#small town romance anthology

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

Suddenly This Summer

Three small town romances that provide a variety of characters, issues to be dealt with, and happily ever afters that made the characters – and me – happy. Getting to read two new-to-me authors that I would read again was also a treat.

Susan Mallery’s SAY YOU’LL STAY sees Lawson and Shaye meet on the street, spend some time together during Christmas in July and wonder if it would be a fleeting moment that will quickly pass them by or perhaps provide a future for them together.

Synthia Williams’s THIS TIME FOR KEEPS Michaela and Khalil circling one another with one ready to commit and the other unable to trust that this time it will really work for them. Is the time finally right for this couple and if so, how will it come about?

Stefanie London’s BEST MAN NEXT DOOR was a surprise and my favorite of the three stories. Sage and Jamie were wonderful people that so deserved to be together. I loved everything about this story though I wished that both characters had not had to go through difficult times to achieve the maturity they did.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin Trade Publishing for the ARC – This is my honest review.

4-5 Stars

BLURB

Nothing is sweeter than the first kiss of summer...

SAY YOU'LL STAY by Susan Mallery. Shaye Harper has sworn off men for good. But when she meets army vet Lawson Easley during a pit stop on the road to a fresh start, she’s drawn in by the quirky town—and the handsome stranger she can’t resist. Lawson knows there’s no place better than Wishing Tree. Too bad the woman he's certain is “the one” is just passing through…unless he can convince her to give him and his hometown a chance at forever.

THE TIME FOR KEEPS  by Synithia Williams. Home to care for her ailing father, Michaela Spears is on a mission: reconcile with the one man she can’t forget. She broke his heart years ago, so when Khalil appears on her parents’ doorstep in his scrubs, she knows it’s her last chance. Khalil Davenport shouldn’t have taken the job as her dad’s home nurse, but he couldn't resist her. Their timing was never right, but now can he trust that she’s home to stay?

BEST MAN NEXT DOOR by Stefanie London.  For Sage Nilsen, coming back to her small Massachusetts hometown for a family wedding feels like high school all over again. Except Jamie Hackett has gone from charming boy next door to handsome best man. And sparks are suddenly flying between the popular guy and the so-called outcast. As the wedding gets closer, Sage finds herself on the edge of something unexpected—a second chance in the town she left behind…with the guy she’s never forgotten.

Buy Links: 

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AUTHOR BIOS

SUSAN MALLERY:  Susan Mallery is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of novels about the relationships that define women's lives—family, friendship, romance. Library Journal says, “Mallery is the master of blending emotionally believable characters in realistic situations," and readers seem to agree—40 million copies of her books have sold worldwide. Her warm, humorous stories make the world a happier place to live. Susan grew up in California and now lives in Seattle with her husband. She's passionate about animal welfare, especially that of the ragdoll cat and adorable poodle who think of her as mom. Visit Susan online at www.susanmallery.com.

SYNITHIA WILLIAMS:  Synithia Williams has loved romance novels since reading her first one at the age of 13. It was only natural that she would one day write her own romance. When she isn’t writing, Synithia works on water quality issues in the Midlands of South Carolina while taking care of her supportive husband and two sons. You can learn more about Synithia by visiting her website, www.synithiawilliams.com.

STEFANIE LONDON:  Stefanie London is a USA TODAY bestselling author of contemporary romances and romantic comedies. Her books have been called “genuinely entertaining and memorable” by Booklist and have won multiple industry awards, including the HOLT Medallion and OKRWA National Readers’ Choice Award. Originally from Australia, Stefanie lives in Toronto with her very own hero and is doing her best to travel the world. She frequently indulges in her passions for good coffee, lipstick, romance novels and anything zombie related.  Visit Stefanie online at Stefanie-London.com.

Social Links:

Susan Mallery Website

Synithia Williams Website

Stefanie London Website

EXCERPT

Suddenly This Summer

Best Man Next Door by Stefanie London

CHAPTER ONE

Before today, Jamie Hackett had thought he’d already faced death.

Like the time he dove off a cliff on a dare, plunging into the ocean with the speed of a bullet. Or 

the time he’d come face-to-face with a territorial goose who’d gone apeshit at him for getting too 

close to her goslings. Or when his car skidded across a patch of black ice in the middle of winter 

and he’d narrowly missed crash- ing into a big oak tree.

He’d been cool as a cucumber, every single time.

But it turned out he hadn’t really faced death. Now that he’d confronted it for real, he understood 

what it felt like.

Jamie glanced around the sterile white hospital hall- way, feeling weirdly disconnected from it 

all. If some- one had told him he was floating in the air, watching everything happen from above, 

he would have believed it. Giving himself a shake, he reached one hand to his opposite arm and 

pinched himself. Hard. He winced from the pain.

Still alive.

But the quicker he was out of here the better.

His mom stood at the administration desk, her shoulders hunched. Exhaustion seeped into her posture and made her look even smaller than usual. When she turned to face him, he noticed her blouse was buttoned wrong and her curly ginger hair was sticking out in all directions like it always did when she didn’t have time to style it.

“Ready to go, hon?” She tried to smile, but her eyes were watery and the dark shadows circling underneath made her look hollowed out.

You did that to her.

He nodded.

“Your dad has gone to get the car so he can meet us out front.” She slipped her arm into his and held him close, her fingernails biting into his skin, as if she was worried he’d float away like a discarded balloon if she didn’t hold on tight enough. “No need to rush—we’ll walk slow.”

“You didn’t have to wait around. I could have gotten a cab,” he said quietly. He kept his gaze averted from the goings-on around him, not wanting to see the people being wheeled about and the elderly folk shuffling along, walking their fluid bags like strange, lifeless pets.

It freaked him out.

He was thirty-two for crying out loud. Thirty-two with his whole life ahead of him. With decades ahead of him.

“Jamie Hackett, if you think I would let my child come home from hospital in a cab then I don’t even know…” Her voice broke as she shook her head, still clutching him tightly. He could hear the tears she was holding back, companions of the ones she’d been shedding ever since she’d arrived at the hospital yesterday. “Of course we were going to take you home.”

There was no point arguing. Patty Hackett was an overprotective mama bear at the best of times, let alone when one of her own was hurt. Although really, aside from a few stitches in the back of his head and some chest pain that felt like a couple of boulders had been propped there, Jamie was walking away from this situation a lot better than he could have.

A lot better than what would have been if his best friend hadn’t saved him.

When they made it outside, Jamie sucked in as much air as his lungs would allow, and even though doing so burned, he had to clear the hospital smells from his nostrils. It was warm and sunny out, with a clear blue sky and not a cloud to be seen. The perfect early summer day.

Perfect like it had been the previous evening when he’d decided to get a good sweaty workout in. Perfect like when he’d jogged across the gym floor, warm sunshine streaming in through the windows and the high-quality shock-absorbent flooring cushioning his feet. Perfect like when his fists had sailed at the heavy punching bag, the repetitive pounding motion better than any form of therapy he’d found to date.

Perfect…until he’d almost died.

Jamie shook the dark thoughts from his head as his father pulled the family SUV up in front of the hospital’s pick-up area. His mom rushed forward to open the passenger side door for him.

“I can open the door myself, okay?” he said. He hated seeing her worry like this. Hated knowing that he caused it. “You don’t need to wait on me.”

“Just get in the car, James,” she sighed and shot him a look that told him there was no point arguing. It was easier to do what he was told. And if she was calling him by his full name, it meant she was a hair away from clipping his ear.

So he climbed into the car without another word.

“Son.” His father looked over to him with a crinkled brow. “Let your mother fuss. She needs it.”

Jamie nodded. “You’re right.”

His father turned to face the road as the back door opened and Patty climbed in, scrambling to hoist her small frame up into the giant SUV like she always did. The ride home was filled with rapid-fire questions from the back seat.

Why didn’t you tell us you were stressed out?

Should you be talking to a professional about your problems?

Is it happening again?

The last one made a weird acidic taste burn in the back of his throat. No matter how many years he put between himself and The Great Breakdown of his early twenties, he was frequently reminded that nobody would ever forget it happened.

Because when you were a world-class athlete, your failures didn’t only become gossip—they became lore.

“The doctor said you need to keep your stress levels down and take a break from work,” his mother relayed. “This could happen again. She said that panic attacks can be triggered by working too much and not getting enough rest, and—”

“I know, Mom. I was there.”

“We care about you, Jamie.” His father’s voice was gruff. “This isn’t about blame or trying to make you feel bad. You know that, right?”

Despite everything that had happened in the past, his parents had never once made him feel like he was to blame for what had happened…even if he himself had felt like a giant failure.

“Yeah,” he said. “I know.”

“And the doctor said we need to keep an eye on you for the next twenty-four hours to make sure there are no complications,” Patty continued. The car rolled smoothly along the highway, other vehicles passing them at a rapid pace thanks to his dad’s careful—read: slow—driving. “I got your sister to set up the spare bedroom at our place. And don’t bother protesting about going home by yourself because I won’t have it.”

Jamie glanced at his father, who simply shrugged as if to say, she’s the boss. Too right. Nobody was under any illusions about who was head of their household, that was for damn sure.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Mom. But what about—”

“Flash is staying at Clay’s house,” she said without letting him finish. “He said we could leave him there until you were ready to go home.”

Whenever Jamie wasn’t feeling himself, the first thing he wanted to do was to hang out with his dog. They really were man’s best friend. No doubt Jamie’s business partner, Clay Harris, would spoil him rotten with treats and belly scratches, so it wasn’t like he’d be sad having a sleepover.

Jamie watched the scenery roll along outside the window. Soon they were approaching Reflection Bay, the town where he’d spent most of his life—a town that wasn’t even big enough for its own hospital.

He’d driven along this road so many times he’d lost count, watching the silvery blue of the ocean flicker between patches of green and rugged cliff faces, the tourist-favorite red-and-white lighthouse rising up in the distance. It was the same as it had always been and yet…it felt different now.

Everything felt different.

Forty-eight hours after returning home from the hospital, Jamie was “discharged” from the Hackett Family Hospital. But not without needing to pass a rigorous interrogation from his mother. If someone had overheard the conversation, they might mistake Patty Hackett for an actual doctor rather than the elementary school art teacher she was.

But now that Jamie could taste the sweet air of freedom, he was happier than ever to be alive. Especially since he had been reunited with his canine best friend.

“Isn’t it glorious? The sun is shining. The birds are singing.” Jamie glanced down at his dog, Flash, who ambled with the kind of gait that could only be described as “walking under duress.” “Oh, come on, bud. It’s not that bad.”

The chunky fawn-and-white bulldog looked up at him with imploring eyes as if to say, please make it stop. Flash, named in the most ironic fashion, hated working out as much as Jamie loved it. In fact, it was somewhat of a local joke that the two fittest guys in town had adopted the laziest dog ever as the mascot for their gym.

But Jamie loved Flash with everything he had. The dog might not be able to move faster than a drunk snail, but he had a heart of gold. Flash was always happy to see Jamie, never judged him for working too long or for stressing out too much about his business, and loved nothing more than just hanging out. No expectations, no bullshit.

That was love.

The pair ambled along the street. His business, Reflection Fitness, sat right at the end of the main strip, on a corner. It never failed to make pride surge through Jamie’s veins to see what he and Clay had built together. Their goal had been to create a gym that catered to all the people in their small town, leaving no one to feel like they didn’t belong. Reflection Fitness had clients who were training for big goals like marathons and fitness competitions, as well as clients like Jamie’s grandpa—who was combating osteoarthritis with regular, low-intensity workouts—and Jamie’s favorite personal training client—a bubbly woman in her forties who’d decided to try weight lifting after years of thinking cardio was the only option for women. They had a trainer on staff who specialized in pre- and post-natal fitness and another who ran classes for seniors aimed at improving joint mobility. They had built the gym to be accessible for clients with mobility needs. It was important to both Jamie and Clay that everyone who came to the gym felt welcomed and catered to.

