#so dont knock anything until u really try it

[daydadahlias]

no ok but the bad fic pitches would be a great way to get through writers block bc you’d never have to feel guilty about not posting it if it turns out bad

a bad fic pitch a day keeps the writer's block away

[nereidprinc3ss]

hii i love love how u write spencer omds🥸

uhh i was wondering if you could write sth based off the song “we’ll never have sex” by leith ross? pls dont feel pressured to write this btw😭😭😭 hope ur having a good day lovely💗💗

hello my love i have no self control so this is extremely long and plotty but i love this song and i hope that this is any good at all crying emoji (i'm on a laptop LOL) enjoy!!

warnings/tags: angst/fluff, fem!reader, negative self-talk from reader, mentions of past sexual coercion/feeling used, mentions of past excessive drinking to combat social anxiety, ive been watching a lot of new girl lately and i think it shows, SO FRIENDS TO LOVERS, happy ending

You weren’t expecting to end up on Spencer Reid’s worn-leather couch at two in the morning, clutching a chipped mug of coffee in your hands as you listen to the sounds of the city from the street below. But there you are, sitting with your legs folded under you, in your favorite dress and first date-night makeup (now bleeding and smudged from all the crying.) And realizing that despite considering him one of your closest friends, you haven’t been to his apartment in a long time. There are, of course, good reasons for that—but you try to push those from your mind. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” you sigh, staring at your warped reflection in the glassy black surface of your coffee. Spencer is coming out of the small kitchen, now bearing his own cup. 

“Please, stop apologizing.” 

You glance up, tentatively studying him from behind the safety of your mug. While he may not have been asleep when you knocked on his door ten minutes ago, lachrymose and barely verbal, he must have been getting ready for bed. He’s clad in patterned pajama pants, mismatched socks, and an FBI crewneck that is just big enough to reveal the collar of the tee-shirt underneath. He’s already taken out his contacts, and you were startled by the reminder that he also has glasses. 

“So...” he begins, bringing you back to the present moment, “we don't have to talk about anything, if you don’t want to, but...” 

You sigh, watching coffee bubbles swirl like stars in a galaxy. 

“It’s fine. Honestly, I’m kind of embarrassed. I didn’t really think, I just... ended up here.” 

“Yeah... where did you come from?” he laughs quietly. “Not that I’m complaining. But I recall you not living super close by.” 

“No, no. I was actually on a date. Kind of.” 

“Ah.” There’s a beat of silence, and ostensibly Spencer is waiting for you to say more, but instead you take a sip from your mug. “At two in the morning?” You nod dully, staring at the labyrinthine pattern of the Persian rug.  

“I’m taking it that it wasn’t a very good date...?” 

A whoosh of air escapes from your puffed cheeks. 

“No it was not. Not by the end, anyway. It actually started really well, which made it even more disappointing when he...” you laugh, but there’s not much humor in it. “Well, when he kicked me out of his car on a street corner because I didn’t want to sleep with him.” 

You don’t look to see Spencer’s reaction—only take another long, baleful sip of coffee and ignore the heavy silence.  

“I’m really sorry. You... you deserve so much better than that.” 

An attempt at a jaded scoff from you falls flat. 

“Yeah, well. Tell that to the last three white house interns I’ve gone on dates with. It’s the same thing every time.” 

“Have you considered going on fewer dates with white house interns...?” The nervous humor is a thin veil over genuine critique. You shrug, biting the inside of your cheek. 

“It’s not just them. Every single guy I’ve liked since I was 15 has been like this. Even my past relationships, I felt like I was almost... tricked into, you know? I mean, these guys, they act all understanding and willing to take it slow or whatever, until you’re in a relationship, and suddenly they’re guilt tripping you so hard and making you feel so obligated to...” you catch yourself just in time, glancing up at Spencer. You’re not sure what to make of his expression. The drawn brow and slightly squinted eyes trained so intently on you could be sympathy, or anger, or pity, or apathy—you look away, not sure you even want to know what he’s thinking. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear all about that. Basically romance is exhausting and since I’ll clearly be single forever I’m considering running away to join a nunnery.” 

When he doesn’t respond for too long, you look back up quizically. 

“I’m not sure you know what romance actually is,” he says as soon as your gaze meets his, like the eye-contact activated some kind of hair-trigger in his vocal box. 

You blink, lowering the coffee cup to your lap. 

Says Spencer Reid? 

“...sorry?” 

He flushes, stammering to clarify himself. 

“I just meant—I—I know I’m not exactly fighting women off with a stick—” he interrupts himself with a self-conscious (adorable) laugh— “but... but I have been in love, at least once.”  

“Maeve,” you say, gently—trying to shove down bitter guilt as you remember how jealous you’d been when Spencer had first told you about her. “I remember.” 

He swallows and nods. 

“We never even met—we just talked. All the time. I had no idea what she looked like. But it didn’t matter at all. Because I knew her, and I loved her. Maybe things would have gone further if I hadn’t been calling her from public phone booths, but that wasn’t the most important thing to either of us. We were still in love.” You try to shut out the sharp ache in your chest. Being jealous of the way he speaks about a dead woman is so wrong.  

“What I’m trying to say is that romance isn’t solely about sex, or even physical appearance. It sounds to me like you’ve been with a lot of men who don’t understand that. And it would be such a shame for you to write romance off in general before you even get to experience it. You are... an extraordinary woman. You’re funny, and intelligent, and kind, and so capable of being loved. One day, someone is going to see beyond your pulchritude and prove that to you. I hope you let them try.” 

More tears blur the pattern on the rug, pooling in the rims of your eyes before spilling down your cheeks in fast, fat drops. Shakily you set the cup down, resting your elbows on your knees and hiding your face in your hands. You sniff once. Twice. Shake your head quickly, attempting to wipe the tears away without further smearing your makeup everywhere. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Spencer breathes, leaning forward but obviously unsure how to comfort you. “Please don’t cry, I wasn’t--I was trying to do the opposite of this.” 

“No, I’m sorry! You didn’t have to—you didn’t—I’m sorry. That was way too nice.” 

But you're not crying because he was nice.  

Someone will love you, but not me. That’s all you can hear. 

His voice is a mere whisper when he next speaks. 

“I meant every word.” 

You take a shuddering breath, allowing yourself a moment of reprieve behind the peaceful black of your eyelids. You can’t be looking at his face when you say what you’re about to say. 

“I had a crush on you for the longest time, you know.” 

Ringing silence. But it doesn’t last as long as you’d imagined. It’s not as world ending. 

“Had?” 

The little smile in his voice is like a fist around your heart. 

“Yeah. You know what changed?” 

“What’s that?” 

Absolutely nothing. 

“Every time I got super drunk and started hitting on you, you’d just drive me home. And I did it a lot. Like, for months. But you were such a gentleman. It drove me fucking crazy. So eventually I figured you just didn’t like me and I gave up.” 

Another stretch of silence. A breeze comes in from the open window, fluttering the curtains and cooling the tears on your face. His response is sad when it finally comes. 

“You thought I didn’t like you because I didn’t try to take advantage of you when you were drunk?” 

“Pretty much.” You smile ruefully, fingertips still pressed over your eyes. “God, listen to me. No wonder I get treated like garbage.” 

“Stop. Don’t talk about yourself like that. Did you hear anything I just said?” 

You sniff, looking to the ceiling. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It was really sweet.” 

More silence. 

“But you don’t believe it.” 

A bitter laugh poisons the air around you. 

“I don’t know.  I’m kind of tired of waiting for someone to prove it to me. Just for once, I want someone to be interested in me beyond having sex in the back of their fucking... Range Rover, or whatever. Like, maybe all that stuff you said is true, but there’s no evidence to support it, and I know logically you’re probably right but I can’t help wondering if... if I’m the outlier. Maybe there just isn’t someone for me like that. Maybe I’m just gonna be the sex in the back of the Range Rover girl forever.” 

A noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob forces itself from your throat and you bury your face in your hands again, shaking your head. 

“Wow, I am so sorry,” you say a little too loudly, “I did not mean to be this honest tonight. Did you spike my coffee?” 

“You are not the outlier,” Spencer whispers.  

You sniff, lifting your head haltingly to look at him. 

“What?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he speaks. 

“You said you can’t help wondering if you’re the outlier, and maybe there just isn’t someone for you like that. That’s not true.” 

“Spencer, those are just words. You can’t possibly know that. Statistical probabilities don’t count.” 

“That’s... that’s not how I know.” 

Your heart drops as you study his face.  

No. 

Surely he’s not saying what you think he’s saying. 

Surely he wouldn’t do this to you after you’ve just told him everything you told him. You have been harboring feelings for him for years. Since you met. He can’t just spring this on you one night because you’re a little bummed out. If he felt the same, you would have found out a long time ago; he had ample opportunity to tell you. There was a period of months where you practically threw yourself all over him at every chance you got, and he did nothing. So this... this is just cruel—something you’ve never known Spencer Reid to be. 

You stand up, trembling slightly with rage and grief and humiliation. 

“Don’t do that. Don’t say things that you don’t mean just to make me feel better.” 

“What are you doing? Don’t--” 

You scoop up your purse, trying to get to the front door as fast as your gelatinous legs will allow. More tears are streaming down your face now and you don’t need him to see what he’s done to you—to see how much you care what he thinks. 

“It’s fine. Thanks for the coffee, I’ll see you around—” 

A hand around your wrist stops you in your tracks 

“Stop. Just... please give me a second to talk, okay?” 

With nothing left to give, you turn to him. 

“Don’t be mean, Spencer. Don’t act like you liked me too. That makes me feel... so much worse.” 

He takes a deep, shaky breath, as if steeling himself. Tawny eyes bore into your soul, and you realize that there is so much sheer nervous energy radiating off of him it’s infectious. Your heart begins to pound as he speaks. 

“I’m not doing that. I’m being an idiot, because you just told me that you don’t feel that way about me anymore but... but I do. And I have to tell you now because for six months I tortured myself wondering why you would flirt with me so much when you were hammered and then act like nothing happened the next day. There were so many times I almost told you how I felt but I didn’t and now I am because even if it ruins our friendship you need to know that somebody... that I wanted to be that person for you. I still do.” 

Your heart is like an unmoored zeppelin in your chest, bumping against your esophagus and threatening to either burst or jump out of your mouth. You take your chances, whispering so quietly it’s almost inaudible. 

“You... you like me?” 

“Yes,” Spencer sighs. “I have liked you for a very long time. And I’m sorry—” 

Whatever ridiculous thing he was going to apologize for, you don’t give him the chance. Instead you launch yourself at him, capturing his lips in a kiss that feels so much better than it’d ever been in your fantasies because it’s real. You hear his sharp intake of breath, but it only takes a second for him to respond, cradling your face in his hands like you’re the entire world. For a moment, time bends. Years of longing, of buried dreams crash into the present in a brilliant, dazzling explosion.

And then, as quickly as it started, he pulls away. The absence of his touch is like a vacuum, so much worse now that you know exactly how it feels to have his lips on yours, even if it was only for a few seconds. How the hell did you live like that for so long? How are you supposed to live like that ever again?

“You’re not thinking clearly,” he breathes, tilting his head back toward the ceiling like he’s barely holding onto his self control. “You just want someone to comfort you, I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’re in an emotionally vulnerable state and confided in me which is manufacturing a false sense of attachment—” 

You grab his wrists, which still graze your jaw.

“Spencer, stop intellectualizing for thirty seconds. I promise you I am thinking clearly.” 

“You said you used to like me, past tense—” 

“Yeah, I did. Do you believe every single murderer who says he didn’t do it?” 

“No, but—” 

“Have you ever heard the phrase; a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts?” 

