#so I grew up being very afraid of addiction

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Can you recommend any good books on addiction in capitalism? Your pov is always so interesting to me.

That's a good question anon - I feel like I'm still working through some of my thoughts about addiction. But I'll share some of the media that have influenced my thinking recently.

Last year I listened to Gabor Maté - Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction on audiobook recently. I found it a bit frustrating - partly because it spends a lot of ideas about addiction that I didn't need debunking. But there's a lot there.

Then this year a couple of different things made me feel like I understood addiction more fully: Jon Robbins talk about his alcoholism on How Do You Cope and Flora Feltham's discussion of addiction in Bad Archive (a NZ book of essays - you may be able to find an ebook copy).

This conversation between Jon Robbins and Adrian Chiles also does a really good job of exploring the difference between alcoholism and drinking that is damaging your life - which I think is really important.

I've never read anything really robust about it - but I've heard from various places that a third of US soldiers used Heroin in Vietnam and just 1% continued to use Heroin when they returned home. There's something pretty fundamental there about getting your needs met.

I have in the past read some really interesting articles criticizing the recovery industry including 12 step programmes (there was a really long article that I remember being really interesting that I can visualise, but not find again). I'm not sure that I would agree with it all if I read it again. But I think scepticism about the limits and way things are being practiced, particularly when programmes intersect with the justice system, is very important.

It's not what you asked, but in terms of celebrity and addiction a pair of interviews with Tony Slattery one from 2003 where he presented himself as in recovery, and one from 2019 where he didn't had a big impact. It certainly influenced how I saw Liam's interviews.

[dalishious]

Teia and Viago Master Post

It seems my overwhelming love for Teia Cantori and Viago de Riva has garnered a reputation that I’m worth asking questions about them. I’m honoured! But I think it would be easier to just make a master post about them that I can direct to, so that’s what this is.

Appearances

Dragon Age: Deception (Teia and Viago appear as unnamed Crows. It is later confirmed in Tevinter Nights that it was them)

Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights; “Eight Little Talons”

Dragon Age: The Missing

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Pre-DATV Events

9:44 – Teia and Viago are in Ventus when the Antaam attack.

Between 9:44 and 9:52 – The events of “Eight Little Talons” takes place. (Viago says they were “recently” in Ventus when the Qunari attacked, meaning it’s probably closer to 9:44.)

9:52 – Teia and Viago are in Vyrantium when the Antaam attack. They took a contract together to kill Lady Crysanthus, who was a member of the Venatori. They briefly run into Varric and Harding, who are following Solas’s trail.

Information on Teia

Teia’s full name is Andarateia Cantori. She is the head of House Cantori, which holds the seat of Seventh Talon. House Cantori’s territory is centred in Rialto.

Teia is 28 in “Eight Little Talons”. While we don’t know for sure when the story takes place, it is most likely around 9:45-9:46 based on context clues. If so, this would make Teia in her mid-30s during Dragon Age: The Veilguard.

Teia grew up on the streets of Antiva City with no family, surviving on thievery. She was taken by the Crows at age eight, and considers them her family now. (In “Eight Little Talons,” she reflects that she’s been a Crow for 20 years.)

Teia was the youngest Crow to gain the rank of Talon in history. She is also an outlier in that she does not come from a wealthy, prolific family background. This caused quite a controversy, where she was considered an “overreaching street rat;” while the Crows tell recruits that anyone can become a Talon, it very rarely happens.

Teia has her own set of rules to follow; for example, she refuses to kill servants unless absolutely necessary.

Teia’s best skill is being a master manipulator, with a level of astute observation in others that gives her an advantage in pretty much any conversation. She is very good at figuring out what to say and do in order to get the response she wants from someone.

Teia’s biggest flaw is, in my opinion, her naiveté. You could also say that the fact that she’s held onto strong morals and sensitivity to others is a strength, certainly. But the fact that she wants to see good in everyone, even people who arguably don’t give her any reason to, has gotten her into trouble.

Teia was in an abusive relationship in the past; Dante Balazar, who was Second Talon before his death in “Eight Little Talons”. Dante was addicted to lyrium, and would lash out at her verbally and physically. At some point Teia fought back and finally broke things off, while leaving a scar on his shoulder. Despite all this, Teia held sympathy for him.

Teia is afraid of dogs, after being chased by rabid ones on the streets as a little girl.

Teia has a tattoo marking her as a member of House Cantori on her back.

Teia’s horse is named Andoral (after the archdemon).

Teia has probably not been a Talon for very long; I would guess less than five years as of “Eight Little Talons.”

Information on Viago

Viago is the head of House de Riva, which holds the seat of Fifth Talon. House de Riva’s territory is centred in Salle.

We do not know Viago’s age for certain, but I would guess he’s in his mid-40s during Dragon Age: The Veilguard based on vibes and sensible timelines.

Viago is a master poisoner, and carries around plenty of it wherever he goes… as well as antidotes, because in addition to this, he is extremely paranoid about being poisoned himself. He does not eat or drink anything before testing it first, and he even takes a small dose of Adder’s Kiss every day to build up a resistance to it.

As one of many bastard children of the Antivan King, Viago was only given two choices in life: either live in luxurious exile, or join the Crows. He resents all his half-siblings who chose the first, and he resents the king himself. Viago may be more powerful than them all, even the king, but he is now stuck in this life. Had he not been, he thinks he could be a better ruler of Antiva.

Viago also holds resentment towards his mother, who it is hinted was an alcoholic to cope with the loss of interest from the King. Viago recalls her wine-stained “demon teeth” from when he was a child.

Viago does not give a shit if people like him or not; he only wants to be respected and feared. (Despite this, Teia tries to make the other Talons like him.) He is also used to having to constantly watch his back, and typically thinks the worst in people.

Viago tries to avoid emotional thinking, preferring hard facts and logic.

Viago has a pair of adder snakes he milks for venom. He also now has a third named Emil, choosing to keep the snake that bit and nearly killed him in “Eight Little Talons”.

Viago enjoys art collection.

My guess for how long Viago has been a Talon is somewhere around 10-15 years, based on vibes and timelines. I think he was fairly young himself when he succeeded his predecessor. I also think it’s entirely possible that the Antivan King arranged his rise to power, based on the comment in “Eight Little Talons” from Dante: “Your daddy will protect you.”

Dialogue

(I will add more as I hear it!)

Rook: The Cantori Diamond is your casino? The occupation hasn't closed your business?

Teia: Business may be down, but it isn't "my" casino to close.

Viago: An easy mistake to make. Isn't that right, Andarateia Cantori?

Teia: I am no landlord, and anyone who treats me as such shall be evicted.

-

Rook: Are there many Crows like Jacobus?

Viago: We have many fledglings, but he is something of a prodigy. They tend to do very well, or very badly.

Teia: Not all things end with clarity, as you and I both know.

Viago: Fine. Endings are fuzzy. Starts are shocking. Middles... middles are worth lingering.

-

Teia: Fighting back suits you. Your tone has much improved since we last argued.

Viago: Excuse me. I wasn't aware it was my tone that was at issue.

Teia: That's all right, I'm sure you'll pay closer attention from now on.

Viago: See, this is why we split. And got back together. And split.

-

Teia: Fighting back, making our voices heard... this is feeling like old times. The good ones.

Viago: Thank you for the clarification.

Teia: I meant it.

Viago: So did I.

-

Rook: So you two are both Talons. Doesn't that make you rivals?

Viago: Rank in one area is rarely applicable to others. Which is to say, only a fool would try to impose rank on Teia.

Teia: Wise words from a sometimes fool.

Viago: A history I would wish on no one, lest they take it from me.

-

Teia: Thank you for spurring this rebellion, Rook. It's good to see Viago energized.

Viago: When have I ever been not energized?

Teia: Certain mornings.

Viago: Only after certain evenings.

-

Rook: You two are confident we can take the Butcher when the time's right?

Viago: Ending one life is a punctuation. There is much more to be said first.

Teia: Let's not craft a treatise when a limerick can suffice.

Viago: And that is why your epitaphs are legendary.

-

Viago: Have you been home in the last week?

Teia: I won't let the fledglings see the Diamond empty.

-

Rook: The Cantori Diamond is your casino? The occupation hasn't closed your business?

Teia: Business may be down, but it isn't "my" casino to close.

Viago: An easy mistake to make. Isn't that right, Andarateia Cantori?

Teia: I am no landlord, and anyone who treats me as such shall be evicted.

-

Teia: I told her their bickering was amateurish, and that they'd need to work much harder to argue as well as we do.

Viago: That was altogether the wrong message to take away from that.

Teia: I thought you enjoyed our little squabbles?

Viago: Among—and possibly overshadowed by—other things.

-

Viago: Occupied! The insult of it!

Teia: It's more than insulting.

Viago: It's salt in the wound. And that is my purview.

-

Rook: Were either of you trained by Heir?

Viago: Not this one. Mine was… stern.

Teia: Mine spoke in the third person until you were skilled enough to be recognized as an equal.

Viago: Starting with grammatical murder. Fascinating.

-

Teia: You're tense. Is that a furrow on your troubled brow?

Viago: You like my furrow. Called it the thinking man's dimple.

Teia: Not in public, I don't.

-----

SOURCES:

Dragon Age: Deception

Dragon Age: Tevinter Nights

Dragon Age: The Missing

Dialogue between Teia and Viago (DATV)

Letter from Mistress Trella (DATV)

[oblique-lane]

more mercenary analysis, whichever merc you want <3

Not a mercenary but... Okay!

Let's dissect Pauling

Always so collected, responsible and efficient. The one who is not afraid to get her hands dirty for the sake of a goal, and her performance is always one hundred percent. What could possibly be not cool about her?

Well, maybe the fact that this all is, in fact, an act. Of course it is.

I'm not saying her determination and dedication to her job aren't sincere decisions of her heart, she really enjoys it and shines in her work. It's just a matter of WHY and WHAT she's doing it for. And on what scale.

For her, her job is EVERYTHING. Eagerly working 364 days a year with barely any rest, masochistically putting herself in so much danger, blindly following the boss's instructions, not even hesitating to kill people standing on the way...

Wow, there's gotta be something going on here.

Well, obviously the Administrator plays A HUGE role in this situation. Why would Pauling trust her so much? Referring to the comics, Pauling trusted her wholeheartedly on whatever the Administrator was planning, even though she didn't know what it was. This blind following that vaguely resembles nothing less than a weird somewhat child-to-a-mother attachment. It's just a Boss, just a job, why?

