#skinny failure
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
punchurlightsout · 5 months ago
Text
maybe Herbert West isn’t misogynistic and Meg Halsey isn’t homophobic. Maybe you guys are just weird
13 notes · View notes
blujayonthewing · 2 months ago
Text
if losing weight was simple and obvious we wouldn't have to have teams of nutritionists meticulously crafting weight-loss programs based on taking advantage of extremely specific and obscure biological processes and that still have like a 95% failure rate
7 notes · View notes
bruciemilf · 1 year ago
Text
Alberto Falcone does not get the attention he should and I can't wait for the penguin to remedy that
40 notes · View notes
yanderepuck · 1 month ago
Text
.
2 notes · View notes
ghostsareskinny · 2 years ago
Text
Am I ever gonna get there?
6 notes · View notes
captain-lovelace · 2 years ago
Text
Why are you so afraid of growing old? Is it because of the idea that you’ll be unattractive? Fat? Sick? Because if the answer is any of the above please unpack why you feel that way. You are not immune to fatphobia, ageism, ableism, and body negativity, and your fears are not inherently neutral.
Accept that you have a human body that will change over time. No shut up do it
3K notes · View notes
aquat0fana · 4 months ago
Text
sonetimes I feel like I wanna recover and lose weight in a healthy way but eating more than 500 cals always makes me gain, like ana is literally the only way for me not to hate myself
0 notes
fitnesflag · 8 months ago
Text
Why do some people fail to gain weight?
Tumblr media
Hey there, friends! Today, let's dive into a topic that doesn't always get as much attention as weight loss: the struggle to gain weight. 💪 While many folks are on a journey to shed those extra pounds, there are others who find themselves facing a different challenge altogether: trying to pack on some healthy weight.
So, why do some people fail to gain weight, despite their best efforts? Well, just like weight loss, it's not always as straightforward as it seems. There are a variety of factors at play, both internal and external, that can make it difficult to tip the scales in the right direction.
Tumblr media
One common roadblock is a fast metabolism. 🏃‍♂️ Some people are blessed with a metabolism that burns through calories at lightning speed, making it a constant struggle to consume enough food to keep up. No matter how much they eat, they just can't seem to put on the pounds.
Then there's the issue of appetite. For some folks, getting enough calories down the hatch is easier said than done. Whether it's due to a busy schedule, stress, or simply a lack of interest in food, they struggle to eat enough to support weight gain.
Of course, there are also medical conditions that can interfere with weight gain. From thyroid disorders to gastrointestinal issues, certain health conditions can make it difficult for the body to absorb nutrients properly, leading to unintentional weight loss or difficulty gaining weight.
And let's not overlook the role of genetics. Just as some people are predisposed to being lean, others may have a genetic makeup that makes it harder for them to put on weight. While genetics aren't destiny, they can certainly play a significant role in our body composition and metabolism.
But here's the good news: just like with weight loss, there are strategies that can help you overcome the challenges of gaining weight. It may require some trial and error, and a bit of patience, but it is possible.
Tumblr media
For starters, focus on nutrient-dense foods that pack a calorie punch. 🥑🍗 Incorporate plenty of healthy fats, lean proteins, and complex carbohydrates into your diet to fuel your body and support muscle growth. And don't forget to listen to your body and give it the rest and recovery it needs to build strength and size.
So, if you've found yourself struggling to gain weight, know that you're not alone. Be patient with yourself, stay consistent with your efforts, and remember that progress takes time. With dedication, perseverance, and a bit of strategic eating, you can achieve your weight gain goals and feel confident and strong in your body. You've got this! 💪🍔👊
0 notes
fatmasc · 1 year ago
Text
Sometimes ur fat bc u were born that way. Ur parents are fat, ur cousins are fat, u always have been fat.
And sometimes, you become fat. Something happened (puberty, change in diet, change in ability, anything) and someone who was once skinny is now fat. This doesnt make you a failure. It just means ur fat now. Its okay. You didnt do something wrong.
