#so I was already in a good mood
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Watching Sam & Brennan talk about the beauty of frivolity, of adults playing silly games just as seriously as they fight to survive, and... yeah. There are some things that keep us alive, and there are some things that make life worth living, and I think games are one of those things that fall into both categories. Games make our lives better and they make us better at being alive. I think that's pretty cool.
#k talks#adventure academy#dropout tv#sam reich#brennan lee mulligan#and i say this not in an evopsych way. never. but in a historian looking back at the infinite intricacy of human experience and crying#i know i'm not really saying anything that anarchist philosophers haven't already said but it just hits me every time. it's so good#(& when the lich heard brennan quote graeber we had to pause the video while he had a little philosophical squee)#i feel for brennan not being able to play mafia bc he's too busy hosting it tho. bc. mood#i am rarely allowed to survive a mafia game these last few years#i wish i could invite everyone else who went 'oof. yeah. same' to join my decade-long group of assorted folks#who've been playing increasingly complicated week-long games of mafia over forum & then facebook & now discord for a decade or so#bc oh boy. those games are fun as HELL & we always love new players#especially the kind who will play DEADLY seriously :)
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a funny lil flower that suits a funny lil guy
#im so normal about flower symbolism < lying lying lying Lying#(pointing) SEE! SEE! I CAN DO MORE THAN SCRIBBLES!!!#AHA! I CAN DO MORE THAN ONE THING!!!!#that being said im never doing lineless again <3#No Thank You!#it was not enjoyable! i did not have a good time!#it killed my already subpar mood!#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#wally darling#i... dont like this still!#but i dont know how to fix it and im tired of looking at it <3#oh well! there will be hits and misses!#you all might like it far more than i'd expect. you Never know!
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Picture this: we eat a truly absurd amount of mashed potatoes and then go to sleep
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#did this seduce anyone??#or am i only seducing myself with this idea#god mashed potatoes are so good#very good right before SLEEPING#which is also so good#@ girls with good mashed potato recipes: pls fall in love with me pls fall in love with me pls fall in love with me pls—#person: yeah i usually don’t peel the potatoes so i get it if you don’t like my recipe#me: *already on one knee to propose*#what if we got married and ate potato forward dishes for every meal🥺👉👈#im gay and i like sleeping#this is the kind of romantic post yall are following me for right?
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I'm not sure how much good this vent will do, I'm not even sure I want to post this vent after my last one, but I'm writing it just so it's out of my head and into words because it seems once again fandom has chosen to send vitriol Ashton Greymoore's way.
What for? They talked to a 'specter' of the primordial titan within them, through their connection to the earth, the natural flow of creation and destruction. They ask what will happen to the world, it responds that it'll endure, they ask what of the people, it responds that the strong will survive and the weak will be remade into something stronger, to which Ashton replies they think they understand. To fandom this means that Ashton is becoming a fascist, that they have a 'Make Exandria Great Again' attitude for wanting the Primordials back, that they need to be beaten up or 'get what's coming to them' in order to change their mind, and I can only sit here and stew and wonder if this hate is really well-founded? Ashton is among my favourite characters in C3, I get frustrated by them at times too but if I think about it a big percentage of my frustrations is more towards people disliking them than me disliking things they do, or Matt setting up scenarios that doesn't do them any favours towards the fandom that hates them. Some of these are knee-jerk reactions of course, but for others it does feel like they have it out for Ashton, and I don't wanna engage with that, which makes it quite lonely when most of the fandom hones in on it.
For the most part I can understand how the whole 'the weak will be remade' bit can be taken badly; it's definitely iffy, but every other plan we have is also very iffy. The Release Predathos option literally involves unleashing an entity that wants to genocide the gods, the Maintain Status Quo option ('option' the status quo imo is impossible, in my mind the Gods can stay but the dynamic will still have to change) maintains a relationship where the gods pick and choose who they feel deserves help, using their power to covet more power, strongarm and demand loyalty, and overall choose fellow gods over mortals when the chips are down and not owning up to it. We should also remember that entities can speak in riddles, 'remade into something stronger' doesn't necessarily mean death; it could mean to adapt and grow, to become strong enough to bear and overcome it as many of the PCs of Critical Role have done with their hardships and trauma. It's worth reminding that the sad truth is that people will die whatever outcome happens - the aim is always to lessen the amount but if the Gods leave it's a power vacuum, if we linger too long it's a Calamity, and if the Gods stay it's a holy war on a more wild and less organized scale - and that Ashton isn't saying they approve of such death, merely that they think they understand. The commune doesn't tell Ashton which way to go; it only tells them that the world will endure, there will be change and it will change people, trees will still grow, the wind will still blow, the waves will still flow along the coasts of the sea, and people will survive. I know the interpretation can differ from people thanks to Matt's patented vague or riddle-mounted choices in phrase, but I also think if it was the Wildmother who told Orym or some other follower that 'nature is a cycle, everything must adapt to change or else it'll die - this world will change, but it will also survive' nobody would be calling Orym a fascist, people would accept it because the Wildmother's domain is nature, and nature is not always kind.
