#so even though it’s super messed up what he did I still want him bro 😭😭

[gingerbreadgodofhyperdeath]

Now he wants me back and is lowkey begging for me to let him back into my life but he also knows and has admitted that he is in the wrong so he doesn’t expect me to forgive him but I don’t think he knows that two of his friends have already tried to hit me up. Like he’s got competition if he really means what he says he better work his ass off to make up for the fucked shit he did to me (he’s the only one I really want but he still needs to make up for what he did because lowkey getting with your best friend two days after we break up is so messed up man)

[littlestarbigsky]

having thoughts and feelings abt sodapop curtis and his knee injury from his rodeo days :):

- guys he was SO scared when it happened :((

- it happened when he got bucked off a horse and when you fall you’re supposed to get the hell out of there so you don’t,, yanno,, die. and he tried to push himself up and run but his knee just gave out under him and he was just curled up on the ground genuinely so scared that he was gonna die

- he was pretty much a crying mess on the ground with his parents and pony and darry crowding around him and he’s just apologizing bc he knows that he’s hurt really bad and that they don’t really have the money for what he’s gonna need

- he tore his acl, not badly enough to need surgery, but they know he can’t safely compete in a rodeo probably ever again

- and golly that’s a gut punch for him bc i don’t think he’d figured out that he liked cars yet, and rodeos were the one thing he was really good at, he hadn’t realistically thought of it as a career, but working with horses was the only thing he’d ever wanted to do

- he’s in the hospital for a while that day, like i’m gonna say it was probably like 7-8 hours in the emergency room before they gave him some crutches and a splint and sent them home

- he is very okay with his mama babying him while he’s there tho lol he’s got mama helping him drink his juice box and fluffing up his pillows every two seconds. she doesn’t mind ofc bc she just feels so bad that she won’t be able to give him the best care (they really couldn’t afford surgery even if he needed it, and they def can’t send him to physical therapy)

- bro was NOT cut out to be on bedrest while his knee is healing he literally can not sit still for more than 5 minutes and he just gets bored with all the stuff they do to keep him occupied (cartoons, board games, mama even tries to teach him to crochet, which goes abt as well as you’d expect)

- unfortunately all this means his knee never really heals right, and even if it did it’s pretty normal to have residual pain after an injury like that

- he has a little limp when it gets cold (heavy on this one- dry, cold, air is not good for bad joints)

- he also 100% does that thing where he’ll be on the couch complaining abt his knee hurting and darry will ask if he’s okay and soda will just say something like, “yeah, it’s gonna rain tomorrow, though.” (side note: that’s a real thing !!! it has to do with moisture changes in the air)

- i also think that if he’s super emotional (which happens a lot lol) his knee will act up (ik it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense but i’ve had this happen, i *think* it has something to do with muscle tension),, he could barely walk after their parents died and he was wincing the whole week pony was missing

- whenever there was a rumble before soda was healed, darry literally had to find someone to babysit him and make sure he didn’t try to sneak out and fight with them

- heat works wonders on bad joints so they have like four of those microwaveable heating packs

i might cook up a fic about this tbh i’m having a pain flare w my knees and hips rn and i can’t do anything lol

[seasirengirl]

LEO VALDEZ DATING HCS

pairing: leo valdez x reader (godly parent not specified)

a/n: sorry for the super duper slow updates, my life has been a mess🫶🏼

ೀ friends to lovers is a trope owned by leo valdez and no one can change my mind

ೀ he’s such a shameless flirt

ೀ nicknames in spanish.

ೀ i repeat

ೀ nicknames in spanish.

ೀ he’s such a fun person to be around

ೀ always cracking jokes and all that

ೀ but

ೀ hold up

ೀ he doesn’t crack jokes at times when you don’t feel like hearing them, even though he’s known for doing that to others, you’re his exception

ೀ you two went everywhere together

ೀ quest? together

ೀ spending nights at bunker 9? not without you

ೀ he felt guilty for making you stay there though

ೀ but then you started ranting about how much you loved staying there

ೀ and he just couldn’t say no to you

ೀ or your pretty face

ೀ but we all know that you didn’t really think bunker 9 was the most comfortable place to sleep in

ೀ you just wanted to stay with your repair boy

ೀ after being two idiots who were very much in love but would never admit it

ೀ your friends got sick of it

ೀ y’know what that meaaannssss

ೀ at first percy and annabeth started talking about it

ೀ apparently piper and jason also had discussed it before (mostly piper)

ೀ frank and hazel are just there yknow

ೀ chilling

ೀ with no clue about what’s going on

ೀ anyway

ೀ doing very couple-ish things all together

ೀ there were eight of you.

ೀ obviously meaning that

ೀ you and leo had to be dragged into all of that

ೀ which neither of you complained about

ೀ but you wouldn’t say it

ೀ going on carnival dates <3

ೀ well they weren’t technically dates for you and leo

ೀ but they felt like dates

ೀ the other six ditched you every second

ೀ and you two still managed to be clueless

ೀ smh

ೀ honestly thank the gods for piper

ೀ when you AND leo both found out about your feelings at the same time

ೀ you were both ranting to her

ೀ cause she’s the daughter of aphrodite

ೀ ykyk

ೀ and also a great friend

ೀ but she needed a break atp

ೀ hearing both of you yap about each other not knowing that the other feels the same

ೀ until one day she had ENOUGH

ೀ bro was tired fr

ೀ so she decided to make both of you a bit jelly

ೀ not a bit tbh, a lot

ೀ yk, telling leo that the new guy from cabin 7 was talking about asking you out

ೀ or telling you that one of her sisters were going to make a move on leo at the bonfire tonight

ೀ leo couldn’t let some guy try to make a move on his girl

ೀ and you couldn’t either

ೀ so

ೀ both of you decided to confess at the same time

ೀ leo walked up to you just as you were about to find him

ೀ “can we go somewhere private?”

ೀ such a simple sentence left you speechless, only managing a nod

ೀ “i don’t want you to go out with him” leo blurted out

ೀ “with who?” you asked, did you have a date you forgot about?

ೀ “andrew, the new guy from 7?”

ೀ “i’m not going on a date with him, oh wait- piper...”

ೀ silence. total silence.

ೀ “i have something to-“

ೀ “i have to tell y-“

ೀ you couldn’t help but laugh at that, “go ahead.”

ೀ“i would say ‘ladies first’, but i have to say this, ever since i stepped a foot in camp, i’ve had a crush on you, so will you do the honors of being my girl?”

ೀ “i’d love to.”

ೀ “so would it be okay if i-“

ೀ “shut up, valdez”

ೀ and he did shut up, because his tongue was too busy being down your throat

ೀ ok what.

ೀ anyway

ೀ after that night, your friends wished they never set you two up

ೀ they were just jealous that you two were a better couple than them

ೀ or that’s what you thought

ೀ leo was actually the best boyfriend you could ask for

ೀ he would make you the coolest gifts ever

ೀ any kind of jewellery a girl could dream of

ೀ he made it

ೀ flowers that never die, all yours

ೀ honestly you can’t recall a night that you haven’t slept without leo in winter

ೀ slept.

ೀ he kept you so warm when it was cold out

ೀ cause he’s your fireboy

ೀ he’s so touchy and always has to have his arm around you somehow

ೀ but he wouldn’t be much of a pda guy

ೀ especially it it makes you uncomfortable.

[dangerouslyknown]

Hi! Please do headcanons for gojo like you did Higuruma x

Satoru Gojo Headcanons 💎

A/N: Thanks for the request! My JJK obsession is hitting like a truck. I hope I delivered these Gojo headcanons well, mwah

Contents/Warnings: General headcanons, relationship headcanons both SFW & NSFW. Reader/partner is referred as "his S/O" or by they/them so gn!reader

General Headcanons

He used to play Moviestarplanet. He was sooo popular too. He had lots of friends and he made the silliest movies/artbooks which people loved

He likes to sing and usually he sings whatever is stuck in his head on random occasions, without really trying to sound good

...but oh boy if you ever get the chance to do actual karaoke with him... He sings beautifully when he puts the effort in. What a gorgeous voice, it almost surprises everyone

He goes crazy about Lady Gaga's songs and he loves to do silly little performances whenever he hears any of her songs

Gojo is also a Swiftie???

Somehow I feel like he is TERRIBLE when it comes to spending money. He hasn't had a day in his life where he had to worry about financial stuff, so...

He's the type of guy buy an expensive ice cream machine, then accidentally break it and buy a new one like it's nothing

He used to troll people online as a teen...

Actually, he probably still does it for the heck of it. He isn't one to do anything super offensive, but he enjoys messing with people

SFW Relationship headcanons

He hasn´t been in many relationships in his life, mostly because he rarely lets anyone close. Bro has trust issues :(

He dislikes being vulnerable in front of others, but his S/O is who he shows his true self. It is not something to take lightly

He KNOWS he is attractive and it flatters his ego when he is complimented on it, but if one wants to win his heart, you need to go deeper than that. He wants a person who truly appreciates him beyond looks

His love language is gift giving. He will gift his S/O anything they desire, and it´s his way of showing he cares. He gets excited like a kid in a candy store when he brings his S/O something and waits for them to open the gift

Most of the time it doesn't even have to be anything expensive. Of course he likes to spoil his S/O, but sometimes he just sees something small, which reminds him of them and he decides to buy it

Then, his unofficial love language is being annoying. He would ask "would you still love me if I was a worm" and whatnot

Related to that, he would act all smug and probably provoke arguments with his S/O just to entertain himself (but he's not malicious about it of course!)

When he sees something romantic, he would say "Ewww, sappy romance stuff" and then do exactly those things in private

He likes to show off with his relationship? Y'know, like posting about it in social media and PDA

This also ties to when he holds great pride in the thought that he's able to protect them no matter what. Maybe he's also a bit jealous and likes to show others that his S/O truly is his, and only his

Looooves to dress in matching clothing with his S/O!

Also, if he'd play online games with his S/O, he'd definitely want to do matching usernames (Sometimes it'd be cringe, but that's a part of why he loves doing it)

(NSFW under the cut)

NSFW Relationship headcanons

Leans towards being more kinky tbh

This man likes to have fun, okay? He is super adventurous in the bedroom. He's always coming up with new ideas for his S/O and him to try, and he usually is the one to initiate

He'd love to bring in ropes, blindfolds, toys of all kind and everything you could think of. He wants to use them on his S/O, but isn't against the idea being toys or ropes used on him either blindfolds wouldn't even work on him though

He´s a fan of playing with the dynamics. The vibes he gives is 50% pillow princess and 50% daddy, so there's never a dull moment when he switches up things with his S/O

He lives for teasing in the bedroom. You are not going to get anything easily from his arrogant ass: If he's a sub, he's going to be a brat. If he's a top, you need to beg him

He is capable of being serious during intimate time, but most of the time there's going to be funny and goofy moments

I could 100% see him doing something like slapping his dick against his S/O's face, then grin. At the same time it's hot but it's also hilarious (in his opinion)

Speaking of his cock, I think it's bigger than average. Length is impressive, then girth is more average-ish

Definitely very vocal during sex. He will not shut up whether it's whimpers or dirty talk

I think he loves to fuck his S/O from behind. He loves to kiss the back of their neck, their shoulders and all over their back while going at it

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[gumnut-logic]

Five pick ups and one drop off (Pick up 1)

A bit out there and non-canon complaint. Just doing this one for fun. Written in the few minutes between dropping kids home and dashing back to work (I may be a little late to work, oops).

