#smutty phan

[stillwaitingforthedoor]

in light of recent fem!dan appearances and the reactions they elicit from phil i'm begging you to read this fic i stumbled across and then to look at the date of publishing :))))) yes it does say 2016 :)))))))))

[simplydnp]

hey there!

I kind of consider you the resident dnp expert (at least in dnp culture) so I wanted your opinion on a question that's been building for a while now.

What are the boundaries for dnp now?

There are so many things that I feel have changed even in the last four years: writing smutty rpf was Gross and Weird, along with art along that line, speculating about their relationship was ABSOLUTELY a no-go, all things that I see happening on Tumblr now. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing!! I'm just acknowledging things have changed over time. They're different people now and so are we, and the "we know you know" era is lots of fun.

I was browsing reddit today (bad idea, do not recommend) and came across a post from a new Phannie asking if DnP were in a relationship. And while I agree that we cannot say for absolute certain that they are, the responses had a VERY different vibe than on here, emphasizing how bad the speculation was (true) and essentially saying "don't even think about that, just enjoy their content." (or something to that extent.)

Which... is very different from this here website in which we joke about them being horney for each other constantly lmao.

Being a very rules-driven person, I like expectations to be made abundantly clear for pretty much everything. So that's why I want to ask: Is there a line here? Are we crossing that line? How defined is that line? (All of this, of course, I recognize is your opinion and yours alone, and if this is posted I encourage anyone else to share their two-cents in a respectful way.)

Obviously, trying to find out where they live/things like that is very clearly crossing a boundary. But is there some sort of limit or boundary I (and tbh the rest of the phandom), in your opinion, should be keeping in mind?

thanks xx

hi!

'resident expert' is a hefty title, i'm just here trying my best!

'what are the boundaries for dnp now?' is really a great question. cause the thing is, we used to know. there used to be a fairly well-defined and mostly agreed upon line, and ever since the dapg revival in particular, the line keeps moving.

i'll be honest, i never really saw phanfic as rpf, even though it is. my stance on phanfic is the same as dnps: it's a beautiful expression of art and creativity and is so, so important. they've always been pro-fic (even though we subjected them to some absolutely horrific crack fics), so i don't think 'smutty' fic has ever been gross or too far. they've given their blessing, and, as the conversation has been in fandom communities the last few years, rpf isn't 'for' the people in them, it's for the fans. so i digress.

art is much the same way. they love art! they even included art of them kissing in a tumblr tag video back in the day, so to say that's not allowed especially after they're out is kind of crazy to me.

i think the line with stuff like that was showing it directly to dnp--tagging them in explicit stuff, that kind of thing. but creating it? go for it! it's always been a green light. (i think fans have previously overpoliced this and we lost a lot of great fic, art, and community members over it)

browsing reddit is always a Choice. i've never participated on dnp reddit before but i am aware that it is an entirely different space than here. something that's important, i think (and i think you think this too as you're asking about them), is to respect the fandom rules of the place you partcipate in. tumblr is generally one of the most phan-positive places on the internet, especially publicly facing. we make a lot of relationship jokes, particularly because we run on the assumption it's already true, based on what they've both said publicly (mostly dan).

i won't comment on reddit specifically just because i'm not a part of the community there, but the speculation about dnp online was a Lot for a long time. but the worst part of it was the stalking, the digging into personal lives, the contacting family members--that is what was bad. dnp have always had a connection--and, honestly, they kind of love flexing it and kind of always have. they absolutely play into things now, but they certainly did even way before coming out too. i think a certain level of speculation was to be expected, especially in that era of online fandom. but it wasn't just the 'teenage girls' who cared, the media did too, and so did many others.

i think one of the biggest differences now is 1 the awareness of 'our' past and trying to make up for it, and 2 the broader societal conversations about parasocial relationships.

you see this reflected on the snippets ive seen from dnp reddit and dnp twitter. they tend to be Very 'cautious' about the words they say, often undercutting perfectly reasonable statements with 'but whatever their relationship is'. on one hand, they don't want to cross a line, and i can respect that. on the other hand... it's 2024 babes. they just put out merch of them holding hands. dan's directly, intentionally, and explicitly called phil a bottom on dapg. they reacted to all of the pinofs, made jokes about 'theyre touching', and even joked about the tackle being 'wrestling 👀'. dan posted half-naked catboy pics and showed us phil was taking them. the 'watch your step babygirl' tweet & their reactions to it. phil is credited in WAD. they're making threesome jokes about themselves as a unit. i could go on and on.

to me, there's a few things that have 'moved the line' for us, so to speak.

1 - DAPG returning. for the last few years they specifically were not a duo (for projects) anymore. (and no, not because they hated each other). they just weren't. they wanted to focus on their goals and projects. they didn't have to resurrect dapg, but they chose to. marketing and money aside, they knew that if this went over well, it would well and truly revive the 'dan and phil' brand again. it would be specifically returning to being a duo in the public eye. (however they've also fully embraced this in all aspects, including merch, videos, and general attitude)

2 - pinof reacts. even though they'd been out since 2019, we hadn't had regular joint content from them since before that, therefore, while they had become more comfortable with themselves and their 'outness', we hadn't (in terms of them making explicit gay jokes together). so i really think dnp had to de-fang a lot of the 'theyre touching' of it all, because we didn't really know where we stood on it anymore. i think they succeeded, too. we couldn't be here, with the content of the last 3 months, without them tackling it head on (well, as head on as they're want to do).

3 - dapc. genuinely another big shift. they did this for the real fans. purely a passion project, and a specific choice in doing the handhold. they know what we're like. and this wasn't a brief, unplanned, unscripted moment. it's a specifically blocked out scene. they know it's opening a door, and they chose to. this is doubled by the fucking iconic merch selling, and furthered by phil's twitter likes of arguably romantic phanart, and then dan's full straddle like.

even throughout the current 6 months of revival, the line has moved. i don't know where it will settle. dnp keep moving it, in my opinion, and, genuinely, i don't think it's going to leave much to the imagination. as you say, obviously not the stalking or the contacting, but beyond that? especially here on tumblr? i wouldn't get too worried. obviously people will have their opinions, but as long as you're generally respectful and recognize that humans will see your posts and humans interact with them, i think you're good.

my rule of thumb is anything they intentionally put on the table, we can joke about or at the same level. but in terms of art/fic? go off, live your dreams. dan and phil would want you to.