While we're mentioning Orym - and because this is gonna come off as critical I must preface that I like and enjoy All of the Hells, that's not changed - I also gotta call it out here because it does very much feel like the people who hate Ashton hate them for the reasons they love Orym. Both are stubborn, they're diligent in their personal code, they care deeply for their friends and would give their whole being just to keep them safe, they believe in the Hells' power and greatness more than each member does and more than they believe in their own, but Ashton gets the hate mainly because these fans agree more with Orym on the god stuff. What confuses me though is how these same haters can despise Ashton for being consistent but love Braius, the literal Devil Worshipper who secretly is on board with the Chase Away plan only so he can help the Devil rule the world, the compulsive liar. Where's Braius' scrutiny? A world under Asmodeus will be a far worse 'survival of the fittest' scenario, why does Braius get a pass in all this stuff huh? Because he's funny? Seems people ignore the whole morality talk when they're discussing Braius' dedication to Exandrian Satan.
I find it irksome too that even the group seem to criticize Ashton reaching out to Primordials too - as if that wasn't what we wanted them and Fearne to do anyway. They don't dislike the gods simply because they're a 'great entity', it's because they're a great entity that holds power and doesn't use it equally or fairly; they pick and choose who to help, a lot of the time in Ashton's experience for their own self-service, but they won't prioritize mortals over another god no matter who cruel or heinous the god is being, and the following of these gods are so intertwined with politics that most religious motivation also ends up being political. Ashton has no connection to the gods, they reached out and got nothing, an Angel looked at them and made them feel like nothing, but they do have a connection to the Primordials; from the Earth Golem to the Titan Empress they're literally a vessel of, they experienced something significant in their connection to the Earth, so I don't like how that they're almost mocked for having it. In addition, Ashton's behaviour during this commune differs because of that connection, but also because the titans are a natural flow; they don't demand or test or politic or prejudice, and despite being a Great Entity in its own right it never made sure Ashton felt small for their own satisfaction, they asked a question and got an answer, it's the same reason Ashton has disdain for most political leaders but likes and respects Keyleth, Allura, Kima, Pike, and (eventually) Percy despite also being people in power. To call on Orym and the Wildmother as an example again; Orym's an Air Ashari, the Ashari are guardians of the Elemental Planes - made from the Primordials - not tied to a god, but nobody criticizes his connection to the Wildmother despite both not being a follower and his culture being more tethered to Primordials and their descendants. I'm not saying it's all correct for Ashton to want things to go back to how Primordials ruled, but we must remind ourselves also that we only know a story written by victors when it comes to the Schism - a story which could very easily have been altered and edited to make it feel more justified for the Primes and mortals to actively genocide all the Primordials, the native species and creators of this world, and desecrate their remains to make weapons, soul anchors, and cities - the specter didn't say 'fuck em, all mortals should die' after all, if they believe mortals would survive then they must be at the least tolerant of mortal existence. Why is it okay for god followers to say they wanna keep the world with the gods they have a connection to (and I'm not saying they aren't) but Ashton is out of line for wanting to have a world which has something active that they also have a connection to? It seems rather unfair to allow one side to have and the other to have not, picking and choosing because our audience's bias has spent more time with the gods, Ashton wanting something they can connect to doesn't feel all wrong either, the Eidolons still exist with faint worship hiding away so they're not smited by the gods, why can't faith exist so they're not in hiding? I sincerely doubt the Punk Rock that is Ashton is asking for the Primordials to fill the Gods' roles the same way the Gods have been running things either, they want to break the throne remember? There needs to be a balance in ideals and practice of course, and in an ideal world there could even be a more fluid and all-inclusive Exandria where gods and Eidolons live harmoniously with mortals without hierarchy and class systems, I think Ashton could happily live with something like that, they did say the world needs 'a little chaos' to call back to Matt hinting that the current world doesn't have enough.