Because that's what it is. Mother issues. Very apparent.

We don't know anything about Pauling's past, so there's where the headcanons begin:

I'm assuming her birth mother was very neglectful and dismissing, never acknowledged her daughter's accomplishments and struggles. No matter how hard Pauling tried to become "worthy" in her eyes, it seemed to be never enough, as if she didn't even exist at all. Maybe her mother was a substance addict or something and their household wasn't safe and stable, so Pauling had to become an adult early and run away from home as a teenager and find a job to get by.

(I assume that because I believe there was a mention in the canon lore that Ms.Pauling had been working for the Administrator for long long years (don't remember exactly), indicating that she started working when she was still a minor).

So, being taken under the Administrators wing, her young wounded brain found a substitute for a very thing she was lacking, subconsciously clinging onto the Administrator as a newly mother figure, in order to "get it right this time".

Administrators Strictness, responsibility and demandingness were the most favorite qualities of a person of authority in Pauling's eyes, in contrast to the laziness, unaccountability and indifference of the environment in which she grew up. She could finally strive.

This time she would show the mother figure that she's worthy, she's important and irreplaceable; she exists. She would prove that no amount of hardship is too much for her if it means approval for the Administrator.

And the Administrator kind-of-sort-of gave Pauling this pseudo-love in return, encouraging her to sacrifice herself even more for their work. Which is at the very least unfair, and at most just predatory. Administrators "love" was conditional, in contrast with when the real motherly love Pauling unknowingly expected. Administrator was too immature for a mother figure, too much in power for a partner or a friend, yet too close for a formal boss. What is this!? Something not nice.

The Administrator doesn't love Pauling for Pauling, she loves her working qualities. And thus, Paulings subconscious guess was confirmed that "I'm only important when I'm doing the job. I AM the job."

Tying your worth to what you DO instead of what you are is a huge dangerous existential rout one could choose. But she never really knew her importance outside of her skills, so she wouldn't know.

Now imagine how actually painful that character arc was for her, when the Administrator proved herself to be unreliable and secretive, and when Pauling started to question her intentions for the first time.

"... Because I trusted you!"

"Then why are you questioning me now?"

It wasn't even the real conversation between them, just Pauling's mind torturing her.

It reminded me of the crisis of a 4-year-old when they realise that their parents aren't perfect; they don't know anything and they CAN hurt you.This shattering illusion of almighty love. When a child stops believing that the "harsh love" their mother treats them with is simply an abuse.

Wouldn't it be terrifying to realise in your 20s thar despite running for "the mother's approval" all your life, you will never truly get it. If your mother failed to provide it to you at such a young age, nothing will truly substitute that, especially now, when you're an adult, no one will love your inner child the way it was supposed to be loved.

Unless you yourself decide to take that role.

...

Realistically speaking, it's not nearly that sever with Pauling! She's happy in the environment she's in, there's lots of interests for her to explore (Guns, fights, killin'!) So many adventures every day! Even if Pauling has her inner suffering, it's not that bad aa I describe it. Her mother problems may actually be an advantage, a reason she is such a good and caring boss for the mercenaries.

I'm just edgying things down for the sake of the clearer analysis. But still...

If the Administrator will be gone and Pauling loses her life-dedicated job... What will be left? Who is Pauling once Mann Co is no more? Can she answer that?

References:

– A video that helped me better understand the Good Girl mask:

– "Lise Bourbeau's 5 soul wounds model: Injustice"

[locketsvault]

「 CUDDLING WITH BSD MEN PT 1/4 」

pairings: dazai x reader ፥ kunikida x reader ፥ atsushi x reader ፥ ranpo x reader

tags: gender neutral reader, no agab mentioned, first person, fluff, cuddling/phyiscal affection

warnings: none!

other parts: ada ᨒ port mafia ᨒ doa + the guild ᨒ the hunting dogs

a/n: this should be a complete series, let’s hope I actually manage it lol. no gender or sex mentioned, no pronouns either!

// dazai osamu ⌇˚.༄

⮑ It scares me to say he’s actually a really good cuddler?

⮑ I don’t really see Dazai initiating it at first, and if he did it would mostly be to mess around with you. I think the first time you both cuddle each other is when one of you is not in a good place mentally. Whether that be you, he knows immediately and pulls you into his arms, cradling your head with the back of his hand while holding you close. Or it’s him, tucking his head into your chest or neck, his arm wrapped around your waist afraid to let go.

⮑ Once he gets used to being vulnerable and physically affectionate with his partner I believe he’s very physically affectionate. If he can cuddle with you, he will. In public? Not so much, he’ll stick to holding your hand or letting you rest your head on his shoulder. At home? He’s your personal leech. He blackmails you into cuddles lol. While rereading this I believe he’d be affectionate in public to drive kunikida insane.

⮑ Back to my first point, he’s a very good cuddler. It might not seem like it, especially when you look at his past. Whether or not he’s had experience with physical affection/knows exactly what to do, it doesn’t matter. Look at his personality as a whole, this boy knows how to work people out, and how to please them. His hold feelings secure, sometimes almost too much.

⮑ 9/10 cuddles are very comfortable most of the time, but sometimes you are not allowed to move and damn it you need to pee.

// kunikida doppo ⌇˚.༄

⮑ To be honest I don’t really see him as a cuddler, but he’ll do it for you.

⮑ The thing about Kunikida is that, as we all know, if he’s in a relationship with you he’s serious. And he’ll do anything to please you. So if your main form of affection is physical and you love cuddles, then he will cuddle you. He rarely initiates cuddle time, and usually when he does it’s because he can tell you need cuddles.

⮑ At first cuddles with kunikida are a bit stiff, but after some reassurance it becomes easier. He picks up on your favorite positions, what soothes you, and what irritates you. He writes all of this down ofc. He will never be little spoon during cuddle sessions, nope. Closest you get is him laying his head on your chest, but to him that requires letting someone else take the reins in the relationship which scares him. There are times though when he comes back from a case and is mentally distraught, and holding him is one of the only ways to soothe him.

⮑ Movie nights consist of you laying your body back against his chest, cuddles in bed can be anything in regards of holding you. He won’t admit it but sometimes when a day has gotten to him knowing you’re safe in his arms help. Never in public though, that’s a no no. Especially in front of his colleagues like Dazai. Cuddles are a private matter.

⮑ 7/10, after time he’s cuddles are comforting, but sometimes he misses the mark.

// atsushi nakajima ⌇˚.༄

⮑ He purrs. On accident. That’s the headcanon.

⮑ The first time he purrs you’re both cuddling and he for the first time completely lets his defenses down around you. That plus the fact that his tiger is very found of you, he ends up purring. Poor baby is so flustered and he won’t stop apologizing. It’s cute.

⮑ In my mind he’s 50/50 with his cuddles in the beginning, but it doesn’t take long for him to learn! He’s an orphan and he grew up with no affection, especially not physical. So it’s all new to him. But I definitely see him as a super cuddly person. I think after his first time cuddling you he’d become addicted.

⮑ The first time you two cuddled it was slightly awkward, he didn’t know what was comfortable for him and was afraid of hurting you. How? I don’t know, but he’s Atsushi so anything was possible in his mind. Once he finds the right positions for him and gets used to it he loves physical affection and cuddling. It doesn’t matter who’s holding who. In fact, he loves when they switch it up and his partner holds him sometimes instead.

⮑ Play with his hair and he will always purr. He hated it at first, he felt embarrassed. But after reassurance and realizing it was comforting to you he got used to it. Sometimes when you’re not doing well and you’re cuddling, he’ll purr on purpose to comfort you. This should be a more serious headcanon I’m pffft. In all seriousness he loves cuddling you and his temperature runs high so he’s very warm.

⮑ 10/10 cuddles in my opinion. Warm, comfortable, soft, like cozing up next to a furnace on a nice winter day.

// ranpo edogawa ⌇˚.༄

⮑ Can he even sit still long enough for cuddles?

⮑ Cuddling with Ranpo is like being in a relationship with him, you never know what’ll happen or when it’ll happen. It’s chaotic at best. Whether he has a hard time staying still, focusing on cuddles, or if he’ll ask or initiate them. Even more so, sometimes he likes to mess with you if you ask him to cuddle with you.

⮑ No really he will tease you, in public or private. Which brings me to my second point, he loves pda. He could care less that it makes people uncomfortable. At work? Someone is sitting in someone’s lap, it’s a must. I don’t make the rules. On the train? He’s resting his head against your shoulder either sucking on a lollipop or rambling to you.

⮑ It’s easy to say that the first time you both cuddled it was actually before you two were even in a relationship. Personally I do not see Ranpo dating someone he does not know, so you guys were friends first. And at first, he didn’t really care for being touched or touching anyone. But after a rough case you offered him a hug and he all but melted into your arms. Which can I just say, having him in your arms feels like heaven. He’s so squishy and cute. Holding him while he’s pouting? You’re done for.

⮑ I think it’s safe to say that after long days or tough cases being in your arms and being told he did great today is exactly all he needs. Even sweets can’t compare to that. I now headcanon he calls you sweets, it’ suits him.

⮑ 8/10, he’s very cute and soft, laying against him and taking a nap while he work is a dream. He just can’t sit still for long.

main hub ✦ masterlist ✦ to do list

[lachiennearoo]

How to Make Friends

A more-or-less clear guide on social interactions

Growing up with heavy ADHD and generalized anxiety, it was always a bit hard for me to make friends and socialize. Despite my yearning for friendship, I was always "the quiet one" and "a loner", simply because I didn't know how to approach certain social situations, and it made any friendship I had extremely unstable (except for my sister @vive-le-quebec-flouffi, who was so extroverted and friendly it was literally impossible to escape her clutches of socialization)

As I grew older, I learned through a lot of trial and error what makes a good friendship.

Or, rather... what's the best way for someone to WANT to be your friend (without being superficial or hypocritical.)

Now, obviously, this doesn't work for everyone. But this is what I found helped me the most in social circles (especially online) and I hope it can help others too

LET'S BEGIN!

1 - Be yourself

Now that sounds very cliche and cringe, I know, but hear me out, because my opinion on this is not the same as all those feelgood inspirational movies and ads.

"Being yourself" isn't as simple as it seems. Because after all, what does "self" imply? If someone is, say, a criminal, would "be yourself" mean that they should embrace their sinful side?

No, obviously not.

"Be yourself" is a bit more nuanced, but I'll try to boil it down for you.

