#so at the time of me finishing this it's been over a week since i binged everything and it's like tuesday night

[nemesyaaa]

not gonna lie, i'm sick to my stomach, like real sick. it was so beautiful, but like in a angsty majestic way and i'm feeling so sad. this is what i love the most about angst, it's really get me so mad. it's breaking my heart :(( fuck you, because i love angst rafe cameron x reader and fuck you for writing this insanely crashing out plot. i'm gonna haunt you in your sleep if i dont get an happy end. be prepare to finish what you started 😀✋🏿

it had been four years since you had last been on kildare island; four years of trying to forget the life, or the ruined bones of one, that you'd been escaping from. — hellooooo ????

"it's already in your name." the man sighed, smoothing his hand over his shaved head; he looked so different than usual, the dark bags under his eyes making him look like he had aged ten years, his usually tan face almost pale. "you can do whatever you want with it. keep it, sell it, i don't care. it's yours. i never want to step foot in this place again." — whdkzidlzkekez i want to kill myself fine ???

"shit..." rafe stared at the screen wide-eyed, letting out a low breath, "that's our baby." — 🥹🥹🥹

you arrived at rafe's door, bringing your hand up and pounding on the door before you could stop yourself and chicken out for the third time that week. you were a wreck, unable to sleep, to think about anything other than how much you knew you needed to talk to rafe. — Reading this while having turning tables by adele on my head IS SOMETHING...

and when you saw what she was holding up and showing to him, the knife in your chest was twisted. — i'm unwell. i'm fucking unwell. ‼️‼️💔

(I dont DESERVE this at all. I WANT TO BE HAPPY.)

touchy subject pairing: reader x exfiancé!rafe synopsis: seeing your ex-fiancé after four years. warnings: angst, some fluff, mentions of a miscarriage, just pure agony! wc: 1.8k inspired by the song 'touchy subject' by peach prc. part 2

a white baby gate fixed in my hallway stays haunting the house with the angels we made; sometimes, i dream, a decade away, we meet in a grocery store; you look the same, with just a few grey hairs. the blonde little girl who tugs on your shirt with your smile looks nothing like me.

it had been four years since you had last been on kildare island; four years of trying to forget the life, or the ruined bones of one, that you'd been escaping from.

after ending your engagement with your fiancé, you'd traveled all around the country in your beat-up truck, hoping to find a place where you'd belong; only to end up back in the outer banks. they say there's no place like home, and in a way, it was true. you can leave kildare island, but kildare island will never leave you.

"everything okay?"

you're startled out of your thoughts by the melodic sound of your mother's voice, and when she follows your gaze to the baby-gate attached to the door leading to the kitchen, her mouth twists into a frown. "i was meant to take that down before you got here..." she chewed on her lower lip, a pang of guilt almost punching her in the chest.

"it's fine." you shrug, trying to lift the ends of your lips into a smile, only for it to look artificial and rehearsed. "i should start unpacking."

"alright." your mother placed her hand on your shoulder, but should've been a comforting gesture, made you feel like you were underwater and the hand was simply pushing you deeper.

you stood alone in the living room of your apartment, the only thing to be heard of was the ticking of the clock your mother had already mounted on the clock, mixed in with the sounds of passing cars, so unlike the day you first moved into the apartment, yet so much like the day you were last there.

"you should keep the apartment."

"rafe, i can't do that. it's way too much, and i'm leaving-"

"it's already in your name." the man sighed, smoothing his hand over his shaved head; he looked so different than usual, the dark bags under his eyes making him look like he had aged ten years, his usually tan face almost pale. "you can do whatever you want with it. keep it, sell it, i don't care. it's yours. i never want to step foot in this place again."

your feet were almost moving on their own, the hardwood floor cold under your feet, leading you to that door, and even though you felt your blood run cold, every cell of your body telling you not to open it, you couldn't help but nudge the door open.

you didn't know what you were expecting.

stepping into the room, you let your hand trail over the soft-pink wall, still remembering the smell of paint.

"you know, you shouldn't be doing that." he sighed, leaning against the doorway. "i can just hire someone to paint the walls."

you roll your eyes, your denim overalls covered in the soft pink paint as the paint stained the white wall, "i want to do this. i'm not gonna hire someone to do everything for me when i'm perfectly fine doing it on my own."

"you're not-"

"hush." you pointed the paint roller at rafe, "i'm doing this. now pick up a paint roller or quit whining."

you look down at the crib, lined with white lace, picking up the brown teddy bear that used to belong to you when you were a child, brushing your hand over the fur, straightening the pink bow around its neck.

hung above the crib, was a picture of a couple that had just gotten engaged, wide smiles on both of their faces; a couple that had once been so familiar to you, but now, it was like you couldn't recognize either of the people in the photos.

it felt like everyone was staring at you as they walked past you; four years clearly hadn't been long enough to make the people of outer banks forget about you, and as you made your way towards the local cafe, you couldn't help but think about how long it'd take for the person you didn't want to know you were in town to find out.

you were strolling down the street, rafe's hand in yours, your fingers intertwined. you licked the ice cream cone, deep in thought, letting rafe take the lead.

"what's going through that pretty head of yours?" he chuckled softly, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it, your engagement ring glimmering under the sunlight.

"baby names." you shrug, "what should we name her?"

"do you have any names in mind?"

"i was thinking..." you pursed your lips, not sure if the name you had been considering would be appropriate or not, chewing on your lower lip as you turn your head to face your fiancé, an expectant smile on his lips and his brows lifted in question, "evelyn."

when the name left your lips, you saw his mouth fall open, and for a moment you thought that you never should've spoken, but after rafe cleared his throat, there was a clear smile on his lips, his blue eyes glassy.

"you- you uh, wanna name her after my mom?"

"yeah." you smile, squeezing his hand. "i do."

for the millionth night, you were laid in bed, looking through pictures, featuring the faces of the couple above the crib in the room next door. pictures with the man's arms wrapped around the woman's waist, ones of them holding hands, ones where one was pressing a kiss the other person's cheek, ones from the several midsummers parties they spent together, ones from halloween, thanksgiving, christmas...

the girl in the dress she had planned to wear on her wedding day.

"rafe, where are you taking me?" you laughed, the blindfold covering your eyes, "if the blindfold's for some kinky purpose, you better forget about it."

rafe laughed, continuing to lead you, his large hands on your waist, "come on, have a little faith in me. i'm not that bad, am i?"

"oh, you definitely are. just last week we were an hour late to ava's party because you just thought i was irresistible."

rafe snorted, "well, that's because you were." he pressed a kiss on your cheek, "you can take it off." he whispered, taking a step away from you.

untying the blindfold, you blinked a few times, letting yourself get used to actually being able to see again, only to be startled by the sight of your boyfriend on one knee in front of you, a small velvet box in his hand, "rafe...?"

you wiped away the stray tear that had left your eye without permission before it could reach your jaw, continuing to scroll through the pictures, knowing that it'd be yet another sleepless night, but when you saw a picture of her, you paused.

you weren't sure who was more nervous, you or rafe, even though you were the one in the examination chair, your shirt pulled up and your rounded stomach on full display. his hand was tightly gripping yours, the man's jaw clenched.

"let's take a look, shall we?" the ultrasound technician smiled, and you nodded, feeling her spread the cold gel onto your stomach, a slight yelp leaving your lips, making rafe squeeze your hand even tighter. you looked to him, nodding reassuringly, speaking softly, "it's okay."

rafe's grip loosened slightly and he softened his grip, both of you turning your heads to the screen, and the moment you saw the little lump on the screen, you couldn't help but feel tears stinging in your eyes.

"look. that's our baby."

"shit..." rafe stared at the screen wide-eyed, letting out a low breath, "that's our baby."

just like on any average day on the island, the sun was shining, your skin radiating with warmth as you walked down the street, looking in through shop windows; it had been a few days since you'd first stepped outside, and it seemed like your arrival had become widespread news, and you didn't receive as many stares as you did before.

you arrived at rafe's door, bringing your hand up and pounding on the door before you could stop yourself and chicken out for the third time that week. you were a wreck, unable to sleep, to think about anything other than how much you knew you needed to talk to rafe.

you waited, tapping your foot against the ground and biting down on your lip, when finally, the door slowly started opening, a small smile forming on rafe's lips when he realized that it was you.

"hey baby," he chuckled softly, placing his hands on your waist, "you miss me so much you couldn't even text me to let you know you were coming?" he grinned.

"i have to talk to you." you pull away from his embrace, taking his hands off your waist, the blonde looking down at you with furrowed brows, crossing his arms in front of his broad chest, clearly alarmed by the slight frown on your lips.

"what's wrong?"

"i'm pregnant."

without even realizing it, you had stopped in front of a jewelry store, gazing inside at the things on display as you were going down memory lane inside your head. you let out a small chuckle, about to step back and continue walking, when your blood ran cold, the smile fading away from your face, feeling as if someone had stabbed you in the heart.

to anyone else, it would've just been the backs of two random people. but even without seeing his face, you could recognize the only man you'd ever loved no matter where you went.

his short-sleeved white collared shirt was tucked into his dark jeans, riding up slightly as he ran a hand through his hair, having grown out slightly since the last time you'd seen it, his signet ring on his middle finger.

you saw him let out a chuckle, and you could almost picture how it'd sound, his hand going to rest on the back of the person he was with.

a younger woman smiled up at him, and even just from her side profile, you could tell that she was gorgeous, her flaming hair flowing over her shoulders, the smile on her face genuine, matching his.

and when you saw what she was holding up and showing to him, the knife in your chest was twisted.

an engagement ring.

[spatialwave]

Confession || Jayce Talis x Reader

➸ ask: “The sacred romantic moments prompts are so darn cute I can’t choose😩how about ‘truth is that i’m so damn in love with you that i don’t know what to do with myself’ for jayce. Thanking you🫶🏻” – ➸ pairing: jayce talis x gn!reader ➸ word count: 1.9k  ➸ tags: mdni! fluff, hurt/comfort, yearning, one-sided love, confessions, childhood friends, no use of y/n. ➸ notes: i think i popped off with this one! took me a couple of days to write, but i am so happy with it! if you like yearning then this one is for you!! hehe. the ask came from this prompt! – ➸ summary: jayce talis has never experienced love quite like this.

The melodic whistling from Jayce had woven itself into the very fabric of your life. A soundtrack to your life you hadn’t asked for. You were never able to escape the sounds or his presence. Stuck at the hip since children, spending much of your life watching him dream larger than life. 

Jayce Talis was hope personified.

He carried a quiet tune under his breath, careful fingers toying with a rune he had meticulously carved. The warm pads of his thumbs brushed away the layer of dust that accumulated from the careful engravings, pausing his whistling for a moment as he carried out the task with a swift blow of his breath.

“Someone’s chipper,” your voice rang through his cluttered apartment. Leaning casually against the door frame, you watched as he perked up, head snapping over his shoulder. Those eyes reminiscent of the sun breaking through the clouds settled on your figure.

It was a pain, Jayce thought, for you to be so oblivious of his feelings.

Days, weeks, and months turned into years. All this time spent loving you, one-sided and terrified that you may never know. Too afraid to ruin a perfectly good thing. His yearning clung like a shadow.

Jayce had been there for you – always. Your first broken bone, your first love… your first heartbreak. Jayce remembered that day vividly, the way your body shook as you sobbed on his shoulder begging for the ache in your heart to stop, all while he held you and drowned with guilt for feeling happy that was the one there for you.

All because it meant that just maybe you would see him in another light. See him as a man who was worthy of your love.

As always, he bottled it up. Refusing to jeopardize the bond you shared. If he couldn’t have your heart, he’d protect his own.

“Yeah,” Jayce replied, his voice filling your heart with a sense of familiarity as you stepped into the room, hands settled onto your hips. Dropping his supplies, he quirked an eyebrow and straightened up slightly, “Wait, how’d you get in here?”

“You know, Jayce,” you sighed, giving a short ‘tsk’ of disappointment as your eyes bounced around his lab. It was messier than usual, the scattered tools and half-finished contraptions indicating he’d been spending more time here lately, likely on the brink of another grand discovery, as he’d call it. 

“Locking doors is free and usually saves you from burglars,” you continued, bending to poke at one of the hextech crystals on a messy desk.

“Hey,” he exclaimed, hurrying to your side with a breath of concern, snatching the orb from your curious touch, “Careful!”

The way he carefully handled his precious work was endearing, almost as tender as cradling a newborn baby. There was no faulting him for that–after all, you weren’t going to be the one to have your eyebrows burn into flames again. You learned your lesson, but it was hard not to rouse a reaction out of him once in a while.

To see the way he’d growl under his breath when you pestered him, or how he’d nudge you with his elbow affectionately. Little gestures that made him fall for you harder and harder with every passing day.

You were so damned insufferable, and he couldn’t get enough.

Eyes met yours as the two of you stood next to each other, silently. A moment of solace to bask in each other’s presence.

“You look like you need a break,” you murmured, eyes squinting to get a better look at Jayce to take in the obvious signs of exhaustion on his face. His eyes were heavy and highlighted by dark circles underneath, the growing stubble–“Did you even sleep last night?”

“I’m fine,” he chided, avoiding your gaze as he turned to tuck away the crystal you’d bothered, safely in its proper case, “As for sleep, I got enough to keep me going.”

“So… three hours, give or take? Including a twenty-minute nap for about ten minutes sometime around the three o’cock mark.”

“That’s creepy,” Jayce shot you a sideways glance, a smirk pulling the corner of his lips, “You’re creepy for knowing that.”

Your mouth dropped in a dramatic expression of mock disbelief, a silent gasp, “And you’re quite rude, Jayce. It’s not kind to name-call.”

“Okay, okay, sorry,” he snorted, slipping off his gloves from his fingers and resting them atop the desk behind him. As your eyes flickered out his open window, momentarily distracted, he took the time to admire you as you soaked in the sunlight that cascaded past his open curtains. The sunlight illuminating your features.

Jayce smiled, captivated by your effortless beauty. He would do anything to be given the privilege of showing you the way you looked in his eyes.

“You need a break,” you declared, your eyes landing on his just as he averted his gaze, “Come on before you go crazy.”

Your hand extended toward him, causing his heart to leap up into his throat as he stared down at it. Impatient, you shook it in silent urgency, and he was quick to fill it with his own as you tugged him far, far from his cluttered sanctuary that desperately needed a good clean.

“Gods,” you breathed, laughter bubbling up your chest as you found yourselves standing on the bridge that separated Piltover from Zaun. Your hands rested over the railing, fingers curved along the stone as you leaned over and looked down at the waters below, “Remember that time we came out here back when we were… what, fifteen? We stole that bottle of wine from my mother’s cabinet and drank so much that you nearly toppled off the ledge trying to climb on it.”

Jayce hadn’t been paying attention, hands tight over the rail like yours, entranced by you. Your lips were stretched into a wide, toothy grin as you looked down and relished in the cool breeze that tickled your warm skin.

His heart ached, thumping irregularly as it yearned, and cried out to be loved by you.

