#smoked my brain away
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You look like a pathetic whore
Mwah 💋
#mwah <3#xoxoraexoxo#haii#pay me to be cute#don’t report just block#mcbling#xoxo#xoxoxo#for the girls#answered asks#send asks#coquette#talk to me#spotify#if u think i'm pretty#pretty n pink#pretty makeup#i need moots#i miss 2014#going rabid#lana del rey#nympette#smoked my brain away#pansexual#high and happy#happy pride 🌈#kisses 💋#wlw post
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Hey hey-Life lesson kids??? Double check the block of ice (which mysteriously hasnt melted despite the box being delivered yesterday) isn't secretly dry ice.
Before you go and grab with your bare fucking hands
#owchie#im a dumbass#okay??#it was brain fog#my mind was on “Put away dog food”#and there was ice on top#I went “Oh thats cool its smoking”#“OH NO ITS SMOKING”#and then yelped like fucking wiley coyote#sunny rambles
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the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye
#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him#he never comes out the same way twice#but then again. do any of us?#anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain#its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor#too much all at once. cant art anymore#i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw#and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort#i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible.#i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen#i come back to scroll on tumblr#i feel Despair. rinse and repeat#scribble salad#is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile!#i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move#sigh... dont wanna go....#but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all!#apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle#too exhausted. the Despair is too strong#and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit
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(Frankenstein'd two asks together for the sake of previty)
I've been pretty torn between answering this ask and just doing a deep dive re-analysis post about Marineford as a whole (from Crocodile's perspective) because I feel like rereading it now as a Crocodad Truther, I could probably make a whole lot of new observations and/or read into things differently than I did last time I read it (when I was rereading for the purpose of studying the viability of Crocodad) Like there's so much to say about the whole arc and I'd include this line of thought in there anyways... But also, do I really feel like writing a giant essay like that........
I am going to start this by refering to this mini-essay I wrote like a month ago, about how Crocodile seems to have this attitude of "no crying over spilt milk". What's happened has happened, what's done is done, it's your own fault things turned out the way they did, there's no undoing any of it and you just have to continue on. And I do think that attitude would be key here to understanding Crocodile's actions in Marineford re:Crocodad
(Sidenote because this is not relevant to the rest of the post, but the reason this is about Crocodad and not CrocoUncle etc is because if Crocodile was only loosely related to Luffy it would not have the same kind of impact emotionally (for Crocodile; like there is a difference between a nephew and a son). Additionally a part of Crocodad is that it ties into Crocodile's connection with Ivankov in a really important way. If Crocodile was only loosely related to Luffy, him also being trans would kind of be like a random sidenote without being relevant to the two being family, but suddenly if Crocodile is Luffy's other biological parent, him being trans matters a lot more. Also if he's not Luffy's other dad then we'd be still stuck asking who the fuck birthed Luffy to begin with)
While Sengoku's announcement here would make for a horrific revelation to Crocodile in this situation (a revelation we never see his immidiate reaction to, which continues to be deeply sus), what would it change, really?
The little idiot child who Crocodile had attempted to murder multiple times was his own son. Sure, he might've insantly lost whatever grudge he might've held against Luffy, then what? That feeling would be one-sided, because at this point in the story Luffy hated Crocodile's guts and he knew that too. Luffy has no idea about them being related, and even if Crocodile literally walked up the kid right that second and told him the truth, what would it change? He'd still be the man who nearly nuked a million people off the face of the earth, took over a country and killed Luffy and his friends while laughing about it. Being Luffy's other dad wouldn't make him any less of a horrible asshole (if anything it might make it slightly worse 'cause you get to add shit like "child abandonment" onto his list of crimes).
Luffy came to Marineford to save Ace. Crocodile came to Marineford to kill Whitebeard. He had no reason to interfere with Luffy's quest, and with the help Luffy already was recieving from the prison escapees, the Newkama and the Whitebeard Pirates, what would Crocodile's assistance add to the mix? Would Luffy even welcome him in helping save his brother?