“Of course I have.” 

“Then what more could you possibly need to be convinced that I really like you? I already kissed you! What is stopping you?” 

Another deep breath is taken by him that seems to suck all the air out of the quiet room. Briefly, you wonder if you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake. If you really do like him so much more than he could ever like you.  

Until he looks back down, eyes so golden-brown in the dim light, so kind and full of affectionate concern as he carefully assesses every square centimeter of your face, looking for... well, you’re not exactly sure what. It’s like he’s extracting every thought from your head, turning them over like sun-warmed stones until he finds what he’s looking for. He smooths his hands over your hair, brushing strands away from your teary face. Finally, after what feels like an eternity of holding your breath, he speaks. 

“I just want you to believe what I believe about you. But I don’t want you to have to rely on me or anyone else for your own self-worth.” 

“Well, don’t you think very highly of yourself,” you tease with a sniffle. He laughs—it's quiet, but his smile is so bright without even trying that suddenly you can’t remember why you’ve ever been sad. The small miracle of his laughter makes you feel so light, and you realize it has nothing to do with the way he makes you feel about yourself. It has everything to do with who he is. 

Once the giggles die down, you tentatively mirror his hold on your face. 

“Spencer, I don’t like you because you like me. I’ve liked you for an embarrassingly long time. I liked you enough that I gave myself a severe hangover at least once a week for three months just so I could have an excuse to flirt shamelessly with you.” 

A half-sad smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he gently swipes under your eyes. 

“You never had to do that. I would have welcomed your sober brazen flirting with open arms.” 

“Well... do you believe me?” you plead. His amber eyes shine. 

“I do.” 

“Will you kiss me?” 

“If that’s what you want.” 

You nod, rising on your toes to meet him halfway. 

When your lips meet again, it is sweet, and honest, and slow, and deep. Still, there is no desperation--no race to an imagined finish line, no clash of teeth and pawing hands. It is a kiss for the sake of it—as if it were the greatest intimacy. Not a precursor to sharing a bed, but something bigger than that in and of its own. Something just as worthy and important. For the first time, you think you’re beginning to understand romance. And while you wouldn’t mind if things did escalate, you also know that Spencer knows that’s not what matters right now. Because he actually understands you—he actually cares. He will wait until you understand that you mean so much more than that to him.

To that end, he pulls away, gently supplanting his absence with a kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

“It would be polite of me to offer you a ride home, wouldn’t it?” he whispers, like it’s the last thing he wants to do. You bite the inside of your cheek, coming up with reasons not to go. One ridiculous one arises from the depths of your memory that you know he won’t be able to say no to. 

“Or... I could stay here, and we could watch one of those nerdy foreign films you’re always talking about?” 

A slow, perfect, high-watt smile blossoms on his face, and you know you’ve said exactly the right thing. 

“Nerdy? Oh, my darling girl... Soviet-era filmography is far from nerdy. небесная машина will completely defy what you thought you knew about the life of an average Russian villager in the 1950’s.” 

“Oh, good. Because I’ve really been meaning to change the way I think about the average 1950’s Russian villager,” you smile, already closing in to kiss him again. 

------------------------------------------ 

epilogue

Three hours later, you’re crying because the life of the average Russian villager in the 1950’s was so much worse than you’d previously thought. 

“It was good, right?” Spencer asks as the credits roll over a bleak snowy sepia landscape, leaning back to get a better look at you. You sit up from where you’d been leaning against him, furiously wiping your eyes. 

“It was terrible! Why didn’t you tell me that everyone except the kid dies in the end?!” 

“Because that’s the whole point of the movie!” he laughs, pulling you back into him. “I’m sorry. I probably should have explained how depressing this entire era of film was outside of the US.” 

“And also how long the movies were. I was not prepared for how many five minute long clips of empty fields there were going to be.” 

“You’re right,” he ammends, wrapping his arms around you in a way that gives you butterflies and makes you sleepy at the same time. “Next time we can watch whatever you want to watch.” 

Time passes like that—you in his arms, watching weak light slowly flood the room with half-lidded eyes and listening to the sounds of the city waking up from the street below, underscoring the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Thoughts float by like leaves on the ever-flowing current of your mind, and you’re happy to let them pass until one in particular catches your attention. 

“Spencer?” 

He hums, like he’d been deep in his own proverbial river of thought. 

“What does pulchritude mean?” 

It takes him a split second to remember the bit of conversation from earlier to which you are referring, but when he does, he chuckles, running his hand over your messy hair. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

And so you let it float away. 

[coralinnii]

Hello! If u dont remember me I'm the person that requested the villainess au Trey x reader from a long time ago, just wanna drop in and say I really look forward to your works and hope you have a great day/night/time! Sorry for bothering you if this message ends up being a bother

‧₊˚✧ Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy‧₊˚✧

feat: Trey

genre: slow burn, coworkers-to-something more

note: no pronouns were used for reader, reader is implied to be old enough to work, mentions of poisoning and assassination attempts, reader is somewhat emotionally constipated.

extra note: While Trey is not quite in-character as I would like, he is supposed to be younger than his canon version, so I wanted him to be more unsure and inexperienced than his future self.

I did it, I finally got this done. Praise me (don't)

Being Reincarnated as the Bad Guy aka Villain/ess AU masterlist

You don’t get paid enough for this nonsense. No, you seriously don’t.

One minute you were finally getting off a particularly bad shift at work, only to be in this strange world you don’t recognize…as a low-ranking servant to the bloody royal family!

The rules, the standards, the pretentious nobles you have to smile in fear of having your neck sliced…where’s OSHA when you need them?

At least your coworkers were decent and you’re not in charge of anything too major like waiting on the Queen or her son, unlike that young aide-in-training you see running up and down the palace…poor Sir Clover.

Not your problem, though

…Until a couple of greedy noblemen forced a vial of poison into your hands, promising you a grand reward of money and status for your compliance. They wanted you to spike the drink of the crown prince’s closest aide-in-training so they could plant their own men by his side.

With your best service smile on, you handed back the vial back.

“No ❤️”

When they try to threaten you, you kindly remind them that if they plan to drag you in the mud, you’re not above pulling them along with you.

“If I’m going down, I’m dragging everyone with me.”

Once that was over, you wanted to cleanse yourself from this ugly conspiracy. You were way too busy worrying about your own neck, and you assumed that Sir Clover was cautious over his own safety that you, a mere worker bee, have nothing to contribute.

However, you do notice that the young green-haired man seems to prioritize others over himself, and the lights to his room are often still lit until late into the night. An honest young man burdened with responsibilities; his defenses may not always be on guard…

Ugghh, what a pain in the-

“Um, excuse me?” You looked to the tall nobleman trying to capture your attention.

“Yes, Sir Clover?”

“Were you originally scheduled to work today?”

You held your urge to click your tongue. Of course, Trey would be aware of at least who was scheduled to wait on Prince Riddle and him. What an annoyingly conscientious man.

“My colleague was feeling unwell so I offered to take her place for today. I apologize for not informing you beforehand.” You bowed politely which made the bespectacled man a little flustered.

“No, I’m grateful she could take a rest. Thank you for taking up the role but please let us know next time so we can offer some medical help if needed.”

That wouldn’t be necessary, you thought as you nodded regardless. Your coworker wasn’t really sick in any way but she was more than happy to switch schedules with you.

Many of the servants are under the impression that you harbored a crush on the admittedly cute aide-in-training since you were caught glancing at his direction more often than usual. It wouldn't be surprising if your “crush” in question is also aware of the gossip, which leads to his tenseness around you. Be it kindness or hesitance, Sir Clover chose not to reprimand you for doing as you please.

“What a pain, but I guess it works in my favor anyway.”

A knock rang through the room and with Riddle’s permission, an anxious maid came in with a tray carrying a tea set, confusing everyone in the room.

It’s not time for afternoon tea yet.

“What is the meaning of this?” For someone so young, Riddle’s sharp tone ran a deadly chill down everyone’s back. “Afternoon tea is not for another 13 minutes.”

The maid stuttered in fear, the tea set clattering slightly in her hands. “T-The servants thought that His Highness and Sir C-Clover have been working tirelessly today and perhaps some tea could help.”

You had too much of a survival instinct to dare look at the prince but the silence and building heat in the air was evidence enough that the thought was not appreciative.

Trey was quick to clear the tension with an awkward cough and a smile. “Thank you, I could use some.”

At his words, you dutifully proceeded to reach for the set when the maid hastily pulled it away from you.

Strange

“I-I can do it. Please excuse me” Without sparing a glance towards you, the maid quickly set the tray down on a nearby table and worked to pour a cup.

You’ve seen this maid only a few times. She was a new addition to the roster, too new to approach the royal family but here she was. She hadn't even learned how to properly hold the pot which was noticeable to everyone but was ignored (at the behest of Trey’s wordless plea) due to assumed inexperience.

“She’s so nervous but here she is, so adamant about serving some damn tea…”

A suffocating feeling rising in your throat, you watched with trepidation as the maid walked towards Trey while holding the teacup almost too preciously.

“Eek!” The maid shrieked when your hand squeezed her wrist in an unforgiving grip. She turned to question you but your glare kept her silent.

Trey looked at you with confusion, but your attention kept on the shaking maid and the teacup. With your other hand, you reach for your silver brooch given as part of your uniform to symbolize you as a person of the royal family.

The confusion in Trey’s eyes turned to disbelief when he watched your silver brooch become a damning color as you dipped the silver into the tea.

The broken maid would have crumbled completely onto the pristine floor if not for your hand still on her wrist. While she seemed to be a bumbling mess begging for her life, you couldn’t risk her making a run for it.

You don’t get paid enough for this nonsense.

”So, it was a plan to replace me…permanently.”

You stood silently in front of the solemn man in his office. After arresting her, it was easy to extract information from the maid and prince Riddle is gathering evidence for their act of treason, including your own interrogation.

“You are the trusted aide-to-be of the prince that cannot be bribed. You’re considered an obstacle.” You bowed your head. “I apologize for not speaking out sooner but if it were just my words without evidence, I could have my tongue removed for accusing nobility.”

If it was just you, then you wouldn’t be as confident. But to think that those corrupted nobles managed to convince someone else to do their dirty work. They were desperate and now that there was an attempt, the higher authorities have to take action.

“I shouldn’t feel bad for that maid…why should I for the choice she made…” you could still feel the sensation of that woman’s shaking body in the hand that held her. You don’t like it.

“Ha, you really don’t sugarcoat your words.” Trey’s voice pulled you back as he tried to laugh but his young body felt too heavy to put his whole heart into it.

But it’s finally over. The poisoning failed and those stupid noble scums were on Prince Riddle’s hit-list. That feeling of guilt that ate at your heart could finally rest in peace…right?

Even when he was the victim of all this, Trey was still sitting in his office in charge of investigating his own assassination attempt, on top of his usual duties in assisting the Royal family.

“Thank you for your time,” he even dares to smile kindly at you with dark circles under his warm eyes. “If you could, please call over the head staff to plan on interrogating the rest of the servants.”

“No.”

“N-No?”

“I won’t be doing that. I could ask the head staff to leave his schedule open if needed or if he could handle it with the guards since that’s his f*cking job,” You stared right into Trey’s eyes which widened in surprise. “For now, I humbly suggest Sir Clover to take a rest in his room or to work on something other than your assassination case.”

You didn’t wait for your stunned employer to reply as you bowed politely once more. “If there is nothing else, I shall take my leave.”

You moved away, making your way to the door before pausing. You glanced back at the young man in such a large office and your consciousness felt heavy. Your body was physically no older than Trey or Riddle but the weight on their shoulders was immeasurable, too much for either of them to handle on their own.

