#sitting there for seven years waiting to be discovered

[iscreamkitty]

Artifact Discovered in Candy Dish. Circa 2016.

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCXDP fanfic idea: Cold Case

Bruce Wayne has worked on many cold cases over the years of being Batman. The ones shelved away after all efforts to find justice have run out. He's seen many of them be challenging to solve for the detectives assigned to them years ago. Others were obviously not investigated as thoroughly as they should have.

A rare few were purposely ignored for one reason or another. Bruce tried his best to stop current crimes, but as someone whose own parents' murder was not solved until he brought the man to justice, he knows how much closure could mean.

He worked on them whenever possible, trying to find the missing pieces to explain what happened. Usually, his kids also picked a few up here and there, but no one put in as many hours to solve closed cases as Bruce. (Tim came a close second)

That's why he clicked through an old file with his morning coffee one Saturday instead of enjoying a sleep-in. His eyes rapidly fall over the words of the police report, then the following investigation reports, witness statements and a few pictures. This file is surprisingly thick, but having no valid leads made Bruce suspicious that foul play was a t work/

It's about a young teenage boy who vanished from a small town in Illinois before his body was discovered stuffed into a rotted locker in Gotham three years later.

Daniel Fenton was last seen dining with his friends at the local burger restaurant, Nasty Burger, after school. He was seen parting with his friends two hours later. Samantha Manson's parents arrived to pick up Samantha and Tucker Foley for an art show.

Daniel had not gotten permission to go; he had been grounded due to his grades, but although Mr. Manson offered to drive him home, and the man even called the boy's sister to pick him up, Daniel insisted on walking.

The town had been relatively safe enough that most teens walked around, so the four had driven off to beat the traffic. Daniel had turned towards his house, vanishing from the restaurant's CCTV camera's sight soon after.

The walk should have taken him no more than thirty minutes, but he was an hour late. Daniel's mother frantically called all his friends after failing to contact her son within those thirty minutes. The boy's friends send messages and calls, but the boy does not respond.

Another hour later, Mr. and Mrs Fenton phoned in a missing person report. They drove around looking for Daniel as the police slowly walked through the town, and word spread quickly that the youngest Fenotn had gone missing. By the seven-hour mark, a search party of Daniel's schoolmates and a few neighbors had been formed.

Police and one hundred and three civilians were on the hunt for Daniel.

Neither Samatha's nor Tucker's messages were marked as read, although a chilling fact was that Mrs. Fenton, Mr.Fenton, and Jasmine Fenton's text messages were opened. That pinged within a block of the Fenton's residence.

Two witnesses claimed to have seen Daniel at the corner shop one block from his house, where he stopped to buy a drink. A man in a trench coat approached the boy to ask for his opinion on the chip flavors.

Daniel could be seen chatting with him for a few minutes while standing in line to pay for their purchases, as the witnesses were the cashier and one other customer. After being rung up, Daniel left the man at the counter. The police could track this man down after the boy had gone missing for twelve hours.

However, it was concluded that he had nothing to do with the disappearance, seeing as the man had ordered a cab straight to the airport and gotten on a flight right. He had even waited inside the small corner shop, sitting idly at a table until his cab arrived.

The cab camera, airport security, and plane ticket confirmed his alibi. By the seventy-two-hour mark, a new clue appeared. Daniel's backpack was half dug in a hole five miles outside the city limits when a hiker spotted the slight gleam of the strap's decorative pin.

This was seven miles from where he had disappeared. Inside his backpack were his broken phone, school supplies, the clothes he was last seen in, and a framed photo of Daniel sleeping in his room.

Sadly, the investigators could not find any clues from the sight due to the heavy rain the previous two days. Even the items within the bag were half destroyed from the rain and mud ( Bruce thought that was a ridiculous claim. He would need to break into the evidence archives, steal the backpack, and run some tests. He would ask Barry for help if he had to.)

Two towns over, another witness claimed to have seen Daniel walking by the side of road, being led by a woman in a grey dress. His picture had been shared by frantic schoolmates at a football game where the new witness recognized him.

This was one week after Daniel's disappearance. The witness had claimed to have captured the pair on her dash cam after she had saved the clip because the two had appeared from the shadows "like ghosts," and she had screamed when her headlights shone on them.

The witness was driving through the back roads to her aunt's house, and the lack of street lights, alongside the dense trees lining the roads, made it hard for anyone to see at night. The clip was no more than seven seconds.

It is just as the car turns onto the dirt road that Daniel can be seen turning towards the car, his right wrist trapped in a woman's hold. He stares into the camera while it passes by, not showing any signs of distress.

The woman is turned away from the vehicle, seemingly peering into the trees as if she thought something had caught her attention. The pair's outfits are peculiar- they seem to be dressed from the early eighteen hundreds, which was why the witness had gotten such a fright.

After searching the area where this sighting was held, the police could not find any evidence that Daniel had passed through there. The case went cold for six months before a concerned man called his local authorities about a young boy standing on the edge of a bridge. He had accidentally spotted the boy while filming a wide landscape video of his hotel room.

By the time the man had raced down to the lobby and gotten to the bridge, the emergency operator in his ear, Daniel, had vanished. When the police collected the video, they could identify the same woman wearing the same dress standing by a white van in the background. Thankfully, its license plates were in full view.

The van was later found to have been reported stolen two years before Daniel's disappearance. However, a common link existed between five other missing people investigations that spanned those two years. Sadly, the van was never seen again, and police assumed it was scrapped.

Daniel's case went cold for three years until his body was discovered during a renovation effort funded by Bruce himself. All work on the old buildings was halted as Daniel's death was confirmed, the investigation was underway, and Wayne Enterprise working entirely with the police to find out what happened to the young boy. His body was sent back to his family after the autopsy had been completed.

Daniel Fenton's cause of death was ruled to be suffocation. Physical indications on his body indicated he had attempted to fight off whoever had left those marks around his neck, but in the end, Daniel had not won. Despite the many tests they conducted on the locker and the area, no other clues could be found of how, when, and by whom Daniel had wound up there.

Bruce didn't appreciate the entire lack of clues. He had searched and done his own testing as Batman the same night Daniel's body had been found. Nothing had appeared on his tests until he had attempted to use one of Constantine's runes.

This one had flared up for a mighty ghost. Bruce had gotten the idea to check for the paranormal after rumors spread of a ghost fitting Daniel's description through the nearby neighborhood children. Constantine claimed that it was not the murder victim, Daniel Fenton, but rather something far older and far more dangerous.

Something prone to luring humans away. Bruce believes the woman seen near Daniel in the last few years of his life was not a human.

Bruce sighs, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his eyes. He's gone over the file five times, yet nothing seems to jump out at him. His coffee had gone from pipping hot to lukewarm, and his children were slowly tickling into the room.

He raises his mug at them in greeting, hiding a smile behind his cup as Cass leans over to side hug him. His daughter is always more physical in her greetings, which makes him so happy that he ignores how her eyes have launched onto his screen with intense concentration.

"A cold case?" Tim asks from around a yawn. Bruce's head barely finishes the nodding motion before the boy leans closer to the table, eyes sharp. "What's it about?"

"The body was found in the restoration affordable housing project that was canceled," Bruce replies. He begins summarizing the case to his children as the rest finally settle around the table, looking at the usual amount of exhaustion Bruce has long ago been able to push through.

He can spot the moment they all start theorizing or analyzing the presented information while he scrolls up to see Daniel's smiling face. Bruce is just about to flip the tablet around so the rest of the children can see when his daughter leans closer to the tablet.

Cass's hand spams as she hisses. "Not Dead."

It takes a moment for Bruce to process her sharp words, blinking up at her. "What was that sweetheart?"

"Not. Dead," She repeats, pointing an accusing finger at Daniel's photo. "Not Human. Lures victims to death. Almost got me."

Well, that complicates this already confusing case a bit.

[shebsart]

Im sick with flu so naturally I picked up my newly bought copy of Howl's Moving Castle which includes DWJ interviews in the back.

And im in love with the way she tells these stories feels like a part of her books.

And my favorite:

The magic in the mundane :)

edit: I'm copying the ID by @princess-of-purple-prose below, thank you!

[ID: Excerpts of printed text which read:

I suppose there's also a biographical element in that Sophie is the eldest of three sisters, and so am I. The idea for Sophie grew out of the time I discovered I had a very severe milk allergy. I almost lost the use of my legs and had to walk with the aid of a stick. I was moderately young, but because of this I suddenly became old.

I had to wait until I knew what Wizard Howl was like. I began to discover Howl about the time when one of my sons took to spending several hours in the bathroom every morning and I got really, really, really annoyed with him.

Where were you when you wrote it? I wrote the book the way I write everything, stretched out on the big sofa in my sitting room, in everyone's way. This often annoys my husband rather a lot.

which made me burst out laughing. I laughed and laughed at the seven league boot, and when I came to the bit where Sophie accidentally makes Howl's suit twenty times too big for him, I laughed so much that I fell off the sofa. My husband was really irritated by this time. He snapped, "You can't be making yourself laugh!" And I gasped, "But I am, I am!" and rolled about on the floor.

Are any of your relatives or friends included in the book? Yes, well the thing that started me off writing the book was a friend of mine who never does her laundry. She has it around the place in huge bags for often as much as a year. When she does tip it all out and try to wash it, she discovers all sorts of clothes that she has forgotten she had.

Which is your favourite part of the book and why? I like the book all over, but I suppose if I had to choose a bit, I'd choose the place where Howl gets a cold. It so happened that when I was writing this bit, my husband caught a bad cold. He is the world's most histrionic cold catcher. He moans, he coughs, he piles on the pathos, he makes strange noises, he blows his nose exactly like a bassoon in a tunnel, he demands bacon sandwiches at all hours, and he is liable to appear (usually wrapped in someone else's dressing gown) at any time, announcing that he is dying of neglect and boredom. So all I had to do was write it down. End ID]

[earthchica]

Use Your Heart

terry richmond x black, fem! oc { amara hawthrone }

summary: after seven beautiful years together, building a life, and creating a family, the relationship comes to an end when Amara grows tired of waiting for Terry to propose.

warnings: ANGST, break up, mention of pregnancy, marriage, regret, past heartache, sad! terry, past relationship, original characters, twin daughters, words: 4k

note: this is my first OC fic, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part.

{ playlist } use your heart by swv I get lonely by janet jackson my love lingers on by peter sivo band

Part 2

-

Terry Richmond and Amara Hawthrone have been together for seven beautiful years. They met as recruits for a secret agency named S.A.G.E.

The competitive tension between them was palpable, but as they collaborated on numerous missions, that rivalry blossomed into a deep and enduring love.

After three intense years as spy agents, they decided to take a long hiatus from work when they discovered they were expecting their first child togather.

Later, they learned they were having twins, two healthy baby girls. Fast-forward a few years, and Terry and Amara settled in the vibrant city of New Orleans.

Embracing the joys of parenthood and raising two beautiful four-year-old daughters. Their life seemed great, filled with happiness, laughter, and love.

However, Amara started to reflect on her life, and she longed for something she didn't think would happen. Amara was an outspoken woman; she always spoke her mind and told anyone how she felt.

Lately, she's questioned many things about her and Terry's love and relationship. She had to express her feelings, the burn inside her heart.

Amara's POV

I smiled happily, watching the twins take their afternoon nap peacefully and adorably. I closed the door and went to the living room to find Terry watching TV.

Terry smiled at me with warmth and sweetness. "Are they napping?" he asked, motioning for me to sit on the couch. I nodded and sat down next to him.

"Yeah, out like a light," I said with a smile. Terry nodded and turned his attention back to the TV, laughing. I followed his gaze, and "Living Single," our favorite show, was on.

I turned to my head to examine his face. "T, can I ask you something?" I asked. "You can ask me anything, baby?" Terry said, gently wrapped his arm around my shoulders with a warm smile.

"Do you love me?" I asked gently, reassuringly. Terry tilted his head slightly, his brow furrowing as he focused intently on my eyes, searching in my expression.

"Yes, baby, I love you with all my heart and soul. I remind you how deeply I do every day, right?" he asked, waiting for my answer, and I said, "You do, Terry."

"And do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?" I added another question. "Yes, yes, of course. What's going on?" Terry asked with concern.

"I'm just asking because it's been seven years of us being togather, and you haven't popped the question. How long are you gonna make me wait?" I asked, crossing my arms.

“Oh....I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Terry said, his voice softening. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like I’m dragging my feet. I got my reasons, you know?”

I crossed my arms tighter, frustration bubbling just beneath the surface. “Reasons? What reasons, Terry? Seven, seven years of us being together, you never expressed your reasons."

I lifted myself from the couch and started to pace back and forth, my mind racing as I struggled to find the right words to protect his feelings but...

The room felt tense, and I could sense Terry’s concerned gaze. "You know you always talk about wanting more babies, but never once have you said you want to give me your last name?”

“Baby, look, I wanna get married, especially to you, but I'm not sure I'm ready yet?” Terry expressed straightforwardly, and my eye twitched a little.

“Not ready? What more do you need?” I shot back, my voice rising. You’ve seen me at my best and my worst. We love each other, and we are financially stable." I trailed off, taking a breath.

"...We have a house, and we're a family, and we've built a fucking life together. We're practically already husband and wife. Why can't we just make it official!"

Terry remains silent, simply listening. This lack of engagement truly frustrates me. I would prefer he share his thoughts or feelings rather than allow me to dominate the conversation.

"So what's stopping you, Terry? You act like the idea of getting married is some kind of weight you can’t handle. Just tell me the real reason. No excuses about needing time; time is running out,” I added.

“Look, I said, baby, I want to get married to you, but it just has to do with something in my past that's been-,” Terry starts with hesitation in his voice.

My heart jumped, and I sat beside them and touched his hand. His eyes hardened, fighting back and forth about whether to open up with me. "Terry, baby, whatever it is, you can trust-"

"No, just drop it!" Terry says, raising his voice. I removed my hand and stared at him, the hurt evident in my eyes and my voice shaking with emotion.

"Okay, then..."I said, getting up and moving towards our shared bedroom. Terry covered his face with his hands before getting up and making his way to her.

"I think we should take time apart. I can’t wait for you to decide if I’m worth being your wife when I've proven it, ” I said as I finished packing some clothes into a bag."

“Wait, what do you mean, time apart?” He stepped forward, desperation creeping into his tone. “I just mean what I said,” I replied, my tone not softening.

“Cause it feels like I’m the only one wanting something you don't want. And that’s not fair, Terry. You gotta figure it out whatever is haunting you.” I said, going to leave the bedroom, but he stopped me.

"I don’t want to lose you, Amara. I love you more than anything, and we can work through it; you're making an irrational decision right now," Terry said, desperation creeping into his voice.

“I'm not, Terry. You need to take some time to figure out your issues, which may mean being away from me for a bit,” I replied, my heart racing with sorrow and uncertainty.

Terry stepped closer, closing the distance between us, and pressed his forehead against mine. I felt his soft touch as the tears streamed down my cheeks, heavy with emotion.

He inhaled deeply, taking in my sweet, familiar scent that always made him feel safe. "Please, let’s talk this through, baby," he pleaded, his voice trembling with raw vulnerability.

I searched for the right words to respond, but no sound came out, leaving me in silence as I struggled to process everything. I walked out of the bedroom, the weight of my decision heavy on my shoulders.

Terry reached out, stopping me again before I could reach the twins' bedroom. He grasped my hand tightly, his fingers trembling against the warm, dark brown skin of my hand.

I looked into his greyish-blue eyes, which glistened with unshed tears and reflected a mix of desperation and sadness. His gaze searched my beautiful hazel-brown eyes.

Trying to find a spark of hope or a reason for me to reconsider. "Please!' Terry's voice quivered as he made one last heartfelt plea. Despite his earnest effort and the thick in the air, I knew I had to let go for now.

-

A few months later, I found myself in a stressful state that I had kept hidden for the twins' sake. This whole breakup was quite heart-aching.

I especially despised explaining the recent changes in our new living situation to my daughters. Sophie and Odette's curiosity was challenging, and I struggled to find the right words to comfort them.

Now that Terry and I are no longer together, I only communicate with him about the twins and establish effective co-parenting. I'm not the type of mother who prevents the children from seeing their father.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Terry had arrived to take the girls for the weekend and mentioned wanting to take them to the park for a picnic.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear what he said. "Do you want to come?" Terry asked with a hopeful smile. "Terry, no. I'm fine," I replied, shaking my head.

"You go and have fun with the girls. They miss you," I added with a small smile while handing him their stuff. "Right!" He nodded, taking the stuff out of my hands with a disappointed look.

I sighed, noticing his expression, but shook my head and went to get the girls. They ran out of the bedroom towards their daddy, and Terry knelt to greet them.

Their faces lit up like sunshine breaking through clouds. “Hey, there, my princesses!” he said, pulling them into a warm embrace. They giggled in delight, their little arms wrapping around him tightly.

“Daddy!” they squealed in unison, pulling away from the hug to look at his face. “Are we going to the park?” Odette asked with a tooth missing in her grin.

“Of course! yeah, and I've got the whole weekend planned out for us,” Terry replied, his smile infectious. “Mommy, are you coming too?” Sophie asked, looking at me as her voice was laced with hopefulness.

I stepped in to keep the atmosphere light, even if my heart felt heavy. “No, baby girl, Mommy’s got some stuff to do today,” I said, keeping a steady tone.

"Yeah...that means it’s all about three of us today! We’re gonna have a blast,” Terry said, caressing their twist-braid hairstyle. They giggled again, their joy bubbling.

“Mommy, are you sad?” Odette asked, her big hazel eyes wide with concern, and I knelt beside her, cupping her cheek and keeping my expression warm.

“No, Dotty, don't worry about me. You go have fun with your Daddy. I'm fine, I promise. Plus, I'm a call away if you need anything, okay?” I explained.

“Okay, Mommy!” they chirped, reassured. Terry gave me a gentle look; the tension between us was still palpable but softened by the girls’ laughter.

“Are you all ready to go?” he asked playfully, extending his hand towards them. They squealed with excitement and bounced on their toes as he led them outside.

I waved goodbye by the front door. “Have fun, you three! Don’t forget to take lots of pictures!” I said with a fake smile. “Will do!” Terry replied, shooting me a glance.

For the sake of the girls, we both put on brave faces, knowing that they deserved the best from their parents, even though we still had work to do in co-parenting.

With one final wave, they drove away. I closed the door behind me, walked to the couch, and sat down, staring into space until I bursted into tears.

-

It's been four months since the breakup, and I felt increasingly miserable as each day passed. I continued to hide my pain behind a fake smile.

My love for Terry had not changed; it remained unwavering. I had devoted seven years to that man, and I often wondered if I had been more patient; perhaps things wouldn't have turned out this way.

I found myself alone, cursing his name, feeling an intense wave of resentment as I reflected on how he never communicated his actual issues about getting married.

It seemed like he buried his fears deep inside, leaving me to guess this hesitation alone. I thought about the situation, considering the pros and cons.

On the positive side, Terry was undeniably a fantastic boyfriend. He was a loving, sweet, reliable, thoughtful, responsible, and faithful man.

Of course, he was an amazing and loving father to our kids. However, despite these admirable qualities, doubts crept into my mind, and his communication on this one thing frustrated me.

Yet, I often questioned whether ending our relationship was the right decision or if I had acted too impulsively. The more I pondered, the more I was drawn to the negative parts.

I took a moment to clear my mind, pushing away the swirling thoughts that occupied my head. Just then, my friend Aisha knocked on the door.

She stepped through the door with a warm smile, and her vibrant energy instantly filled the room. Her presence lifted my spirits and created a sense of comfort.

I opened up about what's been going on with me, the breakup, and Terry, and she was honest. "Look, I get it but you gotta let that man go, Amara. You know your worth."

I sighed, running a hand through my long, curly hair. "I know, I know. It's just hard. We spent seven years together, and the love is still there. I miss him, I miss us, I miss our family, And now…"

Aisha nodded, her expression softening. "You gotta focus on you and your daughters. Let him figure out his issues; if he really wanted you, he'd be fightin' to keep you, not out here doing whatever."

"Maybe...you're right," I said, a little fired up by her words. "But it just stings, you know? I keep thinkin' back to the good things, and I wonder if it was wrong to end it."

I added, "Like, what if he finds someone better? What if-?" I trailed off, not trying to finish that thought. Aisha grabbed my hand, looking straight into my eyes.

"Listen, ain't nobody better than you, Amara. You're a whole baddie; you have to believe that. I'm sure when Terry gets shit together and hopefully comes correct." Aisha said honestly.

"You deserve the whole package: the husband, the ring, and the last name. You are wifey material," she added. "You're right," I said, pulling myself together.

"I know. How about we put on some music, drink wine, and vibe?" she said, pulling a wine bottle from her bag and making me laugh for the first time in weeks.

-

Meanwhile, Terry settled into his parents' cozy living room, and giggles echoed off the walls. His twin daughters were sprawled on the floor.

Lost in a world of toys and laughter with their grandpa, who delighted in their antics. Terry leaned back on the couch, his mind heavy with thoughts of Amara.

Terry stared at a picture of the two of them; he missed her so much and knew he had messed up badly. His mother noticed the distant look in his eyes.

She paused her knitting and looked at her son, who was staring at his phone intensely. “Terry, are you alright, baby?” Terry took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face.

“No, Ma. Things ain’t been easy since the breakup with Amara, I messed up.” He expressed, looking at her, “No, shit, son,” She started, her voice gentle but firm.

“You need to go talk to her and stop this foolishness. Tell her the truth, and stop letting the past weigh you down. It's not fair to Amara.” His mother said.

Terry sighed, rubbing the back of his neck while glancing at Sophie and Odette, who giggled as their grandpa pretended to be a monster. “I know. I know I’m just….”

His mother set her knitting aside, leaning forward, her eyes sharp. “Terrance James Richmond, Look at me," he said, looking back at his mother with despair.

