#so Jonathan helps him process his grief and his feelings

[catharusustulatus]

Steve is telling Jonathan about Eddie and how he feels it’s his fault Eddie died and how awful he feels, and Jonathan interrupts, goes “Eddie Munson? Long hair, silver chain?” And Steve goes “yeah, yeah. God I just…” and Jonathan laughs, goes “Steve, I sat behind him in math class. Dude had a fat crush on you, man. Doodled your name and everything.” Steve is like what!!!? Jonathan laughs again. “Yeah, his notebook was full of them. Steve Harrington, Eddie Harrington….my favorite was Steve Munson.” Steve asks why he never told him. “Because I didn’t know you wouldn’t beat him up.” “Oh.” “Yeah, but you’ve changed. And he’s…gone.” Jon shrugs. Steve looks on the brink of tears. Jonathan is like hey hey, what’s wrong? You uncomfortable or something? And Steve just sighs, says “no, no. Just thinking about what could have been I guess.” He sighs again, fiddling with his hands. “Oh shit,” Jonathan says. “Oh, oh….” And then Steve puts his head in his hands and cries.

[see-arcane]

I think what I love most about the idea of Jonathan clearly becoming Something Else is that it's so much scarier than a vampire. We know the rules and limitations of a vampire. Van Helsing can even provide a list. But Something Else? Let's be real, not even Jonathan knows.

Quincey: Hey, I couldn't help but notice Harker is kind of, uh. Metamorphosing in the corner over there.

Van Helsing: He is going through a grief-filled and harrowing time, Friend Quincey.

Quincey: True. But I don't tend to recall 'spontaneous hair color change, wall-crawling, inhuman speed, blazing eyes, and having an omnipresent heightening scare chord present in the soundtrack whenever you do things' as part of the grieving process.

Van Helsing: Are you not supposed to be laconic?

Quincey: Are you not supposed to be up every available textbook's ass about supernatural happenings in our vicinity?

Van Helsing: Friend Quincey, in fullest honesty, I feel it is best that he copes as he likes. If that means he has to transmute into an entity unknown to the written word or human recognition, that is his choice.

Quincey: ...

Van Helsing: ...

Quincey: So you're putting caring on hold because the Cross and Wafer combo hasn't given him hives.

Van Helsing, pouring himself his third stress-brandy: Perhaps.

Quincey: Jack, back me up here? We should be a little concerned, right?

Jack, has been melting into a manhood-admiration puddle as he watches Jonathan 'White-Haired Romantic Horror Anime Man' Harker handling his kukri in plain view for the past 3 hours: yeag

[weebsinstash]

Alright bestie I’m on that shit again

So yandere Superman, right? Like obviously your fucked. The only other yandere in existence that might just be able to keep you from him is Batman, but even then he’d probably sooner work together just to ensure your safety- but that’s a prompt for another day.

Back to yan Superman, imagine you’re his darling and he is “keeping you safe”. But one day, you get snatched up by some organization that wants to use you as leverage or some shit, but you are just sobbing in relief at maybe being free- only to have Superman show up and do some not so super things to everyone who “stole” you

There are just so many casually horrifying things about Superman that people don't realize until you start like digging into his lore. "Oh he's super strong and a super fast flyer" actually he can do basically anything at those super speeds to the point he can literally even PROCESS THOUGHTS at near light-speed which means he has Absolutely Terrifying reaction times and can make plans and schemes on a dime, which, you know, can be even better utilized by him being intelligent. He has natural invulnerability so if you throw a punch at him too hard you could literally shatter the bones in your hand and he can't even control that, like you could literally hurt yourself with him on accident! He can see across INSANE DISTANCES and his x-ray vision doesn't have like a set range so he could do anything from, peep inside buildings to spy on you, to looking under your clothing for any bruises or injuries or even self harm marks, to peeking behind your hero disguise to learn your true identity, to seeing if there's anything inside your stomach and seeing if you're eating properly. Like jesus christ he literally found out Lois was pregnant from waking up one morning and suddenly hearing the heartbeat of the FETUS, there's literally nothing from him pulling that stereotypical "I know you're nervous or lying or afraid because I can literally hear your heartbeat increase" scary bullshit

And let's talk about Lois for a sec because my god her death was literally what kicked off the Injustice timeline? And there are other forms of Superman media where she just straight up dies naturally of cancer! Sure we could take the easy way and say "in this au Lois never existed or was just Clark's friend and he loved YOU" (which is my preferred default tbh bc, no competition for Reader lol) but I mean if you're going for that angst, that real whump, a yandere Clark Kent that just lost his wife/unborn child to either the Injustice incident or cancer, now overcome with grief? And in those cancer timelines they usually already have a son, Jonathan, and sometimes Jordan, and here's Clark thinking, well, his boy needs a mother, and he's got these weird feelings for you, and lil Jonny clearly has affection for you, maybe bring a bit of a platonic yan himself who sees you as either a big sister or even a secondary mom, so... be his wife maybe?

Like my god if Reader somehow helped him through the grief of losing Lois and managed to avoid "fully activating" Superman's anime villain arc, like he's going full fascist in the Injustice 2 Bad Ending, then some shit DEFINITELY goes down when Reader gets taken away. It just reactivates all his trauma. No! He can't lose anyone else! Jonathan can't lose anyone else! You're not just someone he loves, you're his FRIEND!

You're just huddled in whatever cell you've been kept in with your black eyes and bruises and knuckles bloodied from trying to fight back when you hear Clark's voice and you look up with excitement that just falls immediately off your face because holy shit did he just unlock that thumbprint scanner with a severed arm, and suddenly you're realizing there are other shades of red on his costume and dripping from his fingers

I can only imagine like, ngl I considered a sequel to my fic Doubt where Reader escapes the manor and runs into Supernan as the only other person who can protect you, so here we would have the inverse: you're the only one who knows about Clark's increasing instability and, while you still have your own freedom and autonomy, try to speak to Bruce about it, and now you have Batman Vs Superman: Competing For Your Heart Edition. I can only imagine what sort of unhinged reactions there would be if you think you've got Batman alone and you're beginning to cry all "Bruce I'm really worried about Clark, he isn't acting like himself, there's something wrong with him" and. Clark is like literally using his x-ray vision to read lips through the walls if he can't use his super hearing to outright eavesdrop.

Of course as you suggested, I'm always a slut for ideas with"oh shit I ran to this guy to help me and he's ALSO crazy, now they're teaming up and I'm in some weird shared/poly situation with TWO nutjobs". Lmao you go to Bruce concerned about Kal and Bruce goes to confront him and Clark just drops "did you know Y/N has been hiding self harm cuts under their hero suit also wow they smoke HELLA weed and im worried about their lungs and all the stuff they do when they're alone that no one else knows about 🥺" and suddenly here's Bruce " thanks i hate this actually :)" and there's a scheme concted to spy on you or move you elsewhere.

I've even thought of "Reader oh nooOoooOo, that, giant monster or villain attack or whatever also coincidentally destroyed your shitty little apartment complex? You mean Clark 'accidently' got sent flying into your building or smacked some giant creature into it and now you don't have a place to live? And you're broke too? Oh no 🥺 Well, BATMAN has this nice big house with lots of room in for you to stay toooootally 'temporarily', we PROMISE uwu"

Batman is the one who can put a tracking chip injected into your skin or even disguised as a filling in one of your teeth, and Superman is the one who can zoom off to rescue you/retrieve you "faster than a speeding bullet". I think one of the only people who could bring them down together at that point would be like. Fucking DARKSEID and, Jesus no, you definitely don't want HIM treating you as a pet 😭 the evil Batman that was brainwashed by him in the Apokolips War movie was scary enough (and scary HOT, lmao, let him keep me as some sort of prize and the only luxury Darkseid will allow him as a reward for his obedience. Lord Batman goes from having a meeting talking about like enslaving people to returning to his quarters and railing tf outta you because he's still holding onto some slim vestiges of humanity where he cares about you but also using you as his personal anti stress fuck toy)

[love-kurdt]

wip (writing is [happening, and here’s the] proof) sunday

from NTWDT2. i fucking love this scene and just had to share

“Guys… I have some news. It’s, uh… it’s pretty important.”

The sound of everyone’s forks on their plates stopped mid-scrape. I took a shaky breath.

“What about, sweetie?” Mom asked.

“So… I might have a boyfriend.”

“Might?” Dad grumbled, stabbing a piece of broccoli with his fork. “So, what, you have half a boyfriend?”

Mom scoffed. “Hopper, for Christ’s sake–”

“We’re Jewish, Joyce.

“For Christ’s sake–”

“Mom! Dad! Let him talk,” El cut Mom and Dad off, nodding at me to continue. “You were saying?”

“I have a whole boyfriend,” I playfully rolled my eyes. “We’ve been dating since November 2nd.”

“I’m very happy for you, Will. You deserve this,” my brother said in earnest, and I tried not to get choked up. He’d really been there for it all, hadn’t he? He’d seen me fall in love for the first time, and helped me through all of the grief and heartbreak that followed.

“Thanks, Jon.”

“So what’s this boy’s name?” Dad asked.

“Matt Winters.”

“Matt Winters,” El repeated, her eyebrows furrowing as she processed this new information. She shifted her gaze back up to me. “And you like him?”