I hope you enjoy :D

-o-o-o-

Alan was excited. All his schoolwork was done for the year and he could finally go home.

There was the usual ruckus with the corridors full of students yelling summer plans over everyone’s heads, bashing lockers, and running out towards the streets where the buses were full to capacity and traffic had ground to a halt, struggling with the volume of so many people in one place at one time.

He stepped out the doors and was almost knocked flying by some quarterback wannabe determined to get home before everyone else.

Stumbling back to his feet, he stared out across the parking lot looking for a familiar car or face.

Virgil would probably pick him up, he usually did this time of year. Of course, Grandma was always kind enough to pick up the last of the Tracy brothers to go through this school.

If he was super lucky, John would be there and they could chat space all the way home to the farm. Of course, it could always be Gordy, but although Alan loved his fish brother with all his heart, Gordy’s driving could sometimes be a little terrifying.

There was the wistful thought of Scott or Dad picking him up, but both of them were focussed on their secret project on the other side of the planet and he hadn’t seen either of them for weeks.

He missed them.

But the question proved moot as he could not see any familiar faces amongst the crowd.

Maybe Kyrano and Kayo would drop by? He loved talking with Kayo. She was tough and took no crap from anyone, but beyond that, she was fun to hang out with.

Sometimes the two of them could even out prank Gordon.

He found himself grinning at the thought.

Horns honked and people yelled at each other as kids and parents milled everywhere.

Alan sighed. He just wanted to go home.

But he had to wait, so found himself a bench and sat down waiting for whichever family member drew the short straw.

A kid hurried past and knocked Alan’s overloaded bag off his lap, scattering all his books on the pavement.

“Sorry!” He didn’t stop though, running down the path and into the car waiting for him.

Alan settled on glaring after him as he bent down to gather up the mess and hope none of his work had been spoiled.

C’mon, bros, where are you?

He jammed the books back into his bag, wiping off dirt as the sound of the traffic on the street rose up to batter his ears.

God, it was loud.

Wasn’t it? A roar rose and drowned out everything. The kids around him and their parents alike were looking up at the sky and yelling something he could barely hear.

A shadow passed over Alan and a silver hull spun in to land carefully in the parking lot, struts sticking in between parked cars.

Scotty?

Alan rose to his feet and, clutching his bag, dashed across the grounds just as his biggest brother lowered himself out of the cockpit of Thunderbird One. “Allie!”

Alan dropped his bag, flung both his arms wide, and barrelled full bore into his big brother in a flying tackle.

“Oomph. Wow, squirt, if I’d known you were this eager to come home, I would have dropped in earlier.”

Alan squeezed him tighter. “You brought One.”

“That I did.”

“Dad’s not going to be happy.”

“Eh, it was worth it.”

As Alan surfaced, he looked around to find all the traffic, all the people, all the kids, standing transfixed and staring at the great Thunderbird One above them.

Scott’s arm was warm about his shoulders. “What do you say we blow this popsicle stand?”

“FAB.” Alan was grinning ear to ear.

And if the principal of the school wrote their father a very strongly worded letter regarding the damage to a tree that may or may not have been torched by Thunderbird engines, it was still worth it.

So worth it.

-o-o-o-

[marinerainbow]

Ok, listen. I know that there is so much potential for angst in the royal koopa family, and I love what people have done with them! Bowser favoring his only blood son and spurring resentment within the Koopalings. Ludwig and Junior having a rivalry- especially in regards to the throne. All the kids feel neglected because of their dad's emotional blockage and him focusing on taking over the world instead of family, etc. I truly love what people can do with all this royal drama and angst potential!! I want to write novelizations of some of your guys' adaptations of the koopalings + Junior and Bowser!!!

(Long post that's a positive rant incoming/my headcannons of the Koopa Royal Family incoming)

... but after watching the Mario movie, seeing the old Nintendo Power comics, and getting back into Mario, I caN'T HEADCANNON BOWSER BEING A BAD DAD OR THE KOOPA KIDS BEING MISERABLE WITH HIM! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THE SAME GUY WHO ANNOUNCED TO HIS WHOLE KOOPA ARMY THAT HE WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO PEACH, THE SAME GUY WHO WROTE A WHOLE ASS LOVE SONG FOR THE PRINCESS, THE SAME GUY WHO PLAYED GOLF WITH MARIO, WOULDN'T SET HIS WHOLE KINGDOM ON FIRE FOR ALL OF HIS BABIES!?!?

Don't get me wrong, he definitely has anger issues, and I believe in MatPats Bowser's backstory theory. I'm certain there have been plenty of instances he messed up as a dad. And having a bunch of kids, sometimes some of them slip his attention- at least the first year or so when he first had them and was learning how to Dad. But I'm telling ya'll, if my Bowser ever heard any one of his kids, from his eldest Ludwig or his only darling daughter Wendy or his baby son Junior, were feeling any sort of bad, he'd be like "Oh Hell no!" And take that child out one-on-one and give them lots of love, lots of assurance, and set fire to any fool who tried to tell him that they aren't really his kid.

One time, Bowser got so mad and roared within Lemmy's presence and made the baby boy cry. To this day, after he's long made up for it, Bowser still feels so guilty and heartbroken that he did that and has vowed himself to never let himself get that angry around his kids again... Unless when it came to Mario because they know in that instance, his fury isn't directed at them.

THIS IS THE SAME GUY WHO, EVEN THOUGH BOWSER JUNIOR DISOBEYED THE SCREEN TIME ALERT IN THAT NINTENDO SWITCH PARENTAL CONTROLS VIDEO, HE HESITATED TO SHUT OFF THE CONSOLE BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT HIS SON DEVASTATED!!! And- And we see in Bowsers head, he imagined Junior to be sad and heartbroken! Junior is still a baby, and he's a little spoiled, so more than likely, he would have thrown a tantrum if Bowser had switched the console off. But BOWSER DIDN'T HESITATE NOT BECAUSE OF THE HEADACHE A TANTRUM WOULD CAUSE, BUT BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK HIS SONS HEART! I CAN'T EVEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'll take it this far; you guys wanna know what my headcannon on who is Bowsers' successor? Well, in my headcannon, when he adopted the koopalings and had Junior, he knew it was going to be an issue. And he loved ALL of his kids so much, he didn't want to have to choose between any of them! The rest would hate him and the chosen one! All of his babies would start fighting! So what is a koopa king to do? 🤔🤔🤔 well, as we see in Super Mario Wii and in Super Mario Bros 3, he lets his kids run the world's he takes over! They all have their individual world/kingdom to rule!!! He makes sure that A L L of his kids get to be kings and a queen! Until Mario ruins it all saves the day. If Bowser had his way, the whole world would really be family run instead of just Bowser run.

Again, I must emphasize how much I absolutely ADORE everyone else's depictions of the royal koopa family. One of my favorites is Tyrranux's dark Mario AU that I found on Deviantart years ago, and one of my favorite blogs for the koopalings asktehkoopz shows a much-more-wholesome-but-still-angsty depiction of the family. This post is not AT ALL intended to bring you guys down! This post is to show you guys how weak I am compared to you. I love angst and dark themes, but... I CAN'T do it with the koopa family! They are wholesome and loving while attempting to take over the world in my headcannon 🥺🥺🥺🥺

So, tldr; in my headcannon, outside of invading kingdoms and kidnapping princesses every other week, Bowser is a loving, emotional, a bit goofy, not so great at disciplining his kids unless it's really bad like when Bowser Jr. Turned him into a monster in Bowsers Fury, dad who would blow up his whole kingdom if any of his kids got hurt.

[koraesrambles]

Thoughts on the conclusion of Gotham War

Alright, so I've made it absolutely no secret that I've been enjoying the crap out of Gotham War. Is it structurally sound with good pacing and clear stakes? HELL no. It's not an air tight story, there are so many holes in all of the characters logic, but it is also an extremely good time.

I don't mind loose storylines in comics like this. Mostly because the premise "full grown man dresses up as a bat and cannot stop himself from mass adopting every orphan that looks like him" is already so ridiculous that anything they posit as a solution in their "war on crime" I think, "Yeah, I can see that." None of the rules of this world make sense.

But I don't really read most things for their air tight plot. Slight detour (There's a point, I swear!), but some perfect examples of this are Puss in Boots and the Last Wish and The Super Mario Bro movie. The last wish is PHENOMENAL. A literal work of art. I've seen it so many times and just basked in it's beauty. Love everything about it, absolutely stellar. But do you know what movie made me look up fan content, read fics, and forced me to buy the digital copy of the movie before the DVD came out? Yep. Mario Bros.

Why? Because I like stories about brothers who love each other and the mario movie gave me exactly that. It's not an air tight, phenomonal story with gorgeous real world applications, but it gave me a fun time where two characters worried about each other incessantly and honestly? that is what I'm here for.

So back to Gotham War. If I'm not actually looking for a ground breaking story (which honestly, I know those happen in these big super hero comic books but I feel like they're usually the *exception* rather than the rule) and just want good character interactions, then Gotham War delivered phenomenally. Especially since my favorite character was the one constantly being wrung through the wringer.

It was a great time. I enjoyed reading it, the art is better than anything I could ever produce even when the characters made weird faces. It was great. But did they stick the ending?

Eh, endings are hard. I would love to see more consequences for Bruce. Him just going off at the end and getting away with the horrible things he did to Jason is annoying. I almost wanted Jason to actually die at the end there, just so that Bruce would feel stupid and sad. If Bruce never acknowledges what he did to Jason (which . . . he probably won't, given the track record) then I'll be pretty disappointed. That's some juicy angst right there that should absolutely be addressed.

And I appreciated that literally every character that interacted with Bruce that knew about what he'd done yelled at him for it. Even Dick's seeming about-face at the end with "I'm sure you had your reasons" came after two weeks of getting used to the idea AND him trying to actually get Bruce to make good choices for once. I mean, Bruce doesn't, but A for effort, Dick. Thanks for punching him in the face last time, that was cathartic.

I surprisingly really like the fact that it wasn't Zur who did this to Jason. It was Bruce. Horrible, wacked-out, messed up Bruce Wayne who is so desperate to control everything around him and so terrified of losing the people he loves that he constantly overrides them like they're his freaking pets. Bruce is in a BAD place, and I sure hope that there will be tons of fics exploring that even if canon never acknowledges it.

