#snek should shut up now

[akamikazae]

oh my god im dying to know what you wrote for bokami!!

Ah! thanks for asking! <3 I don’t have much, mainly just vague plot ideas and lil bits of dialogue. 

Akami went to Nohebi high school - hehe snek school, Where she played volleyball. Tho she and Bokuto don’t officially meet until their sophomore year of College. Bokuto and Kuroo are college roommates + vball teammates. Kuroo and Akami also have a couple classes tg. Bokuto's trying very hard to get though her cynicism and trust issues. And she finds him and his cringe-fail optimism and thoughtfulness very endearing.  ~I have this lil scene and then some more blabby- plot stuff under the cut

Bokuto cannot help himself, he’s darting around the court like his life depends on it and calling after every ball. A kill, two digs, service ace after service ace. Everytime he so much as touches the ball he glances to the stands, to where Akami is sitting. He needs to make sure she’s watching. This is the first time she’s been able to come and see him, even if it is just practice. He scrambles out of bounds to keep the shanked ball in play.  “Take it easy”, Coach calls. But Bokuto can’t help it. It’s like he’s got the zoomies.   Another kill, straight shot, down the line, three blockers, no touch. He’s amped up. “Nice kill,” Semi cheers. As he goes up to serve.   Bokuto glances over at Akami, she’d brought her homework with her, case files spread out on the bleachers. She’s leaning on her civil procedure textbook, watching him watch her. She gives him a small thumbs up of approval as he continues to stare at her, like he’d been doing all day. He gives one back, smiles big with all his teeth. It is only then that he turns his attention back to the game, the game that had continued despite his own personal pause. The ball is spiked by his teammate directly into Bokuto’s face. The gymnasium rings out in a chorus of “ooohs.” The whistle sounds, giving the other side a point and ending the rally. Bokuto is doing his very best to play it off like it didn’t hurt and that he’s perfectly fine despite the nosebleed and the ‘Mikasa’ logo imprinted on the side of his face.  “You okay?” Akami asks, cringing at the blood on his t-shirt as he sinks down on the bleachers in the row in front of her. “I’m fine- I’m great!” He says, pinching his nose. Akami closes her textbook, “You don’t look so great.”  They both turn their attention back to the game. “You know, I have a lot of homework, maybe I should finish up at the library.”  “No, no you don’t have to go.” He scrambles. “I’ll be back in in no time!”  “I don’t want to distract you,” she says  “Oh , what, no you’re not distracting me!” “This-” he gestures to his nose, “this is nothing, don’t worry about it, it happens all the time.”  Akami raises her brow, doing her best not to laugh. “You get hit in the face all the time?”  “Yeah--No! I mean…uhh,” He sighs to himself, tipping his head back in defeat, “I’m shutting up now.” He has completely and utterly embarrassed himself in front of her, yet again. He sinks back into the small space between the bleachers, hoping that the universe will take pity on him and open up a crater in the earth to swallow him whole. Or at the very least let him hide beneath the stands.     Akami chuckles beneath her breath and scoots down to the bleacher seat beside him. “Here”, she says, handing him a few napkins she scrounged up from her bag. "and you should tip your head forward." Bokuto perks up immediately, smiling through his embarrassment and thanking her, as if she handed him a gold medal and not some crumpled up old napkins from the dining hall. She rests her chin in her hand, while he takes her advice and stares at his sneakers, nose pinched with the napkins rambling excitedly about how he's been working on back row attacks. Akami can't help it, she smiles back, hiding her grin in her palm. **

— I’m sorry but I can’t have story without some level of angst lol. They date for almost two years, and as they’re getting ready to go into their senior year of College Bokuto gets drafted in the V league. He decides to surprise her with the news, which totally backfires. Akami takes it as a slight, in that he doesn’t consider her in his future. She low-key waits for him to ask her to move with him, but he doesn’t because he doesn’t want her to uproot her life and opportunities for him. She stays in Tokyo, finishing school and working an internship at a law firm, he moves to Osaka. They break up.

Three years go by. They run into each other at hotel. She’s there for the work, he’s there for a game. They decide to try being friends again, because they miss having each other in their lives. She goes to his games when she can or they meet up when he’s nearby or vice versa. She has to go to Osaka for work, he offers—insists— she stay with him so he can show her around the city. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him no, even though she’d been to the city many times. Staying just friends doesn’t last they hookup her last night there, he tells her he still loves her, etc, etc. And they try doing the long distance thing. I haven’t exactly figured out how to keep them tg yet, without one of them having to give up their job, but I am working on it. Okay big ramble over lol ! thanks for asking! And thanks again for giving me them ❤︎₊ ⊹ wip game

[blu3cl0v3rs]

I Can't Explain Ninjago

Season 3: Rebooting Rebooted

So, apparently the world goes on after possessed Satan becomes a DILF, and "The Ninja" apparently went to college or are teaching without a license. But not Trauma Child, he's busy being paraded around Ninjago! Anyways, Spiky, Freezy, Coal, Bluejay, and Meow all become teachers.

Meanwhile, newly named New Ninjago City becomes super duper techy and all of the vehicles fly. The teachers go on a field trip to the tower of the guy who invented all of the new technology: Anxious Tony Stark, who will be called Cyborg. Cyborg has a robot daughter named Pixie Dust, who gets Freezy's heart, metaphorically. Cyborg summons "the Ninja" (obv not including Trauma Child, he's busy fucking around with god's gold powers that he got by sort of taking the other "Ninja's" elemental power last season) and gives them a statue of himself.

These assholes break the statue, but it's okay because it was built to break. It has some funky Hacker Sticks and ninja outfits inside. Now, they're being chased by evil robots because, surprise, the Evil Liquid Cat didn't actually die; he's now a computer virus! So, he's trying to kill them again 👍 The fuckwads run away and put on the outfits that somehow fit them. Also Meow takes a buzzfeed quiz which tells her that she should date Coal, and Gandalf gets kidnapped by Evil Liquid Cat.

The six scamper off to Sensei DILF's house, and Trauma Child gets his ass whooped by running into a pole. They then get jumped by the Evil Roombas, and Freezy makes Pixie Dust turn Normal TM. Trauma Child and Sensei DILF steal a car from the Big Fighter Mech base, and they drive off into the sunset while actively being hunted down. The others go shut down the power, and then Pixie Dust now literally gets Freezy's heart. Or, well, half of it. So, she lives.

Trauma Child wants to use the god's gold powers to travel, but Sensei DILF tells him to shut up and stop, because Evil Liquid Cat can slurp up the remnants to become solid. Trauma Child also kidnaps a baby bird, and the bird's dad almost kills Sensei DILF. But, everything works out. Y'know, until Sensei DILF's chucked into the ocean and Trauma Child is kidnapped.

Meanwhile, Bluejay is mad at Coal because Bluejay wasn't the result of Meow's buzzfeed quiz and they fight, the others got their asses whooped by evil Gandalf because Evil Liquid Cat corrupted him, they learned that the evil robots are now being powered by electric eels, and they figure out that the Evil Liquid Cat was stolen by porple snek, who kidnapped Trauma Child.

"The Ninja" then decide to play the VR game that Evil Liquid Cat is trapped in, and [insert freddy fnaf at five bears reference here]. Anygays they holy grailed the motherfucker out of the game, but surprise surprise! After slurping almost all of Trauma Child's gold power from god, he gains a mostly corporeal form!!!! yayyyyyy 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 so the parkour pisschickens go to space and almost die. again. wooooo.

Oh hey also the Evil Liquid Cat finds the Big Gold-Stick Thing + god's gold weapons from the past and makes it into a portable lava lamp stand for himself. "The Ninja" fight him again, and porple snek shrinks and gets eaten by a robot bird.

They're fighting, it's really intense, all has failed and Ssomething needs to happen Now, and Freezy hopscotches his way over to the Evil Lava Lamp Cat, andddddddd.......

Freezy explodes.

Yep, he sploded 😔

Sorry, he's (supposedly) dead.

First | Previous | Next

—

sorry this took so long, school's been dragging me to my living room (aka hell) and i've been fighting through a writing slump-

Tournament of Smellements will come..... eventually? i'll try my best idk 😭

[brokenbutunbowed]

I'm officially being hired on at work (had to get into this place via temp agency) and it comes with an almost 3.50/hour raise. Unfortunately it means moving to 3rd shift for who knows how long, but I'm hoping I'll be able to worm my way back on first by this time next year. Large majority of first shift is almost-old-enough-to-retire peeps, so it's really just a waiting game. This isn't a job I'm passionate about, or find fulfillment in, but it's incredibly easier than any job I've ever had, and once I get that raise, the best paying.

I start 3rds on Monday (well, Sunday at 11pm) and was gonna use this weekend to flip my sleep schedule. I found out last minute this morning they're forcing me to work 1st shift tomorrow (we don't usually work weekends) and it's ruined my whole sleeping plan. They're supposed to announce weekend overtime by Wednesday, and overtime isn't generally mandatory for temps, only voluntary, so I'm honestly pissed. Won't even be getting paid ot because we had Monday off. So I don't even get a real day off and I have to figure out how to flip my sleep in one day instead of two.

I am pretty excited to finally have health insurance that I can use for the first time since I aged off my mom's health insurance two years ago. I'm sure I'll never fucking use it anyway because doctors suck and adhd makes appointments hard, but ya know...

My goal for this year is to finish paying off enough of our house to make the stupid PMI go away, so we no longer have to piss away an extra $200 per month for "insurance" that literally does fuck-all. I'm not sure if it's technically possible to do that in one more year, but it'll be fucking close.

After that's gone, I'll feel a lot less guilty about throwing more money into hobby related stuff. Gotta finish overhauling the basement room, tear down and reinstall new wood panels in the wall that got damaged, I wanna repaint the floor and possibly walls, a drop ceiling would be a dream (or whatever ceiling it would be called that covers up the beams and pipes and whatever). It's going to become my snake room when it's ready, which is going to be a fucking expensive multi year project considering I'm going all pvc enclosures, bioactive, halogens, uvbs, etc for every snake. I keep accidentally adding more snakes to my wishlist and it's become silly. But hey, something to dream about, right? Moving the snakes downstairs will give me more room in the current tarantula-gecko-snake room for other stuff, too, like expanding into some new gecko/lizard species and diving back into tarantulas more. Losing Xerxes two years ago hurt so bad it was hard to feel passionate about my Ts for a long time, but I can feel the joy coming back now more and more every time I'm with them.

Which reminds me, tomorrow is feeding night for the sneks and gecks.

I probably should be asleep, but my original plan was to stay up tonight as long as I possibly could to try and get ready for my new schedule, and my stubborn brain doesn't wanna shut off.

[3amsnek]

I mean I'm gonna bet your favorite good omens character is Crowley, but I'll guess your favorite WoF character would be moonwatcher?

Yepperdoodles for the snek man

But nope, not Moon

[world-of-aus]

Behind The Scene 6/?

Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky x Pornstar!Reader

Warnings: Bucky Barnes & Pepper Potts being a pair of sneaky sneks.

A/n: A little behind the scenes before the new installment releases! I swear we better get short haired Bucky next installment or im RAGING enjoy angels!