[greencatalystcomet]

yall remember like a week ago when there was all the phan porn addiction controversy on twitter?

we should all draw a bunch of smutty fanart and write smutty fanfiction about dnp getting fucked in the ass by deadpool and wolverine

or fucking eachother AS deadpool and wolverine

[readthephible]

okay i’m heavily procrastinating here. but i am now 2 weeks away from college starting again and i wanted to write more on this break. but i haven’t, bc i write on my phone and get distracted easily. so here is me forcing my wips / ideas into the light in hopes of holding myself accountable

smosh:

- stop the world (i wanna get off with you)

part 4 of domestic smutty shaymien series. currently at 10.6k words. purely fluffy smut and not much else.

- it’s sword of a funny story

not yet written. danse/chamien meetcute where chanse meets damien at renfaire

- raised by wolves (pending title)

nintendogs. action. actually has a plot. drabble i wrote the other day here

- the element of surprise

wild west shaymanda au. amanda is a damsel in distress rescued by sheriff shayne. shayne gets pegged by her, she is adamant on running away to hollywood, shayne follows after her.

- love me more

(potentially unrequited) shaynse. chanse’s crush on shayne is obvious to everyone but himself

- your best american girl

courtrasha; courtney meets arasha’s parents for the first time, it doesn’t go well

- stitches

based on anthony’s funeral x pet sematary

~

phan:

- dance upon the stars tonight

baldurs gate 3 x phan au

- take a chance on me

never completed, unintentionally abandoned drag queen dan au i wish i had the energy to revive

[andiebomb]

We as a community talk a lot about the old gay smutty romantic phan fanfics of back in the day with cringe BUT I feel like we are skipping over a VERY VITAL part of the phandom and that is…

Adoption fics.

[yazihowell]

Hello! I have a fic prompt for the #phan thing! What about Phil (mr sweet tooth himself) eating too much Belgian chocolate while they’re in Antwerp? (Mindfully eating it of course.) Or having a Belgian waffle with mountains of chocolate on it? Feel like there’s a few cute non smutty directions you could go with this 😊

hey there!! thank you for this cute idea, i’ll start on it today! :3

[poisonousquinzel]

full offense but if you write smutty Reader x Real Person stories you're fucking weird and on the same level in fandoms as the folks who ship real people together (ex: larry & phan)

like there's something really invasive and incredibly inappropriate about writing graphic sex stories about real life people. It does not matter if they're a celebrity. In The Slightest. It doesn't matter if once n a while they have a reaction to thirsty comments that isn't just "uh, okay wtf", it's still weird. Like the amount of reader/real person porn that's in tags for like Pedro Pascal and Tom Holland is severely disturbing.

& it's not being a prude or sensitive to sex / being against sex positivity or some shit to have a problem with it.

Being a public figure doesn't mean that fans have the right to push past those standard societal boundaries, it doesn't suddenly make it so those boundaries don't exist.

And seeing folks in fandoms leap past basic common decency and morals because they wanna be able to self insert themselves into a written fantasy about getting fucked by a celebrity that did not consent to being written about in such a manner, is so beyond screwed up.

[itmightbeneb]

Hmmmm I think deeply about your points because I think I do what you don't like. But I like you. And hmm.. let me explain.. Mostly I ship for fun and giggles and I don't care about those ships becoming ""real"" or being ""confirmed"". I'm not interested in their irl personal lives. I enjoy content and their dynamics. But the thing with dnf and my other fandom (phan) is that it goes so much deeper. Of course we don't know them really. But it feels like they want us to assume? They want us to think they are in relationship? To dam dam dam truth them? I know it's mostly questionable when it comes to sexuality. And it's typically dnf thing. But as a closeted queer person I lied a lot about my sexuality and I still want my people to recognise me. I want people to assume. Also things change. People realise things. Some people are in relationships and never clarify their sexuality. And of course I support bisexuals and we should never forget about the fact that dream is also very much attracted to women. I don't know if you get what I mean I'm open for your critique

didn't phan hate being shipped? idk about now, it may have changed, but when I was a teen during their height of popularity I remember them hating being shipped

and tbh (unconfirmed but just a theory I have) I think a lot of the reasons actual people hate being shipped with one another is less the smutty fanfic (you have to go looking for that) but the invasiveness of shippers. EVERYTHING is about the person they ship you with, you can't look at another friend without people comparing how you look at them vs the person they ship you with. you can't hug them without people ignoring one hug in favour of another, dismissing friendships and relationships that mean a lot to you because it's not about that other person

like yeah Dream, George, sapnap and others are fine with us shipping them, but where I personally think it crosses the line is when we make every little thing they do into dnf, like they don't give us enough content in their own already

like yeah, we literally joke that you have to ship dnf in order to be a dream stan (enforced by dream), but I don't think he'd want us making every interaction with everyone he cares about into dnf. THAT'S the kinda stuff I have an issue with, that and the notion that we can't ship other dtkq ships with either dream or George bc it's not dnf, because say dreamnap for example have a brotherly relationship

Bro we're shipping real people let's not focus on what's real and whats not, both dream and sapnap are cool with it why should you care? let people have fun??? writing whole essays in response to someone having a little fun with dnn shipping or knf shipping or whatever because it'll never be real like dnf 💀treating them like fictional characters not actual human beings (cos like all this would be chill if they were all just fictional characters, well maybe not making fun of other shippers bc that's just rude, but the making everything either one of them does about dnf)

basically I think you're taking my dislike of people who truth a relationship to this extreme extent as dislike for dnfers in general

[dnpredacted]

(feel free to delete this if this is too weird)

I like to imagine that whenever dnp wanna spice up their sex life they search for a smutty fic on AO3. Like I imagine that curiosity has gotten the better of them and they’ve developed their own phan porn addiction.