No matter how you are fat, its okay to be fat
36K notes · View notes
tsukikitsune-exe · 1 year ago
Text
I'm having surgery for the first time in like a week and I'm lowkey scared
0 notes
crusaderfortruthiness · 2 years ago
Text
Listen I get that “even fit gay guys have body image issues” or whatever but the fact remains that there are those with 10% body fat and those without, and fit gays are treated MATERIALLY BETTER by their so-called “community”
0 notes
thedeepmiracleperfection · 1 year ago
Text
1 in 5 people have still had feverish visions though! that's a not insignificant amount of the population!
for me, it was because i was in a charter high school that was so demanding and so unforgiving and I was so stressed out that my body began to break down and I experienced very a painful bout of psychosomatic illness that included a pseudo fever (i wasn't actually overheating but my body felt like it was) complete with visual and auditory hallucinations. fun times.
#don't worry i did get better#because it was psychosomatic they couldn't like prescribe me anything#but with rest it eventually went away#this was only after extensive tests to determine that there was nothing physically wrong with me though#it's dangerous for a doctor to be like “actually i think this is all in your head” without ruling out everything else it could be#and even then a good doctor will acknowledge that even though the cause isn't physiological the symptoms themselves are still very real#don't let doctors dismiss your pain#i ended up dropping out of that high school after i had a mental breakdown in my sophomore year#i had undiagnosed adhd that my teachers called laziness and I had more than 8 hours of homework every single night#including weekends and holidays#i was 16 years old and doing 80+ hours of mental labor a week#while also being told that i was a failure and not worth anything#i left that school and got counseling and when i told the counselor the shit i had been through she was like#fyi that's abuse how tf is that school even open#oh i didn't even mention what my hallucinations were#basically i was surrounded by talking and singing parrots and the devil appeared to me in the form of a skinny white tumblr man#think human bill cypher but satan#top hat and waistcoat and everything#and basically he had (ironically) a come to jesus moment with me where he basically told me#that if i didn't change something about my environment i was going to end up killing myself#i had been struggling with suicidal thoughts for a long time and at that point i was nearing the edge#i knew he was right so when I came home from the hospital i made a promise to myself to take the steps necessary to recover#it was a horrible experience but it renewed my determination to not die and to live a life where i was happy#that was 6 years ago and I'm in a much better place now#thanks satan's tumblrsona you really helped me out there
825 notes · View notes
charmedreincarnation · 1 year ago
Note
Hi Maya I was one of your first anons back in March and I manifested my dream life. i just wanted to share some things that helped me, and hope we can all pass some knowledge so we all get our desires life. I did, you did, and everyone reading this can and will so let’s all try to help out by sharing a little of our journey. I’ll never create a blog because tumblr is a mess, so I’ll just share them here bc I trust you as a creator and I hope you agree with what I’m saying. Even if you don’t these are my assumptions and my truth
il get into my methods in one second but users of tumblr there are only 4 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE LAW (Inspired heavily by you bc I used your blog religiously) I will say you’re kind of too nice and I wish I had someone to yell at me like this, and tell me to stop being a victim!!! So if it sounds aggressive it’s because it is in the best loving way possible.OKAY SO.
★you need to understand that you want to fulfill yourself in imagination because you don’t care about the desires only how you feel about it. Bare with me it sounds stupid I know. But I don’t care about men or how they feel about me. I just want to feel worshiped and love, and I could fulfill that in my imagination. I don’t care about money??? It’s fucking paper !!! I just want to feel secure and financially free and want the feeling of buying my favorite clothes without looking at the tag. I GOT THE SAME FEELING FROM PINTREST EVEN WHEN I WAS POOR GODDAMNIT. I didn’t care about getting all As in school when I’ve always believed school is not a representation of intelligence. I wanted to feel recognized adored and respected which I had to feel for myself in my mind before it projected. I don’t care about looking skinny, I just wanted to feel snatched, I wanted to be envied, and feel pretty. And in my mind everyone wanted to be me even when I was ugly and fat. BUT I DIDNT FEEL FAT. Even with no change in the 3D I had my desires. This applies to all your desires, and you really need to understand that.
