#skank pit

[newfeeling77]

I NEED TO LEAVE WORK

[dancehallcrasher]

I had a Good Night

[xx00kie-sp00kiexx]

Santos is by far the coolest venue aside from The Goat in Nola. I'm so glad my punk is bffs with Anthony from Noogy 😭😭❤️❤️❤️ Punks are so cool

[stargazedwinchester]

ִ ࣪𖤐◞ ꙳ ๋࣭ ⭑ `the other woman, dean winchester ༘♡

summary: you walk in on dean, your boyfriend, with another woman. word count: 699 pairing: dean winchester x reader now playing;｡･:*♫♪: you're losing me - taylor swift @wendichester ily this is for u <3

⛧°. ⋆༺☾𖤓༻⋆. °⛧

You weren’t supposed to be home yet.

The salt-and-burn in Illinois has wrapped a day early; the ghost was easier to handle than expected. You were supposed to be gone for the weekend. You haven’t told Dean, because a part of you wants to surprise him, to see that rare boyish smile light up his face when he sees you at the door.

As you step into the bunker, shutting the door carefully behind you. You lock it, shuffling your coat off of your shoulders and onto the floor. The anticipation of finally seeing Dean fills your heart with warmth. Butterflies float in the pit of your stomach. You tap down the stairs, turning right. “Dean!” You call. “I’m home!”

You arrive right at his bedroom door. You swing the door open, not thinking anything of it, until—

Oh, fuck.

The sight in front of you knocks wind from your lungs.

He’s there, tangled in your sheets. He never changed them because he couldn’t sleep well without the scent of you there. A blonde woman is under him, her nails gripping tight enough onto his back. Her legs are wrapped around him.

For a second, you just stand there. He doesn’t even notice you. He’s too busy to turn around and fucking look you in the eyes and admit to being a lying, cheating bastard.

He turns, and the look on his face isnt surprise. Or guilt. It’s fear.

“Oh, shit, Y/N—” He scrambles to get up and out of bed, pulling his underwear over his legs. “I thought you were in Illinois.”

“You thought I was in Illinois? Really?” You almost laugh. What a fucking joke this is. This situation. This relationship. Him.

You can feel something in your chest sink. And once you notice it, you can’t seem to stop it. Your breathing becomes ragged, less in line. Less controlled. “That’s your excuse?” You continue, pointing at him. Your eyes dart to the woman who’s looking right back at you. Her big, doe eyes watch in fright. She seems like she wants to say something, but keeps her mouth shut. This isn’t about her, anyway.

He pulls his jeans up, leaving the belt unbuckled. He doesn’t say a word.

“This isn’t what—”

“Don’t you fucking dare tell me this isnt what it looks like. This is exactly what it looks like! Like you’re fucking some random bitch whilst I was away! Are you fucking kidding me, Dean?!” You growl, stepping inside.

“I didn’t know you were coming back early!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I supposed to send a memo before I come home so you have enough time to tell your little skank she can leave before your loving girlfriend comes home?!”

You’re crying now, but the tears are hot and furious. You wipe them away instinctively. You stare at him. Hard. Breathing like you’ve just run ten miles with a broken rib.

“I fucked up, okay? But I love you, I need you. Please don’t walk away from me.”

“You should’ve thought about that before letting her in our goddamn bed!”

His eyes are pleading for you to stay. To hear him out. His bottom lip wobbles as he tries to find the right words to say. “Please, Y/N, you’re the only thing that’s keeping me going. I’ll do anything. I’ll cut her out of my life, I’ll sleep on the floor in the garage for a year. Just—please. Please don’t leave me.”

“You’ve already lost me, Dean.”

The colour drains from his face. He tries to reach out but you step backwards.

“Don’t follow me. Don’t call. Don’t show up acting sorry tomorrow like it erases this. I’m fucking done.”

His mouth opens like he wants to plead once more, but the look in your eyes silences him.

You turn and walk away, slamming the door behind you. You want him to understand how broken you feel, how he’s traumatised you in such a way that can’t ever be reversed.

He sits on the edge of the bed, head in hands. The woman decides to slowly get out of bed, get changed and leave the room.

He doesn’t even look at her.

Not this time.

[gaytoescvlt]

cw: mean boyfriend, degradation (not really sexual), smut, unprotected, p in v, might be ooc but I can see him being a dickhead tbh.

Authors note: I haven’t actually posted anything for jjk before (I was too scared lol), so if you all like this and want more, lmk. This may or may not be based off my boyfriend, cause I needed to vent a little lol, it’s fine chat. Enjoy <3

Mean bf Suguru, who’s always degrading you in front of his friends.

“Look at you! Put your tits away slut, want my friends to see how desperate you are?”

“You’re fucking stupid, skank.”

“Get a load of this dumb bitch-“

His words stung, but you do your best not to let him know he gets to you. You know he acts big and bad in front of his friends as to not seem weak.

Mean bf Suguru, who barely ever texts you back.

“Hey Suguru, what do you want for dinner tonight?”

Read at 4:47pm.

“Hey baby, I miss you! Can I drop by later?”

“Ew idgaf.”

Staring at his texts made you tremble softly, wondering why you even bothered with him.

Mean bf Suguru, who acts like he absolutely hates you, almost all the time.

“Hey, wanna watch a movie or something?”

“Sure, sounds nice.”

He scrolled through for a moment before he picked a movie that you had mentioned you liked months ago.

“This is one of my favorite movies-“

“Yea, you talk so fucking much so I’ve able to learn a thing or two.”

He grabs your shoulders with a feather light touch and lays you to rest against him. His firm grasp is warm, safe, secure. Everything you wish he was.

He lays there with you, occasionally adding in small comments about things happening on screen. He cracks a few jokes and makes you laugh more than anyone else could. It’s the moments like this that you stay with him for.

You almost miss the way he presses gentle kisses onto your shoulder and the back of your neck.

Mean bf Suguru, who shows that he loves you with the way he fucks you.

“Fuck baby, you look so pretty right now-“

You sat on his lap, bouncing on his cock at a near brutal pace. His hands firmly held your hips as he looked up at you in utter awe, like you were the most angelic thing he’d ever seen.

“Fuck your so tight, take me so well- fuck!”

Suddenly his hands move from your hips to grab at your back. He brings you down so that you’re flush against his chest.

“Kiss me, please, I need it-“

You oblige and meet his lips with a messy kiss.

Before you know it, he’s flipping you onto your side, and is pumping deep inside you in a cuddle position.

His grip on you is impossibly tight, like he’s scared that the second he lets go, you’ll disappear.

He thrusts into you like a mad man, but every stroke is filled with the upmost tenderness and raw intimacy.

“I’m close babe, can I cum inside? Please, fuck-“

You quickly nod your head, feeling your own high rapidly approaching. He reaches in between your connected bodies and begins to rub fast circles on your clit. You begin to feel the pit in your stomach get tighter as he twitches inside of you.

“Fuck I’m cumming, take it, take it all like a good girl.”

With that you release at the same time as him.

He collapses next to you, attempting to regain his composure.

“Y’need anything?”

“Water would be nice-“

“Of course, babe, don’t need you passing out on me.”

He comes back with ice water and a towel and begins to clean you up.

Once you’re taken care of, he wraps his arms around you, and you soak up the next few hours of intimacy. You know that when you wake up in the morning, your boyfriend is gonna go back to being an asshole.

[waitimcomingtoo]

SLUT!

chapter four: they took the crown but it’s all all right

series masterlist

In the morning, Peter was the first to wake up. He was wondering why he hadn’t heard the sound of Neds ten different alarms going off until he opened his eyes. He saw the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling and remembered he was in your dorm. He sat up and little and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes just as you were waking up. You sat up and scrunched your nose in disgust.

“We smell like the locker room at a public pool.” You said, making Peter laugh through his yawn.

“Yeah. We probably should’ve showered the chlorine off before going to bed.”

“Yes. We should have. But it was nice to wake up to some company nonetheless.” You smiled sleepily and leaned in to kiss him.

“Sorry. Morning breath.” He said once you pulled away.

“It’s okay. It was worth it.” You laughed before getting out of your bed. Peter watched you move around your room as you collected some things with a sleepy smile on his face. He could not believe he had just woken up in a girls bed after falling asleep beside her. He’d never been this close with a girl so to know you trusted him enough to be around him in your pajamas and messy hair meant a lot to him. He’d finally found someone he connected with and he was so glad it was you.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna shower really quick. You stay here.” You said and kissed him one last time before leaving. You came back shortly with wet hair hanging around your face.

“What time is your first class?” Peter asked as he stood up from the bed.

“10. You?”

“I don’t have anything until 1.” He replied.

“Do you want to meet up after class?” You asked and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Always.” Peter scoffed playfully. You grinned and pecked his lips one last time before leaving your dorm room together. You left the building and heading towards Peters dorm so that he could shower before class. As soon as you left your dorm lobby, you saw Brad Davis on his way to an early morning practice. He looked between you and Peter and faked a loud laugh.

