#smh amatonormativity

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

help i saw a spoiler the couch is NATALIA???

[knifearo]

the agony of writing my favorite ships and seeing them as completely aromantic/queerplatonic/lovequeer but then ship culture gets ahold of them and suddenly it's ALL about. fucking. valentine's day :( this is why i never post my ship fics smh

anywaysssssss that was an excuse for me to come onto your asks and thank you for existing bc any time i feel slightly unenthusiastic about being aro i just. look through your posts and my day gets better <3 also your poetry is stunning and you're just overall very cool :)

dude cause here's the thing i love reading fanfic... a pairing enjoyer even... but GOD people are fucking weird about when you make characters aspec. anyway i think we should all be writing more aspec characters. together we can redefine relationships one day at a time through the ultrapowerful medium of internet fanfiction /j

(similar but unrelated gripe. godddd nothing has me rolling my eyes harder than bitches putting unearned love confessions in fanfic. amatonormativity does a lot of awful things societally but i think perhaps the worst is having a perfectly good author write a perfectly good fic only to end it with a total mood change of "i love you..." "i love you too..." they would not fucking say that actually!!!! denormalize love confessions there's no fucking reason for those guys to be using the l word like that. let them live)

u r always always welcome to stroll on in to the ask box whenever you please i love to have you here :) took me a while to answer this (<— guy who is terrible at answering asks in a reasonable time span) but! a delight to see and i'm so happy that this is a nice space for you <3 i love love love being aro it's one of the best parts of my life and i am so delighted to have the chance to share that with people. together! we can spread aro joy and delight in the beauty of a world where we are aromantic. you're SO sweet though ab my poetry thank you so much!!!! i am constantly in a state of "i need to write more poetry about aromanticism" and you know what. i need to write more poetry about aromanticism. very very flattered that you think i'm cool <3 sending affection your way, i hope you're enjoying the holiday season if you celebrate anything! xoxoxo

[gladiolidiaries]

i’m crying laughing at the ask saying women view george as gay bc that’s so fucking true it doesn’t matter what sexuality he actually has when all the cis straight women who run across him clock him as such in 0.5 seconds. poki’s reactions on banter were so spot on

as an ace person i think it would be funny if dnf continued to exist in this unassailably ambiguous grey zone because like. how many collective hours have people spent debating What’s Going On? i want that number to go up 📈

thinking about george’s ace vibes or lack thereof: i would like to offer up aro or demiromantic as alternative options to consider as well. the way he was deconstructing the societal pressure around kids feels more of a romantically associated than sexuality thing to me. idk it feels familiar

i think dnf right now is either a romantic friendship or textbook queerplatonic. they live together, do taxes together, and put their lives on hold for each other. would they ever think to put their dynamic in those terms? unless wilbur confided in george about his aromantic feelings, fuck no lmao. i guess i never doom about whether dnf is “real” or not bc what i see is fascinating enough for me. why’s it got to be romantic to be real anyways? does it even matter? challenge your amatonormativity smh /s

Actually such a based anon, interesting perspective. I agree that dooming can be silly when what they have is already so interesting but we just haven't seen a lot of it lately so I get why people end up dooming.

[ailithnight]

🙄 *smh* Just say you hate single people why don't you. Since clearly ya think they don't need or deserve to have lives outside of their homes.

This person prolly just wanted to treat themself to a nice meal they didn't have to cook themself. An here you are bemoaning the "tragedy" of their mere existence because it doesn't meet your amatonormative expectations.

[journeysfable]

You asked if we had Amatonormativity in Brazil, I didn't even know this was a thing, but I would say it depends... But there's was once I've started talking to a boy in my class but then I started feeling really uncomfortable to do so with people around me or even mention because some would push into something bullshit like "oh, you like him?" and it was so annoying. So I would say, yes, depending of the case there is

Ok thanks for the info :D

Oof, been there. Most of my friends end up being boys for some reason and my mom would always be like "aww she has a crush" :/ And one time I talked about wanting to visit a friend in LA and my aunt asked if I had a boyfriend there. Because that's the only reason to visit a friend in another state ig? smh

[eleiyaumei]

