#so anyway i cant keep doing a job that even six months later wants to make me run away when a customer talks to me

[just-emilia]

thought about my future for two seconds (bc if i really do end up graduating in april then what. WHAT?!) and now I feel super off-kilter weird bad

[taechaos]

Idea series oc sneaking Tae in the house after he had big fight with his father about something (your choice if it's smutty or fluff or angsty) with a peek of a vurberable Tae? Honestly i think he would change the topic as soon as he started it and prob with sex.

Anyway I'm really interest in their family dynamic since I remember don't know if it was in part one or two that you mention they have really religious parents? And seeing how harsh their dad is with Taehyung it have me wondering how is his relationship with the mother and ocs with both parents, despite everything the seem really distant from their kids, maybe thats why Tae and YN find comfort in each other. OC is the first real bond Tae made with someone so maybe that's the reason of his fear of being replaced and his obsession with her, and ocs mother probably don't pay that much attention to her so that's why even after the incident she still want him to be there. At this point I'm just rambling I'm sorry. And this ask is all over the place, started with a request and ended questioning characters life 💀💀. Sorry hehe.

when i read this yesterday i was literally blown away by this like hOLY shit your analysis is so in-depth at first i was like damn do my characters have more than oNE DIMENSION?? WHICH IS RLY FLATTERING BUT I THINK ITS JUST UR WORDS THAT MADE ME SOUND SMART 💀💀💀 the ending is chef's kiss tho made me bust a lung SHFJJD thank you so much for taking the time to write this its honestly so fucking amazing. hopefully u can see more of their family dynamic in this drabble :)

Rays of sunlight slither through the cracks in the blinds of the living room, allowing Taehyung's father enough light to scan the newspaper he holds in his hand, with the musical, happy chirping of mockingbirds filling in the silence. All of these beautiful signs of nature and peaceful rotation of the earth makes Taehyung tense up even more.

The moment he got back home from buying drugs, his father greeted him in monotone with a, "would you sit with me for a moment?" and he hasn't spoken since. The zipperbag in his pocket crinkles every time he shifts in his seat, making him cringe momentarily before he starts nervously fidgeting again.

This is so awkward and yet equivalent to hearing: we need to talk. God, why is he so silent?

Clearing his throat, Taehyung stands just as his father flips a page with a lick of his thumb. "I'm going to my room really quick."

"No."

"Oh." When will his step-mother return? She's his only hope as he sits down while avoiding looking at his father, whose gaze is set on the black and white printed pages.

It's only a minute later when he talks without diverting his gaze.

"Your sister is in her room, researching her major to get a headstart on a typical syllabus."

"Smart," he comments with disinterest and nibbles on his upper lip.

"Taehyung, how was your attendance in college?" he folds the newspaper and curiously peeks at his son, who is doing a poor job at hiding his nerves.

"It was alright–"

"Lying is a sin, son," his movements are aristocratic when he leans his chin on his fist. "Don't lie."

"I'm not," he stammers and his eyes flicker, "it was bad at the beginning of the year, but I fixed it."

His father pinches the bridge of nose where his frames lie. "I love your sister, Taehyung," he sighs and takes off his glasses, "I want her to do well. I've given up on you, but her? She can accomplish great things if you're not there to influence her. You're a bad influence. Are you following me?"

Taehyung nods dumbly with a racing heart before registering his words and shaking his head. "What?" he blurts. "I used to help her with her homework all the time–"

"You were home once every month."

"Just because you didn't see me doesn't mean I didn't see her," he coldly says. That's not entirely accurate, but it is true that he saw you more than he saw his parents before he started living here again. For you.

His father is taken aback, offended as he scoffs, "You avoided me and your mother, and yet have the face to stay in our home?" He stands up and passes the coffee table that was Taehyung's only barrier to hover over him with distance. "I expected so much more from you, but you can't even do the bare minimum. An adult without a stable job, respectable girlfriend, and embarrassing grades. I'm ashamed to have raised such a boy, for I can't even call you a man."

Taehyung abruptly stands but he continues, "If you can't even pay rent, go back to that landfill you came from."

"I have to pay rent to live with my family?" He's livid and his hands shake by his sides; they're taking you away from him because what? He isn't the son they wanted him to be?

"You've made it clear that the only thing keeping you here is my daughter," he blindly points at the closed door of your room, "and you will have to try much harder to see her again. Get your life together, and you can come back."

Taehyung's face is heated with anger from the injustice. "What the fuck?! This is such bullshit; you're kicking me out?"

His father frowns at his language, growling, "Taehyung! I will not let you drag her down that path with you. When you stop destroying everything you touch, I'll gladly let you live here."

Destroy? He hasn't done any harm to anyone—especially not you. He knows he's self-destructive, but it doesn't extend to his environment. If he fails, it's his failure, but his father takes it personally instead of encouraging him to do better.

The importance of reputation and success in this family enrages him; he's aware that he's not much of an affectionate person either, but a little love wouldn't hurt to witness in the household.

Instead of defending himself or speaking his mind, he obliges bitterly.

"You need to get laid," are his last words before he slams the door and opens the zipper bag to pop a pill. Ecstasy isn't so fun when you're not around, but he can use the distraction. It's been a bad day.

He flips off a stray cat idling around the garden before casually leaving the property.

—————

Studying isn't fun for you, never has been, never will be. Though you hate every second of it, it does give you something to do to make time pass faster. You've been tutoring yourself about things you'll learn sooner or later anyway, but you guess it doesn't hurt to have to study less when the time comes.

You check the time. It's approaching night at 9 PM, and your father wouldn't protest against a break now, hopefully. He only suggested that you should start studying, but you know what his suggestions really mean.

Do it, or get shamed into doing it with subtle glances.

As if that isn't enough, he constantly checked up on you throughout the day. He wasn't exactly giving you a choice, which irks you.

But that's done and over with, and there's a more pressing matter at hand: where is Taehyung? You heard bits and pieces of the argument, but you couldn't get the whole scoop. You worry he's going to go back to his old habits of never being here, rarely seeing you. He would've been hanging out with you six hours ago out of routine... It can't just be you being clingy. Something happened.

You: are you coming home tonight?

The response takes a few minutes.

taehyung: nop

taehyung: but i am coming to ur room

taehyung: cuz ik u cant sleep without me 😖

You: actually the opposite but ok lol

You: when are you coming

taehyung: whenever u want uwu

You: uwu...?

You: just come before it gets too late

—————

So that was a lie. It's 1 AM and still no word from Taehyung. Okay, maybe you're just being clingy now, but it's unlike him not to be clingy. Maybe he wanted to cool off for a long time after his tak with your step-dad, or simply wanted to hang out with his friends after spending all of his time with you.

That makes sense. What doesn't is the slide of your window and shuffling of your curtains. You instantly sit up in your bed and clutch your blanket closer. You watch a silhouette enter your room as you pick up your limp, your tense muscles relaxing only when you recognize the intruder. You put down the lamp with a click of your tongue, ignoring the relief in your pounding heart.

"Hey," he stupidly grins at you. He looks disheveled, clothes untucked and wrinkled, and from the little light you have, you can see his redshot eyes.

"There's also the door," you remark sassily. "Are you um... high?"

He shrugs and crawls in your bed, dismissive as usual. You both make an effort to keep your voices quiet.

"I talked to mom earlier," you ease into the discussion until he butts in.

"That's great."

You roll your eyes and prop an elbow to look down at him. His head lies on his hands while staring at you, mood strangely upbeat. He's definitely high.

"She was a little sad about something, and I know it involves you. I heard you talking to–" You're interrupted with a lingering peck, a little rough in its force but not unwelcomed.

"I've missed kissing you. Shouldn't you be asleep, by the way?"

Recovering from the unexpected attack, you reply, "It's not that late. I don't have to wake up early."

"You shouldn't ruin your sleep schedule," he tucks a hair strand behind your ear without taking his eyes off of you. "Staying up is hard to stop once you start."

"Yeah, you're a great example," you joke with a quiet giggle. Whispering with him feels intimate in a heart fluttering way. His heart pangs with a feeling he can't put a finger on. "You didn't answer my question."

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb, I'm really curious. What happened with dad?"

"A lot of things happen with dad," he shrugs, "sometimes we play catch–"

"Taehyung," you give him a pointed look, and he giggles.

"You're right, he'd never play catch with me." He groans as he stretches in your bed before trapping you with his arms on either side of you in one motion. You don't know what he's trying to do, but you watch him above you in amusement. "No offence, but when is your mom not sad when my dad is around?" he laughs with a huff.

"That's rude, Tae," you remark seriously, "she's happy when you're around."

Taehyung's smile falters like yours, his happy guise crumbling when he says, "Are you?"

"Pfft," you roll your eyes, "What do you think? I was up waiting for you."

Ah. That's not a very good influence.

"I'm here now," he whispers, "go to sleep. It's okay, I won't do anything, I know you worked hard today."

You agree with a yawn and nod. But even in your sleepy state, you can read the room—Taehyung is especially attentive of his tone and volume aside from being so tense. "Are you alright?"

"I'm in and on ecstasy," he falls back on his former spot, "I can't not be alright."

"Taehyung, I haven't seen you all day–"

"Yeah, because I didn't want to be here," he looks at you dead in the eye, "and I don't want you to be here."

You blink rapidly, slightly shaking your head in confusion, "What are you saying?"

"Move in with me."

He's met with cold silence, so he persuades persistently, "Don't you want to get away from here? You'll have so much more freedom with me, and I can help you with your assignments and everything. It'll be perfect."

"I— do you... Where?" Taehyung is high and he doesn't know what he's saying is what you believe because this is so out of the blue, so irrational, but he describes it like it's utopia; you are not completely against the idea.

"I have enough money from drug dealing to rent an apartment, and you can tell dad that you want to move out to be like an adult or whatever, that you have a stable job, without mentioning me," he rambles, and his dilated pupils are more noticeable up close; it slightly puts you off.

"Wh-what about mom?"

He scoffs, "If she wants out, she can get her second divorce. Don't worry about them; after all, they're apparently the only real adults here," he relates back to not being worthy of being called a man. You shift away from him little by little. "Just trust me."

The phrase is triggering for you, a reminder of the time you were tricked into trusting him moments before your trauma. "We'll talk about this when you're sober," you meekly say, avoiding eye contact.

A wicked smile grows on his face, "I can't wait, princess."

[bridgyrose]

Angst prompt 226 (Emerald to Cinder) “Please let me help you! All you do is push me away! You need help, and I’m trying to give that to you!”

(A continuation from this post)

Emerald sighed and took Cinder’s arm, stopping her from opening the pill bottle. “Please, if you wont let Ruby help you, then let me. All you’ve been doing is pushing me, pushing everyone you know away. You need help and we are all trying to give it to you.” Her voice remained calm, albeit shaky while she watched Cinder. 

Cinder pulled away from Emerald and turned away from her. “That’s because none of you can help me. You and Ruby just… dont understand. Everything hurts now.” She looked at her prosthetic, wincing as she moved those fingers. “Neither of you have any idea how much this all hurts. I need these. I need to take them to feel… human again.” 

“But you arent you when you take so many. Just look at yourself!” 

Cinder faced the mirror on the door, looking at herself a bit more. She was thinner than she had been a month ago when Ruby kicked her out. Her right arm shook, scars lined her arm from other sources to dull the pain. Even her skin seemed paler than it used to. “Ruby doesnt care anyway. She kicked me out of our place…” 

“Because you kept refusing to get treatment!” Emerald frowned and pulled Cinder to her. “She wants you to be you again! She took you to the doctor. They lowered your prescription dose. She took you to therapy, which you kept ditching! She dealt with this for three months! She hates seeing you like this!” 

Cinder winced at each word.”If she cared she’d let me-” 

“She does care about you, you dumbass!” Emerald smacked the pill bottle out of Cinder’s hands and started walking out of the room. “She calls me every night to ask how you’re doing. She wants to let you back into her life again, but not like this! Do you even remember the last time you were awake long enough to hold a conversation with her? The last time you even tried to show her that you care about her? She can only do so much for you when you’re like this. She spent the last six months dropping gigs so she could take care of you! The only thing she refused to do with you was put you into the hospital for your own safety because she felt that would be a betrayal to you!” 

Cinder went quiet as she listened to Emerald, sitting down on her bed. The last few months all seemed like a blur to her. She remembered overdosing on pills and using dust to take the pain away, passing out shortly after only to wake up a day or two later. But she never noticed the pain that Ruby felt. Or the rest of her friends when they saw her…

Emerald sighed and leaned against the doorway. “You have an appointment with a new therapist tomorrow. They’re a counselor for the local rehab facility and they’ll determine if that’s where you need to go. I cant keep doing this. How Ruby kept this up for so long, I’ll never understand. But… after tomorrow, if you cant commit to starting to make a change, I’m checking you into the psych ward where it’ll be someone’s job to keep an eye on you. I know you’re in pain, but there are other ways to fix this. Maybe someone there can help you.” 

Cinder watched as Emerald walked off. She laid down and curled up on the bed, shaking as pain ran through her shoulder. She knew Ruby and Emerald were right. She couldnt keep living like this. She stared at the pill bottle laying on the ground and slowly reached to it. Just one more time wouldnt hurt...

[crocodilenialledfics]

story page // masterlist // wattpad

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Six: You could bring the devil to his knees

word count: 5299

warnings: contains swearing, mentions of violence, sexual content, and drug use 

“Always with this midtown shit,” Luca mocked. “What, Brooklyn isn’t good enough for you?”

“Actually it’s not,” Rosalind agreed, eyes flicking to Niall’s. “Brooklyn is boring and I’ve got to get my thrills some how since I’m not allowed to do my fucking job.”

Niall gave her a subtle smirk, the one that gave Rosalind flashbacks to when he’d find himself between her legs, looking up at her with his devilish grin. Rosalind could kill him, looking at her that way with so many people around.

“And who’s this dickhead you’re getting your thrills from?” Luca demanded, hands on his hips. “Since it’s some big secret.”

“Just an asshole from Brooklyn,” Rosalind told him, the nonchalance in her voice made Niall chuckle, turning toward the door.

Rosalind’s recovery was slow and painful, but worst of all, it was boring. She’d spent weeks in bed, hardly able to even sit up. As her wound healed, another one grew. Niall was twisting the knife in her gut with each passing moment they spent together. 

The softness he offered her in touches and kisses. It was enough to open Rosalind up from the inside out. She’d craved it, touches like that, her whole life. She was never a child, not even when she was one. She’s never gotten the softness. 

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Niall had been coming around the shop more and more. It aggravated her, the way him and Luca got along. The laughs and jokes they shared, Rosalind wanted to burst both of their bubbles.

She wouldn’t, though. Her anger management was a challenge and she’d admit that to no one. The self control was hard, she learned. Rosalind’s favorite thing was instant gratification and anything that didn’t give her that sent her into a fit that ruined a lot of good things. 

Every day was a challenge for Rosalind but she was grateful to be back at work, mind occupied on other things. Luca held Rosalind back, making sure she didn’t dive in head first like she usually did. 

“I can go with you to Roger’s,” Rosalind murmured, arms crossing over her chest as she looked at all the eyes on her. The ones she didn’t want to see were Niall’s. 

Their deal with Rogers included both Rosalind and Niall. A loan taken out on both of their accounts. Rogers was notorious for pulling stunts which is why Luca was going in her place. It didn’t make her any less mad.

“It’s better that you just stay here,” Luca explained, tugging his jacket on. “Don’t want anything to happen to you, Roz.” 

“So I’m just supposed to sit around here all day doing absolutely nothing?” Rosalind demanded, eyes flicking between Niall and Luca, almost daring them to speak.

“The last time you went, things got physical,” Niall responded, and unsureness to his voice. Rosalind wished he wouldn’t of said that because was there a logical reason he would know that? 

“Yeah you had those bruises for weeks, Roz,” Luca added. “Just sit this one out, please?” 

Rosalind would be lying if she said collecting the money owed to her wasn’t her favorite part. The rush she got from every situation was what she lived for, what got her here in the first place. 

“You’re no good to us if you’re dead,” Luca told her, looking up at her from across the room. “Then I’ll be in charge? Or even worse, Gio? Nah, Roz. No one does this better than you.”

“Fine,” Rosalind conceded, sitting down at the desk. “Don’t fuck this up,” she warned. “Get the money and leave. He’s a sick fuck, likes to talk and shit. Don’t buy into it or else next thing you know, you’ve put down 10 large on some bogus stock that’ll go under before you walk out the door.”

Niall watched Rosalind, the offhanded way she mentioned it all. He thought he should be scared, the way she calculated everyone and everything. No less, it was a person she’d spent less than a couple hours with, tops. 

“Did you hear me?” Rosalind asked, pulling Niall from his thoughts. 

“Yeah,” Niall nodded. 

“Okay,” Rosalind muttered. “If I’m not here when you get back it means I’m in midtown. Staying up there a few days, I think.”

“Always with this midtown shit,” Luca mocked. “What, Brooklyn isn’t good enough for you?” 

“Actually it’s not,” Rosalind agreed, eyes flicking to Niall’s. “Brooklyn is boring and I’ve got to get my thrills some how since I’m not allowed to do my fucking job.”

Niall gave her a subtle smirk, the one that gave Rosalind flashbacks to when he’d find himself between her legs, looking up at her with his devilish grin. Rosalind could kill him, looking at her that way with so many people around. 

“And who’s this dickhead you’re getting your thrills from?” Luca demanded, hands on his hips. “Since it’s some big secret.”

“Just an asshole from Brooklyn,” Rosalind told him, the nonchalance in her voice made Niall chuckle, turning toward the door. 

“Well why don’t you bring him ‘round,” Luca offered. “Wanna shake his hand for puttin up with you and your volatile mood swings.” 

“He’s awfully busy,” Rosalind assured them, sitting down at the desk. “Now get the fuck out of here before Rogers gets pissed. Remember what I said.”

Rosalind watched the two of them walk out, knowing full well they were trouble put together. She knew Luca would come back later talking about what a guy Niall was and Rosalind would hate it. She wouldn’t say anything, though. 

There was no logical reason to hate Niall so vehemently. He was a good guy, a strong head on his shoulders, and he was honest and loyal. Thus, the perfect man, a man she could be proud of. All of that, though, Rosalind wasn’t quite ready to talk about nor admit aloud. 

She settled for keeping her lips sealed, finishing the little bit of desk work she had before traipsing off to midtown like she’d said. Her gut told her Niall would be around soon, mouth moving a million miles a minute. Rosalind was waiting for him, too, hoping he’d come. 

Rosalind found herself stuck in the hallway outside of her door, talking to Tony. She felt trapped in the small talk, wanting to escape it all. She went out to walk around the city a bit, grab a magazine or two and tony caught her on her floor. It’s like he always knew. 

“I hear you’ve got a man,” Tony told her, a ring to his voice that annoyed her. 

“That’s quite personal,” Rosalind told him, shifting on her feet. “And I don’t want to be disturbed. It’s been a long couple of months for me I need to-“

“Oh fuck!” Tony exclaimed. “Yeah, you got shot outside Al’s. I heard about that. Everything okay with that?” 

“Fine,” Rosalind nodded. “Everything is fine.” 

“Well alright,” Tony nodded. “Call if you need anything.” 

Rosalind slipped away from him, into her room, feeling relieved. She grabbed the bottle of wine, her magazines and went into the bathroom where she started the bath. 

Rosalind was never big on baths. She lacked the time and patience. Since her recovery, it was one of the best parts of her night. It helped with the anger, sitting and thinking alone. She did believe it would.  

Through her therapy, Rosalind realized her anger came from within, at the lack of time she had for herself. At first, she thought it was a crock, but after re-examining her life, there was truth to it all. 

Rosalind was well into her soak when she heard the door snick closed. “Roz,” Niall called out. “It’s me.” 

Rosalind didn’t respond, head turning to the door. Niall appeared in the doorway, though. Knuckles bloody, a gash on his cheek and Rosalind swore she’d kill Roger’s the next time she saw him. 

“Fuck,” Rosalind mumbled. 

“Well I laughed at an inappropriate time,” he declared, leaning against the doorway. “And I almost cant blame him for it. Hurts like a bitch, though.” 

“Laughing isn’t a reason to fuck up someone’s face,” Rosalind muttered, sitting up, water sloshing around her. 

“It is when you’re psychotic,” Niall chuckled, sitting down beside the tub. “I’m just glad you didn’t go.” 

Rosalind wished she would’ve been there to get her hands on him. He was one of the names on her list of people that had it out for her. She wouldn’t put it past him, the way he always played dirty. 

“Anyways,” Niall mumbled, head leaning back against the wall. “That fucker downstairs, Tony. Almost got into a fistfight with him. Trying to tell me you weren’t expecting anyone. I said our rule is I tell ya her name and number and come up but the prick pushed me so I punched him. I told him if he ever put his hands on me again, I’d make a hero outta him.” 

“Fuck,” Rosalind laughed, shaking her head. “It’s like you always have to cause a scene.” 

“It’s ridiculous that everyone wants to test me,” he muttered. “And keep me from you? Yeah fuckin right. The traffic was shit on the bridge and then they try to tell me I can’t come up. No fuckin way.” 

Rosalind chuckled at that, shifting back, knees bent. She let out a breath, eyes fluttering a bit. Niall watched her, eyes gazing over the sharpness of her neck, just picturing the skin beneath the water. There was no one he’s ever wanted more. At any given moment, it was safe to say that he wanted her. Bad. 

“But you know that tony guy?” Niall asked, further pressing the subject. 

“Yeah we dated in high school,” Rosalind murmured, sliding her feet until her toes poked out of the water. “Nothing major. Every time I come he tries a bit too hard.” 

“There’s a million decent hotels around here if he’s a problem, why do you still come here?” Niall asked, waiting for her to say the words he wanted to hear. A confession of some type.  

“Some of the guys come here,” Rosalind shrugged. “It’s good for business. And close to the casino. Lots of famous faces walk through here.”

“I know but why do you come?” Niall asked, the emphasis on her making her eyes flick to his. 

After a long moment, Rosalind finally answered him. “Tony and I loved each other. Or so he thought. After high school I was lined up to work odd jobs for my father’s friends and tony was going off to community college. The thought of it made me sick. I hated it. The college thing. Tony’s dad was best friends with my dad and it didn’t make sense how he didn’t want to be just like his father. We fought, I punched him, we broke up.” 

Niall hummed, not giving her a sound response to what she shared. It wasn’t as bad as he feared. He thought maybe Tony and her were close the way Niall and her were close or a million other things that ended with Rosalind in bed with someone that wasn’t him. 

“What?” Rosalind asked, at the way he was staring so hard at her. It made her uncomfortable for a number of reasons. 

“Nothing,” Niall shook his head, a set of words that would surely get him a black eye on the tip of his tongue. “You guys fuck still?” 

“No,” Rosalind responded, annoyed but not angry. That’s how he knew it was the truth. Her anger came when she tried to lie or mask her feelings in a way that was impossible. 

“You fuck anyone?” Niall asked, eyes focused on her face. “Else,” he added. 

Rosalind met his eyes, eyebrows furrowing. “So if I answer that and ask you the same you’ll tell me the truth?” 

“Yeah,” Niall responded. “I would.”

“Okay well before I answer, you should know that about a month ago, Lanzo saw you hanging around with some guys from Ralph’s in the back room at that club on west. Some blonde girl all over you,” Rosalind told him. 

“That was...” Niall trailed off, a loss of words. 

“That was whatever,” Rosalind finished for him. “And I don’t care who you fuck around with but to come around here asking what I do in the time that I’m not with you isn’t any of your fucking business. If you asked to start a new fight with me, don’t. I’m tired.”

