#so I can work on rebuilding my health now!
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victormcdicktor · 3 days ago
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STOP! Help Aya and her family survive!
For over a year now, Aya and her family have been struggling under genocide.
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They were displaced from their home back in 2023, and since have been in horrid conditions. They are forced to make do without access to water, cooking oil, or electricity, and can only heat themselves with firewood.
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Aya's grandmother and father are both in poor health. Her grandmother suffers from chronic illness, and is being forced to walk hundreds of kilometers each displacement despite her barely being able to walk at all. She is deteriorating in her condition, as she cannot access any medical care in Ghazzah. Her father has high blood pressure and also is unable to receive medical care, and yet is overexerting himself to support his family.
The whole family is suffering mentally, too. Aya feels that her passions have been completely snuffed by the genocide; her brother feels similarly about his own life and has become depressed.
They also are all unable to work anymore, destroying their income. This is very dangerous in a place like Ghazzah, where prices for even the smallest bit of food or medicine are exorbitant.
In order for Aya and her family to evacuate into Egypt and rebuild their lives, they need to raise €35,000. So far, they've only raised €746 and had only 1 donation in the last day.
Please, please help them. Donate if you can and share their campaign. Every contribution matters.
VETTED HERE (217)
TAG LIST (DM me for removal)
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(sorry for the randomness of the tags, I just used what popped up. If anyone has advice on how to make a good taglist please tell me)
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toleen-hassouna · 1 month ago
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Help me get my life back, achieve my goal, and save the rest of my family
Education, which was young Tulin's passion, now seems like a distant memory, as there is no school, no home, and no safe place. The war has forced us to abandon our dreams and our work. Life as we knew it has stopped, swallowed up by a sea of ​​uncertainty, loss and despair
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• My daughter Tulane is a radiant ray of sunshine, bringing joy, warmth and boundless love to everyone she meets. She has been through many health ailments.
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• My middle daughter, Wateen, who is five years old, suffered a broken leg as a result of escaping during the aggression against the area surrounding us. Wateen suffers from osteomalacia and poor growth. I hope that this incident will not be repeated and that I will not see anything bad about it
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• This is our house, full of our memories and moments of joy and happiness, which has now turned into ruins. His destruction
broke our hearts
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Despite the darkness that surrounds us, a ray of hope appears in our hearts - a longing to seek refuge in the embrace of safety, and to find solace in a land untouched by the scourges of war. Egypt beckons to us as a beacon of hope, promising safe haven and the opportunity to rebuild our shattered lives. However, the path to freedom is fraught with obstacles, and we are unable to afford the journey that might lead us to a new beginning.
My family and I are looking forward to evacuating to Egypt, but as you know, a lot of money is needed to pay for the coordination costs in order to cross the border, and we still need money to get the total amount required so that we can travel.
With each passing day, our burdens grow heavier, and our pleas for help become more urgent. We long for the warmth of a safe haven, an opportunity to regain what we have lost and forge a path to a brighter future
My family and I are about to embark on this journey of hope, but we cannot do it alone. Our situation is dire, and we need your support to rebuild our lives and provide a future for our children. Your kindness and generosity can make a big difference. Your contributions will help us provide safe shelter, access to medical care, and the basic necessities of life and we humbly appeal to you, kind souls, to extend your helping hand. Your generosity may pave the way for us to escape this nightmare, and give us a chance to start over
Please, consider helping us during these critical times. Every donation, regardless of size, brings us one step closer to safety, stability and the opportunity to rebuild our lives
With gratitude from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for every donation, every engagement, and every ounce of compassion you provide to our cause. Your support means more than words can express. Together, we can turn our story of loss into a journey of hope and resilience.
My campaign number is 320
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your concern
My campaign was vetted by ✅90-ghost🫂
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intersex-support · 3 months ago
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Help an intersex family in Gaza!
Hi everyone. I'd like to share about a fundraiser that is very important to me. A good friend of mine is in contact with the organizers.
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(Described in alt).
Their story:
"Hello, my name is Abeer. I'm organizing this fundraising campaign from Belgium on behalf of my family, who currently live in Gaza. 
Since October 7, all families in Gaza have been subjected to genocide. My family is one of those families that has had to flee its own home several times because of the threat of regular attacks. 
After two months, my family decided to return home and take the risk of being bombed at any moment rather than stay in the street. Our 4-floor building now contains over 100 people who have fled from different parts of Gaza. We always open our hearts for our own people, but we can't do it without your help and support. 
My parents, Kamal (53) and Moukaram (51), are suffering from the war because of their age and health. My brother Suliman, his wife Rawan Abualnaja and their two-year-old daughter Bisan are trying to stay strong, but it's complicated by their little daughter's enormous needs. My other siblings who are not married are Mohammed 25, Inas 22, Ibrahim 17, Abdallah 15.
My family medical condition during the war:
My father suffers from delusional disorders. He can't work or help my family financially. Mohammed and Ibrahim suffer from a chronic disease, congenital adrenal hyperplasia. It is difficult for them to obtain medication in Gaza. One of their medicines has not been available in Gaza for two years. During the war, they couldn't get their medicines because they simply didn't exist anymore. My family members are still suffering. They don't want to be potential victims. They want to escape death and live like other families on the planet.
 On 01/01/2024, they attacked the local mosque and the missile failed to explode and ended up in front of my family's house. My family is in danger and the missile will explode any second.
Since then, my family has decided to be evacuated from Gaza because of the senseless attack on our city. Please help me evacuate my family to Egypt so that they can rebuild their lives in peace.
I've been in Belgium for over five years. I feel useless because I haven't been able to do much except try to help them with their daily living expenses. That's why we created this campaign. We're raising funds to evacuate my family to Egypt, a place that offers a glimmer of hope and stability. However, the cost of the evacuation is high, hence our call for crowdfunding.
Every contribution makes a difference The funds we raise will be used for :
- Evacuation from Gaza for both families (Rafah border crossing fees for 9 people total)  - Two months of temporary living expenses in Egypt, including food, shelter, and transportation  - Passport fees  - Food expences untill they leave Gaza 
No matter how small your contribution, it can make all the difference in breaking the cycle of violence and uncertainty. By supporting our campaign, you are offering a lifeline to our families so that they can rebuild their lives, heal from their trauma and make a fresh start in a safe and secure environment. Please leave a comment and share our campaign with your friends, so we can reach more people and make a bigger impact. Together, we can make a difference!"
They are using a French platform called Papayoux Solidarite instead of GoFundMe. Abeer also has a Paypal account for non European donors.
They are currently at 33 588,78 €/ 50,000 €.
Let's see if we can get them to 34,000 today. Any donation matters, even $1 or $2 donations can add up.
We need to help them meet their goal. Intersex liberation means intersex liberation everywhere--it is so important that we show up in solidarity. Those of us living with CAH know how dangerous salt wasting crises are without medication, and how important it is to urgently help Mohammed and Ibrahim get access to the medications they need to support their CAH. Intersex solidarity means that we need to show up and support intersex people facing genocide.
If you can't donate, please share. Consider doing an art raffle to raise money. Do whatever you can to help this family because it is urgent, and we need to act in solidarity with them now and make sure that the intersex community is here to support them!
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lonniemachin · 7 months ago
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Sujood has reached out to me to boost she and Sanaa’s fundraiser. They’re urgently trying to evacuate their family from Gaza and seek asylum in Belgium. Their previous campaign was suspended, so they have started a new GFM and currently have £1,642 out of their £50,000 goal! Please share if you can’t donate!
From their GFM page:
Dear friends,
We are reaching out to you with a heartfelt plea for help. Our names are Sanaa and Sujood, and we find ourselves in an incredibly challenging and dangerous situation.
Unfortunately, our previous attempt to receive donations was unsuccessful due to restrictions on transactions to Gaza. However, the urgency of our circumstances compels us to reach out again, this time with new procedures in place to ensure the secure delivery of your generous contributions. We are launching a new campaign because we cannot afford to wait for a long time for the restrictions on the bank account to be lifted it’s already being two months now. We are unsure if we will be able to access the funds or if they will be returned to the donors. In any case, here in Gaza, we are fighting against time. Every day poses a threat to our safety, and we cannot afford to wait. If, after some time, we are able to retrieve the previous amount, we will use it to rebuild our lives and continue the education of my siblings.
The situation in Gaza has become increasingly unbearable, and we have been left with no choice but to seek assistance from compassionate individuals like you. Your donations can make a significant difference in our lives and help us escape the dire circumstances we currently face.
This is ours story:
I hope this message finds you in good health and spirits.
My name is Sanaa Odeh, currently in Gaza, occupied Palestine. I am writing this as a plea for survival, for a future for my family and myself.
Our lives are in immediate danger, with non stop explosions everyday and every night, tanks and guns all around us, and fear as a constant companion. It is a non-stop nightmare, every minute of every day, for 6 months. Everyday is a struggle for survival. Lack of food and clean water creating a crisis of death by starvation and dehydration.
Despite the endless nightmare, we are a resilient and strong family. My beautiful parents gave everything to raise us as successful daughters and we are so proud of what we have achieved.
