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aemondsbabe · 11 months ago

Text

A Kindness

summary: you're finally ramsay's most favorite toy, but is that really a good thing?

pairing: ramsay bolton x reader

warnings: mature/explicit, 18+ (minors dni!), no use of y/n, afab reader, dark content it's ramsay hello, blood kink but no injury/gore, mentioned major character death (again, no injury/gore), slight au (ramsay wins battle of the bastards), choking, rough sex, dirty talk, humiliation/degradation, slapping, piv sex, unprotected sex don't be silly wrap ur willy, hair pulling, creampie, slight breeding kink, puppy play, boot humping idk how to else to phrase it, slight angst but a happy ending for ramsay lmao, let me know if i missed anything!

word count: 6.2k

a/n: my first foray into dark or at least semi-dark writing and my first time writing ramsay! i've had this one in my head for such a long time so it feels really good to actually get it out! hope everyone enjoys and please make sure to heed the warnings with this one!

likes, comments, & reblogs are very appreciated but never required!

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“Dip the cloth again, you dolt,” you snap, looking up from the scroll of parchment rolled out before you on the table when you hear the coarse woolen cloth begin to scrape dryly across the silver Ramsay’s… thing was supposed to be polishing, “If I have to remind you of that one more time, I’ll tell him you tried to touch me. I wonder which part of you he’d hack off for that, hm?”

Reek’s eyes go wide at your threat and he nods his head frantically, quickly reaching over and dunking the cloth into the small bowl of vinegar before him. “Yes, m’lady. Apologies, m’lady.”

A small sigh leaves your lips as you rest an elbow on the table, nose scrunching up slightly at the sour smell that seems to hang like a cloud over the room, the small one by the kitchens.

Probably where the staff ate, you think, staring blankly at the fire crackling away in the hearth. You’ve tried hard to picture it – Winterfell in its former glory, trussed up with wolf banners and filled with children’s laughter, how it was when the Stark’s called it home.

Your eyes linger on Reek and for a second, you’re halfway tempted to ask him about it – what it was like living here, being one of them. You don’t, knowing the question would fall on deaf ears at the least, or send him spiraling to the point of being unable to finish his chores, and then it would be your head on the chopping block as well.

Distantly, you hear the familiar baying of Ramsay’s hounds and your eyes flick up to the narrow slit windows on the wall; you do your best to ignore the way Reek’s head swivels to the sound in the same instance yours does, the way that adrenaline so keenly rushes through you – a burst of panic leading the charge before you have the chance to correct it.

Anticipation, you remind yourself, jaw clenched, Passion, excitement.

Your eyes vacantly scan over the parchment you’d nabbed from the library earlier that morning, an account of the birth of Arya, apparently the sister of the one that had actually managed to escape some weeks back, no doubt frozen now in one of the snowy forests that surrounds Winterfell. You don’t really care, your thoughts once again reverting back to Myranda. Bitterly, you remember how he never made her stay behind when he went hunting, never made her watch over his man-servant, never made her second guess.

The last one is a lie, the truth woven deeply into the many nights you’d spent up with her – listening as she fretted about each word she’d uttered to him that day, hoping each one had been right and had been said at the right time, that he wouldn’t find some made-up cause to punish her. Tendrils of jealousy had twisted into you even then, even as she painted a picture of what he truly was.

Just as men’s voices filter through the windows from the courtyard outside, your lips quirk up into a mean, victorious little smirk.

It’s her body he fed to the dogs, you think, the voice in your mind a proud hiss, Just like Violet’s and Tansy’s and Kyra’s. You remember the day well enough, remember the shock of seeing your friend's body laying in the courtyard as you’d run out to greet Ramsay, teal eyes staring at nothing. It had been you that had warmed his bed that very night, and all the ones after it.

“There you are,” a familiar voice sounds from behind you, nearly making you yelp as Reek scrambles to stand up from the table. Before you even have a chance to, a strong hand clasps over your shoulder, stilling your movements, “No, no, don’t get up on my account.” Rusty copper stains color his hand, dried blood outlining each of his nails. You don’t let your mind linger on what the source of it could be.

You whip your head around and swallow nervously as he chuckles lowly, “Ramsay!” You breathe in greeting, the corners of your lips tilting up into a tentative smile, though that’s quickly washed away as you take in the messy splotches of red that stain his coat and tunic, that snake their way up the pale column of his throat and dot the sides of his face.

He looks every bit the hunter and you wonder, not for the first time, what that makes you.

“You seem quite comfortable here, pet,” he drawls, leaning down until he’s eye-level with you, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re more at home down here with the help,” he continues, hand tightening to the point of pain on your shoulder, making you grit your teeth, “Than you are in our chambers where you’re meant to be.”

Our chambers. A privilege he never granted her. Stupidly, your heart sings.

His hand tightens on your shoulder once more, finally drawing a pained whine from your lips.

“Y-You told me to watch him! To make sure he –” You’re cut off as Ramsay unceremoniously hauls you to your feet, clawing at your leather doublet. A cry leaves your lips as the hand on your shoulder tangles into the hair at the nape of your neck, tugging as he forces your head back, blue eyes flicking to your neck as you swallow thickly.

“I told you to be in our chambers when I return from hunts,” he corrects you, standing to his full height as he holds you tightly, forcing you unsteadily onto your tip-toes, “That I expected you to be at the door, ready and waiting for me.” His lips ghost over your ear as he speaks, his voice a low growl that shouldn’t excite you the way it does.

“I’m sorry,” you wince internally at the way your voice comes out as a pained little squeak, your hands scrambling to hang onto his forearm, nails digging into the stained quilted fabric of his jacket.

“You know how I get after a hunt,” he suddenly pulls away from you, his hand pulling out of your hair, a gasp leaving you as your heels drop to the floor. You blink as he reaches up, not flinching from years of practice, though instead of striking you or harshly gripping at your jaw like you expect, his hand cups your cheek. Your chest rises and falls as he strokes his thumb over your cheekbone, blood stained fingers now delicate against your soft skin.

“Today’s was a special one, too. Don’t you remember?” He questions, icy eyes sliding from yours to the red-headed man still standing by the table, glimmering cruelly as he smirks.

Still, you nod your head, knowing Reek won’t answer. “To celebrate killing Jon Snow,” you breathe, gripping at the leather of his tunic, desperate to win even a scrap of approval.

Surprisingly, he grants it – fixing you with a proud little grin, like how an owner would look at a dog that’s just mastered a new trick. “That’s right,” his hand ruffles the hair on the top of your head, a gesture that should feel demeaning, yet it sends a tingle of pride through you instead, “Seems you can remember something after all.” He pulls away and traipses over to Reek, hands clasped behind his back.

“Surely you remember too, Reek? You were in the kennels that evening when the dogs had their treat, were you not?” He taunts, the playful inflection in his voice entirely for show, “Our little problem’s been dealt with and now we hold not only the Dreadfort but Winterfell as well! What do you think about that, hm?” Ramsay studies the other man carefully, eyes flitting over his face as he takes great pleasure in the subtle twitches of pain that still manage to flicker through the harsh conditioning he’d endured. Your eyes stay fixed firmly on the stone floor.

“A… A great victory, master!”

“Yes, a great victory, indeed,” he smiles, watching Reek for another moment before turning back to you. His smile morphs into a cold, callous frown that ties your stomach into knots, each of his steps making your heart hammer faster in your chest. “You know, it’s actually rather amusing,” he starts, bloodied fingers twirling a stray lock of your hair, “How my hounds seem to be continually more well trained than you, pretty little idiot.”

Pretty, pretty, pretty! Your heart thumps dumbly, a rabbit in a snare.

“I’ll do better!” You whimper, shaking your head frantically as your eyes meet his, “I can do better, really, I was just confu–”

The hand in your hair shoots down suddenly, yanking several strands with it as he clamps it around your neck. “Confused?” Ramsay murmurs, watching with rapt attention at how you struggle in his hold, lips quivering as the words die in your throat, “Really? I give you one task, I ask one thing of you, and you can’t even figure that out? You still disappoint me?”

He’s not expecting an answer, you know this, and yet you still try to give one as your mouth opens and closes, like a fish out of water, only the faintest little whines managing to escape. You feel faint, both from his grip around your throat and from the myriad of emotions coursing through your veins – your heart twists at the thought of failing him, your stomach is in knots as various punishments flash through your mind, and yet your center still sparks, still sends little glimmers of arousal through you.

His grip loosens enough to allow you to suck in several shaky lungfuls of air as he snickers, endlessly amused at how eager you still are, how you still yearn so deeply for him. Again, he pats your head condescendingly, muttering little hushes as if you were a crying puppy. “Lucky for you, pet, I have plenty of experience training stubborn bitches,” Ramsay chuckles, blue eyes glimmering with mirth when he feels you swallow apprehensively, “I think we’ll have your behavior corrected in no time, won’t we? Even the stupidest of beasts can still learn a trick or two.”

Before you have time to react, the hand cradling the crown of your head harshly grabs at your hair again, tugging you suddenly toward the door. “Ah!” You yelp, stumbling as he all but drags you behind him, your hands shake as they struggle to grab onto his forearm, “Ramsay, pl–!”

“You should be grateful I am allowing you the kindness of walking!” He growls, sparing you a glance over his shoulder as he leads you through the Great Hall, “Pity I’m so protective of you, really, I’m sure it would be quite entertaining for my men to watch you crawl.” His drawled threat sends a spark of fear down your spine and you pant, chest heaving, as you shuffle behind him; your cheeks burn as several of his soldiers sitting at the long wooden tables catcall as you stagger past them.

Finally, the two of you reach your shared chambers, that fact sending a little torrent of satisfaction through you even now. Unceremoniously, Ramsay all but tosses you inside and you whimper as your hip collides with an edge of the decorative table just inside the door, no doubt hard enough to bruise but at least it breaks your fall.

“It’s quite unfortunate, normally find your impudence amusing,” he starts lowly, pressing the old wooden door closed with a thud before sliding the lock into place with a self-satisfied grin, “But I know you know better, don’t you, little one?” He asks as he stalks toward you.

Your breath catches in your throat as he stands before you, studying you silently for a second in the same calculated way he studies a deer through the sight of his bow. Not knowing what else to do, you silently nod your head as your eyes slip down to the floor, like a child being scolded.

“You’ve been with me the longest now,” he murmurs as if you don’t know, one bloodstained hand grabbing at your waist as the other fits around the back of your neck, once again forcing your eyes to his face, “We grew up together, you and I. You know my ways, my rules, isn’t that right?”

Again, you nod your head, bottom lip trembling with the want to explain yourself, although you know that would only make things worse.

“That’s what makes your disobedience so frustrating,” his blue eyes bore into yours as he speaks, his lip sticking out in a mocking pout, “Because you do know better and yet you’re stupid enough to act out anyway, hm?” His tone is sharper now, dangerous like the pointed tip of an arrow.

“I wasn’t acting out!” The words claw themselves out of your throat before you can stop them and instantly you know you’ve made a mistake, but now you’re desperate to remedy it, “I wasn’t, really! I j-just misunderstood you, that’s –”

Your pleas come to a screeching halt as his hand smacks across your face, the other grips at your jaw tightly, tight enough to make you whine softly in his grasp. Your eyes squeeze shut for a second, cheek stinging, before they open and lock with his again, wild and desperately.

I wasn’t being insolent! You scream silently, hoping he can somehow hear you, that maybe all of your years with him would’ve granted that ability, I would never! I was doing as you said, like always!

“I was wrong earlier, wasn’t I?” Ramsay mutters, so close to you that your foreheads nearly touch. Your eyes widen slightly at his words, heart thumping in a hopeful little staccato, though he wrenches that away quickly enough, “You’re not a dog at all, no, a dog would be obedient and docile.”

Your brows knit together with confusion at his words, biting so hard into your lower lip that you’re shocked you don’t taste blood. Although, you can’t help the surprised little gasp that leaves you when his hands begin quickly tugging at the laces of your bodice as your own remain in white-knuckled fists at your sides, the whole of you determined to stay still like a statue, a plaything.

“No, you my sweet little pet,” he growls sarcastically, low voice morphing into a pleased chuckle as he tugs your bodice off; the shirt below it quickly follows and a small part of you blooms with pride at the happy little sigh he lets out at the sight of your breasts.

“You’re just a dumb puppy, aren’t you?” He chuckles against your throat, nipping at your skin more so than kissing it, although you relish the feel of his lips on you all the same. “A dumb, defiant little puppy,” he continues, hastily pulling at the ties of your skirts and you whimper despite yourself when they finally fall to the floor, pooling at your feet, “That’s in desperate need of more training.”

He stops, pausing for a mere second, and pulls back just enough to look at you, no doubt gaining satisfaction from the desperation written so plainly on your face. There’s a hunger in his cold eyes – a predator silently deciding to go for the jugular, nocking an arrow on his bow.

You whine as he properly kisses at your throat now, his hands rough against your skin as he grabs at your hips. One skims higher to cup your breast, the unexpected gentleness of his touches causes you to shiver and whine in his grasp and into his mouth as he kisses you finally, his full lips moving steadily in time with yours.

Harsh pants leave your lips as your heart pumps madly in your chest, his touches always work you up so quickly. The thought of him still being fully clothed as he left you bare and vulnerable made you hotter still; the feel of his warm leather tunic against your exposed skin, of his bloodied hands against your supple skin, drives you mad.

Before you have time to second guess your movements, you begin blindly pulling at the strings on his leather tunic, desperate to feel him against you. Surprisingly, he lets you tug it off of him, granting you a last meal of sorts, and you can’t help but to smile into the kiss, gasping into his mouth as he unbuttons his jacket himself before quickly tossing it aside as well. He’s panting nearly as harshly as you are as the two of you part long enough for him to pull his shirt over his head, your hands immediately go to his chest the second it joins the ever-growing pile of clothes on the floor.

Your eyes flicker over him as the two of you pause, the knot in your belly growing tighter at the sight of his taut stomach and chest, the low, warm glow of the many candles dotted throughout your chambers accentuating each muscular dip. Your fingers shake as they trail over him and you feel a sick sense of pride twist in your stomach at the fact that, unlike so many men, his skin isn’t mottled with years of scars and bruises. No, his is flawless, a pale, unmarred, ruthless canvas – a flawless killer.

Of course, he can’t let you have this reprieve for long. A good trainer doesn’t spoil his pet.

A soft, broken gasp leaves you as one hand wraps around your neck again, slotting perfectly against your throat like a collar, as he walks you a few paces further into the room, closer to the small hearth by the bed. “Kneel,” his command leaves no room for anything but obedience; you swallow thickly, nervously, and do as he says, lips parting ever so slightly when your knees rest on plush bear skin instead of hard stone.

A kindness, even now.

Ramsay’s lips twist into a proud grin as you stare up at him, legs folded beneath you with your hands poised perfectly on your thighs, a familiar stance he’d taught you years ago. “Good girl,” he mutters, fingers threading gently through your hair as you moan softly.

“Thank y – Ah!”

“No,” he chides harshly, tugging your head back by the roots of your hair until your neck is bared to him, your back arched, “Puppies don’t talk, dumb little thing,” he growls, shifting more closely to you in order to gain a better hold on your hair, close enough that you whimper as your front is pressed firmly against the length of his leg, the thick fabric of his trousers rough against your skin as one of his feet slots between your thighs, “A well-trained pet certainly doesn’t.”

The knot in your belly seizes at his words, aided by the laces of his leather boots brushing oh-so gently against your center, the knotted fabric sticking against the wetness already leaking from your clenching cunt. You whine, high-pitched and frantic when he clutches your hair tighter still, his fist white knuckled against the crown of your head.

“A well-trained little pet would always obey their master, wouldn’t they?” You can’t miss the breathiness of his voice now, his tone lower and smoother than it normally is, and the sound makes your hips hump against his boot before you can stop yourself, your nipples stiff, nearly aching, as they rub against his trousers.

A low, rumbled laugh echoes through your chambers when your arms wrap around his leg, fingers digging desperately into the firm muscle of his thigh. “Aww,” he coos mockingly, licking his lips as he watches you, his attention making blood rush to the apples of your cheeks, “Is my pretty little puppy getting off on this? Does your cunt drip when I tell you how stupid and worthless you are?”

The sound of your blood pumping furiously through your veins thuds in your ears, Pretty, pretty pretty!

You whine as you try to eagerly nod your head, his hold on your hair preventing you from moving much, though your hips rut steadily against his boot now – pressing tightly against the worn fabric, the knots from his laces rubbing perfectly over the throbbing little pearl at your center.

“You look like you’re having fun,” he drawls, cold eyes shining as he studies you closely, chest heaving in time with yours as his cock hardens in his pants, “Are you having fun, little one?”

Again, you try to nod, keening brokenly as your eyes stay fixed on his. You pant harshly against his leg, breath fragmented as they’re punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter and tighter with each pass of your slick center over the laces of his boot.

He knows, of course. As soon as he ordered you to stay in the kitchens with Reek this morning, he knew – knew you’d follow his orders to the letter, even if they contradicted his previous ones. He knew he’d find you there, knew he’d punish you for it, knew exactly how he wanted to break you down so that it could be him who built you back up. He’s known you the longest, you’d grown up together. He knows, of course he does. He’s nothing if not a thorough hunter.

A loud, broken whine leaves you when he flexes his foot, pressing his boot harder against you still. You’re helpless to do much else aside from stare up at him, gasping, while your hips buck against him as quickly as your sore muscles will allow, your high barreling toward you at a breakneck pace.

All of that comes to a sudden, screeching halt though when he moves again, shifting his weight until his boot is just out of reach. The sudden lack of stimulation makes your back arch further still, your muscles taut like a drawn bow.

“Oh, poor little puppy,” he laughs, watching gleefully as you whine loudly, the peak that had been so close fading away, leaving you aching, “If you thought it was going to be that easy, you haven’t been paying attention.” He taunts, crouching until he’s eye-level with you, smirking as his movements cause his pull on your hair to become tighter, making you wince, though his hand thankfully releases its grasp once he settles.

“Mmm,” you mewl softly as he caresses your breasts again, jumping slightly when he thumbs over your nipple before softly pinching at it, giving the other one the same treatment. Your eyes flutter shut as you arch your back further still, pressing against the palm of his hand as he kneads at your chest, eager for any stimulation you can get.

“Myranda was never like this,” he says suddenly, his voice low, steady, calculated. He smiles cruelly when your eyes snap open at the sound of her name, the back of your throat tight as tears already blur your vision – just like he wanted. “No, Myranda always behaved perfectly, she always did exactly what I said.”

He leans forward suddenly, the side of his face pressed firmly against yours so that when he speaks, you’re sure to hear every syllable, to feel them punctuated against the skin of your neck. “She was perfect. I never had to punish her for the same thing twice, you know. Not like I do with you.”

You shudder as his lips press against your skin again, pressing eager kisses against the wet trail of tears running down your cheek. He admires the way your shoulders shake as you sob, the way the subtle movement makes your breasts bounce, the way your cheeks flush so prettily, how your eyes always shine so brightly with fresh tears in them.

