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dez78 · 7 months ago

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Shadows Of the Past -------------------- (Pt. 1)

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Fandom: Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

Series Pairings: Rumarin x OC Fem!Bosmer Valen, OC M!Dragonborn Gavel x Serana

Warnings: 18+ (Adult! Minors DNI) Mentions of suicide to get away. Mentions of panic attack.

Series Additional Tags: Slow burn romance, Strangers to friends, and Friends to lovers

A/N: This is a complete rewrite of my Rising Confidence fic. I'm doing it in parts this time, now that I am more familiar with how Tumblr works. I renamed it to fit better with the plot, I'm going to fix some plot holes from the original, the chapters will be longer and more detailed. Mistakes are likely still in this one, however. Just bear with me.

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Prologue: My subconscious slipped into a series of fragmented dreams. The only vivid memory I have is plummeting from a terrifying height. I remember the searing pain of my lungs burning, the overwhelming despair of perishing and any hope I had left, vanished. Leaving me with a severe hyperventilating panic attack. Then everything went dark.

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Chapter one: Lost Memories and Fateful Meetings

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An Altmer, a Nord, a Khajiit, and an Imperial were walking across the snowy wasteland of Northern Skyrim. The evening breeze was bitter as it bit at their exposed skin.

They walked with three horses, one for the Nord, one for khajiit and Imperial to share, and the last one for the Altmer.

The Nord spoke, first to break the silence.

"We're almost to Windhelm, we can rest there for the night and leave for Solsthiem in the morning."

The snow crunched beneath the Nord's heavy boots, leaving his massive prints in the white sleet.

"Gavel my feet hurt, can't we just stop and camp?" The Altmer whined,

"Rumarin, Windhelm is not too far from here." Gavel replied.

"Actually, I agree with him." The Imperial chimed in.

"Lucien and Rumarin have a good point. It wouldn't be such a bad idea, my friend. Besides, the horses could use a rest too, I think." The Khajjit said.

"Thank you, Inigo." Lucien replied.

"Fine, fine. We'll stop and camp for the night." Gavel sighed. He started looking for a cave or at least a bit of shelter because a storm looked to be on the horizon.

"Look!" Lucien cried suddenly, pointing to the cliffside. The men stopped and followed Lucien's finger.

A woman in the far distance sprinted to the edge of the cliff, it looked like she had been running from something or someone. The men watched as she leapt off the edge.

"By the gods!" Lucien wailed, Gavel was quick to spring into action, he handed over his horse's reins to Inigo, then he started sprinting towards the water.

The woman fell and plunged into the frigid water below, making a sizeable splash from the impact. Lucien, Inigo, and Rumarin followed behind Gavel.

When they reached the edge of the shore, Gavel stripped down to his small clothes, being a Nord, he had a natural resistance to the cold. He had a few minutes before the cold took effect on him completely.

"Lucien, Inigo. Go to that small cave and start a camp." Gavel barked as he pointed, The Khajiit and Imperial were quick to react and hurried up the hill. Gavel took a deep breath and dove into the freezing depths.

Rumarin gathered the clothes on the ground and backpack Gavel left behind.

The man was gone for a few minutes, Rumarin started to worry, he stretched his neck, looking for any signs.

Just then, Gavel surfaced, gasping for air, a small bosmer woman was over his shoulder. He swam with one arm up to the shore.

"Let's go." He rasped as he stood at his full height with the woman still over his shoulder. He looked up and saw the fire in the distance. Rumarin followed behind him with his horse by his side.

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I was in a haze, aware of the voices, but unable to respond. It felt like being suspended between consciousness and sleep, my eyes refusing to open despite my effort. My body felt utterly lifeless. I could hear the men conversing.

"Is she dead?" Rumarin questioned,

"No, she still lives." Gavel replied.

"I would sure hope so!" Lucien cried.

"There's not many Bosmer in these parts of Skyrim. What was she doing out here?" Inigo asked.

"I'm not sure, perhaps a mercenary?" Gavel replied with a counter question.

The heat from the crackling fire enveloped me, followed by the firm pressure of hands on my chest, and then rhythmic, powerful compressions.

My thoughts became hazy, my lungs ached, they felt like a raging fire and begged for relief. I jerked upright suddenly and coughed violently. Expelling water from my mouth as I struggled to clear it out. I felt a large palm clapping my back.