“I just wanted to know,” Niall explained, voice quiet. “That was like a one time thing, though. We just did like hands stuff, you know.” 

“I don’t care what you did,” Rosalind laughed, standing up. She unplugged the drain, and grabbed her towel off the rack. Niall’s eyes followed her. “I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know.”

“Well I don’t fuck anyone else,” Niall told her. “Haven’t in a while.” 

Rosalind didn’t answer him, stepping out of the tub. She dried herself off, tugging her robe on. Niall followed her into the room, watched her push the balcony doors open to let the cool air in. She leaned down, pulling a baggy out of her suitcase, a couple blunts. 

Niall followed her out onto the balcony, dying for her answer. Rosalind sat down, picking up her lighter to light the blunt. Niall watched her, blunt between her lips, lighter in hand. What he’d give to have her like this forever. 

Only when she took a hit of the blunt did she finally answer him, passing it his way. “I don’t know what answer you want from me, but even if it is the one you want to hear, it isn’t because of what you think.”

“Okay,” Niall responded, almost dumbly. 

“I don’t fuck anyone else. I haven’t since we started doin this,” Rosalind told him, relaxing against the chair. “Fucking more than one person is confusing and messy and quite frankly, it’s disgusting. Just thinking about where your fingers have been is enough to make me want to throw up. So don’t tell me what you’ve been doing. I don’t want to know.”

“I told you I don’t fuck anyone else,” Niall argued. 

“Okay,” Rosalind retorted, rolling her eyes. “If that’s the story you’re sticking to.” 

Niall didn’t respond, passing her the blunt. Rosalind took a slow inhale, eyes fluttering. She let out a breath, passing it back to him, “gonna fuck me after this?”

“Dunno have to see if my other girlfriend- the blonde one is busy later or not. If she’s busy then yeah.” 

“That’s a sound way to get yourself a broken jaw,” Rosalind told him, shaking her head. “I might be in anger management but I still have a right hook that’ll make your head spin ‘round your neck like the cartoons.” 

Niall let out a chuckle, taking a hit. He handed it back to her, declaring, “that’s enough for me.”

Rosalind hummed, eyelids already a bit heavy. “Fuck, okay,” she murmured. “You ever thought about fucking out here?” 

Niall’s eyebrows raised, looking around the city skyline around them. Anyone could see them sitting there. If things weren’t so secret, he’d think about it. Niall let out a chuckle, standing up, “okay come on Roz.” 

Rosalind followed him back inside where he took his clothes off until he was underwear clad, pushing her onto the bed. Her robe fell open and Niall smirked down at her, finger slipping inside of her. 

“I don’t wanna be on the bottom tonight,” Rosalind told him, spreading her legs for him. She let her finger drift down, pressing at her clit. Niall watched her, not having it in him to tell her to stop. Seeing Rosalind touch herself turned him on in ways he didn’t think possible. 

“Keep touching yourself,” Niall told her, finding himself ducked down between her legs, watching her body move. 

“Really,” she mumbled at how boring that was. She wanted his mouth, or fingers on her. 

“Yeah it’s hot,” Niall told her, spreading her folds with his fingers. 

“Was hoping you’d put your mouth on me,” Rosalind told him, fingers disappearing as she sat up. 

“Don’t feel like it,” Niall told her, shrugging as he sat up. “You can ride my thigh, though.” 

“Don’t wanna ride your thigh, wanna ride your dick,” Rosalind told him, shrugging her robe all the way off her body. 

“Guess we’re at odds, then,” he shrugged, eyes trailing over her body. 

“So this is a negotiation,” Rosalind chuckled, nodding. “What is it that you want?” 

“I want you to make yourself cum,” he told her nudging her leg with his knee. “By yourself. Just want to watch you.” 

“That’s quite boring,” Rosalind answered. “It’s not even like I have any toys to make it fun. Just me and my fingers? Boring.”

“So?” 

“So save that for a rainy day,” Rosalind offered. “Back at my place.”

“Fine,” Niall gave in. “New negotiation. I wanna do anal.”

“Do you have any lube?” Rosalind asked, eyebrows raising, knowing full well that he didn’t. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, collapsing on the bed beside her. 

“Jesus,” Rosalind laughed, falling back on the bed. 

“Okay let me try to tie you up again,” Niall offered, appearing over her face, eyebrows furrowed. “No cheating this time.” 

“Then don’t tease me,” Rosalind retorted. “I hate to be teased.” 

“Just let me edge you a couple of times,” Niall offered, already working the belt out of the robe she was wearing. 

“No way,” Rosalind mumbled, shifting on the bed to sit up on her elbows. “No edging.” 

“Just one time,” Niall offered. “Come on, baby,” he honeyed, head tilting to the side. “Wanna see you begging for it. Close to the edge, crying out because you want it so badly. Sensitive skin all over, just begging for me to touch you.”

“No,” Rosalind breathed out, but her cheeks flushed thinking about it. 

“Ya sure?” He asked, eyebrow raising as he looked down at her. “Looks like maybe you want it too, Roz.”

“I might be convinced,” Rosalind offered. “After you kiss me a while.”

Niall let out a chuckle, nodding. “Come ‘ere.” 

Rosalind found herself straddling him to where her wet center rubbed against his underwear clad cock. She’d barely done anything and Niall was already breathless. 

“You’re the one that needs edged,” Rosalind told him, thumb brushing over his bottom lip as she rolled her hips against his. His eyes fluttered and he chuckled. 

“Maybe in the morning,” Niall offered, fingers wrapping around her hips, to grind her against him. 

Rosalind caught his lips in a desperate kiss, moaning against him. Niall licked into her mouth, the sounds sending him into a spiral. Rosalind began to think about a morning with him, what that meant. It was a passing thought, letting it leave her mind as fast as it entered. 

Niall kissed Rosalind until they were both breathless, panting against each other. It was hot and wet and with anyone else, she probably would have thought it was repulsive. With Niall, she was so desperate for more. A harder, messier, dirtier kiss with desperate hips brushing against each other. 

It felt like hours before Niall pulled away for good grabbing her wrists between them to tie them up. This time, the knots were tight leaving her no room to wiggle or move. Rosalind gave him a pout, looking up at him. 

Niall didn’t give in, nodding toward the bed. “Lay down, then.”

Rosalind let out a heavy sigh, licking her lips. She looked down at the bed, nodding slowly, “alright. Fine. But I’d like for it to be known that I won’t enjoy any second of this.”

“I’m sure you’ll enjoy a lot of seconds of this,” Niall told her, watching her lay down. He spread her legs wide putting her in full view. 

Niall started slow, kissing at her thighs open mouth kisses that had Rosalind sighing out. Without warning, one finger inside of her. Rosalind clenched around him, pulling him in and he almost called the whole thing off, ready to take her from behind. 

“Roz, baby,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her clit. “You’re so tight. Know you’re trying to tease me.” 

“I’d never,” Rosalind murmured to the ceiling, eyes shut. It was in her nature to tease, though. 

Niall didn’t tease Rosalind this time, beginning the assault on her most sensitive spots. He licked at her clit, reveling in the way her body moved. 

Rosalind’s legs spread wide, gasping out his name. It was music to his ears. One finger inside of her, and Rosalind groaned, the trench of it. It felt like forever since she’s had him. Two fingers in, and Rosalind writhed against the bed. 

Niall’s tongue on her clit, the constant pressure and the slow stretch of his fingers inside of her had her a mess on the sheets. She moaned, back arching off the bed. Niall’s hand on her stomach kept her grounded, hips pressing against the bed. 

Niall’s mind raced with thoughts about being the only person to have her in this way. He was the only one with his lips wrapped around her clit, fingers curling inside of her to make her gasp. It was just his. 

Niall ground his own hips against the bed, seeking some relief. He was painfully hard, humming against her dewy skin. Rosalind let out a particularly loud moan, thighs beginning to shake and that’s when he pulled away, sitting up to watch her. 

Rosalind let out a breath, looking down at him. She was unimpressed, he could tell. Rosalind dropped her legs to the bed, eyes slipping shut. “I hate you, for this,” she mumbled.  

“I’m sure,” Niall agreed, crawling up her body to kiss at her neck until he met her lips. He kissed her bruised lips, careful not to touch a single part of her body. 

Rosalind was desperate for it, though, hands sliding down to palm at his hard cock. Niall chuckled against her lips, pulling away. “What’re you playing at?” 

“Think I wanna suck you off,” Rosalind told him, eyebrows furrowed. “Isn’t that weird.” 

“For you, yeah,” he chuckled, sitting back. “Ya want to, though?” 

“I think so,” Rosalind murmured, letting out a sigh. 

Niall hummed, licking his lips. “Alright, lover. On your knees.” 

Rosalind let out another heavy sigh, sitting up. She got onto the floor, situating herself on her knees, hands falling to her lap. Niall palmed himself, just looking at her. Her red cheeks, puffy lips. She’s never looked so good. 

Niall scoffed forward, shoving his underwear down over his knees. Rosalind looked up at him, shaking her head. “This is gonna be hard, you know. Might need some help.” 

“I’ll help,” Niall told her, pushing the hair from her eyes. “Long as you’re a good girl.”

Rosalind rolled her eyes at him, letting out a laugh. “Don’t push it.” 

Niall laughed, shrugging his shoulders. “I just wanted to see what would happen.”

Niall reached around, gathering her black hair into his hand. Rosalind sat up, eyelashes fluttering at him. Niall let out a groan, wrapping his hand around himself, “swear you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, Roz.”

“Why is it that you’re only nice and sweet when I’m about to suck you off?” Rosalind asked, shaking her head. “Seems suspicious to me.”

“I decline to comment,” Niall told her, tightening his grip in her hair. “Open up, would ya.” 

Rosalind pursed her lips for a moment, holding back her eye roll. She licked her lips, straightening up, eyes on Niall’s. She let out a breath, opening her mouth. Niall gave her his smirk, resting the tip of his cock on her lips. 

The whole thing had Rosalind aching between her legs. Niall guiding her along, one hand in her hair, the other on his cock. Rosalind had to close her eyes, a moan falling from her mouth as she took him in deeper. Just the weight of him on her tongue. 

“Good girl,” Niall grunted out, eyes glued to her face. “Fuck, Roz. That’s it.” 

Rosalind hollowed her cheeks out, eyes pinched shut as they began to water. She took him down though, until he hit the back of her throat. Niall cursed under his breath, hips stuttering. 

Niall could count on one hand the amount of times Rosalind had sucked him off and each time left his mind in a haze. This was no exception. Rosalind bobbed her head until Niall pulled her off, groaning as he did. 

Rosalind wiped the back of her mouth with her bound wrist, eyebrows furrowed. “Why’d you stop?” 

“Didn’t wanna cum,” he told her, watching her with an intent that should have made her nervous. “Can’t decide what I want to do.” 

Rosalind let out an unimpressed sigh, sitting back on her haunches. “This is why you’re never in charge.” 

“Well fuck me, Roz. You’ve said no to everything I wanna do,” Niall grunted, shoulders falling as he looked down at her. 

“How’s about you untie me,” Rosalind smiled, head tilting to the side. “And let me ride you.” 

“Roz we get it. You have thighs of steel. You can ride dick long after I cum. No need to show off all the damn time,” Niall mocked, pulling her up to her feet by the wrists. 

Niall pulled her in for a kiss, hands gripping her hips. Rosalind kissed him back feverishly, desperate for something. Anything. The kiss didn’t last very long. Niall pulled away, licking his lips. “Okay, Roz. Hands and knees.”

“Niall,” she all but whined. 

“You said I was in charge,” he argued, eyebrows raising. 

“But...” she trailed off, shoulders falling. “I hate it like that.”

“Why?” He laughed. 

“I can’t see you,” she explained, a softness fo her voice that made Niall ache. 

“That why you like to ride me?” He asked, already beginning to change his mind.  

“I like it when you watch me,” she told him, just dying to kiss him, the way he was looking at her. 

With a flutter of her eyelashes, Rosalind has changed his mind. Niall’s back hit the headboard just as Rosalind straddled him, her wet center brushing over his hard cock. Niall groaned at that, gripping her hips. 

“You gonna untie me?” Rosalind asked. 

“In your dreams,” Niall murmured, pulling her in for a kiss. Rosalind rolled her hips against his and he groaned. 

“Come on Niall,” she whispered, nosing along his jaw. “Get the condom.”

“Lover,” he said, “I’m not going to cum in you, if that’s what you think. We’re just getting started.”

Rosalind watched him, not believing it. He lifted her hips just enough to slip inside of her. The air left her lungs just as Niall groaned, eyes slipping shut. “Fuck, baby,” he breathed out. “You feel so good.”

Rosalind let out a moan, as Niall lifted her hips again, getting them into a rhythm. Niall kissed at Rosalind’s neck, teeth scraping against her throat. She felt seconds away from cumming. It was all so overwhelming. The intimacy. The teeth on her neck. Rosalind cried out and Niall pulled her off of him. 

“Niall,” she begged, chest heaving. “Please. I feel like I’m dying.” 

“You’re not dying,” he murmured against her neck. He slid his finger between her legs, thumbing over her clit. “What is it you were working? Delayed gratification.”

“Not like this,” she whispered, eyes slipping shut, as a moan escaped her lips. “I’m hating every second of this.”

“Your moans sound an awful lot like enjoying,” he teased, sliding his hand over her hips. “I’m thinking of all the ways to get you back for all the times you‘ve kicked me out of your place.”

Rosalind breathed out a laugh, shaking her head, “not fair. I’ll never get to cum.”

Niall smiled above her, letting out his own laugh. Without a warning, Niall lifted her hips again, sliding inside of her. Rosalind moaned, stretching around him as she bottomed out. 

Niall caught her lips in a kiss. It was wet and messy and it had Rosalind groaning against his lips. She wanted more more more. Her hands on him, to feel him everywhere. She whined against his lips, feeling the overwhelming urge to cry. 

“Niall,” she begged, pulling away. “Please,” she whispered, a tenderness to her voice that he’d never heard before. “Please, I need to cum so badly. Please.”

Niall’s nose brushed against hers as he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She whimpered against his lips, eyes stinging. Niall pulled away, telling her, “lay down on your back.”

“Niall,” she whined, teetering on the edge of anger. 

“Easy, tiger,” he murmured, tapping her on the bum. “I need to get a condom.”

Rosalind let out an unsatisfied groan, disentangling herself from him. She laid down while Niall got off the bed, searching his pants pocket for a condom. 

Rosalind let her hands slip between her legs. She rubbed herself against her palm, letting out a sigh of relief. Niall pushed her hand away, straddling her, knees on either side of her thighs. “Roz, stop it,” he said, opening the condom. 

“You’re an asshole,” she said, unable to help herself. 

“I know,” Niall chuckled, shaking his head. “And you’re a brat.”

“Can you let me cum now?” She asked, feeling herself calm down, the closer they were.  

“Maybe,” he nodded. 

“Can you untie me too?” She asked sweetly, eyelashes fluttering.  

“Afraid not,” he shook his head. 

“I wanna touch you,” Rosalind begged, holding up her wrists as if to prove it. “Wanna pull your hair and wrap my hands around your throat. I wanna grab your ass and-and leave scratches on your shoulders.”

Rosalind could tell Niall was teetering on the edge. He was going to give in. Rosalind wrapped her hands around his hard cock and he let out a breath, eyes fluttering. “Please,” she whispered, breathy and soft. 

“I hate you,” he mumbled, grabbing her wrists. He pushed her hands away. “Arms over your head.”

Rosalind groaned, lifting her arms nonetheless. Niall slid the condom over his aching cock, spreading her legs just enough to slide inside of her. Rosalind moaned, back arching slightly as she wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him impossibly closer. 

“Baby,” he murmured, nosing along her jaw. “Feel so good.”

All Rosalind could do was moan, pleasure coursing through her. She was desperate for relief after all the teasing he’d done. It was clear Niall was just as desperate, the way he he fucked into her good and hard. 

Rosalind was once again reminded that there would be no one after him that could compare. Her orgasm crashed over her in a sharp gasp and curling toes. Niall was right along with her, teeth barred against her shoulder. 

Niall collapsed beside her, tossing the condom into the waste basket. Rosalind let out a disgruntled sigh, rolling onto her side. “Niall,” she grunted. “Can you untie me?”

“Shit,” Niall laughed, sitting up on his elbows. “Sorry. Forgot.”

Rosalind rolled her eyes, extending her bound wrists toward him. Niall untied her, setting her sore wrists free. She couldn’t find it in herself to be angry about the marks left in her skin just yet. 

The urge overwhelmed her, so Rosalind kissed him, hands tangling in his hair to tug just enough to Niall’s breath to hitch in the back of his throat. It took everything in her not to press herself against him and rut just a little bit. 

That must have been character growth on Rosalind’s end, that she didn’t want to get him back. Niall, unwitting, was amused about her eager kiss. He let his hand slide down the curve of her back to settle at the bottom of her spine. The other, he pushed Rosalind’s sticky hair from her forehead. “Thanks,” he said. 

“Wasn’t easy letting you do that,” she told him, eyelashes fluttering at the softness of his touch. 

“I know,” he chuckled. “Did you enjoy it, though?”

“The ending, yeah,” Rosalind laughed, letting herself lay down beside him, just for a second. “In between stuff... not so sure.” 

“I enjoyed all of it,” Niall declared, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Favorite part was when you said please.”

“don’t go telling anyone that I said please,” Rosalind warned, sitting up. She tugged her robe on, standing up. “I’ll have no street cred.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Niall murmured, watching her walk off to the bathroom. This Rosalind was just for him to see.

//

taglist: @swasanfrancisco​ @halluciniall​ @coconutdawn​ @exoticniall​ @missy14us​

[crystallized-iron]

Fic Recs

I really don’t read as much as I should, but there have been some really great ones. MCU and X-Men recs under the read more.

I think... if I counted right, this is 25 recs here. I may have gotten carried away a little bit. Enjoy.

--- --- ---

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked by Kellyscams Rating: Explicit

Steve's just moved back to Brooklyn after spending ten years in California trying to make a life for himself as an artist right after high school. Having escaped to the other side of the country following the sudden death of his mother, Steve feels guilty about abruptly leaving all his friends for so long, unfulfilled, scared and nervous about started college at his age, and unbelievably lonely. So when he meets Bucky Barnes, a young sex-worker, at a bar the night before his first day of classes, temptations might be too high to resist.

One night paying for sex with the most sinfully gorgeous guy is nothing to brag to the papers about, huh?

S'not like he'll ever see him again anyway...

...Right?

And we pulled each other like gravity by hllfire Rating: Explicit

Erik accompanies Charles, Crown Prince of the Xavier Empire, to his first diplomatic meeting on the planet Themis, where he finds out something about the Prince and they end up talking about the past and how their paths had crossed before.

Fill for the Day 1 of Cherik Week: Space AU.

Bitter Sweet by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Bucky comes home from the war, finds out he has a daughter he never knew existed and now he must cope with life after the war while taking care of her.

Alternate timeline where Bucky's rescued after falling from the train, but Steve was never told and goes into the ice anyway.

Broken by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

It took months of therapy for Bucky to break his Winter Soldier conditioning, and Steve was there for him, encouraging him to talk about his past, his fears, his time as the Soldier. And Bucky talked about everything-- except why the barest mention of an Alpha makes him panic. When Steve brings Bucky home, Alpha!Tony is ready to welcome Bucky with open arms and wings, but Bucky can't look at him, can't be in the same room without his wings flaring out to keep the Alpha away, a broken Omega panicking in the presence of a strong Alpha. But Tony is a good Alpha, and the team pulls together to help Bucky, showing him what it means to be loved, to be healthy and whole, and one day when Tony holds his hand out, Bucky trusts him enough to take it. And Bucky realizes that with a family behind him, with the safety hes found in the Omegas, the companionship from the Betas, and the unconditional love from the Alpha--HIS alpha, he isn’t broken at all. But with a team like the Avengers, tragedy is never far off, and this one rocks the family to their core. How can they fix the broken pieces of their lives when their Alpha is gone?

Close to you, I’m home by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

As Erik is searching the manor, he finds something strange in the attic. He knows that he needs to go to Charles, if he wants some answers. After all, why would there be a nest in a small dusty attic room, when there were countless rooms with ridiculously soft beds all around the manor?

Goodbye Brothers by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

A look at Dum-e during the events of Iron Man 3 and beyond.

It’s Not What You Think... by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Bucky walks in on Tony dirty talking in the lab but it's not what he thinks.

Letters to Bucky by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

Stuck in rehab after a near-fatal accident, Tony reaches out via letters to a soldier overseas, and Bucky is more than happy to write back, drawn to Tony for a reason he can't quite name. One or two letters turn into a years worth, then come the phone calls, with Tony quickly realizing that Bucky's voice, with that rolling Brooklyn accent might be his new favorite sound. When Bucky shows up unannounced at Tony's door, one thing leads to another and maybe a confession or two is made. But Bucky's tour overseas isn't over yet, not even close, and they have months more of distance between them. Then Bucky disappears, missing in action, and Tony doesn't know if he will ever get his soldier back. And if Bucky DOES make it home, will he be the same boy from Brooklyn who sent Tony love poems, or has his time away and his injuries changed him for good?

BONUS CHRISTMAS CHAPTER ADDED 12/10/18

Let your light shine by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Inspired by Moomin TV series from 1990 and the episodes “The invisible friend” and “The invisible Child”. It’s the start of the summer break and Erik, a 13 year old boy living in a small house with his mother in the outskirts a small(ish) English town, is stuck in home because of the rain. The evening seems to get interesting though, when a strange man arrives with an invisible telepath boy and asks them to help him become visible again.

Loving a Vampire by Feelingsinwinter Rating: Mature

In the 19th century, Tony is a greatly appreciated and skilled inspector. His dire need to find the murderers and killers to every case he is given is well known among the people and while it doesn’t always help him to get the answers he needs, at least it makes it easier to convince people to talk to him. When Mary Ann Nichols is found dead, Tony Stark doesn’t know the investigation will put his life in harm’s way, put his marriage with one James Buchanan Barnes on shaky ground and shove him in a situation he wasn’t ready to face.

When a murderer does their best to earn the name of a monster, Tony is ready to do anything to stop them.

My beacon in a storm that is the world by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Erik hated this planet. And he had seen a few along the years as a pilot of the most troublesome research team that had ever existed.

Or, they find a new alien species and Erik catches a bad case of feelings ragarding his relationship with Charles.

Of Broken Dreams and Mended Hearts by Kellyscams Rating: Explicit

When the House of Barnes is left in massive debt after the death of George Barnes, their oldest son and heir, Bucky, is forced to sacrifice his own hopes and dreams by entering an arranged married to Steve Rogers. Steve seems kind enough, has a prominent job in the government, and was even voted Society's Best Catch. But the House Rogers is significantly higher in status than Bucky's family, which means Bucky is marrying up in Society, and marrying up doesn't only come with rewards, it also comes with certain...expectations and losses--some of which Bucky might be willing to do anything to avoid. And those opportunities might come his way.

Unless, of course, he actually starts falling in love with his new husband...

Pirates Heart by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Explicit

The 1700s, the Golden Age of Piracy, and Captain Steve Rogers has all he wants: a ship, a loyal crew, Bucky at his side, and the horizon offering a new adventure everyday. But an impulsive kiss gone wrong leads to a marriage between Steve and Tony Stark, and now Steve doesn't know what to do about ANYTHING. Steve loves Bucky, but something about Tony draws him in. Tony is too innocent for this life, but he picks up a sword anyway. Bucky is Steve's, but when he offers his hand to Tony and now the three of them are something new. When the truth about Steve's mission to ruin the Stark name comes out, Tony runs away, leaving Steve and Bucky behind in search of answers to the secrets hidden from him his whole life-- about his company, about Uncle Obie, about his parents death.