Ramsay loves breaking you – adores the moment when his arrow is finally launched free from his bow, adores the moment he sees it pierce your little heart. He loves you, in his way.

Not that he’d tell you that.

He lets you sob for a moment longer, all the while pressing hot kisses against your cheeks, relishing the salty taste of your tears as the little droplets of blood still caked to his skin mar your pretty face, staining it with delicate streaks of red. His cock twitches at the sight, black pupils nearly drowning out the blue of his eyes – maybe one day he’d bring you hunting, what a sight you’d be covered in the bright blood of a fresh kill.

“Myranda never needed training, puppy, not in the way you do,” he nearly whispers, the corners of his lips twitching up into a small smile as he leans back enough to grab at your chin, tilting your face up to his, “That’s what made her so boring.”

“Huh?” You breathe, sobs stalling for a second as you process what he’d just said, your obvious surprise making him laugh lowly again.

“What? Does that shock you? That I found her boring?” He questions, eyebrow raised, “Why would perfection be interesting?”

Your eyes search his face as he shifts, kneeling rather than crouching. A little glimmer of pride sparks to life within you as he kisses you again, your lips moving against his frantically, mewling when he pushes his tongue into your mouth and nips at your bottom lip.

“I never got to train her,” he breathes against your lips, grunting at the way your hands skim over his chest and stomach, grabbing at him so frantically, “I hardly got to punish her; if I gave her an order, she would follow it blindly – it made her predictable, it made her boring.”

“N-Not like me?” You whisper hopefully, meeting his gaze through half-lidded eyes as you pant, your chest pressed tightly to his.

“No, sweet pet, not like you,” Ramsay smiles, making your heart sing as it leaps beneath your ribs, “I get to train you, don’t I? And punish you when that little puppy brain can’t follow the simplest of orders.”

You should be offended, should feel mocked and belittled, but you don’t. Instead, you nod your head eagerly, preening like a proud little bird at his praise, because that’s what is, really. Ramsay will never be one to sing your praises softly like other men, but he admires you all the same.

Before you have time to reply, he grabs at your waist and abruptly maneuvers you, manhandling you until you’re poised on your hands and knees, cheek pressed firmly against the fur rug beneath you.

“I get to play with you, pet,” he drawls lowly, pressing a hand into the small of your back and grunting appreciatively when you arch down like he wants, licking his lips as your cunt finally comes into view, shining already in the low candlelight. He smirks at the way you moan when he presses his hard length against you, grinding against your slit, chest heaving at how warm you are even through his trousers, “Don’t I?”

“Yes!” You nod eagerly, pressing back against him like a wanton whore, nearly dizzy with need when his fingers bump against you as he quickly undoes the laces on his pants, “Yes, yes, yes, please!”

“Ohh, so you can be good, hm?” He teases, groaning in relief when he pushes his trousers down just enough to free his cock, too impatient to remove them entirely, “Seems my training’s working nicely.”

Mindlessly, you nod, willing to agree with whatever he says so long as he gets inside you.

Mercifully, you don’t have to wait long. A loud cry fills your chambers as he presses into you, the slight sting of his thick cock stretching you open making you shiver, a familiar sensation since he was rarely ever patient enough to work you open on his fingers.

Immediately, he sets a brutal pace, his hips pressing against yours tightly each time he pushes forward, the head of his cock nearly kissing your cervix with each harsh thrust. Your cunt clenches at him greedily and your hands scramble against the rug beneath you, fingers tangling into the furs, desperate for something to anchor yourself.

“Fuck, tight little cunt,” Ramsay grunts harshly above you, his hands gripping meanly at your hips, hard enough to leave bruises.

“R-Ramsay, fuck… fuck,” you whimper beneath him, your eyes squeezed shut tightly as the knot in your belly threatens to unravel, your walls pulsing rhythmically around his length each time it spears into you.

He chuckles breathlessly at your little murmurs and runs a hand up the length of your back before grabbing at the hair at the nape of your neck, relishing the little cry you give as he pulls you up until your back is pressed firmly against his chest. “Are you close already?” He mocks smugly, his fingers untangling from your hair to wrap once more around your throat as his other paws at your breasts, his fingers pinching and pulling at your nipples.

You swallow thickly, throat bobbing under his grip, and nod your head the best you can, grabbing at his thick forearm.

“Do you think I’m going to let you?” He teases, biting harshly at your shoulder as his hips keep up a punishing rhythm.

You nearly sob at the question, so desperate, but still you shake your head, cunt pulsing around his length. “No, n-no…” You moan mournfully, voice hoarse from his hold.

He chuckles behind you, his chest rumbling against your back as he kisses and bites at your earlobe, your shoulder, any part of your neck not covered by his hand, each touch driving you mad. “Finally, that little brain seems to be working,” he grunts, laughing lowly as he abandons your breasts long enough to slap your cheek, blessedly soft this time, “I’m having too much fun playing with you to let you go that easily,” He drawls, chuckling once more when you whine.

“In fact,” he continues, reaching down and rubbing his fingers roughly against your aching bud, just enough to make you cry out before he suddenly pulls away again, tugging his length from you as he lets you flop to the floor with a little grunt, “I want to see you do a trick,” he whispers, rubbing over your ass before smack it roughly, making you jump, “Roll over.”

“Wha –” You start to question, only to be cut off with a loud cry as his hand spanks you once more.

“Be a good fucking puppy and roll over.”

His order leaves no room for questioning and obediently, you listen and roll over onto your back with a little whimper. You keep your legs bent up when you settle, keeping yourself on display for him, clenching around nothing as you eye his hard cock bobbing against his stomach, the tip red and leaking.

“Good little pet,” he praises, his words going straight to your pearl as you shudder. Hastily, he pushes your legs up further, one hand holding you open as he presses his cock back into you, savoring your loud whine, the way your eyes roll to the back of your head.

He resumes his harsh pace, slamming into you as he chases his high now, blue eyes trailing appreciatively over your trembling body, watching as your breasts bounce with each unforgiving thrust he gives.

“Please, please, Gods, please!” You whine frantically as he presses his hips against yours, grinding into you, the thatch of hair at the base of his cock rubbing against your bud perfectly, “Ramsay, p-please! I – fuck!”

He laughs breathlessly at your cries and leans down when you arch your back toward him, mouthing savagely at your chest, teeth nipping at the fat of your breasts before he licks over your nipples. He knows each touch is only driving you closer and closer to your release, yet he still doesn’t give you permission, a part of him meanly hopes you’ll slip over anyway and give him another reason to punish you, like he actually needs a reason.

Still, you have been good today and he does love how willing and docile you become when you peak, so malleable – entirely submissive, entirely his.

He bites and kisses his way up along your chest and neck before licking into your mouth for a moment, eagerly swallowing each desperate little cry before grabbing at your neck once more. Greedy, he turns your head to him, needing to see that empty-headed, hazy look in your eyes when he lets you finish.

His cock jerks at the sight of you, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes as you try desperately to hold off, cheeks flushed, reddened lips parted. He grunts, feeling his balls tighten, his thrusts beginning to lose their rhythm.

“Cum, puppy,” he growls, forehead pressed against yours.

Your lips part in a silent curse as your high slams into you, each muscle in your body contracting at once. Your eyes bore into his wildly as your cunt spasms tightly around his cock, eyes rolling back as he fucks you through it.

“Fuck!” He grunts, growling lowly as his cock spasms within you, your walls all but milking his own high from him as well. His hips slam into you a few more times before he stills, gasping as he fills you with his spend.

The two of you lay together for a moment, panting loudly against one another. Ramsay is the first to move, shushing you as he pulls his softening length from you, making you whine.

Distantly, a part of you twists gleefully when you feel his seed drip from you, another thing he never dared do with her.

“Here,” he says softly, offering you a hand, which you gladly take, letting him help you stand since you doubt you’d be able to on your own. Finally, you stand on your feet, albeit unsteadily, and grab onto the foot of the carved wooden bedframe to steady yourself. Strangely, he stays with you, neither of you saying anything as he holds you, blue eyes studying you as they gleam with some unknown emotion.

After a moment, you try to pull away, meaning to leave as you always do, not one to wait around for his order anymore.

“Stop,” he murmurs, only pulling away once you still, “Stay.” He orders, an unfamiliar softness to his voice. Your head reels, eyes staring unfocused as you try to make sense of… whatever this is, whatever his game may be now.

He returns quickly enough, a damp cloth in his and from the small wash basin he keeps on the vanity. You reach out to grab it, to clean yourself off like you assume he wants, and yet he stops you, holding the cloth out of your grasp until you lower your hand again.

“Obedient puppies get rewards,” he says softly, all of the harshness from before absent from his tone as he answers your silent questions. You nearly freeze when he presses one small, gentle kiss against your forehead. Finally, he makes quick work of wiping between your legs, taking care to wipe away any of his spend that leaked from you.

“Thank you…” You nearly whisper, voice scratchy from his earlier treatment. That doesn’t feel like the right thing to say but if it isn’t, he doesn't say.

Silently, he cups your chin, lifting it enough to give him room to check your neck, trailing his hand over it lightly until he must be satisfied that you’re okay, that he hadn’t treated you too badly.

Kind, even still.

A few moments later, you recline in the plush bed, watching as he kicks off his boots before joining you, lying with you under the soft blankets. This part, at least, you’re used to – lying together like this but not touching, not cuddling, that’s too intimate, too close.

He hadn’t said that, wouldn’t say that, but you knew.

A surprised little gasp leaves you when he pulls you close, hands, clean now that he’d taken a moment to wash them, resting on you gently. One smoothes up and down your arm as he lets you lay against his chest, cheek pressed against his collarbone, his chin resting on your head; the other grabs at your thigh, pulling you to him until you’re tucked into his side, one leg propped over his hips.

“You did well,” he says softly, chest vibrating under your cheek as he speaks, “With your training, I mean. You did well. I’m… proud of you.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you are silent after that, neither of you knowing how to handle this new territory that you seem to be spilling into, but you don’t care, not with your heart pounding quickly in your chest. You’d think you were dying if it weren’t for the savage sense of victory threading through every inch of you.

Proud, proud, proud! The word echoes in your head with each pump of blood through your heart. It was so small, the barest of compliments, but from Ramsay it meant the world. It was something he’d said to you, only you, never to her, not once. Never to anyone else.

His chest rises and falls under your cheek, breath steady and even. He always falls asleep quickly, normally you do too. But not this time, not tonight, not wanting to let this moment fade just yet.

He loves you, in his way.

tagged lovelies: @helloworldiamnotarobot @drakonflames @marysucks-blog @watercolorskyy @valeskafics @iamaegontargaryenwife0 @aemshaircare @1997babyyyy @lovellies @little-moonbeam-666 @blackswxnn @wickedfrsgrl @echos-muses @iamawhorecrux @avidreader73 @marvelescape @rae-11 @ms-morningstaarr @chaotic-fangirl-blog @grsveeth0m @twglitching @hb8301 @delulumhaggy @burntliquorlips @simp-hub-bro @badxbabyyy @venchi-cremino @targaryenbarbie @fan-goddess

(tags are based on your answers to my google form; if you were mistakenly tagged, please contact me & update your answers on the form! thank you!)

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litmisfit · 8 months ago

Text

— 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙏𝙊 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙀𝙉𝘿𝙎 𝙒𝙀 𝙂𝙊 (𝙏𝙊 𝙁𝙊𝙇𝙇𝙊𝙒 𝙇𝙄𝙆𝙀 𝘼 𝘿𝙊𝙂)

—.🌿. PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x f!reader

—.🌿. TW. cursing. violence. blood and injury. gore. mental health issues. severe ptsd. flashback. heavy trauma. murder. panic attack. mentions of vomit. arguing. chan being a dick (sorry). just heaviness.

—.🌿. GENRE. tlou!au. angst. slight fluff.

—.🌿. NOTES. i had an idea to write this fic before to go along with two other of the same au i had, but it was written about a person who turned out to be a complete fuckface. i’ll come back in the future to re-write those with an actual likable person. however, this little mini series thing idk what to call it holds a very special place in my heart so i wanted to continue it, but with different people. i’ve never written for stray kids or any type of k-pop before so please bear with me if anything seems weird. another note about this piece, minho and chan are roughly 10 years older than the rest of the members. i apologize for that, but it works with the way the plot was written. anyway, i hope you enjoy! :)) btw, not proofread lmao.

— THE SUN WAS brighter today. it shone down, warm rays casting a brilliant golden hue to the fluttering field of grass. a gentle breeze passed by. its presence made stray hairs dance slightly, the strands tickling the bridge of y/n's nose. she inhaled, lungs expanding fully before letting the breath go.

she enjoyed the peace. the sound of distant birds. the smell of blooming wildflowers along the forestline. the feeling of the wind against her scarred skin. it was a moment of tranquility she was still getting used to. after spending so long on the hunt, fighting for survival and tracking one down, it felt unfamiliar. foreign almost, like she never spent a moment before basking in the blanket of silence.

her eyes finally opened.

felix always suggested a moment of calamity would help with the anxiety she carried. to stop and soak in her surroundings. it was to show she wasn't in constant danger. there was no need to step on eggshells every minute of every day, especially now since their group decided to settle down.

after chan getting shot, hyunjin taking arrows to the shoulder and lung, and y/n left beaten and bloody, they all needed a moment to relax. at least to relax as best as they could given the trauma they continue to carry.

the others resided in jackson, deciding to stay back home to help chan recover. y/n and hyunjin broke off, finding a farmhouse not too far from the community.

it was a two-story building, abandoned and forgotten since the beginning of the end of the world. the white outside paint was worn and the porch was well-loved, sporting scratch marks in the wood from used rocking chairs. the inside was open and roomy, giving them enough space to decorate it like their own. lots of windows brought in sunlight and the smell of the outside traveled through screen doors. a fence sectioned off the outgrown yard from the woods and a small barn sat outback. it housed a handful of sheep they rounded up when they first moved in and a small garden planted next to it.

it felt like home for the first time in a long fucking time. ever since minho died, walking the world without him felt empty. like she'd never find a place where she belonged again.

the thought of her brother made her swallow. she took a breath and stood, making her way toward the house and stepping through the screen door. the sound of it slamming shut caught hyunjin's attention from the kitchen.

he peeked around the wall to catch a glimpse of his girlfriend setting her flannel over the back of one of the wooden dining room chairs.

"hey," he said with a small smile, tossing the wet cloth he was using back in the bucket of warm water. the dishes could wait a moment. he walked over to her, using a hand to lean on the table.

"hey," her voice was weak. it sounded almost strained when she spoke, like she's been quiet for so long that she forgot how to talk properly. hyunjin wouldn't be surprised if she had. he noticed how having a moment to rest after chaos really brought everything out of her. the sleepless nights, the panic attacks, the anxiety, the way she interacted with everything now: it all poured out now she didn't use survival as an act to push it down.

he reached out, fingers pushing back a few baby hairs from her forehead. "you were out there a while." he said quietly. i'm worried about you.

y/n shrugged. "it's nice out." she said. don't be. i'm fine.

he forced back the words he wanted to say. i don't believe you. instead he nodded with a grin, glancing out a nearby open window. the breeze that came through blew the curtains apart lightly. "that it is." he looked back at her. "i'm thinking a salad with the stuff from the garden would be nice for dinner. cucumbers, broccoli, carrots: nice and fresh for a day like today. what do you think?"

she nodded. "sure." she spoke before slipping by him. he frowned, but bit down on his lip to hide it. he followed after her, watching as she grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water from the drinking pitcher.

"okay. i'll go put the sheep in the barn for the night and head to the garden." he explained, heading to the shoe rack next to the back door to put on a pair of his boots.

y/n sat down her glass. "i got the sheep. just go to the garden." she offered. hyunjin blinked at her.

"are you sure?" he asked, standing up. concern swam in his gut. she's been off today, more than normal and it's starting to worry him. he didn't want to leave her alone any more than he could today.

"yeah. it's fine." she reassured. "it'll take like ten minutes."

"okay." he said after a moment. "okay, yeah. holler then... if you need me." he covered his nervousness with a smile. he reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a small squeeze. she returned it.

"i will." she said before dropping his palm. "i'll be back."

hyunjin watched as she headed out the back door, dark eyes fixated on her shrinking figure. he pulled his hand up and rubbed his right shoulder, a familiar twinge of pain spreading across the muscle. he could feel the textured skin under his shirt, bringing back the memory of seeing y/n pinned down with fists flying to both sides of her face.

he shook his head, willing the thought away before it came. he sighed before heading towards the garden.

“come on, jesse, please.” y/n begged the last sheep. jesse, although small, had a knack for making things harder than they should. a mischievous ewe of the herd, black as night with snowy spots around her face, she enjoyed making her handlers work for what they want.

thankfully this last plea led her to give in, following the others inside the barn. y/n trailed behind to make sure the sheep didn’t try to run off before leading them into the pin.

they walked in and began munching on their dinner for the night as y/n locked the enclosure. “you,” she pointed towards jesse. “you are a bitch, you know that?”

the sheep bellowed as if agreeing to the statement. the snide remark earned her an eye roll. “jackass.” y/n muttered under her breath.

she turned, ready to head back to the house when a noise caught her attention.

she looked back, the end of the barn swimming in darkness from the setting sun. despite knowing she’s in a safe place, the thought of not being alone pressed down on her chest. “hello?” she called.

no person came out. in the place instead was a lamb, little tail flicking as it tried to hide between old farm tools.

“barney? how’d you get out?” she asked herself, striding over to catch the animal.

he caught wind of her actions and ran behind a bucket and shovel, making the two smash against each other and fall.

bam!

a scene flashed behind her eyes. minho laying still on the floor, looking just how he did when she woke: bloodied, bruised, and dead. his face was swollen and crimson leaked from his vicious wounds.

the sight caused her heart to clench and her breathing to catch.

“please…” she begged, trying to focus on the sheep in front of her. he sped by, too fast for y/n to catch and headed towards the barn doors.

she followed behind, breathing rugged and hands shaking. “p-please, barney.”

the wind outside picked up slightly. what was once a gentle breeze turned violent, catching the door before slamming.

she couldn’t see. she couldn’t feel. she couldn’t hear anything over the sound of her gasping breaths. hyperventilating overtook her, unable to properly calm herself.

yet as soon as the light left, it came back through a flicker of a flashlight.

she was back here again, swaddled in a thick jacket and gloves. snow melted in her hair that sent shivers down her spine. she stood at the top of a familiar set of stairs with a white door at the bottom.

minho’s screams were on the other side, calling out to her in pain and agony. the realization that her brother was in there sent her flying. she sped down the stairs, nearly tripping and calling his name.

“minho! minho!” she screamed, trying the doorknob. it was locked.

his voice grew louder and the sound of metal hitting skin came through the wood. “no, no!” y/n shouted, trying to slam her shoulder into the door.

smacking, screaming, kicking, punching, slamming. nothing worked. it never worked.

the sound of her name being cried from his lips made her head spin in desperation. over and over and over again until she felt herself being pulled.

being yanked back to reality was never easy. where she was always felt so real. so fucking real every time she’s back at that door, but the feeling of hands on her face and shoulder and the voice of hyunjin grounded her.

