#so anyway I go in today had to wait like an hour for them to end their phonecall to show them the paper
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immeasurablesaladagere · 14 hours ago
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A Wildcard is Active - Team Self-Sufficient
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Words: 4973
Series Summery: Set in a hypothetical fourth session of Wild Life in which each player has a 50/50 chance of being turned into a kid (ages 4-8) or remaining an adult for the week. How will the adults manage their tiny teammates? How will they keep them out of trouble? And how dangerous could a red or yellow toddler really be? Told from a variety of group POV’s, all with their own challenges over the course of a hypothetical session 4. 
⭐️ Fun fact! Every character's child/adult role was actually determined by coin toss (head=adult, tails=child)! All of these dynamics were chosen at random and some were pretty perfect. I just had to do it when I saw this pair.
Fic Summery: By a stroke of bad luck, both Gem and Joel end up as children and are determined not to let anyone know. There are reds about, it’s not safe for them to be alone without an adult to protect them. When they run into trouble in a cave, they're forced to ask the Bamboozlers for help.
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On the first morning of the fourth session, Joel allowed himself to stay in bed just a bit longer and take in the snail-less peace and quiet. No more running about, constantly looking over his shoulder for deadly flying mollusks, just a nice easy doze in the Charger, living the life.
Gem was already up and about, cooking breakfast by the smell of it. Somehow session three had been a breeze for her and now she was going around being all productive. Showoff. 
“Joel! Breakfast is ready!”
As much as he wanted to roll over and doze for another thirty minutes, the start of the session would wait for no man. They only had a short time before the next wildcard activated for the week and they needed to pound back as many calories as possible if they wanted to keep up with whatever craziness Grian had in store this time.
So out of bed and into their makeshift kitchen he went, rubbing the sleep crusties out of his eyes. “Quit your yelling, what if I’d been sleepin’ still?”
“Then you needed to get up anyway. Wildcard rolls in an hour, up and ‘attem!” Gem said with the chipperness of someone who hadn’t spent the last week fearing for her life, and slid two plates of eggs, toast, and bacon onto the table.
“Yeah, yeah. Easy for you to say, you dirty snail-lover.”
“Hey! Who made you breakfast?”
“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry.” Joel shovelled a forkful of bacon into his mouth and groaned. “S’really good.”
Gem chuckled. “Well don’t make it weird! Maybe I shouldn’t be cooking for you.”
“No, please, I’ll be eating nothing but bread all season.” He whined. “Seriously, this is great, thanks Gem.”
“Well of course! We’re going to need the energy!” She finished her glass of milk in one go and got up to start putting her dishes away because holy moly, she ate fast. “What’s on the to-do list for today?”
There were about a million answers to that question, seeing as no one got anything done last week. Diamonds, finish the base, make traps, go to the nether; but of course what they’d like to do didn’t matter so much as what they could do once the wildcard hit. “Dunno. Some mining, maybe hit the nether if Grian hasn’t rigged it to explode or sumfing. I need redstone and gunpowder.”
“Ooo, yeah, the nether sounds good. I don’t know if they’ve found the fortress yet, so maybe there’s still some potion stuff left.” 
The moment the last piece of toast was in his mouth Gem was snatching his plate out from under him and dumping it in the sink.
“Oi!”
She stuck her tongue out at him. 
Well, might as well get started on the list. “If gonna try to finish the base while nofing’s going on, head’s up for falling deepslate in here!”
“If you get rock dust in my kitchen I’ll put you on yellow!” She called after him.
The base was coming along nicely, it just needed a few finishing touches. Trim here and there, polish the windows, sand off a few edges. He grabbed his tools from the starter base and climbed up onto the hood of the car. Maybe he could even finish before the session started.
-
“Joel! Wildcard!”
He could not. Joel sighed and set down his tools as the colourful ellipses appeared in his vision and Gem came outside. They had to be prepared for anything, and it was much safer to find out the gimmick together. They both braced for the worst. Floor is lava? Levitation? Permanent nighttime? More snails?
A Wildcard is Active.
The two of them did a hasty once-over of themselves. 
“Hearts and hunger are the same,” Gem reported.
“No effects, and you’re not dying right now so no floor-is-lava. Darn, I was hoping for that one.” He didn’t feel any different, and nothing around them seemed immediately strange. It was almost more unsetting that he couldn’t pinpoint the twist right away. 
“You were hoping I would die?” Gem asked incredulously.
“No, no, but you know what I mean. I was so sure that’d be one of them!” He patted himself down. “I don’t feel weird. Do I look weird?”
“More than normal? No.” She smirked.
“Wow, rude!”
He was about to accept that maybe Grian had miraculously decided to do something low-key this session. Maybe it was nether-based or mob-based and wouldn’t be nearly as big a deal as the murder snails and the hunger. Sure, it would put a mild spanner in the works but they would live. But then he felt it. His entire body suddenly felt… buzzy. Like pins and needles all over.
“Um, actually… Maybe I do feel a bit weird…” 
Gem shifted from foot to foot, rubbing a hand up and down her arms. “You feel it too? What is that?” Her eyes widened. Uh oh. “Oh my— Joel, you’re smoking!”
“I know that Gem, but I’m married so—“ Oh. Sure enough, his arms were giving off a faint purple mist, and now that he noticed it, so was Gem. “Woah, you’re smoking too! What on earth is this? Gah, I hate this feeling!”
In seconds the smoke went from tiny wisps to thick fog that surrounded him completely, and he could just barely make out Gem disappearing behind her own cloud as the smoke consumed him and everything went dark.
Then a moment later he was back again, lying face down on the car and tingly all over. He groaned. Was it weakness? Why did he feel like he was just tossed around by a ravager? He went to sit up and was rocked by a wave of dizziness. “Ugh, oh dear…” He mumbled, and then slowly his words caught up to his spinny brain. 
Something was wrong with his voice. It was higher, and weirder. 
“Joel!?” Came a squeaky cry from the ground, one that sounded eerily familiar. 
He shuffled forward to the edge of the base and oh, that was a long way down. Standing in a fun-size suit of armour and using a sword much too big for her to prop herself up was Gem. Tiny Gem. She looked no older than seven, maybe eight at the absolute most.
“Gem! What’s happened to you?” He called down, and yeah, his voice was definitely wrong. 
“Me? What about you? You’re teeny!”
He took a proper look at himself and his new tiny body, squishy arms, and stubby hands. Oh, this was terrible. 
“Are we all kids? Is that the twist!? That’s horrible!” How were they supposed to survive like this!?
Gem fumbled to pull out her spyglass and looked across the field to their neighbours. “No, not everyone! Tango’s still big over there, but Etho and Bdubs are little!”
“So only some of us? And we both get made into stupid toddlers? That’s not fair!” He pouted.
Their communicators were suddenly flooded with messages, mostly panicked gibberish from everyone who had been baby-fied and gushing from everyone who hadn’t. From the looks of it every group had at least one normal adult; between Scott, Cleo, Pearl, and Impulse there were three, except for them.
“This is bad, right?” Gem asked nervously, “There’s yellows and reds and if they know we don’t have someone protecting us… what if they kill us?” Joel hadn’t even thought of that. “Come  down from there, we should find a place to hide!”
He went to climb down, but stopped when he saw the steep drop down the windshield to the ground. Suddenly his stomach was twisting into knots and he couldn’t bring himself to slide down. “Uh…”
“What’s wrong?” Gem asked with a look of growing worry, “Are you… scared?”
Joel’s ears burned. “N-no! Just, um…” So it was messing with their heads as well.
Gem seemed to understand, and careful to stay out of sight from their nosy neighbours, she crept around to the front of the car and built up a few blocks. When she got close enough, she held out her arms for him to slide into. “I’ll catch you.”
Absolutely not. He would rather die right then and there. “I don’t need your help!” 
Gem rolled her eyes. “Sure you don’t, now come on, before someone sees us!” She hissed.
Without much of a choice, Joel took a deep breath and pushed himself down the hood of the car with a squeak and landed safely in Gem’s arms. Once he was safely back on solid ground, she immediately began to manhandle him.
“C’mon, c’mon!” She dragged him by the hand to their starter base and to his dismay, she was indeed much taller than he was, and she was able to pull him like he was a bundle of feathers. “Grab as much food and stuff as you can.” She said, and began rifling through their chests.
“Wha— okay, where’re we going?” The chests were so hugehe almost couldn’t reach into the bottom and he had to stand on his tip-toes to reach a pile of bread.
