#so 1 2 3 7 10 and 11 were photos taken as part of a news piece

[tricoufamily]

retook some family photos. this is literally me when i don't forgive you but please don't hold me to it

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12

Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.

Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.

Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.

You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.

Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...

Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!

You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.

I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.

Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.

I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.

You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!

You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.

The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.

You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.

You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.

It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.

"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"

"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.

"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"

"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?

"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.

"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running!"

"No!"

You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"

You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.

You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.

"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"

"Keep her there, Karen, very good."

"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.

"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."

"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."

"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."

"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.

"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.

"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.

"Why was it in your possession?"

"I don't fucking know! It just was!"

"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"

"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."

"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."

"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.

"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.

"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.

"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.

You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.

"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.

"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.

Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.

Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.

You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.

"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.

"What?" What the fuck was going on?

Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."

"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.

"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.

"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.

"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"

"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.

"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.

"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."

"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.

"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."

"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."

"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.

"You aren't the first to tell me that."

"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."

"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."

"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"

"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.

"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.

"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.

You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.

"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."

"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."

You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.

"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"

"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."

"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.

"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"

"I'll be the new Regina George."

"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"

"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.

"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.

"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.

"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.

"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."

You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."

Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"

"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."

Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.

With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.

You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.

You'd just be another mean girl.

Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.

Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.

I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018

(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)

(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)

(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)

[snowysosturn]

Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 22

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : Y/n x dealer!Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, angst, cursing, grief, sadness

I woke up in the late afternoon hours after a restless night of crying. My eyes were swollen and heavy, my body weak and exhausted. I hadn’t eaten since the news broke, and even the thought of food made me feel sick. My stomach growled in protest, but I didn’t care. Hunger was the least of my worries.

I had kept myself locked in my room all night, ignoring the calls and messages that had poured in. Willow had left several voicemails, her voice cracking as she begged me to let her in. I couldn't face her, or anyone, for that matter. I didn’t want comfort or questions. I didn’t want to feel anything at all.

But as the afternoon became the evening, I knew I had to eat. My body felt too weak to keep ignoring its needs, no matter how hollow I felt inside. Something quick and easy, I thought. Just enough to at least one of the aches in my body.

Dragging myself out of bed, clutching Ralph tightly in my arms. The house was eerily quiet as I shuffled down the hallway toward the kitchen, every step heavier than the last.

When I opened the kitchen door, my eyes immediately landed on the chicken sitting on the counter. It was still there, untouched since I abandoned it the moment I thought Nate was dead. 

The sight of it, something so simple, sent me spiraling all over again.

My knees buckled, and I gripped the edge of the counter to steady myself. Tears streamed down my face as the memories of that night flooded back. Chris teasing me about the chicken. The kiss he gave me before he left. The stupid little flick of the fairy lights that had made me smile.

And now he was gone.

I clutched Ralph tighter, holding him against my chest as if he could somehow shield me from the pain. My sobs came hard and fast, shaking my whole body. The room spun, and I sank to the cold tile floor, my back pressed against the cabinets.

I cried until I couldn’t anymore, my tears leaving streaks on my face and my throat raw from the effort. The chicken sat there, mocking me, a reminder of what could’ve been.

I don’t know how long I sat there on the floor, staring at nothing. Time seemed irrelevant, just like everything else.

I pulled my knees to my chest, burying my face in Ralph’s fur. “Why, Chris?” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Why did you leave me?”

The silence was deafening, broken only by the sound of my shallow breaths.

I didn’t know how to keep going. How to live with this empty ache where Chris used to be.

All I wanted was to see his face again, so I pulled my phone from my pocket, my fingers trembling as I unlocked the screen. My thumb hovered over the camera roll before I finally opened it. Scrolling through the photos, I stopped on one I’d taken of Chris just days ago.

He was holding Ralph, with that playful grin on his face. The image felt so vivid, so full of life, it made my heart ache. I stared at it, my eyes tracing every detail, the curve of his smile, the sparkle in his eyes, the way his hair fell perfectly without him even trying. How could someone so alive be gone?

Tears blurred my vision, but I wiped them away, determined not to spiral again. I needed to do something, anything, to distract myself.

An idea came to me, something simple but meaningful. I decided to make a little setup in my room for Chris, a small space just for him.

I walked to the office next to the dining room, where we kept the printer and all the other little odds and ends my mom liked to hoard. Connecting my phone to the printer, I selected the photo of Chris and Ralph. The printer whirred to life, and within moments, the picture slid out, warm and vivid.

I picked it up carefully, holding it as though it were something fragile. The photo felt so real, like I could reach out and touch him through it.

Mom loved having photos around the house, so I knew there were bound to be some spare frames tucked away somewhere. I rummaged through a drawer in the office and found a small, simple silver frame. It wasn’t fancy, but it would do.

I slipped the photo into the frame, smoothing it out to make sure it sat perfectly. Staring at it again, I felt a bittersweet pang in my chest. “Perfect” I whispered, my voice breaking just slightly.

With the frame in hand, I walked back to my room. I placed it on my bedside table, positioning it so I could see it the moment I woke up. Ralph sat beside it, a silent reminder of one of the last happy moments Chris and I shared.

It wasn’t much, but it felt like a piece of him was here with me, even if just in spirit. I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the photo for what felt like hours, lost in the memory of the man who had somehow managed to leave such a deep imprint on my heart.

The space was nice, but it still felt like it needed more life. The framed photo of Chris and Ralph on my bedside table was sweet, but the area seemed too plain, too empty for something that meant so much. My eyes flicked to the wall behind it, and an idea crossed my mind.

Fairy lights.

I immediately thought about the ones hanging in the treehouse, how Chris always flicked them on and off in that odd little pattern of his. They would look perfect here, draped on the wall behind the photo and Ralph, giving the space a warm, comforting glow.

But as quickly as the idea came, I shook my head. I didn’t want to touch those lights. That was how Chris left them, his little quirk preserved exactly the way he’d done it. Moving them felt wrong, like I’d be erasing a piece of him.

I sat on the edge of my bed, conflicted, staring at the framed photo as though it would offer me an answer.

“No” I whispered to myself. “The lights stay where they are.”

It felt silly, but those lights in the treehouse meant more to me now than they ever had before. They weren’t just decorations, they were a memory, a connection to Chris and the moments we shared.

Instead, I decided I’d find another way to make the space feel more alive. Maybe I could add a small plant or a candle, something soft and comforting. For now, though, I let the simplicity of the photo and Ralph keep me company. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough.

And that was enough effort from me today. I crawled back into bed, my room once again cloaked in darkness. The weather outside had taken a turn, with heavy rain and howling winds rattling the windows. The eerie atmosphere should have unsettled me, but oddly, it was a little comforting. Maybe a distraction was what I needed.

I grabbed my phone and opened Netflix, scrolling until I landed on Gilmore Girls. It was familiar and safe, exactly what I needed to escape my thoughts. Two episodes passed in a blur, but my mind still refused to quiet. Desperate for more distraction, I switched over to YouTube, hoping an ASMR video might help me fall asleep.

I prefer listening to ASMR with headphones, so I reluctantly got out of bed, trying to feel my way through the pitch black room. The wind outside battered the windows, and a chill seeped through the cracks, sending shivers down my spine.

Then it happened.

That familiar glow on, off, on, off flickered through my window again. My breath hitched as I froze in place. It wasn’t possible. My heart pounded in my chest as I turned toward the faint light. 

“No” I whispered, shaking my head as my pulse quickened. “Not again.”

I froze, staring at the flicker of light. My chest tightened as my mind spun in circles, refusing to make sense of it.

“All I wanted was a distraction” I muttered, my voice trembling. “And all I’m getting is reminders,” 

Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes as frustration and sorrow consumed me. “I need to take the batteries out” I muttered, my voice shaky. “I can’t keep torturing myself like this.”

Grabbing my phone for light, I stumbled toward the balcony door, my heart pounding with every step. I shoved it open, and the icy rain instantly soaked through my clothes. The wind whipped against me as I stepped outside, teeth chattering from more than just the cold.

And then I saw him.

Chris.

Standing in the treehouse, drenched from the rain, illuminated by the soft, flickering glow of the fairy lights. His hands gripped the railing, his face shadowed but unmistakably his.

The world stopped.

My knees buckled, and I collapsed onto the wet balcony floor, unable to breathe. My phone slipped from my hand and clattered to the ground as I stared, my vision blurred by tears.

“Chris?” I whispered, the word barely escaping my trembling lips.

He didn’t move, but his eyes, those familiar eyes, locked onto mine. They were haunted, filled with something unspoken that only made my heart ache more.

“This isn’t real” I choked out, my voice raw. “You’re not real.”

Chris climbed over the balcony, his movements careful but swift, like he was racing against my spiraling emotions. The moment his feet hit the floor, he was in front of me, dropping to his knees and pull me into his arms before I could think to protest. His warmth engulfed me, the familiar scent of him cutting through the storm in my chest. I froze in his embrace, my mind screaming to pull away, but my body betraying me, leaning into the solace I’d craved for what felt like an eternity.

Realistically, I didn’t know whether to feel relief or anger. My heart raced, caught in a brutal tug of war between the two. Relief because he was here, alive, standing in front of me when I thought I’d lost him forever. Anger because he let me believe otherwise, let me break into pieces and drown in the darkest depths of grief.

My hands shook as I tried to steady myself, gripping the edge of the balcony for support to get myself back to my feet. The storm raged around us, lightning cracking in the distance, illuminating his soaked figure in brief, harsh flashes. He looked like a ghost, haunted, tired, but undeniably alive.

“You..” My voice cracked as I tried to speak, but it came out as a whisper. “You’re alive?”

Chris nodded slowly, taking a cautious step forward, his hands raised slightly as if approaching a wounded animal.

“I can explain.” he said, his voice low but steady, though his eyes betrayed the turmoil within.

I stumbled to my feet, my body swaying as a fresh wave of disbelief hit me. “Explain?” I shouted, the storm swallowing my words as I stared at him, my chest heaving. “Explain what, Chris? That you let me think you were dead? That you-”

My voice broke, and I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms as I tried to hold myself together.

“Please, Y/n” Chris begged, his voice low and steady, though the weight of his plea made my chest tighten. “We can explain.”

“We?” I asked sharply, my voice cutting through the sound of the storm outside.

Chris turned his head in the direction of the front of my house, his eyes narrowing slightly as if searching for the right words. My heart raced, sensing something I wasn’t going to like.

“Yeah” he said, his voice quieter now, almost reluctant. He shifted his gaze to the driveway below.

I followed his line of sight, and my breath caught in my throat. Standing there, drenched from the rain, was Nate. He was standing in front of his car, hands in pockets, staring directly at us with an expression that was impossible to read.

My mind reeled as the pieces began to fall into place. 

He was in on this too?

a/n: sorry for any tears that were shed

taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo @sophand4n4 @ilovepurpledragons @mattsside @riasturns @sturnslutz @chrisstxrnsaxe

[gunsandspaceships]

MCU Timeline: Iron Man. Part 4 (May 2008, after Afghanistan)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

May 4:

10 am - Pepper helps Tony change the reactor.

~12:30 - Tony goes to Edwards Air Force Base to offer Rhodey the chance to become the armor test pilot. Having been refused to be heard, he decides to become the pilot himself.

May 5 - Tony begins the Mark II project.

May 14 - Board of Directors meeting in New York. Stane came back with pizza to inform that "they" are filing an injunction against Tony. Pepper brought the "Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart" reactor to Tony's lab along with a mug of coffee.

May 15 (Day 11 of "Mark II" project):

Morning/afternoon - after 36 tests, Tony has a successful 37th. However, he does not immediately go on a full test flight.

Evening - he puts together Mark II and goes for a full flight test in LA.

Night - Tony finally notices that poor coffee mug and Pepper's gift.

May 15/16 - photos of the Jericho and other SI weapons in the hands of the Ten Rings were taken. Which means that Obadiah supplied the terrorists with a new batch of weapons, including this missile system, sometime between April and May 15. Around this time, the Ten Rings attacked Gulmira.

May 16:

Before 22:09 - Tony rests from the test flight and his injuries, makes notes for suit upgrades, gives Jarvis instructions for Mark III.

Night (May 16-17), (2 weeks after the press conference) - 3rd Annual Charity Ball. Tony is there after 11:00 pm, May 16 (his watch shows 10:09 pm, add the time it takes him to get ready and change, plus the drive from his house to Disney Concert Hall takes about an hour, but this time he's driving, so the drive takes less time). Coulson is there and asks him for an appointment on May 24th. Tony spends some time with Pepper.

May 17:

~12 am - Christine Everhart informs Tony of a new arms shipment to terrorists from SI. Tony asks Stane about the under the table deals, and Stane tells him that he's behind the attempts to lock Tony out.

3 am - Mark III is ready. Tony returns from the Charity Ball, takes off his jacket and shirt, and while finishing his glove watches the report from Gulmira.

Evening/Night (~8 pm) - Tony gets into Mark III and flies to Afghanistan. It probably takes him about 3-4 hours to get there with his speed of about 2000 mph.

May 18:

~10:30 am (Afghanistan) - he attacks the Ten Rings in Gulmira, saves the villagers, and destroys the Jericho.

~11 am (Afghanistan)/11:30 pm (LA) - Air Force spots him in the no-fly zone and tries to shoot him down. Tony saves the pilot and escapes.

~6 am (LA) - Tony is back home. Pepper finds out about his adventures.

Marvel forgot about the time difference and forced Rhodes and Major Allen to work at night.

Afternoon/Evening - Rhodey gives a press conference about the "unfortunate training exercise involving F-22 Raptor". Stane watches this on tv.

May 19 - Stane in Afghanistan. He meets with Raza, takes Mark I and kills the terrorists. He orders SI engineers to begin work on the Iron Monger suit.

May 19-24 - Tony repairs his armor and recovers from his injuries. Stane and SI engineers build the Iron Monger suit.

May 24:

~4 pm - Tony sends Pepper to retrieve the shipping manifests from the SI mainframe.

~6 pm - Pepper at SI. She gets the data and learns that Stane was behind the assassination attempt on Tony. Stane finds out about this.

On the computer in Tony's office we see the time 13:46. But throughout the whole scene with Pepper it remains the same. It also doesn't make much sense if Coulson just sat there all day knowing his appointment at 7 pm. Thus I assume this time is incorrect.

7 pm - time of Coulson's appointment with Tony at SI. He and Pepper go to the S.H.I.E.L.D. office. Stane rushes to his engineers, demanding an update on the arc reactor. After receiving bad news, he decides to take it from Tony.

Coulson tried to catch Tony for a debriefing from May 2nd to May 16th, and then waited for his scheduled appointment on May 24. He wasn't hanging around there for 6 months (until October 24th), as stated in some timelines. It's simply ridiculous.

~9 pm - Pepper calls Tony from the S.H.I.E.L.D. office. Stane paralyzes Tony and pulls the reactor out of his chest, leaving him to die.

In 10-15 minutes - the paralysis begins to subside and Tony goes to get his first reactor. He barely makes it in time due to arrhythmia (but Dum-E saves him) and loses consciousness after inserting it.

~ 10 pm - Pepper calls Rhodey and he rushes to Tony's house.

~10:30-11 pm - back at SI Stane inserts Tony's reactor into his armor. Rhodes finds Tony unconscious in his lab.

~11:30 pm-12 am - The Battle with Iron Monger.

Remember that the time required to get from Malibu to the SI headquarters by car is approximately 1.5 hours, and from Malibu to Edwards AFB is almost 2 hours. Let's make allowance for the fact that Rhodey had to drive like crazy in Tony's Audi to get there ASAP, so it took him about an hour to get there.

May 25:

Afternoon - "I am Iron Man" press conference.

Evening/Night - Tony meets Fury, who broke into his house.

MCU Timelines: Phase One and Two

[paracosmic-sims]

My top 24(?) screenies from 2024!

Tagged by the lovely @changingplumbob, thank you Kirsty <3

I literally don't know if I even have taken 24 screenshots this year. Let's see...

1, 2 and 3: Some screencaps from a photoshoot I did with my revamped simself. I have MANY variations - check it out, none of those are the one on my current profile picture, or with...

4: Oh Kinha, that's cheating! That is an edit, not a sceenshot! Shhh! I literally don't think I have enough screenies to make this post. Anyways, once I can figure out how to do my tags and navigation posts, expect to see this one in my pinned <3

5: An outfit I made for Sienna that I needed to save for other kiddos too! It's so cute!

6: Vlad. What are you DOING walking around Evergreen Harbor? Not even on my lot, since Journey Delight - the founder of my personal Whimsy Legacy challenge - doesn't even have a house at this point. Just... passing by. It was like... the second night? Anyways, appreciate how marvelous this woman is (and how wacky the sims can be sometimes)

7: Speaking of personal legacy challenges, here's Hendrix Baccinus, the Mint of my NSB save. (The light makes him look blue-ish, but I swear it's mint.)

Look at him. Hot. Handsome. The male quota of this post. He is a baby and a pathetic wet cat of a man. This mfer tried to kill himself! (No joke, he autonomouslt went swimming when his energy was low on Sulani, because he was burnt out. Dude, sims used to be able to juggle a job and an Uni degree!)

I still love him <3

8, 9 and 10: Obligatory Arielly Vespertinai appreciation. Look at her. Gorgeous. My baby. Watcher's favorite (little chew toy nomnomnomnom) <3

Have you seen her? yes? Well, go look again. Until you're mesmerized enough to forfeit your entire mortal posessions to this siren of a woman. Nobody understands the amount of adoration I hold specifically for this little bean. She could kill me and I would still thank her. She consumes my thoughts almost daily even though I have an entire cast to think about so I can support your story babygirl unleash my brain!!!