I panted heavily as I looked at the concerned faces around me. I laid back down, I looked up to my rescuer.

"You alright there, lass?" Gavel asked me with soft brown eyes, I nodded my head slowly.

"She's alive! We did it!" I heard Rumarin I looked up at him and the other three.

"It's good to see you awake, miss-" Lucien said, but he stopped. I realized they didn't know my name. That was the only thing I remember. That and the fact that I used bound weapons.

"Valen." I replied.

"Pleasure to meet you Valen, I'm Lucien Flavious, that's Gavel Winfred, Rumarin, and Inigo!" The Imperial chirped cheerfully, I smiled.

"My pleasure." I replied sheepishly.

"You need to get out of those sopping clothes, you'll freeze to death! I think we have some extra outfits." Gavel explained as he got into his horse's saddle bag. He pulled out a tunic and trousers,

"Here you go lass. Get into those dry linens." Gavel told me as he tossed me the dry clothes. I stood up, the Nord was huge, so he was able to block the view of me as I changed.

When I managed to get on the dry clothes, I sat back down and put my wet clothes on the ground. I scooted towards the fire, I held myself in an embrace as my teeth chattered.

"Are you warm enough?" Inigo asked, I nodded slowly as my shivering started to slow down as I warmed up.

"Now tell me lass, why did you feel the need to jump?" Gavel asked me with a sorrowful expression, the words fell from my mouth before I could stop them. I spoke barely above a whisper,

"I needed to die." I say hoarsely. Inigo and Rumarin bend their ears downward as their eyebrows knitted together.

"Oh...how someone could feel like that! It just breaks my heart!" Lucien cried. Gavel sighed.

"I don't know what drove you to that type of insanity lass, but it's not my place to question until you're ready to tell me." Gavel explained solemnly.

"For now, try to get warm and get some rest." He added.

He stood from where he was kneeling, he dressed himself again before going and sitting on the clearing under the cliff overhang. It wasn't exactly a cave, but it drew out the bitterness of the wind.

"I don't want to sound selfish, but do you have any extra food?" I asked shyly.

"Of course! I cooked it myself before Gavel dragged us out here!" Rumarin beamed, Gavel snorted a loud laugh.

"It's not selfish!" Lucien smiled at me.

"Yes. Eat everything you can, you're looking a little thin." Inigo winked at me. I took the bowl of venison stew; I smiled and whispered a shy 'thank you' to Rumarin who only smiled at me.

I blew on the hot stew and slurped it on the spoon. It warmed me to my core, I groaned in relief, I ditched the spoon and slurped from the bowl.

When I brought it down for a breath, my cheeks immediately turned snowberry red. I averted my eyes from the staring men.

"I'm sorry." I say meekly. Gavel raised his brows at me with an amused smirk. Rumarin was usually on people's asses about table manners, but this one time he kept his mouth shut because it was clear that I hadn't eaten in days.

"It's quite alright my friend! I love to do that, but I get in trouble for it!" Inigo teased,

"That's because you get it everywhere you ill-mannered cat!" Rumarin spat, I covered my mouth as I snorted a laugh, which soon turned into a belch.

My eyes went wide with embarrassment as my stomach sunk in humiliation. Gavel threw his head back laughing, Inigo laughed with him, Lucien simply smiled and looked over at Rumarin. He blushed slightly and said,

"I like her already."

I averted my eyes down to my bowl, my own blush growing hotter.

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Later that night, I laid on my side in the bed roll, staring out into the openness of the world. Inigo was curled up with his tail near his face, Lucien was deep in a peaceful slumber, and Rumarin was snoring like an old dwemer machine. I sighed deeply; the fire was still crackling.

"You really should get some sleep, lass." Gavel's soft voice brought me out of my trance.

"Are you not tired?" I ask him. He shook his head,

"I usually stay awake and watch over us. Can't be too careful nowadays with dragons and vampires about." Gavel explains to me.

"I'll get some sleep tomorrow, we'll be in Windhelm by then." Gavel continues, he ripped off a piece of meat from his jerky, he chewed it slowly.

"What do you need to do in Windhelm?" I questioned.

"We're actually on our way to Solstheim for Lucien's expedition. We need to take the Northern Maiden ship in Windhelm." Gavel explained.

