#smite blogs

[objectumnonsense]

thinking this evening about robots (as usual of course) but specifically those robots who have no genitals, nor desire for them, nor really any way to experience pleasure in a "human" way. maybe they're work bots not made with sex in mind, or building-sized supercomputers with no sense of touch outside of user interface areas.

thinking about intimacy with a body (or bodies) that love in a slightly different language. metal hands holding warm flesh, digging in, with the power to tear away but the care and restraint not to. a comforting voice that surrounds and whispers sweet nothings while rooms of servers and screens hum and pulse with want want want.

will you pry away its chassis and adore its insides the same way it adores yours? tangle your fingers in its wires, pull them a little when you bring your hand away to caress its face? it's the trust it takes for it to let you in so close to its heart that makes you shiver. trace the grooves in its body, so precise and intentional in their placement; find the place where it falls apart and speed up the process.

listen to its voice glitch and skip while it tries to relay what you're doing to it. hear the mechanical keening when you reach its central processing arrays, every brush of your skin on its metal sending its thoughts into a hazy, static-filled loop of touch touch touch.

you're who gets to see it like this. who gets to make it fall apart. it's a thrill like nothing else.

[prokopetz]

To the fairest. 🍏

[loveology-doodles]

those pokes are moning

[alolapokemon]

Tapu Bulu is the most bro of all the tapus like "you build in MY sacred spaces? I will smite you".

The greatest ally in alolan cultural preservation.

[yingren]

i'm awake and i think it's draft / inbox day today. on a completely unrelated note: i need ren's cat infra to scratch more people.

[justvisitingthisplanet]

Skinning progress pics. Definitely not a taxidermy quality skin job, I was just hacking away trying to get as much flesh off as possible in the shortest amount of time. Didn’t have the energy to try to cut the atlas bone off, let alone rip the lower jaw off. I’m okay with that, I’ve got the time to let it go naturally and this is a personal project. No commission crunch time here!

[nerdyqueerr]

This is Porter's energy to me

[didderd]

hey, just a heads up, i'm gonna start blocking people without any indication of their age in their bio or pinned. i don't have the energy anymore to scroll through all the blogs that follow to sus out children.

if you follow 18+ blogs, please add some indication of age in you're bio or pinned!!!

it doesn't have to be your exact age, just something that lets us know if you're an adult or not.

[lavender-sub-boy]

This is what your videos and pics do to me btw 🥺

[scribesofcalamity]

Dietrich opening his mail: >:C

(He'd still eat the steak)

[y-rhywbeth2]

So I had a dream that I was a theological scholar trying to piece together the history and timelines of the dead three, including their ascension as mortals and rise to power and naturally upon learning that they were actually currently in faerun and not their own planes, i decided the best way to do this was to….hunt them down and interview them myself. I woke up shortly after finding myrkul so the dream didn’t actually go very far but now I’m wondering just HOW MUCH of the dead three’s history actually IS common knowledge?

And also how do you think the different edge lord losers would react to the request for an interview? Who would lie through their teeth and tell the best story that would make them seem more powerful than the other two? Who would kill me because how dare you even speak to me? And so on lol

From what I know: What is common knowledge about the Dead Three is the aims of their faith (domination of the living, violence and murder, and dominion of the dead) and the story of how they broke into Jergal's house and demanded his throne and then they had to draw straws to decide who got what portfolio (this story is also apparently propaganda covering up the fact that they got there because Jergal put strings on them and shoved them into godhood or something, and at least one of them (Bane), if not all three, was already long dead by this stage - no mortals know that one). Nobody can actually agree on the date of when the Dead Three ascended, and there are apparently several conflicting timelines for it in-universe.

What mortals know about the gods is always a mess of conflicting propagandas and rumours - pick your poison. There are stories that say Shar and Bane are siblings (they're canonically not, but the story persists). There are stories that say Bane had a thing with Loviatar's sister, but there's also lore that suggests that Bane ascended after the fall of Netheril (and thus after Kiputytto died... unless he was fucking the original goddess of plague as a mortal...). 267 DR is named the 'Year of Bane's Shadow' but nobody can agree why: it's either the year the Dead Three ascended to godhood or the year Bane fucked Iyachtu Xvim's mother (Xvim was born long after that year, so if that's true then Bane basically put the lady's pregnancy on pause until he felt like having a son and switched the embryonic development back on). Or maybe it's neither, who knows.

'Who would lie through their teeth?' All three of them. Lying to make yourself look better than everybody else is the gods' day jobs (alongside the usual making the concept you embody spread through the world and etc).