I work as a graphic designer and my sisters: a nurse/educator, small business owner, a medical student, and a field coordinator. Despite being on the path to rich and promising futures, it can all be taken away in any moment. We have already lost several family members, including my uncles and their entire family. There is little hope that the situation will end soon, all of us waiting for our turn next.
We are looking to seek asylum in Belgium. This campaign will help support us in covering the costs to do so, specifically in covering the evacuation costs per person. Your donation will provide us with the chance to escape the endless horror we’ve been facing for the last 6 months and give us a chance to return to a safe, normal life again, where we can once again contribute positively to society.
I understand that this is a challenging time for everyone right now, but please do not underestimate what even £5 can contribute to especially when it all adds up. It really does make a huge difference. No matter how small the contribution it can still change our entire lives.
Thank you for taking the time to read our story, your support means the world to us. Whether it is simply sharing our campaign or donating, it makes all the difference in the world to us. Your act of kindness can bring light to our darkest days and help us build a better future.
Thank you once again for all your support and kindness
With heartfelt gratitude,
Sanaa and Sujood
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ahmed-gaza1 · 2 months ago
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Dear generous supporters,🙏🇵🇸🍉
Please help me to rebuild my life again
I am writing this with full hope to find people with kind hearts to help and support to regain my physical ability to walk and work again.
My name is Ahmed Al Yazji. I am 20 years old living in Gaza and in need for urgent medical treatment after being dangerously injured by a recent Israeli airstrike.
On Nov 11, 2023, I was at home staying peacefully with my family when an air strike hit the house causing severe damage to the building and serious injury to my neck.
The medical images show part of a rocket still present in my neck which according to the report will potentially cause me complete paralysis if not removed.
Unfortunately, it is not possible to do the needed surgery in Gaza due to lack of medical expertise, the damaged hospitals and equipment caused by the war.
Before the war, I was working and taking care of my family and being responsible for the financial expenses.
Now with my injury, I am not physically capable of working which has been causing extreme hardship to my family who is now facing inevitable hunger and escalating health issues.
I am running this fundraiser to ask for donations to help me do a neck surgery out of Gaza so that i can gain back my physical abilities to walk and work to feed my family. Part of the donations will be also used to maintain our house that was severely impacted by the strike.
With your power and your support I hope that I can rebuild my life again soon.
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enchanted-moura · 3 months ago
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Pick a Dior Serum - How to find more inner peace?
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Pile 1 - Plump Filler
Despair, poverty, sadness and hardship may have been something you've been experiencing for some time. You are only going to get out of this situation. The answer to a healing and slowly rebuilding is to tap into your magical side! Stop thinking that this reality is the only or even the one that has all the power, it is not. Sometimes our blockages and pain and come from such a deep internal place that all we can do is go to the root. Before you start casting spells of curiosity and enchantment, research spiritual work for healing, rebuilding self & coming out of dark situations. Painful situations and thoughts have to be replaced with beautiful and abundant ones. Have a look through this page for plenty of ways to add abundance to your life🛍️
Pile 2 - Glow Booster
You may have many fake friends and sneaky allies who may be disrupting your dazzling gorgeous lucky and abundant energy. You are my unique pile, intriguing, and alluring and that draws both beneficial and toxic people like moths to a flame. You have to be cautious of who you keep around you and why. What do you let influence you? What do you let have the final say in your life? Why are randoms more important to you than you? Check out my salt cleansing bath to get rid of all that energetic heaviness off your aura once you commit to getting rid of the junk! You can do this cleansing shower or bath surrounded by candles and listening to serene music, letting the stress wash away 🛁🎶
Pile 3 - Matte Maximizer
You are a sensual being! You are in a position where you are highly desired, coveted and wanted. You just have to believe it and start each and everyday with the notion that you are the most beautiful being ever! You shine the brightest,your vibrant energy is infectious and makes everyone around you feel like they're part of your fabulous, glittering world. So be sure to let yourself shine and paint the world with your unique glitz and glam! 💖
Pile 4 - Lift Sculptor
You may be at a crossroads in your love life juggling options, choices and love styles and preferences. This may be causing unnecessary stress so its time to make a decision. Love and Lust and Desire are all related so if you do not want something bad enough, you simply do not desire it and you cannot force chemistry, desire or even love. Tap into your inner Erotic Goddess and ask her what she desires from her relationships right now. Did she want to explore rotation dating? She looking for a sugar daddy? She wants to commit to a long term relationship? Is she ready for Marriage. Let go of the moralistic judgement and just feel. reflect, dream big, and sprinkle a little more clear love in your life. 🌌💖
Pile 5 - Redness Soother
My money pile, my investor barbies and future millionaires are listening to this. In the same way other piles may stress about friends and love, I feel that your financial life is causing a headache and great distress. You're glamorous af, your ideal closets are stocked with the latest bikinis, lace tops, chic skirts and couture, you desire for your home to have floating crystal chandeliers & fluffy plush carpets. You can have it all but you have to be cautious of your spending habits as well as certain career choices. Are you in the most optimal field for your financial well-being but also mental health? Are you happy in your line of work? Do you have any concrete tangible plans for your prosperity or just pipe dreams. Journal about this and see what you feel 💎👠
More pick a cards available on patreon - https://www.patreon.com/missCordoba 💗
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ganondoodle · 6 months ago
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( totk rant?)
i have talked alot about my problems with totk in detail, as most of you probably know by now- but there really is a vibe of big ambitions but then not committing to it throughout the game
they want to have that building mechanic in it no matter what in a world that isnt in any way build around it, mister "freedom = good, linear = bad" guy wanting to give you ultimate freedom in the game (which imo leads to it being nothing again) but not committing to it and it creates a really toxic loop of things being more punishing than rewarding
you can build a fuckton of weird vehicles, but big parts, ESPECIALLY the glider, is on limited time so you cant actually go anywhere you want; they know giving you absolut freedom will remove any possible challenge- so they limit it by making the glider part timed, but then they cant do that for every single part bc it would be almost impossible to create anything that works well when every part is on a timer and you dont know how much of its lifespan is left bc you accidentally hit a fan once so now its uneven with the other one AND the more parts you have the more it uses battery, it makes sense, so you cant build soemthign super overpowered right at the start and its just kinda logical, but it leads to you being incentivised to build something with the fewest parts that dont have a timer-
then theres the battery power, which they try to limit by putting its upgrades behind multiple different currency exchanges, which is frustrating and leads to alot of grinding and gets overpowered really fast (it works against itself too that said currencies are all placed in the most undeveleoped and repetetive area of the game and are all never involved in anything interesting, its reused old enemy camps and the same mines everywhere, theres not a single reward in the underground that actually feels rewarding imo)
then you get the autobuild thing, so you can skip the building part of the building mechanic that is the main selling point of tha darn game, bc they know it can get frustrating to rebuild your things over and over so they give you a skip button for that if you are one of those players that doesnt like it BUT THEN they cant jsut let you do it for free so they give it a price, either spend the same currency you need for the exchange for the one you need for battery upgrades or spend parts you collected- both of which are things players generally save up and refuse to use (like the -never use any health potions bc what if i need it more at some point- thing is a problem for a reason)
then theres the added thing of the building stuff despawning incredibly quickly, im gonna guess its otherwise a performance problem (that the game is already struggling hard with) but it makes the entire already bad loop of trying to fix a problem with bandaids over and over even worse, you dont want to go too far away from your vehicles bc it will despawn and waste all that you used to build it, its like a leash to you stopping you from actually using it for more freedom- and potentially adds another annyoance bc you might try to bring it with you as far as you can, a monster truck in the depths you spend all your parts on gets stuck on the first bits of terrain you run into and you desperately try to get it out without destroying it, and if you cant you need to spend a ton of resources to build it again, even with autobuild
which is how you get the hoverbike, stupidly overpowered and boring but doing anything else is just less efficient in every way, it uses the least amount of battery, never breaks, is only 3 parts to rebuild
(i know me in particular doesnt enjoy the building in totk at all, for all those reasons and more ...... shiekah ........ and i know you CAN still choose to doing it more creatively, but you never need to, its entirely based around YOU making it fun for yourself, and i dont think its that controverisal to say a game should be fun and challenging without you having to create all the fun yourself and set yourself limit it all yourself)
similar goes for the dungeons, they heard you want the dungeons of old times back, but their strict adherance to freedom (which they themsleves contradict) leads to them being more breakable and less dungeony than even the titans in botw, they cant make it linear, thats BAD, so you can do any puzzle in any order, it cant build on any of the others bc you need to be able to do it when you want (the only one going slightly against that is the lightning one? maybe?), totks dungeons dont even limit that you cant climb them (even the titans in botw recognized that makign it easy to break so they are made of the same unclimbable material like the shrines and other shiekah tech) and the new abilities make them laughably easy to break ( .. im not even gonna mention the water temple one bc ... you dont even need to do anything there to break it to make it easier)
