#so anyways i need some gay shit
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does anyone have any recs for cheesy gay romance books
#romance isnt my preferred genre but when im in a slump theyre thee best thing to get me back reading bc i can just devour 1 a day and feel#accomplished#but last time i read a bunch of romance books to unslump myself i read this straight one where the woman was the mans bodyguard but HE kept#fucking protecting her and it pissed me off so bad why would you promise me woman bodyguard and then make her the damsel!!!!#so anyways i need some gay shit#and by gay shit i mean any kind of queer shit mlm wlw trans protag ace protag anything ill eat it right up#yeehawing
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Barty is provocative as fuck and James is easy to rile up. Usually, it just leads to James storming off with Barty laughing. One time, James was having his own problems, and Barty came by and started a fight. James said the most offensive personal thing ever that got Barty so mad, he got personal too. Then they both are just yelling at each other, and everyone is kind of scared to pull them apart. Eventually James just tells him to fuck off and Barty does, for the first time, storm off.
They were seen making out later that night
#Idk guys#i just love them being angry#barty brings the worse out of james#like dont tell me all of the kindness james feels doesnt go down the drain when barty starts yapping#he shit talks barty a lot#but weirdly enough he will only be vulnerable with barty#his inner rage and pure raw unfoltered emotions only come out when barty is pulling him#and barty who lovws entertainment likes to say some stuff that james do not like#he does it anyway cause he doesnt care#he hates when people get too personal#he also hates acknowledging his problems#so when james points it out he hates it to a burning passion#but he needs james to point it out cause he will never listen to amyone else who will#but it also gets him angry and psychotic#theyre just gay#james potter#barty crouch jr#james fleamont potter#barty crouch junior#sunkiller#darksun#james x barty#iliyas yaps#iliyas hcs
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^3^
(there’s a bonus drawing under the cut that i don’t like enough to put in its own post but i still think it’s cute lol)
fambily :]
#.png#mcytshipping#qsmpshipping#qsmp#qsmp missa#qsmp phil#pissa#< that’s still so funny#eyestrain#tried some fun stuff with the rendering how do we feel about this gamers#been needing an excuse to use some of the brushes i’ve made and properly test them#also missa’s hair situation is Truly getting out of hand someone help him#god am i gonna have to start putting the eyestrain tag on all my art#i’m sorry i just like neon okay#i feel like anyone that’s followed me for a long time probably knows that#anyways welcome back to me posting gay shit on main it’s been a while
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What's so fun about BruJay as a ship is Jason's sheer obsessive devotion to Bruce. Jason is possessive over Bruce, to the point he doesn't care about the deaths of others so long as he has Bruce's attention. A part of the UTRH arc this isn't talked about enough is that Bludhaven fucking explodes mid-way and Jason won't let Bruce see if Dick is alive.
batman (1940) #650
A lot of discussion about UTRH paints Jason as this anger-driven cold, calculating machine up against Bruce when it's so clear that his love for Bruce is what drives him at his root, even if he won't acknowledge it. He says it himself, he would've done anything if it was Bruce who'd died instead of him and his anger is rooted in that possessive devotion not being reciprocated.
batman (194) #650
BruJay as a ship always to be, to some level, unrequited. Even if Bruce loves Jason back in that way, he'll never be that obsessed with Jason. Jason will always view Bruce's love for Dick or Tim to be a distraction, proof that Bruce isn't dedicated enough to him. Jason has the need to always have Bruce's attention, even when it could come at the cost of Bruce's other loved ones. Something something cannibalism as a metaphor for love in how Jason wants to consume Bruce's whole existence. He can't let Bruce leave him again, can't let Bruce love or grieve anyone else. Forcing Bruce to choose between Jason and the Joker isn't just about confronting Jason's killer, it's about confronting the other person who exists as this duality with Bruce and consumes so much of Bruce's life. That's the role Jason wants to fill, calling himself Red Hood and forcing Bruce to look at what he's become. But still loving Bruce and wanting more than anything for Bruce to reciprocate that love in the way that Jason understands. I just think it's good soup and rife with Dynamics that are underexplored with them.