ALL OTHER WORK CAN BE FOUND ON MY MASTERLIST IN MY BIO!

“You want to what?”

There’s a knot in your throat as you chance a glance at Bucky, before looking back over at your boss, “I’d like to schedule the soldier for all six of my days – please,” you add with question.

The office grows quiet, “we understand why you might hesitate to agree to something like this,” Bucky begins, “it’s never been done before but,” Pepper raises a hand, small smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth as she takes the two of you in.

“There’s no need for an explanation,” she murmurs smirk tugging as she picks up her pen going back to the calendar, her eyes meet yours, “just wanted to make sure I had heard right is all.”

You raise a brow at your boss, though her gaze is drawn back to the calendar, pen gliding over the new scheduled days, “took a whole week longer than I was expecting,” she continues, “but I'll take it.”

“A whole week longer than you were expecting,” you question, “excuse me?”

Pepper doesn’t answer you as she continues to pencil in your days, your eyes flit over to Bucky hoping to find an answer but you find the same puzzled expression lacing his features. You look back at Pepper, who’s placing her pen down before she’s closing the calendar, pushing it off to the side. She leans forward on the desk pink smile pulling at her lips as she looks at the two of you.

“I said, it took a week longer than I was expecting, but I'll take it, I've heard progress is progress.”

Your brows furrow, “wait, you were expecting for us to only want to film with each other?”

Peppers grin curls, “Oh now don’t sound so surprised, this news should have come sooner, but I'm assuming Barnes here had a little trouble getting my husband's approval,” her eyes flicker to Bucky’s, “didn’t you?”

A grin is pulling at Bucky’s lip a hand rubbing over the stubble that adorns his jaw as he leans back in his seat, “he was already giving y/n so much crap I didn’t want to add to the plate by asking to only film with her,” he looks at you for a moment before going back to pepper, “as much as I may have wanted it, I knew she didn’t need what would come with it if I asked.”

You find your gaze wandering to the brunette that was seated next to you, his gaze finding your questioning one, “how long had you been wanting to ask him?” Bucky’s smile softens, “three weeks after our first film,” he answers, “and if you ask me, it’s like Carter sensed it, I never really had the chance to just sit with Tony and really talk to him about how I was feeling because he was to focused on working my schedule out to write Sharon in.”

“And with Tony so focused on numbers,” Pepper chimes in pulling your gaze, “I don’t blame Bucky for holding off on his attempts, Tony very rarely listens to reason when it comes to stark hub numbers.”

You just barely manage to hold back the eyeroll, a small smile pulling at the corner of your mouth, “your husbands always been obsessed with numbers and finding the next big thing to get our numbers up there,” your smile falters slightly, “how do you know he’s going to agree, Bucky works under him, we’re going to have to get his approval as well.”

“Oh, you’ll get my approval,” you hear from behind you, and you're turning in your seat to find the devil himself, he gives you a smile before he’s kicking off the doorway kicking the door shut with his foot. Your eyes follow his form as he pats bucky on the shoulder before he’s sidling up behind his wife hands finding her shoulders.

“You’d really give us the approval,” you question.

“Listen kid like you and my wife so kindly put it I'm obsessed with our numbers, and with good reason,” he adds pointing a finger at you. “I look at what sells, look at what brings those numbers in and up, and from what I've seen our numbers increase when it involves you and the soldier.”

“They’ve been up there since your first film released kid,” tony continues when you remain stoically quiet, “there's no other pairing that brings in the numbers that the two of you do, and that’s given that the other pairings we’ve put together still draw in good numbers.”

“So then why give me such a hard time,” you question finally finding the words.

“You were a force to be reckoned with kid,” he answers, “I already knew that you and the soldier would be IT after the first film, and I worried that if we gave viewers too much of it, they might grow tired of it, but I see now that’s not the case.”

“It isn’t?”

Tony shakes his head, “the first film you released is still trending as #1 in our hottest videos, and your most recent where you’re binding Barnes is rating at #1 in most viewed, the viewers know what they want and it’s quite obvious it’s the two of you.”

You look at Tony, “okay, what’s the catch,” you question.

Tony raises a brow, “excuse me,” he questions back, “a catch?”

“There’s a catch tony, there has to be, surely you wouldn’t just give us six days of filming back-to-back with one another.”

A smile pulls at Tony’s lips, “you’re not wrong there kid, I'll give you that but would it really be a catch if I'm offering you more days off?”

“More days off,” Bucky questions.

Tony nods, “so because you two would only be filming with each other unless requested by one of the stars I don’t want to be just throwing out films by you six days out of the week I'd be spoiling the viewers too much and we need them to want to come back for you guys.”

“So how many days off we talking stark?”

“If you were to agree, and yes you have got to agree,” Tony adds at your raised brow, “you’d only work three days a week and you’d be given an additional three days added to your weekends off.”

“Do we get to choose the days we work and the days we have off,” Bucky questions.

“Now what kind of manager would I be, if I didn’t let you choose what days you worked, and what days you had off, a bad one I'll tell you that.”

You shook you head, “so when does this all kick in to place – are we starting it this week?”

A grimace crosses Tony’s features, “well y/n I'm actually going to give you the rest of the week off.”

“What, why,” you question.

“Was going to actually speak to Barnes about this but since we’re all in the same room now – the soldier has been invited to a porn palooza.”

“A porn palooza?”

Tony’s nodding, “it's something similar to the convention Bucky and Sharon were taken to the last time, but this time the soldier was offered his very own panel, this is a big opportunity and many fans have already begun to book the panel.”

“I haven’t agreed to it though,” Bucky buts in, “are the fans even aware that I haven’t agreed to this?”

Tony’s nodding again, “got off the phone with the company that’s hosting this event before I came here, said they shouldn’t have made promises to anyone without having spoken to you personally about being in attendance.”

“What happens to the money bought for the soldiers panel if he chooses not to show,” you question.

A sigh leaves stark’s lips, “they informed that there would be no refunds handed out or -”

“He’ll be there,” you answer “what,” Bucky questions eyes finding yours, “but y/n,” you're shaking your head, “Buck you heard Tony, fans have begun to buy tickets for that panel, a panel that’s non-refundable, you – you have to go.”

“But y/n,” Bucky tries to argue, “if it helps any, the panel is a one-day thing,” Tony adds, “should you decide after your panel that you want to book a flight home, we can leave that same night.”

Bucky’s jaw ticks as he looks from you to his boss, “how long do I have to think about it?”

“Flight is scheduled to leave tonight,” Tony answers looking down at his watch, “so you have a few hours.”

Bucky’s nod is stiff, “alright, well as soon as I got my answer, I'll give you a call.”

“Bucky - Buck,” you sigh as you continue to watch the brunette pack his belongings your calling of his name falling on deaf ears, “ya know if you don’t want to go, you should just say so, what have I told you about speaking about what you want, it doesn’t matter what anyone else wants, what do you want?”

Bucky’s hand still on the fabric he’s folding, ocean greys finally meeting yours, “what do I want,” he questions, “I don’t want to let my fans down,” he answers, “I don’t want them to lose money and miss out on an opportunity because I hate the publicity that comes with these cons.” He abandons his task altogether then turning his back to you as he takes a seat on his bed.

The motion tugs at your heart, as you push yourself up, scooting across his bed till your behind him, your arms circling his waist, you chin falling to his shoulder, “I don’t think you could ever let your fans down” you murmur pressing a kiss to his shoulder. It pulls a smile, Bucky’s pink lips curling as he turns his head towards yours, his hands finding yours – squeezing. “If it weren’t for the fact that these tickets are non-refundable, I wouldn’t be packing right now.”

Your press yourself further into his back, “what if I, oh I don’t know pack my things and tag along?”

“Are you being serious,” he questions eyes meeting yours, “you’d come along just for the trip?”

You press a smile into his shoulder, “as long as Tony wouldn’t mind paying for an extra ticket for me of course I'll come with you, besides maybe I can bribe Tony to sneak me into the con, see if I can’t spot a fan or two.”

Bucky’s laughing hands squeezing your own again, “sweetheart half our subscribers have the anon picture setting I'm not sure you’d be able to spot them, though they may spot you but – you’d really pack a bag tonight and come with me?”

“You took a week off for me, I’d definitely catch a plane for you Barnes.”

It’s a tangle of awkward limbs as Bucky turns himself into you, your legs crushed under both your bodies as he pushes the two of you back onto his bed his body engulfing yours.

He presses wet kisses to your face, words of praise pressed to your skin, “Buck,” you laugh breathlessly, arms wrapping around his shoulders, “I need to go home and pack if you want us to be ready when Tony sends the car for you, and you still need to tell him I'm going!”

Bucky presses a grin to your chin hands squeezing your waist, “I think we got a few hours,” he murmurs the drop in his voice drawing a shiver down your spine.

Your fingers curl in his hair, drawing his gaze to yours, “if you start neither of us are going to leave this bed, you want Tony going back on his word?”

“When it comes to numbers Tony would never go back on his word,” he smirks as he pushes himself up bringing his face closer to yours, “so nice try but you’re not worming your way out anytime soon.”

“Not even to pack my bags,” you laugh, he dips his head down warm breath fanning against your lips, “wear something of mine, m’sure you’d make it look better than I ever could.”

You're pressing your head up, to capture his lips, he groans into your mouth almost instantly and you really shouldn’t press your luck like this, but Tony could wait, you couldn’t.

[senjuushi]

... master dragging sneks towards refrigerator room and threatening to lock them there if they mess up again. Also, them actually being locked there for an hour or two-

F

F starts out trying to “reason” with you. And by that I mean, he tries to flirt his way out of the punishment and offer his body to be used instead. When that doesn’t work, though, he gets increasingly panicked, eventually hitting a point where he’ll even weakly try to pull away from you. Being shut in somewhere like that could end in death, and it wouldn’t be a pleasant one. Slowly freezing over a little mistake, all because you think he’s bad... F is practically in tears by the time you’re at the door. Should you go through with it and shut him in there, he curls up as small as he can get by the door and quietly begs you to let him out soon. 

Fal

As someone who’s not used to making mistakes, Fal does not take this threat well. From the very beginning, he’s terrified— his mind running wild about all of the things that could happen to him now that he’s done something less than perfect. The threat of the refrigerator room makes his whole body run cold well in advance. That could kill him if you leave him in there for too long. Fal is still too proud (or is it scared?) to beg, but it’s pitifully obvious that he’s on the verge of a panic attack. If you actually shut him in there, he just huddles up in a corner and tries to stay calm, praying that you’ll get him out before he freezes. 

[foilfreak]

Nobody asked for this, but I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately so I’ve decided to post about it in the hopes that my brain will stop thinking about it if i write my thoughts out, or at the very least spit them out onto a tumblr post. So here’s a nowhere-near-comprehensive list of all the heroes who I think should be friends and why, in no particular order:

1. Iaian and Genos. I’ve talked about them before but I just think that they’d get along really well for some reason. They’re both fairly close in age and seem somewhat similar in personality and disposition so i think, given some time and heavy avoidance of the topic of whose master is superior, a good strong friendship could blossom between these two disciples, a friendship that gives them the opportunity to relax, let loose, and actually have fun in ways they wouldn’t normally because theyre usually too busy being responsible heroes and saving cities and innocent civilians from certain death and destruction. Idk I just want them to be best friends who secretly gossip and talk shit about other heroes over Mario Kart and a bottle of Absolute, is that so much to ask? Can Genos have a friend of his own for once plz?

