#sk bday wishes

[solarwynd]

https://www.tumblr.com/solarwynd/747649625022955520/kinda-unpopular-opinion-but-many-pjms-care-too?source=share

Anon don't project what you think of the members as how jm must be feeling, you think they're just co-worker and he's got "real" frnds outside when you don't know that. he's spent 11+ yrs around them, the first ones he made after coming here and still together. They're more than just co-workers for him. I don't like any of them apart from jin,hobi and RM occasionally doens't mean I'm gonna think that's how jm feel towards them.

People just want them to return the same energy as jm gives them, pjms would have acted same way if it were frnds outside the group. Beacuse we want him to get love the way he deserves and gives others cause we're not around him but these people are and we want him to have all the support and love from people around him in person. Pjms thanked V when he asked jm to come to his fanmeet cause intentions be damned but pjms were happy that the crowd sang happy birthday for jimin, they were happy cause he got to be near fans which jm loves the most also because jm was the only one who didn't get to have a fanmeet like that before it. Despite many of them not liking tae they made thanked him in their posts. It's all about giving and taking. You give respect to someone you expect same in return. It's also all about his happiness. Jimin's birthday is the biggest bday celebrated by fans out of any other idols/celebraties in sk including all the members all beacuse pjms wants him to feel loved.

Also another reason pjms talk about it sometimes is because other solos use jimin's kindness and his support to drag him. Even that day they were making tweets like "jm is so pathetic no one wants him" which pjms hate that others use his kindness against him. Like look at jjks they have been using jm's kindness towards jk as a hyung against jm for a decade saying jm is always after jk and what not.

“I kinda understand that anon we have 10 yrs of consistent one sidedness from the members esp tgk so at some point pjms need to stop wishing and let go, they simply don’t value jm as a friend and take him for granted and that’s never gonna change”

Both of these sentiments have truth. When I refer to members that are lacking I’m almost always specifically referring to TGK. And I’ve said before that I don’t expect much from those 3, but that’s still not gonna stop me from wanting them to be better towards Jimin considering how much he seems to still value their friendship. How ever “wishing for rain in a desert” that is. That’s really the only reason I care about it cause Jimin’s too good to/for them anyway. I also believe that BTS have never been just “coworkers”. There are groups where you can tell that they’re not close and are just together because they have to be, but BTS never gave that. Dynamics have definitely shifted in the group, but I still do genuinely believe they’re all friends.

I don’t care what other solos have to say in regards to jimin’s unconditional kindness. They relish in the idea of the member they stan being self centered assholes while at the same time still expecting jimin to kiss their ass. Especially jjks. Jimin being a good person is not a weakness and I’m certainly not trying to get TGK to properly reciprocate it so they don’t have anything to drag Jimin for on that front.

[dalkyeom]

— on the 11th of august, in the year 1999.

[kaliyug]

man

[godtier-fics]

Birthday Gift Ideas for Sammya Kei

heyo, so my birthday is this thursday! normally i’d have written posts way earlier than a few days before, but let’s get to this now! 

so here are some cool things you can do for my birthday! 

ranked in no particular order btw 

create fanworks featuring aph india aka my fave character 

create fanworks featuring aqua from kingdom hearts aka love of my life

subscribe to my patreon and support my original works 

buy me a coffee

simply sending me jokes/nice messages via my askbox 

okay! that’s all the ways you can help make my 24th birthday pleasant. 

btw if you create anything please tag me #sammyakei @ me (@sammyakei) and tag the post #sk bday wishes! 

see ya,

sk

[cheetomin]

Happy birthday binnie💕

[jinnielovebot]

happy birthday!!!! i hope you have a great one 💕💗💕✨💖 - jisngs

AHH THANK YOU SARAH ;; ilysm!! 💗💕💞💘💓💞

[thesleepingb0dyb4g]

I feel so ungrateful. my friends tried so hard to make my bday good and they did they were the best part, i just wish things went how I planned, :( and I didn't party like I really wanted to on my bday. like I wanted to celebrate and go crazy,, but everyone played uno, and just sat there, and g was reminding me of ,,, someone from last summer with her behavior which was triggering ,,, like,, her falling asleep at my party,, and other things,, like,, it's not her fault it's litteraly me. I'm the problem. I just get triggered over dumb things and I'm still not over that summer at all,, but the good parts where my bestie gerard way singing w me when everyone else wasn't and driving me around all day and litteralt went to the mall with me and like,,, I'm so thankful. litteraly cries. made my bday 10x better. overall my bday was okay, I wish it had gone better tho :0 I hope that doesn't sound ungrateful I promise I am sk g skfhakfhsjdhdhdj

[kanmom51]

Hello!

First of all thank you for a wonderful jikook space. You are doing great!

