#sleep is also extremely unsatisfying

[autisticlee]

everyone likes to tell me "exercise and you'll get more energy!" but I exercised for maybe half an hour 2 days ago and haven't been able to get out of bed or do anything since then. i'm so tired and everything hurts. why didn't it work?!

[arijackz]

PICK A CARD: Your FS' Secret Kinks

❦ “She lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theatre curtain. I was to get to know that trick. That was supposed to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air." - Raymon Chandler, The Big Sleep

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, change any pronouns to apply to you.

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✦ Pile One ✦

Poor lil pooh pooh. This person struggles to “fill their cups up” so they get off on denying themselves pleasure. They secretly like the feeling of hitting whatever rock bottom looks like to them. Honestly, they want to be saved. They are wallowing at the bottom of a well, waiting for their savior to swoop in and throw them a rope. 

In a more literal sense, they want a person to be their reason to live. Their reason to feel daylight on their skin again. Everyone and everything around them is unsatisfying and “fake”. They want something real to coax them out of their hell and entice them with all the thrilling things life has to offer. 

However, they also like this dark and brooding side of themselves. They have a bit of a corruption kink.

They fantasize about a virginal angel coming down to save them, but they end up convincing the angel to sink down to their level. 

They like exciting, spontaneous people who are willing to jump up and run out the door to do something fun at any moment, but think innocent fun. Like going to the movies to theater hop, and getting away without paying. Or, running around the Target parking lot in shopping carts and trying not to bang into cars. Maybe even steal a few street signs. 

Innocent childhood fun that you’d see in early 90s movies. But add a sadistic twist to it that only they are aware of. 

You would be the innocent virgin (doesn’t have to be true, it's their fantasy) who is unknowingly leading this beast (also not true, they are just extremely self-deprecating) to your pretty little happy places which they plan to desecrate.

They want to fuck you in your family home and make a mess of your childhood bed, making you scream so loud that you’re family starts to look at you differently. They want to take you to your favorite movie spots where you usually chill and hangout with your friends and turn it into a place where all you can think about is them covering your mouth in the back of the theater while you’re squirming in their lap, trying to escape out of their grip as they edge you to the new Marvel release. 

They have a kink for turning all of your innocent, fun moments into their very own filthy fantasies.

Ps. Fisting came out of the blue so lube up!

Come To Me, My Senseless Angel

✦ Pile Two ✦

I don’t believe this is a future spouse, to be honest. This might be a situationship you need to move past. They seem emotionally immature, or at least this is a side of them that exclusively comes out when they’re aroused. 

They can be quite abrasive and feel like they are constantly under attack so they’re incredibly defensive. They have a history of lashing out at their loved ones when they feel overwhelmed and get so blinded by their emotions that they disregard their affection for their partners and say really unforgettable, harmful words which permanently alters the connection for the worse. 

They carry guilt from these actions and are in a constant state of regret. In this state, their sense of pleasure is a little twisted. They get turned on by causing a genuine issue in the relationship. They like the idea of pushing you to your limit where you’re this 🤏  close to your breaking point and at your absolute lowest. It’s when you reach your rock bottom and realize the need to move away from this person and you scream out, “I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.”

They like to grovel. You know that cycle where somebody fucks up and then they’re in the dog house buying flowers and being extra fluffy just to get in the victim’s good graces so they can do the same thing over again. So far, pile one and two’s respective partners like to feel like shit. They secretly like the moment where they completely fuck up a relationship and have to beg on their hands and knees to get their person back orrrrrr they get off on emotionally tearing someone down to the point where they get on their knees to bed for this person’s attention. 

Either way, there's a lot of fucked psychological issues underneath this fantasy that I’m not unpacking here because it differs from person to person. 

In its best light, this person glorifies struggle love. At its worst, this person is purposefully emotionally abusive with the intent to tear their partner down for their own sexual gratification. 

They’re conscious enough to know their actions are toxic but don’t have the emotional maturity to work past their actions. They’re at the phase where they’re just aware and are like “I know I’m shitty but that’s just who I am. If they stick with me and the sex is good, it’s meant to be.”

I’m honestly getting twitter relationship hypotheticals with this one. Iykyk.

They’re also an edgelord. Less in an internet cockroach way and more in a witty- can be funny if done well- way, but they get pleasure from shocking people nonetheless. This energy can be directed toward you to piss you off and annoy you with the intent of getting in your pants later. 

I’ve been guided to switch the conversation briefly: If this resonates and is someone you are dealing with. It is time to move on. This person gets gratification from hurting you and will not get past that high of tearing down a relationship and then having a messy recovery. They have their own issues to work through and cannot see how they are hurting you. There is no future with this person, they came into your life to teach you a lesson about your self-value. That cycle has run its course and it's time to move on.  

To be honest, I’m not a fan of this person and don’t even want to list the explicit kinks that came out but I will just in case this message is for you but you’re not sure.

Random messages: Hot tub/pool sex, hair pulling, break down crying, interracial, milk, broken condom, “i fucking hate you”, “whore”, mirror, drunk sex, complaining, smack a bitch, twitter

P.S. You’re too sexy for the bullshit! There is bigger and greater out there, you just need to believe that for yourself!

This person will not get a mood board out of me.

✦ Pile Three ✦

Okay, so this person has some deep religious guilt. This is a male presenting person. I am being clear with their sex because it plays a role in this reading. They have some majorly repressed feminine energy. They may even be attracted to the same sex. 

This is a fs reading, so they are likely bi, pansexual, or trans. Either way, their family is close-minded and is not supportive of them. They were forced to leave home so they could finally live their truth. They have lived their entire life fitting somebody else’s narrative. They were the hypermasculine bro type to “cover up” their femininity. 

So, they have a kink for hyperfeminity. It’s almost to the point where they obsess over the caricature of girlhood. I see lots of pink, high heels, full-glam, all-day mall shopping, pinup curls, flashy jewelry, sleepovers, day spas, that scene in Scott Pilgrim where that girl is like “SHE’S PROBABLY LIKE 25!”, and everything else that gets associated with “girlhood” nowadays. 

They fantasize about you in your receptive energy, being waited on and cared for hand and foot. They like to observe the way you move. Everything about you and your feminine aura is incredibly alluring to them. The way with each breath your breasts fall, your hips swaying with each step, the cute way you match your accessories with your outfits. They notice everything about you. 

You know those paintings of wealthy women lying on their sides and being fed grapes? That. They’re not in the serving role, they're the painter. Their kink is capturing you in those everyday moments where the world seems to be waiting on you like you’re the collective’s queen.

They see femininity in a higher light than the general population. They see women as automatically deserving of this type of care, they also want this care. 

They have a secret hard-on for pregnant women and women with swollen breasts. They have a lactation kink. They fantasize about cumming in you over and over again. They see you as a Goddess, so they want to see you masturbate at church on an altar, like you're waiting to be worshipped. 

A lot of their fantasies, they’re not even included in. It’s just you looking God-like and being worshipped by the world around you. This person may hate when you wear clothes. They act like the fabric is committing a sin by covering your body. They just want to capture your essence. Like an admirer and a student.

P.S. Dick game goes CRAZY. They watch a lot of women-focused porn to study what gets a woman off. Like Maddie in Euphoria, he is there to study.

Pretty In Pink

✦ Pile Four ✦

WE GOT A PLEASURE DOM IN THE BUILDING Y’ALL STAY CALM. As my mama would say, they love your dirty drawls!

You could do no wrong in this person’s eyes. They’re the golden retriever type. Head empty, leading with heart and IN LOVE>>>>>

You are the pot of gold and the end of the rainbow they’re chasing. They appreciate a good fling but they’ve never felt this before. The emotions you stir in them are unprecedented, this is puppy, sandbox love that most people lose touch with after life jades them.

This is raw love at its most unprocessed. I taste honey. 

They have a kink for the power you have over them. It’s like you have a carrot on a stick and they’re the pig being led to a love den they can’t escape. And they’ll happily be the squealing pig in every lifetime they get with you. This is a soul yearning. 

You will know this person because they will proactively pursue you and they will have no doubts in their mind about it. They are really attracted to your physical form, your curves. Even if you’re on the slimmer side, they like your structure and the dips in your spine. They’ll stare at you when you’re talking and zone out, thinking about how attractive they find you. 

They’re not used to having to try to get someone to sleep with them. They have to put effort towards you and they like that. This person is downright thirsty and craves intimacy with you.

Their fantasies aren’t even dirty, they’re passionate. They want to put you in a mating press, with your knees pressed all the way up beside your ears. They want to penetrate (could be with a toy) deeply and touch that gooey part of you that makes you see stars. 

They want to see an imprint of them in your lower belly. Any position where you’re in their arms is a go for them because they like having you. They want every moment to be just you and them away from the world. So very sweet and intimate. They also love marking you, expect lots of hickeys.

Ignore them from time to time too (healthily, these conditions should be discussed beforehand)! They see you as the ultimate prize, so if you delay their satisfaction, they’ll feel like they’re chasing again, which gets them off. They like to feel like they’re convincing you to sleep with them. You both are consenting, but they like the idea of you having better things to do and they’re trying to convince you to stay and party with them. 

They are very action-oriented and love movement. Anything that involves an adventure together, they are down for. 

PS. Surprise them with a bubble bath together, they’ll love that. And tease them while pulling their hair a bit!

Ode To My Darling Sun

[qpjianghu]

**UNDER THE SKIN 2 FINALE SPOILERS**

man... I have thoughts (and, certainly, feelings)

* *

* *

SERIOUSLY DON'T LOOK UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED

* * * * * SORRY I HAVE VACATION AND NOTHING ELSE TO DO WITH MY TIME

*

Okay!

To start at the very final scene, I can't believe the season actually ended on the cliffhanger of Du Cheng getting stabbed. I had seen that spoiler ahead of time, though I honestly wasn't even mad because it made the anticipation greater for me -- *extreme Gordon Ramsay voice* "finally, some good fucking whump." And when the credits started to roll on the finale, I was a bit disappointed, but figured the Du Cheng stabbing was just an elaborate deepfake. Because there's no way they would shoehorn that into the last 30 seconds of the season, with no confirmed season 3 at the ready... right?

Ugh. Minutes after finishing the finale, I honestly can't yet tell if I'm mad because I'm excited for more or just mad mad. Either way, it's definitely unsatisfying. Leaving viewers unsatisfied is certainly one way to ensure they all come back for another season, but that approach necessitates there actually BEING another season (prayer circle ACTIVATED), and it is still, IMO, a kinda cheap storytelling technique. ESPECIALLY when another season is far from certain (RIP to all my cliffhanger-ending shows that never continued... Prodigal Son, Flashforward, I will never sleep well at night again because of you...)

But okay, fine, cliffhanger mileage aside: The finale left me a bit cold in the same way that the season 1 finale did. In season 1, there was all this tender and intricate build-up to the resolution of Shen Yi and Du Cheng's longstanding trauma-feud and then one day Du Cheng just... forgives him? And then Shen Yi gives up his artistic destiny and becomes a police officer?? (That image of the two of them standing side by side in their uniforms always rubbed me the wrong way, and I think @lunarriviera put it best by saying it's giving extreme "take your kid to work day vibes," which is SO TRUE lol.)