“You gotta talk to Amara, baby. Tell her about your past relationship with Leia; she deserves to know. You can’t just be sittin’ here all mopey when deep down, you know you gotta be honest with her.” She says.

Terry shifted uncomfortably, covering the scuffed beard he'd been growing with his hand.

"I know, Ma, but....you know my history with Leia left me hurt; it took me a long time to heal and trust again. I buried what she did deep in my mind. It’s just... complicated."

“Whether it’s complicated or not, you have to be honest with her. Amara deserves to hear the full truth, no matter how difficult it might be to share, baby,” his mother urged gently,

Her voice softened as she spoke, knowing how heavy the burden of secrets could be. She hoped Terry would understand the importance of transparency in his relationship with Amara.

“What Leia did to you, that’s more than just a scratch on your heart; it’s a deep wound, and holding onto it ain't help you move forward with Amara." His mother said.

She added, "You two have been together for seven years. That’s a long time, son. You can’t let your past ruin what could be something beautiful now.”

Terry sighed, glancing down at the floor. “I just...I don’t want her to see me as weak or broken. I don’t want her to think...." He trails off, trying to hold his emotions.

“Oh..baby boy,” his mother leaned closer, her voice taking on a bit of a comforting tone. “Amara ain't gonna see you as weak. If anything, she’s gonna respect you more for being real with her."

"You need to let her in. She deserves to know why you have been hesitant. You think she doesn’t see that somethin’ ain’t right? She’ll empathize with your fears once the truth is out.” His mother says.

Terry ran a hand over his face again, wiping the tears and contemplating her words. “You really think it could help? That it could change things?”

“I know it can, Terry. You gotta stop carrying that baggage alone. The hurt from Leia ain’t gonna disappear unless you deal with it. Talk to Amara about it, and share how it affected you....” his mother urged, her expression earnest and warm.

"She’s not just your girlfriend; she’s your wife. Let her be that for you. Put a ring on it, boy. it's been seven years, seven Terry. You have been holding onto that pain for long enough. So talk to her, baby. Just be honest and let it all out there.”

Terry sat there, processing his mother’s words, the weight of her advice sinking in. He wanted to be a better man, but the memories of Leia had been like chains holding him back.

“You’re right, Ma. I can’t let this keep me from Amara. She deserves more than that,” Terry said, and his mother nodded, a small smile breaking across her face.

“There you go, baby. It ain’t just about you anymore; it’s about your family, too. You gotta get out there and claim what’s yours.” His mother said, and he stood up and felt a spark of determination ignite.

“Open your heart and be straight with her. Let her know what you’ve been dragging around. It won’t be easy, but if you love her like I know you do, you’ll fight for her.”

He took a deep breath. “You're right, mama. I’m gonna do it. I’mma go see her.”

“Good. And don’t forget, you’re not weak in expressing your emotions or issues. You’re strong for bein’ vulnerable. That takes a real man.” She said with an encouraging smile.

“Thanks, Ma,” Terry said, giving her a genuine smile. “I appreciate you always keepin’ it real with me.”

“You know I’m always here for you, baby. Now go get my future daughter-in-law,” she encouraged, and he chuckled.

“You think you and Dad can watch the girls for me while I go?” he asked, his voice reassuring.

“Yeah, we've got 'em,” she replied, her eyes bright with understanding. "Thanks again, Ma,” Terry said with a smile, kissing her cheek.

“Of course, baby. Now go on,” she teased lightly, squeezing his hand as she released him. Terry breathed, gathering strength before leaving and hoping Amara would listen.

Terry headed out; he rehearsed what he would say. Once in his car, he gripped the steering wheel tightly, his mind racing with the thought of confronting his fears.

Once Terry parked outside the house they once shared, a mix of nerves, hope, and determination bubbled inside him. He stepped out and took a moment to gather his thoughts.

As Terry stood at the front door, he felt the importance of their seven years' worth of memories and love crashing down on him like a tidal wave.

His heart raced, each beat echoing their shared joyful and painful moments. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he knocked lightly, the sound resonating in the stillness of the evening.

The door creaked open after what felt like an eternity, revealing Amara. Her wide eyes reflected surprise and hesitation as if she were unsure whether to welcome him in or shut the door.

"Terry?" she breathed, her voice trembling slightly with confusion and a hint of guardedness. It was clear she hadn’t expected to see him standing there without twins. What could he possibly want?

cliffhanger, sorry lol! Let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part.

[authorhjk1]

Idol Competition

IU X Kang Seulgi

IU sits on the couch in her apartment, her phone in her hand. It's 9:55 am on a Monday. The fourth of December to be exact.

Five more minutes. She has five more minutes until her deadline. IU wonders if she is able to still pull it off. It's quite cold outside, so she expected her to not go through with it. But the other woman sounded more than confident.

Lee Ji-eun checks the chat history on her KakaoTalk app. No picture to proof her accomplished mission yet. IU smirks. Four minutes left.

Is this it? Is this going to be the moment she wins this competition? It has been going on for months now. The two women come up with new challenges almost every day.

Kang Seulgi had two days for this one. IU sees the six turn into a seven. Three more minutes. Even if she could do it in the cold, she would still need to find someone to do it with her. IU wonders who could be crazy enough.

But then again, it's Seulgi. She is a famous woman. And really pretty. There is no doubt that someone would say yes.

Two more minutes.

IU is already thinking about the prize. Although you could say that every mission was a prize itself already.

Her phone vibrates and Ji-eun sighs in disappointment. She clicks on the picture Kang Seulgi send her just now.

The younger woman is kneeling on a blanket. It's visibility windy, her hair flying in all directions behind her. The waves of the ocean are captured on the left side of the picture.

It could have been a normal picture of a woman on a beach. Except for the fact that Seulgi is completely naked. And that it looks like she just good a facial.

IU zooms in on her face. She licks her lips as she sees how well someone came on her competitor's face.

Seulgi is smiling into the camera, hands behind her back, pushing her tits a little forward.

"How often did you get caught?"

IU bites one of her nails as she sees the notification that Seulgi is typing a response.

"Twice. The second guy even stayed and watched while I got my face fucked."

IU moans at the thought. She remembers the challenge from two weeks ago.

Seulgi made her go shopping without her credit card. When she wanted to buy something, she had to convince the seller with something else. It didn't matter if it was a man or a woman, IU did her best to buy as much as she could. In the end, she got caught by a young couple in the isle of some store, her face a mess while the seller was abusing her throat.

"Was it very cold?"

"It was alright. Sex makes you warm real quick."

IU chuckles at Seulgi's message.

"Do you already have something in mind for me? Or do I need to wait?"

Ji-eun's eyes widen when she sees Seulgi's next text.

"Go to SSHS."

That's Seoul Science High School.

"Find a student who is younger than 20 and give him the best school day of his life."

IU can't help but let her hand slide underneath her shorts. Being over thirty years old already, she recently discovered that this is somewhat a new kink of hers. Younger guys who are almost half her age. Legal of course, but young. This could be her chance to freely enjoy this kink of hers.

"Deal."

"You've only today. Should be a piece of cake for a slut like you."

"I love you too."

IU teases her back, before getting off the couch. What to wear for her visit to high school?

Ji-eun walks towards her closet. Should she dress up as a teacher? Or a student?

She can feel how wet these thoughts make her pussy. The idea of letting some young man fuck her, forces IU to move her hand back into her shorts. She let's herself sink into her bed, while looking at the opened closet. Her head falls back as she starts to finger herself.

IU nervously looks around, before reaching inside the bookshelf. Now that she is here, she is way more cautious. It was surprisingly easy to get inside the school building, considering that strangers are not allowed.

Wearing her mask, Ji-eun was able to pass as a teacher while walking through the hallways. She is now standing in the library. The perfect place for her challenge in her opinion.

Now that she has placed her phone inside the bookshelf to record the proof, she is looking around to find the right guy.

"Ms. Lee?"

IU turns around on instinct, her heart sinking. Did she actually get caught already?

"I apologize. I thought you were our homeroom teacher."

The young girl apologizes. She doesn't seem to recognize her. IU takes a deep breath, relieved that she is fine.

"It's alright. Can I help you anyways?"

She tries to act natural, hoping the girl won't catch on.

"Yeah. Me and my boyfriend are looking for the right textbooks for our research. I'm not old enough and he lost his library card. We wanted to ask Ms. Lee for help."

Ji-eun nods. Does that mean her boyfriend is at least eighteen? She knows you have to be over eighteen to borrow specific books from the library.

"I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. You better ask Ms. Lee."

"Thanks, teacher."

The young girl bows and walks towards a table. A guy, who seems to be her boyfriend, is waiting for her there.

IU can't help but bite her lip. The first guy she finds looks quite handsome as well. She doubts he could resist her. After all, relationships in high school aren't serious anyways.

She watches the girl leave the library, before walking over.

As expected, it only takes a couple of words, before IU takes the boy's hand and leads him towards the bookshelf. He just turned eighteen four months ago. Just the right age to fulfill this fantasy.

She can feel his stare on her legs as she walks in front of him. Ji-eun deliberately chose this outfit. It's not too revealing, but it highlights her long, flawless legs.

Once the pair reaches the shelf where IU put her phone, she turns around.

"I will make sure that you enjoy yourself."

She gets on her knees in front of him.

IU expected him to not last very long, but here she is. Her face pressed against books about biology as she gets fucked from behind. The recording must be ten minutes long already, plenty of footage for Seulgi to enjoy later on.

Ji-eun was able to stay mostly quiet up until now. The guy's pace keeps increasing as he starts to reach his limit. She feels his young cock in her wet pussy, enjoying the fact that he is barely older than half her age. She never doubted herself. She knew every guy wants to fuck her. Whatever their age.

"Turn me around."

IU is close to her own orgasm herself. The student does as she says, turning her around to face him. She leans against the bookshelf, staring at the one across the isle. That's where her phone is hidden. Her dark, lustfilled eyes are glued to the camera as he starts to thrust into her again.

Her small Gucci shorts are lying at Ji-eun's feet. She wasn't wearing underwear, knowing she would have to take it off anyways.

"You fuck me so good."

She whispers into his ear as she places her head onto his shoulder.

His hands hold her small waist, pounding her into the shelf full of books.

"Fuck!"

IU is unable to not moan loudly, when she finally cums. Her pussy contracting around the young guy's cock, making him orgasm as well. She can't believe how good this felt. How good it still feels.

This was a better fuck than what she expected. Not just because he is way younger.

As he let's his cock slip out of her, IU watches his cum drip out of her pussy. She can't blame him. Her pussy is just so incredibly tight when she cums.

"Oh fuck."

Seulgi sighs as she cums on her fingers. Her phone is in the other hand, her screen showing IU's new video. Seulgi knew she could pull it of, but never expected it to be this hot. The way Ji-eun looked at the camera while she got railed into the bookshelf....

Seulgi tries to collect herself as she hears her members walk around. Yeri and Joy both seem to be in a very good mood today.

With shaky fingers, she starts typing on her phone.

"What do you have for me?'

Seulgi is genuinely curious. At this point the two of them did pretty much everything. She doesn't even know what task she should give IU after this one.

"The two of us have a music show soon, right?"

"Yeah."

"If that hot camera man is there again, I want you to suck him off, while I watch."

Seulgi remembers the face fucking on the beach mere hours ago.

"Deal."

"Why don't you cum on my pretty face, hmm?"

Seulgi kneels in front of the young man, stroking his cock. IU is sitting on the couch behind her, watching and getting herself off. IU's dressing room looks like it has become a scene of some dirty movie as Seulgi wraps her lips around the man's cock once more. Her head bobs up and down, making him groan and take a fistful of her hair.

Seulgi's pussy feels even wetter than usual, probably because she has someone watching. She wants to prove to IU that she is the better one at sucking cock.

"Are you enjoying your reward?"

IU sighs as she looks at the guy, who's eyes are glued to Seulgi's face. He nods, unable to understand how ge got himself into this. When he started working, he never expected someone like Seulgi to walk up to him after the show, asking if he wants some head.

She is now doing her best to make him cum, her slow blowjob proving enough for the guy eventually.

While IU has her hand rub her pussy, she watches how he starts cuming on Seulgi's face. Rope after rope of his cum stains her skin, some of it getting into her eyes.

Seulgi let's out a satisfied hum as she starts to clean his cock.

"You taste delicious."

She gives his tip one last kiss, before he starts to pull up his pants. There is another group about to perform.

As the two women watch him leave, Seulgi takes some of the tissues from the small coffee table and starts to clean her face.

"Anything else?"

Seulgi shakes her head.

"I can't come up with a good idea."

IU sighs as she licks her fingers clean. She enjoys the taste of her pussy just as much as the guys who eat her out.

"Me neither. I was afraid this would happen."

"So what now? Do we end this in a tie?"

IU raises and eyebrow.

"Do you think you are better slut than me?"

Seulgi shrugs her shoulders.

"Let's just say I got two faicals today. What about you?"

IU shakes her head.

"We can't end it like this."

The notification sound of Seulgi's phone interrupts their conversation. The younger woman unlocks her phone, before scrolling around.

"What are you doing?"

She sees Seulgi bit her lip as she seems to read something.

"There is another smut fic about me."

"You actually read those?"

"They are hot. I like how my fans think about me."

She gives IU a wink, before she keeps reading the new post.

The wheels in the older girl's mind start to turn.

"Do you think they would do this to us in person? What they write?"

"Unnie..."

Seulgi looks at her.

"I like how you're thinking."

"We should invite some of the writers so they have more inspiration for their stories."

The two of them laugh.

"That's a good idea."

Seulgi scrolls through her phone.

"But there are so many. If we would try to fuck them all, our careers would be over before we got to all of them. We don't have so much time."

"Who says we have to fuck them individually?"

IU's smirk makes Seulgi chuckle.

"I like where this is heading."

"But how are we going to get them all in one place? They probably live all over the world."

Seulgi ponders for a moment.

"How about we send them dms and pictures of us? It should work. Especially when we tell them that we are inviting others as well. This way they can communicate with each other, making sure we aren't trying to scam them or something."

"Sounds like a plan. What could go wrong?"

IU regrets those words as soon as she opens the door of the practice room. Two weeks later and here they are. The two women look at the fully packed room. Seulgi tries to count the guys who are here. They messaged about twenty guys, but it now looks more like thirty or forty. It seems like word has spread.

"Is this a good or a bad sign?"

IU looks around as well. She had a threesome before, but this is quite different. Even if Seulgi and IU get used at the same time, there are still gonna be at least fifteen guys for each of them.

"Are you backing out?"

IU shakes her head.

"Why would I?"

Seulgi chuckles. She is nervous, but tries to hide it.

"Let's make another bet. Whoever makes the most guys cum in 15 minutes wins. The other person is going to be a free use for everyone."

Ji-eun likes the idea. She imagines all those guys taking turns on her and Seulgi, using their bodies as fuck toys.

"Sounds like I'm gonna win."

The older girl is confident. The high school boy is proof of the fact, how tight her pussy can become when she cums. No one survives that.

"But no fucking."

IU looks at Seulgi.

"What?"

"No fucking. Only your mouth and hands."

"Hey, that's boring."

Seulgi scoffs.

"You are not up for that?"

IU rolls her eyes.

"Fine. Watch and learn."

She walks inside, all heads turn towards her as Seulgi follows quickly after.

"Hi, everyone!"

IU waves.

"I guess the two of us don't need to introduce ourselves. You all know, why you are here?"

She sees everyone nod their heads.

While IU talks, Seulgi let's her eyes roam the room once more. Now that she is inside, she can count properly. She stops at 31 as her eyes falls on to a man, who is standing further back. He is a little taller than most of the guys in the room. She sees his biceps underneath the sleeves of his shirt, the bulge in his pants visible, without him even having a hard on.

Seulgi licks her lips. This is going to be a fun evening. Because she zoned out for a couple of moments, she didn't catch what IU was saying.

But when suddenly all of the guys start walking towards them, Seulgi immediately feels her panties getting damp. This is it. In the back of her mind, she still has a little bit of doubt left. It vanishes soon though as the first guy reaches her.

She sees IU kneeling down next to her, Seulgi does the same. The sound of ten guys opening the zippers of their pants almost makes Seulgi drool. She watches the first guys pulling their pants down, taking their cocks out.

Seulgi glances at the clock, about to start their bet. But IU is already reaching forward, taking hold of the first man's cock.

"Are these all for me? So nice of you."

She coos as she holds another man's dick with her other hand.

Seulgi doesn't want to fall behind. She reaches for the man nearest to her, pulling him forward by his cock.

"If everyone is gonna be as big you...."

She trails off, feeling the guy getting harder in her hand.

Seulgi decides to use her mouth early. She takes the man's cock into her mouth, savouring the taste. At the same time, the other guys around her make her use her hands.

By now, pretty much all the guys have gotten rid of their pants and are standing around the two women. IU is starting to suck off her first guy as well, both her hands busy with stroking two other men.

Seulgi closes her eyes as she hears everyone moan, occasionally switching cocks. There are five guys directly standing around her right now. More than enough to enjoy herself.

She is excited as she feels everyone's stares on her. This is something entirely different than singing and dancing on stage. And yet, it makes her equally happy. That rush of adrenaline makes her suck the guy's cock even faster.

IU takes another man into her mouth, savouring the new taste. Wearing this this suit might not have been the best idea, because they guys can't have easy access. But she still feels someone from behind sneaking his hands around her waist. She moans around the cock in her mouth as she feels someone rub the fabric over pussy.

Seulgi is starting to suffer the same fate as IU. The guys around her start touch her body, making her squirm underneath them. All the attention makes her wet as hell, wishing they would fuck her already. Why did she make that bet with IU?

She regrets it now as the first guys let's his hand sneak inside her shorts. His strong fingers make Seulgi moan around the cock in her mouth. The man who she is blowing puts his hand onto her head, unable to resist the urge to cum in her mouth much longer.

IU has driven one of the guys who stand around her to a similar level of arousal. He is pushing her head onto his cock, while her two hands are still busy, stroking the four guys on her sides, switching occasionally.

Seulgi let's out a surprised gasp when she feels the first man cuming. But it's not the cock in her mouth, but one of the guys on her right. She was stroking his cock up until now. His warm cum hits her pretty face, making her moan around the dick in her mouth. It makes that guy cum too. He shoots his load down her throat. Seulgi feels like she is in heaven. The warm sperm on her right cheek makes her sigh in pleasure as she turns towards the next guy, ready to suck him off.

IU is keeping up with Seulgi, making the first guy cum in her mouth. She swallows all of it immediately, ready to give another guy head. The guy on her left is trying to take her jacket off, which makes it harder for her to use her hands. Eventually, she gets rid of that useless piece of clothing, feeling two hands unbuttoning her shirt.

Seulgi feels someone's hand dip a finger inside her pussy. She has been unable to keep her hands off herself for these last two weeks and yet she melts at his touch.

Ji-eun keeps sucking off the guy in front of her, until she feels someone cuming on her hand. She looks to her right, letting his dick fall out of her mouth. She licks her hand clean, before taking the guy who just came into her mouth. His cum tastes delicious as she cleans his cock, hoping she can make him cum again soon.

Seulgi feels a pair of hands groping her tits underneath her grey top.

Still with another man's cock in her mouth, she turns her head towards him. With a seductive stare, she eggs him on to slide his hands underneath the fabric.

Seulgi let's her tongue swirl around the top of the cock in her mouth as she feels her nipples being pinched. The other man is now inserting a second finger into her wet snatch. This was supposed to be a competition on how many guys they can get off, not how many guys can get her off.

Either way, Seulgi tries her best to outcompete IU as she feels several hands on her body.

The older woman feels how the fingers on her covered center now start to make her pants wet. Her panties are already drenched, this many men around her too much for her mind to handle. Ji-eun never felt this good.

Someone is now letting her white shirt slip off her shoulder, exposing the lack of a bra. Her upper body is only covered by her tie, which doesn't hide much. Multiple hands make use of her newly exposed skin, some pinching her nipples, while others let their hands wander over her body.

The sight of the naked celebrity in front of him makes the guy in her mouth climax. IU feels his cum paint her mouth as she gulps it down, already looking for her next victim.

"Oh fuck."

The guy in front of Seulgi groans as she pulls him out of her mouth.

"Oh yeah. Paint my face."

Seulgi closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out. Two quick strokes later, she feels his cum staining her skin. Some of it hits her nose, but most lands on her lips and tongue.

"Good boy."

Seulgi winks at him as she cleans her lips with her tongue, making sure she doesn't waste a drop.

Once she opens her mouth again, she is surprised when two guys thrust into her at the same time. Seulgi never sucked off two guys at once, her competitiveness showing as she starts without hesitation. She is going to win this bet and she is going to humiliate IU, until she admits that Seulgi is the bigger slut.

At the same time, IU has another man cuming in her mouth. She almost chokes at the amount of cum he forces down her throat. Once she let's his cock fall out of her mouth with a loud pop, she feels a hand roughly grabbing her tie. Still on her knees, she gets turned around, faced with another hard cock. The guy's hand is still holding her black tie as he pulls her towards him, making Ji-eun take his cock.

Seulgi is unable to speak or do anything properly with her mouth as she tries her best to keep the two dicks inside of her. Only her tongue is able to swirl around their tips occasionally. The two guys keep thrusting into Seulgi's mouth with no intention on stopping anytime soon.

IU's mouth is being used as well. The men in the room starting to grow more confident. You don't have a lot of chances to get a blowjob from Seulgi or IU.

That being said, the guy in the older woman's mouth uses this rare chance to finally cum in her mouth. This must already be the third time she is swallowing someone's load. IU is barely able to keep up with counting. Her hands are slowly starting to get tired after stroking so many guy's cocks. She glanced at the clock. Seven minutes to go. How can she win this bet? She sees Seulgi sucking off two guys at once. Needy slut. IU watches for a moment as they both cum inside Seulgi. They make the younger woman choke as they fill her throat.

