on the couch with your cat by your side, lackadaisically petting him while scrolling through your phone.

Once your feet were no longer crying for a break, you made your way back home. The sun was still up, the warm sun shining perfectly on the concrete. It was just now entering the end of May and many bushes and trees were lush with green leaves and various vibrant other colors. The temperature was nice and tepid, making the walk home very comfortable because of the occasional breeze.

By the time you were home, the sun was just beginning to set. You quietly took off your shoes and greeted the few students downstairs.

“Ah, L/N-san,” Iida began once he saw you. He, Asui, and Tokoyami were currently stationed in the kitchen. “I know you aren’t used to the normal schedule yet, but we usually eat dinner around 6. Everyone takes turns cooking.”

You nodded while walking up to them. They were currently cooking up a pasta dish and the smell was making your stomach ache.

“Once you feel comfortable, we would love to add you to the list,” Iida continued.

Although a little tired, you still smiled at the trio, “I would love to. Is there a spreadsheet or list? I really only know American dishes so…” You trailed off at the end of your sentence. You enjoyed cooking, but you hardly knew how to make true Japanese dishes.

“Of course,” Asui began. She pulled out her phone to show you. “Each day has certain people with the dishes already listed. The school provides us with some money for food and different people go shopping each Saturday. It is usually the girls though, ribbit,” She explained.

Your eyes glazed over this month’s sheet. Each person appeared a few times with the respective dishes also listed.

“Who makes these?” You asked.

“Momo does,” Iida quickly replied while he drained a large pot of pasta.

You nodded, debating what would be your best action. “I’ll talk to Momo some time about getting put onto the schedule.”

The three classmates nodded and thanked you for understanding.

You sheepishly waved them off, telling them you were happy to help. You finally made your way upstairs with a small snack in hand. You were quite hungry at this point and hoped it would help satiate you until the food was ready in an hour.

You immediately plopped down on your bed and pulled out your phone once upstairs.

I can do homework after dinner, you told yourself as you scrolled through social media.

However, before you had a chance to really relax, you heard 3 rapid knocks against your wooden door. Quizzically, you stood up from your bed, debating who could be knocking in such a short, yet recognizable way.

Unsurprisingly, Bakugou was the person on the other side.

I should have known, you told yourself as you took in his outfit. He wasn’t too sweaty, but it was clear he has been active for at least the past hour. He was dressed in basketball shorts and a basic t-shirt.

“Can I help you?” You inquired. It seemed he rushed over to talk to you, making you wonder by he couldn’t wait.

“I want to fight,” He bluntly explained.

“Okay, um,” You mumbled, “I am pretty good right now. Can I take a rain check?” You retorted. You definitely were not ready for a challenge.

The blond rolled his eyes as you and sighed, “Dummy. I don’t mean right now.” His voice was harsh and it made you want to laugh at his reaction to your reply.

Your mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape and Bakugou leaned up against the door.

“Are you gonna invite me in?” He asked. The pout on his lips was rather cute, but you tried to stay focused on what he was saying.

“Do you even want to come in?” You pushed.

Bakugou scrunched up his nose at your sarcastic comment and leaned up to stand tall against you. “It would be rude not to. We have to plan when we are going to train together.”

“Ah,” You mumbled.

You moved aside to let Bakugou in. When he came in, you finally noticed the water in his hand and the way his eyes scanned over your room carefully.

“I didn’t realize you meant training,” You explained as you quietly closed your bedroom door.

No matter how calm you tried to stay it was rather difficult to do so when he was looking over everything you had.

He turned to look at you. “Are you dumb?” He judged, “Do you need coffee or something?”

You waived him off and grabbed your laptop, not feeling the need to keep this small spat going. You gestured for him to sit at your desk chair while you perched onto your own bed.

“Do you know your schedule?” You asked him as you pulled up the calendar app on your laptop.

“Yeah,” He began while taking a seat at your small desk chair. He slouched over in the chair and gave off a very nonchalant vibe.

You wondered for a moment what kind of vibe you gave off.

“I am free on Wednesday and Sunday,” He explained.

You nodded and looked through your schedule. You didn’t really have anything that couldn’t be moved considering you had only been living in Japan for a few weeks now. Silently, you wished your schedule would pick up more. You noticed most of your classmates were gone a few times throughout the week for their internship.

You bit your lip, debating your schedule before mumbling out, “Do you cook dinner at all?”

Bakugou stared at your quizzically, your eyes glued to your laptop screen. “Huh?” He replied, his voice louder than intended. He honestly wasn’t even sure if you knew you asked that question.

You looked up from him and immediately felt nerves wash over your body. “I’m just curious because Iida was talking to me about adding myself to that schedule. I was wondering if you did in the case that would mess up our training. Or, like, also because I know you go to your internship a lot and wanted to make sure I didn’t take up too much of your time. Sorry, I didn’t m—”

“You talk too much,” Bakugou interrupted.

You abruptly stopped talking. You stared at Bakugou, not quite sure what to say.

Is he even going to answer my question, you debated as you watched him.

“I do,” He finally added. “On Mondays.”

You nodded your head and simply looked back to your computer. You gulped down the lump in your throat before mumbling out a small and meek, “Cool.” Your eyes gloss over your computer once more despite already having your schedule memorized. “Wednesday and Sunday work for me too.”

Bakugou stood up from the chair. “Good,” He replied, before making his way to the door.

“Wait!” You exclaimed just before he opened the door.

He turned to look at you, his features were curious as to what else you could add.

“What time are we going to meet up?” You asked. “And where?” You added. A small pause, “And what are we going to do?”

“Geez, you have so many questions,” Bakugou groaned, he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. You found your eyes scanning over his slightly damp hair. It was still standing at attention and looked incredibly fluffy.

You didn’t react at all and simply gestured for him to keep talking.

“We can meet this Sunday at three in the afternoon. Just meet me downstairs and I’ll walk us to the Cityscape I end up renting out.” He paused and looked you over. “We are going to fight.”

You let his words wash over your and you simply nodded, giving him his cue to leave. When the door finally shut and Bakugou was gone, you sighed.

You definitely needed combat training but were not excited to face the fiery hothead again. You were absolutely sure he held a grudge and would put his all into beating you.

Reluctantly, you jotted down the time in your calendar and made notes for all following Wednesdays and Sundays to close off at least part of the day to training. You weren’t sure how long this would last considering you would rather face a wide variety of people a few times than consistently work with only one person. However, you were sure it would at least last a few sessions and that you would both surely help each other get better.

~~

After dinner, which was quite delicious and filling, you stopped Momo to tell her you wanted to sign up for dinner duty.

Delighted, the hero in-training took you to her room where her computer was and showed you the schedule.

Each day was color-coded. In the description were the people cooking and the type of cuisine they would make.

“Most days are balanced with good cooks and not as great cooks,” She explained. “We keep the cuisines here for variety, but the groups have to choose 2 weeks ahead of schedule what they will be making. That way we can buy them with enough time.”

Your eyes glossed over the screen and looked at the various cuisines. Most were nights were dedicated to Japanese food except Friday, which was dedicated to pasta, Tuesday, which was dedicated to American food, and Wednesday, which was dedicated to Chinese food.

“The groups can also change the cuisine if they want,” She added after seeing you intensely scanning the days.

“Yeah,” You mumbled out. “I’m just not sure if I should go with the cuisines that would be easier for me like Tuesday or Friday. It might be nice to work on the Japanese days because I would be learning.”

Momo nodded understandably. “I’m sure everyone would be happy to work with you. I would note though that every day except Monday has 3 people. You would even out that group if you chose to and learn Japanese cuisine.”

That was Bakugou’s day, you immediately noted.

You looked at the calendar schedule and saw that he was also set to be cooking with Sero on those days.

You hummed while debating your options. “Could I try out Mondays? Maybe if I don’t like it I could move the day?”

Momo eagerly nodded. “Of course!” She moved her computer closer to you and put your name in the schedule. “Do you have their numbers?”

“Just Bakugou’s,” You quickly replied.

Momo nodded and pulled out her own phone. “Let me give you Sero’s so you can make a group chat.”

Once the kind girl gave you his number, you tentatively put him into your phone and made a group chat with the three of you. “Thank you, Momo,” You spoke while standing up to bow.

Yaoyorozu bashfully replied with a “You’re welcome.”

After a brief goodbye, you left her room and made your way back to your own. Homework… you mumbled over and over in your head as if it would make you more likely to actually get things done.

Once in your room, you posted up at your desk, laptop in front of you. However, instead of doing anything important, you stared at the blank, black screen.

After debating your actions for a few minutes, you grabbed your phone from your pocket and unlocked it.

The group chat stared back at you as you thought about what to say. You knew it was important to start the conversation, but you had no idea how to. You bit your lips and tried to calm your nerves, knowing full well that there was no reason to be anxious. However, you still felt your nerves crawl up your spine.

After way too long, you finally typed out a small message.

Hey, this is Y/N! Momo had me join you both for dinner night on Mondays. Hope that’s okay and please let me know how to help!

You immediately put your phone on silent and tossed it onto your bed, telling yourself that you needed to focus on homework.

You opened your laptop up and grabbed your notebook and pen.

You sighed before beginning an assignment. You just needed to finish it tonight so you would have time to work on your hero costume tomorrow.

[koushisatori]

All you have to do is ask

It’s me again! This isn’t beta-read yet, but I’ll do so tomorrow after lunch!! But i need to get this out of my drafts asap and...well, here you go!!  Edit: 16.11.,13:10: I beta’ed it now and weeded out dumb mistakes (and made new ones, probably ) !  ♡ ～('▽^人)  

oikawa x f!reader

genre: small bit of angst, fluff

warnings: someone kinda trying to force themselves onto you??

word count: 3.4k

note: this was supposed to be a drabble, now look at what it turned out to be </3</blockquote>

____________________________________________________

Tooru was sure that he had saved at least thousands of people in his last life to deserve you liking him back

you didn’t play ‘’unreachable’’ but he had to out in some work for you

especially with his fan club being all over him all the damn time, 

but you never gave him any reason to doubt your intentions with him which is why he took wooing you very seriously

both of you actually spend a lot of time by just talking and getting to know each other due to that

for example: he liked taking you on cute little and spontaneous dates on volleyball-free afternoons and would then walk you home after

or on lunch breaks that you (at first) spend with him alone 

(sometimes he waits at your classroom door to pick you up if it’s manageable for him - aka if he’s not swarmed by people with confession letters)

later you both are consequently joined by Iwa, Mattsun, and Makki 

the last two loved teasing him with their ‘fun facts for lunch’

’’(Y/N)?’’ you hear Makki sing even before you can see any of the other three. next to you, Tooru groans in advance 

’’Did you know that ‘Kawa can reach a g’’ as soon as he’s eye to eye with an insect larger than your pinky finger?’’ the strawberry haired boy says, mattsun next to him wagging his eyebrows 

the professional that you are easily suppresses a grin, you merely chuckle amused 

’’Who isn’t afraid of bugs larger than that? There are way smaller things that could kill you!’’ you exclaim with wide eyes ‘’...and I’ll gladly channel all my bravery and…’’ you look around before leaning forward, the two boys following your example, intrigued by the secretive expression on your face ‘’…annihilate everything and everyone that might scare Tooru or make fun of hi’’ – ‘’WOAH, (Y/N)-‘’

they had tried to flirt with you just to fuck with Oikawa (so with no real intention) but they had to realize rather quickly that this was a hopeless task – you couldn’t tell that people were flirting with you unless they spelled it out

(literally that one meme;   you: ’’were you flirting with me, Tooru?’’ Tooru: did for the past half-year, thanks for noticing tho <3’’)

Don’t worry you know the setter well enough by now to be able to tell when he does, and really - only Tooru’s flirting matters to you

it also makes you blush furiously, now that you truly get it, but we’re not talking about that

Iwaizumi took you to the side one day while you were waiting for Oikawa to finish his training

he asked you sternly if you were sure that you would be able to handle days, weekends, and sometimes weeks in which Tooru would unintentionally prioritize Volleyball over you

said, that you had to find a balance on the fine line that was leaving him be with his training and stopping him from overexertion (and really ruining his knee)

after assuring that yeah, you would because you genuinely liked him, volleyball obsession and all, and that wanted to be with him, Iwa let go of any rest reservations he had had against you and joined the general teasing

Okay, moving on

as soon as his and your interest in each other became clear, you kept a clear distance from other males (and females, ‘yer that desired, as you should btw)

if they pushed it, you unmistakable stated that you’re not interested in other advances because you liked someone

Like??? Oikawa really just had to say the magic words at this point, you'd say yes in an instant

for god's sake tf is he waiting for?!!

despite you being obvious with your interest in the setter and disinterest in everyone else regarding this you constantly get approached by admirers

some people need it spelled out that you mean what you say, honestly

A thing Tooru liked so much about you was your kindness, but it also was the reason that - as already said - some people still thought they might have a chance

it’s not your fault, your natural charm is like...the 8th wonder of the world!!

due to your impeccable behavior and perfect grades, you obviously were the teachers’ favorite student to pick to help out other students

cue to: oh, look!! you're chosen again *sigh*

up until now, the tutoring never bugged Tooru too much, it was more like an itch he couldn’t scratch

but usually, they weren’t after school (giving up your lunch break, you’re a hero) and never awoke any rumors

your latest ’student’ seemed to think that he was close to ’’winning you over’’, though, that you were secretly but undeniably head over heels for him by now

’’I’ve heard that he plans on asking (Y/N) out today!’’ - ‘’No way! Even with Oikawa-Senpai obviously being interested in her?’’ - ‘’Yes!’’ - ‘’Death wish~’’

Tooru had to hear it in between classes and while he trusted you (and the last comment made him chuckle a bit), this was not the case for that guy

You: go home after class, Tooru, I need to give another tutoring session :(

of course, he wanted to hear none of that, especially with the hushed words fresh in his mind

meanwhile, you vividly imagined his annoyed expression reading it and the cute little huffing sound; you couldn’t help but smile softly to yourself </3

Tooru Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→: I’ll wait for you, (Y/N)-chan, Iwa-chan and me wanted to try out something anyway (^.~)☆

Tooru Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→: also, I waited to try out the sweets at the patisserie for too long to not eat my weight in cake twice today, so you better hurry if you want me to share with you

His answer clearly stating: I will wait for you, don’t take too long

Okay, maybe he was a bit jealous 

that this guy gets a reward – another hour with you alone - for being stupid ?? it obviously fed into a crazy fantasy and it was unfair

Oikawa reminded himself that he had no reason to be jealous, especially since he had yet to ask you out and make it official

(it had to be perfect and cute just like you, okay? no rom-com was able to prepare him for the real thing!!)

training – for the first time in years – dragged on endlessly

his mind kept wandering, and after the first 5 volleyballs to the head, courtesy of a very annoyed Iwaizumi, said one took matters into his own hands dragging his sulking best friend out of the gym

‘’If you’re jealous, Shittykawa, then fucking confess already.’’ Iwaizumi says with his no-bullshit voice, letting go of Tooru's jacket. 

