#so everything I know is from either the wiki or word of mouth

[whomstsnek]

I am not immune to Hazbin Hotel </3

[pastel0rchid]

Serendipity (1)

Din Djarin x Modern!F!Reader

Story Summary:

~Serendipity (n) - the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

You thought you were dreaming when you found yourself in the Star Wars universe. That was until an incident proved you deathly wrong.

You really wish you paid attention now when you watched the movies with your dad.~

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Being shot, blood

Author's Note: BAM! Sudden story drop that nobody asked for! I am warning everyone now, I am not the most knowledgeable about Star Wars lore. If there is anything wrong, please let me know so I can fix it! Most of my information will either come from the Wiki or from my dad (who inspired this story a lot)

Next Chapter

As you slowly regain consciousness, the loud noises of a busy street fill your ears. You hear voices overlapping and merging in your foggy mind.

The ground beneath you is solid and scratchy, feeling like concrete.

When you open your eyes, the bright light invades your vision, causing you to squint. You groan softly as you try to sit up, and your body feels heavy as you go from an unconscious state to a conscious one.

You can't seem to remember what happened to make you lose consciousness. Your mind tries to recall the details, but it fails each time. Your memories are a blur; a hazy image of your family sitting in the living room, the faint smell of buttery popcorn, and falling asleep while watching a movie. You vaguely remember that it was something your father had picked out, and your mother playfully groaned about his choice.

As your eyes adjust to the light, you take in your surroundings while slowly sitting up. You find yourself in an alleyway, something dark and secluded.

You use the wall for support as you begin to stand, your legs trembling slightly. You don't know where you are or how long you've been unconscious, and that causes your heart to spike in fear. The smell of cooked food suddenly invades your nose, and you feel drool forming in your mouth.

You've been out long enough to develop an appetite.

Keeping your hand on the wall for support, you move toward the alleyway entrance. The smell of food is calling your name, and your stomach is grumbling. A cloaked figure suddenly passes by the alleyway, and you can't help but call out to them, begging for assistance in this unknown place.

"Excuse me! Do you know-"

Your sentence is cut short when the figure turns to face you. Their features had been hidden by the hood of their cloak. Your breath hitches in your throat at the sight of them being revealed, and time seems to freeze as your body processes the shock.

The figure isn't human, as evidenced by the red hue of their scaly skin and the yellow of their eyes. They begin to speak to you, but their words are garbled, and your brain struggles to understand what's going on. Their eyes stay locked on your trembling figure as they gesture to the area around them.

The alien pauses their talking, watching you curiously as if waiting for you to respond. Everything hits you at once, and your gut turns in fear as you stumble back away from them, falling hard onto your backside when you trip over your feet. Your wide eyes stay trained on the alien figure as they give you a weird look as if you are the abnormal one.

"What a nerve burner," the alien says under their breath as they turn to keep walking past the alleyway.

Once you are sure that the alien is long gone, you quickly scramble to stand on your feet, ignoring the ache in your joints from how fast you go and how long they've gone unused. Rushing out of the alleyway, your eyes squint as the sun's rays hit you.

Your breathing begins to quicken as you look around, your eyes adjusting to the sudden bright light and the sound of people talking getting louder and louder. People bump into you as you stand outside the alleyway, cursing at you in words you can't seem to understand. Your head whips back and forth as you take in your surroundings and the people around you.

You were in the middle of a marketplace.

The people around you, like the figure in front of the alleyway, have different alien features. You barely see anybody who looks even remotely human. Fear and adrenaline course through your veins as you try to take everything in.

"It's a dream. It has to be a dream," you mumble to yourself while using your hands to cover your eyes, which are slowly watering from fearful tears.

Voices overlap, languages mix, people bump into you and hiss harsh words in your direction. Everything is too much. You just want to wake up from this dream. Crouching down in the middle of the busy street, you cover your face with your hands, silently begging to wake up from this nightmare.

Your body flinches at the sudden feeling of a tiny hand grabbing the sweatpants you wore when you fell asleep on the couch. Slowly uncovering your face, you peer down at whatever has decided to approach your trembling form. Your heart skips a beat at the somewhat familiar face.

Round black eyes peer up at you from where they stand at your side. Its large green ears are folded down in presumed worry for you as its tiny three-fingered hand grips tightly at your pants.

"Patu."

Even with the loud commotion of the marketplace, you make out his little voice clearly.

Suddenly, you’re hit with short and fast clips of memories. Your father watching the Star Wars movies, you sitting on the couch while they played (they were more so background noise to you), joining him in watching the first few episodes of ‘The Mandalorian’ just because you found the green alien baby adorable but understanding nothing of the lore.

Everything around you slowly started making sense, your body relaxing as the thought hit you. You were having a Star Wars themed dream.

Reaching down, you carefully gather the little green alien into your arms, whose ears perk up as you bring him against your chest while slowly standing up. Your eyes, still wet from unshed tears, stare into his own, observing him silently before a small smile tugs at the corner of your lips. His hand reaches up and gently places itself onto your cheek, and a wave of calm washes over you.

“Where’s your Mandalorian, little one?”

Your voice is slightly shaky from the anxiety that had been previously flowing through your veins. His head tilts cutely at your question. You knew he wouldn’t respond, but you wished that your dream version of him had a cute little voice. Your body turns in a random direction, set on walking wherever and knowing your dream would set you on the right path.

With your gaze solely focused on the child in your arms, your voice is soft as you talk to him. You ramble about anything and everything, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He even seemed intrigued as you began to talk about your family.

Something small suddenly whizzes past you with a loud whine, your head quickly turning to the source to find a group of aliens behind you, their gun-like weapons pointed at you. Your grip on the child gets a little tighter, a small concerned coo coming from him.

You remember one main thing from the show, and it’s the fact that a lot of people were tasked with hunting down the child. Of course, this plot point had to be transferred to your dream.

Thinking quickly, you turn back away from the group and begin running through the crowded streets with the child held close to your chest. His hand grips your shirt tightly as he peaks over your shoulder at the group that begins to follow after you.

Their overlapped yelling startled many passersby into making way for them, allowing them to gain on your heels quickly. You dodge and weave through the crowd with speed and agility you didn’t even know you had. Adrenaline will do funny things to people.

You search the crowd for any opening to escape through, your heart thundering in your ears before something large and shiny catches your eyes. Beskar armor!

The figure was looking around frantically, and you knew who he was searching for. The child in your arms bounces slightly as you push yourself to speed up toward the Mandalorian.

“Mando!”

His visor snaps in your direction, his body visibly tensing at the sight of the child in your arms, but more so at the group of aliens still chasing after you. He draws his blaster with a speed you had never seen before but with him, his aim pointed over your shoulder towards the aliens.

As you get closer and closer, your hand comes up to rest on the back of the child’s head, creating a safe cocoon for him in your arms. Your legs burned and your feet ached from running, but you were almost there. You were almost to the Mandalorian who still had his blaster trained on the group, seemingly waiting for you to get closer before risking the shot.

The sound of a blaster going off fills your ears, and a blinding pain erupts in your right shoulder. A sharp scream leaves your lips as your body is sent tumbling to the ground from the force of the shot. The child squeaks in your arms as you keep your arms around him, turning your body to the side to avoid crushing him under you.

It hurts when your body slams into the ground, but the wound in your shoulder throbs in a searing pain that you had never felt before in your dreams. Screams from the crowd around you begin to muffle.

Blaster fire could be heard over you, the sound of heavy bodies crumpling to the floor behind you.

The edges of your vision begin to blur, your eyes trained on the blood that began to ooze out from the wound in your shoulder and slowly pool below you. You could faintly hear the child whining, but he sounded so far away. As your vision slowly becomes overtaken by the darkness of unconsciousness, a metal-clad figure steps in front of you.

One last thought fills your head as everything goes black: This was definitely not a dream.