“y/n! y/n!” he shook her. “breathe, love. in and out.” he pleaded, feeling his heart twist at the sight of her frantic eyes. “he’s not here, none of them are.”

y/n took a breath, feeling her lungs skip from the straining she put herself under. it was shaky in nature as she followed along with the exercises hyunjin demonstrated.

she gulped and leaned her head back against the wall. she was sat on the dirt ground, straws of hay poking her skin through the material of her jeans.

in through her nose and out through her mouth.

“i’m sorry,” she rasps, blinking back the tears that burned her eyes. “i’m sorry.”

he shook his head and settling down next to her. “no need.” he spoke softly, brushing back her hair like he did before. he was gentle with his touch, fingertips like feathers across her sweaty skin. “there’s no need to be sorry, love.”

she nodded and screwed her hues shut for a moment. his hand fell to her knee.

“you haven’t had an episode like that in a while.” he muttered, thumb grazing over her pants leg.

“yeah,” she croaked, sniffling.

“is it the same one?” he questioned, eyes tracing over y/n’s features. swollen and red hues, the irritated skin around her nose, and the puffiness of her lips from her constant biting. she looked so worn down. that hurt more than any wound could.

“it always is.” she replied.

they sat in silence for a moment longer.

“come on. let’s get you cleaned up and fed. we can go to bed early tonight.” he helped y/n to her feet, placing a small kiss to her temple.

she didn’t respond, but let hyunjin lead her back to the house after making sure the sheep, now including barney, were good until morning.

her footsteps were sluggish and heavy. to hyunjin, it felt almost like carrying a drunk person, having to help haul their body weight back home. he didn’t mind it though. he was too preoccupied with his running thoughts.

his mind trailed back to that day. gunshots rang throughout the old theater they were held up in. he hurried from his place upstairs, wincing slightly with every step from his sprained ankle, but managed to follow the sound.

the image of chan laying still when he walked through the doors sent a shiver down his spine. his friend, his older brother practically, on the ground in a pool of his own blood, gunshot running through the back of his head and knee.

he gagged. seeing someone he was so close too lay limply and lifeless, it made him sick. his hands shook as he covered his mouth, trying to fight back the bile rising in his throat. yet, he didn’t have time to dwell on either his friend nor the vomit threatening to spill once the sound of another gunshot echoed through the auditorium.

the first thought that came to mind was y/n. she wasn’t anywhere near and deep down he knew she was in the midst of the havoc.

he didn’t waste time taking the stairs, but instead hauled himself up on the stage to run through the curtains. then he saw them.

abby anderson. she was the very person that set y/n off. the very cause of minho’s death. he remembered her. she looked exactly the way y/n described. built, muscular frame, long blonde hair tied in a braid, and a look that could kill.

god, the damage she caused. he’ll never forget the way his heart sank seeing y/n’s unconsciousness figure laying next to minho’s corpse. fear struck his bones, blending with the chill of the snow stuck to his skin. dried blood coated her nose and mouth, seeping between her lips and dying her teeth red and left eye starting to swell with purpling skin.

she was still alive. the shallow breathing of her chest told him so and he’d never felt so thankful yet so selfish.

the hope in his heart burned, happy to note his girlfriend was still here, but so disgusted with himself praying she wasn’t the one dead. that’s something he’d never grow to forgive himself and every time the memory of his friend’s body flashes by, the more guilt he continues to grow.

and this moment now was an entire recreation of that day.

abby was on top of y/n. her frame much bigger and stronger than the girl she had pinned. brutal fists were coming from all angles, paining y/n’s skin crimson.

he could see it everywhere. it seeped from her nose and mouth and leaked into her eyes. she coughed and gagged, trying her best to fight back with a broken arm.

the sight of it alone, the ptsd of the day he found her knocked out, it all came flooding back. so he charged. he sprinted and slammed against abby, pushing her off of y/n’s gasping form.

she wiggled in his grasp trying to take the upper hand. he stole it, swinging back with knuckles to meet her face. punch, punch, punch, punch. over and over with a rage he never knew burned in him.

he would kill her. he wanted to kill her and he was going to.

until a sharp pain struck his left shoulder. a deep ache he’s never felt before. he paused, both abby and himself staring at his wound in astonishment.

an arrow was driven through him, a broad head tip peering through his top, sporting blood and meat. red slowly started to spread across his white shirt, expanding like the very fungus trying to kill them.

then another hit and this time was much more painful. it the right side of his upper back, piercing right between his ribs and driven into his lung. the instant taste of metal flooded his tastebuds before a violent cough racked his system, blood spilling from his lips.

he doesn’t remember much after that. other than getting pushed off with knuckles to the face, everything went black. he didn’t wake up until weeks later with y/n by his side and her arm in a split.

he shook his head, willing such a painful memory away and fell back to the present.

he spared a glance over to y/n whose face was pointed down and hands shaking like a leaf in the wind.

yeah, an early night sounds good.

the sunset of the next day was just as bright, painting the chipped white paint of the house a warm orange.

y/n frowned at the sight of a familiar horse tied to their porch. she headed forward, the rabbits for tonight’s dinner bonded with rope was tight in her hand.

she was reluctant to step inside. a well known voice spoke with a gentle ease to hyunjin. she frowned.

a small step through the screen door caught the duo’s attention. hyunjin sent her a smile from the dining table, chan sitting right across from him.

he sent her a grin, too. it was hard to read, a mess of emotions passing through making it difficult to discern. his right eye was white, baring a scar circling the socket of his skull. the right corner of his mouth couldn’t move to far.

“hey, i was wondering where you were.” chan chuckled, willing himself to stand. y/n could see how shaky his stance was, causing hyunjin to leap over and help him regain balance.

��none of that. i’m capable of doing things myself now.” chan shooed hyunjin away, placing a hand on the male’s shoulder in a silent thanks.

he limped around the table, his left knee still weak after all this time but managed to make it to where y/n stood and pulled her into a hug. he squeezed her lovingly, happy to see his adoptive niece after so long. y/n wasn’t as expressive with her touch, opting to just rest her hands around his waist loosely until he backed away. she hoped he didn’t notice that.

he did, but chose not to speak of it.

he looked around, peering at the decor the couple managed to find to decorate their living room. “rather nice place you two have set up here. feels very… homey.” he chortled with a nod.

“well, it is home now.” she responded back, seeing hyunjin step over to take the food for the night from her palm, giving her hand a small squeeze while doing so.

y/n cleared her throat. “so, how’s everyone? good, i hope?”

chan nodded, turning to her. “yeah. felix is studying to help with the medical team. han, changbin, and seungmin are on patrols more often than not, and i.n. is, well, just i.n.” a light laugh left his mouth. “nah, he’s helping the town’s children with their learning.”

“that’s great. i’m happy for ‘em.” y/n gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“i’ll let them know you said that.” then, he sucked in a breath. “but, um…” he trailed off, trying to find his words. “but i’ve came by to talk about something.”

y/n cocked her head slightly. “what is it?” she questioned.

“here.” he sat back down on a wooden dining chair. he patted the table, motioning to the seat next to him. “come sit.”

she followed, seeing hyunjin come back from the kitchen out of the corner of her eye.

she watched as chan pulled out a folded paper and opened it, revealing a map of the east coast. “i’ve been putting out feelers for a while and a guy heard my story.” he smoothed out the sheet on the table. “he told me about a woman he traded with a while back when he was going through california. said she was built like an ox, traveling with a kid with scars across his face.”

y/n swallowed thickly, nails digging and scraping into the wood of her seat. she felt her chest grow heavy.

“he said they were living along the coast on a sailboat. here,” he pointed towards a marked spot on the map before peering up, meeting y/n’s eyes. she felt her stomach twist with his next words.

“that’s gotta be her.”

a silence fell over them for a moment, y/n unable to form the right words.

it’s as if hyunjin could feel that unease radiate from her and took a step, leaning forward and resting his hands on y/n’s shoulders. she could feel the slight trace of his thumb run comfortingly across the skin of her collarbone.

“we’re done with that, so…” he chimed in.

chan peered at y/n, brows furrowed. y/n let out a shaky breath. “i’m sorry,” she looked down.

she could see the way his face twisted, an expression of almost betrayal falling over his features. “well,” he cleared his throat. “i can’t go.”

y/n gave him a small nod. “i know.” her voice was growing weaker.

a pause followed after that. y/n could feel her skin crawl with the way chan’s eyes scanned her. then, a scoff.

“all right.” he sneered, grabbing the bag he traveled with and stood. “reckon it’s easy to forget about her while you’re sitting so comfy and cozy all the way out here–“

“hey,” hyunjin cut in, taking a step forward.

chan ignored him, still fixed on y/n and her saddened hues. “i’ll make her pay. that’s what you said.” he sneered while putting on his backpack.

“chan,” hyunjin tried again, stepping in his line of sight. y/n looked away.

chan rolled his eyes and snarled. “what a fucking joke.” he hissed and limped through the front door.

hyunjin turned to her, standing form towering over her. he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple. “stay here a minute, yeah?” he muttered. she nodded, feeling one more peck be placed to the crown of her head.

she heard him head out, footsteps heavy with anger.

“the fuck was that?” she could hear hyunjin’s voice flow through the open window.

“nothin’.” she heard chan respond back.

a groan of irritation came next. “god dammit, chan. you know what the fuck we’ve been through—“

“save it.” chan snapped. “she made me a promise.”

“i don’t fucking care!” hyunjin barked back, making y/n bite her lip until metal seeped to her tongue.

“and that’s your fucking problem, hyunjin. i know you don’t give two shits.”

“you listen here,” her boyfriend’s voice was sharp. “don’t you ever, i mean ever, come into my fucking house with that bullshit ever again. do you hear me?”

y/n was no longer paying attention to their conversation, too preoccupied with the thoughts running in her brain.

abby was so close. so fucking close. and y/n, she could end it once and for all. for her. for hyunjin. for chan. for all her friends. for minho.

she shook her head, forcing them away. it’s done. she’s done.

she grabbed the map and headed upstairs.

sleep didn’t come easy that night. hyunjin laid beside her, dark hair falling over his pillow with small snores leaving his lips.

y/n was sat up, feet dangling over the edge of the bed. goosebumps riddled her skin. the night air flown in through the open windows, making her shiver in her sleep shirt and a pair of hyunjin’s boxers.

she sniffled and sighed, swallowing back the lump in her throat before standing. she walked over towards the window and closed it quietly.

she peered over her shoulder at the man she loved asleep so soundly and made her stomach flip with both adoration and heartbreak. he’s been with her through it all. from minho’s murder, to the hunt for abby, to violence she’s committed, even to his scratch with death. and he’s still here, choosing to be by her side through anything and everything.

she dug her nails into the skin of her crossed arms. chan’s voice echoed through her mind.

i’ll make her pay. that’s what you said.

she let out a broken breath and buried her face in her hands, rubbing harshly at the skin of her forehead. she dragged them down her face.

another shiver racked her body. there’s more windows open downstairs.

with one last glance at the sleeping hyunjin, she took gentle steps into the hall and down to the lower floor. she walked around. the entire house was dark except for the moonlight shining through the curtains, bright enough for y/n to see to move around.

a howl of wind came from nearby. y/n strolled over, hands and feet chilly as she entered hyunjin’s little art room. the walls were pinned with his works. charcoal drawings of herself, paintings of their friends, sketches of jackson’s outline. he was talented.

y/n closed the window and took a few steps back, her hip knocking into a stool. a thud hit the floor, causing y/n to jump at the sound. her guitar case laid there and stared up at her.

she swallowed and bent down, opening it to reveal minho’s old guitar. it was loved, the wood scratched from old picks and old snapped string ends tied to the tuning pegs that he was too lazy to remove.

she grabbed it, thumb running across the neck. she sat on the stool and placed it in her lap, fingers falling back home to where they always were. a few soft strums followed. it was a familiar tune, one she grew so used to playing.

if i ever were to lose you, i’d surely loose myself.

she paused. minho’s voice sang in her head. future days by pearl jam. it was one of his favorites when he was young, he said. his mother used to play it for him when he was a boy and unable to sleep.

“and i wanted to teach you, you know,” he shrugged, sitting on the sofa in y/n’s little makeshift house she claimed as her own. “just in case you need it.”

she chuckled, twirling side to side in her swivel chair. “and why would i need that?” she asked. “i don’t even know how to play.”

he rolled his eyes in a playful manner. “that’s why i said i’ll teach you. it’s almost like you don’t listen.” he reached out, fingers tangling in her hair and giving it a good ruffle.

she pushed him away. “thanks for that. now i look like i’ve been attacked by a bear or something.” she sassed, trying to smooth out her locks.

“it’s not too bad. though, i don’t think hyunjin would mind no matter how your hair looked.” he teased, causing her cheeks to burn.

“shut the hell up.” she brought her hands to her face, trying to conceal her redness.

“yeah, yeah.” he laughed. “but i’ll teach you. if you can’t sleep, just play it. it’ll help. besides, it’s a good song.”

she nodded. “it is. maybe once i learn, i’ll play better than you.”

he scoffed. “doubt it.”

the memory played on repeat. she missed him and his dumb teasing. the only family she ever had was him, practically becoming her brother figure over the course of their journey across the country.

and his death: unjustified and left behind. it left a bitter taste in her mouth, especially since she’s given up on it. on him.

she couldn’t do that to him, not after all he’s done for her. she wouldn’t.

she needed to find abby.

hyunjin was cold when he woke up. the left side of the bed was bare, leaving him alone in the dimly lit room. the sun hasn’t risen yet and the bright moon left a ghastly white glow on the walls.

y/n was missing and that worried him. he knew her insomnia was growing worse by the day. she’d stay up for hours on end, tossing and turning with no dreams to be found. he wondered where she was now.

he got up, bare feet hitting the hardwood floor that sent a shiver down his spine. he headed out and down the stairs, hearing the sounds of shuffling come from the kitchen.

he rounded the corner and felt his heart sink. y/n’s back faced him. she was crouched, frame swallowed in minho’s old jacket he wore all the time, and she was stuffing things into a bag. she was leaving.

“hey,” his voice came out soft. it’s still startled her, making her flinch and peer over her shoulder. she stood.

“hey.” she replied, clammy hands rubbing against the material of her jeans.

“you okay?” he asked. it was dumb. of course she wasn’t.

she nodded nonetheless, lying straight to his face. “fine.” she croaked, stepping over to hide the backpack from his sight. it was useless to do so. he already knew what her plan was.

“come. let’s go back to bed. let’s talk in the morning.” he motioned towards the stairs and turned, hoping to not give her time to argue. he wasn’t quick enough.

“i need to finish this.” her words were broken, much like the way his heart was.

he clenched his jaw and screwed his eyes shut. he turned, taking long strides over to her. he shook his head.

“you don’t owe chan anything. you know that, right?” his hand reached out, brushing back her hair. she pulled away, looking up at him with exhausted hues.

“i don’t sleep. i…” her voice broke slightly. “i don’t eat. i’m not like you.”

hyunjin’s brows furrowed, face twisting in a blur of offense. he took a step back. “like me?” he scoffed. “what? you– you think this is easy for me?”

y/n’s frown stretched deeper.

he scowled. “minho was my best friend, y/n. for years, he was there for me. with– with advice, or solutions for my problems, even to just fuck around with. he watched me grow up and you think it’s easy for me to act like his death didn’t effect me?”

y/n shook her head. “that’s not–“

hyunjin cut her off. “i do this for you, y/n. everything i do is for you.” sadness washed over his anger. “i love you. please, just stay.” he grasped her face gently with his palms, thumbs running along the high points of her cheek bones.

“i can’t.” she whispered.

“so, am i just supposed to sit and wait for you? for me to drive myself insane thinking your dead or ripped apart?” he exasperated. y/n shook her head in his hands.

“i don’t plan on dying.” her voice was stable for the first time in a while.

“well, neither did minho.” the words slipped out faster than he could catch. his blood froze in his veins at the look of pain making home on y/n’s features.

she didn’t respond, but instead ripped away from his touch to grab her bag, taking steps towards the back door. he panicked, jumping forward to cup her face once again. “no, don’t. please.”

her breathing was ragged. what he said was unfair on every level and he knew that. but, anything to keep from separating, he’s willing to do. “please. i-i can’t…” he cracked. “i can’t lose you, too.” his eyes burned with tears, gaze locked with hers.

“i have to kill her, hyunjin. she’s still alive and minho’s not. i can’t live with myself as long as she’s still breathing.” she whispered.

he leaned forward, forehead pressed together, and let out a shaky breath. “let me come with you.”

“no.” her response was instant. “no, you can’t come.” she shook her head, attempting to pull away from him. his gentle hands stayed.

“why?” he begged. “tell me, why can’t i come?” he scanned her face. her emotions bled openly. her fear and agony of watching someone she cared for to be hurt again was on full display.

“you’ll get hurt. i-i can’t have you dying on me. last time was cutting it way too close.” she explained. “and that was because of me. you came because of me and that earned you a collapsed lung and a run in with death. everything that’s happened to you was because of me.”

she sniffled and hyunjin shook his head, wiping a rouge tear from her cheek. “no, god no.” he swallowed. “you think this was your fault? are you fucking serious?”

she nodded. “of course it is. if i hadn’t–“

“if i hadn’t, you would’ve been dead.” he cut in. “if i hadn’t been there, abby would’ve beaten you to death and i would be sitting in jackson wondering where you were. if i hadn’t, you would’ve been taken and killed by the wlfs. if i hadn’t, i would’ve lost you for good.”

another tear slipped down her cheek. he wiped it away, not acknowledging his own. “none of this is your fault. none. it has never been your fault. what abby did, you had nothing to do with and i know that in your mind, you believe you’re the root cause of everything, but believe me when i say you’re not.” he pushed her hair back, much like he did when she had her panic attack in the barn.

“and i know this is what you feel is needed. i know this feels like the only thing you can do avenge minho’s death and i know your mind is made up. i wont stop you, but god forbid i let you do this shit on your own. you’re much too precious to me to do that.” he breathed.

“i’d go to the ends of anything and everything for you. i’d follow you into any place you want. fuck, i’d walk blissfully into hell if that’s where you’re headed.” he licked his lips, salt on his tongue. “please, love, please let me go with you.”

y/n swallowed and sniffled, feeling the weight of his words crush her. she could see it in his eyes. please let me come with you. i’m begging, my love, please.

a sigh and then she nodded. “okay.” she croaked. “okay. you can come.”

a sense of relief filled hyunjin’s chest. he leaned down and captured y/n’s lips with his. desperation fled from him to her, spilling between them in a flurry of emotions. the very need to be by her side at all times consumed him, to survive and die right next to her. and he would without as much as a second thought.

he breathed her in, hoping to consume and bury all her worries and fears, and sprout them into flowers of hope and courage. she was his everything.

and if it’s to the ends they go, he’ll follow her like a dog.