2. Tanktop Master and Superalloy Darkshine. A friendship between these two gym rats would radiate such chaotic bro energy that i don’t think ppl would physically be able to handle the combined amount of protein powder and boiled chicken that must be seeping from these guys’ pore. That being said however, if I don’t see at least 1 chapter of them acting like total fucking morons together like ive seen in a few fics now, I will be flying to Japan to personally fistfight ONE and Murata.

3. Golden Ball and Child Emperor. This one comes with a few headcanons Ive created about Golden Ball so if u don’t see it I don’t blame u, but basically the idea is that Golden Ball is a pretty smart guy, he got like a masters degree in chemical engineering or something before becoming a hero, so Golden Ball and Child Emperor probably met at some science convention and got to know each other by talking about various scientific theories and whatever shit they happen to be working on at that time. Child Emperor will occasionally ask Golden Ball to guest lecture for one of his classes. Golden Ball’s probably asked child emperor to read over the thesis or research paper he’s working on and give suggestions. They’re fellow colleagues who share more in common than just being heroes and child emperor probably enjoys talking to an adult who actually has a brain cell or two on hand at any given moment.

4. Death Gatling and Smile Man. Gatling looks like he could use a friend looking out for him (both in hero work and just in general) and Smile Man seems like a really nice and cool guy, idk there’s just something I like about him and I think he’d be a good friend to someone like Death Gatling. I’d certainly be Smile Man’s friend, if nothing else!!!

5. Chain’n’toad and Mumen Rider. I liked seeing them work together and show concern for each other when they fought that lizard monster in the OVA, I think they’d be good friends and get along outside of work too!

6. Captain Mizuki and Fubuki. Fubuki needs a girl-friend who doesn’t work for her and Captain Mizuki seems like the kind of lady who’d have a positive impact on Fubuki if they ever did become friends.

7. Captain Mizuki and Lily. Girl alliance.

8. Captain Mizuki, Fubuki, and Lily. Ultimate Girl Alliance!

9. Captain Mizuki, Fubuki, Lily, and Okamaitachi. ULTRA MEGA SUPREME GIRL ALLIANCE!!!!!!!

10. Tatsumaki and King. Tbh I want them to fuck, but that’s a post for another day, I do however think that a friendship between the two of them would be beneficial for much the same reason as a relationship between them would work out, just minus the romantic elements. They both have a decent amount of respect for each other and I think they’d both encourage the other to improve themselves and become better people/heroes, which they actually would because you’re a hell of a lot more likely to take criticism from someone if you respect their opinion and see the validity in their criticisms/suggestions. Tatsumaki would force King to actually leave his house and go do stuff with her and King would force tatsumaki to chill the fuck out and not yeet ppl into walls... maybe.

11. Amai Mask and Zombieman. More or less the same deal as Tatsumaki and King except there’s an extra 5 months at the beginning of their “friendship” that consists almost entirely of just straight up hate fucking. They’d be friends with benefits if they stayed friends tho.

12. Atomic Samurai and Bomb. Kamikaze is friends with Bang therefor he’s friends with Bomb too, shut up

13. Spring Mustachio and Bushidrill. I want to see them get drunk together, i think that would be quite fun

14. Snek and Saitama. I want Snek to join the Saitama group and I want him to be PISSED about it.

15. Snek and Lightnight Max. On a slightly more serious note, I do think these guys would make good friends, if only because of their love for martial arts.

16. Pig God and All my love and affection. He just deserves it ok, idk what else to say.

And thats about all i can think of for right now, but ill be sure to come back with a part 2 if i can think of anything. Let me know what u think. Further suggestions are highly encouraged!

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

March Ado About Nothing

Series Summary - A series of one-shots and  drabbles written based off of prompts posted in the TSS Fanworks Collective server. The goal is to take traditional whump prompts and fill them in the least-angsty way possible every day through March.

A note that though some of these fills are written bait and switch style (written in a way you think is going in one direction but reveals it to be the opposite towards the end) they are all written in a fluffy or silly style with very little, if any at all, actual angst.

Day 1: Hold Me Close

Summary ;  Roman doesn't want to let go of Virgil. Virgil doesn't really mind.

Prompts: Branding, Car Accident, *Failed Escape*

Ships: Platonic or romantic Prinxiety (Roman & Virgil)

Warnings: none. Let me know if there are!

General taglist (ask to be added or removed): @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi  @im-an-anxious-wreck (If you are tagged please reblog)

WC: 590

Virgil awoke with a gasp, tensing as he felt the shackles around him tighten ever so slightly. He held his breath as his heart slowed down little by little while his wide eyes scanned the room for threats. Shadows clung to the corners of the room like inky webbing and he could just barely make out the early morning sun trying its best best to pierce through curtains that should have been cleaned ages ago. His back was twisted uncomfortably, full weight resting on his arm which had gone completely numb as some point during the night. Evening? He wasn’t sure when he had laid down to sleep, only that he was here now and he desperately needed to get free as quickly as possible.

Wiggling proved to be nearly impossible as he really only managed to tangle himself further, the bindings around his legs just growing frustratingly more secure the more he tried to kick. The shackles around his chest tightened even further as he grunted with exertion, finally letting out a sigh and wiggling back enough that he could reach around to try and untangle himself from the source of his distress. Too late he realized his attempt to escape had failed as he was pressed close to a warm chest and strong arms pinned him decisively in place.

“Mm, you move around too much.” Hot breath made the hairs on the back of Virgil’s neck stand on end and his face burned at the short laugh he let out as he was tickled.

“Come on, Princey. I need to pee.”

“Pee later, it’s warm.”

“And it’s about to get even warmer so scooch.”

He grinned at the mock sound of disgust before finding himself suddenly on the floor with his legs still tangled in the blankets back up on the bed.

“So not only are you a traitor, but also a thief! Give those back it’s cold!”

“It isn’t my fault you kick them to the bottom every night doing whatever it is you call sleep.” Virgil’s legs thumped to the floor to join the rest of him as Roman gasped in offense above him.

“It’s called beauty rest; not that you would know Mr. The-eyebags-are-an-aesthetic-choice!”

“Prince of Smell-Air.”

“Dead Ghoul Walking!”

“Rip-off Disney Wanna-Be!”

“You take that back!” The other shrieked as he made a bee-line for the bathroom, not quite making it inside before being pelted over the head with a pillow as he tried to push the door shut. “Is it too much to ask that morning antics are kept to a minimum until everyone’s alarm has gone off?” Logan’s chiding voice distracted Roman long enough that hh could finally get the door shut, throwing the lock and leaning against it to catch his breath. Moments later a light thump was heard, followed by a sigh and the sound of a door shutting. Smirking, Virgil pushed off the door to actually go to the bathroom, finishing quickly and cautiously making his way back out- only to be picked up even as he let out an embarrassing squeak in protest and found himself back in bed tucked under an arm in mere seconds.

“No escaping, it’s cold.”

“I did get out though.” Virgil pointed out stubbornly as he snuggled further into the now righted blankets.

“Not for long.” Roman’s chin settled on top of his head and within no time he was back to snoring, making Virgil smile fondly and turn more into the other’s chest.

“Never for long.” He agreed, closing his eyes himself.

Next

This work is also available on AO3!

If you like this, please reblog. Reblogging helps creators spread their work further!

[maxthegayplantartist]

Chapter Five

Crowley was exceedingly cold.

Aziraphale knew this because he would not hecking shut up about it. Also because when Aziraphale had held Crowley’s hand, it had been colder than an icicle, but he tried not to think about that, because every time he did, he got a warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

At the moment, the demon was not within sight.

Aziraphale got the feeling this should concern him, but wasn’t sure why, as he was fairly certain that all Crowley was doing at the moment was sitting in a large wrap of blankets that Aziraphale had affectionately called a ‘Snek Burrito’.

This had caused Crowley to make all sorts of unintelligible noises that Aziraphale could only hope didn’t mean Crowley was dying. Aziraphale didn’t think he was, as it would be hard for a ghost to moan and complain about how absolutely frozen he was.

Although, come to think of it, Aziraphale hadn’t heard Crowley in a few minutes. Perhaps he should go check, see what that demon had gotten himself into now.

Aziraphale left the kitchen, where he had been tending to some cream for hot cocoa, and went to the parlour where he had left Crowley. When he arrived, Crowley was shockingly un-dead. Rather, he appeared to be napping.

Crowley had wriggled his way from sitting upright to laying as dramatically as one was able across the length of the couch. Seeing as he was wrapped in at least four blankets, this wasn’t very dramatic at all, but Aziraphale felt it was the attempt that counted. Crowley’s signature sunglasses were placed carefully on the coffee table in front of the couch, and his hair fluttered delicately as he breathed in and out.

