#six years up here and i still feel like i haven't figured out SHIT

[cyberneticdryad]

i know it is like, still the beginning of fall vibes for most of us but my feral animal brain is trying to prepare for winter SO HARD

[mackeydoodledoo]

She Wears Short Skirts, I Wear T-Shirts: Chapter 6

Pairing: Bridget (Cheerleader AU) x (Fem!)Reader

Chapter Summary: You finally reach the end of your high school years... However, instead of running away with your band right on the last day of classes for seniors, you decide to give a big reveal to your class, and a farewell to Bridget... At Prom.

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, Angtsy Ending

Chapter Key: Italics = Thoughts, +*+ = Time Skip, F/n = Friend's name, B/n = Band Name, Bold/Italic = Flashback

Chapter Theme: Good Luck, Babe! - Chappell Roan

A/n: This isn't going to be the last chapter btw :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Y/n's POV* You roll up your sleeves as you look at yourself in the mirror.

Prom...

You were going to flunk it and practically run away on tour with your bandmates. However, were personally hired by the school...

"Y/n honey your friends are here!" Your mom calls you from down stairs

Your dad helps you load your set into the back of your van.

"You're always welcome home," Your mom gives you the tightest hug, "Even if the town holds bad memories."

"Thanks mom, I'll be in touch," You say

You give your dad a hug as well before hopping into one of the single seats in the van. You wave off to your parents as your bassist drives down the street.

"We're probably coming back here once we're done with the tour," F/n says, "So we ca relax before hitting the studio."

Since 'ghosting' Bridget, your band got a record deal in the city, and you're one of two openers for a headlining band: finally reaching that goal.

"Hey you, haven't seen you since homecoming," You finally notice F/n's girlfriend sitting with her

"Told you I'd be wanting to tour with a band," She smiles, "A shame about Bridget though... How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," You answer bluntly, "But, hopefully I'll feel better after hitting some drums..."

You didn't show up to your graduation: knowing you're the laughing stock for fumbling Bridget. However, everyone who knows you well enough knows she's the one who fumbled you.

"How could one fumble Bridget so hard?!" You overhear someone's conversation

You enter the band hall. Luckily, your last period was band, you could get away from anyone who wasn't a band person.

You had your diploma mailed to your house. You didn't have a big graduation party. Only another gig.

"Before we end the night, we want to give our biggest congratulations to our Drummer and Lead Singer for their high school graduation," The bassist speaks through their microphone

The patrons cheer as you hit the kick drum.

"All right one last one up the shit hole!" The guitarist screams

That was F/n and your 'graduation party' if you will.

"Maybe some woman from another town would catch your eye!" F/n suggests

"I doubt it," You say, "Romance may have worked out for some, but not for me... Apparently..."

"You're young," The guitarist says, "You'll be able to figure it out."

"Or Pinky Pie might come back around," The bassist says

"Yeah, after a stunt like that, it's really hard to gain forgiveness," F/n says, "Forget about Bridget. She was using you as a 'lesbian experiment' or whatever..."

As you arrive to the venue you see the principal waiting at the door.

"Ahh! Y/n, congratulations," He says, checking off your band's name, "You can start setting up in the main hall."

Your guitarist brings the van up to the entrance and the six of you begin unloading the equipment.

+*+

F/n's girlfriend help you attaching your drums to their attachments. You nearly fumble attaching the higher tom onto its attachment on the kick drum.

"Are you sure you want to do this Y/n?" F/n asks, "We can always bail."

"Yeah, you still look like you're hurt," F/n's girlfriend notes

"Not going to give that damn hothead Hook the satisfaction of winning," You sigh, "But, Bridget always wanted our band to be known to the school... So she's getting that wish."

You set up the last of your drumset.

"We'll do the gig," You answer, "But, we're only playing for one hour. Then we have to leave for our tour."

"Deal," The head of prom agrees, shaking your hand

"What a bold way to do it," They tell you, "I get that you're still upset and everything-"

"I'm not," You reassure your friend

You were in full honesty... But, you feel relieved all the same.

"I'm saying goodbye," You say

"A very Y/n thing to do," The guitarist says

This gig was also the highest paying one... Wanted to make sure it was enough to get through the tour... Including tips and whomever buys merch...

"I can't believe you waited this long to reveal the band to the school," The bassist says

"I love the fact you're pinpointing me like I'm the leader," You sigh

"Well, you are the one who keeps us in time," F/n says

"That's because I'm the drummer," You say, "Well, I also thought we agreed that we wouldn't reveal our 'cool band' personas to the school since we... Hate this place F/n."

"She does have a point there..." She says, "Alright, let's get this shit show over with so we can get to the much cooler shows."

You couldn't wait to be honest.... You were going to a new state.... You never could really afford to travel. Even with a job, it wasn't enough. But, at least you weren't spoiled to death like the popular girls. You, and the people you share the stage with worked hard to earn your shit.

+*+

You see the prom-goers beginning to gather at the venue. Bridget showing up with her boyfriend... You turn away at the sight of her, beginning to feel your heartbeat thrum in your ears.

"Y/n, breathe.." F/n puts their hand on your shoulder, "We're on in Sixty."

You nod as you walk to your drum set.

"Good evening Merlin Academy High seniors!" Principal Merlin announces through the microphone

Cheers erupted from the other side of the curtain.

"Before we get to our amazing DJ of the night, we have a special opening act for all of you tonight," He continues

You grab your drumsticks...

"This band features two of Merlin Academy High's seniors," He continues, "Please give a warm welcome to... B/n!!!"

The curtain drops as you throw down a rhythm and your bandmates follow.

You look out to the audience and see Bridget's shocked face. Your brain goes back into 'performer' mode.

"Hey Seniors," F/n greets as the three of you play similar rhythms together, "Didn't expect Y/n and I huh? Well, do we have a surprise for you!"

+*+

As the set went on, countless seniors were practically in front of the stage, cheering. You see Bridget and Hunter sitting at a table in the far back... You knew she wanted to be the one at the front of the stage. Hell, even on stage with you. But, Hunter.... He seems to have said otherwise.

You could give Bridget some credit, that seeing all the people that bullied you throughout high school screaming, and cheering for the two of you.... It was gratifying..

+*+

"Thanks Merlin High Academy!" F/n says, "It's been a ride! So long, and goodnight!"

The curtain goes back up as the five of you walk backstage and take a second to breathe.

"HAHAH! Tell me the didn't feel so GOOD Y/n!" F/n smiles as they hook their arm over your shoulder

For once.... You felt... Happy.

"You should have seen all of their faces when they saw us on stage!" She continues

"Priceless!" You laugh, "They're gonna regret calling us nerds and treating us like shit in the next few years! Oh, you should have seen how all of them were practically at the front of the stage!"

As the house music began, you all begin breaking down equipment: F/n's girlfriend helping you break it down.

+*+

You carry the attachments in an elongated bag, as f/n's girlfriend carries the smaller drums, and anyone else who has an extra hand to carry the bigger drums. As the guitarist opens the back and begins meticulously organizing all the equipment, you pass some of the smaller stuff to them.

"Y/n," Bridget's voice calls out to you

You stop moving and turn to face her. Instantly your heart thrums against your ears. Her boyfriend practically clinging to her.

"Couldn't face me alone so you had to bring your little dog around?" You ask

"You little bitch!" Her boyfriend begins walking after you

"Hook, no," She presses her arms against his chest, "That's not it."

"Oh, right..." You chuckle sarcastically, "He's practically surgically attached to you and doesn't trust seeing you with the likes of me."

"Y/n that isn't fair-"

"You know what isn't fair?" You walk up to her

Hook was about to right hook your jaw, however, didn't want to in front of her.

"Letting me believe you actually cared about me," You start, "Hang out with me so many times, you invite me to your house, cheer competitions and get me to talk about all this shit after we graduate. Turns out it was all fake. To 'tell' me that we are nothing. but you know the truth... That's what's not fair... So I'm getting the fuck out of here."

You finish loading the last few pieces of your drums.

"Will I ever see you again?" Bridget asks, attempting to hold her tears back

You pause...

That little spark of hope in you wants to... The dark parts say 'fuck no'. The other... Is unsure...

"I doubt it," You answer, "Goodbye... Bridget..."

You continue walking to your van. That little spark of hope in you hoped that she'd last second change her mind and want to go with you....

*Bridget's POV* You wanted to leave your boyfriend behind and just go with Y/n... But, he was right there... Next to you... He'd never let you go...

"Finally Y/n, let's get this show on the road and forget this shit graduating class!" Y/n's friend says, which you could hear through the muffled glass

*Y/n's POV* You shut the back doors of the van, trying to keep yourself composed. Bridget's eyes glued to your back. You wanted to look back... To take in her pink hair, and her soft facial features before you may never see it again....

But, it was time to move on...

You hop into an open seat in the van, shutting the door behind you. Leaving your hometown behind...

Leaving... Bridget behind.

Chapter 7

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

What To Get A 19 Year Old Boy For His Birthday...

Pairing: Platonic! Peter Parker & Reader; Reader x Bucky (but that's not really plot relevant)

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none as usual, you yell at Strange lol

Genre: super fluff

Summary: You happen to be the only person who still remembers Peter Parker exists and you are not about to hang him out to dry. So what happens when you take Peter in and basically become his guardian? Well- nothing is simple where super-teens are involved, but you and Peter can certainly handle whatever comes your way. Right?

***

You from to yourself, feeling like you're forgetting something even though you're just watching TV with Bucky. There's nothing to forget that you can-

"Oh shit-" You gasp sitting up suddenly. Bucky grabs the remote and turns the volume down.

"What?" He frowns shifting to look at you.

"I just realized Peter's birthday's next week and I haven't even thought of what to get him or what to do or-"

"Take a breath y/n. You still have a week." Bucky reminds you with a hand on your shoulder.

"What do I get a nineteen year old boy for his birthday?" You turn to him.

"Why are you asking me?" He blinks.

"You're a guy!"

"I'm a hundred and seven?! I haven't been nineteen in like eighty years, do you really think I would have any idea what a modern teen would want? I can guarantee my interests at nineteen were far different." He scoffs.

"Well what did you want at nineteen?" You ask.

"To avoid another world war?" He shrugs and your mouth drops open.

"I can't fucking stand you." You laugh shoving him lightly.

"Oh come on, how could I resist?!"

"You're so irritating! Be serious." You say fighting giggles.

"Alright, alright, what's the kid interested in?"

"I dunno, comic books, video games, nerdy stuff?" You shrug.

"I've never seen him play video games before." Bucky frowns.

"He plays them on his computer."

"He doesn't have a gaming system of some sort?"

"No?"

"Do you own one?"

"No."

"So get him one of those and a couple of games." Bucky shrugs.

"That's a great idea! And you said you wouldn't know what to get him." You smile.

"I'm sure you could've figured that out."

"You'll come shopping with me won't you? I have no idea what games to get for him honestly."

"How about you take care of the system and I'll worry about the games. Split the cost of this birthday thing."

"What do you mean you're going to worry about the games?" You frown.

"Just trust me. How much is the system anyway?"

"Probably three, maybe four hundred dollars. Depends."

"Sheesh. That's- pricier than I expected honestly." He hums.

"Yeah they can get pretty up there." You shrug.

"Alright then if you buy the system I'll take the kid out and get him an equivalent in games."

"You really wanna spend $600 on his birthday?" You blink.

"I mean he's lost his entire family and he never goes anywhere or talks of friends, we're probably the only people he's going to get gifts from. We can take some of the money from the Stark account." Bucky says. When Tony died there were a couple of accounts set up in your name to take over Avengers related expenses. One to be used for the team's avenging related tasks and one to help the team with personal affects- mostly Thor since he'll likely never have a job here but he's not here that much these days anyway.

"I don't want to get into the habit of using that money, in case of an emergency." You say.