Second of all, am I being too desperate if I say I am waiting for JM to wish JK on his bday? My jikook heart is boom booming 🙈

Now my thoughts...

I always have this one thought playing ping pong every now and then. The Rose bowl moment! I wonder why wasn't it talked about? Is it because jikook is real and that's why "no jokes" on that moment were made (specifically from BTS themselves, I mean they have made fun of awkward stuff in the past)? Or is it because of some stigmatised homophobia that media also chooses to ignore it?

My concern is, media houses would have burned down everything if rosebowl would have happened between male and female artist, or has it happened at some point and ignored? (Correct me if I'm wrong)

Is everybody scared that two of the members from biggest "boy" band could possibly be in a relationship?

Or who knows, maybe people are paid to keep their mouth shut? I really don't think media industry is the "saint" types to just not meddle with these kind of stuffs. So yeah maybe hefty amount is credited to the bank accounts of the so called detectives of media channels?

Anyway I appreciate the media not shoving their theories up on to the boy's face. Sometimes, I do feel it's better to sweep it under the carpet rather than creating a scandal. Maybe the world is indeed changing 😂

Shippers/army though can't keep their calm. I heard Twitter blasted at that time ? I'm fairly new to the fandom but I think it trended because of both supporters and antis? I don't know I'm scared to talk about BTS army, they bring out unknown "bullying" fear inside of me. So I am just focusing on the artists and the media industry.

If above thoughts sounds offensive please don't post it but then how will I know you are answering my ask? 😅

This is my ask - if rosebowl would have happened between a male and female, would that be just ignored as "skinship"? What's your opinion?

Also, I apologise beforehand if this ask makes you uncomfortable. Please delete it, if it made you uncomfortable.

Have a nice day!

Hey anon, thank you for your compliments and support.💜

I know your ask is about RB, but I do want to address one more thing before I move on to RB, something that came up in your ask and truly bothered me.

You have no idea how it saddened me when I read what you wrote:

"I don't know I'm scared to talk about BTS army, they bring out unknown "bullying" fear inside of me."

It saddened me because it is true.

It saddened me because this is how many within the fandom work.

It saddened me because this goes against everything BTS stand for, and yet there are those within the fandom that act this way. They bully others outside and within the fandom.

And it saddened me most that their tactics are working, and people within the fandom are scared to open their mouths because of it.

I had to address this anon, before moving on to your actual ask.

Now to RB. Would the reaction be different all round if this happened on stage between a male and female?

Heck yeah!!

"is it because of some stigmatised homophobia that media also chooses to ignore it?"

I think the answer to that anon is yes too.

I think the media dropped it like a very very hot potato.

The sound track in their heads would be :

This was too hot to touch. Too many landmines to deal with. Too volatile. Not worth the trouble, in a way. Talking about this, 'outing' them could potentially end their careers.

The SK media is a different story than Western media. There are privacy laws and I think that either way they would rather not touch on it. As for Dispatch, if it was f/m I think they would run with it, unless, as you mentioned, they would get payed off not to.

Thing is that RB was public knowledge. It was filmed and shared online and spread like a wild fire. That is the reason I think BH had to, in a way, include it in 2019 memories, to normalize it, like it's not the big bloody deal it really is.

And because it wasn't picked up by the media on the one hand and added by BH to memories on the second hand , that's how it kind of sizzled down in the fandom.- "Nothing big happened"; "JK's chin only touched JM's ear"; "If it was something unusual BH wouldn't have added it to memories", etc.

Mission accomplished.

[ex-punch22s]

crying on my ds 😢

MUN INFO

name/alias: peyton age: 20 pronouns: she/they timezone: cst / gmt-5 discord: peyton#2067 but i don’t rly like using it </3 little trivia fact: i really like snoopy and woodstock

CHARACTER INFO

character name: ma ilseong alias: primarily MOUSE, also known as ‘il’ or ‘miles’. will not tell anybody his name is ilseong, will also never be caught using his actual english name (isaiah). bday/age: october 4, 1998 / 23 zodiac sign: libra sun, pisces rising, aries moon so you know he’s Unwell position: promoter 2 info links: file / bio / pinterest

QUICK INFO

korean-american military brat, born in some little ass cornfield town in indiana but started moving around when he was what? seven?

kind of a shy kid which mostly stemmed from (a) being treated weird for being the only asian kid in his otherwise all white first grade glass and (b) the overwhelming experience of moving from indiana to south korea, apparently the motherland but uhhh he couldn’t speak a word of korean ‘cause mom and dad didn’t think it was important to teach him.