“Um… I wouldn’t be dating him if I didn’t like him.”

“So why didn’t you invite him here for the holidays?” Mom asked, looking almost offended if it weren’t for the wide smile on her face. “You know we have no problem with hosting guests!”

“Yeah, I know. That’s not the reason why I didn’t invite him, though,” I grimaced. How could I explain that Matt wasn’t anything like Mike, and that I wasn’t sure how they’d react to me dating someone new? How could I explain that I still wasn't exactly completely over Mike yet, and taking Matt home for Hanukkah would have felt a little bit too… soon for me?

“I don’t know,” I continued, “I… I just… I want to make sure the guy I bring home for the holidays is someone I’m one hundred percent serious about. And I’ve only been dating him for a month and a half, not to mention he’s my first boyfriend ever! Cut me some slack!”

“So I guess you could say that this Matt is out of your… Wheelhouse,” Jonathan muttered, and El snorted. He just had to go there, didn’t he?

“Hmm,” Dad stroked his beard in thought. “I wonder if that tall glass of water of yours is back in town yet.”

“No, please, not this again,” I whined, putting my head in my hands as discussion about Mike Wheeler broke out at the dinner table.

This had been a common occurrence throughout all of high school. Everyone in my family was convinced that Mike reciprocated my feelings, and that we would eventually get together.

El and Jon teased me endlessly when I came home from Mike’s place, and forced me to recount every single second we’d spent together. Mom was a meddler; she’d always find ways to get Mike over to our house for family meals, and made it a point to emphasize the word family with the implication that he was a part of it. When Mike asked me to senior prom, that was the icing on the cake for Dad; I think he even made a chart after that. Dad was both my biggest cheerleader and my biggest comfort, especially when I told him about what happened after I found the letters.

But that chapter was over. So I cleared my throat, and everyone stopped talking, turning to face me.

“Matt is really great, guys,” I said in a low voice. “And yeah, he’s not Mike, but… at least give him a chance, will you? I’ll bring him home during Spring Break, and you guys can meet him then.”

[blakeswritingimagines]

When you lose a loved one

Eddie: He’ll hold you and hug you close whenever you want. He’ll talk to you that the person you lost would not want you to suffer. He’ll offer his shoulder if you need to cry, his ear if you need to vent, and show you all the love that person was denied in this world.

Gareth: He knows it is important to listen to your feelings and not try to rush the grieving process. He thinks it may be helpful to remind you of the happy memories and experiences you had with your loved one. It can also be beneficial to offer practical assistance, such as helping you arrange for a funeral and support group however he’ll try taking you to hellfire thinking it’s the same thing, if needed.

Steve: With words of remembrance and comfort. He lets you know that your loved one is in a better place now, and offers you his support and assistance. Allowing you to take as much time as you need to grieve and process your loss, and remind you that you aren’t alone in your grief.

Robin: She’ll just be there for you, listens to you, and reassures you that you’re not alone. Offers to do small tasks like washing dishes or taking out the trash to take some pressure off your shoulders. Reminds you that while the loss is painful, it’s also temporary. Above all, tries to avoid using platitudes and instead offers genuine support and understanding.

Nancy: She would tell you to remember the good memories of the one who has passed. She would remind you that grief is a natural and necessary part of the mourning process, but that it does not last forever. 

Jonathan: He knows it is important to provide words of hope and comfort in such a trying time. He’ll reassure you that you are not alone, offers to listen without judgement, and reminds you of the joyful moments you shared with your loved one. Sometimes simply being present to offer comfort can mean the most.

Argyle: He knows there are no easy words or ways to comfort you during something so heavy. He tries his best and thinks it is best to remind you that the memory of your loved one lives on through your stories and deeds which he often lets you tell him different stories.

Billy: Offers to listen to you and listens without judgment. Thinks it can be helpful to let you share fond memories and reflections on the deceased, and to remember the good times that you had together.

Henry: In the death of a loved one, there is no comfort there is no cure for grief. But he finds that by talking about the person who has passed, by remembering the good times together, the sorrow and joy of your shared experiences there can be a catharsis.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Who's your #1 favorite TMA character and why?

Oh god I love them all but I'm gonna have to say that Jonathan Sims has GRIPPED ME. That sad little man fills my thoughts constantly.

It's one of my biggest fears that if I'm ever even slightly unlikeable then I'll be unlovable but he's prickly and makes bad decisions and is hell bent on doing stuff on his own and yeah I'm also known to be a maker of bad decisions and not great with people and hugely stubborn and would rather die than ask for help so it's nice to see that when it comes to it, we're both loveable including those parts and not regardless.

He's also dorky and makes terrible jokes and is long suffering and literally same. I love this man.

It sounds weird to be like yeah eldritch antichrist is literally me but I think it's the writing as well that's made so many people just latch on to Jon cause he's just so human, everyone makes bad decisions and can be stubborn and prickly sometimes and so we all see parts of ourselves in all the characters really but especially Jon. He was put in a terrible situation and he reacted like any person would. Just like we do in our terrible situations.

I've got a soft spot for Martin as well because some of my favourite people are very much like him, they just give and give and I feel protective over him like I feel for them. I've also been Martin, just like we've all been him at points of our lives. Also like he's Martin he's amazing he makes tea and likes cows and writes shitty poetry and cares so much!! Who wouldn't like him?? (We also share some trauma so there's that as well lol)

I also really like Tim for sort of similar reasons. I can relate to his reaction to a horrible situation being This Is Unfair and making sure everyone knows that It is Not Right and It Sucks. Cause he's right to do so and it's an understandable reaction even if it's not the prettiest. And I fucking love ugly and realistic depictions of trauma and grief. He thinks he's the only sane one there, the only one willing to see the truth of the situation and that makes him miserable and I understand his rage. He's never properly processed any of his grief cause he's stuck in his rage and it's painfully understandable but also his downfall and I think that's the tragedy of his storyline. He's also a bomb ass bisexual manwhore whom I love dearly.

So yeah, I hope that answered your question!! Thanks for asking it!!

[background-character-341]

I posted 11,243 times in 2022

That's 11,243 more posts than 2021!

131 posts created (1%)

11,112 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sunflowersand-bees

@swashbuckling-chicken

@sorry-i-panicked

@no-ordinary-demigirl

@thatonesongyouretryingtoremember

I tagged 1,213 of my posts in 2022

#byler - 131 posts

#will byers - 51 posts

#random rambles - 51 posts

#mike wheeler - 50 posts

#asks - 43 posts

#bylers trying to break me - 41 posts

#mutuals - 33 posts

#mine - 16 posts

#not mine - 15 posts

#el hopper - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#and need to break up and spend soem time apart before they can build a relationship without societal expectations piled on them

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Okay, so I've seen a few posts recently about how Nancy doesn't care about Mike. This has bothered me ever since it started, and I think I've finally figured out why: I relate way too hard to Nancy right now. Their relationship actually reminds me a lot of the relationship between me and my sister.

Here's the thing. I don't interact with my sister if I can help it. It's sad but it's true; that's just the way we've structured our lives. We live in the same house and eat meals together, but that's pretty much where our interactions stop. We've fully separated ourselves from each other.

Nancy and Mike's main issue right now is communication. They don't know how to talk to each other, and the few times that they do try to have a conversation, it's usually an argument. We see this all the time in season 1 when they are having dinner, but we also see this in season 3, when she is telling him that he should respect El's wishes and ends up inadvertently invalidating his feelings.

Nancy doesn't know how to talk to Mike, and I think that a lot of that has to do with their parents' relationship. Karen and Ted clearly don't talk much to each other. They've built these walls around themselves to protect them from this loveless marriage. And without any good examples of healthy communication, Nancy and Mike have also learned to build these walls around themselves. We know this because we've see the way these walls affect their other relationships.

In Mike's case, his relationship with El is defined by these walls, and he uses her as a way of keeping them up. His relationship with Will is similar, though more to the extent that he's the only person who Mike lets them down around. We also see this in the way he represses his feelings for Will. He also has walls around his feelings to hide them from himself.

Nancy is in a similar boat. Her relationship with Steve was defined by the way she repressed her feelings, it was a shield that she used against her grief for Barb. With Jonathan she could let her walls down. But Nancy is still repressing her grief for Barb. We see that with her Vecna vision in season 4. She hasn't fully processed this, and she's hiding these feelings from herself, just like Mike is with his feelings for Will.

Nancy and Mike are very similar characters. They are both selfless and caring and incredibly smart. And they are both stubborn and so very bad at processing their feelings. They've both built walls around themselves so that they don't have to acknowledge that they're hurting. And when you've got these two people with walls and no basis for healthy communication, you get this strained relationship that's hurting them both. You get two people who love each other very much, but are worlds apart.

I think there's some merit to the idea that Nancy is trying to be everybody else's big sister. She doesn't know how to do that for Mike, so she tries to do it for his friends, because they're easier to talk to. They don't have walls that she needs to break down. They don't have a relationship with her that was built on a foundation of repressed feelings and antagonism.

We see Nancy try to reach out to Mike at the end of season 1. She tells him no more secrets and then immediately lies to her about her feelings for Jonathan. And regardless of whether you believe that Mike is bi or gay, it's clear that his response to her question about El is supposed to be a direct parallel to that. Neither of them are ready to keep that promise yet. Neither of them are ready to let down those walls and let the other in.