"Do you have any weapons?" Gavel asks me as he looks up, I nod slowly.

"I have the bound bow and sword." I tell him, he nods with a slight smile.

"Rumarin will enjoy that." Gavel jested. I chuckled slightly. I found myself drawn to Gavel. Yet, I didn't know why.

"You ready to discuss why you jumped?" He asked me, I sucked in a sharp breath and shook my head.

Truth was, it's like my memories were wiped clean. I only thing I knew was that I needed to jump, from what I do not know. It was unclear to me at this time, and I didn't have the answers.

"Try and get some more sleep, lass." Gavel told me after the long the silence.

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The next morning, I stretched with a loud yawn. I looked around and saw the men gathering the supplies,

"We need that tent, Valen." Rumarin said.

"Right, sorry." I apologized as I got up. Rumarin was quick to start packing the tent, which I assumed was actually Gavel's. He put his backpack on after all of it was packed.

"Alright, come on! We're burning daylight!" Gavel barked at us; he was scouting the road. Lucien and Inigo hurried out, Rumarin and I walked slower.

"So, Gavel told me that you use bound weapons?" Rumarin said, his voice was soft and full of curiosity.

"Yeah, I do. I know it's not a traditional Bosmer trait, but that's me." I shrugged, Rumarin snorted,

"Well, being traditional is boring anyway!" He said.

"What kind of High Elf do you know that is terrible with magic and a jester most of his life?" He asked me,

"And not trained in the arts of the Thalmor or a soldier in the Aldmeri Dominion?" He questions further. I chuckled,

"Not any I've met." I tell him honestly,

"Exactly!" Rumarin beams.

"Or Inigo! There is not a khajiit out there that is the color indigo. He's not traditional either, though that wasn't exactly his choice, with his birth and all. But the way he fights! Not many khajiit his size use heavy armor, swords and shields." Rumarin explained, Inigo looked back at us and smiled.

"It's true!" He laughed, I chuckled with him.

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The walking took most of the day, it was late afternoon when we finally arrived.

"We'll sleep here tonight and leave early in the morning." Gavel explains to us, we nod.

"We've been to Solstheim before, but we couldn't fight back then. We retreated; do you think we can take them now?" Inigo asked.

"Most likely, but I want to do this expedition first." Gavel replied as he got us rooms.

"We have the last three rooms available." The bar keep frowned as she looked at the two elves and khajiit; Gavel mirrored her expression.

"We'll take them." He growled as he threw the coin purse on the counter. We walked up the stairs. The available rooms were marked with parchment. Gavel looked through all of them,

"Alright, pick your rooms. Room five has two single beds, Room six has a double bed, and Room seven has two single beds." Gavel explained.

"Lucien and I will take Room seven." Inigo claimed the farthest room.

"I'll take the double bed. That leaves you two with room five." Gavel said, pointing to Rumarin and I. I blinked a few times as the Nord left to unpack his belongings.

Rumarin went into the room and looked around,

"Well, it's no luxurious suite, but it will do." He said as he set his things down. I had no belongings, so there was nothing for me to unpack. I twisted my fingers nervously.

"Oh, just so you know. I snore really loud, if it gets to be too much, just walk over and shove me off my bed, I'd surely stop then." Rumarin smirks at me, I laugh. I can see the look of accomplishment on his youthful features.

"Are you being serious?" I questioned,

"Oh, very." Rumarin replied.

"Somehow I doubt that, you don't seem like a very serious elf." I said folding my arms across my chest, still smiling with amusement.

"Oh, I'm serious about a lot of things. Like I'm absolutely dedicated to not taking life seriously." Rumarin explained. I let out a snort as I laughed.

"You're funny." I said with a bounce in my voice. I was amused with him. Rumarin smiled shyly.

"Really? You think I'm funny? -Well I mean of course I am!" He said, I smirked.

There was a knock at the door suddenly, I walked over and opened it to see Gavel standing there.

"I wanted to come get you to see if you'd fancy some entertainment before supper later." He explained.

"I could use some fun!" Rumarin beamed, Gavel smirked.

"You're still on a budget." He said, I cocked my brow curiously.

"How come?" I questioned inquisitively.

"Because he spent a fortune on a bet in Iron Hearts and lost almost a thousand gold." Gavel explained. Rumarin pursed his lips.