“Sir Clover,” you refused to look him in the eyes, “if you ever need anything…I’m willing to assist however I can.”

Immediately regretting your embarrassing words, you quickly added “but during work hours only!” before hastily leaving the office.

A shame really, since you missed the way Trey let out a genuine laugh after so long.

[pixelyssa]

★彡 reanswering an old ask below:

as a high r3str1cter here’s what i do:

★彡DRY F4ST!NG: 7pm-11am (i have water/meds/gum only if necessary)

It is beneficial when done for 16+ hours. and the best part is we do it in our sleep every night! 

dry means no f00d, no water. since starting this, i’ve noticed less bloating, my “morning sk1nny” lasts longer. i’ve gotten used to my dry f4st times and no longer overe@t at night, which also makes me feel good in the morning. I have acid reflux, and e@ting before bed triggers it. It also triggers, slower met@bolism, difficulty digesting and can disturb your sleep! So even if you aren’t comfortable dry f4sting before bed, atleast not having solid f00ds a couple hours before bed helps, and you will see/feel a difference.

If you tend to get cravings at night, this may be hard at first. here’s how i stopped mine:

(warning, im delulu hehe)

-i always remind myself how i feel after the fact. or the morning after. (guilty, embarrassed, weak) and eventually i was strong enough to let that feeling take over. 

-watch a mukbang or e4ting challenge for the f00d im craving and chugging water until im full lol

-i have insomnia so i have an as needed medication for sleep that knocks me out. if you also struggle to sleep, i def recommend finding ur cure. whether its rain sounds, complete darkness, shutting ur devices off, or melatonin (PRO TIP: do not buy melatonin gummies. Do not consume the 5mg or 10mg or 20mg supplements of melatonin. when our bodies lack melatonin, we only need .5mg MAX, which is sold in pill form or can be prescribed by your doctor! anything higher will just make you immune and it will stop working eventually, it also will make it difficult to get up in the morning.)

★彡COFFEE

-i drink coffee as soon as my dry fast ends. It suppresses my app3t1te for a while and it helps my bowels hehe (i also need the caffeine to get me through the day)

-i HATE black coffee, i prefer brown stevia and a splash of cream/almond milk. but whatever you like!

-i usually have 1-2 cups to start my day. 

-if you don’t like coffee, tea is also good. there are certain types that can do different things for you ofc, i like green tea for the caffeine and metabolism boost (same reason i drink coffee). but i’ve heard good things about ginger tea, mint tea, etc. (if youre a tea person i don’t need to even explain, you know.)

★彡SAVING C4L0RI3S 

-i try save them for the end of the day, that way when its dinner time and i’m hungry, I’m not feeling like i need to find something small to fit the rest of my lim1t. (the coffee helps with this step)

-i stay distracted and i really worked on self discipline to be able to get through this one lol.

★彡CHOOSE FILLING F00DS OVER FILLER F00DS

-for example, 2 oreos and juice is the same amount of c4lories as my chocolate chip pancakes r3cipe. cookies aren’t filling, you’ll just want more. theyre a filler. whereas 3 chocolate chip pancakes with berries and syrup is filling and satisfies the same craving. 

-if you like to use ur c4lories for snacks that’s completely fine, im not judging you <3 it just leads to overe@ting for me.

-i usually have 1 meal and 1-2 snacks throughout the day. I have my google doc link ready to go if anyone 18+ would like to see, comment and let me know youre of age and ill message u it (DONT DM ASKING I WONT SEE IT) <3

★彡M3TABOLISM DAYS

-by now you’ve probably heard the term “meta” or “metab” day. most people will do this once a week, it is basically where you spike your l1mit for the day. constantly lowering your intake will slow your metabolism and eventually you’ll start maintaining, or plateauing. This is to help boost your metab! Its also good for holidays, or days where you have plans involving f00d. It’s hard at first, but if you’ve been stuck at the same w3ight, its good to start doing this. 

-i do one once a week, but i’ve seen people do them in 10 day increments or even twice a month.

-a friend of mine told me metabolism days should be -200 of your bmr (you can calculate your bmr online) that would make my metab day l1mit around 800-900 c@l. (which is 300+ higher than my normal limit, incase you want to just add to your current intake instead of calculating your bmr) it should be a close to a “normal” l1mit. 

-there are chances of g4ining, of course, from metab days. don’t shy away from it if you feel too scared to g4in, this was my mistake and i was stuck at 102 for WAY TOO LONG. metab helped me break 100, and now im almost at my next goal. Metabolism days are for everyone, it’s not just sk1nny people who plateau and demolish their metabolisms. try it out, its a nice treat <3

★彡WATER INTAKE & VITAMINS

we should be drinking over 2L of water a day (you can google and calculate your specific amount needed per day, im just a girl) 

-drink your necessary amount THROUGHOUT THE DAY. it is sm water to have in one sitting so the only possible way to get it all in is to have it all day. tt’ll make you feel better too.

-this is something i struggle with, i just don’t enjoy water. I’m on and off with when i enjoy it and when i can’t get myself to drink it. If anyone else struggles, i’ve realized that ice cold water is easiest for me to drink.

-water gives the illusion of feeling full, it literally keeps you alive, and obviously sm more lol

-i take vitamin d, vitamin c, calcium and a women’s multi vitamin for metabolism every day. the water is important for helping my body absorb these. Look into other vitamins but these are what i take based on my deficiencies. 

-i take gummy vitamins, they have more c4lories than a pill, but its like a sweet treat after my meal so i’ll probably stick to gummies <3 make sure you chew them all the way through if you get these!

★彡IVE BEEN DOING THIS WAY TOO LONG Our b0dies are all different. what works for me might not work for you, and that’s fine, love! I’m sharing what i do because there is a lot of general knowledge in my routines, so i thought i’d share. 

[sh1-n0bu]

𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔲’𝔰 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 2023!

day 26: face riding with kafka from hsr

warnings: face riding, slight overstimulation, clit pinching, hair tugging, reader is completely nb but kafka refers to reader as handsome, androgynous reader supremacy

notes: would u guys dislike me if i say i dont like kafka as a character????

“can you ever say no to me, handsome?”

no. no you really couldn’t say no to her. not with that beautiful face, amazing confidence, gorgeous body and the way she teasingly calls you by that nickname. you had a love-hate relationship with the woman and the nickname she gave you and it showed. badly.

it wasn't like you could be controlled by her spirit whisper. no, you had an odd immunity to it, to everyone's surprise, to kafka's amusement at this new revelation and to your own sudden growing horror at the wide grin on the woman's lipstick covered lips. she found it odd and intriguing. not even blade, in his mara stricken state, couldn't help but follow kafka's orders like an obedient puppy the moment she uses her powers. and yet you could. not even an aeon, not even mara stricken, not even some sort of a special being. no you were a human just like her and the half of the stellaron hunters and yet somehow, by some ways, you had the strength to resist her whispers.

perhaps that was why she found you so intriguing. just a simple human, not even a stellaron hunter but rather a part of the astral express crew and yet you resisted her whispers. downright defied it, even. oh, the nerve it hit. oh, the amusement it brought to her otherwise dull and bleak life. oh, the moans and whimpers it tears out of her mouth every time she sneaks aboard the express, sneakily making her way to your room for some late night rendezvous.

it was wrong and you defied it at first. didn't even bother to pay attention to the woman as she makes another flirtatious comment to your way. batting her lashes, offering a smile, sneaking in a few touches here and there. you were so cute in the ways you shied away form her touch. just her in general. but to her surprise and delight, you were completely different when in private.

dragging her off to some random dark alleyway, pushing her inside a dark, storage room, a hand keeping her obediently in place against the wall, eye to eye as your one hand forces her to keep the eye contact as your other hand skillfully fingers her. she could barely hold back her noises the first time, completely taken aback by this sudden show of dominance that cane from someone so… shy like you.

where was the sweet handsome who shied away from her touches? who adamantly refused to even look into her eyes? who turned bright red, turning your back to her whenever she sent you a wink or blew a kiss to your way?

not that kafka was complaining. she loved letting someone as handsome as you take the reigns from her. if anything, she was almost possessive with it. with how she keeps reminding you to stay away from others. to have eyes only for her and no one else. she even went as far as to threaten your most frequent visited hook-up, ensuring that she will be the one that you call first and foremost.

how could you ever be mad at her? she was just trying to keep you safe. at least that’s the pathetic excuse that she comes up with whenever you confront her about it. to which, you always make sure to fuck her good until she could no longer remember the reason she did what she did to begin with.

walking into your room at the express without knocking, the stellaron hunter sneakily makes her way next to you. you were sleeping. completely out of it, it seems as you drool and snore loudly, lying on your back with the blanket thrown on the ground.

“such a messy sleeper you are, handsome” kafka purrs out softly, taking off her gloves to run a hand through your hair. it was messy, slightly damp. you probably took a shower before you passed out like a dead person. the thought made her chuckle.

sitting down beside your sleeping form on the bed, she makes a quick work to take off her boots. no time to waste. as much as she wanted to admire your cute sleeping face, she had no patience to do that right now. after all, she came here for a reason.

one by one, her clothes are lessened, taken off and discarded on the floor which showed just how pent up she was. kafka always loved her jackets and made sure to take good care of them but not this time. she had other things to take care of. kissing your face and chin, making you groan in your sleep, she knew exactly what she was doing. bare body flush on top of you, messing with your hair, face, hands — everywhere she could touch. you were always a light sleeper and it didn’t take long until you were awake. groggily blinking your eyes, trying to make sense of what was happening.

it didn’t take long until you realized it of course. the woman lying on top of you with her body flush against yours with her usual impish grin was enough to make you groan.

“kafkaaaa… let me sleep, dammit” you groan out, dragging out her name in annoyance as your arms comes up wrap around her back. funny how you say that yet wrap your arms around her like you missed her as much as did you. with a knowing giggle tumbling out of that cherry red lipstick covered lips, the magenta eyed woman wiggles her hips on top of yours teasingly.

“tired, handsome? what a way to welcome me back” she coos out, a hand running through your hair yet again. just hearing your sleepy, hoarse voice made her rub her legs together in anticipation. aeons, you sounded hotter like this.

“just shut the fuck up and sit on my face. i’m exhausted and in no mood to deal with you” you mutter, a yawn cutting your sentence. at least you were offering her a way to get off despite your current state. kafka couldn’t be more grateful for your big heart.

taking your offer with delight, she slowly climbs off of you before getting on top of you again. strong thighs on the side of your head, her dripping pussy right in front of you before she slowly lowers herself down on your mouth. immediately, she lets out a soft moan, a hand going down to tug on your hair as she feels how easily you pushed your tongue inside her eager insides.

as much as you hated the woman, or claimed to hate her, you absolutely adored the way she tasted and the noises she made. whether it be the soft moans and the bit back muffled surprised squeals or the sound of her glistening pussy dripping with arousal each time you fucked her to her desires. whether it be with your fingers flicking her clit, tongue showed deep inside her plush walls or when you decide to push her face down as you fuck her from behind. kafka loved it either way.

but there was something oddly intimate about sitting on your face. allowing you to devour her like she’s your last meal. tongue retreating for a moment to suck on her clit, teeth grazing against the hardened nub that makes her legs shake and let out a loud moan before thrusting back inside her. slick spreading on your mouth and chin, nose brushing against her sensitive clit as your tongue simply continues to eat her out like a starved person. hands coming up to hold her down, slowly grinding her back and forth on your tongue. you absolutely adored each moans that comes out of her. or the harsh tugs to your hair as she reaches her high, spilling her delicious cum into your mouth as your hand pinches her clit. a way to lengthen her climax as she lets out curses.

well, at least you were both satisfied for now. it would only continue once you wake up after having a much needed rest. and judging by how the magenta eyed woman laid in your arms, thighs occasionally twitching from the sheer force of her climax, you knew she had the same idea as you.