But that season 1 conversation gives me hope for them. Because the Duffers have shown us time and again that they don't throw in lines for shits and giggles. They don't just forget details from earlier seasons. The same people who gave us blue meets yellow in the west, who gave us numerous callbacks to season 2 in season 4, who paralleled Jonathan's talk with Will to Karen's talk with Mike, didn't just forget an important character moment from the first season. The same show that has shown us it knows how to write siblings, knows how to write friends, and is in the process of writing one of the greatest queer love stories we have ever seen, didn't just abandon this sibling relationship.

I fully believe that Mike is going to go missing next season somehow. And yes this will be great for us bylers who get to see Will looking for Mike with the same intensity that Mike looked for Will. But it will also force Nancy to confront her love for Mike as well as her trauma with Barb. And the next time they see each other they will finally be ready to tear down those walls and truly be vulnerable with each other. They'll finally keep their promise.

The beginning of season 4 is a small moment as far as their ineractions go. It's short and rushed and they are both annoyed at each other. And for me, it's also painfully real. Their relationship isn't bad writing, or Nancy not caring about Mike. It's a tragedy. Another casualty of the Wheeler trauma.

49 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

#4

I love it when a post starts out by saying "This is one of the biggest Byler proofs" because I've seen so many of those and they're always talking about something different and they're always so right, whatever they're analyzing is always 100% correct and can only point to byler and honestly that's the biggest Byler proof for me.

53 notes - Posted November 2, 2022

#3

Okay! Since apparently I'm back on Tumblr now I'm gonna finally make an intro post to stop cluttering my blog description.

WELCOME TO THE CHAOS

My name is Em. I am a minor so if that makes you uncomfortable dni.

I'm a boyflux girl (for now) and my pronouns are she/he/they/ey(/em/eir/eirs/emself).

I am QUEER. I am a VERY STRANGE PERSON. I am an ODDITY.

I'm also an aroace girlkisser. I like girls. I would like to kiss one. Platonically.

I'm married to @no-ordinary-demigirl @thebylerfiles and @sunflowersand-bees and I adopted @weirdo09.

My blog is a mess. Don't expect cohesion. I will do anything I want. 😈😈😈

I like Stranger Things, the Owl House, Amphibia, Wednesday, The Locked Tomb (if you spoil Nona for me I will find you and take your eyeballs) and a whole bunch of other stuff that I will probably add here later.

I think that's it for now. Have fun!!!!!!!!

55 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

#2

Luz: Everything is so crazy right now, and I have no idea what my future holds, but it would be so cool if you were in it

Mike: I have no idea what's gonna happen next. But, whatever it is, I... I think we should work together. I think it'll be easier if we're... we're a team. Friends. Best friends.

Parallels

59 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay, so I've decided to finally write this analysis that's been kicking around my brain for way to long.

Also, just a note before we start: I wholeheartedly believe that byler is endgame and Mike loves Will. Therefore this analysis was written with that in mind. If this bothers you for some reason, keep scrolling.

So, without further ado:

Stranger Things 4 and Romantic Monologues

We all love to shit on Mike's monologue and how it was a complete and utter failure as a declaration of love. We also love to heap praise on the van scene as a romantic moment. But these two aren't the only two romantic monologues in season 4, and if we take a closer look at them, there's a pattern regarding which ones work and which ones don't.

Mike

So Mike's monologue is objectively bad as a declaration of love. There are a million analyses on how bad it is. And it's very bad. Mike is lying the entire time, uses words that are a direct callback to things said to El by her abuser, and has to be prompted by her brother. Not to mention the fact that the entire thing was in response to Will's feelings, not hers. Mike barely pays any attention to what El actually wants, instead giving her what he thinks she wants. Yeah, Mike told El that he loved her. But it was never really about hearing him say I love you. I won't dive too deep into that; go read this post if you want to know more. But the general gist of it is that the only reason El wanted to hear him say I love you was because Mike wasn't making her feel loved. And his monologue didn't fix that because it didn't come from his heart. It was fake and riddled with romantic cliches and had to be wrenched out of him by the image of her choking on the table in front of her. It's very bad.

Steve

So Steve's monologue is technically two monologues, but I'm going to treat it as one for the purposes of this analysis. I absolutely despise these monologues. But we're already off to a better start than we were with Mike, because Steve is being genuine. You can tell because he isn't falling back on romantic cliches or what he's supposed to say in a moment like this. His six little nuggets speech feels genuine because that is how he feels. It's all coming from his heart.

The problem with his monologue, and the reason why I hate it, is that it doesn't take into account what Nancy wants. And we know that she doesn't want any part of the future he's envisioning for himself because she goes out of her way to tell us. She says, "That sounds like a nightmare". She is very clearly not on board with this plan and the writers make sure we know that.

So while Steve's monologue is genuine, we have yet another romantic monologue that ignores what the person on the receiving end actually wants.

Jonathan & Nancy

This one's a bit of an outlier. Technically, it's two monologues: one from Jonathan and one from Nancy. But they're set side by side like a dialogue, so it makes more sense to look at them as one.

Unlike the previous two declarations of love, these two actually take into account the person on the receiving end. They're about their qualities and strengths and what they see in them. We already know they love each other before they ever say it because you don't talk like that about someone you're not in love with.

But this is also the first time we've seen an endgame couple say the word love in relation to each other. And after they both say they love each other, Nancy insists that everything is fine in their relationship, and you can hear the bitterness in her voice. She's lying. And we find out later that everything isn't fine in their relationship, and they are in fact having communication issues. Their monologues did nothing to change that. They did nothing to fix their problems.

The monologues are genuine. We can feel that. We never doubt that they actually love each other. And we can see that in their reunion in episode 9. But they don't address the actual problems they're having. Something's still missing.

Lucas

As they're walking to skull rock, Lucas and Max have one of the most important conversations for rebuilding their relationship in season 4.

Lucas in this scene is reassuring Max with this monologue. Telling her that she doesn't need to hide anymore because he understands that she's going through something hard and he's here for her. It's a monolgue that's tailored to Max's insecurities. When Max tries take on some of the blame for their relationship falling apart, Lucas immediately shoots her down because he knows that she has so much guilt over what happened to her brother, and what she needs right now is someone to tell her that it's not her fault. Lucas tells Max that he sees her because he knows that she has been feeling invisible.

I see you aren't inherently romantic words, but they do more for Lucas and Max's relationship than any I love you ever has for any other relationship in this show, because they are the words that Max needs to hear.

And that's the crux of it really. This monologue works because it's what Max needs to hear. It's about acknowledging her feelings and reassuring her insecurities. It's about bridging the gap between the two of them.

Joyce

Joyce and Hopper have two romantic moments after they reunite: one right after, and then one at the church. The first one is basically Joyce telling Hopper that they missed him and the second one is her telling him that he was worth that whole trip. Unlike Lucas's monologue, they're both much more romantic moments, but they still follow the same basic formula. Joyce is telling Hopper what he needs to hear.

Hopper's main insecurity is that he only brings sadness and death to the people around him. But here Joyce is telling him that that's not true. They missed him. They want him around. She even brings in El as proof of this. And she's telling him that he's worth it. He's worth all that money, he's worth getting captured, he's worth crashing a plane in Russia. He's worth it. And they missed him.

Will

So, finally, the van scene. This scene has been analyzed a million times. I have gone from thinking that Mike is an idiot with rocks in his brain to being convinced that he knew exactly what Will was talking about here. This scene has so many layers, so much to be looked at and analyzed, and there's no way I can do it justice. This is where I direct you to this analysis. Just go read it, it's amazing.

But from the perspective that we're looking at, from the perspective of romantic monologues and why they work in Stranger Things, this one follows the same formula that the last two have. Will in this scene is doing the same thing for Mike that Lucas did for Max and Joyce did for Hopper: he's reassuring Mike. Mike feels insecure in his relationship with El. He feels like he's not important. Like he's nobody, and nobody needs him. And Will is telling him, "No. You are somebody. You are important. You make (El) feel like she's not a mistake. (El) needs you Mike."

The reason Mike is so moved by this monologue is that this is everything he has ever wanted to be told. And for the first time he feels loved. And Will never once said those three words.

I see you, I missed you, I need you. On the surface those words aren't nearly as romantic as I love you. But that's the point. I love you is too general. I love you could be about anybody. But having the ability to look at someone, see the parts of them that they hate, and say that they don't need to feel that way because you're there? That's specific. That's love.

Grand declarations of love don't work in Stranger Things because they don't actually address the relationship. They don't get to the heart of it and tell you what it is about these two people that makes them compatible. And they don't address any of the underlying problems in a struggling relationship. All the I love yous in the world can't change the fact that Jonathan is lying to Nancy about Emerson. They can't bridge the huge chasm between Steve and Nancy. And they certainly can't make Mike and El's relationship less toxic.

129 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fastcardotmp3]

I've been rewatching the bear and thinking about this Constantly and like the characters aren't always a 1-to-1 replacement but BOY do I have more to say because--

Mike as the overly protective nuisance over the way things were no matter how messy and chaotic and dead-end it was because Nancy wasn't the only one who lost someone here.