Which leads us to those wishing violence upon Ashton - and I really don't like that. People who say 'hitting them over the head is the only language they understand' seem to misinterpret Ashton as if everyone around them have been on their hands and knees begging Ashton to reconsider and them ignoring valid points and pulling a Leroy Jenkins. In reality, nobody is actually talking to Ashton about it, a lot of the frustration with Bells Hells right now is that they aren't talking to each other, even about the end goal! Ashton has valid reasons for their thinking, so being violent isn't gonna change their mind; undermining, dehumanizing and trying to effectively bully anyone let alone someone with chronic pain and low self worth will never truly convince them to your way of thinking. All people understand the language of violence, but that language is not used justly, those who truly wish violence upon Ashton don't want it in hopes it'll force Ashton to change their mind, they want it for their own satisfaction of seeing them in pain; so they can further push them away from the rest of the group and go 'that guy's not one of us', make it so the people Ashton calls family after a lifetime of loneliness, confusion and abandonment - the people they promised they won't abandon, and have kept true on that promise even at their lowest - make them feel small and worthless, and force them into box where they can't be themselves, and I hate that people would want to treat them that way. Ashton IS capable of listening; they've stepped back and trusted the other Hells to do their own thing even when it's ridiculous like staging a play where they pretend to be Ludinus to trick Unseelie emissaries into thinking that he attacked them, they listened to the gods even when they didn't have to like they promised they would and despite it being very personal they held themselves back for the benefit of the group, and if the group talked to them calmly where they were all allowed to healthily discuss the pros and cons, the ideals and compromises, and the risk and reward of all plans that have been proposed then they would listen, and they would try - you don't need to slice bread with a broadsword.
Will Ashton 'get what's coming to them'? Maybe, but what is that exactly? We only assume to know the full vision of what Ashton wants to act on. All of Bells Hells are gonna face the consequences of the choice they make on Ruidus - when they finally make one that is - in and out of the world they live in, so won't that apply to everyone? So what for Ashton? do people want Fractures 2.0? Does everything Ashton wants in life have to blow up violently in their face? Family, Closure, their best friend's safety, why does 'what's coming to them' have to be something aggressive and harmful? People change through positive reinforcement and good experiences too! Caduceus Clay would remind you that it's love that makes people. Don't mistake this rant as me wanting Ashton to be exactly as they are now, I too want to see growth from Ashton and we ARE seeing it happen; I see it in small instances where they think twice about rash actions and try not to fly off the handle, when they sit just to listen or understand or to defuse tension, and that when they're going somewhere or doing something they let the group know in advance, those who think Ashton hasn't changed since ep. 1 aren't paying close attention, but that doesn't mean that they don't still have more ground to cover. I believe that Ashton grows the most through kindness; when they're treated like a person and not a blunt instrument or a nuisance, and I hope what's 'coming' for Ashton isn't rejection, bitterness, and isolation, but acceptance, empathy, and for someone - if you know me you'd know who I'd want it to be - to convince them that they are worthy of living, that they're special not because of their powers or blood or because they have died and been put back together again (honestly, it does irk me a little that both Keyleth and Imogen chose that for titles and to brag to the Matron, I know it isn't intended this way but sometimes it feels like saying 'your best defining quality is that you've died a lot') but because while they have every reason to hate everything they still chose to be kind to those who deserve kindness, they have a good heart and they mean well. Are they perfect? No! They're in their 20s very few people irl have their lives together at even twice that age, but I want them to have good things in their life; things that help them feel happy and safe and like they can still feel comfortable in their own skin without having to appear more 'palatable' for people who've already decided that they don't like them. I want them to know that they've always deserved to live and they still deserve it now, I want that not just for Ashton but for all the Hells, and hopefully they'll all live to have it.
And most of all I want the people who hate them to be wrong about Ashton Greymoore, and I want Taliesin to prove them wrong.