“We’re gonna hide underground. No one’s gonna wanna come look for us down there.” Gem said, like she’d thought the whole thing through already. She dropped a stack of torches and loose coal into her inventory.
“For all week? That’s a long time.” He pointed out.
“Yeah, I know, that’s why we’re getting all this stuff. We can come back up for food if we really gotta, but we can’t let anyone know that we’re both kids. That’d be super bad.”
Joel snickered. “You’re talkin’ funny.”
She scoffed, offended. “Am not! And don’t be mean to your elders!”
“You are not my elder! Look at you!”
“Uh-huh, and what does that make you? Look how small you are compared to me! You’re just a baby!” She teased, ruffling his hair.
“Oi, you—“
“—Gem? Joel? Are you here?”
They froze. Bdubs. And where there was Bdubs, there was Tango, and Tango was red. Gem hurried them to the wall and dug into it, boxing them in. They both held their breaths as multiple sets of feet walked around their base, and for some reason the whole thing felt a lot scarier than it should’ve been.
“Awe, they’re not here.” Bdubs.
“Do you think they’re kids, too?” Etho.
“Oh, I wanna see kid-Joel so bad! I bet he’d be real tiny.”
“C’mon Dubs, let’s go find the others.”
The footsteps walked away, and they both let out a sigh of relief.
“Let’s dig down.” Gem whispered. She lit a torch and the little box they were crammed in filled with light, which he liked a lot more than the dark. Joel tried his best to stay out of her way as she began to dig a tunnel down, and he was put on torch-duty, keeping it lit all the way down.
After what felt like forever, they finally hit a cave. It was really dark, which was both good and bad. Good because it meant no one had been there yet, and bad because Joel was very quickly learning his little kid brain didn’t like the dark very much.
“I don’t hear any monsters.” Gem said, peering into the hole, “Gimme the torches.” She took one more look around, then scooted down from their safe ledge into the cave. The torch in her hand lit up the walls around them just enough for him to see just how much further the cave went. It was already huge, but it seemed even huger because they were so small. The empty void made his stomach feel fluttery. He took out his sword and gripped it tight.
“Put the torches down, Gem! So the mobs don’t spawn!” He said urgently. Gem turned around and raised an eyebrow at him.
“You’re really jumpy, huh?” She smiled.
“I-I’m not! We just have to be careful. What— w-what if mobs do more damage ‘cause we’re tiny? Didjya ever think of that, Ms. Not— uh, Afraid?”
It was meant to be a jab but she just started giggling. “This is adorable. You look so pouty!” 
She was so busy laughing at his expense she didn’t notice the creeper emerging from the darkness and scuttling towards her.
“Gem, watch out!” 
She whirled around just in time to pull up her shield before the creeper blew up in her face and sent her staggering back into the wall. 
“Are you okay!?” He called, timidly crouching over the ledge. 
Gem chuckled nervously, brushing off some of the stone bits that got on her clothes and hair. “Yep, all good! Maybe the torches are a good idea…”
As Gem placed down torches he cautiously climbed down into the cave, keeping a sweaty hold on the handle of his shield. He hated just how blummin’ nervous he felt. He shouldn’t have cared if it was dark or if there might be monsters lurking around the corner, but suddenly the thought of leaving the light and Gem’s side was the worst thing ever. Stupid kid brain, stupid kid body. 
“Okay! We’re okay, we’re fine.” She chirped, “We’ve got torches, an’ our swords and shields, we’ll be fine.” It sounded like she was telling herself that just as much as she was telling him, which strangely did make him feel better. At least we wasn’t the only scaredy-cat, even if Gem was better at hiding it than him. “Let’s go find some iron. We might even be deep enough to find diamonds!”
Right. Diamonds, iron, focus on that. “We’re gonna be so rich, Gem. All those silly fools up there are gonna be freakin’ out about being stupid babies and we’re gonna have full diamond!”
“There, that’s the spirit. Do you— um...” She offered her hand to him with a small smile. “You can be our shield, and I’ll protect us with the sword. How’s that sound?”
Joel scowled at her hand and reluctantly, to the death of his pride, took it. This was the worst day. He was going to have a talk with Grian when this was all over. The jerk was probably an adult as well, knowing him and the stupid universe. “Fine. But only for teamwork.”
“Teamwork.” Gem agreed, and they descended into the darkness.
-
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Gem asked, throwing a few more loose pieces of wood into their little campfire.
It wasn’t. Sure, the dark still wasn’t very nice and they hadn’t had much luck with diamonds, but their trek through the cave got them a lot of iron, nearly a stack between them. “I wasn’t worried. I knew we were gonna be fine the whole time.” 
“Uh-huh. And when you screamed like a girl ‘cause you saw a spider you were totally gonna take it down, right?”
He nodded, dumping as much raw iron as he could fit into the furnace. “Yep, you just got their first. Silly Gem, stealin’ my kills.”
Even though he’d been trying not to think about it, he appreciated what Gem was doing. Both of their minds were being affected by the wildcard, but it was embarrassingly obvious that he had it worse, probably because he seemed to be the ‘younger’ of the two of them. And all the while dealing with her own nervousness and keeping them safe, she was talking to him like a normal person and keeping him steady. The good-natured ribbing they exchanged kept everything feeling light when the scary cave sounds started to get to him, and she wasn’t being overbearing or babying him. It was almost like session one again; a normal day, just ever so slightly shorter than two blocks tall.
“Here, pork chop’s ready.” Gem passed him a stick with a cut of cooked pork chop skewered on it. Even without any seasonings, it smelled delicious.
“Fanks, Gem.” He devoured the whole thing in a few large bites, much to Gem’s disgust. One of the few upsides to being so small was that they were going through much less food than usual, and one pork chop was all he needed to feel properly full again. 
“So,” He burped, “We’re really gonna stay down here all week?”
Gem nodded and started making something on the crafting table. “Thas’ the plan.”
“Aw, but that’s a bit boring, isn’t it? I wanna have some fun too…” He kicked a little stone away and the clacking echoed off the walls.
“Do you wanna have fun, or do you wanna stay alive?”
How could she be so tiny and still act like such a mum? “Stay alive, I guess.” He pouted.
She turned around and laid a thin wool sleeping bag on the floor with the tiniest pillow Joel had ever seen. “That’s what I thought. I’ll take first watch. I didn’t bring enough wool, so sorry it’s not very good...” 
There was no way he could be upset about the sleeping bag, not when she was making that face. If they were on the surface, Joel was sure Gem could get them whatever they wanted just by giving someone puppy eyes. “No, no, it’s fine! It looks super comfy, in fact.” He crawled over to it and nestled inside to show her. Stones dug into his back. “See? I could fall asleep right now.” He made an exaggerated yawn.
Gem chuckled. “I ‘precicate it, but you don’t hav’ta lie. Your pudgy little face doesn’t hide anything.”
“Going to sleep now!” He yelled, turning over and pressing his face into the pillow. “Honk-shoo, honk-shoo, see? Sleeping.”
“Have a good sleep, Joel.”
-
“Joel, get up, get up, come on!”
Joel barely had time to remember where he was before a hand grabbed him roughly by the wrist and then they were running. His half-asleep legs stumbled to catch up and Gem was half-dragging him, and between his bleary eyes and the unlit cave he could barely see where they were going.
“Gem, what on earth— what’s going on!? What are we runni—“ Two arrows whizzed past his head much too close for comfort, and that woke him up.
“There were so many, I—I couldn’t kill them all!” Gem exclaimed. They took a hard left at a fork and two more zombies joined the chase from the right. There were at least six mobs behind them, probably more. There was no time to pull out their shields, they’d surely be overwhelmed instantly, which meant they’d just have to find a place to hide.
“Gem this is bad, this is so bad!”
Gem cried out as an arrow lodged itself in her shoulder, and then another. “I-I know, I know, keep running!”
They rounded another corner and skidded to a halt. Dead end. Joel raised his shield to catch another arrow but the mobs were getting close fast. They were dead. 
He yelped as Gem grabbed him by the scruff and pushed him into a corner. “Ow! Gem, what—?” She began haphazardly surrounding him in cobblestone, and Joel’s stomach dropped. “Wait, G-Gem, what are you— what are you doing?”
“I’m low, my shield’s almost gone,” She panted, and her splitting shield took another hit, this time from the zombie at the head of the pack gnawing viciously at the wood. “Stay in here, I’ll come back for you, okay?”