★you can affirm,visualize, understand states, understand non dualism, use the Bible or Torah m, wall twerk and say “I AM THAT BITXH,” use sats YADADAA . No one cares it doesn’t matter. you don’t have to feel anything or, even believe in wth you’re doing. As long as you think that having it in imagination means it’s yours that’s all that matter. I’ve read so many teachers, Neville, Abraham, Abdullah, Edward art, paid coaches, and they all do different things but say the same thing. FAITH IS KEY. That’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone you otherwise or tell you what you have to do. All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.
★YOU ARE GOD. You know what a god is, you know how a god works, you know god can do anything with a snap of a finger, kill anyone with a thought, look anyway it wants, have anything everything and create whatever. You are an omnipotent loving creator so create and give yourself everything.
★you can’t over consume, you can think from lack of whatever, and doubt can’t hinder you unless you think it does. Having a desire does not mean you’re lacking or else having the wanting for it would mean that too no? When creators say that I want to slam my head against the wall. Even now I have all my desires and I still think about them constantly. Thinking of new clothes to buy with MY WEALTH, I think of new food to eat that won’t even affect my SNATCHED BODY, i find new places to try and explore bc MY SOCIAL CIRCLE IS HUGE AND IM SO LOVED, I think of new makeup up to try to enhance my GORGEOUS PRINCESS FACE. I think of it in the same way from when I didn’t have my desired (I always had them in imagination but you know what I mean.) so there is no thinking from lack, or else you’re always lacking it lmfao the fuck. Anyways I doubted my abilities up until I manifested my dream life. I was okay with it in imagination and whether it reflected or not it was my escape I was content with. DID YOU SEE THAT. I had doubts up until the very end, and it doesn’t mean shit unless you think it does. Just affirm having doubts and obsessions only speed up your results. That’s really all it is.
Now to my story if anyone cares. I won’t make a blog for reason number 2 and 3 listed above. That’s all you need but if you want more info for curiosity go for it. I know I was curious and that didn’t stop me from getting my dream life. Anyways I have the same story as about everyone else here. My life sucked, I found the law, and it worked! HOORAY!!! But how did I do it???? Easy peasy, in a couple of steps.
☞ I tattooed my four rules above in my mind. When fear and doubt emerged I sunk that shit like the titanic and went with my laws that I created. It’s literally called the law of assumption like come on, stop fighting with yourself when you assume and create reality.
☞I ignored anything that I didn’t agree with. Sometimes I’d get so mad and be like WHAT NO WHY WOULD THAT BLOGGER OR COACH OR ANON or whoever say that?? But am I dumb ??? each of us have our own reality our own bubbles. The fact that it works for them and not for me started to only motivate me more. It doesn’t work bc I assume sooo… sooo why not just assume the opposite and focus on my rules like they did. The law is always in effect and working. Either it’s in your favor or it’s not. It’s up to you
☞I used affirmations bc repetition is the only thing that works for my logical brain. Anything can change with repetition. It’s basic science. So in the morning and night time I would affirm. ONCE. Repetition meant for me doing it everyday and not wanting. The rest of my day was lived in my imaginations. And the affirmation was to remind me in my vulnerable state that I already have my desires. That’s why my affirmation was “I have my desires no matter what, and everything I do brings them to me faster than the speed of light” it was kind of funny and made me chuckle but I accepted it as facts. Look guys…
☞I didn’t repress myself. If I cried or yelled or told myself “FUCK YOU” it wasn’t me tf. It was the devil or something. Be like those Christian fuckers who when their child comes out as gay…it’s the devil within them or whatever. I would talk to myself, yell when doubt emerged and when my thoughts weren’t the ones I wanted. It wasn’t fucking me so get the fuck out I have my desires so who tf are you ??? It will feel weird but you’ll get used to it trust me. If you’re uncomfortable it’s working. Getting rid of bad habits and your comfort in dwelling in bad thoughts is uncomfortable but it’s worth it.
