#GOTTA MAKE THE WINTER SAD EASE UP

[cyberneticdryad]

i know it is like, still the beginning of fall vibes for most of us but my feral animal brain is trying to prepare for winter SO HARD

[s-4pphics]

a friend in need! (e.w.)

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SYNOPSIS: heartbreak aid during the apocalypse, you ask? 

WORD COUNT: 5k

WARNINGS: bff!ellie who’s sad, kinda perv oc who’s eager to fix that, remixed version of seattle!ellie, dina catching strays for no reason (i love her pls), wound care but erotic, SMUT AGELESS BLOGS/MINORS DNI, dubcon (nasty green), porn watching, mutual/guided masturbation, brief poochie eating, oc in denial ab her little crush, real girlhood <3, slight angst :(

A/N: the bubblegum apocalypse where no one dies or lies. #SCISSORING

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The gates of Jackson open, and relief rushes through your chest. 

Everyone is accounted for. Ellie’s accounted for. 

Weeks—or however the fuck long— of pent-up anxiety finally settles in your limbs as you sprint towards Shimmer while Jesse tends to Dina, greeting the hazel mount with coos and rustles through her fur. Baby needs a bath and a good brushing. 

Your eyes swiftly shift from her to your best friend, “Ellie, I’m so glad— “

“Can you help me down, please?” 

Creases bunch in your forehead at the strain in her tone. And then you’re met with the blood-soaked wrap that's enclosed around her jean-covered thigh. 

“Oh, shit… c’mere.” 

Ellie’s good leg swings over the saddle, and you hold her waist to ease her down into the muddy grass. Joel’s the first one to engulf her. They exchange words that you don’t catch before his reluctant arms drop to guide Shimmer back to the stocks, leaving you two alone. You can’t stop yourself from throwing your arms around her neck next, mindful of her leg. 

“I didn’t know what to think when y’all didn’t come back,” you whisper. 

When the two girls first made their departure to Seattle, the icy remains of winter had just begun to melt into the dirt beneath it, and that alone felt like ages ago. There’s mosquitoes and moths everywhere now, following wherever the sun beams. 

A strong arm wraps around your waist, and you instantly stiffen and detach from her, hands resting on her shoulders. 

Her gaze drops to the ground when you whisper, “What happened, Ellie? You okay?”

She breathes. “Peachy.” 

Your hands drop when she turns in the direction of her home, head jerking when she says, “I’m gonna shower.” 

“Dinners supposed to be really good tonight!” You exclaim with a broken smile when she takes her first hobble, “Eat with me? Consider it a celebration that you made it home safe.” 

Ellie seems to soften at your invitation, head bobbing in approval, and you smile. 

She holds her fist out to you, “See you in 20?” 

You bump your knuckles against hers with strained cheeks, “See you in 20.” 

One small, comforting smile from her, and she’s off, limping back home. 

“What’s up with them?” 

You flinch at the too close whisper from Jesse, and you shrug. “Maybe they broke up.” 

“Doubt it,” He snorts, “Dina told me it was brutal on the way back. The bastards were everywhere, she said. They’re probably still shook up.” 

“Damn… How’s she doing?” 

“Weird as hell. I think she’s sick or something,” Concern is melting off him, “She’s getting checked out now.”

“I’ll check on her later,” You face him, “Coming to dinner?” 

“Probably not. Gotta make sure Dee’s good.” He’s already walking off, trailing after his friend…? Ex? You never know what to call them. 

“See ya.” You wave awkwardly. 

Weird. 

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How do you cheer up a friend that just witnessed three dozen infected tear another small community to shreds? At least, according to Jesse. He was able to get more out of Ellie and Dina than you were, apparently. 

You don’t know how Ellie — or anyone — could experience such barbarous scenes as frequently as they do. You’ve been on patrol twice since you stumbled upon Jackson a few years back, and each venture leaves you less and less eager to see the world beyond its walls. You respect their bravery, not only for being able to dive head first into unknown territory with nothing but bullets and faith, but to also face those walking demons at every corner. 

Your closest friend is often excited to show you scavenged artifacts that she has collected, but… she’s barely spoken to you since you helped her off Shimmer. 

Her silence is uncommon, and therefore, frightening. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve had fish,” you scoff weakly, poking your carrots with your fork, “It’s good, huh?” 

Her focus shifts from the tablecloth to you. 

Silence. 

You drop your utensil, “Fuck, Ellie… dude, what happened out there? Jesse told me… that y'all got caught up— “

“Dina’s pregnant.” 

He didn’t tell you that.

Ellie’s whisper breezes past your ears so fast that you barely catch it. The canteen continues to bustle with hungry, ravaged patrons who returned from their second round of patrol. You assumed Ellie was one of them after her scattered return, but she hasn’t touched anything on her plate. Not even her carrots. Her favorite; A literal goddamn rabbit. 

No wonder she hasn’t eaten… Who could’ve with news like that? Especially considering the high she was riding before the couple left. 

“What.” 

Ellie’s head shakes with gall, and a disappointed grin plumps her cheeks. 

“Yup… Can’t wait to tell Maria.” 

Sharing the news of a new Jackson kiddo sounds like the last thing on her mind. Days before the two took off, she was squealing like a wild hyena in the wee hours of the night, gushing to you about the midnight explorations with her long-term crush. Her retellings of their first night together were vivid: filled with pent up tension and need and unfiltered lust. According to Ellie, they could’ve gotten married in a fortnight with the relationship they’d built over the years, and you believed her. Sadly. 

You were present, observant, during your teenage years. You were there when Cat kissed Ellie, when they broke up, when Ellie had recurring nightmares about Riley and was desperate for comfort from you, when Ellie fell for Dina… 

And now they’re in a pickle. A fat one. 

Hearing about Ellie’s relationship never went how you’d assume. You expected to be happy for your friend whenever she enthused about a topic that brought about such elation, but there was always something about the stories that gave you pause. Something that burned in the pit of your stomach and caused you to, frankly, fake congratulations. You’re unsure why, but hearing about Dina and Ellie’s relationship potentially being tarnished is calming that simmer inside you.

“Just when I thought…” She scoffs quietly. “Whatever. Fuck it.” 

You can’t resist and slip, “… Who’s the daddy?” And she hisses.

“Guess.” 

But you don’t have to... Fuck. 

Dina and Jesse’s relationship was… something. In adolescence, Ellie was either secretly celebrating their multitude of separations or crying to you about them getting back together. Their consistent streak of being on and off clearly got the best of them. There’s a ball of cells growing inside of your friend’s almost-girlfriend. 

“Shit… maybe it was… a misunderstanding? Doesn’t it take a couple weeks to… form in the womb or whatever?” 

You’re not the devil's advocate. Your lips clamp at Ellie’s stern glare.

“There’s no misunderstanding.” 

Your shoulders slump at the distance in her eyes. The indifference she’s exuding can’t disguise the hurt that she’s experiencing internally. Your heart aches for her, despite the excited jitters in your fingers.

“… Sorry, man.” 

“I don’t care.” 

Good, you impulsively want to say. You shove it down into the hardwood beneath your soles. Your brows furrow in annoyance, more so at yourself for not being remorseful. “Fuck off. Yes, you do, and that’s okay. It’s normal.” 

“Can we go?” 

Her request is sudden and cracked, and every inkling of pride deflates in your chest. Poor thing; How could you feel like this when she’s this scattered? Guilt replaces whatever dark fantasy you’ve conjured up in the past five minutes. 

You move to stand without objection. Fuck the carrots, “Yeah. Let’s roll— “

An instant lightbulb above your head… and it’s glowing green. Roll.

Roll!

Mischief shines in your chest and eyes when you glance around the packed space in search for, 

“TOMMY!” 

A flash of brown hair turns to meet your sprinting form. The peach he’s holding looks devine. 

“You seen ‘Gene anywhere?” 

Your grin widens at his disapproving stare.

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“Be careful with those, shit-for-brain! I’m not coming to save your ass like last time!” 

“Got it, boss!” You squeak with a polite smile, shoving the small baggie of rolled joints into your stuffed satchel. It vanishes the second Eugene slams his vault to his dirty ass man cave, “Fucking dicksucker.” You huff.

Ellie snickers from beside you. “C’mon. Be nice.” 

“No. He skimped on me last time. Toke hog.” 

The walk to your place is colder than usual, but it’s beautiful out. The moon shines from behind the dark clouds, illuminating the ivory that shields the incoming spring grass. Gorgeously cinematic; A scenery that gets the heart thumping. Aching. Yearning. 

You lead Ellie onto your porch and into your home. She removes her jacket and kicks off her boots, throwing her armor over the designated rack. Your satchel goes flying across the room until it clatters on your bed. Black tapes spill all over the mattress, and Ellie scolds you disapprovingly. 

“Again? Really?”

You smirk. Eugene’s always too blasted to punish your kleptocracy, “No one has a better porn collection than ‘Ge— “

Her jaw slacks, “Porn?! What the fuck, I thought those were the Jurassic Park— “

“They’re not…” Before pondering, “Although that’d be some crazy role play. RAAAWR— “

“You’re the fucking worst.” 

“C’mon! Look at these titles,” You skip to your bedside to snag a couple tapes, “Smoochie the Coochie… Banging my hot neighbor…” 

A boisterous laugh passes your lips, “Throbbin’ Hood: Prince of Beaves! Tell me that’s not fucking hilarious!” 

Ellie doesn’t laugh. Hasn’t laughed. Just simmers by the front door with red dusting her cheeks. How adorable! 

“Why’re you looking like that?” 

When her eyes travel over the creases between your brows and confused smile, your feet give an awkward stutter. This wasn’t the reaction you were expecting. At the very least, she should’ve cracked a smile by now. Even an insecure one. 

You peer down at the tapes in your hand and back up at her. Her posture shifted: arms wrapped protectively around her waist while she leaned on the balls of her feet, eyes inspecting the dim lights of your space. 

Another lightbulb. Not a green one. 

“Have you ever watched porn?” 

She shrugs with floundering shoulders. You chuckle. 

“It’s just for shits and giggles, Ellie. Don’t be so serious. The acting sucks and you needa good laugh.” 

You cradle the filled baggie like it holds a sacred orb and waltz towards the VCR. Your screen shifts from bright blue to the tape’s introduction screen. Naked men in speedos… Ellie plops down on the couch behind and mindlessly flicks a lighter. You reach into the baggie and toss her the fattest joint available before working the remote. 

A sigh releases… then another flicker… then a long, drawled out exhale. You grin. 

You, remote in hand, plop down next to her, “Is it good?”

“Better than last time, for sure.” You trade the remote for the joint, arm wrapped around your angled legs as you pull. Hits smooth… er. It still dries your throat. 

“Remind me to thank him.” 

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Two joints down. Two tapes completed. Three wide smiles from Ellie from the bad acting. The night’s a win in your book. 

She lazily lights another joint while you switch out the tapes. You purposely saved the best for last: apparently the only lesbian porno in that bastard’s whole cave. When’s the last time you’ve smoochied a coochie?

More importantly, when’s the last time Ellie has? Recently, you assume; She and Dina were too close to only be going on long walks in the woods. The more you smoke, the more your mind wanders where it shouldn’t. 

… Your friend is a lover. Always has been, despite her efforts of convincing you, herself — everyone — that she’s emotionally indifferent. Craves affection, both verbal and physical, like she’s deprived. She raves to you about her desires on a weekly basis, for fucks sake! Someone hug the poor girl! 

“Feeling better?” You squeak when you plant on the cushion. Ellie nods with a soft grin. 

“Thank you.” 

Your hands clap together and her body shakes from the recoil. “The night’s not over yet! I got a surprise for you! Happy Birthday!” 

“It’s not my birthday… I don’t know my birthday— “

Your smile is laced with grating sarcasm, “Wow, you really know how to kill the vibe! Just play along, goddamn!” 

You sigh when her expression flattens. 

“Ellie…”

“Yes?” 

Oh… That crackly tone did a little something. Cheering Clitorous. Alright. Okay. 

“I found a little something in ‘Gene’s special drawer— “

“Aren’t all his drawers special.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be shutting the fuck up.” 

Her red eyes widen, but she silences. 

“You know what feels really nice after a bad breakup?” 

Her middle finger digs into her dry eye, “Getting high and watching porn with the only other lesbian you know?” 

“Even better,” Your hand claps down on her jean-clad, uninjured thigh. “Getting high and watching lesbian porn with the only other lesbian you know… while getting head. A true fixer-upper.”

More silence, and your tummy gives a nervous tumble. Eugene’s bud gives you enough courage to make eye contact, and, given any other circumstance, you would’ve hollered laughter at how stunned Ellie looks, eyes nearly stretched beyond her lids, but you don’t. You press on when she denies you. 

“You’re lying.” 

“Am I?” Your thumb presses the large button in the middle and the screen displays two, three — six women… all sprawled out on white carpet while lewdness shines through their eyes… And not at all the romantic wives fingering each other next to the fireplace like you envisioned. Plus, the music sucks. Who the fuck plays the accordion while bumping cooters?

Your eyes circle around and… Oh, wow. A lot less tame than you were expecting… Are those chains and a paddle? 

What the fuck, Eugene. 

“Oh, shit.” 

Ellie’s either impressed or about to go on a judgmental rampage. You gauge her expression curiously. Her lashes keep fluttering like butterfly wings. You nearly coo audibly. She always does that when she’s excited! What a cutie! 

Ellie recites the description at the bottom of the screen, “When six girls go off into the woods for an early 4th of July getaway, conversations take a lustful… and explorative turn. Find out what happens during one late, hot evening after a game of… kiss and blow?” 

You snort, “Are you asking me?” 

“Well, yeah… The fuck is kiss and blow?” 

You shrug, “Find out.”

One click of the remote, and the footage begins… More giggles from Ellie, and something flutters in your chest. You’ll have to watch bad acting with her more often. 

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Six minutes into Smoochie the Coochie, and you still don’t know what kiss and blow is. And you don’t care to find out. 

High pitched moans and pleasured squeals that almost sound phony rings in your hazy skull as you stare up at your best friend from between her covered legs. 

This is the quietest she’s been all night: her eyes are locked on the screen behind you, completely entranced with flushed cheeks by what you assume is the sweatiest, raunchiest… scissoring, is what it’s called? On the screen. Maybe. You’re wired and can’t think straight and Ellie’s hot. 

“Are we really doing this right now?” 

She whispers when you caress her thigh over her pants, and you nod approvingly. Desperately, but she can’t tell. “Up to you.” 

You don’t expect a cold hand to come up and tenderly brush against your cheek. You shudder and nuzzle into it. Sober you would be so embarrassed at how you’re reacting to her affections. You’ve never been the needy one. 

“Can we…” 

You pout and burn with embarrassment, but start to pull back, “Stop?” 

“No, no…” Her eyes meet yours and your body locks. A bit nervous. “I dunno…” 

“Tell me.” 

“Later.” She whispers. 

You stare skeptically as she plays with your earlobe. “I promise I’m good. I want this. I’ll tell you later.” 

A pause before you sigh. “Okay. Up.” You pat her thigh and her hips rise. Her unbuttoned jeans are peeled down her legs, gently over her fresh bandage, and tossed beside you. Your body is miles ahead of your brain; before you realize, your lips smack all over her bruised thighs, peppering over the freshly bandaged scars and faded ones. She squirms where she sits, shaky breaths puffing from her lips. 

Your mouth travels higher, and an encouraging hand lands on the back of your head, massaging your scalp. 

“Tell me what’s happening.” You mumble against her, a blind finger pointing back at the screen. 

“I don’t — So much shit is going on. Like… from all directions.”  

You smile against her thigh, “Someone catch your attention?” 

“I…” 

But no explanation is needed. There’s treads of weakness in her growl. Go figure. 

“Lemme guess… She look like her?” 

If she catches the unwarranted agitation in your tone, she doesn’t mention it. Simply digs her nails into the back of your head. No forceful tugs at your hair, but a warning, and your teeth beam. 

“I dunno what the fuck you’re smiling for, but it’s gonna piss me off soon.”

There's a smidge of threat in her voice, so your kisses travel up. A pleasant distraction, given every small twitch of her legs. 

Not too long before you reach the hem of her underwear, and you trap it between your teeth before releasing it. Her tummy jolts when the fabric hits her skin, and you go heart-eyed. 

“Tell me who you’re looking at.” 

“T-The one that brought all that crazy shit to the party.” 

Of course. Handcuffs, she means. The large, wooden paddle, she means. A slow drag of your tongue advances up her v-line and her body wracks against her will. 

“Crazy in a bad way?” You purr against softness, and she exhales a laugh. “Not in this context, I guess.” 

“You like that kinda stuff?” 

“How the fuck would I know?” 

You snort before your eyes fall, trapped by the small patch of wetness that sticks to her panties. Glues the outline of her lips to the fabric. You’re seconds — inches away from going feral. 

Whatever patience you entered with has withered: and with determined hands, Ellie’s underwear gets yanked, pried down her legs and tossed behind you. Your eyes glisten with excitement when they meet the red pearl that twitches in anticipation, walls that leak when the warmth of your breath brushes over the cup of her. 

Her pussy’s perfect. A stunner, for sure. You and Cat were never close, but you’d hit her up to get Ellie tatted. Not even in a discreet place. It’d be somewhere where everyone — Dina — can see. On your forehead, for fucks sake—

S-Stop staring at me. 

It seemed like the moans behind you became louder. You nearly shove three fingers in Ellie’s mouth as punishment for interrupting the moment, but you choke on a breath. Mumble a slur of you’re cute, can’t help it in an attempt to ease her. 

And just when your tongue unravels over your bottom lip, right when Ellie’s taste is millimeters away, right when her breath hitches and her mouth drops open, the loudest crack, very reminiscent of bullets, rings across your small living room. Scares her, scares you enough to steal the attention from the art between her thighs. 

The sight on the screen is new, even for you. 

It’s not every day you see girls being slung across muscly laps and swatted on the ass with wooden tools with their hands bound behind them while they cry and sob and beg for their masters to hit them harder. You probably would’ve laughed at the theatrics if Ellie wasn’t here, as if you weren't about to go to town on her ten seconds ago. Both your breaths shudder and tremble as raunchy sounds of lips smacking and girls touching themselves and fingering each other split your ears in half. 

Your vision tunnels and shifts when a whimper from Ellie rattles through your chest and down your ribcage. She gasps like you’ve caught her doing something bad, but she doesn’t stop whatever she’s doing. Just blushes madly with her hand shoved between her squeezed legs while her eyes flicker between you and the screen. 

Time seems to whir and the room spins. The pace of your breath increases, slobbery wheezes syncing with Ellie’s when her legs cross over one another. 

Your muscles move you closer, hands planted on either side of her waist, back enlengthening until your eyes are level with hers. Her tongue barely dips to wet her bottom lip, eyes swiftly flickering down to your mouth.

A hand raises right when another crack of a paddle against skin ripples through your speakers, and before Ellie can flinch, your palm caresses her cheek, thumb exploring the divets in her face. Over the healed wounds and fiery specks that hypnotize. You don’t expect her to nuzzle into your touch… 

And you definitely don’t expect her arm to start moving, despite its enclosing. 

Her eyelids bat, and green pierces through your chest. Over your neck, your face, your shoulders as her bicep twitches. When her lips part around a gasp, you choke. 

Lemme see. 

Ellie curses under her breath, kisses your palm, and undoes the twining of her legs. Her fingers are gentle where they rest over her pussy, the bones in her hand flexing as her palm digs into her clit, folds smushed around the muscles of her thumb. 

That’s how you do it?

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, masking a smile as her head shakes. Your heart pinches. 

Show me how. 

Her head falls to the side as her cheeks sizzle. 

You first. 

You shudder, and your brain scolds. This wasn’t the plan. You were supposed to smoke, watch porn, eat pussy, and escort her home safely. 

Not the fucking plan.

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Ellie insisted that you restart Smoochie the Coochie before you undress. For ambiance, she’d said when you stood on two feet, watching as she removed her hoodie. For me? She’d whispered against your cheek, in only a tank top, when you finally positioned yourself on the cushion in front of her. Face to face, pussies almost touching, your knees to the ceiling. 

The volume of the footage has been turned down, but the acting… it’s fucking hilarious. You shouldn’t be smiling. You shouldn’t be giggling, but you are. 

Ellie moves loose strands of hair behind her ear, grin matching yours. 

“Hm?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Hm.”

Ellie, much to your shock, makes the first move. Again. 

Takes your wrist in her hand, brings your limp one up to her mouth to pepper kisses on your knuckles before pressing in between your open thighs. Your fingers are clumsy and your heart pounds against your ribcage, thighs jerking at the sticky contact of your own juices. Ellie's eyes between your legs like a hawk, leant comfortably against the pillows stacked behind her. 

Her attention encourages you. You balance on the hand that rests on the couch, grinning playfully around the fingers that sink into your mouth and glide on your tongue. Ellie shakes her head with a small smile before reaching for the lighter and last joint. Sticks the end of it between her lips, flicks the lighter twice, and ignites it. 

Every slow exhale of smoke gets rewarded with presses on your clit, your index and middle fingers tickling the sensitive area with learned precision. It pulsates under your fingertips whenever you lock eyes; her eyes are fervent with need, uncontrollably so, and it sends vibrations through your spine. 

Slower, Ellie whispers wetly when your touch becomes rushed. Too eager for her liking. She’s always hated when you rush things. Loathes your impatience. 

The moans from the film pick up again: shaky and cracked and high. They match yours when you apply just enough pressure on the spot right above your clit. Your walls constrict and slick gushes from, and Ellie curses.

When your fingers explore elsewhere, she sits up suddenly, her breath hitting your mouth when she mutters, Keep touching right there, with a tight hand around your wrist, trying to guide you back to the spot that makes your thighs quake.

I’m gonna cum if I do. There’s warning in your gasp.

Ellie puffs again before huffing a smoky breath, the scent infiltrating your senses. Your fingers almost sink inside, Wasn’t that the plan? 

Cum w-with me? 

Your voice is pleading, tone almost identical to when you would incessantly pester and follow Ellie around Jackson when you were younger. 

Ellie, watch a movie with me? 

Ellie, do a puzzle with me? 

Ellie, go on a walk with me?

Ellie! Ellie! Ellie! 

What used to be innocent invitations have swiftly shifted into something darker, and Ellie needs more. A shocked squeak leaves you when her free hand curls around the back of your neck to smash your lips together. Your hazy mind hadn’t registered Ellie’s fiery stares at your bruised lips, her head tilting in the opposite direction of yours, her nose brushing against yours whenever your fingers made a gooey noise. 

Your eyes flutter shut when her tongue sloppily glides over your bottom lip, moans quenchless where they hit Ellie’s tongue. She swallows them down until they jolt in her stomach, and shoves her hand between her thighs once more. 

Her fingers are drenched and so are yours; there’s nasty, slicked noises everywhere. From you, from Ellie, from the television that’s been forgotten by both of you. 

Ellie’s movements become desperate in a matter of seconds, no longer able to keep up the pace of your kiss. Your separated lips connect only by a thin line of saliva as Ellie gasps hit the skin of your cheek. 

Can’t wait to feel you on me. 

Your euphoria begs to peak at Ellie’s promise, your fingers massaging all the spots that send you to the stars at a desperate pace, trying to match Ellie’s. 

Cum with me, she growls like you did, Cum with me, cum with me, fuck —

Your friend’s name is a prayer on your tongue, shrouded in lust and a longing you’ve forced down to non-existence. You both succumb to pleasure in unison, the pulsing between your thighs synched with hers as she whimpers out. 

I wanna tie you up like that. Tie you up? Beat your ass raw and bloody? Whatever she's looking at, you want. You'll take without hassle. Anything for her. After one glance at the screen, 

Cumming for you, oh shit—

You wring out your high until there’s nothing left to give her, legs closing around your wrist at the aching sensitivity. Ellie’s head falls onto the arch of your knees, lathering your skin in spit-filled kisses, her soaked hand slowing between her legs. 

“Lay down.” 

“H-Hm?” 

“Lay down,” you croak. 

And she does, eyes filled with carnality. 

The porno is long forgotten when your head shoves between Ellie’s legs, the tape stuck on the starter screen while her cries of pleasure blend with the same bullshit accordion. 

You tongue her with fever, drink down all of her heartbreak that she endured while she was away from the source, mark yourself all over the terrain of her until she shatters with a cry of your name. Drenches your mouth, your tongue, your chin. Pushes you away with a cautious hand when you don’t stop. Flinches with sensitivity. 

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“Hold still.” 

You swipe the disinfecting wipe over Ellie’s wound, fresh blood leaking into the white cotton. She assembles new bandages where she sits above you, unraveling the sterile fabric for you to wrap her in.

“I’m trying!” She whines, “It still hurts.” 

“Shouldn’t have tried to ride my face— “

She flicks your forehead so hard, it thumps like a drum, and you wince before playfully biting her finger. 