But that's how I deal with comic universes like this. Everyone jokes that "Canon? what canon!" and we all laugh but honestly . . .yeah. Like, seriously. Canon is whatever works for the writer's plot in the moment. They make stuff up and contradict themselves all the time. They're constantly retconning stuff. It doesn't take away from any of the stories I like, I can still read them. And at this point, legitimately, I approach every single comic I come up on as though it's an AU. There is no canon timeline for me, because it's too messy. DC is literally just an AO3 platform that's allowed to make money.

Because the people who originally created these characters are long gone. These guys (gender neutral) writing and drawing the comics now are just fans like we all are. It's all fake. None of it is real. So let's all just have a good time.

I was talking to some friends about this and they pointed out, "It's difficult because people feel like when they're constantly screwing around with things like that why should they even care about the characters?" And they were absolutely right, that's extremely frustrating to deal with. I put a lot of emotional investment into characters, but every writer is going to approach the characters differently and with a universe like DC has, you just have to roll with it. There are no stakes. We all complain about it, but nothing is done to change it because we love these characters and we'll keep coming back for more, and so they keep having to make more content and that means messing with stuff they already have. It's a never ending cycle. These are living legends, mythology that's being written out in real time. Nothing about them are ever going to be cohesive.

Wow this is getting long, sorry about that. Things I loved about the Gotham War conclusion: Jason almost sacrificing himself and being a hero even though he was terrified. A+ content. Gorgeous, you go my boy! Tim telling everyone how to beat up all the rouges (Good job sweetheart, way to be a morally ambiguous little shit like you always are). Even if he claimed to be the second best robin at the end, those are fighting words my man. I also liked Jason's "Go 'save' another one of your sons." jab. That was great. I liked that everyone told Bruce he was wrong, even if it could have been stronger. The rest of the issue was plot stuff that I didn't really care too much about. I really like Bat/Cat, so I didn't mind those scenes too much even though Bruce is still the worst (affectionate AND derogatory).

I didn't really expect anything spectacular from the conclusion, and it really did end kind of like what I expected (nothing's changed except now Jason gets to deal with the Joker when he's sick with Super Anxiety -- which I actually am really excited for). But it wasn't as much fun as some of the previous issues.

That said, I would not mind owning an omnibus of all the gotham war issues, if just to re-read all of my favorite scenes. There were some truly unhinged crap in there, and that's just my cup of tea.

Story telling quality? eh, 6/10

enjoyment had? 9/10

[mrs-monaghan]

Previous anon here again, I just wanted to clarify in response to your answer: I totally agree with the over exaggerated edits of supposedly Jungkook being jealous of the members, most of them are bs (maybe except for a very few instances with Namjoon?). I was thinking of a few moments that do seem legit to me and as you said especially the ones with people outside of the band. I was also thinking of the moments with Taemin, though I still wonder if Jungkook was jealous of him or if he just didn’t like him for whatever reason (which is a shame cause I love Taemin!!) I think in the past Jungkook had a tendency of being a bit possessive, which seems quite normal to me, he was really young and probably insecure, it happens. Ha anyway, he has grown a lot though.

Oh for sure JK had a huge issue with Taemin. Huge. Don't people believe the manilla fight may have had something to do with Taemin? My friends i think that Jimin may have had to practise on JK's birthday and the latter wasn't having it. Like its the only thing we can think of because, Jikook were fine during the day celebrating. So what happened overnight so that the next morning at the airport they couldn't even look at or be next to eo?? How can things go wrong in such a short amount of time? Jimin has been there for all of JK's birthdays. But this one night he couldn't so maybe JK felt some type of way?? Who knows. But it make sense. Either way you've seen the way Taemin looks at Jimin. He's definitely been hit by that Jimin effect and JK ain't blind 😂😂

So outside of BTS we have seen Sean Mendez, Taemin, and something was happening with Bogum during this.

My friends and I believe JK watched Jikook compilations and saw himself doing the tongue in cheek thing and decided to rectify 😂😂 but as u can see he did that for the entire Jimin and Bogum interaction and stopped as soon as Jimin was next to him.

Then we also have JB and this has to be my favourite 🤣🤣🤣🤣 JB and Jimin kept looking at eo. Well, tbf, JB was blatantly staring at Jimin and so Jimin kept looking back at him.

But this happened for too long and JK was like

I swear to God this entertains me so much!!! And it happened for quite a while!! Jikookers Classroom always shows the whole picture and doesn't manipulate so check out the whole Kdrama here. And its the way Jimin smirks like....bro what are u doing??? This whole thing is fucking gold!!

Then of course we have Wonho. This one is quite popular but my favourite part has to be when after Jimin admiring Wonho's muscles for most of the night, when they were leaving, JK started to work out his arm with the trophy

He was like "babe see? I'm strong too." 🤭🤭

Last but definitely not least we have this TXT moment.

Its so subtle. A blink and u will miss it type of thing. The guy shakes Jimin's hand once. Okay, thats fine. But when he does it a second time JK taps him like "that's enough son." 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just to name some few none bts moments. But back to RM and Suga. While I understand why JK would be anti Yoonmin, I dont get the Minimoni anti thing. 🤭 A friend told me it could be because JK admires RM so much. He's so smart and bla bla bla. And JK looks up to him. And maybe JK knows he is not like RM so it could stem from that? Idk why the issue because JK is super smart and has a million things going for him. But after being around for a while I found out something interesting about the Korean culture. About how men claim their women and let everyone know that, that woman is his. Apparently when JK got into that nasty scandal with the tattoo artist c*nt, Karmy were telling the boyfriend to claim her?? Or some shit like that? But the guy refused to because they were broken up or something. Apparently it was messed up that JK would hold another man's woman like that. Idk man. I'm not Korean and I don't fully understand it but I know it's a thing. Which explains why JK behaves the way he does. You said, he was possessive coz he was young and insecure. And maybe thats true. But I think there is also the issue of no one knowing they're together. JK would love for the world to know Jimin is "his" but he can't. And so people going around touching and feeling on his man well... I can see why he would have an issue with that. Especially since Jimin gets shipped with pretty much everyone.

[scenezfreak]

Okay this is super random but how would jeff react to finding out he used to date his s/o before the incident? Like, they dated when he was a normal teenager and when he went insane they lost contact but then their s/o changed their name and didn’t tell him when they got back together that they dated?? ALSO I LOVE YOUR WORK SM!!❤️

AHHH TYYY, bro I literally started writing this then I lost all my progress 😡 also I don’t know EXACTLY what you meant but I’ll try 💪it might be bad, I still don’t have full focus rn 😔🙏

Jeff the killer X F!reader meeting again

THERE IS ANGST !!!

Here you were, dating your boyfriend, Jeff the killer. You guys dated before his accident happened but that was a long time ago, you grew up and changed your name, not wanting people to remember you as the girlfriend of a murderer. You never told Jeff though, he thought you were a different girl, you thought that if you told him he’d get rid of you like he did to his family so you kept your mouth shut.

~~~~~~

Scrolling through an online shop you see something that catches your eye. “Hey Jeff- could you grab my wallet?” You ask him as he was up and closer to your wallet. He grabs it and your legal I.D falls out, he bends over to pick it up and freezes. “Jeff?” You walk up to him, he turns around swiftly. “Y/n…why didn’t you tell me..?” He calls you by your legal name and stares at you in shock. Realizing he found out you stammer, “s-sorry I-“ “NO!” He cuts you off. He throws your wallet on the ground and storms off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

You sigh and bend down to pick your wallet up. You approach his room to explain yourself but stop when you hear things crashing and breaking. Saddened, you go back to your room.

~~~~~~~~~

Later that night you walked to his room knowing he’s out killing right now. You enter and see the mess in his room, quickly you clean up for him just as a kind of apology, even though it’ll probably mean nothing in a situation like this. You cleaned under his bed and found a wooden box, sitting down on his now made bed with clean sheets you opened the box. There was everything you gave to him in there. Birthday cards, the gifts, etc. Quickly closing the box when the door opened, you stood up “I’m sorry…I just decided to clean up while you were gone…” you looked at him. He was bloody, knife in hand, and staring at you.

It all happened suddenly, he dropped his knife and you felt his embrace. Shocked you hug him back. “Je-“ “Please don’t hide from me again, I’ve missed you so…so much.” He said hiding his face in your neck. “Oh Jeff…I only didn’t tell you because I thought you’d kill me too…” you said ready for him to lash out again. “Why would I? You’re the only one who genuinely cared for me back then and now…you’re still the only one…I’m happy I found you again.” He says, you caress his back. “I’m happy too Jeffrey..” you pull back and kiss him bringing your hands to cup his cut up cheeks, caressing his carved smile. He kisses back and then breaks the kiss and looks at you. “It’s really you…y/n” he said like he couldn’t believe you were real.

That night you both told each other about your lives and what happened up until you met. Somehow he fell more in love with you that night if it was even possible. He even thanked you for cleaning his room, Jeff never thanked anyone. You both cuddled and he acted like he didn’t like it but whenever you suggested that if he didn’t like it then you guys could just stop he hugged you tighter and said, “I never said to leave” with a scoff. You both fell asleep together and he held onto you tightly like you might disintegrate.

[ladysomething]

MADDIE!!!!!! THAT HURT SO MUCH!!!!

I was actually speechless and a mess after finishing this chapter. Like actually for real my mouth was gaping like i was a fish but no sound was coming out, there were tears in my eyes, so I hope you're happy with what you've done. (We love the pain really)

Obviously we knew something of this kind was coming, we could feel it mounting and bubbling under the surface so it had to erupt at some point but it still really fucking hurt. And the worst part is there's still so many questions, so I, against all odds, hope that they can sit down and discuss those details in a calm and respectful manner.

Because my heart can't take much more. First of all, I wanted to grab Max by his delicious broad shoulders and shake him. Like bro you had one chance to confess your love and you fuck it up that badly???!!! He legit did not say one good thing about Charles that entire speech to reassure him or convince him. Good job Max.

But then Charles literally ripped his vulnerable heart to pieces???!! He went right for where it would hurt most. I was begging him not to do it but he just had to compare Max to his father! I can't imagine how much that hurt Max, and even though he's an idiot, I feel so sad for him. That man just needs to learn to communicate better instead of making everything worse.

At the same time I am well aware that this is necessary for the relationship even if it kills me now cause something had to give. And Charles was so right when he kept thinking that Max could not be feeling any kind of healthy love. I'm sure that buried somewhere is a sweet, pure, selfless love for Charles in Max, but I feel like it's become so tainted and toxic that even if he thinks he's in love with Charles now, he has just as much work to do for them to be worthy of each other.

I am so unbelievably excited to see how this recovers, even if there's still more tearing down to be done rip. As always, so grateful for the incredible work Mads, if you couldn't already tell from my rambling (so sorry), this chapter was another masterpiece!!!!