Steve and Bucky cant abandon their mission against Stane and Tony cant deal with the answers he finds in New York. Is this the end? Is Tony gone forever? Or will he leave his old life and return to the sea and the Pirates that hold his heart?

**BONUS CHAPTER ADDED 2/4/19!!** **BONUS CHAPTER ADDED 5/15/20!!**

Random Encounter by g33kyclassic Rating: Explicit

Charles is just a typical London commuter...until he sees the most gorgeous man on earth standing a few feet away from him.

Regret is in the past by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Six years after first class, the cold war escalates and the missiles are fired, destroying the world as it was known. Those who managed to live, fight for survival against each other and against the living dead. One would think that the mutants have advantage, but Shaw was wrong in his assumption that the radiation would make them stronger. On the contrary, it made them weaker, their powers only half of what they used to be. In this world of waste land, Erik and what’s left of the brotherhood are trying to survive. It’s five years later, they are cornered by the zombies while they were trying to gather supplies in abandoned town. The situation seems hopeless, until a silver haired boy appears out of nowhere and tells them to be ready to run.

Small Indiscretions (Can Save the World) by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Captain Steve Rogers has defeated the Red Skull but lost his own life in the process, leaving behind a grieving Peggy and guilt-ridden Howard Stark. After looking to Howard for comfort following her great loss, Peggy finds herself facing the scariest mission she’s ever encountered: motherhood.

While this news is devastatingly unwanted for Peggy, Howard sees this as a golden opportunity to give his bride Maria the child she never thought she could have. With a little convincing and promises that she won’t have to be involved with the child’s life if she doesn’t want to be, Peggy agrees to keep and have the baby for the Starks, own personal comfort be damned. She wasn't planning on it being so hard, or finding someone she didn't want to lie to along the way. AKA what if Peggy Carter was more than just Tony Stark’s badass aunt?

The Consequence of Hiding by g33kyclassic Rating: Explicit

Charles is completing his PhD at Oxford when he finds himself in dire need of a new job to support himself and Raven. Erik is a grumpy Mutant Student Counsellor who has yet to fill his student assistant position. Enter Prof. MacTaggert and her matchmaking ways to bring her student and her friend together (in platonic, professional compatibility, of course). Will things stay platonic for Charles and Erik? Only time will tell.

The Funeral by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Teen

Tony attends the viewing and funeral of his parents. The other members of the company's board are not amused by his actions there.

The Risks by OneWithoutAName Rating: Teen

Inspired by post on Tumblr It takes Erik by surprise how Mystique doesn't seem to remember just how much Charles has done and risked for them, for their kind. But it seems that Erik wasn't quite aware of the risks either.

The Robot Who Could Feel Pain by slightly_salty_ace Rating: Teen

In which Tony leaves Afghanistan more machine than human. Or rather, Iron Man leaves Afghanistan. To the world, Tony Stark is dead.

Or...

Steve is convinced that Iron Man is just a robot with sass because the future is a strange place and he's stopped questioning things.

But when someone from Tony Stark's past returns, putting Iron Man in danger, Steve is forced to start asking questions. Specifically questions about his feelings towards a certain red and gold robot.

The Shared Dream by TurtleTotem Rating: Teen

Charles's cryo-pod malfunctions and wakes him up a century before everyone else. Will he spend the rest of his life alone on a ship full of sleepers? (A Passengers AU.)

The Soldier by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Explicit - Read Warning and Tags!

There's something wrong with Bucky. Something very wrong and it may have dire consequences for his friends and loved ones.

Time Falls Away by NotEvenCloseToStraight Rating: Mature

The Battle of New York: Tony flies himself and the nuke through the wormhole and when his suit shuts down and he starts to fall, he knows he's going to die. But then he wakes up in an alley in Brooklyn, two strangers staring down at him in confusion and Tony is sure he is dreaming when he shakes hands first with pre-serum Steve Rogers, and then Bucky Barnes. Trapped in 1942, Tony befriends Steve, and falls in love with Bucky but America is at war, and Bucky and Steve ship out to join the cause. Tony knows all the stories about the Howling Commandos and knows what’s coming for the soldiers, and has to live through history as first Bucky falls, and then Steve disappears. Tony is left alone in the 40's, crying himself to sleep in the house he had shared with his best friend and his lover. But then he wakes up on the pavement in New York, the Hulk roaring in his face, Steve staring down at him, and he has to wonder if it was all a hallucination. When Tony fell through the sky, did he fall through time as well? Why does Steve act so cold towards him? Were he and Bucky really that happy together?

Did it all really happen, or is Tony in love with a life he can only have in his dreams?

We want the same thing by hllfire Rating: Mature

Charles is locked up underground, where his telepathy won't be a problem, deemed too dangerous now to be kept free. Erik pays a visit.

Fill for the Day 2 of Cherik Week: Dark!Charles.

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough by LadyDarkPhoenix Rating: Explicit - Read Warning and Tags!

In an alternative post Civil War, Clint and Bucky fell in love and tried to make a life together. But then Thanos happened and Clint embraced the darkness within himself trying to cope with all his loss.

This is how after Bucky returned, Clint still can't cope with what happened and who he's become. How even though he seems to have it all, his own mind is his now his greatest enemy. Bucky tries to help but how do you help someone that doesn't believe he should be saved?

[aceeddiekaspbrak]

Jumble of thoughts from my notes from ~nov/dec 2017

Contains canon typical references to teen sexuality, homophobia, and violence

so if we go off the idea that, for the bowers gang, everything that happened when they were twelve, with the junkyard and all, actually still happened that way but in 1985, how does that all turn out with out pat /dying/ in the end, and they live on to reach 1989?

Patrick’s able to clean out his fridge and comes back with his rags and all and really scrubs it, and stays away from it for a while. Can’t risk being caught breaking anymore rules especially when some kid like Henry can find out. But how henry found out keeps nagging at him, and he’s trying to stay away from Henry, too–so he doesn’t scare and go telling–, but it's harder because he needs to find out how he messed up and got caught in the first place so he doesn’t do it again.

(maybe he thinks about asking him, and then asking if he wants to see the freezer, since he seems like he might be into that shit, just to shove Henry in it and see how long he lasts. The fantasy keeps him occupied from asking for sometime)

When he finally goes to ask Henry when he’s alone, maybe winter that year, hoping six months is enough for Henry to get over himself. He hasn’t and just opens with, “What do you want ya’ fuckin’ pansy.”

Patrick knows he wouldn’t tell anybody directly, because then it would get back to why Henry had let him. And he probably wouldn't get anything out of pounding him either. Patrick wouldn’t mind if he did it anyways. So Patrick just asks him straight out how he knew. Henry would probably just do the douche bag ‘’wouldn’t you like to know‘’ thing twelve year olds do so well and leave.

There'd be some cold tension for a while. Patrick would probably start trying to play on Henrys good side, just to find out. But he asks maybe every few days at some point, Henry snaps and tells him if he keeps nagging him like some bitch he’s gonna beat him like he’s askin’ for. Pat says he wouldn’t mind. But he found out a rule, and asks just maybe once a month, and then eventually less and less.

Henry never tells him.

Maybe one time, last time Patrick asks him, its “did you see it? look in it?” 

Henry just thinks he’s fishing for how he knew again and starts to open his mouth to threaten, fist raising, when Patrick cuts in with: "Do you wanna see it?" in a way thats just a bit more concerning than usual for him.

Henry is curious because of that and his response is largely "I swear to god Hockstetter if this is some sort of faggy come on," and its maybe a year after the junkyard, and Pat hasn't experimented since, keeping true to staying away, but he has checked up on it frequently walking around town, to make sure its hinges are still intact and hasn’t been scrapped. he's thinking hes got to move it, soon, but no way pudgy little Hockstetters gonna be able to do that by himself. And it’s not that Henrys finding out stops bothering Patrick, but after awhile they might actually be the closest thing Patrick can recognize as friends. That's not exactly right, but the closest he’ll ever come to it. And eventually, Henry comes along to the fridge.

He doesn't get it. It doesn't do anything for him, not like it does Patrick, not even close on any front. But it’s not like he cares about Pat killin’ animals it doesn’t even really matter to him, and when he opens the door and it try’s to make a slow, breathless run for it, he’ll even help Patrick drag it back.

Now the fun in that he gets. They end up hunting together, maybe two years after the junkyard when Henry is 14, still small animals, when Vic and Belch have their fuckin jobs or some shit, and Henrys just wanting to get some anger out, since w/o pennywises influence, i dont think hed get to cutting letters into people just yet. Patricks not as much as into the chase with the animals they’re getting, usually just rabbits, birds, stray cats now, since Henry can’t go around as quietly as Patrick had with his box. Patrick however, really likes seeing them struggle in Henry's arms, before they shove them into crates to take to the fridge. The first time he sees Henry kill something, with his bare hands, he wrung some game birds neck just like it was nothing, he wasn’t expecting it and it wasn’t the plan and he brought his box all the way out here for it but he didn’t mind even though he broke his schedule. They just caught another, small rabbit to make up for it but it barely mattered he was so hard and Henry barely mentioned it and the memory got him hard for months. A long time after this has been going on, probably in lateish 1988, after a more exhausting and exhilarating hunt than expected, Henry lets Patrick do something about his arousal for the first time in earnest. He still punches him after, but Patrick doesn’t mind and Henry lets him get off to the blood too. They don’t bring it up, but it happens again a few months later, and it becomes an unspoken part of Patricks schedule.

This facilitates the relationship we see in the film, the two having more chemistry doing fucked up shit together. And eventually, when they reach a  better understanding what the consequences might be if they're found out–despite Derry being as weird as it is and Butch being a cop–they move the fridge into the neibolt house. They probably have to get at least Belch to help (he hopes they are gonna be hanging out there now, instead of the junkyard and shit, but the place is way creeper and he nopes out real quick, but not after his mostly joking question of stashing beer in the house fridge was shot down way to quickly and harshly to not be questionable. But he doesn't ask. Doesn't want to know.). Its only there for a little over a year before the events of the film, but they do hang out there. things seem to die quicker, though, and their escapes a deterred by being in the house, and Henry gets a little less out of that. There is something about the confusion though, that they cant just run straight out that is interesting. With kids missing and curfews being enforced its harder and harder to go out there, with animals, without drawing suspicion (real, or from their paranoid selves). So it doesnt truly get used much, So Ben Hanscom coming along when he did was a great outlet for the two.

>how does Henry know? maybe here it has something to do with his dad being a cop, or maybe when pat started hangin around him more Henry follows him, just to see what makes this freak tick, since hes so hard to read and has a reputation around school. 

[[1988henry worries sometimes that hes in love with patrick. Hes not. Hes pretty sure he /knows/ that too, but still, he worries. He knows hockstetter isnt with him, doesnt even think he (knows how to be?) can be in love, and maybe thats the part that worries him, that hes letting this kid who doesnt care touch him, use him, only because henry wants it himself]]

**AU where they dont die, pennywise doesn’t use henry to chase the losers, they escalate. Probably by 1991, Henrys friends are all moving on, except for Patrick, and hes left with his bastard of a father and the rage at everything and himself is an all time high. There’s some real small thing by a bus terminal during a layover, and they grab her and she fits right in, and nobody notices she’s missing for a real long time. 

[buginabog]

Am I Dreaming or Dead? Ch. 2

Summary: sanders sides fantasy story.

Pairings: remile, loceit, royality

Warnings: character death, sympathetic deciet, body horror, cursing

-

Remy slammed against the wall, pressing his hands against his mouth to suppress his sobs. He slid down the wall slowly, curling into fetal position.

"Well I finally got Kai to slee- Remy? Hon are you ok?" Emile fell in front of Remy and tilted his head up to meet his eyes. "Remy baby, what happened?"

Tears slid down Remys face, "Emile... I fucked up."

Emile pulled Remy into a hug, "hush baby, hush... wanna tell me about it?"

"Logan got mad at me because I didn't warn Virgil about how my eyes feel... and then I told him that Roman-" his breath caught in his throat, "I told him Roman wouldnt want to see him. Because he said he'd find Roman on his own, and I said he wouldnt want to see him."

Emile rubbed his back, "what were you feeling?"

"I was... I was angry."

"At who?"

"...I dont know" he voice broke, "I dont know Em, and I- I couldnt-"

Emile rocked him back and forth, "hush honey, hush. Tomorrow? You go to his house, you try to apologize. And you try to start again. Ok?"

Remy laughed weakly, "where would I be without you?"

Emile kissed his head, "I think we both know the answer to that."

-

The car was silent as Logan sped towards home, his face grim. It felt like hours before Virgil was brave enough to speak up. "Dad? Does Remy blame you for Roman... leaving?"

Logan sighed and relaxed his grip on the steering wheel, "I- yes. Virgil. Yes he does." He laughed brokenly, "they used to be... the best of friends you know. Roman and Remy, you never saw one without the other. And me and Roman, well. We were like oil and water. We were so different. And we fought so much. Remy used to think Roman went to the woods to- ...never mind. And he blamed me for that."

Virgil frowned and looked away, "thats... kind of dumb."

Logan laughed a little, "people do and think dumb things when they're grieving."

Virgil looked out the window for a while before speaking up again, "why didn't you tell me we were moving to the town my birth father died in?"

Logan started, "he died here?"

Virgil nodded, "yup. In those woods."

-

Eleven Years Ago

-

"Poppa? How long are you gonna be gone?"

His Poppa smiled and ruffled his hair, "oh not long, a week or two. Three at most. Ok? And I'll call you every night. Ok Virgie?"

Virgil smiled "ok Poppa!"

Patton gave him one last hug, then stood up to hug his best friend, "thanks for doing this on such short notice Em."

Emile smiled, "not at all! We are best friends after all!"

Patton smiled, "still, thank you."

"What are you doing in that town anyway?"

"Oh, you know, I got an offer to do a logging job." Patton frowned, "its weird though... no one in town wanted the job."

Emile smiled, "well that's a good thing!"

Patton smiled, "yeah. I guess you're right."

-

Two weeks later

-

Someone knocked at the door, Emile ran to open it. Virgil couldnt see who it was, because he was in the living room. He could hear voices, though he couldnt hear what they were saying, the voice that wasnt Emiles was deep, and sounded like thunder. And like thunder, it was carrying a message of danger since past.

Emile brought the man into the living room, "hes in here sir."

The man reached out to shake Virgils hand, "hello, I'm Mr. Sanders, what's your name?"

Virgil tentatively reached out his hand, "Virgil."

Mr. Sanders smiled sadly, "do you know why I'm here Virgil?"

Virgil shook his head.

"This is going to be... big news... for a grown adult, even. But for a six year old especially..." mr sanders sighed, "I hate this part of my job, but, it needs to be done." He took a deep breath and looked at Virgil, "your father, Patton Hart, was in a logging accident."

Virgils eyebrows knit together, "what do you mean?"

Mr Sanders sighed, "your father... wont be coming home."

Virgils world froze. Mr Sanders kept talking, but Virgil didnt hear a word. He just... sat. Not thinking, not feeling, not hearing, all he could was sit. Not even a single tear ran down his cheek, all he did was sit.

When he finally came back, he could say one word. And one word only, "Poppa?"

-

Present Day

-

Roman walked into the clearing that he had called home for ten years now. "Morality my dear!"

Morality perked up and smiled, "ah, Prince."

Roman sat next to Morality, "do you ever wonder what happened in the outside world? While we stayed frozen in time... what happened out there?"

Morality sighed, "well, sometimes I do." He looked at the river, "you know... I left behind a son. He was only six when I... when this happened. I... I wonder what would have happened if I had never taken that stupid, stupid, STUPID logging job."

Roman sighed, "yknow, I saw... I saw my brother. A little older, but here, at the edge of the forest."

Morality frowned, "why?"

"His son was about to walk into the woods." Roman frowned, trying to remember, "what was his name... Vi-"

"DONT SAY IT!"

Roman started, looking at Morality, who was breathing wild-eyed and panicked, "...Morality?"

"Remeber what I told you? That day? Names have power in the forest."

"Right. Apologies."

Morality relaxed, "its alright my prince. But if that boy has not been taken yet... then we should try our best to keep him free."

Roman nodded, "yes."

They sat in silence before Roman spoke again, "how long has it been?"

Morality sat, "that is three different questions, but I'll answer all three. The woods have been infested ever since, oh, a long, long time back. Look at the height of these trees, they've lived long lives. I'd say this tree has been here for maybe a thousand years, probably more." He looked at Roman, "as for me, ah, I cant tell, and I cant tell how long it's been for you either. While we stay frozen, the world keeps spinning." He laid back, "maybe it's been two years, maybe twenty. Maybe it's only been a month. Who knows who knows indeed."

Roman smiled at his partner in death, "you're rambling again."

Morality sighed, "perhaps. But I'll ramble and ramble till the world ends, if only to fill the silence."

-

Declan woke up to feel Logan sitting in his bed, "so, you decided Virgil wasnt going to sneak out? Or did you stay out there all night?"

Logna sighed and laid back, "I... I went to the forest. Then I went to Remy's."

Declan frowned, "why?"

"Virgil saw him."

"Saw who? Where?"

Logan turned to Declan, and Declan started to see the tears pouring down his normally stoic husbands face, "He saw Roman. In the woods. And then I did too."

Declan pulled his husband into his lap, "Logan? Are you ok?"

Logan sighed and rested his head on Declans shoulder, "if I found Roman. Do you think he would want to see me?"

Declan frowned, "of course he would, why do you ask?" He sighed as the answer came to him, "Remy?"

Logan nodded mutely.

Declan kissed his forehead, "Remy was warped by anger and frustration, surely you can understand."

Logan sighed, "I know, but... it's hard not to take it to heart."

Declan rocked back and forth, "I know. God, I know." He smiled down at his husband, who was half-asleep, "why dont you get some sleep, ok?"

"I dont-" Logan was interrupted by a huge yawn, "I dont need it."

Declan smirked, "uh-huh. Even though you were up all night?" Logan stuck his tounge out and Declan laughed, "you, sir, are a hypocrite."

Logan rolled his eyes affectionately, "alright, I'll take a nap. Wake me once Virgil wakes up?"

Declan kissed his forehead, "not a moment sooner or later."

Logan yawned, "ok, good. I love you Dee."

Declan smiled, "I love you too." He whispered to his already fast asleep husband.

-

Virgil sat in his bed, thinking about Remys eyes. His kaleidoscopic eyes that reached into your soul and pulled out every emotion, ever thought youd ever had, and then laid them out for everyone to see.

He had felt so exposed.

Like... like Remy had laid him out on a table for everyone to see.

But he wondered what Remy saw.

So he ran.

He ran through town all the way to an old, dilapidated house with an overgrown yard and pounded on the door.

The door clicked open to reveal Emile, "Virgil? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Remy."

Emile nodded, "ok, come in."

-

Emile knocked on the doorway to the living room, where Remy was sitting, looking dully at the TV, "Remy dear? Someones here for you."

Remy looked up at Virgil, his jaw dropped and he ran to the teen, "Virgil! I'm sorry. I should have warned you."

Virgil looked up at his uncle, "why did you need to do that?"

Remy stepped back, "I... I just wanted to make sure. Make sure he wasnt lying."

Virgil frowned, "why would he do that?"

Remy sighed, "I dont know."

Virgil nodded, "what did you see?"

Remy frowned, "I saw... a crystal."

"But I never saw a crystal?"

Emile gasped, "crystal...?"

Virgil frowned, "what?"

Emile turned around, "I had a friend who moved here, well he didn't move here but he worked here for a period of time. Well, he died in the woods, but the day before he died, he was...off."

Virgils eyes narrowed and he tensed, "off how?"

Emile gestured around vaguely, "he kept... rambling... I couldnt make it out but I heard something about a crystal and traps and thorns."

Remy frowned, "I think... I think if we looked I could find it... yeah I could find it if we got close."

"Then what do we do?"

"Destroy it." Remy sighed, "I dont know why but... I get the feeling that's what we need to do."

Emile nodded, "so that's what we'll do. Tonight."

Virgil rubbed his arm, "I dunno... I think we should get Logan."

Remy shook his head, "I have been deprived of my best friend for ten years. I'm not waiting another second."

"Logan waited ten years for his brother! He should be here!"

"Logan is the one who got Roman into this mess in the first place!"

"How do you know that!? You never took the time to ask Logan what happened!"

Remy blinked, taken aback, "well, I-"

Virgil huffed, "we go with Logan." He glared at Remy, "I let you dissect my soul. The least you can do is let my dad on the quest to save his brother."

Remy snarled at Virgil, his eyes flashing behind his glasses, "Hes. Not. Coming."

Virgil stood his ground, "why not?"

Remy sighed, "because, smartass, only people who are part warlock can go without, yknow, dying."

"Then why are you letting me go?"

Remys eyes widened, "he didnt tell you..."

-

Logan sat in the clearing. He had never seen it before. It was beautiful. A stream thread through the meadow, and the skys were clear, oh so clear. He could see every distant galaxy and star.

The faint sound of creaking wood filled the dream.

It came from every side, surrounding him. He looked for the source but saw trees. Only trees. For miles and miles nothing but trees trees trees!

His breathing quickened and he looked around, terrified.

His eyes stopped on a familiar figure.

Roman.

He tried to call out to his brother, but there was a burning in his throat. A petal flew out of his mouth, then a white chrysanthemum burst out of him. Flowers sprouting from every place they could. They writhed around his body, chained him to the earth. His hearing faded as flowers sprouted from them, his sight became clouded with white white white.

When his sight returned he sat in a clearing with a beautiful iridescent crystal in the center. He looked up and saw branches and vines in a writhing dome around the clearing.

Roman sat next to him and rested his hand on his. "Hello Logan."

Logans voice cracked as he whispered, "Roman."

Roman looked at the crystal serenely, "I understand if you're angry."

Logans eyes filled with tears. God. He was crying more in the past three days then he had in years. "I'm not. Just tell me what is happening!"

Roman sighed, "there are... hunters in the woods Lo. And they..." he started crying, "they got me Lo! And I'm so cold and tired and I just wanna go home!"

Logan tried to touch Roman, but his fingers went through, "tell me what to do..."

Roman gestured at the crystal, "send Remy and Declan into the forest, have them break this. Then me and Morality are free."

"Morality?"

Roman smiled, "my partner in death."

Logan nodded, "of course."

Roman looked to the side and frowned, "odd. Theres two warlocks here... Remy and another."

Logan frowned, "Declan?"

"No... " Roman's eyes widened and he clutched Logans hand, "Theres a child! Wake up!"

-

Logan shot up in bed, panting.

Declan rose up halfway groggily, "Lo? What's going on?"

Logan grabbed his husband, "Declan. Go get your brother. I think hes done something stupid."

Declan frowned, "when has he not?"

Logan growled, "Declan! I think hes gone to the forest!" He looked down as he remembered Roman's words, "theres a child..." his eyes widened, "Virgil!"

Declans eyes widened, "oh my god." He jumped up and ran to the car, dialing Remy.

-

"Didnt tell me what?" Virgil frowned at his uncle.

Remy sighed, "SO. Me and Declan are Warlocks. That's why my eyes are weird and why Deceit has scales."

Virgil frowns, "...no. he has a skin condition. Looks like he has scales but it's really weird ass skin."

Remy shook his head, "nope. They are most definitely scales."

Remy sighed, "oh my god. You're at least a little bit warlock."

Virgil smirked, "you remember I'm adopted right?"

Remy growled, "well, Declan sensed some warlock blood in you. So suck it up and follow us to the forest."