She snickers and allows you to collect the last bits of blood with the last tarnished rag in your first-aid kit, snagging the bandages from her grasp. She holds down the new gauze and does as she’s told, lifting her thigh on your command as you bind her messy stitches. 

Why did you kiss them, though? 

It lasted 0.5 seconds. A quick, gentle smack meant to soothe, but your brain doesn’t see it that way. Red alarms glow in every crevice of your cerebrum, urging you to move away from your best friend. You stare at Ellie and Ellie stares back, expression no longer readable and easy-going, and you flinch away from her. 

Inviting her over for some innocent porn-watching is one thing… but kissing her without motive? Without the need to progress into something more? It stuns you more than her. You think.

“Sor — sorry — “

Ellie’s already palming at your shoulders, “It’s okay… it’s not a big deal— “

And it’s not. Why does her confirmation bloom a new ache in your chest? 

Your knees pop when you hurriedly stand, and Ellie follows, hands sliding down your arms to grab your hands. 

“Hey…”

You meet her eyes. 

“We’re good… okay? It’s nothing serious.” 

Don’t cry. You agree with a grin. One you pray she doesn’t notice cracks in its corners. She says nothing. Just caresses your cheek in unsaid thanks. Thanks for tonight. Thanks for the distraction. 

Ellie returns a smile before gathering her clothes off the floor. She dresses in silence as you watch with a sorrowful gleam. Is it selfish to ask her to stay? Would it be too much? Should you? Will you?

It’s when she’s tying her boots up that you say something. 

“I can walk you back!” 

“I got it. I’m not going straight home.” 

Ellie’s denial is calm. Gentle. Not abrasive in the slightest, but your hands quiver and heart swells, bound to burst with dejection. Where is she going? The town is sleeping. 

She leaves before you can ask with a promise of seeing you in the morning for breakfast. Nothing unfamiliar, nothing changed. 

Tears rock you to sleep, and you’re not sure why. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡

[xocontinentaldrift]

monthly report: january 2023

Wowza, I can't believe a month has already flown by. After a rough start of my kiddo getting stomach fly on New Year's Day, I spent most of the month just catching my breath and easing into the new year. It was a good call not to put too much pressure on myself.

Ironically, it was a productive month anyway, with lots of happy-making moments and accomplishments:

Revised about 1/3 of my novel

Took a lot of outdoor open air walks despite the snow and cold

Started to go out for dinner every Friday night with the family

Decluttered a lot of papers and some books

Mastered making falafel in our Instant Pot air fryer

Talked with my best friend on the phone a few times

Spent more time with my parents with my kiddo

Did a little more strength training in the mornings, experimenting with doing pushups everyday (because a few times a week makes it hard to track, it's easier for me just to do them everyday)

Bonded with our new kitty and she seems happy and well-adjusted in our home, and she is so snuggly!

Began getting to bed at a reasonable hour (before midnight is a huge accomplishment for me.)

Participated in some fashion challenges via my favorite fashion forum on Reddit

Read a lot of books

Began planning the little guy's birthday party next week, which is NOT a fun task for me, but I booked the location, put down a deposit, sent out invites, managed the RSVPs. Next up: figuring out food, transport/pickup logistics, ordering the cake, sending out reminders

Bought a nice lounge bed roll from Natural Life that makes my home so much more cheerful, funky and comfy

Paid all my bills!

Trucking along in my Duolingo French course -- I'm determined to finish the Intermediate 1 course by mid-year

However, the month had its difficulties and sticking points:

Some instances of mindless spending

Yelling a few times at my kiddo, especially when I was burned out at the beginning of the month coming off the busy holiday season

Conflict with partner over who does what in terms of house/life shit. The problem is that I feel all the work I do is never seen as the work that it is, it's just written off as "easy" and inconsequential.

Thought it got better at the end, my sleeping patterns were off, and I've begun waking up in the middle of the night. (Thanks, perimenopause!) Gotta figure something out because it really does bite into quality of life.

BORED AT WORK. Can't figure out if the responsibilities, the need for a new direction, or just the drab isolation of working from home in the middle of winter.

Inconsistent exercise when it's sub-zero temps. I mean, part of me thinks I can give myself some slack on this, but it does affect my overall sense of well-being

Having moments of feeling super, super depressed right before my period. It's not even just sad -- it's like my brain just can't feel good in any way, and I feel really despondent and hopeless in a way that doesn't feel right. Sometimes I wonder if I have PMDD. Something to think upon, I guess.

Just that general feeling of being in a hamster wheel, running furiously but with no real movement forward. Spinning my wheels. File it under "existential mid-life malaise."

So that's my roundup of January 2023. Not a bad month, I must say. I'm really looking forward to February 2023's goals and resolutions:

Keep revising my novel! I'm really making a lot of headway at the moment, maybe because I've hit a decent patch of storytelling

Getting ready for my writers group to start up again

Planning my kiddo's birthday party, it's gonna be a banger, lol

An old friend will be in town from London, so I'm looking forward to seeing her

Talking regularly on the phone with my best friend from college

More Friday night dinners as a family

Making myself get dressed in real clothes instead of being in sweats all day -- too easy to do in the winter, for sure!

Focusing my reading on books on relationships, parenting, love and marriage, and also incorporating more fiction

Cleaning out my closet once again and sending a box of clothes to ThredUp

Getting a shoe storage cabinet for my dining room

Getting to bed before midnight most nights -- ideally asleep by 11:30pm, but let's be realistic that this might not always happen

Cleaning out toiletries and makeup bag

Wearing perfume everyday -- I have a lot of scents that I need to use and use up and use out

Making an appointment to meet with a new OB-Gyn -- might delay this till March

Taking walks outside as much as I can

Going out to work at a cafe or some place like that at least once a week

Trying out 2-3 new recipes this month as a challenge. I don't care too much about being the ideal housewife, but for my own sake, I need to try some new recipes

Start re-creating an official website/social media professional presence again...which means paying off Dreamhost, ugh.

Maybe look into estimates for redoing kitchen floor

Start planning outdoor landscaping miniprojects, like planting new boxwoods on my side garden beds

Ok, that's getting a little too ambitious; I'll revise this as needed. Here's to a lovely February full of peace, inspiration, liberation and the divine feminine!

[certifiedskywalker]

How to Make the Right Decision in Five Simple Steps - Bucky Barnes

On the daily, people are thrust into situations that force them to make a choice, sometimes a series of choices. Since meeting each other, you and Bucky have struggled to decide when to speak up, when to tell your truths to the other.

WARNINGS: implied sexual intimacy

PART ONE: How to Make Small Talk in Five Simple Steps

I. Identify your end goal.

“Alright, James,” you drawled as you walked towards your home. The streets were no longer as busy, bathed in an orange sunset glow. “Tell me-”

“Not James.”

“Not James?”

Bucky shook his head, but you saw the barely-there hints of a smile on his lips. It made him look softer, as did the golden hour light. “My full name...it makes me feel...old.”

“Old!? You’re what, one hundred and ten?”

“One hundred and six,” he corrected, his blue eyes meeting your gaze for only a moment before he focused back on the path you both walked. “Plus, it’s what Raynor calls me.”

“Not Mr. Barnes?”

As you asked, teasingly bumping your shoulder into his. Though, you quickly found that to be a mistake as your right arm collided with his left. Immovable and metal, the impact knocked you to the side. Before you could even yelp in fear of falling, Bucky’s hand shot out, fingers gleaming with their dark alloy, and held you in place. When you found your footing and a degree of stability, you looked up into Bucky’s blue eyes.

They were wide with concern as he asked, “are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah, just,” you warily glanced to his gloved left hand, “I forgot.”

“Oh,” he pulled his hand away, “already?”

“It’s not every day a handsome man reveals he has a Vibratium arm.”

“Vibranium.”

“I was close,” you sighed, holding out your hand. Bucky’s brow furrowed at your waiting, open palm. As if to convey a secret message, you waggled your fingers at him.

“What is it?”

“Give me your hand,” you said sheepishly, as warmth spread across your cheeks. His face lifted with the clarity you supplied, yet he hesitated to give you his left hand. It remained fixed at his side until you pressed. “So I don’t forget, again.”

Wordlessly, Bucky nodded and relented. His gloved hand reached out to your bare one and, now knowing the limb was metal, you were not surprised by the strength of his grip. Though, as if he could sense your thoughts, Bucky’s hand went lax in yours, almost limp. That was until you gripped it tighter and pulled him along to walk again.

“So, Mr. Barnes, what-”

“Not that either,” he interrupted, his eyes meeting yours for the briefest of seconds.

“You’re no fun,” you teased before you felt a pang of regret strike in your chest like a shock. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be joking, after all you’ve told me.”

“No, I...I’m not...who I told you about, that’s who I was but he wasn’t even really me. The Winter Soldier,” Bucky’s voice dropped as he said the name and he eyed distracted passersby, “is...he’s my history. I’m trying to make up for that.”

“Reparations. The court ordered therapy.”

“It’s a start,” Bucky agreed.

His tone was serious, lined with a cold edge that made you frown. Only when you glanced up at him did you feel your worry ebb. You caught his side profile perfectly as sunlight shone between two skyscrapers. His visage was cast so wonderfully, he looked nearly ethereal. Then, as you continued to walk side by side, the light was blocked behind more grey buildings. Their shadows fell across your shoulders and the sidewalk. In that same moment, Bucky looked down at you.

“And I like that you joke, that you forgot,” he said as your breath caught. Even in the shade of the city, Bucky looked lighter. Perhaps it was the lingering bits of a smile that played on his lips. You weren’t sure. “But, uh, sorry. I keep cutting you off.”

“Oh! It’s alright,” you swallowed hard, “now I just gotta figure out what to call you.”

“By my name? Bucky?”

“I mean like a nickname,” you clarified, but Bucky’s brows were knitted once more.

“It’s kinda already my nickname.”

“But my nickname, for you,” you stressed, instinctively squeezing the hand of his that you held. You frowned when you realized he might not have felt it.

“Why do you need a special one?”

“You know, now since we’re,” you paused then, as you felt your tongue may trip on the next word and because you weren’t sure if it was even the right word. “Friends.”

A moment of silence passed between you and it took all you had to tear your eyes from Buckys. When you did, your gaze fell upon a nearby building facade that looked familiar. At the sight, your heart sank. Mid-stride you stopped and turned to face Bucky, ready to give him the news. Though, before you could, he spoke up.

“Friends?”

“Yeah, friends,” you echoed, though, in your head, your words sounded more like a question. Bucky’s expression was unreadable, only adding to your hesitation.

“Friends,” he repeated slowly as if testing the word out.

His lips curved into what you could only describe as a forced half-smile as the other half of his mouth remained fixed in a frown. It was almost as if he could not decide how he felt about the word, its power in defining whatever your joined hands and the way you looked at each other meant. You couldn’t decide either. Now that you knew Bucky, you wanted to know more, to know why he let you hold his hand and why he looked at you with such softness that you stomach fluttered so. You wanted him, or did you want the idea of him that you had in your head, the idea of Bucky that you created when you met in the waiting room?

But rather than face that indecision, you glanced to the apartment complex doors that stood still to your right. “Um, well, this is me.”

“Oh,” immediately, his hand dropped from yours. “Alright.”

You lingered a moment on the bottom step leading up to the porch. Bucky’s eyes were trained on you as if waiting for something, longing for something. Though, Bucky was too much of a gentleman to ask, to feed it. You felt it too, heard it whispered in a little voice in your head. Invite him upstairs, you fool!

“I’ll see you, same time next week?” There was a teasing tilt in his voice as he asked like he knew how much it sounded like Dr. Raynor or Dr. Briam. You, now broken out of your thoughts, smiled.

“I’ll mark the appointment in my calendar,” you said, playing along. “Or, you could text me. You do have my number, after all.”

“Maybe. I still don’t know how I feel about smartphones.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re proving that ‘old dog, new tricks’ saying right when you say that, you know.”

“I’ll see you later, Y/N,” Bucky said, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned as he turned around to walk back the way you came.

You watched him go before you climbed up the stairs to your apartment building door. As you fiddled in your pocket for the keys, you looked back in his direction. You swore that your mind was playing tricks on you. You swore that this day was long and emotionally taxing and it must have been your brain’s way of telling you it was time to rest.

But you could not shake the sight, the look in his face when you saw that Bucky Barnes had looked back too.

II. Gather information to best weigh your options.

“What’s that?”

Bucky looked up from the small notebook in his hands as you sat in the seat, your chair, beside his. “Good afternoon to you too.”

“Is it your diary?” You feigned a dramatic gasp and pressed a hand to your chest. “Are you writing about me?”

A small, breathy laugh, almost true, fell from his lips. “I wish.”

Then, it was your turn to chuckle. “I think the proper response is ‘you wish’.”

“No,” he held your gaze and you felt that Bucky was seeing through you. No, not through you but into you, into your heart and soul. “I meant I wish.”

“Well then,” you took a quick breath to replace the one Bucky’s words knocked from your lungs. “What are you writing about, Buckaroo?”

“No.”

You grinned. “What?”

“No to ‘Buckaroo’ or whatever the Hell you just said. That can’t be my nickname.”

“Worth a shot,” you sighed as you leaned back in the chair. Bucky let out an amused huff and you savored the lightness of the sound. Comfortable that the almost new nickname diffused the tension, you let your body curl into your seat. Though, your eyes quickly landed on his hands, how they rested in his lap and held tight to the small notebook. Bucky let out a trembling breath and looked back at you.

Your eyes snapped to his and you saw only a heavy glaze of seriousness in the blue. “It’s my...it’s how I’m making amends.”

“Dr. Raynor has you journaling?”

“It’s more of a list.”

“A list,” you leaned towards him, intrigued. “Of good deeds?”

Bucky’s eyes flicked from yours to your lips and back again. It was a momentary slip of his gaze, but it did not ease the trembling of your next breath.

“No,” he replied, letting his attention fall to his notebook. “A list of names...”

He trailed off and raised his head, fixing his eyes on the too-high windows of the waiting room. And, just like that, Bucky was out of your reach again. His mind was towards the glass a dozen feet above from where you both sat, lost in some fogged memory. The other day, when he told you his name, his past, and about the Winter Soldier, you asked him if he remembered what he did in his ‘living weapon’ state.

All of them, he told you; though, in that moment, you weren’t sure to who or what ‘them’ referred to. Now, you had a sinking heaviness in your gut. You did not want it to be true. You did not want this heft of knowing more if it hurt Bucky. Them, the victims. His victims.

“People that you-no, not you. People that he hurt in the past when-”

Before you could finish, Bucky looked at you. Sadness carved lines in his face like scars, all around his mouth and eyes. He suddenly appeared older and your resolve broke. You had a feeling that knowing more about the real Bucky would melt your heart, but this felt more like an ache. It was clear he felt the same pain.

“Hey,” you reached your hand out and wrapped your fingers around his forearm. “You can’t change the past, only the now. And you’re trying to do that, right?”

“I’m trying, but...it’s not...better.”

“The guilt?”

Bucky only nodded in reply, his eyes never once leaving yours.

“I mean, I don’t know what Raynor is having you do but, if this way,” you tipped your head towards his notebook, “if it isn’t working, maybe it’s time to try something else. Try to make them feel better than you do.”

“How?” You frowned at the croaking desperation in his voice. Instinctively, hoping to comfort and console, your grip tightened around Bucky’s metal wrist.

“Give closure if you can, hope to others,” you shrugged, “just be there.”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded and you saw the corner of his mouth twitch up slightly as he looked at you. “I would have never thought you’d be so wise.”

A forced laugh spilled from your lips. “It’s the therapy and the trauma.”

“We both have baggage,” Bucky sighed, letting his eyes fall to the carpeted floor of the waiting room. You let your gaze follow his and saw how near you two were to each other. Your foot was close to his and smaller in comparison.

“It’s what makes us human, right?” You nudged his foot with yours as you asked and, when you looked back at Bucky’s face, you saw his eyes on you.

“Right.”

For a moment, you saw him as you did last week: walking away from your apartment building, eyes fixed on you as he looked over his shoulder. Was he thinking of that same second glance back? Was he too overcome by the desire to know more about you as you were about him? Or was he thinking that you knew too much, that it was only a matter of time before he scared you away for good?

You wanted to ask. You wanted to know. The way he was looked at you was tortuous. Yet, all that you managed to get out was: “you didn’t text me.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you wanted to pull them back in. Bucky’s face fell and his brow furrowed, and you wanted to scream. Or cry, or both. Both would do the trick.

“I didn’t mean to-” you began but stopped when Bucky started to speak.

“I was going to but I thought-”

“James.”

In turn, you and Bucky shifted your attention to Dr. Raynor. The woman poked her head out from behind the door of her office. Her displeased expression only grew more pointed when her dark eyes fell on your hand on Bucky’s wrist. Immediately, you pulled your fingers away, as if her sharp gaze stung your skin.

“I’m ready for you,” she grumbled, before retreating into the dark of her room. You glanced back at Bucky, whose eyes remained fixed on the now open door.

“You should go,” you murmured, and your voice proved to be enough to coax Bucky’s attention towards you. “Best not to keep the Grinch waiting.”

“I wanted to, I,” Bucky let out a sharp exhale through his nose. “I will text you.”

“Sure you will,” you said, hoping that your teasing tone outshone the hurt that lingered in your chest. “I’m sure you will, Buckaroo.”

“Still no.” Bucky stood up and looked down at you. “And I will. I’ll…”

You waved a hand at him. “Just go. I was kidding anyway.”

Bucky frowned but didn’t press the matter further. Instead, he started towards the door to Raynor’s office and, this time, as he walked away, he didn’t look back.

III. Consider the consequences.

“Can I walk you home again?”

At the sound of his voice, you jumped as you walked out of Raynor and Briam’s offices. With eyes wide and mouth agape, you stared at Bucky, who you hadn’t seen in weeks. At your shocked expression, he reached up and scratched the back of his head. He was nervous.

And he should be. “Bucky?! What...where have you been?!”

“It’s a long story,” he sighed, letting his hand fall back to his side. You eyed him, unwilling to let him talk his way out of his sudden, frightening absence. It was difficult to do: Bucky was still as handsome as ever. His hair looked softer in the light of day, outside of the grey of the waiting room, and his blue eyes were brighter than the last time you saw him.

“Well, I’ve got time for you to tell it,” you said, breaking from the trance his features put you in. You crossed your arms over your chest and tried to stay stern.

“Y/N, it was a matter of national importance,” Bucky assured, a small quirk pulling up at the corner of his mouth. Though, you were unamused.

“I’ve been waiting alone...I was worried. You just...disappeared. Without a word!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to worry.” Bucky nodded and a bitter laugh slipped from your lips before you could stop it.

“You didn’t text me,” you whimpered, your sternness melting under the heated pain of missing him. “And I’m not kidding this time.”

“I know,” he whispered, his eyes falling to the sidewalk before he continued. “I know and I want to explain.”

A long, strained pause fell over you both as you loitered before the doorway, staring at each other. Before you could speak up or try to tear your eyes from Bucky’s, a man, a new client of Dr. Raynor, started up the steps. To avoid being bumped into, you stepped forwards and nearly collided with Bucky. His hand reflexively reached out, shining under the sun, and held you still, secure.

“Sorry,” you murmured, as the new client disappeared inside the office. Your eyes flicked from Buckys to his hand that lingered on your upper arm. A shock of surprise rushed through you when you fully realized he was without his gloves. You turned your gaze back to Bucky’s and studied his somber expression. “No gloves?”

“Like I said, I want to explain.”

“You wanna tell me your long story in the doorway like it’s small talk?”

“No,” Bucky soothed, sensing your anger, “I want to walk you home if you’ll let me.”

You took a long, debating breath and glanced over Bucky’s face. There was nothing but sincerity in his eyes. You had not seen them so clear before. No longer were they as fogged and distant as the windows in the waiting room. Originally, you thought learning more about him would make Bucky feel less far away, but then he left. Now that he was back, he was closer than ever.

You weren’t about to push him away.

“Okay. Tell me your story, Jimmy.”

Bucky scoffed, “Jimmy?”

“I don’t know,” you exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air. “James, Jimmy. It works, sort of. You being away threw me off my game.” You started down the stonework stairs and Bucky followed suit. As you both began to walk in the direction of your apartment, you felt as if everything was back as it should be again.

“I missed you too.”

At his words, you pressed you lips together to keep from smiling too broadly. Heat spread along your cheeks as you snuck a glance up to Bucky. His eyes were fixed on you still, watching, reading, and smiling. Really, truly smiling.

You swallowed hard and turned your eyes back to the sidewalk. “As much as I would love to hear about how much you missed me, you have a story?”

He sighed, “yes, and I have this friend…”

“Sam?” You asked, hoping you remembered the man’s name from when Bucky told you about the Falcon so long ago.

“Yeah, Sam.”

Then, he told you everything. He told you about John Walker, the shield, and the serum. He told you about a baron named Zemo and Wakanda’s Dora Milaje. He told you about the Flag Smashers and fighting for what’s right. He told you about the Wilson’s boat in Louisiana. He told you about how he didn’t want to put you in harm’s way.

“That’s why I didn’t text you,” he explained, “the Flag Smashers were using an app and their phones. They called Sarah, Sam’s sister, threatened her and her kids.”

“But they’re okay, right?”

“Yeah, they’re fine,” Bucky said with a fond glint in his eyes. “Played with the kids at the party.”

“Party?” You asked, a grin spreading along your lips. “I see how it is. You didn’t text me because I wasn’t invited to the after-party, huh?”

“No, actually, Sam wanted to fly you out.”

“What?!” You glanced at Bucky and stopped mid-stride. “He knows about me?”

“Of course. I told him about you,” Bucky smiled softly as he stopped. His hands were shoved in his jacket pockets, shoulders back and relaxed. He looked so wonderfully put together, more confident than before. “How could I not?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, bashfully flicking your eyes around the sidewalk. It was only then you realized you were outside your apartment building. It felt too soon.

“Well, I did.” Bucky stepped towards you, hands slipping out from his pockets. You eyed the hand that was his flesh, the rough skin of his palm before you met his gaze.

“Then, why didn’t you ask me? Fly me out?”

“Would you have wanted to come?”

“I…”

At your hesitance, Bucky leaned in closer. You could smell the leather of his jacket and notes of smoke. His blue eyes were searching your face and you felt another rush of warmth rise up and spread like gentle fires across your skin. The feeling stole your breath away, dulled your every thought until only Bucky remained.

“Would you have come?”

His second ask conjured an image in your mind: one of smiles and his arm around your waist, holding you to his side as party-goers danced. You saw kids and Bucky smiling as they threw fake punches at him and laughed when he played along. Then you saw his hands, both flesh and metal, cupping your face at the end of the evening. An evening like the one that surrounded you both.

In the soft light, you saw only Bucky, what you knew and didn’t know about him; but not a single regret. Not a single consequence.

“Yes,” you finally replied. “I would’ve.”

You were so close that you felt Bucky’s gentle sigh of relief against your skin. “Then I should’ve asked. Should’ve texted.”

“You said that you would,” you pointed out.

“You’re right. So, I guess I owe you one.”

“One text?” You smiled and Bucky shook his head.

“One text, one invitation,” Bucky’s eyes flicked to your lips then back up to meet your gaze. A lump formed in your throat at the sight. You glanced to the door of your apartment complex and then back to Bucky.

“So, if I invite you up, you’re obliged to accept?”

IV. Make your decision.

You made the choice to invite Bucky Barnes up to your apartment, but you did not remember how you led him to the door. Adrenaline dulled the proposal in your memory. For that, you were glad because, otherwise, you would have panicked as you and Bucky rode up to your floor in the elevator. Tension would have swallowed you whole, drowned you.

Before you knew it, you were inside your apartment.

“It’s nice in here,” Bucky mused, glancing around your small studio.

You mirrored his movements, eyed the exposed brick walls and scattered posters. What furniture you had was older and a small TV was precariously sat on a coffee table with a mess of wires behind it. Your kitchenette was untouched, but your garbage can nearly overflowed with trash from prepackaged meals.

“It’s not much to look at.”

“It’s cozier than my place,” Bucky said, turning to look at you from over his shoulder, “it looks like the guys’ apartment from that one show. Amigos?”

“Amigos?” You raised a brow at him as you shed your coat and draped it over the back of your favorite chair. “Never heard of it.”

“No, that’s not the name,” Bucky snapped his fingers, trying to magically summon the proper title. “It’s about friends, in New York. They live across the hall and go to some coffee shop all the time. And they’re all white.”

You laughed, “you mean F.R.I.E.N.D.S?”

“That’s it,” Bucky groaned, “it was on Steve’s list.”

“Steve’s list?” You walked into your small living room as you asked, settling on your couch. With practiced ease, the cushions gave in to your weight and you felt a rush of comfort soothe over your slight nervousness.

“That notebook, the one I used for my amends. It was Steve’s before,” Bucky wandered further into your apartment until he stood in your living room, stood before where you sat on the couch. “He made a list of all the things he missed. Movies, types of food, music, and TV shows. A lot of pop-culture things that I still don’t know.”