He looked so peaceful, Aziraphale couldn’t bear to wake him. Instead, he turned around and went back to tending the cream. Really, he shouldn’t leave it too long anyway. It could scorch.

~~~

After several minutes of Aziraphale humming quietly to himself, the cocoa was ready. He had added some whipped cream, with some cinnamon and a few mini-marshmallows sprinkled on top. It was rather decadent, but Aziraphale felt it was just what was needed after the freezing cold of the walk.

He headed back to the parlour and was glad to see Crowley squint tiredly at him.

“Cocoa’s done.” Aziraphale said with a smile.

Crowley’s face lit up at that, and Aziraphale thought he closely resembled a puppy that had just been presented with a treat. He must have been staring because the next thing he noticed was Crowley’s voice cutting through his thoughts.

“...stare, Angel. Help me up.”

Aziraphale ducked his head self consciously, and setting down the cocoa, helped Crowley get out of the mess of blankets. Once he was free, Crowley shook his head slightly.

“Now,” Crowley said, eying the cocoa on the table. “Let us see about this cocoa.”

Both Aziraphale and Crowley enjoyed every sip of the cocoa, although Crowley speculated that it could have used a tad more cinnamon. They stayed up long after the cocoa was gone, brainstorming ideas for reviving Aziraphale’s memories. Nothing quite worked, although they had a few close ideas. Eventually, it was twelve-thirty, and Aziraphale couldn’t quite convince Crowley he wasn’t tired.

“Come on angel,” Crowley said softly, “let's get you to bed.”

Aziraphale wanted to protest, but was too tired to think of anything. “But- but what about you?”

“What about me, Angel?”

“Well, where will you sleep? You need rest too, don’t you?”

Crowley smiled softly and shook his head. “You don’t need to worry about me, Angel.”

“But- but-” Aziraphale tried weakly.

“Shhh, shhh. You need sleep, Angel.” Crowley said, making more room for Aziraphale.

Aziraphale curled up on the couch, with a blanket pulled around his shoulders and his head in Crowley’s lap when he started. “But, I- my memory, we need to figure something out!”

Crowley stroked Aziraphale’s hair, soothing him. “Hush, Angel. Don’t you worry about that. I’ll figure something out. I promise.”

UFHR8UEDS

I LOVE THIS

THAT WAS SO CUTE

[mother-snake]

the scale of the situation pt-1

(um...no i did not start a new series featuring analoceit...definately not...oh but angst with fluff is certain! remember if you like the series i can tagg you in for each part or for all my stories if you pop your name down below!)

next part: the scale of the situation pt 2 tags: @idkanameatall words: 1161 warnings: angst and a very sad snek, pof mentions

- janus dosent take things too well after pof, thankfuly virgil and logan are there... maybe things wont be so bad after all...-

The first thing Janus did upon returning to his room was shift into his snake form and hide under his bed. there was no noise except for the occasional knock on is door from Patton. But he didn’t respond. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Not after what had just happened. He was sure if he was in his human form, he would be bawling his eyes out and crying. But that would have alerted the others. so instead he chose to curl up in a dark place and hope that the feelings would just leave.

Then there was another knock at the door. It only made him curl up tighter into a ball. “Janus, can I come in?” Virgil asked calmly from outside the door.

He was hesitant. He should have guessed that Virgil would sense the anxiety and fear running through him. But alas… he couldn’t contain it much more than this. “Janus. Please?” Virgil asked again.

The snake let out the best sigh it could before the doors lock clicked, letting the anxious side know it was okay for him to come in.

He watched from under his bed as the door opened and a pair of black combats with silver studs and purple laces entered his room before closing it behind. he watched as Virgil looked around the room before getting to his kneed as kneeling on the floor, looking under the bed. Janus blinked as he locked eyes with Virgil who held a small smile on his face. “come on, I know a warmer place for you to lie,” he said as he reached out an arm towards Janus.

Said snake backed away at the sudden movement. He wasn’t even sure as to why Virgil was being so kind despite all that had happened. Had he been told about what had gone down yet? was he doing this to trap the snake?

He didn’t know. But the promise of warmth that his hiding place couldn’t provide was tempting. “hey, you don’t have to Jan. ill just stay for a while to keep you company, okay?” Virgil said as he withdrew his arm and laid down on the floor facing Janus.

The two sat like that for around an hour. Virgil talked occasionally to begin with before putting Janus’s record-player on to fill the air. it wasn’t a suffocating silence. At least not to Janus. Virgil would do this previously when he was a dark side, when Janus had bad days or moments like these to help him calm down. Someone who could always get him out of his head.

The sound of footsteps had Janus shoot his head up to peer past Virgil. a pair of black slacks was all he could see, save for black jeans. “Virgil, what are you doing on Janus’s floor?” he heard Logan ask. “keeping the snake company. I'm not sure what happened, but- wait how do you know his name?” Virgil asked, as he looked up from his place on the floor.

“roman didn’t know if he could be trusted, in a last feat attempt. He gave his name,” Logan said cautiously, “that didn’t work… roman only made fun of his name causing Janus to retaliate.”

Silence filled the air as Janus backed himself into the corner as far as he could go, he shut his eyes and begged for his mind to shut up as thoughts and feelings became too much for him.

He felt something warm place itself on his scales. He melted into the touch as he tried to block out the thoughts. --

he wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep. But the first thing he realised was that he was warm, something soft was draped over him with a familiar smell… two familiar smells.

He snapped his eyes open for a split second before he realised, he was still in his snake form. but he wasn’t under his bed. He looked around his room but found no one in sight.

He shuffled himself out of whatever was covering the rest of his body. The warmth left him as quickly as he left. he looked over to where he had been sleeping and felt his eyes soften as he saw Virgil's hoodie and what he guessed was one of Logans sweaters.

He felt himself shift. Becoming his human self. he ruffled his hair before picking both of the items of clothing up and holding them close. He knew he would need to return them soon. But for now, he would keep a hold of them.

He let out a shaky breath as he turned to face the closed door. A small part of him was a little sad that they weren’t here. But he guessed they got bored waiting for him to wake up. “are you sure?” “positive Logan, just give him some- “Virgil said as he opened the door, “time,” he smiled.

“good morning Janus,” Logan said as he entered the room holding two plates filled with pancakes. “hello Logan…I'm sorry about yesterday I don’t normally let people see me like that,” he chuckled as he looked down to the jumper in his hands. “it’s quite alright Janus, after what happened, I think you had every right to feel distressed,” he sighed. “oh, how’s your neck?” Janus asked as he remembered. “perfectly fine, I assure you,” Logan said, the corner of his lips twitching into a small smile.

“anyways, we brought you breakfast. I didn’t know if you’d be awake so I thought it would be best to leave you something,” Virgil mumbled as he plucked a plate from logans hands and handed it over to Janus. “we can stay and keep you company if you’d like?” Virgil asked.

“id…” he said, his mind slowly picking itself back up from last night’s thoughts, “I'm not sure,” he said. “that’s okay, we can stay until you’d like us to leave if you’d prefer,” Logan said. “I’d like that,” Janus smiled weakly.

And that’s how the three of them spent the morning. They talked about things they had done the past couple years, Virgil catching Janus up on things that had gone down. Janus smiled as he told Logan and Virgil all that had happened after the anxious side’s departure.

Logan listened with interest; he had never seen the two sides get along like this. A smile felt itself creep on his face as Janus asked him to tell them about some things that had happened after the dark side’s door had appeared.

And much to his own surprise he found himself recounting stories to them like they happened only yesterday.

Between the three of them, it felt like yesterday hadn’t happened. All thoughts about it had gone from mind and replaced with nostalgia and laughter as Logan told them about how he had managed to once fill roman and Patton's room with packing peanuts one April morning.

And for now. Everything was okay.

[3amsnek]

Welcome to its half past four in the morning and for various reasons I’ve just decided to draw a seawing based on a lionfish without looking at a single image it’s certainly something take it

[98prilla]

Hidden Shapes

Based on This Post by @fangirltothefullest (who is awesome and amazing, go follow). This was supposed to be a simple one shot, but as always, it’s really gotten away from me, so expect three to four chapters, instead. 

...

AO3

Next

The dark sides all have animal traits. But they also have hybrid forms. Something Patton, Logan, and Roman don't realize until Janus isn't able to help it. 

....

He doesn’t feel quite right.

 He brushes it off, at first, ignoring the slight chill that comes over him, every once in a while, the mild achiness to his bones, he ignores them all.

 Then Patton comments on how his scales look pretty on his arms, when he’s doing the dishes, sleeves rolled up, and he nearly drops the plate he’s washing, before he regains his composure, letting Patton think the slip was from the unexpected compliment, as he excuses himself.

 He notices his fangs are longer, sharper, the next day, and his chills are stronger as well, he spends nearly the whole of it working at his desk, wrapped in a blanket, trying to ignore the pain taking up residence behind his temples, pounding dully against his skull, as he examines and rearranges the schedule to make sure everyone has at least a day of self care planned for the week, before sending it back to Logan for assessment. He won’t admit it out loud, but he rather enjoys the back and forth, the bargaining, the trade offs, it’s a bit of a game of wits, finding how it all can fit. But today it just makes him exhausted.

 He makes an excuse, not to come out for supper that night, saying he’s tired and plans to turn in early, which is true, he just leaves out the reason, which would lead to Patton trying to take care of him, and the last thing he wants is to force pity from Patton, so he keeps his mouth shut.

…

He’s shaking. The world is swirling and writhing around him, shadows stretching and shifting around him, forming almost figures, eyes glaring at him accusingly, whispers menacing his ears, telling him how poorly of a job he’s really doing, and he grits his teeth and bears it, even as he feels himself shifting into something different, scales blooming across the entirety of his face, his arms, coiling in on himself, as his tail forms, a ball python’s markings, in deep blacks and hazardous yellows, marking him as the venomous creature he is.

 He doesn’t want to be this monster, but he can’t stop it, can’t stop the change, so he just hisses, cursing the world, burying himself in his tail so he doesn’t have to see anything, feel anything, outside his little bubble, though he can’t seem to stop shaking, no matter how tightly he curls.

…

He sees clawed hands tearing at him, shredding him to ribbons. Dark figures laughing as they rip him limb from limb. Violet eyes and neon green grinning, as they set him aflame, burning him to ash, and somehow, he can feel every second of it, taste the smoke on his tongue, convulsing and writhing as he tries to escape the smoke, but there’s nowhere, nowhere to go. Webs, pinning him down, eight eyes, eyes he knows so well, staring into his as the pincers bite into his neck, tentacles wrapping tight around his throat, lifting him off the ground, constricting him until he can’t breathe, until his own weight suffocates him-

 Then suddenly it’s bright, far too bright, and he can’t see clearly, and he hears gasps, voices around him, hissing and flinching back at a touch to his forehead, slitted eyes flashing as his tail lashes, coiling.