While it was obvious that Oikawa is, in fact, super fucking jealous, he chuckles and puts on an easy smile. ‘’Silly Iwa-chan! I’m not- OUCH!’’ The brunet yelps, holding the back of his head and looking at his childhood friend with a pout. 

‘’First of all, fuck you, Shittykawa, for thinking I’m falling for your dumb act.’’ The ace growls, narrowing his eyes. ’’(Y/N) is a beautiful girl. Of course, Extras try to get close to and confess to her, you morron.’’ The spiky-haired let’s out a tsk-sound, seeing Tooru’s wide eyes. ‘’I at least hope you are aware that she is waiting for you to ask her out officially, right? It’s literally on you to put your foot over the line between a girl friend and your girlfriend. But if you take too long, she’ll eventually be fed up with waiting…so why in hell are you stalling?’’ Iwaizumi huffs, crossing his buff arms over his chest.

With a shrug, Oikawa looks up to the sky before his gaze travels down to settle on his feet, shuffling from side to side. ‘’I’m scared that making it official will do more harm than good, Hajime. She never said something else but…is she really fine with me forgetting basic things over Volleyball? Or will she leave me after a while like my last girlfriend? Because she realized Damn, he’s really into volleyball. I also don’t want to hurt (Y/N) by asking her to be mine and then…being me and screw everything up again.’’ Tooru whispers quietly, trying to hide the vulnerability while intentionally avoiding his best friends eyes. 

‘’You’re dumb, Tooru.’’ 

Well…that’s not what he was expecting Iwaizumi to do or say. A punch against his upper arm or chest maybe, or a kick to the shin – always with love but still painful enough to get the message across. But not a soft-voiced statement paired with a sigh. 

‘’I hate...’’ Iwaizumi says, waving his hand up and down. ‘’...why do I have to do...the emotionally charged pep talk.’’ He grumbles, pulling his hand over his face before he looks up directly into Oikawa’s insecure but also curious eyes.

’’You might not be aware of it, but things already are different compared to last time. (Y/N) does not just accept your passion, but supports you fully. With the amount of time she spends on the bench doing her homework and cheering for everyone when we do training's matches, while remembering our schedules and matches, she’s practically an inofficial second manager. By any means, she’s a perfect match to your madness, it’s scary.’’ he jokes, thinking of all the small things you do for his best friend that - in the end - make him trust you even more.

‘’But…what might be more important to you right now is that you’re not behaving like last time as well. You still are so freaking stupid and overexert yourself…but you check up on her whenever you take a water break. If it's asking in person or sending her a message. You make sure to have at least two free afternoons where you spend time with each other, which is two days more than you did last time by the way. You have that stupidly dopey smile on your face when you see Y/N. I mean…nothing ever breaks your focus after you set foot on the field and yet here we are, standing outside because all you do is mope around instead of playing!’’ The spiky-haired player huffs.

After a moment of silence, Tooru cries out an ‘’Iwa-chan, you do love me!’’ while draping himself over his best friend. ‘’Oi, Trashykawa!’’ the other protests with a fake angry voice, yet hugging the other back for a second before he pushes him off nonetheless. 

‘’Okay, now move your ass, the pinning you two are doing is a pain to witness.’’ Iwa says accusatory before going back into the gym, leaving Oikawa to make a decision. 

Hurrying through the gym to the changing rooms, Tooru nearly makes it out unseen until Yahaba is half asking, half yelling from the other side of the hall. ‘’Oikawa-san, where are you going?’’ 

With a wide grin and his signature peace sign (it’s for his own emotional support here, okay, his nerves are killing him), the Captain turns around to announce ‘’I’m finally getting myself a girlfriend!’’ before he quickly leaves his hollering teammates. 

(Oikawa was quite sure to hear Mattsun yell something like ‘All of you! Pay up!’ and Kyoutani muttering an ‘I’m leaving.’ somewhere in his vicinity.)

5 Minutes later, the brunet looks through all the classrooms in the hallway you should be in, teaching a good for nothing that was adamant about trying to steal you away from him. Tsk. 

Right after turning around the corner, Tooru hears a dull thud, followed up by a soft gasp that made his insides churn uncomfortably. That it’s immediately followed by a low, deep voice doesn’t help at all with calming Oikawas heart beat. He slowly creeps closer to the slightly ajar door to the room with the treacherous sounds. The soft whimper following was unmistakably you, and his heart suddenly felt like it was on the verge of breaking for a second.

Should he turn around and leave? Perhaps Iwaizumi was right with you being tired of waiting for him. Maybe you were tired and accepted someone else? 

Luckily, a gruff inner voice growls – surprisingly sounding like his best friend – and mentally slaps him. You never gave him a reason to doubt your affection! And if he had to fight for your affection then so it be! Also, you wouldn’t engage in something inappropriate out in public. There was a 99,9% chance of him misinterpreting everything due to his own insecurities, and you being uncomfrotable right now. Unacceptable. 

With his resolve strengthened again, the setter finally takes the last steps over to the door. Standing there, he finally could understand the words being spoken. Oikawa suddenly had a presentiment of what was happening inside.

Meanwhile, you were struggling unceasingly. ’’It…it is flattering that you…that you like me, honestly!! And…there are surely many other girls that would feel honored to be confessed to by you, but I like someone else, I’m sorry. Please, accept my choice!’’ you say, damming your voice for shaking and underminding your own statement.

’’Ah, ah, pretty girl, it’s not nice to lie.’’ the guy in front of you chuckles. The usage of such a pet name makes you cringe in disgust. There’s only one person allowed to give you tese kind of names. ‘’I know you like me, too. You with your cute little blush when you talk to me and lingering soft touches-‘’ 

A scandalized sound of protest leaves your lips. You were just short of stomping your foot. ’’I did no such thing! I-’’ But as before, your words meet a seemingly deaf ear. 

’’I will be the best boyfriend a pretty girl like you could ever wish for.’’ Moving closer, the guy slowly backs you up until you meet the chalkboard behind you. ’’Come on, give in.’’ He murmurs, hitting his hand against the board next to your head, which forces a scared whimper out of you. ‘’I’m all you need.’’

Stepping into the room, Tooru couldn’t believe his eyes and ears,. The blood in his veins slowly but surely starts to boil. 

’’Please, let me leave! I told you, I am not interested. I am with-’’ You plea softly, one hand pressed against the guys’ chest to stop him from coming any closer, – did he really try to kabedon you against the chalkboard? - while your other was hidden from his view. Even though you were trying your best, the distance between the two of you was insultingly sparse, the guy making up for the lack bodily closeness in general by leaning forward enough for your faces to be separated by only a few inches. You could probably feel his breath on your face. Tooru really felt like punching the guy.

’’What’s so special about the pretty boy anyway? He has many girls running after him to choose from, let me have you. I’ll treat you better! I have so much free time and I would spend all of it on you. Let me take you out for a coffee, pretty girl, or dinner. Hm? I’ll prove my words directly. I mean…he hasn’t even asked you out! It’s unfair how he is keeping you on the back burner, stringing you along. To you…’’ suddenly the boy moves closer, lowering his voice to a sultry murmur ‘’…and to m-‘’ 

’’That’s enough.’’ Oikawa says, his tone icy, sending shivers down the other male's spine. You on the other hand… 

’’Tooru…’’ you whisper, relief evident, as you watch him move closer to you as fast as humanly possible. Yet you still aren’t able to reach out. ’’Please, Tooru…’’ 

Upon hearing your soft whimper, his brown eyes follow yours to your other hand, realizing that said one is still in the firm grip of the guys' right. At that a clearly dangerous growl leaves the usually sweet brunet. ‘’If you don’t let go of her in the next two seconds and leave her be for good in 5, I can and will break your arm.’’ Oikawa threatens with an overly sweet, yet terrifying smile, wrapping his own hands around the guy's wrist, blunt nails pressing painfully into the sensitive flesh on the inside.

With a hiss, the guy finally pulls back his hand. It allows you to seek shelter behind the tall setters back. Your fingers tightly hold onto his shirt while you peek at the other from behind him. ’’Aww, come on, pretty boy,…’’ he says, voice provoking, the words clearly meant to degrade Oikawa. ’’…let me have some fun with sweets over there, and when I’m done you can have her all to yourself.’’ To top of his words, he winks at you. 

With the way he had tensed up the first moment, you half expect Tooru to suit the action to the word, and really break his arm...instead, Oikawa looks the other dead in the eye, while saying ’’Hey, (Y/N)-chan,? There’s that really sickening wretched smell in here, it’s kind of painful. I’d like to take you somewhere nice, will you get your things?’’

You hastily nod and do as you are told while Tooru continues to stare the other down, keeping his attention away from you and using the slighty height difference to his advantage. The moment you reach him, Oikawa finally lets go of the others wrist, grabbing yours instead. You tug him to the door as quick as possible, when suddenly life found its way back into the other. 

‘’Hey, what did you mean?’’ he asks, half angry, half clueless. Unable to accept his loss. 

Oikawa turns back one last time, a smirk settling on his lips while his eyes twinkle with amusement. ‘’I said, that a mouth breather as pitiful as you are is a disgrace to be in the vicinity of someone as amazing as her.’’ And with that, you both finally leave.

(Y/N)-chan…are you alright?’’ Tooru asks once you left the school grounds. His thumb drawing little circles on the back of your hand. 

You nod before you eventually look up, worrying your lip. ’’Thank you. I…I was really scared. Even though I'm sure that he would have done something…something…’’ you swallow down the nasty words, shuddering slightly. ’’I’m glad you came to save me, Tooru.’’ You finally settle on, pink coloring your cheeks. Beckoning him to lean down a bit by waggling your finger, you softly craddle his face and press a kiss to his cheek. The blush becoming more intense now with every passing moment.

Before you can pull back your hands, though, his had already found purchase on yours, keeping them - and you - in place. Everything about this moment felt right to him. Maybe now was the right time. ’’Pretty girl...’’ he murmurs, assessing your reaction. (He notes, pleased, that your blush intensifies, and your smile turns all giddy. He needs you to forget about that douchebag calling you that. He would repeat it until all you remembered was his voice using it.) ‘’I kind of really, really, really want to kiss you right now…’’ He whispers, the warmth of his cheeks telling him that he was most likely sporting a blush similar to yours. ’’…Will you be mine? Will you allow me to hold your hand? To kiss you silly? To steal bites of your food and make up for it with compliments and as many cuddles as you wish? Will you allow me to brag about you being my girlfriend and force you to wear my jersey to all my matches now and in the future?’’ His eyes didn’t leave yours for a second. He enjoyed watching yours light up as if he had just hung the stars in the night sky, or as if he had made you the best present a girl could wish for. 

’’Tooru…I thought you’d never ask…’’ you say with a smile so affectionate that it makes him feel mushy and warm all over. And then he finally closes the gap. 

The moment your lips meet for their first kiss is better than anything he had ever imagined. It isn’t a firework exploding, nor an unbalanced fight of passion and dominance. Instead, it’s gentle. A loving flow and exchange, wrapping you both in a blanket of warmth. A bubble just for the two of you. He understood what Iwaizumi meant with different, because – even though this relationship just started – he knows, that with you he had found a completely new world of comfort and love. Being with you already felt like coming home.

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 11)[Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted, look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Over the course of the next three days of Virgil’s captivity, Virgil would come to the conclusion that his captors were idiots.

This thought flickered to life once again as Logan leaned into the closet to point out another constellation on the ceiling, tottering unstably on his knees as his weight shifted forward and distracted by his enthusiasm.

They were alone in the prince’s room. Patton had left only a few minutes before to help his mother in the kitchen (less because she needed help and more to prevent her suspicion about why he’d spent so much time away in the last few days).

He wouldn’t be back for a while, and Virgil had full mobility in the closet. With Logan leaning over the threshold like that, it would be easy to kill him or even just incapacitate him. One rough yank on his arm would have him completely in the closet. Virgil had no question that he could pin him down so he couldn’t activate the restraints, and even if he managed to do so, he’d have been drawn close enough that Virgil could use his legs. He could either force him to take off the cuffs or, since they automatically went to the second setting when he left the closet, just deal with it until he managed to get away. It would just be so easy.