“Let’s get you inside where there’s some air-conditioning, huh?” Jamie looked down at Flash, who was taking each plodding step with great effort. To be fair to the dog, it was unseasonably hot for so early in the summer. “We’re almost there.”

Jamie turned the corner to access the gym from the back door, which led directly into the office he and Clay shared. He tried not to take Flash through the front if he could help it, in case anyone working out had asthma or allergies. But when Jamie got to the door and tried to turn the handle, he found it locked.

“Weird,” he muttered.

The back was usually open if Clay was working, which he should be, given the hour. But perhaps he’d stepped out.

Jamie tried unlocking it. Only…the key wouldn’t fit.

“What the heck?” He tried again. No dice.

He stared at the key, wondering if the knock he’d taken to the back of his head had done more damage than he’d realized. But no, it was definitely the right key.

Befuddled, Jamie walked Flash around to the front of the gym, where a sleek set of glass doors opened to a small reception area. The space was light and welcoming, with a big potted plant and a white couch in one corner. An old black-and-white photo hung on the wall, showing Clay and Jamie in their high school days, arms around each other—a tennis racket in Jamie’s hand and a basketball in Clay’s.

“Jamie!” The receptionist, Sara, brightened when she saw him. She wore a blue Reflection Fitness uniform polo shirt and her long, dark brown hair hung over her shoulder in twin braids. “How are you feeling?”

“Never better,” he replied breezily. “And thank you for sending those flowers to Mom’s place. That wasn’t necessary.”

“Everyone was thinking about you.” Her brow wrinkled. “We were all so worried when Clay told us what happened!”

Ugh, Clay. The guy had a big mouth.

“I told him to keep it quiet,” Jamie muttered. “In any case, I appreciate the gesture. Mom commandeered the flowers right away for her living room.”

Sara laughed. “That’s why I picked tulips. I had a feeling she would end up with them.”

Mama Hackett was a favorite among the staff since she often made oatmeal cookies, energy balls and other healthy treats for everyone who worked at Reflection Fitness.

“Is Clay in?” Jamie asked. “I tried the back door, but I think something’s wrong with my key.”

“Uh…” Sara’s expression turned strange, and she reached for the phone on the desk. “Let me call him through.”

“It’s okay, I’ll head in.” Jamie had his swipe pass on hand, like always, and he tapped it against the electronic reader which activated the gate into the gym.

The screen flashed red and made an angry beep sound.

First his key didn’t fit the lock and now his pass wasn’t working. What the—

“Jamie.”

He looked up and saw Clay striding through the gym toward the foyer, a no-nonsense look on his face. At six foot five with shoulders that could bridge two cities, Clay had the perfect build for the sport he’d loved as a child—basketball. He had dark brown skin, warm eyes and close-cropped curly black hair. Usually, Clay would be flashing his signature charming smile—a smile that had won over just about every cheerleader the guy had ever encountered in his high school and college days. A smile that, now, was conspicuously absent.

“You locked me out.” Jamie shook his head in disbelief. “You changed the locks on the office without telling me?”

“Outside, now.” Clay pointed to the front doors as he strode through the gate. “We’re not doing this in front of the clients.”

Sara dropped her head and pretended to bury herself in work, ignoring Jamie’s gaze pleading for support.

He let out an irritated huff. “Fine.”

The two men walked back outside and Jamie felt a pang of guilt as Flash made a noise of protest about returning to the hot summer day. The trio rounded the corner away from the front of the gym so they could have it out.

“This is for your own good, Jamie.” Clay held up his hands, signaling he didn’t want a fight. Despite being strong enough to beat most men in anything physical, Clay was a gentle giant with a big heart.

He was also, however, stubborn as an ox.

“We’re partners, Clay. You can’t lock me out of my own damn business.” Jamie gestured with his free hand toward the building next to them. “That’s…that’s got to be illegal.”

Clay folded his arms across his chest. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t take this seriously. The doctor said you need to rest and your mom told me to keep an eye on you, because she’s worried, too.”

Typical Patty. Jamie made a sound of disbelief. “I rested.”

“For two days.” Clay shook his head. “That’s not enough.”

“Man, it was nothing. You’re overreacting.”

“I am not overreacting. Do you have any idea what it’s like to walk up on your best friend lying unconscious on the floor? I thought you’d had a heart attack or something. I thought you were dead.”

He felt terrible for putting Clay through that, but he was already feeling vulnerable about this whole thing. He couldn’t let his friend see how much it had shaken him.

“So dramatic.” Jamie rolled his eyes.

“See, this—” Clay circled a finger at his face just like his mom used to when they were naughty kids “—is why I know you’re not listening to what the doctor said. You came right here to go back to doin’ exactly what you were doin’ before.”

“Building our business?” he replied, biting back his frustration.

“Running yourself into the ground. Wake up, Jamie.” Clay shook his head. “You might not be so lucky next time.”

“It’s my call to determine whether I’m ready to come back, not yours.”

“It sure is, because I won’t give you a new key until I’m sure you’re actually taking this thing seriously.”

Jamie’s mouth popped open. “You can’t do that!”

“Sure I can. It’s my name on the lease, remember?”

Oh yeah. That. He’d been meaning to get that bit of paperwork updated for almost three years now, but it was one of those things that kept falling off his to-do list in favor of more impactful items. Besides, he’d always thought Clay would never do him dirty, so it didn’t seem like a big deal.

“It’s our business, no matter what the lease says.”

“Jamie, I’m doing this because you’re my best friend. I want you to take care of yourself.” Clay looked genuinely concerned. “Coach always used to say a heart that pumps too fast is no better than one that doesn’t pump at all. Rest is as important as work.”

Jamie let out a groan. “Sitting at a desk isn’t exactly strenuous. I just need to answer some emails—”

“And then you’ll just need to look at some spreadsheets and make some calls and then some new client will come to you with a sob story and you’ll squeeze them in even though you said you weren’t going to take on any more PT clients yourself.” Clay shook his head. “I know your tricks, man. Don’t try to play me.”

“But what about the clients I have—”

“I split them up between the other trainers. It’s already done.”

“You called everyone already?” Jamie scrubbed a hand over his face. “I told you I didn’t want anyone to know.”

“I said you were helping me plan stuff for the wedding. Best man shit.” Clay grinned and Jamie found his anger withering away. It really was hard to hate the guy when he smiled. “You’re loyal like that.”

He let out a strangled noise of frustration. “I’ll call the locksmith myself.”

“Then he’s gonna have to get through me.”

Jamie considered his options. Anyone who didn’t know Clay might be too intimidated to try changing the locks against his wishes and anyone who did know him would be too charmed to want to try. Fact was, his best friend had him over a barrel.

“What am I supposed to do with myself, huh?” Jamie hated the panic in his voice. Who on earth felt panicked at the prospect of time off?

“I don’t know. Play ping-pong with your dad, go up to the Cape, sleep in. You’re a big boy—you’ll figure it out.”

Clay’s hand came down hard on Jamie’s shoulder, earning him a soft grunt. There was no reasoning with the guy, that much was clear.

Maybe Clay and his mom were right and this was serious. Jamie could have died. When he’d woken up in the ambulance, everything had flashed before his eyes��his whole life. His family. Work. His failed professional tennis career. His business. Long hours at his computer after longer days on the gym floor. Chasing the next thing, expanding the business, more clients, more money. Never satisfied. Always restless.

Was that all his life was about?

He’d always been hyper competitive, driven, and ambitious. But what if he had died the other day? What would he have left behind?

Jamie realized then that Clay was looking at him, as if waiting for him to speak. “No sweat. You want me to chill for a bit, fine. I can do that. You’ll see this isn’t a big deal.”

But even as he brushed off the severity of the incident, he knew the earth had shifted beneath his feet. What he’d thought was solid ground was now loose earth and uneven terrain. He needed to find his footing again. He needed to get himself straight. Most of all, he needed to prove to everyone that this was just a one-off. That he could handle pressure—unlike when he was younger.

Because he couldn’t ever go back to being Jamie Can’t-Hackett ever again.

Excerpted from Suddenly This Summer by Susan Mallery, Synithia Williams, Stefanie London. The Best Man Next Door by Stefanie London Copyright © 2023 by Stefanie Little. Published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

[teacup-of-candlelight]

Charity Anthology for Hurricane Helene Disaster Relief in Western NC.

I'm a participating author in this charity anthology put together to support victims of Helene in the North Carolina mountains. That's where I'm from originally so its a cause very near and dear to my heart. If Small-Town Romance isn't your genre, or there are other commitments on your finances I 100% understand! All I ask is that you reblog or pass the link along to anyone you know who may be interested.

[hrrtshape]

　　 THE ROLES IN MY FAME DR. . .

quiet, quiet !!! centre stage, lights dimmed, audience hushed. my fame dr is essentially me winning the metaphorical acting olympics while everyone else is still lacing up their shoes. it’s, like, a line-up of roles so iconic, so overpowered, it’s like i’m thanos snapping my way through hollywood history. i wanted the cookie, and i baked the whole bakery.

here’s the rundown.....each role is a slice of cinematic perfection, OKAY, served with a side of "how does she do it? why does she do it?? how many oscars do you need??" energy.

　꒰ 2002. . . ' PONETTE ' as ponette. — picture a four-year-old (shut up) absolutely devastating audiences, grappling with grief and holding onto the wisp of hope that her mom might waltz back from the afterlife. tiny me..... heartbreaking. oscar-worthy. a pint-sized tour de force !!!

　꒰ 2006. . . ' LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE ' as olive. — quirky underdog vibes. a beauty pageant dreamer dragged through chaos on a family road trip. big glasses, bigger heart. adorable chaos incarnate.

　꒰ 2007. . . ' LÉON: THE PROFESSIONAL ' as mathilda. — street-smart, sharp-tongued, and navigating grief and revenge. turned “child assassin vibes” into a genre.... unlikely bond with a hitman? groundbreaking.

　꒰ 2008. . . ' ATONEMENT ' as briony tallis. — precocious young writer turned accidental chaos agent. one little misunderstanding, and boom !! tragedy for everyone. the literary girls wept.

　꒰ 2009. . . ' TRUE GRIT ' as mattie ross. — fearless teen avenger with a rifle and a vengeance. sharp-tongued, sharp-shooting. unstoppable.

　꒰ 2011. . . ' LOLITA ' as lolita /// dolores haze. — a beguiling and precocious girl cloaked in innocence but steeped in rebellion, a mix of youthful charm and intoxicating danger. made everyone very uncomfortable because it wasn't directed by a pervert but instead an actual person who understood the book !!

　꒰ 2012. . . ' MOONRISE KINGDOM ' as suzy. — whimsical runaway girl with a suitcase full of records and big dreams, embarking on an adventurous and heartfelt runaway journey with her first love.

　꒰ 2013. . . ' BLACK SWAN ' as nina sayers. — the drama. the descent into madness on the basis of perfection. a ballerina teetering on the edge of perfection and chaos.

　꒰ 2014. . . ' THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL ' as agatha. — the sweet baker who saves the day in a pastel-hued, heist-filled fever dream. you could say i was the cinnamon roll that held the plot together.

　꒰ 2015. . . ' CINDERELLA ' as cinderella. — glass slippers, big dreams, unapologetic faith in the universe. cottagecore princess moment.

　꒰ 2017. . . ' LADY BIRD ' as christine "lady bird" mcpherson. — high school angst meets big-city dreams. small-town girl, big personality, fiercely independent. greta gerwig girlies cheered.

　꒰ 2019. . . ' ROMEO AND JULIET ' (dir. sofia coppola) as juliet. — tragic romance, youthful rebellion, a modernised shakespearean masterpiece. the english teachers are obsessed.

　꒰ 2019. . . ' ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD ' as sharon tate. — an enchanting actress and rising star, embodying the golden glow of hollywood’s bygone era with grace and optimism.

