#so I've been mulling and this is what I've got on the subject

[queenlucythevaliant]

Here's what I'll say regarding choice of worship music (and I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this, so bear with me): I think it's very easy to get burned out on specific kinds of worship, no matter what they are. And that kind of burn-out is hard.

I grew up at a church that did 95% CCM for worship, and after a while it either (a) exhausted me emotionally or (b) bored me. By the time I hit high school, I really really struggled with corporate worship because it felt as though I wasn't responding as I was supposed to. Getting to sing mostly hymns at the church I attended at college was a huge breath of fresh air, and it helped me immensely in terms of re-orienting my heart towards Christ-centered worship (as opposed to me-centered worship.) For the first time in my life, I found myself listening to Christian music on my own time during the week.

I watched the recent Jesus Revolution movie with mom over the summer. Her family started attending Calvary Chapel (then-nascent hippy church in Orange County) midway through her childhood, and she got really excited talking about the difference between the hymns she remembered from early elementary school ("we sang the whole hymnal rather than selecting for the really good ones like they do at your church") and the much more dynamic music that came out of Maranatha and other early "contemporary" Christian groups. She actually played me a whole bunch of the songs she grew up with the next morning. They sounded horrifically cheesy to me, but she got real joy out of it and even ended up texting a few songs to my aunt.

And yet, my mom has remarked a whole bunch of times to me that she really can't stand current CCM; that she desperately misses singing the old hymns. I look at myself and my own experience and I can totally see myself coming back to some of the CCM songs I grew up with and encountering Christ through them all new again. As recently as last month, I had a really beautiful experience driving back from a concert crazy late at night with my sister and listening to some of the old Chris Tomlin and Hillsong stuff that I hadn't heard in a while. It brought me back to a sense of incredible comfort and safety nestled up against God like a baby chick. Do I want to worship with that sort of music every week right now? No, definitely not. But it has its place.

Obviously worship transcends something as incidental as music genre. It's an expression of why we were created: glorifying God and enjoying him forever --- and yet, because of the fall, it's really easy to get burned out on specific expressions of worship. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing so much as just a symptom of the fall. I also think that people who are really burned out on a particular kind of worship can be really, really obnoxious about it. I know I was for a while, and I still definitely have my hangups with CCM.

But like- I don't think it's so much about judgement or superiority towards the kind of worship music that you're burnt out on as it is just the overwhelming sense that that kind of worship music felt exhausting and this kind of music actually feels like I'm able to worship again. I know when I started singing hymns at church, it just felt like I'd found the Rosetta Stone. I was suddenly so much less in my own head on Sunday mornings and oh my goodness singing to God was a joy again and I can't remember but I don't think it's ever been a joy like this before has it?? It was almost like my head was spinning with some great new revelation and when I was obnoxious about it it was mostly a manifestation of my being like Why didn't anyone ever tell me it could be like this? Why isn't everyone singing hymns? It's just so much better this way!

Mostly, it just feels like saying "don't be overly critical of how other Christians like to worship" kind of. Misses the trees for the forest, if that makes sense? Like, it's accurate to the big picture, it's absolutely a true and worthwhile thing to say. But at the same time it kind of rankles for me because it misses how it feels to be truly and deeply alienated by the kind of worship you're exposed to.

For better and for worse, worship is (I think) the spiritual discipline that engages the emotions most directly. The feeling of being in a group of people all worshipping together, and your heart just isn't responding right no matter how you try to re-focus and orient it? It's one of the loneliest feelings I know.

[penguinsravioli]

Crush Confessions

❝⁺ ₊ ✦⋆ ｡ ˚chapter 3❝⁺ ₊ ✦⋆ ｡ ˚ Anthony Vaughn x Reader

I turn my music up a bit louder when I enter school to avoid all the nonsense around me. It's such a great distracter, and I only have to speak when i’m spoken too. While I'm zoned out and mulling in my thoughts, I slip on something on the ground and bust my ass. “FUCK!” 

I groan while people giggle. “I’m so fucking sorry— some asshole just threw my shit on the ground” Amerie, begins to help me up, then immediately rushes to pick all of her things from the ground. “Nah it's- you're good don't worry. It’s not your fault.” I rub the cheek I fell on while helping her pick up some of the items on the ground. Dusty comes by next to us and crouches, helping her out with the mess.

“Cool shirt” He comments toward Amerie when we all begin to stand up. “Thanks!” She smiles. 

“Name one DZ Death Rays song,”

Spider says from behind me. I roll my eyes “Shut up, Spider” Amerie and Dusty say in sync. I chuckle dusting off my hands and watching him walk off offended. I pick my backpack from the ground, searching through it to make sure my water bottle didn't accidentally snap open from my fall. “How’d you pull off after the cemetery?” I overhear Amerie say to Dusty as I check my belongings. I bat my eyes toward him, he avoids eye contact with Amerie and accidentally looks towards me. I caught him taking Harper back to his place. So I reckon things were a bit nuts after Cemetery huh?

 “Oh yeah, Hangover anxiety and stuff. But all good, yeah…you?” I look away, zipping my backpack up,—taking my phone out from my backpack to make sure my hair is still intact. “Yeah had a really great night” 

“I’m uh, I'm gonna dip, sorry I tripped on your shit Ams” She turns toward me. “Oh, no bigs” I smile at her and walk off, allowing the two to finish their conversation.  I sit at one of the open outdoor tables, turning up my music as loud as possible, I have a freebie, so I want to try and finish a bunch of missing work because I’ve literally been such a Gronk recently. I pull out my notebook and mechanical pencil, deciding to work on maths first to get it over with. “I just realized, how much I hate maths again” I groan at my stupidity and lack of knowledge around the subject. “What’s all this?” I look up and see Darren staring at me, accompanied by Quinni. “Oh, I have a free period so i'm trying to get all my missing maths work done so I don't have to look at it again” They both begin to sit down with me at the table. “Good on you,” Darren says, looking at the papers on the table, grabbing a few to inspect. “Thanks Darren.” They shrug. “Are you going to Dusty's party Friday?” Quinni begins while I write down some formulas. “Uhh, what party?”

“He’s having a gatho to promote his band or something” Darren explains, pulling out their phone to show me the recent posts. “I didn't even see that, I haven't been on socials inna minute” They nod. “Hope we get to see you there. You always look so hot at parties.” “Says you!” I giggle. “We haven’t had a chat inna bit, how have you two been? I see you’re hanging with Amerie”

“Recovering from unfortunate events” Darren sighs. “Amerie is really sweet though when you get to know her!” Quinni pipes in. I nod, I don't think she means to have odd intentions sometimes. I just think she has a really big ego. 

“I mean yeah, but I got in some trouble off of that map.” I scratch my neck at the awkward talks I've had ever since news got out to my parents that I not only hooked up with a boy they’ve never met, but a girl I’ve brought over numerous amount of times during childhood. “Hey, maybe we can talk about it some more about it over the weekend, we all haven't hung out since like middle” Quinni comments. “I know that’s totally my fault. I think the only person I’ve really stayed in touch with is Ca$h..” Darren's eyes widen a little bit. “Ca$h? I had no idea you two were even friends”  I chuckle. “We just don’t hang out a lot during school. He’s always out doing something” I threw my hands in the air dismissively. “We have so much to catch up on obviously” I breathlessly laugh. Darren and Quinni smile knowingly, beginning to rise from their seats.

“Well, talk later (nickname)” 

“Later!” I lightly wave at the two before placing my headphones back over my ears. I don't hang out with people, inside or out. Not because I don’t want to, but because I feel like a liability. I have so many friends that I know care about me but for some reason, I just feel like because of how distant I can be as a person they would soon get sick of my behavior and just dip. 

So I kind of just dip first

“In this demonstration, we learn how to respect people’s boundaries” I watch in disbelief at the video being displayed. It's incredible how outdated a sexual education video can be. “This is implausible” I mumble, rubbing my eyes and blinking heavily.

“Okay, miss, I have no idea what that was trying to teach us” Darren throws his hand upwards when the video ends. Quinni turns with her question “Why was the girl forcing everyone to eat her noodles?”.

“It's because it's misogynistic propaganda! Women aren't such dick-obsessed idiots” Sasha chips in. I lay my head on the table playing with my earplug wires looking toward the next speaker. “Uuuh, all the ones I’ve met are” Spider claims. “Your Sims girlfriend doesn't count Spider.” Harper pokes. “Was it supposed to be a joke?” I look up at Malakai. “Uh, no, it’s about the dangers of sharing intimate—”  “Noodles” Dusty interupptes Jojo. I giggle a little bit. “Forget about the noodles.” She sighs. “I'm trying but it's hard to unsee” Ant snickers. “It's basically telling us to be ashamed of our bodies” Darren voices his opinion. The constant debate between what the video was supposed to be about and why it's wrong to share nudes gets wicked tiring real quickly. “Look I get that this video isn’t going to stop you. But! There are ways to be smarter about it. Like, what if you don’t put your face in it”  “Truth” I spill replying to JoJo in my half-listening half-not-state. “But I have a very recognizable dick miss” Ant jokes, my face heats up a bit. “I'm gonna ignore that” Yeah, me to Jojo. “Like take the photo, fine. But keep yourself incognito.” She lists a few ways to have fun with it but without getting yourself into trouble. And then Woodsy interrupts it with a scowl. “Um! Moving on to the next lesson”

When the class finally ends I’m already done I feel like I’ve lost a few brain cells and my hands are practically going numb from laying on them. As I stretch while I’m walking, I bump into someone behind me. “Oh shit my fault” I look at the victim of my actions and it happens to be Ant. Of course. “No need to be sorry gorgeous” he wraps his arms around my waist pulling me in closer. “Don’t you have better things to do rather than constrict me from my travels?” 

“No, I think this is the best thing on my list so far.” I scoff lightly, softly unraveling his hands from my waist. “How have things been at home since the map?” I ask as we walk toward the front entrance. “They suck, my moms, making me go to church like 3 times more. All because I got a wristy”

“Real, my parents are appalled a girl went down on me” I chuckle. He snorts a bit, looking at his shoes as he walks. “But I think I'm cooked for life to be honest. They definitely won't forgive me because they feel that I've lied to them. They’ve also been keeping me inside like a prisoner” I whine. His smile fades a little bit. “Oh, so does that mean you won't be coming to Dusty's party?” I scoff, “Of course I’m going” His smile returns almost instantly. “Really? Cause I snagged you a wrist band” He holds up the red band, slapping it onto my wrist. I smile holding my arm up to look at it. “How much?” He waves his hands back n’ forth. “No need babes.” He sucks in a breath to puff out his chest, “It’s on me” I laugh at his shenanigans. We ended up walking to his house just talking about random subjects the whole way there. “I don’t really wanna go in, wanna just chill out here?” He asks, looking at me a bit shyly.

“Sure” I reluctantly go to sit on the concrete ledge in front of his home. He sits next to me, playing with his gummy tray. I sigh looking at the water that's gracefully placed in front of his home. “You have the prettiest view ever,” I say as the breeze blows against my face. I can feel his eyes staring at me, in fatal attempt, I try to keep my eyes set on the scenery in front of me. I navigate my eyes as the waves move, then travel them towards Anthony. I glance at his face before shooting my head down toward our legs, which were nearby. “It’s about to be dark. I think I should start heading home now.” Ant pouts a bit, but agrees. I get up from my spot and dust off my jeans, hauling my backpack onto my shoulders. I examine Anthony one more time before waving and walking uphill. I cannot believe I feel this disappointed I couldn’t have spent more time with him.

It's finally Friday night, time to get all pretty. I put on makeup that compliments my features and skin tone but still looks flashy enough for a party. I gaze at the outfit picked out for the night, it's a blood-red shirt with lace lining at the top rim of the shirt and bottom. Tightened so it hugs my bust and waist perfectly. It was cut down the middle to reveal my stomach, I paired it with a low-waisted long black skirt. I threw on some small hoop earrings, a necklace, and some open-toed sandals because they were gonna be covered up by my skirt anyway.

I grab my bag and phone, ready to head out. I walk toward my window, jumping out soundly and quietly. I keep aware of my surroundings and quietly rush towards Ca$h, who thankfully, didn't mind me catching a ride with him.

 “Thank you Dougieeee” he scoffs with a soft grin. “Shut up cunt” he ushers, driving away from my house.

We’re reluctantly let inside upon arrival. “Dusty's house is gorgeous,” I comment, Ca$h nods. He was getting ready to sell, we were in a far-back sort of area, So we could be seen but still a bit hidden you know(we’re in the kitchen). Solid dealer stuff. I’ve been here for around 10 minutes now and even before then it was already pretty packed. I decide to have a look around the place. Traveling through the stairwells, the crowded hallways, and then I finally see Ant, he’s in his pretty basic attire. I wouldn’t have expected less from him anyway. He has a lime in his grip that he squeezes for the sour taste, he trades for the alcohol with Spider. I walk over with a smirk lining my features. “What are you two doing?” “Well, what does it look like?” Spider asks, removing the bottle from his lips. 

“The start of a poorly written porno” Spider shoves my shoulder while I giggle. Ant puts down the bottle. He scans me from top to bottom. “You look good” Anthony takes my hand to pull me toward him, and I push myself back a bit. “Thanks, you…well you tried” He rolls his eyes, a grin lacing his lips. Spider has since left the two of us to replace the lime since he dropped the other on the ground. Anthony sits up straight, leaning himself on the wall beside him slightly. “I like your makeup, and your skirt, you just look nice” I giggle at his now contentious rambling. Spider comes back but with a guitar strapped around him. 

“Woah, didn't know you played” He nods enthusiastically. “Yep, and I'm GREAT at it” He walks past me to the stage where Dusty and the rest of his band start setting up. “We should go check it out yeah?” I veer my view to Ant, who was already staring at me. “Yeah, Yeah—Totally” He clears his throat and lets me string him to a viewable area to see the stage. “Oi, (nickname) you made it” Malakai comes into my line of vision. “Yeah! You look sick” I nudge him a bit. His smile gets ever so more bright. “Says you! Literally ate up your outfit” I laugh at his comment. “Thank you! I was trying to impress Anthony but I guess it worked with you to” Anthony’s eyes open a little wide.

“Me?” 

“What?” I act clueless. “You were trying to impress me?” His eyes, now gaping into my soul stare back at me. “No…Yeah….No” I shyly look down at the floor before returning my vision toward the band on stage. Malakai smiles at me and Ant’s little interaction, now starting to focus on the band as well. 

“I'M A FAAAAAARRRRK” Spider yells into the microphone. Causing the crowd to yell back with laughs and eye-rolls. Dusty retrieves the mic “Thank you for coming out tonight. We are here in support of the Global Women’s Project” Cheers come from around. “Way to go, yeah! This shit is awesome..uh thanks Dad” Anthony and Malakai are giggling their asses off beside me, I pave my attention back toward the stage. “Yeah were Renaissance Titties and um, I just want to give a shout out to someone special in the audience. Um…There she is” 

Everyone turns, and he's pointing at Harper, Harper McLean.  “Hey…Harper...This song is for Harper McLean” There is so much happening at once. “It’s called ‘My Life is Nothing Without the Warm Embrace of your Sweet Left Cheek’”.

That's such a terrible song name.

Harper walks out, and then Amerie follows. “Oh shit” Anthony mutters underneath his breath.

“I hope they don’t fight over Dusty, he is so not worth it” 

[imperator-titus]

Favorite Party Banter [Minsc Edition]

[Astarion (Ascended)] [Halsin/Jaheira] [Gale] [Karlach] [Lae'zel] [Minsc] [Minthara] [Shadowheart] [Wyll]

I often miss party banter because of party comp (and sometimes just straight up can't hear??) so here's a collection of my favorite bants while going through dialogue files. I know the wiki has the banter (most? all?) but I added the file names and dev notes.

Either Minsc is the main speaker/subject or I think Minsc's reaction is good shit.

Not in any particular order.

[PB_Minsc_Astarion_UpperTracks]

Minsc: Oh, I do not know, Boo. If you buried the nuts here before we were stone, I am thinking they might have gone bad.