Also: We never even find out who M was (do we? Did I just totally miss this?) -- which is a pretty bold narrative pivot if you underline and highlight the point you're trying to make (ie: life is messy, you can't solve every mystery, you have to learn to live in the liminal spaces of forgiveness and faith and lack of certainty, etc.). The fact that I'm not even sure if the main mystery / tension was resolved at the end of the season shows that, well, it could have been made clearer either way.

When I started season 2, I was ready to brush all of my previous reservations under the rug, because I'll tolerate almost anything just to watch two gay men solving crimes it seemed like the show was actually addressing my aforementioned quibbles. And not just addressing them: using them as narrative fuel for deep and complex character develoment, and to propel philosophical and emotional tension between our two leads. Season 2 wrestles with ideas about existential responsibility: is Shen Yi misusing his god-given gifts by working for the police? Does a person have a utilitarian responsibility to live their life a certain way? What does real criminal justice look like? And is murder actually okay if you're a lonely opera-loving middle-aged sweetie pie with doe eyes?? (I love you, Ge Yutian)

I mean, shit, this season did such a good job of convincing us that all humans deserve empathy and catharsis, and that maybe Shen Yi is onto something with his criminal psychology atlas thing, and the storylines this season were, brilliantly, devastatingly, not about the crimes or even the criminals but about the humanity of it all.

Which brings me to Fang Kaiyi.

The season very obviously set up Fang Kaiyi as a mirror for Shen Yi. Shen Yi even states this outright, both to Fang Kaiyi himself and to Du Cheng (which honestly felt a bit unneccessary, as it was giving intense Main Character Energy from Shen Yi, geez). Regardless, I actually loved the set-up and development of Fang Kaiyi and Shen Yi as foils. This is an excellent way for an episodic drama to use the B plot to shed light on the relationships and struggles of the main characters.

My problem with it is.... the resolution makes no sense! Not to be an antogonist simp on the main (because I'm really not), but: accessory to murder (which itself felt very cheesy and moustach-twirly, tbh) aside, what did Fang Kaiyi really do so wrong?* The season does such a fabulous job of building up the ethical murkiness of contemporary genetics research, positioning Fang Kaiyi at the center of a very relevant debate that, to most of us, truly does not have a clear-cut moral imperative or resolution. And this plotline so brilliantly intersected with Shen Yi's thirst for knowledge (pssst I love how he calls Fang Kaiyi's lab his "Eden") regarding the innermost workings of the human heart.

And the resolution of all this is: actually, it is all black and white. Fang Kaiyi, who pushed boundaries, is evil, insane, wrong. Shen Yi, who pulled back from the precipice, is good, steady, correct.

(For that matter, what was wrong with a young Shen Yi, that he talks about wanting to "save" Fang Kaiyi like Du Cheng "saved" him? This hearkens back to my s1 finale complaint about Shen Yi's arc resolving with "and now the wayward artist fulfills his destiny of becoming a police officer yayyyy", which I THOUGHT this season was addressing, but it turns out... not really.)

And the TLDR of it all is that Shen Yi betraying Fang Kaiyi was KINDA EXTREMELY SHITTY (Fang Kaiyi tearfully telling Shen Yi "I opened my heart to you and you betrayed me" ... he's right and he should say it!!) and also retroactively subverts all of the delicious tension of Shen Yi's character arc this season. So, was Shen Yi stringing Fang Kaiyi along the whole time, and was not once actually tempted to push past the boundaries of conventional ethics and societal norms? Please, he's an artist; he exists to tug at societal norms. Okay, so maybe he was tempted, but ultimately found his way back to Du Cheng the side of the light, to use the show's language. When and how exactly does this shift occur? It's just frustrating that this entire season teased the idea of Shen Yi hovering over a precipice and then... never actually pushed him over the precipice.

Meanwhile, Shen Yi starts ranting about how Fang Kaiyi is subverting the natural order of things and maybe there is a spiritual reason for the fetus dying (I swear I half-expected him to go on an anti-abortion rant or something). Cut to the Bejiang police crew triumphantly being like yay! we policed so well!! Anyway... it felt icky.

My other complaint with the resolution of this whole plotline is that Shen Yi's grand breakdown / revelation is shown in a flashback. A flashback! Why on earth does that not play out in real time? Was that not supposed to be the core part of what this entire season had been building up to? Also why wasn't his boyfriend Du Cheng there to comfort him??

(Btw: Gay as hell to sit teary-eyed in a room full of paintings of your archnemesis, bereft and aching...god, the fics write themselves...)

Alright, alright, enough of me complaining about subtle copaganda, I obviously knew what I was getting into here. It's just so weird to me that both seasons 1 and 2 set up these juicy questions and encourage us to dig deep into the murkiness of these gray areas only to just circle back around to... criminals bad! police good! law and order 4eva! natural order good! progress evil! Even Shen Yi and Du Cheng's extremely insanely unequivocally romantic reconciliation in the finale primarliy speaks to their recommitment to... catching criminals, I guess??

(Part of me wonders if the show is bending over backwards trying to figure out a way to keep Shen Yi and Du Cheng together without putting them in a romantic relationship, because IRL they can just.... have different jobs and still BE TOGETHER, jeepers, it's not that hard. Du Cheng is a police captain, Shen Yi runs an art therapy studio, and they're boyfriends. DONE.)

On a final note: this truly IS one of the gayest cdramas out there and I am here for ALL of the angst and pining <333

If anyone wants to chat, hmu, I'm vibrating at an intensity heretofore unknown to humankind and would love to DISCUSS. In the meantime I'm gonna go touch some grass.

--

(Full disclosure: I understand that the narrative resolutions may be a result of censored ideas and ideals, so if that's the case, I'm really just venting my frustrations as a western viewer.)

*This is may be an area where I'm just confused about the plot -- everyone was all up in arms about Fang Kaiyi gene-editing the Zhou Shanshan / Cao Jian embryo, but wasn't that... the whole point?? And I'm definitely missing something about the sketchy involvement of the hospital... but all of this is still to say, it would have been more interesting if Fang Kaiyi weren't breaking any actual laws, just psuhing ethical boundaries.

[theshadowrealmitself]

The reason I haven’t been making Vulcan posts lately is because other than the fact that I’ve been obsessed with this one fandom lately that has. incredibly unsatisfying (to me) fanfics (so much of it is either ambiguous/unhappy ending, not tagged as such, and also a ton of the pairing ones are actually just “implied” pairings), I’ve been obsessed with this one idea that I have no idea how to articulate, but my stomach hurts rn and I can’t sleep till it stops so I’m gonna try rn:

Old-ish Vulcan, def old by Human standards, not so much by Vulcan standards, getting their life saved by a Human child, and the Human kid is like,, the epitome of like,, a very specific type of sci-fi show protagonist, like it’s just this tiny kid with a ray gun getting into impossibly large situations and always finding away out of them with their can-do attitude and snark at adults, and these really are horrifying and traumatic situations but the kid just!! always makes it out of it!! (Indomitable human spirit or smth idk)

So anyways, they meet the Vulcan, save the Vulcan’s life out of a situation the Vulcan thought 100% would kill them, and then leave into the night

And they just keep meeting like that, just this Human always going in blazing, uncovering plots, saving lives just because it’s the right thing to do, and then leaving just as quickly

So by now, the Human is an adult and is in Starfleet, trying to sniff out a traitor amongst the crew, and the Vulcan is there for unrelated reasons, but sees the Human there and can already tell that something is up, but trusts the Human to handle it

And there’s this sort of little assumption the Vulcan is making, I mean, the kid (now an adult but it’s hard for the Vulcan to look at them and not see the tiny child they first met) gets out of every scrap practically unharmed, always shows up to help, and always just leaves without being questioned afterwards, so obviously, they have to be working with some organization (maybe not as a kid but definitely as an adult), trained to do all this, and this is all sanctioned by the organization

But nah, they’re a lone wolf, technically breaking a shit ton of laws, but when they get found out that they lied to get into Starfleet, the older, well-respected Vulcan vouches for them, so no one even questions their presence, everyone just thinks they’re a. extremely secretive spy hired by Starfleet.

Idk it’s just all funny to me

Edit: And yes, the Human is from the past, cryogenically frozen and woken up in what’s considered the future for them, and they’re just crashing their way through life, somehow living a nonstop action adventure, barely understanding what’s actually happening some times, just accidentally living a really chaotic life

[gregoriaofnyssa]

On the Higher-Critical Method of Hermeneutics

It is exceedingly trendy to devour religious information of all kinds through the lens of secular scholarship, for either the sake of general knowledge, or for the sake of an artistic adventure. For either of those purposes, and certainly for the purpose of actual religious learning, the higher-critical approach fails on every level. The biggest perpetrators of this online are Genetically Modified Skeptic and Religion for Breakfast; the biggest print perpetrators are Bart D. Ehrman and George Harris. This method fails to accurately describe and convey the concept of religious orthodoxy, and therefore fails to accurately convey controversies within religions; it also fails to anthropologically contend with religions in a way that is honest and charitable; it denies not only the very concept of truth, but also the very concept of literary analysis. 

Much of the basis for this argument is rooted in vintage anthropology-- I preface “vintage” because anthropology has changed a great deal in the last 100 (even 50) years, and has come more and more to reflect the higher-critical method of hermeneutics, of course applied to secular cultural artifacts. In the past, anthropologists did not seek to study other cultures as a way to change their own, or as a way to frame their own. They studied it for pure passion. They studied it for themselves. An anthropologist doing similar good work today is Daniel Everett who wrote the sympathetic, raw, and amazing book Don't Sleep, There Are Snakes: Life and Language in the Amazonian Jungle. A main reason why Everett’s work is so effective is because it takes the word of the Pirahã people (the subject of the book) as true. This makes the book strikingly intimate, especially because it is told from Everett’s own perspective. We thus get a greater understanding of the culture-- a highly mysterious and un-understandable culture at that. He writes, “‘I mean, what are you going to do to him for shooting your dog?’ ‘I will do nothing. I won’t hurt my brother. He acted like a child. He did a bad thing. But he is drunk and his head is not working well. He should not have hurt my dog. It is like my child.’ Even when provoked, as Kaaboogí was now, the Pirahãs were able to respond with patience, love, and understanding, in ways rarely matched in any other culture I have encountered.”

A key problem with the higher-critical method is that it applies a hermeneutics of suspicion, rather than a hermeneutics of trust, as vintage anthropology did. The passage above would read much differently, and be much less revelatory, had Everett followed the encounter with an insistence that the Pirahã must not actually be so compassionate, and must, in fact, be putting on a show to fool outsiders for more canoe money. Just as that is unsatisfying, so too is a hermeneutics of suspicion that insists Jesus said to care for the poor in order to manipulate starving Jeudeans into joining his “movement”. Not only is it unsatisfying, but it makes no sense. The higher-critical scholar must invent new motivations seen nowhere else in the text, or in adjoining texts of the day, to justify what is essentially a headcanon. It assumes too much, and what it assumes is an insult: people do not say they believe what they do because they believe it-- they have ulterior motives. The higher-critical method demands you see all people as charlatans.