"The other guys cheated. I had it!" He retorted. Gavel smirked,

"Mhm hm." Was all he said with a cocked brow.

"Let's go." He said as he turned heel and headed out, Rumarin and I followed in tow.

We headed into the dining hall, Rumarin and I sat down with Inigo and Lucien, while Gavel went to the bar.

"So, the name Valen is so intriguing." Inigo was the first to speak,

"I agree, it's a beautiful name, is it like after Valenwood? Not to sound racist or anything." Lucien stammered, I laughed.

"It's quite alright and honestly, I do not know." I tell him with a smile.

"Did you grow up in Valenwood?" Lucien questioned curiously; I blinked a few times.

"I don't have that answer. I only know my name." I replied truthfully. My face contorted as I lost myself in my thoughts. It bothered me that I didn't remember anything of my past.

Gavel's presence pulled me from my thoughts as he came back with mugs of Ale. He set them out before sitting down.

"How long will the voyage to Solstheim take?" I questioned,

"Well, the last time we went. It took three days, so I presume around the same amount of time, depending on the weather." Gavel explained as he chugged his ale.

"Gavel, would you play us a tune?" Lucien quipped gleefully. Gavel's laugh was deep and hardy, his accent particular thick at that moment.

"Aye, that I can, lad." He roared as he chugged his ale down, slamming the tankard on the table. I jumped a bit but relaxed soon afterwards.

"Do you folks fancy a song by the dragonborn!" Gavel howled, the patrons howled like mad dogs, hooting in every which way, slamming their fists on the tables. Clearly it was a yes.

"Aye, Winfred! Sing the one of the mead! What was it? Mogo's Mead?!" A patron requested,

"A fine tune!" Gavel replied as he picked up an extra lute from the bard's taking a break.

'I knew meself a maiden fair with emerald eyes and fire red hair'

'She owned a tavern by the sea and served warm drinks of mellow honey'

'Drink ye merry, drink ye thirsty, bring they crew 'n revel freely'

Gavel had the entire tavern singing with him, I joined in on the fun, singing along as well.

'For one thing we're all agreed'

'That Mogo made the finest mead!'

'Mogo's mead, Mogo's mead, the only drink we'd e'er need!'

'Take a flask and take a seat, and drink theyself a sweety- treat!'

'Mogo's mead, Mogo's mead, the only drink we'd e'er need!'

The patrons clapped and howled when Gavel was finished, he bowed and set the lute aside before sitting down again.

"That was entertaining." I smirked,

"Thanks, lass." Gavel replied. The tavern maid came and filled up his tankard with more ale,

"And thank you." He said taking a swig.

"I think after this mug, we ought to go to the market and get some supplies before it closes." He said after a silence.

"I agree my friend." Inigo replied.

"I could really use some more scrolls." Lucien murmured.

For the next few moments, it was silent as we drank our ale.

"Valen?" Rumarin's voice was curious as he broke the silence, I looked over at him, he had his chin in his hands.

"Why did you jump?" He asked, I just blinked at him trying to process his words. Gavel looked up then,

"Rumarin!" He barked loudly,

"We do not ask those questions so bluntly. She will tell us when she is ready." He was stern. My mouth flapped, but no words escaped.

"I just-" Rumarin tried to speak, but Gavel hushed him. The Altmer frowned.

"What's wrong with wanting to know?" Rumarin finally managed to speak, and Gavel's glare was dagger deep. I was trying to find the right words.

"Rumarin." Gavel's voice was deep and stern.

"Nothing is wrong with it. I just have no answers to why right now. I'm sorry. I-I-" I stammered nervously. I hated the attention on me.

"Suicide isn't taken lightly. It's a sensitive subject, take all the time you need." Lucien explained sincerely as he smiled at me reassuringly. Then he reached out and took my hand in his. I smiled back at him.

"We'll be here for you Valen." He said, I nodded at him graciously.

"I don't know why you are making such a big deal about me asking a simple question." Rumarin retorted suddenly, Gavel was fuming.

"Because! It's not about a simple question Rumarin! It's about respecting someone's boundaries. If Valen wanted you to know, she'd tell you!" Gavel cried.

Suddenly, the loud cry of chair resounded. I watched Rumarin stand up before parading away towards the rooms.

