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loving-barnes · 1 year ago

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LOGAN HOWLETT - BONDING MOMENT

A/N: Here I am, once again, with another chapter. Chapter 8, my friends, is here and it is still sweet. I will not spoil anything, just read and enjoy.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Warning: explicit thoughts?

Summary: The students get to know Y/N a little more.

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for mature audience.

Words: 3700+

Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine. This is set in AU.

A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Seven

LOGAN HOWLETT - BONDING MOMENT

Nothing interesting had happened since that night at the bar. Logan helped Y/N get back to the school and to her room. He laughed at her silliness, which caught him by surprise. Logan wasn’t the guy to laugh around. He was usually stoic and grumpy. But there were some lingering touches here and there. And yet, their bodies were like two opposite magnetic poles, pushing away. The moment she closed the door, he sighed - relieved he didn’t do anything stupid but also sad that the night was officially over.

The days went by. Logan and Bobby joined the Professor in Washington for another conference. The President wanted to meet Charles during a banquet. They were gone for a few days. Jean and Scott were still away with Remy and Hank. The school got quieter when some students went home for the weekend. There were only some kids that had a supportive system back home. Many of them were alone in this cruel world.

On Sunday, the day before Y/N became a teacher, she and JJ were sitting outside on a bench near the pond. She took him out to spend some time with him. He snuggled closer to her side. The weather got colder. Heavy clouds appeared in the sky. Halloween was approaching, and the students were excited about the celebration.

“It’s going to be so much fun,” Jerome said with a wide smile. “I’ve heard you have to make your own mask. It’s a contest, you know?” he was ecstatic. “Everyone does it. The best masks will get some rewards. It’s mostly candy. That counts as a prize.”

“Wow,” Y/N said with a chuckle. She was glad that the boy was happy at the school. “Have you been thinking about what you want to become? Or would you like some suggestions?”

He shook his head. “No, I think I know what I want to be. I’m not telling you. It will be a surprise.”

“A surprise, you say? Alright, don’t tell me anything. I want to see what you will make,” she patted his head. “Otherwise, are you happy here? Do you have everything? Do you need anything?”

He thought about it for a second. “I have everything. They gave me clothes and school supplies. Jean told me to ask for anything. But I can always come to you, right?”

“You can always come to me, Storm, Kitty, or Logan,” she said. “You can even see the Professor and talk to him. He’s the one who created this school. He’s a good man.”

JJ nodded. “Listen,” he turned his head to look at her face. “A few nights ago, I think I heard you giggle in the hallways in the middle of the night.”

Y/N blinked, and she bit the inside of her lip. “Yeah,” she nodded and cleared her throat. “I went out with some of the teachers. We had a lot of fun that night.” It was half true. She omitted the part where she got drunk.

He poked Y/N into her shoulder. “I’m eleven, I’m not stupid,” he said. “You were with Professor Logan. I heard you talk. Well, you laughed more than you talked.” That was true. Logan walked her back to her room. They talked, she giggled, and then the night was over. “By the way, he’s awesome.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, nodding. “Does Logan teach you something?”

“We have one history lesson a week with him. I like the subject a lot. History is fascinating. Plus, he knows so much about the First and Second World Wars. He gives us so much information and details. As if he was there. He’s strict, and we cannot misbehave, but I enjoy the lesson.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she said with a smile. A shiver ran down her spine. The wind got colder. “Let’s head inside and have a cup of tea. I think it’s going to rain. Or Storm is having a bad day, and she changed the weather to fit her mood.”

JJ laughed. He stood up first, grabbed Y/N’s hand and helped her up on feet. He held her by the forearm as they walked inside the school. When she scanned his face again, she noticed the bruises were healed and almost invincible. He looked healthier. It made her heart warm.

As they walked down the hallway, Y/N heard a whimpering sound. It was soft, girl-like. She frowned. Instead of going to the kitchen, she followed the sound. The boy was confused. He opened his mouth to ask where she was going, until he heard it too.

Y/N walked to the lounge room, where she found a young girl sitting on the window still, silently crying. She was JJ’s age. She had curly hair and glasses on her nose. Her skin was light brown.

Carefully, Y/N approached her. She didn’t want to scare her. “Hi,” she used a gentle voice. “Are you alright?” The girl's puffy brown eyes looked up. She shook her head and continued to cry. “Oh, come here, sweet angel,” she said. Her arms spread, and she waited for the girl to accept her hug.

Surprisingly, the girl was immediately hidden in her arms, weeping into Y/N’s leather jacket. Y/N stroked her curly hair lovingly, letting her take her time. JJ took a seat on the couch and silently watched.

“You can talk to me if you want?” Y/N said after another minute. “Did something happen? Has anyone been mean to you?”

The girl's tiny fingers brushed away the hot tears. “My parents haven’t visited me for three months now,” she confessed. That broke Y/N’s heart. “They brought me here, and I never saw them again.” Her voice was low, sad. “They hate me for what I am.”

That statement broke Y/N’s heart. She understood the girl’s pain. Her loved ones gave up on her because she was a mutant. “What’s your name?”

“Nova,” she said. Her arms were tightly wrapped around Y/N’s torso, holding her close.

“Nice to meet you, Nova,” Y/N said with a smile. She rested her head on top of the girl’s. “Tell me, what is your mutation?”

“I, uh,” she hesitated. “I can scream very loudly,” she said. “It can damage your hearing.”

Y/N tilted her head to the side, thinking. “Sonic screaming,” she said out loud. “That is an interesting mutation, Nova. You have powerful vocal cords, and I’ve never met a mutant with this ability.” It wasn’t a lie.

Nova lifted her head and finally looked at Y/N. “You think so?”

“Yes,” she said with a brighter smile than before. “Every mutation is unique, and so is yours. With learning and more information, you will master your ability and know how to properly use it. All you need is time, patience and practice.”

Y/N’s goal was to shift the girl’s attention to something else. It was evident that Nova was agonising over her parents’ neglect. That’s why Y/N wanted to gain her trust, and maybe she’d feel more comfortable around her.

“What is your mutation?” she asked.

“I can create protective forcefields,” Y/N explained. “I am still trying to learn more about my mutation. I’ve heard the term Flyrokinesis, but some call it Flyrogenesis.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Yes,” Y/N nodded. “Flyrokinesis means you can only control force fields. When you can create them, it’s called Flyrogenesis. I can do both.”

“That’s so cool,” Nova sighed. “You can do so much good with your mutation. I only hurt people,” she said. Nova pushed away from Y/N but remained sitting by her side.

Y/N chuckled a little. “Well, it’s not as it seems. I hurt with my ability, too. It was unintentional, but it happened. That is why we need to practise and learn about our mutations. So we won’t hurt people again. We can use our abilities to do good.”

“My mutation is elasticity,” JJ joined the conversation. He picked the right time. Nova’s eyes turned to him. “The people that fostered me thought it was disgusting,” he said. “Now I think my mutation is unique.”

Y/N’s eyes moved to the boy. This was new information. He had never said anything about his parents before. Now she knew why. He didn’t have parents. He was in foster care. Even there, he wasn’t loved. Y/N wanted to run to him and hide him in a tight, loving hug.

“My parents have sent me here and never came to see me or take me home for the weekend,” said Nova. “I deafened my father in one ear,” she confessed. “He never looked me in the eyes again.” And she started to cry again.

“Nova?” another soft voice said from the entrance to the room. “Are you okay?”

Y/N found three other girls standing at the door, watching them. The oldest girl could be thirteen. All three were different. One of them had cat-like irises. The mutation must have caused it.

“Yeah, I’m just talking to…” she turned to Y/N, not knowing her name.

“My name is Y/N. This is JJ,” she pointed at the only boy in the living room. “Would you like to join us?” she showed at the empty couch.

The girls walked inside and sat together. They introduced themselves, too. Jamie, Olivia and Kyra were friends with Nova. They all shared a room on the second level. At least these girls were the support Nova needed.

Y/N and Nova moved to sit next to JJ. “You are the new professor?” Olivia asked Y/N.

“Oh,” it caught her by surprise. Did the Professor announce it already? “Yes. I’ll be teaching English and Literature starting tomorrow. I got a few classes a week.”

“Really?” JJ’s eyes brightened. “That is so awesome!”

Y/N nudged his shoulder. “Thanks, buddy. I’ll be teaching you too, you know? We’ll have literature together on Tuesday and English on Thursday.”

“You haven’t been here long, have you?” Olivia asked. Her long blond hair was braided from the top of her head. She had colourful bracelets on her wrists. “I’ve been here for a year and noticed you a couple of times these past few weeks.”

Two teenage boys walked into the lounge room. They stopped in their tracks when they found the place occupied. “Sorry,” one of them said. “We thought we’d be alone here at this hour.” Before he could finish it, another two boys walked in.

Y/N raised a brow. Already ten people in the room. “What time is it?” she asked no one in particular. It took another five minutes, and another six children entered the room.

“You’re the new teach’,” one of the older boys pointed a finger at her. “Cool,” he smirked.

“I guess the word is spreading faster than you know,” Y/N mumbled under her nose.

“No, she’s the one who saved Jerome,” a girl said as she sat in an armchair. She was at least fifteen years old.

“I guess you have a reputation, Y/N,” JJ laughed when the kids around them started to talk about Y/N as if she was not there.

The woman raised her hands into the air to stop the debate. “If you want to know more, you need to ask the source - that’s me. Please, stop discussing me as if I was not here, okay?” One after one, they nodded their head. “Great. Let’s start again. My name is Y/N. Do you have any questions?”

“What is your mutation?”

“Is it true you will be our new teacher?”

“Did you throw Professor Summers out of the window a few days ago?”

That last question made her laugh. Obviously, they knew something happened. This was the perfect opportunity to talk to the students and know them better. She lived there for some time now. It would be nice to be part of their lives, be there for them. As she kept looking at it, she realised all these children stayed at school for the weekend. Some of the faces were familiar to her. They never left the school the whole time she lived there.

They all had one thing in common - their families gave up on them the moment they discovered how different their children were.

A frown appeared on her face. “Do you ever go home?” she asked gently. She wanted to know how many of them still had their parents.

They all shook their heads. “No,” said one of the oldest boys present. “Some of us have families on the other side of the states. Most of us are here all the time. They gave up on us.”

“I’m so sorry,” Y/N sighed. “I know how it feels to be pushed away from your family. Mine got rid of me, too.”

“Sure,” one of the girls scoffed.

Y/N’s eyes found hers. “They locked me in an insane asylum because I… I killed my own little sister with my mutation,” she admitted out loud. “It was the first time I used the ability. Until that moment, I didn’t know I was a mutant. My mutation is forcefield manipulation. Even though it is a protective ability, I managed to kill my sister with it.”

It was hard to admit it in front of a group of children. Y/N concluded it was better to tell the truth than to lie. What if Scott would open his big dumb mouth, and the kids would fear her? No more lying.

“My parents put me into an insane asylum because of it, and they never came for me. Well, I believe they’d rather see me dead. I escaped the asylum and joined a group of terrible people. My decisions were not the best. I’m not proud of that part of my life.”

“Y/N was locked with me in a lab where they experimented on us,” JJ chimed in. The kids turned their gazes at him. He sounded like a grown man. “She was already there when they brought me in. I helped her escape. Later, Profesor Logan and her came for me and saved my life.”

The silence that surrounded everyone was heavy. Some kids lowered their eyes to the ground, others closed them. They didn’t know what to say or if to say anything at all. The topic was heavy. Some could relate, and others were lucky to not experience anything tragic.

“I get how you all feel,” Y/N said. “I know what it is like when the people you love get rid of you like you’re an old, used toy. I understand you feel betrayal and pain, even anger.” Her hand found Nova’s hand, and she squeezed it reassuringly. “But look where you are now. You all ended up in a school for mutants, where you’ve been given a second chance for a better life. This place is your home. People here care and want the best for you. I dare to say that this is your new family.”

More silence followed. “I know I’m still a stranger to you, and you don’t trust me. That’s okay. Teachers like Storm, Jean or Kitty will be there for you. Please, just know you can talk to me, too. I want to help in any way that I can and know.”

Once Y/N finished talking, Nova wrapped her arms around Y/N’s waist and hugged her tightly. When JJ saw it, he did the same from the other side. The woman wrapped both arms around each child and smiled. The love she felt was immense. Before she knew it, more children approached her. They all huddled together in a big, warm hug. It was a beautiful gesture.

Storm walked around the school, checking on the students. She stepped into the lounge room. Her eyes landed on the scene before her. She had to smile. Storm was lucky enough to witness the group hug.

“What’s going on?” she asked softly.

Slowly, the children moved from the huddle. They went back to their sitting spots again. JJ kept his arms around Y/N while Nova grabbed Y/N’s hand and held it tightly.

“Just bonding,” Y/N said with a smile.

Storm’s lips reflected the smile. “That’s nice. I’m glad you are finding a way to their hearts.”

Later that day, The Professor returned with Logan and Bobby from the banquet. They were back after a few days away, and both men couldn’t be happier about their return. Bobby missed Kitty. They’d been texting here and there throughout the time. Logan didn’t have the guts to call or text Y/N. He rarely used his phone. Also, he thought it would be weird. Charles could feel Logan’s faint anxiety crawling around him. He knew the reasoning behind it. The man’s thoughts weren’t quiet.

They drove to the school, glad this ‘mission’ was over. They didn’t expect to hear loud music roaring from the building. Logan tilted his head to the side, frowning. “Is that coming from the school?” Then they heard singing. It was like a live concert. “What’s going on?”

Logan parked the car in the garage. They helped Charles out of the car and into his wheelchair. The singing got louder. It echoed around the garage. The students were singing a familiar song. Charles smiled and chuckled. When was the last time something like this happened?

All three went from the garage and got to the main level. The song changed. After a brief silence, the singing began again. The students were crammed in the lounge room, dancing around and singing as loud as their voices let them. When some kids noticed the Professor, they made a passageway for him and the other two teachers.

Logan’s eyes widened in surprise. He found Storm, Y/N and Kitty in the middle of the room, surrounded by students, jumping and screaming words to the song playing.

If you could see that I’m the one who understands you. Been here all along, so why can’t you see? You belong with me.

It seemed everyone knew the words to that song. All three women swayed their hips to the music, jumping around like all the students. They were happy, enjoying the moment. Y/N grabbed JJ’s hands when she started twisting him around. Her face was bright and cheerful. Even the boy was thrilled.

She wears high heels. I wear sneakers. She’s cheer captain. I’m on the bleachers.

This part was powerful. As if everyone wanted to scream the chorus as loud as possible. No one cared that the headmaster was present. But Charles had a big smile on his face. Yes, they organised events for the students, but this happened out of nowhere. It was special. It was a bonding moment for everyone.

“I love this song!” Bobby shouted, bobbing his head to the song. He started to sing the lyrics.

Storm draped an arm around Y/N’s shoulders while Y/N wrapped an arm around her waist as they sang the song. One of her hands remained on JJ. They laughed at their silliness. Kitty found Bobby walking to her. She got excited and ran into his arms, and they swayed together to the song.

Storm discovered Bobby a few seconds later. She stopped dancing, and her eyes found Charles and Logan. Her arm fell from Y/N’s shoulders, and she made her stop dancing.

Y/N gasped. Her face heated up, and she quickly turned around to turn off the music. She had a remote control to the stereo. When the song was abruptly stopped, the students whined. It was evident they were displeased by the interruption.

“Professor,” Storm said his name nervously. “I’m sorry for this. We got carried away.”

Charles laughed. “Oh, Storm, no need to apologise. I like that you all have so much fun on a Sunday afternoon. You should continue to have more fun.”

Y/N was breathing heavily. Her chest was rising and falling visibly. It was quite a cardio. Her eyes met Logan’s, who had a grin on his face. He leaned against the nearest wall, crossed his arms over his chest and kept staring. When he licked his lips, Y/N’s eyes followed his every movement.

“Well, the magic of the moment is kind of gone,” Y/N said. “But we had good two hours of this fun, right?” she turned to see the kids. They shouted affirmations. Some of them whistled.

“Okay, everyone, it’s time for us to end this session,” Storm raised her voice so everyone could hear her. “Thank you for being here and having fun. It’s time to get to your rooms and prepare for tomorrow.”

Logan watched as Y/N hugged a few younger kids. First, it was JJ, which wasn’t surprising. Then, it was two other girls. That sight made his insides tingle. He felt love radiating out of her. It made him smile. When they separated, Y/N’s eyes were back on him.

He took a few steps forward while greeting some of the kids. “Are you trying to bribe them to like you?” he mocked her.

“Are you jealous I’m giving my attention to them and not you?” she poked his bicep when Logan was close enough. “Or should I bribe you too?”

“I’m not that easy, princess.”

“What if I tell you I sneaked in some beer?” she raised her brows.

He was impressed. “You got me. Wait, you want to get drunk again?” he asked. “I won’t be taking care of your ass next time.”

Y/N squinted. Her body was ready to jump at him. Not because she was angry at him. She wanted to kiss that smug smile off his face. Last night, she imagined what his hands would feel on her body, how he would taste and feel. She pictured his hands exploring her naked body, his lips between her legs.

“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself,” she said. There was a teasing smile on her face. She walked past him and found JJ talking to one boy. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

Logan watched her leave the lounge room with the boy. His mind was spinning. His eyes lowered and remained on her ass, watching it move with each step she took.

A hand tapped his shoulder. Bobby grinned at Logan. “You got it bad, my friend.”

“Shut up.”

#Logan Howlett x reader #Logan Howlett x female reader #Wolverine #Logan Howlett #Wolverine x reader #Wolverine x female reader #Marvel fanfiction #X-men fanfiction #Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

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roonotrue · 2 months ago

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The 12 Days of Twisted Wonderland - Prologue

Twisted Wonderland Writings Masterpost

Prompt: While talking with your fellow freshies about their plans for winter break, you get a bit homesick and tell them about some of the Christmas traditions of your world. So, they decided to look for a way to make NRC feel a little more like home to you before they all leave for winter break!

Reader: GN reader - They/Them pronouns and reader is called 'MC/Prefect.' MC is also directly implied to NOT be religious but still celebrates Christmas because... Lots of people who aren't religious do (me). Christmas is just awesome guys. And if you are religious then just ignore that part.

Included Characters: The Freshmen (Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Ortho, & Sebek), + Grim!

Warnings: Mild Swearing.

~~~

The chill in the air is nice. Not freezing cold just yet, the first snow of the season has yet to arrive, but with Halloween officially over, the rapidly growing chill in the air is a sign that winter is just around the corner.

Normally, there is a budding excitement inside your chest, almost instinctual, every time the weather starts to get colder. Looking forward to the holiday season. Friends, family, traditions, gift-giving, festive food, lights, colors...

Christmas.

In your world, it's a holiday based on a religion. A religion that doesn't exist in Twisted Wonderland (or at least not at NRC), hence, no one really knows any of the traditions surrounding it.

There is a ton of decorating for the winter season, though, that makes the whole place look like a Christmas Hallmark movie.

Maybe decorating things with lights, ornaments, colorful tassels and tinsel, pine branches, and holly is just a... Universal winter impulse- No matter what world you're in.

If you didn't know any better you'd think Christians just made up their religion to justify their decorating impulse every winter.

That said, growing up, you learned very early on, that just because the Christians made the holiday, didn't mean you had to be religious to celebrate it.

And you celebrated it every year back in your world.

But now... You'll be alone during winter break. Well, you'll have Grim to keep you company, and whatever chores Crowley forces your way to keep you occupied...

So instead of holiday spirit or Christmas gifts, you get seasonal depression this year... Great.

While everyone around you is buzzing happily, excited to get to go home soon. Gee, if only you could do that. (A dry sarcastic comment that you scoffed at Crowley yesterday and he simply coughed awkwardly and shuffled off to do absolutely nothing useful. Like usual.)

You try not to let it show on your face though, you don't want to be that guy dragging everyone's mood down after all.

Which works, for the most part. Until-

"Jeez, MC, what's up with ya today? You've been all sad-faced like a kicked pup' since we sat down." Epel is the first to notice.

You, and your freshmen friends (though Sebek might argue about the 'friends' part) all sat together to eat lunch outside, wearing a few extra layers to protect from the occasional cold breeze, but other than that it's quite nice out.

Clear sky, autumn leaves scattered on the ground, just chilly enough that if you breathe out real hard you can see your breath a bit.

Everything was just on the cusp of being a bit too cold, but not quite there yet.

Winter is right around the corner. Winter break is right around the corner.

"Oh, uh, just a little tired that's all." You quickly cover with a light laugh, looking at the others whose eyes are now on you and trying to remember what the conversation was.

"Huh? But you went to bed early last night!" Grim talks between bites of his sandwich, bread crumbs stuck in the fur on his chin that you grab a napkin from your bag and reach to wipe it off.

"Don't talk while you eat, you'll choke." You scold him, and he bats your hand away with a grumble of protest.

He hates it when you baby him like a parent with their toddler.

But if he hates it so much, maybe he should stop acting like a toddler so much, and you'd stop acting like his parent.

"Well, if it's not sleep, what is it MC? Is it winter break? Is Crowley gonna stick ya with chores like last time?" Epel cringes and Ace scoffs.

"What does that lousy headmage even do around here besides show up and push his work on everyone else?" Ace asks, leaning back resting his chin in his palm, elbow propped on the wooden picnic table.

"Well, he intrudes on our classes a lot." Jack's ears flick in irritation- one of the few students who doesn't appreciate Dire Crowley's interruptions that lead to him taking over the class to teach the easiest of nonsense that they all already know.

While there actual professors seeth in the corner. Professor Crewel actually saw him coming in once, and before the headmage could say a word, launched an empty glass beaker at him to keep him out.

You have never respected Crewel more.

Even if he made you clean up the mess.

"Say, you went to a school like NRC in your world, right, MC? What did you do on winter break back there?" Deuce asks, and that catches everyone's interest.

"Oh, right, with no magic your world is very different from ours, MC, what kind of classes do you even have in school there?" Ortho asks from next to you, and you smile.

"Well, more just general education, science, math, history, that kind of thing, and then in a college like this you take specialized classes for whatever career you planning on going into- and without magic, there are a lot more careers that humans have to do than here in the Twisted Wonderland." You explain.

"Hmph, your world sounds terribly inefficient if it has to rely on humans taking years to educate themselves to do jobs that would take magic and fae only moments." Sebek scoffs, arms crossed.

He's wearing his normal uniform, not a single extra layer, and when you offered him a spare scarf he yelled something about humans being so much 'weaker to temperature than fae', but even now, you can a slight shiver run through him every time a particularly cold wind blows through.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, we have a lot of nice things even without magic to help us get them. During winter break everyone got to go home to their families just like they do here, and a lot of them would celebrate the holidays..." You mumble solemnly.

"Holidays? What kind of holidays do ya have over there?" Epel asks, and something about the way he says that- 'over there' makes you snort a laugh.

Like you're just from a different country and not a whole different world.

"Lots. With so many countries, religions, and cultures- there are a lot of holidays year-round depending on who you are, your family, and where you live, yada yada... This time of year though, my family, and most of the world, starts getting ready to celebrate Christmas." You tell them, picking at your food that you haven't eaten much of yet.

"Christmas? What's that?" Ortho asks, and Deuce actually brightens.

"You told me about it! At Rook's birthday a few days ago! Something about exchanging gifts?" He asks to which Ace perks up.

"A holiday about giving gifts? Now that I can get behind!" Ace smiles, leaning forward expectantly.

"Well- yeah- you give gifts, but it's about more than that. It's about family, friends, and traditions... Every year, at the start of December, we'd go out and get a pine tree and we'd decorate it with colorful lights and ornaments, and the star on top! Never forget the star on top-" You start ranting about your Christmas traditions at home, a rush of familiar excitement bubbling up in your voice.

"And we'd spend all of the winter break having fun, ice skating, making snowmen & snow angels, sleigh rides, though nothing really beats decorating the house and tree, it's what sets the mood for the whole holiday, and the music! Oh, Cater, Lilia, and Kalim would loooove the Christmas music, it's so pop-y and cheesy, talking about the same stuff- a lot of romantic songs since Christmas is considered to be a really romantic season-" You list some things and they all look at you confused but you keep going.

"Wait, do you decorate the house or the tree?" Deuce asks.

"You cut down a living tree and bring it inside? That's incredibly unhealthy for the environment, not to mention unsanitary!" Sebek shouts, and you roll your eyes.

"In my world there a pine tree farms that grow small pine trees just for Christmas time- to keep anyone from cutting down wild ones. And there are tree skirts that catch the falling pine needles to keep things clean." You explain with a chuckle.

"Farms dedicated to pine trees? That sounds so strange. Sure, apples and other fruits, but just regular old pines?" Epel ponders, and Ace and Deuce nod along.

"What other traditions are there?" Grim ducks under your arm, settling down in your lap in a way that reminds you far too much of children sitting on Santa's lap asking for presents.

"Well, every Christmas, some people from my neighborhood would gather around and sing carols- which are Christmas songs sung by a group of people like a choir- in exchange for hot chocolate, I always loved having hot chocolate. Oh, and the ugly Christmas sweaters, I loved ranking them in my head on who had the worst, one year I saw a girl with a tacky bright blue one with hand-stitched reindeer and glitter glue- god it was awful but so funny." You pause, half tempted to grab some paper from your bag and draw it to show them.

"You know, we have hot chocolate here, right?" Jack raises a brown with a slightly amused smirk and you roll your eyes.

"And ugly sweaters, though not necessarily 'Christmas' themed." Ortho adds and that makes you laugh.

"Housewarden Vil would hate a tradition based around wearing something intentionally ugly. Can ya imagin' the look on his face?" Epel chuckles to himself, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Would you all stop interrupting! I wanna hear more, what about food? Is there any good food for Christmas?" Grim asks, looking up at you with sparkles in his eyes, that he only ever really gets when thinking about food.

"Ha! Leave it to you to be focused all on your stomach, Grim!" Ace teases, and you laugh, but continue anyway.

"Well, the baking was my favorite- at least to eat. Sugar cookies, peanut butter blossoms, thumbprint cookies, no-bakes, gingerbread, pudding pies. Traditionally, lots of people would make houses out of gingerbread cookies. And on Christmas day, the 25th of December, families would have a big feast, with ham, turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, and candied yams. That was after you opened all the presents though-"

"Wait, so this is all leading up to a Christmas day? That's when you get the presents?" Ace asks, and you smile and nod.

"Yep, so when you're a little kid, there's this fun fairytale about a guy named 'Santa Claus' who every year, on Christmas Eve, rides out on his sleigh, pulled by reindeer, and delivers gifts underneath people's Christmas trees for well-behaved children. When you get older, and obviously find out he's not real, it's still tradition to put the gifts you get under the tree and wait to open them until Christmas day." You pause for a moment thinking before reiterating.

"Though that depends on some things. Friends for example like to be there when you open the gift they give so they can see if you like it, so sometimes they give you your gifts to open early, which is fine too! The point is, Christmas is the season of giving. Showing people how much you care for them by getting them thoughtful gifts and spending time with each other." You smile looking up at the sky.

It's getting a bit cloudy. As is your mood.

"It's also considered to be a really romantic holiday. Where couples would chose to propose to each other as a Christmas gift, or little lovebirds would confess their feelings. My friends liked the whole mistletoe tradition- getting caught under a sprig of mistletoe with someone and having to kiss whoever's under it with you- it could end up really cute, or funny, or even downright awkward." You chuckle.

The memory of two of your old friends getting caught under one, and while one made funny smoochy faces, the other was pushing them away making a barfing sound surfacing in your mind.

You wonder how they're doing...

"That sounds like a terrible tradition! Being forced to kiss someone just cuz you got stuck under a dumb plant?" Grim cringes and you snort.

"It's not manditory, nor does it have to be on the lips or anything. I got caught under it once with a friend and we re-enacted a scene from a book were the knight dropped to his knees and kissed the princess's hand." You sighed fondly at the memory.

"So it's just a cute, non-serious tradition? I bet it'd make an awesome prank for people who take it seriously though." Ace smirks, a look in his eye that means he's definitley gonna drag you into one of his backfired messes later.

"Whatever you're planning, you better leave me out of it, Ace. I don't need to get in trouble with Riddle cuz you went and used my worlds traditions to prank people." You give him a waring look and he just smiles, and gives a playful wink.

"Hey! I'm not planning anything!" He scoffs in mock offence, but you sharpen your glare.

"You better not be."

"Say, what kind of gifts do you give on Christmas? Do they gotta be Christmas-y themed like everything else?" Epel asks, and pivots the conversation back to the holiday.

You spend the rest of lunch describing more Christmas traditions to them, ones your own family had, ones others had, and even some ways other countries celebrated.

Stockings above the fireplace filled with chocolates and small toys and trinkets, Santa Claus and his elves in the north pole-

That lead to Ace making a short joke to Epel while they were walking back to class, which got his ankles swiped from under him, landing on his ass in the hallway you all burst into laughter- outside of Sebek who made a loud shout about 'making a scene in the middle of the hall being unbefitting.'

His shout drew the attention of a passing Lilia and Cater who joined you all on your walk and Ace and Grim started ranting to them about everything you'd just told them about Christmas.

You watch silently as the two upperclassmen listen, just as intrigued as your fellow freshmen had been...

Twisted Wonderland isn't the worst world to have gotten stuck in. The friends you've made here. They make the idea of going home a really hard one to think about.

But all this talk about the holidays, and the upcoming loneliness as eveyone gets ready to leave campus- leaving you all alone... It's bringing your gloomy mood back in full force.

"You really do miss it, don't ya?" Epel interupts your thoughts and you look to see him staring at you as you walk side by side.

"... I do. The holidays here in Twisted Wonderland, and how there celebrated at NRC have been some of the most fun I've ever had in my life... But Christmas was really special to me. And it was a time for family and friends, so spending it alone is... hard." You sigh, suddenly feeling very tired, despite going to bed early like Grim oh-so-helpfully pointed out earlier.

"You know, maybe you could come stay with one of us for winter break? My meemaw wouldn't mind having a guest." Epel offers, and you smile at the kindness.

"Nah, I don't wanna intrude, plus Crowley's chores aren't that bad- I get them done pretty quickly, and then I have plenty of free time to fix up Ramshackle more."

"You know, I'm pretty sure that should be Crowley's job- you already do plenty of his chores to make up for your food and living expenses. You shouldn't have to fix Ramshackle up to." Jack, who's walking on the other side of you, points out.

"Yeah, but argueing with him ain't exactly easy... I'm think of talking to Professor Crewel about some things though, since he seems more... Reasonable then Crowley does." Speaking of Professor Crewel, you reach his class room, and the upperclassmen split up, heading towards their own class.

Ace and Deuce head inside and you pause to look at Epel and Jack one last time.

"Thank you guys for the concern though, I appreciate it, really." And you turn away.

Missing the thoughtful glance your two friends share.