“Oh, no way.” Brad laughed obnoxiously. “What do we have here?”

“God damn it.” You groaned. “Why are you everywhere? How small is this stupid campus?”

“Wow, Y/n. Can’t say I’m surprised to see you on a walk of shame.” Brad said and looked you up and down judgmentally.

“It’s not a walk of shame. I’m literally just walking out of my own dorm.” You pointed out.

“Yeah. With this guy. What happened? You ran through all the athletes so you had to start banging the nerds?” Brad asked and gestured to Peter.

“What did you just say to her?” Peter snapped as he stepped between you and Brad. You raised your eyebrows in surprise at the sight of your sweet, innocent Peter raising his voice at someone. Even Brad was intimidated by Peters tone and took a step back.

“What did she tell you? That she’ll sleep with you if you do her homework? That’s her move, you know. That’s what she does with every guy. So don’t go thinking you’re special.” Brad said with less confidence this time.

“Brad, you have no place calling me a slut. You have ten times the amount of bodies I do. And aren’t you the one responsible for giving half the rowing team the clap?” You asked him, making his eyes darken. He stepped up to you and you felt anxiety build up in the pit of your stomach.

“You better watch it, skank. At least I don’t whore myself out to any guy-“

“That’s enough.” Peter cut Brad off as he stepped between the two of you.

“Dude, who do you think you are? Don’t touch me.” Brad laughed in Peters face and tried to push past him to get to you.

“No, you’re not gonna get near her. I don’t like the way you talk to and about my girlfriend. So back up.” Peter said as he gently but firmly pushed Brad back a little. Brad looked furious at first until he processed what Peter had said. He looked at you and realized you and Peter were holding hands, making his face crumble.

“Girlfriend? Is this guy serious? You’re not actually dating, are you?” Brad asked you and sounded genuinely hurt.

“We are. We started off as friends and fell for each other. You’d know a little something about falling for a friend, wouldn’t you? Only in this case, I liked him back.” You replied. Brad narrowed his eyes at you and Peter could tell that really hurt him to hear. Instead of Brad retaliating with more insults, he just shrugged.

“Whatever.” He scoffed and bumped your shoulder as he walked away.

“And you wonder why I didn’t want you.” You called after him.

“SLUT!” Brad loudly shouted in response. People turned their heads to look not at the guy shouting in the morning, but at the girl he was shouting at. You felt hot tears of embarrassment well in your eyes and pulled Peter by the hand until you were in the boys dorm lobby. You sat down and put your face in your hands and rubbed them uo and down. Peter sat beside you and put his hand on your back to comfort you. You wiped your face off the stray tears that had fallen and laughed sadly.

“Do you know how many times I’ve been called that word? I don’t know why it still hurts me. I should be used to it by now.”

“Well, it’s like getting punched in the face. No matter how many times it happens, it’s always gonna hurt.” Peter replied, making you laugh more genuinely this time.

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience. Have you been punched in the face many times?” You asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Peter answered, making you laugh once again. Peter once again demonstrated his way of easing the pain of the words they threw at you.

“Why does Brad hate you so much?” Peter asked once you were calmed down. You sighed and looked at Peter, knowing it was time he heard the full story.

“Brad and I used to be friends. He was my first friend at college, actually. We had the same schedule freshman year so I saw him everyday. Then we started hanging out on weekends. That’s when you know you’ve crossed over from college friends to actual friends.“

“Really? I can’t imagine you being friends with a guy like that.”

“Believe it or not, he used to be a really good friend.”

“Seriously? Brad was?” Peter scoffed in disbelief.

“I know. I wouldn’t believe it either. But he wasn’t always like the way he is now.”

“Well what happened between you guys to make him act like that?”

“It happened over time. Brad had a huge crush on me freshman year. I didn’t know that until much later. He used to he really nice and funny but once he joined the basketball team, it was game over. He was still friendly to me over text but when his teammates were around, he was someone else.” You began but then stopped. You were picking at your nails again and Peter could tell you were remembering something you didn’t want to remember.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Peter said softly and put his hand over yours.

“I do, though.” You told him. “It’s my story. And if I don’t tell you, someone else will. And it will be all wrong. I need to tell you exactly what happened.”

“So tell me.” Peter said kindly, making you sigh again.

“I went to one of Brad’s games one night because he invited me. It was at some point in the middle of the basketball season and he hadn’t been playing very well lately. I knew it was really stressing him out so I went to cheer for him. I thought it would make him feel better, you know? Anyway, we were talking on a court after the game and his teammates came up to us. They asked if I was his girlfriend and started to tease us, which I pretty much expected. But then one of them asked me if I hadn’t “put out” in a while and that’s why Brad was so distracted during the games.”

“What? Who said that to you?” Peter asked as his nose scrunched in disdain.

“Some senior.” You shrugged. “He’s graduated now. I don’t even remember his name.”

“Yes you do.” Peter could tell.

“Jackson.” You admitted and gave Peter a sheepish smile.

“Always a J name.” Peter grumbled and slapped his hand on the table. You laughed softly but your smile slowly faded as you remembered that day.

“I was 17. That guy was like 22. Everyone laughed. I was mortified.” You said quietly.

“Of course you were. Who wouldn’t be? What kind of weirdo would say that to a 17 year old girl they had just met? And what did Brad say?”

“He said, “yeah, look what you’re doing to my game”, and smacked my ass.” You recalled. Peters eyebrows went up and he looked over his shoulder out the window to see Brad. He was laughing with some guys out in the middle of campus, putting a feeling of rage inside Peter. Brad got to walk around campus and laugh with his friends while you had to walk fast to avoid getting harassed. He felt angry that Brad had put his hands on you. He felt angry that no one stood up for you. He felt angry that you were innocent in the situation but you had been the one that became an outcast because of it.

“What happened after that?” Peter asked as he turned back to you. He could tell from the look in your eyes that you were still in that moment, still in the gym when it all went down.

“After that, he laughed. Then they all laughed. At me. Brad was looking at me and I knew he instantly regretted it, but he didn’t say anything so I didn’t say anything either. But I didn’t even know what to say. I was totally frozen. I wanted to stick up for myself but they were all older and I was alone in the gym with them. I was worried if I fired back, they’d make me pay for it.”

“I’m sorry you ever had to feel that way.” Peter frowned as he eyebrows knit together. He’d been bullied plenty of times himself, but he never had to worry about sexual violence in the way you did.

“Brad was different after that. I forgave him and we didn’t talk about it because I didn’t know any better at the time. But then he started to be like that all the time. He would make fun of me in front of them to get a laugh and then shoot me a text later saying he hoped I didn’t “take offense” to it. He wouldn’t defend me if his friends made a comment about my body or my appearance and eventually, he started doing the same.”

“That seems more like the Brad I know.” Peter mumbled and thought back to his high school days of watching Brad tease the girls on the cheerleading team with jokes that made them deeply uncomfortable.

“Trust me. He’s way worse than whatever you saw in high school. It’s like there’s no rules in college. There’s no principle to report to so people like Brad can get away with way more. He and his friends get to say whatever they want to me and nobody stops them.”

“I’ve seen it. It’s frustrating for me to watch so I can’t even imagine how it feels for you to be the one experiencing it.”

“It feels terrible. And hopeless. And overwhelming. All things he never has to feel.”

“What was he talking that day about when he called you a homie hopper?” Peter wondered.

“Ah, yes. He does love to throw that term around. He’s been throwing that at me for three years now. That’s where I get my reputation.” You smiled tightly. “Towards the end of freshman year, Brad asked me out. I said no, obviously, and he got mad when I rejected him. I guess he thought that despite the way he treated me and what he let our friendship become, I’d still be interested in him? I don’t know. But he got so mad at me because I guess he felt embarrassed. I wounded his manhood or whatever.”

“God forbid.” Peter rolled his eyes.

“I know, right? So to get back at me, he told his friends we hooked up but that I couldn’t get him off. Then his friends naturally started telling people I was bad in bed. And when people asked how they knew that, they’d say they had slept with me too and that it was a horrible experience. Gwen’s boyfriend, the one I told you about, is Harry. He told her that I slept with him, which never even happened, and now she hates me. She told my team and they spread it even more. So suddenly, I was 18 and my whole school thought I had slept my way through the basketball team and left them all dissatisfied. Meanwhile, I’d never even had my first kiss. But once a rumor like that gets around, no one cares about the truth. The truth wasn’t nearly as interesting. And it just gave way to all other kinds of rumors. People said I had all these diseases and stole all these boyfriends. They would whisper about me behind my back and eventually they started saying things to my face. Boys hated me. Girls hated me. No one wanted to be my friend. I couldn’t walk to class without someone yelling “slut” at me. It replaced my name my whole sophmore year. I’ve been a total pariah ever since. It’s not as bad now but my reputation stuck. I’ll always be the campus slut.”

Peter felt his heart sink when he heard the very words Ned had used to describe you the first time Peter talked about you. He knew it was bad, but he didn’t know it was that bad. He reached forward to wipe your tears and you smiled softly at him.

