#sloth log

[hungryslothwrites]

oki but what If i got into pokemon

[sloth-sloth-sloth]

emduo aren't my main guys but they are constantly comforting to me somehow. bless all the emduo people y'all's work has brought me much joy

[homunculusalphonse]

the fma 03 homunculi are trans. to me.

[snotsloth]

Working my way through the FFXIV botany gathering log as a way to force myself to regularly practice traditional art. So, here's a fire shard that turned out pretty good!

[headspace-hotel]

so I was running the first paragraph of this essay I hate through google translate, for reasons that are too long to explain, and became very thoughtful about these lines:

Most North American places have shed wolves, elk, moose, brown bears, panthers, bison, and a variety of fish and wild plants, which were all abundant four hundred years ago. Before those species were driven out, there was the slaughter of the mammoth, the ground sloth, the wild horse. The squirrels, rabbits, and sparrows that surround my North Carolina porch are less signs of burgeoning life than survivors of an apocalypse; so are the revenant coyotes that poach chickens and puppies from the neo-hippie farmsteads outside town. 

I was interested that the author mentioned living in North Carolina, a place that is such a stunning jewel of biodiversity. The world capital of salamanders, home to numerous endemic plants including the Venus flytrap, the most biodiverse temperate forest in the world.

I detest nature writing by people who do not engage with nature around them, and worse, denigrate it for being worthless compared to some imagined pristine pre-human Wilderness.

The author grieves the loss of the animals missing in the environment around him, but he does not love or revere the animals that still exist or newly arrive.

The essay goes on to further discuss the extermination of wilderness, the elimination of the human connection to nature, and his longing for a primitive, spiritual sort of connection to land and nature. He presents brief reviews of several books of nature writing, all of which he judges as incomplete for addressing this primitive spiritual yearning. His review of Landmarks by Robert MacFarlane is insultingly egotistical, dismissing the meaning within Gaelic vocabulary because it doesn't give him the sense of "animistic" connection to the land that he wants.

But the author reveals the reason his yearning remains unsatisfied in the first few lines of his essay! He is isolated from the natural world because he has decided the Nature around him, the Nature he can see, touch, experience, and commune with, is "already destroyed" and no longer Nature at all. He refuses to see wildness in the sparrows, therefore wildness is inaccessible to him.

When he thinks of ecological tragedies of the past, or ecological threats of the future, it is all generic: destruction of bison, climate change, losses of species. No sign of intimate communion with the devastating wounds of the land on which he lives: the killing of millions of salamanders in logging, the perishing of the spruce-fir forest due to acid rain... he is tormented by abstractions of ecological tragedy, not the suffering of the land that is his home.

He wants to be deeply spiritually grounded in place....but no, not the place he lives in, some Other place that fulfills all his fantasies of "wildness."

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Bitey-face is a dog game you’ve probably seen and may love: lots of loud open-mouthed posturing and maybe some wrassling. I now invite you join me in experiencing bitey-face a la sloth bears. I grabbed these photos yesterday at the Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle and lost my shit laughing when I saw how they’d turned out. (Open them fullscreen and zoom in on their facial expressions, it’s so worth it.)

I just cannot get over the excessively extra lips.

The fun thing about watching these two play was the clear use of the log to diffuse tension / reduce physical contact. They purposefully set up on either side of it to posture at each other, and then would circle around and wrestle for a bit, before going right back to their original spots.

Shameless plug, I’ll be posting these and a bunch more on my insta.

[naffeclipse]

Always A Hunter

Reader x Cryptid!Eclipse

Commission Info

I have another lovely little request from @counterbalance with the little hunter adjusting to life after F.E.I. and learning how to hunt on their own. There's a setback and discouragement, but it's nothing the cryptid boys can't handle. They will remind their heart what a great hunter they are despite all the changes and challenges.

———

A branch snaps under your foot. You wince as you fear the sound echoes through the dense trees. The forest thickly crowds around you, pressing close as if to suffocate you within its embrace. The shadows stretch blue and little starlight touches the moist earth. 

“Are you alright?” Moon rasps just behind you. His presence is a constant cool against your back, confirming without a word that he is still with you.

“I’m fine.” You glance around and then stare down at the detector. “Just afraid I’m spooking the hidebehind away, that’s all.”

The green dot only picks up the demonic cryptid within the animatronic vessel, not the monster you hunt this very night. You sigh and lower it back down. The screen flashes green. You stare out into the thick columns of tree trunks, wondering what may lurk behind each one.

Moon’s hand ghosts over up your arm. His fingertips press into the flesh along your shoulder and you close your eyes briefly as he tenderly works the muscle. You hadn’t noticed how tight it’s become since you stepped foot into the woods. 

“You’re anxious,” he says. His hand brushes over the nap of your neck to reach for your other side but you straighten and step forward.

“I’m fine.” You glance down at the detector and try to bite back a scowl. “The hideaway is notoriously difficult to document. Though it’s blamed for causing people to disappear in thickly wooded areas, like this, no one can properly describe it except for its hands which wrap around the tree, peeking out from behind—hence the name. It’s said to be animal-like with thick, dark fur on its arms like a sloth, with three long talons on its hand.”

You’re hoping Moon’s presence will cause it to show itself, struck by fear of the demonic cryptid. The unfortunate thought of your sweetie’s presence triggering the exact opposite effect brushes your brain before you shove it aside and stomp forward.

It’s here. It has to be here. You did your research. You collected the best evidence you could find through the internet. 

“It’s shy,” Moon says, then rumbles a deep laugh. “A coward.”

“We’ll take care of it.” You turn back briefly to smile at Moon but it doesn’t quite touch your eyes. Immediately, you feel a wave of cool judgment from the possessed animatronic.

Touching the strap which allows the crossbow to hang on your shoulder, you continue forward.

“No one has ever looked at it directly,” you continue, lowering your voice as you step over a log. In the corner of your vision, Moon steps over it with ease using his long, lanky limbs. “It conceals itself quickly behind anything it can find, including the observer. It takes its victims by surprise.”

“It must be weak.” Moon’s arms hang heavy by his sides as he reaches you. He stares down at you with wide, pale eyes. “We’ve been walking a long time.”

“It’s only been a few hours,” you huff, exasperated before inhaling deeply. “It’s here. I know it’s here.”

You make your way around a tree. A rustle of leaves sets your heart on edge. You stop, eyes darting to what may be movement, but you spy only a lone deer darting through the underbrush. You sink slightly where you stand.

Moon’s hand falls on your shoulder.

“I can’t sense anything unusual,” he murmurs. He stares down at you. The end of his patched nightcap falls over his shoulder, silent despite the bell at the very end. “You need to rest.”

Disappointment snakes through you, leaving you writhing where you stand as you stare down at the detector. It gives no sign of any other presence despite the one in front of you.

“It might not have a heart you can sense, like the vampires,” you say, but it doesn’t sound convincing even to you.

“Maybe,” Moon says softly. His fingers knead softly into the meat of your shoulder that he didn’t get yet. “Take a break. Your heart is fluttering like a bird.”

“Sweetie,” you sigh deeply and rub your temple, not helping your image, “I can’t. The hidebehind has been reported in this area. There was a news clipping about a man who went missing when he went out to cut some lumber, and stories are dating back twenty years ago of something hiding behind trees in this area.”

You step out from under Moon’s reach. You ignore his hand still outstretched, still wanting to touch you as you march forward into the darkness and tree-littered maze. 

Unless you missed something. How does F.E.I. do it? Without fail, they have sent you towards a cryptid using their findings and research. What if you don’t? What if you constantly chase hoaxes and rumors and find nothing but emptiness while real cryptids are out there, terrorizing and killing people? But you had the reports and the stories. You have a missing man. 

Your body heats up as your breath quickens. You squeeze the handle of the detector. Looking out between the trees, you hope against hope to see claws and a wicked creature lurking, ready to attack when you least expect it, but there is nothing. Only quiet shadows.

The first hunt without Vanessa and since leaving F.E.I. should go better than this. What are you doing wrong?

You hear a soft, thick sound of a footstep. Claws sinking into the earth. A presence most unholy. The coldness of a demonic cryptid’s presence washes over you. Before you can turn around, two pairs of arms surround you. 

A limb wraps over your shoulder and another clings to your chest. The lower pair hugs your waist, squeezing softly until you stop. Claws of scarlet and deep blue softly pet over your clothes, not severing one fiber despite the wicked edge that has cut through meat and bones.

“I’m fine, sweetie.” You pat at what you can reach. Their body is oozing and dark, as thick as shadows at midnight. Their large hands easily contain you. You try to wiggle free but they stay firm. 