Astarion: Minsc! Enough! The hamster isn’t saying a damn thing and you know it.

Minsc: Well, Astarion. Boo is of good breeding, and so only speaks when he has something nice to say. {Devnote: Haughty, offended, ‘Well, I never’}

Minsc: Perhaps this is why he has never seen fit to speak to you.

Astarion: How delightfully vicious. I’m beginning to like the hamster.

[PB_Minsc_Astarion_EasternDocks]

Minsc: ASTARION! FISH! ASTARION! {Devnote: Struck by a brilliant idea, so excited he cannot use his words}

Astarion: Minsc, please - slow down. Use your words.

Minsc: Minsc has thought how you might be a more virtuous vampire - feast on fish instead. They are made of naught but neck! {Devnote: Delighted with himself, as if it’s a matter he’s been mulling over for some time. If he must travel with ‘bad’ people, he will try to make them ‘better’}

Astarion: It’s a sweet thought, but fish just doesn’t have the flavour of full-blooded red meat.

Minsc: No, you do not ‘agree’, Boo. I told you you have been spending far too much time around the pale one… {Devnote: Hushed, style of a whispered argument that’s been had before, trailing off to be discussed later. Minsc is worried that his hamster is being corrupted} 

[PB_Minsc_Astarion_BasiliskGate]

Minsc: Ah, but it is a fine thing to walk with friends beneath the warming sun! {Devnote: just spontaneously happy}

Astarion: 'Friends' might be a stretch, but otherwise - yes, I fully agree!

Minsc: You might have your cloudy locks to keep the heat off your head, but do not forget that Minsc has Boo! We will be like twins, eh?

Astarion: We will? Gods - two hundred years and I've never missed seeing my reflection more.

[PB_Minsc_Gale_HouseOfHope]

Minsc: Gale! You will perhaps be able to explain where Boo has not - what exactly is the difference between a devil and a demon?

Gale: A fascinating question, one that boils down to which criteria we choose to apply. Are we speaking about the physiological? Theological? Etymological? {Devnote: in teacher mode - up for an in-depth, intellectual discussion}

Minsc: Eh. Just how-to-kill…-ical. {Devnote: Nonplussed, echoing gale’s ending every word with ‘ical’}

Gale: Oh. Then for your purposes, they are exactly the same. {Devnote: Disappointed}

[PB_Minsc_Gale_ROM_Act3]

Minsc: Gale. Minsc worries you might send a fireball up his butt, with all of this stringy hair in your face.

Gale: Is that why you keep your head shaved? I assumed that was a custom of some sort. {Devnote: Curious, referring to Minsc’s origins}

Minsc: Oh, no! Most warriors of Rashmen wear long battle-braids, weighed down with stone. Minsc can show you, when next we camp?

Gale: Thank you, but I’m more wizard than warrior. I’m not sure my scalp would stand up to such a plaiting. {Devnote: very politely declining}

[PB_Minsc_Shadowheart_ROM_Act3_Selune]

Minsc: Shadowheart. I saw you pluck Boo from the ground, when you thought no one was watching. {Devnote: Had been mulling this, now broaching it}

Minsc: It pleases you, to hold him? And you have truly cleansed yourself of Shar? {Devnote: Suspicious, but giving the benefit of the doubt}

Shadowheart: I suppose you're right. On both counts. {Devnote: Arc: SH has turned from Shar, got to hold hamster}

Minsc: HMMMMMMMM. Then for one day only, you may carry him in your pocket. So long as it is clean. Padded. Well-aired. {devnote: Dubious but willing to extend this great honor to her against his better judgement. Listing off Boo's rider}

Minsc: And full of nuts! {Devnote: Rushing in the most important condition of all}

[PB_Minsc_Gale_SorcerousSundries]

Minsc: Minsc has never trusted places such as this. Too much of a wizard's power can be simply packaged and picked up. {Devnote: Grumbling as we make our way through the shelves at Sorcerous Sundries}

Minsc: Well, picked up by all but Minsc. When he touches the many delicate little jars, oh how the wizards shout and stare! {Devnote: revealing that his objection to Sorcerous Sundries is not in fact a philosophical belief that wizards have too much power - they just make him feel stupid and awkward when he pokes in their things}

Gale: Fear not, Minsc. You have a wizard at your side who positively encourages such curiosity. You'll fit right in. {Devnote: Reassuring}

Minsc: Obliged, wizard. Should we find our way to a weaponsmith, Minsc will rough you up a little - so that you too can fit in. {Devnote: Warm, comradely - would genuinely be doing Gale a favor}

[evieismol]

Big Bend - Chapter Three - Roommates

Cw: language

Previous

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.

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Zoey

I flopped down on my new bed. It was harder than most probably would have liked, but I'd never been picky. I'd just finished unpacking, and despite it being barely past noon, I already felt exhausted. 

Then again, I'd had an eventful past twenty four hours. I'd spent more than half that time driving through Texas. I'd arrived at an entirely unfamiliar and new place, one where I didn't know anyone. 

Well, I guess I know at least one person now. Technically two. 

I thought back to my meeting with Easton the night before. After he'd gotten John, the IMA agent had gotten in touch with my supervisor, Anne, who gave me directions to the HR office. After that, she'd showed me to the employee housing dorms, informing me that my roommate would be arriving tomorrow. Today, now. I'd never actually had a random roommate before. All I presently knew about my future living partner was that her name was Penelope, and she was a vampire. 

That seemed like it boded well, at least, because while vampires weren’t actually unable to go in the sunlight, they did prefer the night, and I was something of a night owl myself. Hopefully I at least wouldn't be bothering anyone if I stayed up late reading or knitting. 

I continued to stare at my ceiling as I mulled over everything that had happened - and was about to happen. I actually found myself beginning to drift to sleep, and I might have, had it not been for a knock on my door. I sat up, sliding off my bed. Making my way to the door, I pulled it open. 

A girl about my age stood there. She had long, dark brown hair, and tan, flawless skin. Anne stood next to her. 

“Zoey! I hope you've had a chance to get settled. This is Penelope. Penelope, Zoey.” 

I extended my hand. She shook it. Her hand was cold, but not unpleasantly so. 

“It's nice to meet you,” I said. 

“You too! I think this summer is going to be so fun!” She said, excitement sparkling in her eyes. “I love your pants, by the way.” she gestured down to the patchwork pants I was wearing. 

“Well, I'll let you two get to know each other,” Anne said. She gave us both one more smile, then turned to head down the hallway. 

“So, Anne said you're also working at the gift shop?” Penelope asked, pulling her two suitcases into the room. 

I nodded. “Yeah. You too?” 

“Yep! I've never done anything like this before - gotta say, I wasn't expecting it to be so remote out here! How are you liking it so far?” 

I was already getting the impression that Penelope was far more outgoing than me. 

“It's alright,” I said. “Can I help with luggage or anything?” 

“Nah, I'm good. This is everything - I left most of my stuff at my parents for the summer. So, what brought you out here?” 

I shrugged. “Just needed a job, and I saw this one online. You?” 

That was a highly abbreviated version of the events that had led up to me working at the park, but it wasn't technically a lie. 

“My best friend Angie got a job as a park ranger here - she's been working as a ranger at different parks for like, five years now - and I wasn't doing anything this summer, so we thought it would be super fun if I applied to a job at the gift shop! Ooh, speaking of which, would you mind if she came over in a few?” 

I shook my head. “Not at all.” 

“Awesome! She's on her way over!” 

I briefly wondered what she was going to do if I'd said no, given that it seemed she'd already told Angie it was fine. I didn't dwell on it beyond mild amusement, though. Penelope was already continuing. 

“You know, I've never been to Texas before. There's just so much desert out there! Where are you from?” 

“Connecticut, originally. But I've been living in Seattle the past few years.” 

“I’ve only been there like twice, but it seemed like a cool city,” Penelope said. “What brought you over there?” 

“A relationship. It didn't work out.” 

Thankfully, Penelope seemed to pick up the reluctance in my coffee, as she pivoted away from the subject. “That sucks. Angie and I are both from Colorado. Denver. I’ve lived there pretty much my whole life. I'm pretty sure she's lived too many places to count, on the other hand.” 

Another knock on the door interrupted Penelope. She spun around. 

“That's probably her! You'll love her, she's the best!” 

Penelope opened the door. Two people stood there, both about our age. The first was a tall, slim young woman with curly black hair and dark brown skin. The second was a young man with sandy colored hair and a tan that almost matched. 

“Angie!” Penelope exclaimed, pulling the girl into a hug. Angie returned it. When they parted, she gestured to the man. 

“Do you remember Dave? I worked with him a couple years back at Yosemite.” 

“Of course I remember Dave! How have you been?” 

Dave seemed to be more on the reserved side. Especially compared to Penelope. “Can’t complain,” he said. “You?” 

“Pretty good! Oh, this is Zoey! She’s working at the gift shop too! Zoey, this is my best friend Angie, and her friend Dave.” 

“Hi,” I said. I gave what felt like an awkward wave. 

“Do you guys wanna come in?” Penelope asked. 

“Sure!” Angie accepted her invitation enthusiastically. 

“Okay, so, you guys have to tell me everything. What’s the secret mission like? How’s it going? Have you met him yet?” As Dave and Angie entered the room, Penelope asked them a barrage of questions. I, for my part, had taken a seat on my bed. I raised an eyebrow. 

“Secret mission?” 

Angie and Dave exchanged a glance. 

“It’s not really a secret mission,” Angie began. “The Park Service is…taking part in a diplomatic experiment, sorta? Maybe you heard about how they were going to hire someone from Aphiria?”

I nodded. 

“Well, higher ups thought it would be a good idea if there was a core group of humans that mostly work with said Aphirial, to give everyone some stability.” 

“And that’s them!” Penelope interjected. “So, have you met him?” 

“Yeah,” Dave said flatly. 

“What's he like?” 

“He seems nice. Uh, his name's Easton. He was like a botanist on Aphiria I guess?” Angie responded.

“Is he really that giant? Like, bigger than a Tyastron?” Penelope asked. 

“Oh yeah. Very much so,” Angie said. “I'm sure you guys will meet him sooner or later, working here.” 

“...I met him last night, actually,” I said. 

Angie looked surprised. Dave, meanwhile, had unreadable expression. If I had to guess, it was somewhere between disdain and unease. 

“How'd that go?” He asked. 

“It was kind of fortunate, really, because I was super lost when I got here, and he got John to get in touch with Annie for me. He did seem really nice.” 

“So I'm the only one who hasn't met him? Dammit!” Penelope exclaimed. 

Angie laughed. “Seriously, I'm sure you will soon enough. He's kind of hard to miss.” 

 “I didn't realize how giant Aphirials really were,” I said in agreement. “I mean, I guess that's kind of a no shit statement, because they are giants, but-” 

“It's totally different in person?” Angie guessed. 

I nodded. “Yeah.” 

“I thought the same thing,” she replied. “Which I guess is probably to be expected, cus I don't think very many of us have met an Aphirial.” 

That was probably an understatement. Not only had I not met an Aphirial, I'd never even met anyone who'd met one. As far as I knew, at least. In fact, the only times I'd heard of them prior to this were one of three places. 

The first were horror movies and stories; there was pretty much a film genre dedicated to them, and they tended to pop up in urban legends fairly frequently too. I didn't know anyone who had actually met one, but I knew plenty of people who's fourth cousin's ex-wife's disowned sister's mailman (or something of that nature) had been killed or kidnapped by one. I'd always put as much stock in those stories as I did any other urban legends, which was to say, very little. 

The second was the occasional conspiracy video that pulled up in my recommended feeds. I didn't put much stock in those either. 

The third, and probably most boring, were mentions on the news. Usually just some aside about a new political agreement or diplomatic occurrence with their planet. They seemed to mostly keep to themselves across the galaxies, and it was only recently they'd started having more formal and frequent communication with other planet. 

After last night, I was fairly sure the massive size difference played at least some role in that. Humans, and other human sized earth dwellers, had gotten lucky when we'd become space faring - it turned out that we were pretty much average sized amongst other beings. There was some variation, to be sure, but it was usually within a couple of feet. Tyastrons were already considered giants at only a fraction of the height of an Aphirial. That probably meant our resources weren't particularly tempting to them, leaving little motivation to interact with other planets for much of history. Recent various galactic alignments had finally given some motivation in terms of not wanting to be the odd one out, from what I had heard. 

“God, that sounds so cool. I can't wait to meet him.” Penelope interrupted my thoughts. “Do you think he could pick up a car? A bus? Imagine being able to pick up a bus! That would be so freaky.” 

I thought I saw Dave shift slightly at that comment, but I wasn't sure. And even if I had been, I doubted it was my place to question that. 

I did, however, find myself wondering just how he'd ended up part of this “secret mission” if the unease I sensed was related to Easton. 

Next

[ravewing]

Could you talk about your infection au? I'm invested in it and I've been thinking about it all day

YES HULLO !! i dont want to spoil anything too much and im also working on a field guide sort of thing for the different stages of infection so im gonna try not to talk about those rite neow BUT im so glad that people r enjoying it! so id been seeing these scary mlp infection things ALLL over my tik tok feed for weeks and i was like .. yanno .. itd be really silly if i made this wof .. so i spent like 3 days mulling over what i could make the infection actually BE and i almost made it like the icewing plague but like it went scary but i didnt really know how to keep going with that so then i came up with a super smart idea which turned into this😋i dont wanna say where it started yet cuz ermm lore stuff but i will say that liek in the story the infection doesnt officially have a name yet so everyones just calling it like. the sickness at jade mountain. most of the infected originated IN jade mountain with the first symptoms being noticed in moon and turtle respectively, and then with the icewing students. i cant tell you guys how they got sick bc again . lore ..... but i think that its like kinda possible to find out. but i dunno. vulture and fierceteeth are also sick. there is ONE singular factor that unites these 4 + icewings, which miight b the reason WHY they got sick.kinkajou technically SHOULD be sick but she isnt for another reason that i cant say but if you really look into wof lore then i think u can figure it out idk. the infections transmitted via saliva/blood transmission, so mainly bites. tail barbs of infected sandwings are capable of spreading the sickness. there are 4 stages (5 if you count death) and it takes around 3 to 3.5 weeks for all stages to finish,, by ep3 the sickness has been around for ~2.5 weeks. the only KNOWN cure is amputation of wherever the infected area is,, so MUCH easier in early stages, unfortunate if its on an inconvenient spot, and impossible after hives start spreading. obvi flame had to be important bc i heart flame and i was like .. wait .. hes a healer in canon ...... so that worked out perfectly !! ik that in canon liana is like one of glorys MANY bodyguards but idc shes a healer here bc ermm i said so . also liana and mango r dating but i dont think that its relevant to the plot theyre just girlfriends in my head . as of right now kinkajou and peril are the only known immune dragons, with kinkajou for reasons currently unknown and peril bc . yknow . shes on fire . glory is in close contact with ruby and both kingdoms have taken measures to notify their kingdoms; the rainforest is under a sort of lockdown with rainwings on constant patrol/lookout for outsiders entering, they accept anyone who isnt infected to stay there for refuge while the skywing kingdom is in basically total lockdown other than ruby's messengers. ruby and glory also exchange their respective kingdoms medical knowledge, with the skywings having very good technology and rainwings having an expansive knowledge on medical herbs. nobody has heard from coral- the last thing she did was call for anemone's return back to the kingdom, and once she arrived, they all went underwater and have since then cut all outside contact. the mudwings are aware of the sickness but have so far done nothing about it; moorhen has warned her subjects but thats really it. i havent really decided what the sandwings or the icewings are up to but let me tell you guys its looking really rough for the icewings . so far it looks as though royal icewings are more resilient- tundras currently sick, but the sickness seems to be progressing much slower. this was initially believed to be because of the cold, but then other icewings started getting sick, and so its believed to just be a royal thing- likely something in their genetics. icicle is also sick but shes in stage 4 .. pray for my girl guys. lynx is helping snowfall out the best she can, but with the population getting increasingly sick seemingly spontaneously, its extremely difficult and stressful. the talons have quarantined sanctuary too. ok im outta characters but ya ty 4 the support!!