“Why didn’t you tell everyone that those boys were lying?” Peter wondered.

“You don’t think I tried? I tried to clear my name but women aren’t exactly known for being believed in situations like this. Or, any situation, actually. Me being a slut was the far more interesting story. So that’s what everyone chose to believe. I can’t shake this reputation until I graduate. They’ll always call me a slut.” You shrugged at your accepted fate.

“I’d never call you that.” Peter assured you as he put his hands on top of yours. You smiled and put your hand on top of Peters

“I know you wouldn’t.” You nodded. “Being with you makes me feel brand new. You’re the first guy who’s ever liked me for me, not because of what you think you can get from me. You make it all easier to bear. All the names they call me fade to nothing when I look at you.”

Peter put his hand on your cheek and brought your face closer to his so he could look into your eyes.

“None of them deserve you. They never did.” He said very seriously.

“They don’t.” You agreed. “But I think you do.”

Your conversation was interrupted by the laughter of some boys nearby. You looked over and saw a mixture of some of Brads friends and other boys who you had never actually spoken to but still liked to throw insults at you whenever they got the chance. They were looking at you and Peter and laughed amongst themselves. Instead of getting upset, you turned to Peter and leaned in to kiss him to show them that you didn’t care anymore. Peter pulled back slightly before your lips could touch and you felt your heart sink.

“You don’t want to be seen with me?” You asked quietly.

“It’s not that. It’s not that at all.” Peter quickly assured you. “I just don’t want to make things any worse for you by being seen with me. If those boys see us, won’t they call you a slut?”

Your eyes flicked back to the guys, who were all still staring with amused faces. Being seen with a boy would definitely fuel their war towards you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore.

“They might.” You agreed. “But you know what? It might be worth it for once.”

Tag list 💋

@breadglasses @hollandweather @cashtons-wife @scenesofobx

@trumanbluee @classygladiatortidalwave @miwagila @sarcasm-and-stiles

@hitoshislut @misspascalpunk @buckylovinglokivariant @betzabobababi

@eterjas @pleasingregulus @avatarjuno @dreamingofts18 @diorrgrl @anarchistsons

@crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @erule @justsomebodyweird @un06

@tom-hollands-wifey @alltoogay @bellajg21 @madlyinlovewmattmurd0ck

@secretly-a-cold-blooded-murderer @ferrjulie @kitykatnumber @angelayse

@cleosertoriooc @iamdedsthingz @girls-and-guts @tomshufflepuff

@lovely-blackinnon @matchafrappeidm @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kneelforloki

@xorderedkaosx @dory-98 @okayiamkassandra

[hellskitchenswhore]

Look I don’t believe in pitting women against women but someone get that SKANK away from my man

[toiletpudding]

HAZBIN HOTEL FANFIC

Adam x Lute ⚠️NSFW⚠️

I did it, I made a thing. 😀

Warnings: sex, a blow job, (light cock and ball torture here, Lute's a biter and Adam's into it,) swearing, Daddy kink, dirty talk, (it's Adam so, I mean, yeah) "What's a clitoris?" -The first man, small drug use mention, both of them are stoned, not much for plot, friends with benefits are what these guys are, Lute gets aroused at the idea of murdering things.

-She was bloodthirsty as fuck in that last episode you guys.

.

.

.

Nothing to do but Fuck, Perform, and Kill:

"-and then the bitch has the nerve to call me a sexist asshole, me! I fuckin' LOVE women, they've got like, a bunch of hot holes to stick your dick into whenever you're bored, and I told her that and she..."

Lute inhaled the smoke from the bong, letting her mind wander as Adam continued to ramble on about his most recent fling. It had hardly been a day on Earth since they had found the body of one of their Exorcists. The idea that a hell spawn could kill one of her kind made her heavenly blood boil. She wanted to find whoever did it and pull their tongue out of their ass. Alas, Adam ordered her to wait, he'd said that in six months they would make sure this kind of thing never happened again. She knew he was right, and that they needed to be careful so that nobody caught on.

But fuuuuuuck was waiting boring. Lute was ready now, she wanted to charge down there and send every demon scurrying like bugs, to feel the excitement that only extermination brought these days. The adrenaline coursing through her golden veins as she pierced her victims' weak little bodies with her spear and listened to their pathetic screams.  Just thinking about it made her-

"Hey, Danger Tits." Lute turned, meeting her boss's scrutinizing gaze.

She straightened, clearing her throat, and ignoring the sudden heat in the pit of her belly. "Yes, Sir?"

"Are you listening?"

Lute nodded, "uh- yes sir, she gave you the bill for dinner."

"Yeah! Like, who the fuck do you think you are bitch, I'm fucking Adam. I shouldn't have to pay the bill-"

The extermination was one of the few things they had left for fun. And now not only was somebody trying to fight back, but Lucifer's brat wanted to redeem demons as a form of population control? It was fucking bullshit. Demons only deserved ,eternal damnation and death, and she deserved to have some fucking fun. The only thing they had left to do after building heaven was fucking, performing, and killing, and nobody was going to take even one of those pleasures away from her.

"Well? Are you gonna or not?" Lute blinked, registering that Adam's face was directly in front of hers. Fuck, the weed was making it hard to focus.

"Uuh, er...Y-yes?" She said, uncertain to what she'd just agreed to.

"Sweet." The large cushy sofa they were both sitting on creaked in protest as the huge angel sank back into it. Leaning against the armrest. He propped one foot up onto the cushion, and let the other rest on Lute's knees. He watched her expectantly, a shit eating grin on his face.

Lute stared at him, "What're you doing?"

Adam's smile dropped, "Pfft, is the pot making you stupid or something? You said you'd help me out."

"Help you with...?"

"The blue balls that dumb skank left me with, c'mon! I'm harder than a rock here! Put that thing down and show me a good time, bitch."

Lute gave him an annoyed look.

"You wouldn't have blue balls if you didn't pick one of heaven's residents"

"Well I thought she looked pretty fuckin' chill, how was I supposed to know she'd have a stick up her cunt...You gonna get my dick wet already or what?"

Lute rolled her eyes, oh well, there were worse things Lute could have said yes to, and it's not like she had anything else to do other than wait for extermination day.

Setting the bong aside Lute turned to Adam, who was smiling again.

"That's the spirit babe, now come to Daddy." A shuddering jolt goes through her, and something clenches in her belly.

Wordlessly, Lute crawled on top of the larger angel, straddling him and looking down. He was gazing up at her with the usual cocky smirk on his face, prominent as ever, even without his mask, "Well? You just gonna stare at me all night? I know I'm good looking as fuck, but c'mooon."

She could feel the eagerness underneath his robes pressing up against her, and through the way he was gripping her hips tightly, fingers kneading into her flesh.

Lute leaned down and pressed her lips against his. Adam returned the kiss, already trying to push his tongue into her mouth, and pulling her tightly against him. Lute's breath stuttered as his hands wandered up to her chest, roughly groping her breasts through her clothes.

"Fuckin nice," he mumbled against her lips, fingers finding her nipples through the fabric and tugging on them. Lute let out a small moan, encouraging him to continue.

She reached up, running her hands through the mess of brown tangles he called hair, forcing her fingers through whenever she felt resistance, enjoying the small grunts of pain he let out and how his groping became a little more erratic. Both of them were breathing hard when they broke the kiss.

"Fuck," Adam panted, rolling his erection into her hard enough that he nearly bucked Lute off. She gripped his shoulders to steady herself, pushing back against his rutting hips, enjoying the sensation of his clothed cock pressing into the heat between her legs.

Lute dipped her head, pressing her lips to the indents of his throat, suckling and biting, she clenched down on a particularly sensitive spot and tugged until his breath was hitching and he was squirming underneath her.

She let go after the skin was red and painful looking, pressing sloppy kisses up his neck and jaw, pulling him in again for another heated make-out session when she reached his lips.

The kiss didn't last long this time, before Adam was pulling away and whispering in her ear where else he wanted her mouth to be.

Never one to disobey an order Lute slid downward, positioning herself between his crossed legs. His erection was straining against his clothes now, ready to pop out like a jack in the box.

After an awkward struggle of shifting his robes out of the way, and with only a little help from Adam, Lute was finally able to pull his dick out from its confines. Despite being the self proclaimed "Dick master," his was relatively average, and only a little on the longer side. Nothing for Lute to complain about though.

Her hand was already sticky with cum, as it dribbled out of the tip of his cock in a steady trickle. Geez, he really was pent up.

Adam nudged her closer with his legs, "Come on come on come on! What're you waiting for bitch? It's not like it's gonna suck itsel- oooh, fuuuck yeeeah."

Without warning Lute took him into her mouth down to the base and held it there. Adam gripped the back of her head, clutching handfuls of her hair tight enough to yank a sizable clump right off of her scalp if he wanted to. His legs trembled and his feet scrabbled for purchase, heels digging into Lute's calves. Lute didn't move for a moment longer, seeing the First Man grovel underneath her always turned her on more than it probably should.