Yet, he did not act.

He just watched Logan as he leaned stupidly over an assassin while info dumping about stars.

This was the first day that Virgil hadn’t felt at all tired when he’d drank the provided nutrition and healing potion, though it had never affected him quite as much as it had the first day. Logan said that meant that his injuries must be healed. It was a weird feeling. He didn’t remember when the last time was that he wasn’t damaged in some way. Even before his grueling training, there’d always been bullies at the orphanage and he’d been the youngest and smallest in his age group.

He was also more well rested and fed than he had been in as long as he could remember. He felt better than he knew was possible today, and he suspected that he would only feel better after a bit more time under their care.

He told himself that was why he didn’t lash out now. He was waiting until he was as strong as possible to make sure his escape went as well as it could, even if it was a risk. They’d mentioned that the king would be gone for three weeks. After he returned, Virgil would surely be turned over to people much more capable of actually keeping him well trapped and less likely to feed him well, give him a nice place to sleep, and leave him without injury. It was a gamble to stay, because it was possible that he wouldn’t find another opportunity in time and would get handed over to his fate. Really, if he was being reasonable, he should get out now while he felt good and had a secured opportunity.

Still, he did not. He had not any of the times they’d given him the opportunity in the last few days.

Logan finished his sentence and leaned back out of the closet to safety. He still was speaking though in that soft happy tone. Logan liked the stars. He liked to talk about the stars, and Virgil found he liked to listen to him. They tended to end up in this position whenever Patton was away, just talking as Virgil laid in the prince’s closet.

Eventually, Logan’s latest story tapered out. There was silence then for a few moments. Virgil stared up at the fake stars on the ceiling, the stars that Logan had made for him when he really did not have to. Virgil had not been expecting lights in the closet, let alone ones so beautiful and thoughtful. Not ones with stories behind them. Just days ago, if someone had told Virgil the prince would be keeping him in his closet for the next few weeks, Virgil wouldn’t have expected a blanket let alone all of this.

He turned his head to look at Logan. “What?” Logan asked.

“Your magic’s very beautiful,” Virgil said.

Logan seemed pleased by the complement, lighting up almost as much as the stars he’d made. “Well, it’s just a basic light spell,” he said, “though I did make some adjustments to them and the dimmer was a bit more difficult. Anyone could do it with practice.”

Virgil shook his head. “They’re special, I think,” he said. “Your magic’s different than most people’s.”

“How so?” Logan asked curiously.

“It’s gentle,” he said. “Gentle and warm, like eating the warm soup you fed me a couple of days ago.”

“And other people’s magic feels different?” he asked.

Virgil nodded. “I’ve met a lot of magic users, but it always felt bad. Usually it hurts or makes you feel sick or just makes you uncomfortable. Even healing magic always felt like bugs nibbling at my skin, but the potion you’ve been having me drink in the morning feels… safe. It doesn’t hurt or make me want to cry. It’s just good.”

“Magic often has much to do with the caster’s intentions,” Logan said.

“I think you could poison me gently.”

Logan made an odd expression. “That…” he said, nose scrunched. “That is a strange thing to say.”

Virgil cocked his head. “Is it?”

“Yes!” Logan said, shaking his head. “You are far too comfortable with the concept of death for your age.”

“I’m fourteen,” Virgil argued. “That’s old enough to be sent on missions without a blood compulsion!”

“…A what?” Logan asked.

“A blood compulsion,” Virgil said. “You know, with a multrum.” Logan was frowning at him. “One works in your gardens and you’re a prince. You had to have at least seen one or two. They take a bit of blood and multrums process it into a little bead. Then you’ve got to do what your told or it hurts a lot.”

“I know what a blood compulsion is,” Logan said. “I am simply wondering who would put one on a fourteen-year-old.”

“They don’t,” Virgil said. “They stop putting them on people when they turn fourteen.”

“And exactly what is the age range for it?” Logan asked. Virgil was almost startled by the way his tone was quickly hardening. He’d never heard him be that harsh even when he’d first woken up in his custody. It made Virgil tense up.

“They take kids usually when they’re about 8 and it’s a year of training before you’re sent on a mission so 9-13,” he said.

“That’s horrible,” Logan spat so violently that Virgil flinched. Logan didn’t seem to notice. “They force children to kill under a blood compulsion?”

“Well, no one really wants to do it without one when they’re that little. They get scared, and usually try to chicken out so…”

“So, they torture them unless they kill someone.”

“I mean… it’s not. They have to agree to the deal.”

“And if they don’t agree to it?” Logan asked.

Virgil thought back to the second time they’d made him get a blood compulsion. It had been with the multrum before Janus, a girl by the name of Alina. He’d made the mistake of hesitating on his first kill and faced the consequences before finally giving in and doing the job. When the second mission had come around, Virgil hadn’t wanted to accept the blood compulsion.

That had been the first time they’d made him drink a binding potion. Logan seemed to be able to get an idea about it by the look on his face.

“So, your options were to be tortured, be tortured in a different way, or murder someone.” Logan looked at him. “You said your fourteen. Have you ever even killed of your own volition?”

“I… no,” he admitted, but quickly added, “but that doesn’t mean I can’t. I know what I’m doing.”

“That explains a lot about your personality and reactions so far.”

Virgil rankled at that for some reason. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

 Logan just stared at him for a long moment. “What they did, what they are doing isn’t right, you know?” he said.

Virgil blinked at him but said nothing. He became more and more uncomfortable in the silence that ensued.

“Would you like to learn more about magic?” he asked. “There are many uses other than to hurt. I can teach you a few basics if you’d like.”

Virgil was confused about the topic change but was relieved about it. “Uh.” He thought. “Sure. That would be… interesting.”

Logan smiled at him. “I’ll set up something and we can work with it in the next few days. What would you like to learn?”

“Um, I have no idea. What is there?”

Logan considered it for a moment. “We could do a hair color changing potion. Or perhaps a small protection charm or I can teach you to make fire shapes.”

“Protection charm,” Virgil said without hesitation.

Logan gave him a sad smile. “Of course. I’ll start showing you how to make them tomorrow and we can actually make some the next day.”

“Okay,” Virgil agreed.

“Would you like to hear more about the stars?” he asked. Virgil nodded. He once again leaned into the closet to point and Virgil once again did not move to attack. Nor did he attack when that afternoon Patton turned his back on Virgil for far too long when they were alone. Nor did he when they settled him into bed once again in the closet. He told himself it was strategic, but he knew it wasn’t.

Want to read more? Click below!

AO3 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15

[jtsfavslut]

Stages [4/6]

Description: In which a girl goes through six stages to realize and accept the fact that her marriage is going downhill.

Stage Three: Revenge

- Stages 1

- Stages 2

- Stages 3

- Stages 5

Description: Yeimy plans a way to confront Grayson about his affair, only she doesn’t want him to think she was affected.

Warnings: Yeimy goes psycho, cursing, threats, mentions of serial killers but it sounds funny.

Word Count: 2.6k+

After Grayson ended the phone call, you went back to the kitchen and cried.

You cried like a fucking bitch. But you had the right to. Someone just broke your heart without a tad bit of care. 

You felt disgusting for letting him touch you that way, even if it wasn’t your fault, he was the love of your life for the love of God.

You wiped your tears and with a few deep breaths, you looked as happy as ever, thanks to the powers of being a woman and childhood trauma. You walked into the room as if nothing happened, sending him death glares when he wasn’t looking. 

“Hey, whatcha eat?” he asked with a smile that made you sick to your stomach.

“A few fruit roll ups,” you replied casually, thanking those few theater classes you were forced to take in high school, giving you the ability to act casual. 

“Oh nice,” he replied and went back to his phone, while you glared the fuck out of his face.

Hatred wasn’t enough to describe what you were feeling for him at the moment. You despised him if that was enough, for betraying your trust, for playing you as if you were some kind of special edition monopoly. 

You stayed quiet for the rest of the night, on your phone until he finally went to bed. 

You knew he was a deep sleeper so you waited a few minutes to make sure he was really asleep and carefully grabbed his phone from the nightstand, typing in his dad’s birthday, unlocking it, and going to his recent calls. 

The last called being ‘love <3’ you clicked on the contact and your heart rate dropped immediately. 

You knew that number from the bottom of your heart, ignoring your feelings you checked the messages with that number, taking pictures with your phone, while your stomach was filled with disgust, hatred, anger, and hurt. 

You quickly put everything back the way it was, making sure to close all the apps, and placed his phone back on the nightstand while your mind ran faster than the speed of light. 

You didn’t cry. You couldn’t cry, you were too upset too, however, the punching bag that Grayson used to practice with at the little gym area in your basement felt a tad bit relieving. 

It was 2, almost 3 in the morning and you were still in your basement, crying and punching, beating the shit out of the innocent bag that your imagination made sure to place his and her face on, letting out all your anger on it.

You took a short shower, washing away some part of your anger and memories from the night, and made your way to one of the many guest rooms to try and get some rest. 

And a week later you were on your way to his office. Ethan had told you it was everyone’s day off today, including Grayson’s; While Grayson told you that he had two meetings today. 

You had made sure to pack all of your belongings before leaving the dreadful property, that was once your happy home. 

Your black and highly expensive Louis Vuitton heels made clicking sounds as you walked inside the building, your skin-tight black dress wrapped around your body oh so perfectly, hugging your curves exactly the way you wanted it to.

“Grayson, Ambar,” you said, walking inside his office to be met with Ambar straddling Grayson on his office chair while his lips were on her neck, that was until they heard your voice causing them to jump up and pull away from each other. “Lovely to see you both,” you sarcastically added and sat on one of the chairs in front of his desk. 

“What the-,” Amber began saying as she got off from his lap before you cut her off. 

“Ambar, you shut the fuck up,” you calmly said, moving up your glasses to your forehead. “You’re lucky I go to church now” you muttered.

“Yeimy what are you doing here?” Grayson had the nerve to ask, making you chuckle. 

“Oh, what a great question Grayson, I’m actually here to give you this” you smiled holding up a manila folder before placing it on his desk. 

“What is this?” he asked, picking it up from his desk. 

“Divorce papers. I don’t want to be associated with your pig cheating ass pendejo self,” you shrugged.

“Don’t talk to him that way,” Ambar shouted, getting closer to you, too close for your comfort. 

“You dear, are hilarious. You know how I get Ambar, and I suggest you shut your fucking mouth the fuck up before I have to remind you,” you said through gritted teeth while getting up from your chair causing her to take a step back.

“I’m not scared of you Yeimy,” she laughed, yet you managed to hear the nerves within her laugh, making you laugh. 

“I don’t want you to be scared of me, I just want you to remember about the time I almost went to jail because of you. Remember that? How I almost murdered someone because of you, because you pick fights and run away. Remember, how I slammed her head on the table. Because I sure know I do,” you said recalling a certain event from the past year, you don’t even remember what it was about, because it wasn’t your fight, it was her. She messed with the wrong people and someone had touched you and Karina making you join in and clean her mess while she went away. Luckily the girl didn’t press charges otherwise this would have been a different story.

“That’s just psychotic,” she scoffed and you shook your head. 

“Nah, I think it’s more Ted Bundy like, but that’s not the point,” you replied, getting fed up with the conversation.

“The point is you and you are dead to me,” you said pointing to her and Grayson noticing Grayson had an unreadable look on his face. 

“My lawyer will be here on Friday to pick up those papers, and I expect them to be signed by then Grayson. Don’t waste any more of my fucking time,” You added picking up your purse and putting your glasses back on your eyes.

“Have a nice drive back to your home Grayson, espero que te pudras en el Infierno, hijo de puta. ( I hope you rot in hell son of a bitch. I'm sorry Lisa I love you) You smirked as you walked away swaying your hips as your hair bounced with every step you took.

You finally reached the parking lot, where Grayson’s freshly painted Buggati laid, the car that he had rambled on and on about until he finally got it. 

While you happened to have a nice fresh bat in your hand, that accidentally busted all of his windows open.

“What are you doing you psycho,” Ambar said running over to you while Grayson stood frozen by the entrance. “You think you’re Harley Quinn” she shouted, ripping the bat off of your hands. 

“I mean she is hot, so thanks” you shrugged, and pat your dress to get any pieces of glass off. 

“Grayson’s mine now, and you’re mad just admit it,” she said causing you to laugh.

“I feel bad for you, that man couldn’t care less about you, you wanna fucking see?” you asked and she lifted up one of her brows challenging you. 

You quickly wrapped your left hand around her neck, slamming her against the car while her face was filled with fear. “You see, he didn’t move an inch,” you said and let go of her and wiped your hands on your clothes. 

“Just remember something Ambar. I made you who you are today. I begged Grayson to let you work here, I let you stay at my house when you got kicked out of yours, I fucking fed you when you didn’t have enough money to even buy a pack of Ramen. And I don’t like to talk about the things I do for people because I do them out of love, but just remember that without me you wouldn’t be shit today. Without me, you would have no job, no house, and no car. But I wish you well,” you said and began to walk back to your car. 

“I wish you both well, have a nice fucking life, Dolan. Oh and you might want to do laundry, all your clothes smell like me, actually the entire house does,” you said before getting in your car and speeding away to who knows where. 

You couldn’t go back to your house since it was no longer yours, Karina was at work. And all hotel check out started at three and it was barely 1 pm leaving you with only one choice. 

“Get in Grant,” you shouted at Ethan through the open car window. 