[mousydentist]

18. kim tongue ring 👀👀👀👀

omfg im gonna eviscerate tumblr ANYWAY i got another ask for this from @xxatlasxx but that has disappeared into the void so im answering this one

OK SO since i got two for this one i wrote a little extra (dont blame yall, that was objectively the best one on the list)

the whole idea from my doc:

kim tongue ring

……yeah thats it lmao. this entire idea was riding on vibes alone and the vibe was horny. so here’s 850 words of horny i wrote extremely quickly as soon as i had a break

Kim has always had several piercings, which Chay adores. When Wik had first appeared with his conch piercing, Chay extensively documented it on the fan wiki. He was there when Kim got his industrial (which he took without flinching) and saw him diligently clean it every morning and night until it had completely healed, even afterwards still taking good care of it. So when Chay finds a little bar with two balls on either end in Kim's bathroom, he doesn't think much of it, and it doesn't occur to him that it doesn’t look like a regular piercing at all. That is, until a couple weeks later, when he sees it’s missing from its spot, likely meaning Kim has it in. But he hasn’t noticed Kim changing any of his piercings, so he asks Kim where it went. And that’s when Kim's tongue lolls out of his mouth to reveal that, sure enough, the little bar is stuck through it. The black ball stands stark against the pink of Kim’s tongue, the very tongue that Chay had had down his throat just that morning, and soon after on his- Chay swallows thickly. “Did I not tell you I have a tongue piercing?” Chay shakes his head furiously, much to Kim's amusement. Then, because Kim wants him to die, he takes Chay’s hand, pulls the tip of Chay’s thumb into his mouth and sucks. Chay inhales shakily as Kim lavs over his finger, the tiny ball pressing into his skin in a way that Chay can’t help but imagine being replicated elsewhere. With the look Kim's giving him, he might not have to imagine. Chay's knees almost give out when Kim hollows his cheeks around his finger, teeth teasing the top of his thumb while his piercing strokes the bottom. Kim does this all while making obscene noises and bobbing his head, excessively so, his exaggerated manner an obvious imitation of something else. Finally, mercifully, Kim lets go of him, pulling off his thumb with a dramatic pop. Chay would be lying if he said he couldn’t feel himself straining against his pants. As soon as Kim lets him go, Chay tangles his fingers in Kim’s hair and hauls him in for a bruising kiss. He needs to know how it feels in his own mouth and- Fuck. Their tongues clash together messily, a spike of pleasure shooting through Chay every time he feels the tongue ring run along his. Kim hooks his fingers through Chay’s belt loops and pulls his hips in to grind against each other. They melt together for long minutes with groping hands and insatiable tongues.

Without letting go of Chay's waist, Kim pulls his head back, just enough to look into his eyes as he licks Chay's lips, one long stripe from his lower lip and up to his cupid’s bow. After everything he’s done with Kim, and everything Kim has done to him, that was somehow the most erotic. It destroys the last remaining threads of Chay’ inhibitions and starts dragging Kim to the bedroom as fast as humanly possible, only pausing for a few brief bouts of trying to eat each other's faces.  Once they make it to the bed, Chay lets Kim take the lead. He pushes Chay's shoulders down to make him sit on the edge, then straddles his lap and dives in for another kiss. Chay’s hands reach around to palm Kim’s ass, and fuck, Kim is so hot like this. Chay lets himself be pushed backwards until he lies flat on the bed, Kim still committing sins in his mouth. Chay's vaguely aware of Kim unbuttoning his pants and pulling the fly down, but most of his brain is mush at this point. Chay finally takes notice when Kim pulls away and starts tugging Chay's pants and boxers off. Chay lifts his hips and shuffles further back onto the bed, allowing Kim to fully settle between his legs. Chay's not surprised to see that his cock is rock hard and desperately leaking onto his abdomen. He flinches when Kim runs just a single finger up his length, pressing into the head and pulling a sticky string of precum with it. “Please, please don’t tease me,” Chay nearly sobs, only getting a smirk back from Kim. It's enough though, because soon after Kim takes him in his hand and presses a light kiss to the tip of Chay’s cock. His head flops back onto the mattress and he lets the warmth of ecstasy roll over him. Kim strokes him slowly a few times, leaving more soft kisses up and down his length, before he finally flicks his tongue out - that fucking tongue - and licks Chay from base to tip. Kim's tongue on any day would already be fantastic, but with the tongue ring lightly scraping Chay’s cock, it’s outright divine. Chay's eyes roll back into his head and he thinks he sees god. When he opens them again, it’s Kim between his thighs, suckling the head of his cock and pressing the ball bearing into it ever so slightly, just enough to make Chay go insane.

dont mean to blue balls you hh but its all ive got rn

(send me a prompt!)

[intertexts]

OKAY. HI HI HI HI HI. THOUGHTS ON NHW MAL POWERS

i am going 2 leave the actual classification up to you because i dont have the innate sense of them yet like i do for classpects and such and i know im banned from the wiki rn so ill just talk about. base level What I Think He Can Do.

FIRST OF ALL. THE BIG THING. GHOUL. so. technically if i remember correctly. mal isnt a planeswalker like william is so ghoul is technically a separate being? ghoul is his guide, which is what allows him to go between the real world and the spirit world. HOWEVER. ghoul is nothing to me so in nhw world i think he should just be like. a separate form. mal turns into ghoul and its the same consciousness u know? hes the same guy hes just a freak now. worm comparison i am thinking is like. what rachel does to her dogs except hes doing it to himself. with the gross muscles and bones and big mouth and shit.

OTHER THAN THAT i thinkkkkkk. ok. hear me out. i am going 2 base this on a tweet bizly made forever ago (that im SO MAD i cant find a picture of rn) but the basics was like. u remember that nightmare dakota had back in season 1 where he saw william and vyncent kill summer . that was a nightmare that mal gave him in order to split the three of them up. SO WHAT IF. nhw mal has some sort of dream/mind manipulation abilities or something. hes had so many moments where he just like. appears out of the shadows in order to get them to do what he wants im just imagining the horror of that from an outside perspective just seeing one of the heroes mid battle just Fall Asleep for a while. but to them its like nothing happens and they dont realize it until he leaves and theyre waking up. do you see my vision here.

either that or i think his powers should be like. kind of countered to wibby? i know in pd his powers are similar to williams bc hes a ghost and everything but. im thinking we dont do that in nhw. INSTEAD. maybe in ghoul form or whatever he has heightened senses/abilities that allow him to see through things like invisibility and touch things that are intangible. (thinking abt this strategy-wise, it would be their goal to take him down as mal BEFORE he transforms bc then he becomes almost impossible for william to fight) . maybe this seems too targeted against william specifically but im jsut thinking like. ghoul in general just makes him more powerful and those are just a couple specific advantages he gets? uh oh im running out of words in my brain help

MAYBE THIS IS. TOO MUCH IN TOO MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. so he doesnt have to have all of these at once. i am really just throwing spaghetti noodles at your inbox and seeing what sticks to the wall or whatever the phrase is. hi it took me like an hour to type all of this bc i kept getting distracted and forgetting words!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAHHHH YAYUAYAY THIS IS ALL GOOD SPAGHETTI!!!!!!! too much in too many directions is so fun dude i fucking love being the rubber ducky for shit like this!!

i REALLY ENJOY fucked up body horror changer shit... ough. (thats what him physically changing like rachels dogs would b, as opposed 2 breakers who-- oh god it's too late for this. umm. physical change different than energy form etc.)... he should get 2 be a weird terrifying freak thing. with bone & blood n stuff. & there's precedent for changing in a way that alters ur senses & powers etc..... maybe he choose what and how he transforms to respond in a certain way or target a certain scenario. i dont wanna go fishing rn but remind me tmrw n i'll rb this with some screenshots from ward of the guy im thinking of who this reminds me of!!

that being said the idea of him having big mind manipulation stuff is also SO compelling. god. being able to like... create illusions & scenarios that are completely fake. delude people or put them to sleep or mess with their cognition in ways they dont even notice... alter perception of reality.... especially if he has a wide range of effect?? that goes hard!!! how long would it last... how would u snap out of it... could he make u feel stuff that's not real??? ok ok ok getting off track. anyway. i love the idea of a fight with him being timed because he's transforming.... maybe a form that's just. very good at Seeing Things? mal/ghouls original job was like, as a cleaner for clarence, right? making sure everything in the afterlife's in order? so many choices...

[sunriseverse]

i don't know anything about dmbj but I'm soo very curious about sunriseverse is it doable to just jump in? mwah

oh anon. oh anon. i am gently cradling your face. i am kissing you softly on the mouth. stroking my thumb across your cheek. this is the highest compliment you could possibly have given me.

i think you can probably jump into sunrise without knowing much about dmbj? since sunrise is so radically altered from canon (scifi/historical fusion, aliens(?), the power of gay love, cyborgs) you can kind of hit the ground running in my opinion.

there’s a LOT going on with sunrise but luckily i’ve done an insane amount of research (up until now. and continuing.) and taken meticulous notes of everything i’ve ever said in any dm/discord convo/tumblr post and am currently migrating all of my (9.5k+) notes from various other places onto my notion wiki page (slow going because i don’t currently have reliable wifi or free time. but i’m WORKING ON IT!!!!!! one day it will be completed). most of that isn’t currently available for public viewing (since most of it is just worldbuilding notes for myself) BUT i have a couple different places you can go for info and canon.

1. the (slightly oversimplified) sunrise verse crash course (textpost answer to an ask, 3k+)

2. my sunrise verse fics on ao3 (t, 29k, various pairings—includes my large long-term wip project, the same lies; if you have no knowledge of dmbj i would say start with tsl since it's the sha hai parallel and going into sha hai you don't need to know much, since the main character doesn't know shit either. but fair warning it takes me forever and a day to write updates because they're 5k and i'm still, alas, and forever, a longsuffering academic).

