#i dont believe in too in depth answers

[cult-of-the-eye]

Who's your #1 favorite TMA character and why?

Oh god I love them all but I'm gonna have to say that Jonathan Sims has GRIPPED ME. That sad little man fills my thoughts constantly.

It's one of my biggest fears that if I'm ever even slightly unlikeable then I'll be unlovable but he's prickly and makes bad decisions and is hell bent on doing stuff on his own and yeah I'm also known to be a maker of bad decisions and not great with people and hugely stubborn and would rather die than ask for help so it's nice to see that when it comes to it, we're both loveable including those parts and not regardless.

He's also dorky and makes terrible jokes and is long suffering and literally same. I love this man.

It sounds weird to be like yeah eldritch antichrist is literally me but I think it's the writing as well that's made so many people just latch on to Jon cause he's just so human, everyone makes bad decisions and can be stubborn and prickly sometimes and so we all see parts of ourselves in all the characters really but especially Jon. He was put in a terrible situation and he reacted like any person would. Just like we do in our terrible situations.

I've got a soft spot for Martin as well because some of my favourite people are very much like him, they just give and give and I feel protective over him like I feel for them. I've also been Martin, just like we've all been him at points of our lives. Also like he's Martin he's amazing he makes tea and likes cows and writes shitty poetry and cares so much!! Who wouldn't like him?? (We also share some trauma so there's that as well lol)

I also really like Tim for sort of similar reasons. I can relate to his reaction to a horrible situation being This Is Unfair and making sure everyone knows that It is Not Right and It Sucks. Cause he's right to do so and it's an understandable reaction even if it's not the prettiest. And I fucking love ugly and realistic depictions of trauma and grief. He thinks he's the only sane one there, the only one willing to see the truth of the situation and that makes him miserable and I understand his rage. He's never properly processed any of his grief cause he's stuck in his rage and it's painfully understandable but also his downfall and I think that's the tragedy of his storyline. He's also a bomb ass bisexual manwhore whom I love dearly.

So yeah, I hope that answered your question!! Thanks for asking it!!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Hey, can you explain to me like I’m 12 what Vivzie did irl? I’ve seen a lot of allegations and refutations to said allegations that make me confused as to what is actually happening or what ppl are angry at since I’m not really in either hh or helluva boss fandoms? Sorry if this is weird or annoying and feel free not to answer if you don’t want to

Hello! I put a lot of things vivzie has done in my critical posts so you can look at my long character post analysis things if you want more in depth things, but let me try to make this as digestible as possible. And of course I can’t list everything theres way too much but I’ll do what I can.

1. Defended her story board artist (Raph) with a rape fetish who uses Angel Dust to fuel said rape fetish. If you do not believe me (anyone reading this) Raph also made a fan animation to the song Valentino which was ORIGINALLY a somg about Vox being abused as well as Angel. Raph removed the aspect of Vox being abused and changed it to where Vox jerks off to Angel getting raped. This is still the same person Vivzie actively considers a friend a wonderful employee. And before anyone says it. No. “They’re coping” isn’t an excuse.

2. Vivzie retweets Angel x Valentino fanart

3. Vivzie was discovered to have a public YouTube playlist labeled “favorites” that included videos that involved women being sexually assaulted. Whether these were skits or real, I dont care and its disgusting either way.

4. Drew a Hitler “Sausage Party” OC. This was a while ago but worth mentioning

5. Does not pay her employees fairly.

6. Shit talks other indie artists and show runners constantly.

7. Demonising “voodoo” (vodou) by making it a “scary evil” magic Alastor used and then tried to excuse it by saying Alastor is black.

There’s much more competent people with screenshots and such on here if you want to look these up for more information! Id suggest staying out and away from hh/hb if possible so seems like you’re doing well. Hopefully this helps!

[dixons-sunshine]

i i love your brazilian reader so much😭😭 we dont really have that kind of representation😔 maybe could you write something with her and young daryl? maybe she could be an exchange student and got friends with daryl and is teaching him how to make brazilian food(and desserts too)? that would be adorable!! i love your writtings soo much💕

Run Away With You | Daryl Dixon x Young!Brazilian!Fem!Reader

Summary: Meeting Daryl Dixon was one of the best things to ever happen to you. He was introverted and shy, but with you, he was free to be himself. While preparing one of your favourite desserts, you suggest something to Daryl.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: Pre apocalypse.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse.

Word count: 839.

A/n: I wrote this at midnight while almost falling asleep, but I hope you like this! And thank you, @v1rtualv4mp, so much for helping me with the translations! However, some phrases are from Google translate and the recipe for the dessert in this was found from Google, so please feel free to correct me regarding any mistakes!

And with this fic done and my inbox cleared out, I can now officially say that requests are reopened! Feel free to send them in!

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

“Should I fill it all the way up or nah?” Daryl questioned you, holding the tray in his hands.

You shifted your attention from the stove to him. “No, only three fourths of the way. That's what my mom taught me.”

Daryl nodded and followed your instructions, carefully pouring the custard into the dough-filled muffin cups. Afterwards he handed the muffin tray to you, carefully observing as you placed the tray in the preheated oven.

Daryl leaned back against the counter. “How long do we need to bake it fer?” he questioned, motioning towards the oven.

You joined him against the counter, leaning your head against his shoulder. Daryl stiffened momentarily before relaxing, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer into his side. He pressed a soft, tender kiss against your temple, smiling softly when you let out a small giggle.

“For about one and a half hours,” you answered him, checking the time on your wristwatch. “So we have to take it out at about four-thirty. Then we let it cool down for ten minutes and then we have ourselves some delicious Pastéis De Nata.”

Daryl hummed. “Portuguese Custard tart?”

You rolled your eyes at him, sending a playful smile up at him. “Sure, if you want to be a falante de inglês chato,” you joked, earning a faint, playful jab to your side, making you laugh. “Hey! Do you even know what I said?”

“Nope,” Daryl replied, shaking his head with a faint smile on his face. “But I do know tha' it probably wasn't a compliment.”

“You're right about that,” you laughed and nodded, nuzzling yourself snuggly against his side. However, you withdrew from his hold when he flinched in pain, sending him a concerned look. “What's wrong, amor?”

Daryl shook his head. “Nothin'. Jus' my father who got a bit carried away last nigh'. Nothin' I can't handle.”

Your heart sank to the depths of your stomach at his revelation. You took his hand in yours and interlaced your fingers, squeezing his hand reassuringly. However, you knew that Daryl hated addressing his home life out loud, so you opted to try and cheer him up.

“You know, we could run away together.”

Daryl raised his eyebrows in surprise, an amused smile gracing his beautiful features. “Yeah?” he asked, looking into your eyes. “And where would we even go?”

“Brazil,” you answered instantly, shrugging your shoulders. “I might be biased, but I do believe that it's one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I just know you'd love it.”

Daryl thought it over for a moment, before letting out an approving hum. “Well, let's say I agree to run away with ya to Brazil. What would we even do?”

“A gente poderia ir no Carnaval, e talvez visitar meus avós,” you mumbled to yourself, soothingly rubbing your thumb over your boyfriend's knuckles. You giggled at the confused look he gave you. “It doesn't matter what I said. We could do anything you want, gatinho. Just name it and I'd make it happen.”

“I've always wanted to go check out what Brazilians do during that festival ya keep ravin' 'bout,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders. “So we could start with tha'?”

You smiled and nodded. “Anything you want, amor. We'd have to wait for Carnaval to start in a couple of months, but we could make it happen.”

Daryl smiled. “Have I ever told ya tha' I love ya?”

“You have,” you nodded, stepping into Daryl's arms and peering up at him. “And I do, too. Eu te amo tanto.”

You leaned in and kissed Daryl on the lips, savouring the taste of him. However, the moment was short-lived, because the power soon went out, causing you and Daryl to look at each other in confusion.

“Well,” Daryl started, looking towards the oven. “Guess tha's gon' take longer to get ready.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Seriously? That's your concern?”

“Wha' can I say?” Daryl mused, sending you a playful smile. “I was really lookin' forward to tha' custard tart. Would've packed some fer our journey to Brazil.”

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

Translations:

falante de inglês chato: boring English speaker.

amor: love

A gente poderia ir no Carnaval, e talvez visitar meus avós: We could participate in the Carnaval, and maybe go visit my grandparents.

Eu te amo tanto: I love you so much.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

hello hi!!! grfhvhghr i am in love with your artwork so much you cant believe-- i wanna ask if you have any tips on how you lineart and colourpick?? no pressure to answer tho, have a great day/night!! again, love your art <33

hi!! thank you for your kind words!! since i got asked about these a lot, im answering this for all the other ask asking about lineart and colour tips too! You can see some previous post here.

also i could only give out tips that work for my drawing style - which is heavy lineart / colours pop up the line (believe it or not it's American comic book style. ppl cant understand why my art doesnt really look like usual anime/ Asian webtoon style, even though it is still clearly anime / Asian webtoon style, but when i told them it's because im drawing these by studying American comics, no one believes it either lmao.

i do study but i do my own things too, so most of my art inspo is really unexpected to ppl, but they r really where i learn things from, cuz i dont even go to art school TT_TT).

Changing the brush size will help you achieve thick/thin lines better without having to put pressure on your wrists. Keep your hold relaxed and let bigger brush size give you the thick strokes.

I like messy sketch, to me the sketch is just an outline shape to fill details in when i do the line, it also gives more freedom to wriggle as i draw! cuz i dont really plan out everything from the start, just wing it as i go, so a lot of my work is actually very spontaneous.

that leads to this point: when you do the lineart you should start deciding which colour style you want from it to adjust the details amount. the ink shadow blocks in my art aren't there randomly, i adjust them to best complement the shape language and colours.

for piece where i want the line/shadow to...idk hit (?), the colours are almost flat with textured brush adding depth to them, so the inking is the shading, thus there are more details in the lineart / ink blocks.

for the video above and piece like this where i want the colours to be clear and pop out, the use of ink blocks are minimized and i do the shading during colouring process. but! the ink blocks can still make some places pop very nicely! just use in moderation!

when doing the base it's good to keep the colour on the left side of the colour wheel (low saturation), but as you do shading and lighting, try to spread out evenly so it won't look washed out.

toggle around with hue and saturation slider as you go! the key is always adjusting! you're making hundreds of decisions at once, being conscious of your choice in why a line or a colour should be in a certain way will help improve your process a lot! (i think you can tell which art i turned off my brain and just draw for stress relief ........ which is also a valid way to draw and sometimes the result might surprise you! but for more serious stuffs i try to be aware of most of the move i make. it's problem solving, yeah?)

i find that one way to keep your art from appearing too...yellow in the end (which is sth that haunted my ass for a long while) is always aim for cold tone, so if you accidentally make it warm either way in the end it won't be too warm (and yellow :cry:)

well that's all the stuffs i can think on top of my head. sorry i can't give more advice on colour picking cuz it's sth i don't really know how to give advice on???? i think my colours now are still pretty lame haha........ if there are still any questions i'd gladly answer within my ability, though im very slow to answer ask ( i do read and be happy at all of them tho!)