[tamras-shieldmaiden]

The subject of Kuvira's childhood has always intrigued me, and after the release of Ruins of the Empire, I've been mulling over some ideas, leading me to come up with some headcanons. A couple have found their way to my fanfics and since my muses are currently taking a breather after Lin week, I've decided to share some of the other headcanons I've come up with so far, so here they are:

Before she manifested her bending abilities, Kuvira had enjoyed a regular childhood. Her parents were strict, and her father, in particular, was known to be a disciplinarian. Things took a downward turn when they realized that the strange mishaps around the house (cracks in the wall, rocks that seemingly appeared out of nowhere around the house) and the reason why the little girl would return home with her clothes soiled with dirt were because she realized she could earthbend. Kuvira was the first bender in the family after several generations. The discovery hadn’t been a reason to rejoice for the couple because bending had mostly led to criminal careers for their relatives in the past, the most notorious example being of a great uncle who had been associated with a powerful daofei in Gaoling. Little Kuvira had noticed how disillusioned her father looked when she demonstrated her abilities to him, and his expression on that fateful day is something that is permanently branded in her memory.

As time went by and her abilities proved more powerful than anyone could’ve anticipated for a child her age, Kuvira's parents grew more overwhelmed by her bending and the damage it inflicted on their house, and in response, they began to turn cold and distant. The negative bias they had about bending prevented them from seeking a proper sifu for their child, judging benders to be self-serving and dangerous, and instead, they encouraged her to suppress it. The negative feedback Kuvira received in turn begat frustration, and she began to act out, not understanding why her parents were acting differently around her, what could be wrong with her, or why she couldn’t fit their expectations. She became an introverted child who didn't have friends. After the incident with her mom, neighbors feared her, and children had cruel names for her.

The child was cursed with a precocious ability coupled with cunning and a quick temper. She didn't have anyone around to realize that her mood swings happened because she got bored quickly and was desperate to properly control her bending. Her parents eventually realized that they were way out of their league to deal with this situation by themselves. Ironically, one of the reasons she later thrived in Zaofu was because she was provided with the proper outlets for her energy and her intellect. Music and the dance troupe, in particular, were instrumental in her development because it became a way to channel her energy into something productive while learning the ways bending could be applied for creative and non-violent purposes.

Her father had heard about the city of Zaofu through a group of merchants who had returned with stories about a city built in platinum by a powerful metal bender related to the Beifong family. For Kuvira’s father, who had recently dealt with the incident where Kuvira nearly killed her mother in an outburst and was at his wits' end, the news provided the opportunity he had been waiting for, so he told his convalescent wife to seek this master earthbender’s help, convincing her to send their daughter away under the pretext that it would be a temporary arrangement. Unbeknownst to her, he had no intention of bringing her back.

For a time, the sound of the wheels of a wooden cart approaching would startle Kuvira because she instinctively looked around to see if it was her father returning to take her back to the family.

During first months living in the Beifong estate, Suyin noticed Kuvira had kept her belongings in the humble travel pack she had arrived with as if expecting to depart. She liked spending as much time as possible outside the mansion because she wanted to keep vigilant about the people who arrived at the estate. Several times, Suyin had to fetch her from the city walls after receiving word from the guards because the girl had snuck out to ask the guards if they had seen her father arrive for her.

When people talked to her, she commented that she was there to learn earthbending, but it was a temporary arrangement, and as soon as her sifu gave word to her parents that she could control her bending, they would come back for her. But as time went by without word from them, her temper would flare at the smallest provocation as a way to hide her growing insecurity. During this time, she struggled deeply with guilt and from having hurt her mother, and she grew convinced that it was her fault that her family ended up separated and no longer wanted her back. It was during this period that she would lash out at Opal, whom she felt saw her as an intruder to the family, and it took a long time for their sibling rivalry to cool, although they never grew close. Kuvira's status as a prodigy only complicated things even further, as Opal saw Kuvira as a rival for her mom's attention. This rivalry between Opal and Kuvira was the reason why Kuvira believed she was never treated or considered as a Beifong, and once she acquired roles in the household, she saw herself to be more of a trusted employee than an adopted child.

It took time for Kuvira to make friends in Zaofu. Baatar reached out to her because he was also introverted, and despite his position as the matriarch’s firstborn, he struggled to make real friends, and those who gravitated around him did so to seek personal favors for their families. She realized he was a fellow outcast despite his status, and his praise gave her the validation she desperately wanted. Kuvira thrived on praise, and she would seek praise and approval, especially from Suyin. Suyin quickly became her role model, and Kuvira emulated her, going so far as to follow her in the matriarch's morning routine overseeing the city, and Kuvira ended up overcoming her introversion, learning her social skills from Su.

[rowyn-writes]

Cinnamon and Sugar

Chapter Five

Warnings: Self hate, mentions of abusive ex, mentions of a minor character death, fluff

Characters: Reader, Dean, Michael, Jo

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

You had been living with Dean for five weeks now, and everything felt surprisingly normal. You both woke up early in the morning for work, so you got to have breakfast together. You liked having someone to talk to before going to work.

It was five in the morning as you and Dean shuffled around the kitchen in a comfortable silence. You had made some eggs and bacon for the both of you while Dean got ready for work. Since Dean passed the coffee shop to get to work, he would drop you off, and in return, you made him coffee to get him ready for the day. 

"Mornin' sweetheart." Dean grumbles as he comes out of his room, yawning. His hair was still tousled from sleep. You chuckle softly at the sight.

"Morning, Dean. Forget to brush your hair?" You snorted. Dean laughs as he smooths down his hair.

"Maybe I was trying out a new style, Y/n, ever think of that?" He sniffed, pretending to be mad.

"Aw, c'mon now, you never change up your routine, so I find that highly unlikely. And besides, you can't be mad at me forever, I made you breakfast." You set his plate down on the table, pouring a glass of orange juice for him.

"I got damn lucky to have you as a roommate." He sighed happily as he ruffles your hair before sitting down at the table, tucking into his breakfast.

"I could say the same." You smile as you eat with him. Storm was still asleep on the window seal. Despite Dean buying a cat bed for him to get into his good graces, the cat refused to actually sleep in the bed. He just sniffed at it before going back to what he was doing.

Once you and Dean were finished with breakfast, he took the plates and put them in the dishwasher, starting a load. You went and grabbed your apron for work before heading out the door with Dean, sliding into his beautiful Impala. "I hope you know that if I actually still drove, I'd totally wanna take Baby for a joyride." You joked.

Dean laughs softly, his eyes crinkling up at the edges. "You're more than welcome to drive her anytime you need, sweetheart. I won't stop you."

"Oh, um, nah." You shook your head gently. "I don't really drive anymore. I um, I got into a really bad car crash about a year ago and I don't really drive anymore because of it." It was the first time you had really talked about the car crash with anyone other than Jo or Jack.

"I'm sorry to hear about that sweetheart. Was everyone alright?" He frowns, looking over at you.

"Oh, um, yeah, I just had a broken arm. . . The other driver was okay too." 

Dean could tell that you wanted to drop the subject. "So, I was thinking, you don't work tomorrow, right? And you're done with exams?"

"Yeah, why?" You tilt your head curiously.

"Well," Dean said as he pulled into the parking lot of Chuck's. "I was thinking that tonight we go to my favorite bar and have some drinks, my treat. They're having karaoke tonight too, and I think it would be a lot of fun."

You mulled it over for a moment. You didn't drink much, but you thought this would be a good chance to get to know Dean a little better and let loose some. "I think that'd be a lot of fun, actually." You give him a gentle smile. 

"Perfect, I get off work tonight at 5. I'll pick you up and take you home on my lunch break, I don't want you walking home alone or anything." Dean gives you a boyish grin, the one that you had come to adore. 

"Thanks, Dean, you have no idea how much I appreciate your kindness." And it was true. Dean was kind to you when it felt like you hit rock bottom. Being evicted from you apartment was rough, and you never expected him to offer his home up to you. Even though you hadn't known Dean long, you trusted him, and it seems that he trusted you. You hated to think about where you'd be without him right now.

"Don't mention it, sweetheart. I'm just glad I could help you out. I've been where you've been before. My life has never been put together in the slightest, and there was a time when I had no place to go. I really could have used some help, and I want to be that person for you." He said softly, looking over at you.

"Well, I know I'm not much, but I'm here, and I can be the support you need. We can help each other." You offer him a gentle smile.

"I like the sound of that, Y/n, thank you." You lean over and give him a quick hug. 

"I'll see you on your lunch break, then. Let me go make your coffee really quick." You went in and unlocked the doors, making Dean a brown sugar latte and grabbed him a scone before bringing it out to him. "Have a good day at work." I reach through the window and ruffle his hair before heading back inside to tackle the day.

Jo was the next person scheduled to come in, and you hoped it was one of those rare days that she was actually on time. You had talked to her many times before about her punctuality, but it never seemed to stick with her. She was your best friend, and you didn't want to have to reprimand her, but it seemed that it was going to have to come to that. Thankfully, she was on time today, and you didn't have to say anything to her.

"Thank god my car started." She said as she walked in, clocking in on the computer. "I was scared she wasn't gonna crank. I really need a new car."

"Well, you're here, that's all that matters. Today's a Wednesday, so I'm expecting it to be a good day for us. This is usually our dead day, so I think it should be okay with just the two of us until eleven when Maddison comes in."

The day went off without a hitch, the customers were nice, it was a slow day, and everything seemed peaceful. That is, until the end of your shift. Dean was on his lunch break and he was waiting for you to clock out so he could take you home. He didn't mind hanging out in the coffee shop, as he found it rather peaceful. The front door dinged, signaling that there was a customer inside. "Hey, welcome to Chuck's! We'll be right w-" You broke off as you stared up at the man in front of you. Michael. You could feel your heart pounding out your chest as he glared down at you. You hadn't seen him in nearly two months, what made him want to come confront you now?

"We need to talk." He said gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest. He was 6'3 and he towered over you. It was something that had always intimidated you, especially when you were together.

"We have nothing to talk about. You need to leave." You tried to make your voice sound strong and determined, but it came out as just a small squeak. You hated the affect he had on you. For years he made you feel small, and even after the break up, he could still make you feel that way.

"Oh we have plenty to talk about, Y/n. Like how one day you just changed the locks to the apartment and had all of my stuff sitting out in the hall?"

"And you're just now wanting to talk about this, huh? You had nearly two months to reach out to me and to talk about this, but you picked now as the prime opportunity? When I'm at work?"

"Oh please," He scoffed. "You can hardly call this a job. Besides, I've been busy with other things." Dean's head perked up at the sound of arguing. He looked over at you and Michael. He could clearly tell you were in distress.

"Michael, just fucking leave. You're not welcomed here. Our relationship is over and there's absolutely nothing for us to talk about. You cheated, you were abusive, you were a shitty ass boyfriend. What else do you want me to say? I've listed a billion reasons as to why we broke up and you still can't accept that."

"Don't speak to me like that." He grabbed your wrist. "I guess I better teach you some manners." You try to pull away from his grasp. Before you could even shout for help, a fist connected with Michael's jaw. 

Dean looked pissed as he grabbed Michael by the shirt, slamming him against the wall. "What kind of pathetic coward lays hands on a woman?" He growled as he punched him again. "Come near Y/n ever again, and I swear to God himself, there will not be anything stopping me from beating you within an inch of your sad life. Got it?!"

You had never seen Dean so angry before, let alone get physical with someone. "And what's it to you, huh?! Why the hell do you care for some whore so much? Oh, I get it, you're fucking her, huh?" Michael laughed, throwing his head back.

Dean said nothing in return as he punched him once more before throwing him out to door. "Don't ever come near her again." Dean snarled before going to check on you. "Are you alright? He didn't hurt you, did he? I swear to God-"

"Dean. . ." You hugged him tightly. "I'm okay, he didn't hurt me. . . Thank you for sticking up for me." You whisper, tears in your eyes. Maddison and Jo watched as Dean wrapped his arms around you protectively. 

"No one's going to hurt my best girl on my watch, I promise you that." He said lowly, gently rubbing your back. "I'm guessing he's your ex boyfriend?"

"Yeah, he is. . . I thought I was finally free of him, but he keeps popping back up like an infectious disease." You were holding back tears, not wanting to cry in front of Dean.

"C'mon sweetheart, let's get out of here." He wrapped his arm around you and led you out to his car. "Do you need me to stay with you? I can tell Bobby something came up." 

You shook your head gently. "No, that's okay. . . I don't want to impose. I'll be okay until you get off work tonight. . . Honestly, I don't even what to think about what just happened. And it doesn't even surprise me that he came here. I guess I was just hoping he'd forget about me." You ramble on, looking at your hands.

"You wouldn't be imposing, sugar." He said, his voice soft and gentle. "If you need me, I'm here, okay? There's not much goin' on at the shop today, so Bobby can afford to be on his own for the rest of the day."

You felt tears brim your eyes as you kept looking at your hands, refusing to look Dean in the eye. "I-I could use some company. . . If t-that's okay." You whispered quietly. Dean tilts your head up gently with his finger so you would look at him.

"I'll stay with you as long as you need, darlin'." He then surprised you by kissing your head. He was so caring and gentle with you, which was something you weren't used to. He drove back to the house, letting you pick the music for the drive. Once you got back, he called Bobby and explained the situation before following you inside. He grabbed some blankets and popped some popcorn. "So, what movie should we watch? Comedy, rom-com, action?" 

"You really don't have to do this for me, Dean. . ." You felt like a burden. You made Dean call out of work just so he could sit here and watch a movie with you. You were an awful friend and roommate.

"You're right, I don't have to, but I want to. . . You're my best friend, Y/n, I want to make sure that you're okay. You've had a stressful day, and you need to unwind a bit. Plus, work was slow, wasn't much for me to do. I'd much rather sit here with my favorite girl and cheer her up." He sits down beside you, draping his arm on the back of the couch. 

You leaned into his side, resting your head on his shoulder as you let the tears flow. "I-I just want to be rid of him. He never let's me have any peace."

"Shh," Dean whispered softly, running his fingers through your hair. "I'm here sweetheart. . . He won't hurt you as long as I'm around, okay?" He kissed your head again, making you feel comfort. Storm jumped up on the couch, settling himself in your lap, purring softly. "See, darlin'? Even Storm's here to help you." That made the tears stream down your face harder. It felt like you couldn't breathe. Everything that you had held in from the break up came bursting out all at once, despite your attempts at pushing it down. Dean held you in his arms as you cried. "Breathe, Y/n, I need you to breathe for me, okay?" He murmured gently. You tried to breathe, but it just came out as choked sobs. Your body was shaking as you cried. Dean let you know that he was here, and that you were safe. You knew he was right. Being in his arms was the safest place for you. You knew that Dean would never hurt you, and that he would do everything in his power to protect you. 

Once you had calmed down, you found your voice. "Thank you for being here." Your voice was raw and hoarse from crying. Dean didn't mention it, he just smiled softly, kissing your temple.

"Of course, sweetheart. What are friends for?" He continued to run his fingers through your hair, as he could tell that's what was keeping you grounded. "We don't have to go out tonight, we can go some other time, I'm sure that you're tired after the day you've had."

You thought it over for a moment. "Actually, I think I still want to go out tonight. . . I just need to feel normal, and show that what he did doesn't get to me." You state confidently.

Dean grins at your confidence. "That's my girl." He let you get ready for your night out with him. You picked a pair faded ripped jeans from your draw, a black blouse, and a black leather jacket. You combed through your hair, trying to find a style you liked, eventually settling on having it braided. You came out of your room with a smile. Dean let out a low whistle as he saw you.

"You clean up nicely, darlin'." He grins. He was wearing a green flannel over a black shirt that fit him nicely and a pair of faded blue jeans. You couldn't help but smile at the compliment. 

"Thanks, De. Shall we get going?" You grab you wallet as Dean grabs his keys.