He got in the car and didn’t speak, noticing your tense state, and he didn’t speak for the rest of the drive to your favorite spot. The beach. 

“He cheated on me E. He cheated on me with Ambar,” you cried once you put the car in park and took off your seatbelt. 

“I’m sorry Yeimy, I’m so fucking sorry,” he said and his arms immediately wrapped around you pulling you closer to him. 

He let you cry on his shoulder until there were no more tears left for you to cry. 

You lifted your head off his shoulder and he got out of the car, walking over to your side and opening your door. 

“Come on, take off your shoes,” he said once he noticed you were wearing heels, you quickly bent down and took them off, carefully throwing them inside your car. 

He took your hand and led you down the sand, where he found a nice rock for you both to sit in. 

“I don’t know if you want to talk about it, but I’m here to listen if you’re willing too,” he softly said as you laid your head on his shoulder once again. He sent a quick text to Karina to let her know what was happening and she replied that she would be there as soon as possible.

“It was so obvious E. So fucking obvious, he would leave for work three hours early and come back at three am with lipstick stains all over his collar, he wouldn’t kiss me anymore, he wasn’t even wearing his ring. And I saw all of it. I saw it all, but I pushed it to the side like a dumb bitch. And then he returned back to his normal self for about a week, and everything was alright, and I know this sounds nasty, but we had sex one night and I went to get a snack and when I came back he was on the phone with her. Telling her how he only did it so that I would lay off of him. And I cried for hours E. And what hurts the most is that I still love him,” you ranted but he listened. 

He listened to every word you said because you were important to him and you were hurting because of his twin. He wanted to punch him so badly for hurting you. The only one that knew him for who he was, the one that wanted nothing for the best for him, the one that left it all behind just so that you could be there for him, to be there when he needed you the most. He couldn’t understand why he would do such a thing. 

He wanted to know what was going through his brother’s mind. But at the same time, he didn’t even want to see his face in pictures. 

“Yeimy, I know everything I’m going to say isn’t going to help much, but it’s the truth. I have no fucking idea of what is going through his mind right now. And I hope he comes to his senses soon, even if it’s too late. And I know that as his brother I should be defending him, but I can’t. I can’t because this is his mess not mine, and the same way he got himself into it he can get himself out of it. However, Karina and I are going to be with you every step of the way because we love you and you don’t deserve any of this. Hell, no one should go through this. And as for Ambar, you knew I never fucking liked her, her vibes were always off. And she should be thankful because you helped her when no one else did. You’re a good person Yeimy and you’re gonna get through this, I know you can” he reassured you giving you a tight hug making you feel a bit better. 

You sat in silence until Karina arrived, where she talked to you and let you cry on her shoulder just when you thought you were done with crying. 

“You know, I just want to know what I did wrong,” you sighed looking into the horizon, where the sun seemed to be getting closer to meeting the ocean water. 

“You did nothing wrong, bebe. You did exactly what a wife should do. Now where is E, I’m hungry,” she said, asking about her husband's whereabouts. He had left about 20 minutes ago to go get food for all of you.

“I don’t know, he should be here soon tho,” you shrugged as your hand played with some sand. 

“Yeimy, y dónde te vas a quedar?” Karina asked where you were going to stay since it was pretty obvious you couldn’t go back home.

“In a hotel until Thursday, I went apartment hunting the day after his phone call, y encontre uno, caro but it’s LA so you know. (and I found one, it’s expensive)” you shrugged and pulled out your phone to show her your apartment. 

“It’s so cute Yeimy, how many rooms?” she asked, scrolling through the pictures. 

“Three rooms, it’s the only one that was available, and it’s only three thousand which is not that bad,” you shrugged and she nodded her head.

“You have money, and you’re working at Vogue now. I love having rich friends,” she joked, making you laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Ethan asked from behind, making both of you jump up, he sat down handing out burgers from some restaurant he liked. 

“Nothing, just that Yeimy is rich. Also, did you see her new apartment?” she asked him, unwrapping her food and taking a bite.

“No so show me,” he said and you handed him your phone with the pictures. “How are you gonna get your jeep there, you can only drive one car at the time you know?” he asked, making you chuckle. 

“One of ya’ll can take it there for me, and I’ll just drive this one,” you shrugged referring to the car you took here, a Tesla that Grayson insisted on you getting. 

Karina said she’ll take it for you, and you ate your food in silence, the only sounds coming for the animals and the waves.

After that, you went to your hotel and cried. 

You cried until you fell asleep. (me as fuck)

Stages 5

Tags:  @angelgrayson @rhyrhy462 @333dolans @vinylhazza @foxglovedolan @dolanissues @mercurygrant @persistence-ofmemories @dolansficsandpics @blindedbythelightt @kinkygrays @pineappledols @the-evolution-of-stupidity @evergreendolan @beatement-l @graydolan12

[riotwritesthings]

Ok I was actually tagged in a bunch of these year-end-writing-things, so I’m just gonna combine them all haha thank you @crownofstardustandbone​ and @thursday-knight​!!!

Total Completed Stories:

53(?!?!?)

Total words:

On AO3: 416,521

Total including WIPS and unposted things: 588,500

Fandoms written in:

.... Just MCU ahaha

Top 5 By Word Count:

Road Hazards

It Lingers Too

I Feel It Too

A Work in Progress: You and I

The Taste of You

Top 5 By Kudos:

Melt into Me (Your Words Are My Own)

Tony Learns Something New

Morning People

Baby Crazy

Emerald Ivy (Wrapped Around My Skin)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?

Definitely more, and yet almost none of them were the fics I expected to work on haha

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Yes definitely, I was really nervous to post the MCD fic, obviously, (until I come back), but I feel like the biggest ‘risk’ was stretching out of my comfort zone for the Bound to You series with @crownofstardustandbone​, it’s definitely the most emotional and REAL fic, I feel, for whatever real means in this context haha.

Do you have any fanfic goals for the new year?

Maybe actually write that Stripper Tony story? Or any of my other many many WIPs and ideas?! IDK don’t look at me!!

For real though look forward to some more skinny!steve coming up in the nearish future 👀

Most popular story of the year?

Oooohh That’s a tough one to judge, but I would have to say Melt Into Me, which makes me so so happy because I worked really hard on that one, put a lot of thought into basically every part of it, and I’m so happy with how it came out

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:

Road Hazards. It’s just still one of my favorites, if you like classic road trip tropes and banter and “awkward silence to bantering friends to mutual pining morons to lovers” vibes, all fluff all the time, then give it a try maybe! It’s also the longest stand alone fic I’ve written, and I’m still like damn how’d I do that

Most fun story to write?

Baby Crazy! I will shamelessly admit that I cracked MYSELF up writing that fic

With a very close runner up of Bound to You, because working out the details and planning and just talking about this verse is a constant joy and I’m so happy Stella dragged me into this! ❤️ (by suggesting it, that’s basically all it takes haha)

Most unintentionally telling story:

...... definitely Melt into Me ahaha my praise kink and acts-of-service-love-language popped out HARD in this fic, and that’s probably one of the reasons it’s in my top favorites. But I mean for real, my husband regularly pats my head and tells me I’m doing a good job and I go melty  everytime ahaha

Biggest disappointment?

Probably just all the ideas that I haven’t had time to get to yet, but hey I’ll get to it all eventually! Maybe!

Biggest surprise?

Probably how big of a hit the Bound to You series has been, I really expected it to be a kind of niche interest thing, and I’ve been just overwhelmed by the amount of people who liked it, and by the amazing people I’ve met because of that verse 🥰

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Oh Jeez ok I’m going to do my best here but WOW I wrote a lot this year ahaha

Melt Into Me (Your Words Are My Own) - WinterIron, E, aka the praise kink fic

Bucky has a new strategy for getting Tony to take proper human care of himself. Tony has never been so well fed, hydrated, thoroughly rested, and confused in all his life.

That doesn’t mean he wants it to stop, and it’s amazing how many boring adult things Bucky can get him to do just by patting his head and calling him ‘good boy’. Right up until Tony possibly ruins everything.

This fic just holds a very special place in my heart, I swear I put more thought into this than any other fic, the gradual build up and framing it just the way I wanted and making sure every scene was absolutely SOAKED in pining. As I like to say, it is Softe, but in a Very Intense way.

Bound to You - WinterIron BDSMverse, E, aka my current obsession

Look. I just love this series. I love everything about it, I love that it lets me dive a little deeper into emotions and such than I maybe normally do, in my usual cracky-porn style. This is definitely the slowest burn I’ve ever written, and I am loving every second of it and really REALLY looking forward to what we have coming up next! And of course, a big part of that love is just from how much fun I have working on it with @crownofstardustandbone, bounding ideas back and forth and brainstorming and making joking what-ifs that we end up falling in love with.

Baby Crazy - WinterIron, E, aka is it egotistical to laugh at my own jokes?

For some reason, the children of New York love Bucky Barnes. It’s heartwarming to witness, and it’s making it really hard for Tony to ignore his gigantic crush on the man.

Especially because Tony can’t stop suggesting they maybe have a baby together. The rest of the Avengers just want a vacation.

My favorite part of this fic is just how many people told me it made them actually laugh out loud, that’s basically my favorite thing to hear. All the friendships and team dynamics were so much fun in this one, and I will admit that I regularly reread it for a giggle

A Series of Learning Experiences - SteveTony, E, aka smol Steve with the big ol’ monster cock

Look. This series isn’t my fault. Stella put the idea of Skinny Toppy Steve in my head and now the little bastard lives there making filthy demands. This series is a totally different type of challenge too, in that I try to make it as Absolutely Filthy as possible. I regularly poke my friends like “hey is this filthy enough? SHOULD I UP THE FILTH FACTOR?!” It is my ode to smut with feelings, and I have so much fun with it haha

until I come back (from the dead for you) - WinterIron, E, aka the choose your own ending fic

Bucky meets Tony at a dive bar. He can’t deny that there’s something between them, but Bucky is also leaving soon, and he doesn’t know when he’ll be back. He only knows that he’ll think about Tony the entire time he’s gone, that as soon as he’s stateside again he’s going to take Tony on an actual date.

(Except he doesn’t come back.)

(But coming back takes a little longer than he expected, and he comes back a little more broken.)

Mostly I’m super proud of myself for actually managing to write the super sad MCD ending that I set out to, even if I did have to write the happy ending at the same time to get through it hahaha. I do love that people can choose the sad or happy ending without missing anything, but I do have to admit there are some parallels I’m really proud of that only show up if you read both versions

[weeklyfangirl]

Frat Boy Pt. 21

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 (1), part 7 (2), part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13 , part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19 , part 20

HI LOVIES. Please enjoy a Friday update on the Frat Boy universe. This one is a bit of a breather after the TUMULTUOUS ANGST of the last chappie. Shorter than my usual, but it’s all the chapter needed. Tons more y/n and Harry interaction on the way in the next! Have a safe and happy day loves xx

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Things I want:

Live a life that helps others

Financial freedom

Experience a great love

Visit the the Pincio Gardens in Italy

To have more dreams and fewer nightmares

Doodle more

Acquire a first edition book, either because an old  friendly man who owns an antique bookshop decides to give it to me in a bonding moment, or because I have accomplished #2 and I am celebrating being a Boss Bitch

To be happy

Please note: not necessarily in that order

 It was taped above my desk, waiting for me to bring it in to the next session. I hesitated to write number 6. It was a dream I hardly entertained after committing my scholarly life to pursue medicine. I used to love to doodle. All the time. Since elementary school. I doodled so much my mom dedicated a wall in the house to my illustrations. She hung a sign above it that affectionately said “Y/N’s Doodles.” Seriously, you couldn’t get me to stop. Even if it was gross sappy sketches of my crush Billy who I would NEVER show on the playground at recess.   

 My doodling stopped how these things normally do. Because life grew busier than anything else, and the sketchpad and easel my dad had bought for me at a garage sale became ignored, collecting dust in the corner of my room. At some point, it’d become a year since I’d drawn anything, and then it was two, and three, and by this point I’d realized I was the one who’d need to create her own stability in life and medicine was the more logical fit. It wasn’t that I didn’t see the value in drawing anymore, I just had other things take up my time. It became a comfort just knowing I used to draw. Paul had paved his way, and now I was on my way to do the same. At least with medicine, my soul felt fed. It was almost comfort enough. 

  “oH WE GOT A ROGUE ONE.” 

 A flying toenail hit my eye. 

 “WHAT THE-” I flailed my arms, as though there were a thousand more coming. Renny’s mouth opened in shock, her guilty body hunched over her bent leg. Clippers in hand.  

 “Sorry!!” Renny burst up laughing.

 “oH MY GOSH CAN YOU DO THAT OVER A TRASH CAN OR SOMETHING?!” 

 “IT HAD A MIND OF ITS OWN!!” she screamed back. 

 I blinked rapidly, my left eye watering up and spilling painless tears. “Well I’m going to have conjunctivitis at the studio later. Or I’ll be stumbling in blind.” I wiped it away.

 I heard another clip and she put up her hands with another giggle. 

 “All done. And you won’t stumble, I’m going to be there.” Renny extended her leg, her perfectly trimmed foot nearly touching the ceiling.

 “You’re just going to solicit Zayn to be his next subject.” 

 “Maybe,” her grin grew devious. “But also because I want to see if he captured the angelic beauty and complex nymph nuances of my best friend.” 

 I put a hand to my chest, still aching from uncertainty. “Honored.” 

 “Want to watch another episode until it’s time to go?” 

