#sniper parrot

[aus-nobody-asked-for]

Goncharov, but Joseph Morelli aka Ice Pick Joe decided to switch his signature weapon with a parrot. Just once.

This event leads to him being known as Ice Pick Joe within the circle of the Nepalese Mafia, but as Parrot Piotr by the russian hitman association. While Ice Pick Joe is his own boss and tries to avoid Goncharov as much as he can, Parrot Piotr gets appointed to kill Andrey and Katya.

Joseph Morelli knows he cannot avoid the confrontation forever. Either he has to cross with Goncharov, or he has to fight the Russian hitman association.

Time to start training his parrot again.

[redteam-shenanigans]

*pattor angry flaps it's wings trying to escap and covers Snipers face with his hat*

>:[

-🐦

While Sniper is yelling at the bird, the 2nd Medic still seems unsure and confused. Sniper doesn't seem to like the bird at all, trying to deny everything that the parrot says.

Sniper: Oi, ya bloody bugger! I swear to Christ if I catch ya, I'll roast ya over the fire!

The 2nd Medic seems deep in thought, and he seems extremely conflicted.

[number1yisuchongfan]

have you seen the Kākāpō before? i just found out they were historically kept as pets occasionally by the Māori pre-contact

I have heard about them before, seem a few videos of them too. They are one of the birds that Sniper’s family has in their aviary (there’s a lot of native birds within it) but he’s more attached to Hinekapea than them.

He has known her his whole life and they have an extremely special connection with each other

[diejager]

bro make a fanfic about the reader and the ghost/konig WHEN THE READER WAS SHOT IN THE BUN ON THE MISSION AHAHAHHHAH LMAO (in the military helicopter when they were supposed to return, the reader was holding her butt, moaning, writhing in pain and trying to hide the pain)

That is a funny thought…

Shots Cw: gun violence, bb shots, tell me if I missed any.

You yelped when you were hit is the ass, flinching forward and raising your arm just as you turned to glare at whoever landed the shot. Your right cheek exploded in soreness, tingling from the sharp pain of a BB shot.

“Hit!” You called it, letting your rifle hang from your shoulder as you rubbed your right cheek, grumbling about the bastard, “On my fucking ass of all places.”

You walk towards the respawn with your arm up, still cussing out whoever shot you in the ass. You had a hunch about the shooter: Soap, who else had enough courage to shoot you in the ass. You doubted Gaz did it, he might’ve been tempted, but he preferred other type of pranks, more mischievous ones like tampering with the washer or drinks, harmless but hilarious. Soap, however, rarely knew the limit, going as far as stealing and hiding your stuff, tapping you in the ass or messing up your head while he cackled away, speeding off to Ghost or Price to escape your wrath.

You reasoned that this was a staged scenario, a small group activity Laswell came up with that landed your Task Force somewhere in France for game of airsoft, a Free for all in the reserved location. No one had complained, thinking it a good activity mixing fun, training and awareness —everyone agreed to it enthusiastically once Ghost had voiced his grumpy acceptance, seeing this as a moment to be able to training without the prying eyes of others or the presence of strangers. Once you reached the spawn point, your jump back in to land a few shots at Soap to see whether or not he liked getting his ass bruised by a BB. You walked off determined, mind narrowed down to a single goal, your retaliation—

Until you yipped a second time, a pellet bouncing off your second cheek. You whipped around, yelling as your eyes scoured the tree line and the openings in the buildings behind you, the windows, the roof and behind pillars. You couldn’t find Soap anywhere, he wasn’t hiding behind the trees or in the buildings, but you did catch the glint of a scope —a familiar sniper scope.

“Ghost, you son of a bitch!” You screamed in outrage, feeling how both cheeks throbbed with pain. You bared your teeth, hissing at your Lieutenant who seemed smug and comfortable in his high perch on the roof of the building, “Why’d you do that?! I was already out!”

”Big target, luv,” his amused voice cracked in your comm, the low rumble of sadistic pleasure ringing out in your headgear. He cocked his scope, his white mask standing starkly in his dark gear and broad figure, “Impossible to miss. Quit moaning.”

“Big target? Are you-!” Huffing at his continued laughter, you glared his way before you turned to hurry back to the respawn, “Let’s see who’s laughing later, you ass.”

“Fuck- Hit!”

Your shoulders shook with restrained laughter, admiring the way Ghost jumped from your perch, hidden in the darkness given by the cement wall. You listened to him hiss and swear, massaging the place you aimed for: the pronounced curve of his ass, his jeans rarely doing him the pleasure of hiding what he had.

“Quit moaning, Ghost,” you cackled as you parroted his words, telling him the same thing as he told you, but you had more to add, more to taunt and tease him as revenge, “Couldn’t miss it, Lt, it was a big fucking target.”

You watched him stomp off, retreating to the tree line for his spawn point. It filled with a sense of elation and ugly smugness, and all that was left now, was to find Soap.

“Steamin’ Jesus!” Johnny’s yelp felt more exciting than Ghost, something you could devour over and ove without regret.

“Not so fun, is it, Johnny?” You smirked, replying with a gleeful tone.

He looked red-faced, the tip of his ears turning a bright shade of red from the way you spoke to him, utilising his known weakness and playing him to watch him stutter and flush brightly.

“Awa’ a bile yer heid! That hurt, lass!” His voice had taken a whinier tone, face screwed in embarrassment and something that you couldn’t put your finger on at this distance.

“I know, shouldn’t have shot me in the ass then.”

Gaz tapped you on the shoulder, a smile threatening to break into chuckles. He’d known what happened to you and knew what you did in retaliation, finding amusement after siding with you, sitting beside you and peering at two frowning and mumbling men.

“Heard you had a lot of fun.”

“Not enough.”

You thought you heard Price sigh tiredly.

taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @dont-mind-me-just-existing-sadly @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @aldis-nuts @randominstake @cassiecasluciluce @hayleybarnesx

[marvellous1917]

Icarus Falling Far From.

(Part 4)

Pairing: mob!bucky x tattoo artist!female!reader

Summary: Bucky comes face to face with the ones fucking his shit up, he’s all stressed and the reader just wants to make out.

Warnings: mentions of crime (guns,drugs,murder [he’s a mobster babes]), swearing, guns, reader being threatened with a gun (oops), threat of violence, talking about feelings (ew), think that’s it-if I’m missing any let me know.

Word count: 3.9k ish

A/n: hey guys, hope you enjoy this shit lmao, I truly have absolutely no idea where I’m going with this.

(This is not beta’d we die like men.)

Part 3 : Icarus Falling Far

Masterlist

————

Bucky’s thoughts in italics

Readers thoughts in bold

————

Fuck.

Fuucckk.

“It’s you.” Bucky states, his voice steady, hiding the confusion running through his head.

“It’s us,” Frank responds, “gotta be honest, we’ve had a lot of fun fucking up your shit.”

Frank stood with a smug smirk on his face, while the man with the buzz cut, and with scars covering his face, the light outside casting a grim portrait, stands with a big grin - both completely unaffected by the gun being pointed at them.

“Does she know?” Bucky asks, years of being screwed by people he trusted rearing back and kicking his trust issues into his gear.

Please say no, please tell me she’s not a part of this.

No. Not her.

“Y/n? Bet it break your cold heart if we said yes, huh?” Billy quips, with that stupid grin now a permanent fixture on his face. “That sweet pretty girl you though actually liked you, was actually just getting us this in, see we have proposition for- ”

“DOES SHE KNOW?” Bucky lets his voice rise, tired of the games the other men were playing.