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#c3 spoilers#c3e110#cr spoilers#bells hells#ashton greymoore#taliesin jaffe#matthew mercer#yes this is my ass coming to the defense of Ashton again#not saying Matt hates Ashton but they don't half give them a short straw when they're seeking answers#Ashton and I are very different (*) but there are similarities I feel also very strongly about that I'm compelled to put my foot down on#(*I kinda expect they'd steal my wallet but then return it after seeing my donor card and tell me how to not make it so easy to steal)#this is not angrily targeting everyone - it's a culmination of things I've bit my tongue on that I disagree with#there will be people who don't like Ashton for valid and fair reasons a valid and fair amount - this is not against you#but the hate guys - the hate! It ruins my day seeing it let alone thinking about it#and 110 still had a lot of fun and interesting things going on in it that I'd rather focus on#I was not in a great mood already for having missed ANOTHER set of auroras last night#I've stared at this for half an hour in drafts between posting and deleting - if things get more bitter I'll definitely be deleting it#this is not put out to debate this is just pure shouting to the ether#and what I shout to the ether is that 'Ashton Greymoore deserves to feel loved'#it's out but it's not gone from my system it just won't boil over again for a bit - but I still don't like having these vents#I'd much rather rant about fun and good things that make me happy and are a comfort to me
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I’ve been having a rough couple of weeks (nothing bad!! just general stress…general depression…the usual…you know😔🙏) but even though I haven’t been drawing as much, I’ve been trying my hardest to respond to all the messages & comments etc here…you all are so sweet & I love talking to you🥹💓😙😙
1) the sunrise this morning!!!! It’s been the nastiest June ever…cloud and rain every single day so to finally have a nice day after a week of rain makes me so happy!! 💓💓
2) the flowers I got a few days ago🥹🥹🥹
3) all I wanted to do when I woke up today was listen to Led Zeppelin on repeat and lay in bed in a depression funk😆😆 but I dragged myself out of bed & drew Robert Plant at the beach instead💓💓💓 tbh I think the sun helps a lot with my mood!!
4) I forced my friend to come over and we played Pax Renaissance (literally the most obtuse, bizarre board game of all time but I’m obsessed with it🙏🙏)(I lost every game bahahahahahahaha)
5) I did a bit of makeup today after a week of nothing💓
#sorry if you don’t like these I know this is a fanart blog#but I also like making these little diary posts sometimes too💓💓💓#hope you all had/are having a good weekend!!!!#if I fall off the radar again….just know im obsessively deep-cleaning my apartment#whenever I get in these moods I decide to clean a lot#I already feel awful why not just do an activity I hate too😆😆 and when I feel better it’s like my home magically cleaned itself😆😆#im the biggest Robert Plant simp in the world😇😇😇#there is something so sexy about him😫😫😫 like his voice…his complete ease and comfort with who he is and how he presents himself…#his hair…😫😫😫😫 god I love him#and don’t even get me started on Jimmy Page………#sorry guys I’m such a nerd bajahahahahajajjajajaaj
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Eichi gives away the mask so easily because it was never meant to be an "engagement ring" like you delulu wataeis imagined it to be lmao. It was wataru saying that he will continue playing tsumugi clown role in fine and won't leave it for hokuto's mother troupe after graduation. Do you dumb fucks even read the stories? Eichi didn't even understand tf that mask meant when wataru gave it to him and wataru referenced fucking tsumugi in his "proporsal". I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link. Cope
PS: how do you live with the fact that Eichi clearly admitted to never being in love in his life and Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives?
I love you anon thank you for giving me a nice reason to ramble again beautiful ask 10/10 I'm sorry this is probably not how you hoped this would go but this is such a funny block of text delightful really thank you for the enrichment please marry me
But okay yes now to get down to the actual ask just to disclaim I am solely relying on translations seeing as I do not speak japanese well enough to understant the original text so if anyone has anything to add to this or to correct me on please feel free to do so.
Now to get started I'm not sure if one could say Eichi gave away the mask "So easily" seeing as he claimed that it was "a hard choice to make"? Which, as one might know, implies unease with an idea and pondering and debating and a general amount of thinking behind a decision so? I know this isn't really the main focus of this ask but I'm just a tad miffed with the semantics of it is all. And in either case giving the mask back to Wataru while expecting it back still shows a certain degree of trust in their relationship it wouldn't have been such a big deal for him (as it apparently was) if the mask didn't have a lot of sentimental value to him (the both of them really if we look at the whole exchange).
Now to the claim that the mask was "only" Watarus promise to stay with fine and "continue playing Tsumugis clown role". This is not entirely incorrect. Regarding the acting troupe and staying with fine bit at least.