"Let's go." He smiles, resting a hand on the small of your back as he leads you out the door. You were very aware of his hand against your back. But you shouldn't be thinking about that. Dean was your friend and roommate. You couldn't risk anything. You slid into the Impala as Dean going into the drivers seat. You grinned as the car roared to life. The car was absolutely gorgeous, and you'd love to have an old car like this. That is, if you still drove. Past pains rear its ugly head into your thoughts, making you think of things you wish you could forget. You push it aside. Tonight was about having fun with your best friend.

You showed the bouncer your ID and you were let into the bar with Dean. It was packed since it was karaoke night. You and Dean slid up to the bar, you ordered your favorite drink and Dean got a whiskey and coke. "So, ya thinking about gettin' up there and singing?" Dean smirked as he looked to you.

"Me? Nah, I can't really sing." You shrugged.

"One, that's bullshit. I hear you singing in the shower all the time and you sound amazing. And two, no one who sings karaoke can sing. I'll do it with you if you sing." He offered you up a smile. You could never resist that boyish smile he had.

"I hate you, I hope you know that." Despite your words, you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face.

"Say what you want sweetheart. But hey, you get to pick the song and I can't complain."

"Oh really?" You smirked. "So if I picked a Taylor Swift song, you wouldn't say anything?"

"Hey, I can get down with TSwizzle, okay?" Dean held up his hands in defense. You couldn't help the laughter that racked through your body. 

"You did not just say TSwizzle-" You continued to laugh, Dean joining in.

"All I'm sayin' is that you can pick whatever song you like."

You went up to the karaoke machine, scrolling through until you found the perfect duet for you two. I Remember Everything by Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves. "We're up next." You grin as you pull Dean towards the stage. Dean followed you up on stage, grabbing the mic. "Ready?" Dean nods as the song starts. Despite having never heard the song, he did it justice. You never knew Dean could sing. When you sang your parts together, Dean smiled over at you, his eyes gleaming. Once the song was over, he helped you down from the stage.

"Y/n, you were amazing! I knew you had a good voice, but damn, that was beautiful." He praised you, gently patting your shoulder.

"Me? Dean, I had no idea you could sing like that. You were fantastic!" You gently punch his shoulder.

Dean chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck as the tip of his ears turn pink. "Thank you, sweetheart, I appreciate it." He grinned.

"Aaand I think that some of the girls over there found your singing attractive." You chuckled as you looked over to a group of girls that were eyeballing Dean. "You should go talk to them!" You encouraged.

"Nah," He shook his head. "This night is about you and me, and celebrating our friendship." He gave you a smile. You couldn't help the small butterflies you felt in your stomach. Instead of going off with a girl, he wanted to spend time with you. But at the same time, you felt bad, because you felt like you were keeping him from having a fun time.

You felt like screaming at yourself, because you always did this. Every time there was something good going in your life, you found a way to get in your head and overthink things. You wished you could turn those voices in your head off. Sometimes those voices got particularly loud, especially in times like these. You tried to push them away and have a good time with Dean, but you couldn't help it.

"You okay, Y/n? You got really quiet all of a sudden." Dean said softly. Damnit, he knew you too well.

"Oh, yeah, it's um, it's just been a long day, y'know?" You cleared your throat, looking up at him.

"We can head home if you'd like?" He suggested, tilting his head to the side.

"No no, I'd hate to be a bother. You look like you're having so much fun, and I don't want to ruin that." You spoke softly.

"Sweetheart, if you're tired or you just don't feel up to being here anymore, you can tell me. I won't be upset. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or feel like you have to stay for my sake. Besides, I don't care where we are, as long as we're together, I'm happy to spend time with you."

You gave him a soft smile. "I just don't think I'm in the right headspace right now." You sighed. "It's just been a long day with a lot going on. . . I promise to make it up to you."

"Don't worry about it, Y/n, we can just spend some time together and watch a movie if you'd like?"

"I'd really like that, De. . . Thank you." You whispered gently. Dean ruffled your hair and went to pay for the tab. You rode home in a comfortable silence as Dean hummed along to the radio. You were stuck in your own head again, per usual. You were leaned against the window, feeling the cool glass on your cheek.

"Are you sure everything's alright, sweetheart?" He asked, looking over to you. "You've been awfully quiet."

"I dunno, I'm just really struggling mentally today. After everything that happened this afternoon, I just feel so. . . empty?"

"I get it darlin'. What do you need? Do you need some time by yourself, or do you wanna curl up on the couch with me and watch some Dr. Sexy MD?" He questioned, his voice gentle.

"I think that spending some time with you could help. . ." You couldn't help but smile. You felt safe with Dean, and even though you were having a tough time, you knew that everything was going to be okay as long as you were with him.

[amuseoffyre]

Mulling on the way Stede and Ed have both learned to talk around their desires and wishes, whether as a defence mechanism or because past experience has made them cautious about expressing themselves. This has led them to have very different ways of saying what they need in very carefully constructed way and sometimes, missing what the other is saying entirely.

Since it got long, I'll show mercy :)

I've written before about the way Stede leans into the passive voice in season one. He doesn't directly express an opinion, coming at it from the side so he can't be blamed if it's a bad suggestion.

A prime example is when he tries to dissuade Ed from going to the party by describing how bad it'll be (from his perspective) or when Ed's considering leaving and instead of asking him to stay, he says Ed doesn't need to rush off and "we're all enjoying your company".

Based on his past experience, it's no small wonder, when his every suggestion to his father was shot down with scorn and disdain. His likes and interests were mocked relentlessly and constantly criticised. Even Mary shouted at him about the ship which - he thought - was his idea of the best future for him with his family. For him, expressing how he's feeling is something that can be weaponised against him.

He not only hides his feelings, but when he's feeling especially bad, he hides himself as well. He leaves situations when he's distressed or unhappy: leaving his family, hiding in his cabin in 1x01, retreating in the party in 1x05, going back to the ship in 1x08, returning home in 1x09.

The one time he does express himself verbally to Ed, before the academy, he's mid-retreat to the ship. He's angry and upset and insulted by Calico Jack and is taking himself elsewhere, but Ed stops him and says he should stay.

And this is where I chew on their communication mismatches, because Stede has been sitting and sitting and sitting all day, all the negative stuff building, stoked by Jack's cheerfully applied passive aggression and manipulation. He's been smiling through it for Ed's sake and when he loses his temper, he falls into the same pattern of not being direct. He doesn't point the finger at Jack for his behaviour, which has been the trigger the whole time. He tells Ed "I don't like who you are around this guy", his focus being 'this guy' who has caused this change in Ed's behaviour.

But Ed hears it as something being wrong with him specifically. He doesn't hear that it's Jack's influence of behaviour. His own self-esteem is so brittle, he immediately takes this as being fully his fault and when he's given the choice to stay with Stede or go with Jack, he leaves and says "You were always going to see what I am."

This not only cements Stede's conviction that saying what he thinks aloud will get a negative response (in this case, Ed leaving), but also solidifies the fact that Ed is fully convinced that Stede would eventually come to dislike him as much as Ed dislikes himself. Neither of them said what the other thinks they said, but because it's informed by their own trauma and issues, they radically misinterpret the other's meaning.

Like Stede, Ed edges around directness as much as he possibly can. Given what we've seen of the people from his past, it's clear that honesty and earnestness are subject to mockery at best and, at worst, the thing he cares about will be taken away from him.

Instead, to avoid the risk of that, he tends to drop hints, make roundabout suggestions, uses metaphors and allegories, and tries to nudge people to understanding what he means/wants.

He doesn't want to leave but doesn't know if he's welcome to stay, so he just makes noises that he's thinking about moving on so an invitation will be extended. He doesn't care about the invitation to the party, but maybe, pfft, not like he's bothered, but they could go. Whatever.

If it does get to a point where he's upset he - like Stede - will try to remove himself from a situation and hide away. It happens in 1x06 during the fuckery, 1x10 inside the pillow fort, 2x04 at Mary and Anne's.

It's very telling that the times he does let his guard down a bit, it's when someone goes after him. He and Stede have their most direct conversations when Ed is hiding under a yellow blanket, even if Stede is still bemused by the 'doggy heaven' metaphor.

A lot of the time they're both like ships passing in the night when it comes to communicating because they're both trying so hard not to show too much vulnerability. It's there on the beach at the naval academy when Stede tries to deflect Ed from China by pointing out "it's quite far". It's there in Ed's fishing metaphor which has so many layers and Stede has no idea wtf is going on because he has none of the context.

Stede has learned to be more direct in S2, so much more so that he actually expresses his feelings and emotions aloud for the first time. He talks about it with Lucius, Zheng and Anne, even before he and Ed have their breakthrough in 1x04 when, at Anne and Mary's, Stede frankly and directly explains himself to Ed and it helps them get back on an even keel.

Ed isn't quite there yet, though, and this is why the fall out in 1x07 comes out of nowhere for Stede because he's missing a lot of the information that Ed has threaded into the metaphor.

He knows Ed doesn't want to be a pirate, but the subtext all through the fisherman conversation is like they're having two different conversations. Stede is being so much more direct by pointing out that Ed is panicking and offering options, but Ed is deflecting as a defence again.

What's lovely is that by the final scene, they're sort of getting to the same page. Awkwardly, tripping each other up a bit on the way, but they're getting there, realising there's a lot more to each other than they had understood before. The entire exchange has so much layered into it.

Stede: so we're innkeepers now? Ed: I thought we could give it a go. Unless you're having second thoughts. Stede: I'm not. Ed: It's a bit of a shithole. Stede: It's a fixer-upper. Good bones.

On one hand, it's about the building and oh the symbolism of him wanting to make a place where people choose to stay with him is aaaaaa.

On the other hand, it's both about Ed himself and their relationship. Ed couching his meaning in metaphors again and this time, Stede picks up the meaning, even if he doesn't fully get all the nuances of it. (also teehehehe 'good bones'. I bet there are)

They're working their way towards better communication, a little bit at a time. They've both had their lowest ebb, run in panic, and learned from it. There's still a lot of trauma and defence mechanisms to unpick, but they're getting there.

Now if Stede could stop bottling up his trauma and hiding them in his wine-cellar of the things, that'd be great.

[running-with-the-feels]

For the Demon Zombies au, Hanzo meets Frost

(@andybeanblog here ya go)

Hanzo: So you're immune

Frost: Yup

Hanzo: And you know this how?

Frost: I've been bit five times since I was twelve, haven't turned even a little bit

Bi-Han: Five?!

Frost: Yup

Bi-Han: Okay, you need to learn basic self preservation skills

Frost: Why? Not like I can turn

Hanzo: They can still kill you, that's kind of what they do

Frost: Oh.....hm

Bi-Han: Would that help? To find a cure, does knowing that someone is immune help?

Hanzo: It's......it's more complicated than that. I'd have to ask my wife first, and even then, there would need to be blood samples and tests to see why Frost is immune.

Hanzo turns to Frost: I want to be very clear, you are under no obligation to come with us or help. As much as I want a cure, as desperate as I am for Snowman to get better, I will not force you, nor will I let Bi-Han force you either.

Frost: But don't I have, like, a moral obligation?

Hanzo: It's more complicated than that, Frost, this kind of testing would be brutal, and there's no guarantee it would even help. You have every right to decide you don't want to be subjected to that

Frost mulls this over for a moment, looking between Bi-Han and Hanzo

Frost: I have a condition

Hanzo: which is?

Frost: I have some friends, and they-....they're not infected! But they're....they got bit

Bi-Han: Immune like you?

Frost shakes her head: Some kind of weird halfway version, I want them cured with your snowman guy, as quick as possible

Hanzo: As long as we can get them back to my compound, you have my word

[ancientwastedlores]

Getaway Car [T.Swift-inspired LOKI Fic]

___________________________________________

Ask: I am OBSESSED with your stories <3 <3 <3 could you write a Getaway Car themes fic about Loki and reader when it's them against the Avengers for some reasons, they get away together and reader thinks Loki will betray them so they betray him first? All angst and pain (. )(. ) thx <3 <3 <3

Note: HELLO, I know it's v late and been a while. But I heard Taylor's new album, and the need to write awakened. Thought I'd revisit my old requests for some inspo and found this one I've been wanting to do for a while. Hope you like it! And leave me your TTPD requests as well <3

WORD COUNT: 2756

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Getaway Car

I’m in a getaway car I left you at the motel bar Took the money in the bag and stole the keys  That was the last time you ever saw me… 

Partners in crime. Brothers in arms. That’s how the Avengers saw you and Loki, forever up to some mischief together. The way you both shared one mind was insane, and while Tony was glad it gave you a battle advantage, that brilliance was too often used for useless pranks around the facility, tiring out Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner the most. 

So what? They were harmless. These were ‘morale boosting’ and ‘team building’ activities, as per you. If anything, it brought the team closer together. And your pranks were your way of keeping the Avengers always alert and ready for danger. You had endless justifications. 

‘When do the excuses end?’ Tony once asked you.  ‘When do Earth’s mighty Avengers stop screaming about grasshoppers in their pancakes? It’s a protein-rich breakfast.’ 

Meanwhile, Loki never scrambled for a justification. He did things because he wanted to, and the chiding and complaining only encouraged him. Together, you made life hell for villains and heroes alike. You and Loki were the first response to an attack because of the way you could significantly weaken the enemy's psyche, prepping them to be an easy kill for the rest of the Avengers. 

You made a good team. A powerful one. And while your pranks kept things light, the Avengers were not unaware that if you decided to turn against them, you would succeed in wiping them out. 

___________________________________________

You and Loki weren’t the type for meetings, which made things easy for Tony that evening. In the bi-monthly meetup in his grand tower, he brought up a subject he’d been mulling over for quite some time. 

‘Do we have any reason to suspect they are plotting something against us?’ Steve asked. 

‘We don’t want to assume the wrong thing and risk actually inspiring them.’ Natasha said. 

‘You see, there’s the problem!’ Tony barked, ‘Why are we so afraid of them? They’re supposed to be on our side, dependable and loyal. Instead we’re afraid of pissing them off!?’

‘What are you saying exactly, Tony?’ Bruce asked. 

Tony sighed frustratedly and ran his fingers through his hair. ‘I don’t know. I just never want to be in a situation where we’re compromised from the inside. They’re too close to each other, and they know things we do not. I don’t like that.’ 

‘Fine. We’ll give them other tasks to keep them occupied separately,’ Natasha suggested. 

‘Like it’s school?’ Bruce said. 

‘I truly think Y/N was far more focused before Loki came along.’ Tony said. 'She was responsible. Tame.'

‘We’re starting to sound like parents, ’ Natasha said. ‘I’m sure it’s nothing, but if you’re worried, we’ll occupy her in the lab and him in training facilities.’ 

Tony thought this was a good idea.   ___________________________________________

The next morning, at breakfast, all the Avengers received an agenda sheet. It was placed on their seat at the dining table, and you were taken aback. 

‘Since when do we have a timetable?’ you asked. 

‘Since I saw things slacking around here,’ Tony declared. ‘We’ve got new trainees, new equipment, and new space stuff to unpack, and we’re doing nothing.’ 

‘You mean Loki and I are doing nothing.’ 

‘If the shoe fits,’ Tony said. 

The agenda was clearly made for you, and the rest of the team was in on it. You looked through your sheet - which honestly wasn’t that bad. You just didn’t like being taken by surprise. Mornings in the lab testing Tony’s “space stuff.” Afternoons running any one of the Avengers’ many charity initiatives - education, rehab, food drives, what have you. And evenings pulling apart and examining weapons scavenged from aliens kindly brought to you by either Carol Danvers or Gamora. 

And then you picked up Loki’s (who was sleeping late as usual). Mornings in the training facility training new recruits. Afternoons doing weapons testing with Tony. And evenings at any of the charity drives. 

This was deliberate. You couldn’t fathom why the Avengers would play such games, but you weren’t about to be taken for a ride.  ___________________________________________

Later in the morning, when Loki finally woke from his prolonged slumber, you told him about Tony’s passive-aggressive comment and the new agenda sheets. His green eyes flickered with the same spark of rebellion that mirrored your thoughts. 

"Why the sudden change, you think?" Loki questioned. 

"Control," you muttered, piecing the agenda with the prior night's conversations you had eavesdropped on through the vents—a risky yet fruitful habit. "They fear us, Loki. They're splitting us up, weakening our position."

