#so I woke up fully convinced this was now just. a normal part of the game.

[inkysploongame]

Last night I dreamt they finally added more communication options to Splatoon in the last update. I was so excited to finally be able to say more than just "Booyah!" and "This way!"

Vividly, I remember being in the middle of a battle (on Wahoo World of all places) when I hear someone call out on the right side of the map. As I turn, I see a Splat Bomb land in front of two of my teammates. One of them raises their arm and, in the same motion as the 'This Way!' emote, they yell

"There's a BOMB!"

It takes me a moment to realize that I've never seen that text before. I look down at the bottom left corner of my screen...and this is what I see.

[starcrossed-lov3rz]

The Vow Spoken Through Time - Part 2

Daemon x Rhaenyra x Wife!Reader

Series: Series Masterlist

Warnings: MDNI, general filth, threesome, smut, dirty talk, oral (male receiving), and Rhaenyra ‘talks you through it’ Targaryen

Tags: marriage, poly relationship, Daemon being hopelessly in love with his wives, Queen!Rhaenyra

Words: ~1.6K

Description: Y/N is having a rough morning. She's fired. She's hungover. She's in a stranger's bed. She's waking up in a new world? She's married?!

Rhaenyra and Daemon's day started normal. Waking up next to their darling wife before tending to their duties. The difference? Their wife is speaking in riddles and has no memories of them.

Check out more works in my Masterlist!

“Darling, you need to wake up,” Rhaenyra coaxes, stroking her fingers through your hair. “The tournament is today and the maids have already drawn you a bath.”

You groan, rolling away from your wife and back into Daemon’s warm side. “Five more minutes,” you grumble. 

Rhaenyra snorts out a laugh, “we both know what that will turn into.”

“It’s not fair,” you whine. “Why does Daemon get to sleep in? Isn’t he competing in this damn thing?” You pull the blankets up over your head in an attempt to shut out the light.

Rhaenyra yanks the blankets down, and the sudden chill from the morning air is enough to wake both you and Daemon. “Now you’re both up.”

You grumble, rolling out of bed and attempting to wipe the sleep from your eyes. “Can you pick a dress for me, Nyra?” 

Rhaenyra hums her agreement and rifles through your wardrobe to find something “tourney-appropriate.” You gaze at your wife, awestruck. It’s been six months since you woke up in Westeros. Y/N from a year ago couldn’t even imagine herself married, let alone to someone like Rhaenyra and Daemon. But now? You couldn’t really fathom life without them. Things were just….easy with them. Of course you argued, but the three of you never went to bed angry. You weren’t one to believe in soulmates, but the way they fit so effortlessly into you could convince you otherwise.

You softly pad across the room, sliding your arms around Rhaenyra’s waist and resting your chin on her shoulder. Pecking her cheek, you watch as she sifts through the wardrobe. “Does it really matter what I wear?”

“This is your first public outing since you lost your memories, of course it matters,” Rhaenyra chides. “I want this day to be perfect for you.”

You laugh light, nuzzling into Nyra and trailing kisses up her neck. “If you want this day to be perfect, we could just forget the tourney and make our own entertainment here.” 

“You’re insatiable.” Rhaenyra says, turning around to kiss you deeply. You moan into her mouth as she grips your hips and pulls you closer into her. She nips at your lower lip, drawing a gasp from you. Your hands fly up to grip her hair, the white locks soft and neat despite last night’s activities.

Rhaenyra breaks the kiss, hands trail up your sides as she pulls your shift up and over your head. You shiver at the cool air, but Nyra chases that away as she kisses and nips her way down your neck. A curse is stuck in your throat as Rhaenyra plucks at your nipple with deft fingers. Your hands cradle her head as you try to pull her back up into a kiss, but Nyra bats ur hands away and laves her tongue over your nipple. “Nyra, please,” you whine.

She glances to the bed behind, a smirk playing on her lips. “It appears we have an audience,” she purrs. You look over your shoulder to see Daemon, lounging on the bed in nothing more than his wedding rings. His back is against the headboard as he lazily strokes his cock. “What do you say darling?” Rhaenyra asks as she turns you to face Daemon fully. “Should we give him a show?”

You nod desperately, wanting nothing more than for Rhaenyra to touch you again.

“Use your words.” Daemon’s voice is gravely from sleep. 

“Please.”

“Please?” Rhaenyra teases. “I can’t give you anything unless you tell me exactly what it is you want.” Her left arm slides around your waist, holding you in place.

“Please touch me.”  

“I am touching you.” She nibbles at your ear as she tightens her grip on your waist.

“You know what I me-”

“Oh I don’t think I do. Where does my needy little dragon want to be touched?” Rhaenyra asks. “Here?” Her right hand ghosts across your cheek. “Or maybe….here?” Her hand falls to tweak at your nipple. 

“Ah-”

“No, I think you want me here,” Nyra purrs as she slips a hand between your thighs. You widen your stance, rocking your hips forward into her palm. She rubs tight circles on your clit as she reaches her other hand up to pluck at your nipples.

“You give in to her too easily,” Daemon chastises. “If you keep spoiling her like this, she’ll never want to leave our chambers.”

“My prince, don’t you have a tournament to prepare for?” you say as you turn your head to catch Nyra’s lips.

“Hmm, mouthing off are we?” Daemon hums in response. “I can think of a far better use for those pretty lips.”

“If you win today, I just might consider putting these ‘pretty lips’ to a use,” you tease.

Daemon’s gaze darkens and he motions you forward as he shifts to sit on the edge of the bed, spreading his thighs. You lick your lips in anticipation, stalking forward and dropping to your knees before him. Nuzzling into his knee, you kiss up his thigh and stop as you reach his cock. “Open,” he orders, slapping his cock lightly against your tongue. 

You shift your thighs, trying to get some friction. “There’s my obedient little slut,” Daemon purrs. “All that fire just disappears the second she’s on her knees.”

His fingers wind into your hair, guiding his cock into your mouth. You eagerly lap at the head of his cock, lightly sucking. “That’s it,” he moans. “Keep going, my love. Take me a little deeper.”

You moan as you bob your head to take him deeper, sliding a hand between your legs to toy with your clit. 

“None of that.” Rhaenyra says, pulling your hand away from your core before her hands replace Daemon’s to grip your hair. She sets a harder pace than Daemon, fucking your mouth down onto his cock. 

Spit drips down your chin as your moans vibrate along his shaft. “Fuck,” Daemon swears. “You feel so good, my love–taking me so well.”

“Like she’s made for us,” Rhaenyra finishes. 

Your hands grip at Daemon’s thighs as you fall into Nyra’s rhythm. You gag lightly as she forces you down a little too far. She pulls you back instantly, kissing your forehead in an apology before guiding you back down. 

“Just like that,” she murmurs. “Can you take a little more?” 

You attempt to nod as she slowly presses you down, and you feel the head of his cock bump the back of your throat.

“Gods,” Daemon moans. 

“Fuck, look at you.” Rhaenyra murmurs. “Halfway down his cock and gagging for more. You can keep going for me, can’t you?”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you’re determined. You swallow around his cock as you let Rhaenyra guide you down.

“Eyes up, I want to watch as you take me down your throat.”

Your eyes flutter as you meet his gaze. You struggle to get the last few inches, but even your breathing before sliding home. 

“Good girl,” Rhaenyra purrs. “Hold it.” Her hand holds you firmly down at the base of Daemon’s cock. “Right there.”

“Fuck, I’m so close.” Daemon breaths out. He moans, his hips bucking lightly as he struggles to restrain himself from fucking your face.

“Can you take it for us?” Nyra leans down to nip at your earlobe. “I want you to make Daemon come. You can do that, just a little more.”

Daemon swears as his restraint breaks. He thrusts up into your mouth, and you grip his thighs tighter in response. He climaxes with a low groan. Rhaenyra grips your hair harder, pulling your head back so you’re staring up at her.

“Don’t swallow,” she orders. “Open wide, let me see the mess he made.” You whine, eyes rolling back at her words. Your mouth drops open, and Rhaenyra groans at the sight. She leans down, kissing you fiercely, swiping her tongue across yours to taste Daemon’s cum.

You moan into the kiss, pulling at her dress in an attempt to get it off. 

“Later love,” she says, pulling away from you. “Your bath is getting cold.”

“But I didn’t-”

“We know,” Daemon smiles wickedly. “But I have a tourney to prepare for.” He wanders over to the wardrobe, pullings a pair of pants on before stopping to plant a kiss on your lips.

“Not fair,” you whine. “I didn’t get to come.” Your hands reach for his waistband.

“No,” Daemon scolds, clasping your hands together in his larger one and wrenching your body into his. “You’re not in charge here. You’re going to listen and obey like a good little girl.” You whine in response, nodding furiously in agreement. Suddenly, Rhaenyra’s warm body brushes up against your back. She nibbles lightly at your ear before kissing and licking her way down your neck.

“No need to be cruel,” Rhaenyra purrs. “Our little dragon is just begging for attention the only way she knows how.”

You whimper, canting your hips into Daemon’s. He slides a thigh between yours, pressing it up against your cunt. Your eyes roll back and you moan at the friction. “Please,” you breathe out, your teary eyes meeting his. 

“Later,” Daemon promises. “After I win the tournament, I promise to lock you in these rooms and fuck that needy cunt until you’re begging me to stop.”

NOTE: Should I…..turn this into an actual series with an actual plot….nahhhh. Maybe later. For now I’m just enjoying writing their dynamic. Can’t wait to drop part 3 for ya’ll.- Lacie <3

Taglist: @syraxnyra

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[slutt4ellie]

Summer Blossoms

PT2 - Wilted Covers

masterslist

PART 1 //

Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it can’t happen.

Summery - Yours and Ellie’s big fight has you both racking over what happened that night, and as of now you’re both falling apart, you feel as trying to fix it may be out of the picture..

Warnings -> Homophobia / Starts off in Ellie’s POV / Angst / Mean!Ellie 😬 / Implied Jealous!Ellie / Reader flirts with a guy but it’s short / Reader is convinced she’s straight 😭 / Guy flirts with reader / People are so mean to Ellie / Panic attack ☹️ / Angst / They’re both semi convinced it’s all platonic idk. / Denying of feelings / Internalized homophobia / Eventual smut / (Lmk if I missed anything else!!)

WC: 8k

(Not proofread!)

Ellie was lost at what exactly happened that morning..that night?...

She was laying on her bed looking up at her ceiling, the distance sound of her record player in the back making some ambience so it’s not just her thoughts.

The silence would have killed her and the music seemed like a solid distraction.

Perfect in between..

The thing Ellie was racking over was that she didn’t understand how you guys could go from literal cuddling, your lips on her skin, to you yelling at her to get out?...

She was trying to understand if maybe she possibly read too far into that night, like if she crossed the line, and maybe interrupted something wrong, she just didn’t get it. How the short nod of your head meant nothing. Of course being in response of Ellie’s words which were “You okay.”

She was trying to really lay it out, picture it, trying to fully fucking understand if she did something wrong. If she pushed you too far or even made you uncomfortable? She thought of it all. You just seemed so normal, then it all came crashing down

She hated the look she saw in your eyes, it reminded her of Emma, when she only had the face of disgust. She wanted to believe that since she saw that look once it wouldn’t hurt as much, but that was quickly proven wrong.

The way you looked at her made her feel sick, like she was some sort of monster. And the more she’s told it, the more people tell her those exact words, it’s starting to feel that way.

But then again, to be fair yours was a little different. It had the outside layers of disgust, but when looking further into it, Ellie felt like maybe you had some hidden emotions. Ones she couldn’t even read.

And unsurprisingly she was dwelling on it, it’s all she could think about. And she hated herself for it. Because why did she care what you thought when you could barely look at her.

Hardly acknowledged the fact that she too, had feelings?

“Kiddo!” Joel’s voice echoed from downstairs, having Ellie thoughts finally stop once she heard another voice pop out. “Come out of your room!” He says once again, his voice was a bit stern like there was not a lot of room for discussion.

Ellie was the first person Joel told, mainly because he was pushing after he woke up alone in your father’s house and saw the bruised up state Ellie was in..

Her appearance being left at the hands of Jack.

Ellie really didn’t wanna tell him, she felt she was now to grown to fall victim and tell Joel what happened. But that went out the window immediately once he asked if something had happened between you two, Ellie instantly felt an uncomfortable lump in her throat, pushing her to talk about it. Talk about what happened. Even though she really didn’t want to.

It was like word vomit, and once she started she couldn’t stop.

So Joel was very aware of why Ellie was turning quite frankly nocturnal, and he was truly trying his best to push her outside. Even to bring her down to your house, thinking that talking things out would help.

Which Ellie could only let out a bitter laugh, because he didn’t see your face.

“I don’t feel good” Ellie groans pushing further back on her bed using the palms of her hands. Weary of the fact Joel will probably enter her bedroom soon enough. “My nose still hurts” She sighs, and really that part wasn’t a lie, they got her nose checked out the day after she left your house, and it was indeed broken.

That part was barely a shock. Her nose was swollen and an idiot could figure out with a simple glance it was definitely broken.

And Ellie being weary of the fact he’ll probably open her door was being right cautious because that he does, the door opens not too long after she finished her sentence. The old man entering her bedroom with boots that hit each wood slab making creeks all over the floor. “Come on kid.” He says before stopping the record player and opening up the blinds. Letting the sun shine into her bedroom.

Ellie finally sits up and shaking her head “No. I’m not in the mood today.” She says harshly looking at Joel, his eyebrows furrow.

He’s prepared to tell Ellie off, tell her how it’s not fair to get mad at him, being prissy or whatever. But then again Joel knows it’s now the second time a friend has freaked out on her, yet this one she does like, and has developed actually romantic feelings.

“Listen kiddo..” He takes a pause, to sigh of course, trying to think about what to say to his daughter. He knows Ellie’s not all great with the feeling thing. And in all fairness, neither is he? Seems like that passed onto her. “I get you like her-“

Ellie was extremely quick to cut him off, deny any feelings she may have for you, reason being because it sounded to fucking real. Admitting it out loud, saying that she felt something when you rested your head on her, lips touching her skin. She wasn’t ready for that. So she shakes her head fast. “I don’t like her-“ Ellie says quickly, worrying that if she says those words slowly then he’ll be able to realize she’s lacking truth and confidence aspect.

Joel sighs. “Why are you sulking then?” He questions looking her up and down. And it’s true, she hasn’t left her room since the matter happened, skipping on meals. It’s not like usual Ellie. Not to mention she was crying while explaining what happened. Hiccuping over every other word, the sight was rough to say the least.

“Because I don’t fucking feel good!” She groans defensively. Her voice is venomous, trying to cover up that she was indeed hurting.

He sighs and sits on her bed. Joel knows Ellie, and knows that he doesn’t want her to fall down the same whole Emma left her in, she was rough after that, and it was clear you hurt his daughter. But Joel’s also been on this planet long enough to know most drunk words, or even mistakes, can in fact be sober thoughts.

And he’s seen the way you’ve looked at each other, it didn’t just seem “friendly”..

“Why don’t we invite them to the lake house, at least for the first day?” He suggest. Maybe going over the cracked concrete which was formed can be fixed with some layers. And if you guys talk it out, that’s one layer right there.

“No?” Ellie laughs and stands up, prepared to literally leave her own room just to escape this situation. She doesn’t want to talk about it, much less with Joel.

He shrugs and sighs. “Shame” He pauses and clears his throat, Ellie’s just looking at him with confusion, unsure of what his next words will be. “Because the night you left I already mentioned it to her father. So?”

Ellie freezes and looks at him, she not sure what to do, the easiest thing would be to not go, but the lake house is one of the biggest breaks during her whole fucking summer. It’s filled with no responsibility or work and it gives her much needed time to relax.

But if you’re there, what is she gonna do. She’s not in favour of seeing you again, and in all honestly she wanted to take the route of just ignoring you for the rest of summer, wait out the last month till you’re gone again.

But at the lake house, that’ll be impossible. It’s small enough with her and Joel, she can’t just avoid you?

“What the fuck? Why!” Ellie yells right at him. Regretting her word choice once she sees Joel frown, he seems genuinely hurt at her words. Clearly not taking it as a stupid outburst.

“Come or don’t Ellie. I’m not sittin’ here and havin’ you be mean..just tryna help you kid..” Joel says before standing up and leaving her bedroom. before Ellie could say anything. Which ends up leaving Ellie with more guilt.

She’s again left with her thoughts, the distance remedy of her record player now gone making it so, so, quiet.

She honestly didn’t know what to do. Ellie didn’t want to see you, she felt extremely embarrassed of how things played out that morning. Especially since she barely said anything back, other than a few sentences that she later cringed at.

Besides the point she practically just took it, the yelling, you diminishing all her self proclaimed stealth esteem. Again, she was embarrassed.

Ellie runs her hand through her hair sighing deeply. She doesn’t want to go, she knows how you feel about her now, and it’s clear that you have no actual feelings for her, yet then again Ellie’s still trying to convince herself it doesn’t matter. You two are friends. Possibly? She hardly even knows if that’s still a possibility.

What’s convenient for you is that Ellie’s also extremely unaware of how that whole incident in your house is taking a bit fucking tool on you.

After Ellie left that morning you didn’t know what to do, you were so..harsh? And you didn’t even know why.

You’ve never been a stereotypical mean person, sure you’ve had your moments with friends back home, but they were never serious, not serious enough to the point where you wouldn’t talk to them for a long period of time. Yet with Ellie it was so unwarranted, like you didn’t want her to see you behind any layers. Despite laying your head on her, whispering to her that you were indeed okay with what was playing out.

You knew you weren’t like that…you didn’t- you don’t feel things for girls.

But you came so hostile the next morning with Ellie, defensive even.

Once Ellie left you felt confided into your bedroom, you didn’t really have anyone else to talk to other than her.

You were offered the news that Joel invited you and your father down to a lake house for a few days, and your father was very quick to mention the fact you didn’t exactly have a choice for if you were coming or not.

Your father was worried that you might bring boys or something over, throw parties. The normal stuff parents worry about.

But truthfully all you could think about was Ellie..not having anyone or anything else prioritizing your mind.

He’s picked up fast that Ellie and you haven’t been enjoying your regular hang outs, late night drives in her truck, sleepovers in your bedroom, you going to Joel’s, that was all fading. Your dad even took record that when Joel would stop by she wouldn’t be with him. He was watching as all of those things that seemed so regular were slowly becoming absent.

It was like Ellie was not even in the picture, but being your father, and not being great with feelings he didn’t want to question it. He knew girls have their little feelings, and fights, he really just didn’t want to interfere with whatever was playing out. So he left it.

And once you had full knowledge you didn’t have a choice, and you 100% had to go to the lake house you were so fucking nervous. Nervous about seeing Ellie again, talking to her, everything.

You didn’t want to see Ellie and have it be weird, but you knew it would be. Especially after you exploded at her, the look on her face was something you probably weren’t going to forget. It was filled with hurt, confusion. And even want.

It looked like she wanted to be wanted by you.

But you didn’t provide that, you couldn’t provide that? You just yelled at her to leave your house after she took a right hook to the face, which wouldn’t happen if you weren’t in the picture.

All you knew for sure is that you fucked up.

The worst part is, you weren’t even sure if you could fix it. You’ve signal handily dug a knife into Ellie’s chest!

“Ellie grab the last bag kid!” Joel yells from inside the tiny home. Ellie just mumbles something too incoherent for him to understand. She didn’t fully understand why she did come, it felt subconscious in a way. Like missing out on something because of you just meant you won. Especially after what you put her through, she didn’t want that message to be relayed to you.

“When are they comin’?” Ellie says with a loud exasperated sigh, far too dramatic for her question.

“Are you gonna pout the whole trip” Joel says sighing dramatically, almost to mock her. “Shut up!” Ellie sorta chuckles and hits his shoulder lightly. A mini “Fuck off” in her mind.

She knew she was being a tiny bit dramatic, but it was justifiable after what you did?

Ellie’s arms grab onto the last bag before lunging the bag into the main room. Quickly sitting down on the couch, shoes kicking up on the stone coffee table. Her eyes watch intently as Joel lightly taps his foot against the wood, clearly thinking about something.

“Sleeping arrangements?” He questions before looking at Ellie, continuing his sentence. “We got three bedrooms- one for me, her father, and you know-“ He pauses momentarily, trying to think of the right words before turning his attention to look back at Ellie. “All i’m saying is that…i’m guessing your not to fond of sharin’ a bed? Seeing as what happened last time.” Joel hums out the last part, he wasn’t doing it to be malicious, when he said it, it was a genuine regard.

But then again he’s definitely trying to act like those words weren’t a big deal. They still had Ellie’s cheeks take on a pink tint.

She not stupid and gets what he meant when he referred to “last time” she lied in bed with you, sleepily rubbing her thumb against your exposed hip wasn’t something she wanted to repeat. The embarrassment was the worst part of it.

“What- no, I’ll just take the couch.” Ellie says before all her attention is turned to the door, the creek of it opening slowly drawing her attention, eyes glued to watch the two figures that step inside the doorway.

As soon as you make it inside the house your eyes are right on the green ones. Ellie’s eyes straight back on you, scared to look away.

But she does, because they’re quickly peeled from you first, embarrassed that you weren’t in the door for more than 10 seconds before she was looking. Ellie was trying not to stare at you, especially when she doesn’t even know if you two are considered friends anymore.

The shitty part for her is that she wanted to look at you, because like always, you’re always the one that draws her eyes. Attention unable to focus on anything else, she hated that. And she wanted to somehow convince herself you don’t even matter anymore..because it seemed like she didn’t matter to you? So why would she give you attention you didn’t deserve.

“Hey!” Joel smiles grabbing your father by the shoulder, other arm hitting his back. It unfortunately left more time to dawn on the fact you and Ellie haven’t talked since you walked through that door. “Drive down here alright?” Joel questions.

“Oh yeah?” Your dad smiles pulling back and dropping the both your bags around the front door. “How have you been hiding this from be Miller?” Your dad chuckles and walks forward getting a better view of the place.

Your eyes are STICKING to the ground, physically unable to peel them away. You didn’t want to look up and see Ellie looking at you. Or see she isn’t even paying any attention towards you, which in some weird way would be worse?

“Hiding, that’s crazy talk!” Joel laughs pulling your dad into the kitchen. “Come let me show you the kitchen.” Joel’s little laugh disappearing into the kitchen.

Your immediate guess is that they’re both getting a drink, nice way to start off the day. And you can’t help but wish you could be in there always taking a shot.

But no, because unfortunately for you it creates a shitty situation that left you and Ellie alone in the living room, the sound of both your dads talking in the separate room making some background noise.

You’re not sure if you should talk, or let the silence just sit. But your voice just pushed out, making it feel like you had almost no control. “Hey..” You sigh looking up at her eyes, which are still resting on your face. “How’s your nose?” You ask genuinely, quickly taking notice in the bandages that rest on it.

Ellie’s eyes flash with something you can’t exactly recognize, reason being because it changes in the matter of a few seconds, now representing anger. “Don’t fucking say ‘Hey’ to me man” Ellie scoffs and stands up. It was harsh, and it sure as hell came out as that. “Just fuck off.” Ellie says.

It was clear then, things 100% were not going back to how they were before, Ellie seems so angry at you, and you know it’s your fault..but unsurprisingly you don’t know how to fix it..

Ellie stands up trailing right into the kitchen, she cringed at her own fucking words, she’s never that mean. But they slipped out, fully accidental. Maybe it would give you the sign that she didn’t feel like talking. That’s what she’s convincing herself at least.

Because Ellie’s a fond believer that not talking about it will somehow resolve what’s going on with you two, she just doesn’t want to have a weird heart to heart conversation, she herself isn’t ready for.

Ellie hears the last bit of Joel’s sentence once she enters the kitchen. “Oh yeah, Ellie can take her down to it-“ Joel stops once he’s met with the face of his daughter. A frown portraying her lips as she hears her name.

Joel wasn’t trying to play cupid. He just knows that his daughter has lacked friends for way too long, and he knows high school was insanely rough for her. Ellie’s only 19 and she’s gone through the loss of so many friends, he was so happy to see that she was bonding with you. Seeing his daughters bright smile, that actually seemed real was a feeling he didn’t want to pass up.

And plus, Ellie has a habit of not seeing things through, when it gets too much she pulls back. So when your father talked people going down to the lake and having a bonfire, Joel confirmed and offered Ellie to take you.

Ellie just wasn’t aware about all that…yet!

You don’t walk in to long after her, once Ellie left you in a silent room you quickly got uncomfortable standing in a place which wasn’t even yours? So you trailed right after her figure, following so now everyone’s in the kitchen.

“Huh?” You ask also hearing the ‘Ellie can take her’ causing more anxiety.

“Joel was just tellin’ me that some folks go down by the lake for a bonfire” He smiles looking at you. Your dad sees as no smile, or even happy emotions appear so he adds on a little “People your age!” He smiles and looks at both you and Ellie. His little add on did nothing, because he watched how neither one of your faces contorted into something that seemed joyful.

“What the fuck?” Ellie says a bit too loud, Everyone’s attention being turned to face her. Regardless of those words being directed at Joel.

Ellie was mad because Joel knew what the fuck happened, she thought it was clear that she was done with you. And vice versa. Yet he’s here saying that it’ll be a “fun” idea for the both you to go down to the lake.

“Ellie watch your languag-“ Joel starts before you voice shines through. “No seriously it’s okay- we don’t gotta go..” You say looking at the auburn hair girl.

Ellie’s eyes are steered far away from yours, not wanting to see you talk to her. Knowing that she’ll probably fold eventually.

Joel shakes his head as soon as you say those words. “No-no, trust me, this kid will stay in all night. Plus you don’t want to be around two drunk old men?” He chuckles looking at the two of you. “Do ya?” He continues, smiling. Joel’s hand on your dad’s shoulder as they down drinks.

He was right, you didn’t want to be around two drunk middle aged men, but you didn’t want to be stuck with Ellie, not after everything that happened, she obviously fucking hates you now? You’ve dug this hole far too deep.

But you knew Joel, nor your dad would stop the pushing.

And if you did stay you’d have to deal with their annoying behaviour.

So you just look down and nod, turning your gaze to see Ellie, she looks just as defeated as you.

So soon enough there’s a sigh falling from both your lips.

You didn’t really have a choice..

You and Ellie headed out as soon as the sun was down, and since it was still summer it did take a bit.

So now it was late at night, and the sounds distant sound of birds chirping and crickets ringing made just a bit of noise for the silence to be to obvious.

On the bright side walk was short. You and Ellie walked beside each other but it was odd. Because she didn’t talk and neither did you, both unsure at how you’ll continue after this point. And to be completely honest, you’re not really looking for Ellie to swear at you once again. It was starting to get old real quick.

It felt so weird hearing her be cold towards you. Considering the only Ellie you knew was the sweet one. The one who opened your door for you, laid on your bedroom floor watching on your shoulder as you read. That Ellie. And even though you had no say, and it was honestly selfish after what you did, you did miss that version of her.

It just felt like a whole personally swap.

This Ellie is so distance, and now that you’re both forced in a close proximity it honestly doesn’t make it better. So you just decided to force words out of your throat.

“You mad at me?” You question turning to look at her, her hands are stuffed in her jean pockets, eyes glued to the rocky ground as her legs drag, a causing the rocks to be kicked forward, you can’t even read Ellie’s features because she has a baseball cap covering them.

All Ellie does is hum out a “No.” Trying to avoid more conflict. She didn’t even enjoy being a dick to you, she just assumed you’d stop pushing by now, she even thought being this mean might feel good? To get out some pent up resentment she’s built up since that morning.

“Okay…” You look down following her trail. Trying to find your voice once again. “Ellie I wasn’t trying to lead you on..?” You spit out.

You didn’t actually know if Ellie was like that..you never had confirmation. It’s just that night so much shit went down, the insults from Jack, and the other people that attended the party. There was an undoubtable pattern, and that’s not even mentioning the morning after.

You literally agreeing with Jacks words, earning the reaction it got from Ellie. It seemed almost clear that all the stuff you heard was probably true. But you didn’t want to find out if she was like that, that would change so much? Too much.

So you saying you weren’t trying to lead her on feels like a cover. A partial apology for cuddling with her all night and giving signs that you guys weren’t just platonic friends. Like you had some weird crush on her, it just made everything so messy.

Your words only gets Ellie to chuckle. “You think so highly of yourself- it’s fucking exhausting” Ellie scoffs out before walking down finally reaching the starting bonfire. The crowds of people growing. Either way you’re still right beside her, searching for her eyes that refuse to meet yours.

Mainly because what she said next, she knew that if you saw her eyes you’d see through it.

“I didn’t- I don’t fucking like you. I haven’t fucking liked you” Ellie spits out looking straight at you. Her words always choosing to fail her.

Her words leave you shocked. Pink growing on your cheeks, embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. You just felt fucking stupid.

Even though you couldn’t see Ellie’s eyes straight on you noticed a burn in despite them portraying a forest green, there was burning the more she thought about you, thought about what happened, it made her mad.