 This whole lazy morning had been an OC Housewives bingefest. She’d seen it on my homepage and had a complete spazz, twitching whilst proclaiming but i’ve been trying to get you to watch this show for YEARS!! When she saw the old season I was on, though, she didn’t have to question why her pestering had miraculously worked. She didn’t mention him aloud besides giving me a pointed look. And so, we watched it, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to see anything about Harry right now. It’d hurt more than I thought to walk away from him last night, and to see how sad he looked when I did. 

 After last night, he hadn’t posted anything to social media. He’d called, twice, but I knew he was drunk, or worse, and I was tired, and whatever he would say he could tell me in the morning. Even though I knew he wouldn’t. 

 And he didn’t. 

 And therein lay the problem. 

 It hurt to see his family on my little box of a computer screen, weird to see his life and get glimpses of his childhood. I felt like a hacker spying on home videos. But then I reminded myself that thousands of people had already done the same. At this point, it was just… morbid curiosity.

 “Nah, I don’t know if I can handle any more of that right now. Dr. Rhinecuff is going to yell at me if I don’t return these scanned copies to him by Monday.” 

 “Ew, he smells like meat.” 

 “RENNY!!” 

 “I’m just saying. That one time I went with you it smelled like pastrami in his office. He has a PhD, but isn’t with-it enough to buy air freshener.”

 “He likes pastrami sandwiches, let him live.” 

 She scrolled on her phone, not bothering to respond, and my gaze turned to the window. 

 “Hey Renny?” 

 “Hm.” 

 A bird flew close to the glass, halting just before it hit it, then zooming off in the opposite direction. “What’d you do when your parents were fighting?” 

 “Ummm…” I knew the question registered in her mind when she stopped scrolling, suddenly concerned. “Are your parents okay?”

 “Yeah. I mean, kind of.” I glossed over it, not caring to get into the bitter details. “I was just curious.” 

 “Uhh..” She plucked at the soft cotton of her cotton candy pajamas that were fraying at the knees. “I lost my virginity to Zach,” she half-laughed.   

 “Zach? Neighbor boy Zach?” 

 Renny nodded. She always sounded a little sad when she talked about him. Zach was the hot college boy who shared a backyard fence with Renny, the girl who may or may not have used her kitchen stool to peak over and see him workout on the grass every summer he came home. I’d known they’d slept together. I just didn’t think he was her first. 

 “I just tried to be out of the house as much as I could,” she said. “Found my true love Mary J.” 

 “Oh.” 

 “It was shitty, but I’m glad I got it over with.”

 “The divorce or your virginity.” 

 “Both,” she chortled. “Why what’s up? Are you sad or something? I have a j in my drawer.” 

 “No, no, I’m fine.” Mostly I was just wondering what it must be like to feel so sexually liberated. In my house sex wasn’t talked about. At all. The inevitable sex scene in every other movie would result in my dad blaring out “WHAT KIND OF MOVIE IS THIS!” in an attempt to make it less awwkard, but having it backfire and only make it horrendously more awkward. I wasn’t saving my virginity for anyone in particular, but after all those romance novels, I wanted it to be… something. I wanted to feel something towards the person where it would justify something I’ve kept to myself for so long. I wanted it to be intense. I wanted it to be like the books. Like a Frank Sinatra song that swept up your heart and transported you back to a time of gentlemen and cigars and women in long evening gowns with fur coats and martinis. 

 “I wish I could just get it over with,” I confessed. One half of me screamed YOU’RE IN YOUR TWENTIES HAVE ALL THE SEX while the other half said YOU’VE WAITED THIS LONG DAMN IT HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER. I didn’t know which part of me was compromising more. 

 Renny leaned in, quick. “Would you do it with Harry?” 

 Like the flip of a switch, I remembered the sensuous heat of his body against mine, wrapping me up and pressing me against him where we just fit. And I couldn’t imagine how much better it’d feel to be even more connected to him. 

 “Maybeeee…?” 

 But then there was last night. 

 I cringed. No matter how with me he’d seemed… he couldn’t have been present after mixing whatever the hell he took and a handle of alcohol. Did I really want someone like that? Someone who could only give a shell of themselves? 

 “No, I wouldn’t. Or- ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know if it could ever mean as much to him.” 

 Renny nodded. “I mean, don’t let him pressure you, obviously. If he does, I’ll kick his baby maker smack into his prostate. Prostate. See, anatomy. You taught me that.” 

 “Haha, no, he’s not like that.” My brows stitched. I was confused why he wasn’t more like that, actually. We’d known each other for several months now and he hadn’t even put a finger in me. When I thought about it, it actually frustrated me. Don’t pressure me to do anything, but I wanted to be pushed to do something. I was never the bold one in areas like this. 

 Not that I should be so willing to do anything with him anymore anyways. Something shifted in me when I’d seen him last night. It wasn’t a shift I could easily describe, but it’d set me a foot apart from my heart. A bit of me was shocked that it had happened so suddenly. 

 But this shift was new, and my heart still wanted what it wanted. I knew that if I watched any more OC Housewives with Harry’s toddler curls and surfer tan, I’d be sucked right back into speculating about what our future kids could look like. And if I saw him? 

 You were right, Harry. You are fucked. 

 I cringed again. That was harsh. That was very very harsh. 

 I didn’t know if I’d have the courage to apologize. What if my pheromones went berserk and magnetized me to his side??

 Renny was right.

 I needed therapy. 

 The clippers were tossed back on my desk.

 “Thanks,” she said. “Have you started on your DG Double P yet?” 

 DG Double P = Renny Speak for DG Pretty Please. 

 I groaned. “No. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, honestly. I have to-”

 “NO!!! Don’t tell me. We’re not supposed to tell each other.” Her hand extended in panic.

 “Fine. I can keep a secret.” 

 I was getting a little too good at that lately.

 She moved onto her belly, splaying her arms out in a dramatic fashion, face squished against the comforter. “Isn’t it just killing you inside.” She was dead serious. 

 “Yeah, more than you know.” 

 And I was serious, too. 

 --------------------------------------

 I wasn’t expecting people to dress up as much as they did. Donned in my only pair of yoga pants and a chunky white sweater, I walked arm-in-arm with Renny past girls in cocktail dresses and guys in button-downs. 

 Something that sounded like a baby’s cry filled my ears, but it was gone as soon as we walked through the doors to the on-campus gallery.  . 

 “Woah did you hear that?” 

 Renny nodded, tossing her head back. “There’s a baby somewhere.” 

 It reminded me of the bodiless screams in my nightmare. In my chunky sweater, I shivered undetectably.

 The on-campus gallery rotated exhibits throughout the year, but this time, student sculptures were on pedestals, nightmarish portraits hung on the walls, and red and orange tapestries swooped down and across the ceiling in a cirque-du-soleil moment as if to secure us beneath fire. Some students had separate booths, but other pieces of work trailed seamlessly into the next. 

 A tree made from photographs and newspaper took up the center of the space. Zayn had been so adamant about his muse having life, I wondered if that was the focus of this exhibit - to capture natural life. But I suppose all art did. 

 “It’s the circle of life exhibit,” Renny stated, as if reading my thoughts. 

 “How’d you know that?” 

 She held up a pamphlet she must’ve grabbed from the entrance. 

 I quickly scanned the room, hoping to find Zayn quickly so I could skip out just as quick. 

 Several of my professors were here, including Dr. Rhinecuff. When he saw me, I raised my hand, but he raised his cup of red wine awkwardly and looked away. 

 My hand wavered. 

 Odd. 

 Zayn was standing by the tree, speaking with an older woman. Her skin was a rich brown, short hair hidden beneath a chic scarf. The man beside her looked around the same age with graying facial hair, a pocket hanky, and beaded bracelets. Art professors. 

 I caught his gaze, and he gestured me over. 

 “Y/N, these are my instructors. David and Ebony.”   

 Their eyes lit up in recognition. “He did you a great justice,” David said, gray moustache twitching with the words.

 Ebony beamed. “Oh yes, a piece was already sold. He’s going to be the next big wig before he graduates,” she gushed. “Zayn, I’m sure you’ll be splitting the profits with the heart of the piece.”

 She gestured to me and his smile widened, but my stomach sank faster. 

 “I didn’t know these pieces were going to be sold.”

 Ebony sensed my concern. The wine in her glass swirled. “We thought allowing the pieces to be shown and auctioned was a good way to replicate what many of them should be doing once they graduate. The whole department gets involved, and these kids put in a lot of work, and the reputation of starving artists isn’t something we want to buy into here.”

 I nodded. “I mean, that’s great. That’s… really amazing.” 

 Zayn couldn’t meet my eyes. He knew. He could sense my hesitance, too. 

 “Now he can finally afford a nice dinner to take you out!” David proclaimed. 

 We were all quiet for a minute. “You know, for a thank you dinner,” David covered up. Zayn’s brows scrunched and he shook his head a bit, not knowing where David’s comment came from. 

 “Do you do this regularly?” Ebony asked, steering the conversation away from an awkward moment. 

 My ears pricked up when I realized she was looking at me. “Excuse me?” 

 “Well I was just thinking…” a light laugh lifted as if her idea would be outrageous. “Would you mind sitting in for one of my classes on Monday? Our model had a sudden death-” 

 “My God,” David proclaimed. 

 Ebony waved her hand. “-in his family. I haven’t called to replace him yet.”

 It quieted as they looked at me, waiting for a response. “Oh, I don’t… I don’t usually do this. At all. It was a chance thing.” 

 “Luck be the artist.” David raised his glass. 

 Ebony followed suit, looking at my empty hand. “You just going to let her stand there without a drink?”

 “Yeah, Zayn. What kind of treatment is this?” I teased. 

 He did a slight bow. “Apologies. We’ll walk to drinks, immediately.” He pulled us away, leading us further into the showroom as his head dipped low to my ear. “Renny just passed us to meet Felix and them. They’re through here.” 

 We stepped under an archway that led into a darker-lit room, but his hand stopped me beneath the nook. “Did yeh notice anything?”

 Yeah. I was noticing how close we were in this archway. He saw my eyes start to squint in thought and he turned me around to face the room we’d just left. 

 “Look closer.” 

 My eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find some sort of person, or pattern he could be referring to. With a brief seize of my heart, I expected to see somebody from the gang. 

 “Look at the artwork, Y/N.” His breath warmed my skin. 

 The paintings all seemed to be bright, though sticking to red, orange, blacks, and grays. Wait, forget a pallette pattern. The next painting had blue and purple, too. One sculpture looked like a writhing ghost, twisting and reaching for something above. Or maybe it was an unearthed tree root. Despite all the bold colors, there was something off-putting about how bright they all were. It wasn’t a soothing brightness. It was almost violent. The orange and red writhing tapestries warped the ceiling into something hot. 

 “Is it hell?” I chortled, but quickly quieted. I expected him to take offense, but his hand went lightly around my waist with a small smile.

 “Could be. See-” his arm extended out to scan the perimeter “-all this art is supposed to represent death, but challenge the notion of it through color.” 

 “How so?” 

 “Yeh know it’s usually your blacks, and your grays, s’depressing shit. But we’re born from death. Before life, there was nothing, but something. It’s bold and necessary and there, and no one really knows whatever comes before. Or after.” He looked at the room, taking a sip of wine. I watched as he swallowed, and I imagined the wine running down. “What is death but an uncertain existence.” He said the thought almost happily, looking at me with a slight smirk. “Could be anythin’.” 

 He took a deep breath, letting his hand touch the top of the archway. It was then that I noticed it wasn’t just plain drywall. A collage of photographs ran all along the inside. 

 He wasn’t as tall as Harry, but his hand still reached the top, scuffing across a picture of an African landscape taped over a toddler eating fruity pebbles. 

 “They’re pictures. Everyone donated one,” he said. 

 A strand of words were painted over the collage, running from one end of the archway to the other, and I tilted my head back to read it. “Things... that…. make... m..e …...feel alive.” 

 “Everyone was able to design their space in order to control, to some extent, how their art was perceived. Everyone was a part of the transition space.” 

 “Very nice,” I noted, slightly put-off. I hadn’t been expecting this art show to be so… professional. “Zayn, this is amazing. Like, really, truly, professional-grade stuff is happening. The presentation, the pieces, everything.”

 His smile grew wider, putting cool hands over my eyes. I flinched, but let him. 

 I felt him come closer. 

“Listen now,” he urged. 

 I listened, but I wasn’t sure for what. There was the familiar busy rumble of people mingling, parents visiting their kids, and professors droning on about the talent of their students. But it was chatter. I couldn’t make out one conversation over another. I shrugged up against his other hand that was atop my shoulder. 

 “Sometimes you need to change where you’re planted to understand.” 

 I hoped he could see my cross expression because I couldn’t tell if he was bullshitting me right now. It’d been a day. It’d been a night. And I wasn’t in the mood for more philosophical ramblings - especially about death. “I don’t know what you mean,” I sighed. 

 “Meaning I have to move you closer to the speakers.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Jus’ keep your eyes closed, okay?” 

 I nodded. His hand moved, tilting my head to its side. Eyes still closed, I became self-conscious imagining people trying to move past me, and here I was, planted, eyes closed in the middle of the archway. My cheeks heated. It was unnerving knowing people could see me when I couldn’t see them. And anyway, I must’ve looked ridiculous. 

 “What do you hear?” he urged. 

 “I hear a lot of people talking,” I griped. 

But right when I was about to open my eyes-  

 I heard a familiar chirping through the chatter. 

 “Birds?” I opened my eyes. 

 “Observance can be taught, sometimes.” Zayn leant back, looking mighty proud of himself. 

 “Why are there birds?” 

