#so I don’t think I’ve actually seen this episode yet but I have this screen shot lol

[forgetful-nerd]

“I will defeat you with mighty power of my ninjitsu skills….and this gun I found!”

“Observe what I have in my hands :)” [pulls out a gun]

[chameleon66]

Hazbin Hotel Baxter theories

Introduction

As many Hazbin hotel fans have been patiently waiting for season two to be released, Vivizepop gave us a sneak peak at an unfinished scene at the San Diego comic con that’s going to be in season two.

And in that scene we are introduced to a new character, Baxter. Baxter actually used to be part of the main cast for Hazbin hotel (Back in the Zoophobia days) before his role in the show was given to Sir Pentious. So in this post I’m going to discuss some possible theories for what Baxter’s role in the series might be, how his prescenes will affect the rest of the cast and the storyline, and what we know about him so far.

Chapter #1 Who’s Baxter?

In the clip we are shown that Baxter is a scientist who came to the hotel not looking for redemption but to study the idea of redemption, he claims that he doesn’t believe redemption is actually a thing that can happen so that’s why he came to the hotel.

Baxter first appeared in the Hazbin Hotel Pilot, however only his silhouette was shown. Then in the season one, episode two Radio Killed the Video Star we see him on one of Vox’s screens. Keep this clip in mind because we’re gonna come back to it later. Then we see him Cameo again in the Season one finale, the show must go on. Where he is watching the news about how the extermination was canceled. So his character is yet to be formally introduced to us but that doesn’t mean we don’t know anything about him.

According to the Hazbin Hotel Wiki, we have some information that has been revealed through posts, livestreams and others I’m pretty sure fans just made up, so take some of these with a grain of salt. Also keep some of them in mind because we’re gonna be coming back to them a little later.

Baxter appears to be an Angler fish sinner since he has a very dark and muted color palette with the occasional pop of bright colors like teal, yellow, or red which are commonly seen on ocean predators who live in deep parts of the ocean. Also according to Faustisse Baxter also has an underbite referencing another trait that’s common among Angler fish. Baxter also has fish like finns on the sides of his head and an esca (That thing Angler fish have on their head that light’s up to attract their prey). Like what was seen in Finding Nemo. One theory I’ve heard a few times is that Baxter might be trans since in real life, only female Angler fish have an esca. I would like to see this because 1. It seems like it would be good representation for the transgender community and 2. It would really add some depth to his character.

I’m not sure how high the chances are that Baxter is actually Trandsgender or if we’ll even get it confirmed within the show or by one of the cast or crew members but regardless I think it is a good concept for his character that may happen. I mean we already got one canonically confirmed within the Hellaverse. When in Hazbin Hotel’s sister show, Helluva boss, we were introduced to Sallie Mae, Millie’s older sister.

Fans first guessed she was transgender when they noticed her horns. In Imps in Helluva Boss, males have black and white horns with equal sized bands of each color while the females have black horns with smaller white bands but Sallie’s horns are of that of male variety so that was what first made fans believed she was a transgender women, Then in June of this year to celebrate pride month they released this piece of merchandise with the whole cast and decked out in pride flags which confirmed many of the characters sexualities. One of which being Sallie Mae who in that art was confirmed to be not only a lesbian but also Transgender. So the point here is since they already got one character who is confirmed to be transgender, another one probably isn’t out of the question. Ok back to Baxter.

Baxter was previously said to have died on the titanic however this was later changed because Vivzie didn’t want any real life events tied to characters death (especially tragic one to avoid coming off as insensitive), so it’s now said that Baxter died in a large boat that sank in the 1910s and officially the main cause of death was drowning which probably contributed to his aquatic demon sinner form.

It said on the wiki Baxter likes Science, Laboratories, and mad science experiments. But he dislikes being touched, this could imply he’s touch averse, touch starved, or maybe he just isn't comfortable with physical contact. It’s yet to be confirmed if he will have a laboratory in the hotel but I think he might just turn his room into one when he stays at the hotel. Personality wise Baxter’s personality is said to still be in development but Vivize likens him to the character Myron Reducto from the show Hervey Birdman in his mannerisms. He is screechy, neurotic, fidgety, anti-social “gremlin” and an all-round mess. He is introverted and wanted nothing to do with anyone preferring to do science alone in peace. I have a feeling that as soon as we are introduced to Baxter in the show he’s gonna automatically become a fan favorite, he just has all of the traits. Now we’ve gotten to know Baxter a little bit better it’s time to discuss him and what he’s gonna bring to the series.

Chapter #2 Charlie and Baxter

Charlie is ecstatic to have another guest staying at the hotel but she is definitely still trying to heal from losing Sir Pentious in the battle. Because it’s pretty clear she’s kind of labeling Baxter as a replacement for Sir Pentious due to them having shared characteristics, such as being Inventors/Scientists, having very old school styles of dressing, having quite similar mannerisms/ hand gestures while talking to people, and they honestly kind of sound similar too. (But that may be just a me thing)

Charlie has also made this clear because even after Baxter tells Charlie his name she continues to call him Pentious, albeit by accident but the point still stands. This could become a plot point where Charlie continues to treat Baxter like he’s Sir Pentious and this makes Baxter upset until he most likely snaps at her and she’s forced to finally deal with her grief over losing Sir Pentious. Which Charlie may be trying to hide because she wants to be a strong leader for everyone else during this difficult and confusing time but while she’s allowing everyone to dump their feelings and problems onto her while she’s continuously being forced to hold her tongue and play therapist for everyone. Husk really was right there. “Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everyone else’s problems except her own.” - Husk, Season one, episode four, Masquerade.

I mean, don’t get me wrong here. No one in the hotel is completely okay. They’re all got problems, trauma, and insecurities. But trying to help others improve themselves and get through hard times is no excuse for Charlie to be neglecting her own needs. And I think that with Baxter joining the crew at the hotel, it’s really going to bring Charlie’s problems to light.

Chapter #3 Sir Pentious and Baxter’s connection

We also learn in the clip he has a connection to Sir Pentious somehow, as when Charlie mentions him in the sneak peek clip, He says that he’s nothing like him and calls him “A pompous snake”. This means the two sinners knew each other, that feels likely since both of them are Inventors/Scientists who died around similar times.

I have seen this one idea floating around the internet that Baxter was actually the one who helped Pentious create his Egg Boiz which would make since Baxter called himself a mad scientist and in a lot of cases mad scientists try and create life through their experiments and we’ve seen that Baxter actually has a bag will crab eyes and legs which is pretty likely he created. And it feels unlikely Pentious would have created the Egg Boiz on his own because he had always been portrayed working with machinery and steampunk kind of equipment; we've never seen him create anything living, so that means he at the very least probably had some help creating his henchmen. It’s also confirmed in the Finale that at least one of the Egg Boiz still remains in Hell after the battle in which Sir Pentious and what seems to be many of the Egg Boiz died in too. So maybe that remaining Egg Boi will recognize Baxter and spill some information about him to the rest of the cast. Since it has been shown they have a habit of spilling information they weren’t supposed to, as we saw in the season one, episode three, Scrambled Eggs.

An idea I had was that Sir Pentious and Baxter were rivals that maybe used to be lab partners but then had a falling out for whatever reason. It was confirmed we would see more of Sir Pentious’s past so that could mean we could see what the connection is between him and Baxter. Another idea here is that after Baxter hits his limit of Charlie constantly making him the replacement for Sir Pentious he reveals what happened between him and Sir Pentious in some kind of dramatic flashback or maybe even a musical number (Now that would be fun to watch).

Chapter #4 Baxter’s love interest?

Another character in Hazbin hotel I think will become close with Baxter is Nifty. I’ve seen a few posts online where Baxter and Nifty are being shipped together. Personally I think the Ship is very cute, but since we haven’t seen much of Baxter yet there isn’t much ground for a relationship to be built on. But There is some evidence out there to suggest that Nifty and Baxter might have a romantic relationship with each other within the show.

Back in the pilot days of Hazbin Hotel Vivziepop used to draw Nifty and Baxter together during livestreams and in one she even drew them sharing a milkshake together with Nifty not so subtly staring at Baxter. Keep in mind before Baxter was going to have Sir Pentious’s role in the series and Nifty during the episode Pentious was introduced in was infatuated by him but by the end of the episode she’s over him because she learns he’s not “A bad boy”. Throughout the show Nifty has been shown to have a thing for bad boys. Baxter is much more rebellious than Sir Pentious ever was and with Nifty’s track record it wouldn’t surprise me if she was attracted to him.

Baxter on the other hand would probably be a little less cheerful towards Nifty, since he’s not very social and prefers to be on his own. Nifty however couldn’t be more different in that sense. She’s shown to enjoy being in the company of people regardless of who she’s with in most circumstances. I can see a sort of HuskerDust dynamic here, with Nifty constantly bugging Baxter to try and get his attention while Baxter is just annoyed with her continuous antics.

However that being said, I think Baxter and Nifty could actually make a great match. Because while they are very different from each other they also have things in common. Like both enjoying doing experiments though Baxter’s are probably less chaotic and more scientific, they both are labeled as “Gremlins”, and appearance wise they are both two of the shortest members of the cast. I honestly can see a sort of scenario where Nifty as a show of her affection towards Baxter giving him some kind of dead insects or animal that she killed maybe and instead of getting grossed or weirded out like everyone else does with her, he’d be curious and ask her if she’d be okay if he did some kind of experiment on it and then she’d just get all excited and gleefully follow him to his lab to watch him work. Maybe I need to write this later as a short Fanfic, would you guys be interested in seeing that? Let me know.

Anyway, Nifty and Baxter have the potential to have a very cool dynamic whether as a couple or as just friends and it also gives us some potential to see Nifty developed more since so far in the show she’s been only portrayed as the maniac maid in the hotel and as comic relief which works great but I think some depth to her character could make her that much better. Some dynamics/Tropes I could see them having included. Opposites attract, We’re not so different after all, Pure looking (But super shady) x Scary looking (But is actually a softie), Chaotic baddie x Sweet baddie, Energetic x Serious, and Mad scientist duo.

Chapter #5 Alastor and Baxter

Of course we’re talking about Alastor here. It wouldn’t be A Hazbin Hotel analysis/theory if we didn’t talk about Alastor. Alastor is a fan favorite within the fandom and it’s not hard to see why, he’s entertaining, funny, and has a lot of mystery about him. Something for everyone within the fandom to enjoy. I has been said we’re going to see more of Alastor’s past in season two which I think is going to give us more insight into his intentions, because right now it’s clear he’s playing a bigger game than he’s letting on but he also has his own little deal that he’s not letting anyone else no about and if you mention it bad things happen. Just ask Husk. (Play the scene here)

Alastor in the finale loses his fight to Adam and afterwards has a mental breakdown where he’s singing in riddles and not giving us exact answers because of course not they don’t wanna make things too easy for us to figure out. Alastor is clearly shaken up and is now definitely looking to speed things up in his plan and break his contract with whoever’s leash he’s on. But he also is still going to have to keep up appearances by helping Charlie with the hotel and keeping his listeners convinced he’s the almighty radio demon. And Baxter might just be involved in his plan, either as an ally or as an hindrance depending on which way everything goes in. Let’s break it down.