　꒰ 2019. . . ' LITTLE WOMEN ' as amy march. — ambitious, artistic, unapologetically confident. justice for amy achieved!!!

　꒰ 2019. . . ' STRANGE COLOURS ' (dir. david lynch) as naste. — struggling sculptor in post-war 1950s paris, whose pursuit of success leads her to morally complex decisions in a crime and punishment-inspired tale.

　꒰ 2020. . . ' THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT ' as beth harmon. — a brilliant yet troubled chess prodigy navigating personal demons, ambition, and addiction while conquering a male-dominated world.

　꒰ 2021. . . ' THE FRENCH DISPATCH ' as juliette. — a cynical and enigmatic character in a whimsical anthology capturing the spirit of journalism and artistic eccentricity.

　꒰  2021 . . . ' PROFIL PERDU ' as josée. — a woman caught in a crumbling marriage, drawn into a web of intrigue and liberation when a wealthy magnate offers her a new life filled with possibilities.

　꒰ 2021 & 2023. . . ' SUCCESSION ' as lukas matsson's complicated girlfriend. — it’s giving chaos. it’s giving scandal. the girl who walked into the roy / mattson power vortex and made it just a tad messier.

　꒰ 2022 & 2025. . . ' SEVERANCE ' as helly r. — kafkaesque corporate dystopia, dual personalities, fighting against the machine. the drama of it all.

　꒰ 2022. . . ' X ' as maxine. — it’s sexy, it’s terrifying, it’s iconic. a daring and ambitious young woman pursuing fame in the adult film industry while navigating fear and survival in a horror setting.

　꒰ 2022. . . ' PEARL ' as pearl. — a dreamer turned unhinged by isolation and frustration, whose violent tendencies emerge as her craving for stardom spirals into tragedy.

　꒰ 2023. . . ' POOR THINGS ' as bella baxter. — a curious and eccentric woman reborn into a surreal world, exploring life with uninhibited wonder and self-discovery. an eccentric frankenstein moment.

　꒰ 2023. . . ' THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS & SNAKES ' as livia cardew. — capitol decadence personified. the symbol of privilege and mean-spirituality. as well as coriolanus snow's future wife.

　꒰ 2024. . . ' MAXXXINE ' as maxine. — a raw and determined character fighting to make her mark in a world that feeds on fame, continuing her saga in the x-pearl trilogy.

　꒰ 2025. . . ' FRANKENSTEIN ' as the bride. — a haunting and tragic figure, torn due to her her husband's newest project.

that oscar is practically monogrammed with my soul. engraved, embossed, bedazzled in my honour. if possession is nine-tenths of the law, that golden man is legally, spiritually, and cosmically mine. you ever look at something and just know?? that’s me with oscar excellence. signed, sealed, delivered. twice for emphasis.

also....dividers not mine !!!!!

[amandacanwrite]

Amanda Cessor • A Writeblr Intro

Hey everyone! I'm Amanda Cessor and I write historical fantasy and romance. I have words published in Merciless Mermaids (An Anthology,) Full Mood Mag, and I have my first novel coming out with Inked in Gray Press.

I'll be posting tips, essays, creative nonfiction and excerpts from my work here, as well as documenting the process of publishing my first book with a small, independent press. I hope we can be friends!

The Novel is called "With Love, Juniper" and the little elevator pitch is: Herbalist and witch Juniper, who suffers from severe social phobia, finds herself caught between the courtships of her oldest friend, Oleander, and handsome, influential stranger, Theo, while trying to deal with the expectations of her parents and the members of the small village she lives in.

I have entirely too many projects I'm currently working on, behold:

A Dawn Without Ashes -- Vampire Romance, Stand Alone (for now?)

Projected Word Count -- 100k

Setting

Fantasy Anachronistic 1920's vibes, in a land where Vampires rule and humans are seen as little more than a food source.

Synopsis

In Oubliette, Vampires rule from the shadows. Humans are considered pests at their worst, beloved pets at best. Orianna is the lowest of the low, an impoverished thief awaiting her sentencing after stealing coins to buy some food. When the charming Count Diable hand picks her as a commodity for his blood-brothel, she worries she has jumped out of the frying pan and straight into the fire.  

She has no idea how true that really is until she meets Atlas, Count of House Lune, darling of the Empress and and keeper of a secret that could change everything. Not only for her,  but for all of human kind.  

Of Foxes and Follies -- Fae Meets Peaky Blinders -- Trilogy

Projected Word Count -- 100k

Setting

Fictional version of Scotland, which I like to call Not!land and actually called Dimloch, around the 1910's or 1920's.

Synopsis

Rheannon Todd has a debt to pay. A debt she plans to pay by stealing from drunken guests at a Midsummer Soiree hosted by the notorious gangster known as The Magpie.

What she doesn't know is that The Magpie is more than just a charming card sharp with a penchant for cruelty. He's a member of the Unseelie Court and he doesn't much like being stolen from.

The Hallowed Wilds -- Serial on Hiatus -- Grounded Romantasy

Setting

Pseudo Appalachian small town in the 1840's.

Synopsis

Ezra lives near a mysterious forest called The Wilds. People who go in there tend to not come out, but even as a boy he feels drawn to the strange place. One day, when his parents are out, he sneaks into The Wilds and meets Aurelia, a strange, beautiful witch who has lived in the forest since she was born.

What starts as a beloved childhood friendship develops into a star crossed love over the years. The fear in the village and the brutality of the witches in the forest threaten to tear them apart.

Currently on Hiatus, but you can read about 60k of it here!

Red Skies -- Standalone Novel -- Pirate Romantasy

Projected Word Count -- 100k

Setting

Psuedo Imperial open world around the 18th Century.

Synopsis

Cordelia Shurka will do anything to provide for her family. She's worked herself to the bone since she was a child to keep the house afloat after her father vanished from their lives. When things get too hard, though, she seeks to raise her station by marrying herself to the viceroy. It seems an easy trade, her utter devotion and obedience in exchange for finally having the security she so desperately wants.

On her wedding day, the thinks she's finally out of the woods. That is until handsome pirate, Edric Davenport steals her for himself.

Want Updates?

If you happen to be interested in getting updates on any of these projects, you can join my tag list here!

[cloveroctobers]

OCTOBER PROMPTS 🎃 — 4. Ruby Matthews

A/N: yes it is I! Back with another Ruby piece because why the hell not? Thanks for all the new love on my previous works surrounding this layered character. She’s been fun to watch and it’s only right that I do something else for this final season. Thoughts about it? There were great moments for sure but I don’t think it’s my favorite season, I’ll probably have to go back and watch to fully determine that. I still wanted more for lots of the characters and this season seemed to miss something and it’s not me fighting for the main ships like some of you are arguing over lol. Otis needs to be by his damn self for awhile! + Ruby deserves better than the way he treated her, I’ll say that and know she’ll find her person in the near future once she experiences more growth for sure. Anyways this show was gold! RIP.

PROMPTS from HERE + I’m using: caught in the rain + crunching leaves + “you’ve got leaves in your hair.”

WARNINGS: Reader has a name + fem pronouns. Ruby being a little bitchy towards reader + hints of a potential romance?

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧

Thanks to Milou's god-mother, she was able to clock out early from the book shop for the evening since a storm was brewing according to the older woman. It's funny really how Milou tended not to pay much attention to science or the weather whether-*wink* in conversation or just the mere thought of the subject, giving that she was surrounded by a bunch of people that worked in that field. Her absent mother was a meterologist who got a kick out of chasing storms, her late father was a broadcast meteorologist, her paternal uncle and ex boyfriend of her god-mother; who also happened to be her mother's best friend is a GIS analyst and finally her cousin and god-brother was studying to be a hydrologist.

As for Milou? She has no clue what she wanted to be in life, she was simply taking it one day at a time and going with the flow. Which she of course got shit for but she knew she loved books and tattoos. I mean hey! look at her god-mother, she didn’t have this goal board of being something fancy growing up she just stuck to what she loved. She came from a small family, a professor for a father, a step-father who worked in a boutique for two decades, and a mother as a florist. Milou’s god-mother always knew she loved books and candles so she eventually got into owning a book shop, making and selling candles on the side.

She did quite alright with her life if you asked Milou. Milou felt she was similar to her god-mother more than her own mother and figured with each day that the sun rose it would all work out…at least she hoped.

In the distance she sees someone dressed in red tweed attire, walking alongside their bike as Milou drives down the hill. It doesn’t take her long to realize that it’s Ruby Matthews and a smirk spreads on her lips then as she presses her foot on the gas. She thinks about speeding right pass her, turning the stereo up to make Ruby’s attention focused only on the back of her ride but it was interesting nonetheless to see Ruby on a bike instead in her own car.

“What’s this? Not the Queen of Moorfield doing actual labor? Where’s the Royal Chauffeurs?” Milou jokes from the driver’s side.

Immediately Ruby rolls her eyes, stopping in her tracks as she stretched a sarcastic smile over her pink painted lips, “oh Milou, haven’t you learned that harassment doesn’t look nice on you? That can lead to loads of things like imprisonment or pillory.”

“That’s extreme, yeah?” Milou tilts her head or the side while letting her wrists rest over the top of the steering wheel, “You call it harassment, I call it having a conversation with my neighbor.”

Ruby scoffs, “what makes you think I want to talk to someone like you?”

“I dunno something tells me you could use a friend…but if you prefer lonely strolls around town drinking that let me guess, pistachio latte on your own then don’t mind me.” Milou shrugs, pushing her sunglasses back up the bridge of her nose, “good day then, your highness.”

Ruby was more of a decaf tea person since coffee stains your teeth but when stress calls so does caffeine apparently!

And with that Ruby watches as Milou attempts to speed off but the smoke and spluttering coming from her car didn’t sound normal. Part of that gave Ruby satisfaction before she could let the sadness fill in more than anything.

Milou’s been Ruby’s neighbor since she was about nine, moving in from New Zealand, and Ruby always liked how Milou moved to her own drum. There was a time where Ruby considered being Milou’s friend but Ruby was whisked off to camp where she met Sarah— “O” and that changed everything Ruby knew about friendships.

Ruby coughed and fanned the smoke away up ahead…she honestly hoped there wouldn’t be a fire but Milou seemed to take her time kicking the door open and out the way. Cautiously Ruby made some steps forward as Milou whacked at her car a bit after popping the hood open.

“Look at that, your get away wasn’t as stunt like  as you hoped.” Ruby mockingly pouted while Milou side-eyed her.

Milou adjusted the cuffed back denim bucket hat on her head saying, “and what about you? I haven’t seen you ride a bike since we were knee-high.”

‘You still are,’ Ruby thought to herself as she peered at the shorter girl.

“Decided to try something new for college and it’s better for the environment.” Ruby stood up straight as she stated her claim.

Milou snorted at that, “you caring for the environment? Not likely.”

“Excuse me? You don’t know my interests.”

“Course I do. I pay more attention than you think regardless if we attend the same college or not. We lived next door to each other for years, I know enough.” Milou replied as she pushed away from her steaming car.

Milou stood by Ruby who held her analyzing stare, “your chains broken by the way.”

“I’ve noticed, thank you! Why else would I be walking?” Ruby sassed, “It’s not like this street is the best runway with its awful incline.”

Milou clicked her tongue and pointed, “Anything to strengthen the glutes.”

Ruby swallows to refrain from traveling her eyes elsewhere. Milou maybe short as ever but she’s always been athletic as a kid and it didn’t seem to change now into their teens, let’s just say that.

“I am the view, these hills better be proud that I’m even passing through.”

“…This is the only route to our neighborhood.”

“Do you have an answer for everything?!”

Milou laughs with a shrug of her shoulders deciding to switch the minor problem at hand, “I can probably fix that for you.”

“I know how to fix a bike! I just don’t have the tools…”

Milou sighs as she squats down near Ruby who takes a step back and sideways to give the girl some room.