"Baby, you're a witch and I'm a super soldier I can't imagine there will be many emergencies where that money is our only solution. Stark died and we ended up with enough money to change our tax bracket. Six hundred dollars would hardly make a dent and if ever we're in a situation where we do have to use that money for an emergency and we find ourselves $600 short I'm sure neither of us will look back and say 'if only we hadn't given that kid we're responsible for a great birthday gift he loved'." Bucky says.

"Very well, we'll use the Stark account and do it big for him." You say.

"There- now you can stop panicking about his birthday." Bucky pulls you back into his side and turns the volume back up on the TV. You don't point out to Bucky how it seems he's bonded with Peter a bit. At least to some degree since he's suddenly advocating for a big birthday gift for him. You know he'll deny it if you bring it up so you simply smile to yourself at the thought and settle back into his chest. You'll head to the store tomorrow to pick up a console and some birthday supplies.

*~*~*

"Bucky can you grab the candles from the bedroom please baby? They should be in the bag on my desk." You shout while carefully removing the plastic covering from Peter's birthday cake.

"On it!" Bucky calls back from the living room. Moments later, he hands you the opened candles.

"Thank you for opening them." You kiss his cheek and carefully stick the 1 and 9 on the cake without disturbing the Happy Birthday Peter written in blue frosting.

"How long do you think it'll take him to come back?" Bucky asks.

"I only asked him to get some salt, he should be opening the door any minute now." You shrug. "Do you think he suspects anything?"

"Nah, I'll bet when you didn't wish him happy birthday this morning or make anything special for breakfast that he assumed we didn't know or weren't going to make a big deal about it."

"Oh- I hope he's not moping through the streets thinking we forgot." You frown.

"I mean I don't-" Bucky stops suddenly. "He's coming down the hall, light the candles." He tells you. You grab the lighter and quickly light the candles, lifting the cake just as the handle turns.

"Hey. Got the salt you asked for-"

"Happy Birthday Peter!!" You shout when he enters the kitchen.

"Happy birthday kid." Bucky nods.

"You remembered my birthday?"

"Of course I did sweetie! Make a wish." You walk the cake over to him and hold it out for him to blow out the candles. He looks between you and Bucky a couple of times before closing his eyes and blowing out the candles quickly.

"Yay!" You say setting the cake on the counter.

"Thanks guys- I- I kinda thought you'd miss it."

"Nonsense! How could I? Oh and before I forget, your gift." You float the prettily wrapped box from behind the island, into the Peter's hands.

"What is it?"

"You know the point of wrapping a gift is for you to unwrap it in order to find out what's in it." Bucky tells him.

"I know- but I thought maybe you'd tell me anyway." Peter shrugs.

"No way! That ruins the surprise! Open it." You clap excitedly.

"Alright alright." Peter says. He quickly tears off the wrapping paper and his mouth drops open when he fully reveals the box. "You got me an Xbox?" His voice is full of disbelief but you can't say for sure if that's good or not.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"A-are you kidding?! This is like the best gift I've ever gotten!" Peter says throwing his arms around you. You hug him back relieved that the gift was a success.

"I'm glad! Bucky and I had no idea what to get you." You chuckle.

"You did great." He says.

"This is only the first half of the gift technically. A console needs games, so I'm taking you out to buy some." Bucky adds.

"No way- you don't have to this is already plenty I-I mean these things aren't cheap I don't wanna take advantage of-"

"It's not a question kid, we're going. After lunch." Bucky cuts him off.

"Really? Today?" Peter blinks at him.

"You wanna be able to set that thing up or not?"

"We'll go after lunch." Peter nods. "Are you coming with us y/n?"

"I can't hon I've got some errands to run." You say.

"I hoped we'd all be together for my birthday."

"Don't worry, we'll all be back for dinner together."

"Oh, okay, that's fine then."

He's probably nervous about spending extended time alone with Bucky but you think it'll be good for them to find common ground that's not contingent on you. Obviously, they're capable of coordinating if your anniversary is any indicator. You want to give them the chance to build on that.

In the meanwhile, you have something of equal importance to take care of. You push open the heavy doors to Stephen Strange's lair. He doesn't call it that, and he rather hates it when you do, but that's basically what it is.

"Strange!" You shout.

"Y/n! Hello, to what do I owe this visit?" He asks floating down to meet you. You walk up to him and smack your palm against his forehead. "I guess this isn't a friendly visit then." He hisses rubbing his forehead.

"Not quite." You roll your eyes. A quick succession of hand gestures completes the spell that unlocks Stephen's memories of Peter. He takes a sharp breath as his memories return.

"You know- there are less painful ways do that spell." He says after a moment.

"There are also more painful ways to do that spell be glad I just tapped your forehead." You say.

"Tapped is a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"

"I wanted to beat your ass. Count your blessings I didn't come in here and do that."

"I assume this is about Peter, then?" Stephen sighs.

"Help me with the math here, a 17-year-old comes to you and says 'I want to alter reality' and you don't consider- not doing that?"

"Well hang on I definitely warned him it was a bad idea but he was insistent that it was ruining his life."

"Dude he was 17. A 17 year old will think the world is ending because his best friend moves away before senior year of high school. Granted he's dealt with some pretty intense adult troubles but he's still just a kid and you're like pushing 50 he isn't the responsible party in that situation." You say.

"Watch it, pushing 50 is an exaggeration." Stephen points.

"Not. The point. You altered the very fabric of time and space not once, but twice at the behest of a child."

"It wouldn't have been twice if he hadn't totally screwed up the first one."

"You're the sorcerer not him. It was your spell. Your responsibility." You say.

"Hey he kept adding caveats in the middle of my casting and magic is tricky enough as is without that."

"I know how tricky magic is, which is why I wouldn't have an untrained teenager be part of casting a spell of that magnitude in the first place! It was a bad decision on your part and in the end you got to walk away as if it never even happened. And that might be even more egregious, you completely abandoned the kid after all that chaos."

"Well not completely, I knew the probability of you being unaffected by the spell and thus stepping in was almost 100%."

"Almost 100 isn't 100 and that's still abandoning. The moment you decided to do that spell for him you took on a responsibility." You say.

"So what was I supposed to do? Simply take him in?" He scoffs.

"Well when you take away his entire support system with a spell that is the least you can do Strange."

"He knew the consequences, and it all worked out fine. He's got you now." He shrugs.

"I wonder if you just don't hear yourself speak or if you truly struggle with emotional intelligence so severely." You take a moment to really look at him as if the answer will come to you if you stare at him for long enough. "Whatever, I didn't come here just to yell at you."

"Really? I couldn't have guessed that."

"Today is Peter's birthday. I came to fix your memories so you could send him a birthday card." You say.

"Why would I do that?" He frowns.

"Because your botched spell resulted in the death of his only remaining living relative? We're all he's got."

"Hey I fixed that situation to the best of my ability."

"And it didn't bring his aunt back. It also cost him every relationship he's ever developed. Send him a damn card. Today." You spin around and walk back towards the door. "Be glad I won't drop him on your doorstep. He doesn't deserve that punishment." You scoff, waving the doors open and heading back towards your own apartment to get started on dinner. 

"So how did game shopping go?" You ask Bucky and Peter once you're all sat eating dinner.

"Oh we got way more than I would've expected. Mr. Bucky was overly generous I just hope it's clear how greatful I am."

"You've thanked me at least 10 times in the last hour. You've been more than clear kid. It's your birthday so you can stop now."

"I'm glad you had a nice time." You chuckle.

"What did you get up to while we were out baby?" Bucky asks.

"Just some errands nothing interesting." You shrug.

"Nothing interesting?" He raises an eyebrow.

"A little of this a little of that. My to-do list never ends really. Some shopping, I hit the bank, made some visits. You know how it goes."

"I dunno about you but that sounds rather suspicious to me Peter." Bucky turns to him.

"Definitely." Peter nods.

"I clearly made a mistake letting you two spend the afternoon together." You roll your eyes grabbing yours and Peter's now empty plates.

"We will discover your secrets y/n." Bucky warns.

"Good luck with that." You chuckle kissing Bucky's temple before walking the dishes over to the sink.

"Oh no you don't, you cooked, I'll do the dishes." Bucky wraps his hands around your waist and moves you from in front of the sink.

"Fine fine, Petey you want help setting up your Xbox then?" You ask.

"Sure! Is it okay to set it up in my room?"

"Of course it is. It's your thing. Plus if you end up playing all day long I don't want you taking over my living room." You tap his shoulder.

"Cool." He chuckles.

It doesn't take you long to set up the system in his room, it's just a matter of plugging in it and then the rest is for him to do on his own, make an account and such. You're just about to leave his room when a small portal appears in front of him.

"Peter. Happy birthday." Strange says reaching through with a card. You hold back a smile as Peter takes the card with obvious shock on his face.

"T-thanks Mr. Strange." Peter says. Stephen nods and closes the portal without another word.

"I didn't think he remembered me." Peter blinks at you.

"The world works in mysterious was huh." You ruffle Peter's hair. "I'll leave you to get used to your new toy." You add before exiting his room and joining Buckyin the living room.

"Okay, so where did you go today? Really?"

"Honestly I had to go yell at Strange for some magic related things." You say.

"What did he do?"

"It's complicated. Let's just say it'll be a while before I leave our timeline in his hands if ever again." You muse.

"Ah is that why you didn't bring it up at dinner? So the kid doesn't ask about Strange?"

"Yeah basically." You shrug. You're sure Bucky means in terms of Peter not knowing that you're an Avenger or whatever but seeing as you can't explain the real reason you didn't want to talk about it at dinner you see no reason to correct him at the moment. Eventually you'll give him all the details, but today has been good for all of you, you'd like to end on a high.

***

Tagged Users: @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @buchi91

[fleouriarts]

time for a jamie and co LORE POST!!!! here's them with their (immediate) families. all the actual lore and such below

JAMIE: only child with a single mom. since furries in this universe can only have kids within their taxonomic families, adoption is really common among smaller families like prionodontidae. however jamie's mom erica really wanted a bio kid, so she ended up marrying another linsang who she liked... well enough, but not that much. they get divorced when jamie's a little kid. she had jamie at an older age; by the time he's in college her markings have already started greying, which is why she looks a little dull next to him. nowadays she works as a teacher and she loves her son vewy much :3

SANTIAGO: santiago is the only one in the main cast with different species parents. cross-species kids are just the species of either parent with a 50/50 chance cus i don't feel like dealing with hybrids... HOWEVER sometimes genetic fuckshit happens. because of said genetic fuckshit, santiago grew to a cow size instead of a sheep size. i couldn't fit all the family relations shit on the actual image but emilio is santiago's OLDER brother (hes 25) but people always assume hes younger because santiago is a giant. magnolia and amapola are twins and both 8. mariana is either a teacher or a librarian (haven't figured it out yet) but she used to paint when she had more free time which is how santiago got interested in painting and eventually went into fine arts. jorge is a plumber and emilio is a graphic designer. santiago is the first in the family to leave their hometown (key west) for a degree (emilio went to a local college) and his mom + sisters were SOOOOOOOOOO SAD so he comes home to visit as often as he can. also since he is in family bovidae he has several cousins/aunts and uncles/etc that are different species. all i know for sure is that one of them lives near jamie and co's college and is some sort of antelope (leaning towards bongo bc i like them). also using this poast to announce that i changed santiagos outfit here is his new cute flowers and bees sweater look

JOHNNY: her family works on a chicken (and other assorted birds) farm, the chickens are for both eggs and meat while the other birds are just for eggs. this is actually a common set-up in the dorian furryverse, it's hard to farm livestock as a carnivore (because all the livestock are deathly afraid of you) so herbivores usually do the job even if they can't actually eat what they farm. johnny's parents are sorta "confused but got the spirit" about her being a butch lesbian. jimmy is an ass about it but he gets better. shoutout to this horse color calculator for helping me figure out which coat colors were plausible for them

