#so I hope it came out okay Amanda

[aceghosts]

OC Kiss Week 2023: Hunter Delaney & Charlie Berger

*Charlie belongs to @detectivelokis

[a-lexia11]

Mama (My little family part 2)

Leah Williamson x reader

Part 1

Warnings: none, just pure fluff.

Summary: Noah calling Leah “mama” for the first time.

Word counts: 3k

Since Leah met Noah more than seven months ago, a lot has changed. As Leah and I became more serious, we had to explain our relationship to Noah.

And just like that, Leah transitioned from being "a very special friend of mine" to "mommy's girlfriend."

Noah also celebrated his 4th birthday. We had a little birthday party for him with family and friends, including Leah’s family, who met Noah for the first time at the party.

He was a bit shy at first , but Leah’s family was so nice and made him feel comfortable.

The backyard of Leah’s house was filled with laughter and joy as Noah celebrated his 4th birthday surrounded by all his friends. Colorful balloons swayed in the gentle breeze, and the sound of children playing filled the air.

I was in the kitchen getting some snacks ready for the kids. "Hey, everything alright?" Leah came in from the backyard and headed towards the kitchen. "Do you need a hand?" she asked. "Yes, please. Could you place these candies in the bowl?" I replied, pointing to the packet on the counter.

"Sure thing," she said, putting her arm around my shoulders and giving me a kiss on the side of my head.

As she poured the candies into the bowl, we heard a knock on the door. "Oh, that must be my family" she said, putting the packet of candy down and heading toward the door.

Leah’s mother, father, and brother all appeared in the kitchen, each greeting me with a hug. "How are you, sweetheart?" Amanda asked me. "I’m good, thank you" I responded.

"So, where’s the birthday boy?" she said, placing the present she bought on the counter. Just as I was about to respond, Noah came running into my legs. "Mummy, when can we eat the cake?" he asked, looking up at me.

" Soon baby but hey, look who's here," I say to him, pointing at Leah's family standing right in front of us. Noah got a little shy and hid behind my leg, his tiny hand clutching my pants tightly.

Leah knelt down, taking one of Noah's hands in hers. "It's okay, buddy. Don't be scared; they are my family," she reassured him. "Look, this is my mother, Amanda," she said, pointing to Amanda, who gave Noah a gentle smile. "And this is my father, David, and my little brother, Jacob."

Liam wraps his tiny arms around Leah’s neck and hided his head in the crook of her neck. "Hello," he said shyly, waving at them.

They smiled softly at him as Leah picked him up. "Hey, look at what I got you!" Amanda said, showing him his present.

Liam got curious and pulled away from Leah's neck. He looked at the present, then back at me, silently asking for permission to take it and I just nodded at him.

"I hope you'll like it! I personally chose it. Leah said that you love dinosaurs," Jacob said, getting closer and smiling at him.

“Yes! I love dinosaurs!” He suddenly exclaimed, making us laugh. With Leah's help, he opened his present, revealing several dinosaur figurines.

“Wow! Thank you!” He exclaimed. “Look, Leah! Dinosaurs,” he said, showing Leah the dinosaurs. She laughed and replied, “Yes, I can see them.”

Liam reached his little arms out, making grabby hands towards Amanda, who happily took him in her arms. “Thank you, Leah's mummy, daddy, and brother,” he said. We all laughed. “You're welcome, mate,” Jacob said, giving him a high five.

From that moment, Leah's family and mine became one. Our parents also met during the birthday party and practically became best friends.

My dad, Leah’s dad, and her brother bonded over their love for Tottenham, much to Leah’s discontent.

And our moms bonded over their love for North London and shared cooking recipes throughout the whole party.

Noah completely adopted Leah’s family as his own, often asking about Jacob and going out with Amanda and Bella, Leah’s dog, at the park.

And now Noah and I are officially moving into Leah’s house.

Two days after Noah’s birthday party, Leah asked me to move in with her. At first, I was a little unsure; I did not know how Noah would react to such a drastic change.

So, Leah proposed we do it gradually. It started with spending afternoons at Leah’s house, then we began having dinner there as well.

Occasionally, we would sleep over. Leah had a guest room where Noah would sleep, even though it wasn't really appropriate for a 4-year-old, as he was practically drowning in the giant bed.

He didn't really like the room either, describing it as "boring." I mean, it was designed for an adult, so it was plain, unlike his room at our apartment, which was colorful and full of life with tons of toys laying around the room.

Since Noah and I are a team, I needed to know his thoughts on us moving out. So, I asked him about it, and he was more than happy to move in with Leah as long as he could bring his toys with him.

When I told Leah about it, she was ecstatic, assuring us that she would do everything possible to make us feel at home.

I set the last box of my belongings on Leah’s counter and let out a big sigh, feeling exhausted from the long day. Today, Noah and I officially moved into Leah’s house. The past few days have been exhausting, juggling a wild four-year-old, packing all our things, and work… it was all so tiring.

Noah was taking a nap on the couch as I was sorting out my things.Leah came into views “was that the last box?” she asked “yeah, finally” I responded relief lacing my voice.

She smiled at me, and pulled me into her arms, hugging me tightly.Her hands softly rubbing my back and my face in the crook of her neck.

"I'm so happy that you decided to come live with me," she admitted softly. "I know it’s a big step, but I honestly can’t wait for us to start this next chapter of our lives," she continued. I kissed her neck. "Just you wait until you have a four-year-old waking you up by jumping on your bed at 6 a.m., ordering you to wake up because he's hungry," I joked. She laughed.

"Oof! 6 a.m.? Yeah… you know what, maybe it wasn't the best decision for you to live with me. Let's pack your things back up" she teased, and I gently tapped her back since it was the only part of her I could reach as we were still hugging.

“Oh! By the way I have something to show you and Noah!” She said suddenly and pulled away from the hug gently kissing me on the forehead, “what?” I asked her.

"Let's wait until Noah wakes up, and I'll show it to both of you" she said. "In the meantime, let's continue unpacking." I agreed, then turned around and bent down to pick up a box that I had placed on the ground earlier.

After some time, Leah and I were in the kitchen enjoying a snack.

"Mummy?" I heard Noah as he made his way towards us, rubbing his eyes. Once he was in front of me, he raised his arms, asking to be picked up.

As soon as I picked him up, he clung to me, wrapping his arms around my neck, resting his head on my shoulder, and wrapping his legs around my waist.

"Aw, my little koala," I cooed at him, "Did you enjoy your nap?" I inquired as I gently placed my hand on the back of his head, softly stroking it. He simply nodded, still a bit groggy from his nap.

After a few minutes of silence, just standing in the middle of the kitchen cuddling, he lifted his head. "Leah? Can I have a snack, please?" he asked. "Yes, of course, mate," she replied, reaching into one of the cabinets and pulling out some Goldfish crackers.

She opened the package and placed them on the kitchen counter as I sat him up on one of the high chair.

"Thank you, Lee" he said. "You're welcome, little man," she responded, planting a series of kisses on his cheek, making him giggle and try to kiss her cheeks in return.

"Eat your snack now , mate , so I can show you your surprise," Leah said after pulling away. "A SURPRISE!?" He burst out, his eyes gleaming. "Yes, a surprise!" She echoed his excitement. Noah grabbed a handful of goldfish, stuffing them in his mouth and devouring them quickly.

"Hey, Noah, be careful. Eat slowly, baby, or you might choke!" I gently warned him. He nodded and started eating a bit more slowly.

“I finished!” He exclaimed a while later “I want to see my surprise now Leah please,please,please ” he pleaded. “Okay sweetheart since you ask so nicely” she responded

“Let’s go my loves! ” she cheered picking up Noah holding him with one arms and reaching out her other hand to me, wriggling her fingers signaling me to take her hand.

I take it and intertwined our fingers,she smiled at me and kissed my knuckles gently.

“Me too” Noah exclaimed reaching a hand towards me I give him my other hand and he copied Leah’s action by kissing my knuckles.

I smiled at him and lightly brushed his cheek with the back of my hand.

We made our way upstairs and stopped in front of a room. I noticed that the door had a sign with the name "Noah" on it. She let go of my hand, placed Noah on the floor, and knelt in front of him, holding his shoulders.

“Ok buddy, so are you ready to see your new bedroom?” Leah told him smiling wildly at him.

“Yes” Noah exclaimed happily jumping up and down. “Okay,love close your eyes” Noah put his small hands over his eyes.

“No peaking!” Leah warned gently also putting her hands over his eyes.Leah turned towards me “Darling, could you please open the door?” She asked me.

“Of course” I got closer to the door, my hand on the handle and opened it.

I was met with a dinosaur themed bedroom, dinosaurs all over the room, literally. Dinosaurs bed sheet, dinosaurs curtains, a shelf full of dinosaurs placed just above the bed, even the wallpaper had little dinosaurs as design.

I was stunned, when did she have the time to do all that?

"Wow" is all I could say, turning to Leah and smiling thankfully at her making wild gesture with my hands. “That’s amazing”I mouthed at her.

"Hey! I wanna see too, mummy, it's MY bedroom." Leah and I both laughed.

"Okay, are you ready, buddy?" Leah asked. "More than ready," he responded enthusiastically. "Okay... at 3, you can open your eyes. 1... 2... 3!" Leah exclaimed, removing her hands from his eyes.

As Noah exclaimed, "WOWWW dinosaurs," I made my way back to Leah. She embraced me from behind, intertwining our fingers and placing our hands on my stomach as we observed Noah dashing around his new bedroom, exploring and marveling at everything he could find.

As Noah got distracted with a dinosaur card game and sat cross-legged in the middle of the room, I turned my head towards Leah, she was already gazing at me with a lovestruck expression. "I think he hates it" she joked, and I chuckled.

She began to gently rock us from side to side.

"When did you find the time to do all this?" I asked.She just shrugged and replied, "I have my ways" winking at me mischievously.

I tenderly kissed her lips. "Thank you, truly, for everything. Thank you for making me and my son happy " I whispered, resting my forehead against hers.

"And thank you for loving me and for allowing me to have a family with you," she expressed, kissing my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and finally my lips.

She pulled away and playfully rubbed our noses together as we giggled.

Our moment was interrupted by little arms wrapping around our legs. "Hey! I'm still here, don't forget about me," Noah exclaimed.

Looking down at him, we chuckled. Leah briefly let go of her embrace around me to lift him up. Holding Noah in one arm and wrapping the other around my waist as she drew me closer to them.

I dramatically gasped, "Oh my days! Leah, how could we have forgotten about the baby?"

"No, I'm not a baby! I'm a big boy, I'm four years old, mommy!" he proudly declared, holding up three fingers.

Leah and I laughed, and I reached for his hands, lifting another one of his little fingers. "Here, darling, four fingers," I pointed out.

Noah glanced at his fingers and let out a soft "oh" of understanding. He then proudly displayed his hand again, this time with four fingers raised, repeating, "Four years old, not a baby!"

"I don't care how old you are, you'll always be my baby" I reassured him, showering him with kisses all over his face.

He squealed and giggled, trying to escape the kiss attack, "Leah, help, please!" he called out to Leah.

"Of course, buddy, I'll help your mom," she replied and joined in, peppering him with kisses all over his face.

He giggled uncontrollably, "It tickles! Stop!" he begged, trying to catch his breath. Leah and I paused, letting him catch his breath.

Taking a deep breath, he rested his head on Leah's shoulder, calming down as I gently rubbed his back.

"Thank you very much for the room, Leah. It's the best room ever, you're the best !" he expressed, placing his tiny hands on Leah's cheeks kissing the tip of her nose.

Leah's heart melted, "You're welcome, buddy. I'd do anything for you. "

"Anything? So, would you please come play dinosaurs with me? You too, Mummy?" he asked hopefully. "Yes, of course, buddy," Leah responded.

We all moved to the center of the room, sitting on the floor. Leah and I sat facing each other, with Noah between her legs as he began explaining how to play dinosaurs.

Later that day, as usual, I was making dinner because Leah is hopeless in the kitchen. Leah and Noah burst into the kitchen with him piggybacking on her, laughing hysterically.

"What's for dinner tonight, love?" she asked. I turned around, wrapped my arms around Leah's neck, and playfully tousled Noah's hair.

"Sorry, guys, but tonight I tried something a bit more daring. So, on the menu tonight: mashed potatoes with a side of broccoli." Leah and Noah both made a face and said, "Ugh, broccoli," in unison.

One thing Noah and Leah shared was their preference for plain food, which can be a bit tricky for me because it's tiring to eat the same dishes every day: gnocchi, ham, pasta, steak, and so on...

"Oh! How could I forget the chicken nuggets?!" I added, as they both cheered, "Chicken nuggets! Chicken nuggets!"

I chuckled and shooed them away so I could get back to cooking.

After an eventful dinner where I attempted to convince two children that broccoli is actually beneficial for them and their health, we settled on the couch to watch a movie.

We were all cozied up on the couch, with Noah nestled between us, clutching his plushie dinosaurs that Leah had given him when they first met.

After about 30 minutes, I realized Noah was already asleep, and I was starting to feel sleepy too.

I gently nudged Leah, who turned to look at me, and I could tell she was also about to doze off. It had been a pretty exhausting day.

"Shall we head to bed?" I asked her, and she nodded. I got up to turn off the TV while Leah picked Noah up.

We made our way upstairs and into Noah’s room. Leah gently laid him on the bed and tucked him in with the duvet.

Noah began to stir. “Mommy?” he whispered, reaching out for me. “Shhh, baby, it’s okay. Go back to sleep,” I soothed, gently brushing his hair back.

“Okay, Mummy. I love you,” he said. “I love you too,” I replied. He then turned his head slightly towards Leah, who was sitting on the bed next to him. “I love you too, Mama,” he whispered.

I froze. It was the first time Noah had said those words—the “I love you” part and, more importantly, the “Mama” part.

I looked at Leah, who appeared as shocked as I was, but she quickly regained her composure and softly whispered, “I love you too, my sweet boy,” before kissing his forehead.

Noah's gentle smile appeared as he drifted back to sleep. Leah and I quietly exited the room, and as she softly shut the door, I noticed tears welling up in her eyes.

"What's the matter? Are you alright?" I asked with concern. "He called me mama and said that he loved me," she whispered gently.

I wrapped my arms around her neck, planting a kiss on her cheek. "Of course, he loves you. Even though he's never said it before, you could feel it, baby," I reassured her, rubbing her back.

She nestled her head on my neck. "My heart is so full right now. I'm so happy," she tearfully expressed.

I pulled away from the hug,held her face in my hands, and gave her a long, passionate kiss on her lips.

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to us," I conveyed once we parted. She smiled softly at me, pulling me into an another embrace.

"Once again, thank you for making me and our son happy," I whispered in her ear. She hugged me tightly and kissed my temple. She softly repeated, "our son..." as if she couldn't quite believe it.

"Come on, let's go to bed," I said after we pulled away, taking her hands in mine and leading us toward our bedroom.

Our first night officially in the new home turned out to be a great success.

[spatialwave]

"all mine."

pairing: lee russell x fem!reader word count: 2.5k summary: as the youngest teacher on staff, you enjoy taking your peers out for a night of dancing, drinking and gossiping. lee russell was one of the few who joined, the married man you’d fallen hopelessly in love with. warnings/tags: mdni! smut, affair/cheating, dirty dancing, oral (m-receiving), verbal degradation, unprotected sex, semi-public sex, i feel like i made lee a little ooc so forgive me!

“oh, come on, lee,” your voice was soft and gentle, humming sweetly like a songbird, “it’s friday night, and you’d rather go home? really?”

hazel eyes settled on you as you shared a table in the staff room. it was sixth period and you had a planning period. you may have been the youngest member of staff, but you were the most organized, meaning you could waste the hour away with your favourite person at north jackson high.

vice principal lee russell.

your bottom lip was jutted out in a pout as he stared at you with his chin in both hands. he kept a straight face for a few moments until he scoffed and waved you away, “don’t give me that fuckin’ look, you’re too good at guiltin’ people into doin’ shit. you’re a bad influence.”

you gasped, sitting up straight, “that’s rich coming from you. i recall you asking me to help you dig dirt on gamby when he was pissing you off last year, and i followed him around for an entire saturday like some serial-killer stalker. a saturday when i was supposed to hang with my girlfriends, mind you, so don’t get all grouchy with me about being a bad influence.”

he pursed his lips and his gaze flickered between your eyes, “fine, if you must know, i’m starting to feel old as shit, okay? everytime we go out i end up at home at four in the goddamn morning with a migraine and the luxury of a two-day fuckin’ hangover” lee admitted, “it’s a real pain in the ass, you know. if it isn’t for you pukin’ your guts out and needin’ help home every weekend, i’d be back home in the comfort of my own bed at a normal fuckin’ time.”

you lips curved into a small smile as you listened to the man whine and complain, “not my fault that someone buys me shots all night.”

“and that was the last time because i learned my fuckin’ lesson. you can’t handle your alcohol,” he pointed a finger at you, lips lifting at the corners to match your sweet, little smile.

lee russell was smitten with you, and it was a slippery slope that he’d been sliding down. he was a married man, after all, but the marriage came with its own complications.