so his first experience with korea Fucking Sucked! and then he moved away without any good memories, kept moving every two years ‘cause of dad’s job and i’d love to say that it got easier but it never really did? he started dating when he was real young ‘cause he thought if he could become a popular girl’s boo thing, maybe the rest of the class would like him too idk he was really fucking lame back then (still is) / spent more time gaming than anything else, didn’t really hang out with anyone outside of school (not even his damn girlfriends) so his social skills were underdeveloped / eventually learned how to be funny tho!

ummm an important thing to note i guess is that he’s the typical only-child-used-as-the-therapist trope in which his parents acted like they were happy most of the time (when dad wasn’t screaming his head off over minor inconveniences and mom wasn’t crying in the bathroom but you knowww!) but then every now and then they’d say some really dark shit to him so he had this very hesitant view of life from early on? more observant than he seems, very “well this ain’t gonna be good but as long as i come out alive i guess it’s fine!” type mentality but also he walks on eggshells and can’t admit when he’s wrong which ties back in with his crazy ass parents.

also more intelligent than he seems. was a promising student in elementary & middle school (which is even crazier when you take into consideration that he was being dragged across the globe & feeling like a damn tourist everywhere he went) but then he moved back to sk his freshman year of high school and i meannn... his grades were alright that first year, but they plummeted sophomore year and stayed at the ground through graduation. unfortunately no one seemed to really give enough of a fuck to realize how bad his grades were (’cause at this point mom & dad were too busy fighting over whether or not they were gonna get divorced to look at mouse, the product of #lostlove for more than 30secs) & his teachers had actual KOREAN korean students to worry about helping get into sky schools so mouse was left in the dust.

whatever though! he was having a good time hanging out at shows, scrubbing x’s off his hands in the bathroom, chatting with bands and pretty people who would hardly give him the time of the day! started making himself known in the scene in late 2015/early 2016 even tho he could still barely speak korean and he had a damn curfew and he’s stuck around ever since.

parents moved back to indiana in 2017 but mouse stayed and they didn’t fight to change his mind ‘cause at that point they were all kind of sick of each other anyway idk it’s sad and sometimes mouse wishes things had turned out different or that HE’D been different so maybe they woulda loved him more (obviously he isn’t this much of a victim, it’s just his insecure mentality) but what can you do! he was 18 fighting to find a job that would take him with like... no experience, not fluently speaking korean, still young as hell and he kept bitching about it every chance he got so idk eventually (in 2020) someone finally offered him a job in the scene? fitting because he talks up the bands like crazy, without a doubt you’ll find 15-20 people at any show who say some shit like “i’m here ‘cause of mouse! i thought he was working for the band omg is he not? he’s really just some guy?”

and like he’s happy with his job... he really is... but i’m not gonna lie: he sucks at it. he doesn’t pay performers on time, sometimes he gets the lineup all fucked up and he’ll accidentally have ctrl opening for the here and now, he owes pretty much everyone in the scene money (non-musicians included!), he never gets everything that’s asked for on a band’s rider, sometimes he books decent shows in really shitty venues, ummm one time he booked one hell of a show but then completely forgot to... promote it...

nonetheless, he still has a job? i think it’s because he can be a lot, but he’s the kind of guy who grows on people. even if he pisses everyone off, there’s still an understanding that he IS trying his best to do well & he’s got heart, you know... very passionate, very forward, very determined and he’s still gonna be having a good time through it all! besides, even if he’s not much else, at least he’s consistent <333

as for his personality, he’s the most insufferable punk you’ll ever meet, probably. the type to craft intricate lies for pocket money, the type to put his foot down and say “you know you love me” while never ever saying it back, the type to agree to be the designated sober friend and then get drunker than anybody else, the type to flirt endlessly while not even being smooth (“are we about to kiss right now?” / “god, you want me soooo bad”) and immediately ditch if his flirting ever actually works, simultaneously the type to hook up once and then call confessing his love the next day just to swear he never said SHIT the day after that, the type to prioritize money over (most) friendships, the type to steal your drinks at the bar and promise to buy you another one (he never will), the type to not take anything seriously ‘cause life’s just one big joke anyway. as for the rest... idk, we’ll figure it out together!

CONNECTIONS

001 — a dwindling friendship in which your character is too damn nice for their own good and mouse is never fully appeased. they’ve got to love him with all the shit they’ve tolerated over the months (years, even), but there’s sure to come a time when ‘you know you love me’ / ‘why else would i be doing this?’ will grow old. * maybe he owes them tons of money too idk

002 — the perpetual victim. even when mouse gets back into the swing of things and manages to get everybody paid on time, somehow, your character’s always the one left empty-handed. they’re currently on some kind of point-making ‘strike’ in which they refuse to play a show organized by him until he not only pays them what he owes, but also comes through with all of the rider items he’s shorted them on. fair enough.