I'm assuming this bit in EP:Link Deadend/7 is what you are referencing, and I see where you're coming from. But the bluebird line
from literally three dialogue lines further down, which references this line of dialogue (notorious Eichi line everyone should be familiar with)
kind of somewhat really recontextualises that? Because you see this is a reference to a fairytale about a pair of siblings and they get sent out by a nice fairy to find the bluebird of happiness for her sad daughter to make her happy again so they both go on an adventure and travel far and search and search but they can not find the bluebird of happiness and then when they return home again, disappointed because they couldn't find the blue bird, they realise only one night has actually passed and the journey was probably just a dream. But then their eyes fall upon their pet dove in it's cage which appears blue all of a sudden and so they gift it to the fairies sad daughter which becomes happy again and sets the bird free. The real bluebird of happiness is a dove. At least in the version of the story I'm familiar with but I mean everyone sees the symbolism right? It's. very hard to miss.
And then dropping this?
I'm not sure how to say this properly but in the overall context this makes it pretty clear that Tsumugi has nothing to do with this anymore this is Fully between Wataru and Eichi. And I am the last person to dismiss Tsumugis significance in the course of Wataeis relationship as characters I will be among the first to protest when someone dismisses the importance of Tsumugis and Eichis relationship in favour of some image they have of Wataei but he has nothing to do with this one.
Yes Tsumugi gets namedropped but - again - I don't really see how that would lessen the sentiment Wataru is triying to convey here? Because. Yes. Why wouldn't he mention Tsumugi?
The entire conversation pretty much boils down to "Yes I was initially only in this because I thought I could replace Tsumugis role in your life and then I wanted to leave but we have spent so much time together that I realised that that is definitely not working out because I really do love you. I love you as a teammate; I love you as a friend; I love you as a person and I am very angry at myself for not managing to get that into your head. So please allow me to stay with you for as long as you'll have me." And then also Eichi not understanding because he has the emotional self awareness of a very emotionally unaware loaf of bread and also because he hates himself that is a very big thing about his character huge part of his character arc actually that he. you know? Hates himself? And feels guitly for his actions during the war? And doesn't think he deserves love and companionship? Which is why Wataru wanting to stay with him for him and not for some twisted form of revenge is such an alien concept to him? Because he is projecting his insecurities onto Wataru? As one is wont to do when they hate themself? "EiChi Didn'T eVen UnDErStanD WhAt tf ThAT Mask MEAnt" Yeah. That's. That's the point? So he can think about it and come to that conclusion himself which works as a keymoment in his characters journey from hating life and himself to enjoying being alive and wanting to live on because of the people he's surrounded with? He literally explains why he didn't immediately understand the mask during the EP:Link Epilogue/4
And to get back to the "I dunno why the f you think it's ok to lie about "! EnDiNG wItH wAtAeI EnGaGeMEnT" about which I have two things to say:
"Lying" implies further intent and an effort. Neither of which exist in this case.
He literally went down on one knee while making a big proclamation of offering himself to Eichi with a very personal item that works as a symbol for their commitment to each other on a starlit rooftop. The comparison writes itself.
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke
And then I expected there to be a proper reason given and instead you proceed to follow that up with "when the chapter it happened wasn't even close to the end of ep:link". I know the shame is on me for expecting something sensical from an ask which has been near constant in it's lack of correct statements but such is human nature I suppose. And you are not wrong. Deadend/7 isn't very close to the end of EP:Link. That is true.
But do you know what Is very close to the end of EP:Link? The Epilogue Chapters 3-5.
Do you know what the content of those chapters is? I do. Very well actually :)
(Eichi literally explains why he didn't get it)
So if this answers your "Do you dumb fucks even read the stories?" questions, Yes. And I think I'm a lot better at it than you. So I'd say I'm coping quite well over here :p
PS: Regarding your PS, I take the "I've never been in love before so I wouldn't know" comment with a lot of humour actually as an aroace person who's emotional self awareness also ends at "good" and "Not good" I think it's very funny all things considered especially because he mentioned the loving Wataru thing several times before that and I'm generally of the belief that actions speak louder than words and also am in a happy long term relationship with the concept of "Reading Subtext". So please excuse me for not breaking down in tears everytime someone reminds me of that one singuar line of text in one of my favourite all time enstars stories that came out three years ago which also brought us the single best card set in the entire game
as well as absolute banger dialogue such as
Among others <33
And there are soooooo many other examples of wataei dialogue that simply make me swoon but I have already had to take out so many of the one's I wish I could put here so this wouldn't get "Do you love the colour of the sky" long
And also, regarding your "Wataru said that even though Eichi likes him, he still can easily discard him for the sake of his objectives" I'll just say that no he absolutely could not. I mean he'd say that and if pull comes to shove and he has no other option then he might seriously consider it but may I mention that Wataru was gone for a few days at most but really not that long of a time during Sanctuary and Eichi stopped considering being a normal rational person that doesn't leave helpless 17 year olds in the midst of a construction site. Very different situation but I feel like it's worth mentioninh here. Another example is Eichis almost not being able to go through with the war because of Wataru. Wataru had to actively come and tell Eichi to go through with it. Wataru isn't the reason Eichi started the war, that is wrong, but he is the reason Eichi almost didn't finish it. and during the war era that was his Main objective. Again I'm part of the fraction "actions speak louder than words" Show don't tell and all that, but even the words are pushing it.