It just means "be unashamed of your qualities which you think are flaws". For example, "be yourself" would apply to someone who sees themselves as ugly, or maybe someone with an odd yet unharmful hobby, or a weird sense of fashion, or someone with say a handicap, a speech impediment. "Be yourself" is a sentence for the specific people who have genuine good in them, but are afraid to show it to others because they have been persecuted in the past, or are scared to be. It does NOT mean to accept genuine flaws. "Be yourself" does not include say violent anger issues, an addiction, a recent crime committed, or a generally unpleasant personality. Those are obviously not things to encourage. You can understand they may be a thing that happen to you, and accept it in your life, but that's different from being proud of it or encouraging it.

Speaking of personalities... let's talk about that

2 - Be kind

Now when some people hear that, they think it means "always smile no matter what, always look happy and positive, always agree with everyone just so you don't hurt their feelings, and never cause any drama", like you're Deku in My Hero Academia or Steven Universe in his titular show.

But that's... not quite that.

Obviously, kindness is something you use to help people feel better, to cheer up, and feel happy, and obviously to be kind, you need to have compassion, heart, empathy, and always put yourself in other people's shoes regardless of who they are. But it is not necessarily all-encompassing.

There's a rule that I think anyone learning kindness must learn. It's that sometimes, kindness means to be firm.

Not mean, of course. Not judgmental, not insensitive. Don't insult anyone, don't belittle or patronize anyone or make them feel inferior to you. That's still very rude and that's not what you want.

But what I mean is that sometimes, if you know that a person's actions towards something are wrong, especially if it's towards someone else, you must be able to point it out, and act accordingly. Don't just stand there and agree with them just because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You must still be able to know right from wrong. Kindness just means you won't be an ass about it, it doesn't mean to stay silent.

Hey, that brings me to point three!

3 - Show your own opinions

If there's one thing people hate just as much as meanness, it's those who stand by and do nothing about it.

Regardless of if you agree with them or not, if you say absolutely nothing when genuinely bad behaviour is happening, out of fear of "starting a fight", you are actively making the person who is being attacked feel alone.

I remember myself, when I was bullied in the first two grades of secondary school (11-13 years old for those who don't know) for "being ugly", I was told by my mother (who was friends with other kid's parents) that some of the kids "didn't hate me" and "didn't agree with the bullying". And I asked her "if they don't hate me, why won't they talk to me?" She never managed to answer that one. And it broke my heart, because outside of my sister, I had no one else.

Don't be like that. You may be scared of acting, but you know who would be grateful if you did act? The victims. And isn't their opinion of you much more important than the opinion of someone who acts with hatred and bigotry?

If you see someone suffering injustice, or even just hear someone who has a rather harmful opinion, don't be scared to tell them that you disagree. Obviously don't be an asshole about it, stay civil, but if you voice out your opinion, you will be seen as someone who stays true to their beliefs and is brave enough to stand up for them if the opportunity comes.

There's obviously much more that comes with social life (nonverbal cues, sense of humor, timing and mood), and I don't know everything (I'm just some random québécois girl on the internet). But I hope this was a bit more helpful. I did have fun writing this, at least. So I guess that's better than nothing!

[beenbaanbuun]

Love im addicted to you Matz and darling work!!✨pls make masterlist

Soooo I was thinking are they into role playing?? Like what scenario matz and darling choose??

I have one unholy one in my mind, what if mommy hwa ties hong to chair and make him watch as he takes darling ?? This would be soo🤌🏻🤌🏻

hello!!!! the masterlist is here!! she needs updating with the last few works but that’s a job for later im afraid 😭😭

——

they definitely like to add a little spice into the bedroom, and i was actually thinking about that very thing just the other day. hongjoong had been a little too bratty after waking up alone and had decided to take it out not just on darling, but also on seonghwa. now, darling knows better than anyone in that house that being a brat gets you nowhere, except in hongjoong’s case, where it gets you tied to a chair.

“comfy?” seonghwa purrs into his husbands ear as he tightens the last nod. hongjoong tries to wriggle a little, but to no avail. it doesn’t surprise him; seonghwa’s rigging skills are unmatched. hongjoong gives a little shake of his head in response to the question, a defiant look in his eyes as he glares up at his partner. “good; you’re not supposed to be.”

he hears a little giggle from across the room and his gaze shoots over to where you sit on the bed, completely bare and ready for the taking. his eyes narrow, determined to convey a message to you; he may be tied up, but he’s still your dom at the end of the day. you seem to understand it, but you never once wipe the smile from your face… fucking brat.

“you did this to yourself, mi amor,” seonghwa says, stalking his way over to where you sit. a pretty hand lands atop your head, tugging at you until you sit leaning against your mommy’s hipbone. you close your eyes in bliss as he brushes your hair from your face and hongjoong can’t help but feel annoyance bubble up within him at the sight. “hasn’t our little darling proved enough times that being a little shit gets you nowhere? haven’t you yourself dragged her over your lap enough for that little lesson to sink in?”

hongjoong, of course, has learnt that lesson. not only has he taught it to you plenty of times, but he’s also been on the receiving end a few more times than he’d like to admit. it doesn’t always end up with him tied to a chair, but it is always torture for him.

his eyes narrow as he watches seonghwa’s hand dip to your chin, gently caressing your soft skin before lifting your gaze from hongjoong to your mommy. the whimper you let out when a thumb slowly pushes its way between your lips is sinful. pair it with the wide eyes look you offer to his husband and its enough to make the devil himself let out a little prayer. only you could make innocence look so slutty…

“you know, you’re lucky my precious lamb is as understanding as she is,” the thumb is pulled from your mouth with a pop, a single string of saliva connecting the digit to the still parted lips. seonghwa swipes at them, smearing your own saliva against them. hongjoong almost cums in his pants when he sees you chase after the thumb, yearning to have something rested against your tongue once more. “she didn’t even snitch on you when you were being such a troublesome brat. seriously mi amor, refusing to let her sit with you simply because she grew too hungry to stay in bed with you this morning? it’s childish, isn’t it lamb?”

and although it really shouldn’t have, the question makes hongjoong smile. clearly seonghwa was in some sort of tyrannical headspace tonight; to punish hongjoong and then continue on to ask you such a leading question? he really is out for blood.

and it seems as though you can see it too. you blink up at seonghwa’s expression of faux-innocence, your lust addled brain taking just a moment longer to compute than usual. if you answer how seonghwa wishes for you to, hongjoong will no doubt pounce the moment he gets free of the restraints. if you don’t, seonghwa will no doubt take joy in punishing you too. you swallow down your worries as your mind races to decide which lover you’d rather have on your side.

“yes, mommy,” you whisper, your voice unsure and trembling. a proud smile forms on seonghwa’s face as you fall right into the trap he lay for you. he turns his head to face his husband, giving hongjoong a single look that tells all; take this punishment like a good boy, and taking care of you will be his reward…

[ldrloversblog]

In defence of Vivziepop and the women of HB

I’ve been seeing a lot of people criticising and bashing Vivienne for the way she writes her female characters compared to her male characters and to an extent fans and the antis are correct and their criticism is valid but it’s reached to a point that the fans and the antis are being more misogynistic than the person the claim to be a misogynist (Viv).

They are always blabbering about how she can’t write a woman who isn’t mean, evil, emotional and has no depth or a sad backstory. I believe that most of the times people forget that Viv is not the sole writer of the show, yes she is the creator but she is not the only one in the writing room she is not the only one who has control over the story and the characters there is whole team involved.

“But all her female characters are mean without reason”. Wrong there are reasons why they are the way they are.

Verosika is the way she is because of Blitz. In AT we learned that when she finally mustered up the courage to confess her love for the person that was her boyfriend and presumed bodyguard at the time (since she is a pop star) left her in the middle of the night without an explanation and stole her credit card which he maxed out on horse riding lessons. Ver isn’t a bad person just because, she is that way cause of heartbreak, hurt and betrayal. She even had his name tattooed on her arm that’s how committed she was.

Barbie Wire, a child with an abusive father turned to addiction and alcohol and we know that she still keeps on using because of a freak accident that killed her mother, burned the circus, left her and Blitz’s best friend disabled for life and scars than can never be healed.

Loona an abandoned child that grew up in the orphanage and every time she got adopted she got turned back due to her temper and problematic teenage behaviour. Of course someone who was never wanted as a child and treated nicely isn’t gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. Despite all that Loona has come a huge way from being the always mad, defensive and socially awkward hellhound we met in ep.1.

Octavia, one of the most if not mischaracterised and wrongly hated character of the show. The first time Octavia is shown to us she is a child that has a terrible nightmare where she can’t find her father anywhere. From that alone we can understand that Octavia is someone who’s afraid of being abandoned by the only person that she can find comfort in. Her parents constantly scream at each other and most of the time ignore her (whether it’s intentional or are too wrapped up in their own problems and goals) and never try to communicate with her properly or explain the whole situation. She is not a spoiled little princess who’s always broody and “emo” and annoying just to be, she is 17 a very vulnerable age at which she needs the two people that are supposed to take care of her in the world the most but she doesn’t and she feels that she never had them cause she never mattered, the only thing that mattered were their petty fights and duties. Via is allowed to feel hurt by her parents actions and lack of care and is right to confront them for their shitty behaviour towards her her whole life. She needs time to process what’s going on and come to terms with her own emotions and situation. If she doesn’t want to hear what Stolas has to say right now then that’s the right thing for her to do now. The love and trust she has for him is so strained and it’s gonna be a while before he can make up for his mistakes.

Stella is another character that the fans and antis complain that is evil (or cartoonishly evil which is boring as they’ve said after the last episode) because Viv has always to make her women unlikeable and stupid. Stella and Stolas were forced into the same fate without their consent at the age of 10 and have been miserable ever since. I like Stella I’m not gonna lie she is not the best written villain and we don’t know why she is the way she is but what we know is that she really hates and resents her husband and doesn’t really care for her child unless it’s to manipulate her against her father. Cartoonishly evil or not, she is entertainingly stupidly evil for someone driven by her hate and big ego, a narcissist that’s always right and above everyone else but what she doesn’t understand is that her brother is holding the strings and plays her like a puppet so he can do his own bidding in the disguise of getting rid of her husband. Sometimes villains don’t need to have a heart wrenching backstory, someone or something that made them evil some people are just evil either by them themselves or their environment. There are 2 more seasons left of HB im sure that the writers sooner or later will give us a good explanation as to why Stella hates Stolas so much and wants him out the way.