003 — your character actually fell for all of mouse’s recycled smooth-talking and almost hooked up with him, but the second they stepped into his apartment, his crazy ass dog bit their calf. the bite “barely scratched the surface!” (as mouse puts it, not wanting this to be made into a big issue) but uhhh now your character wants him to pay their medical bills? AND they’re not interested anymore? man, this is so fucked up!

004 — best friends, but only as long as the gig lasts. maybe they lack chemistry outside of clubs, maybe they’re just too damn different to care to find the time, but as long as they’ve got a live backtrack, no one else could compare. (in other words: bumming drinks and cigarettes off each other, dancing at the back of the crowd, walking each other home. knowing everything and nothing about each other at the same time.)

005 — damn this is kind of a reach but maybe a (slightly) older woman whom he runs crying to every time a minor inconvenience surfaces: a bug in his apartment (“how do i kill it? should i kill it, or is that wrong? god, i don’t want to touch it!”), a pack of instant noodles (“can’t you cook them for me?”), pocket money shortages (“c’mon, i’ll pay you back, you know i will!”). think it’d be fun if your character’s tired of him but tolerates him all the same, maternal instincts and all.

006 — tough love distant friend type? your character was one of the first people that mouse introduced himself to way back when & considering how they’ve watched him grow from an awkward, aggressively-people-pleasing sixteen year old to this insufferable punk who can’t help but push his luck, they feel somewhat responsible for him. they have good advice to offer, but too bad mouse always lets their words go in one ear and out the other.

007 — friends with potential to be more if mouse would stop fucking around on dating apps and indulging in hookup culture? aka he’s into your character but he’d rather sit just a little too close to them at the bar and make sardonic jokes all night than ever address the elephant in the room ‘cause god forbid (a) they don’t like him back and his ego has to take a hit or (b) he has to 🤢  actually work on self-improvement??? 🤢  the vibes: windbreaker & baby boy by choker, blood bank by bon iver, 911 / mr lonely by tyler the creator depending on the direction it’s taken in 

other — random people he owes money to / the one person who wants to kick his ass on everybody else’s behalf so yk at this point it’s just a matter of time / a couple people he talks big to on social media and/or dating apps but ignores irl / the one musician bestie he’s always side-stage for and especially always helping pack up at the end of the gig / someone somewhat new to the scene who’s already been screwed over by him and doesn’t understand why people like him or why he has a job LMAOOO maybe they can scrap it out by the merch table???

[jikookuntold]

Hello so I was not it Fandom in 2019 , so I've some doubt

Did jimin returned from Paris due to his pub thing. Coz from the chats I saw from that time , JM was upset that they took video , he was even cold with them when they met next day. So is the the reason of his early departure? Maybe he lost his mood for being in Paris , returned from them coincidentally it was JKs bday so he went there to wish him.

Do you have any timeline for events happend at that time. When was his video leaked. By September 1 night he was in SK , was this before leak of video or after , was his return immediately after that club event ?

Hi Anon. First, I have to say the info you have is inaccurate and defective. The timeline of that incident is a bit complicated and compact, but I try to explain everything. I checked my GC and PM history and old tweets to be as accurate as possible, but I can't claim to be 100% right. If I have any mistakes, I would be glad to be corrected by the readers:

On August 28th, we heard the rumors of JM being in Paris, and there were some photos of him touring the city with his friends. On August 30th or 31st, JM's pose in front of a mural in Paris made chaos on social media, and even there were speaking of dts against him. I remember we trended JM as prince Eric only to clear his searches because it was a mess. He literally had done nothing wrong, but you know he gets hate for anything he does or doesn't, and this one wasn't an exception.

The next day (JK's birthday), he tweeted a greeting video for him at 4 am kst, and a few hours later, the video of the pub started to spread. In that video, we see him laughing, and someone (a girl) is flickering JM's finger on his forehead as a penalty. (I don't know that game or the penalty because it doesn't exist in my culture). Sources said when JM was in the pub, those girls had recognized and approached him, and since they were fluent in Korean (which is sus) JM spoke to them and played with them for a few minutes.

The video was spread by those two girls, the one who JM played with, had promised him not to share it, but the other girl shared it, and the chaos started from here. When JM got on the plane with his friends, he had no idea about all these, because it hadn't started yet. He arrived at JK's house at 10ish PM, and they spent the night together. He tweeted the photo with the caption: "I'm glad to see you after not seeing you for a few days." which implies they were together from 12th to 27th of August (their days off).

The next morning, JM left Seoul for Hawaii with the same friends. If he only wanted to flee Paris because of the controversy, he could just go straight to Hawaii. There was no reason for him to endure the long flights, twice, with not much time to rest in between unless he really wanted to see JK on his birthday. And the video thing is already debunked because it happened after JM left Paris. After Hawaii, he went to Russia and got mobbed because some fans gave away his location.