I manifested my dream life back in March. I LITERALLY WOKE WITH MY DREAM LIFE. A complete 180. I won’t talk about my past life bc I completely revised it and I’m the only one who remembers so for the most part it feels like a long nightmare that has past. I’ll just talk about what I changed instead because that’s the stuff we all want to hear. Anyways I’ll just post some of my list here.
♥ my life feels like the song rich kids by freak ocean
♥I’m a pretty spoiled princess who gets everything I want but I’m still kind
♥I revised my entire family from looks to personality to zodiac to religion and etc. i rewrote my story which included my family
♥I have natural admired intelligent
♥my family has a net worth of 500 million dollars, and my entire family stems from old money. (Think aristocrats not slave or colonization money)
♥I can play many instruments and speak many languages
♥ I am 5’2, 100 pounds, I have natural stunning vixen beauty, and the most desires body in the world. I’m the beauty standard and people either want to be me or date me. I am naturally skinny and have no worries about my weight, I have clear skin that only gets clearer with my skincare routine, and I have my desired personality where I’m kind but also don’t put up with any shit from anyone because I know I’m that bitch. I also have great style and embody a princess !
♥my life is a combination of my favorite watpadd stories, Gilmore girls, gossip girl, and mean girls.
♥ too many people pursue me I have too many options
♥I have a perfect school life, social life, family life, friend life, and people always wonder what I did to be “so lucky it’s unfair”
♥my family has multiple mansions in America, monoco,Australia, france, and China.
♥I’m a daddies and mommies money girl
♥I put myself first (I HAD SUFFERED TOO LONG I NEEDED A SOFT LIFE)
♥everyone’s purpose it to make my life easier and make me happier
♥I’m spoiled and privileged in every aspect of my life
♥I’m a master shifter, and manifester
♥I revised my age to 14. I was 18 and graduating but I wanted to redo high school how I had envisioned it all my life
♥I have a “cool mom” people are always jealous how lucky I am
♥I have my main estate in Hollywood hills with my family that’s in a gated, gorgeous, gate kept neighborhood. It is 30,000 sq feet with my dreams decor, dream cars, dream pets, dream house help, dream room with all my stuff saved on Pinterest including decor, furniture, clothes, shoes, makeup and skincare.
♥everything good in my life I have manifested and it’s too much to list. THERES NOT REASON FEAR OR WAIT. Do what you want and assume it still works and it will.
You honestly said it better than I could have. Literally every single one of these points are so valid :)!! I’m glad you think I inspired you love but all I did was allow you recognize your own godly abilities. I’m very proud of you, and have fun girl 🥹❤️
Also. “All teachers were once students, all success stories were once struggled failures, all masters were once lost okay. You are god so have some faith in yourself.” This one million times !!!!! Invest your faith into yourself more than anyone else and you’ll see how fast your reality conforms. I also adore your point about the state of lacking bc I never believed in that. If wanting your desires insinuates it’s not yours, we would have no thoughts since that’s where it all originates from. In fact Edward explains it pretty well.
When Edward looks at lack, he sees it as being something that is only brought about by the individual. He believes that your own actions, thoughts, and attitudes will bring about an artificial scarcity of resources. Edward says that this artificial lack of resources is not actually real—it exists only in our minds, as we focus on the things that we don’t have rather than the things that are available to us.
He believes that true lack only exists when someone has no access to resources—whether those resources be financial, physical, mental, or emotional. When someone has access to resources but they squander them or don’t use them to their advantage, it isn’t a lack of resources that is at fault—it is the individual’s personal choices and attitudes that create the feeling of lack. Same way we see attractive people feel ugly though they have women or men chasing them, modeling opportunities, and experience many examples of pretty privilege lol. You’re a hot girl.. you’re just not using it to your advantage, same way you have everything in imagination and access to anything yet… nothing bc of your own perceptions. That’s not lack. Simply inappropriate usage of recourse. A waste for better use of words.