“It’s bent…you’re going to need new chain.” Milou observes.

“That’s just great, as if this day couldn’t get any worse.”

Milou stands up at this, “want to talk about it?”

Ruby sips from her cup and pops her tongue, “Not particularly no.”

“We got a long way home on foot. Are you suuure?” Milou backs up towards her car to retrieve her things.

“Sorry? We?”

“Yes. This thing isn’t going anywhere, my transmission’s been on the brink of blowing at any moment.” Milou says nonchalantly while Ruby widens her eyes, “I’ll have to reach out to a friend to tow this baby up for me.”

“Transmission?! Isn’t that a safety hazard?”

“Oh certainly but there’s not much money in the bank to get a new car so…perhaps I’ll build me one in the near future for cheaper.”

“Wait…you know how to do that?”

“I’m a person of many traits my love.”

“Not your love.”

“Not yet.” Milou winks, popping a lolly into her mouth, “want to leave your bike in my trunk? My guy can fix it up for you and you’ll get it back in a day or two?”

“Thanks for the offer but I don’t know or trust this friend of yours. They could be a thief for all I know.” Ruby sticks her nose up in the air.

Milou snorts as she placed a hand on her chest, “does it really seem like I’d hang out with kleptomaniacs?”

Ruby now side eyes Milou staring at her finger tattoos mainly and shrugs, “who truly knows? You probably hang out at sketchy bars, smoke by dumpsters, and illegally race cars on the outskirts of town.”

“Wooow you really do know me,” Milou exhales, “I don’t smoke because I’d like to keep my teeth and lungs. And I don’t race cars anymore for income after crashing and breaking my collarbone last year driving that sweet corvette. So sorry babes, you’re wrong. Is it my turn to assume why you’re in a sour mood?”

Ruby pursed her lips knowing she was laying on the bitchiness but it just seemed to ooze out whenever she had interactions with Milou. It’s not like the girl’s ever had one main reason why they went at it but Milou was never one to take anyone’s shit, despite having her nose in a book reading or doodling and seeming checked out. She had Ruby figured out and Ruby couldn’t say the same with Milou, which is why she did not enjoy that much.

At least that’s what she portrayed.

“If I had to guess…Otis?”

Ruby scoffs and begins walking off.

“What did he do this time?” Milou spins on her feet, quickly locking her doors before following after the long haired girl and says, “Doesn’t seem like he’s been around much lately.”

Ruby spews over her shoulder, “And how exactly would you know that Hm? Are you proving my assumptions by being a weirdo and stalking me?”

“Never. It’s what you show and I’m not just talking about your socials…thanks for suddenly deciding to unblock me by the way.” Milou chats, “I’m talking about your energy, it’s different. Well except for you insulting me this entire time, you do seem a bit sadder these days. I just want to make sure you’re alright is all.”

Ruby feels her shoulders sink in a bit, a little surprised that anyone’s noticed this. Yes she’s been going through a heartbreak, friends being distant, dealing with seeing a old bully thrive in their new supposed “helpful,” role at this new school where Ruby can’t find her footing…it’s all been a bit much and she didn’t feel like talking about it to anyone.

She won’t ever let anyone see her as weak even if the weight was starting to crush her.

Yet here comes Milou in her cool rina sawayama glory, sensing that something’s been up with Ruby and who knows how long she’s noticed.

Milou wasn’t a friend or really an enemy and Ruby wasn’t sure if she could even consider Milou just her neighbor.

It’s quiet now besides the crunching of leaves that Milou makes a show of stomping on as they walk through town together. Milou doesn’t mind the silence or even press the issue but she always had a habit of being honest, “too honest,” in her mother’s eyes but Milou had no problem letting Ruby know what she sees.

No matter what the wannabe diva thought of her.

Ruby pounds her feet after a wave of leaves fly back into her vision after Milou’s just kicked another set up into the air up ahead. The wind seemed to shift not long after, whipping some of those copper and sun dried leaves right into Ruby’s face.

“Hey! Stop that! You’re gonna ruin my outfit.”

“Aw c’mon, it’s awful already isn’t it?” Milou teased as she scanned over the appearance of the girl who suddenly ripped off her glasses.

“I have you know this outfit was made by my mum.” Ruby proudly said as she shoved her bike to the side and strutted right up to Milou, towering over her, “I picked the fabric, tweaked it afterwards just to my liking and I know I look damn good wearing it because of how long and the care it took to make it so I’d shut my mouth if I were you.”

Milou moved the lollipop around with her tongue, slowly eyeing Ruby up and down that Ruby almost had to hold her breath at how agonizingly slow Milou scanned her frame.

She smirked at Ruby once she met her brown eyes again and playfully raised her hands up in the air, “relax babes, I’m just having a bit of fun, just like with the leaves. And I know Mrs. Matthews’ has quite the craft, she taught me how to fix my old hat when I was twelve.”

“What?” Ruby frowned, “when? How?”

“That old lime green hat that I used to wear a lot as a kid? Ripped it right across the top after it got stuck in a tree branch. Your mum witnessed it on her way to work.”

“I don’t even want to know what you were doing for that to happen but…mum really stopped to help and she didn’t bother to tell me?” Ruby tried to wrack her brain to remember if her mum ever mentioned it but tending to a sick father and a mother always at work, usually means the conversations happened to be pretty brief.

Always has been but that never stopped Ruby from loving her mum. She was always the kind hearted one out of the two which translated well being a nurse but Ruby definitely got her fire from her father.

“People have a lot on their minds and I hear it gets worse as adulthood comes along so we better enjoy the better memories now…plus it happened forever ago but I’m always thankful for your mom’s help since that hat is special to me.” Milou shrugged, moving to walk beside Ruby again.

Ruby hums at this and let’s out a small laugh, “that hat was a terrible color but I must say…you wore it well. Framed your perfectly potato sized head nicely.”

Milou rolls her eyes, “thank you, I think?”

Ruby nods, a small smile playing on her lips before she says, “you mentioned if I was okay earlier, yeah?”

“Mhm.” Milou peeked at Ruby as they continued walking.

“Well…if you don’t mind—

The brown haired girl began just as the rain poured down over their heads. Ruby let’s out a squeal in displeasure, quickly leaving her bike behind and sets off into a jog towards the stone fence and nearest tree.

“I can’t believe this!” Ruby yells over the loud rain after Milou makes her way over.

Milou holds out her hand to let the rain drops hit the back of the skin on her hand, “believe it. My god-mommy did mention a rain storm was on its way.”

Ruby wipes the water from her face, “And you didn’t think to inform me earlier?”

Milou folds her arms, “You don’t check the weather when you pick out your outfits for the day?”

“Do you?” Ruby glares, with a roll of her neck.

Milou smirks doing another famous spin with a pop of the collar to her puffer vest, “Always…i mean look at me, don’t I look on theme?”

It’s Ruby’s turn to glance at Milou’s appearance for the day. A cream puffy vest, a nude zip up sweater underneath exposing a black tourmaline crystal wrapped around her neck, baggy cream jeans, the black sunglasses, damp denim hat and some sort of patterned boots.

“…Debatable.” Ruby calls over the pelt of rain while Milou shrugs her shoulders.

“If I like it then I love it.” Milou says peering at Ruby underneath her sunnies, “just like you’ll learn to love it once we become friends.”

“You keep saying that like you’ve been wishing upon a star.”

“No but you were just about to put your trust in me and tell me what’s been up with you lately, yeah?” Milou rests her elbow against the tree, later followed by resting her head against her hand.

Ruby turned her eyes into slits, “was I really?”

Milou lounges just blinking at the eighteen year old, waiting for her next move.

“Okay fine!” Ruby tightens her hold on the ends of her jacket for warmth, “I’m not the biggest fan of therapists.”

“Good thing for you, I’m nowhere near one.”

Ruby sighs, “thank heavens for that! But I better not hear you gossiping about me online or anywhere else for that matter.”

“Ruby,” Milou stares hard at the girl underneath her eyelashes, “that’s not how I operate and never will. Plus I’ve been told I don’t have much of a social media presence in the first place.”

“Did I say that?” Ruby searched the air in thought.

“No, my god-brother did.”

“Smart guy. Now him, I could be friends with.”

It’s Milou’s turn to roll her eyes.

“Okay! So the only reason I’m saying this is because I won’t be running through the rain and we have nothing else better to do. So yes! I Ruby Matthews have felt like complete shit for awhile now and I’m dealing with it all the best way I know how: On my own. It’s also a number of things that contributed to this icky feeling…that you’re probably right about too.”

Milou gave a quick clap and a thumbs up at Ruby, “well done. See that wasn’t so bad?”

Ruby takes a brief sip from her coffee that’s definitely turned warm opposed to piping hot like she preferred it. She also finds that her hands are shaking a bit as she exhales. “You’re not gonna give me any advice or anything?”

“Well no, unless that’s what you want?” Milou now leans her back against the tree as she peeks up beneath the remaining brown leaves on the tree, “Otherwise I’m just here to listen or be a shoulder to lean on, your choice.”

“That works,” Ruby flicks her hair back, eyes viewing the heavy rain that makes it almost hard to see the other homes in the distance.

Milou wasn’t sure what part exactly but she had a feeling Ruby was still working that out herself.

When she reaches a hand out to Ruby, which she catches from the corner of her eye, the taller of the two quickly latches onto Milou’s wrist, “what do you think you’re doing?”

“You’ve got leaves in your hair,” Milou says making Ruby glance upwards trying to see herself.

Milou innocently raises the fingers on the hand Ruby is currently holding, showing that she doesn’t mean any harm and that Ruby doesn’t have to always be on the defense when it came to her.

However she understood and knew it would take time for Ruby to allow that after being hurt a few times. They probably wouldn’t have forever since time does move faster than you think and there were many missed opportunities as children to be something more but at least they had now.

“Thanks for sharing,” Milou whispers, holding the crumbled leaf to Ruby’s view and flicking it to the ground.

Ruby gazed at Milou for a moment before staring back out at the rain, “C’mon then. The rain looks to have lightened up.”

“You sure?”

“Not really,” Ruby cautiously steps into the now windy air, “but be a lady and walk me home. Then maybe you’ll help me with my hair while we watch wives of Miami…since who knows what kind of leftovers are stuck in my hair from the leaves you kicked at me.”

Milou takes her sunglasses to place on the brim of her hat, “that’s not what happened, I kicked away from us not towards you.”

“Don’t argue just accept the invitation because I do not ask twice.” Ruby held her cup out for Milou to hold while she shrugged out of her jacket to tie the arms securely around her head.

Milou cackled, “you look ridiculous.”

Ruby can’t help but to fight the laughter lines that appear on her cheeks, “so be it but we both know who’s the true fashionista here.”

“Yeah and her name starts with an ‘m.’” Milou hands the half empty beverage back to Ruby who struts back some to pull her bike back up into her grasp.

“Right: M for Matthews.”

“Sure but it’s actually M for Mrs. Milou.”

Ruby snaps her head back to Milou who’s all smirks and raised brows.

Was Milou flirting with Ruby? Ruby couldn’t deny that she found Milou attractive but she wasn’t in the mood to get under to get over.

“Please, don’t flatter yourself.” Ruby makes her way back over.

Milou teases, “You like it.”

“Noooo! Stop talking, let’s get going.” Ruby rushes out with a clear of her throat, hoping that the apples of her cheeks didn’t change hues.

Milou courtesy’s and holds out a hand, “lead the way then, your highness.”

Ruby looks forward after walking by Milou, the now light rain making it somewhat bareable to get through on foot, “I just want to say…thank you for always being around when I least expect it and probably need it.”

“Aw, what are friends for?” Milou lightly bumps her shoulder with Ruby’s.

“Friends? I thought you were coming up with a proposal for me.”

Milou raises her eyebrows at this, picking up on the humor in Ruby’s tone, “at least take me out first then we’ll discuss the details later.”