I am happy with what I've done, thanks for asking. 😊

also you taking the time to clarify Max's shoulders are "delicious" and "broad" while you reprimand him ..... iconic behaviour I fear.

but yeah for real, I know what Charles said was super shitty but like. Max really said "you have so many terrible qualities but I love you anyway" and then expected Charles to react well ..... like bro ......... what.

and then Charles came in and said "I can go WAY lower than that", and then he did. it was very cathartic for him, even if it was fucked up and he immediately regretted it.

and Max does also have a lot of work to do. he THINKS he's been meeting Charles in the middle, but he really, really hasn't. of course, neither has Charles - Charles has been happy always just assuming the worst and never digging deeper, even when he was given reason to.

but ... when they DO meet in the middle ..........

[platonic-qpr-selfshipping]

okay let me finally show you my updated f/o list!! I am also planning to add some s/i info but tbh i still havent gotten to it cause im procrastinating it while trying to relax doing other stuff klsdksj here it is!! (I am aware that the first photos look weird in phones so pls bare with me and put it in pc mode lmaoo im a carrd super-beginner)

now if you'd let me, Imma talk a bit about the changes just because

I wanted to get a bit more specific mentioning platonic f/os so even if I like many characters in sources like Obey Me, you can now see which characters I think my s/i would be the closest with :D!! I also played a bit with labels ig but I read this fic where Mammon said there was no need "to be anything" as long as we were in peace with each other and I felt that on a spiritual lvl so instead of overthinking how to label f/os sometimes I just put him as unlabeled lol I just love self inserting in his world being really close to him and he's my fav character of the game and all but ig it becomes hard sometimes to try to fit that into something so I said whatever, it's my little self insert world and they can do whatever they want that brings me comfort XD yknow, sometimes partnering concepts just feel off but at the same time I enjoy saying I am a Mammon simp cause I love the character so it's a bit of a mess in my brain sometimes, trying to make both my experience as a player and my s/i's fit for my best comfort

(yes this was another Mammon UR+ I did not get on Nightbringer)

talking about labels, I've decided to put all the Golden Deer as platonic soulmates :D! I think it suits us all and all the unique bonds they form with each other, and I thought that the whole thing of my s/i probably having this huge feeling of admiration and loyalty towards Claude felt better like this somehow, like it's a part of my s/i lore and not so much about what their relationship can be or not? I dont know if this makes sense worded like this but it seems to work out in my head XD I still plan to someday develop my s/i's story a lot so who knows

anyway, FRIENDS AND FAMILY!! I feel like it's pretty obvious that I've started to play Honkai Star Rail because suddenly I got a friend, a brother and a father from there- listen everytime I see the Astral Express Family written in the groupchat I emotionally cry happy tears (also I wouldnt be surprised if i ended up also f/oing Himeko in the future lmao, I love found families can you tell)

from Genshin Impact I've officially added Thoma as a platonic f/o :D!! (my hearts craves to befriend kind characters, yes) I think my Genshin s/i is probably the one with the most lore right now so I'm excited to write about this in the future! well,,,,, actually my Super Mario Bros s/i also has some info around themselves already,,,,,, like would you believe me if I told you I was already making up s/i lore while still watching the movie,,,,, the self-shipper experience huh.....

I love her

and do you know who I also love a lot.....?

those platonic f/os I've been mentioning in some reblogs lately saying I still havent talked about them......?

the dudes that may have taken over my brain recently using the power of friendship....?

yeah

yeah

aren't they the coolest tho

anyway I love them (repeating it as if i hadnt made it clear already) and I had to rewrite part of this cause I accidentally deleted it it so I think I'll finish it here ksdhkjs I believe there is a bit more to see in the carrd though, I'll put it in my pinned post soon :D! now if you'd excuse me imma go consume more hypmic manga as a healing experience, if you've read until here go drink some water, listen to Break The Wall and thank me later

[la-principessa-nuova]

So I have something I want to vent about from a trans perspective but in case anyone from my family ever finds my blog I don’t want to get too specific about it.

Like many closeted trans women, I have to use my deadname pretty much all the time. I don’t get all that bothered by first name. When I hear it a lot it bugs me because it sounds male to me (even though technically it’s gender neutral), but I don’t hate it, and it’s whatever. My last name is a last name, so fine. It does feel masculine for various reasons, but it’s a last name so whatever.

But my middle name is problematic, because it’s a family name with a lot of baggage. I’m going to hide the rest behind a divider because it mentions some sensitive topics (without really getting into them).

Technically the name goes back a few generations, and it’s also my dad’s middle name, but one of the people with the name, and the only one I knew primarily by that name, is my dad’s brother. Notice that I don’t say uncle, because he lost his right to that title a long time ago.

I don’t know how to say this without saying it, so what I will say is that if I did describe how he lost that right, it would require this trigger warning, as well as this one, and it drove a wedge in my family creating many issues that have not gone away over time and still make me face major moral dilemmas multiple times per week.

And back before he went to prison, he was very overweight, and while I’m not as big as he was, thanks to my self-consciousness, I’ve always felt like I was, and after my most recent mental health spiral, I’ve gotten much closer than I ever was. This lead to a lot of comparisons, especially when I was a kid, with one older family member waking from a coma with some memory issues and calling me by his name.

Now this will mess with anyone’s head to be labeled similar to someone like that, but it goes double when you’re also hiding that you belong to a marginalized group that gets falsely accused of doing the exact crime he did.

It also doesn’t help that he acts super bro-y with an overly masculine energy, so being labeled as like him also comes with extra misgendering over being called a man in general.

So what this has lead to is me having a very complicated relationship with my middle name, where I’ve never been a huge fan of it, but it has also been a part of my name my whole life, and it technically comes from a family member who I loved very much and miss, but it reminds me more of this other person who I very much do not. And then there’s the misgendering on top of it, and so hearing the name brings up feelings, but being addressed as it is genuinely difficult.

This has been on my mind lately, but what lead to me posting this was that I was reading the comments on a post that apparently accidentally sounded like it was referencing some movie or something with a character with that name, and I guess the reply to that line was someone addressing that character by name. So just about every comment on that post was like this (replacing with a different movie quote/name): “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!”

And even though I knew it was a movie quote, and I knew it was a common name, and it wasn’t directed at me at all, reading it being used like that, like they are addressing someone by that name, was too much, and I ended up crying and giving up on reading the comments on that post.

[sweetghosttea]

also bro i feel like this video is gonna be us at some point in the future xD https://www.youtube.com/shorts/p6fj3G_aNu0 12/20/23 7:45 pm

Monday, December 25, 2023

[2:00 AM] Ragtime Cat: merry christmas bro!!!

Monday, January 1, 2024

[12:15 AM] Ragtime Cat: HAPPY NEW YEAR BRO!!!

Thursday, January 4, 2024

[5:26 PM] ✦randi✦: OH GOD BRO STEAM DIDNT SHOW ME ANY OF YOUR MESSAGES OMG HAPPY NEW YEAR!! MERRY cHRISTmas!! ALSO YES THAT WILL BE US OMG I HOPE YOURE DOING OKAY!! A LOT HAS HAPPENED TO ME THESE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS

[11:07 PM] Ragtime Cat: SHAKES FIST DAMNIT STEAM. DONT DO THIS TO US IS IT GOOD THINGS I HOPE?? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT BRO THERE'S BEEN A LOT HAPPENING OVER HERE TOO BUT I WANNA HEAR ABOUT YOU FIRST

Friday, January 5, 2024

[12:15 AM] ✦randi✦: I EVEN HAVE IT ON MY PHONE TO TRY AND MAKE SURE I RECIEVE MESSAGES OMG. AND YES AND NO, BUT I WOULD SAY MOSTLY GOOD. THE BIG ONE IS THAT ROMAN AND I BROKE UP IN NOVEMBER. ILL SAVE YOU THE DETAILS, IT WAS PROBABLY AS GOOD OF A BREAKUP AS ONE COULD GO. THINGS JUST DIDNT WORK OUT AND HE DIDNT LOVE ME ANYMORE. THATS THE BIG NEWS. HOWEVER, I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND ACTUALLY. HE IS WONDERFUL, HIS NAME IS ADAM. I KNOW IT SEEMS A LITTLE FAST BUT AFTER REFLECTION, IT WASNT MUCH OF A RELATIONSHIP FOR A FEW YEARS. SERIOUSLY, ADAM AND I HAVE DONE MORE FUN DATE THINGS ALREADY. WEVE BEEN DATING SINCE A FEW DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS LOL. BUT DID SOME DATES BEFORE THEN. ANYWAY, AND THEN I GOT A HUGE PROMOTION AT WORK! WELL KINDA. ITS BEEN A MESS A LITTLE. SO I DON'T KNOW IF I TOLD YOU THAT IVE BEEN WORKING AT A GROCERY STORE FOR A LITTLE NOW, ILL BE THERE THREE YEARS IN JULY. BUT I AM ALMOST PROBABLY GONNE BE THE ASSISTANT STORE MANAGER SOON! UNFORTUNATELY THE OTHERONE GOT SUPER SICK AND SHE HAD TO RESIGN, BUT THINGS WERE UP IN THE AIR FOR A WHILE, AND IVE BEEN THE TEMP ASST STORE MANAGER SINCE MID OCT I THINK. ANYWAYS, BUSY BUT EXCITING!WHAT ABOUT YOU BRO?? I HOPE GOOD THINGS TOO!