JM was a 23 yo man back then, he wanted to have fun like any young man at his age, and e deserved a peaceful vacation. People need to stop making a huge deal out of every single move he does, and more importantly, they need to believe his words (his own words in Riyadh vlive) and not call him a liar while there is no evidence of him lying. This is the least a so-called fan has to do for their faves.

[potahun]

OKAY

Fave bits from S4E9:

Qi Sijun: “I want to wish Wen Tao happy birthday”. *turns to Wen Tao like he’s gonna gift the binoculars to him. “Happy Birthday”.  *leaves with binoculars* 

WT, holding the box: “It’s too light. Can’t be a gold bar”.

QI SIJUN. TIED TO THE KITCHEN. AGAIN.

Shi Kai eating vegetables straight off the field like...please Shi Kai. How many health warnings do you need.

Cao Enqi and Qi Sijun both looking themselves up on Weibo: QSJ: “I had a new show and wanted to check the feedback”. CEQ: “I just do it out of habit”. PYX: “You can’t say that, if you say that you lose to him”

Cao Enqi admitting he looked Wen Tao up on Weibo to see his bday wishes. PYX: “He’s checking the feedback on Wen Tao.”

LYT: “After eating, you want to do sports, right?” QSJ: “You don’t understand us very well.” SK: “We don’t want to move at all. We want to lie down”.

Wen Tao wall climbing while Shi Kai is absolutely Not Calm on the ground.

The “that’s it?” moment after He Yunchen reached the top in 2+ mins.

Cao Enqi’s loudest sighs during wall climbing and everyone trying not to laugh

Kai Kai getting pretty much YANKED up the wall in the beginning. 

The hug A Pu gives Xiao Qi. Xiao Qi hanging onto it for just a second before his professionalism kicks in and he starts smiling again

Cao Enqi inadvertently locking himself and Qi Sijun together, and the whole convo that ensued ksdaljksjdlksj

Shi Kai’s tiny sounds of not knowing what to respond to Wen Tao’s questioning, but not wanting to show any weakness, when they were talking on the beds (most didi to ever didi)

Sharing clues!! Sharing clues honestly!! BEFORE BETRAYING EACH OTHER. JUST LIKE THAT

“We must be thinking the same thing, huh?” “Un.” 

Qi Sijun sings a well-known classic. I did not recognise the classic until they played the original right after his singing

[plusonetm]

HI I HEARD IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY RECENTLY, LIKE TODAY, UNLESS IM JUST DUMB AND READ IT WRONG

BUT ANYWAYS!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYY YYYY🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

I believe this is your 14th birthday? Right? Idk, somewhere around that, so congrats!!!!!!!! I hope you have (or had if I’m late) a lot of fun!!!!

STAY GOLD!!!!!!!!!! (Can u get where that reference is from?)

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE VERY KIND AND NICE :DDD I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEK!!

And yep! It's my 14th birthday, thank you sk much for the sweet bday wishes :>

[stray-but-okay]

(I’m keeping your one eye theme but I don’t have a cat so here’s my buddy)

name: Bella ;)

height: 5′’4

age: 21. my bones are cracking 

bday: March 7

sign: Pisces 🐟🐟

fave colors: Right now I’d say maroon and pastel pink, it tends to change a lot

piercings: 6, doubles on both of my ears and then I have a tragus and a rook on my right ear

tattoos: one day but not today XD

ults: My ult group is exo and my bias is Lay but I’d bias them all lmao

I was tagged by @jypstraykids to do this lovely challenge so thanks homie!

I’ll tag @stray6ix @briee-elle @sk-z (even tho you should be studying) @stray-kids @multidino @fangirlingandprocrastinating @maggiandmilo @lalarose @kpoplovinhours @lovelee-taeil @chris-sees-stars @daisy-jeon @starlightbinnie @changminniebb @strayteez-and-chill @itzyv okay I tagged a lot of people because I’m not good at messaging people for the fear that I am annoying them so this is my attempt at a “hope you’re doing well, here’s a tag” XD I was gonna tag more but *shrug emoji* haha. Do if you wish!

[godtier-fics]

happy bday to me 

so announcement

for one year (from 24-25 aka from march 2nd 2017 through march 2nd 2018) i will be aiming to make a vlog per week that explores topics that interest me and/or about me 

so look forward to the first video idek this weekend lmao 

[ayashadam]

ppreciate all the #bday wishes! #TY 💯 This is what I do when my client SK brings me a #birthdaycake start doing #kettlebell #deepsquats #allday #armadafitness #happybirthdaytome #thankyou #grateful #31 #AdamAyash

[megabadbunny]

For the DxR fic meme: Nine x Rose; 01 G ☯

(Nine x Rose, Jackie’s flat, midnight, Rose’s diary; from @doctorroseprompts )

***

He knows he shouldn’t, and yet, here he is.