Things that keep me sane/from having an emotional breakdown during my EB replay/recording

appearances of Souji, Shinpachi and Shiranui

skipping info dumps and other historical stuff (I'm glad I'm only recording the romance ^^')

imagining Souma and Iba as Sakamaki Kanato and Yagami Light respectively (I did the opposite to get through Kanato's route in Haunted Dark Bridal and that was...interesting. Kaji Yuki really was underutilized in Hakuouki, his potential wasted smh...)

listening to Kazama while not reading the translation nor trying to understand what he's saying

Ono Daisuke's voice

not reading Chizuru's inner monologue when her thoughts and feelings are spiraling downwards (e.g. in Harada's route)

giving myself little tasks, like finding out how characters address each other/Chizuru or counting gendered statements

pretending/HCing that certain characters are queer to escape the cishetero- and amatonormativity of the franchise (Sannan is aroace that's why the romance in his route doesn't work - it's not because of the bad writing, ha...ha... But seriously, let Sannan be aroace, don't force a romance on him, please.)

distracting myself with videos or books

[aroacecatto]

"...sadly he does not end up with someone in the end..." (in reference to a book character)

shut up man, shut up. why the fuck is it a sad thing to not end up with someone in the end. you can be happy and fulfilled and everything people say you get from being with someone, without someone. not being with someone is not a sad thing.

[wormsslime]

#SGLFDKGDKFHSSKH#this is correct#but you know what WOULD solve it#violent kismesitude between faith and spike#look all im saying is that fandom has TRULY disregarded the power of a hate-based competitive romance in recent years#get the amatonormativity out of your ears and let characters have long-term fulfilling sexual rivalries#which are based in simultaneous mutual disdain and respect#the main problem then becomes buffy being the worst hinge known to mankind#which is probably unsolvable bless her heart#theyd start trying to kill each other over feeling unloved by buffy and she'd be like NOOO thats WRONG instead of getting in the cuck chair#wouldnt recognize it as a sexual outlet at all smh

soooooo true bestie ur brain and meat are massive

buffy loves faith and buffy loves spike but she could NOT date them both at the same time. you must understand. these are the 2 neediest most vindictive most self-hating people on the planet. their response to feeling unloved by buffy is to start killing people. i don’t think polysecure is gonna solve this one guys

[faggot-friday]

Are you texting your boyfriend?

~the crosswalk guy, because I checked my phone for all of two seconds (and it was Tumblr anyways)

[layalu]

Noé here to tell you that you're awesome and deserving of your own love <3

[trisockatops]

Me: Hey, your wording on [x] is a little iffy and gives [bad implication]. It's important to watch what our wording means in the larger sphere of things, especially when posting publicly for anyone to take in.

Stubborn user: *While misidentifying me even though I've explicitly identified myself in context to their post* I'm not under any obligation to represent [x] group.

Me: When the fuck did I say you were? You can represent yourself while still watching your wording??? Interestingly enough, even words said in ignorance can have a larger impact. You can talk about your situation while recognizing it's not the only situation.

[corvidcall]

sMh youre just bringing up amatonormativity in order to distract from your own obvious anti-fat bias. dont think i dont see the way youre bending over backwards to defend the inherent superiority of Some Thin Woman over a fat queen!!!!

A Moment’s Peace? We’ll See About That

[olderthannetfic]

It's completely reasonable to ask people not to tag your art as ship.

I'm a proshipper and I don't like people tagging my art with wrong or irrelevant tags. Sometimes this applies to people tagging platonic works as ship (as if platonic intimacy doesn't exist, amatonormativity smh). Talk about how shippy the art looked on your private shipping discord all you want, but it's disrespectful to insist TO THE CREATOR that the work is romantic.

You shouldn't tag as ship if the work has "don't tag as ship" on it the same way you shouldn't tag "naruto" on art of some other blonde anime boy who is NOT naruto. It's just rude. Anyone who does tihs deserves to get blocked.

--

Well, the question is what tumblr tags are. Public commentary for the OP? Organization for the reblogger's blog?

I stalk my activity page, but people are often surprised when I spot their tag commentary even now.