“great talk. i’ll see you tonight, lee.” you winked at him, taking your coffee, and giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze as you walked past him. lee’s eyes stayed on your body, watching your hips sway with each movement.

you had him wrapped around your finger, and he fucking hated it.

loud music and flashing lights filled your senses as you sipped on your vodka soda, waiting for your peers to arrive as time ticked away. amanda, bill and jen were always ready to crush back shots and forget about the bullshit week of classes with you, but even they were late.

you checked your cellphone as you leaned up against the bar, seeing if you had any missed messages from your colleagues. nothing.

you downed the rest of your drink and made a stop in the washroom to touch up your makeup and adjust your outfit—something special you wore in hopes to impress lee. a short, black skirt that hugged your curves and a black halter top held with thin straps that did little to cover your skin.

staring at yourself in the mirror, you felt a mix of emotions, mostly disgust and embarrassment. lee was married, and here you were hurting your feet with four-inch heels and wearing an uncomfortable skirt in hopes that he’d see you and want to ravage you.

all for him to not even show up.

you swallowed your pride. maybe you would forget about the married man if you met someone nice on the dancefloor. someone single and your age.

your heels clicked against the tiled floor as you left the bathroom, eyes flickering around the busy club when your gaze settled on the man you’d fallen madly in love with. he was at the bar with two shots in front of him, hazel eyes eagerly searching for you. you stayed in the shadows a bit longer, your heart rate skyrocketing as you watched him standing there in his dark grey suit with red-patterned button down peeking from underneath.

he was such a dork—a nicely dressed dork.

those eyes you loved flickered in your direction, and your stomach filled with butterflies when his lips pulled into a toothy grin. he hadn’t even needed to beckon you, your legs working beyond your brain as you sauntered to his side.

“lee,” you beamed, wrapping your arms around your friend and giving him a quick hug, smelling the expensive, intoxicating cologne, “you’re the only one who showed,” your breath tickled his ear as you spoke, pulling back with a coy smile in your lips. you were quick to notice the way he looked you up and down, settling on your revealed skin until he met your eyes.

“really? no one else came?” he was shocked as he spoke, “well, those assholes are missing out,” he slid one of the tequila shots over to you, “because tonight is the fucking night we party our goddamn brains out. we’re not goin’ home until the sun is risin’, baby, i promise you that.”

the casual pet name sent a shiver up your spine, “what happened to being too old?” you asked with a smirk.

“a moment of weakness,” lee replied, “i’m lee fuckin’ russell, i’m fuckin’ invincible. i wanna’ get goddamn wasted!”

the tequila was warm down your throat, but you cringed at the taste. your work companion cheered, inhaling through his teeth sharply, “shit, that’s good,” he breathed, waving for the bartender to bring another round as he laid out cash on the counter to pay.

the second one went down smoother than the first, a lazy grin smeared along your lips as you focused your attention back on lee. he was already staring at you, smirking.

“why are you looking at me like a piece of meat?” you teased, licking your lips, and smoothing down the front of his suit with a delicate hand. your nails were painted a deep shade of red that matched his shirt.

“i’m allowed to admire a pretty woman,” he replied oh-so confidently, and you knew that he had showed up to the club with a few drinks already in his system, “did you dress up for me?”

this was the side of lee russell you always enjoyed seeing. the side that focused his attention solely on you, and made you feel wanted.

“you’re so full of yourself,” you laughed, cheeks warm, “i may have kept you in mind when i was getting ready.”

“i can tell,” he cocked his head to the side, unashamed in the way he reached forward and brushed your hair behind your ear. this was wrong on so many levels, but the thrill was a high that you chased, and you dared not to think about the consequences.

with the alcohol coursing through your body and the loud, bass-heavy music guiding your thoughts to the filthiest parts of your mind, you snagged lee’s hand in your own and laced your fingers together. lee russell was in a trance as he watched you lead him where the crowd of clubbers danced together—bodies grinding and arms strung around necks.

you glanced over your shoulder at him, the hunger in his eyes easy to spon even under the unpredictable lighting.

you were about to spin around and face the man, but you were surprised when his free hand landed on your hip, squeezing over the fabric of your skirt. his chest pushed flush against your back, lips tickling against your ear and causing a shudder to escape your lips.

it had been a long time since you danced like this with anyone, most nights you’d jump around the dancefloor with amanda and jen, sharing drunken laughs as lee watched you from afar. this was better.

his hips moved effortlessly with the music, yours moving in tandem as your ass bumped and swayed against the growing hard-on underneath his suit pants. your arms lifted above your head, his hands sliding up and down your sides, feeling over the bare skin revealed by your skimpy outfit.

you looked around the club, blinking and unable to focus on anything with the bright flashes of neon lights and tens of couples in the same situation as yourself. the alcohol had skewed your vision and all you could focus on was how wet you were between your legs, and the feeling of lee’s fingers caressing your exposed skin

“lee,” you breathed his name out as your head lolled back to rest against his shoulder, able to brush your lips against his jaw while hands tightened over your hips, “this is… wrong,” you could hardly speak.

your morals were showing, but you hadn’t the willpower to stop.

“it’s okay,” he hushed, head tilting enough that his lips barely brushed against yours, and it was then the alcohol seemed to hit you all at once.

you were quick to turn around in his arms, wrapping them around his neck and forcing your lips together in a kiss that had been dangling between you two for months. he licked into your mouth, parting your lips until he could slide his tongue against yours, fighting for dominance that wasn’t hard to win and leaving you wanting more.

everything happened fast.

one moment you two were tongue-fucking each other on the dancefloor, the next you were hidden away in the washroom on your knees with lee’s hands in your hair. his length was pushed deep in your throat as you sucked him off, addicted to the way his face twisted in pleasure as your tongue glided along the underside of his cock.

the music was muffled, but the washroom was loud with the sounds of girls chatting and laughing. doing coke together in the stalls, pouring alcohol out from the flasks they snuck in, and making so much noise that you weren’t worried when lee would choke out a moan or gasp your name.

your hands pressed against the front of his thighs as you bobbed your head, lips perfectly wrapped around him as his cock twitched in your mouth.

“get up,” he moaned shakily, taking your hair in his hands and yanking you from his cock. lips parted from it with a soft ‘pop’ and lee wanted so badly to keep going until your makeup was streaming down your cheeks, but he needed you, “i want to fuck you, baby,” he murmured, staring down at your eager, young face, “you won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“mhm,” you whimpered as you stood, and he pinned you against the door of the stall, “it’s our secret, just ours. i promise—”

he shut you up with his lips, a hand reaching down, so his fingers could push past your panties and waste no time in making you squirm and moan. two fingers plunged inside your cunt, and he smiled against your lips, “you’re so easy, aren’t you?”

the degradation wasn’t surprising, and you welcomed it wholly.

“bet you’ll take my cock so fuckin’ easy too, won’t you, baby?” he breathed heavy against your jaw, leaving sloppy kisses against your skin as his fingers stretched you just right, “do you want it? tell me how bad you want my cock and i’ll think about giving it to you.”

“lee,” you squirmed, hips twitching as you tried to stay upright with your legs spread for him, “i want it bad, really fucking bad. please, i need it.”

that’s all it took for lee’s impatience to get the best of him. he hooked one of your legs around his hips and replaced his fingers with his cock, slow as he filled you and pulling back to watch your pretty mouth go slack as your cunt ached around him.

“i’m not on the pill,” you were quick to whisper in his ear, your hips shaking as he started rocking his. you buried your face against his neck, scared to scream his name and let everyone in the bathroom know what you were doing.

“fuck,” he groaned into your ear, one hand on your thigh wrapped around him, the other against the metal stall door next to your head while yours tugged on his hair for dear life, “it’s okay, we’ll be okay. just—fuck,” he couldn’t finish his scrambled thoughts, his mind going blank as he fucked you slow and steady, “just shut up and take it.”

you listened obediently like you always had with him, your head falling back against the door as he fucked you, surprisingly tender in his movements. his hips rocked against yours slowly, stretching deep into your heat and leaving you a pathetic mess that could hardly stand on one foot.

“you’re so tight,” lee grunted, biting underneath your ear hard enough to leave a mark, “and you’re all mine, all fucking mine.”

you pressed a hand to your lips, shutting yourself up as lee’s movements quickened. the stall door started squeaking with each forward kick of his hips, and neither of you cared at this point. all you could do was take it like he told you, legs parted and cunt squeezing around his cock until he came, filling you like he dreamed about doing every night.

the following monday had rolled by too quickly for your liking. you’d spent most of your sunday alone in your apartment, recovering from your night out and wallowing in the guilt that came with being lee’s mistress of the night. he’d gone home before sunrise, dropping you off at home in your shared taxi and sending you off with a kiss that had you feeling all kinds of confused.

your stomach twisted as you thought about seeing him today.

the morning bell hadn’t rung yet, and you were lounging in the staff room with a coffee in your hands and listening to the chatter of teachers having their last few moments of freedom.

“bummer that you had to cancel saturday night,” amanda’s voice caught your attention as she walked into the staff room, “but i hope you’re feeling better. there is nothing worse than wasting your weekends being sick.”

you perked up, confusion on your face as she poured her coffee.

“after lee let us all know you weren’t feeling good on friday he planned for us to go to this new bar on the other side of town. it was actually really fun, but can you believe this?” she peered over her shoulder to look at you, “he didn’t even show up.”

[iluvapplesxh]

Hi I was wondering if you if you could Billie is angry at us and yells and ignores us and we are nervous and scared of if she doesn’t want to be with us anymore I love your angst ones with Billie because in the end there are so sweet and I feel like a lot of people and myself can relate to wanting someone to understand and love us

☞☞☞☞Love Is Pain☜☜☜☜

summary: Words, which were not meant to be said, thrown at each other angrily. Words which cut deep and made you doubt close to everything. But love was a pain you were ready to bare.

warnings: panic attack, angst, fight, mentions of past trauma (kinda), little fluff at the end. !ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!

A/N: Hii, anon! it's my first request, so pls be kind. I am not sure if this is exactly what you wanted but I did what I could!

You sat on your couch in the shared apartment you and your girlfriend of 6 months had. Said apartment was silent, you could hear a pin drop if it were to be dropped. Earlier that night, you and Billie had been at a small friendly gathering at a mutual friend’s house, and everything was going great. You and Billie were by one another’s side most of the time, making conversations and such. Well that was until that loving mutual friend sat down next to the two of you on the couch and started talking to Billie about something that happened when you weren’t there.

It would have been fine, you were a busy person so of course there would be some times and memories of Billie’s that you are not part of, but the way Billie unwrapped her arm from around your waist and turned her whole body towards the other girl, her eyes shining with interest as the other girl told the story, the way your friend placed her hand on your girlfriend’s arm as she spoke, shifting closer and closer until their legs were pressed together, Billie’s arm now resting on the back of the couch behind your friend.

Maybe you were overreacting, or maybe you were rightfully upset, but nonetheless, you told your girlfriend you weren’t feeling well in hopes to just escape and go back home together. But no. She had barely turned her attention to you and waved you off with not even as much as a ‘See ya’. 

It made your heart ache and your stomach drop. But you didn’t let it show as you left the house, deciding to leave Billie’s car for her and instead took an uber home. 

It has been hours. And you had seen no sign of a text or call, or her in general. True, you should have been at least a little bit worried but you just couldn’t get that careless response out of your head. It was like you were just like every other person she meets everyday.

And it stung.

Like a bitch.

So, no surprise, when you finally heard the front door open, heavy footsteps approaching the living room through the hallway, you stood up with an angry expression, watching as your girlfriend walked into the living room.

“I didn’t know you left” 

You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest at her words. “I told you, but you seemed all too interested in what Amanda had to say…” 

Billie’s eyebrows furrowed and her hand dropped her cap down on the dresser next to her. “What? What are you implying, baby?” She asked, disbelief clear in her voice.

You shook your head, pressing your lips together before a dry chuckle escaped your lips. “Come on, now you’re gonna pretend you didn’t ignore me, or better said, waved me off, when I asked if we could leave?”

Billie’s jaw clenched as she sighed. “Fine, okay. I’m sorry. Happy?” She held out her arms as she approached you, standing face-to-face with you in front of the dark gray L-shaped couch.

A short breath came out of your mouth as you scoffed once more, your tongue swiping across your front teeth. “No. You-You treated me like I was just one of the Billion people on earth” 

Billie sighed and rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you?”

Your mouth hung open at her response, a sharp pain shooting through your chest when she said that. You blinked multiple times, your throat tightening up before you cleared it. “What..?” The words were barely above a whisper as your shoulders slumped.

Billie groans and scoffs. “I don’t have the energy for this, man. Why do you have to be so sensitive?” It seems as though Billie is not aware of what she’s saying. Or well, maybe she was. But you didn’t want to think that. No. That would hurt more. To know she’d knowingly say those words to you.

“Billie, I’m trying to-” 

Your words were cut off by another roll of Billie’s eyes and her looking away. “No. You are being such a baby about this. I was just interested in what Amanda had to say”

You swallowed hard and took in a deep breath. “I…that would have been fine if you didn’t ignore me.” You couldn’t help but feel a pang of shame shoot through you. She’s right. You were being dramatic.

“Oh my God!” Her voice was loud and it made you flinch a little as she threw her hands up. “Why are you being like this? I already told you I was sorry!”

You bit your lip, looking down for a moment, tears welling in your eyes before you blinked them back and shook your head. “I’m just saying, that you shouldn’t have-..”

“And I don’t care! I’m tired as shit!” She exclaimed and you took a step back. “I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with your bullshit right now!” Her voice was harsh, ringing loudly in your ears and through the apartment. She ran a hand through her dark hair and let out a deep breath. 

“Billie…-” 

She shook her head and pushed past you, your shoulders bumping harshly as she walked away. “Come to me when you’re less of a whiny baby!” She called out before shutting your bedroom door behind her, leaving you standing in your living room, defeated and belittled. 

You didn’t go to bed that night. Just laid on the couch, knees up to your chest as the fight ran through your head over and over again. It hurt. A lot. But of all the questions running around your head, the biggest one of them all was ‘why?’.

Billie has never been mean to you. Ever. True, the two of you had minor fights before but in the end one of the two of you always apologized. This didn’t feel like that. It felt big. Heavy. Like there will be no apology. No hug in the morning with an ‘I’m so sorry, baby’ whispered into your ear. No sweet nothings. 

It was only around 3Am when the tears had finally stopped flowing, your breathing calmed. But your thoughts didn’t. And neither did the pain in your chest fade. Or the tight knot in your stomach loosen. You wondered if she had fallen asleep, or if she had been in the same state as you. Restless. Head spinning with loud thoughts. Afraid.

Early in the morning, your arms had gone numb being tucked under your chest while lying down. So, you decided to get up, walk around the apartment until you got bored of it and just sat down by the kitchen table. Your head was in your hands, hair clutched between your fingers while your teeth bit the inside of your cheek. 

This fight brought back things you thought you had buried deep. Into the back of your mind where they wouldn’t resurface again. The thoughts which were now once again coming back, ones you thought you’d never have to hear again. It was like you were drowning, and you weren’t exactly unfamiliar with the feeling. No. But it had been years since you felt it, and it came back 10x stronger. Your hearing was muffled, your heart beating in your ears loudly and your breathing grew hurried, taking breath after breath at a fast pace as you felt like your lungs were being squeezed tightly, like you were being choked by something.

And although in the past you knew how to do this, to deal with it, you never could do it alone, so there was always someone helping, assuring you. Not this time. No, you were alone and the worst part was, you deserved it. Well, no. Not exactly, but everything in your head was telling you so, and who were you to  deny? To think; ‘No, you don’t. And you’re not alone, you have Billie’. But did you…?

It felt like you were losing your grip on reality. Everything was a blur as time ticked by with you sitting on the wooden chair by the kitchen table, chest heaving and eyes squeezed shut. Your breath was taken away from you, the air not going in or coming out of your lungs and you felt light-headed. But the sweet escape didn’t come. You didn’t fall down to the floor, unconscious. You stayed upright, fighting an inner battle with yourself, and you were very much losing.

You could hear Billie’s harsh and loud voice echoing in the back of your head with every attempt to breathe. And soon those salty tears were falling down on your face again, your fingers grasping your hair into your fists. Your head hurt, but you couldn’t tell if it was from you pulling your own hair or the lack of air, or the crying.

When Billie woke up from her restless slumber, her chest hurt. Like something wasn’t right. And something in fact wasn’t. Because when she opened her eyes, her arms moved to wrap around your body, but there was nothing, no one. She sat up abruptly and looked around for a moment before the memories came flooding back and she cursed, throwing the blanket off of her body and standing so fast her head spun.

She had no explanation. No excuse for her behavior last night and it pained her. 

She only wasted a couple of moments before rushing towards the closed bedroom door, ripping it open and stepping out. Her expression was one of worry and regret. She frantically looked around for you, everywhere with her breathing increasing in speed with every empty room.

Finally, when she found you, slumped against the kitchen table, your breathing fast and ragged, her worry didn’t ease. It was only the guilt that increased as she approached you.

You didn’t seem aware of her presence at all as she paused by your side, her hand in the air, ready to place a comforting hand on your back but she hesitated. She was mean. To you. And she couldn’t take it back.

It was only when a sob ripped through your chest that she placed her hand on your back, her finger bunching the fabric of your shirt gently as she leaned  down, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath before speaking.

“Baby?”

Your head shot up when an outside voice rang through your head. Red, tear-filled eyes looking up into Billie’s. You saw her hold back from looking away. The obvious pain and conflict in your eyes and expression hurting her. She couldn’t even imagine what was going on inside your head.

When you tried to speak, only a cry and a short-lived breath came out. Billie immediately stood, shaking her head. “Sh, sh, sh, baby. It’s okay. Don’t speak.” Her hand left your back and moved to cup your face, wiping away the tears. “Breathe with me. Come on. I know you can” Her voice was gentle as she spoke. She took a deep, slow breath in and you tired following but failed, more tears falling down at your failure. 

Billie sighed, feeling her own tears spilling before she blinked and wiped them with her free hand.  She nodded. “Okay. It’s alright. One more time, yeah?” You nodded shortly at her words. “Mhm, okay, In..” She took a deep breath in and you followed suit, inhaling shakily. “And out” She exhaled slowly and you did the same. Her other hand came up to wipe away the strands of hair stuck to your sweat littered forehead as she repeated with you a couple more times.