Alastor likes to have control with what’s going around him including with the people, that’s one of the main reasons he makes deals with people, to ensure he’s the one with the power. With the arrival of a new face in the hotel Alastor is probably eager to see what he can get out of Baxter. Since that’s something Alastor does with people too, he doesn’t just keep someone around for nothing, most times it’s either to get something from them or just to keep up appearance as a “Nice guy”

One of my speculations comes from a moment in the finale. When Alastor’s staff breaks in his fight with Adam, then we see him have his solo in the finale song and his staff is still shown to be broken. Then he comes in at the end of the song he doesn’t have it with him. Now we aren’t exactly how Alastor’s staff works in the pilot its shown to be alive which I’m not sure is still a thing but I think it’s a pretty safe bet that Alastor probably can’t fix it on his own since if he could’ve he probably would have before he returned to the main group to wrap up the song. So maybe after Alastor realizes that Baxter is quite intelligent, he goes to him to see if Baxter could possibly repair his staff for him, which Baxter might do as part of a deal they make for whatever hopefully plot relevant reason, because Alastor threatened him to do so, or maybe just out of mutual respect.

Because I think Baxter and Alastor might become relatively close with each other. I’m not saying they’ll be friends but they might come to some kind of partnership or alliance for both of their benefits. It could start with Nifty telling Alastor about Baxter (Since it’s been shown the two are actually kind of close with each other, though with Alastor it could be all fake) which could bring Alastor to the idea to make use of having Baxter around the hotel but then Alastor come to realize he actually doesn’t mind Baxter as much as everyone else in the hotel. Think about it, everyone in the hotel wants to become closer with each other and Alastor is usually having none of it. Since he likes to keep his cards close to his chest as they say. Especially with more bubbly and cheerful characters like Charlie, Nifty, and Frank around the hotel always trying to get closer to Alastor and figure him out. Even with less cheery characters like Angel, Husk, and Vaggie they all are kind of trying to figure Alastor out and get a read on him. I can imagine Alastor getting sick of all this but of course not directly saying it to any of them under most circumstances to keep up appearances with characters who he has trust with.

Alastor might find Baxter to be a refreshing change since he’s said to be very introverted and prefers to work alone. Baxter reads to me as the kind of guy who won’t bother you as long as you don’t bother him, Alastor could find this nice and see that Baxter has the potential to be a good ally. But at the same time, Alastor could also view Baxter as a threat to his plan and try to bring Baxter down in whatever way he can. Which brings me to my next speculation.

Chapter #6 Why did Baxter come to the Hotel?

Everyone in the hotel came to the hotel for a reason whether they claim something different or otherwise. Vaggie is there to support her girlfriend, Lucifer is there to support his daughter, Angel Dust claims to be staying there so he had somewhere to live where he didn’t have to pay rent but to me he’s there to try and redeem himself so he can try and break his contract with Valintino, Husk and Nifty came because of Alastor, and Alastor claimed to come there for the entertainment and to help Charlie succeed, though no one there is completely buying that story. Baxter claimed that he came to the hotel to study redemption but I’m not going to take that claim at face value because there is some evidence to push that Baxter isn’t there just to experiment with the idea of redemption but to also hide from something or rather someone.

We’ve been told that the Vees are going to be major antagonists in season two, we aren’t sure what they’re plan is but it’s clear they’ve now got their heads in the game. Now here’s the big speculation that I’m honestly surprised hasn’t been talked about more. What if Baxter used to work for the vees, specifically Vox. Now at first this might feel like a stretch but if you take a step back then it actually makes sense within the show. Remember that clip from season one episode two I wanted you to remember for later, well now it's time to discuss it.

In the clip of Vox spying on everyone we see Baxter on one of Vox’s screen and he appears to be in a place very similar to The Vee’s meeting place which we see in the same episode, now there’s no way to confirm it’s the Vee’s meeting place but you can't deny the similar wall coloring and the how similar the chairs look. Baxter also seems to fit the bill for a person who’d work for Vox because he has the dark and muted base colors with the brighter blue and red accents on him. Much like Vox and his other employees that we’ve seen. Baxter is also a sinner based on an aquatic life which also fits with Vox’s theme since we’ve seen Vox’s employees such as one that appears to be his assistant and he has a tail which looks similar to that of an axolotl or maybe a sting rays, either way it definitely looks like some kind of aquatic animal’s tail to me. This also fits with Vox because in his lair he has a giant tank where he has several of what look to be sharks but maybe some Hell mutation of them. To me it wouldn’t be to far fetched if maybe Baxter used to work as part of the science department at Vox tech, we haven’t heard of him doing much tech related work but that could be because we haven’t been introduced to him yet officially in the show and he very well may be versatile in his work with science.

Ok let’s entertain the idea that Bxter used to work for Vox and by extension the other Vees. What would that mean for the sake of the plot and storyline? It could be like the other case where the Vees sent sir Pentious to the hotel to act as a man on the inside to gather information on Alastor. But this doesn’t feel very likely to me. 1. Because the Vees probably wouldn’t be dumb enough to try doing the same thing twice, 2. The writer’s of the show probably wouldn’t be as uncreative to reuse the same idea twice for very similar characters. So why else would Baxter be at the hotel in this hypothetical scenario where he used to work for the Vees? Maybe it will help if we first try and figure out why Baxter no longer works for the Vees.

Because we can already rule out that Vox fired him, because let’s be real here. If the Vox wanted to fire Baxter he would use real fire, that and/or Baxter wouldn’t make it out alive. Since They themselves have said to shoot the lowest earners among their employees. So it’s likely the Vees didn’t willingly let Baxter go. It’s also pretty much known that The Vee’s own their Employees souls like all overlords, It’s pretty likely that if Baxter did work for Vox at some point then Vox would have owned his soul too. And if Vox has the same style as Valintino then he would have his employees sign a contract that confirms they own their soul or something along those lines. Maybe Vox just didn’t read his own terms and conditions and Baxter found a loophole somewhere in his contract that broke his deal with Vox setting him free. This doesn’t feel out of character for Vox because unlike Alastor he isn’t always looking at the bigger picture, rather he just tunnel visions onto one single thing and then the rest of the details just fly under his radar.

Baxter's motivation for breaking his contract with Vox isn’t too hard to figure out either, it’s pretty clear the Vee’s aren’t the best people and treat their employees horribly so it’d probably push Baxter to his breaking point and make him want to be free from them. What happened could be that after Sir Pentious and Baxter had their falling out, Baxter began to fall on hard times and when Vox found him and wanted to hire he probably immediately took the chance not knowing the risks of doing so. It’s a pretty common tactic among Overlords in Hell like people in real life to target people when they are most desperate or in vulnerable positions because they’re more likely to agree to whatever you want them to.

Now obviously the Vee’s (More specifically Vox) probably wouldn’t like that Baxter tricked them out of his contract so they’d probably want to get him back or eliminate him entirely to eliminate the risk of him telling the press about how horribly they treat the people who work for them or just how bad they are in general, which the only reason their current employees probably don’t do that is because they’re bound by contract. But Baxter isn’t, not anymore at least. So let’s say Baxter is now on the run, he’d definitely need somewhere else to stay and that’s why Baxter really came to the Hotel, think about it. There are a lot of powerful people in the hotel like Charlie, Alastor and even Lucifer himself so by putting himself next to some of the most powerful people in Hell now makes him have a protective wall around him because now that he’s a resident at the hotel everyone else is now obligated to protect him from the Vees. And as we learned from Angel dust he doesn’t even have to pay them to live there.

But now this creates another problem for Baxter, now that he’s living in the same place Sir Pentious used to live and we know how things went for Sir Pentious. Imagine what would happen if someone. Anyone in the hotel found out he had ties to the Vees, even if he uses the past tense it’ll look all too suspicious especially after what happened with Sir Pentious, the people at the hotel know that the Vees are known to do this kind of thing. But Baxter now doesn't work for them anymore in this scenario. Which he can use to try and convince the others they're wrong but it’s not guaranteed to work. Especially taking into account one specific character. I’ll give you a hint, his name starts with an A and ends with a Lastor. In case you don’t get it, that’s Alastor.

Chapter #7 The betrayal?

Now there’s a lot of Potential in this scenario if Alastor finds out Baxter used to work for Vees and by extension Vox. Since they’re rivals and while Alastor wasn’t very phased when Vox tried to pull this trick the first time, imagine it the second time after all of the events that happened. Alastor realizing he’s not the most powerful piece on the board and he can be bested, Alastor taking a liking to Baxter and asking him to repair his staff for him. Even if it wasn't at the front of his head, Alastor was likely building a connection to Baxter and maybe even a little trust. But now that he finds out about Baxter’s past with working for Vox, his enemy. Alastor is automatically going to assume that this a part in some grand scheme from Vox to takeover and possibly even end him. And after that confidence hit he took from Adam he’s going to be feeling extra defensive about himself and his safety.

Baxter would either be kicked out of the hotel or at the very least put on some kind of parol or house arrest in the hotel and since no one would really be sure if they can trust him. Meanwhile Nifty can be forced away from Baxter by Alastor because he wants to protect her, again we are not sure if Alastor genuinely cares for Nifty or she is just another pawn in his game. But either way Alastor could want as little to do with Baxter as a way to protect himself and his own plan, whatever that may be. And what do you know? You’ve got yourself a good old star crossed lovers story between Nifty and Baxter. This literally writes itself.

Chapter 8 The conclusion

To wrap this all up, I want to say that Baxter has the potential to be a key character in Hazbin hotel and whether or not any of my predictions, theories, or analyses come true. I’m sure Baxter is going to be a great addition to the cast of Hazbin Hotel.

Chapter #9 Bonus stuff

Wow, you’re still reading. I’m impressed. I was convinced no one would read this whole thing because of how long it is. So Thank you for reading my weird jumble of thoughts related to one of my biggest current hyperfixations. And now as a reward for making it this far, I give to you some random headcanons about Baxter that I just came up with or found on tumblr or other online platforms with but couldn’t find a way to fit into my predictions/theories. Enjoy.

Baxter headcanons

- Introverted as hell; mostly because he finds people confusing and hard to deal with, or people will find him off putting or weird and make fun of him for really just being himself. So for him it’s just easier to be on his own and maybe kind of lonely then have to put up with people he finds annoying.

- He has built up an immunity to several different types of poison and drugs while testing various concoctions of his and now enjoys the taste of some.