When his hips started twitching forward Lute began to slide her tongue up and down his length smoothly, the acrid and salty flavor of him coating her taste buds overwhelmed her senses completely.

Adam spat out a series of curses when Lute began to bob her head quickly, going down as far as she could until his mushroom cap bumped the back of her throat, and sucking hard when she came up to the tip. The brutal pace she set for him doesn't give Adam a chance to steady himself or even to make a snarky comment, he was completely at her mercy.

The fact that the most powerful Exorcist in heaven, who could incinerate her with a single finger gun pointed in her general direction, could barely even form a coherent word had her rubbing her thighs together in an attempt to give just a little bit of the pooling heat between her legs some attention.

"Don't fuckin stop Lute, don't stop," judging by the way he was thrusting his hips against her face and that his voice was high with excitement, Adam was already on the verge of blowing his load. Lute only moved faster and dragged her tongue across him more.

"Fuck, holy shit," Adam gasped, Lute could feel his hands shaking, "I'm gonna-fuck-" she stopped moving her head, letting him take control, and immediately he was cramming his dick into her mouth as much as he could, chasing after his orgasm, moaning with each thrust and-

And right when he was at his peak Lute bit down. His startled, pained scream was probably loud enough to be heard outside of the room.

"Fuckin, aaah, you crazy bitch. I was about to nut-fuck!" He pulled his dick out of her mouth to inspect it. Beneath the glistening spit and pre-cum covering his shaft, bright red bite marks indented his pale skin. When he saw them he began to laugh.

"Not yet," Lute rasped, she cleared her throat, "You're not done yet."

"Fuuuck," he laughed, "I didn't think I could get any harder, ow by the way."

"Serves you right, sir." Adam grinned darkly and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Do it again." Lute leaned forward and took his dick into her mouth again. His breathy sigh turned into a pain choke when her teeth clenched down, body as tense as a harp string. His hand tightened around the back of her skull. All it would take is one hard squeeze and he could easily crush her head into a pulp. The thought has her biting down a little bit harder.

When she let go Adam deflated underneath her, "You wanna get a facial?" He panted, "'Cause this is a great way to get a shiiiiiit!"

Lute clamped down on his cock again, her eyes on his face the whole time. Watching the way it twisted in pain and pleasure. She couldn't decide which she liked seeing more. Adam's lips were kiss-red and his eyes were closed and he looked absolutely exquisite. Albeit, It wasn't enough for Lute to grant him an easy finish. Not by a long shot.

She let go of his dick, and the moan that came out of him was like rock music to her ears. She crawled up on top of Adam once again; giving him an open-mouthed kiss. He kissed her back with less focus than before, like he was halfway out of his body.

Denied-orgasm Adam didn't last long, soon he was kissing Lute viscously, nipping at her lips hard enough to make her grunt in pain. "You know, you're supposed to help me with my blue balls, not make it worse." He grumbled against her lips.

Lute pulled back and looked him in the eye, both of their gazes were alight with desire. Eyes like glowing torches. "I've got something else for that." She made a show of sliding her fingers underneath the hem of her dress and down the front of her skin tight pants, watching him the entire time.

Adam's grin split across his face and he sat up. "Aw, fuck yes!" Somehow Lute ended up underneath him, a difficult feat when even a couch this size could barely fit Adam.

He reached up, tugging the dress's neckline down to get easier access to her tits. He fondled one of them, his other hand diving between their bodies to drag her pants down far enough that she could wiggle her legs out of them before groping at her crotch.

Lute shoved that hand away immediately. Beside math, the next thing Adam knew absolutely nothing about was the anatomy of a woman, and what Lute didn't need was to feel the stretch and burn as he stuffed his fingers inside of her dry.

Lute shoved that hand away immediately. Beside math, the next thing Adam knew absolutely nothing about was the anatomy of a woman, and the last thing Lute needed was to feel the stretch and burn as he stuffed his fingers inside of her dry.

Lute sucked on her index and middle finger briefly, just enough to get them dripping before sliding them underneath her clothes, nudging her undergarments to the side. Her fingers just barely brushed against her folds and already her breath was hitching. She focused on her clit instead, and it didn't take long before she was able to slide her fingers in with no resistance.

Adam grabbed at her chest while she quickly prepped herself, switching between massaging her breasts to pulling her nipples and twisting them until she moaned.

"Fuck, I love your tits, they're so fuckin soft. You like it when Daddy plays with'em like this, huh bitch?" His dirty talk only served to excite her even more, Lute curled her fingers inside and her thighs tensed.

Her breasts didn't hold Adam's attention long before he was pressing his cock forward, the head grinding against the back of her hand. Lute didn't need to be told twice. She withdrew her fingers and wrapped her legs around the other angel's hips as best she could. Adam sank down onto his elbows, and she was enveloped completely in his robes, her vision nothing but white and gold.

Her back arched as his dick prodded against her hole, before sliding up and brushing her clit. He thrusted, but missed again. "Fuckin-" Adam muttered to himself, reaching down to guide himself inside.

Lute's folds parted for his pole. Even after prepping herself the stretch still made her clit beg for reprieve. Lute's head dropped onto the sofa cushion.

" Oh, shit, " she hissed, words barely audible, as he slipped into her depths.

A strangled noise came from Adam's throat when he bottomed out inside of her, shudders racking his body as the sensation enveloped him. "Fuck, you could keep me warm all night like this," Adam breathed, cock twitching deep inside of her.

Lute jerked and moaned as his dick brushed against a spongy euphoric. It didn't take long before he was thrusting his hips, dragging his shaft out until only the tip remained inside and slamming back in in routine fashion. The way his veins felt, bulging along her inner walls was phenomenal.

She rolled her hips into his impatiently, wanting more, harder, faster. It wasn't until his mushroom cap snagged something particularly good that Lute let out an audible yelp.

Oh yeah, babe?" Adam jeered, aiming for that same spot. "Gonna gush on my cock? Bet it feels fuckin' good. I keep telling you my dick's the best."

He grasped the back of the couch to steady himself and began thrusting into her hard enough to rock the furniture and jostle Lute upwards until the top of her skull bumped against the armrest. The hard juts to her cervix had her head spinning. She whined as she brought her digits down to her aching clit, she grasped at one of her breasts with the other, clumsily groping herself.

"Fuck- gonna fuckin cream you," Adam panted, Lute moaned her agreement.

"Yeah?" He breathed into her ear, "You wannna get stuffed with Daddy's cum?"

His words sent a buzz down to her precious bud and twin peaks. His cock was electric and each burst of energy sent pleasure sparking up her spine. She was going to burst.

Spreading over her form like early sunlight, the orgasm caused Lute's eyes to roll back and her entire torso to tingle. Heat raised to her ears like a bad sunburn. "Fuckfuckfuckfuck! I'm- I'm-" she bit her tongue to fight a louder response, gasping as the pleasure consumed her completely.

Adam didn't stop thrusting, cradling the back of her head in one hand, the other still gripping the couch like a lifeline. He was holding her tighter, moving quicker, breath rattling in his chest, he was getting close.

Lute wrapped her arms around him, groping at his shoulders, his back, his ass, anywhere she could get a decent grip. Fuck she was ready for him to, to-

Adam's voice suddenly grew louder and he moaned with each thrust. Lute gasped as his cum painted her walls, filling her up completely.

"Fuck! Takeittakeittakeit, you fucking slut... !"

His moans broke off into heavy sighs and he gradually took more time between each thrust, slowing and slowing until he stopped altogether and collapsed on top of Lute with a throaty groan.

The only sound in the room after that was their shared breaths, they stayed that way for a while, until Lute eventually began to stir from her prone position underneath Adam. She loosened her grip around him; fingers aching from clutching onto his robe so tightly.

Turning her head so she wouldn't be smothered she wriggled until Adam finally huffed and shifted enough so that he wasn't fully on top of her.

"Aaah, that was good," he sighed dreamily.

Lute couldn't disagree, but the fluids caking her inner thighs was beginning to feel uncomfortable. "Was it necessary to finish inside, sir?"

Adam smiled, spoiled and content. "What can I say, I like usin' that hole as a cum dump."

Lute stared at him flatly, but her boss didn't notice, he was already swinging his head around. "Where'd ya put that bong, I'm starting to even out." He shifted and Lute's entire body jolted.

"Sir."

"Aw c'mon, don't tell me you smoked it all,"

"Sir."

"Oh, wait, nah, we're good."

"Adam."

"What?"

"Your dick is still inside."

"...Oh."

[fxlling13]

I Do, Not!

Epilogue

Whittaker!Master x (fem)reader

Warnings:violence(ish), bad language, sexual topics

Synopsis: even though she promised you, The Master can’t help but give your cousin a little visit.