“Take a break,” a voice, low and demonic, rumbles. You vibrate with the intensity of two voices speaking at once. “We can carry you back.”

“No,” you breathe. “The new snippets were credible. The man is missing and no one has found him yet. It’s been a week. Many locals testify of sensing something in the woods—but never seeing it, only fearing that it’s there, watching them.”

“If it’s here, you can hunt it tomorrow.” Long, inky fingertips roam over you, tracing your hip and caressing the length of your collarbone. “Heart, you’re exhausted.”

You blink. Slumping slightly, the arms support you. A cool breath yawns against the nap of your neck. The softest flick of a tongue swipes the sensitive skin there, and you close your eyes, brow furrowing.

“Maybe the local story was just sensationalized,” you admit. You deflate like a balloon left over from a children’s birthday party. “Maybe I just… got it wrong. Maybe I can’t be a cryptid hunter without F.E.I.—”

“Enough,” the growl at your back nearly makes you jump out of your skin. “That is not the truth.”

“Eclipse,” you say, perhaps in protest or argument, but it sounds tired. You are tired.

“Listen to us.” A dark mouth presses behind your ear, whispering into your hair. “You are a great cryptid hunter. F.E.I. has nothing to do with the aspects of your love for people and your will to face dangers. It’s alright, sweet heart.”

They lower their rumblings into a purr-like vibration that fills you to the brim, soothing the anxieties bouncing off of the inside of your skull.

“This is your first hunt starting anew. It’s alright.”

You lean back into their touch. Their teeth wetly touch the shell of your ear until you shiver. 

“It’s alright if you make a few mistakes.” A red claw softly pats your chest, right where your heart is tucked underneath your sternum. “That does not damper your abilities. That does not take away from who you are, little hunter.”

“Eclipse,” you say much softer. A thickness gathers in your throat. You can’t cry. Perhaps you were on the road for too long and maybe you did walk through the woods most of the night. The exhaustion is sinking into your bones, infecting your marrow. 

“You are strong. You are kind.” A kiss touches your temple—as much as a creature without lips or flesh can kiss you. “You will find a cryptid. Perhaps this one is a hoax or in hiding but regardless, you can keep searching tomorrow. It’s time to rest.”

“But if it’s here—” you start.

“You will find it tomorrow.” Eclipse gives firmly.

You stare out into the darkness. The trees thickly crowd one another, and though there are plenty of spaces for a hidebehind to, well, hide behind, you see nothing. Your detector doesn’t beep. Your skin doesn’t crawl with an unwelcome presence.

Maybe it is here, hiding, or maybe it’s not. It’s okay. You pull in a deep breath as a blue hand wraps around your waist and caresses your side. There’s tomorrow. One bad hunt isn’t the end of your career. 

The heaviness in your chest eases.

“Okay,” you finally give in. The air leaves your lungs and you feel lighter, catching the rich scent of the earth and the crispness of the green leaves caught in a late-night breeze. Your tongue fumbles for one moment, an old, crippling fear returning as you cling to the demonic cryptid hands holding you. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing, heart?” A nuzzle burrows into the crook of your neck. You are gently moved as they press deeper against your throat, and a stray flick of a tongue finds the pulse in your neck.

“I thought I would be better at this by now.” You sigh deeply, staring down. “I thought I could do it without faltering.”

“Every winter has a spring,” they murmur gently against your jawline. “You will do your best. You will have mishaps and mistakes, and you will try again. That is the kind of human you are.”

You make a soft noise when they nuzzle against your shoulder, not unlike a cat wanting affection. You reach up a hand to find their flat, dark cheek. You slip your other fingers between the claws of a deep blue cryptid hand. A soft rumble follows, and you close your eyes.

“But we should keep looking,” you murmur. You’re both here. What if the hidebehind attacks someone when you decide to leave? 

In answer, Eclipse nuzzles deeper against you, roaming over the back of your neck and pressing their teeth gently against your skin. You shiver, feeling the graze of their horns and spikes but never once being cut by the sharp edges. Held gently in large, dangerous arms, you find yourself releasing the anxiety within you that whispers of tragedies and fears, of failures and blood. Tears gather behind your eyes.

One drop spills out of the corner of your eye. A scarlet claw catches it against your cheek, wiping it away delicately. 

“Okay,” you say finally. “Let’s go. But we will come back tomorrow.”

“Of course, little hunter.” Glinting teeth once more kiss your hair, clicking softly against a black hairpin you wear, before releasing you. “Give us a moment.”

Four arms slip away from you, reluctantly trialing over your wrists and hips before finally lifting away. You wait. Looking up between the brief breaks in the green canopy above, you stare at the night sky as stars twinkle with a promise. A familiar sound of footsteps, metallic but lighter, returns to your side. 

Moon’s pale eyes hold your gaze as he takes your hand within his.

“You take care of the scary things,” he reminds in a gentle rasp. 

You smile, almost about to cry. He tugs on you gently, and you follow him out of the forest.

[doubleddenden]

So the stories leaked from gen 4 development are certainly interesting, eh? I'm sure everyone has their own feelings about it- some of you are apparently ECSTATIC about fucking your Machokes. Good for you, my guy. Some are horrified, thinking something's been defiled (it is fiction and most importantly non canon, you're fine, get a grip).

Me? I think the lady (yes, it was a lady) that wrote all of these is REALLY PASSIONATE about her craft, and was also referencing real world mythos and how they portray similar instances- I think we all know that Zeus has probably done worse on all giving and receiving ends of these stories, as well as Poseidon, Loki, and probably some other myths from Europe, China, and definitely JAPAN- key word there. In fact, the Typhlosion story is probably a reference to a similar story about a badger yokai that can alter its face to appear human, and the Octillery story is definitely a reference to- well, tentacle porn is a thing for a reason that goes pretty far back as a way to get around censorship in hand painted porn. The contents of the story aren't really much different or more terrifying than mythos we'd see in the real world (or if you're in the bible belt like me, probably EXPOSED to with morning bible studies before class growing up), and it's mainly just shocking to see it in the context of Pokemon.

And I think that's kind of the point. Sinnoh is already a pretty dark region in terms of lore and myth, and has surprisingly religious undertones considering the family friendly nature of Pokemon and its general target audience. Obviously none of the horse, badger, sloth monkey, octopus, god, or... Lapras fucking made it to the final cut, although in Japan they still reference People and Pokemon being so equal at some point that they could marry- that's even kind of referenced in Legends Arceus with I think a diary written by a man kidnapped by a Froslass? its been a minute, but you probably know what I'm referencing.

I think an interesting question would be "How did we get to these terrifying stories?" Especially Typhlosion and Slakoth.

Its important to remember this: None of this was meant to see the light of day outside that office circa 2003 to 2004ish. Yeah, surprisingly you weren't supposed to see the story of a man fucking an Octillery BEFORE throwing it back out to sea in a rated E for everyone game, and you didn't! You saw it via twitter, reddit, 4chan, tumblr, discord, or your local weed guy who all spread it from someone who got it from confidential office logs we wouldn't see unless someone took that info from Game Freak's darkest depths of other secrets they'd prefer to keep hidden. Every game and media company has this, good and bad, to various degrees of sfw and not. Did you know Disney has an entire vault of actual PORN that animators would make of their own anthropomorphized characters? Locked nice and safely, too... with uh, some exceptions breaking containment, I think?

So with that being said, we understand this is meant to be privileged info only a handful of people were supposed to see. That means they can use words and stuff you normally wouldn't see- Adventure time for instance had Finn and Jake saying "fuck" in story boarding, kinda funny- because its meant to be workshopped and tinkered with, refined until you get something desirable.

In fact, creators will often propose darker ideas than what they actually want so that they can more easily talk censors into an outcome they ACTUALLY desire. Alex Hirsch did this a few times in Gravity Falls' production, and you know Disney was a bitch to deal with (although he probably didn't propose stuff like this, but you get the idea). So this being said- Obviously nobody wants a story about a Typhlosion engaging in a non-con relationship with a minor it kidnaps. Nobody wants to read a story about humans MUTILATING Slakoths for fun and then getting revenge impregnated by a Slaking, only to give birth to a Slakoth and have it killed and thus kill yourself out of grief for your lost child (people reading this without context- ho boy you guys have missed out on some crazy shit that's popped up). So what is okay from here?

Maybe a little Pokemon death after going a while without it and accruing a reputation of being safe for kids? Mention of Pokemon bones being picked clean of meat and put back into a river so it can come back reborn? Some darker undertones of Pokemon being tormented by Team Galactic? How about a story of a boy slaying Pokemon with a sword, but less detail of mutilation of Ursaring and Slakoth? All of this made it into Diamond and Pearl, didn't it? Add in a little Human and Pokemon "Marriage" that is easily scrubbed out and replaced with "eating at the same table" for the more sensitive Western audience, and you have some pretty believable, dark, somewhat uncomfortable but child friendly lore for Pokemon.