3. my sunrise tag on this blog

4. expanded timeline with notes on certain changes/differences and their causes and effects on my notion wiki timeline page (forgive the lightbulbs; those are research notes for my later self):

5. brief overview of zhang sect sociopolitical power and status, also on my notion wiki:

this is by NO MEANS anywhere NEAR the entirety of sunrise rattling around in my head (and my notes); like i said i have almost 10k of lore-related notes, most of which has yet to be properly organised (my very serious rigorous method of data collection was "copy-paste any relevant material into a notes app note page in the feverish hours of 22:00-04:00") not to mention the 4,000+ words of research notes i have in a different folder on my laptop (and that's only for the books/academic papers i've read!). if you have any questions please ask me because i love nothing more than talking extensively about this au, as my friends can attest.

um, yeah. thanks for the ask, anon!

[abhorrenttheorizer]

PART 1 OF ???

Special thanks to my dear interwebz buddy, @skullmalice, for helping me out with the naming and biology of these little muppets!

Long post/textwalling warning.

Well fellas, you know what they say:

Another day, another downward spiral.

Lately I have been on a bit of a nostalgia kick, looking at some of the things I've been into as a child, and speaking to other people that have been spelunking in the same caves, per se. I met a friend who showed me a piece of my childhood that I had almost completely forgotten. Like a wild animal being reintroduced to its natural habitat, I have been all over this shit, reliving everything I once did as a young maggot. Since that fateful reintroduction, that childhood memory has since become one of the most dangerous hyperfixations I have possibly ever had. /j

Said childhood memory? The Mr. Men and Little Miss franchise. More specifically, The Mr. Men Show, because I am early 2000s old school All American™ zoomer scum. (besides that, the only other thing about the franchise I remember is reading some of the books in 1st grade)

So because I got that dawg in me (read: autism), my naturally inquisitive nature leads me to territories that I should never have even considered for the sake of my own sanity.

Namely one question that's been chewing at the few neurons I have:

Just what the hell even are these things, anyway?

I know the canonical answer. They're stylized, abstract humans. But that's not satisfactory.

Call me a stubborn mule, but you simply cannot convince me that a pill, circle, bean, or rectangle shaped technicolor abomination is in any way, shape, or form, a human being.

Not happening.

Especially not when (at least in every version but the 2000s one) these things have been shown next to and interacting with actual humans on multiple occasions.

These fucking things look like muppets, so I will make them muppets.

It has to happen.

Being the fiend for speculative biology that I am, I simply had to pounce on this opportunity, and promptly tear it a new asshole.

With that being said, Mr. Men speculative biology? Mr. Men speculative biology.

The funny little shape people we all know and love belong to a species of chionophilic, semiaquatic, faerie-like pseudomammalians.

The figure on the far left, is a frog. More specifically a common rain frog (Breviceps adspersus)

reference source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breviceps_adspersus#/media/File:Breviceps-adspersus-adspersus.jpg (forgive me, this is literally, and I don't use that word lightly, the first time I have ever drawn a frog)

The figure in the middle, is a hamster. More specifically a Syrian hamster (Mesocricetus auratus)

reference source: https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/cute-funny-syrian-hamster-gm1019886932-274048800

The figure on the far right, is a frog's sad attempt at being a hamster's sad attempt at being a human. (Mirabilis phasmafigura)

One of the main things that separate Mirabils from other animals they may be morphologically similar to is their bright, vibrant pelage. Unlike animals that utilize certain structures within hairs, scales, or feathers, Mirabils have genuine green, blue, and purple pigments. But why is this? Such unnatural coloration doesn't work well when you're a small cotton ball in a big world of both predators and prey, that is, unless you're an aposematic species.

Mirabils exhibit vibrant fur colors with genuine rare pigments for the purpose of warning potential predators that they are exceptionally poisonous. And venomous. At the same time.

The inside of the Mirabil's mouth also displays a high amount of contrast, a black inner mouth with a vibrant, pink, hot pink or red tongue.

As shown by the image above, there are multiple different ways for mirabils to assert to potential predators that they are not to be reckoned with.

The "Poisonous" warning (as modeled by Mr. Nervous, on the left), involves arching the back, raising the tail either straight up or curling it over the back (if it is long enough), and exposing the front and hind claws (unless they've got kicks on). All parts of the Mirabil are exasperatingly poisonous, so even accidentally sharing food with or ingesting a few hairs from one can and will lead to a 20 minute lifespan with no hope for any antidotes that would work.

The "Venomous" warning (as modeled by Little Miss Bossy, on the right), involves standing straight or with the front end lowered (preparing to strike), spitting their toxic saliva (Unlike with venomous snakes, the venom glands on a mirabil are their salivary glands, so their saliva normally adopts a greenish-yellowish tint (it's not bad hygiene, it's neurotoxins!), and baring the teeth. Mirabils are capable of opening their jaws up to 90 degrees. Similarly to snakes, the bottom jaw is loosely attached by soft ligaments, which aids them in getting a good hold on either potential predators, prey items larger than themselves, or on rivals for mates (they're immune to their own venom, but the pain of being envenomated for a mirabil is similar to that of a yellow jacket sting). Their venom is just as powerful as their poison, and if bitten the lifespan also shortens to about 20 minutes. Also no antidote for magic hellvenom lol.

It is hypothesized that specimens of M. phasmafigura were first discovered in the late 10th century by populations in Northern Europe/Asia, and the far south of South America respectively. Since then, they were first hunted for their luxuriously soft, silky, colorful pelts, then promptly domesticated and assimilated into human society.

Mirabil domestication has a very complicated history, especially with the fact that they as a species were always, and still are in affiliation with wizards, witches, and other alchemists (though usually unwilling on the Mirabil's terms). They were first utilized as hunting and fishing companions, then taken by wizards as servants and laborers (due to their small, nimble hands, swift movements, and magic properties ofc), then as pet-like companions by both wizards and the general populace, and finally as their own independent, sovereign "people" between the late 1970s to early 1980s.

While the species is currently global, existing in many different cultures, elevations, and climates, the natal habitats of the mirabil lie in freshwater polar regions across the world. When freshwater is not available, Mirabils prefer coastal regions where they can hunt in the open sea, but these sorts of populations are relatively uncommon. Populations living in the Southern Hemisphere generally prefer to stay near freshwater regions in the far south of South America, and South Africa, though there are several populations of Mirabils in Antarctica.

Despite the wide birth of location between Arctic and Antarctic populations, Mirabils have highly variable appearances, and are extremely difficult to categorize into any specific groups besides certain trends in sexual dimprohism, though even those contain many traits that are highly variable, and thus difficult to determine.

Similarly to other animals such as the puma, Mirabils have many names based on the regions they are native to.

Some of the names this species has received in it's respective locations are as follows:

BRITISH ISLES - Dillies (for their somewhat immature, "dilly-dallying" nature)

NORTHEASTERN EUROPE/EURASIA - Poumpoffs (puffy creatures)

NORTHWESTERN EUROPE - Eba (onomatopoeic for the paternal calls of most males)

SOUTH AMERICA - Mirabils (for their magical properties)

SOUTH AFRICA - Sagtmense (literally "soft people")

While some gravesites in their native range contain Mirabil bones, or Mirabils buried with human owners/companions, their skeletal and bodily structures have not differed from prior "feral" forms. This is mostly due to the species as a whole actively resisting human advancement in terms of domestication, meaning they have kept almost all of their wild traits.

My lawyer has advised me not to tell you how these things reproduce, so I won't.

Not on Tumblr, anyway. /wink

But that doesn't mean I can't show you what these hellspawn look like as babbies, and how they develop.

Mirabils are an ovoviviparous, holometabolous species, meaning they lay eggs that hatch inside the body, and go through complete metamorphosis with a larval and pupal stage.

The lifespan of the larval mirabil is as follows:

Unfertilized egg

Fertilized egg

Embryo

Mature egg (Eggs hatch within the body anywhere between 6 and 4 months before the larva are born. The growth process of larva quickly damages the egg membrane and splits it open, freeing the young inside.)

Newborn (They have no limbs and a very underdeveloped notochord, so physically they're basically a kitten-maggot. They're completely blind (eyes covered in skin, with just a barely noticeable fold to where the eyelid would separate), but not deaf (though the ear isn't developed, and is still covered over with skin.). They will respond to auditory input by writhing in the direction of sounds they are familiar with, but are unable to produce any noise themselves, besides forcing air out of the nostrils to "squeak" if they are disturbed.

Oral anatomy of the baby mirabil (As well as having no limbs or bones besides the skull, mirabil larva are jawless. The mouth is designed to form a seal while feeding. Larva will stop suckling to breathe, but they will remain attached for several years).