“No, and we are gonna keep it that way you hear me, don’t drag that kind girl into this cruel world.” Curtis states, stepping forward as if to cut Billy off from responding.

Shit, I can’t let you look down and see me waving a gun in your friends faces.

“She doesn’t need to know. She’s not made for this world, not like us. So how about you put the gun away before she starts looking out that window.” Frank says, eyes flicking to your window to make sure you’re not witnessing this tense conversation.

Bucky slowly lowers the gun into his pocket, but keeps his hand tight on the weapon, just as a precaution.

Please be true, to whatever bastard higher power up there, please be true.

“Not like us?” Bucky says, parroting the other man’s words, “in what world are we the same?”

“Well I mean you and Curtis probably share the most similar physicality,” Billy states, chuckling a little at his own joke.

Bucky’s eyes flit to the quiet man on the left, recalling his earlier thoughts.

“What Bill means to say is that I know what’s it’s like to loose a limb in combat-”

“I didn’t loose my arm in combat.” His voice was deep and unwavering, even while the horrid memories came to the front of his mind, “you have no idea what I went through.”

“We know some. Rumors fly in the military.” Franks states, “we were all Marines together, and after Curtis lost his leg, I became a Navy Seal and Bill here became a Scout Sniper for the Marine Corps Reconnaissance. We’ve had our fair share of being screwed over by those in authority.”

“Am I supposed to give a shit? All that crap is behind me, what I care about is my business now, the same business that you three have been fucking up for the past week. So what the fuck do you want and what the fuck does Y/n have to do with it?” Bucky growls out, his patience slipping.

“We mean no harm, not to you, and especially not to Y/n-”

“I’m supposed to believe that, you used her to get to me right? If you cared about her you wouldn’t have done that-” Bucky begins before he gets cut off.

“Don’t you dare say that we don’t care about her!” Billy almost shouts stepping forward before stopping when Bucky brings the gun out of his pocket and lets it rest by his side.

“Y/n is one of the few things in this world we care about, she’s family okay, and we would never hurt her-” Curtis says

“Really, then how would you say she’s gonna feel if I go back to her apartment and tell her all about this, huh?” Bucky calls back

“You’re not gonna do that though, are ya? Because you know if you did, it’d break her heart, and you don’t wanna do that do ya Buck? Not when ya like her so much?” The words come from Billy, the annoying grin back in his face.

“What make you think I care that much?” Bucky says, even though his thoughts state the opposite.

I do. I do care.

“If you didn’t you would have shot us already.” Frank responds with a very valid point.

That makes Bucky clench his jaw and tense his gun wielding hand.

“All we want is a business meeting okay, talk about a potential partnership.” Frank stars crossing his arms, staring unklinking at Bucky.

“A partnership? It’s gonna take more than you fucking up a few things for me to even think about considering that. And what the hell would I get out of a partnership with you three?” Brucky responds, seriously considering just shooting the three men dead on the street.

“Well that’s something we can talk about later, but just so you know we have our hands in some business ourselves and more than enough bodies to keep our shit going, but we’d all be a hell of a lot richer if we worked together” Curtis states, shifting his weight onto his good leg.

“Plus just think about how happy our girl will be if we all got on.” Billy chimes in with a quick wink.

Our girl. OUR girl? God I wanna shoot these assholes.

Bucky keeps his calm facade up, unwilling to show the man that his words affected him.

“Fine. Be at the Comandos bar at 8 pm tomorrow, just you three, no weapons.” Bucky responds, wanting this conversation to be over.

The three men share quick look’s between themselves, and then Frank steps forward with his hand out towards Bucky and says “We’ll be there.”

Bucky doesn’t even look at them before turning quickly and walking back into the building, pulling out his phone to call Steve.

Frank chuckles, puts his hand down and turns to get in the car.

“Think he’ll tell her?” Curtis asks.

“Nah. He likes her too much.” Billy replies, while opening the door and getting in.

—————

What the hell is taking him so long? God I hope the boys didn’t catch him and give the whole ‘if you hurt her we’ll kill you’ talk. The boys are scary but Bucky’s a damn mobster.

The heavy knock on the door stops your pacing, and cause you to run to the door and pull it open to see the aforementioned mobster.

He doesn’t even say anything before barging in, kicking the door closed behind him while his hands go straight to the sides of your face, pulling your lips to his. His grip is gentle, but his mouth is bruising, his teeth nipping your bottom lip.

You pull back to catch your breath, leaning your forehead on his and catching your breath.

“Not even a hello? You missed me that much?” You flirt quietly, whispering into his mouth, hand clutching his waist through his coat.

“More than you know darlin’ I needed to see you…and touch you,” Bucky responds, silently thinking I needed to make sure you were okay.

Oh please do.

“All I’m hearing is the big bad mobster saying he needs me” you tease, praying he didn’t take offence, yeah he’s sweet and lovely but I’ve only gotten a tiny glimpse at the other side of him.

“Is that how you see me?” He leans back to his full height, staring down into your eyes, dropping his hands to his sides.

Shit.

Bucky grips your wrists and takes your hands off his body, moving them into his metal hand, the surface cold on your skin. You scramble to respond, wanting to tell him you thought the opposite, but his flesh hand moves to his pocket before you can talk.

“Big bad mobster huh? Oh doll you have no idea,” he says with an indiscernible look on his face, pulling out his glock.

Oh fuck, I was only teasing.

“Wait Buck-“ you start before he cuts you off.

“Y/n…Are you scared of me?” He asks, his grip on your wrists loose enough that you could get out of his grip if you wanted to.

You didn’t move. Looking into his eyes, an overwhelming feeling of calm takes over, the blue of his eyes the same as the sky after a storm.

“…no. I’m not.” I probably should be but apparently I’m crazy.

“Do you think I’m bad?” He asks.

All the stories, all the rumours, the memory of your first meeting, and the call he took in the shop come flooding to the forefront of your mind. That he’s a man with no mercy, cares for nothing and no one - except money, sex, and violence.

“…not to me.” You answer.

He pulls his arm up, holding the glock in between your faces, showing it to you. The bottom of his tattoo- your tattoo- sticks out from under his sleeve.

A normal person without a broken brain would take this as a threat. Why am I attracted to this?

He makes eye contact with you over the barrel, turning his hand and resting the muzzle on your cheek, but there is no fear in you, you can see his trigger finger resting on the side of the barrel.

“Do you trust me Y/N?” Bucky asks, his eyes not moving from yours.

You take a second to think about it.

The man is a fucking mobster for Christs’ sake. He’s a criminal, a gun runner, a drug trafficker, and not to mention a killer. His kills have hit the news before, no evidence proving it was his organisation, but everyone knows. It doesn’t matter if it was Bucky that pulled the trigger, held the knife, planted the bomb, nothing happened that wasn’t on his order. Can I really trust a man like that?

Your hesitation to answer has an effect on Bucky. He moves the gun, dragging it down your neck and resting the muzzle in the dip of your collar bone. You look down at his hand, finger still nowhere near he trigger.

“Y/n.” He calls quietly. Your eyes jump back to his and he speaks again, “do you think I would ever hurt you?”

That question has an answer you don’t have to think about.

“Not unless I did something to deserve it.” Your attempt at humour was immediately seen to be the wrong answer.

He sticks the gun back in your face, muzzle pushing between you lips, scratching your teeth. The movement causes your eyes to go wide, fear slipping onto your face.

“Did you do something to deserve it? Have you fucked me over Y/n?” His voice is tense, deadly serious, an unstable look in his eyes, his metal hand tightening on your wrists.