⭒

[adorkablephil]

Ficlet: Tight Places

Title: Tight Places Word Count: 750 Rating: Explicit Summary: The bunks on the Interactive Introverts tour bus are really small. Inspired by Phil’s latest video, “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other.” Tags: Established Relationship, Sexting, Interactive Introverts Tour Bus, Dirty Talk, Implied Masturbation, References to Various Sex Acts (including fellatio, anilingus, and anal penetration) Author’s Note: Written for @agingphangirl because I just listened to her podcast with @charlottekath and @ineverhadmyinternetphase, and she mentioned what a sucker she is for a tour bus fic.

Tight Places

Dan: you awake?

Phil: Yeah. Why?

Dan: what you doing?

Phil: Reading. Why?

Dan: i’m bored

Phil: I recommend books

Dan: and horny

Phil: oh

Phil: I recommend porn

Dan: horny for you specifically

Phil: Well, that isn’t going to happen. These bunks are too small.

Dan: i know

Dan: but you could talk me through it

Phil: No way am I talking dirty to you from a separate bunk over the sound of the engine when the bus driver might hear. You’re just going to have to get yourself off without my help.

Dan: come on phil

Phil: No

Dan: i’m desperate

Phil: You’ve wanked enough in your life, you’ll manage

Dan: i want your hand not mine

Phil: Tough

Dan: then text me

Phil: You want me to sext with you from a few feet away?

Dan: please

Dan: please

Dan: please??

Phil: fine

Phil: Think about the last time I was eating you out.

Dan: oh yeah that’s good

Phil: I was getting you so wet and open with my tongue. Remember that?

Dan: jesus yeah keep going

Phil: Remember how you begged me to fuck you? You were so desperate then, too. So desperate, Dan. You get desperate for my cock, don’t you? Just like you are right now.

Dan: omg yes

Phil: Think about how I teased you, how I slipped my tongue inside until you were so wet, so slippery and open and making those noises you make.

Dan: fuck this isn’t working

Phil: what isn’t working?

Dan: i can’t wank with my right hand, but i have to hold my phone with my left if i want to type

Phil: Try this. Keep holding your phone, keep talking to me, but don’t try to stroke. Just use your right hand to cup the head of your cock.

Dan: okay yeah thats good

Phil: Squeeze it just slightly. Think about when we were home, when I let you fuck me, how tight I was when you pushed inside. Think about that when you squeeze yourself harder.

Dan: oh fuck yeah that was so good

Phil: I know. You loved it. You always love it when I let you top. When I let you shove your hard cock in my ass and lose control.

Dan: jesus i need more this is hot but i can’t come just from this

Phil: Okay. I want you to just play with your slit now, just with a fingertip. Tease yourself. Think about how I tease you there sometimes with my tongue.

Dan: oh yeah oh yeah that’s working

Phil: Are you leaking, Dan? I’ll bet you’re leaking for me. I’ll bet pre-come is just dripping down your cock, getting you all wet, lubing you up like you want to fuck me again, but right now all you get to do is run your fingertip over the slit. Slow.

Dan: no i need it faster

Phil: Keep it slow.

Dan: phil please i’m getting close

Phil: I know. I can hear the noises you’re making up there. You’re going to scare the bus driver.

Dan: fuck the bus driver

Phil: No, I think you’d rather fuck me. Or have me fuck you. Or have me suck you. Which one do you want the most right now, Dan?

Dan: suck me

Phil: okay use your fingertip to spread the pre-come around your head

Dan: oh jesus fuck

Phil: yeah, i know how you like it when i lick the head of your cock like that

Phil: imagine that’s my tongue lapping at you, dipping my tongue into your slit while you beg me to take you all the way in

Phil: all the way in my hot mouth until i’m sucking your entire cock and you can feel yourself bumping against the back of my throat

Dan:

Dan:

Dan: wow ok

Phil: i heard that

Dan: oh my god

Phil: good?

Dan: so good

Phil: now i’m the one with the problem, dan, because you got me all hard and i don’t have your sweet ass here to take my cock

Dan: let me come down there

Phil: the bunk is too small

Dan: i guess ill just have to press against you real tight

Phil: oh

Dan: yeah and probably wiggle around a lot to get comfortable

Phil: oh

Dan: let me come down there?

Phil: um

Dan: i promise i’ll be good

Dan: so so good

Phil: get your fucking ass down here dan

Dan: oh fuck yeah

[lexxwithbooks]

📖: 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑲𝒊𝒔𝒔 𝑸𝒖𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕 (𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐾𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑄𝑢𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡 #1) 🍨 🐉 🎹

✍🏽: 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐚𝐧𝐠

[huphilpuffs]

flares

chapter: 32/? summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy. word count: 3.7k (106k total) rating: explicit (note the rating increase!) warnings: chronic illness, chronic pain, medicine a/n: Immense thanks to @obsessivelymoody for beta’ing!

Ao3 link || read from beginning

Dan wakes with an anxious sort of buzzing in his chest. 

He doesn’t know what he dreamed about to make it that way. Probably nothing. It’s probably just the after effects of speaking his fears into the void and trying to figure out how to make them go away. His joints feel swollen and his ribs ache and he wants to bounce out of bed, push himself until they start to feel better.

He doesn’t do that. He groans as he pushes himself to sit, and winces when his feet hit the floor, and walks into the lounge with slow, unsteady steps.

Phil’s already standing there, behind the breakfast bar, wearing a t-shirt and his pyjama pants and a smile. 

The stools at the breakfast bar aren’t cushioned enough for Dan’s ass, and they have no support for his weak spine, but he goes and sits there anyway. His fingers wrap tight around the edge of his seat, as though that will steady him. There’s a bar that digs into the bottom of his feet when he leans over to kiss Phil good morning.

His smile’s gone wider when Dan pulls away. It makes all the soreness worth it.

“Can I get you anything for breakfast?” he asks. 

“Cereal?”

Phil makes a show of serving him, a clumsy one that results in cinnamons dotted across the countertop and cupboard doors left open. He’s laughing when he slides the bowl over. Dan is too, until the happiness mixes with the anxiety in his chest and makes a muscle there spasm.

His heart feels tight. He takes a big bite of his breakfast in a feeble attempt to ignore it.

“I need to run to the shops today,” says Phil. “Do you need anything?”

Dan shakes his head, mouth still full of cereal, grip on his spoon going shaky. It’s dumb that his brain decides he should feel bad that Phil does the shopping, as though it hasn’t been months. As though Phil looks anything but fine with needing to do stuff for the both of them.