~~~

"So! I think we all know why we're here today!" Epel smacks his hand on the desk in the empty classroom dramatically.

"Uh- not really, but go on." Ace raises a brow, feet proped on the desk he's sitting at, attempting to balance a pencil on his nose.

"We're here because of MC! Duh!" He shouts.

"Huh? What about 'em? They're fine." Ace shrugs, and Jack rolls his eyes from next to him, swiping the pencil away.

"They are far from 'fine' Ace! Didn't you see how homesick they got when talking about Christmas!? Or how sad they've look the last few days since!?" Epel crosses his arms, tapping his foot- before stopping quickly- the mannerism something far to similar to what Vil would do when scolding him.

"That's true! I've scanned them every time we meet up, and their vital always show lower than average levels of serotonin and dopamine! I've been meaning to ask them privately if they're okay, but I have yet to get the chance." Ortho informs, pulling up a screen from his arm to show the history of the last several times he's scanned the Prefect.

"Oh, well, they have been kinda down lately, haven't they?" Deuce brings a hand to his chin in thought, and Grim- who's standing on a desk in front of Deuce- scoffs.

"Down? They've been downright depressed is what they've been! So lost in thought and stuff, they burned dinner last night staring off into space all mopy and stuff!" The little dire beast pouts.

"They miss their home- or at least their friends and family. This is the time of year, that during Christmas, they would spend with them. And they can't do that now. They'll just be all alone on campus once we all leave. That's a pretty depressing thought." Jack rubs the back of his head, ears slightly drooping at the idea of not being able to see his own family during such a special holiday.

"Hey! They won't be alone! They'll have me!" Grim shouts indignatly.

"By the seven, that's even worse..." Ace shivers at the idea of being stuck alone with Grim for a whole two weeks.

"Hey! What the heck is that suppose to mean!?" Grim growls, and Ace rolls his eyes.

"That's enough! This ain't about you two! MC is our friend! They've done so much for us, and all of NRC! They don't deserve to feel so alone, stuck doing Crowley's dirty work when they should be enjoying time with their family! At there home!" Epel scolds, and Ace and Grim look away bashfully.

"Yeah, you're right, but... What are we supposed to do? It's not like we can send them home or anything. And there's not much good in trying to talk Crowley into being helpful- we already try that regularly." Ace runs a hand through his hair a troubled look on his face.

He's thought about this plenty of time. Talked about it with his dormmates too, and his fellow freshmen, but when it comes to helping the prefect, the don't really accept help easily, nor is there much they can do either.

Freshmen are kinda at the bottom of the food chain here at NRC, even the stronger ones like them, so there influence and ability to help is very limited.

"Obviously we can't, but me and Jack had an idea! So we called you all here- plus Sebek, but he's busy with Malleus stuff or whatever- so we'll fill him in later." Epel explains and meets Jack's eye- a determined nod from him and he announces the plan.

"We're gonna bring Christmas to NRC!"

...

"Huh!?"

The ripple of shock around the room is broken first by Ace.

"Whadda mean 'Bring Christmas to NRC!?' How the hell are we supposed to do that?" He shouts.

"Simple really! I made a checklist of all the things MC was talking about when describing Christmas, and we're gonna do them! Here, take a look!" He places the list in front of them.

1. Get a Christmas tree! (Pine prefered)

2. Decorate Tree & Ramshackle - Colorful lights, ornaments, and tinsil! (Reds, greens, whites, silver, gold, & blue colors! Reindeer, snowmen, snowflakes, mistletoe & holly and more are important designs!) DON'T FORGET THE STAR ON TOP THE TREE (Star - real? Maybe? Further information needed).

3. Bake them lots of cookies! (peanut butter blossoms, no-bakes, pudding pies, thumbprints, gingerbread, sugar cookies shaped like reindeer, candy canes, snowmen, etc.)

4. Throw a Christmas feast before leaving for winter break! (Ham, turkey, candied yams, mash potatoes and gravy, other sides)

5. Get them gifts! One from each of us! - REQUIRED!!

6. Wrap them in colorful wrapping paper!

7. Hide them until the 25th!

8. Sneak them under the tree before MC wakes up! (The Ramshackle Ghosts can help, and maybe Grim)

9. Happy MC when we all come back from break!!

10. Get the Housewardens in on it? - BIG MAYBE

11. DEAL WITH CROWLEY!!!

"Well, this is pretty thought out, I'll admit, but I'm not sure how... Acheivable it is." Ortho sighs.

"Especially the last goal." Ace adds.

"Oh, don't go giving up now! When MC's doing nice things for us, or getting us out of trouble- they never give up! I know that I'm going to do everything I can to cheer MC up and make sure they have a good Christmas, even if they can't have their family with them! Are you gonna help or not?" Epel nods resolute.

"Well, when you put it like that, there's no way I can bail out now, I'd be a total jerk to." Ace smirks, sitting back down.

"Agreed. MC always helps us out when we need it, and even when we don't they're always there for us. It's only fair that we return the favor for once!" Deuce smacks a fist into his palm, with a thoughtful look on his face that turns determined.

"The Prefect of Ramshackle has helped Nii-san a lot, and is always wonderful company! Seeing them so sad lately has been worrying. If this plan will make them feel better, then I will gladly help!" Ortho gets that look in his eyes like his just been issued a challenge in a game.

"Good. Now, this is all gonna be hard to accomplish, but it's gonna be even more difficult to do under there nose! So we need help. I'm thinking since the housewardens all owe MC a lot- they might help us do this for them." Epel mentions, picking up the list.

"Well, I know Trey can help us with baking, and Riddle might help find a way to deal with Crowley." Ace says, and Deuce nods in agreement.

"I can text them to meet us in the library later to talk about it." Deuce pulls out his phone.

"Hm, I don't thing Leona or Ruggie would be very interested in helping or going out of their way for anyone, even the Prefect, but I can mention it to them anyway." Jack hums

"I think if I yeild and promise to add a few more steps to my skincare routine, then Vil might help, Rook will help no problem... We might be able to ask Azul for help with food for the feast." Epel ponders.

"Azul? Hell, nah! And be in debt to him for the rest of our school lives for a measly ham and turkey? I'd rather try cooking it myself then that." Ace groans, and both Deuce and Grim shiver in terror.

The memory of the first time they were in Azul's debt still an open wound in their minds.

"Turn you and Grim loose in a kitchen? No offense, but I think I'll take my chance with the Leech twins." Jack huffs, shaking his head.

"I find Jade Leech and Floyd Leech of Octavinelle to be very fun and kind to me! I'm sure they will help the Prefect!" Ortho says optimistically, and everyone lets out an 'eeehhh'.

"What? You don't believe they would?" He looks around at them, and Ace snaps his fingers.

"I believe that you would be the best person to ask and find out! They're both pretty fond of you, so there's a higher chance they'll agree if you ask." He announces and Ortho nods.

"Alright! I will head to Mostro Lounge first thing after school tomorrow!"

"And we'll see about cookies and talking to Riddle." Deuce adds.

"I'll see about finding some decorations, Mr. S might have some stuff we can use. Maybe I can get Leona to help pay for some of it. He is kinda soft on MC, even if he won't admit it." Jack smiles.

"And I'll talk to Sebek, he'll be in charge of getting a good pine tree- and then me and Grim will talk to the ghosts in Ramshackle to make sure they'll help us hide our gifts for them and leave them under the tree on Christmas Eve!"

And like that, the plan is formed.

Now, it's time to put it into action.

Christmas at NRC!

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profound-imagination · 7 months ago

Text

Flightless (Reimagined) - Azriel Shadowsinger

A/N - Okay so this is a rewritten version of this fic - I really hope you enjoy.

T/W: Very brief mention of S/A it isn't talked about in detail, the R word isn't used but please keep yourselves safe and don't read if at all triggering for you. Talks of violence.

W/C: 7.7K

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Swallowing the lump in your throat, you took a deep breath, steeled yourself against the biting cold, and approached one of the most terrifying males you knew. You wanted to do this, wanted to learn. "Excuse me, Lord Devlon?" He took his sweet time before he looked at you, before he acknowledged you. "What is it, girl?" He asked, no malice in his voice, but it wasn't kind either. "I was wondering if it would be acceptable for me to join training with the other girls in the mornings?" The two warriors next to him snorted, the third sneered, "What use would you be, girl? Your wings weren't even clipped, I don’t think there's a word for what happened to your wings, your missing half of one and the other is bent all wrong." A shudder ran through you at the memory, the agony, the heartbreak of never being able to feel the wind again, of never being able to answer its call again.

Devlon paled slightly as he looked past you and snapped at the three warriors with him to get back to work, the third still sneering at you as he went. "I survived sir." You told Devlon quietly, "I survived what happened to me, I'm strong enough to train like an Illyrian." He ran a hand down his face, and you felt someone approach behind you, you did not turn but your spin straightened, and your broken wings flared as best as they could. "You'll get yourself killed, you'll be thrown into the Rite, just like the others. Besides, we start training as children, your age is against you." You looked up at him and met his eyes, "I can do this sir, please, let me try." He opened his mouth to reply but another voice came from behind you. "Why do you want to train so badly?" You turned slowly only to be met by the Lord of Bloodshed himself. The General of the Night Court stood tall, proud, and strong. The wind was whipping the lose pieces of his hair around his face. Seven ruby red siphons glinted in the sun. You had never seen him up close, but from here you almost crumbled under how powerful he clearly was.

"I was held down as they mutilated my wings, my Lord. I was helpless, I couldn’t defend myself, I didn’t know how to." You could have sworn the air thickened, and the sky darkened as the Shadowsinger and the High Lord himself approached. "Who took your wings?” Cassian growled, glaring at Devlon as he did. “Well, it didn’t happen here!” Devlon snapped at the General who bared his teeth in response. These two clearly were not friends. “It happened at the Ironcrest Camp.” You told him quickly, your nerves fraying due to looks being exchanged between the two males you currently stood between, the last thing you wanted was to be caught between two fighting Illyrians. “This camp has been good to me.” You continued. “Devlon.” The High Lord greeted, “Rhysand.” Devlon gritted back. “Why won’t you train the girl?” Rhysand asked and Devlon gestured towards you, “Look at her, she’s in no shape to train, to fight. She wouldn’t last an hour in the Rite.” Rhysand studied you, “What happened to your wings?” He asked, his star flecked eyes meeting your own. “This isn’t a traditional clipping.” He said and you shuddered against the memory. “Let me see.” He said as you felt his power caressing your mind and then there, he was, in the middle of that night with you.

Ironcrest was cold. Colder than Windhaven. There was a reason it was known as the cruellest camp, and it wasn’t just the biting weather that gave it that reputation. You were making your way back to your decrepit tent after clearing up after dinner. The males, as usual had eaten more than their share, your own you had split between the few daughters of the camp. Those who were discarded as soon as they were born. Urchins the males referred to them as. Stomach cramping with hunger you prayed to the Mother you wouldn’t run into Malakai, the Lord's son, the Male with the cruellest reputation, one that was well earned. You felt a flinch on the edge of the memory, and you knew it was the High Lord sensing your fear as you continued to walk through the dark. You had seen Malakai at dinner, drinking heavily and you knew that would do nothing to improve the perpetual sense of rage he seemed to live in. He, for some reason, had taken a shine to you and not in a good or kind way. You could see your tent in the distance, so so close, when all of a sudden, a hand wrapped around your mouth, trapping any sound, another arm around your waist, trapping your already weak wings from the lack of flying, females were not to be seen in the sky here, most of which had already been clipped. Everything went black before you could react. When you woke, three males surrounded you, Malakai and his two, equally sadistic friends. They were a band of brothers, much like the High Lord, the General and the Shadowsinger. You weren’t sure why you thought about them in that moment, maybe because they’d be the only ones to save you, but they wouldn’t come and why would they? You felt Rhysand flinch again at the thought.

“Welcome back, sweetheart,” Malakai crooned at you, you didn’t look at him, you kept your gaze downcast. A good, submissive female. “You’ve been struting around here unchecked for too long.” He said, “I made it quite clear that you were to be mine and seeing as you won’t submit on your own, I’ll take what is rightfully mine.” Fear shot through your entire being and your body went numb as his friends held you face down in the dirt. You couldn’t fight, couldn’t move due to their weight. Laying there helpless you cried as Malakai hacked at your wings. Not at the base as you had expected, as you had witnessed in previous clippings while on your knees, holding the unfortunate females hands, promising her everything would be okay. There was no one to do that for you as you felt your left wing tear, as you felt the right one break. No one to tell you it was going to be okay as he forced himself on you as his friends laughed while you were bleeding out in the snow. You weren’t sure how long you cried in the snow, naked, cold, broken, it could’ve been hours before the daughters you looked after came looking, before they dragged you as best they could back to your tent and sat with you. You weren’t sure if the Mother herself was watching over you because even though part of you died that night, you were still alive come daybreak.

“Enough! Rhys, enough!” A voice like night personified spoke, close to your ear. You felt the cold seeping into your tattered dress as Rhysand retreated from your mind. There was a warmth at your back you noticed as you looked at the High Lord’s face and saw nothing but rage there. “Are you okay?” The same voice asked you, “It can be unsettling the first time he does that.” It continued, you craned your neck and saw the Shadowsinger, looking down at you and you came to the mortifying realisation that you were in his embrace, on the floor. You scrambled away from him, “I’m sorry my Lord, I’m so sorry!” You rushed out. The General let out a laugh and pulled you from the ground gently, setting you back on your feet and making sure you were steady before he stepped away. “She trains.�� Rhysand spoke, authority coating his words, daring Devlon to argue with him. “If she wishes to train, to learn how to defend herself, she trains.” He said. Devlon was silent for a long moment. “With me.” It was not Devlon who had spoken but the Shadowsinger. “She trains with me, personally.” He wasn’t telling Devlon, nor was he asking permission, he was telling the High Lord that training you was going to be his task, and his alone. The two of them seemed to have some kind of silent argument if the tick in the Spymasters jaw was anything to go by before Rhysand finally said, “So be it Az, she trains with you.” You couldn’t fight the small smile that graced your lips, even if your cheeks were burning with embarrassment from having been in his lap only moments ago. “Thank you, Shadowsinger.” You said quietly. He didn’t smile, he just nodded. “Azriel, my name is Azriel.”

As instructed you were outside one of the only shops in Windhaven at daybreak. The door clicked open, and a female slipped out. “Oh, you must be Y/N.” She smiled gently. You returned her smile, “Yes, are you Emerie?” She nodded in confirmation that she was indeed Emerie. She looked you up and down and you didn’t miss her eyes snagging on the half of a wing hanging from your left side. “So, you’re Azriel’s new project.” She mused. “His new project?” You asked, “He’s just training me?” You said. “He’s a wonderful male, kind, gentle, but he’s dangerous and he’s easy to fall for.” She warned, “Have you?” You asked, “Fallen for him?” You clarified and she laughed, “Me? No, I prefer the company of females.” She told you with a smirk. Oh, oh. “I have no plans to fall for him, I just want to learn.” You told her and she smiled gently again, “Just be careful.” was all she said as the most beautiful female you had ever seen appeared and gave Emerie a dazzling smile. She bounced up to you, “Hi, I’m Mor!” He voice was like windchimes. “Hello, I’m Y/N.” You smiled, “Ready to learn how to kick these males asses?” She grinned and offered you a hand as you nodded.

Winnowing was a strange sensation, it felt like falling and staying still all at once and then you really were falling. The air left your lungs as you collided with something and then you were flying. “Welcome to Velaris.” You opened your eyes to see the High Lord and you were flying. A grin split across your face; it had almost been a year since you had last flown and the wind felt incredible against your skin. Rhysand smiled down at you as he did a couple of loops of the house below while you grinned before he eventually landed. You finally took in the view of the city he had called Velaris. “It’s beautiful here,” you breathed. “You should see it at Starfall.” A female spoke from behind you. Turning to face the voice you saw the High Lord with his arms around a beautiful female and you knew exactly who she was. You dropped into a courtesy, “High Lady,” you greeted. She smiled warmly, “Just Feyre is fine.” She told you, taking your hand and helping you straighten and regain your balance, the wind causing your wings to knock you off kilter. “Is that what you are training in?” She asked, referring to your tattered dress and your cheeks burned with embarrassment. “It’s all I have.” You admitted and she frowned at her husband. “It’s fine, really!” You insisted and she didn’t argue with you.

“Are you ready?” Azriel’s voice sent chills down your spine. You took a deep breath and turned to face him. “I am.” You told him. “We’re training a level up.” He told you, “This place goes higher?” You gasped, “It does, all that’s up there is a training ring, slightly smaller than this one, Cassian will be training Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn down here.” You nodded at him, “Once you're caught up you are welcome to join them, Nesta has already extended the invitation.” You smiled, that was incredibly kind of her, you had never been included before. In anything. “Let’s go.” He said, walking towards the door leading into the house. The interior took your breath away. You had never seen the outside of the camps before and you couldn’t comprehend how grand this house was. “Do you live here?” You gasped, freezing in place and taking in the parlour room. Azriel turned upon hearing your footsteps hault. Due to your half a wing your steps had a telltale uneven sound to them. He allowed a rare turn up of his lips at the sight of wonder on your face. “Yes, with Cassian and Nesta.” You didn’t acknowledge his words, still taking in the rich wallpaper, the plus sofas and chairs. “I’m not here much though, I’m often away for work but whenever I’m in the city this is where I reside.” He continued, that seemed to pull you back to him, “Oh, am I keeping you from that?” You asked gently, concern coating your eyes, “I can train at the camps, honestly, its fine.” You rushed out. Azriel shook his head, “You aren’t keeping me from anything.” He inclined his head towards the door and you followed next to him, running your hand along the back of the sofa, “I’ve never felt something so soft!” You exclaimed; an amused raise of his brows was all he gave you in return. You struggled up the stairs, your wings leaving your gait uneven, stairs was something you hadn’t faced in a long time, and it seemed you could no longer go up them very well. Azriel didn’t push or hurry you like you expected, he merely kept a step behind you to catch you if you fell. You were exhausted by the time you’d reached the training ring but more than determined to prove yourself.

Training that day was brutal. Not because you got hurt, in fact, Azriel didn’t touch you once, didn’t once enter your personal space. He had started you off with footwork. It was much harder than you thought simple footwork would be, but your uneven wings made life difficult as did the shadows that constantly danced around you, but you loved your new little friends and he couldn’t seem to call them back no matter how much he told them to leave you alone and find something useful to be doing, apparently they thought nothing was more useful than being around you. He never once lost his patience, he let you work through it. Let you pull yourself from the ground time after time with nothing but gentle encouragement. “Good,” he said at midday, “You did well today, we’ll do the same again tomorrow.” Sweat was pouring off of you by the time he was guiding you through a cool down. “How did it go?” Rhysand asked, appearing on the roof with the pair of you while you were lying on your back, fighting for your life trying to catch your breath. “It went well.” Azriel told him as you just stuck your arm in the air showing him a thumbs up. Rhysand just laughed at you. “Y/N, I have asked our healer, Madja, to take a look at your wings, just to make sure, if you’ll allow it?” He asked, your sat up, crossing your legs and looked at him, “Make sure of what? They can’t be fixed? Half of one is probably still in that field in Ironcrest.” You told him, “I know they can’t, but I’d like to know if they are causing you pain and if we can do anything about that.” He said a kind smile graced his face and you found yourself nodding. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Azriel said shortly, his attitude suddenly switched, and storms seemed to be brewing in his eyes. “Okay.” You mumbled quietly, slightly scared of the person he now seemed to be. “Azriel.” Rhysand growled, “You are to leave it alone, do you understand?” He commanded, pure High Lord. Azriel levelled him with a look, nodded once and took to the skies.

Azriel:

“Half of one is probably still in that field in Ironcrest.” Azriel wasn’t sure why the words had gutted him like they had or why they were playing over and over in his head. He knew something tragic had happened to her, something unforgivable, Rhys hadn’t shared with him or Cassian what he had seen in her mind yesterday, but it had taken all afternoon, several glasses of whiskey and Feyre perched on his lap before his brother had calmed. All he knew was that when she uttered those words a rage like he hadn’t felt for a long time consumed him. He was to leave it alone. That was an order from his High Lord, not his friend, not his brother, his High Lord. So alone he would leave it, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t investigate, Rhysand hadn’t said anything about investigating. So, naturally, he flew to Ironcrest. He kept quiet and out of sight of the main camp and sent his ever-helpful friends to investigate. He didn’t fail to notice the littlest one, the one that usually stuck to him like glue, rambling in his ear like an excited child, the one that hadn’t left her side all morning was the first to dart away at his command.

It didn't take long before he heard a howl on the wind, they had found something. The remaining shadows engulfed him like a swarm. When they cleared again, he was in a small clearing. It was the little shadow howling for him and upon his arrival it came shooting towards him. "Look! Look! See, Master! See what they did!” It was frantically whispering at him. “Show me.” He answered it aloud and followed its lead. The smell of blood hit him first. Something that didn’t make sense, but he knew on instinct it was hers. Her injuries weren’t recent, not recent enough for the blood to linger, not with the weather up here anyway but it was as if her blood had permeated the earth and his wings unfurled with the anger that once again hit him like a tidal wave. He spotted it then, lying in the grass, half of a wing. Just like she said. The cuts were crude, as if the instrument used was too blunt for the cartilage of the wing. He knew, from his experiance in breaking people, that once they had sawed through the bone, they had torn through the skin with their bare hands, like one would with paper. Even as someone who inflicted pain for a living, he couldn’t imagine. His knees gave out without his permission, and he vomited. “Kill them! Make them suffer! Kill them all!” The little shadow was hissing as it darted around his head. Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, he forced himself to his feet. “I will little one, I will.” He told it, “I’ll help!” It insisted, “You’ll all help when the time is right, for now, some of you stay here, find out who did this to her, keep me informed.” He addressed all of his shadows, the sneakier of which took their leave at his command. The little one floating by his ear like an unofficial second in command.

Y/N:

As predicted, there was nothing Madja could do for your wings, other than keep you comfortable with them. Which Rhysand insisted she do despite your protest that they had already done far too much for you by allowing you to train. You left of course, with ointments, tinctures, and vials for your wings. You arrived at training the next morning, aching but determined as ever. “Go on up!” Nesta told you with a smile and you give her your best smile right back. Gritting your teeth you pulled yourself up the stairs to the second training ring. Azriel wasn’t there when you arrived so you wandered over to the edge of the ring, bending at the waist to feel the wind over the wall. Your right wing, the broken one tried hard to unfurl and feel the wind but shattering pain lanced through you and it quickly stopped its movement. You stood there, a small smile on your face, hair whipping around you. “I like it up here, I can feel the wind again, I can hear its song.” You told Azriel who looked downright shocked you knew he was there as he emerged from his shadows. You let out a small laugh and put your hair behind your ear, “This little one gave you away.” You told him, showing you the little shadow curled around your ear like it belonged there. Azriel glared at it and it dived into your hair. “Don’t be mean to my new friend!” You scolded him and half of his lip twitched up into a smile. He came and leant against the wall next to you, taking great care not to knock your wings, Rhysand must’ve told him about the exposed bone and nerve on the left one that you wouldn’t even let Madja touch. “It must be nice to live somewhere like this, up in the wind.” You told him, “Do you miss it?” He asked, and you looked at him to find him already watching you, “Of course I do, but this is as close as I’ll ever get now.” You told him with a shrug. “Shall we start?” You asked. “Not yet, let’s enjoy the wind a bit longer first.” He said. From that day on, the first 45 minuets of training, Azriel dedicated to sitting on the wall, enjoying the wind. Slowly and surely, the Shadowsinger started talking to you more and more.

Azriel:

Six months later Azriel had found himself looking forward to morning training. It was no longer a motion to go through. He found he enjoyed Y/N’s quiet company. Enjoyed that she had never once been scared to call him out on his shit. It was her that had finally gotten through to him about Elain. He was repeating old patterns, and he knew that now. “You’re worth more than you think, Azriel. You deserve real and true love, mate or not. But this thing you have with Elain, this isn’t it. You know it isn’t. She’s using you and you know it, deep down you know it.” She had told him three days ago. He was furious. How dare she think such a thing about Elain about him? All he had tried to do is help her! He hadn’t shown up for training the last two days, but he knew from Cassian that she had and stubbornly carried on without him. Today, he was swallowing his pride and apologising for his actions. He had reacted badly at the time and she had flinched, she had been scared of him in that moment and it made him sick. He knew she knew he would never lift a hand to her in such a way, but she had still flinched, and he would not forgive himself for it, for the scent of fear that filled the air as he walked away from her in the middle of a session.

When he made it to the training ring, she wasn’t there. So he waited, five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen. Emerie came bursting onto the roof, Mor on her heels, Cassian, Nesta and Gwyn behind them. “She never turned up this morning!” Emerie told him in one breath. “Mor and I went to her tent but she wasn't there either!” He met Cassians gaze and saw the worry there, the tick in his brothers jaw. Cassian ran these camps as best he could but even Cassian wasn’t enough to corral the old ways and he could read it on the General’s face that he was worried about what they would find. “Find Rhysand, meet me there.” Was all he said to Cassian before launching to the skies.