Also, obligatory gloating that this woman was elected Bronze Medal in @simblorbo-bracket's 2024 SIMBLR SEXYMAN TOURNAMENT. Yes, you heard it right. She's a Sexyman. And is the Sexiest™ of the human competitors.

11: Speaking of Vespertinai's, a draft of Arielly's mom, Elysiann! Still unsure if I want them biologically related or adoptive (makes some sense with part of the lore, screws some other part. UGH.)

don't be fooled, this woman has SUCH a resting bitch face outside of CAS.

12: And on that resting bitch face note, Scione Vespertinai! Ari's younger sister, of whom I have shared custody with @momoception <3 (because someone in her game needed to simp over Lucius Holt, and given I'm his #1 fan in the real world...)

Could you tell my game's eyelashes were still broken on those last 2 pics?

13, 14 and 15: Enough of sim pics for a while, appreciate Elio Alvoretter's (aka, Ari's bestfriend, partner, and overall soulmate) (no, literally.) room. I'm insanely proud of it even if it drove me majorly crazy at some points.

(We do NOT talk about the small desk under the desk. It was fixed after.)

16: On the topic of building, a little bar decoration I made using TOOL. It took me longer than you'd expect.

17: Okay, back to sims because it's all I have at this point. I forgot this cutie's name, but she never really left CAS despite this picture. She was for a BC that never really happened, so I'm saving her for another opportunity. Maybe a spouse for one of my families. Maybe a founder for another legacy? She's kinda packed with CC, so I don't think I'll ever set her for dl.

18 and 19: Some of my girlies for other simmers! Moxie and Apolline were some of the ones I had the most fun doing, and I think that the unused photos deserve a place to shine too.

===================

Unfortunately, the most I could is still short by 5. But then again, 2024 was THE year for me, in terms of personal growth, so TS4 kinda fell behind (a LOT. Some of those pics have literal months of gaps between them)

I am not sure who has been tagged already or not, but if you're seeing this and you want to participate (even again), you're tagged!

[ladykailitha]

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? Part 12

Woohoo!! I managed to get it done today. Again no promises on tomorrow, but it’s coming along great. I think I have another couple chapters to go, but I’m not sure exactly how many yet. 

RIP Eddie’s poor little mind.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3  Part 4 Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

*

Eddie leaned into the mic and said, “This is for Chrissy and the victims of Hawkins.”

He sat down on the stool and Kirk gave him a thumbs up and then ran to stand next to Steve.

“Just how good is your friend here?” Kirk yelled for Steve to hear.

Steve just grinned.

Then Eddie started the opening chords. It started slow and then gradually ramped it up.

Steve started to bob his head. This was even more incredible than Eddie’s performance in the Upside Down because he had the bass and rhythm guitar to back him when he started. Then the drums hit and Eddie was in his element.

Steve hadn’t seen how hard he went to town on his guitar that day. But Dustin had. He had told Steve that it was the most metal thing he had ever seen. Watching Eddie now, wounded and hurting, putting all his fear and anger into that song, he could believe it.

Kirk looked over at Steve and raised an eyebrow. Steve smirked. It was only going to get better.

Eddie hit the solo and Kirk’s jaw dropped. Steve could see Eddie raise from the stool to standing. He was shredding away and the crowd was eating it up.

Steve let out a piercing whistle and Eddie smiled.

When the song finally came to an end, the roar of the crowd was deafening.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Eddie Munson!” James screamed into the microphone.

The crowd lost their god damn minds.

Kirk came back out and got the crowd cheering again. “I’m worried for my job,” he said getting a laugh from the audience.

“You can keep it for now,” Eddie said with a grin. “I’ve got my own band.”

The crowd oohed and stomped their feet.

James looked over at him. “So what your saying is not get to comfortable or your band will come for us?”

Eddie laughed excitedly. “That’s the plan, man.”

“Let’s hear it again for Eddie Munson!” Kirk roared into his microphone.

The crowd cheered. Eddie reluctantly handed back the guitar and went back to stand next to Steve.

“I’m not sure if I want to kill you or kiss you right now!” Eddie growled into Steve’s ear.

Steve laughed. “It’s not over with yet!”

Eddie gave him the side eye but turned his direction back to the concert. The rest of the concert was a smashing hit and Eddie loved every second of it.  

Afterwards they had pictures taken with the band and Ozzy Osbourne who was well on his way to be sloshed as fuck. But he managed to stay upright for the photos.

Eddie could feel the adrenaline pulsing through his veins and was on top of the world. He was sure that he was the highest he could possibly go.

Until someone came up to Eddie and handed him the guitar he had used on stage. Signed by all the members of Metallica and Ozzy Osbourne.

“Holy shit!” Eddie said looking down at the instrument in his hands. “Thanks, guys. Thank you so much.”

Lars patted him on the back. “When we were told that you lost yours in the earthquake, we knew that we had to do something for you to replace it. We know it’ll never be your sweetheart.”

“But we hope it’ll carry you to wherever you decide to go,” James agreed.

Kirk put a hand on his shoulder. “When Corroded Coffin gets famous, hit us up for a tour, yeah?”

Eddie nodded, too afraid to speak or he’d start crying.

“They absolutely will,” Steve said confidently.

They stayed for a couple of drinks with the band before they set off again for the hotel.

By the time they got back, Eddie was swaying on his feet, still clutching that guitar to his chest. Steve had been given a soft case to keep it protected on the way home, but he didn’t think Eddie would let go of it long enough to use it.

Once they got up to the hotel, Steve gently maneuvered Eddie over to the couch and sat him down.

Eddie looked up at Steve, tears threatening to fall. “Stevie...”

“Hi, there, beautiful,” Steve said, kneeling in front of him.

“This was too much,” he insisted.

Steve shook his head. “Nuh-uh, do you remember what I told you?”

“That it was the perfect amount of awesome for me?” Eddie whispered.

“That’s right, sunshine,” Steve murmured. “You didn’t deserve to be pulled into the Upside Down because you wanted to you wanted to go to a concert and selling drugs was your only option. You didn’t deserve to be dragged into hell because you saw a girl who needed help and did you best.” He rubbed Eddie’s thighs reassuringly. “This was something we could do for you because the nightmares are going to come if they haven’t already. Because you’ll jump at strange noises, because the sound of something snapping will bring it all back. But you didn’t deserve that, sunshine. Any of it.”

Eddie set the guitar down for the first time and brought Steve’s face up to meet his. They kissed softly. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he breathed.

“You’re welcome, Eds.” Steve stood back up and held out his hand to Eddie. “Come on, let’s go get that bath, babe.”

*

They both laid in the tub, Eddie with his back, pressed against Steve’s chest.

“Hmm...” Eddie purred as the jets massaged away the tension that had built up from the excitement. “I’ve decided when I get rich and famous, I’m going to have one of these in every bathroom I own.”

Steve’s chuckle rumbled against Eddie’s back. “Yeah, this is nice. The company is better though.”

Eddie splashed him gently. “Softy.”

Steve kissed the top of Eddie’s head. “Only for you, sunshine.” He looked down. “You want me to wash your hair?”

Eddie just hummed again, which Steve took as a yes. He had put the soap and things nearby because he worried Eddie might fall asleep in the bath. It was the most intimate Steve had ever been with anyone. It was a rush. He thought sex was height of intimacy but this? This topped sex.

He washed Eddie’s hair and then ran conditioner through it. He massaged Eddie’s scalp, and Eddie let his head droop lazily against Steve’s shoulder.

“Feels good, sunshine?” Steve asked into Eddie ear.

Eddie hummed happily. “So good.”

After Steve had worked in the conditioner, he grabbed the pitcher that he filled with warm water and gently poured it over it Eddie’s head, rinsing out the suds.

Steve scrunched his hair in his fingers to make sure that all the conditioner was out.

“You ready to get out or did you want to stay a little longer?”

Eddie rolled a little into Steve’s arms. “Just a little longer. This is so good.”

“Okay, babe,” Steve murmured.

*

They woke up the next morning snuggling together in the king size bed. Steve woke first. He looked down at the boy in his arms and smiled. This weekend had turned out even better than he even dreamed. At best they would be heading back to Hawkins full of potential of something new. At worst, Eddie turned him down and they would have an awkward ride back. But having waking up the second day in a row in each other’s arms? Steve’s imagination wasn’t that good.

Eddie stirred. “I can hear you thinking from here, babe. Go back to sleep.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Whatever you say, love.”

They snuggled closer and drifted back to sleep.

Eddie woke up first the second time. He had been so sure that last night had been a dream, but he was lying in Steve’s arms and from here he could see the guitar on the sofa reminding him that no, it hadn’t been a dream. This was his life now.

Once they were fully awake they decided to skip breakfast and just stop for lunch on the way back. They packed up all their stuff, plus all the loot they had gotten last night. In addition to the guitar Metallica had gotten Eddie, they also gave Eddie and Steve goody bags filled with band merch. T-shirts, posters, tour pins. It was quite the haul. They packed the car, the new stuff going on the backseat.

Eddie wanted the guitar up front with him but he couldn’t get it to fit safely, so he was forced to put it on the backseat with the rest of it. He looked back at in longing before he face forward, allowing Steve to drive away.

*

They merely bought some fast food and ate in the car. But it was Steve and not Eddie that insisted they stay near the guitar.

“I think it’ll be okay for twenty minutes, sweetheart,” Eddie said when they stopped.

Steve shook his head. “Things have been going so well this weekend it would be just my luck that something happens the second I look away. Nope. Can’t do it.”

Eddie chuckled and pulled him close. “If it’ll put your mind at ease, babe, then we’ll eat in the car.”

Steve’s shoulders sagged with relief. This had been a first test of sorts, if Eddie could handle Steve’s little anxieties. And he had passed. At least this time.

Steve banished that thought. He wasn’t going to sabotage this relationship before it even got off the ground.

Eddie pulled his arms around his waist and held him tightly. “Just breathe, Stevie. You’re okay.”

Steve let out a shuddering breath. “Sometimes it becomes too much.”

“I’d be more concerned if it didn’t, sweetheart,” Eddie murmured into Steve’s hair. “You have been fighting an unseen, unsung battle for years. And even though Vecna’s dead and his hold on the Upside Down is destroyed, there is still a chance that something else might happen. That could be tomorrow. Next week, next month. But maybe not for decades and you’d have no way of knowing. It’s okay to freak out about little things. Because you can control those, yeah?

Steve nodded.

“So why don’t I go grab us something to eat,” he continued. “And I’ll be right back. Then you can keep an eye on our stuff, while I’m gone?”

Steve let out another shuddering breath, this one seemed to dislodge whatever fear he had bottled up inside him. “Yeah. I can do that.”

Eddie was in and out in no time at all and they sat happily munching on their greasy burgers and slurping their sodas. Slowly Eddie got Steve laughing and relaxing.

Once they were done with their food they through away the garbage and made the last leg of their journey to Hawkins.

They needed to go to the hospital and see Dr Hathaway, but they stopped by Eddie and Wayne’s new house first.

They dropped off all of Eddie’s things and put Steve’s loot in the trunk. And once he had successfully done that, Steve breathed a sigh of relief.

Eddie gave his shoulder a squeeze in support. And then piled back into the car for the drive to the hospital. Steve had called them from the house and let them know they were on their way.

 Part 13 Part 14  Part 15 Part 16 Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20    

Tag List: @anaibis @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @whalesharksart @nburkhardt @snapshotmaestro @shrimply-a-menace @theotalksalot @child-of-cthulhu @bookbinderbitch @cr0w-culture @punctualhowell @obliosworld @eddiemunsonswife @sharingisntkaren @dididisrespectyourbridgegoatman @lillemilly

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Winter Wolf: Part 14

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst

Word Count: 3,523

A/N: Finally got the muse to finish this story! YAY!

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Who’s the cutest little princess in the whole wide world?” Bucky cooed from your bathroom as he gave Anastasia a bath, while you caught your notebook up on the last two years of your life. You smirked to yourself as your daughter giggled away and splashed in the water in her blow up bath tub in the shower. “You are! Yes, you are!”

“Thought I was the cutest in the world.” You called out, playfully as you leaned to the side the slightest bit to see your husband with your eyebrow cocked.

“Not anymore!” He cooed, teasingly with barely a glance over at you. “Ana wins that, hands down now. You didn’t age so well in the dinosaur years.”

“You’re rude!” You laughed as you chucked a pillow at him, easily hitting him in the side to which he completely overreacted to make Ana laugh harder.

“What was that?!” He asked her as he shook his head and pushed himself off where he had purposely fallen to his hip. “Did Mommy just hit me, go boom?! Oh, yes she did, and Daddy’s gunna remember that shit later tonight, too. Yes he will.”

“Are you receiving company?” Tony asked as he knocked gently on your open bedroom door. You froze the slightest bit and closed your notebook as you looked over at him in shock.

“Umm... yes? How am I supposed to answer that, Tony.”

“I know I ruined your birthday.” He started as he opened up his tablet and held it out to you. “And I also didn’t get you a wedding gift. But I figured I’d at least try to kill three birds with one stone with this as a way of apologizing for what I put you through, after everything you have done for the world.” You nodded and scooted across the bed to take the tablet as Bucky did his best to get his daughter out of the bath peacefully for bed so he could see what was going on. You looked at the screen and almost instantly felt the scalding heat you felt the day you watched your home burn to the ground.

“My plantation.” You whispered as you looked at the charred remains. “It’s still there?!”

“It’s technically a historical site.” Tony said as he glanced over at Bucky as he leaned on your door frame. “You owned the biggest plantation in Georgia during the Civil War. It was on the market for a while back in the late 1800’s, early 1900’s but then was taken off...”

“When I moved to London to go to school.” You said with a nod. “I was a doctor... my Lord.” You whispered with a shake of your head.

“Well the property went to the government some time in the 1920’s, and was deemed historical. So they maintained the property and the other houses and stables. But they never rebuilt the main house...”

“There’s an old willow tree a ways to the right of the house.” You said as you closed your eyes and tried to look past the last day you were there in your mind. “It was nearly as tall as the house and I could see if from my bedroom window. Is it still there?” You opened your eyes and looked over at Tony, who slowly shook his head and shrugged.

“I’m not sure. It took me a while to track this place down, because no one knew who the owner was after the war, and I haven’t been down to look yet. Figured you’d want to go first.” You nodded your head and looked back down at the photo as Bucky sat down on the bed beside you with Ana.

“It had a huge wrap around porch.” You told him as you showed him the photo with a small smile as more memories flooded your mind. “John made us rocking chairs that sat right here so we could watch the sun set. Mine had a hole in the right arm from when I stabbed it with my knitting needle after a disagreement one night. And it had these big white columns in front that held up the roof and the small porch up there. Look, baby... this is where Mommy lived.” You said to Ana as you traded Bucky her for the tablet when she tried to get away from her dad.

“We can leave in the morning if you’d like.” Tony said as he pushed off the door frame. “Jet’s ready. Just let me know when you are, whenever you are.”

“Tony.” You called out before he could walk away as your daughter used you as a jungle gym. “Thank you.” He gave you a tight nod and a small smile before he turned and walked away, leaving you to catch up on your memories with your husband.

“So you owned a plantation?” Bucky said, because it was partially news to both of you.

“I inherited it when John passed.” You said with a nod as you wrangled your toddler into your lap. “It’s strange, until I saw that photo, all I could remember of that place was the day I was shot and left. But now, I’m seeing the giant wood burning stove in the kitchen, and the stone fireplace in the parlor. I can see the staircase that ran up the right side of the main hall, that led all the way to the back with this... oh, God it was the most hideous carpet in the world, but it belonged to John’s mother and he loved it.” You scoffed and shook your head as you got up to put Ana in her jammies. “I am not sorry to see that carpet burned down. I wonder if the fire went all the way down to the basement.” You said as you paused at Ana’s dresser and turned around with your brow furrowed. “There’s... there’s something in the basement... I can’t remember...”

“Well, do you want to go look tomorrow?” He asked, pulling you from your thoughts so you could get your daughter dressed. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing this ‘biggest plantation in Georgia’ that my wife owns.”

“It was a big plantation.” You agreed with a huff. “Pain in my rear to work and hotter than all get out most days.”

“Oh, and we’re turning Southern with it.” He laughed as he scooted up on the bed to relax in his spot. “You worked the fields?”

“I did.” You said with a slow nod as you picked up your clothed daughter and walked over to the bed so she could have her night time bottle before bed. “I was a woman before my time back then, and still a Yankee at heart you could say. When John and I married, I convinced him to free our slaves, and made sure they all worked for pay. He was very well off, he could afford it, and they all worked even harder if at all possible once the overseer was let go. But when the war happened, money got a little tight, and we lost quite a few hands to typhoid but the work still needed to be done. So yes, I worked my fields until the war was dropped on my doorstep one night.”

“You know, you get more and more impressive every single day.” He said as he set Tony’s tablet aside to lay down beside Ana so he could look at you. “I am so honored to get to call you my wife, doll.”

“Even though my memories come in snippets and I’m dinosaur old?” You teased as you picked up your notebook to update some past notes.

“Absolutely.” He laughed as he reached across the pillows to rub your back. “Makes you mysterious.”

“OK, we’ll go with that.” You laughed as you handed him the remote so he could put on the ‘Good Night Moon’ show Ana loved before bed while you wrote. You hummed and shook your head as you opened your notebook and clicked on the plantation memories page. “Mysterious, he says. Crazy I say.”

“Go write your notes!”