It was early. Four-thirty to be exact. The Master awoke naturally, the tv now on standby and blue of the screen making her squint. Her head tilted in your direction, a smile appearing on her face. You were still fast asleep, hair splayed over the plush pillow. Carefully, the blonde pulled your limp body into her hold. You naturally curled into her, tucking your face into the crook of her neck. She’d never felt so lucky, so fortunate. The feeling of your presence was far more precious, and worth more than any universe she’d ever overthrown. Keeping you close, she took the remote and scrolled through the channels. Settling on a true crime show, The Master stared at the screen and toyed with your hair absentmindedly. The events of the day before replayed in her mind, your scornful cousin and berating aunt. They didn’t deserve a single good thing to happen to them. Not in her opinion anyway. Every fibre of her being wanted to find the brunette and destroy her, make her scream in pain and beg for her life. Pressing her lips to the side of your head, The Master digressed with a sigh. She couldn’t break her promise to you. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t kill her. It suddenly hit her, eyes snapping open in realisation. It was so simple, so obvious. Whilst The Master couldn’t kill her, it didn’t mean she couldn’t torment her. With a million and one sadistic ideas, she very gently laid you down and pulled the covers up again. Slipping on her clothes, she grabbed the key and exited the room.

———

After a brief peek at the houses guest log, The Master located Beth’s room and used her TCE to break the lock silently. Upon entering the honeymoon suite, she came face to face with the groom and gasped in disgust. He lay passed out on the couch, stark naked and beer bottles scattered around him. Ignoring that vile image, she crept through to the bedroom and found the blushing bride in bed. Her make up was smudged and hair like a rats nest. However The Master could hardly tell the difference from the wedding. Waking her up would mean being seen and, although she loved a scandal, she didn’t want any unneeded hate sent your way. Though, the idea of seeing her scared did thrill the timelord. Looming over the unassuming woman, The Master cleared her throat loudly. When she didn’t wake up, she rolled her eyes and kneed her hard in the side. Beth woke up wincing, looking around in a daze, only to shriek upon seeing the intruder.

“Don’t scream Beth. You’ll only make this worse for yourself.” The Master drawled, making Beth sit up with wide eyes.

“What? What’s going on? Is (y/n) here?” She asked confused, pulling the duvet over herself.

“Trust me, she’s not going anywhere near you for as long as possible.” She replied harshly. “Not with the way you treat her.” At this, Beth just scoffed out a laugh.

“The way I treat her? I’m nice to her if anything.”

“You called her a bony skank?” The Master reminded her, walking around the bed and shutting the door. Seeing this, the human girl felt goosebumps on her skin, a pit forming in her gut.

“Not a lie…” She mumbled, eyes never leaving the woman. With the click of her tongue, The Master stopped at the foot of the bed and looked at Beth with pure hatred.

“I told you never to say that again. To even insinuate it. But there you go again. Your jealousy just can’t be tainted.” The Master cocked her head aside, reaching into her blazer and pulling out a thin needle.

“I’m not jealous!”

“Oh yes you are. She’s younger, prettier, more full of life than you’ll ever be.” She started, casually strolling round to her side once again. “And she is loved. But not by you. Or your mother. Or anyone in your god forsaken family.”

“So what?” Beth inquired, glaring up at the blonde with a hint of amusement. “She’s loved by you?” She laughed, folding her arms in defence. “Because that’s not real love.” She concluded matter of factly, talking as though what she said held any meaning. The Master grabbed Beth’s wrist tightly, nails digging into her flesh. Maintaining eye-contact, she took the needle and simply pricked the tip of the girls pointer finger. Beth yelped, trying to pull away but it was fruitless, her hand beginning to tingle in its capture.

“Why did you do that?”

“You need to learn to shut up, Beth.” The Master spoke through gritted teeth, leaning eerily close to her. “It’s no wonder your new husband drowned himself in liquor last night. The state of you.” Shoving the brunette back, she cracked her neck to ease her anger.

“Why did you prick me?” Beth asked again with more frustration, suckling on her bleeding finger. Chuckling lowly, The Master perched at the edge of the bed she’d turned towards her.

“Because you deserved it?” She stated, snapping the needle then tossing it aside.

“If that’s your way of trying to be scary, it’s not much is it?” At this, the elder laughed and tilted her head condescendingly.

“Oh Beth. You’re so naive.” She tut, whilst Beth just looked at her with a deep frown. “In about thirty minutes your whole body will be covered in burning, blistering hives and sores.” The Master explained with a bored voice.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” Beth tried to laugh, but seeing the others stone cold expression, her face dropped. “You’re lying. How is that even possible? Did you poison me?” Her voice got louder with every word she spoke.

“I suppose. It’s venom extracted from a mummy of an ancient, unknown civilisation. Nasty stuff.” The Master stood again, tucking her hands into her pockets. Meanwhile, Beth was putting as much distance between them as possible.

“Who are you?” She stuttered, making The Master cackle. “Because O isn’t even a name. So who are you?”

“I’m The Master and I’m not some pathetic human like you.” She sneered, heels clicking as she walked around the room at a leisurely pace.

“You expect me to believe that you’re an alien?”

“Yes. In fact, I do.” Gazing over at Beth, The Master sent her a look that made her shiver. Beth swallowed her nerves, moving around in discomfort as her skin began to itch.

“So, my cousin is fucking an alien?” She was scraping her nails up and down her arm furiously. Humming, The Master sauntered back over to the worsening girl.

“Well no, not yet. Give me an hour.” She winked, causing Beth to gag.

“I always knew she was a freak.”

“You’re going to continue to insult her, even now when your whole body is breaking out. You make me laugh.” The Master looked down at the trembling girl and pursed her lips. “You say we don’t have real love. Yet you didn’t even consummate your own marriage. I almost feel sorry for you.”

“We did!” Beth defended with a screech, the latter raising her brows.

“What? On the couch in less than five minutes? Just until he was one and done? How depressing.” The Master chortled, heading for the door. “If you tell even one single person, I will find you and destroy everything you have. Understood?” Her threat made Beth nod in fear, her breathing clearly becoming harder. Satisfied with her method, The Master grinned and unlocked the door. “Oh, and she doesn’t look, or feel, like a boy. Believe me.”

———

Back in your shared room, The Master got changed quickly, happy to find you still asleep. You had rolled onto your side, face pressed into the plush pillow. She couldn’t help but smile, slipping under the covers with you. Tentatively, she brushed your hair back, her fingers running over your cheek. You shifted slightly, shuffling closer to the new warmth. The tv was still playing at a low volume, but The Masters focus was fully on you. How your chest rose and fell in tandem, face twitching every so often Slowly, your eyes flickered open, blinking yourself awake.

“Good morning, pretty.” You blushed at her words, smiling a bit.

“Hi.” You mumbled, voice groggy with sleep. “What time is it?”

“Six am. You can go back to sleep if you like?” The Master prompted, having your best interest at heart. Simpering, you shook your head and moved forward, nuzzling into her neck. Grinning, she wrapped an arm around you, threading her fingers through your hair to detangle it. You had noticed how awake she seemed.

“Be honest with me.” You started, pushing yourself up and looking down at your new partner. The Master was already leering. “What did you do?”

“Why do you think I did something?”

“The last time you saw me cry, you blew up a building.” You stated bluntly, remembering that trip with a secret fondness. She chuckled, scratching at your nape subtly.

“Okay, okay. Maybe I did pay your cousin a visit.” You scoffed out a laugh, flopping onto your back once again. “But I didn’t kill her. She just looks…” The Master trailed off. Your shoulders shook in amusement.

“Looks what?” You asked. Smirking, The Master sat up, slowly moving until she was hovering herself over you.

“Looks like she’s turning into a warty toad.” Your jaw dropped, whilst she just chuckled. “Come now love, she has to suffer somehow.”

“What am I going to do with you?” You sighed, reaching up and stroking her cheek. The Master smiled, leaning down, her breath fanning your face. “Anything you want darling.” Her lips grazed yours as she spoke, your face heating up instantly. You pulled her down, pressing your lips to hers lovingly. The kiss was soft and brief, and she sighed against your lips as she relaxed.

“You’re going to have to make it up to me.” You said, playing with the strap of her borrowed vest. “For breaking your promise to me.” Feigning hurt in your voice, she chuckled deeply.

“I think I can do that.” The Master grinned, peppering kisses along your jaw tenderly. Rolling your head back, you hummed at the feeling. Dipping down to the crook of your neck, her canines caught your skin tantalisingly, eliciting a sharp gasp from yourself. As she bruised your skin, you could feel your body heat rising and heart racing. When she drew away from you, you couldn’t help but whine. The Master chuckled, booping your nose.

“Relax love. I’m not done with you yet.” You were certainly in for a long morning.

[v0id-pisser]

Moshpit Types and the etiquette of injuring yourself (and others!)

Do you ever feel like

Everything Is Fucked

and

Everybody Sucks?

Well come on down to punk & metal shows, where you can let out all those UnGood Feelings in aggressive ways!

Ok so what is it actually?