Millie a Wrathian who thought that she was good for nothing but killing people and being “the muscle”. Millie (as seen in GF) worked by herself taking jobs to survive and make a living until she met I.M.P and became a part of a team, a family that taught her that she is more that just a machine to kill people and is now the best version of her self. Married, happy with her career choices and I can’t wait to see how s3 will handle the unplanned pregnancy plot because there are a lot of things on stake here.

Why do we as fandom always have to demonise women for the smallest things and baby men for the horrible and wrong things they do and have done to others? Why don’t you give the same energy to Paimon, Cash and Crimson? Neglectful and abusive fathers? Striker? Who preaches about how royals are the worst thing to happen to imp kind but the moment he is paid by a royal to betray one of his own he’s quick to take it and run? Blitz? Who until recently never apologised for the bad things he did and ruined so many people’s life’s? Stolas? Neglects his own child in favour of his lover and stuck in his own foolish fantasies in the process losing whatever little faith Octavia had in him, obliviousness to see past his nose and his (not purposefully) prejudices?

[zivazivc]

Sorry if this has already been asked before but why did the band break up? And did they break up on decent terms? Do they still talk to each other sometime?

It has been asked before, I just never answered jshfbdjcbh I'm still piecing everything together and stuff is changing or getting tweaked all the time, so I'm always super hesitant about answering these types of questions, afraid that people will take whatever I say as the final answer. So basically what I'm going to answer now will already contradict what I told some people already. And maybe in the future the story might go a little differently too (although I'm pretty satisfied with the current events)

Uhhh, get ready for a long info dump. I didn't expect I'd write this much...

Floyd basically stayed with the band for 8 years (from 14 till 22) and got pretty messed up in the process. The rest of the guys are all quite older than him so I guess I could say they were more responsible, or at least had a better understanding of their own limits (also they grew up in this kind of environment or grew up aware of it, while Floyd was oblivious and naive about all of it) and while they do get drunk and do drugs often, none of them are really dependent on them. They are also pretty good judges of character and know how to avoid trouble. Floyd on the other hand drove in with no breaks and constantly got himself in trouble that the rest (mostly Les) had to drag him out of. He also developed bipolar during this time (in my story Floyd constantly fluctuates between being saturated and being desaturated because of this) and his manic and depressive episodes started getting out of hand after his teenage years. (None of them are aware it's a mental disorder that's making him act so out of character.)

Floyd was becoming miserable because of this and all of his problems pilling up, and started blaming Les for the way he was. Les never argued this which only fueled Floyd to blame him more. In the end he was getting so frustrated and irritable that Floyd constantly tried starting arguments with him, even putting him down and getting aggressive at times because Les gets very unresponsive and closed off during personal conversations (guy is a giant onion of suppressed trauma that Floyd is hellbent on peeling open).

Eventually there was one fight too many, terrible things were said, some objects flew through the air, and Floyd walked out (or Hed kicked him out, I haven't decided yet) with the promise of going home and never seeing them again.

So, yeah, it was very messy and Floyd was the primary asshole, even though he's not really to blame either...

But Floyd didn't make it home (was too scared to sneak through Bergen Town to get to the tree (i don't think i can judge him for that either)) and he just returned to the reckless lifestyle, this time without anyone being there to keep him safe. So if he was messed up before, this is the time period where he got absolutely fucked up. This is also when he got heavily addicted to sour worms. And when he chronically slept around (half the time just to get offered free worms or have somewhere to sleep, other times because he was having manic episodes and was feeling hypersexual). (This is also potentially the period when he had the two eggs with that techno troll, but I'm still thinking if I want that to be canon to the story or not.) During this time he also grew to become very anxious and his self-confidence went to shit when he was being himself.

Then after about three years of that, he bumped into Les at some party. He wanted to dodge him out of shame but Les grabbed his arm and manhandled him outside to talk. Floyd felt like shit about the way they had split up and tried apologizing for all the stuff he had said and done to Les, but Les wasn't having any of that because he wasn't angry at Floyd, he was just worried about him. Les is also insanely empathetic like Floyd, and he knew that Floyd never really meant any of it, and that he was just looking for an outlet when he was hurting. Also he does think he is to blame for the way Floyd ended up.

Les wanted to know why he didn't go home like he had said (because that was the only reason Les had even let him walk out in the first place). A few exchanged words later and Floyd broke down telling him all the awful things he'd done, and Les promised to help him, feeling insanely guilty. Floyd wondered if he was allowed back in the band but Les made it clear that the band wasn't good for him and that he was never taking him back. Instead Les helped him go though rehab. I don't think trolls have those institutions (or at least not many are aware of them or how they work (I'm sorry but I refuse to believe the Trolls world has internet and cellphones, Mountrageons can keep that for themselves lol)), so it was more or less just Les finding Floyd a job and his own place to stay in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where he had no option but to detox, and constantly checking up on him to make sure he was doing okay. During this time they grew pretty close again. Or maybe the better term would be that Les slowly started putting his walls down again.

Hed needed a while to warm up to Floyd again. He's almost as protective of Les as Les is of him, and he resented Floyd for the way he had treated him.

Flea is pretty phlegmatic when it comes to any sort of arguing or drama. He was casual about seeing Floyd again, they were never super close anyway.

And Liv, she left the band when she and Hed broke up (haven't decided if that happened before or after Floyd left), so Floyd didn't get to see her again after bumping into Les at the party. And I haven't thought yet if they'd ever meet again somewhere later in life. But if they did, I think they'd both be happy to see each other.

Anyway...

Floyd managed to detox and successfully kept the job for about a year, but then he became manic again and messed it all up. After that he returned to his nomadic lifestyle, but he never fell as hard as those three years again. In my story Floyd's life is a constant cycle of getting his life together and fucking it up and booking to the next place. And he and Les are trapped in a never-ending cat and mouse game where they're both trying to fix each other.

So, uh, Les and Floyd are still very close and see each other somewhat often...

(sometimes monthly, sometimes yearly)

Yeah...

I am so fucking obsessed with them I'm gonna hurl. Please take this song before I combust:

[rs8ndead]

❛ addicted ❜ ⸻ dating Trevor Philips

── ﹙ 𝜗𝜚 ‧₊˚ MASTERLIST&INFO.﹚. ☆

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ SUMMARY.﹒⟢ ⸻ Trevor as a boyfriend. 🤗🤗

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ PAIRING.﹒⟢ ⸻ trevor philips x gn/gender neutral! reader.

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ A/N.﹒⟢ ⸻ EEEEEEEK first headcanons post of one of my TOP hyperfixations HOORAY ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ I love characters like Trevor,,,, like characters who are stinky and or crime lords :3 so fun to write because they’re just MAD crazy 🎀🎀 he’s also so easy to write to because I made a original character BASED off of Trevor and to ship with Trevor, I really wanna write like fanfiction of the two together but I’m not sure if anybody will like… like it or anything 💔💔😓 ( I hope I’m writing Trevor right, I’d freak out if I weren’t writing one of my favorite comfort characters correctly )

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ TAGLIST﹒⟢ ⸻ none 💔 pls let me know if you guys wanna be in my taglist for everything that I write or for something specific :33

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ﹙©rs8ndead﹚

→﹐ 𓏵﹒ TAGLIST﹒⟢ ⸻ none 💔 pls let me know if you guys wanna be in my taglist for everything that I write or for something specific :33

🩸  ⸺  the most clingiest man ever. From clinging onto your waist if not constantly when you guys are alone, to following you around everywhere you go and holding onto your hand as if he were some body guard, being nosy and peeping himself into your business ( example: phone call ), intrusive staring towards you, sniffing them without context or warning at all, invading personal space ( he has no sense of it ), constant and constant communication, overwhelming relentless and continuous affection, regular rambling and blabbering about how much he loves you and that he would literally do anything for you ( committing crimes such as robbery, credit card fraud, murder, arson, etc etc THE LIST GOES ONNNNN ), no he will not stop any of his suffocating and overwhelming actions until you probably like communicate out your boundaries with him. He grew up with a horrible childhood, he’s not really socially aware of how creepy he can be when he starts to date somebody. It’s very obvious that he’s got an emotional attachment to you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  despite his history of hooking up with other woman and his chaotic mess of a personality, Trevor truly feels there is a bond with you and him and that there’s actual chemistry, instead of just sex and splitting ways after wards. He loves you so very deeply and isn’t afraid to show you that he loves you, at all.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  Trevor is all putty when it comes to you, like a baby kitten. He’s your lil meow meow for real, ESPECIALLY when you give him any form of affection.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  takes you out on shopping sprees constantly whenever he can if you’ve got a hobby for shopping ( and yes of course, it’s allllll from Michael’s credit card, in which good ol’ Trev somehow managed to steal from him ) and constantly commits credit card fraud just so he can see you happy, if you TRY to persist he will just say something along the lines of: “sugar tits, no no no… let me spoil you.” And no, he will not take a no for an answer, he’ll even go as far as hiding your form of payment ( cash, credit, debit ) in a place where he knows you won’t find it, because he’s not letting you buy anything for yourself, at all. He’s paying for you, one way or another and he loves you and doesn’t want you to pay for yourself when you’ve got him. It’s a fifty / fifty relationship, he buys you stuff and other needs for you, and you just let him do that for you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  if this man had good grammar AND could write ( because we all know, he cannot write for SHIT. ) you’d be getting those long ass love sappy letters, but IF you were a writer and you did that for him he would be all confused and asking you “huh what’s this say” and then be all a putty, crying even more clingy mess all over you and sobbing that he didn’t deserve you.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  before he started to officially date you, he definitely asked Michael ( and probably Wade, Ron, Franklin, and everybody who he knows but mostly Michael before he tells to shut the fuck up when he hears something he doesn’t like ) for relationship advice, and no he did not listen to Michael about ‘taking it slow’ and along with ‘don’t say I love you to quick’, because Trevor definitely most likely said those words ‘I love you’ when he meets you because he is SO IN LOVE with you it surpasses everything practically, he’s to dumb for relationship rules.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  it’s quite obvious that he’s got an emotional attachment to you. You know that erotic Calendar and those also erotic photos of women in their bikinis that are on the walls of his trailer?? Yeah, he took it down and just replaced it with photos of you.( one of the advices that he listened to from Michael )

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  he loves like a puppy, constantly all over you as he’s practically and literally your number one hype man, complimenting you and being all desperate for you and crushing on you even though you and him are both dating. He worships you to the point where its concerning.