Once they are done and take a step back, Seulgi breathes heavily, some of their jizz got onto her face. As she wipes it off, she sees someone else standing in front of her. The guy she noticed earlier. He seems even taller, now that she is kneeling.

Seulgi scoops up some of the cum on her face with a finger, before licking it off with her tongue.

He hasn't taken his jeans off, but Seulgi already knows how big he must be. She reaches forward, fumbling with the belt. A guy on her right starts rubbing his cock all over her face, which makes her stick her tongue out. Seulgi keeps eye contact with the guy in front.

"Come here."

IU whispers towards one of the guys to her left, before starting to get rid off her pants. Seulgi said she is not allowed to use her pussy. No one said something about anal. The guy is not the biggest, which makes him perfect for this. As much as IU is used to have a cock up her ass, she always needs to adjust at first.

"Fuck my ass. Cum in me."

She slips off her grey panties, throwing them to the side. They are heavy and wet with her juices. She sees one of the guys pick it up and wrap it around his cock, before stroking himself with it.

IU feels a familiar tingle inside her body as she lies on her back. All the guys above her look down on her. The man who is supposed to fuck her is now kneeling between her legs, another above her head. The latter pushes his dick down, making Ji-eun take him into her mouth.

The guy between her legs rests his tip against her puckered hole, before slowly starting to push forward. IU moans around the dick in her mouth as she feels how her ass is getting stretched out.

"Fuck. You are so tight."

Seulgi turns to her left after hearing the man groan.

"Yah! Unnie!"

The younger woman stares at IU, who is lying on her back, getting her ass fucked. Her mouth is too full to answer.

Seulgi is about to say more as the big guy in front of her grabs her head and turns her towards her. He got rid of his boxers while she was distracted. Seulgi only manages a gasp, before he pulls her onto his cock.

With one forceful thrust he is already halfway down her throat. Seulgi gags and chokes. Even if she would've been prepared for this, she couldn't have taken so much at once. She feels her jaw getting heavy as the guy fucks her face. He uses her throat like a fleshlight, pounding a way like there is no tomorrow.

Seulgi feels her throat starting to get soar as tears start rolling down her cheeks. She is realizing that this is one of the roughest face fucks she ever had. But definitely not the last one.

His big cock keeps hitting the back of her throat, making Seulgi struggle for air. But he doesn't let go of her head, which means she can't back away.

The fingers in her pussy curl upwards, making her lower body tingle with pleasure. The combination of getting face fucked and fingered pushes Seulgi towards her limit. She never expected to be in this situation. On her knees, surrounded by almost ten guys. All of them stroking their cocks to her getting her throat bruised and her pussy played with.

Seulgi has to close her eyes, tears keep falling from underneath her eyelashes. They mix with her make up and the cum from earlier, turning her once flawless face into an absolute mess. The mixture starts to drip down her skin. Together with her saliva that spills out of her mouth. She is unable to close it. Her body feels numb as she is on the brink of orgasm as she gets the face fucking of her life.

IU's cheating has left her mind a while ago, her brain empty except for the pleasure she is feeling. And how soar her throat is. Seulgi doubts she is able to sing tomorrow. Or even the whole week if this continues.

She hears IU's voice over her own gags, but her own mouth is too loud to hear what the older woman is saying.

"Fuck, yes! Give me your cum!"

Ji-eun moans as she sees two guys on both her sides, stroking their cocks, ready to cum. The guy in her ass keeps her mind in a weird state of bliss as she feels like she is in heaven. The man who was fucking her mouth is replaced by another, who starts where he left of.

How many guys did she already suck off? Five maybe?

IU moans as around the new cock in her mouth. The two men start to cum all over her body. They cover IU's skin in warmth. Her chest, her tummy, her throat. All of it.

While IU keeps getting fucked, Seulgi feels someone from behind, who is starting to pull her shorts down.

Because the guy who is fucking her face is taller, she had to get on her knees to reach his cock. That means her white shorts can be slipped off easily.

Seulgi feels a pair of hands tug at her pink thong. The rubbing of her clit pauses for a moment, almost making Seulgi climax untouched.

The man who is holding her head in place gives Seulgi a second to relax. He pulls about halfway out, letting his cock rest on her tongue. She takes heavy breaths, trying to prepare herself for the next face fucking.

Another hand begins to play with her pussy as she feels the cock in her mouth starting to move again. This time, he doesn't fuck her fast. It's one slow, forceful thrust after another. It makes her head rock back everytime, before he pulls her onto his cock again.

Seulgi reaches the same state of pleasure as she did before. Hanging on the edge of her orgasm, she takes the face fucking like a champ, trying to keep eye contact with the man who is mercilessly using her.

Seulgi feels a pair of hands grope her butt. She is excited at first, but then, she feels someone's cock touch her rear entrance. She tries to shake her head, but the hands on head won't let her. She was never really the anal type. Plus, she doesn't want to cheat like IU does.

She doesn't have a choice. As the men around her see her struggle, they take holds of her wrists and guide her hands towards their cocks. Seulgi is unable to defend herself.

The cock down her throat, the fingers inside her pussy and now the tip of some man's cock in her ass. It all proves too much for Seulgi. Her shriek is muffled by the man in front of her as she cums around someone's fingers.

Seulgi's body shakes as she practically gets spitroasted. With every thrust into her mouth, she gets pushed onto the cock in her ass. With every thrust from the man inside her ass, she is getting forced to choke around the cock in her mouth.

She realizes how hot this must look for the others as she feels someone nutting on her grey top. His cum stains the fabric and Seulgi is reminded of the bet.

For a moment, she lost sight of the goal, just enjoying these men, having their way with her. But as much as Seulgi likes this situation, she still needs to make more guys cum than IU.

"Yes! Fill my ass up!"

Ji-eun moans loudly as she feels the cock in her ass starting to throb. In that moment, the guy above her climaxes, cuming all over her face. IU gasps as the unexpected facial hits her.

Before she is able to clean her face with her tongue and her fingers, the man between her legs cums inside of her.

"Oh fuck!"

Another moan escapes her cum stained lips as she feels his load paint the insides of her ass.

"Fuck! Please slow down!"

Seulgi screams. Half in pleasure, half in pain. The guy who is fucking her ass is the same guy who fucked her face so good a couple of minutes ago. He left a huge facial on her face, before giving others the chance to enjoy her mouth. Now, he is standing behind Seulgi, after getting her off the floor.

Her legs feel like jelly as she takes his pounding from behind. Her hands are useless by now, just loosely wrapped around two guy's cocks.

Another guy now steps in front of her to shut her up.

"You are too big for my ass."

She whines, hoping he would slow down, before another cock pushes past her lips.

Seulgi needily sucks on it, trying to blend out the pain in her ass. She has been used by so many guys now. She lost proper count a while ago. And if she would've looked up to check the time, she would have realized that the fifteen minutes were over fifteen minutes ago.

But Seulgi is too busy getting stuffed with cock from both ends. The black hairband she used to make a ponytail is barely holding up. Her hair looks like it's in a messy bun by now. Drops of white cum decorate her black, silk like hair.

IU is taking two cocks at the same time, too. But she is in a different position. She is placed on all fours in a circle of about ten guys. They all take turns fucking her ass and thrusting into her mouth.

The guy who is currently using her throat holds her tie in his hand, making her choke, whenever he gives it a light tug. The fact that she is getting choked makes IU even hornier. It would be something worthy of exploring later. Is she into getting choked?

Her thoughts are interrupted, when the man in her ass shoots his load. Ji-eun can almost feel how her body becomes heavier. This is the fourth time they came in her ass. If she counted correctly, she made them climax around 23 times already. There is more than enough proof all over her body.

A couple of minutes ago, someone used her still soaked panties to tie her hair back. Someone came on them beforehand. But instead of being disgusted, IU wonders if that counts as making them cum.

"I'm gonna gonna cum in your ass, bitch."

It's the first time the man behind her talked to Seulgi. Her dripping wet pussy craves his cock as he keeps fucking her ass. Because her mouth is closed, Seulgi can't answer. She feels someone's hand now rubbing her clit.

Another hand slaps her right ass cheeks. She doesn't know if that was the guy who is fucking her or someone else. The sting causes her to moan around the cock in her mouth.

"Fuck!"

The guy behind her groans, before he pumps Seulgi's ass full with cum. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as her legs almost give out. His warm cum in her ass makes her see stars.

After he leaves her freshly fucked hole, Seulgi does her best to recover. She remembers that she set a time limit on their bet. She checks the clock on the wall. They have been doing this for over thirty minutes now?

"Unnie! Time's up!"

Seulgi's voice sounds hoars after she removed the cock out of her mouth.

IU tells everyone to stop what they are doing. Seulgi has to kneel down again, her legs too weak to carry her.

Ji-eun slowly walks over to her. She feels cum leak out of her ass. Everyone is staring at the pair, waiting to find out who lost.

"So?"

Seulgi looks up at IU. The older woman is still wearing her tie, her hair now held back by her panties. Her body is covered in cum, wherever you look. Her face, her tummy, her chest, her feet.

Seulgi looks similarly used. Her back is still warm from the load of cum she got, while someone fucked her ass from behind.

"25 now."

Seulgi's eyes widen. She didn't expect it to be this close.

"Wow, unnie. You are no slouch."

Ji-eun raises an eye brow.

"Why do you sound so happy?"

"27."

"What?"

"I made them cum twenty seven times."

Seulgi feels someone's cum drip out of her freshly fucked ass and onto her legs. She grins up at IU, who is looking at her with anger and surprise written on her face.

"You know what that means, right?"

IU nods hesitantly.

"Let's tie her up boys."

Seulgi chuckles as she sees someone grabbing IU's wrists and holding them behind her back.

"What-?"

She tries to struggle against his grip, but Seulgi shakes her head.

"You can't run away, unnie. You are now officially a free-use whore."

Before she can reply, someone already stuffed her mouth with a piece of silk. She only realises a moment later that she has Seulgi's pink thong in her mouth. Someone is covering her mouth, so she can't spit it out.

IU's tie is finally gone too, now being used as a way to tie her hands together. She tries to resist, but the guys around her are way taller and stronger than her. Ji-eun sees someone getting a chair from one of the corners of the practice room.

Seulgi suggested this location. It's Red Velvet's former place of learning choreos, when they were rookies. They used a second room outside of the SM building. No one uses it anymore.

When someone sits her down, IU stares at everyone around her. The about forty guys wait for Seulgi's first move.

"You two,"

Seulgi points at two guys on her left.

"Suck on her tits."

They do as she says, both stepping on either side of IU. The older woman moans into Seulgi's panties as she they lean over her. They both wrap their lips around her nipples, sucking on them. The occasional bite makes her squirm in the chair.

"I feel like the gag is now making her too quiet."

Some of the guys nod in agreement.

Seulgi reaches forward to take her panties out of IU's mouth.

"Don't forget, you still have to admit that I'm the better slut."

IU would've stuck her her tongue out, but is currently unable to do so. The two guys working on her tits make her sigh and mewl.

Ji-eun's eyes widen in surprise as she feels Seulgi working on her pussy. It feels weird as she tries to look down, wanting to know what's going on. The guys' heads are blocking her view.

Her head sinks back as she feels Seulgi pushing her thong into the older woman's pussy. A deep moan escapes her lips, once the piece of silk is completely buried inside of her.

"You always bragged about how tight your pussy is. Let's see if that's still the case."

She turns around.

"Guys, I want you to stretch her out like crazy."

IU moves her head to be able to see what's going on. The first guy is already standing in front of her, his cock in his hand.

"Wait. First pull out-Fuck!"

IU moans loudly as he pushes half of his cock inside her with one thrust. She can't tell yet, if Seulgi's panties make her feel better or not. But IU can't help but squirm even more as the man starts to fuck her.

She feels fuller than usual as the guy pushes fully into her stuffed pussy. Together with the two guys who keep playing with her chest, he makes Ji-eun see stars.

She realises this is only the beginning, when another guy steps forward. He grabs IU's ponytail, forcing her down. She automatically opens her mouth, ready to suck his cock. It has become an instinct for her by now. Without even thinking about it, she starts to suck him off.

The two men stop sucking her tits as they both watch how the new guy makes her bob her head up and down on his cock. He and the guy who fucks her stand side by side.

Seulgi looks around them, trying to see what's going on. She feels a pair of hands wrap around her waist. She looks up, seeing the man who just came in her ass.

"You still don't have enough?"

Her cheeky grin makes him chuckle.

"I never expected you to be such a whore."

His cock is now resting between her cheeks. Now that she feels it again, Seulgi can't believe how his dick fit in her ass.

"And this is probably the only chance I'm ever gonna get. So I want all of your holes."

Seulgi leans her head on his chest.

"Take me then."

She feels him aligning his cock with her pussy. He slowly pushes inside, making Seulgi moan. Her half open eyes see, how the guy who is fucking IU is cuming inside her pussy. She hears the older girl's moans as he pulls out and leaves. A moment later, the next guy stands in front of her.

Seulgi can't believe what she has done. What she is still doing. What would her members say to this? She chuckles as she thinks about Yeri's nature. The maknae would probably follow her example.

Her smile is wiped off Seulgi's face as the man behind her increases his pace. His thick cock makes her body heat up as he almost hugs her into his chest.

Seulgi is almost standing on his toes, only his hips working overtime. He has his face in her neck, kissing her skin.

IU moans as another man walks forward. The man who just came in her mouth already left, leaving her throat all sticky. She would've begged for a break, but she knows that Seulgi won't give her one. Although the younger girl is currently occupied with getting fucked, IU dismisses the idea.

She invitingly opens her mouth, before the guy even reaches her. Instead of pushing his scock into her mouth, he takes a hold of her ponytail. Only now, IU realises that he has been stroking his cock while he approached her. His cum is now painting her face, leaving another layer of jizz.

IU moans as the warmth hits her face. At the same time the man in her pussy cums as well. He shoots his load into IU, giving her a second cream pie within a couple of minutes.

"Just... Just give me a second."

Seulgi breathes heavily, almost missing her chance to humiliate IU even further. Slowly, she manages to get of the guy's chest she was leaning on. Standing in front of the older woman, Seulgi reaches down. Her freshly fucked pussy already oozes with cum. She has to fumble around a little, before finally finding her own thong deep inside Ji-eun's cunt.

IU whines as Seulgi slowly pulls it out. There is no sign of the fact that the silk was pink once. It's stained with IU's juices and the other guy's cum.

"They are gonna fuck you for real now."

IU shakes her head, knowing what Seulgi is planing. But because her hands are tied, she can't defend herself.

Seulgi pushes her thong into IU's mouth. The older woman tastes the mixture of her own juices and two loads of cum.

"Take it like the whore you are, unnie. I don't want to hear any complains, once I'm back."

She turns around, taking the hand of the guy, who just fucked her.

"Come with me."

And with that she leaves IU alone with the forty guys. Bound to the chair, unable to yell after her. She sees some of them start to walk towards her.

"Seulgi!"

Her muffled screams stay unheard as Seulgi and her special friend enter the practice room next door.

"I have two more hours until I have to be back at the dorm."

She slings her arms around his neck, grinding her naked center against his cock.

"I want you to fuck me until then."

How long has it been already?

IU can't tell, the clock is hanging on the wall behind her. 30 minutes? An hour?

She would've thought the guys would stop at one point, but she is proven wrong. This is their only chance to fuck Lee Ji-eun however they want. They can use every single one of her holes.

Korea's number one celebrity isn't even sitting on the chair anymore. They started to take turns with sitting in the chair, making IU sit in their laps.

She never experienced having all three of her holes stuffed with cock. But that's the case right now. The man who's lap she is sitting on is thrusting upwards into her ass. The man in front of her is fucking her pussy. Another has placed both of his hands on her head, forcing her to lean to her left.

IU doesn't know how long it has been since she was able to talk. There are still three guys standing in line behind the guy who is fucking her face.

She also doesn't know how often all of them came, since Seulgi left. Probably all of them at least once or twice. Maybe even more. That would make at least forty to eighty times.

That could be the reason why about fifty percent of IU's skin is covered in cum. Her tits and her midriff are full with it, but they still don't compare to her face. She feels like she has several layers of make up on. Her hair probably wasn't spared either.

And how many cream pies did she already get? At least a quarter of their loads. She must have swallowed so much cum by now. Probably more than a liter or two.

Ji-eun moans around the cock in her mouth as she climaxes once again. Her pussy pulsates around the cock in her, making the man cum in her snatch. She even lost count of how many times she came.

Where the fuck is Seulgi?

"Oh god! Oh god! Oh god!"

Seulgi mumbles and moans. She is lying on the sofa in the corner of the second practice room. The man she took with her is fucking her missionary style. His hand is in her hair, forcing her upper body to lift off the couch.

"Gonna cum!"

Her warning is almost too late. Seulgi climaxes right after the last word leaves her mouth. Her pussy grips onto his cock as he keeps fucking her through her orgasm. Her body is covered in sweat and cum. How often did he make her cum already?

Seulgi moans as she is taken toward another high. She feels his cock suddenly leave her pussy, before he pushes against her puckered hole. The young woman moans and whines as he starts to switch with every thrust. First her pussy, then her ass hole and then her pussy again.

Seulgi can't do anything but lie there, feeling her holes getting used in such an unholy manner.

She is a mumbling mess underneath him, feeling his cock in her ass and then in her pussy again.

Her eyes rest on his sweat covered body as she feels him trying to hold back his climax. As they lock eyes, they both know that this is the last one. The pair is too drained to go on much longer.

"On my face. I want it on my face."

The man nods, unable to form words. Seulgi's ass too tight for him to think straight.

He manages to switch between her holes for a couple of times, before he finally pulls out once and for all.

With awkward movements, Seulgi manages to push herself off the couch. Her limbs feel like pudding, her energy barely enough to keep her eyes open.

He strokes himself to climax as he stares at Seulgi in front of him.

How is she still able to look this cute?

That thought rushes through his head, right before he orgasms. His load isn't as big as it used to. Seulgi's pussy has claimed more of it for itself already.

It's still enough to make her sigh with pleasure though. The warm cum covers her nose and cheeks.

IU opens her eyes. She looks around the room, realizing that she is the only one. And a moment later she recognizes her bedroom. How did she get here?

She hears someone in the kitchen, fumbling with the pans.

Ji-eun tries to get up. Her body feels soar all over. She feels like she has been hit by a truck. Her body seems to be clean on the outside, but not on the inside. She can feel someone's cum in her pussy and ass. Her throat is still sticky, making it hard to breathe.

IU can't even remember how many guys came in her throat as she reaches for the glass of water on her night stand.

Her feet barely lift off the ground as she stumbles into the kitchen, only wearing a robe.

Seulgi seems to be making egg fried rice.

"Hello, sleepyhead."

Seulgi chuckles at IU's perplexed look on her face.

"I brought you here after you passed out. Do you know how long it took me to get all of that cum off your skin?"

IU shakes her head.

Seulgi pours the rice into two bowls.

"I have good news."

Ji-eun is only able to sit down at the counter, waiting for Seulgi to hand her a spoon.

"I found someone knew to compete with us."

IU looks up. Her eyes still look sleepy and tired and exhausted. And yet, Seulgi is able to catch a glimpse of lust in them.

"Who?"

"She should be here any minute."

In that moment the doorbell rings.

"She and her members had a similar competition. Like the two of us. She won and is looking for women, who are on her level. I told her we got fucked by forty guys at the same time."

Seulgi says as she walks towards the door.

"I-I'm not sure if I can start having sex again immediately. Maybe give me a couple of days."

IU's tired, hoarse voice makes Seulgi chuckle.

"Don't worry. Me and Jennie already have something planned for the two of us."

She opens the door.

"Hi Seulgi!"

Jennie and Seulgi hug each other.

"Ready to go to the movies?"

"Yeah, just let me eat dinner."

"What?"

Only now IU realises what time it is. She slept the whole day.

"Hi, unnie."

Jennie waves at her. The older woman takes a look at her outfit. She immediately knows that watching a movie will not be the only thing they do in the cinema.

---------------

(Alternative ending)

Hi everyone!

I hope you enjoy the first story of the December special.

I haven't written something like this before, so I'm not sure how well it turned out. I did my best to write a good build up, because I didn't want to jump straight into the main part.

Have a great day! See you next week for the second one!

[elliesbelle]

nobody compares to you

chapter 13

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact

word count: 9k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio AND drawing commission in the middle of the fic):

the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”

the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”

palestine will be free

“Where the fuck even are you?” 

“Not home.” 

“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.” 

“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.” 

“Stop procrastinating, asshole.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime. 

Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready. 

Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night. 

Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene. 

When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours. 

Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening. 

“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.” 

“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath. 

“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.” 

Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand. 

“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back. 

Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs. 

“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl. 

“Wassup, Chang.” 

“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.” 

“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.” 

“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.” 

“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.” 

“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese. 

Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets. 

“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina. 

Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time. 

Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject. 

“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!” 

Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise. 

“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—” 

“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury. 

“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina. 

“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes. 

“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen. 

Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent. 

“Is she breathing?” 

“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores. 

“What did she eat?” He asks Abby. 

“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table. 

Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation. 

“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions. 

The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face. 

“Did she have any?” He asks. 

While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina. 

“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?” 

“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.” 

“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“Do you think Anderson ordered any?” 

“El, how am I supposed to know that?” 

“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?” 

Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds. 

“I-I don’t know...” 

“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.” 

“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—” 

Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint. 

“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second. 

“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!” 

Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him. 

“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!” 

Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic. 

“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?” 

“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen. 

“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!” 

Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse. 

Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face. 

“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”

“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!” 

Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself. 

She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace. 

Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment. 

Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time. 

She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster. 

Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints. 

She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache. 

She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger. 

She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips. 

She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world. 

Maybe even still. 

Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.

While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed. 

She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room. 

Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears. 

“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side. 

“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend. 

They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder. 