[teaah-art]

@sundaralekhan Day 5 : Pride - Vishvaroop

Vishvaroop (alt: Visvarupa/Vishwarup) is a concept usually found in Vaishnavism where the God with a captial G is depicted as a being with infinite limbs and infinite heads. Since Vaishnavism's patron deity is Vishnu, it assumes that this ultimate form is the Narayan or Vishnu himself. While the Vishvaroop iconography is unique to Vaishnavism, other sects do also acknowledge the existence of an overarching deity/spiritual energy and conflate the identity of the said deity with the patron deities of their sect - Shaivism assumes this to be Shiva, Shaktism assumes this to be Shakti, etc. But the idea remains the same - there exists an ultimate spiritual energy/form that has no identity, is formless, is senseless, and yet, contains all identities, all forms, all senses and all that there is in this world.

And so here is my version of a Pride Vishvaroop - a symbolic culmination of all gender and sexual identities. The body, limbs, and faces are all either canon LGBTQ+ rep within Hinduism or queer coded characters and people I find representation in as a queer South Asian/Hindu myself. Hinduism is full of queer rep. But I didn't know all that or realize this until a little while ago and I wish I did know about it growing up! I wish I knew how the amount of gender nonconformity, sexual fluidity, or simply a disregard for the gender binary my own culture holds. A lot of it actually lies in plain sight but colonization of the culture paired with heteronormativity, allonormativity, and amatonormativity all shroud the stories in thick smoke. Regardless, we are queer, we have always been here and will always be here! Happy Sundaralekhan Pride Day!

An elaborate list of which characters/stories/people went into the Pride Vishvaroop under the cut because this post is already too long smh. Believe it or not, this is still after a significant amount of editing so if you have any questions regarding any of the stories, feel free to pop in my ask box!

Body

Ardhanareeshwar : Unlike making the prime face of my Vishvaroop as Vishnu, I chose Ardhanareeshwar as my front/body. Ardhanareeshwar is the combined form of both masculine and feminine energies. The term is a compound Sanskrit word which loosely translates to Half Woman (Male) God (Ardh/अर्ध : Half, Nari/नारी : Woman, Eeshwar/ईश्वर : God (masc form)). Ardhanareeshwar is traditionally shown as a fusion of Shiv as the male/masc half and Shakti in the form of Parvati, Shiva’s consort, as the fem/female half. I retained Shiva as the masc half, but the female half here is Bahuchara Mata - the patron deity of certain third gender communities in South Asia (details in point 3). Ardhanareeshwar signifies that feminine and masculine energy are inseparable. That they are two sides of the same coin. Ardhanareeshwar isn't 'part male, part female', they contain all gender identities and none at the same time.

Shiv/Shiva - The Masc Half : Shiv is the epitome of manliness/masc energy in Hinduism. However, my reasons for retaining him in my Ardhanareeshwar goes beyond that. Shiv usually stays loyal to his prime consort, Shakti, with one known exception - Mohini. Mohini is the feminine form of Vishnu, a canonically male god. While most Shiv-Mohini escapades happen when Vishnu is in Mohini form, there are instances where Shiv-Vishnu relationship may have happened while Vishnu retained his masc form (See Mohini and Ayyappan sections below).

Bahuchara Mata - The Fem Half : Bahuchara Mata is the patron deity of a majority of Third Gender communities in western India. All Hindu goddesses are derivatives of Shakti - the feminine spiritual energy and Bahuchara Mata is no exception. Bahuchara Mata may have first emerged as a folk deity. Tales vary, but she is known to have castrated and turned AMAB folk into women. And so, various sects of Third Gender community - a gender nonconforming community of South Asia which has a majority of AMAB folk sees her as their patron deity. Bahuchara Mata (and Iravan, see below) are here as a shoutout to the Third Gender community which have been at the frontlines of queer activism in South Asia and are a marginalized group of people. From undoing systemic gender oppression with roots in British colonialism to getting homosexuality decriminalized in independent India, Third Gender communities have always been and continue to speak up for the right to gender freely and love whoever and however one wants.

I couldn't have possibly drawn infinite limbs and faces, but try to give the impression that they do exist here. The hands that are well drawn

Faces

Note : Fem/Masc in the caption below are simply identifiers for the sides. The faces aren't constrained to the gender binary, regardless of which side they were drawn on.