"I'm WHAT?"

"A warlock." Remy turned and kissed Emile, "love you sweetheart." He looked back at Virgil and walked out, "now come on! That crystal ain't gonna break itself."

Virgil followed him blankly, waving to Wnile, "uuuuh, bye uncle Emile..."

Emile giggled, "oh dear... bye Virge!"

-

Virgil and Remy arrived at the forest. "You ready kid?" Remy looked over to the shocked teen.

Virgil barely nodded.

He took a breath and sat up straighter, "yes." He looked over to Remy, "I'm ready."

-

Taglist cause I guess I'm doing this now:

@burningpersonflapsuitcase @an-absolute-failure @lucifer-in-my-head @fury-of-rome @nonbinaryblossom

[sol1056]

three anons: what the hell was all that in S7

Picking out the three that are most to the point for this answer, but I’ve got another dozen or so that overlap. Not sure I’ll have time/energy to answer the rest individually, so hopefully this meta will be sufficient. 

I mean it could be that they had different execs back then who were better at their jobs and kept Shiro around. No one disliked black paladin Shiro, even the DotU fans were ok with it, and the writing in s1-2 was mostly very good. Changing all that was a bad idea. I would have left on the spot if Shiro died or was benched, like now, I'm only around for closure. Maybe they were different execs with this decision & the EPs leaped at the chance. Well, we know who's also gonna be in trouble if that's the case.

With your theory on how storyboards were reused and characters shuffled around for cost cutting, might this not also partly explain the Adam flashback scene and how it was staged? I mean, they were originally supposed to be roommates and the scene was meant to appear in season 2 but got cut. What if they just reused the storyboard (or even animation, if it was already mostly done) the way it was and then just changed the dialogue? This could explain the lack of intimacy in the staging, too. Ezor and Zethrids interactions were more openly intimate maybe not (just) because they‘re villains who die immediately after, but because the decision to make them an item came before storyboarding was done, so the staging is more suggestive. I mean, if you think Shiro was mostly pasted in in the first half of s7, that might make sense.

If cost was the issue and they already had the black paladin Shiro version written, and got the greenlight to change it to Keith then things don't add up. Because they changed it once more! Which could have been avoided if they stuck to the Shiro one. And it goes without saying it would be better written to follow canon instead of the mess we got, like, I cant imagine this NOT discussed. So if it wouldn't be cost effective to change it again for Keith and it would be badly written, why did it happen?

Behind the cut: the most likely chronology of revisions, the clues in S7 as to its original form, and what this means for S8 and the Black Paladin position. 

This is everything I’ve been able to figure out between interviews, podcasts, tweets, plus researching the industry and a few reality-checks with friends more familiar. As always, any mistakes are my own. 

version 0: "five teenagers"

This would’ve been the first pitch after getting the green light, and probably only a loose synopsis, with just the pilot given a rough storyboard. A post-apocalyptic Earth conquered by the Galra, who are seeking Blue. The execs rejected JDS' mechanism for the discovery of Blue, in favor of simply having Keith ‘sense’ Blue. The execs also rejected the idea that Shiro would die only a few episodes in. This summary seems to be the basis of the "five teenagers" part of the teaser.

version A: "shiro kicks the bucket"

Timelines would've dictated moving onto an outline pretty quickly, detailed down to the episode level, including bits of dialogue, motifs, turning points or emotional beats. In this revision, Shiro dies/leaves at the end of S2 and does not return. This is the “originally we wanted him to kick the bucket” version, which the execs rejected.

version B: "shiro goes away for awhile"

If I'm interpreting the hints correctly, the "does Shiro die or not" question got tossed back and forth all the way into S1/S2 pre-production. Rather than rearrange everything, the easiest fix would've been to leave most of the story intact and write only a new ending where Shiro returns. The execs reject this rewrite, saying Shiro can’t be gone that long. This is the “we tried to just have him gone for awhile, but the execs said he had to come back sooner” version.

version C: "enter the clone"

Again, easiest fix is to insert Shiro/Kuron, remove Keith, and reverse that just before Shiro's return in version B. This impacts only the middle seasons (S3-S6); the clone compromise satisfies the execs. Kuron's characterization makes a lot more sense if it’s Keith, in visuals (ie Kuron leaning against the wall in Keith fashion), dialogue (fighting with Lance), and action (leaving without consulting the team). It's also why no one mentions Keith's absence. Because in the original version A, Keith was standing right there.

version D: "wtf is going on", aka Season 7

When JDS mentions having a full season written with Shiro as Black Paladin, it didn't make sense how they'd have a script and not use it. With @ptw30's visual detective work, I think I may've figured it out.

Technical notes: first scripts are all written for a season, then voices are recorded, and then the combined script+recording is used to storyboard. Production seasons are 26-episodes, independent of actual broadcast seasons; VA may be recording scenes across two 13-episode seasons completely out of order, since the recording schedule's going to be based on who's available, not chronology of the file numbers. The biggest staff changes are usually in April ('staffing season') when new shows get the greenlight and start sharking around to catch writers, designers, directors, etc.

In March of this year, S5 was released. At least some of the storyboarders were released in time for staffing season; in April, Hedrick moves to a new project. With S7/S8 being unchanged since version B, I suspect Hedrick delivered the scripts for S7 and S8 by winter of last year, at latest. Even that would be tight, since that's expecting animation to deliver 26 episodes in an 8-month timeframe. [edit: probably delivered much earlier, given the studio leaks show images we can recognize from S7/S8, so some amount of these seasons were in production by then.]

In June, S6 dropped, and a week later, Hamilton was announced as the new story editor via the Lets Voltron podcast. With the lead time required in production, there doesn't seem to be any reason to even need a story editor, at this point. All the pre-production work should be done.

In August, S7 dropped. Hedrick's editor credit is only for the first half of the season; Hamilton gets it for the second half. That means the last six episodes were written after Hedrick's departure. (May Chan's S2 script was reused in part, and she gains a belated co-writing script credit for that. Hedrick should've received the same; it's standard.)

Let's recap a few things we know (and a few we can intuit) about S7:

The season was already written with Shiro returning as Black Paladin, possibly also recorded and storyboarded. 

S6 reversed the S4-S5 trend, lending strength to exec arguments that Shiro is necessary in the story.

After S6 dropped, the EPs said the wolf's name was a spoiler. See this post from @pwt30; tl;dr is that perhaps the EPs intended the wolf to be Shiro's spirit. 

Despite Shiro's return, he's absent for the majority of the first half; when he is present, he barely speaks a half-dozen words, and none are plot-relevant. See @ptw30's post for more details. 

There's a glaring incontinuity when Allura says the paladin armor protected the team, yet Shiro is frozen with the other non-paladins despite wearing armor. 

Keith never offers for Shiro to pilot, nor mentions it, nor even seems to consider it an issue.

Not everything dovetails since I don't have the full picture, but here's my theory: S7 was originally outlined with Shiro's spirit in the wolf, rather than Black. I have no idea when/how JDS would've thought up the CA:WS parallels for his sole writing credit, but Shiro's "I died" and Lotor's psychotic breakdown are squeezed into S6E6, which was written by Josh Hamilton, Hedrick's later replacement. The only other Shiro-in-Black point is a few minutes at the end of S6's final episode. Shifting from Shiro-in-wolf to Shiro-in-Black really only affects one episode, with a bit of editing for another.

Anyway, S6 ends version C, and we segue to version B. For the first half of S7, the clone's body may have been in stasis while the team traveled through its various non-adventures. The episode we now know as S7E1 may have been the mid-point, with about six episodes of Shiro being unconcious. After watching the numbers drop from S3 to S6, the execs may've rejected another six episodes of where-is-Shiro and insisted he come back ASAP.

S7 only has two episodes that must be in order; the rest are pretty rearrangeable. All they had to do was insert Shiro into the background and record a few lines. (Several lines are pure voice-over, which also saves cost/time by not needing to animate moving mouth.) But the moved episode is only his memory/awakening, and the logical next episode would be Shiro's reconnection, and the rest of the season would roll from there. Without moving the entire second half of the season to the start, moving only his awakening episode would mean Shiro does nothing for 5-6 episodes and then abruptly reconnects.  

In a recent interview, JDS said at first the execs weren't enthused until JDS talked up the new mecha they'd give Shiro to captain. Honestly, there's no way JDS got to be EP without giving a really good pitch, but there may've been another element to his argument: nostalgia. The EPs seem certain everyone suffers from their same nostalgia dementia, which if you do, then you probably have been waiting for any glimpse of that og!Keith. If Shiro returns at the start of S7, then Keith's time in Black has been limited to a few disastrous episodes in S3, and a single big battle in S6. The beginning of S7 is the only time we'd ever see the Voltron84 formation working as a unified team, and returning Shiro too soon would defeat the whole purpose of showing how the team has grown in his absence.

The solution seems to have been to remove Shiro's reconnection completely, and keep Keith in Black. That would mean re-recording Shiro's lines from the midpoint onward, and editing in Keith over Shiro. The savings would be that only half the seaon would have to be reworked, not all. The loose end of the space wolf --- an artifact of version B --- was left in place.  

What I'm not sure of is whether the following are significant enough changes to warrant removing Hedrick's name and replacing it with Hamilton's. It could be, if supervising the revision process is enough to override the previous credits. I have no idea about that part of the industry, and it's the kind of edge case you're just not going to find a lot of blog posts about, so if you know, tell me. Otherwise, your guess is as good as mine.

Anyway, this would've meant Shiro was switched in for Allura, Allura was put back in a lion, and Keith was switched in for Shiro. This would explain why Shiro speaks as the leader of Voltron despite no longer being a paladin, and the uneasy sensations a lot of people got about the characterizations. It was most striking in the last three episodes: Shiro felt like Allura v2, while Keith felt like Shiro v2. And that further, the Altean-Earthian ship just 'lighting up' for Shiro --- and becoming that oversized white mecha --- may've meant as Allura's fourth (fifth?) deus ex machina.

I'd be willing to bet that mid-battle, Allura repeated her stunt from the end of S2, heading out to destroy Sendak's crystal by herself. She wouldn't need Sam to hack her brain, and then we'd also have a call back to when she got knocked down by the crystal-ball thing on Naxzela. If she was the one meant to go toe-to-toe with Sendak, that would explain the bizarre neutrality of Sendak's words --- he says nothing personal to Shiro, at all --- and the even more bizarre silence on Shiro's part. Allura's words wouldn't fit Shiro, so he's silent.

And lastly, it'd mean that the one leaping out of Black to cut down Sendak wouldn't have been Keith. It would've been Shiro.

Where would the story go from here?

If I look at the events of S7, the first half is terribly disjointed, really. If Shiro was supposed to wake at the midpoint, an episode (or two) is missing. One for him to reconnect with Black, and a second that would provide some minor conflict to settle him back into position. Those two episodes were likely replaced with the unexpected and frankly over-told two-parter of the Earth flashbacks.

Two problems with that, one technical, one structural.

First, the flashback two-parter has a lot of moving parts. Brand-new designs, characters, and backdrops. It's far too elaborate to be done in an ultra-compressed timeframe, not without several heart attacks and therapy bills on the part of the animation staff. (Plus, the US-based storyboarding team is already downsized, so fewer hands to do the work.)

Second, it doesn't make a lot of structural sense, especially against the big revelations in S6 of an existing Altean colony. Within the story, there's no reason to halt everything and travel across the universe to take however long to build a new castle, when the Altean colony question is far more pressing. Returning to earth also violates the structure, because it's really just a standard milieu: start on earth, head out to have adventures, and return home at the end.

But here, they're returning home and then possibly leaving again. That's just... a rather peculiar and imbalanced way to do it. It doesn't help that doing so means literally telling Romelle her people are just gonna have to rot, the paladins are certain they need the castle more. Why would you take one of the more compelling storylines you've come up with, only to background it again, and wreck the traditional bookending milieu structure at the same time? Especially if that means coming up with major set-pieces and brand-new designs in the space of several months, after a chunk of your core staff are already onto other things.

I think those two flashback episodes -- and the rewritten finale episodes --- may've been cribbed from S8. In other words, the second half of S7 was the original end of S8. That would mean repurposing already-created storyboards and animation artifacts, so there's a huge time savings there (not counting the need to re-record voices and edit the visuals to match the changed-around parts). 

[note: if there’s anywhere you want to frontload introductions for the spin-off, it’d be in the final season, not the penultimate season. Here it feels like a big honking distraction, rather than an organic segue into the next iteration.]

That change necessitated that utterly bizarro mecha that appeared out of nowhere with the most ridiculously impeccable timing. There needed to be a reason to pull the team back out to space to deal with Haggar and/or the alt-Alteans and/or Lotor or whomever else it turns out to be.

So... where we go from here depends on when S8 gets released, because that’ll tell us how much they did (or did not) edit the episodes. Another clue will be whose name gets listed as head editor for an episode; if we see Hedrick’s name reappear at the top, we’ll know we’re dealing with episodes that are enough unrevised to qualify as being Hedrick-edited, that it’s a version B episode. 

My expectation? They’ll move Shiro’s reconnection to the first part of S8, and add an episode or edit pieces of another, to blend it into what would’ve been the first half of S8 (probably with filler to mask the gap). Then add an episode to segue into the version B finale of S7, where we’d end with the original VLD lineup. With the time needed for animation, that’d be the easiest (if potentially awkward) way to repurpose as much as possible of existing artifacts. 

If we don’t get S8 in the next 1-2 months, though, all bets are off, and there’s a much greater possibility that the entire final season is being redone from scratch. I’d expect Keith to stay in Black, in that case, but I’m always willing to be pleasantly surprised.  

edited to add: see this followup for another detail that supports the reversed-seasons theory

[nightaekookie]

BTS Reaction » you surprise him while he is away on tour.

Author notes » Not sure if I like this one, but imma post it anyway. And most of them turned out to be longer then I expected whoops. English isn’t my first language so I want to apologize for any grammar mistakes. My requests are open! Feel free to request anything -> I do fake texts and reactions/scenarios

Masterlist | Request here.

Kim Seokjin » Jin has been on tour for four months now and you miss him incredibly. You guys skype, text and call each other but it isn’t enough for you. You miss his touch, you miss his cuddles. Actually you miss everything about him. So you decided to take a few days of work to surprise him on tour. You had contact with Namjoon to arrange everything. So now you’re waiting for Namjoon to pick you up from the airport. After a few minutes of waiting you spot Namjoon walking towards you, you smile and you walk to him. You give him a quick hug “Hey” you greet him with a big smile “Hey y/n, how are you?” He asks while you walk towards the car “I’m good, thanks.” You tell him while you take place in the backseat of the car. You are getting more and more nervous, what if he didn’t like the surprise. You have been dating for six months, so Jin has been mostly away since you’re together. “Did he suspect anything?” you ask Namjoon and he shakes his head with a smile “No he hasn’t, so he is going to be so surprised when he sees you.” After a while you arrive at the hotel the boys are staying at. Nervously you enter the hotel with Namjoon, he gives you the number of Jin’s room and you say goodbye to Namjoon and you walk towards Jin’s room. Slowly you knock on his door and after a few moments Jin opens the door “y/n?” He ask and you nod with a big smile. His eyes get watery as he pulls you in a tight hug, you hug him back and you absorb his scent “I’ve missed you so much” you cry into his chest not wanting to let go of him. “I missed you too baby” he tells you and he kisses your forehead.

Min Yoongi » It’s been a while since you’ve last spoken or seen Yoongi, he has been away on tour for a couple months now and it’s only a few weeks left before the tour ends. Last time you spoke to him he was having a hard time which made you miss him even more. You wanted to be there with him to comfort him, to give him all the cuddles he needed. So you decided to book a flight and surprise him on tour, you were on a break from school anyway and you saved some money. You only told Hoseok what you were planning and you hoped he would keep it a secret. After you landed you decided to call Hoseok, and after a while he answers his phone. “Hello?” He answered cheerfully “Hey Hobi, I’m here, where are you guys?” You ask with a smile “We’re at the venue actually, I’ll text you the address and I’ll meet you there, just let me know when you’re almost there” “thank you Hobi, does he suspect anything?” You ask nervously “No, but you’re coming just in time, he is feeling more down lately” you sigh “okay, text me the address and I’ll text you when I’m almost there” you hang up the phone and walk towards an taxi. Hobi has texted you the address and you give it to the taxi driver. It’s only a twenty minute drive so when you’re five minutes away you text Hobi that you’re almost there. You arrive at the venue (staff entrance of course) and you see Hobi waiting for you, you pay the taxi driver and you walk towards Hobi, you greet him with a big smile. “C’mon, he is next to practice his performance” he tells you with a big smile. You walk behind Hoseok through the venue, after walking through many different hallways you end up backstage, just in time to see Yoongi perform Seesaw. You watch the performance with a big smile but halfway through Yoongi notices you and he stops practicing, with big eyes he looks at you not really sure what to do so you walk to him and you pull him into a tight hug “Hey baby” you mumble but he doesn’t answer, he just pulls you tighter against him.

Jung Hoseok » Hoseok has been away on tour for a few weeks now, he is very busy but you try to keep in touch as much as you both can but it’s hard. You’re sitting in bed, looking at your laptop where Hobi is excitingly telling you a story, mid story he stops and he looks behind his laptop, his face drops and he sighs deep. “Baby I have to go” he tells you sadly “It’s okay baby, just enjoy yourself and good luck. I’ll talk to you when you have time” you reassure him and he nods “I will baby, I love you” he smiles and the call ends, you sigh deep and you stare at your black screen. Suddenly an idea pops into your head, Hoseok doesn’t have a show until tomorrow so why not surprise him there? You have vacation anyway. You impulsively buy a ticket for the first flight to Bangkok which is in a few hours so you have to hurry if you want to catch your flight. After many hours you’re finally in Bangkok and you can’t help but feel really excited to surprise him. You decide to call Yoongi because you need a way to get inside the venue without Hobi noticing. “Y/n?” Yoongi asks surprised “yes it’s me! But I’m in Bangkok right now and I want to surprise Hobi tonight but I need to get into the venue without him noticing and I don’t have a ticket, is there in any way you can help me?” You ask him sweetly “hm I’ll see what i can do, is it okay to call you back in a few” “Yes, but please don’t tell Hobi, it’s a surprise” you mumble and you end the call. After a while Yoongi calls you back and tells you his plan, so now you’re standing front row waiting for the boys to perform. You start to feel a bit nervous, what if he doesn’t like the surprise? After a while the concert is starting, you cant help but feel proud of your boyfriend, you feel tears welling up in your eyes. You just can’t take your eyes of him and your heart skips a beat when you make eye contact. His eyes widen and he keeps looking at you, you wink at him with a cheeky smile and the most beautiful smile appears on his face. The entire concert Hoseok keeps looking at your direction, making sure he isn’t dreaming and you’re really standing there in the crowd.

Kim Namjoon » You look at your phone, you’ve been FaceTiming with Namjoon. You’re laying in bed because where you are it’s almost two am but you can’t help but yawn, you try to hide it but Namjoon notices “baby if you want to sleep, I understand.” He tells you “it’s okay, I like talking to you more then sleep” you mumble. He smiles at your comment “I miss you so much” he mumbles and your smile fades “I miss you too baby, a few more weeks” you sigh trying to stay positive but it’s been so long since you’ve actually seen him. “I know it’s only a few weeks but I just wished you were here with me you know?” You nod “I know Joonie, I’m counting down the days” you mumble and another yawn escapes your mouth “just go to sleep, we’ll talk when you wake up” “Alright, I love you Joonie” you smile at him and you blow a kiss at your phone screen and you end the call. You try to fall asleep but you just can’t stop thinking about Namjoon and how much you miss him and how you wish you were sleeping next to him. After an night without sleep you decided there was only one way to fix your problem, you’re going to visit him on tour. So now, a few hours later, you’re sitting on a plane on your way to your boyfriend, you texted Jin about your idea and asked him if he could pick you up from the airport. After a very long flight you rush to get your things and you want to get the hell out of this airport as soon as possible. Outside you meet with Jin who is waiting for you, you give him a hug “Hey Jinnie” you greet him sweetly “Hey y/nnie” he smiles back at you. Together you walk to his car and you talk about everything that’s been going on. “Do you think he’ll be surprised?” You ask with a frown “of course he’ll be surprised to see you, he misses you like crazy” Jin chuckles. When Jin parks the car you quickly grab all of your things. Your phone starts to ring, you look at your screen and you answer your phone “Hey Joonie” you say excitingly “Babeee” Namjoon whines “what’s up baby” you giggle while you walk into the hotel “how was your day?” He asks sweetly “Uh it was boring to be honest” you lie “why was it boring?” He asks curiously “i didn’t do anything, i was bored and my boyfriend wasn’t there to entertain me” you complain “I’m sorry” you giggle “that isn’t something you need to be sorry for, but how was your day?” your standing in front of his hotel room and you knock his door “wait a second baby, there is someone knocking on my door” “you better hurry, you don’t want to keep them waiting” you tell him and you end the phone call, a few seconds later Namjoon opens the door. His eyes widen at the sight of you “Y/n?” He ask “the one and only” you smile. You jump in his arms and you shower him with kisses all over his face, you feel how your lips get wet, you frown and look at Namjoon “aw Joonie are you crying?” you ask and he smiles through his tears “I can’t help it, I just missed you so much” you hug him even tighter and you press you lips on his “I missed you too” you mumble against his lips with a smile.

Park Jimin » Jimin has been on tour for the last three months, you haven’t had the time to come visit him because lately you’ve been very busy with your job. But you decided to take a few days off to surprise your boyfriend on tour. So now you’re waiting to board your plane, you haven’t told Jimin that you were coming because you want it to be a surprise. You got a text from Jimin saying “Babe, do you have time to call before I have to be on stage?” you sigh deeply, you really wanted to hear his voice but you have to board your plane any minute now “No, baby I don’t have time to call right now :/ but have fun tonight, I’m proud of you 💜” you really are proud of your boyfriend and you’re really sad you can’t see him perform tonight but only a few hours until you get to see him again and you couldn’t be more excited. You take a seat on the plane and you turn of your phone. It’s a few hours later and you’re waiting for a taxi you had arranged, you’ve even booked a hotel room even though you are probably not even gonna use it. You turn your phone on and many messages from Jimin pop up on your screen and a few missed calls, “Hey baby, I tried to call you anyways but it went straight to voicemail, i guess your phone is turned off, text me when you see this yeah?” you smile at the message, he is so sweet and you love him so much, you read another text “uhm you still haven’t answered any of my messages, I hope you’re okay. I’m going to sleeep now, goodnight and I love you” you don’t even deserve him, he is so precious. After the taxi ride you check in to the hotel and you walk to your room, you had contact with Jungkook and he told you which room Jimin was staying at. You put your bags in your room and you take time to fresh yourself up after a long flight. You meet up with Jungkook, he gives you his card and with Jungkooks card you can enter Jimins room. You enter Jimins room and your eyes need time to adjust to the dark, a few moments pass when your eyes finally get used to the dark room. You spot the bed with Jimin in it, he looks so peaceful when he is asleep. You slowly walk to the bed and you crawl under the blankets next to him. Jimin slowly wakes up and he looks at you, very sleepy “y/n?” He ask still not fully processing that you’re laying beside him, you nod “yes baby, but go back to sleep” he nods at he puts his arms around you and you both quickly fall back to sleep. The next morning you wake up from Jimin kissing your entire face, you smile widely “good morning baby” you giggle “I can’t believe you’re here” he yells excitedly “surprise” you smile and you kiss his lips passionately.