58 notes · View notes

mxckiemxn · 7 months ago

Text

Standby

Chapter 2-Signs

Warnings: swearing, violence, death, anxiety, weapon use (guns, knives, etc), vivid descriptions of gore, mentions of torture (no main characters), slight hostage situation, slight mentions of dissociation, reader may be losing it a bit idk idk

Word Count: 6,038

Taglist: @rkive-joonie @tweetiebirb

Authors note: this one is a bit of a doozy lol. Reader just cannot catch a break 😔 (I know it’s my fault but it builds character lmao). There’s quite a bit of foreshadowing thrown in here so I’d love to hear y’all’s theories 🙊. Let me know what y’all think about this chapter, and as always, feel free to reblog if you like it! ~Mackie 💜

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's now been two days since you met Hobi and his friends, and today you were going to help them look for supplies. You couldn't quite comprehend why you’d volunteered to go out. You didn't have nearly as much experience as they did when it came to dealing with the zombies. Yeah, maybe it was easier to face them when you were part of a group, but you had been alone up until now.

You had the basic knowledge of how to deal with them, but no amount of preparation or intelligence could take away the overwhelming reality of the current state of the world. The truth is, nothing is guaranteed. There are no promises that could be made in regard to someone’s safety, they’d all be empty.

The harsh reality is that at any given moment, one of us could turn into a monster. Whether it happens because you’ve been bitten and are now infected, or you simply give in to the darkness inside of you. Either way, becoming something that you don’t want to become seems somewhat inevitable at this point.

You already felt it from the moment this mess began. You saw it when you fired a bullet directly into a zombie’s head to save Hobi. Sure, zombies were just a shell of the person that they once were, but they were still a person at some point. A human being with thoughts, feelings, goals, and aspirations. Someone who was loved by others and loved those people right back. You couldn’t help but wonder if the only difference between zombies and those who were still alive was as simple as a heartbeat.

There was no time to reconsider the solidity of your moral compass. The boys took you in and you needed to help them. Fresh water and a warm meal was somewhat unheard of these days, but that didn’t stop them from doing what they could for you.

You dressed yourself in a pair of jeans, along with a long sleeved shirt and boots before tying your hair up into a ponytail and sliding on a black baseball cap. You gave yourself one final look over before grabbing your gun and heading downstairs. Everyone else was already down there, standing in the dining room. Everyone’s bags were laid out on the dining table along with various weapons. You were greeted by Jimin who was leaning against the countertop.

“Ah, Y/N!” He exclaimed, drawing everyone’s attention towards you, as he motioned for you to stand by him.

“Good morning, everyone.” You greeted as you joined Jimin.

Much to your surprise, Hobi didn’t rush over to greet you as he did the previous morning. Instead, he remained silent as he stood in the corner by Yoongi who also kept quiet as his sight remained glued to the floor.

Great, they’re both upset with me. You thought to yourself. You understood Hobi’s hesitation when it came to you deciding to join them on a supply run. I mean, you were going in a smaller group opposite of his, and according to his statement to Taehyung the other day, he promised himself that he’d protect you. Yoongi, however, was a mystery. One that you were sure you’d figure out one day, but today was not that day.

“Are you ready?” Namjoon asked as he walked over to you, handing you your bag.

“I’m ready.” You said between a deep breath.

“Each group has a radio, including myself. They’re long range so team one and team two will be able to alert each other in case they need help. I won’t be able to hear you all once you pass the halfway point.” He said, referring to the location in between each team’s destination and the house. “Keep your gun in your back pocket but avoid using it if you don't have to. You don’t want to alert more zombies than you need to. I placed a miniature hatchet in your bag, use that if you can.” He finished as you nodded in response.

“We’ll be taking mine and Yoongi’s cars this time, so let’s try to get as much as we can.” Jin added.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all made your way outside and began loading up the separate vehicles. You were in the middle of sorting through your bag, pulling out the hatchet to have it prepared when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around and were met with Hobi’s kind eyes.

“Hi.” He said softly with a weak smile.

“Hey. Listen, I know that you want me stay back but-“ you began but were interrupted as Hobi gently held up your arm, taking off the bracelet on his wrist and placing it on yours. “What’s this?” You asked as you began examining it. It was purple and twine-like with beads that spelled out “hope” in the middle.

“This is my favorite bracelet. I never take it off.” He stated simply, as he kept a gentle hold on your wrist.

“So, why are you giving it to me?” You asked, a bit bewildered.

“Because it’s my favorite, which means that you have no choice but to be safe and make it back home so you can return it to me.” He said sweetly, causing you to reach up to wrap your arms around his neck.

“I promise to give it back to you.” You whispered as you pulled away to look at him. He didn’t try to stop you from going. Didn’t try to argue with you about it. As much as he didn’t like it, he respected your decision and accepted it as your own to make.

“We should get going. Be safe out there, Y/N.”

“You be safe too, Hobi.” You told him before climbing into the backseat. Yoongi entered the driver's side with Jimin in the passenger. You all gave Namjoon a final wave before pulling off, following behind Jin’s car.

The car ride was silent. Even Jimin, who was typically a ball of energy, kept quiet. It seemed like everyone was nervous about the trip and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was the same for the other group.

“Namjoon Hyung, we’ve made it to the halfway point.” Jimin spoke into the radio, letting Namjoon know that we would no longer be in contact with him.

Your anxiety arose slightly as the car in front of you made a left while your car made a right. This was it. No going back now. Yoongi drove for a few more minutes before the car came to a stop.

“Fuck.” He said, causing you to look out of the front window. The rest of the path was blocked off by a row of cars.

“What should we do?” Jimin asked as he looked at Yoongi.

“There’s no way for us to drive through. We’re going to have to walk. We aren’t too far away from the shop.” He groaned as he began pulling the car to the side of the road before parking. “Radio the other team, let them know that we’re continuing on foot.”

Jimin did as he was told, letting Jin know that our path was blocked and that the only way we’d get through is by walking.

“Alright, we need to move carefully. I don’t know if those cars were placed there in an attempt to keep zombies out or people. Either way, we stay alert and don’t draw any attention to ourselves.” Yoongi said as he glanced at both you and Jimin.

You hadn’t considered that the barrier might’ve been created to prevent people from getting through. The fact that some people were still alive was new to you.

“What do you mean, could there be another group here?” You asked him.

“I don’t know. Hopefully we don’t find out.” He stated simply. You turned your attention to Jimin who seemed as anxious as you were.

“We’ll be okay.” Jimin said and you weren’t sure if he was trying to reassure you or himself. Either way, it wasn’t very convincing.

You all made your way out of the car, weapons in hand as you began making your journey. Yoongi led the way with Jimin behind and you following. Slowing down as you all came across a sign hanging from a traffic light reading “TURN BACK”.

“Let’s keep moving.” Yoongi whispered.

As you reached your destination, you all found yourselves staring at the entrance. The doors and windows were all locked and none of you wanted to risk breaking them as it’d alert anything around you.

“Let’s check the rear entrance.” You said, as you began circling the building with the others trailing behind you. The back door was locked as well but you noticed a window to the right side of it that was ajar. It wasn’t excessively high up, but there’s no way that you all could climb through on your own.

“One of us could climb in through here and open the door for the others.” You stated as you turned to face the two behind you.

“Jimin-ah, lift me up. I’ll let you both in.” Yoongi said as he began taking his backpack off.

“No, I can do it.” You said, handing your bag to Yoongi.

“Y/N, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Jimin asked you with a hint of hesitation in his tone.

“She’s not going. We have no clue what’s waiting for us on the other side.” Yoongi stated sternly.

“I wasn’t asking for permission. What makes you think that you can tell me what I can and can’t do?” You argued.

“I’m the one leading this goddamn team.” He snapped back.

“Well, I’m the only one with a gun, Yoongi. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that I’m the only one who knows how to use one.” You refuted as you looked at the both of them.

Yoongi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. You were right and he knew it. You were the only one within your group who could fire a guaranteed shot. “Hoseok’s going to fucking kill me.” He groaned.

“Y/N, get on my shoulders and see if anything is in there.” Jimin told you, doing his best to cut through the tension. You nodded as you carefully climbed onto his shoulders as Yoongi kept a hand on your back to keep you from falling.

You attempted to open the window more, stopping abruptly and cringing a bit as you heard it begin to squeak. The wind started to pick up, allowing the scent of the room to air out. You began smelling the familiar stench of a rotting corpse, causing you to gag a bit as you covered your nose with your sleeve. It was then that you noticed the amount of dried blood all over the floor and walls.

There were some hidden corners in the room, and you were unsure if a zombie or another person could be occupying them. You were taken from your thoughts as you heard a light growl. You turned your attention to the sound, breath catching in your lungs as you saw it. Out of the shadows, a zombie appeared. It was a male and he looked young, probably in his early twenties.

As he got closer, you saw something that you were sure would never leave your mind. His eyes were gone, almost as if they’d been perfectly gouged from his head. It was clear that he hadn’t done it to himself, as you noticed that his wrists had been zip tied together and a sign hung from his neck reading “TRAITOR”.

As he dragged his feet across the floor, it became evident that he couldn’t see you. You looked down at Yoongi who was watching you with a concerned expression, as he saw how uneasy you looked. You said nothing, however. Instead, you raised a finger to your lips, signaling him to remain silent. Namjoon’s words lingered in your mind, reminding you not to use your gun unless you absolutely had to.

You carefully began crawling through the window, attempting to remain as quiet as possible. There was a desk directly below the window with papers and cans scattered around it. Your movements remained slow as you entered the other side, doing your best not to knock anything over in the process. Luckily, you succeeded but now you were wondering how you’d get down without knocking anything over.

You crouched down and placed your hands on the table for support. You managed to guide your feet to the floor and readied yourself, gripping the hatchet in your hand tightly. You took small steps to the creature who was swaying side to side. You felt a hint of guilt as your eyes remained fixed on his hollow, bloody sockets.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, causing the creature to open his mouth and let out a deep groan. You cut him off as your hatchet made connection with his skull, landing right in the middle. He remained still for a moment, mouth still hanging open before he began to fall. You carefully guided his lifeless body to the floor, refusing to let him go until he was completely flat. You didn’t know if anything else was roaming around here, and the last thing you needed was a loud thud giving away your position.

You released a shaky breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding as you looked at him. He died twice. You thought to yourself. You didn’t know who he was or what he did, but you knew that he didn’t deserve to die that way. It was unclear if he was bitten before he’d been tortured or after. Either way, he didn’t pass away peacefully. He was murdered brutally.

You shook your head as you tried to push away those thoughts, guiding your attention back to the task at hand. You turned to the door, carefully pushing it open to allow the two men to enter. Jimin’s eyes met yours and he quickly came to check on you. It wasn’t until that moment that you realized you’d been crying.

“Holy fuck.” Yoongi whispered causing Jimin to turn his attention to whatever Yoongi was looking at.

“How could someone do that?” Jimin said, now understanding why you were so upset.

“It doesn’t matter. He can rest now. C'mon, let’s get what we need and get out of here.” You said in an emotionless tone as you began wiping your tears.

“She’s right, Jimin. Let’s go.” Yoongi’s tone was a bit different than it had been before. His words were soft, but there was a hint of sadness coating them. Maybe he was going through the same thought process as you were. You turned to face him. The look he gave you was one of empathy, and he offered you a reassuring nod that you reciprocated.

Yoongi began leading the way once again, cautiously stepping out of the room as Jimin followed. You stopped in the doorway, turning to face the corpse once again. “I hope you’re at peace.” You whispered before following the other two.

You all searched around for supplies, finding various canned goods and some drinks as well. You grabbed some hygienic products that you found scattered along the floor before continuing your search. You paused as you came across some books. You looked around to make sure that the others weren’t watching you before directing your attention back to them.

You weren’t sure what it was, but something within you felt the need to make amends with Yoongi. Sure, he was being a bit of an asshole earlier, but we were all just trying to do our best to survive. You thought for a moment before grabbing a couple of them to give to Yoongi once you all made it back home, placing them in the front pocket of your bag. You began looking for more supplies again, finding more cans of food hidden underneath one of the shelves.

You stretched your arm out as you tried to reach all of them, your hands brushing against something small and flat. You laughed lightly as you inspected the item. It was a chocolate bar, still wrapped perfectly. You began searching for a date to make sure it was still good, letting out a satisfied hum when you saw that it wasn’t expired yet. You placed it in your bag next to Yoongi’s books. You figured you could give it to Hobi when you returned his bracelet to him.

Once you all were certain that you’d properly cleaned out the shop, you began making your way back to the car.

“We made it!” Jimin said buoyantly as you all climbed into your seats.

You were relieved to say the least, but you still couldn’t shake that image from your mind. You’ve seen zombies before and you knew that each of them had a story, but this was the first time that you’d witnessed something so intense.

“I’m going to check on the others.” Yoongi said as he reached for the radio.

“Seokjin Hyung?” Yoongi spoke into the device.

“Yeah, are you all alright?” Jin responded rather quickly.

“We’re okay. We’re heading back now. Are you guys almost done?” Yoongi asked.

“We’ve just left. See you soon.” Jin said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The drive back wasn’t nearly as silent as before, but the energy was still lackluster.

“I think we should tell the others about what we saw. We don’t know if the people who did that are still out there.” Yoongi stated. You didn’t want to relive that experience, but you understood where he was coming from. So, you agreed, as did Jimin. If someone could do something like that to someone they knew, then what would they do to complete strangers?

As you approached the house, you saw Namjoon and the others unloading the first car. They all turned their direction to your group, waving and offering big smiles. You barely had time to step out of the car before Hobi ran up to you, embracing you in a tight hug which you reciprocated.

“You made it!” He said brightly.

“I promised you I would.” You laughed.

“I missed you.” He said as he pulled away, keeping his hands on your shoulders.

“I missed you too, Hobi. Actually, I got you something.” You told him. You turned to grab your bag and opened the front pocket to redeem the chocolate bar before handing it to him. “I only found one, so don’t let the others see.” You whispered.

“You should keep it for yourself then!” He said with wide eyes as he tried to give it back to you, causing you to cross your arms.

“Nope, I got it for you. Someone so sweet should have something sweet.” You said, causing him to smile bigger than he already was. You weren’t sure how it was even possible, but you enjoyed the view, nonetheless.

“Thank you, Y/N! Let’s split it.” He insisted.

“Whatever you want, Hobi.” You agreed, motioning for him to hide it as the others began walking up to you, greeting you with warm smiles.

They were happy to see you, and you were just as happy to see them. You didn’t know them well at all, but you still found yourself comforted by their presence.

After everyone unloaded their bags onto the dining table, the boys began looking through everything. Seokjin’s team had a great haul, also finding various canned goods and drinks along with a few snacks like chips and protein bars that were still good. You managed to sneak upstairs to hide the books you grabbed for Yoongi. You placed them in the bedside table along with your gun before heading back downstairs.

All of the items had been put away into the cabinets and everyone was sitting at the table, chatting away as Namjoon finished plating the food he’d made for us. Just like the previous day, you sat in between Hobi and Jimin. Namjoon passed out bowls of soup to everyone. No one’s bowls were completely full as we needed to make sure things lasted as long as possible.

Everyone began talking amongst each other and this time you allowed yourself to join them. You felt as if you were getting to know them better as they told you about their lives’ when everything was normal, and you told them about yours. Jungkook told you about all of his tattoos, and you two joked about getting matching ones when all of this ended. If all of this ended.

You realized that you’d never given Hobi back his bracelet, and it seemed like he forgot to ask for it back.

“Here, I forgot to give this back to you.” You said softly, holding the piece of jewelry in your hand for him to take.

“You keep it.” He told you.

“But it’s your favorite.”

“It is, but I want you to hold onto it for a bit longer. Think of it as your lucky charm.”

You thought for a moment as you put the bracelet back on. You wanted to give him something in return. Something that would inspire him to stay safe at all costs, because he knew that he’d need to return it to you at some point. It felt like a lightbulb turned on when you realized that your hair was still in a ponytail, and you were still wearing your hat.

“Choose.” You told him, holding both your hat and your scrunchie in each hand. He began tapping his finger against his chin in an animated manner.

“How about this? It’s basically the same thing.” He said as he pointed to your scrunchie, causing you to laugh a bit as you slid the item onto his wrist.

“There, now we both have lucky charms.”

Everyone finished their meals, but we all remained at the table. Far too engrossed in our conversations to be bothered with getting up from our seats.

“Everyone-“ Yoongi spoke loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. “Jimin, Y/N, and I witnessed something during our trip that we think you all should know about.” He finished. You and Jimin shared an uncomfortable look with each other. Neither of you wanted to talk about it, but you knew that it needed to be done.

“What happened?” Namjoon asked inquisitively.

You guys told them everything. About the cars, the sign in the road, the zombie. Every weird thing that you witnessed. You made sure to avoid mentioning the fact that you entered the building on your own, knowing that Hobi would be pissed at Yoongi and Jimin for allowing it. They didn’t express it, but they noticed what you were doing, and they were grateful for it.

“That’s awful.” Tae said as he sighed deeply at the end of the story.

“You guys didn’t see anyone around?” Jin asked.

“No, we didn’t. We weren’t sure if they’d left or if they were dead now too.” You told him.

“I’m just glad that you all made it back safely.” Jungkook stated.

“This isn’t good. There’s no telling how long that guy had been there.” Namjoon said, somewhat stating the obvious. Although, we were all thinking the same thing.

“What should we do? I mean, if they’re still alive and they’re still around, what’s to say we won’t run into them?” Jin asked.

“Maybe we should consider moving?” Hobi suggested.

It was an uncomfortable thing to think about, but this was the reality you all were faced with. The people who killed that man could still be alive and for all you knew, they could still be in the area. No one could say how many there were of them. We couldn’t just take a risk and assume that we’d be fine.

“It’s something to think about. We’ve talked about going somewhere else when we couldn’t find any more supplies, but we never planned for something like this.” Namjoon said.

You all remained silent for a moment as everyone began weighing out the options, not that there was a lot to begin with.

“Y/N, I need something from you.” Namjoon said, causing you to sit up and give him your full attention.

“What is it?” You asked.

“I need you to teach us all how to shoot.” He stated, causing everyone to turn to you.

“I can do that. We need to find somewhere that we can practice without making too much noise.” You told them.

“I agree. I know we were trying to avoid making two trips this week, but we’re going to need more guns. Ideally, everyone would be armed.” Namjoon said.

“There’s a shooting range not too far from here. I think that they sold rifles as well for hunting.” Yoongi stated.

“We can start searching there. Maybe we can find some suppressors as well, it’d make training a lot easier." You responded.

“It’s settled. I’ll go with you and everyone else will stay here.” Namjoon stated.

“Shouldn’t half of us go? I can come too. It’s dangerous for both of you to go alone.” Hobi asked.

“It is dangerous, which is exactly why you all need to stay here. A group is too noticeable. I’m not sending Y/N out by herself, and I don’t know enough about guns. Besides, I stayed back today.” Namjoon told him.

“We’ll be ok. Maybe you guys could try securing the house a bit more? It would give us some extra protection until we decide where we’re going.” You stated to everyone, but you were mainly speaking to Hobi in an attempt to calm his nerves.