“Yes, that’s it. You’re doing amazing, pretty girl” She murmurs, leaning down to press her lips on the top of your head. “Breathe” Her hand strokes your hair gently. It’s shaking the slightest bit, her heart aching horribly at the sight in front of her. 

When your breathing finally calms, the thoughts stop and the world doesn’t spin anymore. You’re no longer drowning.

Billie feels you calm down and she pulls back, swallowing hard. Her icy blue eyes studying your face for a moment. There was a long moment of silence between the two of you before Billie reluctantly took a step back. Guilt eating away at her, like her heart got caught in a bear-trap.

She clenches her jaw, steadying herself before speaking. “I’m…I’m sorry” You stare at her, your feelings a mess as you took in her words. “Look-...I have,” She shook her head, her lips pressing together, forming a thin line. “I have no excuse…for how I-...”

You stand on shaky legs and take an unsure step towards her. “Wait. Can-...Can I talk first?” Your voice was small and hoarse as you spoke. Billie nodded her head, her words dying in her throat. “What you said…it hurt” You took a deep breath. “And how you  acted hurt more.” Your words each felt like a push on the bear-trap around her heart. “And-...I was scared.” Your voice broke and you shut your eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I didn’t think you…” You paused, gaze falling to the ground as your nails dug into your palms. “I didn’t know if you’d stay” It was a whisper, barely audible but Billie heard. And her tears fell as she shook her head.

She took a step forward, too. “No, no. Don’t say that” Her face crumbled and she cupped your cheeks once more, swallowing down her sobs. “This was all on me. I shouldn’t have said those things” When your mouth opened to speak, she shushed you again. “And I am so fucking sorry” She dropped her hands and looked away. “God, love, I don’t think I was even thinking…” 

It was your turn to shake your head, reaching for her warm hands, holding them in yours. You sighed. “I…I know, baby.” You whispered softly, your hands giving hers a comforting squeeze. “I’m sorry, too. Because it is not all your fault, okay?”

Billie nodded her head and let go of your hands, reaching behind you and putting them on the small of you back as she pulled you into her. Your arms wrapped around her shoulders. “I made you have a panic attack” She whispered and you paused before hugging her tighter. 

“It’s not-..” 

“Yes.” She nods against your shoulder. “It is. Just-...” One of her hands came up to rest on the back of your head. “Talk to me. Okay? Don’t let me treat you like that ever again, baby.” 

You sighed and nodded, closing your eyes. “You won’t” 

The two of you stayed there a while. Just in each other’s arms. You both knew this was not going to be your last fight. But, looking at it differently, maybe that’s a good thing.

A/N: ughh, the ending is shit. sorry. I kinda made this in a little rush but hope its satisfactory. Btw! I have never had a panic attack before! Or at least I think. But I tried my best to write it!

[doudouneverte]

Flustered swedish

a/n: just a little Idea on my mind...

Pairing: Stina Blackstenius x FRAWNT!reader; Arsenal WFC x reader.

Summary: Arsenal signed a new and mysterious player but it's seem that some of them already know her

Type: Fluffy as f-

Warning: me who give you a surprise fic but don't finish an other 😭

word count: 1746

-----

Everybody knew Stina was a rather private person, and everybody was okay with this. Things didn't change even when she was transferred to Arsenal.

After the World Cup, she was rather surprised to be welcomed with the news of a new transfer. With Amanda, who signed for the gunners just before the tournament, they were trying to guess which sort of player could be their new teammate.

While the girls were getting ready, they heard someone knock on the door, and all the girls looked at them. You were there with Jonas, waiting for him to introduce you to your new team.

"Girl, this is Y/n, our new recruit. I'll let her introduce herself and get ready for training." He announced to them. "And don't worry, they kind of looked scary, but they don't bite. Well, maybe Katie can." He said to you just too loud to be heard by the Irish girl who protested before he left the room.

When the door got closed, you had all eyes on you, and you guessed it was your time to start to speak.

"Hi, I'm Y/n Y/l/n; I'm a full back. I played for the PSG, and I play for the France national team." You said trying to not stutter and give a bad first impression. The girls didn't have time to say anything before Amanda came to hug you.

"I knew you would follow me. You can't get rid of me." She joked, making you chuckle lightly. After that, the rest of the room came to welcome you. Stina being the last one, everybody noticed your change when you shook the striker's hand.

"Well, isn't that Mrs. Blackstenius?" You asked loudly and the Swedish player rolled her eyes.

"Happy to see you too, Y/n." She replied sarcastically, which made Lina and Amanda laugh quietly.

"Do we have to worry that they will rip each other's heads apart?" Lia asked Lina.

"No, don't worry, they played together back in Montpelier." The second Swedish informed them.

During the training, everyone saw something; you were close to the Swedish players, but even more so with Stina. Sometimes girls could hear you make jokes, to which the striker would just roll her eyes before a smirk appeared on her face.

After training, it was time to go back home. "So can you tell us how you ended up here without us knowing anything?" Amanda asked when the only ones in the changing room were the three Swedish players and you.

"I asked Johanna to pick me up at the airport, and she also drove me here. Which means—" You looked at Stina and said, "We'll have to go to her home before we go to ours." 

The striker didn't complain and just grabbed her bag and your hand before leading you out of the room. You stayed there until you reached her car, and she had to let you sit on the passenger side.

"I hope you like your–" You didn't finish your sentence before her lips were glued against yours. She only broke it when oxygen became a necessity.

"I missed you. You don't know how much I'm happy that you finally joined me." She confessed.

"I'm sure you'll have all the time to show me this after we get my things from Jo." You said with a mischievous smile.

The next few days were strange for the Arsenal girls. It was not difficult to talk to you; you were rather open about everything. That helped them learn more about you and how you were so friendly with the Swedish players. But something was still on almost everyone's minds: you said that you had a wife, but some of them heard you shamelessly flirt with Stina.

"I don't think it's a good idea to let Y/n flirt like that with Stina." Steph proposed to some teammates while they saw you telling what seemed like a good joke, judging by your proud face and the laughing face of the Swedish woman.

"Maybe they're just good friends," Caitlin said.

"Friends don't look at each other like they did." Lia said, pointing out how much they saw you do the heart eyes to the blonde.

"You should see how Stina looked at her when we were training today." Viv said as she joined the group.

"See? Even Viv noticed it." Steph said to her national teammate, obviously not replying when the Dutch asked her what she meant.

The girls were about to say something when they saw you walking near them to join Kyra and Vicky, who called you for something.

"It's time." Steph said, and the group quickly stood up to have a little talk with their teammate.

Stina was doing some exercise and entertaining a little chat with her Swedish teammates, and Frida, who joined them just after you left, when she saw the girls stopping in front of her.

"Is everything okay?" She asked when she noticed the expressions of her teammates.

The girls exchanged glances to see who would talk first. When she felt that nobody would, Leah took things into her hands. "Stina, I—no, we think you need to stop what you and Y/n are doing." The captain said, earning a strange look from all the Scandi girls.

"What do you mea–" Amanda started, but she was cut when you came back from your little chat with the youngies.

"Hey Blackstenius, isn't it funny that I'm the French one but Eiffel for you?" You said with a comical wink, which made Lina and Amanda burst into laughter while the striker just blushed very hard. "Okay, now I have to go." You said this before leaving, leaving the girls completely speechless.

"What just happened?" Caitlin asked.