“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles. 

“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.” 

She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing. 

“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.” 

Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this. 

“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.” 

“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity. 

“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.” 

“Oh, Ellie…” 

Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment. 

“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word. 

“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.” 

“Thank you, D, seriously.” 

Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment. 

“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement. 

Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable. 

“Come on. Let’s go see her.” 

You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 

“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously. 

“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.” 

“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out. 

“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” 

“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.” 

“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says. 

Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy. 

“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.” 

“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.” 

“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.” 

She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room. 

Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up. 

“Are you okay, El?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.” 

“I’m fine, Jess.” 

“Dude.” 

“What?” 

Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning. 

“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.” 

“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly. 

“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.” 

Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues. 

“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.” 

Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists. 

“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?” 

“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—” 

“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.” 

“Look—” 

“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.” 

“You don’t understa—” 

“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.” 

“I… I—” 

“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.” 

“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes. 

“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.” 

Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall. 

“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.” 

Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room. 

“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.” 

“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.” 

“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.” 

“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly. 

Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face. 

“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks. 

“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified. 

“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects. 

“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons. 

“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.” 

“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says. 

“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—” 

“Ellie!” Dina scolds. 

“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs. 

“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?” 

“What about her?” Ellie asks. 

“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?” 

“So?” 

“Ellie.” 

Ellie clicks her tongue. 

“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room. 

Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod. 

Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones. 

“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.” 

Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word. 

Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson. 

Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed. 

Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents. 

At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal. 

Barbie Bear. 

She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration. 

After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly. 

Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting. 

Dear Ellie, 

It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands. 

I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know. 

Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork. 

Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day. 

Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name. 

She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago. 

Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more. 

Earlier That Evening 

Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift. 

But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour. 

It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear. 

Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks. 

Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye. 

“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out. 

“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke. 

Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie. 

“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.” 

“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry. 

“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly. 

There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together. 

“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.” 

“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.” 

“Wait, what?” 

“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.” 

“Oh, right.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly. 

“What?” 

“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.” 

“Oh, uh…” 

“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.” 

“Oh. What did she say exactly?” 

“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.” 

“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again. 

“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.” 

“Whatever.” 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“Well?” Daniela asked. 

“It’s kind of complicated.” 

“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.” 

“Look, Daniela—” 

“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.” 

“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.” 

“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.” 

“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.” 

“So you said.” 

Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud. 

Another awkward moment of silence. 

“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.” 

“Hey, what the fuck—” 

“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.” 

“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!” 

Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more. 

“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.” 

“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.” 

“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.” 

She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door. 

“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.” 

And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face. 

Present 

Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat. 

She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you. 

First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months. 

Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification. 

The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz. 

As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.

Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night. 

A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath. 

Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else. 

After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela. 

Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision. 

Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at. 

To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.

Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend. 

Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along. 

But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you. 

Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience. 

Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word. 

Joel. 

She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call. 

Joel picks up after only two rings. 

“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?” 

“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles. 

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent. 

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.” 

Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed. 

“What’s wrong, Ellie?” 

“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…” 

With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks. 

“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.” 

“Yeah…” 

“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.” 

Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips. 

“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?” 

“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.” 

“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.” 

“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.” 

There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again. 

“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?” 

Last August: Jackson 

Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule. 

Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway. 

“Knock, knock.” 

“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.” 

“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?” 

“You, dude.” 

The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts. 

“Need any help packin’ up?” 

“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.” 

“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?” 

“Like I said: essentials.” 

Joel chuckled. 

“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.” 

“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.” 

“Good.” 

Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned. 

“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?” 

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up. 

“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.” 

“So you do go through my shit when I am here?” 

“Ellie.” 

“What?” 

“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.” 

Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms. 

“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.” 

“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.” 

“She ditched me.” 

“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.” 

“What do you want from me, old man?” 

“I want you to be happy, kiddo.” 

“What makes you think I’m not happy?” 

“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.” 

“We weren’t together.” 

“Yes, you were.” 

Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing. 

“You still have the box, Ellie.” 

“I just forgot I even had it.” 

“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?” 

“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.” 

“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.” 

“Sorry, dude.” 

“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.” 

Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this. 

“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.” 

Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green. 

“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”

Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly. 

“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.” 

“That so? How do you figure that?” 

“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.” 

“Oh, yeah? And what is that?” 

Present Day 

“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.” 

“I know, baby girl.” 

Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line. 

“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs. 

“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?” 

“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.” 

“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.” 

“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.” 

“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.” 

“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!” 

“What don’t I understand?” 

“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams. 

A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing. 

“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…” 

Ellie chokes back a sob. 

“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—” 

“Ellie.” 

“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.” 

“It’s not that simple, kid.” 

“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.” 

The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead. 

“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.” 

Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now. 

“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.” 

Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking. 

“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.” 

Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak. 

“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.” 

“All I did was—” 

“All you did was save her life.” 

Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond. 

“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.” 

The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs. 

author’s notes:

belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???

saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎

i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)

the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO

anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl

the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe

i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one

yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.

btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO

the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL

i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway

yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away

ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao

the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)

i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)

ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else

the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.

we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3

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[hufflepuffwriter1995]

 Finding The Pack 

 Pairing: Plus Size!Named Reader x BTS  

Pack Status: Pack Alpha Namjoon. Alphas: Jin, Yoongi, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook. Omega: Lilith (Reader) 

Warnings: Brief Mentions of Omega Abuse (not by BTS), Mentions of Kidnapping, and Eventual Smut. 

Themes: Omegaverse, Fantasy, Supernatural, Reverse Harem, 

Ratings: 18+  

Summary:  On the night before she is set to marry the abusive Dorian Redfern, Lilith takes matters into her own hands and escapes. While life without a pack is dangerous, she knows she’s better off alone. At least, that is until she meets seven males, who quickly show her not only her worth but how beautiful life can be. She can only hope now that they are enough to keep her old life from catching up to her.

Chapter One

Prologue: 

  “Jin darling be careful.” Jisoo Kim laughs as she carefully pulls her three-year-old little boy away from the crib that holds her newest addition to the home-run daycare. Jin let out a whine of protest, little hands gripping the side of the crib as he freed himself, his face pressed against it. 

  “Gotta keep safe!” He cries, hazel eyes never leaving the slumbering baby. As a beta, his mother immediately knows what is happening and can’t help the grin that crosses her face. She will need to befriend the older couple that brought the pup in, if only because she will be damned if she takes away her son’s mate. Fears of him hurting the baby vanish with this newfound information and she smiles as she heads back to make lunch. Unaware that the text she sends along the way to the mother, a picture with the caption “It looks like we will be quite close” will cause the life she imagines for her son to vanish. 

  When the little girl is picked up that night, she is never returned and all of Jisoo Kim’s desperate attempts of contact go unanswered. When she finally goes to the address they had given her, she finds that oddly enough the family that just moved in moved out just as quickly. She will never be able to forget the look of pain in her youngest eyes or shake the feeling that something is very wrong. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  As an Alpha, Eliza Min hates being told what to do, especially by a Beta. However, when the couple arrives, begging for her help to watch their daughter, the same daughter that her youngest has been watching like a hawk from the safety of their backyard, she doesn’t decline. Even when the woman all but snarls her demand to keep any male child away from her daughter. Eliza Min finds the wording of the demand odd, especially on the insistence of it only being a male child. Odd enough she doesn’t stop Yoongi when he sits down and begins to play with the now almost one-year-old. 

  It’s because of her stubborn nature and the fact that she just does not like these people that she keeps the fact that Yoongi plays daily with the daughter for a year and a half. The truth only being discovered when the precious little thing that is that baby girl tells her father with so much excitement that she just can't wait to play with her boyfriend Yoongi. 

  The odd couple move in the middle of the night, leaving Eliza furious and her son heartbroken, demanding to know why they would take his little flower away from him. Eliza attempts to get the law involved but really, there isn’t a law stating that parents can’t be strange. As the years go on, Eliza can’t forget about the little girl and finds herself worrying that maybe, just maybe, her wolf is right and the strange marks were never just accidents. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

    Sana Jung meets the family at a park. Her children, Hoseok and his twin Ryoko, are playing happily in the sandbox when a shy little girl approaches and asks to play. At once, Hoseok, her little Alpha in training, agrees and hands her most of his snack as they play. Insisting that she eat. Sana watches the three with a proud, motherly smile, a smile that turns sour at the look of fury on the other woman’s face as she drags her screaming child away. Her hissed words ringing in Sana’s ears. “Didn’t we tell you to stay away from boys?” 

  That night over dinner, she tells her Alpha’s everything, begging for them to do something. For the next three weeks her alpha’s look for the strange family. Finally coming back with the news Sana didn’t want to hear. They moved and no, they didn’t leave a new address. They don’t stop looking though, if only because of the way Hoseok had responded to the little girl's cries of distress, his first true snarl rumbling through his chest in a way that told Sana all she needed to know. Her son’s luna had just been ripped away and she would be damned if she allows that to continue. 

~~~~~~~~ 

   Crystal Kim was a true alpha, a pack leader among alphas. She was a force to be messed with. This is why, when the new couple across the street had a little girl who looked exactly as her friend Sana had described, she marched over there and introduced herself. As a couple of betas, neither could close the door on her, the wolves reacting to her despite not being a member of her pack. They couldn’t stop her from kneeling and speaking softly to their daughter, nor could they stop her from letting the little girl go and play with her Namjoon. She could tell both hated it, especially when Namjoon began presenting the same signs, the same protective displays an alpha has over their mate.  

  It didn’t come as a surprise to find that they had once again fled in the middle of the night. But it gave her all the information she needed to know. Something was up with the seemingly kind older couple and she would be damned if she didn’t figure out what was going on. 

  ~~~~~~ 

   SangHee Jeon had been watching her neighbour's children, Taehung and Jimin, along with her own little Jungkook when she met the couple. They were exhausted and cranky and left the girl on her doorstep with a list of very strict instructions. She had done her best to keep the little girl away from the three boys, but it was hard. The three boys did not want to be kept away from the girl and took it upon themselves to plot ways to go around her. She spent the better of her afternoon trying to explain to the three boys that it was not her insisting they kept away from the girl, but her parents and begged them to just listen. They would agree, for all of twenty minutes before she made some sound that had them gathered together in the corner whispering as they plotted a new way to get to her. 