We should notice that this is an anti-historical method as well. Historians do not make a habit of assuming primary sources are lying unless there is extremely good reason. I’ve studied the writings of Ibn Fadlan on the rituals of the Vikings, and not once did a professor or a critic write that he must’ve been making up the horse-killing for the sake of making barbarians appear worse than Muhammadeans. 

The method is also unliterary. It is possible for an atheist to read the Bible (or any scripture, for that matter) and encounter it as a complete work of fiction, whilst still applying the usual rules of textual analysis and letters. It is possible, even in the context of “fiction” for interpretations to be baseless and wrong. We hear in school there is no such thing as a wrong answer in literature, but be assured, there is. There are analysis, conclusions, and summaries that are disconnected from the text so to have nothing backing it up for any kind of merit. For example, if someone were to say, “The theme of Hamlet is that love conquers all,” that would be a conclusion so wrong you’d probably assume the speaker was pretending to have read it. The same is true with the Bible, and with all other scripture. The theme of Maccabees is not that the oppressed should take their torture lying down and there is nothing in the epistles to suggest the Apostle Paul was gay. The latter is fanfiction and the former is active subversion-- look out for that. 

You may believe I want only the Bible to be interpreted in such a way. But this would be wrong. I am frequently disgusted by the mistreatment of other sacred texts; in the HCM, this is particularly suffered upon the Quran. My insistence against the HCM is not only religious, but born of an anthropological conviction. I love people; the whole world is my people. I love to study them, to learn about their experiences, and to read what they have written. It breaks something in my heart when even documents I disagree with are encountered as if they are intentionally lying. The Quran was written by a man, and I believe that man believed what he wrote to be true, and I believe that those who believed him really did. I do not like to be taken for a liar, and I assume the feeling is the same through all people. 

It weakens the position of the opponents of any text, because in order to argue against something, you must actually know it. You must understand it, and you will never understand something you don’t trust to be the words someone once believed.

[sleepvines]

PerLa introductory post

This might be a little all over the place since some of this is copy pasted from a lore doc.

An old headworld I used to post about here, Chasm, is actually alive and well! but it's transformed dramatically since 2020. It's since taken on the name Perpetual Legacy (PerLa) and shifted more towards being private because the sheer amount of difference and information felt too big to ever explain/share online. And I'm only half of the equation here, @acewarden is the other author of this setting. It wouldn't be the same without them.

This drawing from 2022 is super out of date as you can imagine, but it illustrates what happened over time (I was unsatisfied with the bird people, then the 2021!drebyl, and now I'm happy with my bugs. yes the cats are bugs.)

PerLa's differences are exceedingly numerous, so its best to treat it like a new setting altogether.

SO WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

As the lore goes, the forebears of this world, the people of the ancient civilization, were known as the Advancers. Advancers were ambitious and innovative by nature, borne from eusocial insectoid creatures. They tinkered away and invented new machines, formed a network of cities, and made miracles out of biomechanical engineering. Eventually they found a biological substance they called CFM, or Conductive Fusion Material, deep underground inside of a colossal unidentifiable mineral deposit. This substance could attach to both flesh and metal, forming a strong, seamless interface between the materials. It was also highly conductive when manipulated right, and became both a "glue" for new biotech innovations, and an extremely versatile conductor. Lastly it could store information through a complicated biological "encoding" process. This material became extremely important.

(A handful of advancers, 2022)

They used CFM to create biological tools by grafting mechanical parts and computational devices onto organic beings. Sometimes all they needed to use was the CFM itself to change an organism’s behavior and function drastically. The problem was, when the biological component died, the mechanical parts couldn’t sustain a grafted creature for long.

(CFM 2022)

So using this material they built giant machines they called S.E.R.A.s (Static Electric Recycling Amplifiers), in an attempt to create an ambient "charged" field to power their tech and biotech without the need to stop and recharge manually. It was their try at a perpetual energy machine. The idea was that they could use the conductivity of the material to bump up the level of static electricity in the air of their cities to a safe, livable degree, passively charging machines and artificial creatures. Recycling lightning strikes and solar power, it seemed like an efficient way to keep things running hands-free.

Unfortunately, SERA were only seen working in the low-voltage prototype phase. Due to a catastrophic, unforeseen consequence of the SERAs’ function, the voltage spiked and killed off the ancients via mass electrocution.

(A SERA and a drilling site 2022)

The CFM material, they didn't realize, was the grey matter of a long-deceased organism's brain, and they had just created a super network that could simulate unconscious, undreaming, REM sleep cycles. These fatal pulses of static electricity have since become a regular force of nature in the area, and organisms of all kinds have had to adapt over the many, many years the advancers have been gone.

From the lore doc: "THE HAZE: Electricity lingers in the air on the surface. Almost routinely, there are waves of heightened energy that agitate the ambient static electricity, and create shock-storms that pass through. These storms are deadly, but brief, and temporarily activate the dormant machinery the ancients left behind. The periodic haze storms occur due to the electrical activity occurring in the unconscious CFM within the SERA, much like a brain in an REM cycle."

The age of the Successors rose from these ashes. Terrestrial animals in the area fled to live subterranean lives, touched by the Advancer's technology or not. A trio of sapient creature species, the Successors, all have one thing in common: CFM has changed them, and they know they are not the first ones here.

(various successor drawings, 2022)

The drebyl are catlike beings with stingers at the ends of their tails and mandibles in their mouths. Their tie to the ancient civilization can be traced to precursory individuals getting trapped in biotech "programming" mechanisms, and emerging with injected CFM coding. These individuals were compelled to avoid areas marked as dangerous or prohibited for animals, so they had a higher survival rate. Culturally, they're known for taking it easy, indulging in the arts, and developing a modern written word based on what they can find of the advancer's ancient texts.

Syrels have a direct tie to the ancient civilization as escaped novelty tools. Previously known as SigRels (Signal Relayers), the advancers used them as an inefficient, but cute, means of communication. Imagine you could send a voice message or broadcast to someone that would arrive on four legs! They have feathery antennae, bald, colorful faces and scales, and a rodlike tail used for identification. They have the unique ability to communicate via their own "broadcast" waves, and catch decaying signals from even the advancers time. As such, many syrel groups believe they're hearing ghosts or spirits, and have developed a fascination around old audio logs and transmission equipment left behind by the Advancers.

The gul are the most nebulous of the trio, having a more indirect tie to the Advancers and originating from the underground already. Due to their inclination to dig, they stumbled upon open CFM deposits left accessible from abandoned drilling sites, and preyed upon creatures that had eaten the stuff. Now it expresses itself in the form of powerful electro reception that makes them more effective at hunting, and at sensing when the Haze will begin. They are the largest of the successors, with bulky bodies, thick claws, and large protruding horns. Some groups have a reverence for the Haze, feeling in tune with the electricity and performing burrowing rituals that leave only their horns exposed during a storm. This rite of passage is one of the most painful experiences a gul will ever have.

(gul sketches, 2022)

The successors have spread far and wide across the landscape. They have developed various settlements and communities all over the place, and travel between them frequently. Most time spent on the surface involves teams breaking into the ruins of dead cities and scavenging materials, tech, or just studying what they can find. Only when the Haze is dormant they can venture out safely.

(A syrel exploring ruins, 2023)

That's all for this world introduction, though. Thank you for reading if you got this far, I'm excited to finally share this world and what we've made so far, answer any questions, etc. I hope this will help us get in touch with it again.

[livsteas]

my year of rest and relaxation review

this review does contain spoilers. this book is also undoubtedly 18+ and no minors should be partaking in it.

i want to begin this review by talking directly to those who dislike it. there were many mixed reviews from what i saw about this book before purchasing it, and most just cited the fact that the main character is awful as a person and horribly depressing. well, that is true. she is definitely that. but a bad main character doesn’t make a bad book. she’s still very well-written and captivating as a narrator, even if unreliable. if you prefer books where the main character is a good-hearted heroine, i promise there is a whole world out there for you. but if you are still willing to read, i would absolutely 100% recommend this book to you. holden caufield in “the catcher in the rye” is just as miserable, but apparently that book is a classic, i guess (i really had no pleasure in dragging through that one in high school.)

the premise of the book is super simple; she pretty much just wants to sleep the whole year, following feeling unfulfilled in life, and wanting some sort of rebirth. this summary makes it sound incredibly boring, but there is never a dull moment in the story. nothing my eyes wanted to skip over. i was hooked on every word and paragraph. Moshfegh writes in such a beautiful way that was simple (and a good break after reading sense and sensibility) but powerful, as if the main character herself was furiously scribbling into a notebook every time she came back to consciousness.

you never truly feel sorry for the character. she is a total asshole. a complete entitled, self-centered, rich asshole. but her thoughts are still expressed in a way that can be relatable. i think that’s what makes it so captivating. even though she exhibits extreme behavior, it is still relatable on a base level. being unsatisfied with the career you’ve chosen. the death of family to suicide, to cancer. a love-hate relationship between long time friends. wanting a fresh start.

i do also think Moshfegh picked the perfect time period to place this book in. 2000-2001 are very simplistic but complicated years. the emergence of new technology yet still just primitive enough. the joy of the VHS player where she watches movies on repeat makes it so thought dialogue is better concise, but she is also not scrolling for hours upon hours on social media distracting herself and putting herself to sleep that way.

the lingering theme on 9/11 is also pretty haunting. you can see from my updates that it was constantly on my mind, but the book truly has no reason for me to think that way. Moshfegh simply slips in unnerving details about its potential future presence, like Reva being moved into the twin towers for work, or how each date after she wakes up during her hibernation is explicitly listed. i thought for a second it would just cut off before 9/11. but the final one-page chapter is as well placed as i hoped it would be.

read this book, but don’t find yourself relating too much with it. don’t allow yourself to wish for similar events. i guess that is the problem many people have with it. but it is possible to read a book at base level and just appreciate the story. you don’t have to absorb it into your very soul. it’s fiction, after all. it’s not meant to be taken 100% seriously. enjoy yourself.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

this did conclude my reading challenge for the year as well. i had set it very low at the beginning of the year because truly i didn’t expect to read at all! and then suddenly i’ve finished 3 books in the span of about a month, which is so wonderful. if you’re interested in being friends on goodreads (i have none �� say yes pls) it’s linked in the pinned post on my profile.

in the seventh chapter, she mentions that she read “war and peace”, and i’m taking it as a solidifying sign, as that will be my next venture for what will probably be the rest of the year. now that will be a long, intense review. and i’ll see you at the end of the year for that. <3

[powerofthesunau]

Clan Guide: SHADOWCLAN

Even though ShadowClan is seen as vicious and secretive by the other clans, the clan holds cunning and bravery as its highest virtues. This appealled particularly to Tawnypelt where her old clan judged her for what Tigerstar took from ThunderClan, ShadowClan wanted to see what she could offer them.

Clan Lifestyle

ShafowClan sleep during midday when prey are not in the open and are most active at dawn and dusk, often intercepting other clan's morning and evening patrols. Once the chores are done they socialise and train at night.

Intelligence is valued in the clan and a cat can improve their reputation through smart techniques to trap prey or scare off enemy patrols. This once included what were considered barbaric practices such as lacing their claws with juniper berries or hiding stinking prey in rival territories to lure unwanted pests. Various leaders have phased out these practices to improve relations with other clans. During desperate times warriors may resort to questionable practices such as singlimg out apprentices during battle.