But in Ellie’s mind it was a constant back in forth of how stupid she must have been, to think that maybe you felt something. It’s not like she was mad at you.

She was mad at herself for believing that maybe you did feel something. Something for her.

Once you’ve made actually made it down the mini hill entirely you’re met with a bunch of people, they seemed around your age, just like your dad mentioned. They already seemed to have heavy amounts of liquor in their system.

Ellie seemed to discard away from you as soon as you both made it down the hill. So you’re alone, with a shit tom of people you don’t even know?

You didn’t have a plan to drink tonight, you honestly didn’t know what to do, Ellie seems to hate you. You don’t particularly have anyone else, and theres a looming coldness is travelling through your body. You just didn’t know what the fuck do anymore.

“Hey there!” A guy yells from the bonfire, his figure now moving closer towards you.

He brings his finger up to point at you, his brown eyes studying your features “You know what? I haven’t seen you at a bonfire before? You new?” He questions looking you up in down, fully taking in your appearance.

You are nodding your head like an idiot, cheeks turning a light pink out of embarrassment. “Uh..yeah!” You pause for a few seconds getting a good look around before you spot Ellie, she’s sitting a couple feet away from the bonfire, just watching the fire rather than paying attention to the drunk teens and early 20 year olds that surround the place. “I’m with her-“ You say moving your hand to point towards Ellie’s figure.

He nods slowly, looking at Ellie then back at you. “Shit Williams?” He sorta chuckles, his tone implying that he knew something, you just weren’t sure what. “She’s a bit strange, no?” He questions tilting his head, brown eyes meeting yours.

But before you could even answer he talks once more, finally confirming what you only knew as a speculation. “Everyone knows she’s like some lesbo? I mean it’s truly no secret. She waltz around dressed like a fucking man?” He laughs softly excepting a laugh from you to arise, but when it doesn’t he then looks at you, a slight tint of nervousness. “You two aren’t dating right?” He takes a cautious step back from you.

You felt yourself tense up at the guys words, because hearing it first hand, having someone purposefully tell you, almost warn you? It felt weird. You weren’t even sure what to reply with. Then remembering you blanked on the question at hand. Were you and Ellie a fucking thing?

“No!” You spit out, it sounded so defensive, like you would hate for someone to even question that. To loop you and Ellie together, picturing you as some sort of couple.

“No..gross” You say tilting your gaze down, embarrassed at how you could say that, especially to the girl you’ve just spent the whole first half of summer with. The girl who you still much rather be around as of now.

A smile appears on his face, taking the confirmation that you and Ellie were nothing that fell along the lines of a couple. He quickly extends his hand towards you. “I’m Liam” He smiles looking at you waiting for your hand to reach his, ready to hear your name in return.

And that’s what you did, you told Liam your name shaking his hand lightly. His gaze didn’t leave yours once. He was a little taller than you, he had blonde hair and brown eyes.

“Wanna get a drink?” He ask moving his body closer towards you. Hand snaking to your shoulder.

You nod, words unable to leave your mouth. You honestly don’t even know what’s wrong with you, you don’t want to be with Liam right now, but it’s not like you can just leave..

You don’t even know what you’re doing, you want to be with Ellie, but you don’t want to be perceived as her girlfriend or something.

You didn’t understand what to do.

————

You drank, and drank, and drank. Drowning whatever feelings you were having with the burn of alcohol dripping down your throat. It was shot after shot, and drink after drink.

You didn’t even know where Ellie was anymore.

All you had next to your side was Liam, his uncomfortable grip on your waist making sure neither of you can get away from each other.

His brown eyes never peeling from yours as he talked about his boring interest, you’d swear if he wasn’t so focused on himself he would noticed the fact you stopped caring a long time ago.

The worst part about it is that Liam was clearly flirting with you the whole night, and unfortunately so were you.

Despite not wanting to.

You played into his game, distracting yourself from the girl you’re undoubtedly missing right now. And the fact it got easier the more you drank made this whole situation a bit more risky. Because if drinking is the only way to get your mind off Ellie, you didn’t know what to do.

Your whole life felt like it was switching, turning over and you had no control? You didn’t even know if you liked girls..liked Ellie? It made no sense.

You were never the boy crazy type while compared to your friends back home, but you were never “girl crazy”. And truthfully besides Ellie you couldn’t recall a time where a friendship seemed like it was leaning into more. It made this whole process that much worse.

You didn’t want to like Ellie, you didn’t even think you liked Ellie! All you knew was that you would rather be with her, have her talk to you, hear her voice.

Just- shit that friends would do. Thats all you wanted to be with her.

Friends!

The more Liam leaned into you, the more he flirted and you flirted back you couldn’t take it. It felt like walls were closing in on you and you had zero control over them.

Liam’s hand reaches that little sliver between your shorts and t shirt, touching the exposed skin. “My cabins like a two minute walk. You wanna go.” He ask pulling back to look at you.

Finally you catch sights of eyes on you, green ones.

Her gaze is focused on Liam’s hand, not realizing your watching yet, you noticed how Ellie’s teeth is tugged in her bottom lip. Watching this weird moment with Liam as it plays out.

Even though you didn’t really notice it Ellie was paying attention to you almost the whole night.

Ellie tried to convince herself this whole thing with you would blow over. Like she’d be able to forget about you so fucking easily, but she was so quickly proven wrong. Because it never took long for her thoughts to dawn on the night in your bedroom.

Or the way you held her face with care when her nose was bleeding..she felt like she couldn’t forget about that. And she hated herself for that reason.

She watched Liam approach you early into that night, Ellie knew that Liam is one of Jacks close friends so she obviously wasn’t too fond of him. She saw the way he wrapped his arms around you, and the way you complied, the way he would lean into you the more drunk the both of you got, how you would laugh at something he said.

It made it worse that Ellie knew one thousand percent it was probably something stupid, but guys like Liam and Jack have some charm on girls she can’t seem to understand.

she hated it. Hated how Liam was gaining your attention, taking up every single minute your down by the bonfire. It’s selfish because Ellie knows, say she had the chance to talk to you tonight she’d most likely avoid it. And not to mention Ellie’s convinced you hate her.

And for that reason she felt like she didn’t exactly have a say.

All she knew is that you were extremely drunk, it was late and you guys definitely had to be home soon enough.

At least that was her excuse for what she was about to do.

Because in no time Ellie’s sticking her drink somewhere in the sand so it stands up, her feet are dragging themselves and she’s travelling right over to you and Liam.

You saw Ellie walking over and her eyes didn’t leave Liam’s face. Not even once. You prayers were answered, someone was interrupting, even if that person was Ellie so be it.

She was so focused on the brown eyed guy that had his arm looped right around you the whole night, pulling you closer and closer into him. Ellie just now she feels like whatever she’s doing is justified to get Liam away from you.

“We gotta leave.” Ellie faces you. Hoping that you’ll just follow along, try to ignore the fact she was being such a fucking dick to you the whole night.

Liam leans into you a bit, his grip on your waist tightening a little, he tilts his head and looks at Ellie, observing her appearance from the shoes all the way to her head. He just lets out a dry chuckle. There was nothing funny, he was just being a dick.

“How’s the nose Ellie?” Liam questions with a smug smirk, Liam was just like Jack, one of the popular boys who peaked in high school. And even though that’s the case, they still torment Ellie like they did in high school. Laughing at her like she’s some circus freak.

He then looks at you and smiles. “She’s such a fucking loser.” He says with no hesitation, the way it slipped off his tongue with ease made it so fucking clear this isn’t the first time he’s said these things to her, it made you feel sick.

You don’t react to what Liam said, you just look at over towards Ellie, you see as her eyes shift back and forth from you and Liam then down to the ground. A genuine frown appears on her lips.

You wanted to understand how you could go from spending every moment of summer together to whatever the fuck this was. Watching someone belittle her with ease as you sit on the sidelines.

Ellie’s always tried to trick herself into believing the stuff people said really didn’t bother her, trying to laugh it off, or try not to take it serious since they were just stupid comments from people who clearly weren’t mature, but there was something about having multiple people degrading you constantly for the simple fact of being yourself.

That constant feeling of rejection starts to build up over time, and even though she didn’t show it, it did hurt…A lot.

Ellie starts to realize maybe there’s no point, she’s over this whole situation, the conversation, the fact that you didn’t even think to defend her. You just watched, so Ellie steps back. She’s gotta go home. With or without you..

Your eyes are peeling towards Ellie and the fact she’s now backing away, you look at Liam then back at her. Liam still has some triumph smile on his face, expressing that he “won” or something.

“I’m gonna go..” You sigh out and tilt your head and give Liam a polite smile. “Thank you for tonight.” You add on, trying to be nice, regardless of the way he talked about Ellie, and the way he talked to her. Telling her awful shit even to her face?

You then look at Ellie, her eyebrows are still furrowed and she’s not even looking at you, it seems like she didn’t even pick up what you said because there was no distinct reaction. She’s just looking down lost in thought.

You tap her shoulder trying to snap her out of this weird state she’s in, it works, Ellies eyes turn to yours, they’re glazed over and her eyebrows are still furrowed. “Let’s go..?” You question looking at Ellie.

She doesn’t respond, Ellie just starts to walk up the tiny hill leading away from the bonfire and the people. Ellie’s not talking, not looking at you, she seems so out of it, like nothing that’s happening right now is even processing to her. She even started walking without waiting for you. This seems so much more than the usual spite she seemed to have for you. Because you can tell that’s she’s just expressing hurt. Not even anger.

“Ellie just wait up..!” You say trying to catch up to her, her legs still moving fast enough to the point where she’s speed walking. “I’m sorry about Liam- he’s such a- a prick.” You sigh out looking at her. It seems like the first actual full sentence you’ve got out without her coming back quickly with swear words. But she doesn’t say anything, she just keeps walking.

Ellie didn’t understand why someone like you would give attention to someone like Liam, but he’s also the one who had his arm around you the whole night, Ellie wonders if she’d would be able to grab your attention if she was a guy..

Is really that feeling, the one that is starting to feel so fucking overwhelming.

“Ellie wait up!” You grab her shoulder forcefully, excepting her turn around, or for her to even acknowledge your presence. “Can we just talk?” You sigh out, tired of whatever is happening between you two. “Please?” You add on.

Ellie just shakes her head silently not turning around to face you, leaving you faced with her back.

You move your legs to finally get a good view of her, each step is heavier then the last one, the moons dim light making this even more dramatic in your opinion.

Even though it was dark it was no secret Ellie’s eyes were rimmed red and her chest is pounding up and down.

You see how her eyes are doing everything in their power to avoid yours. Her teeth are tugged in her bottom lip and you look down noticing how her hands are shaking. You didn’t understand what was happening, you’ve never seen someone look like they’re portraying a full factory reset in person. So now you’re scared? You don’t even know if she’s okay.

“Hey- are you okay” You say in a scared-ish tone, still looking at Ellie. She doesn’t respond just shakes her head no fast, you could run back down to the bonfire and grab someone for help but Ellie takes notice you seemed to be panicked and quickly managed to spit out “I just need- need to calm down” She says looking at you.

You could probably calm her down, seeing as that’s all she’s needs to happen. You nod slowly and step forward, arms thinking before your brain could process and ending up around Ellie.

Ellie’s arms hesitate to wrap around your body, being nervous considering this is the first time you’ve both even touched each other after the whole “incident” happened.

She still leaned into the hug, her breath starting to calm down and heart starting to pace itself. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, she was just glad that since you were hugging her you couldn’t see the embarrassing state she was in.

“Breath..” You sigh holding onto Ellie, your grip entails that you might have needed this hug just as much as her.

Ellie nods slowly and keeps her head on your shoulder. To be fair not sure what pushed her to say her next sentence, because all it did was embarrass her further. “Are we even still friends?..” Ellie says her grip loosing around your body.

You’ve known Ellie for a month. And as ridiculous as it sounded, right now she seems like the most priceless thing that you refuse to lose out of pure stupidity?

“Of course..” You tighten your arms around her, making up for the looseness she caused.

“Are you mad at me?” Ellie ask, head still laying on your shoulder.

It was a crazy difference from that morning and now. Because as much as you both seemed okay with loosing each other neither of you are willing to let go now.

“No.” You say, confidence radiating from your tone and look. Because you meant it, you weren’t mad at Ellie for anything that went down that night. You were drunk, all the both of you did was cuddle, and it could’ve meant nothing. You were still convinced it meant nothing, because you weren’t ready to accept that it meant more. Even though deep down those feelings were starting to bubble.

“You mad at me.?” You question arms still around her.

“No.” Ellie sighs out, she wasn’t mad at you. But she’s always starting to realize you’re definitely not good for her, she’s never consistently cried over the same person. Let alone ever let feelings ever get this intense for one person.

And unfortunately she’s having a hard time separating the fact you’re one of her best friends, and the same girl she’s starting to fall for. She’s not even sure when those became the same thing. All she knows that if she can’t separate those things then this friendship won’t work.

But she also doesn’t know how to pull back from you.

“Okay..” You nod slowly.

“I don’t know why I freaked out..” You add.

The worse part is, you definitely did know why you freaked.

You just weren’t ready to admit that reason, you weren’t ready to admit that you let your insecurities outweigh you and target Ellie, that being in yelling form of course.

Not ready to admit that you might just have feelings for a girl.

It was making you nauseous.

“I shouldn’t have” You pause then talk. “Freaked out.” You clarify, you and Ellie still hugging. Which is becoming excessive because Ellie’s breathing is normal and tears are no longer flowing. “I just thought maybe you thought I-“ You start.

Ellie was quick to cut your words off, not wanting to hear you say “maybe you thought I liked you”. She knows that’ll hurt a lot more then the situation itself.

“I don’t.” Ellie sighs, and pulls back from the hug, realizing that she’s starting to take it as not a friendly thing, like her mind was tricking her that you liked her or something? Everything was turning so confusing. “And plus I was a dick too.” Ellie says, each word felt so fucking heavy. Like her chest was weighing down on her.

“Can we please just- forget about it..” You sigh looking at her, realizing that could have two meanings. “The fight” You clarify, you don’t even want to admit to Ellie you remember that night in your bedroom. Embarrassed even thinking back to in. Unsure of why you did the things you did.

“Yeah.” Ellie nods far too quickly, willing to drop everything just to feel like she has you back, but she knows it’ll probably be different.

“I don’t want us to not talk because of the fight.” You both knew that if you two were to stop talking it wouldn’t be because of a fight. It would probably be another “friendly” mistake that would give you the same outcome as this, just way worse.

“You’re like my best friend” You say looking at her, you said it with the intent of emphasizing on the friend part, hoping it will convince the both of you that’s all you are..

All you wanted to be with Ellie was just friends.

“You’re mine too.” Ellie says looking you up and down.

It’s clear now.

You’re just friends.

A/N -> THEE END!

Jk, I honestly planned for two parts on this fic (originally) but now it mayyy become a slow burn 🌚

idek yet because when I tell you i’m so busy this summer it’s actually kinda concerning, like Istg I have one free week and i’m still on vacation as I’m writing this.

IM SO SORRY it took so long btw, i feel like i need to be be cancelled after telling everyone it’s gonna take 2 weeks 😭 (it came out after a month, what the actualll hell)

but the next part i promise i’ll try my best to get it out really fast! Like two weeks will be the goal, I hope you liked this part because I tried to make it a bit longer as a little apology. tyty for reading and I hope you enjoyed.

(Like and reblogs are alwaysss appreciated 😘😘)

taglist : @diddiqueen @bready101 @mcqueeferson (couldn’t tag a few people 🫤)

[bluegalaxygirl]

Amnesia (KidKiller X Reader) P7

Plot: After an explosion reader wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the past few years, her parents want to take her home so she can recover and get back to a normal life while the Kid pirates want her back on the ship where she belongs.

Warning: Bad language, Medical stuff, family issues and Violence.

Reader is Female, Poly Relationship, established relationship, Kid X Reader X Killer, Reader is a member of the Kid pirates and is in charge of the money, Budgeting and negotiating the best price.

< Previous part ..... Next part >

You relax a little but keep your eyes on the two just in case, despite them keeping their distance and trying to make you feel safe you still don't trust them. "First I'd like to know exactly what you were told and who told you" Kid speaks up seeming angry about it, you somehow knew his anger isn't directed at you but it still makes you tense up a bit "Kid" Killer sighs shaking his head at his friend who jumps a little noticing he's made you go back to being tense. "It's ok… My parents told me when i woke up. They said i was kidnapped and held for ransom by Pirates when i was 19. They paid the money but I wasn't handed over and i was forced to work for them. I know i have bounty poster for being a part of the crew even if it was against my will. Urm… i think it was a few days ago, they said the pirates got into fight with the marines and there was an explosion, I was arrested but my parents manged to pull some strings so i was free to go and come here… I don't remember any of that though, i just woke up here… I don't even know where here is" You sigh looking over at the window, the world outside was nothing like your home but it wasn't scary, it actually felt better than being home. "Most of that is a lie" Kid scoffs getting angry that your parents would make up something like that but then again you did say they were awful people, Killer nods before shifting a little on the bed to fully face you "Your on Kyuka, an island on the grand line, we had to back track a bit to get some of our crew back and to come see you." Killer states watching as you nod before looking out the window.

You can't believe your on the grand line and you can't believe your parents came out here to get you, it makes you happy that they care enough to come for you. "We did take on a quite a few marine ships and there was an explosion while you were on one of their ships. It had explosives on it and you were steering it away from the Victoria Punk … Our ship, You got knocked into the water along with a few other crew member's and picked up by marines later on." The masked man continues watching as you nod along, that part matches what your parents and doctors told you, although these two seem to care a lot for you, the masked man even sounds worried when talking about the explosion, this brings one question to your head and a strange deep need to know the answer. "What's my relationship with you two?" You ask while looking down at your hand thats griped into a fist on your lap, you know there's more to all this, why would they come this far to get you if you were just a cash grab or a single member of their crew? Why do you feel so comfortable around them? Even though you know their pirates for some reason your convinced they won't hurt you or drag you away. Kid moves to sit on the bed getting you to look up at him, he goes to speak but Killer places his hand on the red head's leg "I don't know if you'll believe us" The masked man sighs as his head drops a bit seeming very unsure, Kid sighs and shakes his head putting his hand on top of the masked man's to comfort him "i want you to know, just don't freak out, please" The masked man continues, anticipation grows in you as your heart beets faster wanting to know now more than before.

Nodding at the two Kid looks back at you deciding he'll be the one to tell you since Killer seems too nervous about your reaction, "Us three are in a relationship together" He state hoping you will understand but you look between the two confused by his words, you kinda know what he means but you want him to be more clear. With a sigh the red haired man slowly moves his mental hand over to you and places it on your still clenched fist, a sense of relief washes over him when you don't pull away or flinch. You couldn't flinch away, you know he wouldn't hurt you on peruses but his hand was heavy making your fist press down onto your burned leg. Your hand shifts making him pull away in shock but you place your hand on the bed before looking up at him. "Elaborate" you state making Kid smile placing his metal hand back on yours as Killer let out a small huff of a laugh "You and your big words" Killer shakes his head, but he sounds happy which makes your heart flutter a little. "You've been a part of my crew for 7 years, Me and Killer have been together for 6 years. We didn't intend for anyone to join but" Kid gulps as his cheeks go red starting to get flustered over having to explain their relationship with you, noticing he's starting to struggle due to embarrassment Killer looks up at you and reaches over placing his hand on top of Kids mettle hand adding to the pile. Your heart pounds harder in your chest but its not out of fear, it makes you happy since you were right about the connection you feel with the two. You didn't think it would be this but you want nothing more than to hear them say how they feel.

Killer waits for your eyes to shift to him before speaking "We both fell in love with you and it took us a while to figure out what we wanted and to tell you… You felt the same, so us three have been together for 4 years now. It's a Poly relationship, we all love and care about each other" Killer finishes off for Kid the two staying quiet after to give you time to process, you may not remember being with them but it sounds so right, you know what a Poly relationship is but you never thought two people would love you and each other at the same time but your happy that it seems that way. Despite these feeling though, you still don't know them well enough to act on any of these feelings, when you know them more or remember more you can then rethink but for now its best to shove these feelings away. Just as you finish deciding what to do and how to answer your parents walk in along with the nurse from before whose apologizes over and over again to them "Get away from her" Your mother yells storming over to you as your farther glares at the two men "Get security" Your father order the nurse who jumps at his stern and angry tone. The two pirates don't move or take their hands off you not threatened by the two people who just walked in. "No, no, it's ok. I said they could stay" You pull your hand away from the two to quickly grab your mothers arm that was reaching for the empty glass vase on your side table. The nurse freezes in place not sure what to do and who to take orders off, your farther raises an eyebrow at you his anger being turned to you now as your mother looks at you in shock not only form your words but from realizing all the roses in the room are gone. Letting out a breath you try and calm yourself knowing what is going to come from the both of them, its best to keep calm in this situation.

Your Farther's abrasive voice cuts through the short silence, if you weren't so used to it then you would have jumped in shock "Y/N, these two are pirates, their the ones that-" Your farther glares at you but your blank eyes meets his stopping him from continuing "I know who they are. I know what you told me but i don't know what to believe. You're telling me one thing and their telling me another, I'd like to hear both sides before i make any kind of decision" You stay calm as you speak knowing getting angry with your farther or mother will make it less likely for them to hear you through their own anger. Your Farther takes a step towards you his eyes filled with rage that you would answer back, he looks like he's going to hit you but you know he won't, mainly because he didn't want to injure his hands. Kid growls low seeing that look on your farther's face and suddenly stand up his fists gripped ready to punch the man "I will kill you if you hurt her" In shock your quickly turn to look up at the red head whose eyes are glaring at your farther, no one has ever defended you against your parents before, everyone always takes their side. He didn't have to do anything, but he did, it sends a strange warm light feeling through your chest but in turn your head starts to hurt, it doesn't feel like a normal headache, the back of your eyes hurt as your head goes fuzzy, there's an image in your mind but it too blurry to make anything out. "Sweetie, they are dangerous, they took you from us, what ever they told you is a lie" Your mother whispers to you but you can't stop looking at Kid who's glaring back at your father, both refusing to back down from what ever mental battle is going on.

The more you look the clearer the image in your mind gets but your head hurts more and more, your ears start to slightly ring as tears well up in your eyes, not because your sad but because of the pressure building behind them. Killer manages to snap you out of your strange gaze by placing a gentle hand on your cheek, your head throbs but you look to meet his masked covered face "You ok?" Killer asks scooting closer his thumb rubbing under your eye wiping away a stray tear, even though he's wearing a mask you can tell he's concerned by his tone. Your mothers eyes widen at seeing you uncontinuously lean into his touch so quickly grabs your slung up arm "Get your hand off my daughter" She scowls while puling you away making you wince in pain grabbing onto your bandaged shoulder as pain shoots through your hole arm. "Don't pull, you'll hurt her.. Y/n you ok?" Killer growls at your mother before turning to you going back to that clam and kind voice, pulling away from your mother you rub your shoulder managing to calm the pain down a little, Killer reaches out to touch your cheek again hoping to comfort you but you push his hand away nit wanting touching you right now. "I'm fine" you finally state despite your head and shoulder throbbing, Your mother gives you a sad look before bending down to you "I'm sorry sweetie, i didn't mean to hurt you" She whispers seeming genuine in her apology so you look up at her and nod giving her a small smile letting her know it's ok. Your farther growl under his breath having enough of the situation "I want these two out of here now" Your farther orders to the nurse behind him but his eyes are glued to the red head who is still glaring back "We're not leaving unless Y/N wants us too" Kid replays as the nurse looks around the room unsure of what to do with all the different people saying different things.

Making his way around the bed towards the red-headed pirate your farther growls under his breath "My daughter has memory loss, she doesn't know what she wants" Your Farther yells only to be met head on by Kid who quickly storms over to the end of the bed getting in your farther face and towering over him, despite the clear intimidation your farther refuses to back down or break eye contact with the red head. "She may have memory loss, but she can still think for herself, she's a grown ass woman" Kid yells into your farther's face starting a yelling match between the two, your head throbs more making your vision go fuzzy, everyone voices fading in and out hardly able to make out the words being yelled. Seeing a glazed over look forming in your eyes Killer's quick to place his hand on your cheek but you slap it away much harder this time "SHUT UP" You yell making almost everyone in the room jump in shock turning their attention to you. "Please just go" You whisper while rubbing your head it starting to hurt less now that the noise has stopped, your mother gives you a happy smile, glad that you've finally agreed with them that the pirates should leave. Kid bites his tongue struggling not to continue yelling at your farther as Killer sighs standing up off the bed. "Well, hurry up and get out" Your farther steps aside gesturing towards the door for the two to leave, looking up at your farther you sigh knowing he didn't get what you were intending "You too" Your mother looks at you with wide eyes before bending down to your level "Sweetie-" she tried to say but you hold your hand up not wanting to hear it.

The nurse sighs knowing what she has to do for her patients sake, you are her patient and their for your comfort is more important "I'm sorry but visiting hours have long been over so please leave, you can come back tomorrow if she wants but if you kick up a fuss again I'll have no chose but to kick you out " She states stepping over to the bed giving you a slight nod, letting you know she's on your side. "That includes you too Mr and Miss Winslow" Your Mother goes to protest at this but your farther gabs her arm pulling her away from the bed "We will be coming back tomorrow and i hope by then you have your attitude fixed" You have to bite your tongue at your fathers comment, you wanted to berate him but it'll only make your head hurt again. "As for them, i don't want them near my daughter" Your mother pipes up looking over at Kid and Killer who haven't moving yet, although Kids fits are clenched at his side his flesh hand starting to turn white while his eyes burn into your farther, if looks could kill your father would be long dead. "Y/n? Is that what you want?" Killer calmly asks turning to you, You need to know more before you make a destitution on who to believe and the only way you'll get that is if you talk to all people involved. "I want you to come back, I-" You want to say more but your farther interrupts you making your head hurt with his sudden yell "Absolutely not" Kid storms over to your farther grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer almost lifting him off the group. "Will you let her speak for once, Gods no wonder she ran away, you over controlling narcissistic bastard" Kid yells only to be stopped by Killer who runs over and grabs the captains shoulder "That's enough, we should go, let Y/N rest. We can talk tomorrow and figure things out"

It surprises you how calm the masked man is and how easily he seems to control the situation, Kid lets go of your farther dropping him to the floor where he stumbles back while fixing his suit collar and tie. "I'm sorry Y/n, we'll let you rest" The masked man turns to you giving you a nod before grabbing Kids arm and tugging on it, The red head sighs before turning to you and rubbing the back of his head "Sorry for my out burst…. we'll see you tomorrow" You nod at his words although you did notice the slight redness in his cheeks, the nurse gives everyone a smile before gesturing towards the door getting everyone to leave. Once everyone's out the room the nurse closes the door and turns to you, making her way over she sits on the edge of the bed before pulling your shirt away from your shoulder to have a look at the bandage "I'm so sorry, i should have stepped in sooner" She whispers while checking for any sign that your wound has reopened but luckily it seemed fine, there's no blood and the bandage hasn't moved. Placing your hand on hers you look up to meet her eyes "It's ok… It's a strange situation and my parents are hard to deal with" You try and comfort her, you know there's also a big likely hood that your farther owns a percentage of this hospital so talking to him in any way other than with respect might get you fired. "Thank you for being on my side, its… rare" You admit pulling your hand away from hers letting her pull your shirt back over your shoulder.

The nurse takes your hand her small smile dropping as she thinks for a second, your about to ask her what's wrong when she starts talking. "I know it's not my place to say but your parents are right about them being dangerous. Eustass Captain Kid and Massacre Soldier Killer both have bounties over two hundred million, their part of the worst generation and ruthless… but on the other hand they do seem to care, they seemed genuinely worried and ready fight for you, it didn't seem like an act." She sighs not sure if she should be telling you all this but you squeeze her hand leaning forwards a bit while giving her a reassuring smile. "Thank you, I'll take any information is can get at this point, like i said before i don't know what to believe, the only thing i can go off is facts and some fuzzy images i can't make out" You state while rubbing your head trying to see that image again but it won't come back, the nurse nods and stands up letting go of your hand "I'll do what ever i can to help but for now I'll get you your meds and then you can rest" She turns leaving you alone in the room again, hopefully you can get more answers tomorrow and hopefully your parents will find your glasses so you can read something. Its so boring just sitting around or watching the dock where ships barely move. With a sigh you lean back against the bed while's placing a hand on your cheek, it still feels warm from Killer's touch it feels nice and you can still faintly smell Kid's cologne giving you a sense of comfort.