“Gem, no!” His heart was pounding. He could only see a sliver of Gem’s scared but resigned expression through the gap now. More zombies caught up, groaning and forcing her back. “Gem—!”
The last block slid into place and he was plunged into darkness just as the message rang out.
Geminitay was slain by a zombie
-
This wildcard is a nightmare.
Jimmy watched, exhausted, as Lizzie tried to coach Scar up a tree for the third time. While a good “parent” might have stopped it by now, falling out of a tree was about the safest thing they had been up to over the last twenty-four hours. If all he had to do was pass out snacks for regen every time Scar fell, that was fine by him.
He truly believed Grian’s games simply hated him personally. Why else would he be the only adult in his team? Theyellow life, the canary, the one who attracted death, keeping two children safe. What was the universe thinking? And of course in all the nonsense he hardly had any time to think about how he was going to get his next kill. Lizzie had been trying to help, but most of her ideas ended up drifting in a fantastical or hypothetical Jimmy-is-suddenly-amazing-at-pvp scenario and hadn’t come to fruition. 
“Jimmy, look! I made it!” 
Sure enough, Scar had finally managed to clamber up next to Lizzie on the branch, smiling proudly down at him.
“Wow, look at that! Don’t fall, please, I’m running out of bread!”
“I won’t, I’m being very careful.” Scar waved him off, then wobbled and caught himself. “See? Careful.”
“Mm-hm.”
Bzz-bzzt.
Oh? What’s gone on now? He pulled out his communicator.
Geminitay was slain by a zombie
<Smajor1995: ???>
<Grian: red/yellow kill??>
<BDoubleO100: gem’s baby I kno it>
Huh. Gem and Joel had been missing for the entire session so far, and for her to die to a zombie of all things, she must have been seriously caught off-guard. Or small, came the thought, but even then Joel probably would have been looking after her, what with his whole “family” bit. Was he seriously being a better parent than Joel right now? He smiled to himself. What an idea.
And so, continuing his streak of great parenting, he went back to supervising. 
“Wo-OAH!”
And down Scar went, taking Lizzie with him and hitting the ground with a thump. 
“Owwww, Scaaar! That hurt!” Lizzie whined.
“Sorry, sorry! I was tryin’a get higher!”
Jimmy just sighed and fished two more loaves of bread from his inventory. “Come on now, no arguing, just take your bread.”
Thankfully, even though Lizzie and Scar had proven themselves to be quite the tiny squabblers so far, the snacks seemed to settle them enough to just sticking their tongues out at one another and throwing crumbs. It was in the middle of their picnic when he heard someone yelling his name, and he turned to see Gem running towards him. Sure enough, she was a kid maybe the same age as Lizzie, and she looked all out of sorts.
“Gem! Where’ve you been, eh? What’s going on?”
“Y-You gotta— you—“ She gasped, out of breath and stumbling over her words, “You— we need help!”
Jimmy raised an eyebrow. “What? Slow down, who’s ‘we’? You and Joel?”
Gem nodded quickly. “We— we were in a cave and I was s’posed to protect him b-but I couldn’t an’ there w-were so many mobs an’—!“
“Hey, hey, woah, easy.” He knelt down in front of her and put his hands on her small shoulders. This was still so weird. “Deep breaths, ready? In…” She took a harsh breath in. “Out.” She released it. “Now, tell me what’s happened.”
Gem swallowed hard and Jimmy swore he could see the faintest hint of tears forming in her eyes. “Me and Joel are b-both kids, a-and I said we should hide ‘cause we had no adult to protect us so we went into a cave. I-It was my idea an’ I was s’posed to keep him safe, b-but there were so many mobs and—and I di-died and now Joel’s trapped down there and it’s all my fault!” She blurted, and a few stray tears fell down her cheeks.
Oh boy. “Well, that is a lot, isn’t it?” He said rather stupidly, and then rushed to correct himself when Gem’s face scrunched up like she was about to start bawling, “B-But don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted, yeah? Where is he? I’ll help you rescue him.”
“In a cave under our base. I gotta show you, w-we dug it ourselves.” She sniffled, seemingly calming down. Thank admins.
“Alright, well…” He looked over to Lizzie and Scar, who were watching with wide eyes. “Lizzie, I put you in charge. Go inside with Scar and play some board games or something until I get back. Or go play with the neighbours, whatever, just something safe, alright?”
Lizzie got a look of genuine seriousness about her and nodded, and the two of them ran off towards the mountain.
Jimmy offered his hand to Gem. “Alright, lead the way.”
-
The staircase down into their cave was a tight squeeze, but once they were in the mouth of the cave opened up considerably. For an undiscovered cave it was very large and, other than a few of Gem’s stray torches, very dark.
“Jimmyyy!” Gem urged, “Hurry, this way!”
“Right, right, hurrying!”
He heard the mobs before he saw them, and there were a lot. At least two skeletons, a handful of zombies, and a spider. No wonder they’d been overwhelmed, even he was going to need to be careful about this. He motioned for Gem to stay back and brought up his shield, steeling himself with a breath for courage. Why Gem came to him with this was beyond him, but there was no turning back now. Joel needed him. Heck, Gem needed him. He peered around the corner where the pack was clustered around a cobblestone box and noticed a single creeper mixed into the bunch. Bingo. 
“Hey, big stupid mobs! Come and get me!” He shouted, and the entire group turned to come towards him. The creeper scuttled faster, pushing its way to the front, exactly what he was hoping for. He hid behind his shield as they all clustered together and the creeper hissed to life.
BOOM
The only surviving skeleton was easy to cut down with his sword, and he let out a huff of relief as the bones clattered to the floor. He did it. Holy moly he did it.
“Joel!” Gem rushed past him to the cobblestone box and he followed close behind.
He helped her break away the cobblestone, and inside the box with not so much as a torch sat Joel, who was maybe even younger than Scar, curled in on himself and shaking like a cold strider. A tiny part of Jimmy, the tiniest, ugliest part, whispered in his ear how easy it would be to get a dark green kill right now. How simple. But he shut it down. No. Not like this.
“I-I don’ l-like this wildcard…” Joel whined, before bursting into tears.
“Oh Joel, buddy, it’s alright…” Jimmy tried to comfort. His hands hovered uncertainly. A quick glance at Gem told him she wasn’t doing much better and was just barely keeping it together. He needed to come up with something quickly. 
Without stopping to consider the possible awkward consequences, he did the first thing he could think of. He reached down and scooped Joel into his arms.
“Hey, shhh, you’re alright, you’re okay… shhh. Uncle Tim’s gotcha now, everything’s gonna be A-OK.” He hushed, letting every soothing phrase he could think of tumble out of his mouth like alphabet soup. He threw in a little gentle rocking, pet Joel’s hair, anything he could think of until finally the shaking and crying began to settle. The shoulder of his jacket was soaked through with snot and tears by the time Joel properly came back around, but that was fine. He would just have to dunk it in the river or something later.
Joel sniffled and sat up slightly, using one hand to scrub at his face while the other stayed firmly clutched in his shirt. “Ugh… sorry about that, Jim. This whole kid ‘fing sucks…”
“…Joel? Are you okay?” Gem mumbled, face flushed and eyes puffy.
Joel thought for a second, then nodded slowly. “Yeah. Just got a bit scary there, y’know? Stupid baby brain didn’ like the dark.”
“M’so sorry…” She warbled, sounding on the edge of tears again, and Jimmy had to put a stop to that right away.
“Nope, no more crying!” He announced, maybe a bit too loudly, “Everything’s alright now. You did the best you could, Gem. See? Joel’s still on six lives because of you.”
“But I—“
“No buts! You did a good job protecting Joel, and Joel was very brave for staying safe down here by himself. Can we all agree?”
“Haha, butts.” He heard Joel mutter against his shirt. Jimmy counted that as a win.
“Perfect. Now we’re all going to get out of this cave, and you two can spend the night with the Bamboozlers, how does that sound?”
“Like a sleepover?” Gem tilted her head like a puppy, and now that they weren’t in a crisis, man, these guys were cute. 
“Yeah, like a sleepover. C’mon now, I’ve got to get back to Lizzie and Scar before they destroy the server.” He went to set Joel down, only for him to cling tighter and wrap his legs around his torso like a koala. Jimmy was happy to keep carrying him; if he was being honest he expect Joel to start thrashing to be let go the moment he came back to himself, but if he still needed it then Jimmy certainly wasn’t going to judge. Plus, one day it was going to be an amazing story to hold over his head. Maybe not today, but someday.