It’s why he allowed himself to be swallowed by his work for days on end–anything to escape the unbearable ache of being around you. It hurt, to be next to you, like a physical blow to the chest.

For years, he stood quietly off to the sidelines, watching as you were loved by others. Seeing the way your entire being lit up when you spoke so passionately about the love in your life, light in your eyes. Only to be shattered when they inevitably stomped all over you like you were nothing, leaving you a shattered mess. Jayce would be there to pick up the pieces, spending long, sleepless nights consoling you until your soft snores overtook the tears that streamed down your cheeks.

Jayce was nothing if not a coward. Regret clouded his mind each night when he would berate himself for not having the courage to confess his feelings. To tell you how much he fucking loved you.

He hated how angry it made him.

“Hello?” 

Your voice snapped him from his reverie, and his amber eyes widened as you stared at him, piercing through the fog of his thoughts.

“You really need some rest,” you said quickly, your eyebrows furrowing together in concern, “are you sure you’ve been okay?”

“I’m fine,” he grumbled, running a hand over his tired face in frustration as he turned away from you, “just tired.”

“Jayce,” your voice softened, and it struck a nerve in him that he wished hadn’t.

“I said I’m fine. Can you just leave it?”

Your body stiffened as you watched him in stunned silence, searching his face for any understanding of what was going on behind those pained eyes. Was it the research? Had his big breakthrough fallen out of grasp? Maybe he needed a nice herbal tea and a nap.

The entirety of your mind reeled with ways to help him, anything to alleviate the weight of the world he seemingly carried on his shoulders–unaware of the emotional turmoil that chained him to the ground beneath him.

“Why are you lying to my face?” You stood your ground stubbornly, arms crossed firmly over your chest, “It’s okay to be tired, Jayce. You work too hard.”

“I’m not lying,” Jayce replied sharply, a mix of frustration and desperation bleeding together. One hand lingered along the railing, the other moving with the passion of his words that masked the truth, “Why would I lie to you? I just–” he scrambled to gather his thoughts.

The struggle was evident on his face, and you felt your own frustration boil over. It was far and few between that you both indulged in these confrontations, bickering like an old married couple until they exploded into fiery words that often ended in mumbled apologies.

“Why are you being so difficult?” Your tone was loud and sharp, “I’m just trying to help!”

“I didn’t ask for your help!”

The words stung your cheeks like a harsh winter storm. 

Jayce’s jaw clenched tight, emotions roiling under his skin,  “Do you want to know the truth?”

You watched him, noticing the storm that swirled in his eyes, “Jayce–”

“The truth is–” Jayce began, lips trembling as he pushed through, “the truth is that I’m so damn in love with you, that I don’t know what to do with myself,” he exclaimed, confession spilling from his lips as he pressed a hand to his chest, “It’s impossible to be around you because my heart breaks every time I have to watch you leave, knowing that I can’t be the one by your side,” he choked on his words, eyes glistening with unshed tears, “I’m so in love with you that it physically hurts. It’s unbearable, gods, it hurts so fucking much.”

Jayce’s chest heaved with each deep breath, his guts spilled out in front of you. Vulnerable and open–what he’d been avoiding for so long.

Your lips trembled. Moving, but unable to form any sentences. All you could do was look into those eyes that spoke more than his passionate ramblings.

Your heart swelled, chest tightening in the best way possible.

“Do you know how hard it is?” he mumbled, taking a step back, “I can’t stand this anymore. I can’t. I’m sorry–”

“No,” your hand shot out and latched to his wrist, fingers tightening against his skin and holding him back from leaving. Gold-specked eyes widened, staring at you with yearning, “You don’t get to leave me here, not like this.”

Jayce watched as tears brimmed in your eyes, a smile creeping onto your lips. Beaming under the evening sun and glowing so beautifully, as if you were both earthly and divine–transcending. You were too good for this world, too good for him.

“Don’t make me stay if I can’t have you,” he whispered, voice fragile as it broke like glass.

Then your lips were on his, a gentle touch that eased every worry that dared to destroy his mind with heartbreak. It planted a seed of hope deep in his heart, one that would blossom too quickly and strongly. All because it was you who did it, the one he’d longed for all these years.

“Then stay,” you murmured against his lips, answered only by strong arms wrapped tightly around your waist with no intention of letting you go.

[covenofagatha]

taking requests, angel? if so...

I saw some Kathryn gifs and an idea came to me: Agatha, after a long and exhausted working week, asks female reader to have a date, but the date is on their house because Agatha is too tired to go out. Reader is happy, tho, because her love language is quality time and physical contact. Something like a dinner, maybe, idk... so they end up having a very lovely time together, cuddling on the sofa until they fall asleep. Smut or not in the end, it's up to you... but I'd love to read something cute from you:( I don't know if that's okay...

if you're not taking requests, I totally understand that! I don't want to bother you.

- 🌙

Fun fact, this is my first time writing something that's not meant to build up to sexy times! Also the fluffiest thing I've ever written so hopefully it's good!

Home is where the heart is

A change of plans in your date night with Agatha leads to a confession.

Word count: 1200

Warnings: fluff, softness

Still on for dinner and a movie tonight? 

It’s the text you sent your girlfriend, Agatha, an hour ago and she still hasn’t responded. This usually isn’t like her, but you know how busy work can get. And you know how tough the last week had been on her, but you were really looking forward to spending this Friday night with her. 

The two of you had been dating for three months now and it always seemed like the older woman wanted to do something, whether it be going to a nice restaurant or mini-golfing or painting pottery. Like tonight, Agatha is supposed to take you to the newest spot in town that just opened up and then you were going to see Corpse Bride as it was playing again in theaters. 

You would never complain about any of this, but you’re a little worried that Agatha thinks that you need all of this to hang out with her. 

A text from Agatha buzzes finally. Doll, I’m so sorry. You frown and pick your phone up, afraid she’s going to cancel. I’m so exhausted from work, how would you feel just coming over tonight for something chill? I can order pizza. 

You breathe a sigh of relief and type back. I would love that! See you later. You almost finish the text with a ‘Love you’ but neither of you had said it yet and you were sure as hell not going to say it over the phone for the first time. 

You also weren’t sure how Agatha felt. She was older and you weren’t exactly sure what she saw in you. She was beautiful and confident and wealthy and could have anyone she wanted, and yet she chose you. 

A part of you deep down is perturbed that this is just a fling for her. It would crush you if that’s what it was. 

But you bury that insecurity somewhere dark inside you and you get ready for date night. 

Since you’re not doing anything special, you opt for a comfy purple sweater and black leggings. You do put on lacy underwear just in case Agatha’s in the mood, but you are totally content if not. 

You just want to spend time with your girlfriend. 

You get to her house right at six, which was when you were supposed to meet anyway, and you only have to wait a second after ringing the doorbell for Agatha to appear. 

“Hey, baby,” she says, stepping to the side so you can enter. She’s wearing sweatpants and a tank top, hair loose, but she’s never looked more beautiful. You press a cheek to her kiss and she hums happily and follows you into the kitchen. “Sorry to cancel our plans at the last minute, I’m just so tired.” 

“No worries at all,” you reassure her, opening the pizza box that’s already on the counter. It’s your favorite kind and you put two pieces on a plate and grab a beer. She does the same and leads you over to the couch where you sit on opposite sides facing each other. “Everything okay?” You ask once you’re both settled. 

She sighs dramatically and her head flops back against the couch. You laugh and nudge her with your foot. 

Agatha looks back at you, mirth sparkling in her eyes. “It was just a rough week, hon. Lots of people bothering me, asking stupid questions they should know the answers to, following up on emails that they haven’t responded to. And I had to work late those couple nights.”

You frown. “I’m sorry. You work so hard and no one seems to give you the credit you deserve.” You take a bite of your pizza and chew it thoughtfully, wondering what else you can say. You know she’s been really busy and you’ve hardly seen her at all this week. 

But she leans forward and pats your thigh. “But this has certainly helped.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “The pizza and beer?” You ask innocently, fishing for more. She rolls her eyes fondly, knowing how much validation you like. 

“And the company, hon. You’re pretty great, you know?” 

You smile and squirm with contentment. “You are too, Aggie. I’m always happy to just sit on your couch and talk. I just want to spend time with you, no matter what we’re doing.” 

She smiles gratefully. “Me too, baby. Now, how has your week been?” You launch into an animated retelling of something that happened at work and she hangs onto every word. It takes you a bit longer to tell the story in-between bites of your pizza, but her attention never wavers. 

It makes you feel so warm inside how Agatha always pays attention to what you’re saying. She makes you feel so seen and you couldn’t be more lucky to have her. 

Once you’re done talking and with the pizza, she puts on an episode of Modern Family, your comfort show. You lay between her legs, your back to her front, while she gently strokes your hair. You trace lazy circles on her thighs through her sweatpants and it’s absolutely perfect. 

She tilts your head to the side and angles hers so she’s able to kiss you softly. It’s just a press of her lips against yours at first, but it slowly becomes more and your mouth parts for her tongue. 

It’s not a needy kiss though, not a kiss meant to lead to something more, it’s a kiss full of adoration and longing and intimacy. 

“You’re so perfect, baby,” Agatha murmurs against your lips.

“Not as perfect as you,” you say back and you can feel her smile against your skin. 

She lets you go back to the show and wraps her arms around you. You can feel her deep breathing and you feel so safe and warm that you start to doze off. 

Right before sleep takes you though, you feel her nuzzle your temple and whisper into your ear: “I love you, baby.” 

Your heart leaps and you suddenly feel more awake than ever. You whirl around so fast that you almost fall off the couch. Agatha’s eyes are wide and you think you see fear in them. 

“Did you just–” You start. 

At the same time, Agatha says, “I’m so sorry–”

You both cut off at the same time. You smile wider than you ever have before and you move so you’re straddling her lap. You put your arms around her neck and rest your forehead against hers. 

“Agatha Harkness,” you say. Her eyebrows raise. “I love you, too.” 

She closes the distance between you and kisses you again, this time with more passion. You whine and try to pull her as close as you can, needing to feel her body against yours as much as you can. 

“Say it again,” she says and you smirk. 

“I-” You kiss her. “Love.” Another kiss. “You.” She grins and gives you a long kiss and it eventually sizzles out and the two of you are just holding each other, your chin on top of her shoulder. 

“I’m so glad I cancelled our other date,” Agatha muses and you chuckle, squeezing her tighter. “Stay here with me forever, love?” 

You promise that you will. 

And when you both wake up in the morning in that same position, she tells you that she loves you again.

You hope she never stops saying it, because you know that you never will.

[bg3daydream]

Breakfast (Lucanis x Rook fanfiction)

Lucanis x Female Rook one-shot.

Summary: Lucanis makes breakfast for Rook after they spend the nigth together once she's back from the Fade-prison, relieved to have her back but still worried about her. Short (2285 words) and sweet.

Lucanis woke up feeling rested for the first time in…he didn’t even know how long. That he'd been sleeping in Rook’s arms sure was the reason for it.

They were scrunched together on the couch in Rook’s room, with barely room to move, but for Lucanis it was perfect, with his head pillowed on Rook’s chest and her arms around him. Even Spite seemed to have calmed down, he hadn’t annoyed him once. His only regret was not having slept like that before that night, the distance he’d made himself keep for reasons that seemed important once but not anymore.

He was all too aware of how close he’d been to losing Rook. Since she’d been trapped in the Fade, Lucanis had been consumed not only by fear but also by guilt and regret. He’d let it happen, he hadn’t been quick enough, smart enough, and Rook had been taken from him. She had needed him and he had failed again.

He’d been searching non-stop for a way to get her back, even Spite had been agitated, driving him crazy, and he knew he had to be grateful for the team that they’d found a way to get Rook back.

After that, he’d known there was no way he’d let his fears and insecurities keep him from being truly Rook’s any longer. He’d kill the gods, the blight itself, anything that threatened Rook’s again, no matter what, he wouldn't fail her again, and he wouldn’t deny himself the comfort of her arms any longer.

Mindful not to wake her, Lucanis pulled back from Rook’s chest. She was still fast asleep, and Lucanis wondered if she’d slept at all those weeks she’d been trapped in the Fade, if she’d even needed it. 

She didn’t seem more tired than usual, neither did she seem hurt, but Rook hadn’t really elaborated on what had happened to her, and Lucanis hadn’t pushed her to tell him. She seemed more worried about what’d been happening while she was gone and how to fix it, and Lucanis knew it was important, but he wished Rook looked out for herself more. If she didn’t, then he’d be the one to watch over her and care for her.

Lucanis brushed his knuckles ever so softly over Rook’s cheek. He didn’t feel there was much he could offer her, besides his knives and his skills as an assassin, in which he felt he’d been failing abysmally.

It seemed Rook was going to sleep longer, and so, Lucanis decided to get up and get her breakfast. Feeding her was, at least, one thing he could do for Rook without failing her.

He carefully covered Rook with a blanket, pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, and got dressed quickly.

Walking out of the room and down the stairs, Lucanis found Emmrich already awake, sitting down on the armchair next to the coffee table, doing research, with a cup of steaming tea in front of him, while Manfred hovered near. Emmrich looked up from his papers to give Lucanis a tired smile.

“Good morning. How is she?” He asked as he glanced upstairs.

Lucanis sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know. Not bad I think, but she hasn’t told me much of what happened to her. She wants to focus on what we have to do now.”

“Understandable so,” Emmrich conceded. “I know everything we lost, everyone…and everything we have to fight now. But we got Rook back, enjoy that.”

“I plan to. Thank you, Emmrich.” Lucanis was aware of how, without the Fade expertise of Emmrich, he probably couldn’t have gotten Rock back to him.

Emmrich nodded graciously and went back to his papers.

“Manfred,” Lucanis addressed the skeleton, who hissed a yes. “If you see Rook getting up, you come running to find me before she can”

“Yes!”

Once in the kitchen, Lucanis tried to decide on what to do for breakfast. He didn’t want it to be something overly complicated or that would take too long, afraid that Rook might wake up before he was finished and find herself alone.

Finally, he settled for orlesian pancakes. 

The kitchen felt cold and abandoned. Lucanis had been in no mood for cooking during the last couple of weeks, his mind was desperately looking for ways to bring Rook back, when he was not mourning their potential loss and blaming himself, and having to deal with Spite’s own commentary and franticness.

Trying to ignore the nagging thoughts of their missing friends, everything that had gone wrong and could get worse soon, and the still lingering fear of losing Rook, Lucanis focused on making breakfast and on the thought of a sleeping Rook, back to him.

He cooked swiftly, and once everything was ready, he placed several servings on a trail and walked out of the kitchen and back to the main building.

Emmrich was still in the armchair, studying the papers, while Manfred stood as a lookout on the staircase, watching the door of Rook’s room. When he saw Lucanis, he hissed and did a thumb-up, and Lucanis couldn’t help his smile.

“Thank you, Manfred,” Lucanis said while placing a cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes on the table in front of Emmrich.