He thinks of the rent he hasn’t paid in weeks. The cereal feels stuck in his throat when he swallows.

“Okay,” says Phil. “I’m gonna get ready then. Text me if you need anything.”

Dan hums. He tries to eat while Phil gets dressed, but only manages one bite before he’s stepping out of his room in a different t-shirt and black skinny jeans. His hair’s still pushed back into a quiff. He must not be bothered enough to straighten his fringe today. 

He comes over, runs his fingers through Dan’s hair and presses a quick kiss to his head before leaving.

A curl flops down over his forehead as the door clicks shut. Dan reaches up to fix it. He needs a haircut. He really needs a shower.

Something in his chest goes tight again. He knows he probably shouldn’t do it while he’s home alone, but the anxiety is growing louder, spreading up his throat like a burning sort of nausea. He can do it without Phil here. He needs to be able to, if this fibromyalgia thing means he’s never fully going to get better.

It probably doesn’t count as graded exercise or whatever. Dan doesn’t care.

He leaves his breakfast on the counter and goes to take a shower. 

---

The water is still kinda cold when Dan steps into the shower, feeling like tiny pinpricks where it hits his skin. 

He tilts his head back so his hair gets wet. His scalp feels tight under the chill, shoulders going tense. The pressure points at the back of his neck are starting to hurt, a dull ache at the spot where Dr. Kissel had pressed. He rubs his hands along his arms where gooseflesh is starting to rise as though that’ll erase the spreading sting of nerves that can’t quite handle this.

Dan tries to ignore it. 

He thinks about the first time Phil helped him do this instead. He leans back into the water so his shampoo runs down his spine and pictures the moment when Phil had taken his shirt off, his concerned frown and the spattering of hair across his chest. He remembers, perhaps too vividly, the touch of Phil’s hands against his skin.

Not for the first time, it makes something warm swirl in his stomach. Dan’s started to get used to that, the hints of arousal that come with taking a shower now, only to get washed away and swept down the drain when his body remembers how much work this actually is. 

The water, warmer now, still beats down against the skin of his back.

Dan stares down at himself. His dick is starting to stir. He reaches for his body wash for an excuse to drag his hands down along his neck, his chest, his thighs. He thinks of Phil’s touch trailing down his spine and what might have happened had he gone lower, had his grip tightened at Dan’s hips, had he helped Dan wash other parts of himself.

He swallows. His cock is starting to get proper hard now. Dan wonders, for a moment, if wanking counts as graded exercise. Probably not.

Dan doesn’t much care.

He wraps a fist around himself, letting his hiss get lost in the sounds of the shower. 

It’s a lot, whatever pleasure’s there is getting lost to a sting of pain, the sensation shooting past overwhelming. He doesn’t let go, though. His free hand comes up to steady himself against the shower wall and he drags his fist up along his shaft, another hiss rolling off his tongue when it seems to throb through his whole body.

He’s never really done this before, not like this. His brain went haywire too young to have ever wanked with any real purpose. And afterwards, whatever arousal he did feel was almost always lost to the ache welling in his bones.

Dan’s pretty sure running an actual marathon would feel just as familiar. 

He doesn’t much care though. Running a marathon sounds bloody miserable and this, he thinks, as he drags his hand back, feels the sting start to ebb on the downstroke, this could be good. 

His hand is starting to shake against the wall. He turns so his back is pressed there instead, feet braced against the slippery floor. The tile presses a tad too harshly against his shoulder blades. He’s not entirely sure he trusts his legs to hold him upright. 

Dan squeezes his eyes shut and tries to ignore all the ways his body feels not quite right, tries to focus on the one thing that does. 

Or maybe it doesn’t. He doesn’t actually know what this is supposed to feel like, but he’s pretty sure it doesn’t much matter, as long as it feels good.

And it does, now. He rubs his thumb across the head of his cock and hears his own moan echo off the bathroom tiles. His eyes squeeze even tighter shut, and the burst of black behind them shifts into something brighter and blurry, like a dream.

It’s not the time Phil helped him shower this time, but the way Phil’s tongue slips into his mouth after they’ve been kissing for a little while, the way his teeth catch at Dan’s lips and leave them tingling in the best way. It’s the press of his hand against Dan’s jaw and how, whether intentionally or not, he almost always starts rubbing circles at where the joint starts to ache. 

Dan moves his hand faster, reaching up with the other to splay his palm across his chest. The pleasure is starting to get overwhelming now, edging past the pain that twinges under his touch.

He wonders what a moan would sound like in Phil’s voice, if it would feel good to have Phil roll over on top of them as they kiss. He thinks of how Phil’s touch already makes his brain forget it’s in pain, of how good it would feel to have Phil touch him like this.

That’s what he’s thinking about when he comes, pleasure throbbing through his entire body until it starts to fade away. The shudder that wracks his spine is so harsh it hurts. His ribs are starting to burn from how heavily he’s breathing. When he blinks his eyes open, the world is blurry, doubled and out of focus.

There’s a prickle at the base of his skull, dizziness swirling in his temples.

“Shit,” he murmurs. His throat feels scratchy. His hand is shaking when he reaches for the tap and turns the water off with a single twist of his wrist.

He’s not sure if it’s the how water or the orgasm that has his head spinning. It doesn’t matter. Black spots erupt at the edge of his vision and even though there’s still a bit of spunk on his stomach, Dan needs to get out of the shower before he collapses onto hard ceramic. 

He wraps his towel around himself before settling onto the floor. The edge of the tub digs into the back of his neck and his hands are too weak to hold the fabric tight around his body. His cock is still softening against his thigh.

It’s probably the delirium of a blood pressure crash that makes that seem so funny, but Dan laughs anyway.

---

“You took a shower,” is the first thing Phil says when he gets home.

He’s dropped his shopping bags by the door and sat down on the armrest of the sofa, gaze locked on the top of Dan’s head. His hair dried a long time ago, but it’s gone all curly from the moisture, less matted over his forehead. Phil reaches out to run his fingers through it.

“Made my blood pressure crash too,” says Dan. 

Phil’s brows furrow. He tucks a curl behind Dan’s ear. “Were you okay?”