“So,” Joel said, a cheeky smile on his face as they started up to the surface, “‘Uncle Tim’, huh?”
Jimmy wordlessly reached over and pushed Joel’s head back against his shoulder. “Hush.”
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moeblob · 7 months ago
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You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
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look-at-the-stars-tonight · 3 months ago
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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shima-draws · 1 year ago
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Currently in my banging my head against the wall phase. Hope you all are well 🥰
#Doc told me to schedule another MRI on Tuesday. They said they sent the order over on Tuesday.#I call on Tuesday to schedule the appointment. They don't have the referral yet#I called yesterday to try and schedule. They STILL don't have the referral#I message my doc and make sure they actually sent it over to the right place. (They did.)#They say they'll fax it over again! Great!#I call AGAIN today. They STILL don't have the referral#Bro I just need to schedule this fucking MRI so I can find out what's WRONG with me#The girl on the phone was like 'Oh yeah we're real busy we get orders all the time it must not have hit the system yet'#BRO IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS. HOW HAS NOBODY SEEN IT. TEARING my hair out#I went to their website to try and schedule online. Guess what? THEIR GODDAMN SCHEDULING ASSISTANT IS DOWN FOR MAITENANCE#SCREAMS#Anyway yes so in my banging my head against the wall phase. I'm so tired#And still in pain! To nobody's surprise!!#They can't fix what's wrong with me if I can't even get in to get an MRI. Hello. PLEASE#This isn't really smth that can wait a couple weeks#I should've been in to see them like YESTERDAY.#My pain is so bad I had to stay at home today. And I go and ice my back every hour or so#Bc I can't sit down for more than 45 minutes without wanting to kill myself ;))))#Shima speaks#I'M SORRY I'm just so. I've been over this for months. And now that I'm THIS close to getting answers#I can't. Seem to get these people to schedule an appointment for me#Grinds my teeth
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devilsskettle · 8 months ago
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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ink--theory · 2 years ago
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forever a member of the “landlords don’t deserve rights” club
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loamsome · 10 months ago
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Just going to one of those days I guess
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keeps-ache · 1 year ago
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brother's like 'i don't know how you can have sugar so early in the morning' when i go to get my sweet tea... we used to have birthday cake for breakfast..... this is alright :)
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cheekblush · 1 year ago
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really starting to think someone put the evil eye on me.....
#all 3 of my final lab exams went horribly#today i had an oral exam & my first train was canceled & the second one was 20 minutes late#i arrived 7 minutes late but i was thankfully still on time bc there was still another student in the exam room#my teacher obviously wasn't amused but she was still nice & i got a b which i'm satisfied with#but my teacher seems convinced that i can do much better like a b isn't a good grade?? let me live 😭#i guess i was still lucky bc i was there on time after all & got a good grade but it was soooo stressful i'm glad i didn't cry#and my mom made it so much worse when i told her my train wasn't coming she got all mad at me like it was my fault???#she kept saying i finally need to grow up like girl what does that have to do with the train being canceled? 😭#she stressed me out even more & she actually could've easily driven me to my exam bc i had still had over an hour to get there#but instead she kept berating me and making me feel even worse...#and i kept telling her i'm already stressed enough can't you tell me smth uplifting but she just kept being negative & condescending#it's a little frustrating how all my exams before the finals went so good but now that it really matters everything seems to be going south#but ultimately i just want to pass everything and never set foot into this school again i can't wait for all this to be over 😪#and sometimes i really think the girls i surround myself with at school want me to fail..#like i often miss school bc of mental problems & sometimes i feel like they're mad that i still do well in school??#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but sometimes it really feels like they're waiting for my downfall#our 'friendship' is very superficial as well & i often feel left out from the group tbh#like last friday i stayed behind a little to talk to a girl & none of them waited for me even though we all go to the train station togethe#but they always wait for the other girls of the group..#i'm not taking this too personally bc i don't see them as good or close friends & i know once school is over i won't see them again anyways#but it does hurt a little bc i'm always the odd one out who struggles to make friends no matter where i am#either way..... please please please just let me pass all of my exams & let everything fall into place in my life 🧿🧿🧿#☁️
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tchaikovskym · 1 year ago
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Every time I bond with someone, after some time I've seen all their flaws and I don't love them like I used to, and I feel a sense of alienation,
Even though they haven't done anything wrong, I just... grow tired of them
And that's why I don't think I'm capable of love. There hasn't been a person yet I've wanted to keep a strong bond with after a long period of time
#this is about my coworkers lol#and todays hike#like im a bit petty because they kept rushing and i kept saying that were going too fast bc of all the km ahead#and at first i tried to follow them but at one point i grew to tired and said fuck it#so i lagged behind at my own pace and they had to wait for me after they had gone ahead for a couple of times#and at one point they took a piss break and i was like nope. im going. youre going to catch up with me#and so they did#anyway never going hiking with coworkers again#we actually had another hike before which was cool and we went slowly but today idk. shit#at least quitting will be less hard now lol#also im so tired of them. they keep gossiping about everyone and i literally dont care#but also this post is about my past friendhips too. the girl with the falling out.#maybe there is one friend im cool with and will be cool with forever bc we meet like 2 times a year and dont bother each other with the#every day details of our lives.#so im not sure i could actually love anyone to the point id like to live with them for the rest of my life.#like thats the ideal fantasy goal but in reality i dont think i can handle people#anyway im still pissed about the hike. even with lunch in between we finished it in 6 hours instead of the 8-10hours stated in the guide#like why the fuck would you rush through a hike? its not a marathon and i have short legs aaaahhhhh#sorry but yall long since knew youre following erins life blog right okay love you
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poptartmochi · 2 years ago
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karma is real 🐴
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sharkieboi · 2 years ago
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everyone’s talking all these sophisticated points about Glass Onion but i personally cannot get over the lingering camera shot on the ass of the statue Benoit hides behind to eavesdrop on Miles and Peg
#shhh sharkie#i s2g they spent longer focusing on the ass than on Benoit’s reaction#trying to finish watching this tonight! i started yesterday but then K called and we were on the phone for like an hour and a half#fun convo very good to talk but at the end i was like ‘welp i just used up the energy and attention span i had been devoting to this movie’#and went to bed. so finishing it today hopefully#idk how like adhd motivated i am to watch it but im tired of seeing gifsets and posts about it and not being able to interact#i think i ended up seeing the first Knives Out in theaters but i had waited long enough that i was almost fully spoilered at that point#which like to be clear: i don’t care THAT much about spoilers#cause usually all the important details for the spoilers aren’t in the actual spoilers#it’s like I got the beginning and the end of the puzzle but all the steps to make that puzzle make sense are missing#but with the OG I waited long enough that I did end up getting spoiled for those middle details#and I spent more of the movie looking for those subtle clues instead of just letting myself experience them#anyway! i also took my adhd meds today cause i had work so we’re still in the timeframe for a slightly more neurotypical attention span#did not take my meds over my weekend cause i wasn’t sure i was going to be able to get them refilled before work#so this weekend was kinda a total write-off wrt actual productivity.#i did fun stuff but not important stuff#*stares at the giant pile of clean laundry that has not been put away*
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thedarklyblue · 5 months ago
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starting to worry that i'm toeing the line of being actually annoying to these folks but in my defense i start tomorrow and they have not told me SHIT
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pears-trinkets · 8 months ago
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.