Azriel wasted no time in heading straight for Devlon when he landed, his shadows skittering in all directions in their own search. The littlest one that she had become so fond of stuck with him, wailing in his ear. The commander met him halfway. “I know why you are here, Singer.” He said, “None of us had anything to do with it, we don’t know where she is, just that she’s gone.” “Truth, truth, truth.” The little shadow wailed in his ear. Azriel nodded once, “You and everyone here is to stay here, in the centre of camp and out of my way.” He said, his voice promising a cold death if they disregarded his order. Devlon nodded once and Azriel strode away. “Not here, not here, not here!” the little shadow repeated over and over again. “I know!” He growled at it, “Unless you know where she is, be quiet!” The shadow darted from his ear, up into his hair where it hid. He took to the skies again, circling the camp and the surrounding areas in slightly largest circles each time when Rhys and Cassian arrived. Rhysand took over sorting out a plan of action as the urgency and panic was starting to eat away at Azriel. He didn’t understand what was going on but the Spymaster almost suffocating with the frantic anxiety that was crawling up his throat and constricting his chest. His brothers shared a knowing look but did not enlighten him. He didn’t care. If it wasn’t her location, he wasn’t interested. The little shadow slid down his face, to its place curled round his ear and began to whisper once more. “Taken, hurt, taken, hurt.” “Where?!” He demanded and a swarm of shadows engulfed him, taking him to where they had found her.

Azriel almost vomited again when he saw her, lying broken in the grass, in the exact spot where she had been broken a year prior. “Find out why she was at Ironcrest!” He snapped at a group of shadows that quickly departed. y she’s in Ironcrest!” He snapped at a group of nearby shadows. Whether she came here of her own free will or was taken against it, the outcome was going to be the same. The torture master of the Night Court was coming out to play and they were going to suffer. People were going to die and this camp would be red by the time he was done. Her favourite little shadow was already racing towards her. Azriel had never heard a shadow scream before, and it was haunting. A sound he would never forget for as long as he lived. He would wake from nightmares to that sound, just like he did to the sound of the flesh on his hands sizzling when he was a child. There was no way to describe the state of her already broken wings, or the amount of blood she was covered in. “Help her! Master! Help her!” The little shadow was screaming at him as he fell to his kness beside her, checking her breath. She was still breathing, that was a start. He heard Rhys and Cassian land behind him. “Not again.” He heard Rhys mumble and he whirled on his brother, “What. Do. You. Mean. Again?” He demanded, Cassian was the one who spoke, “Not now, she needs us!”

Azriel turned back to the beautiful broken female lying in the grass. “Y/N? Can you hear me?” He asked, her eyes flew open, unfocused, and wild. Unsure of who was in front of her she went to move away and defend herself when she screamed. He assumed due to the pain she was currently in. “Y/N, it’s me!” Her eyes focused for a second and softened upon seeing him, she croaked his name, and a snap took place deep within his chest at the sound of his name and all of his instincts got stronger, harder to fight and he knew exactly what had happened. “There it is.” Cassian said to Rhys quietly who nodded back at the General. She went limp again. She would’ve hit the ground if not for Cassian catching her, placing her gently back down, from the seated position she was in. “No, no, no, baby, stay with me!” Azriel said desperately reaching for her. “Rhysand, help me!” He begged his High Lord, “Madja is the only one who can help her now, we need to move.” Rhys told him, Azriel stood, cradling her in his arms. Shadows were racing towards him from the trees. He handed her to Rhys as gently as possible. “You can winnow faster than my shadows. Take her.” Rhys nodded and was gone.

“In the trees, in the trees.” The shadows told him upon reaching him. He and Cassian followed, both males freezing upon finding a young girl, no older than 4, crying softly under a tree. Cassian made himself as small as possible when he realised Azriel was in no state to deal with this and met the little ones eyes, “What are you doing out here all by yourself little lady?” He asked with a gentle smile at the girl. “Are you going to hurt her?” The girl asked, baring her little teeth at Cassian, Azriel would have laughed if he had it in him. “No, we’re her friends.” Cassian told her softly, “She helped me.” She croaked, “They tried to take my wings.” Azriel ground his teeth so hard he thought they’d break. “Are you hurt?” Cassian asked and she shook her head no, “Just a little cut.” She said, expanding her tiny wing so show them a graze. “Where’s your mother? Your father?” her bottom lip wobbled at the question, “Dead.” She said as another fat tear rolled down her cheek. She crawled towards them, completely by-passing Cassian and holding her little arms up to Azriel. He complied, picking up the girl and resting her on his hip. “Please don’t take me back. I want to go with her.” She begged, placing her little hands on either side of his face. Azriel and Cassian had a silent conversation between them. There was no question, the girl would come with them, they would find her a good home. She'd never come back to the camps. “You don’t have to go back,” Azriel said as calmly as he could manage, “But you need to go with Cassian now, okay?” She studied him some more, “Are you coming too?” She asked, why this girl had picked him to trust he didn’t know, especially now, with shadows pouring out of him and death radiating out of his pores. Azriel nodded at her, “Yes Little One, I’m coming too, but I have to go to the camp first.” She nodded at him and let Azriel hand her to Cassian, “Ready to fly little lady?” He asked her with a grin, “I can’t fly yet. Don't know how.” She told him, Cassian ruffled her hair, “That’s okay, I’ll fly us.” He said. Azriel was already walking away, “Where are you going?” Cassian called after him, Azriel didn’t stop moving as he said. “To work.”

Rhys was waiting for him on the edge of the camp. Fucking Cassian. “Do not try and stop me, Rhysand.” Azriel warned and Rhys held his hands up in mock surrender. “Stop you?” He asked, “I’m here to help you.” That stoppped Azriel in his tracks. “To hurt an innocent like they hurt her is one thing, to be handled diplomatically as they see no issue with their ways, ways that I am trying to outlaw.” He said, “To hurt my brothers mate? That is another and for that, they will pay.” Azriel almost smiled. “You knew?” He asked, “I had my suspicions,” Rhys told him, “But I didn’t know for sure, not until today.” Rhys’ eyes glazed over for a second. “Cassian is on his way.” Azriel didn’t get time to ask his question before Rhys carried on talking. “The girl is fine, she's with Mor, she met Cassian halfway, she doesn’t know her own name though, so you’ll have to think of one for her.” Rhys told him, “Me?” Azriel asked, “Shall we start calling you Daddy Az now?” Cassian asked as he landed beside them. Azriel shoved an elbow into his ribs. “What?! Cassian asked, “She was asking for you and Y/N the whole way back.” The three of them strode into the camp, their intentions clear. Illyrians began to scatter but none got far thanks to the wards Rhys had thrown up around the camp. Malakai and his friends were easy to find.

Once the brothers had gotten their prisoners situated in that chamber far below Hewn City, Rhys and Cassian once again departed, off to tell the Lord of Ironcrest his son would not be returning, Azriel got to work. Their deaths would not be quick, would not be merciful. He would not start with their wings, oh no. That would be a day two or three job. He wouldn’t take them too early, wouldn’t let them think they had lost that what Illyrians held most dear at the start, it would take all the fight out of them and that’s what he wanted, a fight. So he’d start small, Azriel knew exactly where to cut to cause the most amount of pain with the least amount of threat to life, but they would not leave here, not alive, not whole, and certainly not through the door. When the males were groaning, bleeding and full of Fae Bane, he left them hanging by their wrists. To spend their night being tormented by the beasts below.

“Absolutely not!” Mor said as soon as she saw him. “Go and bathe.” Azriel growled at her, the need to check on Y/N and the tiny girl they had found pressing down on him so much he felt like he couldn’t breathe. “That little girl has been through enough without you showing up looking like that and terrifying her!” Mor hissed at him pushing him down the hallway towards his own room. “They are both fine, both strong.” She told him and the weight lifted enough for him to get a breath down. “Come back when you’re clean.” She said, turning away and walking back down the corridor.

Once clean, he returned. His bath had done nothing to heal the tension in his body. He found his family gathered in a tight circle, whispering amongst one another. “I want to see her.” He said, garnering their attention and Rhys nodded at him, gesturing towards the door. He and Cassian followed Rhys him in. Every muscle in his body froze when he saw her. “Before you lose it,” Rhys said, “What was done was for the best, for her health.” “For her health?” Azriel repeated as a question. “Yes, she already had a nasty infection setting in and-” Azriel cut him off, “Her wings are gone! Gone Rhys, completely gone!” He roared. “It was for the best Az, It really was.” Cassian piped up. “With the new damage caused and the infection setting in, she would’ve lost the ability to walk as well, Rhys and Madja made a difficult decision, but it was the right one.” Panic was crawling up his throat, “I can’t.” He choked out, “I can’t be here!” Gods he was pitiful, she deserved a better mate than him. One that would sit by her bedside until she woke, one that helped her through this, but Azriel could barely look at her. “Az!” Feyre called after him as he fled the room, “There's someone in the sitting room whose been asking for you since they arrived.” She said catching up with him and taking his elbow, steering him towards the sitting room.

“Mama!” Nyx called out, running into Feyre’s legs as soon as he spotted her. She picked him up, placing a kiss on each of his cheeks, “Hello my love!” She greeted him warmly. “She doesn’t know how to play.” Nyx whispered quietly to his mother and Azriel didn’t miss the longing in the little girl's gaze as she watched Feyre interact with Nyx. So, he took a deep breath to steady himself and crouched down, opening his arms to her in invitation, he was going to do something right today. She hesitated, for only a moment before a brilliant grin split across her face and she ran into his arms. “How’s your wing, Little One?” He asked as he stood with her, she extended it to show him, “The lady fixed it.” She told him and began rambling on and on about the light in Madja’s hands and the tingly creams she had used. He took a seat on the sofa, the one he clearly remembered Y/N telling him was the softest thing she had ever felt. He was going to buy her 12. The little girl situated herself in his lap, still talking a mile a minute. “They tell me you don’t know your name.” She looked up at him, her big brown eyes shining, “Never had one.” She said and his face softened, even in that cell, all those years ago he had a name. Something that belonged to him. “Why don’t we pick you one?” He asked her, so wrapped up in this child he didn’t even notice Feyre and Nyx slip out of the room. “Okay?” She agreed, sounding doubtful. “Hmm,” He mused, “What about Luna?” He asked and she screwed her nose up, “No you’re right,” He said, “Sounds like a hounds name.” She giggled at him, placing both her hands on his face again, he took a mental note to figure out why she did that. “Selena? It means the Moon?” He asked and she shook her head, “I’m not a moon! I’m a girl, silly!” He huffed out a laugh, “My mistake, Little One, Lennox?” He asked, “No!” He grinned down at her, “This is hard!” He told her and she nodded her little head in agreement. “Theodora, Theo for short?” He asked, “Does that mean moon?” She asked, “No, Little One, Theodora means Gift of God.” She pondered it for a moment, “What god?” She asked, he had no answer for that. Azriel knew in his bones that this girl was a gift of God, but it didn’t suit her. “I don’t think it suits you,” He said, “Marceline?” He asked and her face softened at the sound of it. He watched her mouth the word, testing it on her tongue. Her smile answered his question, she was Marceline, she was his Little Warrior.

Nyx came running back into the room, “Dinner!” He announced and Azriel caught the excitement on Marceline’s little face, and he wondered when the last time she ate a proper meal had been. His family would have fed her when she arrived, but a proper dinner, he didn't know. She scrambled off of his lap, “I have a name!” She told Nyx proudly, “What is it?” Nyx asked, “Marceline!” She told him, Nyx seemed to ponder the name she had told him, “Marcie.” He said, “I’m going to call you Marcie.” She grinned at him, “Let’s go!” She said, offering her hand towards Azriel to hold on the way to dinner and he felt lighter than he had in days smiling down at the two children clasping hands at his side. He made a note to talk to Cassian after dinner about turning the rooms that they used to share into somewhere for himself and Marceline to reside seeing as Cassian moved into the main bedroom with Nesta what seemed like years ago and to ask Mor to go with him for clothes and toys for the little girl. He had thought they would find her a good home, but he knew in the very marrow of his being that there was no better home for her than here, with him and hopefully Y/N. Besides, she had a built in best friend in Nyx here.

“See, she’s not scary!” Marceline told him days later when she had coaxed him into Y/N’s room. He sat stiffly in the chair next to her bed, Marceline perched on the bed next to her. Wishing he could switch places with her. She didn’t deserve to be lying there. Marceline had been begging him to come with her for days and he had finally relented. “She wasn’t scared at all, Azzy!” Marceline told him proudly, “She hit him real good until the second and third one turned up.” Azriel knew she had. He’d seen the bruises on Malakai’s face himself. “I want to learn how to fight like her!” She continued, “Nyxie says when we’re old enough we can train together but I told him we’re not going to the camps to train.” She rambled on, “He said his Daddy went to camp, with you and Cassie?” She asked, “We did, Little One, that’s where we met.” He told her, “So, Nyxie is going to be High Lord, I’ll be whatever you are and we need a Cassie!” She said and his blood ran cold at the idea of this sweet little girl being anything like him. “Nyx will be High Lord,” He agreed, “But you, you Little One, you can be whatever you want to be.” He told her, “But what if I want to be like you? A hero? Brave?” She asked him, “My Little One, you already are those things.” He told her. Movement in his peripheral vision snagged his attention. After three long days, she was waking up, “Marceline, can you go and find the others for me please?” He asked, she nodded happily, jumping off of the bed and gliding towards the floor, her little legs already running before he feet touched the wooden floorboards, “Be careful!” He called after her. Unlike the little shadow that had chosen Y/N and that had not left her side since he had found her, the one that had chosen Marceline was bigger and clung to her little wings most of the time, “Go with her, keep her safe, make sure she doesn’t run into an important meeting if Rhys is in one.” He told it. Realistically he could’ve called the others himself, but he was unsure of how Y/N was going to react, what headspace she would be in, and he needed Marceline safe and out of the way. “Keep an eye on her and Nyx, make sure they are playing.” The shadow shot off after the little girl.

Y/N:

You could hear Azriel. He was nearby and talking to someone, move, move move. You urged your hand and to your infinite surprise. It did move. He was here, he had come. You had heard everyone else over the past however long you had been in this darkness, including a little voice you didn’t know, but it rambled at you a mile a minute. “Y/N, come back to me.” Azriel spoke again and you wanted to shout at him that you were trying! Your eyes darted around the darkness and a shimmer urged you towards it. The closer you got to it the brighter it shined. A beautiful golden thread. You grasped it in one hand and pulled as hard as you could. You heard a gasp, then felt a tug back and with that your eyes flew open. “Azriel.” You said, except it didn’t come out as his name, rather a garbled mess of letters. “Here,” He said, propping you up gently with one arm and bringing a glass of water to your lips with the other and you drank deeply. “I need you to stay calm,” He said, “But I have to tell you something.” You looked up at him, “My wings are gone.” You said before he told you. He nodded, “I’m so so sorry.” He said, “If I could give you back the sky, I would.” His eyes shone with nothing but truth. “Is she okay? The little girl?” You asked and a dazzling smile graced his lips, “Ask her yourself.” He said as a little girl with big brown eyes came bounding into the room, a shadow chasing after her. “You’re awake!” She exclaimed. “I’m awake.” You told her as she scrambled onto the bed next to you, helped the last couple of inches by Azriel. “Are you okay?” You asked her, “Are you?” She replied, “I think so.” You told her. “I’m okay,” She said, “Just one little cut that's going to be a scar like Azzy’s! How cool is that?!” She asked, extending her little wing to show you. Azriel visibly cringed that this little girl thought anything about him was admirable. “What’s your name?” You asked her and she looked at Azriel with a big grin before turning back to you, “Marceline.” She said proudly, “Azzy gave it to me!” Azriel cleared his throat, “Well, technically, we picked it together.” She ignored him. “I didn’t have one before!” She told you.

Azriel sent Marceline and her shadow to go and find Nyx to play with and he was seated back in the chair next to your bed. “So, you're like a dad now?” You asked teasingly and he shrugged, “I guess so.” You smiled up at him, “It suits you.” He smiled bashfully. “Do you know?” He asked, “Know what?” You said, confusion washing over you, “What we are to each other?” He asked gently, it was then you remembered the thread and you gasped. “Are we, Mates?” You asked and he nodded. “How long have you known?” “When I found you. It snapped.” He told you. You just stared at him, “I understand if you want to reject it, if you don’t want me, I’m hardly the kind of male you deserve, hel, a 4-year-old had to drag me in here because I couldn’t face it, seeing you, looking so lifeless.” You cut him off, “Azriel?” He stopped talking, “Are those three males hanging in a dungeon somewhere, bleeding and wishing they’d never been born?” You asked and he nodded dumbly, “Of course they are, they laid hands on you, twice. You no longer have wings so neither do they.” He said, your smile clearly took him by surprise, “Then you are exactly the male I deserve, I see you, Azriel, all of you and I’m not scared.” You said softly, “Let’s just take it a day at a time, see where we end up.” He smiled, “A day at a time.” He agreed.

#acomaf #acotar #acowar #acosf #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of wings and ruin #a court of thorns and roses #acofas #a court of frost and starlight #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel

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rosemariiaa · 5 months ago

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~Love Me Anyway~

˖˙ ᰋ ── pairing: Paige x Azzi

˖˙ ᰋ ── rosie’s note: almost teared up at this one, i hate couples. posting another short fic but late tonight!

˖˙ ᰋ ── request: Inspired by the song, “Love Me Anyway” by Chappell Roan, (847 w/c)

˖˙ ᰋ ── theme: fluff

enjoy!!!

Azzi stood by the window, watching the early evening sky turn shades of orange and pink. The autumn chill had settled in, bringing a crispness to the air that reminded her of past seasons with Paige. She picked up a framed Polaroid from her table—a picture of her and Paige from USA basketball camp years ago. The memories were bittersweet, a reminder of the love that had always been complicated but deeply felt.

The doorbell rang, pulling Azzi from her thoughts. She took a deep breath and walked to the door, opening it to find Paige standing there, her cheeks flushed from the cold. Paige’s eyes met Azzi’s with a mixture of hesitation and hope.

“Hey,” Paige said softly, holding up a small bag. “I brought some stuff.”

Azzi nodded, stepping aside to let Paige in. She led Paige to the living room, where they sat across from each other. The room was filled with the warmth of a crackling fire, but the space between them felt colder.

“I saw this at the market,” Paige said, pulling out a box of Polaroid film and a photo album. “I thought we could take some new pictures. For old times’ sake.”

Azzi’s heart ached at the gesture. It was exactly like Paige to remember the small things, to want to hold onto the fragments of their past. She nodded, forcing a smile. “That sounds nice.”

As they worked together, setting up a makeshift photo booth with a camera and a backdrop, the air between them began to soften. Paige’s fingers brushed against Azzi’s as they adjusted the camera, and for a moment, Azzi was reminded of how things used to be, how Paige had always loved her despite everything.

“I’m sorry for how things ended,” Paige said suddenly, breaking the silence. “I know I made mistakes, and I didn’t always handle things right.”

Azzi looked at her, feeling a pang of regret. “I know. I wasn’t perfect either. I’m sorry, I was always scared and confused.”

Paige smiled, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “But you still loved me anyway. Even when I pushed you away, you stayed.”

Azzi’s voice trembled as she spoke. “You always came back, though. When I was too shy or scared, you always reached out. You loved me even when I was at my worst, I appreciate that P...”

They took photos, laughing softly as they captured moments that were both old and new. Each click of the camera was a reminder of their shared history, of a love that had weathered many storms.

Paige looked over at Azzi with a tender expression. “Remember when we met at U16 camp? I was too shy to even talk to you, and you seemed so distant. But you still found a way to make me feel special.”

Azzi smiled, her eyes misty. “I remember. I didn’t think we’d become so close, but you managed to break through my walls. Even when I was hesitant, you never gave up on me.”

They continued taking pictures, their laughter mingling with the soft clicks of the camera. As the evening wore on, they sat together on the couch, flipping through the album filled with their old Polaroids. The warmth from the fire and the nostalgia of the photos created a comforting atmosphere.

“You were right,” Azzi said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “After all this time, I realize how much I missed this. I missed you.”

Paige took Azzi’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I missed you too. Even with everything that happened, I always loved you anyway.”

Azzi looked into Paige’s eyes, searching for the reassurance she needed. “Do you think we could ever get back to what we had? I know things aren’t perfect, but…”

Paige’s eyes softened, and she pulled Azzi closer. “I think we can try. We’ve both made mistakes, but we’ve also had so many good times. Maybe we can start fresh, build something new from the foundation we already have.”

Azzi nodded, her heart swelling with hope. “I’d like that. I want to remember the good moments and create new ones with you.”

As they stood up to take more pictures, Paige’s arm draped around Azzi’s shoulders, pulling her close. They posed for the camera, their faces lit with genuine smiles. It wasn’t a perfect resolution, but it was a start. They both knew that their journey was far from over, but in that moment, they were willing to try. To love each other anyway, despite their past mistakes and imperfections.

The night grew darker, and the fire crackled softly in the hearth. Paige and Azzi found themselves sitting on the floor, surrounded by the scattered Polaroid prints. They talked about their favorite memories and dreams for the future, their conversation flowing easily, as if no time had passed since they last spoke.

When the firelight cast a warm glow over the room, Paige looked at Azzi with a mix of affection and determination. “We’ve been through so much, but I want to be here with you. I want to make things right, even if it means taking things slow.”

Azzi smiled, feeling a sense of peace she hadn’t felt in a long time. “Me too. Let’s take things one step at a time. We have our past, but we also have the chance to create a future.”

They shared a quiet moment, the space between them filled with unspoken understanding. Paige leaned in, her forehead resting against Azzi’s.

“I’d like to take more Polaroids,” Paige said softly. “Not just for old times’ sake, but for now. For us.”

Azzi nodded, tears welling in her eyes. “I’d like that too. I want to remember the good moments, and the ones we’re making now.”

They took more pictures, capturing their laughter and their tender looks. As they finished, they sat together, wrapped in each other’s arms, feeling the warmth of their renewed connection.

They knew that while their relationship might never be easy, it was worth every effort. And for now, that was enough.

#pazzi #azzi fudd #paige bueckers #uconn wbb #rosie’s roses<3 #rosie’s works 🎧⋆｡ °⋆

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arahdow · 9 months ago

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SMOKE

Pairing. Shadow x reader

Content. fem reader. smoking, mention of injuries. overall fluff with a hint of suggestiveness.

Word count. 0.8 k

A/N. out of nowhere i thought of this and I just knew i had to write this UGH i love him your honor. i don’t even know how to smoke but for him i would 😋 anywayyyyy no beta read ! enjoyyy !!

It’s been a long day. She knew it was a bad idea taking the first aid kit outside and bandaging her arm while watching the sunset, but she needed something good today. It didn’t matter that it was getting chilly, at least she could see something beautiful before going to sleep.

“The hell are you doing?” A gruff voice broke her concentration. Turning her head, a certain black hedgehog was walking towards her.

“Just here, looking at the sunset.” She replied simply, her healthy hand wrapping instinctively the bandage around her arm as her eyes remained locked on the sunset in front of her.

A ‘tch’ left his lips, as he suddenly snatched the band from her hand, sitting beside her to resume the wrapping. The girl looked at him, wanting to say something, but decided to stay quiet as she now could see the sunset without a worry.

They sat there in silence, his eyes and hands concentrated on covering her injury. Late that day, there had been an attack by Eggman, it would’ve been easy if only Sonic was there to lessen the damages. Truth was, he wasn’t there, but Eggman didn’t know -nor believed- that. The rest of the team fought against him, but even when they tried their best, there were a lot of injuries after everything was over. Tails was left unconscious, Amy was resting her leg that got painfully twisted, even Knuckles was spent after everything.

And at last, the girl got a shard threw at her almost leaving her armless.

Shaking her head slowly, her eyes fixated on the beautiful scenario in front of her, the way the shadows started to appear when the sun went down, how the weather got colder and the birds stopped singing. She smiled at the sight.

“Done.” Shadow said, closing the aid kit, getting on his feet. The girl not following. “What? Got an injury on your leg too?”

“No,” she said. Glancing at her arm briefly, she smiled. “Thanks for the patching, though. I’ll be here for a little longer, can’t you see the pretty sunset?”

The hedgehog said nothing, as he started walking away from where she was sitting. The space he was occupying suddenly got colder. She kind of wished he would’ve stayed, but she also knew how Shadow was. Such a lone wolf.

Her thoughts were silenced when her nose caught the scent of smoke. Was something burning? Turning around to examinate the perimeter and check if the fire was somehow closer, she noticed the figure of Shadow looming over her. He was smoking.

With furrowed eyebrows, she opened her mouth to ask about that habit that she never knew he had, but then he sat beside her again, his eyes fixated on the sunset. And she decided to keep quiet too.

The breeze was soon starting to become colder; the sun quickly being swallowed between the mountains as it left a few sunrays glowing from them, announcing the arrival of the moon that was waiting still a little translucent on the sky.

Her eyes suddenly felt the need to see how Shadow looked while smoking. It was, interesting how he seemed so nonchalant about it, when he probably wasn’t used to smoking around anyone. She knew that because she couldn’t recall a single time that someone could mention such a thing.

Shadow felt her stare, and he turned his lips blowing a puff of smoke that got lost into the air. He thought maybe she wanted to ask something but she wasn’t talking. With a confused face, he raised the cigarette once again.

But there wasn’t a cigarette. At least not in between his fingers. He looked amused at his hand and then at her. The girl took the cigarette out of nowhere and raised it to her lips, and he didn’t even notice.

“I didn’t know you were a smoker.” Shadow stated with a smirk, crossing his legs, resting his elbows on his thighs. She laughed as the smoke flew to the sky.

“I didn’t know you were.” Her words as she returned the cigarette.

“Was that a party trick?”

She cocked her head to the side. “What thing?”

“Taking the cigarette out of my hand without me noticing.” He replied, looking at her, inhaling the heat from the cig.

Chuckling, she shook her head. “It’s not something I do often. It’s been some time since the last time I did that.” She didn’t really used to go to parties, and when she went to one, she wasn’t used to flirting with people, as she only pulled that movement when she was trying to flirt on someone.

The black hedgehog smiled, noticing that the cigarette had a faint stain of lipstick. Getting the cigarette close to his face, he made sure his lips touched the same spot when taking another puff.

Blowing the smoke out, he turned at her, a smirk plastered on his face. “Good to know.”

#shadow the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog x reader #shadow x reader #sonic the hedgehog #sonic #shadow the hedgehog fluff #shadow fluff #arah ⊚ masterpieces

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oddinary4bts · 5 months ago

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Always Been You | hhj

☆ summary : when two estranged best friends meet again at their friends' wedding, an old spark reignites. You swear to yourself that you won't fall for Hyunjin again, until alcohol blurs the line between you two. Is it your fault if you find yourself drowning in the familiarity that is him?

☆ pairing: Hyunjin x female reader

☆rating: 18+ (technically 13+? There is no smut just lots of fluff)

☆genre: best friends to strangers to lovers, idol!au; fluff, some slight angst

☆warnings: mention of cheating, Hyunjin be a ghost, alcohol consumption

☆word count: 18.7k words

☆a/n: Sooo, yes I do write for both stray kids and bts. I really love this fic and I hope you guys will love it just as muuuch✨ enjoy your reading! Also I wrote this 2 years ago so obviously my writing has changed a lot but I hope you still like it!!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Prologue – five years ago

The smell of fresh rain on pavement filled your senses as you walked, legs moving in almost a half jog as you made your way to Hyunjin’s place. The hot summer air was rendered colder by the rain, and you quickened your pace as the rain doubled up.

It was unlike Hyunjin to invite you over at this time of the night, so unlike him that you had found you couldn’t say no. It was true that you had… sort of avoided him for the last week. Ever since Hangyeol had asked you out and you had said yes, to be precise.

The distant rumble of thunder had you moving into a quick sprint, right as Hyunjin’s house came into view. Though you loved the summer storms, you knew better than to stay outside when lightning was cutting through the sky.

You ran to the door, grabbing your phone to text Hyunjin that you were there. Though it was unnecessary, as the door immediately swung open in front of you.

“Hey”, Hyunjin said, moving aside to let you walk in.

“You better have a good reason for making me come here in this weather”, you said as a greeting, while Hyunjin shut the door behind you. You took off your shoes to put on slippers, before turning to look at your best friend.