“We still have a few hours of daylight left. We can go now.” You told Namjoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone who was hanging back remained at the table, discussing ways that they could secure the house. You ran upstairs to grab your things and headed back down.

“Here.” Yoongi said as he placed his car keys in your hand. “Namjoon doesn’t have a lot of experience driving. You can take my car. It has more gas in it than Jin’s.” He continued.

“Thank you.” You said as you placed the keys in your pocket.

“It’s no problem. Just don’t wreck it.” He lightheartedly joked.

“Oh, I’m going to drive it into the nearest tree.” You said sarcastically, causing him to roll his eyes but you could see the smirk that he was trying to hide.

“Are you ready?” Namjoon asked as he grabbed his bag.

“Yep, let’s go.” You told him before quickly making your way over to Hobi. “We’ll be back before you know it.” You whispered to him, trying not to interrupt the others who were still talking.

“I know you will. We still have a chocolate bar to split.” He said, causing you to let out a small laugh.

Yoongi wasn’t lying when he said that the range wasn’t far. It took less than 10 minutes to get there, which was relieving. You felt as if you and Namjoon could grab what you needed without much trouble. As you parked the car across the street from the store, you couldn’t help the confusion building inside of you. The windows were still intact, seeming as if no one had attempted to get in.

“Don’t you think it’s weird that no one’s broken in?” You asked as you turned to face Namjoon.

“A little bit. I think that they may have protective glass. Maybe that’s why?” He suggested.

“I guess that could be it. How in the hell are we supposed to get in then?”

“We’ll just have to scope out the area. I can try to pick the lock if I need to.” He said, causing you to nod.

As you both made your way to the store entrance, you began looking through the windows in search of any zombies or people, just as Jimin had instructed you to do earlier in the day. Everything seemed perfectly intact. No guns were missing from the walls behind the counter. There was no indication that someone had gone in and trashed the place, it all looked untouched.

“I’m going to check around the back. Maybe there’s an entry point there.” You told Namjoon as he began fumbling with the lock, letting out a low hum in response.

As you began circling the building you felt as if you were repeating your steps, just at a different store. You knew that history tended to repeat itself, but you’d hoped that it wouldn’t happen to you within the same day.

Once you reached the back of the building, you paused for moment and peeked around the corner as you noticed a truck parked in the back. Your intuition seemed to be screaming at you. Sure, there were tons of abandoned cars everywhere, but something in you made you feel as if that one still belonged to someone.

You quickly made your way to the front of the range to let Namjoon know what you saw, but you froze as you reached your destination. The door hung wide open with no sign of the man you came here with. He could’ve easily gotten in on his own, but you knew that he wouldn’t have just left you. You took a deep breath before readying your gun as you snuck into the building.

You carefully peeked around each corner as you began heading down the hallway. You slowed down a bit as you heard sounds of a struggle and a voice that belonged to your friend.

“Get the fuck off of me!” He yelled.

“No, not until you tell me why you’re here. Are you alone?” You heard another man’s voice tell him.

“For fucks sake I was looking for a gun and I’m by myself.” Namjoon said. He wasn’t going to let this random man know that you were with him.

You peeked around the corner with caution, the man’s back was facing you as he had Namjoon pinned the floor with a knife to his neck. You slowly creeped up behind him, putting the gun to his head and clicking it.

“Drop your weapon and get off of him.” You said sternly, hoping that he couldn’t sense the shaking of your hands.

The man did as he was told, dropping the knife beside him and standing up with his hands raised. He attempted to turn around to face you, but you pressed the gun harder against him, causing him to stop with a flinch.

“Don’t fucking move unless I say so!” You yelled as you began pushing him, directing him to stand against the wall. You glanced at Namjoon who was trying to catch his breath as he stood up.

“Go find something to tie him up with.” You told him, cocking your head to the side as to guide him.

“L-look, I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to hurt him. I just wanted to know who he was.” The man stuttered.

“Don’t lie to me.” You told him.

“We can work this out! You guys can take whatever you need, and we’ll go on about our days.” He pleaded.

“Something tells me that it won’t be that simple.” You told him.

“I found some rope.” Namjoon said as he sprinted back into the room.

“Put your hands behind your back.” You instructed the man, who did as he was told.

“Tie him up.” You directed Namjoon as you kept the gun pressed to the man’s head.

Namjoon quickly did as you instructed him to do, unsure of what the end plan was. To be honest, you didn’t know either. You were just trying to find a way to keep the two of you safe without having to injure the man.

“Here.” You whispered as you carefully guided Namjoon's right hand to take the place of yours holding the gun. “Keep an eye on him. If he moves, pull the trigger.” You finished, making sure to state the last sentence loud enough for the man to hear.

Once you were sure that Namjoon was in a good position, you quickly grabbed both of your bags and made your way to the front of the store to fill them up. You grabbed everything that you could including bullets, handguns, suppressors, and the two hunting rifles that were hanging on the wall.

You began loading one of the rifles that was hanging by its strap on your shoulder and headed back to Namjoon. The man was babbling on about any and everything in an attempt to persuade the two of you to release him.

“You won’t get away with this!” He cried. “My friends will come looking for me.”

“Listen to me-“ you said, cutting him off. “We are going to leave and you aren’t going to try and stop us. I’m not going to kill you, but I promise you that if you or any of your friends try to find us, I will not hesitate. I will kill each and every one of you. Do you understand me?” You growled.

“Y-yes. I understand.” He whined.

“Good. Get down on your knees, do not turn around.” You instructed, as you handed Namjoon back his bag.

Once the man was on the floor, you began backing out of the room with Namjoon following you. You quickly closed the door and grabbed a chair, placing it underneath the doorknob before hastily returning to the car and speeding off.

“Shit!” Namjoon breathed.

You didn’t respond. Too focused on the road and checking your mirrors to make sure that you weren’t being followed.

“You saved my life, Y/N. Thank you.” Namjoon expressed gratefully.

“You don’t need to thank me. You would’ve done the same.” You breathed, slowly relaxing a bit when you were a good distance away from the building.

“I know, but still. I wouldn’t have made it out of there if it weren’t for you.”

“Do you think he was being honest about his friends?” You questioned as his words replayed in your mind.

Namjoon signed deeply before responding. Shaking his head lightly. “I don’t know.” He admitted as he turned to face you.

You simply nodded as you bit your lip and attempted to fight the tears that were burning your eyes. You knew that you did what you needed to do. The man would’ve killed the both of you had you not threatened him, but there was still a sense of guilt as you felt your humanity fading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two of you walked through the front door, finally relaxing a bit. The others were quick to try and greet you, but you remained silent as you looked at all of the faces around you. Smiles slowly fading as they saw the distressed look on both yours and Namjoon’s faces.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asked, eyes bouncing between you and the man stood beside you.

“We ran into another survivor.” Namjoon stated.

You weren’t even sure how it happened, but everyone ended up in the living room. Eyes glued to Namjoon as he told them what happened. You, however, weren’t listening. Instead, you sat on the floor with your legs crossed as you began looking through the bags and loaded each of the guns. It wasn’t until a voice called your name that you looked up. Everyone was staring at you in disbelief.

“Y/N?” Taehyung called out softly. “Are you alright?” He asked, his tone laced with concern.

“I’m fine.“ A lie. “I promise.“ Another lie. Without another word, you returned your attention to the weapons laid in front of you.

“We don’t have much time. I don’t know if that guy was being honest or not, but I don’t want to wait around to find out. Y/N will teach us how to use the guns and we’ll prepare to move.” Namjoon announced.

That’s two lives you’ve saved. Two lives within the span of two days. You weren’t sure what was happening to you, but it seemed as if by the snap of a finger, something changed. You no longer felt guilty. You no longer felt afraid.

Looking at the men around you, the ones you were so grateful for, you felt nothing except determination. Not a single person or thing would come between you and your friends. Each and every single one of you would make it through, together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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bratphilia · 1 year ago

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— ୨୧₊˚ w. afton

STRAWBERRY CHARM

a man calls you up wondering what your favorite scary movie is. cw ; college au and scream au, reader is college aged, william is her robotics professor, ghostface!william afton, reader is girly, vibrators, multiple orgasms, perversion, mentions of stalking, descriptions of gore, choking, consensual non consent, break-in, approximately one lick to the pussy, rough sex, dumbification, glove kink, slapping, slight daddy kink, cockwarming

BURN

you convince your husband not to shave quite yet. cw ; pussy eating, face sitting, bondage, squirting

HELPLESS

while trying to escape the damn haunted pizzeria after a murderous rabbit comes after you, you stupidly try to leave through the vent, only to get stuck. cw ; stuck and fucked trope, pussy eating, knifeplay, knife fucking (insp by this post!), the usual perverted afton, death threats, dub con, slight daddy kink

JEANS

while attending yet another meeting with your career counsellor, he has a few choice of words for you. cw ; age difference (reader is 18-21, william is 45-50), degrading, spanking, approximately two slaps to the face, blow jobs, rubbing through jeans? idk what to call that, coming in pants (fem)

CREEP

your next door neighbor is stalking you, and you dig it. cw ; handjob, blowjob, dom!reader, sub!william

COTTON TAIL

cw ; dumbification, overstimulation, oral sex (m receiving), rough sex

EXPOSURE

cw ; corrupt therapist!william, innocent virgin!reader, manipulation, pussy eating

HIS BUNNY

cw ; age gap (reader is college age 18-21 and william is 45-50), creepy and stalking behavior from william, oral sex (m receiving), facial, dirty talk, slut-shaming, mean dom!william, desk sex

OFFICE CHAIR

cw ; age gap (reader is 18-21, william is like 45-50+), dry humping, riding, make out session, implied friends w/ benefits

GRASP

cw ; bondage, praise kink, fingering, squirting, begging

PLEASE DON'T TRY TO FIND ME THROUGH MY DEALER

cw ; slightly dubcon, drugged sex, rough oral sex, implied overdose

THE INTERVIEW

cw ; desk sex

— ୨୧₊˚ m. schmidt

STRAWBERRY LIP GLOSS

you notice your endearing, but bashful, classic literature teacher can’t keep his eyes off of you and you decide to do something about it

FIEND

cw ; marijuana use, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, edging, bondage

SLEEPY HEAD

cw ; blowjob, slight somno, dub/con

SECURITY ALERT

cw ; dub/con, bondage, oral sex (m receiving), riding, orgasm denial, degrading

TEACHER

cw ; fingering, missionary, virgin!reader, soft dom!mike

OVERTIME

cw ; small age gap, fingering, missionary

ONE LAST PHONE CALL

cw ; phone sex, dirty talk, masturbation, mention of death, edging? LMAO

#masterlist #five nights at freddy's #fnaf

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twig-tea · 1 year ago

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Shadow the series: hopefully an enabling post

I want as many people as are interested to be able to watch this series so as promised: Here's a non-spoilery summary of potential triggers and squicks in Shadow the Series eps 1-7.

The really brief version: this show is really good, lots of intense things happening with family trauma, family violence, mental health, and abuse, but the actual supernatural stuff is pretty mild and the gore and violence is very minimal. There are also light comedy moments, and pining, and friendship, and the mystery is fun to watch unravel, so I didn't find it too spooky (but I have a high spooky tolerance so you may want to take breaks or otherwise do what you need to).

Ep1

Vomiting

Some creepy music

Slight jump scares

Depictions of drowning

Homophobic slurs

Bullying (including punches)

Scars (potentially self-harm but it's not clear)

Mention of ghosts, non-graphic ghost, creepy amorphous smoke

Ep2

References to hypnosis, potential gaslighting or hallucinations, uncertainty of reality

Institutional homophobia

Bullying (non-graphic)

Homophobia

Mention of possible teacher/student relationship (potentially unrequited)

Ep3

Bullying, homophobia

Mention of dead bodies

Mention of ghosts

Mention of family violence

Depictions of drowning

Flickering lights

Mild corporal punishment

Non-graphic ghost

Mentions of cancer

Creepy grinning (lmao idk how else to list this)

Ep4

Mentions of cancer and treatment including deteriorating physical state

Depictions of deteriorating mental state

Depiction of end-of-life medical care in hospital

Depictions of family violence (yelling, grabbing, threats, slapping, kicking, beating, threats with a gun) of both a mother and child

Hospitalization for mental illness, psychosis

Mention of antidepressants

Threatening someone's freedom with hospitalization

Accusations of infidelity

Depiction of suicide by hanging (not the actual death, just the body in partial shot)

Description of what sounds like childhood sexual assault from the perspective of a child (non-graphic, vague)

Depictions of alcoholism

Child neglect (feeding a child food they are allergic to)

Allergic reaction in a child

Beating (not too graphic but there is blood on knuckles and blood on face shown)

Funeral, death of a parent (mother and father)

Floating body

Ep 5

Floating body

Systemic inertia (probably not triggering but seriously infuriating)

Mentions of narcotic use

Mentions of bipolar disorder

Creepy mask

Casual mentions of father's death

Implied one-sided teacher/student crush (student hugging teacher from behind)

Non-graphic ghost

Homophobia, bullying

Teacher/student relationship (kissing, implied sexual relationship between older woman and younger male)

Negative self-talk around mental illness and medicating mental illness

Descriptions of hallucinations

Ep6

Smoking (supposed to be marijuana but looks like manufactured cigarettes)

Wet dream resulting from an erotic-coded moment with amorphous smoke (idk how to properly warn for this lol)

Scratches on body (ambiguous source)

Mentions of pregnancy

Implied infidelity (by a married couple)

Slap

Bite, punches

Non-graphic ghost, mild jump scare

Creepy "fun house" with decorations including a lot of bloody handprints/blood-sprayed walls, creepy clown, distorting mirrors, screaming, flashing light, red lighting

Ep7

Creepy "fun house" with decorations including a lot of bloody handprints/blood-sprayed walls, creepy clown, distorting mirrors, screaming, flashing light, red lighting

Multiple people punched in the head, bruised faces from being punched in the mouth (mostly student-on-student but one parent punching their child)

Mild jump-scare with a loud sound

Vision of multiple bodies on the ground, with pools of blood (brief, no visible wounds, gore is mild)

Clothed heavy makeout between married female teacher and male student

Flash of someone blindfolded and someone with a gun

Implied sexual dream with amorphous smoke

Mention of loss of a limb, dripping of blood (no wound visible)

Mentions of drug use (spoon over a flame shown, implying heroin)

Depictions of someone dying by firing squad as a death sentence (death not shown)

Non-graphic ghost

Someone being choked

The preview for the second half has a bunch more stuff, but nothing that hasn't been warned for in the first half (choking, punching, hanging, creepy mask, amorphous smoke, etc.)

#shadow the series #bl meta #potential triggers and squicks

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scariusaquarius · 1 year ago

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ghost on the shore 4.

Nixie! Leon Kennedy x Fem! Reader

Summary: After the sudden death of your nephew, a sudden detail about that strange lake within the woods piques your curiosity. Unable to withstand the temptation, you decide to see if the legends of the lake were true. Do you wish to reap what you sow?

A/n: I honestly have no excuse as to why this took so long to get out other than laziness and procrastination. Life has been a bit of a bundle of fireworks and i am the lit match in the box lmao. N E WAYZ, i hope you guys liked the plottwist and enjoy the ride!! I have some ideas cooked up but am gonna do my best to incorporate what I think would work most for the story. Hopefully we'll get some more Leon action soon <3

Chapter 3

Genre: Folklore, Horror, Angst

Rated: Mature

Warning: Death, Drowning, Child Death, Cursing, Nudity, Graphic Depictions of Death, Suicidal Thoughts, Slight Gore, idk what else

Author: ScariusAquarius

When you arrived at work, the pounding in your head had yet to go away. It was almost like a chronic migraine; the light causing the pain to intensify and blurring your vision slightly as you drove to the shop. Parking your truck, you sluggishly slid out of the seat and walked in, slowly taking your sunglasses off while Chris was glancing up at you from his desk. His eyes squinted as he took in your appearance, and the man stated.

"Damn, you look like shit, (L/n). What the hell happened?"

You grumbled, running a hand through your frazzled hair with a sigh.

"Pretty sure I had way too much to drink last night and woke up to Jack jumping all over me. He was way too excited to be mushroom hunting with Johnny today."

Chris looked at you for a moment; observing your appearance and the way you winced as sunlight reflected onto your face from a passing vehicle outside of the shop. Chris then sighed and sat back a bit within his seat. He spoke gently as a strange and perplexed look came over his face.

"Why don't you go spend the day with them then? I'll cover for you today and make yesterday's pay double time?"

Your eyes widened in shock before a strange sense of unease came over you.

As if this wasn't supposed to happen.

"Are you absolutely sure, Chris? I already planned to come in for you and I don't want to leave you hanging."

Chris rolled his eyes before he teased you, winking at you.

"You can pay me back with a drink once you get back from mushroom hunting."

You blinked at him owlishly before chuckling and shaking your head as you backed out of the shop.

"Not a chance, Redfield."

Chris scoffed, but before he could get another word in, you were already out the door with your phone in hand.

(Nickname): Hey JM, is that offer to come along still open?

JM: Sure is. Did Chris let you go or something? You aint got yourself fired did you?

(Nickname): hell no lmao Chris would be a damn idiot to let me go. He's letting me off for the day cause I apparently look like shit today

JM: Well, he aint wrong 😂

(Nickname): go fuck yourself. I'll be there in five minutes, assface

Huffing, you rolled your eyes before heading on down the road. For some reason, there was something in your gut that felt something was wrong. It was almost as if something was different; something important that was missing....but what was it?

Why were you different?

You frowned and glanced at yourself in the rearview mirror. Your eyes had bags beneath them, almost as if you hadn't slept in days, and your hair was frizzy. Your skin looked a bit pale, and you glanced away with a grimace. So maybe you did look like shit....but that was normal after a night of drinking, wasn't it?

So why didn't you feel hungover? The only thing bothering you was the headache that kept coming and going randomly. You were pulled from your thoughts when you pulled into the driveway, Jack jumping up and down in his batman rainboots and swinging his big basket John had bought him for the occasion.

"Aunt (Y/n)! Are you going with Daddy and I?"

You smiled gently despite the volume of his voice making your head swim, and you nodded as you stepped out of the truck. You picked Jack up the second he jumped at you, and you lifted him up, teasing him by pulling on the brim of his sunhat.

"Why, of course! I can't let my boys have all the fun now, can I? Besides, someone has to keep your daddy out of trouble."

John made a face at you, flipping you the bird before he gestured to his motorcycle.

"Unless we're all cramming on the bike, we're taking your truck."

"No shit, sherlock. Give me a minute to get changed."

John nodded before loading Jack into the truck, and you were quick to get inside to change into some forest-appropriate clothing. As you went into the bathroom and turned on the light, you gasped as the bulb suddenly burst; plunging you into darkness. Fishing your phone out of your back pocket, you turned on the flashlight as a strange chill ran up your spine.

A sudden burning sensation on your leg had you almost yelping, and you flicked your phone down to your leg to see an angry red mark on your ankle. For a moment, all you could do was stare as you realized the mark almost....looked specific in shape.