"I'm sorry lass, he can be a real bonehead sometimes. He didn't mean to ask it so forwardly; he meant no harm." Gavel apologized on Rumarin's behalf.

"I appreciate you coming to my defense, but it was unnecessary. It was only a question." I came to Rumarin's defense this time, even though he had already left. Gavel downed the rest of his ale and stood up.

He left the tavern, presumably to get the supplies,

"Sorry for the drama, it's been tense these last couple of days. I'm sure you can understand?" Lucien explained, I nodded slowly.

"I do, but I also do not words put into my mouth. I'm wanting answers as much as you." I replied.

"That's also understandable. Gavel just doesn't like it when Rumarin asks such blunt questions. Gavel is Intune to people's sensitivity. Rumarin isn't." Inigo explained. I nodded my head, indicating I understood.

"Its just certain subjects can bring up painful memories and Gavel is well aware of that. People have trauma and talking about it for some people isn't something most are open too." Inigo continued to explain.

"Including Gavel himself, there was a certain topic that came up and Rumarin was too blunt, and they had a falling out over it, Gavel was particularly snappy." He went on. I nodded my head.

"When Gavel is ready, he will tell you, his story. Just like when you're ready, you'll tell us yours." Inigo concluded.

"We should head to the market, anyhow." He said as he stood,

"Yes, before they close. We need some many things. I have an entire list!" Lucien whined as he too stood.

"Meet us when you can, if you want." Inigo offered as he gave me a gentle smile, I nodded with my own grin. The two men walked out and left me at the table.

I swirled my drink; I sighed before finishing it. I stood up and decided to check on Rumarin instead.

I went to our shared room and found him, angrily unpacking his things from his backpack. I shut the door softly behind me,

"Rumarin?" I say, he doesn't look at me.

"I'm sorry for what Gavel said, he can't put words into my mouth like that." I explained softly.

"How come you get that? And I don't?!" Rumarin wailed suddenly as he spun around. I froze in place, I was baffled.

"W-what?" I stammered flabbergasted.

"They've never talked to me like that!" Rumarin cried as he pointed to the door, I was trembling.

"What do you mean?" I ask with wide eyes.

"They never tell me that they're there for me! They never reassure me! Th-they never tell me it's okay! Gavel thinks I'm the stupidest elf he ever met! Lucien tries to be nice and Inigo tolerates me! They all tolerate me!" He wailed, tears running from his amber eyes.

"Have you ever told them how you feel though?" I ask. Rumarin stopped and sniffled,

"Well no. I thought it was pretty obvious." He said with shallow breaths. I furrow my brow as I finally approach him.

"What is obvious?" I ask gently. Rumarin hides his eyes from me and wipes them with his sleeve.

"My thoughts of worthlessness. I feel like they'd do better without me slowing them down." Rumarin said. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped.

"I know this isn't about me, but I was asking you because in a way, I know how you feel to a certain point. I just wanted to know why and if you answered, then I knew I wasn't alone." Rumarin explained. He huffed trying to find the correct words, I could see him struggling.

"Basically, I wanted to be a hero in a way and tell you that you weren't alone in feeling the way you do, but when they started telling you that they were there for you. It made me feel invisible." Rumarin explained. Then he sighed.

"I'm sorry, I'm making it about me again. I swear I don't mean to." He told me. I didn't know him well, but I knew he was feeling left out.

"It's okay. You know for the little time I've known you; I know you bring a lot to this group. You certainly cheer me up." I admitted to him. I saw his ears twitch and raise with his expression of hope.

"Really? You're not just laughing to make me feel better?" He asked, his voice was bright. I felt my heart thrumming against my chest.

"Yes, you make me laugh because you really are funny, Rumarin. You can't keep thinking you're not." I say to him with a slight smirk. Now the Altmer has a smile from ear to ear, but it faded as quickly as it came.

"Listen. I'm really sorry for what I said too, I didn't mean for it to come out so blunt. I just wanted to know why you would want to end it. You're-" Rumarin said, his blush was furious as he averted his eyes.

"You just don't seem like the type." He said after a silence.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready." I say to him, he nods understandingly. I close the space between us and embrace him, it takes him a minute to reciprocate, but he does. The hug felt like hours.

When we pulled away, the phantom warmth was still there.

"They boys are at the market, figured you'd want to get some supplies before the shops closed?" I suggested.