#necrotic festerings#brujay#jaybruce#jaybru#jason todd x bruce wayne#batcest#i've had this thought in my head for a while#i was just weirdly shy about posting it? like convinced myself it's not as verbose as some of my other thoughts#also GOD why is the art of this arc SO BAD.#i can't take it SERIOUSLY#i hate looking at it.#the faces. why are the faces like that.#brujay needs more love bc jesus#gotham war had some good brujay content but i am still too bitter to discuss that shitshow. so. ignoring it for now.#bruce changing jason's brain chemistry as an act of love is the most FUCKED UP brujay thing ever tho#it's so Them.#sorry that is just peak brujay. they are incapable of meeting in any middle and always trying to change each other.#maybe this meta should've been about that.#but then i'd have to use new-52 and rebirth panels so eh. nvmd.#this page makes it seem like i hate post-flashpoint comics. i don't i swear#they just interest me less for batcest.#like oh yay everyone's getting along and working together.#it only came at the expense of throwing away decades of character work. small sacrifice.#i need to stop posting meta at fucking 5 am.#no one is going to see this bc i can't be a normal person.#wrote this while watching invincible#which is pretty good so far but man the ending of ep1 clocked me. i was absolutely bamboozled.#i had something else i was going to say in the tags but i lost it.#anyway most of this is a ship post and projecting shit as per usual and yk. not serious comic media.#i'm just silly and gay.
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the dead boy detective agency main four are a polycule on various points of the aromantic/asexual spectrum (in addition to their various sexualities), with the various side characters playing the roles of parental figures or talking stages. thank you for coming to my ted talk
#it’s like scooby doo but they don’t have a dog#this is of course just my opinion#but: gay ace demiaro edwin / bi demiaro charles / pan greyaroace crystal / lesbian aroace niko are v real to me#the older characters work as parental figures ofc#then there’s characters like Monty and Thomas who are chatting up edwin but aren’t officially in the polycule#that being said: achillean greyace monty / pan aroflexible thomas are also real to me#this isn’t even getting into the gender fuckery I am putting these characters in#but I felt like sharing#esp since I keep seeing ppl fight over catwin and palaland or whatever that ship name is#I don’t think catwin works not bc of some perceived age thing but bc the cat king is v sex forward and edwin is Not Into That#doesn’t mean tck is ruled out from a place on the chart it’s just not how he wanted#same for monty who came on v romantically and edwin was not having it#all valid and fair !!!#plus the main four needed to get their shit together but this is my fantasy world so shhh#oh and for crystal x charles I think they’re the most allo of th main four so it tracks they had the closest to a traditional relationship#but then everyone gets their shit together and that doesn’t happen as frequently lol#esp as time goes on#like the polycule is more of a series of qprs with some sugar/spice on occasion#there isn’t really a point to this post but this blog is me talking to myself most of the time anyway#dead boy detectives#dbda#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#monty the crow#the cat king
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when i can't get myself to start drawing i will do. this. and. 75% of the time i will be able to start drawing and i. h
#sometimes it's ocs but i enjoy making it a cartoon shape. it suck's#why do you draw so much spamton bullshit I'M CURSED BY THGE BEAST#i need to. try loosening up with other shit. however... h#wanna draw some gays kissing? well... don't u worry boss. i got thi s#anyway . this is why i always have so many sketch pages of the guy cause. it keeps happening#i should post real art some day again#hyprlnk_art
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Having to block everyone who has "wincest dni" in their bio not because I ship wincest (because I have come to the conclusion that I actually don't) but because I do think it'd be fun to poke around at the very real weirdness of their relationship that I've noticed in the show so far. And I'm 99% sure that my poking around will get seen as shipping.