"I think we will need to have a talk with her too. She can't just do that." Steph said.

~~~

This evening, you were cooking when Stina suddenly came to you with an amusing look. You looked at her with a confused expression while she just laughed at something on her phone.

"Hey, what is it?" You asked a little jealous to not be in the confidence.

"The girls came to me today. They told me that you need to stop flirting with me like that. They find it very inappropriate because you have a wife, and it's very irrespective to her." 

"Well, too bad. I love to flirt with her in front of everyone, even if they don't know who she is." You replied. The blonde took your hands, wrapped them around her waist, and placed hers around your neck.

"I know you want to tell them, but you can't deny that it's funny to see them freak out." She pointed, making you chuckle.

"Okay, but we will have to tell them soon because I started to feel a little impressed with their bad looks." You said this before pressing a light kiss on her lips.

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry, we will–" She was cut off by the doorbell, making her look at you a little confused. "You waited for someone?"

"I invited Jo, but she shouldn't have been here for at least thirty minutes, I think." You replied while you made your way to the front door.

"Maybe it's your wife." Stina joked.

"Oh, welcome, my lov–oh." In front of you were Steph, Caitlin, Lia, and Leah. "Well, good evening, I think." You said and let them enter, a little unsure of what was happening.

"Älskling (Darling), who is this?" Stina said coming out of the kitchen. "Oh. Well, good evening... I think." She said to the girls.

The girls looked at you, then at her, more confused than before.

"What's happening here? And what are you doing here?" Leah asked you.

"Well, I can ask you the same thing. We were expecting Jo and Zećira, but I think you're welcome too." You replied.

"Wait. Can we please restart it slowly? First, what is Y/n doing here, and second "Jo and Zećira"? Like Kaneryd and Mušović from Chelsea?" Caitlin asked.

"First, we live together; second, yeah; and to finish, what are you doing here?" Your wife was more confused than angry.

"Well, we want to see you, and—wait! Did you say that you live together?" Lia asked.

"Yeah, I mean, it's okay to live with my wife, until there is a law that I don't know yet that says the opposite." You replied with a little bit of sarcasm in your tone.

"Your wife?" They all asked at the same time.

"Surprise," Stina said, showing them her ring.

"Why is it the first time we see this?" Steph asked this time.

"She usually leaves it home when she has to train because she loses things easily." You replied, making your wife throw a pillow at you.

"Since when?" The Swiss woman asked visibly more calm than the others.

"Three years now, but I already told you that last week." You said.

"No, until a few seconds ago, we thought that you were married to some random woman, not one of our teammates." Leah said.

"Okay, it's not that I don't want to talk, but I need to finish cooking, so I let you with her." You said heading directly to your previous location.

From the kitchen, you could hear how the girls didn't stop asking all sorts of questions to the striker, and you were mentally laughing just by imagining the face she should make at this moment. Yes, you didn't really yell everywhere that you were engaged to the Swedish player, but it was never really taboo every time someone asked you what your relationship was with her.

The meal was just ready when you heard the front open and close a few seconds later and heard your wife's footsteps coming to where you were. Being taller than you, she wrapped her arms around your torso and rested her head on top of yours before taking a deep breath.

"Please don't let me reply to those questions alone next time, please." She said dramatically, making you laugh.

"I'm sorry, mon amour (my love), but you nailed it, like always." You replied and turned around to face her. She was about to kiss you, but you gently put your finger on top of her lips. "I think I heard someone ring outside." You said.

"What do you–" she couldn't say something before both heard the ring bell a second time. The blonde rolled her eyes but finally let your body.

[spenceragnewfics]

perhaps a fic where y/n does something stupid and reckless to get spencer's attention. and he's wildly concerned but also "wtf y/n you don't need to do all that, you HAVE my attention"

This took longer than usual, but I'm not going to stress myself out by trying to get something out every day and just take my time.

LIGHT BURNS | Spencer Agenew x F!Reader

TW: Jealousy, small injury

Word Count: 2.06k

Description: Spencer and Y/N are the mom and dad of the Smosh office, but what happens when a new games editor appears and takes a lot of Spencer's attention?

Love is a bizarre thing. Many people know this and have done awful, strange, and crazy things for it. That’s the current situation Y/N is in.

Y/N and Spencer have been dating for years. The two have been friends since before they started working at Smosh and dating since their college years. The two are practically married but are just waiting for the right moment.

Many of the new cast members see them as the company’s mom and dad with their relationship dynamic, at least until a new games editor came in. 

“Babe! I want you to meet someone.” Spencer says, seeing Y/N sitting at her desk in the unscripted pod. She looks up from her screen with a loving smile, “Of course, is this the new editor people have been talking about?” She asks, getting out of her chair.

“Yeah, this is Cordelia. Cordelia, this is Y/N. She’s one of our unscripted producers and editor. She’s also my girlfriend.” He says, moving to the side to reveal a woman no more than 5’2” with thick curly hair and beautiful tan skin. 

She’s never really been taken aback by a woman but there is no denying how beautiful she is. “It’s nice to meet you, Cordelia.” She puts her hands out for her to shake, and the girl hesitates before shaking it. “Nice to meet you too, Spencer don’ you think we need to continue the tour?” Y/N looks at the girl shocked then looking at Spencer.

“Uh, yeah, we can just give me a minute.” He says and she walks away without another word. “Is she…did I do something?” Y/N asks, noticing the weird behavior. “I think she’s just getting used to a new setting.  I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” He assures, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

She feels her face heat up from the sweet gesture as she smiles, “Okay, whatever you, Mr. Director.” Spencer smirks at the nickname and hums as he pulls her in, “And since when do you call me that?” She shrugs as she wraps her arms around his neck and his wrap around her waist.

“I thought it’d be a nice addition.” She teases before leaning in, he leans in as well. Their lips are just centimeters away when, “Hey, Spencer, umm, really need to continue this tour.” Cordelia says, popping her head into the pod. Y/N leans her head on his shoulder as he looks at the younger girl, “I will be right there, sorry.” He apologizes and then kisses Y/N’s temple.

“Hey, I love you, and I’ll see you later. Okay?” He asks, leaning back to look at Y/N. “Yeah, I’ll see you later. I love you too.” He pecks her lips before walking out of the pod. 

What she hoped was just a first-day standoff, turns out to be a constant thing. Cordelia is nice to everyone except Y/N. Whenever the woman is in the room or close by, she always walks away or gives her the silent treatment.

Usually, she would ask Spencer about this stuff but lately, he’s been busy helping Cordelia. It seems like no matter what, she always needs help, and since Spencer was the main editor for games for so long, he’s always helping.

She’s tried so many things to get his attention but he always assures her that they can talk later, but they never do. It’s been almost a month of this going on and she’s at her wits end with it.

“Honestly, I don’t know what’s going on! He’s been so distant lately and it’s killing me because he’s always with Cordelia. I don’t know why, but something about her feels off.” She says to Angela, Chanse, Courtney, and Amanda during lunch. “Really? She’s always nice to me.” Amanda says and Y/N rolls her eyes.

“That’s why it’s weird! She’s nice to everyone but me. It’s like she has something against me and all I’ve ever done was say hi.” Courtney looks at her confused, “Do you think she might not like you because you’re Spencer’s girlfriend?” They ask.

“What? Do you think she has a crush on him or something?” She looks around the table confused. “I think she absolutely does, girl. She’s always hanging around him and I know she can edit those videos herself. I’ve seen her do it but always ‘messes up’ so Spencer can come and help.” Chanse says, crossing his arms.

“You need to talk to him. I don’t think he understands what’s going on. Have you told him how you feel about all this?” Angela asks and Y/N shakes her head. “That’s where you’re messing up. You need to tell him how this whole thing is making you feel. Spencer is one of the few guys who understands how to talk about feelings.” Angela says, looking at the woman with sincere eyes.

“Okay, I will after this upcoming shoot. That’ll finish the shoot week and he’ll be a bit less stressed.” Y/N declares before moving topics of conversation.

About an hour later, Alex Tran comes running up to Y/N in her pod. “Y/N, we need someone to take over for Chanse. He got sick and we don’t have anyone else available.” He’s breathless and a small amount of sweat is on his forehead. “Alex, did you seriously run over here from the games stage?” She asks amused while giving him a tissue to wipe the sweat off.

“Yeah, I did. Spencer said it’s an emergency so I went with our emergency backup for games videos, you.” She had agreed to be an emergency backup for gaming videos when Specner became the director of programming. She thought with how much she and him played video games then she could do well when needed.

“I’ll be right there Alex. Grab a water from my mini-fridge before you go to cool off.” He nods, leaning down to grab water before walking away and Y/N is walking behind him. He holds the door open for her and it catches the attention of everyone on the stage.

“What’s up, every pony!” Her voice announces happily, excited to be filming with her friends. “Y/N!” Shayne cheers, making her laugh. She looks over to see Spencer is over with Coredelia, talking about something and not even looking up. Her face turns into a sad expression, not used to being ignored by him. Usually, he’s the first one to notice her but it’s like she’s not even there.

She sits between Arasha and Trevor, looking at her hands and not saying anything. Trevor wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side when he sees how sad she is. “We’re playing one of your favorites, All Rise.” The game makes her smile as memories of the last time everyone played was when so many inside jokes were made. While she didn’t play herself, she was seated not too far away watching.

She hugs Trevor before sitting up, “Thanks for trying to make me feel better, Trev.” He shrugs like it’s nothing as Spencer looks up from Coredelia’s screen. “Oh, hey babe, I didn’t even hear you come in.” He walks over, kissing the top of her head before going over to the camera.

During the kiss, she looked over to Coredelia glaring at her. ‘She does have a crush on Spence!’ Y/N thinks to herself before turning to the camera. The group of Shayne. Courtney, Arasha, Trevor, and Y/N play the game full of laughs, inside jokes, new jokes made, and sweet times throughout the whole time. It helped distract Y/N from the whole thing going on with the new editor having a major crush on her boyfriend until the game was over at least.

It took no more than a minute for Spencer to call wrap and Cordelia walked over to him, “Hey, Spencie.” She says, making everyone shocked at the nickname. “Yes, Cordelia?” He asks, his voice neutral. “Can you show me how to-”

Y/N tunes out what she asks her boyfriend as she continues to sit at the table. Her fingers mess with the promise ring Spencer gave her last year on their anniversary as her mind races. “Hey, Y/N/N. We’re gonna go get some coffee. Do you wanna come with?” Arasha asks, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“No thanks, Rasha. I’ll be okay. Y’all have fun though.” The girl nods before hugging her and walking over to the group leaving the set. She continues to sit there, not noticing everyone leaving except Cordelia and Spencer. “I feel like such an idiot. I’ve been here two months and I still don’t understand this whole format.” Cordelia says, not noticing Y/N still on set.

“It’s okay. It takes time. Now that you got it taken care of, I think it’s best if you go back to the pod and finish up.” Spencer tries to get her to leave but she refuses. “Well, I wanted to talk to you about something.” She says, putting her laptop down as she stands up.

Y/N looks over confused until she sees the look on Cordelia’s face. It’s a flirty look, “Look, I know you and Y/N have been together a long time-” She starts and Y/N doesn’t hesitate to look around for something. Standing on her chair she reaches up to grab a stage light but burns her hand.

“Fuck, oh my god!” She yells, holding her hand as she starts to wobble on the chair. Cordelia and Spencer look over, and while she looks upset his face fills with worry. “Love, what did you do?!” He asks while running over to her.

Y/N doesn’t get to answer as the chair moves out from under her and she starts to fall, “Spencer!” She screams and braces for impact with the table but it doesn’t happen.

Opening her eyes, she sees her boyfriend looking like he almost saw her die. “Baby, baby, are you okay? What the hell did you do that for?!” His voice is full of concern but definitely louder than normal. Y/N doesn’t say anything, looking away from him.

“Spencer-” Cordelia starts to say before he looks at her, pissed beyond doubt. “Cordelia, you need to leave the stage right now or so help me God you will be out of here in two fucking minutes!” He yells. She doesn’t waste a second, running off the stage and leaving the couple alone. 

“Now, Y/N, tell me why you did this.” He says, looking at her hand to see how bad the burn is. “It’s nothing, I was being stupid is all.” She mutters, not wanting to admit she was jealous and trying to get his attention.

Gently grabbing her face, he makes her look at him. His blue and hazel eyes locked onto hers, “I know you're lying. Tell me, please.”

“You’ve been spending so much time with Cordelia and I got jealous. I wanted your attention so I…I did something stupid.” He looks at her amused, “Why are you jealous? She’s just some girl. You’re my girlfriend, my soulmate, the love of my life.”

“You didn’t even notice me when I walked in. You’ve barely been acknowledging my existence.” She stresses, sitting up and moving away from him a bit. “I’ve felt like I’m on a lonely island for a month and it sucks, Spence. I like being a small island with you, not alone.”

“What do you mean I’ve barely acknowledged you? It may not be as obvious but I’m always looking at you or for you. You are my every thought when I need comfort or just to feel better. Babe, you are my everything and I need you to know that.” He assures her, moving closer and moving hair away from her face.

“I’m sorry.” She apologizes, feeling like an asshole. “It’s okay, now let's get your hand taken care of then we can figure out this whole Cordelia thing.” He helps her stand up and wrap an arm around her waist.

“You know, you’re really sexy when you yell.” She says as they walk off the stage and his response is a simple smirk.

[thrillered]

You know I Mountain Dew it for ya Pt.2 | Spencer Agnew x F!Reader |

Pt. 2: Release Day

“Okay this is ridiculous, I have nothing to wear!” You groaned, sifting through your closet. 

“You could wear anything and look good Y/N,” Angela replied, sitting cross legged on your bed, “But! If you want my advice, I think that light blue dress you have would be gorg’”

You grabbed both of her hands, “this is why I keep you around. You, my lovely Ang, are a genius.”

You grabbed the dress and a pair of white heels, walking to the bathroom and getting dressed. You touched up your makeup and stood back, looking at yourself in the mirror. The dress was form fitting, went to your mid-thigh, and had a heart shaped cut-out on your chest, revealing a modest amount of cleavage. The light blue complimented your skin and eyes, brightening your face and making you look as if you were glowing. 

You opened the bathroom door, fluffing your hair as you waited for Angela to look at you. 

“Holy Shit!” Angela screeched, seeing you all dressed up. “You look so good, Spencer’s not gonna be able to take his eyes off you!”

“Oh hush, I don’t know what you’re insinuating.” 

“There’s no insinuating anything, I heard your song, it’s 100% about him.” she continued, making note of the blush on your neck and cheeks.

“We’re gonna be late.. Why don’t we leave?” You asked, hoping to change the conversation. 

– 

Spencer stood at the bar, watching his coworkers mingle as everyone waited for you. He must have checked his watch five times in the past two minutes, beginning to worry that you weren’t going to show up. He was about to call you, clicking on your pinned messages to make the call when the crowd cheered, different voices calling your name. 

He looked up to see you greeting people near the door, giving hugs as you said your hello’s. He smiled as he watched you, happy that you came to the party. The more he looked at you the less he wanted to look away. His eyes roamed your body, taking in every inch of you. It felt like all of the air had been knocked out of him, he didn’t have the words to describe how incredible you looked. You looked like an angel, he thought, some otherworldly being made of pure beauty. 

You looked around, searching for a certain pair of green eyes. Making sure you didn’t accidentally ignore anyone you continued to greet your friends as you looked around for your best friend. Finally you found the man you were looking for, when you made eye contact with him you both smiled widely. You ran the short distance across the bar and all but jumped into his arms. 

“Hi Spencer!” You beamed, leaning back from the hug to look in his eyes, his hands sitting at your waist. “Are you excited to hear the song?”

“Incredibly so” He smiled before grabbing your hand and giving you a twirl, “You look great, this is a really good color on you.” He remarked, hoping didn’t notice his clammy hands and you couldn’t see the effect you were having on him. 

“Well aren’t you just the sweetest,” you said, flagging the bartender down to order a drink to begin the night. 

– 

The party was in full swing. You were currently nursing your second drink, feeling light and happy being around all of your favorite people. The place everyone had reserved was a karaoke bar that you all frequented. You were watching Courtney and Amanda absolutely kill their karaoke rendition of “Don’t Go Breaking my Heart”. 

When the song came to a close Courtney thanked everyone before making an announcement. “We are only two minutes away from a certain release so I want to invite Y/N up here to introduce it!.”

You blushed as you stepped up onto the small stage, taking the microphone Courtney was handing you. “Thank you guys for doing this for me, it means so much more than you know.” You began, looking out to the smiles, applause, and cheers from your friends. “This song was a lot of fun to write and it’s probably the piece I'm most proud of, it has a special place in my heart and I can’t wait for you guys to hear it… Warning though.. It’s kind of an earworm” You laughed, stepping off the stage as you watched the countdown on the screen.

“Five, four, three, two, one!” everyone chanted, quieting as the first few notes played through the speaker. 

“Now he’s, thinking ‘bout me, everynight oh, is it that sweet? I guess so. Say you can’t sleep? Baby I know, that’s that me, espresso”

Your heart was pounding as the people you admire the most listened to your song. Everyone was giving you smiles and encouragement as they danced along to the song. 

“Move it up, down, left, right oh, switch it up like nintendo” Spencer shook you a little hearing this line, his face lighting up at the mention of the gaming console. He thought it was so cool that you were mixing your passions like this. 

The song continued and you joined in on the dancing, singing along to the song. You danced with Angela and Chanse as the first verse played. You wanted to be with Spencer for a specific lyric so you slowly detached yourself from your small dance circle and squeezed your way to Spencers side.

“Walked in and dream came trued it for ya, soft skin and I perfumed it for ya.” You sang to him, feeling a bit looser after finishing your second drink. He nodded his head with the beat and gave you an impressed look, clearly enjoying the song. 

“I know I Mountain Dew it for ya.” You winked at Spencer, pulling him to dance with you, the alcohol giving you a slight boost of confidence as you continued singing to him, “That morning coffee brewed it for ya. One touch and I brand newed it for ya.”

Spencer couldn’t contain the heavy blush that stained his face and neck hearing that lyric. Was this song about him? He wondered, drawing comparison after comparison. Not that he was upset by it, it just surprised him, especially with how passionate the song is. 

He could barely keep up with his thoughts as you danced with and on him, clearly having the time of your life now that your friends were supporting you and loving the song. Your voice pulled him from his thoughts, only hearing the end of your sentence before you walked away from him. He watched as you went back to the bar and ordered a water before ordering another drink. 

He listened intently to the song, attempting to commit each lyric to memory on his first listen. The song faded out and the crowd cheered and whistled, shouting praises to you. You were beaming from ear to ear, your heart so full of love and thanks. 

“Again!” Ian shouted, you giggled as the DJ restarted the song. 

The rest of the night was incredible, you felt so much love from your friends and were so happy they all supported you so much. Your gratitude was overwhelming, beginning to manifest itself in the form of tears. The four seltzers also probably contributing to the emotional response. 

It was two a.m before the crowd started to disperse, saying their goodbyes and congratulations to you. The air of the bar had become thick with sweat and joy, making the late night feel refreshing as you stepped outside, Spencer’s arm around you as you wiped tears away from laughing. 

The last small group (Angela, Shayne, Courtney, Spencer, and yourself) said their goodbyes and headed to their rides, Shayne driving Courtney and Angela while Spencer offered to bring you home. 

You sat in Spencer's car, grateful he hadn’t drank because you loved these late night drives with him. “So did you like the song?” you asked, a shy smile playing on your lips as you looked at Spencer, the red of the stoplight illuminating his face, casting shadows from his strong nose and chin. 

“It’s awesome Y/N, you're very talented” He began, sending you a smile, “But, I tell you that all the time.”