----- The Victoria Punk -----

The normally loud dinning room is silent something thats is very rare especially when almost the whole crew is gathered in there, Killer had just finished explaining why you weren't back with them which left the crew feeling deflated. None one spoke for a long while, most of them looking to their Captain hoping he has a plan or an idea but the red head just sat in his chair, his feet propped up on the table while his arms are crossed over his chest tightly. No one could tell what Kid was thinking or feeling, his eyes are angry but his face is blank as the captain stares off into space, with his mind clearly somewhere else Killer sighs crossing one leg over the other as he sits next to the red head. The masked man didn't know what to do, a part of him hopes that Kid will snap and just tell everyone we're grabbing you and leaving despite what they told you but he doesn't want to break any kind of trust or relationship that they have just formed. It's a miracle that you want them to come back, with a sigh Wire leans on the table looking over at his two friends, the room as been quiet for far too long and someone needs to take charge of the situation "So what do we do? Take her in the middle of the night?" The tall man asks knowing exactly what reaction he's going to get, the two men suddenly turn to look at him as they yell the same answer in anger "No" They both glare but soon release the small smirk at the corers of Wire's lips, its clear the tall man only asked that because it would snap them out of their own heads. "She stays until she agrees to come back and i ain't leaving her with those assholes so where staying… House, how long does it take for memories to come back?" Kid sates suddenly turning to the doctor who's messing with her fingers.

House gulps before slowly looking up at her captain knowing he isn't going to like the answer "I-i don't know, it could take a few days or months or years and in some cases… they might not come back at all" Her shoulders tense up as she says her last part, Kid growls while gritting his teeth but before he can start his out burst Killer steps in placing a hand on the captains shoulder giving it a hard squeeze "While were dealing with the situation i want everyone to be on high alert for marines, if her farther does have connection he might have called some in to get rid of us" The masked man states knowing that the crew is at risk, Kid sighs and nods in agreement "There should be several people on watch at all times and no one should leave the ship without permission, understand?" Kid calls out earning loud "yes Captain" from his crew which makes the red head smirk again, House raises her hand getting the two's attention before speaking "I was thinking that maybe i could join you two at some point. i want to look Y/n over, make sure she's healing well and maybe do some snooping around the hospital." She hopes they'll agree but by their thinking faces she feels like it's going to be less and less likely, luckily though they turn to each other and nod, silently agreeing on something "We'll bring it up to her and see if she agrees" Kid states hoping you'll say yes to having someone else look you over, the two don't want to overwhelm you with new people, and they also don't want another reason for your parents to bitch and moan causing you more pain and increasing the chance of a marine presence.

Through the conversation between the three a rhythmic tapping of fingers started to develop getting louder and louder, Heat has his teeth clenched as his fingers tap the table, lost in thought it was Wire who snaps hims out of it by bumping the stitched man's shoulder with his own "What's up?" The tall man whispers not wanting to interrupt Kid and Killer talking to the crew, Heat sighs and rubs his head while stopping the tapping he was uncontinuously doing "I know i've heard the last name before, Winslow, Winslow. uhhh, i-i just can't put my finger on it" The stitched man groans in frustration, its on the tip of his tongue but it just won't force itself any closer, Wire pats his friend on the back giving him some kind of reassurance, it would be nice to know who your parents are, but he doesn't want to put any more weight on Heat's shoulders. A few seconds later it finally hits the stitched man making his eyes widen in slight shock, cursing under his breath the room suddenly goes quiet all eyes turning to Heat since they know something has well and truly caught him off guard. "The Winslow family own a Drug distribution company that mainly castors to the marines and world government, a few years back they were also given a licence to make new drugs although that licence has since been revoked but i can't remember why. They also own several other big company's in weapons, fuel and have shares in others that have been handed down for generations… Their rich.. Like royalty rich"

The room goes completely silent at this no one knowing what to say about the situation, it normally wouldn't bother them if you came from a rich family but this is different, your family sells a lot of stuff to the marines and seems very buddy, buddy with them. It's true your farther can't fire a marine, but he can pull resources which will be disastrous for them so it's no wonder the commodore was so hell-bent on keeping quiet. "So what if her daddy's rich, the prick has no right" Kid growls flicking his hand in protests while leaning back in his chair but it seems some of the crew don't feel the same, they still want you back but being this rich and from a very well known family will bring its issues like it has now "I don't get it, she left and now years later they want her back, Why?" Mohawk asks a man how has been with the crew since the beginning and of course gets his name from the tall and thin orange Mohawk on his head "Something fishy is going on, i think it's a good idea to gave a few of us look into things" Narbe a man with two large scars down his face and over his eyes speaks up making the captain hum in thought, it would be good to get some info in order to have the upper hand, it also might help them in the future "Alright, you two and Heat your in charge of that but don't leave the island" The three smile giving their captain a nod happy to help out and also maybe rough up some people to get information.

[fragilecapric0rnn]

FRIENDS AU Part 2: The One Where Eddie Copes

[part one]

[cross-posted to ao3] || word count: 3.3k

Eddie doesn’t know how long it takes for his soul to return to his body. 

It left as soon as his eyes and brain fully registered that he was suddenly in the presence of his high school crush. Right here, in the flesh, sitting in the middle of his friends in The Jittery. He can’t help but consider the fact that he may have been the one to summon him with his pathetic cry for his ex-girlfriend just moments before the incident. 

The casual, ‘You remember Eddie? From high school?’ comment from Robin sucker-punched Eddie right in the chest. The eye contact and shy smile that followed nearly sent Eddie into some sort of stress-induced cardiac arrest. 

He hardly registers the barely coherent story that Steve is trying to tell. Eddie watches him bring a glass of water to his mouth with shaky hands and tries not to stare at his lips. 

“I’m confused.” Jonathan says as Eddie starts to regain consciousness.  

Memories of his repressed gay awakening circa-1985 come flooding back with a vengeance. Sitting in the bleachers during gym class, watching this same guy flick off his t-shirt, dripping in sweat, shit-talking his opponents, shoving them around a little too rough for a gym class game of basketball. 

He adjusts how he’s sitting in the chair, right now, in 1993. Beating away the thoughts from the Ghost of Horny Moments Past, pushing away the potential for any unexplainable chubs as he tries to sit and listen to the man himself ramble about God-knows-what, soaking wet like a pathetic little kitten in the coffee shop. 

He’s going to throw up. 

Or pass out. 

Possibly both.

Thankfully, everyone’s attention is on the runaway bride, too distracted to notice that he’s in crisis. 

“It makes perfect sense to me.” Argyle shrugs, handing Steve a giant ceramic cup. 

“Just run it by us one more time.” 

Steve takes a comically large sip from his mug, holds the coffee in his cheeks, making them puff out and Eddie is convinced that this is some sort of punishment for all of his mistakes. 

“You know, they always told me that cold feet are normal. That’s what they all say about  getting married, that you get cold feet. Well, I realized when I woke up this morning, after having a very vivid and intense dream about Harrison Ford, that maybe my feet were never really that warm to begin with, ya know?” 

Everyone is nodding, as if they do know. Nancy has her eyebrows knitted together, Robin looks a bit too amused, Jonathan looks confused, and Argyle is casually dipping his tea bag into his mug, like this is a normal thing unfolding in front of them.

“Look, I was in a frat in college. I am very comfortable with my sexuality or whatever and I didn’t let the dream sway any decision making at that moment.”

Eddie resists the urge to ask him what exactly this sexuality is. 

“So it wasn’t Harrison…” Nancy presses, her hand motioning as if to say, 'Please continue this batshit story.'

“It wasn’t him,” He takes a sip from his mug, the rest of the group inches closer. “It happened about 10 minutes later, when Lola was knocking on my door, standing there in tears.”

“Fuck,” Robin drags out the word, Jonathan lets out a low whistle.

“Turns out, she also had lukewarm feet throughout most of our relationship. She wanted to call it off. And that’s when I knew we had to. Because any normal fiance would’ve freaked the fuck out, right? Would’ve started begging or pleading or yelling or something! But I had nothing. Nothing but relief.” 

The collective air in the room deflates. 

“So, we devised a plan. We’d both get ready, business as usual. And I’d be the one to sneak out of the bathroom window in the groom’s suite. Before we realized it was on the second story of the hotel.” 

He shrugs, as Eddie studies his attire a little closer, seeing he does have twigs and a smattering of leaves on his now-discarded jacket.

“Steve, I know you’re vulnerable and whatever,” Robin says, pausing when Nancy smacks her arm. “But, why here? Why us?” Motioning between her and Nancy.

He chuckles, eyes now looking down into his cup. Eddie can't help but stare at this very odd man sitting in front of him.

“I don’t know. I guess it was mostly because I knew you lived in the city. But there’s another part of me that knew you’d understand. You were one of the only people I’ve ever met that tried understanding me for me. Not what you wanted me to be.” 

And that's, wow. Why on Earth would he say something like that? Now Eddie has to cope with the fact that not only is this dude still hot, he sounds sweet as hell. 

“C’mon, let’s get you up to the apartment.” 

He can’t cope. 

- 

“Mom, you’re gonna need to stop crying or hand the phone back to dad.” Steve pleads. He's been on the phone for about an hour at this point, everyone else scattered around Nancy's apartment, listening.

Eddie, most of the shock worn off by now, is sitting at Nancy’s kitchen table, eating a pie straight from the tin and unable to tear his eyes away from the train wreck that is Steve Harrington, still in his damp clothes, but stripped down to an undershirt and the tux pants and no shoes or socks.

Watches him keep tugging hard at his hair every time a muffled yell comes out of the phone, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. 

No wonder this guy ran away. 

Robin sits backwards on the chair next to Eddie’s as Steve stumbles out of the window onto the terrace, where the rain has somewhat let up.  

“Do you think he’s gay?” He asks as soon as Steve is fully outside. 

“Definitely not straight." Robin plucks the fork from Eddie's hand.

Jonathan shrugs, sighing as he finally sets the change of clothes down on the table and takes a seat.. He has been holding a change of clothes from his apartment in his hands for at least a half hour, waiting for Steve to get off the phone with his parents. 

"I mean, who talks about Harrison Ford in the same breaths as explaining why you ran away from your wedding?” He says, stealing the fork from Robin. 

“I never think about Harrison Ford unless I’m watching him on tv. And even then I barely think about him.” 

“Does that answer your question?” 

Before Eddie can say, not really, his thoughts are interrupted by a commotion coming from the other side of the room where the bedroom doors are closed.

Nancy comes out of the spare room, curly hair frizzier than it had been on the way up the stairs from the coffee shop, rubbing her temples and pulling on her face as she joins the group in the living room. 

“Are they still arguing?” She asks, craning her neck to get a better look at him out on the terrace. He’s still gesturing wildly, doing a lot more yelling. 

“I think so?” Robin turns her head like a confused dog, watching him gesture wildly with his free hand. 

“One minute he’s telling his dad that he doesn’t want to live like him and then it sounds like his mom is crying, I think he talked to his old nanny at one point?” 

“His parents sound like a mess.” Eddie says, earning three different versions of a 'no-duh' look from his friends.

“Have you seen the apple? What kinda tree do you think it fell from?” Jonathan says, passing the fork back to Eddie, which is then snatched away by Nancy. She takes the pie tin from them, putting it back in the fridge. 

They can hear the window opening and Steve falling back inside, silent cursing to himself. 

“No dad, you listen!” All their heads snap in the direction of Steve. Once again, soaking wet. His face is red, his already big hair standing up in every direction, and an insane look on his eyes.

Are his pupils dilated?

“Fine! I don’t care, I don’t care anymore! Cut me off! I don’t care! You know what,” Steve struggles to get his wallet out of his pocket, pauses and just throws the wallet across the room. Muffled yelling comes from the phone. “I'm snapping my credit cards right fucking now!" 

"I’ll stay here, with Nancy and Robin and you can take that inheritance and shove it up your ass!” Steve hangs up the phone and throws it onto the loveseat next to him. 

No one moves. No one speaks. The air is still, but only for a moment.

“I think this is where the sitcom audience would clap.” Eddie forgot Argyle has been laying down on the couch this entire time. Steve’s red face suddenly looks sickly pale. 

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

Jonathan and Nancy hop up from their spots, Robin hands him a brown paper bag, and they guide him to the couch. Eddie watches this all unfold, lingering in the background. Not one for comfort, especially being the king of mommy and daddy issues, without the complicated mess of being a trust fund baby, he has nothing helpful to add. 

“It’s gonna be okay, just try taking deep breaths.” 

Steve nods, the paper bag inflating and deflating slower, but still rather fast. 

“Would it help if I sang a song?” 

The bag inflates and deflates even slower, everyone just sort of stares at Argyle. 

“Don’t worry, about a thing, because every little thing, is gonna be alright.” Steve slowly brings the paper bag down, rests his hand on Argyle’s forearm.  

“I think I’m okay now, thank you.” He visibly winces at the lackluster Bob Marley

“Don’t mention it, mon.” 

For some godforsaken reason, Steve looks right at Eddie as they make the same face, an eyebrow hiked up to their hairlines, the physical embodiment of a scoff without actually scoffing. All while making eye contact with each other. 

Eddie looks away quickly, jumping out of the chair so fast that it scrapes against the floor, startling everyone in the room. 

“What am I gonna do?” He sounds panicked. 

“We’re gonna help you figure it out,” Jonathan says, sat on the coffee table across from him. 

“You can stay here with me, Jonathan and Robin live across the hall, it’ll be fun.” Nancy is patting his arm. 

“But what about money? I have none of that!” 

“There are these things called jobs,” Eddie says, Nancy snaps her head around and damn-near snarls at him. Steve’s brown paper bag is back to inflating and deflating. 

The phone rings, saving Eddie from immediate doom via-Nancy Wheeler. 

Nancy looks at the time and is now the one to get up from her seat next to Steve like something bit her on the ass.

“Shit! Shit shit shit!”

“What's with all the shit, Wheeler?” Eddie asks, Nancy flipping him off as the phone continues to ring in her hand.

“I forgot to call Frank and cancel.”

“Who’s Frank?” 

“My date,” she says, immediately sending Eddie a scrunched up face and mouthing sorry.  

“Wait wait wait, Frank? As in, Frank the Creepy Paper Salesman?” Robin hops over the backside of the couch, falling into Nancy. The phone stops ringing. Nancy takes a deep breath, closing her eyes and looking up at the ceiling.

Creepy was a generous assessment of the piece of work that is Frank. Asking Nancy on dates ever since she started working at The Times, stopping by the office ad nauseam, so much so, he has become a regular fixture in the lore surrounding Nancy's office.

“Yes, that Frank.” 

“Is the dating well running that dry Nance? So dry you finally said yes to Frank the creepy paper salesman?” 

“Listen, he caught me in a momentary lapse of judgment.”

“Were you conscious during this lapse?” 

"Fully, I just. It's been a while since I'd been on a date and my mom would not stop pestering me about it on the phone literal minutes, seconds even, before Frank showed up to talk to my boss. So, when he did his usual creep routine of asking me out, I said yes."

“Was he as surprised as we are?” Eddie asks, Nancy nods, wincing. 

"And are you regretting the yes?"

"Fully!" 

The phone is ringing again. 

“Hello,” she answers, sounding like she has a congested nose. “Hi Frank, yeah, I’m not feeling that well. Yeah, maybe we can postpone. I’ll call you, yeah.” 

“I’m sorry Nancy, I know this was kinda my fault.” Steve’s voice continues to be muffled by the bag. 

“I can’t believe you thought I’d be upset about you going out with Frank the Creep.” Eddie sits back down in the kitchen chair. Is he really that fragile? Can his friends really not share their downfalls with him like they used to? 

“I don’t know! You freaked when Robin went on a date with Tam-” 

“Aht! Aht!” Robin waves her hands in the air, almost elbowing Steve. “We are not talking about my dating life. I am striking this down immediately!” 

“Point still stands, then. You’re still very upset about Michelle.” And the sound of her name feels like a cartoon anvil dropping inside of his stomach, dropping and dropping. 

“We are not gonna talk about Michelle right now.” He deadpans. 

“Who’s Michelle?” Steve asks, paper bag back in front of his face, inflating and deflating as he speaks.  All of the air has been kicked out of Eddie’s lungs. 

“Eddie’s ex,” Argyle whispers loudly, with no effort made to keep Eddie from hearing him. 

“We are not talking about Michelle right now!” Eddie yells. Everyone goes quiet. 

“Right now we are going to focus on getting Steve to stop breathing into a paper fucking bag!” 

To which they all look over at Steve, who is staring at everyone with wide eyes and the bag no longer dramatically inflating and deflating, just held to his mouth as he stares around the room. 

“I’m actually starting to feel a little better.” He says, into the bag. Inflating and deflating. 

-

-

-

Across the hall, Eddie has his feet kicked up on Jonathan and Robin’s couch, hands linked and resting on his stomach. His head in Robin’s lap and his feet on Jonthan’s lap, staring up at the ceiling where he can see a spaghetti stain splattered across the asbestos pattern. 

Jeopardy is playing in the background but none of them are paying attention. Argyle is sat on the floor, head close to Eddie’s as they all pass around a joint. 

“So, you let her take the TV, the bedroom set, and the living room set. What do you even have left at your place?” 

“Pots and pans?” 

“Dude,” Argyle blows a ring of smoke in the air. “That is so not cool.” He passes Eddie the joint.

“I felt bad. It’s my fault we’re in this situation.” 

“There are no faults, and yet you’re still punishing yourself.” Jonathan says, eyes glued to the TV, a familiar spacey look on his face. 

Argyle checks his watch and gets up from the floor, patting around his pockets. 

“Looks like it’s time for me to head out, Aunt Miriam is making midnight spaghetti and I wanna get there before her boyfriend eats all the garlic bread.” 

“Midnight spaghetti?” and “Your great aunt has a boyfriend?” are asked by Eddie and Robin respectively at the same time. 

“See ya man,” Jonathan yells as the door shuts behind him. 

Robin knocks on Eddie’s head lightly before pushing him off of her, stretching and yawning as she stands. 

“I’m gonna go raid Nance’s for some more beers,” He swings he feet off of Jonathan’s lap and stretches. 

“I’ll get your pillow and blankey situated,” Robin says. Eddie half turns to send her a salute before shutting the door, opening the one across the hall almost in one fell swoop. 

He doesn’t expect to see Steve still up, sitting at the same kitchen chair he spent most of the afternoon and evening in. Most of the color returned to face, a glass of wine and an open bottle on the table. 

“Hey,” He says, curious and careful

“Hi.” Steve smiles warmly at him, gesturing the bottle at him, Eddie takes it as an invitation. 

“You alright?” He grabs a wine glass from Nancy’s hanging glass rack. 

“Yeah, couldn’t sleep.” 

“Why? A lot on your mind?” Eddie takes the seat across form him. 

“You’re funny,” Steve fills Eddie’s glass. “I remember you being kinda funny in high school.” To that, Eddie fakes a dagger to the heart, startling Steve a bit, who is looking at Eddie with the same type of amusement that everyone looked at him with a few hours ago. 

“If seventeen-year-old-me heard you say that you remembered me at all from high school, there’d be an Eddie shaped hole in that door.” Eddie takes a swig from his wine, thanking whoever is in charge of the universe that it's red wine, giving him an explanation for the blush already blooming on his face. Well, a better explanation than a cute guy laughing at his silly jokes. 

“Of course I remember you, how could I forget all those lunchtime sermons about how cool and different you were and how lame and boring the rest of us were.” Steve says, not hiding how much it he seems to enjoy that the little walk down memory lane has started to make Eddie visibly cringe.

“Don’t remind me of that,” Eddie groans into his glass. 

“You seem a lot softer now.” 

Eddie drags his eyes up from where they were studying the knick in the the wood on the table, meeting Steve’s gaze. 

“You caught me at a soft time in my life, Harrington.”

“Right,” Steve leans back in his chair, brings his own glass to his lips, pausing to take a sip. “Your ex.” 

“Yep, my ex.” 

“Did she just, totally break your heart?” He asks, throwing Eddie off guard a bit. He didn't expect Steve to be so forward with his nosiness. Kinda respects it. 

“No, it was more like. I broke my own heart.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

He looks at Steve. Really looks at him, and can almost see the kindness actually spilling out of those pretty brown eyes, how he came to Robin and Nancy specifically to help him out, knowing that they would. 

“It means, I realized that she’s not really my type after all. After eight years together, I finally realized that I am g-” he clears his throat. 

“That I’m gay. No matter how much I love her, no amount is going to change the fact that I wasted both of our time.” 

Eddie can’t bear to look up at Steve, but feels his eyes on him. 

The glug glug sound of wine pouring out of the bottle breaks the silence, Eddie finally looks up. 

“You need it more than I do,” Steve says, taking a swig from the bottle, tipping it over the table to show that it’s now empty. 

This makes Eddie laugh. A full belly laugh that seems to be contagious, as Steve’s now laughing, a snort escaping his nose and mouth, making the two laugh even harder. 

“You guys, seriously?” Nancy comes out of her room, robe on and rollers in her hair. “Some of us have to work in the morning!” 

“Sorry Nance, we’ll keep it down.” 

“Sorry.” 

She looks at them, her face softens with look of mild bewilderment. Stands there for a few seconds longer than she otherwise would’ve, before wordlessly going back into her bedroom. 

“That reminds me, I need to get one of those.” Steve says as her door clicks shut. 

“One of what?” 

“A job, or something.” 

“I can put a good word in for you at a few places.” He says, taking a big gulp from the very full wine glass. 

“Thanks, Eddie.” 

He can’t help but think maybe, just maybe, he will be able to cope with Steve being around. 

[morganski-19]

I Don't Know Which Way's Home

Chapter 13: Birthday

ao3 link, Part 1, Part 12

cw: minor dissociative episode, talks of depression

January 1986

Julie stands at the bus stop, hands shoved as far as they can into her jacket. It’s not exactly a winter coat, but with another layer underneath, it’s not bad. Her cheeks might be red, and her nose might be freezing, but it was just for a few minutes. Then the bus would come, and while it would only be slightly better than the temperature outside, she at least wouldn’t freeze.

That is, if she didn’t miss the bus.

She woke up ten minutes later than normal, which is a lot when the bus already likes to come five minutes early and not even stop when no one is waiting there. And when her normal morning routine consists of getting dressed in something she hoped worked together and drinking a cup of coffee as fast as she can without burning herself, missing the bus was more common than she’d like to admit.

The snow on the ground crunches against her weight as she pokes it with her foot. Trying something to bide the time before just giving up and going home. She’ll miss the day, but it could be worse. Having a day off of school for her birthday was a treat when she was a kid. Now it was just a sick reminder that she would spend a majority of the day alone. Fuck managers for scheduling her mom for a double and no one wanting to take one of her shifts.

It's fine, Julie convinces herself. It’s always fine. Her mom will be home at night, and they’ll have a piece of shitty cake that she bought from the convenience store, and it’ll be fine. So, what if it was her sixteenth birthday. Didn’t make it that different from her fifteenth, or her fourteenth. Not like it was a big year for her. There was no way she could afford to get a driver’s license. It’s just another average day that happened to be the day she was born.

A car speeds out of the parking spot down the street, music blaring, barely stopping at the stop sign she’s standing at. Julie definitely missed the bus.

The window rolls down and the music gets louder, as if it possibly could. Eddie Munson says something to her that she can’t hear. She makes a confused face that causes him to turn the music down.

“I was asking if you needed a ride?” he says, leaning his arm outside the window.

Julie debates taking it. Deciding whether a day spent with people she can barely tolerate is better than a day by herself in a barely heated trailer. But being around some people might be better than being around no one.

“As long as you promise not to drive like a maniac.”

Eddie laughs. “I can make no promises. But you’ll get there in one piece.”

Julie shrugs, walking around the car to get into the passenger seat. She can barely get the seatbelt clicked before Eddie’s speeding out of the trailer park and on the way to school. He turns up the music again, but not as blaring as it was last time. Somewhat considerate.

“You ok?” Eddie tries to start conversation. “You look pissed.”

Julie scoffs. “Well, I did miss the bus on the coldest fucking day possible. So, I am pissed.”

“Yeah sure but looks like there’s something else.” He speeds up to pass under the light just before it turns red. “You don’t have to talk to me, but you could. If you wanted to.”

“I’m not going to join your DnD club, if that’s what you’re after. Not going to magically work this time.”

Eddie dramatically hits his chest. “I’ll wear you down some day. But that wasn’t what I was asking.”

This isn’t the first time Eddie’s driven her to school. Or the first time he’s offered to listen when she’s had a bad day. Or just needed to rant. They weren’t friends. They were barely acquaintances. But he had this thing where he went around and adopted freshmen into his little crew. She was one of those lucky targets. But it didn’t work. Fully.

He was still there, like a presence she couldn’t quite get rid of. It was nice some days. To have someone who was generally a good person, despite their image, to talk to when she needed it. Sometimes she just needed a neutral ear to give her some advice. Especially since she really didn’t have anyone to talk to about this anymore.

“It’s my birthday today,” Julie said quietly, hoping the music would drown her out. “And my mom’s not going to be around for most of it.”

Eddie sucks in a breath. “Well, that sucks. How old are you today?”

“Sixteen.”

“Damn, a big one. Double sucks.”

Julie picks at her cold fingers. “Yeah. And I can’t even be mad at her. She tried to get someone to cover for her at work, but no one would step up. And we need the money, so she can’t risk calling out or getting fired. I just wished she wasn’t scheduled today of all days.”

“I get it. Wayne works doubles all the time, and some would fall on the big days. It sucks cause you feel like you don’t get a say in how you feel about it. But you do. No one gets to tell you how to feel other than yourself. You can be mad, even at your mom. Just a little bit. But if she tried, that’s a lot better than other people would do.”

He pulls into the school and finds an empty parking spot. All the way in the back of the lot since they’re so late.

“And, for what it’s worth, happy birthday.”

“Thanks. For that and for the ride.”

Eddie shrugs. “No problem.”

. . .

Julie sits at the counter, eating her breakfast like normal. Steve trying, and probably failing, to sneak glances to her to gage her mood. To see if anything’s shifted. If this week is going to be worse than the last one.

Steve knows that it’s her birthday on Saturday. He remembered the date from when he saw her birth certificate and marked it on his calendar a little while later. Julie can either be ok with it like Christmas, or it can be bad like her mom’s birthday. But Steve doesn’t know, and he doesn’t want to bring it up. He should, and he will. He just doesn’t want to ruin what could be a bad day with the reminder.

Julie rolls her eyes, looking up from her bowl of cereal. “What, Steve?”

He forgets how obvious he is sometimes. “Nothing,” he tries to play off.”

“You’re doing that thing where you look like you want to say something but are worried if it will affect me. Just say it.”

Steve looks down at his plate. “I was just, wondering, I guess. I remembered your birthday is on Saturday and wanted to know if you wanted to do anything.” He should really stop talking, but he doesn’t. “We don’t have to do anything at all, really. I barely celebrate my own birthday but thought it was worst mentioning because I don’t know what you do. Or did, before, well you know.” He’s cut off when Julie starts laughing. “What?”

“It’s nothing. You just sound so much like Robin right now. You guys really do share a brain.”

“We do not,” Steve starts to say defensively before giving in. “Ok fine, we might just a little. But seriously, your birthday.”

Julie pushes her food around with her spoon. “We never really did anything big. When I was little, it was pancake mountains with every topping. But after a while, she stopped being able to get off work. So it was store bought cake after school, or after nine.”

“Would you want to do that?”

She takes a second to think before answering. Pressing her lips together in thought. “Maybe not exactly. I can’t predict how I’m going to feel when I wake up. I might be ok, but I might not.”

Steve leans forward so he can see her better. “How are you feeling about it now?”

“Sad,” she whispers. “Like I know something’s missing. I know who’s missing. But not, like, sobbing sad. Just that little ache that never quite goes away. But amplified just a little bit.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” He’s known it for far longer than he should have. “How about this, we wait until the morning of to see how you’re feeling. I have the day off from work, so there’s no rush. I’ll be here. If you want to do something special for breakfast, great, we do that. If you don’t, we don’t. The same goes for the cake, or dinner. We’ll play it by ear, ok?”

Julie nods. “That sounds ok.

“And, if you want to invite over a few people, you can. For dinner or for cake or some shit. Just to have them here. Whatever you want.”

“Ok.” Julie finishes her breakfast, bringing her bowl and mug to the sink before heading to grab her things. Steve does a quick wash of the dishes, piling them on the drying rack before grabbing his keys and vest from the hall. When she comes down, he drops her off at school before going to pick Robin up for work.

When they get to work, Steve opens shop, leaving Robin at the front desk and going to the manager’s office. He had a meeting, which was boring as hell, had an interview to fill Robin’s empty shifts now that she started school. Manager things. That he hates just a little bit, but likes the pay raise.

Robin comes in during her break to check her schedule for the next week. Her eyes widen as she double checks the date on Saturday, before turning to him. “January 28 is Julie’s birthday, right?”

“Yep,” Steve says, still reading resumes.

“Oh my god, we have to do something right?” Robin thinks out loud. “Or maybe not, I don’t know if she likes her birthday. Or if it’s different this year cause, you know. I mean, she’s related to you so she might hate her birthday. Have you talked to her about it? Should you talk to her about it?”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yes, I’ve talked to her. We have a plan. Now if you please, I actually have work to do.”

Robin ignores him trying to push her out of the room. “What’s the plan? I want in.”

“We’re waiting to see how she feels that morning. And if she’s up to it, something small. We might not even have people over at all, so calm down.”