#the whole vet situation gives me such trauma whiplash im too busy with that that i havent really given myself a chance to process today#all i can think about is how painful eating must be for mischa#i noticed she slowed down a bit and wouldnt eat kibble or hard snacks but i thought it might be one single tooth ache idk#i actually thought she was doing better because she slowed down because she has been gulping down food way too fast since the shelter#the last time she had tooth problems like 2-3 years ago i asked a friend to come with me to the vet and she said omg yes of course#and then she resumed texting me normal stuff throughout the day of the appointment and only after i didnt reply the whole day she noticed#like 10 hours too late she was like OH SHIT HAHA!! and this is literally what happens every time when i ask someone to be there for me#when i make myself really vulnerable and ask for help and say that i cant do something alone they let me down#while knowing that i have no one else#i asked my mom to come to the vet once and she literally only talked about herself the whole time distracting me#and then she was like haha yeah lets just drop off the cat at home and go get some lunch hihi!!!!#she never remembers vet appointments even when we just talked about them and loves making fun of me for being stressed and tense#like OH NO WONDER YOU WERE MOODY like im on my period or something#i texted a friend about mischas health issues and me losing my job and she hasnt replied since january and doesnt really talk to me anymore#so i guess that friendship is done too#ill have to go there on thursday alone and overdraft my account and wait until the evening and care for mischa all alone#i cant even talk with someone about this because no one understands or judges my emotions and no one cares anyway#and then ill have to go back to work where everyone knows that i will be gone soon and will pester me about it#they all think of me as a temporary intern anyway and ask WHEN WILL YOU GO FIND A REAL JOB while they make me do theirs#everything and everyone at that job is so horrible and so many people leave and they never learn#a colleague i helped teaching everything suddenly turned on me &my other colleague & made our lives miserable while badmouthing us viciously#and everyone in the office chose her over us and let her get away with it while she screamed at us and behaved like a child#its so ironic how i stayed because i needed money to live and now when i go i will have 0 because of the surgery#i mean its worth it but like#what the fuck is life and what will it fucking be next month
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ifwdominicfike · 1 month ago
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chicken tenders
“the best part of my day is when i get to see you naked.”
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summary - chris has been stressing this entire week, meetings have piled up while also trying to maintain filming and keep up with his brand. all he wants right now is to see you.
switch!chris x switch!reader
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you were on chris’ mind the second he woke up, he hadn’t seen you in about a week due to his busy schedule. he was growing frustrated, mentally and sexually, he would call you here and there to ask how your day was but he wasn’t really listening.
he was too lost in the sound of your tired voice from your long day as you told him what was going on, letting out small hums to let you know he was “listening”.
(flashback to yesterday..)
“and so thats when i tell her that- chris are you okay?” you had heard a soft whine from the other line “y-yeah m’fine, k-keep going ma. m’listening don’t worry..” his face turning red from almost getting caught, hand still wrapped around his cock waiting for you to continue your story “oh ok.. well anyways-“
“o-oh fuck!” he groaned, forgetting you could still hear him. “chris are you-?” you giggle “please ma, n-need you so bad baby.. haven’t been able to see you in so- fuck! so long” he lets out a shaky breath as his hand never stops its movement.
“yeah? need me that bad you’re willing to jerk off to my voice thinking i wouldn’t notice? you’re pathetic chris”
thats what got him, the degrading words pushing him over the edge. all that can be heard from his end is small cries and whimpers with your name thrown in between “fuck. y-you’re killing me baby, can’t wait to see you..”
(present day)
chris was excited for today, some of his meetings got pushed back a couple of days ahead which gave him some time to see you. not right now though, he still had to go to the warehouse to sign cards that were gonna be put in merch drops and still had a meeting or two to attend.
on the way there though he was fairly quiet, usually being his energetic self he would be blasting music throughout the whole car or picking on either matt or nick just because he was bored. “kid you there? hellooo!!” matt said waving his hand in front of chris’ face as they stopped at the red light. “what- matt get your fucking hand away from me dickhead” he pushes his hand away and scoffs “i was trying to ask you something, fucking idiot” matt said, clearly irritated.
“well what? im listening now.” chris grumbled “chris whats your problem? you’ve been acting like a moron this whole week” nick chimes in “probably cause he hasn’t seen his girl all week, s’that it chris?” matt says chuckling while the car starts moving once more.
“kid shut the fuck up already.” chris’ voice is now stern and serious “ooh that must be it” nick says laughing “can you both seriously stop talking, you’re fucking annoying.” he snaps at both of them.
“okay whatever kid just fix whatever the fuck you got going on there, m’not tryna have you moping around with us all day.” matt stated before pulling in to park.
chris was never known to be patient, always eager to have have what he wanted immediately. so when in the middle of a meeting he got a text from you he obviously opened it, not knowing that it was a photo of you in a white lingerie set with a following text saying “need you so bad baby :(“ he excused himself to the restroom and instantly called you.
you pick up immediately with a cheesy smile across your face “hey love!” your voice filled with innocence like you didn’t just get him hard in front of everyone. “y/n cut it out, im serious, right now isn’t a good time sweetheart” he said trying to keep his composure.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about baby, m’not doing anything..” you giggle “ma, please. just give me another hour and im all yours. please.” the desperation in his voice makes your thighs clench in need.
“well what if i want you now, you know i don’t like waiting” you let out a soft sigh, your hand begins to trail down to where you’re aching most. “y/n i swear if you’re doing what i think you are right now.” “don’t act like you don’t like it chris, bet you’re so hard right now, hm?”
“i’ll be there in a hour and if you keep up with this attitude you’re not coming at all tonight.” your thighs clench even more at his daring words. “ugh you’re no fun baby” you groan as he hangs up the phone.
he made his way back as matt and nick look at him annoyed, the meeting was already over and they were just sitting there waiting for chris. “do i have something on me? whats up?” he says checking his clothes and fixing his hair “you had us sitting here for forever, stupid fuck” nick says getting up “yeah whatever kid, are we leaving or not?” he makes his way out not waiting for the two behind him “kid walked out like he’s the one driving” matt said, making nick giggle.
the three were on the way home from a long day, matt was yawning every chance he got and nick was already asleep in the back, chris on the other hand though had a huge grin formed on his face.
“matt can you drop me off at y/n’s?” chris said looking over at his brother “yeah sure” he said with laugh following after “what are you laughing at?” chris said confused “nothing, just knew that was why you were acting like a baby today” “yeah whatever dickhead, just turn right here”
you hear a knock at the door, then suddenly your phone goes off, a text from chris. “im here ma” you smile and go to open the door, the second its slightly open chris barges in pinning you against the wall kissing you like he’ll never get to see you again.
he kicks the door closed and locks its before wrapping his arms around your waist, you can feel him through the rough material of his baggy jeans. fuck.
before you could even tell him something he has you over his shoulder in a tight grip before making his way to your room “someones eager” you say with a giggle.
“can’t believe you, sending me that picture in the middle of my meeting, such a fucking tease baby.” he pins you down to the bed, settled right between your legs before trailing his hands up your shirt (his shirt)..
finally shuffling you out of your clothes so you’re in nothing but that pretty lace from earlier, the tension between you two is making your stomach tighten and between your thighs wet.
him being fully clothed while you’re basically bare under him makes your head spin, wanting to see more of him you begin to play with the bottom of his shirt. “please chris, wanna see you..” you whine “yeah sweetheart? go ahead then, take it off” he smirks as you start to slip his shirt off, running your nails down his chest you feel him shiver. “watch it ma.” he warns as your hands go down further to his prominent bulge poking through his jeans.
“i need you so bad baby..”
“poor girl, so fucking desperate for m’cock.” the sound of his belt buckle clinking and his jeans ruffling off is the only thing consuming the silence between you two, he finally removes the only thing keeping you from seeing all of him and you can’t help but gawk at him. “got nothing to say now, huh? you know starin’ is rude mama.”
you roll your eyes and wrap your hand around him, stroking him at a teasingly slow pace. “just admiring you baby, y’so big..” you bite your lip and look at him through your lashes. “you’re so good fuck-“ he groans while fucking back into your hand, small whimpers leaving his lips encourage you to speed up.
“yeah? look at you.. fucking into my hand, y’that desperate?” your thumb smears the pre-cum around him, your lips make their way to his tip giving him small kisses.
“please-please mama” his hips begin to slowly move, trying to force more of himself in your mouth. quiet whines can be heard as you feel his heavy hands settle on the back of your head, you smirk and sit up before he can take things further.
“n-no baby please! i.. i wont touch you o-or anything-“ next thing he knows you’re on top of him and his back is against the headboard. “you need me that bad? look at you about to cry, all because you need to cum. fucking pathetic.” your voice harsh as you settle down on his lap, your hand caressing his rose tinted cheeks while he continues to squirm underneath you.
you lift your hips and begin to sink down onto him, a quiet hiss leaves your lips from the stretch — you grip onto his shoulders to stabilize yourself.
“shit-” chris’ grip on your hips tightens as he guides you further down onto him, your whines now being muffled as you dig your face into his neck.
“chris.. f-fuck”
“what’s wrong now pretty girl, what happened to that attitude you had a couple of minutes ago huh..?” his condescending tone making you squirm as you rock your hips trying to get some relief. your lips travel down his neck leaving open mouth kisses and bites the further down you go, drunk on the way his hands grip your waist and the way he feels inside you.