“It's been out for four hours now, I wonder if any fans have listened to it.” You wondered aloud. 

“I’m sure they have and I'm even more sure they loved it. I think we have the hit of the summer right here.”

You giggled as he gassed you up, rounding the corner to your apartment complex. He parked the car before getting up to open your door and help you up. You weren’t necessarily drunk and could have done it by yourself, but you were feeling a bit toasty and didn’t mind being able to clutch onto Spencer as he guided you inside the building and into the elevator. 

The short ride up the elevator and walk to your door was filled with a comfortable silence as you laid your head on Spencer’s shoulder, save for Spencer quietly humming the chorus of your song. You couldn’t help but smile as you recognized the tune.

“I told you it was an earworm huh?” You asked as he ushered you into your apartment. 

“What? Oh, I mean, I don’t think I’ll be able to think about anything else for a while.”

“Maybe once you listen a few more times I can hear your rendition of it.” You laughed.

“Yeah whatever” Spencer laughed, “Let’s get you to bed, you had a big night tonight.”

“I’m not super tired” You protested, “Why don’t you stay for a little? I wanna see if anyones said anything about the song but I’m a little nervous to do it alone.” You admitted.

“Okay,” Spencer agreed, “Go get changed then and I’ll get you some water and such” 

You agreed and walked into your bedroom, shutting the door as you stepped out of your dress and heels. Looking through your drawers you grabbed a hoodie of Spencers he had left at your place around a month ago, and a pair of plaid pajama shorts. 

You exited your room to find Spencer sitting on your couch, your cat Dina cuddling up to his side. You just stared for a minute, enjoying how domestic it all felt. It felt like a daydream, releasing a great song and coming home with your wonderfully supportive boyf- best friend. Your wonderfully supportive best friend. 

You quickly ended that train of thought, instead choosing to plop next to Spencer, pulling your laptop from the coffee table into your lap. 

“Okay, let’s see the damage.” You began, clicking into twitter and typing your name into the search. In an instant hundreds of tweets popped up, all praising your music.

“Oh my god” 

“See I told you they would love it,” Spencer remarked, pulling you into his side as you sat with your mouth agape, in awe of the love your song was receiving already. 

You switched over to youtube, going to the most recent TNTL video to look at the comments. Again, almost all the comments were about you and the song. You were reading some of the comments before you stopped, seeing a comment you should have expected, but didn’t.

“Okay so Spencer and Y/N are dating right? I mean this song is totally about him” 

“They haven’t said anything publicly but they’re like the most popular ship next to Shourtney and they’ve been proven real.. So….” Someone replied.

You started to notice that there were a lot of comments about not even your song, just you and Spencer. These comments weren’t uncommon but usually only showed up in videos you were in together. The smosh fans had decided that you two were perfect soulmates. There were countless edits and videos about you two. 

Secretly you enjoyed them because while you won’t admit it to yourself, there’s a part of you, deep down, that knows you’re in love with your best friend. However, you would never do anything about it because you know Spencer doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, and there’s no way you would lose your best friend like that. But was it really that obvious? You knew your song had references to Spencer, you wrote it, but you didn't realize people would be so hung up on that. 

You closed the laptop before Spencer could read any of those comments. You knew he would see them eventually but you didn’t want to deal with it tonight, opting instead to enjoy his company. 

“You got quiet all of a sudden?” Spencer asked, noticing your withdrawal. 

“Just getting tired I think.” You said. It wasn’t a complete lie, you were getting tired and a half truth would work for now.

“Well I won’t keep you from your beauty rest.” Spencer laughed, moving his embrace to stand up. 

You didn’t want him to leave but you knew that you needed time to think. If the entire smosh fan base could read you like a book through one song you knew you needed to figure yourself out, and soon.

[hvlplvss]

| you know other women?

summary: in which y/n gets jealous over colby and he says the wrong thing.

warnings: y/n is lowkey toxic in ngl. but nothing serious. suggestive at the end, but no actual smut.

colby had recently been away, he’d been busy with sam filming some things for hell week. of course, he’d update y/n, his girlfriend of eight months, about what had happened and if he was okay.

he also posted updates on social media, which y/n was always excited to look at. always leaving a cute comment, or saying how much she missed him. something sweet.

but the post that she received on her instagram feed this morning, did not make her want to leave a sweet comment.

colby and sam were pictured, their friend amanda in between them. but what really got y/n in a pissy mood was the arm that hung over amanda’s shoulder. it was colby’s arm.

just like what he used to do when he first met y/n. so of course, the girl was annoyed and jealous. she didn’t even feel the need to like the post, let alone comment. she ignored it.

colby was expected to be home by the next morning, so y/n told herself to ignore the messages she received from colby that day. just so she could hold the grudge against him

colby looked at the four unread messages he had sent to y/n. his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. he turned towards sam showing him the messages, “have you heard from y/n at all today?” he asked.

“uhh yeah…” sam answered in confusion, “i messaged her this morning and she replied,” colby took his phone back and looked down at the messages once again. he decided to just send one last message to let her know that the two of them were nearly home. but once again there was no response.

he couldn’t understand what was wrong. had something happened at home while he was gone? maybe, a family issue? or had he done something that he hadn’t realised he’d done? he wasn’t sure, but he was slightly pissed off at the way she was acting.

the duo arrived back home finally, after a week of being gone. “we’re home, y/n!” colby yelled, in hopes of his girlfriend running down the stairs to greet him at the door. but nothing. no footsteps of her getting up, or a door creaking open. nothing.

colby looked over to sam, “i better go find her, she’s probably in a shitty mood,” the boy explained. sam nodded and walked off in the direction of the kitchen.

colby ascended the stairs and headed straight for his and y/n’s room. it was eerily quiet, so he decided to knock on the door as it was sealed shut, which definitely meant y/n was in a bad mood.

there was no reply, but he still opened the door anyway. colby peered into the room and saw y/n sat at her vanity table, which was slotted in the corner of the room, which was her side.

colby stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. he walked over to y/n, no reaction coming from her, even though her boyfriend had just came back from a week long trip.

“hey beautiful,” colby smiled, kissing the top of her head. still no response. colby looked at y/n in the mirror, but she didn’t even look back. she stared straight ahead, as she applied her concealer under her eyes.

colby huffed in frustration. something was clearly going on with his girlfriend, but she wouldn’t even speak to him at all, so how on earth was he supposed to find out.

“great, okay then, ignore me,” colby muttered under his breath, walking back to the bed. y/n looked at where colby had retreated to, glaring at his back to the point colby could feel the burning stare in his back.

y/n looked back at herself in the mirror, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in. colby laid back on the bed, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

he opened instagram to check for any updates. he first checked on his own account, looking at his recent post.

which is when he realised. y/n hadn’t liked, nor commented on his post. which she always would do.

he then caught onto the reason why y/n was acting like this. he zoomed into the picture. where his arm hung loosely over amanda’s shoulder.

colby rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. he sat up on the bed, and held his phone out so y/n would be able to see the reflection of his phone in the vanity mirror.

“this is what you’re pissed about?” colby asked, his eyebrows raised.

y/n stilled her hand, which was now drawing eyeliner on her eyelid. she looked over to the reflection and looked back at herself, giving colby the answer to his question.

colby sat up even further and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. “you’re the most jealous woman i know,” he stated, a slight smirk on his face.

y/n’s eyes looked up at herself in the mirror, then she turned around in her seat to look over at her boyfriend, who still wore a smirk.

“you know other women?” y/n spoke, for the first time.

colby rolled his eyes, throwing his head back, standing up and walking over to y/n, “oh come on y/n, everyone knows i only want you,”

colby stood behind y/n looking down at her in the mirror. “i’d hope so colby. i’m the only one for you,” she answered.

colby’s hand came up to the girls neck, wrapping his hand around it. “my jealous girl. now, you gonna make up for the attitude you’ve had?” colby spoke in a low voice, leaning down to y/n’s ear level.

she looked at colby innocently in the mirror, “or how about you fuck the attitude out of me?”

[cross-word]

GOOD LUCK, BABE

after years Ethan still regrets what he did to you.

Word count: 1162

When I first started to date Ethan I knew he had a best friend Amanda that everyone thought he was dating. All of his ex’s used to warn me on social media but I was never the jealous type.

That was until I received a phone call from a random number in the middle of the night I answer to hear lewd noises, moaning and someone moaning a name “ah, fuck Ethan keep doing that” it took me forever for my eyes to adjust to the light difference but once I realized what was going on.

I realized I’ve seen that number before. On Ethan’s phone labeled as Amanda, my heart broke as I heard her moan his name over and over again “why do you have your phone out” I hear him say, grabbing the phone flipping so that the screen was facing him to see me watching “y/n..” before he can say anything else I hung up going back to sleep.

The next day I felt numb watching your boyfriend fuck his best friend that everyone warned you about is humbling. The whole day I could see Amanda smirking at me from the peripheral vision Ethan kept trying to talk to me. His excuses going into one ear and out, “that was not what you thought”, “that was the first time I ever did that”.

As the day went on Ethan finally did it, he cornered me enough to finally get me to talk to him “please baby” he pleaded “no.” I said in a dead voice “what?” He asked “I said no. You can’t fix this. I watched you fuck your best friend you can’t get back from that no amount of pleading can change that” I told him he stood there hurt. The audacity. “No, baby please I’ll do anything I’ll block her, I’ll get rid of her from my life please just don’t call it off I’m begging” he said.

“I hate you Ethan” I told him, pushing him out of my way. Ethan stood there watching my body as I walked away, as I grew distant from Ethan I heard him and Amanda argue.

That was 15 years ago, that experience taught me that love isn’t a guarantee of trust.

I stood there in the Walmart at almost 9pm picking up groceries for my mom. It was Christmas when I was visiting her when I heard a voice too familiar “y/n?” I turn to see Ethan. He looked older, not in a good way. It seemed like he suffered for those 15 years I didn’t see him.

“Oh, hi Ethan” it was awkward for sure two grown adults that used to have history just staring at each other like they were soul mates. “Ethan baby” I hear coming from behind him a woman I stood face to face with the two people who betrayed me 15 years ago.

“Oh. You're back in town..” Amanda said, staring at me eyes darting to Ethan who hasn’t spoken since we locked eyes, sensing tension rise I walk away. “WAIT” Ethan yelled I paused hoping he wasn’t about to say what I think he will. “Do you wanna come over to our house for dinner to catch up?” He asked. I turn to face him “no, I think it’s best if we don’t talk at all” I say leaving him and Amanda in the aisle.

“Are you okay honey?” My mom knocked me out of my daze. “yeah I’m fine” I smiled at her as petite came up next to me looking for food “I think I’m gonna sleep early mom” I said kissing her head walking back to my childhood room.

A loud ringing hit my ear in the middle of the night. I see my phone vibrating showing me a number, immediately seeing the number “ugh, what is it now” I pick up “is he with you?” Amanda asked in a panic.

“You’re joking right” I asked “no. I had a bad feeling and I woke up. I turn around and I see him gone. Please I’m begging is he with you” she sobs through the phone “listen I don’t care about Ethan or you anymore the faster you two leave me alone the better please stop calling me” I tell her hanging up.

I walk downstairs to grab a cup of water to see headlights flashing into the living room. I wondered who would be driving at this time of day but deep down I knew. I unlocked the door to see the car turn off and Ethan walk out.

Towards me. “Your wife is looking for you” I tell him bluntly “I’m sorry” he says completely falling to his knees melting all the snow on the porch.

“I woke up next to her and I realized I don’t want her, the only reason I stayed with her was because I felt bad for the way we ended,” he confessed with his head in his hands. “I don’t have anything going on for me y/n I’m considered to half of the people in this town as Amanda’s husband” he sobbed. “All I can think about after I saw you at Walmart was the way you talked to me the way you looked at me the way it seemed like with you my whole life was fulfilled” he stared at me tears rolling down his cheeks.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” I asked him, colder than the winter night. Do you want me to say I told you so? Cause if it gets you back to your crying wife I will” I said sternly.

“Ethan” I say crouching down to face level with him “were shoelaces attached together my love, but we were cut no matter how much you’d like to connect us together again it will never happen the tear and used shoelaces will never stay together that’s why you buy new ones” I breathed in “Ethan it’s time to move on, I moved on the second I got that call in the middle of the night, go home. Your wife thinks you're cheating on her” I tell him, walking back inside and locking the door.

As I walk down the aisles of grocery I pass a person “I’m sorry I slept with Ethan” Amanda told me as I pass her we both stopped but the difference is Amanda looked back and I didn’t “you and him need to get over that, I don’t care anymore you two are the only ones keeping that flame alive, maybe it’s your subconscious feeling bad but either way, work it between you two or breakup” I tell her walking away never to look back again.

I woke up in my New York apartment to a voicemail. I recognized it as Ethan’s number. “Amanda asked for a divorce, please answer me I want to be with you” I sighed as I blocked his number.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Supporting them - Amanda, John, Mark and Lawrence

warning : angst, hurt/comfort, cuddling, kissing, mentioning of self-harm

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amanda : The sweet but addicted Amanda is punished by life and resurrected by Jigsaw to start a new life. But this is easier said than done since she tasted the metal and the blood, something has broken inside her and has come together in the form of emotionality and emotional outbursts, all under the cover of fear that she will not be able to live up to John or be left alone by him. Which is why, especially after Mexico and the first game, she seemed all the more nervous, but her partner was there to help her. Whether it was just words of praise or reassurance when the black-haired girl was too nervous. A hand on her shoulder or on her, ,,Just breathe it will be fine" she heard the voice of her lover when she felt her emotions boiling over. A hug behind closed doors and the encouraging gestures. A small snack or just a look was enough to tell her that everything would be alright. They are small things but they help her immensely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John : Jigsaw himself, as strong and effective as his actions are, is vulnerable when reduced to a human being. An elderly man who has terminal cancer and is dying of it. gets robbed of life for changing other people. And yet. But he had his favorite. His partner who helped him with everything Amanda couldn't help with. Sitting together on the couch in his house in the evenings, one hand resting on his in his lap. Showering him with stories of better times and telling him how good he was. That everything was going to be fine, making him warm tea and getting his medication ready. Maybe even try to force him to sleep and continue the drawings. Do everything so that he didn't overexert himself, he had suffered enough. ,,Don't worry John, we'll manage...your work will go on until the end" he heard the words and a small smile came to his lips as he looked at the person with love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark : The policeman, scarred by the life of the bear trap and the death of his sister, had lost everything for a time in his life. Alcohol was his best and only friend until he met not only John but also his lover. The thoughts of the darkness that surrounded him were not only tinged with brutality and a slight arrogance, but also with devotion. He loved the little gestures you did for him. A coffee in the evening, a little note, a hug when he came home and a cuddle when his mornings were hard. ,,My strong policeman... you are everything Mark, understand? I will always help you," said his favorite and hugged the older one. The older one replied that he was glad to have someone still worth loving but for everything that had happened he was grateful to have his partner. Someone he could kiss, someone who was there for him, someone he could trust after everything that had happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lawrence: The divorce from his wife, the loss of his daughter, the death of his friend Adams and the loss of his mentor and his failure with Jill. It was a time when he needed help, help to deal with his body and the loss of his leg. But it was also a time when he met his angel, his partner who not only helped him cope with his prosthesis but also with the process of his daughter. The nights were usually longer and he was afraid that the plans would not turn out right. But when he felt the reassuring hand of his darling on his shoulder, smelled coffee and felt a warm blanket around him. ,,Don't get cold, sweetie... go to sleep, I'll stay with you okay," he heard the voice and smiled slightly. They were small cares and yet they were gestures that showed him that nothing was in vain. He still had hope and love by his side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@callmeklarise

[poppyfamily]

Amangela Writer Appreciation Post!

I'm feeling a lot of things right now and I've decided to write what I like about my Amangela writer friends' writing. I often forget to leave comments on their work because they are GOOD at what they do, and I often forget I'm in the middle of reading good writing because it just exists (something something baby fish asks mommy fish where water is only to realize they've been swimming in it the whole time). Can you believe they do this for FREE? And share it with us just because they want to? They are GIFTS to the community.

It is such a privilege to be in the same creative sphere as these people and I need to express Emotions or regret not doing it. They inspire me everyday. Here is a public declaration of love, hope y’all are okay with that. Ramblings under the cut, because it goes without saying, this got really long.

@okiankeno is so imaginative with their writing. My Teeth, Your Neck is impressive with its incorporations of many elements that are familiar to Smosh and Amangela while throwing them into a fantastical, supernatural universe. I haven't watched Buffy, but their writing is so good at making this fantastical world feel lived in. The world just seamlessly slides into the way they write character motivations, making for strong characterization and dynamics that have me INVESTED. That Maia/Valerie twist? Screaming. Crying. Throwing up.

@babychosen is wonderful at dropping Amanda and Angela in situations optimized for maximum tension - which is clearly seen in first time that i met you (i didn't have a damn clue) and you could be bad (but i wanna find out). I love how she crafts her plots, keeping me at the edge of my seat for what comes next, which is driven forward by the way she writes dialogue - natural to the situation as it captures a range of emotions: awkwardness, uneasiness, attraction and just all the quirks that come with forming relationships. Her writing is so fun to read!

@sage-lights writes fics that are short and sweet, but they pack such a powerful punch. With just a few words, she's able to tell a story that contains the energy of a multi-chaptered fic. This is especially true in sometimes i hold you closer (just to know you're real). LIKE HELLO. I was on the road when I first read it and it had me spiraling for a good few hours. She also captures their voices very well. They also capture the tenderness of Amanda and Angela in such a specific way. One of my favorites is met you at the right time (this is what it feels like), capturing the intimacy of two women who earnestly love each other, beyond romance.

@xxsuicidalravenxx 's writing explores the inner turmoil of being drawn to someone while having a lot of insecurity about your own place in other people’s lives. You know I'm such a fool for you (you got me wrapped around your finger) captures something so incredibly real about the anxiety that comes with a murky and under-communicated relationship dynamic based on unfair assumptions about both herself and how Amanda feels about her - which ultimately is a reflection of Angela’s own self-worth which at this point isn’t the best. It’s so real, god - the self-sabotage and all that and slowly realizing that the people around her care more about her beyond whatever mistake she believes she’s made. Also just - all Chamangela dynamics are excellently written here. It’s a gift.

@unknownteapot is masterful at her craft. I've said it before - their writing is so cinematic.  I can see it clearly in my mind - so good at painting clear pictures of where the characters are in the story. It's dramatic, tension-filled and just excellent writing all around. Several minutes of my life have been spent reading her fics. I feel comforted whenever I read her stuff, it gives the feeling of hope - that things will be okay even when it doesn’t seem that way. I remember when sweetheart dropped in the Amangela ao3 tag and thinking WHO is this absolutely talented writer that came out of nowhere (to me lol), but now I can't imagine this little community without them.