- If you’re nice and respectful towards him there is a much higher chance of him saying yes to doing something for you (Maybe why he agreed to help Alastor fix his staff).

- His hearing is a little impaired due to all of the explosions he’s been in from his experiments.

- Was most likely sent to Hell because he had no value for life and is willing to cross a lot of moral gray areas in his experiments.

- By extension of that, due to his analytical views and unsympathetic mindset, when asked what his favorite color is he’ll say “Morally gray” just because he finds other people’s reactions humorous.

- Would probably try to use the other residents of the hotel as test subject for his experiments before probably being stopped by Vaggie, the only person in the hotel who’d let him do experiments on would probably be Nifty (Because she’s got the hots for him and she’s a tiny bit psychotic).

- Whenever he gets an idea or realizes something his esca lights up (Like the old visualization or a light bulb lighting up above someone’s head when they get an idea).

- He also uses his esca as a headlight for when he’s reading or working.

- Does not understand the appeal of Angel Dust’s movies because of how there’s literally no characters, plot, or storyline established throughout any of them and he’s a Demisexual (I do not see this sexuality used enough in characters).

- Baxter doesn’t like drinking alcohol because he hates the feeling of his head not being on straight.

- He has developed something of a sixth sense for when someone’s about to touch something in his lab and will just say “Don’t touch that” with the most monotone voice to whoever is in his lab.

- Baxters crab carry on bag we saw in the teaser clip is named Clemmy.

- Sometimes lisps his Hs when talking because of the sounds anglerfish make. (I actually listened to a recording of anglerfish sounds before and they legitimately sound like underwater zombies)

-After going through various posts on Tumblr I have given the ship name, NeedleFish to Baxter x Nifty. (Credit to dolliezilla)

- Nifty calls him fishy as a term of endearment.

- Baxter has the worst vision without his glasses that he made for himself (Real angler fish are blind). Without his glasses he’ll bump into every and anything or anyone, cannot read anything, and he’ll trip over any obvious obstacle in his way.

- He’s a manners boy, he always calls everyone mister/miss, asks permission to leave the dinner table, and says “Please” and “Thank you” all the time.

-Baxter learned morse code when he was alive and since he’s pretty sure no one else in the hotel knows morse code, sometimes during group conversations he’ll tap his finger on some kind of surface and make comments about whoever he’s with. (But then later on Alastor figures out he does this and teaches himself morse code so he can translate what he’s saying, and honestly he just finds Baxter’s analyses of everyone to be hilarious).

Author’s note: So it's been a longtime since I’ve posted something this long and for that I am the sorriest. I’ve been going through a tough time lately and I didn;t have any motivation for a long while to write anything more than incorrect quotes. I promise I will upload a new Fanfic soon, but please let me know what you think of my theories/predictions/analysis and feel free to correct me anywhere if I made a mistake or to add your own thoughts into this one sided conversation. Thank you guys for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night/anything else.

[spurious]

what was the moment where you said yes to McShep?

OKAY SO.

Obviously you, audioletter my beloved wife know all this but. I’m not sure I’ve talked about how I got into SGA/mcshep on my tumblr so.

After finishing the x-files in 2022, my wife’s Zaddy Husband Mitch Pileggi beckoned us to watch Stargate Atlantis (because we couldn’t stomach Walker Texas Ranger). We’ve both been in fandom for a Long Time and thus remembered the years that McShep reigned supreme, and starting the show we said to each other “haha wouldn’t it be funny if we became ride-or-die mcshep shippers?”

……..yeah.

From the very start of the show, basically every single time John and Rodney were on screen together we’d go “haha mcshep lol”

So now I’m like. trying to excavate my memories to figure out when it Became Real for me.

I do tend to love buddy slash pairings and ships where one person is shrill while the other is chill so it’s not, like, surprising to me in hindsight that I did end up shipping mcshep? And then the SGA fandom being so friendly and active just…allowed my fixation the space to flourish.

But anyway, let’s see what the first McShep thing I saved to my camera roll was!

*drumroll*

It’s this art by the amazing @luluxa:

So at this point I think I was still at the “no no, I’m saving this fanart to my phone ironically” stage.

Now, this was October 30th. By November 3rd, I have photos of a trip to mandarake where I was really hoping to find SGA doujinshi cause I SWEAR I’d seen it before (I’ve not managed to find it yet. Japanese fans why. You guys love generic white guys mcshep should be massive here)

The first fic I have bookmarked is from November 2nd with the note “oh no I have feelings about McShep now” and it is Counting Down by @alienfuckeronmain, which is a post-trinity fic.

HOWEVER. I also have a Grace Under Pressure coda bookmarked from a day or so later, and this tracks with my impressions: this is the episode that most intensely sticks out in my mind as being emotionally memorable and something I needed to be reading fic about. Soooooo I guess it was Rodney that got me, and the need to process my emotions about episodes by reading other people’s processing, and, uh, now here I am almost two years later!

SO. To get to the actual question, several paragraphs and approximately a day later, I don’t know that there really was a single moment that put me there, as opposed to a series of moments enacted onto an already-primed pump? Because truly I should know by now that the danger of doing something ironically is that you end up doing it ronically, but. I remember devouring the fic I could find that was non-spoilery as we were watching (lots of episode tags) and it definitely shaped my perspective on John and Rodney’s interactions.

But essentially, this is a ship archetype I tend to like, and Rodney McKay is absolutely the type of horrible little gremlin man I tend to like, and the fic was good, and. Here we are lmao

[bellezaycafe]

Get Your Shit Together - Extra; a section of a DTS Episode.

Masterlist | Part 1

genre: 2024 Season AU

pairing: there will be romance but I haven't finalised who yet. platonic! oc x literally the whole grid.

warnings: lots swearing, major car accident, mentions of broken bones, blood and hospitals. A lot of shit happens.

context: Sadie, a 20 year old university student from Melbourne, decided to take a gap year and volunteer at 2 Formula One races in different countries.

Sadie's Faceclaim: Maia Mitchell (but you can visualise her however you want :) )

comments: READ CHAPTER FOUR BEFORE READING THIS. This is an extra and is not actually thaaaat vital to the story. I just know if this happened irl, DTS would 100% make an entire episode on it. This is gonna be so strange to write because DTS is a visual format but imma try for the cool perspective. You’re gonna need a good imagination.

*Drive to Survive theme and intro*

WILL BUXTON: Silverstone, the home of formula one.

LANDO NORRIS: It’s one of my favourite tracks, I love the support we get there.

BUXTON: Our hearts were in our mouths, in 2024. The title fight was ramping up!

CHARLES LECLERC: It was close.

CARLOS SAINZ: We were fighting, but it was horrific race.

BUXTON: It ended in shambles.

OSCAR PIASTRI: I mean, I was out in lap, 5 I think, it might’ve been 6.

BUXTON: No one expected five DNF’s.

LEWIS HAMILTON: I don’t know how it happened.

BUXTON: Let alone Lando’s accident.

NORRIS: I don’t remember much.

BUXTON: or the Mystery Medic.

*dramatic pause*

BUXTON: It was incredible, in a morbid way.

NORRIS: I was panicking

*onboard footage of moments after the crash, with radio subtitles*

NORRIS *onboard radio*: MY ANKLE, **** MY FOOT!

BUXTON: First, they catch Lando as he falls from the halo. He is in pain, and at one point you can hear him scream.

*onboard footage of the Mystery Medic catching Lando as he falls from the halo*

NORRIS: I knew it was my ankle or my foot. I’d never been in so much pain.

BUXTON: The medic starts to, essentially drag, Lando towards a safe section of the barrier. We could see that it was bad. We could see how much was relying on them and leaning on them, considering that he was taller than the medic.

PIASTRI: We could see that he wasn’t even letting it touch the ground.

NORRIS: “Keep it off the ground,” they told me. They didn’t have to, I was in too much pain anyway.

BUXTON: Then Sergio Perez approaches the accident.

TOTO WOLFF: There was debris everywhere, McLaren and Mercedes.

SERGIO PEREZ: I still do not know how I did not see it.

NORRIS: I didn’t know until I was on a stretcher.

BUXTON: You can see, if you watch the replay you can see, the moment the Mystery Medic hears Checo’s car.

*footage of the Mystery Medic turning their head towards the track*

BUXTON: Put the moment into slow motion, and you can see them make the choice.

*footage of the Mystery Medic putting both hands on Lando’s waist and switching to his right side*

BUXTON: To put yourself between a driver and a Formula One car? That’s either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid.

HAMILTON: Brave.

WOLFF: Stupid.

BUXTON: Either way, I don’t think Drive to Survive can show what happened.

*footage of Perez’s Red Bull striking black and papaya debris*

BUXTON: The medic barely stumbled.

NORRIS: If I hadn’t have seen it afterwards, I wouldn’t have known. I don’t remember it happening.

BUXTON: It was horrifying! They were walking, and almost carrying Lando, with a piece of debris in their thigh.

NORRIS: I’ve watched the replay. It was headed straight for me.

BUXTON: Watching it live was… it was awful! But you couldn’t look away.

*footage of everyone in the McLaren garage watching screens with various expressions of terror*

BUXTON: You had to know if they were going to make it.

NORRIS: They saved my life. Racing is my life, and if that debris had hit my leg? We don’t know what damage it could have done.

BUXTON: But there’s a reason we call them the Mystery Medic, and it may be a feat just as incredible. They did the impossible.

*seperate shots of Sir Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen placed side by side*

BUXTON: Lewis and Max worked together. They put their rivalry aside and worked together to keep the Mystery Medic a secret and we have no idea why.

MAX VERSTAPPEN and HAMILTON *in unison*: I’m not going to comment on that.

BUXTON: We don’t know their name. We don’t know who they are, where they’re from, or how they’re doing now.

*another dramatic pause*

BUXTON: It’s like they never existed.

[superstarz9]

Please make more hcs of my boy(the tv man), I need them I beg

Y’all ready to fw some MORE Mr. Puzzles headcanons?

Cause I got some.

Mr Puzzles collects vintage items and trinkets. However, he keeps them as organized as possible. Clutter stresses him out.

He probably loved those I Spy books and it’s half of the reason why he loves trinkets

Father issues to the max. A part of what he does is fuelled by the determination to prove his dad wrong and that he does have “creative vision.”

That’s what he tells himself, at least. In reality, he wants approval from his dad. Approval that never came.

How messed up would it be if his dad passed when Puzzles made his first short film? So excited to show it to his family and finally get the approval he so deserved, only for his father to shoot him down immediately, causing a fight between them. A few months after this, his father passed. I feel like smth like this would kick off Puzzles’ technical replacements.

Puzzles studied business and engineering, partially due to his mother’s request. He did take some film courses and tried to get a film degree as well, but his teachers found his work to be lacklustre and mediocre. This caused one hell of a freakout in class which caused Puzzles to get kicked out of the course. His father had to convince the dean not to remove him from the school. This would end up being more fuel for their fight later on.