they wanted to cater to people wanting old dungeons, but didnt commit to it, making them WORSE dungeons than the titans with the only bonus being they got different designs and a longer build up to it (that often feels more like artificial filler than actually part of it ... like the missing lore tablet at the zoras and the missing part is a few steps away from it at best)
(ALL THE WHILE they DO limit you in SHRINES, you cant climb the walls again, for some reason, you can climb any other sonau structure though, why not that? idk, but dont limit it enough either bc you can break it all in really cheap and unsatisfying ways with ultrahand and time reversal alone- and they CANT limit those bc those abilities are the main ways to solve the 'puzzles'- botws abilities were .. well, limited in what they could do making them much more balanced, but moving sth with ultrahand and then stepping on it and time reversing it can be the boring solution to any 'puzzle', the best and only really good shrines are the ones that take all you shit bc it wactually forces you to be creative BC ITS LIMITING YOU)
(funnily enough a big possible reason why they removed the bombs from botw is bc of the glitches with it ...... like the new stuff isnt even worse and you dont even have to try lol)
people speculated on there being underground exploration due to the first trailer? people are worried about reusing the surface? ok they put the entirety of the surface map into the game again, but dont commit to it being a full thing, its horribly underdeveloped and filled with either nothing or reused filler material, while also neglecting changing anything substantial about the surface, and then the sky isalnds they even reduced and really there isnt anything of substance on there either besides the tutorial (hey, seriously, if one of botws most defining feature is its wide and empty sky why the hell would you decide to use that same map to put in your sky islands idea in), not commiting to one idea but doing all of them badly
ganondorf? well, they sure put him in there, but really what does he do? fuck all, the entire actual game hes jsut marinating in his own miasma juice for no reason, he doesnt have any presecne in the game, all he gets its a few scenes in the "story" that are told through memory cutscenes in a stupidly mega distant past i dont give a fuck about and all he does is go through the most stereotypical villain checklist of both actions and speech, they want ganondorf in there but dont commit to him ACTUALLY being there (listen i love ganondorf but really calamtiy ganon was more interesting than totk ganondorf ok im SORRY they did him so dirty)
they want dragon zelda and link 'losing' his arm be a big epic sacrifice but then .. again, dont commit to it, they tell you its oooh so irreversible and whatever and then at the end just fukcing reverse it, with no build up at all, and NONE of your own input, it just happens, and its not JUST zelda but also links arm, reversing it BOTH even and you dont even need to have all shrines (that are supposedly to cleanse your arm of miasma, i guess thats a non problem if you just stab the source of it to death instead)
they want it to be a sequel but also its own game, not committing to either and leaving us with this weird .... more alternative universe thing, vague references to botw but also acting like it never happened, slight changes, like zeldas hair, to make her seem different when shes exactly the same (you cant imply waifu zelda would ever age and not look like a little doll) and ignoring anything about her character from botw (no im serious, ooh shes nerdy for 3 minutes at the start and one time in a written thing from some servant of da royals in the past and thats it, interest in the shiekah? whos shiekah?- if anything her character is reversed, really having even less agency than in botw, that one decision to dragon is like, it really doesnt matter and not really her decision bc she didnt have a choice and it gets reversed anyway without her even remembering)
even retreading all of botws points (but doing it worse imo), but then attempting to differentiate itself from it by removing a big thing that made it what it is (shiekah) without giving it any or any sensible explanation among more, not committing to either sequel or AU and so doing both incredibly badly
(not quite the point but what i have been questioning for a while ... they way raurus abilities work ... so do all sonau have those? was it just a normal thing to have? could all sonau just glue shit together and jump through ceilings? he never uses anything of that when we see him? why is it just in the shrines at the start and its like .. he just gives it to you ...?? huh??is it part of his arm .. jewelry??)
(anyway, tin foil hat moment but it just feels like either there was a huge internal fight about everything or they neglected it in favor for something else, like say, a movie that earns them billions and is faster and cheaper to make than a game... or just dont care anymore i guess, idk which is worse tbh)
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zaidayyad · 29 days ago
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I live in Gaza City, and I am 75 years old. I lost my husband 30 years ago and have three sons. I suffer from chronic heart disease and osteoarthritis in my feet. Because of my hard work, I also developed a hernia that makes it difficult for me to move. My children and I lived in safety and security We were self-sufficient through small projects I managed, such as planting trees and plants and raising poultry and rabbits. But the war caused the destruction and sabotage of these projects. Our house was burned and then destroyed due to random bombing, which caused us to lose all our memories and dreams. We lost our home and our source of livelihood, and we are now living a difficult life due to the current conditions and lack of security, such as the lack of water and difficulty obtaining it, power outages, and the inability to buy clothes and food due to high prices.
Wes are now living in a tent under harsh conditions with a lack of basic necessities for life. As winter approaches, life will become more miserable due to the lack of sanitation, leading to rising water levels in the roads, especially in the area where we live. We are having difficulty providing the necessary medications for my condition, which has led to the deterioration of my health. As a result of drinking contaminated water, we become infected with hepatitis, because we constantly eat canned foods and live in unsanitary conditions. Due to our frequent movement and the lack of space to accommodate the displaced in safe areas, we now live near sewage water and suffer from insects and reptiles.
Due to the lack of a stable income, I cannot afford the high prices or rebuild our destroyed house and restart my farming and poultry farming projects. Asking for help was not easy, but it became the only option to save my family. Therefore, I address everyone who has a heart and compassion I appeal to the kind hearts in this world to help us rebuild our home and provide us with a source of income so that we can be a productive family capable of meeting our basic needs.🇵🇸
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sunny-day-jack-official · 9 months ago
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So! The demo is finally out! Or, a bit of it is. What’s next?
Let’s run over a few questions, so hopefully everyone is in the loop!
Q: Why is it only a little bit after so long?
A: Development has been all over the place and a big reason is just how difficult it can be to mediate between artists, programmers, writers, etc.. Mental and physical health, personal emergencies, etc.. are also a big part of this— and it wasn’t anticipated that this would eat up so much time.
The original game was planned to have Sauce (presently speaking!) handling a large majority of tasks all at once. So— when health stalled, production stalled.
Of course, healing took a bit of time to. And even now, that’s why so much of the demo is left unfinished. Overall— it wasn’t possible to complete the demo in the same amount of time the original demo was completed because realistically speaking— that was extremely unhealthy and rushed.
Because of that tight deadline, 48 hours to a week, many significant errors or retconned elements made their way into the game. A huge toll was taken that resulted in extreme burnout after. Quality (as can be seen in the CGs) suffered. An emphasis on quality is currently being prioritized, but I can safely say that I am no longer able to work at my original 2021-2022 pace.
Q: Why are you (Sauce) working alone?
A: At this point in time— we had spent a while working on the GUI and design/function of the game. It is, after all, set to have some pretty hefty features.
Translation and dub settings
Censorship and Softcore modes
A VERY LARGE story map with several endings
An additional “one-shot” story mode wherein every ending you unlock, you then unlock additional content
That takes a lot more planning than we’d anticipated.
How do we make this efficiently run on most systems?
Are we able to make sure that the size of this game is compatible with older devices?
Are the assets optimized? ( A lot of time has gone into re-drawing and working out sprite systems )
What settings are accessibility necessary for impaired players? How do we implement those options?
How do we design a stylish and efficient system?
That was something we had figured originally would be pretty easy to work out! But multiple people here are wearing multiple hats.
The rest of the team is actively working on those portions. But at the moment— we’ve decided to shelve literal art development and scripting (which was where we were hovering for a while) until we got the programming bits truly sorted out.
That leaves little old me! While they worked on this, I’ve been spending time making sure we could serve you a sample of what’s to come. My job is doling out a taste of the narrative, style, etc.. That way, once they’re finished, we can consider any feedback in the implementation of these portions of the game in the final, official build.
Hopefully that makes sense! TL;DR - Everyone’s busy making the important program my bits and designing the menus. So I’ve stepped away to work on this so you all have something to see in the meantime!
Q: Why are you REBUILDING THE DEMO?
A: The old demo— you’d think it would be easy to patch up. But it’s literally the very first build, sized up and fixed and stitched over. Unfortunately it was an unoptimized mess, even for what it was.
Hopefully a cleaner, more organized build will allow for better gameplay. But the key factor is just a desire for better quality!
Q: How often will you be uploading new additions?
A: Until all the bugs are fixed and the whole demo is rebuilt. This should be every week or so until then. Once it’s all done, the demo will see a re-release publicly!
In the meantime, please keep in mind bugs may be aplenty— and I personally apologize for this. Demos released are intended to show proof of work— but they may not be the best, most fun experience for narrative-seeking players. It’s advised immersion-prioritizing players wait until the build is fully finished and christened on our steam page!
Q: Will there be Mac support?
A: I will absolutely try!
Hopefully that helps give a bit more insight. Unfortunately it’s difficult to articulate everything that’s going on, but we’ll do our best! We’d like to have someone more verbally gifted helping us to write these posts, but until we decide how to go about that, you’re stuck with me.
We’ll do the best we can to answer any questions as clearly as possible. And again— we thank you all for your patience.