NULL: null has an older brother and does not talk to their parents. sakichi is six years older than null and they were never very close; their parents treated sakichi as the "successful" child and null as the "problem" child. they're also quite conservative. null realized they were agender in high school but stayed closeted at home, they planned to come out to their parents immediately once they got to college and were able to support themselves. something happens that instead makes them come out a few days after their graduation and they get kicked out. null doesn't know where to go and ends up living at johnny's farm for the summer before college (sakichi lives far away doing some tech job and so can't take them in). the clantons are basically null's family at this point. once null legally changes their name they remove their last name entirely (it probably says X on their documents just cus there has to be SOMETHING there). sakichi and null see each other very occasionally, and sakichi still talks to their parents, but only when absolutely necessary. it's not malicious, he'd just feel too guilty cutting himself off from them completely

ARGYLE: argyle is an only child with well-off parents, his mom is a lawyer and his dad is a quirky ancient history professor. his parents are like EXTREMELY doting so they were secretly kinda glad that he came back home so they could see him more often. argyle was really scared that they would hate him for going into a less stable field, but his parents love him to death and are ready to support him in whatever. suzanne was probably a nightmare at pta meetings i'll be so real

[nautilusopus]

surprise self-rec time! pick 3 of your favorite things you’ve written/drawn and share them here, then put this in the inbox (anonymously or not) of your fellow creators to spread the positivity and help celebrate already posted works 💞

Oh geez uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Obvious pick but check out TNI if you follow me, are into VII, and haven't already. It's the thing I'd say I least have the urge to go back and fix (in part because of the length lmao). This had no right to turn out as good as it did considering I started writing it as a 500 word joke about a terrible terrible headcanon I read but them's the breaks I guess, and then people started drawing stuff from it??????? (Hosted largely at @thenumberi.) Insane. Made a lot of friends through it too (you're one of them hi). Copying my synopsis here:

Cloud, now four years out from Meteorfall, struggles to adjust to civilian life given he’s still gene-spliced with an Old God, and begins losing control of his body to a heretofore seemingly unknown entity with inscrutable goals. As it gradually becomes clear that the events of the previous four years aren’t as they seem in more ways than one, things start to go off the rails completely as Cloud winds up enmeshed in conflict between multiple parties: an international initiative studying cosmology and the two doctors leading it; the WRO, who has considered him a Jenova-based liability from day one; interpersonal friction with his newfound family stemming from the residual baggage of everything he went through; and reality itself beginning to deteriorate. It’s slice of life, it’s cosmic horror, it’s a character study, it’s about grown men crying and legacies and grief and trauma and intimacy and autonomy and gender as a microcosm for broader truths about the nature of the self, it’s got angry tearful fistfights, bottoms that haven’t figured out you can take it in turn to service top, Cloud telling everyone his strong and correct opinions about magic and materia and bikes, found family shenanigans, and me talking about garlic for way way way too long. Something for everyone! I wasn’t kidding about any of that by the way, heed the warnings at the top of the chapters because I do NOT pull punches and we get into some heavy shit. Go hard or go home.

I shat Replacements out in six hours day-of and it's the only time in my life I've ever had something as a very clear vision in my head and realised it more or less exactly how I wanted without stumbling at any point. (I guess New Traditions was like that also but that feels like cheating a bit since I literally had to write that in an hour on paper for a contest and then was able to clean it up a little bit when I typed the thing up.) A story about how Cloud figures out where Hojo was getting his backup organs from, and the grieving process.

Cloud goes digging in Nibelheim and finds more than he was ready to.

Another thing I kind of vomited out all at once. I fucking love writing Yuffiefic and she is criminally underutilised by the fandom, as the only member of Avalanche that I think would actually have a social life outside of them. Also it was kind of a fun way to exorcise some of my own feelings about some cultural obligations I never like being dragged to (and feel guilty about hating) and why I hate participating them in the first place. Plus this one has like TNI has GORGEOUS ARTWORK THANK YOU TOFU

Also I put Halloween in the summer and added red bean buns and fireworks to it, fuck the police.

Yuffie appreciates her culture together with some friends, even if said "appreciation" is practically mandatory.

[renren-006]

The thought keeping my mind running at the moment is a Sierra Six x Sierra Seven blurb/quick one shot that's these two internationally known killers/spies/however we want to categorize them who can take out anyone flawlessly with no trace struggling to help Claire on some algebra homework or something. Like imagine these two trying to figure out how SAT prep works and how to use the quadratic formula, because I'm pretty sure there would be more frustration and absolutely confusion shared between the two of them than in this little teenagers mind.

Homework Problems | Sierra Seven x F! Reader

Word Count: 955 A/N: I really hope you like it! feel free to send me any request for myre Sierra Six stories id love to write them!!!

You were an international spy, not many things puzzled you. Today was when you learned that math was the one thing that would puzzle you. As you sat at the kitchen table next to Claire the numbers scribbled on the page were like a foreign language to you, and you knew many. 

“This...Claire what the hell is this” You asked, eyebrows furrowed together. Claire looked up at you with the most amused look on her face.

“Seven, this is...this is math,” Claire said, giving you a questioning look, “you do know..”

“Yes, i know what math is...I just haven't done it in a very long time”

“So you don't calculate an angle before you shoot?” Claire asked. 

“Claire be honest with me, do I look like I calculate things,” You asked. Claire thought for a moment before responding.  “When it comes to Six, yes,” She told you, glancing outside to the x-spy patiently waiting in the yard for Claire's dog, Fitz, to go to the bathroom.

“Besides Six,” I asked her, still looking back at the puzzling numbers on the page. 

“Umm I don't know, I mean when you and Six saved me it seemed like you did,” she told you, referring to the time you saved her and shot a guy just by looking into a mirror. You shook your head. 

“Honestly Claire Its muscle memory now, I fight because I know how to fight, this domestic life it’s different, its a new thing ill have to learn,” You told her honestly, “But this, me you, and Six that I know how to do that, but math and homework and school its all-new”

“I know,” She told you, “Thank you for being here for me”

“oh sweetheart, of course, I'm uh your mom now so I have got to take care of my family, and don't think Six doesn't check the house three times before we go to bed, just to make sure you safe,” You told her, “Now, tell me how to do this math”

“Well it's for this test called the SAT and I have to like solve it and find the answer” Claire explained after the smile left her face. 

“Textbook?” you asked. Claire nodded her head. 

“I have one” She exclaimed.

"Why don't you grab it,” You told her calmly

“Right,” She said and marched off to her room to find the math textbook. 

“Six?” You asked, Six strutted over to you his face lazy and he finally looked calm.  "Yes," he answered, a questioning look on his face.

“Do you know algebra?” You asked. 

“Not really, haven't done that in a few years,” Six said. 

“Well, Claire is studying for..the SAT I think and I have no idea what math is involved with it,” You told him. Six scratched his head.

“Shit i knew this was something we would have to do” He said.

“And this just slipped your mind?” You asked, He nodded.

“I was going to mention it but she never came to us...” Six replied a hand ran over his face and an exaggerated sigh left his lips.

“Wait, you're telling me, essentially our daughter didn't come to us for homework help?” You asked, “We are failing as parents Court,” You said. 

"Hey, y/n we are doing perfectly well under these....did you just say, parents?" He asked you.

"Well, I mean yea? Look at us Court? I care about Claire so much and all I want is a normal life for her and to not have to look over my shoulder anymore." you told him.

"I want that too," he said pulling you in. "Now, let's try and figure out these math homework things so that we can better help her," he said laughing and pulling away. Claire re-entered the room, with a knowing and happy look as she sat between the two of you.

"Now I have to solve this thing called the quadratic formula," Clair said flipping to the page with the unknown language you still wouldn't decipher.

"what the....Claire do you want my head to explode?" you asked her.

"haha I don't think Seven can comprehend math," Court said, laughing with Claire.

"And you can?" you ased your counter part.

"...no," he said, the silence before his answer made Clair bust out even more in laughter having tears spill from her eyes.

"Omg if I had known asking my parents to help with math would lead to none of us knowing I would have just gone to get tutoring," she said in between bursts of laughter.

"I'm sorry kiddo, I mean really I don't remember much math from that far back," you said, thinking back to the years when you were her age. You had been convicted of arson before graduating and math was the last thing on your mind in prison. You had met Court not too long afterward being around 20 or so, and math was the last thing on your mind at the academy.

"y and b.....wait why the hell are there letters I thought math was all numbers and shit?" Court asked Claire breaking you from your thoughts.

"oh...yea I guess they have letters as substitutes for numbers"

"that is not logical," Court said, he pushed the book away with a grumble, "You said you could go to tutoring?"

"Yea they have a tutoring center at school," she said.

"I think they will be better helped than us with this...quadrophonic equation shit"

"It's quadratic," she said snarkily.

"Whatever, it's bullshit," Court said with a grumble.

"Okay why don't we stop with math and move on to something else," you said directing the conversation away from the frustrations of math.

[thecursivej]

SOTU - 2024

Well, I'm forcing myself to watch the State of the Union while I grade speeches, so I figured I'd record my reactions and thoughts here.

Do I hope for the words "Immediate Ceasefire"? Absolutely. Will we get them? Looking at the track record, probably not. But I remain optimistic because otherwise I'd be six feet under by now; ANYWHO here is a list of my reactions/thoughts/general feelings of the evening's watch.

I do want to give a point of clarity: I technically am identified as a democrat; truly, I'm a socialist, but seeing as how the U.S. is stuck in this godforsaken two-party-system, that is where I am. Though both sides have me feeling very french-revolutionary-esque.

Of course the first thing I see if MTG rifling through her purse on screen. I quite literally despise her.

AP is discussing Ukraine's need for weapons and funding; I would truly rather us align with Ukraine than Isr@el. I will stand unapologetically firm for Palestine and Ukraine.

Who is actually in the cabinet? I know Blinken, Garland, and Buttiegeg. Damn, wish he was running again. Would rather have him than Biden.

How insane is it that the Sec. of Defense didn't even let the White House know that he had to go in for surgery because of cancer. Like, that's just bonkers to me.

Republicans truly look like fucking robots right now. No warm greetings, no hellos, simple nods.

Republicans out here wasting fucking time with that impeachment of Mayorkas. Like how about we house the homeless populations with the money they wasted on this circus.

Oh funky fresh look at the Ultra-Mormon(TM) Mitt Romney.

MTG with that stupid fucking MAGA hat on is just... disgusting. Like this bitch is crazy.

Okay Joe, speed it up down the fucking aisle please. I got papers to grade.

Lowkey Joe looks like he might have had a five-hour energy drink with that big-ole look in his eyes.

I do appreciate that Joe still smiles and is kind to MTG. She truly doesn't deserve it.

Okay this is getting just a wee bit too monarchy for me.

MTG holds up a button saying "Laken Riley..." (couldn't read the rest). Riley was a 14 year old girl murdered by a man who was an illegal immigrant of venezuela, and instead of handling this situation with grace, empathy, and love; MTG and others seem to be capitalizing on her death to push their anti-immigration rhetoric.

Okay, cool selfie skills Joe, but let's get on with it.

ALSO HOW IS JOE BIDEN GONNA BE SO IN DEPTH WITH TECH AND "Savvy" WITH IT WHEN MOTHERFUCKER WANTS TO BAN TIKTOK!? Hello?!

BERNIE AND RAPHAEL! I feel like I haven't seen these guys in 10 million years.

Oh thank god we're starting.

Aww the little hand shake thingy he does with Kamala makes my heart happy.

Did Joe just yell "tony"?!

Wow, even got some republicans clapping for him (probs not a good thing but here we are)

Okay, good bit of humor at the top; and a throwback to the 40s. Funky fresh.

Yeah we ain't living in ordinary times for damn sure.

Interesting point of democracy being attacked here in the U.S. AND Internationally. (Mentions Ukraine and Putin; no word on Gaza yet).

Someone busted out a Ukrainian flag and shook it; rock on.

OH SHIT HE GOT MIKE JOHNSON TO CLAP!

Appreciate the insistance that the U.S. won't send troops to UKR.

Good use of Reagan to connect with the Repubs; and compare to the predecessor (aka Tr*mp).