Like a handprint.

A sudden stinging in your head had you feeling nauseous.

The water in the tub bubbled angrily, and you both watched in terror as the man in the lake brought his head up out of the tub. His eyes were pitch black, angry and menacing as he hissed out, his hand shooting out and gripping your ankle painfully.

"Mine!"

You panted as John knocked on the door, his voice lulling you back from the strange memory-like vision.

"Hey, you alright in there?"

You took a moment to catch your breath and carefully opened the door, John's confused face greeting you. He raised an eyebrow as he noticed your panicked demeanor, squinting slightly.

"The hell has gotten into you? You alright?"

You stared at him for a moment before shaking your head slightly to clear away the sudden fogginess, replying shakily.

"Yeah, the...uh, the....um, lightbulb burst. Scared the shit out of me."

John snorted before teasing you despite the slight suspicion still swimming in his stormy grey eyes.

"Leave it to you to get freaked out by a light going out."

"Get on with yourself, would you?"

John snickered as you shoved past him, but even as you went out the front door, John couldn't help but feel as though something was off.

What was missing?

The water rippled gently.

-TIMESKIP-

As John drove the truck and Jack excitedly bounced between you both, you were staring out the window with a frown. The closer you guys got to the forest, the clearer the anxiety became. You weren't exactly sure what had you so on edge, but as John parked and asked Jack if he was ready, you couldn't help but to smile and relax.

Perhaps you were just being dramatic. Perhaps it was all in your head, so as John gathered the camping gear, you were quick to stretch and crack your back to get ready to hike. Jack came up to you, jumping up with a big smile.

"Aunt (Y/n), can you give me a piggy back ride?"

You smiled and lifted the boy, putting him up on your shoulders, your nephew squealing with delight as he became high up in the air.

"Daddy, look! Look! I'm bigger than you!"

John scoffed and wagged his finger at Jack.

"Now don't you go growing up on me too fast now, or I'll be real cross with you, boy."

Jack giggled, and you chuckled before gesturing.

"Lead the way, JM."

John nodded and began walking, leading you both through the thick foliage of the forest as if he'd done it a million times before. All was quiet for a moment as a sudden light of twilight settled over the woods. You hummed along as Jack sang a sea shanty from one of his latest fantasy books he had been reading, absent-mindedly walking after John as the man led you deeper into the woods.

A chill was settling into your spine, making you shiver slightly as you pointed the fact out.

"Man, it's getting chilly."

John turned to give you a strange look, a bead of sweat running down his neck as he glanced at you.

"You're feeling cold? It's smoldering out here!"

You shrugged and said.

"You know I feel the cold more than you do, which is surprising considering you're more bones than skin."

John made a face at you, huffing.

"Piss off. I look good."

Jack giggled and whispered to you not-so-quietly.

"Daddy said a bad word."

"Yeah, he sure did. How does five dollars in the swear jar sound?"

John guffawed, exclaiming.

"Five dollars?!"

You snickered as Jack giggled loudly, and you adjusted the boy before John grumbled to himself, placing down the camping gear and stated.

"We'll camp here. There's a lake just beyond the campsite that we can get some water and filter it to drink later. Let's set up and get to mushroom hunting. Sound good, Jack?"

"Yeah!"

You set Jack on the ground, and you crackled your knuckles.

"Alright, I'll get some firewood and build up a fire while you and Jack get the tent set up."

"Of course, make the men do all the heavy liftin and buildin'"

You shrugged.

"It's a mans world, so I've heard."

John just rolled his eyes before shooing you away, and you began to gather up sticks and dry logs for the fire. As you began to get a bit farther away from the camp, you were suddenly aware at how quiet the forest was. There was no wind, no birds, no animals, not a single sound to be heard other than the bittersweet melody of a violin being carried in the distance.

There was a part of you that was shocked and stupefied by the sound, but another part that was curious and enchanted by the beautiful music. Why on earth would anybody be playing a violin in the forest?

You were certain that you had lost consciousness for a moment because one moment, you were taking a step towards the music and the next, you were knee-deep in the murky waters of the lake. Your heart was racing, mouth agape as you stared at the center of the lake, and he was pleased.

His cyan eyes were captivating, looking at you as if you were the only thing he could ever have wanted in his whole life, and you were unable to formulate a coherent thought as his music turned sultry and romantic; beckoning you to come to him.

Come closer, little dove. Listen to my song.

I missed you.

You could hear the words in your mind as clear as day, and his statement confused you.

You were certain that you had never come across this person before...but his voice was the same as the one you had heard in your memory-like vision. His face was the same except he didn't look so...monstrous. In fact, the Man in the Lake looked like a normal naked man save for the deathly pale complexion he had.

You blinked, and suddenly he was right in front of you, his eyes soft as he gazed at you. The man murmured, kneeling before you when your knees suddenly buckled as you stared deep into his enchanting eyes.

"You....don't remember...."

Why were you different?

He sounded sad, his violin becoming sad as well, and you spoke breathlessly, feeling as though the man was stealing the air from your lungs with every note that he played.

"Don't remember what?"

He was quiet for a moment, his eyes gazing longingly at your lips, and the man brushed his nose against yours. His skin was so cold that it forced a shiver out of you, and he whispered softly.

"This time....I'll be...different too."

Closer and closer, the man came to you, brushing his fingers against your cheek as he brushed his lips against yours, and like electricity, the feeling shocked you. Your eyes widened, wondering why you couldn't pull away, why he felt so familiar before suddenly, your eyes were fluttering closed and you were being sucked into his trance completely.

"Aunt (Y/n)!"

You gasped and jolted, startled and confused to find Jack and John standing before you. John looked spooked, concern flashing within his stormy eyes, and he instructed Jack as the boy crowded you.

"Stand back, Jack."

"Ugh, my head....what the hell is going on?"

John knelt beside you, his fingers vrushing through your hair to feel your skull for any injuries as he spoke, his tone stern from his worry.

"You just froze up, wasn't moving or nothing. You kept mumbling and then just collapsed! You were out for 10 minutes. Thought you were having a goddamn stroke or seizure or something. I knew I should've made you stay home."

You winced as your headache resurfaced, and John carefully helped you to stand up as you mumbled.

"I'm probably just dehydrated and hungry or something. I promise I'm alright."

John shook his head, hissing slightly in frustration.

"No way. I'm taking you to a doctor. This ain't normal, (Y/n)."

You were becoming frustrated as well, shaking your head with a grimace.

"No, John. I'm okay. Just...take me home. I just need some more rest and food."

John gave you a disgruntled growl before he sighed deeply. He gave Jack a look before saying.

"Alright, fine. I gotta stop into the drug store for Jack's medicine anyway. His inhaler is almost empty. We'll come back later tonight, Jack, alright?"

Jack nodded, and the three of you were loaded up into the truck. As Jack hummed along to the radio, you were staring out at the forests as the trees flew past. John was driving fast, tapping the steering wheel with a nervous look on his face as he continued to glance at you every now and then. While his worry was normal, there was a part of you that was annoyed by it. You just needed sleep and rest....definitely a bath, too, because of how much you had been sweating.

It didn't take long for John to get into town, and the three of you got out to go into the drug store. Once inside, Jack and John went to the pharmacist while you looked around at the shelves for a quick snack. As you scanned the shelves, you could feel a presence behind you.

Familiar and cold and smelling just like the rain.

You slowly turned around, and were startled to find that nobody was there. Shaking your head, you cursed and sighed.

Get a grip, girl. You're just being delusional.

But why did it feel so real?

You took a calming breath. You definitely just needed some food, sleep, and a nice relaxing bath. Grabbing your snacks and a drink, you met with John and Jack at the counter and stood quietly as John exchanged money and flirtations with the cashier before you three left.

When you arrived home, you immediately went into the bathroom and began to fill the tub. Lighting up candles and placing epsom salt and bubbles into the water, you ate your food while you waited for the bath to fill up.

You could hear John and Jack playing around in the living room as Jack watched one of his shows, and you sighed softly to yourself as the bath was finally filled. Stepping into the tub and sighing in delight as the hot water immediately helped to relieve your tension, your eyes closed and you finally felt peaceful.

There was a sudden thought of familiarity about the scene, but as always, there was another part that felt as though something was missing. Why did you feel so empty? Why did you feel so....wrong?

You were a bit sleepy, humming softly as you relaxed more, and you shivered at the feeling of hands on your body. Fingertips brushed against your ribs, lips on your ankle, and your eyes were stuck shut, refusing to open despite the sudden shock that ran through you.

The hands were gentle, fingertips ghosting along your skin, and you were aware of the fact that the lips were getting dangerously close to your womanhood. Tingles of electricity ran down your spine, and a soft sigh left you.

While there was a part of you that was afraid, there was another part that was under his spell as his violin echoed within the quieter part of your mind.

I missed you.

Why did it sound so gentle and honest? You scrunched your face up slightly as the man gripped your hips gently, and you listened as water came crashing down around you in the tub.

He was hovering over you, the distinct smell of ozone and rain wafting into your senses, and his cold nose brushed against yours.

"I want to hate you....but you intrigue me...clever little dove."

But why? What had you done to deserve it?

His lips were on your cheek, his body slotted between your legs, and your heart was pounding and racing within your chest. His hand was cupping your cheek gently, and from the gesture came another vision.

The man’s hands were soft against your naked skin, gliding along your ribs and stomach before his hands climbed up to your shoulders, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered.

"All mine."

You let out a shaky breath, and the man whispered into your ear.

"Pretty dove....it's so silly to resist me....but I will be different too."

Heat was blooming in your chest, and you slowly opened your eyes to look directly into his. The man looked eager, dipping his head down as he whispered against your lips.

"Let me in....pledge yourself to me...."

Come closer. Listen to my song.

His eyes were half-lidded, and you blinked as you became overwhelmed by his stare. Suddenly, the illusion was broken, and you were left in the bathroom all alone, the water freezing. Shivering, you shook your head and stood up, cheeks hot from the embarrassment. Why couldn't you stop thinking about some fictional being that didn't exist? Especially in such an intimate way!

Swallowing thickly, you blew out the candles, drained the tub, and you missed the dark mark of a kiss on your neck right where the man had kissed you, the bruise slowly fading away.

The water rippled gently.

[CHAPTER 5 SOON]

Tagging: @wildest-dreams-at-midnight @motzgurke @chernayawidow

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon scott kennedy x reader #leon s. kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon scott kennedy

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villruu · 1 year ago

Note

👀

Oh man, I have like a LOT of wips (mainly DSMP and LMK) but there's this whole-ass pokemon fic series I have in my docs that's about submas. Basically, after an accident Emmet makes a deal w the devil to save Ingo from death, and as a consequence they get cursed into becoming zoruas whenever they dont know exactly when and where the other is. It has 8 fics planned and i have like 5 halfway or mostly written. The first fic is mostly written but a few scenes are missing and I'm just blocked on how to continue lmao

I am not sane in the slightlest about submas<3

snippet from the first fic under read more bc uh slight gore? And Angst? Idk

Emmet clinged to Ingo’s chest, feeling the small shift beneath his hands, and choked on the hatred burbling up inside.

There was too much blood, and Emmet had never thought himself as a squeamish person, but now, holding his injured twin, he barely managed to keep the bile down. He patted desperately for his belt, and choked up a sob as he noticed the broken leather hanging from his pants. The belt must have gotten cut, and he could not see his pokemon anywhere near. Ingo also didn't have his, probably having been accidentally left behind in the cave above.

Desperation tried to make him move, but he felt every muscle locked up, as he felt Ingo’s blood flow between his fingers as he held his head as gently as he could. He didn’t know what to do, panic slowly obfuscating each option, until Emmet felt as if he were just a wild beast cornered against a wall, scrambling to survive. He would have stayed like that forever, if not for the pained weak whine of Ingo.

Emmet flinched, and without thinking anymore, he stood up with his twin in his arms and started to search for help. Adrenaline fueled him, and Emmet did not feel even an ounce of resistance, as he ran through the thick forest, hoping that the Universe had been kind to them and they had fallen towards the side of the mountain where civilization resided. Scratches and thorns started to decorate Emmet’s body, but he did not pause, in vain searching for help, for anyone, anything that would save his twin.

He sees a path, worn and old, and before he can question its state, he follows it, heartbeat tuning out everything around him except for Ingo’s shallow breaths against his neck, where Ingo had hidden his limp head as they ran in search of help. The path was more often than not covered in plants, but Emmet passed through, keeping a hand around Ingo’s hastily made tourniquet made of his jacket.

The path cleared out, and Emmet stumbled into a shallow clearing, a ring of thick forest surrounding it.

There were only crumbling graves, erased through the rain, wind and age, a half destroyed statue erected in front of what appeared to be a bench. He stumbled, and deposited Ingo on the bench, tears obscuring half of his view. Emmet looked around, but not even pokemon were nearby, everything dead silent, not even wind daring to rustle the leaves on the trees.

“Please,” He rasped out, even despite knowing what would happen as he realized that civilization or help would never arrive, “Ingo, please.”

His brother just breathed, and that was all Emmet needed right now, for him to continue breathing. He collapsed in front of the bench, and sobbed, clutching at Ingo’s torn up sleeve, ignoring the way blood seeped onto the ground, painting everything in his brother’s essence.

Emmet knew they had fallen to the wrong side of the mountain, and the knowledge that no one would arrive for his brother felt almost too much. He wouldn’t last that long too, he could already feel the edge of pain drawing in, circling around, constricting his chest and making everything he saw blurry and faded.

“Stay alive,” He sobbed, wishing for once his face weren’t always a mockery of a smile, “Please, please, Ingo.”

Emmet had never been religious, had never put any stock into the Gods of this world, but Emmet set everything aside and closed his eyes, clutching Ingo’s cold arm, and prayed.

He prayed to whatever was out there, no words uttered, to anything, anyone to please, to please save his brother. He would do anything, anything for Ingo to live.

Wind swept through the clearing, what seemed like the beginnings of a storm gathering around them, but Emmet ignored everything, and continued to pray, fervently, no matter what.

“Anything?'' A distant voice came, and Emmet flinched, looking up to see…. Something, looking over both him and his brother.

“Please!” Emmet sobbed, “Ingo deserves to live!”

“He would not survive,” It said, its body a coiling mass that suffocated the sun above, “In this state, he is too far gone.”

“Then, then,.... I'll take it! I die in his stead, won’t that work?!” Emmet pleaded.

A rumbling not unlike an earthquake shook Emmet through his core, and he belatedly noticed it was just this thing’s laughter.

“You will not remain the same, my powers corrupt whatever it touches,” It said, its burning red eyes glaring into Emmet’s, “Would you be willing to sacrifice so much for your twin?”

“Always,” He breathed out, shaking but keeping firm his eyes onto the others, something telling him this was important, “For Ingo, I would do anything and everything. And he would do the same for me!”

“Very well,” It said, its face getting closer until it was barely a few centimeters away, “Through time and space, you shall prove your words.”

It got closer, and Emmet felt the faint sensation of something electric and colder than ice briefly touching his forehead.

“I can’t wait to see who you shall become,” It said, its long and coiling body surrounding both brothers, “Until we see again, Unovan Twins.”

That was the last thing Emmet heard, before his hearing turned into colors, he tasted electricity, and he fell into the most painful sensation he had ever felt, a glimpse of a World so far away and strange that could not be described before he fell unconscious, hand locked onto his brother’s arm.

#vrill talks #vrill fics #wip meme #Emmet is NOT okay #the first fic is just like 5 times emmet and ingo have a good adventure and the ONE time it all goes fucking wrong kekw #the +1 is when ingo practically fucking dies #Emmet becomes a hisuian zorua bc he died for ingo but got too stubborn to just die and let his twin alone lmaooo #for context: Emmet and Ingo are around 15-16 in this snippet. They are very young and hurt and afraid #can someone PLEASE come get these kids?#skitty you have NO idea how insane i am about this series #all the fic have titles referencing train terminology #they're just OUGH #anyways yeah [thumbs up emoji]#this is a LOT lmao #i just think they're neat #Shared Illusions AU #<- the name of the au if i ever talk about it again kekw

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mallsharks · 2 years ago

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do people post edits here? idk anyways this is our first time making an edit lmao, just spent like an hour on this? anyways slight flash warning and some spoilers for generation loss, no gore or anything though also go stream laplace's angel by will wood its a fucking banger

#generation loss spoilers #generation loss #fan edit #flash warning #epilespy warning #genloss #generation loss ranboo #edit #video post #unmute

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gloweeeeeee · 1 year ago

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first post <3

this is a dream i had btw idk if imma continue this

TW : suicidal (?) thoughts, slight gore (idk what i’m doing), abuse mentioned

she/they pronouns used for mc!!

zombie? apocalypse - 8/9/23

1:?? pm after a nap bc i only had 2hours of sleep the night before (i was listening to rotten mango while sleeping lmao)

whole dream was in 1st person view btw!!

…

me (mc) and a bunch of orphaned kids in a building. the “adults” of the building are telling us abt the history of what happened to the world. blah blah, monster came and started to take over minds of the living, he would eat ppl and that’s how the apocalypse started happening. (the ppl where evil btw and abused us)

time skip to the day me n another kid (w irl!!) n we are the only ones left in the room. we where eating quietly with some food that i managed to sneak from outside the room we where in (not outside the building tho) when she hear a screech of wheels outside. it’s a school bus. according to what the adults told us before they…left, this monster comes and takes people with a school bus we are on a higher floor btw. the bus parks beneath us and the girl next to me looked away.

“ (mc), i’m scared” she said on the verge of tears

i quickly look at the window and notice large LARGEE hands coming at the school bus and shooting/crawling up the building and entering our window before grabbing the girl’s face. all the other hands also enter through the window, mindlessly grabbing at the air around to check if there was anymore ppl i was righttt behind the girl and they could prob reach over there if they wanted to, but for some reason, that hand stopped and retreated. the girl still has a hand over her face tears pouring out her eyes as she pushes me out of arms reach when she notices another (finger? hand?) try to touch me,

“ i won’t let them get you, (mc) “ but despite her efforts, the figure touched my forehead/hair line . after a minute of silence all the hands stop including the one on the girl face, and gently retreat. she collapses.

for some reasonnn there was another skip and we’re outside now lol. we’re walking out in the sun and the school bus suddenly returns and slows to a stop to where we where walking. i duck behind the girl as i notice a man walk out of the bus with a saw in his hand. he tries to attack the girl by placing the saw on her neck, making some incomprehensible noise before looking at her and pulling away. he then move on to some ppl behind me (?? idk how they got there) and does the same thing two times…

(SOME RANDOM FINE BEHIND DREADHEAD ZOMBIE CAME INFRONT OF ME ACTING ALL CONFUSED AND HIM AND THE DUDE W THE SAW HAD A MINI FIGHT😭😭😭saw dude didn’t kill him tho)

….before coming to me and threatening me the same way. except he didn’t pull away . but instead of even trying to fight him off, i let him kill me .