“Ugh, fine. But you better invite me over if there’s cake.” She leaves the office, leaving Steve alone.

. . .

Julie knows that she should be feeling something. But she’s not. There’s been no tears, no wishing, no anger. Just nothing. She kinda just feels empty. Hollow. With a little chest that’s full of sadness, and she knows it’s there. It’s just not open. None of the other chests are either. Leaving the room empty. Her empty.

It’s not like she wants to feel. Feeling nothing is better than her heart getting ripped out of her chest every time the sun rises and reality sets in. But feeling nothing comes with one thing, guilt. That she should be sad, she should be crying. Screaming at the universe for what it did and leaving her like this. Praying to be able to go back in time and call her mom before she went to sleep that night. See if she could beg her to come home early. Or if staying up for another hour would make her mom magically materialize at the front door, perfectly safe.

But it’s all a tune that’s been played before. The bargaining. Wondering if she had done something else, the crash would have never happened. A trail of what if’s repeat in her mind. Telling her that if she did something different, things would change. Her mom would still be here. It never changed anything though.

She did things to block out the sad. Telling herself that if she wrote a little that day, she couldn’t be sad. Because she couldn’t write at all a few months ago. So, she’s better now. She has to be. She was getting dressed every day, taking showers regularly, able to finish a meal. That’s improvement. She should feel improved.

She doesn’t, though. Every day, she wakes up with something missing. Something ignored. There’s a pull in her chest that tries to make it up to her eyes, tries to get the tears flowing again. But can’t. The pools are dried, they have been for weeks. She hasn’t cried in weeks.

It should be an improvement. It doesn’t feel like it. Nothing is felt, nothing is expressed. Her smiles are faker, and her laughs feel foreign. She’s good at faking, so no one sees it. But when they look away, the smile falls back into a thin line. Cheeks hurting from the unnatural pull of her lips. Her eyes stare off into nothingness, unfocused. And she just sits. Feeling nothing important, and only guilt.

“Hey,” El says, sitting across from her. “Julie?”

Julie is brought back to the cafeteria. El’s face focusing again, looking concerned. “Huh?”

“Are you ok? You looked like you were somewhere else.”

She was. Everywhere and nothing all the same. Her mind filled with the conversations around them, not the one she should be a part of. Filling her ears and making it hard to hear. “Spaced out, sorry. What were you saying?”

Max groans. “I was complaining about the people that threw popcorn at me and Lucas when we went to the movies this weekend. It’s bad enough that I can’t see the movie to begin with and Lucas has to whisper what’s happening to me. I don’t need things thrown at me.”

Julie winces. “Shit, that sucks.”

“I know. And like, watching movies at home is so much easier because we can pause it and he can explain it to me. But it’s not the same. I just want to feel normal again.”

El grabs Max’s hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. The conversation shifts, but Julie’s mind wanders again. Back to nothing and everything. Where nothing registers and everything’s ignored. The bites of food taste like nothing, but it’s better than ash. She wants to eat it, but doesn’t all at the same time. She barely hears when the bell rings to go to her next class.

In class, she’s not paying attention. Writing down words that don’t register, letting the words flow out of her brain as fast as they enter. That’s only when the words make it there in the first place. She’ll pay for it later, but doesn’t seem to care. Her grades could slip again. Even if she just made up for it. They can slip. There are more important things to think about. Feel about. Or not feel about.

A police siren drives by the school, and she’s brought back to that day. When the world came crumbling down. It’s like the scene plays out in her mind, but she’s there watching it again. Seeing herself start to fall apart, not believing that it’s true. The moment her mind left her body for a second, and she became frozen.

The image leaves and the room is blurry. Her veins feel full of led, dragging her closer to the floor. Someone calls her name, and her head turns, but she doesn’t tell it to. Her teacher looks at her concerned, from what she can tell.

“Go to the office,” the teacher says. “Someone is coming to pick you up.”

Julie doesn’t know who, there’s no one that can. Her mom isn’t around anymore. But she still picks up her bag, smacking her arm against the desk. Students’ heads turn towards her as she leaves, some whispering to themselves. She doesn’t care. She’s too focused on how she’s walking when her legs feel this numb and heavy.

And then she’s sitting again. Picking at her thumbs out of instinct. Trying to see if she can feel it. She can’t. There’s a slight panic rising in her chest, but it’s fleeting. Something’s wrong, but she’s too spaced out to say what. So, she’s left waiting.

. . .

Steve picks up the phone when it rings.  “Harrington residence.”

“Steve, it is me, El.”

“Hey, El. Aren’t you in school?”

“Yes, I am calling you from a payphone. I am worried about Julie.”

Steve stands up a bit straighter, gripping the phone a little tighter. “What about?” he asks, telling himself that it’s nothing bad so he won’t freak out.

“She was not herself at lunch. It took me four times to get her to hear me say her name. She was not eating, just staring.”

It’s a worse day than he thought it was. Maybe he should go pick her up. “It’ll be ok, just one of her bad days. Thanks for letting me know.”

“No, this was worse. I have seen the bad days. It was like she was not here, Steve. Somewhere stuck in her mind, but not here.”

“Ok. It’ll still be ok. I’m going to come pick her up, make sure she’s ok. Ok? Thanks for letting me know.”

“Ok. Thank you, Steve.” El hangs up the phone.

Steve does the same, heading to the living room to shut off the tv. He finds his shoes, then his keys. And then thinks it’s probably a good idea to call the school to let them know he’s coming so they can call her down. Makes up some excuse about a doctor’s appointment. It’s the same secretary that he knows won’t care to double check.

Julie’s waiting for him in the office when he gets there. Staring at her fingers and picking at the skin. She’s going to have to bandage them later. He signs her out, calling out to her twice before she realizes that they can leave. El was right, she’s stuck in her head.

In the car, she stares out the window. Steve doesn’t try to speak, it’s better to do it when they’re home. He knows what’s happening. It’s happened to him too. Much worse than this, but he knows.

It takes a second for her to register that the car stopped. She gets out of the car, slinging the bag over her shoulder like it’s a foreign motion to her. Looking around at the environment with confusion in her face but nothing in her eyes. He walks around the car, gently ushering her to the front door. Not in a pushy way but giving her the direction her brain isn’t.

She walks to the front door and waits for him to open it, then walks inside. He brings her to the living room, and she sits on the ground. Back against the couch. Steve leaves the living room and comes back with an ice pack, pressing it into her hands. She grabs it, confused.

“Can you tell me what you feel?” he asks gently, sitting across from her.

“Cold,” she responds softly.

“That’s good. How about where we are right now, can you tell me that?”

She looks up from the ground, her eyes scanning the room. Slowly blinking more than before. “The living room. Home.”

“Good, that’s good. I want you to take a deep breath ok. I’m going to count to four. Once for breathing in, again for holding it, then for exhaling it. Nod if you understand.”

Slowly, Julie nods. Steve counts, watching her breathe in, holding the breath until he tells her to let it out. The breathes become stronger, and her finger starts to tap along with his counts. Her eyes meet his and they look less droopy. More awake.

“Where are we, Julie?” he asks again.

“Home, the living room. You picked me up from school.” Her voice is more certain, less strained.

Steve smiles gently. “What’s in your hand?”

“A warm ice pack.”

“What’s the last thing you remember before I picked you up?”

Julie swallows, leaning back. “I remember lunch. El and Max were talking, they noticed I wasn’t. I said I was spaced out.”

“Was that the same as when I came to pick you up?”

She shakes her head. “No, that was different. Like normal spaced out when you get overwhelmed or something. The other one was different. I-,” she pauses, trying to figure out how to say it. “It felt like I was inside my body but not. Like I was doing things but not sure why. And I couldn’t feel anything.”

Steve remembers the first fourth of July after Starcourt. How the fireworks sounded like bombs went off in his ears. Like they were still in his hands, being thrown at the mind flayer. How just before that, he was in a Russian bunker bonded, drugged, and beaten. He couldn’t move for hours.

Robin said that it was the most scared she’s been since they dragged him into the room unconscious and dropped him right next to her. She couldn’t get him to hear her. And that was after her own panic subsided. They thought spending the day together would have made it better. But they still panicked.

She ended up doing the same thing he did now, having read some article about PTSD victims in one of her anxiety induced library runs. They needed to prepare if no one was there to help them. They needed to be able to help themselves.

He doesn’t remember much about those hours when he was frozen. Just that he didn’t feel right. Or there at all. Like his mind and body were in two separate places. Bones felt rigid and everything felt numb. It felt wrong, and he didn’t know why.

“It’s happened to me before. It’s called dissociation. Sometimes it can be minor, kinda like the type you had today, or it can be major. It can last for hours, sometimes days, maybe even a week. Some people can still move, some can’t. It can happen to people who have gone through traumatic experiences, and those who are going through grief.”

Julie’s eyes start to water, and she tries to blink them away. She lets out a shaky breath, visibly trying not to cry.

“Hey, hey,” he soothes. “It’s ok. You can cry if you need to.”

“I heard a siren, I think that’s what caused this. I was fine, and then I heard it, and it brought me back to that morning. And it just felt so fresh all over again, but it was like I was watching myself in my memory react instead of me actually reacting. And then it was gone, and everything felt so heavy.” She stops, mouth opening like she wants to say something else but all that comes out is a choked sob.

Steve places his hands on her shoulders. “Hey, it’s ok. You’re back now. It’s going to be ok. Just let it out.”

Julie crumples forward into Steve. He wraps her in a hug as the sobs break through. Holds her close. Sits there patiently as she calms down slowly. Until her breaths become even again and her tears start to calm.

“How’d you even know to come and get me?” She asks softly.

Steve hums. “El called me. It’s not the first time we’ve delt with something like this, so she knew the signs.”

“I’m glad she did.”

“Me too.”

. . .

Julie doesn’t go to school the next day. Still rattled with what happened yesterday. Why it happened. And how. She would never have guessed that she was affected like that. Until it happened.

She takes it slow. Sleeps in until noon and takes a long shower. Focusing how the water feels and the senses around her. Keeping herself aware. It makes her feel safer, especially since Steve won’t be home for a few hours.

She eats a small breakfast, or lunch. Finds the blanket she likes and brings it to the living room, sliding in her favorite movie. And just sits. Lets herself be for a moment without pretending. Her body sinking into the couch.

Memories of sick days of her childhood come into her mind. How her mom would take off work and they’d sit on the couch watching movies and tv all day. Wrapped up in a blanket with tea or hot chocolate in their hands. Laugh at the funny parts and cry at the sad. The world felt different on those days. All the struggles disappeared, and it was just them. They were happy.

Julie clicks off the movie when the credits role, feeling empty again. Staring off into space as she takes a deep breath. Tears want to fall but they come from nowhere. The pools still dried, only filled slightly yesterday out of fear. The ever-present ache in her chest amplifies, tugging at her brain trying to make her feel. Nothing comes. Julie is numb.

Pulling the blanket tighter around herself, she falls deeper into the couch. Wanting to occupy herself with something, she clicks the tv back on and finds a random channel. Letting the reruns of old sitcoms play in an endless loop. Letting the noise fill her mind when her own thoughts won’t.

When Steve comes home, he finds her there. “Hey, you ok?”

“Yeah,” she answers, still wrapped in the blanket. “I guess.”

“You guess or you know?” he sits down next to her.

She sits up. “I don’t know.”

He nods. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Julie doesn’t know when Steve became this person that she could just talk to. There was a time where they were strangers, and then a time when they were like this. No in between, just a direct shift. It’s strange how fast this became her new normal, how fast that they became close. How it felt kind of normal, like they’ve known each other longer than just a few months.

How it’s weird that they have only known each other for a few months. It’s gotten to a point where Julie can’t imagine a life without Steve being a part of it. At least on some level. While she wished that they had met in different circumstances, she liked that they met at all. That he and her were a family.

“It’s just,” Julie starts. “I was expecting to feel something, about this week you know. But I haven’t. I haven’t really cried since Christmas when we went to visit mom. I guess, I feel kinda guilty that I’m not more affected by this.”

Steve takes a second to think. “There are more ways to feel sad other than crying. Just yesterday you were affected by it, even if you didn’t cry because of grief. Just because you’re not crying doesn’t mean you still aren’t grieving, or that you’re not sad.”

“But my birthday’s on Saturday,” Julie reasons. “And she’s not here and I should feel sad about it. I don’t feel sad about anything.”

“Robin is so much better at this than I am,” Steve mutters to himself. “I think I know what you’re saying. Do you, like.” He pauses, trying to figure out how to phrase what he’s thinking. “Do you feel like emotions are just kind of there, but they don’t stay and even when they’re there, they don’t feel real? Like you’re empty?”

Julie’s shocked with how that explained exactly how she’s feeling. “Yeah, it’s like I’m numb.”

Steve softens his expression. “I need you to know that this is not something to feel guilty about. How you’re feeling, it doesn’t mean that you’re not sad. But this might be something that I’m not the best to help you with.” He takes a deep breath. “Have you thought about maybe seeing a grief counselor?”

Life was too crazy after her mother’s death that it never really crossed her mind. With all the moves, with the adjusting. It was all too much at once.

“No,” she answers honestly. It might have been mentioned in the first week after the accident. But she wasn’t paying attention in any of those meetings. Her mind was always somewhere else.

“I’m not saying that you have to go to one. But I think it might help, especially with what you’re feeling now. So, just think about it, ok.”

“Ok.”

Steve nods, standing and going to the kitchen to make something for dinner. Julie, feeling weirdly motivated after this conversation, pulls out the beat-up copy of The Hobbit that Dustin lent her. He insisted that she take it, saying that the fact that she’s never read it was a travesty. And if they were to ever be friends, it was like a requirement or something. She hated that she kind of liked it.

That’s another thing that just happened in the past few months. Julie had friends. Like a whole group. She’s never had that before. Sure, there were people that she vaguely knew that she would sit with at lunch in middle school. And there was Mary. But once she moved, Julie never really filled that spot again.

Then high school came with all of the cliques, and she never found her own. So, it was a lunch table with people she didn’t know and her journal, or a book, just trying to get through the day. She didn’t know how much she missed having a friend until they were suddenly thrown at her. And this group didn’t know how to let go even if they’re not wanted.

Julie thinks of her mom. How she would have smiled learning that Max from down the street is now one of her best friends. How there was another girl named Jane, but went by El, that came with. Be happy seeing Julie be happy.

She would have liked seeing Steve and Julie grow their relationship. Happy that Steve took Julie in and was anything but his father. Happy that Julie is in a safe, loving home, even if she wasn’t a part of it. She would want Julie to keep living the life she always dreamed. Graduate high school and go to college. Maybe write a book one day. Maybe change careers entirely. Her mom wanted to see Julie conquer the world.

And she would want Julie to celebrate her birthday. Even if it felt wrong to do so without her. Even if Julie would miss her more than the day before. She didn’t want to see her little girl hurt more than she needs to.

“Life keeps moving,” her mom said once. “Can’t stop it, no matter how hard you try. There’re two things you can do. Mope around and let it drown you or look it straight in the face and tell it that you’re ready for whatever it can throw at you. And trust me, it can throw a hell of a lot.”

It’s like Julie can still here her mom’s voice in her head. Still feel the feel of her mom’s hands against her cheek as they cup her face.

“You, Jules. You could take on the world if you wanted to. And you taught me that I can too.”

Julie lived by those words for a long time. Up until the accident. It’s easier to drown than to keep fighting, especially when the world looks so bleak. But sometimes there’s glowing specks of light at the top that are too tempting to ignore. People that remind Julie to fight again.

Steve calls out that there’s food if Julie wants it. She yells back that she’ll be there in a minute. Closes the book that she wasn’t really reading, too lost in her own thoughts. Looking at the creases in the cover, the warped corners and the frayed edges. It wasn’t perfect, but it was loved.

The two options that her mom posed all those years ago made sense at the time. It was easy to pick one or the other when life was simple. But life isn’t so simple anymore. There are days when Julie’s drowning, and lets it happen. Then there are days when she’s able to work with what life’s given her.

Thinking about it, the second option is more complicated than her younger mind initially thought. Life is unpredictable and cruel, but it keeps moving. It’s better to move along with it than staying stuck in place. Even if moving one foot forward seems impossible, it can still happen. As long as she tries.

“Would it be too late to say I wanted to do something for my birthday?” Julie prompts halfway through dinner.

Steve looks at her shocked, but there’s a soft smile on his face. “No, not at all.”

. . .

“And you’re sure you wanted to invite everyone, not just Max and El,” Steve asks again, walkie in hand.

Julie did think about keeping it small. Thought about just having over a few people. But she’s never really had a birthday party before. Not with a lot of people. She’s been to them. Been to the parties with the giant cakes and games that no one really likes. Just never had one of her own.

And it’s not like she doesn’t get along with the guys. They’ve been secretly growing on her more than she’d like to admit. As noisy and frustrating as they are. But they were nice and loyal and cared. About her, about each other. It felt nice to be in a group like that.

So, screw it, she wanted to invite all of them. Because she genuinely liked them.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Steve shrugs. “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you about this.” He picks up the walkie, holding down the receiver button. “Code Periwinkle, my house at six.”

Julie snorts. “Periwinkle, really?” Steve just shrugs.

There only a slight break before Robin’s voice comes over the walkie. “Fuck yes, cake.”

“You with Harrington DNA need to get better about telling people when your birthdays are,” Dustin angrily says through the walkie. “Like I’m sorry we care about you.”

“Jesus, calm down,” Lucas says.

“Just be glad he’s only slightly pissed,” Mike says.

“Yeah, remember when he found out that Steve lied about when his birthday was,” Will says.

“I am still fucking pissed about that.”

Julie looks at Steve. “You lied about your birthday?”

“I didn’t really like my birthday when I lied about it.”

“I’m offended that I just heard about this now,” Max says over the walkie, “but I will still be there.”

Julie takes the walkie from Steve’s hand. “Also, don’t bring any presents or anything. This isn’t anything special, just my birthday.”

That starts a whole thing that just ends up with a bunch of static and broken sentences as they all try and talk at once. The group keeps bickering over the walkie until Steve turns it off. Then they get to work. Dinner’s easy because they are just going to order some pizzas. But the house could use a clean and it’s a reason for Julie to pick up the clothes on her floor.

Once her room is clean, Julie heads back downstairs to see if Steve needs any help. There’s a sweet smell coming from the kitchen. It confuses her. Steve’s doing dishes when she walks into the kitchen.

“What are you making?” She sits on one of the barstools.

“Cake, it is your birthday after all.”

“Oh.” Julie can’t remember the last time she’s had a homemade cake at all, let alone for her birthday. “What kind?”

Steve dries his hands on a towel after resting the last dish on the dish rack. “Vanilla, can’t go wrong with that. Hope that’s ok.”

“No, it’s terrible, I actually hate vanilla,” she deadpans, watching Steve’s face start to panic before she smiles. “I’m joking, that’s fine. Good, even.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, that was terrible,” Steve exhales. “You can’t do that to me.”

Julie laughs. “I’m sorry. You’re just so easy to mess with. Need any more help down here?”

“I don’t think so, I got most of it done yesterday. How are you doing though? You seem better.”

Better is a loose term. It like the happiness that she’s feeling is resting on the outside of her skin, not sinking in. Like she’s wearing it as clothes instead of actually feeling it. It doesn’t feel like a mask, though. Or anything really.

But she is happy, with that slight tinge of sadness as an aftertaste. Her smile isn’t fake, and she was able to joke around again. When she woke up, she didn’t dread getting out of bed. Wanted to wear something other than sweats. Cleaned partially because it was a chore, but it didn’t feel taxing. It was a good day.

“Ok,” she answers. A good day didn’t mean a great day, and there was still the feeling of emptiness inside. “I feel happy, kinda but not really. But it feels good, not like I’m pretending or anything.”

“If anything changes, say the word and I’ll kick them out.”

Julie smiles. “I think I’ll be ok, but thank you.”

A few hours later and the doorbell rings. Julie gets up to answer it, almost immediately being crushed in a hug by El.

“Happy birthday,” she says with a squeeze. “I cannot believe that you did not tell us. But I am glad you did.”

Max rolls through the door, Lucas pushing her, with her arms crossed. “Only took you till the day of.”

“Max,” El and Lucas say in unison. Max waves them off.

Julie shrugs. “I didn’t know if I would want to do anything at all. So, I didn’t tell you.”

“At least you have a good reason,” Dustin complains when he comes in. “Unlike someone else we know,” he yells down the hall.

“You need to let that go,” Steve yells back.

“I will not, Robin knew your real birthday before me. And I knew you longer.”

Robin comes through the door, placing her hand on Dustin’s head to push him out of the way. “That just means he likes me better. You guys do know you can move into the house, right? We don’t have to crowd the doorway.”

The group slowly moves into the living room, the rest of them coming in with Eddie and the pizzas. Almost as fast as the pizzas were brought in, they disappeared. Everyone stacking a few slices on their plates before going to the living room to watch a movie. With no fighting because it was Julie’s birthday, so she got to pick, and no one could say anything about it.

When it ends, they gather in the kitchen to have cake. Insisting on singing even though Julie tries to protest. But they do anyway. Not in synch at all, but it doesn’t matter. It makes Julie laugh.

“So,” Dustin starts when they sit down to eat.

“So what?”

“How do you like The Hobbit?”

Lucas groans. “Dude, you’re making her read The Hobbit.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Mike asks.

“You don’t have to read it if you don’t want to,” Max interjects. “He’ll make it seem like it’s a big deal, but it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. It is crucial knowledge that is needed to be a part of this group.”

“Well, I never read it and I’m still here.”

“I have been reading it,” Julie says in hopes to stop the argument. “But they, like, just got to the Lonely Mountain, so calm down. It’s good.”

“See,” Dustin says victorious, “she likes it. I am not forcing her to read it.”

Julie tilts her head to the side. “I mean, there was a little forcing. You did shove it into my hands and then run away so I couldn’t give it back.”

The argument continues until it eventually just dies down into something else. Slowly, parents start to come and pick up their kids. Robin and Eddie stay to help Steve clean up, Julie being forced to sit down when she tries to.

Steve stops her before she heads upstairs to bed. “I know you said no gifts, but,” he hands her a journal. “Happy birthday.”

She looks at the journal in her hands, a red bow stuck to the cover. “Thank you.”

He gives her a side hug before returning to the kitchen, leaving Julie to go upstairs. When she does, she slips on her mom’s sweatshirt when she changes. Climbs into her bed.

Staring at the ceiling, she can almost feel the warm smile on her mom’s face. How happy she would be knowing that Julie had a good day. Good friends. Good family. Know that Julie was taken care of by people who cared about her, wanted to see her succeed.

The happiness of the night left, as if they were taken off when she changed outfits. Sadness doesn’t fill the void that was left, though. Nothing really does.

Thinking about it, Julie should talk to someone. Wants to. Maybe she’ll bring it up to Steve tomorrow, and they can find someone. Or call Sarah, see if she has any recommendations. But that is a tomorrow problem. Right now, Julie wants to go to sleep knowing that today was good.

Wants to feel the smallest bit of joy that was in the house an hour ago. Feel it soak into her and stay instead of draining as soon as the night ended. Find someway to patch up the whole that keeps letting her feelings out. Keep them instead of constantly feeling empty.

Like a child, Julie grabs the pillow next to her and holds it close to her chest. Pretending it was the bear she used so much that it eventually lost its leg. She wasn’t sad. Something else that she couldn’t quite name. She just wanted a little extra comfort as she fell asleep.

Tomorrow, she promised herself. She’d do something about it tomorrow. Right now, she needed to sleep.

Tag list(let me know if you want to be added or removed): @homoerotictangerine, @mugloversonly, @thesuninyaface, @imyelenasexual, @anaibis, @ilovecupcakesandtea, @brainsteddielyrotted, @jackiemonroe5512, @eddie-munsons-missing-nipple, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @cinnamon-mushroomabomination, @lolawonsstuff, @writingandmushroomdragons, @stevesbipanic, @sierra-violet, @steddie-as-they-go, @dauntlessdiva, @mousedetective, @the-daydreamer-in-the-corner, @zombiethingy, @connected-dots-st-reblogger, @that-agender-from-pluto, @allyricas, @cheddartreets, @devondespresso, @crypticcorvidinacottage, @queenie-ofthe-void @chronicpainstevetruther, @cheddartreets, @theupsidedownrealestateagent, @acidbubblegummie, @sirsnacksalot, @l0st-strawberry, @helpimstuckposting, @strawberry-starss, @freddykicksasses, @italianwhore1, @i-threw-my-name-out-the-window, @rageagainsttheapathy, @nuggies4life, @ape31, @whimsicalwitchm, @chrissycunninghamfanblog, @michellegilligan, @hippielittlemetalhead, @bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale, @jaytriesstuff, @confused-stripes, @faeb1tch42069, @marklee-blackmore, @hel-spawn, @genderless-spoon, @mamafaithful, @estrellami-1, @starryeyedpoet17 @i-amthepizzaman, @lilpomelito @melonmochi

[lizzie-is-here]

bucky barnes oneshot

the white cat part 2

bucky barnes x fem! reader

alpine turns out to be the best matchmaker (sorry nat ily)

a/n: a part two? slay very short and sweet 🫶 also short note this time hope you enjoy unless you wanna hear ab my weird dream: ok so like a week ago i like literally lived out three years and i met a guy first year in college while majoring in astronomy and we started dating and he was super sweet and got me flowers and one time it was snowing and we danced on the lawn, but anyway it was my junior year around christmas and i was in the library studying for finals and he came in with daisies and take out to help me but THEN I FUCKING WOKE UP WTF? still mad

the white cat pt. 1

The first date had gone perfectly. Bucky had shown up at the animal shelter right on time, and you had changed in the bathroom to a more date-appropriate outfit. A Japanese steakhouse, a bottle of champagne, and a walk home later, you’d both been eager to schedule another. And three more.

So now, you’re sitting in a back corner of a café (date number five, for those keeping track at home), trying to not stare too hard at the man in front of you.

“Coffee is so much better, holy shit,” he mumbles. You’d recommended a caramel frappuccino, though you’re now mildly convinced he may run off to date it.

“Yeah?” you laugh. “I bet a lot of things are better now.”

Bucky nods, watching the way the corners of your eyes crinkle when you chuckle. He likes that you don’t avoid the topic of his past. Contrary to popular belief, not every moment of his early life was horrible.

Just most of it. Like, seventy years out of one hundred. 70%. Could be worse.

He pulls himself back into reality. “Temperature control? Best thing that’s ever been invented.”

“Oh, really? I’d say modern electronics-“ You gesture around, where students are typing away on laptops and groups of friends are showing each other pictures. “-but I could be biased.”

“Don’t shit talk the flip phone! It works well enough for me.”

“Oh, no. No shit talking here.”

When both of you finish your drinks, you walk Bucky back to his apartment, even though he definitely doesn’t need any extra protection. You enjoy the trek up the stairs you’d normally loathe, and reaching his door makes a weight sink in your chest. He opens it a crack.

Before you can even say goodbye, a white blur races out, ramming into your leg and making you stumble.

Right into Bucky.

“Shit, sorry!”

“She normally isn’t like this-“

The two of you speak at the same time before your eyes lock, breathing syncing as your thoughts both race and stop entirely.

His thoughts race. ‘Is five dates enough to kiss? Probably, right? But it was different then- this isn’t back then, dumbass! Okay, but what do I do? God, she’s pretty this close. Do I lean in? I should lean in, I’m taller than her. Curse you and bless you, Alpine, I’ll get you some Fancy Feast after this-‘

And you only have one thought.

‘Fuck it.’

Pulling him in, your last and only thought leaves the moment your lips touch. His hands hesitantly settle on your back and waist, relaxing when you sigh.

The troublemaker responsible nudges you again, albeit much gentler, purring up at you.

“Hey, Alpine,” you greet, scooping her up. She stretches out and turns limp in your arms. Shit-eating brat. You love her, though. “So, um…” You trail off, but the silence isn’t doesn’t linger for long.

Bucky opens the door fully, nodding inside.

“Would you wanna come in for a bit? Not that you have to, but-“ The way he grins and darts his tongue out across his lips is more convincing than you need. “-your call.”

White ball of fluff in your arms, you agree wholeheartedly.

“How about a movie?” you ask, stepping inside.

Bucky shrugs as you let Alpine down. “I’ve got a list of some Sam told me to watch.” The cat runs to the couch like she knows you’ll end up there.

“We can start there.”

[gurugirl]

The Queen's Secret Ch. 11

Summary: The Queen gets confirmation of what she’s known already but it doesn't make her feel as happy as she’d hoped. She and Harry struggle to stay apart - their moments together are far too fleeting as of late. Gertrude and Edgar still suspect something.

Warning: Angst, mentions of depression, lying

The Queen's Secret Masterlist

Chapter 10*

Chapter 11

Gertrude woke early as she normally did. Lately, sometimes, she took the opportunity to check Harry’s phone. She hadn’t been convinced that he was faithful or that he hadn’t been seeing the Queen when he wasn’t supposed to. Looking over her shoulder she quickly brought his phone upward to see that he’d gotten a message at 11:57pm. From John Gabriel. John was a Duke and worked with Harry from time-to-time.