[sleepanonymous]

Im actually so curious now on what you mean by early lore being a mess/the reasons why not being safe to get into. Is there anything you can safely say? Guess im nosy about drama lol go ahead and delete this if you dont feel comfortable answering i totally understand

Sorry it took so long to answer this ask, Anon. So 😅 the thing is I’m always scared I’ll mess up someone’s perception of Sleep Token’s lore when I mention this. I’ve talked about it a couple times, I think? Just not in depth. I’ve personally always been more interested in the irl lore versus the mythological lore behind Sleep Token, but I know it’s a huge factor in a lot of fan’s enjoyment. Keep Reading cut for their mental wellbeing.

The concept of the deity Sleep and the lore surrounding the band was a collaborative effort between Vessel, II, and who I call the band’s old “manager.” Not exactly sure what his official title would have been. He attempted to take full credit for the band’s early lore and their costumes/aesthetic in a Reddit post a while back. I used to think he was actually the one giving the interview in the “All Good In the Hood” article for Sundowning, but the supposed timelines don’t add up anymore, and I believe the band parted with the original manager around 2017 after the Two EP was released and Basick lost the band. That’s another rabbit hole, actually, because I've heard everything from Sleep Token was dropped to Basick went under (which they haven’t? They still have signed artists?).

I’ve always taken what the manager has said with a good helping of salt (I say as I vaguely gesture to the “garden variety, self-important dickhead” insult and him stating Vessel isn’t a real metalhead), but I don’t not believe that he had anything to do with the lore or the band’s formation from 2015-2017, and I also strongly believe the anonymity aspect came from him as well. TBH I’d love to get more facts about the formation of Sleep Token because I have a million questions but I highly doubt any of it will come to light, and even if it does it’ll be long after the band has split up.

Anyways! Back to the Vessel’s name is not technically Vessel part of this post: Vessel is essentially the moniker that fans gave him (or literally Him). It was established that the band members were “vessels” for the deity Sleep, and were numbered one through four via roman numerals. The idea is they have no identities, no personalities, and their only purpose is to serve Sleep (play music). You can see that aspect in older rituals, where III and the original IV would stand still on stage until their cues to play their guitars. Fans began referring to Vessel as such because, I’m assuming, it was too confusing for him not to have a name and to only use the pronoun Him.

[yellowymellon]

my crippling obsession with Elio is back at it again so here's some takes and theories

i think elio's main strength isnt his curse/blessing to see the future but his monster ability to analyze the situation accordingly and read people's emotions/thoughts. Since his ability only allows him to see the multiple possibilities of the future, that means he still has to maneuver his human resources optimally on his own.

He seems to be great at mind games, knows how to read people's hearts as sam said, and appears to be a pragmatist who doesn't mind sacrifice. i mean we're talking abt the guy who foresaw the crisis of the luofu long before the matrix could ever and did nothing, the one who orchestrated the fall of Jepella Brotherhood so that the Annihilation Gang succeeds it only for them to fall too and allow acheron into penacony, the one who foresaw sunday's plan and only acted last minute. all because the time had to be right.

and ofc i'm going to mention his concept art, i know it was a deal breaker for many but personally? I LOVE IT. A master manipulator hiding behind high trusting features and his young age? i know this point of view goes both ways but i think him being young (by anime logic he looks YA to me) actually adds more depth. Elio has always been fascinating exactly because he's mysterious, there's many possibilities to what he's truly like. A boy who witnessed the demise of the universe in nearly every possibility, doomed by fate yet fights against it. does he curse his powers? does he feel obliged to go through all this? or does he latch into that tiny hope he saw? does he not care for the innocent or is he like kevin who realized sacrifice is a must?

i also initially expected him to be an older man but im used to young anime prodigies lol if anything him being younger sets him for doom and tragedy.

Aside from his physical appearance, i think we all agree that Elio is the black cat, but lemme cook here....im 100% sure (would be funny if im wrong) that Elio doesnt physically move from his HQ. why? cuz they always avoid mentioning his appearance. not when he recruited kafka nor with SW, the only 2 so far that elio personally recruited.

"A man, a woman, a metal humanoid, and..."

"There is a chance she will stop to investigate the can. Then, take the chance to throw this ball at her feet. I will take over and converse with her from there. "

in kafka's case it's implied that elio would converse with her through the ball, and it also further implies that elio works with 'contractors' who arent part of the SH, some speculate the rest of the umbrellas on kafka's splashart might be them.

also, this is too funny to pass so ill put it here :

"There is also a chance that Kafka will ignore the can. In that case, just throw the ball away. You will die, but death will come for everyone. As for the future that you yearn for - I will realize it."

heck i even believe the rest of SH dont know what elio looks like. it makes sense that elio would be cautious and hide his identity, he even uses another alias. this world has factions that can manipulate and access memories after all.

About his powers...idk why there's this misconception in the fandom? but we can simply conclude from kafka who's the second in command and the only other person to swear loyalty to elio that both of them do not believe in a predetermined fate.

actually nvm i know where the confusion comes from, it's the script. how the script works is still a mystery but in kafka's companion question she answers by a no (truth) to whether fate is predetermined, that alone is the answer to elio's belief. if else why would he waste his time trying to change a fate that cannot be altered? So he's lying to his companions now? kafka says his powers see the many possibilities of choices that merge to make the present. i dont think the script is part of his powers but just his compiled knowledge of the actions ppl will take, and many of those choices and actions converge to create the same result, therefore there's a fate that can't be escaped and that is the script, and that's the only destiny that exists.

now in the SU, there's an interesting occurrence :

Fuli adresses us as Elio even though we are akivili in the SU, this lead to theories abt elio being akivili but i'd beg to differ. fuli also addresses us as nanook. so are we saying nanook is akivili and elio? i think this links fuli with elio more than anything and here's how :

We know that elio is trying to kill nanook, and to that he created TB with the help of an unknown aeon. Elio's powers might seem like they're a gift from terminus, the aeon of finality, elio could have the identity of an omen vanguard, but his design just like sunday's has some Order elements, making him a potential follower of the order. Fuli being on Elio's side makes sense. there's no way elio can know of ppl's existances in this very vast universe solely from watching intertwined fates. SW only caught his attention after she proved herself against screwllum, meaning he isnt able to know of everyone. and his ability doesnt allow him to peak to the past, so he cannot possibly be aware of everyone's deep desires right? thus fuli granting him their memories allows him to understand better how to reach out to them. let's take sunday's letter as example, how is elio aware of the dove and how much it meant to sunday?

i think fuli's message means something along the lines of time is running out. on the other occasion of fuli's appearance they show us a memory of kafka hmmmm

but wait! it gets better. i was reading fu xuan's lore and i couldn't believe the extra possibility, here's this :

"The girl did not open her eyes, yet she could already see the world around her condense into solid form from nebulous mist, see all possibilities fade and leave behind the solitary, absolute, and faultless "choice." "

isnt this awfully similar? indeed there's differences in their powers and how they use them. fu xuan uses the eye to see the one true possibility from all the others, with it she can keep exploring the many possibilities, this at least is very alike.

do you realize what that means? nous actually isnt just a space robot, they cook, they cook too good and they might be the one on elio's side which is CRAZY to say the least. if fuli can help elio see the past and know of things he otherwise cant know, then nous would be able to do the same because they know everything there's in the world, and can help modify TB to store the stellaron. ISNT IT CRAZY?? MAH BOI IS FAVORED! but that only convinces me that terminus is more and more useless lolz

also we see fu xuan possesing a third eye, in elio's case his eyes are totally changed, unworldly.

think it's worth mentioning that fu xuan isnt able to see TB's future meanwhile elio is able to and even a supposedly unreliable heliobi :

this isnt the first time we were compared to nanook or told that we will ascend i just don't have the proof lol, with that in mind what does elio want to accomplish? maybe TB was created in naook's image? from their memories? so that someday we overtake them...maybe Elio might've created a person who wouldn't deviate from his script to ensure their ascension. Kafka never told us the 3rd way to kill an aeon .

On another hand ppl are speculating that the one who talks in the dreamscape pass is elio, im not sure abt that tbh...they mentioned aha twice for me to think it might be sampo lol but elio makes sense, and if it's truly him then oh god he is silly lolol

some also say the voice of narrator at the end of penacony might be elio since CN recognized the va, i play in jp and i think it was shimono hiro? i was like this is too popular of a va to be giving to a narrator TT

Also it seems like some plot points are inspired from a game called ghost trick (IT'S GREAT!! AND I FEEL RLY EMPTY INSIDE) once I finished it I finally understood something that I didn't before, what it meant for terminus to go to the past to recite the prophecy of the future. Not spoilers dw

anyways i feel so much better now ty for reading all the way!

[jusst-you-race]

first of I really appreciate that you were transparent in the tags of condominium about how some ships may not appear a lot and you chose to not tag them because of it!!! a lot of smaller ship tags tend to get overrun with fics that barely feature them which is very frustrating for those looking for fics featuring them 🫶

anyway, I was wondering, there are a handful of ships I would say that are kinda semi set up for more as it stands (specifically thinking of zhottas, pierresteban, haasbands)? 👀do you have any plans for any of them? no pressure if not and also understand if you don't want to spoil anything or just not give anything away!! but if you do have thoughts on them you want to share I would love to hear them!!!!! everyone is here to see the main ships obviously so dont feel pressured about adding you dont want either :))

(and also dont feel like you have to answer the ask at all if you just dont care about the side ships or something or feel uncomfortable and have nothing planned for them. just if you want I'd love to hear it!! okay thats all before I ramble too close to the sun haha)

wowowow thank you! I’m also going to ramble a bit on this one honestly because it is something that I have thought about a lot and gone back and forth on a little bit!!! this got really long so under the cut it goes

firstly, as someone that will ship anyone and anything, I would hate to clog up a relationship tag for a rarer pairing when they only feature in a couple of offhand sentences or something. I was going crazy trying to find haasband fics where they weren’t the most minor side pairing and it was driving me insane! so I’m trying to avoid that! I hadn’t originally tagged strollonso for this reason, but I love them too much to not keep including them and I feel like they’re featured enough (and will be featured enough in the future) to justify tagging them.

in terms of other pairings, I might slap a yukierre heads up in just the general tags, as they are currently happily dating but won’t feature too much just because I don’t feel like I can do their dynamic justice as much… pierresteban will stay as neighbours with unnecessary beef because I just think that’s funny (as much as I do love pierresteban as a pairing)

I have also thought about other ships, but either these are not super set in stone, or I have plans but I don’t want to reveal them just yet (there is Something going on with haasbands… but I won’t say exactly what that is yet!). Zhottas is one that sort of exists as a nebulous possibility that I’m kind of just seeing where it goes. (but also I think it could be fun if they’re just unconventional besties… they go shopping together and get high tea after type of thing… Valtteri has one of those cat back packs that he takes Sweet Corn on adventures in… etc etc)

i am very much writing this as I go because this genuinely started as just a silly little thing to write for fun and I still can’t really believe how many people are on board with it… eternally grateful <3 I have been sticking to the drivers and dynamics that I’m the most familiar with, and as much as I would love to give absolutely everyone their own unique in depth plot line, I do think that would get slightly overwhelming to read! gotta have some more background characters just to balance it out

thank you for the ask!!! I hope this was somewhat useful information lmao <3

[13eyond13]

Hello, new Death Note fan here. First, thanks so much for this blog of yours. Because it came out 10+ years ago, I'm afraid will hard to find any active DN acc until I came to your blog. I understand more about Death Note's characters and story thanks to you...💐

I just start DN anime and manga last year (I know it's so late), because many people said in reviews that DN is not that good and mostly overrated. After finishing it, I think, how wrong that opinion was....