5 year old infant. As the mirabil reaches around 5 years, they will detach and their mouth will start to seal itself shut, leaving only a small hole for wax to exit from as it prepares for pupation. Before the mouth completely seals itself shut, they may swallow liquified regurgitated materials, usually of heavily chewed plant or fungal matter brok the parents. Once the mouth is completely unuseable, what they have eaten as their "final meal" will repeatedly cycle back and forth from what would be the end of the digestive system, similar to chewing cud except there's no chewing and it's far nastier. Mirabil larva from birth to pupation are unable to defecate, the divet on their rear ends is meant to produce a glue-like substance so they can properly anchor themselves while feeding so they don't dangle, so the stored milk and regurgitated matter that remains in the body will ferment, getting pushed back into the esophagus to be cycled again and again until pupation occurs and the entire internal body digests itself.

Mature infant of 9 years, just about to pupate. The mouth is completely sealed shut, and the salivary glands are modified to produce a brown, waxy substance that the pup envelopes themself in prior to pupation. Eyelids are more developed, but still completely sealed shut until pupation is complete.

Completed cocoon of the baby mirabil. Pupation takes an extra 9 months as the infant produces extra bones, a completed digestive system, and extra organs they did not previously have.

What finally emerges after 9 long months of gross shit, is a variably-sized cotton ball with legs and a face.

Mature babies emerge from their cocoons when they're about 10 years old (our human equivalent to a newborn). Their eyes are open, and they are somewhat mobile, able to shuffle around on their stubby legs and "sit" upright. They don't have any teeth, instead clawing their way out of the cocoon, and will continue to suckle until they are weaned at about 11 years old. Mirabil aging is around 10 years behind their human equivalent (a 21 year old human and a 21 year old mirabil are not the same, the latter is developmentally on par with a human 11 year old).

Their lifespans are also quite long, with an average lifespan of 210.5 years for females and 215.5 years for males.

Baby mirabils will begin to develop a personality and thus recieve their titular names once they are able to move around more independently. Names for physical characteristics are usually given immediately after the baby leaves the cocoon. When named for a personality trait, the most emotionally significant (or lack thereof) moment in a mirabil's life that occurs before they are able to walk upright becomes their strongest personality trait, and thus their name.

Not all Mirabil larvae are a solid white, however. Some larvae have slight indicators as to how they will look like in adulthood, though some indicators of traits present in adulthood do not present themselves until after pupation.

Such indicators include:

Nasal spotting (for Mirabils with noses that are different to the base fur color, their larval forms will almost always have a colored nose with a ring of differently colored fur surrounding it. The bottom larva in figure 2 and the yellow pup in figure 4 are the same, with the larval form indicating that the pupated, and finally adult form will be a yellow individual with a purple nose.)

Brow spots (This indicator does not show itself until after pupation. The pup in figure 3 has dark spots above the eyes that, after puberty will form a bar or 'unibrow' in adulthood.)

Dipsticking (This indicator also does not show itself until after pupation. Dipsticking in Mirabil pups, like the individual in figure 5 have a spot of differently colored fur on the tip or most of the tail. This implies that the pup will grow up to have "hair", or a differently colored mane and tail from the rest of the body. In this case, this individual will grow to have a mane and tail that are a dark purple in color.)

And so that concludes my first of probably several Mr. Men specbio posts.

Uhhhh ermmmm thanks for reading i guess 😳

[the-punforgiven]

Hey, i wanted to ask because you seem to know your stuff, do you have any resources/books/sites you recommend for people who wanna know more about knights?

To be honest I'm really not sure, most of what I know comes from just like, hearing it secondhand and then googling it later tbh

If you're more in the market for dry academia I've heard an effective approach is like, searching for weapons/armor/whatever on wikipedia, and then like, scolling down to their sources for something interesting to read, but idk if that's your speed (Tbh it's usually not mine either, unless I'm having a catastrophic autism moment lol)

To be honest the place I got the majority of my knowledge from is just from like, getting curious about random shit and googling it, I really wish I had better resources I could give but tbh I often just like, don't really keep track about what I'm googling, I just google some shit like "What centuries were people wearing close helms" or whatever and then just read several different pages to make sure the information lines up

Or I'll hear something in passing about like, "The heaviest sword ever used in battle was 7 feet long and weighed 14 pounds" or something and google that one, which opened up a huge rabbit hole for me that was very fun to dig down into

(Admittedly, whenever I'm curious about something related to combat or swordsmanship techniques, I usually end up finding my way back to this wiki specifically though)

I also got a lot of what I know specifically from like, traveling medieval festivals and my SCA friends, so if you can find a festival or a branch of the SCA around wherever you live I'm sure you can find some nerds willing to share weird history facts with you

Because to be honest, basically all my knowledge of knights and such just came from either random idle curiosity or word of mouth + google. Like, Listen to something cool someone says, google it, voraciously consume information on the topic, repeat

That's also why my knowledge is very very spotty, I have a lot of knowledge but it's full of weird gaps that make it difficult to really talk about what I know with other people who like, actually know their shit lol

Alternatively again I know there are plenty of youtubers who like talking history, I know Skallagrim is a popular one (and largely responsible for making End Him Rightly a meme back in the day) but tbh I kinda fell off watching his videos a few years back so I have no idea what kinda content he's making nowadays

If you're more interested in the swordplay than the history I know I got my start on that from the Blood and Iron HEMA channel, but admittedly I fell off from watching their videos a few years back as well lol

That said I also recommend googling the shit out of whatever youtubers say that piques your fancy, since idk I've found youtubers are more likely to get their sources mixed up than anyone else for some reason

I'm sorry I really don't have much in terms of resources to give you tbh, basically everything I know came from me hearing about something cool and falling down a rabbit hole googling it

The only other advice I can give is that if you see a weapon in a videogame that's got a fancy name that sounds like, vaguely european, maybe try googling that too, you might find something neat!

Sorry for the wall of text also, and doubly sorry there's so little substance in it ;-;

@history mutuals please share whatever you've got below, for both anon and me lol

[thegodthief]

Dreamt I was at work and work was being an extra special shit show. A surprise power outage just made everything worse and some of the staff had either not shown up for work or fucked off for the day.

I was at the front desk trying to salvage some semblance of civility in the face of a family that was pissed as hell that their favorite grocery store had gone out of business with no warning, and somehow that was my workplace's responsibility. (Spoiler: it's not. The clients are just that demanding and entitled in the waking.)

Suddenly, there were another pair of hands available as someone came behind the desk and started helping me with data entry and paperwork. Together, we got the hot mess at the front resolved and I got the clearance to lock the front door and declare the office closed for the day.

I turned to the mysterious helper. I have never seen her before. Come to think of it, her appearance keeps changing even as I'm staring at her. I realize that I have the taste of metal in my mouth.

"Hello, Traveler. It's been a while since I have encountered others."

She smiles. "No, it's been a while since you started letting yourself be aware of others."

Ouch. She's right.

She laughed at my silent agreement. "You have this dream settled, so I'm going to let you get some rest. We'll meet again, I'm sure."

I meant to ask her name, or some kenning to know her by, but the moment I thought of asking it, I already knew the answer.

Advena.

I could feel the language it came from slipping around my tongue: Latin.

She smiled at my recognition. Without words, she told me that our encounters were not complete but I still had more to learn about her, and about myself. She banished herself from my dream with her own bright laughter.

So now, it's day, and I'm awake and making it everyone else's problem. I get a chance to sit down and look up what the word advena means in Latin.

Noun: advena m or f (genitive advenae); first declension 1. outsider, foreigner, stranger, alien. Synonyms: aliēnus, aliēnigena, peregrinus Source: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/advena#Latin

Oh.

It's gonna be that way, then.

We'll see how this turns out.

[near-dareis-mai]

Hi! I'm the anon who asked about Moirane and Siuan and I'm crying so much, I never expected you would be so incredibly awesome and kind with your reply. I was honestly shocked by it and I literally have no words to thank you for all the time and effort that must have taken. I was expecting a short and simple "They interact two more times and never see each other again" or something like that at most but you went so far with it and it seriously means the world to me. I also absolutely loved your funny comments, you had me laughing in many parts.

And yeah, that's actually why I couldn't find anything explicit about what happened to them, I didn't exactly know what to look for, their wiki pages barely mention their relationship to each other outside of New Spring and I've seen some tumblr posts but they're not specific. Some mentioned Moiraine dying, Siaun dying, them never speaking again but implying it ended on bad terms or that they just never cared about each other again after their last meeting so I was just getting more and more confused, that's why you even including moments when they thought about each other even after believing the other was death meant everything to me.

And you were right, learning more about it made me happy because of the knowledge and because of the affirmation that even after everything they still thought about each other and how this entire series basically started because of them (which makes it worse that they didn't have a proper culmination regarding that) but it also made me so sad and even more mad.

One of the things that surprised the most was what happened to Siaun, I've read many fans say that while they don't care about Thom that much, they do love Garrett and his relationship with Siaun so imagine my surprise when I read that he was an old man infatuated with his "almost teenage slave". How can anyine love that? There is no context or excuse that would make that entire relationship better in my eyes, I'm so shocked. And the way she changed I just can't believe it. Of course so far my take of Siaun comes from Sophie's interpretation so I can't, in no way, imagine that woman that I met in episode 6 behaving like you just described. It's so absolutely awful and wrong, he created an entire different character and said it was Siaun! I'm absolutely shocked.