“Oh, thank you Lucanis,” Emmrich smiled at him over his papers. “This was most kind.”

Lucanis shrugged and made his way back to Rook’s room. She was still asleep. Lucanis placed the tray with the pancakes and coffee on the table and  knelt down next to the couch, looking at Rook. He reached to trail his fingers down her cheek, ever so softly.

“Doesn’t. Wake,” Spite said, unhelpful.

“She needs rest,” Lucanis muttered, trying not to let Spite’s agitation get to him.

“She. Is not. Waking up,” Spite insisted.

Lucanis never thought the demon could care for anyone, but there they were. Still, he didn’t need Spite putting more fears inside his mind and going frantic again, it wouldn’t help anyone.

“Rook’s tired, she’ll wake up when she’s rested enough,” he tried again, although Lucanis wasn’t very sure if he was convincing himself or the demon. “Go play with Manfred.”

“Pff.” Spite brisked. “He. Thinks. He Is. A mage. Now,” the demon pretty much ranted. “He. Thinks. He. Is. Better.”

“I doubt it,” Lucanis answered, but truly, what did he know…he just hoped Manfred didn’t decide to try and teach Spite magic now. “Go with Manfred or shut it and let Rook sleep.”

Spite didn’t say anything else, but Lucanis could feel his unhappiness.

He watched Rook’s face, caressing her cheek ever so gently again, trying not to entertain Spite’s thoughts of her not waking. There was no reason for that, she was just tired, even if she was in the Fade in her sleep, she was not trapped there any longer, it was just normal dreaming…right?

Lucanis’ heart had begun beating faster, Spite’s unease was growing too, and so he tried to stop that train of thought. Rook was back, she was alright, she was just resting…but if she didn’t wake up by herself soon, he’d wake her. 

Moving even closer, Lucanis leaned over Rook, still kneeling on the floor, until he could rest his head over her chest. He closed his eyes, listening to her heartbeat, feeling her chest rising and falling as she breathed, and he tried not to let worry and overthinking take hold of his mind.

Eventually, Lucanis felt the change in her breathing as she began to wake up, and relief washed over him. He pushed back to look at her as Rook’s eyes opened, and she gave him a drowsy smile that made something in his stomach flutter and twirl. She was there, she was awake, she was fine…and she was smiling at him, her sleep-lidded eyes looking at him so lovingly that it was hard to believe she was looking at him.

“Hey….” Rook reached to cup his face and Lucanis leaned into her touch. Her smile turned into a frown when she noticed he was on the floor. “Did I kick you off the couch? Shit, I���m sorry.”

“No, you didn’t,” Lucanis rushed to explain. “I was up already. I made you breakfast.”

There it was again, that soft smile and that love in her eyes, making Lucanis’ heart skip a beat. “Of course you did.” 

Rook’s voice was quiet, content, while her hand cupping his face caressed his cheek, and Lucanis turned his head to kiss her palm. Rook’s smile grew wider at that and she leaned to press a soft kiss to his lips. It was gentle, chaste, yet it made Lucanis feel like he might melt. 

Rook pulled back, reaching to take her shirt that somehow had ended up hanging from the back of the couch, and she put it on. Then, she reached as if to take her cup of coffee, but Lucanis was already handing it to her.

“Thanks,” she smiled again and reached to take his hand. “Come here.”

Lookanis got up from the floor and sat down on the couch next to Rook. Ignoring his own cup of coffee, he looked at her as she contently sipped hers while she looked at the fishes swimming in that odd aquarium. Lucanis had felt uneasy about that part of Rook’s room before, it reminded him of the Ossuary, but it didn’t anymore, not with Rook there next to him.

Rook caught him staring at her and gave him a small smile, leaning to kiss the side of his head. “I’m fine,” she reassured him. 

Lucanis wasn’t sure if it was true, but he didn’t want to push her. She’d be fine, though, he’d make sure of it.

Rook leaned to place the cup back on the tray and cut a piece of the pancakes, bringing it to her mouth. She closed her eyes with a delighted hum and Lucanis felt something in his belly stir at it.

“This is so good,” she said as she took another bite.

“I’m glad.” Lucanis was pretty confident in his cooking skills, more than in his assassin skills right now, but it was nice to have confirmation that Rook was enjoying her breakfast.

Rook looked at him over her shoulder. “Did you have something besides coffee?” she didn’t let him answer. “Of course you didn’t.”

She cut the rest of the pancakes in small, bite-size pieces, and leaned back on the sofa again, taking plate and fork with her. “Here.” She reached the fork with one of the pancake pieces towards Lucanis.

“It’s your breakfast.”

“It’s enough for us both and more…come on,” Rook insisted and Lucanis gave in, taking the bite that she was offering.

Lucanis wondered if it should have felt ridiculous, letting someone feed him pancakes, but it didn’t, he just felt content, loved even. He wondered when was the last time he’d felt like that, or if he’d even felt like that at all before.

He let Rook feed him another couple of bites before nudging her and reminding her to eat herself, and so she dug into the pancakes with appetite. “Seriously, Lucanis, these are so good,” she said between bites and he couldn’t stop how pleased it made him feel.

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d been hungry, maybe even starving. How hadn’t he thought of feeding her sooner, he shouldn’t have fallen asleep last night without making sure she was fed, no matter how warm and comfortable her arms had felt.

“Did you eat anything while you were…away?” Lucanis found himself asking.

He wasn’t sure how the Fade worked, how she could have survived those weeks without eating anything, if maybe she didn’t need it while in the Fade…

Rook shook her head and leaned over to place the plate of pancakes, with barely anything left, on the table, taking the cup of coffee instead and leaning back on the couch again with a sigh.

“I know it was weeks for you here but…for me…I don’t know,” she trailed off. “I don’t know how it works, but it felt…I don’t even know…eternal but static at the same time…” Rook shuddered and Lucanis leaned to place an arm around her, regretting to have asked. “I don’t want to think about it now.”

“Of course,” he whispered, pulling her close.

His wings popped out without him meaning to, wrapping around them. Lucanis’d be embarrassed about his lack of control of the wings sometimes, if it weren’t because Rook seemed to like them. He had to wonder if Taash was right when they told him he should get out the wings when he was with Rook, that she’d like it.

“Good morning, Spite,” Rook said, smiling.

“Rook,” the demon greeted, but Lucanis was thankful he didn’t try to control him, seeming content just being acknowledged.

Rook took another sip of the coffee and then offered the cup to Lucanis. He was about to refuse, that was her coffee, he had a cup for himself, but she was looking at him with that soft smile, those caring, loving eyes, in a way that made him feel as if his heart was growing in size, and he couldn’t refuse her, taking a sip of the coffee before giving her the cup back.

Rook leaned against him with a content sigh and Lucanis kissed the side of her head. 

There were gods to kill, people to help, a world to save, friends to avenge, they had to get at it soon but perhaps, perhaps it all could wait just a bit longer.

Perhaps they could stay like that, Lucanis’ arm and wings enveloping Rook, basking in each other, for a little bit, if only until they finished their coffee.

*

NA:

Both me and my Rook have fallen in love with this gentle, caring assassin and we want to hold him and protect him, but sometimes Rook needs to be taken care of too.

I think I want to write more for them.

If you liked the fic, please let me know in a comment, and as always, reblogs are more than welcome.

Excuse my English, it’s not my first language.

[fuck-customers]

context: i work in what basically amounts to a mall. we are usually scheduled alone, so if we have to leave the shop for any reason (i.e; to use the bathroom, take out the trash, etc.) we wait for the store to be empty and then put a little "back in 5 minutes!" sign on the front counter and just kinda hope no one steals anything. (I have submitted about this place before, but it's been a while since I've been offline. currently in the process of moving to my store's other location in town because this building is garbage for MANY other reasons besides this. (ex: I had to submit a complaint to OSHA a few weeks ago because we had a heat wave and it got up to 85 degrees in there - the chocolates and soft cheeses some other vendors sell were MELTING - and I'm not even in one of the restaurants, so I can only imagine how bad it was in the kitchens.))

the other night I was getting ready to close up shop and left (when there were no cutomers) for ~5 minutes to take out the trash and use the bathroom. when I got back, there was one person waiting to ask me a question, and a $20 bill tucked under the keyboard on the front counter. I was like ???? and the person who was waiting explained that someone else had wanted to buy one of our oven mitts, but hadn't wanted to wait, so they just took it and left cash. (I wish I could say this is the first time something like this has happened to me. The only difference is people usually do this with greeting cards.) this would have been fine, albeit annoying, except that we sell a lot of different oven mitts, all of which have different barcodes/inventory records, and they left NO indication of which oven mitt they took. 🙄

I helped the person who'd been waiting, and then asked the person at the shop across from me if they'd seen which oven mitt it was. They had a few guesses, and told me they'd tried to make the person who took the oven mitt wait, but they'd apparently been an asshole and had predictably refused. tried cross-referencing the oven mitts the other worker thought it might have been with our inventory records, trying to find one that was short, but it all checked out. I can't stay late to count all of our oven mitts to find the one (1) that's short, or I'll go over my hours for the day - not to mention I had dinner plans. so I kinda resigned myself to having to leave this for the morning shift, even though I hate doing that.

a couple of minutes after I start closing up, a different customer ducks behind my shop screen to talk to me. at first I was like ???? because we're CLOSED, but then they told me they'd seen the guy take the oven mitt and had taken a picture of them because they "fucking hate thieves" (fair, I work for a small business; don't steal from mom-and-pop stores). they showed me the picture and I was able to identify the oven mitt. thanked them profusely and rang it out properly after they left. I tried to find that person after I finished closing so I could at least give them the change that the oven mitt guy would've gotten if he'd just waited for me to come back, as a thank-you, but they must've already left. still, that guy was an absolute legend and I hope their coffee is warm and their pillows are cold 🙏

Posted by admin Rodney

[stellamarielu]

we shouldn't

declan o'hara x female reader

summary: you probably shouldn't be stealing glances at your best friend's dad. but you DEFINITELY shouldn't be sitting on a kitchen table with him between your legs.

content: nsfw, 18+, smutty smut smut smut, age gap, best friend's dad just hits different i'm sorry

author's note: i saw a comment that said declan definitely talks you through it and i couldn't agree more. so here we are!

-------------------------------------------------------

You sit stirring the cup of tea in front of you in an effort to keep your hands busy. You had found yourself in your best friend’s kitchen on a Saturday night only she wasn’t home. So instead of spending your evening with her, you were now having a cup of tea with her incredibly dreamy father. Although this was a scenario you had dreamt about, you hadn’t come over here expecting to see Declan.

You were here because Taggie had once marveled over the local produce available at the farmer’s market held in town so you grabbed some earlier that morning with the intention of dropping it at the Priory for her. You knew going into town was a bit of a drive for the O’hara’s and you lived a block away from the market, so it was an easy task for you. You showed up at her front door expecting to hand her a bag full of veggies and were instead met by her brutally handsome father.

You hadn’t lived in town long but from the second you and Taggie met there was an unspoken friendship solidified between the two of you. The bond was most likely due to the fact that you were both twenty-something year old girls in a town full of middle-aged married couples. Nonetheless you enjoyed each other’s company. She taught you how to bake blueberry muffins from scratch and you helped her take a step back from her responsibilities and let loose from time to time. It was a win-win. 

What Taggie didn’t know was that you and her father had been shamelessly flirting with each other for weeks. 

It started with stolen glances at Declan when he would walk around the house shirtless. His broad shoulders and hair covered chest had you in a trance, so much so that it took you a minute to notice when he caught you staring. Wearing a smug expression he threw you a quick wink before walking out of the room, his small chuckle echoed in the room in his absence and you knew you were fucked. 

Ever since that day the two of you shared many coy smirks, crude jokes and light brushes of the hands but nothing beyond that. You couldn’t deny how badly you wanted him. You knew it was wrong to think that way about your best friend’s dad. You knew it but you kept thinking about what he would be like in bed. God- you were such a bad friend. 

So now you were sitting in the kitchen of the Priory without Taggie. She had failed to mention that she had a job catering one of Valerie Jones’ parties tonight. Of course, when you realized she wasn’t home you offered to leave the groceries and head back home but Declan insisted on you staying for a cup of tea. You joined him in the kitchen watching his large hands fumble with mugs and tea bags and thinking about other places his rough hands would work well. Jesus you couldn’t even let the man perform a simple task without drooling over him. It would have been ridiculous if it weren’t for the way his lips turned up into a cheeky smile knowing you were watching his every move. The smug bastard knew the ways you thought about him and he relished in it.

“Taggie normally tells me when she has a gig.” You state still stirring your tea.

“This came up last minute” Declan stood at the kitchen counter sipping whiskey, he wasn’t much of a tea guy.

“Even I was surprised. She hasn’t been workin’ weekends as much since you’ve come into the picture” He finishes speaking taking another swig of his drink.

“You’ve somehow done the impossible task of getting’ that girl out of the house and enjoyin’ her life on Saturday nights. I’ll forever be grateful to you for that.” He raises his drink to you causing a small laugh to leave your lips.

“Yeah well, Taggie’s a good time. I don’t think you give her enough credit” You finally stop messing with the spoon in your hand and take a small sip of the tea in front of you.

“While that may be true, I think you help her come out of her shell. You’re just so-“ he stops and just stares at you for a moment like he’s trying to think of the word he wants to say. 

“lively.” He finally says.

you smile at the adjective. 

“And vibrant and captivating” He abruptly sets his glass on the countertop and begins slowly walking in your direction.

“You’re absolutely stunnin’, you know that?”

You feel your heart begin to race as he comes to stand in front of you. 

“I keep tryin’ to push away the way you make me feel.”

“But it’s impossible to ignore when I walk into a room and immediately feel your presence. So bright and mesmerizing.”

You feel frozen by his words. You’ve played out this exact moment in your head every single night but never imagined it would come to fruition. Now Declan is standing just inches away, the tension palpable.

“Not to mention you’re always fuckin' here.” He waves his hands gesturing to the massive home you’ve both found yourself alone in tonight. “Always around remindin’ me of what I can’t have” 

The words barely come out of his mouth before you’re on your feet slinging your arms around his neck and pulling him down to you. His lips crash onto yours and he wastes no time savoring the taste of your lips. His kiss is hungry and methodical, and you think you might melt. 

He breaks away for a split second,

“We shouldn’t” he says breathless but then his lips are back on yours in an instant, showing no signs of stopping. 

“Declan. Please” You practically beg him to keep kissing you.

It must be the way you say his name because he throws any restraint he previously had out the window. Picking you up and sitting you on the kitchen table in one swift movement.

His hands find their way up your skirt lightly gripping your thighs, his fingertips drawing lazy circles on your skin just inches away from where you really wanted him to touch you. 

He leans in close whispering coarsely in your ear

“I’ve dreamt about this.” 

The attention of his lips shifts from a soft whisper to a gentle kiss right below your ear. 

“Me too” you admit.

Your voice is breathless as he continues placing kisses down your neck every now and again nipping and suckling at the sensitive skin just beneath your jaw. 