Making SDJ was clearly a messier experience than we had considered. It’s been a rollercoaster— and as Sauce speaking, I can actually attribute most of the delays to my own personal health and absence.
That— I am sorry for.
The rest of the team is working very hard to put something together that’s quality. I can promise with my whole heart that they’re doing their best. We’re all just people passionate about this project, and no matter the weather I don’t think it’s ever not on our minds.
I look forwards to putting out a large Kickstarter update soon, detailing our work and more! And I’m excited to open the airways for more and more communication.
But for now— we’ll see you next bug-fixing update.
- Sauce
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findmeinthefallair · 2 years ago
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It's me again. The therapist/illustrator who can't stop squeaking and screaming about her beloved son Hunter.
I've been thinking nonstop about him finding the terrible grimwalker graveyard, imagining what would be going through my mind if I were him. Sifting through whatever moments, dialogue and frames that I can find from the existing material, along with references outside of the show, to formulate what an offscreen scene would've been like.. (And seeing if I can find editable and salvageable enough backgrounds so I could perhaps even depict this scene one day)
A soul like him who not only wants to help others, but also acquire knowledge:
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heading back here to see the graveyard:
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You can't tell me that this wouldn't still be on his mind, and he's even anxious while saying this below, scratching his face a little:
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Whether he follows up on this or not, also depends on how he looks back on being shown this:
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And is he just going to go cold turkey and totally drop these leads he was pursuing in the episodes before the finale? :
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Three things prompted me to finally write this post:
@polyhexian's and @ashanimus's analyses of Hunter's fight scenes in Hunting Palismen and Eclipse Lake (links here and here, they're really cool to read!!), based on their years of experience with martial arts. Reading those was a revelation to me because learning about how high Hunter's skill level is, how in touch with his body he is by default, portrayed so well thanks to the crew...that allows me to make far more educated guesses about his mental health in the early stages of the pre-epilogue gap of about 4 years. Because he is so used to high activity and being on high alert, no thanks to having C-PTSD.
Observing how light and free Hunter's expressions are, and how transformed his demeanor became, in the epilogue sequence. That transformation is an indication to me of the magnitude of grief which had to be transformed within him. To be put back together, in order to be so radiant, generous and self-actualized in the epilogue...imagine how much had to be deconstructed and further broken beforehand. He wouldn't have room to fill his life up with all that amazing newness if the old isn't emptied out first.
This psychoeducational video by my fave author, also a practicing therapist, who specializes in traumatic grief: link. Hearing her address the topic of entering the second year after a bereavement vs. the first year, was interesting. Definitely confirms to me that Hunter wouldn't have carved Waffles until past the 2nd year of navigating his bereavement.
In the years that pass before the epilogue, Hunter will not be able to understand why the efforts he puts into all the rebuilding work, coordinating and leading others, and trying to have fun - only cycle back to him experiencing a mix of a restlessness and emptiness in the deepest layer of his mind. It'll exhaust his energy bit by bit. I bet he's going to generally look as tired as depressed Luz does below, even if he's had an acceptable hours of sleep per night:
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That restlessness will be an awful psychological itch that he'll be unable to scratch, caused by losing Flapjack and now also Belos. This is the same as what happened with his anger in For the Future, except Belos was still alive back then. It will be harder to understand and messier to navigate the bereavement this time round. It'll be something gnawing into his soul which I really think only professional help can heal, especially since the show promotes that it's okay to not be okay, and more than okay to seek professional help (Steve and Lilith's conversation in Edge of the World).
He will be trying to claw his way out of that C-PTSD pit, but he'll be aware deep down that he simply cannot reach any emotional high points for long, and something will be blocking his feelings of connection with his loved ones. He won't feel nearly as free and easy the way he used to be in the human realm:
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Having a routine like he used to in the Castle, and moving around a lot, was what helped him survive. However, he won't have the awareness that the shift resulting from Belos passing away has been at such a fundamental level: to the point that those old, supposedly tried-and-true methods no longer serve him in any positive way. At least, not until his mental health will be back in better shape.
As he puts in more and more effort to escape that restless emptiness, getting annoyed at himself because he doesn't know what's going on...he'll use up the rest of his strength and eventually crash. That itch won't be solved by going back to overworking tendencies, and like how it is with addiction cycles, he would need some kind of fix for the deep restlessness within. The answer? Productivity to feel useful, which we have seen even in his efforts to fix damaged clothing and well, making stuff in general.
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Where the grimwalker graveyard comes in is...once he hears news about its existence, he will stubbornly insist to want to help in investigating it, saying he has already read a bunch of books about them, and can be useful, etc. Worse, if his offer to help to investigate is refused, he will do what he did in Eclipse Lake. Go to the location anyway, to fill that deep void within.
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Old habits die hard.
I don't know if he may hear from King (who he'll be seeing fairly often, I think!), The Collector or even Kikimora about it. Since they were the three characters who went all the way down there in King's Tide, and The Collector already knew about these horrors for literal centuries. King and The Collector are also still young kids! Will they have the sensitivity and awareness about breaking this news to Hunter?!
On the other hand, I don't know how the timing will be with Darius, Raine and Eberwolf..Darius will want to get serious about investigating his mentor's disappearance. Once the searching and scouring extends to the location of the Head of the Titan, they will find the evidence staring them in the face. If they want to scour every inch of the Isles, there's also a high chance they'll find the godforsaken grimwalker lab.
Worst of all, Darius would be aware by then of how much Hunter loves to help out in operations like this to be productive. At the same time, Darius's own grief will surface even more, I'm not sure he'll be able to hide that, and Hunter is highly observant. If Darius is trying to hide his own priority of finding closure re: his mentor, I think Hunter will sense that.
Therefore I wonder if this will happen except it's Hunter with Darius:
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and then this poor beloved skrunkly son of mine, who so famously said these words at the beginning of his arc:
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is probably going to get reckless, and endanger his mental health...not unlike moments like this:
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by venturing to the graveyard, whether stealthily or accompanying the grownups, because he'll rationalize it as "getting closure" and once again "being useful". Remember how used he is to moving around so much and being active, combined with growing up isolated so that asking for help can still be a foreign concept to him. He would be anxious about grinding to a halt, and he'd want to be on the move instead.
He may demand to see the graveyard, and holy Titan I'm not sure any dilemma will be as tricky for Camila and Darius to navigate as this one. Because preventing him from seeing something he already knows exists is, in a very twisted way, also an unhelpful form of avoidance. Avoidance is a hallmark criterion for diagnosing both PTSD and C-PTSD.
How far do they go in protecting him from himself? Where do they draw that line? They might reach a compromise where Camila and Darius accompany him there. Once he sees it, it'll hit harder than this:
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Letting him see it means his new parents would have to fall with him, in the sense that they follow him to that emotional place: but while he figuratively does not have a safety harness when falling into this deep dark hole, Camila and Darius are equipped with harnesses a.k.a. higher maturity, less of a trauma history, and some tools to help him get better, navigate the trauma, and manage his symptoms.
Camila will have the warmth and sensitivity to catch and meet him as he falls (she interacts with animals in her profession, who don't have the capacity for human language, in a similar way to how serious trauma can't even be put into words at times: it makes you voiceless). Darius's shared past living in the Castle and grieving over his mentor will help Hunter not feel as alone once he has seen these horrors.
And because his heart generally became more open to receiving love and support,
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I doubt he'll close himself off almost completely, the way he did in the first two-thirds of For the Future (god, remember these deleted storyboards??):
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It wouldn't surprise me if he weeps and panics as soon as he sees the graveyard, and his parents give him maximum support through that breakdown. As complicated as it would be for Camila and Darius to give in to his desire to see the graveyard, a response like this from him - a child seeking attachment with proper timing - is a good sign of growing into healthy attachment with parental figures.
It is an arguably better response than one of the hardest aspects of C-PTSD: where the outpouring of grief only happens after a delay, sometimes a significant delay, at very inconvenient or strange times. Hell...if I were Hunter, I'd probably want Camila and Darius to just hold me close in wordless silence for half an hour until my initial distress and shock passes.
If I use King - a child who is securely attached to Eda, who's definitely had a more stable upbringing - as a control experiment here, he could have the appropriate response immediately in Echoes of the Past and expressed his emotional needs clearly enough:
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Whereas this is what Hunter has to now learn, at twice King's age, as he settles in with new parents who take care of him instead of mistreating him the way Belos did. Hell, I can't imagine what kind of Belos punishment awaited him if he cried to demand attachment.
(I need to use more King scenes as a comparison to Hunter's upbringing in my next metas! I realize this can make my explanations clearer)
Anyway, what may happen next after he can't unsee the graveyard is...Hunter will then swing to the other extreme of high activity. I.e. being passive, physically inactive and psychologically crashing into depression, which may translate into habits such as oversleeping (catching up on all that lost sleep...but at what cost?). Supposedly sliding deeper into the C-PTSD pit. A place from which he has to express the desire to seek the forms of help he needs.
Remember that this kid has only known extremes for most of his life. Until he settles in properly with his found family and attends therapy, he has no clear reference point for more balanced approaches in living.