[luvyunjinxo]

college roommate ; giselle

A/N: long awaited fic after about seven months :( hope u remember me haha

CW: red flag giselle, bondage, usage of the word slut 😭, slight choking, face riding, edging, friends with benefits, somewhat proofread, lmk if I forgot anything!

you were starting college in august & they let you start moving into your dorm a month early. with all the moving boxes going around through the dorm halls everyones face was kind of blurred out.

though your roommate in particular,, she looked straight up hot and straight from Japan. you only had to share a room with one other person (thankfully) and it was her. was it a friend crush? or crush?

you had to wait a month to actually talk to her but honestly did you forget about her?? no.

you waited a month for you to actually talk to her and when you finally did she was a total bitch.

"hey do you need help with unpacking?"

"no fuck off?.." as she would shove your shoulder and walk straight out of your shared room.

she would rarely talk to you but I mean it still happens. like if you were in the bathroom for too long, or if you were gone for too long.

she was very possessive over you and you never got why? whenever she saw you with someone else she would start asking a whole bunch of questions.

what was worse is that your dorm wasn't even that big. your beds were right next to each other almost converting into one bed thats how close they were.

so annoying. she would have hookups with girls almost every weekend leaving you no choice but to go out every single friday, saturday, and sunday. what did you spend your time doing?

spending your nights with ning yizhuo or better as ningning.

she was your situationship, or just talking and you wished it would be more but its really not.

it was your time to walk home but ning decided to walk with you.

"so how do you like your new roommate?" ning asked.

"I mean shes okay but it feels like there's tension you know?" you said while grabbing nings hand to hold.

she smiled at you as you guys skipped all the way to your dorm.

meanwhile, aeri uchinaga was taking out the bedsheets from her last hookup session which was not even twenty minutes ago..

messy hair, all sweaty, no shorts on, only an oversized t-shirt and underwear.

you unlocked the door with your key walking up to your bedroom with ning thinking you could go lay in bed with her i dont know,, or maybe just sleep.

you held her hand running to the room just to see a half naked giselle on her bed taking pictures with her phone, probably sending that to her hookups. ugh, you hate her so much.

"ning wait outside the room for a minute please?"

"oh no problem! just tell me when to come back in." she sat on the ground outside of the room trying to listen what the hell is about to happen in there.

"bro did you even change the sheets?!"

"what the fuck you knew I was coming home around this time why didnt you have shorts on?"

"shit aeri, i hate you youre such a slut." you kept throwing words and screaming at her like there was no tomorrow until ning knocked on the door again.

"hey I think I should go?" you pulled her inside to introduce her to giselle who was in shorts, quiet, and annoyed.

"aeri, this is ningning, ning this is giselle my roommate"

"whatever, are you guys a thing?" aeri questioned while motioning for you both to sit down.

here we go again, shes gonna interrogate her.

"uhm yeah? you could say so" ning responded.

"well did little y/n tell you that were dating and that were talking? so I don't know how you are"

what. the. fuck. is all can go through your head right now.

ning looked at you in shocked with no words and just left. I just know she was broken.

the worse part is all of this weren't even true? you and aeri barely talk and now you just wanna be a bitch to her forever.

"what the fuck is wrong with you? you're such a fucking slut you even wanted me to be dragged into your girl fantasy."

aeri was tired and exhausted but there was so much rage in her eyes. how many times was y/n gonna call her a slut?

suddenly you were being pushed onto the bed, leaving you on your back. both hands were being tied and lifted up to reach the headboard.

"whos the slut now? youre practically weak at this point."

she was trying so hard to get your shorts off but you would kick your legs trying to stop her yet her grip was too strong for you to even move your legs anymore. "why are you doing this to me?" you said with such attitude.

"trying to put you in your place because your such a brat?" she said while sliding your underwear off. she spread both of your legs one to the left, and then to the right.

she walked around the room scolding you, and saying how much of a bad girl you were when you did nothing. or you thought you didnt?

you never really realized how much her words were turning you on. all you could feel were the cold air reaching your core. the ac was on making you especially chilly.

wet slick was running down your thighs and of course you noticed. you felt so bothered you just wanted to be touched already. you weren't the type to always touch yourself, you were more inexperienced. but this time, you felt extra needy you just needed some relief.

"aeri this isn't funny anymoree" you whined.

she crawled up to your core and started kissing your inner thighs making you start to start to arch your back and move uncontrollably. she barely even started.

she moved her finger up and down your body, teasing you in every way. you felt so helpless and you couldn't resist her touch anymore. you needed her,, right now. she started squeezing your chest swirling each bud with her tongue and flicking the other with her slender fingers.

she continued to do the same motion but moved her head up to your neck leaving marks and wet kisses along the crook of your neck.

"youre enjoying this way too much, are you sure im still the slut hm?"

she pressed her knee up to your soaked core, adding pressure to your sensitive spot.

"answer."

you suppressed your moans so in order for you to hide it, you could not answer nor say a word.

one hard slap to your core was made leaving an echo in your shared room.

"im sorry!" you whined & your brain was foggy so of course you didn't know what to say except sorry.

your slick was covered on the bed,, you were so messy at this point.

two slaps.

"answer,, whos the slut now?"

"me oh my gosh aeri .. fuck! just do something, anything! please I just need to come so bad."

she started eating you out, cleaning the mess all over your thighs. she switched between small licks and full on devouring you.

later, she found your clit teasing that spot over and over again leaving you twitching. seeing how the way you move she knew that you were the most sensitive down right there. she was def gonna tease you with that later.

"mmh! fuck" you would let out endless curses.

you gripped onto the pillow above you knowing that you cant take this much pleasure. it was all to much yet you were eager to let go.

"if youre close, hold it. im not letting you come yet."

she entered two fingers in, not caring if you weren't fully adjusted yet. all the pain later then converted into pleasure. she gripped your neck lightly but not choking you, more like just holding it.

"s-shit im gonna come,, aeri dont stop please!" you screamed yet she pulled her two fingers away and licked it,, not letting you reach your high.

"on top of my face."

"excuse me? is this what people really do?"

"put your cunt on my face is that a problem? i'll break ningnings heart telling her how her talking stage is fucking with her roommate now and that your never coming back to her."

you completely forgot about ning. your brain was messed up at the moment. like a spell under giselle. she later then united your hands

you carefully put your cunt onto her as she pulled you down more, allowing her to get more access to you. she swirled her tongue around your clit like how she did with your chest and tried to enter a finger into you.

"f-fuck keep hitting that area!"

"right there? hm?" as she started to play with the exact spot and you swear you were about to let go.

"im g-gonna come! aeri please!" you let go and you collapsed back onto the bed exhausted and still trying to catch your breath. she just giggled and you guys agreed to be friends with benefits.

"call me if you need someone to fuck, dont call your hookups anymore im done with that."

she laughed and shook it off,, but on the other hand you still went out with ning.

aeri wasnt too fond of it but whenever giselle was around ning and you she would pay close attention to you both making sure things wouldn't go to far.

college roommate ; giselle.

[tyunn1ngz]

yeonjun nsfw alphabet

cw: lots of afab!reader but no gender stated!

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

runs u a nice bath— most of the time w him bathing w u bc of ur insistence; words of praise, crinkled eyes with gentle smiles as he kisses into ur wet skin hehe

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

of his i can definitely see it being his mouth, and who wouldn’t b obsessed w lips like that!!!!!!!!!! likes how they look covered in ur lipstick, bruised from kisses, covered in ur cum and everything along that nature<3

on you i think it’d be ur thighs or ur ass, mainly based on how much he gropes his members as is LOL. loves the plush of ur thighs in every position, loves biting and groping at the soft skin and leaving his mark on u <3 thinks theyre especially cute when they tremble when u feel particularly good ^_^

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

lovvvesssssss cumming in u when u’ll let him (read: always) — doesn’t cum a whole lot nor is it thick but he’ll make sure u take every drop until he’s sure u’ll probably have a scare … shrugs …

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

probably lowk does hope he’ll knock u up even tho u guys r so adamant that ur not ready ٩(^‿^)۶

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

a little experienced maybe but doesn’t necessarily transfer every detail to his next partner if that makes sense? he knows generally not everyone feels pleasure the same ways and at the same levels so while he thinks he knows what hes doing he likes the confirmation and a little guidance where necessary bc he rly wants it to be good for u

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

missionary w ur thighs over his hips … what more can i say

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

definitely likes to joke around, he can be serious if u really want that but if u want him as he is hes gonna be giggling and smiling bc he just loves u so much he cant believe he gets to have u like this!!!!!!! probably gets more serious the closer he is to cumming hehe can’t hold himself together long enough to even try giggling <3

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

well groomed id say he cares abt his appearance but not to the point where hes completely bare i dont think , just well kept ! :]

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

hes romantic in the aspect of making u feel comfortable w him, like w the answer for G i think he can be quite silly during but thats what makes it more intimate bc its u two getting to know each others bodies best!!! just loving on each other, holding each other close and giggling into each others mouths which occasionally breaks off into pretty moans

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

loves to send u videos of himself jerking off imo !!!!! if hes not filming it for u i cant imagine he cares much for getting off by himself at all anymore whats the point of that!!!!!

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

hmmmmmm said it before but spit is a big one for him i think !! drooly kisses, calling u his good baby when he spits in ur mouth, spitting on ur cunt before he fucks u open w his tongue and fingers … the possibilities r simply endless !

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

probably likes a little thrill, semi public spaces and such where its not THAT likely someone will find/hear u but just a sliver of a chance perhaps ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ bathroom at a party or smth is probably the riskiest he’ll go <3 otherwise just either of ur homes is the way to go !!

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally almost anything abt u but especially i think any glimpses he would get of ur hips or thighs during the day would make him froth a little and he starts to think more abt those thighs on either sides of his head— all thoughts out of his own perverse nature

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

as much as theres a general hc i cant see him as a hard mean dom but that could just b me and to each their own!!! he’s realistically too much of a sweetheart so the idea of being especially mean to u ever even if its meant to be hot just doesn’t rly quite do it for him but he’s willing to try at least once if thats what u really want

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

oh hes a GIVER. that boy is a MUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and hes GOOD AT IT!!!!!!!!!!! the teasing leadup, the way he gives himself into it wholeheartedly, moaning into u like its him getting off… and again! that mouth! case closed!!!!

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends on how pent up he is!!! generally he likes it fast but not too rough, but sometimes he gets worked up enough he’s a little rougher and harder w it, or whenever u want it he’ll get a little rougher !! however u want it, he’s willing to give it to u<3 almost always its sensual tho have u seen his hips :3

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

would probs love a good quickie but prefers when he has the time to tease u up to ur orgasm, knowing u always come harder w the anticipation and perhaps just a little edging :p

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

definitely game to experiment especially if theres smth u wanna try and u get so squirmy and heated in the face talking abt it, probably not too risky tho!!! nothing that could seriously hurt u or himself

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

stamina is pretty criminal, could take u for about 3 rounds before he finally tires out but only for a break, then he’s on u for ur fourth orgasm on his tongue, strong ass jaw workout ill tell u that

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

YES! vibrators absolutely, nice silk ropes for bondage, pretty glass dildos to use on u, a galore of things he wants to try on you but sometimes he thinks abt you using them on him and gets himself so hard he thinks he could cum in his pants if u so much as kissed him

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

a LOT !!! but thats all part of his foreplay ur just so easy to rile up and so cute to make squirm under just his fingertips

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

pretty loud ? but not much and not on purpose, breathless moans that break off into longer pitchier whines when pleasure wracks through his body hehe

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he’s definitely cum in his pants more than once just from eating u out

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

honestly? i think he wouldn’t actually be that big like average or even just a bit below BUT!!! that’s just the thing isn’t it bc size doesn’t matter if u know how to use it! and lord does he!!!!!!!!