“Clearly,” you teased. Your light tone caught Bucky’s attention back to you. His blue eyes were darker in the limited sunset light that shone through your windows.

“I’d like to know more,” he pressed, “more about you.”

Your mouth went dry at his words but you managed to squeak out: “then ask.”

Bucky nodded and took a seat on the couch cushion beside you. You turned to face him, waiting for his questions and found yourself dumbstruck by the softness in his face.

“How would you describe yourself?”

A laugh slipped past your lips. It was laced with the sweet memory of the second time you and Bucky Barnes ever spoke to each other. That stupid magazine quiz. When you managed to collect yourself, you saw that Bucky wore a closed-lipped smile.

“In lifestyle quiz terms or in my own terms?”

“Up to you,” Bucky replied, throwing his left arm over the back of your couch.

“Hmm, I don’t know...maybe like a well-read owl?”

Bucky let out an amused huff. “You like to you read?”

“Sometimes. There are a few books I like,” you gestured to the somewhat sparse bookcase in the corner, “but it’s mostly just stuff online now.”

“Ever read The Hobbit?”

“That’s an oddly specific title,” you observed, unable to help the slight grin that pulled at your lips. “Why The Hobbit?”

“I know there are movies out now, a few years ago. But I read it,” Bucky took a breath, “when it first came out.”

“Wow,” you exclaimed, “that’s very hipster of you to say.”

“What do you mean?”

“There really is so much you don’t know,” you jested at his question.

“You mock me, but at least I’m not addicted to my phone.”

“Careful, you’re showing your age,” you laughed. When he failed to return your expression, your chest tightened. “What’s wrong?”

“Does that...does that make you nervous?”

“Your age? No,” you shook your head. “How good you look at a century old? Yes.”

Bucky smiled and his cheeks pinked, but his eyes fell to his lap. “But everything I told you, about me, my past, you’re not nervous? You’re not...scared?”

“No,” you replied quickly, “no, Buck, I’m not scared of you.”

Bucky didn’t respond and, for a moment, you feared that he hated that nickname too. Yet, rather than say so, he stared into your eyes with his lips slightly parted, waiting. At the sight, you felt a wonderful twisting in your gut as Bucky leaned in.

V. Assess the outcome(s).

You made the choice to invite Bucky Barnes up to your apartment, but you had no choice to make when it came to wanting him. You were stupid in believing there was any choice before. There was no decision to make. Not when Bucky already felt right.

Not when his hand, when the rough skin of his palm pressed ever-so-gently against your cheek. His thumb traced across the apple of your cheek as his fingers moved to hold your jaw. Just as they did so many tantalizing times before, Bucky’s eyes danced along your lips before he met your gaze once more. It was a silent question.

“Bucky,” you murmured, tone dripping with want.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

The one word is all he needed to hear. Bucky leaned in further, tilted your face up with his thumb and forefinger, and pressed his lips to yours. It was a careful kiss. As if he is scared that you lied, that you were scared and would pull away swiftly. When you lingered, Bucky tipped his lips away from yours and took a breath. You did the same and smiled.

“Was that your first kiss since before World War two?”

Bucky blinked and lifted his slightly hooded eyes to meet your gaze. His pupils were blown and his breathing incredibly slow as he drank in your pleased expression. He had lovely eyelashes, you noticed. They framed the lightness of his eyes so perfectly.

“Any complaints?” His voice was low and sent a shivering shudder down your spine.

“No,” you replied in a desperate breath.

Bucky smiled and leaned in again, captured your lips with his. His hand remained against your jaw with his fingertips kissing your neck. Your own hands traveled up along his broad chest to his neck. His skin was deliciously warm, a sharp contrast to the cool metal of his left hand when it found rest on your waist.

A gasp slipped out of your mouth at the sudden cold, but Bucky was quick to swallow the sound. He trailed searing, no longer careful kisses from your lips to your jaw to your neck. You were a wire made live by his touch. To keep the current, you moved your hands from his neck to his soft, short brown hair. You tugged on the strands, eliciting a muffled moan from his lips.

“Buck,” you mewled as he dragged both of his hands down to your hips and pulled you into his lap. At the sound of the nickname, his wandering touch paused and he let his lips brush along your skin. A barely-there touch.

You looked down at him, saw his kiss-swollen lips, and met his want-filled eyes. Despite the clear desire in his expression and the lust that pooled in your stomach, he seemed suddenly restrained. Worried that maybe he felt this was all too much too fast, you let your hands fall to his shoulders. He did not seem distant but his silence made you wary to continue.

“What is it?”

“I should’ve texted you sooner, doll,” he whispered, pressing his thumbs into your hips. “Wanted to the day I got your number but…”

He trailed off and, to keep him in the moment, to keep his eyes on you, you moved a hand up to Bucky’s face. “Stay out of your head and I’ll stay out of mine. Just be with me now, okay?”

He stayed quiet, watching you as you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. As you did, Bucky’s hands tightened on your hips and pulled you flush against him. You didn’t moan then, but when his fingers, both of metal and flesh, slipped under the hem of your shirt, an involuntary whine escaped you. Bucky smiled into the kiss before you trailed more down his jaw.

“Okay,” he murmured, far too smug for your liking. You pulled your lips from his skin and eyed him vexedly.

Before you could tease or provoke, Bucky craned his neck and kissed you hard. You felt his thighs shift beneath your own and, in a flash, your back was laid against the couch cushions. Bucky’s weight slightly rested on you, pressing against your body marvelously. Heat lingered in the paths of his hands as they explored still covered tracks of your skin. His lips followed suit and you melted completely into bliss.

VI. Daybreak.

Light slipped through the window and cast your bedroom in an orange sunrise glow. You weren’t entirely sure how you and Bucky ended up in your bed. Well, you did, but you were still lost in the haze that surrounded the actions of the night before. Parts of your body still tingled, electrified by Bucky’s lingering touch.

You could feel it still, a tickling that emanated from where Bucky’s skin remained pressed against yours. His arm was slung around your bare waist, warm and snug. With your head on the pillow, you turned to study Bucky’s face. Sleep looked good on him.

His eyelashes fanned out against the peaks of his cheeks, which made him look angelic. You tried to remember if you had ever seen him so at peace before. Images of the waiting room danced before your eyes. You could only recall the relief that flashed across his face when he told you about his nightmares. Though, compared to the relaxed brow and softness laid before you, that expression was far from peaceful.

Unable to help yourself, you trailed your fingertips along the length of Bucky’s forearm that was wrapped around you. Under your touch, you saw the muscles beneath the skin flex and his hold on you tightened. When you glanced back at Bucky’s face, you were met with a pair of sleepy blue eyes.

“Mornin’,” he greeted, his voice gravelly from disuse.

“Morning. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I’m a light sleeper.” As he spoke, his arm around your waist squeezed once more. Now, your side was pressed to his chest and the scruff on Bucky’s chin prickled against your skin.

“You sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” he beamed, lifting his head from your pillow. “Better than okay.”

You smiled right back at him. “No nightmares or anything?”

“Not last night,” he said lowly as he leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Didn’t have a chance to.”

You reached a hand up to his hair as Bucky trailed gentle pecks along your jaw. A hum of contentment rose up your throat as he moved against you. You trailed your fingers through his messed hair and sighed. Bucky pulled away at the sound and peered down at you.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, gently brushing your hair back with his left hand. The coolness of the Vibranium woke you up fully and you reached a hand out to grab his wrist.

“And you’re intolerable, James Buchanan Barnes.” You intertwined your fingers with his metal ones and grinned. He returned the expression as he pinned your hand against the space beside your head.

“No jokes, no teasing,” he persisted, “you’re beautiful.” He pressed a kiss to the column of your throat and you sighed a thank you.

“You are too.” Bucky pulled back just enough to meet your eyes again. “I mean, why else do you think I talked to you in the waiting room?”

A laugh rumbled up in Bucky’s chest and you felt the vibration of the sound against your own. “I thought it was because I was new.”

“Well yeah, and handsome,” you grinned. Bucky’s eyes drank in your expression and you couldn’t help but let your mind wander back to that first meeting. “You looked lonely.”

“Until you,” he murmured, echoing your words from long ago.

You nodded under his softening gaze. “Until you.”

[mackeydoodledoo]

The Fifth Lord: Chapter 6

Pairing: Alcina Dimitrescu and (Fem!Dragon)Reader [non-romantic], Bela Dimitrescu x (Fem!Dragon)Reader

Summary: Your name is Y/n Dracul; The only ‘mutant’ that doesn’t have the Cadou Parasite. You already have some sort of power that impressed Mother Miranda; you were the first known Human-Dragon Hybrid. Although you have your own house, “House Dracul”. Your ‘house’ itself is basically an unused wing of Castle Dimitrescu.

Warnings: Heartbreak, sadness, game spoilers [I’m sure everyone has watched or played Village]

A/N: So, Shit’s about to go down here!

“Three Dragon Slayers” - Yasaharu Takanashi [Play this when Y/n says: “You’re wrong Miranda.”]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you watch Heisenberg lose to Ethan Winters. You had the moment of realization that you were truly alone; The Last Lord standing. However, it didn't hit you as hard as it did when Ethan killed Alcina and her daughters. You decided to find Duke so you left, flying about until your wings got sore from the cold.

"Lord Dracul," The Duke calls out to you

You look up and see him, "Duke... I need you to give me Lady Bela's remains..."

"I’m afraid that comes at a high price my lord," he sighs, "However since you are a lord and she is your love..."

He reaches back into his carries and lugs out a Crystal Torso. You look down and notice Bela's fly squirming around.

It's Bela's scent....

You immediately reach for the torso and let it fall into you.

"Thank you Duke," you say, calmly

"What is your plan Lord Dracul?" He asks

You stop in your tracks and turn your head, your mouth visible to Duke. 

"Paying Mother Miranda a visit," you say, more sternly, "Someone's gotta pay..."

You make your way to the bridge and you set down Bela’s torso. You take off your jacket and place it around the torso. Bela’s fly peeks its hear out from your inside pocket.

“You’ll be okay,” You gently pat the fly, “You’ll be warm. Keep your body safe until I return for the both of you okay?”

The fly submerges itself into the sherpa-lined inside pocket.

“You have your body back...” You slightly smile

However, right as you stand up, you meet Ethan. Who cocks his gun at you.

“Listen,” You sigh, “If I help you get your daughter, you help me kill Miranda...”

“I-I thought you were on her side?” He asks

“Not really,” You say, looking across the bridge, “Though it was true she did spare me. But it was Dimitrescu who had raised me. I only trust her and her daughters. But with what you did- I’ll let it slide this once.”

You almost got your vengeful self get the best of you but you knew he was the only one who could wound Miranda enough for you.

“Deal,” He says

“One condition,” You add, “If I ever see you step foot into the castle again I cannot guarantee that I won’t kill you.”

He nods at your condition. The both of you walk across the bridge where you are met with some of the ghouls Miranda had reanimated to keep the both of you stalled. 

“Go forward,” You tell him, “I’ll keep these fools busy...”

You press your palm against his back and push him forward as your fists begin setting aflame. 

“I’ll meet you there!” You yell at him

“Thank you, Lord Dracul!” He says, referring to you for the first time

You smirk at his gratitude. But, you notice some ghouls beginning to reach Ethan before he could walk through Miranda’s vines. 

“Oh no you don’t!” You roar, breathing fire

It felt like grueling work when you finished off the ghouls. You manage to blast through to them however, a bunch of them guarding the entrance.

“You guys don’t know when o give up huh?” You ask them

You squat down, your feet beginning to create two circles of fire. They began growing to for around your body. You sprung your legs to give yourself a propelled launch, singeing the reanimated ghouls.

“MIRANDA!!!” You scream, your fist setting aflame once more

You used the fire emitting from your feet in an attempt to send a painful punch to Miranda’s face. However, in that attempted punch, Miranda catches it.

“I thought you were killed in the Castle” Miranda taunts you

“You were mistaken,” You growl, “I’m going to make you pay for what you did to my family...”

“‘Family’?” Miranda laughs at your comment, “You’re saying- that tall vampire woman and her three rabid children are your family?”

Both of your fists ignite and you roar. You fly over to her and again try to punch her for what she told you.

“They raised me!” You scream, “They gave me what you did not!” 

“And what is that?” She asks, still trying to taunt you, “They were nothing but pawns to my entire plan. They never loved you.”

That’s not true...

You and Miranda stop fighting and look around.

Alcina?!

Miranda punches your gut and you let out a pained grunt. You clench at your gut and stagger back.

“Agh!” You cough out blood 

You suddenly feel four different palms against your back.

We got you love.

Bela?...

Kick her ass for us!

Daniela?

Make her pay!

Cassandra?...

You smile, for the first time in hours, you smiled genuinely.

“You’re wrong Miranda,” You say, a circle of fire forms from your feet up, “They gave me the family I never had. They’ve shown me... Even as part monster, they’ve shown me love. You? You gave me nothing...”

Your eyes spark fire in their reflections once more and you launch yourself at her. Your first emits more fire than the last time. Miranda once more catches it in her palm, but she was struggling to hold it back. You could feel the shakiness in her arm as you try to punch her with more force than the last.

“This-this is betrayal!” Mother Miranda yells, trying to hold back one of your flamed fists, “I am the Black God! My power is immeasurable compared to yours! You are a weak dragon!”

You smirk, “Is that so?”

Your entire body begins setting aflame, a bigger one than you could ever emit, “Then I’ll just have to prove you wrong right now! Let’s see how much of a ‘god’ you really are shall we!?”

You yank your fist away from Miranda’s grasp. Before she could send you a punch out of fight or flight instinct, you simply catch it and hold it in a single hand. Unlike Miranda, whose arm was shaking as she tried to hold out your punch, you stand there; solid as a rock. No movement in your body what so ever.

“This cannot be!” She yells at you, “I am far more superior in power than you could ever be! This is the power I used to control all of you!!”

“Didn’t you forget?” You ask Miranda, “You didn’t experiment on me! You have no control over me!”

“Alcina and her daughter Bela do!” She tries to taunt you again

“You keep their names out of your mouth!” You snarl

You foot turns ablaze and you try to leg swoop her. She blocks your foot with slight ease and throws you back. You’re thrown into a tree trunk and you fall onto the ground; chest first. You wheeze out for air as you struggle to stand up again.

“My power is complete y/n!” She tries to intimidate you, “This is the power I will use to kill you since you no longer serve any purpose to me!”

You force yourself to stand up and you begin walking towards her, slowly and menacingly.

“Well then,” You start, smirking and setting your entire body ablaze, “I’ll use my power to fight for my family that you killed!” 

You dragon roar, breathing fire. You roll dive when Miranda uses her other clawed hand as a spear in an attempt to impale you. You breathe fire once more, setting fire to one of her arms. 

“You’ll pay for killing the people I’ve ever loved!” You scream, “The only ones who accepted me as I am; The Devil’s Dragon!”

“I should have infected you with my parasite!” She says, regretfully, “I should have had you brainwashed when I gave you a second chance!”

“You did give me a second chance, you are right about that,’“ You say, “But- it was Alcina who had raised me as I am... Bela was the one who loved me as I am... Cassandra and Daniela never saw me as a monster! Unlike you?... You used all of us! I’ll never forgive you for using them!”

Your roar was loud enough to shake the ground.

“Fire Dragon’s Art! Exploding Flame Edge!” You yell, your fire turning into spiked strings of fire, beginning at your clenched fists

You whip them around and it creates an exploding edge. You let them settle around Miranda as she begins being set ablaze. You listen to her scream in agony as she begins to crystalize. 

“You- Betrayed the lords!” She yells

“I’m the last lord standing!” You scream

She lets out one final scream in an attempt to get you however she only crystallizes. You let out a cough of smoke. You sigh in relief but clench at your stomach.

“Damnit...” You growl, noticing blood seeping through your shirt and the feeling of your shirt sticking to your body

You turn around and notice another man, his gun pointed at you. You were prepared to fight him too before Ethan grunts.

“Let her go Chris...” Ethan wheezes for air, “She helped..”

Chris places his gun back in his holster.

“Fine, we have to get you and Rose out of here,” He says, forcing Ethan to stand, “I’ve planted a bomb nearby. It shouldn’t blow the castle. I’d suggest you get back there as soon as possible because when I pull this trigger-”

Chris holds up a detonation device to show you, “This place is going to blow. But- I thought you were working for Miranda.”

“Things change when she kills the family that accepts me as I am,” You explain, “Good luck you two.”

You nod to Chris as you didn’t want to stick around to find out how the device worked. You begin flying back across the bridge to get Bela’s remains and go home. However, with one last effort, Miranda pierces and rips a small slit in your wings. Making you stagger fly a lot worse compared to when Ethan had shot a hole into the same wing tissue. Miraculously, you crash landed right in front of the torso. You immediately wrap your jacket in it and warm it as you begin running into the direction of the Castle.

“Lord Dracul!” Duke calls out for you, “Into my carriage!”

You practically dive into the back of his carriage and he begins motioning for his horse to ride back to the castle. It was a bumpy ride however, you still held onto the torso for dear life, not willing to let it go. Even though you were the one getting tossed around.

“My Lord, are you alright back there?” He asks

“As well as I can be,” You groan from the bumpy ride

“My apologies My Lord,” He says, “I didn’t want to get caught up in that explosion there.”

“Yeah, me neither,” You sigh, “Hey, how long until we’re at the castle?”

“Almost there my lord,” He answers

As you wait for him to tell you that the both of you had arrived, you peek into your inside jacket pocket. Sighing in relief when you see Bela’s fly peeking back up at you. 

“You’re safe,” You smile, tearing up, “Thank god...”

You pet its head as it tries to snuggle into your warm finger. You and the fly continue fueling each others’ comfort until you felt the carriage stop.

“We’ve arrived my lord,” Duke calls to you

Chapter 7

[swan-of-sunrise]

Civil War (Chapter Six)

Summary: Bucky’s suspicious escape from the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre and the fallout surrounding it makes (Y/N) reevaluate her opinion of the Accords.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: Last week’s chapter was really angsty and it kinda took a toll on me so here’s a sort of short filler chapter with slightly less angst! Thank you for reading, I hope you all enjoy!

Chapter Six (Previous Chapter)

While she couldn’t claim to be a spy or secret agent, (Y/N) had picked up a thing or two from hanging around so many of them over the past couple of years; she knew that Bucky would eventually need an exit once he was finished tearing through everyone in the building, and it was a safe bet to assume that the skilled assassin would choose to fly himself out of there instead of travel on foot at the risk of being apprehended. She was quick to locate the building’s stairwell, hurrying up the steps as the emergency lights and alarms continued to blare; when she reached the top floor, she flung open the door and stepped out into the dark and deserted hallway.

“God, I hope this thing works…” Mumbling under her breath, (Y/N) fiddled with the dials of the walkie talkie until she could hear the indistinct chatter of voices, only letting out a sigh of relief when she finally heard the one she needed to speak to. “Agent Ross, this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I need backup on the-”

“(Y/L/N), what the hell are you doing?!”

“Your job, it would seem! I’m on the top floor and have reason to believe that-!”

Just then, a metallic hand came out of nowhere and ripped the walkie talkie from her hands, crushing it to pieces before tossing it aside. (Y/N) acted on instinct, rolling underneath Bucky’s outstretched arm and pulling a stun disc out of her pocket; landing upright, she chucked the stun disc at his metallic arm and took advantage of the assassin’s distraction to sweep his legs out from underneath him with one of her own.

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, and you were a Sergeant in the U.S. Army during World War II!” She shouted, keenly aware that the distraction would only last a few more seconds. “You were Steve Rogers’ best friend and a Howling Commando!” Hastily backing out of the way, she watched with widened eyes as he ripped the electrified stun disc off his arm and leapt to his feet. “Bucky, I don’t believe that you bombed the U.N. but you need to stop and remember who you are!”

Bucky’s face was blank and devoid of any emotion, a far cry from the frightened man in the containment cell. He stalked towards her and while she had just enough time to duck the first punch he threw her way, she couldn’t dodge the second; the force of his fist’s impact on her jaw sent her flying back and crashing to the ground, her wrist screaming in protest as she tried and failed to break her fall. While he strode down the hallway to where she was sprawled on the floor, she hurriedly ripped all the stun discs out of her pocket and began throwing them as she crawled backwards. He avoided each and every stun disc she threw, but it bought her enough time to pick herself up off the ground and side-step his next attack; before she could land a kick or punch, though, his metal hand shot out and grabbed her by the throat, lifting her easily into the air and slamming her hard against the wall.

(Y/N)’s hands came up to uselessly clutch at the metal fingers that were digging into her skin and her legs kicked out in desperation as she struggled for air; just as her vision was beginning to darken her eyes focused on the small tear in the sleeve of his shirt and the corner of a red star it barely revealed, and in desperation she cried out, “Sol…Soldat!”

The assassin froze, and (Y/N) watched as his hardened expression shifted into confusion. His metallic hand quickly loosened and she instantly crumpled to the floor, coughing and gasping for air, unable to move or even defend herself. Bucky’s heavy footsteps faded away and with a wheezing breath, she lifted her head in time to see Steve burst through the same stairwell door she’d come through moments before.

“(Y/N)!?” He hurried to her side and dropped down, his grease-smudged face filled with pure panic as he tugged her into his arms. “Oh God, you’re bleeding…!”

Steve’s free hand came up to touch her scratched jaw but she grabbed his wrist to halt his movement, ignoring how his brow furrowed in confusion as she whispered, “G-go, Steve…Bucky’s heading for…for the helipad…”

He firmly shook his head, blue eyes already set in determination. “No, baby, I’m not leaving you.”

“Bucky needs you!” (Y/N) insisted, suppressing her wince of pain as she stared up at him with a fiery resolve; sensing the conflict within the super-soldier, she released his wrist and gently rested her hand against his cheek with a sad smile. “Go.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Steve nodded and carefully eased her back onto the ground, giving her one final look before running down the hallway after the assassin; right before he turned the corner, she closed her eyes, unwilling to watch as the love of her life chased after the deadly assassin by himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the second time in two days, (Y/N) quietly sat and allowed herself to be patched up by a kindly paramedic. Not only did she still have a ruptured eardrum, she also had a large laceration along her jaw that required five stitches, a sprained wrist that was secured in a sturdy brace and a smattering of darkening finger-shaped bruises around her neck. Others weren’t as lucky as you were, she reminded herself, sadness washing over her as she thought of all the critically injured and dead CIA agents who’d also encountered the dangerous Winter Soldier during his rampage.

Once the paramedics finished treating her wounds, she made her way back to the control room and was immediately met by a sympathetic Natasha. “Here, I got you some tea with honey; it’ll help your throat feel better.” The spy handed her a warm to-go cup before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her into the glass-walled conference room, where Tony was already seated and resting his bruised head in his hand. “Secretary Ross’s gonna be here in a few minutes, hot-shot, so please try to be on your best behavior no matter what he says to rile you up.”

(Y/N) merely nodded and took a sip of her tea, wincing in pain as she swallowed. The injuries to her throat didn’t stop her from speaking but her own conscious did; she was beginning to realize that no matter what she could say or do to convince them that Bucky was innocent, they’d never listen and even if they did, there was nothing they could do about it under the Sokovia Accords. So, she made the decision to bide her time and wait until the right moment to bring up her theory.

The three of them sat together in weary silence, the turmoil of the past two days seeming to catch up to them, until Secretary Ross barged into the conference room with his trademark sneer on his face. “You two wanna fill me in on what happened and why a civilian’s still sitting in the middle of a covert CIA control room?”

As if sensing (Y/N)’s simmering irritation, Natasha stood and moved to lean against the back of her chair, placing a calming hand on her shoulder as she replied, “Barnes escaped custody with the aid of the U.N. psychiatrist sent to evaluate him; they knocked out the power grid to the city and used it as a distraction, and (Y/N) here was already in the building for questioning. She’s one of the many who tried and failed to stop Barnes from leaving the building.”

“After taking (Y/L/N) out of commission, Barnes tried leaving in a chopper but ended up crashing it on the helipad; he, Rogers and Wilson are all missing in action.” Tony glanced over at (Y/N) before returning his gaze to the Secretary of State. “That’s all we’ve got.”

“I don’t suppose you have any idea where they are?”

“We will, GSG-9’s got the borders covered, and Recon’s flying 24/7. They’ll get a hit; we’ll handle it.”

Secretary Ross scoffed at the billionaire. “You don’t get it, Stark, it’s not yours to handle. It’s clear you can’t be objective, so I’m putting Special Ops on this.”

The spy’s hand on her shoulder flexed. “What happens when the shooting starts? What, do you kill Steve Rogers?”

“If we’re provoked,” (Y/N)’s eyes widened in horror and in her shock, she almost missed what Ross said next. “Barnes would’ve been eliminated in Romania if it wasn’t for Rogers; there are dead people who would be alive now. Feel free to check my math.”