Unlike other clans ShadowClan has less of an emphasis on blood purity, being more open to loners who are willing to commit themselves to a ShadowClan lifestyle. Traits like bravery and intelligence is valued within the clan with suffixes like Fang, Heart and Claw being common, as well as cats being named for a trait they excelled at during their apprenticeship such as "Eye" for being detail-oreintated or "Leap" for quick reflexes.

ShadowClan cats are loyal to ShadowClan first, then StarClan, willing to bend the warrior code or StarClan's will for the sake of their clan. Despite this they are very superstitious, not holding cermonies during stormy weather and paying close attention to omens in their prey. ShadowClan also believe their ancestors are somewhat isolated from the rest of StarClan, sometimes taking the forms of birds to watch over their ancestors.

Scars, when not in excess and pelts still taken care of, are seen as extremely attractive, particularly ear nicks (not shredded being a beauty standard).

.

Notable ShadowClan Traditions

Initiation

It is not uncommon for apprentices to be named warriors after a particularly spectacular feat. If not after 10 moons of age an apprentice becomes eligible to do their warrior assesment in carrionplace. They can either earn their warrior name in combat or once they feel they are capable to contribute to the clan as a full warrior. The assesment is known as "Initiation", they are tasked to at night, kill a rat using their wit and bravery, potientially risking their life in the process. Although seen as barbaric by the other clans, Initiation is proof to the clan that a cat is willing to lay their life in the name of ShafowClan. This tradition was once only used for adult outsiders willing to join the clan but was eventually extended to apprentices. Initiation was put on hold during the Great Sickness of ShadowClan but ever since the Battle Against BloodClan.

(above- an apprentice has completed their initiation cermomy and will be named a warrior at dawn)

Funeral Rites

Funeral traditions are extremely important in ShadowClan as cats believe that unsatisfied relatives will continue to haunt the living. Cats who die in combat to protect ShadowClan, particularly against foxes/badgers or against rival clans attempting to invade their territory. They are celebrated through funeral songs.

Storytelling

Telling stories is an important part of ShadowClan's social lives. Usually extremly exaggerrated, fables are used to honour brave fallen warriors and boost the sense of community. However the other clans often take these stories at face value and guillable apprentices really do believe that ShadowClan warriors can turn invisible or spy on the other clans from the trees above.

.

Prey

ShadowClan are oppertunists, hunting a variety of prey including rodents, amphibians and even grubs and fish when other prey is scarce. The Carrionplace is used to hunt rats. Roadkill is also scavenged during the worst of times.

[witchhaunts]

VAMPIRES WILL NEVER HURT YOU : VAMPIRIC TRAITS

vampires are creatures that exist within underworld. i take inspiration from various media &. folklore for how vampirism operates within this setting.

GENERAL TRAITS : these are things that occur when embraced &. are typically physiological.

RETRACTABLE FANGS : vampire fangs are not visible until they want them to be. it can be involuntary as well such as when experiencing very strong emotions ( more common among fledglings ) or when very hungry.

UNSETTLING BEAUTY : once embraced , vampires become supernaturally attractive in a way that is strangely alluring. nothing drastic changes about their appearance but there is something about the quality that fundamentally changes in an almost faelike way. vampires hunt better when their prey is intrigued by them.

TECHNICALLY DEAD : a person must die to become a vampire , &. their body reflects this. they are cold to the touch , have no heartbeat , etc. when it comes to doing things they could while living ❝ there is no relief tied to the action ❞ a la one of the only valid things to come out of tw*light. vampires can eat but everything tastes like ash. they can breathe but there is no satisfactory sensation like when they were mortal &. alive. they can sleep , but have no need to save for avoiding sunlight which can be circumvented as well. however , drugs &. alcohol do affect them somewhat , but both are stronger when someone they feed on has recently partaken.

DRINK BLOOD : an obvious one but vampires often sustain themselves on blood. animal blood is an option , but it is extremely unsatisfying &. surviving on it only requires near constant feeding. drinking human blood is generally required at minimum every few days. if one does not feed they begin to take on a slightly more monstrous appearance ( more reflective eyes , veins turning black , visible fangs , etc. ) the quality of the human effects this as well : someone who is well off &. thus able to afford to take good care of themselves is a better meal than someone who does not. blood from a blood bank is only marginally less effective than a live human to the point it almost does not matter. a vampire can feed on other vampires but it is very difficult to do so. energy vampires also exist , though extremely rare. they feed off of the emotions of others like fear , despair , or , even rarer , happiness. just as with classic vampires , a person can be drained completely of their energy &. it can kill them. draining someone entirely is the only way to fully satiate hunger &. stop the ever present burn in your throat but it does not last long and runs the risk of discovery.

VENOMOUS SALIVA : there is essentially a toxin within vampires that allows them to better survive. whenever they bite someone , there is momentary pain in their prey that is quickly replaced by a very pleasant &. pleasurable feeling. it makes victims docile to allow them to feed &. the lingering effects leave them almost intoxicated for a little while after. it is with this same trait they can close the puncture wounds. &. create other vampires.

EMBRACE : as is typical with vampire lore , the only way they can ❝ reproduce ❞ is through the bite , referred to as embracing. someone must be almost completely drained of blood &. killed before they can be turned into a creature of the night. once this is done , the sire must feed their potential creation some of their own blood to complete the process. this means that having been fed upon does not automatically make someone a vampire and even then the toxin is ❝ cycled out ❞ after a few days anyway. the embrace is a very intentional act &. why there is not an overabundance of vampires.

POWERS : additional abilities that vampires have along the more supernatural line. nearly all of these powers increase in strength as a vampire ages , &. can weaken if one has not fed enough recently.

IMMORTAL : all vampires are undying , able to exist in perpetuity at the age they were embraced. they are already dead &. there are few ways for them to meet a true death.

SUPERNATURAL CHARM : vampires are not just physically alluring but literally so. they are able to take over the mind , to varying degrees , of other creatures. their very presence can become more attracting , intimidating , or compelling with magical emotional manipulation. they can alter minds as well , confusing &. altering memories , dominating any who can be influenced. other vampires are more resistant to these effects , &. few humans can without proper magical protection. when these powers are used , a slight tinge of red enters the iris coloring.

SUPERNATURAL PHYSICALITY : even if they may not look it , all vampires have enhanced physical abilities. this includes supernatural strength , speed , reflexes , endurance , toughness , &. senses. a vampire can will these abilities to exceed even vampiric basic standards in some cases at the cost of growing hungrier. for example , being fast enough to cross large distances in a moment , strong enough to stop a moving train , etc. though all of these obviously run the risk of mortal exposure. the state of a person during life when they were embraced does have some influence on the proportional vampiric abilities.

RAPID HEALING : already difficult to damage , when a vampire is injured their body heals very quickly. a broken bone can typically be fixed within minutes.

WALL CLIMBING / WALKING : vampires can walk or climb on vertical or upside down surfaces. they do not need to remain in motion &. could theoretically sleep laying on the ceiling if they feel like it.

THRALLS : in addition to being enthralling , vampires have the ability to create thralls. these are creatures , typically mortal humans , they are compelled into loyalty bordering on obsession in some cases. thralls must be created by feeding vampire blood to the subject continuously over time in addition to repeated exposure to the mental manipulation of enthrallment.

WEAKNESSES : a list of weaknesses that often fatally affect vampires.

SUNLIGHT : the sun is fatal to vampires , though the burning process is not instantaneous. it takes a minute or two until it completely dissolves a vampire to dust. vampire hunters can be especially cruel &. leave a vampire tied up to meet the rising sun to draw out the true death. however , there is one way to prevent this from happening : an enchanted object of personal significance. vampires have the ability to do this process themselves , but more often than not they require the assistance of a warlock or enchanter. once the enchantment is complete , the object must be carried or worn &. the vampire is able to walk in the sunlight. the moment it is removed from their person they can be burned. only natural sunlight can kill a vampire ; manmade items like sunlamps do nothing.

BEHEADING : removing the head results in immediate true death for a vampire. due to their supernatural toughness , this is very difficult to do.

FIRE : while not an immediate death , fire is incredibly dangerous to vampires. it can burn them almost as quickly as sunlight &. it impedes their regenerative healing significantly.

STAKE TO THE HEART : whether it be wooden or not , being staked does not kill a vampire. instead , it paralyzes them until it is removed &. the injury takes time to heal. some of the oldest of vampires go through the process of actually removing their heart , at the cost of deadening their emotions &. morals , to prevent this possibility.

SILVER : also not fatal though still dangerous. it does not burn them or anything as with werewolves , but it is easier to wound a vampire with silver weaponry. silver is also a metal that takes to enchantments very well. like fire , it impacts their ability to rapidly heal their bodies after sustaining damage.

MYTHS : a list of other popular vampire lore that do not apply , or apply differently , to this setting.

HOLY PLACES / OBJECTS : such things do not affect vampires , no matter the religion. there are supernatural wards that exist though , &. have often been applied to holy places or objects , hence the prevalence of this myth.

ALCHEMY / MAGIC : magic of the more physical than innate sense typically belongs to the realm of witches. however , vampires are capable of following the same practices and in fact are better equipped at grasping this talent than humans new to witchcraft &. some other supernatural creatures. more specifically , vampires are able to take to blood magic very quickly if they are taught or learn it themselves due to their propensity for sanguine elements.

RUNNING WATER : vampires are not affected by this in any way.

INVITATION : there is nothing stopping a vampire from coming into your home. again , the wards that exist are often the cause of the belief in this limitation.

SHAPESHIFTING : vampires cannot turn into bats , rats , dogs , clouds of mist , turn invisible , or anything like that.

ANIMAL AFFINITY / FEAR : animals are not able to be specifically commanded by vampires , but they are more susceptible to their ability to compel other beings. animals do not innately hate vampires but they may act suspicious or confused by their presence.

GARLIC : this does not work as a vampire deterrent.

MIRRORS : vampires do have reflections.

[yourbestpalpercy]

Mr. Grizz sighed a tired breath as he pushed his way through the tiny doorway into his office. The doorway had a few cracks and crevices in it, evidence of years of Mr. Grizz pushing his large self into his office. Mr. Grizz knew he had told the construction workers to get him a wide doorway but, without a clear idea of just how large Mr. Grizz was, they ended up getting it wrong, making the doorway to his office just barely big enough for Mr. Grizz to get into his office.

Mr. Grizz’s office was luckily more fit to his size, giving him enough room to walk around and not bump anything off of the shelves. Mr. Grizz sighed again, setting down the fish net full of today’s golden eggs, and took his coat off, placing it gently on the nearby coat rack before he picked the net up again and sat down in his chair, setting the bag beside him.

Today’s catch wasn’t nearly as good as it normally would be if the team was actually paying more attention like they were supposed to. Mr. Grizz was just disappointed in them. Oh well, Mr. Grizz supposed though. At least they got some golden eggs unlike their first shift where they got literally NOTHING.

As Mr. Grizz reached into the net and pulled out an egg to stare at its gleam, his phone began to ring. No one called him besides maybe the complaint desk to tell him that his employees were unsatisfied with the job. He had heard every kind of complaint at this point and personally predicted that today, it was going to be about Mr. Grizz’s disappointment in the team today.