Loki's smirk was as sly as ever, an idea brewing in the back of his mind. As he leaned closer, the proximity sent a shiver down your spine, and the air between you charged with a dangerous excitement.

"Then perhaps, my dear..." His voice dropped to a seductive whisper, his breath a warm caress against your ear. "...it's time we teach them the folly of their paranoia."

The words, scandalous and provocative, ignited something within you. Your heart thudded violently in your chest, a wild drumbeat echoing in the hollow of your ribs. It was the thrill of the forbidden, the allure of stepping into the shadows with Loki by your side, not just as a partner in crime but as a co-conspirator in a game most perilous.

His eyes locked onto yours, green fires that burned with mischief and an unspoken promise of chaos. It was an unholy proposal, stepping over a line you knew well but had never dared to cross before. And yet, as your heart raced and your thoughts spun, you realized that the decision had already been made in that fleeting heartbeat.

"Yes," you breathed out, the word less a reply and more a surrender to the exhilarating unknown. "Let's make them regret ever doubting us."

With that, your fate was sealed. 

___________________________________________

Under the guise of your newly assigned tasks, you and Loki meticulously orchestrated your daring plan. Each task provided unique opportunities to prepare for the heist without arousing suspicion among the other Avengers.

In the mornings, Loki was stationed at the training facility, instructing new recruits in the art of combat and deception. Utilizing his godly charisma and depth of experience, he subtly wove lessons on unpredictability and misdirection into his training, skills that would prove essential in the upcoming heist. While training these recruits, Loki also discreetly surveyed the facility's layout and security details, noting any potential vulnerabilities.

In the afternoons, his task shifted to weapons testing with Tony. These sessions, fraught with the clang of metal and the buzz of new technology, provided Loki with the perfect cover to engage Tony in technical discussions, subtly extracting information about the latest security updates and the locations of key research projects, including the cloaking device. Loki used his wit to keep Tony focused on the tasks at hand, ensuring his own activities went unnoticed.

Evenings saw Loki participating in various charity drives. These engagements offered him a public face of benevolence; all the while, he used these outings to establish alibis and build trust within the community and among his team, masking his true intentions under the guise of philanthropy.

Your mornings were spent in Tony’s lab, ostensibly testing new equipment designated aptly as “space stuff.” This task was critical because it allowed you direct access to some of the most advanced technology within the Avengers’ arsenal. While your official task was to test and report on these devices, you utilized this time to familiarize yourself with the lab’s security systems and to map out a discreet path to the prototype device. Your expertise in technology helped you to handle the equipment convincingly, all while preparing for the eventual theft.

Just like Loki, you used your time at the afternoon charity drives to make connections with community members and the other Avengers, enhancing your image as a dedicated member. This wasn’t a farce - you did care about the community. But right now, you had an underlying feeling of anger and hurt that the Avengers you gave your life to were doubting your intentions. So, you networked and built connections that could be useful for creating diversions or obtaining information indirectly related to the Avengers’ operational security.

The evenings were dedicated to examining and dismantling alien weaponry, and this time was invaluable not only for understanding potential alien tech that could be repurposed to aid in your escape but also for ensuring you were updated on the latest extraterrestrial technologies that might impact your plan. ___________________________________________

Days turned into weeks. You and Loki could only ever meet at night, and though you expected a whole day of events to make you too tired to plan a heist, you were actually excited. These secret meetings were charged with an electric anticipation that both thrilled and unnerved you. What started as a time to go over your respective findings turned into something far more intimate. As you poured over maps and schematics, your discussions often went into other things. Your pasts, your stories, your motives for joining the Avengers… everything you both usually kept hidden under bravado or mischief.

Loki’s usual façade of indifference was replaced by a passionate intensity about your joint mission. It was during one of these evenings, while reviewing security layouts, that he looked up from the papers, his gaze piercing. “You know, in all my years of schemes and conquests,” he confessed, his voice a low rumble, “I’ve never felt quite as... exhilarated as I do now, planning this with you.”

These words struck a chord within you, igniting a warmth that spread through your chest. 

Nights passed… you sat close to each other, naturally relaxing into each other. Soon, you moved the meetings from the facility terrace to each other’s bedrooms, comfortably laying in bed and discussing everything and nothing. 

“I’m the only kid in my family to get a job’ you once revealed. ‘And now I feel like their lives all depend on me.’ 

It’s true that you were more focused and serious before Loki came in. But that was because you never allowed yourself to do anything else but meet the expectations of your family. Loki was a breath of fresh air. The child you wished you could be for once. 

You didn’t have to explain all that to him. After you spilled your secret, Loki pulled you closer to him and stroked your head softly as you fell asleep. As you drifted off in his safe and warm embrace, you thanked Tony for his harsh comments. Were it not for him, you and Loki might never have bonded this way. 

But a day after that fact occurred to you, your mind began to wander. Was this love destined, or was it just something that happened due to an unfavorable circumstance? 

Did he realize he was in danger? Were you his escape plan?

With this deepening connection came a vulnerability that was new to both of you. The fear of betrayal, so ingrained in both your natures, loomed large as the day of the heist approached. Could you truly trust Loki with your heart, just as you were trusting him with your life? 

___________________________________________

The night before the heist, as you both sat back after hours of meticulous planning, Loki turned to you with a seriousness that was rare for him. “No matter what happens,” he said, his voice steady and sincere, “I want you to know that I... I value this. Us. More than I thought possible.”

His admission was a confession, and in the dim light of your secluded meeting spot, you allowed yourself a moment to truly look at him—not as the God of Mischief or an Avenger, but as a man who had unexpectedly become so much more. The stakes were higher now. 

Could this connection you created in the night - in the seclusion of the terrace and the safe confines of your bedroom - last in daylight? 

___________________________________________

4 PM. 

Your heart hammered as you bypassed the final security protocols and laid your hands on the prototype device, its field of light flickering with the promise of freedom. With the device secured, you slipped away to meet Loki at the designated rendezvous point, ready to disappear. As per today’s schedule, the Avengers were all at a school for at-risk youths, so it would be hours before anybody even realized what had happened. 

As you ran, the back of the backpack hitting you with every step, you felt a sense of dread in your stomach. Why didn’t this feel exhilarating? Why didn’t it feel freeing? 

You reached the entrance and saw Loki in your getaway car - a dark green sports Jaguar with the top town. The feeling of unease did not rest when you saw his face. The plan had gone too smoothly. Was it all too convenient? 

Your own thoughts a traitor to you, your heart sank as you opened those doors and jumped into his car. He put his lips to yours in absolute delight, barely able to stop smiling as he planted kiss after kiss on your face. 

"Are you with me, truly?" you found yourself asking, voice edged with a fear you hated to admit.

Loki's expression softened, a hand reaching out to cup your cheek. "Always," he reassured. 

The escape was a blur—for a moment, you forgot your reservations and reveled in the thrill of the wind in your hair. It was so romantic. So powerful. As night closed in and you left the sparkling city, the car drove into the darkness, but your heart was never lighter. His hand was on your thigh, and the music in your mind swelled as you imagined a whole new life with him. You were his savior, and he was yours. 

But the high soon crashed. 

As you reached the motel you decided to spend the night at, you looked over at him, and your heart sank again. The love was only alive in safe spaces. In comfortable places where it was nobody else’s business. 

You got out of the car and checked into your room - cash only. The room was nothing grand - it didn’t have to be. It would suffice until your contact made you fake passports, and you could get the hell out of the country. 

Loki did suggest simply teleporting the pair of you to Asgard, but that would hardly be a safe place to hide. And besides… why would he make such a ridiculous suggestion? Because he expected it to be shut down? Was your plan - your dream - to run away to somewhere in Asia and live a simple life actually his plot all along? And which god would agree to a simple life? Was it a ploy to make you feel safe before he betrayed you and left with the cloaking device? 

Questions upon questions filled your head. You weren’t sure if you were being your own worst enemy, so you decided to sleep on it. Loki asked if you wanted to get a drink at the motel bar, but you just wanted to creep under the covers and sleep the adrenaline off. He didn’t protest - he wanted you to be comfortable. 

It only made you more paranoid. Why didn’t he care enough to insist on a celebratory drink? Was he going to take this time to plot his escape? 

If betrayal were inevitable, you’d strike first. 

As soon as you heard the door click shut, you leaped out of bed and got dressed. You grabbed the bag with the device and the car keys and ran to the door. Then you paused… if you left right now, Loki wouldn’t stop looking for you. And nowhere on earth would be safe from a god. 

With a heavy heart, you called the Avengers facility from the motel landline. 

___________________________________________

You watched from the shadows as Loki drank his whiskey all alone. Your heart ached as you turned the key in the ignition, and the engine roared to life. Maybe it wasn’t too late… maybe you could grab him from the motel bar, drag him to the car, and keep running. 

Those hopes were dashed when you saw the Iron Suit’s unmistakable lights draw closer to the motel. For a moment you looked back at Loki to mouth a silent apology. He managed to lock eyes with you for a split second, confused and hurt, before the roof crashed in on him. 

Nothing good starts in a getaway car. 

___________________________________________

I hope this is similar to what you wanted <3

Feel free to leave requests here, and you can find my Masterlist here <3

[beesmygod]

As someone who watched like two somerton vids and didn't outright hate them, I've been mulling over what exactly got him this many fans, how did he even fool me. I feel like it might be Because He's So Monotone And Boring.

His presentation is so bland and dry, it Feels like you're trapped in an hour long university course. But he's talking about history, queer history at that. No matter how dubious and sometimes just offensive the "analysis" could be, I could see someone getting disgusted at anyone being critical of his work, just because of the subject matter. He's used his own identity aganist any criticism before, so he must be aware. Why should he properly light his camera when he's talking such impooortant issues? His delivery is so bad, but it gives this like, clinical feeling, like he's reading from a textbook (other people's actual work). He's not doing anything flashy or with any flair or effort, so he muuust just be really focused on the facts right? If he can't even get a good haircut, than all his energy must be in "research", clearly. It's like his whole channel is solely made for impressionable young queer people who Want to look educated, they want to Look like they care, but in reality, wouldn't even look at the sources if he ever posted them.

idk, maybe this ask was all nonsense, virtue signaling might be real and works and our peers were deeply uncurious all along.

"virtue signaling" is a stupid phrase that was trotted out for like, the most teensy tiny means for people to try to identify one another through a text medium but there has to be a word for when someone appeals to minority. like "they are sending me DEATH THREATS!!!!! because i am GAY!!!!!!!!!" is such an obvious lie that people immediately, apparently threw themselves onto grenades for out of some kind of deeply pathetic idea of solidarity that revolves around never questioning the intentions of people "on your side".

i think people just fucking suck for this one. like i cannot imagine a situation, even without knowing that he plagiarized, where i would have paid him money to continue making these vids. there is no excuse for paying him that holds up to any scrutiny considering his writing sounds like 5 people writing for him to totally fumble the delivery on. because it is that lol

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

You re-sharing your pinned post reminded me that Taylor and Aaron had done a bunch of writing at the very least for Midnights that got scrapped (or possibly pushed back?) and what we got on Midnights...was the subject of your post and Renegade. TTPD Anthology has the same really heavy stuff from her past littered everywhere as well. thanK you aIMee, Cassandra, The Manuscript, The Bolter, etc. all fit that theme that was just so heavily on the past that it could have been revisited works from a time when she didn't want to touch it yet because of what it said.

I think this is really interesting!

(I hope you don't mind me posting this publicly as I don't often do that and also never see my inbox unless I'm on a computer, but it really gave me food for thought.)

Obviously we have no way of actually knowing this, but I always felt like Would've Could've Should've was so important to the narrative of what became Midnights, and then when we found out that it was actually one of the *first* songs she wrote, months before Midnights was even a fleshed-out concept, it kind of reinforced to me that whatever she unleashed in that song kind of opened the floodgates for a whole other facet of her songwriting. (I've said many times that I think WCS is going to turn out to be one of the blueprints of her discography thematically, not unlike All Too Well. I think The Manuscript is going to be another one.)

Which is not to say she didn't write deeply moving, painfully honest songs before obviously, but I think the honesty to which she delved into that experience (and trauma) really paved the way to broach the themes on Midnights, and most certainly to the raw emotion we got on TTPD. I wouldn't be surprised if WCS maybe even informed the concept of the "sleepless nights" of Midnights, because a song like that could certainly make you think of other experiences that have marked you.

Obviously we have no way of knowing this, but there are kernels of WCS in sooooooo much of her work, and at least musically, it feels like opening up about that experience has helped her open up about others. It's glaringly obvious on TTPD too (Smallest Man, Clara Bow, The Manuscript, pretty much all of The Anthology in some way etc.) and it's even been fascinating seeing how she's used it on tour (e.g. mashed up with ivy) and how she's also reframed her existing songs in other ways. Much like how the rerecordings seemed to have also unlocked some new perspectives and feelings, I think the Midnights/3am/Vault music has unearthed a new level of understanding of herself and her music.

The Anthology really does feel like a sequel of sorts to the 3am tracks on Midnights to me in many ways. I think I said it in that post that the standard Midnights album might have been the things that kept her up at night, but the 3am tracks felt like the things that kept haunting her when she was awake and the fallout from those experiences. The Anthology feels like those themes finally coming home to roost. Sometimes in clarity, sometimes in anger, sometimes in grief, sometimes even in gratitude.

I don't know if these were concepts she'd been mulling before Midnights (I'm assuming they were actually written after, as she said), but I wouldn't be surprised if she had been mulling the themes/experiences during that time and when she kept writing after Midnights went into production, revisited them as they felt salient to her.

Thanks for this!

[sugarakis-p2]

AKADMD Ch. 25

Mothman Shigaraki is the new king, so much on his shoulders and wings. Nothing better than to use Ur (Aka Ur Name x reader) to relieve his stress as he plots to destroy the Order of the Azure rose.

Warning: Possessive Mothman Shigaraki, Dabi and Lyra fluffy smuts, death, references to knotting, cussing

Captured by the Order is not so bad. Things come to a head as You fight and struggle for your people. Worse, you go into labor.

@lovingbadguys @balanceisrelative @nut-in-me-jojo

Ch24 < previous chapter

Chapter 25

The cell was nice as far as cold stone goes.

"It would have been better had we killed the children and made a stand against the Mothmen invaders. They are not that innocent, and those Mothmen were not your people," Your sister, Imogene, huffed, pacing. Scratching at her eye scars, she plops down next to you. Gently you moved her hand away from her eye.

"Scratching only makes it worse. Then it burns. I see things with this eye. What I saw made me think this is our best chance," you tell her.

"Lucky. I can't see anything out of this eye anymore. I hope it's worth it. I hope you're right. It's been an entire day. You felt those tremors? Those tremors are explosions. They always blame strangers. We are the strangers," Imogene snarked.

"Family is always worth taking a chance on. Is that not how mom raised us?" You shrugged. Casually changing the subject. There was no point in doubting yourself now. Rubbing your belly. A few hands or feet pressed against your palm. It felt like playing a game when they are not even born. You want to cry. They are so beautiful, and you haven't seen them yet. You had to stop. Otherwise, you will end up bawling.

"You barely remember her. But yes. Those were her views. Did Maude teach you that?"

"Maude and the book she left to me. Mama left a lot of little messages in it. Do you know why she named me differently from the rest of you? I've never been able to figure that out," you tell her. She looks around, then leans in.

"Because it was Pa who named you. You were his pride. Then mom died, and he gave up," Imogene shrugged. Sitting there in the cold, it is easy to mull over your past. Regrets and grief bubble to the surface. Maude scolds you for feeling pity for such a pathetic man.

"At least Shigaraki fights for what is his," Maude harrumphed in your head. Shut up! You viciously thought. You agreed, but you want it to be your thought. Not Maude's.

"I have been hearing and seeing Maude in my mind since her passing," you tell her. She should know you are going crazy. Imogene looked guilty as she stopped scratching.