@shesmore-shoebill is so good at capturing Amangela vibes as we see it. Like it truly feels like they've broken down the dynamic into its bare essentials which enables them to produce fics that I can vividly HEAR.  They also just infuse a lot of tenderness into the way they write Amanda and Angela, whether it's in a joke or in like genuine moments of checking in - both demonstrated very well in empty space and Joint Custody (Hey Siri). Also, you just know they're a good writer without reading any of their fics because they are already so articulate in how they write commentary on videos when they aren't even trying to write a story, so when they do have a story, it just hits even more. So good.

@skiespeaches has authored one of the hottest, tension-filled fics I've read in my god damned life. From the first chapter of The devil is in the details I was screaming over how THE FUCK they were able to make just ONE KISS feel like THAT. Also, really really really love how grounded this is in the way they write dialogue and internal thoughts. It captures the pleasant feeling of realizing just how much you like someone and receiving some cues that they might like you back. It captures actions you take because of those feelings that can get in the way of communicating what you really want, the emotional tentativeness that comes with not wanting to bear your heart completely quite yet - yet there is a willingness to see where it goes, hoping that it does come to that point. The entire fic feels like the most emotionally charged scene of a slice of life movie - which is literally my personal favorite genre.

@ghoulishhgayy - famed author of hit Amangela fic Oil Burns had me invested in a situation that I personally haven't read a lot of in fanfiction. The spirit of their fics can be boiled down (haha get it) to the way they write about two women who deeply care about one another unconditionally supporting each other through difficult times. That's the kind of shit I eat up, and it's done so excellently. They just also write in a way that just makes being in love so appealing. They capture the moment of oh in Oil Burns so well that it has me gnashing my teeth, gnawing at the bars of my enclosure etc etc.

@wlwsmosh manages to get to the heart of a story in a few words. It's actually crazy and I’m in awe of their talent. There is a lightness to their fics that just makes me smile so much while also like having some really smutty scenes, which is so dang impressive - balancing sweetness and steaminess really well while also feeling very much like Amangela. My favorite from them are when i call the shots, you call me mommy which I think feels so much like Amangela voice and humor, while also placing them in a relationship and kink context. Honestly, all of their fics are gems.

@baflegacy is so GOOD at putting Amangela in the silliest of situations (heck, situations that are very much based on what we have seen in canon) and teasing out its potential romantic through line. They have a way of capturing emotions that accompany these situations in a way that just shoots you straight to the core. They write tension so well, and are so good at keeping me engaged with what's about to happen next. All of their works are GOATED. I, however, am extremely biased when I say that my favorite is their birthday gift for me - too good (to deny it) - aka one of the best angsty pieces of writing I've read in my whole life my GOD.

@cuecrynsleep is so!!!! A newer friend whose first fic in the Amangela tag I fell in love with immediately (Being Transparent). It was so simple, but captures Amangela’s adorable nature within the context of a romantic relationship REALLY WELL. I’m also just out here eagerly awaiting every post from Reconnecting the Past, which is a chat fic - a format that I rarely like the execution of, but damn I love the way they’re doing it here with the added bonus of the Changela, Arangela, and Shourtmanda dynamics which is just feels absolutely right. I’m out here thinking what are they gonna do next. They are so good at building intrigue and I’m just here sipping my tea and thinking in my head that I sound like some pathetic fuckboy sexting going “and then what?” because I am seated. I am sat. 

Anyway, if you’ve reached the end of this post - go support these writers!!!! Make sure you let them know if you like their stuff - either through a comment, kudos, an ask, a message, or bookmark. I promise you it makes these authors’ days whenever they see any kind of feedback for their work, and it keeps the community ALIVE. I am guilty of not doing that but it’s always great to try instead of not. I know from personal experience that it makes so much of a difference in their motivation to write more, while also allowing us to savor the work instead of mindlessly consuming it. Thanks for reading me gushing about all of them. Love you Amangela RPF community! Very grateful for y’all more than you’ll ever know <3

[sage-lights]

spinning out, waiting for you to pull me in

word count: 587 title from: "satellite" by harry styles i think it's literally been 4 years since i wrote fanfic but! i woke up with such bad amangela brain rot this morning that the thought of them is actually making me ill right now. i wrote this ficlet at 8am in class on the doc i use for taking notes, so it's not my best writing...yeah! hope you enjoy it!

“Hey,” Amanda's voice quivers. She physically can't look Angela in the eyes when she greets her. Fuck, this shouldn’t be happening right now. The day has barely started and Amanda already feels like running away from everyone.

Angela looks at her skeptically, “I would say ‘Good morning,’ but you look like yours has been pretty terrible already. Everything okay?”

Amanda collects herself enough to muster a sort-of smile and shrugs. She watches as Angela furrows her brows, contemplating something. Before Amanda can insist that it’s no big deal, she feels herself getting tugged towards the back of the office and led between the costume racks.

“Spill. What’s up with you?”

“It’s nothing, honestly,” God, Amanda feels like she’s a teenager again. It’s stupid that she’s this upset about it.

Angela scoffs and rolls her eyes, “Oh, come on, Amanda. Don’t give me that bullshit. We both know something is wrong,” her tone softens once she sees Amanda’s eyes start to become glassy, “It’s not stupid to be upset.”

She laughs a little, “How did you know that’s what I was thinking?”

“Because I know you. And I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“I appreciate you checking in, Ang,” Amanda sighs, “But I really shouldn’t be getting into it at work.”

“I know we’re coworkers, but we’re friends too, right? It’s fine if you really don’t want to talk about it, but I’m here for you,” she grabs Amanda’s hands and gives them a gentle squeeze. That simple gesture was enough to break down the final brick of Amanda's wall, and suddenly, everything came spilling out.

Two nights ago, she had gotten a call from Ian telling her that she didn’t need to come in for work the next morning, which Angela already knew, seeing as she was the one filling in for Amanda yesterday.

What Angela didn’t know, however, was how Amanda’s jaw tightened when she saw the close friends stories of her coworkers, her friends, having fun while she wasn't there. How she had to stop herself from spiraling as she rewatched the videos over and over again. How disappointed she felt in herself for letting this affect her.

Angela lets go of her hands. Amanda’s heart drops for a moment, thinking that she’s overstepped boundaries and came off immature, until she feels Angela hug her.

“We missed you too, you know?” Angela leans away slightly to look up at Amanda, arms remaining around her waist.

"I hate that I'm feeling this way. It feels so high school of me to be sad about my friends hanging out without me. And it's not even like you all planned to see each other! This is our job and," Amanda bites her lip, hesitant to admit, "I guess the kid in me remembers what it was like to get excluded from things. For the longest time, I was convinced it was a me problem. Maybe I never got over that."

"I get it, but you're right. It's a job where none of us have control over who's scheduled on any given day. It's not just a regular hang out between friends. Because if it was, I want you to believe me when I say we'd want you around every single time."

This time, Amanda is the one that pulls Angela into an embrace, "What would I do without you, Angela?"

"Probably cry alone in the gender-neutral bathroom." Angela laughs.

Amanda has to admit, Smosh is a pretty sweet gig. After all, it brought Angela into her life.

[nian-7]

Jyushi Aimono x fem!reader

✧she loves me... she loves me not...

✧fluff

Seeing a flower growing at Kugen Temple, Jyushi just had to pick it. How could he not when it was so pretty? Kuko had called him previously for some training but was waiting on Hitoya to arrive. Hopefully...

Sitting on the grass outside of the temple, he placed the pretty white flower in his lap next to Amanda with a smile.

" Amanda! Isn't the flower pretty? " He held up the worn, stuffed pig with a bright expression on his face. " I hope Kuko isn't angry with me because I picked the flower... " He lowered Amanda back down, sitting her on the grass beside him.

Minutes passed by, the occasional arguing could be heard between Shakku and Kuko somewhere close by in the temple as Jyushi sat in the grass, quietly.

" Oi! Jyushi! I'm going to get that asshole lawyer! " Kuko yelled from across the grass as he was already heading out of the temple. " I'll be back real soon! "

" Eh?! O-Okay! " Was all he managed to respond with as Kuko disappeared out of the temples walls and then it was silent. The wind rustling the leaves and birds chirping was the only noise that surrounded him.

Another gust of wind blew past him, pushing all his hair back from his face. Scrunching his face up as the harsh gust blew, nearly taking the flower with it as well as pushing Amanda over as she sat in the grass behind him.

" Ah-! Oh no... Amanda! " Frantically, he grabbed the stem of the flower and Amanda before the wind came to a stop again. " Ahh.. I'm sorry, Amanda! " He apologized to the plushie as he set her on his lap for safe keeping. Holding up the flower he had grabbed with his other hand, he looked at it for a moment. " Ah! Umura told me about something I can do with the flower! " He looked down at Amanda. " He said I have to pluck each petal and then whatever I end with on the last petal is true! It's supposed to tell you if someone loves- " His face got red.

If someone loves him. You. If you love him.

" Ah! Okay! I'll do it, Amanda! " He had a determined look on his face as he held up the flower now. Carefully plucking each petal off, mumbling to himself as he did so. " Sh- She loves me... She loves me not... "

As he got to the last petal, he was about ready to pluck it. " ...She- She loves- me..?! " He retracted his hand from the petal as his face turned red. Looking down at the previous petals he had plucked that were now covering Amanda. " She loves m-me?! " He squeaked out, looking at the flower in disbelief.

" Jyushi! The hell are you doing? Who loves you? " Kukos hand suddenly landed on Jyushi's head, pressing down as if to make his presence even more known.

" Eh?! K-Kuko?! " He turned quickly to look up at him and Hitoya who stood behind him. " Nothing- I- I was- " His shocked, reddening face was enough to give away his embarrassment.

" ...Whatever the hell you were doin', put it down! We've got trainin' to do! " Kuko turned on his heel, making his way towards the temple interior, leaving Jyushi alone for a brief moment.

She... loves me! He held the flower close to his chest for a moment, a happy smile on his face as he cherished the flower for telling him such a thing.

" Jyushi!! "

" Ah! Coming, Kuko! "

please do not repost any of my work without my permission, thank you for reading.

[angelagiarratana]

Anon Writes 1

You’re at a Smosh meet and greet at a con and when you and Angela lock eyes there’s just something™️ there. Later you’re on the con floor and you’re not really paying attention to where you’re walking, too busy looking at all the cool merch in the booths. You walk right into Angela. You basically become a stuttering mess. She flirts and you walk away with her number (ooorrrrr you walk with her to the nearest bathroom 😉)

Vidcon was something you both loved 

Angela came into the living room carrying Spork wearing her Vidcon hoodie. You paused the show and looked at her in the kitchen cooing at Spork. “I like your hoodie.” She looked at you, “Hm I wonder why?”

Some people from Smosh were over for a game night and Angela insisted on bringing Spork to play. Courtney put her phone down, "Wait is Y/n the girl from vidcon you wouldn't shut up about all week?" Angela scoffed, "Why would you expose me like that!" Shayne laughed loudly. Keith demanded, "Okay now I need to hear this story."

 ------

“Have a good day!” You told the guy who just bought a t-shirt from you at Vidcon. The floor was packed with people from different fandoms trying to get to their creators before they sold out of what they wanted. A couple people who didn’t know of your work stopped by, the sticker table catching their attention. You weren’t paying any mind to it until you heard a laugh that was too familiar to you. You turned around to see Angela and a few of the others from Smosh at the table next to yours. The panic set in when she looked at you and you made eye contact. Her face lit up, “Oh my god! Y/n! I love your work!” Your face started burning, you knew you got some traction but Smosh knowing you existed? You were a fangirl at heart. “Hi! I also love your work. Huge Smosh fan.” She approached your table and set her full attention on you. Angela was transfixed by your features. The way your cheeks moved when you smile, how your eyes lit up when you talked about your upcoming projects. 

The 10 minute conversation felt like 10 seconds. Amanda walked over and grabbed her arm, “Hate to interrupt but we have a panel to get to.” Angela frowned, “Can I get your number or something so we can talk again this week?” Your heart stopped and you had to take a calming breath, “Of course, just text me!” She left you with the promise of getting drinks one night. The next night, your sitting at the hotel bar waiting for your friends to come down to walk to the party. Your phone buzzed on the bar and you set your glass down. 

Angela 

Going to the party?

Your cheeks lit up bright red. You picked up your phone and shot her back a text,

Yeah! I’m waiting for some friends to walk over together, be there soon

Angela

See you then pretty girl 

Time frozen, and before you could fully process it your friends came around the corner. You were pulled from your seat and dragged out the door, still speechless. It was a bold move from her end. Unless she saw right through you, she had no way of knowing what your feelings or intentions were. You mind raced as the elevator doors to the roof opened and flashing lights caught your attention. After a shot of liquid courage and a song belted with your friends, you opened your phone, 

Hey, I’m here. Are you here yet? 

Angela

One sec, I think I see you, don’t move

You looked around hoping to find her too. Faces you recognized, random influencer, DJ, Chanse, Angela, your friends, wait. You snapped your head back around to see her waving at you, dodging and weaving through the crowd. She was more dressed up than usual, but still in her dirty white shoes. When she reached you her mouth fell open, “You look amazing.” You smiled and thanked her, “You also look fantastic.” You didn’t hesitate to check her out, but regretted it when you met her eyes, a knowing look on her face. “Do you want another drink?” You simply nodded and grabbed her arm, making her slightly chuckle. 

A few more drinks in and the drinks have been long forgotten as you and Angela sat in a corner of the room on a couch, side by side, but face to face. Your legs thrown over hers. The corner was quiet enough to hear each other without others hearing. Angela swirled her glass of a watered-down vodka tonic, her attention fully on you, once again astonished at you. Angela could barely feel her legs but she wouldn’t dare say a word. “Actually moved to L.A. alone and just figured it out as I went. I had a plan but no real way to make it happen. I met a guy at a coffee shop because I complimented his mug and he gave me my first permanent job here.” Angela was awestruck, “That’s fucking awesome. That’s like the most Indie movie moment I have ever heard.” She put her hand on your knee, squeezing it. A jolt ran through you. Angela noticed how your breathing changed and you couldn’t look at her. “What’s so interesting over there beautiful?” She was laying it on THICK and you loved every second of it. 

“I really think that smaller theatre production companies make some of the best work and it rarely gets any recognition purely because of the lack of A-list cast members-“ “Hey Ang!” Chanse yelled as he jogged/drunkenly stumbled over, “We’re all heading out and you know the rules.” Angela sighed, “Come together, leave together.” She looked at you, a genuine pout on her face. “You’re so precious.” It came out so smooth and warm, you couldn’t believe it left YOUR mouth. Angela smiled and looked down at her lap. You put your hand on hers, “Go, I would do the same. I’ll text you tomorrow?” She nodded, “Let me know when you get back?” Your turn to nod. She lifted your hands pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles. You moved your legs as Chanse dramatically gagged. “You fucker,” Angela stood from the couch and smacked his arm, “I’ll see you Y/n.” You waved and watched them as they danced over to the rest of the group and Courtney hugged Angela. 

You then stood looking for your own friends only to never find them. You checked their location to see them at the hotel, leaving you to walk back alone. You sighed and started back. You turned the corner into the hotel lobby and shivered from the AC. The lobby was still bustling with people drinking, playing games, filming, and getting extra pillows. As the elevator doors closed, you thanked the universe for the silence. 

------

"And that's when I found her in the elevator, by herself, tipsy. I was absolutely gut-wrenched that they left her by herself four blocks from the hotel." Angela squeezed your hand. "I remember rambling about how much I wish I had just asked her to walk with us." Courtney immediately sat up, "That is the best YouTube love story I have ever heard." Amanda raised her hand, "Yeah I agree. That was straight romcom." Courtney hugged Amanda and they dramatically cried. You chuckled at them. "No that's just fanfiction." Spencer chimed in, "I would know, I did the research for fanfic theatre." The group chuckled and Angela looked at you. 3 months later and she can’t focus when she looks at you.

[king--dom]

"Goddammit Caleb, fuck off. I really thought you were different"

"This IS different! We've been friends forever, Lucy! I was one of the first people you came out to and I've been by your side for years!"

"Waiting for your chance, evidently!"

"Is it such a crime to wanna help my friends start a family?"

"It should be to pretend to be someone's friend just to be 'the one man'."

"You said yourself that IVF is too damn expensive!"

"Yeah, and that me and Amanda gonna save up for it "

"But what if you don't have to? It could take way longer than you expect and with the way politics are going, it may not be an option in a few years."

"Then why don't you help us pay for it if you care so damn much?"

"I would if that's what you needed! But if we don't HAVE to spend the money and if my genes are as good as anybody's and--"

"And if you get to fuck your lesbian couple friends."

"Only to help start your family!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll keep insisting we 'make sure' until we start showing."

"They came out with an app that alerts you the second your pregnant, so it would just be until the alert goes off"

"Oh my fucking god...you realize Amanda is the one who's gonna carry the baby right? This still isn't your chance to fuck your old crush"

"Like I've been saying, that's not what this is. And y'know before she came out I--"

"Shut up before I hear something you'll regret. That's my wife you fucker"

"Alright, just promise you'll talk it over with her, okay?"

"What makes you think she'll agree?"

"I don't necessarily think she will, but I still want to offer any help I can"

"Ugh, fine. But don't get your hopes up."

*******************************************

"Babe you can't be serious."

"Lucy, I know you're stressed out trying to save money, but I don't think he's being underhanded."

"I'm not talking about that! I got over that, he's just a ridiculous dork. I mean you can't seriously be considering fucking that goober."

"To save a quarter year's wages? Maybe. It doesn't have to be a big production, it's just sex"

"But it's more than just sex. I don't know, sex with you is something really important and special to me. Him just giving you a boring fuck is almost worse than you having sex with a man in general."

"So you'd rather he seduce me and blow my mind?"

"I'd rather put a baby in you myself! Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry babe, I know you're much more of a man-hater than me but I really don't see the big deal."

"Oh yeah? You're the one with a nonstop libido, I figured it'd be a pretty big deal to you"

"Stop~ you might get me riled up haha. I've looked into that app, y'know. It's legit, it even tracks orgasms. Why don't I set it up and you can see just how much you've got me wrapped around your finger. Would you feel less scared that your best friend will steal me away then?"

"Pff, he doesn't scare me. Fine, let's see if it works and if it does I'll tell Caleb he's got a chance at being a donor."

******************************************

"You seem a lot more chipper today"

"Let's just say it's nice to put numbers on how good of a top you are"

"You tried out the app? It's pretty great right?"

"Hmph, I guess. Listen, I appreciate you want to help, but you have to understand this is about more than money for me. My pride as a provider, a top, and a lesbian are in the mix. My girl deserves the best and if I'm gonna allow anybody else to fuck her they gotta prove they're up to the task"

"Uh, okay? I think I get what you mean. So what do you propose?"

"I'm not gonna just let you fuck my wife. You're gonna have to somehow get her hot and heavy for you and treat her right before you even get a shot"

"You want me to...seduce Amanda?"

"I want you to try. Since I can track her orgasms, I'll know if you don't satisfy her before you try to knock her up. If you dare try to pump and dump my wife, it's seriously gonna be the last thing you do."

"Okay okay! Sorry, this is just a full 180 from what you were saying last time. And wait...you're gonna use the app to track it? You're not just gonna be in the room?"