Kim Taehyung » It’s Taehyung’s birthday tomorrow and you really want to surprise him on tour. He’s been on tour for a few weeks now and you haven’t had time to visit him on tour, so when his birthday came close you started to plan everything. You took time of work and you talked to Jimin about your idea. So now, on the day of Taehyung’s birthday, you’re nervously waiting for Jimin to pick you up from the airport. You look around searching for Jimin, eventually you spot Jimin in his car and you quickly grab your bags and you walk towards the car. You place yourself in the drivers seat and you greet Jimin. “Hey Y/nnie” he smiles. After a while you drive into the parking lot from the hotel and you grab your bags and Jimin helps you sneak into the hotel. You check into your own room and you thank Jimin for everything before walking away to your room “Just text me where you’re having his birthday dinner.” You finally enter your room and you let yourself fall in the bed but your phone starts ringing and you groan, without even looking you answer your phone. “Hello” you mumble “Hi baby” Taehyung says happily “Oh hi baby, happy birthday! I love you so much and I am so proud of you” you tell him with a smile “thank you baby, I love you too. I’m feeling old now” he chuckles “what are you plans for tonight?” You ask curiously “I’m having dinner with the boys and after that I don’t know to be honest” “that sounds like fun! But baby I have to go, enjoy tonight and we’ll talk later yeah?” “Oh, yeah thank you” he mumbles sounding a bit disappointed. “I love you” you tell him before ending the call. Later that night you’re standing in front of the restaurant where Taehyung is having dinner with the boys, you enter the restaurant and you talk to the hostess “We talked on the phone the other day” you remind her and she smiles “Let me bring you to their table” you walk behind her to their table. Taehyung sits with his back towards you so he doesn’t see you coming, you thank the hostess before walking to their table. Jimin grins when he sees you coming, you’re standing behind Taehyung and you put your hands in front of his eyes. You can see his body react to your action, looking a bit uncomfortable. You put your head close to his ear and you whisper “happy birthday, baby” with a smile. Taehyung immediately turns around, and when he sees your face he quickly pulls you into a tight hug “Hey baby” you giggle into his chest “H-how? W-when?” He stutters “Jimin helped me” you explain with a grin. Taehyung smiles happily and he kisses you deeply and you can’t help but smile into the kiss, feeling so much joy for seeing your boyfriend again.

Jeon Jungkook » You’re facetiming with your boyfriend Jungkook. He is on tour and you’re planning on surprising him on tour. You’re actually waiting at the airport to board your flight. “How’s tour life treating you?” you ask while you sit down “it’s great, I’m having so much fun, but I really miss you” he tells you shyly and you giggle. “Aw I miss you too, kookie.” You smile. Jungkook looks behind you “Baby, where are you?” He asks with an frown “I’m shopping” you lie, Jungkook looks at you with narrowed eyes. “I don’t believe you” he simply tells you. You look at your watch, it’s almost time to board your plane. ”Attention, the flight to Bangkok leaves in half an hour, you can now board the plane” with big eyes you look at Jungkook “I have to go” you tell him in a hurry “baby, wai-“ you end the call before Jungkook can say anything. “Shit” you mumble to yourself, walking towards the gate. You hope he didn’t hear it but he probably did. After you sit down you text Taehyung that you are on your way before you turn of your phone. After a few hours you land in Bangkok, getting more excited to see your boyfriend again, it’s been a few months since you last saw him and the distance is been hard on the both of you. You grab your belongings and you walk towards the exit of the airport. Taehyung is supposed to pick you up from the airport so you look around the airport to search for Taehyung in the massive crowd of people. After a few minutes of searching you decide to call him. “Hey” Taehyung answers the phone “Hey, where are you?” you ask still looking around. “I’m in the parking lot” he gives you further instructions which you follow and a few moments later you spot him waiting in a car, waving at you and you wave back at him. You stop walking when you come closer to the car and you see someone sitting next to him. The car door opens and Taehyung steps out of the car and a few seconds later Jungkook steps out of the car “I’m sorry” Taehyung mouths to you and you sigh, your surprise is ruined. But when you see Jungkook you drop your bags and you run towards him and you jump in his arms, kissing him all over his face, he starts laughing and you sigh from happiness, you missed his laugh. You missed him. “Hey baby” he says with his familiar bunny smile. “My surprise is ruined” you pout and Jungkook smiles “but now I got to surprise you as well” he tells you proudly and he kisses you.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

I Hate You, Kim Taehyung! (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I hope this still turns out into what all of you wanted since its many similar requests jumbled into one. Hehe. And as for the last two anon, I dont know if this can be considered as badboy Tae but I hope it works and I think all my Tae's fics has a touch of angst in it but mostly all of it has a happy ending. So I hope you will still like this ♡♡

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here. if anyone here like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

MASTERLIST

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate you Kim Taehyung!" Y/N screamed out as loud as she can as she sat sprawled down on the floor with seven years of costumes strewn all over her. She can shout as loud as she can and no one would say anything, seeing how its almost 4 am and she is the only one left in the building. Of course, her late night over time is thanks to none other than the charming Kim Taehyung.

When she first got offered the job as the junior stylist for BTS, she thought luck has finally shined down on her. That her days of making one cup of instant noodle last for the whole day is long gone. Little did she know that by accepting this job, she is cashing in a one way ticket to hell. A hell that is ruled by a handsome devil known as Kim Taehyung.

Well, not that she thinks he's handsome, but he is obviously not bad looking. He didnt win the most handsome face in the world for two times in a row for nothing, right?

But what good is his face if all he ever do is pick on her? Its as if he has developed a personal dislike towards Y/N and Y/N alone. Y/N couldnt understand why everyone keeps on saying that the members are friendly and nice. Well, maybe the other six are, she wouldnt know since shes too scared, embarassed and shy to even look up to their attractive faces, but she can definitely say that Kim Taehyung is the opposite of nice and friendly.

Making sure that Y/N got into trouble every single day seems to be his life mission every since she was assigned as his personal stylist. And incredibly, he even do it in various creative ways too. Saying the material is itchy minutes before stage, when it was perfectly okay during dress rehearsal, which resulted to Y/N needing to whipped out a whole new outfit for him in no time at all, which of course, got her into trouble when the last minute clothes doesnt fit the concept or doesnt match the others, purposely broke a zipper and ripped a button, coming in late for fittings and so many other ways that Y/N cant even understand how he can even come up with it. If only he puts his creativity into making an album and not on ways to get her into trouble, Y/N is sure he will have about 10 solo albums by now.

Like today for instance, Taehyung said his pants for the Idol music shoot is ripped when he received it, resulting in him wearing black pants while the other members wear a matching head to toe suit. No matter how hard Y/N tries to defend herself, saying the pants are perfectly fine when she gave it to him, of course people would believe their darling Kim Taehyung rather than the inexperienced new junior stylist, which resulted in her being stuck in the wardrobe storage room, assigned to reorganized all seven years of BTS' stage costume, according to the month, year and members.  Thanks to the devil, Y/N missed her train to go back to her hometown, and she cant even afford to buy another one.  So here she is, alone in the wardrobe storage room, hanging up their costumes by dates, and all the while cursing Kim Taehyung.

/////

"Oh, how come you are ready early today Tae?" Hoseok looks up from his stylist who is fussing over his shirt to Taehyung who is already impeccably dress.

"I finally had a professional stylist helping me today," Taehyung huffed. "For once, I finally know what it feels like to be ready on time and not have a stylist that makes stupid petty mistakes,"

"No Y/N today?" Hoseok immediately gets what the younger man is babbling about. Its no secret between the seven of them that Taehyung has an issue with the new junior stylist. Taehyung might call it hate, but the other six boys sees something else blooming instead. They just hope Taehyung would see it soon too.

"Off to go back to her hometown or something. I dont really care," Taehyung answered, trying to be nonchalant, making Hoseok lets out a hearty laugh.

"Tae, you of all people know that she didnt make any mistakes. You were the one who purposely created those mistakes for her," Hoseok stated out. Taehyung gasps, pretending as if he is offended that his hyung would accused him of such a thing.

"I did no such thing!" He placed a hand on his chest. "And whose side are you on hyung? You are supposed to be on mine!" Taehyung glares as Hoseok's stylist finishes fussing over his outfit and walks away, not bothering to listen more of their quarrel.

"I'm on the side on love Tae," Hoseok mocks and laughs as he walks away towards the stage. "Loveeee,"

Taehyung huffed. Love? Him? Even worse, him and Y/N?! Not until hell freezes over. Even then, he is still sure it wouldnt happen. Okay, Taehyung is at least man enough to admit to himself, and definitely nobody else, that he did do it on purpose, making life hard for Y/N. But what he himself dont know is why.

Taehyung would like to think its because of hate. But he doesnt hate Y/N. He doesnt have a reason to. They barely exchanged a few words with each other. Annoying? Well maybe. But not in the term of her attitude or anything. It just bothers him how Y/N seems so unaffected working by his side. She didnt even spare him a glance or gave him a look that lingered too long. Hell, she didnt even talk to him unless its absolutely neccessary. It shouldnt bother him,really. He has millions other girls who would willingly be at his beck and call, but from the first moment he saw Y/N bowing excitedly to the managers on her first day, he has set his eyes on her. And it just annoys him to no end that she didnt seem fazed or interested in his presence at all. So annoyance slowly grew into something more and Taehyung is just sure that he hates her now.

At least he hope it is.

Taehyung, all clean and fresh from his shower packs up his bag from the practice room and trotted out of the building. Why is it their cheographer likes to schedule a dance practice after a music stage? Taehyung is exhausted, cranky and definitely hungry right now and all the other boys has went home first, not bothering to wait for him to shower. He picks up his bag and puts on his mask before making the short walk to his favorite restaurant near the company to get some take out and head back to the dorm. He asked his managers to let him be alone today. Sometimes a busy idol needs his personal time too and an evening walk to get some air sounds good to him right now.

He passed by a small street vendor selling tteokbokki along his way. The small shop has been there for years,even before any of them were trainees, and they have never been there again after they debuted and fame catch up with them. Taehyung miss going there but now he just doesnt have a reason to. He used to try to bring one of the girls he casually dated there, but she scrunched her nose and without feeling even a bit guilty or shame asks him "Shouldnt a successful idol like you bring me to 6 star restaurant or something?" Well, lets just say Taehyung did bring her to one of those pretentious restaurant that serves too expensive meals that evening. She was happy, and he was happy too when he spent the night tangling with her between her sheets later that night, and he was definitely happier when he told her it was over while he buttoned back up his shirt after hes done and make his way out of her house, never looking back.

He would usually just pass by, not because he is afraid the customers would recognized him. People who eat there usually dont even give him a glance. But something just caught his eyes today.

Is that Y/N?

What is she doing here? Shouldnt she be back in her hometown or something? Wait, not that he cares. Right? But just as if hes been pulled by a magnetic force, he walks into the small shop and take a seat at one of the back table, hidden. Taehyung reasons to himself that hes just hungry and its been a long time since he ate some street food anyway. Its just cravings. Coming here has nothing to do with Y/N. But why is he always looking at her table, well, he prefer to not think about that.

Nibbling on his rice cakes, his eyes never leaving hers. Watching as she ate and laughs at something shes doing on her phone. Is she texting someone? A boyfriend? A friend? Not that he cares, just a close observation. He watch her smile and talk to the shop owner and some of the old man who are regulars at the store. Shes sounds friendly, polite and it seems she knows how to talk to older people. Taehyung is certain that his eomma and appa would love her if he take her home.

Wait. Where did that thought came from? Taehyung shakes his head, deleting that horrible imagination. There is no way he is introducing her to anybody.

His body reacted automatically. Leaving a handful of won bills on the table and walked a few metres behind her as she said her goodbyes and leave the shop. His hatred for her must have turned him into a stalker, he told himself. He followed her closely and he found himself smiling as he watch her help an old man crossing a busy road. Its hard to find young girls who volunteerily do that nowadays. He saw her skipped along happily on her way to wherever it is shes going, giving a won bill to every beggar she sees. Its obvious she does this everyday as the old beggars seems to be familiar with her. Then she walks into a convenience store and take one cup noodle and a small packet of food,Taehyung cant be sure what. He hides himself between the shelves as she pays and saw how shes counting her shilings from her pocket, sighing.

He scrunched his nose. Doesnt the company pay her enough?

Still curious and becoming more fascinated by what Y/N could possibly be doing, he followed her again until she stops at a secluded part of a park and crouched down. What the hell is she doing now? Is she someone weird? What is she knows hes following her and shes some kind of a mass murderer thats just luring him in?  No way. He is too handsome to die. Y/N started to make a weird sound as in calling someone, or something, Taehyung cant be sure, breaking his horrible thoughts. a After a few minutes of making the strange sound, the bush rustles and a small dirty looking, buy certainly adorable dog came running out from the bush, tails wagging.

Y/N yelp happily when the dog jumped on her and patted its head lovingly.

"Taetae-ah, I'm here. I know I said I wont be here for a few days but I miss my train," she pouts at the dog, which oddly Taehyung found to be extremely cute. "That devil make me miss my train. Aish, I shouldnt have named u after that devil. You are too adorable. He is more of a dog than you ever will be,"

Taehyung chuckle to himself as he comes to a realization from what shes saying. Did she seriously named that stray dog after him? Furthermore, after his cute nickname? And the devil? Is that supposed to be him? She thinks of him as a devil? Is it weird he didnt feel angry at that? Worse, is it weird that he finds this whole thing cutely amusing?

"He purposely made me get punished again. Pd- nim was furious. He cut my allowance and made me come back at 6 am last night," she sighed and keep telling the dog her feelings while petting its head as the dog keeps eating the treat she gave him. "You are my only friend who will listen to me Taetae," Y/N sighed. "I dont have enough money to replace the ticket so I have to tell eomma I couldnt come back for her birthday and she sounded so upset. I hope she wont be mad at me for long. I'm sorry Taetae-ah, but this is all I could give you, I will work hard to earn more money so I can give you more delicious food," she smiles at the dog although it obviously couldnt understand her. "Lets just hope the devil wont make my allowance got cut anymore. Or worse,  get me fired," With that, she stands up and clean her bottom from dust and say goodbye to the dog, promising she will come again the next day.

Taehyung was both fascinated speechless. Fascinated by what he just sees. And speechless by what he just heard. Did he really caused all that?

/////

Things changed after that. Well, not so much since Taehyung still make Y/N's life a living hell. But he would usually excuse himself to get go back home without the boys and followed Y/N. She did the same routine everyday, apparently. Stops by the tteokbokki shop to say hello, which he notice she doesnt eat everyday at, which most probably caused by her lack of income, help the old man cross the road, give some food or change to the beggars, went to the convenience store to get a cup of noodles and dog food and feed Taetae the stray dog.

Its nothing interesting really, just the same thing every day but Taehyung keeps on following her. He actually had fun watching her. Because even after the hell he put her through at work, she will still smile happily and skipped her way down the road. She will then tell about her day to Taetae and as he hides hinself behid the big trees in the park, Taehyung cant help but feels like shes talking to him. Afterall, she did name the dog after him. That must have mean something.

"So thats the concept for this dance. I think you will do a great job in picking out their outfits," Jong Soo, the cheographer that just seems to hate Taehyung very much, always picking on him when Jin is obviously the one doing the wrong moves, tells Y/N. Well, more like flirting with her, with the sly smile and occassional arm touch, and the way he leans against the wall seductively, Taehyung feels like barfing.  It annoys him more that Y/N actually giggles as a respond.

Giggles!

As if what the man is saying is even funny!

"Yeah. Me and the other stylist unnie has some ideas. I just came here to see what exactly are the dance moves," she beams at him.

"You wont be working late tonight right?" Jong Soo gave her a flirtatious smile that makes Taehyung fumed.

"No. Dont worry," she giggles some more. "I'll be on time today,"

"Great. I'll pick you up at 8 alright?" Jong Soo winks and turns back to Hoseok and Jimin, discussing further on the cheography. Taehyung pull his ears, making sure he heard it right. Did Y/N just implied that those two are going out together tonight? Like on a date?! He smirks, an idea rapidly emerging in his head.

Sorry Jong Soo, but Y/N is going to be late tonight.

/////

"Do you know how expensive this is? This is Gucci! GUCCI! Does your simple minded mind even know what Gucci is?!" The senior stylist yelled out at Y/N, steaming with fury as she lifted up the suit jacket that has been quite obviously torn.

"B-but I didnt do it. It was perfectly fine when I put it on Taehyung," Y/N tried to defend herself using whatever courage she has left in front of her fuming supervisor, eyes already glassy with unshed tears. One more scream and Y/N is sure she will burst out crying. Her supervisor huffed.

"Its always wasnt you isnt it? Then whose fault it is? Taehyung?! Why would he ripped his own clothes? Explain to me then!"

"I-I..." Y/N blinked rapidly at the woman in front of her. How can she explained it to her? That Taehyung has an unexplained hatred towards her and he simply does it for his sick enjoyment in seeing her suffer? No one would ever believed it. Not when Kim Taehyung is giving them his big innocent puppy eyes look. Oh please, Y/N knew better. He can fool the others, but not her. She can see his devil horns and pitchfork anytime, that stupid monster from hell. "I really didnt do it..." Y/N mumble in a small voice.

"I dont know what to say Y/N. You have made the same mistakes countless times. Over and over again I gave you a chance. I thought the allowance cut and punishments are enough but apparently it doesnt. I have to report you to the PD. I'm sorry,"

"No please no unnie. I swear I didnt do it! And please. I'll make it right. I-I will come out with another outfit in time for the shoot. Please!" Y/N bowed and begged. If her supervisor report her to the PD, she will lose her job for sure.

"I'm sorry but this mistake is too severe Y/N. This is a sponsored Gucci suit for an advertisement endorsement that Taehyung has to shoot. Theres no such thing as coming out with a new outfit. We need to inform Gucci and apologized. The shoot will be delayed until they sent us a new suit. Do you even know how much trouble you are in?" She huffed. "Stay over at the company tonight and help the makeup artist's unnies to clean their makeup brushes and anything else they need help with, and I dont want to hear any complaints from you," She looks at Y/N before she could even say a word. She can say goodbye to her date with Jong Soo. "You should be lucky this is the only punishment for you and pray that the PD wont ask you to pay back for the ripped suit. I'm really sorry Y/N," her supervisor shot her a sympathetic glanced and walks out, leaving Y/N sniffling alone on the floor.

Y/N was not given anymore styling job for the next two days, only petty things like ironing the discarded clothes or organizing the boys' wardrobe after they are done using it. Y/N knows her days as a stylist at the company are numbered. She can feel it. And true enough, at the end of that second day, she was asked to pack her things and leave the company in 24 hours notice. Too tired to even argue anymore, Y/N nodded and packed her things, but not before stalking off in the practice's room direction where she is going to give Kim Taehyung a piece of her mind.

/////

Taehyung doesnt feel so good. He felt dizzy and extremely exhausted. He is not sure if its because of overworking or he is having a damn fever. He is alone in the practice room, trying to do a few more rounds of that one particular move that he just doesnt seem to get right. He needs to ace it before that bloody Jong Soo gets on his ass again. Trying to overcome his dizziness, Taehyung stand up and get into position, but before he can replay the music, Y/N stormed in.

He wanted to smile at the sight of her but quickly caught himself and puts on his cocky expression instead.

"What are you doing here? This is a practice room and last I check you are just a stylist and stylist dont belong here," he said smugly, not even looking at her direction. Y/N sent him a death glare that he can clearly felt on his back.

"Well, lucky for me that I'm no longer a stylist then,"

Taehyung felt his heart beats faster. What does she meant by that? Did she get fired? Did she quit? Whats going on? But instead of asking what his heart wanted to know, he pushed his curiosity aside and let his ego and pride takes over.

"Oh thank god. Thats good news!" He smirked, gesturing his hand in a grateful manner. "Just between us, you are not a very good stylist. You know, with the ripping and broken zipper and getting your artist late and what not,"

"All of that is not my fault and you know it!" Y/N screamed out. How can this man be so shameless and just pure evil? "I swear! One day people will know that its you who did it!"

"Really now? And who's going to tell all this people? You?" Taehyung lets out a loud sarcastic laugh. "You can try sweetheart but no one will ever believe you,"

"I just didnt think that you would be such an asshole!" Y/N yelled, tears already prickling her eyes.

"An asshole?" Taehyung scoffed and smirks at her. "What big words coming out from a pathethic little girl. I've been called way worse than that sweetheart," he looks at her with eyes full of disgust.

"And thats something to be proud of?" Its Y/N's turn to scoff. "To be called something worse? What kind of a man are you?!"

"A handsome, popular, most sought after one. Definitely better than someone like you," he smirks. "Got any problem with that?"

"What the hell is your problem? Do you even hear yourself right now?! I understand that maybe your conceited ego is blocking you to see the real world around you, but what is your problem with me?! What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so? Why do you feel the need to make my life suffer?" Y/N's chest is heaving up and down heavily from anger, angry tears are already rolling down her cheeks. Seeing her cry did something to Taehyung's heart, but right before he can even answer her, his severe dizziness took over and he fainted onto the groud.

Panic at the sight of the idol fainting in front of her, Y/N come to her senses and tries to get him back to conciousness but failed miserably. He is not dead right? And he is not dead because of her right? Y/N placed his fingers under her nose to checked if he is still breathing and felt relieved wjen his warm breath hits her fingers. She quickly helps him up and place his head on her lap and thats when she realized that his temperature is above the roof, indicating a high fever. After a few minutes of wiping his face with a wet cloth, Taehyung seem to stir but doesnt seem to be able to make out any coherent words. The building is already empty by now and Y/N doesnt know the number of any of the members or their managers. She doesnt even know where his dorm is located at and calling her supervisor is out of the question. They will just assume she did something to Taehyung, seeing how hard she tries to blame him the moment before she got fired. Y/N doesnt know what to do and she surely cant just leave him here to stay the night. So she did the only thing she can think of, take him back to her apartment.

/////

"Mhmm Y/N?" Taehyung stirred in his sleep after Y/N puts him in bed with a warm blanket over him. Y/N take a good look at his face. Is he dreaming? His eyes are closed but he called out her name didnt he?

"T-tae? Are you awake? Can you hear me? You have a high fever. But I'm going to help you alright,"

"Y/N mhhmm. Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Y/N," he keeps mumbling but Y/N cant be sure if she heard him correctly. "I am sorry for hurting you. Never meant to mhhm,"

"Shh Tae its okay. You need your rest alright," Y/N pulls the blanket up to his neck again and continue to put the wet cloth on his forehead, trying her best to ensure he fell asleep.

"L-love you,"

"W-what?" Y/N eyes widen. No way. Taehyung must really be out from his mind. He must think she is someone else. Yes, that must be it. Y/N tries to ignore it and continues to take care of him although her increasing heart beat never seem to be able to calm down. Especially when Taehyung repeated himself, loud and clear.

"I love you Y/N,"

/////

Y/N stayed up all night after Taehyung passed out, trying to nurse him back to health. She did everything she can to lower down his temperature and by the time the dawn breaks Y/N fell asleep in pure exhaustion at his bedside and Taehyung's fever has left him entirely.

Taehyung open his eyes slowly once the bright sunlight reached his eyes. As he blinks rapidly and trying to take in the room around him, he panics. Everything seems unfamiliar. Where is he? He quickly looks around and found Y/N curled in a ball on the floor beside the bed.

Y/N? What is she doing here? Why is she here? He cant remember anything that happened last night. The last thing he remembers is they were arguing in his practice room.

The sound of the bed rustling and Taehyung trying to get out of bed as fast as he can woke Y/N's exhausted form up from her uncomfortable sleep. With sleepy eyes she looks at Taehyung and flashed him a small, tired smile.