“Tell me love, what is it you think about?” He says sending sweet vibrations into the crook of your neck.

“Do you think about me touchin’ ya?”

He runs his hands roughly up and down your thighs pushing your skirt up so that it’s bunched at your hips.

“Do you think about how good I could make you feel hmm?”

The words coming out of his mouth have you all but dripping between your thighs. His hands find the hem of your underwear, playing with the material between his fingertips he tugs them down your legs at a painfully slow pace. 

He pulls away so his gaze is on yours. Your foreheads meet as his hands find their way back to your thighs, carefully spreading them open just a bit more. 

“I think about it constantly” 

He takes his time trailing his fingertips up your inner thighs, so gently that the featherlight touch makes you shiver. The corner of his mouth curls into a smile knowing the effect he has on you. 

You almost squeal when you feel his pointer finger circling your entrance. He keeps it there, taunting you with anticipation.

“How your cunt would feel wrapped around my fingers” 

He lets his digit sink inside you with the slightest pressure. The gentleness of his touch contradicting his dirty words. 

Your eyes fall shut and you let out a soft moan of relief. 

The sound of pleasure causes him to add another finger. He curls them in just the right way making you grab at his forearm and whimper his name. He keeps playing at the spot that elicited such a strong response from you causing you to squirm in pleasure. 

“God you feel s’good. Your pretty little cunt squeezin’ my fingers like that. Can’t imagine how you’d feel on my cock”

You bite back a groan at his words. If he kept talking to you like this, you might cum in record time. 

He picks up the pace of his fingers, moving them at a deliciously perfect rhythm. You squeeze your eyes shut focusing on the pressure building in your abdomen. 

“Look at me love, I wanna see ya.” His voice is low and rough.

You open your eyes and it takes everything in you not to come undone at the sight. His curls falling in his face, his jaw slack, and his eyes clouded with lust.

“That’s it, s’pretty for me” 

You’re putty in his hands at this point, sitting on his kitchen table, legs spread wide, One of his hands on the back of your neck holding you steady the other inside of you. 

As if the carefully arched thrusts of his fingers weren’t enough to push you over the edge, he begins gliding his thumb over your clit. The added sensation makes your body jolt and you fight to keep your eyes open.  

His movements work together like a perfectly timed symphony and you find yourself reeling closer to the edge of ecstasy. You moan Declan’s name again, an indulgent praise, and he groans in response. You’re so close, the tension in your body is looking for release causing your thighs to clench around Declan. 

The fullness of his fingers inside of you and the constant attention on the bundle of nerves between your legs has you seeing stars. But it’s the filthy words he speaks to you that finally finish the job.

“Atta girl.”

“You’re doing s’good”

“Let go for me”

With those words you feel the tightness in your core come undone and let out one final drawn out sound of pleasure. You’re clenching and dripping and heaving and Declan is just staring. Forehead still resting on yours, breathing heavy, he softly smiles and places a gentle kiss on your lips. 

It takes a few moments for you to regain some sort of composure and then you finally speak,

“We’re fucked”

“We are so so so fucked, I can’t believe how fucked we are.” You allow your internal dialogue to spill out. 

Declan just chuckles darkly. 

“Perhaps we are.” He toys with your skirt still gathered at your hips.

“But if we’re goin’ down we might as well have a little more fun.” Chuckling through his words he picks you up off the table so your legs are wrapped around him and begins carrying you upstairs.

“If you thought I was done with ya love, you are sorely mistaken”  

[the-lazyyy-artist]

AAHHKKK SAAUURRR CUTE!! thanks for tagging me, Reap!! You're my Tumblr tag game dealer fr fr 🥺😘

how do you spend your free time?

Drawing. Just drawing. It's a constant craving of mine to just create and draw and play with colors and poses. Also, it's because drawing is my stress reliever after a long week. I get to return to my true self.

what are your hobbies and how did you get into them?

Drawing still 😭 y'all, I've been drawing since kindergarten. Started drawing digitally when I was 13, and never stopped ever since. I read a few pages of my book, that's why I take too long to finish it lmao. I love watching documentaries, especially when I'm drawing. Favorite genre of documentaries? True-crime. It's interesting, come on!

what book or movie left a lasting impression on you?

I wanna say The 5 People You Meet In Heaven, but truly? It's Eleanor & Park. It spoke to my soul, the way this YA novel touched my life in a way that I literally saw myself in both Eleanor AND Park. The innocence and curiosity of young love and discovering yourselves within each other and the reality of family lives and sense of self. UGH. It's an old book now on my shelf but I still read it over and over again because it makes me feel younger. Movie? 4 Sisters and A Wedding. This faken Filipino Comedy film spoke so much to me, especially with family dynamics. I saw my own family in it and it made me understand my own family. And it made me feel so grateful that my siblings and I are on good terms. So... Yeah.

what kind of music do you enjoy?

Pop, for real. Musicals too! If you ask me which of these genres hit me most or leave a lasting effect, it's the musicals. It's something about how the songs literally convey emotions of characters that you can relate to. The one I love the most is Hamilton's Wait For It, Amélie's Times Are Hard For Dreamers, and Epic: The Musical's Ruthlessness (don't ask).

who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

Atm, it's Shidou Ryusei (Blue Lock). Oof, I know I'm posting abt how hot this man is, but in a deeper way of liking him as a character, I admire his love for freedom. The way he expresses himself, styles himself, how he performs on the field, it exudes the way he loves it. He lives for it, and I like him so much for that. I adore him. All time? It's Joan of Arc (Clone High, specifically Season 1). I KIN HER. SHE'S ME. In a way. But she is literally the embodiment of me, her strengths and her weaknesses, her morals and her motivations. Just exclude the fact that she's head over heels for Abe bc ugh I hated that, but all of her? She's me fr fr.

Tagging: @nikonautic @biggestcharleskinnie @wabatle @atlas-atlantic @thebestsetter + anyone who wanna join!!

tag + q&a game ₊˚ෆ

hello! i thought it would be cute and exciting to do a tag game with all my mutuals to not only talk about themselves, but have fun! so here is my short little game:

alongside this picrew, share 5 things about yourself!

• how do you spend your free time? • what are your hobbies and how did you get into them? • what book or movie left a lasting impression on you? • what kind of music do you enjoy? • who is your favorite character (atm or all time) and why?

i will start first!

my name is rurumi and i enjoy spending my free time writing!

some of my hobbies (outside of writing) includes: drawing, building gundams and keyboards, and fashion! i got into most of them on a whim and became instantly hooked. aside from self-expression, being into fashion also helps with making friends in college because you always have something to talk about!

a book that left a lasting impression on me would have to be either kafka on the shore by haruki murakami or before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi. both stories have kept me up at night thinking a lot about the 'what ifs' in life.

i enjoy soul/r&b alongside anything of jrock influence, but i will basically listen to anything that sounds good. i am currently listening to 'so what' by lucy!

my favorite character at the moment is rin itoshi from blue lock because hes so ridiculously edgy, but at the same time i sympathize with him a lot. on the other hand, my favorite character of all time is suletta mecury from the witch from mercury series, she's an absolute ball of sunshine that i aspire to be.

tagging (+ no pressure) ₊˚ෆ

@kaiser1ns @naenaex0xx @shomatoriashi @choccorin @ryescapades

@rindreamery @soleillunne @kissxcore @rainswept @mitsvriii

[winchesterwild78]

An Unexpected Friendship pt 8

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, Jensen’s children

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: Fluff

A/N: This is a short story written in collaboration with @cheekygirl2309.

This chapter is just so much fluff. It’s sweeter than candy. Please enjoy. 

No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Written and edited fast-please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

The visit to the doctor went better than expected. He told Jensen he had 3 weeks tops left in the cast and he could return to work. He would however have to avoid stunts for about 2-3 months. Jensen was excited he could return sooner. 

“I need to call Kripke and let him know. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do my scenes if I can’t do my own stunts. It’s definitely going to take some getting used to.” 

I just nodded. I was excited for him, but a little sad I would have to say goodbye to him so soon. I took a deep breath, I knew I needed to be honest with him, but how could I after we just worked out one problem.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Jensen asked as he noticed my tense demeanor. “Yeah, just thinking about you leaving again. It worries me because I’m afraid you’re going to get hurt again.” 

Jensen touched my hand, “I know baby. I don’t want to leave you guys either, but I have to go back and finish filming.” “I know.” I whispered.

“Hey, the kids have summer break coming up soon, why don’t you guys fly out and stay with me for the rest of the filming. On my days off we can go on family adventures.” 

“Are you sure you want us there?” He took my hand firmly in his, “Absolutely. I want you and our babies there with me. I would have to be there for about two weeks before you guys come, but after that we can be together.” 

I smiled, “We’d love that, Jensen. So much.” “Good, then it’s settled, you and the kids will fly to Canada to be with me after they get finished for the summer.” 

A few minutes later we pulled up at home. I helped Jensen inside and he sat down on the couch. “Jens, do you need anything?” “Just you, baby.” He winked. I chuckled, “Later, Jens. I need to get the kids soon. I can’t be hot, sweaty and smelling like sex when I pick them up.” “Hmm, we could always shower again, that was fun.” 

Jensen let out a deep laugh, his head tilted back and his smile reaching his eyes. It had been a while since I’d heard that laugh. I leaned down and kissed his lips, “I promise baby, you can have me again later. Bed, shower, however you want.” 

“I’ll hold you to that darlin’.” I nodded and started to walk into the kitchen. 

As I got to the kitchen I heard Jensen’s phone ring. From the sound of the conversation it was Eric. “Yeah, doc said no stunts for a few months, but once the cast comes off I can be back at work. He said 3 weeks tops. Yeah, her and the kids are going to come up after the kids get out of school for the summer. That would be amazing, thank you! Yep, see you soon.” 

I walked back into the living room and found Jensen on his phone, looking intently at the screen. “Hey, Y/N, Eric is sending me some listings for some places near the studio. He thinks we can get in one of those instead of living in a hotel the whole time y’all are there.” “Oh wow, that would be amazing, Jensen.” 

He patted the seat next to him and showed me some of the listings on his phone. There were a few that neither one of us liked, there was one I saw I loved and Jensen didn’t, there was one Jensen loved but I didn’t. I let out a sigh, “I know we will find something perfect for us.” Jensen nodded. 

I kissed him softly, “Want to ride with me to get the kids?” I asked as he continued to look at his phone. “Yeah, that would be great.” He said not looking up from his phone. I noticed he was biting his lip and his brow was furrowed. “Jens, is everything okay? You look worried.” “What? Oh, no. Everything is fine. Sorry I was just reading over this new listing. It’s a bit further from the studio, almost an hour, but I really like it.” 

“Can I see it?” I asked softly. Jensen handed me his phone, it was the most beautiful home I’d seen. It had 6 bedrooms and 3 ½ baths, a large dining room, a huge fenced in yard, and it came furnished. “Jensen, it’s perfect.” Jensen smiled widely, “You really like it?” I nodded yes. “Want me to reach out about it?” “Yes! Let’s see if we can convince them to hold it for us for a few weeks.” “Y/N, this isn’t a rental, it’s for sale.” “Oh, okay, well we can keep looking.” 

Jensen grabbed my hand, “No, baby. I want to reach out about us buying it. If you’re okay with it.” “Wait, you want to buy a house?” “Yes, I want us to buy a house for when I’m filming so we have a place to stay as a family.”

My breath hitched, “Jensen that’s amazing. I don’t know what to say.” “Say yes.” He smiled. “Okay, yes!” Jensen stood up and wrapped his arms around me and kissed me deeply. “I’ll have my realtor reach out and see what we can do.”

“Great, now let’s go get our babies.” Jensen nodded and I helped him to the car. 

On the way to get the kids Jensen and I were smiling and thinking about the possibilities the house would bring for us. “Jens, I think the house is perfect, the kids are going to love it.” “Yeah, I can’t wait to spend time in the backyard with them, or sitting around that table with all of you, eating and talking, and I definitely can’t wait to spend some time with you in that bedroom.” He wiggled his eyebrows and I giggled. 

Later that evening the kids had been playing outside and when they came in they asked to talk to me. JJ walked up to me with the other kids in tow, “Mama Y/N, can we ask you something?” “Of course you guys can.” 

We sat down on the couch and the kids’ were quiet at first. “Guys, whatever it is, you can talk to me.” The kids exchanged a look then JJ spoke up, “We need help making something for daddy. Since he’s going back to work soon we want to make something for him to take with him.” 

“I think he would love that. What did you guys have in mind?” In unison the kids all said “a blanket.” “A blanket?” I asked. “Yes, a blanket with all of us on it. Not you mommy, but us.” Jazzy said. 

“Oh guys, I think that would be perfect for him. What pictures did you have in mind?” “We want the new ones on it. Can you help us get it?” JJ asked. “Of course I can. Come on, let’s go ahead and get it made.” I motioned to them to follow me. 

We went into the office and I opened my laptop. The kids all picked the picture of themselves and then they all agreed on the group pictures they wanted. I designed the blanket with the group pictures in the middle, and their individual pictures around it. They loved it, and they picked out the color of the trim, and the personalization, which read “Together forever, even when we’re apart.”

I ordered the blanket, “Okay guys it should be here in about a week.” The kids were excited and they all gave me a hug and said thank you. 

When we walked back downstairs Jensen looked at us with a smirk, “What was the super secret meeting about?” He chuckled. JJ looked at him and smiled, “Nothing daddy, just kid and mom stuff.” Jensen’s eyes shot to mine when JJ called me mom. I smiled at him, “Yeah, Jens, just kid and mom stuff.” The kids giggled and ran back outside to play. 

*Time Jump 1 week*

The blanket was delivered and I hid it in the guestroom until the kids got home. When they got home we went in and I showed them the blanket. They loved it and I helped them wrap it. “Mama Y/N, can you help us make a movie night with daddy? Just us and him. We want to give him the blanket and have a movie night before he goes back to work.” 

“Of course I can. Tell me what you need and I’ll go to the store and get it. I think daddy will love a movie night with his babies.” Jazzy looked up at me, her eyes wide. “Am I his baby too?” I took her in my arms, “Yes you are baby. He loves you so much.” She let out the breath she was holding and climbed down.

The kids gave me their list and I ran to the store. When I got home Jensen was up walking around doing his physical therapy. “Hey darlin’, what did you get at the store?” “Oh just something the kids asked me to pick up. Remember, super secret meetings.” I winked at him. 

He walked over to me and pulled me flush to him, “I love you so much, Y/N.” “I love you too, Jensen.” He pulled me close to his lips, I could feel his hot breath mixing with mine. I tried to lean in to kiss him but he pulled away, laughing. 

“That’s what you get for your “super secret meetings”.” “Oh you’re going to pay for that Mr. Ackles.” I said as I tried to pull him closer to me. “Oh am I Mrs. Ackles?” Jensen froze and I looked in astonishment. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, Y/N. Dee and I used to banter like that. I am so sorry.” I placed my hand on his chest, “Jensen, it’s okay. Besides, I’m not going to lie. I liked the sound of it.” “You did?” I nodded, “Of course I did. I honestly see marriage between us, don’t you?” 