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  the type of guy to gift you rocks he thinks you’d find cool that he would find on sandy shores whenever he’s spending time away from you ( he hopes you find the rocks he gifts you cool; otherwise he’d be disappointed in himself )

୨୧ ᵎᵎ ﹐﹒⟡﹒

🩸  ⸺  literally the dream boyfriend. I don’t CAREEEEEEE he’s the dream boyfriend.

[chaotic-starlight24]

Dallas Winston Backstory Headcanons Part 3

Part 1, Part 2, General Headcanons

Here is my last part of his backstory headcanons :)

Warnings: None I think

Making it to Tulsa

Eventually he made it to Tulsa, OK at the age of 13 ¾. He had no plan to stay there very long. He had made it to the south so now he just planned to travel around. That was until he went to swipe something from a corner store. Suddenly the manager was right behind him.

“Hey buddy, ya can’t be doin that here.”

Dally just gave him a look, “I was, uh, going to pay Mr…Curtis?”

Did Darrel Curtis Sr. believe him? Nope. Not at all. But he could tell this kid was not from here. With that new yorker accent he was out of place. He saw that this kid hadn’t just moved here. He was alone and afraid no matter how tough he pretended to be. So he let him go and told his wife to look out for him in case she saw him.

Mrs. Curtis did eventually see him when he wandered into the diner and offered him a free meal. He hadn’t eaten in a couple days so he accepted, but was still very skeptical. She tried to ask him what he was doing in Tulsa, where he was from, yada yada. But he was of course very defensive. 

Eventually one of her kids named Sodapop came in with some of his friends. These guys named Two-Bit and Steve. Dally tried to steer himself away from them. But they welcomed him over and soon enough Dally found himself cracking a grin at their stupid jokes. He was still very untrusting, he expected that he would have to disappear soon anyways. But he found himself meeting more people.

Soon enough he met the rest of their “gang”. It was very different from any gang he had ever been in. Not that he included himself in their group. He found himself becoming very drawn to one of the younger boys. Johnny Cade. He saw himself in him, a young and more sensitive version. Dally found himself worried about him. If he was as sensitive as Johnny was he wouldn’t have survived. Johnny also took a shine to him and Dally found himself being followed around. He learned more about him and found out just how tough he really was.

He met Buck through rodeos and became sorta friends with him. He found out Buck had an extra room and bullied him into giving it to him. A 14 year old bullying a 21 year old is quite the sight.

He also met Tim Shephard, in a fight. They beat each other to a pulp after one pickpocketed the other. Afterwards they were like “Hey! I like your style!” They've been frenemies ever since.

He very quickly learned the greaser way from the gang and grew out his hair. But he never cared to grease it. He thought it made it off-color.

He was very close to the Mrs. Curtis and would help her out no matter what the task was. Her and her husband were what made Dally believe that maybe he could stay there. Though he would occasionally have mood swings and not want to talk to her or look at her because he saw his bio mom in her. He truly wished that his bio mom had stood up for herself and not fallen to addiction. 

He was close to Mr. Curtis as well. Not as close but he still trusted him. Mr. Curtis was also a big fan of movies and everything, especially James Dean. So sometimes they would sit on the porch and ramble a bit about him and his movies.

He sort of scared Pony and also just had some dislike for him. He would be rude to him or just flat out ignore him. Usually the gang would get onto him for it but the main reason was that he would be reminded of his own younger siblings. The ones he left behind and now didn’t even know if they were alive. One of his sisters was the exact same age as Pony as well. So Pony grew up believing Dally really was just this delinquent who hated little kids and showed little care. Which was somewhat true…

He was influenced by Shephard’s gang and other more “hood-like” greasers and though the gang didn’t like it, definitely returned to his illegal pastimes. 

[chorealis]

I’m not the first or the last person to say this but I grew up in the restaurant industry (third generation restauranteur) and everything that happens in The Bear is real life. Every restaurant you eat at? That’s what’s behind the kitchen door. There’s a crazy culture of abuse (both mental and emotional) as well as rampant substance addiction that’s considered “normal”. And I’m very serious when I say TV personalities like Gordon Ramsey truly make things worse by perpetuating the idea that yelling and screaming at both coworkers and subordinates is how a restaurant “should work”. And that attitude has genuine, real world consequences. So many good chefs- and good people- have taken their own lives because it’s so taboo to ask for help, or even just that maybe being yelled at all day every day might not be good for people’s mental well being.

The kitchen is a wonderful place. People from all walks of life come together in order to make people smile, to make memories, to make food that tastes the way food SHOULD taste!! But it’s also the same place where human beings are treated like absolute garbage. It’s where people plate hundreds of wonderful meals a night, but then eat their own dinner hunched over a trash can. It’s where people escape to a cold, dark, damp walk-in freezer to cry, because that’s the only break they get from being on their feet for hours at a time. It’s the place where chefs sometimes walk out after a hard night and choose not to wake up the next day.

The restaurant industry is changing. Owners and managers say that it’s because “nobody wants to work anymore”, but the truth is that people refuse to let themselves be treated as disposable anymore.

I dunno. All this is to say- remember the human beings behind every dish you eat. The chefs who put so much of their lives into food and the emotions attached to it. Whenever possible, eat at restaurants that have designated kickback fees to the kitchen staff. And if you work in a kitchen… you’re loved. You’re valuable. Please never be afraid to reach out if you need it.

Read more on restaurant service fees here if you’re curious what they are and how they work:

[luneengene2]

HYUNIE

• Pairings : Myungjae x fem!Reader

• Warnings : Smut content (Masturbation, videotaping, voyeurism, making out, squirting), insults, Jaehyun is pretty toxic, grammatical errors. Tell me if I missed something.

• Notes : Finally, I can finish this Jaehyun oneshot. Meanie!hyunie🥺

Myung Jaehyun, the only son of a school owner named Koz Academy and a successful businessman in South Korea. Since childhood, his life has been spoiled by luxurious things, he never lacks anything. Whatever he wants, he can get it easily. Going to school with a luxury car that changes almost every day, being part of a basketball club, entering the circle of the sons and daughters of the conglomerate. Of course that made Jaehyun very popular. Especially among the girls in his school.

Because he was spoiled too much by his parents, Jaehyun grew up to be a child who was difficult to control, arrogant, and always did whatever he wanted. Never care about the circumstances around him. His father and mother must have regretted making Jaehyun grow up like that because they spoiled Jaehyun too much. They were too tired, even giving up on educating Jaehyun to be a good child.

Every day, Mr. and Mrs. Myung receive complaints from the teaching staff at Koz Academy that Jaehyun often misbehaves. Mainly fighting and bullying students he feels are beneath him. The teaching staff there certainly didn't dare to punish Jaehyun and his circle. Because Jaehyun is the son of the school owner, and his circle is mostly children of high-ranking officials or businessmen who have strong connections with politics.

And here you are. A lucky girl who was able to enter Koz Academy because of Mr. Myung's kindness. Your father is Mr. Myung's employee. When your father had trouble finding a cheap high school for you, Mr. Myung happily offered to send you to Koz Academy for free until you graduated. It's not without reason that Mr. Myung is very kind to your father. Your father has done a lot of services for Mr. Myung's company. Your father, who initially had financial difficulties, is now able to support you very well, giving you a much more decent life than before.

But, your days at Koz Academy are not easy. Jaehyun and his circle make you one of their bullying targets. Moreover, Jaehyun found out that you were the daughter of one of his father's trusted employees. Make him feel like you are lower class in his school.

Every day, you could only surrender as Jaehyun and his circle bullied you. Bothering you and sometimes taking away your lunch, just to make you suffer. You never told your father about Jaehyun's rude behavior towards you. You're afraid, that will cause a big feud between Mr. Myung and your father. Your father loves you more than anything, after your mother died, he guarded you like a diamond. He didn't want to lose his precious treasure again.

But, there is a secret that only you know. You have more feelings for Jaehyun. You love him. It sounds stupid and crazy, but you can't deny it. If Jaehyun finds out that you have feelings for him, he will insult and mock you because you are far below him.

You also have a dirty secret that of course no one knows about. Every Thursday, you take extra German classes, which last until the evening. You were brave enough to sneak into Jaehyun's classroom after your class hours are over, to take one item he was using. Whether it's hats, clothes, jackets, or even books. You stole his things for a fantasy that you've always been addicted to. A wild fantasy.

The fantasy that you want him to touch you so badly, to fuck you as if he wants you so badly to be his doll. His pleasure doll.

You used his stolen things to act out your fantasies. Holding his things while touching yourself. You did it at twelve at night, in your room when your father was already asleep. Doing it while imagining Jaehyun doing it to you. You want Jaehyun, but you can't. Sometimes after doing that, you cry because your love and stupidity for Jaehyun will definitely not be able to get Jaehyun's love. You can only imagine it, but you can't have him completely.

If you go to a psychiatrist or psychologist, you will definitely be declared insane because you have crazy wild fantasies.

You would return his item the next day, you came to school at five in the morning so that it wouldn't be known that you had stolen Jaehyun's item in one day.

///

Your German class is over. You pack up your things and rush out of the classroom. When the students went home, you made an excuse to your teacher to go to the toilet first, then go home. In fact, you wanted to steal Jaehyun's stuff from his locker again. To accompany your crazy night.

You slowly slid Jaehyun's classroom door open, closing it and quickly walking towards his locker. Biting your lip, you slowly opened his locker. You didn't understand why Jaehyun never locked his locker, he was never afraid of his things being stolen. Oh, since he was rich, he didn't seem to mind if his stuff went missing. Besides, his friends were upper class, there was no way they would steal. They never lacked anything.

When Jaehyun's locker opened, this time he left his Prada jacket behind. You smiled faintly, grabbing the expensive jacket and holding it tightly.

You inhaled his scent while closing your eyes. Jaehyun's signature scent that is identical to expensive perfume. You hugged the jacket tightly, imagining that you were the one hugging Jaehyun's athletic body.

You couldn't wait any longer. For some reason Jaehyun's scent was so strong compared to the previous items. Making your body feel like it was being stimulated so much.

You sat on the floor, leaning against the lockers and lifting up your skirt. One of your hands quickly slipped into the pink lace panties you were wearing. You don't care that you're doing this wild act on school grounds, you can't wait to get home.

Your two fingers were buried in your wet pussy hole and you wanted Jaehyun to do this dirty thing to you so badly. Your fingers are moving in and out of your pussy at a moderate pace. You can feel your pussy getting wet and you may have already made a puddle beneath you.