*dream ended here*

i wrote all of this cuz i feel like this lowk has insaneee potential to be a fun anime if my character wasn’t a suicidal loser🙄🙄.

i woke up and was like

damn🧍🏾‍♀️

but yeah i was thinking of a better scene after the girl was “taken over” by the hands

…

the hand gently pulls away from the girl face and leaves from the window. the force of the hand leaving pulling her out the window backwards. we where high up .

thud!!

the mc would be athletic in this one so they follow after the girl by doing some parkour bs on the windows and railing.

they reach the floor in no time and notices the girl in a pool of blood

the mc stands there for a second tears beginning to form in their eyes. that is untill she sees a twitch

the girl is twitching . the mc comes in to check on her breathing (??? idk if i want her to breathe or not)

the girl gets up slowly face half destroyed, eye poked out and blood gushing from her forehead. her other eye.. is starting to look…strange, veins now popping underneath it. the girl turns around to look at the mc, a smile slowly growing on her face.

mc is getting ready to run, thinking that she turned into those heartless zombies that she was taught her whole life (she never went out, they got food from a secret stash the adults left for themselves before they ☠️.)

the girl grabs her wrist and let’s out a mumbled whine

“no…. you can’t”

the mc stayed quiet. she never heard from the adults that zombies could talk and look so sad like this, so she hugged the girl. mc didn’t care if the girl but her, she’s been wanting to leave this earth anyways. there’s no point in sticking out and surviving. because at the end of the day, what next? do you continue fighting for your miserable life, for the rest of your life? do you stand back and watch your loved ones suffer infront of you? mc couldn’t bare to let her go.

i can’t lose anyone else , she thought . (oooo angst🤭)

but to her surprise, she returned the hug.

you both stood there for a min, basking in each other’s warmth and comfort.

#dreams #zombie #zombie apocolypse au #first post #writing #i love naps #monster #monster au

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audioaujom · 1 year ago

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27: Victim's Memoirs [wrong end 4 ★5]

Corpse Party Hub, < prev, next >

This is wrong end 4 ★5 from Chapter 2! A lot of these bad endings are fucked up and awful but I honestly debated not writing this one because it’s nasty, but… when whump calls lmao

I've also written (or begun writing) nearly every other bad ending for this game and I guess this one felt left out idk

I know compared to a lot of the other graphic shit on this hellsite this is probably nothing, but I’d feel uncomfortable posting this without a bunch of warnings. I don’t really have a taste for such graphic things, but I’m actually kind of pleased with how it came out. I like the ick ig Be safe and enjoy responsibly.

Pairing: Ranboo and Charlie

Word Count: 3190

Chapter TWs: Mind Manipulation ("Darkening"), Graphic Depictions of Violence, Gore, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, Vomiting, Character Death

“Whoa hey, do you see that?” Charlie asked as he stepped out of the classroom, Ranboo poking his head out the door to look over his friend’s shoulder at the floor.

“The notebook paper with blood on it?” Ranboo asked, Charlie turning around to face him with a sinister grin. “Yeah, I see it. Why?”

“C’mon, aren’t you curious?” Charlie all but whined, his eyes darting back and forth between the page and Ranboo’s disapproving glare from the doorway.

“Uhm, not really. What’s it gonna say? ‘Here’s how to get out of this horrible haunted elementary school in three easy steps’?”

“It could!” Ignoring the obvious deadpan, Charlie smiled hopefully up at Ranboo—who just sighed and shook his head.

“No, it really couldn’t.” Ranboo then paused, an unreadable look crossing his face before he continued, “But I’m not going to stop you if you do wanna look.”

“Aha! You are curious!” Charlie poked a finger into the taller boy’s chest, his smile splitting into a wide grin. “It’s just as I suspected!” Triumphant, he turned and swiped the paper up off the ground, eyes scanning the page from behind his glasses before his grip on the page tightened and his face paled. “Oh. Oh god nevermind.”

“What? What’s it say?” Ranboo asked, his own curiosity morbidly piqued by Charlie’s horror, taking the scrap paper from his friend who passed it over wordlessly.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I ate my friend today. What else was I supposed to do? I was starving. We both were. And there's no food here. So we decided, together, that one of us should try to live just a little bit longer. If I ever get home, I'm supposed to tell all the people waiting for us what happened. We left it all up to a game of rock-paper-scissors. Loser eats winner. And I lost. I felt her blood going down my throat, quenching my thirst. And her meat was surprisingly satisfying. But that blood and that meat was once my friend. Up until just a few hours before, I'd been talking with her. As I feasted, I just kept thinking, this food used to be a person. Before I tore it apart, it all worked together to sustain a life. And every time I thought about that, I just started crying… and I couldn't stop. I wanted some part of her to be with me even after she died, so I decided to keep one of her eyeballs. And I thought maybe I should write all of this down, to help preserve some small portion of my sanity. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Oh.” Ranboo gagged in disgust and horror, dropping the page to put one hand over his mouth as the other went to clutch at his stomach. “Well, alright. That’s… wow, okay. Um…”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Charlie tried to joke, but it fell flat as his voice shook nervously. He then put a gentle hand on Ranboo’s shoulder, quietly suggesting, “Let’s just… leave that there.”

“Yeah. Good idea.” Ranboo nodded, staring down at the paper on the floor, his look turning to a slight glare. “Just when I think things can’t get any worse…”

“C’mon, let's keep looking somewhere else.” Charlie offered, lightly pulling Ranboo by the arm away from the classroom and towards the stairs.

The two silently made their way back down to the first floor, wanting to search in a more orderly fashion by working their way up from the bottom. By the time they’d made it downstairs the odd tension in the air had already dissipated, them hunting in a much more comfortable silence until—

“Uhm… Ranboo? Is that…?” Charlie asked tentatively, pointing at another rather innocuous piece of notebook paper lying behind a ruined table near the rows of shoe shelves at the front doors.

“Another bloody piece of notebook paper probably containing horror beyond my worst imagination?” Ranboo responded rhetorically, giving Charlie a look as he blandly stated, “I think so.”

“Would it be wrong of me to say I’m still curious?” Glancing at Ranboo beside him, Charlie quickly backpedaled, “Not in a weird sort of way, I just… if it’s from the same person I want to know what happened to them.”

Ranboo stared at him blankly. “Why are you asking for my permission?”

“It makes me feel better.”

“Wow, no hesitation there.” Ranboo shook his head at his friend’s immediate answer, sighing and gesturing forward at the page. “Sure. Go read it if you really want to.”

“Okay!” Charlie nodded, jogging forward and crouching down before looking up as he realized he wasn't being followed. “Are you not coming too?”

Ranboo stood still for a long moment before he finally gave in and stepped over with a quiet, “...coming.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I hold, in the palm of my hand... a piece of a person's body. A piece of a person who was living and breathing only a short while ago. This body part used to be attached to her head. And now, I'm walking around the school with it. I had no idea eyeballs were so heavy. And I just keep squishing it in the palm of my hand, as if I'm testing its firmness. Squeeze, and release... Squeeze, and release… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Okay.” Charlie announced, dropping the page immediately after finishing it. “Somehow that’s worse than the vivid description of cannibalism.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Ranboo grinned as Charlie turned to look at him, betrayed.

“Hey! That’s my line!” He whined with his own smile, before it slowly faded alongside the playful air as realization started to dawn on his face. “But dude… this place is really fucked up. The bodies we keep coming across are all of kids, which means—”

“Don’t. I’m gonna stop you right there.” Ranboo cut him off, firmly waving both of his hands and shaking his head for emphasis. “I don’t… don’t. Nope. I am not going to think about the implications. You are not going to think about the implications. There are no implications. None.”

Charlie nodded, his widened eyes slowly closing as he let out a breath to calm himself down. “No problem.”

Working their way around the main floor and then to the row of first floor classrooms, the second page—while weird—was long forgotten as the two briefly bickered about how to open the nailed shut door at the back of 2-A until Ranboo remembered the nail puller they’d found earlier. The secret room was strange, with large gaps in the floor and a mechanism at the far corner, the two venturing all the way to the back corner to look over the mechanism to try and figure out what it did.

“...Charlie.” It was Ranboo who broke the silence this time, an arm flying out to the side to stop Charlie in his tracks about halfway into the room. The two boys paused, both noticing the page on the floor.

“Are these notes following us around or something?” Charlie questioned with a frown, pushing Ranboo’s arm away. “Cause we can’t seem to go more than a few feet without finding another one.”

“I don’t like this at all.”

“Yeah, that’s… fair.” Nodding to himself, Charlie paused before shuffling forward a few steps. “...I’ve gotta, right?”

“No, you really don’t.” Ranboo answered, Charlie ignoring him as he bent down to pick up the page with a shit-eating grin. “That sounds like a yes to me!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I've been searching every last corner of this school building, trying to find a way of escaping with her. But it's not happening. No matter how much we struggle, only further misery awaits us. I'm so unbearably thirsty… so hungry that it feels like my stomach is eating itself... And every moment, it gets worse. It's like a big, black mass in front of me that's slowly closing in. I can't keep ignoring it. I've started talking to the eyeball in my hand, to help stay focused and maintain my sanity. Stop looking at me like that! I swear, I'll find us a way out of here! I have to make sure I tell your family what you did for me… — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Hopeless. Lovely.” Ranboo commented from over one of Charlie’s shoulders, watching as his friend curiously started re-reading a section of the note.

“What’s that black mass thing they were talking about?” Charlie asked after he finished looking over the page, setting it back down with a huff. “That sounds a little more imposing than the hunger or thirst.”

“I’m not sure… but whatever it is we should avoid it if we can.” Ranboo sighed, staring down at the note on the floor, lost in thought.

“Oh. I assumed that went without saying.” Charlie agreed, before smirking and commenting, “Y’know, to avoid the big black ball.”

“Dude.”

“Not even a sliver of a smile?” Smirk dropping, Charlie sighed and shook his head. “Throw me a bone here man, I’m trying to cheer you up.”

“...thanks.” Ranboo smiled a little, recognizing Charlie’s effort but still too anxious to actually feel any sense of relief. “But the best way to cheer me up would be to stop reading these creepy notes and find a way out.”

“Aye aye, captain.”

Ignoring Charlie’s mock salute, they continued investigating each floor systematically in an on and off silence until they reached the end of one of the hallways on the third floor, the two noticing another bloodied page near a particularly large gap in the floorboards.

“Okay, I know you said to stop reading them, but it’s right there.”

“I already said I wouldn’t stop you like ten times, Charlie.” Ranboo sighed, watching Charlie run up to the page and instantly scan its contents.

“Epic.” About halfway down the page, Charlie's expression dropped, setting the page down with a wince of nausea. “Oh. Nevermind. I think I’m just gonna… put this back…”“What did it say?” Ranboo asked curiously, wandering over and picking up the page as soon as it hit the floor.

“Oh, you don’t wanna—” Charlie reached out to stop him, but was a moment too late as Ranboo had already begun reading. “Wait!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — I am writing these memoris wit hsticky hansd but its not me that is stiky but somethng else I hope you re not mad about this maybe you will think im a horribl e person but i got hungry again really hungry like i was about to DIE so i I did something I shouldn't have done. I promised myself I would stay sane, and promised myself I wouldn't do what I did, and I am so, so sorry, really, really sorry, really sorry but there is no excuse for what I did. With my bloody hands, I took the thing that I've been squishing, and I put it in my mouth, and I swallowed it. Iateit. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“...yeah.” Ranboo silently let go of the page as Charlie spoke, letting it slowly flutter through the air until it landed at his feet, Charlie grabbing him by the shoulders to maneuver him further down the hall. “Let’s go, Ran.”

“Yeah.” Ranboo nodded absentmindedly, fiddling with his hands before glancing over at Charlie and timidly asking, “We’ll figure this out, right? You and me?”

“You and me.” Charlie affirmed, squeezing his shoulders. “We got this.”

No matter how confident Charlie sounded Ranboo couldn’t shake his lingering anxiety, the longer they searched around the school with no clear goal only serving to make it continually spiral. By the time they’d backtracked to the second floor for a second time, it had gotten so bad he almost didn’t step off the landing and through the doorway to the floor, letting Charlie pull him along as he couldn’t seem to get himself to walk forward. The anxious ice in his veins that had shattered when Charlie urged him forward resurged rapidly after the briefest moment as both of them noticed the paper lying beside the large gap in the floor at the same time.

“...is that—?” Charlie asked, cutting himself off as the two stared at the page on the floor.

Ranboo nodded, dread coiling in his stomach as he couldn’t will himself to move any closer to it. “I think it is.”

“It’s fine.” Charlie said randomly, pulling Ranboo into a nearby classroom with a soft smile. “I’m not curious.”

“What? Really?” Ranboo asked, disbelieving, some of the dread giving way to relief as Charlie sounded genuine and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, really. We have other priorities right now.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” With a short nod from Ranboo, the two went back to investigating the small room. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

The classroom held nothing useful, Ranboo giving up after a few minutes and slamming shut the teacher’s desk drawer he’d pulled open in a vain hope of finding anything they could possibly use. He turned to comment about the empty nature of the classroom to Charlie, only to realize his friend was no longer beside him. Confused, he poked his head out of the doorway to see where he could’ve gone in the minute he was distracted with rifling through the desk.

“Charlie? Where’d you— NO!” The yell of surprise ripped out of Ranboo before he knew what he was saying, staring at where Charlie was crouched on the floor by the staircase with the previously seen note clutched in both of his hands. “Charlie, what are you doing?!”

“Sorry, Ran. I’m too curious.” Charlie apologized, flashing him a quick smile. “Besides, this is probably the last one, anyway. No harm, no foul.”

Reaching out, Ranboo threw himself forward to try and take the page from Charlie—who easily ducked out of the way. “No, don’t—!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — if you are reading this allow me to forewarn you there is no hope of rescue there is nothing to be gained endless wandering and endless torture is the nature of this place i succumbed to my hunger and thirst began nibbling on that corpse again there is no flavor, no sensation just meat and fluid to sate my empty belly i promised i would not desecrate your body any more but i broke that promise please forgive me — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Charlie had barely read the last few words on the page when his vision completely blacked out.

Everything felt wrong.

The last thing Charlie remembered was reading another one of the bloody notes—please forgive me—and then blacking out on the floor. His head hurt and his mouth tasted metallic, a hand coming up to messily wipe some blood leaking out of his mouth as he tried to sit up and figure out what was going on around him.

“Shit, my head—!” Charlie glanced around with half-opened eyes, shaking his head and looking around frantically for his friend only to realize he was alone in the hallway. “What… oh god, Ranboo? Ranboo?!”

Forcing his nauseous body to his knees, he felt his stomach roil and force a line of bile up his throat from the movement, trying hard to swallow it back only for the metallic taste in his mouth to grow stronger.

“What the fuck is—?” He asked, cutting himself off to spit out a thick wad of blood that was building up in his mouth, the contents landing in an oddly gloopy pile on the wood between his knees. He spat again, the blood a little thinner but still strange as he recoiled from it and toppled over backwards. “Shit, what the fuck…?”

Finally looking up and getting his vision to focus, Charlie wished he could fall back unconscious as he realized he wasn’t technically alone—but the only company he now had was his friend’s unmoving body.

An extreme amount of blood had soaked into the wood flooring beneath Ranboo’s still form, his throat torn open and windpipe crushed, his neck missing a large chunk of jagged flesh from the middle that had already stopped oozing. His mouth and eyes were wide open, the once lively gray now faded, glassy, and frozen in a kind of terror that made Charlie sick to his stomach all over again. The muscles on his upper arms had been torn clean off, white bone sticky with what was left of the crimson tendons and blood missing from his limp arms—one of his elbows bent all the way up the wrong way. His legs weren’t nearly as torn as his arms, but they were ripped by what looked like teeth marks from the knees all the way down to his shoes, pants shredded by the unnatural strength of whatever had attacked and left his mangled body in the middle of the hallway.

“What did… what?” Charlie scrambled back up to his hands and knees to crawl up to Ranboo’s body, afraid to touch him as he realized his hands were already slick with the same blood that formed dried drips on the front of his shirt—and was very likely Ranboo’s. “Oh god, no… no no no, this some twisted fucking joke, there’s no way I would’ve… oh fuck…” Metallic twinged bile threatened to rise up his throat again, Charlie only managing to turn his head at the last minute before the vomit could soil Ranboo’s already desecrated corpse. “Blood… everywhere and… no… no, please…”

Sitting innocently next to the body was a scrap of paper that managed to avoid the worst of the spilled bodily fluids, Charlie reaching for it with shaking hands as he recognized Ranboo’s scrawled handwriting.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — It’s okay, Charlie. I know this wasn’t you. Only the school and that black mist are to blame. If you ever come back to your senses and read this… I’m sorry I couldn’t stop you. I hope you make it out. - Ran — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The rest of the note trailed off into a thick coating of blood, Charlie’s eyes going unfocused with hot tears that gathered in the corners and threatened to stream down his already messy face. “There’s no way I… I did this…?” Charlie asked aloud, his strangely half-full stomach feeling infinitely heavier as he frantically tried to spit or even throw up more of the flesh and blood coating the inside of his throat. “I… oh god…”

Another retch had vomit with chunks of barely digested muscle landing in front of Charlie, his eyes blurry with now freely flowing tears and an odd faded black tint around the edges that creeped in with a cool chill. One hand went up to claw at his throat as the other braced him against the floor, overwhelmed with a self-loathing so strong it was only rivaled by the innate disgust that stung in his mouth like his stomach acid, him clinging desperately onto the awful feelings as they started to slowly slip away from his conscious grasp into the dark void that gave him a sense of deja-vu to when he’d finished reading the last of the bloody notes.

Charlie was tired and anguished and suddenly overwhelmingly… hungry. He just couldn’t fight it anymore. The hunger ate away at his feelings greedily, him collapsing to the floor as the dark haze re-took over his vision—leaving him in an empty heap of despair lying on the bloodsoaked wood next to Ranboo’s unmoving body.

#corpse party au #corpse party #fanfiction #fanfic #cross posted on ao3 #writing #whump #ranboolive #ranboo #ranboo fanfic #angst #charlie slimecicle fanfic #charlie slimecicle #generation loss

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vampiric-bah · 2 months ago

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hello there friend. here is the bits malicitor or some other persecutor role mushroom/parasite themed(?) transhateful + transsmoker go nuts with the bits idk how to request 'properly' lmao

Slight gore warning. - Doctor

A little info about it ; It is a parasite that will enter your blood stream and slowly take over you body, infecting you, It will start to decay your body and make your body weaker. at the verge of death it will completely take over your body and use you as its host.

Name(s): Erith, Eryth, Erebus, Sephtis

Age: 22 - 300

Gender: Genderfluid

Sexuality: Pan oriented Aroace

Prns: He/They/It/She

Role: Malicitor

Transids: Transhateful, Transsmoker, Transharmful, Transabusive, transkiller, transpoisonousblood, transstalker, Transcannibal, Transobsessive, Transarsonist, Transcontrolling, Transworshipped, Transchurchshooter.