With a sigh she unlocked his phone and went through a few apps and found nothing out of the ordinary. She was hesitant to click on the message from John because once she did that it wouldn’t show up as a new, unread message and Harry might be on to her for going through his phone. Harry’s settings on his phone made it so that there would be no preview to the message and suddenly Gertrude had the idea to quickly change his settings and then change it back before he noticed. So she could at least see the first part of the text in his notifications window. Just to make sure it was actually from John.

Just as she’d changed his settings Harry began to move as he was starting to wake up.

Gertrude quickly placed the phone back down and left the bedroom before Harry woke up fully. She hadn’t gotten what she was looking for and unfortunately she’d updated the message preview settings on his phone, which he might notice. She hoped he didn’t, but it was too late now. She’d have to play dumb if he realized his settings had been tampered with.

Harry did notice. When he looked at his phone after sitting up and stretching in bed, he saw the preview of the message right there.

From John Gabriel: I love you.

He looked around the room and felt himself panic slightly. How had this happened? His wife could have seen. He opened the messages app up and sleepily smiled for a moment at the sweet message. But he wondered what made her text him so late when it was part of their rules to only text during hours they would get the message so that something like this wouldn’t happen. He texted her back quickly,

From Prince Harry: I love you too.

And then he deleted the texts.

Gertrude didn’t seem upset when Harry went into the kitchen with her. She was making coffee and speaking with the nanny about the kid’s schedules for the day.

“Morning.” Harry’s first words of the day came out in a rasp as both Gertrude and Sally turned to see the handsome Prince.

Harry kept a close eye on Gertrude to see if there was the possibility that she saw the text. He was also a bit perplexed by the sudden settings change. He’d need to redo his password in case it was Gertrude who’d done it. He hated that he couldn’t trust her, but why would he trust her when she shouldn’t trust him? He’d lied to Gertrude and fallen in love with another woman. Of course trust would be an issue between them.

“How did you sleep?” Gertrude asked as she sat at the table with Harry.

“Fine. How about you?” He sipped from the mug of coffee that Gertrude handed him and watched her. He noticed her look down at her hands and then flit her eyes back up to his. He couldn’t be sure but it seemed as though she was nervous about something.

“Fine as well. I’m a bit busy today. Sally will be here until 6 this evening with the kids and I’ve given instructions to Luz to make dinner. I have a few appointments at the castle. What are your plans for the day?” Gertrude tapped her fingers on the wood tabletop and watched Harry. Now they were both carefully watching the other for any sign of knowing what the other was up to.

Harry quickly decided to bring up John Gabriel, as a cover in a way, “I have a few appointments as well. A last-minute meeting came up with John. He texted me late last night. Nothing too important, just some decisions about the budget for construction of the new library, last minute changes I guess.”

Gertrude perked up at the name. She hadn’t gotten to look at the text or even see the preview of the message but this could be likely. Though, she still had her doubts, she didn’t have a choice but to accept what he told her. She nodded.

When Gertrude left Harry promptly changed his password and adjusted his settings back to how they had been.

He had a feeling deep down that Gertrude had tampered with his phone. Which meant she would have seen the preview of the text that read I love you from John. He knew she wouldn’t confront him about it because going through his phone would also be a betrayal. And Harry had a response for her made up in his mind if Gertrude were to confront him about it. But he wouldn’t say anything unless she brought it up.

When the Queen saw Harry’s response she sighed in relief. She’d been a little too reckless in sending that text so late like she had. It sat in his phone all night. She regretted it the following morning when she woke up but seeing that Harry texted her back she felt better. She needed to get ahold of her emotions. It was difficult. She just wanted to be with him night and day and at that moment she didn’t know the next time that she’d be able to see him. To touch him. The idea of not seeing his smile crushed her. She brushed her teeth and splayed a hand over her tummy and felt her eyes prick with tears. She was sad. Very sad. Her husband was already gone for the morning, off to visit a nearby merchant to have lunch.

Instead of moping and going back to bed like she wanted, the Queen dressed herself and pulled her hair up and went to the castle library. She walked around amongst the old shelves and looked for something new to read. She had a conference call to attend after lunch, but otherwise her day was empty. She wanted to find a good book to get her mind off of her problems.

It was depressing to her that she’d devolved into a cheater. A liar. A faker. It wasn’t ever meant to be this way. She was supposed to be a good Queen. She was meant to love her husband and support him in everything he did. And even if she never loved Edgar, she should have upheld her oath, her promise to be a good wife. It was true that she never did love him. She enjoyed him. She liked him enough. Until Harry came into the picture. He showed her what it was like to be loved and to be cherished. It came so easily to her to fall for the Prince. Too easily.

“Queen Y/n. How are you?” Gertrude suddenly spoke from behind the Queen. Y/n turned to see the Princess and smiled.

“I’m well. How are you Princess Gertrude?” She clasped a book in her hand, not sure which book she’d grabbed from the shelf and watched Gertrude.

“Very well. Thank you. I have some meetings at the castle today and stopped here at the library. I love this old library. Harry mentioned that a new one is being built in Manon. Do you know where it will be located?” Gertrude was curious about the Queen. She really didn’t know what to think. Part of her thought that she was just imagining that Harry was smitten by Y/n. It was hard not to imagine it. They’d had sex at least a dozen times from their sessions and the Queen was young and pretty and smart. And even with the protocols in place, Gertrude couldn’t help but feel like anything could have happened behind closed doors. But another part of Gertrude felt like she wasn’t imagining it, because of all of those things.

“I don’t know much about it, to be honest. I believe it’s going to be built near the square so anyone in Manon can access it. I could be wrong, though. Is Harry on the board for that construction?” Y/n did know actually. Here she went again, lying through her teeth. This wasn’t a project that the Queen was supposed to be too privy on, but she happened to know very well where it was going to be built and when. She even knew some of the budget details as she and Harry had spoken about it.

“Yes. He is the head of the board for the library. He hasn’t told me much regarding it so I wondered if you did. I do look forward to it being built. It would be wonderful to have a local library to bring the kids. I’d bring them here to the castle but it’s such a different atmosphere in the castle.” Gertrude smiled. She’d arrived to the castle a little early. She enjoyed walking through the library and smelling all the old books. The library was immaculate and ornate. It used to be one of her favorite places to come before she had children.

When Gertrude excused herself the Queen felt herself relax again. She felt awful. Completely ashamed. What a sorry excuse for a Queen she was.

The gala was tomorrow night. The Queen had been fitted for her dress and it looked just lovely on her. But she didn’t feel lovely. She was sad, anxious, lacking sleep, and constantly trying to hide her tears. The week without seeing Harry was torture. She hadn’t realized how hard it would get. She thought it would get easier but it got worse.

She’d had all morning to herself and had been in between tears and laughter when she took another pregnancy test and it was positive. She texted Harry but he’d yet to respond. She knew he was busy today. She already knew she was pregnant, and Harry had no doubts either. But now it was confirmed. Her emotions were all over the place and simply uncontrollable.

She was elated that she knew now, without a doubt, that she was pregnant. But she was sad because she missed the man who’d helped make her that way. It was a confusing morning overall for her. She sat in her tub and cried her eyes out, sobbing at the unfortunate circumstance – loving a man who was married to another. Who already had children. But then she’d begin to laugh when she found that she was being silly and felt she should be happy because she’d soon be a mother. She was happy. But she was sad also.

The new book that she’d picked was old and difficult to follow but it did a good job of keeping her occupied. She needed to reread paragraphs a couple of times to really understand the meaning at times. It was a good distraction for her. Sitting on her balcony, overlooking the courtyard and feeling the cool air around her was sobering. Reading on her balcony seemed to be the only time, as of late, that she could keep her emotions in check. Maybe it was the book. Maybe it was the cold air. Either way, she tried to allow herself time for reading on her balcony every day. For her sanity.

When Harry finally texted her back, nearly three hours later, she felt herself wither again, a slow spiral into depression. The book now long forgotten, as her lover had finally contacted her. It wasn’t healthy. She could recognize that.

From Prince Harry: We will find time tomorrow to see one another at the gala, my love. I need to kiss your pregnant belly once again in greeting to our child-to-be. I miss you more than I can describe.

His words were sweet and hopeful. It should have made her smile but instead his words brought her sorrow as she clenched her chest over her heart. She didn’t know how they’d find time at the gala. It seemed impossible. Everything seemed impossible. Nothing was going to be easy for them. The Queen crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep, not bothering to text Harry back. She had lost her grip on happiness again.

When Gertrude and Harry arrived at the castle for the gala they’d been arguing. Harry had seemed to start it. He hadn’t heard from Y/n since he responded to her after she told him about her pregnancy test. Nothing. He texted her again and it was silence from her end. It had him worried, in a bad mood and so he picked a fight with Gertrude. He was desperate to see the Queen. His sour mood would only be corrected if he could see her.

Nearly the entire kingdom was in attendance. The gala was for the fundraising of Manon infrastructure and to add a new wing to the hospital. Everyone was dressed to the nines. Tables were spread out in the ballroom with the seating arrangements totally up to the guests. There was live entertainment, gourmet food, an open bar, and all for a good cause. It was expensive to buy a seat but it would be worth it. The gala would surely bring in enough money to begin work on the hospital and update the streets surrounding the town center. It was something that had been needed for a few years.

Harry and Gertrude sat with a couple who they considered to be their friends. Harry forced a smile and looked around the room for his lover. He didn’t see her just yet.

“Please go and get me a drink. Red wine, a blend maybe.” Gertrude said to Harry. She was upset with him. He had not been nice to her all morning and had even snapped at Colin when he asked Harry to read to him when the nanny arrived. She barely wanted to look at him in that moment. Having him fetch drinks would give her space to breathe. She was worried that he was on to her for changing the settings in his phone.

Harry happily left the table. He needed air. From Gertrude. His head was on a swivel as he approached the bar. He hoped to see Y/n. He was feeling shaky and nervous that she was going to start shutting him out again. Or maybe something had happened with the King? Or maybe she fell ill? He didn’t know what the reason was for her sudden silence was but his stomach was in knots over it.

He ordered a glass of red wine for his wife and a bourbon on the rocks for himself. Then he sat at an empty table nearby and waited for his drinks, keeping an eye on the bartender as well as looking around the room in search for his love. The drinks didn’t take as long to put together as Harry had hoped. He was up and back at the bar within a few minutes grabbing the drinks.

With both hands occupied he very, very slowly made his way back to Gertrude. He took the long way, going around the perimeter of the room. Gertrude wasn’t looking in his direction at all so she wasn’t aware of the way Harry was clearly stalling to get back to her.

When a small commotion happened behind him he turned. There were a few people clapping and standing suddenly. The King and Queen had entered the room. Harry stopped. She was breathtaking. She always was but something about her in that moment had Harry nearly falling to his knees. He was stuck in motion as he observed her movements and her smile. It was a forced smile. She was not happy. Not really. She looked beautiful and no one would know that the smile she painted on her face was fake. Harry could see it, though.

When the King and Queen took their seats at the head of the room Harry noticed that Edgar seemed to be scolding her. He wondered if the king knew she was pregnant. Wondered if she’d told anyone other than Harry. And then she suddenly lifted her head and it was as if her gaze was drawn to her lover by magnet.

Harry smiled weakly and kept his eyes on hers and he saw her smile back at him before looking down to her lap. He turned finally to make his way back to his seat.

The gala was as expected. The entertainment was a good distraction, the silent auction brought in even more money for the fundraiser. Harry and Gertrude barely spoke to or looked at one another.

When Gertrude got up to use the bathroom Harry got up to make his way near the Queen. He hoped maybe she’d see him and she’d make an excuse to get up from her seat. It worked. When Y/n noticed Harry near the doorway that led to the small hallway for the servers she got up to stretch her legs. Edgar was deep in conversation.

Harry ducked into the hallway when he noticed the Queen was coming and she quickly made her way to him.

There was nowhere for them to hide or to be in private. The hallway was highly trafficked by the kitchen staff coming and going. But they still had their moment together.

“Harry. Hi.” She said when she stood before him. She wanted to put her arms around his neck and pull him down for a kiss but she refrained.

Harry smiled gently, “Hi. How are you feeling?” He didn’t want to immediately bring up how he’d been very upset and in a bad mood after she didn’t respond to him. His nerves settled once the Queen’s eyes were on his and they could speak.

“I’m… okay. I’m just very upset. I hate this.” She looked down and closed her eyes. She felt better standing before Harry. It made her feel whole. It’s like all the small cracks that began to run through her body in the absence of his presence were suddenly filled and pasted back together again. His voice and his gaze were healing.

“I know exactly how you feel. I can’t breathe when you’re not with me. I miss you.” His whispers were low and the Queen looked up at him, holding back any tears that might fall down her face.

She swallowed and nodded. They both knew. They both felt it.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you back I was so sad. I didn’t know how to respond and I just needed to cry. But it’s because I miss you and I don’t know when we can be together again, and that just will not do. I need more.” She confided.

Harry was taken aback. He hadn’t expected her to pour herself out like that. She tended to be more reserved with her feelings. And especially as they were stood in a public hallway with other people around.

“I know. It does hurt. All I want is to be with you. I’ve been in a very bad mood all day because I’ve missed you so much.” He nodded as he spoke and looked around to make sure that no one was eyeing them.

“It’s terrible. And I haven’t told anyone yet. I just need a little more time to pull myself together and then I’ll tell Edgar. You’re the only one who knows.” She graced him with her beautiful gaze and Harry was close to losing it and just taking her face in his hands and pressing his mouth to hers in a searing kiss that no one would mistake for friendly.

“I love you. So much.” He didn’t know what else to say. They needed to get back before they were caught by the King or Gertrude.

Y/n put her fingers into his for a brief moment, “I love you too, Harry. With everything I am,” and then left him in the hallway, her perfume lingering in the air behind her.

Harry leaned his head back onto the wall behind him and closed his eyes. These small meetings weren’t enough. Nothing was enough. He felt like he could die without her. His heart shriveling the moment she walked away. He needed her near to feel okay. To feel whole. But at least he knew her heart was still his. That notion allowed him to put a smile on his face and walk back to the table to his wife.

The announcement of the Queen’s pregnancy was a big to-do. A gathering of friends and colleagues and important people of the Kingdom was planned for a celebration of sorts.

Everyone congratulated the Queen and King on the pregnancy and Harry felt the sting of insignificance. He was the father, but no one could know it. He was the man that the Queen was in love with, the man who loved her with all of his heart. But no one would ever know. The celebration was modest and jovial. Except that the Queen and the Prince were not able to feel the joy of the celebration the way they had wanted to. They didn’t get to sit together, or hug, or even speak to one another. The King and Gertrude had kept a close watch that their spouses would not wander off with the other.

Harry’s mood had been rotten. Gertrude was not dumb. And the Queen was constantly crying and Edgar noticed. They both felt trapped, suffocated, imprisoned. It should have been a happy occasion but Y/n could barely feign a smile and would not touch her food. Harry wanted to comfort her and make her eat. He watched as she folded inward and kept her head down for most of the celebration.

And others also noticed the Queen’s sadness as well. They wouldn’t speak of it openly, but whispers were bound to start. The usually composed and well-kept Queen was clearly upset and not enjoying the occasion as she should have.

Two weeks of not seeing one another at all was brutally painful. They did continue to text and send the occasional picture. A call a day.

When the Queen went to the doctor for her checkup everything was as it should be. She was healthy and the first person she told about her appointment was Harry. They both felt warm longing whenever they were engaged in a text exchange or on a call with one another. Harry had begun taking quick trips to the market so he could call the Queen at certain times of the day when he knew she was alone. Hearing her voice was becoming mandatory.

Slowly, Harry began resenting Gertrude. It was a slow build up that he hadn’t recognized before but he was sure that she knew something and the phone incident all those weeks ago had him keeping a close eye on her. She never brought it up but he knew she had at least changed the settings on his phone.

He also knew she didn’t deserve his resentment, his coldness, his anger. Had she really done anything so wrong? She was concerned that her husband was stepping out on her and she was not wrong. Her intuition was spot-on. Harry just didn’t like being caught, didn’t like being questioned or doubted. But it was inevitable because he had slowly began to keep himself away from Gertrude more and more.

And Gertrude did blame herself. She knew that he needed more than she wanted to give over the last few years. But now she felt it might be too late to try and allow him in more. Give him more of the things he so desired in a partner. But she’d gotten so comfortable with how they had settled into their routine. And now she feared he was drifting from her for good. She feared it was too late.

It had been weeks since she’d had sex with Harry. Typically he tried to engage her, he’d make the move and Gertrude would give in and wind up enjoying it. But now that Harry wasn’t engaging, wasn’t trying to have sex with her she felt the need in herself to try and make the first move. She’d showered and shaved and talked herself up. She was going to try. Make an effort.

But when she got to her bedroom, Harry was not there. Normally he was already in bed with a book or his cellphone in hand as he waited for her. But the bed was still made and her husband was not in the room.

She went into the hallway and found that little Peter’s door was cracked open and there was a light on. She peeked into the room and saw her husband and her youngest son lying together on the small twin bed, both fast asleep with the small lamp illuminating their faces. Peter would grow up to look just like Harry, she was sure of it.

She backed away and went into the master bedroom where she fell asleep in their large king-sized bed all by herself. This was her penance for keeping her sweet husband at arm’s length for so long. She knew there might be no going back.

Harry woke the following morning in Peter’s bed. His original plan was to sleep in bed with his wife like he normally would but then when he realized Gertrude was taking an extra-long time in the bathroom he wondered if she was gearing up to have sex. He doubted it, because she rarely wanted it, but he also felt disgusted at the idea and so he went to get some water and to get his mind on right. He noticed that Peter’s door was open and his little boy was sitting in bed not asleep still.

It was the perfect excuse and the best way to avoid having sex with Gertrude if that’s what she intended. It also meant he got to cuddle with his youngest boy and fall asleep with him in his arms. That might have been the best night’s sleep Harry had had in over a month. It would soon become a tradition, with Harry switching off from each child to escape his wife and the way he resented her mere presence.

Every morning he texted the Queen that he loved her and every morning she responded by telling him she loved him back. But this morning, the morning he woke up well rested from Peter’s bed the Queen responded differently. It had Harry’s mood soaring and his dimples unable to be hidden.

To Prince Harry: Edgar leaves in three days. I have a plan.

Ch 12*

Thank you for reading! I’d appreciate any support you can give! Whether a comment, reblog, or buying me a coffee - it’s all appreciated. 💕

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Xoxo

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[darlingdarlingdontlookhere]

part 2 to this omo thought i made bit ago: (cw for sfw omo and omutsu, this time it isnt just mentioned theres actual diapers here now lmao)

---

after returning home the rest of the night is quiet and basic for A, they even head to bed early due to the stress the evening has caused.

B on the other hand was working pretty consistently that night to fully implement the new rules for A. Sending out an order to retrieve a few items in the process

by the time the clock struck 2 in the morning everything was already in perfect motion.

...

When A woke up that morning they were met with the regular full feeling they usually had in the mornings. groaning, as their bed was sooooo warm, they sat up and rubbed their eyes. Like clockwork they put on slippers to shield their feet from the cold and then walked over to the door to their en-suite. strangely though, they found it wouldn't open. hm... maybe the door was stuck? they would figure it out later.

heading downstairs they attempted to open the bathroom on that floor. stuck again, they huffed to themselves and crossed their arms. how odd. 'Someone must be using it,' they supposed, 'i guess i'll have to wait for awhile then.'

as they turned around to head towards their kitchen, they bumped into B.

"up early I see, good. there's lots to do today. Coffee is nearly ready and i'll prepare your breakfast in a moment, but theres something we must attend to. follow me" B gestures to follow and then heads upstairs,

A tilts their head to the right and follows "is this about... what you said last night?"

"the rules and protection? yes. yes it is" they respond without even looking back.

A gulps but holds their head high.

They end up inside of a room A very rarely goes in, it's the guest bedroom at the end of the hall upstairs. Usually it's neat and tidy with almost nothing in it aside from a bed, side table, and dresser, but a few items and packages are placed neatly around, and on the bed is a new bed spread, and A's clothes that were picked out for them, normally this would be on A's bed for after A ate breakfast....

A shoots B a glance "what is this?"

"i would assume you wouldn't want someone else seeing these items in your bedroom, so I feel like its only natural they'd be in here. We don't get visitors anyway"

A raises an eyebrow "why are my clothes here?"

"you'll see, now why don't you undress and I can help you put these on"

"help me?" A takes a step back "why would I need help putting on clothes"

"it's just so I can show you how to use a couple things. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

A huffs, "fine."

after a moment A begins to take off their pajamas, until theyre in just their underwear, then they go to take the neatly folded pants layed out on the bed.

B tsks "underwear too"

A looks at B in confusion, searching for an ounce of joking in their features but they only get their regular professional monotone look. "go on" they say with a wave of their hand

A sighs and slowly slides down their underwear, the cold suddenly bringing back their need to use the toilets. quickly they go to the stack of clothes again, but this time B grabs their arm

"have a seat on the bed for me."

A does so against their better judgment, thinking that questioning everything would just prolong their wait for the toilet

from the bottom of the stack, b takes a pastel pink bundle and begins to unravel it. revealing it in all it's glory

"is that a diaper? you've got to be joking. im not putting that on! i'm a grown ass person and I can control my own bladder!"

B raises an eyebrow and then looks down at A's legs, theyre crossed tightly and jiggling non-stop "uh huh. You're very convincing."

A scoffs and looks away "the sarcasm is not appreciated."

B "well let's look at it my way, You are an adult person who's clearly got more potty training to do as you never go when you need to and always have accidents in the most inconvenient of times. and I'm stuck with cleaning up the mess. I don't mind cleaning up for you, but seriously I'd rather a single garment then a puddle ruined furniture."

a beat of silence passes and then A looks down and whines in distaste "I don't want to wear it..."

B lifts up their chin "I promise you it wont be so bad, just try this for me alright?"

A's eyes meet B's, and is suddenly unable to resist "ohhhh.... ok fine..."

B lights up a bit and smiles "very good, now lay back so i can put this on you"

hesitating, A looks away and brings their hand to cover their mouth "hmmm..." they try to bring themselves to ask for the bathroom first, but all that comes out is a soft whine

"come on now, are you so helpless that i need to push you on the bed aswell?" B chuckles gently, a comforting sound "theres nothing to be concerned about, I promise the sooner we get this on, the sooner we can move onto other things" They bring a hand to A's chest and gently pushes them on their back

they land with a soft thud "oof-", they squeeze their legs an wiggle a bit at the wave that was brought on by the change in position, then they hear a soft crinkle of the bed underneath, "hey what's with the bed spread?"

B speaks as they gather a bag from the other side of the room "oh yes, i've put down a water proof mattress protector underneath the sheets, its just for emergencies, you know. in case you leak while you're being changed"

A brings their hands to their face and groans in embarrassment, this was all so humiliating.

B brings the bag over and then gets to work, lifting up A's legs and sliding the padding underneath their bum. they place the legs back down and spread them slightly, preventing A from squirming, and they apply a lotion and powder to the area before expertly taping the garment into place

"there, now you may put your clothes on"

A is stunned by how quick the proccess actually went, they go to sit up and run a hand around the padding o see how it feels. its thick around their waist and crotch, spreading their legs apart slightly, but it would easily be hidden by a waist coat, thick pants or a long enough skirt. the size is no problem, but the sound...

Every time they move, they emit a crinkle, it's deafening and embarrassing... they go to grab their day clothes to see if a pair of pants would dampen the sound any.

as they stand up B begins to speak again,

"now, as I said before I do have some new rules in mind."

A scoffs "yeah yeah, lets get them over with"

B clears their throat "Alright... if you need a change just tell me, but I will check you every so often even if you don't. If you need the restroom just let me know I have every bathroom locked aside from the one in the maids quarters. there are more private supplys in there and I didn't think you'd want the other help to know about this. just let me know and i'll unlock it for you"

"why can't I just have a key?"

"you have a track record of losing things, you wouldn't want to lose the key to your own toilet would you?"

A grumbles as they button up their shirt

"didn't think so. if you need a change we are out you are to let me know immediately so I can find a suitable place as soon as possible. you got all that?"

"yes mom" A rolls their eyes as they smooth down their clothes

B smiles lightly and pats A on the back "i'm proud of you for not giving me too much trouble with this, I know this must be doing numbers on your pride"

A blushes "yeah yeah. whatever let's just-" before A can finish their sentence, a huge wave washes over them, they whimper a bit trying to squeeze their legs, but the padding keeps them from getting too much relief.

B looks over "is there something you need" they ask expectantly

"n- no i-!" a small spurt dribbles into the padding and they swallow hard. even though they want to ignore it and move on, they cant. denying their needs is what brought them to this position in the first place they lower their head and play with the hem of their shirt "a- actually... may I go to the toilet.... please?" A says just above a mumble

B smiles faintly "of course you may" b places their hand on the small of A's back and leads them to the nearest bathroom

A whispers a thank you as b places their hand on the small of A's back and leads them to the nearest bathroom. as they reach the top floors bathroom, b pulls out a key and goes to unlock it, A watches as they hop from foot to foot.

the moment it's open A rushes inside and locks the door, another small leak is quickly absorbed into the padding, "ooohhhh..." they whimper out

they pull down their pants and go to pull down their diaper, but its too tight around their waist to go down.

"oh no... come on!" a struggles with it a few more times before deciding it just wont work, they go to pick at the tapes instead

a few more spurts spread into their diaper, turning the front a faded yellow. no matter how hard they pull at the tapes it wont come off. tears spread in their eyes as they whimper and whine

a knock comes from the door "is everything alright?"

A bites back a sob, and holds themselves, pressing the damp diaper into themselves to offer some form of relief "it- it wont come off!!!"

"may I come in and help?"

"um... yes please."

a jingle is heard as B unlocks the door from the outside and enters, finally catching a glimpse of A, who is a pitiful sight to behold.

"oh dear, come here A, let me help"

A shuffles closer, and b kneels down to untape the tapes, which do in fact seem to be stuck "oh my.. i may have underestimated the tapes on these ones. maybe I should get a different brand next time" b mutters to themself "I may have to go get some scissors, can you wait for me?" B looks up at A expectantly,

A wants to say that they can, but suddenly their bladder makes the decision for them. A chokes back a sob and holds onto the wall to support themselves as their legs shake, a hiss is heard as their diaper is filled and relief and embaressment washes over A. tears trickle down their cheeks and drip onto the ground as they sniffle pitifully.

B stands up again and goes to rub A's back, genuinely feeling bad "oh dear.... I'm sorry A, are you alright?"

A sniffles and whines "i nearly made it..."

B smiles "yes, and you actually admited you needed the restroom this time. I'm proud of you, you are making good progress"

"but I still had an accident..."

B brushes a hair out of A's face "that's ok, its mostly my fault for providing you with diapers with tapes that stick together like they were glued."

A chuckles lightly and wipes their eyes, they shift their weight and realize how icky they feel "um..."

B tilts their head "yes?"

"may I be changed now....?" A says, mumbling.

smiling, B pats their back "of course my dear."

-the end, part 3 coming maaaaaybe?????? idk-

[hockeylvr59]

Here With Me Part 18 || Taylor Makar

Author’s Note: It's silly for Kelsey to go home when she's with Taylor the night before Medical Ethics right? She might as well spend the night. After some convincing she agrees but yet thanks to some snow (6-8 inches worth) it turns into the couple's first snow day instead. FC: Marina Laswick (@marooshk on instagram).