#andiv3r rambles#incest mention#stupid because i Don't ship them. i dont want them to kiss or whatever i just think they're Weird and would like to acknowledge that#and maybe play around with it . and try to figure out what the fuck is going on.#but nobody in any fandom wants to play anymorree#like im sorry they're weird. im sorry they got repeatedly assumed to be a couple just within the first and second season#and then compared to bonnie and clyde. and then !#. “an old married couple.”#and also there was the “just brothers” comment which i've spent so long ranting about that i'm sure all my friends are sick of hearing about#how what i'm sure was some writer's intention of doubling down on the “look they're SO not having weird gay incestuous feelings for one#another“#MAJORLY backfired and instead implied that the incest was more of a possibility. whereas just about ANY other phrasing wouldn't have.#i dunno. i dunno! once again i don't ship them . but i do think they're weird about one another. codependent maybe? dean specifically says#that he couldn't continue living if sam dies. they both try to sell their own souls to keep the other one alive#which again!! doesnt imply incest necessarily!! but it does imply Weirdness! they ARE weird!#probably a lot to do with their upbringing. but like. they are Weird. they behave strangely and act like they Need one another#which is Not normal for a sibling bond 👍#but yeah . yeah i'm rambling now. it's whatever.#tl;dr i don't ship them but their relationship is Canonically Weird And Abnormal and i think it's unfair to ask me to ignore that#and just go “haha they're so Brother. they're so Regular Normal Sibling.” because they're Not#they have that sibling bond that makes me go “aha#these are clearly brothers“#but then they say and do shit that makes me just want to grab the nearest person and scream ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT#WHAT DO YOU MEAN “she knows your weakness. it's me” STOP SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT TO YOUR BROTHER. THAT'S NOT NORMAL!!!!#. ahem. anyway. yeah. sorry#i can't wait till i get to later seasons and castiel shows up because i've heard im going to Like him#and also because Gay People#but for now i'm rotating sam and dean around in my mind in a microwave and Wishing i could put them in therapy together#because they Need to learn how to not be so strange and odd about one another in an unhealthy way
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guys I might be discovering something lately--
#I MEAN LMAO I've always been clinging more to males but then I started to think more abt Claudia and uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and there's the demi thing bc idk I need to know better the character to start feeling sumthin like lmaoooooo I've met Claudia for a while#but i took a bit more to realize the gay shit bc my family prob planted sum denial inside my head WHICH I'VE BEEN FINNA GETTING FREE OF IT#LIKE... she fucking awakened my gay side heLP#there's also my genderfluid thing like sometimes I might get into feeling myself as male and liking males which is also very gay so like#very double gay IDK#ANYWAY I'M HAPPY I'VE BEEN DISCOVERING A BIT MORE ABOUT MYSELF#It was just a matter of time of me getting finna away from my mostly conservative family that I stopped denying my true self like#SINCE I WAS A KID I remember saying I was a boy in the body of a girl or something#AAND I used to ALSO compliment an specific girl the same way I compliment boys. in a... kid having a crush way y'kno#I also used to find some girls very pretty like#my inner child knew the gay shit; thank god amen#best thing I've done was getting out of that old house. life gud#not sorry for the text wall deal with it#random#shitpost#silent hill#silent hill 3#vincent smith#claudia wolf#lgbtq#demisexual#demibisexual
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wow, i love when the dragon age fandom is very normal about veilguard's companions being pansexual and totally not being lowkey really fucking pan and bi phobic.
#like oh wow#so i guess bisexual and pansexual characters are bad or weak writing#and theyre easy in terms of romance#totally not fucking bi and pan phobic#i fucking loathe some of the mfers in this fandom#i love my sexuality being reduced to playersexual!!!#and every time people ONLY bring up dorian as an example of why we need set sexualities but#why would i want to be stuck with 1-2 gay romances?#more than half of the time when i play a game theres only 1-2 gay romances and like 2-4 straight romances like...#and most of the time none of the characters i want to romance are the gay option#and i usually hardly see male bisexual romances :((#also im a TRANS MAN#im not going to fucking make a female character for a straight romance#i only did it with cyberpunk for river because i wanted to create a mox and you hardly see your character anyways#i feel like a lot of people who dont like it are straight because they clearly dont get why somebody like me is happy with it#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#sorry for the ranting im just so fucking upset#so many people have said some fucking awful shit.#kwyoz.txt#fandom related
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hi au where billy and max are child stars
neil auditioning billy for a (soon-to-be) beloved family sitcom as a baby, very mary-kate and ashley vibes, maybe billy getting the role for being the only baby not to cry during the auditions, and then putting him to work from basically day dot.
his mom doing her best to run interference and make sure he gets treated right, only letting him be on set for a few hours a week and making sure either herself or neil is always with him, but the older he grows and the more screen time he gets, the more the show runners and neil try and weasel their way for more time with him.
him turning five and the show airing it's fourth season, his parents marriage being over. his mom handing neil the divorce papers and walking out, then dipping her hand into his earnings (that neil has tied up in his own name) to try and buy them a future, trying to get full custody.
the divorce being messy and drawn out and public, neil having made her out to be the villain, the fans and magazines tearing her to shreds and writing headlines trying to shame her, saying she's a heartless bitch for trying to end her own child's career just as it's starting to take off.