The trauma he went through is a quadruple whammy for a 16-year-old who just survived growing up in a cult. It would be so much. I can't see him not falling into months of deep dark depression, as unfortunate as this sounds.
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Grieving over Flapjack, grieving over Belos, over his childhood/upbringing, and now a grisly memory of his predecessors who didn't make it (to add to what he saw in Belos's mindscape). I simply cannot see him handling a load like this without a highly-equipped and sensitive professional, paired with his support network of family, friends and even possibly the wider community at times. Especially now that we've seen him in action during the epilogue.
The epilogue sequence would've had a different feel (and in my opinion, a not-so-good feel) for me if Dana had established that the grimwalker graveyard was still untouched after those 3.5-4 years and if Hunter never found out about it. Something like that is different compared to Dana mentioning in the recent Post-Hoot that in the he does not know about Caleb and Evelyn, or that he is related to the Clawthornes. Mysteries like the Clawthorne heritage can remain an eerie secret that only us in the audience know about, but I wouldn't feel comfy if this were the case for the graveyard as well.
To quote @idlescree's video essay about Hunter's death (link), the show's writers didn't pull any punches when it came to Hunter's development arc. Which means they had to take his story to the "categorically appropriate place for him to overcome" his greatest challenges.
Something tells me that with respect to the grimwalker graveyard and the avoidance theme in C-PTSD recovery, Hunter would've had to put in more work to confront a number of terrifying foes even beyond his Thanks to Them speech. One of which was the graveyard containing the remains of his predecessors.
PS: This is a spontaneous post which branches out from my giant post-finale meta (link) that I pinned to my blog, I suppose.
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chainofclovers · 3 months ago
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I think there’s too much on my mind in just about every category of life because trying to do my work is even more challenging than usual. My work is going fine, but I swear to god I’ll be setting out to do a task that involves checking an email for a link I needed, and then I’ll end up replying to a totally different email, and then that’ll set off a chain of 8 other things I have to write down or otherwise take care of, and I’ll be able to force myself to do maybe 3 of those, and then I look back at my other monitor and realize I still didn’t fucking get that original link. So then I get the link, I do the task. Whew, that’s done. But actually I was just doing that one very specific task so I could procrastinate on a larger, more challenging thing that I literally need to be ready to discuss with my boss in 3 hours, half an hour of which will be taken up with a meeting that could absolutely be an email, and all the time I spent doing these more minor work things while also getting distracted by the rest of my life means I really just screwed myself over.
It’s possible, of course, that this is yet another manifestation of undiagnosed ADHD or whatever. I respect those diagnoses, I respect how real ADHD is, I’ve personally never felt the need to seek anything specific w/r/t that condition…and I also wonder if I’m just too keen to distract myself even from actually sitting down and thinking about all that more seriously LOL.
And the rest of life? My marriage, my friends, my family, all the intricacies there, the very welcome obligations that nonetheless require time and thought. The election. Global conflicts/feeling sick over it. Busyness with volunteering, some of which I do both because I love it and because it feels like a carbon offset of some of the most destructive things related to corporate job. Fandom stuff (I’m still processing how I’m both excited and wary of what an s4 Ted Lasso experience will be like, and trying to actually READ INFORMATION about this “developing story” of the options being picked up and what that actually means), which as always is a source of both creative fun and community and also means exposure to some drama and bullshit, which could skitter off into a million distracting thoughts about whether my own levels of sensitivity, my relationship to my own logic, etc. are within a reasonable range for me. Health stuff, mine and others, although (thankfully!) nothing currently threatening the ability of my loved ones to stay alive. Nursing hurt feelings and the humiliation and obsessive self-questioning that always accompanies any sort of rejection, no matter how much I intellectually get it.
I always feel like I have stretches of months where things are largely going very well, my default is happiness, and then anything negative feels more like an additive, something to process, something I can accommodate because of the calm center of my foundation. And then there are little stretches like this one where my anxiety and distractability have leeched into the foundation and I have to figure out how to rebuild it. (And the weirdness of knowing that feeling sometimes lasts only a few days, sometimes much longer.)
My life is so charmed and so simple and so complicated and so privileged and so exhausting and I should really finish up this deck since I now have only 2.5 hours until I need to have something concrete for my boss.
TL;DR has anyone on this planet figured out the relationship between situational depression/anxiety and the rest of their life? 😆
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gdbatbitch · 1 year ago
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Life isn’t fair. We all know that. You can always do the right thing and try to be the best person you can be and some random force of nature can just knock down everything you’ve built. And all you can really do is just try to keep going and keep rebuilding. 
Ok, we’ve got a buffer paragraph in there? Great. Cause I’m about to be a bummer. 
So I had a biopsy on my thyroid earlier this week, because I’ve had a noticeable growth on my thyroid for some time now. I got a call from the doctor yesterday and she confirmed that it is cancer. 
So that changes things quite a bit. It’s also just incredibly shitty timing. In the last couple of months I’ve been homeless, ill, and now this. I’m just so overwhelmed with it all. I’m just one person, and I feel like I’ve had a decade of impossible situations dumped on me all at once.
And of course this is going to impact my finances even more. I’m already chronically ill. I still have diabetes and nerve issues and mental health issues and a vengeful uterus and all that. All that is expensive enough on its own. And this on top of everything else. 
I’m just trying to live. That’s all. I want to have my little apartment and work my day job and my art job and just have a peaceful existence. It just seems like I’m always fighting uphill in a mudslide. But I’ve got medical bills up to my ears and the rent’s late and bills are due and I’ve just been blindsided by the fact that I have cancer.
So here’s the link again. Please share, donate, and try to send me some positive thoughts.
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cloveroctobers · 9 months ago
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FEBRUARY FLUFF — JUAN “JUICE” ORTIZ.
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A/N: Juice was always my man when it came to SOA and I’ll forever be traumatized and bitter over his storyline + how he was treated. That’s probably one of the reasons why I’ll never do a rewatch tbfh. In my mind he’s thriving and I’ve always wanted happiness for him and that’s what he’s gonna get here! Also my first time ever writing for this man so go easy on me although this is more HC (my version) form. Have a happy love day whether it’s with a significant other, family, friends, or just yourself! know that you’re always worthy and capable of receiving and giving love and not just on this one day of the year 🩷🫡
PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + I’m using: 19. "can i see your hand?" / "sure, why?" / "so i can see how well it fits with mine." + 35. "let's take a stupid walk for our stupid mental health!"
જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩
When you got word from your mother that Juan was back in town for good, you had to see so for yourself.
January’s always been gloomy but when you came face to face with the man you haven’t seen in years at the front door of his mother’s, you wanted to collapse but managed to keep your composure.
Juan’s sad but somewhat still warm eyes are unsure at first, taking in your facial expression but you clear his concerns as you’re yanking him tightly to your body in a tender embrace.
And he feels like he might just break down himself in your arms.
You were just what he needed.
The both of you had to make up for lost time and Juan had to keep convincing you that he wasn’t going anywhere.
Things didn’t work out in his favor in California (little did you know, he barely made it out alive) and Juan never wanted you to visit, although your older brother and his girlfriend, Saskia lived out there—which means you took trips but in a sense you learned to accept that was Juan’s way of protecting you from the demons that latched onto his soul.
You couldn’t take it personally since Ms. Hilda, his mother never visited either but spoke to him every couple of months—which may have been hard or if not harder for her.
Although the both of your mother’s were good friends that didn’t mean the both of you didn’t have your share of childhood trauma’s (because of them) that bled into your adulthood.
Nonetheless the both of you spent a month reconnecting, taking each day by day as it took to rebuild a friendship.
It felt right having Juan back in your life and he can honestly say the same.
“I never knew how much I missed you until I saw your face again,” he said to you over the phone one night.
Juan’s always been a sweetheart and never had an issue expressing his love for you to the point many kids back in school questioned if you were dating.
It never happened but that didn’t mean Juan didn’t want it to yet you found yourself in a few relationships here and there. Which was brought up by your mother during a birthday dinner for your brother (who was visiting) that February.
“I find it hard to believe that you’re still single. I mean hell, when is anybody going to give me a grandchild?” Your mother chatted over a glass of Cabernet playfully glaring at your brother who cleared his throat before setting her eyes back on you, “You know I saw Marlon just the other day?”
You fought the urge to roll your eyes at this. You’ve only been at the table for ten minutes, supposedly going over the menu and yet here your mother was worrying about children and your love life.
And she just had to bring your college ex into it.
“Really,” you gave faux interest as you viewed the entrees.
“Mhm. He’s been divorced for a few years now and he’s single. I even showed him a picture of you to see if he remembered you. He laughed about it and said he thought you were with Juan now.”
Your brother is coughing now on his own drink and his girlfriend of four years is patting him on the back.
Glancing to your right you stare at Juan rubbing at his face in thought, who mentally seemed to be having a tough day today. He stayed at your house last night and apologized over breakfast about how he got into these dark moods.
You assured him that he didn’t have to apologize for his feelings. Asking if he wanted to be your plus one tonight, only if it was up for it.