Tony’s eyes flicked over to meet theirs, an uncomfortable look filling his gaze as he turned back to Ross. “All due respect, you’re not going to solve this with boys and bullets, Ross. You gotta let us bring them in.”

“How would that end any differently from the last time?” The Secretary of State demanded.

The billionaire’s expression hardened at Ross’ silent implications. “Because this time, I won’t be wearing loafers and a silk shirt. Seventy-two hours, guaranteed.”

“Thirty-six hours,” Ross corrected, giving them all a pointed look before turning and walking out of the conference room, calling out over his shoulder, “Barnes…Rogers…Wilson…”

“Thank you, sir!” The glass door closed and Tony slumped in his seat with an exhausted sigh as he clutched his left arm. “My left arm is numb, is that normal?”

Moving around the table, Natasha patted the billionaire on his shoulder. “You all right?”

The two Avengers continued to talk in low tones but (Y/N) couldn’t focus on what they were saying; all she could think of were Secretary Ross’ cold-blooded words and the way he’d said them without so much as a hint of remorse. What horrified her more, though, was the fact that Tony and Natasha didn’t appear to be bothered by the threat against the lives of their former teammates. This is all wrong, she thought as her vision began to blur with unshed tears, her heart sinking into her stomach while she realized that Steve’s worst fears about the Accords were materializing right before her very eyes; blinking away her tears, she looked down at her now-bare ring finger and the longer she stared, the more her anger with the two Avengers grew.

“…head downstairs to talk to T’Challa. I’ll bring (Y/N) with me, since he seems to tolerate her more than the rest of us.”

“Before you do, though, she’s gonna need to sign the Accords; I don’t want Ross looking for any excuses to arrest her so we need to do this by the books.” She looked back up as Tony and Natasha turned to her, the billionaire’s brow raised in expectation while he continued. “That okay with you, Austen?”

(Y/N) was silent for a long moment and when she finally spoke, it was with a forced calmness and a clenched jaw. “Did I ever tell you two what my new novel Bring A Folding Chair is about? It chronicles the rise and fall of second-wave feminism in America as told through the eyes of a young investigative journalist.” Getting up from her seat, she crossed her arms over her chest and began pacing. “I focus on the successes of the movement while also highlighting its failures and shortcomings, because even the most well-intended things can inadvertently end up hurting others.” (Y/N) shook her head in agitation and glanced over at the two confused Avengers. “When it came to the Accords, I knew from the moment Secretary Ross told us about them that they were wrong, but I turned a willful blind eye to the truth because I was selfish and only cared about saving my relationship with Steve. But now…now my eyes are wide open.”

“(Y/N), take it easy-”

“Do not tell me to take it easy when you just sat there and listened to Ross practically order a hit on three people – two of which are your friends – who haven’t been legally convicted of any wrongdoing!” She yelled as her sore throat ached in protest but she ignored it, all the frustration and pain that had been building up inside of her finally boiling over. “Steve was right when he said I was too idealistic; I thought the world was made up of enough good people who would keep the Accords from becoming too authoritative but unfortunately, it’s made up of cowards like us who are only looking out for our own self-interests.” Her gaze shifted from Tony’s stunned expression to Natasha, whose face remained neutral but whose eyes conveyed the pain her words had caused; she swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded before continuing. “Well, I don’t know about you two but I can’t do it anymore.”

Without another word, (Y/N) stormed out into the control room and down one of the hallways to Agent Ross’ office, her uninjured hand curled into a fist at her side as she walked; the door of the agent’s office was open and he was in deep conversation with Sharon Carter, who was tapping away on a tablet while they talked. They both looked over at her as she entered the office, and Agent Ross’ brow furrowed in concern while he took in her injuries and stony expression. “Miss (Y/L/N). Agent 13 told me that you got roughed up pretty badly earlier; are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Agent Ross. Am I free to go?” The agent raised his brow, looking more amused that surprised by her demanding question, and she gritted her teeth before continuing. “In the past forty-eight hours I’ve attended a friend’s funeral, was nearly blown up in a suspected terrorist attack, was unjustly interrogated for several continuous hours, broke off my engagement to the love of my life and was nearly killed again by a brainwashed assassin. I’m filthy, I’m injured, I’m exhausted, and I’m just one more incident away from completely losing my shit so can I please leave now?”

Sharon cast her a fleeting glance and took a step forward. “Sir, she’s already given multiple statements to our agents and…well, to be frank, the Joint Terrorism Task Force is already facing scrutiny for not stopping Barnes’ escape. The criticism will only intensify when the news outlets catch wind that we’re holding an injured, world-famous author without probable cause.” Agent Ross considered her words, and Sharon shot her a warning glance before continuing. “I’ll drive her to a nearby hotel and keep an eye on her in case Rogers tries getting into contact; based on the events of the last few hours, though, I’m not so sure that he will.”

“All right,” He finally answered, his expression softening a little as he looked back at her. “But for the time being, Miss (Y/L/N), consider yourself on the no-fly list.”

Nodding in thanks, (Y/N) glanced back at Sharon and the agent gave her a brief smile. “I’ve got a few things to wrap up here so I’ll meet you down in the parking garage in ten.” She reached into her pockets and withdrew her car keys, pressing them into her open palm with another fleeting smile. “My car’s the grey Audi parked by the stairwell.”

(Y/N) walked out of the office and down the hallway but since the mechanics were still working on fixing the elevators after the power-outage, she was forced to take the stairs all the way down to the underground parking garage. She quickly located the agent’s car and unlocked it, climbing into the passenger seat and buckling her seat-belt; now that she was finally alone, she couldn’t stop herself as she lowered her head into her hands and cried, allowing all the pent-up emotions inside of her to finally be set free. In that moment, all she wanted to do was go back to when everything was normal, back before Lagos and her constant fighting with Steve and the goddamn Accords; it wasn’t perfect, of course, but it was a hundred times better than what they were all currently going through. “I’m so sorry, Steve…”

As her sobs finally began to subside, the stairwell door opened and Sharon walked through the doorway; she took a steadying breath and wiped the last of her tears away just as the agent opened the driver-side door and got it. Sharon reached over and opened the glove-box to reveal a package of tissues, flashing her a brief and sympathetic smile as she pulled one out and blew her nose. “I tend to start feeling better after I’ve had a good cry. How ‘bout you?”

“Not really, I still feel like shit except now my eyes itch and my nose is running,” (Y/N) half-heartedly quipped, dabbing at the corners of her eyes and sighing. “So, you know any good hotels around here?”

“The Kurhotel Strӧszek’s nice and it’s not too far from here, so that’ll make Agent Ross happy. On our way, we’ll stop at a pharmacy and pick you up some first aid sup-” The ringing of Sharon’s cell phone interrupted her words and she was quick to answer it. “Agent 13 here…Steve?” (Y/N) instantly perked up and with a brief gesture for her to stay quiet, the agent switched to speakerphone. “Okay, I’m alone. What’s up?”

“We’ve figured out what’s going on,” Steve’s voice answered through the phone’s speaker and (Y/N) bit her lip to keep from making a sound at the comforting timbre. “The doctor framed Bucky for the U.N. bombing in order to find out where Hydra kept him. They created five other Winter Soldiers back in the 90’s and had them cryogenically frozen; he’s planning on waking them, says he’s doing it to see an empire fall.”

“So, you three need your gear before you can go after him.”

The super-soldier sighed. “I know that it’s a lot to ask, Sharon-”

“You’re trying to stop a squad of murderous super-soldiers from taking over the world, Rogers; if this is how I can help stop that from happening, then I’m in. I’ll send you a message when I’ve got the gear and we’ll arrange a meeting.”

“Thank you, Sharon, I owe you one. How…how’s (Y/N) doing?”

“She’s okay; lacerated jaw, sprained wrist and a whole lot of bruising, but she’s fine.” Steve breathed a deep sigh of relief that made (Y/N)’s heart warm and the agent gave her a sideways glance before continuing. “You should know that she’s refused to sign the Accords. I’ve been assigned to escort her to a hotel, where she’ll stay until she’s taken off the CIA’s no-fly list and can go back home…”

There was silence over the line and just as she began wondering if they’d somehow been disconnected, Steve quietly spoke, “I’ve already asked you for one favor but can I bother you for another?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“If I write a letter, can you make sure that it gets to (Y/N)? There’s a lot that I need to tell her and since I don’t know what’ll happen where we’re going…well, she deserves answers one way or another.”

Sharon’s eyes flicked between (Y/N)’s saddened expression and the cell phone in her hand as she nodded. “Of course, I’ll pick it up when I hand over your gear. Talk to you later, Rogers.”

Hanging up, the agent tucked the phone into her pocket and quickly started the engine, buckling up and driving at a steady speed through the parking garage and out onto the street; (Y/N) fiddled with the hem of her wrinkled shirt for a thought-filled moment before stating, “You’ve already got a plan.”

“Let’s just say that I’ve been prepared to follow through on a favor like this one for a while now,” Sharon spared her a sideways glance and focused back on the road. “But I won’t say anything else about it on the off-chance the CIA decides to question you somewhere down the line; the last thing I want is for you to be charged with aiding and abetting in the theft of government property.”

(Y/N) glanced down at her bare ring finger and thought back on Steve’s words during his phone call; she was desperate to find out what was in the letter but at the same time, she knew in her heart that she needed to hear whatever it was directly from him. The thought reminded her of their conversation about the problems within their relationship in the London hotel’s bar, the last truly calm moment they’d shared before everything went sideways…

“Whatever it is, we can work through it together. We make a damn good team, after all.”

“Of course we do, sunshine.”

There’s something I have to do before Steve and the others go after those super-soldiers, (Y/N) thought to herself, her shoulders squared in determination as she turned to glance at Sharon beside her and pondered the best way to ask the spy for a third and final favor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Russian Translation: Soldat-Soldier

A/N: Next chapter will have even less angst so yay! Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

Spotify Playlist:  https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4TsJ2TY1F2HDXhEYOfzCjY?si=b1abdaeccc4c4d21

Chapter Seven

Civil War Masterlist

Tagging: @mrs-obrien​​​​​ @lahoete​​​​​ @awkward117​ @cminr​​​​​ @natdrunk​​​​​​ @momc95​​​​​ @savedbystyle​​​​​ @miraculouscloud​ @awkwardnesshabitat​​​​​ @marinettepotterandplagg​​​​​ @khuang3​​​​​ @supersouthy​​​​​ @benakenalove​​​​​ @brooke0297​​​​​ @hufflepeople​​​​​ @becausewelie​​​​​​ @outoftheregular​​​​​ @supreme-tantrum​​​​​ @ladydmalfoy​​​​​ @mads-weasley​​​​​ @username23345​​​​​ @crist1216​​​​​ @aesthethickks​​

[harold231]

It wasn't real

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Posted: 04/30/2021

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None? Maybe a lil angst just a lel bet.

A/N: I think it might be good? Idk You let me know. But like frfr, don't just give me feedback in your mind, put it into words. Also I apparently have a thing for Bucky in a dotted apron soooo yeah.

FYI: time zone/era is open for interpretation. Bucky never became an avenger/soldat and steve isn't part of this one.

The wind that blew around you was warm and sweet with the scent of freshly bloomed flowers. Perhaps it was an act of kindness from some God trying to distract you from the cold bitterness settling into your bones. Closing your eyes you conjure the very memory that left you so desolate.

The sun snuck it's way through the curtains to illuminate the room, effectively disturbing the sleep that you always seemed to be craving. Waking up is always hassle but whenever you remember that you get to spend your day with the only person who tolerates you and you him, getting out of bed is the easiest thing. Bucky is crazy and the damn boy is never in one spot for to long and he always has something to say, but you can't imagine how boring your days would be if you guys had never met. well technically if your parents had never met.

When you were a child you parents had to move to new york for business and they decided that Brooklyn was the place to be. You had been Bucky's neighbor and the first day you guys moved in his mom had dragged him over with the most delicious angel food cake that he so proudly claimed to have made mostly on his own. He just loved cooking and baking since forever, he would tell you that he just liked experimenting with foods but you knew the truth was that the boy liked to eat and didn't have the patience to wait for his mother to come home.

Only a few years after your family had moved to Brooklyn you and Bucky had already built an unbreakable bond. You guys had found a beautiful cherry tree one day when playing tag and had deemed it to be your's and Bucky's spot. Whenever you had a bad day or needed time away from the world you guys would go to the tree and just pick cherries, in the winter time you and Bucky would lay under the tree and kick the trunk so that the snow would fall from the leaves. It was the place where at only 15 years old bucky swore he would open his own Bakery and to quote him "I'm serving my ma's food my way doll, It's gonna be the next best thing to hit New York."

You were laying on the ground with your hands crossed behind your head looking up at Bucky swinging upside down from a branch when he told you all this. You felt something you had never felt before at that moment, looking up at the wild haired boy who loved to eat, loved his family, and had the most ambition you had ever heard from kids your age. Your heart felt full and your cheeks grew warm as you looked up at the same blue eyes you had know for years now, only this time you notice the way they twinkle in the sunlight and how rosy his lips are. Now 7 years laters you and Bucky were preparing to open the very bakery he promised you he'd open. Banners were beautifully strung along the walls and cute retro china was set out, ready to be filled for opening day. There was no hesitation from you when Bucky had asked you to run the bakery with him, you were excited to spend your days with the person you hoped you would spend the rest of your life with.

At around 6:30 in the morning you had arrived at the bakery but it seemed that Bucky had beat you to it. The smell of fresh angel food cake and cocoa danced up your nose as soon as you opened the door. Closing your eyes you smiled at the memories that it brought back. Moving to the back you grabbed your Disney themed apron and placed your bag and coat in its place before scurrying over to the kitchen while trying (and failing) to tie your apron. There in all his dorkiness was Bucky wiggling around to the chordettes. He knew that you loved the 50's aesthetic so he found a way to incorporate it without going overboard, by adding little trinkets, a jukebox, and even those cute little dining tables. In fact at the moment he was wearing a ruffly red polka dotted apron as he frosted some cupcakes.

Apron tied, you were finally ready to get to work. You walked up to Bucky bumping his hip as you reached for some cupcake pans, "Whatcha doin here so early Buck, we don't open until 12" he looks at you with squinted eyes, "The hell are you doing here so early." "Woah,woah,woah completely unprovoked. I'm just saying cuz' you were the one complaining about the opening time being set at 8. Like damn." Breathing out a huff of air he wipes his forehead with a towel "I'm sorry doll, I'm just super nervous and I couldn't sleep so I came to start baking things. I already frosted the ice cream cakes and I just finished the pies, but I was thinking that maybe we needed some cupcakes too, even though we already baked so many pastries and stuff last night I'm worried it won't be enough."

Setting down the trays you move to hug Bucky from behind holding him close to you. "Buck I know we'll do great your food is too good to pass up on especially when it's free." You place a soft kiss to his shoulder " I promise you'll do great, everything you do is amazing you try your hardest at everything Buck, You've worked your butt off and made mine considerably larger to get here, don't start losing your mind on me now." A cute little laugh from Bucky lets you know that he's hearing you and he isn't so stressed anymore. "I just want this to be perfect ya know?" with your head still against his back you nod, "I just want it to be a special day for my special girl."

You couldn't stop the slight blush that rose to your cheeks or the way that your heart suddenly started beating three times faster. You had also wanted to make him something special which is why you had got here so early. Finally releasing your hold on Bucky you straighten your apron out before gathering everything you need for some red velvet cupcakes. Bucky loved your red velvet cake so you loved making it for him. After hours of mixing, baking, and frosting had passed, you guys were rewarded with a bakery that looked as great as it smelled. "Alright doll, I'm heading out, I gotta go get ready. Meet you back here at 12 , Love ya." He didn't even give you a chance to answer as he ran right out the door. "Love you too."

You had stayed behind just a little while longer as you perfected your secret project. Carefully you added snowflakes to some of the cupcakes because you knew how much he loved snow even if he hated winter, some cats, flowers that reminded you of bucky, and one extra special cupcake. When you finish you decide to clean up a bit more and prepare some drinks for later before heading home to get ready. As soon as you got home you took a shower and did the simplest of make up with a light pink lip. You had decided to wear a dress to match the blossoming flowers that spring had brought. Pink with a yellow lace trim and flowers embroided all over the dress, matching it with some yellow flats.

You had decided that it was a perfect day for a walk so you grabbed a light scarf and slung it over your shoulders, grabbed Bucky's cupcakes, and headed over to the bakery. You felt as if a Hundred pounds had been lifted from your shoulders knowing that Bucky had felt the same way about you. You had decided that you would tell him today with your special cupcakes. As you rounded the corner you felt giddy and you couldn't wipe the smile from your face no matter how hard you tried. As you reached the bakery you saw that a majority of the people had already arrived and you knew that it would put Bucky at ease to see all the people enjoying his food. You stopped at the window, closing your eyes to take a deep breath to prepare yourself to join the celebration.

Opening your eyes you reached for the handle only to stop at the sight on the other side of the door. Bucky stood there arms wrapped around a woman eyes locked on hers as he leaned in for a kiss. It must have all happened in about 30 seconds but it felt as if time himself had slowed it down for you to watch the way he tilted her head and ran his tongue along her bottom lip before finally uniting their lips. Your heart dropped as quickly as your smile did and suddenly you felt so stupid for thinking this could be real. You willed yourself not to cry as you allowed your legs to carry you anywhere but there.

That's how you found yourself sitting underneath a blossoming cherry tree. A tree that held only happy memories because it wasn't a place you could be sad... back then. With your back against the tree and box of cupcakes full of unrequited love in your lap you realize how much you over romanticized Bucky. Opening the box you decide it would be a shame to let them go to waste. The first one you grab has a big red heart frosted in the middle, you let out a deep sigh before breaking the cupcake right down the middle. You shove half of the cupcake into your mouth and only then do you allow the tears to fall. You sat there for hours crying eating cupcakes, watching the sunset, and thinking about everything that Bucky did for you, as a friend. You realize you had no right to be angry at Bucky, after all you never told him how you felt you just assumed that he would feel the same way after so many years. With every broken memory another cupcake vanished.

He was always there for you, when no one wanted to come to your slumber party Bucky did and he even did all the girly things with you. Painting your nails, doing your hair, watching chick flicks, and pillow fights. once he even asserted that no one could protect you as well as he could, when you had decided to go camping with your friend from class so he insisted on taking you himself. Your friend was most noticeably gay so you had assumed he wanted to spend time alone with you. But now that you think back on those memories these are things that anyone would do for their bestfriend. And that's what you realized 8 hours and 11 cupcakes later.

The moon floated above you and as it's white rays settled upon the lake you decided it might be time to go home now. You get up and dust your dress off before leaning down to grab the mostly empty box. Turning around you are stopped again by what's in front of you. Bucky stands there brows furrowed as his eyes flash from you to the box in your hands. "Where the hell have you been, I've been calling you all day." swallowing the lump in your throat you go to answer but are interrupted. " everyone's been asking me about you all night and I had no damn idea what to tell them, but apparently you were just out here being inconsiderate. You go and tell me I can do great tonight, that you'd be there for me, but you weren't." You try to answer him but are again interrupted. "You could have told me something earlier instead of leaving me there like a dumb-" "SHUT UP!" this time it was your turn to interrupt him.

Taking a deep breath you look into his eyes before explaining. "Of course I was ready to be there today, you think I wore this dress to sit under a damn tree? Well I didn't. When I left my apartment I was ready and I was excited, so excited. I couldn't even stop smiling on my way over, but then I got to the shop and I saw-" Immediately you stopped as you realized what you were about to say. He cocked an eyebrow and shook his head slightly as if to say 'Hello?' "You saw what? What did you see that would make you abandon ship just like that?" Shame flushed through your being and you could no longer keep eye contact. "Nothing, you know what, it doesn't even matter. I'm sorry I was being dramatic I should have been an adult and dealt with it on my own time. And I'm sorry I abandoned you all, but the night was about you anyways."

"The night was supposed to be about the both of us so it does matter if you saw something that made you want to leave. Just tell me doll, what did you see?" his voice is soft as he pleads with you. "I saw... well I saw you kissing that lady and I just wanted get away and ended up here okay!?" You said it all in a jumble hoping that he wouldn't be able to understand what you had said. But luck wasn't your friend so of course he did. "So seeing me kiss another person was so gross to you that you had to run away, what the hell? are you 13 again?" You hadn't admitted it outloud yet and it seemed that the dumbass in front of you was going to force it out of you.

Stepping around Bucky you pull your scarf tight around your body as you focus on not crying anymore until you get home. You distract yourself by thinking of all the love you saw in all the little things Bucky did for you. Dancing around the newly furnished bakery body against body as frank sinatra brought you heart to heart, watching rom-coms and ugly crying together, but by the time you get home you force yourself to face the ugly truth. The Love was always in your head. It wasn't real.

A new wave of tears blurred your vision as teardrops fell perfectly to the ground. "It's because I have feelings for you Bucky, and I now know you don't feel the same way." Sniffling you don't bother looking up because your heart is to broken for that right now. "I'm Just gonna need a little bit of time and I'll be back good as new like nothing even happened." Still unable to lift your gaze from the ground you decide to focus on the last cupcake left in the box. 'I Love You' is written in tiny light blue frosting letters. "I uhm, uhh." That brought your attention to Bucky, as embarrassment pulsed as strong as ever through your veins. " You don't have to say anything Buck, It's fine, I'll see you next week, on monday" you hand him the box as you go to pass him "I think you would have a better use for this than me I ate 11 others already so."

Divider credits: @firefly-graphics

[avengers-age-of-fanfics]

just for you, honeybee (5/?)

pairing: steve rogers x reader (platonic), bucky barnes x reader

warnings: grief, sadness, CA:TFA

words: 2,074

authors note: I am so sorry for posting this late, been a crazy few days! anywho, part 5! slowly working our way into The Avengers & The Winter Soldier. not sure how i'll write the avengers yet but i'll figure something out! thank u for being patient!

Your whole body felt so heavy.

Everything hurt and even with your soft breathing, it was as if all the muscles in your body were screaming at you to stop. Sounds of people cheering were heard but you tried to tune it out, your brain barely able to comprehend why your body hurt so much.

After telling yourself to try to at least open your eyes, you did, and it was so bright. Your eyes fluttered closed once more as you groaned at the light, trying to adjust. Listening to the sound once more, you heard a specific tune – Harry James’ Maria Elena – play on a radio.

You groaned, opening your eyes again as the song continued, hearing Harry’s voice, “Maria Elena, you’re the answer to a prayer…”

God, James loved this song.

Becoming used to the light, you tensed your toes, your legs, your arms, all the way up to your teeth, then untensing. It felt weird, being alive. Wait…were you alive? Maybe?

Before you decided to lay in your cot any longer, you sat up, glancing at your clothes – a plain, white t-shirt with an Eagle in the middle, along with some nice fitting tan pants and some shoes. ‘Odd,’ you thought to yourself, ‘definitely don’t remember changing clothes.’

The room you laid in was relatively plain, nothing was out of the ordinary as Maria Elena continued to play on repeat. “Okay,” you said aloud, “that’s a bit weird.”

With a grumble, you placed your feet on the ground as you held your head in your hands, “ugh, Steve, where the hell are you? ‘Could really use one of Howard’s hangover cures.”

Before you could talk any more nonsense to yourself, the door opened, revealing a beautiful young woman dressed in a nurse’s outfit, “good morning.” She took a quick glance at her watch, “or should I say afternoon.

You eyed her suspiciously as one of your favorite songs quickly grew to be very annoying, “where am I? Where is Steve?”

She seemed a bit nervous as she answered you, “you’re in a recovery room in New York City. Captain Rogers is right beside you, the next room over. He has been informed that you’ve woken up.”

Harry James’ “All or Nothing At All” came on the radio and you felt the urge to roll your eyes, “where am I really?”

The woman chuckled, “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Your eyes narrowed, “the songs. Listen, any person with a stable head on their shoulders loves Harry James, but there is no way in hell Blue Ribbon Town is playin’ his songs all the damn time. Now, where am I – and tell Steve I want him here.”

The ‘nurse’ – well, you didn’t know if you could call her that cause you seemingly caught her bluff – grew worried as you stood up, the bed creaking below you, “just tell me where I am and where Steve is and I’ll-“

You stilled for a moment, recognizing the sounds of two people arguing, and of course, Steve’s voice. He sounded agitated and on edge, but at least you knew he was safe. Now, you just wanted to get the hell out of here. The woman, nurse, whoever she was, grabbed a walkie-talkie and began talking into it, but you paid no mind to her.

The door opened behind her, revealing a man, you guessed an Agent, in a suit, “who the hell are you? I want to get out of this room.”

The man held out his hands, “Agent Y/N, my name is Phil Coulson, we work with S.H.I.E.L.D. There’s no need to stress, you are alright and safe.”

You squinted your eyes at him, “well, Agent Coulson, I’m sure you can tell why I am even remotely hesitant to trust you, so with all due respect, I’m breaking out of here.”

And with that, you sprinted towards the wall opposite you, ramming shoulder first and knocking it down, revealing bright lights and metal flooring – almost like they were keeping something on the inside.