You lean back a little to answer, “…no, no of course not Buck. What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”

He stares at you for what feels like hours, his face perfectly still, not giving anything away.

She doesn’t know. She truly has no idea. Thank fuck.

He drops the gun and lets go of your wrists, taking a few steps back, giving you space.

“I’m sorry doll, I’ve just had very hard day, some new information was given to me and it’s fucked me up a bit. I’m sorry Y/n, truly I am, I didn’t mean to freak you out.” His hands run through his hair, pulling at it harshly. “Shit darlin’, what the hell was I doing?” He mumbles the last bit to himself.

“Buck..Bucky, hey calm down, it’s okay-” you start before he talks again.

“It’s not okay! I just put a fucking gun in your face.” He keeps rambling, seeming like a whole other person than he was a minute ago.

“Buck! Stop, stop jabbering,” you grab his wrists, taking his hands from his hair and pulling him towards you.

He stops talking, and stares at your hands in his, the metal of his prosthetic shining a stark contrast against your skin.

You take a second to look at him, eyes studying his face. He looks worried, and a little scared.

Huh, didn’t know a mobster could get scared. Is he’s scared of me and what I’m gonna say… or is he scared of himself?

“You don’t scare me Buck…you probably should, but you don’t. ‘Cos you’ve been nothing but good to me, even a minute ago when you were acting weird, I knew you weren’t gonna do anything-”

“How? How did you trust me to not hurt you, when I was waving my glock in your face?”

“You had your finger on the barrel”

He’s silent for a few seconds, thinking over what you said. He takes a deep breath, meeting your eyes.

“I don’t know what to say,” Bucky responds.

“Then don’t say anything.” You say, the imagine of him with a gun in his hand fresh in your mind.

That whole episode should not have been as hot as it was. Shit I’m fucked up.

Bucky stares at you (he does that a-lot), unsure of his next move.

“Kiss me, dumbass.”

He moves before you can blink, his hands gently grabbing your face and pulling you to him. His kiss takes your breath away, gentle but firm. Your hands grip his elbows, encouraging him to keep going.

He takes the hint (thank fuck) and splits your lips with his tongue, his nose pressed hard against your cheek. He moves his hands down to your hips, gripping hard. Your hands grip the back of his head, fingers playing with his hair, tugging at it slightly when he completely deepens the kiss, your tongues tangling together. He lets out a quiet groan at the feeling, taking his left hand off your hip and tensing it by his side. You break the kiss when you feel the loss of his touch.

You take a second to catch your breath, Bucky leaning his head against yours.

“Why did you take your hand off me?” You ask.

“What?” He responds, the small dazed look on his face making you chuckle a little.

“Your hand, I liked it where it was.”

“Oh..that. It’s uh..it’s pretty strong, I can’t tell how hard I’m holding something, I can’t feel it so I tend to hold things a bit too hard… I broke like 5 cups in the past week-” he answers, stuttering his way through the sentence.

“Stop talking Buck, and you say I ramble,” You say, putting your finger to his lips. He stops talking, and you continue, “I trust you Buck, I’ll tell you if you’re holding me too hard. Plus I like it a little rough.” You finish with a wink at him, pulling his hand back to your waist.

He drops his head back, eyes closed and takes a deep breath in. He mumbles under his breath something that sounds like ‘god you’re perfect’, then he crashes his lips back into yours, both hands tightening on your hips.

He moves faster now, more intense with his kiss, his teeth scraping yours slightly and he presses you backwards, walking with you until you bump into the wall, his flesh hand stopping your head from hitting it.

Aww how sweet. The thought is thrown from your head when Bucky drops his head and presses kisses to your jaw, his hand curling in your hair to pull your head back, exposing your neck to him.

“Oh shit,” you whisper, as he licks a long stripe up your neck, nipping at the pulse points he finds. Your hands drop to his hips and pull him flush to you, groaning when you feel how much you’ve affected him. He kisses his way back to your lips, his metal hand moving to rest on the side of your neck, thumb resting in the front of your neck. Bucky gives you a long hard kiss then pulls back breathing hard.

“God girl, you are gonna be the death of me,” he whispers, lips brushing against yours as he talks.

“Fuck I hope not,” you respond, pulling his hips tighter against yours making him choke back a groan at the feeling.

His phone starts to ring.

Fuck off.

You pull him to you again, lips trailing across his jaw.

“Shit doll, wait a second baby-” he starts before you cut him off.

“Wait? Wait for what Buck, you don’t want me?” You tease, brushing your nose along his.

He crashes his lips against yours, his ringtone fading as his kiss overtakes your mind. Bucky pulls back after a few seconds, growling softly before stepping back to pull his phone out of his pocket.

“Are you seriously gonna answer that?” You ask, incredulous to his action.

“I have to darlin, could be an emergency,” he answers, taping the screen to answer. He puts the phone to his ear and says, “talk to me.”

You ignore his conversation, grabbing his metal hand to inspect it. The plates shift as you turn it over to look at the palm.

What an incredible feat of engineering, I wonder how it works. And how it feels-

Your dirty thoughts are cut short as he pulls his hand out of your grip, turning and taking a few steps away from you. His voice is quiet, probably to keep you from hearing whatever illegal shit they were discussing.

You jump when he shouts.

“THE FUCK? Rogers you get them to find more information on those shitheads, or I swear to fuck I will rip their fucking hearts out. I don’t care anymore, this shit needs to stop right the fuck now!” He stops his tirade and listens to ‘Rogers’ on the other side for a few second before he starts up again, “I know that asshole…one of the fuckers is married, find the wife… I have no idea if she’s involved man, I doubt it but she’d be good leverage… and get me some more information on their business so I’m not going into this shit show unprepared.”

That gets your full attention. Find the wife? Leverage? And do what? Threaten her? Hurt her? …kill her?

A shiver rips its way down your spine at that thought.

Would he do that? If she’s not a part of the issue, would he still hurt her? He already proved he’d hurt anyone that fucked him over, proved that when he stuck his gun in my mouth.

“Yeah…I know, get Stark on it, send Talia and Barton out too, see if they can get any news on the street… tell Barton to keep his cool, I don’t need anymore shit right now” Bucky says, switching the phone to his metal hand, using his flesh one to pull at his hair again.

His back is still turned to you, his coat stretches over his shoulder, the back rising with his hand in his hair.

He has a gun in his waistband.

Your eyes flit to the glock he drop on the floor earlier, and back to the one tucked in his waistband.

Is two guns really necessary?

Your answer comes with his next sentence.

“Fuck Steve I know that…you think I got this far without any personal protection? I’m good if anything happens man but I don’t think it will, they seemed pretty insistent on the fact they meant no harm..”

He continues to talk for a minute until he ends the call with a quick “get it done Steve, or we’re all fucked.” He places the phone back in his pocket, takes a few deep breaths and turns back to you with a tense look on his face. He takes another deep breath and steps towards you. Without meaning to you take a step back, hitting the wall behind you. Bucky stops as soon as he sees your movement.

“Sorry about that sweetheart, didn’t mean to upset ya.” He says, his voice quiet and calm, as if he was talking to a injured dog.

You let the silence linger for a second, deciding whether or not to ask the question that was begging to be said.

Fuck it.

“What are you going to do to her?”

He tilts his head at the question, unsure of what you’re talking about.

You take pity on his confusion.

“The wife? What are you going to do when you find her?”

Something settles in his eyes, his mouth twisting into a grim line.

“Nothing…unless I have to.” Bucky responds.

His answer does nothing to calm your pounding heart.

“You mean you won’t do anything unless you find out she’s involved?”