And Moiraine's story got no better either. I knew she and Siaun weren't really gonna have a happy ending, definitely not together, but I had NO IDEA the Lan/Moiraine beautiful platonic relationship would also be ruined. Again, I just know them from what I've seen on the show so I can't even begin to comprehend a world were Moiraine is believed dead for a long time, then comes back and her and Lan don't try to at least fix their relationship. I know the Warder thing is complicated but I always liked to believed that their love for each other was more than just the bond, that they really loved and cared about each other as friends, so I'm really sad about that just being destroyed.

I'm really sad that Siuan had the opposite of character growth for the most part and then had an awful ending that wasn't even an important part of the story and that Moiraine ended without the people she loved the most, with a guy that didn't respect her. That was also shocking, I can't believe the Moiraine I got to know would not only marry a man intimidated or threatened by her power but that she would tell him she would renounce her power for him. I just can't imagine that ever coming out of her mouth. I know she changed and suffered and stuff but it doesn't make sense.

I'm not from the USA and finding the books is a bit hard here but I found a way to buy New Spring online so I got that one and I will definitely read it! The little bits you wrote about it had me squealing and hugging my pillow because of the cuteness and gayness and just knowing that it focuses on my two best girls and Lan made me instantly get it. I will just try and pretend their ending was different though lol I know fans of book series hate changes, I get that in a way but hopefully some things do change in the show because I'm just no ready to accept some of the things I just read.

I know the story was never about Moiraine and Siuan, but knowing that they were meant to know each other, all thins that they accomplished together, both of them hearing that prophecy and starting this mission together, basically the whole plot of the book, for that to not have a real ending. Just using them to start the engine but then not having a good resolution about it? And I don't even mean a happy ending, but something!

There are so many more things I could say and I have so many opinions about this and I'm still in awe that you took the time to do this but I'm not gonna make this longer than it needs to be and bore you even more, you already did too much for me and I will absolutely treasure everything you wrote and I will save it so I can read it many more times.

Thank you so much for everything, I hope you have the nicest of days!

Spoilers for the entire Wheel of Time book series

You're quite welcome. I hope you enjoy New Spring! However, I feel dutybound to warn you that there's triggering content in the book.

(TW for grooming: In New Spring, Lan has interactions with a woman who basically groomed him when he was a child. The narrative tries to pass it off as a Malkieri cultural thing, but. It. Is. Grooming. So go in forewarned.)

I've read many fans say that while they don't care about Thom that much, they do love Garrett and his relationship with Siaun so imagine my surprise when I read that he was an old man infatuated with his "almost teenage slave". How can anyine love that?

(I hate defending Gareth Bryne but i feel honourbound to clarify: he only thinks Siuan is ~18 when he begins to chase her down. When he finds her and realizes who she really is - the deposed Amyrlin - he realizes she's 42 years old, and is still utterly infatuated with her, so it becomes un-creepy at that point. Again, I HATE having to defend this man but he's meeting the very low bar here.)

I presume it's easier for some people to find Gareth/Siuan romantic than Thom/Moiraine because if you're not thinking too hard about it, the barebones of Gareth/Siuan fits certain romantic tropes that were popular in the 90s and early 2000s (a highly decorated lord/general falling in love with a commonborn fisherman's daughter when she's lost all her power, a highly ambitious woman finding that what she actually values is romantic love above all else, the whole servant-master dynamic, etc). Everyone can ship whatever they want, but I will never see eye-to-eye with people who find it romantic, and I personally want to beat Gareth Bryne to death with my bare hands for what his introduction into the narrative does to Siuan's arc and personality.

Of course so far my take of Siaun comes from Sophie's interpretation

IMO Sophie is a perfect Siuan, I really can't see anyone else in that role anymore and I feel like she really gets across the complex and seemingly contradictory facets that make up Siuan's personality in the books perfectly - and she's why I hate Siuan's character deterioration in the later books even more now than before I watched the show, because imagine Sophie!Siuan putting up with any of that, LMAO.

but I had NO IDEA the Lan/Moiraine beautiful platonic relationship would also be ruined

Yeah. Sorry. i don't have even snippets to comfort with you here but the good news is the show most likely won't treat their relationship as something to be discarded by the wayside. IIRC, Rafe Judkins - the WoT showrunner - got a huge binder from amazon of fans' opinions on what they want improved from the books to the show, and one of those was fans asking for a proper resolution/interactions for them. so like. have hope.

Enjoy New Spring!

[sketching-shark]

So since you’re The Person Anons Go To To Complain About Lego Monkey Kid; I figured I’d get this out of my system while also asking for your two cents.

I don’t think the LMK crew have read JTTW. Best case scenario I think they either got some word of mouth stories and read some wiki articles.

And a lot of this comes down to their characterization of SWK and the way the world treats him.

In the book, SWK has a kingdom of monkey, but they’re YAOGUAI monkeys who are capable of speech, making an army, are enslaved several times, and were straight up referred to as his family multiple times. Meanwhile, the show just… doesn’t acknowledge his subjects? They’re at best represented as regular monkeys who wander around the island, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen SWK or MK interact with them on screen. They’re essentially background dressing.

Then you’ve got the season three episode where SWK has stage fright, which… he never really had any fear of public speaking (even to Buddha himself), and straight up gets into a massive public competition and cuts out his own entrails just to prove another guy isn’t immortal. (Even in their own series, they have confirmed SWK starred in his own movie and did voice acting for a game)

Honestly, I get the vibe that the writers care more about the archetype boxes they can fit SWK into rather then who he really is. The rest of the JTTW crew should still be alive? Well no, we need SWK to be our Hermit Mentor. We’ll just imply they’re all dead (or abandoned him for no reason). Sun Wukong has a family of monkeys? Well we can’t have that! Make them regular monkeys so he’s Truly Alone (and also ignore that he can talk to animals).

Sun Wukong is a king, and has been shown to be incredibly comfortable in his public speaking? Well we can’t have that! Because Macaque is our resident theater kid, and we need them to be Literary Parallels! Nevermind the fact Sun Wukong barely interacted with him in the book, but deeply loved Demon Bull King, and DBK has an actual reason to feel betrayed by him.

I’m not bothered by the changes like Macaque having been his old friend at one point or dead characters being alive or even the choice to not acknowledge SWK’s buddha status (in fact, I enjoy some of these), but it’s… really disheartening to see my favorite character be relegated to Lonely Mentor and Macaque’s Sun. He deserves a lot better then the show is giving him, honestly.

SADFAWEGDFGAD anon that was something I said as a jest but haha wow I guess I'm starting to get a reputation (X_X).

But ANYWAY okay folks you know the drill I sometimes find it fun to be a hater so heads up for that and remember that "don't like, don't read" goes both ways <3.

---

But to get to your main gripe anon, now that you've said it I wouldn't be surprised at all if that was the case...like as it is there's already been a number of cases I'm aware of from twitter where members of the LMK crew have put their collective foot in their collective mouth & came across as pretty insulting to Chinese deities for it, & then doubled down with that whole "it's our interpretation uwu" mentality which is, to put it mildly, a kind of shitty thing to do. And in regards to the main monkey himself--and in full acknowledgement of the very blatant hints they've given that there's a lot more going on with lego show Sun Wukong then has been revealed so far, it does at times seem like they're making their version of the Monkey King more in line with the "dumbass monkey who breaks everything" western stereotype than the complex trickster figure you find in the og classic...like of course there are indications that this Sun Wukong may be the one of the more tragic Sun Wukongs out there in that he's been left after the journey with no friends, no companions, no kingdom in any real way, and everyone in the entire world who's met him in person, with a few exceptions, seems to hate his guts. And you could actually refer to Xiyouji itself for explanations on why a lot of that might be: the monkey yaoguai of Mt. Huaguoshan go through centuries of lethal trauma even before the Six Eared Macaque treated them as his personal tools while he was "Sun Wukong," which could have convinced the survivors that the real monkey king had become a wicked tyrant and thus they all ran away in fear; Sun Wukong may have ended up with a case of stage fright from the journey itself because of all the times that Tang Sanzang tortured him for speaking his mind; and Sun Wukong did enrage the entirely of heaven pre-journey before largely becoming an enemy of yaoguai during the journey itself...hell, in the og classic he even starts weeping because after he was banished from the pilgrim group he feels like he has no place he could go :(.