An alarm sounded above you as you stopped in a hallway, people looking at your figure before gasping. “All agents, code 13” echoed above you as you dragged yourself along, unable to take a second and look. You cursed Steve for leaving you alone, for not hearing you fighting with that woman and Coulson guy. Shoving some men down onto the floor, you continued to run until you pushed open the doors, the outside becoming cold very quickly.

You spun in a circle, trying to take in everything around you as you ran into oncoming traffic, the sounds of horns blaring causing more confusion than anything. Running seemed to be the only thing you knew how to do, the rain drizzling down upon you, doing nothing to slow your speed. The more you ran, the more you realized how unfamiliar everything looked. Neon signs, tall buildings, cars you’ve never seen before – if that woman was telling the truth, when the hell did everything change?

You slowed to a stop, huge moving-picture signs changed above you and the unfamiliarity was daunting. You needed someone’s hand to grab, to hold onto something, so you reached towards your chest, holding tightly onto Bucky’s dog tags.

Black cars pulled in front of you and from behind you, a tall, sort-of menacing man stood before you, “at ease, Agent.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as Steve stepped out of the backseat of the car, looking uneasy; the man continued, hands at the side of his black trench coat and eyepatch adding more questions as to who this man was, “look, I’m sorry about that little show back there, but…we thought it best to break it to you slowly.”

Your grip on Bucky’s dog tags tightened as your breathing quickened, “Steve? Break what?”

The somewhat terrifying man took a breath, “you’ve been asleep, L/N. For almost 70 years – same with your friend Captain here.”

Your heart ached and it hurt to breathe all of a sudden. Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to steady your breathing, looking around at everything around you. Steve stepped forward, hands quickly grabbing yours even as you tried to move away, “honeybee, I know it’s a lot to take in but you gotta breathe. You got this, you got this…”

You nodded, trying to listen as ringing took over your ears.

Steve turned, trying to catch his breath as the man in front of you looked to you both, “you going to be okay?”

Steve nodded, “she’ll be okay, she’s fine.

The man looked to you, “Miss L/N?”

You tried to steady your breathing, “I need…where is…”

The man held out his hands, “we’ll answer all of your questions, starting with who I am – my name is Director Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. We’ve been taking care of you both since your discovery and anything you need, you let us know. Now, can we get you situated?”

Steve continued to look confused as you glared at Fury, “how do I know I can trust you?”

Fury gestured to the world surrounding you, “you see anyone else trying to make friends, Miss L/N?”

You grumbled, “y/n is fine, really…Cap, what’s going on?”

Steve gripped your hands, “you can trust him, y/n, I promise. He’ll make sense of everything, he’s a good guy.”

With a glare, you looked towards the Director, “where…where would I be headed with you?”

Nick Fury leaned back on the balls of his feet, “Washington D.C, Triskelion, S.H.I.E.L.D, HQ, specifically.”

With a glance to Steve, you knew that broken look too well – a place to rest, to fully digest this news, would be nice. It seems he has somewhat fit in with this new world that you now have to adjust to. You turned to Fury, “I’ll go with you. But will I be staying there permanently?”

Fury shrugged, “you are in charge of your own life. Once we get you settled, you’re free to do what you wish.”

Steve nodded towards you as he recognized your hesitance – you can trust Nick Fury. You’ll be in charge of your own life once you become accustomed to this new world.

The trip to Washington D.C. was not too troublesome, but coming to terms with what era you were living in sure was. You and Steve were silent the entire ride, making sense of what had happened during your final mission. Once you arrived, Nick Fury had no qualms about telling you what had happened; you had completed the mission, saving millions of lives, and you had won the war.

But it just did not feel right.

You knew why; you shouldn’t be here. At this point, you and Bucky, your Jamie, should be in your late 80s, kids, and grandkids living their lives to the fullest. Yet here you were, living in an unknown world without your James, and the worst part – you had no idea if his body was recovered, if he had a funeral, if Becca had something for him.

That was what the first few months of your new life consisted of: doing research on these high-tech computers about Bucky, Rebecca, catching up on the history you missed out on. Unconsciously, you found yourself researching ‘Colonel Chester Phillips’ and found that your broody Colonel lived the rest of his life to the fullest, becoming one of the founders of S.H.I.E.L.D. – you just knew that man was meant for greatness. Next, ‘Howard Stark’ added to your search and your heart ached.

Howard, your Howie Stark, was murdered.

They had known it was murder, or some kind of setup, once the feds realized much of his equipment was stolen from his car. Howard and his beautiful wife Maria were murdered.

You cried that night.

The next day, you brought yourself to visit Colonel Phillips’ grave and laid a bouquet of flowers on his grave; you knew he’d call you ridiculous, that he didn’t need any flowers, but you did it anyway. Shockingly, Howard and Maria’s gravesite weren’t too far and you had laid flowers on their graves as well.

Steve hadn’t joined you.

You weren’t upset with him, no, just…you weren’t sure. You wished he came along, but he figured giving you space was what you needed when in reality, you needed him – you needed your Steve Rogers from Brooklyn. At least when you two went down, Peggy was still alive; your James wasn’t. A part of you hated Steve for that, but it also grieved with him.

Nothing more was done of your research on Jamie; you’d seen the same thing about him over and over, yet you knew all that was said. However, you loved seeing moving pictures of him and Steve, ones you hadn’t seen before that day. He was just as beautiful as the day he left you for war. His smile made your heart race and his nose scrunch, his eyes squinting during his smile…he was breathtaking.

Reaching below the collar of your shirt, you grasped the dog tags around your neck, thankful S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn’t taken them off. Laying a kiss on them, you let them go, hitting your chest before your fingers met the keyboard: “Grover, Newspaper vendor, Brooklyn.”

That man had continued selling newspapers until his final years and right away, you saw an article titled, “LOCAL NEWS VENDOR SHARES PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA’S PARTNER, Y/N L/N, AFTER LOSS OF CONTACT.” Of course, that old man had to talk about you.

Reading the article, you realized this was right after Steve and you crashed; you felt Grover’s grief and pain through his words. “That kid was a pain in my side, but y/n l/n is – was, one of the lights in my life. She was like the daughter I’ve always wanted an’ while I wish she coulda stayed here, she always told me she needed ta’ do somethin’ with her life,” Grover had said, the author keeping his Brooklyn accent. “Her relationship with James Barnes meant so much to that girl and if there was any way she’d avenge his death, she’d be doin’ it, and I know she did,” he said, “and even though I gotta live the rest of my life without that girl, I know I couldn’t have kept her from doin’ what she thought was best. I love her and…I’ll miss her.”

Visiting his grave was the most emotionally draining day since you’ve been back.

-

honeybee taglist: @clownerlyluv

@ginger-swag-rapunzel

@starkleila

[ssamie]

ten. love is war!

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry

gen masterlist.                  "snow" masterlist

oikawa grumbled under his breath as he walked alongside of y/n. normally, he would be more than happy to be hanging with her so casually. but that certainly wasn't the case at the moment, seeing as, not only is iwaizumi with them, but also the five other friends of hers

"hey hey, where are we going exactly?" oikawa whispered to her

y/n peered back at him and smiled "well, we're just going wherever. it's been pretty long since i last saw my friends, after all" she said "but you can stay behind if you don't wanna come with oikawa-san" she said with furrowed brows as she took notice of his grumbling

oikawa took one quick glance at reki and grumbled even more as he shook his head "no, im coming with!" he huffed 

y/n nodded and chuckled sheepishly "okay, oikawa-san.. tell me if you need anything" she said 

"hey, actually.. am i even allowed to be here?" oikawa asked with a look of dread as he looks around them 

joe, cherry, miya, reki, and shadow were casually chatting along and yet he felt a little left out. 

"of course, oikawa-san" y/n reassured him with a smile "why? do you feel awkward?" she asked him. she then averted his eyes towards iwaizumi and mused "even iwaizumi-san is getting along with them quite well" she said 

oikawa sweat dropped and followed her line of sight "that's cus he's bonding with joe over some weird crossfit stuff!" he exclaimed. oikawa sighed and stared longingly at his best friend "even miya likes him" he playfully cried "all that kid does is bully me and call me a slime" he sulked 

y/n sweat dropped and chuckled at his antics. "well then, you can stick with me if you want" she mused. "i won't let you feel left out, oikawa-san" she chuckled "since you did the same for me when i fist joined the team, remember?" she smiled 

oikawa stared up at her with comical tears flowing down his cheeks and beamed "thank you! you're the best, y/n-chan!!" oikawa cheered 

y/n laughed as the brunette hugged her arm and leaned down to rest his head on her shoulder. "you look silly oikawa-san, please stand straight" she sweat dropped as she struggled to walk with his towering form clinging onto her 

oikawa laughed and did as he was told, though still keeping their arms locked together. "dont be like that, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed "y know you love me" he grinned cockily 

y/n chuckled and sighed "sure, oikawa-san. whatever you say" she said 

from behind them, reki watched with a smile as she and oikawa goofed around. he's always happy to see her so lively and becoming close with new people, after all. 

"well..??" miya mused as he gestured to the two with an expectant look 

"well what?" reki tilted his head in confusion 

miya rolled his eyes and pulled him down to his height to whisper "aren't you gonna do something?" he asked 

reki furrowed his brows and let out a sheepish laugh "what do you mean?" he asked "what do i need to do?" 

miya sighed in exasperation "you're so stupid. no wonder you can't go up from your position as a slime" he said 

reki huffed and ruffled his hair, making miya groan in annoyance "don't call me stupid! also, what're you even on about?" he said

"what're you gonna do if she suddenly gets together with him?" miya asked him 

reki blinked in response and let out a nervous laugh "what..? what kinda question is that?" he mused 

"and what kind of answer is that?" miya spat out in annoyance "you know what? whatever" he said "just don't blame anyone but yourself if y/n suddenly finds a new best friend and gets a boyfriend that isn't you" miya sneered 

reki frowned and hit him in the head, making miya whimper "shut up! she won't do that" reki said with a meek laugh 

reki peered up at her, watching as she listened to oikawa with a weary look on her face as he rants to her about something stupid with his usual charming but cocky grin. 

"she won't do that." he muttered to himself. "she promised."

soon, all of them had arrived at some random restaurant since y/n and reki had been complaining about food for about an hour straight, and frankly, cherry has had enough. 

"y know, you probably should've declined adam's beef" reki mused. y/n raised a brow and looked at him in confusion "what? why?" she asked "i won either way.." 

reki sighed and turned to look at her "well yeah, but adam's totally nuts! and didn't you promise you won't skate with him anymore?" y/n gulped and looked away from him "i did promise that didn't i.." she mumbled 

"well, it's whatever." she waved it off "it already happened. besides, im totally fine!" she grinned 

reki watched as she went to grab some of the food, only for her to wince as her wounded hand grazed the hot bowl. "ow" she winced under her breath as she cradled her hand 

reki sweat dropped and laughed at her "see? what'd i tell you" he mused as he went to grab her hand "here, let me see—" 

he couldn't seem to finish his sentence since he was beaten to it by oikawa's interjection. "tsk tsk, y/n-chan you gotta be careful you know?" oikawa playfully scolded her as he grabbed her hand and gently massaged her palm to try and ease the pain down 

y/n huffed and nodded along as she let's oikawa hold her hand for a while longer "sorry, oikawa-san" she muttered as oikawa playfully pokes her cheek to annoy her 

"hm." reki pursed his lips as he let out a low hum, watching the scene play out with partial confusion and annoyance 

"haha! be careful next time!" reki exclaimed with a grin as he ruffles her hair and pulled her closer to him, making oikawa loose his grasp on her. "yeah sorry" she grinned sheepishly as she looks up at reki with reddening cheeks 

reki side eyes oikawa and sends him a smile, to which the brunette responded to with an irked and painfully forced smile in return 

"haha, well then.." oikawa mused "here you go, y/n-chan" he said as he held a sushi before her with his chopsticks "you should let me feed you since your hand's pretty messed up" oikawa suggested with a smile 

y/n looked up at the brunette and then down at the sushi and eagerly nodded. "okay!" she said as she went to chomp on the sushi, only to be met with nothing. 

"eh?" she mumbled in confusion as she stares at the chopsticks which were now empty 

"actually, i'll do that!" reki interjected with a sweet smile as he snatches the sushi from his chopsticks with his own "here, y/n! say 'ahh!' " reki cooed as he held it to her with his hand cupping the underside from crumbs 

"oh.. um.. okay?" she muttered in confusion as she turned to face reki with her cheeks slowly heating up "a-ahh" she smiled nervously as she went to eat the sushi, only for it to be snatched away once again 

"my my, reki-kun~" oikawa cooed with an irked smile "you shouldn't pass around people's food" he said "now it's all mushy and gross" oikawa stiffly laughed as he put away the sushi and reached for a new one 

reki took a deep breath and sent him an equally irked smile as well. "ah is that so?" he chuckled "my bad.." 

"have this instead then, y/n" reki said as he reached for a dumpling and held it to her mouth 

"have this instead, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed as he held the sushi to her mouth as well 

"oh..okay.." y/n sweat dropped as she looked at the two boys beside her with a look of dread. "actually, maybe i'll just finish my drink for now—" 

"ha, see! she didn't want the sushi anyways! haha what a shame!" reki cooed as he taunted oikawa 

"well apparently, she's also not in a dumpling mood, is she, reki-kun?" oikawa cooed back through gritted teeth 

as the two boys telepathically argue, y/n sat quietly as her stomach grumbled, wanting nothing more than to eat at the moment. 

"geez. those two slimes really are a good-for-nothing" miya said with a sigh. he then turned to y/n with a smug cat-like grin and held his chopsticks out for her 

"guess i'll have to feed you instead" he cooed with an evil laugh  

y/n beamed and happily munched on the food, "thank you, miya" she said with a smile as she lets miya feed her the meal 

miya chuckled and sent the two boys a smug smirk. reki and oikawa deadpans at him and huffed. "did he just." oikawa muttered "yeah he did." reki replied

"just how long is this gonna go on for?" shadow sighed as he watched oikawa and reki subtly shove each other by masking it with friendly smiles and conversations

"dunno, but im enjoying this!!" miya exclaimed as he happily let's y/n feed him as well

shadow deadpanned as he watched the boy purr and roll around like an over joyed cat. 

"well of course you are" he sweat dropped

"man, just how long til we get there?" reki groaned out as he shuffles around in his seat

"but it's so boring! why can't we just skate there" reki huffed as he reluctantly planted himself still in his seat

"you're not a child. stop acting like one or im kicking you out of this car" cherry said in annoyance

"because it's too far and everyone here will pass out from the heat" cherry responded with a sigh "also.. if its so hot.." he trailed off. "then why are you two cuddling as if its the peak of winter?!" he exclaimed as he gestured to y/n and reki, who was pressed against each other as they both practically melt into a puddle

"because reki said he missed me" y/n replied "so i wanted to comfort him"

cherry peered down at her with a grimace as he took note of her sweat drenched face, and her meek smile "you're sweating all over the seats. that's disgusting." cherry deadpanned

"but i don't want reki to be sad" she reasoned

"he looks perfectly fine to me" cherry shook his head in exasperation "and you." he averted his eyes towards miya "what are you doing?"

miya looked back at him and grinned sheepishly "we're bonding, don't you see?" he cooed with a playful scoff

"bonding?! who the hell said that?! get off me!" oikawa exclaimed as he tried to pluck miya off of his lap 

"we're bonding!" miya hissed at him "it just so happened that theres an ac directly above you, so this position is necessary" he said 

"piss off, catboy" oikawa playfully scowled at him "if it's so hot then take off that damn cat hoodie you have on!" 

"no way!" miya exclaimed as he tried to pry away oikawa's hands, thus causing more chaos within the car 

"hey stop moving around!!" shadow scolded them  from the driver's seat "and you two love birds! stop sweating on my seats!" 

"we're not sweating on them!" reki exclaimed 

"its practically river back there, shut up redhead!" 

cherry had a look of dread on his face as he managed to just sit and endure the whole thing. though that was soon ruined as he turned to look at joe and iwaizumi, only to find them arm wrestling like a bunch of crazy gym freaks. 

"arm wrestling? really?" cherry scoffed in disbelief "in the middle of a car ride? in a moving vehicle?" 

"dont worry kaoru!" joe mused "im totally beating this kid" 

"yeah right" iwaizumi grinned as he slammed joe's arm down with a look of triumph 

"what the?!" joe spluttered "no way! kaoru! he cheated i swear!" he exclaimed 

"i don't care" cherry grumbled back "hey, step on the gas and just take us there for christ's sake" he said to shadow with a weary sigh 

"geez, no need to tell me twice" shadow replied 

"WOAH!" reki and y/n cheered as they looked around the empty skatepark "SO COOL!" they exclaimed as they ran around the open space 

"how'd you find this, oikawa-san?" she asked the brunette with sparkling eyes "i didnt think miyagi even had skateparks!" 

reki perked up and faced him "girls? do you have a girlfriend already or something?" he asked the brunette 

"oh? you like it here huh?" oikawa mused "then let's go again sometime" he suggested "also, one of the girls at school told me about it" he said 

"i don't" oikawa replied with furrowed brows "why?" 

"no reason" reki cooed as he have oikawa a friendly pat on the back "just thought it'd be weird to be so close to y/n if you have a girlfriend" 

"but you don't so it's fine.. totally fine.." 

"oikawa-san is very popular at school so he has a lot of fangirls." y/n explained as she skates past them

"popular?!" reki exclaimed in surprise "you're popular, oikawa-san?!" 

"huh? so what if i am?!" oikawa huffed in response "and why are you so surprised?!" he narrowed his eyes at the redhead. "well i didnt think you would be famous like that" reki said with a laugh "well i guess it makes sense since you're an athlete and all" 

oikawa sweat dropped and peered down at him "i can't tell if you're mocking me or if you're being genuine" he said 

reki smiled at him and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck "im being genuine" he said "its cool that you're a big shot athlete already at your age. you're probably really talented too" reki said "you're pretty admirable, oikawa-san . i can see why y/n enjoys being with you" reki let out a soft chuckle 

oikawa's eyes softened at his words and awkwardly shuffled in his place. "you're pretty cool too, reki-kun" oikawa admitted with a sigh 

"im kinda jealous of you, actually. you don't even have to try and yet.." oikawa trailed off as he watched y/n look at reki with love filled eyes from afar. 

reki looked at him and tilted his head in confusion. "yet what..?" he asked 

oikawa shook his head and waved it off "nothing, nothing. nevermind" he chuckled "just go skate or something" he said "i'm staying here" 

reki grinned and playfully slapped his back. "don't be like that!" he laughed "you're the one who brought us here, so you gotta join in on the fun!" reki beamed as he dragged oikawa over to the rest of the group 

"oh? have you two finally made up?" cherry mused as he watched reki drag oikawa around, while the brunette complains about the wind ruining his hair. 

"made up? but we never fought" reki mused as he got in his skateboard 

"you say that as if we didn't have to sit through your passive aggressive exchange during lunch" shadow sweatdropped 

"eh? what'd you mean?" reki cooed "your memory's going stale, old man shadow!" 

"im only twenty four!" shadow yelled back 

"over already?!" reki whined as they reluctantly followed them to the car 

"well, its already dark" iwaizumi said as he stretched his arms over his head. "and we've been here for hours"

"hes just sad cus he hasn't skated in forever" miya sneered as he skated past them and placed his board into the trunk 

"fine" reki sighed in reply. "hey, was it fun?" he asked oikawa, making the brunette shrug. "it was fun, yeah.. though falling on my ass wasn't exactly the greatest" oikawa replied 

"exactly! let's just stay here for a while!" reki pouted. "we can skate again tomorrow, reki" y/n said with a smile as she patted his back reassuringly 

"don't worry, oikawa-san! you were actually pretty good!" y/n complimented him with a grin 

"yeah yeah, you flatter me too much!" oikawa chuckled as he nudged her playfully with his shoulder 

"anyways, im pretty tired." she yawned. "i think i'll just sleep on the way home" she said as she entered the car and sat down on the leather seats 

"..." 

oikawa and reki side eyed each other, shuffling on their spots as they send each other one last 'friendly' smile before sprinting towards the car, trying to claim the seat next to her. 

"what the hell" iwaizumi deadpanned as he watched them push and shove each other as they fought for the seat beside her "i thought they made up already" iwaizumi sighed 

"and are they really that dumb to not realize she's sitting in the middle." miya chimed in as he peered at the two with a grimace 

"you can sit on both sides, slimes!" miya yelled at them 

"oh right" they both muttered in realisation as they quietly take their seat on either side of her. 

"ehem." reki fake coughed. "y/n!!" he cooed at her with a beaming smile 

y/n looked over at him with tired eyes and smiled back "yes reki?" she asked as her cheeks gradually heat up

"if you ever wanna sleep, you can use me as a pillow" reki suggested with a grin as he patted his shoulder 

"me too! but im probably more comfortable since reki-kun here would probably poke your eye out with his spiky ass hair" oikawa cooed with a sweet smile 

y/n spluttered as she looked back at oikawa with a look of disbelief "what? his.. his hair?" she muttered 

"awh! but oikawa-san, you might suffocate her with the amount of hairspray you have on to keep your hair in place!" reki cooed back with a giggle 

y/n sweat dropped and nervously looked at the two boys as they continue to smile and beam at each other despite their awfully insulting words. "i see.." y/n nervously chuckled. "well, i appreciate it" she said 

"no problem!" they beamed at her

"its been half an hour." miya commented 

"yeah." iwaizumi nodded along "what's gonna happen next? i think i know." 

miya hummed and side eyed them. "y/n's asleep." he muttered in a deeper 'narrator' type voice 

"i see." iwaizumi nodded 

oikawa hummed to himself as he slyly watched her head slowly starting to fall and instinctively lean against somewhere. "wow. this ride's pretty long" oikawa mused 

"her head is falling." miya said. "i see." iwaizumi replied.

"mhm." reki nodded 

a soft sigh could be heard as y/n's head slowly falls towards reki's direction, causing a smug smirk to form on his lips 

"the slime won." miya clapped quietly, with iwaizumi sulking for his friend 

oikawa gritted his teeth as a vein popped out of his temple out of frustration. he swiftly grabbed her head and dropped it down to his own shoulder, waking her in the process from the sudden pull 

"what the..?" y/n mumbled as he looked up at oikawa in confusion 

"nevermind! the other slime won by force!" miya commented as he glared at oikawa while iwaizumi smiled proudly 

"what're you doing?!" reki exclaimed as he grabbed her head and forcefully rested it on his shoulder instead 

"im letting her get comfortable, that's all" oikawa mused as he placed her head back onto him 

"reki?! oikawa-san?! what are you guys doing?! " she frantically asked as she felt her head being shook around, and her neck coming close to snapping 

"shh! sleep!" oikawa shushed her as he held her close and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "i- why are you guys pulling on me?!" she shrieked out 

"okay that's enough." cherry sighed as he turned around to hit both boys on their head with his fan "let the girl rest. and stop fighting." he sighed "just sleep altogether or something"

"how?!" 

in the end, oikawa and reki ended up resting their head on her shoulder while iwaizumi rests peacefully beside them. miya, however, was sprawled out on top of them with his head on y/n's lap and iwaizumi holding his legs down to keep him from slipping 

all in all, it was a cute sight, and whether they admit it or not, joe, cherry, and shadow definitely took loads of pictures. 

"geez." joe sighed 

"these kids are making me feel old" he mused "when was the last time we were like this, kaoru?" he asked as he gestured to their sleeping figures. 

"since never." cherry deadpanned "not once did we ever do that" he said, making joe sweat drop 

"sheesh, atleast play along or something" 

sorry for the spelling /grammar mistakes if there are any :>

idk if this is good i'm so sorry 💀 

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Saying Goodbye {Bucky Barnes x Reader}

Request: Hi! Can you make one where (this is after CA:CW) and I wasnt in the fight but hes writing me since hes hiding.

Character: Bucky Barnes x Gender Neutral Reader

Requested by anon

Note: sorry that this gets sad 

His hand trembled ever so slightly as he put pen to paper. Ever noise and movement that he heard outside of his temporary apartment scared him. Bucky Barnes usually wasn’t one to scare easily but now, he had too much to lose; he had you to worry about. With every footstep or slam of a door, he would grab his gun and hold it tightly, awaiting someone to barge into his home and try and kill him. He worried that if they got a hold of him, they would find you and target you too and he couldn’t risk that.

You hadn’t seen or heard from Bucky in weeks. When you’d last spoken to him he was in the process of moving from city to city and god knows how many times he’d moved since last speaking to you. You knew that he was still alive because his face was plastered on the news all of the time saying that he was still at large but you didn’t know if he was okay or if he was safe. He had written to you a couple of times just to let you know that he was safe and well and had told you that he would try and write soon.

As he put pen to paper, he took a breath for what he was about to do and then began to write. 