“Are we not heading round to mine now?” Ruby peeks out from underneath the arm of her jacket on her head.

Milou laughs, “I see. Good thing I’m dressed for the occasion.”

Ruby smiles to herself, “we’ll see…”

Milou frowns at that, not knowing what she was getting herself into with Ruby Matthews but she was sure being caught in any other rainstorms along the way, could bring flowers in the end.

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧

Continue along with my October anthology prompts here.

[feminist-cult-following]

ranking each song on ttpd: the anthology by how lesbian I interpret them as

1. guilty as sin — literally so lesbian. the yearning, the fantasizing, the pining, the insane amount of religious imagery? “what if the way you hold me is actually what’s holy?” “I choose you and me religiously?” I SAW GAY SO I SAID GAY !!

2. but daddy I love him — the word “him” in the title be damned this is one of the most lesbian songs her in whole discography. the romance being forbidden by the whole town is enough for me. I’m just picturing two women in the south who are deeply in love but stuck in a small, conservative town. so so good and so so lesbian

3. fresh out the slammer — I always listen to this from the perspective of a woman who once struggled with internalized homophobia and forced herself into a relationship with a man. once she’s able to accept herself she goes back to her true love. I like to think to it as a sort of sequel to the way I loved you

4. the tortured poets department — I’m not even a gaylor but this song will always be about phoebe bridgers in my mind (just jokes people). but seriously this song is so gay. the title of tortured poets is reserved for lesbians

5. the bolter — for the girlies who dated men before realizing they were a lesbian and always found themselves sabotaging the relationship without knowing why

6. down bad — this is about your first lesbian heartbreak. the one that feels shifted your entire world off its axis and changed you forever. the heartbreak is one you never get over.

7. the prophecy — whatever you do, don’t think about this from the perspective of either a young girl or an older woman who’s too afraid to come out and fears she’ll never find love. it’ll shatter your heart into a million tiny pieces

8. who’s afraid of little old me? ��� I love to think of this song from the perspective of a deeply repressed woman with religious trauma that just came out. she grew up being taught who she was was a sin and all of these feelings of rage and resentment have been bubbling up in her for years. it makes for a very cathartic listening experience

9. the alchemy — okay okay hear me out. I will defend this placement with my life! is it about a man who plays football, arguably the most heterosexual sport there is? yes. but you have to get creative with it. think cheerleader and basketball player who aren’t supposed to be together but can’t fight their feelings! “who are we to fight the alchemy?” is one of the gayest lines she’s ever written and I will die on this hill!

10. peter — the fact that it’s named after a dude doesn’t change the fact that this always makes me think of a girl singing to her closeted ex lover. the yearning, the pining, it’s very lesbian

11. I hate it here — really gay if you interpret the secret gardens, lunar valleys, and inner romanticism through a lesbian lens

12. look in people’s windows — another one that’s really only just because I played it on repeat in my breakup era

13. imgonnagetyouback — this is so that one ex you can’t stay away from because she changed your whole life. it’s about that girl who’s like a drug (and it’s how I manifested my ex back)

14. thanK you aIMee — potentially controversial spot in the ranking but if you think about it as a woman singing to her ex homoerotic friendship it makes sense

15. florida!!! — any collab taylor does with a woman automatically earns lesbians points idc what it’s about

16 the black dog — not overtly gay but this one was on repeat during my breakup era so it will always be gay to me

17. the albatross — this one vaguely gives me lesbian vibes if you interpret it as the narrator speaking to her closeted lover

18. chloe or sam or sophia or marcus— this one is more of a treat for our bisexuals!! lesbians love you mwah !

19. cassandra — the vibes are there but not enough for me to justify putting it above any of the other songs

20. fortnight — as much as I would love to defend this as a lesbian song the lyric “my husband is cheating” and the post malone feature make that hard to do

21. loml — a heartbreakingly beautiful song but not very lesbian

22. the smallest man who ever lived — even though I think of my ex when I listen to this it still has the word man in the title which knocks it down by many lesbian points

23. my boy only breaks his favorite toys — “boy” in the title unfortunately makes this drop a lot of spots

24. so high school — absolute banger but very straight

25. how did it end? — beautiful song but there’s definitely gayer stuff on this album

26. so long, london — all I can think about is joebless when I hear this so no lesbian points for yogurt boy

27. I can do it with a broken heart — this is more girlhood than lesbianism

28. the manuscript — great but very heterosexual I fear

29. I can fix him (no really I can) — this is practically the straight woman’s national anthem

30. clara bow — also not lesbian, but definitely the album’s most underrated song

31. robin — not lesbian at all, but cute song!

[badass-at-fandoming]

Yuri With Women Who Know They're Queer And Are Sexy About It

I'm really happy with this yuri manga rec list I made so I'm cross posting it here :D

Syrup Anthologies - these are short story collections, and each collection centers a different theme (work, forbidden, first time). As far as I remember, none of the stories feature characters totally ignorant of her queerness. I've read these ones myself: they're very good!

How Do We Relationship? - two college students are the only lesbians in their small town. Why not date each other? Will it ever work out?

Our Teachers are Dating! - this one is a more sweet romance, but two teachers date each other, to the cheers of their students.

Love Thy Neighbor - a spicy Korean webtoon about a college student sheltering an older woman on the run from loan sharks. Drama! Messed up relationship! Could be exactly what you're looking for.

Pulse - Thai webcomic about a heart surgeon who has sex purely for pleasure's sake, without any romantic emotion involved. That is, until she meets a certain someone....

If I Could Reach You - a high school student quickly figures out her sexuality when she falls for her brother's wife.

Does It Count If You Lose Your Virginity to an Android? - this one seems more like a straightforward erotica. A high powered office worker drunkenly orders an android maid online...except the android wants to do so much more than clean.

Kill Me Now - webtoon about a hitwoman who kills a mark and "rescues" his daughter, promising the daughter that she can avenge her father when she's older. The daughter grows up and decides to emphasize the "lust" part of bloodlust. Will this toxic love overcome the cycle of revenge?

All the links go to Storygraph, which is a book review site. Best of luck on your reading journey!

[lostlegendaerie]

Hard Copies and Roomies

Back in the day we used to make posts like this so let's give it a shot again, yeah? I'm gonna be attending Nan Desu Kan in Aurora, CO and I'm possibly looking for a roommate or two. More importantly though, I'm gonna be bringing and giving away/Pay What You Want-ing some hard copies of my fanfics seen below:

Render - M/M (JeanMarco) - a near-future SNK AU with themes of childhood crushes, regret and the fight for bodily autonomy in a capitalist society - read it here with an AO3 account

Throw Away The Key - M/F (Yorkalina) - a modern RvB AU with themes of small town complacency vs big city corruption and a slow-burn romance with way too many car accidents - read it here with an AO3 account, cover art by @powerfulpomegranate

Far From Shore - M/M (Sylvix) - a magical period drama AU with xenobiology and themes of anti-war - LIMITED TO FOUR COPIES, RAINN charity print (all proceeds will still be donated) - read it here with an AO3 account, cover art by @telle-graph

Same Soup, Just Reheated - anthology of some of my most popular fanfics, full title list on request

If you want one of these, DM me by August 20 with the following info: the book(s) you want, if you'll pick them up in person at NDK or if you want them shipped, and if you want them signed

If you can't attend and want a book anyway, no worries! Just cover shipping and I'll get them in the mail when I return. (I have stuff to send out to other buddies anyway, oops) As social media crumbles further and the Internet continues to shift, I'm happy to shell out a little of my money just to get my work in people's hands in a form that can't be lost via a DDOS attack.

It is okay to reblog this post to signal boost!

[autism-purgatory]

Poorly Summarized WIP Tag

thanks for the tag @the-golden-comet!

Our Lonely Ocean:

Fantasy romance where closeted a prince comes to an island kingdom to become a squire, where he meets two really odd companions and an even more closeted knight who’s getting married in two months. They get along…ok at first, but will they overcome their rivalry whilst protecting the islands from invasive beas- oop nvm they’re fucking.

Altered_Humanity (AUGMENTED HUMANITY IS BACK BABY WOOOO)

Android wakes up in an overgrown post apocalyptic world and finds out magic exists now whoops. Turns out it was real all along and has suddenly returned in full swing (including giant cathedrals that can be seen from orbit). So said android had her arm replaced with that of her dead human wife who could use magic blah blah blah. Now she has to stop some eldritch elf twink from destroying all that remains of the old world with the help of an annoying hacker and a golem without a tongue.

Viscered:

Single dad who’s actually an escaped bio weapon is like one bad day from killing himself after the death of his wife, but he has a 10 month old son to take care of. Oh, also the government wants their super weapon back.

Loop of the Hollow:

Man that small town in southwest Texas sure is racist. And haunted, like, extremely haunted.

LunuL:

Three bounty hunters in the late 22nd century. Earth was overtaken by a prehistoric pathogen, humanity lives on mars now, aliens exist, you get the gist. Said bounty hunters don’t pay their rent in time and The Horrors TM ensue due to their landlord being a powerful crime boss. Also eyes. Loooooots of eyes. We’ve got a nerd who hates how light sounds, a former soldier who is surprisingly happy despite everything, and Astra, with whatever the fuck she’s got going on. And of course, they each have enough emotional baggage to drag down a plane.

Shadows Over Novald:

Urban Dark Fantasy. Murder Crime Soulmates are about to ditch Gotham but 10 times worse, when the god of death shrouds the city in darkness and asks everyone to find and kill five magic wielding humans in the city or else everyone dies to the undead. While this is happening, the most dysfunctional detectives ever are trying to find another way to break the curse.

WanderStruck: Nephew of closeted knight from before is ALSO getting forcefully married when he and his half sister suddenly get pulled through reality and into…modern day Los Angeles? So now they’re trying to find a way home with the help of some nerd who just wanted an internship at a cool tech company. He had no clue they did multiversal travel and just wanted to type at a desk.

Tales of the Sculpted Lands: A dark fantasy anthology about a land sculpted from primordial clay. It’s a dying, complicated world full of complicated people with complicated problems. Some tales are more adventurous and end happily, others absolutely don’t.

Grayguard: Ah shit I spilled my TOTK copy and my cup of Jujutsu Kaisen. Fantasy world where all magical aspects fall under chaos or order. Humans, animals, and elves are the only exception. Each major kingdom has a guild, one being the Grayguard, who’s leader is the strongest warrior in the land. Everything falls apart when a mysterious demon with magic robots kidnaps her. Now her students have to stumble their way into rescuing her and stopping the major kingdoms from imploding, all while old threats from their leader’s past begin to rear their ugly heads.

And last but not least: Chaos Travelers

The least deranged and unhinged fantasy motley crew come to the island kingdom from before to stop a doomsday cult from resurrecting the god of chaos. Hilarity and angst ensues. Our glorified D&D party includes a humanoid dragon bard with a southern accent, a runaway from said doomsday cult, a cat lady with magic paint who may or may not have sold her soul, and a mute knight with WAY too many knives.

Tagging @mk-writes-stuff @willtheweaver @alinacapellabooks @frostedlemonwriter + open tag!

[tm-trx]

currents.51[2024]

selections from my week in media [15-21 december 2024]

[ reading ]

Hither, Page by Cat Sebastian {4 stars} - "A jaded spy and a shell shocked country doctor team up to solve a murder in postwar England." - I loved this one and this author never disappoints. There's a sequel that's on my list too.

Tic-Tac-Mistletoe by NR Walker {4 stars} - A solid, Hallmark-style holiday romance. It's the first of a series, all set in the same small town in Montana.

[ watching ]

Blossom, ep 12-27 - Blossom continues to be a solidly enjoyable watch that I'm loving a lot. This week's highlights were: the "going off to war" goodbye kiss featured in the opening, a big angsty reveal at the end of 26 that made me go back later to find that quote, and my favorite: Dou Zhao dyeing and dressing Song Mo's hair while they talk politics. Couple goals, honestly.