Fem Side :

Abhijeet-Chandra-Shravan : An interesting thing about Hinduism is that everything in nature is a god - unlike Greek myths where gods are in-charge of things in nature. And so, moon is also a god and his name is Chandra/Chandr/Som. An interesting thing about Sanskrit is that everything has a gender - animate or inanimate, living or non-living, concrete or abstract. And so, Chandra is a male. Chandra also has 27 consorts which is also not unusual for Hinduism since examples of polygamy are abundant. These 27 partners of the moon are 27 stars (nakshatras) which play a role in timekeeping in the Hindu calendar and act as a Zodiac equivalent for the luni-solar calendar that Hindu Astrology follows. What is interesting though, is that if you look at the names of all the 27 nakshatras, you will find some undoubtedly male names (again, things are very gendered in Sanskrit so it is easy to infer gender info from just the name). Take Shravan for instance. Shravan is one of the 27 children of Daksha who married Chandra and is the one after whom the month of Shraavan/Saavan is name (currently ongoing!). Shravan is actually three stars in the Aquila constellation - Altair, Beta Aquilae, and Gamma Aquilae. Shravan is undisputedly a male name, the female equivalent is 'Shravani' (Srabani, a Bengali female Shravan equivalent is a very common female name!). And yet, most contemporary interpretation on the matter doesn't really address this and keeps referring the nakshatras as Chandra's 27 'wives'. This is highly likely because of the increasing dominance of Hindu Astrology in dictating modern narratives re:iconography of celestial objects and the fact that Shravan's original symbolic purpose has been watered down to mere divination and timekeeping only for the said divination. But things get more complicated if you look at Abhijeet. Abhijeet (the star Vega) was used in the Hindu Lunar calendar as a buffer to account for things like leap years. It's purpose became obsolete after the Greek Zodiac merged with the Lunar calendar to form a Lunisolar calendar. With it's lost purpose in both timekeeping and divination, Abhijeet's stories also became obsolete. But Abhijeet was (is?) indeed Chandra's partner, though it is unclear if they were ever married or if Abhijeet is also Daksha's child. And so, Abhijeet (blue face, Vega is a blue star), Chandra (white face), and Shravan (orange-bluish face also symbolic of the star colours) are up here.

Shikhandi : Shikhandi was the prince of the Panchal kingdom in Mahabharat. He was the reincarnation of Amba, a Kashi princess who died swearing vengeance on Bhishm, the prince of the Hastinapur kingdom at the time. But we are not talking about Amba here, we are talking about Shikhandi. Shikhandi was born AFAB and transitioned into a man later in life. While the reason for Shikhandi's transitioning is often conflated with Amba's revenge - that Amba could only fight in a battle and kill Bhishm if she was born as a man, there are also tales that the sole reason Amba reincarnated into Panchal was because Panchal did not discriminate on the basis of gender when teaching how to fight, unlike Amba's home kingdom of Kashi. So I do like to think that Shikhandi's transition was a decision he made because he wanted to. He did become the reason for Bhishm's demise btw! Truly lived his life to the fullest.

Draupadi : In a culture full of stories of polygyny (men marrying multiple wives), Draupadi-Pandava marriage is a rare example of polyandry (woman married to multiple husbands). Modern Mahabharat retellings almost always try to play this off as Draupadi's "suffering" or that she had no choice but to. But what if she wasn't forced to? What if she was happy with her five husbands? What if she was also okay with her husband having other consensual partners? There is nothing wrong with that just like there is nothing wrong or forced about all those polygyny stories! Draupadi was one hell of a woman and when a certain someone did humiliate her, she pledged to never tie her hair again until she acquires the blood from the certain someone's thighs to wash her hair with. She was more than capable and self reliant to not be fooled or coerced or live a life of 'continued suffering'. (Side note : Draupadi and Shikhandi are siblings)

Bhagirath : Bhagirath's claim to fame is probably from his successful efforts to bring Ganga (Ganges deification) to Earth from the Heavens. But that is not why he is here. A number of Bengali scriptures mention Bhagirath as the child of two mothers, the most prominent source being the Krittivasi Ramayan from the 15th Century CE. And this isn't a case of foster parents btw! Bhagirath's lineage, the Ishvaku dynasty, was prophesied to be Ram's lineage - the hero of Ramayan and an incarnation of Vishnu. In the Krittivasi Ramayan, Dilip, king of the Ishvaku dynasty and Bhagirath's predecessor dies without an heir. But having an heir was important for the prophecy of Ram's birth to be fulfilled! And so, Shiv orders two of Bhagirath's widows to have sex and bear a child, which is how Bhagirath is born. This version came about in the 15th Century, much later than the Valmiki Ramayan. There is no way to confirm authenticity of it - the 16th century Tulsidas Ramayan is deemed 'authentic' enough to be read during prayers so why not the Krittivasi Ramayan which is one century older? Krittivasi Ramayan may have also absorbed folk beliefs leading to deviations from Valmiki Ramayan but I do see Bhagirath and his parentage as valid queer rep.