[2:34 PM] Ragtime Cat: OMG WHY DOESN'T IT WORK THEN C'MON STEAM DO BETTER THAN THAT.OH BRO, I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOU AND ROMAN. HOWEVER, I'M ALSO HAPPY TO HEAR ABOUT YOU AND ADAM. CONGRATS ON GETTING A WONDERFUL NEW BOYFRIEND AND I'M SO GLAD THINGS ARE GOING SO WELL BETWEEN YOU TWO. I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST AT ALL. IF HE MAKES YOU HAPPY THAN THAT'S WHAT'S IMPORTANT YEAH?THAT'S ALSO AMAZING BRO! CONGRATS ON YOUR PROMOTION AT WORK AS WELL. I HONESTLY CAN'T REMEMBER IF YOU'D TOLD ME BEFORE OR NOT. YOU PROBABLY DID THOUGH. ANYWAY IT'S A SHAME THAT THE OTHER ONE GOT REAL SICK AND HAD TO QUIT. THAT'S NOT SO GOOD. BUT AT LEAST THINGS AREN'T SO UP IN THE AIR ANYMORE RIGHT? NOW YOU KNOW FOR SURE! IT IS BUSY BUT EXCITING!!!I'M ON THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THINGS ACTUALLY. INSTEAD OF GOOD THINGS HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. WE ALMOST LOST ALL THE RENTALS BECAUSE ONE GUY WANTED TO BE A COMPLETE ASSHOLE. I ALMOST ENDED UP HOMELESS BECAUSE MY YOUNGER BROTHER WON'T ADMIT HE HAS ANGER ISSUES AND WENT ON A MASSIVE POWER TRIP FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS AND TRIED TO KICK ME OUT,OF MY OWN HOUSE TWICE QUOTING THAT I'M USELESS AND WORTHLESS AND EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY HATES ME. I'M STILL HERE THANKFULLY AND HE'S NOT GOTTEN HIS WAY. BUT IT'S REALLY PUT A WEDGE IN NOT ONLY OUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAD AS WELL. BECAUSE HE ALSO SAID I'M PRETTY USELESS BECAUSE I DON'T MEET HIS EXPECTATIONS OF ME. WHEN HIS EXPECTATIONS ARE FOR ME TO GET A JOB HE PICKS OUT INSTEAD OF THE ONE I'M DOING THAT I LIKE. SO HE CAN QUIT HIS JOB AND NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I'LL BE TAKING CARE OF HIM. WHICH IS NOT HOW I WAS RAISED TO DO THINGS AND HE KNOWS THAT SO I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT'S SUDDENLY COME FROM. BUT MY AUNT AND UNCLE FROM HIS SIDE OF THE FAMILY ARE REALLY PUSHING FOR ME TO DO THIS TOO CAUSE IT'S "MY RESPONSIBILITY AS THE OLDEST CHILD" WHEN THEIR OWN FUCKING CHILDREN DON'T DO THAT FOR THEM. AND THEY DON'T DO THAT FOR THEIR MOM, WHO I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF AS A GRANDMA SO I DON'T CALL HER THAT. BUT YEAH LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??ON TOP OF THAT I'VE BEEN LIVING BASICALLY IN OUR DEN FOR THE MONTH AND A HALF BECAUSE THERE'S SOME WEIRD POWER STUFF GOING ON WITH MY ROOM. THE OUTLETS JUST STOPPED WORKING SUDDENLY FOR NO APPARENT REASON. ALL OF OUR TESTERS AND METERS AND STUFF SAY THEY'RE GETTING POWER BUT NOTHING TURNS ON WHEN YOU PLUG IT IN, AND IT'S TOO COLD FOR ME TO BE IN THERE WITHOUT A HEATER. UNFORTUNATELY THAT MEANS I HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO PRIVACY ANYMORE AND IT'S REALLY STARTING TO WEAR ON ME. I HATE IT BUT EVERYONE'S DRAGGING THEIR FEET ABOUT DOING SOMETHING TO GET IT FIXED OURSELVES AND I'M NOT MAKING ENOUGH TO HIRE AN ELECTRICIAN. SO IT JUST SUCKS ALL AROUND. ;n; A LOT OF PERSONAL STUFF FROM MY MAMAW AND PAPAW THAT I REALLY CARED ABOUT GOT DESTROYED TOO AND THAT'S HURT ME. I FEEL LIKE ANY TIME WE DO A LIFE UPDATE I'M GOING THROUGH SOMETHING ROUGH ANYMORE. BUT YEAH THAT'S HOW THE PAST LIKE HALF A YEAR HAS BEEN FOR ME.

Saturday, January 6, 2024

[Yesterday, 8:08 PM] ✦randi✦: I KNOW, ITS SO STUPID. I HAVE THE SPECIFIC CHAT APP FOR THIS REASON, BUT NOOO. IT IS OKAY. IT NEEDED TO HAPPEN, AND I REALLY ADORE ADAM. HES A GREAT GUY. HE DOES MAKE ME VERY HAPPY OMG. AND THANK YOU FOR THE CONGRATS ON THE PROMOTION. I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT ALL OF THAT FUCKIN SHIT THAT IS GOING ON, HOLY COW BRO. YOU'RE PUTTING UP WITH SO MUCH, DAMN. IM GLAD YOURE STILL THERE, I CANT BELIEVE HE WOULD TRY AND MAKE YOU HOMELESS HOLY SHIT. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIT OF A PROBLEM THOUGH, WHICH IS UNFORTUNATE. BUT HOLY.FUCKING.SHIT I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOUR DAD. YOU DAD?? THE LIKE, ONE GOOD FAMILY MEMBER YOU HAD LEFT. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM. IM SO SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT BRO, D: HAVING NO PRIVACY IS REALLY BAD, I CANT EVEN IMAGINE THAT BRO. I YHOPE IT GETS FIXED SOON OR SOMETHING FOR YOUR SAKE. GOD BRO I REALLY HOPE THINGS TURN AROUND, IM SORRY ITS BEEN SO BAD FOR YOU. YOU DESERVE MUCH BEETER

Sunday, January 7, 2024

[11:05 PM] Ragtime Cat: I KNOW BRO. THAT'S ANOTHER THING I'M TRYING TO GET SORTED OUT IS GETTING A BETTER COMPUTER SO WE CAN HANG OUT AGAIN WHEN YOU'VE GOT TIME! SOMETHING MORE RELIABLE THAN A SECONDHAND ANXIETY TRAP THAT'S JUST GOING TO DIE ON ME AGAIN IF I BREATH ON IT WRONG. BUT I'M HAPPY THAT HE MAKES YOU HAPPY AND THAT THINGS ARE GOING MUCH BETTER WITH HIM. MAYBE I CAN MEET HIM IF I EVER GET THE CHANCE TO COME VISIT? I STILL HAVE THE BOX OF STUFF I MEANT TO SEND YOU IN A PACKAGE. BUT I THINK THAT WAS WHEN THE MESS WITH YOUR BASEMENT STARTED HAPPENING AND I JUST HAVEN'T THOUGHT TO ASK WHERE TO SEND IT TO SINCE THEN. ALSO YOU'RE WELCOME BRO! I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT YOU DESERVE IT AND ARE GOING TO DO GREAT IN THE POSITION. THAT'S HONESTLY ONLY LIKE A THIRD OF IT TOO. EVER SINCE MY MOM DIED I'VE JUST BEEN IN HELL AND DEALING WITH SO MUCH. I'M ALSO SORRY BRO I WAS HALF ASLEEP WHEN I WROTE THAT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN SLEEPING WELL SO I'M UTTERLY EXHAUSTED MOST OF THE DAY SO I DIDN'T REALIZE UNTIL I LOOKED BACK AND READ IT BUT IT'S NOT MY DAD DAD LIKE THE ONE YOU LOVE SO MUCH THAT DID ALL THAT IT'S MY STEPDAD. THE ONE THAT LIVES WITH ME AND MY BROTHER. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR NOT LIKE CLARIFYING THAT SOONER. ALTHOUGH HONESTLY EVEN COOL DAD'S BEEN KINDA WEIRD LATELY. THE LAST TIME I WAS ACTUALLY AT HIS HOUSE AND HUNG OUT WITH HIM HE WAS JUST DOING A LOT OF GUILT TRIPPING?? ABOUT HOW I DON'T CALL HIM ENOUGH AND HOW WE DIDN'T DO A LOT TOGETHER THIS YEAR AND ALL OF OUR PLANS GOT MESSED UP SOMEHOW WHEN WE COULD. BUT WHENEVER I CALLED HIM AFTER THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ME?? HE DIDN'T EVEN WANNA SPEND CHRISTMAS OR NEW YEARS WITH ME?????? I DUNNO WHAT I'VE DONE WRONG TO EVEN MAKE HIM MADE AT ME BUT JFC. I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE. BUT ANYWAY YEAH I'M GLAD I'M STILL HERE TOO AND FIGHTING TO KEEP DOING WHAT I LOVE INSTEAD OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT. AND HAVING NO PRIVACY SUCKS SO MUCH. I HOPE IT GETS FIXED SOON TOO. I KEEP HEARING 'YEAH WE'LL WORK ON IT' 'WE'LL FIX IT HERE IN A DAY OR TWO' BUT EITHER NOTHING HAPPENS OR I DON'T GET A DEFINITIVE ANSWER ON WHAT 'A DAY OR TWO' MEANS. UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH. THANK YOU BRO <3 I'M SORRY TO HAVE TO DUMP SO MUCH SHIT ON YOU LIKE THIS WHEN WE SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON YOUR GOOD NEWS ISNTEAD!

1-28-24 [3:00 AM] Ragtime Cat: HOWS BAUDLRS GATE BRO? YOU ENJOYING IT?

2-14-24 (7:30 am)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY BRO

Monday, February 19, 2024

[Yesterday, 10:23 PM] Miranda(✿◠‿◠): OH SHIT BRO!! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! OMG BELATED VALENTIONES DAY ANYWAY I HOPE THINGS ARE GOIN BETTER FOR YOU, AT LEAST A LITTOE BIT

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

[12:06 PM] Ragtime Cat: THANK YOU BRO I'M KINDA STUCK IN PURGATORY RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. IT'S NOT GETTING ANY WORSE THANKFULLY BUT IT'S NOT IMPROVING ANY EITHER. I'M STILL STRESSING MYSELF INTO MAKING MYSELF SICK AND WORRIED AND A LITTLE SCARED.

Monday, February 26, 2024

[12:01 AM] Ragtime Cat: BRO!!!!!! BRO ARE YOU READY FOR AN UPDATE i HAVE A ROOM AND PRIVACY AND A BED AGAIN!!! SORT OF HALF OF A ROOM TECHNICALLY IT'S NOT MY ROOM BUT WE EMPTIED OUT ONE OF THE STORAGE ROOMS AND STUCK A MATTRESS IN HERE FOR ME AND MY PC SO THAT I CAN HAVE MY OWN SPACE AGAIN UNTIL I DO GET MY ROOM BACK.

Thursday, February 29, 2024

[10:22 AM] Miranda(✿◠‿◠): OH MY GOD BRO!! THAT IS A PRETTY DECENT UPDATE OMG!! IM SO GLAD YOU ARE ABLE TO KIND OF HAVE A ROOM AGAIN! HOPEFULLY THEN THAT MEANS THINGS ARE KIND OF ON THE UP AND UP, IT SURE AS HELL IS A START! OMFG IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU BRO

[10:31 AM] Ragtime Cat: THANK YOU BRO. EVEN IF IT ISN'T MY ROOM I STILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. THE SETUPS A LITTLE AWKWARD FOR MY PC WITH THE WAY THE OUTLETS ARE IN THIS ROOM, AND THE DOORS NOT ACTUALLY A DOOR ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE FOLDING SLIDING PANEL THINGS THAT DOESN'T LATCH WHEN YOU TO TRY TO CLOSE IT. BUT ITS STILL SOMETHING RIGHT?! I'M KEEPING ALL OF MY FINGERS AND TOES AND ANYTHING ELSE I CAN THINK OF CROSSED THAT THIS DOES MEAN THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.