Luffy had his own life, a life Crocodile had not been a part of. He had no right to try to insert himself into it at this point, after all he had done to Luffy. There's no crying over spilled milk. What's done is done, you just have to move on. He should just focus on what he came to do; get his revenge and take Whitebeard's head, as planned.
Deep breaths
...Only to realize that Whitebeard is a dying old man and not worth even killing anymore, because he's not the same Primebeard whom once beat Crocodile and crushed all his dreams. Defeating Whitebeard would not give him the catharsis he came for.
And at that point, the fuck was Crocodile going to do? The revenge he wants isn't there anymore 'cause it went bad a few decades ago. And between the raging war and Doflamingo on his ass it's not like he could just sneak out without anybody noticing. He doesn't have allies (aside from Daz under him) to worry about. He only has his hatred to the World Government.
At that point, he might as well be a nuisance to the Government and assist Luffy. Even if the help wasn't welcomed, even if Luffy hated him and regardless if he knew the truth or not, helping Luffy right then and there would still be better than letting the Government have their way and kill his son right in front of him
#Moon posting#Asks#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Part of the reason I may have somewhat wanted to make that deep dive analysis was to see if I could debunk Crocodad (again)#Because my understanding of Crocs character HAS changed massively and I feel like I CAN understand what might be going through his head her#And as much as I am a Crocodad Truther I can't help but to wonder if his Weird Behaviour in Marineford COULD be explained away#And like honestly you could remove all mentions of Crocodad from this post and I still think my explanation to why Crocodile chose to...#...help Luffy would still stand. Like he has nothing else to do after WB turned out to be Not Worth It so might as well fuck with the WG#The only parts it wouldn't explain would be like. Croc's missing reaction to Sengoku's announcement.#And that look of almost horror sinking in on his face while he smokes and faces Mihawk. Like THOSE bother me#Like either Crocodile was pre-occupied thinking about other things (the well-being of his idiot son who hates him etc etc)#Or??? He had a raging hateboner for Whitebeard and had his mood ruined?????????????????#I dunno man my brain rot is bad
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Not only do I still have long Covid 4 years later it seems to be progressively getting worse and I would guess that’s essentially indefinite so that’s great
#my memory is so bad people will tell me shit I said or did that I have zero recollection of. entire text conversations I have no memory of#we smoking big brain damage in amish#I really thought it would go away or get better eventually but noooo
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…. Just so we all know this is the stage from where I need to pull my little clone portraits together
#Wip#my art#and then I will merge my sketch and paint layers together and the messing around starts for real#but FIRST I need to figure out my colours for good#haven’t struggled with them so much in a very very long time I feel like#shadows and mid tones and secondary light source and all that aaaah#I need to switch my brain off a little between commissions#I swore I was normal about that Tem gifset didn’t I?#then I stumbled into a fic where Rex picks up the horrible habit of smoking while on leave and here I am#I know I messed up something in my sketch that I will suffer to try and fix later but even when I flip it it doesn’t look TOO bad#he looks FINE in the reference window#which I will take at this point#the sketch took me as long as the other portraits from first line to colour adjustments lol#purple is giving me hell…. it’s time I run away and live out the rest of my life as a hermit away from civilization I suppose
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I Smoked Away My Brain (I'm God x Demons Mashup) - A$AP Rocky
#my art#artwork#digital art#asap rocky#I SMOKED AWAY MY BRAIN. I THINK IM GOING DUMB. COCAINE UP ON MY GUMS. I THINK THEY GOING NUMB.#naw wdym i like this song.