Do you mind if I ask some questions :

- Is Beyond Birthday became like that because of A's suicide?

- I read somewhere that Death Note (especially L and Light's relationship) is subtext mlm like Hannibal NBC & Merlin BBC, do you agree?

- One of my friend is DN fan since 2008, and every time she watched (more than 100x) L's death, she still cried. And coping it with read L/Light fics, are you like that too?

- "L and Light are both ace and aromantic", do you agree?

- Until the end, does L figure out it was Light = Kira the whole time?

- If Mello and Near work together from the start, can Light got captured more early?

- If Light were female, do you think L/Light ship will be more common?

- Until now, have you found any couple (canon or non canon) from any media (books, tv series, movies, anime/manga, etc) that the dynamics remind you of L/Light?

- "If Ryuk were an ikemen, than Light/Ryuk ship will be more popular than Light/L", do you agree?

- Do you prefer L as top or bottom or switch with Light? Why?

- In what moments that you start ship Light with L?

Sorry for my long ask (got too excited) feel free to answer whichever you want to. Thanks @13eyond13 ....

Hi! Aw, thanks for the kind words, and I'm so glad my blog is still helping new fans out that way somehow! 😊

Let me try to quickly answer your questions here (sorry if the answers aren't very in-depth, I don't have a computer with me currently and I'm just replying to you with my phone)

- Did Beyond Birthday become like that because of A's suicide?

This is not something that is commented on directly in the novel, so it's up to fan interpretation and headcanons for that! There is only one sentence about A, and we actually don't even know if A and B knew each other or interacted with each other in any way:

Personally I DO think it's fun to imagine it's part of B's past that he and A did know each other and that it did affect him somehow, but I'm not sure if his character was actually written with that notion in mind.

- I read somewhere that Death Note (especially L and Light's relationship) is subtext mlm like Hannibal NBC & Merlin BBC, do you agree?

I think you can definitely easily read homoerotic subtext into their relationship, but I also believe most of it was not really intentionally put there by the manga creators Ohba and Obata. I think SOMETIMES there were deliberate suggestive jokes and whatnot in the manga that indicated there was some level of awareness that things between them could be seen as suggestive – like when Matsuda is questioning them only sharing their cell phone numbers with each other, and when Misa questions L's orientation whenever he handcuffs himself to Light. That doesn't mean that reading them or their relationship in a shippy way isn't valid or legitimate or interesting to do! Just that I dont think it was written with the writer knowingly going into things like "ohoho time to slyly queerbait the audience!" or something. I think Hannibal's creators were extremely deliberate with everything homoerotic that goes on between Will and Hannibal for example, but I think it happened a bit more unintentionally in Death Note originally.

- One of my friend is DN fan since 2008, and every time she watched (more than 100x)  L's death, she still cried. And coping it with read L/Light fics, are you like that too?

Haha oh wow 100x! I'm not like that personally because I had L's death spoiled for me by a comment I saw on the very first episode of the anime, so I knew it was coming! I was still really upset about it of course, he IS my fave. But actually Light's death in the anime gets a stronger emotional reaction from me than L's. I think I only ever cried during Death Note at that part where Light is thinking about his younger innocent self while he's wounded and running away, something about it gets me every time... And yes, I definitely wanted to read a lot of fics to resolve all my messy feelings about the two of them afterwards!

- "L and Light are both ace and aromantic", do you agree?

I can see why people might see them that way, though it's not my personal headcanon for them! It's one of those things people can decide for themselves rather than something I think there is an objectively "correct" answer about, really.

- Until the end, does L figure out it was Light  = Kira the whole time?

I'm not 100% sure if I'm understanding your question correctly. But I think L is always something like "PRETTY DARN SURE" Light is Kira, though he also knows he needs to have the concrete proof to back that certainty of his up. He DOES know it without a doubt once he actually has his heart attack and sees the look on Light's face in the manga, though! He thinks something like "I knew it! I wasn't wrong..." before his eyes close. Which in some way is maybe a small comfort, to know that he was able to solve this ultimate mystery for himself and know he was definitely correct about it before he died.

- If Mello and Near had worked together from the start, could Light have been captured more early?

A very good question! I unfortunately feel a bit too rusty on my successor arc plot stuff to know how to answer this one well, but I do think that Near and Mello made a very effective team whenever they collaborated, for sure.

- If Light were female, do you think L/Light ship will be more common?

I don't know if it would be more COMMON necessarily, but perhaps it would just have a slightly different sort of fanbase and legacy as a ship? I think a lot of people kinda like, and have always liked, how gay it is though? and I don't know if that really hurt the ship's popularity so much as maybe increased it even. But I'm definitely not an expert on this stuff or anything, hahaha

- Until now, have you found any couple (canon or non canon) from any media (books, tv series, movies, anime/manga, etc) that the dynamics remind you of L/Light?

Not exactly like it, no! It's quite unique to me in many ways. MAYBE the closest thing I can think of right now is NBC Hannibal, simply because of the unresolved tension and morbid dark humour and constant innuendo and cop/criminal investigative sort of stuff going on between them? But I think canon Hannigram was darker in some ways than I find canon Lawlight to be, and the parallels aren't exact by any means...

- "If Ryuk were an ikemen, than Light/Ryuk ship will be more popular than Light/L", do you agree?

Hahaha, I feel like it would be more popular as a ship than it currently is, but I'm not sure it would eclipse Lawlight! I feel it's hard to beat the antagonistic chemistry L and Light have simply due to how their roles are set up in the story as the detective and the criminal and whatnot.

- Do you prefer L as top or bottom or switch with Light? Why?

I prefer it when they take turns in fics and don't stick rigidly to one thing or the other! I think maybe because it seems realistic to me that they'd want to experiment that way with each other, and also because I just find it more interesting to read smut if they're doing stuff in a variety of ways.

- In what moments that you start ship Light with L?

I think I basically immediately felt a strong tension and chemistry between them. But I was introduced to things via the anime, and the rain scene definitely seemed extremely shippy to me and like "there's no way they weren't into each other" hahah. I think the rain scene was the main reason I went looking for shippy content about them afterwards. But I find that the manga is actually shippier to me than the anime sometimes, even though that rain scene isn't in it. Maybe because to me it feels a bit more like they're mentally and emotionally on the same page about things more often in the manga, and both seem pretty aware of the sly mind games they're playing with each other the whole time. And Light stays very fixated on and oddly reverent towards L after his death in the manga as well, which ultimately remains probably the shippiest thing about them in canon to me...

[orangepeelshortbreadcookies]

Hello!!! sorry i jum in here but i saw many post of your as a polin pen hater. You can hate what you want of course but its necessary to lie just to hate a character because of her body??? it wasnt that bad, she was not mean.

yes, what she did telling the ton marinas secret was not the best choise but it was what she thought it was the only way. Do you all wish for colin a marriage with not love?? and in a more practical way this is fiction and we all now he was going t end with pen , they are end game and thi is romance, its suppouse to be romantic that theu found each other, and for me it is. She didnt told marina secret because she wants colin for herself , she never thought she cold have him. maybe yo dont understand this but we, fat girls who are foung unattractive NEVER expect love or having a man, even less somone like colin. I think you, as many sadly, jugdge Pen actions too strong and deep down its all becuase of how she looks. Depp down i know you judge her action strongly becuase you can't accept that a woman who looks like that get something. I know you will keep hating, just want to say my opinion

(2) I saw you ask once why we ( pen fans) are mad when people hate her like you do if we got everything, saying like she happy and get married and LW. i will answer that from my perspective. Im fat, people is mean and that herats and yes, maybe it not a good things but it nice to have a revenge for all that suffering , but beside that i feel represented FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME in a romance show, ALL THE ROMANCE FEMALE LEADS AND THIN WOMAN and for the first times she looks like me but everyone is hating her becuase of how she looks and the worst is anyone accept its becuase of that, you all write long essays jugdging her actions but as i said, Were her actions that bad???? think about it fr......

Others please also refer to this post for more context.

I did not intend to answer this ask, because honestly, I'm really very lazy. Since there are only so many ways I can make my argument against the same accusation over and over again, especially to someone who clearly doesn't want to listen, I figured ignoring was the right decision. I'd rather spend my creative energy and efforts on my own writings, instead of figuring out another elaborate wording on how being critical of a character's actions does not equate fatphobia, and that personal adversity does not equal a 'get out of jail' free card for repeatedly inflicting pain on other people on a mass scale. I've talked about it in depth in my own blog, as well as reblogging other eloquent, well thought-out posts from others, Polin fans and anti-Polin fans alike. You can just scroll through my blog to see that. But I don't think you have come after me, time and again, to be convinced.

Even now, I still think ignoring you would have been the smarter, or at least, easier course of action for me. But I digress. Maybe it's one of those days where I feel more confrontational, maybe my ADHD is acting up and my meds are not hitting as well today, maybe after weeks of stress-filled personal achievements I'm feeling talkative seeing someone trying to disturb my peace. Nontheless, since you've made diligent efforts in seeking out my response, today's your lucky day, once and for all.

Something my mutuals and followers might have learned about me, is that I, being pretty fucking lazy, don't post/write a lot. To remedy this, when I do post, oftentimes I try to be as thorough as I possibly can. So, in the spirit of being thorough, here's a little log of the things I have received in the past weeks, on this site as well as on AO3, some of which, @cherryblossom970sblog, I have reasons to believe came from you

So you feel represented by character. Awesome. Good for you. You should celebrate it with like-minded people. You think nobody likes Penelope the way you do? Find the ones who do. I can assure you, they exist. I saw them daily on my dash. Read fics that bring you joy. Don't read the ones that don't. I have seen way too many Penelope/Anthony, Penelope/Benedict or even Penelope/Gregory fics, or fics where Penelope just straight up abused Colin that are celebrated in the comments. I don't like those and you know what I do? Scroll past those fics or click out of those and not read them. You know what I don't do? Go after the writers, try to police their writing, and accuse them of bigotry for not catering to my preferences.

Accept the fact that it's not going to be a 100% percent approval rating. And that's fine. That's part of life. I'm a primary Benophie fan, I've seen people wanting Benedict to end up with different people. It's their prerogative, I leave them alone. I have mutuals who have different takes on actions of Kate, Edwina, and Anthony, with varying degrees of feelings regarding how season 2 ends, and I have my own opinions. Personally, I find all three parties were wrong in that triangle, especially Anthony, and the sisterhood between Kate and Edwina in that season ought to have been handled with more respect and care. And my mutuals and I have civil, nuanced discussions about such things and ending those with still different opinions. That's okay. They're fictional characters and their actions are up to character analysis. It's fine.