Dan hums. “Sat down. Waited it out. Came back up, I guess.”

“Oh,” says Phil. His hand drifts down the side of Dan’s face, settling by his jaw before falling away as Phil moves over on the sofa, wedging himself into the space between the armrest and Dan’s knee. His head falls back against the cushions, eyes meeting Dan’s. “You could have waited, you know. I wouldn’t have minded helping you. Or at least being here in case something happened.”

Warmth blooms in Dan’s cheeks at the thought. He doesn’t have the energy to entertain the ideas that come to mind, the images that faded after a few minutes of lying on his bathroom floor. He hardly has the energy to push them away.

“I know,” he says. And he does.

He did a week ago, at least.

Phil’s still looking at him like he means it, like he wouldn’t have minded at all to linger in the bathroom listening to the pattering of the shower, rubbing shampoo into Dan’s hair. Like it doesn’t cross his mind at all that he’ll have to do it again, and again, and again, if Dan doesn’t learn how to deal with it himself. 

Dan wants to ask. He doesn’t.

He leans over, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder. 

“‘M tired,” he says. 

Phil shifts beneath him, adjusting his legs, looping his arm around Dan’s body, holding him close. “You should rest,” he says. “Blood pressure crashes are hard, huh?”

Dan nods. A silly part of his brain points out that it’s not the only thing that was hard today. The rest of him has gone warm with the sort of momentary comfort that comes from knowing Phil’s still willing to help, for now.

It takes a little while for that thought to lull him to sleep.

---

He’s still on the sofa when he wakes up, curled up on his side, throw pillow tucked under his head. Phil’s hand is on his shoulder, voice in his ear, whispering his name. There’s a blanket draped over Dan’s body, he realizes, that wasn’t there when he fell asleep.

“Good afternoon,” says Phil. He sounds like he’s smiling. “I made us a proper lunch for once.”

“Oh.” Dan takes a breath. “Smells nice,” he says. “I should learn to do that for myself.”

He rolls onto his back, the armrest digging into his neck and the blanket getting all twisted around his legs. Phil’s hand falls from his shoulders, landing on the sofa cushion. When Dan blinks up at him, Phil’s brows are furrowed, slips pressed tight together.

“Why?” he says.

“Why what?”

“Why should you learn to cook?” says Phil. He holds his hand out to help Dan off the sofa, pressing the other against Dan’s hip to steady him when he sways onto his feet. His lips dust against the shell of his ear. “I don’t mind cooking, you know. You were tired.”

Dan’s chest goes tight. His hand lands on Phil’s stomach, clutching at the fabric of his t-shirt. “I know,” he mumbles. “Just, like, I’ll need to cook for myself one day.”

“I guess,” says Phil. His voice is low, unconvinced. “Not today, though. Come eat.”

He squeezes Dan’s hip once before letting go and leading him to the dining table. His frown has settled into a shaky smile. He motions to the table with a twist of his wrist, a flourish that doesn’t quite reach his fingertips. There’s two plates set out, paired with apple juice poured into wine glasses. 

Dan smiles back at him. His cheeks feel tight. His eyes are stinging. He stands there as Phil pulls his chair out for him and motions for him to sit. 

The serving of spaghetti piled onto his plate is too much for him to eat.

Dan grabs a fork and digs into it anyway, because he’s a little hungry and Phil’s too nice and there’s a lump in his throat that he can’t quite force down on his own. 

Phil watches him. His smile has fallen again. He hasn’t even reached for his fork. Dan’s halfway through a sip of juice when he says, “Is that why you showered while I was gone?”

Dan sets his glass down slowly, the clatter of it against the table top echoing too loudly. “Huh?”

Phil shrugs. He grabs his fork and starts fidgeting with it, gaze locked on his plate. “The whole needing to do stuff for yourself thing,” he says. “You usually wait until I could, like, help. I mean, if you need it.”

“Oh,” says Dan. A muscle in his chest spasms, the pressure in his throat growing painful. His hunger has morphed into something more like nausea that makes him want to go back to the sofa, curl up with his blanket and ignore the fact that he knows it’s not the food that caused it. “Doesn’t matter. Just felt like showering.”

It’s shaky. He hears it in his own ears, watches something shutter across Phil’s face in response. 

He knows Dan’s lying. He must. And the thought makes Dan’s breath catch in chest, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. He flattens his hands against the table to push himself back, fingers shaking over the table top, sweaty palms leaving smudged prints on the glass. 

“‘M not hungry,” he says, because at least that’s actually true.

Phil reaches for him before he can try to stand, hand stopping just far enough that his fingers drift across Dan’s knuckles, hesitant.

He looks scared.

“Sorry,” he says. “I know how annoying it is when people ask about stuff that you’re, like, anxious about.”

Dan almost says, I’m not anxious. He almost asks, What were you anxious about? His fingers are shaking and his legs feel too weak to flee and he ends up just staring at the table, swallowing when his brain lets him start to breathe again. Phil’s palm has landed flat against the table, right next to his.

He’s not touching anymore.

“Unless you want to tell me?” he says. “I’m all ears. Only if you do.”

He shrugs. “It’s gonna sound like I’m asking for something,” he mumbles. “And I don’t want you to say yes just because you have to.”

“Oh,” says Phil. His fingers twitch on the tabletop. “What if I promise I won’t do that?”

Dan laughs. It comes out as a breath. “You can’t do that. Not if you think it’ll upset me.”

“You’re right,” says Phil. Dan looks back up at him then, catches the slightest upturn of his lips. “But if I know one thing about anxiety, it’s that usually when you expect something to hurt you, it’s not, like, actually gonna do that.”

“How wise,” says Dan. He manages half a smile back. “I just, like, don’t want you to feel pressured or whatever.”

Phil nods. He sits back in his chair, just for a moment, just long enough to shift his chair over so he’s closer to Dan. He doesn’t need to reach over their meals from there, just grabs Dan’s hand and holds on tight.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he says. “But I promise I’ve never felt pressured by you before.”

Dan swallows. He’s not even sure he entirely means to when he says, “Even when you asked your parents for money to cover rent because of me?”

Without hesitating, Phil answers, “Yup. Even then.” 