  In the end, Sanghee had carefully asked if maybe next time they just allow the children to play together, only to be met with a snarled curse of “Fuck off” and “She’s a little slut, it's for their own good, not her’s.” She had bristled at the words and decided that the next time they showed up, she wouldn’t allow them to take the girl back. Only they never did come back and Sanghee was left with the itch that maybe she never should have allowed them to take her after that night. 

~~~~~~~~~~ 

  When Lilith turned sixteen she was hit with an ache in her soul. An ache that left her feeling empty, as if something was missing. She didn’t know what and didn’t dare try and broach the subject with her parents. They hated, HATED when she asked questions. Even something as simple as “What is for dinner” was met with a hard slap across the face and a cold reminder to not ask questions. 

  She spent most of her time since her sixteenth birthday locked away in the basement, kept hidden from everyone outside of her pack or rather her parent's pack. Their Alpha, a cold man named Carter, had told her that he knew the truth and wouldn’t accept a whore into his pack. So any hope she had of finding freedom was torn away by his cold words. Still, sometimes, in the dead of night, she remembered the comforting touch of a memory, of a boy she couldn’t quite remember and the gentle hands that had made her feel safe. 

   She had no idea that on her twentieth-ninth birthday, everything would change.

[bloatedandalone04]

In The Way I Need You | Part 6

Series Masterlist

➪in which clay messes things up after he regretfully lies to his mother about his intentions with you, and you decide to start looking for another job.

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

WC; 3.9k | Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

In the twenty seven years he’s known his mother, Clay had never seen her this angry.

Well, except for the time Sam walked out, but this was a close second behind that.

Lilith Beresford, in all her glory, stood in front of the couch, home a mere day and a half earlier than she said she’d be. She towered over the two of you, and Clay quickly discovered that you hadn’t woken up yet when he glanced down and saw you still peacefully sleeping against his side. 

Clay couldn’t even have a second to take in how cute you looked all cuddled up with him before he was sitting up a bit. “Mother,” he greeted in a surprised tone, making her raise her brow. “You’re home early.”

“I am,” she said before reaching down and tapping your shoulder. 

You stir a bit and open your eyes, instantly looking up at Clay with a tired smile. Then you looked over and, too, noticed his mom. “Mrs. Beresford,” you sit up immediately and put a cushion of space between you and Clay. “I didn’t know you were coming home today.”

His mother smiled down at you, and Clay knew that smile like the back of his hand. It was her pissed off smile. “I got everything I needed out of my trip,” she replied. “Would you mind giving me and my son a minute alone?”

You scratch at your jaw and look over at Clay with an uneasy expression. “Of course not,” you answer and stand up. “I’ll go wake Joey up and get him ready for school.”

“No need,” she stopped you before you could leave the room. “I’ll be home all day, so we won’t need your services.”

She was being so cold to you and Clay wanted to say something but had no idea where to start. His heart ached a bit when you gave him a look that practically begged him for help, but he stayed silent. “Okay,” you murmur, giving her a forced smile. “I’ll just go pack then.”

“Okay,” his mother said before she turned back to face him. 

“Mom-” he tried but she held up her hand and waited until you were out of the room and up the stairs before she dropped her act. 

“Clayton, have you lost your mind?” She asked loudly, clearly not caring much about the fact that you could still probably hear her. “Don’t you remember the last time you slept with the help?”

Clay glared at her as he braced his elbows on his knees. “It wasn’t like that,”

“Oh, well, I sure hope not,” she rasped. “Samantha left you all alone with a boy who wasn’t even six months old yet, do you remember that? And now I find you sleeping with the nanny.”

“She’s not the nanny, God, mother, would you drop it?” He muttered and dropped his gaze. “And we weren’t sleeping together. Not like that, anyway.”

Lilith crossed her arms. “Don’t act all innocent, Clay, damnit. What were you doing with her?”

“We just fell asleep!” He loudly answered as he stood up. “That’s it. We were watching a movie together then fell asleep, that’s all. She’s twenty, mother, what do you think could happen there?” He hated the words that were currently leaving his mouth, but he wasn’t ready to have his mother control another relationship of his.

He wasn’t even being truthful, not at all, but he needed to get her off his back. Clay had just begun whatever this is with you, and you needed to have a proper conversation about it before he was able to let himself reveal that he had feelings for you to his overprotective and sometimes overbearing mom. 

Lilith narrowed her gaze, and he knew she wasn’t really buying it. “Don’t lie to me, Clay. I mean it,” 

He took a breath as he felt his heartbeat quicken a bit, and when he met her eyes again he could see the concern in them. “I’m not lying, mother,” he says, surprised at how calm he sounded. “I promise. That will never happen again. Nothing is going on between Y/n and I.” 

As soon as those words left his mouth, you poked your head into the living room, an unreadable expression on your face as you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “I’m heading out,” you told them, your gaze cold and hard. “Mr. Beresford, your son is up. He’s asking for you.”

Even your tone was cold, and Clay had a horrible feeling that you had heard what he said. “Okay,” he quickly responded, walking around his mom and towards you. “I’ll walk you to the door.” He offered, hearing Lilith clear her throat from behind him.

“Shouldn’t you be getting Joey dressed, Clay?” She asked, and when he turned to face her once he was next to you, he saw that her annoyed expression had returned as she crossed her arms.

He opened his mouth to respond but wasn’t able to say anything before you turned around and headed for the stairs. “I’ll only be a minute,” he spoke quickly before following after you. “Y/n-”

“Thank you for letting me stay at your house, Mr. Beresford,” you cut him off as you descended the stairs with him right behind you. “I hope I helped you out a bit while your mother was away.”

Clay’s brows furrowed as you both reached the bottom. “That’s not…you know you did- Y/n, wait,” he rasped and gently took your wrist in his hand, turning you to face him. “I’m sorry about what I said. I don’t know how much you heard, but-”

“I didn’t hear anything,” you lied, shaking your wrist free and putting a few steps of distance between you. He wanted to close the space again, but the look you were currently giving him had him refraining from doing so. “Are we done here?”

Clay looked at you for a few more seconds before nodding, not at all being done here but understanding that you didn’t want to be around him right now. He broke eye contact and reached into his pocket, guilty pulling out his wallet. “Here, I’ll pay you extra-”

“No need,” you brushed him off. Jesus, he probably just made you feel like an escort or something. Could he fuck this up any more than he already has? “Just save it for next time.”

So there will be a next time. “Okay,” he hesitantly agreed, adding, “Can you pick him up from school tomorrow?”

You nod quickly and he could see the way your eyes watered with unshed tears. Fuck, he felt like a complete asshole. “Sure,” 

You open the door but before you could step out, he stops you again with his hand on the frame. “Y/n,” he called softly, but you didn’t look at him. He didn’t blame you. With a sigh, he asked, “Let me know you got home okay?”

It was the early morning and probably the safest the streets could be, but he still wanted to know that you had made it home. “Okay,” you answer and leave the house the second he takes his hand off the door and allows you to open it. 

Clay stands there and watches as you begin to walk down the street instead of calling for a cab, and he knew you probably needed the walk to clear your head. He had no idea how far away you lived from him, but he still wouldn’t feel any better if he did know, anyway. 

He looked down at his wrinkled button up and huffed, closing the door with more force than he needed to before heading upstairs and walking right past the living room, where his mother still stood. 

-

Your face burned in embarrassment as you let your apartment door slam shut. Your eyes stung from the tears you held back during the entire thirty minute walk home from Clay’s place. 

You should have never kissed him. You should have never let yourself get so close to him. He didn’t want you. He thought you were too young and immature for him. He didn’t want you. 

You drop your bag onto the carpet in the entryway as you press the heels of your hands against your eyes. What was wrong with you? Why did you ever think for a second that this guy - who clearly has his life figured out - would ever want you as something more than a fling? He has a kid, for fucks sake.

Humiliation takes over your body as you make your way to your bedroom. You toss your phone onto your dresser and fall onto your bed, your face pressed against your pillow as the tears finally leave your eyes. 

Things should have never escalated past a professional relationship, and now you were left stuck in the most awkward situation ever. You were his kid’s babysitter and had indulged in a heated makeout with him on his couch, then fell asleep on him an hour or so later. 

Why did you kiss him? Twice? Why didn’t he stop you? 

If he didn’t want anything to happen with you, why did he let things go that far? 

You squeezed your eyes shut tightly as you thought about how you were supposed to act like he hadn’t totally crushed you with his words when you babysit Joey tomorrow? How were you supposed to face him after that?

He was right, you’re just a child compared to him. Someone who has no idea what she wants to do with her life and someone who had no business trying to pursue something with her employer. 

God, you are so embarrassed.

You weren’t sure how long you cried for, but when you woke up a few hours later you wanted to cry again at how pathetic you felt. You had literally just cried yourself to sleep over a guy. You hadn’t done that since you were seventeen and were sure that your boyfriend at the time was the fucking love of your life, when in reality he was just an immature teenager. You were sure you looked similar to that in Clay’s eyes. 

Your phone going off from where you left it on your dresser makes you jump slightly, and you have just enough self control to wait until it goes to voicemail before you push yourself up and make your way to it. 

As you unlock it, you are met with a few unread texts and a missed call from Clay, and your heart ached even further.

7:19 AM

Clay Beresford: I’m sorry about how things went before you left. I didn’t know she was coming home today, otherwise that whole thing wouldn’t have happened. 

9:23 AM

Clay Beresford: Hey, it’s been a while now and you haven’t let me know you got home yet. Just checking in.

10:01 AM

Clay Beresford: Please tell me you made it home okay. 

Tears gathered in your eyes again as Clay was a genuinely nice guy, he just simply didn’t want you in the same way you want him. You’d have to get over him, and you could only hope that happened as quickly as it started. 

You inhale sharply as you text him back.

Sorry, I fell asleep as soon as I got home. Don’t worry about it. See you tomorrow. 

You turn your phone off after that and set it aside as you sit down at your small kitchen table and open your laptop. While you planned on getting over your crush on Clay, you still knew you wouldn’t be able to work for him for much longer, so with another quick inhale, you begin your search for another job. 

-

Clay fucked up, that much he knew. 

He sat at his desk at work, his eyes glued to his phone as he reread your text. You had become so short in your responses to him, both over the phone and in real life. You had called him Mr. Beresford. Multiple times. 

He tossed his phone aside as he leaned back and sighed, running his hands down his face as he heard his computer go off with another incoming email. 

It was only ten in the morning, and he was already done with the day. 

He was out of line when he was talking to his mom earlier, and had he known that you were able to hear what he was saying, he would’ve never said it. He knew his words hurt you, and he was sure he fucked up any chance with you now since he was just a coward who can’t stand up to his mom. 

You probably wouldn’t want to be with him, anyway, if you knew that he was pretty much momma’s boy. Truly, you deserve someone more mature than he was, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want you. 

He really did. He hasn’t felt this way since Sam, and even then he couldn’t remember feeling like this. Clay hadn’t thought about her at all lately, and he knew it’s because of you. His mind is constantly consumed with thoughts of you and Joey, and how much his son had grown attached to you. 

If you stopped babysitting because he is a fucking idiot, it’ll break Joey’s poor heart, and that would probably break Clay’s. 

Other than Lilith and Rick, you are the only other person who was a constant in Joey’s life, and your sudden absence from it would surely be confusing for the four year old. 

Clay ended up going home early and picking Joey up from school two hours before it ended, simply because he was really the only person that brought him comfort, with the exception of you, but that was only a recent thing and he already fucked it up. 

He was on his back on the living room floor, the expensive rug making it a bit more comfortable as Joey sat on top of him and played with his stuffed bear Lilith had gotten him for his second birthday. “I miss Y/n,” he mumbled as he pulled at the blue bow the bear had around its neck.

Clay gave his son a small smile, both at his sweet words and at the way he was getting better at pronouncing your name. “I miss her, too, bub,” he said and meant it. Having you over for two nights was amazing and walking into the kitchen to see you and Joey already in there felt strangely normal. He can’t believe he fucked that up. 

It had only been a few minutes since he got home when his mom walked down stairs and stopped once she glanced into the living room and saw both her son and grandson in there. “Oh, you’re back early,” she observed, looking over at the clock as she entered the room. “It’s only one thirty.”

“I know,” Clay responded, reaching up and running his fingers through Joey’s hair. “It was a slow day.” He lied, and avoided eye contact with her since he knew he couldn’t actually lie to her. 

“Uh huh,” she said and crouched down next to them, smoothing out the mess Clay made of Joey’s hair. “You should be in school.” She said in a lighter tone, making Joey smile up at her. 

“Daddy said he missed me,” he said back. 

“Did he?” She asked, looking down at Clay with a raised brow. “I was the one who was gone for four days and you’re the one he missed? That’s not very fair, is it?” 

Joey laughs and holds the bear out to her, and she takes it with a smile. Then he got up and reached out to her with both arms, making Clay sigh as she picked him up. “I hope you aren’t still upset about this morning,” she says, holding Joey on her hip. “I warned you about that girl, Clay. The last thing we need is another Samantha Lockwood.”

Her name had Clay sitting up with a grimace. “She’s nothing like Sam, mother,” he defended you even though you weren’t here to witness it like you were this morning when he excused you as if you meant nothing. “Y/n’s nice, and she’s great with Joey. He loves her already.”

Lilith nodded with a knowing glint in her eyes, “Yes, the Beresford boys fall for people quite fast,” she replied. “Just as long as you haven’t.” She added and left the room, heading towards the kitchen with his son in her arms. 

Clay huffed as he moved to sit on the couch, taking out his phone once he was settled against the backrest. He wanted to call you and try to explain why he said what he did, but he was sure you wouldn’t understand. Or you wouldn’t care. 

He didn’t really deserve to call you right now. He deserved to wallow in the guilt for way longer than just a few hours.

You will be here when he gets home from work tomorrow. He needed to try and get you to listen to him before you left again. 

Until then he will give you space and try not to piss you off more than he has already. 

-

“Y/n!” Joey excitedly says as he runs over to you. “I missed you!”

You bend down and wrap your arms around his little body. “Hey, buddy,” you say back. “I missed you, too.”

He pulls away with a smile as his small fingers play with your bracelet. “Daddy says he misses you, too,” your own smile dropped a bit at that as you ran your hand up and down his back. 

“He did?” You ask with a forced laugh. “That’s nice, huh?” 

You stand back up and take his smaller hand in yours as you lead him towards the car. “Yeah, and he picked me up from school yesterday,” he told you, making your brows furrow a bit as you get him situated in the backseat of Rick’s car. 

He probably meant that Clay had picked him up when the day was over instead of having Lilith or Rick do it himself. Still, your forehead sported a crease the whole drive to Clay’s house at the fact that he left work early enough to be able to pick Joey up at three. 

Once you have the front door locked, you take Joey’s hand again and grab his bag with your free one as he tugs you up the stairs. You unpack his lunchbox as he snacks on the cheese and crackers you got out for him, and when you pull out his work from today your smile returns. 

He had drawn you again, but this time it was just you and him holding hands, with a teddy bear in his other one. “This is cute, Joe,” you tell him as you sit next to him at the kitchen table. 

Joey looks up and gives you a big smile as he points at it. “That’s for you,” 

Your smile falters once again as you look between him and the drawing. “For me?” 

He nods as he chews on a cracker. “I made it for you,” 

You press your lips together as you look over the drawing again, noting the little details that showed it was you. Your hair color, your eye color, the bracelet on your left wrist. It was represented by a simple black line on your wrist, but it still had you reaching over and wrapping your free arm around him. “I love it,” you say with a wavering voice. “Thank you, babe.” The name slipped out before you could even realize it, but the big grin Joey gave you afterwards had you feeling less embarrassed about it.

You had spent a good portion of your day yesterday looking for another job, but now you were dreading leaving this one. Sure, it wasn’t very ideal to consider babysitting a job, but it was your source of income for now. 

Joey was so damn cute and so nice for his young age, how could you just up and leave him? Even though he wasn’t old enough to realize that his own mother had abandoned him, the thought of being like her made your skin crawl. You couldn’t do that to him, but things with Clay were so awkward and full of tension, how could you stay after what he said about you? 

You were so embarrassed, you weren’t even sure how you were going to face him when he got home later. Maybe you could slip out quickly as soon as he entered the house? Yeah, you’ll do that. 

You sit at the table with Joey for a long time, talking about nothing and everything as you share a coloring page. Gone were the cheese and crackers, and when he looked up at you with a pouty lip, you knew he was hungry for dinner. 

Standing back up, you set the drawing aside and get started on dinner, which was a simple ground beef and pasta casserole. Joey finished it quickly and hopped off the chair, heading in direction of the living room as you put away the leftovers. 

“Daddy!” You hear him call and pause, your fingers wrapped tightly around the plastic container as Joey laughs somewhere in the hall. You look over at the clock on the stove and see that it is only six thirty. Clay was home early. 

Well, at least earlier than he had been for most of the days you’ve been babysitting Joey. 

You hear quiet footsteps near the kitchen and slowly turn, meeting Clay’s eyes as he stands in the doorway with Joey in his arms. He looked nervous as he held his son against his chest, his forearm pressed firmly against his back. “Hey,” he said cautiously. 

Turning back around, you secure the lid on the container before walking over to the fridge and putting it inside. “Hi,” you answer shortly and feel the tension start to grow. “You’re home earlier than I expected.” 

Clay sets Joey down as he says, “Yeah, I rushed through most of my meetings today,”

You nod and grab your bag from off the table, slipping the drawing inside as you do so. “Well, I guess I’ll be going now,”

“Wait,” he calls softly, gently nudging Joey in the direction of the living room as he looks at you with pleading eyes. “We should talk.”

You give him a shrug and a forced smile. “There’s nothing to talk about-”

“Yes, there is,” he cut you off and when you met his eyes again, you could see what looked like desperation in them. You break eye contact as soon as you make it and play with the strap of your bag. “Please.”

You don’t say anything as you stare at the floor, your face burning when you feel your eyes sting. 

“I’m going to go get him ready for bed,” he started, making you hesitantly glance up at him. He looked hopeful as he asked, “Will you stay? And after I put him to bed, we can talk…please? I feel awful.”  

You bite down harshly on your lip as you shift uncomfortably. With a sigh, you walk past him and towards the living room, feeling Clay follow close behind you. Joey smiled at you as you sat next to him on the couch, and when you set your bag down again on the floor, you could hear the quiet sigh of relief Clay let out. 

“Come on, bub,” he held out his hand. “Bath time.”

Joey got up and gave you a quick hug before running over to his dad and taking his much bigger hand. When Clay looked back at you as he guided Joey upstairs, all you did was give him a small, barely-there smile, and that seemed to be enough assurance for him. At least for now.

[mrs-pianofandom-98]

Agatha Harkness a single mother to her pride and joy seven year old Nicky.Agatha, a single mother to 7-year-old Nicky, keeps to herself. Always sarcastic and protective, but melts when it comes to her son. Her late shift at work runs longer, leaving Nicky locked out of their apartment. A new couple, Jennifer and Lilia, their neighbors , find Nicky alone. Popular influencer Jennifer, and quiet shop owner Lilia, step in to help. Agatha's walls start to crack as she finds herself bonding with them, discovering an unexpected connection.

Agatha couldn’t believe she was running late for the third time this week. She had promised Nicky she would be home when he was dropped off by the bus. Her heart racing as she made it up the elevator finally as she made it to her apartment door 267 B. Her eyes darting in the hall trying to find Nicky. Her eyes settled on his dark green backpack she went over and picked it up looking around. “Nicky what have I told about leaving this in the hall?”

She said out loud trying to get him to come out and answer her. When no answer she felt her anxiety rise. Before she could set in to panic a voice from behind her got her attention.

“Agatha? You alright?” Agatha internally groaned as she saw her neighbor Jennifer. The influencer had moved in with her girlfriend, a kooky older shop owner named Lilia. Agatha and Jennifer had a frenemy relationship.

“Looking for Nicky.” Agatha snipped as her eyes were still darting around. She was irritated she had more important things to do than talk with the distracting influencer. “Oh he’s in mine and Lilia’s apartment. He was sitting outside your door after we came back from town-“ Jennifer went to speak as Agatha immediately met her gaze.

“You didn’t think to wait for me?” Agatha snapped she was internally relieved that Nicky was with someone she at least knew. But she didn’t want to be seen as incompetent with her own son. Jennifer’s eyes narrowed at the accusatory tone Agatha held towards her.

“Calm down. Yes we should’ve somehow warned you. But we couldn’t leave him outside alone Agatha.” Jennifer remarked. Before Agatha could even make a remark back she seen the door down the hall open more. As she met the gaze of Lilia with Nicky in front of her looking happy with a grin.

“Momma! Guess what guess what!” The little seven year old ran towards his momma and tugged on her shirt. “Miss Lilia taught me about tarot cards! They tell the future!” Agatha hadn’t seen him this excited since his birthday. Agatha’s harsh demeanor melted at his expression.

“That’s great hun. Let’s get inside-“ Agatha was cut off by Nicky’s pout. “But Miss Lilia was making pasta momma and she said we could stay for dinner.” Agatha met his puppy eyes as she always had a hard time saying no to those. When she looked up Lilia had joined Jennifer’s side, her gentle aura contrasting to Jennifers confident one. Agatha sighed in defeat.

“Alright..after dinner we have to go back home.” Nicky immediately hugged his mom before running back down the hall into the neighbors apartment. Agatha met the couple's glances as she crossed her arms avoiding eye contact “Thank you for letting him stay.” It left a bitter taste on Agatha’s tongue when it was shown she struggled.

Lilia smiled as she placed a hand on Agatha’s shoulder “It’s no problem dear. I told Jen she should have left a note.” The gentle tone made Agatha meet her gaze and stiffen a chuckle at the pout on Jennifer’s gaze at being called out.

When the three women made their way in the apartment. Jennifer took Agatha coat and hung it up Agatha gave a smirk “Such a gentlewoman.” Agatha teased the women as Jen rolled her eyes fondly. “Trust me lilia thinks so.” Jennifer bantered right back to Agatha. Lilia rolled her eyes fondly. The women were interrupted when Nicky was tugging on Agatha’s hand. “Momma let me show you the cards! Miss Lilia will help me!”

Agatha met Lilia’s gaze silently asking is she wanted to when Lilia nodded she let Nicky pull her to a table and sat her down. Nicky went over to Lilia as she put him on her lap. Usally Agatha had a motherly jealousy when someone showed Nicky the affection she did. But to her surprise she didn’t feel that. Even when Jennifer sat at Lilia’s side also.

Agatha stiffened a chuckle at Nicky’s serious and contracted face as he explained the cards and placed them down as he flipped them over and placed them in front of Agatha. As he looked at Lilia “Miss Lilia what does that one mean again?”

Lilia looked down at the lay out “Good job on the layout dearie.” Lilia praised the boy as she looked at the cards. “That’s the ten of cups meaning seeking out love or emotional fulfillment.” Lilia looked up meeting Agatha’s gaze with a glint of gentleness. Agatha seen Jennifer’s eyes gazing her over as Lilia spoke. “And the one next is the wheel of fortune. Represents change.” Agatha didn’t know why but the reading made her feel something she couldn’t quite place as the women looked at her.

Nicky immediately smiled up at his momma “Momma! It’s good things don’t worry!” Agatha smiled gently at his enthusiasm. “I have a lucky reader don’t I.” Agatha ruffled his hair as he was beaming.

As the night progressed Agatha found herself falling into a fun banter with Jennifer sarcasm with no real bite to the words. And easy flowing conversation with Lillia. When they were done with supper and Nicky had fallen asleep on Jennifer Agatha noticed how domestic this was. She immediately felt her tense up from beside Lilia this wasn’t what she was used to.

Lilia felt her tense up as she placed a hand on Agatha’s thigh. “Me and Jen were planning to go into town tomorrow night. Your usually off on Wednesdays, no? Why don’t you join us.” Lilia said gently like she sensed Agatha's inner turmoil. Agatha met her gaze as she turned to Jennifer who was looking at her with a hopeful expression. Agatha knew she could deny it and make an excuse but she didn’t want to. “I’ll see if the teen who babysits Nicky for me.”

First post for aaa week! Let me know what you guys think.

[haggishlyhagging]

Waiting is part of the stereotyped role for women—a large part. Waiting to grow, for breasts and hips to fill out, to wear lipstick, perfume, brassieres: waiting to star in the big role—man enticer. Waiting to be asked for a date. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting, waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting to be asked to dance. Waiting to be asked to go steady. Waiting to be asked to marry. Always waiting for someone else to act. Passively, miserably waiting.

And if the phone doesn't ring? If no one asks? If you wait, and wait, and wait, and Prince Charming doesn't come riding up? What can you do?

In the fifties, when I was a young woman, there was nothing you could do and still be considered decent. Being able to choose and act on that choice was a privilege reserved for men. That should have told me something. I think it did, but I didn't want—or didn't know how—to deal with it at the time. So I put it away in that deep unconscious filing cabinet reserved for matters which must have frightened me with their too-clear implications of female servitude and subordination. It took me forty-two years of gathering such data unbeknownst to myself before I finally accumulated more than my file could hold and it burst open, forcing me to look.