The Common Moshpit has various subspecies, grouped by some common factors:

Movement to energetic music, you move or you fall

Bumping is expected, you do not own any space

Falling is expected, people are looking out to pick you up when you do

They are however differentiated by:

Degree of aggressiveness, how much people try to bump into you

The types of actions its elements participate in

Odds of losing teeth

Sub Species One: The light cardio session

Source genres: Power Metal, Glam Metal, Folk Metal, Speed Metal, Pop(ular) Punk, Heavy Metal...

Commonly seen in more accessible forms of metal usually featuring clean vocals, this moshpit is quite large in both size and volume. Due to its association with very large crowds of mostly sane people, this species consists mostly of happiness and few injuries. If a metal band plays in your area's Very Very Big Arena, you will likely spot this entity.

Even if you are as frail as a Peaky Blinders extra, you are very unlikely to even feel lightly intimidated here. Speed is limited to light jogs and bumps are largely incidental.

Potential Actions:

Relatively slow Circle Pit (aka running in a circle)

light Push Pit (I push you, you push me)

Occasional Wall Of Death (Left side runs into Right Side)

Happy crowdsurfing

Sub Species Two: I expect bruising

Source genres: Trash Metal, Death Metal, Less Popular Punk, Groove Metal,...

The more traditional of the subspecies, this is what most pierced & tattooed headbangers consider a "mosh pit". If the vocals are no longer clean and drenched in dirt, you will find yourself a step below that mentioned above. You should not feel that intimidated but will feel its effects on your body the day after.

Potential Actions:

Fast Circle Pit with shoulder checks

I Am Pushing You With A Running Start, I Expect Knockback

Wall Of Death

Deep, Stationary, Headbangs below hip parallel

Some Ska-like skanking

Fast Crowdsurfing

Sub Species Three: PvP Enabled

Source genres: Occasionally Deathcore, mostly Hardcore/Hardcore Punk.

The other subspecies have a very clear rule: "No Karate in the moshpit". That is because of subspecies three. You can do anything, and those things frequently involve flailing limbs. You may aim for air but many hit faces. These can be in small or large venues, the key giveaway is that the empty space for the pit is seemingly much larger than needed at the start. If you decide to enter this pit you cannot complain about the consequences.

Potential Actions:

Beatdown: Flailing arms, spin kicks, if anyone enters your space they're catching strays

Crowdkilling: If you are on the edge of the pit you may catch half-hearted punches and kicks. You are free to retaliate, it's only fair.

Two-Step skanking: hey if the beat say so, bring out the trumpets

Very Fast Circle Pit

No Push Pit

Jumping onto the crowd way faster than they can catch you

Oh Boy Where Do I Start?

In the words of drama community r/Hardcore, "Go to a fucking show". For easier starts, check out the tours for (larger) bands in larger venues. Ask around for bands and their record labels.

For vibes, know that the first bands usually don't get much of the crowd going and the headliner gets the crowd going. You can always hang in the back safely. Any 200+ attendance show with a non-ass band will have activity.

Following labels & bands on IG & Facebook has proven a great method to find venues & bands. IG ads are surprisingly good. You will need to talk to strangers to find that Good Shit, good luck with that.

BuT i'M sCaReD

The first two subspecies are much more intimidating looking on the outside than they feel on the inside (pun intended). Generally, being bulkier helps, but I've found people act reasonable less forceful around thinner people. Kids have joined several times and everyone has sped down appropriately. Overall, I have not have had any experiences with fragile ego, very aggressive people.

It's gonna depend on your area but as the Scary People even in subspecies Three have been quite scarce. For the record, everyone in the pit is

a) willing to take hits for fun

b) wants to keep the vibe fun. Some guy spazzing out and picking fights is frequently outnumbered severely. Crews ganging up on people should be extinct nowadays. Again, depends on your area.

also if you're gonna carry crowdsurfers the upper back & shoulders are frequently under-supported, pay attention to those.

[legacyofmanwich]

Legacy of Manwich {3.4} The Forbidden Zone

It's getting weird. It's getting weird, stupid, and bad, and I don't know if I can be funny enough to compensate. Val really did a number on this Legacy, invoking Asmodeus like that. Worry not, the archdevil himself comes to collect what's his soon enough.

I've sent the girls and their cousins off to University, because Gen 3 was shockingly uneventful. Let's see their beautiful faces!

Ophelia: "Valeria and Portia are boring. My mom should've been heir."

At this point, I'm not sure I disagree.

Two of Cordelia's biological children made the cut by virtue of being absurdly good-looking and also kinda funny. Up top is Rosaline, a Knowledge/Romance sim, and below is her younger brother Julius, who is a Romance/Grilled Cheese sim, which is a wonderful combo.

And the final cousin who came to Uni is Yorick. I was sitting here watching him skill, when who should come up to the balcony but Portia. What could possibly be so interesting up here, I wonder!

LOOKS LIKE INCEST IS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS! I know they're not blood-related, but it SQUIGS ME OUT SO FUCKING BAD! I'd also like to note that Portia was probably going to be heir when I sent the girls to college. Yorick had other plans for her.

Valeria: "You better not be doing what I think you're doing."

Portia: "SHUT UP, SKANK, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS I GOT HIM FIRST!"

Valeria: "Hey, Mom? YOU'RE NOT GONNA FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!"

Valeria: "PORTIAAAA MOM SAYS YOU'RE DISINHERITED IF YOU DON'T STOP GETTING FUCKED BY FAMILY MEMBERS!"

Portia: "MOM CAN SUCK MY ENTIRE ASS!"

Welp, that settles it! Congratulations, Val, your demon pact's working as intended. Your patron came through.

Valeria: "COOL NOW I CAN CAST ELDRITCH BLAST!"

No you can go get a fucking boyfriend is what you can do

Valeria: "Please set me up with a man so I don't end up like my sister!"

PLEASE BE A GOOD ONE PLEASE BE A GOOD ONE

WELL THAT'S FIVE GRAND DOWN THE DRAIN

Huh? You just fucking got here?

Old Professor: "I know when I'm not wanted."

Matchmaker: "Another job well done!" *celebratory jerk-off dance*

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I USE THE CHEATY CRYSTAL BALL TO GET DATES FOR EVERYONE. Let's see who's in the stars for Val!

ABSOLUTELY NOT

Valeria: "Are you guys seeing this shit?"

GOD I WISH I WEREN'T

Matchmaker: "BY THE POWER OF SCOLIOSIS YOU WILL HAVE A MAN!"

Better than whatever Necronomicon sex magic bullshit she'd get up to otherwise.

Date Number Two: Human Centipede Edition

Fun fact while Val's getting her first kiss: this guy here, Jordan, is who she ended up marrying in a previous version of the neighborhood. Knowing what I know now, I had her keep looking after this. He was boring, his kids were boring, everything was boring. I CRAVE EXCITEMENT AT ALL MOMENTS OF THE DAY.

Yorick: "Ugh, I'm sick of their PDA. Can't they do that in private?"

Can't you shove your head in a garbage disposal?

Weeaboo Niles: "WOAH GROSS WHAT AN UGLY BITCH!"

Thank you for your opinion, Grown Adult Man In A Kimono, I'm sure these college girls really give a shit what you think.

It's the FIRST SEMESTER and you still couldn't keep yourself alive? God maybe you deserve to be dead.

Yorick: *squealing and crying*

Too bad she died on the hour, so all her actual mourners immediately went to class lol. She got the dregs of sympathy after that.

Valeria: "UM EW, HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF A SHOWER??"

She's dead, Val. Corpses stink.

Valeria: "I CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DECOMP PURGE AND PIT STANK AND THIS BITCH SMELLS LIKE A LOCKER ROOM!"

Why do you know what decomp smells like? You're an art major.

Valeria: "The scent of decay heralds the arrival of my beloved Asmodeus!"

Oh, good, as long as it wasn't murder-related.

Valeria: "We'll get to that."

This guy moved in and Portia really likes following him around and talking about sex and video games. He cannot stand either subject, so they hate each other as a result.

Portia: "I swear to God, it tastes like mint! The first time it happened I was like 'Oh my God, this is delicious!' and he was like 'Oh, for real?' and so I snowballed him, and-"

Guy: "Pause that excruciating story, would you? I need to talk to your sister."

Guy: "VALERIA MANWICH, THIS IS YOUR DEMONIC PATRON, THE PRINCE OF HELL, THE ARCHEDEVIL ASMODEUS. I WILL MAKE YOU ANOTHER DEAL: IF YOU SACRIFICE SIX DEPRAVED SOULS, I WILL BE ABLE TO ASSUME MATERIAL FORM AS A MORTAL MAN AND CLAIM YOU AS MY BRIDE!"

Valeria: "SAY NO MORE HOMEBOY I GOT YOU!"

Regan: "Oh, hey, Val! How's college?"

Valeria: "Not right now mom! Do you still have that cowplant? I really need to use it."

Regan: "SAY NO MORE HOMEGIRL I GOT YOU!"

Regan: "You sure showed up fast! Anyway, here it is! I hope it brings you as much joy as it did to me!"

Valeria: "Thanks Mom! You have no idea how much this means to me!"