Okay I think I’m just writing bullshit lore cause idk what else to write lol.

Thanks to his technical enhancements, he can connect to anything (yeah duh we’ve seen him do this already). However, this process is incredibly painful and tiring, causing him major fatigue after. That headache he gets when transferring tvs is another major side effect. He gets similar headaches when he’s been inside his own head for too long, and ibuprofen is one of the few things he misses during these moments.

Also can he really just straight up teleport? Does he channel-surf in his head and chose one to pop out of? Does that always destroy the original tv?

And he has regeneration powers, since his screen just… Regrows…

Well whatever demonic power is connected to the keyboard SMG4 uses in IGTBP, he’s probably directly tied to it. Now, I feel like this is also tied to whatever was going on with Axol but since I haven’t properly watched that arc yet I have no idea what that is or if it’s actually connected to anything. However, I don’t think he’s the direct cause of this demonic stuff, just connected to it enough to utilize it.

With that being said, a lot of his abilities was from painful experimentation and random chance. It also hurts him immensely to connect and disconnect to things. As a part of the didney worl engine and controlling the entire theme park, he probably feels like his entire body is being stretched out like those medieval torture devices. Judging by how he looks in the wotfi teaser, his organs are practically falling out.

If they do keep him alive, I would love to see an episode where SMG4 takes Puzzles on as a meme apprentice to study real creativity and makes him a co-director for a video. As they film memes n stuff, Puzzles gives unwanted opinions like “oh, you’re framing everything wrong! And WHAT is this FILTH for writing? Here, I’ve taken the liberty to fix the script for you, since we’re friends and all!” As he strains the word ‘friends.’ The entire episode is the gang tired of his shit and arguing with him, causing him to get sad and walk away. However, someone reviews the changes and re-evaluates how to film it (this could be meggy, smg4, or mario even), and they go back to finalize the script with him. At the end, when they publish the episode, Bob starts a bet to see how much it’s gonna suck but it actually does decent. Smg4 gives Puzzles credit which causes him to start bawling.

This is wishful thinking ofc bro’s gonna die lol

Another idea if they keep him alive is to try and help Tari with the Clutch situation. I don’t think that’s been dealt with correctly, and it would be interesting to have dialogue with each other.

I’d also love a convo between him and Smg4 about their similarities. Actually, I have a theory that a part of wotfi will be a reflection of IGTBP with Smg4 seeing himself through Puzzles and wanting to help him.

Another theory is that something with happen to leggy, whether she wants Puzzles to stop hurting everyone or she gets hurt, and Puzzles will stop, causing him to shut down, whether that means being defeated or having to deactivate himself.

And to end this off on a positive note, Puzzles and Leggy definitely play dress-up, trying on a bunch of different hats before settling on the tophat. Goofy walks in half-way, stunned at the door while Puzzles and Leggy are mid-tea party break, ending with Puzzles threatening him to leave. Leggy gets a good laugh out of it.

These aren’t as neat or coherent as I would’ve liked but I’m too tired to edit the right now lol. I can’t think of any more right now but I’ll hopefully think of some after wotfi (literally praying they keep Mr.Puzzles alive rn like there’s so much potential).

Also if you guys have any prompts or requests please let me know! Depending on midterms and school work, I might come up with a few halloween ones. Til then, thanks for reading and have a great day!

[ordinaryschmuck]

Alright, last time ever that I’ll talk about Velma. I promise.

Because I’ve been extra salty towards this show all week, and I don’t want to take it further than that. Talking nothing but bad stuff about this show for the entirety of its run is exactly what the writers want. They want us to hate watch it so we can talk about each new atrocity the show brings up week after week, and call us haters or anti-woke propagandists. When, in reality, they don’t give a FUCK about any of that. They don’t care about other races, genders, or sexualities. They just WANT you to think they do. Know how I can tell? Because I’ve SEEN genuine attempts of representation.

THIS is a genuine attempt of representation. Matt Braly, the series creator of Amphibia and a Thai-American, felt like Thai culture was underrepresented in media. So, he not only made his main character and her Thai, but he also dedicated subplots and entire episodes showcasing the culture he wanted to represent.

THIS is a genuine attempt at representation. Dana Terrace, series creator of The Owl House and open Bisexual, wanted a main character that was explicitly bi to finally help kids feel like they’re seen. To help give the representation SHE always wanted.

But when I look at Velma? None of it hits the same.

This isn’t a genuine attempt for representation. This is Mindy Kuling turning a character into a self-insert to make herself look smarter than everyone else and the most important person in a narrative. Truth is, this Velma is nothing more than a sociopath, narcissistic dipshit who thinks she’s better than everyone else but is actually more aggravating than endearing.

So...Good job representing YOURSELF there, Mindy.

And this?

This isn’t representation. This is a shield.

A way to protect the show from any criticism because it couldn’t possibly be bad. They have gay characters! Gay characters are good in everything!

Except that is the LAST reason you should include gay characters! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE more LGBTQA+ representation in media. What I don’t love is obvious attempts to pander to audiences just to avoid criticisms. And keep in mind, this is NOT the first attempt a creator wanted to make Velma gay.

James Gunn wanted to make her gay in the live action movie, but WB said no.

Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated (the GOAT of the Scooby-Doo franchise) wanted to make Velma gay, but could only imply it because Cartoon Network didn’t greenlit Steven Universe yet.

THOSE are genuine attempts to make Velma gay, to represent people because the creators of both products agreed that it was the least they could do.

But making Velma and Daphne a thing just to protect a show is nothing more than shallow and inconsiderate of the hard fight dozens of people put up with for the sake of representation.

And, honestly, I’d be a little more forgiving if the writing in Velma was good. But it’s not.

Within the first minute, this show features...

Cockroaches having sex...

And fifteen year olds taking a shower to make a joke about how over-sexualized a series’ pilot can be.

First of all: FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FIND THIS SCREEN SHOT FOR A POINT!

Second: You lose every ounce of credibility that you actually care about people when one of the first moves you make in your series is to sexualize minors for the sake of a joke.

A joke that doesn’t make sense at that. Point me to a series pilot that’s over-sexualized. If you get more than ten, I’ll say you have a point. I won’t say that sexualizing minors to make it was a good thing, but I’ll at least say that, “Yeah. You’re right. So many pilots do this. SO STOP DOING IT!”

That’s the level of writing Velma has. And it’s why they have their “representation” to protect themselves. Meanwhile, you want to know the level of writing you’ll find in The Owl House and Amphibia?

Villains who prove that the most dangerous people are the ones who make the rules.

Jokes that are actually funny.

Likable main protagonists who are kind and caring to the people around them.

Protagonists who have heartfelt relationships with other great characters, to the point that it breaks your heart to see them leave each other.

And on top of that, actually good representation. But here’s the thing: The representation isn’t only genuine. It’s a bonus. Something great to add onto everything else the writers and the creators do right.

What it isn’t is an attempt to protect a show from what it does wrong.

And that’s it. That’s the LAST time I’ll ever talk about Velma. I really mean it this time.

Talking about this show past it’s premier is already more attention it deserves. And if you were smart, you would not only stop watching, but stop talking. The best attention to give something you hate is NO attention.

If you really want to waste time, waste it by watching something good, like The Owl House and Amphibia. They may be kids shows, but they have more maturity than a single second of Velma.

[mann-walter]

My Thoughts After Getting Back from the World Where Every Man is Named Thomas

There is a good somebody who uploads Wolf Hall’s first episode “Three Card Trick” on YouTube, and without compromised sound or image quality at that. So, I’ve just finished watching that, and boy, do I have thoughts on it.

It was such a brilliant episode overall, but specifically laudable in how it wasted nothing, not time, not dialogue, not character. I love how quickly and yet still masterfully it established Cromwell’s relationship with other pivotal characters, his past, and his character. I love that relative to how much the episode managed to convey or at least, imply, the dialogue was really scant. The usage of silence, facial expressions, and gestures was amazing. I’m sending big virtual hugs to all the actors, especially Mark Rylance and his eyebrows—no, I’m serious. They were such great help.

Honestly, Wolsey reminds me a lot of Richard Harris’s Dumbledore, or Dumbledore in general. I do think, taking the story as it is, without looking too much into the actual history, as in the complex motivations that must’ve gone into this relationship, Cromwell and Wolsey’s relationship is meant to be looked at in that way. A protégé and his master.

I love the domestic scenes with Cromwell and his family. Another great example of humanity and familiarity in this series. They drove me to think that despite all the weird hoods the ladies wore and despite angels’ wings still being depicted as multicolored and not white, I know these people. Cromwell and his wife Elizabeth “Liz” are our typical mum and dad who love their kids very much, talk about their kids’ puppy love interests, and argue once in a while on how to best bring up the family. Yet, to me, the most touching and tender moment is their daughters’ death. There’s something in the way the maids frantically try to wake them up and Cromwell softly telling them “Don’t”, asking them to just let the girls rest. Obviously, the whole thing was debunking the myth of pre-modern people not loving their children, but there’s something else, something more. Maybe it’s just that I’ve never seen Medieval/early modern people be that loving on-screen before.

[bucketbender]

So, I’ve seen some criticism of the 5th season of Solar opposites. I would like to propose counter arguments in a disciplined and respectful manner. Don’t yell at me.

Spoilers ahead, of course :

"The dynamic is too different, it looks like a fanfic"

Okay. So, this one first. I see where you’re coming from. There’s cute nicknames all the time, they’re always banging, Tervo is a bit too "always there" in the episodes. I get it, it changes a lot.

But it didn’t just completely change because they got married. It completely changed because the Valentines episode broke everything they thought they knew about each other. At first, Terry and Korvo were friends. Then they became such good friends that they would kiss sometimes on the lips. They tongue kiss in season 4 (not before I think), because that’s how much they feel a connection with the other. But they still think that their species doesn’t have love. It’s just really strong teammate affinity, right ? Yeah. It has to be. What else ?

(Not to mention that they’re both morons AND cartoon characters. Give them a break, they’re as sharp as a declawed kittens.)

And when the Valentines episode happens, they finally learn that they can feel love. And that they love each other. Their stupid minds were blown to ash. If they’re in love, they can do everything they wouldn’t dare to do before, everything that seemed kind of taboo. They can get married, kiss tongue anywhere, give each other romantic nicknames, say they love each other as much as they want.

That’s why I think this season was so… intense with Tervo. The next season will probably calm down and focus more on the family, while still keeping the love and cute nicknames between the two.

"Cherry becomes evil out of nowhere"

It might seem weird, but when it happened in front of my screen, I wasn’t really shocked. I just thought "oh… well, there it is."

As Cherry said herself : she never once tried to take the power. All she ever did was trying to help people, survive and protect her daughter. The wall took literally everything from her and spit her out. The only good thing about it is her child (and Montez).