Not to mention, a lot of this was probably pitched just to get a feel of the vibe they were going for in the game. If you read back through the stories, bits and pieces end up being used in other, non Poke-fucking stories, or recontextualized. See the above.

While its certainly a relief that they're non canon, it is a rather interesting look at the development of gen 4 lore and actually makes it feel more... realistic, in a way- again, comparing it to real world mythos and religious tales. That, and honestly? The religious backstory is actually, unironically amazing- HEAVILY based on real world religion, but plenty of real world religions steal from other religions and mythos anyway (coughchristianitycough).

Its actually a bit sad, because in any other JRPG, Arceus becoming a wounded woman that an ordinary man cares for, Arceus falling in love with this man because he treated her so tenderly, bearing human twins, the twins becoming Dialga and Palkia to fight some Titan that would become Mt Coronet, and Arceus loving this man so much that she took his soul to create Azelf, Uxie, and Mesprit to spread love and joy throughout the world? That would literally be INSANELY GOOD world building. Plus! Arceus was a human woman when she did this! It was also consensual! Can you imagine what the world would have been like if we had gotten not only FEMALE Arceus- god of all Pokemon universes- but also a HUMAN INCARNATION of her? And this was BEFORE Giratina came into the picture, apparently. If anything, we got robbed a bit of some deep lore and potential story telling from this being cut, imo.

But one more thing to consider is this: All the stories, even if they did make it to the final cut, would still be stories within a story. Fictional folktales within a fictional setting. If we judge the above by how relevant the ACTUAL content that made it into the games were to the actual overarching plot... It'd be overall kinda useless beyond some flavor text. That's kind of the sad fact of it. Pokemon Players especially, grown adults too, are not exactly known to be well read and some play the game by rapidly A pressing every ounce of dialog they come across, even in brand new playthroughs. I'm sure some remember that one idiot on twitter that thought he made the discovery of the century when he found Snowpoint Temple in Legends Arceus, right? So understandably, especially when you're working on a clock, on limited space, on new and unfamiliar hardware, and trying to be as broad and reachable to audiences as you can- things get cut. Even... Some of the coolest lore building of all time SERIOUSLY A FUCKING PANTHEON WHAT THE HELL.

And I lied, there is one more thing to consider, especially for anyone actually morally offended by some of the content mentioned- Keep in mind that this is in 2003 to 2005ish Japan, with Game Freak (who we know are pretty out of touch in some regards, even by today's standards), before twitter, before tumblr, during a more edgy time for... well, everyone alive at the time, and especially adults. That's 20 years ago. Some of you may not have been alive at that point (did you finish your snacks and juice, lil guy?), some of you probably had a lot of your formative education influenced by the more puritanical side of tumblr or twitter, but it was simply a different time and place. That's it. The people involved in this have moved on and have probably grown into better people, and probably haven't made more fics like this. Maybe. Who knows. It's fiction anyway, and nobody real got hurt from it, and that's what's most important at the end of the day.

So that's my thoughts on it. I think I'm more annoyed by the fact that one of my favorites got a worse Vaporeon treatment than anything, and there's possibly the risk of Nintendo/TPC/Game Freak overreacting and gatekeeping Typhlosion out of the games for a bit. Sigh. My first pokemon, man. Well, anyway, try not to take it too seriously if you see the jokes and memes about it. It'll pass.

But hey, sexy Latina Skyla is canon! Shadow the Hedgehog wins!

[redphlox]

No matter how bnha ends, I'm grateful that I became invested because it brought me joy, and it gifted me the euphoric experience of getting to know one of my favorite characters ever: Touya Todoroki, Dabi. I will always love him, and he will always have a special place in my heart. Nothing can change that or take that away from me. Shouto, too. The soba brothers are eternal to me.

It's so typical of me to be drawn to the mysterious, cold, brooding characters, haha. Shouto and Dabi immediately captured my attention when I first watched/read bnha with @fox-conscious. I took a break from following the series for a few years until November 2020, when I casually logged into Tumblr after months of not checking and saw chapter 290 Dabi's Dance leaks. It must have been fate. Suddenly, I was fully immersed in the manga again, excited that the obvious familial connection between my two favorites was officially confirmed. This reveal reignited my excitement and gave me something to focus on and look forward to during a challenging first semester in grad school, when I was on the cusp of realizing I needed professional help for my eating disorder.

To deal with the stress and have fun, I turned to reading and writing meta, and trying to make friends to share the experience with. That's the most important thing that has come from following this series... I've met so many incredible people who mean a lot to me:

@haleigh-sloth has become a really dear and close friend of mine. We met because of this manga and bonded over crepes, breakfast foods, pasta or ramen dinners, shopping at the mall, swimming in the river, walking her dogs, sleepovers, traveling, and road trips because of our shared love of the characters and story. We are basically the same person and constantly say the same things at the same time. Through the ups and downs of school, work, moving, and even now, we've always had each other's backs and shared countless moments of laughter and ugly cackling because we can't take shit seriously, ever. She's one of my best friends for life and I can't imagine NOT having her around!

@todomitoukei was one of the first friends I made in this fandom. I can always count on her to make the funniest jokes I've ever heard, especially during a completely serious conversation, and I'm astounded how smart, quick-witted, and talented she is. Truly an inspiration. I always look forward to seeing notifications that she messaged me because she brightens my day <3

I've had the great pleasure of meeting and hugging @hamliet TWICE! She has a generous heart and an inviting, calm aura. Her kindness and intelligence are remarkable. I genuinely enjoy discussing all sorts of topics with her, both silly and serious: life, hopes and dreams, fears and daily struggles, funny memes, reading and writing. I also love seeing her pet photos and can't wait to meet them in the future.

@transhawks is truly my most insane friend, and I say that lovingly and in the most ironic way because he's level-headed, creative, articulate, and self-aware. I'm always learning from him. I can talk to him for hours and never run out of things to say, and I always look forward to his insightful commentary about anything and everything.

And of course, I'm grateful for all the discord shenanigans with my friends: watching the anime together, voice calls, memes, sharing ideas, etc. @chocolate-biscuit who always pops into the chat with funny one-liners that leave me cackling for days when they flash in my head randomly, @bootlickerhawks who is the bestest horse person ever and I get excited to see on my dash, @helga-grinduil who is the saltiest and funniest person on this hellsite and also happens to make the best bnhaedits in this entire fandom, @jecook who is one of the sweetest people I've ever met and can't wait to read fix-it fics from, @mettywiththenotes who sends cute dog pictures and makes the most hilarious memes. Together we are all unhinged, and I love it. Despite living in different time zones, different counties, we've all create a fun space to cohabitate, and I think that's really cool and beautiful.

Hmm. Looks like the real treasure was the friends I made along the way, and the shared trauma of having our favorite characters mishandled by their creator was worth it. Can't wait to keep writing fics, making memes, and making new friends like @shortstrawberryshake because of this manga. And, I can't wait to keep loving Touya and Shouto Todoroki, of course <3

[lu-is-not-ok]

Glad to hear you’re back, you’ve been my favorite Limbus analysis blog that I follow! I’m curious to hear if your thoughts on the Sins meanings have changed now that a lot more IDs have been released since your original Sin Analysis post!

The new IDs themselves don't contribute much to my understanding of Sins, however what did contribute was the names of the Sin Affinity-related Floor Theme Packs for Mirror of the Wuthering!

These are like. The most direct sources of information on how Project Moon understand their own Sin System! This is huge! Treadwheel Sloth directly correlates Sloth with obedience! Unbound Wrath and Emotional Repression (plus some stuff in stage 3 Wrath Peccatula Observation Log) directly correlate Wrath with wanting to break out of being trapped!

I'm still trying to properly format my thoughts on the whole thing (and having to sped three days in a row speedrunning through a shitty online course for college isn't helping), but rest assured, when I do return to doing analysis content, Revised Sin Analysis is the first on my list!

[oceanlipgloss]

MILK

BELPHEGOR.

+ warnings: angst, strong language.

+ my mc is the heroine, so the pronouns are feminine.

Milk helps put souls to sleep. Mouths like to drink it hot. White that once clouded clear glass with twists of steam slithers down throats and pours into stomachs. It’s been that way since old times and the dawn of history, perhaps—a tradition in many households.

As a general rule, children love their nightly pint of hot milk. As grown-ups, many of them cherish it. The liquid had followed them, after all, flowing behind them into good ol’ dull adulthood.