4K notes · View notes
archangeldyke-all · 5 months ago
Note
can you write something about sevika getting chubbier by skipping the gym because she's focusing on you and other priorities in her life. and finding out she's pleasantly surprised by the extra weight
YES I FUCKING CAN!!!!!!!
men and minors dni
since you've moved in together six months ago, sevika's put on some weight.
she's a tall woman, and she's ripped with muscle, so it's hard to tell at first. but... over time you begin to notice a bit of a change.
her hips are a little plusher beneath your grip, her ribs aren't visible anymore, her sharp jawline gets a little softer.
it makes you so fucking happy.
when you first met her, the woman barely ate. besides whiskey and bar nuts, her appetite mostly consisted of eating whatever scraps jinx leaves behind on her plate after lunch.
you made it a habit to shove snacks in her hands at any chance you got. trail mix, granola bars, sliced fruit: just whatever you had near you that you could give her. she always digs in without hesitation, never tries to deny the food, so you start shoving snacks in her pockets when you do her laundry, and her beg when she's not looking.
as you guys grew closer, sevika started blowing off her nightly visits to the gym to visit with you instead. you asked her once over dinner if she missed her hobby, and she'd just shrugged, smiling at you. "i'll still get a pretty good workout in with you once we get home, babe." she teased. you snorted and elbowed her, shoveling another bite of cake in her mouth, and she smirked as she spoke around a glob of chocolate frosting. "gym's not as fun as you, anyways."
she's still just as strong as she was before; if anything, the extra fat on her body just gives her more fuel to last longer during her fights-- more padding to block and diffuse her opponent's blows.
as much as you love the visual confirmation that you're feeding your girl properly, and she's treating herself a little softer these days; most of the time you don't even notice the weight gain. it's still sevika: the love of your fucking life. she's never brought it up to you, and you've never brought it up to her.
but now, she's standing in front of the mirror, pouting down at her pants.
you blink up from you book and watch her for a second, her hand groping the little pouch of fat she's put on her lower stomach. her lips twitch up at the side just a bit, just for a second, but it still makes your heart flop over to see.
"sev?" you ask.
she turns around to look at you. "my pants don't button anymore." she pouts. you chuckle, making grabby hands for your girlfriend from your shared bed. sevika launches herself in your arms without hesitation. she huffs against your tits, nuzzling your chest.
"i'll alter 'em for you. i know how attached you are to those dusty things."
sevika chuckles, pinches your side before she glares at you. "you like these dusty things too-- they show off my ass."
"mmhmm, real well." you say, nodding and smacking her ass on top of you. sevika giggles and collapses against you again.
she's quiet, drawing a pattern on your skin with her finger. you know she's got something on her mind, you just wait patiently for her to find the words.
"y'know i've gained, like, forty five pounds since we met?" she asks.
you raise an eyebrow at her.
"yeah?" you ask, trying to read her mood. sevika smiles.
"yeah." she says. "i've always been skinny-- at least, since i started puberty. i was a chunky kid, though." she chuckles. you grin at the image of a chubby baby sevika toddling around.
"are you... upset?" you ask quietly.
sevika chuckles. "fuck no." she says. "it's... nice?" she asks. you grin down at her.
"yeah?"
"yeah. i dunno. it's just... i don't feel like i have to train everyday anymore. i don't feel like a fuckin' failure if i skip a day at the gym. i don't get migraines or hangovers as bad anymore, and..." she trails off, looking away from you. you nudge her, recognizing the flustered look on her face and dying to know what's got her blushing. "i dunno." she whispers, chancing a glance up at you. "when i look down and see my stomach's soft... it just makes me think of all the nice meals i got to eat with you to get this way." she says with a sweet smile.
you choke a bit on your breath, then flip the pair of you over, groaning as you bury your face against sevika's giggling throat. "sev!" you whine.