"Oh you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?!" Taehyung glares at her. "Why are you here with me in this room!?"

Y/N was taken aback. His confession last night is still making her confused and anxious at the same time, and she had wanted to ask him about it today. She didnt think he would really love her, but maybe his confession means some kind of affection and they can atleast be friends now? But why is he back to the old Kim Taehyung? Could it be... that he doesnt remember?

"Y-you fainted last night. Due to a very high fever. So I-"

"Take me home to your house?"

"Y-yeah. I dont know what else to do," Y/N takes a step backwards, scared of his glaring eyes. Y/N knew she didnt do anything wrong. In fact, she should be furious that Taehyung is not down on his knees saying thanks right now but the man is so intimidating it scares her to the core.

"And you think I would believe that?" He scoffed. Y/N furrowed her brows. What is Taehyung saying? Wait.. he cant mean...

"You are not implying what I think you are implying, right Kim Taehyung?"

"If by that you mean I'm implying that you are taking advantage of me and my status by bringing me home to gain some kind of cheap publicity, then yes. Thats exactly what I'm implying!"

"I cant believe you!" Y/N yelled out, tears once again prickling her eyes. How can this conceited man even for one second think that about her? At that moment Taehyung's phone beeped at he scoffed as he scroll at the content of the message he just received.

"Yeah? You think I dont know how girls like you work?" He growls.

"Girls like me? What do you mean  y that?!"

"Your kind applied for a job at some entertainment company, then you will try to make one of us falls in love with you and when you dont succeed, you start to get creative and do this kind of shit. Right?"

"How do you even came up with all of this? What are you even talking about?!" Y/N is frustrated now. How can she get through that thick skull of his and make him see that she doesnt have any othe rintention than just helping him. Which seems to be a big mistake in from her part. She should have just left him in the practice room.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Taehyung shoved his phone,  the message he just received shone in front of her face to be read. To her horror, its a snippet of an article that is clipped together with a photo of Y/N helping Taehyung up the stairs of her apartment. Apparently someone saw her last night, although she has tried to be extremely careful, and the rumors are already ciculating that she is his secret girlfriend.

"Congratulations, you got the publicity that you wanted! But trust me on this, I wont just stand idly by and let you get away with this. You will pay for this rumor," with that Taehyung walked out from the apartment, slamming the door shut, not once looking back.

Y/N finally found out what he meant by her paying for the rumor two days later when the company release an official statement. Taehyung finally commented that Y/N is definitely not his girlfriend and she is just some ex staff who got fired and took advantage of him by bringing him home in his unconcious state. Its a lie alright, but it doesnt sound so bad right? Well, maybe for someone normal. But when that kind of statement comes out from a world wide popular idol with a gazillion of girls protecting him, it became dangerous. Real dangerous. And Y/N  has no where and no one to protect her from the crazy fans chasing her for "attacking and taking advantage of their oppa".

After the first assault from his crazy fangirls that she encountered at the supermarket that leads to her to being pushed and scraped her knees to the point of heavy bleeding, Y/N decided to stay home as much as she can. But for how long can she stay that way? Especially with the craziness of his fangirls that doesnt seem to die down. Y/N have to go out and look for a new job. She needs to buy her groceries. She needs to live. So as an attempt to save herself, she make her way one more time to the company, trying to figure out what to say once she sees Taehyung and the PD. She will beg if she have to. She will do anything and promise to dissappear from the company and Taehyung's life, if they agree to help stop the torment of his fans on her life. But going to the company is a huge mistake on her part, because she forgot that there are always many fans that gathers in front of the building, hoping to atleast catch a glimpse of the boys and just one look at her, all of them rushes over, fuming and angry.

Y/N didnt have the chance to turn back and ran away. Hell, she didnt even have the chance to breathe before she was attacked..hair being pulled, body being beaten, scratched, scream at and clothes being ripped apart. Her face is swollen and sore, bleeding from places that she dont even know and she cant think straight anymore as her vision starts to blurred.

The last thing she remembered was being pushed to the middle of the road and something huge and black might have hit her and she felt pain. So much pain, before a voice that scarily sounds like Taehyung yelled out her name.

Maybe she truly has died and went to hell.

/////

"Arent these fans tired of waiting for us in front of the company?" Namjoon peeks his head through the tinted windows as their black van approaches the company. They are back after recording a music show and the boys are all exhausted and just cant wait to go back to the dorm and sleep. Their manager who is sitting besides him in the driver's seat chuckles.

"Well Joon, they are the one- what the hell is that?!" He stepped on the breaks out of the sudden, making all seven boys who are sleeping, with the exception of Namjoon, slammed forward in their seat.

"Ouch hyung! Whats happening?" Jungkook rubbed his head and yawns, looking around. "Are we back yet?"

"Shit hyung. D-did you hit a person? A fan?" Hoseok panics.

"Who the hell couldnt see a big van passing through and just crossed the road like that?!" Their manager panics too and starts opening the door to check. Jimin and Taehyung looks around from the window at the other fans who are gathered and smirking at the thing, or person, they still dont know for sure, thats lying on the streets in front of the van.

"Uh.. why do I get the feeling that whoever thats lying there is not an accident and is thrown in front of the van?" Jimin gulp nervously.

"What do you mean Chim? Did a sasseang do this?" Jin is curious, trying to peek his head. Namjoon who is still frozen at the front seat finally lean forward to see whats going on, hoping that its not a dead body thats hes going to see.

"Oh fuck,"

"What Joonie?" Yoongi asks curious.

"We did hit a person," Namjoon gulps. "Its that... that girl. I dont know her name. But its that stylist that Taehyung hate,"

"Y/N?!"

Without waiting and not caring if the fans will see and crowds him or not, Taehyung jumped out from the van.

"Y/N!"

/////

"O-oww," Y/N tried to move her body but she cant. Everything hurts, and the blinding white light of the room is not helping at all. If this is heaven, its not as beautiful as people imagined it to be. And it smell like steriled tools and medicine.

"Dont move. It will hurt more,"

And the angel's voice sounds like Kim Taehyung. Maybe shes in hell and not heaven. Yes, thats definitely it.

"Where am I? Am I dead?" She asks. Taehyung chuckles at her cuteness.

"Fortunately you are not. You are in a hospital. Y/N.. you have been attacked by uh.. my.. uh fans..." Taehyung looks down in sadness and guilt. "D-do you remember any of it?"

"Y-yeah," she tries to nod but it hurts too much. "A little bit but what I can remember most is feeling pain. So much pain,"

"I'm sorry Y/N," Taehyung's voice is soft. Is he crying? The cocky, conceited Kim Taehyung is crying?

"W-why are you here Tae?"

Taehyung knows this is not an ideal situation but he cant help but feels happy when Y/N calls him Tae.

"I-uh, Y/N.. your leg is broken and one of your arms are broken too. You broke a rib, there are cuts all over your body and your face is destroyed which will take weeks to fully heal. I cant just leave you alone! We wanted to call your mother but we dont know her details. Can you give her number to me?" He explained to her softly. It kills him inside to see her like this. Broken. Emotionally and physically broken. All because of him.

"No! Uh.. please dont call her. I dont want her to worry," she begged.

"Alright Y/N. Then I wont call her. Which means you leave me no choice but to let me take care of you," Taehyumg grinned, making Y/N uncomfortable.

"M-must it be you? I can take care of myself. A-and can you transfer me to a normal hospital room? I cant afford this," she might not be able to move, but even from what she can see, this is a private VIP hospital room and she definitely cant afford that.

"First of all Y/N, its my fault that you are hurt. So I'm going to nurse you back to health, whether you like it or not. And second, dont worry about anything. I'll make sure you will received the best treatment and care there is. Alright? " he smiles warmly at her and Y/N has no more room to protest.

For the one whole time that Y/N is required to stay in the hospital, Taehyung never left her side.  He feeds her, helps her to go to the bathroom, talks to her, sing to her, read to her and makes her laugh. He did everything he could and Y/N sometimes couldnt  believe that this is the same Taehyung she knows from before. After two weeks, Y/N is finally allowed to go back home and of course, Taehyung asks his manager to send them to her house and he helps her settles in.

"I'm okay now Tae. Thanks for everything. You can go now," she bowed from her wheelchair and smile. Taehyung looks at her funny.

"Uh no?" He sits down on her couch and make himself comfortable. "Do you think I would leave you alone and helpless? I will be here everyday at early morning when you wake up and only leave when you are sound asleep. Until you are capable of doing things on your own, thats what I'm going to do. And no, you cant protest," he grins before Y/N could have said anything.

So that is what exactly Taehyumg did for the next two months. He came in early in the morning with breakfast in hand, using the spare key he shamelessly made for himself. Feeds her, helps her washed up, clean her house, did her laundry, buying her groceries, cook, which he is very bad at, reads to her and just talking to her, making her laugh all day. Y/N has started to get used to his presence now and learned that, when he wants to be, he is actually nice and fun to be around. Hes funny, entertaining, smart and sweet all rolled into one. If only it didnt take all this for him to show her his true colors.

As he spent more days with Y/N, Taehyung realized that the feelings he has for her is definitely not hate. He still doesmt know what it is, but definitely, definitely not hate. He loves spending time with her. All the little quirks he learns about her is making him more interested in her, and the best part of his day now, other than spending time with Y/N of course, is doing her chores of helping the same old man he saw before cross the road, drop one won bill each to the beggars and feeds Taetae, which Y/N accidentally told the name of the dog to him with a hard blush. It amazes him how even in her condition,she stills wants to help others. She still wants to buy the dog food and give the beggars whatever change she has although she herself has little to none. Taehyung has never known anyone like her, and every single day his heart blooms just from seeing her face or even hearing her name.

He realized now. Hoseok was right. He is in love. He is in love with Y/N. But he realized it too late because Y/N is finally capable of standing up and walking, although still toddling, and told him that he doesnt need to come by anymore.

Y/N doesnt need him anymore.

/////

"What are you doing here Taehyung?" Y/N looks at him weirdly as she opens the door to see Kim Taehyung standing nervously at the door, holding a bouquet of flowers tight in his grasp. "Did you forget that you dont need to come anymore?" She smiles. He has been coming over for more than two months now. Maybe he forgot that he doesnt need to come anymore. "You dont have to come anymore Tae. Thanks for everything Taehyung. I guess I'll see you when I see you okay?" She bowed and starts to close the door and Taehyung quickly pushed the door back open, surprising her.

"Do you need anything?" She looks at him, brows furrowed. Taehyung looks at her face. Her pretty, pretty face. How can he not notice it before? After taking a nervous gulp he opens his mouth.

"Y-you,"

"Excuse me?"

"Y-you. You Y/N. You asked me if I need anything and I know the answer to that now. I need you. You are the missing piece that I need in my life," he fiddled with the stem of the flowers he is holding.

"Huh?" Y/N looks at him with a confused face before it turns into a smile. "Ahh, you are making fun of me again. One last time?" She giggles. "Good one Taehyung. But you should have gone with something else. I would never believe you will like me but nice try though," she nods and push the door close again but Taehyung kept it open with his strength and pushed himself inside.

"I-I know its going to be hard to believe. I-I mean I wouldnt believe me either if I were you. But I'm serious Y/N. I'm dead serious. I-I want to try with you," he stuttered his words out.

"Try? Try what? What do you mean?"

"T-try to be your boyfriend,"

"B-boyfriend?" Y/N's eyes turns wide. "You should stop it Taehyung. I already know this is a joke Its not funny anymore," her face turns into despair and Taehyung panics when he sees her eyes are starting to get wet.

"I'm not kidding!" He placed down the flowers and held both of her hand in his, clasping it tight. "I knew now why I was so mean to you before. Why I make your life a living hell. No, not now. I have known it for quite some time but I'm just too stupid, cocky and conceited to admit to it," he peeks into her eyes. "Y/N, you have captured my eyes, and heart, the moment we first met way back and I was too over my head to accept the fact that you are unfazed by me. I got angry, and then I got jealous at how you can seem to live your life normally and happily without me. So, I start acting mean to you. I need to be on your mind, in your life. In any way that I can, even if its in a bad way. I did all that so that you will always remember me. In some ways it did work, you did think of me all the time, but in a bad, bad way,"

Y/N is speechless.

"I know its stupid. Idiotic. Childish at its best. But Y/N, after everything we have been through and after all the opportunities you gave me so I can get to know you, I am not afraid anymore. I realized I should have just come forward and said it. I should have try to win your heart by treating you the way you deserve, like a queen. I'm sorry Y/N,"

"I-I..."

"Its okay. You dont have to decide now. But please, please dont kick me out from your life. Let me be with you. Y/N... I love you," Taehyung finally have the courage to say how he really feels.

The air was filled with silence for a few moment, Taehyung nervously gulped as he waits for her reply. After a long excuriating wait, Y/N finally answers.

"N-no. This cant be true. You hated me! A-and I hated you!" Y/N took a step back from him and Taehyung smiles. From her answers he can already tell that he has managed to penetrate through her heart. He takes a step forward to her and gave her his signature smile.

"You dont hate me Y/N,"

"I-I do. I really hate you. You put me through hell! I hate you Kim Taehyung!"

"Do you really?" He cocked his head and grins. "It doesnt matter, because Y/N. I love you,"

"I-I,"

"I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you and I love you L/N Y/N,"he smiles. "And I will do whatever it takes to make it right again. To make you believe me,"

"Y-you are not lying Tae?"

"Y/N... I cant stop thinking about you. Your face is all I can see when I close my eyes. Your voice is all I can hear. Just being near you makes me happy. Heck, just hearing your name is enough to make my day. I will give up everything for you. I will take care of you. I will help you get back your job. I will make sure you no longer have to eat only cup noodles. I will buy you all the tickets you need to go back home and see your mother. I would even drive you there Y/N. I will even introduce you to my parents. And lets adopt Taetae for real. He can be friends with Yeontan. Would I do all these if I'm not really in love with you Y/N?"

"Tae..." Y/N sniffles, a smile finally grazing her lips.

"So..." Taehyung hold her hands and rub the back with his thumbs. "Do you still hate me now?"

"People might say I'm stupid... but I... I love you Taehyung," she grins, and Taehyung was taken by surprise. Is this for real? D-did she confessed? "I have love you since we first met but I knew there is no way you would go for me. So I pushed it aside,"

"No!" Taehyung panics. "Uh I mean please dont. Dont push your feelings away. Please. I'm here now. I'm here to give you all my love Y/N. I promise. I promise you will be the happiest woman in the world," he takes her hand that he is still holding and kissed it. "Thank you Y/N. And we can go as slow as you want. As long as I still get to be by your side,"

Y/N nods. Her smile too big to be concealed anymore.

"Yeah. Lets do that. Lets rebuild back our relationship," her eyes looks at him lovingly. "And you dont have to do anything Taehyung. Hearing you say you love me? I'm already the happiest woman in the world,"

"Then, I will make you happy every single day. I love you L/N Y/N. So so much," he leans in close and cups her chin. "M-may I? Kiss you?"

Y/N nodded shyly.

And nothing could ever describe the feeling she felt when Taehyung finally touched his lips with hers. She fell in love with the devil, and it feels like heaven.

[redefiningthirtysomething]

I’m going going, back back to AZ AZ

2 years ago we were living in Phoenix, Arizona. It was the best decision we made for our family and we thought things would be amazing. I am born and raised in Los Angeles, CA but life in LA was too busy, always working, Bella was growing up and life was just to expensive. I was looking for something else, something slower. I was tired of trying to keep up with work, my friends, family,... it all was very overwhelming.

We packed up our SUV and put our LA life away and drove 8 hours with our baby girl (she was 7).

We arrived so excited, ready for our new life, full of expectations. We planned this months in advance, we saved money, we prepared our friends and jobs. We had going away parties and tears. We arrived to our home, a 3 bedroom, hard wood floor, made for us house. We celebrated over drinks on our first night and experienced our first monsoon in our first week, It was spectacular. I had never seen anything like it. After settling in and introducing ourselves to the neighborhood I landed a job at a local hospice and Eli resumed his stay-at-home-dad job during the day and a night job he got at a local facility. I worked 3 days on, 4 days off 12 hour shifts. Bella was going to a great school right across the park, we would literally walk her over, drop her off and have a morning workout, followed by our breakfast, some morning sex and Eli then was off to sleep to be ready for his night job. We were living in a beautiful big home in a quiet neighborhood with a nice yard for Bella, fireplace, we had a cat and a Kitchen island I absolutely loved. My Master bedroom was bigger than the size of our entire LA apartment and my closet space, sigh... why did we ever leave? ... well, here's what happened.

We made plans to live there for life, but we only lasted six months. I got a job a few weeks after we moved in, we were living off of our savings and we were  planning our next career moves. The Job I got was good, but it paid very low and yes, I know that is expected in AZ the wages are less than in CA, what I made in CA was an unreasonable wage in AZ and they clearly told me this during my interview. But I thought, well ok I can figure this out as we go. The bills or the first month were a little outrageous. We moved to AZ in August ... need I say more? It was HOT AF so we had the AC unit on all day and all night long at a cool 71. Although some locals told us how to maintain a low electricity bill during the summer, we had NO IDEA how serious they were and didn't quite listen to their advice! It cant be that bad right ? wow, $600 for a month? A MONTH? That's not even including any of the other bills. that was the electricity ALONE! It knocked me out of my shoes. Ok, so the bills became an issue but we got a handle on it the best we could, but we were definitely in a strict budget.

A few months after we moved in my sister and her GF were having a hard time in LA and we agreed to help them out and let them live with us in AZ, we had an extra room and it would help us with the bills, plus it would be nice to have family around since we still hadn't made any new friends. It was good for a while but turned ugly really quick. I don't like to talk shit about people, but the GF has a nasty attitude and she's just an overall toxic person, I kind of see her as a bully who cried wolf. Awful, awful. Unfortunately my sister doesn't see it and they always think it's everyone else. I mean if she's happy with that, it's on her but like I've said before, leave us out of your negativity. Anyway, things got heated one night, she yelled at my daughter and insulted Eli, and I had to defend my family. After a screaming match, and an almost full on throw down in my kitchen I kicked them out. They moved to Tempe and my sister and I stopped talking. Cause of course, we attacked her, so they say. I have never in my life been in a fight and i'm so non confrontational... but apparently that night big bad me was in attack mode. Such silliness.

At this point, we're broke AF, we have no friends and my sister lives 20 miles away and doesn't talk to us. Ugh, Great start. Seriously the only good part for us about AZ was the happiness Bella had. She made so many friends on our street, she ruled that street basically. This girl was never home, she was always outside riding her bike or her scooter, or playing in someones yard, at the park ... she loved it. Sleep overs at out house, she had her room which we decorated to her style, her own bathroom...she loved it. I cant even begin to explain how good we had it. Bella was in her happy place.  Isn't this what we moved for? We completely lost sight of it. Eli and I were arguing a little bit, we were kind of just annoyed at life and we took it out on each other. Bella was getting stressed out because she hates to see us bicker, she tried to help us make up a few times. We don't like to put that on her, so we would make up, but a week later we were both back to not giving AF. We made things work, but there was a tension.

A little after Christmas we found out I was pregnant, 2 weeks pregnant to be exact and that very same day I found out I was pregnant I received a call from my boss at my old job in LA that they needed me to come back and that they would give me a raise. We looked at each other and it was like a weight lifted off our shoulders, we didn't even think about it before saying yes. We packed our shit and were gone by the weekend. We dipped out SO fast, we like ran back to LA ... what we thought was the best decision. Boy... were we wrong.

We moved in with Eli's parents, we were broke and didn't have money or time to find a new place. I started back at work that upcoming Monday and we had to get situated ASAP. work, yes, work was great. I went back and they started me at a great rate and It was like I never left. I still had my status of 10 years and accumulated my PTO, benefits as if I never left. So grateful that they thought well enough of me to ask me back. Bella went back to her old elementary school and things went back to Normal. Months went by and I'm super pregnant. We decided to stay at his parents house during the pregnancy because I didn't want to add anymore stress.  I have come to realize that I don't like living with other people other than Eli and my girls. People have something to say about something and always give opinions. whatever, I stay at work or in my room most of the time anyway. But, that's not how I wanted to live. Soon after I had Olivia, Elijah went to work so that I can spend time with the baby and bond. 4 weeks in a was stir crazy and made him quit his job and I went back to work. That's his family we live with and I am not comfortable, I don't feel like I can just go make breakfast and lounge around, not that I cant but it's a me thing. I don't like having to tell people where I am going if I'm leaving the house. I have always been very independent and I am easily annoyed when I don't have my freedom. plus, hey we pay rent ... I don't really have to explain my life ... but I cant be rude you know, so I bite my tongue.

We live in a trendy area of LA filled with hipsters, bars and restaurants .... and also very high rent. A 1 bedroom small apartment on the low end will cost you somewhere along 1900 month. jeez. We haven't been able to move out or find a decent price. We almost decided to buy a home but they're at 1 million for a little house. Bella has her room, a small room ... literally half the size of her AZ bedroom and she cant play outside , we live on a busy street and with the mentally ill/homeless that hang around the area doesn't make it safe. So she spends most of here time inside unless we go somewhere. Olive sleeps with us, we co-sleep, we did with Bella too, but soon I am going to have to transition her to her own room, plus she's about ready to crawl but we don't have space! Another thing is things have changed here. I don't see any of my friends, they don't have kids so they're out traveling and brunching. Things that I can't do right now. I haven't seen them at all to be honest, maybe once since I've been back from AZ. Olivia is 8 months now. Management at work changed, we have a new director and things are so different from the company I once knew. My sister eventually moved back to LA and I made peace with them, I wanted to have my sister in my life and things were good until recently. The GF strikes again, but with my mom! that's another story for another day. so, yet again my sister thinks its everyone else, except her GF. Also, I don't have a relationship with my little sister, but we will get into her in another blog.

I am a total mom and my focus is 100% on my kids and my family. I didn't know this until I had them.. obviously. I used to be all about me, going out, working and living my life. everything changed. everything. I live for my kids, I love them so much and my ultimate goal in my life is to make sure they are taken care of. why the fuck did we leave Arizona? Because we had no friends? I want to slap myself sometimes. were we bored? who fucking cares? Bella was happy! We could have made it work. We could have but we ran and took the easy way out. Eli and I sat down one day and we were trying to figure out our next move. we need to grow and make changes to better us as a family. We asked ourselves where is our happy place? where are our kids going to be happy?

The move back to AZ is in July. YES! we are so excited and thrilled. This time we see things differently. this time we know what to expect , we know the summers are harsh and we know the job market, we know that we only have each other out there... and that's OK! I am going to start an online business which I am currently working on. Eli will be the one working and I will stay home with bebe. It's NOT about us anymore. The house is set and ready for us we just gotta pack and go. By the way, we have a family house in AZ. It's my moms and she rents it out, but she lets us (her daughters, family) stay there and it's currently without renters. She knew I would go back. She knows that we have to make sacrifices for our kids sometimes. I don't feel that I am sacrificing this time.

I have faith and we love adventure.

[ladynyx92-blog]

A “Little” Surprise

Minseok X Reader _______________________________________________

The rain crashed against the window as I waited for Minseok. I was in the little cafe where we first met. He had tripped over someones bag and spilt coffee all over my baby blue dress. I was soaked through and to increase both our embarrassment the hot liquid made the dress see through. He was so flustered that when I think back on it I always giggle. He was adorable then and is still adorable now. Its been three years since that day and every year we visit this same cafe on our anniversary, but this time was different.