billy getting caught in the middle, the separation and custody battle drawing out for years, him struggling to handle the fall out of his home life coming apart at the same time as the sitcom he grew up on comes to an end.
his life being a fucking mess by the time he turns eight.
having a little bit of free time then, technically being jobless. starting to explore other hobbies and interests now that he has some time and getting more into music and sports, begging for a guitar and a surfboard for his birthday, asking neil if he can join little league.
neil promising him one better, and instead, getting him auditions for disney, telling him the only thing better than playing the guitar, is playing the guitar for disney.
turning ten and being a series regular on an already airing disney show, but the execs and directors being so impressed by him that there's talks of him getting his own show.
part of him being excited, proud, but a bigger part of him being terrified.
being so scared to tell his mom cos he knows she'll cry. she used to run her fingers through his hair to lull him to sleep, hug him close and whisper about how she never wanted this life for him, how she's so sorry.
it becoming official and him getting his own show on disney.
him getting the news exactly one week after his mom walks out for good, his dad having finally won full custody, no visitation allowed.
him feeling sick to his stomach. he never thought she'd actually leave.
he never even got to tell her his news.
it not taking long for the shine of having his own show to wear off, the few things he was excited about starting to become a hassle.
starting to resent it.
hating it.
hating the lights and the cameras and the scripts and the running lines. the early mornings and the make up and the flights and the night shoots and the interviews and the press. hating the way he's always surrounded by adults, never having had an actual friend his own age in his entire life. that all the other kids he knows are pitted to him like rivals, there being always talk about ratings and viewers and timeslots. him not knowing what a friend without it being tied up in publicity and pr.
hating the fact that he has a sister on the show, but his dad and her mom end up getting close, and suddenly he's getting a step-sister in real life.
hating the way max only has to film for x amount of hours a day because she's a kid, but he has to film for longer, and thats on top of everything else he's gotta do, very miley cyrus sharing her schedule during her hannah montana years vibes.
him becoming a household name in his younger years from the sitcom, but disney cementing his fame, him being known by what feels like the entire world by the time he's in his teens.
growing up and getting into shit, experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex, trying to find any and every escape he can. him and max always being on the outs in private, but being the picture perfect family in public.
neil being a controlling fucker, a true momager, has kris jenner on speed dial.
rebelling in every way he can, not giving a fuck what stories or pictures of him get leaked anymore, the press and public turning against him as he gets older.
his show ending and him expecting to finally feel free, except just becos the shows over, doesn't mean anything else is. suddenly the pressure starts feeling heavier, everyone asking him what he's got lined up next, if he's gonna straighten himself out, if he's gonna finally take his career seriously.
neil riding him, telling him to forget about whatever he wants to do, and do what he tells him to do instead. him having various commitments and auditions lined up for billy already, and billy being ready to end it all.
emancipating himself at age seventeen, cutting off contact with everyone.
going off the rails and living his worst life. catching the headlines and updates of maxine mayfield: now managed by neil hargrove, and shoving down the urge to call her and tell her to run, knows she won't listen to a thing he says any way. he was nothing but an asshole and a spoilt brat no good fuck up in her eyes anyway, neil making sure they never got close.
doing his best to go down the music route, feeling physically ill at the thought of acting again, but thinking maybe music could be the answer. he always liked it better. felt more comfortable with a guitar in his hands or a piano under his fingers than cameras and lights in his face.
the music industry being just as harsh and ruthless as the entertainment industry, him not getting taken seriously by anyone he needs to be taken seriously by, everyones expectations of him being so fucking high that he knows he'll never be able to meet them.
deciding he doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore, his life's never been his own to control or have any say over anyway. signing a five year contract with a well-known label, not writing a single song of his own or playing a single instrument aside from when they want him to trot out an acoustic set, and instead singing words richer people than him wrote and performing show after show after show, flying from country to country to country, barely fucking existing. the songs becoming chart toppers, like they were written to be, and selling out stadiums.
hitting rock bottom.
getting a wake up call from max of all people, her ringing to check he's still alive. him pulling the phone away to check this is an actual call and not a hallucination. putting the phone back up to his ear, asking why she's calling.
her saying happy birthday and billy realising he's turning twenty today.
them sitting in silence for a while before max finally cracks.
her telling him his dad's an asshole. billy laughing. no shit.