——

You were glad to see that the massive live oaks lining your driveway were still just as gorgeous as ever, but it absolutely disgusted you to see that your front lawn had been turned into a giant gravel parking lot. A deep growl rolled from your chest, and Steve gently reached over the front seat to grab your wrists, while Bucky put his hand on your knee and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“We can fix it, sweetheart.” Your husband said softly as Happy, Pepper’s assistant, parked his rental car beside the one Tony, Pepper, and their lawyers were in, since parking the jet on your property was apparently not an option. Your growl turned into grumbling as you got out of the car, but turned right back into a much deeper growl when you turned to see a six foot tall, chain link fence around your old home. But all noises simply stopped when you saw your willow tree.

“I’m gunna fucking kill someone.” You said as you ripped away from Bucky and Steve and stormed over to your tree, where a young couple was carving their initials amongst the decades of others, including your and John’s original carvings. “Back the fuck up!” You roared as you let your claws fly just as Steve wrapped his arm around your upper torso and yanked you back.

“Just back away from the tree.” He said quickly to the terrified kids with a shake of his head. “Go on.” The second they were clear, he set you down, and you retracted your claws to walk over and run your fingers over the destroyed wood.

“No...” You said with a shake of your head with tears in your eyes as you looked around until you found the faint, misshapen heart that was almost gone with age, and distorted letters carved by your late husband.

“We’ll see if we can fix it, baby.” Bucky said softly as he touched the small of your back. “Look, the older ones are already fading.” You nodded your head slowly and looked up at the higher names, that were a little less distorted than yours, but were fading as well.

“You must be Mr. Stark.” A peppy older woman in period clothes said as she headed over to the group. “My name is Abigail, I’ll be your guide of the Jackson Plantation...”

“I’m sorry, the what?!” You said as you whipped around to look at her with rage in your eyes, which made Tony step between the pair of you with a tight ‘all business’ smile.

“You’re gunna want to clear the property.” He said evenly with a nod. “Now. For everyone’s safety.”

“Oh! Oh, I’m afraid I can’t do that...” Abigail said as you stormed away from the group to look at a metal plaque on your side of the fence around your house.

“Oh, this is not good.” Bucky said with a shake of his head as you read the lies someone had made up about your house, before you simply ripped it off the post and easily crumbled it in a ball before Steve could get to you.

“Wait, you can’t do that!” Abigail shrieked as you ripped the fence open with more grumbling and headed up to your house with Steve, and Bucky right behind you.

“I’m warning you once more.” Tony said as he simply watched your guide’s horrified expression. “Clear the premises...”

“I’m calling the police!” She cried as she pulled her cell phone from the pocket of her dress.

“I am the fucking police here!” You roared from the front steps as you rounded and glared at her. “This is my fucking land! You are trespassing here!”

“This is property of the National Parks Services...” She tried with shaky hands, which made the Wolf rear her ugly head at the woman’s weakness as a sinister darkness filled your eyes.

“And that’s where you’re fucking wrong.” You said as you slowly walked back down the steps toward her. “This land belonged to my first husband, John William Scott, who was a confederate soldier that died in the war. The plantation, which was named Green Pebble Hill by his aunt, Cecelia Ann Scott MacDonald when she was a child because of the moss covered pebbles in the stream in the back fields by the way, was left to me, (Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) Scott, his sole heir because I’m not able to bear children due to my mutation. Find his will, I know he had one. It’s dated May 16th, 1864, the day before he left to join ranks before the war even started.

The house was burned down by Yankee soldiers in July of 1865, four days after I got a letter saying my husband was killed, not by looters in 1868 like your historically inaccurate sign claims. Burned down by men who were instructed to kill me when they found that I was helping both their soldiers and ones of the confederacy. I was shot in the left lung for helping wounded men, no matter what color their coat was, because that is what good people do. But thanks to my mutation, I can’t fucking die! My body just rejected the musket ball as they burned my home to cinders. Now, get these people off my fucking property immediately or you will learn all about the hell I’ve been through the past one hundred and twenty four years since I first learned how horrible people could be just for the fucking sake of it!” She nodded her head frantically as you turned on your heel to head back up to your house, grumbling under your breath. “Stevie, help me with this.” You said as you carefully walked up on the porch again. “There’s a safe in the basement. It has that letter... I think the will...”

“Babe, be careful.” Bucky said as you grabbed a long, charred, weather warn piece of wood that made up part of the wall of your first floor and lifted it up so that your best friend could see a similar piece of wood that was attached to it on the far side of the house.

“OK, I see it.” He said as he jumped down and ran to the other side as tourists began to flood toward the parking lot to leave.

“(Y/N), we can get a construction crew...” Pepper tried, but Bucky quickly looked back and shook his head at her.

“Just leave her. She’s being buried by new memories, and she’s battling the Wolf. No one can stop her right now.” 

“Get ahold of your boss.” Tony said as you and Steve chucked the wood away from the building. “I want contact information to whomever believes they own this land. We’ll be taking it back from them now.” Abigail nodded her head again and continued making phone calls as you and Steve made a path down to the basement that seemed relatively untouched thanks to it’s all stone frame.

“It’s...” You said as you jumped down into the basement after twenty minutes of clearing the rubble of your upper two floors and hesitated. You closed your eyes and tried to picture yourself putting the letter in the safe as Steve jumped down in front of you to help. You turned around in your spot and went through the motions of the memory, before your head shot up and to your left. “Over here. Under some flour sacks.”

“I need a light!” Steve called out as you took a step in that direction but stumbled the slightest bit over a small pile of stones. “Wait, (Y/N). We’re getting a light.”

“Here, Tony said just put it on.” Bucky said as he carefully leaned over the edge and dropped Tony’s Ironman helmet down to Steve. Your best friend held it out to you and you squeezed it on to your head before squinting at the bright screen that popped up in front of you.

“Man, what did I do with only lanterns down here?” You asked yourself as you awkwardly stepped over the stones, around whatever had started to grow in the dark space, and over to the sacks of flour that was your safe’s cover with the help of the night vision from Tony’s suit. Once they were thrown to the side, you picked up the three by three cast iron safe with a grunt, and carried it back over to Steve.

“Alright, hold on. Let me get out first.”

“How do I get this thing off... Oh.” You gasped as the mask opened and shrunk down to sit like a thick necklace. “That works.”

“You find it?” Bucky asked as Steve found solid ground and kneeled down to help. You passed it up to him and climbed out yourself as Tony, Pepper, and his lawyers talked to the cops that came to deal with the ‘disturbance’ with Abigail, her boss, and a pair of local representatives from the National Park Services.

“OK, wait just set it here.” You said as you pointed to the ground by the back steps as you kneeled down beside it. “Shit. When is his birthday? Or was it the day we met.”

“Don’t think of it that way.” Bucky said as he came around to the back of the house to see what was inside this little mystery box. “That’s not gunna help here like it doesn’t help you find your cell phone at home, remember? Walk through the last time you used it like you did in the basement. Picture yourself with the letter in your hand.” You nodded your head and closed your eyes as you held out your hand with the letter in it. “Down the stairs, to the left. You moved those bags and kneeled down. You reached out and turned the dial to...”

“Thirty-two.” You said as you opened your eyes and leaned forward. “Seventeen. Nine. His birthday backwards.” A smile spread across your face as the locked popped open, and the metal door creaked as you pulled it open. “Thank you baby. I never would have remembered that. See, the letter.” You said as you carefully pulled it out and unfolded the telegram. You looked over the slightly faded ink with a small sigh, before wiping off the top of the safe and setting it down. “Oh, look. His will. I didn’t know I had the original. Oh, look at this.” You laughed as you pulled out an old photograph of you on your wedding day. “I made that dress by hand. And this picture took forever to take. Cameras weren’t what they are back then.”

“God, you haven't change a bit.” Bucky said as he sat down beside you to look, as Steve crouched down on your other side.

“I aged like a fine wine.” You teased as you added the photo to the stack. “Oh, and this is John. Oh, sweetheart.” You sighed as you slowly shook your head with a fond smile. “Bless his heart, that man couldn’t grow a beard to save his life.”

“He’s... a lot older than I expected.” Bucky said as he took the photo from your hands, delicately.

“Ten years senior.” You said with a nod as Steve excused himself softly to let Tony know you had the original will. “That was normal back then. I married him when I had just turned seventeen so we were together... like seven years before he passed.”

“Wow.” He breathed as he handed you back the photo.

“What else do we have? Confederate bonds. What’s this? Oh, gold. Could have used that. Oh, my jewelry...” The pair of you sat for another twenty minutes or so, going through old memories and things you had kept safe when John left. You were ecstatic to find the deed to the property along with his father’s will and a couple other documents related to his family.

“OK, I have to say this is blowing my mind a little bit.” Bucky said as you pulled out a pistol wrapped in an old t-shirt to make sure there was nothing left underneath it. “Like... this is your stuff. Not your relatives, yours. You actually touched these documents before today.”

“Gives being older than dinosaurs a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?” You laughed as you started carefully putting everything back in the safe.

“And you own this land.” He said as he looked up at the massive, 2000 acre property in front of him.

“I do.” You said with a nod as you closed the door of the safe. “Legally and soon, officially.”

“Damn.” He said with a shake of his head. “Yea, we’re raising Anastasia here.”

“I’m absolutely OK with that, my love.” You said as you stood up and picked up the safe. “I just have to prove who I am to the US government after spending nearly one hundred years trying to avoid doing just that. That’s gunna be the real fun.”

Part 15

[justafriend-ql]

times never let me go said: happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈 (part 3)

final installment by popular request 3 people and my will to procrastinate (see part 1 and part 2)

narrow hallways - our community's biggest and most underappreciated ally

2. nuengdiao ordering palm to be his friend right after insulting him this is the bitchy emo twink representation we deserve

3. palm's brain fully shutting down when nueng brings his fingers to his neck

4. (watching your father cut a man's finger off in your living room) yes, the horrors are indescribable, but you've got to serve

5. have you ever been cockblocked by a roti sai mai seller

6. the scene going a full 10 shades darker when nueng agrees to dance with ben we have entered the twilight zone

7. nueng looking palm up and down not once, not twice, but three times

8. photos taken seconds before disaster

9. nueng vowing to strike fear into the hearts of homophobes everywhere

10. mam's gaydar going off like crazy

11. alexa play 'you're sexy, i'm sexy' by eric nam

12. friendly reminder that at this point palm has seen nueng have several emotional breakdowns, willingly poison himself with alcohol, throw up off the side of a boat, and call palm his running dog like palm get upppp

13. you heard it here first folks #bebravebeyou

14. mam asking about how palm feels and him admitting that it felt good to kiss nueng I LOVE THIS SONG

15. thank you for your service pond

16. the face ben pulls when chopper says he's never been ben's type (he will ask chopper out in approx. 2 minutes)

17. mam accepting nueng as her son-in-law 🥺

18. "you can do it as much as you want" sir this is a public retail store have some decorum

19. palm's face when nueng takes off his shirt so he can join him in the tub LMAO in the midst of his grief there was suddenly powerful lust

20. spiderman pointing meme (gay cousin edition)

21. stream 'smile please' by the cast of my school president for clear skin

22. get fucking wrecked ben men aren't shit

23. kiss. his. little. cheekie!!

24. you are so stupid we are about to fuck in my office

25. who's going to tell him

26. chopper: "i think nueng will need a lot of energy for palm" ben's reaction to that information:

27. people died

28. historians will say they were very good friends

29. established gays coaching the baby gay <3

30. "you are two men dating each other. that's already hard enough. your love is impossible in this lifetime. you always have to hide your relationship. it's impossible for you to get married and start a family. you need to be reborn. things may be better at that time." and in palm and nueng's present lifetime it's the same DO YOU HEAR WHAT JOJO IS SAYING

🇹🇭 MARRIAGE EQUALITY NOW 🇹🇭

[the-man-in-the-wind]

I’ve been asked to explain my kit and my workflow by @savage-daughter-of-nikitie.

I use either a Canon 80D, Canon 5D Mk IV or a Sony A7Riv with a sigma MC-11 mount converter. I also have a Canon 300D and a Canon 70D from both of which I have removed the internal infrared filter, so that I can shoot in the Infrared.

I have a number of tripods and LED light panels which I sometimes use, but for most general things I prefer to use natural light with perhaps a small reflector.

Lens-wise, my aviation photography is done using either a Sigma 60-600mm f/4.5-6.3 OS DG Sports or a Canon 100-400mm f/4.5-5.6L MkI.

For other general photography such as landscapes and when I do portraits, (which I don’t post here). I have a range of lenses but my favourites are:

* Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8l USM

* Canon 50mm f/1.8

* Lensbaby Velvet 56mm f/1.6

* Canon EF-S 10-22mm f/3.5-4.5 (this won’t fit on the Sony / MC-11 combo)

For macro photography I generally use either a Sigma 105mm f/2.8 EX DG OS HSM macro or, very occasionally, a Canon MP-E 65mm 1-5x Macro with a lot of light and a macro rail.

I occasionally use a Newer variable ND e.g to slow flowing water and I have various intervalometers, and all of the Pluto Trigger and Dripper kit for water droplets or complex triggering.

I also use my phone camera more and more and then achieve effects in Lightroom, Photoshop or Topaz AI

My workflow varies depending upon the type of photography. By way of an example, for the flower studies my workflow is:

1. Photos were taken on a variety of kit, mainly my phone.

2. Import into Lightroom

3. Square crop the flower and rotate to get the best light/symmetry/arrangement.

4. Use Lightroom’s Subject Mask to initially mask the flower and refine using brush addition/subtraction

5. Duplicate and invert the mask to effectively mask the background

6. Set exposure, contrast, highlights, shadows, whites, blacks and saturation to zero. This removes the background allowing the flower to stand alone but gives me the option to recover the background should I wish to later.

7. At this point any issues with masking become very noticeable so I will often refine both flower and background masks once more.

8. Return to the flower mask and set the exposure, contrast, white balance, response curves, saturation and sharpness as required, to make the flower pop.

9. I often apply radial masks to even the exposure or highlight the inner or outer sections at this point.

10. Use the heal tools to remove pollen specs, imperfections or other issues. Lightroom’s content aware AI healing is extremely good these days.

11. I then catalogue, add metadata, and export to a number of private and public storage and distribution services.

I have two projects I want to start as we move into winter, life permitting.

Firstly, I want to try to do some star trails. Near where I live there is a park on an escarpment running east west, with a couple of stone crosses that can be photographed from the south with the Polaris (the North Star, which is the centre or rotation in the night sky) just above the top of one of them.

I also want to play more with my 70D and do some more IR photography. This makes warmer parts of the scene brighter and cooler darker and can lead to some eerie effects. I have a long standing desire to visit a certain chateau in France and photograph it in IR.

This is probably way more than you were asking for and I’m not sure is this is what you wanted to know, but I hope it helps.

[oscurascout]

Y/N As A Doublegänger

From "That's Not My Neighbor" game

Note - I think, I'm going to update between Fridays to Sundays, those are my only free days 🥲 Also I change the plot a bit, since I got this idea from watching a YouTube video.

Part 6 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11)

After I got back to my apartment, I enjoyed a delicious dinner with a peaceful mind.

The next day, I planned to do nothing other than enjoy my day off. I started with breakfast and watched a good TV show. After that, I intended to just sleep and recharge my energy, but I was interrupted by someone approaching my room. I quickly stood up and opened the door.

It was a neighbor I had not seen before. “Oh hello, how may I help you?” I said with a smile. The neighbor looked a little taken aback. “Crap! I forgot I'm supposed to be acting like Y/N!” I thought, panicking. Yet my panic subsided when they smiled back.

Lady - “Hello, I'm Mia. I was wondering if you would join our cooking class this time”

“Cooking class?” I asked, a bit confused; after all, I didn’t understand why they needed to cook.

Mia - “Yes! Thank you for listening this time. I guess the rumors about you changing are true”

“Huh? What rumors?” I asked, feeling a little nervous.

Mia - “Oh, nothing! Don't stress about it. Anyway, today at 4, we will have a cooking class in Room 4 on the second floor, in case you want to drop by.”

“Let me think about it,” I said, weighing the pros and cons.

Mia - “Sure, you know where to find us”

She was about to leave, but I stopped her. “Oh, um, in case I do go, do I have to bring anything?” I asked, a little worried since Y/N didn’t have a lot of things in their kitchen.

Mia - “Oh, no! Nacha already has everything. But if you want to learn a specific recipe, you're welcome to bring your own ingredients”

I nodded as she walked away. I closed the door and started thinking, “Maybe I should go; that way, I can learn more things.” I glanced at the clock. “Mmm, so in 3 hours. All right, I'll take a nap in the meantime,” I thought, heading to the couch and lying down, ready for a short rest.

When I opened my eyes, I sat up and looked around for a bit. Then I glanced at the clock—it was already a few minutes after 4! I quickly stood up, tidied myself up a little, and left my apartment.

Once I reached the second floor, I searched for Room 4. When I found it, I knocked, and the door immediately swung open.

Mia - *happy* “You're finally here!”

She grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. I could hear laughter coming from another room. Mia guided me toward the kitchen, and as I looked around, I noticed that this apartment was bigger than mine. “Probably because more people live here” I thought as I saw several photo frames.

Mia - “Everyone, this is Y/N! They will be with us today!”

All eyes turned to me, making me a little nervous. I recognized some of them, or at least I thought I did.

Angus - *smiling brightly* “Y/N! Good to see you here!”

Lady - “Hello, I'm Nacha, and I'll be your instructor. Oh, and this is my little assistant, my daughter Anastacha”

Anastacha - “Nice to meet you or whatever”

Angus - *pushing a man with glasses forward* “This is Steven, Steven this is Y/N, the one I've been talking about”

Steven didn’t say anything; he merely nodded and extended his hand to me. I gladly shook it. Another man also extended his hand. I looked at him; he was wearing a black hat. I shook his hand, feeling happy.