Hey doll,

Sorry if my handwriting’s a mess, I’m a little jumpy today. You already know who it is. I’m sorry for not writing sooner, I had to move twice before I could feel safe enough to sleep. I can’t tell you where I am, as you know, but I’m safe, doll. I’m safe enough that I can stay here for a while anyway.

My god, I miss you. I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that everything was back to normal and you and I were dancing around the living room listening to Ella Fitzgerald. I woke up too soon but for those brief few hours, I was truly at peace and was truly happy with you, even if it was our dream selves. You’re the one thing that’s getting me through this, doll. The thought of you is the one thing keeping me going. I can’t wait to see your smile as you open the door to see me, I can’t wait to hold you and smell your perfume. I love you, I love all of you, doll. I love every single curve, every single blemish, every single inch of you. I have never loved someone as much as I love you and I never will again. You are the start and the end for me, doll. I miss you so much more than I can tell you. I know you didn’t agree with me going on the run without you but I couldn’t risk possibly making you a target or causing you to get hurt. I know it’s been hard and I’m sorry; I’m sorry for all of this. I’m getting memories every day of my life - of the Winter Soldier’s life. It’s tough especially since you’re the one that usually helps me cope with those but I’m doing okay on my own. I’m sleeping, not great but I’m able to sleep a bit better. I’ve taken to sleeping on the floor again, an old habit that I’ve relearned. 

I’m okay, I assure you. I thought that they found me two cities ago but they didn’t so I got away quite quickly. I’ve got enough money to get me by. I’m helping out the landlord with work so that covers the temporary apartment I’ve got. It’s decent enough; a bed, a kitchen and a bathroom. More than enough for just now. Don’t worry about my food situation, I’m managing to scrape enough money up for a decent meal every day. I’m hoping that things ease up or things are quiet enough that I could get some work but I’m not sure about that. The landlord has hired me to help with construction work or maintenance work around the apartment block so I’m out the way and no one’s seeing my face so I’m hidden. I feel safer here, I think it’ll be a while before they catch up to me but I never know, my bag is packed just in case. 

I know that saying this makes everything sound like I’m not okay and sometimes I’m not okay but I assure you that I’m safe and getting by.

I can’t wait for all of this to be over. I don’t know when that will be and even then, I’m not sure if it’ll ever be over but... I wanted to tell you that I don’t expect you to wait for me. I would love for you to wait but I can’t ask you to put your life on hold for me, doll. It could be years before it’s safe for me to come home so I can’t be selfish, I have to let you move on and live your life; if that’s what you want. I won’t blame you or hate you or feel any negativity towards you, I promise you, doll. I want what’s best for you and right now, I’m not the best thing. You’ve never treated me as a monster or a villain but the world thinks that’s exactly what I am so I gotta make peace with that. I’m not giving up hope, I hope this will all be sorted in a few months but I’m also realistic. I don’t know how it’s gonna go so please, doll, if you wanna move on or find comfort with someone else, I won’t blame you for that. I won’t be able to know your decision, hell you might’ve already moved on, so this is gonna be my last letter, at least for a while. I don’t want anyone finding you or targeting you and I also want to give you the best possible shot for happiness, even if you’re happy without me.

I love you, doll, I’ll always love you and I suppose if this is the last letter I’ll send for a while, let me just say that you were, are and always will be my everything. You’re my hope, my dream, my constant anchor; you are everything to me and I will always love you. I don’t want to ruin your life like I’ve ruined so many lives before so... I’m letting you go. I’m letting you be happy and move on so that you don’t have to worry about me. It’s okay, doll, it really is okay. I want you to be happy so go, be happy. Don’t worry about me any longer and instead, go do great things. Maybe when this is all over we’ll meet in that coffee shop where we first met, sit at the same tables - me at the front and you at the back - and smile at each other from across the shop.

It’s going to be okay, I promise you. I will love you until the sun takes its last breath and beyond. Goodbye for now, doll.

Bucky x

As he signed the letter off and folded into the envelope with your address on it, an overwhelming sadness hit him deep in his heart. It was his goodbye to you. He knew that you’d be upset but he wanted to make sure you knew that it would be okay for you to move on, if that’s what you wanted. You didn’t need permission to move on but he wanted to give you closure if that’s what you needed. He knew that there could’ve been the possibility of you not wanting to leave him and not wanting contact to cease but right now, in order to give you your best shot, he had to. He had to say goodbye no matter how much it killed him inside.

So, he sealed the envelope and put his cap on, pulling his hair down around his face. He left his apartment, letter in hand. He kept his head down as he walked through the streets, thinking only of you. It wasn’t long before he found a post box. With a slow breath, he lifted the letter to the mouth of the post box and faltered. This was it. This was goodbye.

He dropped the letter into the box, hearing it hit the bottom of the metal box,  “Goodbye, doll.” He turned and walked away, walking into the unknown.

[x0401x]

Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #14

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Santa Invasion

“What’s this?”

“Ice cream.”

“Well, I can tell that much just by looking, but...”

“To be precise, it is an ice cream cake.”

A gigantic ladybug was sitting on the low table. Its vivid red and dark brown-like black shades were definitely berries and chocolate. The back was decorated with flowers like marguerite. It was adorable. And huge. It was a hemispherical cake that looked like a basket ball cut in half, the name of a store from Dogenzaka printed on its box. It was 7PM. The last customer had left, I was done with the cleaning and all we had left to do was closing the store. It was still the second week of December, so the mayhem of making provisions for winter presents was a few ways ahead, but the number of clients was increasing little by little.

Just what on earth would this beautiful jeweler come up in such times?

Due to a habit of his from whenever he had something that was hard to say aloud and thus failed to speak up, Mr. Richard Ranashinghe de Vulpian had a serious crease forming just slightly between his brows. It made me feel at ease. This guy didn’t make a face like this when he was burdened with something that was actually difficult to say. He would speak more bland and expressionlessly instead.

“This is a little souvenir.”

“Are you going to a customer’s place after this?”

Richard’s reply was a gentle “no” in English.

He’d been often speaking a mix of Japanese and English lately. When English-speaking customers came by, he would switch completely to English as if for practical assessment, so I was desperate just to keep up with listening to them. I was grateful for having him as my English conversation teacher.

“A certain good-for-nothing who works with finances is currently in Japan, so...”

“Ah, Jeffrey-san, is it? He seemed so busy last time... Sorry, forget what I just said.”

“No need. That is a correct interpretation, so it is nothing to apologize about.”

Despite saying this, Richard’s facial expression did not seem even remotely satisfied as he swiftly took an indigo envelope out of his pocket. It had no seal, so it must have been handed over to him. The content was a pop-out card, and under a paper-craft cake colored with gold leaves and uneven printing, it was written in very tasteful Japanese: “I’m going to hold a party at the hotel, so come over. I’ll be waiting.” The date of the party was today and the place was the room of a luxury hotel in Tokyo. A home party? No, a hotel party.

The title was “Richard’s birthday party”. The plate of the pop-up cake didn’t say “Merry Christmas”. It said “Happy Birthday”.

Christmas Eve on the 24th was this beautiful shopkeeper’s birthday.

As I returned the card to him, a crease once again formed between Richard’s brows as he said with an unsparingly decisive tone, “How very embarrassing.”

“Doesn’t seem so much like it from your face.”

“Because I practiced making it. But this is extremely embarrassing. I think it is not something that warrants going through the trouble of arranging a plane ticket.”

“I wonder if anyone else will be going.”

“It seems Chieko will attend. I received an e-mail yesterday saying, ‘I am going to show up as a surprise so please take care of me’.”

“Is that even a surprise? Well, okay.”

Chieko-san was Richard and Jeffrey’s private tutor in the past and I was acquainted with her to some degree. I wondered if Homura-san, who had married her daughter, was also coming. No, not happening. He was a customer of Etranger, so Richard would probably feel abashed if he did so.

“If it goes on like this, the people lying in wait in that room will just gang up into an assembly to celebrate me.”

“What even is ‘ganging up to celebrate’?”

“They are ganging up on me. I likely will not be able to say anything other than ‘thank you very much’. I need reinforcements. If you would like, could you come with me?”

“Me too? That okay?”

“Of course. The party starts at 8PM probably because it coincides with Etranger’s closing hours. That British safe-like man is not narrow-minded enough to leave you out.”

It was written there that the party would begin at 8PM. We had 30 minutes. There was no spare time to make a pudding. What to do? What should I do?

Richard was apparently unable to let my groaning an “ngh, ngh” while deep in thought go unnoticed. ���If it is impossible for you, just say so right away. I know that you are at the final stage of studying for your exams.”

“That doesn’t matter. Why didn’t you tell me a bit earlier about this? If I knew, I could’ve made preparations for it... Aah, is that why?”

“It is. I recall saying that you should refrain from being overly distracted.”

“I don’t think a ‘celebration’ is ‘overly distracting’, though.”

“Anything is fine, so please answer. Will you come or not?”

He didn’t have to go as far as asking me something like that.

I bowed in a way that wouldn’t cause any hairs to fall onto the ice cream ladybug. “I shall humbly accompany you.”

“Very well.”

“Sorry, but before that, I gotta go to the toilet for a bit.”

I hastily rushed to Etranger’s restroom and unlocked my phone in a flash. I then tapped on the e-mail app. Of course, the destination could only be one person.

“Help. I’m sorry but I just got informed about the birthday party, so I have no present.”

Jeffrey-san.

The contents of the message were not at all on a level that someone should send to the person they owed their life to, but he would understand.

The reply came in a matter of seconds. As expected, he worked fast.

“Good evening. I have everything, so there’s no problem if you come empty-handed. There will be champagne, canapés, chicken pie and cake, and I plan to have chocolate fondue coming up at the end.”

There was a proud smiley emoji at the end of the text. It seemed this was going to be a big deal.

Richard would probably have work tomorrow, and he wasn’t the type to get wasted or stuff his face with sweets in the middle of the night. It seemed I also wouldn’t have to worry about dinner. It made me feel sorry. This was the same old pattern. This course of eating and seeing good stuff amidst the confusion of the moment made my stomach hurt when I thought better about it.

“Don’t you know anything that Richard wanted?”

The response came after a moment, “My bad, but nothing comes to mind. How about you give him what you want most?”

What I wanted most. I could only think of refill shampoo and new socks. I’d be ashamed of giving things like that to Richard. After all, this was a mixture of birthday and Christmas party—

Just as I was thinking this, a genius inspiration sprouted in my head. It wasn’t the best solution. Not at all. But I felt it could work. This was too obvious, but if only I had the necessary materials for it, I could do it immediately.

Making up my mind, I came out of the restroom, apologized for making Richard wait, and as we rode to the designated address on the jaguar, I had him stop the car in front of a mass retailer for a moment. I told him I wanted to buy refill shampoo for my home. Richard was exasperated, but didn’t have any suspicions in particular.

We arrived at the hotel, got into the elevator, and on the way to the party venue, I made sure to walk a bit behind Richard. Staying out of his sight was essential.

When he opened the door to the suite, sure enough, Jeffrey-san and Chieko-san were waiting inside. Giving off a relaxed atmosphere, a room-service feast even bigger than what I had imagined from the phone call was waiting on the table for the main guest.

“Happy birthday, Richard. Chieko’s here too. Surprised?”

“Of course. Very surprised. Extremely.”

“Hmm, by the looks of it, I guess there was some information leak. Well, that’s okay! Where’s Nakata-kun?”

“What do you mean ‘where’? He’s right here. Seigi... Seigi?”

My eyes locked with Richard’s. I had locked them with Jeffrey-san’s before that. I was grateful that he had done me the favor of not laughing.

I politely shook my head at my boss, who was making a flabbergasted face. “My name is Santa.”

What I had bought at the mass retailer was a handy Santa makeover set. The three-piece set consisted of a hat, a put-on beard and a Santa costume, but I hadn’t had time to change into the costume, so it was folded up in my bag. I intended to borrow the suite’s bathroom to put on the costume. If I at least had my face ready, I could somehow make it work.

Richard was dumbfounded. It was the obvious reaction. But I wanted him to forgive me for this. After all, it was December and today was a party day.

“I’m Santa Claus! I came from the North Pole. Please take care of me for today!” After introducing myself, I thought that maybe this wasn’t an exemplary self-introduction for Santa, but it was already too late.

Jeffrey-san, who completely livened up the mood whenever he got excited, went along with the joke, saying, “Wah, Santa-san, thank you for coming from such a faraway place!”

I was grateful for that one. And that was how I got away with playing the role of a worldwide mascot-like old man character from the Arctic for the day. The ice cream cake brought by the star of the party was a success, and we had a toast with both champagne and royal milk tea. Chieko-san was wearing a kimono, the remade peridot brooch on her chest.

   It had already been more than half a year since then, but to my body, it felt like even longer ago.

My location had moved from Japan to Sri Lanka, as one would expect, and I was busy fully enjoying a spring in which white temple flowers were blooming in Kandy, my new home. But for some reason, Santa was here. A beautiful blond, blue-eyed man slipped in and out of sight, but his outward appearance was that of Santa Claus. It was the kind of Santa costume that you could buy at the costume section of any mass retailer. One of the sad things about unmatched beauty was the fact nobody could actually claim that his natural beauty was ruined by the look. The brilliance of his blue eyes, which looked like they could suck you in, was the same as ever.

“I am Santa Claus. I came from the North Pole.”

“But now’s a hot time of the year.”

“Santa Claus is a symbol of summer in the Southern Hemisphere. I do not think it is particularly strange.”

“T-That might be true. Well, then... what’re you doing?”

“Santa does what Santa does. The tradition of Santa Claus, much like the language of jewels, has a wide variety of legends to it depending on the region, but either way, the role of a saint who grants blessings to little children, women and those in need is a guise commonly demanded in society. And for you, here it is.” Saying this, “Santa” offered me a plastic, loose stone display case that I was all too familiar with. There was a red stone stuck between the cushion and transparent lid. “Can you identify this gemstone?”

“Tourmaline, I guess. Red tourmaline.”

“Good for you. Did you know that it has one more name?”

“Rubellite.”

“Perfect. Large, pinkish-red tourmalines are called by that name, and it is a stone of which huge carved crystals have been loved as works of art, such as the amulet of Empress Dowager Cixi and the Romanov royal treasure, the ‘Strawberry Pendant’.”

As I peeked at the stone inside the case, humming that it was pretty, the beautiful jeweler cleared his throat and started over.

“Just as people’s feelings dwell within beautiful stones, this one is filled with the feeling of celebrating the start of your new life, from your family back in Japan, your friends and your superior at work, with whom you have a relationship other than the aforementioned and that neither of us knows how to define. Santa is wholly thankful for being in the position to bestow you with such a gift. I forgot to say it, but happy birthday. Nakata Seigi-san. I sincerely pray, all the way from my home in the Arctic, that this year will be a fruitful one for you.”

“Thank you. Seriously, thank you for always, Richa...”

“Santa. I am a passing Santa.”

“Then let’s go with that. By the way, if you’re Santa, where are the reindeers?”

When asked this, the man in disguise answered with a cool gaze that the reindeers were using stealth technology nowadays so that they wouldn’t be found by radars, hence they couldn’t be seen. He had it down to the details.

“It’s been about ten years since the last time Santa-san came around. I’ll take good care of this. Santa-san, you take care of your body too. I’ll ask my boss next time I see him about the person who gave you this stone.”

“You should. Well, then.” With a bow, Santa left for a car parked in the courtyard. I probably wasn’t supposed to see him off. I’d feel bad for the stealth reindeers.

The red stone stayed in my hand.

I had told a white lie. It hadn’t been ten years since Santa had last showed up. This was the first time ever since I was born. In my home, there was always someone playing the role of “Santa”, such as Hiromi, Grandma and Nakata-san, so they never tried to tell me nice lies. Nakata-san probably just followed Hiromi’s way of doing things, though. The fact I thought up something like that last December, when Jeffrey asked me what I “wanted most”, might not have been unrelated to this. At any rate, to me, not even once was there any supernatural existence who would leave toys by my bedside if I were a good kid. Until this day.

After a while of standing by the garden, where it was always summer, and listening closely to the cries of birds with my eyes closed, I unlocked my phone. The Wi-Fi range of the house seemed good, and so I could send e-mails immediately. The contents were simple. The destination was my boss, Richard.

“Santa came to my place. But he left so quick that I couldn’t make him tea.”

The reply soon came: “Are you half-asleep?”

If he really thought that I was half-asleep, then maybe I should delay the reply for a few more minutes, I thought, but I didn’t write anything further. The house’s cleaning was half-assed and I had to check the security. I also wanted to know as many of my neighbors as could.

Together with the feeling that I had suddenly been given something I had forgotten, and that I didn’t even know I had forgotten, I put rubellite in the jewelry safe and stepped out into the Sri Lankan provincial city. I had nothing to fear and no hesitation. The ill feeling that I’d be living here alone had disappeared. After all, Santa had come by. Far from elementary school, I was now an adult who had already graduated from university, and it currently wasn’t December but May, where the only anniversary I could think of was my own birthday, yet Santa had come by. Such an impossible thing had happened.

So I could do my best, I thought.

And so, I could be getting ahead of myself, but I began thinking about my plans for this December. Would there be a second chance for Santa to appear? If not, I wanted to make one. I decided to fuss over the outfit a little more and prepare proper gifts this time. Then I’d tell him stories about jewels and try to make him laugh a lot. That, too, was Santa’s duty.

[starksvixen]

Best Shot - Part 3

Warnings: severe injury to reader, lots of angst, mentions of sexuality (no smut), swearing, violence

Word Count: 2456

Prologue - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 (finale)

2 weeks. It had been 2 weeks since you had left Jay’s apartment and crashed at Connor’s. Things at the station hadn’t been the same with you and Jay at odds. You still kept things civil, but every time you both left from work, Halstead would give you a piece of his mind. Why you shouldn’t be staying with Connor. Why you should just come back home. He would almost have you convinced, but you knew him too well. Jay would always hold something back and you could tell. What you mistook as his arrogance against apologizing was him holding back from saying those three little words. Nevertheless, you still would part ways with him and spend most of your nights with Conner.  

You rummaged through your small duffel bag you had packed from your and Jay’s apartment, trying to find anything that didn’t have bullet holes or were permanently stained. After these past weeks, you were left with only one outfit left.

“(Y/N), I know this is tough, but you gotta make a decision.” you hear Connor say as he leans against the doorway to the living room. 

Looking over to him, you see one of his minimalistic mugs in hand, filled with a steaming liquid. In only sweatpants from your last...session, he looked like a perfectly handsome mess. Connor Rhodes was the perfect guy. Good job, smart, sarcastic, sweet, caring, unbelievably good looking. But deep down you knew he was too perfect. You wanted your fucked up boy from the army who would lay his life on the line for you in a heartbeat. The guy who made mistakes with you but would always return to make things right. You wanted Jay Halstead. 

“Think you can spare some room for me here?” you ask with a half hearted smile.

“I always will. But both you and I know this won’t last because you took the easy way out. You’re always going to want-”

“Him...” you whisper as your hand graces over one of Jay’s shirts that had found its way into your bag. 

Gently, you pick up the worn out garment and run your fingers along the collar. Even without pressing your face to it, you knew it would smell like him. Smell like home. 

“Need a ride?” Connor asks softly. 

Shaking your head, you quickly pack up and grab your keys. Before leaving Connor’s apartment, you turn to him with a sad smile. 

“I’m sorry, I know this probably didn’t turn out like you wanted it too.”

“No hard feelings, this was temporary. And it was lots of fun. But you both deserve to be happy.” he replies with a smile.

You smile too and nod before leaving and going to your car. After throwing your duffel in the back and yourself into the driver’s seat, you were on your way home. 

Parking in the same spot as you always did, you turn and pull the keys from the ignition as your eyes scan over the building. The living room light was still on, a small flickering every now and then telling you that Jay was probably watching the Hawks game. 

You step out with a deep breath, bag in hand, your exhale crystallizing into fog from Chicago’s chilly winter weather. Walking towards the door, you unlock it with the keys you have and walk in, dropping your duffel by the door. 

“Will, I’m not in the mood.” you hear Jay say from your living room. 

Softly walking in, you see the small collection of beers that hadn’t taken Jay’s edge off strewn around him. The dark circles you had seen develop over the past weeks looked so much darker now. Tears filled your eyes at the realization that he was right, you were letting your extra feelings get in the way of what matters. Your friendship.

“It’s not Will, Jay,” you say. 

Jay quickly twists from his lounging position to see you. It’s like he couldn’t stand up fast enough as he rushes towards you, pulling you into a tight hug. Gently, you wrap your arms around him in a friendly way, holding him close to you. 

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N).” you hear him mumble.

“Enough of that, I’m home now.” 

He pulls away just a touch, your faces proximity making your cheeks light up like red bulbs from Christmas lights. For a moment, you wish that he take that one step forwards. That his lips dance with yours when danger isn’t looming. But your wishes are futile as he takes more steps away from you.

“I’ll get you a beer,” he says as he backs away more, clearing up all the empty beer bottles before disappearing into the kitchen. 

You only nod before plopping yourself on the end of the couch you claimed as yours. Soon enough, Jay returned with two beer bottles, sitting on his end of the couch while tossing a blanket over to you. You take both gratefully, sipping your beer while curling up into the soft material.

Two beers turned into twenty, giving both of you a slight buzz. The Hawks game had changed to Brooklyn Nine Nine. The space between you and Jay had shrunk as you cuddled together on the couch peacefully. Your tipsy laughter fills the apartment, contrasting the blue light from the TV with warmth. 

Your soft whine when the show switches from the cop comedy to Seinfeld only makes Jay laugh more. You smack his chest playfully, quickly sitting up to meet his face. 

“How dare you giggle at my misery. Halstead,” 

“Oh whatever, stupid, it was cute and I’m allowed,” he replies with a smirk.

“Oh, so I’m stupid then cute?”

“Will you shut up so we can watch the show?” 

“Make me.”

You will never regret saying those two words.

In a blur, Jay snatches your hips and pulls you onto his lap. The distance between you two closed as he leans up and captures your lips with his. Shocked, you gasp but quickly return the kiss, your hand working their way from his chest to his face. 

His hands somehow find their way under your shirt, on your lower back, pulling you closer into his chest. Working your hands away from his head, you tug at the collar of his shirt from behind his neck. 

Another blur and Jay is standing with you in his arms before disappearing into his room with you.

-~- 

The bright light streaming in from Jay’s windows pierces your brain, making you groan slightly from the mild hangover you had...again.

But my were you glad you were. 

As soon as you tried to slip out of bed to get some aspirin, two strong arms pulled you closer into a chest. Turning around, you see Jay half asleep with a goofy smile on his face. A sense of relief flooded over you, he remembered the night before. And he didn’t seem to regret it either.

“You gotta let me go, lover boy,” you mumble as you run a hand through his messy hair. 

“Nooo,” he whines, puling you even tighter to him causing you to giggle.

“We are gonna be late and Voight will be pissed,” 

“God, fine, but you owe me when we get home,”

He reluctantly releases you into the cold air of the apartment. With ease, you steal his shirt laid on the floor and slip it over your naked self. Looking behind you, you catch a glimpse of him getting out of bed. Memories of the night before flooded your mind, making you bite your lip and a blush to spread across your face. 

“Can I help you?” he asks while slipping on a pair of sweatpants, a tired smirk on on his face.

“Hmm, maybe when we get home.” you say with a wink before walking out of the room.

-~-

A couple of months later and both of you still have a jump in your step walking into work. The squad originally thought it was because you had finally gone home to Jay. But when your giddiness hadn’t died down over the weeks, bets were quickly placed. 

Sitting at your desk, you take a sip of coffee and begin to fill out paperwork on your laptop. From across the room, you could feel Halstead’s eyes on you. Subtly looking over at him, you see his eyes on the hickey forming on your neck just below your jaw. With a smirk, you tuck your hair out of the way, putting the bruise on full display. You watch as Jay’s bottom lip gets tucked beneath his teeth and you send a soft wink his way. 

Just in time, you look away to see Voight rushing downstairs, armed in tactical gear.

“We’ve got a hostage situation at Bleeker Street Bank. All of Intelligence needs to be there, this seems to link back to our case against Diaz,” Voight quickly says to the squad.

Jumping out of your seat, you rush to the locker room and quickly suit up. Walking out with your gun case, you hear Voight assign you and Halstead on the opposing roof as snipers. With a nod, you both rush out to his beast of a truck.

The entire ride there, he kept a gentle hand on your thigh but you could tell he was on edge. You both hated when the other had to go into a highly dangerous situation, but it was part of your job. As he parks, you quickly lay your hand on his cheek and turn his face towards you. Gently, you lay a quick but deep kiss on his lips. Once he pulls away, his eyebrow shoots up and smirk appears on his face. 

“What was that for?”

“To get you to calm down,”

You smirk and get out, grabbing your gun case from the back and making your way up to the roof of the opposing building. Once you’re stationed, you quickly set up the gun and aim the scope at the open window. You have a clear view of the hostages in the room but no sign of the offender.