Jensen pulled me back close to him, “Yeah I do.” Then he placed a soft kiss on my lips. 

My heart fluttered. I could honestly see myself married to him. I felt safe with him, protected. He was my home. Our children fit perfectly together and I loved the life we were creating together. 

Later that evening the kids distracted Jensen while I set up the living room for their movie night with dad. I ordered pizza and it was on the way. I was going to go shopping with Gen and Nichole and have a girls night out while the kids had their time with Jensen. 

I placed the gift on the couch, put out the snacks and popcorn, and when the pizza got there I placed it on the table with some plates and drinks. 

Gen and Nichole arrived so I walked to the playroom to tell Jensen I was leaving. That was the cue to the kids to help get him in the living room. 

“Daddy, since mama Y/N is going out with Auntie Gen and Auntie Nichole can we have a movie night with the pizza?” All four kids looked at Jensen with grins on their faces. He knew something was up. “Yeah, too bad mommy is going to miss it.” 

“Oh no. I guess I have to go try and have some fun with Aunt Gen and Aunt Nichole.” I teased. Jensen chuckled. 

When we got downstairs the kids were so excited. Jensen’s eyes widened when he saw the setup, “So this is what those super secret meetings were about, huh?” “Yep, daddy, sit down, we have something for you.” JJ said. 

Jensen took a seat on the couch and the wrapped package caught his attention. The kids all handed it to him and were smiling ear to ear, bouncing on their feet with excitement. “Want me to open it now?” “Yes!” The four of them squealed.

Jensen laughed. Gen, Nichole and I stood to the side and watched. My heart melted more and more with his interaction with the kids. I’d never met a man so amazing with his kids. He was incredible and his kids would grow up strong and loved because of him. 

Jensen opened the gift and I helped him open it up so he could see it. Tears pricked his eyes. “Wow guys, this is perfect. I love it. Thank you.” He pulled all the kids into a hug and kissed their heads. 

He looked at me and whispered “thank you”. I nodded and smiled. “Okay guys, enjoy your night with daddy. I love you guys.” I kissed everyone goodbye and left. As I got to the door I looked back and saw Jensen and the kids getting comfortable on the couch with their pizza. All snuggled near Jensen and under his new blanket. 

Gen touched my shoulder, “It’s so good seeing him happy again, thank you, Y/N.” “He makes us happy too, we’ve started talking about marriage too.” Gen and Nichole smiled. Nichole took my hand, “Honey I’m so happy for you guys.” 

“Okay, let’s go shopping and have some fun.” I said before the tears started to fall. 

When I got home the kids were already in bed and Jensen was sitting on the couch waiting for me. I quietly walked in, “Hey baby, did you have a good time?” Jensen’s voice broke the silence. “Yeah I did. Did you have a good time with the kiddos?” Jensen stood and walked over to me, “I did. It was just what I needed. Thank you sweetheart, for everything you did to help them pull this off. JJ told me it was their idea you just bought everything.” “She’s right. They designed the blanket, picked the pictures and the inscription. I just paid for it and ordered it. The movie, snacks and pizza was their idea too.” 

“Well, thank you for helping them. This was perfect. Oh, and I heard back from the realtor.” “Already? That was fast, what did they say?” “We got it! They accepted the offer?”

I stood stunned, “What? They already accepted the offer?” Jensen stepped closer, “Yes baby, they accepted the offer and are allowing us to take ownership next week. They knew we needed a place there for our family to stay when I’m working, so they wanted to make sure we had it sooner rather than later.” 

I threw my arms around Jensen, “Oh Jens, that’s exciting. We bought a house!” “Yes we did, darlin’, now let’s go to bed and celebrate.” I smiled, locked up the house as Jensen set the alarm. The two of us made our way to our bedroom where we celebrated our new home over the next few hours. 

As our celebration winded down, we were both satisfied and full of bliss. Jensen pulled me close to him, his arms wrapped around me. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “Good night, sweetheart, I love you.” “Good night, Jensen, I love you too.”

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[daughterofscotland]

Decisions and Bubble Baths

After months and months I finally managed to write a little snippet of a BuckTommy fix it fic recently... and today I finished it at almost 2k.

Go me! AO3 Link: Decisions and Bubble Baths

Pairing: BuckTommy

Tags: Light NON-SEXUAL BDSM, hopeful ending

Summary: After their break up, both Buck and Tommy realize that their dynamic outside of the bedroom has some long-term consequences. Eddie realizes they need some help to fix it.

***

Buck didn't know what to wear. He was supposed to get dressed for a dinner with the team - not like their old cook outs, since Bobby and Athena still hadn't found a new place (or build a new one, he wasn't sure), but at a restaurant. Eddie was going to pick him up, saying he didn't want to drink anyway, and Buck... Buck didn't know what to wear.

***

It's not like they had planned it, this dynamic between them. But on their sixth date Buck couldn't decide what to wear, almost making them late, and Tommy had confidently grabbed a pair of jeans, a shirt, and over-shirt, handed it to Buck, and said. "You're going to wear these." Buck hadn't argued, his head suddenly silent, as the decision was taken from him, and gotten dressed. They hadn't talked about it. But then it happened again, when Buck couldn't decide on what to order at a new ice cream shop. Tommy had simply turned to the girl behind the counter, ordered for them both, and Buck hadn't argued. And it happened again in the grocery store, when Buck couldn't decide on a wine. Then they talked about it. Tommy insisted on research (Buck might have had to blow him about it) about clear communication and boundaries. They had already played around in bed, had discovered early on that their kinks matched well. But "daddy" and "baby boy" were for sex. Neither of them wanted to move it out of the bedroom.

So Tommy became "sir" whenever Buck needed help to make a decision. A firm, grounding hand on his neck when he spiraled or got so excited about whatever he was talking about, he became faster and faster and couldn't stop himself. Buck was "sweetheart" whenever Tommy needed calm, needed to be worshiped, needed to be treated like he was precious. Buck always wanted Tommy to feel that way, but Tommy had trouble allowing himself the comfort. At some point, Tommy had created a virtual wardrobe for Buck, with clothes made from his actual wardrobe, for days he wasn't on shift. He planned outfits a month in advance, so Buck wouldn't be paralyzed by a decision while Tommy wasn't there. In return, Buck had put at least one moment of "treatment" a week into Tommy's calendar: a bubble bath, a massage, a special meal. It worked for them and made them happy.

But now it had been a month since Tommy had walked out of Buck's life, with no word since. He'd spent a month baking to try to not think about Tommy, to keep from calling him, had ignored the way he'd started to get jittery and always felt cold and restless, how he kept looking to his side to share a joke or a fact he learned, just to find the space next to him empty. And now the virtual wardrobe was empty. Buck had used the last pre-coordinated clothes and now he sat before his actual wardrobe, unable to choose a simple outfit.

This was how Eddie found him.

Eddie didn't know what kind of dynamic Buck and Tommy had going on - neither did he want to - but he knew there was something. Buck was... calmer. More thoughtful, less impulsive. He still talked a lot, but when they were out together, Eddie saw the way Tommy put his hand on Buck's neck when he got lost in his spirals, how he squeezed, and calmed Buck down that way. The first time Hen noticed Buck's clothing style had changed and Buck blushed and said "Tommy picked it out for me", Eddie knew he didn't just mean something like Tommy buying him clothes.

So after the breakup, when nothing changed too much - except the excessive baking - Eddie thought: Okay, it's fine, he'll be alright. Should he have played keep-away with his phone with Hen? Probably not. But he also didn't want Buck to get hurt again, and he thought not contacting Tommy would make it easier for him. But then something changed. Buck became more restless. A bit more unkempt. He kept looking to the side when he was talking and then he just trailed off, looking lost. It was like he was always somehow out of sync with himself. And then there was Tommy. Eddie messaged him after the break up, telling him he was an idiot, but he would still be Eddie's friend and better show up to their next basketball game. Eddie didn't mention the break up then. They didn't talk about Buck at all, actually. He noticed Tommy looked like he didn't sleep well, of course, and he didn't talk much - but Tommy was always a bit more quiet, so it wasn't too much of a change. But the few times Eddie visited him to work on the car, he noticed the garage getting kind of... cluttered. Dirty. And that was certainly unusual. So was Tommy shying away from every touch, and looking increasingly tense. And now here Buck was, sitting on his bed, staring at his wardrobe, a lost look in his eyes. Unable to choose clothing for himself.

Clearly, Eddie had underestimated something about their dynamic, and it needed to be fixed. He went to the balcony and even shut the door for good measure, before he called Tommy. Not that he expected Buck to hear anything from him even if he were to stand right next to him, but still.

"'lo?" "Shit, man, were you asleep? Sorry, I didn't think you'd be on shift." "No, no, it's fine," came Tommy's voice, gravely, and accompanied by a yawn. "I wasn't... just taking a nap..." "Okay, good, because this is important, and I need you to be awake." "What? What's going on?" Tommy sounded more alert immediately. "Look, man, I don't know what kind of stuff you and Buck got up to, but clearly your breakup has some long-lasting ramifications." Eddie listened to the way Tommy's breathing sped up, clearly worried if not panicked. "We're supposed to go to a restaurant with the team but he's up there, in his loft, almost catatonic, because he doesn't know what to wear. He literally can't choose his own clothes, man. How the fuck did that happen?" There was silence on the other end and Eddie felt himself getting angry. "I swear to god, Tommy, if you hang up on me -" "I am not," Tommy assured him, a slight wobble in his voice. "I'm not... I... god, I fucked up so badly." "Yeah, well, we all know that, mostly due to the pounds we have put on eating all of Buck's "I am not allowed to call him so I am baking" loaves. I know you aren't doing any better, either. So, whatever reason you had to break up, fine, you figure that out on your own time. But clearly this is about more than just your romantic relationship." "Yeah... yeah it's... it is," Tommy agreed, swallowing hard. "I don't... okay. I can... I think I can help, but you'll need to give Ev- Buck the phone, alright?" "Don't call him that, Tommy," Eddie said quietly. "I am pretty sure that makes it worse." "Yeah. Yeah, okay." "I'll put you on speaker and next to him on the bed. Then I will go back outside to the balcony, so give me a minute before you do whatever you want to do. I don't want to hear it."

***

"Evan? Evan, can you hear me?" Tommy. That was Tommy's voice, sounding tinny and far away. Buck blinked and looked around, his eyes falling on the phone next to him. "Tommy?" he asked, coughed and cleared his throat. Picking up the phone, he tried again. "Tommy?" "Not quite. Eddie told me you need some help?" And just like that, something in Buck calmed down. But at the same time he could feel his eyes starting to hurt from unshed tears. "I... Sir. Please. I, I don't... what do I wear?" There was a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the line but Tommy's voice was completely calm as he answered. "That's okay, Evan. I'll help you. Where are you going tonight?" Buck thought for a moment. "Uhm, a restaurant, with the team. Mongolian, I think." "Okay, that's good, Evan. Do you have those dark-washed jeans you bought in Anaheim?" Buck looked around and found them on the ground in front of his clothes. "Yeah, I do." "Alright. Those, with that royal blue shirt you bought two months ago. It's probably gonna be warm at the restaurant, so no need for an over-shirt, but wear your black jacket for the trip. And the black boots. Okay?" "Yeah. Yes, sir. I got it. Thank you." Buck was already getting dressed, having put the phone on the bed again. "Of course, I am glad I could help, Evan."

Buck swallowed. He... he was glad Tommy didn't call him Buck again, but his voice still sounded off. Not quite like himself. Buck took a deep breath. He never had switched this fast, but he needed to do this right now. "You really did help," he assured the other man. "But what about you? Do you need help, too, Tommy?" There was silence on the other end and Buck worried he had gone too far, that Tommy had hung up. But then there was a slightly wobbly sounding breath, a cracked voice answering him. "I... yes, I... I think I do, sweetheart." "Okay, Tommy," Buck said, sitting back down and putting the phone to his ear. "That's okay. Do you... do you still have my key?" "Yeah. Yes, I do. Sorry, I wanted to give it to Eddie, but I just couldn't -" "Hey, hey, don't worry about that, it's okay," Buck assured him. Tommy sounded a bit frantic, definitely not as calm as he'd been before. He was just as lost as Buck had been. "Why don't you come over here, hm? I still have those bath salts you like, and your bubble bath. Come here, take a nice long bath, and then take a nap in my bed until I come back. Okay? I won't be out too long. Or, if you want, I will stay home and wait for you." Another silence that was broken by an almost sob. "No, you... you go. Enjoy your dinner. I'll... I'll do what you said, sweetheart." "Yeah?" Buck asked, a small smile on his face. "You will be here when I come home, Tommy? And I can see what else you need?" "Yes, I will," Tommy assured him, his voice more steady now. "You won't be long?" "Three hours, tops," Buck promised him, already mapping the route in his head, how much time he would have to eat before he had to leave the restaurant again. "You'll be okay, baby." "Yeah. You, too, sweetheart. I promise."

Buck swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment. This wasn't a solution, just a temporary band-aid for both their pain. They would have to talk, really talk, to see where to go from here. But for now, he hung up the phone, shoved all his clothes in the closet, and went downstairs to prepare a few cookies and a piece of lemon loaf on a covered plate, with a glass of water, putting it in his bathroom for Tommy to enjoy during his bath. Eddie didn't interrupt him and only squeezed his shoulder once before they left, Buck leaving the light on before locking the door behind himself, so Tommy would be reminded that he was expected. That he was wanted. It would have to be enough for now.