Minseok ran through the door his usual messy hair even messier now from the rain. He shook off the remaining drops and ran a hand through his hair looking over to me. Smiling softly I waved and admired as he made his way to me. Usually in situations like this everyone would think I called him to meet me, but no. He called me. My stomach was in knots as I remembered the phone call today. His tone had been frustrated and almost angry on the phone and it was urgent that he speak to me in person. It had been nearly a month since we had spent time together so I was really worried I had done something wrong. Had he changed his mind about moving in together? Were we breaking up over something I did? I cant think of anything but maybe I did something without realising.

Minseok took a seat and gave me his signature smile. Just that perfect mix of cute and damn sexy. A mix nobody else had perfected. “Sorry I’m late. Paperwork got insane after I got off the phone with you. One of our clients had a whole change of plan and it put the project back by about six days and” he trailed off shaking his head “anyway that’s not why I called you” I nodded slowly and he rubbed his hands on his jeans nervously “lets order coffee first” he said waving to the waiter. We ordered our coffee and I sat in nervous silence as we waited for it to come. He wasn’t looking me in the eye and eventually I couldn’t stay quiet. “Minseok whats wrong? You’re scaring me a little bit here” I asked quietly. He looked up and opened his mouth to speak when the coffee arrived. Quietly we bowed our heads thanking the waiter then waited till she was gone before Minseok spoke. “I got a promotion” he said calmly but he didn’t exactly sound thrilled so I held off on congratulating him. “Why do you not sound happy about it?” “Because its conditional. If I want to keep the job I gotta go work for nine miserable months in China starting next week” he sighed wiping his hand down his cheek, then through his hair. “Oh” I said quietly thinking about it “and you haven’t given an answer yet because of me?” Minseok sighed and shook his head “No I didn’t answer yet and my boss is giving me a hard time he wants an answer by tonight” he sounded so defeated my heart almost broke. I reached across the table and took his hand in mine. “Take it” “What?” “Take the promotion” “But nine months?” I smile and squeeze his hand “I’ll still be here waiting for you when you get back” His warm smile made my heart flutter as he lent forward and took my hands in his. “You promise?” I nod and lean forward pecking his lips softly “I’ll be here. In //our// apartment.” He gave a small chuckle and kissed me before pulling back and getting his phone. “Be right back” I nodded and watched him go call his boss. On his way back I notice him pay for the coffees and give him a curious look when he hands me my coat. “I wanna do something before I have to get packed” he said helping me put on my coat. I chuckle and nod “okay”

I wasn’t sure how long we were driving but when we stopped I felt his soft warm hands remove the blindfold. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust before I saw the ocean in front of us. It was beautiful. Minseok lent over and placed gentle kisses on my neck, making me shiver and giggle a little. He undid my seat belt and reached over letting back my seat. I don’t know when he removed his seat belt or how he managed to climb over me, but I didn’t care. His touches were gentle, his kiss was loving. I knew he was trying to make a memory here and now. One I could cherish while he is away. It might disappoint some that all we did was kiss with some light touches, but it was enough for me. When he eventually pulled away he said nothing. Instead he got out of the car and took my hand helping me out too. His wonderful smile graced his lips as he brought me over to the fence and turned me to face the ocean. Hugging me from behind and whispering in my ear “Remember this while I’m away. Anytime you get lonely or you miss me close your eyes and remember I love you” he smiled into my neck as the sight of the setting sun brought a delighted gasp from my lips. “Oppa its beautiful” I whispered in awe at the sun set. He let go of me and moved to my side. I looked over and noticed her was nervous, rubbing his hands on his sleeves as if trying to stop them from sweating. “I um.. I wanted to do this next week but… I’ll be in China so…” he turned and looked at me. My eyes went wide and my mouth opened in shock as he knelt on one knee before me. “_________ you have made my life worth living. Every morning I wake up wanting you next to me. Every night I want to sleep with you in my arms. I want to spend every hour with you. Make meals with you watch movies. I want to be there for you when you are frightened or when you are ill. I love you and” he gulped as he took a ring box out of his pocket and opened it “would you like to spend your life with me, even when I am being an absolute dork? Will you marry me?” I felt the tears roll down my cheeks as I nodded. I couldn’t speak. I was so emotional I just cried as he slipped the claddagh ring on my finger. It had a beautiful sapphire in the centre heart and the symbolism was overwhelming. The claddagh was a traditional Irish ring. It was a symbol of love friendship and loyalty. I had told Minseok about them once but they were not easy to get outside of Ireland. He stood up and took me in his arms, kissing away my tears. “I love you” he whispered and held me tighter. “I love you too” was all I could manage to say. The realisation that he would be gone for nine months was beginning to sink in. I hugged him tighter and whispered “I will be here when you get back. Waiting. In our apartment. I’ll find us one while you’re away. One we’ll both be able to call home”. Minseok chuckled and pulled back far enough to kiss my forehead. “I trust you” he said with a smile before hugging me tight as we watched the sun set.

The next couple of days were busy. Minseok needed to pack for nine months away and I had already begun apartment searching. I dropped him to the airport and cried as he left. It would have been easier if I hadn’t seen the tears in his eyes as he kissed my forehead and said goodbye. But it wasn’t goodbye. I would see him again in nine months.

A week after Minseok had left I discovered I was pregnant. I told my parents and I told his parents. I didn’t know if I should tell Minseok or surprise him when he got back. I knew he always wanted kids. I also knew he would be worried about me if he knew I was pregnant while he was in China. Mrs Kim went with me to the doctor and we found out I was due two weeks before Minseok was due home. Which meant it was possible he would be coming home to a child. If not he was definitely coming home to a pregnant fiance.Mrs Kim and I spent the whole evening discussing which would be best for both myself and Minseok. We didn’t want him worrying but we also didn’t want to give him a heart attack when he got back. In the end we decided to tell him I would have a surprise for him. One that will change his life but in the best way possible. That night Mrs Kim and I rang him on a video call. She sat with me holding my hand under the table so he wouldn’t know I was nervous. He was delighted to see us and told us about his week and what was coming next. He wouldn’t have time for many calls over the next nine months which made us feel better about our decision not to tell him the whole story. He was curious what surprise but Mrs Kim helped me to keep it a secret. She told him to stop asking and not to ask me when he talks to me alone. He agreed while laughing and I couldn’t help but laugh too. She was serious but pleasant so she didn’t mind us laughing. After-all she was giving her son orders not to question his own fiance.

Just like he predicted he had very little time over the nine months do we talked maybe once a month. It was hard but I was kept busy between apartment hunting and doctor appointments. As we hoped the baby came right on time. Labor was terrifying and really painful. All I wanted was Minseok there to hold my hand but Mrs Kim, who has asked me to call her Eomeoni, stayed by my side and held my hand tight. My parents came later. My mother was brought in to me and she wiped my forehead for me and helped me too. With Eomma and Eomeoni I managed to stay reasonably calm and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She had Minseok’s dazzling eyes and my sweet smile. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. My baby. I had talked baby names with Eomeoni and she remembered a name Minseok said he always liked. Azalea. So that is what I called her. Our baby. Azalea. She was small but very healthy and the doctors let me home after three days of observation. Eomma and Eomeoni came to my new apartment with me. They had helped me move in over the last three months and had set up the babies room. Everything was perfect for Minseok to come home.

The day arrived and I went to the airport alone. Eomma and Eomeoni stayed with Azalea. We agreed it would be easier to tell Minseok about his daughter if his daughter was home with her Grandmothers. I waited by the arrivals gate. My face lighting up when I saw him. He saw me and almost ran to me taking me in his arms and spinning me around holding me close and kissing me deeply. When we parted I giggled “I missed you too” He chuckled and pecked my forehead “Hello my love.” He took my hand and kissed each knuckle then kissed the ring and looked at me with a loving and tender smile. “Lets get you some coffee” I said calmly and took one of his bags as I walked to the cafe. He gave me a quizzical look and followed “Get /me/ coffee? Not us?” I nodded slowly and put his bag down “I’m not drinking coffee at the moment” Smiling I pecked his cheek and went to the counter for our drinks. Confused Minseok sat down and watched me. I could feel his eyes scanning over my body. I gulped knowing he will realise I have a bit more weight than when he left, thankfully I didn’t gain an awful lot while pregnant but of course I did gain weight and my hips are slightly wider after giving birth.

When I returned to the table with one coffee and one herbal tea, Minseok’s eyebrows raised into his fringe and he tapped his finger on the table “so um… this surprise?” He asked suspiciously “its not something small is it?” He was already watching me for any tell tale signs of what is going on. Slowly I shake my head “not really. No” My hands were trembling as I reached for my cup but his hand took mine stopping me from taking a drink. “Whats wrong?” He asked his expression serious and concerned. I couldn’t help but chuckle softly as I shake my head “nothings wrong. I just …” I gulp and take a deep breath “I have kept a big secret from you for nine months and I am a little nervous to tell you now” I admitted. He smiled and squeezed my hand before using his other hand to take a sip of coffee. After he put the cup back down he spoke softly “why don’t I try to guess then?” I bit back a laugh and lifted my cup “try but I don’t think you can guess this” I took a sip and placed my cup back down. “Whatever it is you kept it for nine months. I am guessing you didn’t tell me so that I could focus on work. Correct?” I simply nodded with a small smile. “You’ve also gained a bit of weight since I saw you nine months ago” I gulped and again nodded wondering if maybe he will get it. He shook his head muttering “cant be” he looked back at me carefully “Tell me” I took a deep breath and took my phone from my pocket opening it up on a picture of new born Azalea and slid the phone to him. He looked at me confused then looked at the phone. At first he was confused then slowly realisation began to sink in and shock replaced his confused expression. He started scrolling through the pictures seeing every single one that I took of her. At least one every day since she was born two weeks ago. Tears were in his eyes when he looked back up at me “Are you serious?” I could feel tears in my eyes as I nodded and smiled “you have a daughter” The shock faded and was replaced by awe as he looked through the pictures again “We have a baby? We have a daughter?” I nodded knowing they weren’t really questions. He gave back my phone and took my hand “where is she now?” “At home with her grandmothers. They are already spoiling her” Minseok laughed and squeezed my hand “Can we go see her?” I nod and point to his coffee “do you wa-” “No lets go” he interrupted pulling me from my seat and carrying his bags. I laughed and nodded leading him to the car. His excitement was making me feel much better about everything. I had felt guilty keeping it from him but now he knows and is excited to meet his daughter.

The drive home was full of Minseok asking questions. He asked everything he could about the pregnancy and apologised for not being at her birth even though he didn’t know. He scolded me lightly for not telling him then kissed my hand and my cheek forgiving me. When we got to the apartment he got nervous. He hesitated outside the front door then again in the hall. “What if she doesn’t like me? What if she starts crying?” He asked me as I hung up our coats and put his bags in the closet to unpack later “Don’t worry.” I said bringing him into the livingroom where Azalea lay in her pram. Eomma and Eomeoni greeted Minseok and hugged him tight congratulating him. Azalea heard his voice and started to cry. Minseok frowned “Shes crying because of me already?” I picked her up and smiled to him “not because of you” He was nervous as I handed her to him but he took her anyway. Holding her carefully he looked at her and smiled. “Hello baby girl” he cooed rocking her gently and taking her tiny hand in his “I’m your Appa.” He whispered proudly to her. “We called her Azalea” I told him quietly and he smiled his eyes not leaving his daughter. “Azalea. My beautiful Azalea please don’t cry. Appa’s here” he coos. To his amazement she stops crying and opens her eyes looking up at him. A small gasp leaves Minseok’s lips as he sees his eyes looking back at him “she has my eyes” he whispers. Nobody says anything not wanting to disturb the beautiful moment between Minseok and his baby. “Appa will always protect you. My beautiful baby girl.” He lent down and kissed her hand then her forehead gently. Looking up at me he smiled before looking back at Azalea. “Our Baby”

_______________________________________________ I hope you enjoyed this story. Please let me know what you think and if enough people like it I might write another ^-^

[anything-advice-blog]

Submission - Drinking Boyfriend

I apologize if this isn’t urgent, but part of me feels as if it is. I’d appreciate it if this could be labeled as anonymous if possible too please. If not, then that’s fine. Anyway, here’s my story. It might get long, so I apologize. 

I have someone in my life that I love more than anything in the entire world. Anywhere in the world would feel like home, so long as he is with me. The problem is, he’s a drinker. I knew this going in, but I didnt know the extent of how much until a bit later. I loved him, so I didnt care.  We dated for 2.5 years before I couldnt take it anymore. He would get very angry when he was drunk, and he would only ever yell when drunk. I dont believe in the saying that “drunk words are sober thoughts”. I honestly believe that the alcohol changed his entire mind and made him lose all self control.  At the beginning of this year (2018) I left him. My heart is shattered into a million pieces. It was a nasty breakup, but my heart doesn’t want to move on. I told him when I left that if he gets help and can remain sober, I would be willing to give him a second chance, but I can’t take the alcohol and the anger that comes with it anymore. He never yelled or lost his temper when he was sober, and he would talk to me about what was upsetting him instead. When he drank, he just let loose.  I know he feels the same way about me as I do about him, but in order for me to seal in the deal that he needed to get help, I got a no contact order against him that is in effect for 1 year. I was so angry at him at the time I didn’t even think twice about getting it. I regret it so much now. I didn’t want it to be for a whole year, but when I was standing in front of the judge I was too scared to ask for it to only be for a few months.

I can’t stop thinking about him no matter how hard I try. I got a new job recently and I’m having such a hard time focusing on all the new things I have to learn because all I want to do is tell him all about it and I cant get my mind off of him no matter how hard I try. Literally everything reminds me of him. Im still connected with some of his family and it was mentioned to me that he started doing better with the drinking. I’ve contemplated filing to drop the no contact order, but I need to know he’s making progress first.

My heart aches for him. I feel horrible for leaving the way I did (we shared an apartment, and he cant afford it on his own (I moved back in with family)), so he had to find somewhere else to live, while also losing the love of his life.

I don’t know what question I’m asking here to be honest. My family suggested that it’s too soon to file to drop the order and to give it more time, but I can not possibly last an entire year without talking to the one person I love more than anything in the world. My friends only offer the “never talk to him ever again” advice, but if they were in the same situation as me, I know they’d feel the same as I do now. 

Maybe I’m asking this: assuming (in a perfect world) he made more progress with getting sober and cleaning himself up, what should I do? Is it wise to file to drop the no contact order? how soon might it be appropriate to do so? My heart yearns only for him, and my mind thinks about him day and night. I’m not ready to classify myself as single. My mind wants to keep it at “it’s complicated”. I already have depression, but this just makes me feel worse. I dont have suicidal thoughts, but I honestly dont think I can carry on without him. I’ve never felt a love like this before, and even if people dont think he’s right for me, my heart believes in him.  I need advice. If you need more information, please let me know. 

Hey love,

I think you should wait at least six months before dropping the order. I know that you love him and that you want to be with him; however, I believe in healthy relationships as much as I believe in anything else. If he doesn't get help and really work on it, if he doesn't overcome this, your future may be grim. If you start a family, you can't risk having that kind of violence - whether it is physical or verbal - around your children. You can't risk the quality of your life in the future because you miss him now. I know that it's easier said than done but trust me. He needs to get the help both he and you deserve. So give him the chance to sober up. He may have a lot of pent up stress and anxiety that can only be expressed when drunk. I get that way a lot. I get very emotional and I cry a lot because when I'm drinking I let my walls come down and it gets ugly sometimes. It doesn't mean that he nor I are bad people. So he may need to seek counseling . There may be unresolved anger that needs to be talked about and dealt with.

It is a very complicated situation. I advise that you give it adequate time to settle in and for him and you to figure out where you want to be in your future. Maybe after six months, you can talk about long term goals if you decide to get back together. You can talk about different ways that you can help each other. How you can help him express his feelings in a healthy way so that he doesn't get belligerent when drunk. 

I would also advise that you take time to find yourself as well. I know that you love him and it is more than okay to love someone as much as you do. But please don't make him your reason to live. You should help each other find joy I life and even more when you're together but I don't think one should be the sole reason for the other's happiness. For the time being, spend it with your friends and family. Go and do the things that you enjoy with those that love you. Find happiness outside of your partner.

Always by your side,

Kelly

[babygirlgalitzine]

i'm not sure if you'd write anything like this but i would LOVE to read a fic where rob is say an escort and aaron is a rich business man (or switch them around idk) and robert starts falling for him but aaron starts getting more detached the more time they spend w each other

Escort

Aaron stood in front of his full body mirror, smoothing hisgrey suit down, turning sideways on to check if he looked presentable. He’dbeen invited to a industry party, a high class event, and he knew that peoplewould ask questions if he showed up alone. He’d been to so many of them beforethat it had gotten repetitive, barely walking in the door before someone askedwhere his plus one was.

“I’m single.” He’d say. “I’ve got nobody to take to eventslike this.”

They’d sympathise, of course they would. A young, attractivemulti-millionaire: single? But they didn’t seem to twig that Aaron didn’t wantto introduce anyone to this world. He spent so much time in it, trying to buildhis own business up from scratch, wanting to get that validation and successfullife that he dreamed of having, that he just didn’t have time to meet a newbloke.

Which is why he had called up an escort business, asked foran attractive man, similar age to Aaron’s own, in hope that people would fallfor their lie. He was due to be knocking on Aaron’s door any moment, Aarondeciding that they should at least meet up beforehand so that they could sortout their cover story.

What Aaron hadn’t taken into consideration, however, was howattractive the escort would be.

He turned up at Aaron’s door, his shoulder leaning againstthe frame, black suit perfectly fitted to his body. It wasn’t designer, but atleast it was tailored perfectly, and for that, Aaron thanked his lucky stars.

His name was Robert, and he looked amazing.

“So, what’s the plan?” Robert asked, sneaking a look atAaron’s arse as he bent over to pick up his wallet and keys.

“You’re my boyfriend, we’ve been together for six months andI’ve kept you secret because I didn’t want to mix my business with my personallife.” Aaron spoke, explaining everything to Robert whilst walking around hisroom.

Robert nodded along, listening carefully to Aaron’sinstructions. He needed this money, and hopefully, if he did a convincingenough job tonight, Aaron would hire him for more jobs.

“So, Aaron, how exactly are you single?” Robert had askedthe invasive question as Aaron sat in the drivers seat. “I mean, you’re hardlyugly, and you’re successful.”

Aaron pulled out of his drive, beeping the button againstthe brick wall, allowing the electronic gates to open up in front of them.“Building a business empire takes time and patience. While my friends from backhome went out to nightclubs every weekend, I was working on business plans, andsigning contracts.” Aaron explained, eyes firmly on the road. “I didn’t havetime to go out and meet men, it just wasn’t something that ever interested me-I figured that once I had my business the way I wanted it, I’d get a boyfriend,but I really just haven’t done anything about that.”

“What exactly is your business?” Robert asked, pressing hishead against the plush leather head rest, eyes trained on Aaron’s side profile,inwardly not at all complaining about having to spend time with the attractiveman.

“I buy and sell classic cars and car parts.” Aaronexplained. “I used to work at my uncles garage and we had a few classic carscoming in from time to time and that’s how I got interested in them. So now Ihave dealers in different places all over the country, a few in Europe, and we basicallyget hold of the cars, sell them off to different places if the price is right.”

Robert nodded, already sensing that Aaron was going to askhim a question next.

He did.

“How did you get into the escort business then?”

Robert chuckled, knowing that pretty much everyone he metthrough his job either asked the same question, or wanted to ask it.

“I was nineteen and my dad pretty much abandoned me.” Hestarted, voice trailing off a little bit. “I didn’t have a lot of money, andthe money I did have allowed me to be put in a hostel for a couple of nights.Within a couple of weeks I met my first boss and he helped me get off thestreets through being an escort. It’s not the best job in the world, but itmakes money, and as a nineteen year old that was the most important thing.”

Just as Aaron predicted, the moment he walked into thebuilding with Robert on his arm, they were bombarded with questions. It was thefirst time for people at the event to see Aaron’s personal life, even if itwasn’t actually real. Robert stayed with Aaron, smiling at and shaking handswith everyone Aaron mingled with, talking both business and pleasure. Aaronknew Robert had experience with this, that much was easy to see. Aaron handed apint over to Robert, who he had left to speak to Mark, who had only recentlycome into the industry circle. Robert, attempting to keep up with the lie,kissed Aarons jawline in a way to say ‘thank you’, his nose tickling as itbrushed against Aarons beard. Unsurprisingly, Aaron flushed a pale shade ofred, not used to this contact at all, but thankfully everyone played it offthat Robert just caused Aaron to react that way because it was Robert.

“I cant believe you kept him hidden for six months Aaron!”Marks wife exclaimed, drinking the last of her champagne. “He’s definitely akeeper.”

Aaron chuckled, naturally wrapping his arm around Robertswaist, which even surprised himself. “Definitely.” He responded, pullingRoberts body into his own.

A day later, the money had been transferred into Robertsbank account, more money than he had been expecting. The money Aaron had givenRobert was on par with the money he would be expected to earn if they had hadsex, which would now mean that Robert would be called in, because, in all thetime Robert had been at this firm, he was one of the escorts that didn’t havesex with clients. Especially first time clients.

Robert was right, because less than an hour later, he wasbeing called into the office.

“This money that Mr Dingle transferred to you.” His boss, John,said. “What did you do to get that?”

Robert shrugged, knowing that it’d be difficult to get outof this one. “I just went to his industry party, acted like his boyfriend. Ikissed his cheek, and nothing else happened. He was just rich, probably thoughtthat was how much I was owed.”

John tilted back on his chair, intertwining his fingersacross his chest. “Anyway, whatever you did yesterday worked. He wants to be aregular client for you now.”

“Really?” Robert asked, genuinely shocked and surprised. Heknew that they seemed to work well together, and that people bought into theirlie, but he didn’t expect Aaron to want to become a regular client.

John nodded. “Obviously we’ll have to do the normal checksbefore you both see each other again, and he has shown evidence of being clean.You can do your checks today and we’ll go on from there.”

It was three days. Three whole days since Aaron had asked tobecome a regular client for Robert. They both had all the relevant checks, justto make sure they were both clean in case anything did end up happening betweenthe two of them. Aaron had asked for Robert to meet him at his work office,knowing full well that people had been talking and the news that Aaron actuallyhad a boyfriend had spread like wildfire. People had been asking Aaron how theyhad met, a few of the women wanting to see photos of Robert, and Aaron hadbarely managed to escape the wrath of them when he kept his cards close to hischest. That was the thing about being the boss of his own business. Most peoplewould expect him to be harsh and refuse to speak to his employees, but Aaronbelieved that that wasn’t the way to run a business. He, from the very start,didn’t treat people in a hierarchal order, he was down to earth and lookedafter everyone, treating everyone in the exact same way.

Robert walked in, giving his name to the man on the desk,who rang up to Aaron’s office. Robert knew the minute he came into contact withpeople at the firm that all eyes were on him. It was like they just knew. Aaron had already warned him thatpeople had been gossiping, he had asked John to pass that information on toRobert.

“Never expected to hear from you again.” Robert announcedafter shutting Aaron’s door.

Aaron stood up from his chair, walking to the front of hisdesk and leaning against it, arms folded across his body. “Well everyone wantedto meet my boyfriend, so I thought I’d give them the pleasure.” He explained.“But that means that the lie has to keep going on, so I thought I’d become aregular client for the time being.”

“Yeah about that.” Robert started. “You gave me way too muchmoney for what is was! I had my boss on my back think we slept together.”

Aaron smirked, pushing off the desk and walking towardsRobert. “Well you are attractive.”

Robert rolled his eyes, all of a sudden become a shy mess,something that just didn’t happen to him. He was confident, sometimes overlyso. But not now. Not with Aaron.  Hesomehow managed to speak. “So how is this happening? Do you just get in touchwith John when you need me or?”