Perfect 10 Liners, ep 8 - The Cute Boy Page plot kinda fizzled, I think? I know it's been a week, but I don't even remember if Arc found out? Or if he knew all along? If not, that seems like an odd conflict to leave for resolution outside of their main storyline episodes, considering how central it was. Especially with the time jump to year two. Overall though, I have loved their storyline. It's been quite funny and sweet by turns and I really love that they took their time getting together.

This show's pacing is very different than I expected, but I like it. I thought it'd have a more defined anthology format, but I love the framing and how the characters that aren't centered are still around having their own storylines. I'm looking forward to what's next.

Star Trek: Lower Decks {finished: 4.5 stars} - It wasn't a perfect season to finish out the series, but it was pretty darn close. The finale was eminently satisfying and I'm super curious to see how/if the events are referenced/utilized in future Star Trek storytelling. (I don't watch every show, so it's entirely likely that's already happened. Picard maybe?)

When the Phone Rings, ep 5-6 - I spent a few minutes recapping the plot to my partner last week and now I have to wait and watch the eps at the end of Sunday so we can watch together because he's hooked too. The plot is ramping up and I am loving yelling at the tv at the end of the night when the credits roll and I'm left with another week-long wait.

previous Currents posts

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[ao3feed-sambucky]

Hello Stranger

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fizYSlO by Writer_Lethogica A Choose Your Own Adventure tale where Sam Wilson goes back home to be there for the birth of his second nephew, AJ. Bucky may or may not be tagging along. EXCERPT: Sam Wilson walked through the streets of London, watching the jarring mix of new and old; buildings hundreds of years old and newly created; wide gridded streets and narrow, winding alleyways. Sam had been to many cities in his search for Bucky Barnes. Well. He had been to many cities as he visited Bucky Barnes, really. Sam found him the first time around. Lounging in a hole in the wall deep in the heart of Prague. Low lighting; his face only lit really by a candle on the small booth he sat at. Intense eyes on Sam. Sipping on something Bucky would later say was a Czech Mule; a fascinating cocktail that tasted like Christmas. Bucky hadn't been ready for Steve to know where he was then. Sam doubted he was now. And. Sam was a little selfish. He liked his days with Bucky. He liked talking with him. He like - he liked getting to know the man. And there was part of Sam that just wanted to keep it that way. A little bubble. Only for Sam and Bucky. Words: 5, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 2 of Samtember Anthology 2024 Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Sarah Wilson (Marvel), Cass Wilson, AJ Wilson, Jody Casper, Gideon Wilson, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson Additional Tags: some beta we get injured like regular people, POV Sam Wilson (Marvel), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Light Angst, Getting Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Action & Romance, Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Town of Delacroix Louisiana (Marvel) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fizYSlO

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

He’s My Cowboy by

By Diana Palmer, Rebecca Zanetti & Delores Fossen

Two second chance romances with another story with skeletal remains and a murder mystery to solve sees three cowboys connect with the perfect woman for them…eventually.

THE HAWK’S SHADOW by Diana Palmer

Gil Barnes and Nemara Landreth have don’t smile and play nice when they first meet but as they spend time together working the mystery of the bones found in town, realize they have more than a few things in common. I really enjoyed this and loved Nemara’s first meeting with Gil’s pet. Still smiling about that and how the story ended.

RECUE: RANCHER STYLE by Rebecca Zanetti

Tara Webber and Greg Simpson were high school sweethearts that get a second chance at romance in this story. Greg stepped up to take on his son’s teenage children and is doing his best, but things are not always easy. This is one of my favorite authors and I had to read this book – so glad I did – now wonder when the next book about the Cattle Club group will show up to read.

A COWBOY KIND OF ROMANCE by Delores Fossen

Brenna Sullivan and Theo Cameron were also high school sweethearts that broke up at the end of their senior year. They, too, get a second chance to get it right and have their families and the entire town working together to match them again.

Did I enjoy this book? Ye

Would I read more by these authors? Yes

Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington-Zebra for the ARC – This is my honest review.

4 Stars

BLURB

In a charming western anthology headlined by one of the most trusted writers of western romance, three bestselling authors offer stories of sexy cowboys finding their perfect matches.   THE HAWK’S SHADOW * Diana Palmer Gil needs to prove himself in his new role as sheriff’s investigator. That means working alongside a hotshot expert from the state crime lab who’s come to Colorado to help untangle a long-ago mystery.  But if they stop butting heads, they might discover a surprising connection . . .   RANCHER STYLE * Rebecca Zanetti Leaving the Marines and returning to Redemption as heir to the family ranch—and guardian to three wayward teenagers—Greg is in way over his head. But he’s learned some deadly lessons since leaving his first love behind. And when she’s in danger, nothing will stop him from saving her.   A COWBOY KIND OF ROMANCE * Delores Fossen After eight years in the Air Force, Brenna’s hanging up her uniform and returning home to Loveland, Texas. News of her parents’ separation has shaken her faith in love, even if the whole town is eager to matchmake between Brenna and her high-school flame. But never underestimate a cowboy’s powers of persuasion . . .

[tilbageidanmark]

MOVIES I WATCHED THIS WEEK (#192):

TRANCES (1981) is an infectious documentary about the influential Moroccan avant-pop band 'Nass El Ghiwane'. It's like 'The last Waltz' but in Casablanca. A must for fans of traditional Arabic music.

This was the first film that Martin Scorsese restored when he launched his "World Cinema Foundation" in 2007. My 4th Moroccan film. A transcendental experience [with one caveat: They gave amazing concerts to large, ecstatic crowds - and not a single woman in the audience!] This is the 9th film from the Scorsese's list that I've seen. I must remember to come back to it very soon.

🍿

(Another concert, but of a completely different kind: Andrea Bochelli's LOVE IN PORTOFINO. This is for the folks who like to sit in the square by the water when the evening falls, dressed in white cottons, sip white wine while eating fried clams or seafood pizza, while listening to Bochelli's frothy, sentimental baritone.)

🍿

POOL OF LONDON (1951), my 5th drama-Noir from mostly-forgotten master Basil Dearden. Sailors on leave and a jewel heist, as well as a sensitive interracial romance, the first white and Jamaican relationship in British cinema. Crisp on-location scenes and good character development.

Next: His 'The League of Gentlemen'.

🍿

I've developed an interest in the emerging sub-genre of 'Domestic Workers’, mostly movies from South America and Southeast Asia. Many of these are fantastic; 'Àma Gloria', 'The second mother', 'Lina from Lima', 'Roma', 'The maid', 'Ilo Ilo', 'The chambermaid', Etc.

But I did not expect for the documentary YAYA (2018) to emerge as the most touching of this week's movies. A young filmmaker in Hong Kong, Justin Cheung, turned the camera on his own family, to explore their relationship with the woman who took care of him the first 22 years of his life.

Philippine Au-pairs in Hong Kong are some of the most exploited and abused workers in the world. And while his helper-maid was not mistreated, she gave up her own life to take care of somebody else's kids. Recommended! 8/10.

🍿

FELLINI X 2:

🍿 (I have no idea why I never seen this masterpiece.) LA STRADA (1954), is the sad and poignant story of simple-minded Giulietta Masina, who was sold to 'brutish strongman' Anthony Quinn for 10,000 lire. She's a mythic, Chaplinesque 'Fool' who's being abused and mistreated as she joins him traveling round the countryside in their little freak-show. Until she dies of a heartbreak. Its tragedy is accented by Nino Rosi's sentimental score. 8/10.

🍿 THE MAGIC HOUR (2008), my second screwball comedy [After 'Welcome back, Mr. McDonald'] by Kōki Mitani, "The Best Japanese Filmmaker You've Never Heard Of". A failed bit actor gets a job to play a mysterious hit man, not realizing that the movie he's starring in is going to be 'real'. It's a lighthearted meta-film about making a movie, not unlike 'Day for night', but set in some seaport gangster-land. It's like 'Casablanca' but with a Nino Rosi like score. Includes a cameo of director Kon Ichikawa, the last before his death.

🍿

3 MORE BY KEN LOACH:

🍿 THE OLD OAK, the latest (and probably his very last film) from the 88-year-old socialist Brit. A warm and 'humane' story full of small and heartfelt emotions, it kept me in tears from opening to the end. Ordinary people who suffer in so many ways. The inhabitants of a decaying ex-mining town can barely manage to hang on, and now they have to deal with a group of Syrian refugees - "Foreigners!" - who had lost it all in the war, and are being repatriated to their midst. Loach's films are usually about working-class Brits who's been getting the shaft for generations, and sometimes retain their humanity. And so is this one. 9/10.

🍿 “First they called you a terrorist, they they called you a hero”.

11′09″01 SEPTEMBER 11 is an anthology film from 2002. Eleven filmmakers contributed each a segment of 11 minutes and 9 seconds with different perspectives on the World Trade Center attacks. Some of the productions were better than others. Ken Loach had a Chilean exile in London write a letter to the families of the victims with the story of the Chilean September 11 attack of democracy (1973/CIA/Kissinger/Pinochet). In the Iranian segment, a teacher in a refugee camp was trying unsuccessfully to tell her young pupils about the attack. A poor boy in Burkina Faso imagined that he saw Osama bin Ladin in the market, and that he can use the $25M reward money to help his dying mom. Claude Lelouch told of a deaf French woman who sits next to the TV, but misses the news because she can't hear it. A Bosnian woman goes to the scheduled demonstration about the Srebrenica massacre. Etc. A mixed bag.

🍿 TIME TO GO is his 1989 documentary, pushing for British withdrawal from Northern Ireland. I actually don't know more than the average laymen about Irish history, so I need to take a reading course about the "Troubles" and what brought it.

🍿

Another first watch: TRAINSPOTTING (1996). There were half a dozen films which I avoided until now, because I felt, rightly or wrongly, that they are too distressing: 'Requiem for a dream', Lars von Trier's 'Melancholia' (actually, all his movies), 'Salò', 'Funny Games' (both versions), 'A Serbian film', 'Kids', Etc. But now that I crossed 'Come and see' off this list, I also took a stab at this disgusting Scottish Heroin-chic shite-storm. Now I can say that I saw it too.

Well, I like Kelly Macdonald, and didn't expect her debut in an under-aged sex scene... Another plus, an appropriate use for Lou Reed's 'A perfect day'.

🍿

TIME PIECE, a terrific experimental 9-minute short by Jim Hanson which was nominated for an Oscar in 1965. A rhythmic masterpiece: "Help!" 8/10.

Extra: ROBOT (1963), another prophetic Hanson short, precursor to 'HAL9000'. I'm sure that both these films will be mentioned in his new bio-pic.

🍿

2 EARLY FILMS BY LINDSAY ANDERSON:

🍿 THE WHITE BUS (1967) told of a a taciturn young woman without a name who takes a double-Decker bus tour in a city without a future to experience some bizarre scenes without any rhyme or reason. It includes some surrealistic flourishes (A sudden tableaux of 'Le Dejeuner sur l'Herbe', a fantasy about suicide, a long tour in the library where the pompous major keeps complaining about filthy books...). But what is the point of it all?

It was edited by Kevin Brownlow, and filmed by Miroslav Ondříček, But it will mostly be remembered as the film debut of one 30-year-old Anthony Hopkins, as a German Thespian reciting Brecht. 2/10.

🍿 O DREAMLAND (1953) is a macabre documentary short about a loud amusement park in Margate, Kent, and the multitudes of middle class patrons (and their many children) who visit it without much amusement in their eyes. It's melancholy and miserable and dour. 7/10. A fun Fair without the fun. (Screenshot Above).

🍿

"This guy is a one-man crime wave!"

FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE (1926), one of Harold Lloyd's most successful films. Including some great chase and slapstick gags.