"Maude is in a coma," Imogene said quickly. You process this news and are not sure if Imogene is lying to you to keep you sane or if it's true. You decide it doesn't matter in the here and now. You sign to Imogene you loved her and thank you for telling you. Blood welled in your black eye.

You felt numb around Shigaraki at first. You knew he was evil and wanted to survive. Slowly seeing a spurting open wound, you did everything possible to please him. At the center, a lonely black need to be loved and accepted. You saw yourself echo in Shigaraki and thought Maude was wrong. Love is possible. It was when he beamed with pride, and doted on you, the same way Pa used to before Mama died, is when you started to feel a healing in you begin.

"And then he got greedy and killed me. I haunt you because I have always loved you more. Because I worry for my precious little sister. Your heart will break, and you will head down the same path as Pa. You carry the last of Mama's spark. Pa was weak. He had to go. Ask Imogene," Maude coaxed in her soothing lullaby tones.

You're not even dead! The weak have no rights. I'm not weak. What? Maude is a voice in your head. One that you thought had disappeared when you discovered Maude was alive. How can she know something you don't know? Your face twisted in confusion as you turned to Imogene.

"D-d-d-did Adam or Maude kill-," your question breaks off when two men stop before the cell and peer in. The orders robes are starting to rankle you. A dying yellowed-haired man and a sleepy dark-haired one had a minor exchange before entering.

"Can the wingless queen follow us?" The dying man asked. The both of you scoff. The grubs stirred at his voice.

"But of course," you and Imogene respond simultaneously. You force yourself not to stare at your sister with the same dumbfounded look the men give you. A lot of surprises today. More importantly, ignoring the grubs. You can't let them know you're the one that's pregnant.

"Just the queen," he nervously chuckled. The grubs writhed at the sound of his voice.

"Impossible and unreasonable. It would be foolish to allow myself to be separated from the caregiver of my expectant condition," Imogene said. I shudder to think that Shigaraki might not notice if I'm gone. Imogene is that good.

"Or is the Order that fearful of a wingless Queen we must be treated like animals? You would think hundreds against two would be proper caution. Oh, how mighty," you pick up where she left off. The dark-haired one puts his hand on the dying one's shoulder and steps forward.

"I'm Aizawa. This is Toshinori, a member of the orders counsel board. Forgive our mistreatment. Of course, your guest can join us for a meal. Please follow us," He gestures. Imogene helps lift you, and you waddle down the hall after them. You will be so happy to get them out. The grubs are starting to get uppity inside you again. You signal Imogene to be on guard, both waddling after the men.

They seat you at a much shorter table for the Counsel can look down at you. A least an audience of 300 watched to witness the Counsel's mercy. The table is covered in delectables you cannot resist. See their mercy? They gave you a feast for a last meal. These people are backward. You shovel food in your mouth in the most un-ladylike fashion. Not that it could be helped. They only gave you spoons. Who knows when these pious monsters will feed you again? Your sister mimics you. Pouring water for you while you give her a roll you know she'll like. Your sister's mimicry makes you feel closer to her. It's sick, considering what you like most about Imogene is yourself. Upon reflection, maybe not. Maybe it's normal to love in many different ways.

"Don't worry. I like being you too," Imogene signed. You giggled at the shared secret. But began to consider how much of a lousy sister you are. Imogene knows you. However, she is an outsider to you.

"You are a most brattish sister. Extremely lazy. Didn't even take my lessons on manipulation to heart," Maude tsked. Lazy. Manipulation. You consider them closely.

They watched and waited until you had your fill. You've never seen these people before. Although, you recognize the high priestess from her mural at the church. Madam President, the only female member of the Order allowed to cut her hair. You assume the smug fool in a crown next to her is the king. They wait until you've had your fill before addressing you both.

"The crimes of the Wingless Queen are many," Madam president started when you interrupted.

"I like that title. Very appropriate. I'm assuming it's from Lyra. Where is she, by the way?" You ask, enjoying a large slice of strawberry and chocolate cake. You will have to steal the baker. It was odd feeding yourself. It was childish, but it made you smile when you thought of Shiggy. President scrunches her face in disapproval and annoyance at your interruption. Maude approved. Madam President continued by prattling off your many crimes, rage burning in President's eyes, much to your amusement. Not as good as the cake your sharing with Imogene, "What is the deviancy charge for again?"

"Copulation with a magical beast without the blessing of the king," She stated matter of fact. A seething rage boiled in your brain until you felt like you might explode. Maude's voice is niggling in the back.

"Some queen, if you let this bitch bully you. Mocking your king. Mocking your offspring. Do you think they will parade them around like the angel of the Order?" Maude taunted.

"That's rich. You recognize me as a Queen but not Shigaraki as a King? How arrogant to think you hold domain over all the magical beings. As for your other absurd charges, I don't recognize you as an authority to charge me with anything," you hiss back to Madam President. These people. A seething was twisting in you. The grubs are quiet as you let it knot in you.

"I know one of you is my Senpai. One of you has served the Order as a loyal member in the same high Order. It's for her we have not charged the wingless Queen," The calm voice of Hawks pipes up. The Angel of the Order is someone they parade around to reaffirm their divine authority. Imogene points at him and signs to you that one is not to be trusted. Watch out for him.

"Are we going to pretend that man is nothing more than someone you manufactured to control the gullible masses? I will tell you what your charges are," Imogene laughs. You pick up where she left off. Both work in tandem. Confusing the audience more.

"Only my charges have already had severe consequences. You murdered my mother. You murdered my siblings. You killed off a quarter of our village yearly with your greed. Then the worse atrocity. You tout beings like Hawks and other Knights as saviors and morale when you are a plague on our existence, rotting our society into obedience and apathy. It was easy for my family and our people to hate you. You have stolen our hopes, dreams, and lives. You moved the mana lines in your favor, and you've even stolen our nights," You spat at them like venom. Several of the Counsel shift uncomfortably. I take note. Those ones need to be removed. They knew about the curse, the one that prolonged the daylight. You rise and curse them. The timing is perfect as the earth rumbles beneath your feet.

"You WILL restore night and day equally. You will give us our lands, from the farm wastes to the black pit forests. You will release any captives you have, including Lyra and Kurogiri. Only then will we consider not wiping you out. Leave us alone. That is reasonable. That is the only way we will heal," you demanded of them.

Mera slammed an orb on the table, ordering for silence, as a ripple went through the crowd. Several looked as if they were about to chuckle when explosions reigned dust and debris from the ceiling, ruining the rest of the cake. The day turned to night. You and Imogene bellow in delight at their shocked and frightened eyes. The dragon and oracle of the blue rose scream in panic. They know their precious stone is taken. You sign for Imogene to close her eyes. She squeezes them shut and clutches a spoon.

"I sentence you!" You screamed, a burning hot pain shooting through your head as you forced your eye open. Releasing the knot that had been tightening the moment you entered this room. Pouring all your hurt, pain, and rage as you bend the evil eye to your will. It's your power, "Hate each other as much as you hate us! Feel our suffering!"

A hot jet of blood gushed down your face from your eye. The black descended on the mock court. A massive explosion rocked the earth. People screamed. The dying man shot up and stopped the roof from coming down. Imogene pounced on Aizawa, digging her spoon in a scooping out his eye.

"I'm sorry, sensei. But you will not stop my little sister!" Imogene shouted in the chaos. You thought the sudden movement in the room was the crowd trying to flee for the exits. It was for some. Others were trying to kill each other. Hawks had murdered Madam President. His eyes widen in shock at himself.  If they just had some love for us , you thought in wonderment. Imogene grabbed your wrist and stumbled with you to where you came from.

"It seems in your best interest to treat your future Queen well," Imogene cackled behind us, "My mate does not take kindly to sharing my attention."

"So true!" you beam with pride at Imogene. Looking out to the sky. Your heart is swelling thinking of Shigaraki. He's alive and will be coming for you. Suddenly your knees weakened. A sharp jagged pain shot down your middle. Hot fluid gushed between your legs. Puddling around your knees. Imogene held your hand in frozen shock.

"What's happening?" you whimpered to her. Her mouth dropped open, then snapped shut as she steeled herself and wrapped your arm over her shoulder. Lifting and forcing you to walk on your wobbly legs like a newborn faun.

"You're going into labor," she growled. Dragging you as a horrid thought popped into your head. Your heart sank. It was too soon.

"The price of magic," you sobbed. Imogene paled, and that was all the answer you needed. Shiggy had warned you, but you didn't listen.

"You can't give birth here. The hospital is nearby," Imogene grunted.

Shigaraki  lay there dying. His vision rapidly faded into blackness. Partially because he had used the Azure rose. The cluster of sapphire crystals that formed a spiral did resemble an abstract rose. He examined it in the last of the sunlight. It is like his perfection. I chill ran through him. That would be his only regret. He never liked anything enough to want to live before. It made him hate this world more. To give him something to live for, only to have it taken away. But he is sure he will see her again. He will wait and claw to you if his life mate is sent elsewhere. His wingless butterfly flew high without wings. Even in his last moments, he is hungry to press his hard body against your soft one and melt in you.

Shigaraki stared at the sky. He wasn't going to destroy everything. Keeping his word to you was part of his motivation. But when the Order took you, they signed their death contract. He grins. Satisfied that he created perpetual night. That will end everything painfully slow for the Order. He hopes they start to eat each other. That made him chuckle, and he gripped his side as he coughed blood. Four eyes blink down at him in frustration.  

"You bastard! The child cannot live without the sun. Even the moon knew that!" Darvish growls pacing. He swiftly bends and snatches the Azure rose from his hand. Twisting it, screaming, trying to get it to work. Shigaraki laughed harder and spurted more blood.

"I guess you'll have to save me if you want to live. Such a shame you will never have my mate," He spat, spraying Darvish with his blood. Darvish jerked in disgust and growled. This was ruining his plans. After his personal meeting with the moonbeam, he wanted her. Wanted to break her. Feel her wrapped around his knot. They had not expected The Order to request aid from other kingdoms.

Stars and stripes came from a highly militant and wealthy kingdom. They had been doing so well. The woman was a fierce warrior, trained in the art of combat since she was a child. Star was tall and muscular, her long blonde hair quaffed to resemble her mentor. The Pillar of light; All Might. She wore high shined, red, white, and blue armor covering her from head to toe, and her hands were wrapped in thick red gloves. Stars smiled at them from her perch onto a pile of Nomu corpses.

"I think we can both take her," Darvish panted, wiping gore from his right eyes. Shigaraki grinned sickly, his body itching for a fight.

"Secure the blue crystal in that room. All I need is one touch," Shigaraki snarled. Darvish left him to die. The man was a monster, tearing into every human he met like a raw steak. Darvish is more than happy to kill them both and keep the glory for himself.

"Are you going to keep a lady waiting?" Star smirked.

"Not one so tacky. Ugly colors," Shigaraki rasped in broken human tongue. The two combatants circle each other warily. Shigaraki's claws extended and ready to strike. Crouched low, wings quivering, prepared to flit and dodge. They move with deadly grace, each looking for an opening in the other's defenses.

Darvish growls in annoyance. Not the first time today. A wizard key. He hates these things. Darvish kicks the door, but it's magically fortified. Only solving the stupid puzzle allows you to enter.

"Keep her entertained. This will take me a moment," Darvish chittered over his shoulder. Suddenly, Shigaraki lunges forward, slashing with his claws. The other dodges the attack and retaliates with a swift kick to the stomach. The Shigaraki staggers back but quickly regains his footing and retaliates with a flurry of swipes and jabs. The second fighter blocks each attack with their claws but is unable to land a hit of their own.

“Are you Tomura Shigaraki?” The woman asked. Panting and bleeding where his claws had made contact.

"What of it?" He snarled and swiped low. Missing again. Darvish rearranges the blocks on the door randomly. The fight continues for several minutes, with both fighters displaying remarkable agility and skill. Finally, Shigaraki manages to land a lucky strike, slicing Star's arm. She cries out in pain and falls to the ground. He snarled and growled as he advanced on the woman, his eyes blazing with rage.

The woman stood her ground, rising last moment, twisting and bringing her fist down on his shoulder. Clipping his wing. Her eyes never left his face. She raised her fists and prepared to fight as he quickly spun to meet her. The fight was intense and bloody, with both combatants slashing at each other. They moved around the room, dodging and weaving, trying to get the upper hand. Blood flew through the air as Shigaraki clawed and scratched at her armor's weak spots. Frustrated, he has been unable to get all five fingers on her.

He lunged forward, slashing at the woman with his claws. She blocked the attack with her arms and countered with a powerful punch to the chest. He stumbled back but quickly recovered and lunged again. This time, the woman was ready. She dodged his attack and delivered a powerful kick to his stomach. Shigaraki stumbled back again, feeling some of his ribs crack. She was on him, pummeling him bloody, but this time he didn't get up. The woman had won the fight. She stood over him, panting and covered in blood, as he lay defeated, motionless on the ground.

"You should have used your ability," she panted. Bending down and grabbing Shigaraki's face. It made him wonder what she thought his magic was. Not that it mattered. He quickly reached up, wrapping all five fingers around her wrist.

"Don't worry. I did," Shigaraki graveled. The woman said something perplexing him and saluted as she faded into dust. He has never been so happy to be mixed up with Dabi again. Stupid woman, he thought as Darvish helped him to the Azure rose, leaving a trail of blood it dripped from every orifice. Finally, managing to open the door and be useful. Shigaraki is not stupid. Of course, Darvish would let him die. But he had no idea why he wanted the shiny bobble. He had assumed to bring to his mate as a boon.

When Shigaraki had plunged them into the night. It left Darvish with no choice but to save him. Leading them to this moment.

"Not even my doctors can save you. Reverse this. Your moonbeam will die too. I see no motivation to help you. Reverse this so your offspring can live on or don't, and I still snare your female. What do I care for the lands after I'm dead? Reverse this for their sake," Darvish demanded.

"Your doctors couldn't, but mine can. Deliver me to my doctor, fetch my moonbeam, and I will consider allowing you into her harem," Shigaraki graveled. A concession he did not want to make.

"Guarantee me a spot," Darvish quickly jumped on the offer.

"I can guarantee you a political position. Can we hurry? I am dying," Shigaraki spat more blood.

"Unbreakable promise," Darvish insisted. The bastard, he thinks. He can't blame him. It doesn't matter to Shigaraki. The curse he made with you is still creeping into his heart. Honestly, it's what he would have done. Darvish clings to him, waking him up long enough to give the Nomu orders. His instincts rage at him.

That woman did something to us!

So what? She's dead.

We should be the ones rescuing our mate!

Yes. We should be. But our perfection will understand more than anyone why I did what I did.

A harem! You created a harem for her! She will be enraged! 

We will add it to her current rage. What will she do? As long as she's ours, she will not leave us.

How much do you think she will tolerate?  His instincts snorted, crawling around in his mind, fretting over what that woman did.

That was the question he didn't want an answer to. Later, after Darvish brings back his mate, he will be flawless for you and the grubs. After his family, he did not think he would want one. He didn't really care about living. Now that he has you. That has changed. He groans, thinking of the curse. It was fine until Lyra took the children. That bitch. That's a problem for later, like Darvish. He will fulfill his part of the deal. Then kill him later. His instincts liked this plan.

The day  before Adam yanked Lyra along with cruelty digging his nails into her tender flesh. Carefully hiding timed charges along the way. There was already plenty of chaos reining in the streets with Dabi.

"Adam?" Lyra dared to squeak. He stopped and shot her a look of pure hatred. She almost didn't continue. But she couldn't help herself, "Is Ur alive? Is she alright?"

"What do you care? Traitor. Betrayer," He hissed. Narrowing his eyes ominously. She could feel his desire to hurt her radiate off him.

"She told me to run! What if she failed? Was I supposed to leave the kids there at that monster's mercy? You tell me, Adam? What would you have done?" She sobbed. She touched her face in surprise, pulling her fingers away, wet with salty tears. It was a new experience for her. She has never been this emotional. Adam swiftly backhanded her across her jaw. She gripped her jaw, throbbing in a burst of pain. She tried to step away in shock and fear. His pick shot out and hooked behind her neck, pulling her back to him.