Warnings: cursing, smut // Word Count: 5,690

~~~~

Seventeen

February 22, 2023

“Yes Taylor…right there.” Kelsey moaned softly. 

Taylor’s hands were absolute magic, digging into her internal oblique muscle on her right side. 

It had been a long day for Kelsey, from the annual engage conference at Hampshire which took the place of normal classes to another practice with her girls in which her skate blade had caught the ice funny causing her internal oblique muscle to be tweaked and spasm endlessly. 

Though she’d tried to drive home she’d only made it across campus before the pain was too much and she was pulling into Taylor’s lot before calling her boyfriend. She’d barely been able to explain through the pain but her tone alone caused him to race downstairs. After giving her lower back a cursory massage which eased the pain enough for her to head inside with him, they made their way to his room where he was now being far more thorough, working to help the muscle release so the throbbing pain would stop. 

Leaning her head back against his shoulder as Taylor sat behind her on the bed, Kelsey sighed in relief as slowly the pain receded. 

“What did you even do?” Taylor mumbled as his thumbs slowed and lightened their pressure just stroking over the muscle gently to calm the area.

“Blade caught funny.” Kelsey replied. “Instant pain.” 

Taylor didn’t seem fully convinced that she could be in this much pain from just a tiny tweak alone. 

“Sometimes with hormonal changes the muscles of my lower back get a little more sensitive for a few days a month, I’ll be fine though Tay. Just need to take some pain meds.” 

Kissing her head, Taylor got up and came back with a bottle of Advil, a tube of biofreeze, and a bottle of water. Handing her the former and latter, Taylor moved to use the roll on topical meds over that whole side of her lower back, letting it dry before tugging her shirt back down. 

“Since you’re here, want to stay and watch a movie?” He asked softly.

“Sure.” Kelsey agreed, knowing that she didn’t want to risk driving until the meds had taken effect anyway. So shifting up Taylor’s bed, she moved to get comfortable without jostling her back too much. 

Since she didn’t particularly care what they watched she urged Taylor just to pick something as he snuggled against her, his laptop on his thigh. Though she wasn’t super focused on the movie, she did enjoy the feeling of Taylor’s arm around her, stroking her lower back gently through her shirt. It made her sleepy but she did her best to stay awake. 

She must have dozed off a few times because eventually she felt Taylor kiss her head before he murmured softly. 

“Why don’t you just spend the night? You have class here in the morning anyway.” 

His words woke her up and she groaned before shaking her head. 

“I can’t Tay.” His look spoke the ‘why not’ for him and Kelsey sighed. “I don’t have any clothes for tomorrow nor do I have anything for class.” 

“I’m sure we could find something for you to wear.” Taylor whispered nosing against her head again as if his touch could sucker her into it. 

“Still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t have books for tomorrow T.” Kelsey sighed. “You know I like spending the night with you, just can’t.” 

This time it was Taylor who sighed and the puppy dog look on his face was too much. 

“Taylor…” 

“Fine.” He pouted softly. “But you know…if you’re going to come over on a Monday or Wednesday night why don’t you just plan on packing what you need to spend the night. Seems silly for you to go home and come back.” 

“It’s not that far T.” Kelsey murmured. 

“Far enough.” 

Kelsey couldn’t help but laugh at how pathetic Taylor was being right now. 

“Also not sure your roommates really want me spending more nights over.” Kelsey added. 

“Honestly doubt they’ll care.” Taylor prodded. 

“Check with your roommates and I’ll think about it.” Kelsey stated firmly before twisting her head to kiss her boyfriend. “But I should get home before I start to doze off again.” 

Scooting her way off of his bed, Kelsey jumped down and moved to grab her phone and keys which were the only things she had brought up. 

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” She assured him before stealing a couple more kisses and making her way back to her car. 

She did not in fact see him in class because UMass had a delayed opening which canceled Medical Ethics. 

And boy did she hear about that. 

***

February 24, 2023

Instead the next time she saw him was two days later after his Friday night game. With it being senior night she hadn’t planned on staying through the lengthy postgame ceremony but it had been a good game and so she’d lingered before making her way down to the hallways near the locker room to wait. 

Once again it wasn’t Taylor who spotted her first but Mikey and when Taylor came out of the locker room after being fetched he had taken his jersey and top pads off but was still in his skates, hockey pants, and base layer. The fact that he was still in skates meant that he towered over her more than usual. 

“You came.” Taylor declared, grinning down at her as he leaned a hand on the wall beside her. “And you’re wearing the hat.” 

Kelsey had in fact worn the hat he’d given her Valentine’s day with his number on the side. 

“Yeah well might be my last chance to come support you this season.” Kelsey declared, enjoying the sight of him half dressed. “And I like the hat.” 

Taylor didn’t give her the chance to say anything more as he swooped in for a soft kiss, his lips just caressing over hers gently. 

Moving her fingers to tangle in his sweaty hair, Kelsey kissed him back just enjoying the moment. Neither noticed the freshmen peeking their heads out of the locker room or the seniors coming back down the hall with their parents and Carvy behind them. 

Carvy cleared his throat but neither Taylor nor Kelsey moved to break their tender kiss. 

“Makar…I gave you two rules…” 

Eyes all around them went wide with varying expressions of ‘Taylor is so fucked’ and ‘what the hell is happening.’

Peeking out of the corner of her eye at her uncle, Kelsey proceeded to flip him off while still kissing Taylor lightly. 

It wasn’t like it was a dirty or inappropriate kiss. It was light and soft and Kelsey really didn’t care who saw them. She wasn’t going to get much time with her boyfriend this weekend so she needed this little moment. 

In hushed whispers the seniors rushed to explain to their families that the girl was Carvy’s niece and that was just the kind of relationship they had so her flipping him off wasn’t as offensive as it may have seemed. Her actions even drew small smiles from a few of them because yeah that was just Kelsey for you. 

“Alright, cool it Kelsey.” Carvy stated before laughing. “Taylor needs to go cool down, not get warmed back up.” 

Though she rolled her eyes, Kelsey broke the series of kisses after one more and hugged Taylor softly before letting him retreat to the locker room, a wide smile on his face and a promise that she would text him later following. 

Though she hadn’t planned on it, she was definitely glad she had stayed because that was absolutely worth it. 

****

February 27-28, 2023

Though Taylor’s roommates hadn’t been thrilled about him wanting Kelsey to spend more nights they weren’t going to flat out tell him that he couldn’t have her over. 

So, Monday evening after their usual roommate dinner was finished, Kelsey came over with a bag including clothes and hygiene products as well as her things for class the following morning. As she sat at Taylor’s desk doing homework, Taylor lounged on his bed watching some hockey game, trying but failing at not distracting her. 

“You know you’re not helping your argument for me to come over more during the week.” Kelsey teased as Taylor once again dropped a kiss to her head while passing by after going to the bathroom. 

“Aren’t you done yet?” Taylor pouted, earning a soft glare from his girlfriend. 

“Give me another half hour T.” Kelsey insisted, just wanting to get through her current assignment before putting things away for the night. 

To his credit, Taylor sighed but was relatively well behaved after that in letting her focus on her materials for school. 

Closing her books and computer, Kelsey put them away before standing up to stretch. 

“Thank you.” She murmured softly, smiling at him over her shoulder before stepping toward his bed. Immediately Taylor reached for her, pulling her up onto the bed with him and Kelsey moved to straddle his thigh, carefully pushing the computer with the game on aside a little. 

As his hands moved in exploration over her body, Kelsey leaned in to kiss him softly before pulling back. “Can we talk about something?” She asked softly. 

Taylor’s hands slid along her lower back just above her ass as he nodded, propping himself up against the headboard a bit more. 

“When you get a chance I want you to go get tested for STIs.” Kelsey stated. “And don’t let your mind go nuts on me okay. This is just another one of my precautionary things since we’ve been together awhile now.” 

“Sure Kels.” Taylor agreed, sliding his hands down over her ass. “I’ll check into an appointment or walk-in testing this week.” She couldn’t help but be a bit relieved that he didn’t make a big deal about it. 

Kissing him again, Kelsey relaxed into Taylor’s touch. 

“Don’t you want to finish watching the game?” She asked, breaking the kiss after a few minutes, her forehead resting against Taylor’s. 

“Nah. I’m good.” Taylor declared, pressing forward for another kiss. There really was nothing like just kissing him, enjoying the feeling of his body pressed against her own. 

After what had to be at least a half hour, Kelsey felt the fatigue of the day start to sink in and she broke the kiss yawning. 

“Think it’s time to start getting ready for bed T.” She murmured softly. 

Taylor kissed the side of her head before letting her get up and Kelsey moved to grab pjs from her bag. Moving to the bathroom after changing, Kelsey went through her normal routine before returning to Taylor’s room and flopping down onto his floor with his desk at her back. 

Though Taylor didn’t say anything, she could feel him watching her as she stretched and grabbed her phone to pull up her nightly meditation. 

“You should join me Tay…” She murmured softly, peeking up at him. “I think it would be good for you.” As she patted the spot beside her, Taylor looked at her curiously before shifting those long limbs to sit down. “Just close your eyes and breathe.” Kelsey directed, starting to play the meditation audio to walk them through it. 

Meditation was something that helped Kelsey to reorient herself and put one day behind her while setting herself up for success the next. It wasn’t something she did on the weekends as much so this was the first time she was doing it in front of Taylor. 

Just letting herself relax, Kelsey focused on the monotone voice and the rhythm of her breathing. She could hear Taylor’s breaths beside her and the warmth of his presence only helped her body to settle. 

When the audio stopped, Kelsey just continued with her breathing for a few more minutes before finally opening her eyes. Taylor’s eyes were still closed and Kelsey leaned over to kiss his cheek before slowly standing up. 

“C’mon Tay, let’s get some sleep.” She whispered, offering a hand out to help him up off the floor. 

Slowly Taylor pushed himself up while taking her hand and then hugged her softly, lips grazing her temple. He looked more relaxed and Kelsey could only smile at that hoping that the quiet time meditating had helped him the way it helped her. 

After getting his hug, Taylor lifted her up onto his bed and Kelsey shifted to make room for him as he moved to turn out the light and pull the shirt off over his head. Once he had settled in beside her, Kelsey snuggled into him and rested her head on his bare chest just ready to get a good night’s sleep before class tomorrow. 

“Night Kels.” 

“Night T.” 

***

Kelsey jolted awake not to the sound of her own alarm but to what must have been Taylor’s phone buzzing frantically on his nightstand. 

“Kels it’s fine.” Taylor mumbled, kissing her head as his long arm reached for his phone. “Umass is closed today because of the snow. Go back to sleep.” He reported before setting his phone aside once more. 

“Wait what?” Kelsey insisted, even more awake now as she propped herself up and looked toward the window. She hadn’t checked the weather to have any idea that it was going to snow. 

“It snowed Kels.” Taylor mumbled again, his voice deep with sleep. “So umass is closed. Medical Ethics prof emailed to do the reading for Thursday and we’ll discuss it all then.” Feeling her get more worked up, this time Taylor reached for her phone, handing it to her. 

“Check your emails. Your other classes today are probably canceled too, we were supposed to get like 6-8 inches.” 

Blearily looking at her phone, Kelsey pulled up her email seeing the one Taylor had mentioned regarding medical ethics. There was also one from her other morning class informing them that due to weather and the professor not being local that even though the college wasn’t officially closed, he was canceling class. 

“Now can we go back to sleep?” Taylor questioned softly, his arms wrapping around her tighter. 

Though she was fully awake, Taylor’s bed was warm and now she didn’t have anywhere she needed to be. Turning her alarm off, Kelsey handed her phone back to Taylor and took a deep breath before settling down and ducking her face into his neck to block out the morning light. 

“Sleep.” Taylor mumbled, his chest rumbling under her. Though Kelsey wasn’t sure that she would be able to sleep, she would at least enjoy Taylor’s scent and the way he clung to her. Though she couldn’t describe his scent beyond the slight linger of soap, it smelled good and made her entire body relax. 

Kelsey knew that she could get a little stressed and uptight when it came to school but admittedly it was nice to have a snow day where she could just spend a morning cuddled into her boyfriend’s arms without either of them having any obligations. They really hadn’t had too many mornings like this. 

Certainly none where they could go back to sleep. 

With Taylor’s scent making her calm, his warmth making her feel safe, and the rhythm of his steady breathing under her, Kelsey dozed off despite not thinking she’d be able to. 

When she awoke again, she had no idea what time it was, however, her bladder was screaming at her. Attempting to shift only led to Taylor’s arms tightening around her and Kelsey whimpered softly. 

“T c’mon. Need to pee.” She murmured into the skin of his neck while wiggling slightly. With a sigh he loosened his grip and Kelsey slipped out from under the blankets to make her way across the hall to the bathroom. 

Ensuring she had put the seat down, Kelsey took care of business and then washed her hands before splashing a little bit of water onto her face, rubbing at her eyes. As she stepped out of the bathroom she nearly bumped into another large chest. 

“Wow. Surprised T let you out of bed.” Mercs murmured jokingly. 

“He definitely didn’t want to.” Kelsey replied, moving around him to step back into Taylor’s room.

As soon as Taylor spotted her again, he was reaching for her to come back to bed. He really was like a koala always wanting to cling to her. Complying to his wants, Kelsey moved to climb back into bed letting him wrap his arms back around her. 

“I’m not going to be able to sleep T.” She declared running a palm along the bare skin of his chest. 

“Just cuddle then.” He breathed, yawning softly. 

Kelsey was open to cuddles and let him wrap her up in his arms. But after a few minutes she trailed her hand down to the light grazing of hair along his happy trail just stroking gently. It was a subconscious thing but she loved caressing that spot on his body which led to some of her other favorite parts of his anatomy. 

She’d barely started playing with that patch of skin when Taylor grunted and pulled her body directly on top of his chest cutting off her access. 

Pouting, Kelsey shifted her hips to grind gently against Taylor’s dick. Now that she was awake and all pressed up against her boyfriend’s mostly nude body Kelsey couldn’t deny the itch that lingered under her skin. It had been over two weeks since they’d had sex and though it hadn’t really bothered her before, now she wanted to feel him inside her. 

Though it didn’t take long for Taylor’s dick to pop into a semi, he didn’t get any harder than that. Clearly he wasn’t in the mood for sex for some reason and Kelsey couldn’t help but sigh. 

“Is someone horny?” He chuckled, his hands dropping to her ass. 

“Two weeks T.” Kelsey mumbled. “How are you not horny?” 

“I‘m hungry, Kels.” Taylor’s response made Kelsey sigh again and she started to shift to get up so he could get breakfast only to be stopped by his hands holding her still and then shifting her over just one of his thighs. 

Gently his hands pushed her shorts and underwear down to her knees before helping her kick them off. 

“Taylor. You said you’re hungry.” Kelsey murmured, confused as to why he was undressing her when he was too hungry for sex. 

“Ride my thigh Kels.” Taylor instructed. 

“What?” Kelsey asked, a little confused as her mind raced to process Taylor’s words. She’d never ridden someone’s thigh before but she could imagine how it would be pleasurable. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah Kels.” 

Biting her lip, Kels lowered herself over his thigh and took his little bit of guidance to grind down on the thick muscles of his quads. It took a minute to find a movement and angle that felt good but once she did she rolled her hips frantically seeking out the pleasure of an orgasm. As she ground against him, her arousal spread, making the glide easier and allowing her to increase her speed. 

“Holy shit Kels, that’s so hot.” Taylor grunted, his eyes heavy as he watched her. “C’mon…get yourself off on me.” 

Taylor’s words only fueled her more and within a few minutes, Kelsey felt an orgasm roll through her just strong enough to take the edge off of the itch. 

As her body weakened, Taylor sat up and hugged her tight, kissing her head and whispering how beautiful she is when she cums. Reaching for the handy box of tissues beside his bed, Taylor gently cleaned her and his thigh up before waiting for her to regain control of her body to get up and get breakfast. 

Once she was strong enough, Taylor guided her off the bed to redress while he moved to get up and throw his own clothes on before going out to where his roommates might be lingering. 

Though she was sure Taylor’s roommates probably sent him some raised eyebrows, no one said anything and she moved to look out the window in the living room as Taylor moved to the kitchen. It had definitely snowed there was no doubt about that. 

“Can I help?” She asked softly as she moved back to the little kitchen area. 

“Crack eggs while I go to the bathroom?” Taylor replied, shifting out of the way to give Kelsey kitchen space when she nodded and asked how many. Following his instruction, Kelsey washed her hands and then got to work and by the time she had finished cracking eggs, Taylor had returned. Working in tandem, they prepped a simple breakfast and then moved to the living room to sit and eat. 

“We should go play in the snow after we finish.” Kelsey murmured, nudging Taylor’s leg with her foot as they sat on the couch. 

“You hate the cold…” Taylor trailed off between bites. 

“But I like playing in the snow.” Kelsey insisted, shrugging at Taylor’s look of confusion. “Come on. We should all go out, it’ll be fun.” She declared throwing the roommates into the mix even if Lauts was the only one presently in the room. 

“I’d be down.” Lauts piped up from the small dining room table. 

Sending Taylor a look of ‘see’, Kelsey nudged him again. 

“You really want to go out?” Taylor questioned. 

“Yes.” Kelsey stated emphatically. 

“Okay. If you want to go play in the snow that badly we can go play.” Taylor chuckled. 

Grinning, Kelsey resumed eating her breakfast while Lauts moved to inform Mercs and Mikey to get dressed to go out in the snow. 

Once they were done eating, Taylor took their dishes into the kitchen to wash while Kelsey moved back to his room to grab her toothbrush for her morning hygiene routine before dressing warmly in as many layers as possible. 

When Taylor returned he smiled and rolled his eyes a bit before stepping to kiss her head. 

“You’re something else sometimes, you know that?” He asked, the smile and tone of voice telling her the statement was made in fondness. 

“But you like me.” She replied teasingly, causing Taylor’s eyes to flash that same something they had at the Whales game but that she didn’t understand. 

“Yeah. I do.” He stated simply, kissing her head again before moving to throw on clothes of his own for snow play. 

Though Kelsey was visibly more bundled up than Taylor or any of his roommates she didn’t care and urged them to go out so that they could play in the snow. 

For over an hour they played in the snow, Kelsey making snow angels and roping them into making a snowman with her before it all dissolved into a massive snowball fight with quite a few other umass students joining in on the fun. By the time they headed inside, Kelsey’s hands were numb but she was smiling because that had been exactly the kind of fun she needed. 

Shoes were kicked off in the entry way onto a mat and then Kelsey followed Taylor back to his room to get out of the rest of the wet clothes. Thankfully her inner layers were still relatively dry but she was definitely feeling the cold and shivered as she hung a damp layer over his desk chair. 

“Holy fuck Taylor.” Kelsey murmured as her boyfriend’s cold hands slid around her waist under the edge of her shirt. 

“We should get you out of these clothes too, just to be safe.” He murmured, voice deep and signaling his real interest. 

“Oh so now you want sex.” Kelsey teased as she shivered again. 

“I can’t think of a better way to warm us both up.” He rasped, nipping softly at her neck. 

“Such a boy.” Kelsey mumbled sliding a hand up behind her to tangle in Taylor’s hair as he marked up her neck. 

“Is that a yes?” He mumbled against her skin. 

“When have I ever turned down sex with you Taylor?” 

Kelsey felt him shrug and giggled. 

“Well? Are you going to get me naked or not?” She prompted, only to softly squeal as Taylor quickly pulled her clothes off her body with deft hands before lifting her up onto his bed. 

His clothes were quick to follow and he grabbed a condom from the bedside drawer before leveraging himself up into bed, hovering over her. Immediately she pulled him down for a dirty kiss, her hands resuming their position in his hair. With his body settled over hers, Kelsey groaned, welcoming his weight and the way he grew hard against her stomach showing that unlike this morning he was as needy as she was. 

As they made out, Kelsey felt herself grow damp and she moaned softly into his mouth. “You ready?” He mumbled kissing along her shoulder to give her a chance to breathe and answer. 

“Yeah. Fuck me Tay.” 

With her consent, Taylor shifted to sheathe himself in the condom before parting her legs a little more to settle against her core. Adjusting himself for better alignment, Taylor slowly eased inside her, grunting softly at the tightness of her body around him before pausing to allow her to relax fully. 

Kelsey couldn’t help but gasp at the fullness. Though she should be used to it by now, the way Taylor fit inside her always took her breath away. Even without the added emotional connection that was growing stronger everyday, sex with Taylor was physically the best sex she's ever had, no comparison. 

Wiggling slightly she felt him slide just that little bit deeper and though she tried to keep the moan quiet she didn’t succeed triggering a banging on the adjoining wall. 

“YO T.” Mercs voice called through the wall. “Don’t particularly care if you want to fuck your girl but can you keep it down, some of us are trying to take a nap.” 

“Oh god.” Kelsey mumbled burying her head against Taylor’s shoulder. She knew that the roommates had probably heard her before but they hadn’t called them out on it directly like that. 

But Taylor didn’t let her dwell on it, completely ignoring his roommate as he focused on setting a steady pace with his thrusts, mouth seeking hers to muffle her moans and whimpers. 

“Take me so well.” He mumbled against her lips as he ground his hips into hers between thrusts. Digging her nails along his shoulders, Kelsey drew her legs up farther along Taylor’s side to deepen the angle he was able to thrust at. Kissing her, Taylor took advantage of it, burying himself inside of her even deeper on every instroke. It made Kelsey whimper into the kiss but looking at her and the pleasure on her face Taylor knew it was a good whimper, one that was seeking more. 

“Fuck, you love feeling me as deep inside you as you can get don’t you.” He praised while taking huffing breaths as his groin tightened with an impending orgasm. 

“T. Please.” Kelsey whispered. 

“I got you.” Taylor assured her while pulling out. “Put your legs up over my shoulders.” 

With the adjustment in position settled, Taylor pushed back inside her until his pelvis met hers, settling him as deep inside her as possible. 

“Oh.” She gasped out as softly as she could manage, trying to keep quiet. 

“Yeah? Feel good?” Taylor questioned, needing to be sure that it wasn’t too deep before he resumed any sort of rhythm. 

“Taylor…” Kelsey breathed, because this was exactly what she needed. 

As Taylor resumed his thrusts, Kelsey’s head fell back and her body arched in pleasure. Feeling him this deep was incredible and it wasn’t going to take long for her to cum with him hitting all the right spots. 

Taylor was already holding back his orgasm to make Kelsey cum just focusing on the way her body shook as he fucked her deeply. She was a literal goddess under him. 

Sliding a palm under her head, Taylor tipped her face back toward his and kissed her to quiet her noises as he felt her twitch around him signaling that her orgasm was going to hit hard in a matter of moments. Thrusting even harder to hit those deep spots with a bit more pressure, Taylor felt her body snap and she screamed into his mouth as her body clamped around him like a vice, dragging his own orgasm out of him as she milked him endlessly. 

Though his body felt limp, Taylor kissed Kelsey’s cheek before pulling out to dispose of the full condom. As he got up he gently helped her lower her legs back to the mattress. She was flushed all over and Taylor felt another pang of arousal as he looked at her sprawled across his bed looking thoroughly fucked. 

“Need help getting to the bathroom?” He asked softly, leaning over the bed to kiss her sweaty forehead. 

“Think you could get it up for a round two?” She replied, her voice soft and crackly from her previous pleasure. Even if he wasn’t initially sure, the way his dick had twitched at the suggestion made the decision obvious and he nodded. 

“Yeah, just need a few minutes.” 

“Good then come here.” She called, shifting onto her side to make room for him on the bed. Holding her close they kissed languidly, Taylor’s fingers plucking softly at her nipples to keep her arousal up while he rebounded. 

Every time she thought the sex couldn’t get better, Taylor would go and find some new way to drive her wild. 

After about fifteen minutes of kissing, Kelsey felt Taylor start to stiffen between them and she smirked against his lips. 

“Can I be on top?” She questioned, trailing fingers down his arms. 

“Sure Kels.” Taylor breathed, turning to reach for a condom before settling on the mattress so she could straddle him. Taking the foil package from him, Kelsey carefully tore it open before rolling it onto him and then settling over him, lowering herself onto his dick slowly. 

Feeling a little achy, there was no way she was going to be able to take him as deeply as last time but after finding a comfortable level of penetration she rolled her hips over him in a manner she knew he liked. With both of them having previous orgasms which increased the sensitivity, Kelsey knew it wasn’t going to take long for either of them. 

With Taylor continuing his exploration of her nipples, working them over with his tongue and lips, Kelsey threw a hand over her mouth to quiet herself as first one wave of pleasure rolled through her followed by a second and third which brought her orgasm on in full force. As her body started coming down, Taylor’s hips jolted against her and his mouth bit another mark into the skin of her clavicle, his own orgasm causing him to pulse inside her. 

Fully sated and knowing that she was going to feel their activities for at least a day or two, Kelsey carefully lifted off Taylor and collapsed next to him on the bed just needing a few moments before she cleaned up and redressed to use the bathroom. 

“Think this might be the greatest snow day ever.” Taylor mumbled as he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head. 

“Yeah, no complaints.” Kelsey agreed, yawning. 

While Kelsey was still working up the strength to get up, there was a knock on Taylor’s door. 

“Dude please tell us you’re done in there. We’re gonna play some COD before practice and your presence is required.” Mercs insisted. 

Taylor’s groan made Kelsey laugh and she kissed his lips softly. 

“Go play with them. I should go home anyway before my roommates think I’m dead.” Taylor hesitated for a moment before sighing. 

“Fine. But let me go clear and warm up your car for you while you put yourself together.” 

Kelsey wasn’t going to argue that and nodded as he slipped out of bed and tossed the condom before throwing on some clothes and grabbing her keys. 

By the time she had cleaned up, thrown clothes on, packed up her overnight bag, and stripped Taylor’s bedding, putting the spare sheets set on, her phone was buzzing with a text from Taylor telling her that her chariot awaited. 

Replying that she would be right down, she moved to put her coat on and headed out to the entryway to throw on her shoes. 

“Kelsey. Catch.” Mikey’s voice called from the kitchen and when she looked up it was just in time to catch a protein bar he was tossing her way. 

“Since Taylor was too busy to feed you lunch and I’m pretty sure you need it.” The smirk on his face told her that he had also witnessed their activities and Kelsey’s cheeks flushed scarlet again. 

Shrugging, she waved the bar in thanks and gathered her things before heading outside to meet Taylor at her car, eating on the way.

After loading her bags up she let Taylor pull her into a hug, stealing a few more kisses. 

“Thanks for cleaning my car off. You’re the best.” She murmured, her thumbs brushing against his cheeks. 

“Thanks for spending the snow day with me.” He replied, squeezing her tight. 

“Anytime. I’ll text you when I get home.” 

With Taylor’s phone buzzing, likely with a text from the roommates telling him to hurry his ass up, he reluctantly released her and moved to open her door for her. 

“Bye Kels.” 

Blowing a kiss to him through the window, Kelsey proceeded back to her apartment where her roommates were all bundled up on the couch watching a rom com. 

“Pour yourself a glass of wine and come join us.” One declared. 

“Yeah and dish. How many times did you get fucked today? Damn girl, he got you good.” Another exclaimed, noticing the slight limp Kelsey walked with and the darkening bruise on her neck. 

Rolling her eyes, Kelsey dropped her bags into her room before grabbing that glass of wine and making them make room for her on the couch. 

She’d dish…but just a little. The rest was between her and Taylor.

[chaosworthy]

It was an uneasy sleep Mina found herself in that night. Due in part to the empty space next to her in bed and lingering concerns towards her husband. He had been acting strange lately, and that was putting it mildly. She knew it was only due to the magic that was influencing him, but she couldn't shake the feeling that things were coming to a head. 

Something she was convinced of that evening when she had caught him sitting in pitch darkness, actually reading. With no problem whatsoever. She had tried for a conversation then and there but he had brushed it off as nothing. She had convinced herself that they could talk about it in the morning after she had gotten rest and had a clearer head. 

Sleep hadn't come easy, but it had overtaken the mongoose before too long. At least for a few hours. 

She couldn't say what exactly it was that woke her up but she knew she was aware despite still fighting to fall asleep again, eyes closed but mind racing. Something wasn’t right. She felt uneasy but the room, the house really, was quiet. She had half convinced herself it was nothing and doubled down on her efforts to fall back asleep, but it wouldn’t come. And a moment later she knew why…

She felt herself shift, a weight on the bed in front of her, and opened her eyes. There was a scarce amount of light leaking in from the window, but it was enough for her to make out the amber eyes, contorted features and dark claws in front of her face, just inches away.

She had lashed out before her mind could fully process what was going on, one leg shooting out with a signature speed. And it made contact. She could almost feel something give away before the mix of adrenaline and pure worry had worn off just enough for her to realize what had happened and jump from the bed. She hurried to the opposite wall, to the clearly winded form of her partner slumped against the wall.

"Sonic?" She was too bewildered to hide the shock in her voice, but knelt at his side all the same, hands reaching out but unsure of what to do. Her only relief was that he seemed relatively fine, and that he looked normal again. As normal as he had the past few weeks anyway. She knew she hadn’t imagined it, that what she had seen hadn’t been some trick of the light. But worry took over again when he grasped his head with one hand, shaking it with fervor.

"S-sorry…I didn't mean t'..." His voice was quiet, but teeming with something she could only place as dread. Desperation met her eyes when he looked at her, an entire conversation there in the span of a few seconds before he stared at the ground. "I didn't know what else t' do…"

"Sonic…" Out of habit the mongoose had gone to cup a tan cheek, only to have the hedgehog pull away rather abruptly which told her more than he might have realized. He looked awful, and not just because of his current vexation. The hero looked almost feverish, distressed even and his pupils were constricted. That latter part gave it all away, and as realization washed over the singer she felt a small wave of panic.

But she knew what to do. "Wait here, okay?"

She didn’t give him time to ask the obvious question before she was up, on her feet and out of their bedroom, leaving him alone in the dark room. What seemed like hours to the struggling hedgehog was only mere minutes, and soon the mongoose returned with what he had assumed to be a lunchbox. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her that regular food wasn’t going to cut it here, but he stopped when what she pulled out was anything but normal. The hero had been in and out of hospitals for most of his life, so he could recognize an official blood bag when he saw it.

Which lead to another question entirely. "Where…?"