Man - “I’m Roman; it’s nice to see you again”

“Sorry? I don't think we've met before,” I replied, hoping that Y/N had indeed never met Roman.

Roman - “Yes, we haven't met properly, but I’ve seen you in the mornings when you go out the front doors”

I let out a sigh of relief. Nacha then clapped her hands, gathering everyone’s attention.

Nacha - “Alright, everyone, now that the introductions are done, let’s get started!”

Angus pulled me to his side, putting me in the middle of him and Steven, and once Nacha saw that we were all ready, she began her lesson.

After a few minutes, I got stuck in step 2. “How do I boil this again?” I wondered as I tried to turn on the heating machine.

Angus - *coming over* “Ha ha, my friend, you look like a caveman! Let me help you”

He easily turned on the heating machine. “Wow, you must be experienced with this machine” I said as I placed the pot on the fire.

Angus - *smiling* “It’s called a stove”

I flinched a little, worried that it might blow my cover.

Roman - *chiming in* “It’s still a machine”

I noticed that Roman was doing something completely different from us. While we were making something called 'pasta,' he was preparing something called 'cake.' “Why are you making cake instead of pasta?” I asked curiously.

Roman - “Today is mine and my wife's anniversity, so I want to make her a little something special”

“And how is a cake different from pasta?” I asked, not understanding. I didn’t know much about human culture, but I could feel that this 'cake' was special—so why not pasta too?

Roman - “Well, pasta would be good too, but I want her to enjoy a cake made by me to show how much I love her and how I remember the day we finally got marry”

Angus - “I’m sure she will be delighted!”

Roman nodded and thanked us. Suddenly, someone turned off my fire.

Anastacha - “It’s going to burn, you need to be careful or whatever”

“Oh, thanks,” I replied, watching the water with the pasta in it.

Anastacha - “You need to drain it”

“Why? Can’t we just eat it like that?” I asked, still not understanding. “Actually, couldn’t we have eaten it before we boiled it?” I questioned, confused about the whole process.

Anastacha - “Uhh, no, Unless you want to, but we need to cook almost everything we eat. If you don’t, you could get diseases and such. Why? You ask as if you’re not hu—” *interrupted*

Angus - *quickly butting in* “Ha ha! Seems my friend is a little too accustomed to fast food!”

“Huh? Fast food? Oh! No, I actually always eat TV dinners,” I said with a smile.

Nacha - *overhearing the conversation* “Do you always eat TV dinners? I know you may be busy, but those can be bad for you.”

“Well, I eat one a day, and I’m pretty strong, so it doesn’t harm me. Though they are a bit cold,” I replied while draining the pasta.

Nacha - “Well, if you only eat one a day, then I guess it’s okay. But still, you should try to eat a variety of foods. Also, if it’s still cold after heating it up, you just need to put it in the microwave for a bit longer or move the food around”

“Huh? Microwave? What’s that?” I asked, not understanding what she meant. “Could this 'microwave' be another machine?” I wondered as I noticed that everyone fell silent.

[pettirosso1959]

I never cease to be amazed at the deniers who claim that the entire space program was and is a gigantic hoax. I hereby challenge ANY of them to prove their absurd claims. I don't mean by pointing to a photograph and simply saying "that's fake", or by using some ridiculous concatenation of imagined "facts". I mean empirical evidence that we can put our hands on.

And I find it interesting that the deniers for the most part weren't even born during the time of Mercury, Gemini and Apollo. I was - I saw it firsthand, I followed it religiously, I know people who worked in the space program. I have touched and handled hardware, including the Apollo 8 Command Module.

To all of the moon landings deniers, here are the answers to 10 of the most common moon-landing-denial stories, plus two bonus answers.

1. The flag is not blowing in the wind. Its top seam is held up by a spring-loaded rod, and the wrinkles are due to it being furled in a tight tube for transport and then shaken as the astronauts hammered it into the lunar surface. There was no wind because there is no air. This is on the moon.

2. There was no cameraman. Neil Armstrong's first steps were captured by a TV camera mounted on the equipment bay door of the Lunar Module. Later on, one of the astronauts moved the camera to a stand—you know, like a tripod?—to cover the whole landing site. Still photos were taken by Neil Armstrong using a Hasselblad medium-format camera loaded with 70mm Ektachrome film. The camera was attached to a bracket on Armstrong's chest pack. An additional time-lapse film was automatically shot using a 16mm data camera mounted in the LM window.

3. The footprints hold their shape because there is no air on the moon, not because the dirt ("regolith") is wet. The phenomenon is called "vacuum cementing," and it works especially well on the jagged edges of lunar dust particles.

4. There are no stars in the picture because the camera exposure was set for the lunar surface, the astronauts' suits, and the equipment, all of which were in bright sunlight. The stars are very, very dim. They would not show up without much longer exposures that would have left everything else completely washed out. I'm attaching a very good video clip from the Planetary Society which explains the phenomenon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxwWfJQjyx0

5. There's no crater underneath the LM descent engine for several reasons. First, at touchdown the engine was throttled down to about 10 percent of its full thrust, and in the lunar gravity the LM weighed only ⅙ of its earth weight. (This is also one reason why the footpads didn't sink into the regolith; see #6.) Second, there's no air on the moon to hold the engine exhaust into a tight jet. The exhaust gasses expand as soon as they clear the engine bell and spread out very quickly. Third, the regolith below the engine blew away in straight lines due to the lack of air. The low lunar gravity meant the regolith travelled a long distance before falling back to the surface. There is a crater, but it's very shallow and difficult to see in the photos.

6. The footpads didn't sink into the regolith because they're 3 feet in diameter and the lunar module touched down very gently. This spread the weight over a broad area. On the other hand, the astronauts' boots (see #7) concentrated the astronaut's weight on a small area, so they left deeper, well-defined boot prints. The lunar surface at the Apollo 11 landing site had a thin layer of loose material with a hardened layer just beneath it. Other landing sites had more or less loose material.

7. The boot prints on the lunar surface don't match the boots in photos of the astronauts on earth because they're not the same boots. All three crew members on Apollo flights wore full pressure suits with boots. The two men who landed and walked on the moon wore an additional garment over their suits to protect against punctures and wear and tear. This over-garment had additional visors for their helmet and overshoes for walking on the moon. The overshoes had the tread pattern seen in lunar photos.

8. The astronauts' backpacks (Portable Life Support System or "PLSS,") did not need to carry enough oxygen for an 8-hour moonwalk because the PLSS was a closed system. Carbon dioxide breathed out by the astronauts went through a chemical filter that removed the carbon and recirculated the oxygen. Only a small amount of oxygen had to be added to make up for what the astronauts had burned in their bodies. There was also a smaller, emergency oxygen tank just in case.

9. The Van Allen radiation belts do not extend to the moon so they were not a problem while the astronauts were in lunar orbit or on the surface. They did pass through the Van Allen belts on the way to and from the moon, but the transits were just over an hour each way. The short time, plus the protection built into their spacecraft, meant the Apollo astronauts received no more radiation exposure than Space Shuttle or Space Station astronauts who never got near the Van Allen belts.

10. President Nixon did not simply pick up the phone, dial Mission Control, and then ask the receptionist to put him through to the Sea of Tranquility. The call went from the White House telephone exchange via the AT&T network to the Goddard Spaceflight Center near Washington, DC. Goddard routed the signal to the Manned Spaceflight Center (now the Johnson Space Center) in Houston. From there, it went via communications satellite to NASA’s installation at Honeysuckle Creek, Australia, which was the primary link between earth and the moon during the moon walk. It wasn’t routine, but the technology of patching telephone calls into radio networks was common in 1969.

And here’s a bonus of two more…

11. By the time the cameras on Apollo 11 got to the moon they weren’t “normal film cameras.” The live video used a custom-made Westinghouse television camera designed for minimum size, weight and power drain. Its frame rate was only 10 frames per second to squeeze the video signal into the available radio bandwidth. (Broadcast TV at the time was 29.97 frames per second.) Still photos were shot with a Hasselblad medium-format camera that was stripped down to save weight, and rebuilt with lubricants that could work in extreme temperatures and vacuum. The film was 70mm Ektachrome that used a special base developed by Kodak. It was lighter, thinner and stronger than regular films of the time. There was also a 16mm film camera mounted inside the lunar module taking time-lapse footage of the astronauts on the surface. It was meant to collect data, not take pretty pictures, and it could be set to shoot at different frame rates.

12. Finally, there were something like 400,000 people around the world involved with Project Apollo. In addition, the Apollo missions were tracked by the Soviet Union, Great Britain and probably several other nations. The idea that all of these people could be involved in a conspiracy to fake the missions, a conspiracy that has been maintained for more than 50 years, is improbable to say the least.

Thus endeth the lesson.

[mrsweasley23]

Steve the Voyeur - The Switch (Part 12 - The End!) NSFW

Full fic available on ao3

Part 11 Part 10 Part 9 Part 8 Part 7 Part 6 Part 5 Part 4 Part 3 Part 2 Part 1

After filming himself for the first time, Steve realised how much he loved it. The intensity of every moment and movement heightened knowing that he and Eddie would be able to watch it back later. It made Steve deliriously happy that he could see the exact expression on Eddie's face as he fucked hard into his ass from behind, that he could watch Eddie's thick cock disappear into him over and over again, see the indention his fingers made into Steve's cheeks, that he could enjoy the very moment Eddie tipped over the precipice, hands gripping, head back, wet lips parted.

And Eddie LOVED to film him. After 'the dildo incident', as it came to be known, Steve wasn't given free reign over Eddie's toys without his supervision but that was more than okay with Steve, who enjoyed being bossed around and instructed, completely at Eddie's mercy. Take that one, Stevie. Fuck it in. Deeper. Harder. That's it. Good boy. Every instruction designed to make Steve feel good, as if Eddie's sole intention in life was now his pleasure. Sure, Eddie teased him, edged him, denied him until Steve was begging, sometimes to the point of tears but it was always in the pursuit of something good. Something fucking amazing, something other-fucking-worldly.

The first time they'd fucked on camera, they'd set it up from afar, let it capture the whole scene, from Eddie eating him out - and holy shit, wasn't that a revelation - working him open, then fucking him deep until Steve was a whimpering mess. The audio was just as hot to relive as the visuals  Steve used to be conscious of the noises Eddie dragged out of him, but once he realised the reaction they got from Eddie, he let everything out, every moan, groan, growl, whimper and scream. And Eddie learned to read each noise, respond to each one, tuning in more and more to exactly to what his boyfriend wanted and needed and Steve was powerless to resist.

In typical Eddie fashion, he rarely stopped talking, especially when he knew he was on camera, but fuck, if it it didn't drive Steve insane. "Want everyone to see me fuck you like this? See how well you take it. Like you were made to take cock". Yes, yes, yes. In those moments, Steve absolutely would let anyone watch, share in the pleasure, marvel in what Eddie did to him. "Imagine someone jerking off over you getting fucked, Stevie. You like that?"  So fucking much. The thought of Eddie getting himself off to them was delightful, the thought that even when he wasn't there he could make Eddie feel good. But, the idea of someone else, someone watching how Eddie made him come undone and wanting him, wanting to be him, cumming to them, that fucked Steve up. Made him feel like he was desirable, special, exactly what someone wanted or needed. 

The next time they fucked, Eddie kept the phone with him, so he could get shots of Steve's ass up close, capture the wet slide in, the delicious stretch around his cock, Steve's needy and desperate pushes back. He'd made Steve turn his head over his shoulder, show how wrecked he looked as Eddie drove deeper, captured the twisting shape of his mouth, the flush on his cheeks, the pure desperation in his eyes. "You okay there pretty boy?" A moan in response, words were not really possible for Steve in moments like these. Steve could not get enough of seeing his.own ass full of Eddie. It was one thing feeling his cum fill him up, feeling the telltale throbs, clenching in response. But seeing it work it's way out, seeing Eddie stuff it back in with his quick fingers, seeing himself marked, taken, bred...fuck, it took everything to another level. 

Then there were the photos. Snapshots of pure pleasure, graphic, messy. Swollen cocks, Steve's asshole, red and dripping with Eddie's cum, sometimes stretched around his cock, or a toy, faces full of lust, mouths stuffed full, covered in cum. He loved to see himself through Eddies's eyes. He saw the pleasure Eddie gave him etched across his face, evident in the way he held his body, how he saw his body respond without even realising. He looked at the photos and he FELT it, every stroke, every stretch, every thrust, the hot rush. They left him aching, a vicious cycle of want and sex, chasing pleasures he had no idea existed before. The photos were beautiful. THEY were fucking beautiful. Everything they did, fucking disgustingly beautiful.

How he was managing to navigate normal life, when in all honesty, all he wanted to do was be naked with Eddie or look at Eddie naked, was quite the miracle. And Eddie did not make it easy for him. Ever the tease, dropping hints, sending photos, bringing Steve to the brink before fucking off to work for the day. If Steve didn't love him so much, he'd fucking hate him. Not that he would ever dare say those four letters to Eddie. This wasn't that. Eddie didn't want that. It was glorious and hot and had utterly transformed Steve's life, but when it came down to it, they were just two guys who had really great sex, right? Right. 

Case and point. 

Eds: Hope you've been holding up your end of the bargain?

Stevie: Haven't broken out the contraband if that's what you mean. Supposed to be working on this stupid fucking essay. Hard when you left me hanging

Eds: Promise it'll be worth the wait

Always is x, he types, like the fucking sap he is. Then he deletes it. Time to be a brat.

Stevie: Better be

Eds: Haven't disappointed you yet 

Stevie: First time for everything 

Eds: The only way you'll be disappointed is if I refuse to fuck you at all

Stevie: Well then, maybe I'd have to fuck you 

Eds is typing... 

Eds is typing... 

Shit. They'd danced around the idea of Steve topping but neither of them had said they wanted to do it. The truth was, Steve was dying to get inside Eddie. He'd watched Eddie fuck himself enough to know he loved the feeling, to know he wanted to be the one making his boyfriend beg for more, the one to fill him up. But maybe Eddie didn't want... 

Eds: First time for everything

Oh. Had he never...? Unless he meant just with him?

Stevie: Promise it'll be worth the wait

Eds: I have no doubt about that, baby 

Stevie: Want to make you feel so good. Like you do for me. 

Eds: You always make me feel good 

A picture of Eddie's cum covered cock appears, Steve's fingers wrapped around it. 

Eds: See

Stevie: Wanna make you feel good with my cock

Eds: I do like your cock... 

Oh my god. This might actually happen. The thought was enough to have Steve hard, he teased himself a little and took a picture. 

Well, Eddie was just asking for that. 

Stevie: All yours 

Eds: Let's see how long you last before you're begging for me to fill you up

Stevie: Maybe you'll be just as much of a slut for my cock as I am for yours... 

Eds: Would you like that? Me begging you to fuck me, begging you to fill me up, being a needy little bitch? 

Stevie: Maybe. I just want to make you feel how I do. You should get that too

Eds: Like fucking you doesn't feel like heaven on Earth as it is... 

Stevie: Believe me, I know how much you like my ass, I've seen your face when you're inside me. But I've also watched you fuck yourself solo, over and over. You like it too

Eds: Are we really doing this? 

Stevie: Do I need to beg? 

Eds: You know I'd never say no to a little gentle persuasion from you s weetheart 

Steve switched his phone to selfie mode, checked his hair was looking suitably messed up - just how Eddie liked it - and licked his lips, leaving them a little glossy. Not quite lip gloss, but it was something. Then he hit record. 

"I'm here all hard and alone, thinking about you".

He tipped the camera down to show as he gently palmed the bulge in his sweatpants before sweeping back to his face. 

"All I can think about is pushing you down on this bed and getting my fingers inside you. I bet you'll take me so well. I want to fuck you so badly, Eds. I want to be inside you. I want to hear you scream from my cock. You know how needy I get. I need this Eddie. I need you so much. I want to show you how much I..." he paused and swallowed."...want you". Don't fucking ruin the moment with your stupid feelings, Steve. Hopefully his eyes didn't give him away. "Will you let me? Please". 

He hit send. 

Oh god. Now he'd said it out loud, it hit Steve how much he wanted this. How much he wanted to make Eddie his, as much as Eddie had with him. He had given Eddie so many of his firsts, he wanted this one. 

Eds: If you're not begging for my cock, you're begging for my ass. Sure know how to make a guy feel wanted. 

Stevie: That a yes? 

No reply. Fucking tease. He was going to get to fuck Eddie. Holy fuck. Holy. Fuck. I can do this right?! 

Eds: What do you think? 

A clip. One Steve hadn't seen. Eddie had a dildo suctioned onto the headboard of his bed, and was pushing his ass back into it. He was naked, on all fours, his thick hair hanging down over his face as he fucked back and forth. "Fuck. Stevie. That's it. Right there". A rumbling growl before it cut off. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I can't wait to hear the fucking filth he comes out with while I'm fucking him for real. 

Stevie: I think you're going to be the biggest cock slut of all

Eds: We both know you wear that crown with pride. I'd never take that away from you

Stevie: We'll see...

Eds: Watch your mouth brat or I might change my mind

Stevie: I can always beg some more... 

Stevie: get on my knees

Stevie: show you what my mouth is good for

Eds: Don't worry darling. You can suck my cock all you want later. Know you'll need at least one of your holes filling. But for now forget all that and DO YOUR GODDAMM ESSAY

Stevie: That's hardly likely now

Eds: You have the ultimate incentive. 2000 words done or I'm putting my chastity pants on

Stevie: You wouldn't... 