He’d push through it for you because he was devoted to being near you as much as possible since he didn’t want to lose anymore time with his best friend.
How would Marlon assume this? You’re turning back to your mother now, furrowed brows while you reply, “why did he think that?”
“He said he saw the both of you running around the park together. He wanted to say hi but you and Juan seemed to be racing and he didn’t want to interrupt.” Your mother informs, staring at you two underneath her eyelashes with her lips moving back to the rim of her glass.
This didn’t make you feel any sort of way because you also haven’t seen Marlon in years either. You weren’t really checking for him but—the breakup didnt turn sour—it was mutual! however it was interesting to see different perspectives on how people viewed you and Juan.
Juan was gone from New York by the time you both reached your early twenties and by then you were still with Marlon. Juan would visit up at school and hung out with you two a couple of times! even when Marlon tried to put him onto some college girls…there was a part of Juan that felt like he was guilty of something.
Even when he engaged in activities—sure it may have felt great in the moment but he always ended up feeling like shit since he wanted it to be you.
So yes you were part of the reason why he got out of New York and to find a better sense of direction for himself.
You’re shrugging your shoulders redirecting the conversation, “well..I’m sorry things didn’t work out with his wife.”
“Are you?”
“Mom! Chill.” Your brother stepped in which you were somewhat thankful for. Why were you always getting shit on when you knew it was on the tip of your mother’s tongue that your brother “should” be thinking about marriage since she hinted at you once before during your girl’s day.
Although you and your dad both were aware that your brother didn’t want to get married.
“I’m just saying you should think about it or what about that guy from high school? The funny looking one.”
“They were both goofy to me. Especially Stu.” Your brother snorted while you shielded your middle finger from your mother to direct at your sibling.
Your first boyfriend was senior year and he cheated on you with a redhead because he got dumped prior to asking you out. It made sense to him but definitely not to you.
Yeah that’s highschool stupidity for you!
Juan shuddered at the mention of your first boyfriend, “man that guy? He was ridiculously obnoxious in and outside of class and hung out with that other guy…the one who gave me serious serial killer vibes.”
“You did always say that,” you laughed to yourself and couldn’t deny it. You never wanted to be alone with Stu’s best friend at the time, the way his dark eyes bored into yours always made you feel uneasy.
“He’s harmless!” Stu would persuade you before always leaving you with him for at least a minute or two.
Your mother pried, “Well where is he now?”
“Hell if I know? Probably married to another redhead with three or four kids? Still possibly cheating? What is this, a walk down memory lane?”
Juan could sense you were getting agitated about this and placed his hand right above your knee which made you exhale.
Your mother is raising her hands, “I’m just looking out for you and your brother’s happiness. That’s all.”
“I am happy. Go dig in his business then, it’s his birthday anyway.” You suggested while your mother just scoffed.
Raising your brows, your mother continued knowing that you were always ready to challenge her, “I will but when’s the last time you’ve been in a serious relationship?”
“Are you the expert when it comes to relationships now? You waited six months after the divorce from dad to get married to someone else. You settled for dad’s bullshit for years and now suddenly you want to micromanage what goes on in mine? Are you keeping this same energy with your step kids?”
Your brother is calling your name as a warning now but you couldn’t lie and say you weren’t triggered.
growing up having your mother constantly in your ear saying to you, “you’ll never get a bf because of xyz.” Simply from little stupid things you would do as a pre-teen to teenage years was damaging because you were just an insecure kid not worrying about romantic relationships in the slightest. Although you had a mother who seemed to be more concerned about the male gaze for you.
So what if your room got messy? So what if there were days where you didn’t want to be bothered with your hair? Or was too much in grown folks business when your mother would gossip on the phone about inappropriate subjects right in front of you! while also bringing up all of your business to her friends or family members like some sort of humiliation tactic and then never taking your emotions into account when you voiced your discomfort?
Don’t get it wrong, of course you had love for your mother but you couldn’t erase what was said and done. A list of things that still stuck with you and things that you should perhaps just “let go of,” yet she still felt comfortable to talk about your love life like you were some low self-esteem kid.
You never had that relationship where you felt safe to share anything with your mother because of her critiques.
“Hold on now, I’m just trying to make conversation—
“You don’t need to. Not when it comes with an opinion i never asked for to match.”
Then comes the tears and Saskia is tending to her, whisking your mother away to the bathroom with her crying to Sas about how she, “tries to be a good mother and these are the things she gets.”
“Did you have to do this on my day?” Your brother sighs while your eyes are in slits.
“You and dad are the exact same, always expecting me to just take it. I don’t give a damn if it was Easter, if she’s coming at me then I’m going to let her know. I know she’ll always be mom but she refuses to ever see my side on anything.”
“Why does it have to be about sides? We’re family at the end of the day.”
The famous excuse for it all so it seems!
“And we must always be on some we are the world bullshit too, no matter what huh?”
Juan covers his snort at this, which earns him a look from your brother, leaving Juan to mumble out an apology.
It’s quiet for a moment as your brother tries to figure out how to make this okay but you don’t want to stick around to continue this dinner. In your eyes it felt ruined already.
Only seconds pass when you decide it’s best if you go. You’re on your feet, slipping back into your outerwear before wrapping an arm across your brother’s shoulders squeezing him as you peck his temple.
“Love you, mean it. I’ll take you out myself at another time.” You say as all your older brother can do is nod his head, briefly resting his hand on top of yours before you let go.
You’re peering at Juan who’s still seated and say, “want to take a walk with me?”
“Sure, whatever you want, yeah!” He sits up before grabbing his beanie and jacket, “I don’t care.”
You quickly begin to walk off before your sas and your mom come back, sending a silent message to your old friend that you’ll be outside.
Your brother tells Juan, “look after my sister, okay?”
“You got it,” Juan says, wishing the older man another birthday wish before making his way out to you.
The both of you are now walking side by side, enjoying the city’s lights and each other’s company.
“Thanks for coming with me. The longer I sat there getting into it with my mom the faster my brain was telling me to get the fuck out. I figured: let's take a stupid walk for our stupid mental health!"
Juan chuckles at this, “I know what you mean. I also had a disagreement with my sister too before I crashed at yours.”
That revealed just a dash about what led to Juan’s mood last night.
“Yeah?” Your eyes peep to the left of you at the beanie-wearing man, “You want to talk about it?”
It wasn’t much different with what went down with you and yours. Except Juan’s mother was the one to break it up and scold him for defending himself against his sister.
She still felt like he didn’t have himself together (despite the fact that he was now working at a mechanic shop and had a side tech gig at an outlet mall—paid under the table now! If you’re talking about his mental then that was a different story!) either and was the main one who told him not to go out to California. She begged him to stay and that began their estrangement.
His sister blamed him for his own unhappiness and if he would have stayed here maybe he wouldn’t have dealt with that darkness charming brought him.
Which hurt to hear.
He walks even closer to you now as he said, “nah, not really if that’s okay?”
“What?” You lightly bumped his shoulder, “Course it is, just know you can when you want to.”
He gives you a lopsided smile, “Thanks.”
You loop an arm around Juan’s waist, resting your head against his shoulder, as you blended into the city together.
Juan’s dreamed of times like these except you were miles apart but hearts still in sync.
The silence between you two lets you know that you’re both holding onto something so heavy but find that it doesn’t weigh as much when you’re both near each other.
By the time you’re making your way back to your side of town, one subway ride later and more miles to walk back to your place—the night feels like any normal routine.
Eventually the both of you fall into chatter and soft smiles as you continue your rest on the subway, head tucked underneath juice’s chin that his facial hair still pricks your thick hair but you don’t mind.
You’re both laughing about old times when you reach your 1975 raised ranch, half standing on the steps and you’re wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes, “you coming in?”
The last thing Juan wanted to do was head back to his ma’s side of town so a dip of his head was all that you needed, sending him a smile and a nudge of your head to welcome him back inside.
“We gotta eat something although you’re really not supposed to eat after seven…”Juan says to you after kicking off his shoes and heading straight from the main entrance pass the living room right to the kitchen.
“I forgot how much of a health freak you are.” You tease, hanging up your coats in the near by closet.
Juan’s mumbling to himself as he moves around the cut off kitchen, “And you need more fruits and veggies in here. What’s the point of having a juicer and having nothing to use it?”
“My common law sister in law? If you believe in that sort of thing! got it for me. It works as decoration,” You argued, “I can just go buy me a fruit or veggie juice.”
“And be wasteful of this beautiful gift?”
“If you want it, I’ll regift it to you for a belated Christmas gift then.” You sass, going to lean in the archway.
Juan shakes his head while he’s eyeing all the ingredients he’s laid out on the counter, “no point in doing that if I’m just going to be over here majority of the time anyway.”
“Oh is that right?”
“I mean…yeah…if you’re comfortable with that.”
You roll your eyes, “I’ll take you for as long as I can have you, Juanie and you know that.”
He casts a smile over his shoulder at you before waving his hand along formally towards the dining room, “have a seat. This won’t be anything extravagant since your selection of food kinda sucks…we’ll talk about that later but I need my work space clear.”
You saluted, “heard chef,” before you walked into the next room over.