"what?" she asks, laughing.
"you can't just say sweet shit like that baby, you'll make me cry." you whimper against her.
sevika kisses you head and smacks your ass, her free hand drawing patterns into your back. "you can cry babe. i'll hold you."
this does nothing to stop your tears. you groan and pinch sevika's soft side, relishing in the squeal it pulls from her, and the way her rock-hard abs are covered in a nice layer now-- all 'cause of you.
taglist!
@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676 @vixel352 @artinvain
534 notes · View notes
springlock-suits · 10 months ago
Text
Be the change you wish to see in the world (make more fat William)
Why are there barely any fat William designs out there, esp considering its canon (in the books at least) like genuine question
#even if you prefer skinny william for whatever reason you can still just only make him fat pre springlock failure its that easy cmon man#cmonnnn#i lnow people like for will n hen contrast but like they can still be fat and contrast just not to a more extreme#give em different heights. make one bigger than the other. win.#and personally imo i actually prefer making em not contrast. theyre the same oughhh theyre the same and if things were slightly different#they could've even swapped places in the story#thats what i did for my au its awesome#canon may have been weird about it i agree but you *pointing emoji* can always make more than just william fat#i rarely post all my designs but i have like 4 different fat characters off the top of my head. i can make more#reblog#you can at least make william Not Skinny cmonnnnn (trying to entice you)#im losing my mind over here man. please. pleasee. we need more big williams. i only know of two blogs and one of them is me#i could plop most of the designs i see into a vivziepop show no problem (derogatory)#i hadn't considered that some people might just Not Know. i forgot that was an option#bc when the book first came out everyone pointed it out. usually because of the baffling description of 'a financially shrewd santa claus'#so even ppl that didn't read the book knew#and it came to light again w the graphic novel because everyone hated pinkypills#i guess that explains why in that poll i saw awhile ago people were voting that william didn't deal with financial stuff in fredbears#<-in tse william is described as only doing the financial stuff and none of the animatronic. if i remember right#i have more to say but im holding myself back#bwah but it all means nothing anyway because the fatphobia is the biggest problem esp outside of my little bubble#sometimes insta likes to recommend me cringe repost accounts despite my desperate blocked of them#ive seen people make fun of fat william cosplayers alot <-saying it lightly#not to mention how bad it is with the games themselves.... augh....#ive accepted that skinny william will always be the fanon but hey while im here. skinny springbonnie is the worst#why are you making the animatronic mascot costume skinny. ill kill you. that doesn't even make sense#im using a general you in all of this im not targeting anyway just aughhhhhh everytime i look at fanart ir content#ive been getting so frustrated recently#anyone*#anyway good night everpony
43 notes · View notes
whispereons · 1 month ago
Text
Insecurity [Fem Reader x Yandere Male]
Masterlist
Warning! This is a VERY self indulgent yandere fic. Describes stalking and creepy behavior. Long descriptions of body shaming and (you guessed it) insecurities done by the reader. Done in one take and not edited very well.
Brains and brawn may compete to be superior. But it was beauty that triumphed both.
Beauty that you craved. To be beautiful, to be seen as attractive. Hell to even have someone think that you just made the cut to be 'cute' would be all you need.
Yet you never got a second glance your way all your life. The people around you, your friends, your family, even strangers on the street looked better then you.
Were you too fat? Too skinny? Disproportionate? Maybe your cheeks were chubby or gaunt.
You didn't know and every glance in the mirror was a scathing reminder of what was wrong with you, with your face, with your body.
A new flaw was found each time and the previous ones only grew worse.
It began small when you were just young enough to notice that pretty people were treated differently.
At first it didn't bother you, you would hit puberty, you would get that magical glow up sometime soon.
But those hopes grew dimmer with each passing day. Sure you changed but it was basically for the worse. Now you looked and felt awkward in your own body.