One of your hands must be holding Jaehyun's expensive jacket tightly. Inhaling his scent repeatedly with your eyes closed. Your mouth can't help but be noisy. Moans calling Jaehyun's name as if he was doing this dirty thing with you.

"Hyunie~~ah please~faster, Hyunie. I like it when you mess me up like this," your fingers moved fast, you felt more pleasure because of this. Jaehyun's scent was like a stimulant, making your body go crazy.

Your nose sniffed Jaehyun's jacket hard, and your hands held onto it tightly, as if your life depended on it. Your fingers also move faster, you chase your orgasm that will soon come.

While you are lost in your pleasurable desires, you don't realize that someone is watching you behind the sliding door of the classroom. The person's phone was also raised, recording your hot activity of satisfying yourself. The expression on the man's face was indescribable, but he was watching you sharply and intently.

Myung Jaehyun. Yes, that person is him. He came back to school on a night like this to get the jacket you were sniffing and holding tightly. However, he was surprised by a surprising activity. The girl he often bullied was masturbating while holding his jacket tightly. At night too.

Jaehyun is a normal guy. Seeing something like that must make him horny right away. His cock was hard, especially when he heard you moan his name sexily. Jaehyun couldn't deny, you were so hot and pretty when you were like that. Jaehyun didn't deny it. The thing that you were very pretty. Even though he didn't admit it, he didn't deny it. Since he first met you, he didn't deny that you were pretty.

"Hyunie~~~ahhh!" You moaned his name quite loudly, at the same time you released your fluids until they were completely pooled beneath you.

Enough! Jaehyun couldn't take it anymore! He barged in making a loud noise, making you jump in surprise.

Seeing Jaehyun suddenly in front of you certainly made your body weak, especially with the phone raised. You immediately knew he was recording you. You stood up with some difficulty due to the effects of your heavy orgasm.

"Jaehyun-"

"Woah, I really saw a spectacular disgusting show. What would your father say if he saw his daughter doing the most embarrassing thing like this?" He cut you off, a mocking grin clearly visible on his face with his phone camera pointed at you at quite close range.

"Jaehyun, i'm sorry. Please-"

"Even using my expensive jacket for this disgusting act? Oh my, why do the lower classes in this school have no ethics," He cut you off again. You lowered your head in shame, gripping his expensive jacket tightly. Embarrassment and fear mixed within you. Your disgusting act was caught red-handed, even by the man you like. The man you use for your wild fantasies.

"By God, I should burn my jacket right now. Being touched and used by a girl like you, is really disgusting," he continued. He turned off his phone, put it carelessly on the teacher's desk then returned his focus to you who could only lower head. "How dare you use my expensive things for your disgusting purposes. If my father finds out that there is a perverted and horrible girl like you about me, he will definitely kick your father out easily," You panicked when he said about your father, your father could lose something that he had built to make your life better. You will embarrass him if your actions get out. Moreover, you 'used' Jaehyun for your dirty deeds.

"If I spread this video, you can be sued by my father for indirectly defaming my name, Y/N. And your father will have to bear the shame because of your-"

"No, Jaehyun! Don't do that, I beg you, don't do that, Jaehyun! I can do anything you ask, but please! Don't do that. Don't involve my father in my bad behavior, please," You begged Jaehyun with teary eyes, you were definitely scared. Jaehyun's threats are always true, he will do anything to destroy anyone who 'disturbs' him.

Jaehyun stared at you deeply as you begged him with teary eyes. He knew you were scared, you were really scared to a high level. You were never like this when he bullied you, now you are begging for your father's good name.

Jaehyun immediately snapped out of his stupid daydream, and instead gave you a mocking chuckle. "After that disgusting behavior directed at me, and you expect me to give you 'leniency'? I'm afraid I'm not that kind, Y/N," he said while leaning on his locker. Not caring that you were really scared, you wanted to cry.

"I don't know what's on your mind that you have such a crazy motive to make me one of your sexual imaginations," You lifted your head, looking at him with your eyes that were now shedding tears of fear.

"I love you. I did that because I love you, I want you but I can't," when you said that, Jaehyun's body felt like it was struck by lightning. He didn't expect to get an answer like that from you. The look in your eyes doesn't convey any lies or playfulness towards him.

Jaehyun was stunned again. Shock of course. The girl he had been bullying turned out to have more feelings for him. That girl wanted him, loved him.

You know it's stupid to confess your feelings to someone who will obviously never like you back. His type is a girl who is his equal, and definitely prettier. But for some reason, that sentence spontaneously came out of your lips when he wanted to know the reason why you did that action.

Jaehyun didn't break his eye contact with you. Staring into your beautiful eyes that were glassy from crying. At this close distance, he couldn't deny the strange feelings he had been harboring all this time.

You don't know, there is a strange feeling inside him that he always denies because of his pride. He desperately denies these feelings when he is bullying or insulting you. But at a time like this, for some reason he had a hard time denying those feelings.

The feeling that he also has more feelings for you. That is stupid and can be a source of ridicule in his circle. Jaehyun sees you as a beautiful girl who is too kind and sincere. You never take advantage of the people around you to get what you want. You are often 'exploited' by people around you to achieve their goals. Jaehyun often saw you distributing food on certain days to beggars, you looked very sincere when you did that. You did it yourself, without cameras or witnesses. That means you sincerely did it without wanting to be praised.

But this time, he couldn't deny anything when he heard you say you loved him and wanted him too. And the look in your eyes also made him weak like this.

"Jaehyun please, I can do anything, but please don't spread the video and don't involve my father. I beg you," your voice was soft, already surrendering yourself to Jaehyun. You were scared, very scared. Your father could lose his good name.

Jaehyun returned to his daydream, his face turned flat. He stared at you with a sharp gaze. "Masturbate in front of me if you don't want your dirty behavior to be exposed!" He ordered you sharply, he wasn't kidding. The orders he gave you were completely serious and completely insane.

"J-Jaehyun-"

"Do you want to do it or not? Do it in front of me and everything will be safe," Jaehyun cut you off, his tone extremely hostile. If you were aware of things, you could feel his body shaking violently.

There was no other choice to protect your father's good name. You stepped back and sat down at one of the tables right behind you. Meanwhile, Jaehyun leaned against his locker. His gaze never left yours.

Your two legs are up on the table, spreading your thighs and lifting your skirt. You take off your panties and put them underneath. With shaking hands, you slid your middle finger into your still very wet hole. Start fucking your hole with your own fingers.

You bit your lower lip, you did this dirty thing not alone this time. Jaehyun watched you, even told you to do it. This is your fatal mistake because you couldn't control your lust, you should have been able to hold it in before you got home. But you did that right in the classroom where Jaehyun was studying, using his jacket as a tool.

Because you are used to doing that, you just drown again in the waves of pleasure. You threw your head back, suddenly ignoring Jaehyun who was in front of you. You moaned lewdly with a heavy breath, closing your eyes. Your mouth opened wide, adding your fingers to your pussy. You occasionally tease your clit to add stimulation to your body.

You occasionally kept doing the same thing as before. Sniffing his jacket that was still in your hand, inhaling the intoxicating scent.

Seeing such a sight, Jaehyun's heart raced strongly. His breath was no less ragged than yours. A lust also formed inside him. "Open your eyes and look at me!" Jaehyun ordered again, he wanted to see your beautiful eyes staring at him as you did that. And miraculously, his words succeeded in making you do what he wanted.

Your eyes opened, looking into his eyes that were staring at you intensely and sharply. That look, not the contemptuous look he always gave you. A look you had never gotten from him before.

Unknowingly, clear liquid came out of your eyes. You cried again because you realized that after this you would never get Jaehyun. You did this in front of him to protect your father's pride from being damaged by your bad behavior.

"H-Hyunie," you cried his name again, the nickname you made for him, with your breath starting to hitch. You also increased the speed of your fingers, you felt your orgasm was near. "H-Hyunie g-g-gona~HMMMMM!" Your mouth immediately shut up when you felt something soft land right on your lips. Jaehyun came in front of you, he kissed you suddenly.

His tongue slipped in, tangling with yours skillfully. You were really shocked when Jaehyun suddenly kissed you. Your body immediately responded well to his kiss, resulting in your tongue and his tongue entangling with each other. Your tears flow, your heart aches. He kisses you without the same feeling.

Jaehyun knew you were crying, but he didn't care. He didn't care that his mouth tasted salty from your tears that had also entered his mouth.

Soon, Jaehyun felt your breath starting to hitch and your hand movements starting to get out of control. He knew you wanted to cum soon.

Jaehyun broke the kiss, his saliva with yours didn't break. He stared at you deeply, your tears mixed with your saliva. You were already a mess on your face. You groaned softly. "H-Hyunie-"

"Yeah, I know, Babydoll. I know, do it for me. Look at me when you cum. Just let it go," Jaehyun smiled as he brushed your hair gently and down to your cheek. Your breath hitched when he called you babydoll. It shocked you that he could be this gentle.

"Hyunie!" You convulsed violently as you cum, making the black trousers he was wearing instantly wet from you squirting. Your body wanted to collapse backwards, but Jaehyun immediately caught your body, hugging you as tightly as he could.

You could also feel his body shaking as he hugged you tightly. You took a few breaths, your tears flowing even harder.

Jaehyun planted a few kisses on the side of your head, more precisely your temple. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here, it’s okay, babydoll,” he whispered soothing words to you. He really changed in an instant. Immediately treats you like a precious gem.

He broke the kiss, looking back into your eyes. He wiped away your tears and smiled sincerely. "No need to cry, I won't leave you. I won't do anything to hurt you anymore," he said softly and stroked your cheek again.

"What-"

"You want me right? I'm yours now," He cut you off, shocking you when he said it so easily. He squeezed your waist gently, giving you another kiss on the cheek.

"Are you playing me?" You asked with a shocked face. Not wanting to jump straight into Jaehyun's story, because you know how he is. He is good at playing with women's feelings. There's no way he could change like this.

"I love you too, I swear on my parents' behalf, I love you too," You were even more shocked when he suddenly said the same thing you said earlier. You looked at him, there was no hint of deceit in his eyes, only sincerity. He seemed serious about what he said.

"You know, I was so stupid because I repeatedly denied my own feelings for you. I didn't deny that you were very pretty. But, I denied the most important thing," he continued, he kissed the corner of your lips briefly. Turning to hold your hand, he kissed the back of it too. You stared at him in disbelief... He had the same feelings for you.