Now he, normally he never needed silly methods like that. No ‘sleep-helpers’ for him, thanks. His organic chemistry championed the slumber department.

Just not that night.

In those star-flecked hours, he just couldn’t sleep.

Dry flakes of milk dotted the glass to his right. Under the lamp’s light they had looked like a blueberry mix: violet freckles, lavender stars, purple planets.

Even with his head in her soft lap, her fingers in his uncombed hair, and the exhaustion slowly glazing the inner chambers of his veins, he couldn’t make himself doze off and away.

Maybe his body would not surrender to sloth because of her presence.

He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, but his brain was as alive as an electric wire is: a curly leech pulsing with its own sort of glimmering currents and glistening life. There was an entire galaxy in his mind. A milky way.

Something was flicking blurry nightmares at his soul.

His tired eyes watched. Fake planets moved lazily above him, in a perfect circle, almost as though they were doing their own ritual. The ringed one in the middle had to be the oracle. No one knew anything about the little magical meeting. It was amusing; even still objects can do things they want.

He thought of fairy dust.

His head was spinning. He felt dizzy. Not physically. Something inside him was twirling around itself, spiralling. Would anyone understand? If he tried explaining. Would they know what he meant?

One hour, two hours, three. After each other they passed. He could hear her soft breaths. His fingertips pressed against her cheek. Pillow-soft. Someone else would’ve compared it to a marshmallow. A dent formed between her brows. His skin was cold.

Counting stars was too romantic. Rosy. He was in a black mood. Back to the classics: he began to count sheep.

One pink sheep, two pink sheep, three...

Everywhere in the universe, creatures resort to many of the same things, it seems.

It wasn’t that late when the answer came to him. He hadn’t ever lost it, not really. He hadn’t even needed to look. It had been there all along, the thing nagging at him. It crawled to him by itself, on its own hands and feet. It was a fear.

Again he remembered that, years from now—hopefully many, many years from now—on a sleepless night like this, he would be yet another insomniac lying in his bed or on the floors.

Alone.

That night he just couldn’t sleep well. He dreamt of fading stars and planet collisions.

Hot milk helps put souls to sleep, does it? Fuck hot milk. It didn’t do shit, did it?

+notes: I honestly didn't want to log in, but I like to post fics the day I write them on 'cause I don't write dates down next in my notes and instead use Tumblr as a sort of accurate timeline to keep track of when I wrote something/last wrote anything at all my AO3 dates have mostly not heard of accuracy (transl.: since I'm somewhat writing again now, this may very well be repeated). Anyways *quietly sneaks u 100mg of existential horrors*

+ MASTERLIST

+ AO3 POST

©𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨

[hungryslothwrites]

i like my men the way i like my women

fictional

[battle-of-the-birds]

Remember to read about the contestants before voting!

Harpy Eagle

A big beautiful Queen of the jungle, the harpy Eagle lives in Central and South America, and are the National bird of Panama. They are the top predator, with the largest talons of any living eagle, which they use to prey on sloths, opossums, and monkeys. The females are larger than the males and they mate for life! However, these beautiful birds are near threatened due to logging and poaching. Learn More!

Superb Bird of Paradise!

This little dancing bird should be recognizable to most internet patrons. Their distinctive dance, in which their feathers form an elliptical disc around their face with the vibrant blue popping against the dark black as they hop about the female, is mesmerizing to say the very least. The female to male ratio is considerably different, and with there being less females to woo, this gives the males a better incentive to have an elaborate dance. Learn more!

(Harpy Eagle picture by Simon van der Meulen) (Superb Bird of Paradise by BBC / possibly Doug Allan?)

[melliae]

Refraction Railway Line #2 Abnormalities Part 2 (Analysis)

In Order to Survive

“We must sometimes become selfish things, full of animosity if it means our survival. Sometimes, we make others suffer so that we may not.” - Dante, Station #6: Exploitation, Refraction Railway Line 2.

In the same vein as King in Binds, Shock Centipede is an Abnormality that bares its meaning openly. It’s not a secret about how the Centipede represents the brutality of living, about how you sometimes have to make other people suffer to get what you want. The sections of Canto IV’s final dungeon previous to its fight make it clearer, showing how Dongrang sold the League of Nine, and how K Corp. (and Alfonso in particular) decided the new protocol for tears’ production.

However, while presenting such a reality as a tragedy, the MD encounter implies it’s necessary at some level, because causing the Abnormality pain is the only way to produce vital items such as a battery that powers mundane activities and electronics (that’s, a standard-duty battery), or an automated electronic defibrillator without apparent limits. Yet, it also tells us that just because the results are useful, the process doesn’t stop from being fundamentally evil in the end, and that we shouldn’t abuse it unless you want the Centipede—the victim—to do more than merely bite your ass. They, too, want to live.

Now, I obviously can’t answer that ethical problem. You are free to make whatever choice you want, but keep in mind to not deny the evil you are committing in case you decide to “push the button”, because the Centipede is keenly aware of it. 

But moving from Shock Centipede’s meaning into its overall nature and attitude (because I really don’t want to end things too soon), it’s impossible for me to not compare it with two Abnormalities of the Railway that I previously analyzed: Drifting Fox, and STNOWC.

Beginning with the Fox, the first thing that should catch your attention is that they share two out of three Sin affinities, those being Gloom (in the normal encounters; not so much in RR2) and Gluttony. That’s to say, they both have the same focus of a desperate survival, doing whatever they can to avoid/survive the pain that continuously assaults them. But whereas the Fox is ultimately unchanging, hopelessly waiting for that show of true affection, Shock Centipede is characterized by a deep Envy that—beyond its association with electricity—points at how its mind has become thwarted by its captivity, to the extreme that the Abnormality can only think of how much it resents and envies everyone else during its last moments, forsaking its primitive drive to survive.

Regarding the weaknesses and resistances, I think it’s relevant to note that both Abnormalities are extremely resistant to Wrath and Envy, likely due to the two just being used to being abused and mistreated, wondering who could even envy their situation. In contrast, their shared weakness to Gloom means how neither of them have any defense against the despair and suffering they feel beyond thrashing wildly, desperate beyond belief; the same cannot be said of the Centipede’s unique weakness to Sloth, likely referring to how being indolent to its situation is anathema to its essence and instinct of survival, as seen with every single one of its passives

“Did you know...? Apparently, centipedes' nerves stay active and go wild for a good while even after their heart stops beating. This one's the same.” - Gregor, Abnormality’s Observation Log #3.

Literally, all the Centipede’s passives are an in-the-name thing, just as much as Faelantern’s. I suppose all the “Persistence” passives are more related to the Abnormality’s extremely durable exoskeleton than its electricity, but they are still obvious.

Now, moving into STNOWC, the main difference falls into the position of the trapped being: the Doll allowed itself to be trapped out of a misguided love for others, while the Centipede… Well, any ounce of love it could have potentially had is now but history and dust. The only thing remaining behind those adamantine plates is pure resentment and envy born of the ruthlessness needed to survive over all others. Nevertheless, don’t get confused: Shock Centipede isn’t wrathful per se, despite all the anger towards its captors, it… just envies you, for being able to be free and live however you want.

“The centipede writhes as if to coil up. The Shock Centipede's body is starting to coil up into one spot. "It seems electricity is gathering." As the Sinner pointed out, sparks are flying from the center of its coiled body. It might be a good idea to stop it.” - Mid-Combat Event.

And maybe that hints at why the affinity for the Event above is Envy, because surviving in general breeds all forms of jealousy within everyone involved, at how easy “they” have it thanks to the things and opportunities “they” have and others—you—don’t. Thus, from those seeds, a cycle emerges, of people endlessly abusing and utilizing each other, bringing each other down so they can rise triumphant—all the while ignoring the poison they have accumulated under their feet.

Interesting, really, how the exploited Centipede can easily become part of this cycle when driven entirely by its instincts and feelings. But then again, it’s not as if you were any different, weren’t you? It may be impossible to erase the curse of life, and we will one day have to confront it and take our choice. Whatever path you take, however, keep in mind a single thing: don’t deny the consequences of your action—don’t deny your “evil”.

Sensual Decadence

“The Fairy Gentleman spoke with a jolly laugh. ‘Huhu... Didn't think this much would be gulped down.’ A short hiccup could also be heard. ‘I admit, it caught me off guard a tiny bit... Just a tiny bit.’ The fairy then puts the cup in his hand to his mouth.” - Mid-Combat Event.

Absinthe is one of the most famous and influential liquors or spirits in the entire history of the west, and with good reason! It was cheaper to produce and buy, and thus was sold like hot cakes when the great french wine blight hit Europe around the second half of the 19th century. Hundreds and hundreds of gallons were consumed daily by the common folk, and it was extremely well received in artistic circles, to the point of being the signature drink of painters and writers alike, like Vincent van Gogh or Ernest Hemingway.