People you were interested in laughed around your friends freely and only gave a hesitant pitying chuckle or hum when you spoke. Right before going back to your friends without another glance as you would stare at the floor and worry if you said something bad or if you just looked bad.
But your friends had completely different genes then you. Surely it could just be an ethnicity preference right?
Nope, you were proven wrong when family members your age with similar enough skin tone or eye shape or lip shape or anything else you had who had no problem attracting people.
‘You shouldn't judge a book by its cover.’ 
‘The right person will like you for you and not your looks.’
Sayings that you took to heart to console yourself but it was like poison to your brain and heart.
The thoughts mutated from picking at your body to your personality too. Yet you still tried to be presentable in some way.
Scrubbing your body every shower till the skin was raw red. As many products you could get a hold on to treat the stubborn acne that just wouldn't go away. Plucking any out of place hairs on your face and shaving anything that could cause people to even think of you as hairy.
The only thing you didn't touch was the makeup that was tempting yet scary to you.
You heard everyone talk about it. Other girls bragging about how they snagged a hot guy with the right makeup. Only for the guys to whisper their disgust at their bare face.
Girls complaining about the increased acne and costs of make up. Guys praising about how ‘natural’ their girlfriends were when you could see the layers they had on, clearly unable to tell the difference.
Pros and cons were thrown all around but whenever you asked if make up was good or not, you recieved the same damn answer.
‘The right guy will like you for you. With or without makeup.’
You weren't oblivious to how neither told you that you were beautiful just the way you were.
The only ones who did were the sought after attractive women who only said it to console you in some way.
In the end you waited too long. By the time you got the courage to seriously try, you were out of high-school and too deeply involved in life to have time to struggle and fail.
It only ate away at your conscious but the fear of being ridiculed and laughed at for wearing bad makeup that made you even uglier then you already were was enough to stress you to tears.
What could you do but give up?
Maybe you were better off this way. 
Alone you weren't going to be hurt in a relationship. 
Alone you couldn't cry over your nonexistent boyfriend's insults when you fight.
Alone you would never be validated in your sinking thoughts of what a failure of person you were.
That's probably why you could never feel validated in whether you were attractive as you matured. The self loathing thoughts and feelings grew but you kept it locked away. 
Mirrors were scarcely seen and photos were always refused or just ignored. It was like the insults were written on your face for all to laugh at.
So why the hell were you the one targeted by some random guy in your college to be stalked?
This wasn't the first time you've seen him but this was definitely the closest he's ever come to you as you sit in a library just a table away from him.
His eyes were still on you as you stared nervously at your computer screen. You haven't been able to type a single word since you noticed his presence.
Subtly you looked up and scanned the room just to take another peek at him.
Yup, he was attractive as hell. Way out of your league.
Handsome, fit, and tall. He's got it all yet he's watching you with a smile that borders between sexy and hungry.
He's got the serial killer vibe down to the art cause that's the only fucking reason he could be stalking you for the past few weeks. 
It was around a month ago that you actually noticed him. Simply brushing off his glances as something he was directing to your friends.
After you left to the bathroom and came back you locked eyes with him. He kept that stare up even as you blushed and looked away.
It didn't even occur to you that he thought you were attractive, you just thought that you had food staining your lips.
Sitting back with your friends, you couldn't push down the feeling of being the ugly duckling as you all laughed at a joke yet yours was like nails on a chalkboard.
Loud, out of tune and unwanted.
It took a week for you to note the footsteps behind you whenever you walked back to your car after late night classes.
When you noticed that it was him again, you brushed it off thinking that he just had late classes.
His stares were probably just ones of worry since it was nearing midnight and you were walking alone. You had heard about him before, a kind man that was as charming as he was sweet.
An ideal man that you wouldn't suspect. Which only made the serial killer suspicion much stronger when you overheard him denying having classes on the days of your late night classes.
But even then it would be crazy to assume he's stalking you. At least until you saw his car parked just a block away from your house when you were positive he lived in a different city.
It was the weekend for crying out loud! There was no way in hell that he could be near your house every weekend.