 “We’re entering life,” he smiled, backing into the space. I tipped my wine back, several long gulps lightening my step as I followed him. Immediately, I noticed much more natural, earthier tones. For being a room of life, it was surprisingly darker than the prior room.

 Renny, Felix, and Andre were huddled in the center where a makeshift wall-on-wheels covered in vines divided the room in half. 

 My eyes widened, trying to adjust to the dimness. “It’s a lot darker in here.” 

 “All intentional. They decided to play with light in here. People usually think of life being bright ‘n that, but it’s also when we experience varying degrees of darkness. There’s a balance to things and the trouble is finding it.” Understanding laced his voice as his dark eyes bore into mine, almost completely black. One look from Zayn and I was reminded of all the weight I’d been carrying. I fidgeted, uncomfortable seeing myself in his eyes. 

 “Y/N, get over here!” Renny called. My shoulders visibly relaxed. My saving grace. “You didn’t tell me you did this,” she said lowly as soon as I got close enough, shocked excitement barely contained. Her giddy smile gave it away though. “Miss sexy secret keeper over here.” 

 “What do you mean?” 

 She playfully poked my sides, but Andre and Felix avoided my gaze. Something wasn’t right. And it stirred my stomach, my body already knowing, somehow. 

 I turned in slow motion, the charcoal drawings in my peripherals stopping me in place. Framed amidst the vines, my face was etched onto paper, scrunching and twisting in various expressions. But my body was attached and twisting, too. And it was bare, bent over, spread out, laying down… My eyes scanned over them a dozen times in a second. 

 I was naked. 

 In all of them. 

 One was titled “21st Century Love.” In this one, I faced the viewer, but looked past them, sorrowful eyes, brows furrowed, breasts I’d never shown on full display. A hickey or two on my neck. A painful sting gripped my chest. I looked sad. I looked so sad.  

 Tunnel vision, a blurred Renny rushed down to the floor, and a distant part of me registered something wet splatter on my feet. 

 The wine had dropped.

 I’d dropped it. 

 I was trapped in a shell. My body was numb. 

 “Babes, you okay?” Renny asked, her voice somewhere far away. Somewhere outside the shell, her voice drowned in the busy rumbling, with the birds, with the watchers. People were watching me now. I was being watched. “Felix, grab some towels!” she barked. 

 I looked horrified, towards Zayn, but changed my mind just as fast. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t even breathe. 

 He didn’t know me at all. He could stare at me for a thousand sessions and paint every crevice, sunspot, blemish, and mole and still not see me. How was an artist this blind? How could he not know that this was the last thing I could ever want? How could he picture me so… intimately?

 The paintings seemed to swirl into one before bouncing back out into their separate exposees. 

 Because that’s what it was. 

 An exposure. 

 A stranger could pay to have me in their home. 

 The floor spun, vision spotting. 

 My lungs tightened, tearing me away from Renny, from Felix, from Andre. From Zayn, the artist who painted a confused girl so unashamed. So honestly. Savagely and Unabashedly. 

 “I didn’t want this.” 

 And it was when I was halfway out the door that I realized the voice had come from me, a mantra pushing my shell all the way home. 

part 22

[paaradoxum]

BakuTodo Rec List of Fics Vol. II

It’s been a while since the last time I did the other list and many new, wonderful fics appeared (the dynamics will be the same: AO3 fics that includes top!Bakugou and bottom!Todoroki for those that are NSFW), so if you wanna check out here is Part I.

This time there are 32 fics in this list, I have more and probably I will make Part III soon.

Spoiler: EVERY SINGLE one of these stories are FUCKING AWESOME.

Rating: G

→ flowers die, feelings grow by kinneyb

Summary:  When Bakugo first visits a local flower shop with Jirou, he buys some flowers in a lame attempt to piss off one of the employees - a guy named Shouto. But then he gets a little too invested in keeping his flowers alive.

→ Pretty by doop-doop.

Summary:  Like so many things that had to do with Shouto, the question took Bakugou entirely by surprise. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

→ For a Single Moment by itsclowreedsfault.

Summary:  Katsuki shakes his head with a sigh and an unbidden smile. Shouto's always been like an overexcited kid when it came to cats; Katsuki should've known he didn't stand a chance against them in Shouto's first visit to a cat cafe.

Rating: T

→ Ruin My Life by justhavesex.

Summary: He's not a vengeful person, really, he's not.

But him and Bakugou have started this little on-going war of theirs back in middle school when they were 10 years old and Todoroki had accidentally—if you got Todoroki drunk enough and fed his ego well enough he would, in fact, admit that it was very much on purpose—accidentally fed Bakugou's limited edition All Might magazine to his cat.

→ Aesthetic Distance by llyn.

Summary:  This was around the time Shouto was appearing in all the blogs and rags and instagrams wearing a hideous faux fur coat of bright, hot neon like some awful crawling creature from an acid trip had been hunted and skinned, its pelt draped over Shouto's shoulders.

→ Dance To This by justhavesex.

Summary:  Bakugou has never cared much about being an alpha, not really, not until he met the most frustrating omega in all existence: Todoroki Shouto.

→ Welcome to the Mile-High Club by minhakos.

Summary:  In which Todoroki realizes that maybe airplanes aren't the only thing that should make him nervous.

→ Boyfriend Tactics by Esselle.

Summary: 'Shouto's eyes go impossibly wide. He seems to lose all powers of communication for a moment and just stands there, frozen, staring at Katsuki and the kitten. Finally, eventually, he utters the tiniest noise Katsuki has ever heard him make.

"Ah…" '

--

Katsuki comes to the aid of a small and fluffy civilian while on patrol.

→ Line by Line by Lillabelle.

Summary:  With half his sketchbook filled with drawings of the guy, Katsuki wondered if he’s already crossed the line of being insanely creepy. They’ve never spoken, and he honestly only knew the person’s name was Todoroki Shouto because of role call in class. Shouto was just… so unique to look at with his half and half appearance. It was hard for Katsuki’s eyes not to get drawn to him. Not to mention they shared several classes, so if Katsuki ever got bored and felt like drawing something, there he was.

→ a todobaku one-shot collection by kagehinataboke.

Summary:  all of my multiple, multiple, multiple todobaku one-shots. i stan two (2) dipshit boys that are obviously in love and hate with each other.

→ amaryllis by ?

Summary:  The amaryllis has come to symbolize pride, determination and radiant beauty. Somehow this all suited Katsuki a lot more than Shouto expected.

→ tell ourselves a good lie by ElmoIsSatan. (In-Progress 12/?)

Summary: For a straight guy with anger issues, getting a “boyfriend” might just be his only escape.

Or-

Bakugo makes an impulsive decision and suddenly gains a boyfriend just to prove his parents wrong... The only problem is it’s all fake.

→ how to register for a library card (and get a boyfriend in the process) by Kaleid369.

Summary: “Friends have each other’s numbers, yeah?” Bakugou shrugs. “I don’t hate you, I guess.”

“Lucky me.”

“Lucky you,” Bakugou snorts. “I gotta go. Text me so I have your number.”

“I will.”

He's already started walking away when Shouto blurts out, “See you tomorrow?”

Bakugou shoots him a smirk over his shoulder, as if to say, Duh.

Shouto stands and stares at his retreating back, and the thought of kissing him pounds along with the beat of his heart.

→ on brand by dinosuns.

Summary: Midoriya is honestly unsure what’s worse: the tragic fact that Todoroki Shouto can make anything look objectively incredible or the fact Kacchan has six versions of the exact same photograph saved onto his camera roll.

Nobody saves a photo that many times by accident.

Kacchan set the bar, Todoroki raised it. That is not a good thing.

→ The Journey Home by dinosuns.

Summary: “Your hair looks real fucking nice.”

“I thought it was about time I grew it out,” Todoroki says, something wistful caught in his voice. “You were always saying I should.”

That’s true. And Bakugou is satisfied to know he was right about it looking good, but it’s not like he can share that with the fucking class anymore.

--

Bakugou tells himself that he's fine with how things turned out between them. He also tells himself he's not still in love.

Rating: M

→ Zephyr by yeetin. (In-Progress 4/?)

Summary: The breeze that sifted gently through a golden sea of tall, dry grass brought the tiny spike of a different scent. An inconspicuous little prickle down the spine, barely even worth paying attention to. Something no one else would even imagine being able to notice.

But Bakugou did.

→ Objection, Your Honor by Myona. (In-Progress (8/?)

Summary: Shoto Todoroki hated Katsuki Bakugou. And he had plenty of reasons to do so.

But he didn't know that how things can change for the two of them who saw nothing but trouble in each other's presence and life altogether. Katsuki was a trouble from the first time Shoto heard his name, to the first day he met the man.

Rating: E

→ On Hot Blondes and Drunken Hookups by Crossfire. (In-Progress 4/?) I love this so so much.

Summary: “I’m Bakugou. What’s your name, Pretty Boy?”

Shouto looks at the drink in his hand, then back to the beautiful blonde boy, then back to the drink and downs it in one go, ignoring the slight burn as it slides down his throat, and while it would have been more suave to appear unaffected, he gives his head a little shake. He takes a quick breath and forces the words out before he has a chance to realize what a massive mistake this all is.

“Hot blondes I want to bang can call me Shouto.”

→ Tick Tick Boom by Ajaxthegreat. (In-Progress 6/?) THIS is so good, I’m in love.

Summary: An exhausted socially awkward violin prodigy and a deaf punk rock drummer walk into a bar.

→ Better Take a Mental Picture by chibibeeee. This is HOT HOT.

Summary:  The one where Deku watches Bakugou take Todoroki and their exhibitionist kink is unlocked.

→ Cover: Blown by darkanddank. (In-Progress 1/2)

Summary: Some undercover agents got hooked on drugs. Went full Stockholm Syndrome, flipped and joined up with the other side. As Bakugou’s palm went flat over Todoroki’s navel and dove beneath his closed zipper, Todoroki started to understand just how easy it might be to go rogue.

...aka cop Todoroki gets his world rocked so hard by bad guy Bakugou that he has an existential crisis

→ Just One Bite by Crossfire.

Summary: This particular fuckup begins when he saves a cat from a demon in a sketchy alley.

Well, maybe slightly before that when his esteemed hedge-witch mentor turned out to be an incubus who coincidentally turned him and his stupid nerdy neighbor into incubi.

Or maybe when he was born to a non-magic family, but early on developed minor magical inclinations that turned out to be not-so-minor and kind-of-hugely-destructive.

Wherever this fuckup was born, it’s culminated as follows: Bakugou has been an incubus for one hundred and twenty-two days, seven hours, and thirty-six minutes, has not had a single successful feed, and is essentially slowly starving to death. His mentor is suspiciously MIA and that stupid shitty nerd has managed to secure himself a two-person harem so it’s just Bakugou, starving. To death. Slowly.

→ Gangster by Brixxen.

Summary: Bakugou is a detective trying to solve a case that's been open for months. He ends up in a town and meets a man who could be his undoing...

Todoroki wasn't expecting the blonde at the bar to leave him wanting more...

→ How to spend a Friday night by veltana.

Summary: That's how Katsuki ended up on his bed on a Friday night leaning against the headboard with his laptop between his spread legs, his hard dick in his hand, watching Shouto open himself up for him on the screen.

→ Your Turn by doop-doop.

Summary: An extra scene/epilogue/continuation of smd.

Bakugou and Todoroki housesit for Bakugou's parents and take advantage of Bakugou's large bed.

→ Comfort by hellaradholly.

Summary: Katsuki agrees to be Shouto's roommate after UA despite having an unbearable crush on him.a gift for Katie for the BakuTodo Valentine's Day Exchange!

→ Empire of Dirt by castiiron, clairesail. (In-Progress 5/?)

Summary: There was something different about being with Bakugou Katsuki. Something that Shouto had been searching for tonight, to no avail. A consistent burn in his gut, the warmth of a fire that hadn’t been stoked in many years. Katsuki had been inexcusably rough with him. Harsh in a way that had pulled him back to reality. Shouto hadn’t realized he was missing out, being so used to what he knew; going through the motions, a means to an end. His life for the last few years had revolved around mediocre sex as a way to abate constant desire, always at the forefront of his mind.

Unhealthy coping mechanisms are easier to hide when you aren't screwing your ex-classmate.

→ Be Quiet by chibibeeee.

Summary: Katsuki and Shouto stay the night at Deku's. If only they had any self control, then they wouldn't have to keep so quiet.

→ Speak Softly My Sweet Villain by Brixxen.

Summary: Ask anyone in Tokyo and they’ll tell you the same thing. That the No.1 Pro Hero Todoroki Shoto is the perfect hero. He’s kind to everyone, always the first to arrive on a crime scene, always the calm and collected hero everyone wants him to be.

It was ironic how things happened to lead Shoto to his current situation. Him moaning and shuddering like a teenager, clinging to the strong perfect body of the most wanted villain in Japan, Ground Zero.

→ Peanuts and Wolves by cashmeresho.

Summary: “Yeah, man, okay!” The guy holds up his hands in surrender and Shouto shoots him another apologetic look. “I really didn't know you guys were married! I didn't see a ring!”

“Oh,” Katsuki says. He frowns hard for a minute and then grabs Shouto by the arm to whisk him away to his table with Izuku and Kirishima to guard him or sniff him or whatever weird territorial thing he wants to do.

→ College Roommates|BakuTodo by S_Kuro.