What ISN'T fine is obssessively stalking inboxes of strangers, REAL people, unleashing insane level of hate and prejudices in defence of a FICTIONAL character, and accusing them of crimes they OBJECTIVELY did not commit, all because they don't share your opinions. I know you don't think this kind of behaviour is okay, you said so yourself that it's not a good thing. You've experienced fatphobia, you have my sympathies for that, but it doesn't give you the right to be shitty to other people. Your own bad experiences do not entitle you to disrespect, dismiss, invalidate and insult the people you harassed, including me, many of which are WoCs who have valid concerns regarding how their own experiences are represented and treated on the show. My struggles of being a bisexual, Asian, immigrant woman does not excuse me from being toxic to people who have done me no harm. I will not be vindicated in demeaning someone who have criticisms against the actions of fictional character who share my traits, criticisms that I just happen to disagree with.

And frankly, I find reducing the nuances of a character or person to only their bodies, to contribute (as either condemn or excuse) their actions to be only the result of their bodies, fucking insulting. It's infantalising and dehumanising.

Have a nice day and happy shipping. Leave us alone.

[thorne1435]

that anon has absolutely lost their shit tbh. like i believe that transmisogyny exists and transmisandry doesn't, not that trans men dont face transphobia or that their transphobia isnt specifically about denying their manhood. but just that like. trans women are opressed because trans people are opressed. and then we also get opressed because women get oppressed. like men arent opressed solely on the basis of being men, they only get oppressed for being other things. transmascs do have some mild privilege over trans women on the same order that cis men have privilege over cis women. and theres like. violence from trans men towards trans women too. but its not some fucking conspiracy of evil people trying to brainwash people against trans women and for trans men it's just an emergent property of all the systematic oppression in society. when a trans man throws a trans woman under the bus and exposes her to life threatening violence he doesnt do that because hes evil or men are evil, he does that because we're higher on the shit list than he is and he will get rewarded by existing plainly visible power structures. its the lingua franca of our modern capitalist system: short term self interest. this is basic intersectionality we don't need a secret cabal to explain it. fuckin sorry for that bullshit

Hate to be that bitch but...men are oppressed on the basis of being men. Gender roles are inherently oppressive. If they're being expected of you, you're oppressed. It really is that simple.

Now, the depth of the oppression from each gender role does vary, but I think that where it lacks depth in one particular regard it makes up for in another.

I think that punishing deviants with ostracization is why gender roles are oppressive.

Look at it this way: one could argue that women are oppressed because they dared to step outside of the proverbial kitchen, right?

The problem is, when I say it like that, it sounds more misogynistic, because I imply that being in "the proverbial kitchen" is the inherent state of womanhood. And, to be fair, since that's at the heart of the traditional feminine gender ("homemakers") it's not an inaccurate thing to say, is it?

You didn't say it quite like that, though. You said "Men are oppressed for being something other than men."

Can you imagine the shitstorm if I had said "Feminist women are trying to be something else"? And I'd deserve it! That's misogyny. I think it sounds equally misandristic to say that men are only oppressed if they "try to be something else." It implies the same thing as my example above: that anyone dubbed "male" (whether assigned or assumed) must behave as the traditional masculine gender without deviation in order claim the title of Man.

The reason why men are oppressed for "being other things" is because those things are considered irreconcilable with the masculine gender, just like how strong women are oppressed for doing things that don't mesh with the feminine gender.

For example, "A 'real' man can't be gay."

Why not? Because, to be the object of sexual desire is not masculine. Men are the desirers, just like how women are the desired and so desiring isn't feminine enough.

It's all the same, just on the other side of the coin.

I don't think you necessarily meant it that way. Just be careful with your wording.

It takes effort to stop thinking of things in the misogynistic, misandristic ways we were raised to.

I have more to say, but this answer is long enough.

[rxttenfish]

hi !!! sending this on anon because i am rather nervous all things considered <:3 (i am lying to you, i have not considered 'all things'.) one monster prom fan to another (can we be compared using such broad terminology ? i feel as if i am domesticated compared to you... [compliment, or at the very least not inherently negative]) , i wanted to thank you SO SO SO VERY MUCH for giving miranda so much love and thought and mulling her over in your mind in such a ... refreshing way

i also really really really like miri , but i can only aspire to have your level of dedication . it feels almost like we are of totally different worlds... !!!!!

thank you for bringing in real world biology too :3 i absolutely adore your design for her so much (this is most likely not proper grammar, but it is very late and i am very cold and so i will hope with all my heart you will excuse this mistake. one of many, i should assume) - though !!!! i do have a question if that is alright ?????

i cant say that a marine macropredator of a significantly vibrant pink really strikes me as advantageous colouring - does the abyssal environment that you say the merfolk live in negate the need for camouflage and such ????? i apologise for sounding passive aggressive !!!! i am merely asking a question. cocking my head to the side if you will

additionally, i would like to ask something foolish. how do they acquire food? i dont want to say 'hunt', because that might seem insulting. historically were they built for stalking, or high speed chases, or...???? please, talk 'nerdy to me' as they say !!! <- in an entirely normal way befitting two strangers of course.

you know, i would have expected to hit the ask word limit by now. but it seems i have not. yippee !!!!

with my extra space, i shall add this: I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE WAY YOIU WRITE MIRI . GOOD LOOOOOORD IT IS AMAZING HAVIJNG SOMEOENE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING IWIITH HER thank yoiu for making her at least moderately intelligent. i feel blessed <- is this all too harsh sounding???? im a little new to all this letter/ask-writing thing <:3

IN ANY CASE !!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOIU SO VERY MUCH. AGAIN. drops this and scuttles away

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/761693443676045363/1183251697129226270/ordered3.png

also i believe you can indeed tell, but i drew that in ms paint with my finger .. sorry that it looks like poop <:3

(moving the image out of the link just in case it breaks-)

AAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! this looks so WONDERFUL i love the way that you've shaped her head and how you've captured how Chunky it is... i know its one of the things people have the hardest time drawing with her so its just all the more impressive how well youve managed to capture her!!!

i also love the little doodles eeeee..... please feel free to toss all ocs at miri, its enrichment for her <3 ironically gentle chewing/biting is a Play and Bonding thing for merfolk so she shall happily Bites Bites Bites back-

(also i LOVE her smile!!! you arent anthropomorphizing in the slightest for that - miri often does have very human expressions in a way that's odd for a merfolk, because she effectively got imprinted during her time spent inland... and its politically useful if you smile and match expressions with the people you're trying to work with anyways)

ill also go ahead and answer your questions because i can! very easily clarify on them!

the color: actually, being bright red and pink is actually very common for deep sea animals, due to the way light works at depth! its why i decided miranda was abyssal, because that felt like the most natural way to explain why she's pink, since it's such an uncommon color in nature.

basically, different colors of light have different lengths! red is the shortest wavelength of light, and blue is the longest. water might be clear, but there's a lot of water in the ocean, and the more water you add, the more it filters out light - which is why the bottom of a pool might be dark and shady, but if you hold a little of the water in your hands there's no shade. the ocean is a lot deeper than a pool, and so it gets darker as you go down, but because it's also clear, it doesn't filter out all that light at the same rate.

red, being the shortest wavelength of light, gets filtered out first, so red often gets quickly darker the deeper down you go, until it's completely black! camouflage is dependent on the environment, so their color and brightness has to match the background, but it also depends on the light that's hitting the animal. it's why fawns have dappled spots, or animals might have black stripes, so they can mimic the light of their environment. and when your environment has no red light, well... red's a pretty good color to be!

because of this, a lot of animals in the deep sea can't actually see red either, which is doubly the reason why you might want to be red! think of it like tigers, and how ungulates often can't see their orange, making them look just about the same color as the foliage around them when they're hunting! miranda might stick out on land, but that's just because we aren't seeing her in the environment she's made for, where she blends in with everything else around her as much as a pure black animal.

(it's also why her bioluminescence is blue - blue is the longest wavelength of light, and the one most animals can see at that depth. if she lights up, then she wants to be seen, and she can even alter her silhouette to appear larger or smaller or breaking it up into multiple shapes if she needs to. it's why her tapetum lucidum is blue when light's shone on it, because there is blue light to be seen at depth, it's just very dim!)

(this is also why giant squid are bright red, and why the stoplight loosejaw fish is so special! the latter actually produces its own red light, and can see red light, which means that it has a secret light that won't reveal where it is but will reveal to it where its prey is!)

food: this is something that depends a lot, because there are actually multiple different species of merfolk, which is mostly my fault because i don't always feel like i communicate this the best. they're all slightly different in how they evolved to capture prey, with abyssals in particular being fuckoff huge ambush predators that attack from below, and others being shallower-water hunters or more adapted for smaller, faster prey - but they all evolved from an ancestor with a fairly consistent prey-capture method.

in short, all merfolk are ancestrally evolved to hunt whales and other large prey items, with all the extant species still holding at least a degree of this. primarily, they were ambush predators who were good at getting in close to their prey before a sudden burst of speed. they would work together in close-knit groups (one of the big pressures for their increasing socialization and larger brains, to coordinate such groups) to all mob a single prey item at once, hitting with force to cause sudden trauma, and then using their claws, double-thumbs, back feet, and mouths to hold onto their prey and refuse to be dislodged. they'd repeatedly claw and use their strong bites and massive heads to rip deeply into their prey, causing further massive trauma and shock, and if that failed, bleeding their prey to death.

think of it like the raptor prey restraint model, just further taking advantage of the fact that they were underwater, where no one else has hands that could potentially rip them off. being smaller and somewhat less-optimized for marine life compared to things like sharks and whales and large fish worked for them, because they had a novel adaptation that allowed them to take advantage of things no one else could, and the numbers to make up for it. this is, likewise, why they never lost their hands and fully developed flippers, instead making their limbs as flipper-like as possible to make up for it.

then as time went on and certain populations became separated from each other, they adapted for slightly different niches, but all remain fairly closely related to each other as a genus.

in the modern day, most merfolk don't really "hunt" for all of their meals, at least not in the same way that we might think. don't get me wrong, they still absolutely hunt and it's a larger part of their lives than it is for most humans, but they have options.

mostly, the merfolk theory for their relationship with nature is to invite it in. this is not to say they aren't controlling and pruning it, but they do live underwater, and it's far harder to keep animals out than it is on land, so merfolk accepted it and worked with it. they'll work to promote growth around their buildings and where they live, fostering the growth of sea grass and algae and coral and other sessile animals, encouraging them to set down and grow in these areas, and they'll then let more wild animals move in, further encouraged by these natural sources of food and shelter, on top of merfolk working even further to encourage them in. they serve as a functional cleanup crew for the merfolk in these settlements, being allowed to eat anything that merfolk might drop or go to waste, and even moreso might be purposefully fed at times, or have specific homes for them built. merfolk will keep encouraging them and taking care of them until they become a biorich hotspot, creating unique oasises for wildlife to live alongside merfolk.

however, this isn't just a free-for-all, persay. merfolk will also purposefully prune these populations and control how they form, often removing "problem" animals and encouraging certain behaviors which makes it easier for these populations to live alongside merfolk, not viewing them as a threat, but also not viewing them as an opportunity either. they will directly shape how these areas grow and cultivate them on a physical level, often using them as an easy shortcut to literally grow their settlements and buildings. but they will also harvest from these populations and selectively breed them, until their cities and towns act as massive public gardens full of food to be caught, picked, and eaten at any time

as there are also a lot of (very politically powerful) nomadic groups, they also do this, albeit not always so directly. they'll have specific shoals or "runs" of fish that they will follow behind and take care of, managing as they move through the ocean in accordance with the seasons. this is where the whales still factor in, because the nomadic groups will also take care of the whales, purposefully keeping an eye on their pods and taking care of them and, when the time comes, being choosy and particular in which whale they select at any given time to be hunted, harvested, and eaten.

