#skin flints

[socialjusticeinamerica]

Meet Republican Jesus.

[tidesreach]

absolutely love that the pirate poll drama has inadvertently caused a black sails renaissance of sorts like there are now a bunch of people watching it for the first time so truly tumblr user pirate-battle

[pengtheplush]

[kylejsugarman]

gus and lalo have played cards every night for 15 years and gus has won every time except for tonight, the night he bet jesse's contract. now jesse has to cook blue meth for lalo so he can figure out the meth secrete formula, but jesse's demands for cooking conditions drive lalo so insane that he voluntarily hands the contract back over to gus

[michaelwatt]

Love how after abt a year after getting into hot fuzz, the hyper fixation bug bit me again.

Like I'm in a cluster fuck of fandoms rn bc the desperate need for serotonin, but once again my brain going gaga over angelbutter

[goatsandgangsters]

straight up, people who can’t handle some lighthearted character ribbing on brackets should not make brackets 

[widowshill]

the patricide will never work because it must be fratricide or nothing.

[overelegantstranger]

dragons of autumn twilight would be a much different book if tracey and margaret weren't ABLEIST AS FUCK

[llycaons]

I'm not even particularly into Flint as a character, I just hate Stede so much

[hauntingblue]

Flint laughing saying they trust silver to not steal the cache akdhaksjakak

[myceyelium]

you must appreciate lifes simple pleasures. discreetly conduct a short bloodletting session on the train

[shotmrmiller]

single dad simon not knowing how to be a dad. not his thing. doesn't get it. hand him a gun and he can take it apart and put it back together in his sleep. but a diaper? formula? baby food??? knows next to nothing.

so you see him, miserable old man with sunken dark eyes, hunched shoulders and a screaming baby at his doorstep with groceries in his hand and decide to help. (besides, you're also suffering with a lack of proper sleep)

he's not a good dad but he's a protective one. he's at your throat in an instant, baby in arm almost behind his back, ready to sink his teeth into your jugular. you squeak out that you're a part time babysitter. you can help. you've got the most experience with babies her age.

you keep your eyes on him, tired eyes now sharp as flint. it's scary how quickly he'd moved. footsteps barely a whisper. his breath chills your skin.

threatens you with your life if so much as a hair on her head is hurt. he must be really tired if he's willing to accept help being this defensive.

you take the chunky babe and bounce her as he opens the door to his flat. you don't dislike kids but you're not their biggest fan either. babysitting is just a means to an end. easy money that goes toward your tuition.

simon, you come to learn, doesn't care. he thinks you're the missing parent. he doesn't ask you if you can help watch over the child. simply knocks on your door and hands her to you with the diaper bag. mutters that he'll be back and with food.

he helps himself to your couch when you tell him that the baby is asleep. takes off his shoes and is snoring in seconds. simon also doesn't help the rumors going around the building. "a terrible parent, you are. how could you abandon your baby and husband? he's been struggling for months!"

simon leaves you sputtering when he tells them to stop talking about his missus like that or he'll kill them in their sleep. burp the baby, pet, or she'll keep us up all night.

at least he pays well :/

(if you go out for a friends night, which he will drop you off so stop talking about uber, he's telling you to go say goodbye to our baby who happens to be asleep in her crib and if you're wearing a short little number he's gonna watch you bend over to kiss her fat little cheek before he takes you to the bathroom to eat it from the back and is sending you to his car with trembling legs and a slap to your arse. don't look so tasty next time idk)

[artcalledgames]

Have You! Have you ever had a Lemon Meringue Pie Drink on a long Summer day? Limited for a time Samual Adams’s Summer Ale Lemon Meringue in mouth Drink Responsibly for taste One bottle add bottle water per hour That taste will still be there Drink irresponsibly All taste goes to waste Now your just drinking The taste was the beginning Not to be drunk Have you Drank today Decipher this code before 2050

It will leave the fridge faster than food allowing the refillable refrigerator that extra space, I’m only speaking, for my six pack bought! This is not apart of code, sorry but you still have until 25.5 approximate years to solve! :( or :) you still have time.

“As I burp, it’s just like you’ve eaten lemon.”

Stated a drinker

[enbyable]

Funny comic idea where someone tells that one joke "Oh there was a kid napping at school!" But it transitions to a frame of a kid with an obsidian hand knife. Does this have any potential. *taps mic* Hello?

[baggitybean]

Whenever I enjoy my time scurrying at the local cemetery there's this guy who always tries to hunt me down with a flintlock pistol.

We have a date on Thursday.

[stephnie]