She did nothing but play the hero over and over and was just really happy when she was away from it all with Pezlie. But that’s not the wall/backyard works. It will always be there, this society full of tiny people led by tiny dictators. And it will always be a menace for her and her child.

So if she can’t run, can’t hide, can’t keep playing hero, what else can she do ? Lead. "What you need is a queen". And you know ? In a way, she’s right. This society needs something or someone that will bring order to it. Real order. Everyone will live in the same place, food will be rationed (for the sick people, for winter, etc), and there will be laws. It’s what this place needs so that there will be no more freaking wars and conspiracies to fight or run from.

And yes, she does look pretty evil when she says that, especially when she orders them to bow. Because she snapped, she’s done. She got thrown into a lego hole, betrayed, stabbed, heartbroken, abandoned, left for dead by this society, and the only thing that matters to her from now one is to protect her kid and makes sure she grows up alright.

Then again… the god status she unlocked when the grass grew back just when she took over might make her actually join the dark side. We’ll see.

"Glenn’s story is so uninteresting and I freaking hate Tomblr"

For this one… I can’t really blame you. I was pretty disappointed that Zy and Glenn didn’t reunite. But I have to admit that I kind of liked Tomblr.

Just like every other planet, his home was ruled and ruined by Silvercops. They abused him and his family his whole life. Yet, he still joined them to change them from the inside, make it better, make it good. He believed in this dream so much he joined the ones who ruined his life to help people.

Even though everyone around him probably said "they’re way too dangerous" or "why join them, because you actually like them ?" or "you won’t even make it through the first training". No one believed in him, everyone bullied him but he persevered. So I get why he didn’t want to listen to Glenn when he told him to give up.

Even though we saw him blow up, I just hope he’s not actually dead yet, because that would be disappointing.

[istanchan]

While waiting for the last episode of 4 minutes to come out I’ve been watching Jes’s drama Love Hurts, and I’m having so much fun.

His character Theerakit is such a whore I love it. I’m not kidding, this is literally his opening scene😋

And to add to it his manipulation tactics rival that of Vegas!! (they match each other so well)

Because tell me why I’ve only watched like 4 episodes and he’s messing with 4 different girls!!

You have Venika, the main lead. Who he’s (spoiler) apparently going to marry and take over her business??? Idk it’s in the plot description. She’s a girl boss CEO and he’s plotting her downfall!! But at the same time she is completely ignoring all the glaring red flags so idk what to tell her.

Then you have Mani, who is Venika’s best friend and Co CEO btw. Who he meets on Tinder and sleeps with her to get more info on their company?? He also gaslights her into believing that it’s her fault that she thought they were more than fuck buddies?!?! Even though they had been talking for months like make it make sense.

Then there’s this influencer/celebrity that likes him and he just buys her flowers just because?? Idk tbh.

I’m not done yet no because you also have Jane! She’s and intern at Venika’s company who he leads on and practically lets her feel him up just to get the insider scoop on the company. She is well aware she is being used but doesn’t care?? Because Jes is so hot and I don’t blame her.

There’s also one more character but I’m only on episode 5 out of 16 and I’m not sure if this character is his aunt or his secret wife, so… idk I’ll update y’all about that. 🤞🏽

Anyways all in all after watching this I’m actually so obsessed with Jes. He’s very main lead worthy and I can see how Pond saw potential for him to be Tyme. I literally feel like screaming every time he’s on screen showing a sliver of skin. I then have to remind myself that I’ve literally seen this man’s bare ass on screen, biting another man’s bare ass mind you.

The show is actually super popular too it looks like, almost all the episodes have around 1 million views on the One31 YouTube channel. I can only imagine how exciting it was for Thai Lakorn watchers to get the news that he would be playing in 4 minutes.

The plot for this show is also plotting. It’s very dramatic and there’s so much going on it’s so fun. I’m also having fun thinking of fic ideas for Theerakit and Vegas because really they’re a match made in heaven and Vegas needs someone to put him in his place!!

I totally recommend watching the show it’s free on the One31 YouTube with subs!

[beebopboom]

ok. ok. ok. i’ve sat with it, processed, went to bed, woke up at 5am fiending for water, couldn’t go back to sleep and processed some more. Starting writing this and then had to go to work and now i’m back.

(skip this section if you just want my very limited 90min predictions for rn and not my rant lol)

i’ve been disappointed, sad, angry and just so tired.

and yet i think ive hit some form of acceptance. Don’t get me wrong I will mourn what six episodes would have gave us, even 90 minutes is shorter than most movies now days, but at least it’s something. That it doesn’t end with them not talking and a single angst filled kiss goodbye.

and it sucks to even say that because with so much queer media that seems to be the conclusion, “at least we get something.” That’s the reality we live in and it sucks that it has touched good omens.

Amazon was going to cancel, no way around it, and while it would have sucked I would not have blamed them (ok I would have a bit.) What happened with Neil is serious and there should be consequences. As much as I love this world and how much it has helped me, real people come first. He was such a huge name behind the show and a large part of the production process, that I would not have been surprised if they pulled the plug completely.

But they didn’t. We had so many people working behind the scenes to convince them to continue terry’s story because of their love of the story and because they know of our love the story. And for that I am thankful.

(also i’m pretty sure they kept the set pieces around this time instead of destroying them so that probably helped in green lighting something, yknow on the money side of this)

I’ve been through a devastating end season kiss that then didn’t get renewed before with aloto, which was also produced by amazon and they do not give a fuck. They were not lying when they said it was a miracle to get this renewed.

Which let’s talk about aloto, or a league of their own, real quick. Yknow do some comparisons even if it’s in reverse. This went from a little over two hour movie into an 8 episode series. And guess what it worked even if people had their doubts.

The movie version is a classic in its own right, I feel like everyone at least knows of it maybe can even quote some of the more iconic lines. It’s amazing and has a good story line. The TV show probably never would have went through without the backing of this movie.

and yes with the TV show they were able to go more in depth with the characters storylines, that’s just TV and that’s specifically the idea they went into filming with, to show the queer side of history within this girls baseball league, less about the actual baseball that the movie more focused on. They even pulled in Maybelle Blair, a former all American girls baseball league player, who helped tell the story of the show through her own experiences. (ok sorry for the rant, moving on)

but the movie (especially for the time period) had well rounded female characters with nuisances that we had never seen before on screen.

and before it even gets pointed out that aloto needed a s2 to finish their story I just to point out that even though it was a different story with different character arcs, both ended after one baseball season with the girls. Fully fleshed out characters with backstories and futures and a satisfying plot to match. It really was just the shock factor of their kiss being discovered right at the end that pushed their story to continue.

and yknow if numbers help you visualize more,

120min=8eps and 6eps=90min

feels proportional, idk if it is exactly cause this particular section was never my strong suit in math and i’m still tired lol

My point is for the most part, besides like a catch up in time between s2 and this movie, this 90min time frame is not going to have to squeeze in time to introduce characters and their motivations like we are used to with movies, besides if they introduce new characters which I don’t imagine would have been a lot anyways.

We have 2 seasons of backstory and plot. This is doable, even if may not be quite as elaborate as we were expecting.

Just like what we went through with the Owl House who also had a shorter air time than projected. S2 of the Owl House ended on a cliffhanger and even with the shortened time the ending was still well thought out, compelling and was able to be pulled off, very successfully.

We did not lose set designers or costume designers. Those important people behind the scenes that actually bring the world to life (as far as I know) are still there. And of course we did not loose our beloved actors that actually bring the characters to life.

and as for the new writer, we are at the end of October and they are still set to start filming in January, they are not writing completely new scripts in two months. They are reconceptualizing the already written scripts into a shorter form and editing where it is needed, perhaps adding scenes that better fit this form of media to help the narrative flow. They are also, I am sure, are getting help from the people who fought so hard to kept this thing running, if they even need it tbh. If they were trusted enough to get the script in their hands by the people who fought so hard to continue, then I guess I can give them a bit of my trust too.

So while the unknown is scary the community is strong both behind the scenes and in the fandom, I have faith, even if may not tie up every single loose end that I doubt a full s3 would have accomplished anyways, that their story will get told and will have a satisfying ending. Maybe with less trolls now too (because let’s be honest that’s what the kiss was).

And! think of all the fan made projects and fanfiction that could come out of all this. Cause really it’s always been the fandom that’s been the true heart and soul.

(ok rant now over)

and prediction time!!

a cold open, preferably something with Crowley’s Fall. I don’t see them moving to far away from this idea tbh.

a title screen, not sequence. i HOPE peter anderson studio still works with this project after everything. I think they will end up giving this movie a subtitle and they will work something out here that is short and sweet.

Now for the actual plot I’ll theorize about another day because I realized I haven’t really done that yet??? and that deserves its own proper post. oops

but ☝️ i have a few ideas of the set up,

the pacing will be a lot more like s1 than s2, which I was already anticipating and might even work out better in long form media.

there will still be minisodes, probably not as many and will probably be more incorporated like s2 where it had a direct correlation with the plot.

number of storylines may be reduced, GO is normally set up with 3 stories that all meet at a single point finale point. I would not be surprised if it was cut down to 2 main storylines, us vs them kinda thing, that will still really work out well.

all our beloved wacky easter eggs will still be there, a lot of those were references to Terry so I don’t see those going anywhere anytime soon.

south downs is still a go, i also don’t see them getting rid of this at all. It was always the goal. Give them some goddamn peace and quiet.

the end credits, this is where Peter Andersen studios could pop off again but the important bit is….

end credit scene!!!! really this is just something I would like to happen and it’d be really cool if it was the actual actors, hell throw in the whole crew, just as a little send off.

ok wow I thought I had more…um obviously this could be all bullshit but I feel pretty good about it.

but really all this to say that to just breathe, experience your emotions as they are all we got right now. We got an answer, finally, so no more waiting in the unknown. 🫶

[carigm]

Today Millie had a fan panel in which she answered that her ideal ending would be Mike and El getting married and Will being happy and confessing to Mike (lol) and ofc the Stranger Things fandom kicked up the old Byler vs Mlvn war once again, regardless of the fact she doesn’t write the show. But I want to break down some points here about things I’ve been noticing today, but also for a while and that I think need to be discussed. Keep reading if you want.

I’ve seen a lot of hostility towards Byler and Bylers on Twitter lately, saying we’re delusional and don’t know what we’re talking about. This always seems to be the go to argument even tho it’s all in the narrative. Today it got really bad after Millie’s comments and even people that were merely disagreeing with her opinions got called everything from delusional to misogynistic.

IF the Duffers suddenly decided to ignore everything they’ve carefully crafted and put into their narrative that doesn’t make anyone delusional, it just makes them terrible writers. Who would be doing a great disservice to all three characters involved in the love triangle.