Saturday, March 2, 2024

[11:02 AM] Ragtime Cat: BRO I HAVE ANOTHER BIG UPDATE!!!! ONE I COULD SUPER USE YOUR HELP WITH IF YOU WANT. I'VE BEEN ASKED TO BE A DND DM!!! FOR TINY LITTLE POKEMON CAMPGAIN. I'VE GOT A GOOD START TO IT THOUGHT UP ALREADY I THINK BUT I'D LOVE YOUR HELP WITH THE STORY OR JUST SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPORTANT NPCS AND RANDOM SHIT THAT CAN HAPPEN AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

[Yesterday, 11:08 PM] Miranda: IM GLAD IT FEELS SO MUCH BETTER!! IT IS STILL SOMETHING, AND WE WILL TAKE THAT! I WILL ALSO KEEP EVERYTHING CROSSED THAT I CAN POSSIBLY CROSS TO HELP!! OH BRO! I CAN TRY MAYBE!! IM GONNA BE BUSY FOR A MONTH, CAUSE I HAVE TRAINING FOR MY WORK OUT OF STATE WHERE ILL BE WORKING 6 DAYS A WEEK LMAO. BUT ILL HAVE A LAPTOP, I MAY BE ABLE TO HELP! LAY ON ME WHAT YOUVE GOT ! OMG ITS SO EXCITING THAT YOURE GOING TO DM A LIL POKEMON CAMPAIGN!!

Thursday, March 7, 2024

[10:04 PM] Ragtime Cat: THANKS BRO. FOR KEEPING EVERYTHING CROSSED AND TRYING TO HELP ME. THEY LAST MINUTE DECIDED TO DROP ON ME THAT THIS SATURDAY IS THE ONLY DAY THAT'S GOING TO WORK FOR EVERYONE GETTING TOGETHER. WHICH HAS BEEN FINE AS FAR AS THE SET UP IS CONCERNED. BUT I'M WORRIED THAT EVEN MY BASIC IDEAS FOR A STORY MIGHT NOT BE INTERESTING/FUN. CAUSE I MEAN ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SUPER DETAILED ANYWAY I RECKON SINCE IT'S JUST A TEENY TINY SHORT COUPLE HOUR CAMPAIGN RIGHT? BUT I DUNNO. MAYBE I'M JUST GETTING STAGE FRIGHT.

[10:16 PM] Ragtime Cat: MY IDEA IS THAT YOU'RE ON A VERY SMALL ISLAND REGION THAT IS MOSTLY UNINHABITED SAVE FOR ONE BIG CITY, A LITTLE FISHING VILLAGE, WHAT IS BASICALLY A THIEVES DEN, AND A SMALL TRIBAL VILLAGE WAAAAY OFF AWAY FROM EVERYONE ELSE AND CUT OFF FROM THE "CIVILIZED" WORLD PRETTY MUCH. THERE'S NO GYMS OR LEAGUES. AND THERE WASN'T EVEN A POKEMON PROFESSOR UNTIL RECENTLY. WHEN THIS NEW ONE RE-OPENED THE OLD LAB THAT HAD BEEN INACTIVE FOR YEARS. SHE PUT OUT A CALL FOR TRAINERS TO GO RECLAIM THE OLD RESEARCH STATIONS FROM NATURE AND SEE IF THAT'S WHY HER READINGS ARE COMING OUT SO INCONSISTANT AND WEIRD. SHE'LL PROVIDE EVERYTHING THEY NEED FOR THEM BEFORE THEY GO AND PAY THEM PRETTY WELL FOR THE WORK WHEN THEY RETURN. THEY'RE GOING TO MOSTLY DECIDE HOW THEY GO ABOUT IT AND WHAT ROUTES THEY TAKE SO THERE'S GONNA BE POKEMON BATTLES AND TRAINING AND SOME LITTLE EVENTS/BATTLES ALONG THE WAY. BUT AFTER MAYBE ONE STATION I WANT THEM TO SORT OF SNIFF OUT THAT ITS NOT JUST THE STATIONS THEMSELVES BUT THAT SOMETHING IS ALSO VERY WRONG WITH THE WILD POKEMON. THEY'LL MORE FREQUENTLY COME ACROSS SPOTS WHERE POKEMON ARE JUST REALLY SICK OR ACTING UNNATURALLY. AND THE SECOND BIG HOOK AND THE TWIST OF THE STORY IS THAT IT'S BECAUSE THERE'S A BIG BAD RICH GUY THAT SEES THE ENTIRE ISLAND AS AN INVESTMENT AND WANTS TO TURN EVERY OUNCE OF IT INTO A MONEY MAKING TOURIST ATTRACTION. ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. SO HE'S TRYING TO LIKE FORCE THE TRIBE TO LEAVE OR STRONG ARM NATIVES INTO SELLING THEIR LAND TO HIM. AND GETTING RID OF ANYTHING THAT'S "PROBLEMATIC" FOR DEVELOPMENT. LIKE SAY POKEMON THAT AREN'T GOING TO BE USEFUL TO HIM. MY FRIENDS' SORT OF RIVAL IS GONNA BE THE SON OF THIS BIG BAD GUY. WHO EVEN THOUGH HE /IS/ TREATING HIS STAY MORE LIKE A VACATION TO HIS DAD. STILL HAS THAT VERY RICH BOY AIR AND ATTITUDE ABOUT HIM AND THINKS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH DOING AND SAYING ANYTHING HE WANTS AND TREATING PEOPLE ANY WAY HE WANTS CAUSE HIS DAD IS GONNA "OWN THE ISLAND AND EVERYONE IN IT SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT. YOU LOSERS BASICALLY WORK FOR ME ALREADY."OH I ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION THAT

IF WE HAVE TIME FOR IT I EVEN HAS A LITTLE SIDE STORY ON STANDBY ABOUT A LEGEND OF THE TRIBE AND HOW THEY BASICALLY WORSHIP LYCANROCS.

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3773

today was nice.

joel and i got up and went to breakfast this morning at a diner nearby. the girl who sat us at our table had a familiar tattoo - it was flapjack! she was so happy to meet someone who watched the owl house when i said something. and breakfast was good, so i'm happy about that.

i brought joel home and went about the rest of my day. i started off at the liquor store so i could pick up something for me and leo. the plan was to get white girl wasted so i didn't want to pass that up lmao. i got a honeycrisp vodka that ended up being pretty good with with a warm, biting aftertaste (weird combo tbh), but it was good. more on that later.

i went up to the school, and it turned out that no one was scheduled for an exam today, so i hung around for a little while and waited just in case. but when no one showed up by about 2, i headed out. i stopped for gas and then at the grocery store for chasers/mixers, and then i made my way to the hotel.

it didn't take long to get there, and thankfully we were on the ground level so i parked my car right outside where our room was and got my shit together, put everything away, and made myself comfortable as i waited for leo.

i drank a little bit and laid down. after the two teeny bottles i drank, i was definitely tipsy

when he got there, i was so happy to see him. (the man fumbled with my shirt so bad lmao)

anyway, we spent some time messing around, and we drank a little bit together, which was nice. a nice floaty feeling accompanied me all evening as we went to dinner at chilis and stopped at best buy before coming back after. thankfully because we were so close to the strip of shops and restaurants, ubers were super cheap and super close by so we didn't have to wait long.

dinner at chilis was so good?? it'd been a while since i last went, and interestingly the last time i went i talked to leo via chat the whole time lmao. kind of fitting to eat with him, yes? but yeah. the waiter was super funny and definitely a car guy, so he and leo talked about cars for a little bit bc leo knows so much about so many things. i was so happy to listen to him talk. it makes me happy.

anyway, after all that, we got back and we drank a little more and fucked around some more too. which was all fun and games until i started bleeding. and APPARENTLY i've been hallucinating the pad in my glove box for months AND the back of my car is WAY too full of shit.

so we doordash some stuff from target, including chocolate and snacks and pads.

but we ended the evening playing video games and just talking - we played mario kart and i spent a decent chunk of time in 1st place, which was wild?? but i didn't place above 4th, which was fine. in the times ive been able to play with leo, my standard placing has improved from 10th to 4th, even on 150cc or 200cc or whatever the level is. but it was chill and no pressure and a lot of fun.

we also played smash. i've gotten to the point where i know what the controls do for kirby, which is a definite improvement! and i can consistently get in range to steal abilities from other characters and be able to use them. and, to my great astonishment and a little bit of saltiness from leo,

i won a round.

i have never won a match in smash bros before. not any iteration, not once.

but i did.

sure leo was crossfaded but the man has played smash for like seven years straight minimum and i still beat him. yes it was only once, but i do not care. i have a photo of the screen saying lil old kirby (me) came in 1st.

it was fucking awesome.

he definitely won the rest of them though lmao

and both of us have been having tummy aches but since i hurt it's harder to deal with? so im hoping it stops hurting soon. i have a doctors appointment tuesday and i need to not hurt for it.

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 121

Chapter 121: Peek-A-Boo Pan

When we got home, after the party, I notice dad looked funny. As mom started making dinner, I couldn’t help look at dad. “Is something the matter kiddo?” I told him that he looks off. “I feel off.” Maybe you should lie down. Uh? He didn’t respond. “Maybe I should lie down for a bit.”

“That’s what I just said.”

“Uh?” He looked at me confused. “When did you say that? I didn’t hear you say anything.” Oh no!

“Dad?” Now I’m worried. I quickly reached over to him, and touched his forehead. “You’re not running a fever. Usually mom, and Gohan can’t hear me when they have a fever.” I then looked at him more closely. “And your aura around you is like fading in and out. And it’s all muddy gray.” At first, he looked confused, and then he looked worried. “Dad. Something wrong. We have to tell mom. Maybe she could make you better.” But he just shook his head, and said not to worry about this. That maybe it’s nothing big. “But dad.” He just covered my mouth and shook his head.

“Let’s not worry your mom. Ok?” This isn’t good. Dad needs to tell mom. As we sat for dinner, it was clear something was wrong with dad. He didn’t even finish eating his usual amount. He didn’t eat half of what he normally eats. See. I told dad to just tell mom. Now she’s more worried than if he just told her from the start. Now, she’s going about who could they ask to find out what’s wrong with dad. Even though mom is trying to stay calm, it’s clear she’s extremely worried about dad. Then they finally come up with asking King Kai for help. Since King Kai would know more about stuff than Vegeta. With that, dad left. Now me and mom stood up waiting, and hoping it was nothing serious.

I just started falling asleep on mom’s lap, when a loud crush woke me up. The moment I woke up, I had to stop stuff from falling on mom. We soon made our way outside, and I was still feeling sleepy. I then heard mom screaming at dad about the destroyed house. Uh? The house is destroyed? I looked behind me. What you know, the house was destroyed. Kind of grateful I started that habit of putting all my things in capsule form. Never know when I’ll be sleeping over Trunks, or Gohan’s place. Mom would let me, so, it’s convenient to always be ready. Now to deal with mom screaming at dad, till they figured out what to do. I’m too tired to deal with this.

Before long, they had reached out to Gohan. Thankful bro let us crush at his place, and we’ll be cleaning up the mess another day. Somehow, I’m grateful we don’t live in the city. We could take our time with cleaning all this. When we got to Gohan’s place, I just went straight to my usual room, I crush in, when I sleep over. Before I went to the room, I overheard that we will be babysitting my niece tomorrow. Something about Piccolo having something to do, and my brother having some from of meeting. Whatever. I just want sleep now. I’ll deal with the emotions of what’s going on tomorrow. Today was too draining.