(there's also the way in which food is distributed and managed throughout the merkingdom, since some food is indeed shipped and moved throughout the different areas, but that's a different story for another time and i've talked enough)

BUT!!!! thank you so much and thank you for enjoying all of this that ive been making with miri, and thank you for giving me an excuse to talk more about her <3

[scribble-dribble-writes]

helluuuu,

these pictures of Ewan made me feel some type of way and since i absolutley adore ur Obi-Wan writings, I was wondering if u would want to write a Ewan x fem!Reader (if u feel more comfortable with obi-wan x fem!reader, do that) one-shot about them going on a road-trip after some difficult time in their realtionship and they‘re just really in love again and all that.

If u dont wanna do that, thats really fine. I just adore ur works and hope u have/had a great day.

Hey thank you for the request!! Sorry it took awhile but I hope you like it 💖💖💖

Also thank you for your love for my Obi wan fics haha 🥹💖

--

Highway

Pairing: obiwan x you

Warnings: none

Word count: 2600

You cross the street with your backpack hung on one shoulder. The excitement building through your system, the sun was shining and after your days of blue, it was beginning to feel nice again. You spot the petrol bunk, the place you had agreed to meet Anakin for the start of your road trip. But just as you approach it, your phone vibrates in your hand, it was most likely him asking you where you where. But that was not what it read.

Hey, I’m so sorry but something came up at work and Padme needed help.

I know you were looking forward to this and my brother overhead it and ...

You look away from your phone. His brother. The breeze died and the depths began to engulf you. Your heart was a target and the arrow had his name written on it, so much so that you left it in place rather than taking it out. Cause then he was still a part of your life. Unlike how he didn’t show up when you stood at the altar.

This was not what you signed up for. It was going to be a weekend, filled with salt air and lemonade. Not this. Not him.

“Hello.”, his voice sounded the same, so did the pain.

The door to the convenience store was half open and he was halfway through it, his hand holding onto a tray with two cups of coffee and a box of macaroons in a transparent bag.

You shoved the phone in your pocket and turned away, because your eyes were begging you to look at him.

“Wait.”, he said urgently and you cursed yourself for doing so, for stopping in your tracks till he came into your field of view again. His ocean eyes were wide and concerned.

“He told you didn’t he? I told him not to.”, he sighed and it only made you angry.

“And somehow that’s the better option?”, you asked, not willing to hide your emotion.

His throat ran dry. He stood there without words to say because this was the first time he heard your voice again ever since..

He brought himself back to the moment. It did him no good dwelling on that day. But here you were and he was a deer caught in headlights.

“I know. I wanted to –

“It was clear what you wanted a year ago. Not me.”, it came out of nowhere and you froze.

There was that shift in his eyes again, every time he hid he was hurt but it only frustrated you that you could read him so well and yet hurt him in all the right places.

You didn’t apologize. For all the agony you had felt, it only felt fair for him to feel a little of it too.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”, this was much softer.

Pathetic, a thought passed.

All this time and yet you’re unravelling.

He didn’t need an explanation. He didn’t need an answer when he never gave you one. So you left him standing there, trying to pace your steps so you didn’t take of running.

“Anakin is getting married.”, he told you.

“What?”, you turned to him again. But now, shocked and surprised.

He shrugged his shoulders and it fell into place. He was doing it for him, he was here against his wishes.

“He was going to tell you after this trip. Hoping that we could make amends and show up for his day.”, he spoke calmly as he took a step towards you.

“So all of this was a lie too.”, you pursed your lips, but his eyes weren't lying, he looked away as though another second...

Another second and he will break all over again. His chest tightened, this was torture. To watch you believe everything he felt for you was a lie. If only you knew.

“I can say nothing to convince you, I am not worthy of it. But for his sake, I wanted to try.”, he told the truth. He always had.

“He’s on his way to the resort and will meet us when we get there to tell you his ‘big news’ and by doing so everything in his life will be complete.”, he elaborated.

“His family will be whole.”, he said and the best of your heart was loud in your ear.

He had single handedly ruined Anakin’s surprise but that was to convey the intent of his actions. His brother considered you family even though you werent. And it would take someone truly  stone cold to be able to break Anakin’s heart. That wasn’t you.

You exhaled, shifting your weight. This was going to be a reckless decision. But the more you thought about it, it only solidified that both of you were going to endure it for Anakin.

“Only for Anakin’s sake.”, you said calmly and he dipped his head like he agreed to it wholeheartedly.

“I’m not going to speak to you. Or interact with you. Or anything else you might think of. This is just another Uber ride.”, you tell him point blank. But replacing his wounded eyes were his bright smile as he took in your words.

“Wouldn’t ask that of you.”, he said with a certainty and that tug in your heart was back again. He knew you and you couldn’t replace that with someone else.

With that, a silence settled between you and him. He kept his promise, no words were exchanged but the actions were loud enough. He helped you with your bags when he didn’t have to. Shared a cup of coffee and when you held it, your name was spelt perfectly on it. He fueled the car and that’s when you truly let yourself see him, through the reflection in the side mirror.

The sides of his hair was cut short, his chin was exposed with a day's stubble on it. He wore tshirts now that fit his body well as opposed to how he had been a year ago. When his hair was longer, his beard thicker and his frame silhouetted and hidden behind long coats. Now, he looked different.

There were two parts to the journey, the first half where he would drive and second half where you would switch with him. It was just that, the energy that passed between you before the tragedy was divine. Like life was a playlist with all your favourite songs and he would sing them along with you. Now, it was static noise, that briefly stopped when you caught his eyes. Which was often, because everytime he looked back through the rear view mirror, his eyes will dwell on you for a second.

Mentions of the weather and traffic. Some news that he had read a while ago. You mention his neighbor’s crazy cat. He laughs. Small talk seemed alright. The air con was on and the vaccum was comfortable, even with him in it. You look ahead but your eyes catch his side profile illuminated but the afternoon sun, his eyelashes fuzzy and golden, his cheeks smooth and sleek that your mind compelled you to lean forward and trace your finger down it. Your phone vibrated and it reminded you of where you were and the reality of the rift between you and him. The notification was that your battery was running down and the charger wire you had wasn’t long enough to connect it from the back seat.

He had noticed your confounded expression and realised something was wrong.

“Everything alright?”, he asked glancing at you through the mirror.

“I need to charge my phone and my wire isn’t long enough.”, he heard you say, he hummed before suggesting to you a solution that would most likely distract him from driving.

“You could sit in the passenger seat.”, a suggestion. His eyes flicking to find yours. His fingers clenching tight around the steering wheel.

“We’re in the middle of a highway. I don’t want to be the cause of an accident.”, you look away and he deflates.

“It didn’t stop you during that trip we took to the countryside.”, he raised his eyebrows, as though he was suggesting..

Suggesting you had changed, when he was the one with a different coffee order and a whole new persona. But the trigger was enough, to prove to him that you were the same, that you were unaffected. So you took the bait.

“Fine.”, you caught his eyes.

“At the next junction.”, you said calmly.

The junction was fast approaching and the car slowed down, giving you enough time to slip you feet into the passenger seat. You held onto the head rest of the seat, trying your best not to touch him at any cost. Because, that would lead down the remembrance of all the nights all you did was feel his touch. So you focused on only getting into the seat. But the car ahead moved and the motion pulled you back.

Your footing became unsteady, you hand wavered to hold onto the other seat but instead you caught his shoulder sending a rush of warmth through your body. His eyes meet yours for a brief second, you quickly slipped into your seat, tugging on the seatbelt to slide across you when the car ahead stopped suddenly causing him to hit the breaks.

You jerk forward, to brace yourself but you didn’t collide into anything. With your eyes closed, all you feel is soft skin on the side of your torso. You look below to see his hand across your body bracing you from the sudden impact, the edges of his finger tips sinking into your exposed abdomen. His other hand holding the wheel steady, his wide eyes catching onto to what he had done. Your lips part slightly, both of you breathing quickly. The car in the back honked and you both split apart, he whipped back his hand to rest it on his jeans and you put your seat belt on.

Neither of you wanted to acknowledge what was done.

He was nervous now, that he ran his hands over the gritty texture of his pants then maybe it would erase the tingle in his fingers. He was going to cause his own downfall because you were right next to him, making him cautious of his movements. So when he heard a familiar tune on the radio he turned up the volume.

“This was your favorite.”, he mumbled.

You turned to him, a soft smile as you huffed. Your chest still a flutter with the adrenaline soaring through your body.

“You remember?”, you asked him.

“It’s our song.”, he shrugged his shoulders.

“It was.”, he corrected himself and the smile on both your faces disappeared.

“You used to hum it in your sleep.”, he heard you and it took him back, to when he had everything. Waking up next to you, to hold you close, to turn around and have everything in his world be right because you laid by his side. He inhaled deeply. He had lost it all.

The first part of the journey was done. You survived, half of it. He pulled up into a rest zone and rolled his shoulders. He rested his head back against the cushion and you both stayed as you were.

“So, was it another woman?”, you asked. The question seamlessly rolling of your tongue because it plagued you. He turned to you, confusion written across his face.

“Atleast that’s what the crowd whispered.”, you told him.

“No.”, he said softly.

“Then?”, you leaned in. Curious and well aware that it was going to break your heart.

He looked away.

“Obiwan.”, you whispered and his eyes snapped back to yours. It felt like ages since he had last heard his name on your lips.

“Give me a reason.”, you pleaded.

“So I can hate you fully.”, your eyebrows furrowed in pain.

“without having to hold out hope that it somehow wasn’t your fault.”, these words were bubbling out.

“because you loved me in a way no one else could and I don’t know how to move on.”, tears filled the brim of your eyes.

He mirrored your emotion as he swallowed.

“I got a call.”, He steadied himself, looking ahead.

“Anakin fell in with the wrong crowd and got involved with this one notorious businessman, Palpatine, who was known to trade in shady dealings.”, his pinky finger touched yours and you held onto every word that spilled out of his mouth.

“They were at his house before he could leave to our wedding and he called for me. And I had to go.”, a tear streamed down his cheek as though it had tormented him every day.