The Wheeler and Holland families were all but one and Barb was something like an annoying big sister fill-in while Nancy was off chasing her dreams and maybe he feels a bit of resentment for that, maybe he is hurting and can only express it by pushing back against his actual sister now that she's home, right? and Holly--

Holly the littlest sister who thinks they would all probably be healthier if they just let this thing die with Barb, but who is still the littlest, who can't help but want to help them make it work even when it feels like it's only tearing their family further apart in the process and--

Robin Buckley as the "they called you good. really good. but inpatient and green too" sous chef who shows up and shakes up and is both unerringly willing to stick it out and learn from the woman who made the best meal she's ever eaten and completely and totally unwilling to leave her own wants and needs and goals at the door.

They snipe at each other, they work well together, they have a camaraderie worth fixing even after it's broken because at the end of the day they want the same things and, even when they don't see it, they fit each other's crazy.

And don't get me started on the potential for stobin friendship in this universe because--

Steve is the guy who goes from making mediocre bread because it's his job and its how he pays rent to actually finding something like a purpose and a passion when Nancy and Robin show up and make him realize how much care goes into not just a single meal but a single sauce.

Steve is the guy finding himself in the corner as he bakes and experiments and fucks up along the way but finds out too that that's not the end of the world so long as he doesn't let it be and then--

You've got the likes of Max and Erica, both of whom are borderline furious with these new people coming in and fucking with their tried and true System, who don't like being told what to do by newbies no matter how big and fancy their resumes are, who are loyal to Barb's memory to an almost debilitating degree in same but different ways to Nancy and that's why they butt heads until they realize that this-- this actually works, this could be something, this could be what it means to be loyal to Barb and--

Dustin the ill-fated handyman who fixes things that need fixing even though they can barely pay him for it and who wants a bigger piece of the pie than that and--

Jonathan, Nancy's ex boyfriend but current friend who pesters Nancy into joining a grief group because why don't you try processing your trauma for once in your life, Wheeler and--

Lucas the delivery guy who definitely doesn't have a massive crush on Max, who in turn tells him to stop stalking her every time he has to drop off a new order, leaving both of them grinning and blushing by the end of the interaction and--

Eddie the dishwasher who Nancy fully slaps in the face when she finds out he'd been helping Barb fill financial gaps by selling drugs out behind the shop and the guy who also maybe hangs onto Steve's every word when he gets going about this donut he's trying to perfect and--

They definitely owe Murray money and there's Argyle the food reviewer who accidentally puts them on the local map and Will & El who are family but who refuse to be part of the shitshow and still, still--

At the center of it all, still Barb, who had to die for any of it to be possible, but who first had to live. Who is an all-encompassing presence surrounding what they're trying to do, what Nancy is trying to do, and is equal parts a haunting and a blessing for it.

Barb dies and leaves her life's work floundering for someone to take it and hold it and care for it and Nancy Wheeler stumbles through the grief and the burden of it all to somehow, impossibly and inevitably, make it something.

you get what I'm saying?

so who is going to give me the 'the bear' au of my dreams in which Nancy inherits her best friend's family restaurant after Barb dies and leaves it to her and has to cope with his grief for the girl who pushed her to get out of this town and make something bigger of herself all those years ago while simultaneously trying to fit herself back into the place she left behind in the first place which is also now filled with people who do not fully trust her or her big culinary training but want, in spite of it all, to see this place thrive WHO is going to give it to me I've been so brave I deserve it

[eufezco]

THE GRIEF OF LOSING EDDIE MUNSON

Steve Harrington x Byers!Fem!Reader, because I need to make everything about Steve sorry.

A/N: Listen to Glimpse of us by Joji, Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens and Die first by Nessa Barret for the full experience. Once again, english isn't my first language<3

Tw: self harm, panic attacks, not eating. I've seen a lot of people having such a strong reactions to Eddie's death and this is super angsty so be careful reading it please.

The door of your room was closed. It was closed most of the day, the only person who dared to open it was your mother to check up on you. Every now and then. She would leave it open, pretending to forget about closing it after going out of your room so she could have an eye on you. But that day you decided to keep it open yourself.

Someone knocked on the door of the house. Joyce being the one opening it to find Steve with a half-smile on his face. She hugged him before letting him inside.

—How is she doing? —The boy asked your mom, her replying with a grimace, pointing at your open door with her head. Steve blinked, nodding. That's good, he thought.

Steve went to the living room where El, Will and Jonathan were having breakfast, Hopper was sitting on the couch watching the TV. Steve said good morning to all of them and sat at the table with your siblings.

Joyce asked him if he had already had breakfast to which Steve answered by nodding his head and thanking her for worrying. Will showed him his new drawings and El talked about something he wished he could've paid attention to, but his fingers were tapping nervously on the table as his eyes escaped from El to the door of your room. He'd been doing it every day since everything ended. He'd usually wait for you there, sitting with your siblings, but today you were taking especially long.

—Should we go and see if she's okay?

Steve nodded and got up from the bed as soon as Will asked, the other three doing the same and following him. Jonathan, Will, El and Steve stood outside of your room, you not noticing them thanks to you wearing your headphones and being with your back turned to the door as you were busy drawing something.

Steve and Jonathan shared a glimpse.

—Is she okay? —El asked. You never used headphones, your music was always rumbling through the house.

—I think she's going through grief —. Steve stated.

El and Will were confused. —What's that? —El asked Steve.

—It's when- It's when you try to process the loss of someone.

The girl nodded, understanding what Steve was saying. Will had a worried expression on his face while Jonathan looked at you with sad eyes.

—And what do we need to do? How can we help her?

Steve kept looking at you while Will looked at him, El waiting for an answer. Both, Steve and Jonathan knew there wasn't much to do for you. —Just be there for her —. Jonathan answered her for Steve.

DENIAL

"Hi, y/n." The four of them decided that it would be better if only one of them went to talk to you. El and Will voted for that person to be Steve while Jonathan voted for Will and Steve voted for himself. Steve tapped softly on your shoulder, making you turn around, startled because you weren't expecting anyone to find out it was Steve who interrupted your thoughts. You said hi back to him as he threw a glimpse at what you were drawing. Steve talked to you, you only responding him with quiet hums.

"Are you ok-?" He finally asked.

"I'm fine." You replied to Steve and immediately after, you put your headphones back on. He stood there, behind you, for a couple of seconds deciding what he should do; you definitely weren't feeling like talking nor spending time with him or with anyone, but he didn't want to leave you. That day he did leave, but that didn't happen ever again.

You spent most of the day drawing, writing, or reading, your headphones never leaving your ears. Steve brought you some of his tapes and he bought new ones for you of artists he knew you liked. El would sneak into your room and just watch you as you painted and sometimes Will would too to draw with you. You couldn't feel anything, not sadness, not happiness, as if there was a hole in your chest that absorbed every emotion not giving your brain enough time to process them before they were gone. You were numb to everything around you; seeing Steve walk into your room made you feel nothing, you couldn't be proud as you used to be when Will showed you one of his new works, and neither you could feel the sadness after losing your best friend. You just were certain that something like that couldn't have happened to him. If Will survived one week alone in the Upside Down, Eddie could too.

"We need to go back." You went to the kitchen where Steve was helping Hopper to cook. There were only the three of you in the house, Joyce and Jonathan were at work but it wouldn't be long before they got home, and El and Will were hanging out with Mike. Steve cleaned his hands and turned around to listen to you, Hopper watching out the pasta for him. "We need to go back to the Upside Down." Steve's body tensed, Hopper stopped mixing the pasta with the tomato sauce. "I've been thinking and- Will was 12 when he spent a whole week alone in the Upside Down and survived, and those bats bit you too and you are alive. Eddie-" Steve shook his head softly, pressing his lips together. "Y/n." Steve cut you off in the softest way he could. Hopper looked at the boy who just finished sharing with him what Dustin told him about Eddie. "We can figure out how to open the gate again. I'm- I'm not asking any of you to go, I'll do it. I'll go and find him."

Steve licked his lips. "That's not possible, y/n."

"You don't understand, I have to find him." Your hands shook, Steve noticing and approaching you. Hopper turned around to see where the boy was going. "I have to save him, Steve." You started crying, your hands covering your face as you used Steve's chest to hide. "He's there alone and he has to be very scared." You sobbed, him wrapping his hands around your body, his chin resting on the top of your head. Hopper approached you both and laid one of his hands on your head. "He hates being alone. He has to be so scared, Steve, please, we need to find him." As he said, Steve knew that wasn't possible and he let you know in the less hurtful way, by not answering you. You begged Steve to help you go back to the Upside Down, his heart breaking into million pieces knowing he couldn't do anything for you and holding back his tears as he heard your desperate sobs trying to get Eddie back.

ANGER

Steve was holding you between his arms as you tried to escape his grip. You had already broken some of the polaroids you had with Eddie on the wall above your desk, the pieces lying on the floor as you tried to go and rip the ones that were still stuck to the wall. Your breathing was fast, your eyes with tears of rage and your body shook violently against Steve's arms. You finally gave up, if it hadn't been because Steve was holding onto you, you would've fallen defeated to the floor. Your head down as you sobbed, your whole body finally relaxing as Steve could loose his arms around you a little bit, still holding you so you won't fall. He gave you a minute as you tried to catch your breath and his eyes were locked on the ripped pictures, Steve let out a sigh because he knew you were definitely gonna regret this later.