"I'll explain later." She cut him off, the why wasn’t important right now. She knew it, and she knew that he did too when he didn’t fight her handing the bag to him. It sat in scarred hands, the very cumulation of everything the hero hadn’t wanted right before him. Mina watched as the gears turned in his head, a losing debate dawning over his face. She didn’t envy him, she couldn’t lie, but never did she think she would feel…relief when he looked at her next. 

It wasn’t a defeat, but a reassurance. For as much as he hated this, the hero had made a promise. If this was what it took to keep her, and their daughter, safe. So be it.

It seemed so misplaced but Mina felt a swell of pride in her. Even if she knew what was coming. She didn't have to watch but a part of her felt compelled to. Not for the reassurance but…morbid curiosity. 

So she watched as the claw on the hero’s thumb punctured the bag and that was all it took. Even in the dark of the room Mina could see something in him shift, the way his body had gone nearly rigid before those fangs bared. And that was it. Tan lips had met the flow, and didn’t stop until the bag had nothing left to give. It was feral, twisted, and messy, but over within minutes. Only when the sound of the hero’s drinking stopped and the silence came back did Mina move. 

This time she was able to rest a palm against his cheek, while kicking herself for not thinking to bring a napkin or something for the aftermath. It wasn’t the first time she had seen him covered in blood but, Chaos, did she hope it was the last. "How do you feel…?"

It took longer than she expected for an answer, almost as if the hero had to gain back his bearings before looking at her, the ravaged bag in his hand, and back with a frown. "Gross…"

That made her smile, not a full one but still somewhat humored as she ran the same hand through his quills. Thankful when she felt her partner lean into it. All in all, things could have been worse. But they were both glad it was over and, despite the mess, the singer brought their foreheads together. 

“Thank you for telling me. Or...trying to.” She made sure he heard the earnestness in her voice. It may not have been perfect, but he had kept his promise and that meant the world to her. Enough that she could nudge him with a relatively playful tone. “Just don’t do the creepy face and eyes thing next time, okay? I don’t want to hurt you again.”

He blinked, utterly confused, but still nodded. Even managed to return the humor a little. Anything to take away from the last few minutes as he made a show of rubbing his abdomen. “For the record…you still have a hell of a kick.”

That made the singer laugh, and it was a wonderful sound to the hero. The couple would stay like that for a few minutes longer before the hero excused himself to clean up, but even then all it took was once glance from the mongoose to ensure that he was right back by her side, in bed. For the rest of the night.

[thecollectionsof]

Watching old Rock M Videos and feeling soft for Sakuradoll. Do you have any hcs for them? I picture them as chaotic college students in love … and they were roommates

i was just watching rock reviewing gigi x christian audette collection today!! of course i can do that for ya, and i love a prompt <3

this one got a bit long, oops. sorry to keep you waiting, love!!

nicky thought that she got through freshman year alright, but sophomore year went a bit worse (better? she couldn't tell) when it came to living with her roommate. nothing against rock, not at all—on the contrary, rock was too good to live with, and it was starting to scare her.

freshman year was nervous, but they settled into a routine quickly. neither had overloaded their schedules, so they spent the first semester getting familiar with the campus, the dorm, and each other. they quickly became friends, then best friends. they were the roommate success story—someone you lived with well but also loved to have around outside of the dorm. at points, they would spend every hour together that they weren't in class, and at other times they would be too busy branching out to other friends but reveling in having someone to come home to after all was said and done. it was comfortable. it was nice.

but then she caught feelings sometime in the summer between freshman and sophomore year. at some point during their discord gaming sessions or anime binges, she noticed that she spent less time thinking about her "good friend rock" and more time thinking about her "beautiful roommate who looked so good when she was laughing"

sophomore year was harder with a crush. harder classes meant that she spent more time studying, and rock always had a project open on her tablet, working on something or other for her classes. they still went out and had fun, but they'd spend more nights in, music playing in the background and studying until they got distracted and started talking to each other.

nicky had to (got to) tuck rock into bed a few times, after a long night where she'd fall asleep over her tablet, or when she'd overindulge when drinking with friends. she'd always kiss the crown of her head, hoping that rock was too out of it to fully notice how much she loved doing it. rock seemed to lean into it every time, and nicky would always come away from it feeling too jittery and full of thoughts to go to sleep right away

but they were still just good friends, right? rock would tuck her in sometimes, too, or kiss her forehead when she was comforting nicky when she was crying for any reason. they were just friends who did that every once in a while. that was normal. (or so she tried to convince herself)

but now they're in junior year, and they have an off campus apartment. now, rock gets to try all of the cool looking recipes she finds on tiktok, always making enough for two. now, they get to connect their switches to the tv and tell each other to take out the trash on the way out the door and decorate more than the small dorm together. and nicky wants to be dating her so, so bad.

she wants to date her when she's asleep on the couch, her mouth slightly parted and her phone still on in her hand. she wants to date her when she stumbles over her feet in the morning and wakes her up, and when she goes silent right after she does so to see if she woke nicky up (she always does, but she still walks on her toes until nicky starts making noise as she's getting up for the day)

and she wants to date her at times like this, when rock gets frustrated at two characters, two close friends, not dating in a show they're watching together. she leans over and kisses nicky's shoulder, then goes back to complaining about how they need to just kiss.

nicky leans over, grabs her face, and kisses her fully on the lips. she kisses back, and when they pull apart all she can say is "finally."

[pumpkin-spice-whump]

Reap the Harvest - Part 1

Oh boy a new series! I thought of it like three days ago and it took over my brain.

Thanks to @quietly-by-myself for helping me with research! (i didn't ignore your advice i swear i just needed this scene out of my brain) Also I know next to nothing about medical things so for the majority of this... just suspend your disbelief.

CWs: hospital setting, noncon surgery, amputation, gore, awake during surgery, treating people like property

Masterlist

-----------------------------------

Colin bounced his leg, hands shaking ever so slightly in his lap. He moved them to his sides and clutched the edges of the chair, shivering in the thin hospital gown. The waiting room was always needlessly and annoyingly cold. It usually didn’t bother him, but he was particularly nervous about this procedure.

It was his first time having an arm harvested.

Colin had donated skin, fingers, toes, blood, and bone marrow, but never an entire limb. Well, it was just going to be from the elbow down but still. He was nervous. No, he thought, nervous was too casual of a word. It was stupid but well... He was scared. He was scared like he was the first time getting his blood donated. When donating blood, they would take nearly half of its volume in your body, since it was not exactly needed for his peoples' survival. Still, the next few hours would be spent cold and delirious until their bodies could replenish it. The mere thought had terrified him as a kid, and now it felt totally normal, although a little inconvenient. He would eventually feel the same way about this.

But he couldn't help the fear he felt. Regenerating from having entire limbs taken wasn't as fast as replenishing blood, it could take days -- up to a week! -- and Colin didn’t want to spend that long helpless and in pain.

To his utter embarrassment, he felt tears pricking at his eyes, but he forced them down, glancing at the camera in the corner of the room. He would not show that he was scared, even though he undeniably was. He had enough pride to at least keep it to himself.

When Colin first heard that he was assigned to donate a limb that month he'd done his best to look brave, maybe even confident. He was eighteen years old, and he'd been assigned to have a limb harvested. He was a real adult now, and real adults didn't care about their assignments. They just went through the motions and did their duty.

His parents could tell he was scared, though. Rayleigh and Daniel had sat him down countless times over the month, trying to comfort him and convince him that it really wasn't as bad as he thought. They said that it would hurt, yes, but he would heal and be given time before another big one came his way. It wasn’t the end of the world. He'd regenerate quickly and be okay.

Bridger told him that it would hurt like hell and he’d never be the same again. Their dad had slapped him upside the head and told him to stop being a jerk. But he didn’t deny it.

That scared Colin even more.

It wasn’t so much the thought of the surgery itself as it was the promise of oncoming pain. Anesthesia and painkillers would dull his body's healing properties, so he'd have to go into surgery fully aware and alert. It hurt when his skin was peeled away and fingers were taken, but it was bearable. But his arm? The bones they’d have to break and cut through? That made his stomach cramp up.

And then there was the weirdness of knowing that a large part of him would just be… gone. For days, until a new one grew back. He’d be vulnerable and incomplete and the thought made him more uncomfortable than he cared to admit. 

He had hardly slept at all last night, which was only going to make it worse, but the anticipation of the unknown and large procedure, coupled with not being allowed to eat for hours, made him too sick to sleep. Rayleigh had crawled into bed with him and rubbed his back, reassuring his fears, until he managed to doze off in the early hours of the morning. Bridger woke up at some point in the night and made fun of Colin for needing that, but for once he'd just ignored him. Maybe it was childish, but his mother's presence always helped him feel calm.

After just a couple restless hours, Rayleigh woke him. She and Daniel walked Colin down to the clinic just a few hallways away from the family dorms, leaving with a few words of encouragement and promises to be right there in the recovery room to take him home when the procedure was over. Colin nodded wordlessly, giving a weak smile to his parents before the door was shut.

He'd changed into a gown and had a quick physical by a nurse (the psych eval had been done a few days prior) before having the barcode on the back of his neck scanned and being left in the waiting room... Where he was still waiting at least an hour later, trying to stop his heart from jumping up his throat.

At this point he was hoping that Dr. Malsom would show up and they could just get the whole thing over with.

As if he could read his thoughts, Nurse Blakely appeared at the door. “Colin Sharpe?” he asked, like Colin wasn’t the only person in the room.

He wiped his sweaty hands on his gown and stood up, clearing his throat. “Yes, sir,” he said. His voice trembled.

The nurse motioned for Colin to follow him out the door. His legs felt like jello, but he couldn’t tell if it was from the fear or lack of food. Probably both.

He’d walked this hallway countless times over the past five years, but today it seemed impossibly long and imposing, like it did the first time he’d ever walked it. Then he was only thirteen, nervous but proud to finally be able to do his duty. Parents are encouraged to walk back their children the first couple of times, and he held tightly to Daniel’s arm, trying to put on a brave face but also seconds away from bolting in the other direction.

He almost laughed thinking about how he hadn't really changed.

Blakely opened the doors to one of the many operating rooms at Rockmire Hills, holding it open for Colin before he followed, locking the door. Dr. Malsom stood next to the operating table, conversing lightly with Nurse Kelley. They looked over at Colin and waved him inside, gesturing for him to sit on the operating table. A cart of instruments stood off to his left, but he pointedly avoided looking at it as he lay down.

“How are we feeling, Mr. Sharpe?” Dr. Malsom asked easily.

Colin took a deep breath before answering. “I’m fine,” he lied. His voice was still weak. Probably weaker.

Dr. Malsom and the nurses pulled on masks and caps. “You're okay,” he assured, the nurses strapping Colin down.

He had always hated being strapped down, and this time they did more than normal. Instead of just buckling in his arms, legs, and hips, they also strapped down his head and chest. It was not reassuring. Colin’s heart pumped faster, his breaths coming shorter. He tried to do the breathing techniques he’d been taught years ago, but his anxiety hardly allowed for that.

You're being dramatic, he told himself. Acknowledging it didn't stop it.

His left arm was stretched out and held down separately from the rest of him on a part of the table that swung out and away, a metal tub placed below to catch the blood. Nothing could be wasted after all. Too valuable. Tools were being prepared off to the side, a heart monitor and IV line connected to him. It picked up his too-fast heart rate immediately, alerting the room to his cowardice.

Dr. Malsom stared at the monitor for a long minute before turning to Colin. “Nervous, Mr. Sharpe?” Colin nodded, embarrassed. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. This is very standard, everyone in your family goes through this multiple times a year.”

Colin cleared his throat, red creeping into his cheeks. “I know. It’s just my first time for… for a big one.”

“I’m well aware. But it really goes by quickly, and we can put you out afterwards. Just breathe. You’ll be okay.”

Blakely put the bitted oxygen mask over his mouth, silencing him and forcing him to breathe through his nose. Hopefully it would help him focus.

Dr. Malsom continued speaking as he turned on the radio, country music filtering through, and applied the tourniquet just below his elbow. “Your brother was scared for his first big harvest, too. Don’t tell him I told you, I swore to never speak of it, but he was crying even before he got on the table.”

Despite himself, Colin smiled around the bit in his mouth. His left hand uncurled as he lost feeling in the arm, blood supply cut off for ease of the procedure.

“We took a few minutes to calm him, talked out the procedure and the healing process after. I’m assuming you’ve already been told all about it?” Colin nodded as much as he could with the strap on his head. “Good. We can still take a few minutes if you need them. It really does go by quickly. I’m a professional, I don't make it hurt more than it needs to. I promise.” The scalpel glinted in the bright lights above him. “Ready?” he asked.

No, Colin thought. He nodded.

“Creating first incision,” the doctor said clinically, now all business and speaking to the nurses.

Colin averted his eyes, staring straight ahead and into the light. It burned his eyes, but it didn't matter, he would heal just like he did from everything. He bit down on the gag as the blade cut cleanly through his skin, taking big, exaggerated breaths through his nose.

I’m okay. I can do this.

He keened thinly as the cut went around, blood dripping steadily into the bin. He didn’t look as his skin was pushed back, exposing muscle and bone, but he knew it was happening. It had all been explained to him, time and time again. He knew the steps to the procedure just as well as the doctor and nurses performing it, and he’d suffered through cuts similar to this. At some point he eventually got used to the feeling of the razor sharp steel splitting his skin.

And then came the part he wasn’t quite used to.

Blakely cauterized the blood vessels, putting a slow halt to the dripping below him. Colin winced at the feeling, biting harder on the bit. Another whine escaped him.

“Doing okay?” Dr. Malsom asked. Colin nodded, closing his eyes. White spots from the light danced behind his eyelids. “Relax. We can pause if you need us to, but we should be getting this done as fast as possible. Do you want to keep going?”

“Mm-hmm,” Colin managed through the mask. He could feel the rest of his body trembling, could hear his heart rate picking up.

I have to do this.

Dr. Malsom spoke again but Colin didn't bother paying attention. He didn’t want to know what was happening anymore, he just wanted it to be done. He wanted to be put to sleep and wake up in bed and have the recovery process underway, he wanted it to be over and he didn't particularly care that that was childish. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter as the blade cut into muscle, arm spasming as the incision was cauterized just as fast as it was made.

Colin screamed, back arching slightly, heart monitor speeding up. He jerked in his restraints trying to get away.

Nurse Kelley put her hand on his head, petting back the hair that was already stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Do you need us to stop?” she asked.

Colin shook his head no, forcing himself to just breathe. If he stopped then it would just take that much longer. They were probably (hopefully) already mostly done, not having to take the slow precautions necessary for regular people to go through surgery. Just the rest of the muscle, the bone, and then they could put him to sleep. Just two more things. He could get through it.

I’m saving lives.

His ears began to ring as he screamed again, Kelley moving to hold him down instead of comfort him. Dr. Malsom just kept cutting and burning and cutting and burning and cutting and burning and it hurt so so bad make it stop make it stop make it stop

“Shhh,” Kelley whispered in his ear. “Shhhh, it’ll stop soon, just try to relax. Breathe.”

He’d been begging through the gag. Tears fell down his temples, slipping from his closed eyelids. He wished he could pass out.

At least I waited until the surgery started before crying, he thought with a ridiculous sense of triumph he didn't really feel.

The immediate burning pain stopped for a moment, and Colin allowed himself to relax a bit, opening his eyes and glancing over. He immediately regretted it.

His arm was ripped apart. A huge gash separated his elbow and forearm, muscle, fat and bone exposed to the open air, harsh light burning down where it was never supposed to. Colin gagged. Kelley gripped his head and turned him away, putting her hand over his eyes.

“Breathe through your nose. You’re okay. It’s almost over. Just breathe. Deep breaths for me, to the count of five, okay? Can you do it with me? Let’s try it. You’re okay. One…”

Colin squeezed his eyes shut tightly behind the woman’s hand, his pulse skyrocketing even as he took slow, measured breaths. Tears continued to fall, his chest stuttering with sobs. He really wished he could pass out. This was agony.

He couldn’t make out what Dr. Malsom and the other nurse were saying to each other, but he could hear a machine power on, buzzing filling the air. Now came the part he dreaded the absolute most. The bone saw.

I can do this. I have to do this. I’m saving lives.

This is all I’m good for.

Kelley never moved her hand from his eyes, shushing him and petting back his hair as he screamed louder and louder before, eventually, the bone was severed and all connection to his arm was gone. The relief he felt, despite the constant pain, was palpable.

She released him and he sobbed, eyes still screwed shut.

“You did well, Colin,” Dr. Malsom praised. He opened his eyes to see Blakely taking his arm away, putting it in a cold chest where it would be shipped to some poor sap who needed it more. “You did very well, I know it’s not easy. Do you want to sleep now?”

The smell in his mask changed, and Colin relaxed knowing he was going to be put to sleep. He nodded wearily, the strengthened anesthesia already working.

“Well done.”

This is all I’m good for.

[luminnara]

It’s Been a Long, Long Time | Ch 6

Summary:  When HYDRA had their prized asset, the Winter Soldier, they did something no one ever thought was possible: they gave super soldier serum to an omega. With the sole purpose of tending to him during his ruts, she spends decades living in HYDRA facilities, denied her humanity and her life. Now, years later, Bucky Barnes has his mind and his own life back...and the last thing he ever expects is to see a familiar omega again. Bucky/OC, a little angsty but mostly smutty/fluffy/romantic!

Part One | ... | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven

Tags:  @kyrah-williams @oceanmermaidwitch @shawnie--jo @super-cape @ferxaniti @namjoonwatcheshentai @fandomsstolemylife00 @youngblood199456 @nightlygiggless @darlingely @ bluemoon-icecream @kaz11283 @jenjen8675309 @dollfacev8 @witchinpractice @mystical-b3ar @sukeraa

Bucky refused to leave the omega’s side while she stayed in the lab. Bruce had to stop him from trying to crawl onto the bed with her, and after about the third time, he convinced the super soldier to just pull up a chair like a civilized person and hold her hand while she drifted off to sleep again. Now that she was with her alpha, she had settled down for another nap, more interested in resting than answering any more questions so long as Bucky stayed and kept an eye on her. 

Steve had to admit, it was endearing. He had never seen his friend so absolutely enraptured like this. Whenever the omega, or Ten, as Bruce was still calling her, shifted in her sleep, Bucky’s eyes were snapping over to make sure that she was okay. Whenever she let out a little whimper, he was purring and stroking her hair. Whenever she seemed like she might wake up again, his attention was completely on her.

“So...sure you don’t remember her?” Steve asked, pulling up a chair. He had left for a few hours to work out, and after a lack of updates from FRIDAY, he headed back down to check on everything. They were exactly as he had left them, which was a good sign. At least nothing was getting out of hand. 

Yet.

Bucky shrugged, rubbing the back of the omega’s hand with his thumb. “I dunno. It’s...foggy.”

“Well, it seems to me like you’ve either got a history together, or she’s mistaking you for someone else.” Steve said. “Quite frankly, it’s hard to do the latter.”

“I’ve dreamt of her.” Bucky said quietly. 

“...what?”

“It’s not much, but...I’ve seen her face.” Bucky looked down at her. “I think that no matter how many times HYDRA wiped my memory, she’s always been in there. Kinda like the one constant that was always around, the one thing I could always count on being in the base with me.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Steve asked.

“Never knew if she was real or not.” Bucky sighed. “I thought...maybe she was just something my mind made up to fill some of the gaps. But she smells exactly like I remember.”

Steve sat back in his chair, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched his friend. Bucky wasn’t snarling anymore, most of his attention trained on the omega while she slept. Now that he was close to her, he had calmed down significantly, though he still wouldn’t let Steve within five feet of her bed. 

“Just got off the phone with Tony,” Bruce announced, walking in. “He and Pepper will be back tonight. Pepper’s having some clothes and personal items delivered for our new omega friend here. They also asked about renovating a more permanent room for her, but I, uh...told them I wasn’t exactly sure what the situation would be.”

“She’s staying with me,” Bucky said immediately. 

“Now hang on, hang on,” Steve leaned forward. 

“Steve,” Bucky growled. “I want her with me.”

“Buck, you don’t even know her—“

Bucky interrupted him with a loud snarl, the omega in question whining and squirming in her sleep at the sound of it. 

He immediately shut up, brushing a thumb over her cheek and shushing her until she was sleeping soundly again. Fuck, he felt so stupid. What was wrong with him? She could have woken up, or been scared, or upset, all because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. She needed her rest, and he needed to stay quiet. 

Steve almost couldn’t believe what he was seeing. 

“Oh, Buck,” he shook his head. “You’re in deep.”

—

Amoretta woke feeling well rested, and it wasn’t until she tried to stretch and felt the tug of her IV drip that she remembered where she was. Opening her eyes revealed the bright lights of the lab, and as she started to sit up, a few faces came into view.

“Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty,” Bruce said. “How are you feelin’?”

She licked her lips. “Juice box. Now.”

“Way ahead of you. Had this one waiting as soon as you started waking up.” He tossed one to her and was pleased when her hand shot up to catch it. “Reflexes look good. Vitals are all reading normal. I’ll have to run another test to see what’s going on with those suppressants, but I’m willing to bet you’re metabolizing them fairly quickly now. How are you feeling?”

She pulled the little straw off the back of the carton and jammed it into the top. “Nauseous. Like usual.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Side effect of the suppressants?”

“Always has been. Other than that...I feel great, actually.”

“Well, as soon as these wear off, we can figure out something nicer and more modern for you. If you want to use them, I mean.” Bruce shrugged. “Your choice.”

She smiled. “Choice. I like that.”

“Hey, we’re all about independence here,” Steve said happily. He was glad to see she was awake, even though Bucky wasn’t.

The other alpha was still at her side, but, as of about half an hour ago, he was napping. Steve made a mental note to never let him forget the way he slept straight through the one moment he had been waiting for all day. 

“What time is it?” She asked. “There’s no windows in this damn place.”

“Just after dinner,” Bruce chuckled. “You slept most of the day. Bucky hasn’t left your side.”

She looked over to her soldier, smiling warmly at the sight of him sleeping. He was even snoring softly. “I haven’t gotten to see this in forty years.”

“Did you two, uh…” Steve cleared his throat. “Spend a lot of time together?”

The omega laughed. “You always this awkward around girls?”

“That’s not—“

“Relax, I’m just giving you a hard time.” She sucked on her straw. “But...yeah, we did.”

“So...you were just kept for his ruts, or…” Steve was so awkward it was almost endearing. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I think.”

“It’s okay. I know my lot in life.” She kept her eyes trained on Bucky as she spoke. “But if I’m going to answer more questions, I want to get out of this bed. And I want real clothes. Then I’ll talk.”

And so, only several minutes later, Bruce was handing her a sweater and some shorts he had grabbed from a little stash of extra clothing, and Bucky was startled awake by Ten stepping past him. She was finally free from all the tubes and cords that had been sticking out of her during her little hospital stay, and she was all too eager now to explore the tower.

She stood on wobbly legs, almost falling onto him when she tried to take a step. Bucky was up in a flash, ready to catch her, and as she fell against his chest, he wrapped his arms around her. Despite just waking up, he felt fully alert, completely ready to tend to his omega’s every need. 

His omega...he liked that train of thought. 

“We can head up to the common area. It should still be quiet.” Steve said, leading the way out. 

Bucky kept an arm around his omega’s waist as they followed, Bruce bringing up the rear. He wanted to be touching her at all times, constantly in contact so that he couldn’t lose track of her. His instincts were roaring to life, demanding that he do everything in his power to make sure that she was safe and in his line of sight. The elevator ride was tense and full of possessive growling, Bucky constantly shoving Ten behind him to keep her in the corner and as far away from Steve as possible, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief when the doors slid open and they could step out of the cramped space again. 

The common area was empty, thankfully, FRIDAY informing them that the other Avengers were all either working out or in their private quarters. 

“Good,” Steve said, heading towards the couches. “No interruptions. Got it, FRIDAY?”

“Understood, Captain Rogers.”

“C’mere,” Bucky mumbled, pulling his omega down to sit on one of the couches with him. Part of him was feeling a little sheepish and self conscious of his behavior...but the rest of him didn’t give a shit. The others could stare and shake their heads all they wanted, but he’d be damned if he let Ten slip through his fingers again. 

Or whatever her name was. 

Steve and Bruce sat across from them, making sure that they left as much space as possible between themselves and the new omega. Neither of them had ever seen Bucky behaving quite like this--he was on guard, hyper aware of everything around him. He made sure that she was pressed up against his side, an arm draped possessively over the back of the couch so that it was unmistakable that she was with him.

Christ, what had gotten into him? He couldn’t remember ever acting this way about an omega before. 

“So…” Steve cleared his throat, sitting with his elbows resting on his knees.

Bucky didn’t really like the way his posture made him lean forward towards his omega, but he could deal with it for now. “So.”

“What do you wanna know?” Ten asked, plucking at Bucky’s shirt. She seemed to be even clingier with him than he was with her, perfectly happy to be hanging off him or tucked up against his side. “You met my demands. I guess I’m an open book now.”

“I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Steve said. “We just need to know as much as you’re willing to share.”

“Then ask a question.”

“...Alright.” he cleared his throat again. “You said HYDRA used you to help with Bucky’s ruts?”

Ten nodded, her expression remaining even and cool. 

“Could you tell us more about that?” Steve glanced at Bucky. “Were there ever any other omegas, or anyone we should know about?”

“There were omegas before me.” she answered. “When I first got to the compound, there were a lot of us. They kept us all in big cells, so everyone talked. People said things about how HYDRA was grabbing omegas off the street for their super soldiers, and how the one at our base was the biggest and scariest.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at her tone. He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected her to sound like while she regaled them with her life story, but he definitely thought there would be a tad bit more apprehension in her voice. She seemed proud of herself, and more matter-of-fact than a lot of omegas would be while talking about their alpha’s previous partners. Or...whatever you called prisoners whose only purpose was to help during ruts.

“And I bet he was,” she sighed, leaning her cheek on Bucky’s chest and looking up at him adoringly. 

“Well, I don’t know about that…” Bucky said, an almost shy smile on his lips. And...was he actually blushing?

Steve was going to lose his mind. 

“You said the other omegas couldn’t handle it? That’s why you were given the serum?” he prompted, trying to keep them on track before he drowned in the sticky sweetness of her happy pheromones. 

“Right.” she turned her attention back to Steve and Bucky let out a quiet huff. “HYDRA didn’t really like to take care of us. And the soldier--I mean, Bucky--would wear them out. So...HYDRA would just kind of let them go. Or put them down, maybe. I never saw it.”

Bucky’s expression dropped. His blush was gone, and he almost looked like he was going to be sick as he listened to her talk.

“But it wasn’t his fault,” she said quickly, glancing between him and Steve. “I don’t think it was ever on purpose, you were just...demanding.”

He gave a groan, leaning his head back against the couch. “You don’t have to sugarcoat it, doll. I’d rather know what I did, at this point.”

She offered a small shrug. “I don’t really remember it being that bad, but I don’t think I ever met you before they gave me the serum.”

“That’s something, at least.” he mumbled, dragging a hand down his face. 

“Why you?” Steve asked. “Did you have any prior military experience, any ties to something the others didn’t?”

“No.” she laughed. “I never even got in fights before HYDRA.”

“Then why’d they use such an important resource on you, specifically? Not trying to take a dig at you, it’s just...well, omegas don’t usually…”

“I know,” she said. “Omegas aren’t supposed to be tough, right? That’s why they only ever let alphas become super soldiers.”

“That’s not what I…” Steve trailed off and then sighed. “Sorry.”

“I told you, they gave me the serum so that I would be strong enough to hold my own. It also ensured I would always be around, no matter how many years passed.” Her fingers found Bucky’s free hand and she took it, absentmindedly playing with the smooth vibranium knuckles. “Having me as a constant meant they could stop spending so much time and effort on always having a new omega around for him. Plus…well, I wasn’t really there, but I heard something about it once…”

“What?” Bucky asked. 

“They let you choose who was going to become your omega.” She said, looking up at him. “They gave you a bunch of scents, and you chose mine. I guess it was the only reason they didn’t, uh...humanely euthanize me.”

His eyes were wide. The thought of HYDRA killing his omega brought a low growl to his throat, his chest rumbling with the vibrations of it. “No.”

“Well, clearly they didn’t!” She said brightly. “My file said I was a kicker.”

“So they gave you, an already aggressive omega, the serum, but never gave you any trigger words or fished around in your brain?” Bruce shook his head. “Surprisingly sloppy, considering who they are.”

“It’s not like they ever sent me out into the world. I stayed in my cell all day, unless I was needed for a rut. Then I went and stayed in a different cell.” She sighed. “And if they ever needed to, they could just use the alpha to grab me.”

Bucky clearly didn’t like the thought of that. He made a frustrated sound, leaning his head back again. “Great.”

“It was never bad.” She let go of his hand, moving her fingers to cup his jaw. “You never hurt me. You wouldn’t. Sometimes, when I acted up, they would make you go retrieve me, because they knew you were the only one who could do it. If they didn’t send you, they would just knock me out.”

“So...that was it?” Steve asked. “Ruts, serum, cryo?”

“For thirty years!” She chirped. “The last time they froze me, they were freezing him, too. They always tried to keep us in cryo at the same time so that I could be thawed out and ready when he needed me. But...I guess they just...left me there?” She frowned. 

