#so I wont get upset or anything if you ask me dw

[hamelinsnightmare]

Related to my last post: If I blocked you because you used to not credit gifs but now you credit gifs in stims, you’re allowed to shoot me an ask and say “hey man I used to not credit gifs but now I credit them can you please unblock me” and I will unblock you. No harm no foul or anything

[skyartworkzzz]

💜 My name is Sky (she/her), Im a brazilian artist whos constantly hopping between multifandom and original stuff!

Be warned that some of my content may involve sensitive topics that I usually censor accordingly, but heads up to that in cases I dont!

If you send me an ask, do keep in mind that I may take a while to answer, since depending on what it is I might feel inclined on drawing a response to it.

☁️ CURRENT HYPERFIXATION: Cult Of The Lamb ☁️ ☁️ ART TAGS: #myart , #skyartworkzzz || TEXT TAG: #stfu sky ☁️

☁️ ORIGINAL WORK ☁️ - @streetdogsthecomic (tags: #streetdogs , #streetdogscomic , #street dogs , #street dogs comic) - Infiniteverse (tags: #infiniteverse)

☁️ MASTERPOSTS ☁️ - Cult Of The Lamb - Undertale + Frans

💜 >> ALL MY LINKS << 💜

💜>> COMMISSIONS INFO <<💜

Down below is some boundaries and FAQs that could be important to newcomers, so feel free to take a read! :D

🚩 BOUNDARIES 🚩

Please do not DM me to chat unless ure a mutual, a commissioner or have smtng to tell me, I am not comfy with strangers

I am not okay with art generators, so please do not throw my work into those machines

Please avoid getting too comfy on the inbox, suggestiveness is fine to an extent until u start being too descriptive

Still on the topic of NSFW, please avoid saying/doing anything of the sort when it comes to my sona(s) or me. It makes me rlly uncomfy

DNI if u support Isr4el

📍 FAQ 📍

Can I make fanarts/fanfics/video-edits of your work? - YES OFC!! Id love to see it too! So feel free to tag me <3

Can I dub/translate your comics? - Yeah!! As long as u make sure to credit me, I wont mind! ^^

Can I trace/edit your art? - Unless it is for PERSONAL usage (that is, what you do will not be posted publicly), I am not okay with people drawing over my work and posting it as their own. With credits or not, it'd still upset me

Can I use your art on my video/post? - As long as u credit me somewhere visible, I am fine with it!

What's with the @sky-without-artworkz acc? - OKAY SO funny long-story short, when I made this Tumblr I didnt kno what a Primary Blog was and, at the time, that acc was my main for everything until I wanted smtng more organized for Art only. But instead of revamping my whole page, I simply made a new blog, which is this one ure following rn Sadly, Tumblr still does not allow to switch which is the main blog, SO if you see a @sky-without-artworkz interacting with things that u tag @skyartworkzzz to, dw! Thats me!

This post shall be edited if anything else comes up, for now have fun and tysm for ur support! 💜💜💜

[pjsk-writin]

OH WAIT REQS ARE OPEN AGAIN????

Okay... But only as long as you promise ur okay with it and wont do anything youre uncomfortable with and take care and drink water and get sleep and-

you probably get my point-

Anywayssssss~~~ Do u think u could do headcannons for a reader who is dating Rui, but is also one of Tsukasa's siblings? I love the 'siblings best friend' trope and also i dont have the greatest relationship with my actual brother, so ive always seen Tsukasa in a brotherly light :)

ONCE AGAIN, TAKE. UR. TIME. (get used to this bc from now on whenever i req stuff itll include this section of me threatening u lovingly to take care of urself ^^)

dw i am the taking care of myself king !!!/hj but I appreciate the threats/lh and it's such a wonderful trope fr, I hope u like this !! <3

☆ TSUKASA'S SIBLING - Rui Kamishiro x Reader

Tsukasa didn't really intend to introduce you to any of his troupemates until later on, but one thing led to another and he had to introduce you to them all. This, of course, includes Rui

From the moment you met, you and Rui kept shooting glances at each other, immediately clicking. While Tsukasa didn't catch onto what was going on, Nene certainly did-