Paras: Teratophilia, Necrophilia, Biastophilia, Somnophilia, Emapihtophilia, Mycophilia, Pyrophilia

Likes: Blood, Gore, Red, Smoking, Alcohol, Adrenaline, Fire

#build a headmate #build an alter #headmate creation #headmate pack #pro endo #pro para #pro radqueer #pro rq 🌈🍓#rq 🌈🍓#rq please interact #rqc🌈🍓#rq safe #rq community #pro paraphile #pro transid

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v2xe · 11 months ago

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i got too carried away and ended up hitting the tag limit 🫠 hope it's alright if i just put this here instead

#SDJFGSDFNM asgsdfasd AGSDF GURGLES LIKE IM CHOKING ON MOUTHWASH FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD#I CANT BELOIEVE IM ONLY SEEING THIS FIVE DAYS AFTER IT WAS POSTED good lird#see i understand why there would be a split in the fandom abt this bc there is also a split in tumblr user v2xe#when i first played my reading was that sarah and jack's relationship was INTENDED to be portrayed as romantic#only the writers kind of expected them sharing some friendly lines + jack being the protag and sarah#being the princess would be enough for the audience to go “ah yes. romance”#and that the tragic and borderline romantic subtext jack has w astos was just incidental in the way it happens when writers#accidentally end up developing male characters and their relationships more than female ones#esp since se's games' track record w this is…….not great#(<-she is haunted by secondhand accounts from the tranches of ff16's writing)#and tbh i was ready to just assume this was my own little interpretation where it isn't that deep but it could be. and i could just build#myself a fun little sandbox in the hole i dug where the story could have expanded certain themes further but didn't#but after reading that one interview where the writers were like "maybe sarah was in love with him maybe she was just infatuated with what

#he represented" i turned into one of those shitty gore stick figures because what the fuck!! the writing agrees??#which meshes perfectly w her being sheltered which!! while i thought abt it i never really went into it like this and it makes!! sense!!#& a the same time yeah!! sarah IS a symbol. which having played ff1 i think was a cool way to go about expanding her role from that gam#oh so she's a symbol? she's a reward? the motivator that pulls you along to start your journey? ok fine then. i'll give you a Symbol#and if you asked me i think jack genuinely cared/s(?) about her (just not in a romantic sense)#and unlike other things i say here i can say w 100% confidence that the writers wanted us to notice he cares#like it always fascinated me how in the jp version jack's speech patterns change DRASTICALLY whenever he's speaking to sarah#idk much japanese but the formal/respectful way he spoke stood out massively compared to his usual form of speech#i get that this could be harder to portray in english without seeming unnatural but i'm sad they didn't include this tbh#bc we don't see him talk to ANYONE like this in the game i believe- not the king or queen not astos not anyone#they WANTED you to notice. they put a big neon sign pointing at jack and sarah there's SOMETHING important here#(tangent for some reason the spanish version got this backwards and it's ash and jed who address sarah formally while jack speaks in the same blunt manner...but that#version was so rushed it still has placeholder text in the script so i woulnt put too much faith in it having like…authorial intent lmao)

#& in general there are some very slight differences between the eng and jp ver that imo carry v different implications?#like how in eng jack just kinda sounds annoyed at sarah's request and his “of course” comes across as exasperated and sarcastic rather than#genuinely polite- which makes the scene of him tapping his foot seem like an intentional gesture of “stfu already” rather than “desperately#trying to contain the wave pure compulsive rage that drives me for 2 minutes so i can be polite to this girl" yknow? #anyway what i mean is that its interesting how his affection for sarah was also "weaponized" for the plan like the one he has for his friends #and yet sarah's role is more as a symbol than an emotional catalyst? to me at least-& i keep wondering WHY it's diff for her in particular #&it's not bc she was WRITTEN poorly i feel-if the writers did fall for that kind of trap we wouldn't have sophia or neon imo #it almost feels like theres all these conspicuous arrow signs pointing at something but i cant fucking see what it is??

#but after reading this i can see how that was kinda the point i think #at the end of the day this is jack's story. and us experiencing everything from his pov at all times is a big part of why the story works so well #it makes sense he wouldn't care for anyone's emotions or inner thoughts until it's too late- therefore the game doesn't show them #& sadly that includes sarah and what's going through her head #bc i kind of wish we couldve seen more of it- what was she thinking as she died? what did she feel? was it clean and straightfoward? #hope? despair? sadness? nothing at all? too many things at once? did she feel betrayed as she remembered? did she feel resentment for the #one man who could change her world by watching her die? how was she any different from the organic reconoissance unit Iving dead in a floati #-ng island somewhere surrounded by dead bats and FUCK I haven't even talked about astos yet #it's a tragedy that despite them having canonically interacted multiple times we never get to hear any of it :(( #tho i have to put a big * on all this because i know that this could very much be me critiquing the game on what i WISH it did #rather than on how it archieved what it was actually trying to do #imo sarah has the markings of god's little lamb(symbol of hope) most likely to be slaughtered #dare i say final fantasy's very own anthy himemiya #there's something about a character whose purpose is to essentially be a symbol #and who is also a sheltered young woman whose hopefulness is not a flaw but who is perhaps too idealistic for her own good that really intrigues me!! #and from that view i like how you can see her unwavering idealism as sheltered naivety or as something good and celebrated(? in the narrative #anyway sarah both as a character and how she fits into jack's story leave so so much room for fun stuff and i really appreciate that #in a better world i think they would have a lovely friendship

#ok running out of power now so ill stop and hope this doesnt read like gibberish or realize i missed sth if i reread it in the morning #i am so so sorry for the wall of tags none of this has much of a throughline this is just thought vomit bc this post made me Think #by which i mean this post is rearranging my brain and activating neural pathways i didn't even know i had rn #& in all seriousness im so so so glad i saw this!! even if i wish i had done it sooner!! its great to read someone's thoughts like this <33

"You Never Forget Your First Love."

The other day, a mutual (hi! you know who you are I think probably hello hi! thank you for the Posting Impetus!) said something that made me curious (for, like, the 80th time, actually; lol. I Have Thoughts) about something: what's the split on people who subscribe to the "Stranger of Paradise probably intended for us to believe that Jack & Sarah were in love" mindset, vs. not? In general, but ESPECIALLY around these parts.

I genuinely didn't read it that way myself (& I do NOT normally give media (general) this much credit, but the writing in this game is sublime; I had no choice but to fully engage Scholar Mode on it), + I think it's interesting that SPECIFICALLY any of my fellow tumblr people / AO3-heads / Gay People Online / etc. seem to have. (I expect nothing from people who haven't been basting themselves in the same online sub-subcultures as me for over a decade. They're allowed to write wrong things on wikis, and have done so already; it's whatever.)

I wanna metapost badly again, so let's go. Join me. No poll. If you have an opinion on this, I'm looking directly into your eyes and beckoning you towards your own keyboard + also the reblog button / comment section, like a weird ghost. What did you think when you first played the game?? What do you think right now? What are you about to think after you have read a bunch of my words. Tell Me. I Need To Know This.

Spoilers for, idk, everything? Today we will use everything we've got to talk about Princess Sarah.

1. As a Narrative Element

This game makes a point of referring to Sarah as things like "a symbol of hope and peace" as often as possible, & when it isn't doing that she's usually in the role of An Object Or Device Of Some Kind, anyway. She's important because she's capable of holding light and dark in balance & SOMEONE'S gotta hold onto this dark crystal for safekeeping, and also we're gonna need to upset that balance on purpose later. There's that conversation in the Wicked Arbor about whether the Strangers would "choose" her (as opposed to "treasure") as the "reward" for succeeding in their mission[1], & there's the one in the Sunken Shrine where Jed asks Jack what he thinks of her and Jack says that he doesn't care about her as a person[2] BUT that protecting her is mission-critical (lol), too.

Sarah's death is metaphorically charged. It's the point of no return: the dark crystal breaks, the balance of light & dark gets extremely ruined, & Literally All The Darkness In Cornelia converges in one place (Fool's Missive XXVII). That's the payoff for the "symbol of hope and peace" motif, and communicating this idea that "the metaphorical light of hope just For Real Died, Like Catastrophically Imploded, No Take-Backs" feels to me like it was the highest priority here. Second-highest goes to "Jack had way more humanity before, but he set it aside on purpose and is actively in the middle of losing the rest of it." "Sort of." "I'm not getting into what counts as humanity or doesn't because if I did we would be here forever."

Basically, I'm saying that the tidiest read on the situation is "Jack despairs because Sarah dying means in a very literary and final way that everything is ruined forever, which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with, like, Love (romantic)." I don't think the text of the game is particularly signaling that Love (romantic) is involved, and I think that if it meant to, it would be more obvious about it. You could bundle "an romance" into the "humanity" thing if you wanted to, but I'm not inclined to, based on some additional list items that you can read below this one.

[1] The fact that Neon ALSO says she feels bad for her for being thought of in this way only reinforces my conviction that the game is pointing at Sarah & yelling "REMEMBER THAT SHE IS MOSTLY A SYMBOL!", tbh. Who wants to go point out how freaky the mechanics of Being An Royalty are w/ me and the boys??

[2] I will give the Wiki WrongPosters this: I can totally see this as some kind of irony thing, given that he's still missing like a fucktillion of his memories when he says it. However! As mentioned above, I have other reasons not to read it as evidence that he was ever, like, romantically interested in her.

2. As a Sheltered Youth™

We don't have a TON of information to work with RE: Sarah as, like, a person, but here are a couple of hard facts to start with: she's 19 (per the data book, but she'd have to be somewhere in the 18-to-early-20's age range regardless or her whole deal wouldn't really make much sense, imo. She's a baby...!), and she's royalty. I think this ties into her utility as a walking metaphor, among other things; she's archetypically young, fresh, & idealistic. I'd call her naïve but the game obviously isn't interested in portraying it as a weakness, so positive words only; why not.

You could argue that people look to her as a symbol of hope because she hasn't directly experienced enough strife to exhibit hopelessness or fear in response to bad news in the abstract. I find it interesting that before Jack, like, knocks the wind out of her & tells Sophia to take her outside so she can see for herself how bad things have gotten at the end of the game, she says that her duty is to die with her people if she has to, & it doesn't even seem to occur to her that she could lead at least some of them away to safety...? When she changes her mind, she still talks about herself as a symbol before she ever uses the word "leader". She sees HERSELF in terms of symbols and metaphors, and takes action based on her designated role As One Of Those. Not very practical.

There's also the dialogue you can have with the queen the first time you're allowed to run around in the throne room at the beginning of the game, where she asks Jack to smile in front of her daughters (NOT just Mia; daughters, plural). Even if she only means "dude can you be polite please," the fact that this is The thing she has to say to Jack is telling. Is it going to upset your 19-year-old daughter to see that the Guy Whose Job It Is To Kill Monsters looks serious? Why do you think this? Does your 19-year-old daughter understand how serious the situation is, generally speaking? Do you not WANT her to for some reason? Boats don't work anymore unless a weird elf messes with them first. Not thinking very hard about the implications of this is something a sheltered person does.

Residual time loop un-memories aside, a young woman in this situation is so obviously going to have a huge crush on Jack Garland no matter what. He Is So Cool, first of all, & he's also Different from the adult men she gets to see on an everyday basis (family, guards, rando townspeople[3]...). It's not like the political social scene could POSSIBLY be thriving in this world, either; it all seems to be one kingdom we're dealing with and they're kind of busy with the external threat of being Under Fucking Attack By Monsters. Does she even get fun treats like "handsome visiting dignitaries" & what-have-you? The game doesn't present us with any potential options, here. Jack is mysterious, he has special-boy Warrior of Light status, his one job & apparent life's purpose is protecting the kingdom she loves, he's pretty nice to her (even in later cycles he at least goes out of his way to be polite!), & additionally, he's shredded. THIS makes sense to me.

There's a Q&A in the data book that has something to say about JACK as a symbol & what that has to do with this whole thing but we'll get there. We'll get there.

[3] Tangent: what's up with how Cornelia's entire adult male population appears to consist of aging queens. Why did they only make models that look Like That for the NPCs? It's awesome but I have 1 quastion

3. JACK JUMPSCARE !

I'm not about to say that he's just humoring her, or anything, but please humor ME for one second & put yourself in Jack's shoes. Not the default shoes; we can have more fun than that. Maybe the Banded Boots. Blurple ones? Shaped like a cartoon would wear them? Big spikes on the back for no reason? I love those things. Anyway, you're Jack. You're working for literally the king, & the work means Everything to you for reasons you can't even necessarily explain except to say that it JUST does. The king's eldest daughter (very young adult; Never Been Outdoors; a little overly-sociable but nice enough & what do you expect from a princess, anyway) has imprinted on you like a duckling for whatever reason. You would be nice to this person, yes? You'd be patient with her while you're in town. You have Brutal Murders to be doing, but not until, like, 2 days from now, or whatever; you're sharing space with her in some capacity in the meantime & it's in your best interests to keep her happy. (You probably even enjoy doing this, if you're Jack of a Way Earlier Cycle; I'm in no way ruling that out. Sharing your music collection with an enthusiastic Baby Adult? That's fun. I think he was probably having fun. Okay, you can step out of the fun purple shoes if you want; the Humoring Me Minute has concluded; thanks.)

Also, @2000sanimeop and I think that if Jack felt that way about her Astos would have been a little More Something about how much it was gonna suck for him when she died. In Fool's Missive XXVII he uses the word "painful," but that's about it. He doesn't even bring it up in XXV, which is the one where he says he's curious about whether she'd survive being turned into a fiend (side note: Astos fucking rocks. Why did he write that down?? I love him). & Hey SPEAKING OF ASTOS,

4. I wouldn't put Jackstos on a wiki, either.

The writing in Stranger of Paradise, SERIOUSLY, WITHOUT EXAGGERATION, is some of the best I've seen in literally anything ever. It suits not just its medium but also its sort of Place in History Relative to Other Video Games & the things it chose to DO with that medium & that niche INSANELY well. It is CUSTOMIZED. It's SO INTENTIONAL. I can't get too far into this or we'll be here all day, but the essence of what I want to say here is: there are relatively few facts presented to us by this game, compared to the implications we can go about drawing from those facts & other, external sources of context.

Sarah calls Jack her first love; that's a fact. No facts are presented to us that REALLY say much one way or the other[4] about what Jack thinks of this, himself; "fucktillion memories missing" Jack says he doesn't care, but he's missing a fucktillion of his memories, and DLC2 Jack has a set of dialogue options (hi Anne the Malboro I love you Anne the Malboro) that can point either way depending on what the player chooses, which is kind of nothing, on balance. As the audience, we can (should!) draw whatever conclusion we want about it, but none of those conclusions are text.

[4] I WILL GET TO THE DATA BOOK IN ONE SECOND. HOLD ON.

And, okay, please let me level with you. Let's be on the same page. Jack & Astos had some kind of thing going on, imo, OBVIOUSLY, but I want to be CLEAR and I want to get CREDIT for the things I'M bringing to the table to help generate this conviction. I drew that conclusion & I read that reading based on subtext, context, personal history, personal preference, & sheer gay zest for life. It is also, emphatically, NOT TEXT.

Astos refers to Jack with the ol' "...friend" in Fool's Missive XXI. He calls him "my Jack" in Fool's Missive XXXI. Canonically, textually, he has some big fucking COMPLICATED fucking feelings about this man. These are facts. If you're playing this game as Some Guy, I can see how you could potentially absorb these facts & still pay them much less regard[5] than I did & continue to. My argument here is that god I wish I lived in a world where Some Guy could extend the same courtesy to me and not treat Sarah's textual affection for Jack as something that necessarily indicates Some Kind Of Reciprocal Romantic Whatever, Definitely, Obviously, Of Course.

[5] Longer Tangent: I have been informed that the Some Guys of the world are currently pretty good at Recognizing a character that behaves in a way that's Pretty Gay, but tend to stop there, possibly for the combined reasons that A. they're not very familiar with a lot of the the ways gay relationships often work (you know, soul resonance. mutual recognition. sharing a brain etc.) and B. the Object Of Affection is usually the player character and they subconsciously shy away from thinking of a Guy They're Supposed To Identify With as gay. This is practically a lead-in to an entire separate post I could make, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

The writing is too good for that kind of assumption! I'M SERIOUS!! It's mind-blowingly subtle & endlessly fascinating to hold up to the light & view from every possible angle, and "Jack & Sarah were in love" + "Jack & Astos were in love" are BOTH ANGLES. I'm personally very very interested in giving the text credit for that. I think it's impressive. I think it's really, really cool, and I think it was on purpose. Speaking of which,

5. Word of God agrees with me, btw

This is from the Q&A section on page 156 of the Confidential File. The translations below are my own (I think they're straightforward enough, but lmk if you know more than me & I'm actually being stupid in there somewhere. Alt text has the JPN, if you want to copypaste it or something). Someone asked:

Why is it that you established Garland as someone Sarah has a romantic interest in?

The answer is from Daisuke Inoue (director, one of 3; the other 2 are from Team Ninja; he's from Square Enix):

That was because, from a narrative standpoint, we wanted Sarah to be the kind of person who holds onto hope. You can imagine that she saw the "hope" to save the world in Jack, a potential Warrior of Light. Sarah is seen by her people as a symbol of a bright future, but if there were nobody to give her hope, that might destabilize her emotionally. As for whether she felt genuine love for Jack, or just mistook her feelings of admiration towards him for "first love," we'll leave that to your interpretation.

The first time I read this, I thought the question was implying the aforementioned Reciprocal Something, but on closer inspection that doesn't even seem to be true! "思い人" seems to indicate a directional relationship; as in, the question assumes that Jack is an object of affection to Sarah, but assumes nothing about what Jack thinks.

Also, the answer uses the word "初恋" (hatsukoi), which is a very established Concept as far as "first love" goes, but in that one cutscene, Sarah says "初めての恋" (hajimete no koi), which is. Different, but I couldn't tell you how, lol. It's Not The Exact Same Phrase, but I'm not sure whether it's meaningfully different in this context. If I had to guess, I'd say that IF ANYTHING it could be a way of saying "first love" without invoking the cultural CONSTRUCT of First Love (as much)? But it's whatever. The localization holds up. All sources show that Sarah had Feelings about Jack, and all sources CONSPICUOUSLY neglect to mention Jack's feelings about her.

It was on purpose. This is my license to be as annoying as I want for one second here. I am right. All the other writing in this game is notably subtle, efficient, intentional, and skilled, AND ALSO, WHEN do you ever see anyone write such a richly beautiful, mostly-subtextual relationship between two men, which can easily be read as a romantic thing, and NOT explicitly canonize a very possible romantic relationship between at least one of those men and a woman, like not even in an interview or anything. What the fuck, man.

I'm putting away the Respectable Scholar Hat now. This is so funny. The person asking this question didn't EVEN go as far as assuming Jack & Sarah had any kind of Actual Romance going on, & the answer STILL dials it back to "she might have been conflating her feelings about Jack AS A SYMBOL with actual affection, also. We'll let you decide : ) ". This game is everything ever.

#sop #veeposting

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