Deities are generally comfortable with mortals - or at least, their priests - researching them and their origins, but they do demand that whatever information you spread paints them in nothing but positive light. Stories about being some powerful being from the dawn of time are vastly preferred over anecdotes about their mundane mortal lives, even if the former is a lie. Scholars who uncover more truth than the deity is comfortable with can expect smiting.

'Such sages may be smitten with divine fire or a wasting, wizening curse, struck blind, or scared by visiting servitors of the gods (think of the three Spirits who visit Scrooge in A CHRISTMAS CAROL) who demand that the sage recant, in print, offering instead THIS approved version - or suffer the fatal consequences of failing to do so.'

Gods also direct their followers to hunt down and destroy all record of this 'sacrilege' to ensure that only the stories of the deity the god approves of exist.

The key to getting a god's attention is to show that you're a) useful, b) interesting/amusing, and c) lots and lots of valuable offerings. Sacrifices, prayer, and convincing other people to worship them. You need to be more valuable alive than dead - especially when talking to the Dead Three.

I think you'd have the hardest time interviewing Bhaal, in large part because you'd have to find him first and he's a god-level rouge who doesn't want to be found: from observation he doesn't seem to like talking, aims to be as laconic as possible, and doesn't enjoy being perceived (look at the 'artwork' and tremble in fear/awe, not at the artist it seems). There's also the fact that he'll really, really want to kill you and might fuck up his will save not to give in to the urge to kill you (or not bother rolling at all). If you want to interview Bhaal I recommend offering him a really creative and skilfully executed murder-sacrifice first, it might content/impress him enough to talk to you. You want Bhaal in his 'cold and ruthlessly calculating' moods, not the violent rampage mood.

Taking into consideration what's been said about his personality and having played a game where you do get to chat with Myrkul, I'd say he's the easiest to interview and the least impulsive and violent. He loves to talk about himself. ('In everything you do you glorify me...') He haunts people's nightmares, he sends avatars to crash funerals to make sure people pay attention to him... Myrkul enjoys attention and sometimes finds hubristic mortals amusing, in a cold sadistic way. Show suitable fear and reverence: 'Myrkul is a proud, vain being; style is important to him.' Also he's probably going to dig out all the emotional damage he can find and throw it back into your face for the joy of seeing you in pain. Enjoy the psychic damage.

Bane's somewhere in the middle. He loves bragging and peacocking, but he doesn't need the validation of a being he considers as far beneath him as a random mortal. He can be calculating and pragmatic, but he can also be an impulsive murderhobo (which is also how Bhaal is described, curiously). There is a chance he'll snap your neck without breaking stride as he straight walks past you. Far more willing to manifest than Bhaal, but still rarely seen in avatar form and he has levels in rogue and wizard, so tracking him down if he doesn't want to be seen may be a challenge. You might well be talking to him through intermediaries. Uhhh... try conquering a nation and providing loads of sacrifices to get his attention or something, I guess. Bane seems to be the hornier of the three, so maybe dress sexy idk? I don't know what his type is, but there's rumours he's into Loviatar so fetish goth style and sadism seems to appeal. Also moustaches, looking at Fzoul and Bane's uncharacteristic attachment to that particular member of his Chosen. Loviatar is blonde, and Fzoul is often depicted as blond - maybe bleach your hair if that's not your natural shade.

[shmowder]

just fucked around and found out

[leodanbrock]

trying something super elaborate for a Justice project because i woke up in a cold sweat but the french debuff really getting me on some of these

[humming-pokemon-helpers]

Hey Rotomblr how do you date.

Like. I have no idea how I got this date. But what do I do.

Is this when I'm supposed to wear a dress and be feminine and pretty? Or is she into more masculine people and I should be wearing a decent shirt and pants? Should I be covering up all of these scars? I mean, she's already seen them, but maybe she won't like how they look in person, or maybe it's a bad idea to go out to a coffee shop as me, and not just "Vanilla the normal human", but then again, maybe that's what she likes?

What was I even like back as a kid that she remembered me so well? I really hope she's not still expecting some cool criminal runaway that breaks into homes... Because I am so the opposite of that now, but then again she's had to have seen more about me, right?

I wonder if she knows about the Galar League, or the Cresses, or me being Champion Rank, or this blog... arc, Cheri, I hope you're not reading this I'm a mess.

And then there's what to do after grabbing coffee, if things go well (miraculous outcome, really)... Do most people just ask for a PKMNSnap, or a Luminstagram? Is it rude to go straight to texting? Should we go somewhere else after if it does go well? ...Is the ferris wheel way too forward? Is hand-holding too much?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry to anybody reading this absolute breakdown of professionality. Just...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[d3rpydoods]

🤡

[director-yomi-hellsmile]

Perpetually pissed off and tired transmasc Frostdawn you'll always be in my heart. Make him hate literally everybody after the events of ASC. Make him start abusing substances