THAT SAID, during the events of Monkie Kid itself Sun Wukong often does come across as a doofus who's doofery gets everyone into serious trouble. Just to give a few examples: him joking around & not focusing during a high-stakes situation is the reason a 4th ring of samadhi was created which got embedded into Bai Longma & eventually into Long Xiaojiao; him lying to Qi Xiaotian & telling him he was going on "vacation" even though he was running around looking desperately for a way to stop the Lady Bone Demon is a major reason she became as powerful as she did; and his entire plan to stop the Lady Bone Demon, massive threat that she is, is presented even by him as flimsy and paper-thin, something made all the worse by the danger the monkie crew was put into in the effort to get the rings & by his refusal to share all the details of it with them until it's too late. And then of course there's the Six Eared Macaque's whole thing where he's violently obsessed with Sun Wukong because they apparently used to be the best of friends before the Monkey King got power hungry, betrayed everyone, and then killed him. So far we haven't gotten so much as a brief flashback that gives Sun Wukong's thoughts about of any of this, so you can see why even if it's not the overarching intent many people would take the message to be "Sun Wukong = sucks." And it's something you see reflected in a lot of the fanart and fanfic around Monkie Kid; practically the only person the Monkey King's ever depicted anymore as being in a good relationship with is Macaque (fandoms tend to hyperfocus on 2 dudes who despise each other but have a more friendly history), many AUs make him an irredeemable selfish asshole, and/or he's being depicted as someone who fully deserves to be yelled at & hated by everyone because of the bullshit he pulled that got everyone hurt. In many ways, LMK Sun Wukong does have numerous similarities to TLJ Luke Skywalker in the way these sequels to their stories made them fail-hermits.

Now of course it must be acknowledged that across the centuries that Sun Wukong has been a popular figure in Chinese culture's he's gone through a TON of different retellings and interpretations. The monkey king has been depicted as everything from a pious and devoted monk to a crude and lecherous yaoguai to a being that is simultaneously monkey, human, yaoguai, and buddha and who is defined above all else by the capacity for great violence, great restraint, and a powerful and active love for those he considers his family. Even so, it is kind of disappointing that even with allowing for the possibility of Monkie Kid still being able to give satisfying answers for why their Sun Wukong acts the way he does, a good part of his lego show portrayal so far has just been him acting like a careless jester with disastrous consequences and, even if he doesn't mean to, hurting one person after another to the point where his actions, even if inadvertently, even if largely against his will, played a big part in helping the Lady Bone Demon almost succeed in her attempt to destroy all of reality.

Like...how do you even try to atone for that?

[tokyogruel]

Shidou! 1, 2, 5, and 9!

1. favorite song lyrics?

i answered this one here! and kind of glad i did, it got loonngg,,

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

(lines/translation taken from the milgram wiki)

molech:

"Es ...... Even if this is referred to as an interrogation, at this moment in time, I don't plan on using violence. In addition to that, any falsehood or silence from you will be acknowledged."

and later....

"Es Don't you dare… pat my head like that! *Kicks*

Shidou Nnngh...! P-Please hold on for a second...!"

"Es Shut up! Out of all the prisoners thus far, you're the one I can't stand the most. Going all pessimistic like that, running your mouth as if you knew everything, acting as if you're oh-so mature, and never budging from that composed expression of yours—the nerve of you! On top of that, you even went so far as to pat my head. Do you think I'm your child? Do you?! Don't fuck with me!"

these arent even really shidous lines though DXFGCHVJB

aesculapius:

"Es You're a doctor. I've deduced that your murders happened in the context of medical procedures.

Shidou ..."

,,,

"Shidou I need to be punished… but I need to stay alive, or young lives will be lost. I… I don't know what to wish for anymore. I'm starting to think… that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven. Despite being so riddled with sins…!"

9. do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

well, what are we defining as his crime? thats a complicated answer

heres some theories i have, and my feelings on them:

the organ thief theory:

my interpretation of this one is that shidou did not pull the plug on braindead patients, or botch surgeries intentionally. shit like that can be tracked in the medical field- and will be stopped, swiftly. my idea is that shidou may twist his words, or try very very hard to convince families to pull the plug on their loved ones. "there are people who need the organs your family member can provide. youd be doing what's right"

i... dont know. i dont think i really would forgive him for this, depending on how he goes about it. it's important, yes, to tell people that donating organs is worthwhile post-mortem. but the decision to pull the plug on someone you love should not be over-influenced by some jackass who happens to have a degree in fuckery.

the "my wife and kids" theory:

(for clarification, i believe his family is an intricate day-dream of his, rather than his reality, but for this ill be speaking as if his family is real)

my interpretation of this one is that shidou took the heart of one of his children to give to his wife after an accident. i would forgive him for this- if his child is beyond saving but his wife could survive with a transplant, he is well within his right to make that decision on behalf of his family. even if it sucks

the "drunk driver" theory:

ive mentioned this one on my blog before, but havent gone into the details of it just yet. i also need to compile my evidence for it- but im pretty confident in it.

the theory is thus: shidou gets intoxicated, perhaps to celebrate- and decides, in all his adult-brained wisdom- that its fine if he drives afterward. he ends up crashing his car, either into another car or directly into civilians. he kills a child.

i would not forgive him if this is his crime

[thegeminisage]

one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean's weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean's dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference ("you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you're roma downey?")

references to real life phenomenon ("i don't wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice" "try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla")

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude ("easy there, van damme" "so i’m girl interrupted" furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of "chucklehead" "asshat" and on the nicer/endearments end "buddy" "pal" "sunshine" etc)

an idiom ("a snowball's chance" "if it smells like a duck...")

slang ("drinking the koolaid" "jonesing for some hooch" not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor ("power up your batteries" "fly me back to my page on the calendar")

a euphemism ("cloud seeding" "i'd have given you an hour alone with her first")

sarcasm (his habit of replying "peachy" or "super" when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire "vampirate" and "werepire" debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: "it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?")

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there's an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean's pop culture references, because the average viewer won't have seen everything he's talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don't understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that's because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going "what the fuck is WRONG with them?"

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn't help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean's mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he's talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester's way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental "dean winchester dictionary" and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he's telling dean that he can't understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean's tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean's jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says "it was a witch, not the tet offensive." since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: "you wanna just walk right into the death star?" cas: "what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?"). whenever he asks dean to clarify it's always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he's too annoyed to care. (dean: "i don't know who's on first, what's on second!" cas: "what IS second???") i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it's season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don't remember what season he started using "yeah" instead of "yes" but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don't think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that's something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what's true romance, fellas? it's falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he's ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[spn masterpost]

[polyamorous-eleven]

I saw on wiki that people from school call Lucas “midnight” because of his skin color.

But I want to change it into something nice for our boy. So, little hopclair drabble.

・。.・

Lucas finally makes his way to El, who is waiting for him in front of the school gates. He smiles at her, and starts to ask how was her day, but it’s when they both hear someone yelling “Bye, Midnight!” in his direction.

Lucas stiffens, starts scratching his head, and isn’t able to look into El’s eyes. He’s just ashamed of it. Of how people treat him and see him. And yes, he’s used to it, but he doesn’t want his girlfriends to hear it. To see how they treat him outside the people close to them.

El immediately sees that he’s distressed. She just knows his expressions, as well as she knows Max’s. They both matter to her so much, and she loves just looking at them, exploring their faces and learning any new expression they can make. That’s how she knows when something is not right. They are making that kind of expression. 

She comes closer to him, her boots meeting his, and cups his face in her hands, making him bend a little. 

“Lucas.” She says only, and even though her voice is soft and quiet, it’s also grounding. 

Lucas now can’t avoid looking into her eyes, and when he does, he sees question as well as reassurance there. It makes him breathe out slowly, calming himself.

“Sorry, El. It’s just that I don’t want you to hear how they call me. I’m... ashamed, I guess.” He tells her sincerely, placing his hand on her palm that still is on his cheek.

They learnt at the very beginning of their new, weird relationship that talking and being honest is a key to it. If they want it to work, they can’t hide their feelings and fears. 

“Oh.” El breathes, glancing for a moment at people behind Lucas. “Does it hurt you?” 

When she speaks, he can feel huffs of air on his mouth, and he has to force himself to not just kiss her here and now. But it’s not a good time, he knows. El wouldn’t like it either. So he doesn’t. Instead, he just closes his eyes for a moment.

“I mean, yeah, but I’m used to it.“ He opens his eyes, smiling slightly. “And I know that my warrior girl would like to fight them now, but it’s okay. You don’t have to.” She doesn’t look convinced, so Lucas runs a thumb over her palm. “Really.”

El huffs, not agreeing with him, knowing how bulling hurt, but she knows that Lucas knows his own feelings best. So she nods, and Lucas kisses her on the nose, making her giggle. 

His kisses always makes her giggle.

“So. Home?” Lucas asks, when his girl steps next to him, and takes his hand.

“Mine or yours?” El start walking and so does Lucas. “Or Max’s?” She adds after a second. She knows that right now, they can’t do that and Max explained everything to them earlier, but she still wants to see her again. They didn’t see her only three days so far, but El already misses her.

Lucas elbows her lightly, laughing at her expression. “Don’t make that face. You sure know that we can’t go to Max. But... maybe mine tonight?”