Seeing you remain silent, he instead took off some of the accessories that were on his body. He took off the ring, bracelet and necklace that he was wearing. And after that, he put those expensive accessories on you. You know, that accessory is his favorite accessory. Since he wears it every day, he rarely takes it off.

"That's my favorite accessory, but I put it on you. I'm serious about you," he said again, trying to make you believe that he was serious and had no intention of playing with you.

"Jaehyun," your eyes filled with tears again, squeezing his hand. You believed, truly believed that he wasn't playing with you now.

He shook his head, cupping your cheeks. "Hyunie, not Jaehyun. I like it when you call me Hyunie, it's sweet," At that very second, he immediately pulled you back into his embrace. It makes you cry hysterically. You can't believe that someone you've always wanted, you can actually get.

If you are dreaming, you don't want to wake up from your sleep. This dream is too beautiful if you wake up. One of the dreams you want.

"I'm sorry, babydoll. I'm sorry," he whispered in your ear, apologizing for all the times he's treated you badly. You hugged him tightly, not believing what you were facing today.

After he was satisfied with giving you 'calming', he started to help you clean up the mess you two made. He helps you put on your panties and safety pants.

He opened his locker and took out a small bottle of his perfume that he often left behind, spraying it on your hands and uniform. He also tidied up your hand bag containing some books and your lunch box, combed your hair and finally put on his Prada jacket for you. It was already night, he didn't want you to get cold.

After everything was 'clean' he carried your backpack and your handbag then put his arm around your body to quickly get out of the school building. He walked slowly, because your legs were still shaking a bit from what you did earlier. Jaehyun initially wanted to do 'something more' to you, but when he saw you already collapsed in your second orgasm, he couldn't bear it.

"Jaehyun, what's our-"

"Hyunie, babydoll. You're my lover now, don't call me Jaehyun too often," He cut you off, smiled warmly at you and kissed your cheek again as he continued walking.

You stopped in your tracks. Making Jaehyun of course stop too because suddenly, he looked at you confused. "What's wrong, doll?" He asked in surprise because you suddenly stopped in your tracks.

Suddenly you cupped his cheeks softly, bringing him back into a soft kiss. He chuckled when his girl stopped just for the kiss. Jaehyun understands this, you have wanted it for a long time, when you succeed in getting what you want, you will definitely be very obsessed and love what you wanted.

"JAEHYUN, Y/N!" You jumped in surprise when a sudden shout was heard for you and Jaehyun. You looked back and found one of the teaching staff at Koz Academy, Mr. Jeon standing with his eyes glaring and looking angry. And that's where you and Jaehyun will get into big trouble.

[mikuni14]

Dead Friend Forever - Ep 11

Another episode, another 10/10 🏆

It never ceases to amaze me how much this series is based in real life. As a person living in a country where the alcohol problem is significant (as almost everywhere 🤷‍♀️), remembering the 80s and 90s, I know situations in which children have to pick up their drunk parents from the streets, endure shame and public humiliation, take care of them as if THEY were the adults. I also know situations in which conflicts over land, the taking of property by someone in power, drove people crazy (I worked with a woman whose MIL went crazy because of it). I also know people who, as children, had to take care of the house because their parents couldn't do it due to their illnesses, addictions and traumas. These are real stories. I KNOW these stories.

Although for a long time I was rather convinced that Non was dead, now, despite the literal facts, I am starting to doubt it 🤡 It's too obvious in this show full of non-obviousness, but on the other hand, the victim's passing in such an ordinary, anticlimactic way is somehow… fitting with the overall painful reality of this show, the banality and ordinariness of evil. Victims often just... go, in silence, without fanfare, without a bang. Although that's why, despite everything, hope somehow grew in me, as if in spite of the facts...

The series amazingly showed love at first sight, the pinkness that accompanied White's entrance, the music, the atmosphere… but it's not the first time, Phee was just as instantly infatuated with Non, as Jin was with Phee.

The series also, consciously or unconsciously, shows that there was a solution when it came to money: there was legal work that did not involve suffering, violence, sex or crime. Tee paid off Non's debts by working at an internet cafe!!! And it's amazing when I think about the fact that Non slept in Keng "out of gratitude" for the money and Tee, looking for money for his father, agreed to work in a criminal organization. And what's more baffling, it's even shown that Tee receives very LITTLE money from his uncle, so it's not even a matter of "selling out to the mafia" for a good money that would allow for professional treatment of his father in the hospital! (I actually thought the whole time that his father was in the hospital and he was paying for his expensive treatment!!!). Even this terrible uncle says:

As I mentioned in another post, I can't bring myself to feel sympathy for Tee because Tee targeted Non, chose him as an easy victim, introduced him to the criminal world, lied about the camera when he really didn't have to (he could have come up with some other lie, for example that they entered the classroom and the camera was already broken, or no one touched it at all and whatever - heh, I came up with this lie in a second so that no one would get hurt - and why did Por bring it to school in the first place?) and then actively work with Top against Non and Keng, although he really, really didn't have to. Tee never de-escalated the situation, he was always the driving force behind events. Even though he didn't have to.

I appreciate that Non is shown to be physically exhausted, which is the result of being beaten. It would be strange if after something like that he just felt good and worked hard. His mental state certainly affects his health as well. How terrible it is that Non thinks that no one is waiting for him at home. that there is no one to return to. It's a child's heartbreaking belief that their parents don't care about them enough to notice that they are gone, to look for them. This is Non's double tragedy: what is happening to him and the fact that he doesn't have something, someone, to give him strength. Even on his note, he states that he is not a loser as his motivation...

The best scenes of course went to Tan, oh how I loved everything. The way he directs Phee towards Tee, the way he incites him. That Tan is not afraid of death. That he has a plan because he didn't trust Phee. It's very possible that for Tan it may no longer be about Non, but about pure revenge and karma and punishment and atonement.

There is an anime that I like, One Outs 😉 There is one scene in this anime in which the main character calls out people, especially politicians, that when they screw up something, they bow, apologize and that's the end of it. That they never pay for their sins, never face real consequences, that they never experience what the victims of their actions experienced. And this scene stays with me all the time while watching DFF. Because we can see, that the boys feel guilty, some more, some less, episode 11 showed that Tee had the greatest sense of guilt of all of them, because he was in the very center of events and knows the most. But what good does it do to Non? Who cares about their guilt and whispered apologies under the influence of drugs, in fear? Did their guilt help his parents or did it help Non and Tan?

None of them ever suffered any consequences or tried to right the wrongs. ON THE CONTRARY. Everyone pretends that nothing happened and is downright furious that this case keeps coming back and ruins their peaceful lives, and it dares to make them uncomfortable. Each of them lives a good life, including Tee, who is in love and happy. The movie is still finished. THE MOVIE IS STILL FINISHED AND THEY ARE PROFITING FROM IT.

Revenge for wrong is one of the oldest tropes in the stories created by people. The Erinyes are some of the oldest figures in the mythology of my part of the world for a reason. It is a disagreement that bad people can get away with their bad deeds. Tan fits this narrative perfectly. He carries revenge, quite possibly only for himself. So somehow I'm glad that "if Non would have wanted it" didn't shake his conviction in any way 💖

I'm still holding off on judging Phee and his behavior towards Tan until the finale. Despite everything, something still doesn't feel right to me 🤔

When things get dangerous at the beginning of the series and they immediately suspect Non's ghost, each of them repeats the same narrative from the past: fear, guilt, the need to escape, to move away from the the problem. In all cultures there is something like prayer, appeasement of vengeful spirits, confrontation with what has been done to these spirits. Notice that all of them, even when they think it might be the "Ghost Non" that is chasing them and taking revenge, not one of them even for a second proposes: let's apologize to ghost Non, let's pray for him, let's promise him and ourselves, that if we come out alive, we will do something about it, we will MAKE AMENDS, do penance, even if it will be inconvenient for us - because that is what penance is about, it is supposed to be "inconvenient", just like the victim was "inconvenient" ffs!!! BUT NO. There is only worrying about themselves, destroying disks, destroying the memory of Non, running away from the problem, blaming others.

Tan is right.​

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Happy new year! Can I request the family with teen! Reader who smokes a lot and drinks alcohol (because they grew up in that type of place) and it's a very bad addiction but reader always does it in secret and whenever tries to approach the subject, they run off

-It had been with you since you were born, being around booze and cigarettes, to you- they were a normal part of life, a normal part of your household.

-Seeing your parents drink bottle after bottle and smoke pack after pack- to you it was something normal, it wasn’t until you were rescued, after your parents began to neglect you, caring more about if they were getting booze and smokes rather than making sure you had clean clothes, a safe place to live, and food.

-You were taken from them shortly after you turned fourteen and put into a new home with a massive family, but you were confused, not seeing them smoke or drink, at least all the time, as there were some who would have an occasional drink.

-It was strange to you- it was scary, and you didn’t know how to handle it! You felt scared to question them about it, remembering your own parents when you would ask why they drank and smoked, getting backhanded for asking ‘stupid questions’.

-You had seen the physique of many of the members of your new family, you couldn’t handle getting backhanded by them- your face wouldn’t survive.

-Not being able to handle the stress, you started hiding cigarettes and bottles, and you started doing it, smoking and drinking, it made you sick to start off with, but the feelings they gave you, unaware that you were drunk and disoriented, you felt better.

-You could see why your parents did this- it felt so good! You felt so free! But you made sure to do it in private, hiding away in the backyard where nobody could see you, pouring the booze into glasses.

-You did feel scared of getting caught, because you remember how your parents got into trouble, and you didn’t want to get into trouble and be taken away from this family.

-Unlike your parents, your new family was so nice, you always had tasty food, clean clothes, you were never cold, and they all showered love on you, but it bothered you that they weren’t like your parents- it was too different for you!

-So, when Adam and Hades came to you, not confronting or threatening you, but curious, wondering where you had gotten the booze and cigarettes you had hidden away.

-You immediately panicked and ran instead of speaking with them, shocking them before they were quick to give chase.

-Tears were in your eyes as soon your whole family was chasing you, they were shouting that they just wanted to talk to you and to not be afraid of them, but you couldn’t help it- you were just so scared.

-It was Jack who caught you, cutting you off and he immediately embraced you. You instantly broke their hearts as your hands came to your head, covering yourself, thinking you were going to be hit, “I’m sorry- I didn’t- don’t-don’t hit-”

-Adam quickly had you embraced in his arms, hugging you close as you sobbed, clutching at him as they were filled in about what was in your room. Nobody was mad, but many were concerned about where you got these items, curious as to how long this had been going on.