Eds: You're right. I wouldn't. Why would I deprive myself because you didn't do the work? 2000 words done or I fuck myself in front of you

He resent the clip of him fucking the dildo attached to the bed. 

Eds: Just. Like. This

Stevie: You little shit

Eds: You can thank me later 😉 now get the fuck on with it

Steve sighed. Sitting down and writing about how to promote the healing of stubborn tendon injuries literally made him want to cry. Writing didn't come easily to Steve, especially when the subject was so fucking dry. There was nothing he wanted to do less right now and Eddie knew that. But how the fuck did he know Steve so well already to know the only thing that would get him to focus was him? There was nothing Steve wouldn't do to get closer to Eddie, nevermind the prize on offer tonight. Right, first coffee, then let's fucking nail this down. 

***

Five hours, three coffees, two candy bars and one emotional meltdown later, Steve sank into a hot bath, cold beer in hand and 2754 words under his belt. Eddie needed to bribe him into working more often. He closed his eyes, sipping the beer slowly as he imagined what Eddie might say when he got home. You did so well, baby. I'm proud of you. Such a good boy. Fuck, he hoped so. He was getting hard just imagining Eddie showering him in praise. Why am I such a fucking weirdo? 

He didn't have to wait long before he heard the telltale click of the front door and Eddie's heavy footsteps as he called out "Hey baby. You still working?" 

"I'm in the bath" 

"Please tell me my plan worked and that you're not currently drowning yourself in sorrow?" 

"2754 words Eds! And it's actually pretty decent" 

"That's ma' boy" Eddie grinned as he swaggered into the bathroom. "Knew you could do it" 

Steve flushed. "Glad one of us did" 

"Happy to be your cheerleader" Eddie smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

"Do many cheerleaders threaten to withhold sexual favours from the team if they don't win?" 

"An underused but clearly very effective method"

Eddie yanked his shirt over his head and unbuckled his jeans, kicking them off into the corner along with his underwear. He was all lithe lines and tattoos, exquisite, perfect. Steve honestly thought he was going to have a panic attack the first time he saw Eddie's V line, like a goddam arrow guiding Steve in the direction of his cock. 

"Shuffle up" Eddie smirked, hands pressed gently on his boyfriend's back. Steve slid forward, allowing Eddie to step into the bath before resting back between his slender legs. "Thanks for making me do it" he murmured, his fingers running idly across Eddie's knees. 

"You like it when I make you do things?" Eddie purred in his ear.

Steve nodded against his chest. "Yeah"

"Why's that?" he challenged

"You always know exactly what I need. I want to be good for you. Want to show you I can be a good boy" 

Eddie growled. "You're the best boy, Stevie". His lips brushed lightly against the back of his neck. "You'll do anything I ask" 

"Anything for you" 

"Such a good boy".

A choked groan escaped Steve's lips before he could stop it. "Say it again". 

"Such a good boy for me. So proud of you". 

Fuck. He was hard, so hard it was fucking painful. He could feel Eddie getting hard against his back but he resisted the urge to grind back into it. 

"Although", Eddie contemplated, his tone light and playful, "does doing something only because you're so desperate to fuck me sound like something a good boy would do?" 

His lips were dancing over Steve's neck and ears now, his hands running up and down his sides. 

"That sounds like something a bad boy would do, Stevie. Are you a bad boy?" 

"Not bad. Just want you so much. Want to show you how much" 

"Not a bad boy then. Just needy" 

A mumble of agreement from Steve. "So needy" 

He wrapped his hand around Steve's throbbing cock under the water. "Want me so bad?" 

Steve writhed under his touch. "Would do anything" 

"Can't wait to get your cock inside me? Fuck me like one of your girls? Make me all wet for you?" 

Please. Please. Please. 

"Uh huh". 

"Do you know I listened to you fuck one of your girls?" 

Girls seemed like a distant memory to Steve. Another life; now a wholly unfamiliar desire. Sex before he knew what sex could be. 

"Ages ago. Christmas time maybe?" Eddie pondered. "I listened to you fuck her whilst I fucked myself. 'Oh Steve! Steve!'", high pitched and mocking. "She seemed to enjoy it..." 

He remembered the girl. Emily. Cute enough. Visiting her friends for the weekend. A safe bet. No ties. No expectations. She definitely DID enjoy it. 

"Did you like it? Listening?" Steve asked, thinking about how hot he'd gotten hearing Eddie fuck those guys.

"Fucking hated it. Didn't want anyone's hands on you but mine" Eddie spat out with a sneer. 

Fuck. Eddie did truly want him as HIS. 

"Wanted it to be me"

"I wish I'd known" 

Fuck. It felt safe to be so honest when Eddie was behind him, shy eyes not needing to avoid one and another for fear of giving too much away. There was still so much he wanted to say but wouldn't. Couldn't. I fucking love you. Take all I have. Love me. Own me. 

"It's always going to be you now" he whispered quietly, then, feeling the weight in the air between them, laughed, "You've fucking ruined me for anyone else". 

"Damn fucking right. No going back now. Might as well tattoo Property of E. MUNSON' across your back". 

"I could go for that"

"Oh, hell no. Couldn't taint this" he hummed against Steve's neck, his fingers trailing down his back. "You're a fucking work of art"

Steve shivered under his touch. 

"Although...". There was mischief in his tone. "I know just how to show everyone you're mine... " he continued, before sucking a deep purple bruise just below his ear. Steve moaned at the sensation and tipped his head back, exposing the long stretch of his throat as Eddie decorated his skin, a sea of grey and purple, circles and crescents, adding to the smattering of moles. 

He could feel Eddie's cock nudging insistently against his back. 

"Let's finish up. I can't reach all the parts of you I want to mark up while we're in here. Give me a few minutes yeah?" 

Steve reluctantly stood up, bereft from leaving the comforting combination of the hot water and Eddie's body. He bent down for a kiss, tongue licking into Eddie's mouth as their lips pressed messily together. His cock was throbbing, ready. 

He wrapped a towel around his body, cock not easily disguised, and left one next to the bath. 

"Don't be long" 

"Absolutely. You 100% cannot be trusted to be alone when you're this horny" 

"No touching?" 

"No touching"

Steve huffed then flushed as Eddie read his mind, "And no rubbing your cock against the bed like a needy little slut".

"Fiiiiiiiine" 

He dropped the towel as he walked out the bathroom, wiggling his ass at Eddie with a smile. 

"You're a menace" 

"If you say so..." 

Steve went into his room and flicked on the lamp, before flopping back on the bed, hands out of harms way, pressed behind his head. 

The weight of the moment felt huge. It had always been Eddie's game, his rules, and those rules served Steve so well but they both knew who was in charge. Steve felt giddy at the prospect of seeing Eddie relinquish control, desperate to see him fall apart on his cock. Maybe he'll even beg? Oh, fuck, please. 

Steve was playing through scenarios in his head when Eddie walked in. He straddled Steve, kissing him deeply and grinding their cocks together, both deliriously hard. 

He dragged his lips across Steve's chest, leaving the promised trail of destruction. Eddie's proof of ownership. Mine. "I'll have to get a picture of you like this. No one in any fucking doubt who you belong to". 

"Show them your cock in my ass, then they'd really see. Show them my face when you fuck me. No fucking doubt I'm yours. No one else could fuck me the way you do" 

"Oh, you'd fucking love that. Fucking you in front of everyone. Let them see you're mine"

"I'd let them hear how you make me scream" 

Oh fuck. Eddie was right. He was absolutely aching to have Eddie inside him, always so desperate to get fucked. 

As Eddie inched closer to his leaking dick, biting and sucking on the hard flesh of his inner high, Steve pulled his legs up and away, rolling off the side of the bed. 

"Hey! I wasn't finished"

"Need to stop. Wanted to try something" Steve explained, stepping behind Eddie's ass. 

"Oh yeah? Getting a bit too cock hungry...? Quelle fucking surprise!" 

"Maybe a little. But... well, you asked if I wanted to fuck you like one of my girls. Make you wet. Well, if you were, 'one of my girls', I'd start by eating you out"

"This isn't a sweet pussy, Stevie" Eddie chuckled, pulling his cheeks apart and circling his rim with his middle finger. 

"But you don't have a pussy. This is how I'm gonna fuck you and I want to taste every part of you". He sucked two fingers into his mouth then slid them down Eddie's crack to his perenium before pressing firmly. "Please?" 

"Steve Harrington is begging to eat my ass. I have literally ascended. There is no way this is real" 

Steve smirked but didn't move. "So, can I?" 

Eddie hauled himself further up the bed, onto his hands and knees. 

"Whatever the slut wants, the slut gets. Can never say no to you, pretty boy" 

Steve grinned. He was fucking good with his tongue and he knew it. Back in high school, he spent many hours with his face buried under cheer skirts. Licking, sucking, finger fucking, and, holy shit, did practice make perfect. He could pretty much get a girl from zero to cumming on his tongue in a matter of minutes. Here was his time to shine. 

He started tentative, teasing, little flicks of the tongue, circling the rim, gentle kisses. Eddie's ass wiggled in response, flinches, gasps, breathy. Then things got more messy, wetter, pressing the flat of his tongue against Eddie's taint, he dragged it all the way up, beginning to tease the tip of his tongue inside Eddie, probing gently. His hands were digging firmly into Eddie's cheeks, dragging them apart as he tried to capture every inch. 

"Fuck, Stevie. I'm fucking dripping on the bed" 

Well, if that wasn't the hottest thing he'd ever heard? "Want me try try and get you to come just from my tongue in your ass" 

Eddie groaned. "Yes, yes, absolutely, yes. But not now. Another time. I need you to fuck me baby. Can you do that for me, baby boy? 

"Now, who is needy?" 

"You like it?" 

Steve swept away the precum beading on his swollen tip and reached his fingers around to push into Eddie's mouth, at the same moment that he pushed his tongue a little further into Eddie. 

"Jesus Fucking Christ, Stevie" 

As much as he wanted to drive his tongue deeper, he shared Eddie's desperation to fuck him, so he dialled it back, kisses, licks, the occasional suck, as he began to slide his lubed finger into Eddie, who's face was now smashed against the bed, fists grasping the duvet as his ass raised skywards. 

"Another, " Eddie grunted and barely flinched when the second digit slipped in. One hand pushing deep into Eddie and the other absentmindedly stroking little circles against his hip. 

"More". His voice was dripping with desparation, pushing himself back against Steve's fingers, chasing more. A third finger. Deeper. Pressing ever so gently into his walls, quirking, twisting, opening him up. Steve's second hand snaked around the front, ghosting across Eddie's swollen cock, rewarded with a choked groan. 

"Baby. Fuck me. You need to get your cock in me right now or I swear to fucking God, I'm gonna..." 

Steve grasped Eddie's slender hips tight and pulled him back, straight onto his cock. A sensation he had imagined but was wholly unprepared for. "Holy fuck, Eddie. You're so fucking tight. This is.. How... Fuck". Deeper. Fingers digging into hips. Deeper still. It was unbearable, it was everything. He was buried to the hilt in Eddie, closer than he ever thought possible for two people to be and Eddie was gently rocking his ass back and forth. "That's it, baby". 

"I thought I was fucking you" 

Eddie laughed. "I can use you like a toy if you want?" 

"No". Steve pushed the small of Eddie's back down, until his whole body was pressed into the bed, face down, ass up, stuffed full of him. Steve lay on top of Eddie, skin to skin, every part touching, bodies slick with sweat, licking, biting, kissing. Eddie tried to lift his hips off the bed, pushing back onto Steve's cock and it was met by an unforgiving thrust, driving him back down. Steve fucked into him slow and deep, allowing Eddie the tilt of the hips that meant he was able to hit that sweet spot. Over and over. Little whispers. So good. You're so beautiful. Perfect. Want you. 

Eddie grabbed his hand and sucked Steve's fingers into his mouth, eyes practically rolling back, incoherent.

"feelsogood...sofuckinggood....msoclose"

Steve's mouth was on his shoulder, his neck, whispering into his ear. Legs entwined, a tangle of bodies, joined in heat. "Think you can come like this?" 

A grunt Steve took to mean yes. Steve pressed one arm against the bed, bracing himself so he could fuck faster, deeper. "fillmeup... Wannafeelit", Eddie was practically begging. Steve grabbed Eddie's hair and twisted his face round to kiss him, wet, wild, messy. Eyes closed, drifting. He wanted to kiss him through it, capture Eddie's moans in his mouth as he came undone. 

"Gonna come", Steve exhaled, fucking relentlessly through his orgasm, spilling deep into Eddie, their mouths, bodies, inseperable, hands now intertwined. The hot sensation, the continued pulse of Steve inside him, the overwhelming closeness between them, sent Eddie hurtling towards his own end, spilling onto the bed beneath him. "I'm... Fuck.... baby". Steve kissed him hungrily as he sank into the moment, cock throbbing, ass clenching, heart pounding in his ears. 

Neither of them moved an inch for a long while, sinking into the moment, sticky with sweat and cum, bodies melded. "I never wanted to do this with anyone before you", Eddie breathed,  cloaked in post orgasmic bliss, guard down, heart and mouth wide open. 

"Thank you for trusting me" Steve whispered. "Glad it was me". 

"Loved you inside me". That got a twitch from Steve's cock, still joined with Eddie. "Loved you on me. Made me feel so wanted, Stevie". 

Steve whimpered. "You are. Always" 

"Made me feel loved", Eddie ventured, a hint of hesitancy shaking in his voice. 

Fuck it. "You are. Always" 

Eddie wriggled out from under Steve, flipping them both into their sides with a little possessive growl, mouth touching, cocks touching, a wanting kiss, needy, eager, pouring into one and other everything they desperately wanted to say. I love you. I love you. Nobody else but you. Want you forever. Just us. 

"Give me a second" Eddie said pulling away as he reached over to grab his phone from the bedside table. "I want a picture of us like this. Want to remember the moment we stopped pretending we weren't hideously in love with one another". He caught the perfect shot, as a huge grin cracked across Steve's face, pure sunshine, wrapped up together, happy, loved, complete. 

**** And that's a wrap! Hope you've enjoyed reading along :)

[loveandthings11]

How Deep My Love Goes, Chapter 11

Read on AO3 Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10

Fic Summary: A Kenrava-focused fix-it alongside canon 💗

Nobody Stays Missing

Two minutes after Kendall has taken his first steps out the door and toward Logan to deliver the letter, Rava sits down and turns her attention to her case for as long as she can before everything blows up. She taps her pen against her laptop keyboard and glances back and forth from her scribbled notes to her typed ones, trying in vain to find the missing piece of her case- written evidence from the company of the years of stolen wages. She looks over her client Tony Trume’s latest distressed email, concerned about his coworker friend and wondering if he’s in danger himself. 

She drops her face into her hands for a moment, wishing she knew an expert in international corporate law. She briefly thinks of Gerri and hesitates. The questions alone would sound like an accusation of having been on the wrong side of cases like this before, and Kendall is about to be at war with Waystar. Rava looks at her phone and thinks maybe she could just ask a quick hypothetical, one lawyer to another. Gerri doesn’t know what’s happening with Kendall yet, she’d still pick up the phone- for the next five minutes. She takes a breath and presses her name. Gerri answers on the first ring. 

“Gerri Kellman.”

“Gerri, hi. It’s Rava.” She can practically hear Gerri’s eyebrows go up.

“Rava? Um, hi, how are you? Enjoying the festivities?”

“Oh, yeah. You know, the Roy joys.” She sounds forced and she knows it.

“Uh-huh.”

“Well,” Rava continues, “I actually have a hypothetical for you- having nothing to do with Waystar, just a case thing. Can I run something by you? I’m no expert in corporate law.”

“Oh. Sure, go ahead,” Gerri answers with slight confusion. Rava wonders how much time she has before Kendall gets to Logan’s room with the letter. While Rava details the situation, Gerri stays quiet.

“So, that’s it,” Rava finishes. “Stolen wages for years, a whistleblower who went missing, and a new whistleblower who is terrified that the same thing is going to happen to him. If a situation like that were to occur, what would be the best way to proceed, do you think? I’m, uh… a little lost, but you know this stuff.” Rava smiles into that last part, an effort to curry favor with a woman she knows gets too little credit. Gerri takes a moment.

“Honestly? If I were the attorney on this, well, I wouldn’t be. This kind of thing tends to be bad for everyone except the company you’re after. Look out for yourself here. Nobody will be kind to your reputation if you lose this, and I’m sorry to say it, but you will probably lose this.”

Rava feels a bit of the chill she’d feared. Gerri probably ate cases like this for lunch twenty years ago. She blinks and considers for a moment. She knows she probably only has seconds left before Gerri finds out what Kendall’s done. She can almost hear his footsteps.

“Are you saying that because you’re general counsel for an international company, or because you believe it?”

Gerri sighs and Rava hears a phone vibration on the other end. 

“Both.” She pauses. “Fuck. Look, I’m sorry, I think you know what I have to go deal with-“

“Right, yeah. I appreciate you hearing me out.”

“Sure. Bye, Rava.”

The end of the call sounds final. They’re on opposite sides now. Regret starts to creep up as Rava wonders if hearing that was worth the risk of letting someone else in on her case. She looks at her phone and decides to calm down by taking a look at the photos of the wedding party from just an hour before. She’d asked the photographer to take a couple of shots on her phone of just her and Kendall. She’d run up just in the nick of time and slipped in next to him. He’d smiled and whispered, “Thank God, Shiv just asked if I was hallucinating you coming here.” The camera had caught him whispering in her ear and her laughing. She hopes this bear hug works so Logan can officially be out of the way and she can see Kendall’s smile all the time. It warms her chest even to think about how happy he’ll be when he’s finally in charge. 