Poor Nene was forced to sit through Rui rambling about how much he liked you, but he didn't want Tsukasa to be upset with him

On the flip side, you were rambling to Saki about how much you liked Rui, but you didn't want Tsukasa to be weirded out by you dating his troupemate

Saki decides to ask Tsukasa about it for you, and he simply laughs and says he doesn't mind, as long as Rui stops trying to explode him out of a canon-

With that information in hand, you decide to confess to Rui. He's surprised at first, but he accepts your confession with a grin and a kiss to the back of your hand <3

You and Rui start dating after that, and it's absolutely wonderful for you both! Saki and Nene are relieved that you both finally stopped gushing to them-

Tsukasa naturally tries his best to make you happy, so as long as you're happy with Rui, he supports you both 1000%!!

You can expect Tsukasa to give you a bunch of information he's learned about Rui, much to his embarrassment. Tsukasa also does the same about you to him though-

There has also been times where you could see Tsukasa cheering you both on while you're out on a date. It might be embarrassing, but it's nice that he cares about you!

It also helps that Rui laughs it off most of the time, he can definitely see why Tsukasa admires you so much and is determined to love and treat you right! <3

[spidrstar]

STARS RULES

GENERAL RULES

★彡 Welcome to my rulebook my loves!! <3

★彡 Im still getting the hang of tumblr, just keep that in mind 🥲

★彡 When I say i’m gonna upload a certain day and i don’t sometimes please don’t get upset, it’s a thing i do where i make a schedule and don’t end up following it (it’s really not my fault, shit happens bare with me😔)

REQUEST RULES

★彡 I’m always open to requests!! I tend to run out of ideas quickly, you’ll know when they’re closed when i say so in my ask box :)

★彡 I will write for - miles morales (e!42) and miles morales (e!1610)

WONT WRITE

★彡 ‘character’ x ‘character’ aka ships, to me personally they’re boring and if i think that when i read them i wouldn’t be able to write them ‘reader’ x ‘character’ only sorry!!

★彡 NSFW (i feel so weird and uncomfy when writing shit like.. ‘his cock went in and out of her pussy🤓’ i’m sorry i physically cant ..) NO OFFENSE TO THOSE WHO WRITE LIKE THIS!! i have no issue reading them it’s just when it comes to writing i have.. a problem. The farthest i can go is dick and that’s it. 😭

★彡 ‘male reader’ x ‘character’ Im a female and do not know shit about being a male (obvi..) so won’t be doin any of that sorry!!

★彡 Anything that has to do with rape, abuse, racism or homophobia.

WILL WRITE

★彡 Female reader

★彡 I can try my best to do gender neutral

★彡 I know i said no smut/NSFW, but there will be suggestive content so dw i got y’all😉

DOS

★彡 Give me your honest opinions!! Please give feedback and criticism if you have it, tell me what you think about my work or anything that could help me improve my writing.

★彡 Be patient. I work hard on everything I write and usually i take my time to make sure it comes out great for you guys to read + I have to make sure I, myself, am satisfied with what I wrote; (brainstorming ideas/adding more interesting things/plot twists etc.)

DONTS

★彡 Don’t rush me!! ESPECIALLY if you request something. I’ll get to it when I get to it. If you want high quality work you gotta wait, and if you don’t wanna then get off my page 🤷‍♀️ And again, when I post things like “i’ll have this up by (set date)“ please don’t believe me most of those times.. I usually have things going on I won’t know about until then and will have to pause on my writing so it’ll come out later than usual.

★彡 DOOOO NOTTTT STEALLL MYYY WORKK!!!!!! I literally stay up til like 11 am writing some of these and i put so much effort, and it’s definitely not for people to just go and steal/repost/claim my work. If you ever get inspired, just give credit.

★彡 Send hate, give harsh/mean opinions that are not needed, death threats etc. I will either ignore them or come right back at you with the same energy.❤️

That’s all!! These will change whenever i feel like changing them, because it’s my rulebook ;3 If you cannot follow any of the things listed please DNI. G’Bye!!

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

[adios-gatos]

I hope I'm not too late for the ask meme, could I ask n° 1 for the boys? Any combo you feel like! - Piraticusdorm

of course you arent dw!!