“Let’s go to the playroom, I don’t want my parents to know you’re here.”

You furrowed your brows – the Hwangs had known you for a few years now, and had always liked you.

“Why?” you asked, unable to help yourself.

Hyunjin seemed to fidget for a moment, clearly uncomfortable under your gaze.

“What’s wrong with you?” you enquired, brows knit together.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, and he ran a hand through his hair anxiously.

Oh. So this was about Hangyeol.

“Let’s go to the playroom”, you repeated his words, walking around Hyunjin towards the sliding door that led to the small inner court of the house. The playroom was on the other side of the small court, and it sort of was your usual hang out spot with the rest of your friends.

You both took off your slippers as you stepped outside, grabbing them in your hands before you ran to the other side of the court as the storm had finally hit. Once you got into the playroom, you dried your feet on the carpet near the entrance, before putting your slippers back on and heading into the room proper. You sat in the L-shaped couch, Hyunjin’s foot tapping on the ground as you looked at him and an awkward silence filled the air around you.

“What’s wrong?” you asked once you couldn’t bear the silence anymore.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Hyunjin blurted out.

“I haven’t?”

“Oh.”

Another silence moved in the room, only interrupted by the tick of the clock on the wall.

This was unlike you. So unlike you that you felt dread moving through your blood.

“There’s something I need to tell you”, Hyunjin eventually said, his eyes meeting yours.

You pursed your lips, biting the inside of your bottom cheek. “What’s up?”

His foot started moving even faster, as he ran a hand through his hair. “Fuck, this is harder than I thought it would be.”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, even though you were starting to understand where this was heading to.

Hyunjin let out a nervous chuckle. “I don’t know. Jihoon-ah forced me to do this.”

As Hyunjin fell silent, you tilted your head to the side. “Do what?”

He looked away, his eyes falling on the painting that you had made with the rest of your group of friends a few months before. “I know you’ve started talking to Hangyeol. And before it’s too late, you need to know that I have feelings for you.”

He punctuated the end of his declaration with your name, uttered in a whisper that barely even reached your ears. It had the effect of a cold shower on you, and a stunned silence was all you were able to offer him.

“I… I know I’m a trainee and I don’t really have the time to… to give you what you deserve. But please don’t go with Hangyeol. He’s the worst.”

“You don’t get to tell me not to be with Hangyeol”, you let out. “Why are you telling me this now?”

Hyunjin gulped, wetting his lips. “Because he’s going to treat you like shit. He cheated on his ex.”

“They were together for two weeks, they barely even were a couple”, you said, your tone raising. “Why do you care?”

“I told you. I have feelings for you, I don’t want to see you get your heart broken.”

Little did he know that his words were breaking your heart right now. “Jinnie, you don’t get to tell me you have feelings for me. I moved on from you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“A year ago? At Seonhwa’s birthday dinner”, you said, trying to explain, but not really wanting to.

Not when he was fidgeting twice more in front of your eyes, and you felt as if he was slipping through your fingers.

“I was dumb”, he let out. “But now that you’re graduated I thought…”

“What did you think?” you asked. “That I was going to crawl back to you?”

You didn’t know why you were as angry as you were. All you knew was that the more he looked distressed, the angrier you were growing.

“You’re my best friend, nuna, I’m not talking about crawling just… I’ve been a trainee for a year now and you’re always there to support me… I was stupid last year.”

“Fuck that, you asked me to just be friends and we are now, why are you screwing that up?”

“Why am I? You’re the one who decided to pursue Hangyeol”, Hyunjin spat, his tone finally meeting the venom in yours.

You scoffed. “Hangyeol already asked me out and I said yes, Jinnie, it’s too little too late.”

A stunned silence met your words, as Hyunjin just looked at you, lips slightly parted in surprise.

Not the positive kind of surprise.

“Don’t look at me like that”, you said, crossing your arms on your chest as you glanced away. Looking at that painting, and at the memories that it held.

“You’re dating him?” he asked, voice small, after a few more seconds of silence.

You sighed deeply, slightly shaking your head. “I am. You’re just my best friend, Hyunjin-ah, and that doesn’t have to change…”

“I don’t want to watch you get played by fucking Hangyeol, of all people.”

“Then you should have been honest to me before!” you exclaimed. “You shouldn’t have waited until I was with someone else…”

“I didn’t think you’d be with someone else! I thought… I thought we’d figure it out.”

“Fuck that, we had nothing to figure out, you’re just my best friend”, you said, repeating your earlier words.

“I know, I got it”, he said, shutting his eyes as he clenched his jaw. “No need to repeat it.”

“It hurts, uh?” you said bitterly. “To be told that.”

He glanced at you, though his eyes avoided your gaze. “Can you please just calm down?”

You scoffed. “Calm down? Please, you made me come here at midnight to tell me that you have feelings for me when I’m already dating someone else, what were you expecting?”

“Not that, honestly.” He finally met your gaze, and your heart broke at the pain in his eyes. “Not that at all.”

Your mouth fell open as you tried to find a retort but came up short. All you could think about was the way your heart was constricting in your chest, and the fact that you couldn’t quite breathe.

“Let’s take a few days to think about it”, Hyunjin said. “Just please consider it.”

“I won’t”, you said. “I don’t need to think about it, I’m perfectly happy with Hangyeol.”

“You barely know him.”

“And now you’re making me feel as if I barely know you. Did you really think I was going to wait for you? You said you wanted to be friends.”

He wet his lips again, his eyes scanning your features. “I needed time, I guess.”

“It was too long”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “It’s getting late, I should go home.”

He breathed your name. “Please stay. Let’s just talk it out.”

You shook your head. “You’re the last person I want to talk to right now. Just leave me and Hangyeol alone.”

“So, you’re just going to drop our friendship like that?”

“No, I won’t. We’ll pretend tonight never happened and things will go back to how they were before.”

“I told you I don’t want to see you get your heart broken”, he said, voice small.

“Who says I’m going to get my heart broken?” you asked. “Just give him a chance.”

Hyunjin remained silent for a while, holding your gaze. You found you couldn’t quite read the expression on his face anymore, and it scared you shitless.

“If that’s what you want.”

*****

Present day

You stood behind Seonhwa, your hands a little clammy, as Jihoon was reading his vows.

Your friends’ wedding was a grand affair, one you had been expecting for quite some time now, as the two of them had been dating for what seemed like forever now. As the maid of honour, you had helped to prepare the wedding for months and to see everything going on perfectly felt quite gratifying.

Though, the sight of Jihoon’s best man made you feel… strange inside.

Hyunjin was dashing in his suit, blond hair styled in a man bun, piercing gaze moving from the couple to you every once in a while. Each time your eyes met, you felt as if your heart had forgotten how to beat.

You hadn’t seen each other in… well, years now. Though you had remained friends after that dreadful fight, you had lost touch as Hyunjin had debuted and grown distant with the whole group of friends. Or just you, apparently, if he was still Jihoon’s best man. An information Seonhwa had kept from you.

The ceremony moved on, and you tried to pay attention to it, ignoring the old ache in your chest every time Hyunjin looked at you.

You had been best friends, once. Until you had started dating your ex, and Hyunjin had confessed his feelings for you in the hope that you were not going to pursue your relationship with Hangyeol. Which honestly would have been the right thing to do, had you known any better.

Things had changed after that, and you had lost Hyunjin on your birthday the year he had debuted. He had ghosted you, actually. Had said he was going to meet you at the restaurant and had never shown up. Never answered any of your texts after that either.

Losing him had been sour, but back then you had Hangyeol, and you were happy with him. Or rather you had thought that you were happy.

After the ceremony, you moved into the reception hall, as your friends had decided to have a reception, a rare thing in Korea. The hall was a wide room decorated with plants and tall chandeliers, a room that looked straight out of a fairytale, if you were being honest. Especially with the soft fairy lights that were illuminating the place, and the crystal centerpiece that laid on each table. A long rectangular table held the presents that had been gifted to the bride and groom, even though most people had gifted money. Another long rectangular table was waiting for you all, at the end of the room.

Well, for Seonhwa, Jihoon, Hyunjin and you. The old squad, reunited after years apart.

“Have you talked to Hyunjin yet?” Seonhwa asked in ushered tones as you walked arm in arm towards your seats.

“Focus on your husband”, you reprimanded, though your eyes trailed to Hyunjin’s back.

“I can’t believe I’m married”, Seonhwa let out, looking down at the ring on her finger.

You chuckled, but you didn’t have time to talk more as you made it to your seats.

Soon enough, food was distributed, and you started eating, as the chatter of the guests filled the room with a euphoric buzz. Once dinner was over and the speeches were said, music replaced the conversation, and dancing ensued. You remained aside, looking over the evening, making sure that everything went smoothly, from the cake to the pictures.

As the night advanced, you found your maid of honour duties to finally be over, leaving you with… nothing to do but to watch the people partying and drinking. Soon enough, you found a glass in your hand, and you too indulged into the alcohol, as you watched Seonhwa and Jihoon partying as if there was no tomorrow.

“Hey”, a voice said beside you, and you didn’t have to look at the person to know who it was.

“Hey”, you let out.

You didn’t speak for a time, watching as your friends fell into a slow dance as a ballad replaced the lively beat that was playing a moment before.

“How… have you been doing?” Hyunjin asked.

You steeled yourself before glancing at him. He was much more beautiful up close, especially in the dim light. He looked… ethereal.

“I’ve been great”, you replied, politely, before your eyes moved back to the couples on the dancefloor. “How have you been doing?”

“Great”, he said. “I… it’s crazy to think that Seonhwa and Jihoon are married, uh?”

A small smile moved on your lips. “It is. We always knew that they were going to marry, though.”

“We did. Didn’t we make bets about it?”

You met his gaze again, your smile widening at the memories that filled your mind. “We did. You said they would have a kid before they married, didn’t you?”

Hyunjin chuckled. “I did. Seems like you won the bet.”

Eyes sparkling, you nodded. “I have. What was the winner supposed to get?”

“Wasn’t it a lifetime supply of bungeoppang or something of the sort?” he said.

“That, and the painting in your parents’ playroom.” You laughed as Hyunjin’s eyes widened.

“Right. Not our best work, though”, he said.

You shrugged. “You’re the only one of us who actually knew how to paint, it was to be expected.”

“You got paint all over my mother’s carpet”, Hyunjin recalled. “I had to buy a new one before she noticed.”

You laughed as your eyes moved back to your friends. “You didn’t want to move it, it was your fault.”

“Mmh, maybe”, Hyunjin let out, nodding slightly. “At least she didn’t notice.”

“Do you remember when we burned it? It smelled so bad!”

“It did.” He nodded as he put his hands in his pockets. “We were lucky we weren’t caught.”

“We really were. I think your mom would have hated me forever”, you said, a pensive look taking over your features as you recalled his mother.

You hadn’t seen the woman in forever.

“My mom has always loved you, she wouldn’t have batted an eyelash.” He shrugged as you met his gaze, an eyebrow cocked quizzically. “Trust me, as long as she hadn’t thought me responsible, we would have been good.”

“Right.”

Silence moved around you, and you took a sip of your glass.

“How’s work going?” he asked, words aimed to fill a silence you knew he wasn’t comfortable in.

“Great! I mean, I’ve published my first book”, you said shyly, avoiding his gaze.

He wet his lips. “I know, I’ve read it.”

Your eyes widened as you looked up to meet his gaze. “You have?”

He chuckled at the look on your face. “I rather liked Chung Hee. He kind of felt similar.”

You knew you had turned completely red when he started laughing.

“I… uh… right”, you let out, fumbling on your words. “I hope you didn’t mind.”

“No, on the contrary”, he said. “I liked it. Chung Hee and Cha Young’s ending was better than ours, though.”

“I didn’t want to write a book with a sad ending”, you said, your eyes falling to the glass in your hands.

“I… I missed you, Y/n.”

It was the raw truth behind those words that had you looking up at him again.

“I’m sorry for how things happened. I was a shit friend.”

“It’s okay”, you said, voice small. “I’m over it, now.”

He nodded once, before looking away, as the ballad ended and was replaced by another lively beat.

“You were right anyway”, you added after a time.

“About what?”

“I… assume Jihoon and Seonhwa told you about what happened with Hangyeol?” you asked.

He pursed his lips, before nodding. “Yeah.”

“So, at the end of the day, I probably should have listened to you”, you said, shrugging your shoulders. “But it’s all in the past now.”

He nodded once again. “It is. But I shouldn’t have acted the way that I did. I know it was a long time ago, but it sucked.”

“The night we fought, or when you ghosted me?” you asked, a tiny bit of venom seeping into your voice.

“Both. Mostly the ghosting, though. It was childish.”

It was strange to see how Hyunjin had matured. You didn’t quite feel like he was the teenager you had known, and you rather saw the adult in him. The man he was becoming every day.

“It was. But I’m not angry at you anymore. Being angry over stuff like that is a waste of time”, you said. Voice soft, because you wanted to reassure him. Wanted to relieve him of the heaviness that suddenly seemed to be plaguing him.

“You’re being too kind”, he let out, before sighing. “I don’t think I deserve your forgiveness.”

“Then why have you come to talk to me?” you asked, voice small.

He looked at you, scanning your features for a while before he spoke. “I wanted to apologize. When I saw you earlier… all the memories came flooding back. I don’t like the person that I was then, and I hate that I treated you the way that I did.”

“It’s okay, Jinnie, it really is. I’m over it now.”

His lips spread into a soft smile. “You’re as great as I remembered you to be.”

You chuckled slightly. “I’m the best, I know.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, don’t start with that.”

“The door was wide open, of course I had to start.”

He laughed lightly, his eyes sparkling for a moment. Your heart stuttered in your chest, and you took another long sip of your drink to calm yourself down.

“We should hang out again”, he said. “You could come to my next concert. You always said that you were going to be my number one fan.”

A soft smile moved on your lips. “Oh, I’ve been following your journey through the K-pop industry, don’t worry about it.”

“Have you now?” He smirked and you chuckled.

“Of course. Just because we had a falling out doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to support you.”

He cocked his head to the side. “You know, a small part of me always imagined you cheering in the crowd. I’m glad I was right.”

You let out a loud laugh. “I’ve never been to any of your concerts, to be fair.”

You hadn’t been able to, even if you had gotten tickets twice.

“All the more reasons for you to come to the next one. We have one here in Seoul next week.”

“I’ll gladly come if you introduce me to Changbin”, you said, winking at him.

He scrunched up his nose as if in disgust. “I’m not even your bias?”

“Nah, you lost that privilege after you acted like a dick.” You shrugged, but mischief still lit up your gaze. “Besides, I’m more into Bangtan anyway.”

“Right, you already were into BTS back in high school”, he said, laughing. “But if I’m not your bias, then I don’t think you can come to my concert, unfortunately.”

It was his turn to wink at you.

“Your loss, then”, you said. “I have much better stuff to do anyway.”

“Of course you do. Like writing about me in a book.”

“Please, Chung Hee was merely inspired by you. I just used some of our stories.”

“Like that time we sneaked in the principal’s office.”

“Precisely like that.”

“And when you were sick because of some seafood and I had to take care of you.”

A blush crept on your cheeks. “You really read the book, did you?”

“Twice, actually. Seonhwa made me read it when she realized it was about us.”

You shook your head. “It isn’t about us. We never ended together.”

The silence that followed filled with tension as Hyunjin looked at you, his gaze intense with emotions you hadn’t expected to find there. Didn’t want to find there either.

“We indeed haven’t”, he said after a time. “Maybe… maybe we could try being friends again, though?”

It was hopeful, and it was what you wanted the most. Because talking to him right now had reminded you of what it had been like to have him in your life. The familiarity with which you interacted… you needed it, really. More than you imagined.

“I would like that very much”, you said, nodding slightly. “I miss your mother’s cooking.”

Hyunjin burst out laughing. “Of course that’s what you think of.”

“You can’t blame me, her kimchi is legendary.”

“I’ll ask her to make a batch for you, I’ll bring it at the concert.”

You grinned. “You better, if you want me to consider you as my bias.”

“Nuna, we both know I’ve always been secretly your bias.”

“Right.” You chuckled, glancing at the people around you.

Strangely enough, talking with Hyunjin made you feel … alone in the world. As if it was just you two, and you had an eternity in front of you.

“How have your parents been doing?” Hyunjin asked, the question taking you by surprise.

“Great! Awesome, really. They spend half the year in Toronto now, and my brother has gone back to Canada full time.”

“Oh, he has? He never really adapted to Seoul, didn’t he?”

You shrugged. “He was older when we came here so I guess… I guess it was harder for him? He was in his last year of high school and he barely was able to make any friends.”

“Yeah, I remember. You were always concerned for him.”

You nodded. “Still am. Though he’s engaged now, and they are expecting a child.”

“Adoption?”

“Yeah! Funnily enough, his boyfriend is Korean, but they met back in Toronto.”

Hyunjin chuckled. “Awesome. He couldn’t fully escape Korea, couldn’t he?”

You laughed lightly. “Who can blame him, even I am in love with the Korean people, and you know how I hate people.”

Hyunjin laughed, before smirking. “Of course you are. That’s why I was always your favourite in high school.”

“You’re aware that everyone but me was Korean, right?”

He shrugged. “I still was your favourite, wasn’t I?”

You looked up, as if deep in thoughts. “Mmmh, I think I’ve always liked Jihoon better.”

“How scandalous, now that he’s married to Seonhwa.”

“I shall live my life in the regrets of never having told him he’s the better part of our group of friends”, you said, hand on your heart.

Hyunjin grinned goofily. “What a sad life.”

“At least I’ve got you as a consolation prize”, you said, winking at him as he furrowed his brows.

“Do you really, though?”

He winked as you pursed your lips to keep from smiling.

“You’re insufferable.”

“Always”, he said, cocking an eyebrow. “Especially if it annoys you.”

You chuckled, as silence moved around you. Though it was not an awkward silence. It felt comfortable with the familiarity that you always had had for each other… and you found you rather quite enjoyed it. Rather quite enjoyed that time and distance hadn’t changed you one bit. Even after the ache you both had caused the other.

“Do you want to dance?” Hyunjin asked, and your eyes widened slightly.

“I can’t dance with you, you’re a professional”, you replied quickly, as a small blush crept on your cheeks.

He shrugged. “Please, that’s never stopped you before.”

“You were barely a trainee back then, it doesn’t count”, you mumbled, as your heart raced in your chest.

He held out a hand for you, a small smile on his lips. Your eyes fell to his fingers, and you couldn’t help but notice the slight tremor of them.

So, he was anxious, too.

“Your loss if I step on your feet”, you finally said, grabbing his hand lightly, skin barely touching because you didn’t know if you’d be able to really hold him.

Not when your heart seemed to be dancing to its own beat now, a beat you didn’t know was echoed in his own chest too.

Hyunjin led you to the dancefloor, right as a song ended and a new one began. A wide smile spread on your lips as you realized it was a BTS song.

“Too bad they haven’t put any Stray Kids in the playlist, uh?” you said.

Hyunjin threw a puzzled expression your way, before leaning forward.

“What?” he asked.

You moved a little closer, so you could talk directly in his ear. “I said too bad they haven’t put any Stray Kids on the playlist.”

Hyunjin chuckled, and his warm breath tickled your ear as he moved even closer to speak. “That would have been a tad awkward, no?”

“Mmh, you could have shown us some of your choreographies, I’d say that would have been a win for all of us.”

He laughed once again, and you shut your eyes. The proximity of him… it felt so natural, and yet wrong. Wrong, because he had just barely come back into your life. You didn’t want to risk losing him by doing something stupid.

“Come to my next dance rehearsal. Then you can see me dance.”

He pulled away, just enough to look into your eyes.

“I’ll even introduce you to Changbin.”

Your cheeks once again tinted with pink. “That would be awesome.”

“But first, show me your moves, nuna.”

You chuckled, before downing the rest of your glass. “I hope you’re ready for a disaster.”

“It would never be a disaster with you.” He winked at you, and you shook your head as you rolled your eyes.

“I didn’t remember you being a flirt”, you said, but before he could say anything else, Seonhwa threw her arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer.

Seonhwa drunkenly said your name in your ear, making you laugh lightly. “Dance with me.”

And just like that, Seonhwa pulled you away from Hyunjin, and the two of you started dancing together, laughing as you moved along to the music.

“You’ve been talking to Hyunjin-ah”, Seonhwa said as you spun in a circle.

You chuckled. “I would have continued if you hadn’t pulled me away from him.”

“I’m just waiting for the next slow song so I can push you back in his arms.”

You shared a laugh, before you looked down at the glass in your hand.

“I should go put that down somewhere before I drop it here and there’s glass everywhere.”

“Well, come back quickly, I asked for a slow song next”, Seonhwa said. “I’m not letting you avoid Hyunjin any longer.”

“I’m not avoiding him, you literally pulled me away from him”, you grumbled, glancing over her shoulder to meet Hyunjin’s gaze.

He smiled and you smiled back, though Seonhwa caught your attention once again.

“He’s been talking about you, you know”, Seonhwa let out, voice barely above a whisper.

The only reason why you heard was because the song ended, and the promised ballad started.

“You told him to read my book”, you said reproachfully.

Seonhwa shrugged. “Yeah. It didn’t take a lot of convincing, he had already bought it.”

Your eyes widened. “He had?”

“You seem to forget that you were best friends once.”

“He ghosted me”, you reminded your friend.

Heads started turning your way as your tones became more vehement, and as you stood unmoving in the middle of the dancefloor while people slow-danced around you.

“Because he couldn’t see you with Hangyeol”, Seonhwa explained. “Surely you were aware of that.”

“We were just friends”, you said, gaze flickering around at the few people that were looking at you.

Seonhwa didn’t know about your fight. Unless Hyunjin had told her, but she had never mentioned anything…

“You never looked at him as if he was just your friend.”

You clenched your jaw. “It’s your wedding, let’s not talk about this.”

“Y/n…” Seonwha let out, but you were already walking away.

To where, you didn’t know. All you knew was that you had to get away.

On your way out, you put your empty glass down on a table, not once looking back to see if someone was following you. There was a garden outside, and you walked to the middle of it, where you found a small gurgling fountain next to which you sat, eyes moving up to the starry night sky.

You took a deep breath to calm down the wild beats of your heart, as you scolded yourself. For causing a scene at your best friend’s wedding, mostly. But for also thinking that everything between you and Hyunjin could be fixed by a simple conversation.

You had to remind yourself that you didn’t know him anymore. And no matter how much you had missed him, he had still been the one to ghost you. On your birthday, of all moments. Were you ever going to be able to forgive him for that?

The answer to that came to you far quicker than you thought it would, as the shuffling of footsteps was heard over the gurgling of the fountain. Your gaze moved towards the path from which you had come, down which Hyunjin was now walking. Towards you.

He looked even better under the light of a thousand stars, if that was possible.

“Are you okay?” he asked, walking closer.

His hands were in his pockets, and he looked the perfect picture of nonchalance. As if everything that was in your past didn’t matter anymore.

And truly, maybe it didn’t.

“Yeah, sorry”, you said, looking down at your hands in your lap. “I needed a breather.”

“Can I sit with you?” he asked as he stopped a few steps in front of you, as if not wanting to invade your privacy.

You nodded, patting the stone bench next to you. “Yeah, come here.”

He smiled, and soon enough he was sat next to you. Almost close enough for your thighs to touch, and the space between you felt alive with electricity.

“Don’t listen to Seonhwa”, Hyunjin said after a moment of silence. “She really wanted to set us up tonight.”

“What?” you let out, bewilderment filling your entire being.

He chuckled lightly. “Seonhwa is a busybody, and she has taken it upon herself to set us up. She said we should have always been together.”

“She didn’t tell me that”, you admitted. “I… She knows we’re not even friends anymore.”

Hyunjin seemed to tense next to you. “And that’s my fault. I’ll forever hate myself for it.”

You scanned his profile as he was looking down at the ground in front of his feet.

“But I’ve matured”, he added after a time. “And I don’t want to live my life without you in it.” He looked up to meet your gaze. “You were my best friend, Y/n. You still are.”

“Hyunjin-ah…” you let out breathlessly.

“I’m serious, it fucking sucks without you around.”

Silence met his words, as the echoes of them seemed to fill the air around you.

“Seonhwa really shouldn’t interfere in stuff that doesn’t concern her”, you eventually whispered.

He chuckled. “Yeah, indeed.”

Another few beats of silence passed, as you just exchanged a long look. A look that conveyed more than words ever could.

“I’ll come to your dance rehearsal and your concert, Jinnie. It fucking sucks without you in my life too”, you finally said.

The warm smile that grew on his lips put the stars to shame. “I would love that. Let’s be friends again.”

“Let’s please be”, you agreed.

He wet his lips, as his eyes twinkled with emotions. The same emotions he could see in your own eyes, you were sure of it.

“You look beautiful, by the way”, he breathed. “I wanted to tell you earlier, but I didn’t really know how to approach you.”

You blushed, looking away from him. “Stop it. You aren’t usually one to compliment me.”

“It’s a new friendship, let’s set different rules for it”, he said, shrugging. “If you want.”

“You… just friends, right?”

He nodded. “I can’t offer you more anyway.” He paused, as you remained silent. “Not that you would want more, but you know what I mean.”

You almost said that you had wanted more since that day he had confessed to you, but you kept it in. Because it wasn’t entirely true, and your mind was just drowning in the softness of the moment.

“I do.” You nodded, a small smile growing on your lips.

And even though your heart seemed to beat steadier when he was next to you, you knew that you would be content in being just his friend. It was better than not having him in your life anyway.

*****

You bit your bottom lip, as anxiety moved through your blood. You had been anxious ever since you had gotten to the dance rehearsal, even more as Hyunjin had introduced you to the seven other band members. Who all seemed to know who you were already, and you didn’t quite know what to make of it.

You were currently at JYP entertainment’s studios, a place you had never expected you’d visit one day. The room in which you were was wide, with mirrors along one of the walls, in front of which the boys had been dancing for a while.

That also meant that you were hearing one of their unreleased songs on repeat, and you had had to sign an agreement not to record anything. It had all been very awkward, and you almost regretted coming. Especially after you were told you would have to sit in one corner of the room, from which the camera that was filming them couldn’t see you.

You hadn’t realized what being friends with Hyunjin was going to be like until you were sat in that corner.

“Fuck”, Hyunjin cursed as he plopped himself down next to you.

You looked at him as he wiped the sweat on his brow.

“I’m sorry I barely can talk to you”, he apologized. “I didn’t know we were going to be recorded today.”

You shrugged. “It’s okay, it feels like a private show.”

And it kind of did, but mostly it felt as if you were stuck in some kind of a dream.

You didn’t know if you liked it.

“Hope you enjoy it”, Hyunjin said, smiling as he took a deep breath. “It wouldn’t be so damn long if we didn’t keep messing up.”

“You’re the one messing up”, Changbin said as he stopped next to you two.

You looked up, meeting his gaze for half a moment before looking away.

You didn’t know what Hyunjin had told Changbin about you, but he was the member that had spoken to you the most ever since you had gotten here.

“We don’t usually have spectators”, Hyunjin said, shrugging.

You chuckled. “You perform in front of crowds all the time.”

“He’s been anxious about you being here”, Changbin admitted, and Hyunjin sprung to his feet.

“Shut it”, he said, pushing Changbin playfully as the guy laughed.

“Just being honest.” Changbin shrugged, and you chuckled as you watched Hyunjin’s cheeks turning red.

“Don’t listen to him”, Hyunjin said, meeting your gaze.

He held out a hand for you to take and you grabbed it as he pulled you to your feet.

“They’re just jealous that I’ve got a pretty girl coming to see me”, he added, winking at you as Changbin burst out laughing.

You knew you had turned beet red, but you tried to play it cool.

“So you think I’m pretty, uh?” you teased as you let go of his hands. “Too bad I really came here to see Changbin.”

Changbin’s eyes widened as he looked between the two of you. “Don’t bring me into this.”

“Who can blame you, Changbin’s the best of us”, Felix said as he threw an arm around said boy’s shoulders.

You laughed lightly, glancing at Hyunjin as you felt the weight of his gaze on you. He was smiling softly, and it warmed you inside.