And that concludes my essay :)
#I so won this#there were so many pictures and quotes I wanted to include but the limit..... :'(#if any of you were wondering I am still as insane about them as I ever was#thank you anon really genuinely and fully this has been a blast#if anyone reads the whole thing....mwah let's run off into the ocean together#or something like that idk but it is appreciated#they are my everything they really are#I'm very enamoured with the ''Cope''#Cope with what? I have nothing to cope with? well nothing wataei related at least#or the ''How do you live with the fact'' yadda yadda#How am I supposed to live with it it's funny i think it's very funny#You really trust what enstars characters say and take it at face value without examining the subtext further? amateur mistake#it's so passionate too anon i admire you#imagine disliking something so intensely you sent a very wordy ask to someone because of a silly post they made#I wish I had that much vigor in me#I mean i'd be too polite to even if I did but still it has somehting admireable to it#thanks to you i got to reread some of my favourite wataei interactions so now I think the last three hours were three hours well spent :)#genuinely thank you for the enrichment#I hope youll have a nice day we might not see eye to eye on this and I'm also objectively better at reading these stories and understanding#the characters but I still hope you'll have a nice day#as good karma or something#I'm currently still on that dopamine high from writing this i think it's obvious#best mood I've been in in ages I love talking about wataei#okay good I'll conclude the tags I've already stretched this post out so far i might as well spare the poor tag reader#but then again if you have read the post this far what's a few more tags to you#I really like the fact that the real bluebird is a dove it's soooooooo#it's good it's really good in the overall context#wataei#eichi tenshouin#hibiki wataru
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I traced Engine's body because I'm curious (and thirsty)
I did a none super defined abs too and he is still very much hot (of course he is. He's Engine)
Then I did slight shade because why not..
In conclusion: fuck ye
#PLEASE#I AM SO#GOODNESS GRACIOUS#Should I do a Zanka one#I kinda have to since I'm an EnZan blog huh?#But I'm only in Engine thirst mood so that's for later#Anyway AAAAAAAAAAAAA#Gachiakuta#He's so hot#Gachiakuta Manga#Manga#I already know that#Even just his face and his personality and#God#Tbh even if he's not muscular at all he would still be very much hot#This is Engine bruv#gachiakuta enjin#enjin gachiakuta#engine gachiakuta#Gachiakuta Engine#Engine#Enjin#my art#I mean I just traced it#Manga Panel#Manga Cap#What's manga cap mean#FUCK HES SO HOT I CANT#AAAAAAAAAAAAA#ANYONE WITH ENGINE FANARTS TELL ME PLEASE I NEED MORE OF THIS MAN
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yeah... if you read it yesterday I got myself rob, I'm kinda of...an idiot
So open emergency comms!
Also open a Ko-fi for this, again any help is more than apreciate it!
Same mechanic as common comms, but
IMPORTANT
I will start working on the commissions next week, since I'll be busy this week.
(but of course before any paymant you'll aprove the preliminar sketch)
#my art#commission#dunno what to say#I'm kinda like#in a bad mood right now#I guess I'm sad#or burn out#is just#I dont feel too good#so I will just#let this here and go take some time#but for real people#any help#is more than welcome#to the people that already give some very sweet words of encouragement#thanks#I love you guys#sorry for always been a mess
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Andrew Garfield for Variety
#it was high time to gif him again already#andrew garfield#my gifs#what kind of power does he have that he still looks so good even soaked through??#he's really just so thoroughly gorgeous#seeing him is like an instant mood boost it just makes me so much happier#I'm still so wild about him#sir I am free for you anytime
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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[Image Description: Two unfinished digital paintings / sketches of the hatchling and Hal from outer wilds. they are standing with their arms around each other and the hatchling has their head leaning on hal's shoulder as hal watches the supernova in the distance through the doorway of the museum. the first image is the scene viewed from behind with everything lit in bright blue with dark shadows. the second image shows hal's face looking in fear towards the light and is only partially colored, the rest sketched over a gray background. End Image Description.]