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

pretty high, but can u blame him when he has someone as stunning as u to always be his

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

i don’t think he’d fall asleep fast unless u guys have had Excessive rounds … but anyway defo stays up w ur head pressed to his chest, playing w ur hair and telling u silly stories until u fall asleep first <3

[savannahsdeath]

heyyy could u write something where like reader is about to shower but starts to get really insecure and kinda has a breakdown, BUT ellie reassures her. (pls also give reader stretch marks bc i've been so insecure abt mine lately and i have them literally everywhere. thighs, hips, even on my boobs lol) <3

ELLIE WILLIAMS X INSECURE!READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! but tbh its minors safe this time i think ??

writers note: just a reminder youre all beautiful no matter what!! beauty standards or wtv was it called are something we shouldnt base our life on but we sadly do. self love is the key to happiness and dont let other people ruin it!!🩷🩷and to our lovely anon, you dont need to worry about stretch marks. trust me, most of people dont even pay attention to them! its nothing 'special in a bad way'. i lately got some too, right before my holidays and theyre sooo visible through my summer clothes but its something you can get used to be comfortable with. please, anon, dont think less of yourself because of them nor any other insecurities. and this comes to everyone!!💞

it was already late so you were getting ready to take a shower to not waste any more time. you put your clothes on a nearby shelf. you stood in front of the mirror in your underwear only, looking for anything that could be possibly pointed out, like you didn't have enough insecurities already. feeling rather self-conscious, you were examining your reflection for any flaws or imperfections. every detail of your body was being inspected up-close, from the lines on your stomach, to the size of your thighs, to the shape of your shoulders and face. your eyes were scanning every inch of you, seeking any signs of something you could hate, even if others wouldn't notice them. you couldn't help but wonder if the things you were stressing over were even worth worrying about, or if you were just creating problems where they didn't exist.

either way, you couldn't help but hate them. and since you mostly focused on bad things and you didn't see your advantages - you hated yourself. in your eyes your whole body could change. or even should change.

the more you stared at yourself in the mirror, picking apart every little thing, the more you hated what you saw. it felt like nothing was good enough, like every little imperfection needed to be changed or worked on. you felt like you could never measure up to this impossible standard, like your entire body was inadequate. the insecurities were eating away at you, gnawing away until any confidence or self-love you might've had was gone.

that was the moment your eyes beginned to get glossy. you didn't cry though, oh, no. you hated the way you look when you cry, just like everything else, so you tried your best to hold back tears. the floodgates were beginning to open, but you held them back with everything you had. you despised the way you looked when you cried: the tears down your cheeks, your puffy eyes, all those disgusting, revolting imperfections. as much as you hated your flaws, you despised your crying face even more. you would never let anyone see you like that, never.

suddenly, your girlfriend and roommate in one, knocked on the door. "everything okay in there?"

she must notice you're taking your time instead of simply taking a shower already.

you stayed silent, knowing if you try to open your mouth you couldn't control what comes from them. you'd probably break down and the thick door won't be enough to mute your pathetic sobs.

you didn't want to answer, but then again, you knew if you stayed quiet, your girlfriend would eventually come in and check on you. you had to keep yourself together. you couldn't fall apart right in front of her like that.

you let out a shaky breath and replied, "yeah, everything's fine." you could feel your voice cracking with each word, but you were determined not to let her see you in such a sorry state.

what if she sees me the way i see myself?

your girlfriend wasn't fooled by your shaky reply. even if you denied it, she knew something was wrong. she heard the emotion in your voice and could sense the struggle to keep yourself together. without another word, she opened the door and walked in.

"what's wrong, pretty girl?" she asked when she didn't saw your glossy eyes yet.

you, on the other hand, couldn't control yourself anymore. the nickname 'pretty girl' hit you instantly, thinking you're anything but pretty.

pretty.

girl.

those two words hit you harder than a punch to the gut, evoking a strong reaction that you tried to mask. you took a deep breath to steady your voice so that you didn't break, but it was impossible to sound completely calm when you felt so much pain just from those two words.

"nothing." you muttered quietly, but your voice sounded more like a choke than a word.

she hugged you from behind, looking in the same, unlucky mirror. her hands softly touched the scretch marks on your hips as she hold onto them, gently rocking you back and forth.

you wanted nothing more than to reject this hug and flee from your own reflection in the mirror, but you were too weak to pull away.

"nothing?" she asked gently, planting little kisses from your neck to shoulders.

you felt a wave of shame and embarrassment wash over you as your girlfriend's touch revealed the marks on your hips. she immediately spotted them and caressed them with her soft hands.

it all felt too much. you were fighting so hard to hold yourself together, but when she touched you, it all came crashing down. the tears finally escaped and you began to sob, clinging onto her tightly as you broke down. "no... not nothing..."

she held you close, feeling your warmth as her arms wrapped around you and her hands comforted your pain. she rubbed your back and kissed your neck as she tried to soothe you. "shh, come here, it's okay..." she whispered gently.

she led you over to the bed and laid you down. she carefully took off her shirt, leaving on only her bra and boxers, then laid down with you, hugging you tightly. she kissed your neck, your face, brushed your hair back, caressed your body, your stretch marks, your insecurities (at least the ones she knew about), anything to try and comfort you. she whispered words of reassurance and love as she tried to fill you with the affection you felt you lacked. "i love you, my pretty girl... i love you." she repeated those words again and again, hoping you'd believe that someone could love you, and that someone was her.

ellie continued to hold you tightly as you cried into her. your tears soaked into her bra, but she didn't mind; you'd done that many times before. she rubbed your back in soothing circles as she let you let it all out, and she made small shushing noises in your ear. your sobs turned into whimpers and then into a soft murmur, and as your emotions died down, she gently wiped away the tears, replacing them with kisses.

as she noticed you calmed down she slightly pulled away to get a better look at you. "can you tell me what's wrong now?"

"i... it's just..." you started, and your voice broke as you tried to find the words. your girlfriend gave you her undivided attention, focusing on you and only you. "i- i don't feel pretty... i don't feel good enough... i don't feel... enough."

with her eyes looking deep into yours, you couldn't help but be vulnerable as you opened up to her. your insecurities and flaws, the things you tried so hard to hide, were all laid bare in front of her now.

a pang of guilt hit you in that moment.

what am i doing?

ellie was so sweet and loving, and you felt like you were just taking advantage of her kindness. like you're just an attention seeker.

but before you could say anything, she pressed a finger to your lips.

"no. shut your mouth." she said sternly, and you couldn't help but chuckle a bit. "that's not true. i don't wanna hear it, not another word." she leaned in and pressed her soft lips to yours.

you found yourself sitting on her lap, as she stroked your hair, whispering something or kissing you from time to time. you told her all about it, about what and how you feel. and she listened.

you were so lost in your emotional story you didn't even notice the way she slowly took off her rings - one by one, and placed them on a bedside shelf.

[blushingbubbles]

tonight was hard

bodywriting is one of those things that im sooo excited about before i start.

invariably though there's one moment that knocks me down and its really really hard to bring myself up again

why do i keep doing it?? i literally have no idea.

if i do another bodywriting task i will be purchasing childrens water-based markers beforehand. i will also be purchasing cheap lipstick because frankly mine is too expensive to use like a crayon, and "wasting it" (i know its not wasting but please understand what i mean) in a scene just burrows guilt in my gut.

i recently discovered micellar water is great for sharpie removal, so i thought id be okay tonight. thought that if that moment happened i could easily take the offending words off.

but tonight when i was done, i was DONE. hard stop. i wanted everything off. it wasnt one thing. it was all of it.

i wanted to be done. wanted to be clean and cozy and out of play. i was done looking at the degrading words. i was done objectifying myself. and the "done" ness came so quickly i got whiplash.

i couldnt move fast enough. despite the micellar water, the markings weren't coming off, and the words i had written started getting to me. id been looking down at my breast so long that when i met my eyes in the mirror and saw "whore" across my cheeks and "dum cunt" across my forehead, i completely broke down.

tonight, i just needed help cleaning myself off. but when no help came (naturally, because all of you are online) i had to be the one to take care of myself. (and that of course makes sense. i know it makes sense. but having to feel it?? the loneliness?? the fact i couldnt get the words off?? the inadequacy laid plain in the "dum cunt" smeared across my forehead??? pull my teeth out one-by-one before you make me go through that again. god it was fucking awful.)

all of you are online. and ive been perfectly fine and content with that -- from play to aftercare -- until tonight.

tonight was a big blow, and im still working through the feelings. still crying (only because im writing this and reliving). still trying to get the words off. a lot of them are still there.

i wanted to post this for any other subs out there starting to or already in any kind of dynamic like mine. if u feel anything like this it's completely normal. nothing is wrong with you and it's okay. get waterbased markers.

and any new Doms who want to know what's going on in a sub's head??? here you go. if you're playing online one-on-one with your sub, i personally suggest going back through every single word written on their body during aftercare and countering the splinters of objectification that embedded during the scene. (looking back on tonight, i think i wouldve benefitted if someone had told me to slow the fuck down and go one by one over everything. but i was so desperate for it to be over i dont know if i wouldve listened anyway.)

[stevie-petey]

I have an idea for a Jonathan x Steve x reader blurb

You know how gaten matarazzo is a singer and does Broadway? How about Dustin and bug are both former choir kids. Like had solos in recitals and everything. I'd imagine Mrs/Ms. Henderson being super proud of her talented ass children, but Dustin and bug quitting choir as soon as they transfer to Hawkins. Like Jonathan's the only one who knows about it until Jonathan or Dustin bring it up trying to tease / embarrass bug. Steve just being surprised and impressed while Jonathan's laughing his ass off, telling Steve about every performance he knows. Bugs just sulking in the back having so many embarrassing memories come back." You guys are dicks you know that?"

anon this was sent back in JANUARY and i just want to say: u amaze me. idk how u guessed so accurately my bug being secretly good at singing because of her mom plotline

spooky. anyways, enjoy !

"just one song, angel." steve follows you around the store, pestering you. "promise i wont laugh."

"yes you will."

"why do you have such little faith in me?"

"because im a loving girlfriend."

steves about to complain, but the bell above the front door cuts him off. he turns, ready to greet the customer as if he works there, and sees jonathan instead. "oh, youre here."

jonathan gives him a funny look. "im... sorry?"

"you should be," steve scoffs at him, annoyed that hes interrupting a very important conversation with you. steve is determined to annoy you into singing for him. its a hill he will die on if he needs to.

"did i miss something?" jonathan is completely confused as to why steve is being so cold to him. he thought they put aside their differences by now. sure, they arent necessarily friends, but jonathan was willing to call steve a loose acquaintance by now.

guess not anymore.

you walk back from the storage room and pat jonathans shoulder. "ignore him," you glare at steve, warning him to knock it off. "hes just mad that i wont sing him anything from theater camp."

as soon as the words have left your mouth, you know youve made a grave mistake.

the confusion on jonathans face slips, and an evil smirk replaces it. your blood runs cold, he has that look in his eye that has only ever meant trouble for you. "is that so, steve?"

"... yes?" steve doesnt trust the guy. jonathans always been on your side. hes never once gone against you, so steve is a little skeptical of where this is going.