“j-just fuck me chris! ple-please” those words alone gives him all he needs to start thrusting up inside you, his tight hold on you lifting you up slightly. “c’mon pretty girl, cant let me do all the work yeah..” he teases you as his other hand comes up to grip onto your jaw, making you look directly at him.
you start to bounce up and down, your moans growing louder by the second each time you slam down onto him. chris wasn’t so quiet either — loud grunts and groans can be heard from him as mumbles of your name and praises leaves his mouth.
“good fucking girl ma, doin’ such a good job f’me sweetheart- fuck!”
your pace starts to slow down, the burning in your thighs starts to get too much for you. you make your way up to his neck once more, leaving your mark in various places that he will for sure see in the morning. the thought of the red and purple splotches traced around his neck and collarbones makes you clench around him.
your movements are barely doing anything by now, leaving chris to do all the work as you get closer and closer to coming. “always makin’ me do all the fucking work huh? greedy brat. always getting whatever she wants isn’t that right?” he taunts as he flips you two around, your legs on his shoulders as he starts fucking into you faster and harder.
“o-oh shit! fuc-fuck me chris please, m’so close baby please!” your babbles becoming incoherent as he hits that spot deep inside you that makes your eyes roll into the back of your head. “go ahead mama, come for me. take this dick ma, s’all yours.”
legs shaking as he continues to fuck into you, your hands grip his curls and bring him down to a sloppy kiss. needing to feel him in any kind of way what so ever, you pull back to let out a loud moan as you clamp down on him and release all over his cock. “theree ya’ go mama, goodd girl. my beautiful girl look at youu” he praises.
his groans getting louder tells you he’s close, trying his best not to come before you. he always made sure you came before him, in his words “gotta make my girl feel good.”
“where you want it ma?” “i-inside baby please!” he groans one last time as he feels you clench around him and that was his breaking point, he cums inside you with a proud smile slapped across his face.
his thrusts slow down as you both come down from the high, he starts to pull out before he hears you wince. “you good ma? did i hurt you-“ “no no baby m’fine just- a little sensitive” you give him a tired smile as you lay your head back feeling like you could fall asleep any second now “i fucked you that good then huh?” his smirk making you roll your eyes and throw the nearest pillow at him.
“chris if were not in that shower in the next 2 seconds you’re sleeping on the couch i swear to-” you say joking (half joking) “ok ok damn no need to get all bossy w’me ma, c’mon lets get you up” he’s now off the bed as he picks you up holding you like a baby. “you’re washing my hair i hope you know that” you tell him with a smile.
“yes i know that, when have i not?” he says confused as he smiles at you half asleep in his arms “my sweet girl, i love you so much” are his last words before walking into the bathroom.
- avery’s note ˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆。-
i finallyyy finished this fic omg. i hope you guys like it!! i love bringing dominic fike into any conversation i can. i feel like i could’ve wrote more but i had no real fics for chris.. anyways byee i love youu ᥫ᭡ !!
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 - @submattenthusiast @chrissv4mp @ellaapsworld @jetaimevous @mattsbrowser @55sturn
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0097linersb · 4 months ago
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Sour Candy (m)
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Pairings:��Mingi x Reader
Genre: Smut
Word count: 5k~
Warnings: Very very very needy Mingi, wouldn't say exactly sub!mingi but kind of sub!mingi u know, good boi´s just very desperate. consent lines are kind of blurred in this one so pls skip if it makes u uncomfortable, this was just written in like an hour with absolutely no thoughts or grammar-checking, head empty only filled with crying whiny men <3
Follow me on twitter: wooyosgfreal <3
────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────
“What time did Yunho say he was coming back again?” You asked for about the fourth time that afternoon. 
“In like an hour or two,” Mingi answered patiently like he did all the other times you asked before. “Bro, why do you hate me?” 
“Because you keep making me play this boring game and it really fucking sucks.” 
“That´s just because you´re bad at it.” 
“You´re literally worse than me.” 
“Maybe modernity was wrong all along, maybe women really shouldn´t be allowed to have opinions.” 
“It is a fact, not an opinion. Maybe you men should still be in planes being shipped off to war and leave us alone.” 
“Fine. Do you want to play something else, princess?” 
“Let´s play Overcooked,” You squealed.  
Mingi didn´t even groan this time when you mentioned the game you and Seonghwa were obsessing over lately, simply going back to the home screen on Yunho´s Playstation and looking for the colorful icon. He knew there was no arguing with you. 
While the game was loading, Mingi handed you the main controller and stood up, fixing his shirt that had scrunched up and stretching his back, “Set everything up, I´m gonna go find some snacks.” 
You happily did as told, driving your little animated truck towards the level you had last failed at and playing with your phone to wait for your friend, at least until your vision was blocked by said friend pushing a red plastic bag in front of your face. 
“What´s that?” You asked, already reaching into the bag and picking up one of the soft candies inside. 
Mingi simply shrugged, already chewing on one of the jellies, “Dunno, found them in the kitchen. They´re pretty good though.” 
You trusted his words, popping the candy into your mouth and waiting for the flavors to kick in - and hell you wish you didn´t. 
“Oh my god this is disgusting,” Your face contorts in distaste. 
“It´s cinnamon,” Mingi stares you down, clearly not amused.  
“Yeah, with candle wax. Ew.” 
“Just swallow it and stop being a baby.” 
“I will literally kill myself.” 
He gave you another judgmental glare and sat down next to you on the couch once again, already reaching for his third candy from hell as you forced yourself to let it slide down your throat. You handed him the main remote and picked up the secondary one, coughing to see if flowing some air into your lungs would get the taste of rotten papaya out of your mouth.  
“Maybe it´s poison that Yunho left out as a trap because you keep stealing his food.” 
“Nah, it was right on top of the counter,” He waved it off, pressing play on the game. 
“My point stands.” 
“Yeah, whatever.” 
“You´re very eloquent today.” 
“You´re very annoying today.” 
“The salmon Mingi, the fucking salmon!!” 
“I´m getting it!” 
“Bro, you gotta throw it!” 
“Fuck. I know, but if I leave the fucking rice is going to burn.” 
“I´m throwing you more rice.” 
“I don´t need it.” 
“Yes, you do. Oh my god.” 
“What I do need are some clean plates.” 
“Oh, yeah. On it.” 
“Why do you like this game?” He groaned, cleaning the sweat from his forehead and reaching for another candy in the bag. “You´re making me stress eat.” 
“Doesn´t it make you feel pumped?”  
“Yeah, pumped to punch the TV.” 
“We have one more minute, we can do it if you stop being dumb.” 
“There are literally two plates on the counter ready to go and you haven´t delivered them yet.” 
“Jeez, done. Can you slice me some tomatoes?” 
“One sec,” He answered, mouth full of yet another candy. 
“It would be faster if you would just stop eating.” 
“We´re not making it anyways, let me enjoy one thing at least.” 
And he was right: a few seconds later the TV screen was filled with the sad numbers displaying how you didn´t reach the minimum score - didn´t even come close to it in fact. 
Mingi let out his frustrations by popping the nth white jelly past his lips and you stared at him in disgust, reaching for the bag to understand what that malevolent creation even was.  
“Huh...” 
“What?” He asked. 
“Hm, I mean, this is all in German or Dutch but I´m pretty sure this word means aphrodisiac.” 
“Come again?” His mouth was hanging open mid chew, unblinking eyes staring at you. 
“Hm, yeah. Wasn´t Yunho´s friend just in Amsterdam? The one with the big smile? Maybe he brought those as a souvenir, since you know, it´s Amsterdam. Like, ‘haha look at this candy that makes you horny´.” 
“Oh, yeah. But it´s like a placebo touristy thing, right?” He laughed nervously. “Like, these won´t actually make me horny, right?” 
“Nah, I don´t think this kind of stuff works. It´s probably just for shit and giggles. Do you feel any different?” 
“I don´t know, my heart is beating faster. I think I´m going to die.” 
“Mingi, relax. Now it´s probably just because you´re nervous.” 
“No, what if there´s some kind of drug in these? I ate almost 10 of them! Oh my god I´m going to die. Am I going to overdose, Y/N? What if I start hallucinating?” 
He was being a bit overdramatic, but he did have genuine concerns. 
“Wait, let me call Yunho.” 
Mingi didn´t even hear you, too busy at his own pity party as he whined and stared at the bag´s labels like he could suddenly speak Dutch.  
“Y/N?” Yunho´s voice filled your ears. 
“Hm, hi. Sorry to bother you at work but we´ve kind of got a situation.” 