something you'll run back in for when the house burns down
#im going to post something on halloween but also want to post like sketch compilations and unfinished stuff#bc I draw alllll the tiiimeee and theres so much and its just going to get buried in my hard drive if I dont do anything with it#I'm so shy to post this but im in a good mood today so ok you can have the hal post#::) hal.#I wanted to finish these sooo badly and I still want to - it might take me completely reworking it again though :P#im scared this will become one of those pieces where i improve at anatomy more then look back at this one and be like. Gah what was I doing#honestly thats already happened. these are from several months ago#I kept their expression kind of neutral.. both because I dont think I could accurately capture the sheer dumfounded horror.#also because my heart will shatter into many pieces if I draw hal too sad#anyway the caption is a lyric from alone by tresspassers william#the album that song is from is called different stars and its one of my favorite albums ever ever <3 its very somber but I love it#this song doesnt even remind me of these two thaaat much#but theres other songs on the album that do more.. like vapour trail... and anchor oh my god. anchor...#and if you cant steer then it would be safer to drop the anchor 🤔🤔#ok I'm done talking now bye hal fans#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#very early spoilers. lol sub 23 minute spoilers#hal outer wilds#hatchling outer wilds#the hatchling#timber hearth#. I guess?
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hey!! i just wanted to come on here quickly and say i absolutely adore your art!! i was scrolling through the sebastian sallow x mc tag and found your artwork, and am about to starting reading your story on ao3! you’re super talented!!! and i look forward to reading your story and seeing more art from you <3
AW TYSM!! im glad you found / like my art, and i hope you end up liking my fic as well!👉👈💖💖💖
Y'ALL......im so glad u like my art and also my fic so much😭😭im honoured to be your fav, ty for the support and such high praise....and u are so right about the slytherin/ravenclaw dynamic. surprisingly i never really thought about the dynamic much before HL cause i was mostly focused on gryffindor/gryffindor or gryffindor/slytherin (ive never actually read any HP or HL fanfics, but i was always a romione shipper, and although i never dabbled, i was always interested in dramione/considered reading fics about them), but yess the slytherclaw dynamic just suits the MC/HL so much, especially with seb and his own personal quest for knowledge regarding anne's cure, like u said (also about your second ask, im glad u also enjoyed my ominis oneshot!! as for the nsfw idea.......👀👀....consider it noted👀( and even if i dont draw them im ALWAYS down to get some nsfw ideas or just ideas in general for either seb/clora OR ominis/MC. u never know what can spark inspiration😏) TY AGAIN🙏🙏🙏
#its funny bc before HL came out i was already in such a good girl/bad boy dynamic mood so i was SO close to looking up dramione fanfics#but i never got around to it and then HL came out and that was that LOL#its so funny to me that ive never read a single HP fanfic despite being such a romione shipper#i guess bc canon satiated me for once?? bc after growing up with shounen animes where no romance happens at all#the ron and hermione crumbs we DID get was already more than i was used to getting LMAO#but i aint satiated with HL😤so many fanfics tbr when im done with my own. & at least ill have a lot to choose from thanks to the wait LOL#ask
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So many types of books that have strong summertime associations that I spend all my time cycling through cravings for certain genres or books.