them hanging up, but max calling again, a month later, then again, a few weeks after that.
billy being hungover as fuck and having no idea what country he's in, but max is in a new movie, out in cinemas now, and it's a serious drama, it's fucking emmy nominated, so he calls the front desk of whatever hotel he's staying at and asks for directions to the closest cinema and before he knows it, he's going incognito, hoodie on, and watching her on the big screen, and she's so much better at acting than he ever was.
neil must be so goddamn pleased with himself.
too bad max sounds completely miserable everytime they talk on the phone.
he calls her instead of her calling him for the first time, opening the conversation with saw your movie, how much fucking overtime did you get for all those night-shoots?
before or after your dad took his cut?
billy laughs. he can't remember the last time he laughed.
ANYWAY. i was listening to robot by miley cyrus on repeat and!!!! child stars au!!!! them both being worked to the bone!!! hating each other becos they barely know each other cos they barely know themselves!!!! getting through their childhoods battered and bruised, billy coming out the other side first, max finally catching up to him a few years later. them both, one by one, cutting their parents out!!!! max taking the big screen by storm when she grows up, neil frothing at the mouth that he can't touch her money when she cuts him out!!!! billy never signing another contract again after his record deal ends, disappearing off the face off the earth!!!! slight the lucky one by tswift vibes!!!! idk!!!!!
#the idea of steve and like the other st teens being disney stars and billy and steve having a thing#after stevenancy of course. and then steve bailing and going back to nancy the second she shows him attention#and billy being like. hurt and heartbroken and soooo fucking fifteen years old about it#things leaking and neil losing his shit over the gay rumours#things coming out over the years of neil being a piece of shit and billys team being fucking awful#max having it good for a while at the start before neil comes into the picture then realising how fucked things can be when he takes over#cutting him out and considering giving up acting#but realising she actually loves it. just not on neils terms and not on disneys terms.#taking a slight break and getting new management before getting back out there.#billy seeing every one of her movies and calling her to nitpick every single one#also the idea of steve and nancy getting married then divorced a year later and billy catching the headlines#like damn. whatevers happening over theres probably 10x as fucked than whats getting reported. thank fuck i dodged that bullet.#100% have what happens with billy when he fucks off from the public eye mapped out but whatever we're not focusing on that#gonna go listen to my hannah montana/miley playlist now thanku#also thinking about this au made me realise there really is no Disney guy like miley hilary raven demi selena were#like theres zefron cos hsm i guess#but like. guy disney channel star????#whatever it's not important its fiction it doesnt matter#anyway the idea of billy coming back to social media to post once in a blue moon#and him being like. 'well my therapist says i need to accept and make peace w my childhood so imma try and see what u all see#and watch this shit' and then start like. liveposting while watching the shows that made him famous#posting a story to insta with 'you all made this punk a fuckin household name?????' over a clip of him doing some acting at like. age 6.#and then another clip with 'at some point u gotta realise the problem is you holy fuck'#'i was a kid i had an excuse. you all just made anything famous back then jfc'#m#nqff#text
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At the end of this story, there is only a cold spot
Stained with blood and empty air
#(doesnt post art for several years then comes crawling out of the soil w some sad new gay dudes under my arms) hey bitches ya miss me#alnst#alien stage#ivantill#alnst ivan#alnst till#alnst fanart#imma be honest chief i havent done this in so long ive forgotten how i usually tag this shit uhhhh okie#dont look too hard at anything else the mistakes will scare you soooooo bad#anyways hiiii these are my new horrible babygirls#they loooooove self sacrifice and hate communication#thank u for listening. i will now not post anything original ever again. goodby#oh wait does this need cw tags uh maybe.#blood //#body horror //#sure lets go w that#shut up fein#Fein does art#havent used that tag in a hot minute
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where is my fat husband