Summary: Todoroki is the son of the famous Todoroki Enji, also known as Endeavor, his father is a famous business man that wants Todoroki to take over his business, but Todoroki wants to become a photographer. He goes against his father's wishes and goes to an art university miles away from home. There he meets a certain explosive blonde, who turns out to be his roommate. what sorts of ridiculous shenanigans will they find themselves in and what relationships will they end up in.

a BakuTodo fanfic

This is my first fanfic with these two, so don't judge me and I hope you like it.

→ Locker Room by darkqueen_25.

Summary: There are worse things to walk in on in a locker room, Inasa thinks, than your two new friends fucking against the shower walls.

There's probably nothing better than being asked to join in, though.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Five Fics Friday: April 10/20

SPECIAL EASTER WEEKEND EDITION: FIFTY FICS FRIDAY

Hey, everyone!!

Well, I asked on my Twitter and here if y’all wanted to see a special edition 5FF for the Long Weekend since we’re all stuck inside (and some of you stuck with family I’m sure you’d like to avoid or are just tired of seeing), and it was a unanimous YES, because who doesn’t love to curl up all weekend with a good book or fanfic??

So here we are: Fifty fics either pulled out of my ass, recently read, recently bookmarked, or recently Marked for Later! Each section has a count so you know how many are in that section (and it’s for myself when I go to double check the count, LOL). I hope you guys enjoy these!! <3 Love you all, and happy reading :)

As always, read-more will appear on the third reblog. Sorry mobile, please don’t hate me :(

--------

@johnlockficclub APRIL NOMINATIONS (5)

A Beginner's Guide to Apiology. by VictoryCandescence (M, 10,952 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement AU || Friendship, Love, Bees & Beekeeping, Old Age, Dreamy Sexytimes, Angst, Soulmates, Grumpy Sherlock, Magical Realism) – John and Sherlock meet for the first time as old men in Sussex. (to read)

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you're living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds (“WINNER” fic)

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock's five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Crimson Hymns by brilliantlyburning (E, 48,982 w., 9 Ch. || Post-S3/TAB, Angst,  Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction, Unhealthy Coping Methods, Demisexual Sherlock, Boxing, Pining, Sensory Processing Issues, Drug Use, First Kiss / Time, BDSM, Mary is Not Good, Parentlock, Proposal, Happy Ending, Beekeeping, Violence, References to Addiction, Poetry) – He laid his head over John’s heart, eyes level with his silver-rough scar, and listened to the crimson hymns beating beneath the surface. He imagined flowers blooming in his own chest: veins weaving intricate patterns on petals of thin muscle engorged with blood, sinew for stems and tendons for roots—the flowers would be poppies, maybe (addictive) or foxglove (deadly yet useful)—twining gleaming blood-red around the porcelain bone of his ribs. In his mind’s eye the gruesome bouquet all tied together on the left side of his chest, the stems bound together in heartstrings and the flowers fed by the rhythmic contraction of ventricles. It’s yours, he imagined saying to John—from the vena cava to the mitral valve to the arteries it is yours.— Or, the Love Song of W. Sherlock S. Holmes. (to read)

RECENT RE-READS (5)

Five Times John Watson Remained Oblivious (K+, 1,154 w., 1 Ch. || Five and Ones, Romance, Friendship, Asexual Sherlock, Queerplatonic Relationship) – ...And one time he didn't. asexual!Sherlock/John.

Linger by orphan_account (E, 4,879 w., 1 Ch. || Lingerie, Fluff and Smut, BJ / HJ, Switchlock, Sherlock in Lingerie, Come Play, Dirty Talk, Anal Fingering, Anal/Oral, Implied Shower Sex, Neck Kissing) – Sherlock decides to surprise John after a somewhat stressful day at work.

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 5,034 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour, Three Garridebs) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Iris by slashscribe (E, 11,948 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Post-S3) – Sherlock does his best to make John happy when John comes back to 221B with his new baby after the events of Season 3, but Sherlock has a track record of getting things wrong in this area. This story is an exploration of their gradual shift from friends to lovers, told from Sherlock's perspective, full of a lot of pining and lack of emotional awareness.

Fucking Cake by Random_Nexus (E, 12,965 w., 1 Ch. || Pre-Slash, Humour/Crack, Inanimate Object Smut, Frottage, “For a Case” / “Experiment”, PWP / Kinky, Mutual Pining, Fluff) – Sherlock brings home a chocolate cake, John finds him about to have sex with said cake, then exceedingly weird hijinx ensue. Part 1 of "Fucking Baked Goods" - Sherlock BBC

NEW MFL’s THIS WEEK (11)

Guardian and Assistant by I_Have_No_Clue (M, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Blow Jobs, PWP, Alpha Sherlock/Omega John, Mentions of Heat) – In this A/O world, ever Alpha, Beta, and Omega have a Type to them that describes the traits they have. John tries to figure out Sherlock's. Part 1 of the Types series

Bonneville Black by HollyShadow88 (E, 3,362 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Motorcycles, Motorcycle Sex, Public Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex) – John discovers that Sherlock has a motorbike. He also discovers that he finds Sherlock on a motorbike to be unreasonably attractive.

Code 221b by whitchry9 (T, 6,528 w., 11 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant, Medical, Paramedics, Hurt/Comfort, Outsider POV) – Sherlock Holmes is well known to the paramedics of London. So when John Watson comes into the picture, it seems like a fantastic solution. Someone would take care of Sherlock and prevent all those problems. Of course, they didn't think about what would happen if John was hurt. (They really should have.)  Part 1 of the The Patron Saint of Idiots series

Permanent Fixture by vitruvianwatson (E, 18,836 w., 9 Ch || Post-S4, Parentlock, Slow Build, Friends to Lovers, They’re Good Parents, Blushing Sherlock, First Kiss/Time, Explicit Consent, Sexual Content) – Now, as Rosie sat curled up against Sherlock’s side, John watched and wondered exactly how he had ended up here. Domesticity had never suited him before, not at any point in his life. His disastrous marriage had been proof of that. But somehow, here in the warmth and safety of 221B Baker Street, here with Sherlock Holmes reading medical jargon to his daughter, Sherlock’s bony feet nudging against his leg, John couldn’t imagine anyplace that would make him happier.

Sex Shop Quartet Series by testosterone_tea (E, 28,180+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || First Kiss/Time, POV John, Sex Toys, Sex Talk, Anal Play, Anal Beads, Anal Fingering, Awkward Sexual Situations, Rimming, Inexperienced Sherlock, Oral Sex, Developing Relationship, Love Confessions, PWP, Bondage, Handcuffs, Praise Kink, BDSM, Kink Negotiation, Edgeplay, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Orgasm Denial, Ice / Wax Play, Blindfolds, Emotional Love Making, Teabagging, Riding Crops, Impact Play, Intercrural Sex, Roleplay, Spanking, Collars) – Sherlock goes undercover at a sex shop but finds he has no idea what any of the toys are for. Cue John Watson, awkward sexual conversations and some unfortunate incidents involving too much plug and not enough lube. But all's well that ends well and Sherlock gets the best happy ending of all.

Roll Away Your Stone by foxxcub (E, 39,463 w., 1 Ch. || Downey Holmes || Boarding School AU) – Seventeen-year-old John Watson is set to finish his final year of school with a flourish, until the headmaster assigns John as a "tutor" to an arrogant, yet brilliant new student named Sherlock Holmes. Holmes is not about to be put in his place by this popular rugby football player with the too-blue eyes, and John isn't going to let this impulsive fifteen-year-old get away with anything. Neither expects to become friends, but a series of unexpected events and a possible murder mystery bring them closer together than either of them thought possible.

I Believe in Sherlock Holmes by Ranowa (T, 63,038 w., 10 Ch. || S3 Fix It, Hurt Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Homeless Network, Alcohol Abuse, No Mary, Bit-Not-Good/Angry John, Protective Mycroft, Angst with Happy Ending, Non-Linear Narrative, Major Character Injury, Recovery, Forgiveness, Sherlock’s a Mess) – John's been angry at Sherlock since the day he turned up wearing a fake mustache and a tuxedo. He's still angry, even as he moves back into 221B, and he never hesitates to let Sherlock know it.One day, Sherlock stops saying sorry, and walks out instead.One day, Sherlock wakes up handcuffed in the boot of a car, and John doesn't know, because John's been angry at him for so long he's forgotten that he's not the only one that's hurting.

I'm coming home, John. -SH Series by Ranowa (M, 67,247 w. across 3 works || Post-TRF, Angry John, Idiots in Love, No Mary, Drug Use/Substance Abuse, Emotional Rollercoaster, Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, PTSD Sherlock, Recovery, Sherlock’s Violin, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Asexual Sherlock) – In the two years after Sherlock throws himself off the roof of St. Bart's, crunches into the pavement below, and dies in John's arms, John starts texting.He doesn't know that his text messages are being read.

Roommates are for little people by alexxphoenix42 (E, 69,042 w., 14 Ch. || Teen/Unilock || Forced to Share a Bed, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Fake Relationship, Sherlock is a Prick, Drinking, Inadvertent Drug Use, Family Wedding, Footballer John / Ballet Dancer Sherlock, Frottage, Slow Burn, Mild Dub Con, Cuddling While Sleeping, Slight Homophobia, Posh Boy, Dirty Dancing, Endearments, Nosy FAmily, Bathing Together, Mild Angst, UST/RST, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff) – John was looking forward to seeing his friends back at uni, but a new year brings new complications, not the least of which is a dorm room with only one bed, and a stroppy roommate with an utterly spectacular arse. God, John doesn't need the headache.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Scheherezade by sgam76 (G, 197,576 w., 45 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF/Pre-TSo3, PTSD Sherlock, Implied/Referenced Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Humour, Protective John, Papa Lestrade, Big Brother Mycroft, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia, Past Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Drunk Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Suicidal Thoughts / Attempt) – Sherlock is home, he and John are returning to cases, and all's right with the world--right? But a series of minor mishaps and injuries makes two things very clear to his friends and family: first, Sherlock's time away wasn't the grand adventure everyone has assumed it was; and second, that time has left Sherlock with a legacy that's bleeding into his life today. Sherlock is Not Okay, and it's not going away. Part 1 of the Scheherezade 'verse series

POSTED THIS YEAR [WiP’s & Full] (19)

A Bowl of Comfort (Store-Bought is Fine) by tepidspongebath (T, 763 w., 1 Ch. || Food, Comfort, Domesticity, Fluff) – “When did you last eat?” “What day is it?” “Oh, for god’s sake - you can’t keep skipping meals like this, Sherlock.” “It’s Lent.” “And since when do you care about Lent?” “Since you get chocolate eggs at Easter.” (to read)

End of the Curve by doctor_not_your_girlfriend (T, 833 w., 1 Ch. || COVID-19, One Shot, Medical Realism, Major Illness, Recovery, Optimism, Disability, Needles) – July, 2021. Mycroft has a special delivery for Sherlock. Inspired by Proving A Point by elldotsee, J_Baillier. (to read)

Love Is A Smoke by J_Baillier (T, 3,617 w., 4 Ch. || Heavy Angst, Pining, Romance, MCD) – It's spring in 2036. John and Sherlock are no longer together. Sherlock attempts to cope — or doesn't. (to read)

A Study in Beard by Loveismyrevolution (T, 3,810 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff and Humour, Experiments, Beards, Idiots in Love, Quarantine) – Sherlock has to face the consequences of using up all of their shaving foam. Which turns out to be more fun than expected. Boys being boys, nothing can go without a challenge. Although, being isolated presents a problem. How will they determine the winner? Part 2 of the Hairy Situations at 221B series (to read)

Isolated by CarmillaCarmine (G, 3,926, 3/4 Ch. || WiP || Quarantine From Virus, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Bi-Panic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Coming Out, Bathing/Washing, Bubble Bath, Kissing) – Due to an ongoing pandemic, John and Sherlock find themselves isolated at 221B. (to read)

Sherlock's Solution by PipMer (T, 4,125 w., 1 Ch, || Fluff, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Isolation/Quarantine, Pining, Miscommunication, First Kiss) – Sherlock and John are stuck in quarantine. Against all expectations, John is the one who goes stir-crazy first. Sherlock has a unique solution to the problem. (to read)

The Unexpected Threat by J_Baillier (T, 4,283 w., 1 Ch. || Military AU / Pacific Rim Fusion || Established Relationship, Medical Conditions, Coronaviruses, Doctor John, Bratty Sherlock, Romance, Science Fiction, Futuristic Medicine, Ghost Drifting AKA Telepathy, Medical Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Healing) – The kaiju are not the only threat to the security and well-being of the staff of PPDC's Chard's Rift base. It's the year 2050, and a coronavirus epidemic sweeping the planet has reached The Azores. Part 4 of the At The Edge of Our Hope (to read)

Quarantine by wendymarlowe (T, 6,444+ w., 20/? Ch. || WiP || COVID-19, Forced Isolation / Quarantine, John’s Blog, Humour) – John and Sherlock are stuck at 221B together due to coronavirus concerns. Sherlock slowly drives John barmy. (to read)

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

Attentions, Experiments, Oddnesses by hubblegleeflower (E, 6,383 w., 1 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Experiments, Frottage, Mutual Masturbation, Kissing, First Time) – John is behaving oddly, and Sherlock hopes it means what he thinks it means, but he has several theories and could well be missing some of the facts. (to read)

Casualty by Silvergirl (E, 12,051 w., 4 Ch. || Canon Compliant Until T6T, Mary’s Dead, Trauma/Comfort, John’s a Good Friend, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss/Time, Sherlock Learns Teamwork, Parentlock) – Sherlock renders assistance at a hit-and-run and is left deeply shocked. When the accident turns into a case, John moves back in to 221b to help—and finds that Sherlock has way oversold his image as an emotionless thinking machine. (to read)