Felix said something to Changbin that you couldn’t hear, and a second later the two boys were walking away, leaving you alone with Hyunjin.

“Do you like the new song?” he asked after a moment.

You nodded quickly. “Oh, it’s really good. I’m going to have it stuck in my head for a while now though.”

“The perks of hearing a song on repeat for hours on end”, Hyunjin said, laughing. “We should be done soon though.”

“No pressure, I have nothing to do today anyway.”

“Then if you want, I can give you a tour of the studios after?” he suggested, running a hand through his half-undone hair.

Though he had tied his hair back, dancing had caused him to be quite disheveled… and yet he still looked so effortlessly good.

It was unfair, really.

“Sure, I’d love to”, you accepted. “Only if we get something to eat too, I’m starving.”

Just on cue, your stomach grumbled, earning you a laugh from Hyunjin.

“Of course I’ll get you something to eat.” He undid his half bun, blond hair falling around his face.

You just watched him in awe as he tried to pull it back into a new bun, but failed to do so.

“Do you need help?” you asked, chuckling, as a few strands of hair escaped the bun.

“Honestly, I think I do.” He handed you the hair tie, before turning around.

You hoped he couldn’t feel your hands shaking as you raised them and ran them through his hair, once.

“You’ll have to bend down, you’re too tall for me”, you said, voice small.

“Right.” He obeyed, and you once again ran your hands through his hair.

It was silky soft, just like you remembered it, even though it was sweaty. You skillfully tied it back, massaging his scalp for a little before taking a step back.

Ignoring the way you could see Minho and Han looking at you and speaking in ushed tones.

“Thanks, nuna”, Hyunjin said as he straightened and turned to look at you, blocking the view of his band mates. “I’ll have to go back now, but we shouldn’t be long still.”

You nodded, pulling on the dry skin of your bottom lip. Hyunjin’s eyes dipped down to your lips, and you felt your cheeks burning.

Though they had been burning for a while, now, in all honesty.

You heard Hyunjin taking a deep breath before he turned around and walked away, leaving you standing there and feeling awkward.

You clearly couldn’t manage that friend thing at all.

You sat back down, fiddling with your fingers as the music started playing once again, and they went through the choreography a few times.

That distracted you from your thoughts… until you realized you were paying way too much attention to the way that Hyunjin was moving his body. It was then that you grabbed your phone instead of paying attention, because really you didn’t think you could trust your thoughts anymore.

You scrolled on Instagram while the boys practiced, not even realizing that the music had stopped until someone grabbed your phone out of your hands.

“Hey!” you let out.

“What are you doing?” Hyunjin asked. “Are we boring you?”

You scrambled to your feet, trying to grab your phone from Hyunjin’s hands, but he put it over his head, out of your reach.

“No, give me my phone”, you grumbled.

“Instagram is better than our dance rehearsal?” he asked as he looked up, scrolling on your phone. “Wait, were you really watching edits of us?”

“Give me my phone”, you begged as you tried to get to it.

He looked down at you, and you only then realized how close you were standing. Only then realized that you had put one hand on his chest to try to get to your phone.

You didn’t move for a time, only holding each other’s gaze. You looked between his two eyes, breath coming up short, until you glanced down at his lips.

That seemed to startle him out of the trance you had been in, and he took a step back, which almost made you stumble forward.

“Here”, he said, cheeks red and you grabbed your phone, a shot of electricity running through your arm as your fingers touched.

“Thanks”, you breathed as you looked down at the device to turn it off. “Are you finished yet?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I can give you a tour now. Unless you want to eat first.”

He looked behind him, which had you looking at the other members too.

“I think the boys are going to get a bite and some drinks now, so it’s really up to you”, he said.

His eyes found yours again. “I… I don’t mind, do you want to go with them?”

He chuckled. “As long as you’re with me, I don’t mind what we do.”

You blushed, chuckling lightly. “Well then, we can go with them. If they don’t mind, that is.”

“Of course they don’t mind”, Hyunjin reassured you. “They’re going back home, though.”

“Right, you all live together”, you said.

He nodded. “Yeah, so I can give you a tour another time, maybe?” He scratched the nape of his neck, tilting his head to the side. “If you’d like that, of course.”

“Yeah. Yes, definitely.” You looked at Bang Chan, who was walking towards you.

“So, are you guys coming?” he asked.

“Yeah, we’ll be right behind you”, Hyunjin replied.

“Don’t be too long, we’re starving.” Bang Chan smiled at you, before meeting up with the boys at the door. They exited the room, leaving you and Hyunjin alone, as the staff had already left too.

“Thank you for coming”, Hyunjin said. “I really am sorry I couldn’t talk to you more.”

A smile grew on your lips. “It’s fine, Jinnie, at least we’re hanging out now.”

He chuckled. “Yeah. And you’ll be happy to know I have some of my mom’s kimchi at the dorm.”

Your eyes lit up as you grinned. “This is the best day of my life.”

His lips spread into a smile too, and he nodded towards the door. “I can get you some of that bungeoppang too. Since you won the bet about Seonhwa and Jihoon.”

“Right, I had forgotten about that”, you said, laughing lightly. “Let’s do that. You’re going to have to give me that painting too.”

“It’s in my room, just leave with it”, he said, smiling. “It’ll be missed dearly, though.”

“Wait”, you said, eyes widening. “You brought it to your dorm?”

He wet his lips, nodding. “Yeah, how else was I supposed to remember where I came from?”

“A weird way to keep you humble.”

He shrugged, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “The dorm needed decoration anyway, so I figured why not.”

“Right.” You chuckled. There was a silence, during which you just looked at each other. You didn’t like the way that it made you feel inside, but you couldn’t stop looking at him. “Should we go, before the members leave without us?”

“I’ll grab my stuff, hold on.”

You watched as he jogged to the other side of the room, where he had left a duffel bag with god knows what in it, as he hadn’t even touched it. You followed him as he aimed for the door, turning to look at you.

“I’m really happy you came”, he said, a soft smile lighting up his eyes.

“That’s what she said”, you joked, and Hyunjin burst out laughing.

“I really fucking missed your childish jokes”, he said as you left the room.

You grinned wickedly. “Happy to provide with your daily dose of bad jokes.”

He laughed, eyes crinkled with his smile. “Hopefully you won’t start with puns again.”

“Seonwha has always been better than me with puns, don’t worry about it.”

You continued chatting for a while, falling back into your usual familiarity, all tension gone from the conversation. You made it to the dorm as you talked and joked and laughed, as if no time had passed between you. As if you still were kids in high school, with no responsibilities and worries in life.

It was healing, really. To be with him like that again.

And even though you hadn’t known his band mates before today, they all were welcoming too. Warm, even, though they all seemed to be keeping some sort of a distance. It had you wondering what Hyunjin had said about you, and you figured it was better if you didn’t know.

After you all ate – Hyunjin’s mom’s kimchi was as good as you remembered – you sat in the living room of one of their dorms, drinking soju and beer and chatting about everything and nothing. The boys eventually started playing Smash on a switch, and you found yourself sitting on the couch, between Hyunjin and Changbin. The latter was sitting really close to you, and the heat of his body made you feel… strange inside.

All the stranger, because each time you looked at Hyunjin he had a knowing smile on his lips.

Was he trying to set you up with Changbin?

“Should we invite Hayoon and her friends?” Bang Chan said from where he was laying on the floor.

“You want a consolation prize because I’ve just beaten your ass in Smash?” Felix asked.

Bang Chan threw a pillow at Felix, and the group laughed.

Only you seemed to have noticed that Hyunjin had tensed next to you.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” Seungmin asked. “Didn’t she have sex with Jinnie last week?”

That explained Hyunjin’s tensing. Your eyes widened slightly, and you glanced at Hyunjin as the boy seemed to want to disappear through the floor.

“Shut up, Seungmin”, Hyunjin grumbled.

There was a silence, and Bang Chan, Felix and Seugmin turned to look at Hyunjin. The latter’s eyes widened as he glanced at you, before resuming his attention on Hyunjin.

“Sorry bro”, Seungmin let out.

There was another awkward silence, only interrupted by the music of the game on the television. Bang Chan eventually scraped his throat, before handing his controller to Jeongin.

“Should we play another round?” he asked. “Who hasn’t played yet?”

Though you hadn’t played, you remained silent, sipping on your beer instead. You had never been quite a fan of beer, but you had assumed that drinking would help ease your nerves. It seemed you had been wrong.

Or maybe realizing that Hyunjin had an entire side to him that you didn’t know of was making you feel anxious.

“Do you want to play?” Changbin asked you, voice low so only you could hear.

You blushed slightly – talking to one’s bias was definitely not an easy feat.

“I’m trash, I don’t think I should play”, you replied and he chuckled.

“It doesn’t matter, we’re just playing around”, he reassured you, smiling softly.

You nodded once. “Alright then, I guess I can play.”

Changbin handed you the controller he was holding and you put your beer down on the coffee table in front of you. You sat back in the couch, glancing once at Hyunjin, who was looking down at the bottle he was holding.

“Do you know how to play?” Changbin asked.

“She’s just going to press all the buttons and call it a day”, Hyunjin said from beside you.

You stifled a laugh and you turned your head towards him.

The small smile on his lips reassured you in ways you couldn’t quite yet understand.

“And what about it?”

He laughed and you smiled softly, before turning back towards Changbin.

“I’ll be fine, I don’t care if I lose”, you said and Changbin chuckled.

“Jeongin is good, so you were probably going to lose anyway.”

You all laughed, and then started playing the game. You chose the Wii fit trainer as your character, which led to you being unable to stop laughing during all the fight, and of course Jeongin beat your ass. Though you couldn’t even stop laughing afterwards, especially not when Hyunjin played next and won against Jeongin, by playing with said Wii fit trainer.

You kept on playing for a while, and soon enough your mind was buzzing with alcohol and you felt far more comfortable with all the boys. It helped that Hyunjin was being a little sassy shit, and you and Changbin teamed up against him, teasing him to no end.

It was one hell of a great night, if you were being honest to yourself.

“How did you guys meet?” Changbin asked later that night, after Felix, Minho, Seungmin and Jeongin had gone back to their own dorm.

Bang Chan had disappeared in his room a while ago too, but Han was still with you, playing Smash online. He was currently winning his fourth game in a row.

“His first day of high school”, you said. “I was showing his class around the school and he started talking to me because he wanted to know where I was from.”

“And you had a tea and you dropped it on me, don’t forget”, Hyunjin recalled, tone teasing. “You’re lucky it wasn’t hot anymore.”

“You’re the one who ran into me, dumbass”, you said, laughing. “Wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t been looking at me like that instead of looking at where you were going.”

“I was following you, of course I was looking at you! You just stopped dead in your tracks.”

“Mmh”, you let out.

You both turned towards Changbin, who had followed your exchange with slightly widened eyes.

“That’s cute”, he said as you just looked at him.

You all chuckled and then Han cheered, gaining your attention as he won his fifth game in a row.

“I’m on fire tonight baby”, he said, and Hyunjin high-fived him before sitting back in the couch.

“You’re only winning because you’re not playing against one of us”, he said.

Han turned towards Hyunjin, an offended look on his features. “Fuck off, Jinnie.”

You all started laughing, and then Han handed Hyunjin a controller.

“If you think you’re so good, then try to win against me.”

“I’ve drunk way too much for that”, Hyunjin admitted, shaking his head no. “Though I’d take another beer.”

You chuckled, feeling pretty drunk yourself. “I think we drank everything you guys had.”

“This is the end of the world”, Hyunjin said, putting a hand on his heart dramatically. “We’re all going to die.”

“Shut up, loser.” You laughed, punching him playfully in the shoulder.

Though you were still sitting closer to Changbin, the space between you and Hyunjin once again filled with electricity. As it often did now.

Hyunjin grabbed your hand, a smirk moving over his features. “We should play against each other. I’m pretty sure I’ll beat your ass.”

“Anyone here could beat my ass”, you complained. “Why would I play against you?”

“If you win I’ll let you sleep in my bed”, he said, head tilting to the side. “I’ll take the couch.”

You furrowed your brows. “Who said I’m sleeping here?”

Changbin chuckled from beside you, as if aware of what Hyunjin was planning. Because clearly, he was up to no good.

“I did”, Hyunjin replied, shrugging. “I won’t let you walk home so late.”

Brows still knit together, you grabbed your phone to check the time. “Oh shit.”

Han laughed as he threw you a look over his shoulder.

“So, you’re staying tonight”, Hyunjin declared. “And you get the bed if you win against me.”

“I’d say yes if I were you, Y/n”, Changbin said from beside you. “Chan’s room is close and he snores loudly, you don’t want to have to sleep in the living room.”

You glanced at Changbin, before returning your gaze to Hyunjin’s. “It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.”

His smirk only widened. “Well then, why don’t we head to bed? I’m tired.”

Right on cue, he yawned, which in turn made you yawn too. Changbin and Han remained silent, as if aware that you two needed privacy for a moment.

“You promise to stay on your side of the bed?” you asked softly.

“Of course, nuna”, he replied gently, his smirk melting into a soft smile. “Shall we?” he asked, getting up and extending a hand out for you to take.

You did, entwining your fingers, before glancing at Changbin.

“It was nice to meet you”, you told him, before looking towards Han, who had started another game. “You too, Jisung.”

“Nice to meet you”, the two boys echoed, and you got up to follow Hyunjin to his bedroom.

Strangely enough, it felt as if your heart was going to burst in your chest. And not because you were happy, but rather because you were becoming more and more anxious with every step you took. You could feel Hyunjin’s hand shaking in yours, so you knew he was feeling exactly the same way.

What was wrong with you?

You walked into Hyunjin’s bedroom, and the boy closed the door behind you as you took a few steps forward in the cool darkness of the room. Red LED lights turned on, and you spun around to look at Hyunjin.

You looked at each other in silence for a time, until your eyes scanned the room, landing on the painting that was hung over his bed.

“I can’t believe you’ve put it on display like that”, you murmured, right as Hyunjin moved farther into his room, sitting on the side of his bed.

“It holds great memories, how could I not?” he whispered.

You walked to his side, sitting next to him, as he looked at his hands in his lap.

“I know we have barely started to talk again…” you started, putting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around you to pull you closer. “But I’m really happy to be here with you.”

“You have no idea how happy I am too”, he replied, putting his head on top of yours. “You remind me of before.”

“Before what?” you asked curiously.

“All of this”, he said, motioning with his other hand to your surroundings. “Sometimes I forget that I wasn’t always an idol… and I miss it. I miss when life was simpler.”

You pursed your lips, moving a little closer to him. “I miss it too. Not when you weren’t an idol, because to me you haven’t changed, but when we used to make memories every day. Those are the best memories of my life.”

“Even when I accidentally burned some of your hair with your curling iron?”

You chuckled, smiling fondly at the memory. “Even that. All of it, if I’m being honest.”

Though you had looked quite weird for a time, as the strand of hair hadn’t grown back in over a year.

Hyunjin sighed and you looked up at him, pulling away slightly so you could gaze into his eyes.

“We were stupid, weren’t we?” he asked.

It was your turn to sigh. “We were young. Stupidity and youth often go hand in hand together.”

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “We’re still young, you know that, right?”

You nodded. “We’re not teenagers anymore, though. So, we’re a little less stupid.”

“I wish I still was stupid”, he murmured, as his eyes dipped to your lips.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you became all too aware of every inch of him that was touching you. “Please don’t”, you breathed.

He slightly nodded before getting up and moving away from you. “You’ve never dated after Hangyeol, have you?” he asked as he started rummaging through a drawer.

The change of subject had the effect of a cold shower on you. “No. Well, yes and no. I went on a blind date once, but it didn’t go well.”

“Mmh”, he let out, as he got an oversized white sweater out of the drawer. He threw it at you and you caught it, looking at him quizzically. “So, you don’t sleep in your clothes.”

“Oh”, you said. You looked down at yourself, and then at his unmade bed. “You still don’t make your bed.”

He chuckled, and when you turned to look at him your mind went completely blank.

He had taken off his shirt without you realizing.

You blushed, looking down at the sweater in your hands, as your heart went crazy in your chest. You heard him putting on a shirt more than you saw him, and you didn’t look up until he moved closer to you.

“There’s a bathroom outside of my room. First door to the right, if you want to get changed in private.”

You nodded, before getting up. “You’re sure you don’t mind me sleeping here?”

He smiled, cocking an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just say it isn’t our first time sleeping together anyway?”

You rolled your eyes, before moving around him to head to the door. “Right, never mind.”

His laugh followed you out of the bedroom, and you went to the bathroom, where you changed, hands trembling slightly at the thought of putting on some of his clothes.

Just like when you were younger.

You moved back to his bedroom when you were done, only dressed in the oversized sweater, which rested around the middle of your thigh. Not something you would have worn in public, but it would suffice for sleeping.

Hyunjin was already in bed, scrolling on his phone, when you walked in. He glanced at you, and quickly looked away as you put your clothes down on the chair of his desk. He had put a wall of pillows in the middle of the bed, and you laughed as you moved closer.

“Did you really do that?” you asked, sitting on the left side of the bed.

He looked at you from his side. “I figured you wanted your privacy.”

You smiled softly. “How kind.”

You settled down under the covers, turning to face Hyunjin. You pulled down one of the pillows until his face came into view.

“I like the LED lights”, you said. “Gives the room a chill vibe.”

He looked around, before resuming his attention on you. “It does. Red is better when you go to bed anyway.”

You furrowed your brows.

“Something about your brain producing melatonin”, he said, shrugging his shoulders – which proved to be awkward in his position.

“Right”, you nodded.

You looked at each other for a time, until you looked away. Holding his gaze was becoming far too difficult when he looked at you like… that.

“You keep your hair tied back when you sleep?” you asked, trying to change the subject.

Change it from what, you didn’t know.

“Ah”, he let out. “I don’t.” He sat up, untying his hair.

It fell around his face, and he put the hair tie on his night table before lying down again.

“Can I play with your hair?” you asked, unaware that you were going to ask until the words had crossed your lips.

It was hard to tell in the red light, but you were pretty sure he had blushed.

“You’ve always loved to do that, have you?”

It was your turn to blush, and you really did hope that the red light was hiding it.

“Your hair is really soft”, you explained, or tried to, because really you had no idea why you had asked in the first place.

He moved closer, turning around so you had access to the back of his head.

It was easier to breathe when he wasn’t looking at you, you realized. That was until you started running a hesitant hand through his hair, and he sighed as you massaged his scalp.

“I think the part I missed the most about us is this”, he whispered, and you chuckled.

“I thought you missed my jokes”, you said, teasing.

He laughed. “Nothing beats you playing with my hair.”

“Not even when other girls do it?” you asked, as your fingers paused their dance in his hair.

He didn’t reply for a long time. “You heard what Seungmin said, uh?”

“Well, it was hard not to hear it, he yelled it”, you said, tone… hesitant, really. Because you didn’t know why you were bringing that up.

It wasn’t like you cared, no?

“I don’t date, if that reassures you”, he said. “But… I’m not against casual sex.”

You resumed playing with his hair. “Do you do that a lot?”

You would have given a lot to be able to look him in the eyes as you had asked the question.

“Not particularly”, he replied. “I don’t do feelings and relationships, so…”

“Because of the clause?”

He chuckled, and it sounded bitter. “Not really. The clause has never really stopped anyone.”

Your heart picked up its pace as the words settled in. “Then why don’t you?”

“I…” he let out, before pausing for a long time. So long you almost thought he was never going to reply. “I’ve never really met anyone that I’ve liked enough to consider that.”

You almost gulped, as your fight echoed in your mind, even though years had passed since then.

He hadn’t met anyone after you, he meant. You were convinced of it.

“I’m sorry”, you breathed.

“Don’t be, it’s not like I really have time to date anyway”, he said.

He turned on his back, glancing at you as your hand hovered next to his face. “Why didn’t you date after your ex?”

You turned on your back too, hand moving away from him, though the silky ghost of his hair still played on your fingers.

“It didn’t really end well, as you already know”, you whispered. “It’s been hard to trust anyone since then.”

Though he was unaware that most of your trust issues came from when he had ghosted you.

“I wish I would have been wrong”, he said gently. “You didn’t deserve the way he treated you.”

Your heart ached in your chest for a moment. You remembered the fight, and how he had warned you about Hangyeol… Ever since Hangyeol had told you he had been cheating, you had often found yourself wondering. Wondering what would have happened if you had listened to Hyunjin. If you had decided to give him a chance, back then.

A part of you wondered if you would have been like Jihoon and Seonwha.

“Nobody deserves to be cheated on”, you said, shrugging it off. Because you didn’t want him to remind you of just how much you had screwed up.

“Yeah.”

You fell silent, looking up at his ceiling, until he turned to look at you. It took you a while to look at him too. Your eyes fell to the mole under his left eye, and you pursed your lips.

“We should go to sleep.” Your words were barely above a whisper, and he slightly nodded.

“We should”, he agreed. “Thank you for coming today.”

“Thank you for inviting me, Jinnie.”

You exchanged a soft smile, until you yawned once again.

“I’ll take that as a cue to turn off the lights”, Hyunjin said, chuckling. “Good night, nuna.”

“Good night”, you replied, sighing as you nuzzled your face in the silk of your pillow. The room fell dark, the echo of the red light playing against the sudden darkness. “Stay on your side of the bed.”

He laughed lightly, the sound the last thing you heard before falling asleep, far quicker than you had in a while now.

*****

You woke up with a pounding headache, feeling way too warm for your own good. You kept your eyes shut for a while, apprehending the moment you’d open them… until you realized why you felt so warm.

And no, it wasn’t because you were wearing a sweater.

Your eyes fluttered open, breath catching in your throat as you realized that Hyunjin was pressed against you, face nuzzled in your neck as you were laying on your back. His arm was on your stomach, and his soft breathing indicated to you that he was still very much so asleep.

Asleep and cuddling you, for God’s sake.

You didn’t move for a while, breathing in the scent of him as his proximity filled your nose with the fragrance of his shampoo, and maybe some cologne he had been wearing last night. His hair was tickling your face, and you slightly turned it away from him, though you didn’t quite feel like putting any sort of distance between you.

Not when he seemed so peaceful.

As your heart raced in your chest, you hoped that he couldn’t hear it. Really fucking hoped, otherwise you were afraid it’d wake him up.

You took a steadying breath as you shut your eyes once again. His room was still dark, so there was no use to getting up. Especially not when he was close to you like that, and it felt as if no time had separated you at all.

You wondered what he would think, if he were to wake up right now, so close to you you could feel his chest moving every time he took a breath. You liked to think that he would be happy. That, maybe, he had done it on purpose, and not while he was sleeping.

It was a dangerous thought to have, when your friendship was still so precarious. So close to falling off the edge, you felt… threatened. By him. By the thought of him and his words and the way he was still looking at you after all these years.

Best friends indeed.

Hyunjin’s arm tightened around your stomach, and he pulled you even closer. Too close for your own comfort. Where the hell was the pillow wall anyway?

“Everything alright?” Hyunjin whispered, startling you.

“You’re not asleep?” you asked.

He chuckled, deep sound reverberating through his chest. “I was.”

He made no move to move away from you, and you felt yourself relaxing, even if the proximity of him… it was a danger. A threat to your own sanity.

“Seems I’ve crossed the pillow wall”, he whispered against the skin of your neck, and the feeling of his lips on you made you lose your mind.

“Hyunjin-ah…” you breathed out, heart beating out of your chest.

“I’ll go back to my side”, he said. Though he didn’t move for a time. As if waiting for you to ask him to stay.

You couldn’t. You couldn’t ask him that, knowing just how dangerous it was to let him in like that. He had broken your heart without a single ounce of regret, hadn’t he?

Though maybe you had been the one to break his heart in the first place.

The weight of his arm lifted from your stomach, and you almost whined at the loss of contact. It scared you shitless.

He moved away, and the bed suddenly seemed very cold. Though the cold came from within, and you were all too aware of it.

“I’m sorry I cuddled you like that”, he said after a moment of silence.

“Oh”, you let out. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

In fact… you were disappointed. Disappointed that he had moved away, and you hadn’t asked him to stay close.

You rather liked to have him so close to you like that.

“Good.” He yawned, and you glanced his way, though you couldn’t quite see him in the darkness. “Good night”, he added a few seconds later, and his breathing evened out, indicating that he had already fallen back asleep.

You almost were jealous of it, as you knew sleep would avoid you for the rest of the night. Especially since your heart was still racing in your chest, and it didn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

Fucking hell.

*****

The next few days passed in a weird anxious blur, with you and Hyunjin not seeing each other except that morning after you had slept in the same bed. He texted you a lot though, more than you had thought he would, and it really felt as if no time had passed. As if you were still the same Jinnie and Y/n, and really you loved every second of it.

Especially as you finished the first draft of your second novel, and submitted to your editor a week in advance. Not a big win, but something you were proud of nonetheless. It seemed you had found your inspiration back, and you were no fool.

You knew it was all thanks to Hyunjin.

The day of the concert came far quicker than you had thought it would, and you stood in front of your closet for a long while, not knowing what to wear at all. You still had Hyunjin’s sweater, but you didn’t feel it was… appropriate, for a concert. Especially not when Hyunjin had posted pictures of him in that sweater in the past, so fans could connect the dots between you.

Something you didn’t want happening, as you were just friends.

Instead, you chose a short black skirt, that you paired with a white t-shirt, along with black converse shoes. It was a cute yet simple outfit, that you paired with your lilac purse.

You curled your hair, putting on a bit of make-up too. Just eyeliner and mascara, as you had to get to the venue in advance. Indeed, Hyunjin had invited you to the soundcheck during the afternoon, and you didn’t want to miss it for the world.

You made your way to the concert venue with public transport, mind filled with memories of you and Hyunjin back in the days. Mostly, you thought about his parents, whom you hadn’t seen since before he had ghosted you, and whom you had already appreciated, as they had always made you feel welcomed under their roof. You wondered if Hyunjin would invite you over for dinner, and you thought maybe you should suggest it to him.

After all, he had been the one to invite you to the dance rehearsal earlier this week, and to the concert today. It was only fair if you tried to plan something now.

You made a mental note to talk to him about it when you would get the chance today, as you got out of public transport to walk the rest of the distance to the venue. You texted him that you were there, and he told you to meet him at a garage entry, which proved to be a lot harder to find than you had expected.

After fifteen minutes of searching, Hyunjin called you on your phone, clearly wondering what was taking so long. You picked up the call, unable to hide the annoyance from your voice.

“Where the fuck is the garage?” you asked and he burst out laughing.

“You know where the front doors are?”

“Yeah”, you let out.

“Turn left from there. It’s on the other side of the building, but that’s the quickest way to get there.”

“I’ll be there soon. But please stay with me”, you begged, as you quickened your pace to make it back to the front doors.

“They’re expecting me in five minutes, so be quick”, he said, voice sounding far from the phone. “I’ll hide so they don’t find me here.”

You chuckled, as you neared the corner of the building. “I’m almost back to the front.”

“I’d meet you there if I wasn’t afraid to be seen by fans”, he said.

“It sucks to be famous, does it?” you teased him.

Though a crowd of fans came into view, which surprised you, because the doors didn’t open until seven tonight. But then again, you also had arrived early to all the BTS concerts you had gone to, so you didn’t blame Stray Kids’ fans for doing the same.

You walked around the crowd, picking up your pace even more as Hyunjin sighed.

“They’re calling my name”, he whispered in the phone. “You’re going to get me in trouble.”

“I’m not going to start running, that would be suspicious”, you said. “Hold on, I’m almost there.”

Soon enough, you finally found the garage, and Hyunjin walked out of where he was hiding, though you could barely call it a hiding spot. The crew hadn’t really searched for him if they hadn’t seen him standing behind the bus.

“Hey”, he said, hanging up the phone as you came into view.

You jogged towards him, and you quickly hugged, before walking in the building.

“This place was far too hard to find”, you grumbled as Hyunjin led you down a hallway.

He chuckled. “I’m glad you made it though. Tonight’s going to be fun.”

As he smiled at you over his shoulder, you felt your cheeks burning. It was going to be fun indeed, especially since she was going to be with him.