Within the last month, I have wanted to read/reread:
Jane of Lantern Hill by L.M. Montgomery
The Electrical Menagerie by Mollie E. Reeder
Valiant by Sarah McGuire
Retellings in general (especially Cinderella retellings)
Golden Age mysteries, especially Josephine Tey and Agatha Christie
The Moon-Spinners by Mary Stewart
Books set in locations that are not America or England, especially warm climates
Books set in wintery/cold weather settings
Science fiction/space opera
Superhero stories
Civil War history/Presidential history
D.E. Stevenson books (and other mid-tier vintage light fiction)
Wilkie Collins books
Graphic novels
And I'm sure there are others that I'm forgetting
#books#monthly reading lists#some of these may just make up my july list#this is not great in terms of getting books read#because as soon as i start one a different craving hits#or i want to satisfy all cravings at once#yesterday i started five different books#jane of lantern hill (good it's already on my reading list)#a sci-fi (hopefully short and quick)#a sample of the second book in that maid maleen trilogy (prob not in the mood to go further)#a wilkie collins book (excellent so far)#(will unfortunately take a while but since there's a librivox i can make use of driving time so it's like a free space)#and an una silberrad that was a total impulse when glancing at the epub reader app#i also stayed up way too late reading these#and MEANWHILE i've got a whole stack of library books i need to get to#AND i'm SUPPOSED to be reading some books from my shelf#impulse control and me are not on great terms in the summertime
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FL x reader where FL behaves like a guard dog around reader whenever they’re outside, so during the archon quest when he wakes up being taken to jail he sees the guards are taking reader to get questioned as well because on record it’s obvious that they’re very close, FL just starts hissing at the guard thats taking him away because he’s terrified they’ll do something to his precious beloved :(
i'm not crying you're crying ;-;;;;
oh, especially if you don't know why you're being questioned in the first place, only that some guards showed up to escort you to "somewhere private"- which ended up being a prison fortress. you're terrified at this point, knowing how odd and at times brutal Fontaine's judicial system is, and no one is telling you ANYTHING! they just keep pushing you down the hall and telling you that everything will be fine, they just need to ask you a couple of questions, and you can do nothing but keep walking forward, the cold air making you shiver- until you hear a screech from a few cells over
your eyes widen as your pace quickens, ignoring the guards' shouts for you to stop, and when you reach the cell you find yourself staring into the crystalline gaze of a very familiar Abyssal monster
Foul Legacy warbles when he sees you, whimpering and leaning into your touch as you do your best to wrap your arms around his neck through the bars of the cell, his tears cool and damp against your skin. the bars press into his armor, but he doesn't care, only seeking your voice and your touch to calm him, the corruption gnawing at his mind slipping into peaceful bliss... until the guards run up to you, firmly pulling you away, their hands on your shoulders as they lead you down the hall. you shout at them to let you go, to let you see him again, but it's like they're deaf to your pleas as well as Legacy's desperate wails behind them, and they lead you deeper into the cold, unyielding prison
unfortunately for them, they also don't hear the unmistakable shattering crack of metal breaking under claws and teeth
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#chit chat#anon#he got outtttttt hehehehehe#don't make Foul Legacy mad#especially when he's already dealing with a false charge and mood swings#oh i want to write a part two for this so badly#short scenario#other's stuff#FAVE#good evening :)
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three small joys/victories from yesterday:
I made my first Big Parenting Decision on my own despite pressure/guilt from my (beloved but at times overbearing) family. I feel secure in my choice and I spent a lot of time thinking about the underlying reasons for it, which was a good values-defining exercise. and you know I love a values-defining exercise.
I don’t know many lullabies but I discovered that he really likes it when I sing “but daddy I love him” to him slowly and with dramatic facial expressions. you can tell this kid was subjected to a lot of tswift in utero lol
pip is being almost unbearably sweet and gentle with baby 😭 he’s my velcro dog and loves to sit in my lap so I was worried he’d get territorial about me holding the baby all the time. but he’s just seamlessly adapted and now he curls up next to me or by my legs when my lap is occupied. he’s also been a lot calmer in general, which might pass once the initial shock of A New Arrival wears off but is helpful right now as we settle into routines.
#three good things#three frustrations: pumping sucks! it just sucks. I can handle it at the beginning of the day#but by the end of the day I’m so done#then I don’t pump overnight which I know is bad#two: the 8pm mood dip still sucks :( it helps to be like ok! this is brain chemicals and fatigue from caring for a newborn all day#but I don’t love ending the day bawling before bed#three: I have to find a way to nicely lovingly tell my brother to back off re: circumcision#I know he’s the one who is pressuring my mom to repeatedly bring it up with me#I love my brother a lot! and I know it comes from a place of love/concern#but I feel like#my family can struggle a bit with ‘no is a complete sentence’ lol#like he just endlessly wants to try to persuade me of things#and has a hard time hearing it when I say thanks but I’ve already made up my mind!#baby tag#postpartum tag
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thw world when im working on a conlang again
#AHHHHH#every time i take a break from conlanging and then get back into it it feels so good.#ok this is gonna be my second rework of my second conlang. i already tried earlier this year but it didnt really go anywhere#and i wanted to lowkey start another rework from scratch and i think im bringing in some cool ideas#actually did i even post about this lang? i called it raz then but im gonna give it a new name now i think#but yeah it has a weird gender system and animacy based word order and like a bajillion cases and i think#i might even do auxiliary verbs??? i dont think any of my clongs have auxiliaries lmao i kinda hate them#but yeah im thinking a fusional tense + aspect marker and then moods marked with auxiliaries maybe#also wanna play around with evidentiality#ramblings
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