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Left hand smoking! I hadn't seen him do that before
#That or my little squirrel brain forgot#I just noticed in 2 interviews he was smoking to the right#The short one of him in blue and the strangeways one#He was smoking to the right#Perhaps he's trying to keep the cigarette away from Moz?#johnny
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Bikini season(//ω//)
#spotify#haii#lollipop#coquette#mwah <3#xoxo#bikini#moots?#don’t report just block#makeup#mcbling#lashes#hehe :3#happy pride 🌈#summer#summertime#cherry bikini#Spotify#pay me to be cute#attention wh0r3#smoked my brain away#sugar bae#sugarbunnies#xoxoraexoxo#pay me for my time#xoxoxo
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it's my turn to shoot you some questions >:3c
do you think tangy and fornax might get along? 👀 and if so, how would she feel about a chill hangout with them doing some fun painting, and having a big tasty meal afterwards? (since i read that she enjoys those and thought WHY NOT SQUEEZE IN BOTH.... ehehe)
Ehehehe ヾ(´▽`*)ノ☆ hiii omg
I think they could! Tangy is generally amiable with new people and the fastest way to any gals friendship OR heart is through… ok well it’s technically through the rib cage, but the saying is through the stomach. How they’d meet (meat.. 🤤) is another matter.. but that’s less important than their nice hangout TToTT
The two of them painting together omg…. ฅ(⌯͒•̩̩̩́ ˑ̫ •̩̩̩̀⌯͒)ฅ that’d be so lovely TTATT I keep rotating in a ponderous way what they’d be painting- like, scenery or a still life… or each other djfjfgkdkgkdckdla I can’t imagine they’d be painting somebody else (Tangy’s not that confident) she might get distracted asking Fornax about their adventures ‘v’ there’s so much out there to see and do it’s too much for one person…
….. the aftermath of their meal is gonna look like a war zone I get the feeling they’re both big eaters 🫢 (does Fornax know how to cook? I can’t recall 🤔) [Dw though Tangy will wash dishes 😤 she’s gotten real good at that cos it’s usually the trade off for not making the food is cleaning up afterwards]
#the hilarity of Tangy asking Fornax how much they can bench with her tail keeps occurring to me though#🥺 god if they did painting together they’d both focus on different aspects of whatever it was they were painting because… unique experiences#oughghghhhh I have to…. lie down… harder than I already am… the joys of being the only you and getting to share that with others URRRRGH#sometimes I think Tangy should be good on the grill because I’m haunted by the comedic bit#of mispelling grill and girl (as each other). so she’d be the grill girl…#one of our fc mates has recently gotten a smoker so it’s not helping. he’s been smoking so many meats and he lives too far away to SHARE.#CRUELTIES!!! I WOULD LIKE… PULLED PORK SANDWICH….#…. this got off again I forgot the actual important tags#ffxiv Tangy#ffxiv Fornax#Ask Game#there’s a loud whirring sound from my brain thinking about what Tangy would focus on in a Fornax portrait 😶🌫️#(<- that’s the steam coming from how hard I’m thinkin)
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Super heavy vent ahead in the tags
#bird chirps#vent#Talking about political stuff and suicidal ideation#But genuinely I cant anymore with this election. Im fucking terrified#Granted my dad’s a major pessimist and I think he lowkey enjoys others suffering#So his passionate rants about how we have no future and life isnt worth it if Trump wins definitely isnt helping#But holy shit Im actually terrified#Im trying to not crawl into the pit of despair but I really don’t know how life can go on worst case scenario#I cant delay my life four more years minimum for another recession/depression#I cant stay in this house and watch my rights get taken away#Theres just so much shit to be afraid of#And granted I live in a swing state. I think its still a swing state anyway since we tend to vote republican#So the campaigning here gets brutal#But it’s hard to stay positive when it seems like EVERYONE irl is so fucking pro trump#Im just praying theres a silent majority and that isnt the case#But God I cant fucking do this man#Situations where you have little to no control over the outcome are a fucking nightmare#I can vote so at least that’s something. But thats not enough to ease the anxiety#I need the outcome to be GUARENTEED and thats just not gonna happen#So I just sit here as shit gets worse and it’s harder to keep calm#And I dont have a good track record of having Safe Mental Health while in election times#So this just. Really fucking sucks#I hate when I get like this because it feels like such a major step back#And with an event THIS big its hard to push it all away as irrational and a mental health issue#Because my brain goes ‘Well LOGICALLY you WONT be able to go on so this is a correct way to think’#I hate it so fucking much#If Trump wins Ill pick up smoking or something. Fuck it#Deciding on an action like THAT is still less destructive than full on suicide plan#But I just. I cant fucking do this#Can I teleport to 2028 and just pray everythings okay