Mr. Grizz was pleasantly surprised though when, instead of hearing the complaint desk worker’s droning and dead voice come through, he heard his business partner’s voice. Commander Tartar.

Mr. Grizz remembered when he was floating about in space, defeated and hurt, and randomly got a call. Mr. Grizz remembered being panicked and..also confused before answering. Mr. Grizz remembered becoming even more nervous when he first heard Tartar’s voice…but then settling and being relieved as Tartar explained its plan to get Mr. Grizz down from there. He liked talking to Tartar…

“H-H-H-Hey Grizzy!” Tartar’s voice was always nice to hear in Mr. Grizz’s opinion. It was almost always friendly and today was no different. Though, Mr. Grizz did notice how buggy and glitchy his voice was today. Mr. Grizz often had to remind himself that Tartar was a fairly old android and had a habit of not getting repairs or even fixing himself! Mr. Grizz should probably continue work on getting that update for Tartar finished.

“What is it this time, Tartar?” Mr. Grizz answered the phone, now anxiously messing with the golden egg in his paw. His voice was still gruff like it was with everyone but it was noticeably gentler when talking to Tartar.

Mr. Grizz shot up and to attention immediately, slamming his paw down on his desk. Tartar had to just be playing a weird joke on him, right?! Everyone knew humans were long dead! “That’s literally impossible, Tartar. They’re all dead! Long dead even! Are you absolutely sure it’s not an Inkling, Octarian or some other creature?” Mr. Grizz started to get up from his seat, placing on his coat again and getting ready to head down to the metro. He had to see this for himself.

“Extremely sure. They sleep like a rock so I was able to check for anything suspicious. It’s a human for sure. It’s honestly amazing how they’ve evolved though. Interesting even…” Tartar got that sound to his voice when he was thinking about malicious things before his voice went back to being excited, “I-I don’t know whether to think I’m going crazy or to be extremely excited!” Mr. Grizz could already tell Tartar was bouncing up and down on the other side.

“...Fine, I’ll be down in 15 minutes, don’t forget to be careful. Remember, humans are just as dangerous as anyone else. My wolves almost went extinct at their hands. ..Though I guess it doesn’t matter nowadays…” Mr. Grizz grumbled before realizing that Tartar had already hung up. “Oh for the love of Cod…” Mr. Grizz face palmed as he placed the phone back where it was supposed to be, “Tartar, please tell me you understand the risks…” Mr. Grizz grumbled as he left his office.

Commander Tartar placed its phone back on its rack and turned towards the human as they mumbled something in their sleep. ‘Stop bouncing! You look ridiculous!’ Shouted its thoughts before it grabbed the human’s hand and checked for a pulse. “Ooo, yes! You are still alive. Don’t know why I just had to check but you never know!” Tartar pulled away and readjusted its black bowtie as it did. Tartar had to look its best.

Tartar’s sharp, metal claws were at least a little hidden, right? He couldn’t imagine how this little human would feel if they saw just how sharp his claws were.

Oh, she’s waking up!!!

Tartar brushed their outfit off and watched the human stir and stretch. “god…I’m an idiot..falling asleep in the middle of a…dark metro??” She started to slowly stand up, rubbing her eye. “Did I not learn a thing from Mother- Fern?” The human slowly looked up, seeing Tartar. She froze, allowing Tartar to speak.

“Ah! You’re awake, gre-!” Tartar cut off when a sharp pain exploded on the side of its head. It hit the ground rather hard. Great, now it was dazed. Cod, what even hit it?

“Who are you!?” The pain in Tartar’s head was taking forever to ebb away. He slowly looked up at the human, she was wielding a golf club. Wh-When and where in the world did she get that!? How did he not notice she had it!?

“I SAID WHO ARE YOU!? Don’t make me strike you again!” The human pointed the end of the golf club at them. Tartar quickly kicked back, shouting “C-Calm down! H-Hold your horses! Take a dam chill pill!” As they did. Tartar held up their hands. The human stepped forward, closing the distance quickly and raised the golf club again, aiming for Tartar’s horn this time. Tartar had to think of something to say, now!

“I-It’s–,” It scrambled to get the words out, “I’m just a t-telephone! Th-That’s m-my name actually! Telephone! Just calm down!” Tartar scooted away quickly from the human, a little more angry that the first human in forever attacked it.

“...” The human glared at Tartar harder and stood taller to try to look intimidating. It was honestly kinda funny. Finally, she lowered her club slightly, keeping it up high enough so that Tartar wouldn’t forget what it could do to him.

“Good enough, I guess,” The human scoffed, still disgusted with Tartar. “Why were you watching me sleep?” She continued, pointing her golf club at Tartar’s face again..

“W-Well, you probably already know but all of humanity is extinct! I haven’t seen a human in the last 12,000 years! ..Which intrigues me..” Tartar finally stood up and leaned over the human, placing a hand on their chin; getting a curious look in their eyes. “Where did you even come from…?” Tartar got a little closer to the human. Too close for comfort apparently.

The human jabbed her club under Tartar’s head upon it getting a little too close. “And tell me why I should tell you ANYTHING!” Aggressive much? Geez.

“I’ve been trying to bring back humanity? It’s what I was made for. Seriously, stop being so hostile,” Tartar pushed its hand down on the golf club, forcing the human to lower it. The human’s glare toughened more before a cruel smirk came to her face.

“Ha!” The human scoffed, “You’re made for transmitting calls. No idea why anyone would give a telephone a body but whatever. You’re a phone for a reason,” The human glared at Tartar, her smirk becoming smug. “I don’t see why I have to lie to you. You’re a human! I’m your ally and allies do not lie to each other,” Tartar clenched his hand, showing off the sharp claws as a threat. The human looked uncomfortable upon seeing them.

“Let’s see…I have that dam monologue prerecorded somewhere…” Tartar started to crack their handle and make strange noises trying to find it. “Monol-?” Tartar held up a finger in a ‘one moment’ motion. The human scoffed softly and crossed her arms with a huff.

“[DISABLING CONTEMPORARY SPEECH MODE]” It was sudden to the human judging by her flinch.

“I am TARTAR, an AI construct created 12,000 years ago by a brilliant professor. My prime directive is to pass on humanity’s vast knowledge on to the next worthy lifeform. When your kind became self-aware,” Tartar cracked its lever again, stopping the recording in its tracks. The human seemed curious now as if interested about hearing the rest of the monologue. “I don’t believe anything else is really important in that recording.”

“...Oh, well then,” The human now messed with their golf club, brushing some dust off of it. “Don’t expect me to tell you my name. You haven’t earned it yet…” Tartar’s eyes flickered to blue for a moment, quickly scanning the human while she wasn’t fully paying attention. It was honestly super funny to see her snap back to attention and look at Tartar.

“Wha- Wait! What did you just do!? I-I felt that! You- I-I felt a tickle–,” The human pat herself down quickly, accidentally dropping her golf club in the process.

“Hmm, not very good at keeping your guard up around potential threats, are you?” Tartar placed his hands crossed behind his back with a smug smirk before saying, “You’re Everest! No middle or last name interestingly. You’re a week away from turning 18 and are officially an adult! That sounds exciting! You’re also Applicant 10,009 for The Promised Land! Though, something tells me you’re not interested in that,” Tartar stood straight up again and folded his hands together with a smile, “Having scan tools and being an AI is rather helpful.”

“...Don’t you ever do that again…” Everest growled and pointed at Tartar again. Her amber eyes glowed with distrust but..lenience most interestingly. It was like Everest wanted to trust them. “I don’t think you understand that I don’t wish to hurt you, kid. I’m the Messenger of Humanity, not the Mass Murderer of Humanity,” The poked Everest’s nose. “Boop! As the kids say nowadays.”

“Oh back off, you invasive thing!” Everest brushed her nose off quickly and placed her hands near Tartar’s chest to push it slightly, not that she moved it much.

“My point is, I want to help bring humanity back. I’m not here to harm anyone besides the scum, bile and seafood that have evolved to conquer the world left behind by the humans,” Tartar adjusted his bowtie and even redid it as it had gotten messed up when Everest hit him earlier.

“...” Everest didn’t seem to trust Tartar’s intentions (‘Smart cookie,’ Tartar admittedly thought, proud of her distrust and smartness even though they knew they would never harm a human.). She muttered under her breath, glaring at a nearby pebble as she did, “I should’ve stayed in the mountains…”

“The mountains! That’s where you’ve all been hiding, hm?” Tartar placed its fingertips together excitedly, unable to stop a dopey grin from spreading across its metal face.

“They wouldn’t take too kindly to a weird, telephone man..” Everest’s eyes shot back to look at Tartar’s then back at the ground just as she finished, adding, “Not like I’d ever go back there.”

“Oh it won’t matter! I-I can change my form! I take on this form though because it looks most like an Octarian. Shocked you haven’t seen one yet, they’re everywhere underground..”

Everest started to back away at this point. Tartar worried that he was stressing Everest out and making her feel a little overwhelmed with how excited he was. “Humans are nothing special, so why the bouncing and cheer talk?”

“I haven’t seen a human in YEARS, centuries, decem millenniums!” Tartar exclaimed. “You’ll have to excuse how excited I am!” Tartar grabbed Everest’s hand with their own, freezing cold talons. “Hey-! Let go!” Everest yanked back, glancing at her club which laid on the ground just barely out of reach. “Take a chill pill, I’m not going to hurt you! How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Take a hint, Tartar!” Ooooh, she used its name! “If you’re trying to trick me into bringing you back to the village, the answer is no! I’m never going back there again!” …Dang.

“What??? No! I- ha! I wouldn’t do that. Totes wouldn’t. You’re crazy, my dude. Absolutely bonkers, my cold homie!” Tartar tried to laugh it off, hoping to hide his panic. Maybe Everest was a little more observant than he had originally thought.

“Oh please, you started using way more slang, I know a trick when I hear one. You’re not going to the village and I’m not taking you back there unless it’s to help me wipe that place out!” Everest pointed back behind her.

“Humans are so cool though! Why would you ever want to wipe them out??”

“I ran away from that place for a damn reason!” Everest suddenly shouted as loud as she possibly could, snapping Tartar straight to attention, “I’m not going to listen to their culty BS about bowing down to The Leviathan anymore!” Everest swept her hand across to get her point across, “Its spawn stole this planet from the humans of yesterday and I’m not going back so I can hear more of,” Everest laughed, mocking one of the villagers presumably, “‘If we keep sacrificing sheep to The Leviathan, it will allow us to leave this cliffside’. I’ve grown tired of that STUPID CULT!!” Everest grabbed her hair tightly, heaving now. Her eyes shook and she was clearly panicked, causing Tartar to panic a little too, “THEY DON’T–! They- they don’t–!” Everest took a shaky breath, tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked so…suddenly weak. Weak and hurt.

“I-...I’m not going back…” Everest’s voice was weak and her arms dropped to her side. She sniffled again and wiped her few tears, as if hoping that Tartar hadn’t seen anything.

“A cult, hm?” Tartar approached Everest slightly, holding their hand out.