“I was thinking more, you give me your number and we canstay in touch through that?” Aaron asked.

Robert nodded, taking his phone out of his jeans pocket andhanding it over to Aaron, taking that moment to look at him closely. He wasdressed formally, a crisp white shirt tucked into some black suit trousers, hissleeves rolled over slightly, showing off just a little bit of his forearms.Robert appreciated his chest, and knew that Aaron must work out regularly toachieve that. He was gorgeous in Robert’s eyes, and he didn’t like to see hisclients in anyway other that just clients, but he couldn’t help it when it cameto Aaron.

The next couple of times they met, Aaron had needed Robertfor business events. People had become aware that Aaron was going to them morefrequently than he needed to, and it was no coincidence at all that he onlywent to them to spend time with Robert. None at all.

Aaron didn’t seem to care what people were saying about him,he actually encouraged the gossip, because it always made for a conversationwhen he texted Robert. Which he did a lot.

It was almost as if they had started a relationship up, andit was real.

This time they met up, it was completely different. Theywouldn’t be around hundreds of business associates, it would be just the two ofthem, on a date, with Mark and his wife. It was Mark who suggested it, over thephone to Aaron at the beginning of the week. Of course, Aaron agreed. Whowouldn’t? It was a chance to see Robert dressed up in a nice suit again, and tospend more time with him.

That was why he sent Robert off to Aarons favourite tailor.He wanted Robert to have the nicest suit possible. Entirely for Aarons ownbenefit.

The restaurant was posh enough. Robert could see that as Aarondrove them in front of the grand building, handing the keys to his ’64 Bentleyover to the valet.

“Marks texted me and he’s already in there with Kath.” Aarontold Robert as he intertwined their fingers together. They’d never done thatbefore, but it felt natural in that moment.

“So tell me.” Kath started, putting her fork to her plate,looking up at Robert and Aaron, who were sat opposite her and her husband.“When did the two of you meet, exactly?”

Robert decided to take the lead, gently brushing his fingerover Aaron’s knuckle, who pulled back in shock slightly before realising thatRobert was only doing his job. “Aaron’s best friend managed to drag him on anight out, which isn’t something he would usually go along with, but I’m gladhe did. We bumped into each other, I bought him a pint and he was shamelesslyflirting with me so we just exchanged numbers and met up for a meal afterthat.”

Aaron just nodded along, smiling at Robert.

“That’s adorable,” Kath commented. “Isn’t it, darling?”

“It is.” Mark smiled earnestly. “I hope you two are as happyas me and Kath are.”

Aaron smiled, taking the lead and kissing Robert’s handgently, something else that they had never done. “We are.”

By the time it was time to go home, it was getting onto halfeleven at night, the sky a pitch black colour and only the street lights and afew cars illuminated the roads. Aaron drove straight back to his own house,knowing that in reality, he was too tired to drive any further. “You can stayhere tonight.” He told Robert. “Unless you have somewhere to be?”

Robert shook his head, getting out of Aaron’s car. “Nope,I’m free now until you need to use me again.”

Neither of them knew exactly how it happened, but it wasalways inevitable. Aaron had Robert up against the wall, his hands shovedbetween their two bodies, rubbing against Robert’s crotch as they kissed.

Robert somehow managed to find the strength to push Aaron upthe stairs, silently begging Aaron to take him to his bedroom. Which he did,thankfully.

The roles were reversed as Aaron led on his bed, the quiltinstantly being messed up as he shrugged his trousers off, Robert stood at thefoot of the bed doing the exact same. “You okay with this?” Aaron askedbreathily as Robert climbed over him, making quick work of unbuttoning hisshirt.

“Yeah.” Robert responded, his voice deep with lust. “You?”

Aaron didn’t vocally respond, he pressed his lips to Robertand helped Robert into a state of undress, so both of them were equally asnaked as the other.

The next morning, Aaron woke up with Robert wrapped aroundhis body, legs intertwined under the covers. He looked at his bedroom floor,eyes squinting ever so slightly because of how bright it was in his room. Allhe could see was his and Robert’s clothes scattered over the floor, boxershanging halfway off the bedpost.

He got up slowly, in an attempt to not wake Robert up, wholooked like he was sleeping soundly, a relaxed look on his face, making himlook younger. Aaron wished he could stay in bed with him all day, but there wasa nagging part of him that knew it would never work. He couldn’t have arelationship with an escort. It would ruin his reputation if it got out. Soinstead, he quietly picked up his clothes, grabbed something new to wear towork, and left £150 on the bedside table for Robert when he eventuallysurfaced.

 ur a prick

i honestly thought imeant something to u

obviously not

Just a few of the many messages that Robert had left forAaron over the course of the day.

Aaron inwardly groaned, dropping his head onto his desk.

“What’s up smiler?” Josh asked, popping his head around thecorner at the sound.

Aaron looked up, tears welling in his eyes as he realisedhe’d fucked up.

“Oh that’s a bad look.” Josh so fantastically pointed out.“Break up?”

Aaron didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded. It was almost a break up, right? Itcertainly felt like one.

“Mate, just go home, or go and see him if it can be solved.”Josh advised. “You were great together, and we can run this place whilst you’regone.”

So Aaron did just that. He rang Robert up, left a missedcall asking him to meet Aaron at the coffee place around the corner fromAaron’s, and all he could do was hope and pray that it wasn’t too late.

Fourty-five minutes. A whole three quarters of an hour Aaronwas sat there, staring into space as he drank the last of his outrageouslypriced coffee. It was another five minutes before he decided that Robert wasn’tcoming, and so he handed his mug over to a waiter and walked out onto the coldstreet, wind blowing in his face.

“Not nice is it?” A voice shouted from over the road. “Beingleft?”

“Rob.” Aaron breathed out, the nickname something he hadn’tcalled Robert before, but in that moment, it just worked.

Aaron stepped closer, walking across the road so they couldactually speak rather than shout. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry foreverything.”

Robert’s eyes didn’t leave the floor, his hands balled upinto fists in his jacket pockets. “You shouldn’t have left me like that. Youwanted to have sex just as much as I did.”

“I know I did. And I’m sorry for leaving you, I didn’t wantto hurt you. I guess I didn’t want to hurt myself either.” He said honestly.“Remember that time we spoke about me not having a boyfriend?”

Aaron waited for Robert to nod before carrying on.

“I told you how I’d have feelings for people, but then pushthem away because I got scared. Well that’s what happened with us.” Aaron said.“I fell hard for you, but pushed you away bec-“

“Because of my job yeah, I get it.” Robert practically spat,getting ready to walk away, only to be dragged back by Aaron.

“Yes okay, because of your job.” Aaron said. “But also thefact that I’ve never had a boyfriend, never been in love and that thoughtterrifies me.”

Robert licked his dry lips before he spoke. “I would’ve stoppedfor you. Gone into a proper job, if me and you actually settled down.”

“And we still can.” Aaron responded seriously. “I want you.I reckon I have done since that first day.”

Robert’s arms wrapped around Aaron’s waist, both of them holdingon to each other now. “If you promise to not leave me like that again, I’ll leavethe firm today, come home with you.”

Aaron leaned forward, catching Roberts lips in a kiss, bothof them smirking into it, neither of them wanting to break apart, but they did.

“I promise.”

[billy-batson]

an anon asked a while back if i could write an essay explaining why i hate karen and kastle and me, being me, saved it in my asks until i could further explain to full capacity. my response?

absolutely. i’ve had this ask in my inbox for quite a few weeks, since before the release of the punisher. in order for people to understand my view points and beliefs, we must take off any shipping goggles we might have and view it from a fairly objective view point. (i’ve also added my own gifs to this because eh, why not?) also, this got quite long so under a cut it goes. also, it sort of gets messy but bear with me. (word count: 2.5k)

we’ll first begin with miss karen page. first introduced as a girl being framed for a murder she did not commit; a fresh breath of air, of sorts, in a show focusing mainly on foggy and matt, two men. as the first season moves on, we see that she’s interested in discovering more about union allied, who attempted to frame her, and that eventually leads her to ben urich, a reporter who, in his heyday, followed thrilling and intense cases and wrote groundbreaking articles. now, though, since he’s aged and has more concern for his life and job--which he needs to support his dying wife while she’s in the hospital--he writes whatever his editor wants him to. he’s fine with this. in fact, he’s comfortable with this.

the issue, though? karen essentially pushes him back into this type of work, bringing him into her hunt on union allied which he explicitly stated, multiple times, that he did not wish to do. he knows how this will likely end--he even tells her as much, reminding her that he’s old now, and he’s “a lot less stupid”. while we can’t entirely fault her for coercing him into working with her, since he is a grown man and he can make his own decisions, she was the cause of the events that led up to, and caused, his death. yes, a white woman caused a black man’s death. unsurprising news when you’re black.

after his death, though? karen--who holds absolutely no relation to him--gets the ownership of his car, which could have gone towards paying his wife’s hospital bills, and his job, despite having absolutely no credentials or prior experience. that is a fine example of white privilege. never worked or trained a day in that work, ever, and yet she gets his job. i know this isn’t real life, but it’s a piece of realistic fiction. it should be realistic---which, i guess, it is, since the only way someone with no credentials or experience in journalism is going to get a job is if they’re white. also, this is marvel netflix’s first example of violently murdering a black person in their series (which they do in every one of their series), so that leaves a foul taste in my mouth, as a black person.

and next came the, what i like to call “weirdly random ooc #female badassness! wannabe episode”, aka the episode where she kills wesley, stating that she’s fired a gun before and insinuated that she’s killed before. not only does she get off scot free for this (which, by the way, never would have happened unless she was white), but it’s also never mentioned ever again. it was a needless act that was ludicrous in execution and inserting into the narrative. it was just a way to say “look! our blonde haired beauty is a badass haha :)”

season two comes along, and it’s shown that she’s digging up information about the punisher while also going on dates with matt. eventually, though, she meets frank for who he is and this is what i call the sort of beginning of manipulation, at least for her, but i’ll be getting more into depth about this later. in the last few episodes, she gives frank an ultimatum -- stop being the punisher, or she’ll walk away. you’ll recall that in the defenders, she also gave matt the same ultimatum, which is a form of manipulation and underlying abuse. karen can not accept that these mens’ alter egos is who they are inside, and that causes for her to make them choose between her and doing what they want to do. having experienced such abuse from the hands of ex friends in the past, it sealed the deal for my disdain for her.

the main thing i dislike about karen is how she’s written in a way where it’s as if she can do no wrong. and fandom’s behavior definitely perpetuates that. she’s seen as a “#perfect cinnamon roll” or a “#goddess” or a saint or whatever fandom is referring to her as. she truly is not all that, yet the writers tend to portray her as such. (needless to say that in the comics, she sold matt’s identity as daredevil for drugs, but that’s beside the point.) she does not deserve to be held to such a high pedestal, and fandom, specifically certain individuals in the fandom, should not hate people who point out valid criticism of her because they can’t see it from any perspective that isn’t their own.

on that note, fandom is a large part of my hatred for characters or ships. fandom never knows how to be normal and they either detest you for not liking their favorite character / ship, or don’t listen to you at all.

when it comes to kastle, though, things are more simple to explain. (as of writing, i am currently on the third episode of the punisher and going slowly through it for obvious reasons.) the entire reason frank does what he does, is because of the death of his family. of his children, of his wife. he relives that all throughout season two of daredevil despite claiming to not have ptsd, and we see it even more intensely in the punisher. he thinks of his wife and children every day, without fail--often times its the first thing he thinks of, and the last thing he thinks of. even a year to two years after their death, the wound is still raw and he is very much not over it.

so why, pray tell, is the ship kastle a thing? he is not, in anyway capable of having or maintaining a healthy relationship as of right now--nor might he ever. the fact that people could excuse this obviously damaged man’s feelings just to ship him with fandom’s white fave, thinly veiled self insert character is saddening and bordering on disgusting. he hasnt even had the chance to heal or breathe and everyone’s already shipping him with her?

matt said that karen deserves better than him. “better than [matt]” does not equal “you should date frank”. frank, himself, says that karen is in love with matt. he compares that love to him and his wife, who he’s not over. karen understands this and accepts this -- she is in love with matt, just as frank is in love with maria, still.

his love for maria is further solidified in the first episode of the punisher, when he repeatedly relives good moments that he had with maria and reminisces on the things that he loved about her through his memories. he, in every way, needs healing. what he does not need is a relationship. that would be one of the last things that he needs, especially after going through all that he has. the death and loss of his family was one of the most traumatic things he’s experienced, to the point that he takes it upon himself to track every single person connected to their murder and kill them, even going so far as juarez, mexico, to do so. six months after that is not enough time for the emotional stability that frank needs before a relationship with anyone could even be considered.

after frank kills schoonover, karen is visibly upset.

she didn’t want him to kill someone, and she even goes so far as to tell him that he can’t keep doing what he’s doing, otherwise, they’re through, and she’s walking. (to which he obviously keeps doing what he’s doing and doesn’t look back as he leaves her in the woods.)

going back a bit, in episode ten, after his escape, she’s afraid of him to the point that she draws a gun on him.

(needless to say the scene right after this is everyone’s beloved #zomg kastle!! scene. everyone seems to ignore what happened right before that scene though. hm. wonder why.)

does that even seem like a good relationship build up? he makes her cry out of a fear for him, she gives him an ultimatum, manipulating him, she pulls a gun on him and absolutely can kill him, as seen since she’s murdered wesley and has apparently done so before in the past. he has no reason to believe that she won’t pull that trigger, and the audience, aside from knowing that the punisher is too iconic of a character to kill off, has no reason to believe that she won’t pull that trigger. why not? she’s done it before on screen, and she showed us what she’s capable of doing.

she doesn’t get the chance to because her apartment is shot up and frank, the good person that he is, ducks down and protects her. because he’s a good person, and she’s someone he can consider, at this point, to be a sort of “friend”. (i’m like, 90% sure none of you guys have ever had any good things happen to you from good people or that yall have friends and cant tell the difference between friendship love and romantic love, since yall ship this, but i rest my case.)

a fun scene i saw pop up in the anti kastle tag -- a post written by a shipper -- was the scene in the punisher where someone refers to karen as “his girlfriend, and takes that as a sign. please, i know we all know better than this. people tease people all the time when it comes to friends, especially attractive ones, typically those of the opposite gender. i can’t list the number of times that one of my childhood friends was called “my boyfriend” by my family or i was called “his girlfriend” by his. it would be completely ludicrous to presume that that sort of comment meant anything other than a jest or a poke at frank’s expense. that’s what friends are like, that’s a universal experience for most people who have friends. it does not hint towards that ship or somehow verify it. thats not what the comment was. by thinking it verifies the ship in some way, you’re all effectively making a mountain out of...dust.

finally, let’s talk about fandom’s need to show their ass when it comes to their ableism. frank castle has ptsd, albeit he is in denial of such a fact. fandom often writes fics and headcanons that if kastle was canon, karen could “fix” frank of his ptsd and “make the pain go away”. for one thing, ptsd does not go away. it doesn’t. being with someone does not make it go away. i know fandom likes to see karen as a saint or an angel or a goddess, but she’s human. even if kastle were to happen, the ptsd would still be there. frank isnt going to magically be “cured” because he’s dating karen page. the fact that this is such a common fandom headcanon is ableist in and of itself. as an abuse survivor still living in an abusive situation, fandom needs to understand that ptsd does not go away. it can be lessened, yes, but it does not go away. an event such as watching your entire family get slaughtered before your very eyes does not go away, especially when said person repeatedly has flash backs of said event. you cannot expect it to. this is part of the reason why the fandom, itself, sickens me.

also, there are volatile tendencies on both sides. as karen isn’t the sole person to blame for why this ship borders on toxicity (almost as bad as the fandom); frank is, as well. due to his volatile nature, and her stubborn and subtle manipulations, as well as the fact that neither of them, specifically frank, are in a position to be in a relationship with anyone (karen as well, considering matt, who she canonically loves, has just appeared to die), makes this ship unable to work. it cannot work and it does not work despite fandom’s perpetual pleas to make it work, likely due to the fact that karen is the self insert character for women all across the fandom, typically and most often, from what i’ve seen, the white women. (needless to say that comics canon karen is so vastly different from show karen that she might as well be a self insert oc at this point.) these are the same white women who will likely regard this as “misogyny” and label it as just “another hater hating”. that is not what i am, but if thats your prerogative, to demonize a black woman for pointing out valid criticisms and flaws found in the beloved ship and the white woman, thats not my problem.

so, in conclusion, why do i hate karen? mainly due to the fact that her white privilege gets her a job, a car of a dead man with a dying wife, who’s dead as a result of her actions, and, of course, fandom and their constant push to make her a savior of some kind, here to “fix” frank. why do i hate kastle? because of fandom’s desire to show their ableism in wanting karen to “fix” frank of his ptsd and thinking that a relationship with the woman who gave him an ultimatum and manipulated him in order to act the way that she wanted him to is anywhere near “romantic”. volatile relationships built on past fear of the other and aiming a gun at the other is not a good foundation for any ship. since their meeting, they were known as being in love with other people, and they are currently in a space where they believe their loves are dead. why would someone’s first reaction be to ship them with each other? why would someone’s first reaction be to ship the man who regularly has nightmares and panic attacks about the death of his family and his wife with someone else when he is obviously still in mourning? why would someone’s first reaction be to ship the woman who was crying, sobbing as she attempted to keep him from doing what he wanted to, who was so afraid of him to the point that she held him at gunpoint? where does any of this set the foundations of a good ship?

and why would one ship it?

[batfam-imagines]

Some Girl, Special Girl - Part 3

Some Girl Special Girl - Part 2

Some Girl Special Girl - Part 4

Prompt:  Can u do some angst dick x reader where they r dating but the batboys for some reason dislike the reader n therefore is kinda mean to her in an attempt to broke them up? Dick stay true with the reader until he cant n they broke up. Years later they met again n she still hurt by his decision so refused to deal with him but dick want her forgiveness n pursue her relentlessly.

The second half of this request will probably happen in the next part of this series.

There isn’t a lot of Dick x Reader in this one, but I hope you like it anyway!

———————————————————————————–

It's been five years since that night. Roy had found you, half over the roofs edge, unconscious from the combination of alcohol and antidepressants. He had stayed with you at the hospital where they pumped your stomach and gave you fluids. Once you were discharged from the hospital, you and Roy had packed your stuff and left Gotham.

Now, after five long years, you’re back. You take a deep breath, taking in the thick city smog, and slowly step out of the plane.

--

Roy is the one who meets you at the airport. He has made sure that everything was ready for you, that all your belongings were at your apartment, and that no one knew you were coming.

“Hey, Y/N!!”

“Roytoy!!” He rushes toward you, swinging you into a tight hug. While the two of you had kept in contact you hadn’t seen him in the five years you were gone except over Skype. “God, I missed you”

“I missed you too, sugar” Roy puts you down, and scrates the back of his head, giving you a sheepish smile, “I actually have something to tell you ... I – I have a daughter now, and I’m on a new team called the Outlaws, and …”

You hold your hands up, eyes wide, “You have a daughter?!?”

“Yeah, her names Lian. I’d like you to meet her, she already knows all about her Auntie Y/N”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me about her?!?”

“I, um, I only found out about her a little while ago. I didn’t even know I had a kid for the first six months she was alive, and then it took another four years for Cheshire to let her stay with me permanently”

“So, how old is she?”

Roy gets this dopey smile on his face, before he pulls out his phone and starts showing you pictures of the cutest little girl you’ve ever seen, “She’s six now. She’s my whole world, Y/N”

“Well, where is she?”

“She’s with Kori … and Jason”

You stiffen, “You mean …”

“They don’t know where I went! I promise! They’re – they’re my new team, they’re the Outlaws. Y/N, Jason’s changed, I promise. Yeah, he’s still an asshole, but he regrets what he did to you. He’s been trying to make me tell where you were so he can apologize. Y/N …”

“Maybe … maybe someday, but not right now, Roy. I’d still like to meet your little ball of sunshine, but I’m not ready to see any of them right now. I’ve grown up a lot in five years, hon, but I need to prepare myself”

“I understand, sugar” He starts to lead you out of the airport, “I already got your place set up, everything unpacked and ready for you”

“Please tell me you didn’t do my grocery shopping, it might have been five years since I last saw you, but I know how you eat”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t, saved that chore for you. I don’t even do the shopping in my own apartment, Jason …” Roy stops, as if he said something he hadn’t mean to.

“Roy, honey, I’m gonna ask you a question, I want you to answer me truthfully … Are you and Jason seeing each other?”

Out of the corner of your eye Roy goes red, “ … Yeah, have been for a year … we’re also dating an alien princess named Koriand’r”

“Cool”

“You – you aren’t mad?”

“Roytoy, I love you, you know that. You’re my brother in every way but blood. All I care about is you being happy. Now, are you happy?”

“Happiest I think I’ve ever been, Y/N”

“Good, that’s all I need to know”

Roy chuckles, placing your luggage in the back of his car, “You always find new ways to surprise me, kiddo”

“Someone around here’s gotta keep you on your toes!”

--

Another two months had passed, you’ve finally started your job at Wayne Enterprises, working down in the R & D department. The only reason you agreed to work there at all was because you were assured that you would never have to see any of the Wayne’s.

“So where are you working again?”

“I already told you Roy, I’m working at WE. They sought me out because of my PhD’s in engineering and architecture. I’m only here until we can create a compound that will withstand the constant alien attacks, and crazy villains that seem to flock to Gotham. There are almost a hundred of the best scientist’s money can buy working on this project, so I’m hoping to be out of Gotham in a year.”

Roy sighs, leaning back further in the couch. Lian’s playing quietly on your floor, toys spread everywhere, “So you’re just gonna leave after that?”

“I won’t be gone forever, I’ll be over in Metropolis. It isn’t too far away. I could never leave my favorite niece. Isn’t that right Lian!” The six year old grins, running over and jumping on the couch next to you.

“You gotta come visit all the time! And call me every night, and …”

“Well, I’m not leaving yet, baby cakes, so we have time to plan”

Lian nods before yawning, it’s almost 9:30, time for bed, “It’s getting late, hon”

Roy huffs, “I know, Lian we need to head back to the apartment.”

Lian hugs you tightly before she takes her father’s hand, “You promise we can get ice cream tomorrow?”

Squatting down you hold out your pinky finger, which the six-year-old readily takes, “I pinky promise that when your daddy drops you off we’ll go get ice cream and go to the park.“

“You can’t break a pinky promise, auntie“

Giving a solemn nod you lock pinkys, “I know“

“Good!“ Lian looks content with your promise, and readily follows Roy out of you apartment. You smile and wave, actually looking forward to going out with Lian tomorrow, maybe you’ll make some good memories in this damned city.

--

You and Lian slowly make your way from the ice cream parlor to the park. Roy was off doing a job with Jason and Kori, leaving you and Lian to spend the weekend together. You two end up feeding the ducks, and playing on the playground that’s in the middle of the park.

“Auntie?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Daddy said that Uncle Dick, and Jay-Jay were really mean to you a long time ago”

You crouch down, furrowing your brow at the little girl, “Yes, they were. They made me very sad for a long time, but I’m not sad anymore. You’re uncles said some really mean things to me, and so I left”

“So, does that mean you and Uncle Dick aren’t friends?”

“That’s right, he’s not my friend anymore”

“Oh. ‘Cause Uncle Dick’s standing over there staring at you, auntie”

Turning, eyes following Lian’s raised finger, your gaze locks with the one person you had been hoping to avoid … Dick Grayson.

———————————————————————————–

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