Which leaves you to send off a text to your brother letting him know you both made it safe before choosing to browse social media.
The words of your mother did get into your head as you’re sitting here searching up your two exes and you laugh to yourself at how foolish you were being. You haven’t though about either of those two in a long time, not in the same way you thought about Juan nearly every day.
Yet here you were letting your mother get into your head again: about two men that didn’t hold meaning to your life now.
“Bon appetite.” Juan tells you after awhile, placing the plates down on the table and picking the seat right next to you.
“And what do we call this meal?”
“P.O. In 10. Which stands for: party’s over in ten minutes.”
You both stare at each other and let out a laugh, “how clever.”
A struggle meal of: ground turkey on ranch Doritos topped with cheese and left over black olives with a side of strawberry moscato was your dinner for that night and you didn’t dare complain.
Juan’s gone into one of his rapid conversations of one of his old friends, a guy named chibs that he would have loved for you to meet and of course you find it sweet that he still found someone to speak highly of when he’s vaguely told you that all was not well in charming.
“can i see your hand?" You suddenly ask the man who’s grown out his hair and sported facial hair that made him appear older.
Juan’s finishing off the last of his homemade nacho’s, stuffing his face but doesn’t hesistate as he places his smooth veiny but much larger one into yours, “sure, why?"
You’re tracing the lines of his palm and recall the time the both of you went to a palm reader on senior skip day for shits and giggles although Juan seemed to believe every word the lady said.
He said he had a great tía from Puerto Rico that he met once or twice who was very spiritual but different from a palm reader. His mother got pissed off when she brought her work to the house that one time when she was supposed to be looking after him and his sister.
That soon became Juan’s job.
You wondered about how these hands had to scrap their way through just to survive.
Then you explain, “so i can see how well it fits with mine." Before interlacing your right with his and Juan can’t help but to grin at you.
And there’s that boyish smile that spreads to the corners of his eyes that you can’t resist while he speaks with you, “You’re so cute, you’re corny. If you wanted to makeout, all you had to do was just say so.”
You don’t think about it, “alright, maybe I do.”
“What?! Don’t joke like that.” Juan’s eyes are wide now, ready to slip his hand right from yours.
“I’m not.” You lift your shoulders as Juan sits back in the chair with a sigh.
Juan’s staring at you with a curiosity that makes you want to look away but you can’t.
“What if all we needed was to just be honest with ourselves and look at what’s directly in front of us.”
“…I don’t follow.”
“Us, Juan! I always felt like i was waiting for something, even with the others after Stu and Marlon. There was always this pull and maybe that was you…and if this is all in my head just say that. You can tell me.”
Juan rubs at his face in thought. He already knew how he felt about you and how it never went away.
“No…it’s not all in your head. I don’t know if you know this but…you’ve always been it for me and I—learned to be okay with just being your best friend since that’s what you always wanted from me. I thought moving across the country was the answer but that only hurt us more.”
“Part of me felt like you didn’t care who I was with. You just took it for what it was.”
“You’re so wrong,” Juan scoffed out some laughter, “I just wanted you be happy and not be selfish about wishing it was me that got to do everything with you all the time. They took my space.”
You instantly reply, “Never could.”
“No?”
“No, blockhead.” You lightly grip and shake his shoulders.
“Now we’re down to the insults I see.”
You shrug with a smirk, “Let me kiss you…just to see.”
“See what?” Juan felt his heart hammering in his chest now, “That we’re completely in love with each other? A kiss won’t tell me what I don’t already know, babe.”
A scrunch of your nose is present, “Not you sounding like you don’t want to kiss me—
“What—no—
Sighing you got up from the chair and plopped right down in Juan’s lap, wrapping your arms across his shoulders and staring into his eyes that softened as they settled on your close proximity.
“You smell nice,” he awkwardly says, carefully placing his hands right down on your hip.
You laugh as you move your hands to cup his face, lightly caressing your thumbs over his facial hair, looking at his lips and then back to his eyes before you lean forward to place your lips right on his.
His hands tighten around you but his shoulders seem to relax. Juan can’t hold back the moan in the back of his throat that escapes his parted lips but that doesn’t stop him from kissing you back.
There’s tongue in there somewhere in the mix and the hold the both of you have on each other is enough to erase the miles that were once placed between you.
His hooked nose brushes against yours as you pull back, eyes closed and trying to catch your breath. His forehead rests against yours and Juan has to clear his throat and blink several times in hopes of getting rid of the static that sits in the center of his bottom lip.
“Wow,” he exhales with a grin while you’re playing with the strand of curls at the back of his head.
A satisfied smile is on your face, “What was that shit you were talking?”
“I wasn’t talking shit,” Juan frowns, “I was just saying that my heart already knows what it wants without putting my lips on yours. I loved you the moment your mom forced you to be my friend.”
You shake your head with a smile, “that didn’t take much force, Ortiz. I always thought you could be the one.”
“And…you never said anything why? That would have saved us a lot of time!”
You shrug, “I think our love story is meant to start now.”
“Nope it’s been a W.I.P. but now the progress is actually progressing…”
You squint, “With both of us tasting like Doritos and strawberry wine?”
“If it makes sense to mother universe then who am I to argue with her?”
“At least one of us gets it then.” You kiss his cheek and go to move off his lap but he yanks you right back, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
“Yeah, that maybe love’s always got our back in the end.”
“So…that’s what’s poking me right now?”
Juan feels his face burn, “Sorry—I—couldn’t help it.”
“I could—
“No. Nope. Not yet, let me just hold you and get used to the fact that I get to kiss you from now on. If…we get to labeling each other that is.”
“You want to be mine, Ortiz?”
“Don’t tell me you can’t tell.” He groans pressing his forehead into your shoulder leaving you laughing.
“Only if I get to be yours.”
“Fuck yeah!”
You nuzzle your face against his profile as you hum, “I’ll love you even more for the rest of my life Juan Carlos Ortiz…sounds like a plan?”
And he feels his heart swell at that, knowing that he didn’t have to be alone anymore the longer he had you in his arms.
“Sounds like the best plan, yet. And I love you too, so much.” He gently says into your ear before you turn to him again, capturing his lips once more.
જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩 જ⁀➴ᡣ𐭩
February fluff anthology series continues here.
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trashyrosie · 3 months ago
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Leona, talking about the fountain as he gives a tour: So, he built it when his son was born-
Yuu: So, he built what is essentially a pretty thing to look at, but he couldn't have used that money towards better things? Like putting an effort into rebuilding the slums?
Grim: Henchhuman-
Vil: Could you be any blunter, potato?
Yuu, crosses arms: What? Oh and this whole "being one with nature" thing and allowing some of the natural resources to go untapped-
Kifaji: It's because we don't want to drain the land of what they have given us-
Yuu: No one said you were draining it. Just think of a more eco-friendly way of handling things. Leona said you guys have the greatest concentration of sunlight, right? Turn that into solar energy. Convert some of the heavy smog machines into ones that run on solar.
Lilia, hums: She might have a point...
Kalim: Wow, Yuu! You're so smart!
Yuu: Thanks. On top of that, it'll create jobs for people, especially those who work in high poverty areas. You guys can still be surrounded by nature without having to sacrifice nature for it. *Sighs* I'm done, sorry for ra-
Leona: Marry me.
Yuu: You get Grim in the process if I do.
Leona: Deal.
Kifaji: My Prince!
#twisted wonderland#twst yuu#yuu homura#lilia vanrouge#twst grim#vil schoenheit#twst kifaji#kalim al asim#leona kingscholar#cloudcalling on the savanna
No but like as an economics student AND a Leona stan hearing about the way they're handling their economy in the Sunset Savanna ... was sure..... Shocking to say the least
I hope I’m not being to forward but your comment has me thinking, as an economics student how do you think they could improve their situation, what policies can they implement, I would love to hear your ideas💡please
...fam. I'm about to yammer. Also this is my favorite question ever
As an economics student and mind you I might come off as abit harsh or even cold but I want to keep things factual. I don't think the game itself even recognizes what a big of a deal it is to purposely not develop the infrastructure. Underdeveloped infrastructure is one of the things that we take in consideration wHEN MEASURING POVERTY. This is what threw me off, in a way it sounded like they were INSISTING on having poverty related issues. AND WE KNOW THE SUNSET SAVANNA HAS PEOPLE LIVING IN POVERTY. The slumps being the biggest proof.
Leona's ideas ARE actually great solutions, he's completely right in my opinion. I just I think a lot of people don't exactly understand what he means when he talks about industrialization.. And I don't blame them. I too thought industrialization is just big factories go brr pollution and that's what the game seems to be sitting up but... I'm about to "um actually 🤓☝"
So, why is industrialization the solution (that AND developing the infrastructure bECAUSE OH MY GOD people don't have basic needs like water in 2024 ..??? I don't even feel the NEED to explain why that's bad at this point oh also the renewable energy idea is just PERFECT chief kiss) .. Now industrialization doesn't mean 100% destroying the environment.. Does it have a bad effect on the environment.. Yes but it doesn't means absolute destruction of the environment especially in this case..