“Yes!” Everest met Tartar’s eyes again, “A cult based around the bile and spawn of The Leviathan here! I don’t ever want to go back, it would be better if they were all wiped out!” Everest slammed a fist into her palm, “The amount of people I can imagine I’ve eaten unknowingly in stew that were sacrificed to ‘The Leviathan’-!!” Everest grabbed her head again, staring out into space again as well. “The Leviathan doesn’t even EXIST!” Everest placed her arms over her head.

“Hmm…” Tartar watched a few more tears slip from Everest’s eyes and trail down her face. “Y’know, maybe you don’t have to go back,” Tartar noticed Everest’s sobs calmed down a little to listen to what Tartar had to say, “I’m willing to give you a sneak peak on my plans. I won’t even lay a finger on you if that’s what you’re scared of…” Tartar slowly and gently took Everest’s hands. They made sure they weren't poking the sharp tips into her hands. Tartar then began to slowly guide Everest over to a hidden hatch in the ground. They would retrieve Everest’s golf club later.

Everest slowly raised her head a little to look at Tartar’s hands and watched wearily before allowing Tartar to lead her slowly. “None of the sanitized octarians should harm you,” Tartar mentioned, reaching down to lift up the hatch in the ground. The hatch led to a white corridor. The Kamabo Co. Labs.

“They follow my orders exactly,” Tartar continued, carefully pulling Everest down the steps and closing the hatch behind her, “If I tell them not to harm you, they won’t.”

“What do you mean by sanitized?” Everest finally looked back up and took her hands away from him.

“Simple, I’ve created a primordial goop that will create the ultimate lifeform! I should’ve let 8 go. No one was going to believe an octarian about the crazy telephone who tried to kill them. I acted in panic and anger. But this time, it’ll be proper,” Tartar grinned and clenched its fist proudly, “No one will figure out until it’s too late. Especially with Mr. Grizz on my side, we’ll restore Earth to its former glory together!” Everest stared at Tartar with an unreadable expression. Tartar decided to pretend that Everest liked the sound of its plan.

The inside of the lab was rather bright and the buzz of talking echoed through the hallways. There were a few signs of struggling, making it clear that not everyone here came here willingly. There were also dried bits of pink ink dotting the walls. When Tartar saw it, he looked disgusted and quickly ordered a nearby Sanitized Octarian to please get rid of it.

Tartar couldn’t believe that CQ somehow missed a spot. Especially such a bright and noticeable spot! Maybe they needed to hire another janitor to help CQ… He was getting rather old after all. Just newly 7.

“What’s wrong with it? I thought the shade was…rather nice honestly,” Everest told Tartar, watching the octarian splat different ink over it. “No I-...” Tartar trailed off, seeing the octarian smile back at it and wander off. Tartar face palmed, “...I’ll just leave it for now. Don’t want to hurt their feelings…” Tartar turned away to keep guiding Everest down the hallway.

“I think Fern would find me even more disappointing than she first thought. I thought that interaction was rather cute!”

A laugh slipped out of Tartar as he commented, looking back at Everest, “Didn’t know such a tough kid could express such feelings!”

Tartar soon guided Everest to a room with a large blender in the middle, full of sanitized ink. This room didn’t require lights. The glow from all the sanitized ink was enough to light the room up. Tartar noticed Everest stumble a little and almost look sick immediately upon seeing the blender. Tartar brushed it off. Maybe it was the smell. There wasn’t much of one but it was at least noticeable.

“...You don’t do what I now think you do…right?” Everest glanced at Tartar with clear sickness on her face. Her voice was still a little weak.

“Well, tell me what you think I do first,” Tartar replied in a rather smug tone. They began to walk backwards, arms behind their back as they did. Tartar suddenly spun around after that and climbed up and sat on the top of the blender. Their legs kicked slightly as they stared down at Everest.

Everest looked a little more sick and worried as she responded, “Uhm..well- there’s a blender for one…uh..” Everest was clearly thinking of…something, “...Please don’t tell me you pick off the octarians around you and…sacrifice them to..” Everest pointed a hand at the blender. Tartar felt a little offended that Everest would think that admittedly.

“Nope! Well- eh, close,” Tartar shrugged before using a hand to gesture to the whole lab, “The octarians around you are ones that have failed their tests. All or most of them have failed their tests with a few of them being weak scraplings I kidnapped from Octo Valley when no one was looking. I select carefully. What you see here,” Tartar stood up, staring down at Everest, “Is a blend of everyone who’s succeeded in their tests! Only the most brilliant and greatest octarians end up here. It’s a blend of the most superior is what I’m saying. No one gets sacrificed. I’m not doing this for some make believe god. I’m doing this to create a lifeform on the level of humans!”

“...Will I end up in there some day…?”

“It’s a truly brilliant pl-...what?” Everest’s question caught Tartar off guard. Tartar looked over the edge, down at Everest. She looked terrified. The soft glow of the ink in the blender reflected in her amber eyes, giving them a burnt sienna shade.

Tartar had to scramble to think of something to say. This human was just full of surprises! “...N-No! Never! Absolutely not! I wouldn’t do that to a human!” Tartar leapt down from the blender, carefully holding Everest’s pale white hands again, “I-I was actually wondering if you’d like to join me!” Tartar grinned, “Take back Earth from those scraps of seafood above!”

Everest drew back from Tartar quickly, it wasn't grabbing her that tightly. “I-I’m not sure I can trust you yet. …What’s in it for me?”

Tartar was prepared for a reply like this. Way too prepared maybe. It wasn’t the first time someone had rejected his incredible offer. (‘3…’ His mind thought angrily) “Well, I doubt you wanna stay sleeping on that chilly and rock solid platform so I’ll make sure there’s a nice, comfy place down here to rest. I’ll make sure you never have to return to your mountain cult, hm…”

Everest started to think.

“I can’t let you leave after seeing this? No, that doesn’t make any sense! You don’t have anyone to rat me out to and you hate the citizens of that cesspool of a city too! Then again…you’re also the first person in years to strike me and land a good hit! You could find-”

“Stop. Stop. Stop. I get it. If I join you, I get a nice place to sleep and never have to go back to that crazy cult,” Everest waved her hand dismissively. Tartar looked over at Everest before they extended their claws a little.

“I mean, all you really needed to mention was getting a nice place to sleep. The mountain was freezing. I’m shocked no one got frostbite at all. At least, not that I ever knew of,” Everest’s bad attempt at a joke got Tartar to snicker. Everest slowly accepted its hand.

“PERFECT!” Tartar gave her hand a rough shake, “We’re in business, kiddo!” Tartar suddenly scooped up Everest and gave her a tight hug which she didn’t appreciate in the slightest!

“Mr. Grizz should be here so we can hopefully discuss more! Don’t worry, he might be a little intimidating at first but the bear’s a big softie! A total pushover at times even! He won’t hurt ya..” Tartar’s hug eased and it set down Everest, beginning to walk away already, “My little snowflake,” Tartar added with a smug smile.

“A-Aye…don’t call me that. We’re not quite at the nicknames stage,” Everest stumbled as Tartar left the room.

“Oh Leviathan, what have I gotten myself into…?” Tartar heard Everest mumble under her breath just as he opened the hatch and saw Mr. Grizz stood on the platform, waiting for his arrival patiently

[dzthenerd490]

File: A Nightmare on Elm Street

SCP#: AAW

Code Name: Freddy Krueger the Nightmare Demon

Object Class: OVM/ Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: The suburban town of [data expunged], Ohio has been destroyed by order of the O5 Council. It has been transformed into a Foundation Area for testing purposes. D-Class are regularly sent here to sleep for testing on SCP-AAW. Should Foundation staff get sleepy at the containment area of SCP-AAW they are to evacuate immediately. They will be sent to one of several mobile mini bases with comfortable bedding outside of the area of effect. Foundation staff that fall asleep within SCP-AAW's area of effect are to be evacuated at once. If they do not wake up within 5 minutes of leaving the area of effect, they are to be declared KIA and their bodies incinerated. There are no exceptions.

Description: SCP-AAW was the once suburban town of [data expunged], Ohio; cursed by SCP-AAW-1. When someone falls asleep inside SCP-AAW's area of effect, their consciousness falls into the domain of SCP-AAW-1. SCP-AAW-1 is the now deceased individual known as Freddy Krugger. He takes on the appearance of an old man with burnt skin, wearing a panama hat, a red and black striped shirt with grey pants and wears has gloves with blades attached to the fingers.

According to the residence during evacuation, Freddy Krugger was a sadistic child killer who was burned by the parent’s victims for his crimes. With a desire for revenge and still filled with the sadistic need to kill, he somehow trapped himself in the dream like realm to kill the residence of SCP-AAW while they sleep. SCP-AAW-1 has complete control of the dreams of his victims, fully able to trap them and kill them however he pleases. SCP-AAW-1 even has the ability to possess his victims, allowing him to kill in the real world and even temporarily leave SCP-AAW's area of effect. However, the longest he has ever been known to do this was 1 hour.

SCP-AAW was discovered in 1984 when a series of anomalous deaths and disappearances were reported in the suburban town where SCP-AAW exists. Foundation Field Agents were sent to investigate only to find nothing; however, after going to bed that night both agents were killed in their sleep. Their bodies were found to be cut up by a clawed being despite neither of them moving from their beds and no one entering the motel they were staying in. It was quickly concluded it was some kind of mental anomaly that can only attack its targets in a certain mental state, like sleep. 

Because of this the town was evacuated and all the citizens were given Class F amnestics as they and their families were relocated to different towns. It was only after extensive testing with D Class as well as interviews with the few who survived that the Foundation was able to know the true nature of SCP-AAW. Unfortunately, the foundation also learned that SCP-AAW-1 has grown furious with the evacuation of the town. This has led to SCP-AAW-1 becoming more tactical and experimental with his anomalous properties. Such as, possession his victims’ bodies and making anyone who enters SCP-AAW sleepy even when not tired.  

Unfortunately, because SCP-AAW-1 can only be interacted with during sleep and always tries to kill whoever he comes across, testing is extremely limited on the Foundation’s end. However, what has proven consistent during testing is that SCP-AAW-1 is unsatisfied with killing in dreams and wants to cross over into our world. It is for this and the unexplainable nature of SCP-AAW’s anomalous properties that it has been labeled Dual Object Class OVM and Euclid. The OVM classification is by no means an exaggeration as its quite possible for SCP-AAW-1 to cross over into our world and possess the same reality bending abilities he does in dreams.

.