[blindvogel]

I've played through Veilguard three times now and I've had this thing in my head since the first go around. I was not normal about Emmrich and Kamari before I really met them and now that I have, they do not leave my head. But before I can get into all the sweet and fluffy pieces that I usually love to write, I need to get the drama and heartbreak out of my system that was the third act of the game. We all know. It's the Argument, and the weeks after. So. First part. Kamari.

~~~

Its shape the absence of you (Part 1)

She had thought it would be a conversation of affirmations and reassurance when she sought out Emmrich the evening before their mission on Tearstone Island. She never thought it would be this. 

Kamari can tell he is worried, scared even - he’s never been good at truly hiding his emotions from her. Yet it is not a fear of the now, the coming day. He’s scared of hurting her in the future, some nebulous time some decades away should they make it out alive and off the island. 

And his words - he’s always so careful with them, chooses them wisely. And what he says to her now- 

“Even under the best circumstances, you will outlive me, Kamari. I care for you. Deeply. But- there are such years between us, I shouldn’t heap you with that burden.” 

It’s a stab right into her heart. Does he truly mean to end things between them or is it just his fear speaking, finding a new way to worm itself into torturing him? And her. 

“You’re breaking my heart by worrying.” She can only respond with honesty, with her feelings laid bare before him. 

And he sees them. She knows he does when he looks away and his voice softens around the familiar endearment.

“Darling, I didn’t…” He trails off, does not finish the thought. 

For a moment she thinks Emmrich will relent, will not push this further. Except he doesn’t. Kamari can see it as his posture changes, his body turns away from her as he looks back at her. Determined.

“I only wish to be fair to you,” he says but there is no fairness in fear.

Still, she tries to soothe, to reassure him despite her own fear rising up her throat. She cares too much for him to just give in.

“I know what I’m getting into.”

It’s not what he wants to hear, or can at this point perhaps. And Kamari would never have thought to what depths Emmrich could sink when all he had shown her before was kindness and affection. Couldn’t have imagined that he could look down at her like he does now, so dismissively.

“At your age?” 

It’s a slap in her face and it hurts, yet still she persists. She does not want to argue.

“Don’t start,” she cautions, yet even her own body does not listen as her back straightens and her muscles tense.

And neither does Emmrich as he continues to insist, his voice raised. 

“We must consider this!”

A last attempt, her hand reaching out palm up, placating, almost pleading, voice soft.

“You’re overthinking it, and it’s not the time.”

It’s as if he isn’t listening to her at all, as if he doesn’t want to or can hear anything she’s said since she came into his room. Cannot back down from the path of escalation he’s set himself on.

“One of us needs to consider my mortality!” There is real anger in his voice, brows knit together, an arrogance in his posture as he towers over her that snaps something inside Kamari.

She doesn’t raise her voice but her own pain and anger feel like glass shards in her mouth as she rises to the bait.

“Because you’re worried about me, or insecure about you?”

And it hits its mark. 

Shock and hurt is written all across Emmrich’s face even as he averts his eyes from her, his shoulders sinking as the fight goes out of him. She immediately regrets this, never wanted to see him hurt or be the one to cause him pain. Her instinct screams at her to take it all back, to apologize. Her mouth complies before it catches up with her other feelings.

“Look I…,” she starts but then cannot bring herself to finish it. He’s hurt her deeply. It is too much for now, for what little time there is left. “.. let’s pack. Eve before we face a god, right?” She finishes instead, her body half-turning to leave. 

It’s not what either of them want, staying in this hurtful limbo, but there are too many emotions and too little time to fix it.

“As you say,” he agrees, his head sinking and unable to look at her when she can no longer conceal the extent of her own pain from her face. Kamari leaves quickly before he can see her cry. 

And it’s a blessing that her own room is so close so that nobody else sees her tears. 

Packing and readying her gear she can almost do by rote and she isn’t sure if that is a blessing or a curse. It leaves most of her mind free to circle and spin, replay that conversation in her head over and over and over. 

Had Emmrich truly so little faith in her feelings for him, had he thought them so shallow that she hadn’t even considered a life with him beyond the now and what that would mean? Had it been just his own fear and insecurity talking as she had thrown into his face? Something in between? The knife in her heart twists sharply, leaving her sitting on the floor with trembling hands. 

It continues to twist her heart into a painful knot as she attempts sleep and finds very little. 

The heavy eye makeup she applies the next morning does little to hide the redness of her puffy eyes but nobody remarks on it. They are all dealing with their own emotions and as long as her voice does not waver, as long as her thoughts remain focused on the task at hand and her eyes on the path before her then it does not matter. There is no room for anything else. 

They discuss the best approach, discuss splitting the team so that one half can distract the Antaam army while the other is guaranteed an approach to where the gods are working on the dagger. Kamari agrees with Harding’s suggestion to lead the other team - she trusts her friend to get them through safely. Who better to do this than a scout with the Stone on her side and Neve, Bellara and Taash to watch her back. 

Keeping Emmrich with her is a selfish choice and she knows it. They have not spoken since yesterday and the weight of what was said and what has been left unsaid hangs heavy between them. But Kamari knows that she will feel better if she knows where he is, if she can at least make sure herself that he is not harmed. It’s the best she can do to get through this and focus.

There are enough obstacles in their way to keep her attention. 

So she isn’t prepared when Emmrich catches up to her side in a rare calm moment, Davrin and Lucanis just enough ahead of them in a semblance of privacy. 

“Kamari?” A pause, almost not noticeable before he adds, “Darling? I wanted to say-”

She interrupts him gently. “Yeah. About that argument…” She can not have this now, can not give him the attention that this would rightfully deserve. But the familiar endearment soothes nonetheless.

Emmrich sighs, understanding what she implies. “It’s no time to apologize, is it?”

“We’ll talk back home, Emmrich. I promise.” 

She does not keep her promise. She does not get to go home.

After Lucanis succeeds in striking down Ghilan’nain, after Harding sacrificing herself to give him that shot, after losing Bellara to Elgar’nan - after all this, Solas’ betrayal costs her that promise. Ripped into the Fade, shackled and weighed down by her regrets, she plummets into the Fade prison in his stead. 

The voices of her friends, team mates, her love, are deafening in her head, cursing and blaming her for her failures. And she lets them. She deserves it. 

She made the call that got Bellara captured, perhaps killed. 

She agreed to Harding’s plan, was not quick enough, not clever enough to do something before she chose to sacrifice herself. 

She hurt Emmrich. 

She… she could not save Varric. 

That realization, that memory resurfacing has her remain motionless after she slams into the ground.

Kamari doesn’t know how long she simply lays there. Time seems to have little meaning where she is and she has no presence of mind to think about it. She can only feel the weight of the pain and grief, the weight of her guilt pressing her down. Can barely breathe.

Then the tears come and soon sobs shake her entire body until finally exhaustion drags her into unconsciousness. 

Eventually, she wakes. Manages to struggle to her feet to aimlessly wander the greyscale world of her prison. Solas’s prison, and she his substitute. 

It takes her longer still to form thoughts that are not made of self-recrimination, that are not voices in her head telling her it was her fault. 

The first thought that floats to the surface is an observation. That she feels no hunger, that her body exists in this realm as if set in stasis. It is followed by another thought, a logical conclusion. If her body is in stasis, then she can not die. A third thought, now clawing at her so sharply that the apathy crumbles away under the fresh pain and fear - if she cannot die, then she will be stuck here forever. And she knows this to be true. She is a Watcher.

She cannot stay. She is a Watcher. There has to be a way.

Her steps become determined, her aimless wandering turns into a search. But there is nothing, just the flat grey cobblestones underneath her feet and floating statues of her tyrannical would-be gods above her. 

She is alone, with only her regrets for company. 

So she talks to them out loud so that she can hear her own voice echoing in the space and know the voices answering are in her head by the contrast. Bellara, calm yet reproachful. Harding, soft and gentle despite the bitterness of her words. They speak, they argue for what feels like an eternity, Kamari softly begging for forgiveness until she finally realizes she is asking this from herself. 

Until there are Bellara’s words in her head, a memory from what feels now so long ago. “Until it feels like I deserve it.” 

Does she? Is there even something to forgive aside from her own guilt and regret? 

They knew the risks, they made their choices. And she had to live with that even if it hurt. It does. It will. Hope is not yet lost if they can save Bellara. And she cannot help from in here, stuck pondering what-ifs. 

She is a Watcher, there has to be a way.

“The Fade always provides a way forward.” Emmrich’s reassuring voice, his words when Johanna had sealed them in. She needs to get back to him, to make things right and have that conversation. To hold him and not let go until that gnawing fear subsides. Not a regret, a promise.

“You’ve got it, kid.” 

Varric. 

The thought, the memory steals her breath. He had been dead the entire time and she… every time she doubted, every time she faltered and sought out his advice… she had been talking to herself. And a small part of her, a quiet voice she did not want to listen to, it had always known. But she could not face it then, gladly allowed herself to be fooled by Solas’ curse, his words because she could not take the truth. Then.

Now? 

Grief has not dulled its claws but they were no longer buried so deep that she could not take the pain. He had tried to save his friend his way, and perhaps he had failed… but only if she would give up too. Only if she could not accept it and stop looking for a way forward, a way out.

“The Fade always provides.”

Kamari closes her eyes, focuses on Emmrich’s voice even if it is only in her memory. Hope. She has to hold on to hope.

The ground beneath her shakes, her eyes sting with a sudden brightness and as she opens them she sees it right above her, a distant sun and a steep climb. But she can do this. Her family is waiting.

[the-californicationist]

I need like sweet, domestic Alex like coming home from deployment or something and reader doting on him (per our recent discussion, does she give him a nice massage bc of his poor aching leg) before he's just so desperate and pent up he goes full filthy down bad for his sweet thing at home. disrespect me alex please, then go right back to snuggles i BEG

Pingu… lol bestie. Idk what happened. Something something “disrespect me alex keller”… um…

TW: throat fucking, degradation, slut shaming, gender neutral reader, pet names: baby, babydoll, pretty thing

— MDNI —

Three Wishes

—

When his deployment ended, Alex Keller told you he had three wishes: a greasy cheeseburger, a deep tissue massage, and your pretty mouth on his cock. He was working on the burger as you watched him, busying yourself by kneading his quad muscles with your hands. You were staring as the blue glow from the TV danced across his tired face, bathing him in a desaturated light. Your palms and fingers worked their way along his sore thighs, rubbing them with his trusty Biofreeze pain gel, trying to ease his strained limbs.

The prosthetic he wore for work lay discarded in the corner, still caked with sand and mud and memories of a grueling tour. If his return home was anything like his last, he’d leave it there for weeks, seemingly out of spite, much preferring to use his forearm cane to semi-gracefully amble from the couch to the kitchen to the bed and back again, moving more like an acrobat than a soldier, leaning and pulling on countertops and reinforced handles to make his way around his home. It never stopped surprising you with how quickly he could cross a room without any walking aids at all, much preferring to use his body without the augmentations.

You’d been there for him when he lost the leg. At the time, you and his mom had been way more concerned about blood clots from the injury rather than the amputation itself. It wasn’t until he was about to be discharged and you were left with an endless stream of leg-limb-cane-chair options that made your head spin. But, Alex didn’t seem to mind. He had turned his nose up at the chair, immediately deciding that if he wasn’t walking out of there on his own, he didn’t want to walk out of there at all. The doctors all hemmed and hawed, but you and Mrs. Keller stood firm. You supported him, and he made it through with flying colors.

When they’d welcomed him back to SAC, you were shocked. You’d expected him to get his Purple Heart and be left out in the cold. Since when had Uncle Sam ever wanted to put his “broken” toys back on the playing field? Hell, most veterans had to jump through more hoops than a circus poodle just to get baseline healthcare. But, Alex wouldn’t be denied. He was too good, and he made sure no one ever considered anything about him as broken. In fact, his recovery had given him extra time at the range, in the gym, and in the tactical office, honing his skills to a razor-fine edge. Alex was twice the soldier now, and you were proud of how far he’d come.

But, that didn’t mean it was easy. His work took a toll on his body, more so than his squadmates’. He’d be in pain for weeks, and you’d watch his face twist and bend in agony. It almost felt like he would only get back to normal right before it was time to deploy again. But, that was the price he paid. He kept the world safe, and he used himself as the shield, protecting you and everyone else from unimaginable evils.

You loved watching him tear into this messy burger. The juice and sauce was dripping down his hands, and there was a smear of something warm and gooey trapped in the corner of his mouth and his overgrown mustache, ready for a long tongue to swipe it away. Still, you waited patiently for him to finish. You were just as eager for the third wish as he was, judging by the obvious erection straining against his gym shorts.

Pausing your ministrations, you cleared his food away and washed your hands. You made your way back over to the couch and knelt between his legs,

“Mm, goddamn,” Alex sighed, wiping his mouth and hands with the napkin as he finished off his meal, “That hit the fuckin’ spot.”

“You ready for your last wish to come true, Lex?” You purred, digging your hands into the band of his shorts and peeling them down over his throbbing erection.

“You’re too good to me, baby,” his voice deepened as he watched you reveal his length, bending over him to suckle the shining precome from his head, “Mmf-fuck! I love comin’ home.”

You tried to take more of him, but he was impossibly hard, and your throat protested against his invasion. Gagging yourself, you choked, pulling away to catch a breath before going right back to suckle his cock.

“Tha’s it. Lemme help you, babydoll,” Alex purred, placing a firm palm on your head and shoving you down onto him, working you past your deepest point, showing you how much further you could go with his help.

“I dreamt of this fuckin’ moment,” he confessed, “This exact one. The one with your mouth full of me like this, droolin’ on me like this, suckin’ me like this… holy fuck!”

In a flash, both of his hands were on your head, shoving you down so much further onto his hard length, making your throat ache and burn.

You loved it, feeling your own pleasure building between your legs. His roughness made your mind go blank; you melted into his dumb little slut, shamelessly humping into your own hand as your brain begged for breath.

A hard fist pulled you off of him, and you gasped, rasping and wet, your shining drool swirling and pooling from your mouth, raining down onto his red, swollen prick.

“There you are,” Alex smiled, “Eyes on me, baby. Don’t look away.”

As he lowered you back onto his hard length, you obeyed, gazing up at him despite your audible struggling, the pressure and tightness in your throat making you want to wrench your eyes shut. But you didn’t. You were a good hole for him; you’d show him how much you missed him.

He moved your head up and down without your help. You were just along for the ride, breathing when you could, coughing and jerking when your body struggled to obey.

“This mouth… holy hell. Gonna make me come, baby.” Then, he noticed your hand writhing beneath you, playing with yourself as you sucked him off, “You touchin’ yourself? Oh, fuck. Fuck, that’s hot.”

He began to fuck your throat in earnest, picking up his pace, leaning his head back on the couch in ecstasy. You reached up with your free hand and lifted your shirt over your chest, pinching and plucking at your nipples, edging yourself right up to an orgasm, ignoring how lurid the gurgling noises that your throat was making sounded in the quiet living room.

“You better get that filthy hole ready for me, babydoll. Your mouth is so damn good, but this load isn’t goin’ in your tummy,” he saw your eyes widen and he chuckled, “Nuh-uh. I am gonna fuck you until you’re too hoarse to scream my name.”