“You got eyes on the offender?” you ask Jay, not moving from your spot.

No response.

“Jay?” 

Suddenly, you feel a blade against your throat, making you tense up but your hands refuse to move from your gun.

“Come on, pretty girl. You and your friend are gonna pay for what you did to Diaz.” 

Gripping tightly onto your gun, you snap your head back, hitting your captor in the crotch with your head. He stumbles back, but not without his blade cutting your neck a bit. Gritting your teeth through the pain, you use both hands to hit your offender in the face with your heavy rifle. Quickly, he flies to the ground, unconscious from the hit. 

That’s when you hear the click of another gun, most likely aimed at you.

Slowly, you turn your head to see another guy with a gun in hand. This time, it wasn’t aimed at you. It was aimed towards Jay’s head as he held him a death grip.

“Let him go...” you growl.

“Nuh - uh, sweet heart. You and your friend are coming with us. Drop the rifle.”

Quickly, you let go, the clatter of the powerful gun making the man in front of you relax a bit.

“He had nothing to do with this,” you reply, raising one hand and slowly moving your other that was concealed from him towards your back where your pistol lay. 

“He was an accomplice, got Quentin into the spot where you needed to shoot. So nah, he’s coming with us.”

Jay’s eyes widen at the sight of your hand gripping tightly onto your gun before you whip it out, aiming it at the additional captor. At the same time, the gruff looking man moves his aim away from Jay and towards you. Jay desperately tries to break the man’s hold on him before it’s too late.

“I said let him go!” you yell, your anger increasing at the situation.

“Move one more step and I’ll shoot!” he replies.

“Go ahead, because you can bet your ass I won’t miss!” 

The tip of your gun is aimed directly at his head and you take a sharp inhale as your finger moves to the trigger. 

“Drop him!” you yell again.

“Put the gun down!” 

Exhale and shoot. 

But more then one gun goes off at the same time. Adrenaline runs through your veins like a mustang as you watch the guy drop dead beside an unharmed Jay.

“Told you I don’t miss,” you say as you shakily lower your pistol. Wait, why were you shaking?

Looking down, you see blood pooling on the white shirt underneath your bullet proof vest. He’d gotten you right below the ribs, right where your body was exposed from the vest when you had your arms up.

“(Y/N)!” Jay yells as he rushes over to you. 

Blood pours through the shirt as you drop your gun, applying pressure to the wound as the metallic liquid pours through your fingers like water. The amount of blood you were losing and how fast it was pouring out makes your legs weak. Too weak, as they collapse under you, your body hitting the gravel roof as everything blurs. 

“This is Jay Halstead, officer down! We need paramedics on the roof of the north building immediately!” 

“C’mon, baby, you can’t leave me now.” Jay’s voice echoes in your head.

His hands are over yours as he helps keep pressure on the wound. You simply smile through the pain, moving one bloodied hand from underneath his and laying it on top of the pile. 

“I love you,” you say, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as your eyelids get too heavy to hold open.

- Jay’s POV - 

“(Y/N)?” I ask shakily, tears flooding my eyes in a faster pace then before. When she doesn’t answer, it’s like a punch to the gut over and over.

“(Y/N), stay with me! Wake up, baby, please!”

I push harder on her wound as her body begins to go limp. Paramedics arrive, bracing her and carrying her into the ambulance as I follow close behind. Both of us ride in the back of the ambo as it races to Med. Paramedics work around me as I hold onto her hand with both of my mine, tears breaking up the blood stained on my face. 

As they race her into the ED, I see Rhodes eyes widen at who his next trauma patient was before quickly getting to work. She disappears into the ED as Will races out and towards me. All I can seem to do is sit against the tail end of the ambo, staring off into space. 

“Jay, man, what happened? Are you hurt?” Will asks.

“I never got to tell her I love her back.” 

Tag List: (leave a comment to be added)

nocturnalherb16  weepingfestivalmentality  ikleesfiction  annaallicce  panaitbeatrice  shipshipshipau

[intomymindspace]

Like or Like Like ✰ Azumane Asahi

Like or Like Like by Miniature Tigers

azumane asahi x gn reader

Through the Summer and the Fall // Haikyuu!! Songfic Series

a/n: oya oya all 😌 welcome to my very first haikyuu fic! I started watching it after finishing season 3 of attack on titan and I um 🥺 love it 🥺 so this is what happens. I make a whole damn playlist about these boys. Anywayyyyys, here y'all are. The haikus used are ones I found on Pinterest by JS Parker - I did not write them and I do not own them so please don’t kill me, I can’t write good haikus for the life of me. Thank you once again for reading and taking the time to support me and my work. The next fic in the series will be Daddyichi!

Warnings: none other than asahi and his crippling shyness

It was the perfect summer weather for a beach day - and it was a perfect way to end a week’s worth of summer training. The beach was just a two hour drive from the school, and by the time the buses had arrived, it was only ten in the morning. As the Karasuno boys excitedly clambered out of the bus, they greeted players from the other schools and began pulling supplies to set up at the beach.

Asahi was too distracted by watching you through the bus window from below that Suga managed to hit him in the stomach, causing the tall brunette to double over, sputtering in surprise. “S-suga-san!” He was met with laughter from the silver-haired boy and their captain.

I watched you through your window

I was wearing that dumb sweatshirt

“Whatchya lookin’ at, Asahi-san?” His face immediately turned beet red, his eyes going wide as he realized how easily he was caught. “I - nothing! It’s just hot!” As Suga playfully hummed in response, Daichi slapped Asahi’s back hard.

“No wonder you look like a tomato! I can’t believe you’re wearing that right now.” He looked down at the ivory-colored sweater you had knit him as a gift from the previous Christmas. Even while Daichi had a knowing smile on his lips, Asahi wore a slight frown. “Hey, I happen to like it.” Their response was a cohesive snicker.

“Just don’t forget to take it off later.” Suga said, winking. “Now hurry up, let’s get all the stuff set up.”

I looked like a goon, I was dressed for winter

Even though it was the middle of June

Once everything had been set up on the beach, everyone got down to business making sure that they wouldn’t get sunburnt. Asahi’s eyes were wide as he caught you pulling your shirt off and shimmying your shorts off to reveal your swimsuit. You were happily chatting with Kiyoko and Yachi as they had just done the same - and he couldn't help but stare. You looked really cute in your swimsuit. As your head popped up, your eyes came into contact with his, and you gave him a wide smile without any hesitation.

He had been caught staring at you again! By no one other than yourself - yet he managed to send a nervous smile back to you before whipping his head away so that you hopefully wouldn’t notice how red his face looked.

“Oya, Azumane-san, you’re looking a bit red. Are you sick?” It was Kuroo who asked him - Nekoma’s tent being right next to Karasuno’s made it easy for the captain to see what was going on. At this point, it was fairly obvious to many players that Asahi had a thing for you. Asahi responded with a quick “I’m fine!” but it was clear to see that he was flushed because of you. They were all talking in a small group with Daichi, Suga, and Bokuto - and the boys smiled at each other deviously.

I watched you get undressed

I must have turned bright red

“Maybe you should go offer to help them put on some sunscreen, Azumane-san~” they didn't think Asahi could get even more red, but he did.

“What! Why?” Asahi immediately spun again to find you lathering up the front of your body - it seemed Kiyoko was too busy helping Yachi while being hounded by Nishinoya and Tanaka.

“Well, if you won’t, I certainly will! I gotta beat the crowd!” Asahi was going to get whiplash if he kept moving his neck that fast - it had been Bokuto who proclaimed that, an owlish grin on the boy’s face. Crowd? Asahi questioned himself - only to have it answered when he noticed a few other boys from Nekoma and Fukurodani begin to walk over in your direction. As Kuroo and Bokuto followed, his eyes turned into slits - Daichi and Suga could practically see the dark aura that was radiating off the ace’s skin.

'Cause I couldn't stand to face you

'Cause I liked what I saw

Asahi felt another jab into his side, waking him from his jealousy. He looked up to find mom and dad staring at him, an expecting look in their eyes. 

“Fine! Just because I don’t want them to do it…” he practically sprinted towards you.

You were already being bombarded by boys asking if they could help you - but with a friendly smile, you turned all of them down again and again. Out of all the voices, you turned your head to find Asahi had called your name as he stepped beside you and Bokuto behind him with a pout on his face. Asahi tried his best to keep his blush to a minimum, but he wished you didn’t look as cute as you did - mainly for his own sake.

“Wou-would you like me to help you? Get your behind?” his eyes widened. “I mean - your back. Your back. I put sunscreen on your back.” He cursed himself internally - why did he have to be a stuttering mess all the time? Especially in front of you.

And maybe we should just stay friends

Asahi only blushed harder as you smiled widely at him, handing him the bottle of sunscreen you were using.

“Thank you Sahi-kun!” Could the poor ace get any more red? He simply nodded as you turned your back towards him. Moving the sleeves of his sweater as high as possible, he squirted sunscreen into one of his hands. He smirked as he heard the sad groans and sighs as the group of boys walked away in defeat.

“Oh, wait!” You immediately turned around just as he was rubbing his hands together. Worried, his eyes widened. Did you not want him to do it anymore? He immediately heard a few footsteps from behind him change direction.

“You should take off your sweater before you get - oh!” You laughed as you found the tall boy staring at you with both his hands covered in sunscreen. 

“Here, Sahi-kun - I’ll help you take it off.” He heard another round of defeated sighs.

Tell me how you feel about me

Do you like or like, like me?

“Nononono! It’s okay! I’ll be fine, you don’t need to do that!” He was surprised by your forwardness, but passed it off as you being helpful.

“Don’t be silly! It’ll be awful to wash off - especially since I made it for you~” Asahi gulped as you said that, simply nodding his head at the speed of light. He felt like his ears were turning red as he felt the tips of your fingers brush against his abdomen as you grabbed the bottom of his sweater - you took it off him with ease, avoiding getting the sleeves covered in sunscreen. He couldn’t believe that you were undressing him. Folding it quickly and putting it in your bag for safekeeping, you turned your back towards him again, trying not to ogle his well-defined body.

Tell me what you really feel

Do you like me? Just say you do

Your skin felt so soft - even under his rough, calloused fingers. He had never touched you this intimately - despite you being very close friends with him. Perhaps it was because he had only given you shoulder massages when you had more clothes on - he immediately tried to block out any thoughts relating to your body. But it was hard! He was crushing on you so badly, and all he wanted was to appreciate and love all of you.

Love. It was a word he was quite familiar with when it came to you - and immediately he was once again struck with more anxiety. The love letter he had in his pocket last night had gone missing.

I climbed up your front porch

And I doorbell ditched ya

Asahi breathed in and out very deeply as he paced in front of the managers’ room. Psyching himself up, he stopped and knocked at the door. He felt the letter sticking out of his jacket pocket - it may have been as light as a crow’s feather, but it felt like a forty pound dumbbell. He perked up, and his eyes widened as he heard your voice from the other side of the door.

“Coming! One second!” His panic immediately began to set in - and he had no other choice but to flee. He couldn’t confess without the fear of blacking out - it didn't matter how many times he had practiced giving the letter to Suga. Little did he know that the letter had fallen as he ran.

And I felt so bad, couldn't cope to what I did

So I laughed myself sick all the way to my car

When you opened the door, you found no one there - you had thought it was probably one of the boys pranking you, but that was until you saw a small envelope a few feet away. Walking towards it, you saw that it had your name written on it as you picked it up. You let out a small hum as you walked back into the room.

“Is that what I think it is?” Kiyoko asked you, seeing the envelope in your hand as the other closed the door.

“I’m not sure - but let's find out!”

Tell me how you feel about me

Do you like or like, like me?

It was two simple haikus - and to make the guessing game even harder, there wasn’t a name.

I think of you, and

dream about you, in colors

that do not exist.

I’m choking on words

too scared to say: I love you.

I’ll tell you this way.

The eloquently written words made a blush rise to your cheeks as you wondered who could’ve possibly written it.

Tell me what you really feel

Do you like me? Just say you do

You were watching the boys play mixed matches of beach volleyball. Trying to keep your eyes off of Karasuno’s ace, you thought about who could’ve left you the love letter.

“Do you know who it is?” It was Yachi that had asked you, but you shook your head and she let out a small huff. “Do you have any hunches?” It was Kiyoko who asked the next question.

“Not at all! I don’t even know who it could’ve been! There are so many boys here, and so many have talked to me this week.”

“Maybe it’s Bokuto-san! Or maybe - ”

“Do you think it’s someone from Karasuno?” Your cheeks immediately tinted at the question.

“I don’t know,” you answered quietly. “But I hope so.” Your eyes immediately trailed back to Asahi, who was serving. The concentrated look in his eyes and the way his tanning skin glistened in the summer sun made a heavy blush rise to your cheeks. Little did you know that Suga had been listening in on your conversation from the sidelines - and he caught the way you looked at the ace.

Tell me how you feel about me

Do you like or like, like me?

“Oi, Dai-san! We need a plan.” When Asahi went to the bathroom during the late lunch, the captain immediately called for a team huddle. Daichi laid out a simple plan - one that required the team to make sure that no one was near the two of you.

“Will it work!?”

“Tch, it seems simple enough.”

“I can’t believe he still hasn’t done anything. It’s been at least two years.”

“We execute at sunset.”

Tell me what you really feel

Do you like me?

It was nearing sunset, and Yachi and Kiyoko had left you in the waist-high water to grab some water - and you could hear the voices of boys playing soccer on the shore. Just as the sun was beginning to set, the warmth began to dissipate as well - the ocean breeze not helping. While you wanted to get out of the water, you wanted to watch the sky change colors for just a little while longer. Kiyoko had taken your towel and Asahi’s sweater, which was still tucked away in your bag next to hers. Going up to Asahi, she quickly nudged the items into his hands, his face riddled in confusion.

“This is your time to go confess, Asahi-san. You can do it.” Asahi felt a blush creep up to his cheeks as his eyes glossed over. In the background, he could hear his teammates shoot tears from their eyes - not expecting her encouraging words to be a part of the plan. Maybe he had the strength to do it with his team cheering him on! With determination in his eyes, and a warm smile on his lips, Asahi slipped on the sweater and began walking towards you.

Tell me how you feel about me

Do you like or like, like me?

You heard your name being called out from behind you, and you turned to find Asahi standing at the edge of the water, your towel draped over his shoulder. Wading out of the water, you walked up to him as he gave you your towel to dry off.

“Thank you, Sahi-kun.” He still blushed at the endearment every time it fell from your lips - ever since you started calling him that as first years.

“Would… would you like to watch the sunset together?” He almost sighed in relief when you nodded - and you two walked a bit further away from the water. Setting down the towel, you both sat on top of it, your arms encircling your knees as your toes dug into the sand, Asahi leaning back, resting his weight on his arms.

You both sat in a comfortable silence as the sun slowly lowered, colors spreading across the sky and mixing beautifully. While you stared at the view in front of you, the only thing worth looking at in Asahi’s eyes was you. He was enraptured by the way the fading light was striking your features in every possible perfect angle, the way your hair moved slightly with the breeze, and the way you shivered slightly at the ocean’s chill.

Tell me what you really feel

Do you like me? Just say you do

His eyes widened - you were cold! His primal man instincts told him to warm you up, but his shy and gentle nature told him to abort mission - so Asahi compromised, and he immediately sat up and removed his sweater before drawing your attention away from the view.

“You must be chilly - please take my sweater.” There was a look in his eyes that you couldn't quite read properly, but nonetheless, you took the sweater from his hands and slipped it on, immediately being warmed by his radiating body heat. Trying not to ogle at his bare chest again, you decided to scoot closer towards him - so close to the point that your legs and arms rubbed against each other. You both kept your eyes on the sunset, pink dusting both your cheeks.

Asahi stayed sitting up, his hand pressing against the surface behind you so that he could stay close to your body. He couldn't resist the temptation to keep looking at you - and he strangely felt confident enough to have no shame in doing so. The way his oversized sweater somehow fit on your smaller figure so perfectly - draping over your shoulders and ending perfectly above the middle of your thighs. The sight of you in his sweater made his face flush, as it was a sight that left him wanting more of you in every single way.

“I think of you, and dream about you, in colors that do not exist.” His voice was low and soft as he recited the words from the love letter he had meant to give you. Your eyes widened in realization - it was no one other than Asahi himself who had written the letter. Looking at him, you continued the haiku, much to his surprise.

“I - I’m choking on words too scared to say,” you recited, your heart beating out of your chest. Those words had been scorched into your mind since the night before. Asahi let out a small gasp before realizing that he must have dropped the letter - this whole time he had been worried that someone had stolen it. He said your name, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I love you.” Both of you were blushing messes, but he knew it was his opportunity to shine. As he began to close the space between both your faces, he recited the last line, his lips so dangerously close to yours. “I’ll tell you this way.”

As his lips touched yours for just a mere second, he pulled away to look into your eyes. You knew from the look in his eyes that he was asking if you wanted more - if you wanted him to be yours. You met him halfway to the kiss - and your lips felt like they were lighting on fire as they moved with his. Asahi moved his idle hand to cup just below your jaw - his fingertips dancing at the nape of your neck as his thumb traced your jaw. He felt the way you melted into his hand and lips like you were chocolate. Before going deeper into the kiss, Asahi pulled away, his forehead gently nudging yours as his breathing deepened.

“Will you… be mine? If you’ll have me?” You looked into his mocha eyes to find that the unreadable look he had been giving you all this time was one of pure love. Asahi waited for your response - his heart hammering away in his chest. You smiled brightly, unable to control your happiness as you lunged to hug him, your arms wrapping around his warm torso.

“Of course I will.”

Thank you for reading!

~ Crystal :3

through the summer and the fall series masterlist

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buy me a ko-fi (but only if you can and want to)!

BONUS

The bus ride back to Karasuno was quiet - the boys were exhausted, most of them sleeping or keeping to themselves with soft conversations. You had fallen asleep rather quickly - your head resting comfortably in Asahi’s warm chest as his arms were wrapped around you - the ace using his jacket as a makeshift pillow for his head between the seat and the window. 

Suga giggled sweetly as he took out his camera to snap a few photos of Karasuno’s new power couple cuddling on the bus, wrapped in each other’s embrace. He made sure to keep them to show his future godchildren.

[alolowrites]

The Helpful Elf

Summary: The Hippity Hop Cat toy is the toy on every kid’s wish list this year, including Eri’s. With the toy flying off the shelves, you desperately ask Mirio, the Helper Elf at Hazuki’s ToyLand, for help. And Mirio doesn’t give up, especially when it comes to you.

Author’s Note: Hello everyone!!! Real life is being a pain right now, but I’m so glad I managed to finish this story right on time! It’s pretty long (for me lol) and it’s my first with Mirio so yay!! I also wrote it for the BNHASanctuary discord server’s winter collab (first time I ever participated in any collab), so I’m very excited about this. I’ll link and share the masterlist once it’s up. I can’t wait to read everyone else’s stories :D 

Please enjoy!

Word Count: 2.5K+

With October long gone and December in full swing, it meant one thing—the official start of the jubilant holiday season. Every year, Japan’s most iconic department store in Tokyo, Hazuki’s, transformed its ten floors into a magical winter wonderland. Around the country and around the globe, customers ushered through the doors to catch a glimpse of the glamorous store glittering with festive decor. 

Dazzling lights twinkled around the window displays that stretched around the block. Vibrant ornaments hung high above the ceilings like luxurious bubbles. And pine garlands peppered with red berries wrapped themselves along any rails that ran off forever. 

Hazuki’s was the place to kick start the holiday season and the one place to find everything and anything on one’s holiday shopping list. Especially the highly coveted toy of the year—the Hippity Hop Cat. 

Or so you thought. 

“Mirio!” 

“Huh?” Said man’s elf hat jingled when he looked away from his display. His blue eyes beamed at the sight of you. Mirio chirped out your name as you rushed forward, nearly knocking him over. “Whoa, you alright?” 

“I need your help,” you blurted out, catching your breath at the same time; those pesky escalators were no use at all. Mirio offered to get water, but you waved him off. “No, no…no time for water. I need your help. It’s urgent!” 

“Uh, sure, what can I do?” 

“I need a toy, but not just any toy.” Mirio blinked when you suddenly inched closer to him. You scanned the area as though someone was lurking around to eavesdrop on your top-secret conversation. “It’s the Hippity Hop Cat, you know—” 

“The cat whose hops are out of this world?” 

“Yes, that one!” You clung to his shoulders like a desperate parent trying to find some shred of sanity in this chaotic store. Shaking the blonde man, you begged, “Please tell me you have one in stock?”

“Oh man,” Mirio scratched his forehead as he recalled the inventory from this morning. He glanced at your hopeless eyes and tight fists curling on his work uniform. There was no way Mirio could leave you hanging like this; it didn’t feel right. So he flashed you his famous smile that outshone the star twirling above you both. “Come with me. I’ll check in our system.”

“Gosh, you’re a lifesaver.” 

Mirio humbly rubbed his neck as he led the way to the backroom. You eyed the uproarious floor covered with thousands of toys that rivaled Santa’s Workshop in the North Pole. It was like walking through a child’s dream. Every toy imaginable—dolls, electric cars, robots, board games, you name it—was here. Hopefully, that stayed true with the Hippity Hop Cat. 

The door closed, muffling the sounds of frantic parents buzzing through the aisle. Mirio typed away on the keyboard as you paced behind him. You cursed yourself for procrastinating this long to buy the prized toy. Christmas was in less than two weeks!

“So who’s the gift for?” 

“Oh!” His deep voice pulled you back to the present. You walked forward with folded arms, anxiously hugging yourself. “It’s for Eri, a sweet little girl my next-door neighbor, Shouta, adopted earlier this year. She had a rough upbringing, but fortunately, she’s living with someone who cares for her deeply.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

“Yeah,” you smiled softly at Mirio, making his fingers freeze above the keyboard. That smile of yours took his breath away; he nodded but secretly tried controlling his heart that beat like a bass drum. It was difficult since you were so close to him. “This will be Eri’s first Christmas, and she wants the Hippity Hop Cat; I told Shouta I would buy it for her, helping ease some pressure off his shoulders.”

“That’s really thoughtful of you.” Mirio admired everything about you. He was absolutely smitten with you ever since you started working in the perfume department. Mirio sometimes strolled through the floor during his breaks just to catch a glimpse of you. After scrolling through the computer, the blonde man frowned. “Hmm…looks like we’re out of stock. And the next shipment won’t come until the twenty-first.” 

You groaned. “Man, that’s cutting it close; you think you can hold one for me? I can buy it during my break or after work.” 

“I’ll try my best.”

“Thanks, Mirio.” You squeezed his shoulder, and he shuddered at the touch. Glancing at your watch, you said, “I gotta go before Nemuri wonders where I am. But thanks for helping out!” 

“Sure!” He saw you slip out the door in a hurry; you throw an apologetic smile for good measure. Pushing the elf hat further up, Mirio chuckled, “No problem.”

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

Okay, so maybe there was a slight problem.

Santa Claus was still around town, and Mirio was placed on “elf duty” to help out with the pictures. Don’t get him wrong, the sunshine man adored children as much as the jolly old man who lived in the North Pole. However, Mirio realized he couldn’t guard the Hippity Hop Cat for you. All he could do was pray that one miraculously stayed on the shelf until you bought it. 

A flash went off, snapping Mirio back to his job. He smiled brightly, guiding the kid off Santa’s lap and ushering the next one to the chair. Nearly every parent in Japan was here today, the line looping around the store. Other customers, not visiting Santa, shopped as well, making the place extra crowded today. Yet, none of them were you, and that worried Mirio. 

“Ho, ho, ho, it was nice meeting you, sweetie!” 

Oh right! Mirio needed to focus, but it was hard knowing you weren’t here yet. All Mirio wanted to do was make people happy, especially you. After the sweet story you shared with him, he was more determined than ever to get you that toy. His blue eyes glanced at the bearded man in the red coat—could he help? Who knows. 

As Mirio waved goodbye to each kid, you stumbled off the escalator, face flushed as though you ran fifty flights of stairs. You glanced around the packed floor, dodging an airplane that whizzed by and brushing against the sea of customers to find Mirio. The blonde elf locked eyes with you and flashed a relieved grin; the grueling wait was over. 

And so was his duty with Santa Claus, what luck! Mirio marched over to you, placing a gentle hand on your back and guiding you to the aisle. “I was worried you wouldn’t come.” 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a robot’s arm. “The perfume department was swamped with tourists and other people. I practically had to beg Nemuri to let me slip away for a few minutes so I could buy—” Turning the corner, you gasped in disbelief at the empty shelves before choking out, “—the toy.”

Mirio blew a low whistle; people were snatching these toys off the shelves like no tomorrow. Still, he wouldn’t give up just yet. “C’mon, maybe there’s some left in stock.” 

“You sure?” 

“Can’t hurt to try, right?” Mirio flashed you a boyish smile, blue eyes brimming with determination. You nodded and followed him through the elaborate maze of this chaotic toy store. 