(But it’s not exactly his fault, is it? If she didn’t wanthim to see it, maybe she shouldn’t have left it lying around all public in theopen, conspicuous and winking at him and daring him to take a little peek,wriggling its (figurative) hips like a minx in red throwing a perfumed kissover one shoulder. Never mind the fact that it wasn’t lying around in public somuch as it was in her room, that it wasn’t in the open so much as it was tuckedunder her mattress.)

The Doctor glances around furtively, even though he knows noone will catch him in the act; the flat is empty of any other living thing,save for him and the dust motes colonizing the space beneath the rug. Rose andher oddity of a mum have whisked off somewhere or other (“a proper girls’night”, Jackie might’ve said, or might not have, as the Doctor might not havebeen listening) and Jack is goodness-knows-where with goodness-knows-whom, sothe Doctor figures he’s got a good few hours to himself before anyone returns.And he’s got to find some way to occupy himself, hasn’t he?

(Besides, it isn’t as if he went snooping specifically for it.More like, he snooped, and there it conveniently was. Also, he’s bored.)

Plunking himself down on her bed—not nearly as soft or plushas her TARDIS bed, he thinks with a smirk—the Doctor opens the book to thefirst page.

Dear dairy readsthe first line.

The Doctor chuckles. There is no date scrawled anywhere onthe page, but the scribbles and misspellings amidst very careful and deliberatestrokes tell the Doctor these words were written by someone who had only recentlylearned penmanship, and was determined to do it well.

Dear dairy

Hello how are you? Myname is Rose Marion Tyler. It is my brithday today I am 6 years old.

It’s almost impossible to imagine Rose ever being so young;far easier to picture her emerging fully-grown and stubborn-willed and jeopardy-friendlystraight from inception. But the Doctor tries, and in his mind’s eye he canalmost see her sitting on the bed—no, lying on it, stomach-down, her sock-cladfeet kicking idly in the air. Her hair, unbleached and light brown, would be pulledback into a ponytail, held in place by one of those what d’you-call-it’s. A scrunchie. Her head would bend down inconcentration over the diary as she clutched her pen tightly in her small fist.The Doctor imagines the pen to be pink, glittery, one of those gel-things, hopelesslyand wonderfully childish and girly, and his grin broadens.

Mummy and me had aparty in the park and Lottie and Fred cud not come but Shireen was there andMickey to and his gran and my grandad Prentis. Grandad brung cake from thestore it has had a heart drawed on and my name and there were candels.We had ice cream to. And I had prezents there was a barby and shoes and a newbell for my bike…

The list continues and the Doctor rolls his eyes fondly.Clearly, six-year-old Rose had decided to commit only the most pertinent ofdetails to memory. He flips through perhaps the first quarter of the diary, pausingat a mention of Mickey here, a drawing of a flower there, and watches as Rose’shandwriting grows more confident, her entries more substantial. Her diary is amicrocosm of her adventures with mates, days at school, developing crushes, thelikeability of some of Jackie’s boyfriends and the caddishness of others. Atrandom, the Doctor slips a finger between the pages and opens the diarymid-entry, perhaps a year or two along its timeline.

and it felt awful butI didnt say anything bc he was right I dont have a dad but Keisha got angry andtold him to butt out and mind his own business. So then Nick laughed and madefun of Keisha bout her mum and I thot Keisha might cry so I punched Nick in thenose and it bled and the head teacher says I cant come back to school for aweek. Mum says Im in trouble but she didnt stop granddad from buying me a 99 onthe way home and she said next time do a slap its easier on the nuckles.

The Doctor can just picture Rose, eight years old, eyesflashing and stance wide as she bloodies some little twerp’s nose with herfist. Now that—that is a Rose he has no trouble imagining. Laughing, the Doctorshakes his head and flips to a later entry.

8 Nov 1996

Dear diary,

We went to go see Dad yesterday.

The Doctor pauses, hesitates. He knows what the words mean—they’refigurative, not literal, because it would be another eleven years before Rose sawany more of Pete Tyler than old photos and a grave—but the memory of the daynine years earlier still sends a shiver down his spine, clenches something inhis gut in a guilty-sick feeling he can’t quite explain.

Mum told me the storyagain. She seemed all right definitely better than the last time. I think thephotos help. Granddad came to and I don’t think he rly liked Dad very much buthe was nice about him today nicer than on other days. Afterwards Mum went todrop me off with Mickey but he said she needed me so I went on home and she seemeda little happier but she still cried a bit.