"He was a fucking coward. He let himself die because of this stupid town as if he owned this place anything when everyone, literally everyone, thinks he is a murderer. You know what he was, huh? A fucking idiot and he died like one." Steve had to hear things like this every day, knowing you didn't mean it and that it was your trauma talking, not you. After realizing what you just say, you would start crying while mumbling 'I didn't mean it', Steve caressing your back and reassuring you that he knew you didn't.

Joyce had to pick up the pieces of your broken drawings, you destroyed every piece of art you created during your denial stage; ripping the papers and making holes in your canvases. Steve asked her if he could keep them and Joyce gave him each of the small pieces of paper that she collected. Steve repaired your photos with Eddie, using glue and tape to get the pieces together. He kept them in his room, waiting patiently to return them to you. He managed to perfectly repair four of them: you and Eddie posing for the camera with your Hellfire t-shirts, a big smile on your face as Eddie leaned his head on your shoulder. You didn't play D&D but Eddie insisted on you having your own Hellfire t-shirt. Two of them were pictures of Eddie, him lying in a flower field when you both went to that picnic last spring, his hair tangling with the flowers, and another one of him playing his guitar in one of his concerts. The fourth one was taken by Eddie's tattoo artist when he let you use the tattoo pen to color the bats’ tattoo on his arm. You were focused and worried at the same time that you were hurting him, but Eddie was admiring you as you worked on his new tattoo, the shine in his eyes visible in the picture being evidence of what kind of friendship you two had. For the rest of the photos, Steve did the best he could, but some of the pieces were too small to get them together or to even identify what they were.

The relationship between Jonathan and Steve got worse if possible. They only worked hand to hand when it was about you, the rest of the day they'd ignore each other for good. Jonathan hated to see Steve every day at home but he never said anything because he knew that he did not only help you but Joyce and his family too. Jonathan didn't like Steve, not only because he was his girlfriend's ex but now also because he was trying to get with his little sister. It was probably you transmitting your bad mood to them, which they never blamed you for, what caused them almost getting into a fight in the living room. Apparently, Steve heard Jonathan telling that long-haired friend of his how, not so deep down, Steve was still the same person he was three years ago. Steve wouldn't have cared about what Jonathan had to say about him, but you being depressed and your brother assuming that Steve was using you made him snap. Hopper had to step in the middle of the two boys, and Joyce had to call them both out.

Your jaw hurt, it was clenched most of the day and in the palm of your hands were bruises of half-moons because of your nails digging into your skin when you closed your fists. Steve took care of them, asking Joyce for bandages to cover that part of your hand so when you sunk your nails there, you wouldn't hurt yourself. Sometimes you would puke from all the anger you were keeping inside, Jonathan with a hand on your forehead and the other one holding your hair, and Steve waiting with water and a wet towel to clean your face. Then the embarrassment and the frustration would hit you at the same time, leaving you sitting down on the floor of the bathroom for hours, with your back against the door and your head on your knees as you hugged them to your chest. Steve and Jonathan were sitting there with you, looking at you and then looking at each other, their eyes finally locking on the floor as they listened to you cry.

BARGAINING

What if you've never met Eddie? What if you never introduced him and Dustin? What if you had gone with him to the Upside Down instead of going with Max and Lucas to the Creel House? You coudn't save Max and you couldn't save Eddie either. You were so ashamed of yourself, you felt like a failiure. You should've gone to California with your family, if you wouldn't have stayed in Hawkins, Eddie would be alive now. You would've probably distanced yourselves and now he would be living his life, playing D&D and giving concerts. The anger mixed with the sadness and you finally felt like talking with someone about Eddie.

"I should've gone to the Upside Down." You were sitting in your bed, your knees against your chest. Steve was sitting on the floor of your room, his back against the wall right in front of your bed and reading one of the books you recommended him a long time ago. His eyes laid on you when you spoke. You didn't tell him but Steve guessed that those thoughts were going through your head. "It should've been me who-" Steve cut you off. "No. Don't say that." Steve left the book on the floor and went to sit next to you, his gaze trying to find yours but your eyes were lost. "It should have been none of us." Steve tried to comfort you. He threw one of his hands over your shoulder, making you lay your head on his chest. You didn't complain, letting Steve's soft-touch snuggle you to his chest. There was a moment of silence before Steve spoke again. "Dustin asks all the time about you." You sat up, your eyes wide open. You've been so self-centered in your pain that you didn't even think about Dustin.

Steve drove you to the Hawkins High Gym where he knew you would find Dustin. During the drive, he told you that Dustin spent his days there since the supposed earthquake hit Hawkins, helping the people affected by it and giving them comfort. You knew the boy would be doing a good job. "If you want to leave at any moment, just let me know." You nodded, thinking twice about going into the gym. Steve waited with you there until you felt ready, his hands on his pockets as he already saw his friend through the windows, handing bottles of water and limping as he walked. Everything was a mess when you decided to go inside the gym. Even though some time has passed, people were still hurt, homeless and they'd probably lost everything. You saw Robin from the distance, she was talking with that girl she fancied and when she saw you too, she greeted you with a small smile, glad to see you again. Steve was by your side when Dustin noticed you had walked into the gym, him giving you the soft push you needed in the lower part of your back to approach the boy.

Dustin was limping, he later told you it was because of the fall when he went back to the Upside Down. You sat in an empty bed so you both could talk. Steve left you alone with Dustin, a young woman telling him he could help by folding clothes. The boy told you he had been helping there, what happened to his leg, and that Mr. Munson had been asking for you every day. You felt guilty, for not having talked to Dustin before and for not having, at least, called Eddie's uncle. Dustin's voice broke when he talked about Eddie, trying to comfort you somehow by telling you Eddie died like a hero. You also felt guilty for that. Dustin was there when Eddie died, he literally saw him dying in front of his eyes, yet there he was, consoling you. He stopped talking when he saw Mr. Munson entering the gym. You and Dustin got up, the old man quickly lying his eyes on you. He approached you, asked how had you been. You tried to not answer him by just using monosyllables but you felt like if you said anything else you'd start crying. When Mr. Munson was about to leave, he started digging in the pocket of his jacket.

Eddie's uncle handed you the guitar pick Dustin gave him.

"Mr. Munson, I can't. He was your nephew-"

"And you were his person. I'm sure Eddie would want you to have it." The necklace with his pick fell into the palm of your hand, feeling heavier than it should as your eyes filled with tears, but you did not get to cry in front of them. You apologize to Eddie's uncle for not being by Eddie's side when the earthquake happened, for not having made him see that this stupid town was not worth giving his life for. At least you now knew that he was not alone when he died which supposed a strong relief for your soul as you watched Dustin break down when he told you. But you didn't shed a tear, not in front of them. In the middle of this, some asshole from the basketball team you assumed, painted a pentagram and some horns and a tail on Eddie's poster. Mr. Munson was already taking out of his backpack another one to change the ruined poster. "May I?" You asked him. The man looking at you with sadness in his eyes as he nodded.

You knew the poster won't help. That as much as the cops looked for Eddie, they would never find him. But at least, with that poster there, they won't forget about him.

Dustin continued crying, the kid sobbing as you both looked at Eddie's photo on the poster. All you've ever dream about and planned with him was gone. You bit your lower lip when the first tears finally rolled down your cheek. You placed your hand on Dustin's head getting him closer to you as the boy wrapped his hands around you too.

It was the first time after Eddie's death that you were hugging someone and not being hugged.

DEPRESSION

Steve, Joyce, and Jonathan changed their whole work schedule after planning it thoroughly for you to not be alone at any time. You cried of sadness for the first time since Eddie died and you didn't stop for a pretty long time, your eyes getting a permanent shade of red. Your sobs could be heard throughout the house at night, Jim's light sleep making him walk to your room to find you curled up in your bed, almost choking on your tears and snots. "Come on, y/n." Hopper helped you to sit up on your bed, you being barely capable of keeping that posture for yourself. Jim took a tissue from your nightstand and blew your nose, and using his thumbs he wiped your tears. "We're gonna try to sleep, okay?" He sat on your bed with his back against the wall and hugged you against his chest, and using his hands, he caressed your hair and kept you close. "I miss him." You said between sobs. Hopper let out a sigh, hating to see you go through this while his big hand still working on your hair. "I know you do."

Steve always tried to have small gestures with you like buying you your favorite flowers and placing them in a vase next to your bed where you spent most of the day, renting movies for you in case you felt like watching one which never happened, cleaning your room. He just wanted to show you that life was still worthy of living. You hardly ate, not even your favorite dish whetted your appetite anymore, you would just sit at the table with your family, staring at the food on your plate. The feeling of emptiness never left, it was always there like some type of shadow that followed you everywhere. Sometimes that shadow was nice to you, letting you cry to sleep in between Steve's arms playing in your mind the happiest memories you had with Eddie, like watching him win his first D&D game, when he let you braid his hair, the joy on his face as he watched you try to play his guitar... But other times the shadow was mean, fastening your breath to the point you felt dizzy, drying your mouth and throat and making you feel helpless, like not even Joyce soothing words were useful anymore, not even Jonathan sneaking into your room and grabbing your hand as you cried your eyes out and not even Steve hugging you at night could replace the void that Eddie left in you.

Life was meaningless without him.