CONRAD:

BELLUS: - first of all hes already v into the piraticus dorm’s uniform for the shirts mostly and is usually into pretty people so the moment he sees conrad and his flashy fashion hes 👀. though conrad doesnt seem like the kind of person bellus would actually get a crush on?? its likely because hes an authority figure dnksa - not having a crush wouldnt stop him from hitting on conrad occasionally, mostly because bellus enjoys flustering people who seem composed. he does Not understand that being a mermaid in of itself can make others uncomfortable even if theyre in the same dorm - does want to braid some of the water flowers in the lake the boys claimed into conrads hair. if conrad declines he might try to sneak them in as a little game

MERI: - for reasons he wouldnt admit too, somehow meris jealous that conrad has kenns respect?? hes a lil jealous of anyone kenn respects but hes the most jealous over conrad - because of that hes huffy towards conrad and gives him the silent treatment. which doesnt really work on someone who doesnt know you but maybe its a blessing if anything and no one should explain that to meri - meri has made Many plans for pranks against conrad but conrad seems like a v observant guy?? so that and caspian and kenn being there to stop meri makes the situation lowkey feel like a wilde coyote and roadrunner one tbh

CASPIAN: - so like. he and the others had to get over their opinions about pirates pre-nrc quickly when they were put into the piraticus dorm and hes done p well with that. but he still cant stop feeling wary when he sees conrads eye patch and hat he wears in the dorm(?). but kenn likes him and the feeling isnt as bad whenever conrad is in more casual clothing so caspian just tolerates it - even with that, he enjoys the times conrad plays the piano and sings with everyone

KENN: - he has a lot of respect for conrad for being able to manage the dorm and as a result everyone within in. despite that he lowkey avoids talking to him when he can since after moving to nrc hes become Aware of the opinions people have about mermaids mostly because now he cant ignore them. so kenns likely aware of the fact conrad is uncomfortable around mermaids and tries to restrain the others enough where conrad doesnt have to get involved - probably overthinks if his magic specifically makes conrad uncomfortable since his is straight up siren magic. he learned that it isnt acceptable to just use his magic whenever he feels like during first year but since theyre both third years, when kenn remembers how he was when he was still adjusting hes just ‘god conrad saw that.’ hes found hours later by caspian with his head in his hands still embarrassed  - vibes a lot with the keeping your word but using any loopholes possible method conrad also uses. may or may not try to subtly point out loopholes to him if he somehow looks over one

TINK:

BELLUS: - likes trying to pick out the bells in tinks voice whenever hes singing and enjoys even more watching tink dance. bellus is most interested in whenever tink flies while dancing but the thought of doing the same makes him a lil skittish. flying seems fun but he isnt fond of the thought of what happens if you fall. you cant fall when youre in water!! - with the fact hes a hopeless romantic, the moment he hears about tinks secret admirer hes !!! and also trying to find out who it is. though if/when he does, he wont tell tink who it is because that Ruins the Suspense!! The Mystery!! that doesnt keep bellus from using knowing that secret to tease tink though so f

MERI: - even if meri isnt the nicest of the gang, he does like tinks pranks and will try to get tink involved in his. especially the ones that involve octavinelle - may Try to not provoke tink besides playful teasing because of the fact he sees tink as a potential prank buddy. he also understands neverland faeries more than mainlanders and non mermaid folk in general so hes more willing to rein himself in if it means tink will join his games - they both have some similar qualities like being quick to act out & fight and having fun at the expense of others. theyd either get along well or butt heads. maybe a bit of both! if they do play pranks together itd be harder for meri to get genuinely mad at tink when they clash. though he might end up treating it like a game and make tink more upset when they do smh

CASPIAN: - thinks its amusing to watch tinks pranks but he wont outwardly show more than maybe a smile at his antics - since he likes people watching and sometimes drawing said people, caspian probably has some drawing of tink in his journal mostly focused on his face. he just remembers all the other neverland faeries hes seen from the lagoons whenever he sees tink and with that, the rest of neverland. so drawing tink reminds a bit of home - even with that association caspian still doesnt talk to tink often like how he does with most other people