“Yes.”

“So you won’t do anything if she’s not a part of …whatever it is?” You ask.

“That’s right.” He nods with his answer.

“Except use her as leverage?”

He’s silent for a moment, and sighs as he rolls his left shoulder. He doesn’t break eye contact, and he’s completely resigned to whatever his answer is about to be.

“If I have to.” There is no lie in his voice, no guilt or remorse in his eyes.

Holy fuck. There’s the soldier again, the man with no mercy, does whatever he needs to come out on top.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself.

He wouldn’t hurt me. Would he?

He answers like he heard your thought.

“It’s business doll, we do what we have to do. Sometimes it’s rough and bad and awful and yes, people get hurt. Sometimes even innocent people get hurt. But I will never apologise for being the one that does the hurting, me and mine have had our fair share of getting hurt, and I’d rather hurt and use some people I don’t care about, than watch my people, my family, get hurt. I will not allow that to happen, not when I can to something about it.” He stands straight, like a soldier. The conviction in his voice actually makes you feel calmer.

Assuming I’m someone he cares about, I should be fine, right?

It slips off your tongue before you can catch it.

“Do you care about me?” You shift your weight as you talk, unsure if you actually want to hear the answer.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.” He states, his tone steady.

“Say it properly,” you demand, crossing your arms over your chest, a subconscious way of protecting yourself, “I need you to say it properly Bucky.”

He shifts his weight now, seemingly uncomfortable.

“Yes… I do care about you,” he answers, clearing his throat in the middle of his statement, “do you care about me?”

You were unprepared for him to flip it back on you.

“I need you to answer truthfully Y/n. Do you care about me, as I am? The ‘big bad mobster’” he says, taking a step closer to you, and taking another when you don’t move away from him.

“The man who broke into your flat to threaten your roommate who owes me? The one who was going to shoot your friends dead on the street? The one who stuck a gun in your face? I’m a killer Y/n, a fucking mobster, and I’m not changing any time soon. Do you care about me as I am?” He asks, reminding you of the shit he’s done since you met him, not even counting the things you haven’t heard about.

You take a second to consider his questions.

I think I do, how fucked am I that I do?

You finally clock what he said.

“You were going to shoot who dead on the street?!”

————

hehehehe I feel like an evil mastermind.

If you are not tagged here- I either will tag you in a separate post- or I cannot tag you for some reason.

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[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Could you do the mercs with an s/o who is like- almost comically short?

Oh boy wouldn’t it be a shame if this anon asked me to do a size difference nsfw headcanons one next? Wink wink.

Mercs with an S/O who’s a small menace to society

WARNING: Older bigger men bullying the ever living shit out you. (kinda hot though?)

Scout:

- Scout will not hesitate to make fun of you at every given moment. He’s a decently tall dude so he’ll manhandle you a lot. Holding you in his arms like a personal teddy bear. Overall walking around with you in his arms.

- You bite his arms when you’re bored and he flinches and goes “Ow! What are you? A fuckin’ goblin?!” (Doesn’t he know? The smaller you are, the closer you are to hell.)

- “I could probably slug you into the stratosphere y’know.” He says. You don’t want to test that theory.

- When he’s upset he’ll pick you up, go into his quarters and lay there with you in his arms. Just like the aforementioned teddy bear analogy. If you’re screeching and biting like a fucked up chihuahua that doesn’t deter him.

————————————————————————

Soldier:

- Keeps giving you petnames like “Boot.” “Little one.” “Rat bastard.” (Ignore that last one.) and cheesy shit like that. Treats you how a rich middle aged white woman would treat her teacup pig. You’re being strapped to his back in a baby carrier while he rocket jumps.

- Gets incredibly rough with you on purpose. He likes seeing your squeaks and angry reactions. This guy definitely has a height difference thing. Throws you at enemy lines at like mach 20 knowing full well you’ll shred them like a fucking gremlin. Or stuffs you into his rocket launcher. Pick your evil.

- Lies about you being younger in order to pay less in restaurants. He somehow gets away with this 90 percent of the time. Spy is kind of envious that he didn’t even think of that.

- “NO! WAIT! DONT SHOOT! HANGFIRE! CHILD ON BATTLEFIELD!” He raises you above his head. You’re unbelievably pissed. You’re a grown ass adult. But the enemy lines somehow hesitate which abides him time to blow everyone up. He has no reason to be this smart about your height.

——————————————————————-

Demoman:

- The first time he saw you he burst out laughing. Really hard. Like nearly fell over and shit. He couldn’t stop laughing like actually. It took him days to even approach you properly and finally call you adorable.

- Picks you up when you can’t reach something off the top shelf and instead of helping you get it, he just sits you atop the shelf and leaves you there. They have to call either Heavy or Sniper in order to get you down.

- You take advantage of your height and perch on his shoulders like a parrot. The other mercs don’t understand why Demoman has a pet gremlin.

- “Er’ is my crotch goblin Y/N. They’re gonna bite your dick off if ye cap this point lad!” You can’t say you disagree with that.

————————————————————————

Engineer:

- A romantic partner whose tinier than him? Sign him the fuck up. Cradles you like a baby and kisses your head. Bounces you on his lap to soothe you. Expect a lot of sitting outside on the rocking chair at night while he rocks you in a blanket.

- You make grabby hands to him for uppies and he feels like he’s not allowed to say no. “Aww, sugarplum…” He cooes, setting down whatever he was working on and lifting you up into his arms. He might tickle your tummy if you’re fine with that :)

- Picks you up by the scruff of your uniform like a mother cat when you’re misbehaving. He will stare in amusement if you struggle.

- “Careful outside on the Badlands, darlin.. Never know when one of ‘em damn condors might be circling you.” You can’t decide if you want to kiss this man or kill him.

———————————————————————-

Heavy:

- You’re literally so small he’s scared of accidentally stepping on you or something. Always has to wiggle his way around you in the base corridors and mutter what you assume to be an apology in Russian. What you don’t know is that he’s actually cursing out the Administrator for hiring such a tiny Merc. What if you get squashed by falling debris or something?

- HE PICKS YOU UP WITH ONE HAND. YOU ARE IN HIS FUCKING FIST. YOU ARE BEING HELD LIKE AN ICE CREAM CONE.

- Treats you like a fucking stress ball. scoops you up in his hands and squishes your cheeks. Lays you on his lap like a small kitten belly up. No amount of biting or awful demon noises will ever convince him to do otherwise. Chuckles lovingly at your tiny anger. “Little, little, little. Tiny like the ant.” He baby talks you.

- Due to your height it’s impossible to bother him. Unlike the others. You can gnaw at his ankles and scratch at his chest but he remains unmoved like a large boulder. Threatens to splat you against the wall like one of those rubber toys and turn you into a pancake.

——————————————————————-

Pyro:

- In his point of view you’re actually terrifying. He doesn’t know why. But you stand out from the rest in their beloved Pyroland. You’re a creature from the primordial depths of hell that has come to eat their soul. You’re uncanny as shit.

- When they meet you for the first time it takes for godamn ever for the Mercs to finally figure out why Pyro was behaving so erratically and out of character. Engineer finally convinces poor Pyro to speak to you and it doesn’t end up in vain. You’re actually a pleasant scary monster.

- Spies don’t scare them. Pyro can kill spies with no effort. But you? Holy shit. Sometimes he doesn’t hear you come up behind them and this usually leads to Pyro spontaneously crying because you startled them. (Your team’s Spy is VERY envious of this.)