The Doctor wrinkles his nose. Something about Mickey theIdiot doing a good turn makes him grumpy. Who does that idiot think he is,anyway?

We had tea and fellasleep in front of the telly. I wanted to make her dinner but there was nothingin and I couldnt find anything in her purse so I went down to Ms Nodd’s bc she’sout seeing her grandson and I got the spare key from under her flower pot and Ilooked in her bedroom and found a few pounds and took them. I bought Mum aChinese from her favourite place and she didnt ask where I got the money so I didnttell her. I dont think Ms Nodd would know it was me that took it but I stillfeel bad I just didnt know what else to do. Ill pay her back when I get somemoney for my bday.

Nice old bird, that Ms Nodd. Much nicer than some of theother tenants on the Estate, with her blue-tinged hair and cheerful smile andwithered old hands that freely distribute home-baked biscuits to errant TimeLords who just happen to be handy with a squeaky front door. The Doctor makes amental note to liberate an ATM of a couple hundred-pound-notes at his earliestopportunity and slip them into her flat.

He reads a few more pages—comfortably silly stuff, all ofit, more crushes and rants about school and discussions of celebrities andfashion and Rose’s favorite things on telly—until his fingers land on an oddlybrittle page, warped in places, buckling. Several of the words are nearlyimpossible to discern, smudged as they are, and it takes the Doctorapproximately .003 seconds to identify the water marks as tears.

(There’s no dear diaryhere, no date. The words simply begin, as if writing anything more than theabsolutely necessary would take too much energy. Like it would hurt too much.)

Granddad’s gone.

The Doctor sighs, and his hearts each break a little foryoung Rose, curled up in her bed and crying bitter tears into her pillow. Tenyears old is far too young to experience the cruelty of such a loss. But it isn’tas if it gets any easier at any other age. The Doctor knows that to be painfullytrue.

Had a heart attack.Doctors said he went in his sleep and didn’t feel anything. I hope that’s true.Mum said he’s with the angels now but that’s stupid. The angels don’t need him wedo. I already miss him.

Mum can’t stop crying.I wish Dad was here.

And there’s that feeling again in the Doctor’s gut, thesquirmy-sicky one. Almost as if his stomach knows he shouldn’t be doing this,like his body is punishing him. It was all well and good reading about the funfrivolities of a carefree primary-schooler, but this sort of thing—this issomething else. Something deep and personal, a compound fracture of emptinessand hurt. The Doctor knows should stop reading now. He really should.

(He doesn’t.)

It takes a few weeks for the mentions of Granddad Prentice tostart fading, but eventually, they do, fading away to be gradually replaced bythe normality of everyday life. Sometimes months pass between diary-entries;other times, years. The Doctor smiles as he glances over recountings of schooldays and formals and skipping classes, of Jackie’s eccentric cluster of boyfriends,of fights with friends and happy makings-up after, of holidays and gossip andhopes for the future. The day Rose and Shireen fall out over a boy is marked byan obscene amount of swearing and words crossed-out and pencil-punctures dugdeep into the page; the day Mickey asks Rose to be his girlfriend is noted withexclamation points and a lipgloss-kiss.

The day Rose meets Jimmy Stone is noted with a single heartthat simply reads Mrs Rose Stone.

Grimacing at the words, the Doctor forces himself to presson.

OMG met this bloke Jimmyyesterday n he was soooo fit reads the next entry. Shireen and Keisha and me went down the pub and he was playing in theband and I thot he fancied Keisha at first but after he asked for my number ♡ ♡ ♡I kno it doesn’t mean nothing so I didn’ttell Mickey cos no point in him worrying and he gets so jealous anyway lol

Awww, poor jealous ickle Mickey, thinks the Doctor. He snortsderisively. Human beings—so quick to such petty reactions. He’s very glad hedoesn’t have to worry about silly things like that.

Still, it’s a little surprising when, just a few pages later,things have already progressed by leaps and bounds. Jimmy kissed me! leaps out from the page, followed by things like Mickey and me had a fight and Snuck out to hear Jimmy play downtownand Went to the cinema with Jimmy and he puthis hand up my sk

Hearts hammering, the Doctor flips past that page before hiskeen eyes have a chance to read any further. For some reason, the thought ofJimmy putting his hand up anything of Rose’s—indeed, of Jimmy or some otherfool even thinking about touching her, anywhere, with anything—makes him burn abit under the collar. Unpleasant, that. Maybe he’d better take a look at Jackie’sthermostat, make sure it’s doing its job, because it certainly doesn’t feellike it.