KENN: - lowkey associates tink with caspian since they both have the right hand man role going on - also sees tinks pranks as entertaining, its just whenever meri is there too he becomes more wary about the situation - he does want to respect tink since hes a vice dorm leader, its just whenever he sees him around the dorm he cant help but just be internally “whos this lost sassy child..........” the 9 inch height difference they have doesnt help tink out there

KROK:

BELLUS: - for some reason krok Does seem like someone bellus would have a crush on?? itd be a one sided one and off type of crush more than anything but its still there in the background - dnvs i could see bellus unintentionally scaring off krok more than anything with his flirting when its taken into account the reputation neverland mermaids made for themselves. hes out there trying to braid kroks hair and playfully splash him and convince him to sunbathe with the others because theres snacks and kroks just “oh god this guys gonna try to drown me” - so maybe he does also splash people he doesnt like but its about the Context yknow? - a lil confused when he hears that krok cant sing Or play instruments and offers to teach him. which mostly involves getting caspian to teach him because bellus is only a good teacher when the topics about stars. but he Will be willing to sit through the lessons with him

MERI: - hes a lil intimidated by the fact kroks a crocodile even if krok doesnt get into fights in the first place especially unprovoked. though considering meri tends to provoke Everyone, he might have a good reason to be wary - also isnt fond of kroks ability to eat others magic since he relies on his so much. and with the fun combination of meris temper, his unintentional magic usage when hes upset, the fact the piratcus dorms are on the ocean, and that being on a ship doesnt make a boiling ocean any more comfortable, kroks likely had to eat meris magic before. hes still upset about it - even though their height difference is only 4 inches, meri sometimes squats when they do talk out of spite - despite all of that, he does appreciate that kroks an honest person because lying about emotions is such a hassle. though he also thinks that krok not hiding things too takes the fun out of things

CASPIAN: - tbh he cant comprehend the concept of someone not being good at both playing instruments and singing, mostly because hes used to being around music focused magic back home. like?? are you saying you cant even play a shell horn?? what the fuck???? he assumes krok is just fucking with them even if krok tries to prove he isnt - if krok does accept bellus’s offer to learn how to play, caspian is a pretty patient person so hopefully thatd make krok more comfortable? outside of that, caspian does enjoy playing and talking with the fish and birds around the campus so that could be something they could talk about- - caspian does lie a lot though especially to people he isnt close to so that might bring up some issues between them vdsv

KENN: - “caspian theres a weird fucking cat outside” - kenn when he first sees krok sunbathing - he understands wanting time to relax but he doesnt get sleeping all the time. hes used to everyone always wanting to splash and play back home and only stop to brush their hair and sunbathe so someone willingly choosing to just snooze whenever he can?? why’d you do that........ - even if he doesnt understand it he’ll still try to not wake up krok if hes sleeping outside again. sometimes bellus and meri get past him but he does what he can to keep them from bothering him like he does with most - hes v interested in kroks magic tbh since it seems v useful to have on hand. hes also a lil curious about what his own magic tastes like

[faejilly]

Hello, Jilly :) You probably wont see this. But I was wondering if you wrote any metas/fics regarding Alexander's first time with Magnus on here, Twitter or whatever? I mean the way YOU feel it all went down. Would you mind sharing the links? I'd love to read it if it's not too much trouble to ask.

I absolutely still check my tumblr nonny, I usually see my messages (minus the occasional tumblr glitch of course). I’m not always in a place where I can reply quickly, but. 🤷‍♀️ (Eventually is better than never?)

Anyways.

I haven’t really written or meta’d about their first time, though I was considering writing something for it for my soulmark fic, if I ever manage to get back to it, something mostly very sweet and slow, probably. On kind of the opposite end of the spectrum, I do also have a PWP ‘pro bono’ canon divergent thing I twitter-threaded about, though I’ve not managed to write that one either: https://twitter.com/faejilly/status/1159137895040606208?s=20 

RE: The actual show, I honestly quite liked what 2x18 did, and never felt any particular need to add to it via fic. They’re happy, giggling and delighted in each other in a way sex scenes usually don’t portray. But sex (especially purposeful first time together in a relationship sex) should be happy, or why are you doing it?