Well, not when he was going to be on the scene, of course. But the rest of the time yes.

You followed Hyunjin down a few hallways, almost jogging behind him as he was walking far quicker than your small legs could allow you. He laughed at you, and you playfully pushed him.

“You’re annoying”, you said.

“You’ve got tiny legs”, he countered-back.

You squinted your eyes at him in annoyance. “The concert has better be good if you made me come here just to insult me.”

He chuckled, eyes sparkling with mischief as he looked at you. “Our concerts are never bad, nuna.”

You moved into a wider room, where people were running around, trying to get everything ready in time for the concert.

“Hyunjin-ah!” a young woman said as she stopped next to you. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere, the others are already on the scene.”

“Sorry, I was waiting for her slow ass”, he apologized, pointing to you.

“Hey!” you let out, and you moved to punch him but he jogged out of your reach, before turning around and winking at you.

“I’ll be back soon, don’t miss me too much”, he teased, and then he was gone.

You just stood there awkwardly, not really knowing what to do. The young woman who had talked to Hyunjin hadn’t moved, and she looked between you and the place where Hyunjin had disappeared.

“So, you must be Y/n”, she said, as her eyes finally settled on you.

You nodded, though a slight blush crept on your cheeks. Had Hyunjin told everyone about you already?

“I’m Yuna”, the girl said. “Nice to meet you.”

You bowed at the same time, as you echoed Yuna’s last words.

“I’m Hyunjin’s hair stylist”, Yuna continued. “I was supposed to dye his hair before the soundcheck.” She sighed, and you only then noticed the hair product Yuna was holding.

“I can help you with that after, if you want”, you suggested.

Yuna’s eyes lit up. “That would be really helpful.”

“I’d be glad to help”, you said, smiling. Though a tiny part of you knew why you had suggested…

Goddamn it, were you really jealous of his hair stylist?

As you waited for Hyunjin to finish the soundcheck, you moved closer to the stage, though you didn’t really have a good view of it from backstage. A crew member told you that there were going to be TVs later, which was a relief, but you still managed to catch a glimpse of the boys as they sang a couple of songs, just to make sure the mics were well tuned and that everything was going to go smoothly later.

Once Hyunjin came back, along with the others, you stood to the side to let everyone pass, as Hyunjin was the last one in the line. He stopped next to you, a little out of breath and smiling widely, and truly he looked so happy it almost made your heart burst right then and there.

“Excited for tonight?” he asked.

You grinned back at him, unable to hold your smile in when he was looking at you like that. “Yes. But now we’ve got to get your hair dyed.”

He nodded, and you walked back towards the main backstage room. “Yeah, my hair is going red for tonight.”

“Ooh, can’t wait to see”, you said, chuckling. “I’ll help your stylist because I was the one to cause the delay.”

Hyunjin smiled, and his fingers brushed the back of your hand as you walked towards the chair where Yuna was waiting for you. The feel of his fingers against your hand had your heart missing a couple of beats, and you quickly pulled your hand away, pretending to put your hair behind your ear.

You were blushing again, for God’s sake.

“Yuna looks pissed, doesn’t she?” Hyunjin whispered as you walked, and you chuckled, though it sounded more like you were choking on air.

You really needed to get a hold of yourself when you were around him. You barely were friends again, and there you were letting your heart betray you like that.

“She does”, you said after a few more seconds of silence. “She probably hates me.”

“Nobody can hate you, nuna”, he reassured you, gently nudging you with his elbow. “Except when you’re being a little shit, then I do hate you.”

“Jinnie!”

You laughed as you punched him in the shoulder.

“You’re even worse than you were before.”

“Oh, you’ve barely seen anything”, he said, chuckling, as you finally reached Yuna’s side.

Yuna got up from the chair, motioning at it with her hand. Hyunjin sat, and soon enough she had a towel wrapped around his shoulders to make sure no dye got on his shirt. She then handed some gloves to you, and you put them on as Hyunjin carefully watched you in the mirror in front of him.

“What?” you asked as you grabbed some of the product.

“Careful not to get some in my eyes”, he said, winking at you.

“Just close your eyes and let us work”, Yuna said, patting him on the shoulder.

The familiarity of the move made you twice as jealous as you already were. You swallowed down the feeling, though it had a vile taste.

You really didn’t like how you felt around Hyunjin.

You all fell silent as Yuna showed you how to apply the product, and soon enough you got to work, as Hyunjin scrolled on his phone. As if he too sensed the awkwardness in the air. Or maybe that was just you, and you were being jealous for absolutely no reason.

With the help of the hair stylist, you dyed Hyunjin’s hair red, using a towel to prevent from putting some dye on his face, though the dye was said to be washable with water. Soon enough, Hyunjin’s hair had turned a bright shade of red, and the hair stylist sauntered off after having rinsed the little dye that you had accidentally put on the nape of his neck.

Hyunjin turned towards you as soon as the stylist left, a wicked smile on his lips.

“How do you like it?” he asked.

“What?” you let out.

He rolled his eyes. “The hair, dumbass.”

“I know, I was just teasing you.” You winked at him, and then made a good show of looking at his hair. Though he looked really fucking good, you weren’t going to tell him that, no? “It suits you well, though it’s a really bright color, is it not?”

He shrugged. “It’s just for the show. It’ll wash off tonight in the shower.”

“My hard work, gone so soon?” you said, putting a dramatic hand over your heart.

“You’ll just have to do it all again at the next concert”, he said, chuckling.

Though you didn’t miss the way his cheeks slightly tinted with pink.

“I can’t make it to all your concerts”, you said, scanning his features.

His face slightly fell, but a make-up artist stopped next to him, and he couldn’t reply.

The make-up artist began by putting blue contacts in his eyes, before applying some make up on his features. You carefully watched, trying to ignore the weird tingle in your heart every time the make-up artist brushed her fingers against his face.

Really, it wasn’t normal for you to feel like that. That thought kept spiralling in your mind for the whole concert, so much so that you found you couldn’t quite enjoy it. No, panic was slowly gaining a hold of you, and you didn’t know what to do with it. Didn’t know if you should accept that, after all these years, your feelings towards him hadn’t changed at all.

It was terrifying, really, even if he seemed to display those same feelings. He had broken your heart three times – when he had asked to just be friends, when he had told you about his own feelings, and then when he had ghosted you. You would be a fool to let him in this time, just because the timing seemed… better.

You pushed the thoughts aside when the concert finished, even though they kept haunting the far back of your mind. It was nothing a bit of alcohol wouldn’t numb anyway.

You returned to the dorms after the concert, along with the other members. They all seemed over energetic, and buzzing electricity moved through the whole group as they sat around the kitchen table, eating what you considered to be a literal feast.

It was easy to be with Hyunjin in a setting such as that one. He was a friend, and not… whatever else he could be when you were alone. Which was a relief, because those thoughts really weren’t that far. Even after all the soju that you had drunk while eating.

And it was fun. A buzzing kind of fun, the fun that came when one had their mind swimming with alcohol. Not enough to reach the point of no return, but just enough to reach… this feeling. This euphoria that was gaining control of you with every laugh and smile.

The members of Stray Kids truly knew how to have fun, behind close doors. And they also really knew how to make someone feel welcome. Really, you almost felt as if you had always been friends with them, as if they were all part of that friendship you had shared with Hyunjin. And maybe that was the reason why you were so comfortable – because they were Hyunjin’s closest friends, like you had once been. Like you wished you would be again someday.

“Nuna”, Hyunjin said, moving closer to whisper in your ear.

Everything in you stopped at once, and you hoped he didn’t notice the way you had stiffened next to him.

“What?”

“What do you think about Changbin?” he asked.

Your eyes trailed to the man in question, and you exchanged a small smile before you resumed your attention on Hyunjin.

“Why are you asking?”

“Do you like him?” he asked, once again moving close to you so he could whisper in your ear.

Your brows knit together. “I barely know him.”

“Would you like him?” Hyunjin asked again, speech slightly slurred by the alcohol.

You almost died right on the spot when Hyunjin’s lips brushed your ear as he spoke. You ignored the looks the other members were throwing at you as you focused on the space between you and Hyunjin.

There really wasn’t much space, wasn’t it?

“Why do you want to know that?” you enquired, voice breathy.

“You…” he let out. “Fuck, I don’t know.”

“Hyunjin-ah”, you breathed as he once again brushed his lips against the lobe of your ear. You slightly moved out of his reach, though you leaned to whisper in his own ear. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know”, he let out, and your eyes shut as he sighed, and the warmth of his breath brushed the skin of your neck.

You slightly turned your face towards him, no longer in control with yourself. All you knew was that you, too, wanted to press your lips against his ear.

Though you went as far as nibbling on his ear, alcohol inhibiting all restraint you usually would have had. All restraint you thought you had, actually.

Clearly, you hadn’t had much.

He sighed once again, a hand moving up so he could brush your hair behind your shoulder, and his mouth immediately moved, barely pressing on the spot where the collar of your shirt stopped. He left a light kiss there, and you slightly opened your eyes, looking down at him.

Until he moved up, face a few inches away from yours. Far enough so you could see the blue of his contacts and his red hair. Close enough to know there was no turning back now.

You leaned in, closing the space between you. The space and the time that had separated you, really.

You lightly brushed your lips against his, and your eyes shut in synch as Hyunjin let out a shuddering breath. Your heart started racing in your chest, and you were pretty sure you were trembling when he pecked her lips.

You were in your own little world, away from everyone else. In your own little bubble of peace and contentment, really. A place where you should have met a long time ago.

You fully pressed your lips against his, the taste of soju on his mouth making you dizzy inside. Even more so, as he ran a hand through your hair, grabbing the back of your head to pull you closer as he deepened the kiss. One of your hands rested on his thigh, and you slightly parted your lips as his tongue swiped on your bottom lip.

Your tongues met in a passionate dance as a breathy sound bubbled in your throat, your other hand getting lost in his hair as you pulled at it. He grunted, and you wondered if he was shaking or if it was you.

Maybe it was both of you.

And you were shaking… for what exactly? You didn’t even know. All you knew was that you were about to burst right then and there, and your heart couldn’t quite take it.

He whispered your name against your lips, and you kissed him harder. He met your pace, and you were pretty sure he would have pulled you in his lap had someone not cheered.

You pulled away from him, eyes wide, as you realized what you were doing.

His gaze met yours, and there was fear in his eyes.

“I should go”, you said, and you were up before your sentence had ended.

Hyunjin followed you, slightly stumbling as you stormed towards the door.

“Y/n, wait”, he let out. “What’s wrong?”

Moving out of the dinning room, you walked down the hallway leading to the door.

“What the fuck was that?” you asked, turning around to look at him.

You were shaking with your whole body now.

“We… we just kissed, it… Why are you freaking out?” he asked, and you tried to read the emotions on his face.

All you knew was that he too was panicking.

“That was wrong”, you said. “We shouldn’t…”

He chuckled bitterly, taking you by surprise. “It was time we kissed, don’t you think?”

“Just because Seonwha wants us to be together doesn’t mean we should be.”

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Nuna, I’m not talking about Seonwha. Don’t tell me you don’t feel the same about me.”

“We had this conversation once, Hyunjin-ah, and look where it led us.”

“It led us to tonight, didn’t it?” he pointed out, with an edge to his voice you definitely didn’t like.

“I don’t want that. I don’t want to be with you like that.”

“You kissed me”, he said, venom dripping from his voice. “You want it just as bad as I do.”

“You can’t just come back into my life like that, Hyunjin-ah!” You glanced at the door, though you were slowly starting to see red. It wasn’t anxiety making you shake anymore, but rage. “You came back when it was convenient for you, uh? You waited until I wasn’t with Hangyeol anymore, and then you pull off this shit?”

“You’ve broken up for months, I didn’t come back right away, didn’t I?” He scoffed. “I wouldn’t have come back at all if it hadn’t been for Seonwha.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have.”

The silence that fell around you was heavy, pressing you down as you felt your lungs burning. You just stared at each other. You tried to pretend you couldn’t see the pain on his features, but youncouldn’t ignore it.

“Leave me alone”, you said, voice small. “I need to think.”

“What is there to think about?” he asked, and his voice broke on the last word.

You motioned between the two of you. “This. Whatever just happened. I… it’s better if we don’t talk for a few days.”

“Please don’t go”, he begged, and you shut your eyes as your heart sank in your chest.

“This is not the end”, you said, hoping he could hear the promise behind those words. “I just need a few days.”

You opened your eyes to see him blinking back tears.

It came as a surprise that your own gaze was still dry.

“Okay”, he let out. “I’ll give you a few days.”

You nodded, scanning his features one last time before you turned around, aiming for the door. You didn’t hear him move, and neither did you look over your shoulder to see if he had. You weren’t quite sure you would have been able to leave if you had looked at him then.

*****

You stared at the blank page on your laptop. Lost in the dizzying twirls of your thoughts.

It happened to you a lot lately, quite honestly.

It had been a little over a week since your fight with Hyunjin. You hadn’t exchanged a single word since then and, frankly, you weren’t quite sure you wanted to ever speak to him again. You were embarrassed, far too embarrassed to acknowledge that you had kissed him. That you had wanted to drown in his sweetness, and in the way his lips had moved against yours.

You tsked, blinking a few times to chase the memory away. To focus on your blank page once again, and on words that had been avoiding you for days now. Since…

You scoffed, closing your laptop before sitting back in your chair, your head resting against it.

You had been lying to yourself all those days, if you were being honest. Trying to convince yourself that you were angry at him, that you didn’t want him. You had never been a liar before, but it seemed Hwang Hyunjin brought that ugly part of you out.

A part of you you didn’t think you had, but that had gained control of you when you had realized you were kissing him.

You wanted to hate him. Hate him for coming back like that and expecting them to be together. As if he hadn’t abandoned you for so long. It was unfair, really, that he expected you to be his after he had treated you like he had.

Why did you still want him so bad, then?

Seonwha had been furious, the last time you had spoken to her. Clearly, Hyunjin had told her everything, because she gave you the lecture of the century, calling you stupid and selfish.

You rather thought Hyunjin had been the selfish one. He hadn’t even considered the fact that you might just want to be his friend. He had…

You sighed deeply. You didn’t want to just be his friends. You didn’t think you wanted to be his either. That was why you hadn’t texted him yet.

You hated the effect that it had had on him. Because you had been unable to keep away from the idol part of him, and you had watched their two last shows online. Had seen him mess up a few choreographies. Had been able to see the hurt in his smiles, and in the way they never reached his eyes.

You knew him far too well for your own good.

You tapped your fingers on the back of the laptop, as you once again relived the kiss.

It had been the best goddamn kiss of your entire life, if you were being honest. And you doubted nothing would ever top that.

You had forgotten how to think, how to breathe, how to exist in that moment. All you had known was that there was him, and there was you, and you were two. Two souls, bound to be together. Bound together, lips sealing the deal.

Maybe you never should have kissed him, because you weren’t quite sure you would ever feel the same again. As if it had made you realize that you were missing half of you, and that the only way to get it back was to be with him. Was to drink in the taste of him until you’d be drunk and old and grey, until eternity would set you apart, in infinite darkness.

You had always been a romantic, had become a writer because of it… but this was a next step. As if you hadn’t known about the love poets spoke about until that moment when your lips had touched. And really, you were aware of that. Were aware that he’d always be the better part of you, the sweet and loveable and kind part of you.

A part you were running away from, content in your own little misery. In that disgusting part of you that wanted him to hurt like he had hurt you. You knew it was wrong, because you knew he had been hurting too. You couldn’t imagine how you would have felt had the roles been reversed. Had he been the one dating someone toxic. Had you had to look at him slowly dwindling away to nothingness.

Though that was the part you couldn’t quite forgive him for. You had been dying, with Hangyeol. Had suffered more than you’d ever admit it to anyone. He had known it, all too well, and had chosen to leave without a single word.

That silence… it had killed you, relentlessly. You had been forced to rebuild yourself, a little changed, and probably not in the right way. Though it had led to you breaking up with Hangyeol, if you were being honest.

Because, if you had had to choose between Hyunjin and Hangyeol, you would have chosen Hyunjin, no hesitation.

You hadn’t thought that choice was going to be taken away from you, though. Hadn’t thought Hyunjin would ever walk out of your life… and now he had come back, and you were the one walking away.

You turned your head towards the sliding doors to your right, the city of Seoul coming into view. The sun was getting low in the sky, and you sighed once again. You hadn’t been productive at all today.

You got up from your spot, moving closer to the sliding doors, before stepping outside, the sounds of the city engulfing you. The balcony of your apartment overlooked a small plaza, and you looked down at it, watching people walking around, eating bungeoppang from the street vendor or just rushing to wherever they had to go.

It was strange how life seemed to be moving far too fast around you, when you were still stuck in that dorm kitchen, lips pressed against Hyunjin’s. As if time had stopped for you then, and you’d forever be stuck reliving the moments. Again and again, until you’d go crazy from it.

A breeze caught in your hair, and you shut your eyes, appreciating the warmth of the sun rays on your skin.

Maybe you were being too harsh on him. Maybe…

Maybe you were meant to be together after all, and he wasn��t wrong. Maybe your timing had just always been off.

Then why did it still feel so wrong?

You stayed there for a while, a lot longer than you had first wanted to. Just letting the sound and smells of the city carry you through your thoughts, because really, there was no escaping.

The worst part was that you missed him, so much. Wanted to share with him every funny pictures that you saw on Instagram, wanted to hear him tell you about his days, wanted to see his smile and listen to his laugh…

Perhaps you had waited long enough. Perhaps you were two puzzle pieces that were meant to be together, and it was time you faced the truth. Running away from it wasn’t going to lead you anywhere good.

As if it finally clicked into place, you knew what you had to do. Though you had probably known it all along, and you had just been waiting for your stubbornness to give in to the feelings in your heart.

You walked inside, hands slightly clammy as you looked for your phone. Ignoring the voice in your head that was telling you not text Hyunjin. That was begging you to not be with him…

As if you were trying to punish yourself.

Phone in hands, you just stood there for a moment, as realization hit you like a train.

Hyunjin deserved explanations, and some good ones at that.

*****

You sat in the couch, in that same spot you had been for the last hour. Hyunjin had replied to your text saying that he had a performance tonight, but that he could come over after, if you didn’t mind. And frankly, even if you knew you would be tired the next day, you couldn’t wait. Needed to set things straight between you, before he floated too far away for you to be able to reach him again.

Your television was turned on, a K-drama playing with the sound muted. You hadn’t been paying attention to it at all, and had just needed some sort of… company, as you were waiting for him. Because you couldn’t bare the darkness of your apartment.

Your eyes were lost in the void as you nibbled on the dry skin of your bottom lip, unable to focus on anything other than your racing heart. You didn’t even know what time it was, had stopped paying attention to the clock on the wall because time seemed to move so slow.

You couldn’t wait for him to arrive. Couldn’t wait to explain everything to him. Though you were anxious that it would be too little too late.

You startled as your phone started ringing next to you, indicating that someone was at the front door downstairs. Hyunjin.

You buzzed him in, your hands starting to shake as you got up to wait for him at the door. Fingers flickering, as the tick of the clock on the wall echoed every odd beat of your heart.

At this rate, you clearly were going to have a heart attack before Hyunjin was going to reach the door.

There was a slight hesitant knock on the door, and you quickly threw it open, to the sight of a slightly dishevelled and apprehensive Hyunjin. His eyes widened, mouth falling open, as you just looked at him standing there.

It was the five most awkward seconds of your entire life.

“Uh, come in”, you said, blushing as you realized you had been staring.

You moved to the side, blushing even more at the thought of him, in your apartment. The apartment in which you lived alone, with only a few plants to keep you company.

He walked in, staying a good distance away from you, as if he’d get burned if he touched you. He looked stiff, and he didn’t really hold your gaze, instead scanning the living room of your apartment with his gaze.

“Welcome to my… home”, you said, shutting the door behind him. “I… How was the concert?”

His eyes settled on you and you felt like a deer in headlights for a moment. Until he wet his lips and spoke. “You’ve finally decided to talk to me again?”

You gulped. Straight to the point it would be, then.

“Uh”, you let out. “I have an extra pair of slippers, if you want to come in. We can sit in the living room.”

A crease appeared between his brows, but he took off his shoes and put on the slippers, before following you to the couch.

You sat at the two extremities of it, a whole world between you.

“I… have been thinking”, you started, hands shaking. You hid their trembles by sitting on your hands, even if the position was somewhat awkward. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

He remained silent, only looking at you. Well, not quite, as he seemed to be looking at a spot right next to your face. You glanced at it, though there was nothing there.

“I… You mean a lot to me, Jinnie”, you continued. “We’ve been through a lot, and I guess I… was afraid to lose you?”

“Why would us kissing make you think that?” he asked, voice cold.

It took you by surprise, and all your resolve dissolved like some cotton candy in water.

“Because…” you trailed off. “We were best friends for years, and then I lost you. I don’t think I ever really allowed myself to realize just how bad it hurt to lose you.”

He scoffed. “You were the one dating that asshole.”

“You didn’t have to leave”, you said, your tone a little vehement too. “You could have talked to me.”

“I did, nuna. I told you what I thought about him and you still dated him.” He crossed his arms on his chest, slightly shaking his head. “It fucking sucked seeing you with him.”

“And I realize that now!” you quickly said, hoping to diffuse the fight that was starting to build up before it exploded. “I made some mistakes, and I’m sorry I did.”

Only silence met your words. He really wasn’t making that easy, wasn’t he?

“I think I panicked the other day because… you mean so, so much to me and I don’t even want to imagine a world in which I’d lose you again”, you said softly, looking away from him. “But at the same time, I’m pissed at myself for dating Hangyeol after you told me how you felt, and… and I don’t think I deserve you.” You blinked back a few tears. “I don’t deserve you, Hyunjin-ah. I don’t even understand why you still… want me like that after everything that happened. You deserve so much better than how I treated you…” You dried the tear that slipped out of your right eye with the back of your hand. “You deserve someone that’ll love you from the start, and that won’t torture you like I did.” You gulped, swallowing down the lump that had started forming in your throat. “I was selfish, to think that you were the one in the wrong. We both made mistakes, and… I guess I don’t think I deserve your forgiveness. Don’t think I deserve the kiss we...”

“I’ll stop you right there”, Hyunjin interrupted you, voice strained with emotions. “This is not about deserving each other.” You looked at him, heart breaking in your chest at the sight of tears rolling down his cheeks. “You don’t control who you fall in love with. And sometimes, people are meant to be lessons in each other’s life. Fuck’s sake, I thought you were a lesson for a long time. It hasn’t stopped me from feeling what I feel for you though.” He wiped his tears, chuckling, the sound bittersweet. “There wasn’t a day I wasn’t thinking about you, longing for you. But since that day I told you how I felt… it changed me. I couldn’t just be friends with you, and I had to get away.”

You nodded, vision blurred by a new wave of tears.

“But fuck every day I thought of you. The boys helped me with it, and their friendship really helped through the pain of losing you, but the love remained. And when I saw you at Seonwha’s wedding… It took me back to the day I told you how I felt, and for a moment it was like not a second had passed. And I pictured myself living that moment again, with a happy ending instead.” He looked away, eyes focusing on the silent TV, as the credits of the K-drama rolled on the screen. “I’m rambling, sorry.”

“Don’t”, you quickly said. “Don’t apologize for telling me how you feel. It’s past time we tell each other how we feel.”

He smiled through his tears, wiping them away.

“I’ve been in love with you all those years, Hyunjin-ah. Ever since that night at Seonwha’s birthday party.” Flashes of that night swirled in your thoughts as you reminisced the moment when you had told Hyunjin you loved him, and he had said he couldn’t be with you. “I’ve loved you every day and I don’t deserve you.”

“Stop”, he said. “I told you it’s not about who deserves who.”

“But it is though”, you insisted. “You… When you told me how you felt, I was scared. So fucking scared when I had been waiting to hear that for months. It pissed me off, though, because I knew it before. We both knew it.”

He nodded, meeting your gaze.

“It’s always been you, Jinnie. Every moment of every day it’s been you. Even when I was with Hangyeol. Even more then. That night at the wedding… I saw a future with you. It scared me, and I panicked when we kissed last week but it was… the best kiss I’ve ever had. You are… so much. I can’t even say so much what… you are just so much… you.”

He chuckled, as he blinked back a few more tears.

“You’re everything that I want, that I’ve wanted, and I don’t deserve it.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because… I don’t know”, you said, shrugging as you too chuckled. “Because I’m young and dumb and afraid of commitment and afraid of getting hurt. And you’re… you’re an idol, you live in a complete different universe than I do.”

“I’m still the same.”

“You are. And that’s why I still feel like that about you.”

“Like what?” he asked, a teasing smile moving on his lips.

The sight of it made you feel like a rainbow had appeared in the storm of your life.

“Don’t make me repeat it”, you said, laughing lightly. “It’s… fuck why didn’t I tell you before?”

His face fell serious as he carefully watched you. “I didn’t think the timing was ever going to be right with you”, he admitted after a time. “Always thought that I would be forced to live my life knowing I’d let the one slip through my fingers.”

“I’m right here”, you said, voice filled with emotion. “I was really fucking dumb but I’m right here and I never want to leave again.”

“I won’t let you”, he teased you, as he reached out to grab your hand. And than seemed to be considering it for a time, before pulling you closer. Pressing his lips against yours.

The kiss was the confirmation you needed. That he indeed was the one. That he was the love poets write poems about, and singers sing songs about. That he was the oxygen to your lungs, and the light in your darkest nights.

It felt like coming home after a long journey. Head full of memories, heart full of feelings, but finally ready to settle down. To relax for a while, and to just enjoy being alive. Being there, in the moment. Not caring about the world.

Just him and you. You and him. Intertwined on your couch in a dance of passion, lips against skin, skin against skin, breaths heavy with release and love and everything in between.

You felt free, like a bird soaring high in the sky, after years of being grounded. Like a kite in a summer wind, or a wave hitting the shore.

It was an abundance of feelings you didn’t even know existed, yet felt just right.

He was just right. For you, that is. And you for him. Two souls, connected on a deeper level than you had ever thought possible, as if you finally knew the secrets to the universe. And maybe you did. Maybe he was the secret to your universe, and you to his. Maybe he was the rules of physics to which you responded, and you were the mathematics of his dreams.

When you were laying in your bed, somewhere between the hours of midnight and dawn, you took the time to look at him. Truly look at the boy you had always known – man now. And you knew. Knew that everything that had happened to you in life had happened for a reason. To lead you there, with him, to the place you were destined to find. Because the feelings in your heart… it was faith. You knew it. And instead of being afraid of it, as you had been at first, you welcomed it in with open arms.

Embraced it, really, because what else was there to do, when the love of your life was right next to you?

“What are you thinking about?” Hyunjin murmured, voice groggy with sleep.

Though you hadn’t really slept at all.

“You”, you whispered, nuzzling your face in his neck. The smell of him was almost enough to make you go crazy. “Us.”

“Look at you all cheesy”, he said, chuckling. The deep sound reverberated in his chest, and you smiled against his skin.

“I’m a hopeless romantic, what were you expecting?”

“Nothing less”, he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I wouldn’t want nothing less than that from you.”

You felt your cheeks burning, and you hid it by cuddling further into him.

“You know what?” Hyunjin said.

“Mmh?” you let out.

“I think I fell in love with you first.”

You chuckled. “Bullshit.”

“No, I’m serious”, he insisted. “The day we met. You were wearing the school uniform, and you had your hair tied back in a ponytail. You looked so cute and I couldn’t stop staring at you. That’s why I walked straight into you. I knew then that you were the one.”

“Why did you tell me you just wanted to be friends, then?” you asked, hand moving up so you could gently put behind his ear the strand of blond hair that was falling in his eyes.

“Because we were young”, he said, as if it explained anything. “I knew you were the kind of love I wouldn’t ever be able to walk away from. But I had this dream of being an idol… and I guess at the end of the day I was selfish, and took you for granted.”

“We both were selfish”, you whispered. “But we’re here now, and it’s all that matters.”

He smiled softly. “It is. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

You blushed, giggling. “Who’s being cheesy now?”