"I have a few things I need to get." Rumarin replied. We headed out of the tavern then and went to the market, meeting up with the guys. Gavel was buying potions at the alchemist, Lucien was buying scrolls from the mage marketers, and Inigo was purchasing dried meats from the butcher stalls.

Windhelm's size still took my breath away. It was the second biggest city next to Solitude. This was just one of three marketplaces.

"Lassie!" I heard Gavel call to me, I turned and faced him, he gave me a fat coin purse.

"Do me a favor and purchase any arrows the Blacksmith has and bolts if he has any in stock. We're running low." He explained, I nodded my head.

"Thanks, lass." He smiled as he turned, he walked towards the stables. I turned back and headed to the Blacksmith.

The forge was hot as he worked it, his apprentice banged a sword across the anvil.

"What kind of arrows?" I asked Rumarin,

"Inigo likes Daedric Arrows usually, but he'll settle for Ebony arrows too. Depends on what's in stock." Rumarin explained. I nodded as approached the Blacksmith.

"What can I help you with, elf?" The man asked,

"Do have any Daeric or Ebony arrows in stock?" I questioned,

"We got a 100 Ebony and 200 Daedric." The Blacksmith replied,

"I'll take the 200 Daedric arrows and any bolts you have in stock." I bartered.

"Only got fifty steel bolts." The Blacksmith replied,

"I'll take those as well then." I said, handing over the coin purse.

"Let me get those for you." The Blacksmith said as went over to a barrel and pulled out the 200 arrows. He closed the lid and went over to another barrel and fished out the 50 bolts.

He came over and gave them to me. I nodded my head at him, and he return the gesture as he went back to his forge.

Rumarin and I made our way to the stables, where Gavel was seen last.

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We arrived and he was still there, brushing his horse.

"Gavel? We got some arrows and bolts." I said, catching his attention.

"Thanks, lassie." He replied with a smile, he grabbed them and put them on the saddle bag that laid on the ground of the stables.

"I bought you a horse too, Valen." Gavel said when he stood back up.

"She's right over there." He added, pointing to a white mare a few feet away. I was surprised,

"Thank you." Was all I said, he already bought her, so I couldn't exactly reject the offer.

I walked over to the horse; I pet her snout and she nudged my hand. We bonded almost immediately. I saw a tear drop shaped mark under her eye. So, it looked like a she had a single tear running down her cheek.

I decided at that moment, that I'd name her Secunda because of the story Mara's Tear. She was white like the moon too, it fit her well, I thought anyway.

"We should head back, evening is approaching." Gavel said as he finished up his errands in the stables. Rumarin and I followed him out, heading back to the tavern.

"Actually, I wanted to head to the tailor before it closed. I need some warmer clothes." I explained, Gavel nodded and tossed me a small coin purse. I caught it with practiced ease.

"Will you be okay on your own?" Rumarin teased,

"I'll be fine." I reassured him, he smiled and went to catch up with Gavel. While I followed for a short while before turning into the market district.

I went into the tailor's store.

"Welcome! What can I get for you?" The merchant asked,

"I'd like something warm." I replied, looking at the clothing racks.

"Got plenty of it, anything specific?" The merchant said.

"I like this fur-trimmed outfit and these matching boots. I'll take these. As well as that coat and fur hooded cloak." I answered, pointing and grabbing.

"Very well, that will 150 septims." I gave him the small coin purse Gavel gave me, there was no more than 200 in that purse. So, it was plenty. I took the clothes and headed out.

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By the time I arrived, supper was being served to the patrons.

"I would like something light, like smoked salmon with a side of roasted potatoes and onions. As well as some Honningbrew mead." Rumarin quipped at the tavern maid, she nodded her head.

"I would like some of that hearty beef stew, with some bread and some mead with juniper berries, Susanne." Gavel smiled.

"I would like something light too. Maybe some salmon steak and grilled leeks with Pearl tea, please." Lucien was polite.

"I would like some mead and some warm stew as well please." Inigo added.

"I would like some clam chowder with some bread, roasted mushrooms, and Bitter Steppe tea, please." I said as I sat down, Susanne nodded at me.

"I will get that out for you as soon as I can." She smiled politely as she hurried towards the kitchen.

The bards played some upbeat tavern songs to keep the patrons busy while they waited for their dinner. Some danced, some drank ale, some bet their gold in Iron Hearts, and some played drunken wager.