You were gonna graduate together. You were gonna walk that stage and snatch that diploma together. You were gonna live together, go to the beachside. He was gonna walk you down the aisle by the time you married and he was going to be the godfather of your children. He was going to be the cool uncle, the one that would buy them ice cream on the sly before having dinner, the one buying them their first guitar and teaching them how to play D&D. He was going to be the person you would entrust your children in case something happened to you and your husband. And now all of that was gone. You couldn't even think of a life without him. Like his uncle said, you were his person and Eddie was yours.

ACCEPTANCE

You had your first shower last night, you brushed your teeth, and had a proper dinner. Your mom kissing your forehead and Hopper lying his hand on your shoulder, both of them letting you know how proud they were of you. Now you were in front of your wardrobe, the bright colors of your spring clothes looking especially annoying to you.

You chose the long skirt he always laughed at. It was pink and he said you looked like a cupcake and that it hurt his eyes because it was 'awfully pink'. You also picked a white t-shirt, putting it on and inside of the skirt, you looked in the mirror. Your chest going up and down at a fast pace as you could see him lucidly behind you, teasing you by playing with your skirt. It was fun how when you wore that outfit, you looked like completly polar opposites.

"My baby. You are so pretty." Joyce fixed your hair and grabbed both of your cheeks to kiss your forehead, Hopper behind her showing you a big warm smile, agreeing with what Joyce was saying. Steve got up from the sofa the moment you went out of your room, his eyes never shone so brightly like they did when he looked at you. He had this expression of amazement on his face, you caught him looking at you from up to down, which was pretty intimidating you might say, to finally let out a 'woah' that made your cheeks and ears grow hot. Steve approached you, wrapping one of his arm around your waist and kissing your cheek. "You look beautiful." You showed him a little smile. "You do to." You murmured and melting under his hand holding your waist. "Okay, lovebirds. If you need anything, call me. I want her back at 10 pm." Joyce nudged Hopper in his ribs, shaking her head at Steve. "Don't listen to him. Just take care of her, okay?" Steve nodded showing a comforting smile to your mom that made her know that you would be fine with him. You hugged Joyce and Jim one last time. "Shall we go?" You nodded. Steve took your hand as you walked out of your house to his car.

Steve drove out of Hawkins, to the next town where he knew there was a fair taking place and where he made a reservation in the fanciest restaurant he could afford. He took you on the most idyllic date ever as he promised when he confessed his feelings for you before going to fight Vecna. Every time that he made you laugh during dinner, that you showed him that timid smile of yours, that he saw you eating, something inside his chest tickled. After all you've been through together, he still got nervous when your fingers brushed as you walked, you finally making the move and grabbing his hand, your fingers intertwining as he caressed your hand with his thumb. The fair was the loudest place you've ever been in months, the music rumbled inside your chest. Steve got you a big pink cotton candy that you ate while you watched him trying to win a teddy bear for you. You giggled at his defeated face when he didn't get it, assuring him that he did great and awarding his efforts by giving him a piece of your cotton candy and a quick peck on his lips that made Steve almost fall to his knees.

"Wait, are you leaving?" You asked confused when Steve was about to turn around after walking you to the door of your house. "Mmm... yeah." Steve put his hands inside his jeans pockets. "I don't think I can sleep without you." You confessed hugging yourself.

"Well, you've got a big day coming tomorrow. We should not take the risk of you not sleeping." You giggled.

Your graduation day finally came. You woke up that day feeling empty again, angry because you thought that sensation was gone. You escaped to the bathroom to cry before Steve opened his eyes. This was supposed to be your day. Eddie's and yours. But now you had to do it for both of you. Not only getting that diploma but also learning how to live with the emptiness. You had a shower, the hot water burning your shoulders as you tried to stop crying, but the sound of the water hitting the bathtub made it so easy to hide your sobs. Your gown was too big and you didn't like the cap, as El said, it made you look like a gnome but Steve thought you looked cute. He drove you, El, and Will to the high school, it was almost offensive how they managed to plan a whole graduation after all of this. Your mom had tears in her eyes during the whole ceremony and so you did; Joyce was so proud of her little girl graduating and you were so sad about doing it alone. As the principal gave his speech, you noticed how many empty chairs were around you, one for each of the dead and disappeared students. One of those chairs was right next to you, your eyes staring at the empty seat for a couple of seconds. They ended up focusing on the director's words again to not think about who should be sitting there. "Look at you. That gown is so ridiculous." You could hear his laugh, you could also see him from the corner of your eyes sitting next to you. Your breathing quickened, he felt so real. "You're wearing my pick." Eddie pointed out. You did, the little dark piece hanging from your neck in contrast with the bright color of your gown. "I miss you." You murmured, your eyes getting glossy with tears. "I can't do this without you, Eddie." Your voice could not be heard not even by you, your lips were moving without emitting any sound. "Of course you can. You'll learn how to." Tears started rolling down your cheeks, you thanked you were wearing no makeup. "I miss you too." Eddie confessed when he didn't receive an answer. "We didn't get to say our goodbyes."

"You weren't supposed to leave me." You mumbled between sobs. You caught the attention of the girl that was sitting behind you, she asked you if you were okay and offered you a tissue. You nodded and denied her offer by showing her a little smile. "I didn't run, y/n. I didn't run that time." Eddie sounded proud of himself. You bit your lip down. "Look, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna snatch that diploma and your gonna live. For us. And I'm not leaving you, not now and not never. I'd be right next to you every day of your life, watching after you. You can consider me your guardian angel if you'd like but I don't think I'm getting any close to heaven." He let out a giggle. "You've been the greatest life partner I could've ever asked for. Please, live y/n." And then he disappeared. You turned your head to look at the chair next to you, empty again, when a gust of wind blew, it was soft, refreshing, it soothingly caressed your wet cheeks and it smelled like him.

You started doing what he said. The walk to get your diploma felt so long as you battled with your knees for them to not give up. Joyce and Hopper got up from their seats, their hands applauding at a scandalously fast pace, and Jonathan taking pictures of you with his best camera. You also could hear Steve's cheers from there, his hands on both sides of his mouth to project his voice louder. El and Will were also clapping their hands, big smiles on their faces. You took the guitar pick on your necklace and placed a kiss on the small object.

"This is for you, Eddie."

[andiwriteordie]

grieving for the living

(been thinking a lot about a mike wheeler death scare in season 5, so uh. here you go. a little ficlet for you!)

//

It all happens so quickly.

It all happens so quickly—faster than Will can even keep up with. 

“MIKE!”

The voice that tears itself from Will’s throat barely sounds like his own. It’s panicked. Full of desperation and shock and grief and horror. Tears blur his vision, making it even more difficult to see in the ever-present darkness that has invaded Hawkins. 

He stumbles to his feet, desperately reaching for his gun. It’s long since been out of bullets, and he knows it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Will knows it. But right now, his mind is a jumbled, panicked mess, and Will can only focus on one thing.

Getting to Mike. 

Distantly, Will thinks he yells Mike’s name again—a second, third, fourth time as he desperately tries to run towards his best friend. The others are fleeing, just as both Will and Mike had been before this happened. They’re outnumbered. There are too many monsters, and if they stay here any longer, it’s going to turn into even more of a massacre.

But Mike needs him.

“MIKE!” Will screams again. It’s drowned out by the snarls of the demodogs still swarming what used to be Dustin’s old neighborhood and by the sounds of his friends yelling at him to GO, RUN, GET OUT OF HERE—

But most of all, it’s drowned out by the sound of Mike Wheeler’s screams echoing above all the noise.

Suddenly, someone’s arms are wrapped around him, and Will stumbles, nearly falling over as he’s pulled backwards.

“We have to go!” a familiar voice—Jonathan—shouts. “Will, we have to go!” 

There’s desperation in his voice too, but not nearly as much as there is in Will’s. And Will struggles—God, he struggles against his brother’s ever-tightening grip.

“Let me go!” Will screams, and he screams and screams until his throat is raw and his voice is hoarse. “Let me go! I have to help him! Mike! MIKE!” 

He and Jonathan are the same height and same build. They have been for over two years but somehow, it doesn’t matter. Somehow, it’s like Will is just a little kid again, being pulled away from all the madness and all the horror by his big brother.

Jonathan’s embrace is warm and firm around his shoulders. He forces Will to run—pulling him in the opposite direction of Mike. He’s talking at the same time and saying, “He’s gone! He’s gone! We have to go! Will, come on!” but Will can barely process any of it.

It feels like his mind is separated from his body. His legs are moving—following his older brother to safety and stumbling past dozens of dead soldiers. But his mind feels frozen—still stuck, standing there on the street and watching the same image replay over and over again.

The screams quiet down eventually, and so do the snarls. The demodogs slink back to whatever pit of hell they crawled out of, leaving behind nothing but a complete massacre. Dead bodies litter the streets of Hawkins.

And among them is Mike Wheeler—Will’s first friend, his best friend, his… his person. The one person who has always made Will feel like it was okay to be different and to be himself, even after everything the Upside Down had subjected him to.

Mike is gone.

Mike is gone.

And so, as Jonathan carefully pulls Will into one of the Party’s trucks—stolen long ago at the beginning of the end—all Will can do is collapse into his brother’s arms and cry.