He laughed, pulling you into his chest, hugging you tight against him. You put your head on his chest, right above his heart, and you listened to his heartbeat for a time, your own heart meeting the pace of his, as if they too had been in synch from the start.

“I love you”, Hyunjin said after a few more moments of silence. “Always have and always will.”

Warmth moved throughout your whole body, and you wondered if it was possible to be happier than you were then. You highly doubted so.

“I love you too.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

I hope you enjoyed!! I feel all fluffy rereading it, this couple was really fun to write. The way they are both hopeless for the other like🥺🥺

Let me know what you thought of the fic! Feedback is always appreciated

Love you all✌🏼

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin fic #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x you #stray kids fic #stray kids fanfiction #always been you

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ipilokko · 2 months ago

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Hello! This is me attempting to write after a looong time. I was not home today so i wanted to try again. I don't think I'm the best at it and i probably made a LOT of grammar mistakes since English is not my first language. So i might get embarrassed and delete this later 💀

The thing is under the cut...

From the warmth of their home, Mollie stood in front of the window, she could hardly make out her immense husband between the layering raindrops. It was getting colder and colder each day as the weather pulled away from autumn and was being dragged more into winter.

His back facing her, he was wearing a dark brown coat with his umbrella on his hand, creating a spotlight on him free from the raindrops. She gripped the ladder, slowly climbing down to reach the ground. She put on her jacket, her hat, took her own umbrella, her gloves and went outside from the human door.

The oversized raindrops were a bit sticky as the surface tension was, for sure, directly proportional to the scale. She slowly made her way through him, whose gaze was lost in the foreverness of the ocean. She watched as he stretched farther over her horizon line, much farther over her head and then finally, as he completely took over her vision as she got closer.

The raindrops stopped falling on her when she passed the lineage of the circular waterproof fabric hundreds of feet above. He wasn't acting like it but she was sure he had noticed her coming, he always did.

"Always by the sea... Why do you hate me so much?"

Mollie teased before letting out a short-lasting laugh, cranning her neck to be able to see his face... Well, more like underside of his jaw. He looked down and his eyes landed on her. She was not even sure if he could see her eyes, yet it WAS an eye contact. Roy smiled kindly and looked back up to his own vanishing point. He moved his umbrella to her direction and centered it on top of her, even though he knew it was already covering her before. The sound of huge raindrops falling just a few feet away from her tickled her ears.

"What so nice here anyway?"

She walked closer to his feet. She could smell the fresh polish he applied on his shoes just a day ago.

"Stay here with me for a little longer and you will find out" He replied softly without breaking his eye contact with waves for a moment, then glancing at her.

She shifted her attention back to the ocean and glanced around between the waves. "I guess I'll be here for a while, then"

"I would love that" he once again, smiled calmly.

She was a bit cold, but it was no excuse to get back into the house. Yes, maybe she didn't understand what he liked so much about the sea but just staying with him made her happy. And her staying with him made him happy. Despite her being really talkative, it was actually the speechless moments of pure togetherness she adored the most.

His long legs shifted behind her, transferring his weight onto them with a soft tremour, shielding her from the cold breeze. His movements calm and bare of rush, as they always were. After a short amount of time, she felt a movement behind her and noticed he was lowering himself on the ground, his stature folding in half and getting more than twice as big with the affect of perspective. He smootly reached for her and slightly spread out his fingers to reveal his palm, inviting her to join him up in the sky. She glanced at his ring, which was a symbol of their marriage. it warmed her heart seeing how well he took care of it, not a single piece of dust between the elegant engravings.

With her barely perceivable touch, she put one of her hands on the inner side of his forefinger and the other one on his thumb. She supported herself and climbed on it, her small weight barely forming a dent on the soft flesh. She felt the welcomed thrill of weightlessness as he began to rise her up in the air, making her previous ground shrink and shrink more until it stopped.

"Shoulder, please" she requested. He obeyed after he deeply studying her with his soft gaze. She took a step that led her on his shoulder after his hand was aligned with the level of it. She carefully passed his and made herself comfortable near the wall of his neck with the warmth of his life blood leaking on her. His presence was dominating yet somehow, so recessive that she felt like she was taking advantage of him. She was always grateful that the gentle giant was always so patient, so respectful and considerate of her needs. He was a gentleman from every angle and his manner and accent only made her opinion stronger.

She once again paid attention to the sound of rain, a wee bit muffled now as she was further away from the origin.

"Shall we go in?" His voice rumbled through her from where she was leaning her head on. Weird enough, even though she was this close to his voicebox, his voice always touched her so gently.

#g/t #giant tiny #giant/tiny #g/t art #g/t fluff #gentle giant #giant #gt art #gt fluff #g/t community #gt #gt writing #gt sfw #gianttiny #sfw giant tiny #g/t artist #g/t concept

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karikitdemonrp · 1 month ago

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//Starter for @toranoya's inuyasha and (eventually) kohaku cuz of what we talked about lol ENJOY!

The days were getting colder as summer came to an end, leaves began to change color and flowers started to wilt. People began to bundle up more and more, combating the colder weather outside. Gloves, scarves, coats, even earmuffs and hats for those who really couldn't stand the cold. Everyone outside was thankful for the modern times as they made their way indoors to turn on the heater and go about their day as the sun lowered into the sky, not quite setting yet but it was getting darker.

The sky now painted with darker blue hues that were joined by golds and oranges from the sun reaching it's end for the day. Children scurried in doors to join their families from a long day of school and play, eventually snuggling up under some heated blankets if they had them or just a warm blanket.

One such child did not have a family to return to not a proper home to warm up in. No, this child was alone with no one to call her family. No mother or father, just a bag of random items she had with her, a plush rabbit that was falling apart, some torn old clothes on her body, and a scarf that she never parted with. She never even tried to take the silver cloth off from around her neck, never wanting to lose it. This poor girl was on her own with no permanent home, going from one place to another the moment she was found.

As the sun set and the moon rose the child walked the streets, gripping her plush rabbit close to her person in her right arm while gripping the strap of her backpack filled with items she either found or stole tight with her left hand. Her posture was guarded as she just walked onward, her gaze shifting at every noise as she hopped into a dumpster, grabbing some food she found and eating whatever she could, this time it was some left over fried and a half eaten hamburger. Admittedly not the best, there might have been some mold on it or maybe it was something else. Was mold white and a weird thick liquid? She didn't know or care, as long as it didn't kill her. It did taste gross and the noises from the building near by were weird and gross too, she wouldn't be coming back here again if she could help it.

The child hopped out of the dumpster, still hungry when she heard the sound of a bell. It was distant, or was it in her head? Had she finally lost her mind from hunger? Confused, the seven year old decided to walk off, her legs acting of their own accord. It took an hour of walking, stepping onto sharp stones and tripping over tree roots, wait she was in a run down city earlier had she really walked so far? Regardless she had injured herself from walking so much, bleeding from scrapes and punctures that littered her legs and feet. That is until she finally was able to snap back to reality and look around. A clearing with an old tree, decorated in talismans and odd carvings that looked to have been there for a very long time. A circle made out of old rope surrounded the tree's roots and a small spherical silver bell waved in the wind, letting out a tiny chime just a bit, it was tied to some kind of post just inside the circle of rope.

Intrigued the seven year old went to take a closer look, however the moment her foot crossed over the rope she felt uneasy. The wind grew more intense and the tiny bell rang out in response. The violent wind smacked the child into the tree, which now gave off a glow from the carvings in it. The child passed out from such an intense hit and fell backward with a groan.

Hours passed, or maybe it was longer. The child couldn't tell, but she knew she was alive since she opened her eyes to birds chirping and the sun light pouring into her eyes. She hissed. "Ow." Her voice was soft and weak as she spoke, feeling her forehead a bit. No bump thankfully but she was still sore. Slowly the child stood, faltering a bit from her still cut up feet but she managed to stand and limp away, noticing that the rope that was once clearly old and faded, even fraying a bit, was now a vibrant red. The bell post and bell looked like new too. Turning she noticed that even the tree looked different. The talismans and carvings also looked newer. It weirded the child out so she just turned and limped away.

Eventually the child saw someone, a woman in feudal era clothing. She went up with a whimper. "E-excuse me." She managed weakly only for the woman to look at the child and give a horrified expression. "I... I don't know where I am. My head and feet hurt a lot. M-may I have some help." The child asked, her voice faltering a bit. The woman took a step back, looking at the child.

"You... Look human enough." The young woman muttered. "But you're dressed in such..." Then something seemed to click for the woman. "Wait! Are you from the present like Miss Kagome?"

"Wait... What?" The child blinked, a bit confused. "I... Wait..." She had to wrap her mind around this really quick but before she could, the young woman seemed to grow relieved, happily approaching the child and taking her tiny hands gently.

"Your clothes silly girl! Lady Kagome has similar clothes. Though yours are very different I can tell you are from the present! Come! I'll take you to Kaede's Village. You can get help there." Before the child could even protest the young woman easily picked the child up, noting how light she was. "Oh my, your feet and legs look awful and you could use a good meal. No time to waste! Oh, my name is Chiyo. What is your name?"

"Kari Kana Lee Himura. And this--" Kari held up her rabbit plush. "Is Tsuki." Chiyo smiled at the child in her arms and began to walk.

"Well it is nice to meet you both. Now let's get going, the sooner you meet Lady Kaede and Lady Kagome the sooner you can get help." Chiyo walked for a while, eventually coming across the village as the sun began to set, going to a specific house while greeting the villagers who were very kind to her and the child in her arms. Kari just curled up and tried to hide a bit. "Lady Kaede? Are Lady Kagome and her friends here? I saw Shippo and Kirara playing outside so I know they're all in the village or will return but I haven't seen any-- oh, hello everyone." The woman smile, holding up Kari a bit who hid. "I found this child and thought she came from where Lady Kagome is from. Is there anyway we can help her?"

#rp #Pure Tiny (Kari)#toranoya #//this was longer than expected #//holy shit #//hope it's ok

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wildemaven · 1 year ago

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meant to be | javier peña

-> pairing: javier peña x f!reader

-> wc: 1645

-> content warnings: 18+ blog; domestic javi, established relationship, unprotected p in v, fluff, talks of starting a family, reader has zero descriptive features

-> a/n: this was posted on my other account and i am moving it here now. it is also a rewrite of an older fic i did with frankie.

masterlist

Fall is settling in nicely in Texas. The days are still warm, but the weekends no longer hold as much daylight as they did weeks ago.

Everything transitioning into its autumnal journey, your yard drenched in rustic hues and sunshine.

You and Javier both loved taking advantage of the nicer weather, wanting to soak up as much of it as possible before the shift into a colder season, deciding to spend your evenings on the patio as the days wound down and the sun set behind the pasture on the west side of the ranch.

Chores were the first thing that needed to be tackled. Divide and conquer seemed to work well for you both. You took on the inside duties of laundry, dusting, and food prep, while Javier managed the outside— mowing, tree trimming, truck washing.

Bed made with clean sheets, a load of dirty clothes placed into the washer– the previous load hung in the backyard on the clothesline, dinner prepared and waiting– your list of to-do’s dwindling as the day went on. Now you find yourself planted at the sink of dirty dishes, your kitchen window a front row seat to the old barn, your eyes glued on your husband as he washes his truck.

His striped sky blue shirt encapsulates every detail of his back, sleeves tight around the bulk of his arms, muscles flexing as he scrubs the soapy sponge back and forth across the metal surface– and you thank whoever designed his well-fitted jeans. A week's worth of dirt slowly slid off the sides of the old ranch truck, a prized possession that had been passed down from Chucho when Javier had decided to take on more responsibilities around the ranch.

It has been two years since moving into the home Javier grew up in, wanting something big with the hopes of starting a family in the future. Chucho insisted you both move in, stating the house was far too big for just him— he moved into the ranch’s guest house down the dirt road. Memories tucked to every corner of the house, old family photos still hanging in the very spot his Mama placed them.

Javier must sense he’s being watched when he turns towards the kitchen window, catching your eyes on him. His gaze lingers a bit, soap and water dripping from the sponge in his large hand. He shoots you a wink with a smile that makes you instantly weak.

“Shit!” The mug you had been washing slips from your soapy hands into the water below, water splashing back at you, soaking the thin material of your dress, your attention drawn back to the sink and the remaining dishes. Somehow Javier still makes you flustered after all these years with just a simple look thrown your way.

Glancing back out the window again to find Javier is no longer there, the suds freely dripping off the truck door and sponge discarded on the ground. The creak of the screen door lets you know exactly where your husband is as you proceed to dry the drinking glasses and place them in the cupboard. His shuffling around in the living room does little to help you know what he’s up to.

“Javi?” You call out to him as you finish putting away the last of the plates and bowls, wiping the counter off before you go in search of your husband.

The slight crackle of a record starting makes you aware of his location– the living room. His old collection of records and record player had been boxed away in the attic after he moved away. Last Spring, while you were putting away the winter blankets, you stumbled upon his music collection– something from nearly every genre. You pulled everything down one weekend while he was busy in town with Chucho, having everything set up on the bookcase and a record going when he got home. It became a habit that one of you would slip on a new record, windows open allowing the breeze to carry the songs throughout the house.

A familiar tune begins, it instantly brings a smile to your face.

“Wise men say...”

The low timber of his voice sends a tingle down your spine any time he sings your wedding song. For such a reserved man, who refuses to indulge in karaoke, he jumps at any chance to serenade you within the walls of your home— one of the many things you love about him.

A set of arms wrap around you, welcoming you back from your walk down memory lane, pulling you against his chest as he begins to move about the kitchen with you. Your bodies swaying together as the music continues, his face nuzzled in close to your cheek as he hums along with the song.

“Like a river flows

Surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes

Some things are meant to be…”

Your body leans into him, the rest of the chores fully abandoned as you both waver about the kitchen, savoring how easy it is to create new memories in your home.

“You sure know how to get out of chores Peña.” You tell him just as he spins you around so you’re facing him, looping your arms around his neck while his hands settle on your back— Javier singing along completely ignoring your comment.

“If I’m not mistaken Querida, I’m pretty sure you were hardly putting an effort into yours.” He teases you before grabbing your hand to send you twirling around. You can’t contain your laughter, living for these spontaneous moments of ease with the man you’re so completely head over heels for. Your body is pulled back into his, resuming the energetic flow between the two of you. A sweet rhythm of bliss now strumming through your body as you melt into his arms.

“Hmm, I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Hiding your smirk into his warm neck, knowing full well what he’s referring to.

“That wasn’t you gawking at me through the window—“

“I was not gawking, Javi!” As you playfully pat his chest. “I was just admiring the view.”

“You were in fact gawking. I think I clocked you at 10 minutes from the first moment I noticed you hadn’t moved.”

“You are so exaggerating!” He’s definitely not wrong though, it’s hard to pull your eyes away from such a thing of beauty.

“How about we take this to the bedroom, Querida– and I’ll show you exaggeration!” He taunts into your ear.

“Javier! Your truck is half washed in the driveway— and I know you’re going to be pissed about the soap drying on it right now. Plus, I already made the bed.”

He’s dragging you back towards the stairs that lead to the bedroom, his infectious smirk displayed across his stupid handsome face, your body doing little to stop itself from his magnetic pull.

“I’ll just wash it again. I’ll even set a chair up for you to admire up close. Get you one of those ice cold beers too.” He says as he falls back into the bed, pulling your body on top of his.

“And I’m pretty sure this won’t be the last time we dirty these sheets this weekend…” His voice muffled against your neck, his lips planting kiss after kiss as he pleads his case– you easily succumb to his antics.

His hands work at the line of buttons that trail down the front of your dress, your own undoing his buckle before working at the button and zipper of his jeans– he hisses as your hands hastily move over bugle straining behind his jeans.

Your dress is open and hanging off your shoulders as you slowly sink down on Javier’s cock, the stretch of him a welcomed adjustment, his length hitting something delicious as you settle at the base of him.

“Fuck, Javi!!” Hands splayed over Javier’s firm chest for support, your head thrown back as a rapturous whine pours out into the room, a slight bounce to your breasts as you move— the cups of your bra pulled down, the cool air has your nipples pebbled and tight. Javier is taken by your angelic state— you're a sight to be seen.

Javier’s fingers are digging into the meat of your thighs, the slow stuttering roll of your hips as you move over his cock has him worked up faster than he has anticipated.

“Querida— Shit! Baby, I’m not gonna last— you look so good riding my cock like that!” His hips bucking up at the feeling of your cunt clenching around him.

“I’m right there with you, Amor!”

A few swipes over your throbbing clit and a string of quick thrusts, both of you cresting the euphoric peak in unison.

You collapse on top of Javier, a strong arm wraps around your waist, a hand cupping your neck, Javier determined to keep you as close as possible— you fully melting into his touch.

Breathing ragged and hearts racing— bodies perfectly satiated and filled with an intense love for each other.

“I should probably get up and get dinner started. That should be plenty of time for you to rewash the truck.” You don’t show any signs of actually doing so, too relaxed to care about finishing the rest of your chores.

“Or— we can just lay here a little longer. Save the food and truck washing for tomorrow. We can go into town later and get dinner instead.”

“A man after my heart. I’d marry you if I wasn’t already.” He rolls you off him onto your back, hands roaming over your dewy skin as he kisses you slowly.

The lull of the record player echoes through the house as the music fades out, clothes and sheets are thrown about the bedroom, the day’s plans forgotten as you both seek out a more exhilarating afternoon.

#javier peña #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x f!reader #wildemaven writes #pedro pascal

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greenlightbulbonawire · 1 month ago

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Misfits (yeah like the Arcane song)

Christmas special!!

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Author’s note: Hello chat, I’m here with another chapter but this one is a little different since it's a Xmas special, also, this is NOT CANON TO THE BOOK. It's just a little fun thing that was suggested to me and I thought you would appreciate it. I hope all of you are having a great time and that you got everything you wanted, and if you wanna share what were some of your gifts, feel free to do so, I wanna knowww :3

previous chapter: Fifty fifth chapter

next chapter: -

Masterlist (doesn't work properly)

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The weather in Zaun had been progressively getting colder and more harsh, something that wasn’t exactly new to you, but it was a distant concept. You remembered some things from your childhood, yet a lot of your memories were blurry and unreachable. That was okay though, now you had Ekko and the Firelights, who would help you anytime and make new, better memories with you. A loud bang coming from your shut door sounded through your room, waking you up from your dreams, not that anything special. Most of the time, you would just dream of being in a prison cell, talking to Vi. You shot up with a gasp and quickly came to your senses, rolling your eyes and going to open the door, the wooden ground cold against your bare feet. Familiar figure greeted you with a flashy smile as the doors opened and a hand ruffled your hair, messing up your already tangled bed hair further. “What happened to hello? Good morning? How are you?” You protested and shooed the hand out of your hair, faking a frown and folding your arms in front of your chest. Not only to make you look more upset, but also because the chilly outside air was seeping around your body and into your room. Ekko chuckled at your reaction, looking you up and down, as if to only prolong your exposure to the harsh elements of outside instead of already coming in. But then he decided to have mercy on you and his other hand, the one that wasn’t assaulting your hair previously, carrying some cloth or something, took said object and pulled it around your shoulders. “I brought you some warmer clothes, can’t let my favourite Firelight freeze, especially since it snowed last night.”

The Leader of Firelights finally spoke up, bringing your attention to the white glow that was coming from behind him. How did you not notice that before?

“Snowed…?” “You know, the white stuff that falls from the sky when it gets cold?? I mean, I know you spend most of your life in Stillwater, you make sure to remind me of that every chance you get, but c’mon! You gotta know what snow is!” Ekko replied, seeming a little too passionate about you having to know what snow was, was it really that important? Before you replied, your nose started to change color due to the cold and you had decided you had enough of it, so you grabbed the boy’s arm and pulled him inside of your room, shutting the door behind him. “Don’t get your panties in a twist I’m just messing with you, I know what snow is, cold water basically. But what I do not know is why you’re wearing that? Seems like a bold fashion choice.” Your finger was pointed at the ridiculous red hat with white lining that Ekko had stuck over his hair. Not only was it ugly on its own, but the fact that the very leader of the Firelights was wearing it made it ten times more funny. Ekkos eyes widened slightly and he covered his mouth with his hand for a moment before exclaiming: “You don’t know what Christmas is!”

Since that realisation, Ekko made it his personal goal to explain everything about Christmas to you, because there was no way his favourite Firelight, as he himself called you, would be left in the dark about his favourite holiday. Noone really expected Ekko to be big on traditions and all that, but the way the Firelight base always lit up this time of the year, proved everyone wrong. Maybe it was because it made him feel peaceful, maybe it stemmed from the fact that Christmas used to be Powders favourite holiday, it didn’t matter when at the end of the day, you thought your brain would melt from all the information thrown at you, not to mention how Ekko got the both of you tangled into the lights you were helping him put up. However, Ekko wasn’t even nearly done and right now, he was dragging you through a street market place, explaining to you that you were supposed to get gifts for your loved ones and give them on a specific day. You would’ve thought that this made the most sense out of all the things you learned today, if it wasn’t for Ekko buying a piece of some random plant while telling you that.

“So who’s that for? Who in the Firelights would you give something like that to?” You asked, rather confused, though you were getting used to that feeling by now. The boy only chuckled at your question and shook his head, giving you a weird look that you couldn't quite read, but it made you think he was hiding something and that wasn’t really giving your mind the closure it needed.

“It’s not a gift, you aren’t supposed to let others know what you’re giving to anyone, that ruins the surprise, this is for another tradition.” “Oh yeah? Like if there wasn’t enough. Aaaand what tradition would that be then, Ekko?” “You’ll see, you’ll see.” Great, not only did that stupid look not disappear from his face, it got more and more evident that he did in fact have something planned.

The leader's hands were firmly grasping your legs as you sat on his shoulders while Vesp, Scars oldest daughter and your favourite firelight kid, stood on yours, tying another string with the plant attached to it to some pipe high up. It was impressive how Ekko seemed to carry both of you with no struggle whatsoever, but your mind was desperately trying to forget that his head was right there and his hands were on your thighs and focus on keeping Vesp stable. She looked down at you and gave you a thumbs up, when the string was neatly tied and you helped to lower her enough for Ekko to grab and place her safely onto the ground. And right when the little girl's feet hit the ground, she ran off somewhere. “Wanna get down too?” Ekko turned his head upwards as his hands returned back to your thighs, a grin painting his lips. “Yes. Yes I do.”

You replied quickly, not knowing how much longer you could remain in that position without a nosebleed and when you expected Ekko to crouch down so you could get off, he moved his hands to the underside of your legs and pushed you up, catching you mid air and holding you bridal style for a few moments, before he finally stopped torturing you and set you down.

“That was so incredibly unnecessary, I know you’re strong, no need for all that. Showoff.” Ekko scoffed at your comment and rolled his eyes at you while you wiped your pants just to be dramatic. Your eyes were set on your hands and you weren’t paying much attention to Ekko, your heart rate finally returning to the healthy range. That is until Ekko grabbed your cheeks with his hand and brought your face up, turning it into the direction of Vesp and one other little Firelight girl. They were standing under one of the plants on a string the three of you set up around the base and Vesp pointed up at it, making the other kiddo look up and in that moment, Vesp gave her a little peck on the cheek.

“I wonder if that had anything to do with the tradition connected to the mistletoes we bought.”

You furrowed your brows and turned your face in his direction, looking at him with a confused look and your mouth slightly agape. For a moment, you were gonna say something smartass back, but when you noticed Ekkos smug expression and looked up at the mistletoe danglight above you, it was too late to say anything. Ekko moved his hand from your cheek to cover your eyes and before you even got the chance to say anything, you were silenced by the feeling of his lips against yours. Your whole body froze up as he, somehow even after all the hints the poor guy gave you, completely surprised you. And then he pulled away, the warmth he shared with you lingering for a fleeting moment before disappearing completely. His hand peeled off of your face and your eyes met his and the two of you just stood there, looking at each other, both of your lips were slowly twisting upwards. Then a little snicker escaped out of his and you both erupted into laughter. “That was so corny I can’t.”You managed to say in between laughs, but then you stopped and looked at him again, before grabbing the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and pulling him closer. “My turn tho.”

(Okay guys I whipped this up at 1AM yesterday so if it’s as shit as I think it is, that’s why TT. But since a kiss in the fic won’t happen anytime soon, I thought I’d give you an out of canon one at least. Anyway, this is my christmas gift to yall, so hope it was to yalls satisfaction :P) (also completely unrelated but i found a new hyperfixation and its fucking transformers so thats fun)

#arcane #ekko #ekko arcane #ekko league of legends #ekko x reader #arcane ekko x reader #arcane rewritten #did i mention ekko?#ekko arcane x reader #arcane silco #they kissed #finally #christmas special #fluff #Spotify

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talon-dragonbeast · 4 months ago

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today i want to talk about my hearthome, the coniferous forest, and how i lived there as a dragon. ill be using the words "memory", "remember", and the past tense a lot as an aid, despite me not having a past life. this is because they are noemata, things that never really happened but which i know to be true and are as important as any past life memory. this gets pretty long, so lets begin already.

i dont know how or when I found my forest. i was not born there, and although i know there mustve been other dragons somewhere, none ever visited my forest. if i had to guess, im pretty sure i was born among other dragons, but left them once i reached adulthood. im a pretty solitary dragon, as ive talked about before on this blog, and i have a pretty strong protective instinct. so once i left my fellow dragons, its no wonder i would choose a territory of my own that i could defend from others. and ive always preferred colder climates, so the coniferous forest was perfect for me.

my forest was not huge, but not too small either. it took several hours to walk from one corner to another, so i spent all my day patrolling it. my den was located right in the center, in a cave with a hidden entrance where i had my nest made of moss and my hoard of found objects and shiny things. the cave was tall but small, not uncomfortably so (i could stretch out comfortably without ever touching the walls), but just enough so that it made me feel cooped up and safe. right outside my den was a river that led to the mountains surrounding the forest, and marked the end of my territory. the mountains were a vantage point from which I could see any approaching enemies, so they greatly aided in my territory's defense.

the weather was not great, but for me it was just perfect. a dense fog in the morning that blocked the first rays of sunshine, the air always humid and heavy on the tongue, so cold it stinged the back of your mouth and made breathing difficult. light rain fell almost constantly from the gray skies, turning to snow in winter and thunderstorm in spring. the ground was always slightly damp, covered with brown pine needles and green moss, the soil underneath so dark it was almost black. the trees were tall and intimidating, all coniferous with a rich mix of pine, larch, spruce and fir, silent guardians much as I was. sometimes, the rain would stop and turn the forest into a nearly dreamlike place, with the sky a blue so intense it hurt the eyes, the sun shining with a strange energy that seemed to cool instead of warm. on those days, the air seemed to stand still, everything becoming so quiet you could almost hear the silence, as if the whole forest was holding its breath.

there were animals in my forest, of course. deer and fish and mice and elk and, most importantly, crows. i held a close relationship with the local murder that was similar to the symbiotic relationship between wolves and crows in the wild. they helped me locate prey, informed me of intruders and accompanied me on my patrols, and in return i gave them part of the kill, protected their nests and helped them with any trouble they might get into (you wouldnt believe the kinds of shenanigans the little buggers would manage to find themselves in!). i was at the top of the food chain, and was in charge of maintaining the balance of the ecosystem. i helped the forest, and the forest helped me.

there isnt really a conclusion to this. today im feeling a bit nostalgic, probably because the weather is getting colder and colder and it reminds me of home. my forest, the home of my heart, to which i can never return. writing this has made me feel a bit better, but the pain is still there. the truth is, i still miss it terribly. i miss my den, how safe it made me feel. i miss the crows, my murder, my only companions. i miss feeling the ground beneath my claws, the crunching of pine needles and the soft cold dirt underneath. i miss the emotion of the hunt, the long naps under the sun, the stargazing of an infinite night sky.

but what i miss the most i think, is the feeling of belonging. of being part of the ecosystem, not detached from but actively participating in it. in this human life, its too easy to forget i am an animal too; humans seem so keen to separate themselves from the natural world that they have forgotten that they are part of it like any other living being. i guess what i really miss is simply being able to leave my mark somewhere. feeling that i am doing something. feeling important, needed. but again, dont we all?