Other patrons consisted of writers, scholars, and older fisherman.

Lucien took out his map of the dwarven ruin he found in an old tome. He set it out in front of himself,

"What do you think we'll find in there?" He questioned inquisitively.

"Likely what we find in every other dwarven ruin." Rumarin replied.

"Giant, steam powered machines that want to murder us." He added.

"I honestly think this one is different, Rumarin." Lucien said with a voice of confidence.

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The food was brought out and set out in front of us as well as our drinks.

"Thanks, lass." Gavel smiled politely.

"My pleasure, enjoy." Susanne said as she hurried away again, presumably to get more food for the other patrons.

The plates and bowls were passed out to their respective owners. Gavel past forks and spoons around.

I looked down at my chowder and I felt the warmth in the pit of my stomach, I licked my lips and grabbed a healthy spoonful. I forked some mushrooms into my already full mouth, before tearing off a piece of bread and shoving it in greedily.

I looked up with bulging cheeks, they immediately heated up in embarrassment, Lucien was holding his fork delicately to his mouth, Rumarin was properly cutting his salmon, Inigo had his own spoon in his mouth, and Gavel was holding his spoon still.

"My goodness." Lucien breathed,

"Slow down, lass. You have all evening." Gavel told me with sincerity. I chewed my food, my jaw was working overtime as I chomped down, I smiled innocently as I wiped away the chowder slipping from the corner of my mouth.

I sank into my chair and ate slowly after that, still embarrassed. I couldn't restraint myself, I didn't know how long it had been since I had eaten.

Gavel dug into his beef stew, tear off huge chunks of bread before dipping it in the juice of his stew. I opened my tea and poured it into a goblet. I took a sip before eating some more chowder. I tore small pieces of my bread and dipped it. Then I'd eat a forkful of mushrooms, before gulping on my tea again.

I did this rhythm for a long while until my food was nearly gone. Since, Rumarin and Lucien had smaller portions, they were finished with supper first.

"Oh, Gavel. Since we are going to Solstheim. Do we have bounties?" Inigo questioned as he ate his stew. Gavel with a mouthful, nodded and grabbed the satchel at his feet, he handed it over to Inigo.

The khajiit took it and took out the most recent letters. He searched through them while we ate.

After some time of searching, Inigo only found two bounties located in Solstheim. By this time, I had finished my dinner as well as Gavel and Inigo.

Gavel took out his map of the other continent and laid it across the table, avoiding the crumps and spills of stew and mead.

"So, I have those marked already. We must have been there a few times already." Gavel explained as he tapped on his charcoal circles. I stacked my dishes nicely before standing up.

"Where you going?" Lucien questioned,

"I want to get a bath before we turn in for the night." I replied as I gathered my newly purchased clothes.

"Alright then. Have a good bath, Valen." Lucien smiled,

"Thanks." I replied softly as I headed out, leaving them to their map.

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When I finally had my bath drawn, I sank into the stone tub. I sighed in relief, my aching muscles finally relaxed and all the intensity I felt, sizzled into the warm water.

I tilted my head back as I rested my arms over the tub. My eyes were closed, and I felt the warm water washing over me as I crossed my legs.

I slid into the tub, submerging my entire body underwater, leaving my head a float.

I laid there for a long while, before washing up. It was a quick lather and rinse, then I got out, dried off, and slipped into my fur-trimmed outfit and shoes. I grabbed my coat and cloak, heading out into the hall and towards the rooms.

I was drying my hair as I walked into mine and Rumarin's room, he was already turning in. I could hear Gavel upstairs getting the patrons riled up with another song.

"What are you reading?" I questioned when I noticed the book in Rumarin's hands.

"Don't get too excited. I don't usually read books unless they have pictures. This one though, I like. It's the Yellow book of Riddles. I love Riddles and Mysteries." Rumarin explained as he sat back against the bed, his legs crossed as he read.

"Oooh, that sounds exciting!" I chirped, Rumarin looked up at him, his eyes skeptical.

"Do you want to try one?" He asked,

"Go ahead." I replied as I sat across from him in my own bed.

"Okay. A Bosmer was slain. The Altmer claims the Dunmer is guilty. The Dunmer says the Khajiit did it. The Orc swears he didn't kill the Bosmer. The Khajiit says the Dunmer is lying. If only one of these speaks the truth, who killed the Bosmer." Rumarin read the riddle out loud to me.