It seems obvious, from the way Alec acts around Jace and Izzy when they’re being overtly/casually sexual (re: Meliorn & ‘the book club’ etc.), ie straight-forward and neither judging or embarrassed, from how he had a harder time telling Magnus that he’d never had a relationship rather than the fact that he’d never kissed/had sex before, that TV!Alec doesn’t have a lot of sexual hang-ups. He isn’t upset about Magnus’ sexual history, he just thinks Magnus will be upset with his lack of one in comparison. He’s not exceedingly anxious about having sex with Magnus for the first time, just a perfectly reasonable :new thing?: level of anticipation/caution. (I think his behavior could easily be read that he’s not nervous for himself, but for whether it’s a reasonable thing to expect out of Magnus at this point in their relationship.. though obviously that’s not where the text of the show went, I don’t think it’s an entirely nonsensical interpretation of the subtext/performances.) There’s... not a lot to do with that for a fic beyond fluff/smut moments, which I feel like I do quite a lot of, even if it’s not specifically their first time.

I will say, if you want a really good “what does it mean to start a sexual relationship?” fic, I’d recommend “before we begin” by thingswithwings (twitter/ao3/dw) because it hits pretty much everything I feel like I might have tried to say so I’ve never felt any particular need to try my own hand at it.

Not to say that people shouldn’t write multiple takes on the same concept/trope/etc... I just. *shrugs* Never really occurred to me? I’m not against the idea of it, I just haven’t had any particular ideas for it either? I mean, I’ll add it to the Unending WIP List of Doom and see if anything comes of it, but I have no idea if/when that might happen.

[goldenkiva]

unfiltered rambling (this is a (long) vent post; cw for some irl death mentions, sui and self harm mention (nothing in reality), bad mental health time, all that jazz

well it’s 7:30 am and ive been awake since 4 am. which is an improvement really. i slept at 12:30am ish, in contrast to constantly sleeping at 8 am or later the past month or so. and it’s been taking a very bad toll on me lately mentally. everything has been building up and probably toyin’s death (yes the one who was found dead, we were classmates in middle/high school...) was my breaking point as i had a very bad panic attack a few days after. that lasted a good 22 hours before i fully calmed down. it always takes me 5-9 hours to calm down from anxiety or trauma related bad times as i have no real coping mechanisms and i will just literally do nothing but stay huddled up in bed until the unbearable feeling goes away. but that one. was just really bad. i think i also accidentally upset one of my best friends before that which also attributed to it (we’re fine now.) it’s been a bit since i had that panic attack but i still feel so bad all the time. sometimes i joke about wataru giving me chest pain bc i love him so much but i feel like i havent experienced physical emotion in so long i just want to feel it even if it’s painful. i dont self harm so dw about that btw. but i rarely shed even a single tear anymore when ive always been a total cry baby. i only cry full on tears and sobs now when im being over stimulated during a conversation. i just genuinely want to feel physically excited or happy or sad or whatever. i want to feel physical emotion again and not just numbness with an occasional laff or on the verge of getting watery eyes but not even real crying or whatever. 

i also had to get a new phone bc my dumb clumsy self dropped my phone flat on the screen a second time and it was unrepairable which makes me sad bc i only had this phone for two years and it still ran perfectly well. i wanted to keep it for 3-4 years at least...i got a new one ordered yesterday and im splitting price with my dad n i just feel bad i had to get a new one at all bc because of covid and shit my parents are only getting half the usual business and we already dont make a ton. thankfully my parents and sister are the type to not spend recklessly in general (i am prob the biggest spender...) but that wont stop my dumb of ass generalized anxiety disorder from making me worry about bankruptcy or poverty or some other extreme. i hate it bc i cant do anything about these thoughts except just what feels like sitting in mud and i slowly sink in. i wish i was an artist with more clout because i desperately want to be have consistent (or any) income. even before covid i always feel bad about not having a job. ik it’s hard to balance school and work anyway so it’s fine if im not working but it sucks. american college is a scam. at least i didnt go to an art school. (well. i am in art program in college. but not going to an arts dedicated school like ringling. which is significantly more expensive. if i went to art school id be significantly more likely to end up in very heavy debt) but i hate having gad. i hate not having any real coping mechanisms. i feel frustrated and a little annoyed when i asked about coping mechanisms for my anxiety with my therapist she just told me breathing exercises. which ig can be valuable but ik in my heart this wont help me at all. perhaps it’s un-dx’d adhd with rsd making me feel that way that makes me refuse to even want to do them. all my medical and health issues are also a contribution to my gad and financial terrors. sometimes it makes me wanna die but i wont do that. bc my friends and family would genuinely be very heartbroken if i were to suddenly be gone especially if by my own hand. i wouldnt want anyone to blame themselves either...