 “Leave me alone!” He growls, baring his fangs, his claws, ready to spring, even as the world spins and colors blend, everything shifting as if he’s looking through a fun house mirror.

 “You’re burning up…”

 “Calm down, Janus, let us help!” He hisses, drawing back further, heart pounding with fear, pulse racing with adrenaline, but everything is too much, too loud, too bright, and he can’t focus, can’t figure out where he is or what’s going on or who is speaking, past the pounding in his ears.

 Then a hand comes into view, trying to reach him, and he snarls, letting the coils do their job, propelling himself forwards, pouncing, but the sudden movement sends a wash of lightheadedness through him, and the world goes dark.

 “Janus! Janus, are you ok?!” He groans, barely managing to register the voice, barely managing to flick open his eyes for long enough to see a flash of deep blue, to realize someone has caught him, stopped him from falling.

 “lo…gan?” He manages weakly, feeling the logical side let out a relieved breath, though he’s no less worried.

 “Yes. You’ve got a severe fever, Janus, how long have you been sick?” His mind seems to be working at half speed, his tongue feels heavy and thick, and he barely manages a shrug.

 “w-week?” He offers, already slipping away.

 “Oh honey. We’re gonna take care of you, alright? You just get some rest, and when you wake up it’ll all be better.” He doesn’t trust that voice, not completely, but he knows in this case, it’s telling the truth, so he nods, shivering at the cold air on his scales, wishing for his heating pad, before he blacks out once more.

…

Logan lets out a low breath as Janus collapses in his arms, cheeks flushed, even through the scales now peppering both sides of his face, his pulse coming in odd unsteady beats, his breathing shallow and uneven. He’s ill, extremely ill, and he doesn’t know how none of them had noticed.

 Then again, even after becoming accepted, Janus has always been the most aloof of all of them. Even now, they don’t really know much about him, he holds everything close to his chest. Which is maybe why Virgil and Remus are the only two who don’t look entirely surprised at the state of him.

 That state being a half human, half snake, commonly known as a Naga, in folklore.

 “We need to break the fever. Help me lift him, onto the couch?” Logan states, more than asks, and instantly, the twins are there, each taking half of his tail while Logan takes his torso, sliding him onto the couch, before wrapping him with blankets, trying to quell his incessant shivering, coiling tight, teeth chattering.

 “Now what?” Roman asks, uncharacteristically quiet.

 “Heated blankets, he has some, yes?” Remus nods.

 “I’ll go get them.”

 “Virgil.” He startles at Logan addressing him, his eyes had been locked on Janus’s form, huddled and so small, despite his large coils. He hadn’t realized his breath was starting speed, his heart starting pound. “Virgil, I need you to answer some questions for me. It could help in my treatment of him.” He nods, though his throat feels dry.

 “He has shifted like this before?” He nods again, forcing himself to take a deep inhale and exhale.

 “yeah. He doesn’t… he usually doesn’t. Doesn’t like to. But when he gets sick or hurt, he loses control, sometimes. Goes… goes into attack mode.” Logan nods.

 “It makes sense, that as self preservation, he would have this kind of protective mechanism. Given his scales, I’m not surprised that he would take Naga form. And Remus has his tentacles, his half animal form being an octopus-“

 “Kraken, dear Logic!” Remus trills, returning and tucking the heated blankets around Janus, making sure they aren’t set too high. They want a toasty snek, after all, not a toasted one. A minor distinction, but an important one, in this case.

 “And Virgie here is-“ Instantly, the room grows ten degrees colder, the shadows lengthening, as it grows darker, all eyes turning back to Virgil, who is shaking his head, maybe just shaking in general.

 “don’t. Remus, please… don’t.” Remus pouts, but instantly nods, coming over and rubbing his arms to dispel the chill, smiling as Virgil’s head thumps against his chest.

 “Sorry, Vee. I forget what I’m not supposed to say and what I am. I didn’t mean to spill the beans.” He feels Virgil nod, knows he understands, he’s just scared and stressed right now, and so is he, it’s why his tongue nearly slipped. He has a bit more control than the others tend to think, at least when it comes to important things, secret things, like this.

 “Virgil? You�� you have animal traits too? That’s really cool, kiddo, why didn’t you tell us?” He winces at Patton’s question.

 “you wouldn’t like them. Trust me, Pat, it’s better I just keep them tucked away, where they won’t cause any problems.” He mutters, a bit of fear curdling in his chest, at what he is, fear blooming at what they would do, if they knew.

 If they knew his eyeshadow was to hide the three smaller eyes dotted underneath his normal ones, if they knew about his eight, spindly spiked legs, that could extend from his back, much like Remus’s tentacles, making him much faster and stronger than any of the rest of them, if they knew how quickly he could move, slinging web, how reflexive an action it once was, when he and Remus were young and would tussle, if they knew about his own deadly, venomous fangs, if they knew how when he was stressed, he still vanished into Remus’s imagination, to weave intricate webs, to put his hands to work so his mind would be silent.

 “Virgil. I love you kiddo, no matter what, okay? Just remember that, if you ever do want to share. Whatever it is, it won’t change that.” He looks away, nodding once, though if Janus were in working order he’d call bullshit from a mile away, there were some things that they could grow to accept about him, yes, but his half spider form? Definitely not one of them, when even curtains with cartoony spiders warranted being called “creepy crawly death dealers” and getting attacked by Roman’s sword.

 “So… now what do we do?” Roman asks breaking the silence.

 “wait. He’ll shift back, once he’s feeling better, in control, again. Until then, we should all give him plenty of space, you three especially.” Virgil answers.

 “Why is that?” Logan asks, and Remus grins.

 “Janny’s got quite a nasty bite. Those fangs aren’t just for show!”

 “He might lash out, is what he’s saying. And it’s better if no one is in reach when he does. Me and Re have a certain amount of immunity, to the venom, thanks to our… traits, but it would be really, really bad, for any of you. Plus, he isn’t used to you all being around yet, he’s less likely to lash out if it’s me or Remus, nearby.” Virgil explains, “you, um, you’ll trigger his fight reflex.” He doesn’t have to look up, to see the slightly hurt expression on Patton’s face.

 “He doesn’t trust us yet.” Logan says softly, and Remus nods, though his face is tight, with a frown.

 “That’s… understandable. We haven’t been the best of companions.” Roman murmurs, surprising both Remus and Virgil.

 “He trusts you.” Remus states, looking firmly at Logan, who’s eyes widen in surprise, hand flying to adjust his glasses. “He doesn’t trust you.” Remus states, looking at Roman, who nods minutely, a brief look of regret flashing across his face. “And none of us trust you.” He turns his sharp gaze on Patton, who winces.

 “Remus!” Virgil hisses, grabbing his arm.

 “What? It’s true, otherwise you would have told them what you are, by now! Tell me, the reason you haven’t, isn’t exclusively to do with Patton.” He flinches, drawing back, eyes glued to the floor so he doesn’t have to see the hurt on Patton’s face, though he hears the sharp inhale of breath. “Tell me you aren’t afraid, of what he will do.” He gasps, the air flooding out of him, feeling as if he’s been punched in the gut, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. He opens his mouth, ready to deny it.

 “I can’t.” he whispers instead, blanching at his own words, drawing further back, into himself. “I… I can’t.”

 “that’s ok, kiddo.” Patton’s voice is soft, trembling, and he looks up in surprise, at the words, Patton taking a step closer, though still giving him his space. “It’s ok. I’ve hurt you, a lot, in the past, unintentionally, but I still hurt you. It’s ok, that you don’t feel comfortable telling me everything, telling me anything. I don’t expect you to. I don’t need you to. I’m happy to just be here, that you’ve let me have this much with you, and it’s ok, that you don’t entirely trust me. It’s ok, Virg.” His lip trembles, then he’s in Patton’s arms, head tucked against his shoulder. “we’re ok, kiddo.” Patton hugs him tightly, rubbing circles against his back, pretending not to notice the sniffling.

 “thank you.” Virgil whispers, pulling away, Patton reluctantly letting him go.

 “Of course, Virgil. I’ll go get started on some soup and grilled cheese. Everyone needs to eat something, and hopefully we’ll be able to get some soup in him, too. Thank you, Remus. For being honest with me. It… it hurts, but I need to hear it, sometimes. It keeps me moving forwards. Keeps me getting… better.” Patton flashes him a small, tired smile, before ducking away, into the kitchen.

 “I’ll go help. He gets shaky, when he’s worried, and he’ll nick himself cutting the vegtables, otherwise.” Roman mumbles, looking back at Remus, hesitating as if he wants to say something, before shaking his head and turning away, a rueful smile on his lips, a promise in his eyes, that they’ll talk later, when he knows what he wants to say.

 “He… trusts me?” Remus rolls his eyes, sitting on the arm of the couch.

 “Um, duh? You’re the only one who accepted all of us, right of the bat. Sure, you aren’t buddy buddy with us, but you also didn’t just dismiss us. You also listened to us, took us seriously, debated, not disagreeing just because of who we are. You treat us like… equals. That’s a rare thing, around here, Logan.”

 “…oh. I… I see. Well. I will be keeping an eye on his temperature, checking in every few hours. If anything changes, fetch me immediately. I’ll get some cool water and towels, for his forehead. See if you can’t coax him into drinking something, as well, he’s likely severely dehydrated. I would suggest an IV, but I doubt his reaction to that would be ideal.”

 “Ok. Sounds good, Lo. Thanks.” Logan nods once, before leaving, dropping off a bowl and towels, before vanishing once more. Virgil slumps to the ground, back resting against the couch cushions, hands buried in his face as he lets out a long, shaking breath, trying to stave off the panic creeping up his shoulders.

 Remus frowns, brushing back Janus’s hair, dabbing the rag across his forehead, willing with all his might for the fever to go down, for his eyes to open, for him to smirk and say something bitingly sharp.

 “Come on, DeeDee. Playing coy doesn’t suit you.” He whispers, eyes flicking to Virgil at the small snort from the emo, who shoves his hands up through his hair, leaving it messy and disheveled, his eyeshadow smeared across his face. If he looks hard enough, he can spot his dark little eyes, shiny, pure pitch little things, like reflective black buttons. “you know I’ve always found your little quirks cute, right?” He asks, not mentioning specifics just in case someone came by. Virgil lets out another short laugh, though the small smile stays on his face, as he shakes his head.

 “I think you’re the only one who would describe them that way, Ree, but yeah. I know.” He mumbles, not protesting as Remus slips off the couch and onto the floor beside him, slowly and gently resting an arm around his shoulders. He scoots closer, tucking himself against Remus’s side, letting himself burrow into the warmth, safe and protected. “I’m scared.” Comes the low whisper, and Remus coos, turning to wrap his other arm around him in a warm hug.

 “I know, shadow. I know.”

[tuffin-tuffmuffin]

Having a blast with XCOM Chimera Squad. flash fic to get me back into the XCOM writing groove, especially with this new world to play with.

------

Chimera Squad: Hell on Earth

words: 1082

------

  The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  But how could Whisper have known the first step would be a well-intentioned joke?

  The day Whisper would later realize he had doomed himself, the Mission Control Officer went to bed with a smile on his face. The moment occurred just a few hours before, as Chimera Squad relocated yet again to what would hopefully be their permanent HQ. 

  Whisper was loading in a smaller, fragile case, when Cherub stepped up to the ramp, holding a box so wide it could barely squeeze through the semi truck’s doors. For a moment or two, he was trapped before Cherub realized standing sideways was an option, yet the hybrid apologized like has confessing to murder.