You couldn’t help but moan, your eyes flashing white, rolling back into your head.

“Hey!” That same tight fist shook you at your nape, shocking you back into submission, “Give me those eyes, baby. Such a pretty little slut. So good for me.”

Then, he rewarded you by holding you down to his base, scooting to the edge of the couch so that he could shove his cock all the way down your neck, using his free hand to rub your throat on the outside, squeezing the sides to feel himself as he filled your writhing, choking body.

“Does my baby want to breathe? Givin’ up already?”

You tried to shake your head no, looking at him with tears rolling down your cheeks. You were no quitter. You’d black the fuck out before you let him think you needed mercy.

“No?” He seemed pleased, moaning as he grinded himself deep inside of you, moving your face back and forth to steep himself in his optimal pleasure, giving you brief gasps of sloppy air as he did. “So proud of you, baby. Doin’ so well. Now… Swallow me, babydoll. Mmf-fuck! Yeah, just like that. Holy fuck.”

You swallowed around him, closing your throat across his cockhead over and over, feeling the soft fleshy tip squish and squeeze in the bottom of your throat, twitching at the root of your tongue. You tried to find a rhythm, swallowing in pulsating waves. Above you, Alex was coming undone, trembling and growling like an animal, barely hanging onto his sanity.

Suddenly, he ripped himself out of you in a wet, messy stroke. You leaned into his grip, lolling out your tongue, knowing that he had lost at his own edging game. Sure enough, he began to spray hot, sticky ropes of come across your nose and mouth, covering your face in his orgasm, coating you in his mark.

He was shouting loud enough to fill the room, and he just kept coming, his body twisting and bending in mindless sexual fury. You leaned forward to seal your mouth over his head, milking him of his heavy load, sucking down his essence like it would sustain you.

“Oh, fuck!” He lamented, watching you clean his dick with your tongue, wearing his cream like a badge of honor, “C’mere, baby. Open wide.”

You opened your mouth up for him, sticking your messy tongue out as far as it would go. He grabbed your chin and began to use his other hand to swipe his load into your lips, smearing his come down your nose and across your cheeks to scoop it onto your tongue, making sure you didn’t waste a drop.

You remained stock still, feeling his seed slipping down your throat and into your belly, but you kept your tongue out, showing him you were still his obedient cockslut.

“I hope you’re ready for me, baby, ‘cause I’m still hard. Did you get that hole nice and warm for me?”

“Yes, sir,” you smiled, pleased to play your part.

“Show me,” he smiled back - all devil, no angel.

You did as you were told, turning around, leaning your chest to the ground, and peeling your underwear down your thighs to show him his prize.

His hand spread your ass cheeks apart, and you felt him spit across your flesh, chuckling with an exciting cruelty as he spread his spit around with his thumb,

“Oh, fuck. There it is. I’m gonna pump you so full of come you’ll be drippin’ for days and days and days...”

[itmeansiris]

The Solar System Legacy Challenge: Errands Gen 1 pt.88

Wednesday afternoon, the Gratz were in the supermarket picking up last-minute items for Harvestfest. The week began with a tragedy, but everyone agreed, including Kiersten, that gathering for the family-oriented holiday was what they all needed. Even if it only provided a small distraction for the kids.

Kason and Mercury sat the triplets down the evening of the fire to explain what happened to Rufus. Venus and Ishtar immediately asked if they could check on Tucker. Tucker stayed over that night, and returned home the next morning to visit the hospital with his mom and little brother. The duo plus M and Beckett had done their best to keep his mind occupied, but from time to time he would excuse himself and they would hear him sobbing softly in the bathroom.

M: How is Rufus?

She asked quietly.

Kason: They were able to stop the Epidural bleed. The decompression surgery worked but he’s on a ventilator. The smoke inhalation was bad, he still needs assistance breathing.

M: Did you see Kiersten while you were there?

His expression was solemn.

Kason: I saw her speaking to Rufus's doctor in the hallway, but when she saw me she took off. Okay, everyone out of the cart.

Triplets: Aww man, come on dad!

The kids vocalized their complaints but climbed out. Kason had been to the hospital multiple times since Rufus was admitted, but he wasn't sure if his presence was welcomed.

Aphrodite: Can I have a snack, Dad?

Kason: Sure, find something for everyone and get something for Zoh and Malachi. Take your brother with you!

He called out to her as she took off before he could finish. Ishtar ran after her.

Ishtar: Don't worry Dad, I'll catch up!

They watched to make sure he reached her before M turned her attention back to Kason while pushing the cart.

M: I know what you're thinking, but don't. She's scared and stressed out. It's a sensitive situation and it couldn't have come at a worse time.

Kason: I can see it in her eyes whenever she actually looks at me, she blames me and who am I to argue with that? I'm the one that sent them both down there. She’ll probably never speak to me ever again. Maybe you should go over there again and make sure she’s okay. I'm sure it's just me she's avoiding.

It had been two days since the fire and the situation had grown more tense. When Kason arrived at the hospital and Rufus was suddenly wheeled away for the emergency surgery, Kiersten broke down and revealed she was expecting. The sweet moment was ruined and made worse by the fact that she hadn't gotten to tell Rufus first and now wasn't sure If she would ever get the chance to.

M: She dyed her hair the same shade as Rufus. It has me kind of worried, that seems like such a drastic change overnight. I'll take Mom with me and make sure she's still coming over for Harvestfest tomorrow.

Kason: I wouldn't mind skipping it for once.

M: I’m sorry my love. Between your mom and now Rufus, Harvestfest continues to fall lower and lower on your list of favorite holidays.

Kason raked a hand through his hair while sighing heavily. He rolled back his shoulders and straightened his spine trying to look less defeated than he felt.

Kason: No, I’m sorry M. Your right, I just have a lot on my mind, but I'll try and be more present. It's our holiday too.

He pulled her close and she welcomed his touch trying to soothe some of his unease, but she could feel the tension in his muscles. He was wand so tight she was worried he would eventually break under the pressure.

Kason: I just can't shake the feeling that Paris was behind the fire. That servo was in good condition. It needed minor repairs and an updated code. If she supposedly didn't touch anything, what the hell happened in there?

He had been bouncing that question around since he'd arrived at the hospital. The first night it was all he talked about. The fire marshall and police assured him they would do a thorough investigation, and Greg had the security team ready to scour the surveillance footage from Servo Hold 2 once they were allowed to access the servers. They were located in the basement where the fire had started. Though they hadn't suffered any damage, no one was allowed down there for the time being.

M: Have you heard anything from the marshalls?

Kason: They haven't finished their investigation yet. They are still assessing the structural damage before anyone is allowed back in the area. Once that’s clear they will start checking for faulty wiring and foul play.

M: Well at least no one else was hurt, and with the cameras, if she did have anything to do with it, there’s no way she won’t get caught. Have you heard anything from her since you fired her?

Kason: No. Greg had the tech department deactivate her logins, email, and access to the building. We're mailing her final check to the last address we have on file, but no one has seen or heard from her since her little episode.

His tone held hope that it was the end of Paris but his brow was creased with concern. M just wanted him to relax, he’d been on autopilot and he was bound to run out of gas if he continued like this.

M: One less thing for you to be worried about. Let's finish the grocery shopping, pick up Tucker and Malachi on the way home, and just try and enjoy the night. You've had a stressful 48 hours my love.

They resumed the shopping putting an end to the heavy discussion, trying to enjoy the rest of the family errand.

Kason: I'll go grab paper towel.

He veered off into an aisle, Dite and Ishtar followed closely behind him, leaving M and Venus with the cart. Venus tugged on the sleeve of her mom’s jacket.

Venus: Mom, can we make snores after dinner? They're Tucker's favorite.

M smiled warmly. It was soul-stirring to see Venus caring for her friend, considering her normally spoiled attitude. The pair had grown close since she started school, even though Tucker was a year older and a grade above.

M: That sounds like a plan. We have graham crackers at home so let’s get chocolate and marshmallows before your dad comes back.

They left the cart and went to quickly collect the short list of ingredients. Venus went straight for the marshmallows while M turned to locate the chocolate when she found the sale sign for s’mores kits

M: V don’t get the marshmallows. They have kits tha-

Previous Next

Beginning

Sidebar: Kiersten showed up with her hair that color. Her hair is normally a very light brown, and I didn't want to shoot it over after editing her hair color. Honestly, it was the least of my worries, considering what she's going through, and people dye their hair in stressful situations, so it seemed fitting.

Poses: Don't ever touch me" by Elen shine CC: The vase in the last photo is from @elen-shine "Dont ever touch me" pose pack Budgie Foods store stuff Shopping decor sims (StarryxLazy) Build: Srslysims Greenfield Grocery by @srslysims

[fluffy-sekhmet]

About my NanamixReader Fanfic...

Hello, lovely people of Tumblr!

As I've worked on the fanfic I've been planning to share with you this week I realized the story I want to tell is more extensive than I had originally planned. So far I'm at 1k words and have covered around a quarter of the story. I wanted to post something small (around 1k words) as I didn't want to overwhelm myself with a big project since this is my first time writing fanfiction, but now that that's not the case anymore I thought of two options:

1) Finish writing the fanfic as planned, post the monstrosity over the weekend, and work on my next fanfic once I'm done with finals. I'll probably do some shitposting and post a X-Mas fanfic on the 24th.

2) Divide the fanfic into parts, finish working on part one, and post it on Thanksgiving or Friday. Work on finishing the rest little by little, posting a new part weekly, and then work on a X-Mas fanfic for the 24th after finals.

So yeah, let me know which one you prefer! Sekhmet out.

[muniimyg]

𐙚₊˚⊹ lawstudent!jimin ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹

series m.list // taglist

friends to lovers / post break-up (oc is going thru a break-up)

uni au (law students)

fluff

//

it feels like jin has been yapping in your ear forever. if not forever, at least a good 15 minutes has passed since this horrific mock trial finished. you’re still here—taking his shit. 

truth be told, it isn’t really shit. he’s not trying to be mean, he’s being himself—critical in the most gentle way possible. but on days like today, it’s difficult for you to differentiate the gentleness and criticism in his words. 

“___, what i’m saying is… next time, if you’re going to wing it—commit to it. it was too obvious,” jin sighs, watching as you stuff your papers into your bag. “jimin had you cornered by the second argument. prep more, and you’ll do fine for the next one—”

“right,” you mumble. “noted. got it. thanks jin. sorry about today.”

you force a tight smile. jin looks at you, not buying it… but he nods and heads off, leaving you alone in the empty classroom.

except, you’re not alone. 

“it’s no fun if you suck, you know.”

you glance up to see jimin leaning casually against one of the desks. he’s loosening his tie as he approaches you. there’s a smug expression on his face, yet there’s a softness in the way he looks at you.

“not in the mood,” you huff, going back to packing and not bothering to spend another second looking at him. “everyone knows it was an off day for me. i’ll be more fun for you next week.”

jimin chuckles, shifting his weight. “okay but—seriously, you went all in on the wrong precedent. if you’d just tied it back to—”

“jimin,” you snap, finally turning on him. your voice comes out sharper than you mean it to be. “i said i’m not in the mood.”

the air stills as he processes the deliverance of your sentance. his smirk quickly fades and is replaced by something more cautious—more caring. 

jimin raises his hands, palms up. “okay, shit. fuck. what’s going on with you?”

you bite your lip hard, but it doesn’t stop the tears that suddenly spill over. 

you and jimin are decent friends. you’ve gone to enough events with him to feel comfortable and have ran in the same circles every now and then. you two are familiar with your personal lives but not in great detail… maybe that’s why you admit the truth instead of brushing it off. out of everyone you know, jimin is the least likely to be nosy and opinionated about what is going on. 

“i—namjoon and i broke up,” you blurt out, your voice breaking. “and this stupid trial, and jin’s feedback, and—i don’t know, it’s just too much right now.”

jimin’s eyes widen, and for a second, he looks completely out of his depth. but then he steps closer, his hand hovering near your back before he finally pats it, awkward but sincere.

“hey,” he says softly. “that must suck. i’m sorry, ___.”

his words… pull you. 

so simple, yet so heavy. before you can stop yourself, you let out a sob. then, another and another… until you’re completely crying and suddenly he has his arms wrapped around your face is buried in his chest. for a split moment, it feels like he holds you so tight that if he lets go—you’d crumble without him. 

“i’ve got you,” he murmurs, one hand rubbing small circles on your back. “let it out. it’s okay. i’m here.”

his words hand in the air as your heart continues to ache. 

you don’t know how long you stay like that, clutching at his shirt as the weight of everything pours out of you but eventually, your sobs quiet. eventually, you pull back and wipe your face with the sleeve of your button up. 

you two stay silent for a moment. only the sound of you catching your breath and the classroom vents humming fills the space. 

then, with a small tilt of his head, jimin asks, “soju?”

you let out a light laugh, shaking your head. 

“we broke up this morning… am i really going to get drunk now? it’s hardly past lunch.”

he smiles, the corners of his mouth lifting in that soft, familiar way that makes your chest ache a little less. “it’s almost 4pm. lunch passed. it’s dinner time.”

“seriously?”

he nods and nods towards the door. “come on. soju on me.”

without another word, jimin reaches over and finishes packing up for you. you watch and listen quietly as he begins to talk about the best meal pairings with soju. he makes you laugh a little more too.

as the two of you leave the classroom, your bag slung over his shoulder, jimin’s mind begins to race. he feels bad about your breakup—of course, he does—but fuck. 

finally. 

namjoon’s a good guy and all and you didn’t deserve to get hurt—but again. 

finally.

jimin has liked you for so long and has been unable to do anything about it because his timing was off. so, he figured he’d wait it out. you and nam joon were a good pair—but something was missing. passion? yearning? love? something like that… 

not to worry—jimin has a feeling he’ll bring those things to the table along with the soju.

[kruegerspillow]

A soldier's yearning; Simon Ghost Riley fic.

Creators note: I'm back from the dead (again)...... Whoopsie.... Please take this fic as another apology as I had just finished my dreadful exams :(

Summary: Simon had just departed for a short deployment a few weeks before, though, the feeling of longing surrounded you as you waited for his visit.

Warnings: Swearing, not proofread, a pinch of angst with fluff :3

The atmosphere was tense as you laid restlessly in your bed. You held your phone loosely, the sheets were colder than before; and you swore you could've seen someone strangely familiar walk towards your apartment. You shifted once again, trying your best to find a comfortable position for you to sleep in as you looked out of your third story window.

Simon had left for a short deployment without informing you. And, the worst thing is, you had a brief argument with him right before he departed. It was no serious argument, no shouting or insults; just disagreement. Though, there were no apologies, no words, no kisses or hugs. It left you hanging on a loose thread, the feeling of worry gnawing at you. You were never the type to argue without a valid reason and so was Simon; yet, this departure made you feel some kind of way.

Here you are, weeks after his departure, still worrying for him and longing for his presence. You checked your phone from time to time, hoping that he would reply to at least one of your messages. Delivered, delivered and delivered. Not a single response from him. It felt lonely without him, as if a small void was formed inside the chambers of your heart. Sleeping in his bed wasn't going to be a permanent solution, though, you figured it's better compared to sleeping in your own— without a single hint of him. His room smelled faintly like his cologne, and it provided a sense of comfort. You placed your phone on the nightstand, letting out a small sigh before pulling the blanket over you slightly. Soon, without you knowing, you doze off to his scent lingering around you.

Thud.

You heard the small thud and immediately sat up. You looked around your room, looking disheveled. Your eyes caught on the small box that you had accidentally kicked out of your bed. You shifted, your legs hanging from the edge of his bed before grabbing the box. As you moved your head to the side, you saw a small rose that had been placed since the night before.