There’s been an insurgence (on Twitter) of so called “Will stans” who seem to be completely fine with the idea of mlvn being endgame because “Will can just get another boyfriend” Not only is this insulting to what the writers have already established for Will’s character but it’s also a defense and endorsement of the worst kind of lazy/bad writing that could graze our screens.

The Duffers CHOSE to tie Will’s character arc to Mike’s and El’s.

How do you expect them to undo that and create a well fleshed out character that’s deserving of Will, in 8 episodes that we know are not just gonna be dedicated to Will’s supposed love interest, because there’s a shit ton of stuff to resolve?

If this was the route the Duffers were going for, they could’ve clearly given Will a love interest last season (like with Robin) or two seasons ago (like with Dustin) And yet somehow, people think it would be totally okay for Will to get the most meaningless romance of all time as the writers ignore the same story they’ve created.

Another point I’ve been seeing a lot from these people is “Mike won’t come out. Let it go. He’s just a very unlikable character” What does that say about the quality of the writing and content you’re willing to consume then? You’re okay with characters being poorly written? And please someone explain to me how Mike’s actions, especially in S4, make any sense unless he likes Will.

The more people try to simplify this story the more plot holes and inconsistencies it creates.

The funny thing is that a lot of these “Will stans” used to be Bylers themselves but are so deathly afraid it won’t be endgame that they’ve started to use the same rhetoric mlvns use every day to justify what would be atrocious writing.

And this next thing might be controversial but I think it needs to be said.

So many people on Twitter have hit those who disagree with Millie’s opinion today with “y’all are misinterpreting Millie’s words” and let me tell you, no one has. She’s been saying the same stuff for forever and quite frankly she’s never had a coherent thought about Will. Which is fine, at the end of the day that’s not the character she plays. However, I haven’t forgotten how last year (at another panel) she was asked about Byler and said it was just a reflection of Finn and Noah’s friendship and that was what people were seeing…

Whatever the fuck that means, I guess.

Again, I’m not taking her answer today too seriously cause truth be told she’s been saying some version of this since she was around twelve, and has even at times said she was joking about it. If a wedding were actually happening she wouldn’t be able to say it cause I’d literally be a spoiler, even if she doesn’t have the scripts yet or doesn’t know I’m sure there’s things that would be off limits for any actor to say at this point.

But this defense squad that formed today begging for us to not misconstrue her words because “she really cares about Will’s character” is laughable.

Her answers regarding the topic of the love triangle have been anything but nuanced. If she doesn’t want to get into it or address it, that’s fine. It’s her choice.

But of course, mlvn stans are gonna take her answers seriously, as well as those who are now “Will stans” who basically ship mlvn too.

And to me there’s a fundamental flaw regarding the ship wars in this fandom, which these people don’t seem to grasp. At this point, it isn’t so much about “which ship is better” but “which outcome isn’t violently homophobic”

That’s it.

I don’t care how much you ship mlvn, this is the undisputed truth here.

But when your lead actors act like it’s not a big deal, it’s no surprise the fandom doesn’t give a shit.

I can only hope the Duffers were smart enough to see reason and were able to write the only outcome that won’t set television back around 10 years or so.

And hopefully one day, when S5 is out, we can get a more in depth and honest conversation with the actors about all of this.

As for me, I’m gonna lay low and not give much of a fuck until we start getting those Reddit leaks, which were very much accurate for last season. I’ll take a peak at those, and depending on what they look like, I’ll stay around or dip completely.

If you read all of this, thank you.

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E10 Reaction

Life has been a bit busier the last few weeks so I am finally catching up on my episode reactions (I’m determined to do all of them this season!) And I apologize y’all, this episode made me very snarky apparently.

I’ll be honest. When this episode first came out I was nowhere near as surprised by it or horrified by it as reviewers seemed to be. Nothing about Palpatine hunting down force sensitive children as experiments and using Cad Bane to do it is a surprise, and the Vault feels so much like Andor. But even on a rewatch this episode holds up so well and honestly just starts to give a cold chill under the skin as the quiet horror of it sinks in.

- Cute kid. And the Batch nowhere to be seen. This is going to be a different episode isn’t it

- Oh no. He’s force sensitive 😫😫😫 hmmm how could that possibly go wrong

- This is giving Andor vibes 👀

- It’s always interesting seeing “regular people” in Star Wars and little markets and how they’re just trying to go about their daily lives.

- Don’t go around snitching people! Nothing good ever comes of it!!!

- Yeah this guy is worse than Timm from Andor. Wtf dude. You’re turning in a baby!!

- Also is it just me or typical Star Wars “houses” end up being pretty dark and depressing?

- Wait okay okay. So this is the CX chamber. Why can’t we see any of them yet 😩😩 what is this red fog? What are these weird conditioning pods? What kind of armor is on this datapad?? *trying to crawl inside my screen* I NEED ANSWERS JENNIFER!!

- “Do you trust me?” Ooooh why do I think that’s going to come back around

- But also, babygirl, I don’t think you actually know what you’re signing up for

- “I could be more useful” “you wish to be the new chief scientist Dr. Karr?” “I believe I’ve earned it.” Alright. This. This is interesting. This fully encapsulates the dynamic that these two have shared. Emerie knows that Hemlock only values things that are useful, and probably only sees her own value in the light of what she can contribute, due to how she was raised and the circumstances she has been trapped in. Hemlock’s tone of voice implies that he has never considered her as being the new chief scientist, and yet he acquiesces quite quickly, almost as though he’s just too busy to think about it and if it means things are brought back up to production standard then he’s fine with it. His utter disregard for Emerie as an actual human and someone with merit is disgusting though.

- But I get it, the man’s busy, he’s got a lot of evil shit he’s trying to do all at the same time 🙄

- So we have “the assets”, which is the area that Hemlock took Palpatine in the first episodes, where the orange containment pods are and the zillo beast is being kept. We still don’t know what those assets are. The Vault is something different.

- Well. Shit. It’s Andor and Narkina 5 for kids. Lovely 😳💀

- “There are few adults left with such characteristics” I WONDER IN THE NAME OF ONE EMPEROR PALPATINE WHY

- Okay so this entire exchange is awful. The kids are so cute! Hemlock is so cold. “Specimens. Assets” ughhh Emerie what are you getting yourself into!!

- Is this the first time we’ve heard the word glasses in Star Wars?

- Oh no. So THIS is why Cad Bane was brought back 🥺🥺

- The score in this episode is perfectly eerie

- Lol Todo is not good with kids huh 🤣

- That poor mama when she wakes up and finds her baby is gone

- I hope that dude has his entire life flash before his eyes as he’s trying to pick all of those credits up

- “My name’s Eva” 🥹🥹🥹 Emerie has no idea how to handle this 😂

- I still wanna know what’s happened with these commandos. No way a clone of Jango Fett is able to look a child in the eyes, call them a “specimen” and not have even an ounce of remorse as they stun them point blank.

- “Jax?” And Eva just points. The power in knowing someone’s name vs a dehumanizing number

- It’s also interesting that these kids are species that are red, blue, and green, and when they get Bayrn in, he’s white. RGB colors make up white light when put together.

- The little peeks of Emerie’s backstory we keep getting are so interesting. She was abandoned by Nala Se. She knows that these children don’t belong here, the same way that Omega told both her and Crosshair that they didn’t belong here either. Nala Se says that the Empire will hold these kids to control them. Emerie feels like she has no power to do anything differently. So much to unpack here.

- Why is Tarkin’s holo so large?

- Lol I honestly love getting to see the backbiting politics of how the Empire functions. It’s so bad and so funny

- Also love that Project Necromancer is so secret that even Tarkin doesn’t know what it is. He’s so nosy

- Okay why does he bring up the CX schematic again and why is it so different than the one we saw earlier??

- Whoa Cid was tortured???

- “The other operatives aren’t ready to join you in the field” why????

- We’re visiting a lot of space stations this season

- Man I wish Emerie had fudged this test

- Nooo let the poor baby go home 🥺

- Oh and now we’re putting kids in solitary confinement. Great.

- C’mon Emerie. Keep clicking that moral compass until it points north

- She kept the straw Lula. She’s giving it to Eva 😭. There’s hope for her yet

[galpalo]

No I’m not late, just took a break because school is currently busying my schedule.

if I could fit every screenshot here I would. But the limit. J my girl,,

ALRIGHT, finale episode huh? Yeah I’m not okay either

Ah good ol’ teacher with no canonical name (maybe, the fandom creates a new name for him every season) dudes so done with life he doesn’t care if the world is ending, I wonder if they extended the episode he might’ve had a much bigger role? Like he knew nori and khan before. Would’ve loved to see more of Alice,,

UGHHHHFGHEHDHD DAUGHTER MOTHER MOMENT. FINALLY. THE MOMENT WHEN “solver control me again?” “If you a little bitch” AND ITS SEEN AS PARENTAL ADVISORY. THEM.

he got more assertive with his emotions guys. He told her he was still mad about her whole “self sacrifice” thing back at ep 7. It’s so small yet so much. Guys. Development.

Ah. At least the solver was nice enough to send a message. The inaudible frustration afterwards was funny though-

This. Uzi literally admits being nervous over it because she can’t read the signs well because of how lonesome and isolated she was from her peers (my analysis, I suggest seeing a video or blog that talks deeper into her personality) and N saying that “that was the plan, yeah—“ UGHHSHWUSHUWSHJA

I’m. Gonna screa.m they mean so much to me chat.

The fact N literally gave her a drawing that said “I O U 1 SPACESHIP” is so damn adorable and her IRRITATION with it!! love it. I’m going to talk about this moment so keep it in mind real quick.

Can we appreciate the fact they applied the whole “gravity” space logic into this?? Even when uzi tried to talk with her mom earlier? I love when shows/games do this, hello Lizzy and Thad hope y’all like your time in the near-apocalypse. sorry you guys had to experience it 😭

“I’m fine! And CALM. and GO AWAY.” doesn’t seem calm to me J, lizzy rolling her eyes while Thad is concerned over their fate at that scene. PLEASE. Lizzys beef with that sentinel is like your two friends fighting on a daily basis for petty funsies.

JAW DROPPED. THE MUSIC WAS LITERALLY SO COOL WHEN THE BEAT DROPPED. AND SHES FUCKING BACK???!

YEAH NOT THE TIME TO GO “um actually” J. BUT PLEASE. PLEASE. WE ALL THOUGHT J DIDNT KNOW IT WAS CYN. BUT GUYS. SHE WAS. AND V IS FURIOUS. PLEASE STICK WITH ME THROUGH THIS.

Back at the camp episode, when V said “we do our jobs” it was what J told them all along. “And it leaves us alone/and that thing leaves us alone!” so the solver tricked them into thinking that once their job is over they’ll be left alone, remember when Uzi in the pilot told N that when the disassembly drones job was over that the “humans” would throw discard them? Yeah. Also am I the only one who thinks when J told her to “grow up” it’s like “grow up from the hopes of returning home/to the mansion and the solver leaving us alone”??