“Oh my god, did Mingi break my door playing with the bar? I already told him-” 
“No, nothing like that. Huh, do you know that candy that you left on the kitchen counter?” 
“What? No. What cand- Oh. Oh.” 
“Huh, yeah. So... Mingi found it and ate like 10 of them?” 
“Y/N.” 
“Is that bad? He´s kind of freaking out, he´s afraid there´s like drugs in them or something.” 
“There are some stimulants in them but like, in minor quantities. He won´t die because of it. But bro, bro.” 
“What?” You whined, Yunho´s tone making you anxious. 
“He had 10 of them? San had like 3 and said he was at it for hours.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah, oh.” 
“So I guess these do work, huh?” 
“Haven´t tried them, but from what San says it´s some strong shit. Did you take any?” 
“Just like one, tastes like organic trash.” 
“Yeah, good. Let me know how it goes, please just stay out of my bedroom.” 
“Your bedroom? Why would- What are you trying to imply, Jeong Yunho?” 
“Oh shit, client calling. Byeee,” He laughed. “Stupid.” 
As soon as you put your phone away, Mingi stopped talking to himself like a mad man and stared at you with big hopeful eyes. 
“I have good news and bad news.” 
“Am I going to die?” 
“That´s the good news: no, you´re not. No.” 
“And what are the bad news?” 
“Apparently you will get very horny, though.” 
He froze at your words, looking down at his pants, “I don´t feel it, though.” 
“Maybe you won´t, it might be different for everyone,” You shrug, standing up and grabbing your sweater. “All I know is that I am leaving because if it does happen, that´s not a sight I want to be here for.” 
“Please no,” Mingi whined, literally throwing himself on his knees to catch your arm before you could walk away. “Don´t leave me alone here. I just ingested unknown substances, what if my body reacts badly and I actually die? What if I throw up and drown in my own puke here all alone?” 
Once again, over-dramatic but right.  
“Yeah, you´re right,” You sighed. “I would still rather die than see you with a boner so here´s what we´re gonna do: I´m locking myself in Yunho´s room and you can freely roam the apartment and do whatever you want, I´ll check up on you every few minutes. Sounds good?” 
“Yeah, ok,” Mingi agreed. 
“Also, if you´re going to like - ” You motioned vaguely towards his pants hoping he would get what you were trying to say. “Give me a heads up so I can put on some earphones.” 
“Oh my god,” He whined in shame, cheeks going flush. “Yeah, ok.” 
“Ok, good. Huh, bye,” You awkwardly waved as you made your way towards Yunho´s room. “Good luck.” 
You closed the door behind you, hearing as Mingi opened some other game back in the living room. There was not much to do in Yunho´s room so you decided to lay in bed and scroll through Tiktok until Mingi stopped thinking he was going to die and you could leave. Also, you did eat one of the candies too, so you guessed that if they did work, you would feel it as well. 
10 minutes later you still heard Mingi normally playing and cursing outside, but you still decided to yell out an “Everything good?” just to be sure. 
“Yeah!” Was his answer. 
Another 15 minutes went by, and you shot him a text. 
Not dead yet? 
Mings: Still good, I don´t think these things actually work. 
Maybe Yunho was just messing with us.  
Mings: Yeah, fucking asshole. 
You went back to watching your silly little videos, not even noticing the time passing or how everything suddenly went quiet outside. Over half an hour had gone by when your ears finally perked up at the lack of your friend´s loudness.  
You sat up in bed worried. 
You good? 
No answer. 
Mingi? 
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 
You were already picturing his dead body looking all stupid on Yunho´s carpet, thinking about how you were going to explain to the paramedics that he died because he ate too much horny candy.  
No, even worse: How would you explain this to his family? 
Oh, no. Not your best friend. How would you live without him? You liked teasing him and you bickered a lot but you love- 
Your little spiral of insanity was interrupted by a knock on the door and your body was finally able to move after how it had been paralyzed with fear for a few minutes. 
“Mingi?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Oh, thank god. You scared the shit out of me,” You took a deep breath in relief, staring at Yunho´s white door. “What´s up?” 
“Huh, can I come in?” 
You furrowed your eyebrows at his tone.  
Something sounded weird about this.  
“Sure,” You answered skeptically.  
Mingi opened the door and came in, head cast down and gaze not meeting your eyes. 
“What´s wrong-” You started asking worriedly, about to jump out of the bed to go check up on him before your eyes finally zeroed in on the very prominent bulge in his pants. “Song Mingi! What the fuck?” 
“I- I don´t know what to do,” His eyes finally met yours, cheeks tinted in pink and hands trembling. He looked at you like a kicked puppy.  
“And what do I have to do with it? Go deal with it yourself. Eeew, we talked about this,” You raised your hand in the air to try and block the bottom half of Mingi from your line of vision.  
“I already did,” He groaned, rubbing his face in frustration. “Twice.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah. Nothing fucking works - and also, I just can´t stop thinking about you.” 
“What?” You never heard your voice go so high before. “Nuh uh, we´re not going there. Absolutely not.” 
“I´m not happy about it either, ok?” His fingers were squeezing the corner of the door so thigh they were almost white. “Just please, help me out this once. Please.” 
Oh. 
Oh. 
Oh. 
You just prayed that the reason you started clenching around nothing was because the candy was finally kicking in and not because stupid Song Mingi was practically begging in front of you. 
“No!” You screeched, weirded out by your own sudden reaction. “This isn´t you talking, it´s just th stupid candy, you´ll regret it after it wears off -” 
“No but I won´t,” He disagreed, closing the door and rushing towards you like a madman in three large strides. 
You had never seen him like this, you never once in a million years could have gone as far as even imagining the look in his eyes right now. 
“Fuck. It´s just - your skin is so soft, you know?” Mingi pushed the covers to the side so his hand could squeeze your thigh, his knees dipping into the mattress as he crawled on top of you. You were too shocked to move away, frozen in place with your mouth open wide, not really knowing what to do as he rubbed the palm of his hands up and down your skin, squeezing it occasionally with a heavy breath like he had just reached heaven´s gate. 
“Mingi,” You warned, but your voice didn´t sound that threatening anymore. 
“Please, just once,” He breathed out, practically rubbing himself against your body like a cat in heat forcing you to slowly lie back in the bed, his hands gently guiding yours over your head as you slid down. You looked up at his glazed eyes, at the way his hands were shaking around your wrists, the way he was discreetly rutting against your thigh without even realizing he was doing it. He looked so vulnerable and frenzied – And it was doing something to you. 
“Mingi,” You whined, not even sure what you were trying to say or do. 
“You kept walking around with this white top all day,” He let out a broken groan, looking down at said top. “Your boobs look amazing in it. I just- I – Can I?” 
His begging eyes were enough to get you automatically nodding before even realizing what you were agreeing to - When you did process what he was asking for though, his right hand was already squeezing your boobs and kneading at them like his life depended on it, his calloused fingers firm on your body. You could feel how hard he was every time he subconsciously ground against you, shaky hot breaths leaving his lips and hitting the sensitive skin on the side of your neck where his plump soft lips kept lightly brushing against with every move. 
Mingi took advantage of the position, sucking against your vein and leaving pleas in the form of little kisses around your skin. His thumb played with your nipple and your hands were still abandoned on top of your head against the sheets, not sure if you would really let this happen yet - but Mingi didn´t seem to mind, too lost in worshipping you into compliance.  
“I need to fuck you. Like, right now. I´ll - I´ll make you feel good too, I promise,” The shakier and breathier his voice sounded the wetter you got. “I promise. I promise. Please. We -we don´t even need to fuck I can – I can – Let me – Just the tip- Anything-” 
“Just the tip?” 
“Yeah,” He eagerly nodded, his eyes so hopeful you could melt. 
“Ok,” You agreed, physically not being able to say no to his pleading eyes.  
“Fuck,” He groaned in surprise, not actually thinking you would agree to it - But since you did, he wasted no time and made quick work of practically ripping your cotton short down your legs in one harsh tug. “Under normal circumstances I would, you know – But, I – right now I – I can´t.” 
“It´s ok,” You assured, afraid he would actually cry if you made him wait another single second with how desperate he was. 
He hooked his finger on the bottom of your panties and pushed them to the side, not even being able to take them out. He stared at your pussy for a moment, his eyes looking even more insane than before at the sight, like he would actually growl at you. 
“Fuck,” Mingi cursed as he went out of the little trance he was in, pushing his sweater pants and boxers down in a rush - once again not even bothering with taking them all out.  