El nods, swinging their joined hands cheerily, focusing on Lucas and a warm feeling that she feels holding his hand.

It’s nice.

It’s nice until El starts the topic of Lucas’ bulling again.

“I think it's nice. How they called you then.” And he looks at her with a questioning look, because he knows that sometimes she just can’t express herself enough. And he can’t figure out, what she means by that. 

“I just think that ‘Midnight’ sounds nice. Romantic. I’ve never heard that word, or think about it, but now when I hear it, I think of you. Sitting on the grass, full moon behind you, making your hair glow, making you look like an angel. You smile at me and Max, when you take our hands and just hold them. You are the most beautiful things in the world for me at that time, and I think how much I love you.”

El ends, coming back from her dreaming state. When she does that, she always doesn’t know what is happening to her body and things around her. She just shuts down everything else.

Right now, she realizes slowly that they are no longer walking, but they hands are still joined. She follows Lucas’ hand to his arm, and then to his face.

“Oh” She mutters, because she sees Lucas looking to his other side, trying to hide his tears from her. His other hand hides his lips, and El is terrified that she just said something really stupid.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you, Lucas.” She explains and wants to let go of his hand, but he squeezes her hand a little tighter, telling her that he doesn’t want to.

El fiddles with her skirt, waiting for Lucas to calm down.

But he doesn’t take time to calm down. He titles her head in his direction with his other hand, and when El sees his eyes, he doesn’t look hurt. Not at all. Even though he clearly is crying. 

She waits.

“El, you didn’t hurt me. Not at all. I’m just happy because I can date two most incredible women in that world. I love you, too.” This time, Lucas can’t hold himself as he steals a little kiss from El’s lips, surprising her.

But he had to, had to let her know that she didn’t do anything wrong. On the contrary, she just made one of the names that people call him from hatred, sound like a compliment when coming from her lips.

El kisses him back, surprising them both. It was also a short kiss, only a peck even, but it made both of them smile wide for the rest of their way home.

[case-electris]

I feel you with the lack of idv requests right now. I love writing for it but not a lot of people request for it.

So I was wondering if you could write me something for Victor. I’ll honestly take anything. You could pick the plot but I am partial to either fluff or angst.

I love him very much and I’m bringing back my postmain arc.

the timing of this was actually amazing i swear- anyways, time for some fluff, i had to look at both victor's wiki and what different flowers mean for this fic lol (i was looking at your tumblr earlier before i went back to being a robbie main lol so hi, hello i think your really cool)

~ Victor Grantz x GN! fluff ~

Words, Victor had never been good at them instead opting to keeping his mouth shut and blending into the crowd. In the manor he was still a postman, nothing really changed but his surroundings. On occasion someone new would join the manor with the addition of these new people, nothing would really change for victor, well that would be till you joined the manor.

He had never been so infatuated with someone before, he wanted to learn everything about you, talk to you more, but Victor didn't know why. Was it how you looked? How you acted? Was it love? That feeling of just being a tool for others to use was gone when he helped you, when you helped him, when you just exist was it love? he wasn't sure. For once victor had a secret of his own to keep.

Often Victor would find himself writing letters to you, expressing how he felt, only for them to be left unsent. Well that was until he had enough and started sending letters to you as a secret admirer. The little exited squeaks victor could here from your room as you read his letters set his heart ablaze. His letters seemed to have a positive affect on you too.

Eventually he had to do it, confess, get rid of the cover of being anonymous, both for himself and for you. Victor wrote two things one, a letter to be received by you telling to meet your secret admirer in the garden near the pink camellias. And the second for when your in the garden, the letter professing his love. Rewriting the letter over and over again, nothing seemed to come out right, eventually just giving up and writing his feelings down, putting them in a nice clean envelop and collapsing onto his bed.

As the day of victor's reckoning began he dropped his first letter off at your room and ran to get to his match on time. By noon he was completely knackered, wanting nothing more than drift off to sleep. But he couldn't, he still had to tell you he loved you. After making himself look presentable victor went to the garden, happy there was no sign of emma.

After making sure he had the letter with him, victor looked around the garden, pretty flowers littered the flowerbeds, butterflies hovering from place to place, it was perfect. Suddenly you came through the door, victor took one look at the expression on your face and... he was relieved, you looked happy to see him.

Victor averted his eyes, trying his best not to make contact with yours, and handed you the other letter. After giving it a read you looked back up from the parchment and at victor. Then taking your hand to his chin forcing him to look you in the eyes. Finally it was happening, you were kissing him! the kiss was nice, slow and took his breath way. At long last, you were his and he was yours.

[ot3]

hey kinda heavy ace attorney question ig but I agree with you on many things about aa and feel like you have a good understanding of Phoenix and Trucy so I really wanna ask. How do you think the creation of the bloody ace was handled? I’ve seen the idea that Trucy took matters into her own hands and made it as a failsafe without his knowledge, and that he then covered for her, but if that were the case I wonder how he knew about it and planned around it at his trial. I’ve also seen the idea that he made it himself, but gave it to her for delivery to Apollo; which maybe seems the most apparent but I really dislike it because…. It means he uses her to deliver forged evidence. In much the same way he was given the diary page, really. it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve also seen some people suggest that he made it but only gave it to her for use at her discretion, which does give some agency back to her but I also question whether Phoenix would be right in placing that on her shoulders and making it her responsibility. Sorry this expanded into a ridiculously long ask but I really am curious about your take on it?

eoooh yes yes yes i love talking about phoenix and trucy lets goooooo. i actually have a scene from my (still pretty rough and probably never to be finished) wip longfic covering this scene, which ill sick below the cut, but i'll just give my generic thoughts here first.

i think phoenix asked her to do it. trucy having enough detailed knowledge of the crime scene and the events leading up to it and the actual mechanical operation of trials that would be required in order to come up with this plan just doesn't make any sense to me. phoenix is really the only one who could have theoretically concocted this particular move. but since he was presumably held in the detention center until trial, trucy is from there really the only person who could have actually done the thing.

phoenix and trucy are pretty notoriously codependent; i'm headachey and melting from the heat today so rather than doing what i normally do and trawling the wiki to find the quotes that back me up on broadstrokes statements like these so i'm just gonna pull a 'dude just trust me' moment here. the fact that she helps take care of her daddy is a point of pride for her. i don't think it strips trucy of any agency for this to be phoenix's decision because it's not like trucy spends her whole life (or even the entire game) blindly following other peoples orders. her (and phoenix's ) priority at the beginning of aa4 is each other and their own wellbeing, and the decisions they have to make in turnabout trump are indicative of that.

yes, it echoes her bringing the forged evidence to phoenix 7 years ago, but it's more of an inversion/reversal (one might even say a turnabout) than a repetition of past mistakes. in the past she was an unwilling pawn in someone else's plan where her life was collateral, now she's an active and conscious participant in the plan of someone she cares about that she's doing to protect the life she and phoenix have built for themselves. She's not being forced to do it, but i don't think there's any world where she would have said no either. she and phoenix are the most important thing in the world to each other. in their own words, if one of them falls, they both fall.

was it right of phoenix to ask this of her? was it okay for him to do this to apollo, too? obviously it's not a good thing. but it was his only option at that moment. phoenix found himself in a very difficult situation. as an attorney he promised himself to the truth, and that was the principle he lived by, but as a father what he lives by is the promise he made to trucy to never disappear on her. at that moment phoenix did what he had to do to make sure the trial ended the way he needed it to. truth had to take a backseat. his priorities have shifted.

i've also spoken before at length about how i don't think phoenix was plotting against kristoph in the longterm, at least not to the degree which popular fanon seems to agree upon. so really everything he did in turnabout trump was phoenix being backed into a corner using every tool at his disposal to try and snatch victory out of the jaws of defeat. was it right of him to get trucy involved? it's no worse than bringing 8 year old pearl along to crime scenes because he needed her channeling skills. phoenix cares about people deeply but he isn't capable of shielding them from all the harm the world has to offer, and he knows he isn't. half of his capability comes from his shrewdness and willingness and ability to take help when he can get it because he knows, even if its a strain in a short term, he's fighting battles that need to be won at any cost. if that makes any sense

anyway heres the little scene i wrote below the cut.

---------- APRIL 17TH, 2026 DETENTION CENTER VISITOR’S ROOM ----------

Trucy shows up on the dot as visiting hours begin. It’s funny, she thinks. The last time she did this she had a different daddy altogether. Only it really isn’t particularly funny at all, is the thing about it, and she’s going to have quite a few stern words for the man when he gets home.

She picks up the phone on one side of the pane of bulletproof glass and he grabs the other.

“Daddy,” she huffs. “You promised me you’d stay out of trouble.”

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry, Truce.” He puts on an easy smile as he says it, and he uses the same affected tone of voice she had used to start the conversation off. Affected. Cautious, in the sense that it’s levity is entirely manufactured. A performance.