“See, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.” Steve said. “I didn’t see any signs of a struggle at that base. I’d say they left in an orderly fashion, but the fact that they didn’t take you along makes me think they were in more of a hurry than they made it seem.”

“Natasha might have a better idea,” Bruce suggested. “We can talk to her, try to figure out—“

“FRIDAY, open the damn door or so help me God I will rewrite your entire personality.” A voice interrupted from the other side of the door. 

“I’m sorry, Tony, but Captain Rogers asked me not to.” The AI said. 

“Well, is it an emergency?” The man scoffed.

“No emergency measures have been executed. No security breaches have been identified.”

“Then I’m sorry, but Captain Rogers does not outrank me when it comes to my own robots. Open the door, beautiful.”

She seemed to sigh. “Very well, Mr. Stark.”

Ten perked up, leaning forward slightly. She was watching the door curiously, tilting her head a little when she heard it slide open. Bucky rolled his eyes, grumbling to himself quietly and pulling her up against his side as another alpha strode in. 

“Really? Having a party without me?” the man asked, a smooth, casual air about him as he walked in and looked at everyone on the couches. When his eyes landed on the omega cuddled up next to Bucky, he stopped. “Ah, is this our new guest?”

“Go away, Stark.” Bucky growled. He didn’t like how long the other man’s gaze was lingering on his omega, not when there weren’t any scars on her neck to show who she belonged to.

“Always such a charmer, Barnes.” Tony said, flopping down next to Steve. “Lovely to see you, too. Care to introduce me to your friend? ….No, you’d rather just snarl and forget your words? I knew you were old, but I didn’t realize you were actually a caveman.”

“Tony,” Bruce groaned. “Don’t aggravate him. Please.”

“Why not?” Tony leaned back against the cushions, completely at ease and totally happy to be pressing every one of Bucky’s buttons. 

“Are you Tony Stark?” Ten asked, wiggling out of Bucky’s grip to sit on the edge of their couch. 

Bucky caught her around the waist before she could get very far, though, and dragged her onto his lap. He loomed over her, sneering dangerously at Tony as the other alpha flashed a smile. 

“Bingo.” he said. 

“I never thought I’d meet a Stark,” she admitted. “I always heard about Stark Industries, but I lived too far away from any big cities to ever get to see any of his exhibitions.”

“Ah. You’re from my father’s time. Of course.” Tony shot a pointed glare in Bucky’s direction. “Seems like Bruce left out a few teensy weensy important details on the phone today.”

“Well, it’s been, uh...an ongoing learning experience.” Bruce said sheepishly. 

“Lots of developments, huh?” Tony raised an eyebrow. 

“You could say that.” Steve said under his breath. “We came up here so Ten could be more comfortable while we talk.”

“Oh yeah? What’re we talkin’ about?” Tony asked. 

“They were asking about my time with HYDRA,” she answered, cutting in before anyone else could. “And with...Bucky.”

Saying his name felt odd. Her tongue wasn’t used to it, and her mind wanted to call him alpha, or Winter Soldier. Bucky just seemed so…casual, such a strange thing to call a deadly super soldier. When she heard herself, though, she decided that she definitely didn’t hate it. 

Bucky’s heart gave a little leap at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He wanted her to say it over and over again, in whispers and in screams, for nobody else’s ears but his. 

“...Buck?” Steve asked, pulling him away from his thoughts. “You, uh, kinda zoned out there.”

It wasn’t until Bucky looked at Steve that he realized his eyes had been trained on the omega in his lap. “Yeah?”

“...Is this seriously how you’ve spent the past day and a half?” Tony asked. “Steve, I’m sorry, and I’m sure you’re just trying to be as helpful as you can be, like always, but I think you should let these two get a room.”

Steve looked at him incredulously. “Tony, really? I’m trying to get to the bottom of why exactly HYDRA would abandon the omega they pumped full of super soldier serum. They can get a room later—“

“Yeah, uh, wonder boy? I don’t think your pal is gonna last much longer before he tries to rip our heads off.” Tony nodded towards a very disgruntled Bucky. “You can resume your interrogation tomorrow, Cap.”

Steve looked to Bruce for help, but he only offered a small shrug and stood, heading towards the door. “He’s right, Steve. They deserve some alone time.”

“But—hey!” Steve protested as Bucky picked his omega up, striding past the two alphas sitting on the opposite couch. 

“Thanks for everything, Steve.” Bucky said over his shoulder. 

Ten squirmed, peeking around Bucky’s arm as she was carried away. “Bye, Mr. Stark!”

“Don’t look at him,” Bucky growled as they walked out the door. 

“Did his father really make hoverboards? I heard once that Howard was promising hoverboards—“

“No.” He said flatly. 

“...oh.” She huffed, slumping against him. “Where are we going?”

“My apartment.” Bucky stepped into the elevator, his grip still tight around her. 

The omega perked up. “You have a whole apartment?”

He puffed his chest out a little. “Course I do. Gotta have a nice place for you, don’t I?”

“So I can stay?” Her eyes were bright and happy. “I can stay there, with you, all the time? Not just when you rut?”

He felt a sad little pang in his heart. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft. “Of course, sweetheart.”

Then, his eyes widened as he realized what he was saying. “I mean, uh...i-if you want to, that is. I know it’s fast and all, and maybe...would you rather have your own room? Or I can stay on the couch—“

“Bucky,” she cut him off with a laugh, a soft hand cupping his jaw. “You’ve been my alpha for seventy years. I’d say we’re actually moving pretty slow.”

His expression relaxed again, lips stretching into a small smile. “Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

They spent the rest of the elevator ride in comfortable silence, Bucky rubbing his scent glands all over her hair. He wanted to make sure that the next time they encountered anyone else, she smelled exactly like him.

Like her alpha.

When the elevator came to a gentle stop at Bucky’s floor, the doors opened, and he stepped out in front of his apartment door. It opened for him, having already scanned his biometrics, revealing a small, but cozy, living room. 

He set his omega down on her feet, watching anxiously as she stepped into his quarters. Did she like it? Fuck, was it too small? It was too small. She probably hated it. Fuck, fuck, fuck...he had to salvage this somehow. 

“Well, uh…” shit, he sounded too nervous. He wanted her to think he was a strong, capable alpha. 

He cleared his throat for another start. “Welcome home, Omega.” 

Wait. That wasn’t right. Should he be calling her that? No, probably not, it sounded too possessive, too uncaring. He wished he just knew her fucking name, or something. 

“I mean…Ten?”

Shit, he sounded so stupid. He wanted to impress her, not...do whatever this was.

She just laughed, though, turning and looking at him with those eyes that sparkled like starlight. “Amoretta. My name is Amoretta.”

[seriouslysnape]

Miscommunication (pt.2)

James Potter x Remus Lupin x Sirius Black x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Language. Poly! relationship. 

A/N: Part 1 is here!

Word Count: 3,376

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

It had been three weeks since you had stormed out of the boys’ dorm in a scurry of anger. It had also been three weeks since you had touched, talked to, or even spared Sirius a passing glance. As far as you were concerned, he didn’t even exist. Despite your dramatic exit, Sirius was confident that you’d crack soon enough and come running back to him, begging for forgiveness. But the more time that passed, the more that he was beginning to realize that might not be the case.

In a general sense, life continued on as it always had. You walked through the Hogwarts’ corridors with the three Gryffindors, laughing at James’ jokes and blushing red under Remus’ kisses. You gave all your love and time to James and Remus, not offering Sirius a drop of your attention. 

He tried to ignore it. He tried to brush it off like it didn’t bother him and like it didn’t make a difference whether you were with him or not. His attempts to drown you out the way you had been drowning him out were successful at first, but it only took about a week for him to realize how much this was killing him.

In the mornings, you woke James or Remus up (depending on whose bed you slept in the night before) with bubbly kisses and sweet giggles, something that you had always done for all three of the boys’ wake up calls. Sirius had gone almost 23 days (but not like he was COUNTING or anything) since he had any kind of interaction with you.

No cuddles.

No hugs.

No kisses.

Nothing.

The whole situation put James and Remus into a bit of an awkward position. You were on great terms with the two of them, considering they hadn’t insulted you and invalidated your feelings right in your face. This was a difficult challenge to tackle, because they felt guilty for continuing to love up on you when Sirius wasn’t getting his usual share. This was a rather particular arrangement that had taken lots of trial and error to make the right adjustments. Now that the balance had been thrown off, the whole thing didn’t feel right.

James and Remus had both tried to convince you to talk things out with Sirius. They knew that deep down this wasn’t what you wanted, and things couldn’t go on like this forever. James and Remus knew Sirius better than anybody. They were fully aware that Sirius was regretting what he had done and was kicking himself for it...even if Sirius wouldn’t show it or admit to it. 

Sirius was beginning to lose precious sleep over this. He tossed and turned in his bed that had grown so lonely without you. His arms felt so empty not being wrapped around you, holding you snugly to his body. Suddenly, he didn’t have anyone to help him with his Potions homework or someone to remind him about his Transfiguration exam coming up. He didn’t have the girl that completed the complex puzzle that was Sirius Black. He felt so unfinished without you.

He missed you.

But his pride was winning out.

“How’s the brat today?” Sirius questioned dryly, not even looking up from his Herbology textbook in his lap.

“Sirius.” Remus and James echoed, clearly displeased at Sirius’ cold name for you.

Over the last three weeks, Sirius would ask about you when you weren’t around and he was alone with the boys. He would ask how you were doing, but what he really wanted to know was if you had said anything about him or given any indications that you were close to giving in. James and Remus were growing impatient with Sirius. They had tried to step back, allowing both yourself and Sirius to have time to allow your fog of frustration to air out. They had hoped that Sirius would come around to realize that he had been wrong in all kinds of ways, and you both could work it out on your own.

Between stepping all over your feelings like they were a sidewalk and calling you a bitch for being rightfully upset, Sirius had one too many strikeouts on his record.

“What? If she’s going to act like a child, then I’ll treat her like one.” Sirius growled.

James crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair that he was sitting in by the common room’s fireplace. Remus watched the two of them from over the rim of his cup that contained his favorite hot tea. 

“She’s hurt, Sirius. You hurt her,” James snarled, eyebrows furrowed in agitation, “I don’t blame her for not wanting to talk to you.”

“Did you not hear the things she said to me? She was totally out of line.” Sirius argued, his demeanor going rigid and his defensive mode kicking into high gear.

“Because you pushed her too hard,” Remus cut in, “She has every right to be upset.”

Sirius was shocked that they were taking your side over his. You were never allowed to speak to any of them the way you had talked to Sirius that day. You weren’t allowed to talk back, get an attitude, touch yourself without permission, as well as other rules that had been established early on in the relationship. They all took the rules very seriously, and the fact that James and Remus were brushing it off was mind boggling to Sirius.

“I didn’t push her at all. She caught an attitude with me.” Sirius remarked tossing his textbook aside.

“Because you don’t always treat her the way you should,” Remus snapped, “All she wanted was for you to listen and talk to her.” 

“Do I not already do enough for her? I walk her to class, I let her sleep with me, not to mention that I fuck her pretty much whenever she wants,” Sirius pointed out, “And now I’m still not doing enough?”

James shook his head, sighing harshly. He was disappointed that he still wasn’t getting it. 

“She’s our girl, Padfoot. She responds so well to Moony and me because she knows how much we love her,” James explained, “You’ve got to start treating her like you love her.”

Sirius’ hardened features went light at what James was saying. He looked between his two best friends, who were sharing matching expressions of urgency. Sirius felt a sickening feeling creeping into his stomach that he could feel all the way up into his throat. Had you gone this whole time thinking that he didn’t love you like the other two did?

“But...I do love her.” Sirius spoke, almost in a whisper.

James and Remus looked at one another briefly, a bit relieved that he was maybe starting to see clearly now.

“She doesn’t know that. You’re going to lose her for good if you don’t change some things, Pads.” Remus added once he saw that Sirius was beginning to have a serious breakthrough moment.

That surely got Sirius’ attention. That wasn’t something he wanted at all. It made his heart hurt even to think about possibly never being with you again. He had to fix this, no matter what he had to do or say.

He just hoped that it wasn’t too late.

The remorse and the contrition that he was feeling that had been building up in him over the last three weeks was finally seeping through the cracks of the surface. It was like a fire that just kept spreading and spreading until the only thing he could see were the hot, orange flames and black smoke that would suffocate him if he breathed in too hard. It was like a switch had flipped. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He didn’t care about his pride or his image or his dignity. 

He just wanted you back.

So, the boys began to devise a plan. Sirius admitted that he didn’t know how to even begin apologizing to you. He wasn’t great with apologies, considering that even the word ‘sorry’ probably had only fallen from his mouth only a couple of times in his life. This was going to take some calculation and planning to get it right. 

You had been doing a bang up job of ensuring that you weren’t ever alone with Sirius. You made sure that either James or Remus was by your side whenever you were in Sirius’ presence, to avoid being forced to speak to him. Remus and James were confident that they could get you two in a room alone together. That was the easy part. The hard part would fall to Sirius, which came down to the actual apology.

James and Remus knew you’d be suspicious if Sirius apologized first. You’d likely only think he was apologizing because he was touch starved and wanted sex, not because he cared about you and was terrified of losing you. In their eyes though, as long as he was honest and didn’t lose his cool, you’d be able to see his real intentions.

Remus had told you to meet him in their dorm, and that no one would be there until later in the day. That seemed pretty normal to you, so you didn’t even give it a second thought. The dorm was empty when you arrived, prompting you to slip out of your uniform and into one of Remus’ sweaters all while getting comfortable on his bed. Shortly after you were settled, the three boys congregated just outside the door, whispering in their semi-circle formation.

“You got this, mate. Just be normal and be honest,” James instructed, “I guarantee you that she’s missing you just as much.”

Sirius was nervous. Not because he didn’t know what to say or what to do, but because he had half convinced himself that you had already decided he wasn’t worth your time anymore. He couldn’t live with himself if he was the reason you had left him.

“We’ll be out here just in case you need us,” Remus piped up, “It’s gonna be fine, Pads.”

James and Remus gave Sirius reassuring grins as Sirius took a deep breath before turning the knob of the door. He entered the small dorm room, his heart fluttering when he saw you sitting on Remus’ mattress. Your head snapped up, your face full of delightful expectation for Remus, but it faded just as fast as it came when you saw it was Sirius. He definitely noticed, but tried not to take it to heart. Your eyes were locked in with his, and you could already tell something was up.

“Hey.” Sirius said plainly, and in a bit of a squeak.

“Hi.” You replied.

He was honestly surprised that you actually gave him an answer. He thought you might’ve ignored him completely. The joyous relief that he felt from you actually talking to him was almost enough to send him to his knees, pleading for you to give him another chance. 

His gaze did shift to the book that was placed next to you. It was your Herbology textbook, the same one that Sirius had been studying from earlier that day.

“Studying for Herbology?” Sirius asked, but obviously that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about.

“Yeah,” You answered, unsure of what exactly was happening, “I was just waiting for Remus.”

Sirius nodded, avoiding the sting that burned in his chest at the reminder that he hadn’t truly seen you in almost a month. You looked so comfortable in the large sweater and the blanket that was draped over your lap. Your hair was slightly messy from the breeze outside that you had walked through to get here. Your skin was glowing from the warmth of their room and the sudden interaction you were having with Sirius.

You looked perfect to him.

He knew he needed to say something now. He needed to kick start this conversation before things got awkward and weird. Although, he never minded silence as long as he had you to occupy his every thought. All the things that he had planned to say were abruptly wiped from his mind. He was going out on a limb here, totally about to wing this. He just had to go for it.

“Can I sit?” He questioned, referring to the slight open space next to you.

You nodded hesitantly, shifting over so he could have a little more room. He sat down just about a foot in front of you, both of you turning to face each other. James and Remus were just outside the door, their ears pressed up against the door to be sure they didn’t miss anything.

Sirius looked at you for a few moments, taking in your curious, attentive behavior. He took a breath, and spoke again, but it came out as more of a ramble.

“Baby, I know I’ve hurt your feelings. I didn’t want or mean to hurt your feelings, but sometimes I just say stupid shit and then I’m too proud to admit that I said something stupid and...” He trailed off when he realized that so far he wasn’t saying anything that you didn’t already know. 

This was yet another reminder that Sirius wasn’t a great talker. But he wanted to let you know the things that you didn’t already know. He wanted you to know that he was truly sorry. He was sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t worth anything to him. 

He wanted you to know that you were his world.

“I miss you,” He began again, preparing for any possible reaction from you,  “I’m sorry for everything I said. I’m sorry that I hurt you...I never, ever wanted to do that.”

Your silence wasn’t because you weren’t believing what he was saying or because you didn’t want to listen. You were silent because you were floored that this was happening. Never in a million years did you think that you’d be sitting here listening to a real, heartfelt apology from Sirius Black. The thought of you leaving him had really scared him, and you could see it.

“I know I’m different from Moony and Prongs. They’re a bit better at this than I am,” He admitted, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

Truth be told, you weren’t really mad at Sirius anymore. You could never stay angry at him. Your whole avoid-Sirius-at-all-costs routine hadn’t exactly been a walk in the park for you either. There were several times where you were tempted to just let it go and forget about it. But now you were glad that you hadn’t done that, because you would’ve lost this opportunity to understand one another a little better.

“All I had wanted that day was to talk to you. I like talking to you,” You explained, “I just get frustrated when you don’t want to listen and the only thing you can think about is fucking me.”

Sirius sighed, his eyes diverting to his hands that were fiddling with the edge of the blanket in your lap. He had known that the other two boys were right, but hearing it come from you made him feel even more guilty.

“I know. I guess I’m just not good at talking. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just...not what I’m good at. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t important,” Sirius confessed, “But I do love you. And I don’t want to go another day without you.”

Another silence filled the room, one that had Sirius’ heart pounding in his chest. He felt like his entire life was on the line. Like, his entire fate was resting on whatever you were going to say or do next. You had every right to get up and walk out and never speak to him again. He knew he had crossed so many lines so many times that it was a wonder you were still here. He just hoped that you’d give him another chance. He hoped that he deserved another chance.

You were starstruck. You were completely touched and moved by what he had said. Maybe it wasn’t the most flawless apology ever. Maybe it was a little rough around the edges with a couple of hiccups. But deep down it was true, honest, and pure. 

Just like the Sirius Black that you had come to love.

He didn’t have anything else to say, and he hoped that what he had said was enough. Your warm hand came to his face, his head lulling into your palm when you brought his worried eyes to look at you once more. 

“I love you. I promise you don’t have to go without me anymore.” You smiled, accepting his apology and offering your forgiveness.

All color returned to Sirius’ face, his shoulders relaxing and his chest releasing a bated breath. You captured his lips into a needy kiss, one that was nothing short of long awaited. Sirius’ hands came to the side of your neck, his blood pumping in his ears. He had missed this. 

He had missed you.

He was even more thrilled when you crawled over into his lap, his hands guiding your legs around him as he refused to let you go from his lips. Although, when the other two boys came bursting in, your hot make out session was forced to a halt. They came in as if they had no idea what was going on, fake surprised expressions plastered on their faces.

“Well, hello there.” James chided with a smirk.

“Did we miss something?” Remus asked.

You and Sirius only laughed, as the four of you crammed together on Remus’ bed. Sirius continued to pepper kisses wherever he could while you craned your head to look at James as he spoke.

“So, I guess the two of you got things worked out?” James acquired. 

“We sure did.” You smiled, giggling when Sirius’ kisses brushed against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck.

Your lips found his again, Sirius leaning you back onto the mattress and keeping secured there. When your breathing began to get heavy and your noises became a little hungrier, James and Remus announced their exit.

“Well, I suppose Prongs and I will leave you to it.” Remus winked.

Sirius broke the kiss only to respond, but that didn’t stop you from leaning upwards to suck on his pulse point, not even phased by what Remus had said.

“You two aren’t going to stick around?” Sirius wondered, groaning as your hips rolled into his quickly hardening dick through his pants.

James shrugged.

“We’ll let it slide this time,” He said triumphantly, ushering Remus out the door, “Besides, the two of you have some catching up to do.”

Sirius let out a guttural laugh as he took a moment to look down at you. You looked so beautiful sprawled out underneath him; your lips swollen from the kissing and your eyes blown with lustful expectation. He knew he’d never be able to take you for granted again.

“My pretty girl...” He mewled, “I love you. A million times over I’ll tell you that I love you.”

“I love you, Siri,” You hummed, swiping a loose piece of hair from his forehead, “Now make me cum the way I know you know how to.”

Sirius chuckled lowly at your boldness, his pupils dilating at the flush of arousal that sent through him. You knew better than to tell him how to run his show, but he knew this was a special occasion, so he didn’t mind taking an order or two. 

“Well, now, what happened to ‘sex doesn’t fix everything’?” Sirius joked.

“It doesn’t, but we already fixed what needed to be fixed by talking,” You smiled, “Now we just both get something we want.”

Sirius laughed out loud, continuing his shower of kisses and swiping your skirt off in one swift move, your body squirming with anticipation. He felt confident that things would be better now. He was more than thankful that he had another shot at this. He was happy he had you back, and the four of you could go back to normal.

And now things would be even better than before.

***

Tags: @justadreamyhufflepuff​ @satellitespidey​ @blackpinkdolan​ @gubleryum​ @gxtitobxby​ @risingtripletaurus​​

[its-deputy-caleb]

Hi do you think you do the 4 lords reaction to finding out their GN s/o has a shadow demon that goes wherever they go and some time find the 2 of them playing board games

Hiii!! okay important note here! i decided to go a little off topic (sorry) for the purpose of a part 2 where the lord’s s/o will be an angel!! of course still gender neutral and there will be a shadow demon but the s/o will be a demon that hasn’t fully formed yet!

i’ve been really uninspired lately so this probably isn’t my best! i apologise :((

Devil or Angel? Pt.1

General HC’s

It was strange how quickly your life had changed. One morning you were just a normal villager in some godforsaken town in the middle of nowhere Romania and the next day you woke up from the cold dirty ground with a pair of huge dark wings and sharp nails.

You had been exploring some of the woodlands surrounding the village, looking for a water source which was running low when a dark figure came barrelling towards you. It felt like hours, when really it was only a few seconds of sharp searing pain. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the village alone.

You didn’t die however, or maybe you did? You weren’t quite sure what was happening to your body. All you knew was it must have been something supernatural to make the huge black wings appear.

“Looks like you finally woke up! Do you know how fucking boring it is just waiting for you to wake up?”

You screamed in terror at the large demonic creature floating above you. It was surrounded by a cloud of black mist with red eyes that pierced through its silhouette. It had a large wicked smile aligned with sharp teeth and a set of wings that matched your own.

Behind those eyes was something much more human however, in fact it looked rather bored.

“Who, or what are you?! And mind that language!”

The creature only laughed at you, amused by the whole situation which bothered you beyond compare.

“Well I’m a demon, if I didn’t swear you’d probably think me an angel with these playful charms I posses! And to be more specific I’m your demon, it seems you fell prey to one of the other demons condemned to this world it’s quite the tragedy really.”

You were shocked at just how easily this creature, this demon talked to you. As if it was a completely normal morning and life in the village had not changed at all.

“Oh don’t act so shocked, you medieval villagers have been worshiping my kind for a lot longer than that Mother Miranda. You’re one of us now!”

Surprisingly over time the creature, who’d you’d nicknamed “red” for their glowing eyes, was slowly growing on you. You might even call them a friend.

Sure Red was cocky as all hell and didn’t hesitate to cause trouble amongst the village but they became very protective over you and showed you the ropes on life as a demon.

Life can get kinda boring when you’re practically immortal and so you and red pass the time playing old Romanian board games and solitaire. When village life got really boring you even stooped so low to play go fish together.

A lot of the time you cause mischief in and around the village while Red was practically the devil on your shoulder, egging you on to stir the pot. The lycans were particularly enjoyable to taunt.

Regardless of everything, you couldn’t see yourself without Red and to lose them would crush you. There had been one too many nights when you’d chat about everything and nothing until you fell asleep curled up underneath your wings.

That was when you felt a protective wing curl around you, one that wasn’t your own.

“Always gotta fall asleep on me don’t you, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll have you partying all night before you know it kiddo.”

Alcina Dimitrescu

It started out as a stupid dare when Red dared you to sneak into Castle Dimitrescu and steal the Lady’s lipstick after hearing the village gossip that it was expensive.

You did not expect however to get caught in the hallway, starting straight up into the eyes of Alcina Dimitrescu, a stuttering and blushing mess. It was something that Red would tease you for until eternity ended.

After winning her favour, both you and Red were invited to stay in the Castle with Alcina and her daughters. She thought you were much better company than her brother and her affluent but gothic lifestyle totally appealed to you.

As it turns out you and Alcina had a lot more in common, both being creatures of a supernatural nature. You enjoyed the lazy afternoons curled up on the couch, a glass of maidens blood in your hand as she gentle stroked the back of her hand against your wings.

You had the finest outfits that matched your black wings perfectly and everything was tailor made so you were comfortable.

Red taught you how to fly so you were able to use your wings to be at eye level with Alcina which was perfect for hugs and kisses.

It turns out that Red is a great babysitter for the girls and keeps them entertained with hunting maidens and chasing them around the Castle while you and Alcina can spend some time together.

Donna Beneveinto

At first, Donna is truly scared of you and Red much like how you were in the beginning. But eventually, with the help of Angie she saw that you were not going to harm her.

You loved to spend time with Donna and watch her make her dolls or sew her dresses. Sometimes Red will come back with Angie from a day of causing trouble to find you reading to her another encyclopaedia of plants. Her head is resting on your chest and your wings are wrapped around her protectively while you read.

Your favourite thing to do together is to take Donna into your arms and fly to the top of the mountain where the waterfall begins and watch the sunset together. She’ll always have a deathly grip on your hand the whole time even though you’ve reassured her that you’d never drop her.

One time when you leaned in and gave her a kiss, a rather loud noise was heard from the corner and interrupted you.

“EWWW you guys are too cute!! All that lovey-dovey stuff makes me sick!”

Red is standing to the side with Angie on their shoulder who is sitting there making her own dramatic faces. One of Angie’s wooden hands covers Red’s eyes while the other is held on her forehead as if the kiss was enough to kill her.

Besides from their comment both Angie and Red act like your wing man for your relationship with Donna. They absolutely love you two together and have set up many dates for the two of you.

Salvatore Moreau

You meet Salvatore Moreau one day when you’re at the reservoir playing hide and seek in the near by mines with Red.

As it’s your turn to hide you end up ducking between some planks to find a tv set up and a small couch. Sitting in the middle of it happens to be someone you now know as Sal.

He thought you were going to kill him at first, hiding his face in his hands but very slowly after some months he saw that you weren’t a threat.

Over this time trying to convince Sal that you weren’t going to hurt him and trying to spend more time with him, Red took the opportunity to tease you for your crush.

“I think someone’s in got a little crush hmm??”

Eventually you become very close with Sal and the two of you will playfully chase each other at the reservoir. Sal will swim just below the surface while you fly just above it and your fingers brush together just where the water meets the air.

One time when you were chasing Red around the rooftops of the old village, you slipped and fell into the water, something that your large feathery wings did not enjoy and Red had to pull you out.

You ended up bundled on the couch with Sal, a bunch of blankets around you as your wings dried out. It took forever and you ended up a giant bundle of fluffy feathers but Sal thought you looked adorable.

Karl Heisenberg

Karl caught you and Red taunting the lycans when he went to check on them at their den one day. At the site of you two he raised an eyebrow and proceeded to light a cigar.

“I think you two may be lost, don’t you know it’s dangerous out here?”

You can hear the sarcasm in his voice and you spread your wings out to be intimidating, Red’s black mist behind you adding to it.

“Indeed it is very dangerous out here, I’d hate for you to get hurt.”

It was then when the three of you burst into a fit of laughter knowing that you were the strongest creatures in these woods and nothing could really hurt either of you.

Both you and Karl had a mischievous side and spent a lot of time causing trouble for his sister in her Castle.

It was fun to spend time with Karl and you both grew rather close. He even trusted you enough to let you help him on some of his plans and designs.

Red was particularly fond of the idea of killing Mother Miranda.

“Ooh when she’s gone can I have my picture put back up?! Pretty please!”

Karl designed his soldats with a red glowing chest plate that reminded him of your red glowing eyes which now matched Red’s.

While Karl will deny it forever, he’s completely in awe of you and finds you absolutely breathtaking. He can’t get over how soft your wings are and always cuddles up to you complaining that it’s cold even though it’s sweltering hot in the factory.

One day Karl took you by surprise and kissed you gently but with a degree of confidence which took him months to find. You melted into him and wrapped your arms around him securely, completely forgetting Red who’s hovering in the room.

“Guys I hate to break it to you but I’m kinda third wheeling here…”

Needless to say, Red third wheeled a lot and ended up befriend Sturm as an alternative to watching you guys make out.