……………..

“That was really hard.” Kendall stares into the void as the image of Logan’s eyes floats in his head. Filled with anger, shock, disapproval… pride? That’s probably too hopeful. Stewy pats his knee.

“I know. You did it, man. Hey.” Kendall glances up at him. “You fuckin’ did it.” He nods. He can’t remember how to smile right now.

“I fucked my sister’s wedding.”

Stewy rolls his eyes but keeps his tone gentle.

“Well, I’m sure you won’t fuck the next one. Now you’ve learned who to trust. Me. Not Frank. Maybe not Ro-Ro, as much as it hurts.” Kendall looks down. 

“You literally told me not to trust you,” he mutters. Stewy chooses not to hear that and Kendall continues. “But, yeah, it’s not our fault Roman didn’t answer the phone. I had to act or the whole thing would’ve fallen apart. I know he wasn’t expecting it to happen today, obviously- uh, well, none of us were.”

“Yeah, thanks for that, Ken, by the way.” Kendall ignores him. 

“And we don’t even know if he ignored the call on purpose,” Kendall continues. “Maybe he did hear about the press leak and he thought he could change teams at the last minute. Just detach himself and run right back to Dad?” Kendall presses his lips together in stress and slumps forward while he worries.

“You didn’t ask your Dad if Roman had come to him?” Stewy inquires before realizing Kendall could probably barely make himself say the part he planned. “Okay- no, I get it, that was enough for you.” He switches to an easy vibe to keep them both calm. “Honestly, Roman was probably too busy getting fucked up to answer, he’s sick of this shit. Probably the most he’s worked in his entire life,” he laughs. Kendall feels queasy not knowing the answer and Stewy wants to pull them both out of the worrying. “But who cares? Time to celebrate. Drinks!” He gets up and pours himself a generous glass of scotch from the crystal bottle on the nearby mahogany table, opening his jacket and taking out a little plastic bag like they both always used to carry. Kendall visibly shrinks back and shakes his head. 

“Come on, man, again?” Kendall tries, wondering how it’s possible that he still doesn’t get it. Stewy rolls his eyes.

“If you don’t want any, just turn that way.” He gestures toward the wall and pours a bit of coke onto the table. Kendall inhales sharply and gets up and walks toward the door. 

“I can’t be in here if you’re gonna do that.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Stewy says as he cuts up a line and snorts it. 

That’s it.

“It IS a fucking big deal,” Kendall spits out, prompting Stewy’s slow head turn toward him, standing right at the door facing away. He’s been putting up with this for years and now is not a relaxing moment. Now is the time when it’s hardest to say no and Stewy should have known that. He focuses on the carved wood on the door, counting the almost invisible marks in the grain.

“Dude. Relax, I’ll put it away,” Stewy says. Kendall closes his eyes and doesn’t want to turn around. He hates feeling like people think he’s a buzzkill, but he just can’t take it. Stewy looks over at him and puts the bag back in his jacket. “Ken. It’s fine, you can turn around.” He reluctantly does. “It’s all good, man. We’re doing this.” There’s a pause. “Hey. Like we always planned, yeah?” Kendall nods. 

“Yeah.” He looks at the wall and the floor. “I gotta go, the fam’s waiting.” He reaches for the doorknob.

“Ken.” Stewy tilts his head and tries to look at him. Kendall wishes anyone he knew knew how to apologize.

“It’s fine. I’m good.”

Stewy looks at him, feeling discontented with a hint of regret.

“Really? Is this actually about this, or about the vote? Are we good?”

Kendall shrugs.

“Sure.” He opens the door and shuts it behind him. He turns and almost runs into Iverson on the gravelly path, trailed by Rava and Sophie a little ways back.

“Hey!” Rava calls as Iverson walks over to him first. “We were just looking for you.” Kendall leans down to give Iverson a hug. 

“That picture you drew is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” he says seriously. “I mean that.” His son smiles and Kendall looks up at Rava and Sophie as they get closer.

“Hey,” he says. He knows he sounds spent and he feels like it. Rava’s eyes widen.

“You okay? How was talking to your dad?” She looks apprehensive but hopeful. Kendall sighs.

“I mean… it’s done, so, yeah.” He stands up and they all start walking back toward their room. 

“And…?” 

“I don’t know. That was just-“ he sighs again. Everything always has to pile on at once. His dad will never forgive him. He’s in a fight with Stewy. He can’t believe he’s going to have to face the entire family hating him at Shiv’s wedding, to face Roman thinking he cut him out on purpose and possibly turning against him. “Is it- can I just not talk about it right now?”

“Sure,” Rava says with concern as he gazes at the road in front of them. “It’s good we’re going back to the room before the festivities start.” The festivities. He can’t imagine wanting to go to a wedding reception later. He nods. The room sounds good. He hopes it’s quiet.

The kids want to continue their walk, so Bianca takes them out. Kendall and Rava enter back into their suite, all heavy wood and velvet upholstery in jewel tones of deep green and blue. Kendall pulls off his shoes as Rava steps down from her heels. He gazes at the grand canopy bed and wants to lie down more than anything. He fiddles with his jacket and Rava gives him a warm look. 

“Are you worrying about wrinkling your suit?” He glances down with a small smile. She knows him so well. “Maybe if you just lie really still,” she suggests jokingly. He gives in and hangs up his jacket, walking back and lying down on his back staring up at the ceiling for a minute. She sits down next to him and looks over. She can’t take the suspense anymore. She has to know something. She starts with an easy question.

“So, um- did he yell? When you gave him the letter?”

Kendall exhales.

“Yeah.”

She puts her hand on his arm, a gentle reminder that she knows how hard that is for him. He turns his head away and tries to mentally float away from the memory.

“And… I mean, what did he say?”

“He wouldn’t even read it.” She winces a little. “I told him.” He closes his eyes and she smiles a bit sadly.

“Well… you did it.”

“Uh huh.” She rubs his arm.

“It’ll be okay,” she assures him. He keeps his eyes closed.

“Yeah? Do you have any proof?” 

She chuckles a little. 

“Only proof that it’s always ended up okay.” He opens his eyes slowly. She’s not wrong. She wonders if she should tell him about the talk she’d had with Gerri, but thinks now is not the time. It’s not the right day to mention anyone at Waystar. She decides on someone safer. “Hey, does Stewy want to join us and head over to cocktail hour later?” She figures he’s on the team now and his presence might be a positive distraction from the Logan mess. Kendall squirms a little at the thought of explaining and hopes he can just keep his distance from Stewy for the rest of the day.

“Uh, no. No, he’s- let’s just go with the kids.”

“Okay.” She looks at him expectantly. “Everything okay there? He’s still on board and everything?”

“Yeah. Yeah, he’s in.” He’s quiet for a second.

“Did something happen? What’s wrong?” She asks.

“Nothing, just-“ He briefly wishes he had the ability to hide small things like this from her and resigns himself to the fact that she’s too perceptive for that. Sometimes it’s a relief that she can read him like a book, but not at the moment. “He just- lives in the past sometimes. You know?” She gives him a confused look.

“No, what does that-“ She closes her eyes for a second as it hits her. “Jesus Christ. In the room with you? He’s doing drugs right in front of you?” She massages her temples. “I really might kill him, Ken.”

“No, it’s- you know, it’s fine. I mean, he stopped when I asked- when I told him to.”

She shakes her head and looks down at him.

“You shouldn’t have to tell him to,” she says. How anyone could want to make recovery harder for him than it already is is beyond her. Kendall looks at her and implores her with his eyes.

“Don’t say anything. Just- let it be. He’s not gonna change. I can’t have any more enemies right now.”

“Right. So it’s fine that for the next year you’re going to be having meetings at powder-covered conference tables? I don’t think so.” They hear the door open from the living room of the suite and Bianca’s keys jingle. “It’s not just about what you’re okay with,” she says, glancing in the direction of the door where the kids are. They share a meaningful look and he takes a deep breath.

“Yeah. I’ll deal with it.”

She nods, but she’s simmering beneath her placid surface. She considers the dynamic between Kendall and Stewy. Kendall gave Stewy another chance after he abstained from the vote. Stewy didn’t seem concerned that abstaining might end their friendship. He gave Kendall the money, but that just gave him more power over him. As far she Rava can tell, Stewy has the upper hand and Kendall isn’t going to say anything that could jeopardize their coalition. But this is just too important. There is no coalition if everyone in it is high out of their minds. She won’t lose him to a company or an overgrown fraternity.

“You know, I think I left my scarf at the ceremony, I’ll be right back.” She pats his shoulder and gets up, heading back down the path to the room she found him walking out of. She swings open the door and is suddenly alone with Stewy, who is disconcerted as he looks up from the slightly powdery table where his laptop is.

“What on earth were you thinking?” She hisses. Stewy drops his head back and sighs. “Remember Sophie and Iverson, his children? I would think as his supposed best friend you would care whether he can see them?”

“He tattled on me? Jesus… come on, you’re not taking the kids,” he says sarcastically. The cavalier attitude makes her want to scream. She closes her eyes in frustration and memories she hates start to come up. She doesn’t know how to get through to him except to bring him back.

“I- I mean, you were there. Covered his face from the photographers? Sat with me in the fucking ambulance? Promised me this would never happen again? ‘Never again.’ That’s what you said from the doorway of the hospital room you were too scared to come into. Remember any of that? Or have you obliterated all those brain cells?” She scoffs. 

Stewy tries to keep his usual cool , but she can tell she’s getting to him. It had been the only time she’d ever heard him say ‘I’m sorry.’ He’s rarely at a loss for words and he doesn’t like being guilt-tripped. She doesn’t need to play dirty and he resents her acting like it’s his fault Kendall has a problem. The defensiveness combines with the coke and spills out for a moment.

“Stop, it is not a big deal.” Rava’s eyes widen and he hears himself and backtracks a little. “Yeah, I know. I remember.” He can’t bring himself to get deep right now and just wants her to go so he can get the evening started. “I’ve already gotten my scolding for the day. I got it. Okay? No more. I seriously did not think he’d care.” He starts walking out but can’t quite stop himself from turning back around to face her. “You know, it’s not my fault he can’t handle his shit like I can.”

“Can you?” She asks pointedly. She gestures to the table, clearly not yet cleaned. “I mean, can you not?”

He rolls his eyes but it takes a second.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine,” he says.

“Well, sometimes I do.”

“You worry about me. Because you care?” He asks airily, sarcasm almost masking curiosity.

She takes a second. He doesn’t have many people looking out for him.

“Yes, Stewy. Because I have the burden of worrying and caring about other people.”

“Oh, right. That must be terrible,” he deadpans. The corners of her mouth turn up nearly imperceptibly.

“Sometimes.” They look at each other. “You know, if you ever want to talk about it, I have experience in being supportive,” she offers carefully.

“You should save that for the guy who needs it,” he says, not unkindly, but not without defensiveness.

“Okay. Whatever you say.” She takes a step toward the door and looks over her shoulder at him. “Never again.”

Stewy nods and mets her gaze for a second.

“Yeah. Never again.”

Rava strides back into the suite and finds Kendall standing just inside the bedroom waiting for her. She stops short as she sees her pashmina draped over his arm.

“Found your scarf.” He raises his eyebrows and looks at her coolly. “I told you I would deal with him,” he says iin disbelief.

“Well, to be honest-“

“You didn’t think I would so you went behind my back.”

“Ken-“ 

He shakes his head.

“That’s great, Rava. You know, if you want to treat someone like a kid, we have two of them.” She rolls her eyes.

“Right. Because that’s what this is.”

“No, what this actually sounds like to me is you having no faith that I can do what I promise. You said that phase was over. ‘New phase.’ But it’s not. You don’t even think I can stand up for myself with someone I’ve known forever? So- so what else do you not think I can do?”

She hears the freakout and sighs, keeping her voice even.

“Okay. I’m not doing this. You’re talking to yourself, you know that? It’s you who’s worried you’re not up to the job, or staying clean, or whatever you’re referring to, not me. And if you want to talk about that, I am here. But Stewy and I are fine.” He’s getting more wound up by the second, feeling the tension of the day coming back after his brief attempt at relaxation.

“You don’t know what I’m thinking.”

“Well, fine. I’m sorry for caring so much about keeping you safe that I’ll go talk to someone who is putting you in danger.”

He scoffs. “Stewy? Okay. I don’t need you to keep me safe, I can take care of myself.”

A silence louder than their voices fills the room.

“Got it. New phase.” She raises her eyebrows and walks toward the door. He sighs and follows after her. Distance is not the phase he meant.

“Well, I didn’t- I- no,” he starts. She feels self-conscious and crosses her arms. “I love that you care.” He comes closer and hesitantly places his hand on her arm. “I love this,” he gestures between them. “I just- just let me deal with my own stuff.” She nods without looking at him. She reprimands herself for wanting to be needed so badly. There’s some relationship book she’d read making her out to be a bad partner for that- for viewing him as someone to fix or save. They haven’t seen his eyes, she’d thought, but she knew they had a point. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry,” she says blandly. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out on your own.” She meant it to sound genuine, but it just makes him sigh. He didn’t mean actually alone. She brushes her hand down his arm and steps away a little bit. “You go ahead to the reception. I’ll catch up later with the kids.” She can feel that he’s upset but she can’t look.

“You’re- you’re skipping cocktail hour? Rava.” 

But she’s walking back into the room already. She knows she shouldn’t do this, but her skin is crawling at the whole situation and she wants to be alone. But it’s the last thing he wants. He can’t believe that she won’t admit she’s wrong and he doesn’t even know who he can talk to at this stupid cocktail hour where there are no cocktails for him. He wishes he could summon that little plastic bag and anything else that might numb him. He feels guilty as he wonders if he’ll ever stop missing Macallan 30. 

Reluctantly, he drags himself into the section of the stone manor that houses this part of the event and puts his hands in his pockets as he passes under the huge wooden archway of the door. He thought he was done making awkward event entrances by himself. He’s almost afraid to look around because he might accidentally make eye contact with someone who wants to kill him, but he quickly glances up to see if Roman’s around- and sees Caroline heading his way. Oh, good. Her smile is gleeful.

“Kendall.” She kisses his cheek. 

“Hi, Mom.” He prepares himself for whatever barbs are coming at him.

“I heard you ruined your father’s day before he even got into his suit,” she titters. “I’m so proud.” He tries not to take the much-needed comment seriously.

“Yeah. Thanks.” The last time they’d talked alone, four months ago, was when Kendall had called to try to connect with her on a lonely Saturday. He was looking forward to the CEO announcement and wanted to share it with someone. Caroline had sounded highly doubtful that Logan would keep his word and it had made him bite his nails and lose sleep for a night. She’d assured him it would be better for him to get out and he’d attempted to explain why that was literally unthinkable. He’d tried to throw in a bit about missing Rava and his eventual plan to win her back, and she’d told him how smart she’d always thought Rava was to stay out of the Roy fray. Kendall had felt stung and wondered why he always kept trying with his mom. He looks cautiously at her as she continues.

“Where’s Rava? Haven’t you gotten her enough staff for her to come join the fun?”

“Yes, Mom. She’ll be here. I guess.”

She looks pleasantly amused and takes a sip of her champagne. Kendall looks at the glass enviously. 

“So, how long do you give it?” His eyes flash up at her. Even he has a limit.

“How long do I give us?” He asks incredulously. “Really?”

“No!” Caroline laughs again, light and tinged with the discomfort of a life of never being taken seriously. “Your sister and Tom.” He takes a breath.

“Oh.” Nice not to be the target. “Uh, I don’t know, until she convinces Dad to make Tom head of whatever the fuck and she finds out that’s all he wanted?”

“Are you going to promote Tom if you win this little game you’re playing with Logan?”

“It’s not a game.” She looks slightly suspicious and Kendall feels more annoyed than ever at the fact that Logan thinks they’re just playing chess. “And as for Tom, as much as I love social climbers…” he trails off as he sees Rava coming through the room’s grand entryway in her blue silk dress. She starts a conversation with the people next to her and doesn’t look around for him. Caroline follows his gaze.

“So what did you do?” She asks. “The au pair?” He shuts his eyes and sighs. 

“Jesus. Obviously not.”

“So now poor Rava’s stuck with the kids and doesn’t come to cocktail hour on time?” He looks miserable. “Always the serious one,” she almost laughs and he wishes she would be serious for one second. She pats his hand. “But the handsome one, too. I’m sure you could do better than that nanny. Lord knows your father always did.” Kendall remembers feeling sorry for her once it occurred to him around age fourteen that Logan kept mistresses at the other residences where he occasionally stayed. 

“Okay, Mom. That’s not- no. I’m not Dad.” 

“No, no, of course not. Only joking.” She tilts her head down and raises her eyebrows. “You could laugh. Not all of us want to be so sullen.” Kendall gives her a dry look and Caroline takes another sip as she looks over at Rava. “Only been a few months since her miraculous return, and she’s all the way over there.” He feels a little lost in resentment. “Careful. The drifting happens before you know what’s hit you.”

Kendall looks at his mom and wishes he could really talk to her, ask her advice and have her give him a hug. He briefly considers the fact that she is referencing a time when she missed Logan and he tries to conjure a memory of his parents laughing or flirting or kissing. A strange sense of pity for both of them settles onto him and he wonders if Caroline ever held Logan the way Rava holds him every night. If Logan would even let her. Stewy’s advice to distance himself from the Enemy echoes in his head as he struggles not to empathize with them.  He’d watched as they’d started to sleep in separate rooms, then separate houses as he got into his late teens. The idea of being distant from Rava that way makes him feel sick.