#stream#i’m lonely !!!! i want a man !!!!!!#me: where’s my man#me at the same time: not leaving the house nor dating apps & also is having a mental breakdown everyday while self medicating#also i’m 90% sure my meds are starting to fail again ALSKALKSLAKSLAKLSAKLSMAKSKK#ANYWAY#i didn’t even go to gay bars when i was allowed to drink like 😭😭😭#it’s all a bunch of straight people#there’s no point#like i constantly here old queens going ‘young gays don’t do xyz’ or ‘don’t know how to xyz’ like ok girl its because that shit died like#idk probably before the pandemic truly it was dying but the pandemic was the nail in the coffin like girl …��.. i turned 21 a month into#lockdowns like#ok so i did stuff illegally & went to other shit but it still was straight bars 90% of the time there’s like 6 gay bars in houston total 😭😭😭#like idk what they expect like if … those venues aren’t there & are increasingly AGAINST doing the goofy tings …. how would the YOUNG KNOW#like at this point idk i truly think that it’s kinda on the elders at this point ALSKALSKLAKSAKSLAN like yea they’re boomers at the end of#the day so like i’m not saying that they didn’t have it hard they did they did ok but. get over it ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLA like alright … but#i’m saying this as someone who knows the history & bullshit like ok yea everyone needs to understand what it’s like to have your community#die before ur eyes but at the same time. there’s no community now ? ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLLA like girl …#girl …….#yall HAD a community but now all that shit is gone & none of us young ppl have any funds to make that 😭😭😭#like girl i have 12$ in my bank account i dream of being able to rent a flat at some point like a ONE BEDROOM u know W A LIVING ROOM & yall#own rentals so like this is UP TO YALL …..#like ur the problem ? 😭😭😭😭😭#@gays for trump & loghouse republicans i’m looking at YALL#a lot of these mfs are liberal too - pro invasion of iraq democrat back the blue bootlickin NIMBA faggots 😭😭😭💔#anyway that’s just me bitching#i’ve been so fucking IRRITABLE today
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im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: 😱#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
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you know, i think tenten will also give them good luck charms for protection like how she gave her tsunade-sama one in sd.
she totally would, with her penchant for fortune telling, she’d handcraft three good luck/protection charms and give them to each of them.
I like to think she gives them to each of her team at different times.
Lee gets his first, after Tenten overhears him telling Gai-sensei about how he has almost lost hope in his dream to beat Neji.
“Perhaps just hard work isn’t enough,” he sobs to Gai-sensei as Tenten walks away, her heart heavy. She hands him a little good-luck charm at training the next day, a carved dragon, quietly telling him that he should never lose hope.
Neji may be a genius, but Lee is a genius of hard work, and she will protect his boundless hope until he achieves his dream. Perhaps it comes from a place of selfishness. After all, Tenten is no genius herself, and Lee’s hope is her hope too.
Or maybe it’s not selfishness, but relatability.
Whatever it is, Lee thanks her with a huge hug and many, many tears. Tenten protests loudly, but deep down, her heart swells.
He always keeps it in the hidden pocket of his jumpsuit, and never forgets to take the charm out before washing it. He shows it off with pride to everyone, much to Tenten's chagrin.
Gai-sensei receives his next, after both Tenten and Lee end up in the hospital after the Chunin Exams.
After Tenten is healed, she finds her sensei standing over a sleeping Lee, tears rolling down his face. He immediately puts on an act when Tenten walks in, but she knows what she saw, and it weighs on her.
The next day, when Gai-sensei pops into her physical therapy to check on her and offer some good old Gai-sensei encouragement (motivational shouting), Tenten pulls him aside. She hands him a small charm she’d made the previous night, a little wood turtle carved with the symbol for luck.
“Don’t worry sensei, the people you care about will always be okay!” She smiles brightly at him as she sets the charm in his hand. “It’s for protection—”
Gai-sensei’s thanks is also in the form of many, many tears and shouted declarations of his sweet lotus flower’s kindness and compassion. Tenten’s response, as usual, is loud and embarrassed protests, and a secret smile muffled in Gai-sensei’s broad shoulder as he hugs her tightly.
Gai keeps his charm in the safest pocket of his jounin vest, going as far as to ask Genma to give him a seal to make sure it never breaks or gets damaged. After all, his lotus gave it to him so he could protect her and her teammates, and he would rather die than let her down.
Neji is the last to receive his charm, after his fight with Naruto in the final round of the Chunin Exams. He sits in the hospital room and tells her about everything, his clan, his uncle apologizing to him, his restored faith in the future.
"I will change my clan," he insists to her. "I will better it, for all of the Hyuuga."
The next morning, through the rubble of a torn-apart and betrayed village, in the wake of the Sandaime Hokage's death, Tenten walks to the Hyuuga compound dressed in her mourning clothes and deposits a small carved phoenix charm in his hand.