"She's alive. No thanks to you. I would have stayed. You are a healer. I would have stayed, had faith, and tried to help the ones I love. Dabi would have punished you but nothing compared to what the Order has done. You always planned to betray us. Tell me I'm wrong," Adam seethed.

"I wanted to save Dabi too. He can not win a fight against his family. I don't want to see any of them die," she sniffled. Adam made a disgusted sound.

"No faith. The greatest sin a member of the Order can commit," he spat at her.

That sent a jolt of emotions through her. Lyra trembled. What did she or anyone gain from this? She wanted to save humanity and warn them of the Mothmen. A species none of them took seriously. They stole her book, called her a whore, stripped her of her rank, and took the children away. The Todoroki family had fought to keep them, and the Order refused. Without rhyme or reason, yes, Endeavor was not good around children, but the older sister tried. Something about humans mixing with magical species was not sanctioned. If Shoto's family had not taken her in, she would be on the streets. But more importantly, how did Adam know a core tenant of the Order well enough to know that would rock her.

"Are there more spies here?" she stupidly asked. She scolded herself. You have told her plenty of times her mouth gets her in trouble. She tried harder for you, but the lesson has never been rooted. Her family must be right. There is something wrong with her.

"Pull that silver spoon out of your ass. Did it seem like any of the humans at the hive had a love for the Order? We kill zealots. I killed my brother and pretended to be him for my revenge on the Order. We were always going to win because it takes a village. Now point to the children before I lose my temper," He growled, swinging her in front of him with his pickaxe. The pick part pressed painfully across her chest. He was deathly good with his tool of the trade.

Lyra weakly pointed. The streets are in chaos. Heroes are swarming everywhere, but no one seems to be noticing them. She quickly looks at Adam's mana aura. It's not strong, but it would explain a few things. She had never bothered to check yours, feeling immediately that your aura was extremely weak the first day she met you. That changed after the eye.

"Your family seems to have a way with manipulation," she panted, leading the way.

"A gift from our mother. Maude has all the natural talent. Quit trying to get information to tell your friends at the Order," Adam sneered. Lyra whirled on him.

"They are clearly not my friends. I fulfilled my promise to Regina. A woman I saw raped to death by Shigaraki, by the way. They did exactly as Shigaraki said they would. They changed my name to Lyle and published an edited version demonizing the entire Mothmen race," Lyra growled at him. Adam's features twisted into concern.

"Shigaraki raped your friend to death? How so?"

"He punctured her intestines. Which leads to sepsis and a full body shutdown. She died slowly with those two mentally torturing her-" Lyra trailed off. Suddenly realizing what she is saying, and moves on to the Order, "They edited everything. Editing out the family structure and the social impact of humans." Adam dragged her to a side alley.

"Social impact of humans? My little sister is bonded to a monster that raped a woman to death. What has he done to my sister?" he hissed.

 "Nothing too harsh. Nothing Shigaraki hasn't paid for," She says quickly. Knowing your family values an eye for an eye.

"What did he do to my sister?" he asked again.

"Adam. Whatever you are thinking. Stop. The whole point of my thesis is we shouldn't be separating ourselves. We improve each other. They are devoted, and none of us want to be in a world where Shigaraki is separated from his mate. The man is wrath personified," She stood firm on this. Adam bit his lip, mulling her words before gesturing with his head she needed to get moving. The girls were easy to get. They went to a wealthy family.

"Put your hood up and don't say anything," He told Lyra. She watched as everyone ignored them. He looked like he belonged. Which is how he must have tricked the villagers he grew up with that he was his brother. Whom he killed. Lyra shudders. Do you know this about Adam? Maude must have known. All Adam had to do was call the girls, and they ran to him.

"We were so scared. They took us away from Aunty Lyra. Is big sister ok?" they wept and whined until Adam reassured them everything was ok. He kept an eye on Lyra the entire time. It will be difficult for him to watch her and the kids.

"Adam. You can't take the girls to find the boys. We should hide them. My family home should be safe," She whispered.

 "No. Not with you. With people I can trust," he hissed. They traveled to some wine cellar. Where Mr. Duskin and Suki were waiting. Lyra's fear ratcheting new heights. She was stuffed in a hole with people she was sure would want her dead. She was about to defend herself When Suki threw herself at Suki in a tight embrace.

"When we head the Order used the chaos of the MLA fight to kidnap you and the children. We feared the worst. How you saved the kids from MLA invaders by convincing them to take the children. We knew it was time to band together and rescue you," Suki wept. Lyra stood there stupefied for a few moments before responding in a way that would have made you proud.

"I tried to keep them together. I knew you would come for me. I am so relieved," Lyra strained to sputter out. Her eyes shoot to Adam, who doesn't correct them. The children only knew of the war and the sounds coming from the other room. John wanted to leave before he had to see Shigaraki.

"What game are you playing at Adam?" She asked him when she cornered him alone.  

"My sister and Dabi want you back, lost little apostate. They gave you a way back. Try not to get lost. Because if we cross paths outside the hive again. I will do awful things to you," he hissed sweetly to her.

"I won't. I know where they sent John and Peter. They placed them in the crystal mines. They have John handling dynamite because he can't hear well. Peter is with him. The mines are incredibly dangerous. You will need me. We grab the boys. Grab Kurogiri, and leave for home," Lyra husked on the verge of tears. She is going to take the way back.  

"That's the plan. I must be able to trust you will not run with the girls. That you will meet us at the designated place to go home," Adam said sternly. Lyra agreed to anything.

The  next day she hid with the girls. Watching at a distance in case she needed to intervene, despite Adam telling her not to. Because one way or another, she will arrive in front of you with what she took.

Adam walks to the entrance in his full mining gear. But even while he looked like he belonged the security tried to stop him. The magic users desperately need the crystals to create support and suppression items. Adam erupts into chaos and violence. Adam is a man that stands in the center of the cave, wielding a pickaxe with both hands and demanding all of the attention.

His face is twisted in rage, and his eyes are wild. He swings the pickaxe wildly, smashing it into the walls, crates, and equipment around him. Shards of wood and dirt fly everywhere as he continues his rampage. The crowd is getting too large for the heroes here to control. Many must have left to deal with the mess of Dabi. They spot the boys at the same time. That is when Adam changes.

He screams out in rage as he swings the pickaxe, seemingly oblivious to the destruction he is causing. Until the heroes realized too late that he had set up a smoke screen. Using the flat end to fling dirt in the strongest one's eyes, hooking him behind the neck, yanking them down to viciously stomp his face in. He systematically took out every single one he came across. Adam would swing, either driving the pick end into them, it doesn't matter where. The head, the ribs, punching the lungs, going through the arms, crushing bones and tearing sinew, dropping heroes to the ground. Pulling them down to crush them under his bloody boots. Bashing with either end.

When a hero got in close Adam swiftly changed his grip and poked out eyes with vicious little jabs. She had never seen a man fight with a pickaxe. She had never seen war before. A trail of destruction and broken bodies littered the way to his brothers. Adam's clothes are tattered, stained with sweat and blood his breathing is labored. He falls to his knees as the boys embrace him. The other children release themselves, crowding around Adam as the adults run. It was gruesome. It was violent. The Order doesn't know what they are facing. Adam, Maude, and you are all commoners. Commoners with a grit and determination that is unparalleled and not found amongst the Order she's been raised in.

"Adam! Is he ok, Aunt Lyra?" Mabel asked. Lyra grabbed her hand and moved. Carrying Beth and Jan trailing behind Mabel. There were a few confused looks as she ran past the heroes to Adam.

"Hold still," She ordered him as she used her spell to help him. He wasn't injured but his exhaustion was just as crippling. John was signing with his hands fast. Too fast for her to understand, "John? What is it?"

Adam translated.

"Shoto's sister came looking for you. She dropped off muffins and reassured them they were still fighting to adopt them. But she really needed you because there were rumors that the wingless Queen was captured and Dabi was extremely burned during his fight yesterday. Fuck! Fuuuuuck!" Adam roared. He looked crazed as he looked towards the capital building. Very likely where they are holding you. Lyra was processing the information and forming a plan. When a series of explosions rumbled the ground.

"They have my little sister. The capital building will be lit up like a roman candle!"

"I need to help Dabi. He will be at the Todoroki estate. It's a safe place from the bombs," She said, leading the way.

"I have to save my little sister. Even if it's one of my other sisters in disguise. I cannot leave them to die," Adam growled.

"You'll need a way in. Shoto still has a good standing. Use him to disarm the bombs," Lyra panted.

"We can help. We are experts. Please, take us with you," A small voice said.

"I'm not leaving these kids here," John lisped. Lyra looked to Adam, who was visibly shaken and chewing his lip bloody.

"Normally I would ask a six-year-old to help me with dynamite. But I don't see another way," Adam mumbled.

"Of course! Whatever! Let's just move. Now!" She shouted as she ran.

When  they arrived, they were panting, exhausted messes. Adam guides them through routes not to get killed. Fuyumi, Shoto's sister danced nervously at the door when Adam pushed his way in.

"My goodness Fuyumi, you're already harboring a criminal," Lyra huffed.

"Sorry, ma'am," Adam smiled charmingly. Fuyumi blushed, and it took a moment for Lyra to catch on. Shoto popped out from a back room. Wide-eyed at first.

"Shoto. Help Adam disarm bombs at the capital, and I will start to heal Dabi. I know how much you want redemption for your brother," Lyra said quickly. Running to the kitchen to swiftly make a fortification elixir for them. Shoto immediately agreed.

"Are there any more bombs in the city?" Shoto had asked. Lyra was about to warn him. But it wasn't necessary. Adam smiled sweetly, his gloved hand, resting on top of his blood-stained pickaxe.

"What of it?" Adam asked gleefully. Shoto's eyes landed on it, Adam's cheerful face, then Lyra's worried face.

"Nothing. Happy to be saving lives," Shoto said monotoned.

When  they left, she went to Dabi, leaving the kids under Fuyumi's care. She gasped and almost dropped the hot water she was carrying when she saw Dabi.

"How are you alive?" She wept. His jaw was barely hanging on. His lips missing, piled under blankets, and in a robe up to his neck.

"Lyra," He husked.

"Don't talk," She fretted. Soaking bandages and looking up spells. Lyra didn't know he had moved until he turned her to face him.

"Heal me, Lyra," he rasped. Pressing his teeth against her lips until they part to let his tongue snake in. She was taken aback by Dabi's passionate kiss, but Lyra could feel the heat radiating from his skin. She could tell he had been through a lot, yet here he was, showing her such tenderness and love. She felt a deep connection with him and returned his kiss with equal passion.

He slowly reaches out and gently takes her hands in his, caressing them. Dabi pulled her towards the bed, shoving her down, looking into her eyes. He leans down and nibbles her softly on the lips, his hands moving up to her face, cupping it tenderly. Tears are in her eyes. He is so burned his wings are stunted burnt nubs.

He moves his hands down her body, neck, and breasts, exploring her curves and contours. His touch is gentle and loving as he tweaks her nipples, sending shivers of pleasure through her body. He brushes his lips down to her neck, kissing and nibbling as he goes. He moves lower, exploring her body with his hot hands and mouth. Forcing her to part her legs with a whimper. He takes his time, savoring every moment and little whine she makes. His touch is passionate and hot, yet gentle. His tongue lathes over his bite mark sending waves of pleasure through her body.

"Lyra. It has been too long after the blood binding. It's painful. I spared this part of my body for you," he graveled. Finally, he unrobed and licked back up to her face and gazed into her eyes with his icy blues. His hips wedge between her shaking thighs. He trills lovingly at her and they share a tender embrace before they make love for the first time. Their bodies intertwined his large pierced cock rubbing and slicking himself over her drooling sex. Their breathing became more and more labored. Moves his hands lower, caressing her inner thighs and teasing her most sensitive areas. She gasps in pleasure as his touch sends waves of desire through her body. He moves his fingers in circles, increasing the intensity of the sensations until she is trembling with anticipation, eliciting moans of pleasure from her. His tongue moves down her neck, sending shivers of delight through her body.

"I chose you. Do you remember?" She asked surprisingly. He wraps his arms around her. Running his claws in her hair.

"I never forgot. Lyra," He graveled. Moving his body closer to hers, pressing his hardness against her softness. She opened herself to him. He slid into her tight pussy with a groaning chirp. She hates and loves him as he pushes through her resistive walls. Filling her as she clings to him with hitching gasps. He bucks his hips. Slowly, Lyra wraps her legs around him as they move together in perfect harmony. He rubs all the delicious spots on her. for the first time, she is not afraid. She accepts Dabi. The ecstasy builds. Hot fire burning in her, becoming more and more intense until they both reach their peak. Both cry out in pleasure as they reach orgasm together. He growled and knotted. Shooting hot cum deep in her. They collapse into each other's arms, exhausted but satisfied. He is attached to her. Having her pulse and squeeze on his knot.

Lyra was exhausted and fell asleep in his arms. He wrapped himself in the bandages. She left out for him. Now that he fulfilled and stated his blood bond with Lyra, he can move on with his plans. The mix of relief and rage he felt when he discovered she was pregnant still left a strange taste in his mouth. Ashen. But he can let loose freely without his instincts nagging at him. Lyra will be taken care of. He left this in a note. Asking others to watch out for her, she is mouthy and will need more than Kurogiri. He put his seal on it and left it in her robes. Dabi took Shoto's white baptismal robes of the Order of light.

He swiped at Fuyumi when she rushed to him. He didn't know if it was for a loving embrace or not. Dabi didn't care. He is going to kill Endeavor. Fuyumi falls to her ass. Peter and the girls pull her away from Uncle Dabi. They are sweet, gullible humans.  

"I will do my last brotherly duty. I recommend Adam as a mate. Times are changing Fuyumi. Chang with them or be crushed under fathers' heel," Dabi graveled before leaving.

Shoto  convinced his fellow classmates to guide them. Letting them disarm and take them. Except for a few. Adam and John won't be allowing the Order to execute their sisters. When the massive explosion at the keep happened, they searched for them, letting John blow quite a bit of it up. Day turned into night.

Kurogiri's portals opened. Flooding the streets with magical creatures, Mothmen, and enraged villagers. They marched through the streets like they owned them because, at this moment, they did. Adam spotted Yoon. The four-armed man was slaughtering in complete joy, carrying a passed-out Kurogiri. Adam whistled and caught his attention. Yoon is there instantly, beaming as he hugs Adam and John too tight with one set of arms.

"Ugh. Get off me, Yoon. Listen closely. Pay attention. The little Queen is here. She's missing. Do you understand?" Adam mimed until John chittered at him, giggling at Adam. Yoon stiffened and nodded in seriousness. He lathed his tongue over one of Adam's wounds, much to Adam's personal disgust. Then straightened his feelers, beckoning them to follow.

He found you pretty quickly. You are cornered by two sidekick knights. A green one and a blonde with blue eyes. They were busy with one of the Moth princes, Darvish, and his doctor. Seems like many wanted the little Queen. Yoon has seen that look on females' faces before. Full labor. Yoon didn't have time to play with his kind. He grabbed John's hand. Letting him feel the vibration of his words.

"John. I need space between your sister and the knights," Yoon said slowly. Adam grinned, reaching into his layers of leather to pull out a crystal attached to a button. One push of that button put plenty of space between them, "Warn a man!"

Yoon tossed Kurogiri at Adam. Quickly stabbing the one that doubted you are a moonbeam in the neck, snatching up you and Imogene. John is convincing Kurogiri to wake up. He opens a Portal where Darvish and his doctor end up with them. Lyra shrieked and bolted upright.

"What are you doing here? Where is Shigaraki? His mate is going into labor. He's the one who should be here," Yoon chittered.

"Get her on the table," The doctor shouted as Lyra scrambled for hot water.

"We're not leaving without our family. That and Kurogiri wouldn't leave without Lyra," Adam gruffed. Smacking at a glitching Kurogiri, who was passing out again.

"Well, it's too late now," Kai said. Pulling his hand from between the Queen's legs and rewashing his hands, "She's fully dilated. These grubs are coming. We can't move her now."