And oh fuck. 
His cock was so hard you could imagine how it actually hurt; it throbbed against the skin of his abdomen without even being touched, looking swollen and angry with all the veins surrounding it - And man were you glad you agreed on just the tip because there was just no way that would fit without a lot of preparation first. Even with how wet you were right now. Who knew? 
Mingi leaned on top of you once again, one arm supporting the weight of his body in between your legs as he gently guided his dick up and down your folds, his eyes closing at the feeling, a violent shiver taking over his thighs and up his spine with a loud groan.  
Like he had absolutely no control over his body, Mingi positioned himself against your entrance, slowly pushing just a little bit in as promised. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” His groans sounded so raw against your ear as he cursed over the initial resistance of your walls, his forehead meeting your neck to try and ground himself. 
You even let a moan out yourself because this was absolute madness, it felt insane. Your whole body was buzzing like you were electrified, your fingers ached to scratch Mingi´s back and pull him all the way in - Damn, those candies were good.  
And you only had one. 
“Y/N, fuck,” Mingi gasped as he started moving his hips in shallow little thrusts so he wouldn´t break your agreement. “Ah - Ah. I can´t think strai - You´re so pretty. Fuck, fuck.” 
His lips met your neck once again, messy kisses full of saliva and teeth as he shuddered on top of you, leaving marks that would soon turn purple. You could feel how tense every single muscle in his body was as he fought against himself to not rut deeper into you every time he moved, and you were biting onto your lip so hard to keep the noises inside that you could taste blood.  
“Thank you, thank you,” You shivered at the way cold air hit your neck when Mingi pulled back a bit to look you in the eye, “Can I go ah- a little deeper, please? Just a little. It feels so good, I need ah- more. Fuck.” 
“Mingi.” 
“Please,” He cried out and you just couldn´t believe the sight in front of you. 
Tall big strong Song Mingi with the deep voice, reduced to a disheveled delirious mess. His ashy blond hair rumpled, his cheeks burning pink and skin glistening with sweat, his pupils huge and shiny and he just looked so disheartened that it was breaking your heart to not let him just use you however he wanted.  
“I need you,” He agonized, his right arm clinging onto your shoulder like you would run away from him if you could, so out of it that he was already pushing deeper into you without even noticing, eyes shut so tightly at the sensation of your walls around him. “Please, please, please, please,” It was like a mantra. 
He was far gone. 
And kind of so were you. 
You whine in pain and raspy moans left Mingi´s soft lips every time he thrust back into you, hitting farther each time, “I´m sorry, baby. I´m sorry. You can take it right? Ah – Just a bit more, I promise. Fuck. I´m almost ah- in. Why do you smell so good? It´s driving me ah – insane.” 
It hurt, it did hurt, but you also didn´t seem to mind that he was practically splitting you open when his voice sounded this pretty apologizing for it. 
The speed and strength of his hips started picking up to match his urgency, his plush lips were open so captivatingly and his weight was now supported by both arms so he could pistol into you. He didn´t have a specific angle or rhythm to it, his moves were strictly instinctual and carnal, your nails finally finding your way down his back to keep yourself anchored to reality. 
“You´re so so so beautiful, fuck. Your lips - can´t stop thinking about them around my ah- cock. Will you show me?”  
You loved how broken his voice sounded. 
“Yeah, baby. Whatever you want.” 
He shuddered once again at your words, “I´m so close.” 
“Me too,” You nodded, still doing your very best to not let noises of pleasure escape past your lips – and kind of failing. 
“Let me hear you,” Mingi growls, managing to somehow snake his hand in between your bodies to start drawing quick circles on your clit. “Please, I love your voice.” 
You wouldn´t be able to hold back even if you wanted to.  
His chaotic rhythm had an appeal of its own, every broken moan that left his mouth drew you closer to the edge until you finally reached it. Your vision went black, nails digging into Mingi´s biceps so harshly you would feel bad for it later, every muscle in your body tightening as it all washed over you in a devastating wave, leaving your body in the form of gasps and breathy moans. 
“Oh my god, fuck,” Mingi cursed at the way your walls were clenching so tightly around him. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 
He wouldn´t slow down and you were still coming down from your high, twitching with the aftershocks as the oversensitivity quickly began to rise, but you decided to ignore it the best you couldand push through it - you could tell Mingi was close anyway with the way his thrusts became even more erratic, and his voice went up with every moan.  
You were mesmerized by his glossy unfocused eyes, the frown on his forehead, so frantic to get what he needed by ramming into you. He looked so pretty like this, you wanted to destroy him-  
Wow. 
Wait. 
Now where did that come from? 
“Shit, I´m gonna- Fuck, fuck.” 
You watched as his whole body froze for a second before violently shaking, his eyes shot so tightly he was probably seeing white as he continued thrusting into you to ride his orgasm to the end as you felt something warm hitting your walls. And his moans, oh his moans – I mean, you were not deaf, you had always been well-aware that Mingi had an attractive voice, but to hear it like this, so raw and relieved, was truly something else. 
Mingi let out one last broken cry as he slowly stopped moving, dropping his weight on top of you to catch his breath, chest heaving up and down against your ribcage as his muscles continued twitching here and there. You took advantage of the moment to get yourself together too, stabilizing your breathing and trying to figure out what the hell just happened as you two went down, but you also kind of expected Mingi to say something or try to joke around a bit to lessen the burden of the fact that the two of you just fucked - and when he didn´t, well, you started getting worried. 
You were mustering up the courage to say something after the two minutes of silence when the last thing you expected to happen, happened.  
Your eyes were blown wide, “Mingi-” 
“I can´t stop, I´m sorry-” He whined, his still rock-solid cock now slowly moving inside of you once again, rutting into you like he had absolutely no control over himself. 
He was still hard? 
Wasn´t this like his third time already? 
His whole body was shaking in overstimulation but he wouldn´t stop grinding into you, “I´m sorry.” 
“Mingi,” You tried pulling away from him thinking that´s what he was asking for. 
“No, don´t. Ah- Need you,” He desperately grabbed onto your thighs and wrapped them around his hips, your chests flushed against each other's as he hid his forehead on your neck to keep fucking deep into you. Literal whines of pain were leaving his lips, it was like he was an animal incapable of rational thoughts, and it was making you feel dizzy. 
“Mingi, love. You´re going to hurt yourself.” 
“No, feels so ah- Just one more,” He moaned, body shuddering. His whines got you clenching involuntarily around him, suddenly realizing you were kind of close to the edge already. “Please.” 
You felt a strong bite on your shoulder disguising a groan, the animalistic act crashed with how smoothly he was sliding in and out of you, but it also showed how deranged he was at the moment. You tightened your thighs around Mingi´s hips and pulled at the hair on his nape, not bothering with trying to cover up your moans anymore. 
Mingi took the action as permission and started gradually moving his hips faster, broken little whines getting louder and more frequent each second until he was once again supported by both his arms and pistoling into you.  
“I can´t - I can´t,” His voice was so shaky, so broken. “I - Please.” 
And then your whole world stopped as you watched the first tear roll down Mingi´s cheek. 
You were mesmerized, you wanted to frame it.  
“It hurts,” He whimpered, another tear falling, followed by another and then another.  
“You´re almost there,” You cooed, deciding to be useful to the poor giant man breaking down on top of you. “Aren´t you? So close.” 
Mingi nodded, blinking harshly to clear his vision which resulted in more tears running down his face. You just couldn´t help supporting your weight onto your elbow so you could lean up and hold his jaw, kissing the salty traces across his cheeks until his face was clean. He immediately started shaking, moans growing whinier and choppier, his thrusts started losing their patterns as he plowed into you like his life depended on it, entering a mental state he never knew existed before. 
His right hand grabbed your thigh with enough force to bruise it badly as he came for what you imagined was the fourth time in an hour, holding you so close that you could feel his cock hitting impossible places deep inside of you. Mingi was breathing so hard you were kind of worried for his well-being but the noises leaving his lips assured you he was feeling pleasure at least as his nose found its place on your neck once again. 
“Feeling better?” You asked once he had calmed down a little. 
“Kind of,” He pushed back to look at you with a low chuckle, his eyes looking a tad bit saner already. “But I also kind of need to eat you out.” 
You felt his dick twitch inside of you at his own words and how the fuck was that even possible? 
A painful whimper left his lips at the slight stimulation, already way past oversensitive, “Please?” 
 He had the nerve to pout. 
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