🍿

The first time I saw DEREK DELGAUDIO's IN & OF ITSELF, I was blown away. The next 2 or 3 times I thought it was great. There's something that compelled me to return to this Magician-"Mentlist" installation piece again and again. But after 4 or 5 times, i realize what he's doing, and his shtick is not as polished as f. ex. Derren Brown's. Yes, he has a few numbers that looks fantastic (A random audience member picks a random letter from a pile, and opens it to read a personal letter from her dying father... The final sketch where he "knows" what secret cards did each and every member of the audience had picked), but for the rest, he's mostly manipulates us with shaggy anecdotes and tall tales of personal pains. And really, they are not as profound as he wants us to believe they are.

🍿

Hiroshi Teshigahara's HOKUSAI is a 1953 documentary about the woodblock artist, but a bit too old fashioned. I recently saw his 'The face of another', and should have watched 'Woman in the dunes' instead.

🍿

THE SUITCASE was episode 7 of 4th season of 'Mad Men', the exact middle of the series (46/92). I've seen it numerous times, and it's still one of the most emotionally gripping. Jon Hamm will never be as perfect as he was as Don Draper. And it's pretty amazing that he and Peggy Olsen never even kissed, let alone sleep together. 10/10. Re-watch ♻️. [*Female Director*]

🍿

"If there's one thing about me, it's repetition"...

My first by British comedian Steward Lee, his latest LIVE AT THE LOWRY came recommended by Hoots maguire, so here I am. Lee is a different kind of a stand-up: Dry, self-referential, erudite, and circular. His improvisations are jazzy. Recommended.

🍿

2 ALTERNATIVE-QUEER ANIMATIONS:

🍿 THE FINAL EXIT OF THE DISCIPLES OF ASCENSIA (2019) is a strange - and weird - story made by one young Jonni Peppers. It is done very much in the aesthetics, and spirit, of Don Hertzfeldt's 'World of Tomorrow', although it's far from being that coherent. A confused young woman joins an all-women UFO-cult, which, like the Heaven's Gate dudes, eventually "ascends". It doesn't really have a clear message, but it has quiet a few moments of beauty. Peppers is working with Victoria Vincent, whose film 'A dog that smokes weed' I've admired. The two songs she plays are very pretty. [*Female Director*]

🍿 HOW TO FIND LOVE IN AN UNBECOMING AGE, a first film by a young lesbian about hot dating today. Could become a series. 7/10. [*Female Director*]

🍿

3 MORE SHORTS BY FEMALE DIRECTORS:

🍿 3 MINUTOS (1999), a short Brazilian masterpiece. The phone rings in a kitchen, and the answering machine picks it up. A woman's voice is telling him that she decided to leave. Recommended. 9/10.

[This is actually the second film by Ana Luíza Azevedo I've seen. She co-directed 'Barbosa' with Jorge Furtado.]

🍿 LIKE TWENTY IMPOSSIBLES, my first by Palestinian Annemarie Jacir. A small Palestinian film crew is trying to cross a border checkpoint, and is subject to humiliating abuse by the Israeli soldiers. There were other films about the exact topic, the grinding brutality, the hopeless struggle just to stay human - "The cruelty is the point". And this was made in 2003, before the whole occupied territories turned into the big concentration camp it is today.

I promised myself that I will stop watching these traumatic films, and I will. But surprise! When the credits rolled, it appeared that this horrible true-to-life documentary was actually "Fiction"! The ugly film was so realistic, that it was a huge relief to discover it was "Only Art". 8/10.

🍿 THE INCREDIBLE THEFT OF CELINE'S BELOVED (2020), a cute French love letter to Wes Anderson. A 14 year old girl receives a surprise package in the mail. It's as if girl herself directed this story. 6/10. [*3 Female Directors*]

🍿

2 EARLY SHORTS BY RIAN JOHNSON:

🍿 I started watching his heist story 'The Brothers Bloom', but couldn't finish it. Maybe I'll do it next week. Meanwhile I tried -

In BEN BOYER AND THE PHENOMENOLOGY OF AUTOMOBILE MARKETING, the voice of Carl Jung approaches a guy taking a shit with an archetypal explanation through the air-filter vent. The topic? The subconscious meaning of car brand logos. Made for $99 in 2001. With Pink Floyd 'Atom Heart Mother' score.

🍿 In THE PSYCHOLOGY OF DREAM ANALYSIS (2003) a young woman dreams somebody else's dreams. A student film that feels like one. 2/10.

🍿

(ALL MY FILM REVIEWS - HERE).

[txemrn]

Like Ships in the Night

Prologue: We Finally Got It All Right

Welcome to my new anthology series Like Ships in the Night! I am so fortunate to have some amazing readers that enjoy this sweet pairing, and have expressed interest in seeing how fate tried bringing them back together during their 15 years apart. And you know what? I want to see that, too! So... here it is, and I hope you enjoy this adventure as much as I enjoyed dreaming about it and creating it! Each story can be read as a one-shot (unless noted), and--I'm so excited about this part--you are going to see some of canon woven into this. And in true Emily-fashion, it's not going to follow a specific time-line, but you will be able to follow along.

For those of you who are new to Tatum Erikson: this is the infamous "Hopkins Girl"... and in my AU, she and Ethan find their way back to each other.

🔞This collection of stories is intended for mature audiences only. By continuing, you agree that you are 18 years of age or older. TW for chapters will be included with each part. 🔞

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x f!OC (Tatum Erikson-Ramsey)

Series Music Inspo: "Ships in the Night" by Mat Kearney

Chapter Music Inspo: "I Choose You" by Sara Bareilles

Chapter Summary: On the night of their wedding, Tatum begins to reflect about her relationship with Ethan... and about all of the missed opportunities that they had with one another.

Word Count: ~3400

Warnings: NSFW/smut 🍋; language

A/N: Some of these characters/plots belong to our friends at Pixelberry. Huge thank you to my girl @charlotteg234 for helping me choreograph my smut, and to my girl @ao719 for looking over said smut! lol Love you both! Not truly beta'd; please excuse my errors.

~🖤~

Would you call me crazy if I told you I believe in cheesy romance stories? You know the type: the kind where the rich CEO’s car breaks down in a small town, where he meets the shy, yet beautiful local pastry chef with a failing bakery? He inevitably screws things up, but he proves his love by performing a grand gesture–in this case, buying out her bakery to give it back to her. Or how about the age-old story where a woman meets a stranger in a bar, spends a hot night of passion with him, only to find out in the morning that he is her new boss?  Or he’s the son of her boss? Or he’s the crown prince of some made-up country in the Mediterranean? 

Now, before you roll your eyes at me, I know what you’re thinking. Stuff like that doesn’t actually happen in real life. Men don’t go out of their way to make fools of themselves for love. Love has its limits, and the sensation of being ‘swept off your feet’ is nothing more than a trigger of chemicals in your body, supported by the greeting card companies and flower shops.  And let me tell you: I totally agree with you.

Until it happened to me.

When I was twenty-three, I fell in love with the most intelligent, fearless, most handsome man I had ever met in my life. He was strong, yet sensitive; he was quiet, but hilarious.  He was such a colossal pain in my ass. And I absolutely loved him for it. For over three years, our relationship was thrilling, breath-taking, all-consuming and wild. It was the kind of love that inspires love songs and poetry, a love that makes you believe in soulmates and wishing on stars and happily ever afters.  We had no idea what the hell we were doing, which made it so incredibly perfect. He was so incredibly perfect.

Then, I single-handedly fucked it up. Everything that was good in my life, I threw it all away in a single moment. And that incredibly perfect man… I broke him. And the worst part? I changed him. Because of me, he learned to be cold and hard; he learned to be closed off, to protect himself from getting hurt ever again. He lost that spontaneous bright light in his eyes. And love?  He stopped believing in it.   

But, I’ll let you in on a little secret: the story of Ethan Ramsey and Tatum Erikson doesn’t stop there.  It should’ve. My God, it should’ve, but fate had a different ending for us.

“Tate?”

His voice. It still rings like a melody to me, especially with my name dancing on his lips. Well, that and judging from his mumble, his keys must be in his mouth.  His hands are full with a late dinner, and no doubt, Jenner is making it nearly impossible for him to sneak through the door with his excitement.

I give the navy velvet sky one more glance as I turn to walk back inside from our balcony. Pulling the curtains shut, I watch Ethan set the table before lighting a few tapered candles between our plates. He then promptly unpacks the brown paper bags of our greasy, late-night fast food dinner.

Recinching the white satin belt of my short, lace-trimmed robe startles him into a double-take.  “There you are,” he beams brightly at me; he offers a guilty smile as he claps his hands. “Nothing was open at 1:30 in the morning except…” he sighs, “the golden arches.”

Raising a playful eyebrow, I saunter closer to him, closing the gap between us. As I wrap my arms around his thick, swole musculature, his taut, strong arms envelop my own body. He pulls me closer, pressing me lovingly into the flat planes of his chest.

“Mmmm…" I nuzzle into him, "it’s perfect. My husband did good,” I steal a fry.

He smirks before kissing my forehead. He looks at his watch. “It’s been–” he clicks his tongue, “--nine hours? I really hope I haven’t messed this marriage-thing up too badly just yet. Although, I’m not so sure that feeding my wife McDonald’s on her wedding night is being a good husband.”

"I think you're doing a damn good job on keeping her satiated, Mr. Ramsey," I giggle under my breath. 

The man truly is a god. His glorious tongue and nimble fingers permeated secret parts of me during our quaint wedding reception earlier, making us swiftly take our exit during the main course.  Even now after spending four breathless hours making love, I look up into those possessive crystal eyes, and my arousal instantly awakens. God, I need him.

Ethan tilts his head lower towards me, his breath warm on the shell of my ear. “Every touch from you, Mrs. Ramsey, leaves my begging… for … more," he nips at my earlobe, punctuating his words.  The sudden sting ignites a fury of goosebumps across my skin.

And suddenly, I can't let go of him. Feeling the heat of his body against my own intoxicates me like a fine vintage wine. This man, this honorable and selfless man: he is my beloved, my husband, my forever. My soul literally craves just to be in his presence; my being thirsts to be held steadfast in the oasis of his heart. I want to dive deep and succumb to his currents; the height of his love I will never, ever be able to fathom. 

And to think: he chose me. Again.

The silky fabric of my robe slips off my shoulder. Ethan's large hand brushes across my exposed freckled skin, admiring my decollete as if he was experiencing it for the first time. His breath shutters against my chest, his desire hardening against my belly. His mouth presses to my exposed skin as he marks me as his own. The pull from his pout is heavenly; he burrows his face into my neck, his arms hugging me tightly.

I tenderly rake my fingers through his espresso waves, massaging the back of his neck.

"My wife…" he silently breathes against me like a fervent prayer. His hands find the loose knot of my belt, pulling the tie undone with his thumb. The material flounces open, his fingers roaming across my bare curves.

His lips find mine, a slow fire kindling between them. His tongue flirts inside my mouth, swirling languidly around the tip of mine. 

My knees buckle with the abrupt throbbing between my legs, but his arms brace me. We both warmly snicker before I peer up at the gorgeous, chiseled lines of his face. His dark stare is so attentive, so captivated with me; I can feel my heart pirouette in my chest. 

I want him–God, I fucking need him in the most feral of ways. Now. I am his lamb, his sacrifice. I need him to strip me, ravage me, break me, consume me. 

"I thought you were hungry," he growls, tracing my jaw with the bridge of his nose. His eyelashes flutter against my skin; even my toes curl to the command of their gentle tickle. 

My breath quickens, the rise and fall of my chest pressing into his firm body. "I thought you were," my voice softly rattles, painfully aware of his tightly constricted appetite in his sweatpants.

He rolls his tongue across his bottom lip as he tucks a finger under the material resting on my other shoulder. With a careful flick,  the satin glides down my arm, drifting into a delicate cascade until it ripples on the floor around my ankles.