-After you were calmed down, which did take quite a while, you were questioned, and you told them how you had grown up around those around you drinking and smoking all the time- you thought it was something that everyone did, and when you came here and nobody was doing it, you panicked, thinking you had to do it or they would all be mad.

-Hades assured you that you didn’t have to drink or smoke, and that you shouldn’t have been doing it anyways because you were underaged, and they told you that not everyone smokes and drinks.

-Your wide, confused eyes shocked them, you truly didn’t know this- showing them how much your parent’s messed you up, thinking that you had to smoke and drink because that was what was normal for you.

-It was a little hard for you to detox, more from the cigarettes rather than the booze, as you felt antsy, but your family was there to help you, providing you with snacks and helping where they could.

-It was both a healing and a learning process for you, learning what was not normal and was normal, and you did learn that your new family was anything but normal, but they were trying to help you learn what was normal for you, helping you heal.

-You learned what a normal family felt like, no fear, no pain, just nothing but love and support, and you adored the idea, never wanting to leave- you wanted to feel this happy all the time.

[halfetirosie]

Character Ask meme- Edmond

@xenole I hope you know that you opened the floodgates, and this was going to be even longer but I forced myself to stop before I went fully off-the-rails...

♡♡♡Edmond♡♡♡

First impression

Believe it or not, my first impression of Edmond actually wasn’t good! I was like, “Damn, he’s pretty, but he’s such an asshole!” He seemed stuck-up at best and unnecessarily mean to Eiden at worst. I felt a wee bit better about him when he told Yakumo that the knights that bothered his village were being punished, but I still didn’t like him very much.

Impression now

*Deep inhale*

EVERYDAY I REPENT FOR MY PAST ACTIONS!!!!

I LOVE EDMOND AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM!!!!!

Yo. The GAP MOE. He acts all cold and professional at work, but then we find out that he’s sensitive??? And addicted to sugar??? (Literally a sweetheart!) And he’s basically an otaku that reads erotic book series in his spare time??? (SO DAMN RELATABLE????)

And it is so easy to misunderstand him if you’re only looking at the surface level. Like, yes, his general speech patterns are very rough and blunt, but that’s only because of his upbringing in nobility. He holds himself to a higher standard, but is incredibly humble.

No, really; let’s take a moment to really look at that noble upbringing of his. Aster makes it very clear that many (if not most) of the nobles of Klein are stupid, greedy, and/or corrupt in some capacity—they don’t really care about the common people. Edmond grew up surrounded by that, along with their insane amount of ettiquette, customs, and roundabout ways of speaking. It would’ve been TOO EASY for him to turn out to be a self-absorbed snob, too.

But he isn’t!!! Against all odds, Edmond grew up to be an upright man with a strong sense of justice and concern for civilians. He takes noblesse oblige seriously. He works hard everyday in everything he does; and he does A LOT. Like, A LOT a lot. His full-time job as Vice Captain, plus Clan duties, plus household duties (so that his mother doesn’t have to do any of it, even though she says she can). 

It’s no wonder, then, that he’s so goddamn repressed!!!

Sure, he’s a tsundere. But that’s only out of habit (and shyness), rather an actual reflection of his desires. He’s used to stifling that part of himself. He’s used to treating lust as shameful, because he’s afraid of lacking discipline; he doesn’t want to be like all the other trashy nobles in high society.

But through all of his intimacy rooms, Edmond is accepting himself more and more—his sexuality, his essence/magic, and his feelings. While he’s still the strict and hardworking Vice Captain, he’s finding more balance in his life.

Favorite moment

So hard to pic only one!!!

During the White Dat event, Edmond makes his awful dad-joke and looks so proud of himself, it makes me feel so endeared I can barely handle it!!!

The Tranquil Cloud intimacy rooms also hold a special place in my heart. In them, there’s a moment where Edmond deliberately slows his steps so Eiden can walk next to him. Later on in the day, Eiden accidentally finds out that Edmond was following a very specific tip from a certain book:

CUTEEEEEEE!!!! It reminds me of when you're a young kid looking up online "how to know if my crush likes me" or "how to get your crush to like you back" XD!!!

Of course, when Edmond sees Eiden reading that page (which he’d bookmarked and even underlined), he gets very embarrassed. But Eiden is very impressed, moved, and (as per usual) turned on. XD

Idea for a story

It won’t be coming out anytime soon, because there are different stories I have to work on first, but I have started on an Edmond fic! In it, while Edmond is off investigating a drug ring, he ends up raiding a greenhouse filled with plants and animals that were used to make the drugs. After the animals are inspected, those without abnormalities are released back into the wild; however, one of them returns and keeps following Edmond around! Thus, Edmond gets reverse-adopted and gains his own animal friend!

Unpopular opinion

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I NEED more of the Edmond intimacy rooms to lean in to BDSM territory!!!

Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely ADORE the romance-heavy rooms. And there have been some rooms that feature light over-stimulation, but other than that? That one fingering scene that had Lord/Knight role-play and then (blessedly) the Elite Instructor Edmond R2 with light bondage and spanking.

But it’s not enough!!!

Come on, devs! You can’t just have Eiden point out that Ed “likes a little pain” in the first sex scene they have, and then do barely ANYTHING with it! I want to see Edmond completely lose his head! I want him to completely let go! I want him to forget his own name, dammit!!!

Favorite relationship

I love it when Yakumo is inflicted with Edmond!!! XD Edmond ruining everything he touches by drowning it in sugar, while Yakumo desperately attempts to stay calm…>:)

More seriously, Edmond’s relationship with Eiden is TOP TIER. With every event he’s featured in, all of the intimacy rooms show him falling deeper and deeper in love. It's the sweetest thing ever!!!!

Favorite headcanon

Mama’s Boy Edmond! I like to imagine that Ed’s mom (who, from what we’ve seen, is super cool) will give him completely unsolicited relationship advice, in typical mom-fashion! Like, the two of them will be causally eating lunch, and out of nowhere she’ll say something like “You know, Edmond dear, the more often someone sees you, the more fond they'll be of you. If the Grand Sorcerer sees your face every day, it’ll be easier to seduce him!” And Ed would practically shriek “Mother! How could you say something so scandalous?!?!” But then later that same day he’ll be sure to swing by Aster's mansion, an be sure to walk by Eiden's room…

[missbluesunflowersstuff]

Some Tim Drake headcanon

I did some headcanon based in canon stuff and also random things, this is more around the batkids and Tim. Please respect

Tim likes to think of himself as a street smarth, but he's not. He is academically smarth, but not a street smart kid (he grew up in a mansion with several servants, even though he is hella neglected, he wouldn't know how to survive on the streets of Gotham in the same way that Jason, Duke, Dick)

(ok I noticed some confusion with my worlds here, then Tim Drake is a child from Gotham, his way of surviving there is a little different from his brother but he still would figure it out. That's what I was saying, thanks for the comprehension)

whenever Tim needs someone to talk to he looks for Dick, he knows that Dick will listening to him and his older brother will also give him useful advice/ help him solve the problem

He's afraid of having redhead fever from his older brothers (Dick being friend with Babs, Wally, Kor'i and Roy and Jason being friend with Artemis, Roy and Kor'i), not in a romantic way or anything, he just doesn't know how to explain how Dick and Jason attract so many redheaded friends

He fears info dumping someone when he talks; Duke once commented that he liked the smell of rain when it rained on very hot days, and Tim began to explain that this was due to a fungus. Duke just listened silently and then shy smiled. And only later did Tim think he had ruined the peaceful moment, as he noticed how Duke and Cass lay quietly enjoying the rain...

His relationship with Steph isn't that complicated, they dated in the past, but nowadays they both try their best to remain good friends

He tries to plan several cute dates with Bernard, but he always ends up overthinking so he chooses the simplest route, cinema and burgers (Kon and Bart helped him choose this as perfect date)

When Tim is having problems with Bruce, he always turns to Dick, knowing that his older brother will help him with whatever he needs

Tim regrets the beginning between him and Damian, not just the assassination attempts, but Tim didn't try to trust Damian and always accused Damian's people of being bad and had an offense towards Damian's origins (both were wrong, Damian in his trauma stuff and I dislike how "his people are evil" that DC wrote at that time)

He is secretly afraid of someone discovering the bomb in Nanda Parbat, yes there were murderers there, but it was a city that also had civilians there and as a hero he shouldn't put the lives of innocent people at risk (why does DC keep writing him like that???)

There are actually several theories in Gotham about why he doesn't age, some say he's a vampire and others say he bathes in the blood of innocents, no one knows who start these theories (Dick blames Jason, Jason blames Damian, Damian blames Steph, Steph blames Bernard and Kon and Bart blames each others)

his worst nightmare is being the only survivor of his entire family (again)

Loneliness can hurt him in ways no villain could, being alone can drive him crazy. Therefore, unlike his brothers (who can work alone), Tim tries his best to work in teams

Because Bruce and Tim were born into a rich house, they are out of touch with normal stuff sometimes

he really enjoys listening to Bernard's theories and sometimes encourages him with something stupid

Tim likes to think that If his mother were alive she would like Bernard

Tim is the only one in the family who shows concern about Damian's addiction to adopting animals, afraid that it will turn into something similar to Bruce

Tim learned a lot about motorcycles because he thought it would be a good topic to talk about with Jason

Tim has and listens to his emo playlist

Even when he hates loneliness, he can disappear for a while, either because he wants someone to look for him or because of something Bruce said. When this happend, he usually comes back when he is tired of being alone or someone go look for him (man this is pretty sad...let me write something...)

There was a time when he disappeared for a while, he hid in a safehouse outside the country and when he started to wonder if anyone would miss him the door was shut down, Damian, Jon and a girl in a white mask that he didn't recognize entered

"tt if I knew you weren't in danger I would have feared more" "what?" "come on, get on the Goliath, we have to go home" "did something happen?" "Batcow. Cows have a circle of friends and they can get depressed if a friend disappears

Ok Tim knew about cows due to Kon living on a farm, but he was extremely confused about being kidnapped rescued by Damian, Jon and Nobody just because the kids were worried about the Batcow mental health

Coming back was strange, since Bruce didn't even notice he was gone, but soon he felt Alfred the cat rubbing against him, Titus licking his hand and the cow mooing at him, Tim was a little happier to come back (I'm not good to write fluffly you guys are struck with this)

Nowadays Tim is very smug because he was the first of the brothers to fly in Goliath

Some batkid headcanon: Damian || Duke || Cassandra || Stephanie || Tim || Jason || Dick