#whispers of the dragon #otherkin #otherhearted #alterhuman #crowhearted #corvidhearted #nonhuman #dragonkin #hearthome #hearthomes #talon is once again being sappy guys #my writings #long post #i guess

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abiatackerman · 9 months ago

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First Date

It's just another peaceful afternoon inside the wall. Levi stands near the mess hall, waiting for you as the breeze starts to get colder. And finally as you approach, his gaze lingers on your face, the soft light catching the strands of hair that escape your bun. The delicate pink of your long skirt flutters in the breeze, and he can't help but notice the chapped texture of your lips—a testament to the harsh weather beyond the walls. You're not just adorable, you're a captivating contradiction of strength and vulnerability.

Levi has invited you on a date. Well not an invitation, everyone knows he'll never directly say that. He just told you he's going to the market and if you need to go or not... And of course, you jumped at the opportunity and said yes immediately.

Doesn't matter if it's just a market, or a shop.... He invited you to spend some time with him, alone.... That's a huge deal for him. And you're on cloud 9 because you're finally going on a date with him.

"Come on, we're going."

He speaks, his voice is calm but cold, his expression stoic as he waits for you to approach him.

"Yes, let's go. Lead the way, cap."

You say playfully. As soon as you say his title, Levi suddenly has emotions again, and his face hardens. He turns away, but not without grunting.

It's late in the afternoon, the sun is already setting. You notice that he leads you in the opposite direction of the market, to the countryside.

"We aren't going to the central market?"

You ask with confusion.

"No."

He says curtly.

"Then where are we going?"

You ask curiously.

"Somewhere little quieter."

He answers as both you keep walking, you notice that he's not talking much. He doesn't look like he wants to talk at all. It's just the two of you in complete silence, the wind blowing your hair behind your shoulder. After a while you two reach a beautiful countryside and you can't help but admire the view…

The sun is getting lower, casting a golden ray on the trees and the grass beneath your shoes. The sky is covered in pink clouds, and it couldn't be more romantic...

You smile and decid to break the silence with a joke.

"You know? If I rape you here you won't be able to call for any help."

You say it as a joke but a chill runs down through Levi's spine. His eyebrow twitches but he says nothing. He just stares at you for a long beat, seeming to study you, and then he slowly reaches across the space between you two. He takes your hand, and when you feel his cold and steely fingers wrap around yours, the tension in your chest explodes with a burst of warmth. He pulls you closer and you can feel his warmth radiate between your bodies. This is the closest you've been to him ever...

His expression is neutral as he stares down at you, as if debating whether to kiss you. Then, without warning, he leans forward, his mouth slowly descending and colliding with yours. It's a deep, passionate kiss that makes your heart thunder in your chest and drives you wild with desire. You don't think, you don't hesitate, you just let yourself get lost in his kisses... And it feels like you're drowning in his love...

As his tongue meets yours, you gasp, your body trembling from the pleasure. Your hands slide up to his jawline, caressing his strong bones as you melt into the kiss. His arms encircle your waist, pulling you closer to his firm chest, holding you securely against his body.

He holds you there for what seems like hours, caressing your hips, kissing you deeply. Your body is buzzing with ecstasy, and everything else seems to stop. All you can focus on is his lips and his touch. He finally breaks the kiss, and stares at you as if looking into your soul. His eyes are intense and unreadable as he searches you.

"You know? I brushed my teeth and drank a cup of tea with 4 spoons of sugar, because I thought this might happen."

You breathe heavily as you speak and smile. Then you hug his waist, pressing your face into his neck. The embrace sends shivers through Levi's body, but he holds you tighter. He buries his face into your neck and inhales deeply, enjoying your smell. He breathes you in as if inhaling an addictive drug, his eyes closing tight as he enjoys the scent of your hair.

You two remain in the position for a while, enjoying each other's embrace. Then Levi slowly pulls away, slapping your ass playfully.

"You're a grown ass woman, but you talk like a damn brat!"

"And you like it."

Your sass makes his lips twitch. It's as if he can't be completely serious with you. He's trying his hardest to remain calm but you can tell he's enjoying your game with him.

You look at the view again, the sun has set and the stars are starting to shine, creating a splendid view. Levi stares into the sky too for a while. The stars twinkling bright. He then turns to you, his expression stern.

"We need to get back to the hq."

You sigh at his words and nod as you respond playfully.

"Yeah, if we spend the whole night here... Hange won't stop teasing any of us.... She'll definitely tease us horribly."

He rolls his eyes, annoyed that you're thinking of Hange in a moment like this.

"As if we care about what Hange would say. Do you have some sort of kink about having our relationship outed to the whole world?"

He scolds you for mentioning Hange as he leads you back to the HQ by holding your hand. You smile widely and intertwine your fingers with him.

"Obviously.... I want to let the whole world to know that I'm yours."

He grunts and turns his face away from you for a second before muttering in a soft tone.

"You're such a brat...."

"And you're a 34 year old man. Don't you feel any shame in dating a brat?"

You retort, laughing.

"Tch..."

He makes a disgruntled sound and stops walking. He then turns to glare at you.

"Don't try to play me here, miss. You're a grown ass woman. I'm not dating a brat."

He puts his hands on his hip, looking at you with that stern look of his As he starts to act playfully, you smile contently.

At least you're entertaining him, right? Making him wanting to laugh and happy? That's what matters to you the most.

"Then don't call me a brat, Mr! Otherwise I'll call you old man."

At your words, he rolls his eyes, knowing damn well that he's fallen for you like there is no tomorrow. That doesn't mean he won't admit it, especially when you're playing and bantering with him. He crosses his arm across his chest before he lets a smirk slip on his face.

"Old man, my ass."

"Your ass is flat."

Your playful comment and sticking your tongue out at him gives you a playful elbow to the ribs from him. You're too funny to be mad at, and he can't help but grin at your cheeky attitude.

"You little brat…"

You chucked and elbow him back.

"Tch... You're the sexiest person I've ever seen.... Happy? Now let's go back because I'm afraid of insects. And if one of them is gonna land on my body I'll scream so loudly that you'll go deaf."

He chuckles at the thought of you freaking out over a tiny insect. And your little threats make him tease you even more.

"Don't worry brat, I'll protect you."

Then he pulls you over to his other arm and tucks you snugly in the crook of his arm as he continues down the quiet woodland path to the HQ.

A/N: Hello there, everyone. Well I just wanted to make a romantic-comedy oneshot because I know damn well the bad boy manga has made all of us depressed. Hope you all will be able to like it.

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awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 2 months ago

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Rain Blues (Axl Rose x Slash)

Summary: Rain seems to bring out the worst memories for Slash and Axl. How would they cheer up the other?

TW: mentions of past abuse

A/N: As you voted, here's this little Slaxl fic. I really missed writing for them, it was fun to get into my hurt/comfort groove. I hope you'll like it and comments are always appreciated.

The rain started trickling down the windows around 6 am. Slash was sure about that because he had the displeasure of waking up and looking at his alarm clock, the blurry numbers being the only source of light in the dim bedroom. He stared at the droplets on the glass, imagining them to be in a race, like he had been doing since he was little. Usually he would have never been up at that time of the day, but fall always seemed to fuck up his internal clock like it did with changing the color of the leaves. The only good thing was that Axl was still sleeping, his breathing coming out soft and steady. The redhead always had problems sleeping to the point Slash got used to feeling someone tossing and turning near him, but the colder months were even more brutal to Axl' sleep cycle. But as long as there wasn't screaming involved, Slash was more than happy to let him enjoy some rest. There was no point in going back to sleep, at least not in the near future, so he got out of the bed, reached for his cigarettes and headed towards the balcony, making sure to close the door as quietly as possible.

The crisp morning air hit him in the face, his nose wrinkling at the sudden sensation as his skin slowly got used to the wind. The city seemed to be still asleep and the rain only gave it a sinister look, which was highlighted by the gray sky and dark clouds that Slash hated so much, even if he couldn't exactly pinpoint why or maybe he didn't want to.

Without wasting more time he lit up his cigarette, at least if he had to be miserable he would have satisfied his cravings, and kept looking out. Without the obvious differences, the city reminded him of his childhood spent in London, when his parents were still together even if the weather was shitty, when he had less problems and was carefree, yet LA always warmed his heart with the excessive heat, colorful life and the dream of becoming a rockstar. Maybe he was turning into his beloved snakes that needed constant sun exposure to live.

The noise of the balcony door opening almost blended with the rain's to the point that Slash thought he might have just imagined it, however the two arms who slowly surrounded him, Axl's chin resting on his shoulder. He slowly went to position his hands over his boyfriend's but Axl flinched away.

"It's okay. No touch". Slash stated and Axl seemed content enough with the answer, keeping holding his boyfriend.

Over time the guitarist learned it was easier to treat Axl like a cat: slow movements, letting him get close and allowing him to get away if he wanted to, especially when he was silent and clingy, clear signs of Axl's mind playing tricks on him. Slash took a long drag from his cigarette, focusing his eyes on the landscape, but even if the sun was slowly rising, the sky remained gray.

"This weather fucking sucks." He wasn't surprised by the silence that followed, it would have been stupid to expect Axl to talk, however the words were just pushed out of his mouth.

He was used to being the silent one, while Axl kept talking for days, so whenever these moments happened, he always had a slight embarrassment washing over him. Without even noticing it, Slash moved his hair forward, hiding his face even if nobody could see him.

"Rain is just so fucking melancholic. I hate..." he took a pause, shifting his attention to his cigarette, "I hate this feeling."

Axl's arms seemed to get tighter around him, probably in an attempt to comfort him, then his hands started to go up and down Slash's arm smoothly. A warm, welcoming sensation formed in the guitarist's stomach, so much different from the wind brushing against his skin and it made him think a bit. Usually, whenever he felt like that, the solution was drinking a bottle of Jack or worst case scenario getting high, he never thought a hug could feel like that even after all the time he and Axl had been together.

Slowly he got used to it and he had the feeling Axl was enjoying the distraction as much as him, occasionally resting his head on Slash's shoulder a couple of times. But soon his cigarette was over and reality crushed back in, as the sky got somehow darker.

"We should probably get inside. We can rest some more before I need to get to the studio".

Axl seemed to agree and let the other man go, stepping in front of him. Face to face, Slash felt compelled to observe Axl's face while simultaneously feeling his boyfriend's gaze doing the same: dark circles were sitting under his eyes, his freckles were a faded memory due the lack of sun, yet Slash felt the uncontrollable urge to kiss him, only to refrain himself. He would never overstep the "no touch" rule and neither he wanted to get punched, however Axl seemed to have read his mind, because his lips were soon planted on Slash's.

The shitty rain, the chilly wind, his appointment, all seemed to disappear in the background leaving him to enjoy the moment. If only Axl's kiss also had the power to skip ahead to June and get them on a beautiful beach where they could relax and not freeze their butts off. He moved his hands in his boyfriend's hair, making sure to be as careful as possible but Axl seemed to feel better and he even returned the favor by letting his fingers wander all around Slash's forearm.

A familiar warmth started to make its way in his body and he knew that if he didn't stop now, they would end up making out in the rain so he slowly let the redhead go.

"We really need to go or we're gonna get drenched".

Axl seemed to agree, tugging Slash's wrist and leading him towards their bedroom, leaving the sad rainy sky behind. Once they were back in bed, Slash looked at the ceiling waiting for his boyfriend to make his first move, if he wanted, while his own head started to run in circles.

He wasn't the overthinking type or the one to indulge in sadness, the only emotions he liked were the good ones and he hoped anything else could be erased by either alcohol or being busy enough. He didn't even know why he felt so nostalgic, why his brain kept going back to London and his parents and it almost made him scream in frustration.

"Maybe we can shower together. You know, it's almost time for you to get ready". Axl's voice managed to snap him out of his tumultuous thoughts.

"Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I can handle that kind of touch". The redhead shrugged his shoulders, however Slash analyzed him for a second. No signs of distress or anger were visible so eventually he agreed.

Following his boyfriend into the bathroom, Slash realized maybe that was the solution: a hot, steamy shower and his gorgeous boyfriend helping him get clean. Yeah, it sounded like something that could make both of them relax and especially a nice distraction before stepping out in the rain.

---

Axl poured a hefty dose of coffee into his mug. Slash left already for the studio, yet he couldn't ease the heaviness that was squishing his heart and every thought seemed to drive back to his boyfriend. The redhead thought that the shower would help him, he even put his still persistent discomfort aside, but Slash's gaze still felt distant even when he was devouring him with lust and his demeanor just lacked his usual chill.

Did something happen? Or is he mad at me?

Rationally Axl knew it wasn't the case, and if it was he shouldn't have cared, but it was so strange to feel Slash's muscles so tensed up, his usual silence being a shade more depressing than it usually would have been. It was Axl's role being the moody one, yet there was something bothering Slash and he needed to do something about it. Screw his brain, screw whatever memory was lingering around his mind, he needed to cheer Slash up.

But how?

Talking always helped Axl out but it wasn't Slash's case, the guitarist was either too chill to care or would just feel awkward talking about it, which was counter-productive. Taking another sip, he scanned the kitchen and took the little notepad stuck on the fridge deciding to brainstorm some ideas.

What made Slash happy?

Snakes. Well, Bonnie and Clyde were currently chilling in their heated cages and fed before their owner left. He had no desire to buy another snake.

A bottle of Jack. A quick and dangerous solution. Something Slash wouldn't object to but also too basic and definitely he didn't need him to drink more than he was already doing.

Sex. Again, something Slash wouldn't say no to but the shower proved that when their minds weren't in the right place, their game sucked. Plus, Axl didn't think he had it in him at that moment, forcing himself would have made things more depressing than they already were.

Horror movies. Now, that was something Axl could work with. They could be rented fairly easily, Slash would have a nice distraction for a couple of hours and he might even join him. Plus, thinking about it, didn't Slash mention a recently released horror movie he wanted to see at the movie theater but never got the chance to? That was the perfect idea! Dumping the mug in the sink, the singer tried his best to get ready as fast as possible, dodging himself into his car and hitting the breaks.

The rain was merciless, making sure to soak as much of Axl's clothes as possible which only made him regret more his decision of getting out of the house. Fidgeting with the bracelets on his wrist, he made sure to scan closely the horror section but he couldn't help but feel invisible eyes all over him, praying and waiting to lure him. Mostly he didn't want to be recognized by any fan at that moment but there was also a more hidden fear.

He couldn't find him, could he?

"Do you need help, sir?" The unknown voice made his heart jump more than Axl would ever admit but soon he realized it was only the cashier. He was glad he decided to wear sunglasses inside, even if that made him look even crazier than he already was.

"No, thanks". He opted to say, almost regretting using his voice and not just shaking his head.

He could still feel the intense beating in his ears while picking a random VHS from the shelf, making sure to focus all his attention on it. The shivers and the pressure on his head signaling a headache didn't matter because he had to find the movie. After seemingly endless time, his eyes took a glimpse of a familiar image. Yes, it was just what he needed.

"Oh, that's a great movie!" The cashier started politely and Axl couldn't do much but to give him a fake smile. He just hoped Slash liked it.

On the way to his car, while the rain seemed to slow down a bit, the singer couldn't help but feel like a piece was missing. Was just a movie okay? Shouldn't he have done something more?

He almost didn't notice passing a supermarket until his eyes were caught by some flashy Christmas decorations. For fuck's sake, it was November still. However, it wouldn't hurt too much to stop by.

Yeah, maybe he knew what to add to movie night.

–

Slash thought that the temporary distraction from discussing and recording his new guitar parts would have lasted longer, however as soon as he stepped outside and was hit by the rain, his morale dropped back to zero.

He hated feeling this heavy, he hated the invisible grip his mind seemed to hold over his body at that moment, he just wanted to be carefree. Instead he found himself nervously playing with his fingers as he waited to start his car, dreading having to come back home but not because of Axl but the lack of control over himself.

Running a hand through his already frizzy hair, he took a deep breath. He wasn't like him to be this emotional and probably everything would have been over by tomorrow yet he hated being stuck into the present.

"Get it together, Slash. Axl's probably worried".

Axl. Slash didn't stop thinking about him even in the recording booth, hoping that his mood didn't drop down too much or that he didn't have any accidents. He didn't exactly know how to call them, they didn't seem like panic attacks: he just knew Axl wouldn't move and started crying and screaming. This type of weather didn't seem to be forgiving with him either, which made Slash lose his cool even more.

After what had seemed ages, Slash finally entered his house, only to be met with the kitchen door closed. He raised his eyebrow in confusion, usually Axl would jump on him as soon as he heard the front door unlocking but there was no sign of him.

"Ax, where are you?" He asked, with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Kitchen, do not come in". Axl yelled. "Go to the living room, I'll join you soon".

"Okay". Now Slash was freaking out a bit. Did Axl want to talk about something? Or worse, did something happen?

What the hell was happening? He and Axl went through the worst shit and came out still together. Yeah and so did Slash's parents before divorcing. He started to run his bracelets up and down his wrist as the faint sound of rain came back. Maybe the rain was really cursed. He stopped dead in his tracks once he noticed the TV on, more precisely showing a VHS screen movie.

Fidgeting with the remote, he couldn't help but smile once he saw the title popping up on the screen. He had no idea if it was a case or if Axl really picked it up for him but either way his heart skipped a beat, not out of anxiety this time. Slash sat down and kept playing with the remote, patiently waiting for Axl until muffled steps could be heard.

"Close your eyes". The redhead demanded.

"What?"

"I know it's stupid but it's a surprise, so close your eyes".

Slash gave up, covering his eyes with his hand and waiting for Axl's instructions. Was he about to give him something? Or maybe Axl was about to tease him by wearing Slash's clothes again. Either way, he started to feel a hot rush.

"You can open them".

Certainly what met Slash's eyes was very curious: a big bowl of potato chips, some homemade cupcakes, two sliders and... spiders? Taking a closer look he realized the spiders were just chocolate balls and that the potato chips were bat shaped, meanwhile both the cupcakes and the sliders had received some Halloween decoration.

"Wow".

"I stopped at the supermarket. It's all pre-made shit and Halloween kits for kids, don't flatter yourself by thinking I would cook for you". Axl's harsh tone hid all his insecurities, starting from the way his eyes dropped down and his body language was ready to fight.

One of the hardest things Slash had to come to terms with was to learn Axl's way of interpreting the world: his stepfather and the people around him growing up made sure to install some beliefs that were hard to eradicate, resulting in Axl always being ready to pounce to avoid being disappointed.

"Of course. But still, thank you". He wanted to use more meaningful words but they seemed to die in his throat, overwhelmed by such a nice gesture. Just like that, Axl managed to help him forget the pouring rain outside and instead warm his heart.

Slowly, he pressed the play button while waiting for Axl to sit next to him. Just like earlier, he didn't force or initiate any contact but soon enough his boyfriend was leaning his head on his shoulder and Slash made sure to hold him in his arms. Soon, his hand found his way to Axl's lower back and he started to gently rub it while, on the TV, the main character started to raise their voice, making Axl scooping a bit closer to him.

"Are you sure you are not afraid?" Slash teased him.

"Fuck you". Axl replied.

"At least let's wait until the end of the movie". Slash regretted saying those words as soon as they left his mouth but Axl didn't seem to be offended or scared. Instead, he started to trace Slash's tattoos while the other man resumed his rubbing.

Eventually, all the sounds started to blend and it became increasingly harder to focus when he could feel the redhead's breathing on his neck, sending tingly sensation all the way down to his back. Soon, his lips found Axl's cheeks as he planted a kiss. His boyfriend responded by kissing him back on his mouth, the sugary taste of the cupcake still lingering and Slash's hands gripped every inch of Axl's back, soaking in the warmth irradiating from the skin until they parted away.

"God, they are so fucking stupid! Why don't they just hide?" Axl broke the silence.

“They can't hear you”. Slash shot back with a smile.

“I don’t care, they are still idiots!”

The guitarist decided to stay silent, preferring to position his body so that Axl could hold him. The redhead didn’t let the opportunity slide, starting to play with Slash’s hair almost as if he was a cat, earring a happy sigh from the other man. While his mind was still focused on the movie, his brain and thoughts seemed to be shut by Axl’s touch, his heartbeat slowed and the heaviness surrounding it seemed to be lifted at every fingertips on his skin.

Maybe this was the solution for rainy days: stay in each other’s arms forever. Slash liked that idea, anything that could make his brain shut and his heart happy.

–

Hands, all over Axl’s body. Purple bruises started appearing all over his pale skin but it wasn’t the worst sensation at that moment: the little droplets falling from his hair and his clothes bothered him more. He was shivering but he wasn’t allowed to change, he wasn’t punished enough according to his stepfather.

“You dared to say that?! On the Lord’s Day!” Axl’s heart started to beat so fast that he thought he could have died right there.

He kinda wished he did. It would have been better.

He stayed silent while his throat was closing up. How many times did he have to relive that? Wasn’t the torture enough? The water even started to burn, leaving marks alongside his bruises. It wasn’t supposed to happen… why was he burning?

“You’re the devil, William. I know Lucifer is inside you, but I’ll get it out”.

His airways were definitely closed now… he knelt to the floor, gasping for air and only later he realized what was happening: two strong hands were around his throat, choking him out. His eyes started to get heavy, his vision blurry but he waited for the voice, his angel’s voice, the one who seemed to always rescue him whenever he was having a nightmare. But this time the voice didn’t come, instead Axl collapsed on the floor and his stepfather’s grin was the last thing he saw before waking up.

Once his eyes were open, he started to feel the space next to him waiting to meet Slash’s body but instead his finger clashed with the cold sheets. His heart started to beat faster but he opted to focus his ears, hoping to listen to the shower running, but instead it was met with silence.

“He left you”. His brain supplied him.

It couldn’t be, there were no reasons for Slash to leave like that, it had to be something else. The suffocating sensation seemed to come to reality again, forcing Axl to run on low oxygen as he started to walk the bedroom in circles. The windows were tainted with raindrops again, which only increased Axl’s worry: if it was pouring, why did Slash leave?

“Because he is sick of you. You didn’t let him sleep last night”.

“No”. The redhead replied out loud, sitting on his bed.

It couldn’t be, it wasn’t the first time he had nightmares so why leave now? It didn’t make sense. He started to pick the skin around his finger, desperately trying to keep himself lucid and to find a plausible answer to all of this. His throat still felt like he was being strangled and the rain seemed to only get louder each second passed.

“You have fucking done it William. You deserve to be left alone, in your sins”.

Axl immediately covered his ears with his hand as strong as he could, until he could feel his finger digging into his skull. Maybe if he held that position long enough everything would have been okay… maybe he was having a nightmare again and he just needed to wake up. The sound of the rain, the feeling of having cotton into his ears and his stepfather’s voice all melted together, making him unable to move or hear anything. He just wanted Slash back, he needed him so bad.

“Axl?” The voice at the back of his mind seemed to mock him, reminding him of the man he had lost.

“Axl, it’s me. Can you turn around please?” The voice said again, this time not just in his head.

Collecting all his energies, Axl’s body moved only to be met with Slash’s worried face. He almost wanted to laugh at the sick joke his mind was playing on him, until he felt a cold sensation under his fingertips: Slash’s bracelets were damp and laying under his hand.

“You’re back.” He managed to choke out. His stepfather was wrong and Axl was so relieved.

“Of course I am.” Slash said, like it was so obvious. Little did he know, Axl's brain was still screaming at him.

The guitarist held his hand, waiting for his boyfriend to either take it or ignore it. Axl’s body felt the urge to squeeze it, to grasp it until he would feel safe again and beg him to never leave him again. He only used a fraction of his strength, he held Slash’s hand feeling the cold rings against his palm, a weirdly calming sensation.

The rings were there. He was there.

“You were gone. I opened my eyes and the bed was empty”. He hated himself so much for saying those words, for using that lost puppy tone as if he wasn’t an adult and him and Slash hadn’t been together for years now.

“Ax, I’m sorry! I thought it would take less time, but this fucking rain slows everything down”. He gently started to rub circles on Axl’s fingers while his free hand went to grab a plastic bag.

The redhead couldn’t help but feel chills all down his arms at the sudden touch. Once again, he was disgusted with himself for being so scared even of the guy that did nothing but support him. How much patience had Slash left? Was the breaking point near and was he pushing him to it?

No wonder nobody loved you, you’re a fucking piece of work.

Shaking his head, he grabbed the bag that soon revealed a small pale yellow box with a writing on it : Macy’s. It was Axl’s favorite bakery, located on the other side of the town.

“Slash… what the fuck did you do?!” The singer cringed at how bad his tone sounded. God, he was a real asshole, the guy drove through the rain and that was how Axl thanked him. “You’re crazy, it’s pouring out there!” He corrected himself.

His boyfriend shrugged his shoulders and moved some strands of hair out of his face. Axl was glad to see that the dark light that seemed to taint his eyes the previous day was replaced by a usual tiredness, both a blessing and a curse of how well the movie night went but also how little he let Slash rest.

“It wasn’t that bad when I left the house, it got worse on the way there and the fucking traffic… oh man, people seem to forget how to fucking drive in situations like these!” He chuckled, releasing Axl’s hand. “Now open that box, little shit”.

A strong sugary smell invaded his nostrils as he lifted the container to reveal four chocolate cookies, all looking insanely pretty and incredibly delicious. Axl stared at the food then back to Slash, who had a pleased smile pasted on his face, clearly enjoying the good outcome of his mission.

“Thanks”. The redhead’s voice was barely audible, probably he should have spoken louder to not seem ungrateful but the words died in his throat a bit. After an initial hesitation, Axl went to take a bite out of his food, only to be interrupted by Slash’s voice.

“Wait! I forgot to start the coffee machine. Shit, gimme me a minute, okay? I’ll go in the kitchen and I’ll be right back”.

“There’s no need to…” Axl started but his boyfriend was already gone.

Putting his cookie aside, Axl’s heart was still beating faster than normal and he couldn’t figure out why. Slash was just in the kitchen, he wouldn’t leave. He knew it wasn’t what was bothering him anymore, then why his hands were starting to get sweaty?

You gotta repay him.

The realization hit him like a truck, making his eyes wander all over the room. He didn’t think he had the energy to return the favor back to Slash but what if that disappointed him?

You did the whole movie thing the other day. Slash would never ask anything in return.

His rational side chimed in, making the redhead exhale loudly only to be crushed with doubt again: would really that be the case? Or the fairytale would end soon? In his confused state, he didn’t even notice his hands starting shaking neither the soothing pressure and the overgrowing heat, only when his hand felt like burning he realized that he was helding a hot mug and that the pressure was from Slash’s hands over his.

Stuffing down the urge to jump away, he waited a moment while Slash quickly snatched away his hands, looking almost mortified. Axl wanted to punch himself so bad, maybe he should have or maybe break the old lamp in the living room.

“Sorry”. Slash said and then he took a sip out of his coffee.

The redhead shook his head and tried his best to give the other man a convincing smile, opting to focus on drinking his mug. The silence seemed to prolong for hours even if it was five minutes at best, the time to drink their coffees and eat their cookies, while letting occasionally satisfying noises of approval at the decadent dessert.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you what happened at the store! Dude, LA is fucking crazy!” Slash broke the silence and Axl’s heart started to beat normally again.

“Wanna get in the bed and tell me? It’s freezing here”. Axl said, sliding under the sheets.

Slash grinned and happily followed his boyfriend, opening his arms and waiting for Axl to cuddle against him, which didn’t take much time. He made sure to move as slowly as possible and the singer was grateful for that. The calming voice of the guitarist, who progressively got more excited in telling his story, made every voice and thought in Axl’s mind dissapear.

He didn’t realize the rain started pouring again, too busy listening to Slash and feeling his arms around his body. Whoever thought that the solution for rainy days was a morning spent in bed and Slash’s contagious laugh as he talked about a old lady yelling to sue the bakery because “they run out of oatmeal cookies”.

#guns and roses #axl rose #slash #80srock #80s rock band #slash gnr #fanfiction #my fanfiction #guns n' roses #guns n' roses fanfiction #slaxl #Axl rose x Slash #hurt/comfort

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