SCP: Horror Movie Files Hub

[mikuni14]

Moonlight Chicken Ep 5

So I made my own little private PalmChopper ship once, now I have a cute little JimAlan ship (if they want, they can add Gaipa, the more the merrier!). Seriously, Jim would be better off with a dedicated, caring dude with a good job lol

Both Gong and Alan said what I mentioned earlier, that Wen's unclear behavior and his constant presence (it turns out they still have sex, or at least it happened after the break up!!!) gave Alan hope. What I want to say is how deeply I dislike Wen, it's been a long time since anyone has ever annoyed me as much as he does, and I feel sorry for Jim for the quality of the men he chooses. Jim has so many worries, so many really big problems, and he needs someone strong and supportive next to him. Most of all, he needs someone ADULT like him. Wen is very immature for me, he is weak, indecisive, easily swayed, running away from responsibility, able to lie to his close ones for MONTHS. And he has an extremely annoying tendency to blame everyone else for his decisions, but in a way that makes other people feel shitty, because "the sacrifices has been made." I KNOW THAT KIND OF PEOPLE, and it took me a long time to recognize this manipulation. And Wen does just that: he tells Alan that he ate beef he doesn't like for Alan, that he was with him and slept with him even after they broke up because he felt sorry for Alan. He does it in such a way that Alan comes across as a monster because poor Wen sacrificed himself so much for him - like doing all these horrible things eating disliked foods, living together and sleeping together just to please Alan. No Wen, NOBODY expected this from you, and I’m sure Alan would appreciate your honesty more than your useless sacrifice. Alan is not a violent, abusive criminal, nothing would happen if you said what you don't like to eat and if you just moved out after the breakup, and not lived among the photos documenting your relationship. Wen carried it on for MONTHS. He told his closest friend about the breakup ONLY NOW. And he still twists it around as if Alan is to blame! Does Jim really need someone like Wen?? Especially now that everything is falling apart around him? As soon as things got awkward, Wen stopped coming to work, adding to Jim's worries. How can you create a stable, trusting relationship with someone like that? What does Wen, who is almost 30, do when it's difficult? He wants to avoid confrontation and tries to spend the night at his friend’s house. When Gong reminds him, to act like a fucking grown up he finally comes home, Alan doesn't even confront him, just cares for his wound right away. Because Alan is an adult, which unfortunately I can't say about Wen.

It’s ironic when Wen says, what he would do for love, because he certainly doesn't do a lot and his words reflect what actually Alan does, which is very funny btw :) And that bit about love, which must hurt, because otherwise it's not love is particularly childish, it sounds like from the cheap melodramas . You can clearly see the difference in their maturity when Jim talks about what it looks like from a mature person point of view, which Wen completely ignores and dismisses with a smile.

I haven't enjoyed some BL pairings in the past, but I must say that WenJim is an extremely unsatisfying pair to me.

But that's still nothing compared to this episode's revelation: Heart's parents haven't learned sign language in three years to talk to their own son. Something Li Ming did in 4 months. BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. Also: Dear parents, when your kids are going through a difficult time and say that you are ashamed of them and run away to their room, you do not stay behind and comfort each other and say "the child will be ok", but like Li Ming you run after them to reassure them of your unconditional love. Like this is a BASIC stuff.

Seeing the keyboard in Heart’s room, that he wouldn't hear anymore, those notes taped on the wall, then hearing Jim scold Li Ming, which, again, he did not deserve - ow, that hurt. My poor boys... 🥺

It was a really good episode, in my opinion totally dominated by Alan and Li Ming who literally “ate” every scene just by being there :) I just still can't believe that Wen couldn't make a decision and act decently for 4 months and Heart's parents didn't try to talk to him in a way that was convenient for him for 3 years...Basic stuff, BASIC STUFF PEOPLE. 

[digiblueslush]

So I'm registered to take philosophy of art next semester (it is a gen ed for me) and as much as I am excited, I am somewhat dreading it because of my current existential and identity crisis going on. I wouldn't quite call it a crisis, and I think having a class discussing a majority of whats troubling me would actually help a bit, but the idea of it being a month away is aaaaaaaaa.

Cut because my GAWD so much yap

Cuz currently I'm very confused about everything and (not in the sense of I think I'm better than others) I feel like I have a very deep understanding and thought process compared to other people, yet there are so many answers I cannot satiate my hunger for mainly because I don't like labels but labels are necessary to some degree to find community and it's just like. Bruh

And it's not like depressive or overly anxiety inducing. It's obviously unfamiliar and confusing because I also feel like I've never thought about things as in depth as I have now, and there's discomfort in not knowing, but it's mostly frustration of not being able to share and sometimes even communicate my ideas and analyses of things (I am a CHRONIC oversharer, and I've learned that despite therapy saying to be open and be your true self, going full 100% all the time isn't usually desired. Many times I have a hard time articulating my thoughts into verbal words or just speaking at all, but it's also frustrating to have this super intricate beautiful understanding of something in your mind, and then be able to also communicate it properly exactly as it lays in your head and not have an engaging response, even one just as simple as a follow up question or a comment on a specific area. Anything is better than a sigh and an ok and a topic change) OR the complete opposite kind of frustration of having curiosities that I have no idea of finding more information about or more personal questions that aren't really socially acceptable to ask other people (like a lot of my troubles are about fitting into the societal boxes. I know labels aren't necessary, but at the same time to some degree they are. I'm not straight and I'm not cis, but queer is such a broad term and it doesn't feel like it describes the complexities of my sexuality and gender identity, yet there is no term that does that either without having an inaccuracy. And for personal situations, I really like understanding people at a very deep level, but I don't want everything I talk about with someone to just be deep things. I have a very hard time getting to that level with friends too not because I don't trust them with my shit, I am a completely open book, but out of the fear of making them uncomfortable. Sometimes a line seems unreasonable to me with certain questions, and sometimes I'm being a bit pushy without realizing. And then the insane rejection afterwards even if it's something miniscule like daily plans and what not. And my long term-ish relationship that turned extreme on and off situationship amplified that so much. It's unsatisfying either way and I can't conjure up a way to really improve it)

Holy shit yapping levels catastrophic. This whole philosophical shit started at an enjoyable level when I started a new sleep med, and then exploded everywhere after watching I saw the TV glow and the previously mentioned situationship completely taking a turn with no answers whatsoever. But yeah, just thinking out loud by that one ginger guy I guess :3

[primelaundrylondonsblog]

Revolutionising Hospitality: How Commercial Laundry Services Elevate the Guest Experience

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What Are The Challenges Hospitality Industry Faces?

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In the highly competitive world of hospitality, every smallest detail often makes a significant impact on the guest experience. While you might be offering the best services, if your laundry services are not up to the game, it can cause damage to your reputation.

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Why are laundry services important in the hospitality industry?

Laundry services enhance the guest’s comfort while maintaining hygiene, health and sanitation in the hospitality industry.

How did laundry services become a key contribution to guest comfort?

Laundry services greatly influence guests’ perceptions of their surroundings, impacting their experience and contributing to making them feel more at home. 

What to look for in commercial laundry services for the hospitality business?

Look for laundry services that match your needs and preferences, follow clear guidelines and policies, and offer sustainable cleaning solutions for your business.

This content is originally published on Prime Laundry’s Website: Revolutionising Hospitality: How Commercial Laundry Services Elevate the Guest Experience

[lonespektr]

OCTOBER 15TH AND 16TH HORROR WATCH

Swallowed (2022) & Black Mirror

Two besties

One is living town to become a porn star (ben)

Last hurrah at the crap small town dive bar that had a queer night

Bestie driving him home last stop

Sister didi is very high and her contact makes a drop his problem more or less sister kinda lied about the situation

The connect alice says they got to swallow the product

They say no

Connect insists via gun

It legit doesn't look like drugs it looks like gnnochi

Dom starts swallowing all the stuff

Didi is throwing up in the garage

Dom left to help

And connect made him swallow the rest

Temperature control! She emphasizes

Very low self esteem soon to be porn star who's getting all expenses paid by somebody is taken aback by a Love confession (platonic)

Only reason we haven't fucked is because i love you too much (dom)

Also you're straight

To which Dom responds eh fuck that

Ben oblivious to the world says you should come with me to LA

Rest stop

Very stereotypical redneck doesn't like that they are talking to each other through the stall and also that they are not heterosexual

Stupid 1 (ben) won't just lock himself inside a stall while the bigot yells

Stupid no 2 (dom) decides hes gonna machismo white knight and surprise gets socked in the stomach

Dumbass ben says in LA there won't be bigots

Yea no way this twink survives a day without his lil friend

And of course the thingys he swallowed are not Happy being punched

Dick out! Lovecraftian creatures unknown out( of his butt)

Think they just left the creatures on the bathroom floor

Ironically the non porn star is the ones who's dick we are seeing

Connect meets them at the rest stop and kinda helps?

Explains they are bugs that can get you high

Doms legs aren't working

And he is high and bricked up (we all noticed)

Ahem

They drive to the connect s lil hideaway instead of the hospital

To get the bugs

There is a prolonged porky pig situation

Reiterating this is kinda Bens fault because he is likely getting himself into trouble moving to LA on sketchy porn employment position that's"all expense paid"

And dom white knighting wanted to set him up with some cash on arrival he keeps telling ben the porn job paying for everything is to good to be true

This is an extremely fancy log cabin drug hideout

Um didn't she say that outhouse WASN'T for you buddy

Bossman coming equals expedited times table equals fisting although i think biologically they might still be in his intestines and a stomach message probably more helpful but certainly less gay tension between our besties soo 🤷🏿‍♀️

Also did i miss the part where they took any laxatives because it seems like they didn't

Fisting with no prep is nuts

You gay and you don't have actual lube?

Tense fisting screaming dom being held ay gunpoint with hand up his ass pobreceito

Bossman here

Bit?

Dumbass fighting for his life his friends fist up his ass and he's still mouthing off about the money

Escalated gun threats with a side of gun fellatio

Useless ben too much whimpering not enough fisting

Bossman dismisses connect and as always we see the mid level person was actually doing their best to make sure the lower end randos don't have to even see the boss cause they will kill anybody or do anything

I know they are gonna do it but it's very wack the only brown guy is kickin the bucket

We know he was going to do the sleeping beauty thing but they shoulda had dom friend zone it again

It's deeply unsatisfying for the audience to have someone dying the whole time then they just die it's like a mystery but you never get any answers it's very futile and it never like.. Grows the character, it's just trauma

Oddly enough the bossman comes in justifying why he shot the connect (they eent outside to have him chill off she was trying to get him to a hospital)as if he has to

Already grooming cause he just killed dom

So he needs a new dad

Still haven't addressed that ben has one in him still

Now that two murders are over with bossman gas escalated to sex crimes

Ben is order to strip and bathe

(Dick count is now two)

Which was well my first guess for how to get those buggies out laxatives and bath

One of the abusers where they just do stuff and then say the exact opposite as if that makes it true

Peak white behavior because there's no soap and not even the bath salts promised and he was digging foreign (alien?) Bugs out of a bootyhole but no soap

I just realized they gotta do these scenes in one take because the hair has to be dry

Hes chatting him up in the tub about gay glory days and baby gays who don't know who barbera Streisand is

Literally looks dirty post bath because no soap

I hope the connect would jump in for a final wounded play

Tense game of firt/run/assertive/

Boss mag took bens clothes but gave him his shoes so 🤷🏿‍♀️

Bossmang has graciously offered to give ben 15g

Ben found his moment and scalpel him in the neck

Now he's running

Left dom body, haven't cut to him since

Wup stick shift??

Didn't cut deep enough

Ben is peak useless gay

Didn't snag the keys running off into unfortunately Forrest which is the bossmangs territory 🥴🥴

And yea the thing is still in you

Bolted now it's out

Can't back with the bug bit bossmang and collected dom

And put bodsmang in the outhouse

Black mirror 6x1 - joan is awful

Fancy tech job

Great husband

Texting ex

Oof addicted to chaos

Netflix is streamberry

Lol

Selma hayak is on tv bring her exactly

Like data mining you for a tv show??

Lol everybody is watching it??

The other Netflix shows have title cards with fake names

Mam turn that shit off immediately

Also everyone elses life as well

How do you forget you cheated an hour and a half ago?