Mike Johnson nodding instead of clapping about the predecessor comment, trying to save his ass in Orange Man's eyes.

Welcome to NATO, Sweden!

If there is one thing that should connect Democrats and Republicans; it's hatred for Putin. Yet there's a mix of Repubs standing in agreement and sitting to back up the predecessor's comment on Putin doing "whatever the hell he wants"

Talking about Jan 6. What breaks my heart? My parents still believe it wasn't an insurrection. Yikes on Bikes for me.

The line "You can't love your country only when you win" hits hard and even got Mike Johnson to applaud in agreement.

Foreign AND Domestic. Need a hefty focus on that with the right-wing republican group (@ MTG, Gaetz, Cruz, etc.)

Discussing IVF in Alabama; good connection to the overturning of Rowe v. Wade. It sucks that Republicans HAVE THE POWER to protect IVF nationally but shot the damn bill down not even a week ago.

ABORTION IS A HUMAN RIGHT. BODILY AUTONOMY IS A HUMAN. FUCKING. RIGHT. (@ The Missouri Senators who support taking away bodily autonomy).

WOMEN AREN'T WITHOUT ELECTORAL AND POLITICAL POWER; WE ABOUT TO TURN UP IN FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Bring back the strats from the 1900s; time to use our power and go bonkers.

Someone get Joe a glass of water please. Motherfucker looks a bit parched and keeps coughing. I get that when my throat goes dryyy

Can Biden not restore RvW? Can he not by an executive order make RvW the law of the land already?

Revisiting COVID's start from 2020 (Next week is the four year anniversary since the global pandemic).

PFFT idk who just yelled "LIES" but that was comical AF.

Well, the pandemic still controls a big part of our lives... so...don't agree with that shit.

Man, everyone sitting-and-standing must be getting a HELLA calf work out.

Sure, unemployment is down and new jobs are built; but corporate greed is quite literally killing us. Can Congress or Biden do something, damn it?!

Are we beginning to feel it, though? Are we feeling good economics? I doubt we are.

Good job pointing out how both parties have failed to buy american products, but how this admin has established that.

There's a good two rows of Republicans who stand in applause; but the rest just... sit there. Like robots. It's freaky as fuck.

Joe is actually doing pretty great with the flow of this speech. Only a couple of stumbles, but overall pretty gucci. (He'd get a 9/10 on delivery in my public speaking class).

God these fuckers are really gonna make me run for office at this damn point.

Removing poisonous lead pipes... but there's still a water crisis in Flint, Biden. Like, what the fuckeroni do you mean?

Yes, let's invest in family farms; lets stop selling our farmland (especially in Missouri) to foreign countries (@ China buying up TONS of Missouri Farmland).

I love that the UAW president is here, because he straight up is my kind of people. Dude wears eat-the-rich shirts and calls out the unethical-ness of billionaires.

UAW President pointing to Biden saying "It's you!"; nah dawg, it's you Sean.

MIDDLE CLASS DID BUILD THE COUNTRY AND UNIONS BUILT THE MIDDLE CLASS MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Yes we get back up but right now...we might be getting more french revolutionary-esque if y'all don't stop PLAYING WITH OUR LIVES.

Oh jesus not the 4-more-years chants.

Oh now we talking about the future

YES PLEASE END TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMIES.

Says he's not anti-corp; but points out how trickle down economics has only helped the wealthy.

Yeah, how the fuck does it hurt the wealthy to pay just a weeee bit more in taxes? Like dawg, what are you gonna do with another million? What's the point?

Ooooh is Biden about to rope the repubs into some bipartisan shit? Please do.

What is Republicans huge issue with capping insulin? Truly? Who does it harm? Billionaires still get billions.

[sarenhale]

It's so strange being ok.

I've spent the last... six years? Being depressed, angry, frustrated, sad, disillusioned.

When you spend so much time just giving up internally everyday, fighting your mind every single time you wake up, you forget how being okay is like. I'm not even talking about being happy or ecstatic. Just being in balance. In control. I forgot how it felt like.

I remember how I felt like shit was always out of my hands, my life, my job, my mental health, my emotion, my path, my decisions. I remember feeling like a small boat in the middle of the ocean all the time, not knowing what the fuck to do. It's so strange to have shit working out and then figuring out you're okay.

Just breathing and looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing you're done. You're here and you've done it. You're living your life and you're content and things are working out and a future is appearing again at the horizon. It's crazy.

It's genuinely something I had given up for a long while. It's something I never even thought about or dreamt about anymore, and then boom, it happens suddenly in a couple of months, and you sit there like holy shit. Just drinking a beer in the breeze of the calmness of your own living room, the room lit by the tv screen, and you realize you're content. You're at peace, finally, and you're out of fight or flight mode. You smile more again, you laugh, you feel more like an idiot and shooting the shit with friends, and you make plans, you stick your neck out for new opportunities, new shit, a new life.

And suddenly you're living again. The world has began to move again, the movie is not paused anymore, everything is moving and its moving so fast but it's great. Because you forgot how it felt like to have stuff move and change in the direction you want to.

And you realize how much you want to see of the world. Of yourself, of your friends, of whatever the hell life can bring, and everything feels so fucking easy and normal and crazy at the same time.

It's nuts. I'm experiencing it and every week, almost, I stop down and think about it. I feel everything hit me all the once, the reality that I'm okay now, that I moved on. It's so strange that it happened so suddenly, like a boulder suddenly moved away from your path, just like that.

Sometimes I just think about everything and I feel so lucky and crazy and grateful. I cry a bit, not because I'm sad, more like out of astonishment and happiness than everything. It's a bit overwhelming at times, even though it's a good type of overwhelming, it's like all the hopes and projects and plans you haven't allowed yourself to feel for ages suddenly come back and hit you.

I'm still reeling from it, honestly. But I'm happy. And stuff is moving really fast and I couldn't be happier about it

[foxtrotziggurat]

Superheroics

Am I too old for superheroes?

They are the best of us, even though they are not amongst us. They are fables. Fiction. Fake. I still love them, though. Spider-Man especially. He's so cool. And everything I want to be. Smart, funny, charming, but also strong, kind, and resilient. But the question I should ask myself as a Spider-Man fan is, "Have any of his traits rubbed off on me at all?" I think the answer is not really. I've watched all the movies and some of the animated shows. I feel like I've only done it just for the sake of saying I did, because I have a commitment to the character.

I think the worst part about all this is that I'm 19. Almost two decades on Earth. I'm supposed to be maturing past this kind of thing. I don't know what kind of things my peers are into, but it probably isn't the capeshit that I am. I wish I could bring myself to have sophisticated and refined taste, but I can't help myself. Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, the Fantastic Four, you name it, I'm into it. And to think I should really be reading Dostoyevsky or studying Bauhaus. Could I balance both? Is that a question I should be asking? I think it boils down to me not having many creative hobbies. I used to draw web comics ands design flags. Now I mostly just play video games and shop in my free time. There's a serious difference between those two, and it's that and the end of the former two, I have something to show for my work. I gained something. And lately I just haven't been gaining that much.

So how do I stop this? Well, I'm working on a Charlie Foxtrot story now, an animated series. Creative by nature, so I have something to work toward. I love working on it. The characters are so personal to me, and I seem to have fallen in love with storytelling. And they are heroes, just not superheroes. But they get into all kinds of scenarios which is fun. Maybe I'll share some of it here. But there are other things I can do to alleviate my addiction to consuming the slop and drivel that I am so used to, and it's to simply replace my media diet with more obscure, more thoughtful, and more fulfilling things. Sun Tzu over Snapchat, if you will.

I spent time with a girl today that I really admire. She's the quiet reserved type who's into a few of the same things I am as well (superheroes, go figure). But in essence, there is very little between us. I felt like a child in her presence. I often feel this way with a lot of people, including my family. I am the youngest in a family of six, including my parents. They think I'm an old soul because I like vintage sweaters and record players, but beyond that, I am genuinely a nine-year-old. I play Fortnite, watch comic book-derived shows, text all day, and don't like doing my homework. I am ridiculously ashamed of this fact because I think it has to do with whatever is subconsciously wrong with my brain. I didn't get the childhood I wanted; is this some form of regression? I have the inner rage of a fourth grade bully. Where did that come from? How do I harness that? Should I?

The smallest change I could make is going outside. My parents give me so much shit for it, and I hate it, but they are right. I hardly leave my dorm some days. I could also stand to read some of the many books I own. I have a concept I like to use, "doing the right thing for the wrong reasons." Unloading the dishwasher not because I'm proactive and courteous, but because someone is going to bother me about it later if I haven't. And I feel that could be applied here. Read and go outside not strictly for the benefits of it, but just to shut my parents up about it. Because they are the only people that judge me for it. Implementing change will be hard, but it's the only way to grow up and grow out.

—CF

[avonne-writes]

The muscles around Gale's jaw clench. He doesn’t need to say a word. The look in his eyes tells Bucky everything.

“Shit.” Bucky says, his voice like a ghost’s. Departing his body as dread creeps down his throat, cold and slimy fear around his heart. His brain, the last to admit defeat, still tries to deny it. It's impossible. God can’t curse them with this now. Their fate can’t be this cruel. “But you haven't had one in a year.”

“I know.” Gale's nostrils flare.

“But -”

“You know I've run out of the goddamn pills.” He snaps, harsh and aggressive in a way he wouldn’t be in his right mind.

There's no denying it any longer. It can't be just a cold or the bitterness of captivity. They have to face this here, now, and somehow make it through.

Bucky lowers his voice placatingly. “I know, Buck, I know.” He squeezes Gale's hand. It’s a relief when Gale squeezes back. “But that was six months ago.”

Tucked inside his sleeve, Gale’s fingers clench around the fabric. His eyes stare at his boots, and he looks so frail and small that Bucky has to look away to compose himself. They're both at the end of their ropes.

“Better weather, more food…” Gale mutters, pulling his shoulders up in a helpless gesture. “I guess my body figured it was enough.”

Bucky strokes the back of Gale's hand with his thumb, feels Gale’s racing pulse at his wrist. “We're gonna get through this.”

Gale nods, but he stares at the far wall. After a moment, Bucky realizes that he’s holding his breath, as if to keep himself forcefully calm and grounded.

“Promise me -” He starts quietly. “- that if the guards find out, you won’t get yourself killed.”

Bucky's chest tightens. He hears the fear Gale is stomping down on with all his iron willpower. “I can’t.”

Bucky’s hand is yanked forward so suddenly and with such force that Bucky hisses. Gale fists his other hand in Bucky's shirt and snarls at him from an inch away. “Promise.”

The nasty, instinctual part of Bucky aches to fight, to force Gale to back down using his alpha nature to his advantage. But, even with all the things chipping at his sanity, Bucky doesn’t want to do that to him. It wouldn’t work anyway. Not with Gale, especially not when he's in heat.

“They won't find out.” He tells Gale, cupping his scarred cheek and giving him a firm look. “I promise I'll keep you safe.”

Last Line Tag

I've been tagged by a lot of people recently (by @anachilles today) but didn’t have anything to share at the moment. Now I do have a few lines from a new drabble in the a/b/o AU I posted about before:

"Happy birthday." Gale says with a small smile, but when Bucky reaches for his hand, he flinches.

Bucky pauses, breathes in deep, takes stock of Gale's wide pupils and the clamminess of his fingers when he touches them. He sees Gale pulling his other hand back into the sleeve of his fraying sweater, one of the few comforts he has in this wretched place. Bucky's chest goes tight. "Are you in heat?"

Tagging @hogans-heroes @caustinen and @morriganravenclaw 💕

[dragonprincequotesimadeup]

A bunch of incorrect quotes for fun

Soren: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset? Claudia: No, I said "Soren, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

Callum: Are you a cuddler? Rayla: I'm a machine of death and destruction. Callum: Rayla: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

Soren: A fistfight CAN be romantic.