Waiting is one of the earmarks of subservience. As Milton truly says, "They also serve who only stand and wait." Waiting is a service. The words waitress, lady-in-waiting, waiter are all service titles. Waiting delineates rank. Sergeants don't keep colonels waiting, but generals do. Teachers don't keep principals waiting, but superintendents do. Those in power can make their subordinates wait, can expect them to wait. To keep someone waiting is manipulation, a method of maintaining control; it is a way of announcing and wielding power.

My unconscious servitude to Rick began early in our courtship. I remember sitting on a bench by the service station for several hours while he fixed his car. It was an unspoken assumption in my youth that girls loved to keep boys company during such times, liked to hold things for them, enjoyed watching them clean the points, or change the brake shoes. Having their girl hovering around must have been like having their own private cheerleader. Girls did it because we wanted to be with them more than they wanted to be with us. We were more emotionally dependent upon them, as we had been trained to be. We needed to be around them, and though they liked having us around, they had other interests in their lives. We had been trained to have only one major interest, despite all the other things we might do, and that was them. Not because it is any more natural for us females to be dependent and to base our entire lives upon some male's approval and presence, but because patriarchy socialized us thus. It is great for male egos. It is catastrophic for ours.

But I didn't get a real taste of the despotism of waiting until Rick discovered the computer at the University of Minnesota. The next ten years were one long struggle against the humiliation of being constantly rejected for the computer—Rick's "iron mistress," his "three sexty." Ten years of being completely forgotten for whole days and suddenly remembered apologetically, of my putting the uneaten supper away and going to bed at midnight or one or two A.M., not having heard from Rick since morning when he promised to be home by six.

That he should have thought it natural to keep a human being waiting for six, seven, twelve hours without word made it clear to me again and again how he thought of me, how not completely human I was to him, how much just a part of himself—not a separate or real person to be taken seriously, or about whose esteem he needed to worry. He would never have kept any male friend whose friendship he valued waiting so consistently for years. No peer would have put up with it.

At the time, I thought it was all my fault. If I were more interesting, more sexy, more something, he would want to come home to me. I blamed myself, when the fault lay in Rick's patriarchal world view.

Part of the unwritten definition of wife is: the one who waits.

I tried to tell Rick over those long years how often I felt rejected and figuratively slapped in the face. I couldn't help but believe he secretly enjoyed the idea of my waiting for him, the constant service of wondering and worrying about him in his absence. Surely there was something more behind his making me wait than mere forgetfulness. He was an extremely intelligent man, but I couldn't get him to understand how deeply he wounded me by showing disdain for the hours of my life I wasted in waiting for him and for the hurt and rage and erosion of love for him this brought about in my heart.

And through it all, I must never make him wait for me. I must never reverse the sadomasochistic game. Yet by calling it that, I admit my own collusion in it. Years ago I should have ceased to care unduly when he came or went, should have planned my life as I wanted without consulting his. Should simply not have allowed him to tyrannize and manipulate me. But I knew that the moment I refused to supply this apparently necessary ego support, I would lose him.

And I did. When I became interested in the ERA, he often had to wait for me—to get off the phone, to come home from meetings, to come to bed. I ceased to pay much attention to when he came and went. I no longer cared a great deal when he was hours late or rejoiced overmuch when he was early. My life no longer centered around him, as his had never centered around me. I began to live an independent life, such as only men are entitled to. That's when I overstepped my bounds and it was all over.

And I've thought since, with considerable wryness, how for nineteen years I waited for him, and how he couldn't wait for me for one.

-Sonia Johnson, From Housewife to Heretic

[bettysupremacy]

Always There - Steve Harrington

Summary

w/c 3.9k

a/n based off of this song that drops me to my knees every time I listen to it. Lyrics are out of order, ignore it ♡

Request

You’ve been waiting for your lover, what you’ll discover, is she’s always there.

Long were the nights you once thought about Steve.

Seven and knee scrapes, you’d been there with a GI Joe bandage. Twelve and arguing parents, you’d been there with your palms, warm over his ears.

It was natural with him, always had been.

Fourteen and his first girlfriend, you’d been there with open arms during their break up. Though, he didn’t seem to mind she’d left him for Jack Thompson, a stumpy boy a year older than them. Like he anticipated it, like he knew it was coming. It’d always bewildered you that he wasn’t upset his first girlfriend was stolen from him, but he had you he’d said, and that was enough for him.

16 and Nancy wheeler, you’d stub the toe of your shoe into the ground when she came along, and pretend she didn’t get to you the way she did.

Steve with her was a lump in your throat, but what were you to do? He loved her, he told you, It was different than the other girls. You couldn’t inadvertently scare her off with your silence, or push her away with darting glares in the halls. She loved him too. Or, so he’d thought.

Steve didn’t know why it felt like he was forcing himself to love Nancy. It stressed him, weighing down on his tight chest when he’d thought about the way she proclaimed them bullshit. Like he was just some fling, some distraction.

Not her distraction. His.

“Bullshit.” Nancy had slurred. “We’re bullshit.”

And Steve wondered why it was you he wanted to reach for in the moment. He knew you’d be there to wipe the cold water of Nancy’s indifference from his face.

His body ached as you held him that night under silly confetti sheets he’d bought you. The same sheets you’d brought to your new apartment. Pent up stress leaving his body in guttural sobs, It embarrassed him, pushed him further into your own aching chest. You didn’t mind, preening from the attention he’s been lackluster with.

You toe at his hip now, under the roof of an apartment you two call your own. Thinking about it makes you a nostalgic Steve calls you silly for, so you sit quiet as he grabs your socked foot, thumb pressing into the soft middle. “Foot message?”

20 and grown up, you feel like he’s been taking care of you more lately.

He drops your foot. “You wish.”

You smile, all the cheek he loves, but he doesn’t look away from the blindingly bright TV. Your shoulders drop, wishing you’d catch him looking at you the way you looked at him.

Twenty felt nice on him. Twenty warmed his skin and broadened his shoulders. It was shown in the way his arms filled the sleeves of his crew necks, the way he carried himself with a new lightness.

You’d always known he’d look good grown up, and twenty was grown up when you were sixteen. Taxes and rent, grocery shopping and working a job, you’d always known it’d be Steve you’d do those arduous adult tasks with. You just hoped it’d be as his girlfriend, not his roommate.

It ached the 14 year old inside of you. Roommate wasn’t the best adjective for what you were, but it worked. He was your best friend, your diary, your Steve. Not your roommate. He hated it, correcting everyone in a 20 mile radius when they called you that.

Movie night with your roommate?

best friend

It’s only fair when you decide to push his buttons a little. The lack of attention eats you, and you know he doesn’t like to talk about his dates to you. “How was Carrie?”

“Hm?”

“Carrie?”

“Oh,” Steve breathes out heavily. “She was fine.”

You nod slowly, though it still isn’t received, like the smile you had plastered on just for him 2 minutes ago.

He seems tired, though usually he’s able to muster a knock it off.

“There’ll be a second date?” You don’t know why you seek out this answer.

“Um,” his head lolls against the couch, turning to look at you. “No,” his head shakes, “I don’t think so.”

“What?” Your eyes squint. “Why not?”

His laugh is exasperated. “I don’t know, sweet thing.” Heat crawls up your neck, embarrassed at his unexpected attention. “Why are we playing 20 questions?”

“Sorry.” You murmur, drawing your knees up. Defensive, but he doesn’t mind.

“It’s okay.” He murmurs back, smile lilting his voice playfully. “Are you okay?”

Your eyes pop up to his. He’s grateful to make contact with them. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“Cause we’re playing interrogate Steve.”

“I said sorry.” There’s a loose thread of the couch in between your fingers. You tie it anxiously.

“You didn’t need to.” He teases.

“I know.” You tease back, lighthearted. Just loud enough to hear, just quiet enough that you don’t have to use your voice, you’re scared he’ll hear the choke in your throat.

The couch below you crinkles as Steve turns back to his tv, and you’re embarrassed. So embarrassed.

He doesn’t know this, of course, but it still gnaws that he could see through your interrogation. As he’d put it.

“Y/N.” His voice is quiet.

The TV still plays, background noise though you pretend to pay attention.

“Hm?” You feign attention, or a lack thereof.

His hand drops from the couch cushion to your knee, squeezing concernedly. “Are you okay?”

Or maybe he does know. Maybe he knows more than you’d think.

“Yes, Steve,” There’s a weak laugh that makes him frown. “Are we playing interrogate Y/N now?”

“No,” he drags out, gently. “you just seem.. sad?”

You nod. “Thank you.”

“No,” he says again, a little more stressed. “I just mean- shit, I can tell you want to cry.” his chest hurts. “Did I do something?”

Your head shakes, words failing you.

He’s upset now. Not at you, of course, but at himself for being the reason you weren’t able to talk.

“M’sorry.” His head shakes, dismissing his earlier question. “Please don’t be upset with me, just.. tell me when you’re ready.”

You nod, knowing that he‘s still watching, though he’s turned back to Full House.

Something about him noticing your upset doesn’t sit right with you. He’s known you since you were 5, of course he can tell when you want to cry. Of course he notices the freckle next to your eye and the birthmark on your hip. Don’t all friends?

Your stomach stumbles and you get up, tripping to get to your small bedroom before Steve sees the tears. You and him had a small budget apartment shopping, but it was yours, and that’s what mattered.

You’re grateful when Steve seemingly doesn’t follow, though he stands behind the door petrified. He’s the reason you’re hiding away, he’s the reason he can hear racketing sobs, and he doesn’t know what he did.

He thinks for a moment, that you must know what he’s been thinking lately.

—

Stay while in your slumber, tumble under, and never wake.

Family video is cold without you.

Steve doesn’t think there was ever a Family Video shift he didn’t work with you, and your vanishment has completely left him an absence of a boy.

Not that you quit or anything drastic like that.

Called in sick, is what Robin had said, and when Steve didn’t believe her, he’d had no choice but to tell the nosy girl what had happened the night before.

She’d sympathized with him like a good friend should, but that didn’t mean she agreed with him. She sometimes wish he had more interesting drama. He’d make a better coworker best friend.

“I mean, how do you think she feels, Steve?”

They sit on the floor of Family video behind the counter. Besides the establishment being empty of you, it was also devoid of customers, like your light drew them in. And they weren’t going to stand a ten hour shift if they hadn’t needed to.

His attention catches, looking up from the boxes Robin hands him to snap shut and throw in a crate. “What?”

She, unlike Steve, doesn’t look up, focused on the repetitious task of opening movie boxes, and stamping their return. “She’s your best friend of, what, 15 years?”

He doesn’t understand where she’s getting at, eyebrows scrunched in pure confusion. So what? “What does that have to do with this?”

Robin heaves a sigh, letting the stamp clunk down onto the hardwood loudly. If she notices Steve cringe, she makes no attempt to apologize. “I’m sure it gets tiring watching you go on date after date.”

“I do not go on ‘date after date.’” His pointed glare fails to cut through Robin.

“How many boyfriends has she had, Steve?”

On a normal day these questions would be tolerated. Today, they are not. “I don’t see what you’re getting at, Robin.”

She sighs again, more exasperated than before. His heart trips meanly at his friend being frustrated with him. “It hurts her feelings, Steve.” His head turns, Robin marches on. “I mean, she’s the only constant girl in your life, besides me, and you haven’t made a move!”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” His head shakes. “I just don’t want to lose her.”

“Did you want to lose me when you told me you loved me in the Starcourt toilets?”

Won't you tell her that you love her? And you'll hug her, most every day.

“I did not tell you I loved you.” His eyes roll. “Besides, I tell her I love her.”

Robin nods encouragingly. “That’s great, but is it the same way you told me you loved me?”

Steve loves Robin. It’s a deep twisting love that Steve is not ashamed to admit to anyone who asks, but even he knows that’s not the same love he holds for you. It’s different. Your his person. He feels a little sick.

“I think you should see sense, Steve.” Robin shrugs.

His hand runs over his eyes. “Thanks, Robs.”

“You’re welcome.” She chirps. “I just miss her here is all.”

Steve let’s his first smile of the day slip. “Is all.” He mimics

She laughs louder than him. “Shut up and finish your pile, you’re slowing me down.”

—

Walk a while in her summer, she is the drummer, of your beating heart.

Summer days are so much better when your best friend isn’t acting weird.

Weird is harsh.

The sun beating down heavily, your warm foggy head lays in Robins lap. Her fingers work through your hair, untangling tiny knots your brush didn’t glide through this morning. It’s nice. You breathe through your nose softly.

“Getting sleepy?” Robin murmurs, quiet in contrast to the shrieks of happy teenagers fifty feet away.

“No,” you huff, adjusting comfortably on her thigh, “just bored.”

“Hear that.” She nods, though only Steve can see. They’d wanted an outside day, wanted to skate and run and work themselves in the heat of the sun. Who was Steve to say no to that?

The blanket a languid tangle of teenage young adult limbs, he stares at the notable gap between your thigh and his. It’s raging and wide as the Mississippi River. He can’t stand it.

“What’s for dinner?” Robin asks into the air, but you know it’s not directed towards you.

“I don’t know,” Steve yanks a blade of grass from the ground. It’s soft between his fingers as his thumb glides against the smooth surface. He chucks it at Robin. “Ask the children’s mothers.”

She sniffs out as it hits her nose, he grimaces as she gently pulls it from where it’s landed in your hair. “Come on, you’re not gonna feed them?”

“What kind of dad are you, Steve?” You murmur into Robin’s thigh, tickling her softly.

He watches you, eyes still closed, reach out and flick his knee. It’s the first time you’ve directly touched him this entire evening. It sets off something awful in his chest.

“I mean- shit you know we gotta pay the electric,” His head shakes. “Can’t exactly afford Happy Meals for six.”

You sigh, ignoring Robin’s displeased mumble as you sit up. “I already paid electric, Steve.”

He doesn’t understand, tugging the brim of his cap down confusedly. Love will keep us together, it reads. Robin teased him for it, but he knew it was your favorite. “But we usually split that?”

“Just wanted to get ahead of things,” you shrug, not quite making eye contact. “figured you’d have some extra money for things like this.”

He hates the sincerity in your voice, eyeing your fingers as they tug the hem of his shorts absentmindedly. “You didn’t have to do that, babe.”

You shrug again, dropping your head back into Robin’s warm lap. “Wanted to.”

His head thumps with heat, or longing. He can’t tell them apart, covering his cool eyes from the heat of the sun with his hat. If it helps, he’ll know which the problem was.

Lucas is the first one to come running hungry. His nimble fingers punch a yellow straw into his capri sun, sucking greedily. Robin swats his hand when it overflows onto sticky fingers, mumbling something about the blanket. He doesn’t mind, tossing it into the grass.

“I’m hungry.”

“Hi, hungry.” You smile, though you don’t look up from your resting spot. Robin snorts at the unfunny joke, Steve cringes.

“Is she okay?”

“Just warm.” You nod, peeking at him. His visor covers the run from his eyes protectively, your eyes glint in a tease you won’t let slip. “We’re getting food soon.”

“Food?” Max drops to the blanket, kicking Lucas in the ribs softly, teasingly.

“We’re getting Happy Meals.” You affirm, reaching up to pull her thick red hair from her sweaty neck. Mike displeases.

“We’re not kids anymore.”

“You love the apple slices.” Wills elbow knocks Mikes.

“I could go for a Happy Meal.” Dustin disagrees with Mike. Max hums something of an agreement.

“Dollar menu.” Steve corrects, fighting off the petulant whines of 16 year olds in his ears. He’ll be buying you something pretty.

—

Don't you try to push or shove her, Find another, Or she'll walk away

The days following slow Steve down. Mentally and physically.

He doesn’t want to get up for work, doesn’t want to be ignored by you, to get a small smile for something that usually gets him your shining laugh.

You paid the electric in full so he could pocket some cash. He’d called the company that night to double check.

Not that he didn’t trust the veracious words from your mouth, it just startled him. You didn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have done that. You’re a team, teams talk about these things.

He can’t help but feel that he’s the reason you haven’t talked to him.

You go grocery shopping and he could be sick. You buy for the both of you. Your fruit, his protein powder. Your snacks, your snacks x2 so Steve can share without feeling guilty. It’s a low punch to the gut.

It kills him that you do these things. These little things that splay your love embarrassingly on a table. You remember he doesn’t like Dawn dish soap and get Meyers instead. What is love if not attention? He doesn’t deserve it.

So he makes it up to you.

He does the dishes while your away, cleans the kitchen and stocks your coffee pods when they run low. Tiny acts he hopes won’t go unnoticed by you.

Though, this new act is not so tiny.

Creasing in the palm of his hand, the rough material of a tote bag handle squeezes. It’s warm, and slightly wet, from the warmth of his nervous hand. Is this too much? He’d got the prettiest bunch there, wrapping it in brown crinkle paper, cause no girl wants flowers in plastic Nancy had told him once.

He’s grateful to the teenage memory of her. A mental note to thank her.

Standing in front of your closed wood door, he can hear the loud music of the vinyl Robin had gotten you for Christmas last year. A thoughtful present, really, though you had to buy a record player to use it. You’d made Steve promise to never tell her, accepting the gift in a warm hug. She’d seemed really pleased.

“She's a woman in a dream, one that makes you fall in love”

He knocks, low enough to play it off if you don’t hear. But you do, of course you do.

There’s a soft shuffle. A click and a sputter of a record player dying down, a bed being situation on, and then a “Yes?”

He breathes out, turning the knob. It’s cold, and the gold paint chips off every so often, but it’s in your apartment that you and Steve pay for with your grown up jobs. If you could call family video that.

He can’t make himself walk in, leaving against the doorframe anxiously with his arms over his chest. It was supposed to be natural with you, you were his person. So why’d this feel so awful.

“I got you something.” He chokes out.

“You did?” Your eyes peak down at the brown paper crinkling out the tote bag. The sight of Steve Harrington with a tote bag. Where is your Polaroid?

Padding into your room cautiously, he pulls the flowers out gently. They’re rough around the edges, you can’t deny. Cleaned and snipped, you can see the spots he hadn’t meant to knick, and the way the paper dents in places it shouldn’t. “Still your favorite?” He hands them to you, still so gently.

“Yes,” you whisper, shocked beyond repair. “And the brown paper.”

“Eh,” he scratches his neck sheepishly. “Nance once told me girls didn’t like plastic wrapped flowers. I hope it’s not too fancy schmancy”

“I love any flowers.” Your honest voice mumbles. He almost doesn’t hear you as you look up to him. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” He nods. He opens his mouth to say something, closing it silently. Your amused smile rings around his head.

“Yes?”

His fingers twitch. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You choke a swallow. “What are you talking about?”

“The dates.”

“The dates?” The space between your eyebrows crease like the paper in your hands. “Those never made me uncomfortable.”

“I just-“ He breathes out, dejected. “Never?”

Your brain sputters. “Did you want them to?”

“No?” He panics. “No, no!” His head shakes furiously. “Just, Robin said-“

He’s cut off by your loud laugh. “That was your first mistake.”

His head cocks.

“Taking advice from her.” You give with a shrug. He coughs, startled.

“Yeah,” he nods, serious, definite. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I mean, I love her, but this is the girl that had a crush on a Nashville wannabe for three years.”

He huffs a laugh that’s not all there. “Still don’t see what she saw in her.” His head shakes.

You squint, his dejected limpness detected quickly by your roaming eyes. “A voice only a mother could love.” You beg a laugh from him.

His shoulder shakes and his eyes flick to the posters covering the off white of your walls.

“Ok,” he breathes, patting his hip. “well I’ll get out of your hair.” He nods to himself. “Just wanted to give those to you.”

“Thank you, Stevie.”

The nickname pinches him and it hurts. He nods to you this time. “Anytime, bug.”

Ouch.

Crestfallen as a kicked puppy, he heads for the door. The sight stomps your heart.

Your weak voice stops him. “They never made me uncomfortable, but maybe a little jealous?”

He turns. “What?”

“I mean-“ your head tilts to the side, slowly shrugging. “It wasn’t fun hearing about Cass,”

“Carrie.”

“Carrie, and the other girls.” You pause. “Even if you never gave me the details.”

You tread a line of no return. Steve kicks you forward.

“But jealous?” He whispers.

You shrug, sheepish. “Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Your esophagus closes, no longer letting you swallow without a fight. That hurt. “Yeah,” you repeat. “Oh.”

The silence is deafening.��Wow, you think.

You bring your fingers up to scrub tired eyes. They burn from your lack of sleep and the tears that threaten to front. “Maybe let’s just forget this?” Your shoulders deflate and he hates the crack in the end of the sentence.

“What?”

“Your ‘oh’ said a lot,” you breathe out self consciously. “So let’s just drop it before we can’t take back our words.”

Before we can’t take back our words.

“But I want that.” Steve frowns. “I want to not take it back.” He’s scared of tightness in his chest.

You pause. “Oh.”

He smiles. “Yeah,” he copies you. “Oh.”

It’s quiet after that. The whirring fan above you clicking with each turn. What do you say to that? This boy, the object of your affection for god knows how long, reciprocates your love.

“Wow.”

He laughs, his eyes squinting. “Right?”

“What wouldn’t you be able to take back?” You push lightly, daring a look at him. His hair mussed, his shirt wrinkled, you know he’s lost as much sleep over this as you.

“That-“ he starts slowly “That I’ve been into you since I was 14.”

You sit in quiet apprehension. The corners of his mouth ache from the smile he can’t wipe away.

“That I date to find a girl who compares to you,” His head tilts. “and they don’t.”

“We’re so stupid.”

“Just a little.” He grabs your arms gently and pulls you up to stand under him. The way he looks down at you kills the butterflies in your stomach and replaces them with something stronger. He tucks hair behind your ear, admiring. “You’re the nicest girl I’ve ever met, even when I don’t deserve it.”

You paw at his chest. “Stop.” You murmur.

He shakes his head. “You tolerate me to an extent I don’t understand, but I’m grateful.”

“I don’t tolerate you, idiot.” Your lips bend down. “I like you.”

He agrees quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment with his insecurity. “You know, before I talked to Robin I thought you were upset because you could read my mind?”

Your head shakes, amusedly disbelieved. “I take back what i said earlier, going to Robin for advice was amazing.”

“Shut up,” he pushes you back without letting go. “I thought you were hearing how much I wanted to kiss you.”

Your nose scrunches. “That’s so silly.”

“So silly.” He agrees, swaying you forward and backwards. “Is it silly that I want to kiss you now?”

“No,” you whisper. “I already knew that,” your face is stony faux seriousness. “I read your mind.”

He snorts, bending down to press his lips to your own. It’s soft and slow. His lips are smooth and if you didn’t know him like you do, you wouldn’t know he’s been using aquaphor since he was 18.

He pulls back gently and kisses you again quicker. “You’re so soft.” His fingers itch to slide from your waist and pull you in by your belt loops.

“Your chapstick.” You murmur, dazed.

“That shit is $9,” You know his annoyance isn’t real. “I need you to write me a check for what you owe me.”

“Can I pay you back in kisses?”

He pauses. “One kiss is .50 cents.” His eyes close, dramatizing his seriousness. “I need 18 kisses on the lips now.”

On the lips. You laugh at his wording. “I think we can make that work.”

She is what our love is made of.

[georgiapeach30513]

No More Last Chances

Summary:  When you can’t handle Cole’s smothering, he makes sure you can take a little more.

Pairings:  Cole Turner X Reader

Rating:  explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, sex pollen/dub con, kidnapping, unprotected sex, PIV sex, degradation, multiple orgasms, creampie, multiple men, DP, mentions of DVP, blowjob, 18+ ONLY

Word Count:  2.5K

Cole Turner Masterlist

You tremble as your eyes try to peer through the bag that’s over your head.  Wiggling your hands and legs only to discover that they were bound.  Tied up and face covered.  Nothing to do, and nowhere to hide.  Twisting your head you look around your space, and it looks like an almost empty room, minus a bed.

It is cold.  The type of cold that makes your barely dressed body pop up with goosebumps, and your nipples push against your clothing.  What were you wearing?  So much of your skin is exposed.  Silk.  Tight.  Covering only enough to make you not naked.  

“Hello?” Your voice echoes out in the room.  “Hello?” You croak again, losing all hope.  What did he, she, or they want?  Judging by your lack of panties, you could only guess.  

“Hello?” Your voice cracks as tears start to roll down your face.  The tears weren’t helping anything.  And it pissed you off.  Your fear is turning to anger.  “Let me the fuck out of here.  Hello!”

“Hey, HoneyBee,” the bag over your head slowly lifts off you, and you don’t have to let your eyes adjust to know who had you bound up in this stupid mother fucking chair.

“Cole!” Seething through your teeth, as your brows furrow and you glare at him.  “Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing?  Unite me this instant.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Cole!?” Unaware if this was a question or just a demand, your face starts to soften.  “Cole?  Please.”

“There’s your manners.  You know, I love you.”

“Loved,” you interrupt, and he cracks his neck, hissing through his teeth.

“Love.  I still do, HoneyBee.  And you ran.”

“You were smothering me!  You text twenty-seven times in a row, and I didn’t even have a chance to respond.”

“When I text, you should acknowledge that you’re thinking of me, just as much as I’m thinking of you,” you roll your eyes, and tilt your head back, looking up at the ceiling.  He was going to start monologuing again.  “I took time out of my day to tell you how beautiful you are.  How much I love you, and that you’re amazing and wonderful, and that I missed you.  And you couldn’t take five seconds out of your day just to say you love me.”

“I am working.  I don’t have the time to do that when I am having to watch and teach twenty-five eight year olds.  I have…”

“Shh.  I speak, you listen.  And then it occurred to me, you lack boundaries.  You need them set up, so you know how our relationship is going to work.”

“We’re not together.”

“I said to be quiet!” He was worse than your students.  Throwing a tantrum because he needed to be heard.  “You need boundaries.  And I need you.  I need you to understand, and…why are you looking at me like that?”

“Why did you bring me here?  You kidnapped me,” he shakes his head no, trying to think of an excuse to call this anything but kidnapping, “You did.  I am tied up and wearing a silk slip, and nothing else.”