Iravan/Aravan : Draupadi and the Pandavas had a setup where another Pandav should not intrude when one brother is spending time with Draupadi. Arjun broke the rule and barged into Yudhishthir's quality Draupadi time. As an act of penance, Arjun exiled himself to a year of celibacy and left the palace..... though he didn't quite remain celibate. He met the Nag princess Ulupi and had a child with her. Iravan was this child. Versions differ but Iravan died as a sacrifice in a ritual to guarantee the Pandavas victory in the Kurukshetra War. Iravan's wish was to marry a woman before he dies but no woman would marry a dying man. And so, as a reward for his sacrifice and to honour his last wish, Krishna turned into Mohini (Vishnu's fem form, see below) and married Iravan. Iravan became a folk deity in South India and the patron deity of the South Indian Third Gender Community, the Alis or Aravanis (please correct me if I'm using a slur and you find it offensive). In the 18 day festival of Koovagam in Tamil Nadu, Third Gender folks re-enact Krishna/Mohini's marriage to Iravan.

Ayyappan: Also known as Hariharasudan, Ayyappa is the progeny of Shiv and Vishnu in his Mohini form. However, Ayyapa's name(s) reiterate him having two fathers - Hari (Vishnu) and Hara (Shiv). The term 'Ayyappa' can also be broken into Ayyan - a Malyali word for 'father', and Appa - the Tamil word for 'father', reinstating the '2 fathers' parentage. Whether or not Vishnu was Mohini at the time of Ayyappa's conception or birth is unclear but there are definitely indications of an mlm relationship. Remember, modern labels don't travel well in time or across cultures so fitting 'Harihara'/Shiv-Mohini union may be difficult but it was certainly non heteronormative.

Masc Side :

Krishna : Which is gayer? All of LGBTQ+ community or whatever Krishna has going on? Tbh, I'm only half joking. Krishna is the 8th incarnation of Vishnu and gets Vishnu's 'I turn into Mohini sometimes' power. Krishna is famously poly and a womanizer but there are also many openly mlm and queer coded relationships that Krishna is shown to be in (See Uddhav below, Iravan above). Krishna truly personifies (deifies?) the fluidity of gender and sexuality.

Uddhav : Uddhav is often written as Krishna's "best friend". Heavy double quotes there. Uddhav was of the same clan as Krishna and was with Krishna at the time of his death. Krishna left his dying message and a prophecy for the fall of their clan with Uddhav and tasked Uddhav to take to news to the Gopis of Gokul - Krishna's other "female best friends" (girlfriends.....?) from a young age. Uddhav bears Krishna's message and has a dialogue with the Gopis about how their love for his Madhav is different from his love for Madhav. The message and the dialogue are recorded in the Uddhav Gita which is a part of the Bhaagvat Puran.

Brihannala/Arjun : I mean, Krishna and Arjun definitely had something going on. But they were also technically cousins and their relationship is the most discussed queer Hindu relationship so I'll skip that. Instead, let's talk about Brihannala. The Pandavas were spent 1 year in anonymity as a penalty for losing a game of old timey chess to the Kauravas. They took up different identities and Arjun chose to live as a woman by the name of Brihannala. Brihannala taught dance to the princess of the Matsya kingdom, Uttara. At the end of his 1 year anonymity period as Brihannala, Arjun is offered Uttara’s hand which he turns down and accepts her as his daughter in-law instead.