"jonathan byers dont you dare-"

jonathan covers your mouth and shoves you behind his back, which you fight against pathetically. holding you back, he tells steve, "i have tapes of her and dustin performing at least five musical numbers. costume changes and all. i can show you them, if you want."

steve cant believe what hes hearing. its too good to be true. you and dustin? hed kill to see that. "youre so full of shit, byers."

"im serious-ow!" jonathan flinches and pulls his hand away from your mouth. theres a bite mark on it, red and fresh, and he glares at you. "was that really necessary?"

"youre going against me!" you then turn to steve, hit his chest, and he flinches as well and rubs at the wound. "you both are! stop it, go back to hating one another!"

steve drapes an arm over your shoulder. "no can do, angel. jonathan and i are about to become best friends."

"we can watch the tapes at my house." jonathan drapes an arm around you as well, each boy on opposite sides of you. steve nods eagerly, giving you pleading puppy dog eyes to say yes, and you groan.

its going to be a long, long day.

[deathbxnny]

jingyuan, dan heng blade and gepard with s/o who loves call A N Y O N E pet names, how would they act when they feel jealous about and but if they will tell its to their s/o they are kinda oblivious thinking they are just being nice:((( dont make it sad please, thank u!!

-----♡

A/N: This is honestly so cute to think about, so thank you for this request!<33

Content: Fluff, jealousy, pet names, reader being a little clueless, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread!))

-----♡

》Jing Yuan

He doesn't mind it at first, finding your friendliness quite cute and endearing. It was just something you did, something that was normal to your character. And most people took it in a friendly way too... until he noticed, that some took it as something more than that.

He would never tell you to stop doing something you obviously seem to like doing. But he began growing irritated by the people that went out of their way to hit on you, once you gave them a nickname.

You were so oblivious, that you just thought that you were doing a nice thing. And Jing Yuan thought so too, but alas, he'd still eventually tell you to maybe limit the nicknames to very important people. Like him ofcourse.

He didn't even notice his own jealously, until you teasingly called him out on it. He'd just chuckle, agreeing lightly that he perhaps was a little jealous, but that he was also worried someone would take advantage of you.

At least the talk was effective and made you stop giving everything you see a nickname. Only he deserves them anyways, in his eyes.

-----♡

》Blade

Your friendliness and kindness is what drew him into you in the first place. But that also meant, that he became very possessive over that aspect of you and wouldn't tolerate you sharing that warmth with anyone else.

So you going around giving everyone a pet name wouldn't last very long on his watch. He'll try to tell you to kindly stop it and just shower him with the pet names instead. This intrigued you, as he at first didn't like them much.

But his jealousy seemed to get the best of him and you found it absolutely adorable. Yet you still try and argue, that you were just being nice, which he doesn't really understand. Why would you be nice to anyone but him anyways?

Thankfully, you find him quite adorable like this and promise to knock it off, as long as you get to call him anything you want. Even if the pet names are embarrassing and you're in public.

You're lucky, that he loves you. You truly are.

-----♡

》Dan Heng

He doesn't particularly understand why you're giving everyone pet names and might even bluntly tell you to stop. Yet when you explain to him, that you were just being nice to everyone, he begins to wonder if he was the problem.

Yet he can't help but feel this burning jealousy in his heart, whenever you give a person a nickname, that is obviously into you. They don't deserve your kindness and so he makes sure you understand his reasonings for wanting you to stop. He just wants to keep you safe after all.

You find his jealousy quote adorable and agree to stop it eventually, mainly because you didn't want him to blame himself for having such strong emotions. Besides, what he said seemed to be true and he deserves your pet names the most anyways.

He gets quite flustered, when you just give him multiple one day, yet thanks you for each one gratefully.

-----♡

》Gepard Landau

He honestly doesn't mind it at all and tries ignoring his jealousy for the most part. Your kindness and warmth makes the world seem brighter, so who was he to take it away?

Besides, you seemed to have innocent and friendly intentions that he admired greatly, so he let's you be and do as you please. The last thing he wants, is to come off as controlling.

But eventually, it does get to him, mainly because he knows that many people are pinning after you as is and your need to give everyone a pet name was making it hard for him to keep everyone away from you.

So one day, he sits you down and tells you as such, reassuring you kindly that he didn't want to force you to anything, but would just like it if you called him all the pet names instead.

Once you giggle and call him out on his jealousy, he usually vehemently denies it. But his blush unfortunately give him away.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was okay! Thank you again for the request!<33

[dazzlingjaeyun]

I dont know if you make part two of stuff but it would rlly be great if u could make a part two of “sweet escape” ><

thank you, anon, for the request!! i'm glad you liked part one and i hope you'll like part two as well! this comes kinda late but i was very busy with my studies the past weeks so i apologize, but i hope this was the wait! <3

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐩𝐭. 𝟐 - 𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐢

best friend!riki x fem!reader

genre: fluff & comfort

warnings: mentions of cheating, swear words

word count: ~1k

↝ part 1 | ↝ dazzlingjaeyun's bookshelf

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

you had lost track of the time you spent on that bench together - but time didn't matter. what mattered was that you felt okay. like you always did with riki.

after some more time, riki decided to take you home, claiming it was getting too late and he didn't want your parents to realize you basically sneaked out.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

"riki?", you asked, your tone careful as you looked up at him with doe eyes.

"hmm?"

you fiddled with your fingers. "can you stay here? i don't want to be alone...", you confessed, the volume of your voice decreasing with each word you spoke.

riki bit down on his bottom lip, seemingly trying to find a reply.

"i don't think that's a good idea", he said. he felt bad for turning you down. but despite being your best friend for a long time, he didn't feel in the position to sleep over. not anymore, not now that you had a boyfriend. one that was already way too jealous, riki thought. he couldn't care less what your boyfriend thought about him, but he didn't want anything to get back to you.

you let out a short sigh, but you understood him and his motive without any verbal explanation. yet, you felt somewhat scared of how your feelings that you had successfully shoved away would hit you once you'd be alone. so you tried again.

"at least until i fell asleep?"

riki gave in, understanding that all you needed in that very moment was someone's company. although deep down, a tiny part of him wished it was specifically his company that you craved.

he waited until you laid down and sat on the floor next to your bed, facing you. you tucked yourself in your blanket and riki, for the second time that night, put a strand of hair behind your ear.

"good night, y/n" he so softly that it almost came out as a whisper.

you just hummed in response and closed your eyes, the exhaustion of crying for so many hours before taking over your body now that you were warm and comfortable in bed.

after some minutes, riki heard you breathing more evenly, signaling that you had fallen asleep. yet, he hesitated to get up.

instead, he remained seated on the floor, put his arms on your mattress and laid head on his hands so both your faces were only some centimeters apart.

your demeanor seemed so peaceful now that you were asleep and that alone almost warmed riki's heart. he fought the urge to stroke away the strand of hair that fell over your face again, not daring to touch you and risking waking you up.

only as he felt his eyes getting heavy, he slowly and carefully lifted his head from the mattress and stood up from the floor. he gave you one last smile before tiptoeing to the window to go back home.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡

days later, you told riki why you had cried so bitterly that night. it wasn't really on purpose, the words rather slipped out of your mouth during your daily catch up call.

you didn't know what you expected when you accidentally told him that you had caught your boyfriend with another girl only hours before the video call that night. however, him hanging up on you in the middle of your sentence was definitely not what you expected.

around half an hour later, you heard a knock on your door, to which you just muttered an indifferent "come in".

the door opened to reveal no one other than your best friend. again unexpected after he had hung up so suddenly.

he was carrying a small bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. before you could even open your mouth to ask, he cut you off.

"please tell me you broke up with him", he said sternly, as he walked into your room, past your bed and to your nightstand.

"that's what i was telling you. you'd know if you hadn't hung up on me mid sentence!", you replied, crossing your arms.

"what are you doing anyways?", you asked, dropping your attitude and now rather showing confusion, as you saw riki taking a picture frame from your nightstand.

"you still have this picture of the two of you here. i think it's time to get rid of his annoying face", he replied, his attention on the picture frame. he opened it, took out the photo and instead placed the piece of paper he had brought inside.

after he closed the frame and put it back to it's place, you could see what the piece of paper was; a small drawing, again of your favorite flowers.

riki handed you the bouquet before sitting next to you on your bed.

"these are for you... sort of as a cheer up? and when they're wilted, you have a mini version of them here", he said while pointing to the drawing on your nightstand, "these will stay with you"

"i'm sorry for what you had to go through. i know these won't turn back time and they won't change what happened, but...", he hesitated, "i want their beauty to remind you of your own. you're a beautiful person with a beautiful soul and you never deserved any of this"

you felt your heart warming and tears pooling in your eyes as you pouted at the gesture and his words.

riki gave you a soft smile and patted your head carefully.

"i'll make him regret hurting you. and i promise i'll take better care of you from now on"

you slowly shook your head.

"it's not your fault he's a bitch", you replied, which made riki chuckle a little. "thank you for all of this, really"

"anything for you", he replied. like he did so many times. when it came to you, that would always be his reply, no questions asked.

"i'll make up for all the effort you always put into everything, i promise"

this time, he shook his head. "no need to", he smiled as he pulled you into a hug. "i like being your sweet escape"

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

thank you so much for reading up until here and special thanks for the request!! it means the entire world to me and i hope you guys enjoyed it. please do not copy. ❤︎︎

feel free to leave feedback & interact!

- dazzlingjaeyun

[gaybananabread]

AHHH, ok ok. This is my first time like ordering anything so I’m nervous asf. But I’d like oranges, grapes and cherries with Ler!Jax and Lee!Pomni. Obv everything platonic, and like, go nuts with the plot. (Idk if this is worth mentioning pero I have this silly little headcannon that Pomni squeaks like a squeaky toy when squeezed so like, IF YOU WANT, you can add that.)

IF YOU DONT DO THIS ONE ITS OKK, I rly enjoy your writing and hope you have a great day/ night, tyy <33

Fruit(s): Oranges, Grapes, Cherries

Aww thank you Anon! You’re all good, and love that Pomni would absolutely become a dog toy (¬‿¬). Jax is definitely interesting to write for, and I like playing around with his asshole-ness. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Pomni

Ler: Jax

Summary: Pomni is still getting used to the circus, anxious and uneasy in the new environment. Jax tries to help out, though he does it in his own annoying way.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

In the circus tent, small NPCs ran wild, knocking things over and babbling nonsense. They were like the Gloinks, but so much worse. Caine had dipped on them once again, leaving the characters to fend for themselves. Zooble peaced out, but the others were stuck with them.

It took nearly the whole day, but they had managed to contain the little monsters until Caine came back to woosh them away. For most of the characters, it was weirdly routine. For the newest arrival, however, it was more than off-putting. Pomni just felt…out of place in the digital world. She wandered around the tent, trying to calm herself down.

-

Jax was walking around, trying to find something to do. He would have messed with Ragatha, but her and Gangle were having some kind of “girl’s day.” Ugh…he wanted no part of it. 

Just as he was considering going to explore the forbidden rooms, he heard the faint jingling of bells. Pomni must’ve been “exploring” the grounds again. While she wasn’t his usual target, the jester would probably keep him entertained until something else happened.

The smug and confident smirk he always wore shrank as he approached her. Pomni looked so…so tired. Tired and way too wound up. Still, he sauntered over, trying to gauge just how upset she was. “Hey, newbie. You sane after that horror show?”

Pomni flinched at his voice, taking a second to register what he said; she’d been spacing out for most of the day. “U-uhm…yes? Why?”

He rolled his eyes, trying to act as aloof as possible. “Really? ‘S just that ya look like you’re about to fall apart. Hey, you think that’s possible here?” Jax cared about how she was doing, but he had an image and a rep in the circus. No way he was jeopardizing that.