“I have my reasons.”

“Why?” You ask, and Cole lifts up his hand.  His fingers peel back one at a time before you’re left to stare at his palm covered in a powder.  “Cole, what is…” he blows over his hand, and dust flies into your face.  Coughing and sputtering, you watch as he innocently drags a chair to sit in front of you.

“Cole?”

“I’m just waiting.  I was told it wouldn’t take long,” crossing his legs, his eyes drift down your body.  Watching as beads of sweat prickle your skin.  What was happening?  You have to look away from Cole because the most lewd and disgusting thoughts were plaguing your brain.

Taking a deep breath, you roll your eyes closed, but visions of his body hovering over you as his hips drive him deeper into your warmth have you jolting them back open.  It isn’t any better.  They were undressing him when they opened as well.  Playing tricks on you, and making you view him completely naked with his cock hard and calling your name.

“Cole,” you whimper.  This wasn’t right.  And you couldn’t think of anything but him.  “Cole,” a deep need that is seeking pain courses through your veins, clouding your judgment because all you want is relief.  It’s what you desire more than the air you breathe.  

“Cole,” whining as your hips start grinding on the chair.  “Cole.  Cole!” It helped a little.  The fabric runs over your drenched cunt, offering a little relief from the pain.  And that asshole sits in front of you grinning from ear to ear.  Of course he would enjoy your discomfort.

He is no doubt enjoying the show you are putting on, but you couldn’t help it.  You move over the chair so much that the silk slip starts to ride up.  Exposing your dripping core to Cole, and you didn’t care.  You weren’t going to stop.  If riding a chair was going to offer relief, it’s what you would do.

“Sweet lord,” Cole growls as his eyes stare at your visible pussy.  Watching as your slick spreads over the chair hungrily.  Trying to moan out anything but his name, but there was no use.  He was right there.  His pants are tight and bulging.  He was hard from your little desperate show.  

“My goodness,” he moans again, standing up to walk beside you, and moves your top down, pulling out your tits, and rolling your nipples between his fingers.  “What’s wrong?”

“It hurts,” you plead.  His hands were offering even more relief.  “Cole, I need it.”

“I can tell.  You’re creating a trail like a little snail.  Desperate and fucking a chair.  It didn’t take long,” you want to cry when he takes one hand off your chest, and lifts your chin up to look at you.  “What color are your eyes?” Who the fuck cared.  You want his fingers in some hole in your body.  Let you suck on them, or let your pussy suck them into the depths of her warmth.

“They look black right now.  Are you so needy that you’ve become a junkie for my cock?”

“Cole!” Ouch.  That hurts not only your cunt, but your ego.  “Cole!” Did he want you to beg for him?  How much lower could you sink than grinding on a chair?  “Cole, untie me!”

“Why, HoneyBee?  What could I possibly gain by untying you?”

“Please.  My god, please!” He is cruel.  You have already embarrassed yourself enough.  You couldn’t say what you really wanted him to do.  No.  He could tell.  Your body was telling on you.  It was visible.  And you couldn’t even close your legs.  Couldn’t even touch yourself.  Something needs to be inside you.  You need friction inside your pussy.

“Oh, come on.  I know that you’ve got to be burning to be stretched.  Your sweet little cunt needs someone to fuck her, but I’m enjoying this show.  If you want it, ask nicely.”

“Fuck me!”

“Ask nicely,” his mouth turns sideways and into a devilish smirk, but you didn’t want to ask nicely.  You could hardly breathe.  Sweat slides down your body almost as much as your core was dripping down the chair.  It hurt.  It burned.  And you needed relief.

“Eh eh!” He tsks when you start to shout at him.  He knew you enough that you didn’t break easily.  “Ask nicely, or I leave for a while.  You won’t even get to stare at this,” unzipping his pants, he pulls out his beautiful, succulent and achingly hard cock.

Running his thumb on the tip, and you see strings of precum stretch off him upon removal.  He was a tease.  Slowly stroking his cock.  Able to touch himself, while you’re quaking inside.  No amount of grinding was offering any relief.  It was like being edged for eternity.  Never given the moment to actually orgasm.  Getting close enough, so close, but nothing.  It was a cruel build up, and then it was gone.  

“Fuck you,” you spit at him, but he chuckles.  

“Oh, I can fuck myself.  You on the other hand will be left on that fucking chair, hunching until you go mad.  Starving, but only worried about getting that cunt stretched and pumped full of my cum.  Is it so hard to ask nicely?”

Why did his cock look so pretty being stroked with his hand?  Why couldn’t you look at anything other than his cock?  What did he blow at you?  Blow?  Would a blow job help?  Job?  You could give him a pussy job.  Pussy?  Your pussy needs to be filled.  Filled?  Just like a cream filled donut.

“Cole,” you whimper out his name.  “Cole, please.  Please can you just fuck me?”

“Fill that tight little hole with cum?” Cole’s eyebrow arches up, and you nod your head.

“Yes.  Cole, please.  Please just fuck me.  Please, it hurts.  Please?  Pretty please fuck me like a bitch in heat.  Please, I need you and your cum, and that thick giant cock.”

Cole’s movements become rigid as he stands.  Fingers shaking so hard it was a struggle to undo the bindings on your arms and legs.  You can’t even stand.  Couldn’t do anything but grind hard on that chair.  Moving so rapidly over it that Cole has to pick you up.  Place you on your back, and your legs spread wide.  Ready to take him and that thick veiny cock.  

“Cole,” you beg again, trying not to touch yourself as he stalks over to you.  “Cole,” your hands start to dip between your legs, but he chastises you.  “Cole, I need to be fucked.  God, I need to be fucked so hard, and good, and deep.  Ahh,” the bit of relief you feel as Cole pushes through your weeping cunt.  

You sigh in relief as he completely bottoms out, leaving you panting and needing more than just to cockwarm him.  “Cole!”

“Hold on.  I’m enjoying this.  You were always so much prettier like this.  Filled and stretched with my cock, and oh so satisfied.  What is this?” He asks, acting all surprised.  “Are you already fluttering around me?  I enter into you and you’re coming like a desperate little whore?”

He was cruel.  You feel like you have been aching for hours.  Of course you were ready to come.  Your body has been needing this.  “Cole, fuck me so hard!” Pulling himself out of you, he quickly stabs back into your wet channel, and a louder sigh rings up at him.

It feels glorious.  A scratch that had finally been itched.  Feeling a rush of adrenaline in your body.  Euphoria.  Such a sweet delightful high.  Smiling as your body rocks with Cole’s motion.  This was better than being drunk.  Better than any massage you have ever had.  It was spectacular.  Something you couldn’t even put into words because it was that good.  

“How many fucking times are you going to come?”

“All of them,” you sigh as another burst of flames rips through your body.  This was the life.  Constant orgasms, and fucked too dumb to even know what was happening.

“I’m almost there.”

“Don’t stop.”

“Right there.”

“Please, don’t quit.”

“Right…fuuuckk!” Oh no!  Was this the end?  That was too quick.  There had to be more.  

Cole’s cream starts to leak out of your body, and the irritating unease starts to build back up.  This was going to be painful again.  No!  You couldn’t do it again.  Never again.  You needed to be fucked always.

——

“When do you think you can get here?” Cole asks, staring at you gripping tight to his ankles as you bounce over him.  The perfect view of your cunt spread wide over him.  “What do you mean?  I’m exhausted.  I can’t sleep.”

“Cole.  I can’t stop,” you inform him.  Why would you want to stop?  It’s the best high in the world.

“I know she’s desperate.  I need more than you.”

“Oh fuck.  This is the best thing ever!” You triumphantly declare as another orgasm makes you smile.  You didn’t want to stop.  You couldn’t stop.  The pain was always there.  Always.

“I used all of the powder.  I don’t understand,” Cole smacks at your ass, hoping that would make you get off, but it doesn’t.

“Fuck my ass!”

“Do you hear her?  She was against anal.  So….you gave me all that sex pollen for what reason?”

“Cole!  Fuck my virgin hole!” Begging seemed to do the trick with him.  

“Just all of you come up here!  I can’t fuck anymore.”

“No!” You cry.  Cole had to fuck.  You need to be fucked.  Fucking was all that mattered.  Fucking was everything.

——

“She never sleeps,” Jax eyeballs you as Bucky fucks harder into your ass.  Steve lays there filling you up, petting over your pretty throat, and Dean just fucks your mouth harder.  “Why did you use all the sex pollen?”

Cole turns toward his friend, pursing his lips.  You would have never agreed to being airtight like this.  To have men ruin your body almost every hour of the day.  “Uhh…why did you give me all that sex pollen?” He turns back to watch you with your eyes gleaming at the man that was using your mouth.  You were in heaven.

“In case having sex with her didn’t help.  It could have given you time to make her see she belongs with you.  And then you go on and blow every bit of it in her face.  What is wrong with you?  I don’t know how long this is going to last.  She’s offering up her greedy little holes for whatever person wants to fill them.  You fucked up big time.”

“Jax,” you breathlessly call over to him.  Tears stream down your face, and you moan as another high courses through you.  “Jax, I need two cocks in my pussy.”

“Oh god,” Cole moans, as you sit up more.  The force of Bucky was making your body ripple with pleasure.  

“Or…oh fuck…suck my titties as everyone uses me!  Please!  Fuck fuck fuuuckk!!  Call some more friends.  Call them!”

“No!” Cole gives you a pout.  This isn’t how it was supposed to go.  You were supposed to want him.  Not every other man.  But my god did you not look beautiful being used.  “Dean fuck her mouth some more.  Jax, let's suck on her tits.”

“Fuck that shit.  I’m cramming my dick beside Stevie’s.  You and him can suck on tits.  Maybe she’ll be in control enough to give you a handjob.  But I am not missing this opportunity.”

“How long was this going to take?  How long would it last?  Were you forever to be doomed to being a used wet hole forever?  Or eventually could you sleep?  You weren’t sure.  What you did know was that you wanted to be used.  Needed to be used.  And the urge was still just as strong.  But maybe after each man had destroyed you, you could be at peace.  Or maybe, just maybe you needed to be fucked for the rest of your life.  Taking turns.  Or bringing in new men.  

You didn’t know.  Wouldn’t care.  You guess your holes were just open for business.  And that’s what you took comfort in.  Being used.  Every second.  Every minute.  Every hour.  Of every day.

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @sstan-hoe @missusbarnes-rogers @peaches1958 @seitmai @smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @donutloverxo @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bambamwolf87 @harrysthiccthighss​ @annislittleshopofhorrors​ @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory​

[bullet-prooflove]

You told me you’ve been fighting all your life, well fight for us.

For Walker from Yellowstone

Tagging: @kmc1989 @gatefleet @hal3ynicol3 @racerchix21 @soultrysworld

Companion piece to:

Music (NSFW) - You and Walker make beautiful music together.

One Punch - Walker returns to the bunkhouse to find you waiting for him.

Just Like The First Time (NSFW) - Walker and you send the night together for the first time in 7 years.

Everything You Dreamed (NSFW) - You are everything Walker could have dreamed and more.

Tattoo - You take a moment to admire Walker as he sleeps.

The Only One - You've always been the only girl for Walker.

Touch - After seven years in prison Walker's a little touch starved.

Candlelight - Walker discovers you've been keeping up a birthday tradition.

Bluebelle - Walker sings you a very important song.

You still remember that last prison visit. The one where Walker told you he couldn’t see you anymore.

You recall sitting in the visitor’s hall, counting the greying tiles on the wall behind him because you were too overwhelmed by his words to comprehend them. He was six months into a seven year sentence when he told you he was taking you off the visitor’s list.

“Baby.” You’d tried to argue, reaching for his hand. “You’ve been fighting all your life, I know you have, fight for us, fight for the future we can have together when this is all over.”

“I did fight for us, I fought for you and look where that got me.” He drawls, pulling his hand away and crossing his arms over his chest. “We ain’t got no future Bluebelle.”

Thise words they cut through you like a knife, piercing your heart and spilling your blood all across the table in front of you. You know he’s being cruel on purpose, that he’s trying to push you away but the thing is he’s right. He’s sitting here, doing time because of you, because a guy stuck his hand up your dress, tried to hurt you.

One punch was all it took to kill that man.

One punch for your lives to change completely.

“Do you blame me?” You ask him, your eyes stinging. “Do you feel like I did this to you?”

“Honey.” He says, his elbows coming to rest on the surface of the table as he leans in close, his eyes locked on yours. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you.”

Love Walker? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[discordshawty]

genius and her tutor ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

when a second-year student is failing english and has to get help from the mean first-year tutor.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ tsukishima is no less of a troublemaker than the other karasuno first years, and when he gets caught by the principal bickering with kageyama, he finds himself assigned as a tutor for struggling students as a form of punishment.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ there, he gets the pleasure of meeting you, a second-year student who’s failing english and in desperate need of his help.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ you’d been failing all your tests since the beginning of the semester and your teacher was finally sending you to tutoring.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ the first time you and tsukishima were to meet, you were scheduled to meet in the library. being the oh-so-kind upperclassman, you went to the vending machine to get you both colas, but to your demise, you were seven minutes late and discovered you got the mean tutor.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ “don’t you know it’s rude to keep someone who’s tutoring you waiting?” he snarled.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ the glare in his eyes and the height he had even when sitting down intimidated you like no other, but you were a hardhead anyway and didn’t let it get to you.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ his irritation only grew as you stumbled over apologies and explanations. when you sat down next to him and placed the cola in front of him, tsukishima ignored it.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ you opened your binder to show him your most recent english test, the bright red 36% glowing on the paper. you mentioned that you were going to retake the test, which is why you needed tutoring.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ “a real genius, aren’t you?”

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ over the next few days, you met with tsukishima at the library at the same time and table, bringing a cola every day even though he never touched it.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ he did the usual quizzing and correcting, but he also started jotting down tips and tricks in the margins of your notes, though he’d never admit it was to help you.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ the more days passed he saw you had a tendency to accidentally knock over stacks of books or misplace your notes, which drove tsukishima up the wall.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ he was not the most patient teacher, and you had a tendency to fall off topic, often discussing everything from the best snack foods to why cats are superior to dogs.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ over time, he got used to it and couldn’t help but be slightly entertained by your relentless enthusiasm and peculiar arguments.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ when you finally grasped a difficult concept, tsukishima would begrudgingly admit you weren’t as hopeless as he initially thought, though he’d still maintain his aloof demeanor.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ you’d occasionally catch him smiling despite his attempts to stay gruff, especially when you’d celebrate small victories.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ the first time tsukishima actually drank the cola you brought every day, he did it without thinking, and when you noticed, he simply muttered, “not bad,” but you both knew it was a small step in your odd little routine.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ one time, after he caught you doodling during a study session, he sighed and drew a quick sketch of a dinosaur in your notebook. you immediately cut out the dinosaur to keep.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ even though you were older than tsukishima, he acted as if he was your age. if you were lucky you two spoke as if you’d know each other longer than a few days.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ he’d quiz you unexpectedly, catching you off guard just to see if you were paying attention, and when you got it right, he’d give the slightest nod of approval.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ after a week of studying daily, you retook the english test you had failed. when the results came back, you rushed to the first-year floor to show him the new score—a much-improved 88%—but instead of a smile, tsukishima just smirked and said, “just a genius and her tutor.”

ᯓ★after tutoring ended you definitely went back to failing tests and tsukki had to be there to help you.

ᯓ★ xoxo , discordshawty

ᯓ★ borders from roseraris.

ᯓ★ ty u guys for the notes and reblogs ! even the silent readers u real ones 2 >:3

[straylightdream]

unrequited hearts

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: seo changbin x f.reader & hwang hyunjin x f.reader

friends to lovers, unrequited love

↳ unrequited love is a bitch. Watching your best friend fall in love and get married is heartbreaking, but at least you have someone by your side.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, heartbreak, smut warning below the cut.

𝐚𝐧: I wrote this with reader being a plus size/chubby. I decided to reworked one of my old stories on here that I wrote back in 2021. This one definitely hit close to home when I wrote it.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: oral (fem receiving), unprotected intercourse, creampie, sex against a wall.

The undying love you had for your best friend was love you couldn’t explain. He was your sun and your moon and your true meaning for existing. The problem is he didn’t return your feelings. Unrequited love is a bitch.

Hwang Hyunjin is your best friend and the love of your life. He never really knew how you felt though.

When you first met the quiet and serious man you thought he hated you. He barely ever spoke to you and was left questioning if you did something to piss him off. It didn’t take long for him to let his walls down around you and you quickly learned what a kind and sweet person he is. You think the second time you ever spoke to him was when you started to fall in love with him. After seven years of knowing him, people constantly questioned if you were a couple. Once they discover you aren’t they would always ask when it’s going to happen. You always attempted to brush off this statement and would say you’re just friends. Completely lying to whoever asked and lying to yourself in the process. Hyunjin’s response was always different from yours. He would tell them, “it’s not the right time.” You always tried to tell yourself that this statement was a joke. That you’ve talked about how people think you’re a couple often, but he thinks you’re too good of friends. This might have something to do with the fact you aren’t exactly his type. Any girl Hyunjin has ever dated has been beautiful skinny girls, where you’re pretty average and with a soft and curvy body. It could also be that he cares about your friendship too much to risk it.

For as long as you can remember you’ve hidden away your feelings for him. You’ve never told a soul you’re madly in love with your best friend.

Two years ago you made the stupid mistake of agreeing to move in with him. He asked after a long day at work. You were sitting at a ramen place waiting for your food when he asked you to be his roommate. Every part of your body was screaming at you to say no, every part of your body except your heart that couldn’t seem to push away your feelings you shared for him. Like a complete fool you agreed to be roommates.

Living with Hyunjin brought some of the best moments in your life and some of the most heartbreaking. Sitting on your comfy blue living room couch he told you about a girl he met at work. You tried to brush it off thinking it was nothing. One week later Hyunjin was leaving the apartment for his date with the girl. Two weeks later you’re sitting on the couch reading when the front door opens and Hyunjin walks into holding hands with a girl who keeps giggling that can’t seem to keep her hands to herself. The sinking feeling in your chest you get at the sight of together is a familiar feeling that will never seem to go away after that night.

It doesn’t take long before Hyunjin is dating Eun. At first you try your hardest to push away the thought of them together. It’s hard to ignore the fact that he’s in a happy relationship when she starts spending more time in your apartment. The more time she’s there the more time you spend away. You bury yourself in work trying to keep your mind off Hyunjin and your heartbreak. Your best friend is madly in love and completely clueless to the pain you’re experiencing. The more serious Hyunjin relationship grew with Eun the closer you got with your coworker Changbin.

Seo Changbin was the only person who knew your true feelings for Hyunjin. He figured out you were in love with him when he found you crying staring at the engagement photo Eun had posted. Seeing their engagement photo broke your heart for many reasons. One being it was clear that Hyunjin was never going to love you back, and two was the fact you were blind sided by their engagement. Hyunjin never mentioned he planned on proposing. It hurt like hell that he didn’t warn you. It didn’t feel right that you found out through Eun's post.

Tears brimmed your glossy eyes as you took off practically running from your desk. Locking yourself in the bathroom stall you cried over your lost love. You cried realizing Hyunjin would never love you like you love him. You started sobbing and you couldn’t help it. Lost in a sea of emotions you didn’t even hear someone knocking on the door outside.

Your eyes pop open at the sound of Changbin’s voice right outside your bathroom stall.

“Are you okay?” He sounds concerned.

“Yeah I’m fine,” reaching up to push away your tears trying to stop crying.

“Did you want to talk about it? Because you don’t sound fine,” he knows you too well to know that you’re not okay. The moment you open the bathroom stall door he’ll be the first to see past the fake smile you attempt to put on.

“No.”

Changbin clearly doesn’t like that response because it takes him all forty seconds to learn how to open the bathroom stall. He stands there watching you cry for a short moment before he reaches down taking your hand. He walks you to the counter where the sinks are and tells you to sit on the edge. Sitting there with your legs dangling he gets a paper towel and wipes away your tears with cool water. His eyes are filled with sadness as he takes care of you.

“What happened?” He asks, finally breaking the silence that’s formed between you.

“Hyunjin is now engaged,” you don’t bother lying. There isn’t a point in making up some lame excuse to why you’re crying in the bathroom at work.

“Oh.”

“He didn’t tell me he was going to propose. I found out because Eun posted a photo,” closing your eyes you can still see the stupid photo in your head. You absolutely hated how pretty she looked, clinging to Hyunjin with one hand while she held out her hand with the engagement ring on it towards the camera.

“That’s kind of a dick move, that he didn't talk to you about it.” It’s reassuring to know that Changbin agreed Hyunjin should have told you.

“What do I even say to him when I get home?” you ask as he continues to sweep away the tears from your cheek.

“Congrats I had no clue you were planning that.”

“I hate that I started crying at work because of this stupid photo,” a heavy sigh passes your lips as a wave of embarrassment washes over you.

“Is it safe to say you’re in love with your best friend?” he asks, staring right at you. You wanted desperately to lie to him, to tell him he’s absolutely crazy for even thinking that. The problem is you can’t lie to him. You don’t want to keep you feeling buried away from everyone. You want someone to know the pain you’re feeling. It’s hard to put on a fake smile and act like you aren’t in love.

“Yes.”

From that moment on you and Changbin only got closer. You spent many nights in his apartment attempting to stay away from Hyunjin and Eun as they planned their wedding. He came over to your place after you congratulated Hyunjin on his engagement. You put on a fake smile and fought back tears, but luckily your best friend was none the wiser.

Changbin held you and rubbed your back when you stared at the wedding invitation Eun had personally handed to you.

You weren’t sure how you were supposed to sit in a church and watch the man you considered to be the love of your life marry someone else.

The moment he saw the invitation he asked if he could go with you. Telling you that you needed a friend with you. On a warm Saturday after noon in the middle of June you sat in a church in the second row with Changbin by your side. You’re dressed in a spaghetti strap blush colored dress with a pair of small heels on. He’s wearing a dress shirt with a pair of dress pants. His hand is laced with yours as he’s sat right next to you leaving no space between you. Your eyes stayed locked on Hyunjin who was standing in front of the crowd. The moment Hyunjin's dark eyes lock on his soon to be wife walking down the aisle your heart stings. Blinking back tears, you watch them exchange vows.

A tear streams down your face as Hyunjin says “I do”, and just like that your fantasy inside your head is finally over.

Standing in the middle of the dance floor with arms around Changbin's neck you try to focus on just him. Swaying to the beat of a slow song. You originally told him you didn’t want to dance but he practically begged you. His hands are wrapped around you resting just above your butt. You can’t feel his eyes burning a hole in you.

“YN?” he catches your attention. Looking up you find him staring at you. “You look really beautiful,” his sweet words cause you to blush.

“Thank you, you look really handsome.”

“Come back to my place tonight, please,” his statement catches you off guard.

“Changbin,” you aren’t sure what you plan on saying.

“You don’t need to be in the place you share with him,” nobody seems to understand you quite like Changbin does these days.

“I’ll be okay,” it’s a lie you won’t be okay. If you go back to your apartment you share with your best friend you’ll do nothing but cry yourself to sleep.

“Please,” he pleads.

“Changbin why?”

“Because I don’t want you to be sad anymore. Especially over a guy who was too blind to see what was right in front of him,” he stops swaying to the beat of the song and stares at you. His arms still wrapped around you holding you close.

“Bin,” his statement feels like a weight being put on your chest. You aren’t sure if you’re reading too much into it but it sounds like more than just a friend concerned for you.

“Can I cut in?” You look up to see Hyunjin standing there.

Changbin looks at your best friend and opens his mouth before quickly shutting it. You assume he’s biting back telling him no.

“It’s up to her,” Changbin finally speaks.

You want to say no, but you need to do this. You tell Changbin you’ll find him after the next song. That you need to talk.

Placing your hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders he rests his hand on your side and looks at you smiling. There is a sudden awkward tension between you. You can’t even look him in the eyes. Your eyes bounce around avoiding his gaze.

“So you and Changbin seem cozy,” you aren’t sure if he’s bringing up Changbin just to make small talk.

“Yeah he’s a really good guy,” you sigh.

Another slow song starts to play and Hyunjin clears his throat. Looking up at him you see he’s no longer smiling.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to propose,” he sighs. Knitting your eyebrows together you’re confused on why he’s apologizing for this a year later. “I thought if I talked to you about it I would talk myself out of asking her.” You don’t understand his statement. Why on earth does he think you would try to change his mind? Even if you didn’t want him to marry her you would have never told him that. You truly cared about his happiness more than your own.