"When the doctor says I want you to bare down from your middle," Imogene instructed. You shake your head, no, "Don't "no!" me. You have to."

"Nope. I changed my mind. I don't want to do this," You say, trying to sit up. Lyra gently pushes you back down.

"Too late for that, I'm afraid," Lyra said kindly. You grip her and pull her into a full weeping hug.

"I'm scared," you admitted. Feeling weaker. It's not like you didn't know the risks, but no, that they are here, you are terrified. Horrid pain radiates from your center in intervals.

"Anyone who doesn't have medical training needs to get out. I need to deliver multi babies with multi limbs," Kai announced. Imogene, helping to set up receiving for three grubs, "Create four."

"Four!" everyone shouted. Kai nodded.  

"Four. Now get the hell out!" Kai hissed. Yoon and Darvish watched each other intensely while the rest of your family helped Shot and Fuyumi with what was left of Dabi.  

"What are you doing here? Where's Shigaraki? He should be here with his mate. Not you," Yoon chittered at Darvish. Staring at their group falling apart.

"Shigaraki promised a position in the Queen's harem if I deliver her. I'm an honorable male. I'll take the crumbs for now," Darvish grinned. Yoon did not like this. Something felt off to him. He was missing something, and it felt like, at any moment, things could turn disastrous.

"The moment the Queen gives birth, we should take her to Shigaraki. Human females do not handle birth well. I had several mates at one time. There's a forty percent chance she would die with a normal birth. Multiple grubs," Yoon said, trailing off. Darvish is shaking his head in disagreement.

"I met Shigaraki's doctor. I do not trust his abilities to help the Queen. He seemed to harbor animosity towards her. My doctor will save her," Darvish stated.

"I agree. However, I am not leaving her alone with you," Yoon growled.

"Fair enough," Darvish replied.

You  held onto your fluffy nursing boy and felt overwhelmed. He looked exactly like Shigaraki. Covered in white fluff, large red eyes, and tiny little antennae. You brushed his cheek, and he chirped around your nipple. Kai quickly unwrapped the umbilical cord from around your second albino bundle. He worked swiftly with the help of your sister.

"A girl. A four-armed girl is highly rare," Kai said over her screeching. Your sister cleaned and wrapped her, placing her on your other breast. She rooted until she found your nipple. Immediately settling down with a coo. Her pink eyes rolled. A four-armed little girl. Twins.

"We're going to need you to push," Lyra said somewhere far away. You mustered your strength and pushed. Screaming in pain and exhaustion. Slumping back when you heard a screeching.

"It's a boy. Pure black. Dark magic user for sure," Lyra said, hanging him to Imogene.

"You have to keep pushing," Imogene shouted. You tried to tell her it was hard to hear.

"She's blacking out. I need to cut the last one out," Kai said.

"Don't you dare!" Lyra screamed. So much shouting, yet still so hard to hear.

"Where's my baby?" you mumbled before blackness and chaos.

It is a flurry of activity. The pure black four-armed baby girl is much smaller than the other three. She is shallowing breathing and is the most human looking with a lack of fur. Her eyes are like your black ones. Twin moons in a starry black sky. Lyra uses her magic to save her life.

"Can't you use your magic?" Lyra asks Kai flustered.

"My magic doesn't work that way," Kai said, examining you. Adam burst in, taking charge. Freezing when he sees you cut open a bloody mess.

"Is she dead?" Adam asked in a small voice.

"No. She's close to it. As is this little one," Kai said.

"Right. Gather the babies. We are taking them with Dabi and us to Shigaraki's doctor. Imogene and Yoon are going with Darvish and Doctor Kai," He announced as Shoto dragged in a lifeless Dabi. Kurogiri seeing Lyra opened a portal to the Shigaraki. Lyra felt her magic stretch as she took the baby and helped with Dabi. There was no time to argue. Children piled through the portal. Yoon snatched you up, and the others went through the other doorway.

Shigaraki sat at the edge of the tank he was about to be emerged in. Tubes and wires handing off his body. Lyra shoved a dying grub in his arms and his instincts lit up. A four-armed beauty. Those rumors about Nana must have been true. She is so dark she looks like she is made of the night. Her little antennae twitched. Her nude soft human body lay too limp in his dangerous hands. Her ruff and fuzzy hair ruffled as she sneezed. He nuzzled her, and she weakly gripped his antennae.

"Doctor. Don't argue with Lyra. Give her everything she wants. I'll be changing with this one," Shigaraki rasped. Dreadful regret as Doctor Ujiko shoved needles and wires into her tender flesh. They were about to sleep together when his nature raged one last time in the seizing darkness. Something severed his connection to you.

"As  I said. My magic doesn't work that way," Kai said casually to you and Imogene. Reducing Yoon to a fine red mist. He needed to take him out first. He saw how quickly and easily Yoon had killed a highly trained prince, "The Men from your hive are something else."

Kai caught you and Imogene by the forearm. You are so confused. A hot searing lighting bolt feels like it is ripping you apart atom by atom. Imogene screaming somewhere in the back of your mind. A clawed hand clamped tightly over your mouth.

"Shhhh, they will hear you, little moonbeam," Darvish hissed. Hiding you under his wing as something huge slithered along. He let you go to talk.

"What is happening?" you whispered. Darvish blinked and twitched in sadness.

"Kai used your sister to save you. He killed Yoon and threw us here. Don't worry, little mate. I will get you safely to your grubs and mate," Darvish whispered. Pulling you close.

"What? Where are my babies? Where is my sister?" you asked, teary-eyed. Blood dripping from your black eye. He licked and cooed to you in the perpetual night.

Chapter 26

[silver-violet]

Gonna copy and paste some of my lore that has glacius and Sam's first meeting. I recently retyped it and while it's not heavily focused on g/t it is a main subject so enjoy! (also sorry about some of the random references, like I said it's basically just a. Cutout from my lore doc so-)

Story below the cut!

Glacius spent the next few years taking odd jobs and committing petty theft, during which his guardianship was appointed to him (I. don't think I've told you this before but. the way someone becomes a guardian is by the previous one passing, and then inheriting it. No it isn't random and that isn't important until Atreus' part of the story) Due to this, he soon became a mercenary and gained infamy. Eventually, he was scouted by the white knights, joining their ranks. Over the years alone, he had grown cold and distant, harboring resentment for his brother. This attitude helped him advance in the company over the years, leading him to finally live a (relatively) normal and comfortable life. At age 27, some of his more recent jobs began sticking out to him. His targets shifted from arguable evil people, to some who didn't seem deserving of their fate. While this bothered him, he trusted in the company's morals, and continued through. During one of these missions, he was tasked with collecting an artifact that had been raided from the company, and stealing it back from the unground auction it was being held at.

The mission began smoothly, with him managing to slip into the building unnoticed, and sneaking through the unmonitored halls. His target was simply an unmarked door, locking it behind him as he slipped inside. the only light in the room came from under the door, and a dying bulb in a distant corner. It was enough to look over everything though, and he sighed upon seeing the various rows of items. Some were special enough to be set in their sections, while others were simply tossed in piles. Despite the grueling task of searching, Glacius continued on, the minutes ticking by.

Long after the search had started, The artifact still wasn't found. However, one of the items did catch his eye. standing alone from the piles of jewelry and precious relics, was a small birdcage, covered with a tarp. he paused, debating whether it was worth wasting his time on. Curiosity got the better of him, however, as he approached the strange object and pulled aside the covering. Inside was a small creature, frozen in fear as it looked up at him. It took him a few seconds to process how...Human it looked. Its upper half was almost entirely human, minus its thin tail and folded ears. Not to mention the large wings sprouting from its back, and the rodent-like bottom half. After a few seconds of silence between the two, glacius shifted back slightly, crouching to study it better. The creature flinched as he did so, but had nowhere to hide within the barren cage. He felt pity for the creature, however decided to just cover it again. As he was moving to do so, his ears picked up the faintest sound.

"ᵖ⁻ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ. . ." they whispered, their form trembling. Glacius was unsure how to respond, surprised they could speak, let alone in any language he could understand. He thought of what to say for a moment, feeling sympathy for the small thing.

"Hey-" he began, pausing as they flinched from the sound. he lowered his voice to a whisper, crouching lower so as to not loom over them. "hey...it's fine, I'm not one of the ones who put you here." The creature didn't react, and he was beginning to think he had just imagined it as it mumbled again.

". . .ʸ⁻ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗˀ," they said, a glint of hope in their voice. they were still trembling, but seemed less likely to dart away now. ". . .ᵂ⁻ᵂʰʸ ᵃʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵉʳᵉ ᵗʰᵉⁿˀ"

He mulled it over for a second, thinking of how to phrase it without seeming like he was dangerous to them. "They took something, and I was hired to take it back." The creature seemed conflicted with this, but chose to believe him as they took the smallest step forward.

". . .ᶜᵃⁿ. . .ᶜᵃⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗ⁻ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵉ ᵗᵒᵒˀ" They didn't quite trust him, but any fate seemed better than where they were now. He wasn't quite sure how to respond, looking away in thought.

"I. . .don't see why not. But you have to be silent," he said, waiting for their response.

They nodded, their shaking beginning to subside. Glacius opened the doors of the cage, holding his hand out as the small figure jumped onto it. Carefully, he held his hand to his shoulder, allowing them to jump on as they clung to his collar. In this position, he was able to hear them better, their whispery voice becoming louder. After closing the door of the cage, he covered it once more, hoping that would delay their discovery. Before he went back to his search, glacius paused, an idea coming to his mind.

". . .Have you seen something that looks like a box made of gears?"

"Was it u-uh. . .Brown?"

"Exactly." Glacius looked down to see them pointing near a pile he had searched through before, nevertheless he went through it again. After even more time rummaging through it, he finally found what he was looking for, carefully stashing it away in his bag. "Thanks. . .uh. . ." he blanked on their name, realizing they had yet to introduce themselves.

"S-Sam. . ."

"Glacius." Before the smaller man could try to continue the conversation, glacius made his way to the door, cracking it slightly as he peered through. Once he was sure it was safe, he made his way back into the hallway, the door clicking closed quietly behind him. Despite the extra passenger, he was able to follow his route back out, soon on the edge of the property. From there, he was able to take his time through the wilderness, though still on edge for anything nearby.

Any questions Sam asked were either met with silence or merely a sound; And any conversation starters were the same, met with single-word replies. It didn't matter, however, as after a quick trek, glacius was able to spot his car and climb inside. He stopped as he went to grab his seatbelt, realizing it would most likely hit the man on his shoulder. He held his hand out to them once more, and they climbed on as he lowered it to his passenger seat. Sam glanced to the side as he was doing so, catching glimpses of various weapons in the back of the man's car. He questioned whether he had made the right choice, but realized it was too late as the car began to move.

The two began to bond as they stuck around each other. Sam had no idea where he had come from and had nothing to go back to. And despite glacius never admitting so, he enjoyed the company the small man provided him, and so they stuck together, unbeknownst to the company.

[musesofthemoon]

"have you thought about getting another dog?" yui quietly asks, looking away from kotomo. her shoes seem interesting now. "i-i'm just curious... since i've thought about getting another puppy myself."

Kotomo isn't too taken by the question, especially since it's something she HAS thought about for a while. She'd definitely like to have another dog, especially since she'd been caring for some in her own neighborhood, and can tell what it takes. Yui's in a similar enough boat with Chaco, so it could be a good idea to just tell her what she's already thought of.

"Yeah, actually, I have," she replies. "I've even asked Sis if we ever could, and she said we can once she's got a more stable job-" Kotomo doesn't know when that could possibly be, but it's at least a goal that the girls can look forward to. "But I don't think the Amanos really have that problem, so I don't really think you'd have to worry about that-"

But after mulling that over, she gets excited by the idea of Yui getting another friend, and shoots the other girl a grin. "So if you're thinking about it, what kinda puppy would you wanna get? Another Shiba, or something different?" There's obvious interest in her eyes, dogs are always a good subject to talk about in her eyes.

[olympianbutch]

i hope this makes sense, but i've had this back-and-forth with my faith in my head for years and in light of your recent post i was wondeing - if you're in the headspace to talk about this - what your thoughts are on the theoi and their relations with otherwise bigoted worshippers. ex: if a bunch of terfs claim to hear from Aphrodite that trans women aren't real women, what am i to make of that ? does their bigotry distort how their receive messages from the theoi, and in which case, does that mean the gods support of me and my queer fellows in my mind are also our own distortion ? are they being guided towards a better mindset and being given the benefit of the doubt ? if i (a trans man) think i'm talking to a loving Aphrodite while a terf thinks they are talking to a radfem Aphrodite, what makes any of this matter ? if the theoi would give their love to those who wish me dead, what is the purpose of my faith ? i've never known how to make sense of this, but it won't ever stop me from loving the theoi (particularly my relationship with Dionysos - i mean, cmon, there's nothing cisgender about him)

I promise I haven't been ignoring your ask, anon. I've just been taking some time to mull over this, and it really got me thinking.

The cognitive science of religion posits that every human being comes equipped with a sort of "spiritual toolbox." This means that evolutionarily, we hominids are prone to exhibiting or exercising religious thoughts and behaviors. How these thoughts and behaviors manifest is incredibly diverse. Seriously, you would be astounded by the cultural and religious diversity of our species. And historically, diversity has been met with either fear or hatred (though these are by no means mutually exclusive).

I believe that fear and hate are contrary to our nature because it inhibits progress (evolutionarily, we are an incredibly progressive species). I think that the gods—being the governors of nature—would oppose that which is contrary to progress. And thus I believe that the gods do not inform or support or arbitrate transphobia (or any kind of bigotry, for that matter).

My feelings on this aren't exactly convoluted, yet this is a topic that requires a full range of thought. So, I consulted two of the smartest transsexuals I know (@ofsappho & @hekateanfoodie) to see what they had to say about this:

Areia says . . .

"To speak from a more personal perspective, the truth is, as a queer/trans person of color, I have no idea whether or not what people who want to hurt me and see me dead and claim that they speak to my gods experiences are 'real.'

I have no way of externally verifying what is going on with them.

But I look for the theoi in my life and i see that divinity everywhere. I love how this poem describes it. Personally? In my opinion, divinity is inherently subversive and outside the 'norm' and unconventional.

The gods do not love what hurts that which they love, I know that to be true

If they think the gods hate me and they speak for the gods, that is blasphemous

And impious

That is objectively true

So I guess… I look and see how the gods love me everywhere and how divinity seeps through the cracks of ordinary life and celebrates the extraordinary. Being transgender is a calling and I would not experience it if the gods didn’t intend for me to walk this path."

Mika says . . .

"I’m going to use Christianity as the biggest example here because it has the largest pool to pull from. I also don’t think tackling this question from a theological standpoint is entirely helpful because theology is too subjective for us to find any meaningful discourse. Also it’s too easy for the other side to react with the same argument of 'this is what I believe.' (Though we can talk about orthopraxy and how belief is secondary so really all this is a moot point to begin with!)

Regarding the point: religion can be used for either oppression or liberation. Which is entirely up to you. MLK was Christian, as was Adοlf Ηitler… but if we were to ask the majority of people on earth who god favors which do you think the consensus would be? If we were to ask who was more worthy of heaven, Harriet Tubman or Christopher Columbus, who do you think the consensus would agree upon? The point here is that regardless of personal belief—Liberation. Is. Just.

And we can talk about who Aphrodite loves more based on personal experience with the divine until we are blue in the face, but who do you think is more rewarded on earth? The TERF, or the trans masc butch with love for all?

I personally think that what we do on this earth matters more than what we do in the afterlife. As much as Orphism and eschatology fascinates me- contemplating death is meaningless if you didn’t do anything here to make conditions for everyone else better. The ground we walk on is holy. The way we conduct ourselves while walking Earth is observed by the gods.

And if you spend your time trying to invalidate your fellow humans- instead of making life better for them- the ground you walk on will be blighted.

That’s like not religious contemplation that’s just a fact lmfao. If you spend your time conceiving ways to make other people miserable for existing you will blight the earth. Lmfao."

I don't exactly have any concluding thoughts (,: I just think we would benefit from chewing on these ideas for a while