It had been like that between them for real at the beginning, both of them still unsure of each other, pantomiming something resembling a sitcom and playing the real feeling filled in as it went. Thankfully, it did, but the theatrics still lend themselves better to specific conversation.

“Well, if you’re sorry, I suppose I can forgive you! But this isn’t going to look good on your employee review, y’know. I’ll have to bring it up with HR.”

“I’m sure Charley can find it in his heart to forgive me, too.”

“He’s a gentle soul.” She nods.

“You should come watch the trial on Monday, I think it’d be good for you to see.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Trucy doesn’t like the courthouse. Daddy knows that. She never comes when he goes to use the library there. She also hates, hates the idea of watching her daddy sit in the defendant’s chair not knowing if he’s ever going to come home again. He knows that too.

“Well, there are always interesting things to learn during a court trial. Plus, having you there would help me out a lot!” I need you to do something for me. She reads through the tone into his words’ real meaning. Her stomach clenches. A favor he can’t just outright ask for, not over the phone in the detention center, where every word would be recorded.

“Oh, daddy, no! I’m a magician, not a lawyer, although I understand the confusion.” She drapes a hand over her eyes in faux anguish. “I simply couldn’t, it isn’t my stage.”

“I disagree. I think it’s a perfect stage. Lawyers need cheering up too, you know! Back when I was a lawyer, I used to get really stressed out during cases like these. I bet one of your tricks would do the job.”

“Well what sort of trick do you want me to do?”

“Do you remember the first trick you ever did for me? It was the day we met, at the courthouse. You pulled a piece of paper out of your hat and gave it to me.”

“Yes,” she chirps, forcing a vibrant bubble into her voice. It feels like a pile of rocks in her gut and her pulse starts to quicken. “Of course I remember!”

“I bet if you did that trick again, it’d cheer up the whole courtroom! I bet I’d win my case in a heartbeat.”

----------

Her legs feel like jelly by the time the bus drops her off at the stop near the office. Daddy had kept on like that, loaded phrasing and a lopsided smile as he laced vapid banter with instructions. With warnings. She walks into the storage closet and grabs a deck of cards - one of his, the same style they use at the club, not hers for her tricks. Abruptly, she has a moment of panic as she realizes she’s not even sure what color she’s supposed to use, but then, just as fast, she forces her head clear and just grabs one of each.

They’re unopened. This makes it a cinch to find the card she’s looking for. Her stomach flips.

The worst part isn’t even what she’s doing. The worst part is that she’s doing it at all. Daddy knows well what this situation is making her feel and he’s asking her to do it anyway.

The only explanation left: he’s completely out of options.

She pulls her gloves off and grabs a needle from her sewing supplies. She pricks her finger, and lets a drop fall onto each ace.

----------

[newvegascowboy]

i think deacon’s idle voice lines reveal a lot more about him as a person than anything he says during affinity conversations, and here’s why

get ready for a long meta post about deacon that nobody asked for, because we’re deep diving today.

okay. so Deacon’s a liar, everybody knows this. He tells you straight up that he does and WILL lie to you, and will praise you if you call him out, but i think his idle voice lines are more honest about himself than he would have you believe. 

Personal Life

i first noticed stuff he says in idle conversations when we were taking rad damage and he said, “Great. I didn’t need to have more children.” (0:58 for anyone interested) and “Guess there won’t be any little Deacons scurrying around in the future.” The above video doesn’t include it, but I have heard him say it in game. Unfortunately, I can’t go digging around in the game files to find it, so you might have to take that one at my word! 

I always take his affinity conversations with a grain of salt because, well, it’s Deacon, but given how angry and upset with a dismissive Sole Survivor he becomes, I’m willing to give him a little bit of leeway and believe that Barbara either was or is real, and she’s no longer in his life. Plus, given what he says about them “trying for kids”? It’s not unreasonable to think that he has or had children. If he ever did, they’re not in his life anymore either. 

(the reproductive ability of synths is debated. i couldn’t actually find any information on the fallout wiki, but there were a few forums discussing the topic where the general consensus seemed to be “no”, but if synths are 100% biologically human, then i don’t see why they technically couldn’t. it’s kind of a YMMV thing.) 

Plus, it’s pretty consistent that he gets freaked out when up in high places. (:44) here to listen to his voice lines about being up in the quarry, and here to listen to his dialogue during the Railroad aligned quest Red Glare. Safe to say this man is honestly afraid of heights. 

"Alright. You got me up here... let's go down. Now?"

At the top of Trinity Tower. 

The Railroad

Not going to spend a lot of time on this, since his voice lines about it are minimal, but it is of note. 

Game files and terminal entries hint at Desdemona believing that Deacon is “John D”, the sole survivor of an attack on the Railroad back in 2266. Post 2273, there is no more mention about “John D”. Admittedly, this is pretty weak evidence considering it’s in-game conjecture, but Deacon mentions knowing Desdemona as a green recruit, finding it hard to take her seriously at times.

Even if his claim about being the real leader of the Railroad is bullshit, he’s obviously one of the eldest members of the Railroad, confirmed membership going back at least 12 years to 2275. He could very well be the oldest surviving member of the Railroad. 

Hidden Depths

this one is pretty well known, so I’m not going to say too much on it either. 

the man knows a lot of stuff about the pre war world! Don’t know why! He never offers any reason for why he’s so familiar with the pre war world. It’s very clear that he either had a much, much more thorough education than most Wastelanders, or he was around people who did. University Point was a pretty major settlement until the Institute wiped it out, so I suppose it’s possible that he could’ve been schooled there, but I find it unlikely. He never makes any mention of his childhood other than an obvious joke where he says, “I grew up just over there. Lot of fond memories by that...thing.”  (this link is a compilation of voice lines, so it may take a moment to get there.) 

Obviously there’s the famous Proust line, indicating he’s pretty well read, though, oddly enough, he doesn’t have anything to say about Henry David Thoreau’s cabin! You’d think he would. In addition to Proust, he has the combat voice line, “Insert something Shakespearean about your death and inevitable doom here,” indicating he’s familiar with Shakespeare. 

He also mentions knowing and wanting a talk radio show. I mean, the Charles River Trio exists, but it’s a stretch to call that a talk radio show. He also mentions having read “a few textbooks” and asks if we were planning on an invasion of mathletes. This hints at nothing, but i do think it’s funny that he knows the word mathlete, but refers to pre-war objects as gizmos. 

Involvement in other games

It’s canon that Deacon has been to the Capital Wasteland, and based on his dialogue, may have been VERY involved in the goings on there. 

The events of Fallout 3 take place in 2277. The wiki tells us that sometime in 2275, Deacon was kicked out of the railroad by then-leader Pinky Thompson because Pinky was "sick of the lying, face-changing son of a bitch." So maybe unlikely, but very possible for Deacon to have been in the Capital Wasteland during the entirety of the events of Fallout 3. Though this pretty much kills the idea that Deacon was the Lone Wanderer, that’s a headcanon i love and probably one that I want to do something with in the future. 

He also seems to have quite a history with the Brotherhood of Steel and seems familiar with them and their actions in the Capital Wasteland, going to far as to say that they did good work in the Capital. Not only that, but he mentions “Code Violet”, part of Harkness’ override code from Fallout 3. It’s possible that Deacon could’ve been a runner for escaped synths heading for the Capital Wasteland sometime around 2277, which could be why he’s so knowledgeable about Capital-era Brotherhood and President Eden. 

Deacon talks about winning something from Robert House in a poker game while chatting with Deezer in Covenant. (1:26) Also interesting to note - he mentions “Being a soldier in the west” (17:43) at one point, hinting to possible involvement with the NCR (or possibly with the Western chapter of the Brotherhood). 

of course it’s possible that Deacon is bullshitting. He’s a liar. even if he doesn’t have a “reason” to lie, that doesn’t make every random word that comes out of his mouth the truth. simply - this man knows a lot. Knows things that, arguably, he shouldn’t or would be very hard for him to learn without some dedicated poking around. 

in conclusion? 

is there more? most definitely. what does this mean? well...not really anything. part of why i believe that his idle voice lines are more truthful than anything he says during his affinity conversations is because during those conversations, a lot of the time, he’s lying to try and prove a point. 

"But I had a point here. A lesson, if you will. There're other organizations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it."

I believe a lot of Deacon’s lies are meant for himself. To run from himself, to comfort himself, or simply because he doesn’t want to be affiliated with the man he was when he was younger. To me, his idle lines are him “thinking out loud”. Grumbling because the Sole Survivor dragged him into an irradiated hell hole, or freaked out because they’re standing on top of Trinity Tower and by god, he can feel the building swaying. 

Maybe his honesty is completely on accident. Maybe he’s just hinting at a personal life with a max affinity Sole Survivor because this person is his best friend and despite everything he’s ever tried to teach himself, he trusts this person. Or maybe it isn’t honesty at all, and he’s just bullshitting to bullshit. It’s impossible to know for sure. 

Either way, we’ll never truly know the real Deacon.