“Well, we’re not drifting. We’ll figure it out.”

“Of course. So, you give Shiv what- a year?”

“Sure,” he replies. Caroline smiles.

“Come outside with your dear old mum?” She asks, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from her clutch. He glances at them.

“Really trying to quit,” he answers. “For the kids.”

“Oh, you’re no fun anymore,” his mom teases.

“Yeah, that’s what I hear,” he sighs.

“Just one. Or stay here and wait for the feral dogs to come after you,” she says with a twinkle in her eye. "I hear they're all out looking."

He sighs again and turns and follows Caroline outside. He lights her cigarette and stands in the windy air. It’s cold and he buttons up his coat to stop it from prickling his skin through his suit. She hands the cigarette to him and he takes a drag, taking a moment to feel the calm before handing it back and deciding that’s it for the night. He and Rava don’t need another thing to fight about. It’s been weeks and he’s been doing so well. He stares out at the landscape he has so many memories of running in. The feeling of freedom was nice, even if it wasn’t real.

"So, you, uh, just got inspired to get me out of there right on time?" He asks.

"Well, I'm a philanthropist now," she says with a delectable sarcasm.

"Oh yeah?"

"According to Tatler. I wouldn't dare argue with that kind of expertise." He almost chuckles. Did she do something just to be nice?

"Uh-huh."

“You know, your father nearly smacked a waiter tonight, couldn’t have been more than twenty years old.” She says it like she wishes she were surprised. Kendall shakes his head.

“Well, is the kid okay?”

“Oh, he’s all paid off and drove off, that’s the way. No consequences for Logan.”

“Yeah.” Kendall pauses. “Maybe. Maybe there are consequences for him.”

Kendall walks Caroline back into the party and starts carefully wandering into the minefield of a cocktail hour, scanning for Rava. They have to fix this. He hated going to weddings during the separation, even when he was only there for the networking. He used to sit at the table and stare at cake he couldn’t eat during slow songs. Sometimes if the song hit home too hard he’d find an excuse to leave the room. He and Rava always fed each other wedding cake at receptions they attended to recall their own happy day. Loneliness was so much worse when it felt like the memories of his own wedding day were getting rained on. This was the first wedding he’s looked forward to in years- their first as a reunited couple- and he doesn’t want it to be a loss. 

He’s shocked to spot her in the corner with Stewy as well as Kendall’s least favorite board member, Paul. Kendall is under no delusions of who the “friend” was who Stewy had told him wanted Rava. He feels a surge of anger at all three of them- how could Stewy let Paul talk to Rava? How could Rava make up with Stewy before him? How could Paul still be hitting on Rava even after they had officially and very publicly gotten back together?? The way he’s looking and smiling at Rava makes Kendall want to scream. Paul must be twenty years older than them, it’s pathetic. He can see Paul’s eyes flitting to places only he can touch and he has to take a breath so he doesn’t force him to back away. He thinks vengefully about how long Paul will last on the board when he’s CEO. He makes a beeline for their group and tries to stay as smooth as he can. Stewy sees him coming and puts his arm around him once he gets there, patting his back and bringing him into the circle.

“Ken. So glad you made it.” Stewy makes eye contact for a moment. “Seriously.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Kendall answers. We’re good. He swiftly turns to Rava.

“Hi,” he says with a smile at her, kissing her cheek and slipping his arm around her waist. She looks pleasantly surprised at the warmth in what she was expecting to be an awkward moment. He looks at Paul as he wraps his fingers around her side, making sure her body is touching his.

“Paul, good to see you,” he says with what Rava has often joked is his “business smile” as he reaches out his hand to shake Paul’s. She recognizes the expression and tries to hide a grin. This is an entirely different kind of awkward moment.

“You too, Kendall. Hope life outside the Waystar family is serving you well.” Kendall stops himself from rolling his eyes at the obvious dig.

“Yeah. I’m good,” Kendall confirms. 

“Rava was just telling me that you two are heading to Saint-Tropez this season.”

Kendall’s fury at Paul subsides a little at the mention of the couple’s old inside joke- Rava used to tell other people that she and Kendall were going on vacation before she’d ask him so he would have no choice but to take time off and go with her. He looks at Rava and she gives him an apologetic smile. He chuckles. 

“That’s right, I had almost forgotten. But yeah, it’s about time. Pretty over this dreariness. It’s about time to take my wife to the Riviera again.”

“Oh, yeah, well, maybe I’ll see you there. I’m getting a place there this winter too,” Paul replies.

Stewy looks quietly delighted at the passive-aggressive discord and Rava catches his eye for half a second to share in the amusement. The ice between everyone in the circle melts a bit as she leans into Kendall.

“We would love that,” she says. Kendall glances down at her with a hint of a smile. Paul gets the picture and looks at the ice cubes Stewy is lightly swirling. 

“Stewy, can’t have an empty glass. To the bar?”

“Thank God, yes. Excuse us.” Stewy nods and smiles at Kendall and Rava before he walks away. 

Rava looks up at Kendall and hopes he doesn’t let go. His muscles loosen a little but he keeps his arm around her.

“That whole thing with Stewy-“ she starts. “-I should have told you I wanted to talk to him. I got scared, Ken. I don’t think he respects your sobriety. As your friend, he should, so I told him that. We just… hadn’t checked in in a long time. He and I are okay, though. We just needed a minute.” She gives him a hug that he can tell she needs for comfort. He hugs her back and turns his face into her hair. 

“Okay. Yeah- I mean, I don’t know that I really wanted to talk to him about it anyway. I want you guys to be fine though. This is going to be hard if you’re arguing all the time.” They move apart and she shakes her head. 

“No, we won’t. We’re fine now- and I hope he’s going to do better. He knows I want good things for him, too.”

“Okay. Good.” He takes a second. “I really hate fighting with you,” he says quietly. He barely shakes his head for a second. “I don’t want us to, like, drift, you know?” He sighs and searches her eyes before glancing down for a moment. The thought of being distant and cold like his parents is so genuinely upsetting that he can feel a lump forming in his throat. “I’m fucking insanely stressed and I know things are all over the place, but- I don’t want to do things ‘on my own.’ I tried that, you know… and I hated it.”

“Hey, no, no drifting. Come here, Superman.” She pulls him back. “I want you right here all the time,” she lays her hand on the back of his head with her chin over his shoulder. It feels so freeing to say the truth after trying to keep her distance for so long. He breathes in her scent and lets some tension go. He wishes they were already in their room so he wouldn’t have to let go so fast. This day has been exhausting and it’s hitting him. He just wants to curl up in bed and fall asleep to the sound of her breathing.

“That’s what I want too,” he murmurs. He pauses to collect himself before remembering the conversation they’d just been a part of. “That and for Paul to fall off a cliff,” he grumbles, tightening his arms around her and slipping his hands just a bit lower on her back. Rava smiles and decides to egg him on just a little bit.

“Ohhhh, he’s not that bad.”

Kendall pulls back to look at her.

“No?” He asks with just enough humor to keep it low-key. “You don’t see the way that old geezer looks at you? I can’t wait til I don’t need his vote and can fire him Dad-style, whole board watching.”

“Ken,” She stifles a laugh. “That is insane.”

“He was fucking undressing you with his eyes,” he mutters. Rava smiles and presses her chest into him. 

“Well, maybe after the reception I’ll let you undress me with your hands.” 

“Are you flirting with me?” He brushes his cheek against hers and works all the charm he has. She pretends to think.

“I think I might be.” He feels the warmth come back into his body.

“So, reception for, like, not that long?” He laughs. She laughs along and he takes her hand as they walk toward the reception hall. “Are the kids-?”

“With Connor,” she answers.

“Oh, good. They’ll come back teaching us about fucking- cryogenics and conspiracy theories about French history,” he jokes. “Actually though, I’ve always thought he should be a dad.”

Rava shrugs and grins. 

“Maybe he will be. Willa’s not exactly age-appropriate.” He chuckles.

“Yeah. The kids need cousins.” The thought makes him happy and Rava considers what a good job Connor did with his first kid.

……………..

The passive-aggressive toasts that veer toward simply aggressive make Rava shake her head and roll her eyes at Kendall every minute or so, quietly laughing at the pathetic nature of their insults. She’s keeping it light enough that he can ignore most of the jabs in his direction and he’s grateful only to have to listen halfway. It’s hard to distract him when Logan subtly accuses him of ruining the wedding, but he tries to focus on knowing what he’s doing is right. He looks nervously at Roman and is not comforted by his lack of eye contact, which feels purposeful. Kendall can’t decide if he’s being paranoid or not. Next to him, Rava almost catches Gerri's eye, but Gerri deftly avoids looking back. As Rava sips more champagne, her tongue gets more acidic, making him laugh with her sharp comments about everyone’s caustic remarks. He admires how naturally she can lighten a mood, the way she can smooth over the most difficult situations so effortlessly. He’s always wished he had that kind of ease and hopes it somehow soaks into him. During a brief break between toasts, Kendall gets curious about her family politics.

“Hey, how’s everything with your stepdad these days? I know he was kind of being difficult to you around Thanksgiving-“

“And most of the time? You know, he ‘expects my success!’” she imitates. She gives him a twinkle. “But unsurprisingly, he’s been much nicer since I told him we’re back together.” Kendall tries not to let the glow shine through his eyes. He’s unsuccessful and Rava thinks it’s sweet. She knows how much it means to him to get challenging parental approval. “He does love you,” she smiles.

Kendall shrugs in a comically exaggerated way.

“I should be the favorite somewhere, right?” 

She takes his hand under the table and chances a look in Logan’s direction. She catches him calmly looking right at Kendall. The vitriol seems to have left his icy blue eyes, and for a second, she could swear he was just a dad wanting to see his son at a family wedding. 

“Mmm, I wouldn’t discount being number one here either. Not just yet,” she says. 

Kendall decides he likes the premise too much to argue with it, but his stomach twists at the idea that his dad must feel betrayed and furious. He allows himself a millisecond-long glance at his father, who he can see is turning away. He feels a pang of regret and tries to replace it with fortitude, but he’s hit with a wave of desperate wishes to be closer to him, to hear that he’s proud, to get a hug just given out of affection. He thinks about how hard he’s trying to earn his dad’s respect and wonders if he can ever win his love. He remembers Logan smiling at him when he was a little kid and feeling like the world was his every time. What had he done wrong to lose that? He runs through every corporate action he had taken since his dad had bestowed the future title on him a year and a half ago. The late-night strategy sessions they’d had about his ascendence to the throne were some of the only bright spots of the last few years. “When it’s you,” Logan had always started, “I want you to focus in on…” Kendall had always had to try with all his might to hear anything after ‘when it’s you’ in his father’s gruff, strong, self-assured voice. He could have sworn he felt the hot shots of adrenaline and dopamine shooting through his entire body. The few times he’d received praise for doing something right, he had floated home on air. Anxiety floods him at the thought that he might never get another night like those. He’s dying for reassurance.

“I think we should go to your parents’ house when we get back,” he says suddenly. Rava smiles uncertainly.

“Okay.” She squeezes his hand. “You in need of some cookies and compliments?”

He had truly missed his in-laws during their time apart. Rava’s mom and step-dad had always been so kind to him in ways his own parents never were. Rava’s mom Cheryl freely hugged him all the time and always asked the cook to bring him seconds. Their beautiful house always smelled like some delicious baked good, and even into his thirties she would still pat him on the shoulder and tell him he was doing a great job and deserved a break. Rava’s step-dad Robert poured him scotch and talked business in a much more upbeat and excited way than Logan did, once in a while even offering a high-five after hearing about a successful board vote or an acquisition when Kendall managed to save existing jobs while still turning a profit. It was so rare that Kendall got the chance to talk about work with someone who had no financial stake in what happened and just genuinely wanted him to succeed. As a powerful M&A lawyer, Robert had high expectations of Rava and could be hard on her, and Kendall tried to slip in bits about her success too. They went golfing every few months after Robert retired, and Kendall knew it as worth enduring Logan’s disapproval of him having any other family members. One of the most painful casualties of the separation for Kendall was his never-ending worry that his surrogate parents for seventeen years now thought he was a junkie and hated him. But Rava had reminded him throughout their time apart that she would never talk about him that way and that they were also sad about the split.

“Cookies and compliments,” he breaks into a little smile and looks at the table. “Do you know how good that sounds right now?” He almost laughs at himself for how much he needs to be around people who honestly like him in this moment.

“Then we’ll go. For now, how about some cake, and your hair looks nice,” she says with a grin. He reaches up to check his hair in case it was messy and that was a joke. She laughs lightly. “Really? I meant that! It is definitely time to go to my parents’. You need a break.”

“Stewy will love that.”

“He’ll love having you getting things done at full capacity. And Roman- where is Roman?”

“Uh, we don’t know,” he replies uneasily. 

“You don’t know?” She repeats. 

“He gave his speech, he went somewhere with Tabitha maybe, I don’t see her either now, but… you know- weird timing.”

“Well, yeah,” she agrees. Just as she finishes the word, the DJ returns and turns on the fun music everyone’s been waiting for. Kendall and Rava breathe a sigh of relief at being free from the dangerous speeches and walk out onto the dance floor. Kendall stops for a minute to look around and make sure it’s safe out there. Logan is walking out with Frank and Gerri, Shiv is with Tom at the head table, and Roman has indeed disappeared. He finds that particularly worrisome but decides to push it out of his mind and enjoy the moment. Rava goes ahead to the kids and the three of them start dancing while Kendall hangs back. Classic multicolored uplighting flits across their faces and he takes a moment to absorb the purely happy scene. Rava catches his eye and smiles as she does silly dance moves with the kids. He feels the same flip in his chest as he would when she’d spot him at a party when they were just starting to date. She could always tell that the party king image was an inch deep and that he probably needed encouragement to approach her. Sophie runs over and throws herself into him for one of her sweet enthusiastic hugs that make everything brighter. Rava follows with Iverson and reaches for Kendall’s hand.

“You wanna dance?” She’s bouncing already and he takes her hand and follows her out with a cheerful air. She makes them all into a circle and they swing around, jumping up and down. The kids look positively delighted, and seeing their joyful expressions looking up at him makes him promise himself he’ll do anything it takes to keep them like that forever. He watches Rava giggle and twirls her. She spins close to him and gives him a quick kiss.

“Mom!!” Sophie yells. Rava chuckles and pats her head as she looks back at Kendall and watches him bounce and dance.

“I remember you,” she smiles at him. “You’re fun!” He laughs. 

“You’re definitely the only one who’s of that opinion tonight.” But he only needs one. The song slows down and Rava glances at Kendall’s watch.

“Kids, it is way past your bedtime!” She motions to Bianca to come take them to bed. “Bianca is going to help you get ready for bed and then we’ll come kiss you goodnight, okay?” The kids reluctantly agree and Kendall kisses the top of their heads before Bianca leads them out.

“Slow song…” Rava looks at him invitingly. They sway to the music and she looks up at him, placing both her hands on his face and pulling him to her lips. She can’t wait another second to feel his lips, to close her eyes and lean into him. He lets himself relax the way he only ever can with her. After a minute he returns to proper form, but she steps in to close the gap between them, laying her head on his shoulder.

“I don’t remember this part of Cotillion,” he smiles.

“Hmm, well, New York didn’t do it like Connecticut, then,” she smirks.

“Oh, am I married to a bad girl?” He whispers.

“You have no idea.”

“No? You have tricks I haven’t seen?”

She raises her eyebrows and pulls him to her again for a deeper kiss. They’ve both forgotten everyone’s eyes around them.

“Mmmm… that’s good champagne,” he whispers. She laughs silently and puts her forehead on his.

“Stopppp!” 

“Yeah, I’m generally not very good at that,” he jokes. He kisses her again, open-mouthed, and she can feel the passion. He’s tasting her. “So good,” he breathes. “Let’s go. Back to the room.”

She giggles and he starts walking with his arm around her. Just at that moment, they clock Roman and Tabitha walking through the door. Rava looks disappointed at the thought of yet another interruption in their day and Kendall notices.

“Hang on just a second,” he says quickly, and she reluctantly lets him go and makes peace with another night of falling asleep by herself. To her surprise, he walks over to Stewy and then straight back to her. “Okay, let’s go.”

“You don’t have to talk to Roman?” Rava asks.

“I told Stewy I think I’ve had enough confrontation for one day. I talked to my dad, I think he can handle my brother.” He smiles at her. “You know what he said, though, and I hadn’t even processed it yet?”

“What?”

“We did it. We’re taking over the fucking company.”

Chapter 12 💗

[katblu42]

Day 11 - Rocky Mountaineer part 1

I'm behind again! Mostly because I've been busy experiencing stuff, and not connected to tech!!

Anyway, Day 10 started pretty early - coach pick up at the hotel was 7:50am, but our luggage had to be outside our rooms for collection an hour before that.

Our coach was the first to arrive at the station, so we had about half an hour to hang around before the welcome (which involved bagpipes), and then boarding.

(This is a Gold Leaf carriage - I was travelling on Silver Leaf)

We set off at 8am, and while we were still slowly trundling out of Vancouver the first refreshments were served - coffee and tea, then a 2 course breakfast!

We had an unexpected and sudden stop when the emergency brake was pulled due to "an issue with the crossing ahead." Not sure what the issue was, but when the emergency brake is pulled the whole length of train has to be walked to check the brake has been released. I think we were stopped for about 10 minutes.

(The stop also caused a service cart at the back of our carriage to topple. These carts basically never to that, so this was definitely unusual according to our 3 cabin hosts!)