- You think this is great! You decide to play a prank on them by crawling on all fours down the dark hallway. Pyro looks like a deer in headlights. All tensed up like a cat attempting to look bigger. Two seconds later the entire base is on fire. You have to explain yourself to the other Mercs how this happened and it’s embarrassing.

- Whenever you kill someone on the battlefield it’s horrific shrieking mixed in with fleshy eating sounds.

—————————————————————-

Sniper:

- Calls you stuff like “Baby bear.” Mostly because he purposely holds you like a mama koala in his camper van’s bed and in the sniper nests. You cling to his lap and listen to his heartbeat while he scopes out the window.

- Same as scout to some extent. Carries you around wherever he goes and holds you like a plush doll. “Easy there on the lil’ daggers, mate.” You keep digging into his skin to hold steady.

- Growls at you when you bite him. Something about you both is evil and animalistic. Bites you back on your “scruff” when you bother him too much. He wants to shake you around in his teeth like a fucking chewtoy but he knows full well that might accidentally kill you. Has straight up cute aggression around you.

- Sniper your furry is showing. Helen, get yo fuckin dog bitch.

——————————————————————

Medic:

- “Well it seems you stopped growing at a certain age. That typically is due to genetics and other factors.” He says after looking at X-rays of your finger bones. Tracing his finger over the image of your growth plates as he squints to see better. He fixes his glasses back up on his nose and scratches his chin.

- He gives you a mischievous side smile. It’s unsettling. He secretly finds the size difference incredibly attractive. He tells you to take the lead vest off and waves his hand dismissively when you question his creepy expression. “What?! It is just my usual smile. I always look like this.”

- You’re not convinced. You take the vest off and straighten your team uniform a bit to get yourself situated. Without warning he grabs you by the wrist as you attempt to leave. “Ah-ba-ba-ba! I didn’t say you could go yet.” He pulls you against his chest. Forcibly. His natural heat was causing your heart beat out of your chest. He kneeled down and wrapped his arms around you. Cupping a hand over your mouth. You couldn’t move.

- The way you were (in theory) powerless was exhilarating for him. He placed his free hand on your chest and marveled in your heartbeat. Really? That’s all he wanted? Medic let out a long pleasured sigh. “Oh, that’s gooood.” He feels like he could potentially hold your tiny heart in a cute little decorated specimen jar but that would kill you, sadly. Can’t have that.

———————————————————————

Spy:

- Has unimaginable amounts of trauma from his father figure and you help him cope with said trauma a lot by being small. He deeply regrets passing by the chance of raising Scout. That in-and-itself was also a traumatic experience for him. Whenever it isn’t romantic lovey dovey adult time you lay in his arms and he looks over your adorable small body with adoration in his eyes.

- He rubs your small cheek and although he’s still frowning like always — you know full well this man is losing his mind on the inside. This was oddly healing for him. He felt butterflies in his chest as he gave you the love that his family never gave him. Jesus christ, somebody get this man a silicone baby or some shit. And a therapist. Mostly a therapist.

- He has no idea how to baby you to be honest. No fucking clue and he isn’t great at this. He does what he’s seen people do before in public. Wrap you in a blanket and pats your back. He says nothing as he does this. “There’s a scared little boy behind that mask isn’t there?” You ask him lovingly.

- He avoids eye contact after you say that. Looking away shamefully. His mouth twitches. You put your head under his chin contently.

- He stalks you and monitors you on the battlefield. Ready to stab the ever living crap out of anyone who overpowers you. In a particularly rough situation with an enemy heavy he risks his own life to backstab the opponent. You batter him for being too bold and exclaim that he could’ve killed himself. But Spy side eyes you, fixing his tie and cloaking away. He was secretly proud of himself that he had finally managed to protect somebody smaller than him. To make up for all the times he wasn’t there for Scout.

[sirrabbithat]

Bird Au head cannons part two! And I'm definitely turning this into a fic-

Graves is a bald eagle baby!!! America yeah!!! 🦅 🦅 🦅 🦅 🦅 🦅 But seriously his natural confidence just suits a bird of prey perfectly. Bald eagle also tend to be cowardly scavengers who steal other birds food. Just seems like something he'd do-

Köing is a King bird of paradise. Mostly because Köing translates to king but also they have a natural red hood. And yeah while there are tons of birds with natural hoods over their heads these little guys are hard to find. Similar to a sniper "There is little information available about this species' behavior. They are inconspicuous and may be hard to locate" - Wikipedia. Köing also has very little information available about him on his wiki page. And similar to how König is extremely tall and should be impossible to hide the king bird of paradise is extremely colorful and also should be impossible to hide. But both are able to hide perfectly! So much so that the king bird of paradise continues to elude science.

Nikolia is a European shag! These birds while not usually native to Russia (let's be honest none of these birds aside from graves is native to the characters home countries) does nest on Russians Europ facing cost during breeding season! They are extremely good at flying and spend most of their time in the air and the Shag is one of the deepest diving seabirds out there! And the name is funny.. I love a good silly bird name!

In this Au his wings are destroyed beyond any hopes of flight so in order to get back into the air he learned how to fly helicopters.

Horangi is a Brehms tiger parrot. Obviously his name translating to tiger has Alot to do with this choice but as usual there's more reasons!! These birds are extremely good at camouflage with their almost camo colored feathers hiding them from potential predators. Horangi also hides. But not from predators, he hides his face from everyone using his mask. The Brehms tiger parrot is also known for the stripes along their back. And not to spoil too much but Horangi also has "tiger stripes" along his back.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Since 1.6 released combat trinkets. What do you think the are the favorite combat trinkets of each of the castle villager’s adventurers/mages?

Alesia: The combination of a golden spur and a magic quiver will make Alesia incredibly fast and deadly. Like lightning, the spur will give her a speed boost when killing monsters, and the magic quiver will help her cover her back while she fires her trusty bow. If the sniper combines this with rings, she can safely be called the strongest adventurer in the entire Republic. Even the chaotic Farmer will have a bit of a hard time pulling against her.

Camilla: frog egg. Just because I think our witch would love a little pet. Which, btw, will come as a great shock to her detractors and amusement to the witch herself. Imagine someone (definitely an idiot, since they wanted to fight her) deciding to pit a powerful mythical beast (dragon, phoenix, whatever your heart desires) against the main witch of Castle Village. And Camilla only smiled slyly and let her cute little frog out of her hands. And no sooner had her opponents taunted her than the frog swallowed the mythical creature in Kirby-style, leaving her foes completely embarrassed. Camilla is sure to die laughing. The parrot egg is also a great option: cute feather pet that brings her shiny coins (in my headcanon, also gems). The rest of the trinkets will be of much use to her, I think - she can conjure anything without it.

Lance: an ice rod that will freeze your opponent in place, allowing you to strike or retreat? Oh, Lance could definitely use that. Our adventurer is also a mage, after all, so wands, staffs and rods are not uncommon in his arsenal. The fairy box will also help him reduce his use of life elixirs (ingredients for them are a bit hard to come by), or help him out if no elixirs at all. There's also a magical hair gel. I know, it's not exactly a combat trinket, but how else to explain our gallant adventurer's spiky hair that stays the same even in the rain?

Isaac: I'm sure Isaac wouldn't mind a basilisk paw, because he's a melee adventurer, so he's bound to run into annoying debuffs like slowdown from slimes or blindness from shadow sniper. And with this trinket, the grumpy monster hunter can breathe a sigh of relief - one less problem. Parrot egg will also be useful to him, because, as I believe, the life of an adventurer is not too sweet, every coin on the account, and a little helper that will look for money when you kill monsters - quite useful thing. The rest of the trinkets related to magic, he is not interested (Isaac will definitely not carry a fairy box with him out of principle).