However, such popularity ultimately spelled its doom because, for reasons I won’t go into, absinthe was reported to cause all kinds of hallucinations and delusions, as some sort of magical source of inspiration. The reputation grew and grew, and more myths and stories were added, like it causing mental illnesses or driving people to commit all kinds of crimes and atrocities. By the mid 20th century, absinthe, the so-called “green fairy” thanks to its emerald color and infamous reputation, was finally banned, and only in recent years it has had a resurgence due to its legalization in many countries.

Now, I suppose all of you are wondering why I explained the history of absinthe, and the answer should be obvious if you had any encounter in the MDs with Fairy Gentleman. After all, its first EGO gift, the only one obtainable without fighting, is a glass of green spirit, with the characteristic spoon and all. Taking into account this, along with the Fairy’s gracious attitude, its meaning reveals itself once more.

“I hope you have been well since we conversed last. I see flowers bloom outside, and the birds chirp every now and then. Though the scents of flowers spread as they like, they create a rather sweet smell once mingled in one place. I wonder if you have taken in such a smell.” - Yi Sang, Blossoming League of Nine Littérateurs, Canto IV.

“All that I ask… is to keep this as a moment of laughter, solely between us.” - Yi Sang, Blossoming League of Nine Littérateurs, Canto IV.

It’s abundance and happiness, the joy that one derives from sensual pleasures and sharing them with others, not so dissimilar to how the League of Nine was during its first “days” in District 20, akin to children discovering and feeling the world in all its glory through their senses. They became enamored of what they discovered and showed between them, just like the artist (supposedly) did with the visions and inspiration given by the green fairy. Yet, for external eyes, such joy is no different from debauchery, a slavish and animal-like attraction to the appetites of the gut (or of the mind, in the League’s case).

However, while the League of Nine was an innocent group, devoid of any malicious intent, Fairy Gentleman is… Well, Rodya explained it best.

“I mean, as soon as our eyes met, he flew up, like swoosh~ all of a sudden and then squashed me with the mouth on its belly! Like, splorch, y'know?” - Abnormality’s Observation Log #1.

No matter how nice and polite the Fairy actually is, when its desire and hunger reach their maximum, it won’t have any second thought about satisfying them. That’s why its most powerful skill is Lust-based, because it’s already as drunk and satisfied as it can get, yet it keeps on asking for more and more, to the point it will devour its “privileged guests” due to them simply being there, emanating that sweet smell that it’s craving.

Again, it’s not that the Abnormality is a bastard or something; it’s just that it doesn’t have any temperance, lacking any and all control over its appetite. That’s the reason many of its skills are Gluttony-based, trying to fill its empty stomach, as well as it being resistant to Lust and Gluttony. Though, if you are lucky, you may be able to convince it to control itself for once during the mid-combat Event, by simply imposing your necessities over its. The Fairy, more than anyone else, should know how being hungry sucks.

Outside of this, I think it is important to note the strange relationship the Fairy has with Envy. Its only Envy skill, “Not This Time!”, is an obvious reference to how it doesn’t want to lose the Wine to you once more. But its affinity to Envy is more complex, since it’s resistant to it in normal encounters, while being weak to it in RR2. That’s to say, it doesn’t care about how other people feel about it as it keeps moving around like a “bully”, yet it also finds itself flabbergasted once other’s resentment—their wrath and bitterness—hits it in the face. If anything, it seems the Fairy in RR2 is more “infantile” in a way, and prideful as well, not aware of all the damage it is doing; the one found in the MDs and history mode is more mature, knowing what to ignore and when, unless they simply refuse to move and be moved, and force themselves into it.

“The glass in its thick hands clatters to the floor, spilling fairy limbs and green fluid everywhere. 'Some visitors you are! How rude!' The mouth on the blob's abdomen splits open and spews sour fluid in our direction.” - Abnormality Encounter

Like when you make it drop its precious cup and wine! Fairies really love their drinks, did you know? That’s more or less the idea behind the “fairy cup” motif, stories about how a person is offered a drink by “the little people” or fairies, but ends up scooting away with the cup. It’s not exactly a precise comparison, yes, but I still wanted to mention it, since it’s a Fairytale Abnormality, and the contents of said stolen cup tend to have magical properties, or are simply acid—classic fairy move.

Finally, in regard to the passives, most of them are pretty self-explanatory, with the only remarkable one being “Stimulating Smell, Isn’t It?” due to the implications of Fairy Gentleman using its body to produce its putrid-smelling liquor… 

Imagine having so little control over your cravings and desires, letting them direct your every action to the point you mutilate and cannibalize your own body solely to feel satisfied. Fairy Gentleman is no different from an animal solely guided by its “erotic” and primitive instincts, not unlike Faelantern. And in the same vein as the latter, that may be the point of the Abnormality: a “fable” about the risks of going overboard with your appetites, whatever those may be, for if you obey them without question or thought you’ll end up destroying yourself spiritually and physically, longing for the filthiest of things.

You are a human with a soul—so much more than a fairy. Please, learn to use it.

Civilized Pretence

“If that's the case, the reason it makes the clover tree to grow... is to keep us from being hit by the harmful rain so that gains more benefits when eating our flesh? To... make its meals tastier. Ugh, I really think that thing doesn't deserve to be called a fairy.” - Ishmael, Abnormality’s Observation Log #3.

And here we have another tricky and predatory fairy!

At first glance, Fairy-Long-Legs is really similar to Faelantern and Fairy Festival, feigning kindness in order to trick and get close to their prey. Yet, one would be hard-pressed to say the latter two are exactly the same as Long-Legs, when this last Abnormality is much more civilized than the rest of its kin, especially when compared to its easily tempted companion. Its behavior is unmatched in terms of patience and elegance between the fairies, always taking time to “care” for its food’s flavor and bringing itself with dignity when taking chunks of flesh from it. Damn! Even its Pride-based guard animation has a certain grace to it!

But no matter how much a fairy pretends to be civilized or cultured, it is and will keep on being a gluttonous fairy. The summoning of giant clover is just an extension of that: a needed step so it can fulfill its desire for “quality food”, as seen with the rest of skills being Lust- and Gluttony-based. Even its pride at the end should be no more than mere vanity, regardless of how that disposition shows certain evolution in the fairies’ behavior and “culture”, because it’s solely reactionary.

In regard to the rest of the Abnormalities’ elements, the most noteworthy ones are the affinities, as usual. Particularly, its weaknesses to Envy, Wrath, and Gluttony during normal encounters tells us that Long-Legs is not used to being on the receiving end of being hunted, being filled with all sorts of curses and resentment. That may be too problematic for its taste, likely preferring more lazy prey that won’t fight back, that won’t challenge it and make it exposed to the rain, despite its lack of any Gloom-related affinity… And yes, that last part is the reason behind the Gloom advantage of the “weather the rain” option during its MD encounter, following a similar logic to Drifting Fox; the Gluttony advantage focuses more on the necessity of overcoming the rain, in the goal that lies after it.

Now, moving on to its RR2 version, Long-Legs’ affinities change when you confront it, in the same way as Fairy Gentleman before. Neither Wrath nor Gluttony seem to take it by surprise anymore, almost as if it expects to be hunted and preyed upon too, if the new Gluttony and Lust resistances are something to go by. Nevertheless, it still doesn’t like to be mocked, as seen with its new weakness to Pride and the conservation of the old one to Envy.

And thus, returning to one of the previous points I made, I can only conclude that Fairy-Long-Legs is a “tale” made to represent the risks of when the advancements of culture are solely guided by instinctual, gross needs, not unlike the animalistic joy of Fairy Gentleman. This naturally paints an interesting picture of what Fairies mean within Project Moon’s universe, from the fully instinctual, simple-minded Fairy Festival to its two, more elegant “cousins”: parodies of humanity’s susceptibility to their own desires and cravings. But again, that much is obvious, no? Library of Ruina already went about it through the Floor of History Realization, about how “nothing in the City is made out of pure goodwill”.

From kidnapping people and sometimes replacing them with “copies” that are “off”, to the common but unfounded myth about having no soul, Fairies, as a concept, will forever act as dark mirrors of humanity’s most cruel and animalistic tendencies. Maybe that’s the reason behind the “Long-Legs” name, for a Daddy-Long-Legs isn’t necessarily a spider to begin with; it can also be an arachnid that, despite being inoffensive to humans, is eerily similar to spiders.

Instead of being fully “alien” creatures, Fairies may be a lot closer to us than we like to think.