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A$AP Rocky feat. Imogen Heap & Clams Casino -
I Smoked My Brain Away (I’m God x Demons Mashup)
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#sunny and hot outside today#rather quiet except for the birdsong#i know it’s august but it feels like summer#just woke up from a sleep paralysis nap lmao#dreamt i was too high to move#but people/ my phone kept informing me i was failing all my classes again 😂😂#and i was so guilty cuz i’d spent all my time drinking and smoking instead of studying#not what happened irl btw#i actually still tried when i was at uoft i was simply too unwell for the workload 😂 brain getting confused#imma shower wash the dishes get lunch then practice bass#the audio interface i ordered is awesomesauce but i’m completely broke the rest of this month 🥲#also bass is really difficult#i guess starting anything is#picking it up is supposed to be easy compared to other instruments but i only have piano to compare to#and i’ve been playing piano since i was four#mostly i’m just frustrated i’m not good at it right away#like usual#told my mates id actually learn to play over the break so i gotta lock in#still absolutely shite#band never gonna happen at this point#new school term starting soon i can’t wait to have a proper schedule to follow again#and i wanna hang out with my friends#idk what to do about The Issue but i suppose there’s no issue#life shall proceed and we’re still friends#who give a shit#feelings are internal and incorporeal and can stay that way how tf they gonna screw anything up unless u let them#think things r gonna be ok#smiley face emoji
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bring back youtuber AUs pls. i need to read a fic about someone anonymously posts on reddit looking for advice about their troubles with love or something and the person of their affections, who is on a channel like smosh pit or something, reads it and gives advice and they’re like “i totally get it” all vague and stuff while thinking about the person and said person is like freaking the fuck out. bonus points is the initial someone is also on the channel, and even more bonus points if the audience already ships them but as like a mostly inside joke but there are people who are hardcore about it. i eat it up.
#kind like this klapollo fic i read a while back?#like in vibes like klavier has a podcast and apollo sends anonymous letters bc there’s like a segment on his podcast#and combine this with like any social media au ever#specifically though i’m thinking the jegulus exes au by sebbianas#if any of those words mean anything to you#you know what i mean#i’m honestly just requesting a very specific tailored fanfiction order#my heart is thinking of wolfstar too like all the main ideas are there#i just need this hypothetical fanfiction in my brain to be real. no effort#writing prompt#fanfiction prompts#fic prompt#writing ideas#fanfiction ideas#fanfic ideas#fic ideas#feel free to write whatever you want to this though i’m just musing#the balls in your court now tumblr#disappears with a shitty smoke bomb. you can very clearly see me run away
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Man those people on your ‘why are you straight edge’ poll are really showing their disdain for people who engage with any sort of drug… if I may add, I voted for having a medical restriction (my liver is failing thank youuuu immune system) AND I also take prescription opiate medication to help with pain. Every time I take my painkillers on days where I’m not working so that I can enjoy my hobbies I have complicated feelings about it because anti opiate rhetoric is just EVERYWHERE and it’s like… I just want to have a nice day. Getting over the ‘oh but it can be ADDICTIVE’ stigma is so important and it’s really not different just because I have a prescription. People who are so nasty about drug use for recreation are so stressful to me.
Ikr it's like people have such disdain for addicts, and drug users in general. I get upset about this because while I personally am a very casual user and I spend most of the time sober and am self assured so I can walk people being dicks about it off, but I know addicts and their lives are hard enough without all the stigma piled on top of it. I just wish everyone could be addiction neutral and pro harm reduction but they're so moralistic about it. I wasnt the politest I could have been about people not drinking and having sex because I was trying to keep it light and I know people take things like this really serious and it kinda backfired.