“Oh.”

That makes it easier. Dan sucks in a breath through his nose and lets it out through his mouth, letting himself sink heavier against the back of the dining chair. Phil’s grip on his hand tightens even more, lips pinching into a thoughtful line as he watches Dan.

“Is that what this is about? Rent?” he asks.

Dan shrugs. “I guess? Sorta?” He glances down, staring at where Phil’s fingers are wrapped around his. “Just, like, if this whole fibromyalgia thing is gonna be permanent, I figure I can’t expect your parents to help pay forever and I don’t think I can work and then if you can’t pay rent I’ll have to move and I really don’t want to move back in with my mum–”

“Hey, whoa, stop.”

Dan clamps his mouth shut, looking back up at Phil. His eyes are gone wide and a little glossy and an apology for making him look that way is curling at the tip of Dan’s tongue. It falls silent when Phil tugs their joined hands into his lap, pressing his palm across the ridges of Dan’s knuckles and holding on tight.

“What makes you think you’d have to move out?” he whispers. His voice cracks at the end. 

Whatever pressure was lingering in Dan’s chest crumbles. 

“Money? Being sick isn’t exactly conducive to fiscal success, in case you didn’t notice.”

“And? You think I’d kick you out?” says Phil.

“Not because you wanted to,” says Dan. “But you need to be able to afford to, like, live. And if your parents can’t help anymore, I’m bloody useless.”

“So? I told you, I’d smuggle you into my bedroom,” he says. The corner of his mouth quirks up, pink tinging his cheeks. “Probably makes more sense now that we’re…”

Dan’s whole body goes warm, gaze flicking back down to their joined hands. “We’re?”

“Together?” says Phil, voice lilted with hope. His thumb drifts over Dan’s, grip careful and comforting.

“Yeah,” Dan breathes. “Together.”

He watches the smile spread wider across Phil’s face, reaching his eyes. Despite everything, Dan feels himself mirroring it until he’s certain both his dimples have popped in his cheeks.

“Okay, good,” says Phil. “So, even if my parents did stop helping, you wouldn’t have to leave, okay? We could share my room and get a roommate. Or move into a smaller place with just one bedroom, if we don’t need the second one.”

Dan tries not to let it show on his face, how nice that sounds. “Do you think we should tell your parents now?” he asks.

“You haven’t even told your mum yet,” says Phil.

Dan shrugs. “She’s not helping us with money,” he says. “Your parents– I feel bad that they’re paying because I’m sick and they don’t even know with what.”

“Neither did you, until a few days ago.”

“But I do now,” says Dan. He squeezes Phil’s hand, the one still in his grasp. “I don’t want them to feel like I’m hiding it from them.”

Phil squeezes back. “I don’t think they will,” he says. “Are you even ready to tell them?”

Dan doesn’t bother to shrug this time. His silence probably says enough.

It must, because Phil heaves a sigh. He brings their joined hands up to his mouth and brushes Dan’s fingers across his lips. 

“Think about it a bit more, okay? I promise they’ll understand.”

“How do you know?” whispers Dan. 

The corner of Phil’s mouth quirks up. “Maybe they have a bit of experience with a kid who needed time to tell them certain things,” he says. The upward jolt of his shoulder is probably meant to be more casual than it actually looks. “Trust me, I’ve known Kath and Nigel for twenty-four whole years, they won’t be cross.”

Dan’s responding, “Yeah?” comes out more like a chuckle. 

“Yeah,” says Phil. “If anything, they’ll be more cross about us not telling them we’re, like, proper more than friends now.”

Dan actually laughs then. He reaches over with his free hand to grab at Phil’s shoulder and draw him closer.

“Shut up,” he says.

Phil does, pressing their lips together and giggling into the kiss.

---

They settle into bed early that night.

Dan crawls in after Phil, tucking himself beneath the duvet, pressing his head into the crook of Phil’s neck. His fingers skim across Phil’s chest to the same rhythm as Phil’s tracing lines along his spine. 

“I think I’m gonna wait to tell your parents,” he says.

Phil hums, the sound vibrating against Dan’s ear. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says. “I want to get more used to it before I do, I think.”

“Okay,” says Phil. He turns to press a quick kiss to the top of Phil’s head. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”

Dan smiles into the bright yellow fabric of Phil’s sleep shirt. His eyes fall closed. His breathing’s gone mostly steady and his brain a little hazy when he says, “Thank you.”

He wonders if Phil knows that it’s for so much more than today when he says, “Of course.”

[scifiphan]

Pas de Deux

PART 1

summary: for ten years they’ve been friends with benefits; no messy feelings, no exclusivity, and no commitment. for ten years that arrangement was great, except dan’s hopelessly in love with his best friend and he can’t keep doing this. not when phil doesn’t love him back. 

rating: e

word count: 2.1k

author’s notes: title + the mood of this fic was inspired by the score pas de deux (it’s v pretty go give it a listen). ps: this fic does have a happy ending! + a big big thank you for the amazing @agingphangirl for beta’ing! ^w^

[read on ao3]

[d3athwish]

some people really don’t understand that when dan talked about people speculating his sexuality triggering his ptsd, he meant when people constantly would ask him if he was gay/bi/whatever, asking him about the nature of his sex life, throwing his own words and actions at him to prove he was gay, etc etc. what he didn’t mean is people on the internet talking amongst themselves about how dan looked at phil lovingly, or saying whether or not him and phil would be cute together.

some people really don’t understant that fetishizing is a whole different world from appreciating a healthy and happy queer relationship. fetishizing is when people say stuff like “omg my sinning gaybies are so hot i wonder how they fuck” which is obviously not okay. appreciating their relationship is “aw look at how dan looked at phil. how cute.” queer people are allowed to admire queer relationships, especially because there aren’t many real life examples to look up to.

some people really don’t understand that dan and phil have both explicitly stated they are okay with shipping AND fanfiction. you can think it’s weird all you want, but they apparently don’t so don’t attack the people who write it. of course there are boundaries that people should not cross when shipping and writing fanfiction; it should be handled with respect and a level of grace, and some people do not do that. but the majority of people do.

some people really don’t understand that talking about things dan and phil have put out into the public does not equal digging into their personal lives and being invasive. of course nobody should essentially stalk them to find out about the nature of their relationship, that’s a given. but talking about things they have said/done/tweeted/etc and saying “aw they’re so in love” or “they’re cute” or whatever isn’t doing that. at all.

please do not think you are high and mighty for bashing and generalizing the phandom for “fetishization” and “invading their privacy” because that is not what is going on with most of us in 2019. get rid of your “holier than thou” atitide, you do not have a moral superiority. the majority of the people within the phandom know what is okay and what isn’t because dan and phil have told us. don’t add your galaxy brained opinion on something you are misinformed about. you can have your opinion about shipping and fanfiction and whatnot, but do not actively bash the phandom when the people it’s about have allowed those things.

of course there will always be bad eggs. there will always be people who do the wrong things and are invasive. but that is not the majority of us. the majority of us know right from wrong because we listen to the things dan and phil say.

go take your brain cells somewhere else.