(Still, he skips the several pages that follow, just to besafe.)

said if Iwalked out that door I’d better not walk back in and you know what screw her.She’s wasted her whole life crying about Dad and never doing anything withherself and never doing anything for me. I hate her I would rather die then belike her

Eyes widening in surprise, the Doctor quickly scans over thenext few pages, his concern deepening by the second.

love Jimmy andno one can tell me any different and if Mum really knew what love was then she’dunderstand

Im so glad I’mwith him now he gets me like no one else ever has or ever will, ♡ him forever

didnt want totake my a-levels anyway not like it means anything out in the real world

moving into aflat together next week can’t wait ♡♡♡

and I love himbut I wish he’d get a job cos the gigs don’t make enough n I can’t covereverything on my own

came home drunkagain last night n wouldnt tell me where he’d been

told me I’dbetter cough up the rest of the rent by next weekend or else he would

And then, nothing.

The Doctor frowns. Whatever he would do is left unexplained, torn away along with a wholecluster of pages in the diary, leaving a ragged little scar behind where wordsand feelings used to sit. The Doctor runs a finger along the page-stumps leftin the spine, and wonders.

What could have happened that was so bad that even the memoryof it had to be ripped away?

The next entry picks up a few weeks later. It does notmention Jimmy. Instead, the page displays only a handful of lonely words:

He wasright. I’m so stupid.

It takes a moment for the Doctor to realize that the diaryis shaking in his hands. But that’s only because he’s gripping it so tightlyhis knuckles are glowing bright white in an attempt to jump out of his skin. Andsuddenly he’s glad, in quite a perverse way, that he has witnessed thedestruction of the Reapers firsthand, because otherwise the temptation to pilotthe TARDIS back in time to ensure that Jimmy Stone never hurt Rose—that henever so much as existed, never so much as blighted this planet with even asingle vile breath—would be so strong that he’s not entirely sure he’d be ableto stop himself.

Forcing himself to calm, the Doctor skips forward, hopefullyto an entry that won’t cause hisblood to boil angrily in his ears. Now phrases like moved back in with Mum today and applied at Henriks greet his eyes, and he feels the muscles in hisshoulders begin to relax.

and a sweet ginger boy’sstarted coming round, Mum named him Jonesy

but the new job’s notso bad

going out to the clubswith Shireen

Mickey stopped by withflowers today and it was like nothing had ever gone wrong

anyway we’re datingagain

nothing’ll come of itbut some blokes won in Bristol last week so who knows, maybe we’ll win a littlesomething n I could get Mum something nice

a little boring Iguess but prolly about the best I can expect for now

So my job blew uptoday???

Now a grin spreads across the Doctor’s face, lighting it upfrom ear-to-ear. Finally. Took longenough to get here. Now for the reallygood stuff.

Fingers tingling in anticipation, he turns the page.

Nothing.

The Doctor flips through the remaining pages, hunting forsomething, anything, but nothing buta sea of white greets his eyes, winking up at him obnoxiously without so muchas a single date or scribble or scrawl to capture his attention. The rest ofthe diary is completely, utterly blank.

Huffing in irritation, the Doctor sits back, flipping thebook closed with a scowl. It makes a certain sense, he supposes, but still.Really? She’ll write about ice cream and Barbies and school gossip and Mickeythe Idiot but no mention of the TARDIS, no asides about traveling through timeand space, no discussion of Dickens or Slitheen or bitchy trampolines or 900year-old Time Lords taking her by the hand to show her anything her littleheart could ever possibly—

CLANG.

“I just found it!” blurts out the Doctor without eventhinking, pushing off the bed and whirling round to face Rose’s open bedroomdoorway. But no one stands there; indeed, if his superior hearing is anythingto go by (and it usually is), there’s no one within several meters of him, certainlyno one in the flat. And the continuing ding-dang-dongbell’s sound, ringing at twelve lazy but significant intervals, informs himthat his nervousness was for naught—it’s just Jackie’s old grandfather clock,noisily (and unnecessarily, the Doctor thinks with a grump) proclaiming thetime.

It’s midnight. Probably Rose and Jackie will be home soon. Andprobably he shouldn’t let them know he was nosing through Rose’s diary.

(Even if it wasn’t his fault, seeing as they left him aloneand bored and unoccupied in the flat, and even if he didn’t find what he waslooking for—even if he’s not entirely certain what that was.)

As he slips the diary back into its hiding-place beneathRose’s mattress, it occurs to him that there are any number of reasons Rosemight not be writing things in a diary any more—she forgot it at home, or she’stoo tired after their adventures, or too distracted, or maybe she’s even got anew one aboard the TARDIS, hidden somewhere equally silly. But there’s anotheroption too, he realizes; that she’s simply too happy to see the need forwriting things down, that she is too busy living her memories to think of takingthe time to document them. The thought warms him, contentment blooming in hischest, and he leaves Rose’s room with a smile, closing the door behind him.

(He still checks her room on the TARDIS just in case.)

***

part ii