Jadu: maybe some will scoff at Jadu because he's always carrying the fairy box around, but the young wizard will definitely have the last laugh when the fairy heals his wounds in a difficult situation. And also, as a self-respecting magician, Jadu couldn't pass by an ice rod that will freeze his enemies in a flash.

[slimekatz]

tf2 but they are all furries (based on cosmetics/personality/mechanics!) scout is a hare, soldier is a raccoon, pyro is a firebug, demoman is a parrot, heavy is a polar bear, engineer is an armadillo, medic is a red fox, sniper is a crocodile, spy is a snow leopard!

sniper's cosmetic set inspired the whole thing.

BASED ON COSMETICS: scout, soldier, demoman

BASED ON PERSONALITY(ish): pyro, heavy, engineer, medic

BASED ON MECHANICS: spy

ask me in the comments about the guys if you'd like, or comment if you think a diff animal would be better (i will probably draw it)

[quibblet21]

My Headcanons for BLU Sniper

There are many fans who have headcanons for the TF2 team and many are quite interesting to the point that I adopted some of them. The one I mainly (attempt to) write about is the BLU Sniper and his fellow teammates, since he's the main character in two fanfics I churned up ("Bubo" and "Dichotomy").

So, this is just from my point of view. Anyone who finds these ideas dumb or absurd, oh well, can't please everybody :)

NOTE: This is a long bullet list, so read at your own discretion and only if you have more time to spare.

Like with the rest of BLU Team, he's a clone, supposedly created by TF Industries. In reality, aliens did the work and supplied the clones to the human scientists.

Since the clones don't have given names, he calls himself Cyril.

Unlike RED Sniper, who's far-sighted, he's near-sighted and so his aviators also double as prescription glasses. Not good if they get shot out during a match. The only plausible explanation I could come up with is TF Industries or Mann Co. found a doctor who customizes glasses to resemble the real thing.

Although he has the RED Sniper's warfare abilities due to retaining learned memory through cloning, he's still not as highly skilled as his enemy. He keeps practicing though.

He's a bit more social and curious about asking people things, not making him quite an introvert or a loner per se. He has some friends outside the team, though he's very careful about disclosing to them what he does for a living.

He views the BLU Team as his family; they're the only ones he's ever known living and training with them at TF Industries' R&D branch during their extremely short "youth" phases.

He prefers his living quarters at the base.

He has a camper van, but it was given to him by TF Industries; they assumed that he would make use of it like RED Sniper does with his van. Not having any interest in mobile living, BLU Sniper simply uses it as a transportation vehicle. He does have to deal with Scout or Demoman asking multiple times if they can borrow it.

He has several of RED Sniper's preferences, mainly that he loves coffee and is not a happy person if he doesn't get it. He also doesn't mind wearing an Australian slouched hat.

He gets along with most of his teammates, with the exception of Soldier, who sometimes steals food off everyone's plates and Spy, who loves playing pranks on everyone.

Even though he's a clone, he doesn't possess the RED Sniper's uber hunting instincts or utilizing his own piss against enemies. So, you won't find him hunting rabbits or pheasants in the morning for breakfast. He also prefers a strong pressure washer-like weapon to blow back enemies (similar to Pyro's Airblast) or put out his teammates on fire.

He is considered more empathetic than his RED counterpart and more trusting, giving the chance he could sometimes be manipulated.

After the war, he'd consider a career in wildlife or for a more risky approach, a sniper on the SWAT team. He doesn't possess as much of a killer instinct enough for an assassin role, but still enough to be a dutiful soldier in battle.

Although he speaks with an Australian accent (a strange side-effect in the cloning process), he tends to use more American vernacular like 'my towel' instead of 'me towel' or 'Hey!' instead of 'Oi!'

He and BLU Team are actually Americans since they were born in the Badlands at TF Industries (or so that's the story they've been told).

He could easily imitate an American accent just for fun.

He has a close bond with an Spotted Owl named Bubo enough to the point it later becomes a psychic link.

He suffers from PTSD (Combat Stress Syndrome during the 1960s), based on real-life cases with veterans. It gets worse during the last year of the Gravel Wars.

He has erratic dreams of a strange symbol and ominous aliens.

He occasionally sleepwalks.

He's often a victim in his teammates' crazy antics when they're caught by police.

He often accuses Demoman's parrot of stealing his trail mix and candy in his bedroom.

Unlike RED Sniper, he doesn't like alligator or snake meat.

He doesn't keep pictures of his enemies to cross out.

He's not as cool-headed as RED Sniper and can get emotional about things, particularly if it concerns innocent people hurt or a dirty antic that RED used in a match.

He's often hunted more in the matches by the RED Sniper, as the latter has a strong predatory instinct to take out prey that's a mockery of him.

He later falls for Athene, another clone and younger version of The Administrator. This is a tribute to their married voice actors, John Patrick Lowrie and Ellen McClain.

As a clone, who was intentionally designed to last 10-12 years, he dies sometime around 1980. RED Sniper outlives him by several decades.

In terms of archtype, he's the Hero to RED Sniper's Anti-Hero.

He later becomes the de facto leader of other clones discovered and feels more of a kinship with them than to humans.

[thegreatcaptainusopp]

TheGreatCaptainUsopp’s fanfiction.net Usopp Fic Rec List

Note: all are genfic bc that’s what I prefer. All are also written prior to 2013 bc that was my first foray into one piece

1. Fortunae Gauntlet by Velkyn Karma: this is probably my favorite Usopp fic on ff.net. It’s SO good. All this author’s one piece fics are also great and I recommend them all, but this one is my personal favorite.

2. The Psychology of a Shattered Mind by Liashi FNA Sora: unfinished and that will always break my heart. SO much world building in this one. It is really dark and sad tho and goes into some pretty dark themes so be warned. Usopp is full on suffering all the time in this one.

3. Til You Feel It All Around You by Tonko: REQUIRED READING I’m so serious. This is technically a Usopp + Zoro + Robin fic and it is just a masterpiece.

4. Two Words Unsaid by Fire Kitten. Complete gut punch of a fic. No words tbh. Also highly recommend Rendezvous Point and What It Means by the same author

5. Showdown! Twelve Shots to the Sniper King by Aemillia: really good stuff! Very much showcased Usopp’s skill as a sniper. Another Zoro + Usopp + Robin trio fic.

6. Tiger Hunt by X-parrot: it’s a Zoro fic but there is a lot of Usopp and he’s really well written! Also it’s a great fic generally too.

[leadshootingcupid]

hi hi!

soo, i've been reading about australian birds recently, and they’re so much more colorful and unique than the ones I grew up with! do you have any favorites, or are there any you'd like to talk about? i'd love to listen.

and, on another note... do you have any tips for staying warm? i’m freezing in this gloomy weather...

have a good one, yea? don’t forget to drink water and take breaks while working.

- 🪶

Hey mate! Nice to see ya.

Ah, there's a ton, of course, 'n I'd prolly be able to break the character limit in this thing if ya gave me the time.

Engie brought up Kookaburras not too long ago, so that's gonna be a good one to get more into. They got massively strong beaks on their li'l bodies, which helps 'em with their carnivore diet - even eatin small mammals 'n other birds if they can catch 'em.

Laughin' Kookaburras are monogamous, 'n they stay with the same partner for life. Sweet li'l critters.

They also call 'em the "bushman's alarm clock" - 'n they do that for good reason, let me tell ya. LOUD buggers they are.