From: Simon Riley.

You read the small writings on the cover of the box before softly opening it. There was a small letter of apology along with some sweets that he knew you had always loved. Your heartbeat rised before you placed the box aside. You quickly got up from your bed, walking towards the living room quickly. There he was. Your Simon Riley. He was no longer Ghost, no longer the lieutenant when he was with you.

He slept on the couch, not wanting to wake you up or upset you by sleeping beside you, even though it was his bed you were on. His chest softly rise up and down before hearing your footsteps. He nearly jolted up before meeting your gaze, it was full of love— full of relief and desperation. You pounced on him before his hands went to your waist, steadying you carefully so you won't accidentally fall off of the couch.

"Sweetheart…" He murmured underneath his breath, his voice full of yearning and pure affection. He almost seemed like he regretted leaving you for that silly deployment. "Bloody hell, you got me weak on the knees, love."

You didn't say anything, relishing the feeling of his arms that found its way back to your figure. Your breath hitched as you rested your chin on his broad chest, looking up at him with pleading eyes. Your eyes had gone glossy in mere seconds, but Simon did not complain; feeling the way his heart ached as he noticed your eyes swelling up with tears. He embraced you in his arms, taking in your scent that he misses deeply.

"Hey, c'mon, no tears, yeah? 'M back here with you, lovie." His voice was soothing, providing security and love for you. "I missed you sooo much. Y'know tha'? I won't ever, ever, let go of you."

Soon, you would realize how lucky you were to find someone like him— a soft, caring man— hidden behind the act of coldness and hostility.

(Please check your phone :( He replied to every single one of your messages!)

[thehereticdiaries]

Into the Wonderland: Chapter Four

Chapter Summary: I'm building plot, it's cute and y/n actually gets a break for once. San's a menace and the alphas are horny bastards but nothing sexual happens YET

Warnings: not much, they talk briefly about kinks and bedroom dynamics but nothing explicit

Series Masterlist

You woke up the next morning later than normal. Thankfully, it was Saturday, which meant no classes to worry about for the next two days. You blinked the remnants of sleep from your eyes, looking up to see Hongjoong awake and scrolling on his phone. You rested your chin on his chest to admire his bedhead while he was still distracted. You only got a moment, though, since he felt you move when you woke up.

“Morning, did you sleep any better last night?” His raspy morning voice sent a shiver down your spine.

“Mhm,” you hid your face in his neck. “No nightmares for the first time in weeks.” 

“Good.” He kissed the top of your head, patting your hip afterward so he could get out of bed. “We should get back to the dorms. The others are worried since I didn’t come back last night.”

“You didn’t tell them?” You sat up and watched him make his way to your bathroom.

“Nope!” You rolled your eyes, checking your notifications before getting up to get dressed. You finished changing just before Hongjoong exited the bathroom. “You ready to go?”

“Actually, I remembered a couple things I wanted to talk to you about. I kinda forgot after doing the pack bond.” He sat next to you on your bed with one hand on your knee. “Okay, my first idea has to do with my apartment. I’m not sure if Mingi told you, but my grandmother gifted it to me. I’m not willing to sell it.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to,” Hongjoong’s eyebrows creased, prompting you to continue.

“Well, I was thinking that since I’m eventually going to move into the dorms with you all,” you didn’t miss the way he sat up straighter at the idea. “We could use my apartment as, like, an extra space for our heats and ruts. Just in case any of us want more privacy.”

“We can talk about it with the rest of the pack when we get back, but I think that’s a great idea,” Hongjoong agreed, tracing circles on your knee.

“The second thing has to do with what me, Seonghwa, and Yeosang discussed back when I first joined. We had a long conversation about our heats and how we handle them and who we handle them with and –”

“Y/N,” he interrupted your rambling. “It’s okay, you can just tell me.”

“I’mstillavirgin,” you muttered way too quickly. He stared at you with one eyebrow raised, silently asking you to repeat yourself. You took a deep breath. Honestly, you didn’t know why you were so nervous to tell him when it was so easy to talk about with the other omegas. “I am still a virgin.” The silence that followed made you anxious, only getting worse when Hongjoong closed his eyes and counted to ten.

“Okay!” He sounded almost too chipper. “That’s fine, no problem.”

“Riiiiiight,” you trailed off, baffled by his reaction. “Uh, that’s everything. We can go back to the dorms now.” You stood, grabbing your backpack and his laptop bag then leaving your apartment.

You and Hongjoong walked into an empty living room. He set both of your bags down, then wrapped his arms around your shoulders from behind, effectively hiding your new mark. He covered your ears.

“Everyone in the living room!” He shouted and immediately footsteps approached from all over the dorm. His hands dropped back down to their original spot on your shoulders. One by one, the other pack members filed into the living room. No one sat, too on edge from the head alpha’s disappearance last night.

“Care to explain why you never came back last night?” Seonghwa questioned with a hand on his hip. 

“I’m sure most, if not all of you, have noticed how tired Y/N has been.” Everyone nodded and you hid behind Hongjoong’s arms. You thought you were hiding your exhaustion pretty well. “Our precious little omega has been having nightmares because of her piece of shit classmate.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell us?” Seonghwa’s voice filled with concern as he stepped forward to run a hand through your hair.

“I thought I could handle it, that they’d go away on their own,” you admitted softly, looking up at your elder omega through your lashes. 

“That’s why I didn’t come back last night. We’re not going to let her sleep alone, whether she’s over here or one of us is at her apartment.” Hongjoong flicked his eyes across each of his pack members. He smiled fondly when they all agreed with no hesitation. “How about some good news?” He stepped back, letting his arms fall from you to his sides. You were instantly crowded by the betas and omegas of the group, with San and Jongho lingering a tiny bit further away. 

“Yes! Holy shit, you’re officially ours, dollface,” Wooyoung laughed and ran his fingers over your new mark. Seonghwa swatted his hand away.

“Don’t touch it! It’s still healing,” he scolded the younger beta. Wooyoung held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay, jeez.” San rested his chin on Wooyoung’s head to get a better view of your neck. You blushed under all of the attention. In the opposite corner of the room, Hongjoong whispered to Mingi and Yunho. They not-so-subtly glanced over to you every so often. Curiosity got the better of you, and you wormed your way out of the doting hands of Yeosang and Seonghwa. 

“What are we talking about?” You inserted yourself between Hongjoong and Yunho, the latter slinging an arm over your shoulders.

“Hongjoong was just telling us that you asked him to be there for your heat,” Mingi started with a sly grin.

“And that you want his claim during it,” Yunho concluded. You scrunched your eyebrows at them.

“Yeah? I think that’s pretty normal, so why are you guys acting weird?” You looked between the two taller alphas.

“I’m just warning you now: I don’t think either of us will be patient enough to wait until your next heat to add our own claiming marks,” Mingi stated with a shrug. You hummed and leaned into Yunho’s side.

“I wasn’t really expecting you to with how far apart my heats are.”

“What do you mean?” Hongjoong turned your head to him by your chin. 

“Seonghwa and Yeosang didn’t tell you? I’m on a suppressant that pushes them to every three months,” you explained.

“Is that healthy? Why do you need them, anyway?” Yunho asked next, trailing his fingers over your bicep.

“I need them because my heats were excruciatingly painful. Yes, they’re completely safe. The only side effect I really have basically took the pain and turned it to neediness,” you snickered at your attempt at a joke. No one else laughed. In fact, Yunho tensed at your side and Hongjoong had to close his eyes for a few deep breaths again. You looked at Mingi, but he was faring no better, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Okay!” Hongjoong had the same overly chipper tone as earlier that morning. “Thank you for telling us. I gotta go work on that mix more, see you in a bit.” He pecked your forehead then practically sprinted down the hallway, laptop bag in hand. The other two alphas left with similar excuses, leaving you alone in the living room. You were once again baffled by their reactions, and it must have shown on your face.

“Everything alright?” San asked as he re-entered the room. You sat on the couch with a huff. The beta set his gym bag on the counter then took the seat next to you.

“Yeah, I’m just confused, is all.” He arched his brow, gesturing for you to continue. “I’m confused with the way Hongjoong, Yunho, and Mingi reacted to something I said. This morning I told Hongjoong that I’ve never had sex, then just now I told the three of them about my heat suppressants and the way it makes me super needy. All three of them got really quiet and really tense. They’re not upset, are they?”

“Nope,” San managed to say between his giggles. “I promise they’re not mad. They were probably just trying to keep themselves in check.”

“What do you mean?”

“Honey, our pack is entirely doms and switches. Hongjoong has a huge corruption kink. Him, Yunho, and Mingi were holding themselves back from jumping your bones right then and there.” Your jaw dropped at his bluntness. This was interesting.

“Oh, you have to tell me more,” you insisted while poking his ribs. He laughed, gently pushing your hand away.

“Ah-ah, that’s gonna be something you have to discuss with everyone individually.” San checked his watch. “I gotta meet Changbin at the gym soon.” He stood to grab his bag, but paused to smirk at you. “I can give you a hint, though.”

“Yes! Tell me.” San leaned over you, bracing himself on the couch on either side of your head, effectively caging you in.

“Our alphas and your fellow omegas are all mean.” Your breath hitched, both at his proximity and his admission, red coating your cheeks and ears.

“What about you?” 

“Me? I’m one of the nice ones.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips then walked out the door like nothing happened. You gawked at the front door until someone cleared their throat from the hallway. Wooyoung leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest.

“Does he always do that?” You pointed in the direction San went in, assuming he heard enough to know what you were talking about.

“Oh, yes. San is too patient for his own good. He’ll tease you for days just to see you get riled up and desperate for him,” Wooyoung wiggled his eyebrows at you. 

“And he says he’s a nice one,” you scoffed, fanning your heated face with your hands. 

“He is, trust me.” With a wink, Wooyoung disappeared back down the hall. You shook your head, no less confused than you were 10 minutes ago. Jongho and Seonghwa passed through the room as you pulled your book out of your backpack. The latter grabbed a list off the fridge, meeting up with Yunho and leaving the dorm. The youngest pack member sat next to you, handing you a water bottle and draping your legs over his lap. You fell into a comfortable silence with the beta, each absorbed in your own activities while enjoying each other’s company.

The next day you woke up with Wooyoung practically on top of you. Last night when you left the dorm, he insisted on being the next one to stay at your apartment. You attempted to wiggle out from under him, making the beta whine in the back of his throat. He wrapped his arms tighter around your middle.

“Wooyoung, let go I have to pee,” you shoved his shoulder half-heartedly. He buried his nose in your hair, pointedly ignoring you. “Wooyoung.”

“Ugh, fine!” He reluctantly let you go so you could both get ready to go back to the dorms. You really need to figure out when you could move in, the back and forth was getting annoying. You barely had a chance to set your backpack on the couch when Yunho grabbed your hand and pulled you right back out the door.

“Yunho, where are we going? I wanted to work on my code,” you complained but didn’t fight him, easily letting him lead you outside where Hongjoong and Mingi waited.

“We,” he started, gesturing between himself and the other alphas. “Are taking you on a date.”

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me, I would’ve dressed nicer!” You looked down at your sweater and jeans.

“You look great, come on,” Hongjoong took your other hand, lacing your fingers together. You walked between the two with Mingi right behind you. It almost felt like you had bodyguards. They guided you through the subway and a short walk later you stared wide-eyed in the lobby of the Seoul Science Center. You, Yunho, and Mingi waited off to the side while Hongjoong got your tickets.

“I’ve never been here,” you grinned while looking through a pamphlet detailing the exhibits. 

“Really? That’s surprising, considering your field of study,” Yunho commented, accepting his ticket when Hongjoong held it out to him. 

For the next couple hours, your alphas followed behind you, listening intently as you gushed over the displays. You were happy to explain anything they didn’t understand and looking up the things that none of you knew. At one point you got stuck trying to figure out how to start a demonstration. You futzed around with the damn thing for nearly fifteen minutes before giving up. A young girl and her father came up beside your group. The girl was maybe ten-years-old at most, but she activated the demo in about three seconds. You collectively decided to browse the gift shop after that.

It was late in the afternoon when you returned to the dorms. You went to collapse onto the couch, groaning dramatically at Mingi pulling you into the kitchen to place you on the counter and stand between your legs.

“You’re letting them get away with too much,” Seonghwa remarked on his way into the living room. “Remember to share. You guys have had her all day.”

“Five more minutes, then she’s all yours,” Hongjoong responded as he and Yunho joined the two of you. 

“Any reason why I’m still being held hostage?” You raised an eyebrow at them.

“Kiss,” was the only explanation you got before Mingi dipped down to connect his lips to yours. One hand held the back of your neck, the other resting on the counter next to your thigh. His tongue slipped into your mouth, running along yours before pulling away with a light nip to your bottom lip. Satisfied with your dazed expression, Mingi gave you another quick kiss then left so Yunho could take his place.

“Did you have fun today?” He cupped your cheek with one hand, brushing his thumb over the flushed skin. You nodded rapidly, pressing your forehead to his. “Good.” The force of his kiss contrasted the gentle touches he trailed across your neck and hip. He licked into your mouth, guiding your tongue to his so he could suck on it. A string of saliva connected you when he pulled back to kiss down your jaw and neck. Hongjoong growled in warning when Yunho got too close to your mating gland. The younger alpha rolled his eyes, shooting you a wink before following Mingi’s path further into the dorms.

“Don’t be mean,” you tried to scold Hongjoong but your smile took the sting out of it. He pressed himself into you, pulling your legs to wrap around his waist.

“Oh, you haven’t seen mean yet, babe,” he smirked, eyes intense and lips ghosting over yours. You inhaled sharply to suppress the whimper that threatened to escape your throat. His mouth devoured yours, all tongue and teeth. Hongjoong’s self-restraint frayed at the edges as he allowed himself to roll his hips against yours once, just to hear your tiny moan. He tore himself away from you, leaning closer to your ear.

“I need to stop it here, my pretty omega. Or I’m gonna end up fucking you on the counter,” his voice sent a shiver through your body. 

“W-why can’t you?” You stammered and scratched his scalp at the base of his neck. He sent you a warning look that only succeeded at sending a rush of heat to your lower belly.

“The first time I fuck you is going to be during your heat,” he stated firmly. 

“But why?” Your whine was cut off by Hongjoong gripping your jaw. 

“Don’t argue. You should know this, sweetheart. We produce the strongest bond that way. Understand?” You pouted, but nodded against his hold. His eyes softened immediately. “Good girl. Go give some love to the others.” You tried to keep the praise from going to your head while he lifted you off the counter. At the doorway of the kitchen, Hongjoong steered you to the living room with a pat to your backside. 

“Finally!” Seonghwa quipped, pulling you to sit on his lap when you were close enough. His arms draped lazily around your waist. Yeosang scooted closer to maneuver your legs over his lap, resting his head on the eldest’s shoulder. “Are you staying here tonight or going back to your apartment?”

“As much as I’d like to stay here, all of my school stuff is back at mine. We gotta figure out when I can move in, and what room I’d be moving into,” you noted offhandedly. 

“Hmm, your heat’s in two weeks. Do you want to wait until after to talk about it with everyone?” Yeosang suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” you agreed and relaxed into Seonghwa’s chest to watch a movie that Jongho put on. After dinner, you and San returned to your apartment. You fell asleep that night tucked safely under the beta’s chin.

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