[wygolvillage]

Oooh shanoa, Alucard, and Charlotte for the ask game

shanoa

1. albus. forsaking everything and dooming himself, just for her. it makes me insane. all the little snippets we actually learn about their childhood are really cute too

2. laura. theres a reason the game implies theyre soul mates im just saying. laura is someone who is tenacious enough to try and break through her walls while shanoa broke through hers. theyve faced similar (metaphorical) demons. its like poetry it rhymes

3. daniela!!!! shanoas cool grandma!!! this girl whos faced so much hardship having someone whos so warm and caring to come back to!!! the promise that theyll go on a picnic together!!! aaaaaaaaaa

4. anna and serge (two for one special). shanoa helping out and entertaining the children is Extremely Cute and i think once she has her emotions its really Nice, to her, that there are kids who admire and look up to her. also not to go into something that probably deserves its own post but i think anna and serge are supposed to parallel the ecclesia siblings a bit, theres the line about albus telling serge to be strong enough to protect his sister, but theres also that thing about serge thinking of anna as a bit of a crybaby even though he really cares about her, which we also know is true of shanoa when she was of a similar age. so like i think its interesting bc its like. shanoa and the childhood she never really got to have. but the main point of this is that i think shanoa as a babysitter is fun

5. man i wish nikolai had more dialogue bc i think his being a foil to barlowe is really really interesting conceptually and i would LOVE to see how that interacts with shanoa and her whole healing process post-ooe (and after he says shanoa helped the villagers to heal too, see this is All Connected). but um yeah i think he cares for the people in his community like a family and shanoa too is becoming part of that family, which hilariously makes her an honorary belmont. idk i think theres a lot of potential here

alucard

1. maria, theyre besties. i always like dynamics that are like, a very stoic, guardrd person + someone whos more of a people person who is kind of an expert at cutting through the bullshit and getting to actually know them. i think she gets him

2. graaaant the angst potential is through the roof. a conflict of ones own humanity and the monstrous when you can only see the monstrous in yourself and the human in your counterpart 😂😂😂 "like" if you relate!!!

3. richter theyre narrative foils. something something breaking of the cycle

4. soma... dadson and sondad... "youre not a god or a demon youre only human". "hes looking out for you because you have the same dark powers". screams forever.

5. yoko theyre literally besties

charlotte

1. jonathan of courseeee theyre castlevanias ultimate duo. best friends for LIFE and they have such a fun dynamic. i lovethe differences in how they handle their emotions and how that sometimes ends up clashing (admittedly i read into this more after learning that in the original japanese script she knew john before he died, which blew my mind)- charlotte wants to Talk About It whereas jonathan deeply wants to avoid having to think too hard about those complex feelings. they have so much to work with and their interactions are always interesting and/or entertaining.

2. eric, i wish they got more interactions but i think theres something to the idea of charlotte being the "successor" to the role eric played to his morris sidekick. and whether or not theyll succeed where they failed while hes trapped in the place where he lost everything. charlotte being the one to save his daughters also plays into this. rotating this in my mind

3. john. i think charlotte having known john really does add a whole dimension to the narrative. portrait is, above all else, about putting old ghosts to rest, and sometimes those ghosts are grief, and god damn does john haunt the narrative. im just sayig words at this point but you know what i mean.

4. i think her and the twins should be besties, stella especially. i think maybe she would see a bit of herself in stellas formality and insistence on being the "older sister" tbh, like this desire to be seen as capable and mature while underneath the surface everything is Bad and Confusing and Scary. i think they write letters to each other frequently after the events of por

5. (grimoire of souls-verse, headcanon) LET!!! CHARLOTTE!!! AND!!! ALBUS!!! GEEK OUT TOGETHER!!!! OVER COMPLICATED MAGICAL SCIENCES!!!! i wish i couldve seen more interactions between them

[76historylover]

this edit. this!! edit!! hello!! it's so good. it's so heartfelt, such a love letter to jjba. it made me cry numerous times out of joy, grief, love, passion and compassion (i had to pause the video multiple times to say compliments such as "that scene fit those lyrics so well!" or "aAAAGH IT'S SO GOOD!", and then proceeded to cry at characters i knew). it featured clips from parts 1-6, pivotal moments in the series with some of our favorite characters. it reminds me of the journey they all went on, how it started and how it ended. how jolyne finally could be free of her familial responsibilities. how jonathan just wanted to protect his loved ones from dio the usurper. how jotaro went to egypt for his mom, holly. how joseph's influence and bravery stretched from parts 2-5. how giorno was dio's son with jonathan's body, yet he wanted to create a better world for everyone around him. how josuke wanted to protect his friends and his town. how they all sprung into action "in the name of love". big fucking kudos to you, my friend. it's not often when an edit for an anime can make me cry as much as this one did. jojo's bizarre adventure is so near and dear to my heart, it's helped me out so much with processing and dealing through my feelings/scary memories. it's been a comfort, a source of joy/excitement/passion(e) for me and so many others. i can relate to the characters so much- although they have powers like hamon or stands, they are still human and show all sides of humanity. thank you, genuinely, for this video.

yess if i go from 1080dp to 720 i can upload jjba in the name of love amv directly hi

[aspoonfuloffiction]

So what did you think of the Gregory and Anthony scene?

Did you like Anthony’s scene with Gregory?

GREG AND ANTHONY!!!!!!!! HOW CUTE WAS THAT?😻😻👶

Well…I liked it.

If liked is having to rewind a single scene 9 times because you couldn’t stop crying. Then yes I suppose you could say I liked it.

I’m kidding…no you were all right I absolutely loved this scene. I can’t stop thinking about I have it saved on my phone. It is genuinely my favorite scene of the show so far. My last rewatch of it had me in tears about 3/4 of the ways through. So I’m improving!

A lot of gushing and mushiness under the cut

A little context—my favorite part of the Bridgerton books is the family. The romances are fun but trope heavy and nothing you probably haven’t read before. But to me what sets Julia Quinn apart from her contemporaries is the focus on the family and how they love each other. And in turn for the Bridgertons, how the love of their family allows them to love another person.

This relationship between Anthony and Gregory in the books is immensely special to me personally because in a lot of ways its always reminded me of my relationship with my baby brother. More parent than siblings, two polar opposite relationships with our parents, and a sizable age gap- that makes it hard to always understand each other but never not love each other. And so in OTWTTW when Gregory tells Violet, “Anthony had been a good father to me” that had always hit me on a personal level.

This scene in the context of the show largely exists as turning point in Anthony’s healing process. You get this sense that Anthony has never really talked about Edmund to anyone before this. And that he wouldn’t have if it wasn’t Gregory (maybe Hyacinth but I think that conversation would be vastly different).

When Edmund died, Gregory was baby he has no working memory of him. While Anthony has so many he feels like his drowning in it. But in this scene for the first time it feels like Anthony has considered what Edmund’s loss means for someone like Gregory who will never know his father.

And thats what get’s Anthony to finally talk about him. Something he so desperately needed to do. He couldn’t talk about really with Kate in the library, or contribute with Violet earlier in the episode, but in this moment he can finally talk about it. Because this is how Anthony gets to keep Edmund alive. Through his relationships with his family.

Gregory forces Anthony to deal with his grief in a way no else could have. And I think that’s beautiful.

And if you don’t believe me listen to Jonathan Bailey, who apparently pitched this scene talk about it. (seriously though I owe this man flowers)

Also if we ever see an adaptation of Gregory’s story this is important scene for him too.

Gregory is, in general, a character I just find really endearing. He really is unique amongst his brothers for having learned how not to be an asshole without needing the love of a woman first. And I love his relationships with his family. In the books Gregory talks about Anthony, the way Anthony talks about Edmund. You get this sense that there is no one Gregory wants to be more than Anthony. Unlike Benedict and Colin, in his book Gregory never feels like his brother casts too big a shadow.

However, because of the scope and nature of a novel we don’t see the development of this relationship until book 8. Which is a shame.

But in the event of a season 8 (in 10 years time maybe geez could you imagine) this scene helps us understand the motivations of 26 year old Gregory. How he gets to a place where he considers Anthony “the very best of brothers” and the standard that he wants for his life.

And if we never get a season 8 (I will always have the one I have extensively planned out in my head—really guys…its a lot) I am so glad that we got to see this relationship beforehand.

[share-the-damn-bed]

jonathan is going to die in s5 ep 4 for the sake of will's story line. it will be the spark for the rest of will's story in the last 4 episodes. i am absolutely convinced.

Interesting! There's a lot to unpack here.

Let's just assume Jonathan does die in season 5. I'm curious why you think this will happen in episode 4. Recalling from memory, all character deaths (named, secondary or main characters) have died within the first 2 or the last 2 episodes. This isn't to say it's not possible, it just hasn't been done before. The closest things that have happened midseason are close calls (Max in season 4) and misdirections (Will's body in season 1).

I really don't think they're going to the kill him at all, but if they did, it would make the most sense for it to happen closer to the end of the season. The problem with thinking that it would spur on Will's story is that Jonthan's death wouldn't just affect Will, it would majorly (hopefully...) affect Joyce and Nancy as well and I don't think killing a main character and having other main characters struck with grief in the middle of the season makes for the best use of screen time. In a show where each season only spans approximately one week and days can span episodes, having a main character who is connected to so many other main characters die would eat up a huge chunk of the season (as they process their grief in a realistic way) OR, if they brush over it quickly, it would feel cheap and do a disservice to the character. Imagine Jonathan does die in episode 4 of season 5 and Nancy's like "Oh no, how sad! Anyways back to my plan..." I would throw my TV off my balcony. So no, I don't think it would happen in the middle of the season.