'N they do sound like they're laughin. Not as offputtin' as a hyena may be (not by a long shot, if yer askin ol' Sniper), but it might scare ya straight if ya wake up to hearin' it for the first time.

Other ones I'd count to my favorites gotta be Rainbow Lorikeets, Tawny Frogmouths (ya GOTTA look those up if ya haven't seen em yet), Southern Cassowaries 'n Rock Parrots.

We also got penguins! Little Penguins, to be exact. Someone got bloody bored on choosin' names right there, HAH. They also 'em Fairy Penguins, though. I like the colorin' on those. Buggers look blue-ish when light hits 'em right.

As far as stayin' nice 'n warm goes... ya definitely gotta onion layer yer clothes, put on good socks 'n a good jacket, make sure yer inner layers keep as dry as possible if yer outside, 'n absolutely keep yer neck covered.

A scarf might not look like much, but it can save yer life.

For better advice, ya might actually wanna ask our big guy instead. He's got a lot more experience when it comes to not freezin' than yer Aussie does.

Anyhow, you take care too, will ya?

'Preciate ya. October 's gettin busy but 's nothin the the team 'n I can't handle. 'N I did sober up 'n drink a bunch of water today anyway, ok. Thanks, mate.

[eric-makes-art]

Hi I have a question!

If you don't mind whould you like to explain what the hybrid types your AU are? And which merc is which hybrid?

Hmmmmm well here let me make a simple list! Reds first than blues

Red:

Chris - werewolf hybrid.

Sniper - owl harpy hybrid

Medic- dove harpy hybrid

Heavy - polerbear hybrid

Engi - bee hybrid {bc I love the bee engi fr}

Demo - parrot hybrid

Soldier - raccoon hybrid

Spy - French lop rabbit hybrid {bc his son is a rabbit two}

Scout - American rabbit hybrid

Pyro - wingless dragon hybrid

Blue:

Sara - werehyena hybrid

Blu sniper - tiger shark

Blu medic - crow harpy hybrid

Blu heavy - grizzly bear hybrid {he lives somewhere warmer, it's not Russia but he is Russian!}

Blu engi - Flannel Moth hybrid {bc why not?}

Blu demo - cockatiel hybrid

Blu soldier - eagle harpy hybrid {bc in this AU there both American}

Blu spy - rattle snake

Blu scout - garden snake {he got no wrizz he get no venom.}

Blu pyro - same thing as red {there dragon friends :)}

There a whole God damn list...gezz that's alot of typing..

[hylianassassin]

A Hot Take on Gerudo Survival Skills

I'm not going to rant and rave about the majority of the discord surrounding Tears of the Kingdom when it comes to Ganondorf vs Hyrule. There are more than enough posts circulating about that out there by plenty of good and intelligent folks, and I've already offered my thoughts on it. I encourage folks to go check those out.

What I'm tired of seeing is the argument that the Gerudo have little to nothing to survive on in the desert. This is one of the most badass and longest enduring tribes in all of Zelda and yet for some odd reason folks seem to insist that they're somehow unable to exploit the incredible amount of resources available to them. I've played desert survival challenges in BotW where I exist solely within the Gerudo area for extended periods of time, and if you know what you're doing its actually quite easy.

Anyone who has spent ample time around the Gerudo region in either of these games knows just how incredibly abundant food is in the Gerudo Highlands. There is a ton of large game up there that is easy to bring down with a single headshot from a Gerudo bow. Gerudo bows are sniper bows and are far from useless. Are we going to argue that these very strong and powerful ladies can't do something as simple as draw one of the bows of their own making, or know how to track prey through the snow? One might argue that we never see a Gerudo in the Highlands or in possession of clothing warm enough to survive up there, but I would counter with the fact that the ice house exists and it's clearly stated that the ice is harvested and brought down from the Highlands. This argument is invalid.

Additionally, the desert itself is abound in fruits and poultry ripe for the harvesting. And obviously it's done to such efficiency that there is an ample enough supply to make a profit in selling these items at market, to both Gerudo and Hylians alike. There is obviously enough surplus of hydro melons that there is a Gerudo NPC that devours them to such excess as to clog up one of the fountains in Gerudo Town.

And while we're on the topic, the Gerudo clearly have an ample enough water supply that they can run fountains constantly, all through their town. So clearly they're not struggling there.

Additionally still, Moldugas exist and are shockingly common. Yes, they're big, powerful and dangerous, but if one little twink with enough bomb arrows can kill one then are you going to tell me that this tribe of intelligent, hearty, and highly trained women cannot organize a Molduga hunt with relative ease?

Various Native American groups were able to thrive on only one or two bison hunts a year. It was dangerous, extremely, but they had it down to a science. You're going to tell me that the Gerudo are incapable of such coordination? Honestly it could even explain and deepen their connection to the sand seals. These lovely creatures can carry a few skilled huntresses through a Molduga's territory to flush it out, and with more than one target the Molduga wouldn't know which one to chase. Throw in archers who are on the rocks or ruins and a Molduga dinner is practically guaranteed. And let's not forget that with typical Moldugas, three blasts from Urbosa's fury is more than enough to bring it down. Given that Riju also possesses lightning magic, and the fact that there is a sage in Rauru's time who also controls lightning, I think we can safely assume that the ability is common enough that it can be relied upon. It wouldn't take anything for the chief to organize a Molduga hunt and ride proudly out there with her sisters to feed the tribe for a good while.

So yes, I'm not saying there aren't issues with Totk's plot or its handling of Ganondorf, but I'm tired of seeing people parrot this idea that the Gerudo are struggling to survive when they're more than capable of doing so. They were doing it long before Ganondorf, and they've done it long after him too. So please, stop using this reasoning to justify Ganondorf outright murdering someone in cold blood just to obtain their Zonai stone. It just doesn't work.

And as a side note, there is clearly a demarcation within the tribe at the time of Totk Ganondorf's reign due to how the Gerudo sage reacts to hearing that he's overcome the last free (yes that's the word they use) Gerudo villages. From what is shown, Ganondorf and his followers are an extremist terrorist group within the tribe.

Again, I'm not saying that there aren't problems with his motivations (and I really hate the greenish skin tone), but he is clearly not doing what he does for the benefit of his tribe. He might think he is, but he isn't. And there are much better arguments that could be made than just, oh the Gerudo are struggling to survive and Hyrule is full and fertile and blah blah blah. And it isn't like Rauru is trying to withhold Hyrule's bounty or otherwise fuck over the Gerudo. It's even stated that he's sent multiple invitations to them to join up with the Hyrulean tribes and share the bounty.

I'm going to repeat myself yet again: stop treating the Gerudo as incompetent and use basic survival and lack of resources to justify what Ganondorf does. It doesn't work.

Side side note: Urbosa's amiibo drops primarily meat. Interpret that as you will. And Ganondorf's legendary cursed grin when he commits said murder? That is not the smile of a sane man.

[emilythedog661-tf2]

Wild Animal Fortress AU

This is going to a technically 2 AU as one is going to be the mercs as mammals and the other going to be them as birds, so anyway, there is no backstory to this, this is just my opinion on what the TF2 mercs would be as wild animals.

Mammals

Scout - Hare - This one is one of the obvious ones as scout is fast, hares are fast so it makes sense that scout is a hare.

Soldier - Red Deer - This is also kinds of a obvious one due to soldier having a cosmetic which is antlers so soldier is a deer, soldier deer also had 2 types of antlers, one where the antlers are growing out of him and poking out of his helmet then the other one is antlers attached to his helmet when his antlers shed.