There's no way you won't forget that

The episodes literally right up to them watching Netflix

Bizarre real time truman show

She gets up at 7 because she's a tech person who can come into the office at 10?

😫😩

Lol everybody saw it

You let slip

Lol why the fuck would you say that how is it her fault

How is that not the first thing you do sis

I guess just loose commentary on cancel culture and social media being a permeant place where your mistakes are permanent

And terms in conditions in software contracts and of course AI

Water tight,

Not air tight

Lol mam literally cancel your service and ditch your phone mama

Wunmi 💛💛

So many guest stars

And commentary on like reality tv and then not having real tv content

Why would Netflix admit all this on camera

Bold move interesting move she did something crazy

That the actress didn't like so she went to get lawyer

Who obviously said the same thing

So far the message is tech owns your ass

They are teaming up 😂😂

She pulled a Beyonce

Your selma hayak

Thank you

Not a the bride costume

The break into streamberry to break the AI machine

Also articulated how algorithms specifically feed negative content because it drives engagement

You know this would be good as a short story

It's a great concept but it comes off as.. academic because everything is spelled out

You're not the real Joan

Fictive level one

Lol they have just been told they aren't real they are AI

Quantum computer is basically magic

Lol we're in reality reality now?

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary5

today was more or less boring compared to yesterday but really that just means it's a nice day inside.

but look at my knees! those are prints from the socks i was wearing yesterday, they were getting ground on the stage kind of so it left those marks on me, which is pretty fun and honestly not too painful, when i showered it only hurt a little, but the soreness everywhere else is kind of insane, my head feels so heavy, it makes me think of how babies can't support their own heads because their necks are so weak, and somehow my forearms have a soreness that i've never felt before, ever, i think.

today's arc is interesting, i woke up in basically extreme pain and very hungry, and during the morning my gf and i got in mild, i dunno ~thing~ which isn't an argument but us being mutually frustrated less at eachother and more because like, we're hungry and sore so we're on edge. it's the kind of thing i could forget about if i didn't already make a point of remembering that stuff so i can make sure it doesn't happen for those exact kind of reasons in the future. after that the whole day was mostly us doing our own thing, she made gyoza and i made ramen, right now there are dishes in the kitchen that i might do, but it's just the blender from a smoothie. i guess the arc is interesting because it's weird how days can have parts that disappear sort of, unless you keep it in the back of your head, and even then, all that really lingers is that it happened and that you don't want it to happen again but it's so not a big deal that it's like, i dunno, not hugely upsetting. maybe this also has to do with waking up pretty late today, it's 1 am now and it barely feels, idk, over, or whatever. i woke up at 1, which is stressful because i need to fix my sleep schedule for doing vocals this week, but i imagine i can.

speaking of music i mixed vocals a little differently on a song, so hopefully they'll come across a little better, and then i can be finished with this song soon enough when i get the levels all right, they do sound better now, just too loud currently in parts and too quiet in others. i also got more lyrics done which is exciting, and then i replaced a synth thing and layered it in another song and i just sounds way better, it was so unsatisfying to me prior that i was thinking i'd just trash the song.

it's weird doing this every day, not that i wanna stop, i guess i wish i were more forthcoming, but idk, i get hung up on writing out my day, so i can at least remember that better or know it better, or something. but idk, what is it about not being forthcoming that gets to me. idk, i wrote more today too, just a little but that's good, it's headway in figuring a relatively small part out anyways. anyways, i want to write faster, i guess i'll try to be faster right now and not think about what i'm saying, and just talk, to myself, about today or anything. anything is so broad, i'm freaked out by how little i have to say, i feel like i'm trying to make myself seem empty at myself a little and i don't know it, but i don't know what proves substance anyways, and i get in my own way because i feel like i have such little energy, which makes sense i guess, right now my girlfriend is staring at her computer writing something and today i took the trash out and didn't like being outside really but i need to go on more walks i think, but i feel so weird, i dunno, it's so hot, maybe that's become an excuse or something. and i need to talk to my mom but honestly i worry about her even wanting to talk to me. she seems short constantly now, i dunno why, i guess just misery of the regular sort, because of my stepdad. he makes her life sort of awful at home, he doesn't listen to anyone and he talks forever, he's basically trapped her there and i can't do anything but i feel like she thinks maybe i could do something, or maybe she wishes i could because i got out, but as far as she can tell i'm not trying and it's not like i'm supposed to but she wants me to so she could be free a little while or something and i think sometimes she really might decide to kill herself, because she did try before so it's not out of the question. that's not something i can even figure out how to help at this point outside of texting her sometimes but i don't want to be annoying. i also feel bad for my stepdad, like maybe he wants to talk to me too, but he goes on forever about the same things always. eventually, he'll end up bringing up how he almost went to the olympics as a swimmer or something. i don't want to be like that, i don't want to have nothing to talk about except everything that happened to me, i want to be alive right now, and in the future, but i don't even know if i am. i'm basically alive because i think i can finally be pretty now, is that all that possesses me or am i just saying that to be dramatic, or is that a stupid way to pose the question or whatever, i dunno, it doesn't matter or it matters a lot but i'm not ready to parse the fact that i'd ask myself if i'm being dramatic over all the other possibilities. but it's on my mind a lot i guess that i think i'm super histrionic and maybe i think i do everything to be looked at, because if you're looking then i'm like, validated in being where i am right now because there's eyes on me, but i always hate the eyes and i hate being looked at especially like that except sometimes i really like it because it's proof i'm x/y/z or anything else, like being pretty is the perfect example because if someone obviously is staring at me in that way and i have my ass out on purpose, it for some reason feels good to have male attention even though i hate them and that i can sort of sense what kind of porn they're putting me in as they stare (it's i guess really obvious or i feel like it is because they have to be able to tell right) and i dunno, whatever, it's dumb, it's so stupid to be tethered to the need to be wanted like i am, since at least one person really does want me all the time at least, it should be enough but it isn't, and there's never an enough, there's an infinite void when you're seeking attention or at least conceiving of yourself as seeking attention. it's so gross, i hate it, i want to be pretty and i want to feel it as true inside myself, so i don't need anyone else, but we always will need everyone else, i don't actually not want to need anyone, i like depending on others.

tumblr made me go to another text thingy. that's weird. i guess that thought can end there because it was making me feel like a hundred million maggots were all over me which is something i wanna learn how to draw cuz i actually feel that way always, in each way you could imagine it, the miserable/disgusting/erotic+sexy ways, which is probably pretty weird but i mean it earnestly, that kind of stuff has always been put together for me which makes me kind of a nightmare i guess but it's all i have had, it's like my special hole i get to live in, it makes me feel nice saying it, asserting it i guess. like yeah i am horrified always and that's found its way into every part of me and i'm so in love with it.

tumblr talking to me while i was writing, i guess talking this whole way with me cuz it always pops up to tell me it saved my fucking draft like thank you tumblr but you can probably do that and not say it right? or can i turn that off. idk i'm ssstupid like it says in my bio. for some reason elongating my s's makes me happy, it's a pleasure i feel in the seat of my chest, where my voice rattles when i sing sometimes, or the junction of my lungs/throat/ribcage and whatever cartilage and muscles there get wrapped up in the vibrating, my own bloody crossroads. anyways tumblr talking at me makes me think about how nerds from everywhere online come up with these weird sapir-whorf adjacent hypotheses about like, how certain website's cultures shape how you see the world and whatever, they give you a particular outlook that follows you everywhere, essentially inventing grounds for various kinds of digital nationalism. this is ugly and evil stuff i think, it's basically missing how these sites actually work and impress methods of engagement onto us all, and though these differ, they do tend towards similar kinds of content and have all been about accelerating towards those kinds of content. typically, it's always about anger/arguments reinforcing where you are but there's more, that's like, the boring thing, i just need to recall how i conceived of this the other day, it was only an inkling then, maybe a few sentences but a few sentences in your head is connected to like everything ever, or everything that birthed that handful of sentences/meaning/observation. i think what i'm thinking of in particular is twitter, twitter does engender a particular way of seeing/instrumentalizing the world around you to whatever ends that it basically deems most valuable. i guess i can leave thoughts have thought in a diary and return later, i just hope i do return, to this, i don't know why i'm feeling blocked off from the thought i had earlier, whatever, i'll think a little more about it, i should just relax more or something, i dunno why this matters so much to me either. or i know exactly why, i've lived online my whole life, none of these places are really actually cut off from one another, they feed eachother, especially now, reposting is necessary for all this stuff to work or for anyone to feel 'actualized' at least as actualized as you are intended to be by these systems which essentially govern our socialization, and so frustrated by whatever methods they're escaping by moving to the next site or whatever, they complain and react, and absorbing whatever drama cluster they're drawn to, which the content of doesn't matter, it's more the shape of the cluster and what it does, like, twitter controversy is the same in whatever circles, and so was tumblr drama last i remember it, it was all about a few people or a broader idea of the awful in the world rearing its head and you'd gawk, and flood to it in interest, it would fade, but i dunno, i don't care about these controversies that much, i think what's more interesting is the everyday use which involves these things as momentary interests you can gawk at, your morality next to naked people next to funny animals, the stream's always been the same it's just been getting refined, basically. there used to be a utopianism about all this access we have to eachother, it's sad to see people who were like that, and compare it to now, where these places we're essentially forced to, if we want to be in the broader world, because if we only go off to closed spaces where everything is curated, it's only that your stream is narrower (also it's important i think to note the supremacy of the image, especially the photo or the photographic ddrawing (of anime or whatever (obviously i know how i guess hypocritical i can come off pointing this supremacy out since i had 3 photos of myself in the last post (but also don't, because what i'm saying is that we're all victim to this and it's really awful how i feel like i need pictures of myself out there that i think look good as proof of prettiness--

-- + sacrifice to whatever/ whoever might see, and to the libidinal economy that governs the internet's image-sludge currents.)))) anyways asides aside (lol) i was talking about your stream growing narrower, it grows narrower and, was there an and, who knows, it does grow narrower and it prevents you from seeing outside your field of view, which is actually the addictive thing i think, about so many of these sites, you can see outside yourself and it will be fed to you in such a way that it seems strange/annoying or, rarely, kind of good so you decide you like it. it enforces an idea of identity that is about accrual, and what you cannot accrue you performatively burn, with great distance, a torch lit and tossed many miles to an unseen firepit.

this isn't the full articulation though, it's not close, it's not why i think these things are so interesting/frustrating. i guess the fact that this is unanswerable is why i've been approaching it for years. it begs you to look, dirty scopophiliac you are, and by looking / knowing, it (anything) becomes less dirty, dirty meaning alive, i think. you look at a horrible thing, and you know it is terrible, and you are excited by the awfulness, excited meaning agitated into some kind of activity, and becoming active, it's purified/sanctified. everything's been reduced into a kind of sanitary work/gesture, all images pass through and passed around lose meaning become less threatening or gain threat (so you know they are to be jettisoned) and all is defanged by what amounts to our complicity in a daily human tide whose goal is to alleviate boredom with structured programming pointed at random targets and developed by less random but nearly as equally numerous heads. it's interesting how much content is always downstream of a few people, too.

that can be talked about later i guess.