[loveinthebones]

YOU KINKY MOTHERFU-

Dan: "If you need a sex tip, in...certain areas that may not (may be un-?) wanted."

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN BITTEN THAT IT WOULD HURT, DANIEL?

[insomniaticality]

I’m bored so I’m writing a smutty phanfic okay

(Phil pov)

It was just like any other day. Dan was sleeping in, of course, like he always does. It was already 1 o’clock, so I figured I’d wake him up to film our next “DURR-VERS-PHURR” (As in, Dan vs Phil). I silently tiptoed into his room, ready with a hot mug of coffee for when he woke up, and froze when I walked in the door. 

In his sleep, Dan had kicked off all his blankets to the floor, and was lying there in nothing but his boxers. I felt a familiar twitching starting to begin from whenever I saw him like this, but I stifled my physical needs for now. I stepped towards him, put the hot mug of coffee on his night table, and leaned towards his face, ready to whisper his name to wake him, but realized he might feel kind of awkward if his best friend walked in on him sleeping in his underwear... So I walked over to the end of his bed to pull the blankets back over him.

As I was beginning to pull up the blankets, I accidentally glanced up. From this angle, I had an amazing view of Dan. I could see his adorable face, completely relaxed in his sleep, with his eyelids fluttering every few seconds, and his somewhat chiseled abs, visible because he was shirtless, and because he had the metabolism of a hummingbird, he never gained any weight. He was perfect. As I continued looking at the gorgeous man before me, my eyes fell past his waist. There was that twitching again, stronger now since I realized he was hard in his sleep...

Before I knew what I was doing, I reached over and tentatively touched him and rubbed my hand over the tent in his boxers. What was I doing? This was wrong. I stepped back, blinking out of the haze I had been in. Dan had grown harder from my touch, and I prayed he wouldn’t wake up. I turned to just walk out and make a new pot of coffee, when I heard him stir. I glanced behind me, expecting to see him awake, and braced myself for a flurry of questions from him, only to find he had completely removed his boxers. I glanced down at myself, feeling a strange tension, only to realize that he was causing this. My best friend. Oh god.

I guessed he had accidentally removed his underwear while turning over, so I figured I would leave before he woke up, when I saw him wrap his hand around himself. I ducked behind the door frame, in case he awoke, but continued to watch. He began pumping his hand up and down, and I fought the urge to touch myself as well. He continued this, and I continued to watch, until I heard him start to talk and moan in his sleep. At first the words were jumbled and confusing, and mixed in with unintelligible moans, but slowly the words started to take shape. 

I listened to him say useless words for a few minutes, when suddenly the words became less random and more sexual. I heard an arrangement of things ranging from: “Harder”, “Oh my god”, “Daddy”, and a bunch of groaning, when he said something as he came that made me jump back behind the wall. In a crystal clear, and also somewhat loud, voice, he said:

“Oh my god, Phil, I’m about to come. I’m about to... Oh my god, Phil!”

My lower region jumped up at least another inch when I heard that. Did he really just...? I leaned my head back into his room, to just barely make out the words: “I love you, Phil, you know that?” As he drifted back off to sleep. 

Well. Okay then.

I silently closed his door and sprinted to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and immediately shed all my clothes and ran a hot shower. I was determined to take care of my current problem and deal with Dan’s dreams later. I glanced to find myself at the hardest I had ever been. It only took me a few minutes. 

When I got out of the shower, I was surprised to find Dan wide awake, sitting at the table. I knew he hadn’t seen me in his room, so why did he look so awkward? I looked him over, to find him holding a mug of coffee. A still hot mug of coffee. A mug of coffee that I had left in his room moments before he had that wonderful dream. I was utterly screwed. 

“So... how was your sleep?” I asked, tentatively.

“Good.” Dan replied, staring directly at the table.

I decided to back off for now, praying that he couldn’t see me blushing, even though he was visibly red. I was about to say something what he suddenly mumbled a sentence.

“What?” I asked in confusion.

“I know you saw me.” He said again, clearer this time.

I saw him smirk a little as he sipped his coffee. 

“And judging by the warmth of this coffee that was on my table, you stayed to watch.” He mentioned.

I tried to come up with some sort of excuse, to make it seem like I hadn’t just ruined our friendship, but I couldn’t. Dan, surprisingly, didn’t seem to care much. He was staring at me, smirking, with his cheeks stained red from his obvious embarrassment. I couldn’t tell what kind of embarrassment, though. 

“I just..” I began, but was silenced by Dan leaning forward and placing his hand on my mouth. 

“I don’t wanna hear it. I don’t need an excuse if I didn’t mind you seeing that.”

I stared at him, wondering if he was even aware of what he had said during his “session”. He must know, right? If he said he didn’t mind me watching, what could it really hurt. He was sleeping too, he couldn’t have possibly meant much of what he said. Especially not the whole “loving me” thing. I covered my head with my hands, taking his hand from my mouth, and debated what to do. 

Before I had decided on what I was doing, I had crossed to the other side of the table and staddled Dan’s lap. He did say he didn’t mind, right? I didn’t have much to lose, anyway, all ideas of friendship were a little warped right now. Dan’s voice cracked as he started to process what was happening and he turned bright red. 

“What are you..MMPH.” I slammed my mouth onto his, kissing with the most passion I had ever dared to show. 