However, just as you both passed by the cash register, someone bellowed out: “That’s the last Hippity Hop Cat, sir. Thank you for shopping at Toyland; have a nice day!” 

No! You screeched to a halt. Your eyes watched as the man grabbed his bag and left the store with an exhausted but relieved face. Without thinking, you slammed against the counter, scaring the young green-haired employee who clutched his uniform. Leaning forward, you desperately half-whispered, “Please tell me what you said wasn’t true!” 

“I-I’m sorry?”

“The toy!” You frantically gestured to the exit, the man now long gone. “Please tell me you have another Hippity Hop Cat for sale!” 

“U-Um, I, uhh, well,” Midoriya stammered until his eyes spotted a familiar face behind you. The nervous man sighed in relief, knowing he was saved. “Mirio!”

“Hey, Izuku, sorry about that,” Mirio bashfully chuckled and clasped your shoulder to calm you down. The blonde man quickly introduced you to his co-worker, adding, “They’re trying to buy the Hippity Hop Cat, but are you sure that was the last one in stock?” 

“Yeah, it was. I’m sorry.” 

“Oh…oh, okay…” Your shoulders drooped like a sad puppy; you were too late. After saying a quick apology, you numbly dragged your feet toward the exit as a gray cloud formed over your head. A warm hand stopped you from going any further, and you blinked up. “Huh, Mirio, what’s wrong?”

“You alright?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” you dismissed his concerns, but he wasn’t convinced; your eyes told a different story. Still, you mustered a brave face with a faint smile. “Listen, I appreciate everything you did. I knew it was a longshot getting the toy, so don’t sweat it, really.”  

“I know, I just,” he sucked in a breath, “I just wished I could have helped you out more. Especially since you wanted to make Eri happy.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get her something else.” You squeezed his bicep when Mirio opened his mouth to interject; he faltered slightly at the brief touch. “It’s fine, really. I’m sure Eri will love any toy for her gift; I promise.” 

Mirio nodded, watching you leave the store and disappearing within the crowd. You said everything was fine, but he knew that wasn’t true. That fake smile of yours spoke volumes. There has to be a way to get that toy, Mirio pondered, rubbing his chin and staring at the floor with furrowed eyes. 

Suddenly, an idea popped inside his head just as a jingle bell chimed behind him. A white smile stretched across Mirio’s face. The idea was crazy, maybe a longshot, too, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Mirio whipped out his phone and searched through his contacts until he landed on a specific name. 

The line started ringing...and ringing...and ringing when—

“H-Hi, Mirio.”

“Hey, Tamaki!” The blonde man beamed like the sun. He lowered his voice, cupping the phone for secrecy while walking away. “Listen, buddy. I know you’re busy and all, but I got a huge favor to ask…” 

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

“…you think you can do it?” A small puff of breath floated out of your lips as you stepped away from the revolving doors. You stood beside a colorful window display of tiny elves grinning from ear to ear, their eager hands holding toys for the good boys and girls. One elf balanced himself at the tippy top of Santa’s mountainous red bag, his green gloves clutching the pointy hat for dear life. 

You smiled, appreciating the creative design before saying, “I can close the following week...yeah...okay, awesome, thanks again!”

Crisis one averted. Crisis two was up for debate, mainly because you held a shopping bag with Eri’s gift. It wasn’t the Hippity Hop Cat, but a nice small plushy cat toy instead. You bought it just a few minutes ago after wandering through the aisles at Toyland. The plushy cat toy wasn’t a bad second choice; it was adorable and incredibly soft to the touch. But it wasn’t the toy you wanted to give for Eri’s first Christmas. 

Oh, well, you sadly thought, biting the inside of your cheek. You stared at the elves again, realizing that their costumes matched Mirio’s work uniform in Toyland, down to the funny little hat. Mirio somehow pulled it off well thanks to his bubbly personality and warm heart that could melt the North Pole's snow. 

At one point, you wondered if Mirio was even there since you didn’t see him at the store today. You assumed he was doing inventory, but Midoriya said Mirio took the day off after a last-minute “personal obligation” came up, and it was too important to ignore. Must have been serious, you sighed as the shopping bag rustled against the wind. 

You braced your coat, hissing as the cold air sliced across your cheeks. Yup, it was time to go unless you wanted to freeze out here. Shuffling away from the window display, you stopped when someone screamed your name. Glancing over, you saw Mirio running toward you with one arm waving high in the air. 

“Hey!” Mirio finally caught up to you, his face flushed and nose redder than Rudolph’s, yet he kept on smiling. “So glad I found you!” 

“Whoa, you alright?” Now it was your turn to be concerned, just like he was when you rushed into the store to ask about the Hippity Hop Cat toy. Mirio nodded enthusiastically, squashing your worries away. “Midoriya said you were busy with a ‘personal obligation’ today. Is everything okay?” 

“Oh yeah, everything is great!”

“Well, that’s, um, great.”

“So, listen, about the Hippity Hop Cat toy—” 

“Mirio, I told you not to worry about it,” you butted in, shaking your shopping bag with the plushy cat. “I went ahead and bought something else for Eri and—”

“Ta-da!” 

You went radio silent, staring in disbelief at the surprise. Sitting in Mirio’s hands was the one and only Hippity Hop Cat toy. The number one toy that was on every kid’s wish list, yet rarer to get than Willy Wonka’s Golden ticket. That toy was now only a few inches away from you. 

“B-But how?!” The words finally fumbled through your lips, flickering your gaze between the toy and Mirio while stumbling forward a bit. “It’s sold out everywhere!” 

“Let’s just say I pulled some strings with Santa’s workshop,” Mirio cheekily grinned like one of the elves from the window display. You choked out a laugh, dropping the shopping bag so you could hold the boxed toy; it felt wonderful in your hands.

You looked up with eyes softer than freshly fallen snow. Mirio continued talking up a storm, his arms flailing wildly like an excited kid who discovered something new. The delicate holiday lights flickered around you both, casting a lovely glow that was as bright as the joy twinkling inside Mirio’s eyes. 

They were always so welcoming that, without thinking, you gave him a crushing hug. Mirio froze, his arms hanging mid-air as he slowly processed what was happening. After a few seconds, his shoulders relaxed, and his strong arms eagerly wrapped around you, holding you in place. Even with that thick coat of yours, you felt very soft that his heart soared to new heights. 

“Thank you, Mirio,” you whispered near his ear, giving him another squeeze. But you didn’t stop there. A sudden urge came over you, and in a bold move, you planted a sweet kiss on his cheek. Pulling away, you bit back a laugh at his flustered face. “You really are the best Helpful Elf I know.” 

“Well, you know me,” he shot you a grin, “I’m always here to help.” 

“Is that so?” You tapped your cheek with your gloved finger. “Think you can help me gift wrap this toy, say tonight at my place?” 

“Luckily for you, I’m a whiz with wrapping paper.” 

Mirio’s hand wormed its way into yours, giving you a loving squeeze before joining you on your long walk home. The Hippity Hop Cat toy was the toy on every kid’s wish list this year, including Eri’s, whose first Christmas was officially saved. And it was all thanks to Mirio, the one and only Helpful Elf at Hazuki’s Toyland.

Thank you for reading!!

FicMas Fest 2020 Masterlist

[venicebitch1999]

Late Night Confessions

Pairing: Fezco/Reader

Summary: You and Fezco spend some time stargazing. Who will make the first move?

Warnings: Profanity, mentions of underage drinking and drug dealing.

A/N: Hey, y’all! This is my first writing I’ve actually posted, so bear with me. I love Fezco so much, he’s my fucking cinnamon apple and deserves more writings. Let me know what y’all think though! Feedback is always appreciated. ❤️ Much love.

You were currently driving out to your favorite weekend spot, the cliff about three miles out of town that overlooked the city. You and your best friend, Fezco, had made plans to meet up and stargaze. Every once in a while, when you two needed an escape, you would go to your favorite spot and observe the night sky. It wasn’t often that you did this, but you never passed the opportunity up. You loved these little moments with him.

Fezco had been in your life for close to seven years. You had met him the first day of seventh grade, and although people came and went throughout your school years, Fezco stayed by your side. Fezco, eventually, dropped out to help take care of his grandma. When money became tight, he started drug dealing. He thought this would scare you away for sure, but no. Best friends stuck together no matter what.

Eventually, you grew to love him, beyond just friends. He was charismatic, polite, soft-spoken, and protective. He would take a bullet for you. Because you didn’t want to risk your friendship, you kept those feelings to yourself. He had enough on his plate already.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Fezco’s car parked near the cliff’s edge. You were so in love, even the sight of his car had you feeling giddy. You parked your car next to his and unbuckled your seatbelt. You knew he was already waiting for you at your usual spot, a grassy area farthest away from the road. You both thought this area was the best place to see the nighttime skies, as no trees or dirt were present.

You walked towards your spot and saw that he was already laying down on the blanket, looking upwards. You could hardly make out his figure, but you knew he looked just as good as ever. Hearing your footsteps approach, he turned to look at you. You smiled at him, placing your backpack with the radio you both used to play your tunes down, and greeted him with a shy “Hey, Fez.”

He moved over, giving you some room on the blanket to get comfortable and replied “What’s up, Y/N?”

Yep, you were right. He did look good. He was dressed in a simple long sleeved black shirt, gray sweatpants, and his favorite duo, socks and slides. How the hell did someone manage to look so fucking amazing in something so plain? You had no idea, but he did it with ease.

Fezco thought you looked amazing too. Your attire consisted of a cropped red sweatshirt, black leggings, and black high top converse. He couldn’t help but stare at you. You always looked beautiful.

Fez had had a crush on you for as long as he could remember. Before he had even officially met you, he’d seen you at school and thought you were one of the prettiest girls on the planet. The day he mustered up the courage to talk to you was the best day of his life, because that was the start of your friendship. Over the years, Fez watched you grow up. He was there when your first boyfriend broke your heart at winter formal sophomore year, even threatening to beat his ass afterwards. He was there when your parents separated. He was there when you graduated high school. He was there when you dropped out of college to help take care of your younger siblings after your dad’s alcoholism reached its peak. He was there for it all. Your friendship meant everything to him, so he never told you about his true feelings. He couldn’t lose you.

“Oh, you know, just getting ready to hang out with some loser.” you answered, with a wink.

He laughed sarcastically, “Ha ha ha, you think you cute or something, huh?” he said while he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, or something.” you sassed, pulling your speakers out of your backpack and connecting your phone to it before turning it on shuffle and laying down. The sounds of “Ribs” by Lorde started playing.

“No lie, I fuck with this kinda music.” Fezco admitted.

You smiled and looked up at the trillions of tiny, twinkling stars. “Yeah, I know. You haven’t complained once about my music.”

“It’s nice to hear new shit. I like all kinds of music, like that one chick. Uh, I think her name is Lana? Ion know, but she kinda fire.” he commented.

You gave him a little side-eye. “Del Rey?” you asked causing him to look at you.

“Oh yeah! Her. Yeah, she got some hits. Some of her shit got me sad as hell.” he said.

You laughed loudly, “More like all her shit.”

Fezco smiled and you both fell into a comfortable silence. Gazing up at the thousands of twinkling stars, you let your mind wander. You thought about your relationship with Fezco. Did it have the potential to be anything more? You wondered what it felt like to kiss him, to have his hands on your thighs, to feel his arm around your waist. You wondered what it felt like to be called his.

“So.. Rue told me something today.” Fezco said nervously, still looking upwards.

You quirked your eyebrow up, and looked at him. “What’s she gossiping about now?” you asked with a joking twinkle in your eye.

“Ion know if it’s true or what. She said she overheard it at last night’s party or some shit.” he claimed.

Fuck. Last night’s party was a trip, you hardly remembered it. “Spit it out, dude.” you pressed.

“Ight. Well, she said you was fucking around with Cameron Gates. She said someone saw y’all making out? Ion know, that’s just what she heard.” he finally said.

Your eyes widened. “Fuck, I was so drunk last night. I don’t even remember that. I mean, Cameron always tries to get with me at parties and shit, so I wouldn’t be surprised.” you admitted, feeling embarrassed.

“Cameron is a dick. I didn’t wanna believe it, but I mean, you do you.” he said icily. He could feel the jealousy creeping in. He didn’t like knowing other guys were into you.

You looked at him, a little confused at his tone. “Uh, okay? I mean, I’m not into him like that. I was just wasted. Besides, I’m 20. I’m allowed to make out with people if I want to,” you snipped. “I’m not even into guys like him anyways.”

Fezco snorted. “Whatever you say.” he said sarcastically.

“The fuck? We were just having a good time. What’s with you?” you asked him with a glare.

“I mean, you’ve only ever dated guys like him, so Ion know why you lying.” he pointed out.

Yeah, Fez was right. You dated a lot of guys that ended up being really shitty boyfriends who only wanted one thing. In your defense, the one guy that you did want to date had friendzoned you, so you had limited options.

“Yeah, well if I could date who I wanted to, I would’ve never dated those guys.” you said while sitting up. You didn’t like this conversation, you felt defensive.

Fezco followed your actions and looked at you. You looked angry, embarrassed, and hurt by what he said. He instantly felt bad for making you upset. You were right, you were having a good time. He just wanted to confirm what he’d heard. It was selfish, but he was bothered by it.

“I’m sorry, ma. I just don’t fuck with that Cameron guy. He only wants to fuck you and dip. You deserve more than that shit.” he said softly as he grabbed your hand and observed the rings on your fingers.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach. “Oh yeah? And what is it that I deserve?” you asked, with a little smile playing on your lips.

Fezco’s eyes met yours and he placed a tiny kiss on your ring finger. “You deserve everything good in life, Y/N. All the shit you’ve ever dreamed of having, you deserve it. You too good for all these dumbass guys around here.” he declared.

You looked at him and gave him a shy smile. You felt lost for words. Nobody had ever told you that before.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Fez letting go of your hand to trace the small tattoo on your exposed waist. “Can I ask you something?” he inquired.

You hated when people asked that question. Your anxiety heightened immediately. “Um, yeah. Go ahead.” you answered.

“You said you wanted to date someone earlier. Who was you talking about?”

Fuck. Should you tell him? It was always hard to lie to Fez. He knew immediately when you were bluffing. Lying would be obvious, no matter how hard you tried to mask it.

You stumbled over your words, trying to come up with a vague answer. “Um, I mean- Well, I-.. He’s uh- Fuck, I can’t talk right now.”

Fezco raised an eyebrow at you. “You about to lie,” he chided. “Lying ain’t ever get you anywhere with me, mamas. Might as well tell me the truth. I ain’t gonna tell nobody. You and Rue the only people I fuck with.”

You sighed loudly. “Okay. Fine. I’ll be honest, but like you gotta promise this won’t be weird, alright? You’re my best friend. I don’t want us to be awkward.”

He looked at your serious expression and nodded. “Ight, swear on my life.” Fezco was feeling nervous now. Why were you so serious?

You hesitated before speaking. “Um, okay. Uh. Well, the guy I like may or may not be you.” you finally managed to say.

Your face was beet red and your palms were sweaty. You watched as he looked into your eyes for any signs of a joke. He thought for sure this was a prank. There was no way you felt that way about him.

“Like deadass?” he asked, feeling nervous.

“Deadass.” you replied simply.

Wow, he never thought you’d felt that way about him before. He was for sure his love would always be unrequited.

“But it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I love our friendship. We can pretend this never happened.” you stated, feeling a little defeated by his silence.

He laughed. “Y/N, what the fuck? I been having a crush on you. Like ever since you walked onto the fucking playground that day at school and punched Nate Jacobs’ brother in the face for trying to kiss you.”

You were shocked. Holy shit. Fezco felt the same way? No fucking way. All these years, and neither one of you said a thing. How could you have been so clueless to one another?

“Oh my god. We seriously been having secret feelings for each other all these years? What kinda soap opera shit?” you laughed.

Fez laughed with you before taking your hand and kissing the palm. “Come’ere, ma. I wanna give you a kiss. I been waiting like ten years for this.” he admitted.

You moved closer to him and let him grab hold of your waist. You put your arms around his neck and looked him in the eyes. “Then kiss me.” you said.

He moved his head downwards and locked lips with yours. The fireworks that people claim to feel in movies? Yeah, that feeling is real. You had never been kissed with such passion and love before, and you definitely didn’t mind it. His hands moved to your lower back as he pulled you closer. He moved his lips from yours down to your neck, where he placed a chaste kiss to the spot behind your ear, before looking into your eyes with a smirk.

“How about we make this official, huh?” he said.

You laid back down, pulling him over your body. “Okay then, boyfriend.” you winked.

He leaned down to give you another kiss. “I like the sound of that, mamas.”

[law-of-excluded-middle]

we have to stop meeting like this - part four (of four)

I wrote (part of) a fic for the Witcher Bog (@thewitcherbog) Discord server's July fic train event! I'm really grateful to the Bog for this opportunity to ease gently into writing fanfic, since this is really new for me :')

I was the caboose of the fic train, so if you've been following along, I hope you enjoy how it ends! And thanks for reading!

–

Ship: Lambden

Rating: T

Summary: Lambert, an angry apartment-dweller, deals with an uninvited guest. Repeatedly.

Written for @thewitcherbog train event with @all-hail-the-witcher, @king-finnigan and @jaskierswolf

Words: 5k (part four: 1.5k)

Part one, two, three, four (this one!) - AO3

Aiden, apparently, did a little bit of everything.

“Mostly gig stuff. Food delivery, grocery shopping, odd jobs... I build people’s flatpack furniture for them,” he rattled off. “Cat-sitting,” he added when Bastard, who had just come back inside through the open window, slinked over to him and bumped her head against his shoulder.

Aiden looked at the cat with such tender adoration in his eyes that it made Lambert feel almost uncomfortably warm, and he had to look away as Aiden continued. “I do some regular work for the community garden downtown, and I’m part of a pottery co-op.”

“Pottery? What, d’ya, like, sell shit on Etsy?” Lambert said between slurps of noodles.

A wry smile played on Aiden’s lips. “No,” he answered. “But I usually put in some hours at the winter craft market, peddling mugs and decorative plates, that sort of thing.” He paused. “As far as seasonal work goes, I imagine it’s a better deal than selling Christmas trees in the Home Depot parking lot,” he said, his smile growing into a teasing grin.

“Whoa,” Lambert said, starting. He felt his pulse race. “How do – how do you know where I work? Have you seriously been stalking me?” For the first time, he felt genuinely apprehensive in the presence of his mysterious guest.

But Aiden just laughed. “You’re joking, right?” Lambert scowled, which made Aiden laugh some more. “Your apron is hanging on the rack by the door. Your bright orange apron.”

Lambert whipped his head toward the door, then jerked it back around, and Aiden let out another peal of laughter. Lambert’s face was so hot he felt sweat beading on his forehead. He clenched his teeth, puffing up to defend himself, or at least to say something cutting and uncharitable, draw the focus away from his own cartoonish overreaction.

But one look at Aiden, leaning back on his hands where they were planted on the floor behind him, his head tossed back, shoulders shaking, and Lambert’s chagrin vanished like smoke before he had a chance to get properly worked up. “Oh, blame me for being suspicious of the guy who keeps breaking into my place,” he grumbled.

Still grinning, Aiden cocked his head. “Haven’t we already been over this? I don’t break in, I have a copy of your key.” His eyes sparkled deviously. “You’ll never guess where I had it made.” He glanced pointedly toward the coat rack once again before meeting Lambert’s gaze, his mouth quirked playfully.

“What, at my Home Depot?” Lambert demanded incredulously. Aiden answered with a toothy smile. “Unbelievable,” Lambert huffed. “How did you – when did you even get your hands on my key to copy it? – No, never mind, I don’t even care. What I’m more interested to know is how the hell this all started.”

Aiden’s eyes widened innocently. “How what all started?” But then he broke into a grin – that mischievous grin that Lambert was too quickly getting used to, and growing fond of – and sighed, apparently settling in for a story. “Let’s see, the first time I was here, that was a few weeks ago, right?”

“Weeks? Weeks?” This was news to Lambert. He had only become aware of Aiden’s drop-ins in the last ten days or so.

“Ah, right, right – you know, I think it was actually three weeks ago to the day! Imagine that,” Aiden continued, smiling beatifically, as if Lambert hadn’t even spoken. “Well... this story does not paint me in the most flattering light, actually…”

“Imagine that,” Lambert echoed dryly. “The story of the first time you broke into my apartment – and that was a break-in, I don’t even want to hear you try to deny it – and you’re telling me you don’t come out looking like the hero?”

“I’m not sure I see what you’re getting at,” Aiden said primly, not looking at Lambert. “Well, the short of it is, I’d gotten into a bit of a disagreement with some gentlemen that evening, and that turned into more of a scrap, which quickly gave way to a brawl. And I decided that the most civilized thing for me to do was to bow out gracefully.”

“So, you ran away,” Lambert said, for clarification.

“Like a bat out of hell,” Aiden confirmed with a smirk that was somehow both arrogant and self-deprecating. Lambert felt warm again. “Look, it wasn’t my finest hour. These guys were big, and I’m pretty agile, but I know when I’m outmatched.”

Aiden paused to hum thoughtfully. “Now, you on the other hand…” he continued. “If it had been you in my place, I imagine you could have taken them.” He smiled a tiny, devious little smile and curled forward, reaching out to wrap a hand around Lambert’s biceps. It flexed in his grip and his smile grew wide. “Yes, I’m quite sure,” he purred.

Lambert felt very warm. “Yeah, I’m. Uh. I, I guess I’m pretty good in a scrap. I, you know, I.” He flexed his arm again. “Move a lotta wood.”

“I bet you do,” Aiden murmured, leaning even further into Lambert’s space and looking up at him through his dense, dark eyelashes.

“Lumber,” Lambert hastened to clarify. “At. Fucking – At Home Depot. You know. Dimensional lumber, and pressure-treated pine, and like six kinds of plywood. OSB. MDF. You name it.” He grimaced.

Aiden was openly delighted at how flustered Lambert was getting, but he seemed to take pity on him. With a parting squeeze, he let go of Lambert’s arm and resumed eating his noodles, the picture of innocence.

“Let’s see – right, so I made my strategic exit and found myself hiding up your fire escape. Saw this little one get in through a half-open window” – he scratched behind the cat’s ears and she rubbed her face against his hand shamelessly – “and I figured I could use a place to lie low for an hour or two, so.” Aiden shrugged. He set his takeout container aside on the coffee table and scooped Bastard into his lap.

“Okay, that doesn’t explain why you kept coming back,” Lambert pointed out.

And there was that condescending smirk again. “Well, this part of the story isn’t so flattering for you,” he said.

Lambert scowled, which probably wasn’t very flattering for him, either.

Aiden sighed, still smiling. “I got such a strong impression of loneliness, just from being in your apartment for a few hours. And I thought you could use a friend. Who doesn’t want to make a new friend?” He looked so sweet and earnest for a moment that Lambert lost his train of thought.

But it came back. “Are you telling me you made a copy of my key so you could keep hanging around my apartment, because you pitied me?” he asked, baffled.

Aiden pouted just a little. “I wouldn’t say pitied, no. But come on, the tower of identical takeout containers” – he gestured pointedly to the one out of which Lambert was still eating – “seemed a bit sad. You needed some novelty in your life!”

Lambert stared at him. Objectively, this was batshit behavior.

And yet, he couldn’t find himself feeling anything but want. It had been so long since Lambert could remember wanting, or wanting anything new, anyway. He didn’t want to fight it.

“You’re definitely novel, I’ll give you that,” Lambert said at last. “So, what now? Because I gotta be honest with you,” he paused, “we really have to stop meeting like this.”

Aiden broke into a toothy grin. “Now? I think I ought to head home,” he said, rolling his shoulders back and stretching languidly. “And tomorrow, I think you should take me out for breakfast.”

“I have work in the morning,” Lambert protested.

“No you don’t,” Aiden replied without missing a beat.

“Damn, it really is a little creepy how well you know my schedule.”

Aiden laughed wickedly as he stood up, and Lambert followed. “I don’t have a car, will you drive? I can meet you here at ten, how’s that?”

“You don’t have a –? Never mind. Yeah, ten’s fine.” He had to wonder how the guy managed to work all these delivery gigs without a car, but they didn’t need to get into it right now; he had a feeling that it would take him some time to figure out how the hell Aiden operated, and he thought, with a fluttery sort of hope, that he would have that time.

Lambert walked Aiden to the door, and Aiden looked up at him coyly.

“I’ll have you know, Lambert, that I’m not one to kiss on the first date,” he said with affected sternness.

Lambert choked a little, startled, his face heating up rapidly. “Uh-huh, well, that’s fine, I won’t be uhh, expecting anything just for buying you breakfast,” he stammered.

Aiden just narrowed his eyes and smirked. “That’s what tonight was for: now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I might be expecting something after you buy me breakfast.” He raised his eyebrows slyly and then slipped out the door, leaving Lambert feeling entirely too warm.

If this all worked out, he thought, they were going to have to come up with a better story about how they met.