I sat there for a moment, retelling it in my head. Rumarin smirked, thinking he had stumped me.

"Ha! I got you!" Rumarin snickered,

"The Orc." I answered.

"What?" Rumarin questioned, slightly disappointed.

"It was the Orc." I said again. Rumarin blinked at me.

"He was the only one that wasn't blamed, yet he swore he didn't kill the Bosmer, therefore he is guilty, and was the one who slayed the Bosmer." I explained.

"Oh, rubbish!" Rumarin cried,

"Are you mad?" I teased playfully. Rumarin crossed his arms.

"Can't you at least pretend to be clueless." He huffed.

"Honestly, I wouldn't have to try hard." I laughed; I saw a slight curve on Rumarin's mouth.

I curled up and put the blanket over my form, getting warm under the furs. Soon I drifted off.

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Later on, that night my face was contorted with a mixture of emotions as my subconscious was plagued with vivid images of my parents.

'Bound weapons? Conjuration magic is not the traditional Bosmer way. Why can't you use bones to make your first bow like your family did.'

'I feel better connected with Conjuration, plus the weapons are easier to carry and I can still learn with them!'

'Nah bother, you're a disgrace. Fine, used the blasted Conjuration, but don't expect your mother or I to teach you. You're on your own.'

'But papa!'

'Don't speak to me in such a way, you're no daughter of mine. You're a disappointment. Per usual.'

Just then it went pitch black and I was in what looked like the forest. I was running suddenly and didn't know why. All I knew was that I needed to get away. I sprinted through the forest as fast as my legs would take me. I jumped over fallen logs and splashed through the mud. I dodged branches and pushed them out of my way.

Suddenly, I came to an end, I was panting, and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I looked back and saw nothing, but I definitely knew something, or someone was coming. I knew I had no choice as I looked at the crashing waves below.

I did the only thing in the moment I knew how to do. I jumped. I felt gravity pulling me down quickly, then I plunged into the frigid water. My eyes widened and I gasped for air, in some attempt to save myself. My lungs burned; an overwhelming despair overcame me as I thought about perishing. The water was dark and freezing, there was no escape. Then complete darkness.

I sprung awake in a cold sweat, panting heavily. I blinked a few times to adjust my eyes and realized it was only a nightmare. I sighed a breath of relief. It was so vivid, it's like I had just relived it.

I put my face into my palms and regained my breathing. I was hyperventilating again. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and laid back down. I tried to sleep again, but it didn't come so easily.

Rumarin hadn't stirred, he was sound asleep in the bed just a few feet away from mine. I sighed as I covered up. It was strange however, I felt like I had that dream before.

I had only just jumped, a couple days ago. Yes, but I could swear on all the gods that I experienced that dream before my demise. Almost if I knew it had been coming all along. It wasn't like a dream at all, more like a vision.

Only now, it's like I've had a complete memory wipe and don't remember anything from my past. My thoughts consumed my mind until the morning.

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When Rumarin woke up, he said his hellos and noticed my state, almost immediately afterwards.

"Are you okay?" He asked, sitting up.

"Yeah, barely slept. Had a nightmare." I spoke vaguely, I didn't want to tell him just yet, not until I understood it myself.

Rumarin didn't press on and got up, I did too. We gathered our things and headed out of the tavern. Meeting up with the other guys at the front door.

"Ready?" Gavel questioned his crew, we all nodded in response. Gavel opened the door then and went outside, we followed in tow.

We headed down to the stable and got our horses, leading them to the Northern Maiden.

It wasn't a massive ship, but it was big enough to fit a small stable and cabin aboard.

"Welcome aboard, where are you headed?" The captain asked.

"We want to go back to Solstheim." Gavel replied.

"As you wish. Make yourselves comfortable." The captain said.

We headed into the cabin of the ship and made ourselves at home. Most of the cabin was taken up by the ship's crew, so there were only a few bunks left. We chose our bunks and unpacked our bags. While our three-day journey began.

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Author's Note: Chapter two is coming next! Stay tuned!

Author's Note 2: I believe it's ready. Mistakes are bound to happen, but I wanted to get it out there. If you see any mistakes or plot holes, let me know!

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