“Shut up, Jax…” She turned away from him, rubbing her arm and looking down. The girl felt crummy enough; she didn’t have the energy to deal with his junk. 

He chuckled, leaning down and getting eye-level with her. Jax was bored, yes, but he didn’t want to see Pomni so down. Might as well try and cheer her up. “Aww, c’mon Pom-Pom! Try a smile; it won’t kill ya!” He reached out, trying to poke her side in an attempt to get her to smile. Before he could even get close to her blue side, she gasped softly and jerked away from his hand. Oh…that’ll work.

The look on his face was a dead giveaway to his plan. “Jax, no! I swear, don’t you even think abo-KYAH!” Pomni was cut off by a sharp poke to her stomach, whatever she was trying to say lost in a squeal.

“Oh, I’m doin’ more than think about it~” Jax’s voice was smug as ever, his gloved hands wrapping around her middle and wiggling them into her sides. The bunny crouched down, just so he could whisper in her ear. “Tickle tickle, Pomni~”

Squeaky and bright giggles bubbled out of her, only making Jax’s smirk grow. Pomni was much less amused, kicking and wriggling around in his grip. “Y-youhuhu prihick! Gehet ohoff mehehe!”

“Nah, don’t think I will.” One fun thing the purple rabbit noticed; Pomni was blushing. Really blushing, so brightly that it put the circles already on her cheeks to shame. So, of course, he called her out on it.

“Wow, I didn’t know you could blush like that, newbie!” He cooed, making sure to poke up and down her ribs as he spoke. “Thought bright red was crybaby’s thing, but you go girl~” 

“Sh-shuhut uhuhuhup!” The bells on Pomni’s hat jingled with every sharp jolt and tug, only making the scene funnier. Jax was thoroughly enjoying himself; he had maintained his vibe while also making Pomni smile. True, he was being a bitch about it, but it was working.

Wanting to try something else, Jax clamped both hands firmly on her sides, giving them a nice squeeze. Nothing could’ve readied him for what happened next. “Jahahax! Wouhuld you- *squeak*” 

Suddenly, his hands stopped moving, giving her a quick breather as the shock and amusement set in. After a few seconds, a loud bark of laughter escaped him, his voice more playful than it had been the whole time. “No *sproing*-ing way… You squeak?!” 

Without any further warning, he dug into her sides, rapidly squeezing them in the hopes of more squeaks. “J- *squeak* COHOHohome ohon! Quihihit- *squeak* JAHAX!” The sound was almost like a dog toy’s squeaker; it endlessly amused Jax, leaving the rabbit wanting more and more of the adorable sound.

“This has gotta be my favorite quirk of yours, squeaky-toy!” He squeezed and poked along her sides, sneaking a quick rib scribble in every few seconds. Best day ever…

“P-PLEHEHE- *squeak* NOHO! JAHAX!” While he was more than enjoying the squeaks and laughter, he could tell Pomni was wearing out. Not wanting to potentially get on Ragatha’s very-bad side, he stopped squeezing the jester. “Alright, alright, no more squeezes. That was fun, though~”

Pomni went almost limp in his arms, trying to catch her breath. She looked up at him expectantly, expecting to be released. Jax only laughed at her expression. “Oh, newbie, no. I never said I was done~” The ever-growing blush on her cheeks made him smile wider, his almost haughty confidence growing.

He tested out her neck, smirking at the surprised giggles he received. “You’re just a walking tickle-spot, aren’t ya? There anywhere you ain’t ticklish?” Deciding to be a bit merciful, he kept the tickling to light scratches, exploring the area. 

Much to his surprise, Pomni’s giggles softened, her body going almost slack against his. Jax wondered if he’d managed to kill her for a second, but he soon realized that she was just…enjoying it. Pomni wasn’t trying to push at his hands anymore; she just grabbed his wrists and loosely hung on.

“Aww, Pomni! You like this, don’t ya~?” He continued lightly tickling underneath her chin and the front of her neck, basking in the lazy giggles and lax squeals he got. Jax had no idea how someone could practically melt from getting tickled, but he wasn’t gonna question it. 

“Ihihihi- shuhuhut ihit…” Pomni could’ve had a better response, but she was too comfy to try. While he was still tickling her, it felt much more relaxing and nice in that spot. She could’ve stayed there all day…

Quickly realizing the jester was about to fall asleep on him, Jax stopped and patted her back. Pomni took a few shaky breaths, residual giggles still squeaking out in her daze. The bunny boy just chuckled, trying to help her wake up, in a sense. “You’re good, I’m done, wakey-wakey.”

Pomni was tired, though, and feeling like mild revenge. She just leaned into the purple boy, closing her eyes and letting the sleepy relaxation take over; girl was out in seconds. 

“...Pomni?” Jax’s smirk slowly fell, his brow-area bunching. She hadn’t moved in a few seconds, though he could see her breathing. Did she… That little-

Seeing her asleep on him felt strangely similar to a kitten napping there. It felt wrong to move… “*boing* it…”

Hopefully Ragatha and Gangle will be done soon…

[nappingnai]

megumi drabble

angst with no comfort at all, hinted at itafushi, wc; 670, im sorry i love u guys, not proof read so if theres mistakes im sorrryyyy

itadori is gone, and gojo has been given a task from before his execution. to give megumi a handwritten letter. gojo wants to snoop and see what it says, but he knows its not smart.

the soft sound of knocking interrupts megumis thoughts, muttering a small "come in" as he makes himself look somewhat presentable. gojo strolls into his room, sighing as he lookd around.

"yuji wanted me to give you this." is all he says before turning around and leaving, unable to let megumi mutter a word or let a single noise escape his vocal cords. megumi looks at the paper— a small, off-white, folded up— signed by itadori. his messy, but pretty handwriting with small doodles around it. mainly just silly ones of megumi, or itadori himself.

it takes megumi a couple of moments before unfolding the paper, letting his eyes quickly scan over it to see what the main jist of it was before taking a deep breath and deciding to genuinely read through it.

"hey fushiguro! if you're getting this note, its quite obvious ive passed on. i dont wanna say i'll see you soon because i want you to live longer than i did, okay? ill see you someday, though. thats for sure. anyways, i dont really know how to go about this. all those books i borrowed, you can have them back, if you want. they should be in the drawer next to my bed, unless gojo-sensei cleared my room out already. i think he'll leave that to you, though? i did ask him too, but you cant get everything you want, yknow!

anyways, other than all that stupid stuff, i'll miss you. i would say to tell kugisaki i'll miss her too, but, i can tell her that myself now. im sorry for leaving so soon, but you still have gojo-sensei and some of the others. i know you're not a huge fan of communication or anything, but don't continue to be that person that sits in the corner at parties!! live life a bit. i get you're a sorcerer and you assume everything will always be shit, but you can still live. it wont kill you to not be a misanthropist for once in your life fushiguro.

dont drown yourself in guilt over this because there was nothing you could've done to stop it. i was going to meet my end whether you wanted it to be stopped or not. i always had a question, fushiguro. i lived a somewhat nice childhood for someone like me, but the question always ran through my head atleast once a year. was i raised without love, or was i unloveable? and i figured out the answer. i was raised with love, just not enough for me to feel like it. and im not unloveable because i know you loved me with every ounce of love your soul could provide to me.

i think this is long and sad enough already, so, moral of the note, thank you. tell gojo-sensei im sorry for having to leave so soon, but it was bound to happen. i lived an interesting life because of you. id rather die than never meet you. thank you for this, and i love you, megumi."

megumi had already balled up the piece of paper in his hand once finished with reading it, the tears lining his waterline threatening to fall. he let out a shitty attempt at a chuckle, which seemed to be the breaking point of it. instead of a chuckle, it was a choked back sob, making him cough a bit. he threw the paper, even if it didnt go very far. he sat on his bed and stared down, sobbing. he kept wiping his eyes to try and make the tears disappear, but they kept appearing as if nothing could stop them.

megumi went to bed that night with nothing but tears and a hole in his heart that he feels will never be filled until he sees itadori again.

(misanthropist - a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.)

[dishushu]

i remember it, all too well.

42!miles g morales x reader

summary: you've been dating someone for a year and slowly you realize they've become distant. barely texting you, not showing any admiration, always out clubbing. until you went to their place and see something unspeakably wrong, you snap and they try to come back to you. months later, still broken. you met miles and you two become very close. one day you see them again and you can remember the memories all too well.

warnings: super angst (fluff in the end of COURSE) cursing, bad spanish (i’m so sorry y’all😭) creepy ex bro, cheating.

a/n: WHOOP i started listening to atwtmv for like a 100 times and it gave me the idea to write this (all hail taylor swift!!) this is gonna be so angsty i swear like im so sorry yall 😭 but lemme tell y’all i swear 42 miles has rizz i’m not lying

words: 2.2k

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

your life was pretty fine the past few months since you’ve met your partner.

they were, everything you wanted. they loved you to the moon and back and you said the same thing too.

but a year passed and things started to change, drastically.

they stopped paying attention to you, stopped hanging out with you, was always on their phone and most of all, always went clubbing.

you’d be at your place and it was around 12:45 in the morning, he was supposed to come by.

the first thing that came up to your mind was text him, they were probably busy anyway?

…..

love&lt;3

12:46 am

y/n: babe, wru? you were supposed to come to my place an hour ago.

seen 12:48 am.

y/n : hello?

seen 12:50 am.

……

you sighed, tossing your phone to the side of the bed as u curled up in ball, thinking why they left you on seen.

you decided to go check up on them yourself, so you put your shoes on and walked over to his apartment.

you knocked on their door, seemingly waiting for an answer, there was none.

so you opened the door which was seemingly unlocked, and scanned around the room, calling out their name.

when you heard loud music from his room.

you knocked but there was no answer as you thought the music was drowning your knock so you opened it.

and oh boy were you in for a surprise.

you dropped your purse on the floor as you stood there as if you saw a ghost, but instead you saw them making out with someone else.

“so that’s how shits going huh.” you said bluntly with tears in your eyes as your words jolted both of them up and your partner turned to look at you.

“it’s not what it seems like bab-“ they were protesting, pushing the other person away and walking to you but you cut them off and pushed them away.

“there’s nothing to fucking explain!” you screamed. “its all right infront of me, dont even bother.” you said as the tears flowed out of your eyes, looking away.

“please love im sorry i- just- give me another chance” they tried to grab your hands and you pulled away quickly.

“so you just can call me up again just to break me like a fucking promise huh? i expected better from you.” my voice cracked at every word as i walked away and slammed the door shut.

i was home, on the floor. in a ball of sadness. tears, snot, everything flowing out. while they kept texting me.

…..

unknown number.

1:15 am

un: babe please

un: please im sorry

un: i won’t do it again

un: forgive me

seen 1:20 am.

…..

you knew damn well he was lying so you blocked the number, shutting off your phone and sliding it across the room.

that day, your whole heart broke, you never felt anything anymore, love was completely just a game to you

but do you think everything will change soon?

it was your usual day. wake up, get ready for work, walk, get to work and actually work.

you worked at the cashier in some convenience store.

you’d felt numb and dull the past few weeks and didn’t really have the motivation to do anything, but you had to so you did. but you just remember everything all too well.

you were doing your job as normal and nothing around changed honestly, it was just your average normal day until someone came in that caught your eye.

it was a boy about your age, he was wearing sweatpants and a sweater, the way his jawline stands out and his braids touching his shoulders.

you thought he was cute but you shook off your feelings and went on with your day.

you noticed he was catching a few glances from you, you thought of it as nothing when he paid normally and went out the store.

but he kept coming back to the store every single day for the whole week and you two start to talk a bit more, but not your actual huge conversations.

but this one time. he was in the store picking up a few stuff and bringing it to the counter.

you scanned the items as you put it in a paper bag,

“15.44.” you told him the price.