  Whisper simply laughed it off, joking, “It’s alright, Cherub. Just feeling a bit boxed in. Heh.”

  “But you are free to go? And why are you laughing?”

  “It’s... it’s a pun, Cherub. A play on words.”

  “What is a ‘pun?’”

  So, Whisper took five, sat Cherub down, and went over the concept of homonyms, expectations and subversions, and everything that would thoroughly explain the inherent humor of a good pun. To his then-joy, Cherub proved an eager convert, smiling and laughing and attempting his own in just a few minutes. 

  “I see what you mean, with my Hybrid-eyes? Ah? Get it? Huh?” 

  He looked so damn ecstatic, Whisper laughed along, vowing to teach the young soldier the nuances of timing and context later.

  And so, Whisper’s embarked on his unintentional descent into hell. It started slowly, a pun here, another pun there. Cherub would pretend not to hear him approaching, so he could pretend to be surprised and say “he moves like a Whisper!” He would make an ‘X’ from masking tape and leave his radio on top of it, telling the beleaguered support staff that “It’s X-Comm!” When Cherub chided an unimpressed Director Kelly for shamelessly “mugging” him when she offered a coffee, Whisper started to realize something might be wrong, yet failed to act.

  When she arrived though, Whisper’s descent became a free-fall.

  He never quite knew why Torque hated him so much. He knew Viper actually held most people in contempt, but it wasn’t personal and she usually pretended to tolerate them. Not him, though, and he could only guess why. Sure, he was the Training Center’s comms operator where Torque helped train XCOM rookies, but even then, Director Kelly was her direct superior and they got along fine. Whisper thought he explained gently and sufficiently why Torque needed her cranial control chip removed, how it was deadweight and the process had been refined months ago and wouldn’t change her personality, yet she always insisted this messenger was personally ‘lobotomizing her’ and demanded payback. In his mind, Whisper decided that Torque needed someone to pin her frustrations on for picking the losing side, and unfortunately she chose him.

  And Director Kelly personally chose both of them, stuck them in a cramped warehouse, and demanded they either like it or shut up.

  Between Whisper and Torque, it was Cherub who suffered the Viper’s attitude the most. He never, ever stopped trying to be everyone’s friend, but Torque was the only agent who actively resisted him. No matter the respect he showed, the gifts he offered on his limited salary, the legitimately funny puns he tried on her, she always put a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes.

  Yet, the dismissiveness only made the plucky hybrid try even harder. More free meals. More jokes. 

  God, so many puns.

  But he couldn’t break the little Cherub’s heart. 

  So Whisper grit his teeth, grinned and bore it. Unfortunately, Torque noticed.

  He realized the nightmare only months after they settled in, on Earth Day. What was once a minor holiday about ecological preservation, post-Liberation society retooled it into a celebration of everything Earth, second only in observance to Liberation Day. A bit of every holiday into one, and aliens were explicitly invited to better integrate themselves, and Torque explicitly uninvited herself from previous years’ parties.

  Yet, here the Viper was, at the Headquarters’ modest celebration, approaching Whisper with a wrapped gift in her four-fingered hands. 

  Whisper didn’t like the way she smiled. He was lucky enough to see a genuine Viper smile from the first Viper to join XCOM, back before the war even ended. He never forgot that sight, and Torque’s smile looked nothing like it, barely concealing the sassy venom just behind her lips.

  “Torque...” He greeted, putting aside his reservations for a moment. “Didn’t expect to see you here. And with a gift, too. If I recall correctly, you didn’t get me anything last year. Or... the last two years before that.”

  “I know, right?” Torque responded cheerfully. “Hope you’re ready for round four!”

  Whisper sighed. Bearing a gift to a party and simply refusing to give it to anyone would be a perfectly Torque maneuver, in his mind. Unfortunately, he underestimated her.

  “This isn’t for you, ya dingus!” She giggled. “Hey, Cherub!”

“Yes, Torque?”

  The Viper waved him over, much to Whisper’s confusion, and she bobbed with such excitement that Cherub failed to notice was as fake as the Elders’ divinity. Torque bluntly asked, “Cherub, remember when I said I hated your puns and that you should shut up forever?”

  He tapped his chin in thought. “Yeah, you did tell me that. Many, many times, too.”

  “Changed my mind. I love them now. So much...”

  Torque turned, locking her eyes with Whispers with an intense, seething disdain. A sense of dread fell over him, as she continued to address Cherub, “... so much that I found this, especially for you!”

  “Really? That’s so nice! What is it?”

  She never took her eyes off Whisper as Cherub took the package, tore through the wrapping paper, and gasped in excitement. “The Ultimate Dad’s Pun Book: Over 10,000 Laugh Out Loud Jokes, 2014 Edition! Torque, this is amazing! Thank you!”

  Whisper whispered, “Oh no.”  

  Cherub shot forward to hug her, and unlike every other attempt before, the Viper simply accepted it with a grin. She ignored the cheerful Cherub, A perverse joy lurked behind her eyes as she watched the happiness drain from Whisper’s face, misery quick to fill the void. That grin of hers, that devilish grin, covered the entirety of her face. 

  The Viper didn’t utter a sound, but her eyes said See you in Hell, you bastard. 

  And she did, because Hell just came to Earth.

------

Gosh, having so much fun. Cherub is so precious, and Torque is just so damn sassy, I love them.

I also wanted to reassure everyone I’ve still got XCOM, gonna give it to ya when it’s ready. There’s a lot of new lore and canon to take in, so I need to digest it a bit more as I plan my previous work’s continuation. by the power of snek, I will continue.

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

The BNHA Group Chat Fic Nobody Asked For

Pairings: Todoroki Touya (Dabi)/Mr/ Compress (Sako Atsuhiro), Shimura Tenko (Shigaraki Tomura)/Chisaki Kai (Overhaul)/Kurono Hari (Chrono), Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic)/Aizawa Shouta (Eraserhead)/Shirakumo Oboro (Loud Cloud), Fukukado Emi (Ms. Joke)/Kayama Nemuri (Midnight)

Word Count: 1,088 Words

Summary: Todo-siblings, teacher shenanigans, the 1-A twins accidentally freeze out the fifth floor, and Kirishima is best boy.

Warnings: Cursing, Sleep Deprivation, Insomnia, Abuse Mention, Mensuration/Period Mentions, Caps, Food Mention, Half Blind Character, Deaf Characters, Anxiety Mention, Mostly Mute Character (due to a different medical issue), Selectively Mute Character, let me know if I should add anything else.

Note: Natsuo and Fuyumi's chat names are based on quirk headcanons I have for them. Natsuo's is because I headcanon him to have a quirk where he can manipulate and generate water like Shoto can with his ice and Fuyumi's because I headcanon her to have a thermal manipulation quirk. Touya's is 'wine' because white and red wine and his hair is red and white.

Usernames: We Are Number One™ Aizawa: Dadzawa, Aoyama: immafiringmahlaser, Ashido: princessbubblegumknockoff, Asui: Galvan, Iida: Emergency Exit, Uraraka: 9.8, Ojiro: tailfloof, Kaminari: Pichu, Kirishima: baby shark, Koda: youredoingamazingsweetie, Sato: GuyFieriIsGod, Shoji: Cthulhu, Jirou: Jack Skellington, Sero: Spider-Man, Tokoyami: EdgarAllanCrows, Todoroki: WHERE?, Hagakure: cena, Bakugo: WHAT?, Midoriya: SmolMight, Mineta: Mineta, Shinsou: exhausted, Yaoyorozu: TheGreatCreator, Kurono: stopwatch, Chisaki: donthugmeimscared, Yukimura: choticgaydisaster, Bubaigawara: shadowclonejutsu, Shimura: idontfeelsogood, Awase: illrememberyouallintherapy, Kaibara: IDOWHATIWANT, Kamakiri: scyther, Kuroiro: itsmeyaboy, Kendo: Akimichi, Kodai: deadinside, Komori: shroomgurl, Shiozaki: wElCoMeToBiBlEsTuDiEs, Shishida: furry, Shoda: cryptid, Tsunotori: mylittlepony, Tsubaraba: airbender, Tetsutetsu: Iron Man, Tokage: t-rex costume, Fukidashi: glorifiedtextbubble, Honenuki: Eren Jaeger/spookyscaryskeletons, Bondo: Slimer, Monoma: HopeSummers, Yanagi: iLiEdImDyInGiNsIdE, Rin: snek, Toga: mystique, Sako: lostmymarbles, Hikiishi: queenofmagnetism, Iguchi: eye gucci, Shinokanri: stardust

Usernames: Emos Anonymous Kaminari: blackcloakedbrides, Shoji: fryingpan, Jirou: greentwentyfourhours, Tokoyami: myscientificinfatuation, Todoroki: twentyoneplotpoints, Bakugo: immobileinwhite, Midoriya: falldownboy, Shinsou: stabtheveil, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Chisaki: plummetingininverse, Yukimura: anxietyintheclub, Shimura: nappingwithsirens, Kuroiro: thousandfootcane, Kodai: marianaspit, Monoma: entiretimelow, Yanagi: recentyearsday, Sako: halfminutetomars, Aizawa: hollywoodlivingdead, Shouji: fryingpan, Kurono: inhalecarolina, Aoyama: phantomtown, Honenuki: visualizedragon, Sako: halfminutetomars, Awase: distressparade, Shinokanri: simplestrategy

Usernames: UA Teachers Are Tired™ Eraserhead/Aizawa: grumpy scarf cat, Present Mic/Yamada: screeching cockatiel, Midnight/Nemuri: chaotic goth gay Ingenium/Iida: gotta go fast, AllMight/Toshinori: actual sunshine, Vlad King/Kan: bloody hell, Power Loader/Majima: speechtotext, Ectoplasm: needalegup?, Snipe: kazoo cowboy, Cementoss: concrete block, Blackmist/Kurogiri: goth portals

We Love A Good, Caring Dadzawa In This House-Chapter 3

11:38 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

chaotic goth gay: so anygay we ever gonna talk bout the fact that the twins in 1a plan to take a week home?

kazoo cowboy: no??? it's their personal life????

needalegup?: I say we leave the boys alone.

screeching cockatiel: they don't like being referred to at 'the twins' Nemuri. They're separate beings.

chaotic goth gay: okay, the two canadian flags of Shouta's 25 nearly adopted children.

grumpy scarf cat: you're right but why say it?

bloody hell: I thought his class was 26 students now like mine? who tf you forgetting Nemuri?

chaotic goth gay: no one I be leaving out that little grapist tho. hate him and so does Shouta

screeching cockatiel: OwO oh worm?

grumpy scarf cat: never again Hizashi. never again.

screeching cockatiel: OvO

grumpy scarf cat: i hate you.

screeching cockatiel: love you too babe uwu

grumpy scarf cat: well,

grumpy scarf cat: i'm gonna go yeet myself off the roof for that one.

screeching cockatiel: Nuuuuuuu, how will me Hitoshi and Ayane ever survive without you!?

grumpy scarf cat: tru tru

grumpy scarf cat: I'll take Hitoshi with me.

screeching cockatiel: you wouldn't dare!

grumpy scarf cat: again tru tru

2:24 AM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

grumpy scarf cat: yeet yeet bitch he finally asleep [pic of Hitoshi asleep against Aizawa's side with Ayane asleep between them]

chaotic goth gay: that's perfect.

chaotic goth gay has changed their name to yeet yeet bitch

yeet yeet bitch: thank boi me sleep now

yeet yeet bitch is offline

4:14 AM

We Are Number One™

WHERE?: so anyway I'm ready to yeet our dad into the sun but that's too good for him

chaoticdisastergay: oh worm???? same hat??? could stand to snow his eyes out first tho

immafirinmahlaser: why y'all puttin ur father on blast in the main chat?

WHERE?: wait, where? oh fuck wrong one Touya, wrong one! mayday mayday

SmolMight: I was summoned my the word mayday what happened

SmolMight: oh

SmolMight: well then

lostmymarbles: Dear? Please lay down? I was comfortable?

chaoticdisastergay: well, speaking of tmi, I thought it was just a bathroom run but turns out my monthly came a week early, Atsu. I'm coming back.

WHERE?: that was a long time in the bathroom but okay.

lostmymarbles: Yeah, almost an hour. I'm lonely, the bed feels cold without you, snowdrop!

chaoticdisastergay: I had to shower over in the 1a dorms too, calm down.

lostmymarbles: Kay, come back to bed, I wanna cuddle.

SmolMight: Such precious. Most pure. We have been blessed with witnessing this couple be cute.

WHERE?: so anNYway, Touya, you goin back to the family chat?

chaoticgaydisaster: yee

4:30 AM

Trauma? Yeet. Memes? Yoink.

vulpix: anygay. still wanna yeet our dad into the sun but it'd still be too good for him.

lapis: I??? feel that????? wtf???????

thermostat: oh? a mood? in this good household?

wine: i really just want to go back to sleep but the brain machine broke i'm woke