AND YOU WERE AWARE OF IT SIS? WERE YOU TRYING TO PROTECT THEM IN YOUR OWJ WAY? but seriously, while we did hate J in the pilot, when you think about it (far fetched but stick with me here) she was being mean and hard on them so they get the job done. So the solver would leave them be. Guys.

so remember how she and Tessa were super close? Yeah? Yeah it probably hurt her yeah. I’m fine. Don’t worry. I.m fine. Vs look of confused concern is no problem. Yeah.

See what I mean. It tortured J off screen. TAUNTED HER even. She even LOOKS upset by it. She wants PEACE. And she’s coping by calling the solver BOSS, THE NAME SHE CALLED TESSA BAKC AT THE MA.NSION.

“I never needed either of you.” leave my girl ALONE.

SCREAMS???THE STRESS IN THIS SCENE?!

fun fact: in the Russian dub when the solver says “you won’t talk to me because I have hurt you feelings.” It instead says “after all, I’ve been alive…” guys. Theorist. Do your thing. Right now my mind is scattered brothers. The same thing happens in the Spanish dub when the solver says “hi N!” It says it in Tessa voice. Guys. It’s taunting them.

And Vs apology before the solver literally IMPALES N. I’m gonna cry. She wasn’t aware the solver literally KILLED Tessa “Tessa is cyn!”

Hello? This moment that I see no one talking about?? Appalling. Maid Vs corpse?? So this is a flashback to episode 5 “home”, to where I assume the massacre already happened and this is when the solver (who canonically was said to have taken cyn as a HOST. confirmed by “Tessa”.) and while this might sound bizarre, is in the process of modeling the drones to disassembly ones??? Guys?? The fear and confusion in the mans eyes? He saw his former crush dead body and his supposed friend tear them both apart?? I pray for a season 2.

[girl4music]

“Like so many of the stories that we’ve done, many many different elements came together to create a script. Mehndi was one of them and it’s something that I was a little aware of. I’ve done a little bit of reading on it. Not a lot. I believe Rob was the one who came to me, however, and said ‘Wow, this is fascinating’, ‘this is, you know, really great, what can you do with this?’

I had already wanted to grab a hold of the reincarnation idea and there are a few elements that fuelled this. One I’m going to have to reference is a song by Paul Williams, which was in The Muppet Movie. And there was a line in this one song that I felt, and I’d always felt this way, described the two characters perfectly. The line was ‘there’s not a word yet for old friends who have just met’. And I thought you know something? They are old friends. They just met. But they’re old friends. So in my mind throughout history and throughout destiny, these two characters’ souls have existed and have met, parted ways, met, intertwined, parted ways. And that fit in perfectly with the reincarnation theory but what was important for these two characters is that those two souls have throughout history intertwined, they’ve come together, they’ve parted ways, they’ve come together again, they’ve intertwined, they’ve parted ways. This has happened continuously and every time it happens in their lifetimes, they recognize each other. Not like ‘oh, you’re Xena, oh, I’m Gabrielle’. No no, they say ‘I know you. I know you and I have to be with you. I don’t know why but I do’.

Now bringing the Mehndi into it. Mehndi was perfect symbolism to this because when you think about it, Mehndi, um, if you’ve done it and if you’ve read up on what Mehndi means, it’s not just drawing. Mehndi has an entire meaning behind it. There’s a whole philosophy and spirituality based on Mehndi. The simplest part of it was the fact that Mehndi has a lot of lines that run parallel to each other and they will intersect, they will form beautiful designs, then they will part again and run parallel. Well, that’s lives. Xena and Gabrielle - those are the lives. Those are the threads of their lives. They run parallel to each other, they intersect, form beautiful designs. Then they might part but they still run parallel to each other. And what really counts is what’s between those lines. There’s the title; ‘Between The Lines’.”

Half the reason why they ended up taking the soulmates motif so seriously and literally was due to Steven L. Sears and his reincarnation idea and understanding of Xena and Gabrielle’s soulmate connection. So, in my view, half the reason why the love story is so damn profound is because of him.

Now he would be the first to scoff at that and say that I’m giving him far too much credit. But that is exactly why he is amazing and deserves that much credit.

‘Between The Lines’ took the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle to a whole other level because we do learn that they actually are true to life soulmates and all of what that informed and involved for them as individual characters as well as together as a couple. And so everything leading up to this episode now felt so much more intense and deep and poignant.

Substantial. And I wouldn’t have been able to write my character study thesis without it. Even though I don’t directly mention it - it’s sort of just embedded within the insightful interpretation that I’ve made about it because this episode doesn’t just tell a one-time storyline about the characters. It essentially informs EVERYTHING about them. Who they are and why - and especially how they are such a great team that navigate their soulmate connection to be just that.

It’s like these two people who seemed to be total strangers until this episode was seen were actually destined to meet and travel together and fall in love because their very soul that they shared fated it so.

And by the gods - I have yet to see or know a relationship that is that damn EPIC on-screen.

Xena and Gabrielle are the WLW representation you expect to be provided - considered canon or not - because this level of storytelling between female characters that can be interpreted as romantic just doesn’t happen anymore. There’s no time or room for it to in the TV art/entertainment industry apparently.

[dungeons-and-dictions]

It’s Analysis Friday about precisely why Hazbin Hotel is such a stand out.

But first - this is probably my last Hazbin Hotel-related analysis until the next season; give me asks during this long dry spell!

Why on this specific topic? Because I’m tired.

Y’all.

Listen.

I’m all for subjectivity. People can just like or dislike things regardless of quality. Heck, I know Helluva Boss is part of the Hazbin world, but it gives me too much cringe and vicarious embarrassment to handle.

(Yeah, I’m weird. I know)

But I keep hearing people say Hazbin Hotel is mid or just relying on hype.

Those are fighting words!

We are getting quality on par with Disney movies for a tv series!

That’s crazy! Let’s break it down.

Musical numbers

Talented singers play the main crew. Stephanie Beatrix plays Mirabel Madrigal, Kimiko plays Izzy, etc.

There were 2 songs per episode! And because it is truly perfect for a musical, we even get thematic reprises and callbacks!

Does anyone recall when similar things have happened in animation? MLP:FiM had a glorious episode that was ALL musical with a reprise. That’s all I have at this scale outside of Disney.

Characters

I’ve always known Vivzie to put thought into her work, and this shines through so well in Hazbin.

Lucifer’s depression is similar to my own

Angel’s gradual changes and struggles are realistic

Charlie’s breed of passion is the same as mine in my career

Alastor’s extremely manipulative yet we all love him

Velvette had one of the best formal character intros I’ve seen in a long time

Hazbin Hotel works really hard to get away from stereotypes, and dives in past superficial traits.

Also, we get things like Valentino sounding like he’s squeaking because moths squeak. We don’t need these things!

Animation

You know what else we don’t need?

Airplane arms!

Complicated dance moves!

Cute leg swishies with cuter sound effects?

Every second you see is 10+ frames traditionally. (Idk the studio’s technical details). That’s wild to add in these complicated extra details! And they flow so nicely! This level of quality for 2D (and honestly 3D too most of the time) is unheard of in the West nowadays.

And on that, western adult animated shows typically are so poorly made, especially in the art. Even the few I have seen that have okay stories to tell absolutely stink in terms of visuals and movement.

Story

Yeah, this is the biggest weakness Hazbin Hotel has, no doubt. The story is actually an incredible premise, and truly done pretty well within the awful time constraints. I think everyone is valid in saying it was far too fast! Hopefully we get more (or longer) episodes in upcoming seasons.

But at the same time, this is also the nature of musicals. If you think this is fast, don’t watch the Les Miserables musical where everyone only sings. Idk why, but singing the entire time makes everything seem like you’re in a race car on autopilot.

Don’t forget; the symbolism just drips out of the screen in this show. The fact that I could still do more analyses even now is a testament to that with all the content I have done since it aired. Vivienne goes hard on the details.

But put yourself in Vivzie’s shoes. You do the impossible, shot for the moon while hoping for maybe the top of a 5-story building, and you were offered the stars. Your project has been a part of who you are before you even went to university, and a major company gives you a way to bring it to life? Why wouldn’t you settle for this good of a deal?

Innovation

People do not bring up often enough that Vivienne broke a glass ceiling separate from that of gender. She showed that YouTube animations can be taken seriously, and even be aired.

In this age, the Saturday morning cartoon blocks I grew up with no longer exist. There were tons of great shows, and I could talk with other kids about it. Nestled within these weekends were shows that ran short pilot episodes for potential series. The last time I saw one was Adventure Time’s pilot.

It’s been a whiiiiiiile.

So having a cutesy little indie pilot animation amongst thousands on YouTube be such high quality and get a mainstream platform? Spindlehorse made history!

Moreso, Helluva Boss is also demonstrating the capacity of indie studios like never before - and what may pave the way for the future of animation too.

Out of all the animated series running on YouTube, Glitch is the only creator who does 3D that I am aware of. Even Glitch’s work has only started within the past few years, ie after Vivienne managed the impossible.

So please, stop complaining about subjective parts so much. Hazbin Hotel objectively has some of the highest craftsmanship in western animation.

We are blessed that Vivienne’s dream has come true in such a glorious manner. When I discovered her back in 2012, I couldn’t have guessed the pilot would be so successful, nor that it would change what was possible for animation!

[twistedtummies2]

Top 5 WORST Dracula Portrayals

Anyone who knows me well by now should also know that one of my favorite stories of all time is Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I love the book, and I love seeing how the story and its titular character are reimagined throughout the breadth of pop culture. And there are PLENTY of reimaginings and adaptations to go around: Count Dracula, alongside Sherlock Holmes, is one of the most frequently reinterpreted characters in the history of fiction. Of course, with so many interpretations, there are plenty of great Draculas out there: Christopher Lee, Bela Lugosi, Max Schreck, Gary Oldman, and more. But with the good must also come the bad: there are a LOT of really terrible Dracula movies and portrayals out there, just as there are a lot of really fun ones… …And I actually haven’t seen many of them. Well…actually, I suppose I have, but it depends on what you’re really looking at. For example, I love John Carradine’s PORTRAYAL of Dracula, but the movies he was actually in were often sub-par. Grandpa from “The Munsters” and the version from “Hotel Transylvania” are comical, incompetent buffoons, but they’re meant to be parody characters and I like them for the humor and campy silliness they provide. There are even a couple of Draculas that a lot of people seem to dislike that I actually think are okay. I have no big problem with Rudolf Martin from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (admittedly, this may partially be because I have only watched all of two episodes of that show), nor with Richard Roxburgh from “Van Helsing,” yet in researching this list, I found out that a LOT of people REALLY dislike those interpretations, as an example. Finally, it’s worth pointing out that I have, in fact, DELIBERATELY AVOIDED watching several bad Draculas because…well…they’re bad. And I KNOW they’re bad. Why in the world would I want to watch something that is notoriously terrible, aside from just…ascertaining that it IS, in fact, terrible. So, for instance, I haven’t seen “Dracula in Istanbul,” “Blacula,” “Dracula’s Dog,” and/or many, many other horrendously dreadful renditions that have gained some notoriety.