Pyro - Rat - I made Pyro a rat as they can be mischievous like what pyro is and rats are also really clever and pyro has been shown in the comic that he's intellagent so pyro is a rat

Demoman - Scottish Blackface Sheep Ram - Demo is a sheep ram because of his charging as well as his rivalry with soldier so the pair have horn bash fights sometimes to see who had better horns.

Heavy - Brown Bear - This one is obvious due to heavy's size, his teddy bear personality and having a cosmetic which is a brown bear.

Engineer - Beaver - Another obvious one as engineer builds things and beavers are known for building dams so engineer is a beaver.

Medic - Coyote - I made medic a coyote as coyotes are known for working with other animals to get food so in this case, medic working with heavy and the others to protect the forest they live in.

Sniper - Lynx - I chose lynx for sniper due to their great eye sight, the ability to climb to high spots, their slimness and their agility which suits sniper well.

Spy - Fox - Last obvious one as foxes are sly and sneaky like spy so spy suits a fix well.

That is the Mammals, now for the birds

Scout - North Cardinal - Scout has this as a pet cosmetic as well as a bird head so it makes sense for him to be one.

Soldier - Bold Eagle - Soldier has 2 eagle pet cosmetics and a bird head with voice lines so again, makes sense to make him a eagle.

Pyro - Wild Duck - It feels like it makes sense for pyro to be a duck due to the obsession he has with rubber duckies.

Demoman - Macaw Parrot - Has a parrot pet cosmetic and a bird head so it makes sense for him to be a parrot.

Heavy - Robin - Heavy has a robin pet cosmetic and a bird head with voice lines so it makes sense even if it's way too small and heavy needs a bigger bird like a ostrich but a robin will do.

Engineer - American Goldflinch - I think this is the closest bird that engineer's pet cosmetic and bird head is based on but i couldn't find what bird engineer's bird cosmetic is based on so he is a goldflinch.

Medic - Dove - Makes sense as he had his doves mainly archimedes and his bird head with voice lines so medic is a dove.

Sniper - Owl - Has a owl pet cosmetic and a bird head with voice lines so it makes sense that sniper is a owl

Spy - Raven - He has a pet cosmetic and a bird head of a raven so it makes sense he is a raven

That's all for now, sorry it's short as i can't really think of a backstory for wild animal TF2 character but if you have one, put it in the comments 😋

[gearvmac]

luna shiranui’s in dept biography

⟡ full name : luna shiranui

⟡ occupation(s) : first mate, sniper

⟡ crew : the brass knuckle pirates

⟡ affiliation : the straw hat pirates, the red haired pirates, the heart pirates

⟡ nickname(s) : hot-head, shiranui, puncture human

⟡ epithet : "crack-shot" luna

⟡ origin : the west blue (momo island)

⟡ residence : n/a

⟡ status : alive

⟡ birthday : october 2nd

⟡ age : 24 (pre-time skip)/ 26 (post-time skip)

⟡ height : 165cm

⟡ bounty : 500,000 (when she joins the crew)

⟡ eye color : hazel

⟡ hair color : brown

⟡ body type : average/a bit muscular

⟡ sexuality : straight

⟡ alignment : chaotic good

⟡ dream : to become the greatest sharpshooter in the world

⟡ species : human

⟡ personality : she might be seen as the comedic relief of the crew, she has a sarcastic sense of humor. she is unselfish, stubborn, and compassionate and will stop at nothing to protect her friends and help people in need. she might appear as confident in her abilities to fight at first but this facade quickly fades, revealing a certain lack of self-confidence. she will work on her courage throughout her whole journey with the help of her friends. most of all, she is completely devoted to her captain and will follow her through all adversities.

⟡ friends/allies : the brass knuckles, the straw hats, the whitebeard pirates, captain frost, lieutenant hawk barr, the kid pirates, the red hair pirates, the heart pirates

⟡ enemies : the marines, the world government, buggy the clown, alvida, boa hancock, donquixote doflamingo

⟡ love interest : sir crocodile

⟡ love status : lovers, but nothing more

⟡ love trope : enemies to lovers

⟡ main appearances :

⟡ special feature(s) : white sleeve tattoo on her left arm, one scar on her nose and many on her body, a necklace she wraps around her wrist that belonged to her little sister.

⟡ devil fruit : pamu-pamu no mi/ pop-pop fruit (eats it during the time skip)

⟡ description of fruit : allows the user to cause their own body or any inorganic object they touch to rupture and explode.

⟡ weapon(s) : a pistol, a long-range shotgun (she will gain more guns after the time skip)

⟡ haki : armament

⟡ likes : the smell of gunpowder, food, money, hawaiian shirts

⟡ dislikes : cherry (megan’s parrot)

⟡ trivia :

she’s seasick. always was, always will. it mostly happens on small boats when there’s turmoil.

she has beef with cherry, being her captain’s parrot. she finds her annoying and turns out they both annoy each other equally.

loves money. can be corrupted if offered a large amount.

she never gets along with any creatures nor animals the crew meet.

⟡ backstory :

once luna’s little sister was born, her parents started to push a young luna to the side. treating her unfairly, as if she was unworthy of the things that she had gained or done. she felt unwanted, causing her to develop a need to prove them wrong. to prove to them that she was deserving of the things she had and deserving of their love.

what better way to prove herself than to enter the marine’s elite force? with this goal in mind, she began training in her small village, where Luna would gain her remarkable sharpshooting skills (the best on her island). but luna’s dream of joining the marines was quickly forgotten once she realized what the marines were all about. how most of the marines didn’t even defend the weak, but would rather take advantage of them. shiranui quickly came to this realization when a group of marines came to the village and started illegally stealing from the residents. that was when the young luna promised to grow stronger. strong enough to protect her sister and her village, and to become stronger than the marines ever hoped to be.

around her 18th birthday, she sets sail to get stronger and be able to protect her village from any pirates or marines that would dare hurt them.

during her training and her journey of two years, she gets badly injured multiple times. she trains very hard and gains multiple scars.

later on, when a now 20-year-old Luna comes back to her home village, she finds it completely different from what she remembers. she then discovers that the new constructions are built in front of an immense graveyard and destroyed buildings where resided tombstones that had the names of everyone she used to know including graves of her family amongst the sorrowful sight. pirates had raided her village soon after Luna had taken off on her voyage, the young sharpshooter realizing that she’d narrowly escaped the fate that a good amount of her village had faced, and she didn’t even know until two years too late. as she was away becoming stronger, her village had become weaker because of the hands of some filthy pirates.

the surviving villagers then ambush luna after her discovery and imprison her for two years putting the blame on her, believing that she had worked with the pirates, and that it was her fault that her village was demolished. thinking that it wasn’t a mere coincidence that not long after she leaves on her journey, her village is attacked and raided. and of course, traitors are never treated kindly nor fairly but the higher-ups of the village or even the villagers themselves.

after being imprisoned for two years, shiranui is banished from the island. from this moment forward, she swears to never abandon anyone again and will fight for those she’s loyal to until the threat no longer lingers. this is a sentiment that she would later swear to her future captain.

during the following two years after her release, she wanders around, hiding from pirates and marines while training whenever she can. luna meets daddy masterson around that time when he is on his way back from a trip to loguetown. she pleads for masterson to train her, without any success.

after all of these events, she is 24 and is found by megan who will embark her on an unbelievably long journey to find the one piece.

tagging the crew and peeps who i think would like to know more about this girl; @shizukana-yoru @stuckinthewrongworld @malewifefirestar @silkcrowsocs @finding-comfort-in-rain @sinclxirx @simonxriley @onehornedbeast