vulpix: oh worm?

thermostat: anyway gotta actually get outta bed soon, drop off your girls at daycare, get mine to school, and go to work.

lapis: fine, gonna go with ya

thermostat: mhmmmm sure you are, you're gonna fall asleep in 20 minutes Natsuo.

lapis: that may be but i'll at least try

thermostat: doubt

thermostat is offline

8:24 AM

We Are Number One™

cena: so anyway tea apparently shoto and touya are going home all next week

princessbubblegumknockoff: oh? drama?

WHERE?: family visit no drama

chaoticgaydisaster: just visiting our family

SmolMight: so anygay Aizawa told us we have someone special visiting a1 today for class!

Spider-Man: I wonder who it is!

Dadzawa: toshi cmon I gotta get to class and drop you off like a gay goth god of insomniac children

exhausted: hol up im eating still

exhausted is offline

Dadzawa is offline

cena: well, no answers from them i guess

Emergency Exit: Everyone, please get off your phones in class!

9:37 AM

We Are Number One™

itsmeyaboy: so who was it that came to your class?

TheGreatCreator: The Big Three of UA

itsmeyaboy: huh. we had Hawks, Ryukyu, and Mirko

Iron Man: The Three Greats of UA

HopeSummers: We win.

SmolMight: Meh, we both got good people to teach us.

HopeSummers: Valid, carry on.

2:28 PM

UA Teachers Are Tired™

gotta go fast: so anyway, am i ever gonna get told why there's someone named speechtotext in this chatroom and who all they are?

kazoo cowboy: That's Majima with the support course.

needalegup?: he couldn't figure out how to work his phone with his fingers when we first made this chat and he used speech to text a lot.

goth portals: we used to get a lot of text messages where Hatsume had spoken over him and it became too much of a meme so Nemuri changed his name to speechtotext.

gotta go fast: understandable, have a nice day.

7:24 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: um guys all of floor five is frozen what happened?

Galvan: the girls' side isn't but it's getting cold over here

GuyFieriIsGod: My door is frozen shut.

Spider-Man: Todoroki or Yukimura must have had a nightmare again

TheGreatCreator: Does this happen often?

Spider-Man: more than you'd believe.

GuyFieriIsGod: Does anyone have an ice pick?

Galvan: i'm going downstairs before it spreads

TheGreatCreator: That's a good idea, Tsu, we don't want you getting too cold and hibernating.

WHAT?: wow

Spider-Man: wow? just wow? dude, help us!

WHAT?: ...

WHAT?: perish.

baby shark: I'm coming!

7:45 AM

We Are Number One™

Spider-Man: KIRISHIMA IS A GODSEND

GuyFieriIsGod: He got us out.

TheGreatCreator: It was easier because Todoroki likely melted it.

GuyFieriIsGod: Anyway, now that we're free, I'm making breakfast if anyone wants any. 1b and Shinsou included

WHAT?: wow

cena: Is Bakugo okay?

SmolMight: Yeah, that's just his morning brain. That happens if he gets less than an hour of sleep. He kinda short circuits for about an hour.

Pichu: excellent. thank you for this knowledge.

princessbubblegumknockoff: sometimes I question if your have a death wish.

Pichu: a death wish to get him to hug me and tell me i'm cute dammit!

Pichu is offline

baby shark: a very pure death wish. we don't deserve you denki!

WHERE?: It's been made apparent to me that I froze the fifth floor and I'm sorry.

chaoticgaydisaster: and I made enough snow it was practically snowmen

princessbubblegumknockoff: THEY RISE!

WHERE?: too early for this i need a pot of coffee

chaoticgaydisaster: mood but also gimme half dammit

Taglist: @logan-sanders-enthusiast @luckyicekitsune @whippedbel @lgbtforeverything @pinecone-chomper @mikmacmoo @wasinotwantedatthisexactsecond @purplespiderstormcloud @stankyratman @king-of-the-oranges @headcannons-and-random-things @fear-ze-queer @turtleluv799 @ymmm-someone

[snakeboistan]

Days Like This No One Should Be Alone

AKA: Maeiso adopt local blueberry snek 

TW: Mentions of Abuse and forced cross-dressing

Whatever Maehara was expecting to happen today, this definitely wasn’t on the list. Not even in the top 20. It’s surprising how a perfectly normal day could be flipped upside down faster than Koro-Sensei could fly from one continent to another - and it all started so normally as well.

He was walking towards the cafe that his boyfriend worked at, which was his third favourite place to be (the first being in Isogai’s arms, of course), umbrella in hand to protect him from the onslaught of raindrops that were pelting down from above. His casual stroll through the nearly empty streets of Tokyo was quickly halted when a flash of blue caught his eye, bumping straight into him and sending him sprawling backwards onto the rain-immersed pavement. Maehara closed his eyes and hissed in pain at the tingling sensation of the grainy tarmac rubbing against his palms. 

“Oh my god,” a very familiar voice cried out in panic, “Maehara, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there. Are you okay?”

The strawberry blonde groaned, eyes still shut as he lifted himself up from the ground.

“Wha-yeah, man, it’s cool no worri-NAGISA?!” Maehara yelled in shock, eyes bulging and jaw dropping when he took in the appearance of his classmate.

Splodges of striking indigo draped the smaller boy’s forehead, temples and cheekbones, glaring angrily at everyone that so much as glanced at them. The smears of purple and red near those large cerulean eyes stood out against that porcelain, otherwise pristine pale skin. His cheeks were red and the golden-haired boy couldn’t tell if it was from his crying, exertion or the cold bite of the chilly air. Locks of aquamarine that were usually tied up into cute twintails were unraveled, cascading messily down the other teenager’s scalp, a few stray strands sticking haphazardly to his dampened face. What was really strange was his clothing: flowing near his knees was a flared pink skirt decorated with intricate little floral designs and a pastel pink blouse was tucked under it. The garments were rumpled and ruffled, soaked with rain and tarnished with mud. His feet were bare with raw pink painting their edges. Pooling around his feet was a large piece of cotton - most likely an old blanket - that was probably dropped during the collision.

“Nagisa, what the hell happened to you?” Maehara spluttered out once he was snapped out of his trance-like state, “why are you wearing that? Where are your shoes? Why are you crying?”

In hindsight, it probably wasn’t a good idea to start bombarding questions at a boy who looked like he was going to either burst into tears or have a panic attack without a second’s notice but the surprise of this entire situation just seemed to make all logic and reason fly out of the window.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I’ve I’ve got to go,” Nagisa stammered out as he swiftly picked up the discarded sheet on the ground, now dripping murky brown due to the rainwater. Maehara quickly grabbed onto the blunette’s wrist to prevent him from escaping his sight. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said firmly. Nagisa exhaled heavily and squeaked, looking at him with eyes wide with fear.

“But-but-I.”

“If anyone’s chasing you I’ll give them a lesson they’ll never forget. No one is chasing you, right?”

“N-n-no,” Nagisa gulped at the stern look that the usual carefree teenager shot him, shaking his head rapidly, “at-atleast I don’t think so.”

“Hmm,” Maehara hummed, jaw set, practically seething with rage as he regarded Nagisa’s bruised and shivering form. Whoever hurt, his classmate, whoever terrified him to this level, they better run. It just so happened that Nagisa was a beloved member of a class of assassins, all of who would give hell to whoever it was that would dare hurt him. All it would take is one message to the class group chat and they’re done for - they have no idea who they just messed with. When he noticed that Nagisa still bore that fearful countenance, his eyes softened and he pulled the smaller boy closer so that both of them were standing under the umbrella. He then handed the handle to him, which Nagisa took with a perplexed look that then transformed to shock when Maehara started stripping off his rain jacket.

“Maehara, what are you doing?” he asked with alarm, voice rising.

“Giving you my jacket,” was his simple response.

“What?” Nagisa whisper-yelled, “wha-no! You can’t do that. Really I’m fine and-”

“No, you’re not,” Maehara retorted as he held the jacket out, “Nagisa, it’s raining cats and dogs and here you are soaking wet. You’re not even wearing shoes and you’re shivering. At least I’m wearing a full-sleeved sweater under this. Now take my jacket before I shove it onto you myself.”

Nagisa gulped once again at the uncharacteristically serious tone in the blonde’s voice before taking the jacket and tentatively put it on. The large garment practically engulfed him, with the end reaching upto his calves and the cuffs flowing past his fingertips.

“Alright?” Maehara asked. When Nagisa nodded, he continued, “good. Now come on, let’s go.”

Nagisa yelped when the taller boy swung an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer under the protection of their shared canopy, “wai-wait, where-where are we going?”

“Out of this rain for one. I was actually on my way to Isogai’s cafe before I bumped into you - literally,” he was hoping that that little quip would’ve brought a slight smile, or at least that small huff of laughter he usually does, but if anything, the look on Nagisa’s face could only be described as horror.

“Wait, Isogai!” he whispered harshly, stopping in place, “I-I can’t let Isogai see me like this. I-I I just can’t. Please Maehara, just let me go.”

“Nagisa, I can’t,” Maehara replied kindly, “look, I don’t know what’s going on at all here but I need to make sure that you’re safe and letting you run off to god knows where in the pouring rain is the complete opposite of safe. We don’t need to talk about the bruises but we need to atleast get you someplace warm. And, look, you know Isogai, he never judges or asks questions when he shouldn’t. Just, please, let me make sure that you’re alright, okay?”

Nagisa bit his lip and looked down before making the smallest movements with his head - a nod. Maehara internally crowed with victory that was mixed with an overwhelming surge of protectiveness that curled in his gut at the way the golden hue of his bright yellow umbrella seemed to highlight the contusions that decorated the other boy’s face.

“That's the spirit, Nagisa. Now let’s go.” 

……………...

Isogai was dressed in his classic black and white waiter’s uniform, carrying a tea tray and the air of polite grace and elegance. When the bell by the door rang to signal the two boys’ entrance, Isogai raised his head to greet them with his usual friendly smile only for his face to fall with horror and concern once his eyes had taken in Nagisa’s injured form hanging off of his boyfriend.

“Excuse me, ladies,” he said gentlemanly at the middle-aged women he was currently serving tea to, flashing them his patented pleasant smile that brought in customers by the dozen as he carefully placed the teapot in the middle of the table, “an issue seems to have come up so if there’s nothing else for you to order, I shall be taking my leave.”

“Why of course not, Isogai,” One of them cooed, waving her hand down at him, “you work so hard, you know. Do be a dear and give your mother my love for me, though.”

Isogai bowed his head, “Of course, Ma’am. Please enjoy your meal.”

He immediately rushed towards the entrance, placing a hand onto the blunette’s shoulder, “what happened?”

“I bumped into him on my way here,” Maehara supplied with a jerk of his head towards the shorter boy, “any chance there’s a free booth for us?”

“Of course,” Isogai smiled, though his eyes held unmistakable concern. The look of disquietude on Maehara’s face made him uneasy - and, of course, it’s not everyday you see your classmate entering your place of work with bruises littering their face and feet bare. Especially a pacifist like Nagisa who would be the last person on Earth to be involved in a brawl of any kind, “follow me, please.”

Once Nagisa and Maehara were seated, the golden-haired boy turned towards their class representative, “Hey, Yuuma, I think he could use some tea. He’s shivering and I don’t think that it’s from the rain.”

Isogai nodded firmly, eyes still glued onto the unfortunate subject of their conversation, whose head was hung low and had yet to speak a word, “I’ll get a cup right away.”

As soon as Isogai left, Maehara looked at his companion, “So, Nagisa-“

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nagisa mumbled, hugging himself tighter.