…

After a few tries, and getting yelled at by Bulma and Vegeta, I finally made it to King Kai’s. Before I could get a word in, he started laughing. “I’m surprised you even made me it.”

“You knew I was coming?”

“Kinda. Ok. So, what seems to be the problem?” After I told him what was wrong. He went about what I usually go through with a doctor. He then tells me how I have delay onset ki disorder. After he explain what it was, it was worse than I thought. I really pushed myself too hard during my fight with Hit. I even pushed myself during my fight with Monaka. King Kai says that disorder usually shows up a few days after, but the fact it came sooner is probably due to me over doing it too soon. This is bad. I really need to take it easy, or I’ll never be able to fight again.

The bad part now is getting back to earth. Hopefully I’ll get lucky and be somewhere nearby, that I could walk the rest of the way. Just my luck. I’m on an island super far from home. I’m kind of stuck here, unless I fly. But that seems like a lot of work, but gotta do it. Oh Dende! It’s like the first time I was learning to drive a car. “How do I stop?!” I was trying to land pass my home, but instead I crashed through it. When I finally did stop, I looked behind me to witness a very angry wife. “Hi honey.” I soon got an earful, before we called Gohan. Thankfully, he said we could stay and he even came to pick us up.

Once we got his place, Goten went to his usual room. Poor guy; he’s exhausted. I told Chichi, and Gohan what King Kai told me. They both seem very worried. So, looks like I’ll be out of commission for some time. Would everyone be able to handle themselves if something came up. Once again, I’m left in the sidelines because of my health. Man, why does this keeps happening?

I was so lost in thought; I didn’t even realize that something was touching my face. It took me a moment, and then I saw that Pan was in my face. How could I not smile when she’s smiling like that? I couldn’t help grab her, and hold her close. This cute little girl looks so happy. I then overheard Gohan telling Chichi if we could babysit Pan tomorrow. “Yes!” They both looked at me surprised. Then they went back to talking amongst themselves, and I went back to focusing on the little one, in my arms.

So small, and cute. I’ve seen Trunks as a baby, but the last time I held one was when Gohan was a baby. That was so long along. I couldn’t help poke Pan’s cheeks. She’s so small and adorable. Never thought I would be alive to hold a baby again. At that, my own grandchild. I started to make silly faces, and enjoy her giggles. Even lightly tickled her little belly. Hearing her laugh is so wonderful. Usually when I visit, Chichi usually carries her. When I do, I just get lost in her smiles. It’s so hard for me to let go. I just can’t help it. She’s so small, and holding her reminds me of a time were everything was right with the world.

I couldn’t stop playing with her. But the moment I heard a click, I looked up. “Did you two just take a picture of me?”

“Yes. You look so cute playing with Pan.” I just got up and walked away, with Pan at hand. As I walked around, I bumped into Piccolo, and he tried to take Pan from me. He tried telling me how I don’t know how to take care of a baby. How dare he! I’m in no mood for this. I know how to care for a baby. I did just fine with Gohan. I held Pan more protectively, as I walked past him. As I continued walking, I couldn’t stop staring down at her. My little granddaughter has so much ahead of her in life, and currently her grandpa isn’t able to keep her safe. If I don’t heal, and I could never fight again, how would I keep her safe. That made me sad, and I hugged her closer to my chest.

“Sweet little Pan. Grandpa promise to get better, so he can keep you safe. Grandpa will make sure you grow up only knowing peace. You also have your daddy to keep you safe, but you also have me, and your uncle Goten.” I then poked her little nose. “Besides, grandpa would do anything for you.” The more I say those worlds the more I remember about my own grandpa. Remembering all the happy times, and everything he ever taught me. I poked her nose again. “I’m going to be the best grandpa ever.” I then felt a tap on my shoulder. When I look, it was Piccolo again.

He suggested to sit on the roof. I told him I currently can’t fly. Then he let me know he’ll gladly help. With that, we were on the roof, looking at stars. Awe, does Pan likes the shiny stars? She even tries to grab them. She’s so cute. I ended playing airplane with her. “Papa. Papa.” That made me a little sad.

“No Pan. Grandpa. Grandpa.” I kept playing airplane with her. She’s so full of giggles. Before long, with some help from Piccolo, we got off the roof, and went inside. Once inside, come to find out that everyone, but Gohan, had went to bed. Even Pan was sleeping in my arms. When Gohan made a motion to take her, I got really defensive. “I’ll put her to bed.”

“Dad.”

“Please.” He looked very shock, but then lead me to her nursery. Once I set her down to sleep, I couldn’t stop staring at her. After a while, I finally left the room and went to join Chichi. Once there, I was slightly upset that she was already asleep. Trying not to wake her, I laid down. When I did is when I really started thinking about my current situation. I’m so weak and pretty much helpless. I currently can’t even keep my family safe. If something comes up, and I’m force to fight, it’ll be the very last one. What am I without my strength? What good am I being so powerless?

My strength was something I thought would never change. I knew I could always lose the people around me. So, I depended on my strength to keep them close. I look over to Chichi. Chichi. My Chichi. She always wanted me to finally stop fighting, and training so much. She always wanted me to settled down and be a normal husband, father, and grandpa. But I was never normal. Sometimes I wonder if she fully accepted that, or if she just stopped trying. I know she always wants us to be safe. She even wants me to be safe. She cares so much, and I always make her worried with all the training and fighting. Maybe in a way, she got her wish. Maybe, not in the way she wanted, but she got herself a normal husband for a change. Huff. I just turned away from her.

Chichi loves me for me. I know that. So, why I’m I thinking she’ll be happier with the fact that I can’t fight? And not with the fact I choose to stop fighting? It hurts thinking that. I’m currently hurt, and I’m making her worry. That’s all that’s currently happening. Once I’m better she’ll be happy again. I just know it. What if I don’t get better? We won’t be able to do all the things we enjoy doing. And I’m not talking what happens when we’re alone. I won’t be able to fly with her. or go super sayian 3, when she wants to play with my long hair. Even though I hate that, but it makes her happy. I won’t be able to a lot of things, that I didn’t realize I used my powers for. Just thinking of that, makes me sad. I need to get better. If not because I want to fight again, I’ll get better for Chichi. With that last thought, I finally feel asleep.

When I woke up, the next morning, I woke to being hugged by Chichi. She also was crying. I hugged her, and rubbed her back, in hopes to calm her down. but it didn’t seem to work. It actually made her cry more. “Are you ok?” Uh? Why did she ask me that? I told her I was fine. “No. Don’t lie to me.” She cried harder.

“But Chichi.” I tried to wipe her tears away, but they kept falling. She then kissed me. I try to kiss her back, but something was off.

“See. You’re not fine.” She buried her face in my chest, and continued crying. It took a while for her to calm down, and when she did, she still looked sad. “You stay in bed. I’ll get you some breakfast, and I’ll get Pan.” Before I could say anything, she left. Once she was gone, I felt my lips. That kiss didn’t feel like our usual kiss. It felt weird, and different. Before I could ponder anymore, Chichi came in with Pan. “Looks who got a big smile for grandpa.” Pan was all giggly and reaching out.

I couldn’t stop smiling, as I reached out for her. “Come her you.” The moment I had her in my hands I poked her little nose. I was about to get out of bed, but Chichi told me to stop. “Why?”

“Goku, you need to rest. So, that means you’re staying in bed, all day.” When she said all day, I thought the world just stopped. I knew I need rest, but it never crossed my mind that I would have to stay in bed.

“Please Chichi. I’m just going to walk around. Nothing big.”

“No. Now keep an eye on Pan, while I make breakfast.” With that she left the room, and I was left with Pan. As sad as I was, I couldn’t stop smiling around the little one. I placed her on my lap, and covered my face, with my hands.

“Peek-a-boo.” She started laughing. “Peek-a-boo.” She kept laughing every time I did so. So cute. I then started making silly faces and tickling her. She was full of endless giggles. Soon Chichi came back with a tray of food for me, and a bottle for Pan. Before Chichi could take Pan, I tried to stop her. “I want to feed Pan.” She gave me sweet smile, and said fine. She even ended up feeding me, while I feed Pan. It was such a nice moment. Till Chichi mention I should get some rest, and was about to take Pan. “Please.”

“Goku. What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“You been all over Pan the moment she was placed in your hands. Is something wrong, Goku?”

I just looked at the bubbly little girl in my arms, before looking back a Chichi. “I just… I don’t know. Something about holding a baby feels good. Last time I even held, or taken care, of one was with Gohan, and that was a very long time ago. I wasn’t even alive to hold Goten. So, could you really blame me for wanted to enjoy the experience all over again? Since the day you told me we could make children, it was a very enjoyable thought. Then witnessing Gohan grow in you, and experiencing all the ups and down of raising a child was very enjoyable. Especially with you by my side. The year before you got pregnant with Goten, I thought you were pregnant again. So, I waited to see what happened, and hope it was true. You wasn’t, and it made me sad. But then, the second time I thought you were pregnant, I wanted to make sure. I wasn’t only trying to give you a baby for you. I… I… I also wanted another child.” With that I looked away from her.

Remembering all those times in otherworld, on how much it hurt that I couldn’t be there for my second child. I couldn’t hold them. Couldn’t see them grow. Couldn’t be there. Couldn’t enjoy watching my family grow. It hurt so much. That whenever I saw or heard about a family, I would leave in fits of rage. I wanted my family so bad. But I also wanted to protect them. The only thought that made the pain go numb was how staying away meant they would live peaceful. Me staying away meant they’ll grow up without having to deal with any hardships I come with. My family is safe. But I still wanted to be there so bad.

Getting another chance was the best thing to happen to me. I even wanted to try for a third child, since I couldn’t experience Goten. But finding out that Chichi couldn’t have anymore hurt me. I lost that chance, and it hurt. But it was ok. I came into Goten life almost at the I came back from space for Gohan. I got my chance to still be a father, but it’s not the same. Even though, Goten is my child, it’s not the same watching them grew from birth. But I made peace with it. Nothing I could change.

Then came Pan. She’s my granddaughter. I might not have been around through it all, since it’s not my place. But the little moments I got I couldn’t pull away. It felt so magical to get those little moments. Chichi still got to experience holding and caring for a baby. I didn’t. Pan might not be MY daughter, but she’s MY granddaughter, and so I’m going to be pouring very ounce of my love, the same way I would give to my own children. I might not be able to father more children, and my kids are slowly leaving me, but I sure as hell going to make sure I be there for all of Pan’s little moments. I won’t only promise her I would keep her safe, I also will promise her that I will always, and forever, be around. That whenever she needs me, I will be there.

I then finally looked back at Chichi, and she’s tearing up. Oh no. I made Chichi crying. Before I could say anything, she hugged me. “I’m sorry, Goku.”

“Why are you sorry? Nothing is your fault.” She kissed my forehead, and told me to just take a nap with Pan, as she clean the dishes. “Are you ok?”