Claudia: So Terry, how did your first time cooking dinner go?  Terry: Pretty good if I do say so myself.  Claudia: Oo! Okay, what are we having?  Terry: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.  Claudia: A whole potato?  Terry: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!  Claudia: These just look like big slabs of black.  Terry: Because that's what they are!  Terry: And then for desert, we have chocolate.  Claudia: These are just chocolate chips?  Terry: They sure are!  Terry: And then for drinks, we have toast!  Terry: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite! 

Terry: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

Rayla: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Callum, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Ezran, whispering: Because I have little hands. Callum: Because he has little hands.

Rayla: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Ezran. Callum: You just said it again Ezran: Rayla: I am not a role model. Soren: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products! Soren: *sprays hairspray in their mouth* Soren: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good. Rayla: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass. Ezran: *is visibly upset* Rayla: Ezran, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country. Claudia: Come on, Soren! How many times do I have to apologize? Soren: Once! Claudia: ...No.

Terry: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response. Claudia: Wow. They sound stupid.  Terry: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.  Claudia: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”  Terry: I guess you’re right. Hey Claudia, I love you.  Claudia: See! Just say that!  Terry: Holy fucking shit.  Claudia: If that flies over their head then, sorry Terry, but they're too dumb for you.  Terry: Claudia. 

Soren: I’m a fool, not an idiot.

Soren: How do Rayla and Callum usually get out of these messes? Ezran: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.

Soren, sweating: Corvus, there’s something I need to ask you- Corvus: Finally! You’re proposing! Soren: How’d you know? Corvus: Soren, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner. Corvus: I even picked it up once.

Claudia: Isn't it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

Terry: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait. Claudia: You and me! Terry: *tearing up* Ok.

Callum: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game... Rayla, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Callum: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Corvus: Please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk, if they have avocados get six. Soren, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avocados!

Soren: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from an all you can eat pizza buffet. Corvus: Why’d you get banned? Soren: Touched the rat. Corvus: … What rat? Soren: Chunky Cheese.

[nyxofdemons]

OOH OKAY OKAY. NEW OBSESSION DROPPED

i can't believe i didn't realize this sooner!! i'm back on my Blitz' Scar Speculation bullshit and this time i come bearing posts about it

so, i think it's possibly canon - or at least for now, the primarily agreed-upon fandom take - that Blitz (and Fizz) both got their scars/disabilities from an alleged circus accident; one that was likely Blitz's fault, and that's why Blitz harbors so much resentment for his past (the guilt he refuses to show or admit he carries) and why he and Fizz have so much animosity between them (among other reasons like Fizz's success and Blitz's constant failures).

when s2e1 dropped, i figured that Blitz's scars (and Fizz's as well) were going to be from Paimon, when he inevitably found out that kid Blitz had stolen all his shit and went and trashed the entire circus with them inside as revenge. (This would also explain Blitz and Fizz's hostility to one another - while it's generally agreed-upon that Blitz hates Fizz for his success and Fizz hates Blitz for being the reason he lost all his limbs - i always felt that it was kind of straining credibility in the latter? Fizz seems more... amused by Blitz than anything. he just makes fun of him and embarrasses him in front of crowds. and i know he's on a stage and has to keep up appearances, but i also feel like he's just a bit too casual to be harboring hatred over something so intensely traumatic and life-altering. if Paimon is the one who burned down the circus, then while it is technically Blitz's fault, it's so much more the fault of Blitz's dad, which would then make it completely understandable if Fizz was resentful to Blitz for what happened, but not putting the whole of the blame on him.

i also feel like this might have been set up just a little in the beginning of the episode:

the show makes a point of telling us that Blitz, even at this age, knows exactly how bad it will be if he's caught, and even argues with Cash about it after the point of Blitz helping his mother out is made. he wants to help his mama so badly and he's still deterred.

coupled with the fact that Fizz's accident was foreshadowed heavily not just in the same episode, but in the very same scene:

lends some credibility to this idea!

(it would also put into perspective the fact that Blitz and Stolas didn't see each other for twenty-five years. the way Stolas talks about it - "you could have asked to visit, you know" and "over two decades since i last saw you" - gives me the impression that Blitz did just sort of disappear on him. i highly doubt there was ever a goodbye, and there's no way Stolas could possibly know about it if Paimon is the one who gave Blitz his scars, otherwise apologizing profusely for it would have been the first thing Stolas would have done upon seeing Blitz, no matter how long it'd been.)

BUT THEN. SOMETHING ELSE OCCURED TO ME.

this photo.

they're much older in this picture (i'd peg them at about 16-17 here) than they were in e: The Circus (where i'd put them at anywhere from 6-8).

and so,,,,, what the fuck happened, then?

because Blitz doesn't have his scars, and if he was six in The Circus, and about ten years older in the photo, then he can't have seen Stolas in at least nine years before this photo was taken (because when they meet as adults it's twenty-five years after meeting as kids, and Stolas confirms they haven't seen each other since then).

so what gives? because i find it hard to believe that Paimon wouldn't have noticed all his shit got stolen for nine years, would have gone back to the circus and burned it down all that time later, and - most importantly - that if the scarring happened that recently because of Paimon, that Blitz would have been okay going back to Stolas not even ten years later - with the memory that fresh, and not only that, but having happened when he was a teenager. the perspective shift is just so different. i can't imagine kid Blitz holding a grudge the same way teen Blitz could.

all of this to say: i literally don't have an answer. i have no fucking idea what happened to Blitz and Fizz and this circus and i am SO curious to find out how this shit went down. girl what did they do to my babies

[transexualpirate]

im being so normal about this. anyways let's go to episode five aka second to last

first of, straight up, what do you MEAN "YEAR ONE"? HOW LONG ARE THEY GONNA STAY IN THIS FUCKING TRAIN HANG ON

is this happening parallel to the other siblings or does timeline travelling not count time. im asking because i want to know if klaus is still buried alive IM SO WORRIED ABOUT HIM IS HE EVER GONNA CATCH A BREAK? HE'S BEEN ABUSED BY HIS PATERNAL FIGURE, TRAINED AS A CHILD SOLDIER, HAUNTED BY GHOSTS, TORTURED, FOUGHT IN A WAR, FOUGHT ADDICTION AND HOMELESSNESS, SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE LIKE THREE OR FOUR TIMES IDK IVE LOST COUNT AND NOW HE'S BEING ESSENTIALLY TORTURED AGAIN

meanwhile five and lila are. in a fucking train

i just saw the name of the episode BACK. THE FUCK. UP. HOW LONG?

squints. is this gonna be their excuse to make lila/five a thing. it better not be.

y e a r t h r e e .

i dont like the way they're looking at each other. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING ST EACH OTHER.

they're shaving five because aidan can't grow a beard because he's not even 20 yet

are they eating rotten pig meat? wait that has a name. pig meat i mean. that's pork right

Y E A R F I V E .

NOOOOOOO DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOO DON'T CUDDLE TO SLEEP. noOOOOOO

YEAR SIX ......

KLAUUSSSSDNNNNFNFNNFNRNFNFNRN FFCUKKKKKK

"please don't leave me please don't leave me" what if i killed myself

"why is this happening to me" DUCKINGBFHH.G HELL

viktor and reginald petty fighting over the song i love viktor so much beat his ass boy

kill this old white guy. please. ive never asked you for anything before. just kill him it would be so easy

im glad they're sort of addressing viktor's trauma at least lol

reginald's car plate says hermes lol

wow lots of dead birds for some reason. were birds more affected than other animals ?

this situation is very reversed to season one when it comes to ben and viktor lol. i mean with the "my traumatized brother is accidentally and unknowingly causing the apocalypse and what im seeing and feeling cannot be trusted and i will lash out and claim my siblings just can't stand it that im finally happy"

I HATE REGINALDDDDDDDDD

i cant believe diego and luther are falling for this it's honestly sad. like im not used to cringing but it was hard holding it back just now. no offense but damn.

i can't believe luther is being the voice of reason in this............

six years five months and two days and they haven't fucked so i think we're in the clear. they're just good friends and im happy for them. i mean except for the whole stuck outside of your own timeline thing but im glad they're getting along. :)

"she's the lock and he's the key" hmmmhmfjf i deeply dislike the imagery this evoked in me.

KLAAUUUUDJHDDSSSSDBDBDNNDNDNFJFJJRJRJDNNDFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCJJJJJJJJJKKKK

GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST IM GONNA CRY

COME ON THUNDERBOLT YOU CAN DO ITTTTT

allison is kind of scary i hope she kills those guys

claire looking at her mom like :O she can do that ????

allison seeing the sort of place he visits :(

ALLISON NO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TO HELP OH NOOOOOO

the fucks a ballbuster

holy shit do not let claire in a place like this oh my god

YESSS CLAIREEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK YESH FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH im sorry claire had to see this but im also so happy it happened :)

im sorry but i don't really see diego as a family guy ngl i just don't think this is a good arc for him. but idk

oh he learned punjabi that's so cute. he knows at least three languages then i like that

I DON'T LIKE THE ROMANTIC SONG. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING A ROMANTIC SONG

"when the snow comes" YOU'LL BE OUT OF THERE WHEN THE SNOW COMES SWEETIE!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL NOT STAY THERE LONG RIGHT. RIGHT???????? RIGHT!!!!??????????

WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY ARE YOU TWO HOLDING EACH OTHER

am i the only one viscerally disgusted by this please don't do this pleasepleasepleaseplease

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is so uncomfortable im going to cry i don't even want to look at them

EEEUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGEGG

gene's hair is braided lol

i can't believe luther is being mildly competent damn

nnneeeeevvermind. forget i said anything

i think he can beat them in a fight. my money's in luther

i was right :)

monkey man wearing a g string in the cia building

"were you giving ribbons a lap dance" "kinda?"

why are their clothes so easily tearable . not that im complaining. im really not. at all

WHERE DID THE CAT COME FROM?

ouchie. that was brutal the thing with the stapler m inspired by five huh. and luther is Still wearing a g string while diego is shirtless. because of course he is. of course they are

JIGGLY TITTIES

OMG LUTHER AND DIEGO BONDING!!!!!!! RARE BUT GORGEOUS SIGHT

stop showing me five/lila and show me klaus . pplease .. .

she's his dolores this time and i hate it. like a lot. almost as much as i hate reginald. not as much but almost as much

DON'T FUCKING CALL HER LOVE EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW

BROTHER EUGHHHH

and i thought luther/allison was bad...

nOOOOOOO BAD CHOICE TELL HER TELL HER TELL HER WHY AREN'T YOU TELLING HER YOU FOUND A WAY OUT IM GOING TO CRY PLEASE TELL HER

how many times has klaus died and came back i wonder

"nobody's coming for you"

omg did he make thunderbolt corporeal or at least audible? because that's cool as fuck

"claire bear" what if i cried for three hours nonstop

"y-you came back for me"

he's sobbing and im sobbing with him

thunderbolt is my favorite character and i stand by it

lila is absolutely correct. this ISN'T real. NONE OF IT IS REAL. it's just SURVIVAL.

viktor's powers used to be blueish white now they're the color of fire....... very cool very interesting

i don't CARE that reginald was marginally decent ONCE i still hate all versions of him forever. i cannot stress enough how much i dont give a shit. i will hate him forever and ever PERIOD.

what kind of freaky ass fitting room is this ive never seen this before

why is she ecloding if ben looks normal?

OHHHH SO THATS ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS'S GUY'S ROLE

OR. JEAN'S ROLE ????? HANG ON

OKAY I WOULD LIKE AN EXPLANATION PLEASE IF POSSIBLE

she's like supernatural's shapeshifters

she? he. they¿ it. it?

WHAT IS THIS HOW THE EPISODE ENDS??? NOT COOL

SPOILERS AHEAD first impressions of s4 (aka the last season) of tua no i haven't finished the episode yet but i wanna talk

what do you MEAN there's only six episodes im going HAM

luther is a stripper now. that's great. i love that for him. i love him. not so easy now is it luther. space little boy. i love this stupid stupid man he's trying so hard

BEN WAS IN JAIL FOR SCAMMING PEOPLE OH MY GOD oh my god oh my god??????? BELOVED,

"u n c l e k l a u s"

klaus is staying with allison and claire and he's paranoid now the poor thing.... i love him so much....... he's so worried about his nephew....... babye............

he's scared of CIGARETTES now. Okay.