Note: Following the pattern I pointed out in my previous post about RR2, the buff related to Fairy-Long-Legs seems to be “Accelerating”. But beyond the shared color and the focus on legs, those two don’t share any mechanics. I’d like to point out that there’s no boss in the entire Railway that’s tied to speed or Haste, beyond Fairy Gentleman and its Wine, so there aren’t many options to choose from…

OSHA's Worst Nightmare

“This stranded employee was approaching us, preparing to go through the motions.” - Abnormality Encounter.

Everyone hates their job… Well, not everyone, really. Not remotely close to everyone. But still, it’s a famous sort of joke or snarky appreciation about all the awkward situations in which one ends up thanks to the attitudes of coworkers, bosses, and those despicable, all-withering beasts we commonly call “clients”. Needless to say, the City isn’t an exception, with all those daily massacres and use of literal human resources.

However, from among all Districts and Wings in Project Moon’s universe, from among all ways of life and works, the one who holds the crown of hateable jobs—the holy grail—is none other than W Corp. and its cleanup crew. There’s literally no character that actually likes working on cleaning the mess inside warp trains, with the sole exception of Ryoshu (and maybe Mersault, but he doesn’t like it either). The work is vomit-inducing, the knowledge is abhorrent, and the only solace is the absolute resolve to never take a warp train.

… Still, work is work, especially if they come from a Wing—no one really wants to die of hunger or worse, after all. So in order to survive, getting our hands dirty is just a small price. Though, the nagging envy and dissatisfaction will never quite disappear, no matter how much time passes. But that’s a part of the job—of any job.

Such is the meaning behind Wayward Passenger, the trauma W Corp. has caused on every person who has used its trains and those who work in them, but especially the latter as seen with the new options added to its MD encounter. That’s why it only has Gluttony and Envy skills, for the W Corp. cleanup agents want to be anywhere else but there, in the trains, yet duty bounds them. They simply do not have any choice in the matter. It wouldn’t be a surprise if they even envy the passengers, who are made to forget about all that happened, continuing their lives without worry.

(And yes, the Envy skills in this case also have the usual relation with electricity/energy. Its blades are literally energy, and it has to spend it to regenerate them in the same way it does with its Dimensional Rifts).

Outside of that, it’s quite interesting to see that Wayward Passenger is weak to Lust and Gluttony—to love and survival. It seems the Abnormality doesn’t take it well to be reminded that the “things” it’s dealing with are living beings too, able to love and, more importantly, fight for their survival. While the Passenger may be able to distance itself psychologically from its “workload”, it isn’t perfect, never reaching the indifference proper of Sloth.

On the other hand, its resistances are nothing too special. The Envy one in particular is obvious, since Wayward Passenger already shares the same feeling—nobody wants to be in what is basically the bloody bowels of hell. As for the Pride resistance, it goes hand in hand with its weaknesses: the expression of love and the instinct of survival are terrifying things to witness in this line of work, but pride… to defend oneself through an empty sense of self-grandiosity is simply irritating, not arousing a single bit of compassion or doubt.

And finally, there’s the Sin affinities during its Encounter, which are surprisingly easy to understand as well. You either pity and/or love Wayward Passenger enough to entertain it and make its work easier, or you just simply don’t care enough and want it gone as soon as possible, pointing to whatever direction you find convenient.

Hellish work indeed. Horrible workload, and horrible customers. I wouldn’t even touch it with a 10 feet pole… But if there’s genuinely no other option, we should at least make it a little more pleasant for others, don’t you think? It may not be much, but trying to acknowledge the humanity of what we have in front of ourselves is a step up from ignoring it, from turning into resentful monsters that wander through the endless possibilities of life solely with their eyes, squandering our (one) true path.

It’s not about defending or taking pride in your work, necessarily. But about seeing what’s in front of you, what you can actually seize and not lose.

Note: And here comes the second-to-last enemy buff from the Railway, “Opportunistic”. Just like Steam Machine’s “Hardening”, the symbol of “Opportunistic” is one of the blades from Wayward Passenger.

Sign of Roses

“What does this signboard say? It hangs itself on a tree, trying to make its content known. Its desperation is almost pitiable.” - Abnormality Encounter.

I already commented this many times in my theory posts, but I suppose doing it a third time isn’t that unwarranted. After all, the relationship between the nervous central system, the psyche, God, and the archetype of the Self is an important symbol and topic in the game.

And yes, all the previous images are connected one way or another. And the main connective tissue is, naturally, Jung’s theory of the mind: analytical psychology.

Jung was a student of Freud originally, postulating that the unconscious contents of the psyche—all the psychological contents which your conscious mind or Ego, the thing that you normally call “yourself”, is ignorant of—are personal in nature. But after acquiring his own experience (and some mental breakdowns), he reached a conclusion vastly different from his teacher, that the psyche, the totality of one’s mind, isn’t only an individual thing, but also a collective one—you aren’t an isolated island, but the sea that connects every island as well. Naturally, this doesn’t refer to the individualized, conscious mind, but to the other half that makes the psyche, the unconscious mind, which exists both as the personal unconscious that Freud described… and a collective unconscious, equal and shared by all humankind.

“A more or less superficial layer of the unconscious is undoubtedly personal. I call it the personal unconscious. But this personal unconscious rests upon a deeper layer, which does not derive from personal experience and is not a personal acquisition but is inborn. This deeper layer I call the collective unconscious. I have chosen the term "collective" because this part of the unconscious is not individual but universal; in contrast to the personal psyche, it has contents and modes of behaviour that are more or less the same everywhere and in all individuals.” - Jung, Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious.

I’m not going in-depth about all of Jung’s theory; that would merit post after post just to cover the basics. But that main gist is that Jung proposed that most, if not all, psychological problems rest in the relationship one has with the unconscious, be it the personal or the collective one. This is because the unconscious is the matrix of life, the source of all change and energy, as well as the “eternal wisdom” that applies everywhere and everywhen, since it’s the product of the countless experiences of all forms of life since time immemorial.

“The collective unconscious, however, as the ancestral heritage of possibilities of representation, is not individual but common to all men, and perhaps even to all animals, and is the true basis of the individual psyche. [...] Theoretically it should be possible to “peel” the collective unconscious, layer by layer, until we came to the psychology of the worm, and even of the amoeba.” - Jung, Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche.

So it’d be correct to say that, instead of you having an unconscious that’s common to all life, the unconscious of life has you. You aren’t the subject, but an object, a product born out of the countless interactions of the unconscious, and thus inherently tied to said collective. You cannot overcome the unconscious, because it’s the mother that birthed you, the parent that raised you, the teacher that showed you the world, the first love that made you feel complete, the friends that blessed you, the enemies that diminished you, the obstacles that brought you to the bottom—joy and misery alike.

Truth is, the collective unconscious is everything that surrounds you. There’s nothing outside of it, and nothing lower or higher than it. It’s all existence that can be possibly known by life… Yet, consciousness, as its name indicates, isn't that unconscious; it’s “alienated” from it. It perceives itself separated from the whole, despite being nurtured by said whole. And the more differentiated the conscious mind becomes, the more separated and afraid it becomes of the world, and from there all problems come forth: the inability of the Ego to properly grow inwards, which in turn means it can’t properly grow outwards.

Depression, anxiety, psychosis, neurosis, schizophrenia… All of those problems, one way or another, are rooted in an improper relationship with the unconscious and thus the external world. Jung wasn’t able to found a one-size-fits-all solution naturally, but he got pretty close by suggesting an archetypal process he called individuation, the process by which the conscious mind integrates contents of the unconscious, allowing the reach a middle point between them, a harmonic relationship that allows everything work as a whole—the collective working for you, and you working for the collective. Jung called such an archetypal situation of wholeness the Self.

“I have called this wholeness that transcends consciousness the ‘self.’ The goal of the individuation process is the synthesis of the self.” - Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious.

The Self is not only consciousness, but also the personal and collective unconsciousness. It’s darkness and evil, and light and good as well. It’s the whole of life that existed long before you, and that will endure long after your death, because you yourself are part of the whole, which in turn can be said to be the only thing that truly exists. You are an image through which the Self becomes conscious of itself.

If all of that sounds like a headache-inducing mumbo jumbo, then you are on the correct path! The Self and the collective unconscious are, by definition, beyond the scope of what consciousness can fully grasp, just as it’s impossible to understand the universe—of which you, as the subject that experiences it, are part of—as a whole. Yet, just because it’s impossible to comprehend in its totality, doesn’t mean humanity didn’t have intuitions of the Self, represented in the form of mythological and folkloric symbols, because that’s the kind of language the unconscious speaks.