She poked my nose. “Stop worrying about me. You’re the one who’s not ok. Get some rest sweetie.” Before I could say anything, she already started leaving the room. Maybe taking a nap won’t be so bad. I got Pan with me. Oh, how wrong I was. The moment I felt something was off, I opened my eyes to see Pan wasn’t with me. In a panic I got out of bed, and looked all over the room. But no sign of her anywhere. I quickly tried to find Chichi, and tell her I can’t find Pan. That’s when I saw that Goten was here. No time to wonder about that. “What you mean Pan’s missing?” And that’s when Piccolo showed up. Now we’re in big trouble.

After getting an earful from him, we went on to search for Pan. As we searched for her, I couldn’t help feel this deep sense of uselessness. I can’t sense her; I can’t do what I normally do when Gohan used to leave Chichi’s sites. Oh, how that boy used to make us panic whenever we stopped watching him for just a second. Pan is definitely like her daddy. Giving me and Chichi a heart attack trying to find her. “PAN!” Where are you?

We looked everywhere outside, and no sign of her. We then chose to recheck inside. To our surprise, she was taking a nap on the couch. That little trouble maker is going be the death of me. We stood around her, watching the cute little thing sleep. The moment she woke up, I almost fought Piccolo to carry her. Even though I am nowhere able to actually fight, I would do it in a heartbeat for Pan. Thankfully, Chichi got in the way, and gave her to me. The rest of the day I helped take care of her. And whenever someone tried to take her from me, I got really sad.

When Gohan finally came home, our little Pan practically flew to him. Seeing what Gohan told me first hand was so wonderful. Even with the news that Gohan turned down a job opportunity, he was happy on the basis that he will be there for Pan. Which is always a good thing in my book. All I could ask is for him to be happy, no matter what. Then something amazing happened. Pan started to reach out in my direction, and then said something magical. “Grampa. Grampa.” I was just so trilled to hear my little granddaughter call me grandpa. I just didn’t know what to do. Then she flew into me, and I just couldn’t stop hugging her. “Grampa!”

The moment was so wonderful, I couldn’t stop smiling. After what felt like a short time, it was time to go to bed. I still wanted to continue holding Pan, but it was ok. I’ll get more chances. That night I couldn’t stop holding Chichi. Something about that whole little moment just lifted my spirit, and it was hard to come back down. I even was giving Chichi a lot of kisses all over her face. “Goku, are you happy?” I kissed her nose. “Is it because Pan called you grampa?” I kissed her lips. “You big softy. I’m happy too. But you still have to take it easy for now.” I gave her another kiss on her lips.

“I understand. Pan is so cute when she smiles.”

“Goku?” I looked at her. “I’m sorry that we can’t have any more children.”

“It’s ok. We always knew that there was a high chance we would only have Gohan. The fact we have Goten is a blessing. I just wish I was there through it all. So, don’t worry. Besides.” She looked up at me. “We have the best boys in all the known universe, and the best granddaughter, too. The fact we have any children is also a big plus. And I’m happy that they’re ours.” She smiled at me, and then we shared a kiss. Now this one felt just right, compared to this morning’s kiss. The rest of the night was just snuggles. The next morning, Chichi and I went to the doctors. Turns out Chichi made an appointment for me.

…

After screaming at Goku, for becoming a reckoning ball, I called on Gohan. Thankfully he didn’t mind us coming over, and he even picked us up. I really didn’t want to rely on my son, but I didn’t have much choice. I would hate to see my father and Goku argue again, over a recked home. Even in his old age, my father still is over protective of me. I find that funny sometimes. I’m a mother, and a grandmother, but my father still sees me as his little princess. Can’t be helped. I still see my boys as my little babies, and I’ll always be overprotective of them.

As Gohan drove us to his home, Goku looked really down. Poor guy. I wonder what King Kai said. I also noticed how Goten had fallen asleep hugging Goku’s arm. He must be really worried about his father. He even mumbles. “Everything is going to be ok, daddy.” I really hope he’s right. I think Goku thinks too, if that smile is anything to go by. When we make it to Gohan’s place, it took some time to wake Goten. When he did, he practically floated to his usually room. I’m so worried about Goku, I don’t even correct him.

When we gathered in the living room, is when we asked Goku what King Kai said. My poor Goku. Nothing being to fight anymore sounds horrible. For him not being able to do anything he’s use to is more of a punishment than an illness. My poor husband. Just then Videl walks into the room with Pan. My Goku is so lost in thought, and I assume he currently can’t sense anything either. Because right now Videl has Pan in his face, and he has yet to react to her. It’s when she touches his face, does he finally look up. At the sight of her, he smiles, and takes her from Videl.

Watching him play with Pan is always a joy to see, but this feels different. He looks so happy to play with Pan, and it’s so adorable. Our dear granddaughter is making her grandpa so happy during his time of hurt. The way he’s playing with her it almost seems like the times he played with Gohan as a baby. Thankfully I learned the habit of having my phone always on me. And when I took it out, it seems I wasn’t the only one with the same idea. When he heard the click of the camera, he looked at us surprised. It was so cute. And when Gohan asked if we could babysit Pan, Goku responded with a strong yes. It was always wonderful to see him take interest in caring for children. But I’m starting to wonder if there’s something else he’s not saying.

After watching him go with Pan, I continued talking with Gohan. This was just awful for his father, and I feel so useless in not knowing how I could help. “Mom, calm down. If King Kai said all he need is rest, then that’s all we could do.”

“I know, but I can’t help it. Your father just loves to fight, and taking that away is just awful. I know I complain a lot about all the fighting and training, but this is much worse.” I couldn’t hold back from crying. “It’s one thing to ask for him to stop. It’s something different that it’s being forced on him.” Gohan looked very shock and worried.

“Mom.”

“I love your father and all that he is. I would never ask for him to change that. And he knows it. But to see him go through this is just to painful to watch. My poor Goku.” He reached out for my shoulder. When I looked up, he was giving me the same smile he inherited from his father.

“It’ll be ok mom. Just give it time.” With that, I made a mental note to contact Goku’s doctor in the morning. I known this thing is affecting his ki, but maybe his body too. Memories of that heart virus starts to play in my head. My Goku was dying. Even when he beat it, he was still pushing it. If he did survive the Cell Games, how long would it have taken before his heart would have finally gave out? That question still troubles my mind.

As I waited for Goku to come to bed, I couldn’t help continuing having thoughts of how hurt my Goku is. Before long I was thrifting to sleep, till I heard the door open. Maybe it was Gohan, checking up on my again. That thought went away when I felt someone slowly getting into bed. It was probably Goku. He tends to do that when I already fell asleep. But I’m not asleep. Oh, right. He can’t tell. What am I supposed to do? Before long I felt him turning, and that broke me. He always hugged me when we go to bed. Even when he gets to bed after me; he still pulls me into his embrace. This is much worse than I imagine. What am I going to do?

I couldn’t hold back my tears, as I quietly sobbed. My poor husband. Before long, I turned around and hugged him. I held him all night. I just couldn’t sleep. My husband needs me, and yet I’m so useless. Come morning, I was still holding him and crying. My poor dear husband. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to make you all better? Before long I feel him embrace me. And it made me cry even more. “Are you ok?” He tried telling me he’s fine, when I know he’s not. “No. Don’t lie to me.” I just cried even harder.

“But Chichi.” I just couldn’t take it, so I kissed him. He reacted super slow. Even when I surprise him sometimes, he never reacted so slow. Also, the way it felt wasn’t like him.

“See. You’re not fine.” I just hugged him tighter, and continued crying. My husband is really hurt, in more ways than one. I can’t even hear his thoughts, or feel his emotions. It’s like we disconnected, and it hurts so much. My wonderful husband is hurt, and as his wife I need to do everything I can to make him better. I finally stopped crying. I need to be strong for my Goku. I told him to stay in bed, while I get Pan and make him breakfast. With new motivation, I got to work.

Once I gave him Pan, I reminded him that he needs to stay put. Of course, he doesn’t want to stay in bed. Same old Goku. Once that was settled, I went to make him and Goten some breakfast. I let Goten know he didn’t have to go to school today. He asked why. “I’m going to need help keeping a watchful eye on your father, and Pan.” He started to laughed, and agreed. I made sure to make lots, and hope that Goku was super hungry. But to play safe, I only took a small portion with me. When I went to take Pan, for her bottle, Goku insisted he feed her. “Goku, what’s wrong?” He asked what I meant. “You been all over Pan, the moment she was placed in your hands. Is something wrong, Goku?”

He looked so ashamed of himself as he spoke. “I wasn’t only trying to give you a baby for you. I… I… I also wanted another child.” With that he looked away, and I was in complete shock. It hurt him, more than he let on, when I told him I couldn’t have anymore children. How could I have been so blind to not see that? Why didn’t I see that he was hurt by that fact? No wonder he was clingy to Goten, when Gohan moved out. Goku was hurting more ways than one. Another thing I failed as a wife. Again, I failed to see my husband’s pain. Another wave of tears started to fall. No wonder he’s so attached to Pan. Not only because she’s his granddaughter, but also because he’s around to witness it all.

I feel so guilty to not be able to give my husband another baby. This man who done nothing but give me his all, and ask for so little in return. This man who died to protect our sons. This man who do absolutely everything in his power for his family, and I can’t even give him his simplest desire. Why do I keep failing my husband? The moment he looked at me, I felt so broken inside. My voice cracked as I tried to apologize. “I’m sorry, Goku.”

“Why are you apologizing? Nothing is your fault.” I just couldn’t contain myself, and hugged him. I married the sweetest man in the world. “Are you ok?” There he goes again, trying to comfort me. I don’t deserve him. I try telling him to take a nap, while I did the dishes. I even left Pan with him. Before I start the dishes, I made a quick call to his doctor. What luck. He’ll be able to see Goku tomorrow. At that, I didn’t know the hospital was open on a Saturday. He told me it wasn’t, but he’ll make a special case for my husband. I was so grateful. With that said, I started the dishes. I even had Goten’s help, then panic hit.

We then went on a search for precious Pan. She gave us such a heart attack, and when we found her inside, we were so happy. The moment she woke up, Piccolo tried to go after her, but I wasn’t having it. I quickly got in the way of the boys, and got Pan, then I handed her to Goku. Piccolo gave me a confused face, but then dropped it. Then when Gohan got home, Pan floated to him. It was so cute. But the moment Pan said grandpa everything was perfect. The joy on Goku’s face was priceless. And then when Pan floated to him, it was just so amazing. Pretty soon it was bed time, and Goku got the pleasure of putting Pan to bed.

When Goku entered our temporary room, he pulled me into a hug. And when we laid down, he couldn’t stop kissing me. “You big softy. I’m happy too. But you still have to take it easy for now.” He smiled as he told me he understood. “I’m sorry we can’t have any more children.” He forgives me. I don’t deserve this man. We then shared a kiss, and it felt just perfect. It was starting to feel my husband was getting better.

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Ch120