I also don't think it would happen at the start of the season. One thing I really liked about season 4 is that it set up a great Jonathan storyline that remains unfinished. Seriously, I love the golf scene because it was the first Jonathan-focused scene in Stranger Things since season 1. I have a hard time believing the writers set up the whole "Jonathan is torn between his wants and his responsibilities" plot to kill him in the first few episodes of the new season. It's a good plot and they need to explore it! Also, it's one of the few unresolved threads from ST4.

This leaves killing him in the last few episodes. This is the most likely time they would kill him, but I still don't think this would happen. It's the final season and things should be winding down, not revving up. Jonathan's death would impact multiple main characters (which is a point toward killing him) but I still don't see the show wanting to end on a low note. I truly believe that we're going to get a happy or bittersweet ending and Jonathan's death would bring a weighted sadness beyond bittersweet.

Going back to the idea that death will spur the characters in season 5, I agree with this! I just think it has already happened and that Max's "death" is going to be a huge motivator and plot point in season 5 especially for El and the party. I also think Eddie's death is going to take a toll on Dustin's character in season 5. I don't believe adding in a third death as a motivator in the middle of season 5 is necessary or good idea.

What if instead of Jonathan dying, Will's relationship with Jonathan helps him overcome whatever hold Vecna has on him?

In season 4, Will has a line that I think foreshadows the plan for season 5: he tells El (after her diorama is destroyed) that they'll fix it together. I think the power of love in all of its many forms will be the biggest defense against Vecna in season 5 and will ultimately be how our heroes overcome the Upside Down.

[tirednerd2012]

Joyce being the one to ‘die’ in the mall, leaving Hopper behind with the kids. Jonathan and Will are gutted, of course. The brothers clinging to each other and Jonathan reassuring him that he won’t let them be separated or taken by Lonnie. Hopper hears this and is quick to assure them they won’t, he’s going to be there for them. No matter what it takes.

El trying to be there for her siblings and process her own grief of losing a mother she finally had. But it’s hard when she barely understands how she feels, and seeing what the grief does to them.

Jonathan would still probably bottle everything up and become a shell of who he was before. Trying to be everything to his siblings and Hopper. Falling back into old routine of being the second parent even though he really doesn’t have to.

I’m not sure if theyd move to cali still or not. But the reunion of Joyce and her kids would be sweet and tear filled

Dude. This one hurt me more than anything else ever sent to me lol, but we all know I love angst, so here we go:

Hopper gets to the kids and Jonathan knows immediately by looking at him that something happened. Will stays by his side anyway because they just faced a giant monster and Jonathan needs to keep him close otherwise he's going to have an actual meltdown. He's angry at first. Jonathan screams for the first time ever, demanding to know what happened, screaming at Murray and Hopper that he trusted them with his mom. Meanwhile Will is standing there, stunned. The world stopped moving and he just watches his brother go off, completely gutted.

El is processing herself. Joyce loved her. She cared for her and she was gone. She wants to be sad but all she can do is look at the two boys whose worlds just fell apart. The party is crying together, and even Steve looks at Jonathan with pain as he continues to scream over and over again to Hopper "I trusted you! You were supposed to keep her safe!"

Jonathan yells and cries, Nancy trying to comfort him but nothing can help because his mom is gone. And then he looks at Will standing there, tears silently pouring down his face because he's just in shock. And Jonathan does what he does best, he pushes his emotions aside because his little brother needs him. He walks over to Will, pulling him into him and promising that nothing is going to separate them and neither of them are going back to Lonnie. They'll run away and live in the car before Jonathan lets someone take Will from him. Hopper hears that and tells him they won't have to, they can stay with him and El. Jonathan is hesitant, but he doesn't have much of a choice. Hopper himself is heartbroken by the loss of Joyce, but he knows he has to be there for her kids.

They do end up going to California to get away, taking Owens' advice. Jonathan is spiraling into a horrible depression and he and Will stick together. El and Will grow close, but Will comes to Jonathan at least once a week in tears because he dreamed about their mom. He becomes insanely protective of the twins. Hopper is worried about him, but he can't really father Jonathan, the kid grew up without a father too long to need him. He just tries to be there when he can.

He still befriends Argyle and that helps, but one day a senior is picking on Will and El and brings up their dead mom and grabs Will's arm when he tries to walk away, only for Jonathan to beat the absolute shit out of the guy. He has so much built up rage that it takes Argyle and Will to pull him off the guy and El just hugs him, restraining him because she knows he'd never hurt her.

Hopper gets the letter the same day Jonathan's suspended. He tells the kids he needs to go on a trip with Murray to handle something, but Jonathan knows something's up. When he confronts Hopper, Hopper just tells him he needs to stay here and keep the twins safe. So he does. Of course everything else happens as it does, but instead of Jonathan being the one outside the cabin in Hawkins, it's El and Nancy. Jonathan is comforting Will inside, as they process what's going on and once again, Jonathan promises Will he's not going to be alone, that nothing is going to take them from each other. They hear El scream and run out only to see Joyce stepping out of the car.

They both call out to her and run and hug her. She starts crying the moment her boys are in her arms again and Jonathan practically lifts her off the ground in the hug. They both cry as she hugs and kisses them, apologizing for being gone so long, and they stay like that for awhile, but no one dares to interrupt.

[background-character-341]

Okay, so I've seen a few posts recently about how Nancy doesn't care about Mike. This has bothered me ever since it started, and I think I've finally figured out why: I relate way too hard to Nancy right now. Their relationship actually reminds me a lot of the relationship between me and my sister.

Here's the thing. I don't interact with my sister if I can help it. It's sad but it's true; that's just the way we've structured our lives. We live in the same house and eat meals together, but that's pretty much where our interactions stop. We've fully separated ourselves from each other.

Nancy and Mike's main issue right now is communication. They don't know how to talk to each other, and the few times that they do try to have a conversation, it's usually an argument. We see this all the time in season 1 when they are having dinner, but we also see this in season 3, when she is telling him that he should respect El's wishes and ends up inadvertently invalidating his feelings.

Nancy doesn't know how to talk to Mike, and I think that a lot of that has to do with their parents' relationship. Karen and Ted clearly don't talk much to each other. They've built these walls around themselves to protect them from this loveless marriage. And without any good examples of healthy communication, Nancy and Mike have also learned to build these walls around themselves. We know this because we've see the way these walls affect their other relationships.

In Mike's case, his relationship with El is defined by these walls, and he uses her as a way of keeping them up. His relationship with Will is similar, though more to the extent that he's the only person who Mike lets them down around. We also see this in the way he represses his feelings for Will. He also has walls around his feelings to hide them from himself.

Nancy is in a similar boat. Her relationship with Steve was defined by the way she repressed her feelings, it was a shield that she used against her grief for Barb. With Jonathan she could let her walls down. But Nancy is still repressing her grief for Barb. We see that with her Vecna vision in season 4. She hasn't fully processed this, and she's hiding these feelings from herself, just like Mike is with his feelings for Will.

Nancy and Mike are very similar characters. They are both selfless and caring and incredibly smart. And they are both stubborn and so very bad at processing their feelings. They've both built walls around themselves so that they don't have to acknowledge that they're hurting. And when you've got these two people with walls and no basis for healthy communication, you get this strained relationship that's hurting them both. You get two people who love each other very much, but are worlds apart.

I think there's some merit to the idea that Nancy is trying to be everybody else's big sister. She doesn't know how to do that for Mike, so she tries to do it for his friends, because they're easier to talk to. They don't have walls that she needs to break down. They don't have a relationship with her that was built on a foundation of repressed feelings and antagonism.

We see Nancy try to reach out to Mike at the end of season 1. She tells him no more secrets and then immediately lies to her about her feelings for Jonathan. And regardless of whether you believe that Mike is bi or gay, it's clear that his response to her question about El is supposed to be a direct parallel to that. Neither of them are ready to keep that promise yet. Neither of them are ready to let down those walls and let the other in.

But that season 1 conversation gives me hope for them. Because the Duffers have shown us time and again that they don't throw in lines for shits and giggles. They don't just forget details from earlier seasons. The same people who gave us blue meets yellow in the west, who gave us numerous callbacks to season 2 in season 4, who paralleled Jonathan's talk with Will to Karen's talk with Mike, didn't just forget an important character moment from the first season. The same show that has shown us it knows how to write siblings, knows how to write friends, and is in the process of writing one of the greatest queer love stories we have ever seen, didn't just abandon this sibling relationship.

I fully believe that Mike is going to go missing next season somehow. And yes this will be great for us bylers who get to see Will looking for Mike with the same intensity that Mike looked for Will. But it will also force Nancy to confront her love for Mike as well as her trauma with Barb. And the next time they see each other they will finally be ready to tear down those walls and truly be vulnerable with each other. They'll finally keep their promise.

The beginning of season 4 is a small moment as far as their ineractions go. It's short and rushed and they are both annoyed at each other. And for me, it's also painfully real. Their relationship isn't bad writing, or Nancy not caring about Mike. It's a tragedy. Another casualty of the Wheeler trauma.