“Because of its unconscious component the self is so far removed from the conscious mind that it can only be partially expressed by human figures; the other part of it has to be expressed by objective, abstract symbols. [...] Plant symbols are generally flowers (lotus and rose). These lead on to geometrical figures like the circle, the sphere, the square, the quaternity, the clock, the firmament, and so on.” - Carl Jung, Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious

I… I’m not going into all of this; it’s simply too much. However, the main point I wanted to rescue is how the rose can act as a symbol for both motherhood and of the Self, because the archetypal figure of the mother is nothing but another property that belongs to Wholeness, being the psyche that birthed everything. Even Christ himself, the figure in which humanity/consciousness and the divine/unconsciousness are joined, is a manifestation of the Self, just like Buddha. Naturally, it’s not a question about wether they existed or not, but about what they unconsciously represent for people.

“In truth, Phanes is the happy day. In truth, Phanes is work and accomplishment and its remuneration. He is the troublesome task and the evening calm. He is a step on the middle way, its beginning, its middle, and its end. He is foresight. He is the end of fear.” - Jung, Hymn to Phanes, Black Books.

Because it represents the same thing for Jung, as seen in the excerpt above of the Black Books, the diaries in which he registered his experiences of “active imagination” or explorations of his unconscious. So even if he put the somewhat partial and subjective name of Phanes, the primordial deity of orphism, the same thing occurs for all Self-images in humanity’s myths, legends, tales, and so forth: salvation. That’s the root of the famous parable of the vine imparted by Jesus, how humanity is completely lost without “him”, the Self.

However, every archetype—the psychological principles that make out the collective unconscious—has both darkness and light alike, for they are the accumulated of all experiences without exception. Thus, it’s natural that the individuation process has its dangers too. It’d be all too easy for people to give in to the “madness” inherent to the unconscious without opposition, too tired of fighting back against life. But the Ego is an essential part of individuation, the fulcrum around which everything must be balanced because it’s the only thing that can make something conscious and realized.

“Be silent and listen: have you recognized your madness and do you admit it? Have you noticed that all your foundations are completely mired in madness? Do you not want to recognize your madness and welcome it in a friendly manner? You wanted to accept everything. So accept madness too. Let the light of your madness shine, and it will suddenly dawn on you. Madness is not to be despised and not to be feared, but instead you should give it life. [...] Be glad that you can recognize it, for you will thus avoid becoming its victim.” - Jung’s Soul, Red Book.

“Embracing the madness is a necessary step for humans to move forward. A crystal rose that seems to be facing a certain direction at all times. This humanlike object is said to absorb the moisture from a certain river to bloom.” - Lunacy’s Flavour Text.

The unconscious is uncertainty, the collapse of the superiority of the conscious mind. It’s the acceptance that life itself won’t go as you want, that it dances and moves as it wishes. And that you’ll accompany it in that celebration, not as its slave, but as its equal, for you are its long-lost brother/sister that it wishes to join to once more. You, too, are a creation of God, the “rose” He gardened for so long by the side of His “river”, inside His “womb”.

Unsurprisingly, like all Abnormalities, that’s where Sign of Roses falls, because the City has been possessed by its own madness. It has become so alienated from the unconscious that its inhabitants are unable to understand they are guided solely by that kind of trauma, hidden under the slogans of retribution, vengeance, righteousness, and rationality. The City has repressed everything irrational, yet it's smothered by it.

But if such is the case, if the disease of the mind has expanded so much, then the unconscious must fight back, to release itself from the yoke humanity puts it under so its one wish can be heard: to be realized. That’s the underlying meaning of the Sign, the caricature of Christ, the dark side of the Self that embraces all that exists without judgment, filled by a naive, all-encompassing love that allows any and all atrocities. That’s to say, it’s the Devil or Beast, the dissolver of consciousness, the agitator of the unconscious, the exhausted inner tension of all living beings that wishes to be resolved.

“This is an adequate place to get off this train without getting lost. The refraction rate is already off the charts. For the first time since we embarked on this journey… I see a signpost. Maybe, this is where this railway line ends. Or maybe...this is where we meet our ends.” - Dante, Terminus: The Garden, Refraction Railway Line 2.

The Sign of Roses is at the center of the Railway because the Self is the whole and center of the psyche, the “smaller than small, and bigger than big”. Thus, it’s also the terminus and its beginning, the Abnormality or psychological tendency that causes people to give in to their desires and instincts without care, after a long life of “self-control”. It’s the respite that Christ promised to his followers, the celestial Jerusalem that will become the last place of rest for the believers and faithful.

“Oh, and... the color of those roses changed as well. Everyone told me that it was as though the bottled—up feelings inside them were melting away. And so did I.” Hong Lu, Abnormality’s Observation Log #3.

“Psychologically, it is again a question of the self, enthroned in the place of the middle, and referred to in Revelation as the beloved city (Jerusalem, the centre of the earth).” - Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious.

It’s no coincidence that Sign of Rose's arena is filled with ruins overcome with brambles and roses—the dregs of the unconscious that bring down the works of the conscious mind. However, I previously said roses are symbols of the Self and thus of the Ego, since the latter is an “image” of the former, so… why are there roses in a landscape that has abandoned any sort of consciousness? Well, that’s because the Ego is a “complex”, a psychological “entity” that acts as a personal instance of the archetypes so to speak, and the unconscious happens to have many of those.

“Eyes are round and in common speech are likened to ‘cart-wheels.’ They also seem to be a typical symbol for what I have called the ‘multiple luminosities of the unconscious.’ By this I mean the seeming possibility that complexes possess a kind of consciousness, a luminosity of their own, which, I conjecture, expresses itself in the symbol of the soul-spark, multiple eyes (polyophthalmia), and the starry heaven.” - Mysterium Coniunctionis.

That’s both the reason why the Flesh part has so many eyes, representing the Self as a union of those “multiple consciousnesses”, and why the unconscious can be compared to the firmament, which has its own layer of symbolism in Limbus. But more importantly, it tells us something extremely important about the Abnormality’s appearance: just like STNOWC, Sign of Roses bears the effigy of humanity—its flesh—in a twisted way, as the singular vine (yes, that’s the reason behind the passive’s name) from which every other "rose" blooms.

Thus, Sign of Roses is nothing else but the weakening of the human spirit against the unconscious compulsions and drives, an “individuation” gone wrong that ends up with the collapse of consciousness, slaved eternally under the complexes' yoke for whatever remains of its life. And what else it could want if not to share such a prospect with the world, as seen with the unique death animations for the Sinners, now becoming their own “whole individual”—their own garden—from which every desire can bloom, like a mother and its children.

“Yes, as you have learned, extracting Abnormalities is my job. But creating them is Carmen’s, whom you buried a long time ago. She is the mother of all Abnormalities that have existed in this facility and all that will emerge in the future.” - Binah, Lobotomy Corporation.

Really, it shouldn’t be a surprise that all of this connects with Carmen, the maternal aspect of the unconscious mind that accepts any and all things, wanting people to give into their unconscious urges as she herself hinted in “Leviathan”. She is the Christ-like figure who baptizes/drowns people in the waters of the River, making them reborn in a shape that’s able to “love” everything. It’s not a coincidence she’s the (666) Beast, the shadow of humanity and the Self, twisting God’s greatest virtue that saved both Dante and Faust in their respective books.

And keeping on with the parodies of Christ, Sign of Roses’s “Crown of Thorns” status stands for a symbol of the pain that comes from containing all fears and desires within, to keep an image of “self-control” or purity, as if to say you aren’t Christ and you shouldn’t resist the temptations. That’s why its Pride and Lust skills are the ones that apply the status, saying to you that you should take pride in who you are and love yourself, to let bloom every kind of atrocity.

From the rest of the skills, the only ones that are worth highlighting are two. First, it’s “Wishing for Eternity”, solely due to the connection it has with King of Greed’s flavour text about greed and happiness wishing for eternity, expressing clearly the suffering that is brought about through the differentiation of consciousness after eating “the apple from Eden”. The second one is its Envy skill, “Wall of Separation”, because…

“See? Wish, wish for it. Knowing that it is a sin. Only then can you bloom such colorful roses.” “You have to bloom the roses. You want to escape this garden don't you?” “Let us... let me help you.” “Our only wish is that our garden will bloom full of flowers.” “Now, what will you do?” - Mid-Combat Event.

The Sign can’t nurture its own roses. It lacks the ability, the drive to do so. It speaks so highly about the Sinner’s capacity to bloom and accept themselves, yet itself is unable to do so because it’s ultimately empty. It collapses into countless petals the moment the brambles come undone, because it lacks any and all substance beyond the chains of desire, not so different from King in Binds in a way.