“And I had hoped to be back in time, to run down the aisle even if I had been bruised or my coat torn. I.. I tried.”, he stumbled with his words softly.

“You were hurt?”, you whispered to suppress your agony.

He nodded to your question.

“But it all happened the way it did, I ran out of time and we didn’t want this to get out, because it would tarnish Anakin’s name and so I had to keep the secret.”, he finally turned to you.

“And by doing so, I hurt you.”, the pain was evident. And you reached out to hold his hand, the simple action causing him to be stunned.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, you asked, your heart now in pieces to have spent the year convinced to be away from him.

“It was easier to have them tear me down than to show my face and beg for forgiveness, you didn’t deserve any of that.”, he spoke and it struck you. It was his nature, to be selfless and that was what he had been doing, even though it tore him down.

“Obiwan.”, you edge closer and he shook his head.

“I will never move on. You’re the only woman I will ever love and everything in the world reminded me of you.”, he spoke fast out of nervousness when he noticed you edging closer towards him.

“The smell of coffee, old Spotify playlists, lilacs, blue skies, macaroons, -

You turned him towards you, somehow all the pain you had felt long before vanishing as he mumbled all your favourite things, his blue eyes bore into yours, your name a rough whisper in the back of his throat.

“I’ve missed you.”, he said and that’s all was needed

You placed your lips on his and it felt like nothing had ever happened. Like he showed up to your wedding, you drove off into the sunset and you were here, taking a road trip together. That kissing him was just a regular gesture and that he hadn’t vanished from your life.

He hummed against your lips, but his sweetness turned to thirst and hunger as he slipped his hand behind your neck to bring you closer, his tongue parting your lips to deepen the kiss and you drifted closer, your finger holding back his longer strands of hair from his forehead as you crossed over to him.

His breath hitched in his throat when you splayed your hands on his chest and as your legs straddled his hips.

“I’m sorry.”, he whispered as he kissed your neck.

“Shhh.”, you tilt his chin so his eyes could meet yours.

“I could never hate you, Obiwan. It only hurt to think you didn’t choose me.”, you said quietly and the worry in his eyes turned into resolve.

“I’ll choose you in every lifetime.”, he held the sides of your face as though he wanted you to only know of that fact.

“Then make up for lost time.”, you whisper as his hands slid down your torso touching all the right places, his fingers tracing your exposed waistline and you realized that you could only love him.

“Then we’re going to be late, darling.”, he whispered in your ear as you chuckled.

“Making amends takes time.”, you click your tongue and he laughed, his voice nice and low. He encased you within his arms as he kissed you again and time was kind enough to give you a second chance.

The second part of the journey was unlike the first. You drove down an empty road. The windows were down, the sun was soft, he held your hand and nothing had to be said. He played the songs he would listen to when he was reminded of you and somehow that gesture was all that was needed to see no one else could ever love you like he did.

He would tell you stories and you laughed together, about how Anakin might be as he waited for Padme to walk down the aisle. You could see him turn to you in your peripheral vision and he looked content.

"Will be my plus one?", he asked sweetly.

"To the wedding?", you teased him.

"No, forever.", He replied and in the innocence of it all was his proposal that was hidden within it, just like he had asked you the first time.

"Yes.", you tell him as you drove off into the sunset.

[walnutcookie]

tell me your headcanons for mac n cheese and cheddar RIGHT NOW!! /nf /silly

HI THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK AGSJDBDKFBSKRB /GEN THIS MAKESME SO HAPPY ,,,,

i think that if i were to go in depth about my headcanons and lore for them this post would be a bit long so heres some of the simpler ones X]

links lead to drawings ive made relating to my headcanons 👍

Cheddar Cheese

• cheddar is very. VERY tall. like 6'9" (funny number). Makes it worse because sometimes they like to wear heels

• uses all pronouns but mainly they/them :3 male/female honorifics

• a lesbian. Question mark ? still debating

• rogueforts cousin!!! Survived the blue cheese manor fire (which happened when it was just a teen)

• related to above if you know anything about my roguefort lore they grew up in a Not so great rich snobby family!! they were buxton blue cheeses child which makes cheesecake their sister as well. Dont ask where the accent came from let me have this JZVDKFBDK

• intersex and bigender - when growing up they were forced to fit into either "boy" or "girl" and didnt exactly fit either stereotype biologically or through their behavior so their parents were very frustrated with them. Turns out theyre both!!!

• it started as a joke because of ratatouille but. i am a firm believer in ratmouse cheddar. are they a rat? is he a mouse? both? Neither? no matter what they hide ears under their hat and paws under her gloves and a rat tail under their coat because i think its fun💥💥they should have rat/mouse features as a treat

• they have legs that are way too thin and not at all proportinate to tjeir body. i cannot stand drawing them because of this.

• resting :3 face

• very much cursed (it would take a few posts to explain this one)

• whatever this is

Macaroni

• shorter than cheddar but still on the taller side!! 5'11"

• uses he/him pronouns but he doesnt really care what pronouns are used on him. fem honorifics or anything he doesnt mind that either

• amab and genderfae :] (basically genderfluid without the masc part of the spectrum)

• lesbian

• older sister of my oc maccy cheese cookie (who was made before mac and cheddar were introduced HXBFJ). macaroni is 6 years older than them

• parents just Straight up abandoned him and his sibling as kids!! i could explain this one further but probably in another post

• it may be hard to believe but he is older than cheddar

• CANNOT STAND unsolved mysteries. having unsolved cases or puzzles makes him physically ill and he cant stand to eat or sleep when he doesnt know the solution

• related to above he despises cliffhangers and surprises and if he cant read a mystery novel in one full sitting it will EAT HIM ALIVE

• also related. Loves math! fun little puzzles that (almost) always have one logical solution. he does NOT however like math problems with multiple/no solutions

• easily startled by sudden loud noises or actions

• a lil chubby!!

• he has a little macaroni tail. sorry

as for my mac n cheese (ship) headcanons,, i cant explain them very well without context to my Full lore for the two but heres my attempt HVDKFB

• started as INCREDIBLY one sided (cheddar had romantic feelings for mac while mac had feelings of. Hatred)

• cheddar is incredibly easy to fluster because shes not used to being on the Recieving end of affection (cough cough for curse reasons cough)

• cheddar is also incredibly touch starved (cough cough for curse reasons cough)

• macaroni can just. Use cheddar as a bed. they are so fucking tall and wide he can just snooze on them

• they are so doomed toxictragic yuricore im going to kill them

YAAY thats all ill do for now but if anyone has any further questions i would love to answer

rbs ok!!!

[jujutsukgojo]

The Less You Know, The Better

mafia Shouto todoroki x reader

Summary:

“Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re not going to talk, okay?” He stalked toward you, graceful strides without a fault. “I know you won’t because you’re a good girl, aren’t you?”

What the fuck?

Right in front of you, he grabs your face. “The less you know, the better. You know nothing of tonight.”

He caressed your face. “What do you know?”

“Nothing.” Your response was quick.  “Good girl,” He placed a kiss on your head.

tw: mentioned gang violence, mentioned murder, idk

A/N: this is shit and it hurt my feelings to edit and post it i'm SCREAMING. i dont own bnha

shouto todoroki x reader, 4.8k

You look at the man that was once your classmate. His red and white hair parted in the middle with his red hair slicked back, scar prominent and beautiful, and eyes deceptively warm and innocent. He wears a tux so white, that it is like an angel's wing. You know better. You know that he'd never even get close to heaven to touch a divine being. You know him better than anyone, honestly.

His friends and family consider him noble, a little oblivious, goofy, and overall sweet and kind. That he in no way is he like his older brother. That is a bold-faced lie if you ever heard one.  

Shouto has held a candle for you since you met him at U.A. when he was openly cold. His eyes were piercing and unforgiving and his touch frosty yet fiery. Everyone forgave him for his hostility and helped him see the light of life. You were one of them, too.   

 He held doors open for you and slammed them shut on everyone else, he was gentle and courteous, during lunch he’d get up from his lonesome table and give you his sweets or his entire lunch if you forgot yours, so in return, you offered to just share it. All of these little things made you swoon and sit with him. During those times, you got to know Shouto for who he is. He never told you about his family life in depth, though. Not until Izuku got to him. Even then, the details were never fully explained to you. Some holes were never filled properly, and you never asked.   

 Second year came around and he was nicer than the last year, third year shared the same trend.    

The first time he proposed was later in your first year. You told him that the two of you couldn’t get married since you both were too young. Shouto reasoned with an ‘Okay, later then.’.  

The girls in the class squealed in excitement when he said that.    

This continued, much to everyone’s amusement. Soon it became sort of like a gag. Mina even had him recreate romantic movie scenes to get you to say yes. Once, Aizawa joined in and begged you to say yes so everyone could shut up as he tried to get the class under control.  

Sweet, sweet, Shouto showed his true colors a couple of months ago in the dead of night. You wish that you wouldn’t have walked into that restaurant and wouldn’t have come across the back alley.  

_________________

There Shouto was, standing tall, with blood coating his arms, men surrounding him, and terribly beaten and possibly dead people at his feet. For a moment you thought he was in danger and was just defending himself against assailants until you realized that these men in black were with him. Not wanting to believe your eyes and still needing to understand, you waited in secret. Shouto answered your question as he collected the money and showed that the men around him, three of them, collected the bodies. All except for one that lay on the ground.    

“A messenger is sometimes needed,” Shouto said while wiping his hand on a handkerchief that was given to him. If the blood wasn’t smeared all over it, the emblem on it would look like a mythological Chimera.    

The messenger was completely beaten yet still managed to limp with one leg not broken. He'd be screaming in agony had the adrenaline not kicked in. You curled up even more behind a box as he passed you. His eyes faced the exit with hope in his bruised eyes. You hope he didn’t see your bold-colored dress that stood out too much even in the night.  

 The three men disposed of the bodies by wrapping them up in plastic and tying a rope around them. The trunk of the truck is already covered with a bright blue tarp. The men placed the bodies inside and shut the double doors.  

One of the men get out various supplies and sprayed them on the ground. The drain collects the liquid happily. Because it is an alley, stenches, dirt, and every other disgusting thing, are normal. Perhaps that is why deep cleaning isn’t given, you presume.   

Either way, it is disgusting and scary. What you saw is evil and wrong on all levels.    

One of the three men, the one with a beanie on his head with one curl sticking out and a tattoo peeking from the back of his neck, opened the door for Shouto. “Nah, I'll walk.”    

The three men drive away. “I know you’re there, (Y/n).” Your heart stopped. Not waiting another moment, you backed away from the scene. “I want to talk to you.”    

You don’t answer him and instead, you shook your head as you leave in a crouched position. Suddenly, you’re grabbed and lifted to stare Shouto in the eyes. “I-I didn’t see anything, honest!”   

 Frozen stiff, you don’t fight when he lifts you completely and carried you bridal style. Your breath was short. The streetlights, despite the evil he committed, gave him justice for his beauty. Now revealing a terrible violent nature, he still resembles something angelic. Only this time, it is a vengeful angel rejected by God.    