Narsimha : The demon Hiranyakashyapu was granted a boon that he cannot be killed by any man or animal created by god, not outside or inside, not during the day or at night, not on land or water or sky, not by any weapon. In his pride over his invincibility, Hiranyakashyapu felt offended when he finds his son pray to Vishnu instead of his own father. Child abuse ensues and Vishnu saves the son every time. Hiranyakashyap is ultimately killed by Vishnu's incarnation Narsimha - half man/half lion (neither man not animal) who emerged out of a pillar (not created by god), at the threshold/doorstep (not inside or outside) at dusk (not day or night) and placed Hiranyakashyapu on it's thighs (not land or sky) and kills him with his nails (not weapon). Narsimha sure is something but isn't something you can constrict in any binary, much less the gender binary. It/It's pronouns?

Meerabai : The Bhakti movement of the 15th Century CE, which emerged in parallel to the Islamic Sufi tradition, perceives god as a friend and a partner - someone you can be with for life. Meera was a product of this period. She was married to the King of the Mewar kingdom but renounced any sexual or romantic relationship with her 'husband' and instead devoted herself to Krishna. This was by no means normative for her status quo and her in-laws tried to poison her multiple times for being who she was. Meera didn't stop and is believed to have lived her life as an ascetic in a warrior household, solely devoted to her Krishna. Meera wasn't the only one. The Bhakti movement saw many like Meera who willingly renounce allonormative and amatonormative constructs for spiritual 'love' - sometimes living their lives without religious affiliations (eg: Sant Kabir). As an aspec/arospec person, I find this whole deal very fascinating and empowering!

Mohini : Oh how many times have we talked about Mohini already? Mohini shows up many many times in Hindu stories with her first mentions dating back to about 5th Century BCE in the tale of Samudramanthan, where she seduces the demons into giving her the elixir of immortality. Her initial mentions elude to her as an 'illusion' implying that Vishnu stays male while other's perception of 'him' changes. Later legends flesh her out more and she starts being referred to as a woman and not just an illusion. Again, labels are hard to translate across cultures and time and nuance gets lost in the process, but I must say, the whole thing is fairly genderfluid of Vishnu! Mohini is shown almost always having male partners whereas Vishnu is written in both mlm and heterosexual relationships. Do what you will with that info.

The empty blank faces are representative of the numerous unnamed queer folk that have always been here and still do but go unacknowledged, stay in the closet/are afraid to come out, or don't live their lives to the fullest due to the steady stigmatization of queerness for an assortment of reasons. Note: heads of the gods have a crown.

Limbs

I couldn't have possibly drawn infinite limbs and faces, but try to give the impression that they do exist here. The hands that are well drawn are holding things the gods in the list above usually hold in their typical iconography.

Flute (Masc side) - Representative of Krishna

Claws (Fem side) - Representative of Narsimha

Mace (Masc side) - Representative of Narsimha

Battleaxe/Parashu, Kapala/Skull Cup (Masc side) - Canonically held by Masc side of Ardhanareeshwar

Bow+arrow (Masc side) - Held by Ayyappan

Trident/Trishul, Scriptures, Sword, Blessing hand gesture/Abhayamudra (Fem Side) - Four limbs of Bahuchara Mata

Blue Lotus/Neelkamal (Fem Side) - Canonically held by Fem side of Ardhanareeshwar

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is telling my classmates that academics were more important than relationships in highschool when they asked why i didn't have a boyfriend (hetero and amatonormativity two birds with one stone smh) and having the italic 'oh' moment after i graduated and figured out that I was just immune to romantic attraction :D

.

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

It was so good

Ofc Shannon did her weird little cliffhanger thing where I'm left having built up emotions during the course of an entire book and then HAVE IT DISSIPATE WTFFF. Jk I get why she does that but it was SERIOUSLY A TWIST. Also, the main endgame couple just sorta got together, and I don't rly care ab their romance but it was. actually. good. I find myself giggling hysterically at their romantic situations too (couldn't be me! /j) ig I underestimated her ability to write good romance after Sophie's uhh.. w/out giving anything away.. pervious attempt.. but I was right to I think after reading through all that amatonormativity smh. I'd talk ab the plot but it'd literally all be spoilers atp. I think it was really refreshing to come back at the series with fresh eyes as well, I have definitely a new pov on Fitz after seeing bylers talk about Mike- and bc he's actually learning on this book, which I really admire. Anyways, mad my girl hasn't killed someone yet (/hj).

It is 11:47 at night. I have just finished reading Stellarlune.

Debating between immediate reread or going into the tag.