It envies living beings because they can take care of their seeds and bloom. It envies them because they are alive, while itself is dead and unable to change. They have a soul, while it doesn’t.

I wonder what this tells us about Carmen…

Note: The last enemy buff, “Thirsting”, obviously belongs to Sign of Roses, and the bible says everything that there's need to know.

“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” - John, 4:11-15.

Post-Commentary

Hello, once more! It’s with great pleasure that I bring the last part of the Railway 2’s Abnormalities. This one took a long while, mainly because I lost some of my motivation due to university during Fairy Gentleman’s part… which, coincidentally, returned the day in which Nikocado Avocado announced his lost weight xD What a curious coincidence, really.

But anyway, seeing how that man took like, what? 2 years or so to get in “shape”? It motivated me enough to finish both Fairies’ sections quickly, like one to two weeks in total. After all, I couldn’t mope around when I had (and still) many things to do in my life.

Regarding some curiosities about my analisis, I think the biggest one is the Sin advantage of the “press the droplet-shaped button” option. I didn’t analyze it because it’s weird now. Like, the first version of the Encounter didn’t award the player with any EGO gift, strengthening the idea of how the Abnormality represents the idea of being needlessly cruel and sadistic, hence justifying the Envy and Wrath advantages. But since the option now gives you a new EGO gift, it somewhat diminishes the previous idea, though it doesn’t blatantly contradict it: you are still being an asshole.

Another includes Wayward Passenger, where I’ve to stress out something: said Abnormality is connected to W Corp. first, and then to the general concept of escapism and envy. The need of having to expand that latter part was due to the Dimensional Shredder EGOs, especially those of Yi Sang and Hong Lu—instead of envying people for their choices they have, they decide to take pride on the “journey” their external circumstances put them on (Sloth and Gluttony, apathy and duty/necessity).

And finally, if you didn’t understand 'Sign of Roses’ section…

TL;DR: Roses are symbols of the Self/psychic wholeness, but also of consciousness, for the flowers “are” brains. Thus, the Sign wants your “rose”/mind/soul/being to become a vine from which all other “roses”—the smaller “consciousnesses” or complexes that make out the unconscious mind—can bloom and live through, sacrificing your own existence. That’s due to the Abnormality being unable to bloom its own flowers (anymore?), having to “drain the sin” from others.

Now, with all of this said, my next post about Abnormalities should be about none other than Railway 1, thanks to Canto VII coming soon and thus giving us a big dose of needed context for Headless Icthys and Alleway Watchdog. After that one (and RR5’s, naturally), I plan to finish with an analysis about the Abnormalities that were left out from the RRs: those from Canto I and Canto II, and Brazen Bull.

As always, feel free to comment your own thoughts and point out any spelling mistakes!

[dollarstore-kins]

🧭Jason Craig of The Creek Carekit For Anon 🧭

water gun || sour gummy worms || konpeito candy || potato chips || chew bracelet || light up baton || earplugs w/ attachable cord || gum || indoor/outdoor platform swing || forest water bottle || binoculars || leather-bound journal || wood log pencils || fossil kit || mochi animal squish toys || 2lb weighted & scented frog plush || 3.5kg weighted lap plush crocodile || stretchy sloth pop-up toy || squirrel in a stump pop-up toy

-mod calamity (=^∇^*)

[tjemegames]

HSR: TJ’s Character Build Archive - Navigation

Hey y’all!

I’ve decided to post all my character builds for anyone who might find that kind of thing interesting or potentially helpful. While I’ve got a decent amount of HSR build knowledge under my belt, you should take everything you see with a grain of salt; I’m not a guide maker and I won’t pretend to be, but I’ll do my best to include my thought process/rationale for the builds that I’ve chosen to use.

If you have any questions about any of my builds or builds in general, don’t be afraid to drop them in my ask box! I might not personally be able to give you the most comprehensive answer about meta or statistical data, but I’m willing to look into it if you’re in need of genuine assistance.

I'll be updating the linked path posts any time a new character or relic set has been announced. Updates will also be made whenever large upgrades have been made on my character's builds.

Changelogs are now in the pipeline (yipee!) Links for the logs will be added to the path posts as they are released; they are listed alongside the "last upgraded" notice at the end of each character's sub-section. You can also find the logs by using #character build changelog, or by text searching "changelog - [character]" on my blog.

"The path presided over by the Aeon Yaoshi. Selfless, altruistic, and healing actions are manifestations of the Path of Abundance."

The path of Abundance exclusively consists of healers. Kits may include:

ally revival

individual/team-wide debuff dispelling

Some units may also offer supportive utilities such as:

personal action advancing

increased energy regeneration, personal crowd control resistance, or break damage buffs

individual ally aggro manipulation

AOE enemy buff dispelling

"The path presided over by the Aeon Nanook. Reckless, wrathful, and destructive actions are manifestations of the Path of Destruction."

The path of Destruction consists of single and multi-target/blast, break, and counter-attack damage dealers. Kits may include:

enhanced basic attacks

follow-up attacks triggered by personal/ally aggro or hp reduction

damage buffs from personal/ally health draining

personal healing

aggro manipulation

"The path presided over by the Aeon Nous. Thoughtful, logical, and strategic actions are manifestations of the Path of Erudition."

The path of Erudition consists of single and multi-target/blast, break, and follow-up damage dealers. Kits may include:

enhanced basic attacks

damage based follow-up attacks

specialized ultimates (multi-tiered damage)

personal/ally damage buffing

"The path presided over by the Aeon Xipe. Understanding, supportive, and cooperative actions are manifestations of the Path of Harmony."

The path of the Harmony exclusively consists of ally-buffing supports. Kits may include:

turn manipulation

enhanced skill point recovery

individual/team-wide buffs to overall damage, atk, crit rate/damage, break effect, speed, or energy regeneration

"The path presided over by the Aeon Lan. Decisive, ruthless, and vengeful actions are manifestations of the Path of The Hunt."

The path of the Hunt consists of single-target, break, and follow-up attack damage dealers. Kits may include:

enhanced basic attacks

team-triggered follow-up attacks

specialized ultimates (non-traditional energy charging and multi-tiered damage)

personal action advancing or speed buffing

Individual ally-buffing of speed, damage, or toughness reduction are also possible through March 7th - The Hunt.

"The path presided over by the Aeon IX. Slothful, exhausted, and meaningless actions are manifestations of the Path of Nihility."

The path of Nihility consists of single and multi-target/blast damage dealers and enemy debuffing supports. Kits may include:

specialized ultimates (non-traditional energy charging)

TJ will come back to this section later because nihility is complicated, and I'll need to reread everyone's kits in depth to be accurate here.

"The path presided over by the Aeon Qlipoth. Patient, sacrificial, and protective actions are manifestations of the Path of Preservation."

The path of Preservation exclusively consists of shielders/tanks. Kits may include:

personal character revival or taunting buffs

enhanced basic attacks

aggro-based follow-up attacks

Some units may also offer supportive utilities such as:

buffs to crit rate/damage, effect resistance, or crowd control resistance

personal/team-wide healing or received damage reduction

ally damage mitigation

Yeah, that was more detailed than I was originally planning to be. The yapping demons took over again, apparently. Navigation with a little side of education for your learning pleasure. Content disclaimers and credits under the cut. Thanks for stopping by!

Important things to note:

All my build showcases have been generated through Fribbels Honkai Star Rail Optimizer.

Fribbels automatically displays your characters at level 80 character and light cone experience so that you can preemptively evaluate their build at its maximum potential.

Fribbels relic scoring weight can be manipulated to meet your personal wants (this is especially useful for making non-damage dealers into true damage dealing characters) and those relics are notated with an Asterix (*). Most of my build showcases have been generated with the default weighting intact; any deviations will be notated accordingly.

Following the above point, some of my characters may have multiple different builds: e.g., crit vs traditional Sampo, break vs traditional Guinaifen, 4pc purity palace + keel vs 4pc pioneer + salsotto Aventurine, etc. Each build will be properly titled, and their functionality/niche will be emphasized for clarity’s sake.

If you're interested in generating your own build showcases but you’d prefer to see characters with their current in-game statistics, Enka.Network is an excellent platform to do so. Enka does not currently have a relic scoring feature so you will not be able to see the value of your pieces through their generated showcases. They do, however, have roll quality stat breakdowns that can be toggled on/off.

The quotes listed underneath the Path and Character headers are tidbits sourced from the game's plethora of loading screens. I pulled the text from Fandom's Honkai: Star Rail Wiki page on loading screens and characters respectively.

All the path overviews and kit summaries were written in my own words; however, I did use Prydwen's HSR Character's List to look over the kits of characters that I don't own, so here's their honorable mention.