JEROME?????

you could pick ANY name you wanted and you landed on JEROME???????

"and i was involved in the kennedy assassination" "speak your truth"

"your faith in me is undeserving" that's the klaus i know and love now go to therapy please

they All should be in therapy, really

"he's germaphobic now. and incredibly sober"

klaus&claire is the duo i didn't know i needed but now i cant live without. look at them go. they're family.

ALLISON IS VAPING NOW?????

"STONED"? WEED PEN???? ALLISON IS THAT A WEED PEN

WHAT HAPPENED

[palettes-and-prompts]

Heyy

Love your prompts !!

Umm... I was trying to write something about parents apologizing to their child for causing them so much trauma or for leaving their child(who is now an adult) , something realistic ... and how the child can respond

A bit too much

Hope you can help!

Thanks :)

I've come up with a few pieces of dialogue for parents causing trauma and a few ways the child can respond but they are mostly the parent apologizing cause I figured you'd want to write the child's response in a way that you feel your character would respond.

1) "I'm sorry for everything I did. I know I was shitty in the past but I want to be better for you. I want us to be a family again." "I don't know if I want that."

2) "I'm trying to apologize here, can you just let me do that?" "I don't want you to apologize. I want you to be a better parent."

3) "Do you think you could ever forgive me for hurting you?"

4) "I'm sorry for everything that's happened between us but I'm still your parent and, a word of advice, maybe pick better friends?" "Your best friends are Jack Daniel's and Jim Beam, I don't think you should be giving me advice on who's a good or bad influence."

5) "Child A, I know what I did was wrong but-" "You left me and Child B on our own. No money, barely any food and bills to pay when we were kids. I had to leave school to figure out how to take care of us. Me. Not you. So you don't get to come back into our lives. We're just fine on our own."

6) "I'll admit I shouldn't have let you watch horror movies as a child but in my defense it was very funny." "Having night terrors every night for six years wasn't funny." "I didn't know that would happen!"

7) "I did it for your own good, you know? I just wanted you to see how good of a parent I could be to you." "Yeah, poisoning me so that you could take care of me was real A plus parenting, Parent A. They should give you a fucking medal."

8) "You know, I-I sort of fell apart when Parent A died. They were always better with you. I tried to be but it felt like you took care of me more times than I ever took care of you. And I'm sorry for that but I'm gonna be better for you, Child A. I promise."

9) "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. But I want to be. A-And if you just loan me a little cash then I can get back on my feet and we can-" "Get out of my apartment."

10) "I want us to be a family again." "You don't get to decide that."

11) "I'm gonna start going to meetings real soon. I promise. But I really just need some money right now. Do you think you could give me a little cash?" "Here's a hundred. Take it and don't ever come back here. I mean it. I don't ever want to see you again."

12) "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I left you guys. I'm sorry I ran off and left you with Relative A. But I'm back now. I'm ready to be your parent again." "I liked it better when you were gone. My life was good until you came back into it."

13) "I'm sorry I hurt you guys a few times." "A few times? You beat the shit out of us nearly everyday for years! I can't count how many scars we've all got, some of those wounds haven't even healed completely." "I want to change, I'm going to change." "Why don't you go change in Hell, okay? And stay the fuck out of our lives."

14) "I know I wasn't the best parent and I could have handled certain situations better, and for that I'm sorry, but you can't possibly think any of your extended family would have been any better at raising you, do you?" "I don't think so. I know so."

15) "You've always been ungrateful. I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry I put a roof over your head and kept you fed and clothed. I'm so sorry for that." "Oh, we're doing that, huh? Okay. Thank you, thank you for doing the bare minimum and still making sure you had time to physically and emotionally abuse us. You're a real gem, Parent A. A real fucking gem!"

16) "We don't have to spend holidays together if you don't want but maybe we could meet for lunches, family dinners every now and then if you want. I just—I've missed out on a lot with you. And I know this doesn't make up for it but it could be a start for us, if you want it to be."

17) "I lied to you, okay, I lied to you all the time and I'm sorry. What do you want from me?" "I want you to get the fuck out of my life. That's what I want."

18) "I thought I did a good job at raising you guys. Sorry you don't think so." "I drink to cope with memories you and Parent A gave us. Sibling A takes anti-depressants. Sibling B left the country to be away from you. And as for Sibling C, well they're resting in the hospital right now, doctors said it was some kind of overdose. But if you think you did a good job, Parent B, then lets all give Parent B a round of applause!"

19) "I'm sorry I'm trying to fix this family. God, Child A, you know just how to ruin a family dinner." "And you and Parent A know just how to ruin a family! Cheers to you guys."

20) "I'm sorry I wasn't a very good parent to you." "Pretty sure the dog took better care of me." "Let me make it up to you." "Pass. I'd rather choke than spend anymore time with you."

21) "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for all the shitty things I did but you can't get rid of me. I'm still your parent." "Only biologically."

22) "I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you but I was a good parent, I let you do whatever you want." "I wanted you to be there for me. I wanted stability, I wanted boundaries and rules. I wanted to be a normal fucking family, I didn't want to be alone in a house by myself for days on end. I wanted you there for me."

23) "I thought I was doing right, I thought I was protecting you by being so strict but I see now that all I ever did was make you feel like you weren't good enough. I'm sorry."

24) "I told you your best wasn't good enough and I thought that would make you try harder. I didn't know it would push you this far. This is my fault, I was too hard on you. I'm so sorry, Child A. Really I am."

25) "I'm sorry. I should have been there for you. Maybe if I'd raised you like I was supposed to then things wouldn't have turned out like they did."

26) "I wanted to be better for you, I wanted to stop drinking but Parent A had died and I missed them. I missed them a lot and I was angry they were gone too soon. And I took that out on you and blamed you but it wasn't your fault. It was never your fault and I am so sorry I ever told you it was. I should have been better for you."

27) "All I ever wanted was to be a better parent than my parent ever was for me. I wanted to make sure I spent time with you the way my parents didn't spend time with me. I'm sorry I pushed you into doing things you weren't really interested in. I just wanted you to be able to make something of yourself when you were older. I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you. I'm sorry."

28) "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. But I'm here now and I want to help you. Please let me help you. I promise I'll listen this time."

29) "I hurt you when you were a kid. I know that, but I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have gotten angry like that all the time and I'm sorry. But I-I've been to anger management and I'm really working on myself and you don't have to forgive me but I wanna be a good parent to you. I want to be in your life again. If you'll let me back in. It doesn't have to be right away, we can take things slow if you want."

30) "I watched you grow up through pictures. I'm sorry for that. I can't go back in time but I'd like to be in your life now. I mean, if that's something you'd want too."

[tomhollandisabae]

Request; strangely enough, nope🤭

Masterlist

Fandom; Six of Crows & Shadow and Bone

So, i'm kind of obsessed with Kaz lately and i see that tumblr lucks of some Kaz ffs, so i decided to write one...

Tell me if u want a part 2!!

You can send me your requests about Kaz here!!

Lose you to Love me- Kaz Brekker x Reader Part 1

Part 2

Summary; After a long time of Kaz ignoring you, you decide to free him from his misery... you.

warnings; angst... like i am so sorry if u cry, mistakes here and there

words; 1.7k

You hated your life. You hated yourself. You hated every little detail about you. You hated everything about you and all because of him.

You were tired of fighting for him. You were tired of waiting for a response. You were tired of crying yourself to sleep every night because of him.

Kaz.

The boy you loved but never showed you any kind of affection.

You had met him years ago, they could say that you were the oldest member of his gang. You both started of as friends. Kind of weird but yes, for a small time period you were pretty close friends. A couple years later he started distancing himself from you and you had no idea why he was doing that. Later you found out you had feelings for him, that as time was passing by, were becoming even stronger. And that was hurting you so bad, because he wouldn't pay you any attention.

When you'd be in the same room together, he would completely ignore you, like you wouldn't even exist. When you were trying to talk to him about a mission he either would answer you with a yes or no or he would just shrug you off.

He made you feel worthless, like a burden. You didn't care if he loved you back, you just wanted your best friend back.

Today you were about to execute a very dangerous mission with the others and Kaz would be attending too.

You saw him entering the Crow Club, as you were all waiting for further instructions. This mission was very crucial and you'd be risking a lot. Even your own lives. Never in all those years that you were accompanying him, had you ever attended such mission. You weren't scared though. For your insecurities, you were the bravest of all. That's why you never expected something like what happened afterwards.

As Kaz was explaining his plan, you were all listening very carefully, when towards the end he directed his word to you.

“You are not coming with us tonight.” He said in a cold manner, leaving you and all the others speechless. If only one person was supposed to execute that mission, it was you. You were the most cunning of all and everyone knew that.

“Excuse me?” You finally said, feeling the anger taking a toll on you. Kaz looked at you in shock. Never would he have thought that you would bring any kind of objection to what he was saying.

“What?” He gasped.

“I mean, why would you leave me behind? You know i'm pretty much needed on that mission.” You complained.

“My decision is final. You are not to come with us.” He said coldly.

“Yes, I am coming!” You raised your voice.

“How dare you talk to me like that.” He was losing his temper.

“I am allowed to speak as I wish! I do not owe you anything. I joined in all this shit just because I thought of you as a friend and wanted to help you. After all those things that you have put me through, I am still here and you haven't ever give me any kind of recognition, you have never talk to me in years! What the fuck did I do wrong? Where did I fail you? The only thing I did was to follow every single damn command of what you were ordering me to do.” You were really upset right now and you could clearly see his grip tightening on his cane.

He sat up from his position and approached you slowly. His tall figure stood right in front of you and you could feel his hot breath tingling your ear.

“Don’t you ever dare to speak to me again like that or I will not hesitate to kill you right away.” He whispered through gritted teeth, but for some reason you knew that he was bluffing.

He would never attempt to kill the very first person that helped him become who he is right now. The only person that ever truly cared about him and was there for him through thick and thin. Or wasn't he?

You didn't get your chance to answer back to him though, as he waved for the others to follow him as he left.

You were surrounded by every kind of emotions at that moment. Hatred, anger, sadness, love… yes, love. After everything he had done to you, you still loved him.

But you had enough! You couldn't take any of this anymore, so you decided to do the only thing that felt reasonable. Leave him. Hurt. That was the feeling that was accompanying your decision, but you had made your mind and there was no turning back.

As you rushed to your room, you packed your clothes in a back, took your weapons with you and closed that one door behind you, that had given you once hope for love, many years ago. And like that you started making your way far far away from that place which had broke you. Far away from the man that you ached for, the man that you loved.

***

When Kaz and the others returned from an- strangely enough- successful mission, he thought that he should talk to you. He had never spoke to you like that, he didn't want to. That wasn't his intention, to hurt you. He only wanted to keep you away from any kind of danger. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you. He lost too many men tonight, he couldn't have lost you too. He wasn't going to have your blood on his hands, because… he loved you.

Yes he did. He had admitted it so to himself after years of trying to deny it and push his feelings away, but he didn't last long. That was why he was pushing you away constantly. He thought of you as his weakness. You were the only person that he could ever sacrifice his life for. He would bring the world to your feet to make you happy. But he was scared too.

He couldn't bare the thought of what could’ve happen if someone was to kidnap you for leverage. He was feeling sick in the stomach of what you'd have to go through with those people.

All those thoughts were surrounding his mind as he was making his way towards your room. When he reached his destination, he hesitated. He froze at his feet. He didn't know what to tell you or how you would react seeing him in your room after all this time. But he had to man up and knock on your door. And that's what he did after he took a deep breath. However, he waited a few moments and there was no answer.

He then got worried that something bad could've happen to you and he burst the door open facing a cold- empty room.