Regan: "Promise me you'll kill Yorick first, I'm so tired of Portia calling and telling me about his penis and balls and butthole."

Valeria: "I know, Mom. We're all tired."

GET VORED, COUSIN FUCKER

Bye guys, see you next time when Valeria improves her K/D ratio.

[frost-mothit]

TWO TWO TWO TWO TWO TWO TWO

THE PEOPLE HAVE ASKED. I MUST ANSWER. I SUPPOSE. OH THE GREAT EFFORT THIS WILL BE ON ME. BUT I MUST DO IT. OH NO YOU DIDN't SPECIFY OH NO I'LL hAVE TO ANSwER FOR ALL OF THeM THE WORST OH WhaT A PITY tHIS I- Okay people did ask about specific characters I WILL BREAK THIS UP BY ASK.

2. Name five songs they would listen to/enjoy. Atropos [The Typical Composer]: Atropos definitely, truly, would listen to anything and everything. Music to them is lovable by virtue of existing and all forms of it are worthy of taking in. Beyond genre or popularity, they simple would love to hear anything. THAT BEING SAID, I think the more complex or deviant the song is, the more they would love it. Music being used in interesting ways, in complex ways that require the interest and cherishing of music to even create would be of great interest to them.

The Crucifixion by Phil Ochs: Some say that the musical decisions in this song took away from it's beautiful lyricism, but I think Atropos would see the bold instrumentals for what they're worth. The dissonant and almost maddening musical choices in this song would speak to them on a very personal level and the message wouldn't be lost on them. There's something very complex musically that they would consider inspiring, and a use of music in a truly fascinating way for them. This song also does very well at invoking emotion and meaning through pure instrumentals, which they would connect with their own musical works.

Attack the Moon by Fall of the Albatross: A mixture of prog metal and math rock, I think math rock in particular would appeal to Atropos. Something about very complex musical decisions and uncommon time signatures denotes a lot of skill and thought into the music in a way they would really appreciate. The lack of vocals also lends itself to being composition focused, which they would dig.

RVIVAL by Sad Snack: Atropos would skank. Atropos would skank hardcore. Find them in the pit moshing for their life. This is a relatively new ska song but ska has a lot of features that I think speak to them including 1) horn instruments, 2) a culture of dancing that surrounds it, 3) Unorthodox musical decisions. I could have chosen a third wave ska or something, but the lyrics in this one I think really speak to them and also I like this song so...

Jump With Me Baby by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy: Speaking of ska, Atropos would have been all over the swing revival. And swing in general. Social dancing for them is a huge love of theirs, it's the biggest joy in their life, catch them out here in 1899 kickin out a mazurka or polkaing like it's going out of style (which, historically, it is), but you present them with a lindy hop? They'd be all over that. And the swing revival kicking it up a notch would be something that got them very excited. Especially reinventing an already iconic genre.

Teardrops by Womack and Womack: And we can't talk about dancing and music without mentioning disco; catch Atropos at the discothèque. Easily, they would love it. Dancing for fun and socialization, with a distinct music style that uses innovative syncopation? All over it. Grooving it out. They would kill on the dance floor. Mortius [The Unassuming Actuary]: No you're right, Mort wouldn't listen to music. I think he's well versed in classical instrumentals, but in the sort of 'he was trained to play them for his schooling' way, not out of genuine interest. Mort would listen to podcasts, if anything more than pure silence, podcasts the likes of which even I wouldn't listen to. Cricket [The Awkward Sousaphonist]: You didn't ask but I could tell you wanted to, I mean who wouldn't want to know what Cricket listens to?

Here's the first one: Cricket is a man that transcends genre. the only thing he cares about is volume. If it's loud? That's for him. Also he's the reason kazoos are banned in London, don't tell anyone (he ate too many of them)

Another song: If you think Cricket isn't listening to ska you obviously haven't cause his vibe. I did go out of my way to find a ska band that has a sousaphonist in it.

Sorry just look at the picture for this song: Cricket is genuinely, canonically, good at the sousaphone (when he's not tripping over it) and does enjoy songs classically created for the sousaphone. You wouldn't expect him to be a conservatory man. You wouldn't.

It's his vibe: It shouldn't have taken me so long to decide he would listen to this band.

Oh and this one: Cricket Doesn't Have to Explain Himself To You

Matty [Matters of Ephemeral Beings]: Matty's favourite music is the music that Atropos makes, but as Atropos has yet to create a bandcamp with all their bloody correspondence symphonies on it, I'll have to show you something else. She, of course, has impeccable taste.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

[aria-bun]

I. Sirius

Read on ao3 In which Sarima comes in contact with some interstellar criminals

Sarima knew how to do a lot of things. Cheat a card game, talk her way past a bouncer, and, at times, pretend to be an exotic dancer long enough to take someone’s timeband, creds, and whatever other valuables they had on hand.

But, what she was best at— and what mattered the most in her line of work– was knowing how to play innocent enough to get away with it.

“And you’re sure she didn’t come past here?” The Terran security guard asked, looking her up and down, seemingly unconvinced.

She nodded, tossing her white hair over her shoulder. “I’m sure of it.”

The guard looked back at her ID. “And this is your ID?”

“Of course it is-” she paused. “Are you kidding me? You’re one of those?”

“One of-”

She cut him off. “I can’t believe you’re one of those guys who think all Betraskans look the same!” She threw her hands up, her gold rings catching the neon lights of the cheap dive bar. “You xenist asshole!”

“Ma’am, I don’t think that.” The tuard looked around, his face flushed.

Line.

“Right. So that’s why you think I look like that skank you’re after.” Sarima crossed her arms over her chest.

Hook.

“My mistake, ma’am,” he quickly gave her ID back. “Please enjoy the rest of your evening.”

Sinker.

She could tell he was just covering his ass now, as people around them in the bar had started to whisper.

“I better.” she muttered, tucking the ID back into her bag. It wasn’t real, of course, but he wouldn’t have noticed until it was scanned, which she didn’t give him the opportunity to do.

She made her way out of the establishment— the bar was stationed in one of the lower levels of the World Ship— and into the crowded plaza

She blended into the night crowd well, with her skinny black dress, cheap heels that looked good enough to be expensive, and the elaborate jewelry— all gold. Her rings, the elaborate chain that linked like a ribcage around her chest, and the matching gold chains, dotted with green crystals, that strung from her ear piercings to her septum ring.

Sarima eyes landed on the stairway, immediately making a beeline towards it before getting slammed into by a fierce redhead Terran. 

Looking her over, she was wearing a tight bodysuit that hugged her curves and dark red pumps that had no business being treated as running shoes.

And one of her swirled earrings was caught on her nose chain, nearly ripping it out of her head.

“Augh, sorry girl!” The redhead winced, quickly trying to untangle their jewelry. It quickly unhooked from the earring, leaving the small ghost of pain in her nose.

“Love the dress though~” The woman shouted as she continued running, disappearing back into the crowd.

Weird woman.

Sarima made it to the stairs, heading up a few flights before finding what she was looking for.

A circular air vent was built into the wall, around waist height, that had been put out of commission years ago and was very easy to wedge open and slip through.

The pipe was connected to the old system at the other end, which was covered in a thick layer of dust, and had a jagged hole cut into the metal that led to the cramped operation room.

She had found it a few months after she arrived at the World Ship, three years ago. It wasn’t big enough to live in, but it was a good pit stop that shook any guards off her trail and gave her a place to change.

Her duffel sat on the small alcove in the room, barely big enough to fit anything else. She pulled it out from the alcove and dug her busted uniglass out of her purse, turning the flashlight on an setting it on the alcove instead, illuminating the cheap mirror she had put in it.

Out of the duffel, she first pulled out her makeup remover and pads, scrubbing at the foundation on her neck that covered her tattoos. The ink was white, glowing faintly in the dark cubby in inky strands down her neck and shoulder.

Sarima removed the bejeweled chains and took off her shoes before detaching the skirt from the dress, leaving her in tight shorts and a tank top, which she covered with dark cargo pants, a jacket, and her cargo boots. Everything else went back into her duffel, her uniglass into the pocket of her coat, and she slipped out the door into a bustling hallway. It slid shut behind her, automatically locking behind her with a soft click.

Her entrance to the hallway went unnoticed, everyone else too preoccupied with their own shit to care. It was one of the many perks of operating on the middle to low floors of the World Ship.

Less security, too.

She had gotten evicted from her last place after pissing off the landlord, so she started the trek up to her friend’s “bachelor pad” she had been crashing at.

It wasn’t far, but after walking in heels for hours prior, her feet were not in the mood for more walking.

She blew a strand of hair out of her face as she got to the top of the last set of stairs, met with a hallway of doors.

End of the hall, left side.

She heard muffled talking as she reached the door, coming from the flat.

He’s probably watching one of his stupid soap operas again.

Sarima twisted the doorknob, but it didn’t open.

Weird. He never locked it when he was home.

Maybe he finally started listening to her (probably not).

She quickly rapped on the door with her knuckles. “Dariel!”