"I am," he cups my cheek, painting his thumb across my own pout. He then drags his knuckles down my exposed body: down my chin and neck, between my breasts and around my navel. He takes a knee, his mouth replacing his hand. He trails sweet kisses down my abdomen before tenderly caressing my sex. I hum as he gazes back up at me, his eyes dark with want. "I am very–" I gasp as he pushes his fingers into my core, "--very hungry." Pulling back out, he lifts his hand to his mouth. He moans in pleasure, his tongue eagerly lapping up my sweet desire.

As he sensually sucks on the tips of his fingers, I greedily steal his hand, bringing it back to my own lips. With a mischievous grin on my face, I kiss his palm before dragging it down to my pert breast. I guide his hand into massaging me slowly, his secure grip finding and teasing my nipples. Losing myself in the vast wilderness of his longing stare, he renders me speechless; the anticipation leaves me breathless. God, just put your mouth on me already...

I drag my teeth across my lips, watching my new husband shiver, unraveling on his knees. Combing my nails behind his ear, he shifts his gaze back to me, and I whisper. 

“Take me.”

Hastily finding the bottom curve of my ass, he takes hold of me, pulling me closer to himself. His hands wander smoothly up my thighs, discovering my wet slit. He tenderly traces my folds, and a sudden ache for more courses through my legs 

His finger grazes over my plumping clit, once… then twice before he circles around again… and then back the other direction. My foot coyly turns inward as my knee curls to shield my throbbing apex from his welcoming intrusion.

“Uh-uh,” he scolds me. He slips my leg out from under me, instantly finding its way over his broad shoulder. I brace myself on the back of a chair as he strums my swollen button. 

My knees quiver with reckless electricity; my body trembles with raw nerves.  My lower belly warms with excitement, euphoria building deep within me. I begin to rub against his hand.

“Ethan,” I gasp, “please baby–”

He stops. As he flicks his eyes to me with that irresistible smirk, he must’ve seen the look of betrayal written all over my face.

“Ethan?”

But before I can get my words out, he scoops me up bridal-style, hurrying me into our bedroom.  He throws me like a ragdoll onto the plush bed before ripping off his undershirt.  I sit up on my knees, my fingers reaching for his waistband. As I lunge closer to take what I want, he grabs my wrists. He crawls on top of me pinning me down, my hands helplessly over my head. 

He kisses into my whimpers, his teeth nipping at my swollen lips. “Such an eager girl,” he snickers, biting my lip again until he gently licks into my mouth. 

Ethan traces his tongue down my body, circling around my nipple before pulling it into his mouth.  Fuck, it hurts so good. One of my hands has traveled to the back of his head, encouraging his rapacious mouth into my sensitive skin. But, he possessively steals my hand from his neck, restraining it useless above my head.

“Stay,” the corner of his mouth turns up as he pants, “you stay right here until you finish for me." He playfully tugs on my other nipple with his teeth before stealing another glimpse of me. "And you will finish on me.” 

His demanding claim on me as well as his overpowering strength sends a chilling ache through my body. My need for him grows fervent, restless, completely starved.  I am his hostage, and only he holds the key to my release, to my pleasure. He is my undoing.

He slips down my body, spreading my legs apart for him. I quake as he spreads apart my lips, and all at once, his tongue drinks me deeply. My back arches against the mattress, as he swirls around my most sensitive area.

My breath becomes ragged as my hips thrust off of the bed. Hoarse mewls escape my mouth as my head thrashes back and forth across the pillow.

Without warning, he glides two thick fingers into my channel, stealing the very breath from my lungs.  Finding the perfect spot inside, he strokes deeply, smoothly, my toes curling with the change of sensation.  

I am overwhelmed; each stroke builds on the last, the intensity obliterating my mind. Is this pleasure? Is this pain? I can’t–I can’t take anymore.

That is until Ethan takes his other hand, firmly pressing it down on my lower belly. The electricity of my desire erupts into a million stars, dancing in my own galaxy. 

And then he slides in another finger.

My mouth drops open into earth-shattering silence as I pump my hips uncontrollably into his hand. My body trembles, hurdling me towards an orgasm. It’s terrifying, and thrilling, and absolutely emotional. I can barely breathe anymore, my inhales catching in my chest as my body cries out. 

But suddenly, as my climax overcomes me, throwing me off the edge to complete ruin, Ethan stops. He grips my ass and swiftly, flips us both over. Finding myself on my knees, my husband’s head is between my thighs, his lips a breath away from my wet pussy.

"Ride me, baby."

He pulls my hips down, the sudden jerk causing me to grab the wooden headboard. His stubble tickles my sensitive skin as my nerves reignite with pleasure. My body melts into him, his mouth instantly finding my deep ache. He blows gently across my throbbing clit before wrapping his mouth around it, giving it a nip with his teeth.

"Ethan!"

A stun of electricity courses through my veins.  A deep burn contracts in my belly as groans of ecstasy escape my throat; my eyes prick with tears of euphoric joy as he strokes me through another orgasm.  My whimpers fill our room as I uncontrollably pulse and constrict around his tongue and fingers. My thighs quiver as I grind my quaking pussy across his hungry mouth.

My knuckles blanch to white as I grip the headboard; glistening with sweat, my body grows limp, begging for rest, begging for oxygen, begging to collapse from my husband’s predatory gleaning of my body… now his body.  

But, he holds me fast and close, his hands gripping firmly to the swells of my ass as he continues to feast on my ravaged center. He tenderly nuzzles me open, his tongue consuming every last drop of my pleasure.

He crawls out from under me, quickly climbing onto his knees to kneel behind my body. His arms snake around my abdomen as he pulls me back into his lap. And I collapse against his chest, my hands finding the tops of his before tangling our fingers together.

Relishing his touch, Ethan presses his lips into my jaw, along my neck, coming to rest on my shoulder. He tightens his hold on me as his mouth finds the shell of my ear, my body lax against his. 

And then I giggle. His soft whispers of the most lovely, the most hidden of secrets saved just for us drip like honey from his lips, his sweet words seducing me in the most intimate of ways.

Turning my head to meet his gaze, our lips brush against one another as we finally relax into each other's arms, laying down against the swirl of sheets and stacks of pillows. Finding a comfortable silence, I can feel his pulse bounding in time with mine as we share the air around us. He mindlessly traces shapes with the tips of his fingers across my hips. His ankles intertwine with mine, and somehow, something so mundane feels so possessive, so intimate. I could drown in this moment, knowing my last breath was him claiming me as his own.

"How?" I sigh, not realizing the actual word escaped from my mind.

"Hrmm?" He rasps, readjusting his hold on my body against his.

I titter in embarrassment. "This. I just can't believe… we're here…"

He nuzzles his nose against my neck. "Just you and me." He takes my hands, gently interlocking our fingers together as he brings it up to his mouth for a kiss.

A thought crosses my mind. And I sit up, leaning myself against the plethora of pillows against the headboard.  Grabbing a sheet to cover myself, I look down at my husband, a pensive grin quirking on my mouth. "Do you–" I sigh, shaking my head. "Nevermind."

Ethan sits himself up next to me, playfully knocking his shoulder into me. "Do I what?" 

"It's silly."

He smirks. "Like that's ever stopped you?"

I swat his arm before wrapping my hand around his bicep, laying my head against his shoulder. "Do you believe... in fate?"

He rolls his head towards me, giving me that look, like I just asked him the most idiotic question on the planet.

"What?" I teasingly pout. 

He raises his eyebrows. "Do you really want to know my answer?" 

No. I chuckle to myself; I know better. I have always appreciated Ethan's ability to remain level-headed. He's a realist, a believer in physical matter. Everything can or will be explained by science. For the most part, I agree with him. Afterall, I am a scientist, too. 

And maybe he's right; the rekindling of our relationship was a complete coincidence. But still… after all of the missed meetings and stolen glances from afar… after all of these years, why now?

He presses a lingering kiss to my forehead. "Tell me. What do you think?"

"Whether or not you believe in fate?"

"No," he rolls his eyes, grinning wide. His deep chuckle reverberates through his body, warming mine. He pulls me gently into his chest. "Tell me, baby," he softly croons. "Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me what's got you thinking about–" he waves his hand in the air as if he's presenting a magical word on a rainbow. "--destiny."

"Not when you say it like that," I pinch his belly.

"Okay, okay!" He flinches, snickering before cradling me closer. "I'm sorry. I'll be serious." I give Ethan a questioning glare until he holds up three fingers. "Doctor's honor."

I giggle as I mindlessly begin to play with his fingers in silence.  I finally sigh because I officially sound like a lunatic, and surely, this beautiful man is about to go get our marriage annulled. "I don't know," I breathe him in deeply, my fingertips grazing through the hair on his chest. "I feel like… now looking back on us, we had so many missed opportunities… divine interventions… I don't know," I snicker at myself because I don't just sound insane; I am insane.

That is until Ethan takes my hand, giving me a reassuring squeeze. "I'm listening."

"What if we were always meant to find each other? Like… God, I don't know." I turn around to face him leaned against the wall of pillows. "Imagine we're heading to work on the T, but we keep missing the stop… and yet, we still end up where we're supposed to go, even if we have to catch another line or hail a cab."

Ethan gives me a skeptical look. "Okay, so… you believe you and I had missed opportunities to be together–"

"I don't know if I believe it… but somehow calling those missed connections, those times that we almost crossed paths again…" I bite my bottom lip, shaking my head. "Rams, how could they just be coincidences?"

Ethan couldn't take his eyes off me; I could tell he was perplexed with what I was insinuating by the way he chewed the inside of his mouth. We fell into a quietness, my question left unanswered. 

I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment. Maybe I was being hyper-emotional with it being our wedding day and all the talk of love everlasting.

After spending a few moments studying my face, Ethan tenderly takes my foot, pushing back the sheet to expose it completely. He lays it on the firm planes of his abdomen as he begins to gently knead his thumbs and knuckles into my arches.

"Coincidences, hrm?" He exhales heavily. "Or fate?" He shakes his head with uncertainty as he strokes each one of my toes. "Tell me a coincidence. One of our coincidences."

Feeling myself melt into his touch, I look down at my wedding band, twirling it around my finger. Taking a deep breath, I lick my lips and begin.

"Do you remember the time…?"

~🖤~

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~🖤~

Thank you so much for your support! Every like , comment and reblog means the world to me! 🖤

[rfallfish]

Anything in the works?

I'm working on the beginnings of a romance novel, but I'm not sure how I'd describe it in terms of sub-genre. It's a slower, more melancholy piece set in a small town with bits of magic. A little man people have seen catching golden fish in the lake, a scarecrow that comes to life on humid summer evenings when the fireflies dance just so...that sort of thing. The idea is to take this slow, simple town and perceive it through the eyes of two friends—a young man who can't seem to feel the magic how everyone else does, and a young woman who doesn't feel like she controls her own destiny. They've been friends since childhood, and as the young man prepares to move away, they find that maybe they're something more.

Outside of that main project, I have a few short stories I can revise, but I'm more interested in writing this sci-fi horror piece about abandonment and scarcity. It's still in the ideas phase, so I don't have much to comment on there.

And, without giving too much away, you might be seeing a new piece of mine in an anthology podcast soon.

[scorpio-marionette]

Hi! I just wanted to say I love all your sweet comments and reblogs of A Baker's Dozen and it really makes my day to see someone read through my fics like that. I'm so happy you loved it and I hope you love the last three parts too! ❤❤❤

And yes, chocolate fondant is the same thing chocolate lava cake, I hope you give it a try, it's the best....

I've had lava cake and I loved it, so that's why I asked 😅

And I'm looking forward to the rest of the series. I'm so in love with it. It has a lovely, homey feel. A small town bakery with a niche clientele while the big city looms outside. It mixes 3 of my favorite things, good food, good coffee, and romance 😍

Allow me to thank you for making such an amazing anthology 🙏🏻