Your belonging were gone. Your clothes, your jewels, you weapons… everything was gone. You were gone!

There on your bed he could see a white envelope with your handwriting on it. With trembling feet and hands he made his way towards it and took it in his hands.

To Kaz Brekker.

He could see his name written on the pale paper.

From Y/n.

How has he missed your name, even though it was the only thing consuming his mind every day and every night. He slowly opened the letter.

My dear Kaz,

I don't even know if you will ever read this letter, but it's worth the try. I just want to let you know that I am okay, wherever I might be. I know that you won't even care, or maybe won't even notice that i'm missing, but somewhen you cared. I know you still do, don’t ask me how i do. I can't do this anymore, Kaz. I can't keep on pretending that everything's fine, because it's not, I am not fine. I hate myself, I hate every single thing about me, because somehow that thing, me, made you disgusted. Disgusted of my existence. What did I do wrong Kaz? Where did I fail you? All I wanted was to please you and I am so sorry that I disappointed you. You were my best friend, Kaz. The only thing that matter to me and i've lost you now. I loved you Kaz, always did and will, forever. I have loved you since the day I met you. I love you so bad, that it hurts. It hurts to know that the only thing that ever brought light into my miserable life, hates me, loathes me. I am so sorry to have ruin your days, your life. That was never my intention. All I ever wanted was to show you my affection, my passion, my love. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, make you proud of me, make you see that I truly care about you. I wanted to wake up next to you every single day, to see your smile, to hear your laugh. But you never let me show you those things Kaz.

Why?

Why do you hate me so much? Have you got any idea how bad it hurts to know that you hate me, you see as a burden. Please forgive me for I have made your days miserable, for I have loved you. I hope that you have a good life from now on. Maybe even find a woman that will love you as much as I do. I wish you well, my dear Kaz. I love you. Always…

Yours, Y/n.

At the end of the letter Kaz couldn’t hold his tears in anymore. He had lost you. The only thing that was keeping him going. The only thing that he craved and loved. You!

You were gone and he had no idea where you could have been.

He had no idea that he had hurt you so much. The only thing he wanted now was to find you and hug the life out off you, while drowning in kisses.

He never had known true love. Not until he met you. The only thing that he was left with now was a broken heart. But he deserved it after what he had done to you. His one. His light. His world. His home.

His everything…

[attackonmango]

|Party of Five|Jean x Reiner x Reader x Marco x Bertholdt|Smut|

|This is a pretty long, disgusting and sexual one shot, that I wrote to The Take. It will be upward of a few thousand words, so I hope you like long, smutty chapters. Party of 5, right this way ;)|

"Go clean the showers, brat; you used them last," Levi ordered as he stopped by your room to assign your latest late-night chore. You tried your hardest not to groan out loud. It would help if you had listened to your roommate Ymir who told you to wait until morning.

"Aye, Aye, captain," you muttered, cursing him in your head as he left your shared quarters.

Heading to the supply closet, you grab two dozen handmade rags, a few buckets and a bunch of cleaning products.

The walk to the shower building wasn't far, thankfully. Though the sun has been down for a few hours, the summer air was still suffocating.

"I guess I'd rather be cleaning the showers than shovelling horse shit," you mutter as you pass by the smelly barn. You were laughing to yourself as you listen to Sasha and Connie argue, irritated due to the vile fumes that their masks couldn't protect them from.

As you make it to the showers, you hear laughter inside, and as you open the doors, it only gets louder.

You see Reiner, Jean, Bertholdt and Marco, chasing each other with towels. You watch as they pop each other with them, screaming when it came in contact with their skin.

As Jean and Bertholdt ran past you, Bertholdt popped you with a towel though he aimed for Jean. You cried out in pain, laughing due to shock. "Damn! That shit hurt." you scoffed, partially playing.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Bertholdt apologized profusely as he squinted his eyes, scratching his neck. His face flushed red as he looked at you with embarrassment.

Nodding, you raise your hands to put space between the two of you, "Just don't hit me anymore, accidental or on purpose." you laugh, and he joins in shyly.

"I'm guessing Levi set you to clean the girl's showers?" he asked, creating small talk to avoid awkward silence. He was thankful you had forgiven him so quickly.

"Yea, I'm gonna be here for a while. Not as long as you guys tho, I hear it's pretty bad in there." you laugh to yourself. That rumour has been floating around for a while since training began.

"It is; we've been here since six” Bertholdt exasperated. You both part ways, Bertholdt back on the hunt for Jean.

For the next two hours, you wipe up the wet floors, clean off the mirrors and toilets. You moped and began to clean individual showers. You made sure to make everything pristine as white, exactly how Levi likes it. You didn't want to be back down here tomorrow.

Something tells you that the boys would though, their laughter and the sounds of them running echoed of the walls. They definitely weren’t cleaning. Sometimes you'd see Jean, looking for the rag he lost hours ago. Reiner and Bertholdt rough housing like usually and Marco trying to get everyone to remain on task.

Suddenly in ran Marco, wailing as he raced from Reiner who carried a sloshing bucket of clear water. “I’m just trying to get out of here early? Whats so wrong with that?” Along with “I’m sorry, is that what you want to hear?”

You watch as Marco rans in your direction as Reiner braced himself to throw the clean water. “Hey chill out! I just wiped the floor.” You scold in protest.

Reiner shook his head, adamant that he do what he planned. “A little bit of water never hurt no body.” After that, everything went in slow motion. Marco slipped behind Y/N as the water splashed down on her.

"Yah!" You cried out as Reiner attempted to splash Marco with an entire bucket of water, but he moved out of the way as cold water pierced your skin; the boy's eyes widened as they drifted towards you. Their laughing came to a halt as they started. "Oh shit, " Reiner and Marco exclaim as they still their feet.

Plenty of the water splashed into your mouth and nose, causing you to cough it up. Hacking in front of Marco and Reiner, as your eyes pricked with tears. “Assholes.” You muttered before groaning loudly.

Reiner and Marco swallow thickly as they notice your tears of distress. Too bad they lacked sympathy, as you looked too good for them to care.

"I told you guys to fucking cool it, now I'm wet," you scold them as the shirt clung to your skin. You ran your hands through your hair as you sighed, frustration coursing through you. If looks could kill, they’d be dead because you were pissed.

You pay no attention to Jean and Bertholdt as they walk over to the girl showers, not noticing the way their eyes bulged in their sockets.

You watched as a blush crept up Marco's cheeks as he looked the other direction, refusing to make eye contact, Jean's mouth ajar, both surprise and pure happiness etched on his features.

"Hello, excuse me?" you glared as your hands landed on your hips, as one side jutted out. You turned to glare at Reiner, who grinned, staring intensely at your chest as Bertholdt turned around to avoid your gaze altogether.

Suddenly you shivered, glancing down; you notice you had a white shirt on. A wet white shirt on. "Oh shit!" You cried out, hands flying to cover your breast that we're on full display.

You couldn’t turn away because they stood around you on all sides, and someone would get a eyeful of tits. The best you could do was hiding them behind your arms and hands.

You laughed nervously, absolutely flustered, "Advert your eyes." Your face flushed as you shifted on your feet. Your heart raised as the situation set in. Reiner had exposed you while targeting Marco in front of the 4 of them while they gaped at you. Glancing around, you couldn't help but notices the pitches in their shorts.

"They look great, " Jean chuckled, raising a brow at you. He felt no shame as he drank in your figure. Jean always thought you were sexy. The way your breast filled your shirt, he noticed the way they bounced as you ran.

Reiner visibly cringed, tossing his head back with laughter. "You sound creepy, horse face." Reiner stalked towards you, his eyes flickering from your chest to your bottom lip that you had sucked between your teeth, chewing it until it had gotten red. The look in his eyes weakening your taut knees.

"And you're not?" Jean shot back at Reiner, who ignored him.

"My apologies, Y/N, that bucket was for Marco, " Reiner muttered huskily as he hooked a finger under the hem of your shirt as water dripped down your thighs, tugging harshly. The way he towered over you had you reeling.

Marco loved how plush your thighs were; though he was a gentleman, he isn't innocent. He could see himself dying happily with his head in between them. He couldn't curb the pang of jealousy that washed over him as Reiner toyed with your shirt. You were petrified and enticed as he did so.

You have always found Reiner attractive, as well as the other boys in the room. You had watched thrm grow from boys to men over tge last few years. So his proximity and gaze caused heat to pool in your pants, as you drank in his Earthy scent. His cool breath wafted across your face and the cold water he dumped on you. It didn’t help as the other peered down at you like predator ready to jump on prey. But that’s what this was, wasnt it.

Reiner's next question caused your jaw to drop, "Would you let us take you right here?" You hadn't noticed how close the boys had gotten, Jean and Reiner more so than the others. Reiner lifted his hand to cup your face, his callous hand tracing stars on your cheek.

Your eyes widened as you stared in shock, stepping back until someone pulled you into them, "I-" a hand groping your hip stole your will to speak.

"I bet she would, " Jean purred in your ear, as he pressed himself against you from behind. His clothed length rutting against your full bottom, he massaged your hips, causing your mind to race. "Don't say you haven't thought about it, love, having your brains fucked out while we use you." Jean wasn't wrong; you constantly thought of having to be under them while they ravaged your body, using up whatever they pleased. You thought of all the possibilities of dirty things they could do to you. But you never thought you’d do anything with one of them, in front of the rest of them. And you definitely didn’t think you’d be with all of them at the same time.

You find yourself absent-mindedly backing into Jean, loving the way his length prodded your butt. His fingers dig into your waist as he sensually moved his hips. "See, she's eager." Jean chuckled darkly as he reaches to grab a full fist of hair. He anchors your head, causing you to stare up at Reiner through hooded eyes. "Tell him, slut." You couldn't fight it as you were filled with desire. Usually, that word would hurt your feelings, but given the situation and opportunity at hand, it made you want more than a bit of friction.

Reiner looked down at you, his eyes soft as he waits for your answer. "It is the least you could do," your lashes flutter as you pull away from Jean enough to slip your sodden shirt off. Catering to your nerves, you covered yourself the best you could until Jean pulled your hands away.

"Definitely," Reiner muttered as his hands wander your upper body. Dropping to his knees, he guided your exposed breast into his mouth. His tongue swirled around your sensitive nipple as he tugged, nibbling slightly. You feel him grin as your breathy moans escape you, as you shuddered under their touch. Jean's palms were kneading your ass in his hands. He smirked as you crumple in him and Reiner's grasp as he mutters what he plans on doing to you.

You don't protest as Jean pulled your pants down, lifting your legs out of them. They were quickly discarded since they were no longer needed, along with your panties. His long fingers playing at your entrance.

Your hands danced around in Reiner's hair as he suckled on your bust. As you moaned softly, you tried your hardest not to push his head, but to no avail.

"Slow down, baby, " Reiner muttered as he pulled away, spit trailing from his lips to your sensitive bud, his eyes dilated as he palmed himself through his shorts. "You'll get what you want." The authority in his voice caused your core to dampen; you rub your moist thighs together to ease your desire. You nodded at him, signaling you understand.

“Atta girl,” he muttered, his thumb brushing over your cheek, wiping away water. A pout falls upon your lips as he pulled away too fast for your liking.

"Take these off, " Reiner ordered, referring to his clothes as he pinched your erect nipples, moistening them both.

"Yessir," you exasperate, shamelessly; you rush to get his shirt off, drooling as the shower lights glistened on his toned chest. As you worked on his belt, your hands shake causing Jean to laugh, you groan in agitation as you couldn’t even open his belt.

. "Help her out, man, she's struggling." his hand worked faster as he slipped in another digit inside, curling them as he hit your g spot.

Heat fills your stomach as you sigh into Reiner's chest, he pats your head, telling you it okay. “Guess I’ll do it myself.”

You sigh as his hands slip in between you, the familiar jingle of his belt causing you to clench around Jean’s finger. You feel as his hands work on his belt as you took time to revel in pleasure. Jean moved his other hand from your hip to work your clit, using your slick as a lubricant. You sank deeper into his arms while Reiner worked his belt off along with his pants.