the only things genuinely making me feel anything lately is wataru and buck tick. it almost makes me a little upset how little amount of things make me happy or even feel anything rn. im reading a tragedy visual novel rn (which is very good and well written and i generally like tragedies and i find them indulgent) that i am enjoying very much yet i feel barley anything while reading it. i immensely miss the buck tick concert streams so bad. watching them over the month and half they streamed every saturday morning really put how much they love making music and performing in a brand new light to me, and watching that last concert bestias locus solus was just. so amazing. i dont know how to talk about it other than i was genuinely touched. they went all out playing at that concert stage bc it was their first time performing there (at the time in their 31 year career, 33 this year) and the unplugged performances and sakura especially got me so hard. im not good with words so im not doing a good job at all expressing how much that concert (along with the day in question 2017) made me feel. i miss it. i want to buy the dvds so bad but theyre so expensive and now is not a time for reckless spending. but one day i will attain them and experience the happiness they bring me again. im sad my friends arent rly into them the same degree i am but ig it really is such a personalized feeling. i was already in a state of dread and depression when i got into the band. but im still glad my other friends enjoy them and tell me they enjoy their music. their stuff slaps. theyre just an amazing band. a band not restricted by genre. a band who makes music because they love it and love performing and love their fans and dont get warped in the ideas of fame or fortune, and are fully okay with being normal people...a band with the same line up since their pro debut in 1989 because the members all love and care about each other so much. theyre still going strong in their mid to late 50s as they were in their late teens. they make me so happy...

well it’s 8 am now and if youve read this whole thing, thanks i guess? that sounds rude, but im just kinda sittin in the mud. im still in the midst of cleaning my room. i am not someone to recklessly hurt myself or anything like that so dont worry about that. i’ll be fine. probably. if you wanna listen to buck tick heres their spotify :) i recommend their albums atom miraiha no. 09, no.0 (especially the live performance version), kuratta taiyo, darker than darkness style 1993, aku no hana, and their kemonotachi no yoru/rondo double single. they slap so good. also spotify is missing literally like 15 years worth of their music from the 00s-10s. you can find downloads online though. theyre also releasing a new single in august im very excited for it. also, the singer of the band (atsushi sakurai) did a collab with sheena ringo where he sung the bg vocals of her song elopers, which was also made in sakurai’s image and she got it really dead set on tbqh. sheena ringo loves bt so yall should too :)

[lovesxiu]

I’m a huge BTS fan and I agree that I think the boys need to call out fans who are rude, but even on vlives when some fans ask for other members the boys seem very upset, but never say anything. I think they want to please everyone and don’t want to cause problems. Yknow you all have those friends that find it hard to stand up for them themselves. You can tell they’re not the type of guys to start an issue. I think it is getting to a point tho where the boys will have to do something.

Also! I’m a huge fan of EXO as well so please don’t see this as me hating EXO cause I adore them. I just wanted to put in a bit of a defense for BTS because I adore them as well and don’t want either groups to be seen as arrogant or rude cause of the fans. But I do agree with you that something needs to be done.

dw i def dont see this as u hating on exo!!! and i do can see where you’re coming from. Though this isnt really something like “he was mean to me but i dont wanna start drama so i wont say anything”. As idols with such a following it is their job to keep their fans at bay even if they’re uncomfortable with it and to be honest, just for the fact that some of the members of both groups are rlly good friends i also think they should speak up about it literally just out of mutual respect for each other