Not long after that we had a glimpse of Mt Barker (which is over the border in the US - Washington).

At this point I feel the need to point out 2 important things: 1. I took over 200 photos today 2. All photos were taken through the windows of the train, and are therefore subject to reflections off the glass - watch out for the little UFOs, they are reflections of the lights in the carriage ceiling!

I also should point out seeing mountains like these is kinda exciting for me - Australia's mountains aren't like this! And the train follows the Fraser River pretty closely. The grey-green colour of the water is apparently due to the sediments it carries - they never get a chance to settle.

Speaking of colours . . . this mixture of blues and greens is because it's part of where the Fraser meets the Thomson River, which the train then follows to our eventual overnight stop in Kamloops.

This train trip is like being in a moving restaurant - we were supplied with drinks and a snack, then a 3 course lunch by the time we hit this point!

Rainbow Canyon - the colours of the rocks caused by oxidation of iron, copper and sulfur (I think that's what they said!)

I was really on the wrong side of the train to get shots of the rapids on the Thompson, where some of the rocks have names! Can you spot the rock called the frog? (right pic above)

Murray Creek Falls . . .

On one of our many stops while waiting on a siding for a freight train to pass in the opposite direction, we had a Bald Eagle circling beside us. Not easy to snap pics!

Somewhere near Black Canyon we had one of the best chances to shoot pics of the front of the train - my carriage was the second last of 22 "pieces of equipment" (engine, carriages inc non-passenger cars), and the last passenger car. (I still had trouble getting a decent shot without reflections or telephone wires in the way!)

We spent much of the day spotting Osprey nests! (And one or two eagle nests)

Does anyone recognise Rainbow Bluffs? Apparently they appeared in the X-Files. (right pic above)

After many, many delays pulling into sidings for freight trains (the two I counted cars for were 150 and 194 cars long - so not short trains!), and our afternoon snack and drink, we finally came up along Kamloops Lake. Lots of winding track as the train closely follows the shoreline.

And that's my 30 image limit!

We were late getting into Kamloops - so many stops along the way we even got a second afternoon snack!! So, when we finally reached our hotels it was around 9pm. That's basically a 13hr train trip! Certainly not boring though.

[aeori-o]

Happy New Year! 2/3 (Tumblr Why)

So apparently tumblr won't let me do a lot of images in one post and instead of reducing the amount of images I'll be using like a sane person I am making multiple posts. Cheers!

Part 1 || Part 3

Back to video games!

I love the steam recaps, both mine and looking at all my friends’ but I’ll just post mine here.

I don’t even remember playing Dishonored this year. I still have the weird desire to 100% it even though I only have the challenge-mode stuff left and of those I only have four left. I’m so freaking close. But I also haven’t touched the game in close to a year. Argh.

That spider-graph underestimates my ability to turn any game into a stealth game. I’m not sure what the game from this year was that’s counting as 3% I think Plate Up! was released last year and I’m doubting Destiny 2 counts even if it is an ongoing game so I assume that must be for the Touchstarved Demo. I do kind of wonder if I’ll ever have a high percentage for new releases just because it takes me forever to get to anything. Releases from the last 1-7 years was 11%, and releases from longer ago was 86% but that will be because I played a lot of short games from the 90’s and 00’s.

Just like my reading my gaming dropped off during the summer. It’s so hard to make time for things how do people do it. I find a physical hobby to do and it just consumes all of my time and energy and brain power.

There’s all the games. I didn’t count anything I spent a very small amount of time on in my personal count. Things like the HE activity packs or mini-games where I played for 5, maybe 10, minutes and stopped. Shockingly mini-games meant to entertain six year olds in the 90’s are not very compelling to a 30 year old in 2023 (though some were very graphically/artistically impressive which was more fascinating and engaging than the mini-games themselves). The actual point-and-click games all hold up surprisingly well. There’s some things that are a little aggravating like Freddi fish’s friend, Luther, makes just the worst jokes. I think so far I’ve been liking Pajama Sam and Putt-Putt the best. We’re done Spy Fox now and I think we still have a few Putt-Putt games left and one or two Freddi Fish games and Pajama Sam games.

I had the farm Buzzy game growing up (which is so strange seeing as I lived on a farm, why did my parents get me that) but not any others and the airport one is wild, genuinely very educational and it’s impressive how much stuff they crammed in there. We haven’t played any recently, though. Also all of Steam’s tags are liars, I did not first play these games in 2023, I first played all these HE games in like, 1998 or something, on an old machine I can still picture in my mind but have no way to look up. I don’t even remember what make it was.

(I asked my dad, because he used to take pictures of everything growing up, but shockingly he appears to have primarily taken photos of me and my sister doing things and not just pictures of random objects around the house. Strange. He did say it was probably a custom computer that had been built for his company so we even went through old company photos but, again, no photos of just people at their desks or their desk set-ups. Through this process I realized the computer I’m currently using is my third desktop, ever. Maybe that’s not that wild but for a device I use almost every day of my life it feels weird for it to “only” be the third one. In my lifetime there’s, so far, been 5 generations of playstations so I feel like I’m doing pretty good on the turnover rate for desktop computers. Here’s a doodle of what I think my first desktop computer looked like:

I can remember the overall shape of it but the details are foggy now. Its name was PC 11, though, because that’s what it was called at his workplace. The real kicker is I probably used to have a photo of it, but I lost all my old photos when my back-up drive gave out on me and I, foolishly, only had my photos on my back-up drive because my computer didn’t have room for them. I’m going to see if my sister, who is younger than me, somehow, magically, has any photos of this thing. Anyway back to video games.)

Donut County was an absolute delight. I think that’s the only other game on there I haven’t talked about at all and it was just a really good time. Cute story and very satisfying gameplay, I had a great time playing it.

We also revisited a series Steph and I played in or just after Highschool which was really fun to revisit with friends.

The Chzo series stands up surprisingly well. I don’t think I’d recommend them for a newcomer but for something I played forever ago (I don’t think I ever beat the series but I know I played the first two) I’m surprised at how well it held up and it was fun to re-experience with friends. There’s some very questionable plot elements and some unfortunate word choices which is why I won’t recommend them but it’s super impressive that one guy just… made these. It’s genuinely very cool and impressive.

Sony is apparently also doing a year in review or “wrap up” this year for the first time ever, I was kind of hoping it would include PS3 data somehow. It didn’t. So this is all I get:

I do really like the graphics they have on everything, too bad my poor PS4 was basically neglected so those graphics are wasted on my dismal play-stats.

They just look really nice. I do think it’s interesting that Sony’s approach to this outright feels a little more cynical and like it rolled out of the marketing department than other wrap-ups. They throw in a little “look at all these cool games you could be playing with playstation plus” and then of course…

Did you know?? You can buy a PS5?? Did you know?? Come buy one. :)

Anyway.

That’s about all I played this year, so I can move on.

To my other hobbies, of which I have about seventeen billion. As I mentioned last year: I was really into reshelling stuff until I ran out of stuff to reshell. So I did reshell one controller this year. One of my Switch procontrollers I wasn’t super happy with, so I changed it to look like the joycons I did for my step-brother and I’m much happier with it:

I also got a bunch of cute thumbgrips for all my modern Nintendo controllers. I’ve never liked add-on thumb grips much but for whatever reason I don’t find the current generation of Nintendo controllers to have comfortable analogue sticks so having cute pads is elevating my Nintendo experience both aesthetically and physically.

And then I realized people sell shells for Gameboys so decided to do the GBAs from my childhood (I don’t know how I wound up with two, and one was my sister’s):

The hinges were so hard to get back in right, different guides said to do different things and they were all wrong. Luckily I had six hinges to get there on so by the time I got to the one with the nicest screen I had it figured out but the Pikachu one has squishy unsatisfying hinges now (and the hinges are so hard to get back out I’m not going to bother fixing it). And some of the batteries were getting puffy so I replaced them (which was maybe silly since these aren’t going to be played often but oh well).

I really love the aesthetics of a clear-case on a GBA. There is just SO much crammed in there it really tickles my brain. Any motherboard looks pretty dense but these are particularly dense in a way that looks visually distinct than even something like the 3DS (picture further down) because there’s so little real estate for them to get everything in there. I know people really like clear cases in general (and I am also a fan) but it hits extra good on something like this where there is just so much to see.

I have continued repairing people’s Nintendo Switches from fans to joycon drift. I still like fixing things whenever I can (I just fixed a kettle a few days ago which I fully did not expect to be able to fix) and one of the major things that needed fixing this year was CurseBreaker, the computer I built at the end of 2020.

My poor computer. Toward the end of 2022 I wanted to try a liquid cooler (which they call an AIO) instead of the stock fan, there was literally no reason to do this except for the thrill of it (AMD’s stock coolers are very good, or at least mine was) and CPUs were on major sale at the time so I figured if I’m messing around I might as well update my CPU, too. About a month later my computer started crashing randomly. Completely randomly, and it wouldn’t fully crash it would kind of “hang” in a really strange way. I could sometimes open programs but task manager would boot but not operate properly, internet connectivity vanished, random programs would freeze, trying to shut down or restart the computer would just have it pinwheel on the shutdown screen forever. Usually I could save whatever I was working on before restarting and sometimes whatever I saved would corrupt. (It also refused to load the windows colour profile on boot, but it still won’t do that, so that is unrelated but I thought it was something at the time.)

I eventually got to the point where I could usually make it crash by watching twitch (specifically twitch did it) while using photoshop. But it wouldn’t trigger right away, and sometimes it wouldn’t trigger at all, but it did it much more often with the twitch and photoshop combo than with anything else. I started writing every time it messed up on a notepad and everything I tried to do to troubleshoot. I was in Reliability History every day (a feature of Windows I did not previously know existed), I was in Event Viewer (a very stressful place to go looking in, Windows can and will consider everything an ‘error’: it considers firefox being my default browser an error and I am not kidding). My computer could Not tell me what the heck was up. The crashing started earlier but by the time I realized it was an ongoing problem and not a few weird crashes it was mid-January so I used Reliability History to see the previous two weeks and started writing my notes, I made a timeline, I even tracked the time between crashes in case it was some bizarre clock thing or ticking time bomb (it wasn’t).

My headphone ear pads broke during this and I had to sew them back together because my headphones are weird and suck and don’t have replacements available to buy. Obviously that wasn’t directly related to my computer’s problems but it didn’t help me feel any less cursed since I use those headphones exclusively with my computer. I also expanded my storage during this time which maybe wasn’t the best idea but someone wanted me to try Destiny 2 and I didn’t have space to spare (the storage installed fine, but almost immediately after I had a bunch of crashes/hangs). And then one of my computer case’s USB ports broke???

How??? How!! I am SO careful. I do not understand how or why this happened and I have been around computers my entire life—this is the only time I have EVER seen a USB port break like this. None of the computers in my highschool had broken USB ports! And people jammed USBs in and out of those! This USB port is still broken, I just have a dust plug in it but I might put a sticker over it. It’s technically usable if you bend that pin back out but it gets crammed back in very easily.

Finally, after four months of this, after partially re-installing Windows, and then fully re-installing Windows, after downloading and updating every driver I could find, after trying to unplug various devices to see if a USB device was causing issues, after fighting with Task Scheduler to get the Windows Color System to work, after uninstalling and reinstalling everything I could or straight up uninstalling things I didn’t need that Windows quietly downloads when you’re not looking (Skype just will not leave my machine Windows keeps dragging it back)… I decided to update the BIOS/UEFI on my machine. My CPU was supposed to be compatible with the BIOS version my motherboard was running but I guess it wasn’t actually.

The thing with updating your BIOS is that if your computer has been running for a while it’s generally recommended you don’t update it. Every page you go to, even the page with the motherboard update versions, will tell you to turn back, to not frivolously update your motherboard, you should only update it if you absolutely have to!

They are not clear on what “absolutely having to” means, though. I was having major computer issues, my CPU was supposed to be compatible, but that was the only other thing I could think of that would be causing the issue. I had tried everything else because all the BIOS stuff warns you away from it and there is no list of “if your computer is doing this it might be the motherboard” or at least I couldn’t find one that isn’t vague. So.

On April 24th I updated my BIOS. It was really easy. I have not had a problem since. There is probably a lesson to be learned here about doing the hard, risky-seeming thing earlier in the process—except that they really warn you off of updating the BIOS. I had four months of very stressful and insanity-making troubleshooting, five-and-a-bit months of a computer that would just randomly give up. It sucked. And all because my motherboard company lied, my CPU was definitely not as compatible as they said it was. Despite how much this process sucked I am very pleased that I fixed it. CurseBreaker got CurseBroken. I still put a sticker on her that says she’s cursed, though.

Anyway.

I also learned how to bind books this year! I haven’t done the big-book bindings where you need to sew pages together (and I would like to learn how to do that and how to make hard covers) but I’ve done this simple kind and I really like it. I have ideas for other things I’d like to make into little personal books. I guess I’ll see where it takes me but I made the little yellow book there as a companion piece to a book my sister had me read and it looked so official that when she opened the present she didn’t understand what she was looking at. Graphic design is my passion. Surprisingly easy to do and very fun! I need a better paper slicer, though. I borrowed one for this and it did more ripping than cutting. Most of the hobbies I take on are very satisfying in a tangible way but this is extra satisfying and I’d like to do more of it.

Through the power of friendship I made two booknooks this year (Vin and Steph helped me). The one on the right was more like a puzzle or ikea furniture where it was all clearly labelled and told you where to put what and when. It took the better part of an afternoon but got done in one day. The one on the left was more like building a diorama with little to no real instruction, just a lot of material.

It took several days to assemble and required busting out the hot glue gun. Somehow the makers of this kit expected you to be able to glue plastic pieces and mirrors with white glue. (It definitely worked better than expected on some things but was a mess and meant having to sit there holding pieces together while they cured because if you let go it’d fall apart. The hot glue was necessary to not go insane.) It even makes you put together the wiring yourself, and then has the audacity to not make it clear anywhere what kind of batteries it takes. Overall super happy with how this one came together, I think it looks super cute, but I was not prepared for how hard it would be after the first one.

But now I have two cute little booknooks! I’ve wanted one for years and now I have two and because we built them I also have good memories directly associated with them.

I also finally have a paper koi lantern! I’ve been following the artist, yuumei, since I was a kid—like I followed her when I still used deviantart which was forever ago. I signed up for the mailing list for these who-knows-when and at some point I assumed this project would never reach completion despite how cool it is. People get busy, it is how it is. But then she launched a kickstarter! I backed! And then a kit showed up in the mail!

There’s a really great tutorial video to go with it for assembly. It was really hard at first but once you kind of figure it out it gets a lot easier. The paper is the most gorgeous paper I’ve seen in my life and she looks beautiful when she’s all lit up.

This one feels so weird to finally have. I think I was following the project for at least a decade so it feels surreal for it to be a real thing now. This thing I wanted as a kid/teen that didn’t exist and now does and I still wanted it. It’s also really nice to see that this fully came together for the artist, as well. If you’re interested she has pricing and product photos on her website here (click): Yuumei Art: Koi Lanterns.

And Tumblr is cross with me with the amount of images I want to put in these so I will be making part 3 presently. I'll set up links when I'm done.

<< Previous || Next >>

[dansnaturepictures]

12/11/23-Lakeside and home

Photos taken in this set: 1 and 10. Roe Deers which it was powerful to get some great glimpses of, I believe it was a pair and a youngster I'd not seen a young one before so this was glorious to observe. 2. Jelly tooth fungi, a nice shiny and smooth one to find. 3. Two female Goosanders which I was astounded to see. The ultimate Lakeside duck for me I'd seen them here a handful of times, it's real once in a blue moon stuff to spot these charming birds which come south in the winter at my local patch Lakeside. I was so thrilled to see and take them in and take photos, one of my Lakeside moments of the year. Weirdly I felt drawn by something to fit a bonus walk at Lakeside to compliment my weekday lunch time walks into my Sunday and I saw so much here this morning, the euphoric Roe Deer and Goosander moments especially really made me glad I did the walk. It was funny seeing the two on Kornwestheim lake, even funnier that before looking at them in binoculars I thought they were the Lakeside stalwart Great Crested Grebes, as we first ever saw Great Crested Grebes on this lake when I was ten and we'd just got into birdwatching a fairytale moment of my childhood and building my treasured interest with this one of my favourite birds and from books at that stage having not seen any of the three before that moment I was more familiar with Goosander and the (though I now know they're more a sea duck) related Red-breasted Merganser so thought the grebes may be one of them until we worked out they were grebes so I've always associated the unrelated species with each other a little. 4, 6, 7 and 8. Beautiful views on the walk including rich autumnal colour including in the sun, rose hips and some catkins in the eighth picture. 5. Goldfinches in nice light at home. 9. Greylag Geese flying over, a noisy and immersive sight towards the end of the walk with some seen as I got home too. I've photographed a fair few goose species this weekend.

In an extraordinary walk of seeing things two Cormorants circling around which was fantastic to see with one on the lake, mesmerising Siskins my first here this season a great bird here in winter, Goldfinches here too, Redwing, Blackbird, Long-tailed and Blue Tits seen well near the Siskins such captivating birds to see the Long-tailed especially I've had a great year for them, the Great Crested Grebes, Coot and Moorhen were other bird highlights. It was good to see Carrion Crow and Jackdaw flying in the air together which I've rarely or ever seen before with Jackdaw in the garden which I don't often see and Starling and Collared Doves highlights at home today. Daisy, white clover, white deadnettle, a tiny part of a yarrow flower hanging on, ragwort, hawthorn berries and lichen were also nice to see on the walk with rose hips, lavender and firethorn enjoyed at home.