The Night Riviera from Paddington to Penzance and Back Again by  Iwantthatcoat (M, 12,918 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Hurt/Comfort Emotional Hurt/Comfort, BAMF John, Devil's Foot Adaptation, Hallucinations, Oral Sex) – Mrs Hudson has decided her boys need a little vacation together (after the events of S4) away from London and has booked them an inordinately (per Sherlock) long train ride from Paddington Station to Penzance. (to read)

A Gossamer Dream by CarmillaCarmine (E, 15,985 w., 4 Ch. || Writer/Teacher AU || First Meetings, Friends to Lovers, Writer John / Teacher Sherlock, Fluff, London, Holding Hands, Online Friendship / Romance, Phone Sex, Anal Sex, Happy Ending) – Sherlock had never realised one could care so much about someone they'd never met in person. Now he is about to meet the friend with whom he's been chatting online for months and his anticipation is reaching a crescendo. (to read)

Contrition by sussexbound (E, 18,556+ w., 5/? Ch. || WiP || Post-S4/TFP Didn’t Happen, Rosie Doesn’t Exist, T6T/TLD is Canon, Year After TLD, Light BDSM, Soft Dom Sherlock / Sub John, Punishment, Light Bondage, Light Masochism / No Sadism, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Tenderness, Aftercare, Forgiveness, Edging, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Mutual Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Frottage, Communication, Sexual Negotiation, Sexual Tension, Spanking, Head Injury, Anal Sex) – “You’ve been tense ever since we got back, itching for a fight, all your usual tells, but why…?” The truth strikes like lightning. “Oh… Oh! You’re not angry at me. Not this time. Well—maybe a little. But mostly, mostly you’re angry at yourself. Why? For falling behind? For not being there in time. For not taking Wilkes down fast enough?” Sherlock waves a dismissive hand. “It doesn’t really matter.” He lifts a finger to his swollen cheek and cut eyebrow. “You blame yourself for this. And you offered to fix it. But I wouldn’t let you, and… But that’s not what you really want, anyway, is it?” John looks stunned, a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming lorry, frozen, waiting for the lethal strike. “You don’t want me to let you help. At least not right away. No. What you want, what you really want is—punishment.” (to read)

Feeling Seen by jadztone (E, 30,177 w., 9 Ch. || Ballet!Sherlock / Rugby!John, Demisexuality, Virgin John, Experienced Sherlock, Toplock, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Background Molly/Irene & Greg/Sally) – Rugby player John is starting over at a new university, with the help of friends Molly and Bill. Few people know that John is demisexual, but ballet dancer Sherlock Holmes deduces right away that he has no interest in sex unless he’s fallen in love. John finds this strange genius intriguing and would like to get to know him, but Sherlock has a self-cultivated reputation for only wanting casual sex. John has reason to believe that’s not really true, but he’s not sure he wants to risk his twice-fractured heart to find out. (to read)

Sanguineous Serendipity by CarmillaCarmine (E, 34,783 w., 14 Ch. || Vampire AU || Alternate First Meeting, Turning a Character, Vampire Sherlock, Captain John, POV John, Feeding, Blood Drinking, Crossdressing Sherlock, Genderfluid Character, Sherlock in Heels, Transphobic Behaviour, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Soulmates, Romance, Happy Ending) – Vampire Sherlock meets a dying John in a field hospital in Afghanistan and gives him a whole new life. (to read)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Next Right: Welcome to Westbound Rest Area 818 by elwinglyre (E, 59,874+ w., 13/15 Ch. || WiP || American Unilock AU || Bunk Beds, Anonymous Sex, Homophobia, Closeted John, Roommates, Angst with Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Music, Rape/Non-Con, Hurt John, BAMF John) – Sherlock Holmes dreams of escape from his smothering family and space to breathe. Studying chemistry at the University of Michigan, he's almost far enough away to fill his lungs. Almost. While John Watson dreams of being a doctor, he also dreams of being with another man. John knows that with hard work and study, he can make the first a reality, but he's certain the second can never be. Until a secret encounter in the dark at Rest Area 818 changes everything. When Sherlock meets his new roommate, John Watson, he sees a man in the closet. Sherlock hides from no one. Except from his own family, a detective inspector who wants his evidence returned, and his secret encounter at Rest Area 818. Thank you to recently folded who lovingly beta’d chapters 1-5 and helped with an important plot point that deeply enriches this story. Also thank you to hotshoeagain for beta'ing the rest of the story.Setting late 1970s, Michigan, USA. POV third person alternates between John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. (to read)

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

ANYTHING GOES – JOHNLOCK (5)

Talk by illwick (E, 6,364 w., 1 Ch. || Dirty Talk, John’s Giant Junk, PWP, Light BDSM, Size Kink, Oral / Anal, Rough Sex, Dirty Talk, Established Rel.) – Sherlock was never much for dirty talk... until an unexpected visit yields unexpected results. Part 20 of Unwind

Ghost Stories by SwissMiss (M, 22,256 w., 1 Ch. || Pining, Holmes Family, Christmas, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, First Time) – Sherlock's parents think he and John are a couple. They might be onto something.

Pater Noster by SilentAuror (E, 34,256 w., 2 Ch. || Case Fic, HLV/S3 Fix It Fic, Family Trauma, Sherlock POV, Villain Mary) – During the autumn that John is staying at Baker Street again after Sherlock was shot, he ruminates over the similarity between Sherlock's shot and the one that killed his father when he was fifteen. Cold case meets series 3 fix-it. Part I takes place entirely within His Last Vow, Part II takes place starting at the end of HLV and continues after.

The Homecoming Series by sussexbound (M, 51,744 w. across 12 stories, WIP || Domestics, PTSD, Love Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling, Jealousy, Family Issues) – Sometimes home is all you need. After three years of horror, betrayals, and crushing loss, John and Sherlock find their way back home to one another, and together find new footing in a world that has changed forever.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Case Fic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

ANYTHING GOES – INEFFABLE HUSBANDS (5)

All Roads Lead To You by TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel (T, 2,549 w., 2 Ch.|| Pining Crowley, Oblivious Aziraphale, Love Confessions, Feelings, Resolved Romantic Tension, Rescuing, Happy Ending, Snake Crowley, Magic Bracelets, POV Aziraphale) – It had taken Aziraphale quite some time to find the presence he had been looking for, but here he was, in the Reptile House of the London Zoo. As an angel, Aziraphale shouldn’t have been finding amusement in the discomfort of another, but he couldn’t help but do so as he was glared at by a very familiar snake. “Oh my dear,” Aziraphale murmured, “how ever did you end up in this situation?”

The slowest moving object in the universe by chamyl (G, 4,996 w., 1 Ch. || God POV, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Beach Day, Games, Light Humour, Tenderness, Embarassed Crowley, Soft Idiots, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – Crowley and Aziraphale have had feelings for each other for a very long time. It takes a date at the lake and a round of 36 Questions That Lead To Love to give them the final push.

Wings and How to Hide Them by triedunture (M, 10,134 w., 1 Ch. || Mutual Pining, First Time, Love Confessions, Body Swap, Wing Kink, Idiots In Love) – Crowley's been annoyingly in love for six thousand years. What's another lifetime between friends? Or: Aziraphale definitely fucks and isn't that just perfect?

Souls In Creation by Dragonfruit112 (NR [M], 23,110 w., 6 Ch. || Aziraphale was Raphael, Hurt/Comfort, Angst With Happy Ending, True Angel Forms, Memory Loss/Amnesia, Seraph!Aziraphale, Cherub!Crowley, Moments of Time, Pining Aziraphale, Deaths, Disasters Through History, Whump, Taking Care of Each Other, Friendship, Mates to Friends to Mates, Bed Sharing, Sick Crowley, Healing Powers, BAMF Aziraphale) – They knew each other before the Fall. They loved each other before the Fall. They were creation's first soul mates. But the Fall changed everything, and now Aziraphale is forced to live in a world where only he remembers their shared past. Burdened by pain and grief, he hides himself under the guise of a clumsy Principality until he can make his love remember once more. Only, he doesn't know how long that'll take.

Any Way You Want It by LieutenantLiv (M, 27,585 w., 5 Ch. || Holidays, Slow Burn, Fluff, First Time, Eventual Smut, Swimming, Dreams of Dancing, Kissing in the Rain, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Crying Love Confessions, Soft Crowley, Clingy Crowley, Virgin Aziraphale, Romance) – Saving the world is exhausting work. With Heaven and Hell off their backs, it seems as good a time as any for Crowley and Aziraphale to take a proper break. Neither one of them predicts the direction their holiday takes.Who'd have thought that sharing a cottage in Scotland would be quite so romantic?

[prorevenge]

How To Dispose of Choosy Beggars (The Valtrex Edition)

When boyfriend and I first moved away from Armpit to Asscrack around 1996 or so, we moved into an apartment building that was really a huge house broken up into 5 or 6 apartments. A few days after moving into the top apartment, we discovered that boyfriend actually kind of knew the couple on the ground floor. As it turned out, boyfriend had graduated with the girl, a blonde with a crunchy "buy me a zima" '80s perm. Now, we didn't realize this at first, but she was a complete and total Brittany and he was the male counterpart.

At first, they seemed nice enough. We hung out a bit and went out a few times to the clubs. I even helped Brittany get on at the place where I worked (telemarketing, but almost twice what minimum wage was at the time).

It wasn't until we had lived there for a couple of months that we found out rather by happenstance that the couple had a rather extensive opioid habit. I was at work one evening and I had a terrible headache. Brittany came to my desk at breaktime (we usually went to eat together) and asked me what was wrong. I told her I had a headache and asked her if she had any Tylenol. Well, no but she had a painkiller.

Turns out that she was talking about hydrocodone, and I politely declined it.

Over the next few days she offered me a painkiller for everything from a tummy ache to being in a bad mood. That's when I started to catch on. As it turns out, Britney and Brian's lives revolved around their pill problems. It was all they talked about. We didn't want to make enemies of people that we literally lived on top of, so we subtly started pulling back from the friendship. Eventually Britney got fired from the job, and that's when the choosy beggar-ing began.

They started out asking to borrow $20.00.

We did it and they paid us back.

No problem.

Next thing that happened is that they wanted to "share" their cable account. Since we were all in the same building we could run a line and no one would know. Their idea was that we take turns paying each month. Of course, we went first. I did not like this at all, but figured that if it went pear-shaped, we would have a legitimate excuse to get rid of them.

The third thing that happened was that Britney came to our door in tears. She said that Brian was downstairs, crying. She said that they had no food in the house and that Brian's children were with them for the weekend and they were hungry. We weren't exactly domesticated then, so we had no food to give them. Boyfriend and I are soft-hearted (and we were kind of naive back then), so we lent them some money for food (I think it was $50 or so).

The next day Britney is back and she's going on and on about "Brian's pill issue". (Not hers, no it was all Brian.) Sometime during the conversation, she says that Brian had "made her lie to her parents and say they needed food for the children" to get money for drugs.

Boyfriend and I just looked at each other.

We didn't say a word to her, but we were furious.

A few days later, our cable was turned off. Since the account was in Britney and Brian's name, we went down to their apartment to find out what was going on. They tried to cover it up at first by making excuses and hemming and hawing around, but it didn't take long to figure out that the bill hadn't been paid in over 2 months! We had gaven them money for the cable bill that month, but they spent it on something else (gee, I wonder what).

We ended up opening up our own account and they actually had the nerve to ask us to "share" with them.

Ummm...that's a nope from me, dog.

They got very pushy about the issue and a few words were exchanged. It wasn't a pleasant conversation, but we finally had the excuse we needed to cut them off.

The problem was that they would NOT leave us alone.

They badmouthed us to other people in the building. They stole things from our cars. They called in noise complaints on us and sent the police to beat on our doors, waking us up at 2 and 3 am.

There were a few other things, too, but that was the final straw. I was just. fed. up.

One night while watching TV a commercial for Valtrex came on, and I got an idea. As it turns out, the first few doses of the anti-Herpes medication was free. All we needed was a name and an address to have free information and a voucher for free samples sent to your home.

We dialed the number and sat back and waited.

Now, I know the "subscribing people to junk mail" or dirty magazines is kind of a cliche, and we didn't really expect anything to come of it. What we had hoped for at most was a blow-up of some sort. We figured that, if we were lucky, there would be a fight, and some cheating accusations. Maybe-if fortune really smiled upon us-they would even break up.

What we got was so much more. It was, in fact, glorious.

About ten days after we made the call, a huge ruckus outside got our attention. Britney was in a rage. She was in the yard, screaming at Brian, calling him every name in the book. Brian was standing there haplessly watching as she threw his belongings into the yard.

Clothes were everywhere. A TV and a lamp smashed on the sidewalk. Britney sat in the middle of it like a blonde banshee in booty shorts, cursing and screaming at the top of her lungs.We were extremely gratified when she asked which of his "feckin' hos" gave it to him.

Eventually Brian lost patience and the two started brawling in the middle of the street. Beer bottles and gauntlets were thrown. A weave was snatched off. It was a scene fit for the Jerry Springer show.Eventually the police showed up and Britney and Brian were driven off in the city's free black-and-white cab service. They were taken to spend the night in the city's free hotel accommodations, aka the county jail. Apparently when the police intervened, the couple was found to be in possession of illegal prescription drugs, and a night in jail turned into multiple nights in jail.

Imagine that.

They never returned to the building and we never saw or heard from them again. For all I know, they're still in jail.

(source) story by (/u/ambthab)