 “Sh-Shouto, don’t.” You whispered. He said nothing in return. Minutes later, he says, “Keys.”   

Looking to your right, your door stands. He took you home. You didn’t even notice where he was going. Without hesitation, you jumped out of his hold and scrambled for your keys. Shouto pressed himself against you and dug inside your purse. Instantly, he held them and unlocked the door. Once you saw the door open, you jumped inside and closed the door.    

At least you tried to.    

Shouto’s foot sat in the way and helped him push himself through. “No!”    

“Stop.” He stood in front of you with the door closed behind him. For a moment neither of you speak. “You saw too much, you know that?”   

“No, I didn’t.” He scoffs and looks around your place as if he hasn’t been inside a million times. As if he didn’t help you move in and decorate. “Don’t play stupid.”   

You could have sworn you were quiet. Not a whimper or whine, not a creak or shuffle or a click of your heel. Hell, you didn't even breathe. At this time, you should have said that you wouldn’t tell anyone, but you can’t. How can you? You saw something horrific! People should know!   

 “Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re not going to talk, okay?” He stalked toward you, graceful strides without a fault. “I know you won’t because you’re a good girl, aren’t you?”   

What the fuck?   

Right in front of you, he grabs your face. “The less you know, the better. You know nothing of tonight.”   

He caressed your face. “What do you know?”   

“Nothing.” Your response was quick. “Good girl,” He placed a kiss on your head. With one bolt of courage, you said, “You won’t get away with this!”   

Shouto sighed and stared down at you. It made you remember that he has always been taller. No matter how tall you are, he’s about a head bigger if not more.    

As he leaves, he tells you to lock the door and windows. “It’s dangerous out here.”   

_________________________________

Since then, you’ve felt like you’re being watched. Bolting the doors and securing the windows is your priority. Because of what you saw, you want to march right to the authorities and tell them everything, but for some reason, you can’t. Fear and guilt are set deep inside whenever you think about it.    

Now here he is, at this stupid party or gala or whatever. In your face, asking for a dance. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”   

 Smirking, he places your drink in the waiter’s awaiting hand. “For you? A dance with me is always a good idea.”   

 He twirls you around the floor. Your dress that compliments your skin tone sways with the motion. The subtle designs on it shine in the light as he gently grabs your hand to show you off with every movement. Onlookers coo at you both and whisper ‘a lovely couple’. Those whispers make you warm.    

“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever.”   

You look around and see your old classmates, bringing a certain comfort at the moment. You notice Eijirō standing by the door, Tooru shimmying her way around the guests being as nosey as ever, and surprisingly, Kyoka has her ears perked up, seemingly joining her.  

 Momo smiles and looks around, admiring the décor. She's got the right idea. It's gorgeous. A classic ballroom set: gold and red, a chandelier, delicious food and desserts, gorgeous flowers of roses and lilies, and even more beautifully, a bouquet of bluebells. All of it screams money, elegance, and symbolism. It's truly a show of wealth. A place like this is something you never thought you'd be invited to.  

 Everyone seems to be doing okay. They're a little off, but alright. It makes you smile, your old classmates. With them being around you feel a little better.   

“It’s only been a few months, Todoroki.” He firmly grabs your waist and loops your hand through his. The hold is secure and intimate.    

 “Todoroki? What happened to Shouto?” You roll your eyes and shake your head. “Don’t do that.”   

 He hums. “Well, it throws me off. The only reason you should be saying “Todoroki” is if it has a “missus” and your name.”   

 “Oh, come on,” You scoff in disappointment. “That was lame.”    

“Sorry, I'm rusty. I haven’t asked you to marry me in these few months, (Y/n).” You separate yourself from him for a moment. “I know good and damn well your ass did not-”   

He’s genuinely smiling at you.  “I haven’t even asked yet!”  

“And you’re not going to!” He laughs again, something he only does when he’s with you. It’s been that way since high school. You're the only one who sees that he has dimples.  

 “(Y/n), please marry me. I’ll treat you right.” He promises.   

“A damn dirty lie.” He pulls you close to him. A beautiful whisper is on his lips. “No, it’s not. You’ll be safe and loved. I’ll give you the world, my love. Just say the word.”   

That’s the first time he’s called you that. Usually, it’s ‘dove’, ‘beauty’, and most often, ‘soba noodle’. The last is a nickname he picked up in high school that was suggested by Sero.  

 “I am in love you, (Y/n). And one day, you’ll be my wife. Mark my words.” You suck on your teeth. “The devil is a liar.”   

  Now in your mid-twenties, Shouto still asks you to be his wife. This has been going on for what? Ten years or something?    

“Would you like to see me on one knee? Because I'll do it right here.” You step on his foot lightly. “No, you won’t, a public proposal is embarrassing.”   

He hums and moves to get down. You yank him up. “Stop that!” Embarrassed, you look around and see a few people watching. 

“This is why I don’t trust you.” That’s the gospel truth. At any moment he could turn on you.   

 “One day you will.”    

 You shake your head no. “You’re lying to everyone. All of these people, too. You are a shady bastard. What the hell is going on anyway?”   

“All you need to know is that I am still your Shouto.” You look up at him. “Which Shouto is that?”    

“All of me. Every side of me will love you beyond the end. Not a single part of me will hurt you, this I swear.” You stop moving. And really look at him. He is still Shouto, right? Can he be saved?  

“What have you gotten yourself into, Shouto? Is there a way out?”   

“The less you know, my soba noodle, the better.”  He kisses your knuckles as the song is over.   

He keeps saying that. And the more he talks the more it seems to be the best thing for you. Because, in an odd sense, it’s comforting. Whether or not it is in the worst way is up for interpretation.    

At night you hear the screams of people begging for mercy. You hear children weeping in the dark with no light to find them. Red is everywhere with Shouto in the middle of the room. He gazes into your eyes as you look around. Then, a single hand is extended towards you with Shouto giving you a hopeful look.    

This is the dream you’ve been having ever since that fateful night when you saw the side of Shouto you never wanted to see. One that you never thought was there had met you with a terrifying turn of its head.    

Before the dance, that dream started to fade. But then Shouto held you and it came back with a vengeance. Only this time, it feels more real than ever. Now you are waking up covered in sweat and checking around to see if there is any evidence of the dream. This can’t continue.    

You spy Izuku, Tenya, and Katsuki enter Izuku’s apartment building. This is the perfect time to free yourself of all of this.    

 You danced with Shouto and for a moment it felt normal. Then at night, you are reminded of what you saw. Shouto with rolled-up sleeves, blood on his arms, and specks on his face. Cold and fierce eyes and skin that kissed the moonlight, giving him a beautiful glow, that in the situation, looked more evil than it did angelic. Like an entity of darkness manifested in the moonlight. A rejected angel covered in blood rather than holy water. All of that came back to you when you saw him again.    

The way he held you reminded you of him before all of this. The way you knew him before he killed or before you found out he had this vicious side of him. Everything has changed now. And the only way to get rid of that vision of the rejected angel is to put him behind bars.   

This secret can’t be held any longer, not by yourself. It breaks your heart as you mourn a friend, hell, maybe even someone who you’d marry.    

You never saw yourself with anyone else. And now you are willing to end that future for everyone’s sake. Who knows who he’ll attack next, right?   

  This is your Shouto. The one whose laugh that only you know and whose smile that you keep in your chest. The one who makes your heart flutter. Your heart aches as you run to Izuku’s apartment building and run up the stairs. You stop midway and wipe your face as tears flow. You are cursing up a storm and praying that there won't be any evidence of your tears.  

 If anyone can stop this, they can. They're good people you have known for years. You may not have the strength to turn him in, but they do. 

 You knock on the door. “Izuku, it’s me! Open the hell up!” You hear nothing at first until Katsuki opens the door with a frown. “You shouldn’t be here, (Y/n).”   

Katsuki, despite his aggressive nature, has never been that way with you. At first he was prickly then after knowing you for some time, Katsuki just didn’t have an issue with you. 

“Katsuki, we need to talk, please.”    

He reluctantly lets you in and turns to his friends. “She’s here.”    

“Hello, (Y/n).” Tenya waves and asks what brings you here. There is something off about his voice. Maybe it is what Shouto did and the dance that is throwing you off. The atmosphere is different from what you are used to with them as well. It is reminiscent of the party but on a bigger scale. Like they are waiting on an eggshell or something? Shifting eyes back and forth at each other, waiting for you to speak.

Paranoia is to blame, surely. It is because for the first time in months, you had been with Shouto in what seemed like an innocent if not romantic dance. You were in the arms of a murderer, and it has been weighing on you like the mountain of bodies that is surely on Shouto’s list.

These are your friends. These are justice-loving people that will help you. They have the strength to do what you can’t.  

You hear the door close behind you. All three men wait patiently for you to answer. You’re jittery and pace around the floor. “I need help or advice or something.”   

“Like what?” Tenya sits back on the arm of the brown leather couch. Izuku comes out of the kitchen with a couple of mugs. He sets them down on the coffee table and waits for you to continue.  

Taking a deep breath, you answer him. “What do you do if you saw something bad months ago? I mean, what if the bad thing was caused by a friend, what do you do?”   

 All three men go stiff. Tenya is the first to speak. “Depends on the situation. Some things are better off unsaid.”   

 Izuku nods at Tenya’s words. “Some things just have to be sorted on their own.” Izuku adds.   

 These aren’t the answers you were looking for. You try to explain your case further.

“I saw Shouto kill a few people and this guy limped away. I don’t know what happened to him. I haven’t told anyone but I feel like I should. I know it’s unbelievable, but it happened. I saw it with my own eyes. ”   

You know that it doesn't sound like the Shouto they know. You are prepared to defend what you saw even though you don't have the slightest bit of evidence. 

“Don’t say shit.” You turn to see Katsuki cross his arms. His words confuse you even further, especially since it is someone who had such tremendous growth. Katsuki wants you to give up. You struggle to get your words out. “But-”   

“(Y/n), before you say another word, do yourself a favor and drop it.” Izuku, the sweet nerdy, righteous man, stares at you. His once joyous, green, round, eyes are absent and are replaced with something hard and cold. This is totally out of character. Never would he ever-  

Suddenly, it dawns on you. The entire thing is finally setting in.    

They're in on it. There is no way they would ever say for you to drop it if they weren't, even if their life were on the line or some shit. When you entered the apartment, it was a little off, but it is worse now that you have told what you saw. Now it is tense and even more unfamiliar with these friends of yours. Like confronting Shouto is an unwelcomed notion  and what you saw is something that they also need to keep secret.   

Recently, you’ve felt like you were being watched. And sometimes you turn around to see no one. Most often, however, it is a friend from U.A. When you saw them, you didn’t feel the least bit worried. You felt a lot safer knowing it was a former classmate, a friend, someone you hold dear.  

Now it makes sense. Every single classmate is in on it. The party or gala thing you went to was nothing but an inspection of the other attendants who may have been a part of something bad too.    