"What's this for?" he asks, turning the charm over in his hand and studying it.
"Good fortune, protection." Unlike the rest of Team Gai, Tenten always keeps her stories to herself. For some reason, she finds the words tumbling out of her. "My mother used to make them for me. They were for protection and good luck."
Neji nods. He runs a thumb over the carved bird's wing. "Protecting what?"
"My hopes, my well-being, whatever it was she thought needed to be protected."
Neji finally looks up at her, understanding filtering through his gaze. Tenten turns around, ears burning. "Come on, let's go. They'll kill us if we're late to the funeral."
Neji stows his charm in the pockets of his clothes and jogs after her.
Several years later, when Lee surpasses everyone around him, his taijutsu a shining beacon of his hard work and dedication, he is ever aware of the wooden dragon in his pocket, the way his hope is a reflection of Tenten's. He vows to work harder, to prove to her that she can do it just like him.
He will protect her hope too.
On the battlefield facing down Madara Uchiha, Gai quickly moves the little turtle charm to the pocket over his heart. To protect the village, to protect his precious students, he can do anything.
"Eighth Gate of Death, release!"
As medics work to stabilize Neji in the emergency tents, they find a blood-soaked phoenix charm clutched in his hand.
His full recovery is nothing short of a miracle.
#asks#tenten#neji hyuga#rock lee#maito gai#team gai#erumai writes fic sometimes#can't ever keep a consistent spelling of hyuga/hyuuga huh#yes the charms DO have symbolism behind them hehehehehe#this whole thing lowkey makes no sense but also. thats ok.#it's about the strength that comes from the feeling of someone else caring about u idk#cause each member of team gai knows what its like to be lonely. to lack love.#gai lives with the void in his heart from watching his father die#lee was bullied for his whole life about not being able to do ninjutsu and taijutsu and hes probably an orphan too#neji's clan doesnt give a shit about him except for as death fodder when they need to protect the main branch#tenten... we dont know anything about her but we can sense that her need for approval comes from a lack of love in some capacity#maybe shes an orphan too. i like to think she is#ANYWAY all of this team lacks love in some capacity. so when they get it it's gonna stick with them for sure#honestly i coulda thrown nart in here for orphan solidarity or themes or sumn but. this is about team gai.#they ARE each others family dont u see#im gonna shut up now lol
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having a crush makes me feel like such a freak this has to stop...
#i keep thinking abt some guy that works in this different department of this store i work at and hes soooo attractive it makes me feel crazy#i know like nothing about him because we spoke once after running into e/o months ago but i cant stop thinking about him its fucked up!!!!#yesterday my coworker was telling me that he was staring over in our direction while walking the other way#and he was looking so hard he almost ran into one of the check lanes and i somehow saw none of this#but my coworker was like 'he was totally staring at you' like be so serious rn you cant just tell me this shit#i was smiling like an IDIOT after that and he totally might not give a fuck about me whatsoever!#but hes super nice and has a great voice and i need to know what hes like and all of his interests and his life story.... in a normal. way.#he also might have a gf bc a diff coworker of mine saw him out shopping with some girl though it could have been a friend or wtvr#but then this OTHER coworker whos actually worked with him closely was saying shes pretty sure hes gay so what the truth here??#anyway
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i dont got a gaurdian angel or devil on my shoulder but i do imagine grandad (robert freeman) from the boondocks reacting to everything around me
#been like this for like two months now or something#everytime im too exhausted to get up but am like 'i need to get up to eat dinner' i hear grandads voice like#'have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway'#that sounds bad it sounds like i have an eating disorder or some shit that is not true. i love to eat im monkey d luffy irl and its not a#joke. me and wiener are fucking beasts we will go 20 minutes without eating and go gawd... im so hungry rn...#but sometime my demon of a bed traps me like quicksand again and im like i need to eat food.. but god sleep feels so good....#i love the have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway line okay it makes me laugh so fucking hard riley be starving af#pretty boy flizzy episode 😍😍😍#i think about the allowance line too all the fuckin time#you want an allowance? i ALLOW you to eat my food. i ALLOW you to burn my electricity. i ALLOW you to sleep in my bed!#robert freeman is so deadass i love him especially when he thought riley was gay and heard tom say all the good things about gay people and#and went 'damn thats a lot of good shit... nah still gotta disown him'#LOL#grandad was not rockin wit that gangstalicious manbag
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