“YN you know you’re my best friend right?”

You nod silently. “Okay I love you so much,” he lets out a heavy sigh. You can’t tell if he means he loves you as a friend or if he loves you differently. All you know is his statement leaves your stomach twisting in knots.

“I love you too,” you say this knowing that you’re always going to love him. Even if he shattered your heart into a million pieces without meaning to.

Looking off to the side you see Changbin standing on the edge of the dance floor watching you. His normal happy go lucky smile is nowhere to be seen on his face. At this moment you would much rather be with Changbin than here with Hyunjin.

“I’m assuming you want to go talk to him. Something tells me I interrupted an important conversation with him,” Hyunjin says, removing his hands from you.

“I think it was an important one, but I might have messed it up.”

He reaches out brushing his thumb across your cheek for a quick moment before saying, “don’t let something good slip away from you. I’ve made that mistake so do me a favor and don’t do the same.”

Your heart drops as you stare at your best friend, “why did you let it slip away?”

“Because I was dumb and selfish. So do me a favor and don’t do what I did.”

Your head spins stepping away from him. You need to leave immediately, just being in the room with Hyunjin is too much. Walking quickly over to Changbin you grab his hand and tug him out of the room. Walking outside the warm summer air hits you and you take a deep breath.

“Did you still want me to stay with you tonight?” You look over at him.

“Yeah.”

Sitting on Changbin’s couch you’re still both dressed in your outfits from the wedding, except you’ve taken off your heels and Changbin has undone a couple of buttons and rolled up his sleeves. You’re watching a random game show barely paying attention.

“Do you plan on still living with him?” Changbin asks out of nowhere.

Looking over at him you find him staring at you. You haven’t thought that far in advance. You don’t really have anywhere else to go so living with Hyunjin is really your only option. You’ll just have to push back your feelings and live with the happy couple.

“I don’t know.”

“Please move in with me, at least until you find something else. Or you can just permanently live here. I have a guest room that you can have.”

You don’t understand why Changbin sounds so desperate for you to move in with him. You knit your eyebrows together processing everything he has just said.

“Why?”

“If I say something I need you to not get up and just walk away. I need you to listen,” he turns so he’s completely facing you on the couch.

“Okay.”

“YN I like you a lot, and not just as a friend. To be extremely honest the thought of you having to live with the man that broke your heart makes me sick. I’m asking you to move in so you can live with someone who’s not completely blind to what’s right in front of them,” he pauses and stares at you trying to judge your reaction to his confession. “If you don’t like me back it’s completely fine, but I still want you to move in. I personally think you need space from Hyunjin.” Everything he says makes you feel like your head is swimming. You feel completely lost, you couldn’t lie you had a crush on Changbin. You’ve had one for a long time. You’ve just been consumed by your love for Hyunjin. It’s left you unaware of the people around you.

“I’ll move in,” you say without really even thinking about it.

A smile spreads across his face, “we can talk about our feelings after a while. I know Hyunjin getting married is a lot to process. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you being emotional.”

After that night you moved in with Changbin. Him and his friend Minho helped you pack up your stuff from the apartment. All of your stuff was gone before Hyunjin and Eun even returned from their honeymoon. The day before they came home you shot Hyunjin a text telling him you moved out. Your text said, “I’m sorry you’re finding out this way but I have decided it’s probably best for both of us that I move out. I want you to have a good chance and make your marriage work and I think we both know if I live there it’s going to put a strain on your marriage and our friendship. Don’t worry we’re still friends, love YN.”

Two minutes later you received a text from him, “you didn't have to move out. We could have made this work. I appreciate you caring about my marriage, but I want you to know I’m going to miss you. Love Hyunjin.”

You couldn’t respond to that message. You just closed your phone and put it away pushing away the feeling that we’re creeping up.

Two months into living with Changbin is when your feelings for Hyunjin started to fade and your feelings towards your roommate grew more and more each day. Your days were made when you would hear Changbin laugh over the dumbest things. You lived for the little touches you would get here and there. Changbin was starting to fill a hole in your heart caused by Hyunjin. Late nights sitting on the couch watching movies were your favorite. The first few you both sat on different sides of the couch, but now two months in you lay between Changbin legs with your eyes glued to the TV.

Three and half months in is when you've finally confessed to Changbin you’re falling for him. He only responded with a huge smile across his face as he said a simple, “finally.”

Four months in you’re officially a couple and you sleep in his room every night. You’re now to the point where you don’t think of Hyunjin everyday. Your mind only seems focused on the man who kisses you good morning even before you’ve brushed your teeth.

Eight months in is when you received a phone call from Hyunjin telling you that Eun is pregnant, Hyunjin says he wanted to tell you first. Before you can even process if you have any emotions, Changbin has you pressed up against the wall, as his lips nipped their way down your neck. Hungry hands roamed your skin under your sweater. Your mind feels as if it’s in haze as he whispers dirty things to you.

Your mind and heart don’t even seem to care that Hyunjin is going to be a father. You only actually care about the man who dropped down to his knees in front of you pulling your underwear down your thick thighs. Lifting your leg onto his shoulder he licks up your slit. Your head is thrown back as he pumps two fingers in and out of you. After sleeping together twice Changbin made it his mission to learn all the things that turned you on. Your fingers tangle in his hair gently tugging and earning a moan from him as he sucks in your clit while his fingers continue pumping into you. You come moaning his name loudly. Sitting back in his hunches he wipes his mouth, smirking.

“Are you done?” You ask, egging him on.

“Oh god, not even close,” moments later his pants are pushed down just enough to free his straining erection. He wasted no time wrapping one of your legs around his waist as he thrust into you quickly.

With his lips against your ear he whispers, “I love you.”

You don’t even have to think about it as you moan back, “I love you too.”

You’ll always care about Hyunjin. It’s impossible not to, but Seo Changbin is the one who owns your heart now. He appreciates you more than anyone ever has. He goes out of his way to let you know he loves you.

“Are you mine, baby girl?” he groans, snapping his hips into yours.

“Only your,” you whine wrapping your arms around his neck.

He continues to have you pressed up against the wall with one hand tightly gripping your thigh. His lips are nipping at your neck, slowly moving down to the junction where your neck and shoulder meet. He sucks on your skin with the intention of leaving a mark. One of your hand tangles in his hair again tugging once more to receive a hungry groan. The other hand claws at his shoulder.

You come screaming his name as a hot wave of pleasure rushes over you. He nips at your skin with a muffled moan of your name as he finishes inside you. Slowly pulling out he leans forward and presses a soft kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too.”

Leaning against the wall with legs feeling like jello, he rushes off to the bathroom and comes back with a warm wash cloths to wipe away the mess he’s made between your legs.

You spend the rest of the evening curled up in bed with your boyfriend neither of you bother to get dressed. There’s no place you would rather be than in the arms of a man who fixed your broken heart.

Regarding taglist:

If you aren’t interacting with my writing outside of liking the new post I’m gonna have to remove your name from the taglist. You will also be removed if I try to tag you and your blog is listed as "invisible". If you've changed your URL and didn't let me know I will also be removing your name. I’m sorry for the inconvenience but my interactions outside or likes feels like it’s nonexistent right now. All of my taglist are still open though. If you request to be added to one via this form, I kindly ask for interactions in the form and feedback and reblogs. To be quite honest, those really encourage my writing.

[the-winter-spider]

Seven | One Shot AU

Word Count: 3.5k

Parings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Death, mentions of drug use, mentions of abuse. Angst.

Inspired by: Seven by Taylor Swift

You remember the way the woods smelled in summer: an earthy mix of moss and wildflowers, the gentle decay of fallen leaves. Back then, those woods felt endless to you, a vast expanse filled with boundless adventures waiting to unfold. The town, with its creaky old houses and quiet, winding streets, served as a mere backdrop for something greater—something you and Bucky hadn’t quite discovered yet but talked about endlessly. Together, you crafted entire worlds, weaving stories and escaping into realms that existed solely in your imaginations.

Bucky was always a step ahead, a fearless explorer leading you deeper into the forest as if he knew its secrets by heart. He would pick up a stick and declare it a sword, instantly pulling you into an epic adventure. You’d find yourselves battling imaginary foes, building forts from branches and leaves. The towering trees became your protective walls, and the leafy canopy above transformed into your expansive sky. Every so often, he would glance back over his shoulder, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief, checking to see if you were still there, breathless and laughing behind him. In those fleeting moments, it felt like nothing could touch you—not the outside world, nor the weight of grown-up worries whispered in the shadows of your home.

The river became your favorite sanctuary. You would sit at its edge, dipping your toes into the cool, clear water as it rushed by. In that small clearing by the bank, you both shared secrets that seemed monumental at the time. You confided your hopes and dreams to him, the aspirations that reached far beyond the town’s borders. Bucky listened intently, nodding as if he understood completely, even when his responses were often silent.

One bright afternoon, curiosity nudged you to ask him if he believed there was more beyond the town limits. Without hesitation, he gazed out over the shimmering water and nodded confidently. “Of course there is,” he said, his voice steady and reassuring, imbued with a certainty as solid as the earth beneath you. “One day, we’re going to see it. All of it.” In that moment, you believed him completely, your heart swelling with shared dreams.

The clearing became your sacred sanctuary, a timeless refuge just for the two of you. In this secluded space, you felt an exhilarating sense of freedom. There was an unexplainable safety that enveloped you, as if the bond you shared could shield you from anything the world outside could throw your way. As the worries of life faded into the background, it was just you and Bucky—two kids with wild imaginations, playing make-believe in the woods as if you could remain in that moment forever.

You don’t often discuss home with Bucky, but somehow, he always knows. There’s a deep understanding between you, unspoken yet solid, built from the glances exchanged over the years, from those times he would meet you outside when you couldn’t bear to stay another minute within those walls. The woods transformed into a haven, a place to escape not just for adventure, but to breathe freely, to leave everything else behind.

There are days when you meet in the clearing, and Bucky seems quieter, his usual spark dulled, as though a heavy weight bears down on him. He doesn’t reveal much, but you’ve overheard fragments—conversations about expectations and duties pressing upon him like a dark cloud, his parents whispering about wars and the looming possibility of conscription. When you ask if he’s okay, he simply shrugs, offering a small, reassuring smile, as if he’s trying to comfort you as much as himself.

You don’t share everything, either, but he understands when you lean against him, finding solace in the strength of his shoulder. He allows you to speak when the words rise within you, and sometimes you do, pouring out your heart about the walls of your house that feel stifling, about the eerie silence that lingers there, the unsettling calm that hangs over every room. Some days, it feels like a weight pressing down, like you’re poised on the brink of something shattering. But here, in this clearing with Bucky, the world feels manageable once again. In this sacred place, all that matters is that you have a refuge, someone who understands.

In these moments, neither of you needs to fill the silence with words; instead, it becomes something precious—a bond deepened by all the unspoken thoughts and feelings. Sitting side by side, you let the trees around you block out the chaos of the outside world, and for a little while, it’s just the two of you. Just two kids, two hearts tethered to each other by shared secrets and the comfort of knowing that someone else is there—enough to keep the shadows at bay.

That night is etched into your memory, every detail vivid as if it happened just yesterday. You met him in the clearing as usual, but tonight felt different—he felt different. His eyes held a look you hadn’t seen before, an emotion that lay somewhere between sorrow and hope, a quiet longing that mirrored the ache in your own heart.

The world faded away as he took your hand, pulling you close. The familiar sounds of the forest fell silent, leaving only the soft sound of your breaths mingling in the cool night air. His hand gently brushed your cheek, his thumb tracing a line over your jaw, as he gazed at you as if he were memorizing every detail, acutely aware that this might be the last time he could see you like this.

Lying together on the uneven ground, surrounded by the scent of damp earth and pine, you allowed the distance that had been building between you to dissolve. His touch was gentle, hesitant at first, as if he feared breaking the fragile space you’d created. But as both of you grew bolder, hands exploring familiar curves and lines, it transformed into something deeper—an unspoken understanding that blossomed with the way he pressed his forehead to yours, his breath shuddering with the same mix of nerves and desire that surged within you.

Your bodies moved together in a rhythm that felt instinctual, the warmth of his skin grounding you as the feel of his heart beat rapidly beneath your fingers. It wasn’t about the place or the way the world lay just beyond the trees, waiting for you to step back into it; it was about him—the way he looked at you with a depth that felt like safety, a promise that he would be there even if he couldn’t stay. You felt connected to him in a way that was new and uncharted, yet it felt right—as if you had been made for this moment, for him.

Afterward, the two of you lay tangled together, his arm draped protectively over you, as if he could shield you from everything that lurked outside this sanctuary. He murmured softly, his lips brushing gently against your shoulder, tracing your skin with a tenderness that made your heart ache. Then he grew still, his mouth lingering on a tender spot, and you felt his hand shift, his fingers skimming over the bruise that had appeared on your upper arm, a mark you hadn’t realized was there until he touched it.

His hand tightened slightly, his body tensing beside you. He lifted his head, his expression hardening as he looked at you with a mixture of pain and anger—not directed at you, never at you. His jaw clenched, and he held your gaze, something protective and fierce igniting in his eyes.

“Come with me,” he whispered, the words almost a plea. “We don’t have to stay here. We can leave tonight. Just you and me.”

A rush of longing surged within you, a fierce desire to say yes, to let him take you away and escape everything that held you here. But then you thought of your little sister—how she counted on you, how she needed you. You couldn’t leave her behind. Not yet.

“I can’t, Bucky,” you murmured, your voice trembling beneath the weight of your choice. “I have to stay. She needs me.”

He nodded slowly, understanding even as you saw the hurt in his eyes. Gently, he pulled you close again, his arms enveloping you, holding you as if he could keep you safe just by remaining there a little longer. The two of you lay there, clinging to each other as if you could hold the world at bay for just a little while more, letting the quiet night and the shadows of the trees surround you.

When he finally left, it felt as though he had taken a piece of you with him—a piece that would always belong to him, left behind in that hidden clearing where the memory of your love remained untouched and untarnished, a sanctuary from everything you couldn’t escape.

—-

Bucky stepped off the bus, the crisp autumn air biting at his skin as he took a deep breath, the familiar scent of damp earth and fallen leaves wrapping around him like an unwelcome shroud. After years of chasing ghosts and avoiding the pull of home, he was finally back, and it felt like stepping into a shadow of his past. This wasn’t the homecoming he had imagined; it was the day of your sister’s funeral, a day draped in mourning and heavy with grief.

The funeral was a blur of somber faces, murmured condolences, and the familiar weight of loss hanging thick in the air. He stood at the edge of the crowd, watching you from a distance, unable to bring himself to cross that final barrier. You looked different—so much older, worn down by the weight of everything you had endured. Your eyes, once bright and full of life, now held a haunting depth, a heaviness as if this loss was the last straw in a long line of burdens you had carried.

Bucky’s heart ached at the sight of you, the girl he once knew so well, now surrounded by people who offered empty words of sympathy, words like “tragedy” and “too young” that dripped with a bitterness he couldn’t ignore. The murmurs of the crowd stung, and he felt a familiar surge of anger rise within him—anger for the unfairness of it all, for the way life had dealt you such a cruel hand. He knew the weight of the sacrifices you had made for the only family you had left, the way life kept pulling you under when all you wanted was to stay afloat.

As the service wore on, Bucky finally pushed through the throng of mourners, seeking you out but you were already gone. When he found you again, it was as if the world had faded away. You stood alone at the old riverbank, your gaze lost in the gentle ripple of the water, the place that had once been your sanctuary. Memories flooded back—the laughter, the whispered secrets, the dreams you’d spun together. In that moment, it felt as if no time had passed at all, and the years that separated you melted away.

He stepped up beside you, his presence grounding. Together, you stood in silence, letting the memories settle like leaves upon the water’s surface, swirling and mingling until they disappeared from sight. After a while, Bucky broke the silence, his voice softer, rougher than you remembered. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he said, the weight of the unspoken words heavy in the air. He began to share snippets of his life—stories of travel, of trying to find meaning in places that felt foreign without you. “But nothing ever felt real,” he admitted, looking at you with an intensity that made your heart race, “or fulfilling without you there.”

You gave him a sad smile, one that carried the weight of understanding. “I should feel crushed,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. “I know I should be heartbroken, but… I can’t help feeling hopeful. And that makes me feel like a terrible person.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed in concern, surprise evident in his gaze. He didn’t interrupt, sensing you needed the space to let your feelings flow.

“I lost her over a year ago,” you confessed, your voice trembling. “When she fell in with the wrong crowd… I tried everything, Bucky, but it was like she was already gone. And I held on, thinking I could save her, but now—now I can finally let go. I feel like I can breathe for the first time, like maybe… maybe I can finally leave.”

His heart swelled at your words, both painful and liberating. He reached for your hand, his fingers warm against your cold skin, grounding you with the strength of his touch. There was a deep understanding in that simple gesture, the weight of his own losses mirrored in yours.

You took a shaky breath, pulling away slightly to look him in the eye. “I got accepted into a writing program at NYU,” you said, a small smile breaking through the grief as hope flickered in your chest. “I can finally start over.”

A glimmer of pride lit up Bucky’s face, making your heart ache in a familiar, tender way. “That’s incredible, your incredible” he said, his voice full of warmth.

He reached up, his hand finding your cheek, his thumb brushing gently over your skin. The warmth of his touch seeped into you, steadying you in a way that felt safe. You leaned into his hand, your eyes meeting his, and in that moment, the world outside seemed to fade into nothing.

“I’m moving to New York too,” he said softly, his words wrapping around you like a promise. “Got a job at the VA with my friend Sam.”

The realization settled in your chest, a feeling that was dangerously close to happiness. “You are?” you breathed, and your heart raced at the thought of him being so close, so accessible after years of distance.

Bucky nodded, a soft smile spreading across his face, wide and genuine. You leaned your forehead against his, your breaths mingling as the years of separation melted away. The connection you had shared as children resurfaced, and it felt like home—like finally finding your way back to something sacred.

“Finally,” he whispered, his voice thick with relief, as if this moment had been a long time coming, a culmination of all those unspoken feelings and the bond that had never truly broken.

In that quiet space, surrounded by the stillness of the river and the memories that lingered in the trees, you felt an overwhelming sense of peace wash over you. This was a new beginning, one where the past and present intertwined, allowing you to step forward with the promise of hope, of love, of something that felt right. You had found your way back—to him, to yourself, and to a future that shimmered just beyond the horizon.

——

New York feels like a whole new world, yet somehow, with Bucky by your side, it feels like coming home. The city buzzes with life—horns honking, people chattering, street performers playing their hearts out—each sound merging into a chaotic symphony. But when you’re with him, the noise fades away, leaving just the two of you in a private bubble of shared memories and quiet laughter.

You fall into each other’s company with an ease you didn’t realize you could still have, as if no time has passed since the days of innocent dreams and whispered secrets. Each moment spent together feels like a thread weaving a tapestry of connection, pulling you closer with every shared smile and lingering gaze.

One evening, after wandering aimlessly through the vibrant streets, you find yourselves drawn to Central Park. It’s the city’s version of your old woods, a sprawling oasis amidst the concrete jungle. The trees sway gently in the cool night breeze, their leaves rustling softly, creating a soothing melody that accompanies the distant sounds of the city. Above you, the stars flicker faintly, struggling to shine through the urban glow, but still managing to create a beautiful backdrop for the two of you.

Bucky takes your hand, his grip firm yet tender, as he leads you to a quiet spot beneath a large oak tree. The grass is cool beneath you as you sit together, close enough that your shoulders touch, the warmth of his body radiating against you. You lean against each other, letting the silence speak volumes.

Eventually, Bucky breaks the stillness, his voice low and steady, like he’s afraid he’ll shatter the fragile moment. He starts to talk, and the words pour out, revealing the layers of his experiences—the sights he’s seen, the losses he’s endured, and the moments that still haunt him. Each confession is like a fragile thread he carefully unravels from his chest, laying bare the vulnerabilities he often hides from the world.

You listen intently, your heart aching for him as he shares his scars—both visible and hidden. It’s a side of Bucky you’ve rarely seen, the soldier stripped of his armor, allowing you to see the man beneath. Your hand rests on his, grounding him, a silent promise that he’s not alone in this.

When he finishes, you take a deep breath, feeling the weight of your own story pressing against your heart. You share your truth—the ache you carried when he left, the years that felt hollow without him. You tell him about the quiet days when you’d return to the clearing in the woods, yearning for a glimpse of him, hoping that somehow he’d be there, standing by the river with that boyish grin that had always made your heart flutter.

As you speak, there’s something fragile in the air, like a delicate thread connecting your pasts. You both seem to step back into your younger selves, back when life was simpler, filled with dreams and possibilities. But now, you carry the weight of experience and loss, yet somehow, together, you feel lighter. You laugh at old memories, reminiscing about the games you played, the secret looks you shared, and the dreams you whispered when the world felt limitless.

In those quiet moments, you feel something shift between you—something real and steady. It’s like finding a part of yourself you thought was lost forever, a piece that belongs to him as much as it belongs to you. Bucky reaches for your hand, his thumb tracing lazy circles over your skin, anchoring you in this newfound intimacy.

“I thought I lost this,” he admits softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Lost us.”

You smile softly, squeezing his hand, the connection pulsing between you. “I did too.”

As the night stretches on, you sit together in the heart of the city, enveloped in your own little sanctuary. In that moment, you both realize that this—the love, the innocence you thought was gone—is still alive, buried beneath the weight of everything you’ve been through, just waiting for you to rediscover it.

The evening unfolds in soft whispers and tender glances, the night wrapping around you both like a comforting promise. Eventually, you make your way back to his apartment, where the city lights cast a warm glow through the window. It feels as if all the years and miles between you have led to this moment, to the quiet sanctuary of his room.

Once inside, the atmosphere shifts. Bucky’s hands are gentle as he pulls you close, his fingers tracing the familiar lines of your face, as if he’s rediscovering you all over again. There’s a tenderness in the way he holds you, a reverence that makes your heart swell. When his lips meet yours, it’s unhurried and soft, full of the patience you’ve both learned in his absence.

The kiss is a revelation, a blend of everything you both have yearned for, a promise that transcends the years apart. His touch is careful, reverent—a reminder of all the words left unspoken, all the feelings tucked away for far too long.

The world outside fades as he lays you down beside him, his touch slow and full of certainty, savoring every part of you as if you were the missing piece he’s searched for all along. His gaze is intense, softened only by the quiet vulnerability in his eyes, a look that says he’s finally home.

As your bodies move together, everything feels right. There’s no urgency, only the deep, steady rhythm of rediscovery, a silent promise exchanged between breaths and touches. When he finally pulls you close, his forehead resting against yours, his voice is a whisper that cuts through the stillness.

“There’s never been anybody but you,” he murmurs, his words like a vow, anchoring you both to this moment.

You smile, brushing a hand gently over his cheek, your heart brimming with warmth. “And there will never be anybody but you.”

In that moment, with his arms wrapped around you, the past fades into something distant, replaced by the quiet certainty that this is where you were always meant to be—here, with him, where you’ve both finally found your way back to each other.

As the night deepens, you drift into a peaceful slumber in each other’s embrace, the city’s heartbeat echoing outside, but within the walls of this room, there’s only the soft cadence of your breaths mingling together. And in that sacred space, you know that no matter what the future holds, you have reclaimed not just each other, but the love that has always been waiting for you to find it again.