It fell to the ground, the metal on it clinking as it hit the floor. You grin sexily as Reiner stood in all his glory. "There. Now finish," he spoke curtly. Slipping your hand into his boxers, you pull them down. Jumping as his cock sprang out, hitting your face because you were sandwiched between the two. Reiner’s dick was long and thick, his tip swollen with anticipation and his tip pink with want. You trail your fingers down his veins that were prominent on all sides, smiling as he sighed sensually, dick throbbing in your hands. Your eyes cut to Marco, who stood watching, panting slightly as his hand with hand in his pants. Bertholdt stood watching; his breathing laboured as he watched with a red face, his dick hard as well."What about those two, " you mutter as you stare into their eyes.

"Don't worry about them, " Jean spoke harshly as he pulled his clothes off his skin. "We're busy for now."

"Look at you, so interested in someone else's needs." Reiner praised once more, peppering your lips with soft kisses. "They'll get a turn. Right now, we're playing."

Jean pulls your legs, spreading them out. His hand trailed down your back as he kissed your neck, leaving love bites when he can. Jean pressed on the small of your back, asking you to arch. He leaned you down, your face in front of Reiner’s dick, who cupped your chin again, his fingers brushing against your lip as you sat on your hands and knees.

"Say ah," as he patted your face, his voice tantalizing and husky with seduction, asking you to open your mouth, you almost instantly complying. He guided his dick to and past your lips, brushing his pre-cum on your plush, full and moistened lips. Licking them, you hum with delight. Wrapping your tongue around his tip, you pull Reiner by his thighs as close as you could without choking.

You shudder as Jean aligned himself at your entrance, his tip drawing circles on your clit as you buck your hips involuntarily. Your moaning sent vibration down Reiner's length.

You grew irritated as Jean teased your hole with the swole tip of himself, you push away from Reiner, enough so you could be. “Don’t leave me hanging, Jean.” You muttered back at the brunette who glared darkly. You shiver as sly laughter fell from his lips.

A scream shot in you as Jean plunged into, slamming into your sweet spot. You couldn’t help the way Jean pushed you into Reiner, causing you to gagged around him. Your nose scrunches up as more precum slides down your throat as he throbbed on your wet muscle.

Making quick use of your throat, Reiner hips began to rock in a slow, tight motion as he fucked your face slowly, one hand on the back of your head, knotted loosely in your hair. The other is under your armpit and wrapped around your shoulder, tugging you farther from Jean.

Warm drool pools in your mouth and down your chin. It dribbled down his waist, slicking his balls, the squelching of your throat and the feel of your tongue lapping him up as you hummed on his dick as Jean teased your womanhood drove him insane, as he pulled you you closer, watching your mouth swallow him up, again and again.

"F-fuck, so good." Reiner sputtered out praise, massaging the back of your head gently with one hand. It was a miracle you could breathe because the two of them weren't giving you a chance.

Marco's hand was in his pants, pumping away slowly, chasing a nut as he watched Reiner and Jean play tug of war with you and manhandled you. Listening to you cry out and moan was enough to cause him to erupt all over his hand. You groan at the empty feeling you feel as Jean pulls out. It didn’t last long though, as you squelch and pucker around him.

Suddenly you cried out as Jean pushed into your pulsating core, stuffing you even though he hadn't bottomed out. You're hogging Y/N, Reiner," Jean growled, his hands digging into your hips, pulling your ass apart. He watched part of his long and girthy shaft reappear and disappear from inside of you. "Let up, bro."

"Fuck no," Reiner breathed out, his eyes fluttering as he sighed, followed by more praise. Jean tugged you closer to him, against Reiner's needy and robust grip, pressing on your back, fixing your arch. To him, it wasn't deep enough; your ass needs to be higher. "Keep that arch, dammit."

You body lunges back and forth as they fuck into you simultaneously. You knees weaken as the realization sets in. To them, you were a rag doll, something they could use because you’d never stop them. You enjoyed it too much.

You cried out as Jean's large and heavy hand landed on your ass with a loud smack. His hands moved from your hips to your stomach; he slammed into the rest of the way and withdrew, leaving you feeling empty. Delicious pain shot through you as he pushed up back inside you.

The wetness of your mouth and your screams sending vibration down his dick, Reiner's hips to stall as he began to shake. To know that you even had this power over him caused you to clench around Jean.

Reiner moved his hands back to your head, tightening his grip in your now tangled hair. His dick hit the back of your throat as he forcefully pushed you closer to Jean, who thrust relentlessly, his head tossed make in pleasure. Reiner emptied himself down your throat, holding you in place as he forced you to take his load. "Swallow it all, beautiful." which you had no choice but to oblige; thankfully, he tasted pretty good. Sweeter than salty.

He moved a hand to your jaw, rubbing it softly as you breathed out heavily as he pulled out of your mouth with an audible pop. "Open up," he omitted quietly, tapping your chin. He wiped the wetness of tears from your eyes as you looked up at him through wet lashes, fighting moans as Jean also got sloppy with his thrusts.

Opening your mouth, Reiner looked inside and smiled constantly. "Good job, you did so well." though he was on his knees, he leaned down to kiss you right as your much-awaited orgasm shot through you as Jean's dick rubbed against you g spot, his thumb playing with your sensitive clit, the warm pit in your stomach boiling over as you spilled out onto Jean's pulsating length.

You pulled away from Reiner and cried out as Jean pulled you close to him, pinning your hands behind your back as he fucked you through your orgasm, laying you against the cold tiles that cut through your warmth. He laid on top of your shaking figure; he laid perfectly on your arch, putting all his weight on you to hold you down. Pulling out of you, Jean came on your ass, using a hand to smear it all over you. You noticed that Bertholdt finally turned around, a concerned look on his face as he held a rag, sitting in a chair.

Finally letting you go, Jean stood up smiling as he watched you lay on the ground. Walking around you, he stands at your hand. Watching your chest heave up and down made satisfaction shoot through him. "Told you that you'd like it." Jean laughed at your dazed expression, glazed over eyes and a tired and euphoric smile on your face.

Before Jean could get into aftercare, Bertholdt swooped you up as you cried out. You were sensitive, and they were pretty rough. "Aftercare is essential. Let's clean you up, baby." Bertholdt held you close, smiling softly as you looked at him through teary eyes.

He sat back in the chair, using the damp rag to wipe away the spit that covered your face, along with the nut on your ass, and also your folds, while he told you how perfect you had been, how sexy it was to watch his friends use you while your face was in his shirt. "Can you do me a favour?"

Looking up, you nodded your head, listening to whatever Bertholdt is about to say. You would speak, but you were still coming down from your high.

"Let me taste you." Passion burns in his eyes as Bertholdt licks his lips. You couldn't say no, not to that face. You hear the other boys laugh and tease the both of you.

You hide your face in his shirt as he wraps his around you, "you don't have to, but I'd like it." he muttered so only you could hear. He was giving you an out; if today had been too much, then Bertholdt hoped to do it someday along the line.

" I want to," you say hoarsely, your throat still ached from Reiner. "Let's lay by the shower," Bertholdt instructed as he covered your named body to one of the showerheads. He positioned you so that the water would hit your upper stomach. Turning it on to the lowest setting, water gently spurts out of the faucet, spraying a warm mist over your body that ached from being slutted out by Jean and Reiner. Who knew the pairing made for a devilish dicking down.

Bertholdt brought you back to his attention as he lifted your legs over his shoulders. He scooted close enough to smell your desire. He teased your clit with a light brush of his fingers. You cry out, the feeling of want to build deeply inside you.

"Such a tease," you muttered, bucking your hand against his skimming hand. Laughing lightly at you, Bertholdt teases your clit a few times before he sucked on it. Your thigh squeeze, involuntarily but Bertholdt opened your legs up. His tongue danced around your clit, rolling it between his lips as you began to moan out, your hands resting on his head, tingling as water lightly drizzles upon your arm. Bertholt put his arms around you, massaging your tummy in his hand while his tongue rubbed your clit. He sucked on every part of your pussy, that he could.

As he began to fuck you with his tongue, he dropped a hand down to run a tight circle with his thumb on your clit. Convulsing, you bucked your hips to match the flow of his tongue, working for your orgasm. Your breath began laboured as you met eyes with the other guys.

“Such a good girl, look at the way your grinding into Bert’s face,” Marco praised as you began to hump their friend’s face while he worshiped you with his tongue.

"You look adorable when you are about to cum," Reiner teased as he chuckled at your expression. You couldn't help but chew your lip with anticipation for your release.

"I can't believe you are this slutty," Jean laughed as he fucked you with his eyes.

You began to babble, at a loss for words due to their words and Bertholdt devouring you like he hadn’t ate earlier today in the mess hall

They loved to see you so vulnerable like this; it was a side not many seen since you were a seasoned soldier. But to see you mewling around through touch was enough to drive them nuts. They often all fantasized about you, they knew that they had a mutual crush on you, which they playfully argued about but it was nothing detrimental. And now, here they are, fucking you together, and jacking off to the way your face contorted and the way your body twisted, begging for more.

“Damn, if i knew, ah, that your mouth was this good, I would’ve hopped on a lot sooner.” You breathed out, hard carding through his soft brown hair.

“You taste so damn sweet,” Bertholdt muttered, his nose nudging your pulsating clit as he dipped his tongue into your core. He groaned at the way you tasted as he spread you open, licking a bold strip down your folds.

You watch the others as they pump away with their cocks in hand. Black dots cover your vision as you feel another orgasm shoot through to, Soaking Bertholdt's chin and lips as he lapped up your orgasm, his hands massaging away at your tummy.

Curses leave your lips as you rock your hip into his mouth that attempted to swallow your soul. "Ah~ Fuck!" you cried out, tears pricking in your eyes.

"It's okay, Y/N." Marco's voice echoes through you as you shook with pleasure. Reaching for him, Marco took his hand in yours, and he used the other one to brush your tears away. "You've been doing so good, now of your turn to be pleasured." he purred in your ear as he guided you through your second orgasm.

You latch onto his lips with yours, your tongue fighting to devour each other. Marco grinned at your breathy moans that he swallowed.

As your moans came to a stop, you couldn't help but lightly push Bertholdt away from your center. You were way too sensitive, and if he could have it his way then, you'd be there in that spot, all damn night.

He laughed as he laid eyes on you, you looked fucked beyond your comprehension, and your mind was still catching up. "You tasted amazing, thank you." Bertholdt pressed his lips to yours one last time to let you taste yourself.

Humming in his mouth, you hug him. You felt thankful and were in utter bliss. You've never been fucked so good before. This was your first 5-some, and you knew this was heavily frowned upon, but these four made you feel the best you have ever felt.

Reiner handed you your shorts and his undershirt so that you could get dressed. "So," he began, both of your faces glowing red and hot. "I think I speak for the guys when I say, this was fun. If you weren't satisfied, or this isn't your thing, we don't have to do it again, but we could." Reiner trailed off as the guys mutually agreed out loud. “Shit we would be more than welcome to doing this frequently.”

"It was enjoyable, a bit too enjoyable. It seems like now we are a party of 5, causing regular sex isn't going to cut it if I can be fucked with that," you laugh as you slip your clothes on. Pressing your lip to Reiner's lips and then each boy after that.

"Reiner and Jean," you call as you break away from your kiss with Bertholdt. "Next time, maybe don't fight with each other." you giggle as they awkwardly grin with knowing smiles.

"You liked it," Jean muttered as he pulled you into him, tucking you into his side as he kisses the top of your head.

"I did, now let's finish." you admitting, grabbing your things to finish cleaning before Levi makes an appearances. You ignored the shaking of your legs until you had finished. The five of you are finally at the dorms when you collapse into Marco, who carried you back.

Like you had said, it was like a guilty pleasure. You enjoyed being around beautiful men who wanted on you hand and foot. They were amazing and the sex was great too.