But like I totally know what you mean about the opioid thing. I really think that our society could benefit from being a little more addiction neutral, because yeah sometimes substance dependency does ruin your life, but I'm neurodivergent and I've met people where I think that doing life with drugs is better for them. Like you raise a great point about opioids. They're dangerous and addictive but if you're in pain because of a disability you need pain management. It's not really an option if you want to lead a normal life. There's a lot of heroin addicts who got that way because they needed pain management and their doctors refused them on the basis that they might become addicted, but taking a daily pill to improve your life, while it may be illegal depending on the substance, isn't bad. I bring up my own neurodivergence because I've heard of the same thing with ADHD and stimulants. Most people who have an ADHD diagnosis can get an Adderall prescription, but undiagnosed people and people falling through insurance cracks will sometimes turn to the street version. And it's like those people, both the ones with a script and the ones who are self medicating, should not be forced to live a substandard life because of someone else imagines there's some purity to a life without drugs. The goal should be to get those people the drugs they need in the safest way possible.
And I come down really easy, to the point where I forget to take prescription meds and don't experience any ill effects, but I have a friend who experiences a come down from their adhd meds thats not unlike the comedown ive seen from my other friend who's a meth user, and this friend with the ADHD meds can't function without them. But when the doctor and the pharmacist get them their meds on time they live a perfectly happy fulfilling life. That's what I mean when I say I'm addiction neutral. Most people who get addicted didn't just pick up heroin or whatever one day for shits and giggles. When I fuck around with "highly addictive" substances I make sure I'm in a good place and it's not a problem to drop them. People who develop problems are usually either they're escaping from something or self medicating. The goal for society can't be to never do drugs we've had drugs literally for longer than we've been humans.
I've heard second hand of a study which I haven't gone looking for, I might, because as you can tell this is a bit of a soap box for me, where they gave Heroin addicts a prescribed dose of heroin like you would pick up Percocet for chronic pain at a pharmacy, and because those addicts weren't shooting up mystery amounts and worrying where they were going to get their next hit from so they didn't start rattling and all the other things that make addicts lives hell, they were able to start doing things like holding down jobs. That study should have been a game changer. I want addicts to be able to live, and selfishly I want to be able to go to the drug store when I'm bored and say "one mdma high no fentanyl please" and leave with something to spice up the afternoon. That's like, not a moral failing on my part even though I'm not self medicating I'm just having fun.
The way the war on drugs has ruined drugs, which like, genuinely drugs are sort of magical when you think about it. Not just the fun ones either. Like when I was a baby I had a really bad bladder infection that absolutely would have killed me if I had had that same situation just like 100 years ago, but my mom was able to force a pill down my throat and it went away. Since then I've probably had at least a dozen little things like that that would have killed me dead if someone hadn't invented a chemical that could interact with my body and make it genuinely not a problem. and the fact that we have that for things like chronic pain and we're too afraid to use it because of stigma is so insane. Like god forbid people get high.
#drug posting.#my soap box#im sorry you activated my trap card anon#this isnt even getting into how hallucinogens can be a genuinely spiritual experience.#not everyone can do them obviously ive had some people on that poll who said their doc told them not to smoke weed due to a family history.#...of schizophrenia and that totally makes sense brains are weird and you wouldn't want to fuck up the chemical balance if its precarious#but also I can do them and i really really like them#i talked to Yuggsothoth and i want to do it again some day#i think thats beautiful#like people have used hallucinogens in Religious ceremonies for centuries and i understand why#what is the reason to take that away? other than bigotry?
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#shutup sensitive#like i feel the need to feel physical but i cant leave my bed and im not#i cant do any of that rn except something light like itingbay myself but ??? idk what THAT is i should just obliterate my brain with thc? y#yes yes#im so#weak hahaha how do j be more destructive wo killing myself or hurting my loved ones#how do i hurt me without hurting me toooo much yknow#ding ding ding! take away your emotions with the grass#putting down the keyboard and picking up the lighter#delete later#ive been so good for so long#i can keep being good#so i will bc everyone knows its normal for me to be high but im gonna smoke soooo much#im gonna forget i was sad
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