I was terrified.

Dan pushed my face away from his, and I was struck with the most panic I had ever felt. There was certainly no going back now, so I started to cry. Now, this wasn’t a full on sob, as I would do sometimes when I realized he would never be mine, this was simply a few scared tears. I stared Dan directly in the face and he stared back, not leaving my eyes for a single second. I tilted my head down to lean on his chest and whispered the word: “Sorry.” I felt his hand wrap around my back to pull me closer. I couldn’t believe I had made such a mistake. Maybe he was just trying to be funny and joke around, and I took it wrong? What have I done to us? What have I done to myself? I kept letting myself get caught up in my own mind, when I felt Dan’s breath on my neck. 

I heard a faint whisper: “Phil, remember when we were younger and I joked about always wanting to be the dominant one in a relationship? I wasn’t joking, I was hinting.” 

I felt myself get lifted off his lap and thrown over his shoulder. What was happening? I was unceremoniously thrown onto Dan’s bed on my back. I was suddenly aware of how cold I felt, after leaning on Dan’s chest for a while, when I was enveloped by warmth. Dan, my crush, my best friend of several years, was straddling me, on his own bed. He leaned over, breathing in my face for a few moments, before diving down, straight towards my mouth. He pulled me up by my shoulders, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling the muscles in his back rippling as he moved, pulling him closer. But it wasn’t close enough. I gently reached over and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it over his head and leaning back to admire him for a moment, when I felt a pair of hands move towards my waistline and tug my shirt over my head as well. Of course, like an idiot, I was wearing a shirt with a collar, which Dan couldn’t pull over my head. I chuckled as he attempted to sexily undo the buttons on the collar, and he sighed and gave up, laughing as he slipped his hands underneath my shirt and around the small of my back. I worked at undoing the buttons on my shirt, and gently pushed him away as I removed my shirt as well. I winked at him as I removed it, exposing my chest and low-cut jeans. He shuddered, and I got a taste of how nice it could be to be dominant. He scraped his nails over my back as he drew me closer, and continued to explore my mouth with his tongue. I entangled my tongue with his, tasting his saliva as it mixed with my own. 

He worked his hands down my chest towards my belt buckle and began to undo it, slowly removing my jeans until I was left with nothing but my boxers on, just as he had been this morning. He smirked, taking in my size and hardness with his eyes, and rubbed his thumb over my tip, causing me to gasp from the sudden touch. I decided to humour his behaviour and remove his jeans as well. I wrapped my hands around his ass, and giggled when he raised an eyebrow, then kissed him at the exact second I wrapped my hand around him too see how he would react. He gasped audibly, even though he was being stifled by my mouth. I set to removing his boxers, and kneeled back, kissing his chest as I went. I glanced up for approval, and began to pull down, placing my mouth on his tip the moment it was visible. He jerked his waist up involuntarily, clearly craving more. I wrapped one hand around him, then another, then placed my mouth on him and began to swirl my tongue. I licked every inch of him, glancing up every little while to see what had become of Dan, only to find him, every time, biting his lip to hold back a moan, staring at me. 

“You don’t have to hold back, you know.” I moaned in the sexiest voice I could manage. 

I set about getting him to at least moan once, and let my mouth widen to allow more of him in it. I hummed, so I wouldn’t gag, and deepthroated him as far as I could go, wrapping my hands around what wouldn’t fit. There. 5 Inches in my mouth, three in my hands. He was big. I swallowed, to see how he would react, and react he did. Dan jerked his head up, releasing a barely contained groan, before exclaiming:

“Phil, I’m going to...” 

I got the message and backed off, working with my hands for a moment, but I craved him even more, so I went back with my mouth, moving up and down as he began to pulse. Dan screamed as he met his release, and I was proud of myself for getting him there. I managed to swallow every last drop.

Now, I wasn’t expecting anything in return, and figured I could handle my seven and a half inch situation myself, but Dan quickly recovered and towered over me. 

“Now what did I say earlier about dominance?”

Oh no.

He tore off my underwear, quickly exposing me to the cool air. This was the first time anyone had seen me naked in ages... 

He kissed me as he wrapped one hand around me, and put his other hand in my hair, pulling my head closer to his, even though our faces were already crushed together in a passionate kiss. I gasped as he pumped his hand up and down while simultaneously playing with my hair. I was instantly addicted to him, even more than I had been in years. He began working his way down, trailing kisses down my chest as he went.

“A copycat, huh? You’re doing what I did to you.” I jokingly mentioned.

“Not quite.” Dan whispered, with a smile.

He landed a gentle kiss on my tip, instantly sending me to another world, but I was brought back when he started talking to me.

“So, have you ever tried, umm... anything, here?” Dan whispered awkwardly while grabbing my ass. 

“You know, I can’t say I have.” I replied, with full certainty and trust.

Dan’s awkward face instantly transformed into one I had never seen before, one of pure, undiluted lust. He pushed my legs apart, keeping me on my back, as I smiled up at him. 

“So you wouldn’t know how to...” He began.

I nearly screamed from the pleasure as he inserted a finger into me as he finished his sentence.

“How to.. reach....” 

He curled his finger slightly.

“here?” 

This time, I did scream and moan, all at once. Dan knew his stuff. 

He began to curl and uncurl his finger as he leaned down to suck me off. Within minutes, I reached my limit, and only had time to squeak out the word: “Dan” before I experienced the most violent orgasm of my life. My vision clouded over as I let my load into Dan’s mouth. 

I was suddenly very sleepy, even though it was still mid-afternoon, and once again, only barely heard his words: 

“I love you, Phil.”

My eyes were open in an instant, staring directly into his bottomless eyes, getting lost in his features as I uttered words I never thought I would ever be able to say to my soulmate:

“I love you too, Dan”

We refused to move for hours, cuddled in each others arms, sharing kisses and talking, and sometimes not moving at all, taking in the moment. 

“How are we gonna tell the Phandom?” Dan suddenly whispered.

“Shit” I had no clue. In fact, I still have no clue. 

(I’ve never even written fanfiction so this is probably bad. Also I’m sorry if any of my friends see this. Aimee, I’m sorry if you went through the trouble of reading this. I am tired. And also Kennedy I’m sorry)