The muffled talking went silent before she heard him through the door.

“Not right now, Sari!”

“I can hear whatever ridiculous soap opera you’re watching, unlock the door.”

Or I’ll do it myself.

“Now isn’t a good time,” he responded.

“Please, it’s not like you have a girl over. Not with that janky-ass dye job.”

“Rude. Just- hold on.”

She heard his footsteps on the other side of the door before hearing the deadbolt and Dariel opening the door.

His eyes went to her duffel. “Big haul?”

She shrugged, moving past him into the flat. “Same as usual.” she dropped the duffel onto the couch before stepping into the kitchen, stopping in her tracks at the sight of the slightly-ajar box of luka cakes on the counter.

Her luka cakes. That her aunt sent her from Trask.

Sarima pinched the bridge of her nose. Don’t freak out, don’t freak out, don’t freak out.

It’s fine, it’s whatever.

She picked up the light green box, turning to Dariel. “I’m moving these. Do not eat them.”

He put his hands up in surrender. “Noted.”

There was a small thud from the spare room, and her head perked up. “What was that?”

He shrugged, looking in the opposite direction. “Probably nothing.”

“Lying is my strong suit, not yours.” Sarima put the box back on the counter before making a beeline for the spare room and pushing open the door, only to see seven faces staring back at her.

“Uh…” she looked back at Dariel. “I think you have some cosplayers in here.”

“Not cosplayers.” he corrected, shaking his head slightly before walking over. “That is my cousin,” He pointed to the Betraskan standing by the door, “And his friends.”

“Are they paying rent?” she raised an eyebrow.

“You’re not paying rent.”

“Yeah, but you owed me a Favor.”

“And now he owes me one.” Dariel grinned, crossing his arms.

Bad idea.

“Hey, you’re the girl I ran into.” Sarima looked back at the group, and her eyes landed on the redhead.

Of course.

Getting a better look at her now, she noticed that her hair wasn’t just red, but a bright punch-in-your-face crimson, contrasting her blue eyes.

“Right. Almost yanked my septum out.”

“I said sorry!” 

“Wait, you know her?” One of the guys looked at her. He was blonde, with the same blue eyes.

Siblings maybe?

“Yeah. Ran into her while running from the authorities. Her nose chain got caught on my earrings.”

“Maybe save the fashion for when you’re not running from them.” A smaller girls commented in a monotone voice from one of the bunks.

“But they’re beautiful aren’t they?” The redhead smirked.

Sarima looked back at Dariel. “You’re like a criminal magnet, man.”

“Not my fault the bad chicks think I’m hot.” He shrugged, and she rolled her eyes.

“Nobody’s thinking that. Especially with that patchy dye job.”

“Hey!”

[greenlikethesea]

I know you're an MCR person, so how about "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love" for that album game.

thanks! finally getting to this!

my favorite lyric

my favorite lyric from this album is actually from a more blah song on this album, which would be "cubicles" -- get out of my inbox, truthers, you know this is not one of the best (tho i do like it!). it's "pinpricks in the velvet catch your fall" which is just a gorgeous phrase. and then g goes right back to singing about a girl in his office who no longer works there and the momentum dies. honorable mention to "you're not in this alone" because man, what a way to start an absolute legacy. the first song you write, the first lyric you ever commit to paper for this project, and it's reaching out to those in need. i love mcr.

my favorite song

this is a tough one for me! i have a lot of squishy feelings about this album, and i also love different songs for different reasons. hearing demolition lovers live was a transcendent, religious experience, but i am gonna have to go with my gut and say "honey, this mirror..." if you've never driven on a winding county road at 1am with the opening guitar riff to that song playing (bonus points if you're actually in new jersey, like i often am), you haven't truly experienced it. the sheer desperation, the personification of addiction (a common lyrical theme) and the battle of wills within oneself, what an opening statement.

the song that makes me cry

if i'm in the right mood, the end of demolition lovers gets me. i think it's really telling in the making of bullets doc how there's literally six seconds of silence before alex saavedra is like "...that was an improvement!" like it's absolutely devastating and gut wrenching to witness someone rend their soul in front of you for their art. and none of them know what to say at first. like i wouldn't either!

the song that’s a fucking bop

oh bitch, you already know it's headfirst for halos. that song was made to bop and skank and tussle to. that's a pit banger. the hair metal moment at the beginning dissolving into a classic punk bop! trigger happy making the best of wanting to kill yourself music! macabre words with a chipper attitude! it's music that's Made For Me and i want to hear this live so bad.

the song i most dislike/least love

one thing you need to know about me is that i'm a fucking hater, and i'm also a believer in "generally speaking, three minutes is the perfect length for a song". early mcr is in desperate need of an edit, which is something they cleaned up one album cycle later, thankfully. vampires suffers from this, but it has movement and momentum, whereas "early sunsets over monroeville" is interminable and a slog to the finish. it's a skip for me, almost every single time.

[tincansamurai]

philly pits suuuuuuck man

there are never many other middle ground guys like me, you either get motherfuckers standing stock still without even a fucking head nod or the guys who are out to fucking kill. i live to jump around at the edge of the pit and push ppl back in and get just a little beat up and maybe skank a bit - but the ecosystem is so starved i'm by myself in the giant gulf created by all the ppl too scared to come up. to the vocalist who was like "are you guys all on tranq" - valid question what the fuck lmao

[twosidesofkeithmoon]

The Great Concert Masterlist

AKA - all the shows I've been to! Under a cut because it's LONG

Roger Waters - Us + Them Tour, 2017

[Setlist] This was my first real concert; I was 16, and my only prior experience was a Beatles tribute band when I was maybe 9 or 10. As a promotion for the album Is This The Life We Really Want? it included several tracks I hadn't heard before and many I had. All in all, it was an amazing concert, and I definitely cried.

Roger Daltrey - Tommy Tour, 2018

[Setlist] Oh boy, I was DEEP into my (first) Who phase when I went to this one. He played the entirety of Tommy (one of my favorite albums, of course) and he was absolutely excellent. Super high energy, I had a great time. There was a raffle to benefit the Teen Cancer Trust which I entered - my raffle ticket was just 4 off! If you won, you got a signed poster :) I also bought his most recent solo album on CD.

Arcade Fire - Everything Now Continued, 2018

[Setlist] Gonna be real with you - I had never heard of Arcade Fire before I saw them. It was a very spur of the moment "hey, we have an extra ticket, wanna come see a concert tonight" sort of thing, and I don't regret it in the slightest. We had really good seats, and I got to fistbump the bassist and one of the lead vocalists as the band walked down to the stage.

Nick Mason's Saucerful of Secrets - North American Tour, 2019

[Setlist] This was an early birthday/graduation gift to myself - I can remember buying the floor seat tickets as soon as they went on sale... While I was in class. I absolutely cried during the show; not only was it my favorite member of the band, but he played music from my favorite era of the band. Some guy who sat behind me tried to buy me booze, but when I told him I was 17 he kind of died lol

The Who - Moving On! Tour, 2019

[Setlist] So if I cried during Nick Mason, I sobbed during this one. This show acted as a graduation gift from my mom and we had fantastic seats (not floor seats, but definitely still very good). Naturally, Tommy and Quadrophenia were the main bookends of the show but I was pleasantly delighted to hear Tea and Theatre from Endless Wire. I also got to watch a very drunk man get hauled off during Who Are You and broke down when they showed Keith on screen </3

Toto - 40 Trips Around The Sun Tour, 2019

[Setlist] Another spur of the moment show, it was a nice time to see my family right after I had moved up to college. This show marked my first time gambling at a casino, getting sexually harassed at a show, and my last show before Covid-19. Regardless, I had a great time!

Roger Waters - This Is Not a Drill Tour, 2022

[Setlist] Man, going almost three years between shows sucks balls. This was SUPER last minute - I think I bought my tickets two hours before the show. I knew he was going to tour again, but Covid pushed things back; I knew I needed to see him again. I was FLOORED that he played ANYTHING from Radio KAOS and Amused to Death, I kind of lost my shit there for a minute. The in-the-round stage design was super cool. I would absolutely see him a third time.

Streetlight Manifesto - The Calm Before The Chaos Tour, 2022

[Setlist] Ah, baby's first ska show. Had to brave some of the worst driving to make it down (thankfully the roads cleared up by the time we drove home) and got to hear one of my now-favorite bands as the opener (Catbite). I did not enter the pit as I am very much not built for any sort of pit, but I did my best to skank (a very poor attempt).

Less Than Jake - Return to Rockview Tour, 2024

[No Setlist] So this show. Wow. Okay. Awesome venue, playing through the entirety of my favorite album from them. I met up with someone who would become one of my very good friends, and we had a great time talking music! The two openers - Strung Out and The Raging Nathans - aren't really my speed, but it was great to support some smaller acts. The show itself was cut short during one of the final choruses of the final song as someone in the audience had a medical emergency and unfortunately passed. It was heartbreaking, but the band dedicated the remaining shows on the tour to him.