Think about it...if the products they should be producing depend on natural resources as their input..would they really go, is Leona really presenting that they should go and absolutely DESTROY the sources of their inputs.?, even looking at it from a greedy economical perspective it makes no sense. Also industrialization provides ✨job opportunities✨ and this is very important. Job opportunities and providing the people with income "moves" the economy and improves people's living conditions, people now can afford education and health (which we know the people of the slumps have next to no access to, Ruggie's mom died while giving birth to him and it was mentioned there's a lot of crying kids in the slumps that means women in the slumps don't have access to good healthcare for giving birth a common thing found in countries suffering from whaaat? Poverty.) Providing people with an income improves their living condition (no sh*t) and the best way to provide them with that is by providing them with jobes and yOU DO THAT THROUGH INDUSTRIALIZATION (also side not here, governments can GIVE their citizens "monthly allowances or icomes" these amounts are usually small but better than nothing .. My country is doing this as of now and it's for this exact same thing "moving the economy" aka the people selling, buying, getting married reproducing... Basically living)
Another solution I really like is tourism.. Which Leona mentioned.. twice. .. I think? Okay so they don't want to mass produce? Okie dokie. Then lean heavy into the cool epic greenery you got. A lot of countries irl do that actually and it would also provides the people with the needed jobs (I'll never stop shouting about the importance of income and job opportunities)
but this time in the tourism industry.. and the sunset Savanna really can make banks out of this that place is gorgeous and they should use their beliefs and pride in what they've got as a force to move forward not being all like "the circle of life😍"... As a justification for Underdevelopemt. I really adore the tourism solution like personally like it. I actually I'm an average environment enjoyer myself and I don't think we should destroy nature.... But mothers are dying in the slumps and children are getting no food... And we don't even NEED to destroy nature... We simply need to IMPROVE the way the economy is going NOT DESTROY IT AND CHANGE IT.. Just modernize it a bit.. A region in my country is actually doing this. Leaning heavily into the old castles and mud houses we got (we old as heck) modernizing things a bit to make it tourists friendly while also keeping our history (that I love) intact and BOOM tourists destination and more jobs for the people
in conclusion, I love this ask so much thank you so much so much so much for asking.. my field of study + my favorite lion boy. I'm on cloud nine.. Hands down made my night..i think I gave three solutions.. I'm very sorry if I didn't go in more depths or if this isn't what you wanted I'll clearly be more than happy to answer more stuff about this because I'm a giant nerd. Also I should rule the sunset Savanna. Thank you.
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trips2saturn · 8 months ago
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TOWL SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!!
enough time has passed and i’m impatient so here it is. episode two debriefing! ❤️‍🔥
danai and andy’s chemistry is unparalleled and has never been executed so well before by any other actors. their words, emotions, and energy into bringing these characters to life in such a tender way is something absolutely so enigmatic and goshshfgshdhsn i just love them. i love their dynamic and their power to create such an immaculate foundation that will always be such a memorable piece for all of us as fans of this franchise. 🫶🏼
michonne and nat deserved more time. point blank period. i sobbed violently and had to pause the episode for ten minutes. i loved his dynamic with michonne and how much impact his character had in under 40 minutes of screen time. missing him forever and ever. and not to be an asshole but their relationship is what the dude-bros wanted rick and okafor’s association to be ! tell me i’m wrong.
dana from a group of 40 people with her sister el. yaaaas go girl! she’s a b your honor please believe her!!! she’s totally not a badass powerhouse wife and mother of two who’s experienced more in her life than the crm ever have!!!
it’s FUCK the crm forever actually. CHLORINE GAS? killing the pregnant lady and her boyfriend???? im distraught. the most disgusting group of people to ever exist apart from the saviors. hoping to see their entire base burn to the ground by the end of this series !!!! <3
RICHONNE REUNITING AFTER CHOOSING TO GIVE UP HOPE TO FIND EACH OTHER 😭😭😭 the universe loves them soooo much they’re like this 🤞 when it comes to fate. i am still actively emotional over all of their scenes. they’re sooo in love with each other it hurts. i’m still on cloud nine just from seeing them kiss (and moan omg!) so excuse me. ❤️‍🩹
michonne cradling rick’s face and rick nuzzling into her hands? THAT IS HER BABY POOKIE SUGAR PLUM CRISP. keep them together! they cannot be separated!
jadis can die with all due disrespect. she ruined everything. it’s been her fault since the start. she separated them. she’s the reason that rj doesn’t know his father and only knows of his legendary stories. fuck her. d*e!
rick asking about jude multiple times :((( his baby. bring him home to his kids PLEASE. must’ve been such a shocker to hear him ask about his daughter and not daryl or negan oh no! abused, kidnapped father finds the love of his life and wants to make sure that their daughter is still okay after being away from her for a decade! SHOCKER! WOW. this is shocking news! 🙀
the scenes of michonne and nat having to rebuild their health after the chlorine gas bomb was so heartbreaking but powerful. michonne working out and continuing to push herself by being reminded of her strength, grief, and love. she is so strong and i’m so proud of her. i hate the crm.
“shoto? shoto?” PUNCHING ME IN THE GUT WOULD HURT LESS. meanwhile judith is also trying to reach out but their signal is too far gone for them to do so. 😭 pleaseeee i just need one future scene of them reuniting. michonne loves them so much she is the best mother ever. ❤️‍🩹
okay!!!!! that’s all that i have for now. still collecting my thoughts after this episode but i love my tv parents more than life. so happy to have them back and i can’t wait for the next four episodes!!!!!!!
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euchree · 2 months ago
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This is a masterpost of the verified families that asked for my help in sharing ther fundraisers, please share their stories, if you can, please donate $5+ that you would've spent on drink or a snack to these Go Fund Mes. Their accounts are all tagged here as well as the posts I made, so go to them and reblog/share to reach more people. Free Palestine and may you all be blessed!
1) Mohammad Atallah @mohammedatallah
GFM:
Mohammad is a SEVENTEEN year old that got shot with an explosive bullet during February of this year. He is in urgent need of a BONE TRANSPLANT, as well as to help thirteen members of his family. Your donations will ensure his operation and the safety of his family, as the funds will be used to pay for medical fees and to rebuild their home. His campaign was shared by @90-ghost here!
He currently has $20.2k over the $82k that he needs. Please help him reach his goal!
2) Asma Ayyad @asmaayyad
GFM:
Asma is 25 years old with a family of eight members. During this genocide, she and her brother lost their houses, she lost her dearest pet cat, and struggle with the bare necessities of life. Her family's health is at risk and she wishes to evacuate and start a new life. The funds will be used to evacuate and provide basic needs such as food and treatment.
Her campaign is vetted in the GazaVetters document, #43.
She currently has $21.7k over the $45k she needs. Please support her fundraiser!
3) Heba Yasmeen and Yasmine Mahmoud @yasminsalahmahmoud
GFM:
Heba is a mother of three children, Lulu, Celine, and Ismail, in which Celine suffers from Chronic Thalassemia (decrease in Red Blood Cells) and blood deficiency and needs urgent treatment. Yasmine is her sister and 21 years old and was studying Health Administration before her dreams were destroyed by the war due to the demolition of her university.
The campaign documents more, and it is vetted through association here.
Their campaign is only at $2.3k over the $40k they need. Please support their fundraiser!
4) Ayman Qandeel @aymanqandeel17
More Under The Cut:
GFM:
Ayman was an engineer who used to work at his father's engineering office, when unfortunately during the war was destroyed along with everything in it. He has seven family members whom he wishes to evacuate to ensure their future. The funds will be used for evacuation and housing expenses.
He is vetted in the GazaVetters document here.
Ayman's fundraiser sits only at €169 over the €50k he needs. Please support his fundraiser!!
5) Baraa and Abed Rahman El-Shaer @bara-belal
GFM:
Abed used to take treatment in order to finally have a child, but unfortunately it was stopped due to the war. His house and workplace were fully destroyed during the bombings, and now that he has moved, he finds no shelter. Water and food are harder to obtain, and cannot provide themselves with daily food. He wishes to evacuate his family of five members, his mother, wife, brother, sister, and younger brother.
He is vetted in @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi 's Google Sheets, #253 here.
His fundraiser is only at $9.3k over the $50k he needs. Please support his fundraiser!
6) Mahmoud Ayyad @mahmoudayyad
GFM:
Mahmoud has forty-three members of his family that he wishes to evacuate. They currently live in bad conditions and there are diseases spreading. With your donations, he can leave Gaza and build a new house.
He is vetted in @90-ghost's reblog here.
His fundraiser is only at €7.1k over the €55k he needs. Please support his fundraiser!
7) Iman Sadeq @imansadeq96
GFM:
Iman currently resides in Mawasi Al-Quarara in the Southern Gaza Strip with her husband and three year old daughter. They are living with no toilets, difficult weather, and do not have the basics of life. She will use your donations to pay for the family's expenses, and evacuate them.
She is vetted in The ButterflyEffect Project's document here.
Her fundraiser is only at €8.8k/€50k, please help!
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