“keep the change.” he said giving you a 20 and his spanish accent had you rolling on the floor (metaphorically).

you mumbled a thank you as he walked out, you were going to put the 20 in the cash box but suddenly, you saw a note attached to it.

* xxx-xxx-xxxx, my number. text me soon hermosa. - miles:) *

you were shocked to the brim as u held the paper in hand profusely blushing as you started to smile a bit.

did a guy just really give his number out to you?

you kept the note in your pocket, still blushing and went on with your day. until you came back home

you held the note in your hand again, still contemplating if you should put the number in your phone.

you did it anyway.

as you shakily typed the number in your phone, you added his name in the contact number and pressed the message button.

…..

miles(?)

10:05 pm.

y/n: hello?

*minutes pass by and you were doubting a message back from him. but your phone dinged.*

miles(?): hey

*you were shaking in your bed as you saw his reply.*

y/n: you’re miles right?, the guy from the store?

miles(?): the one and only. miles(?): and you’re…?

y/n: sorry.. i’m y/n

miles(?): nice name ;)

*at that point you were shocked by the little winky face he put*

y/n: the same goes to you :)) y/n: so.. weird question but why’d you give me your number?

miles(?): just thought you were cute.

*his reply literally had you in shambles and you didn’t know what to reply with but it hit you. it could be your ex’s friend again trying to get on you for breaking up with them.*

y/n: are u sure? because i swear to god if you’re one of my ex’s friends trying to shit on me for breaking up w them i will literally murder you.

miles(?): i swear, i don’t know who your ex is. but are you okay though?

*i sighed in relief, knowing that they stopped doing it.*

y/n: yeah, sorry i’m just paranoid. y/n: i gotta go, talk to you soon?

miles(?): alright, see ya soon hermosa.

……

you closed your phone and start to smile, but it feels like everything that went down happened was only yesterday, time won’t fly for you. it’s like your paralyzed in your own heartbreak.

you lay down in your bed, thoughts drowning in you as you start to fall asleep.

days turn to weeks and you and miles start to become closer friends. and you wouldn’t deny to admit that you liked him, ALOT.

but you never told him. you were scared of commitment ever since it happened.

you never told him, you never bothered to say anything because he never asked you and you were fine with it. until one day.

you both were on the rooftop at his place laughing about anything and everything, talking about what happens.

until he asks a question.

“so, that day, the day you first messaged me about your ex’s friends shitting on you for what happened, whyd you think i was one of them?” he looked at the stars slyly, glancing at you at times.

“well.” you sighed, fiddling around with your fingers,

“i didn’t know who his friends were, so they would come around at work, giving me their number and i would text them obviously and they would always tell me i was cute or something but the next second they just shit on me saying mean stuff and i kinda just couldn’t trust anyone after that.”

he looks back down to look at you , with an apologetic look on his face, when he went to scoot a bit closer to you.

“can i ask what happened?” he asked as his hand was slightly touching yours as you looked at the stars.

“we were happy for a year, everything was fine but they grew distant. they stopped talking to me and always went to clubs and came back home drunk. they seemed off for so long and i went to their place and saw them making out with someone else and i just kinda lost it, because they did this twice and i lost my shit at that point, i haven’t felt love ever since. i just kinda lost motivation, i really want my old self but i just can’t seem to find it.” tears filled your eyes to the brim as i told him everything.

as the tears start to flow out, he hugged you tightly and rubbed your back. “lo siento mucho querida.” he whispered.

“you did nothing wrong okay? it was all them.” he hugged you tighter.

as he pulled back from the hug, wiping the tears from your eyes.

it was silent for a moment after he pulled away.

“i could change that.” he spoke up after the brief silence that filled between us.

you locked at him surprised, “what.. do you mean?”

“you said.. you would never feel love again right..?” his words were soft when he spoke.

you nodded slowly as you turn to look at him looking at the stars.

“well, i could change that.” his head lowered down to look at you but you looked away.

“how will i know you end up the same as they did?” you looked down looking at your knees when you felt his hand grab your chin and pull you in closer for a kiss.

you were shocked at first but then you slowly melt in to the kiss, finally realizing he was the one.

as he pulled away, he held your hand tightly. “i promise i won’t break your heart mi amor.” he whispered. "ill give you the world, the stars if possible, anything for you."

you felt this wave of love you’ve never felt before and it made you feel full, you went to hug him tightly as you never wanted to pull back

“i love you, miles.”

“te quiero también, mi amor. más de lo que sabes.”

after that day, you and miles started dating and it was nothing like you experienced before.

it was always flowers here, flowers there and he was just a straight up gentleman to you.

you just closed up your shop early tonight to go on your first date with miles, and when you both were walking there, you bumped into someone and both crash to the ground.

“oh my god im so sorr-“ you were frantically picking up their stuff to give it back and when you both look at eachother, you stopped talking. it was your ex.

everything, every single memory of you both flowed down your mind and you remembered it all too well.

“amor are you okay?” miles bent down to check on you when he noticed you giving a dirty glance at your ex, and it hit him.

“yeah i’m fine let’s just go.” you tried to stand up but your ex’s hand pulled you back down and restraining you from standing up.

“what the fuck do you want?” you screamed and it grabbed miles attention.

“please, im sorry i didn’t mean it can things just go back the way it was?” he protested and was on their knees begging you to stay

i pulled my hand out of his grip as we both stood up “i already told you, a million fucking times, no.”

“please i’m sorry, i- i was drunk and i wasn’t thinking straight.”

“so you’re telling me, those both times you were drunk and you weren’t thinking straight? those both times you fucking cheated on me and you weren’t thinking straight? you choosing pleasure over our goddamn relationship and you weren’t thinking straight? you could’ve thought for a SINGLE moment, will this affect my relationship? of course it fucking will you asshole. get out of my sight.” you stood back up and walked opposite where your ex was, but they wouldn’t stop and grabbed your hand again.

“just forgive me plea-“ he was about to get on his knees but miles stood infront of you and grabbed their arm tightly so they could release your arm

“back up bro, y/n already told you they don’t want you. don’t make it harder for us. one step closer and you’re gone got it?” miles let go of his hand as a warning and they nodded and ran away and miles turned to you.

“are you okay querida? you aren’t hurt anywhere are you?” he put his arms on your shoulders, scanning your body for any wounds.

“i’m okay, just a bit shaken up." you sighed, fixing your clothes.

miles was genuinely worried about you and you told him everything's fine as long he was with you.

"i'm so sorry amor that they keep doing that to you." he grabbed yout waist and pulled you in a hug.

"you know ill protect you always right?" he pulled away from the hug.

"promise?" you held out your pinky for a pinky promise and smiled softly.

"promise querida." he took his pinky and hooked it with yours and shook it softly and pulled you in another hug.

although you still remember all the heartbreaking memories all too well, you had him and that was enough for you.

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°

© hearts4hobie.

do not steal, translate, and rewrite without permission.

[kiwibongos]

i dont really infodump in general at all but im doing it cus i need some ideas off my chest. do you freak with angst? perhaps an unhappy ending?

// sdr2 chapter 5+ending spoilers ig. also kuzuhina au baybee

so i had an idea of like. what if nagito DID actually bomb the island, taking everyone out alongside himself?

so when nagito finds out that he alongside all the other participants (aside from chiaki) are remnants of despair he just wants to end everything for good bc he doesnt think the ones he called "symbols of hope" deserved to live. so bombs are spread all around the islands forreal this time, and hes still just as vague and ominous, never really specified how many bombs there were, what island it was on, and left it up to the survivors to try and figure it out. so they'd all been searching for days, but to no avail, and at the very last moment when fuyuhiko finds them at the military base (nagito had just freshly died + placed them on the truck), he drags the others there to check it out. once nagito's video message to them ends, the bombs go off alongside a chain of other explosions across every island. the remaining survivors ran out of the factory, barely on time, and everything started crumbling around them, and all the others were downed one by one, crushed underneath falling structures with no time to be saved

but somehow haj and fuyu survived (who were farther away and had more time to react), the others dying right in front of their own eyes. but they ran away, retreating to the warehouse immediately. and hajime just takes a minute to crumble in fuyuhikos arms wishing he couldve saved them. until they hear music echoing in the warehouse. they walk down, and past a curtain, they find nagitos body with a spear through his head. (the fire/poison didnt go off btw, it wasnt really necessary in his plan.)

im sure u can imagine hajime was fucking raging at that point just breaking down and stressing out, how mad he was at nagito for running away like this and inflicting all this pain onto everyone, and monokuma let him do it since yknow, technically he couldnt punish him for a crime he hadnt committed yet, and all this happened in a matter of minutes. but fuyuhiko snaps him out of his panic for a second and knocks something through hajimes head, and the realization hits; it’s just them now. they’re the only ones left

and neither of them know what to do

but their first thought was to get out of this factory as fast as possible, so thats the first thing they do, navigating through the fire and leaving the entire fifth island, and hope that maybe they can find a way out of here, or ask monokuma or monomi for help (since the island is in shambles, they must have to let them go right?), so they wander around, hoping maybe then something would happen, but there wasn't any sight of monokuma or monomi. the fire kept on spreading, the smoke was getting worse, so fuyuhiko and hajime eventually retreat back at the military base (one of the few places untouched by the bombs) so they could catch their breath, collect their thoughts, and make a plan (or hopefully monokuma would come to them, if they stay in one place.)

they just kinda sit inside of a garage for a while, talk a little and comfort eachother through it, hajime is crushed by guilt and horror, but he realizes they wont accomplish anything just by sitting here. and if he couldnt save the others, he can save him and fuyuhiko. so haj leaves fuyuhiko in the garage with determination to think of something to get them off this island somehow. he looks for ways of escape, like the helicopter outside, but no fuel. he looks for materials or tools for a boat, but the island had been extremely lacking in that, everything was either burned or missing by now, so even their most plausible idea was destroyed. when hajime returns to the garage in a panic, pacing around, fuyuhiko realizes they arent getting off this island. they cant wait here forever. but hes known this for a while, and he knows what he has to do now

eventually, he hands hajime a pistol(acquired from the truck of firearms outside), and asks him to kill him so it could finally be over

obviously hajime refuses at first, but fuyuhiko begs him, because he isn’t a good person and he doesn’t have much else to live for, while hajime has singlehandedly saved everyones asses, he deserved to escape more than anyone else here, he basically tells him 'its time you take care of yourself.' by now, hajime was crying, but they’ve been at this dead end for so long, he knew he had to do it or else they’d never be getting off this island. so hajime just had to accept it, so he just holds him close, says his final goodbyes before making it quick for him

pulling that trigger hurt him more than anything, knowing he'd failed to the end, but anyway boom monokuma comes out congratulating him, ends the simulation, and hajime is the winner

also postgame babey; when things end here, hajime would wake up from the simulation, and since he never got to choose his own future alongside everyone else, he wakes up as izuru kamukura, inside the abandoned pod room. he's not entirely empty i think, izuru and hajime still would have "merged" afterwards, but his memories of the simulation are very fuzzy very quickly, so hajime is somewhere in there, mourning, justi n the deepest parts of his mind. but thats a whole thing to get into. the survivors, fuyuhiko, and everything that happened, are just kind of like a vague nightmare that sticks with you no matter how much you try to forget it

but he just leaves the pod room, and lurks around the city without any other purpose to serve anymore, all alone. the future foundation hasnt found him since

edit: side note i was really back and forth on it for a while but i finally wrote this into a fic lol. the brainrot consumes