But maybe he had family or friends or anything else attractive popular people had going on.
Besides if he was just normal and interested romantically, he would be chatting up your friends. If he was a serial killer then he would still be targeting your friends. You've never heard of a serial killer who only targeted ugly people. 
You'd rather be a surprise suicide then be known as a victim of a serial killer who's MO was ugly people. Even you had a limit.
But the anxiety over the situation was killing you. As a last ditch effort last week you decided to test something out.
Yesterday you loudly told your friends that you planned on doing some vigorous self studying tomorrow for the upcoming exam at the library. You knew that none of them would be able to make it due to their various personal responsibilities but that was the point.
And you were fucking right as he keeps his eyes on you when you knew he didn't have any classes today. And it's not like he's studying with his bag still on the chair and his lips sucking on the straw in the drink he had in his hands.
So what if you eyed the way his Adam's apple bobbed with each gulp?
He's probably planning on using this opportunity to kill you since you're all alone. Might as well let your eyes feast on something good before your death.
Holding back your anxiety over how he'll slaughter you, you heard another student walk up to him and clap his shoulder.
“What's good man? Didn't expect to see you here today. Thought you told me that your next class wasn't till Monday?”
Fucking called it!
But before you could celebrate your minor and frankly bad news considering that you've been confirmed to have a serial killer on your trail, you heard your stalker respond.
“Nothing much, just came here to study while we still have time before the midterms.” He chuckled and you could only bite your lips in jealousy.
Damn him for having such a nice voice. It was smooth and rich, the kind of voice you knew would make anyone melt at the sound.
An all around 10/10 and you wished that you could take even half a point from him.
It was too much, the revelation that you're going to be murdered soon paired with having to hear your soon to be murderer having got the greatest luck in life to be attractive was too distracting.
Packing up quickly you tried to leave without being noticed as you caught the end of the conversation.
“You should come to my place for the weekend. I've invited a few hot chicks and-”
“Sorry, I've already got plans for the this weekend. I'll be real busy till the exam and maybe even then for a while. I'll catch you later though.”
Walking out the library you made a beeline for the campus exit when you heard the heavy footsteps of him close by. 
Damn it, you should have just stayed inside.
The streets weren't very crowded as a festival was being held on the other side of the city for some holiday you didn't care to remember.
Therefore it quickly became just you and him on the walk to the garage. The tight grip you had on your bag loosened as you tried to rationalize everything. 
Maybe he wasn't a serial killer and you were just paranoid. Everything could just be a coincidence that you're blowing out of proportion.
Getting to your car you fumbled with your keys as the sweat of your palms made it hard to sort through. 
Maybe you weren't fucked is what you would think if a large hand wasn't pressed against the rim of your beat up car from behind you as hot air ghosted your neck.
“Sorry if I startled you, you're Y/n right? One of your friends was talking to me about you.”
Stiff as a board you turned around and all the blood drained from your face at the way he towered over you.
Only for it to come rushing back and burn your cheeks as he leaned down. Pretty eyes stared into yours as his soft yet slightly curled hair framed his face.
His lips pulled into a smile as you leaned away till your back was touching your car as he asked. “Sorry if this is a bit sudden but I needed some help with one of my classes and she said that you aced it last semester.”
“Do you mind coming over to my place tomorrow to help me with it?”
You were so fucked.
This right here is mostly for myself but also for all my fellow insecure girlies who can't get behind certain portrayals of fem readers.
I recently read one that gave such a detailed description of a fem readers body who didn't tag it correctly and felt like shit after reading.
This isn't going to be serious, it's comedic mostly and pretty much self indulgent as warned above. It's also an outlet for me to finally get those stupid thoughts out of my head.
It's also a callback to the original reason I was attracted to yanderes if it wasn't obvious. Also I have no clue on what name or appearance aside from his hair to give him. So if anyone has any ideas go ahead and put them in the comments or send a ask so I can decide.
260 notes · View notes