"One: I don't wanna have to watch you fumble with pleasing my wife. Two: I still have to make money to pay the mortgage and groceries."

"Okay...so what time should I--"

"Figure it out."

"Huh?"

"I told you I'm not gonna just let you sleep with Amanda. I'm actually going to be playing goalie as much as I can to keep you from getting the chance."

"Wait but you said--"

"These are the terms of my challenge: if you try to come over when I'm home I'm going to physically throw you out like Jazz in Fresh Prince. If you somehow get Amanda to let you in and get in bed, the first orgasm I'm alerted to I'm heading straight over to-once again-bounce your ass on the pavement. You have a week starting tomorrow morning to do your best and if you can't, you're paying for half the IVF"

"God, I forgot how competitive you get. Okay fine I'll--"

"Ah! Not done. To make sure you don’t chicken out, 'cause you're my friend but I really wanna enjoy cockblocking you, if you somehow manage to put a baby in Amanda after making her cum...I'll let you put a baby in me."

"...Lucy..."

"Ha! What's wrong? Too scared or too horny to think straight?"

"Sigh...fine...if this is what it takes to help you two, I accept."

"Good! You're not a coward of a man after all. Go ahead and get your finances straight tonight because starting tomorrow, it's the beginning of the end for you."

********************************************

"You're so dramatic"

"Don't act like it doesn't turn you on~"

"Two things can be true haha as long as you're comfortable, I'm willing to play along"

"I still can't believe you're okay letting him come onto you"

"Well I guess now I don't have to be since he has to pay up if he doesn't. As dramatic as it is, I appreciate you prioritizing my pleasure.

"Like I said, sex with you is sacred. I intend to enforce that. Why don't I prioritize your pleasure before we go to sleep~"

*********************************************

"Have a good day babe!"

"You too Amanda, remember to not even open the door unless Caleb somehow manages to make you blush"

"I probably won't even hear the doorbell, you got me all revved up I'm probably gonna stay in bed a but longer and jill to the thought of what you did last night~"

"God I love you."

********************************************

*Ping*

[3 orgasms @ 8:32, 9:14, & 9:56]

"God she couldn't even wait for me to get to work. Lunch is almost done and she never texted saying Caleb swung by. He must not be taking this seriously enough. I was certain my wager would light a fire under him, oh well his loss."

"Hey Lucy, glad I caught up with you. You back on the clock?"

"About to be what'sup?"

"Got a rush order that has to be done today. Marketing fucked up and never sent us their info, now we need it ready for tomorrow's presentation."

"Goddammit, okay. If I start now I can probably bang it out before quitting time."

"Awesome, I gotta go put out some other fires, you're a life saver"

"Just remember that at my next review! ...man he moves fast, better get a raise from this."

*Ping*

[1 new orgasm @ 12:34]

"Heh, Amanda must be getting her second wind."

*Ping*

[1 new orgasm @ 12:43]

"Damn...she never bounces back that fast. I really must have set her on fire last night

*Ping*

[2 new orgasms @ 12:58 & 1:05]

"Fucking hell, she must have gotten a new vibe? Shit I'm getting wet just thinking about it. I should be home right now instead of working on this last minute bullshit report"

*Ping*

[3 new orgasms @ 1:19, 1:26, & 1:37]

"I just have to put my phone away. I can't think while I'm checking this every time."

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Da-ding! Da-ding!*

"What the fuck is that notification??"

[2 new orgasms @ 1:49 & 1:56]

[3 new orgasms @ 2:09, 2:16, & 2:25]

[2 new orgasms at 2:37 & 2:48]

[Successful impregnation @ 3:08]

"What the fuck!? When did he even...HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN THERE!?"

"Lucy? What's wrong?"

"Jerry, I need to get home right now! Jesus this is--"

"Family emergency? Somebody at the hospital?"

"Yes! I mean not that, but--"

"Are you almost done with the report?"

"I'm like halfway through, I can finish it first thing!"

"East coast branch needs it first thing their time EST."

"I can finish it at home, I promise!"

"Not this one, it's some serious NDA stuff. We'd lose our accredidation if you took this home."

"Fucking...is nobody else able to take this over?"

"Not without overtime. Listen normally I'd let it slide, but unless someone is dying or being born I can't spare you. I'll try to send someone over to help you out."

"God it's already too late to...okay thanks Jerry. Fuck..."

"Sorry Lucy"

**********************************************

*Ping*

*Ping*

*Ping*

"Stupid fucking marketing that cant send shit on time. Stupid fucking interns that can't read excel. Stupid fucking traffic holding me up! Stupid fucking CALEB! FUCKING MY WIFE!"

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"YOU BETTER BE LONG GONE CALEB! WHEN I GET IN HERE I'M GONNA FUCK. YOU. U--..."

"Oh hey Lucy, I was wondering when you were getting home. Amanda here's been pretty impatient."

"What the FUCK is going on??"

"Well right now she's sucking me off 'cause she's too blissed from cumming her brains out but still feeling pretty amorous"

"I can fucking see that you--how the fuck did this happen?

"I waited to come over when I knew you were settled at work. Maybe it's best Amanda tell you the rest from there~"

*Pop*

"Ha...ha...ha...hi Lucy~ y’know even after wearing myself out I wasn't ready to just let Caleb in...but he started talking about wanting to get to know his future baby mama better and I was already feeling like a prized treasure after last night~ I really was just planning on talking to him, catching up on things, but he said such sweet things and really listened to everything I had to say about my boundaries and what feels good. Then he asked to make sure he knew what I liked and I let him touch me and...oh boy I don't know how we never clocked him as a lover boy but mmmm he knows how to use his hands"

"Amanda...you came so many times...so fast...faster than I've ever..."

"Lucy it's okay! I still love you and I can't wait to fuck you again, nothing's changed between us"

"Then why did you keep fucking after he knocked you up!"

"Heehee, well we really thought you'd be here by then... and we already had your permission...and you made a big deal about how I deserve the best~"

"Would you say I passed your test, Lucy?"

"Caleb I swear to god I'm--You need to leave before I do something that'll land me in jail."

"Sweetie, don't be like that~ Come here lemme--"

"Don't touch me, you're covered in his--"

"Shh shh shh, we're all friends. This was always a possibility"

"No it wasn't! He's a dork that's crushed on me since high school! There wasn't a world where he was gonna one-up me!"

"Well here we are, you didnt consider this when you made your wager?"

"I was gonna win!"

"Well now you need to own up to your end of the bargain"

"No fucking way! I'm not gonna--"

"It's okay Amanda, I knew it'd be a long shot. Honestly I'm honored to have helped this much. If Lucy wants to back out I'm--"

"Fuck you! Don't you act all high and mighty; I don't need your pity!"

"Sweetie it's okay, he's not gonna hold you to it"

"It's not about him! I...I put my pride on the line...and I fucking lost...welching on a deal isn't gonna fix that..."

"Whatever you need to do, I'm right here with you."

"Goddammit Amanda...I love you..."

"I love you too Lucy."

"Alright you fucker...you win...you knocked up my wife, you fucked her better than I ever could, and I couldn't even stop you...come and claim your prize..."

"Lucy I really wanna say this was never about humiliating you, I wanted to respect your challenge and...I'd be lying if I said your wager didn't motivate me, but I love you. As my best friend, as my future baby mama, and as whatever we may be in the future."

"You really did all this and were completely serious this whole time?"

"Well...yeah. what can I say?"

"I can't believe I'm letting such a fucking dork impregnate me..."

"We can take it as slow and steady as you want, no rush."

"Fuck that, let's get right to it"

"I had a feeling you'd say that. I may have talked to Amanda about what you like as well"

"Traitor"

"You'll think me later sweetie. Now kiss your baby daddy while I set up the app for you"

"Why?!"

"So we know when you're knocked up. Unless you wanna keep going after he's already bred you."

"Fine! I get it! Come here you fucking--"

"Oh wow he's really been wanting this...damn sweetie he's all over you. I thought he'd need some warm up first, but he must have memorized everything I told him. The app should be set up and synced to--"

*Ping*

"No way...Lucy there's no way you just--"

"Shut it! Shut up! We're not talking about it! I'm just pent up from a long day!"

"Aw c'mon it's not from me rubbing your clit like this?"

*Ping*

"You fucking bastard...not in front of my wife"

"It's okay sweetie, it's kinda hot seeing you like this. I always thought you liked to top because it's the only thing that made you feel good. I never realized you were so sensitive, it's kinda cute~"

*Ping*

"I told you she probably had a humiliation kink"

"Haaa! D-don't talk about mmme, like-fuck...like I'm not here!"

"Sorry honey, I've been your lover for years, but he's been your best friend for longer, I think he's got the full read on you."

"It's not that you're pathetic, it's that you're a badass who always has to keep it up. But you've pushed down the fear of not measuring up and now you get to safely feel what it's like to be a sensitive little bottom that's ready to fall apart for a man that can wrap you around his finger."

*Ping*

"Did I mention he's good at dirty talk?"

"Caleb! You motherfucker...if you tell anyone about this..."

"Shh, don't worry. This Lucy is just for me and Amanda to see. Speaking of, why don't you help your wife lie down and get ready mama?"

*Ping*

"Oh wow, Lucy you even cum when I call your wife mama? Good to know"

"Haaaa, I swear I'm...mmmm, going to..."

"Calm down sweetheart, let's get you ready. You're the only one with clothes still on. This is nice, usually you're leading me, but now I can lead you on how to be a good sub. Just focus on me, think about all the fun we've had on this bed and how you've made me look when you fuck me with your strap. Now that's gonna be you, and you're gonna be so hot~"

"Amanda I don't know if I can do this...if he makes me cum with his...and I like it...then he knocks me up...then--"

"Then you'll still love me and I'll still love you. And if there's room in our lives for our baby daddy, we'll work it out. We haven't failed, we've succeeded! We're gonna start our family! You've already made it happen"

"I love you Amanda"

"And I love Lucy"

"Shut up and kiss me before I hurl"

"I know I'm standing here with a raging hard-on, but you two are the most adorable couple ever."

"Yeah yeah, just come over here and don't make me regret this"

*********************************************

[56 new orgasms @ ...]

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, goddamn you motherfucker! Fuck me into the mattress! Batter my womb! Knock me up! Breed me! Pump your fucking kids into me! Fuck!"

"Damn Lucy, your dirty mouth perfectly matches the rest of your sexy body! You feel so good squeezing my cock, you're ready to be a mother now aren't you?"

"Yes! Goddammit, impregnate me so my tits can swell up and I can feed your fucking children! You fucking bastard, stole my fucking wife and then fucked me too. You motherfucker!"

"He hasn't stolen me Lucy, I should be worried about him stealing you from me at this point."

"Don't worry mama, she's just reveling in how her pathetic male friend outfoxed her and outfucks her too, isn't that right, Lucy?"

*Ping*

"I guess you're right honey~"

*Ping*

"Oh wow she really lights up when you call me pet names. Show her how much you've fallen for me, hm?"

"Yes dear, whatever you say. Even though Lucy wanted me all to herself, she was no match for my big strong man. I'm so lucky to have such a lovely baby daddy, though if you really love me you'll become my husband too~"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"She loves that! I think I love it too! Maybe I will make an honest woman out of you, poor Lucy here couldn't."

*Ping* *Ping*

"Please do sweetie, make me the happiest woman she never could~"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"This is it! I can't hold it anymore! Lucy's feels too damn good cumming on me! Here it comes Lucy! I'm going to breed you because you get off on your wife cheering me on! Now fucking take it!"

"Fuck yes! Make me your woman! Steal my wife! I-I...I love you Caleb!"

*Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping* *Ping*

"Oh fuck! Ah! Ah! God I've never cum so fucking hard in my life, not even when I fucked your wife! Ahh fuck I'm still...take every last drop Lucy. You're my baby mama now...you're both mine now..."

*Da-ding! Da-ding!*

[Successful impregnation @ 1:34]

"He's right, we're both carrying his children now. Are you happy Lucy?"

"Aaa..aa...Amanda...he did it...we're both gonna be mothers..."

"We are Lucy! I'm so happy, we're gonna have kids together."

"Ha..ha..and they're gonna have the best dad in the world"

"I'd be honored to join you two, I can't believe how lucky I am."

"No...not join us...we're yours...we're the lucky ones."

"She's being dramatic again, but I'm not arguing. We'll figure out the paperwork later, for right now, let's all go to sleep as a new family~"

"I...I love you two...Amanda...Caleb..."

"We love you too sweetie. Go on Caleb, you can say it too."

"I love you too mama. And I love you too, darling~"

*Ping*

[sadceline]

THE ENHYPEN HOST || 10

|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS

WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes. GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution. Your body in exchange for paying off your debt. Do you accept?

TRAILER:

PREVIOUS CHAPTER:

FIRST CHAPTER:

ATTENTION: this chapter will be pov heeseung, so from his first-person point of view, I hope not to cause confusion ~~

I glare at him, he really betrayed himself. And quickly, too. Not that he was so good at hiding it so far.

I see him roll his eyes. "What do you want from me?"

"Dumb, you're hurt her?" I repeat his words, incredulous.

He twists his lips annoyed and looks away. "You pushed her."

"Stop it Sunghoon…." I advise him, looking tired.

"What?"

"Really?"

"Haven't you ever gotten tired?" He has the courage to answer.

"Everyone has figured it out that you're interested."

"The point is that I'm not really, I'm just having fun, but you guys take this so seriously, and it's pathetic." He laughs, trying to ridicule my position.

In fact, I'm uncomfortable. "You don't understand."

"You've been with her half a day and now you're crazy about her? What, you fuck her too? You say she's that good?"

"I just want you not to torment her, I need her sane to fuck her."

Yet Sunghoon smiles anyway. "Jay has already forgotten her, why don't you do the same? - He asks me, lifting his wrist with the watch and showing it. - It's not long before the shift ends."

"You take it for granted that I like her, why do you find it impossible for me not to like her, since you like her?"

The question comes out as a kind of riddle, I see Sunghoon holding back a laugh. He doesn't want to laugh because I struck him in honor, but at the same time, my tone and the sound of the words came out a little too funny.

"But you disparage her, you scorched earth her. You blame her because you hate the fact that she will give herself not only to you but to everyone who will allow her to survive."

"Survive? Is that a feminist slogan? You're a feminist now?" He attempts to change the subject, believing he's insulting me, perhaps, in a totally clumsy way.

"Only now?"

"I am not interested, I simply enjoy annoying her."

"You are literally an elementary school child!" I accuse him, aloud.

"She amuses me - he admits, chuckling as his gaze is perhaps lost in some specific memory. - It amuses me when she's angry."

"What if Wonyoung found out? That you amuse yourself like this."

"If you tell her, the host thing will come up…. - he tells me, with a grin, feels advantaged. - Wait, now that I think about it…don't the girls also have hosts?"

I ponder this too, but it seems unlikely, since I've often been in girls' band dorms. "I don't… know?"

"No, this is a male thing. - He concludes the question, relieved, the monkey. - Besides, Wonyoung would tell me right away."

"Like you told her about Amanda?" I imply doubt.

If he goes back to focusing on his beautiful girlfriend, maybe he will get tired of playing with Amanda. 

Stop asking me: the reason is obvious, if he keeps harassing her she will leave on her own, since I want to have fun, it's not good for me.

Come to think of it though, if she stopped being a host, she would just be a beautiful girl, wouldn't she? Would she go back to being a fan of mine? Just mine? No, she wasn't mine from the beginning.

"Heeseung, you can have better than her." He changes the subject, after several seconds.

I smile nervously. "What?"

"Why do you worry so much? I thought at least you didn't bust."

"She's pretty, isn't she? - I ask, knowing he wouldn't answer, so I smile. - It's just about that, let me enjoy in peace. You don't have to torment her just because you can't…."

"Even so, shouldn't you let her go?" He dares to ask.

How can he say such things while denying that he is interested in her? He accused me of taking little time, me wanting to just and exclusively her, while he seems so obsessed with her since we got back. Even his being so interested in the fact that I had been in her hous,, why was that so upsetting to him? I could fuck her at home, too.

"Why? I don't even have to commit myself. - I explain to him, confidently. - Besides, even you must have seen some fans who wanted to fuck you, maybe even been there. But it's always a mess and they become obsessed, she's not only pretty, she was sent directly from the agency so I don't have to worry."

Sunghoon smiles but actually looks rather annoyed. "Should I do that too?"

"Risk losing Wonyoung?"

Although I have reasons to believe that he won't give in to temptation anyway, I can't be so sure. Honestly, I can beat everyone else, but Sunghoon is a little too ethereal. She, who has always preferred me, as she indirectly admitted, was completely thunderstruck by Sunghoon, it is obvious.

Of Jay she will soon forget, I am sure, but of Sunghoon? By continuing to be on her like this they will end up becoming friends, even close.

"You worry a lot about my relationship." He says, getting serious.

I smile automatically, there goes the real Sunghoon again. "When you're alone you have a lot of time and observe a lot of things."

"Oh yeah, and what have you noticed?"

"That you are really lucky. I can have better, but you really have it. What are you still doing here, with me?"

"I was waiting for the moment when you told me not to go near Amanda again, in a threatening way. Did I say right? Is that going to happen? Maybeo that comes in the next chapters."

I have to laugh, I admit. "We are not good for this situation."

He sneers. "I noticed."

Eventually the discussion dies there and we return to the living room, where Amanda sits next to Ester but also Yeonjun, who is showing the girls some photos taken on a trip. Jay keeps an eye on them but stays in his seat while Niki and Beomgyu, who are exchanging strange looks, order food.

Soobin got the good booze and talks to Taehyun about it, not sure how he knew where were, meanwhile they rang. Why doesn't anyone carry their keys in this house?

I go to open it, it's Sunoo.

Instinctively I change direction, letting him in. He smiles, as always.

He makes me think of strange periods in my growing up, so sometimes, spontaneously, I avoid him.

"Omo, you are all here but.. Kai sumbae is not here?"

"He was busy." Taehyun says, laughing.

"He has the private personal trainer." He clarifies doubts Jungwon, who knows him well, after entering and taking off his shoes.

"Omo…but you are beautiful! - Says Sunoo, pointing at Amanda. - And so are you! But who are you?" He asks Ester.

Jungwon is also quite confused by the vision, still staring at Amanda as if he cannot believe she was hiding all that under the sloppy clothes she always wears.

"Didn't you read on group? - Jungwon asks, approaching the two girls. - Nice to meet you all!" - He laughs, with his sly grin.

Amanda smiles, I guess she finds him adorable, not knowing him. "This is Ester, my best friend."

"You have such a young friend?"

"Actually I'm older than her." She admits, incredulous in front of the other two band members. That must be really nice for a fan.

"What?" - Jungwon replies, turning toward our personal host, then squaring her not-so-subtly: breasts, hips, skirt cleavage. Trivial. - And you are?" He asks, lifting his gaze.

"You're a rascal, huh? You always gave me that idea." Ester comments, suddenly much less shy.

Sunoo waves to her, and is probably the person who best fits the standards of a partner for korean male genre, in this room. Yes, I'm mean, but I have my reasons.

"Beautiful people always go in pairs, huh?" Sunoo asks.

Amanda smiles at him naturally, you can tell, she is not flustered like with me. With me she feels uncomfortable, but how the fuck is that possible? I'm pure easy-going. I'm a good guy, I don't understand.

"How did you two meet?" Yeonjun asks, after a while, as everyone takes a seat and orders in turn.

"We faced the same high school, then we drifted apart…." Begins the story Ester, who might have preferred to omit this part.

"Then my boyfriend fuck his cousin and I had no one - Amanda smiles, in the tomb-like silence that has fallen. - She snatched me up like a stray dog and I'm really grateful."

Ester is struck by her words, to the point that her eyes glaze over. "Are you dumb? What are you saying?" She seems to ask, but I don't understand why they are speaking in italian, I guess…. or was it spanish?

"Omo, how cute - Yeonjun says, amidst the primitive howls of the boys excited by seeing them so vulnerable, helpless, cute. Meanwhile, however, he pushes himself on Amanda, in that sort of pink micro tank top he's wearing. - But what do you mean he cheated on you with his cousin?"

Amanda, surprised by the contact, immediately looks toward Ester, then laughs nervously. "I was beginning to wonder when you were going to ask, I was getting worried." She admits.

Wait, right, her cousin!

No, it's even more serious that she was betrayed.

No, that she had no one.

Why didn't she have anyone?

"They had been dating for years. I was so confused that I didn't understand it at that time."

"You have a radar for assholes." Ester smiles wryly.

"We moved to the beach area, though, so I recovered quickly." Amanda jokes, downplaying the situation shyly.

"Oh, that's too bad." Says Soobin, more interested.

"Our sea is the best." She brags, the redhead.

"We have the sea too, but I don't know if it's better." Says Yeonjun, leaning on Amanda's shoulder but looking at Ester.

"Are you asking me to go there together?" The friend asks.

"Would you say yes?"

"Ew, hyung." Beomgyu whines.

"Disgusting." Soobin nods.

"Too close." Reminds Jay instead, who is focused as usual: good job!

Yeonjun shrugs off laughing. "You should ask her if it's okay before scolding me."