With all that said, this doesn’t mean that I’ve liked every single version of Dracula - as a character or as a story - that I’ve seen. Even I know a few Draculas that I frankly just don’t like. And it’s worth knowing the mistakes that have been made when handling this character, as much as it is worth praising the achievements. So, today, in honor of World Dracula Day, we’re gonna take a look at some of the worst of the worst from Transylvania. These are, in my personal, humble, and EXTREMELY biased opinion, the Top 5 Worst Portrayals of Count Dracula.

5. Carlos Villarias, from “Spanish Dracula.”

What is “Spanish Dracula,” some of you may be wondering? Well, here’s the basics: in 1931, Universal wanted to release their screen adaptation of Dracula in both English AND in Spanish. This was still in the early days of sound, and as a result, dubbing was a concept that really hadn’t been fully figured out. Typically, the way American studios handled making foreign-language movies, as a result, was just doing a second version of the film with different actors, all speaking the language intended. Very, very few of these alternate language films exist, and I think many would agree that the Spanish version of Dracula is one of the most famous to survive. In English, of course, Dracula was played by the immortal Bela Lugosi…and for the Spanish cast? They got this guy: Carlos Villarias. Many critics feel the Spanish Dracula is actually better, on a technical level, than the Lugosi outing. Having seen both films, I can’t say I agree: SOME things ARE better in it, but other things…ehhhh, the English version has them beat by a mile. It’s biggest problem is the cast, and ESPECIALLY Villarias as Dracula. I know nothing about this actor beyond this movie; maybe he’s great in other things, maybe he was just miscast…I don’t know. All I DO know is that, even if you take Lugosi’s iconic interpretation out of the equation, this is an AWFUL Dracula. How bad is he? Imagine if “Dracula: Dead & Loving It” was actually trying to take itself seriously. THAT is the best way I can describe this performance. Villarias comes off as more comical than creepy, his exaggerated and often bizarre expressions seeming like a parody of something that hasn’t even gained the legacy it needs to BE parodied yet. We all love to mock Lugosi occasionally, but Villarias feels like self-mockery already in the works, and - through both his performance and some differences in the writing/direction - comes across as a clownish idiot rather than a superior monster or an elegant aristocrat. The Spanish Dracula has its ups and downs, but Villarias certainly proves that one bad element can bring down an otherwise decent product.

4. Peter Karrie, from Nosferatu the Vampire: The Musical.

I am aware of at least four musical theatre interpretations of Dracula. The most famous one is a stage show by Frank Wildhorn, which isn’t great, but does have some good songs and has been done quite a few times with great actors. Another was a concept album by the musical trio of Evans, Orton, and Lynn; that one featured Michael McCarthy as the Count, and was never actually staged. Like the Wildhorn show, it’s not really that great, but it has a few good songs and performers. There’s also a musical comedy version, which I haven’t actually looked at, but I’ve heard is pretty good…and then there’s this show. Ostensibly, “Nosferatu the Vampire: The Musical” is a musical adaptation of the classic silent film “Nosferatu,” which is widely considered the first true Dracula movie ever made, and is certainly the oldest surviving adaptation. HOWEVER, that’s not really the case: the show is really sort of a blend of Nosferatu, the Bram Stoker novel, and some original material, all rolled into one…and it is ABYSMAL. I was SHOCKED to learn that this show has been staged more than once, and that the original cast recording actually featured some pretty big names in musical theatre. The most notable is poor Peter Karrie, one of the greatest performers of another Gothic legend, the Phantom of the Opera. I’ll give Karrie credit, his voice is beautiful (he’s played the Angel of Music, it kind of has to be), but not even his golden pipes can save this train wreck. The plot is terrible, the characters are bland, the morals are confusing, and there’s WAY too much focus on the sexual angles of the story in this for my comfort. (The sensuality of the vampire IS a topic that is present in the book, mind you, and far from something new...but you have to be VERY careful how you touch it. Trust me.) Worst of all, the music - very frankly - just isn’t that good. The lyrics are vapid and rambling, the orchestration and rhythms feel very “samey” throughout…it’s just DULL. With the other musicals, I can at least give them credit for a few catchy numbers, but this one? I can’t really remember much of anything these characters say or sing, I just remember the boredom and nonsense of the whole clumsy heap. As a result, Karrie’s shot at playing the Count is essentially the opposite of our previous pick: sometimes not even having a great performer can save terrible material, and this is a good example of that.

3. The Version from “Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned.”

I’ll confess that I hesitated to include this Dracula on the list - as well as another one later on - because he’s actually based on Marvel’s Dracula, specifically. Marvel’s Dracula - in other things - has been good. However, after some minor debate, I felt that both of the aforementioned versions simply HAD to be addressed, since - ties to Marvel or not - they are abominable interpretations. Released in some countries under the title “The Tomb of Dracula” (taken from the comic series it is purportedly based on), “Sovereign of the Damned” was an anime movie made by Toei, released in the early 80s. In the original Japanese version, the Count is voiced by Kenji Utsumi; in English, he’s dubbed - VERY badly - by Tom Wyner. If you’re wondering if the dubbing is in any way a contributing factor to this film’s terribleness…don’t worry: this movie is ATROCIOUS no matter what language the characters speak. (Believe me, I know.) The film unwisely attempts to adapt an entire many-issue comic series into a single hour-and-a-half-long story, which works about as well as you’d expect. The plot is like the Grinch’s soul: “an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots.” Character development goes entirely out the window, and Dracula himself arguably suffers the worst for this. The Count comes across as a total klutz in the film: the movie attempts to make him a sympathetic anti-hero, but the story is such a shambles you never really get to know him well enough to root for him, and he spends most of the movie either running away from danger or being foiled at every turn, with little indication of how truly powerful he really is. He comes across as an idiot much of the time, and isn’t even present for a big chunk of the film to begin with! With a title like “Sovereign of the Damned,” I can safely say I expected more.

2. All of the Actors from Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires.

This is probably one of the weirdest Dracula movies I’ve ever seen, as well as one of the worst. “Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires” was an out-of-continuity entry in the popular Hammer Dracula series, which famously starred Christopher Lee as the Count. At the time “Seven Golden Vampires” came out, however, Lee had left the role, feeling deeply disappointed by the previous and “official” final film in the series, “The Satanic Rites of Dracula.” Hammer studios, meanwhile, was teetering on the brink of collapse, and was really struggling for creative ideas. The result of these combined problems led to this colossal, mad junkyard of a movie: a bizarre blend of Kung Fu action adventure and Gothic chiller. Now, this combination, on its own terms, I actually don’t think is a totally bad idea: if you look far enough, you’ll find good examples of how you can blend the styles of martial-arts-focused action and Gothic horror together. This, however, is not one of them, and part of the problem stems from how poorly Dracula, himself, is managed. Without Lee to handle the reins, Hammer called instead upon contract player John Forbes-Robertson to play the Count. However, Forbes-Robertson doesn’t even GET to play Dracula for most of the film: he only appears at the beginning and in the climactic final battle between himself and Van Helsing. For most of the movie, Dracula’s spirit has possessed the body of a Chinese criminal known as Kah, played by Chan Shen. Instead of getting Forbes-Robertson to do the voice, Kah’s “Dracula Voice” is provided instead by dubbing actor David de Keyser. All three of these actors…are terrible. Forbes-Robertson is a stiff and somewhat silly Dracula when he is onscreen, and is defeated in a highly anticlimactic way in the end. Chan Shen as Kah comes across as a caricature more than a true "character," and his bodily performance feels like a strange blend of kabuki and English pantomime. Meanwhile, Keyser’s very badly-dubbed performance is wooden and stilted. When it takes three men to replace just one, and NONE of them do the job even remotely well? It feels like a true disgrace not only to the character, but also to the one who played him before. I’ll give all three of them this, they at least help to show what made Lee’s Dracula so singlehandedly spectacular.

1. Dominic Purcell, from Blade: Trinity.

This is the other Marvel Dracula on the list I mentioned a while ago. All of my entries up till now have been very long-winded, I know…but my reasons for naming poor Dominic Purcell from the abominable shambles that is “Blade: Trinity” as my pick for the absolute worst Dracula I’ve ever seen is much easier to explain. That reason can be summed up in the following phrase: this is not Dracula. This simply isn’t. I get what the movie was attempting to do - trying to focus on Dracula as this ancient, demonic warrior figure rather than “the Count,” so to speak. However, as various other versions have shown, there are ways you can focus on the “aggressive” aspects of Dracula AND STILL MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE DRACULA. Purcell is simply miscast and misdirected: he doesn’t look like a duck, he doesn’t quack like a duck, he doesn’t waddle like a duck, and therefore it’s fair to say he ain’t Duckula. I’m sure he’s trying his best, but - and it's a shame to say these words - his best just isn’t good enough. For that reason, above all else, he takes the number one spot on this list. There is literally no worse sin I can think of than looking at someone playing such a character and having nothing else to say but, “you, sir, are no Dracula.” 

(DIS)HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

Leslie Nielsen, from Dracula: Dead and Loving It.

I know lots of people actually like this movie, but I personally do not. I just don’t think it’s very funny, for the most part, and even as far as spoofs go, I feel Leslie Nielsen is a weird choice for the character. It isn’t completely terrible, however - there’s a few jokes that make me laugh strewn throughout, and I like Peter MacNicol as Renfield - so it gets a pass from the top five.

Lon Chaney, Jr. from Son of Dracula.

It’s left somewhat ambiguous if the character in this film, “Count Alucard,” is indeed the Son of Dracula, or Dracula himself. This, for the record, is why things like “Hellsing” and “Castlevania” have used the name Alucard for both purposes: this is the movie that came up with that alias. While the invention of the name is noteworthy, the film itself is flawed. Chaney - God bless him - is woefully miscast. Whether he’s Dracula OR his Son, I think he did much better in his other Universal Monster roles.

Udo Kier, from Andy Warhol’s Dracula AND Langley Kirkwood, from Dracula 3000.

In both of these cases, I haven't even FINISHED these movies because they're just so freaking terrible. I've only seen parts of them, never the full thing through. I didn't feel it was fair to give them actual placement on the ranks as a result, but they're definitely worth noting for their own dreadfulness levels. In Udo Kier's case, I'd much rather watch him riding on the back of a T. Rex...bravo, if you got that reference.