“Alright,” Maehara said, feeling very much out of his depth at the moment, hoping and praying for Isogai to hurry up. It was such a role reversal, for him to be the one comforting Nagisa when it was normally the blue-haired boy that was the class therapist, who was the one with the emotional intelligence to make anyone calm down or cheer up, “let’s talk about something else instead.”

“Like what?” Nagisa turned to him.

“Like,” Maehara suggested, “like, about these cute cat videos Kurahashi sent to the group chat earlier. Have you seen them?”

When Nagisa shook his head, Maehara grinned and pulled out his phone to stream the very video. It turned out to be the trick because the starting clip of a tiny kitten pawing at a ball of yarn caused the very thing that Maehara hoped would happen - Nagisa smiled. It was just a small quirk of the lips but it was there. As the seconds passed and a new clip started playing, the other seemed to be entranced by the screen, even at one point covering his mouth to muffle a slight squeak of laughter. Isogai arrived during a later recording of a bunch of felines staring confusedly at a piece of cling film that was blocking their path, looking at Nagisa quizzically before turning his gaze towards Maehara, who just smiled. The brunette smiled back as he placed the tea tray onto the table and took a seat on the chairs opposite the other two. Nagisa’s head shot up at the sound of the tray hitting the tabletop, his smile sliding off his face as fast as lightning. His earlier look of fear made an appearance, which made Isogai quickly say, “Hey, it’s alright Nagisa. Nothing’s going to happen, okay. We won’t make you say anything you don’t want to, we just want to help. Oh, here, I brought an ice pack for your face. Does it hurt?”

Nagisa shook his head, but took the ice pack anyway, quietly replying, “No, I-I barely feel a thing, really. You shouldn’t have gone through all of that trouble.”

“Nonsense,” Maehara said as he started to pour Nagisa a steaming cup of tea, pushing the ceramic cup towards him, “now drink up, man.” When Nagisa just stared at the beverage, he added, “it’s not poisoned you know.”

Nagisa unzipped Maehara’s jacket so that he could extract his arms out and place both palms onto the warm surface of the tea cup and bring it to his mouth, making sure to take slow, careful sips. Isogai’s eyes widened at the sight of Nagisa’s short sleeved, light pink blouse before turning to Maehara, questions blazing in his eyes. His boyfriend could only shoot his own puzzled look and shook his head. 

“Nagisa,” Isogai started, “where did you get those injuries?”

Nagisa paused, looking down at the table as he deeply exhaled, “I-I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Were they from some bullies? Delinquents? Main campus kids?”

Nagisa said nothing.

“If it was Seo and his buddies, you can tell me,” Maehara said, smirking darkly, “I remember perfectly well them trying to have a go at me during the Kaho incident. Of course, we made them pay in the end but I wouldn’t mind going for a round two.”

“Hiroto,” Isogai reproached, “not the time. But Nagisa, if someone from our school did this to you, I would really appreciate it if you told us.”

Still nothing.

“Nagisa?”

…

“Bro?”

“No,” Nagisa finally whispered, it was so small that if the other teenagers weren’t sitting directly  beside or opposite him, they probably wouldn’t have heard him, “it wasn’t someone from school.”

“From another school?” Maehara offered.

Nagisa shook his head.

“I see,” was all Isogai said.

“Does this have anything to do with what you’re wearing?” Maehara asked, “because-”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Nagia repeated, more firmly this time.

Realising that they weren’t going to be getting anywhere soon, Isogai said, “Alright, let’s not talk about it. We can’t let you go home though, not until the rain’s cleared up, at least.”

“I’m sorry for ruining whatever plans the two of you had,” Nagisa murmured. He seemed to find a spot on the table very interesting.

“You’re not ruining anything, Nagisa,” Isogai stated.

“Exactly,” Maehara agreed, “I normally come here before Isogai finishes his shift anyway. I usually just wait here by myself for an hour until he’s done then he spends his break with me and then I stay until it’s time for him to leave. I’m friends with the owner so he’s good with me hanging around. If anything, I’m thankful for your company.”

“Thanks,” Nagisa muttered, still refusing to meet either of their gazes, “for this - for everything. You didn’t have to do all of this and I-I know that you guys are worried for me and want to help but I’m just-I’m just not ready to talk about all of this. Not yet, at least.”

“We understand that,” Isogai explained kindly, the usual twinkle in his eyes returning full-force, “But you must know that we care about you. Maehara and I. Us seeing you hurt is not something we take lightly. And you don’t just have us; you have everyone else in our class and Koro-Sensei and Karasuma-Sensei - I’m pretty sure that even B***h-Sensei would help you if you asked her to. It’s the least we could do for all that you’ve done for us. I’m pretty sure I would’ve gone crazy or Kataoka would’ve killed someone if you aren’t there to keep the peace.”

“He’s right,” Maehara chipped in, throwing an arm around Nagisa’s sodden shoulders and grinning at him, “you’re like the nicest and sweetest guy ever. If you told me that singing birds help you get ready for school every morning I would wholeheartedly believe you. We all have your back, got it? You’re not in this alone.”

Nagisa smiled at them, though it did kind of resemble a grimace, a hue of rosy pink spreading across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, “heh, thanks. To be honest, guys, I’m just really tired right now.”

“Well if you’re tired you could just go to sleep,” Maehara suggested, “we’re going to be here a while.”

When Nagisa started to doze off, his sodden head resting on Maehara’s shoulder, the blonde looked at his best friend since Elementary School, “what should we do, Yuuma?”

“I’m not sure,” Isogai replied, “we can’t make him open up if he doesn’t feel comfortable with it but if he’s in danger we can’t let this go on. The best thing we can do right now is be there for him and wait for him to be ready to tell us what he can. Oh - looks like some new customers are coming. Are you alright with sitting here?”

Maehara smiled, “Sure I am. Go ahead, Yuuma. Go charm the world with your dazzling looks.”

Isogai rolled his eyes good-naturedly. He swiftly stood up and just as he was passing his boyfriend, he leaned down and placed a kiss onto his cheek, “Love you.”

“I love you too.”

As long as they had each other, everything would be alright.

[swamplatibule]

Steel and Smoke part two because fuck yeahhhh

Alright so last time the place we stopped was Fang showed Clover her face and then Nico crashed his ship into the Sparrow (Fang’s ship) because he doesn’t know how to pilot. Yeah.

Once again, putting it under ✨the cut✨ because it’s gonna be long

Okay so Nico just crashes into the ship, nothing breaks, don’t worry, but there’s definitely a significant dent in the side of the Sparrow now. Fang and Clover run up to the cockpit, both to check out what hit them and to possibly start a chase if need be.

And need does be.

See, the ship Nico took happens to be a pretty intimidating ship. This thing is pretty sleek and small and it’s completely decked out with weapons, and even though he doesn’t know how to use them, they definitely unnerve Fang. She can’t say she likes being shot at.

So the Sparrow starts zooming away at full speed. Fang is an excellent pilot, she knows how everything works and what it’s called, but she has a habit of assuming that everyone else does too. She sees this ship that looks like its probably trying to attack her, and she assumes that the person flying it must be a badass pilot. Ships like that aren’t a easy to fly. So she uses every maneuver she knows to get the hell out of there.

Nico is having a very hard time keeping up, because as I am going to mention a million times, he’s not a good pilot. He has trouble just flying in a straight line. So when Fang skirts around a fairly obvious dead zone, he flies right into it.

Now, children, Xelian dead zones are DANGEROUS. They‘re large blobs of space that have a purple glow surrounding them, and flying into them will completely decimate a ship and probably kill anyone inside. It‘s ridiculously hot in there. You get exposed to that heat, you’re dead. Problem is, there’s also a heavy amount of pressure that will very slowly crunch up almost anything like a soda can. Plus, going in there completely shuts down all of the electricity on a ship, so you can’t just fly out.

So, in short, Nico is very much not in a good spot right now.

Clover can see him through the windshield of his ship, since the dead zone shut off whatever thing was making it mirrored, and she realizes- That‘s. That’s just some kid. Fang is already going to help, because as mentioned before, she’s a thief, not a killer. She has relatively okay morals as of yet. Of course, how the hell do you get someone out of a dead zone?

I don’t actually fully know. Y’all ever get those chunks of your daydreams where it just kinda skips something and then continues? Yeah.

So they get Nico out of the deadzone somehow, leaving his ship behind because by that point, this thing is so scrunched up and broken that there’s no way to salvage it. He, like Clover, is absolutely panicked about being on the Songbird’s ship, but he also just needs a moment because he almost died and he’s shooketh.

It should be noted that Fang has not put her helmet back on. She just kinda forgot.

Nico, who has recovered a bit from the shock, is now less panicky but extremely confused. The Silver Songbird, literal scourge of Xeliah, most infamous, wanted criminal in the system, is some fifteen year old who can’t seem to stop making sarcastic remarks to the random girl with her that Nico vaugely remembers as that spellcaster on the news.

[Clover keeps asking him if he’s okay, is he hurt, etc., and Fang has suddenly started being the most sarcastic person ever because that‘s what she does when she’s in tense situations.]

There’s definitely a bit of relief when Nico starts answering her questions, because oh thank the gods he’s not brain damaged. Fang helps Clover get him to the Sparrow’s ‘Infirmary’, which is really just a smallish room with somewhere to sit down and a few cabinets of first aid supplies and such. Then she goes up to the cockpit, because someone needs to be flying the ship and also because she really doesn't feel like dealing with this right now, it‘s been a fucking DAY for her.

So Nico and Clover are alone, with Clover bandaging his hand because he hurt it and Nico technically knows how first aid works but he’s never done it on himself before so now probably ain’t the best time to start, y’know?

They’re just vibing in there, with Clover explaining what she knows has happened so far (although neither of them are still certain whether or not Fang tried to kill Nico’s mom) and them having a conversation and stuff, when Fang comes in.

Nico stands up, very immediately on guard, and starts demanding some answers about the assassination attempt. It’s at this moment that Fang and Clover realize that this is May Eternity’s fucking son. They just technically kidnapped the son of an important political figure. Oh shit.

We‘ll ignore that for a second, however, because Fang is not the type to quietly let someone yell at her or order her around, so it quickly becomes a rather loud argument between them. Clover has to break it up, one because they’re fighting and that‘s not good, and two because something is coming towards them very fast and maybe that‘s a thing that they to avoid.

It is most definitely a thing they need to avoid.

You see, there are very few creatures that can survive in a dead zone. One of which being a lovely little critter known as a Caliszon Serpent. Its basically a really big snake, godzilla snek, that floats around and doesn't need to breathe and just so happens to consider passing ships a wonderful snack. We’re gonna call this one Fred. And Fred just spotted them.

Fang gets to the controls in time to avoid Fred’s first lunge, but here’s the thing about Caliszon Serpents - They’re fast. When you’ve just been floating around space for a while, you learn how to zoom. And zoom Fred does.

Yeah, you thought that the Nico-Sparrow space chase was the only one for today? Now you’ve got three kids in a ship, only one of which knows how to pilot anything, trying to avoid Super Danger Noodle.

How lovely.