"I've already decided it's not okay."

"In fact, detach yourself." She supports the argument of her great love, Ester, hugging our host and holding in her thin arms.

"How can you talk to me like that?" He pretends to be offended, my former friend, one of many.

I sigh, drawing attention. "Jungwon, do you take karaoke?"

"Oh, it's like high school." Responds the leader laughing and starting for his room.

While the food is being ordered and Taehyun is busy distributing the glasses, three or four different speeches have already started. The odd ones, to tell the truth, are Sunghoon and me.

Even Jay has engaged in a heated discussion with Taehyun, and I'm not surprised, being the only intelligent one among them idiots. Occasionally Sunghoon and I look at each other, but then we quickly look away.

When Jungwon comes back, with the karaoke machine, they all really cheer like kids, looking like they're really having fun.

As Sunghoon helps him mount it in the flat TV, I start to feel the alcohol fumes cloud me. Always too busy with work, I can hardly even engage in this kind of leisure, plus alcohol has too many calories…. if I have to choose it will be ramen.

"Who's first?"

"Me - Jay offers, getting up. - I'll go."

"Omo! Are you really going to sing?" Ester asks, while Amanda also looks at the same boy.

"What do you want me to sing?"

The friend turns to our host, noticing her absorbed gaze on Jay, I can see her smiling in confusion and embarrassment. "What do you recommend?"

Amanda returns the nervous smile. "Brought the heat back?"

"Wait, do we sing our own songs?" Sunoo asks.

"Since them are here, we could show them a good time." Says Soobin, though his tone sounds rather malicious.

"Why this one?" Jay asks.

"Your voice is very beautiful, it's perfect for the song. You make incredible notes and you sing more." She replies, like any fan, but she's actually right.

Jay is crazy in that song, he has more space, it is really remarkable how he can use his voice, although he does not profess to be a singing talent, too modest as always.

She was able to surprise him, perhaps excite him, this little b… ok, stop it. Jay feels the same way, which is why he looks at her in confusion, looking away shortly after, annoyed but, knowing him, also embarrassed.

I guess if she said something like that to me I'd have a heartbeat, like today in her apartment…. And not only that.

Why am I always horny?

"Okay, and that's fine."

"Woo! - Shouts Beomgyu, raising his fist in cheers. - Go Jay oppa!"

Yeonjun mumbles, looking exhausted. "And what am I supposed to sing?"

"Good boy gone bad!" Ester immediately responds.

Amanda nods. "Yes, please! The rap part!"

The two start squawking, eventually annoying everyone except Yeonjun, clearly.

"In live he doesn't sing it well." Beomgyu teases him.

"You just sound envious to me!" Ester replies, confidentially.

He offended looks at her. "How?"

But isn't he the one who was interested in her, with that petite, slender, pale pink body of hers, in that little black micro dress that highlights her prosperous breasts?

I like Ester, honestly I would like to fuck her, however, I still prefer Amanda's smaller breasts, her harmonious proportions, her more shapely and trained body, squeezed into that other micro dress of an innocent lilac, but only that of innocent. It sticks to her, and no need to imagine what she's hiding, it tickles my taste buds to the point of watering every time I look at her.

Anything from the way she looks to the way she moves her lips to speak is erotic. Perhaps what makes it erotic is her inferior position, come to think of it, because it makes me want to possess her, in every way.

"You steal my thunder, hyung." Jay says theatrically, putting on a big voice.

Taehyun bursts out laughing. "He's right, you're always so intrusive."

"I was just inquiring." Yeonjun justifies himself.

First Jongseong sings, the girls sing in chorus with him while we in the band just mime, involved. When Yeonjun performs his number, like a trained animal, during the part of his rap the two start screaming like rabid fans, holding hands.

After him sings Taehyun, one of their best songs, We lost the summer, this makes them dream, it is obvious. They are attending their own private concert.

In fact, although not exploited properly, Yeonjun has the talent to be a very good rapper, and it's obvious that it bothers me, because among the five thousand things I can do perfectly, this doesn't fit in.

I tried very little, I didn't experiment enough, maybe precisely because I thought I might fail. I've been told I'm good, but I don't really believe it.

"Omo. You are really outstanding in live."

"There are fans who shell out millions of won to see us in concert, but you have never been there?" Soobin asks curiously.

Ester glares at him. "I've been to all of you concerts since I moved here."

"How about you?" He turns to Amanda.

"I really…. - starts to say, shyly-I've only been to see Enhypen. Once."

I hold back an expression of sheer enjoyment but still look at Yeonjun, wanting to enjoy the reaction of his wounded pride, he doesn't seem too surprised though, instead tapering his gaze focused on her, did he intend it as a challenge? I certainly hope not.

"At what stage?" Jungwon asks.

"The one in Seoul, the last one."

"Were you already working for Hybe? You could have asked them. Staff tickets are discounted." Sunoo explains.

"It means we will have to invite you two to our next tour. You might even leave with us." Yeonjun replies.

But what does he say?

Amanda looks at him surprised, not knowing what to say.

"Excuseme, what?" Sunghoon asks.

"We could ask for new hosts, maybe to accompany us during the concerts. In fact, they are very stressful."

Amanda is embarrassed, I can see it, my heart clenching to see her so distressed. She certainly didn't want the matter to come out again, this time in front of Sunoo and Jungwon.

"Too bad Amanda is already our host." Jungwon replies, with the confidence of a leader. Even if he uses his power little.

Yeonjun puts his arm on Amanda's shoulder, drawing her closer. "Contracts expire. When does yours?"

"There is no date." She answers, surprising us.

We stay staring at her pretty much all of us, even her friend, who strangely did not ask her such an obvious question. Neither did any of us, it seems.

"What?" I ask, surprised.

"They said they would let me know."

"You signed without knowing when you would be finished?" Yeonjun also asks, confused but also annoyed.

"What was your host doing earlier?" Amanda asks, bluntly, without turning around.

"She was a model, and she got into a scandal right away, and they cancelled her."

"Did she owe money to Hybe?"

"What?- Answers Soobin, surprised. - No, no."

"You owed money to Hybe?" Repeats Yeonjun, equally bewildered.

"Whose turn is it now to sing?" He diverts Jay's attention.

"Sunoo, you go." Says Jungwon, understanding Jay's strategy.

The boy who was quietly drinking his cocktail is practically forced to get up. "Yah! Are you animals?"

"Just sing, hyung." Snorts Niki.

Clearly, dirty laundry need to be washed at home, and we still have much to discuss. They are certainly not the ones who need to know these things; it is not with them that she should open up. She seems to understand this and lowers her face like a scolded little girl. How cute?

Sunoo starts singing, they listen to him dreamily, and I have to admit that his timbre, his voice, his skills, are outstanding overall. He gives 100 percent at karaoke as much as at a concert, and this, undoubtedly, makes him a great performer.

The evening, from this moment on, goes on more and more cheerfully. We are increasingly full of alcohol, we smoke, eventually even Sunghoon relaxes slightly, although he always keeps his distance from TXT.

We dine with korean meals, Taehyun takes the opportunity to explain some of our culture at the table, and they seem really interested. In fact, it might be helpful if they want to marry a korean.

I'm not sure what their culture is in this regard, but korean men often demand that the woman take care of and cook for her husband, especially if he is the only one working - at least that's what they taught me - although, judging from Amanda's resume, not many korean will want to marry her.

Intuiting Ester's personality as well, I could say the same about her.

In any case, Amanda has said she will leave Korea. In another place, she could continue to live normally, but at this point even if the seven of us kept our mouths shut, some of them others will tell around. I wouldn't be surprised if it's Yeonjun.

It's not that I'm sad about it, that's clear, but it would have been fun to see her out, if only as a pastime. Maybe friends with benefits. Honestly even to be kind, we live too different lives, we belong to different worlds, too different.

I do feel a little sorry for her, though. If Hybe really set her up, she will no longer have the choice of her life, to stay in Korea, should she so desire. And if marrying a korean man was her dream, as I imagine it is for many foreign young silly girls, because after all, a bit silly girl she is, shouldn't she be able to decide for herself?

As I walk out of the bathroom, passing through the kitchen where Beomgyu, Niki, Yeonjun and Sunghoon are, I notice that in the balcony, Jay and Jungwon stand secluded whispering. It seems to be an intimate conversation and I usually let it go, but right now I'm really curious about what they are saying to each other.

I get a drink, the balcony door is very close to the refrigerator but I still can't tell, plus I don't want to stare at them too directly.

I approach sipping my cocktail I see Jay holding the e-cig in his hands. Lately he had stopped using it, who knows why to pick it up just today.

"We can continue to play it cool." Jungwon says, under his breath.

Jay sighs in frustration. "We need to find out more about their host."

"I don't think they'll give us any trouble that way - the leader replies seriously, looking at his friend - being in the same situation, it wouldn't make sense to expose something like that to the media."

"I don't think they're going to sabotage us with the press - Jay explains, and I approach with confidence, because I know I can participate in this conversation. - Our host is really pretty, isn't she? You saw her tonight Amanda."

"I'm still shaken." Jungwon adds, amused, alluding.

I twist my lips, annoyed that the discussion has come to this point. "And what do you think they might do?"

"Our contract has just started, they might override us. Even if it was just to annoy Heeseung, Yeonjun would be able to take it." Jay makes sure he is not being watched by him as he whispers.

"He doesn't have that much power." I respond in a rush, a little too much, I guess.

Jungwon smiles, I find it rather creepy. "We can't know."

"Would she go so far as to disturb Hybe just to annoy me?"

"Amanda is fresher than their host, I gather." Says Jay, lucid as usual.

"Haven't you dirtied her enough already?" Jungwon asks, laughing, as the oldest among them stiffens a bit, perhaps uncomfortable with the question.

"It's not funny." He replies. Yeah, I think so, too.

"You need to tell me more about what you did - Jungwon sighs, leaning against the railing - but regardless, it will be enough if they never meet again, right?"

"You are the one who is a great friend of theirs. You should know them, what are they going to do?" I ask annoyed.

"Weren't you friends with Yeonjun? - He reminds me of the leader, annoyed by my tone despite being three years younger than me. - And they won't do anything in my opinion anyway. The situation with Amanda, it won't last."

At least ten seconds of silence after his words. We are the ones left without, looking at him.

"Why are you staring at me? Isn't it obvious?"

Jay tightens his lips, looking away; I am quite confused. Based on what does he say this? I don't want to sound naive, so I say nothing.

"It's funny, I admit - Jungwon chuckles - considering who he hangs out with, but you see it too, don't you? Sunghoon is crazy about her, and he's in denial right now, so let alone what he'll do when he accepts it. That is, if he accepts it."

Jongseong crosses his arms over his chest, then snorts. "Are you sure that's what it is?"

"That's what I think, yes."

Why is the one who is speechless now only me?

Perhaps because as long as this was just my consideration, my thought, it appeared simply remediable.

Amanda is beautiful, really beautiful, but beautiful enough to drive Park Sunghoon crazy? She who was just an ordinary girl until yesterday, what is so special about her that makes him crazy?

And why did this affect me so much that it took my words away.

"There is also the matter of her friend." Jay recalls.

"Why? She is not a host."

"It's possible they might want to fuck her in the future. - He asks, and seems genuinely concerned. - They shouldn't."

"She is a normal girl, even though it may annoy you, she has every right to hang out with them if she feels like it."

"She hasn't been soiled, has she?" I ask, after I don't know how long.

Is that really the first thing I can think of to say in such a situation? They look at me in a mixture of puzzlement and amazement.

"Look at this guy." Jungwon comments, looking at me.

Jay sighs. "I won't say anything."

"Why?" He asks him.

"Because it's not entirely inexplicable."

The leader seems to understand the message between the lines and clicks his tongue in amusement. "Really? Is that what happens to you after you fuck her? It's starting to scare me."

Me sleeping with her… yes, of course I have - I would say, if asked. But why would I lie?

I just didn't like that tasteless exit. It's okay if I do these things, just me. Not Jungwon, not Jay, much less Sunghoon.

"Let's change the subject. - Sentences Jay, seriously. - Heeseung, you are better than Sunghoon." He reminds me, I know better.

"You are misunderstanding." I say stiffly.

"Anyway, maybe if you keep her quiet, Ester, she won't be seen with them." Says the leader.

Jay looks at him. "That's all we need and they send me in forever hiatus."

Jungwon bursts out laughing, holding his stomach. "You're right."

On second thought, wouldn't that be better? Yes, I'm not completely listening to the discussion, but wouldn't it be better if Amanda stopped being a host? That way, maybe her reputation is still savable? Honestly, Jongseong and Jaeyun are not the types to go around flaunting it, partly because it would be to their detriment.

When Sunghoon's shift comes, however, things may change. Not to mention that Niki will also have his shift. If she really were to sleep with everyone, there would really be no redemption.

"What are you thinking?" Jungwon asks me, curious, noticing my silence.

"Nothing, why?"

"Don't lie." Jay continues.

"Do you guys want this situation to last? - The leader asks again. - We may have another host if her inevitably leads to problems."

"Amanda will continue to be our host - Jay replies seriously. - That's not going to change."

"You can date her if she wasn't a host, right?" His friend reminds him.

I stiffen, again, he's not even wrong. "But no, she likes everyone. I'm not interested in a non-exclusive relationship."

Perhaps that is the one fundamental truth - beyond the fact that she have to do it for work, she likes them all. I'm not even in a position to judge her, after all, that's natural. However, this means that Amanda can only and only be a host.

Maybe all this time I just kept acting, thinking, like a kid.

"Let's play truth or dare." Proposes Sunoo, back with the girls and Taehyun in the kitchen, lifting a bottle of tequila.

"Alcoholic version?" Niki mumbles drunkenly, sitting partly on the floor, partly on the sofa.

"Are we on a high school night theme?" Comments Sunghoon, who strangely looks at me but then looks away.

What does he have in mind?

"Let's do it." Amanda staggers, throwing herself onto the couch as her bare legs are inches from Riki's face.

"You should go to sleep, you're lost." Jongseong tells her, twisting his lips.

"No! Let's play." She smiles, satisfied as a child.

I clear my throat, against it. "Yes, maybe we should call it a night."

"No, come on, now that was getting interesting!" Beomgyu complains, whining like a wayward child.

It's now 2 am, we have commitments tomorrow anyway, they certainly do too, to continue this evening would be pointless and tiring. Besides, tonight, it's my turn but she if she's in this condition…I just can't.

Ester hugs her friend. "Now I'm going home."

"How are you coming? - Amanda asks her, surprisingly lucid for having her eyes practically closed due to alcohol. - I'll drive for you!"

"But you don't even drive, dumb!"

"I… I can drive! - She says, with conviction but slurping. - I don't have a car but I can drive." He continues in italian, I guess, and I don't understand.

To look at them, these two are cute. As they tease and joke, as they worry about each other, it's a relationship I haven't had with anyone in a while, I guess I miss it.

"I'll take you back." Jay offers, I guess either to let her end the evening on a high note, or to fuck her (much more likely).

"I have the car, too!" Beomgyu says.

"Yes, but you're with mine now." Yeonjun reminds him.

"Can I borrow it?"

"I'll take her back, I said." Jongseong then asserts himself.

"But…I have my own." Ester replies, genuinely surprised.

"All the more reason, you can't drive."

"And how do you get back?"

"I'll call a driver." He sighs.

Ester is easily persuaded, who greets her friend by kissing and squeezing her, I imagine she is very grateful for the opportunity she is having, thanks to her. She then greets everyone rather meekly to quickly follow Jay who leads the way.

It is time to accompany the sumbae as well, finally. Yeonjun is rather reluctant but does not object probably because he knows he is busy, however, he does not miss the opportunity to greet Amanda by giving her a sensual kiss on the cheek, she remains completely petrified.

"Yah! - She turns informally, Sunghoon, glaring at him as he simply laughs it off. - Why don't you leave?"

"See you sumbae." I extend my hands toward the door gently pointing him to the exit and he, goes outside.

We say goodbye to them all and then everyone heads off to their room, guess who excepted.

Sunghoon is still looking at me, but what does he want? I don't have time.

"Go to your room, I'll come and give you something in a little while." I tell her.

She lifts my thumb, she is very cute while doing so, but I keep feeling conflicting impulses. I'm contrite, I have to keep my composure, but she doesn't make it easy: with her red cheeks, her moist, glossy full lips, her breasts so obvious no bra.

Sunghoon seems to read my mind since when I look at him, he allows himself a restrained, ironic laugh.

Amanda doesn't realize it, she simply walks off to my room, I like this feeling. But Sunghoon is still watching me, what is it, he wants to comment on the matter? Make me change my mind? I'll wait for her to recover, but I'm not giving up.

"Are you happy?" He asks, I knew it.

I smile nonchalantly. "Average, more than the fact that they're gone."

"A relief indeed - he confers, tame - anyway you say you don't care, right?"

"But who? The host?" I ask incredulously and nervously.

"That's right." He clicks his tongue, as if I got the reaction he waited.

What does he want?

"It seems the other way around, doesn't it? We could prove to each other that we are in good faith, and fuck her together."

I honestly stand stunned at such a proposal.

No, he can't be serious, he can't have thrown off the mask already.

"Didn't you say you would never sleep with her?" I ask, suddenly nervous.

"She won't know." He answers, quietly.

"What?" I am incredulous.

"We close her eyes, honestly, even if she gets it I don't care. The important thing is that she doesn't see it."

I just laugh. Me, I have nothing to prove. I won't let him get his hands on her before me.

It's just a matter of pride.

"No." I answer.

"Why?"

"Do it on your turn."

"But she would know it's me."

Why does he answer so quickly? He doesn't give me time to think, to understand.

"No."

He looks at me surprised. "Why?" He asks again.

"Why don't you ask Niki?"

"He doesn't like me."

And I do? In theory, before today, I would have said so, but why Park Sunghoon do you make it so to love you? You are a manipulator, an asshole.

"I don't care about anything - he puts his hands out, with a disinterested expression - let me be clear. But I'm showing you. I wouldn't feel like doing it with others anyway."

"With me it's not strange?"

"No, because I think you're someone who just thinks about getting laid."

He's praising me. I know he is, but why does he have this effect on me? I look away, honestly embarrassed.

"I know it's the first of your shifts, however, I didn't think you cared about these things…"

And now he belittles me, but elegantly.

I know he is trying to manipulate me.

"How do you want to stop her from seeing?"

"Is that a yes?"

"Don't run." I admonish him.

But why don't I deny it?

Honestly, I shouldn't care what he thinks of me, I should just give a damn and let him think I'm crazy in love with Amanda, or not?

Equally and perhaps stronger is the desire not to appear weak. Everything I've imagined so far is nothing but pure, very silly fantasies.

Hanging out with her? How could I.

"I have a night mask." H explains.

I sigh. "No, it's weird. Besides, you saw her, nothing's going to happen tonight."

"She'll be fine." He tells me confidently.

His eyes burn with desire at this moment and I feel great annoyance, but also great fear. He cannot, must not think that I care about Amanda, because that would make me weak, ridiculous.

"There's no point in you wanting to do that, she would know right away that it's you."

"The important thing is that she doesn't see me." He repeats, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

It is obvious, he wants to continue playing with her, and he wants to do it more seriously. If I allow him to do so, I'll go along with his game clearly, but if I don't -- I'll be weak.

"Of course, if you say no, though, I will let it go. Maybe I was wrong about you." He sighs falsely sorry.

I twist my lips, annoyed. "I don't like the idea of you being there."

"You said you wouldn't do anything, given her condition."

"Even if we did, it would be strange. No?"

He smirks. "No problem, hyung. It's fine with me."

Yes, I get it, it's just not so fine with me. It's our first night together, after all, I already had my own idea of what was going to happen, I don't know if I want to give it up.

"What about Wonyoung?" I ask then.

Sunghoon tightens his lips. "It's not going to come out, right?"

"What if hypothetically Amanda could get to her?"

"She couldn't say she's seen me anyway. She's a fan… And then realistically.. how could she get to her?"

I am stunned. No, it can't go his way but I'm not doing anything concrete to prevent it. He is younger than I am but I fear his contempt so much? What is happening to me?

"Hyung, it's a game. You know too that she… is only for this…"

"Don't say that." I look at him badly, really badly.

Sunghoon smiles. "Don't get me wrong, it's just that… if she's here, why don't we just have fun? Leave the matters of the heart to Jongseong and Jaeyun. We… are different, aren't we?"

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