You accounted their behaviors at the time due to stress. Never did you think they would ever participate in such wickedness. Now that you are piecing everything together, you remember how your classmates were acting. Their positions at the party, and how only a few were mingling and dancing. They were working, and not a nine-to-five job. No, it was all for Shouto.    

The less you know, the better. Something a gangster would say to a mob wife or a yakuza wife. You don’t know fully.   

After a few moments, you take a guess, “Is Shouto the one in charge?”   

“Yes,” says Katsuki. “And it is best if you go home.”    

There it is.   

 “How could you guys? Tenya, what about the lost children?” You want to cry so badly.    

He always said he’d save the lost and crying children. So, how can he be this way? In a gang, mafia, yakuza type shit? What else could it be if everyone is in on it as a group? You admired him so much and were proud that he was your class president.    

How did this all come about anyway? Was Shouto born into it, or did he make it by himself? How did they get wrapped into it? How did you not notice?  

“Go home, (Y/n).” Izuku coldly says. He is usually so warm and thoughtful. So comforting and generous. Never would he talk to anyone this way. Especially you, who he considers a close friend. “Izuku...”   

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” Katsuki tries to lead you to the door, but you jump away from him.    

“Be honest you guys! What about the crying kids? How can you save them if you are the ones making them cry? Your guys’ fucking dreams of being some type of heroes?”    

 Izuku stalks towards you. “I am being nice. Go home.” He hisses. This whole thing is unbelievable. It is totally out of character for them, especially Izuku. Your eyes are getting watery. You're scared, too.    

“Be gentle, Izuku!” Tenya stands and comes to your defense. “Deku, you’re on thin ice. You know better when it’s her.” Katsuki warns.    

Izuku turns to his friends. “She won’t go if we don’t.” You get what he’s talking about. That you won’t leave if they aren’t rough because you’re in disbelief.  

You slowly reach for Tenya. “Tenya...”  

“There are different ways to being a good person.” Tenya replies, straightening his back. His eyes meet yours. An indigo color covered by glasses, like high school.   

You can't help but release a laugh. “What kind of a fucking good person kills people and collects money right after? I saw Shouto do that!”  Katsuki sharply calls your name and he comes towards you. Ignoring him, you continue. “What is going on? What is this?”   

You want to hear them say it. They need to confess what this all is or at least correct your theory. To say it isn’t so, to say that it is all a mistake, to prove you wrong and laugh about it as a joke. At this moment, you’re willing to be the victim of a prank, no matter how much you hate that.    

Katsuki sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “Shouto will explain it to you. Right now, you need to go home.” You shake your head no. “Tell me it’s a lie then!”   

 Izuku suddenly whips out his phone. He dials a number and much to your surprise, Shouto is on the line. “She’s here.”   

You gasp and back up. He's the last person you want to see right now. You look at Tenya and ask about the crying children again. All he does is stare at you dead on with an ounce of pity.    

“Katsuki...what about winning to save?”   

“I am winning.” You shake your head. “How is that possible? I saw him kill people. If you’re rolling with him, then-”   

Izuku catches your attention again. His glare is on par with Shouto’s in high school. You can’t hear what he’s saying because of the thumping in your ears. “You motherfucker...”  You curse.  

He’s telling on you. Wait, telling on you? Since when did Shouto become the authority for you?   

Izuku one last time says, “The less you know, the better. Trust us and go home.”  Trust?  

“I can’t save you and Shouto, can I?” Your lip wobbles as you see the three of them with their head down. Whatever they’re in, they are too far gone. Yes, you wanted to turn Shouto in. But you wanted them to do it since you couldn’t actually bring yourself to. It was too painful and even then it ate at you. You don't want this for them and Shouto. For them to be in that life.   

  They wanted to be some kind of hero. To be good people and stand up for what’s right. If that’s the case, then what is this?  

You can’t save him or any of them. You can’t bring yourself to turn any of them in.  What kind of hero are you?  

You take off, no longer wishing to stay in their presence, and demand answers. It hurts too much. The class of U.A. is your family. When no one loved you, they did, and you loved them just as much. They're murderers. Some kind of gang-type shit. Something you aren’t equipped for. You don't know what to do with this information now that you see the stain from the blood on their hands.   

Entering your home, you lock the doors and windows. You close the curtains and place furniture in front of the door. Turning off the lights, you head to a corner and sit down. Self-preservation is clawing at you to call someone but your loyalty and heartbreak prevent you from doing so.  

As you hold your phone, you think of Shouto. You think of the way Izuku was pushing you out to stop asking questions and Tenya and Katsuki’s scolding. You think of all of the ways you’ve felt safe with them.    

  Have they ever harmed you? No. However, they have harmed others. If they are with Shouto, then no doubt. Yet, they protect you, don’t they? The longer you think about it, the more you see it clearly. That sense of safety and not a single sign of aggression or hostility. Not a single person, classmate or not, has wronged you when they were there.    

I s this why you feel like a traitor? Have you always been loyal to them and most of all, Shouto? The phone in your hand starts to shake when you stop typing the numbers. It's not so bad to have friends like this. So far, so good, right? The thought starts to calm you down.  

“Why are you hiding?”   

You scream at the top of your lungs. His eyes have a confused look in them, and his head is cocked. Shouto rubs his ear and raises his eyebrow. “Damn, you have good lungs.”   

For only a moment, you freeze. Suddenly, the flight kicks in and you take off. Shouto calls for your name gently and runs behind you. “Stop! Just give me a minute!”   

  “No!” You turn a corner to your kitchen. How he managed to grab you when you had a head start, you’ll never know. “(Y/n), please, it’s okay.”    

 The deep voice that you have always been familiar with is calm and soothing. Against your better judgment, you stop. “How did you get in?”   

“You literally gave us a key years ago.” Shit, you did. How could you have forgotten. It was when you first got this place, too. So, all this time he could have just barged in here and you would have been totally clueless. Bummer.    

“That doesn’t give you the right to be here when I'm not.” He sighs. “Please, let me talk.”    

He guides you to the couch. Shouto looks for the words to say to you as he takes a deep breath.  

 “I know you’re confused. Just please listen to me,” He adjusts himself to face you. “Yes, we are a little different. But we are still us. We’re still your friends. We've never lied about our friendship,” Shouto hesitantly touches your hand as if he is afraid you’ll jump away or worse. “And I have not lied about my love.”   

You look at the ceiling and wipe your other hand on your pants. “I’m gonna die.”  

“No, you won’t.”   

“Ha! Oh yeah? What about everyone else?” You challenge, side eyeing him. He sighs and looks down for a moment. “Only when crossed, I swear. We aren’t beasts."  

You feel a tear stream down your face. The feelings are conflicting and are starting to hurt. “You’re still scary.”   

“I’m so sorry you saw that, honest. That's why no one ever said anything. I didn’t want you to think I was some kind of monster.” He whispers as his pinky grazes yours. He almost sounds as if he is ashamed. Some part of you wonders if he is. “You will never be harmed in any way. You are safe, on my life.”  

Somehow, Shouto's words start to work. Perhaps everything is suddenly crashing down. Maybe it is just reality settling in or you finally admitting your feelings for him rather than playfully keeping him on his toes. Despite your earlier reservations, your fear and worries melt away. You lean into his touch and warmth.  

You swing one more time. Just once more. "What is all of this, Shouto? How do you get out of it?"  

"(Y/n), the less you know, the better. Trust in me."  You start to believe those words. You start to believe Shouto.  

 If only for the moment.    

[trashworldblog]

Hi again, it's the anon who asked if Watcher TV was worth it! Thank you for such an in depth response, I think I will definitely get it hehe. It took me so long to answer because I was busy with moving and missed that my anon was answered! Once my wallet recovers from the move I'm going to get the full year, I LOVE BTS content as it usually has some really funny bits so that'll be fun :)

Loving the new Too Many Spirits on youtube right now, it's so funny!

hi watcher tv anon! thats great! i hope your move went well! also YES. JOKERFIED TMS IS EVERYTHING. ANND new bts stuff got added like road files that takes you on the road for the filming of ghost files [i believe theyre doing the whole season. dont quote me on that!] and evidence room where you get to see all the evidence they gathered in the location without background music, including exclusive evidence they cut out.

PLUS the round table episodes! weird wonderful woundtable is so fun if youre intrested in chattn about weird wounderful world! shane chats to ryan, charlie, violet, and some more lovely watcher folk vital to making www happen and its so great hearing their end of it all coming together. my favorite episodes are definitely the ones with charlie and violet in them because they both have a lot to share about what they do for the show. specifically violet has a funny story about the woodworking episode that i really enjoyed listening to.

i dont remember if i mentioned the travel season roundtable episodes last time but fuck it ill talk about them again. they are so great to listen to. they break down the show really well.

we also got www s3 bloopers! and we get to ask qs for ghost files debreif

also there was a 40% off annual subscription deal because of ghost files starting up but im not sure if thats still valid

anyways. hope you enjoy the sub when you get it !! and get to enjoy ghost files and all the bts perks and discord perks that come with it too :D

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I appreciate the breakdown (you do a great job with those). I just think she's afraid for herself and for what a tragedy could do to Miles. I just dont like the term shutting down lol. Up to this point, she believes in these canon events. I think it pains her that she can't hold his hand like she wants to. She would love nothing more to believe that "There's a first time for everything".

Funny enough, the next time se see them is on top of the rooftop with her saying feelings make her hungry

@underthestyx

Okay, seems more than one person had asked me about this, let's talk about it.

Like I indicated in the analysis, a lot of stuff is happening on that scene, we have multiple moments with Gwen kind of pulling away just to also get a bit closer, as I said earlier, a lot of push and pull.

I don't think there can be a definitive answer for sure in this situation, since Gwen again, didn't say "no" or "yes," at any moment, the things she said were drowned in subtext that make me glad not being the one at the other end of that conversation because I would had probably left very confused.

Perhaps shutting down is too strong of a word for what is happening in this context, she isn't saying outright no so I guess it cannot qualify.

However, why I am still on the fence about this?

Well, I will be the first to admit that personal biases come into play.

I am a person that tries to go more than for what is being said that other signals, mostly because I am not good reading them. Is easier in media and more in animation since everything has a purpose and a reason to be; but in real life something that is being done and said in a certain tone can have another 50 factors not related to me and I have no way to know which one is which.

Something I learned along the way is that regardless if is a lie or the true, people say what they say because they want you to believe it; and the reason as to why they want you to think that can be more important than the actual answer at times.

Ultimately I think either read is valid because the situation is extremely ambiguous; Gwen doesn't take the next step to what would be actually dating, yet always stays close and makes sure to Miles to know that he is special to her and she sees him in a light different than everyone else, even if she can't bring herself to say which light.

Yet I can't see it in any other way because for me, she leaving his comment hanging after talking about not being a good idea, outweighs the rest.

Sorry to anyone who was expecting me to go into an even more in depth analysis to justify my point; but I had been on the internet for too long to think is a good idea to double down on something when you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

And I am glad we can hear other people out! I wanted to do these analysis because I think there is a lot of merit to what is going on in the screen that is worth talking.

So let's continue with the conversation, feel free to reblog with your own addendum or do your own post if you feel inclined.